#like even when i went to my little catholic private school

[cath-lic]

i literally do not understand how prosperity gospel and evangelicals have gotten this far. like have u even LOOKED at the bible??? does luke 18:25 mean nothing to you?????

[newjenns]

newest school shooting hits me a little harder

[fellthemarvelous]

Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.

Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.

Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.

Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.

I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.

As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.

Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.

And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.

First of all.

FIRST OF ALL...

Aziraphale has a mind of his own.

Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.

Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.

He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.

He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.

He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.

He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.

He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.

Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.

You get that, right?

Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.

People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.

Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.

And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.

And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.

But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.

What did he give them?

We all know what it is!

Let's say it together!

He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.

And then what did he do after that?

Ooooh, yeah, that's right.

God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.

Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.

This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.

We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.

But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.

Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.

And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.

He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.

Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.

But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.

But then The Metatron said this....

The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.

It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.

But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.

Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.

He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.

But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.

Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.

Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.

Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.

And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.

What the actual fuck, y'all.

Like seriously.

I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.

It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.

People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.

Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.

I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.

[faunandfloraas]

Aussie question time: when I find out an idol is American/Canadian, their image in my mind completely changes because now it’s like “Oh I know exactly who you are, I grew up with your type around me” there are subtleties that I’m going to understand that others might not. So with all that said, I’ve been curious about what that’s like (if you experience it) w the skz aussies (throw in a lily if you’re feeling it -v-) 🎤

this is wayyyyyy too long so I'm putting it under a read more- also disclaimer: i dont know these guys and these are just my opinions, dont take em too srs <3

Hmmmm... Well I guess I'll start with Felix- I've said it before a bunch but the whole "Felix is a tiny uwuw baby sweet summerchild who is just such a baby" etc. etc. has made me laugh from the get go- because Yep! he is incredibly sensitive and sweet natured and kind and he cries a lot- 100% that is true. Dont think I'm saying it's not. But like. He also grew up in western sydney, he grew up in a area that if you google it one of the first suggestions is "is it safe" but then at the same time he went to private catholic school im pretty sure. and i saw pics from back then that he'd posted back in the day of cool little felix with his gold watch and his fade and all his little homeboys looking rowdy on the train- I know that kid and while that kid can also be sweet and sensitive, he's not incapable and hes not a baby. Good recent example was when he went on that Jewel box show with the gay dudes and people were acting like he was *so uncomfortable* and sooooo out of his element and so this and so that- theres gay dudes all over sydney, there's gay dudes all over australian media- the idea felix couldnt handle that was simply laughable to me- but it kinda shows how many outside perceptions of him still very much fall into that vaguely infantalizing thing. Like when he was the one who was happy to go up to adam levine and dj snake in that skz talker while the other boys were much more shy? that didnt shock me at all. felix went to korea as a whole teenager laregly against his parent wishes- he's actually quite an outgoing and brave guy. Outgoing guys can still be sweeties, though- one doesn't negate the other.

One other aspect of Felix i think a lot of fans just gloss over but is easily noticeable by me is that he can kindaaaaaa be ... a lil bitchy? like he's never ever mean or cruel dont get me wrong- but he has a slight bitchy streak, he rolls his eyes AND he's actually much more sarcastic than people bring up? Again- he does it a lot with Chan and that doesnt shock me- they both are aussie boys, Chan will get it and I think Felix can very much be himself with Chan, he doesn't necessarily feel the need to put up an extra air of like... Sweetie boy-ness? bc when he calls chan a cunt on live chan just laughs and goes OI!! so yuh the main thing with felix is while i do think hes a little sweet guy, ive never from the get go had a hard time seeing him outside of that box, too. Also maybe that's a lil bit aussie humour slipping under the radar here or there 🤔

Chan to me from the get go too was pretty much like. Prototypical overachieving aussie Good Boy. Like, i had a drafted post i never posted bc it was too niche- but it was essentially about how he speaks about sports and the like, and it just said "We get it. You went to zone carnival" which was the sporting event that the kids who got gold or 1st place were sent to. If you went to zone, you were the Successful kid. I think these days most fans perceive him as... a bit of a goofy guy? but I have gone through the archives and i have seen the comments from people talking about how chans such a bad boy- thats shit is so funny to me bc you can show me every iteration of chan and I'd never, ever think he's a bad boy. Like he wishes he was a bad boy, he kinda cosplays a bad boy- even him referencing swearing bc of his australianess and shit over the years makes me giggle a little bc i feel like felix def 100% swears all the time but he doesnt like Smirk about it too much? he doesnt really bring it up? things like that stand out, it to me feels very like Oh yeah I'm this naughty Aussie boy who swears hehe and then all the australians are like ? Girl we all do huh lmao

Otherwise, I dont have as much to say about chan as i do about felix, funnily. Like idk people might perceive differently to me, but nothing too far off? I will say that given Chan's success and the fact he was seemingly a very well achieving kid too (maybe not debuting for such a long time is part of this) he is WAY more humble than I'd expect. Like not to besmirch Australian men but a lot of them can be really loud and cocky, especially the famous successful ones (any sport star) it's almost encouraged to be like that if you're a dude (but only to a certain degree, anything beyond a certain point and you'll be roasted lol) So I have to give credit where it's due and say that Chan *Seemingly does have a very good nature and I appreciate that about him! Its probably why I like him so much bc he actually very much doesn't give off those vibes- he doesn't seem like that overly macho cocky bloke I know very well. So that makes him good fun for me- he's very successful and he's confident and yet he doesn't activate any of my bitch instincts- thats impressive! I don't know him, so I'll never know for sure of course, i feel like i need to make that disclaimer but still I do believe he has a good heart, and he tries so hard! and I appreciate that.

Lily is weirdly like Chan. like she's hilariously like chan tbh- I wonder how they really get along sometimes bc I feel like they might look at each other and be like Hm... we the same............ ? Lmao I will say though, lily is a bit out of pocket and half of that I believe is her personality but half of it is just.... I think she's just australian 😭 like i cant lie you get me as a teenager to early 20 something and put me on a live and I can promise I would be saying as much ?? shit. Like, I do think Australians are a little loud and not necessarily always.... tactful (again Not everyone, but yk.) lily certainly fits that bill to a T. I appreciate that regardless of her idolhood she does still say things that maybe she shouldn't, she shrugs off a shoplifting confession, she says she'd murder someone if she had to, she bought and wore a shirt that fans quickly tracked down and found out all the proceeds were going to Palestine- she would have known what that suggested. she clearly had this goal of being an idol since she was a baby, like literal baby but she hasn't sacrificed her broader personality, even the parts that could potentially be off-putting to those idol fans that expect perfection and nothing else. I appreciate that in her! and I hope she never loses her little weird girl spark bc it does make her very dynamic! Her slightly gruff aussie girlness is very fun for me to see in the idolsphere bc it def feels out of place, but in a refreshing way...

so yeah. Idk if this was sensical, I was making dinner so I put my phone down a bunch and it's probably disjointed but thats my opinion... my thoughts, my ideas! Idk my take on them. Thanks for asking 🫡

[jstarr86]

This story will be posted over on my Wattpad as all my other chapter work is, please head over there for stories containing multiple parts and enjoy 🥰

CH 1

1992

I stepped out of the car, the moving van pulling up behind it. Florida all the way across the country. I didn’t know what to feel, it was pretty so far but I was kinda scared it was different and I didn’t know anyone. I saw my mom talking to someone and walked up to her. She paused looking down at me a smile gracing her face.

“This is Natasha, Sweetheart this is Ms Lisa” I waved she seemed really nice.

“Hi.” I said shyly. A little boy ran up a large smile on his face as he stopped looking at me.

“Hi I’m Joe.”

“Hi,”

“What’s your name?”

“Natasha.”

“Wanna play?”

“Um sure ok.”

“Cool come on.” I followed him not knowing I’d be doing it forever or that I’d met my best friend.

3 Weeks Later

I was playing with Joe, we’d played every day since I’d moved in. It was summer so he was really the only person I knew right now, but I was ok with that he was really fun to be around

“Hey do you wanna go to my cousins with me I’m sure no one will care.” He said goosing the ball

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah why not we’re going to be in school together they’re my best friends kinda like you. They’re twins.”

“Ok.”

“Joe are are ready to go? Hello Natasha.”

“Hello Ms Lisa.”.

“Mom can Natasha come.”

“If her mom there is ok with that I’m sure it’s fine.”

Getting to his cousins I followed Joe as he walked in and I already saw him talking to two boys

“These are my cousins, guys this is Natasha and this is Jon.”

