#like dude… idk who even drew those hands… not I

[pjs-everyday]

lol love is stored in the hands 🤲💕

[kpopnstarwars]

Warriors: Choi San x Reader

A/N: ohh boyyy after the kpop fanfic drought im back and it's with warriors au choi san

Summary: San and Reader are mages, which means they are made to serve. They are lowborn, destined to obey humans - the nobles and the highborn - with their every breaths. What if they don't want that?

tw: 18+, smut (p in v, fingering, cockwarming sort of), swearing, violence, death, blood, minimally gory at one point, war, child soldiers (14 yo), society is a shit place to be if you're a mage, tons of worldbuilding, assassins, freaking bath sex, hint at sa at one point from some dude we hate, san is kind of a brat tamer, seonghwa cameo but sad, idk if you can tell but i suck at summaries, mention of a harem, mention of slavery

wc: 4.8k

As a child, you watched from afar, waiting for things you could not grasp.

They told you that you were made to serve. They recounted age-old tales, about gods that crafted humans in their divine hands, moulding the mages afterwards to be commanded by their beloved creations. They filled your mind with legends of faithful individuals of your kind who proved their worth with obedience until you wished to be like your forebears.

Back when you were but an infant, you believed it. You knew the two powers that were bestowed upon you by the gods, varying in every mage, were gifts made solely to assist the highborns. In your naivety, you thought the rosy flame cupped in your small, childish palms would be used to warm the nobles in the icy winter, and that you would fulfil your purpose through that, through being of use to them. They had no shame as they informed you you were just a tool forged for following their orders, and you were convinced it was all true - until you met San.

Although you were the one with the ability to summon an inferno, he was always the one with a burning fire in his eyes. Like all mages, he’d been taken from his parents the moment he didn’t need his mother’s milk - he was given as a peace offering from the Hwangso warlord for his control of water: helpful for the upkeep of the crops.

This occurred in the small period of time in which Hwangso, the neighbouring province, was attempting to forge alliances with your province, Neugdae. Soon after, your warlord breached their territory, claiming it as his - you often wondered if the news filtering back from the front lines of a new settlement captured ever affected San.

You met him when he was an eight year old filled with bottled fury too old for his years, and you were a quiet, invisible seven year old. At those tender ages, neither of you had developed your second ability yet, nor had you gotten a taste of the power at your fingertips, but San still held his head high; you remember marvelling at the way he’d make a point of meeting every single noble’s gaze and holding it. He was just a scrawny, sun browned kid back then - nothing like the elegant lethality of the man that he is now.

Every day until you turned fourteen, you toiled beside him. The work was cruel, your supervisors crueller; the sun would beat down on your back as you laboured in the fields, side by side with San as barely a quarter of the way across the settlement, the nobles sheltered beneath their silky parasols, boasting their pale, porcelain skin. Back then, San never spoke of the injustice of it all out loud, but something about the look in his eyes when he saw them swanning past stirred something inside you. He made you realise that you were not the soulless, mindless puppet that you’d been told you were, but a person.

It wasn’t simply the rage inside him that drew you to him, though. It was the way he remained sweet, kind, despite it all, making sure to send licks of cool mist down your neck when your supervisors weren’t looking, nicking extra crumbs of food for you and remaining beside you, a beacon of light that anchored you to sanity even in the dark.

Even when, you at fourteen, him fifteen, were sent out into battle.

There were always skirmishes between neighbouring warlords: a constant push and pull for more land, more resources, more power. They would attack on a whim - mages were expendable, nothing more than canon fodder; behind each squadron was a noble who would hang back behind the lines, commanding, unbothered by the bloodshed because it was the blood of mere tools.

By then, both you and San had developed your second abilities. San’s was the ability to manipulate shadows, turning them into almost solid shapes that could physically hinder attacks by forming daggers or clutching hands, or could temporarily block the world out in a shroud of rolling black fog. Yours was the art of shapeshifting; you let the outline of your body flicker between forms, changing into powerful, deadly creatures whose substance was inhabited by the soul of a wavering teenager.

You’d known that you’d be forced to fight since you were young, but you never could have imagined the brutality of war.

It was there, in the midst of the battlefield, that any lingering innocence was burned from your soul. You learned that San’s water did not just bring life, but could also fill up someone’s lungs until they drowned upon dry ground, that your fire was not just a source of warmth or light, but could also combust a man’s heart within his chest, that the animals you were teaching yourself to shapeshift into could maul and break bones.

Many nights, you would fall asleep, curled against San, your face buried in his side with his arm wrapped around you, the taste of blood still in your mouth from where you’d torn your enemies’ throat out with the vicious canines of a tiger or the needle sharp fangs of a lynx. You would leave the front lines soaked with crimson, the essence of other people in your hair, smeared on your face, caked and drying under your nails.

It terrified you, how easily you could slice their flesh open with your claws. Armour was not wasted on mages, only generals, so just like you, all they wore were roughly woven tunics tied at the waist and trousers - you met no resistance when you killed your own kind, silent apologies on your lips.

Within the squadrons were also humans that had fallen from grace - criminals who still felt entitled enough by their birthright to think they could have a fourteen year old mage’s body; San protected you until you could protect yourself. In the first few weeks, when the punches he threw were too weak to deter them, he would let them beat him, giving you time to escape before returning to you, limping, lip split and nose bloody but the fire in his eyes never faltering.

On those nights, tears of frustration would leak from the corners of your eyes as you cleaned him up. He could so easily stop them if he used his abilities, but by then doing that without being instructed to do so by a highborn would lead to a flogging or a beating - fairytales no longer worked on you at that age, so your commanders and generals utilised fear mongering instead. You remember the hate and helplessness burning inside you when you looked at them: if all the mages rebelled at once, the nobles would have no chance, but everyone was too scared. Using your abilities on humans only led to execution.

You remember Seonghwa: he was a mage a few years older who cared for you and San as if you were his blood. He got too strong - you can’t recall his second ability but his first meant he could push a man over the brink of insanity, until he frothed at the mouth and his brain boiled within his skull. When you first witnessed the depth of his power, you were originally struck by the pain in Seonghwa’s eyes, and then by the fear in your commander’s.

The next day, Seonghwa was gone.

Often, you wonder if he fought back, or if he just let them kill him.

After, you made San promise that he wouldn’t show them if his powers developed further. He made you promise the same, and when you fought beside him, he was a constant reminder to reign yourself in, to survive. You were more careful with your powers from then on.

Some nights, though, when the frost ridden night air cut right through the ragged material of your blanket, you huddled next to San and lit a small fire in your hands. He’d tell you to stop, and you’d point out that he was shivering; he’d reply that he’d rather that than get you caught, and you would ignore him, not missing the way he tucked himself closer to the flame.

You didn’t tell him, but sometimes you would shift into a small animal, like a raccoon, and steal food for him in the dead of night. You didn’t answer when he asked you where you got it from, just shrugging and thrusting the rolls of bread and strips of dried meat into his hands, telling him he should eat.

When you were sixteen, San discovered he could animate his shadows. He could mould them like clay in his hands, breathing purpose into them - they would disintegrate within about a week or so, their outlines fading until they dissolved into nothing. San shaped a little dragon for you, the length of your forearm and the width of one of your thumbs; he came to you with it cupped in his hands, awe limning his face as the two of you watched it wriggle through the air between you and coil itself around your wrist.

You have many memories of those times, but one remains crystal clear, even to this day. A year onwards from San’s dragon, you found yourself hemmed in by enemy forces, your body tired from the fight - victory was so close for your side, and because of it, the Hwangso fought even harder, like cornered animals. If you broke through them, you would have been able to easily end their commander, but they had you, six to one. Hands closed around your throat, choking, and as the consciousness bled from you, you heard San’s cry, smelt the fear in the air as he tore through them to get to you: that in itself would have been insignificant - you had saved each other countless times through the years - but he had disobeyed a direct command.

He’d been told to kill the commander. He’d had a clear shot, and even still, he’d ignored orders, choosing to save you instead.

Both of you were beaten for it, and even as you heard the sound of San’s ribs cracking, he held your eyes, silently telling you that he’d do it over and over again, if only to keep you with him.

You think that was the moment when the two of you truly got a taste for rebellion. It was the point in the long, winding thread of your life that made you realise that whatever they told you, you would disregard it if it were for San. Their words no longer had as much power over you, because you knew your bond with him was infinitely stronger than any fear they attempted to instil within you.

Soon after that incident, your commander retired, and he was replaced by a man who was more of a fool than him. You began to lose land to Hwangso’s troops, far enough that the settlement where you grew up in was ravaged, razed to the ground. Your commander informed you that you’d evacuate the highborns, leaving the child mages and the servants behind because they would only slow you down - that was the moment you decided to stop listening to him.

The last mage rebellion had been decades ago - they were not ready. It was pathetic how easy it was to overthrow them; together with the rest of the troops and the mages from the settlement, you rebuilt the town and fortified it. San treated his soldiers with respect, with loyalty, and they loved him for it, for the way he would march into battle with them instead of cowering at the rear, for the way he could often be seen in the newly restored fields, watering the crops, for the way he recognised them for who they were.

To this day, you’re in awe of it. Never in your whole life have you come close to anything but fear for a leader, and yet you see it clear in their eyes that they love San, and that he loves them. He is everything that the highborns fear - a powerful, confident mage, wreathed in righteous shadows, fiercely intelligent, a master of strategy.

One of his first moves was to ally himself with the Hwangso warlord, the very man who had given him as a gift to your province. Deep in the highborn’s eyes was the presumption that he could break San and make him yield, followed a month later by pure terror when you held a knife to his neck, hissing to never speak of San like that again. The two of you brought his head in a sack to Hwangso and claimed your rule over the province.

That didn’t mean it was easy, though. There were the nights when San would tremble in your arms, baring his fears to you, his doubts - that it was getting too much too fast: that maybe he really was just made to follow orders. You scoffed at that - you’d seen him grow up, watched his shoulders broaden and his figure fill out with muscle, you’d seen the fire in his eyes blazing with passion; you knew he’d always be more than enough.

You’re not sure when the love blossomed between the two of you. Maybe it was always there, first shown as fierce protectiveness, later as searing kisses where no one could see, of fingers laced with yours in the dark of night. He married you shortly after he began to be recognised as an actual warlord, not a rogue mage; it was a quiet ceremony, but the celebrations of your people were far from that - rumours of the Neugdae province’s mage warlord and his wife rippled like wildfire through the regions, stirring fear and hope alike.

Some wonder why San does not take more wives - he has control over the Baem province as well Neugdae and Hwangso now, and any warlord with that much power would take on a harem without blinking. Not San, though - he’s different from them, he is a mage, a lowborn, his bronzed skin a sign to them of his childhood in the fields, and they find he is an enigma, as is his mystery shrouded right hand man.

But not to you - you understand him as if you share a soul.

On the surface, you are his only wife, aloof and coldly beautiful. In the shadows, you are his sword, his hand. There are myths of you, of the fire wielding ghost that robes itself in a black cowl and changes its skin into a man’s worst nightmare; stories of how you will twist your victim’s thoughts around until he finds the tip of a blade poking out of his chest, speared right through his back. It’s how you prefer to operate - they fear the unknown, and you are the unknown.

The fabric of the bag held in your fingers is soaked with blood. Within it is the head of the Yong province’s advisor. He was an awful man who deserved what you gave him - in a locked room at the back of his house, you found several young mages, half starved and chained by wrist and ankle to each other and a hook set in the wall. Bile bites at the back of your throat at the thought: you’re lucky you never experienced the uglier side of mage slavery.

Night is falling, the sun casting long shadows down the road. You always find the darkness comforting - it feels as if San is near. Today he is; you raise your fist and knock thrice on the solid wood of the gates, lifting your hand in recognition of the guards who peek over the turrets.

Slowly, they ease open the doors, and you stride into the courtyard, your boots clicking against the roughly hewn pavings. A squadron of your soldiers are sparring, but they halt their training when you enter, snapping to attention as you stop at the centre of the space, the dying rays of the sun streaming down the steps towards you, the air still as you wait.

He appears, his gilded silhouette glorious at the top of the stairs. His shadow guards spill down the steps towards you as he descends; their bodies contort and bend, the swirling mass of them parting around you, liquid night, jaws snapping, circling you until you’re surrounded.

A smirk pulls at your lips, and you throw the bag at his feet. You do not bow low, simply dipping your chin as he extracts the head from the sack, inspecting it and nodding before returning it to its roughly woven grave and handing it to one of his shadows to take away. Meeting your eyes, his own filled with amusement, the hint of a smile flashes over his face.

‘Welcome home, my love.’

San’s words are soft, voice quiet enough for only you to hear. You suppress the urge to pull down your mask and kiss him, instead letting your fingers brush against his as you walk with him up the steps and into the hanok; his shadows close the door behind you and the moment they do, he hooks an arm around your waist and hugs you tight, his embrace warm and sweet as always.

You laugh. ‘I was only gone four days, Sannie.’

‘Four days too long for me to be separated from my wife,’ he replies, pushing your cowl back so he can kiss your forehead.

Gripping his shoulders, you tug him down so you can peck his lips before sending him out to the courtyard again - you’re the last person expected through the gates tonight, so he should go out and dismiss the mages training in the courtyard so they can go home to their families and lock up. A happy sigh leaves you as you toe off your shoes, walking through your home and stripping off your bloody clothes before submerging yourself in the pool sunken in the floor. San has already filled it with fresh water, and it takes you mere seconds to heat it up with your fire.

Leaning with your head against the wooden ledge of the pool, you let your muscles loosen, half closing your eyes. The silence doesn’t last long, though - there’s a soft, steady noise coming from the screen behind you, almost like… breathing.

‘Show yourself,’ you command into the still air.

A man steps into view - a human, eyes crazed, knife clutched in his fingers. You realise he does not know who you really are; he just assumes you are the mage warlord San’s wife, delicate and helpless, and you let that role engulf you, backing away to the other edge of the pool with your eyes wide, luring him closer.

‘Your man took everything from me,’ he spits, blade pointed at you as he stalks forward. ‘He took my power, my wealth, my squadron of soldiers. And now I will take his wife.’

Surging out of the pool, you dodge the swipe he aims at you, sending fire surging down the knife’s handle so he drops it with a cry and twisting his arm behind his back in the most painful way possible, wrenching him down to his knees with his face an inch above the water.

‘How did you get in?’ You ask coolly.

‘I’ll never tell y - ’

You send tongues of flame licking down his ribs. ‘Answer the question or suffer.’

The door eases open, revealing San. His eyes land on you, water dripping down your body as you pin the man to the floor, then the distorted reflection from the blade of the knife that’s fallen into the pool, and something dangerous flashes inside his gaze. You let him grab your attacker by the front of his shirt, lifting him off his feet as he brings him face to face with him; you see San’s jaw clench, his hands balling into fists.

‘How fucking dare you try to come anywhere near my wife,’ he growls, shadows coalescing behind him.

You can tell he’s about to say something else, but he stops as the man, trembling and fruitlessly clawing at San’s fingers, wets himself. Your husband’s lip curls in disgust, and he drops him at your feet, pressing him down onto his knees and yanking his head up so he is forced to look up at you. Bending down, you breathe in the sheer fear permeating the air, a soft smile on your face.

‘Now, answer the question.’

‘You’re not his wife,’ he whispers, pale.

‘Oh, but I am,’ you sneer. ‘But that’s not the only role I occupy.’

Slowly, his face drains of colour, horror rippling across it as it slowly dawns on him. He recoils in San’s grasp, scrabbling at the floor in a sorry attempt to put distance between you; he has finally realised who you are and he acts like fucking coward, his mouth gaping wide in a silent plea. Unhurried, you fish the knife out from the pool, twirling it around your thumb before gliding it gently over the skin of his throat.

‘I’m getting impatient.’

‘I - I - the guards, they were distracted upon your arrival, I snuck in at the southern perimeter, please don’t - ’

His words dissolve into a weak gurgle when you slice open his throat. Blood gushes from the seams of the wound, dribbling from his lips, and you step back as he tips forward, landing with a wet thump face first on the wooden floor. Glancing up at San, you sigh before getting back in the pool. One of his shadows carries the body away and your husband tugs his clothes off and slides into the water beside you, pulling you into his chest.

‘He did not hurt you, I presume?’

You snort. ‘He tried.’

San’s fingers run thoughtfully up and down your arm. ‘I’ll talk to the guards. I probably shouldn’t have put Jisung on dusk duty while he was recovering from that fever.’

You nod but don’t answer, instead pressing a kiss to his collarbone. He hums, tipping his head back to give you more access as you mouth at his skin, letting your palms wander over his shapely chest, grip his broad shoulders, skim his waist; you trace the many scars all over his body, and he allows you to, his strong hands gripping your hips when you settle in his lap.

He curses low at the feel of your teeth sinking into the spot where his neck meets his shoulder, his hips jerking upwards, and you both groan at the sensation of the underside of his cock grazing your clit. Smirking, you let your tongue lave over the spot where you bit, pressing a kiss to his jaw and pulling back as his hands tighten their grip on your ass.

‘Missed you too, Sannie. Good to know how much you missed me.’

‘So fucking bratty,’ he hisses.

A thrill shoots through you as he stands, the water sluicing in rivulets down the planes of his chest, lifting you and laying you on the edge of the pool, pinning your knees to the wood and spreading you open. The crude way he looks at you is all consuming, his eyes surveying you from where he stands with the water to his mid thigh, watching as you pussy clenches at the sight of him towering over you.

San remains there, just looking at you, and you curve your spine, almost whining in attempt to make him touch you without you asking for it. His lips quirk to the side as you squirm, trying to inch your hips down so you can grind against him, but his fingers tighten on you, refusing you.

‘What is it you require of me, love?’

Finding your attempts unsuccessful, you huff, glaring at him. He loves to do this, make you articulate exactly what you want from him - he likes the flush that heats your cheeks, your body still shy even after all your years with him, he likes the breathy noises you make when he forces you to tell him just what you desire when all you can think of is his dick, he likes it when you can’t  help but beg him.

‘Y - your fingers,’ you mumble. ‘And your cock.’

‘Say that louder for me, sweetheart, I didn’t catch the last bit.’

‘Your fingers and your fucking cock,’ you snap - a sorry endeavour at trying to hide how much you love when he inflicts this upon you.

San raises an eyebrow, not moving to touch you. Waiting.

‘Please,’ you add.

He smiles. ‘There we go. Wasn’t so hard, was it?’

Your mouth opens to retort, but he slips his fingers inside you, and your back bows, a soft moan leaving your lips as he sweeps his thumb over your clit, his other hand palming your breasts, his tongue dragging over your skin. Burying your hands in his hair, you tug, making him groan low and deep as you pull him closer.

Delectably, his fingers curl, and you ache for him. San has ruined you for anyone else, he is branded onto your soul and also your body, fading marks from your last time together still slightly visible on your throat - a necklace of love bites, laying claim to you. He catches your chin as he brings you closer to the edge, tasting your moans on his tongue, grinding his palm against your clit.

You keen, coming hard around him, chest heaving, and he smirks, holding your waist as shudders wrack your legs from the aftershocks. The fire in his eyes burns ever brighter, so hot you feel your stomach go molten - your hands tighten on his shoulders, nails raking over his back, your tongue unable to form anything other than his name.

‘You’re always so willing to behave once your pussy’s full, hm?’

