#like fuck just...you're not special. put you in a war and see what war crimes you commit.

[frogeyedape]

I'm tired of seeing antisemitism on my dash, in all its subtle forms. War is an atrocity, and Israel is not unique in that. Where is the outrage against Russia's ongoing genocide of Ukrainians? What about China's genocide of Uyghurs? What of all the other atrocities being committed around the world? Why is there *so much attention* devoted to hating Israel and seeking, not an end to the conflict, but the end of Israel? Is it just that they're a little country, an easy target to potentially dismantle, compared to the big fish of Russia and China?

Keep calling out the atrocities, by all means, but for the love of humanity maybe broaden your targets and reduce your own genocidal wishes?

Any ideology that says: "They did horrible things so 'they' [the group they belong to] all deserve to die horribly" is an evil one.

[lollytea]

Controversial opinion off anon edition: I do not like the Hunter vs Amity trope. The genuine versus, like Amity and Hunter not being able to stand in a room together type of genuine. I like the idea of Amity and Hunter having an unspoken understanding of each other, since they came out of similar situations where someone else was trying to tell them how to be. They both managed to break free of it and find themselves. A common reason I see for the trope is “Hunter threatened Luz in front of Amity and she could never forgive that after trying to offer him friendship” but nearly everyone has threatened Luz after an offer, he’s not somehow special or held to a different expectation.

Another reason why I want them to be friends instead is because I hc Amity and Hunter as autistic and, being autistic myself, I think it’s funny when they hate crime each other. Literally every time I think of them going at it I picture the 2020 meme on Twitter about “girls w autism vs guys w autism”.

YEAH. In fairness I don't really see people putting any genuine animosity between Amity and Hunter in their content lately. It used to be a huge thing but has died down a significant amount. But yeah it's just. They like each other, man. Hunter has liked Amity since he met her. Eclipse Lake is a very funny rewatch if you focus on how Hunter just seemed to decide that Amity was his new bestie, undeterred by the fact that she was adamantly rejecting it.

I cannot imagine Amity possibly holding the terrible things Hunter did against him. Because Amity understands exactly why he did them more clearly than anyone else could. She understands just how desperate and scared you get when you're under your abusive parent's thumb and the terrible decisions you make as a result. Why would Amity blame him? She's been him.

I DO think that their relationship is initially a little awkward tho. Especially from Hunter's end. While Amity thinks everything's gucci between them, he still feels guilty and embarrassed over what he did to her in Eclipse Lake and assumes she still resents him over it. She doesn't. Like it never even crossed her mind that this would be a thing that he's worried about. She knows he's a lot like her so she tries to look out for him and treat him how she would like to be treated.

That's always been my interpretation of how they both behaved in TTT during the cosplay scene. Amity is a former mean girl. She used to be soooo blunt and judgemental. And you can see her struggling not to give her honest opinion on Hunter's fit. Because Amity doesn't want to be mean. She's nice. She wants to be nice. However....she knows damn well that if that boy steps out in public looking like that, somebody is gonna bully him (because in another universe SHE'D bully him) so she'd prefer to avoid that. So she tells him to change as politely as she can.

Meanwhile, Hunter agrees to change immediately, despite Willow and Gus ADORING his fit, despite HIM adoring his fit, and Willow begging him to keep it on. Hunter listens to Amity over Willow. Think about that for two seconds and wonder why that is.

In my opinion, he's tiptoeing around her. He's trying to keep the peace. He tried to kill her and threatened her girlfriend. He's gonna do whatever the fuck Amity Blight tells him to with a smile on his face. Amity is none the wiser.

However I don't imagine this will last much longer. They're absolutely going to become much more comfortable with each others after the events of the series and won't be nearly as awkward and careful.

Amity and Hunter are both very high strung, opinionated, passionate people. I know that if there was ever a topic they disagreed on, they would go to war over it. I'm talking a full blazing shouting match in Camila's living room. They're besties <3

[darklordofthesimp]

König realizing he loves birdy must have been a bittersweet hell, I mean- just coming to really care for her (not just trying to make it up to her, but actually really wanting to be her friend and have her reciprocate) must have been stressful enough considering she hates his guts and wants nothing to do with him, but love? Dear god. Torture, true torture for him after all that. I’m sure he feels guilty enough about how his mere presence stresses her out to begin with, realizing that he’s fallen for her must seem like the most selfish thing he could possibly have done. Love is stressful and complicated under moderately good conditions, much less- *gestures wildly at their whole situation* -This. How does one begin to unravel their feelings and attempt to communicate how much they care when they completely destroyed any implicate trust and friendliness in one rather Gory meeting? What do you do when your first impression was maiming them beyond recognition and almost killing them? How do you backtrack from that when they still hate you, and even more painfully, still have nightmares and flashbacks of you to freshly remind them anytime they begin to forget? The searing pain of her flinching everytime he so much as moves too quickly, of seeing her emerge in the morning with puffy bloodshot eyes glaring at him, knowing she spent another night with him as her personal boogeyman and there’s nothing he can do about it. That she won’t let him comfort her because she’s still afraid of him, afraid that he’ll hurt her, and he can’t claim that he would never- she would spit back that he already has, and she would be right. I wonder if it would be a slow sinking realization and acceptance of his fate, or if it’d be a sudden and violent sledgehammer to the heart that sends him spiraling into a panic attack once he finally finds the words for the extra spark he’d been feeling towards her lately. Each one is a special kind of pain anyhow.

Can I just point out that this was beautifully written and I was FEELING SOME SAD SHIT READING THIS. Just this crumb that you've offered has more talent than every ounce of brain power it takes for me to put out a fic I stg.

I think König would genuinely feel like a bad fucking person. He knows it was an accident but to fall in love with the person whose life you ruined?

He thinks there's definitely a special place in Hell reserved just for him- and not for the war crimes.

I can see him definitely heaved over in his room, eyes wide as he tries to regulate his breathing. It's like he's been fucking sucker punched, it's as if someone had hit him with a freight train.

He wishes he had never met you.

You would have been safe from him and he wouldn't be fucking haunted by you. His every waking moment you're on his mind.

He's never felt such an overwhelming sense of emotional turmoil.

If he ever let's himself imagine you feeling the same way back, a fantasy he keeps as he falls asleep- he reminds himself that he's fucking disgusting for even insinuating it.

Loving Birdy means hating himself.

He wishes he had never met her.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

Before we continue...

THOUGHT COMPLETE: ACTUAL ART DEGREE

BONUSES:

-1 Hand/Eye Coordination: Hands shake from anger from how shit it all is Conceptualization passives heal +1 Morale and give +10 XP

SOLUTION:

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.

"I got this special strike brew the Union uses." (Give it.)

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Interesting." He grabs the thermal cup and shakes it. "Ah, this is what they use to keep the working man going."

Item lost: Goracy's brew

ROSEMARY - "Hey, Spiral-Boy, you gonna share that?" one of the other bums interjects.

DON'T CALL ABIGAIL - "Don't call Abigail!"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Shut up, guys, I'm telling a story here." He turns to you. "Something happened to you. Something happened to me, too -- my actual name is George, but around here... you already know..."

"I was a once a reasonably high-net-worth individual. A founder slash junior partner at a high-concept creative services agency. When my story begins, I had just landed a major contract with an insurance firm…"

"Go on."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "I used the profits from my agency to finance what I called a 'cultural incubator' -- abstract value generation, value per person, high-concept stuff..."

"I developed the paradigm, worked within the paradigm. But the burden of leadership weighed heavily on me, so I went jogging every so often to keep myself sane."

"Wait -- how many people did you have working for you?"

"Did the jogging help?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Twenty-two full-time employees. An all-star team. A potentially historical set of individuals. Worrying about them often kept me up well into the morning hours."

"Did the jogging help?"

"I could probably use a good run myself."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "It helped, truly. With my trusty Sansarique Lickra(TM) tracksuit I felt like I could conquer the world..."

"But now dreams are worn thin, much like my tracksuit," he says thoughtfully, brushing dust off his shit-stained pants.

"What happened?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "One day I left on my evening run. As you may know, it's impossible to clear your head when you're distracted by the sound of keys jangling in your pockets." He shakes the bottle and makes a ringing sound.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] - His eyes are clouded, his dilated blood vessels encircling his irises like stinging brambles.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - His eyes are your eyes.

Thanks to Actual Art Degree, we gain 10 XP and heal 1 Morale.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "So I removed the keyring and put the keys for the front gate and the apartment into different pockets, to stop the jangling, you see. At least that was the plan..."

"I was halfway done with my usual lap when it started to rain. The reality situation became very wet, very quickly."

"How *wet* are we talking, exactly?"

"Go on."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "It was a day not unlike this one here..." You both glance skyward.

"I made my way back home and discovered that I didn't have the key to the front gate -- I'd mixed it up with the key to the letter box. Which was useless."

"Naturally, the situation required me to climb over the gate, which I did. There was no climbing down, because I slipped and landed on my ass."

"Ouch!"

"I would've landed on my feet. I've got feline reflexes."

(Say nothing.)

SAVOIR FAIRE [Challenging: Failure] - No, you don't.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Whatever. The point is, reality was looking rather grim, just then -- me lying on my ass in a mud pit in the middle of a heavy shower. But when life knocked me down, I always got up..."

"So I made my way across the yard. Standing in front of my apartment door, fumbling with my pockets, I realized that I'd also forgotten my apartment key!"

"You've got to be shitting me!"

"Okay, so what happened next?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "I wish I were, Tequila. I wish I were." He turns his head towards the skies. "Instead of my apartment key, I'd taken the key to the office."

"Okay, so what happened next?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "I rang my neighbours' buzzers. It was late, and most of them didn't even answer. Those who did assumed I was trying to sell them something and hung up before I could even explain the situation..."

"People are naturally wary of ad men, you see. One moment someone chats you up, five minutes later you've bought a box of edible lingerie and a strap-on. I don't begrudge them, especially since I was known to be one of the best…" He pauses meaningfully.

EMPATHY [Easy: Successs] - Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Just then I experienced a moment of clarity: I still had the key to my office! I could wait out the storm there..."

"But when I reached my office I remembered that I'd asked one of my producers to change the locks that day -- and since I hired only the best, he'd already done it, and I couldn't get in…"

"Anyway, long story short, life spiralled out of control. I haven't gotten into my apartment for years, and my girlfriend left me because she didn't want to date a homeless man. The company, well, you see where I'm going with this…"

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Legendary: Success] - He pinches his thigh as if to check whether this reality is *the reality*.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "So, now you've heard my tragic tale. What do you think? Like nothing you've ever heard, huh?" He takes a long swig of his drink.

"Wait, is that it? I feel like there are some steps missing."

"I've only been a hobo cop for a few days now, but it doesn't seem so bad."

"Look on the bright side -- you've got one hell of a story."

"You do realize all of this is your own fault?"

"I literally can't believe it."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Tequila, I've thought about this series of events for a long time. If there was anything else to it, I would have thought of it by now."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Why didn't you go to the authorities?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Well, at one point they came to me, but you know, I didn't have any ID on me -- so they tossed me in jail for two days..."

"I can't say it increased my faith in the RCM. No offence, gentlemen." He shakes his head.

3. "Look on the bright side -- you've got one hell of a story."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Yeah. Maybe I've exaggerated certain parts over the years. When you tell a story too often, it begins to take on a life of its own..."

"But what matters is that it's true to my subjective experience. Anyway, that was all the story one bottle gets you." He looks at it. "Almost empty this one…"

+5 XP

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - Truly, he has the soul of an artist.

Nice, another 10 XP and healed Morale.

"What do you guys do around here?"

"Why do you keep losing all your stuff?"

"I want to hear the story of your name again."

"Have you got any more stories?"

"Be seein' you." [Leave.]

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Good fucking question, Tequila! If I knew the answer, you think I'd be hanging out on a beach in this formerly premium but now extremely dirty two-piece Lickra(TM) tracksuit?"

"I used to own my reality situation. My business buddies and I had our own creative services agency. I had a nice apartment, an even nicer piece of ass, but somehow it all got away from me..."

"Now I can't hang onto anything. Just last week I stole this nice new jacket, but then I lost it, too. The only things I haven't lost are these two drunks."

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - You of all people should empathize with this. Perhaps this lost jacket is something you could help with...

"What was the name of your agency?"

"What's up with the tracksuit?"

"What about the other drunks?"

"What's this about a lost jacket?"

"Let me ask you something else." (Conclude.)

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "My agency, man..." He takes a long, melancholic sip. "The Boom Boom Room. Our concept was combining high art with the lowest forms of marketing -- the colour red, breasts, and oil painting..."

"I convinced my partners to reinvest some of our profits in an even-more high-concept 'cultural incubator' called 'Thin Air'. The artists were happy, the clients were happy."

"I was financing a group of poets in East Revachol who were developing a new, universal poetic language… but then it all went to shit…" He looks toward the bay.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - Sounds intriguing. What say you, art cop?

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - If it sounds like it makes no sense, that's because it doesn't.

