#like full on listened to the album once when it came out and proceeded to destroy my cd

[daeluin]

the greatest accomplishment of so much (for) stardust is that it made me listen to folie a deux in its entirety for the first time in more than a decade

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/24/2023

new england winter: very cute and picturesque until you actually have to live here

listening

psycada by abstract, the opening track off the album hiking lung. a brief instrumental that sounds like a hazy-cicada-shimmer summer. it is a blisteringly hot day where you don't really have to do anything but even though you're out on the porch swing under the deck with a freezy pop it's not doing much. the vocals remind me very much of The Dandy Warhols once the rest of the album slides into more of a garage/psych rock vibe. a sort of understated fuzzy im-lying-down-right-now quality. i think these vocals would be background instead of lead in a more energetic track.

the album has several good tracks for the "datacore" playlist, which is full of mellow medium-paced instrumentals bc if i am alone with my thoughts while i clean addresses i will die

-

reading

i have Bullet Train on hold at the library but tbqh this section is probably going to be me gloating over various crypto crashes for the forseeable future. Molly White of web3isgoinggreat.com reports on the Three Arrows Capital guys setting up a new venture to (checks notes):

Not only that [both partners currently on the run from their creditors], but the exchange plans to focus on claims trading — that is, the trading of claims held by creditors against debtors who are undergoing bankruptcy proceedings, like FTX, Celsius, BlockFi, or Mt. Gox (throwback!). The fact that 3AC was a major catalyst in kicking off the string of bankruptcies we saw throughout 2022 was not lost on observers, with Nic Carter of the Castle Island venture capital firm commenting that the endeavor "is akin to arsonists returning to the scene of the crime and offering to charge their victims for buckets of water".

mwah. very much glass houses since castle island is also on the verge of going under due to its almost total focus on blockchain infrastructure but GOD. what a sentence.

unpaywalled bloomberg article on the wayback machine here.

this is some of the dumbest fucking bullshit ive ever read and im so fucking happy i no longer have to care about this at a professional level.

-

watching

Bullet Train (2022, dir. Leitch) asks "what if you put a whole bunch of assassins all on the same high-speed train?"

this is the glass onion of action movies. now i do like a perfect little puzzlebox of a movie made by people who really love movies, but this flavor of film is so fuckin smug about itself. this movie wants you to know it took AP Lit. this movie is a long variation of the whedon effect/"well THAT happened!” effect, where characters react to payoffs with the barest and briefest of setups an hour before in the movie. 

the thing that made me have a good time is this movie was directed by the guy who directed Atomic Blonde, one of my top ten movies and one of the best action movies of the last decade. LOVE an ensemble of goons all introduced with their own setup/backstory scenes. this film is seventy percent tightly choreographed fights with improvised weapons in tight spaces.

i am a simple woman. i like a bloody, disheveled man.

-

playing

alternating very fun and very unpleasant times with my big strong boy in wolfenstein: the new order. now, i am a little bit like "wow, you find the nazi prison camp level unpleasant? how shocking!" at myself. i was not really paying attention to the global rise of fascism in 2014 when this game came out bc i was busy dropping out of college and having a mental breakdown, but the nazis in shooters i have played or watched since 2014, especially call of duty: wwii, seem defanged compared to wolfenstein.

i will probably have more and more coherent things to say once i play more of this game, bc i am just about to bust out of prison at about ~9.5 hours of playtime. apparently this is the halfway point? after the first enigma code i looked up what the other ones do, decided i don't care about other game modes, and have not been trying especially hard to be a completionist about each level/unlock all the perks by doing different kills. i am talking to everyone and looking at everything and reading all the posters, and it is interesting how such a fast-paced shooter is adapting so well to me walking around and taking my sweet fucking time at whatever difficulty level is one below the recommended difficulty level.

a note on the plot-bearing moldy concrete. like yeah mold will grow on most things, including concrete, and yeah i guess the moldy concrete will kill you slower than the nazis will, but even though i love how lived in and cozy the kreisau circle hideout feels, it gives me the heebie jeebies. mold is quite bad for you. please prioritize another railing over another couch. also what the fuck math is tekla doing here??? i could not get a clearer shot even on max settings sorry

GOD i loved the london nautilus moon exhibit. yes i WOULD like to dual wield shotguns shooting nazis while running up and around a giant moon model. level perfectly tailored for me. HOWEVER! i would rather be shot in the head quickly and cleanly instead of trying to maneuver an EXPERIMENTAL HELICOPTER through a bunch of tunnels in creepy and wet conditions. being shot in the head would, again, be a much much cleaner and quicker death than any potential helicopter crash over the water. i hate planes to begin with but holy fuck helicopters no FUCKING thanks (ign screenshot)

for such a power fantasy of a game there sure are a hell of a lot of stealth sections. no stealth game is ever going to hold up to dishonored but boy did i really want these sections to feel more like dishonored.