‘No, I,’ you start, but cry out when he pinches your clit in warning, the muscles of your thighs jumping as it lances through you, white hot. ‘Y - yes, yes, I am, please - ’

In one fluid movement, San buries himself inside you, sheathing himself until his hips kiss yours. Catching you wrists in his hand, he pins them above your head, and your back arches as he pulls out, agonisingly slowly, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging on your walls before slamming back in, tearing a cry of his name from your chest. Tugging your legs up from where they were wrapped around his waist, he hooks your knees over his shoulders - the new angle makes you sob, writhing beneath him as his cock head drives into perfection, drives you to euphoria.

Sometimes, San makes love to you, but not tonight: tonight he fucks into you mercilessly, traces of possessiveness lacing his actions as he litters your skin with bites, his hands leaving exquisite bruises on your hips. Pleasure tears through you like an arrow through your heart, white hot and maddening, ravenous.

‘You fit around my cock so well,’ he pants. ‘Like you were made for me, sweetheart.’

Something snaps inside you at his words, and as if he senses it, San presses his thumb down hard on your clit, speeding up his thrusts until the air is punched from your lungs. Stars flash before your eyes, and your mouth falls open, toes curling as you come on his cock, your cunt convulsing around him, thighs twitching; he doesn’t stop, just continues ploughing into you, and you tremble, tears slipping down your cheeks at the relentless pound of his hips into yours.

With a gasp, he pulls out and comes over your stomach, his wide shoulders rising and falling with heaving breaths, and you groan as he eases you back into the warm water, a hand cupping the back of your neck as he tucks your head under his chin, sliding his softening cock into you again. Wrapping your arms around him, you press a kiss to his jaw and rest your hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm.

‘How do you feel, my love?’

You nuzzle your face into his shoulder. ‘Good. Really fucking good.’

He laughs, and you bask in the sound of his happiness and the comfort of his warm skin against yours. San’s hands run up and down your spine, soothing, and you smile sleepily; you are home, reunited with your other half, the missing part of your soul.

With San, you are complete.

[somewhereinthepines]

a/n: i’m cleaning up my writing files atm, and i found this lil thing. it was supposed to be a full-blown oneshot pwp, but idk if i will return to it like ever. to this set-up in particular, i mean. i might, but also not sure. so here as far as i’ve got with it. technically speaking, this can be considered an AU. ryan is around 23-24 in this fic. chris is 48. the rest of the counsellors are also older. and basically, ryan and chris both have tattoos in this fic, and pretty much look like their concept art versions. that’s the only time, when ryan is allowed to look cool. ever. 

and as to why jacob happens to be here…well, idk. he just is. 

either way, the pair is chris/ryan, there are hints of slight mature themes, but it never got past it lol. also i didn't re-read it, so if there are mistakes, so sorry.

————–

Emma was a freaking tease. Jacob knew it already. Knew it from the get-go, but he couldn’t help himself. He truly couldn’t. He was always getting frustrated with the way she taunted him. Giving him an inch, only for him to make it into a mile. 

Sure, it was part of the deal and they weren’t even dating, but deep down, he dared to hope for something more intimate, than a quickie and promise of maybe, maybe not doing it again. 

It was fun, of course. The things, that they did. Em had a fantastic body and she was more experienced, than most girls he was with before. Yet, it’s where she seemingly drew the line. She wouldn’t allow him to kiss her in public or even throw an arm around her shoulder. 

She resisted anything, that had something to do with them getting committed to one another, and despite how he should have been ‘respectful’ toward her wishes, it still managed to upset him. 

He naively thought, that they kinda had, you know, something special, maybe? A summer flick can grow past just a little crush, no one forbidden it to. 

But she was having none of that. 

She refused to give him any chance to actually show her, that he was pretty serious about making her his girlfriend. It seemed like she didn’t believe him. But Jacob was a stubborn guy, and he kept on telling himself, that he just needs to work harder to win her over. After all, Em was the girl of his dreams. Pretty, witty, and hot as hell. What is there not to want? He just had to try harder to make her see things his way!  

The only problem was, though, that he had no idea how to go about it. He only had one girlfriend before, and even then, she dumped him, because he wasn’t ‘sensitive enough’ for her or whatever. 

Jacob was pretty helpless, when it came to deciphering women's psychology. 

He could always ask Kaitlyn’s opinion on the matter, but she would make fun of him, abusing the boundaries of their friendship for her own amusement. And even if she would have been willing to actually help him, she wasn’t the most girly girl on the block. How would she know what Em might like? And Abi, well, yeah no. He doubts, that she will be of any help, either. She didn’t strike him as someone, who was on the same level as Emma. 

So with all those names crossed out, unfortunately, it left him only with one option. Not the best one. But who else was he going to ask for dating advice? Mister H? 

No, it was out of the question. He won’t ask some old dude, who clearly wasn’t doing anything sexual for years. Jacob needed a more ref-reshed opinion. Such as Nick or Dylan. They’d be able to help. 

For that, he smartly picked the time, when he had two of them in one place. During the breakfast, when everyone was way too sleepy to be smarasses and when, Emma was sitting out of ear-shot. 

It was perfect timing for sure. 

As soon as he was mentally ready, he blurted out, loud enough only for his buds to hear, “What should I do?” 

Dylan and Nick paused their heated discussion about some music band to throw weirded out looks at him. Ryan, on other hand, barely glanced at Jacob, pretty soon returning to poking at his food, like nothing had happened. He looked like he was still half-asleep. But Jacob couldn’t care less about that dude at the moment. 

“What?” Nick blinked, seemingly not following. 

“Yeah, what do you mean?” Dylan asked, leaning on the table, vaguely intrigued. “Did I miss something?” 

“It’s about –” Jacob couldn’t hold back an embarrassed, sheepish smile, that crawled on his lips. “Em.” 

“Oh…right, of course it is.” Dylan immediately looked bored, as if someone had flipped a switch inside his head. “It’s always about her with you, huh?” 

“Wh – no, it’s not!” 

“Yes, it is.” Dylan drawled out, eyes hooded and flat. “Oh Romeo, where is my Romeo?” 

“Did she dump you or something?” Nick chimed in, pushing a piece of broccoli inside his mouth. He was faintly smirking at angried look on Jacob’s face. “About the damn time. The summer is getting close to an end. It’s time to lose some extra weight.”

“Sick burn, man.” 

“I’m serious!” Jacob whispered-shouted, which only resulted in more recondited mockery. “I’ve – I’m asking you to help me!” 

“So she did dump you, then?”

Dylan snorted. Nick was openly smiling now. And Ryan just continued looking like he was pretty much out of it. 

“What? No. No!” Jacob shot back, glaring at them. “Don’t say that, man!”

“Why not? It’s not like she’s gonna date you outside of – umm – y’know, work and all.” Dylan supplied, getting an approving leer from Nick. “Summer affairs tend to be short-lived.” 

“Yeah, what he said.” Nick supported, mouthing another piece of his breakfast. “You win some, you lose some.” 

Jacob frowned, slowly getting frustrated with them. Those two fuckers were always ganging up on him, when it came to Em. But it wasn’t like he had much choice. He couldn’t figure it out on his own. He needed their help. Whether he wanted it or not. 

“I’m serious, dudesss.” Jacob said in a quieter, whiner voice. “I need some – uh, advice? Like pretty please?” 

“Like as in dating advice?” Dylan made a confused face. “From…us?” 

“How desperate are you?” Nick injected, also looking surprised. 

“I don’t know…very desperate?” Jacob offered, seeing a small shift in their behavior. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been asking.” 

“So you want us to help you to make Em like you again?” Dylan asked, rubbing his jaw, like he wasn’t too sure about his own wording. “Like make her get swayed by you?” 

Jacob nodded his head. “Ah, yeah. Yeeeah. I mean. Kind of?” 

“For real?” 

“Yes. Fucking damn it.” he was getting pretty angry here. “How many times do I need to repeat it?” 

Nick sighed, putting his cheek in the hollow of his palm, eyes skipping to the other end of the hall, where Emma chatted with Abi. She was fully oblivious about what they were discussing just a few feet away. Dylan looked into that direction too, humming. To their credit, they both actually seemed somewhat thoughtful now. 

“Well?” 

“I dunno, dude. Didn’t you try to like — aw fuck, I don’t know.” Dylan turned back to him. “Nick, what you’ve got? You’ve gotta have something, right?” 

Nick responded with an indifferent shrug. “Not really. I mean, did you try to do something romantic for her? Like take her to some pretty place?” 

Jacob did nothing of the kind, but this got his attention. “A pretty place? In here?” 

“Where else?” Nick said, playfully raising both of his brows up. “The town doesn’t actually have anything cool in it. And in nature…” 

“You can fuck in nature.” Dylan injected, seemingly proud of his sudden resolution “Do it the forest people style.” 

“Get it going in the bushes?” Jacob honestly thought, that they must be joking. Em would never agree to this kind of stuff. “That’s not serious, guys.” 

“Why not? You can go skinny dipping.” 

“Or you can stage it like you will.” 

“Oh.” 

Now, this was an idea. 

Jacob nodded, considering it. “Okay, okaaay. Continue.” 

“You, her aaand –” 

Dylan and Nick exchanged looks, and smiled at one another, as if knowing something, that he didn’t. 

“And?” Jacob urged, leaning over the table. “And what?” 

“And a private, secluded place. This is what you need.” Nick finished, while Dylan nodded, getting a sip of his coffee. “This will get the ball rolling.” 

“Yeah, you can surprise her and then, get some or whatever.” 

Jacob glanced at Em’s direction. Maybe, this indeed was what he needed. They don’t even had to have sex, maybe just talk about things, where no one can budge in. In the end, he just wanted to make her give him a chance. A real one. And if they’d be alone and she’ll see that he was honestly trying…this should sway her judgment, right? 

But it brings him back to another issue. 

“And where such a place might be?” 

“Uhhhh…well. I don’t know.” Nick answered, unbothered by Jacob’s fallen expression. “Somewhere?” 

“Oh come on, dude!” Jacob whined. “Don’t do this to me!” 

Nick’s state remained neutral, and Jacob started getting real worried here, but then – 

“Maybe, you should ask Ryan.” Dylan offered, pointing his fork at Mister Gloom-Doom, who barely flinched at the notion. “He knows the area better, than any of us.” 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea, actually. Ask him.” Nick murmured, getting back to his food. “Mister H probably showed him around a lot.” 

This was a good point, but it was Ryan, they were talking about. And if there was something, that everybody around here knew, it was that he and Jacob weren’t really getting along well. 

“I don’t think, that he can be –” 

“He sits right here, just ask him, geez.” Nick urged, before starting chewing on his bacon. 

Jacob looked at Ryan, and the other guy looked back at him. “So, Ryan…do you know such a place? For me and Em, I mean.”

The other teen didn’t respond. He didn’t even blink. Expression so-ever blank, the dark eyes slightly lidded. Always unimpressed and uninterested by anything or anyone. Jacob already wanted to punch him in the face. It was almost like an itch under his skin. 

“You’ve been here a lot, so –” 

“I’m not going to help you, dude.” 

He didn’t even hesitate or stammer when he said it. The asshole didn’t so much as bait an eyelid even. And while, Jacob expected it, this did nothing to prevent his temper from rising. Ryan really did pissed him off sometimes.  

“Wow, who would have thought.” Jacob bit back, childishly offended. “I mean, daaaamn. You can’t really contribute to anything, unless it’s a – let’s see, a discussion about how to deepthroat Mister H’s dick. Now, this would have been your field of knowledge, I’d imagine.” 

Dylan made a weird noise, that could have been a poorly stifled giggle, while Nick openly sniggered into his fist, masking it into a low cough. They both did a piss poor job of hiding their amusement. But Ryan himself barely raised a brow at him. 

“Nice one, Jacob.” Ryan deadpanned, taking a bite of his omelet. “I’m never going to recover from it.” 

“I’ll bet, that Mister H is into some kinky shit.” Dylan suggested. “Like some real dirty stuff.” 

“You, mean like an old pervert kind of shit?” Nick joined in, all too happy to spread rumors about their boss. “Roleplay? Or wait, the better yet. Underground BDSM club?” 

“Can you picture it?” Dylan laughed under his breath. “Mister H in leather?” 

“With some kind of torture thing.” 

“Like a paddle.” 

“Or a whip.” 

They could only hold themselves back so much, before they started laughing. Nick nearly choked on the last piece of his bacon. 

“Hey guys, can we please focus on me?” Jacob asked over their laughter, but was ignored. 

“He’s not into weird shit.” Ryan put his own two cents in, for once, looking somewhat annoyed. He always got all bristly and pissy, when they shit-talked his precious camp leader. It was almost like he cared about what they said about Mister Hackett way more, than what they said about Ryan himself. 

So typical for that guy. 

“Oh come on, Ryan. We’re just joking.” 

“Yeah, man. Chill.” 

“He can’t chill, though.” 

Everyone at the table looked up at him. The dramatic pause worked as a charm. 

If you can’t fight them, join them. 

“It gives him flashbacks.” Jacob said with a toothy smile, enjoying how Ryan’s hold on the fork tightened up as if on reflex. “Does he put you over his knee, when you’re being a bad boy, Ryan?” 

“Har-har.” Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Very funny, Jacob.” 

“What, I am just asking, man.” Jacob replied back, a smile still present on his face. “I mean, do you call him daddy? Or pappi? You look like you’d be into that!” 

Ryan’s eyes narrowed. “Are you done yet?” 

Jacob pretended to think. “Yeeeah, no wait. Wait. One last thing. Daddy Hackett.” 

This managed to send both Nick and Dylan into an absolute frenzy, they were openly laughing now, creating all kinds of rackets around the table. The other counselors and kids were glancing their way. But Jacob’s own attention was focused on Mister-Bitch-Resting-Face. He wouldn’t miss it for the world. The rare chance to see, Ryan actually losing even an inch of his cool. 

“So which one is it? You can tell us, we won’t judge!” 

“You really hang up on it, aren’t you?” 

“I don’t know.” Jacob shrugged. “What’s your favorite pose, by the way? Doggy style?” 

This finally hit the nail. Ryan’s breath hitched. His posture went rigid. And while one might mistake it for a sign of repressed anger, Jacob noticed how jerked his throat, and how quickly he went from tense to huddled, and oddly pissy, but in a very passive-aggressive way. 

Jacob had irked him for real this time. And he wasn’t about to stop. Fuck no. Why should he? Mister H’s personal Golden Boy deserved to be knocked down a peg. 

“Nothing to say for yourself, Erzahler?” 

He was anticipating his response. He waited for some sort of comeback or maybe, even something being thrown into his face. But in a second, all the pent-up energy seemingly left Ryan’s body, and his expression went back to being placid and bored. 

“Fuck off.” Ryan muttered, looking away. Defeated. 

“Awww…” Jacob coed. “Poor Ryan had –” 

“Hey, what’s going on over there?” 

Ahhh, fuck. 

He cringed, and turned over his shoulder to reassure Mister H, who was now glaring at them like a hawk. Sometimes, Jacob forgot that he was there during the morning hours too. “Nothing! It’s nothing!” 

“Nothing?” the older man’s face told him, that he wasn’t buying into Jacob’s bullshit. “It doesn’t look like nothing to me. What’s so funny, anyways?” 

“Ahh, it’s – no, really! That’s ahhh – that’s nothing, really!” Jacob waved his hand, hoping that it would pacify the other, and make the crowd stop eyeing him. Even Em was staring at him, slightly raising her brow. “This is just –” 

“Yeah, it’s nothing, Mister H.” 

Jacob paused, side-glancing at Ryan, genuinely taken aback. Not expecting him to come to Jacob’s aid, out of all people. But then, he noticed how there was a hint of light smirk on Ryan’s lips, and he immediately knew that it wasn’t anything good. Ryan might have told his jokes with a straight face, making people wonder if it was a joke at all. But he could deliver the punchline, if he really wanted to. 

“He just can’t count past forty five.” 

Some people started to laugh. Nick and Dylan laughed at this as well, not caring who was the target of their shared finger-poking. They seemed to love taking piss at everyone, really. 

“That’s –” Jacob felt his face flush with embarrassment. “That’s not true!” 

“Yeah, he slowly gets over forty six, though.” Ryan added, looking straight at him. “It’s very challenging.” 

“Fuck you!” Jacob quietly hissed, kicking Ryan into the shin under the table. Something had flashed through the other teen’s face then, and he kicked him right back. Jacob barely managed to bite back a painted groan. Ryan’s boots had a pretty heavy sole. “Ow, why you…” 

“Hope, that you like it.” 

“What?” Jacob raised his eyes and met that unbanished expression directly, and damn, he wanted to fucking throttle that prick. 

“Hey! HEY!” Mister H called out, getting up from his own seat. “Don’t make me go there, Custos!”

“What!?” he blinked, taken aback by such plain side-picking. “What did I do? Ryan is –” 

“I told you to knock it off, pal.” the older man warned him, tone serious and expression even more hardened. “I’m not jokin’ with ya. Don’t start something, that ya can't finish.” 

“But I –” 

“Calm yourself down. Now.” Mister H told him, like one would a disobedient dog and it was pretty much over, after that. At this point, it was pretty useless to try and defend himself, so he just sank back into his seat, throwing Ryan a dirty look. The other kid just scoffed at him, drawing his legs closer to the bench, and going back to straight up ignoring him. 

Fucking asshole. 

Mister H never got angry at Ryan. As if he was automatically blameless, and never guilty of anything. It got under Jacob’s skin at times. Just how easy it was for Ryan to mislead people with his quiet and usually non-conflicting persona. It’s like they literally believed, that he was any better, than an average man of their age. When he wasn’t. 

At least, Jacob wasn’t buying into that shit. There was just something very off about Ryan. Something, that made it hard to like him, but very easy to want to mess with him. He could never understand why Kaitlyn kind of liked the creep, when he didn’t even looked her way. 

But eventually, it all was sort of forgotten and Jacob went back to focusing on more important tasks such as getting Em see a real dating material in him. It was more urgent, than focusing on Ryan and how he got it all so ever easy. Besides, this plan might just work. 

Jacob felt good about this one. Real good. 

It should work out just fiiine. 

=====

It didn’t work out fine. Half-way through, he had already started suspecting that something was off. Nick and Dylan told him, that they had told Em, that Jacob told them to ask her if she would like to accompany him tonight. And then, as a final piece of their strange story, they told him, that she said yes. 

Dumbly and blindly, he had trusted their word. He went to the spot, where he was supposed to meet Emma. But it was becoming less and less likely, that she’d come. They said, that Em wanted to meet him on the Island, in the evening, when most of the counselors and campers will be getting ready for the night. But Jacob was yet to find any sign of her. Was she running later or…? 

Annoyed, he looked around, finding nothing, but well, the old boathouse. Nothing out of the ordinary. And Em was nowhere to be seen. 

Part of him suspected, that it might be a ruse. It won’t be the first time, when Nick and Dylan would use his affection for Emma to make a fool out of him. And it most likely won’t be the last. They still had a few weeks of summer left. 

Jacob re-adjusted his cap, looking up at the darkening sky. 

“Ahh, damn it…” 

The time was really running out for him, wasn’t it? 

But – 

But maybe, she was simply being fashionably late. Girls love to do this kind of thing. 

Not knowing if this all was for real or not, if Emma was still coming or not, he decided to wait it out in the boathouse. He might as well, see if she would be heading here from the higher point of the Island, rather than sulking on the bridge. 

“Okay, Jacob. Gotta wait for her a bit longer, I guess.” he told himself, filling the silence with his own voice, just to not let the anxiety take over. Perhaps, he still can get it going for him. 

Or maybe, not. 

Maybe, not today. 

He wasn’t sure how long he waited. One hour for sure, maybe more, but he nearly jumped off the second floor, when he saw a boat coming closer to an Island. Finally, she was –

But it wasn’t Emily. 