“Hi.”

“Hi I’m Josh.”

Fatu twins and Anoai. I’d been friends with them since day 1 and when that used to be how they were called or triple threat. The four musketeers My best friends, my life. I was so grateful for them, they’d had my back since I moved here and I know my life wouldn’t be the same without them hell I don’t think the move or my life would be as amazing had I not met them

I’d met Joe at 6 when my family moved to Pensacola and we became next door neighbors. My father was in the Navy, I had been born in San Diego California spending the first 6 years of my life in Miramar California since my father was stationed there. TOPGUN I’m sure you’ve heard of it and it’s a real place it’s not there anymore it was moved to Nevada but back then it was also at that base. When I was 6 my father got a promotion and we moved all the way to Florida. They’d found a nice little home off base and that’s where I met Joe; He’s been my best friend since, and within weeks I was friends with his cousins Jon and Josh, those three have been inseparable their entire lives and Joe is just an extra brother instead of a cousin. Always hanging out, playing sports, watching wrestling every week, always together. I spent the summer playing with them and once school started I met more people but no one was ever like us four. We all went to school together our whole lives minus Joe's freshman year where he was at some private catholic school until he got Ms Lisa to switch him to Escambia where the twins and I were. All my classes was always with at least one of them, even though they were a year older I was smart and was skipped a grade so since I’d known them we were together. So much so that rumors always flew as we grew that it was more or like in late middle and through high school I was sleeping with all of them. My ego loves that because they were all fine as hell but was so far from the truth, for the most part. I had lost my virginity to Joe when I was 14 and he had just recently turned 16. His birthday was in May and mine was in August like the twins. Yeah we thought the other attractive but it was mostly a I feel comfortable with you do this, we always knew we were better friends and this never changed our relationship but come that Christmas season we’d both learn that someone was seeing me as more than a best friend and had for a couple years.

When we turned 12 I went from Nat to Snickers. At first I hated it but now I’m used to it. It stuck and everyone ended up calling me it. My best friends had called me it once it was clear puberty had it and it hit hard. One day I was the normal tomboyish girl not really anything and the next morning I had boobs, curves and a ass. I remember waking up freaking out crying and putting clothes on that didn’t fit me before I jumped out of my bedroom window and walking the two feet knocking on my best friends a blanket around me. He opened the window looking at me like I was crazy.

“You sick of something Nat?”

“Can I borrow some clothes?”

“Um yeah, why you have tons.” I sighed opening my blanket as his jaw dropped.

“Yeah and they don’t fit help me.” My shirt that used to be normal was to the middle of my stomach not being able to fit over my boobs and my shorts were way to small

“Holy shit.”

“Joe!”

“I um yeah come in.” He grabbed a big shirt and some basketball shorts handing me them and I quickly went to put them on. I went shopping with my mom getting all new clothes and the twins when they saw me freaked just like Joe.

“What the hell where did all that come from?”

“Where’s Natasha and what did you do?”

“Shut up.” I said embarrassed “everyone at school is gonna be saying shit.”

“And we’ll fight them. But for real you look thicker than a snicker got damn.”

“Jonathan.” I wined

“I mean Nat you woke up like that.” Joe said pointing at me.

“Yo most girls would kill for that like damn you got thick.” Josh muttered. “Lemme touch it.” I glared at him but inside something cluttered in my stomach

“Snickers.”

“What about them.”

“Nah that’s you.”

“Yeah all that booty thicker than a snicker.”

“Our snickers.”

“I hate all three of you.”

“No you don’t.” They responded and after that the name stuck

I walked into Joes room tossing my backpack. He chuckled knowing I wasn’t very happy.

“You ok Snickers?”

“Kinda.”

“Wanna talk about it.”

“I’m tired of being a virgin.”

“Oh. Well I mean we’re 15 we’ll you about to be I just turned 16 and I didn’t know you-“

“Bullshit you're my best friend you know I am when the hell have you seen me with a guy let alone you guys won’t let one near me.”

“Cause we hear how they talk about you we ain’t letting some asshole just date you to hit it and tell everyone. They care about all that.” He said pointing at me “and not this.” He said poking a finger into my chest where my heart was

“Will you.”

“Will I what?” He asked looking up from his game

“Take it.”

“Take what?”

“Joe really, ugh this is already weird, take my virginity.” He dropped the controller looking at me like I was crazy.

“What!?”

“Your my best friend why not.”

“Why me why not one of the twins?” He asked confused and it made me nervous maybe I shouldn’t have asked but I couldn’t ask the twins Jon plays to much and Josh, I couldn’t ask Josh even if I wanted too.

“I’m closer to you and Jon plays too much I’ll hear about this the rest of my life if I asked him and you know it and I can’t ask Josh. Joe I only trust you guys, please.”

“Why can’t you ask Josh?”

“I can’t.”

“Snickers.” He said making me look at him. “Oh shit do you like him, like like him like him.”

“Joe.” I whined blushing.

“Oh my god how did I not know and since when.””

“If you tell him I’ll slit your fucking throat.”

“I won’t but you like him.”

“Ugh yeah ok I like Josh”

“Since when?”

“A little while. So I can’t ask him.”

“Why not like wouldn’t that make you wanna ask him more.”

“No because what if he says no or is weird or it changes shit and if he says no it’ll bother me and I don’t wanna catch more feelings if I sleep with him Joe it’ll probably make me like him more and I can’t do that.”

“You sure about this?”

“I’d rather it be someone I trust and am comfortable with and your my best friend.”

“Ok.” I looked up at him shocked he’d said ok he got up as I looked at him.

“Where-“

“I’m not doing this and taking a chance of having a baby we’re kids we don’t need that I’m sure there’s a condom in this house.” Five minutes later he was back and locked his door holding up a foil pack. “Told ya.”

“Shut up.”

“You sure about this Snickers like once we do this you can’t take it back.”

“I’m not stupid I know that.”

“Look of you want I’ll see where uces heads at if he likes you too, then you can ask him.”

“No, cause then if he does I don’t wanna be clueless.”

“ like he’d care like that Snick you got as hell besides I think he’s a virgin too.”

“Joe”

“I’m just making sure, like this is a big step.”

“I’m a big girl.”.Joe gently touched my face lowering his lips to mine as he kissed me. It felt good but also felt weird. Slowly I got into it and we ended up on his bed. I moaned when he kissed around on my neck and he pulled back

“You ok?”

“Um yeah that, that felt good.” He nodded doing it again. We made out a while his hand sliding up my shirt. We slowly undressed as Joe would ask if I was ok or sure.

“Natasha.” I looked at him as he looked down my eyes following his before looking at him. Joe was handsome as hell they all were. “You sure about this?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me if I hurt you.” He kissed me slowly moving as I gasped it felt weird and kinda hurt but also felt good. “You good?” I nodded as he slid all the way as I winced in discomfort. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re good, move.” I replied touching his face.

Most girls I’d heard those first time wasn’t the best and it hurt and while yeah it hurt a little when Joe first started it wasn’t bad. It was different.”

“Wow.”

“What?” I asked.

“You, that,.”

“Joe.”

“What Snickers, ya can’t get shy now not after that.”

“I’m not your just funny.”

“You sure your ok?”

“Yeah Joe you didn’t really hurt me, I mean you got a big dick at least I’m assuming and it hurt a few seconds when you first started but no you didn’t hurt me.”

“Get up I need to change the sheets.”

“Um ok.”

“Snickers you bled a little that’s why I was so scared I hurt you.”

“Joe.” I said touching his face. “You didn’t hurt me, I don’t think you ever will Your my best friend and thank you.”

“Always, I always got you Snickers. One day we’ll make sure you never want for nothin.”

“I know you guys say that all the time.”

“Because it’s true we don’t care where you go what you do who you end up with we got you.”

“I know bear I love you guys too.”

“By the way you really are perfect.”

“Joe.”

“You are,”

JON POV

I looked at my twin like he was crazy, I kno he ain’t really just say that. No Fuckin way

“Snickers?” I asked as he nodded “Snickers our snickers? Natasha? Natasha Aiyana Smith?”

“Yes Jon, damn! Who the hell else you think I’d be talkin bout.”

“Not Natasha not our Snickers that’s for sure.” I replied. I was shocked he liked her like for real for real. “You do know Joe hooked up with her right uce?” He immediately got pissed. Face red and all but as my brother my twin I couldn’t not tell him.

“I hooked up with who?” Joe asked coming in with his bag, staying with us and thank god Snickers wasn’t with him.