[hirik0]

You always meet twice part 7

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6

Ghost/Soap

Implied tame NSFW

It's been 3 days since Soaps texted and Ghost did everything he could think of to stop thinking about it. He failed miserably no book was intressting enough, no TV show or movie could shut is brain off. The only time he had a little peace of mind was when he worked out. But he can't do that 24/7. He desperately tryed to work through his feelings. Nothing helped so now he sits in Margaret's livingroom Angel on his lap. The black cat jumped on there the second he sat down and haven't moved since. "So Sam what's going on in your head?", Margaret ask having some special Grandma sence that hes in trouble. "I meet someone at work and I can't get them out of my head", Ghost spills his guts out, what's a 75 old lady doing with his relationship problems besides telling them other old people at her bingo and bridge evening. " Oh what's their name?", Margaret ask exited for him. "Johnny. His name is Johnny", Ghost answers after looking at his tea for a few minutes. "What is he like?", Margaret asked with a soft smile on her face. "He's charming, chatty, always a smile on his face, liked by everyone, smart, laughts at my shitty jokes", Ghost recalls the things he remembered at the top of his head. Margaret smiles pleased at him, oh her boy is in love. Ghost became her inofficial grandchild the moment she saw his sad eyes, 3 years ago. "But you both travel a lot for work", Margaret concludes the problem, she's is keeping her mind sharp with cross word puzzels and watching old crime shows. "Yes, its also against company rules", Ghost explains the problem he is in. "People fuck their coworkers all the time", Margaret sighs making Ghost chocke on his tea, caught totally of guard. "Oh please Sam, I had sex with a lot of the doctors and other nurses when I was younger, we wanted to fuck after world war 2. And you know work hours are so long today, where else are you suposed to find someone for a little bit of fun? My youngest granddaughter works nearly 50 hours a week, she has no time to go out", Margaret overshares with him. Ghost just nods along this is way to much information from the old lady. "So go get your man, have some fun", Margaret trys to encourage him. Fuck he liked the way your man sounds. "I.. he rembers me a lot of my friend that died", Ghost sighs looking in his tea cup, referring to Tommy. "Sam, you're always the biggest obstacle in your own live. Let the dead rest, enjoy the living people around you", Margaret shares some of his old lady wisdom with him. "I will try", Ghost says unsure if he really will try. "Thats all I ask for", Margaret approve of his answers pushing the box with biscuits towards Ghost.

Ghost is starting at his phone trying to think about something to text to Soap. Margaret really did but some ideas in his head. But if he can't stay proffesional in the field its dangerous to pursue Soap, for the both of them. He puts the phone down not having written anything. He can check up on the rest of the 141 in the morning. Because Soap don't get special treatment anymore. Chicago was a one time think. He lays down on the couch trying to pay attention to the TV, but he's still thinking about Soap and Tommy. Oh fuck he still has to tell Soap about Tommy. That's a problem to solve for future Ghost.

>> You didn't blow up the base by now right?<<

He finally text to Soap, knowing the other will not answer for a few hours. He then like he learned from the various self-help books he read, after the disaster his attempt at therapy was, makes a pro and con list of the consequences of well fucking Soap ones he guess. Margaret says he should have some fun and date Johnny. Should he even fuck Tommys only good friend? Like what can Tommy even do about it he's dead. Is this wired? To date the friend of your sibling after not seeing each other for years? Well he did he even really know Soap back then, right? Are these strange things to googel, but he cant be the only person in this situation, right? He puts the aspect of it being forbidden by his work on the con site. What if the sex is bad? What if it's to good? He trys to push down all the thoughts that are popping up. He takes a dead breath and is now asking himself if it even maters how the sex will be if its only a onetime think, maybe he still needs to put anything on the pro site. He thinks about it and in the end desites he has time to fill the list before he returns and not to rush anything. With having this sort of battle plan Ghost feels himself finally relax. He picks up one of the books he tryed and failed to read and gets totally absorbed by it.

Hours later Ghost gets ripped out of the book by his phone.

>> You think Price wouldn't have ordered you back if I blow up the base? 🙄🙄<<

Soap texts back.

>> Price could be unconscious, for all I know <<

>> someone would have told you to punish me, if I did blow up part of the base. 🙄 Hows leave?<<

Ghost trys not to read to much in to the punish, Soap don't mean it in a sexual way.

>> Silent <<

>> 🤨 What's that supose to mean LT? <<

>> No busy base sounds and shit <<

>> ah, well I'm going out if Gaz to night LT, text you soon.<<

With that Ghost is putting his phone back down.

Soap is drunk, not only drunk but so drunk he will likely do something really dumb the moment he is alone. He should stay with Gaz, they can share a bed, no big deal, but Price makes sure both Sergeants end up in their own room, alone. The last functional brain cell is screaming at him to go to bed, but the drunk braincells tell him to text Ghost. Just letting him know he had fun with Gaz, harmless. Nothing can go wrong.

When Ghost wakes up he has a bunch of messages from Soap on his phone. 20 messages from Soap and Ghost has the feeling he should ignore them, just swipe the notification away, waiting for a 'sorry for drunk texting you' message to apear and forget the whole thing. Well, Soap just send him some drunk gibberish, they can both laugh about when he's back at base.

>> Had a blast with Gaz <<

>> Price had to bring us back to base <<

>> Would have been better with you there 🥺<<

>> Miss you <<

>> it's unfair that you are still so hot <<

>> You where already studiptly hot when I was 17 <<

Ghost knows he should not look at the rest of the messages. This was clearly not just drunk gibberish. He should close the chat, he should never read this.

>> if you where here, I would have sucked your dick instead of getting this drunk <<

>> so it's your fault that I have a hungover when waking up<<

>> hope you think about something to apologise for that <<

>> is your dick big?<<

Oh shit, no, fuck, put the phone away is Ghost brain screaming. But he can't he needs to read very singel one and then he needs a another tea time with Margaret to work trough his this mess.

>> want to ride your dick so bad<<

>> best ass you will ever stick your dick in<<

>> 🥵 <<

>> voice message <<

Ghost does not klick on the voice message, he will never unhear what ever Soap thought he needs to send via audio.

>> I'm so hard for you<<

>> wish you would wank me off right now<<

>> voice message <<

>> if you send me a dick pic in the morning I send you something back <<

>> 🍆💦 🥵<<

>> voice message <<

Ghost drops his phone on the bed, his morning wood, being very intresteted in Soaps text. Apparently Soap is a horny drunk, right Soap is just drunk and horny. No need to get to worked up about, Ghost trys to tell himself so he dont panics. Soap is intresteted in him, in a sexual way. He needs to put a stop to this. This can't happen again, he needs to tell Soap to keep it professional. He picks up his phone again, his hands are shaking. He accidentally plays the last voice message.

"Fuck, Simon. I wish I was covered in your cum instead of my own."

Ghost brain blue screens. The way how Soap is moaning his name, how fucked out and drunk Soap sounds, the dirty confession that Soap yerked of thinking about Ghost. Ghost thinks he was never in his life this hard. This is a problem, a big problem, he can't tell Price about this. Its already bad enough he knows about this text, but Price will send Soap away, this can't happen, not with Ghost knowing how Soap sounds in bed. Johnny made his next move, after Chicago something that should never happen in the first place. And he set Ghost check mate, freeing a hungry beast, that's only goal is to taste Soap till nothing is left.

When Soap wakes up he just want to die. He sent 20 very embarrassing messages to Ghost. And worst Ghost saw them, ge can inly hope the other didn't listen to the voice messages. He looks through his gallery seeing the selfie he 'promised' to send Ghost for a dick pic. Oh god, what did drunk Soap thought to make such a selfie. Who did he even wrote 'property of Ghost' on his ass? Drunk Soap has some concerning skills. Ghost will kill him when he's back from leave. He deletes the picture and well he has to ask Price to assign him to a new unit. This is so embarrassing, god he cant even tell anyone the reason he left the 141. I drunk sexed the Ghost and survived, everyone would want to see prove of this. He can't, he just have to hope Ghost kills him quickly on the next mission. The worst is he really wants this dick pic.

>> I'm so sorry LT, I fucked up. I understand if you kill me for this<<

[banepenis]

Anyone else noticed this?

I really don't quite know how to formulate words to convey what I'm talking about in a way that doesn't make me sound like the most boring, shit-headed navelgazer, but, it's one of those things that, like, it's that nagging tiny bit of confusion that just won't go away, you're like waiting for that moment where you open the fridge door and suddenly just go "OH, I GET IT", but it hasn't arrived yet and it's looking less and less likely that it's ever going to happen, so, might as well send out my thoughts in the vain hope that someone can explain this to me. Still pisses me off just how much of a stupid thing to get this borderline obsessed over this is, but, man, I'm desperate.

So, like, basically everyone is familiar with the varying stages of, like, product placement in various places, and publicity stunts that every corp does from the tiniest startup to the huge giants who get sway in global politics. Like Mr. Peanut dying of septicaemia and then age regressing into a nutlet and then getting over it. The Mountain Dew-centric The Walking Dead episode. That one male BPD movie that was an elaborate commercial for Kraftwerk. The UK bread brand Hovis pivoting into beer and doing the annoying yeast connection and then getting it incorporated into the third season of Succession for all the alcoholism scenes. TF2 crossover items. It shows up in the weirdest ways, and sometimes it's "Char Aznable car" funny, sometimes it's sneaker war crimes. Gut punches and tummy ticklers.

Anyway, uh, I was with a few friends, playing the new Don't Starve Together special event. It's like a, I dunno some sort of "oh people are playing this game again, time to do a welcome back event to keep 'em coming" kind of thing, whatever, it's kind of neat, no weird season pass things just some cool largely aesthetic-only events that you can see if you frot a bush too weird. So like, I'm foraging, kind of just waiting around for everyone else to finish up with their really important thing they're doing, since I'd already finished up my chores like a handsome cherub of a boy boy, and I notice I pick up an item I haven't seen before. Some sort of junk, kind of thing you can probably refine into some basic resource, but I look at it, right? It's a can of Coca Cola. Like, unambiguously. Except, like, it doesn't say Coca Cola on it? Or even like, Coke? It just says "COLA'S" on it. That's weird, like, I heard they got this kind of brand deal, but why would they then just completely fake it for the joke, like McDoneits? And like. It's not uncommon to put references to things in item descriptions, it's cute sometimes. I read over this Coke can's description over and over again and I just can't fucking parse it. It just says, "WITH OR WITHOUT, CAN YOU TAKE IT?" It's some completely bullshit, absurd, over-the-top creepypasta "hyperrealistic blood from the eyes" type wording. Never seen it before.

So I like, look it up, boolean my DuckDuckGo searches, safe search off just in case, and it, like, takes me to just the regular old Coke website. On the front page, where they've got their current events and whatnot usually, it's just this huge diatribe about this new, "healing, feedback-responsive" re-branding effort they're doing? Which, first of all, makes no fucking sense. Like, the Pepsi UNIVERSE thing, where that one guy just went cummy about that peculiar and homely sphere, was unfathomable, but there was something comprehensible about it. And the time that the 7-Up Insurgency Split-off company made weird new flavors in celebration of their new creative freedoms like "CHERRY HELL" and "BLUE PINEAPPLE" and "CANDLEJACK SAUCE" and "TOP SHOT NASTY", a little unsettling, sure, but there have been weirder things. Like binky-inspired Victims of Communism merch you can buy to support your favorite loser and go sucksuck. "COLA'S" is just someone pretending to be excited the product, and they made it the new name of their whole company.

Whatever, I think, you know, I really don't care about what they do with their canned beverages and their skins, I won't be hocking any more or less loogies into strangers' cans while they're distracted by my long and awesome length, it really doesn't affect me. But nobody else is talking about this. It's, like, right on the website. I asked my friends, who I was gaming with in our TeamSpeak 3 polycule server (I'm not a part of any of that but like I'm cool so I get the member's pass) and they said they hadn't seen the item, so when they get back from chewing the cud I give it to them, and they pass it around like a biscuit, and they go "huh, weird". Completely reasonable reaction, the one I wish I could have had. I tell them this is apparently just the new great venture for Coke. They call me a retard, and it harms me a lot more than I made obvious because like, whatever, who cares? And I like, log onto my computer, and I send them screenshots of the Coke website. They call me a dumbass, it's fake, which humor man X account did I get this one from, when did I make this, dude we were gone for like five minutes what's your issue, you're pushing this way too hard. So I give them the link. They see it and then they go "okay". EUREKA! THANK GOD THEY UNDERSTOOD ME! WHAT WOULD I FOR MORE HAPPY!! But they kind of just leave it at that, they don't have much of an opinion about shit. That's why I'm not in the polycule, you know? Because I care.