-

making

fussing around with a f/allout: new vegas courier six/veronica/christine riff on classic noir film The Big Sleep for femslash feb. it's fun to write six even bitchier than usual

“Did you want to be the detective or the lady?” Six asked.

“Both of them were pretty cold fish.” It was very stupid to wait when she could have this immediately. Veronica flipped the covers back on her way over. 

“Harsh words to throw at a woman, especially when she’s already in your bedroom.” Christine clutched at Six’s silk pajama lapels as she was tipped back up. Six’s other hand dropped to play with her dressing gown tie. 

“Now, baby, a fish is–” They were never ever going to let Six live that one down. 

“You know,” Six said with as much dignity as anyone groping her wife’s ass could have, “being shot in the head — twice! took all the memories of fish from my previous aquatic life as a Shi Town mermaid.”

[numetaljackdog]

what i'm listening to 3/5/2023 (song notes under cut)

spot. link//yt link

Laura Les - Haunted: haunted. by laura les.

Foo Fighters - Everlong: links to this post. this is one of the greatest songs in the history of popular music, i believe that genuinely. this song is reaching out and grabbing a loved one and pulling them close and saying "i know it all hurts a lot and this life is cruel to us and it will keep being cruel to us but i'm here with you. i'm here with you and we can live in this moment for as long as possible and it makes it all feel worth it. i would go through every minute of hurt, past and future, another thousand times over if it meant i got to share this moment here with you for just a little longer." anyway i'm normal

100 gecs - Hollywood Baby: did you guys see that laura is wearing a limp bizkit shirt in the music video. crazy stuff. i'm holding off on posting my march album ranking just so the new album can come out and i can put it on there i love this shit

Little Richard - Long Tall Sally (The Thing): if it strikes you, i would really recommend checking out the video for this one that i've put in the youtube version, it's a live performance from 1955 and he's just absolutely electric, it's tons of fun

Paramore - Running Out Of Time: the new album is really good and i'm shocked they were able to bear holding onto this single until the full record came out because this one is golden. hayley williams late queen 2023

Crush 40 - I Am... All Of Me: I LOVE YOU SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!!!!!!!!!!

Butthole Surfers - Pepper: this song is basically if "loser" by beck was evil and fucked up, although these guys were doing weird shit way before beck. i was going back and watching some old one hit wonderland episodes and the one about this band came on and i was very intrigued, i'd like to hear some more of their stuff. i've noticed something about myself, which is that a todd in the shadows video is perhaps the single quickest way to trick me into engaging level 11 autism mode about any given band/artist/genre/whatever. guess i'm just lucky like that

Robert Johnson - Love In Vain: king of the delta blues babey. the melody and playing technique on this is nuts with a capital nuts. no wonder he was one of the many blues pioneers that the british invasion bands knocked off stole from admired greatly. i don't really have that much to say about these old blues tunes it's just Good Music

Twisted Sister - I Wanna Rock: twisted sister is so fucking goofy and awesome i love it. shoutout dee snider for being one of the coolest motherfuckers of the entire 80s. i listened to this whole album because as i mentioned i've been fucking w the hair metal and it's honestly a really solid record, surprisingly legit in a lot of respects. this is one of the silly pop singles, of course, but damn is it charming and just fun

Green Day - Longview: literally just a song about jerking off bc you're bored. heard it on the radio and said "oh i haven't thought about this song in years" and it proceeded to be stuck in my head for weeks. i grew up on green day so i definitely feel soft for them anyway but man why this song lmao

Paramore - Crave: one of my favorite album tracks. the mix is a little rough here (arguably that's true for a good portion of the record) but the lyrics really hit me big time. like yeah! i AM constantly pining for what once was! even when it was shit! what the hell! so real basically