“What!?” Josh said glaring out our cousin, and tossing his water. “Always.”

“Dang what I do?” He asked

“You hooked up with Natasha!”

“Um yeah like 6 months ago, she wanted me to take her virginity wanted it to be someone special that she trusted and said those options were me or one of you two.”

“Well uce, uce likes her?”

“What?” Joe asked looking at my twin who was pissed. “Since when?”

“For a while, damn why ain’t she come to me?”

“Because y’all joke too much and she quote loves Jon but ain’t trying to hear his mouth cause he’d never shut up and she didn’t wanna ask you cause she has a Fuckin crush on you and ain’t wanna be weird. Besides she’s known me longer and better she’s legit next door.”

“So y’all like dating?”

“No.” He laughed “that’s like my fucking sister.” He looked at Josh before speaking “why ain’t you say anything no one had a clue and I know she don’t. Otherwise I know she’s had asked you shit I even tried talk her into tellin you.”

“I ain’t think she’d like me like that shit uce we grew up together and now I can’t.”

“Why? She thinks we cute you know that so she probably do like you.”

“Well she ain’t gonna do anything now if she did you done hooked up with her.”

“So what we ain’t dating it didn’t work we work better as friends.if you had said something you’d have taken her virginity dumbass cause when she came to me I found out she likes you that’s why she wouldn’t ask you, she didn’t want you saying no and it being weird and she ain’t wanna catch feelings.”

“But you know Tash man hell people been sayin she fucking all us what she gonna hook up with me and then really feel that way uce. You know her she ain’t about to be what everyone says. Snickers ain’t-“

“Tell her or I will.” Joe said.

“Why she-“

“Do it Josh, trust me. She been feelin you uce.”

[pechaberriesandsoju]

Okay, so since a couple of yall are interested in this, I'll go ahead and say a few things. I'll put it under a read more though caus ei might ramble.

First things first, for those who don't know, I'm an ex catholic. I was born and raised in a Mexican Roman Catholic household in the middle of Texas. So you can imagine the amount of religion I had in my life growing up. I stopped being religious sometime before I graduated high school because I went to a private school that was connected to a church. And I mean heavily connected. The church was right upstairs. We had Bible classes first thing in the morning, Thursdays were our fridays, but instead of Bible class, we had like a meeting/seminar type thing where they put us through praise and worship and then sat us down in a dark room playing videos on Christianity and how the end of times were coming and you better have your act together for the rapture type shit. Didn't help that it was grades pre k to 12th. Anyways, this was also one of those schools where the main teacher/principal was gradually turning it into a cult for Jesus. How do I know? Because the rules for the end of the school trips got more intense and crazy and she insisted that only Christianity the church's way was proper. She'd get pissed at me for bringing up anything Catholic or that she deemed "evil." A 3rd grade kid brought a pet snake to school before he was picked up early? That snake is the devil and should never be brought near people or be a pet. The two Mexican students in your class are talking about how they're going to celebrate and honor the memories of their passed on loved ones for the Day of The Dead? Time to lecture them about how it's evil and the equivalent of using an ouija board for an entire class period instead of teaching them math. A student is wearing something that was cleared before the school year started and that even you had complimented yourself until a video about how anything about the supernatural or isn't related to God like Star Wars or Ghostbusters is evil? It is time to accuse that student of taking advantage of the other main teacher's wellbeing to trick her into saying yes with zero proof and when the student had a few witnesses and accuse the student of trying to brew chaos into the school.

It's the last two that happened to me personally and had caused a lot of shit before I reached 12th grade. Mom wanted me to switch schools, but I was already so far in that I just graduated out of spite. Especially because I was one of the incognito gays at the school that actually had the gall to sit there and stare her back down when she tried to sniff people out for trying to get into relationships at school. (First off, ew, Secondly, I was dating my ex online at the time lmao.)

I stopped being religious because of how I've seen how the people around me treated others who were a different religion or religious background. But also because I was getting sick and tired of the fear mongering about the end times. Especially because coming out of 2012, I had gotten intense end of the world fear cause of that December 2012 "world is gonna end" shit that happened while I was at my first middle school. So you can imagine how all of that would wear me down over time sitting in that school listening to them tell little kids and students "oh be good and follow the Lord cause the world is gonna end but also you need to do your work and focus on your future too!"

It made zero sense to me after a while, and I just was like "why should i believe any of you if you keep telling us our future plans won't matter cause God is coming for us but we still need to plan for future education?" It made zero sense.

Plus with how I was figuring out my identity at the time, and I had to deal with a lot of "you don't need medication" for a lot of health issues, including my own mental illnesses. It just made me stop being religious.

I kinda think maybe there's something out there cause humans are complex but at the same time?? It's just complicated because it just leaves a sour taste in my mouth and reminds me of the trauma I've gained.

Anyways that's some Peach/Zilla lore for you and is totally not why I give a few of my inserts religious trauma as well.

[bluravenite]

So i hadn't seen the original post since I try not to be too active here but... Im going to list off references just as a reminder 🫶 !!

A tumblr user in the ghost fandom posted about their opinion that people shouldn't write or draw dewdrop and copia as trans or emotionally complex characters. Their reasoning being:

Here's the link to the og post as well as a great reply from media nocte, which i think VERY well sums up the general argument here. "Get fucked OP."

Also this wonderful response by leafy, my love...

As well as syringe's post which even lists Tobias Forge's opinions, which OP said the papas were 'his super secret fight club level identity' which if it were true, he wouldn't be accepting Ghost band awards as himself nor with his family, nor openly interviewing about it... If it was so secret...

Tobias has even been open about other characters of his (such as Mary Goore, as mentioned per an interview) used they/them pronouns even if not INHERENTLY trans or non-binary.

He's always been openly accepting of people regardless of their gender or sexuality (this isn't to idolize him, just stating my knowledge of his values.)

My last point to op?? Here's what those "trans" people think about mine and other works.

I know i have more personal conversations with people where we have discussed how validating it can be for trans and non-binary people to write, read, explore these characters.

A reminder. Tags exist. Read the fucking tags on a fic, chances are the author wrote trans!dewdrop or "usage of cunt" in the tags or notes, and if they didn't?? It takes 3 seconds to comment "could you please add a trans character content tag please?"

As an artist myself, who originally stuck to the "stage representations of the characters" i the slowly started exploring the way i perceive their stories, how i can make MY OWN ART out of these characters that relates TO ME and MY FEELINGS and likes and opinions and such because THAT is what creativity is about. Taking what the world gives you and making it your own.

I am not trans, i am barely even nonbinary... Labels are scary, half the time i don't know who i am okay? I don't always feel like a girl, i don't always hate my body, sometimes i feel like if i live in this body for just a second longer I'll have to scratch all the skin off and crawl out of it myself... Sometimes i wish i could bind, be flat, have a deeper voice, be more masculine, sometimes i want to wear skirts that are way too short and the pretty corset from renfaire that makes my chest look so puffy and pretty... Sometimes it's nobody's fucking business... And sometimes my characters reflect what i am, what i wanna be, what i am not, and what i may never be. And just like my gender and my body?? It's nobody's fucking business.

In all my niceness and honesty. (Which are starting to run lower every time people say stupid shit in this fandom...)

Get. Fucked. OP.

Now let me get a bit more personal for a moment op... I've the posts saying you "went to a Catholic school"

As someone who grew up going to an All-girls Catholic private school, as my whole family before me had done, here's a little bit of insight.

All the shit they told you?? Yeah it causes trauma, it causes resentment and repression. Feeling disgusted and surprised when this "male character" has "female" genitals? Please ask yourself how you feel about your body first. Your mind. Why do you want to read "gay/bi men doing those activities" but not a trans man enjoying himself just as much? Would it be different if if were a ghoulette? Would it be different if the ghoulettes were the ones doing it?

OP please evaluate yourself before you OPENLY SPEAK for a community that you are not a part of, and if you ever do decide to explore your own repression, sexuality, and gender? Know that you deserve a chance at fucking up and learning about yourself. I say this from personal experiences. Making catholic school your whole personality internalizes that "sinful" feeling. That's probably why you enjoy ghost too... Not to psychoanalyze a random person on the internet but...

Get help.

Thank you.

[paisholotus]

Chapter 1

January 4th, 1996. New York City

Lana's Pov

My alarm started blaring as I sighed and rolled over, burying my face in the pillow. I'm not a morning person; I don't understand how folks can get up ready to go with smiles on their faces. Don't get me wrong, I'm an optimistic person, but I can't handle mornings.