It was Mister H and…what the hell? Was it Ryan? 

They seem to not notice him too busy talking with one another. Jacob had no idea what they were discussing, he could only hear their muted voices, and see Mister Hackett nearly scrambling to get on the sandy surface, like he wanted nothing more, than to put a distance between himself and the water. 

Meanwhile, Ryan was tying the boat to the bridge pole, eyes downcast and mouth still running about whatever. As soon as he was done, he joined Chris and they walked towards –

Oh fuck. They were walking here. 

Jacob leapt away from the wooden border, heart beating loudly inside his ears. What should he do? None of the counselors were allowed to come here, after the camping activities were done with. And it was getting closer and closer toward nighttime. He would get in trouble for this! 

He couldn’t let them see him! 

The voices were getting louder and he could hear their footsteps making the old wood creak. They were fucking going up here! Damn! Damn it! 

Frantically, Jacob swiped his head around, attempting to pick a place to hide. 

Come on! Come on! 

“T-there!” he muttered to himself, feeling like he still could avoid getting caught. 

Quickly, he rushed toward one of the tables, crawling underneath it, right to the point, where there were too many chairs for them to hopefully notice him. He could hide behind them for the time being. And it wasn’t like it was actually all that bright anymore either. 

The sun was about to set in an hour or two, so maybe –

“I can’t believe, that he said it.” 

This was unmistakably Mister H’s voice. 

“He did.” 

And this low drawl was clearly Ryan. But what the fuck Ryan was even going here, and with their boss? So late too? How come that rules didn’t apply to him as well? 

Jacob could barely process what this situation even was, but he didn’t have all that much time to dwell on it. His breath came short, when both men walked through the doorway. Mister Hackett was holding a pack of…beer? And Ryan was dragging after him, seemingly familiar with this ‘routine’, like they did it before. 

And what the hell was this all about? Did Chris allow Ryan to drink at work? 

While Jacob was still somewhat shocked with this development, Ryan settled on one of the tables, putting his boot on the nearest chair, rocking it. The older man placed the beer pack right next to his hip, pausing like he had noticed something out of order. 

“And then, it’s –”

“Wait a second, bud.” 

Jacob watched in horror how Mister H took a step back from the table, and slowly rounded the room with his stare. The look inside his irises was oddly intense, not the kind that he ever saw the man having. Then, weirdly enough, Mister H’s nose twitched, like he was sniffing air. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“Ah, no…” Chris narrowed his eyes, looking from one side to another. “No, it’s just — oh, here it is.” 

He slowly stalked closer to the place, where Jacob was hiding and for a second, he thought that he was found out. But Chris reached for something, that was on the table, instead of looking underneath it. 

“Ah-ha.” judging by the sound, the olderman shook the object in his hand, before throwing it to Ryan, who caught it with ease. A bottle opener.  “I knew, that it was around here somewhere.” 

“You always forget stuff.” Ryan told him in an even voice, opening one of the bottles and hissing, when some of the foam dripped past the glass, and all over his fingers. 

“Not always.” Mister H responded, returning to his previous spot. 

“You forgot the password to your own safe the other week.” 

“It’s because I’ve changed it.” Chris chuckled at his own statement, rubbing the back of his neck as if embarrassed. “And yeah, you’ve right, I pretty much forgot, that I’ve changed it afterwards.” 

“It’s all because of the beer.” Ryan tilted his head a bit to the side, allowing Chris to take the bottle away from him. 

“Oh yeah?” the older man took a large sip, while Ryan stared at him. “Think so, mm?” 

“Yeah. It’s like – uhh –” he bit down on his lip, thinking about the word. “The Devil’s brew.” 

“The Devil’s brew?” Chris licked his lips, giving Ryan a crinky, cheery look. “I heard it somewhere before.” 

Ryan shrugs. “My grandma calls it that. And she’s like a hundred years old.” 

“Are you calling me old again?” Chris quirked a brow up. “Think, that only the old people know what it is?” 

“Not what I’ve said.” 

Ryan suddenly reached his hand, wrapping his fingers around Chris’s and tilting the bottle toward himself, taking a large gulp, that resulted in him starting coughing. It must have hit the wrong place inside his throat. Chris sighed and lightly patted him on the back, not even scolding him for such sort of behavior. 

Jacob frowned. Still confused. 

So, was Ryan allowed to drink for real, then? 

“Sh-shit…” 

“Ah, Ryan.” Mister H mumbled. “Don’t hurry. Drink in small gulps, yeah?” 

“Yeah, y-yeah, I – I know, it’s just –” Ryan wiped his mouth, right afterwards grabbing Chris’s uniform and tugging him a bit closer. “I kind of…uhh. I kind of tired of waiting.” 

“Ohhh…I see.” Chris drew out, understanding something, that Jacob didn’t. “How cruel of me to deny you this, mm? Want to get it on now already, champ?” 

Slowly, Ryan nodded, still gripping the lapel of Chris’s shirt. Still staring him dead in the eyes. And if Jacob didn’t know any better, he’d thought, that they were about to make out with one another. But –

No. 

Now, that would have been fucking weird, if they did. Like as if every lewd joke, that he and the boys made about Ryan and Mister H had suddenly turned out to be true. 

“I’m better start, before ya'll get all impatient, then.” Chris said, voice getting lower, deeper. “You’re ready for it, right?” 

Another nod. 

“Y-yeah.” 

Chris’s hands brushed the back of Ryan’s neck. “Good.” 

Behind the bunch of chairs, crumpled in tiny space, Jacob took it all in. There was a lot of familiarity between them. And it’s not like no one had ever noticed it before. It was enough to just look at them interacting, really. But it felt so much more casual now, somehow. Like Ryan and Chris were hanging out like this all the time. 

It felt so weird to see it happening without them knowing, that he was there. But his brain had only truly zeroed out, went completely blank, when Mister H took a hold of Ryan’s chin, in a gesture so sure and confident, like it was done time after time, and pressed their mouths together. 

Jacob’s own mouth involuntarily hung open, as he stared and stared, as if it would disappear or he would wake up. But it did not. And he didn’t wake up with a gasp. Instead, it was Ryan, who gasped into the older man’s lips, slightly aching into Chris’s other hand, when it crawled up his leg, right under his undershirt. 

And holy moly, it got intense pretty fast from there. Jacob wasn’t expecting them to just go for it, like that. Not that he expected them to go for it at all. But the kiss turned from somewhat slow into a dirty one, and he couldn’t foresee Ryan even knowing how to kiss, but he clearly knew what he was doing. Moving his jaw and grabbing Chris’s arm, trembling fingers pressing into his tattoo, sliding against heated skin while the older man sucked all the air out of his lungs. 

It was as if he attempted to choke him with the kiss alone. 

And Ryan was clearly into it too. Into not able to breath, aside from panicked, fastered inhales and exhales through his nose. It wasn’t the first time, when they did it, clearly. So how many times…? No, wait. Why does he even think about that!? 

It was so odd and wrong, but also, he probably shouldn’t be all that shocked, considering that Ryan never hid his apparent boner for Mister H. And speaking of boners, Jesus…

It didn’t take Mister H long to just slam his hips between Ryan’s spread legs, and lightly rub against him, while they were making out. Ryan seemed pleased, eager even. 

And this was weird too. Jacob could never imagine Chris as someone, who was this straightforward and latently aggressive. Sure, the guy had a bit of a temper at times, but usually, Mister H was pretty tame and somewhat polite. For him to just eat face with one of his counsellors like that? 

What was going on?

“Mhh!” 

Ryan made another noise, twitching against Chris and sort of attempting to reach for his belt, but his hand was stopped half-way. Mister H just kept it there against his hip, not allowing it to go any further, sort of jamming it against his growing erection. And yeah, Jacob could see it from his place, thank you very much. 

“C-come on…” Ryan rasped, when they separated after what seemed like an hour. “I need t-to –” 

He took a deep breath, still unable to recover, while Chris only smiled at him. It wasn't an unkind smile either. It was pretty warm and found, but also knowing and vexed. 

“You’re really inpatient today, buster.” Chris noted. “Can’t hold it back?” 

“Y-yeah…” Ryan sucked in another shaky breath, and nodded, watching Chris through half-lidded eyes. “I just really want you to…uh…y’know to uh…” 

“To fuck ya silly?” Chris asked, and it was so bizzare hearing him saying something like that. For a moment Jacob honestly thought, that he was asleep and it wasn’t for real. But then it got worse, “Raw you up for good, eh?” 

Ryan’s face flushed, and he slightly turned his head away, but Chris wrenched it back, using a grip on his jaw. His other hand relaxed his hold around Ryan’s wrist, and snaked back under the younger man’s shirt. He was in less hurry now, as if merely wishing to prolong this torture for everyone inside the room. 

“Wanna get all handsy with me, Ryan?” 

“Chris –!” 

Ryan couldn’t quite double-over, pretty much stuck with Mister H keeping him in place by his body and hands, and table not letting him go anywhere else. For a moment, Jacob wondered how Ryan could stand this much body contact and heat, but at the same time still long for more. 

Jacob got dirty with at least four girls in his lifetime, and neither of them looked so willing and eager to push even further, to be even closer, than this. 

But Ryan did. His whole body shivered, either from whatever Chris did under his shirt or maybe, because he wasn’t allowed to go any further than this just yet. It must have driven a guy nuts. It would have driven Jacob nuts for sure. 

“I, I –” 

“Ryan.” it wasn’t even addressed to him, but Jacob felt his guts twisting with uncomfortable heat. “Ryan…” 

Jacob has no idea how Chris could sex up that prick’s name like this, but there was a lot of emotion behind it. Warm and lingering, earning like a need, that could find no release. 

“C-can I –” Ryan swallowed. “Can I…now?” 

“No.” Chris shook his head, watching Ryan’s expression crumble a bit. “You have to wait a bit longer.” 

It seemed like Ryan was about to disagree, but instead his face went back to being unreadable, as he peered back at Chris. His fingers curled around the bulge in the older man’s pants, forcing him to let out a sigh as if in praise. 

“Ryan –”

“Y-you started it first.” 

Chris snorted, caressing Ryan’s jaw, pressing one finger near the corner of his mouth. “Cheeky, are ya?” 

Ryan gave him a faint half-smile, hooking one of his legs around Mister H’s hip. “I’m twenty.” 

“I know, bud.” Chris muttered, mouth hoovering near Ryan’s, as if in a promise of a kiss. “I know.” 

Helpless to do much, but continue watching them, Jacob couldn’t prevent himself from getting a bit reflective. They really stared at one another a lot, while they were at it, he noticed. And it was pretty much the opposite of how it went down between Jacob and Emma. She would rather keep her eyes closed and then, just shrug off his advances, like it meant nothing. 

It’s just summer fun, she told him with that cute smile and light pitch of her brows, and – 

It was kind of humiliating, that the guy, who he kind of hated, certainly got a better game, than he did. Mister H took Ryan to the woods at times, where they were supposedly hiking together, but now, Jacob wondered if this, - this right here - was what they were really doing in the forest. 

Was Mister H raw doggying Ryan in the open? Right in the woods? Just a couple of miles away from the camp? 

He seemingly had no problem banging him here. So yeah, probably. 

It still barely made any sense inside his head, it was buzzing and buzzing to no end. Was he really seeing it? Them together? There must be something with his brain or…?

Ryan let out a keen. 

And this was the loudest and the most emotional noise, that he ever heard him making. 

Involuntary, Jacob backed away further into the wall, blinking rapidly. Chris’s hand was twisting Ryan’s nipple under his shirt, if he had to guess. Ryan was openly panting, as Chris pushed his big finger into his mouth, watching him grow even redder in the face. 

And yeah, okay maybe there was an appeal to it. Even Jacob had to admit, that the creepy asshole did look kind of nice like this. When he wasn’t all arrogant and gloomy, carrying that large stick up his ass. Instead, remaining pinned and manhandled. And quite, save from needy voices. 

[wigglebox]

Hi! I always wanted to ask, even if its a silly thing, but I never saw an artist with your style and I think its really cute that your dean and cas have such bitable noses (they just look so fluffy). Where did it came the idea to make them like that?

hi!!!

lmao omg biteable noses i haven't heard that one awlefjawlkejaw i love it so much. why boop when you can boop with your teefs!

so i waited to answer this until i was back on my computer to basically say: idk!

but the longer answer is i was always interested in making the nose the focal point of the face. all my art style journeys always made sure i would put the nose for you to see it and always make it red lol.

i haven't drawn in a few years, about 3 years, until last fall and i wasn't happy with my style anymore. it felt too morose when i was just wanting to feel happy because the world around me is just meh and blegh every day, my job is stressful, and i wanted something to just keep me happy.

this was my art 3 years ago

and i liked this style -- but it was also limiting for me bc it just always made me feel less vibrant and just more quiet and a little sad

but over the last 7 years these were styles i would do for a drawing or two every so often while i was still trying to figure my style out until i arrived at ^ 

I think this one is the closest one i can get to now 

but there were other attempts:

i thought it was a limiting style though because they don’t have a fully drawn eye and the noses kind of reminded me of a newspaper comic strip i used to see growing up falled Funky Winkerbean. I don’t know why -- their noses definetly aren’t like this -- but whatever pfft. 

But I still found the lack of eyes limiting, and that these were too cutesy, but also i couldn’t figure out how to make it constantly work so i just abandoned it and went back to my normal stuff. 

like i said, i hadn’t drawn for a few years but last october, i was feeling frustrated not being able to find the proper motivation to do winchester-relod’s Suptober challenge so i doodled this dude [by now i didn’t have my tablet and so any time i sporadically drew since 2018 i just drew on my phone]

and then idk people thought he looked cute?

and then i drew this a few days later:

with these tags: idk I am feeling squishy and gooesy this Saturday and want a hug, Jennifer why are you drawing big noses, because I have no idea bht it’s fun

lol

and i guess it just kept going from there? people thought it looked cute, and i thought it was warm and happy and it made me happy to draw it. 

obviously looking at the art even from 9 months ago the style has changed as i figured out what i wanted to do with it [and invested in a little ipad to draw on instead of drawing with my finger on my phone lol]:

So Idk really! 

I think I am sticking with this for now [sometines doing a slightly ‘normalized nose’ from time to time] because 1) y’all encourage me with your very kind words 2) it makes ME feel good to draw them like this -- like idk i never am like UGH with a drawing 3) it’s just fun! 

really it’s one of those things where for the longest time i’ve been trying to take inspiration from so many styles around me because I just didn’t know how to define myself as an artist, and then i just wasn’t drawing as much anymore once i DID settle on style from a few years ago -- to now just wanting to smile any time i’m creating something so if it makes me smile, my goal is to make others smile lol. 

a driving factor for finding my style before was like ‘how do i make this edgy and emo if i wanted to?’ because at the time i was still experiences lows. 

and now, i still experience lows [spoons, mental health, yadda yadda] but instead of drawing the sadness out, i wanted to draw something that’d bring the smile back at least in my mind lol. 

and nothing makes me happier than smacking my hand into my ipad trying to honk their noses and then hearing messages from others [like yourself] who find the noses cute as well! 

[blonkk]

i get so emotionally turbulent in the airport. maybe it’s because i’m always going off 2 hours of sleep and it takes me 2 hours to drive to the airport and i always book 6am flights and i always drink the night before. anyways i read this reddit post where this kids stepdad always financially provides fairly for him and his bio kids but excludes the stepson from special trips etc. he told the stepson it’s bc those are his bio kids and he wants to spend time with them and show them they mean more to him by virtue of being blood etc. he raised the stepson since he was one and shows preferential treatment to his bio kids, one of whom is the stepsons half sister. so the stepson responded by calling him by his first name rather than “dad” and stepdad got upset and hurt…anyways that story made me cry. idk i guess maybe it’s “natural” to other a kid who’s not “yours” biologically but jesus christ. you can’t treat a kid that way, exclude them, let them know they are less loved….irresponsible and cruel imo, no matter how you truly feel….

so there’s that. and then i saw this old dude handing presumably his wife a box of timbits and i got all gushy. and this older couple across from me is so cute the lady is just resting on her man’s chest and he’s just sitting there doing his thang. idk man i’m probably pmsing. i also have been reflecting on my loneliness and it’s imminent return LOL all my friends are leaving where i live soon and i’ll be alone..but i guess that’s my lot in life? that’s the way it is. there’s a lot of people i really love and appreciate even if they’re not the ideal friends/what have you. one being my roommate, a 50yo dude who does nothing but drink beer and smoke weed and talks about missing his daughter who he goes to see like once a year. i don’t agree with that aspect of his life (go see your KID instead of buying a new dirt bike !!) but man i have a lot of affection for him. he’s very generous and caring and kind and he channels his misplaced fatherly energy towards myself and the other younger workers on the mountain. i genuinely get along with him, and when he was with his daughter over the weekend i missed him…like i would get home and be like damn drew’s not here :/ and literally all we do is yap after-work style and sometimes watch shows. but idk he’s my favourite roommate this far which is crazy. idk it’s weird you never know who the people who actually make a difference in your life will be; it would have been so easy to write him off had i not bothered getting to know him. he’s a redneck, a sort of absent dad (he pays child support and knows everything ab her and supports her hobbies . he loves his daughter but. he’s gotta try harder to see her despite her living a few hours away) , he smokes cigs like a fiend, drinks beer like water, he passes out on the couch every single night of his life to dirt bike videos/sasquatch stories/random singing shows, is a typical tradesman. like it would be natural for me to judge his character based on those things. he’s actually one of the people who consistently takes my side when feminism comes up and always tells the other dudes “she’s right” etc. idk i just really am thankful to live somewhere where i’m comfortable with someone lol

& the other people i’ve met within the last year of my life have made me a better person and a happier person. somehow i really recovered a lot in the shithole where i live. dead end job, unfamiliar types of people , weird isolation. a lot of the shame i’ve carried my whole life has dissipated. i’ve been more myself than any other time in my life; and i don’t fear people’s rejection if i say what i truly believe or feel. sometimes there’s disagreements and some arguing, but it never ends badly, and weirdly i know i have peoples respect, even if they don’t agree with me or understand me. that’s what the key is i think — all my life with my family i’ve feared their rejection, their scrutiny, and their wrath. i’ve been scared to lose their love and respect because i was constantly threatened with it, and i experienced it countless times. the things the members of my immediate family have said to me, the things they’ve called me, the ways they’ve rejected me and punished me for being who i am has really damaged me and i always lived with it, bringing it into other relationships and friendships, not understanding that it was impacting literally every aspect of my life; how i interact with people being the main thing. it’s impacted my self esteem to such a degree with i could never make genuine friends and connections because i always went along with what other people said so they wouldn’t punish me. i let people treat me like dogshit because it’s what i was used to and what i thought love/acceptance costed. it even affected how i performed at work and what type of work i’ve tried to succeed at as an adult. it’s why i’m so lost and messed up and rootless. it’s why i have no idea what i want, and why for so many years i had no idea who i was.

for the first time in my life i feel accepted , if not loved. it’s enough to make me extremely emotional. it’s enough to make me happy because i could literally never imagine feeling so safe in my life. i love my parents and family but my god. what they’ve done to me can’t be reversed, though some things are beginning to repair

also i’m listening to the divorced dad playlist on spotify and it’s hitting. live laugh love!!!!