Parkway Drive - Boneyards: every once in a while i have a moment that's like ohhh yeah... THAT'S why i loved metalcore so much for so many years. and this song gives me one of those moments every time i hear it because that breakdown is IN. SANE. greatest of all time possibly. in fact this whole album is such a landmark for this era of core it's crazy. shoutout parkway drive i hope they make good music again someday

Elliott Smith - Figure 8: first time hearing this song i just about fell out of my chair. the performing talent to take an innocent little educational song for kids and make it just absolutely and totally different in its meaning without changing a single word is staggering. i've always been fascinated by the idea of taking a song meant for kids (or just any song that has that sort of shallow quality to it, which kids' music often possesses in order to make it easy for them to enjoy) and recontextualizing it to actually have countless hidden layers of depth, and elliott smith did that flawlessly. fucking wild. i know some of his music but i need to listen to more

Weird Al Yankovic - Hardware Store: this is just one of those songs that crops up every once in a while to say "hey, remember me?" that video going around with all the cats definitely helped too lol. weird al was probably the first musical artist i could have ever been described as a "fan" of, and i'm continuously surprised by how much of his work holds up and remains just really good and honestly funny. goat

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Simple Man: good song but i'll be honest i mostly included just because i thought this story was kind of funny: i discovered this song by hearing the shinedown cover of it and, without knowing beforehand that it was a cover, immediately having the thought "this is a really great tune..... too great even. let's see who actually sang this originally." no real hate to shinedown they had some decent stuff but this would have definitely been above their level at any point in their career

The Beatles - Maxwell's Silver Hammer: whatever. fuck you. it's catchy and silly

Bill Withers - Lovely Day: i love bill withers but i'll warn anyone who intends to listen - this song is really quite annoying and repetitive. however it also has one of the most loaded hooks i've ever heard, the type that really just drills down deep into your brain. other than that it's just good vibes

Carpenters - All You Get From Love Is A Love Song: i've decided that i love this album actually and also karen carpenter's voice. this song in particular is just a nice little pop song but they really bring everything they've got to it, it's wonderful

Jamiroquai - Virtual Insanity: brought on mostly by paper-mario-wiki posting the video on here. you guys know me, i can't resist weird lyrics about the dangers of a digital future over a funky beat

[lilyellowsongbird]

Janis Joplin - The Blueprint

Back in middle school, in my search for my music, I found Janis Joplin. Once I listened to Piece of My Heart, I started on my path to being the weird hippie I am today. I heard the boisterous, raunchy guitar and Janis' signature voice and I was enraptured. That song was the first bread crumb that led me to the wonderful world of classic rock. As I've grown into the woman I am today, I see parts of myself that I unintentionally molded after Janis. She was quite literally the blueprint for me. Ratty hair, loud voice, social outcast, a woman who just wants to live her life and make her art. My mother always says she doesn't know where I came from, this Penny-Lane-esque wild child where her sweet spot in the middle used to be. I know where I came from: that moment when I heard Janis Joplin giving her heart and soul to her lover.

Joplin's second album with Big Brother and The Holding company has always been present in my life since. Of course, all of her discography has a special place in my heart, but Cheap Thrills has a particular place right at the front. Janis' rough, rowdy voice is electric, filling any room when her music is played. No one sings like her; trust me, I've looked. I've seen people compared to her, but none of them come close. None of them have that scratch, that pure honesty that she has in her voice. They're loud, but they're too perfect.

When Janis wrote, she wrote with an understanding of the world. As a blues based performer, her music mostly revolves around lost love and sorrow, but there is hope within her songs. Just as much as the world is dark and full of terrible woes, there is life and love and joy and hope. There is so much in this world and Janis captured that with her lyrics and her voice.

I once saw a comment on a youtube video bashing Janis. They said she just screeched and that she stole her music from blues artists. That is just entirely false. Janis openly spoke about her influences and inspirations. She credited Bessie Smith as her main inspiration. Everything she had she got from Bessie, and she expressed her gratitude frequently. Unlike some rockers we know (coughcoughjimmypagecoughcough) Janis acknowledged her roots. And as to the screeching allegation, all I can say is no matter how perfect your voice is, if you don't have passion, your voice is useless. I would rather listen to an imperfect voice sing with conviction than a flawless voice sing with nothing behind it but the pride of hitting notes. Janis could hit the notes, but she sang with her heart, and that is what mattered most.