Cut to the next day, we're not gaming anymore, I turned off your computer, I'm waking up from my new nightmare where no matter what I do I just can't stop that rat fuck Marley & Me from dying. I'm on my plane to my job at the biggest train on the country, I'm the one they let drive the train because I'm frequently the one so savant enough to track which button I have to push or lever I have to tug like a senior's pud to make the fuel squirt, the wheels whirl, the tracks widen, my fingers happen, the house on the other end of the house, and the pessengers hear my voice so I can tell them about the foods available at every station we'll be stopping at. Obviously I start my day at a train station, one of the ones at the very end, where the train is sheathed. First shift isn't until 20 minutes from now, so I'm just waddling around like a detective, get to see the guys who get paid to salivate on the walls so all the posters stick. Say hey, how're you doing, quite the weather to have, right? Yeah yeah, they say, kind of brushing me off like I'm a wasp but I slick back my wet hair and take it so cool. See the posters they're currently lubing up with tongue and buds.

It's a Coca Cola poster. An "old" one. Just completely normal. It's got "HAVE A COKE WITH THRUPPENCE" on it, like the good old days. I can hardly contain my anger. So I grab this guy by theHey guys does anyone have any recollection of this one TV show were it was, like, it wasn't Too Many Cooks, it was about these two guys where one of them was really, really huge, and the other one was about as tiny as a regular old thumbtack. I don't remember a damn thing about any of it, I'm pretty sure they just fucked around with recipes? Like one of them made a huge loaf of cake and the other one made a tiny little slab of cake instead, because he's approximately the size of a man if he were scaled exactly proportionately down to about two inches with like a ray gun or something. Heh. So like these chefs were, I think one of them could fly? I'm pretty sure it was the big guy who could fly and the small one could hop into one of his folds and travel around the world, helping people solve their cooking conundrums wherever they may end up. I don't think any of the lore of the show was all that well established in the show, they had too much action to get out of the way, it really sometimes did feel like they just, HAPPENED to show up at the place where someone gummed up their grandma's special recipe cup of spum. It really wouldn't surprise me if these charlatans were responsible for cursing all of these cooking appliances so they could engage in heroic deeds to spread their fame and famous, they really did seem like opportunists. Pinstripe personified. A real barberslop quartet.

At last, it's whatever, I'm completely spent, it's like, every single day for months and months goes like this, nobody's believing me, acting like I'm some kind of guy who cried hello, telling me like my information is at war because I'm conspiring about something stupid, it's just another day in the life of a monosexual. I'm getting the plane home and I have my check in hand, with all of those sweet, sweet dollars in my hands, the sweat from my palms is making the ink run but that's how I like it, give those thankless fuckheads at the bank something to challenge themselves with during their workday, I see them, always on my phone, looking at TEXTS, useing YOUBE. Yutube I mean. God, what would you do without me. You're kind of weird for ordering oinge juice with ice though, by the way. And your hair is dripping into my food. So, anyway, as I was saying, cokes just tugging my rump all the time with this shit. I don't wanna start going ME ME ME about everything but I'm fucking APPARENTLY the only guy in the world who knows anything about this, even though it's RIGHT FUCKING THEIR, and the COLA COMPANY, who is basicly like your teacher if you've lived in America, is just changing itself so weirdly and not even the lowest common denominator social meteor jokester is willing to go "uh, THIS just happened" about it. I can't fucking stand it, man! You can't just, do this to a guy. I'm fucking sick to my stomash. God. Oh, yeah, hey, waiter, any idea how long my mancakes will arrive? "Did I say pancakes", is that what you said? Yeah, that's what I said. Boing. Right, where was I, what are we here for... ah yeah, so like, I heard this Formula 1 thing is going well. Is that like a new thing? It seems really cool, nothing way cooler than a bunch of latex clad dudes sucking as fast as they can in big lead chambers of invisible fire. You think I could get into that? Like, I got my license when I was younger, zero points on it, I think there's no way that they can just refuse a guy fWait hold on what was that I said earli

[puckish-rogue]

Lore Dump: Current State of Affairs

Note: The following is a discussion on this blog's main verse and what one could expect when doing crossover threads. As the original SR series is effectively dead in the ground, and as someone who wasn't the biggest fan of how it ended, I am basing this entirely off of my own ideas regarding canon, and my revised version of the third game. Please note that at this point in time, I do not have a post that details just what exactly I've done to rework the events of the third game. So until such a post is made, feel free to send me questions regarding just about anything; from plot points, characters, the setting, and so on. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy what's spoken about here.

Something that I've always been fascinated by were the long-lasting consequences of what the Saints had done during the gang war in Steelport. Because let's be real here; the fact that a street gang was able to completely wipe out a large scale criminal organization, whose power and connections were on a global scale, and win against a paramilitary task force that was under the control and supervision of the US government, which was more than likely really fucking embarrassing for them, is monumental.

And when I say monumental, I mean do you know how fucking insane that is? Like, do you know how that's going to affect the world? I would not put it past any kind of governing body to get a wee bit paranoid over this shit. "Well, if the Saints were able to hold their own against the fucking US military, what does that tell every other criminal organization across the globe?". That's horrifying for people in high positions of power! It sets an example. Plants an idea.

So, I can see them trying to deal with this in a number of ways; either they start dumping all their money into law enforcement in order to counteract organized crime, stay vigilant and play by ear, hire outside forces (I like to consider the Masako and STAG as the catalyst for PMC's becoming much more prevalent in this world). Or, special bonus crime answer, you work with OTHER criminal organizations in order to take out what you consider a huge threat. No matter what choice is made, the end result is all of them coming off as if they're panicking like crazy.

Something to consider as well is the public's perception towards what transpired in Steelport, and the way everything was handled. While the Saints' general popularity may have waned somewhat, there's definitely people out there coming to their defense. Or, at the very least, arguing in their favor. They could be seen as arguably better than a lot of the gangs they've gone up against (something that is hinted at in NPC dialogue during the second game), and they did prevent an entire city from being demolished because the US left a dude in charge who would do absolutely anything in his power to get the job done. So, like, hmm, maybe funny purple gang is a necessary evil?

But on the contrary we have the obvious. "How can you defend a bunch of criminals? Maybe things wouldn't have escalated this badly if they weren't around. These people are scumbags! Worst of the worst! And their leader is a godforsaken psychopath (sociopath, maniac, nutcase, whatever you feel like blurting out that day)". None of it is particularly surprising. Most folk don't really like the idea of letting a gang exist, no matter what sort of perceived "good" they might have done for the community. These are also the same kind of people who may even support whatever kind of law or program may be used in order to strike back against organized crime, regardless of how it may impede upon their life or the lives of other people.

"And what about the criminal underworld? Wouldn't this affect them too? Oh, please tell me more, Andre! You're very smart and creative." Ha ha! Why thank you, Hypothetical Person. But, yes, the criminal underworld will absolutely be affected. I mean, put yourself in the position of a gang leader; how would you personally feel seeing the Saints accomplish such an incredible feat? Either you're gonna try gunning for their leader's head, find yourself inspired enough to try and be just a little bit bolder, recognize the potential threat they are to your empire, or be a real stupid motherfucker and continue to underestimate them. It's highly dependent on the gang itself and the kind of person leading them.

The Saints are in a very interesting position currently. They have cemented themselves as a criminal organization to keep an eye on. A gang that has the potential to put themselves in the history books depending on what choices they make. And knowing how ruthlessly ambitious The Boss happens to be, it is almost guaranteed that the Saints will be doing whatever possible in order to expand this empire of theirs, no matter who might stand in their way.

It is the dawn of a new era within this world, and the 3rd Street Saints are carving their path to greatness.

[mememanufactorum]

Things I've said to my friends out of context (July 2023 edition)

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

Stop tiptoeing your fucking death.

I see someone else has played Project Wingman.

Get your Taco Bell orchestrion roll.

I already know the smart thing to do in this situation, but when you're both enforcing it on me like this, it makes me want to buy it out of spite.

It'll just make my bank angrier, that's all.

Don't you flimflam me here, fucker.

HOW MANY LAYERS OF NEGATIVES ARE YOU GONNA BE ON?

HEY YOU WANNA SHOOT SOME OUTER GODS?

Have we just been Mandela Effecting ourselves this entire time into thinking that [name] was ever smart?

But there's a lot of little factors that probably wouldn't end up killing things that are already basically dead.

Dogs don't tend to like fireworks.

He wanted the magic fire stick.

I have TWO legs.

Where's the part where God sends down legally distinct Godzilla?

God wants to pick a fight with the human race? We're going to shoot God.

We don't quite have the power of God and anime on our side, but we do have the power of anime and a ridiculous defense budget.

One guy manages to survive and put out his own fire by RAPIDLY SPINNING on the ground.

Sure hope he found out he can punch his own shotgun blasts.

You know the funny thing? I wasn't about to yell at [name].

Man goes "Who the hell is Story of the Year?" I felt personally attacked.

I learned to claw and I liked it.

Just don't stare at the mirror, that way you don't have to worry about the mirror demons.

Whatever you do, don't look up Tallgeese Flugel.

Everything exists so [name] and [name] can slam and jam.

So I have finally found something that made me experience cringe overload for the first time in years.

I feel like I got gut-punched.

How the fuck did you make it through 90% of this game without ever using items?

You know how my ass has consistently played Pokemon since I was a kid? Pick my starter, literally use nothing but my starter, Unga Bunga my way through 100% of the game. Wing bang boom done.

Thank God we don't actually live in Armored Core timeline shenanigans, because something like this would probably result in war crimes between corporate mercenaries using mechs.

Missile launcher: Not actually a missile launcher. Just fires non-explosive, pointy, metal rods.

I also have food, you're not so special.

It wasn't just that I walked into a web, it's that fucking spooders kept shooting webs at me.

That's super fucking rude of you.

Fuck it. Take me, YHVH.

I'll blare Ace of Spades by Motorhead the whole time while we're on the freeway and the whole trip will take less than 2 hours.

Drop the bomb on me, [name]. I'm ready.

But if the dog comes to me and refuses to leave me, I have no choice but to give the affection.

I want to go back to the times where I could shitpost openly again.

Bad cosplay. He still has two arms.

So [name] is about to get BAJA BLASTED for once.

I am not sure what to say other than the fact that this sounds like an intricately layered shitcake.

Surely you would not mix and match M&M's and Skittles together, right?

You're both fucking creatures.

You fucking nondescript entity, beyond a creature at this point.

So I reserve the right to sit back and heckle from my heckler box.

I bet you ate it like a squirrel.

[simmonsized]

⭐Star⭐

star! again! gasp, wheeze. the pressure to come up with something.

man i am terrible at coming up with things to talk about here

UPDATE: my friend has given me a list of things to talk about. since it's like, you know, once ask, one thing, I will be talking about, as @alexharrier put it, "The Significance of the Dorito Locos Tacos."

This is going to be a bit silly, and probably also not like, completely non-nonsensical. Bear with me, maybe?

(Inevitably we will also cover some of la petite mort. hoping i won't have to explain the name to anyone, since you know. it's one of those terrible jokes we all hate.) <- SPOILERS FROM FUTURE ME: we cover la petite mort (ch 6)

So I guess the way it started was my own, personal enjoyment of these little nightmares, but also because Doritos feature pretty heavily in my Striderian lore. Or rather, Nacho Doritos specifically are a staple part.

Why, you may ask?? Well, it's simple really.

It all comes back to Mad Snacks Yo.

Well, that and the Braj Shop from Paradox Space. The weird secret to me is like, I mean I don't actually care that deeply about canon specifics but i LOVE to make little nods and references to them

In this case, I guess I decided that Doritos, specifically nacho Doritos, were a Staple part of the Strider household diet, and then I just. Dug in. sometimes, the why is just "because it's fun," and because there were other little canon things that just kept leading me back to Nacho Doritos.

And! Since I was like, man poor Dirk probably has grown up with all these references to Taco Bell built into Alpha Dave's work, which, yes, I was this deep in at this point, I decided he would probably be deeply interested in seeing what fast food had to offer him.

That and, if you did not know, or are not Logged The FUCK into the Taco Bell wikia like I am, Nacho Doritos Locos Tacos came out in February of 2012. It's like the fucking stars aligned, my friends. It was meant to be.

Much like Dirk, some of my best ideas come to me in the shower. Most of the time I do not climb out to get my phone to text them to people, but. You know. Special cases and what have you.

Also not to-- well yes to get deep into it. When you're juggling a cast and such, sometimes finding moments Alone can be difficult. This chapter required me getting Bro and Dave alone. At this point in time, Dave has been avoiding Bro on purpose, basically shrugging him off onto Dave, letting him handle it because if he does the work, Dave doesn't have to think about it, and doesn't have to think about all the complicated feelings he has in relation to Bro being back from the dead. He's also still dealing with the Dirk thing so. Yeah, his shit is fucked up.

He needed to talk to someone who isn't Dirk, and talking to Rose didn't make him feel worse, but it didn't make him feel Better either. So you know, while not reliable, Bro is the only adult Dave has ever really known, except maybe like, five seconds of Dad Crocker right before the End of the Game.

Also I already talked about ch 16 but this is the start of Dave's real "Bro is Actually Here and is a Person": "You let that feeling build up in your chest, and find it at war with your desperate need to make sure he isn't dying again. Fuck you couldn't even get the katana out of his chest. You wonder, hysterically, if he's got a scar."