[itspeeko]

Today I learned that a lot of Gym Leaders and Elite Four members have lore that I never knew about

Specifically I looked up the Dark-type ones for Terry-related reasons

So first off Grimsley (Elite Four member of Unova) was raised in a previously wealthy family with a good name which had fallen into squalor by the time he was born (which reminds me a bit of the Tethras and Montilyet families from Dragon Age). The situation was apparently so dire that Grimsley even as a child felt the pressure and was motivated to gamble on Pokemon battles. This is what drew him to the Dark type, as the Dark type’s strategies are as close as he can come to cheating. His habits took a toll on him and he became addicted to gambling. His lines reveal that although he is aware of the “good and bad ways” to win or lose, he has difficulty controlling and gauging his own emotional response. He later showed up in Alola as an ex-Elite Four member, having obtained white streaks in his hair and bags under his eyes, as well as a visibly worse reaction to losing battles; obviously the implication here is that he was sent to Alola to focus on his mental health. SO THAT’S A LOT OF CANON BAGGAGE FOR A POKEMON CHARACTER?

Johto Elite Four member Karen, in contrast, encourages challengers to focus on the Pokemon they like, rather than the Pokemon they think are strong. She mentions that although she likes that Dark types are powerful, power isn’t everything.

And then there is Elite Four member Sidney from Hoenn (boy there is a lot of Elite Four members?) who is shown to be pretty friendly but somewhat shallow? He boasts about his bling and connections, and the reason he has an Absol is that 1. it beat his whole party single-handedly and 2. he likes being around and escaping disasters because it gives him an adrenaline rush? This guy is kinda a himbo idk. One of Terry’s defining moments of his career life is getting to meet with Sharpedo up close and by pure luck this dude definitely seems like the type of guy who would keep a whole bunch of Sharpedo to just like swim with. He probably hosts Sharpedo Week in fact

Surprisingly there isn’t much I didn’t already know about concerning Marnie and Piers... They both seemed like fleshed out characters, but if there’s more lore I haven’t seen it. They don’t really discuss the Dark type much in-game, they’re mostly concerned about Gigantamaxing. A little disappointing

And lastly, Nanu, Island Kahuna, who on impulse I liked; but who turned out to be a cop so then I didn’t like him; but then he turned out to have been demoted from International Police to a chief on an island that doesn’t even have a force, and he has an actual moral compass so I maybe like him again?? He lets Team Skull do what they want so long as they stay in Po Town and he objected to the plan of using human bait to draw out Ultra Beasts, so that’s baseline decency. Also called the IP “terrible,” and Looker wasn’t very friendly towards him. (On the other hand, he constantly talks about how he slacks off, much like Sans Undertale, but that isn’t a fantastic look when you are a cop. Nothing is really a fantastic look when you are a cop tho. Is there a reason he can’t quit?? He is constantly complaining...) But whatver, here’s his take on Dark type Pokemon: “You know the Pokémon Honchkrow and Krookodile? They've got some scary looking mugs, but you wouldn't think so if you saw them smile. You can never know anything about a person or a Pokémon just from a glance. When you have a chance, take a good look at those around you.”

[ritacaroline]

A New Series

By Ritacaroline

Quips n Blips to Ponder

Episode 3

Dial and Confess

The case of John A.

Phone ringing,

Hello. You've reached the Sunday version of 1 800 Dial and Confess. Please listen to the following options as our menu has changed.

To continue :

Press one (1)

if you wish to make a confession about yourself today.

Press two (2)

if you plan on throwing one of your neighbors under the bus.

Press three (3)

if you're a dirty slut. Then, we'll quickly call Father Larry, since he loves hearing about that stuff.

J : Hello ?

Father Larry : ( he's been called in especially for you, to hear your confession. Your kinda sins are his faves. )

Fr L : yes, my son. How can we help you this morning ?

J : My name is John. And I'm going to need to confess. I've been naughty.

Fr. : yes my son. Proceed with sin #1.

J : Bless me father for I have sinned. It's been 2 weeks since my last confession.

Uhm, well I met this chick on a website. And she's a Zep hoe. That was what first drew me in. And she reminded me of a tv character I like, from her supposed picture. ( who really knows ? She could very well be a 92 yr old horny Native American gay man, looking for love. Posing as a 60 yr old woman from CT. ) (And the joke's on me. Who knows, for real. ) She did once at least send me a bag of crappy take out food when I was so hungry I was about to eat a flip flop w cheese melted on top. So whoever it is - I decided to chat w her when I was down n out lonely. She really isn't my cup of tea. Ya know. Kinda bossy. But - wtf ? The woman I really love isn't available r n. She's away. So - wtf. But - I digress. Anyhow ...

Fr : uh huh, uh huh. I feel ya, man. Been there, done that. Usually those type of things ( website things ) don't amount to shit. My advice so far : Save yourself some time. Ghost her. Read me ? Leads to nothing but wasted time. You'll definitely end up hating her.

J : anyway, this chick is married.

Fr : sorry to interfere again - but damn. Wtf ? Why bother or get involved in that ? You're fighting a losing battle. Can you send me her # ?

J: again dude, IDK. She claims she has a pair of Ds. If you get my drift. And I'm waiting to see if I can get a view of those juicy morsels so that I can, ya know. Study em and view em daily, for science, ya know. While I, ya know. Polish the old silver. Slather up the old sea monster. While holding the photo up w one hand. Know what I mean ? Cuz, you get it... right ?

Fr : yes, because you only have one hand available bc the other one is extremely busy....Yeah, I get it.

J : ok. So one night - this crazy chick, who btw, thinks I like her ( dumbass ), we were talking by text. And things were starting to get a little hot n out of control. And she seemed to be into me pretty good that night. And even admitted she had wet underwear over me. Should I have believed that ?

Fr : yes, yes. More, more, more. I'm liking where this is going. ( J hears the bench creaking every second on the other end of the phone, over n over, along w heavy uneven breathing)

J : well anyway - I got this effin brilliant brilliant idea ! Snap a kwik photo of my enlarged beast, the old anaconda, ya know, standing tall like a soldier and surprise her with the pic, ya know. Make her think she won the lottery.

Fr : uh huh, uh huh. I see. And what was her reaction, my son ? And btw, this sounds like our client Cat. You're not referring to her, are ya ???

J : quiets down for a little while. Then :

Well, in regard to the pic - she was quiet at first. Guess she didn't expect to see the beast, right in her face. She seemed startled. But she got used to it, I think. They all do. They LOVE the old sea monster. All the ladies do. I'm a virtual chick magnet. And I'm the only guy around here who's got one of these. And damn, he's special.

So, you know. She may be sweet, or just a dirty slut, I can't decide which. But ... she said I'm beautiful. Gave it a 9.8. So who's sorry now ? Who's sorry now.

Fr : ( wiping sweat off his brow) please don't forget to drop those afore mentioned photos into the lockbox. It's for scientific research only, remember.

J : yes yes. I sure will. And I'll also include a copy of a cd of me playing selections on the bass. I'm quite good you know. ( hurts arm badly by trying to pat his own back. )

Fr : yeah, ok, under his breath - he says : yeah, who cares.

But my son, John. Please don't forget those photos and placing them into the lockbox. And by the way, has this woman sent you any under the skirt photos for YOUR enjoyment ? I'd like to see those as well. For science. Here at 1 800, we love a big juicy ass. Got any of those laying about ? Ya know. Been a long time since I've seen a real vagina. Are you sure she has one ???

J : IDK actually. But I'm certainly hoping for one. And I predict I'm gonna find out. But I've been w so many women in my life, it's not really even any big deal to me anymore. You seen one you seen em all. And I've seen plenty. Do you know my nickname is the great white...

Fr : ok ok. Get over yourself, guy. Ok. Good luck w that, you little perv. And are you sorry for your sins my son ?

J : uhh, not really. I just thought confessing would make me feel better. Clear my conscience. I don't want to be a home wrecker ya know. But I'd sure like a little action from this tv show actor look alike. She be cute.

Fr : uh huh, uh huh. If you do get some under the skirt photos please feel welcome to shoot back over here n drop em into the Ol lockbox. Ya know, because Father has been good to you. And it's super nice to share.

J : ok well. I'll see. She's acting kinda shy. Very non-generous with the panty pics and the tit pics. But I keep asking, just the same tho, you know me. Tryin to guilt her into it. She's very sensitive so.. you know, she takes my unhappiness rather seriously. So I been laying it on thick. You know me. She'll cave. Any day now. I got her attention, but good. She's very sensitive and can be vulnerable. So I got a shot at getting her to do anything I want. You know me.

Fr : I'm starting to. For your penance my son, please go out into your community and share some of them dick pics and other various smut to the homeless and to the sexually deprived among us. The Lord thanks you for your efforts.

Now, my son, go out into the world and serve the Lord. And please - spend some of your time helping the homeless and the less fortunate of society. Do something useful with your time ok ?

Also please try our menu item #10. It's perfect for you.

Over n out

The names and identity of the characters in this story have been changed to protect the innocent. We mean the guilty. Although the actual story is true. We hope you learn from the lessons taught here.

This story is a variation of what has truly taken place. And most rude insults were not meant to hurt anyone. But were adjusted for entertainment's sake and to make you laugh. And were not at all intended to offend any of our readers. So go grab a Ben and Jerry's and have a smoke. And relax. Do not be angry with the lovely woman who has written the above trash. Do not. She meant no harm, I promise you.

Just trying to make you laugh.

[mikeys-magic-graveyard]

What pets would the cast of TR and FMA have?

What pets would the TR cast have?

This seems like a fun asf one! Also ima expand just a lil more on a few :) i think i also might do demon slayer bc theres no requests for it :( link to FMA ver || link to demon slayer ver

Please note i havent read the manga so ill take a shot at a few characters who i think I understand their personalities but if im wrong dont @ me

Mikey

This bitch totally has a ferret named sherlock stinky. Fight me. He makes sure to take extra special care of him, because he was a surprise from shinichiro before, yk- :(

Draken

He owns a snake, 100% and a fucking HUGE one at that. (Its a hefty burmie) It freaks emma and takemichi the fuck out. lowkey mikey too. (Takemichi cried ofc)

While working on his bike he just lets it chill out on the bike/around his neck. He also probably has a beardie and has looked into crocodiles (hes a sucker for reptiles and honestly me too man) draken be like

Takemichi

He has a hamster and a few zebra tetras. He cant handle much more the that. Also this poor sucker cannot keep a hamster alive, he will treat it with the utmost care and love and its still gonna die in abt a month or two

Mitsuya

Hes also probably a snake dude. Actually was the one who recommended the dude draken got his snake from. He prefers a smaller snake though. He has two, a green tree python and a lavender coloured corn snake. In winter he makes them lil sweaters, he will make one for drakens snake too, even if its a bit of work, yk? He also probably has one of those really pretty fish tanks that him and his sisters set up 🥺🥺 (maybe sum like this? 👇)

Baji

He would have a cat 100% he probably brings all sorts of animals home, not just cats. The list so far is 2 birds, a squirrel, a dog, 2 cats, a salamander, a rabbit, ALMOST a chicken from a petting zoo, a decent amount of toads, and tadpoles i have brought all of these home and more he also is the one his mom calls when she sees a mouse, she never lets him keep it :(

Chifuyu

Cats, cats, cats. He also helps baji catch random animals. Idk what else to say abt him 😭😭

Kazutora

Once again, cats. He has considered some sort of rodent but decided against it, later on he got a cockatiel. He also has a few catfish :)

Kawata twins

They probably have to share a pet and fought over what to get. Smiley wanted a ferret and Angry wanted a mouse

In the end they ended up with a turtle.

They love him to death but still bicker over what rodent they should’ve gotten instead

Im sure they also own a few little fish, they seem like they’d go for something a lil more basic

Souya wanted a betta, nahoya wanted a goldfish therefore staring up the sibling rivalry again

Souya drew the short straw so they ended up with an oranda goldfish nahoya named “nerd”

Haitani brothers

These fuckers have pet tarantulas. These assholes love scaring people with them

ran got sanzu by surprise once and made him scream like a little girl

Ran has a mexican red knee and will sometimes take her with him to do shit, she normally poses no issues (mex red knees r VERY docile and calm)

Rindou opted for a cobalt blue tarantula for his first one, he later on realized his mistake. (Ran totally knew they’re NOT for newbies to arachnid care but said nothing lol)

Rin will sometimes get jealous of his brother for having a pet he can actually handle. Ran just chuckles at him and refuses to share his

Kisaki

He has one of those REALLY fucking annoying and aggressive chihuahuas. He brings it EVERYWHERE and carries it in a dumb little bag

Shall i say more?

Hanma

Somehow, SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE this fucker got his hands on a horse, nobody knows where it came from, why he got a horse, and where tf he keeps it 💀 but he has been spotted with it on multiple occasions. He got himself a black forest horse.

After about 6 months it dissapeared and he got something normal

It was a german sheppard

Sanzu

Ok so i can see sanzu having a nice collection of tropical fish

His prized fish is a platinum arowana, considering the cost and rarity of the mutation.

He also really likes longnose hawkfish

He has one pet octopus that has escaped 3 times now. Hes finally got him in a secure tank.

Idk if im forgetting anyone, its like 5am so forgive me 😭

bonus hc: episode 21/chapter 61 spoilers, small manga spoiler (its the future shit)

In the pet shop after Baji’s death, Chifuyu and Kazutora keep a large, black, longhaired cat around the shop named Kei. He’s a bit of a trouble maker and an asshole to anyone but them and they really believe its baji reincarnated 😭🥺

[apocalypticgargoyle]

Hii!! I was wondering if you can write a dream imagine where like you guys are secretly dating and you sometimes post you and dream holding hands but you never tag him so like people know that you are dating someone but no one really knows who and one day you and the guys were talking and you say something like “oh yeah my boyfriend gave me this this and this” and everyone else is all like omg that’s cute but sapnap is over here like “dude dream literally had that here yesterday” but like sapnap doesn’t say anything to you guys he just tells the rest of the guys that he thinks you guys are dating but has zero evidence so the next few weeks they are just trying to catch you guys and one day when they suspect that dream is cheating (when he was actually like asking your mom for your hand in marriage or something) the boys are all like “dude we caught dream talking with someone else I’m so sorry to tell you this” and like you and dream start laughing so hard bc it was your mom and you guys are like “yeah We’ve been dating for like a year now did we not tell you guys?” Or something like “oh yeah did we not make it obvious?” Idk if it made sense 😭😂

I'm ✍️✍️✍️✍️

𝐌𝐎𝐌'𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄. ♘ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings: one or two swear words

You leaned back in your chair, listening to the conversation unfolding before you. You turned the volume up slightly as Sapnap began to tease you about your gaming techniques. You giggled as others began to weigh in, joking about this and that. George’s voice came in above the others. “Guys shut up, her boyfriend works for Microsoft and can get you banned,” he mocked, making you snort.

The image of Dream trying to figure out how to boil water flashed into your mind. “Yeah, he’s terrifying,” you chided.

Sapnap was the next to pipe up. “You can tell us you don’t have a boyfriend, you know. No one will care.”

“No yeah, I do. He bought me this shirt,” you defended, lifting the hem of your hoodie to show the group of them, earning a chorus of sarcastic cooing. Sapnap’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as if he’d seen it before.

George smugly grinned at you. “Oh, yeah? Does he go to another school?”

You snickered. “Shut up,” you mumbled, the chat switching to a new subject. Little did you know, Sapnap was texting George and the rest of them about his suspicions that this mysterious boyfriend of yours was actually Dream, knowing full well that he’d seen Dream buy that exact shirt a few weeks prior.

You’d been dating him for nearly a year, choosing to blatantly disregard any questions about who he was and vice versa. Most of your photos on Instagram involving him were vague and gave your audience more confusion than understanding. Comments about searching for your OnlyFans to see if they could recognize his voice began to circulate and your friends even fueled that fire.

You weren’t sure what Dream had told Sapnap all those months of secrecy, but somehow it seemed like the t-shirt was the first hint at your relationship. After he’d addressed his suspicions with the rest of your group, it was like a hunt to find out if it really was Dream or if Sapnap was just a few marbles short of sanity from one too many late nights.

In the midst of this wild goose chase, Dream was focused on getting your mom to warm up to him. She was a difficult woman to impress, but he was just as (if not more) stubborn than she was. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him, but he’d rather have her favor him over your past boyfriend and there was one she was determined to prefer over him until the end of time. You often joked about him getting close to you only for him to date your mother, which drove him absolutely sideways.

When she visited, he made dinner for all of you and―after studying for a week prior―discussed various books and authors she loved. It wasn’t until he exhaustedly brought up The Crown that the two of them finally clicked. He’d found her “g-spot,” you’d often tease.

After that, they were practically inseparable and he was the one that took her to lunch and sightseeing when she was in town until you got out of school. It was on one of these visits that Sapnap had spotted the two. She was talking Dream’s ear off about something, touching his arm to articulate her points and mockingly appraising him for opening doors for her without being asked.

At this point, Sapnap and the group were certain the two of you were together, therefore when Dream’s voice picked up on his radar and he saw him schmoozing an older woman, his stomach sank. He watched the two of them for a bit, not seeing much change in the way they communicated, but through the glass of the front of the restaurant, he was shocked that Dream was going behind your back in such a way.

That night the group was rather quiet, only a few mumbles from the others would pitch in as you and Dream basically had a conversation amongst yourselves. “So what’s the news. Why is everyone suddenly so mellow?” You joked, making a few of them chuckle awkwardly.

George cleared his throat. “Uh, we have to tell you something…” he muttered. “Dream’s talking to someone else…”

Your eyebrows perked slightly. “What do you mean?” You queried, Dream sending a silent what into the air.

Sapnap sighed. “I saw him with someone else earlier today. They looked like they were on a date or something…”

Dream laughed into his microphone, wheezing as he went about. “You bitch! I knew you were hooking up with my mom!” You joked, biting back your own giggles. You could hear the physical embodiment of a question mark ricocheting through the chat. “Dream and my mom are absolute besties. I wouldn’t be surprised-”

Dream drew in a sharp breath, his laugh making his voice barely audible as he cut you off. “STOP don’t encourage them!” He bellowed, struggling to breathe through his chuckles.

“What’s Dream doing with your mom?” George asked, tilting his head with a probing expression.

You wet your lips. “Since we’ve started dating, he’s been obsessed with being her favorite,” you jested.

“Since you’ve started dating?” Sapnap repeated to the group as if proving he’d been right the whole time.

Dream sighed, catching his breath. “Yeah, I’m at her place right now,” he spoke. “Hold on, I’ll prove it.” You let out a small chuckle as you heard him set his headphones down, followed by his footsteps thundering up your stairs before he was standing behind you. He briefly pressed his lips against yours in a greeting before leaning toward your microphone and sending a “hello from the otherside” to the group.

He leaned his arm against the back of your chair, you switching on your camera mainly because it was just the group of you. “I thought we were pretty obvious like you guys were just making fun of me because you knew it was him,” you stated.

Sapnap looked over his shoulder slightly as if he were listening for movement in his own home. “Wait, when did you leave?”

Dream scoffed. “I’ve been here all day. I literally woke you up to tell you where I was going.” Sapnap furrowed his brows in disbelief at this.

George was clicking away at his computer. “See, I knew I recognized your hands in the Instagram photos,” he mumbled. “I hate it here.”

You smirked slightly. “That being said, my boyfriend does own your guys’ server so he will ban you if you make fun of me.”

[jujutsu-headcanons]

Gojo Satoru general headcanons

Let's get one thing clear: this man is absolutely chaotic. He is always full of energy. His energy levels never reach below 50%. He is loud and proud, always running, and never takes a minute to relax.

Do not give him Monster. Shoko did that once and it took her forever to get him off the ceiling. Also, avoid caffeine. Shoko replaces his normal coffee with decaf and he still hasn't noticed the difference. Keep it that way.