 

I hit my alarm and sat up on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall. I need to sit on my bed for at least five minutes to collect my thoughts and make sure this shit is real. I finally get up and stretch, making my back snap. I swear, my body shouldn't sound like I've worked all my damn life at the ripe age of 15.

 

I normally have to get up about 7 a.m. for school, which starts at 9. I attend a private school in the Bronx and live in Brooklyn Brownstone. It normally takes about 30 minutes, although it can take longer on bad days.

 

But today, I wasn't going to school because it was my best friend's birthday. My best friend Jack Dawson turned 16 today, so I decided to surprise him and spend the day with him. He lives in Manhattan and attends a Catholic school, which I hate for him. Not because it's a Catholic school, but because it's simply a bad school. The school is packed with perverse teachers and asshole kids.

 

We've been best friends since I was four and Jack was five. He has a sister named Summer, who I am also best friends with. Despite the fact that they don't have as much as I do, I still treat them the same. We tell each other everything, particularly what happens within their home.

 

Their father is really abusive to them; I mean, the guy is a fucking dick to his wife and children. Mama Marry is like a second mother to me; she is very sweet and caring. She and my mother are also best friends. But Harry, that's that fucker's name, hates my family. He despises me every time I visit. So I try to come over when he is not around. 

 

Harry supposedly lost his job and is now completely out of control. I mean, he was always a little mean but never disrespectful to me or my family; now he beats Jack and Summer, and occasionally Mary when she intervenes, which happens all the time.

 

When I'm there, he'll curse at me and tell me, "to take my ass home." He's called me fat before, and my father and him had a fist fight about it. So now he'll just yell, "Go home," since he doesn't want dat ass whooped again.

 

Mary is a registered nurse at the hospital. She practically makes all the money, plus has to come home and cook for her kids and a ain't shit ass husband who would hit her if dinner ain't on time. 

 

The many times I'll sit on the phone with Jack and Summer listening to them cry or yell, shit anything they feel like, all because of their sorry ass dad. Harry has even told them that he hates them, and that shit breaks my heart. Because, what parent says that to their kids? I honestly think Mary is scared to put him out because, even though she's making the money, his name is on everything. So he has the right to that apartment, so if they choose to leave Mary wouldn't have anywhere to go. 

 

I stepped out of the shower and changed into my clothes, thinking about what I should do with my hair. I want to get braids soon because I'm tired of doing my hair every fucking morning. Every time I remove this bonnet, the back of my head looks like a flat ass pancake. Having thick, curly hair is both a blessing and a curse.

 

I chose to go half up, half down, slicking my edges and adding a few curly strands beside my head to frame my face. I know my family is already downstairs. Not gon hold you; I'm always the one who takes the longest to leave the house. But, hey, that's not my fault. Because who finna leave the house, looking like nobody cares about me? Shiid, try someone else. 

 

I have two older siblings and a baby sister. My older brother Trey, then my older sister Ciara, and finally my baby sister Stella. They were all eating at the table, and I went around it, kissing Stella's head while looking at the food they had saved me.

 

"Dang, big back community, y'all gave me the crumbs." I said, fixing my plate and laughing. "Then, give me your plate, since yo little ass wanna complain." My mother said, playfully, attempting to take my plate.

 

"Right, because who are you calling big?" My father asked, causing everyone to stop. "You big nigga that's who." Ciara said, making us bust out laughing. He poked his finger at her, trying not to laugh, and said, "Aye, watch your damn mouth!"

 

"Lana, are you going to see your little boyfriend?" Trey asked, making me glare at him. "Sir, how many times do I have to tell you that he is not my man? Okay? We are just friends, best friends." He stuck his hands up, backing off, and went back to eat his food. 

 

"Lay, how long are you going to deny your feelings for that boy? It's not like he'll reject you. You know that boy likes you; y'all have been up each other's noses since y'all were kids." My mama said, putting her plate in the sink.

 

"Ma, I'm not trying to ruin the relationship we already have. I mean, what if he doesn't see me like that, and I tell him I have feelings, and then it'll become weird? Jack trusts me as a friend, and I'd rather value that than mess up something great." I said quietly, looking down at my plate. 

 

She nodded her head and crossed her arms, smiling at me. "I respect that. But you honestly never know until you try. And I have a very strong feeling that he feels the same." She said, kissing my head. "Ight, y'all, I gotta go to work, behave at school, and love you all." She says, kissing my dad and blowing us kisses. 

 

As my dad finished his food and set his plate in the sink, "Okay, Lay, I'm going to head out too. I have to take Ella to daycare, I would take you to Jack's, but I don't want to be late." He picked up Stella and got her ready so they could go.

 

My father is a doctor who works at the downtown hospital. My mother runs Flavor Magazine, her own magazine publishing company, as an editor and publisher. My aunt runs the other one in Chicago. "It's okay, he's not that far anyway." I stepped away from the kitchen table and placed my dish in the sink. Ciara and Trey have already left, so, I'm going to leave the house now. I grabbed Jack's presents off the sofa, walking out the house.

[redwineconversation]

Selma Bacha Le Progres Interview (October 17, 2023)

Blah blah standard disclaimers apply; god I HATE invasive behavior so much it genuinely makes my skin crawl; @OL Comms Dept a PSL I beg of you; y'all know the speech by now. I don't want to commit to translating Le Progres articles on a regular basis but as is everything in life, that is subject to change.

In which the prodigal child returns from the cold, remembers Lyon's win/loss record against Barcelona, disses Lyon's men's team, and confesses love and admiration for WoSo's favorite Bad Catholic.

It was basically a fan Q&A and anyone with a Le Progres subscription will be able to find their names; however I took out the fans' names because I just don't feel comfortable outing private information like that. (See, it's that easy to be a decent human being and respect someone's privacy!!! Who would have thought!!!!)

SELMA BACHA LE PROGRES INTERVIEW

Selma Bacha: "My biggest strength is my instinct"

For one hour, the Olympique Lyonnais and French International left back talked with Le Progres readers with all the spontaneity and frankness we have come to expect from her. Without shying away from a single question. Her tenacious character, the difference in attendance for men's football compared to women's football, the support from her family, how she regards mental strength, her role models, her relationship with Wendie Renard... A Bacha with no filter!

[Fan]: Do you play any other sport apart from rugby?

I do a lot of boxing during preseason and when we're in preseason. It allows me to blow off steam. I also enjoy swimming, and because I'm such a competitor, I always have to swim against someone who swims professionally so I can improve and to improve my mental strength. I also go hiking even if I like it a little less. Ever since I was young, I really loved sports in general. In middle school, I did cross country. I wanted to do my middle school proud so I gave everything, and I finished third in the French Championship.

[Fan]: Did you play with the boys in the academy?

I started playing with the boys when I was five. I was recruited really quickly by Lyon when I was eight. But my parents got divorced at that time and I lived with my father and my brother, so I have certain male characteristics. But maybe that's what gave me my desire to win, the determination, how to be aggressive and not let anything go.

[Fan]: What would you say is the difference between men's football and women's football? The difference in attendance?

We do the same job, but female players don't bring in as much money as the men do. But we're seeing some progress, we see it with the French National Team where we often play in front of sold-out crowds. It's up to us to win over supporters, to make them proud and gain interest in us. I have a lot of confidence in that even if it's a little frustration to play the final of the Coupe de France or the Trophee des Championnes in front of a small crowd. That being said, then a game is at 9pm on a Sunday, I understand that's it is complicated for families.

[Fan]: Were you disappointed not to play the derby [against ASSE] at the Groupama Stadium?

I think I can speak for the team but we would prefer to play in front of a smaller crowd with a great atmosphere, which may have been lost if we played at the Groupama Stadium.

[Fan]: What is your best memory in the Champions League?

My first final in Kiev [Lyon beat Wolfsburg 4-1]. I wasn't even expecting to be on the team sheet and I went to the pregame meeting and I found myself starting at the age of 17. The atmosphere was incredible. Overseas, people are really interested in those types of events. Here in France, we're sleepwalking our way through it, even if after the [2019] World Cup a lot of people started to get more into women's football.

[Fan]: Other countries have overtaken women's football in France. What do you think about that?

It's not to put down our league because things were put in place and we were heard, so respect for that, but when there is a clash like Chelsea-Manchester City in England, it's hard to compete against. Discussions were had, I'm a bit young but Wendie Renard is taking part in them and things are starting to change. In July, professionalism was put in place, so it's moving forward. Slowly but surely.

[Fan]: What has been the most difficult thing in your career?