Idk if I talked about this but at this point Bro is still re-calibrating, kind of stuck in between "i'm alive??? does not compute" and being fuzzy and confused and tbh, quite fucked up lol. can we get into lil cal and his influence? yes. should we?? nah probably not. should Bro be driving???? nO????????????????? but god, who else will deliver us taco bell. ubereats did not rear it's ugly head til '15, and in some places we are sTILL struggling to get these doritos locos tacos to the people. it's a crime, really. RIP in peace to the fucking beefy nacho burrito, but may the beefy 5 layer live on in its spirit.

The other point of the Trip to Taco Bell is that it is (said above) Bro and Dave's first REAL interaction. this is Dave dealing with a person he hasn't known for three years, who is fundamentally the same, yet so, so different. Bro's thoughts are ?????? shaded from us at this point, but I think he cares less about actually being different rather than just doing what is "easier," and in this instance, this means conceding to Dave's visceral reactions to pretty much each and every single thing he does. he's annoyed, but he's also a jackass, so who cares about his feefees.

fun little parallel we see in ch 31 later first begins in ch 6 too (not taco bell related): You stare. He curtsies. You scowl.

Anyway so this is one of them Pivotal Car Scenes. It is the moment I consider one of my Most Important (i like to use the capitals for emphasis). There's a lot I could say but like, those conflicting feelings are super important to me. Dave saw Bro as this giant, a hero he could never live up to, and now he is just some tired dude, but also simultaneously the same person, but Dave(sprite) wants better, and Dave is realizing, maybe, just maybe, he is allowed to want better, too. That that first death doesn't have to be the end of everything.

And then of course the tacos. You know, first of all, they are fucking delicious. Second of all, it's a silly little bonding moment for them, and then becomes a moment that is so sincere that Dave ruins it by admitting to his uh. Compulsion. as it were.

Anyway so this is just i guess. the beginning of the Dorito Locos Tacos extended universe. The tacos and their conversation and the staple of that horrible neon orange shell has radiated throughout time and space (aka, several different fics, none of which i will mention here lol)

But more importantly, today my friends openly admitted that they cannot help but think of rng when they go to to taco bell, and really, what better legacy could i possibly have?

Basically the Dorito Locos Tacos managed to create a cornerstone First Step, as it were, and uh. Well to this day chapter 6 is still my absolute FAVORITE chapter i've ever written so! idk if that says anything about me but there we have it.

[lazarettta]

Misthios

Characters (Reader x Mother Miranda...?) 👀

Rating (T)

Word Count (2.8k)

Warnings (none, first half is has no dialogue, writing while high,)

Once her little warrior, always her little warrior.

I'm sorry if it's hot 🗑💀

The fire was finally the way you wanted it and you could finally fucking rest. You'd been hiking all goddamn day through the rain and snow, and you just wanted a minute to rest and to eat. The sun was starting to set and you still needed to set up your tent, but for the moment you were content to just sit on the log and get warm.

“Who'd ever think a Spartan would be in Rome looking for answers, hm?” it was ironic, how you would've been accused of being a traitor or something like that back then. Ha...back then?

Truthfully you weren't sure anymore where your life really started it's been so long, centuries really if you were being honest. Sometimes even your own secrets were too overwhelming for you to admit, and as the years continued to pass you by it was getting harder and harder for you to hold onto the same principles you once believed in. The wars you've participated in, two of them by choice...and as a favor for the third.

It shouldn't have been possible but it was for you, it was both a blessing and a curse because you were nothing special...you grew up with Spartan blood running through your veins, pushed at a young age to hunt and to protect, it was a common tradition for families then, especially for the oldest or only children. Your didn't ever recall your father, he died in battle before you were born but your mother was there, always. Even if her face was blurry after all of the time that has passed you by—you still remember her teachings and her technique. Your mother was the best hunter in Sparta, proudly.

But after...after her passing, the streets taught you how to be a mercenary at a young age...and then an assassin, not by choice but by necessity because you weren't a good person then, not really, and you still weren't now...but you still had the will do what was right, and so you did.

And maybe that is why the Gods did not let you die in the battlefield when you'd been caught off guard, for what is no longer relevant as it is now long gone, but the scar left through your heart would forever stain you inside and out by some random Greek bastard. You don't remember much of the dying part as much as you remembered how badly it hurt and how livid you were watching him stand over you with his bloody sword raised to the heavens. But just like your pain, that emotion was ebbed away as you laid there dying.

And die you did. And your body laid there for who knows how long but when you woke up, oh you sprung up ready to fight but there wasn't a fight left to be had...the war was over...but you didn't know that until you woke up the second time. Not realizing that your body was next to be burned in the ditch as the battlefield was being cleared of all the corpses from both sides. A gruesome chore performed by the prisoners taken by Sparta.

You had no idea why the Gods healed you and brought you back from the dead, you didn't deserve a second chance (at the time you didn't realize that it was a power). You were blessed by the Gods and that's all that it was, people looked at you with both awe and envy. Some gave all of their iron and dearest family possessions as a gift to the Gods in hopes that their wishes were granted. They hated you and you did not care. You were unstoppable, everyone wanted your attention and your skills—it made you arrogant and stupid for years. And when you caught a pretty nasty gash across your back from a werewolf that ambushed you and your horse, your leathers had been torn and bloody by the time you speared your way through four of those beasts. But while there was blood, there was no wound...the only evidence were the scars it left behind.

Snap!

You turned your head slightly, a few strands of your hair falling in front of your ever sharp (y/e/c) eyes. You stayed perfectly still, eyes scanning the forest surrounding you but there was nothing after several moments. Just as well...with a loud sigh, you finally got up to put up your tent for the night and probably for the next few nights too. You slipped your hunting knife back into your boot but kept it unhooked just in case.

You lived in a time where guns existed but you were always better with a blade. You may not be an active misthios now (mercenary in today's world) but old habits were hard to kick. You were too old and too wise now, even if you didn't look a day over twenty-eight.

The next morning...

You woke with a start your grip around your obsidian hunting knife so tight your knuckles your skin strained against bone. You didn't have a dream but something woke you up, and it wasn't those damn birds chirping literally above your tint. With the help of the morning sun you could even see the spot where one of them pooped. Great. You laid there for a few more minutes, finally relaxed enough to move. You checked your surroundings again, walking around your camp but that feeling of unease didn't go away but it wasn't as strong.

Today was clearer than it was the day before though you still had to deal with the snow and the cold, not that either really bothered you too much. Leaving your camp behind, marking the trees so that you had a way to find your way back through these unfamiliar woods, you set off to find breakfast. You came to an edge, a cliff's peak and you went to stand on the edge of it—to maybe see the rest of the mountain you were exploring but something caught your immediate attention.

When was the last time you ever saw a castle? Not...not those tourist marks they have all over Europe but a castle. The place was eerie but most castles always felt that way to you...but this was different? It was as if the castle was looking right back at you, mocking you. From your vantage point you could make out the edges of a lake through the thick trees, you couldn't see it very well but you could tell it wasn't small nor was it man-made.

It was a pleasant surprise to discover this as you assumed that your trip would mostly be you exploring this cold ass mountain without a proper guide but you didn't need anyone to know why you were really up here, your reasons concerned no one but yourself. That and you knew you'd end up leading your guide. You were better off alone. Or at least that's what you kept telling yourself that but those words stopped being comforting a very long time ago. Not like fate was giving you much of a fucking choice though.

Your stomach growled, reminding you of your hunt...you glanced down at the village below the castle curiously before turning away from the ledge, the heavy aura of the castle still on your back.

~~

Fat and full, that's exactly how you'd describe yourself at the moment. There were more predators in the area than there were prey it seemed but the rabbit you caught seemed plentiful enough. With winter kicking in, the most worrisome predator in the woods would be hibernating leaving nothing but the wolves and maybe a mountain lion for you to deal with if you're lucky. You hefted your smaller backpack onto your back and left your camp, deciding to check out the village to see if you could learn more about the castle.

You were both excited and curious, you'd spent a majority of your modern life exploring the wonders of the Earth and using the currency you've collected throughout your lifetimes to fund whatever myth caught your eye. In other words, you were bored but the thought of war and fighting no longer made your blood sing or your heart race. You've done so much of that already, and lost so much because of it.

“Get back! Get back! Agh—GET THE FUCK BACK!”

Your legs stopped moving immediately and your gloved hand was already wrapped around the hilt of your hunting knife, ears trained. You heard growling and barking not too far from where you stood, maybe two or three hundred feet to your right just through those bushes and that fallen tree. It sounded as if someone was having a bit of trouble with a pack of wolves. Which struck you as odd, you were still pretty high up on the mountains and you hadn't seen anyone else up here in a week, so it couldn't have been a local...could it?

The growling grew more intense and there were sounds of a scuffle and grunts but the man still sounded alive.

And it wasn't your problem. Your days of coming to the rescue were over. You allowed your hand to fall from your knife. You got maybe seven steps away before the man spotted you, he caught a glimpse of your fur lined hood and started screaming for you to help him just as one of the wolves snapped the branch he was holding in half, forcing his back against a tree. His time was counting down now.

He was yelling so loud, you were sure even the villagers could hear him now. There was no way you could walk away now.

“Fucking hell.” with a heavy sigh, you dropped your backpack and stalked in the direction of the soon to be crime scene. You didn't feel the need to mask your presence, you wanted the wolves to know that you were there and that ultimately saved that man's life. The wolves were honed in on you the moment you stepped through the bush but three shots echoed through the small clearing before any of them could pounce in your direction. The echoes faded away quickly, and you sighed again watching the white snow stain red beneath the furry corpses.

The only other sound heard was the man's heavy breathing as he leaned against a tree. You looked down at your gun before putting it back in it's holster on your lower back, you may prefer blades but it was always better to have something and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

“Thank...thank you,”

You looked at the man with furrowed brows...just by looking at him, you knew that he wasn't a native but the moment he opened his mouth only confirmed it. He was American...you spotted all of his gear nearby, torn to shreds and you scoffed.

“I don't think camping is for you.”

“I don't think so either,” He tried for a smile but it was only a grimace, the blonde man pushed himself from the tree and approached you, carefully stepping around the wolves bodies, “I'm uh a bit lost, I guess.”

“And I'm leaving.”

“Wait!” he rushed around you, stopping you and you could've gone through the man if you wanted to...you were taller than him by an inch or two, and you definitely had more mass than he probably knew what to do with, “Listen, I'm obviously not from here, but I'm trying to find my daughter okay, she's—”

“I'm not from around here,” you held your hand to make him stop while simultaneously telling yourself that you're not about to get involved in someone else's mess and derail your own mission, “I'm sorry about your kid, but I can't help you.”

He frowned at you obviously not happy with your answer but he was quickly reaching into his pocket and any normal person, especially someone who is armed, would've taken a step back but you weren't some ordinary person. You simply raised an eyebrow, because you knew that he wasn't going to attack you even though he was probably fully capable of doing so. You assumed that he was about to dig out a baby picture or something but it was just a sheet of paper with writing on it. You took it before he could shove the damn thing in your face and you looked down at it carefully, keeping your face neutral.

“I can't read whatever language that is.”

You glared up at him from beneath your lashes, “And you think that I can?”

“Can you?” he shot back, and you rolled your eyes...your attention back to the paper before shoving it back in his hands, “Well?”

You nearly scowled at his impatience, “It's a mix of Romanian, Serbian and Tatar. Whoever sent that clearly doesn't want anyone else to know what's on it.”

“So you can read it then?”

“Bits and pieces,” You said with a shrug, “I'm not expert but someone named Beneviento is demanding a shorter route for wine delivery from that giant castle.”

He stared at you then down to the paper, which was full from top to bottom, then back to you, “What...that's all? Are you sure?? No, that can't be all...there has to be something about my daughter here! Here, please, just try again slower—”

“That's all I could read.” you shouldered past him, throwing your hood back up and ignoring his calls after you. Your backpack was exactly where you dropped it, you shook off the snow and threw it back on your back not caring about the cool wetness on your back now—you just wanted to get away from this area as quickly as possible. You should've used your knife as those gunshots gave away your position.

“Amateur hour everyone,” you grumbled under your breath...you veered off the path slightly, just in case he tried to follow you (wouldn't be the first time someone tried to force you to help them).

You'd maybe walked for a mile or two down the mountain before you noticed the hairs on the back of your neck standing, you chanced a casual glance over your shoulder but there was no one there, no man nor animal. Licking your dry lips you turned back around but as you were doing so, you caught something in your peripheral. A dark figure, twenty feet away and that's when you noticed how fucking quiet everything was around you...you forced yourself to keep walking even as a feeling of dread began crawling up your back, like two sharp fingers walking along the ridges of your spine.

Pushing the hood from your head, you whirled around with your knife drawn at your side gripping it with the intentions to kill but there was nothing there except two large obsidian feathers fluttering gently down onto the snow at your boots. Feathers?