He was the class clown when he was younger. He wasn't exactly a trouble maker, but he may as well be. I cannot word that sentence and I am sorry. Next.

All of his teachers assumed he never listened in class, so they always called in him when they thought he wasn't paying attention. It still shocked them every time he rattled off the correct answer.

Not only did he answer the question correctly, but he could also explain his reasoning behind the answer, and if it was multiple choice, explain why the other answers were wrong. 

This tall man child would march up to the board and absolutely fill it to the brim with work, turn around, drop the chalk-like a mic drop and walk back to his desk with the smuggest look on his face.

That doesn't mean he did the work tho

Idk how schools in japan work but we all know schools in America only care about the amount of work you do and not what you actually know so we'll use that for the sake of the headcanon: he had straight D's bc he never turned in his work

Despite not doing the work snd goofing off, teachers actually really liked him

A lot of people liked him and he was super popular, but he still felt alone

Fake friends, you know how that works, he didn't meet any real friends until he became a shaman

Clean freak. This dude actually makes his bed. He scrubs his bathroom twice a week. His desk can get cluttered but he straightens up once a week. He's not exactly a germaphobe because

He cannot respect your personal space and that's actually canon but let me take it a step further 

He's a slapper. Especially when he laughs. It doesn't hurt, it's playful dw. He hugs you from behind especially when he's cold. He picks you up and carries you around. He will grab your wrist, arm, or hand and lead you around even if you're following him. He lays his legs across you or lays across your lap. Puts his head on your shoulder. Platonic cuddling between friends is mandatory. He's just so hands-on it's ridiculous.

Unless you explicitly tell him you're uncomfortable he won't stop

Don't worry, if you aren't in that type of relationship, your no-no square is safe. Except, if you seem chill, he will slap your ass regardless of friendship status. His ass is also slappable. You can't tell me Geto and Gojo didn't run around slapping each other asses, okay

He was weird and scrawny as a child. He didn't start beefing out until he started training to be a shaman and he's still kinda smaller than most beefy boys

He can pick you up and throw you around easily. He carried around a 170 pound Yuji like a sack of potatoes and can easily carry around three times that weight

It's amazing he's so tiny because you remember 2014 Shane Dawson making all of those wack ass desserts that was just s pile of chaos wrapped in chocolate?

He can eat every last bite of one of those monstrosities without getting a stomach ache, gaining weight, or dying basically

He knows bc Yuji dared him to do it

He has really cold hands and feet

He sounds old. Let me elaborate. He's constantly cracking his joints. They also creak when he moves. He complains about body pains like he's 80 y/o

He also shares wisdom with the kids as if he's actually 80 y/o

It's irrelevant advice that doesn't make sense but is also useful. Megumi can't count the number of times he's asked Gojo for feedback on his technique but had been told to remember to chew 40 times or never go to bed angry

Starts off sentences with "now son" and "when I was your age"

He uses his blindfold as a headband when he wants his hair out of his face. He also uses headbands as... Headbands... When he wants to wear sunglasses but get his hair out of his face

He owns so many pairs of sunglasses but he always wears the same pair

He's only bought a handful of them himself, most of them are gifts

No one knows what to get him for Christmas or his birthday bc he has everything, so they resort to sunglasses

His favorite pair is a pair that Shoko and Geto bought him as a gag. He thought they were dead serious, though, so he wore them around for a month

They were heart-shaped, rose-tinted glasses

Can you believe this man doesn't use any gel or anything to keep his hair spiky with the blindfold on? It just naturally defies gravity when the blindfold is on

Tell this man he's pretty because he already knows. He's narcissistic but not the cringy kind

Photogenic as hell. Takes great pictures from any angle. 

He gives everyone a different story as to why he covers his eyes. Sometimes he says it's because his eyes are too pretty and are a distraction. Sometimes he says it's because the sunglasses/bandages/blindfold look cooler than his eyes. Sometimes he says it's to protect the six eyes from seeing things he doesn't want to see. The world may never know

He's tried covering his whole face before, but he thinks he's too pretty for that. He at least wants one of his many amazing features to be shown at all times.

So about his driver's license;

He knows how to drive. He can be a good driver. When he wants to be. He just doesn't have a driver's license.

Now he TELLS people he just never got around to getting one, however, there's a rumor he lost it due to too many parking tickets

It's amazing the only tickets he's ever gotten have been from that and once he got caught without a seatbelt; he would have gotten out of that one if he hadn't been flirting with the police officer so bad

This doesn't stop Gojo from driving places though

He steals Ijichi's car a LOT and Ijichi DOESN'T KNOW HOW like??? The windows are never broken and it doesn't look hotwired-

Gojo has a key

You're not even supposed to be able to duplicate car keys but Gojo did 

Also; none of the first-year trio knows he doesn't have a driver's license, though that much should be painfully obvious

He whips around corners, speeds up at yellow lights, goes "watch this" and does a donut, it's just a mess

The poor students have to sit in the backseat too. Just imagine Megumi with all three seatbelts around him like that one meme.

He thrives off of Nobara and Yuji screaming from the backseat, and he can see Megumi being smooshed because he thought the middle seat was the safest through the rearview mirror

Which he doesn't even need because of the six eyes

Despite being such a reckless driver, he knows when danger will happen, so he's never once gotten in a wreck

He blasts the radio, which makes up for the driving.

Has a habit of getting in a car and ending up in the McDonalds drive-thru

Steals other people's fries and keeps the fullest one for himself.

He was rebellious as a kid and teenager, but hey, at least his juvie record is sealed 

He's been detained and in the back of a cop car many times, but the reason was never really bad enough for him to be arrested. Mostly he's just being mouthy. And the time he got caught spray painting on the side of a building. And that one time he and Getou hopped the fence to get into the local pool. And that other time-

It got worse after Getou wasn't around to get him out of trouble. Suddenly, breaking the rules wasn't fun anymore and he mellowed out. 

Tried alcohol and cigarettes before he was legal. Decided neither was his thing, however, he did start drinking occasionally when he was legal.

He's a fucking chaotic drunk. Oh my god he's absolutely feral

Most bars in the vicinity know him by name and they sigh whenever he walks in

Shoko is his emergency contact. She hates it

Shoko has to drag drunk Gojo home at least twice a month and is not happy about it

Once she left him in an alley. He made it home okay so she guesses it's fine

Once he got so drunk he spilled beer on his sock. The thought the fastest way to dry them was by sticking them in the microwave. Forgot about it until someone asked, "Who the fuck is cooking socks???"

I feel it important he was in the break room of the local grocery store and no one knows how he got there

As he was escorted out he stole a grocery cart and rode away in it while singing Don't Threaten Me (With A Good Time) by Panic! At The Disco

He has no alcohol tolerance at all what so ever

He will literally just stare at you and giggle

It's funny he's really flirty but also doesn't seal the deal. Literally, every woman in that bar is willing to get in his bed but he declines every offer. No one knows why

Its because he respects women

He helps his students break the rules as long as they're within reason. Once night Yuji was really hungry and after having a temper tantrum he couldn't order Uber eats bc the school is supposed to be secret Gojo helped sneak him out to get food. Who needs curfew anyway.

The shirts in his closet range from like twenty bucks to the iconic rich bitch shirt the kids ruined in that one chapter we all know the one 

He still wears that by the way, he calls it "art" 

When he was younger, Megumi drew a picture of Gojo being eaten by his shadow dogs. Gojo found it and now it's framed in his room.

He keeps up with current trends and memes like no one's business. This is how he bonds with his kids.

Don't call him old, but also, he'll tell you to respect your elders it's a mess

He has a lot of games on his phone. You can usually find him holding his phone sideways playing some RPG game he probably spent too much money on 

He did hop on the Pokemon Go hype train but after becoming overpowered he got bored

This happens to a lot of games. He pays way too much money, gets to be the strongest in the server, and gets bored

He likes games where you can kill other people's troops and likes to watch as they lose all their power

I canon him as being borderline sadistic

This is why he's Sakata Gintoki reincarnated

White hair, sweet tooth, black leather clothes, dad vibes, never takes anything seriously bc when he does he's scary as fuck, the works.

He is Sakata Gintoki

He liked Gintama growing up. He watched a lot of iconic shows as they aired. He considers himself an og

He's hella bilingual

Because he's the strongest he goes overseas for missions a lot. Because of this he speaks a lot of languages and knows a lot about international cuisine 

He takes pictures of himself eating disgusting foods like snails. He never likes them but he loves the idea of Nobara gagging back in japan

Has paperwork sitting untouched on his desk from three months ago that he will not touch for at least another three months

Does the crossword puzzles in the newspaper every week

Uses humor as a coping mechanism and it honestly just became a personality

Constantly popping his joints. I'm sorry if you find this gross I too find it gross.

Probably brought home every stray animal he ever met ever until he was at least like 22 y/o

Tags: @wasabito @kittaliapenn

[populationtyre]

Why do you reblog pride post’s while also posting transphobic and transmisogynist posts? Pride was started by TRANS WOMEN throwing bricks at cops. Maybe do some research before blindly following terfs? I feel like maybe you’re better than that but I could be wrong. Idk do some soul searching

pride absolutely was NOT “started by trans women”. that’s a MYTH that has been debunked multiple times. Marsha P. Johnson wasn’t even THERE at the start. He showed up after the riots had already started (yes, he. He self-identified as a GAY MAN who was also a radical drag queen). Sylvia Rivera was also not there at the start either.

It was a BLACK BUTCH LESBIAN —believed to be Stormé — who kicked it off by resisting arrest, and the GAY MEN in the bar threw bottles and drinks in protest (the bricks also came later).

i know you think i might be uneducated and have no idea what i’m talking about, but i actually used to believe the gender stuff too when i was younger. i believed it and wholeheartedly tried to spread it FOR YEARS. in fact, i myself was on the verge of transitioning as a teenager when i did some SOUL SEARCHING and found that i had just been regurgitating absolute horseshit, and took it upon myself to rethink some things about my feminism. 

then i ACTUALLY looked into the information out there, i looked at the research and i listened to the stories and i read the books and had real life discussions with real people. i questioned what i was being told and i drew my own conclusions. and it wasn’t just an overnight change of heart. it took at least a couple years while i came to terms with the new information i was being exposed to and took my time to consider it and mull it over.

like, my dude, i come from a family of academics, and i have a degree in psychological sciences. i think i’ve got a pretty good handle on research.

further than that, i’ve been an active, passionate feminist for over a decade now. i’ve been writing essays and learning and exploring this topic for years. i’ve been exposed to a variety of feminist movements, attended a variety of feminist gatherings and consciousness raising meetings, and been involved in a variety of feminist circles. I’ve met with women from all over the world, from all kinds of backgrounds, and listened to their experiences. I also came out as same-sex attracted when i was twelve, and attended a bunch of groups and volunteered with a bunch of events for the alphabet community. we had our own dances and camps and trivia nights and regular meetings to talk about our experiences and learn from eachother and our elders. i’ve watched how this community has treated eachother, I’ve seen it first hand.

this is not some new hobby i just picked up in lockdown. this is not some passive interest. i have been active and involved and i come from a place of actually being informed, and continue to learn new things every day. if you think i’m just blindly following others, you clearly don’t actually know anything about me.

ANYWAY, if you’d like to do your own research, there’s some wonderful resources out there.

I have a few recommendations but I encourage you to seek more out yourself.

I’ll start with my favourite. It’s an incredible analysis of the mythologising of Stonewall, looking at the derailing question of “who threw the first brick?”, challenging the ahistorical reporting of who was there and how they were involved, and remembering the significance of homosexuality’s criminalisation.

«If Johnson and Rivera didn’t throw the first brick — who did?[...] Maybe we simply don’t know. It was a collective effort by a group of angry homosexuals.

All the Stonewall rioters, they had no reason to riot if homosexuality wasn’t criminalized. They would not have lived the lives they did if homosexuality wasn’t criminalized. Yet today, the hagiography of Stonewall is weaponized against homosexuals, used to say that homosexuals ‘owe’ transgender people their time, movement, and rights.

The brick-thrower, whoever they may be or even if they exist, did not then single-handedly create fifty years worth of LGBT activism. That was a collective project. It’s okay to acknowledge that. We do not need to mythologize the brick-thrower. I feel that any attempt to find the ‘first brick thrower’ or the one person who started Stonewall, or doling out credit for Stonewall marks a departure from historiography [source-based accounts and facts] into hagiography [mythologisation and idolisation]. No single figure was responsible for Stonewall, nor any single demographic, group, or social class. But one thing united them. At that moment, the moment the lesbian fought back, the moment the first objects were thrown, that one thing was their homosexuality — their love for the same sex. It’s time to re-establish that historical fact.» via Sue Donym’s ‘Stonewasn’t’ https://archive.is/tn6tl

More resources under the break.

Sue Donym also has an incredible archive of well-researched, sourced articles that are a valuable asset to the feminist movement. She got banned from Medium.com, but you can find her archive here: https://archive.is/eUOLD

Here’s a masterpost of TRA lies about stonewall: https://transgenderlies.tumblr.com/post/165438110827/countering-transgender-lies-about-stonewall

Here’s another masterpost of more resources you can look at: https://auntiewanda.tumblr.com/post/178824977986/feminism-what-kinda-terf-y-bullshit-all-that

And here’s a few neat little summaries regarding Stonewall, if you don’t feel like reading actual articles. But i do recommend you come back at a later time and actually read the articles, because it’s important for you to be able to engage with the literature and draw your own conclusions instead of having it spoonfed to you.

Here’s a masterpost of receipts regarding things the TRA movement has stolen and been disingenuous about.

Here’s the masterpost of all masterposts, on a wide variety of feminist topics, so you can look at resources and receipts to your heart’s content https://evil-wrongthink-lesbian.tumblr.com/post/652918840174460928/masterpost-of-masterposts

Here’s yet another masterpost: https://radfemhancock.tumblr.com/post/620852335187542016/masterpost-links-gendercrit-trans-people

Mind, you don’t have to read any of those links. It’s your choice what you read and what you look into and what you consume. I’m just trying to suggest that you maybe consider that you possibly haven’t looked at all the facts necessary in order to take an informed stance. If you read all these resources and still hold the same beliefs, then okay. I just ask that you try to look at some perspectives outside of your own.

Anyway it’s almost midnight and this is the longest thing i’ve written in quite a while so I’m gonna go tf to bed now peace XX

[deniigi]

my supervisor fucked me over with all my other coworkers present. can I request a one shot from you to cheer me up featuring Sammy?

Did I give y’all the fic about the hotpot?

Well if I didn’t, I’m giving it to you now.

Title: hotpot

Summary: Ganke checks the comments for the Blindspot comic daily and there’s this one asshole anon who keeps talking shit about BT.

--

The Blindspot comic went live in the fall and Ganke couldn’t stop checking the hit count every five seconds. All night there had only been ten hits.

He told himself not to be disappointed. The only person who really mattered had read and loved the comic.

Miles said that BT had even forced everyone on the team to read an abridged version of Journey to the West, and had gone as far as to make a quiz to determine everyone’s character.

Miles refused to disclose who he’d gotten.

BT had clearly rigged the game to make himself Sun Wukong and Ganke was proud of him.

That kind of enthusiasm was exactly what he’d been hoping for, anything else now was just icing on the cake.

Even though it would be cool if it wasn’t just BT reading his own comics.

That would be pretty cool, right? Like. If people online all started reading BT’s comic. That would be sort of amazing.

Kind of excellent.

Definitely worthy of an A+ and double pats on the back.

Right?

The hit counter didn’t think so. But hey, five more people had opened the page since last night. That was something, wasn’t it?

 MM: dude why not just ask Sam to tweet out the link?

 How dare you, Miles Morales.

How dare you waltz into this place with logical thought.

GL: I can’t do that. That’s like. Idk. Inflating the views.

MM: okay yeah explain to me how appealing to the person in control of the largest part of his own fandom is inflating the views

GL: I see your logic and I’m banishing it

MM: I’m messaging him

GL: DON’T

MM: too late

MM: he says ‘gimme link’

GL: asdksjsjdks

--

 @blindspot: hi I know y’all can’t get enough of me to the point of asking shockingly invasive questions and for you I say good news! Some amazing folks have gone through the trouble of making a Blindspot comic. it’s good guys check it out [link]

--

 It helped.

A lot.

It helped a lot.

--

 People, on the whole, had great things to say. The panels were screenshotted and tagged and sent all over social media and even though Miles was pretending to be chill and aloof about the whole thing, Ganke could imagine him smiling big and bright and white at his phone non-stop.

Mom and Auntie saw a few of the bits on Twitter and tittered over them in the kitchen like pigeons.

The pride rose like a wave. Ganke kept waiting for the crash.

--

 It came two days later in the form of a comment that read ‘Christ, look at all this fuss. BT is fine. I hate his brother.’

It felt like someone punching the wind out of Ganke’s lungs.

He took comfort in the handful of people who leapt in to shout down the commenter. They emphasized that if the anonymous commenter didn’t like the story or the characters, then they didn’t have to read it and they, especially, didn’t have to say anything about it.

Ganke appreciated those guys. He got the feeling that a lot of the people on there knew that the whole thing had been done but a couple of kids.

Not that Anon cared.

Anon replied to all these comments ‘No, I’m gonna keep reading, thanks. Anyways, the brother is lame. The smart part is cool, but why’s it always gotta be a guy?’

The part that haunted Ganke even after he’d shut his laptop and had gone to stick his head out the window for some big breaths of cleansing air was that Anon was kind of right.

--

 GL: should we have made Guotin’s brother a sister?

MM: no

GL: why not?

MM: cause BT’s always wanted a brother

 Oh.

Okay. Then it was fine?

 MM: yeah man ignore them. it’s chill.

GL: k thanks my ego is huge and fragile

MM: trust me I know

 Asshole. Fine, moving right along.

--

 It didn’t stop. Anon commented on every page. Every. Single. Page.

Ganke didn’t know what to do or say. On the one hand, clearly this person was dedicated and deeply engaged with the comic, on the other hand, they needed a Rude Alert button. Ganke wondered if Ned could code one for them and them only.

The latest of their fury was directed at the big reveal in the second issue—BT’s face.

Having now met Sam, BT, Blindspot, Ganke’s whole image of him had changed.

He was not conventionally attractive as far as like, K-Pop idols and famous Chinese dudes went. His eyes were puffy and narrow and his face was round everywhere but the jaw. He leaned more towards ‘cute’ than ‘sexy,’ which Ganke sort of loved about him.

He was friendly. Stressed and grumpy and feisty as hell, yeah, but first and foremost friendly.

Miles claimed that he called it his ‘number one asset in employability.’ Which was wild because hello, Blindspot.

Obviously, BT couldn’t help his face. But Miles and Ganke could help Guotin’s.

Ganke had sent Miles about fifteen different images of Chinese celebrities and had told him to do his worst. They’d reviewed the final few drafts and had picked one that was most like a young Chen Kun. His face was more oval-shaped than BT’s. His chin and lips were slimmer but more defined. He was pretty, but not so pretty as to be called ‘feminine,’ which Ganke thought was a solid compromise between ‘handsome as sin’ and ‘looks like he’s got a quirky sense of humor.’

Anon hated him.

Anon thought that he looked like an idol, and they were not here for it.

They told ‘the artist’ to give him a mole or something, anything to make him look ‘less pristine. God, I can smell him from here and he smells like Dior and staph habitat.’

Ganke had to look up what a staph infection was. He regretted it. He asked Miles if they should censor Anon.

Miles said ‘mmmmm, idk it’s not like they aren’t saying anything that isn’t true.’

Ganke resented that. Clearly this was defamation of BT. This person hated him and was taking their feeling out on the comic.