I integrated the professional group very quickly. I saw everything through rose tinted glasses at first. And when I was on the bench, I was asking the right questions of myself. I was talking with the physical fitness coach, the psychologist, the nutritionist, and I told myself I need to work twice as hard to achieve what I really wanted. I'm someone who is always very smiley and when I'm hurting, no one will know. I can internalize a lot but it will explode, I implode by myself and obviously, that's not good mentally. I have my parents, my team and my best friend, Alyssa Paljevic (former goalkeeper at Lyon), who is a shoulder to lean on. She doesn't judge me and she tells me if I'm wrong or not.

[Fan]: Are you properly supported in terms of mental health?

It depends on each individual. I often tell the youth to make sure to have a good support system. When I arrived at 16 [to the pro group], I wasn't paying a lot of attention to nutrition, to sleep, to recovery, the invisible part of training. I quickly understood you needed support and structure to achieve my objections, which are really high. When I go the [team] psychologist, it's because it helps me a lot mentally.

[Fan]: What qualities do you need to become professional?

Being good at football obviously. Beyond that, only hard work pays off. I give a lot of credit to the people working behind the scenes who put things in place for us. The invisible part of training is also really important. Beyond that, it comes down to having a lot of fun and confidence, you have to follow your instinct. Now it's my turn to ask if you want to be a professional football player? You'd like that? Right there, you can't say "I'd like to". You have to say "I want to" to send the right information to your brain and have confidence in yourself.

[Fan]: Have you stayed in contact with FC Gerland, the team you started with?

I'm the godmother of my former club which is still very dear to me. Last season, I was able to gift them jerseys thanks to my sponsor. Whenever I can go and give them advice, I do it without hesitation.

{Fan]: Do you play Fifa?

From what I'm told, apparently in the game, I'm expensive and a "cheat code"... Personally I don't really play, I prefer to relax.

[Fan]: Do you train in the morning and afternoon like the men's team?

Who told you the men's team train in the morning and afternoon? (laughter) We often have training in the morning, but sometimes we have double or even triple sessions when we come back from vacation. But yeah, we're like the men, we do the same job.

[Fan]: Do you interact with the men's team?

Yes, and besides that, once a year, during the gala for OL Foundation [Lyon charity], we're seated a table with investors and there's obviously a player from the men's team next to us. You might think they have big egos but when you get to know them, they're real softies. We see them in the cafeteria as well.

[Fan]: Was the transition post-Aulas easier for the women's team?

I don't know what's going on on their [men's team] end but from our end, Michele Kang came to see us, we had talks. We're not an easy team to handle but we're not complicated. (laughter)

[Fan]: Which players are your role model?

I'm a footballer but I don't watch a lot of football. The players who inspire, it's Karim Benzema and Cristiano Ronaldo, because they're hard workers.

[Fan]: Have you recovered from your ankle injury in Australia?

My ankle doesn't bother me anymore otherwise I wouldn't be on the field, especially because I have a long season ahead and therefore we won't want to take any risks. But it's true the sprain was no joke. I had 10 days to recover. It didn't hurt at all during the World Cup even if it was swollen. I'm not a cheat: if I'm not 100 percent it's not worth putting me on the field. So yeah, my ankle is a little unstable since, it'll roll sometimes, I'll be in pain for 30 seconds up to a minute, but that's normal. Let's just say I played my joker. At Lyon there is all the necessary medical staff, I'm in good hands.

[Fan]: Does it help you to play in your hometown?

There are advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is I was born here, all my family is here and I'm really close to my family so I have a lot of support, that really helps me. But sometimes, you just want to be alone and that's not always an option.

[Fan]: What is your relationship like with Wendie [Renard]?

Wendie, she took me immediately under her wing as soon as I integrated the pro group. She knows the love and admiration I have for her. She's in my heart, she's a big sister for me who I can always count on. Our friendship goes beyond football. When things were going badly and I thought about quitting football, she really helped me. I owe an enormous amount to her.

[Fan]: Do you think you will change clubs in the upcoming years?

That's a good question! (laughter) I'm under contract with Lyon until 2025. I have incredibly strong feelings for this club, I grew up with them. For the moment, I'm good here, I live it day by day and for the moment, I'm not imagining myself elsewhere.

[Fan]: You wouldn't want to go to Barcelona?

Why would I choose Barcelona? (laughter) I'm not afraid to test myself in a new league. Each year, in my room, I take a blank piece of paper and write down my objectives. Last season [2021-2022], I wasn't expecting to be be the youngest player in the Champions League, have the most assists, be nominated to the Ballon d'Or... I couldn't believe it. But when you play for the team and you put the team first, the individual stats will follow by themselves.

[Fan]: Do you practice a lot shooting from afar?

Let's just say it's instinct. I have a very strong left foot. The assistant coach for the French National Team teases me a lot about that: he tells me I have a more powerful shot than certain male players but I need to put them on target (laughter), so I know what I have to improve on. I'd say that above all else, my strength, it's my instinct. I always follow it: if I have to take a shot, I'll shoot, if I have to get my teammate to score, I'll do it. I don't think just about me. I'd rather have an assist than score, even if scoring, it's a really special feeling.

[Fan]: Which team has the best style of play in your eyes?

Olympique Lyonnais (laughter). Otherwise I'd say Barcelona, because I am a player who likes ball possession and at the top level, the Spanish players are the best. I like to watch Barcelona.

[Fan]: Who was the best team you played against?

That's a good question. I'd say Chelsea and Barcelona.

[Fan]: And the best player according to you?

There are a lot. At the moment, I'd say Eugenie Le Sommer. Aitana Bonmati (Barcelona) as well, she's really good.

[Fan]: Do you chip in training?

Ball control, nutmeg, shooting, yes. But not really chips.

[Fan]: What is it like being an undisputed starter with the French National Team?

It's an honor! My team knows how much I struggled and all the tears I shed. Compared to other players, I integrated it a little later but I never gave up. There were nights when I was crying at home and I was thinking: "what am I missing?" And one day, when Lyon was at Issy-les-Moulineaux, I learnt that I would be called up because Sakina Karchaoui was injured. At first I couldn't believe it and I was even afraid the coach was pranking me. I screamed really loudly in the bus, everyone was really happy for me. Being at Clairefontaine, seeing the castle, it was a childhood dream. I'll never forget my first game against Kazakhstan, especially because I was a starter. And then I scored in my second game against Wales! I couldn't dream it any better. Now, my status has changed, but I'm not going to get a big head over it. I stay smiley, likable and I never forget where I came from. I want to keep my feet on the ground because it can all change so quickly.

{Fan]: How did you handle coming back from the World Cup?

That night, obviously I didn't sleep. But despite my missed penalty, I told myself that I gave everything and shouldn't have any regrets. Especially because I came into the tournament with an injury and had 10 days to recover from a big sprain. Afterwards? There was a long flight with a lot of sadness and frustration. I landed mid-morning in Lyon, I went to see my family and that afternoon, I went to Montpellier and then the next day to Marrakech. I turned my phone off and no one knew where I was. I needed a lot of time before I could talk about the World Cup.

[Fan]: What was missing for this World Cup?

Efficiency of course. We weren't able to impose our style of play and we were subjected to Australia's. Maybe we lacked a bit of bite as well. Ellie Carpenter, my Australian teammate, when she has one touch of the ball, she moves up 10 meters. When you foul a Brazilian player, they form a group around the referee to put pressure on her. When we had a team meeting about it, Kenza Dali actually called me out by name and said we needed to be more like me, aggressive. Of course you need to respect the referee and not waste energy for no reason when she has already made her decision, but in the quarterfinal of the World Cup, I think we can go talk to the ref. And not just in football. Look at rugby!