Cool breath touched the base of your neck when you heard soft chuckling directly behind you. You turned around sharply, easily flipping your knife around but the mass of darkness in front of you disoriented you for a split second and that was all this creature needed. Before you could plunge your knife into it's feathery belly, a pale hand shot out and caught your wrist in a bruising grip as another hand curled itself around your throat, sharp nails oh so slightly pricking your skin.

You were about to kick away when the creature leaned forward, and it's face came from beneath the hood...only it wasn't an it, it was a she, though her entire face was hidden by the gold headgear you could see her lips and...and her eyes.

A pair of eyes you'd never forget in any of your lifetimes. It felt like a millennia ago when those eyes alone had you on your knees covered in fresh warm blood and exhausted from tearing through small armies.

Despite yourself, you were trembling in her ironclad grip, your hand that wasn't still trapped fruitlessly came up to wrap around her wrist as if that was going to help you. You both knew that it wouldn't. She brought you closer until your feet were no longer on the ground and you could feel the tip of your blade pressing against something...no, her...and your nose was nearly touching her helmet.

“ο μικρός μου πολεμιστής...” (my little warrior...) her cool breath washed over your face, her eyes still boring down into yours so intensely you swore you felt the heat, even as her hand tightened around your throat making you choke, but you were fighting against her... “επιτέλους ήρθες σπίτι μου...” her chuckle fell on deaf ears. (you've finally come home to me...)

~~

You were supposed to run into Alcina first 😭, but Miranda works too...(save the best for last obvi) I don't know I am playing Odyssey while waiting for this game to drop and I went The Old Guard route too so then I just ended up writing some shit, and I wanted to try something that's not so maiden-esque lol so I hope it's enjoyable at least...I honestly might make this a WIP...

[delusion-of-negation]

Disabled people are the "silent" majority of the oppressed. Any race, sex, gender, ethnicity, religion, EVERYONE can be disabled, but even though you can find disabled people everywhere, they're still those who nobody cares about. If you are oppressed because of your disability, no one seems to care. They think a wheelchair ramp and a handicapped toilet is all you need, and that's it. When you point out issues in the world against the disabled, abled people will be genuinely surprised by it!

most people will either die young or become disabled. it's inevitable. fixing ableism isn't even like other oppressions where they're an ally out of compassion alone, they need to be our ally because one day they will be us. and even that isn't enough to convince them to be our allies. I can't imagine the levels of cognitive dissonance a person needs to have to hear "this will affect you. your only escape from this is death." and be like "I'm sure I'll be fine." and people will straight up just cut us out, dismiss us, invalidate us, not give a shit when our issues come up, etc.

a great example was how the main reason the pandemic was "not a big deal" was that it mainly was deadly for us, and few people cared to even note how fucked that is to say, just pointed out it didn't only kill us - and we have a great example of a situation those same people would call absolutely heinous, in political messaging around the aids crisis. except, and even the people who do note it with the pandemic forget this point, almost every disease that "isn't that bad" comes with the same caveat - the flu, for example, is mainly a threat to us.

disability is this odd case of victimisation that you will almost certainly fall victim to, yet one of the most (after ageism, which often comes hand in hand with ableism anyway, especially with regards to the elderly, and is also inevitable if you live long enough) disregarded forms of oppression. it's wild man.

and here's a fun game, do you know what the more common name for "angels of death" is (that is, those who kill patients in their care, usually that's referring to serial killers who kill especially sick patients either to exercise power or to "put them out of their misery", but it also may include things like carers who put people in dangerous situations to "save" them for the praise, but kill them in the process, and that broad range between)? it's "angels of mercy". there's a specific type of serial killer that targets us, and the most common name for them is saying it's an act of mercy. and I have had multiple conversations, with everyone from laymen to medical professionals, that at some point result in me hearing the words "you can see where they're coming from though". no, my friend, I cannot see where the person who likes to kill disabled and ill people is coming from.

and guess who, on top of lgbt+ people, is usually brushed over on the list of who nazis killed? and guess who often can't get out of abusive situations since the government may give their abuser complete control of their attorney, finances, paperwork, housing, care, etc etc? and guess who doesn't have marriage equality? the opioid crisis was sometimes partially fostered by meds thrown at us without care for their potential addictive nature, proper attention paid to warning and monitoring, and so forth, and the backlash of doctors recently barely prescribing addictive drugs fucks us over just as bad, because our conditions sometimes necessitate those drugs to be bearable. how many more examples do I have to list?

and most buildings don't even have the wheelchair ramps that y'all seem to think are all we need. and you gotta use a special key to open what few disabled loos there are, and you're screwed if you forget it. why is the public toilet locked? we're in a supermarket sharon, what war crimes could possibly be committed with that little hand rail you had installed?

are y'all really fine with the knowledge that one day you're going to be carrying around keys so that you can use supermarket toilets, you won't be able to get into most buildings, people won't care about diseases that mainly kill you, and if your doctor murders you for it people will say he kinda had a point? and that's just a fraction of a fraction of the bullshit you'll deal with on a daily basis, on top of being in constant pain from the illness itself, and as mentioned that will be worse if people still think the right response to "we weren't careful enough to monitor patients on these or with who we gave them to" is "fuck your pain, this drug is evil". every decision and move you make for the rest of your life, from the moment you get the first suspicion that this is something serious, to years later when your doctor finally listens, to the day you die, will be coloured by illness and by a world of arduous paperwork, incessant insults, demeaning treatment, disregard for your life, and inaccessibility in areas you did not even realise could be this difficult to do, in ways that could be so easily rectified if anyone cared to put in the tiny bit of effort.

anyway, I'm gonna go watch youtube videos and not see a single flashing warning, but I guess people can feel free to tell me how casual disregard for risk of death to us really isn't as common as I make it sound.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Can you say/write more about Darcy's redemption?

So like.

Throughout Season 1, we do see good in all three Trix. Mostly with each other, because they see each other like sisters. But Darcy gets a special mention because she does date Riven.

Yeah she was kiiiiinda using him for info on the Winx, but she wouldn't have actually dated him if she didn't genuinely like him, and near the initial end of the relationship she is beginning to broach the subject of telling him their plans with the Dragon Flame and asking him to join them.

She just doesn't know how to explain all that without sounding bad. Which. Yeah she does start to realize 'hm. Maybe I'm going to far with this.'

Darcy's redemption arc really kicks off from her going 'Look, I'm a powerhungry bitch. I can excuse a lot of shit. But I don't want straight up murder."

So she does end up doing most of the things with Icy and Stormy throughout the season. But as things escalate she's bluffing her potential to murder, thinking the other two are as well (Riven does call her out on her bluff, but it doesn't convince anyone else).

It's only when Icy and Stormy decide to summon the Army of Decay that she really defects. Because everything prior? They didn't kill anyone. And even knowing that people would fight against them in taking over, she would use non-lethal force to stop them, and even if it did lead to actual war, well, casualties of war are always a little different than straight up murder.

The Army of Decay though.... that kind of thing is made to kill. You can't fight non-lethally with that thing. (They're lucky that there aren't actually any casualties since the battle doesn't go on too long.)

Darcy tries to stop the other two before they can summon it, but is overpowered and locked in the dungeon with the rest of the students and staff from Cloud Tower.

Headmistress Griffin is the main one who talks to her, most of the students being kinda pissed for obvious reasons.

Griffin is a good mentor figure here, and tells Darcy she did the right thing. Ambition, or 'being a powerhungry bitch' as she put it, is not a bad thing in itself. Having limits like that is a good thing.

Darcy helps out the good guys during the rest of the season. Freeing the Witches of Cloud Tower, continuing to fight against Icy and Stormy in the major battle, and telling Bloom what she knows on how the Dragon Flame works so that she can get it back.

Season 2........

Darcy is kinda in like. A 'you're on thin fucking ice' situation. She might've done a lot of sketch shit, but she also helped undo a lot of the damage.

But she does still have to pay for her crimes and the best oppurtunity is some kind of community service.

Initially this was going to be more menial and mundane but..... Well. A lot of Season 2's plot takes place underground against powerful foes. Darcy is a powerful Witch, with Darkness Magic, who can see in the dark. So she gets dragged into the adventures as extra help.

Now that she's being forced to interact with the Winx girls, she does end up befriending them. By the end of Season 2 she does legit consider them friends which. Confuses the shit out of her lmao.

[balmasedas]

desperado / druglord!javier peña au. 

chapter one.

summary: reader is a dea agent. violence has arisen in the streets of colombia and she's determined to bring javier peña to justice. things take an abrupt turn when, instead of her finding him, he finds her and realizes they got much more interest in each other than just drug-related topics. 

warnings: only +18. overall, this is smut so smutty. canon violence. detailed warnings in every chapter. spanish traductions are in the notes, though for the sake of non-spanish speakers, spanish dialogues will be minimal and not relevant to the plot.

word count: 2.5k.

You throw your sweater in the backseat of your car before exiting it. In the morning, you had dug through your boxed-up winter clothes after shivering in your shirt-sleeves as soon as you got out of your department. Now, the temperature has risen to the seventies and you give yourself a clap in the back for deciding to wear something decent underneath. Spring in Colombia is a nightmare.

The crime scene is packed with local police and DEA agents. There are no civilian spectators this time, they know better than sticking their noses in the Medellin's cartel businesses.

Upon your arrival, you don’t need to identify yourself to the uniformed men guarding the perimeter. They know you well by then. You are the only female in the team that has to deal with these kinds of situations —gruesome, gut-churning, dirty shit. Not a very much "lady-like" job, some would express. For that, you have earned yourself the title of a gritty woman. Maybe because you were gritty, maybe because you were a woman.

Sometimes, though, you find yourself wondering why you turned down some run-of-the-mill desk job back in Virginia. It would’ve been a dull routine, for sure — hideous, even; but gossiping about some flash romance between two co-workers is less taxing than having to witness five rotting corpses at first daylight. 

"Jesus Christ," you lift your sunglasses to your head. Your partner, esteemed, weary agent Steve Murphy, turns around at the sound of your voice. 

“You’re up early.” he asserts, with a raised eyebrow. 

You purse your lips. “Had a bad night. Ran out of whisky at one am.” 

Not even Hugo, or Hughie for his gringo friends, could help you. You forgot that his daughter would be celebrating her birthday and his all-night store would be closed until the next morning. Normally, you would own an arsenal of alcohol, but it has been an abnormal week and a hell of a night —starting with the spiral of violence that has arisen in the streets of Medellin.

"Well, look at the bright side: your stomach is empty," Murphy mumbles.

Looking at the bodies in front of you, you can’t agree more: their hands are tied-up to the oxidated wire behind them, hanging by their arms. They are barefoot and scantily clad. There is a visible gunshot wound in all of their front heads, some flies are already hovering around the open flesh. A quick death to eternal torture, you suppose.

"When did you get the call?" you inquire.

He fiddles with his wristwatch. "About two hours ago." you only hum in response, keeping your eyes in front of you and paying no mind to Steve who only grows impatient at your silence. "You think this was Peña's job?" he adds.

You nod in denial. "If it was, it doesn't make sense." Not one bit. "Peña works underground, quiet, like a sneaky rat. I'd even say they're more well-behaved than most cartels. So why do this?"

Why such a declaration of violence? Why draw even more attention from the authorities? 

"Maybe he decided to toughen his punishments?” You scoff at his remark.

“He can do that without half the city knowing it. A ditch is much more subtle than a monument to death blocks from the US embassy.” 

Murphy smirks. “Seems that you have given it a thought before, Sarchie.” you narrow your eyes. He knows you hate that nickname. Your tendencies to boss him around had brought you consequences: the unofficial title of a Sargeant. Sarchie, shortened and friendly.

“Killing someone? Yes, you. Multiple times a day.” you put your sunglasses back on and walk away. The forensic police won’t be there until the next half hour, at least, and you are too disquiet to wait around. Plus, your stomach is growling, but Steve doesn’t need to know that. “We’re gonna need their names, I’ll see what I can find. You have a little chat with the coroner and see if they can speed up the autopsy. The sooner the better, ok?” you spot the smirk on his face. You know what he’s thinking. You shut your car's door and point a finger at him through the window. A clear warning sign in your eyes. “Shut the fuck up and do it.”

(,,,)

Happy hour. You give up on the investigation and stop off at ‘Chiquita’, a popular local bar near your place. The prices are cheap, the drinks aren’t that good but they do the job. The place is crowded — hot couples with wet, glowing skin grinding against each other. Happy or horny or both. You take a mental note to have some fun later. 

As you sip at your bourbon and crack your peanuts, you let yourself dwell on what you found out about your case. You finally got the names of your five guys. For that, much research wasn’t needed: All of them had their IDs in their pockets and they were exactly who you feared they were: no ones. No ties to any big names, no official involvement in any cartel — at the most, a few minor possession charges. As for weeks, your few clues have led to nowhere and the enigma surrounding the Medellin cartel seems to worsen with every minute that passes by.

You hate mysteries. Colombia’s full of them. 