 MM: I mean yeah but it’s not like they’re talking about the comic, man. They’re talking about the style and like, thinking about it, a mole or smth to help you tell him apart from other folks would kind of be helpful. Like, especially if we ever put him in a crowd, you know?

 HHHHHH.

Fine.

Anon could stay. But they were on thin ice.

--

 It was hard not to be bitter about Anon’s comments, especially when they arrived daily, as though Anon knew exactly what they were doing and which page they’d left off at. They couldn’t possibly be reading the comic one page at a time, this was intentional.

Ganke’s jaw hurt from all the tooth grinding he’d endured as of late.

This latest one read ‘yo, has BT ever mentioned fighting with a sword? I don’t recall him mentioning. Someone should take that thing away from him before someone loses an eye—or maybe even two.’

That felt like a pointed jibe.

That turned the churning irritation in Ganke’s gut into something much, much colder.

Did Anon know about BT’s black and blue eyes? How could they know? Was it a coincidence? It seemed to be more than a coincidence.

The pile of critiques was growing bigger and bigger, and now that Ganke thought about it, they all seemed to take issue with things that didn’t match the real Blindspot’s personality.

It was as if they knew him.

 GL: miles did you read the new comment from AnonTheAsshole?

MM: lol yeah

GL: tell me if I’m talking out my ass or whatever but like

GL: you don’t think they could be Muse, could they?

 Silence.

 MM: oh no

 Yeah. Fuck.

 MM: chances are low.

GL: they know so much tho??

MM: might be stalker? Maybe someone who’s over-invested in BT’s social media pages?

GL: maybe.

MM: hold on let me ask Spidey to screen it

GL: does he know Muse?

MM: no, but he’s paranoid and he’ll get Wade to be paranoid with him, and then they can decide whether its worth giving to DD for verification. He knows Muse.

 Ganke’s head was spinning. His fingers shook with guilt and the thought of Muse’s pale body hunched over a secret, cracked cell phone in a high security prison who knew where.

In Ganke’s head, he smiled wider and wider, until the skin on his cheeks cracked. He dug out scraps of paper and redrew Blindspot—Sam—with gaping holes for eyes and a screaming mouth and he drew dismembered corpses in black lakes and he laughed.

He just kept laughing.

 MM: hey ganke

MM: it’s going to be okay. It’s just a comic. I’m sure AnonTheAsshole is a stalker. They’re not threatening anyone.

MM: Sam can deal with a stalker. And we can too, okay?

 There was a reason that Miles was a hero. Ganke wiped at his eyes and swallowed.

 GL: okay. Thanks for doing that.

MM: 👍🏾

--

 It took a few hours because Spidey and Deadpool had lives outside of being Spidey and Deadpool, but not so long that Ganke ran out of nails to chew.

Miles messaged him back and said that Spidey had read through everything and ‘escalated it.’ This meant that whatever he’d seen had caused him enough concern to take it to DP.

Miles said that he’d get back to Ganke with DP’s verdict as soon as he had it. In the meantime, he’d run the comments by the other Spideypeople and they thought that it most likely wasn’t malevolent but was maybe something to keep an eye on in the meantime. He tacked onto all, somewhat stiltedly, that he had a weird feeling all of the sudden. The pink Spidey’s tone had changed. She’d shut down and gone cagey, which allegedly wasn’t like her at all. Then she’d told the taller guy to DM her and they’d vanished from the chat. Miles wasn’t sure what was going on there or if maybe they knew something about stuff going on that he didn’t, but he wasn’t super comfortable with it.

 GL: crossing my fingers its nothing?

MM: same man, same.

--

 DP escalated it.

Ganke couldn’t stay still in his room. There was no comfortable place to sit or stand or lay. There was nothing to do that would make him stop thinking about everything.

 MM: It’s gonna be fine, man, DD always knows what to do.

 Miles kept saying that for every step of the way, and yet here they were. Double escalated. Ganke wasn’t so sure he even knew what was happening anymore.

That was scary. Miles was supposed to be part of the in-crowd.

 MM: Wade doesn’t think it’s anything that can’t be nipped in the bud.

 That was easy for a contract assassin to say, wasn’t it?

 MM: he says that you and I are fine. Doesn’t see any links there. Waiting on DD for confirmation of tone.

 Hurry up, Daredevil. Your apprentice’s life might be about to take a nosedive into a heap of trash.

--

 Two hours. One text.

 MM: >:/

 Ganke couldn’t contain the bubble of laughter.

 GL: good news?

MM: [image]

 He opened it.

 SC: HANNAH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. STOP BEING A BITCH ON MAIN

HC: You can’t tell me what to do

SC: I CAN

HC: Mom he’s being MEAN

SC: Mom she’s scaring children online

HC: I scare children everywhere I go why are these ones special???

SC: Because I said so

HC: that doesn’t fucking work Samuel you’re not her

SC: I am your older brother

SC: your ELDEST brother

HC: YOU AINT SHIT

SC: THEY DON’T COUNT

SC: HALFSIES COUNT

 What.

 MM: so.

MM: she’s not Muse.

MM: Red’s laughing his ass off at all of us for taking this to a level three

GL: wait I don’t understand

MM: Hannah is Sam’s little sister. She’s found a new hobby in our website.

 Blindspot’s little sister was reading the comic??? Holy shit.

 GL: she hates him?

MM: no I’ve been informed that they would literally commit murder for each other but this is how they express love.

 No way. Siblings were wild.

 GL: so we’re good?

MM: [image]

  SC: apologize 🔪

HC: eat my ass

SC: apologize or else

HC: or else what? You gonna come in here and sit on me? Huh? Huh????

SC: I know your email password. All 3 you cycle through. What was his name? Uuuuuuuuuh Jing?

HC: you fucking bastard

SC: Hi Jing, it’s me, Hannah. I’ve been in mad crush with you since sophomore year. Please notice me senpai 😖

HC: Die

SC: kill me

HC: I will.

 The giggles that came this time were a mix of relief and genuine intrigue. This lady read the comic every day. She took the time to scroll through pictures of her brother being an absolute lunatic and fighting with a huge monkey. Then she hopped into that comment box and took him—not Miles, not Ganke, specifically Blindspot--down a peg.

She must miss him a lot. Ganke wondered if this was her way of keeping him in her thoughts.

 MM: I don’t think we’re getting a sorry, man. DD says Sam’s been at this all morning and has been tricked into apologizing himself twice

GL: so you’re saying that she’s an evil genius

MM: idk but she’s def Sam’s main nemesis. I always thought that older siblings got like, rights or something over younger ones, but idk anymore. Angel says this is normal.

GL: do you think she misses him?

 Miles took a long time to respond.

 MM: yeah

 Yeah, Ganke thought so, too.

 GL: should we change Guo tin’s brother’s name to ‘hamish?’

MM: ASDLDSDSFKdsjf

MM: one moment.

MM: sam says yes. Hannah says that she thinks our comic is shit and we need to draw everything uglier

GL: she’s kind of funny

MM: 👀perhaps she would like to be a consultant?

GL: 👀👀👀👀

MM: brb asking

MM: sam says no. Hannah says she’s got better things to do than proofread comics on the internet. She’s also not sorry. She wants that to be clear. DD says that the conversation has moved from English to Chinese and to maybe duck and cover for now. He says all is good tho. Thanks for checking in.

MM: Muse doesn’t use punctuation and talks in riddles, so if we get any of that, we’re supposed to send it to DP right away.

 Oh, nice. That was a relief.

 MM: oh

MM: sam wants to put us in a chat. Can I give him your number?

 Uh, only if he wanted Ganke to hyperventilate.

 GL: sure

 --

  [GL has been added to a Secure Chat]

 It was a page of characters and emojis that were somehow more menacing than Ganke had ever seen them before. Miles popped a little waving hand into the fray, as though testing the waters, but the characters just carried on scrawling around it.

Ganke wasn’t quite sure what to do.

 GL: hi? Are y’all okay?

 There was finally a pause. Then a few shorter lines of characters. And then finally, Blindspot switched from Chinese to English.

 SC: yes we’re FINE. We’re GREAT. Aren’t we, sibling from hell?

HC: who’re you? Why are you in our family chat? This is a family only zone, can’t you read?

SC: God Hannah he’s Korean don’t be a dick

HC: I can’t not be I learned it from you

SC: fair but pretend in the face of company

HC: okay fine. Hello losers.

MM: adksadfadsdfldfsldf

MM: hi

GL: hi?

SC: go on

HC: UGH

HC: fine

HC: I didn’t mean to shit talk your creation. Only my brother.

SC: also a sin, we’ll get to that later

HC: no one cares about you Samuel, stop spreading lies

SC: you first. We both know this is no lie, my white dad cares about me a whole lot

HC: well we can’t all have white dads now can we

SC: don’t be jealous

MM: lol you really call Matt your white dad??

HC: who is this person and how do they know our mutual parent’s name?

SC: this is not a mutual parent situation how many times have we been through this. He’s mine. Get your own.

MM: hi! 👋🏾I’m Bitsy! Spidey no. 4

GL: I’m his friend. He draws the comic. I write it.

HC: oh. nerd children x2

HC: anyways yeah Matt is our dad

SC: ffs

MM: he’s sort of dadly ig.

HC: ?? oho

SC: mind your face. Think about your face. Think about how much you like your face.

HC: little spider, did you not hear?

SC: kay everyone out. We’re done here

MM: hear what?

HC: lol Sammy you didn’t tell them about how Matthew Mcconaughey adopted you in all ways but paperwork?

 Ganke held his phone away from his face as far as it would go.

 MM: …wait are you for real?

SC: no. okay out.

HC: awwww Sammy so shy now. What are you embarrassed about? It’s cute.

SC: Hannah literally shut up I’m not playing

HC: damn okay sorry

MM: can I be honest?

SC: no

MM: I’m going to be anyways: I think we all sorta knew.

SC: …

HC: right?

SC: what does that even mean?

MM: idk, it just felt right, you know? You two are always fussing at each other and red lost his shit that time you got shot. He doesn’t treat you the way he treats the rest of us and we’re his teammates. He doesn’t even treat spidey like he treats you. So like, yeah. It fits.

MM: I’m really happy for you guys.

MM: is there a reason it’s a secret?

 Ganke eased himself back down onto the mattress. This was real. This was like, actual, real information. Something that he and like, four other people in the world now knew.

He kind of wanted to forget it. It didn’t feel right to know.

 SC: I dunno.

HC: if sam has an honest emotion towards anything he has to calculate its weight so he can make space for it in his collection of satellites.

MM: wh

SC: you’re so not funny.

HC: it’s called emotional repression, darling. It’s all the rage in this family.  

MM: oh

MM: so that’s why you and Red get on so well

SC: HHHHHHH

HC: HA

SC: okay but listen his is different, I’ve only seen him cry at his wedding. I cry at least 4 times a week. Obviously under the bed, but that can’t be emotional repression. That’s expression. That’s clearly expression

HC: I can make the old man cry watch me

SC: please don’t I’ll die

MM: awwwww

SC: shut up it doesn’t even matter.

MM: AWWWWWW

SC: LEAVE ALREADY

MM: no I like it here. I want to hear you talk about how much you love your white dad

SC: I don’t. He loves me. I’m fine with this because it results in food, shelter, and continued employment.

HC: uh huh

SC: I’m using him

HC: yeah because you’re like the most manipulative person I know.

SC: thank you

HC: /sarcasm

SC: I know I ignored it.

MM: so wait why do you actually pretend like you hate him tho?

SC: wh

SC: what the fuck am I supposed to do? Just go on up for a cuddle? Have you met Matt? The second someone starts crying, he finds trash to take out to the bins. Hell no. Life is easier for everyone if I stab him with a stick and he kicks my ass in training. It’s fine.

HC: Sam is learning how to be a Manly Man. This is step one.

SC: I’m plenty manly

HC: you’re what mom imagined as manly

SC: which is perfect. That’s all I need.

HC: mama’s boy

SC: must suck to suck, no one’s kid.

 Wow. Ganke had never been more glad that he didn’t have a sister.

 GL: That’s kind of cool, though.

GL: that you and DD are close like that I mean.

GL: Its different from all the other mentor/mentee superheroes we see who like, sort of hate each other.

SC: wh

SC: OH. you mean Peter and Kate. Peter doesn’t actually hate Stark, fyi. And Kate calls Hawkeye the Old bi-weekly to make sure he’s still breathing. It’s actually pretty normal.

MM: he doesn’t mean like that Sam. I mean, like those guys don’t associate with their Olds now that they’re grown up and stuff, but you and DD stick together. It’s like you’re family.

MM: and that’s super cool. Idk if Spidey would ever consider me family. I don’t think he wants that for us.

SC: I?

SC: oh shit

HC: CLARITY ON THIS FINE DAY. What was your name again, tiny spider?

MM: miles

HC: PRAISE BE TO MILES

HC: AN EMOTION WAS HAD

SC: get fucked

HC: An epiphany was obtained!

SC: would you shut up

HC: Something has finally permeated that non-porous, two-inch thick skull of my esteemed eldest brother

SC: I’m your only brother

HC: you’re not

SC: they don’t fucking count

HC: now will you FINALLY invite our mutual dad to hotpot?

SC: Hannah he doesn’t want to come to hot pot we’ve talked about this. it’s too spicy for him.

HC: I’ll make it 1/3 less spicy

SC: that’s still too spicy

HC: I’ll make it 2/5 less spicy

SC: 3/5

HC: listen

HC: I have all this fucking equipment that SOMEONE left here callously

MM: what’s hotpot?

SC: 👀

HC: 👀

GL: 👀

SC: well fuck

HC: EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

GL: have we never taken you with us for hotpot???

MM: no?? is this the sticks?

HC: can be. Where do you live?

SC: Hannah no

HC: Hannah yes. We’ll make one here. You’ll make one there.

SC: do you know how much shit I’ll have to buy? Where are we gonna put it?

HC: this wouldn’t be a problem if you’d taken your goddamn inheritance with you to SF

SC: HHHHHH

MM: you guys are actually being serious?

HC: I am. I am here all on my lonesome. Abandoned by my only kin. I require enrichment.

SC: try doing your fucking homework

HC: did anyone hear something?

MM: lololololol I like you

HC: 😊

SC: wh

SC: oh no. No no no.

SC: you two don’t get to be friends

HC: come here bb pspspspspspsps

MM: I’m here

HC: got ‘im. Let’s have hotpot. Sammy send me resippy. We’ll do it together over video so I don’t fuck it up.

SC: I’ve got to go. This has been traumatizing.

HC: byeeeeeeeeeeee

HC: is he gone? Hell yeah, he’s gone.

HC: hey thanks for making that comic thing. It’s hella rad. He loves it. Mom used to call him Monkey when he was little.

GL: omg aw

HC: ikr? P cute. He misses her a lot so I think it brought back good memories. Anyways, I’m actually going to make hotpot. Come over and have some with me, it’s more fun with more people.

MM: you’re not joking

HC: nope, it’s been ages since your whole team has gotten together, right? Ask them to do it. I’m a shit cook, but Sam’ll show us how not to screw it up. And he’s playin’, he’s totally down to hang out with us. We never had more than three people. It’ll be new. Exciting. Enriching even.

MM: are you secretly a nice person, Hannah?

HC: the fuck do you mean ‘secret’??? I’m a delight.

MM: Okay I’ll ask the team and my mom

MM: ganke?

HC: 👀

 That—

Sounded kind of nice?

 GL: I’ll ask my mom.

HC: nice. You can tell them that it’s a friends dinner or whatever. Idc. I promise I’m not going to kidnap and murder you. I’ve got like, class and work and shit. I don’t have time for that.

MM: 👍🏾

GL: 👍🏼

HC: great here I’ll message you my number. This is legit our sibs chat so Sam’ll freak if you’re still here when he gets back.

MM: thank you! And sorry for thinking you were muse!!

GL: yeah that too

HC: lol np ttyl                                    

 That…had really just happened, hadn’t it?

Ganke needed to sit down even though he was already sitting down.

 GL: they’re so nice???

MM: ikr?

GL: are you actually going to ask your mom?

MM: Im gonna ask BT if its cool first. Then yeah. Why not? Our team really hasn’t gotten together in a minute. Everyone’s been super busy. It would be a nice change of pace, and if everyone brings smth then Hannah doesn’t have to pay for anything.

MM: ah, Sam says it’s okay. He says sorry his sister is weird and that he’ll make sure she doesn’t poison us.

GL: I kind of love her

MM: same

MM: okay will check in with the others. Talk to you later.

GL: yeah see you later

 Damn, at this rate, Ganke’s family was going to triple in size, and all thanks to a comic.

Before he left for downstairs, he made a note to make Guo tin’s brother snarkier.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 295: So How Are You Holding Up (Because I’m a Potato)

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi randomly and graciously decided to answer all of our long-standing questions about Mr. Compress, including “is he secretly hot,” “is he secretly related to that Robin Hood thief guy,” and “is he ever going to use his quirk to chain chomp a hole right through his ass??” with the answer to all three being “yes, of course.” As for our follow-up questions, “sir, is Mr. Compress going to die,” and “holy shit,” his answers were, respectively, “wait and see,” and, “I understand, really I do, but that isn’t actually a question.” Well, he’s got us there.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi finally ends the War arc with the speed and grace of an overworked college student scrambling to BS their entire midterm essay with five minutes left before the deadline. Deku’s Spidey Sense is all “what up, I exist, p.s. you’re in danger kid” like oh shit, no, you think?? Compress is all “I’m not gonna die but I am going to pass out and be captured” and honestly, at this point I’ll take it. Spinner is all “Tomura you can have this one last Souvenir Hand I found that was in the oven for too long” and slaps it on his face because HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, SHUT UP. Dabi is all, “[currently in a marble].”Tomura is all “actually, I’m AFO.” AFO is all “hahahahaha” and summons all of the remaining Noumus to cart him and Spinner and Dabi off to safety. Deku is all “DAMMIT TOMURA I’M REALLY MAD AT YOU FOR KILLING, AND I QUOTE, ‘AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE’, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, GET THIS, I TOTALLY WANT TO SAVE YOU TOO! LMAO ISN’T THAT WILD.” Fandom is all “OH MY GOD, NO WAY, is what we would say if we had literally never met Deku before, I guess.” And then the arc just ends, lol. See you in the new year, kids.

WAKE UP, LINK... I MEAN, DEKU

jesus christ Vestiges, not a one of you guys has got any chill at ALL. LISTEN TO ME. THIS CHILD IS DEAD. HE IS DECEASED. LOOK AT HIM. HE’S LYING THERE ALL DAZED WITH HIS ARMS AND LEGS TURNED INTO GREEN PUDDING AND YOU’RE ALL “GET UP LAZYBONES” LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD. CAN HE JUST REST?? CAN YOU ALL JUST CALL IT A DRAW WITH THE VILLAINS ALREADY SO WE CAN FINALLY END THIS TRAUMATIC ARC AND MOVE ON TO THE NEW “TRIAGE AND ROBOT LIMBS FOR EVERYBODY” ARC INSTEAD

LIE BACK DOWN YOU IDIOT!!

no you didn’t pass out because of a ~heatwave~, you passed out because he set you on fire while you were out here shooting Blackwhip out of your mouth with your SPINDLY ACCORDION LIMBS dangling uselessly from you like WINDCHIMES you RIDICULOUS BOY

“where’s Todoroki-kun” oh shiiiiiiit. right. god I hope someone caught him. BAKUGOU OWES HIM A FAVOR, HOW ‘BOUT IT

OH NEVER MIND HE APPARENTLY CAUGHT HIMSELF??