[aroaceconfessions]

in a woman in my early 20s and i grew up with baby boomer catholic parents and though they aren't as catholic as many other catholics, i still got 0 sex ed and remember asking about periods and not even getting an answer so just being super confused all around. i learned a little in school and it wasn't as bad as it could have been but it was a lot of confusing info at once. until 5th grade, i thought the word sex was a swear because i said it once (not knowing what it was or meant) and my older sister told me not to say it again. i also couldn't believe that private parts were actually for something other than just being there for relieving yourself

to get to my main point: i wish i had known about purity culture and how harmful it is at a much younger age than i learned about it. i remember watching late 90s and early 00s american teen tv shows and the way they often approached sex made me feel so terrible and ashamed to be a young woman and to be an asexual young woman who didn't know there was a term for my experience and this just added to the feeling that something was wrong with me and shame

watching one of these shows was really the first time i had seen sex depicted in any was because my family had shielded me from it until then. if we ever watched something together they would always tell me to look away while they fast forwarded the suggestive scene or whatever. so when i finally saw this very brief tv-14 depiction, it was just so much at once that i closed my computer and started crying. up until 3 years ago, i always skipped sex scenes in things. now it can depend

i don't know if it is but i know that my family infantilizes me for the conditions and disorders i have so maybe this was also some infantilization as well, i'm not sure. i'm the youngest of three sisters so everyone is overprotective of me and it's really damaging

i don't know if anyone remembers but I'm the anon who months ago was talking about this pattern i noticed in these shows where there'd always be a scene where her parental figure looks at her with a puzzled expression, she asks "what?" and the parent says something like "I don't know, you just look...different" after she's had sex for the first time

in contrast to this I want to briefly mention and recommend the show "my so-called life" a show that had the first openly gay actor to play an openly gay teen on primetime tv and covers really important themes and holds up well and is worth watching. there's an episode about the main girl feeling pressured to have sex and she's talking to her friend about it and her friend has had sex and she isn't painted in a bad light for it and the main girl asks her friend if she felt different afterwards and she says "afterward, I looked in the mirror to see if I looked different...do you think i do?" and the main girl said "no." this was 1994, years before the shows I'm thinking of. i wish i had watched this before the other shows

i just think about this a lot. i rewatch some of these late 90s early 00s shows from time to time for nostalgia and comfort and i look at them through a different eye now thank goodness and i'm able to notice just how much they tend to subtly demonize femininity and stuff that went over my head when i was younger. i didn't even know much about misogyny until a couple years ago and after high school—which makes me very upset that no one really talked about it in any way and i had to find out on my own over time. it makes me really sad to think about how much this stuff must have damaged other people watching when they were young and i worry about younger people who might be watching these shows now and maybe feeling similarly to the way i did

[likeabxrdinflight]

anyway...now I want to talk more about why I did care about this show. because honestly? I was never in it for the queer rep, though that was nice, or lumity.

I was in this show because I have a real life Eda. well...sort of.

the real world is a little more complicated than a children's cartoon. but nevertheless...I want to talk a little about the Eda to my Luz. for privacy purposes, I'll call her...Mrs. B. honestly I refer to her by her first name now but we'll go with this.

Mrs. B was a teacher of mine. I don't want to get into everything that was going on for me at the time I first met her, but long story short, catholic school sucks when you're gay and don't know it yet but members of the faculty have started to suspect and are subtly trying to steer you in a...straighter direction behind your back.

but Mrs. B wasn't doing any of that. quite the opposite. she, rather like Eda, had a few rough edges, a few less than pleasant traits about her. I didn't even like her at first- I thought she was kind of mean and more than a little intimidating. but Mrs. B, who taught 8th grade mostly, was...a little different from most of the teachers I'd had up to that point.

for starters, everything about her was dark. dark hair, dark eyes, black clothes, short temper, dark sense of humor. it was a legitimate rumor among the younger grades that she was actually a witch. and Mrs. B did nothing to discourage this. she thought it was funny.

it was kind of obvious that she didn't really fit in well with the other faculty. she never seemed to try that hard, either. she didn't conform her teaching style very much (this was all before NCLB had fully gotten to the private school systems tho). she taught english a little more in depth, she taught critical thinking in ways no one ever had before- I distinctly recall an assignment she set that forced us to write a convincing argument both for and against abortion debate, for example. and good lord the way that woman taught religion was...honestly I'm shocked she was never fired for it. she skated a very thin line with that.

she taught us other cultural myths. she told us the entire book of genesis was probably made up, couching it only with "but spiritual truths probably". she told us most of were going to have sex before marriage, don't worry about it, use condoms. don't do drugs but if you do and get in trouble, call me. the church says homosexuality is a sin but a lot of people don't believe that so eh...

It was as close to open allyship as she was able to get. but it was felt.

she showed a softer side in other places too. she encouraged me to try out for the school play (which she always directed) even though I was shy and quiet. when there were two new students in our grade she rather deftly directed people she thought would be good friends for them to do just that. and it worked on both counts. she sent the one half-mexican student we had in our class down to the office to run a quick errand and then absolutely lost her shit on the boys who had been making racist mexican jokes.

she did her best to look out for me behind the scenes when other members of the staff had a target on my back for maybe being gay. it wasn't quite enough- the harm was still done- but she tried. she fell short sometimes, there are things I wish she'd done differently, things I wish she'd said more openly. but she always had a hand held out if I ever needed it.

I had a sense that she was a little bit weird, like me and my friends were a little bit weird. it turned out, she was kind of weird. a little off the beaten path, a little bit different. I later learned, as an adult, that not only does she not even believe in catholicism, she's a closet agnostic. and as a child, once I saw past the tough outer shell, I saw somebody I felt like I could trust. and when shit hit the fan for me, she was the one I ended up reaching out to for help.

I went to public high school, and the transition was rough after over a decade at the same old catholic school. this on top of a lot of unresolved religious trauma nonsense, don't wanna get into it, I ended up in a bit of a mental health crisis that I also don't want to get into the details of. long story short, I reached a bit of a breaking point, I had exhausted other resources, so I sent Mrs. B an email. long, desperate, frankly embarrassing to think back on. but she responded, she agreed to talk to me.

and it helped. it didn't fix anything per se, but it helped. I went back to the school to visit her fairly often throughout that year, leaning on her for support in ways that can't have been easy for her, but made a world of difference for me. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't reached out like that, I'm not sure how much worse things would have gotten. but I remember...I was fifteen and felt like I was walking towards the edge of a cliff. I hadn't gotten to the edge yet, but she pulled me off that path entirely. she didn't save my life so much as ensure no one would ever have to.

we've been...something like friends ever since. It's not as easy as the relationship between Eda and Luz. It was complicated by the boundaries that once existed, especially when I was a minor. she was always very careful about that. I think she still is on some level.

but she is kind of a mother figure to me, a bit complicated by the fact that she was once my teacher, that I definitely had a bit of a hero-worship crush on her at one point when I was younger, but I think that's where it's settled now. that's how I've come to see her.

I don't think she entirely reciprocates the feeling. I've never asked, and I've never told her this. I see her as a mother figure, but I don't think that's mutual- I think she sees me as a former student, a kid she cared about, and now something of a friend. she values my presence in her life, she's said as much, but there's also a lack of reciprocity in the dynamic. we don't totally act like friends, we act like a former teacher and her former student. she's private, keeps herself to herself. she knows way more about me than I do about her. I don't ever expect her to lean on me for support the way you might in a more mutual friendship. I don't think she'd feel right about that, even now.

the dynamic now is such that I reach out whenever I'm in town, we meet up, have lunch or coffee or something for a couple hours, bye see you next time. we don't really talk in between. I wish we did sometimes, but we don't. that's not something I really feel at liberty to do, not for lack of invitation, but I'm still mindful of boundaries (and also she's 70 and can't text for shit lol). she doesn't really ever reach out first, either. those old boundaries will always exist, even when she says they're not there anymore. I know they still are on some level, they always will be. having anxiety doesn't help things either.

but at the end of the day, this woman has always been in my corner, has always been a supportive mentor to me when I needed her to be. every time I have come to her for help she has been there. every time I have needed something from her she has followed through. when I needed someone to talk to after my best friend was assaulted, she was there to listen. when I stopped by the school in the months following both of my grandmothers' deaths, she pulled up a chair and let me talk. when I needed a little self esteem boost during a rough time in my master's program, she was there with words of encouragement and her usual dry humor. when I finally plucked up the courage to come out to her, she responded perfectly. when I asked her what was really going on all those years ago at that school, she told me the truth, even when she knew it would be hard for me to hear.

and it was. it was hard to hear. but it's also set me on the path to finally healing some old shit in a way that will actually matter. she's still pulling me back from the wrong paths, and I'm not entirely sure she knows just how much. she isn't doing all the work, far from it, but her impact on my life really cannot be overstated.

and this is the relationship that Eda and Luz almost immediately reminded me of. that was why the owl house touched me as much as it did. I see shades of the girl I used to be in Luz, and I see an awful lot of Mrs. B in Eda. even if it's not exactly the same, even if I wish Mrs. B and I were a little closer than we really are...and that hurts sometimes. but I'm a therapist now, I understand why those dynamics can never really step beyond what they were. a client is never not a client. a student is never not a student.

but it's close enough. and the owl house comes close enough to representing it, closer than anything I've ever seen before, frankly. mentor figures in fantasy stories usually fit into very specific molds and tropes- the gandalfs, the dumbledores- I had never seen anything that told a story that I felt was more true to life. at least, more true to my life.

more than any queer representation, more than lumity, this is what makes the owl house special to me. and I'm very glad I got to experience it.