You take your second bourbon in one smooth shot and ask for another. You grab a colombian peso from your wallet and slide it across the wood. Your eyes stop at the picture of your parents that you carry around. It’s tiny and worn, just like your relationship with them. They haven’t heard from you in weeks, a fair deal, if anyone asked. They don’t have to deal with their fucked up daughter and you can focus on your work filled with dead ends and a ghost that haunts you while you’re awake: Javier Peña.

“¹Qué tomas, preciosa?” a velvety voice caresses your ears. A pleasant smile breaks quietly over your lips. Just in time.

You turn your head to the side. The stranger, with chocolate-skin and inviting eyes, is waiting for an answer. You tap your fingers against the glass.

"Bourbon," you say. "²Pero no me vendría mal un trago más." he grins and holds up two fingers to the barman. He sits at the empty seat beside you, he’s exuberating confidence. He’s offered you the bait and you'd taken it.

"³Algo más que se te ofrezca?"

You look him in the eyes. You know how the story goes from there. It isn’t any different than the one from last night, or the night before. As an apex predator, he's out for something to satisfy his hunger. He won't go home without reaching his goal and you're desperate enough to let him.

"⁴Sí. Hay algo más que puedes hacer por mi."

(,,,)

The fucking cat on the window has been staring straight into your eyes for the last fifteen minutes. Matias, the guy you've met hours before, is too focused on you to notice the awkward presence of the animal, so you don't bother shooing it away. 

He's enjoying himself, pounding into you in a symphony of lust bites and moans. But the sound of skin on skin doesn't match the intensity of your passion for this encounter.

It's not that his performance was terrible, it was just... soft. So soft, too soft. From the sweet nothings, he gasps on your ear to the gentleness of his grip on your hip. 

You aren't a sweet girl. If you were sweet, you wouldn't have traveled all the way down to Colombia to participate in the war on drugs. If you were fond of delicateness, you would've stayed inside and touched yourself to a Cristina Peri Rossi novel instead of searching for strangers at bars.

You don't like to believe you are a special case. On the contrary, you assume your attitude is the rule and not the exception. Not a hell of a woman, but a woman made of hell – waking up already worried about the hours ahead of you. How could you not? Your life is as wide and empty as the sky. Unstable, unpredictable. Anything can happen. A good meaningless fuck is the only moment you allow yourself to feel something — someone. By then, the detachment that gets you through the day disappears and raw feral emotion takes its place. 

You are addicted. It's like a drug, but worse. Drugs don't have feelings, people do.

You’d grabbed Matias' hand and wrapped it around your neck a few times but your request had been ignored; you’d even pushed his ass against your body so you could get closer to a feral touch, but he had insisted on something more caring and delicate. 

And delicacy just won't do. 

So, after a few tries, you give up. You lay still, under his heating body, dead eyes directed at your window. No emotion whatsoever, no release. Like a numb, stiff sex doll, rooting for his satisfaction. Forgotten until next time.

“⁵Donde?” he blurts in your ear. You evaluate your options quickly. 

“⁶Adentro.” Any other place would demandsñ more attention. By then, he would be aware of your passivity and asking too many questions. You don't answer questions, you make them.

His body tenses and trembles. You feel heat dripping between your legs but it doesn't come from you. He leaves a few small pecks on your neck — thankfully, the last ones for the night. Matias breathes over you for a few seconds before he gets off. You stare at the roof in silence, and when he asks if you finished, you simply nod.

You can't grasp what he says under his breath after you ask him, as nice as possible, to leave. What he does or doesn't vocalize, it doesn't matter. You won't be repeating with him. You never fucked the same person twice. 

Once you hear the front door shut, still resting on your bare skin, you lit a cigarette. The room is void of artificial light, and the cat is still in the same place, with his silhouette contoured by the gleam of the moon.

"Sneaky bastard." you chuckle, then get up from the bed and slowly approach it.

You stop at the wooded frame of the window, maintaining your distance. Not too close to scare him or him to scare you. He isn't a friendly guy. He isn't even yours — just a grumpy cat that stops by your department too often demanding some food. You tried to get him to come inside before, but all you had won from your offers were a couple of scratches. Nonetheless, the cat has seen more of you than many people have. So, even though you renegade from him, you found yourself inevitably attached. He's the closest thing to a family, after Murphy, of course. But Murphy hasn't seen you on your worst, yet.

"Hope you see the same shit I see." you grimace and shake your head. "Not like that, I mean... I should choose better who to fuck with. And they should choose better too." the cat remains silent –obviously– and you keep talking. "You could make yourself useful and spook them away before I have to." he meows, you roll your eyes and decide to leave him alone. "Then again, I could do it myself if I told them I hold long conversations with the stray cat that lives in my window."

You choose to take a bath and call it a night. You glide through the living room, though before you can reach the bathroom something stops you. There's a noise outside, some glass breaking down on the streets. You can ignore it, conflict isn't a foreign subject in Colombia, especially at late hours. But then it repeats itself a second time, and the third bugs you too much for you not to grab your night robe and take a look at it from your window.

The only light pole is out of order; there's not a soul in sight; music can be heard from afar. You see nothing out of place until you do.

Your car is parked across the street. All four windows have been smashed, the tires are flat. You barely waste time cursing before you flee out of your place. You thought the night couldn’t get worse but the world has a disturbing obsession with testing your patience. 

Once you take a step outside and approach your damaged car, you’re not sure where your chills are coming from. Perhaps, because of the unfriendly weather or maybe because you’re suddenly aware of how idiotic was your decision to go outside. 

Everything inside your vehicle is left untouched. There weren't objects of value anyways. You find no logical reason for someone wanting to wreck a car just because —yours, of them all.

Big red warning signs color your mind. Your eyes scan your surroundings with speed. It's a dark, lonely dessert. You're now sure that what happened isn't some random event. The victim could've been to another person, but you weren't just another person.

"⁷Discúlpeme, señorita." a voice throws yourself far from the source. You reach for your gun just to find nothing there. Damn you. "⁸Está bien?" you look at the man. An old man that, at first glance, doesn't represent a threat. His voice is gentle, his voice is tinted with a caring voice. You lower your defenses, just a bit, not enough to stay around.

"⁹Sí." you mutter.

Slowly, you walk back to your apartment. Old man glues his eyes to your form and you don't take your own off from his'. Before reaching the sidewalk, you trip with something. Your back collides against a car and you're ready to apologize when the owner exits it there’s not a sign of rage in his face. On the contrary, his stare is blank and his mouth doesn’t even twitch.

Bad news.

You intend to run, but another guy blocks your passage and two more appear at each side of you. You turn over to ask the old man for help, but he’s gone along with your last piece of hope. Can’t blame him, you would’ve escaped too if you had the chance. However, you can’t and the smartest thing to do is acknowledge it and work from it. 

You stay still thinking it will persuade them to opt for gentle treatment. 

How naive of you. 

A set of fingers dig into your arms, another one grabs you by the neck and lowers your head as they drag you into their car. Guarded by two of them who sit at your sides, a dark cloth bag is placed over your head and your wrists are restricted with a zip tie. 

All you have left now is your hearing, you pick up a few things: the engine roaring, the tires burning on the asphalt as you speed off, some spanish words thrown in the air. Nothing substantial, nothing of use.

You sit in silence and wait for the worst.

[bookofmariokingofmaiami]

This is the second time making this post because i am angry as fuck because for some reason when I added the names it didn't save so I'm doing this shit again 

Hey! I had a stupendus idea, the past few days I've gathered a bunch of mitten squad quotes and captain sauce quotes

Soooo, I'll put wich book of mario characters would say each quote and we'll see what happens

Yes I know 99% of the mitten squad quotes is gonna be bolivia and carbon

Also, some quotes reference characters and locations, so I'll put an [ ] with what I think the book of mario counterpart would be

MITTEN SQUAD SEGMENT 

Lewis:"I have successfully turned an ordinary kitchen utensil into the most valuable fork in the known universe, no one man should have this kind of power, but I am not mortal man, as a sexualy identity as a big rock being thrown into the ocean"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1 TEC-20"The robot wasn't able to pick the lock and I lacked the fire power to blow the bitch open" 

Marc:"I left a broom there too so my bucket wouldn't be lonely"

Carbon:"Calm down vegetarians I am talking about animals in video games, animals in real life matter way less"

Barney one:"Killing it isn't the hard part, the hard part is getting away from the explosion of the goddamm Nagasaki bomb strapped up its ass that was rigged to explode once it died"

Bolivia:"Todd Howard [barbie], even in death you find a way to fuck me"

Bolivia:"We came back to the little shit with the ant problem and killed most of the ants, I left one alive for the boy, either he becomes a man or that ant will have a very good day" 

Goomb:"Me brain fixed gud no hurt no more"

Marc:"Picked up trash for the make a wish kid"

Bolivia, talking about maria:"Because she hits like a bull with down syndrome and has the personality of a piece of plywood"

Belize:"You might be wondering, who is the boy and who is the girl? I won't give it away but I will say this, the knife is a whore"

Maria:"I had armor, i had supplies, i had pockets full of room temperature tomatos"

Bolivia:"For some reason I thought that stupid the horse v2 could fly, bad decision on my part"

Carbon:"For some reason this shrapnel character had 200 BB's, what a weirdo, who caries around 200 BB's?, anyway, I talked to daddy and brought my 300 BB's and headed off to clear off the Jefferson memorial"

Goverman::"Get a juice box and strap on your helmet, because we're going to hell"

Carbon:"I punched a puppy to death"

Marc:"My iq is similar to that of a 14 year old block of cheese"

Lewis:"Theres an oxygen exhaust pipe, the second best tipe of pipe to suck on to keep yourself alive, for those who need hand holding, that was not a drug reference, this is a family friendly channel, it was a suicide joke"

Bolivia:"I got an amazing slow motion shot of dogmeat getting fucked to death by a nuclear warhead"

Maria:"My only option was to become a vampire, wich sucked"

Bolivia:"But just as when like how every virtual dog goes to hell when it dies, what the fuck does that even mean?"

Carbon:"I took advantage of a unconscious military officer and beat him to death"

Barney one:"Nothing else says more victory than overdosing on drugs after a war"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"And decided to go to the much bigger and much more research facility x-13 research facility facility center, WHAT? I think I had a stroke"

Bolivia:"Used more than 3% of my frag mines to blow up a dog"

Carbon:"The last few coursers ran for their non existence lives and I went after them because I'm not letting anyone get away, one got away"

Maria:"I got a warning saying that nuka world is intended for those level 30 or above, Mathematics show us that me being lv11 is close enough to lv30"

Carbon:"Killed a pain-maker and got a glimpse into the big G in the sky who manifested himself as a fire axe floating in the air, this voodoo shit has no place in zion so I chopped of the pain-maker's legs and arms so If there is an afterlife he will be a cripple in hell for all eternity"

Goverman:"Its head turned into jelly, I threw its egg down into the nightmare bellow, and then I jumped after it"

Carbon:"A herd of big hornets paid the ultimate price for being alive"

Goverman:"Used his gun to turn off a woman"

Maria:"Me being the player can't open the door, theres a know you have to twist it its a whole process"

Goverman explained why maria survived the fall:"One of them belonged to God and refused to die"

Goombell, talking about hoko saba:"The dragon I pretended to not exist a few minutes ago is one of my mom's friend's kids so I had to play with him even tho he's weird"

Belize:"There was no hamster's luck in a garbage disposal chance that I would follow this giant fuck all the way to the cit ruins"

Lewis:"Along the way i saved a shopping cart from drowning and returned it to its family"

Prof. Ceasar reality:"Its about 24 million cheez its away from New vegas"

Bolivia:"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to bedworld"

Carbon:"With enough notches in my pistol to spell psychopath in braille"

Gooverman:"I spie with my little eye a ville whore who deserves to die, I cleaved her back in half with my stick and what I saw was glorious"

Maria?:"Its kinda like playing the floor is lava, but you can't see the lava and instead of burning to death you turn into a vegetable"

IDK"I hid from Ringo by hiding in ringo"

Bolivia:"The plate worked as well I thought it would, wich means it didn't work"

Bolivia:"There was a 3 for 1 discount on dead raiders if you use the promo code granade at checkout"

Belize:"The only explanation is that has a 5th appendage wich he pulls out on special occasions, wich probably isn't the case, we all know elmo doesn't pull out"

Goomb:"You don't need those things, Jesus got trough his life without any guns"

Goombape:"When i played it as a children"

Barbie:"Its like how you don't know if your life has any meaning until you die and see your score"

Belize:"This was the most stealth oriented part of the game by a metric mile"

Bolivia:"I stripped him naked, talked with Elliot [lewis] whose face bothered me for some reason,Talked with the samurai[maria], talked with red dead redemption [barney one]"

Carbon:"Some idiot spilled red paint on the clouds"

Bolivia:"Before traveling with the wizard, I spent some time pestering earnie with the prospect of friendship, by walking back and forth in front of him, making him think i wanted to talk to him just for me to keep on walking,I was voted the quietest guy I high-school and I know how loud earnie is screaming inside his head right now, it's kinda fun to be in this side of it :) ,also this isn't related to the video in any way, I just wanted to make it known that i have a sealed copy of elmos letter adventure for Nintendo 64 and you don't"