My mother always wanted me to meet her cousin Whit. He was a hippie back in the 60s. All of the stories she told me, I wanted to meet him so badly. A few years ago, I walked into the kitchen one Saturday morning and my mom sat me down. "Cousin Whit died this morning. Your grandpa just called and told me." My heart cracked, but I felt guilty about grieving him. I had never met him, I had no real attachment to him, and yet it hurt so much. I decided to take my shower and move forward. I had no choice. While I was in the shower, I got a text from my mom. Turns out my grandpa misheard. It was his cousin Whitfield, a distant relative, not our cousin Whit. He was still alive and healthy, playing the guitar at a farmer's market.

My mom went to visit him this past summer with my grandpa. She talked all about me and my strange hippie habits. She mentioned my love of Janis Joplin and Joni Mitchell. "Joni Mitchell" he said, leaning back in his chair with a smile and a sigh of memory. He proceeded to tell my mom about the time he hitchhiked to Birmingham Alabama, my home town, to see Janis perform at one of our universities. After her recounting of their lunch, I knew I had to meet him as soon as I could. I hoped to go at Thanksgiving or New Years, to drive all the way to Chapel Hill just for a few hours with him.

In early October, I got a worrying text from my mom as I left my night class. I called her as soon as I got home, thinking my great grandma or my grandpa had died. No, it was Whit, the one person I didn't want to die. I hadn't met him yet. I was so close, and suddenly he was gone. All of those stories, all of those beautiful memories of my favorite artists at their peak, gone in a moment. I went over to my friend Emma's dorm and just sat on her floor, on the verge of tears, telling her all about Whit and my great grandma's house and how much it hurt that I couldn't meet him. In his obituary, they mentioned his love of Bob Dylan, another important artist in my life. Suddenly, it hurt even more that I couldn't talk to him, even for five minutes.

I hope to meet his sister one day soon, maybe during spring break. Maybe she'll have even a fraction of his stories. Still, it hurts that I'll never meet him.

When I think about it, this pain is all because of Janis. She stuck with me throughout my life, bringing me joy and validating my sorrows. She's the reason I found the music I love. She's the reason I wanted to meet Whit. She always knows exactly what to say when I need it. Kozmic Blues is my favorite of song of hers. In it she sings "You're gonna live your life/and you're gonna love your life/Oh, babe, someday you're gonna have to cry". Regardless of one missed opportunity, you have to live your life. We can't expect to go through life without pain; it's a side effect of being human. But we can make the most of what we've got. Janis understood that, and I think I've just started to understand it.

[viaviainternet]

do you have any random truly devious hcs? i'm so desperate for content literally where is book 5 <///3

of course! i agree, im definitely being as patient as i can with the book too, but i’m glad maureen has posted updates, and it’s good to know it might come out soon! but i’d love to give you some of my headcanons!

i don’t think there will be any spoilers necessarily, but some of these will be talking about things that happen later in the books :)

every minerva student is god awful at bowling. they all went out bowling, and they all got gutter-balls almost every time.

if ellie was actually going to sit down and learn the saxophone, she’d only learn careless whisper by george michael and play it anytime david and stevie are hanging out (@minervahouse and i have had this exact conversation talking about this 😭)

stevie is banned from playing clue with everyone. the minerva group played it once and of course stevie kicked all their asses, so now she’s only able to be an observer so everyone else can have a chance at winning. (i plan on writing a post about this because i found this so funny)

david and ellie occasionally play the game smash or pass about the teachers, and they were both completely shocked by each other’s answers.

david managed to find stevie’s spotify account, and looked through it to find the type of music she likes. he then proceeded to listen to almost every single album she listens to.

before david left ellingham, stevie stole one of his old sweatshirts and kept it for herself. david hadn’t even noticed until one time they facetimed each other, and stevie was wearing it.

nate has a crush on mudge (and vise versa), and janelle always teases him for it because along with stevie, he has serious blushing problems when it comes to mudge.

ellie is definitely collects crystals, and uses tarot cards. every once in a while, she gives everyone tarot card readings.

everyone just continually makes fun of hayes. and yes, he does deserve it.

the candle ellie knocked over was a michael cera jesus candle. (you’ve definitely read my old posts here if you understand this..😭)

if david had a tik tok account, it would seem like just a fanpage for stevie.

david teases stevie for only reading murder mystery novels, and she claims she doesn’t. so he asks for proof, and she goes into her closet and grabs out percy jackson books, and david sits there, thoroughly impressed.