[bossymarmalade]

I spent six years of my childhood in the developing world, where school uniforms were the norm (you only wore street clothes if you went to private school). It was a Roman Catholic girls’ school and we had overalls:

--that’s a photo from the paper of some kids from the same school from like four years ago and the uniform hasn’t changed since I was there in the eighties lol but anyhow! 

There was something that felt very genderless about our school uniforms. Maybe it was because it’s a girls’ school, so that stripped out a lot of the comparison between us and boys. Maybe because there wasn’t a strong sense of social pressure, since the school was in the city and none of us lived nearby (I lived rurally! On cane estate lands in fact). The expressions of personality we were allowed were very restricted -- earrings that fit the dress code, and hair bobbles/ribbons, that was about it. 

In a way I do feel that going to girls’ school, being in a uniform for six years, got me to a certain baseline confidence level in who I was as a girl and the way I was allowed to express it. Girlhood was the same as personhood to me because all of my school peers were kind of in the same boat. Our bodies weren’t really the locus of self-expression because we all looked the same, so we decorated our books in varied fashions, found little niches of behaviour, even knew each others’ preferred shades of blue ink for our fountain pens. I was known for creating a prediction table of what our teacher’s outfits meant for the day’s activities (a certain tan dress worn with a red belt meant we were Getting a Test! I still remember it lol). 

When we moved back to Canada and entered the public school system here, the other girls were fascinated and perplexed by our clothes. I was unselfconscious enough for that to not bother me at first, but this time we lived in the neighbourhood and I started hanging out with those girls and the socialization set in HARD. Clothes for school suddenly became hugely important and, curiously, when I moved from a grade school in a super-wealthy neighbourhood to one in a middle/lower-class neighbourhood, the pressure to be wearing the ‘right’ clothes increased tenfold. My identity as a girl became PROFOUNDLY wrapped up in how I dressed.

Lots of the time when I see discussions of school uniforms for girls they’re characterized as being symbols of control, or squashing of individuality, or sexually titillating. My St. Gabriel’s uniform wasn’t any of those things! I truly missed it when I had to switch to wearing street clothes at school. It had freed me up from having to compete with other girls and/or be concerned about fitting in with them; it was something I didn’t have to worry about amidst all the other stuff I was trying to figure out. It was a featureless container for the actual me, which was the important part.

[keysmashhhhhhhh]

Rewatching Nativity! making me feel so nostalgic. It's just so reminiscent of my childhood:

- set in a small Catholic primary school in a generic English city - scarily similar to my own (except my uniform was red not blue)

- the kids at the school are looked down on by the private school kids in the area

- some of the teachers are amazing and really care about the kids, others are a menace and shouldn't be allowed around children

- the depiction of the "politics" of the nativity casting is so true, like who got cast as Mary and Joseph was a BIG deal

- sitting in the hall for assemblies in your class rows with teachers either side

- the chaos of putting on a nativity is perfectly shown the backstage drama!

- all the charecters of the kids in the class are just so accurate, I can see everyone of my primary school friends in them it's actually painful I miss that so much

- the teachers constantly saying we would never achieve anything because of where we're from, thank god I didn't listen to them too much

- the actress who plays Jenifer looks IDENTICAL to my hairdresser like it's spookily similar

- the decor of the classrooms is exactly the same as my old primary school, like literally I mean the posters are the same, even down to the wavy borders to the big boards in the hall, the font used everything is just identical

- school trips to a farm >>>

- teachers shouting CALM DOWN at you as though that's going to calm you down before a performance

- just all the little religious bits with the priest, reminds me so much of Father C and Father L at my old school

- just singing and dancing with your friends to endless christmas songs, simpler times

- the mismatched costumes, everyone bringing in little bits from home and sharing to make an outfit, the classic teatowl on the head for shepheards

- the outdated tech like phones, laptops and projectors date is so well

- the parents, I can't explain they're just accurate, that scene where the guys mum shows up and he suddenly realises I've seen that happen with my old best friend when his dad would turn up to school events and he'd just be so happy because he'd very rarely see his dad

- Alan Carr's charecter is just so wild because I genuinely feel like I would know that guy exists in real life

- doing Christmas crafts and like Christmas creative writing/spellings in the last couple weeks of term

- all the kids random auditions with odd talents, I've got videos from some of the "talent" shows we put on in primary school featuring a truly amazing recorder/violin duet with me and my best friend

In summary it's probably my favourite Christmas film, the care attention to detail and love that went into it is so clear and its so accurate it actually hurts with nostalgia. I'm probably going to watch Nativity 2 next week so I can make a little list of things I note in that one if anyone wants that

[psapphic95]

I would loveeee to hear a little blurb about how Emma and Regina were fucking in the church I read that and I can’t stop thinking about it

Hey, 

It is interesting that you brought this up! Something you guys don’t know is that Emma actually went to a private Catholic school from Kindergarten all the way until University. Emma’s family isn’t even Catholic, but Protestant by heritage, and they are very far removed from religion generally. Her parents just liked the school, which was well known for producing Ivy League candidates, so they enrolled Emma. 

(And yes, upon hearing that Emma went to Catholic school Regina’s first response was; ‘Please tell me you kept the uniform???’) 

Emma, being the little deviant she’d always been, always found something strangely erotic about the rigidity of Catholicism. She fell heavily into reading Catholic ecclesiastical literature from the Middle Ages, and specifically literature about the sin of sodomy and homosexuality. She’d constantly touch herself imagining one of her hot teachers berating her for being a whore, a girl of sodom, and caning her bottom until she repented. The idea that she was a sinner and a deviant for liking girls turned Emma on to absolutely no end. Being the little hornball that she is/was, you can just imagine the fun she was having with her own thoughts during Mass and Prayer Service at school. 

And her biggest fantasy was, of course, to fuck in a church. 

So, when she heard that her brother was performing in a nativity play in a church for the Catholic Kindergarten school he was attending, Regina didn’t initially understand why Emma begged her to come.

Emma’s insistence became more clear when Regina was immediately dragged off to the church bathroom and shoved into a stall. It wasn’t exactly how Emma had fantasised it. She’d prefer to be bent over the altar before the crucifix and a Madonna statue, her Mommy viciously pounding her ass from behind with her cock, but the bathroom would have to do. 

After slamming her against the stall wall, Emma all but attacked her Mommy’s mouth with her own. Like a rabid little animal that could barely wait, she took Regina’s hands and led them under her skirt. Regina indulged in the kissing for a few moments before she caught herself and remembered where they were. She began pulling away, and Emma buried her face into her Mommy’s neck and whined. 

“Please fuck me…” 

“We’re in a church,” Regina hissed. “Stop it, now.” 

The command was only half-hearted, since Regina’s hands were still travelling up Emma’s skirt to the waistband of her tights. Regina, whose paternal family are actually Catholic, felt like she was crossing a line, but she’d never been manhandled so desperately by Emma before. 

“Deviant passion is close to madness, Mommy,” Emma breathed, encouraging her to pull her tights down over her bottom. “I can’t help myself.” 

Though Regina didn’t know exactly what or whom Emma was quoting, it became clearer to Regina that this was a latent fantasy of her little girl. A religious kink, a Catholic one at that, seemed so unnaturally perverse to Regina, something she didn’t even peg Emma for having. 

Still, it was so utterly arousing to see Emma so excited by such sacrilege. 

“Show me what you want me to do to you, you little whore,” Regina growled, finally getting Emma’s tights and underwear down to her knees. 

The girl couldn’t help but moan, her head swimming with all of the words of eternal damnation she had masturbated to over the years. 

No sin has greater power over the soul than the one of cursed sodomy. 

Emma said nothing, but turned around and bent over. With one hand, she spread one of her bottom cheeks, and used the other to rub over her tight little hole. Innocently peeking over her shoulder, she pouted and quietly begged.

“Please, Mommy…you can just use your spit.”

****

#look at me finally putting my second-year medieval history knowledge to good use

[that-bluesybitch]

Okay, I want to tell a story about my ex and why it is important to give young conservatives a chance. I know that that intro doesn't sound promising but hear me out please.

Last year I was dating this guy (was then engaged for a week, but that is not important) and he was very conservative. He voted for trump in the 2020 election, was only ever going to go green if someone put a gun to his head, hated muslums and did not believe in black lives matter or anything of the sort including crt. ( Also anti-abortion).