Maria:"I knew I could use that as a lighthouse of sorts in order to cast myself further into the ocean until i drowned in my own disappointment"

Goombell:"Vulpes[carbon] was adopted, his mother is both infertile and imaginary"

Belize:"Being alone is mental, you can be surrounded by friends family laughs and love on Christmas morning and still be alone in your head"

Bolivia:"I acted in self defense by committing various war crimes"

Carbon:"My throwing spears were broken and wouldn't fly,stupid fucking game" 

Bolivia:"That wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the truth"

Maria:"If there's anything Shaun b knows to do is die"

Boombell:"The number of bear traps I activated for sexual reasons turned my angles into a fine powder"

Goverman:"Where the grass is green and the air is even greener"

IDK"I consulted a doctor who flucked out of medical school and followed his advice by killing myself"

Belize:"Being a futuristic[X-nauti], nazi dominated world version of polly poc,etc it has its own set of drawbacks"

Marc:"They're mass effect 3 of fallout 3's 5th dlc, I've never played mass effect"

Lewis:"Who loves their father like how their brother loves his mother's sister"

Carbon:"Like most existential crises it went away after I killed somebody"

Carbon:"If you're wraped in chains and dropped into an empty bathtub to drown, a snorklew won't save you"

Goombape:""A wise man once said "hi! Jeanie may's here"  and he's right, there has to be a better way""

Browser:"After it took 3 grown man to kidnap a baby with a gun"

goldbob:"The lever action gun riffle can kill a mutant in a single shot if you land a shot that can kill it in one hit"

Maria:"Its 2020, Noone wants to use their hands anymore"

Bolivia:"Before journeying into more death, some jackass hit me with a granade and killed me, not the explosion, the granade bouncing off my soon to be corpse is was what made me dead"

Belize:"Some Neanderthals gave me their bullets to hold in a pretty rude way >:("

Princess of peaches:"Im not worried about offending blind people, it's not like they'll be watching this"

Carbon:"30 seconds is longer than you'd think, ask anyone whose been on fire"

Lewis:"I was as useful as a comatose toddler with a nerf gun at pearl harbor"

Goomb:"I also poused the challenge to satisfy the curiosity of mine regarding the birds in the sky that Don real because birds aren't exist"

Marc:"Any doctor worth their weight in styrofoam cups can fix a leg with their feet"

Bolivia:"I had me a silenced weapon, but I didn't account for today being his birthday, this changes everything, so I shaped for hollow point"

Carbon:"Maybe if Steve earlin had a gun instead of a snorklew he'd still be alive today"

Marc:"It took me 30 minutes and 3 phone calls to get my food because I'm too much of a pussy to go outside at 10 o'clock at night while drunk in a Christmas sweater after news year to steal my own food of one my neighbors doorstep"

Maria:"We've got rogue, tank dampse, and squidword"

Lewis;"And they're no joke, but I am, I am the big joke and my body is the punchline"

Bolivia:"I got mentally Nagasaki'd by this guy at the stables"

IDK"And went outside where Victor is unhappy with me, after killing Victor, Victor came out of the lucky 38 to avenge victor" 

Bolivia:" i shot a kid, i sent that little bitch to the moon"

Sushiya,  testing her products:"The door was of its axis, a plate was misbehaving on the chair, a cattle was dancing on the table like the whore she is"

Carbon:"And went shopping for dead bodies, they weren't in stock,  but i know a guy who knows a guy who could help me out, both of those guys are me"

Bolivia:"Now vault yosh is I your head too, and he won't be going anywhere"

Maria's son:"As much of a monster that I look like, I think it's gonna work"

Sushiya:"But you know what they say, imagination is what happens when annoyance meets drug use"

Carbon:"If they're stupid enough to be in my way they might as well be my enemy"

Goverman:"But the slippery bastard was too clever, he walked around it, I didn't even know that such a maneuver was even possible"

IDK"Homeland security at this point has yet to be impregnated by a sentient barrel of oil"

Bolivia:" if I drunkenly put a giant hole on my sink with a goddam coffee cup imagine what I could do with a gun"

Belize:"Got ambushed in the freezer while searching for chicken nuggets"

Goverman:"But the fucken bullet Williams come flying out of fucking nowhere"

Maria:"The next second you're in a universe where everything that exists is the sick bastard child of a drunken fuckfest between a pin screen and a light brush"

Bolivia:"Ask the cashier if they have a granade, if they say no, say nothing for a few seconds, put a big smile, put your hands on theirs and quietly ask, would you like one?"

Sean hampton:"Can't do anything until I have my arms around a fat man"

Barbie:"The premise of this run is that I have no arms and I must dab"

Maria's son:"I told you before that I was a genetic disaster"

Bolivia:"And in that cabin, theres some west Virginian mountain folk who are so deep in incest that one of them somehow managed to be his own father"

Bolivia:"Can you hear that? It's…. It's an air conditioner! And it's so fucking anoying, aw no I hurt it's feelings :( "

Goverman:"He could probably put the end of his musket inside his mouth, pull the trigger and still miss"

Barney one:"The big beaver ended his life in stile, he even made a summersault into the afterlife"

Goverman:"Im a good Christian boy,  I'll save my ammo for my suicide"

Carbon:"I am not Cinderella, I'm a parasite"

IDK"I played with a doggy too, it used the flesh on my arm as a chew toy, and I booked his nose with a nuclear newspaper to show that that kind of thing isn't allowed in the mitten squad household"

Sean hampton:"The crusable is a magical weapon like divorce papers, capable of tearing everything it comes across in half"

Barbie:"The curse of grandma sparkle managed to reach me all the way in hell"

Barney one:"If you are gonna get a cat, you might get a gun aswell"

Belize:"Corn on the Joe sat back not helping his brother's"

Carbon:"I bought 24 regular bullets,28 hollow points, and 60 that need to wear a helmet"

Bolivia:"After the squad died I had to content with the leftovers, the scraps, statically speaking the majority of what remained"

Lewis:"What I need to face is like a toddler with a learning disability, that would be fair"

Carbon:"I took both left eyes of this dead guy "

Carbon:"It took longer to pull out the Esther than it took of kill the general"

Sushiya, while high:"Deeper inside shit got weird, i killed a giant skeleton right? Nothing weird about that, but then his body just kinda danced in place really slowly, I tought speeding up time would fix it, that was a massive fucking mistake, and changing time back to normal was an even bigger mistake, he'll be hunting me until I die, but until then he'll still be dancing"

CAPTAINSAUCE SEGMENT 

Carbon:"They're old, how hard can it be to turn them into blueberry jam and ram them into the grass"

Belize:"I guess if you do electrocute a tank enough it would just explode"

Boliviz:"Id have a better chance of finding a snowball down here than winning a coin toss"

Marc:"How does my Christmas lights break to a stiff breeze but these ones are practically terminators"

Barney one:"I never tought id see the day where I would have to hire a sniper to assassinate a troublesome light bulb but here we are "

Lewis:"I get the feeling if you try to milk a minotaur then you're gonna be its wife"

Sushiya:"In the history of mankind do you think we've ever seen a snake fight an octopus?"

Goverman:"Lets see if you can wobble your way trough the grim reaper" [the grim being carbon]

Goldbob:"Its a steaming pile of something ill tell you that much"

Goverman:"He died? How! Did he have an allergic reaction to the sun?"

Goomb:"Michelangelo is Swiss cheese and where good to go"

Bolivia:"It really looks like I'm taking a sharpened stick to a bazooka fight"

Maria:"HOW DID I GO FROM FIGHTING AN OCTOPUS IN A SUIT TO WW3???"

Princess of peaches, talking about 1TEC-20:"Im playing pictionary with a blind robot"

maria:"Theres on the nose dialogue and then there's punch you in the nose dialogue"

Bolivia,  talking about barney one:"This lady looks like her father was half refrigerator"

IDK"Im supposed to sabotage the mail missile assembly line but it looks like someone got here before me"

Belize?:"And the ghosts of previously murdered pianos???"

Maria:"Im getting outsmarted by puppets"

Bolivia:"After careful deliberation with my associate we've come to the conclusion that the local government must have Removed all quarters from circulation,  the laundromat went under and before you know it the entire society fell into nudism and then anarchy "

Carbon?:"This is like the hunger games of sesame street"

IDK"Im a weird shotgun santa"

Garlic?:"Oh damm! CTHULO IS THICC"

Krump:"What kind of interdimensional time traveling toilet is this?"

Carbon:"Wheater it be cultural appropriation or demonic abomination,  i don't realy care im just gonna try to hit it with a pee bucket" 

Carbon:"THIS IS THE MEDIEVAL RUSSIAN VERSION OF DRIVING INTO BATTLE WITH A TANK BUT SHOOT PEOPLE WITH A BB GUN"

Belize::"I DIDN'T KNOW GRANNY WAS TAKING GRAVEDIGGER TO CHURCH THIS MORNING" 

Goombell:"This isn't a bridge its just the worlds weakest motorcycle trebuchet "

Bolivia:"Oh hellow mr berry"

Carbon:"Giant alien space worm 2020, make America worm poop again"

Bolivia:"When did snuffy[barney one] decide to judas me and join the hobbits?[origamis]"

Lewis:"Theres a surprisingly high amount of chickens in this map and a dramatic lack of eggs"

Bolivia:"Im pretty sure we've sent the first claim to the moon"

Maria:"And yet I'm forced to defend myself from stuff like bloodthirsty scp's using nothing but uncooked t-bone stake, I mean technically its doable but it doesn't make It any less ridiculous"

Barbie:"What's the point of a metal detector if literally everyone here has somekind of cybernetic, like I swear to God If I walk trough here aND you guys start pounding the shit out of me just because I got a couple of extra inches of robo-dong IM GONNA BE PISSED"

Bolivia:"Everyone's wearing slick black suits meanwhile I look like somebody skinned a couch from the 70s"

Sushiya:"Is this bacon flavored weed or weed flavored bacon?"

Sean hampton:"Do you think that Darth Vader ever had to deal with a rebel or a henchmen who was into getting chocked? Like starts force checking them and they tell him to go harder?"

Koopley:"I was stabbed to death by a naked man with a spear and my arm is perpetually running"

Koop kotu:"So I'm crazy enough to be locked behind bars but not crazy enough to think I can fly*

Bolivia:"Usually spooders have 8 arms not 8 abs"

Carbon:"I just bludgeoned Jesus to death with a stick of meat, I'm guessing he's gonna be back in a couple of days he's gonna be looking for me so we'll start running now"

Carbon:"Im done with words, shooty goody time"

Maria?:"Id have a better time cutting down bushes then these strange little robo hobits"

Belize:"Dad this is not the time to be dancing with crabs!"

Maria:"Thats my little brother, who has a fully posable deny devito action figure,I've always been jealous of that one"

Bolivia:"The turns are tabbleling"

Maria, talking about barbie:"She's not exactly the brightest tool at the picnic"

Belize:"Are you kidding me mom? Realy?, you were the one that said you're sick of seeing donkey kongs donkey dong"

Maria:"I have no idea what was in that Wonster energy drink that made him go master roshe style"

Bolivia:"I want to file a complaint against Stacy [belize] for T-posing to assert Dominance over me"

Marc:"Believe it or not dangling a padlock the size of a shoebox from a doorknob does as much work as I want to"

Caesar reality:"You can never have too many rotten floor bananas"

Carbon:"Poisoning your boss is probably not the best way to skip work, but ya boy gotta do what he has to do"

Goverman:"I'll take nicknames of my penis for 300$ alex"

Starvinden?:"I guess we'll just leave you in your special sarcophagus mr tutan-deez-nuts"[browser]

Lewis:"I've been skipping work for 2 weeks now and I'm starting to think that my computer isn't even plugged in"

Bolivia, talking to maria:"Your suit smells like a wet fart and your mouth smells like a ashtray"

Bolivia:"If anyone needs me I'll be on the insane asylum,  why am I caressing a mannequin on top of a boat?"

Carbon:"Would you like to hang yourself or be crucified? Dealers choice!"

Bolivia talking about carbon:"He's doing something ingenious probably diabolical……..or he's dressed as a panda"

Marc:"We should really pay for security around here not only are people breaking in there is also a giant spine breaking chickens"

Maria to Bolivia:"You are very angry at that stake"

Sushiya, after using its products:"I wonder why was I twerking at the office statue"

IDK"WHY IS THERE A GIANT NAKED MAN IN THE LOCKER CHOCKING ME TO DEATH WITH A CHAIN??!!!"

goombell:"I guess we're gonna leave the cookie monster dildo in the locker"

Sean hampton, to Maria:"My love for you is like diarrhea, sometimes I just can't hold it in"

Bolivia:"You're watching me In a Google video platform playing a game from a Google gaming platform that was translated using Google translate, if this isn't a dystopian future I don't know what is"

Bolivia?:"I couldn't have predicted the run after her like a velociraptor made out of pool noodles"

Lewis:"Jumping Jack neighbor help me!"