they are all swifties. with the exception of hayes of course. and at every party, ellie steals the aux and strictly plays taylor swift and lorde. hayes claims he’ll go deaf, and ellie insults him, and tells him to suck it up.

stevie is a huge taylor and phoebe stan, so after nothing new came out, it did not help her mental health AT ALL.

after the sherlock-hercule costume incident, david and stevie have just committed to doing couples costumes on halloween. and their favorite costume they’ve done together is peter parker and gwen stacy. stevie actually enjoys dressing up with david because she knows she’s not being a full and complete idiot because she’s doing it with him.

so those are all of mine i can think of right now! if i think of any more i can make another post going along this one as well, and i hope you enjoyed!

[bts-teaspoonff]

Fangirl pt. 1

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Idol A/U

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader

Rating: PG

Summary: Y/N, being a huge fangirl, finally got her chance to work alongside her favorite idol group as a backup dancer. She gets to know each member personally and realizes that her feelings may be more than fangirl-idol attraction.

Word Count: 3K

PARTS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | .... masterlist

“It’s finally here!” I shouted as I bolted from my room towards the front door to greet the delivery man carrying my package. Even without looking at the mirror, I could feel my smile going up to my ears and my heartbeat furiously echoing through my chest. The delivery man handed me a medium sized box and stared at me as I reach out for the box with a huge smile plastered on my face. I signed the delivery form, closed the door and ran back inside my unit.

I ran to the living room and placed the box on the floor. I turned to my left and hurriedly rummaged for my cutter inside the drawer beside the sofa. I also took my phone on top of the said drawer and placed it on my lap. I swiftly sat down on the floor in front of my package with the cutter ready in my hand when I remembered something. I unlocked my phone and proceeded to video call my brother who’s at work. My brother’s name and his photo appeared on the screen as I wait for him to answer the call.

“Hey Y/N…” His face popped up on my screen. I silently giggled at the angle of his front camera when he answered the call. Not really flattering despite him being good looking. He must have placed the phone on a table directly below his face. “You know I’m at work right? Why did you call? Emergency?” I could hear keyboard sounds in the background. He must be busy typing on the computer as he didn’t bat an eye on his phone while talking to me.

“Yeah I know. I just wanted to share some good news” My camera is facing towards me with just my eyes peeking through screen. I was worried that maybe he’s with some people at work that might see me when he answers the video call and I’m not decent looking right now. “My package has arrived!” I low-key squealed as I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button on the screen and directed the camera at the package. I could see my brother looking now at the phone. He placed his phone in front of him and leaned it on a stable surface for him to see me properly. He continued to type slowly on his keyboard as he steal glances on his phone screen.

“Don’t tell me…. You bought another merch?” He giggled as he looked at his phone screen and continued to type on his keyboard. He looked back at his computer screen after a second, with a smile on his face. I opened the package with my cutter on one hand and my phone on the other. Tearing through the tape, I can’t contain my excitement as i shrieked when my cutter got through the end of the tape. I released the cutter from my hand and pushed it aside.

“BTS Merch! Oh my god, I have been waiting for these for weeks. I got the latest album, more Tiny Tan figurines, and some concert goods from last tour.” I proceeded to open the box and showed my brother the contents. I felt accomplishment as I look at all the merchandise that has just arrived at home. My ARMY heart couldn’t contain the joy that I have right now. I shot my eyes back on the phone screen and saw my brother smiling as he looked at me through the phone screen.

“Hey, I’m happy you are happy but you know I work in Big Hit right? I work for them?” He stopped typing, took the phone back in his hands and brought the phone close to his face. “I could just easily buy these things for you with my employee discount.” And now his whole face is occupying my phone screen. 

“Jiyong, I know but where’s the fun in that? I want to buy these items using my own money. Well, an employee discount is nice but I don’t want to abuse your privilege as I buy too much of their merchandise.” I snorted at the fact that I really do buy too much of their merchandise. Besides, when I use his employee discount, the items are delivered directly to him as he works inside the Big Hit Building. With the amount of merchandise that I buy, I don’t want to embarrass him and label him as a big fanboy especially with him working so close to the boys.