We had an argument over him liking Donald Trump because the reality of it was that where my ex was financially, Trump didn't actually benefit him whatsoever. This led to an argument over why Trump was problematic over all.

I sat down with him and actually showed him facts and evidence and after looking over it he apologized and recinded his previous statements to the contrary. And this made me wonder why he ever thought Trump was good in the first place. So ofcourse I asked him and he told me that he was told by his teachers (He went to a Catholic school) and his parents (both republicans) that Trump was the good guy and liberals were bad. He had never been given any evidence of their statements, but if he did not agree he would get punished beause growing up, what the conservative adults said was required to be taken as truth and it made me realize something.

He never had a chance to not belive stupid shit until college. He was forced to belive incorrect statements that had been shoved down his throat by adults who used their power over him in a negative way.

I also want to tell you all about the issues he had with math class. See, he was required to take and pass a math class in college as a gened course, as was I. Before we dated, he had taken 3 because he failed them all, along with having to retake an accounting course because he failed that too.

He told me how much he hated math and science, and whenever it came up in everyday life, he would desperately try to avoid being the person having to do the work that involved said math.

I offered to take a math course with him, so that I could be there to help. When we took the course I noticed he actually was not bad at math at all. He was just not used to some of the work that comes with it and had not been exposed to the thinking and methods that come with doing mathmatics.

In highschool, many of his classes were religion classes and revolved only around the bible, he was given very little chance to understand math or science and when he had trouble his teachers had called him stupid.

The fact of the matter was that he was not stupid at all. He just needed a chance to be smart, to get good at math.

It was the same with his political opinions, he needed a chance to see evidence and think for himself. He was completly capable of thinking for himself but was never given a chance. This is because along with not respecting women, gays and blacks (amoung others) republicans don't respect their children. They do not even want children, they want obediant slaves for them to beat on or push around. If those children get out of line, they are forced to go through public and private beratement.

I tell you all this so that you know and understand something. Adults who are republicans, have no excuse. But if you meet a child who is just spitting out their conservative parents' opinions, please be the person who shows them the right way in a kind manner. They have been disrespected all their lives and have never been given a chance to use their brain, nor taught how to.

I hate what republicans are doing to others, but what they are doing to their children is just as bad. They are harming their minds and their future's just so they can feel as if they are important and in charge.

[thelonewolf48]

MSHD Season 3, Episode 3

Let's see how wrong this series can go and still give us our ship.

This post got out of hand so, be warned that is LONG!

High Hills and the whole teaching three languages, robotics and computer science gives me war flashbacks to my own school (I went to a private catholic school up until 6th grade). But they did teach us a little about ecology and horticulture... as for the meditation, well, we slept around at least two hours in kindergarten and had like an hour for ourselves (aside from lunch break) for reading and doing other things... so, I don't see a problem there.

But I do know where this is going and I mean, sure, there are schools like that, but at least in my city public and private school accept everyone. Gay or not. NOW, that they discriminate the kids and their families... yeah, that happens everywhere in our conservative and religious society.

I don't like the translation change they did in Alta's comment: The subs read "Ah, wonderful, Miss Ana. They're gonna be as smart as their ma." To which Mariana and Ana simultaneously answer "Oh, God, I hope not" and "They will."

But what Alta really said was "How cute, Miss Ana. Are they going to attend the same school as you?" (Or, I guess, it sounds better as Are they gonna attend your alma mater?") Whichever it is... I don't like that they changed the comment because it seems that Mariana doesn't want the girls to be as smart as Ana, even though she tells everyone that Ana is really smart. Anyway, little easter egg.

You know what? I love Victor and Tere's dynamic. I've seen men like him, my dad and one of my uncles. My aunt had a high risk pregnancy and we all helped her out so, I kinda understand Victor but I don't think Tere isn't that bad... she just needs rest lol But I love them and the whole plots Tere does to try to go outside, while Victor tries to prevent her to escape. LOVE THEM!

Ro, cutie pie, I understand your hate and bad behavior... but the fact no one is telling him to tone down his comments is off. Especially, coming from a Mexican mom. Which, fair, not all moms are the same but if I ever said something like that or raised my voice or even rolled my eyes, my mom (and aunts and basically any grown up) would scold me and maybe ground me for a week (to say the least)

Again will rant about the subs! It sounds so damn aggressive, in the subs JC says "Did you not learn the lesson?" and Ana answers "I learned you're an asshole." WOW, WOW, WOW! JC actually says "See why I sued you?" and Ana answers something along the lines of "because you're stubborn" or "you're a fool." To tell someone asshole, here in Mexico, is like a really big thing and Ana didn't insult him here... so, I wonder why they decided to write asshole... I need answers!

And then, the next comment seems a bit off because she's not being as aggressive as the subs make Ana sound... (or maybe it's me who feels it's aggressive?) Anyway, the subs read "And you don't need to know everything if it's what's best for the girls. I figured it'd be okay" and in reality Ana says "Because I do include you in everything, but in due time. I don't even know if there's an spot available."

Subs, you're sus!

They did not just dressed a girl in a cosplay, right? ... No, they did... because of course that's how everyone looks like inside a japanese company... Never change, Mexico. Never change. LOL

Ferran and Mariana, sighs. I'm not gonna dig into that and I will rant about JC and Ana but that a few paragraphs later.

Subs... you're giving me a headache... It sounds so wrong how JC sounds when he says "if you come, dress nice" when in reality he tells Ana "think about it and let me know" SUBS YOU'RE ON THE AGRESSIVE SIDE!

Hmmm, eating soil strengthens the immune system, really? THEN WHY I GET SICK ALL THE TIME?!!!! I've eaten my share of soil and still get sick all the damn time! /sighs/ anyway, Ana throwing chocolates to the kids is so funny though!

Cynthia really is a mini Ana in the making lol, poor Pablo though.

I gotta love Romelia's guts and clever ideas, she doesn't buy that Mariana and Ana are dating but also wants to prove that Mariana and Ferran are together. I love her lol

SUBS HOLY SHIT, WHAT?

The subs: "I never want you to be seen in public with that dumb little slut ever again"

What they really said: "I never want you to be seen in public with that girl"

And the subs called Mariana little slut twice in the same scene... and he never said that...

Then, subs go into a different direction. In the subs, Ana says "With that mouth, I hope it all burns to the ground" JC says "Ana, come on, it's for the children", then Ana "No, this is for you, Juan Carlos" and Ana in reality says "I will not follow your discriminatory rules" JC's dialogue is the same but then Ana says "No, it's because of the children (that I'm saying this)"

And then, it's interesting that when Ana is telling JC's father off that again in the subs, Ana is attacking him when in reality she is defending JC and accepting part of the blame for their failed marriage. In subs, Ana says "And because you're an incompetent sorry old man, I will never help you" vs what she really says "Just because I don't fit into your old-fashioned, conservative mold."

Ana isn't just angry telling him off, she is also telling a message to everyone who thinks like him, viewers included (or at least, I hope that was the writers' intentions)

Subs being sus, again!

What's up with the subs and them calling everyone assholes? JC calling his father an asshole in the subs is totally wrong because he doesn't insult him... but I'm not gonna continue ranting about it.

Subs... I'm...

I don't know what to do with these subs... They're aggressive when they shouldn't be and then they aren't when they should!

Subs: Tere: "And you won't tell me what to do with my body! Or what I want with it! A body you won't touch! Even when the doctor says so. Get it out of your head, or it's a problem, hmm?"

Reality: "I'm a woman with her own life and body! A body you won't touch! Even when the doctor said we can fuck without problems, hmm?"

Subs: Tere: "Look at me. I am a woman. Never ever again say that! I am anything other than what you see right here. And now get out of my face, hmm?"

Reality: "I am a free, funny, and sexy woman! And I will not allow you to stop seeing me as such! Nor will I cease to be!"

Although similar in it's message, I think it gives the scene very different messages. Although, again, maybe it's just me.

Business partners with benefits... I need a business partner, anyone available? LOL

Cynthia and Pablo, 11/10

The other issue I have is that after Ana and Mariana crashed the school entrance, Ro goes back into a loving kid and we never see Ana acknowledging the bully Ro was suffering, nor we see Ro telling Ana he is sorry for the way he behaved... and now it turns out Ro was only trying to protect the babies... THAT'S... THAT'S... /sighs/

And I need to go, but I love that JC finally see the light and pulled the law suit off! YAAAAAAY now I wonder what mess will the writers throw at me... lol