Bolivia:"Bread! There's no bread,there's your bread! That's a cookie God dammit"

Belize:"So I can be invited to the worlds saddest birthday party"

Maria:"I guess we're playing ring around the Rosie till I lose his dumb ass"

Carbon:"If you see jehovah's witness you tell them to eat shit"

Bolivia:"HOW CAN YOU AFFORD A GUARD BIRD AND NOT A DOOR STOP?"

Bolivia::"For my shopping list I need to find a floppy disk with a s, but for the distraction I could use a floppy dick with sunglasses and a tie"

Carbon:"I really hoped that your little bird bath had a couple inches of water so I could steal a tiny toaster to throw it in with you"

Belize::"Its pretty safe to say Mr voice bad Benjamin good, but we just saw Benjamin talk with the grim reaper and pull around a cart wich is about the size of a child's body"

Goombell:"She may have a crush on the interdimensional death fox"

Maria:"Its like the herpes of craft supplies"

Barney one:"Everyone wants to split checks for keano Reaves, even if they're a 10ft dragon made out of logos and seizures what is going on right now?"

Sushiya, high, again:"When I dilapidated the banana and poked the mayo's brain then had an indept conversation with the strawberry cocoon did bread get arrested? I didn't see the police come by, that would make sense because the alcoholic cat ran away"

Carbon:"IF THEY HAVE AN ASS TO PULL PUNS OUT OF THEY HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN TO THINK THEM UP"

Goombell:"I think I graduated for the university of food torture"

Well, this is all, took some time but it's here, hope you enjoyed

Frequent reblogers

<《{[(@boom-fanfic-a-latta )]}》>

<《{[( @gumdorp )]}》>

PLEASE REBLOG!

[yandere-flower]

Sometimes, Desmond gets sick of his job.

There's no part of being a homicide detective that doesn't require exhausting amounts of work: informing loved ones of deaths, following leads, paperwork, testifying in court. And while it's fulfilling when a murderer is rightfully put behind bars, Desmond typically has more bad days than good.

So with hopes low for today, he heads to the interrogation room, flipping through the case file while sipping his morning coffee.

The new case wasn't special - gang activity, turf war, collateral damage - he's only been given the case because a series of cold cases he had been working had the same M.O. Grusome crime scene, dead kid between 12-14, signs of abuse on the body, etc. Twisted stuff.

This new case, however, had something brand new.

It had a witness.

Desmond enters the interrogation room without looking up, reading the file of his witness.

Young twenty something with a lot to prove, got sucked into gang life, was knocked out and bleeding at the scene, and claims they know who did it. Had an empty gun holster (either trashed or stolen, depending on her honesty) and...

"Ahem."

Desmond glances up... then snaps his head to attention.

And she's fucking hot.

His little witness isn't so little, sitting taller in the chair than Des, and even seems to be slouching slightly. She has a ridged Roman nose and a strong, square jawline. Her dark hair is up in a messy bun, with wavy strands falling into her face. Along with a black eye and blood coming from her nose staining olive skin, she looked like a Greek goddess of war.

He couldn't help wandering his eyes down the rest of her body that he could see above the table, lingering briefly on her clothed, pert chest - she was wearing a shirt with the police dept. logo, likely since her original shirt was ruined from blood.

Des suddenly wishes he saw her at the scene, to be the one to rip a torn, bloody shirt from her body and touch her chest. The cold interrogation room was making her nipples stiffen under the fabric... and Des needed to refocus and steady his breath.

"Case file says you were at the scene, wearing the local street gangs colors. Why should I believe you didn't kill the victim?"

The woman grimaces, then shrugs. "Guess it looks sketchy, but it wasn't me. Watched one a' the higher ups beatin' the shit outta the kid an' tried to stop 'im. He didn't, and didn't appreciate me getting in the way either."

"The higher up got a name?" Des kept his face neutral, but inside his heart beat wildly at the woman's rich voice.

"Sammy. Samuel Reed."

"Why did he kill the kid?"

"The kid was a new recruit. He got cold feet, and Sammy don't like that. He kills runners."

Des blinked. "The file says the victim was twelve. New recruits are TWELVE?"

The woman shrugged, "I got recruited at ten. Just how it works on the streets. Gang becomes your family, but you're not allowed out."

The world spun. Desmond looked at the woman's face, reassessing her after her truth bomb.

She looked tired, apathetic to the bloody nose and moving her arm - which he just noticed was in a sling - as if it wasn't clearly broken. Her attitude giving Des strong vibes of domestic abuse, and hazarded a guess:

"The gang was better than your dad, though, right?"

She flinched, then slowly nodded, "Gang made sure I wouldn't havta go back there... since you can't go back to ash. Earned my loyalty for a long time."

Des leaned forward. He caught a whiff of her sweat and musk, and it made him dizzy. He can only imagine licking it off her skin before lifting her leg and...

"What changed your mind? You're talking with the police right now. If you were quiet, you could've easily been written off as a victim too if you wanted."

The witness bared her teeth, as if snarling, "Sammy an' the rest are fuckin' bastards that kill and rape lil kids. I'da sold them out years ago if they didn't hide it from me. To me, the gang was about loyalty, and family. Family doesn't rape each other. Family don't hurt kids."

Des nodded, then prompted, "so can you give a physical description, possible locations of the gang, some other members?"

She nodded. "Gimme a pen an' I'll write them all down. But Sammy will be easy to spot."

"Why's that?"

The witness gave him a feral grin.

"I chopped his fucking hand off."

Desmond could feel himself go rock hard in his pants and lose all the blood in his head.

He wondered if he could get her assigned to his house under witness protection.

He wondered how much blood he'll lose keeping her there.

This is really good, thank you for the read!!

[crazyyfilmyfreak]

The Devil All the Time ( 2020 )

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS FREE REVIEW

"There's a lot of no-good sons of bitches out there"

Okay alright first of all 

This is not your generic go-to netflix crime thriller if you are watching it with that intention everything is wrong with you 

This Film is dark , not just dark but dark as hell which is filled with gore elements which also includes a multi layered story telling and the film is filled with a group of astonishing cast members and every one of them has a potential to carry the whole film on their shoulders with no hard work but just with grace and ease so these reasons altogether might have over hyped few people's expectations and i think that is the main reason why i am seeing some mixed reviews here and there online or maybe just because you started watching this film with a very wrong intent or wrong mind set like i said before and i am stressing this so much because of in my opinion this film is just perfect maybe there are flaws obviously every film will have flaws but i just couldn't see them ? Maybe because i am a big fan of tom holland i might be little biased but to me this film is top notch and this is a perfect film film 

Now speaking about the cast & film overall 

This is a very slow paced slow burning piece of art 

It takes you to the places you can never think of mentally and it makes you feel completely lost in emotions by the end of the film making you numb 

Antonio Campos is a fucking genius i love his way of story telling 

He's honest , he knows what he is doing , he loves taking risks and he never fears when ever he goes out of the conventional film making style and i very much love how he connected every character in the film like i mean every character in the film is interconnected and if you remove any one character you will feel the void , disturbance and unbalance in the film. 

Film lovers might argue with me or hate me for saying this but i feel this film is so much better than christine 👀🤝🏻 atleast to me ? And this is coming from a person who also loved it a lot 

Now the cast 

I cant speak about everyone in the film because this has such a long list of talented actors 😭 who rocked in the film i am only going to speak abt some of my favourite performances as of now i promise to speak about every other cast member and their performance in the later days coz i am very sure this is a film i am going to talk a lot from now and this is also a film that i am going to watch and enjoy in the future days 

First TOM FUCKING HOLLAND 

I have been seeing this dude's films even before the civil war where he played the spidey role and i always felt he was a very raw and potential actor since his childhood but after seeing him in civil war and spider man hoco its just impossible for me to not like him as an actor ? HE IS SO GOOD ON SCREEN and he makes you believe everything when ever he's on screen maybe its swinging from wall to wall or putting a donut or whatever into a guys mouth while kicking his ass and making it look bad ass af🔥 few might feel this are such a silly examples to say but to me this is about how tom brings a realistic approach to a scene and makes it good and i have always been a big fan of tom holland since spiderman hoco and this is nothing related to tdat but y'all might already know timothee was the second closest option of mcu to cast as spidey and tom grabbed that role ever since tom is just busy with mcu films and where as timothee had a incredible and unbelievable growth as an ACTOR for real to me that is stunning because he did it in such short of span and to me as fan of tom holland part of me was always loving him as spidey but a big heart of me felt a void and sad because tom is missing a lot of great opportunities which has a chance to showcase his real acting abilities which made me think what if timothee got the spidey role instead of tom? Maybe we would have seen a serious tom holland as an actor and this thought killed me everytime but everything happens for a reason and tom holland is undoubtedly the best spidey we have ever got and anyways when films like tdat happen many people realise and understand how great and how fucking incredible tom holland is as an actor and i love when everyone appreciate him for this !! It makes my heart very happy and this is the exact reason why this film is so personal and special to me 

Sorry for completely deviating from the film but this is tumblr and i am not a serious film critic lol so forgive me. 

And speaking about his performance in the film he is just surreal and outstanding . The character that he played is a very complicated one not many relate to that character but every one can understand his emotions, actions and intentions in the film and all the credit goes to tom for bringing a life to that character and playing it in such a beautiful way listen to me very carefully when i am saying this not many actors from this generation can bring bundle of emotions at the same time in a same scene but tom holland does that with such an ease and i stg i am not exaggerating if you watch the film you will know what i mean !! And i am very proud to say i am his big fan 

Now Robbert pattinson 

What the fuck should i talk about this asshole 😂🖕? 

My dude's been killing it since remember me and as an actor like i said in the Tenet Review he has matured a lot as an actor since good time and he played a very powerful and sick role in the film i am not gonna spoil it for others just go and watch the fucking film atleast for him he did a great job and i dont understand how the women and gays are dealing with him? Seriously even as a straight guy its hard for me to concentrate on the film or scenes where ever he's present because this asshole is so fucking hot and sexy 👉👈 The directors should either deglamorise him by making him fat or bald or just hide his face with prosthetic make up or sth just like how directors hide tom hardy's face in every film he's in 🙄. Now coming back to his performance its really hard to dominate him when ever he's on screen dude just want all the attention towards him , such a selfish actor huh 

Bill Skarsgard 

He played a very important and crucial role in the film he maynot have big screen time but we can totally feel his presence through out the film i think this one sentence explains how important his character is to the film and how well he potrayed the role and he's the only guy in the film who got an incredible character growth throughout his journey in the film

Harry Melling 

It would be very unfair if i dont speak about harry's performance in tdat 

DUDE KILLED IT . HE SCARED ME WITH HIS EMOTIONS AND EXPRESSIONS . He didn't even a play a negative role but he just added a lot of depth not only to his character but also the film with his intimidating portrayal 

Sebastian stan 

This is the most honest and a very raw performance from Sebastian stan so far ( i am saying this based on the films that i have seen of his ) i just wish he had more screen time thats the only thing that i didnt like in the film also there are so many blanks that needs to be filled about his character 

Eliza Scanlen

I dont remember her from any film or tv series that i have seen before but she's outstanding in the film , the character doesnt have much something new to offer so i can't speak a lot for her but as far as the character concerned she did her best and her performance is a impressive one and many people are gonna love her . 

Riley Keough 

Unlike the previous films & tv series she's been in 

This film gave her a very challenging role and she's the only women in the film who's been through ups and downs and has a very complicated but a impressive character growth with minimal limitations and dimensions 

She was fabulous and incredible . It just stuns me how the character has begin and how it ended at the end 

And special mention to jason clarke and the old couple who played grandparents ( kind of ) to Arvin Russel and lenora . Not all heroes wear the cape. 

Finally despite the mention of god several times in the film this is not really about god at all its about the DEVIL , The DEMON that carries and plays a very pivotal role in the film you cannot see it but you can sense it and feel it 

Its about the blind faith, its about the irreversible & inescapable fate . I really love how Antonio Campos has connected all the dots by the end of the film with a very impressive film making and with a steady gothic theme running till the end internally and i haven't completely finished the book ( The devil all the time ) but if anyone really wants to completely bring the book life they cannot do it in a single film it will take you atleast 4 or 5 tv series to do so but Antonio Campos did it with a single film and added a very deep meaning to the core of the film w/o deviating from the roots of the book & even touched the aspects like duality of a man and some of you grateful fucks are complaining about him 

OBVIOUSLY films ard subjective but you all need to be more open about this film 

In simple words please fucking watch this film guys 🤗❤ 

This one is not for everyone but everyone will have atleast a small aspect in the film that y'all are going to like / love / hate / discuss about. 

The devil all the time is violent , brutal , honest and perfect in every possible way atleast to me and i really want you all to watch it if you're into such type of stuff 

Remember No country for old men ? Now make it 10 times more violent but add some meaning to it with a realistic approach but more slow burning drama and a little bit of darkness ... now that is what The Devil all the time is .

Gif credits : Milesgmorales