Todoroki Shouto has really highkey been the MVP of the entire fourth quarter of this arc. he deserves the world, and odds are all Horikoshi’s going to give him are lasting trauma, and a souvenir shirt that says “I survived this stupid arc and all I got was this t-shirt”

anyway now Deku’s being hit by a Lightning Bolt of Realization or some such? idk what’s going on, but I bet you it’s related to Tomura waking up again

OH SHIT??

LOL WHAT. THAT’S IT?? SPIDEY-SENSE?? I mean we all predicted Spidey-Sense being one of his quirks like ages ago, so Well Done, Us, I guess

but also, seriously?? all of that drama and intrigue about the fourth user’s quirk and this is what we end up with? what was All Might being so cagey about then? how did this dude die? I need answers goddammit. new, better answers lol

maybe it’s something to do with the fact that Deku keeps talking about how his head hurts?

I mean, for Deku of all people to be all “ouch that hurts”, it must really fucking hurt, you know? like oh my god Deku are you dying

lmao and SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO APPARENTLY DON’T FEEL PAIN

this man is out here FROLICKING, half-naked and half-torsoed, AND STILL FEVERISHLY RATTLING OFF HIS MONOLGOUE. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN ESCAPED YET YOU DINGUS. did watching Dabi pour bleach over his head inspire you to think of interesting new ways you could abuse your own body for the sake of Theatrics?? why are villains Like This

anyway so now Mirio’s punching him, because what else are you even supposed to do in this situation

I read this speech bubble three times in a row very carefully this time around just to make sure I was reading the words right. and then looked for a T/L note below. and there was none. whatever RHA, at least you all are out here enjoying yourselves

wait what?

I guess he hasn’t woken up yet after all?? so then wtf is Deku’s Spidey Sense getting all worked up about. I mean to be fair there’s danger all around them still so having a Spidey Sense in this kind of situation is kind of like bringing a smoke alarm to a BBQ

now what

wait did he put them back in the marble?? or is that panel just meant to show us how they were in the marble earlier?? Horikoshi please make this less confusing, I’m already having trouble staying focused as it is. and on top of everything else Compress is cascading blood like Niagara Falls right now and I’m starting to wonder if you really are going to kill him off

anyway so Mirio is still in mid-punch, and now he’s reaching out to punch Spinner with his other hand. heh. Mirio please be careful Tomura is right there, and I swear to god Horikoshi IF HE LAYS A HAND ON HIS SWIRLY BLOND HEAD SO HELP ME I WILL MAIL YOU A VIAL OF MY TEARS

okay seriously what the hell is happening

when you attach?? everyone?? to your body?? whose body?? who is this??

oh wait okay it’s a flashback to Tomura talking about his Hands

lmao this is so disjointed, I can’t tell what’s a flashback and what isn’t and whose thoughts these are lmao I give up. I’m just going to fire up a bunch of question marks until this starts making some goddamn sense. ???????

??????

????????

-- !!!!!!!!!!!

okay hold up. so did Spinner just slap Tomura’s last remaining Signature Fashion Hand onto his face just now for absolutely no reason?? is that what’s going on?? and fuck me but it actually worked too, lmao. is your buddy unconscious and unresponsive to stimuli?? no problem, just slap ‘em in the face with a burnt and shriveled severed hand. works every time

p.s. I SWEAR TO GOD HORIKOSHI. IF YOU TOUCH MIRIO!!! HE’S A GOOD BOY LEAVE HIM ALONE

??????????

OKAY WELL. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WTF IS HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST MIRIO’S NOT DEAD. KACCHAN GOT BLOWN AWAY THOUGH SOB. HOW IRONIC THAT THE GOD OF EXPLOSION MURDERS WOULD BE MURDERED BY AN EXPLOSION WHILE I WAS BUSY SAYING “OH MY GOD”

ohhhhhh, okay. so this is AFO’s narration

and that’s a partial answer to the question of “why did AFO bother raising Tomura up as his heir if he was planning on taking over his body the whole time.” apparently it makes it easier to control him. joy :’)

also this image of a potato wearing a Tomura wig is sending me fjkllkhl

oh my god he summoned all the Noumu to him like Aquaman and his sea creatures. this whole situation just keeps on getting better

-- oh hell no. oh fuck me, fucking shit

SHIT SHIT SHIT. I’M SORRY SPINNER, TOMURA CAN’T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

oh my god. I fucking hate everything right now oh my god

I GUESS WE FIGURED OUT WHAT DEKU’S SPIDEY SENSE WAS WARNING HIM ABOUT, THEN ಠ_ಠ

fucking great!! so I guess nobody is getting a happy ending today, then. the heroes got their asses handed to them (sorry Compress, it’s a figure of speech, didn’t mean to be disrespectful); Deku and Kacchan died; Shouto’s evil brother came back from the dead to ruin his life; everyone and their dog lost various limbs; and the villains have now lost Twice (dead), Compress and Machia (presumably going to be captured), and now their fearless leader’s body has been completely taken over by AFO, which is such an unsexy development that it managed to completely undo all of the Mr. Compress Sexiness from last week. goddamn it

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO END IT LIKE THIS

up close Hadou’s face is looking pretty rough. :/ that’s going to scar over isn’t it. at least she’ll look like a badass

meanwhile I appreciate that Horikoshi drew what looks to be a little puff of air next to Kacchan’s mouth, just to reassure us all that he’s not actually dead. that’s fine. you just lie there then. also his wound really is in the exact same place as All Might’s and it’s giving me all kinds of feels you guys but whatever I’m not gonna sit here dwelling on it all day

AND POOR SHOUTO. IS HE STILL CRYING OMG. AND ENDEAVOR, WAY TO DO NOTHING STILL. THE ALL TIME CHAMP OF SITTING AROUND AND STARING, GOOD FOR YOU

ARE YOU FOR REAL, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

(－‸ლ)

lol

“peace out, loser.” “SHUT YOUR TRAP, HO.” quality encounter right here

anyway so he’s blasting Deku with something and Deku’s just flying back all unconscious-like. so then, what even was the point of all that, huh

oh I see, it was to lead us into one last Deku monologue to close this arc out

oh my god Deku if you say you’re going to save him I will turn around and do a cannonball into a ballpit of feels right now, don’t do this to me

OH SNAP I THINK HE’S GONNA THOUGH

DID HE LOOK LIKE HE NEEDED SAVING?? I MUST CONFESS YOU AND I ARE OF A MIND HERE, YOUNG BROCCOLI. YES IN SPITE OF ALL THE MURDERS. WHAT CAN I SAY IT’S COMPLICATED

by the way I just have to point out here, that after all of those impossibly pretty close-ups of Hawks’s unconscious face, Horikoshi really did my child dirty here lmao

he looks like a squished cockroach. THAT’S MY BABY BOY

and it looks like the cavalry is finally on its way too! took them long enough. so I guess they can take care of any of the remaining Noumu stragglers, but first let Deku finish his speech. listen up Deku I really need you to say something cool and iconic to cap off this thus-far admittedly underwhelming Last Chapter Of The Year, here

AHHHHHHH YES HE REALLY DID IT HE SAID THE THING

well he thought the thing, anyway. close enough. I’ll take it!

so this is really the end of the arc then! or at least I hope, good lord. anyways, all right then so let’s do a quick status check:

it looks like the Noumu are hauling Tomura and Spinner away to safety, but it doesn’t look like they managed to save Machia or Compress. this honestly might be in Compress’s best interests though. the heroes can get him some medical help along with Kacchan and Endeavor and everyone else

Dabi is apparently hidden inside Spinner’s scarf, but do they have any way of releasing him without Compress there to undo the quirk? will he be all right in there. like how is he going to get food and water and air and stuff lol. does it wear off after a bit? can Compress undo it when he wakes up, even if he’s in custody? is there a distance limit on it?

and Skeptic was presumably turned into a marble as well, but Compress didn’t bother mentioning him at all. nobody cares about poor Skeptic lol

and bonus AFO theories status check:

Dad for One - AFO called Deku worthless and hasn’t seemed to take the least bit of interest in him despite getting to see his fancy SIXQUIRKS up close and personal. so if he is his dad he sure as heck is a terrible one, that’s all I can say

All for One for All/Deku is a horcrux - well the Spidey Sense seems to offer an alternative explanation to why Deku could sense AFO’s presence, but on the other hand it doesn’t explain why AFO was able to sense Deku’s as well (seeing his dreams and such). still thinking there’s a connection there, guys, idk

AFO is the final villain - five words for you: “EVERYTHING IS FOR MY SAKE.” is that concrete enough yet lol. pretty sure this arc marked both the beginning and end of Tomura’s brief stint as the Big Bad. Deku’s got it in his mind to save him now somehow, and we all know what happens when Deku starts getting determined to save people. look out AFO

as for the heroes, they’re all varying degrees of Fucked and I think it’s honestly too much to even take stock of at this point. maybe if I get a rush of hyperfixation in the next couple days or so I’ll do a separate post analyzing the impact of this arc and where things currently stand and where they might be headed from here

but in the meantime, ngl, this chapter was kind of a hot mess lmao. but whatever, I don’t even care because at least he managed to get all of it done within the allotted 17 pages, meaning that next week (or rather two weeks from now, sob) we really can get moving onto the aforementioned Triage arc! BRING ON THAT ANGST. I am so fucking hyped goddammit

[ill-skillsgard]

Faust x Faith - No Looking Back

Warning: 18+ smut, public sex, violence, blood, arson, implied death, mentions of non-consensual touching (nothing explicit and no r-words used,) mentions of stalking, unconsciousness, anti-religious themes, strong language.

Note: Hey, hey. I’ve wanted to write this for a while, but haven’t had much time. This isn’t based on any requests—just something I feel needs to happen to move the universe along. After this, I’ll be basing future FxF stuff off drabble requests instead of going story-heavy for a bit. Likes, comments and reblogs are suuuper ‘ppreciated!

Summary: - Not based on Lords of Chaos. I use Faust!Valter’s likeness only as inspiration - 3.6K words -

Faust makes good on his word to protect Faith, taking drastic measures to assure her assailant never bothers her again.

Read more Faust x Faith here [x]

Thin raindrops pattered the man's leather jacket as he walked through the streets with his hood drawn up and his eyes low. For two days, the drizzle persisted and melted the black snowbanks into slush. Though the dismal atmosphere kept most inside, Sven had good reason to travel across town on foot. The promise of a girl's company waited at the end of his route, and he put off his regular nightly routine of masturbating to fetish porn for—what he hoped was—the real thing.

He glanced at his cracked phone screen every few minutes to check in with her, making sure she hadn't changed her mind, that she was serious. From the earnestness of her messages and the speed at which she replied to his questions, he determined she meant what she said about wanting to meet. Finally, his luck was turning. He’d show that miserable bastard Faust who was the better man.

- What abt ur bf? Lol

- What about him? Not here, is he?

- Thought u were a good girl.

- Haha, not really. Are you close?

- Ya. Y r we meeting at this random place?

- I need you to promise you won't tell a soul. If you can prove that to me, maybe we can keep meeting up.

- Lol ok. I PROMISE I won't say a word����

- Thank you. Hurry, please. It's cold out!

- Be there in 5. I'll let u wear my jacket altho idk might not need it😉

- Hehe omgosh. You're making me blush.

- I'll make u do way more then blush baby. Just wait.

Sven lengthened his strides and turned the corner onto a hill leading toward the industrial area of town. Down the slope, he walked past several warehouses and legions of trucks parked inside barbed-wire fencing. It was a peculiar site to meet up, but his rendezvous insisted on a place nobody would think to look.

Betting his night would take an erotic turn, Sven popped a piece of gum in his mouth and chewed away the cigarette taste. He was seconds away from the spot she chose to meet, and his chest constricted with excitement. His boots crunched over gravel and garbage as he walked down a narrow alley between two faceless buildings. There was an open lot at the end of the lane, where he assumed she was waiting. As he made his way through the dimly lit alley, he whistled to make his presence known. The shrill tune reverberated off an overflowing dumpster to his left, and as he stepped to clear the reeking trash receptacle, something hard and blunt swung out at eye-level and flattened him to the ground.

Dazed and blinded from the sudden strike, he tried moving his mouth, but only a bubble of blood popped from his lips. A piercing stream of sound filled his ears as the edges of his vision turned dark. A large black figure came into view above, haloed by the soggy grey sky in the deepening veil. The featureless shadow chuckled deeply before a heavy boot's tread put out his lights.

~*~

Several hours passed before Sven's eyelids shuddered. By then, his assailant had had plenty of time to tie him to a wooden chair and organize his instruments of punishment. A headache blistered through the man's skull, throbbing in his eye sockets until he gained enough consciousness to open them. When he saw the person who had knocked him out, his throat closed and the gasp ripping through came out high-pitched.

"Faust... Please... Don't—" Sven hiccoughed. "Don't do this. I'm sorry. I'm SORRY!"

Faust, who had been facing the doorway at the end of a long red runner, turned toward Sven, holding a hammer's handle in one hand while cradling the head in the other. A malicious smirk peeked out from a curtain of black hair. He took a step forward, the clomp of his leather boots echoing through the church. Each step made a menacing sound that bit down on Sven's nerves and rattled his sensitive skull.

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I know you hate me, but please, don't hurt me. I swear I'll never talk to her again!"

Faust approached, flashing the obsidian hammerhead. He tossed the tool in his grip and stuck his hand into his pocket, producing several five-inch nails.

"No! God, no, please! Faust! Don't do this!"

The black-haired giant stopped to admire the curve of the hammer’s prongs. Sven looked around the empty church and saw a jerrycan taking up space in a nearby pew. He immediately started struggling against the jute rope binding his wrists and ankles to the chair as Faust drew nearer, smile uncoiling.

"I already gave you the chance to never talk to her again. Remember?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry means fuck all to me. You should know that. The only reason you left the campsite with your dick intact is because of the witnesses," Faust said, then spun around with his arms out, showcasing their solitude. "Now, it's just you and me."

"Please don't," Sven muttered through swollen lips. "Fuck, I'll do anything!"

"There's nothing you can do. Nothing a sorry sack of human waste can provide this world to make me change my mind."

"SHE LIED!"

Faust jingled the nails in his jacket, reminding Sven who held the weapon.

"Whatever she told you... It's not true! I was at the party, but I didn't do anything to her!" Sven's voice cracked.

"Oh... So you didn't follow her into my bedroom?"

"No! I talked to her for a minute, and that's all. That's all, I swear, Faust. Don't kill me."

The stomp of boots neared the altar where Sven struggled in the chair. He twisted to loosen the rope and slipped one hand out. Faust grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the arm of the chair, readying a nail between his lips as he gripped the hammer. Sven let out a scream, stifled instantly by the hammerhead. Faust wedged the metal between his teeth and hissed.

"Shut the fuck up, or I'll use this to smash your teeth out like a goddamn window. Understand me?"

Sven nodded and quaked as Faust placed the tip of the nail against the soft, flat part of his forearm.

"Stay still. If I fuck up and hit the Radial or Ulnar artery... You could bleed out before I'm done. Gotta get it right between the bones." Faust slapped the pale skin to reveal blue veins. He pressed the nail’s tip in place and rose the hammer above his head, bringing it down and stopping short of the head as Sven shrieked.

Faust cackled. "Jesus Christ, dude. Did you really think I was gonna nail you to a chair?"

Sven groaned, relieved and moist with cold sweat. "Faust, I'm serious. Please, man. You gotta believe me."

His dark laughter continued, bouncing off the high ceilings, the wooden pews and polished floors. As Sven let out his own nervous chuckle, Faust brought the hammer down in one swift pull, then slapped his hand over Sven's gaping mouth to stifle the screams. Howling, Sven rattled his head back and forth as a searing bolt of pain tore through his right arm, crackling in his shoulder where it burned and burned.

Faust tore his phone out of his back pocket and brought up a video, slamming the screen into Sven's face. The video of him grabbing Faith in his room while he was states away watching the live feed from the camera he'd set up on the desk.

"I knew these little cameras would come in handy. See? I know what you did, you stupid fuck. And you know what else? I would have just beat the shit out of you had I not stopped by your place before our little meeting."

Sven whined, tears pouring from his eyes in steady streams.

"Oh, yeah. That's right. I went into your room... Saw some interesting things on your computer. At first, I thought it was just standard fucking creep shit. Snuff porn, torture... Teen girls. None of that surprised me... Until I dug around and found your little stalker file buried in your folders. You didn't even encrypt it. How fucking stupid are you?"

"I'm sorry," Sven shook.

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

"I'm sorry for touching her. I should have left her alone."

"What'd you think was gonna happen? That she wouldn't tell me? Or that I wouldn't believe her? And now I know you've been following Faith around, taking pictures of her, you fucking predator. And what about those other women, huh? You sorry about them, too?"

"Yes! I'm sorry. I know I have problems! I'm trying to get help. Please, Faust. If you let me go, I promise I'll do it. I'll get better. I haven’t hurt anyone!"

Faust shook his head slowly, grunting in refusal. "No. I meant what I said when I told you I'd crucify you if you went near Faith again. I'm doing the world a favour."

Sven hung his head and bled from the grievous wound pinning him to the chair, shuddering weakly from his injuries. Faust would never relent. He'd witnessed the drummer's cold disdain, the malignant hatred living inside that made him turn to the dark with open arms. Faust wasn't an actor. He pledged himself to the darkness with unyielding conviction, never one to take such things lightly. This realization depleted Sven's will to reason with the man.

Faust gripped another thick nail and drove it through Sven's left arm, smiling as blood dripped from the wood onto the church altar. The violent yelps filled Faust with morbid delight as he pressed the bloodied hammer under his victim's chin and raised his face.

"You're gonna die tonight, Sven."

"What makes you better than me? You'll be a murderer," Sven stuttered. "You hurt people, too."

"You and I are not the same. Don't ever compare yourself to me. You're a coward, and I warned you. Tread on what's mine, and I'll destroy you. That's what I said."

"All this over a girl? Are you fucking crazy!?"

Faust stooped to one knee, looking up at Sven as though the insult had cut him. Faust's brows arched, bottom lip jutting outward as he studied Sven, who closed his eyes. Then, Faust rose to his feet, leather stretching from the motion. Faust tapped his chin, smiled, and leaned over to whisper, "yes... Totally fucking crazy."

With a powerful kick to the chest, Faust sent the chair and Sven toppling backward. He then unzipped his pants, pulled out his manhood and giggled as he emptied his bladder on the weeping man. While Sven cried and moaned, Faust closed his zipper, whistling merrily. He left Sven on his back and snatched the jerrycan from the pew, taking slow, calculated steps while twisting off the cap and dousing the altar in gasoline.

As the gas trickled, Sven's desperation mounted. He could not flail, so he screamed. Faust gently reminded him what he'd do to Sven's teeth if he carried on shouting. The pinned man blubbered and begged, but Faust ignored his pleas. Inside his head, all Faust heard was the sound of flames rushing into a circle around Sven, crackling over the carpet and up the old church's wooden beams. By the time the roof caught fire, Faust had planned on being long gone.

"Please, Faust... You'll regret this! I know you're a serious person, but this is too far. You won't be able to live with yourself!"

"Wrong. I couldn't live with myself knowing I let a vulture like you walk this planet freely." Faust poured a trail down the floor runner, far away from the altar. He tossed the can aside and looked up at the Catholic saints' stained-glass portrayals and Jesus at the center of it all, staring down with sad eyes. Faust took a book of matches from his pocket and ripped one from the bunch, running its tip across the ignitor strip until a small flame burst to life. Faust flicked the match to the ground without a second thought, and the flame ate up the gasoline trail swiftly. The church was illuminated, and the colourful glass windows came to life. Faust raised his eyes to the forlorn Jesus and leered while the fire spread.

He did not stay to admire his work or revel in the cries of a man burning alive. Faust fled before the fire consumed the church, not once looking back or wondering if his victim had somehow escaped. He trudged through puddles of slush, hair swinging in the wind, white shadows of breath leaving his mouth.

It was time to get back to finish the tour. But he had one more stop to make.

~*~

Faith left the mall after helping close the book store. She received small smiles and nods from the mall staff as they locked doors and unfolded security gates. Some of the people she had spoken to before, and some she had only seen in passing. Though she returned their pleasantries, inside Faith was fretting. She tried not to worry about her boyfriend or ask where he was under strict orders to go about her day as usual.

She stepped into the evening air as the sun sank, taking the blue from the sky along for the descent. Wisps of white cloud stretched across the pink and violet above. Faith took in a deep breath and walked to the bus stop situated between a movie theatre and a dollar store. She popped her earbuds in and turned on a song that reminded her of Faust; one he wouldn’t like. His music taste had no room for the upbeat indie rock she enjoyed. Still, she smiled when the lyrics reminded her of him.

The scent of cigarette smoke caught her attention, and she looked around, finding no culprit. She wondered where the smell came from if nobody was around but soon forgot when the city bus appeared in the distance. It had to make a long trek around the parking lot before it pulled up at the movie theatre. Faith readied her bus card to scan as another cloud of smoke enveloped her senses.

Faith whirled around, and there he was, all black and leather, white teeth clutching the filter of a cigarette. Faust smiled, his words bolting from his mouth as she clamped her arms around him and crushed her face into his chest. The leather and musk brought tears to her eyes. She ripped out her earbuds and tried not to weep.

He hushed her, lifted her off the ground and retreated into the shadowed alley between the theatre and the store. By the time the bus pulled up, Faust had pressed her against the brick wall behind the building.

"Faust. Oh my gosh, where have you been? I was so worried," Faith gasped.

"Sh, don't ask questions, baby." Faust smothered her mouth, holding her thighs around his waist.

"Mm—I love you. Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re here! I love you so freaking much."

"I know you do," Faust breathed against her lips. "I love you, too, babe."

"Tell me where you've been!"

Faust shook his head and kissed her neck instead. She raked her fingers through his hair, knocking his hood down so she could see him unobstructed.

"Told you... Don't ask... Mmkay?... Stop asking... Just let me... Mm—fuck!"

Faith pulled his pelvis inward with her thighs, rubbing against his crotch and the heavy bullet belt wrapped around his hips. In their cloud of lust, Faust pushed his black jeans down just enough to free his erection.

"Fuck, I love your little skirts. Makes it so easy," Faust murmured.

The thought of Faust showing up disquieted her, but his lips on her skin and his desire thwarted these anxieties for a while. She set aside her questions, happy to have him in her arms again and overcome by arousal. When he stretched her panties aside and pushed into her, they both froze in expressions of excruciating ecstasy. Faust tilted his head back and closed his eyes, and Faith clutched his shoulders, already writhing from the intense fulfillment between her legs.

Just as she thought Faust might drop her, he bent his knees and hoisted her higher up on the wall. In his arms, she weighed close to nothing. She missed feeling tiny against him.

"Miss my cock?" He growled in her ear.

"Yes, baby. Oh my gosh, of course, I missed it. I missed my big man."

"Yeah? Fuck, I miss my little pussy," Faust breathed. "Mm, show me those gorgeous tits."

Faith unbuttoned her work polo and stretched the collar down around her breasts for Faust to bury his face. Though there wasn't an abundance of flesh to lose himself in, Faust shivered from the first taste of her nipples. With muted groans of pleasure, he rammed into her until Faith could no longer contain her cries, unaccustomed to his girth. Faust absorbed her whimpers with his mouth, coaxing her tongue until she only hummed.

He felt ferocious from the last twenty-four hours. If he could make Faith scream without drawing attention, Faust would have slammed her into the wall and fucked her until she shredded her vocal cords. He had to keep a low profile. Even visiting Faith was a considerable risk, but one he relished taking as she clamped her thighs and rutted against him.

He supported her ass in both hands and shifted off the wall to fuck her standing up. While he took her this way, she wrapped her arms around his neck and whimpered, whispering, "yes, fuck my pussy hard, big boy. Oh, I love that big cock inside me."

Faust unhooked and held her out so he could watch her breasts jiggle with every bounce. "You still taking your birth control? I'm gonna fucking bust so hard inside you, baby."

"Yeah. Yeah, baby, do it. Fill my pussy, please. I want your cum."

Her dirty talk and sweet sobs for his cock pushed him over the edge. He cradled her head as he pushed her against the wall and throbbed between her legs until empty. Faust pulled out and immediately turned her around and bent her over to watch globs of fresh cum dripping from her wet slit. He used one finger to push some of it back inside and had her suck off the rest. Afterward, he pulled up his pants and compressed her against the wall, one hand over her mouth while the other worked her clit in gentle circles. Faust didn't stop until she squealed and shuddered against him, muffled in his jacket and writhing from the manual orgasm.

When Faith calmed down, he released her and stepped away, pulling a cigarette from the squished pack in his jacket pocket. The lighter's flame created an orange halo around his face and promptly died. He smoked like nothing had happened while she fixed her skirt, buttoned her polo and zipped up her coat.

Faith smiled up at her lover, the night blotting out most of his features.

"I'm so glad you're home," she said.

"Not for long," Faust exhaled.

Her heart quivered. "Wait, what?"

"I gotta go back."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"What? No! But... You just got back," said Faith.

Faust shrugged, his leather jacket speaking for him. The evening matured, consuming the details of her hurt expression until the streetlamps along the road came to life.

"Why did you come here?"

Faust took one last long haul off his cigarette and flicked it down the alleyway. "Listen to me, Faith... You need to quit asking questions. I'm serious. The more questions you ask, the worse it'll be. And you and I did not see each other tonight. As far as you know, I'm on tour. Understand?"

"Yes," Faith said to appease him.

"I want to stay, trust me. But I can't. You know why. All the answers you want, you already have. Don't keep bugging, don't mention it ever again."

"I want to go with you," she whispered.

"No. You stay. Go to your classes, go to work, go visit your parents. Everything normal. And I don't want you moping around either. You put on that pretty smile, and you pretend for me. I'll call you in a couple of weeks before the last show and arrange a way for you to get there."

"What do you mean you’ll call in couple of weeks?" Faith whined. “What about goodnights?”

"I don't have a phone anymore."

"Why—? Oh, um... Okay. I understand."

Faust gathered the girl up in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Good girl. I love you, and I miss you."

"I love you, too."

He tipped her face up and sensed tears forming in her eyes. Faust shook his head. "No crying. We'll see each other very soon. Just a couple more weeks."

"I know," she sighed.

"I love you more than anything, Faith. Now, go catch your bus. Should be here in a few minutes."

"But what about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm on tour. I'm not even here," he explained.

Faust kissed her again, smoothed his hands over her shoulders and turned her to face the bus stop. He urged her along. "No looking back. Hop on the bus and go do your schoolwork."

"Okay," she said, determined to make him proud. Faith walked out of the shadows and into the lamplight hovering over the depot. Across the lot, the city bus pulled in, and though she longed to turn around to see Faust watching over her, she kept her eyes forward and waited. When the bus pulled up, and the doors drew back, she stepped onto the platform and smiled at the driver as she scanned her pass. Faith took a seat in the back and put in her earbuds. She searched through a list of bands and selected the only one whose logo was illegible. As she pressed play, she listened to the immediate assault of the drums, their constant and violent beat. Faith smiled—warm in her chest and between her legs.

[smiledog15578]

This man never gives up

This will probably be my last post since it’s getting boring but let the explaining ensue:

The age lying thing (imma put into bullet points):

I thought he and others in the discord was my age

I wanted to show ty my nsfw art cause I trusted him the most

I showed him, he liked it, and he drew art for it it was just a good time pretty much

Later on I realized he was not the same age so a huge oh fuck he’s gonna yell at me moment (probably not actually but I know adults can be very worried about that stuff which is understandable and right of them to do)

I don’t remember when I lied about my age exactly but I do remember I did it because I was worried I was going to be in big trouble and I didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable and ruin our friendship

I finally told him my age and I apologized sincerely. We calmly talked about it, he took away the more adult servers i could see (I never went in there after I found out and didn’t like going in there in the first place cause I’m not for nsfw stuff then you think), and then he put a “minor” tag on me so everyone knows. Tbh that was a huge relief and I’m glad he did that cause it was calmly resolved

I never sent nsfw art again unless it was in the cursed chat (which is harmless cause we all thought the stuff in that chat was well cursed so it was mostly shits and giggles)

However that being said I find it weird that he asked to see my nsfw art after I sent a shitpost edited version of it when he knew I was a minor and already told me that he was uncomfortable with what I did before hand

I do understand that it’s wrong. It was VERY wrong of me to do and I am sorry for what I did. I should of asked before hand but be being the dumbass teen I was I didn’t ask and I know my teen friends send nsfw all the time so yea I admit fault to that. Again I find it weird you asked me for nsfw when you knew I was a minor. Also I thought you told me you were in your 20s? That’s why I thought it was weird that an unknown source told me that you were 19 cause I remember you saying specifically “in my early 20s...” (this was after I told him my age btw)

The asexual thing:

When? You never told me you were asexual? The only thing I knew personally that you were transgender.You just outted yourself on that one LMAO. even if you are asexual it doesn’t make up for the fact that you sexualize Mark but critique others for sexualizing other characters or youtubers. And it’s fine to find him hot but that’s just a weird double standard. Don’t say you didn’t sexualize Mark cause I remember things that you said that ere sexual but won’t say it in public cause that’s personal info

Whatever is happening here:

I’m glad we were friends from the time being. When I left I was kinda having Stockholm syndrome since you were the only one at the time who actually let me talk about things without feeling weird for it. I am grateful that you gave me affection to a weird degree but still appreciated. The reason why I left so early was because I’ve had so many people that told me that you were bad news. I trusted my gut and finally left you and blocked you. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d get like this so I didn’t tell anyone but one person you knew of because I was too scared to tell you. Low and behold I was right. You ARE exactly like this. Also this IS petty playground drama but ironically enough, you keep playing in this drama to prove that thousands of people that they’re wrong even though most of us remember clearly what happened. gaslight and manipulation much? I don’t usually like using those words since it’s used in every Twitter drama I’ve seen but this is actually the case☠️. The fetishizing white liberal thing idk who you’re talking about cause that could be anyone I’ve met but whoever that person is that wasn’t the only person who told me (not giving names cause again, privacy). Dude it’s one thing if it was just me and you fighting but this is SO many people telling me how bad you are. I’m guessing the grown white man is either jack or Ethan and sure they’re a grown white men but like- the stuff you bring up isn’t your business. I hate when you or others think you have the right to yell at strangers for the tiniest things when you don’t even know them personally. It’s overall rude and not in your place to do so. And I can get if it’s something big like say- that dream youtubers fan base doing dumb shit but when you bring up how jack was being a bit needy when his own father died? Or that you were saying jack was a bad cat owner that you don’t even know or own (it wasn’t anything like beating but the cat ate tinsel which is hurtful to cats but for fucks sake so many people I know have had pet accidents it’s not uncommon)? Or saying Ethan is milking unus annus when Mark does the same thing? Bruh you seriously need to reevaluate yourself.

Anywaysssss again I wanted to leave this in the past but alas ty still brings it up to this day and says he HATES me (which idc get over it you’re an adult) so that’s my explanation. If y’all have any further questions or complaints please send me an ask and we can sort it out! And I’m not a good person either I know I’m an asshole even though people say I’m not. When you attack my friends I’m going to get upset and tell the whole truth.

[qqueenofhades]

so…now that we all know what you DISLIKE about star wars (and 400% fairly so, you have my full support here)…

what drew you into the universe, what keeps you around?

favorite characters, ships (OTPs or actual spaceships lol), overall themes, do you have a favorite random weird creature or robot that you adore? whatever you wanna talk about!

go off honey (again, but supportively 💖💖💖)

tax paid: the very nerdy star wars punk vest i made and the even nerdier matching vest i made for starsky

Lmaooo, entirely valid. You were like "star wars?" and I was like the drunk person at the bar who can't stop shouting about how much their ex sucks. But now that I have gotten all that off my chest, let's talk about why I love it (since if I didn't love it, I wouldn't have such strong opinions). Basically my feelings on the OG SW trilogy are similar to my feelings on the OG LOTR trilogy, as that tumblr post floating around somewhere put it: sure, they have flaws, but also, they're perfect. I have a complicated relationship with the prequels, as do we all, since George Lucas cannot write dialogue or direct actors to save his life (stick to what you're good at, George, hire other people to do the rest), but even they have their moments. Like. Hit me with that "Across the Stars" love theme, John Williams. Gahh. Just like that.

Because... Star Wars wasn't actually this omnipresent corporate global entertainment monolith when it started out. It was a dorky low-budget indie sci-fi film in the 1970s which everyone thought was going to bomb. But it told a simple and compelling story in an interesting way, everyone agrees that ESB is one of the best films/sequels ever made, and then ROTJ gave it a happy ending while it was still okay to do that. My main thematic gripe with the Disney trilogy (I will try to keep those to a minimum, lol, but I have to bring it up to compare) is that it very clearly fell into the "actual happy endings are naive and unrealistic and a cynical postmodern audience won't accept anything less than things being Bad" trap that, yet again, we have GOT to thank for. It obviously existed to some degree before that, but GOT blew it up to huge levels, where the only valid situation or character is that which is Grimdark and Depressing. Which, in my view, misses the heart and soul of what SW is all about??

Like. ESB is genuinely dark. ANH was this fun plucky little sci-fi film where the scrappy good guys won the day against the Nazi stand-ins, as they were supposed to, and then ESB comes along (speaking of John Williams, let us all chant together, DUH DUH DUH DUHDUHDUH DUHDUHDUH, DUH DUH DUH DUHHHH DUHHH DUHHH DUHHHH) and things go... wrong. Leia and Han are on the run for most of the movie, then get captured and tortured by the Empire and and betrayed (however unwillingly) by Lando. The Rebellion is attacked on Hoth (I tell you, those fuckin AT-AT walkers were SCARY when you see it as a young kid for the first time), and forced into hiding. Luke loses his hand, doubts Obi-Wan and Yoda and realizes that his mentors are fallible, makes dumb mistakes, and of course gets hit with The Most Famous Line In Movie History. But it's also just adrenaline and excitement. THE ASTEROID FIELD! THE HAN-LEIA BANTER! THE FIRST LUKE-VADER DUEL! THE FACT THAT YOU HEAR TWO FRICKING NOTES OF THE IMPERIAL MARCH AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAHHHH!

But also then... Return of the Jedi. It gets shat upon for the Ewoks and reusing the Death Star as the Big Bad and being supposedly cheesy and not as Thematically Dark as ESB. Which is all kinda silly, in my opinion, but also, can we talk about Luke Skywalker's character arc and how he chooses possibly the most radical compassion ever demonstrated by a hero in an action movie, let alone a space opera. He insists that Anakin Skywalker is still in there somewhere and puts his own neck on the line to prove it. Luke doesn't save the galaxy by being a Badass Jedi. He saves it by throwing away his lightsaber and saying "I will not fight you, Father." He saves it by trusting that even in the depths of darkness, Anakin can come back from the charred ruins of Darth Vader and finally do what he was supposed to do all along. He can end Palpatine for good and all (we don't talk about "Somehow Palpatine has returned" because it's nonsense, obviously). Anakin can avenge the Jedi and what was done to him and all the lies he believed and the pain he wreaked on the galaxy, even then. It's not too late. It's not too late. Like. I don't care if this is Lightweight or Childish or whatever. It makes me CRY every time I watch it. Especially the moment where Luke takes off Anakin’s helmet and sees how ruined he actually is under there, and yet the downfall and death of the trilogy’s chief villain is not triumphant at all but instead utterly heartbreaking. “You were right about me Luke... tell your sister... you were right.”

Excuse me, I need to just /CRIES INTENSELY/

Luke won't be tempted to the dark side for his own sake, but Leia's ("If you will not join me, then perhaps she will"). I likewise hold firmly that Anakin/Vader is one of the best movie villains/antiheroes of all time and likewise have many feelings and Strong Opinions about his arc, prequel writing clumsiness and eye-rollingly tepid love story aside. (See: he and Obi-Wan were deeply in love and in a way they still are, don't @ me. I have no problems with Padme and obviously stan Natalie Portman at all times, but Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is the real love story, the heart of the prequels, and in some ways even the subsequent movies, the end.) And “so this is how democracy dies, with thunderous applause” is... raw af as a line. For being in a Star Wars prequel movie. What?? (Also, the Revenge of the Sith novelization had no business being as good as it was. If only that dude had also written the movie.)

Anyway, my point is: the OG trilogy had plenty of moments of staggering emotional weight and where things genuinely sucked for the good guys and the outcome wasn’t entirely clear. The difference is that it didn’t choose to dwell on them, and it allowed for a transformative fictional space where a happy ending, fiercely fought for and squarely earned, was the right outcome. We didn’t need to go back thirty years later and make everything suck for fear that a cynical modern audience couldn’t connect with it otherwise. (Like I said, we didn’t need the new movies at all, but Disney heard that Cha-Ching of the Almighty Dollar). Star Wars was sci-fi, sure, but it also had the fantasy elements that allowed a happy ending to be the right choice for what we saw the characters go through and the philosophy that carried us through the original trilogy.

Likewise it’s just... Peak as far as dynamics go. C-3PO the fussy metal butler who worries about Everything and R2-D2 who is the droid embodiment of YOLO? Flawless. Sassy scruffy space pirate and badass politician warrior princess bicker constantly, butt heads, drive each other crazy, and then fall in love? Iconic. (And has shaped my ship tastes for... all of eternity, oops.) The above-discussed transformation of Luke Skywalker, whiny ordinary teenage kid, to the truly great man who fulfills what Obi-Wan, Yoda, AND the rest of the entire Jedi order couldn’t manage to do, because of their own flaws and blind spots and black-and-white moral views that didn’t know what to do with a man who loved as passionately as Anakin Skywalker, for better or for worse? The guy who managed to save the galaxy with love? STAN.

So... what? The Disney trilogy decides to retcon all that, throw everything that they’ve fought for out the window, make Han, Leia, and Luke miserable and rejecting the roles they grew into in the original trilogy, and die without ever really reuniting or seeing each other again as a trio? The underlying message was that “these happy endings aren’t satisfactory/realistic/sophisticated enough” and idk, maybe it’s just the shitshow of the last few years, but I’d like to see some entertainment that had the cojones to tell me that despite all the darkness and despair, maybe there’s a chance for hope. (”Rebellions are built on hope,” thank you Only Valid New Star Wars Movie Rogue One.) And Rogue One worked so well, despite being utterly GUTTING as all the heroes died one by one, because we knew what was coming next (A New Hope) and that their sacrifice was going to be worth it. I don’t care if that’s “realistic” or not. As I’ve said before, that’s what stories are for, and if I only wanted things that were Real Life, I would only read the news. Besides, the idea that happy endings never happen in reality is equally bullshit. We as a culture need to accept that more, instead of finding reasons to tear everything down.

So just... yes. The original trilogy might have flaws, but also, it’s perfect. And do I want to rewatch it all now? Kinda.

(Anyway. I warned you this was gonna be long. Oh look, it’s long, and I’m sure there is even more I could say, but still. Ahem.)

sleepover weekend asks