“If you weren’t my twin sister, I would totally laugh at you. Not that I think you’re crazy but you’re…. loyal” He puts emphasis on the last word. He respects my deep profound respect for the 7 boys but he thinks that maybe I have gone too far with the purchases. He placed his phone back in front of him, leaning on a surface. “Oh before I forget, did you read my email?” I was taken aback with topic change but I’m used to it as he does this all the time. I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button once again for him to see my face. 

“No, I haven’t opened my email yet. I went home so late last night. My last client in the gym arrived late so we finished late as well. A bummer.” I scoffed as I remembered the fatigue that enveloped my body yesterday. I work as a gym trainer/physical therapist full time and a dance teacher/choreographer as my sideline. I work at my friend’s gym located in the heart of Seoul as a gym trainer. I currently handle 7 clients, some who I have worked with for a few years already. I also teach dance classes at a small dance studio just a few blocks from where I live. Mainly, I handle BTS dance classes because duh, I am a full-blooded ARMY. I really tried to make my passion as a source of income and it warms my heart to see people having fun when I teach them those dances.

“Check it. Anyways, I gotta go. I still have a lot to do. As you know, the company is busy since BTS will be releasing another album sometime this year.” My brother currently works as a Recording Engineer in Big Hit. He used to brag to me that he’ll spend hours with BTS and TXT. I was jealous of course but I am so proud he’s working for them. Whenever I listen to songs from Big Hit artists, I try to think that he has contributed to a lot of songs despite not knowing what exact songs he has worked on. Another reason why I listen and support them.

We both said our farewells and dropped the call. As I took out all the contents of the package unto the floor, I used my phone on the other hand. I opened my mail and saw few unread emails. Some of them were from my subscriptions on Netflix and Spotify, which I barely read. On top of the list was my brother’s mail. I saw the subject “READ THIS FANGIRL!” and I laughed. Here I thought he sent me something urgent or important that needs my utmost attention. Must be another event or merchandise that they’ve yet to announce to the public.

I opened the mail and my eyes were glued to the first line of the message body.

“Big Hit is hiring backup dancers. See the forwarded email below, sis. I think they’re meaning to assign whoever they’ll hire as part of BTS dance team.” Did I just receive this email? It came from my brother so it must be true. He won’t prank me like that. If I apply, there’s no guarantee that I’ll be hired right? That’s too bad if I won’t be hired but there’s nothing to lose if I try to apply.

I left my package scattered throughout my floor and ran towards my laptop lying on my bed. I sat down on the floor beside my bed and opened my laptop. I felt like a kid but here I am, rushing to find my resume to apply for a new job that might eventually change my life.

….

It’s been a week since I applied as a backup dancer for Big Hit. I sent in my resume and a few videos of me dancing to some of their artists’ songs. I’m lucky to have known a lot of BTS’ songs and choreographies by heart and I might have tried to study some of their label mates’ songs as well. I haven’t received a reply back from them and I’m worried that I may not receive any response ever.

Apparently, BTS is known for having only male backup dancers as far as I know so it’s news to me that they’re hiring female backup dancers now. It got me thinking that this might also attract fellow fangirls like me to apply but knowing Big Hit, they wouldn’t want anything scandalous to happen just because they hired female backup dancers. I’m not saying that female dancers lack professionalism but how the boys are the top rank boy group in the country, female fans would be green with jealousy if they see female dancers dancing with them. Some Armies are really protective when it comes to the boys so it’s really shocking to hear that the company is finally considering this.

The day that I got the mail from my brother, I spent half of my day planning what dances to shoot and submit. I chose BTS’ Idol and Singularity, TXT’s Crown and a freestyle dance to Beyonce’s Yonce. I wanted to showcase my range in dancing by carefully choosing a variety of songs. I admit that the reason I may have applied to this job is partly because I’m a fangirl but nonetheless, my passion for dancing is bigger. I have been dancing since I was a kid but I was not this confident at the start. It’s hard to convince me to perform in front of a bigger audience, let alone a stadium full of fans. I slowly got over my fear little by little when I started teaching dance classes at the dance studio. The fear is still there and you may wonder why I am applying for this job when I’m scared shit in performing for a large audience. BTS taught me to love myself and I am really trying my best to go out of my comfort zone. I figured that this may be my best chance in doing so. Also, I get the benefit of working alongside them which is a big plus.

I couldn’t really focus on my job for the whole week. I find myself regularly checking my mail in the hopes of getting a response from Big Hit. 5 days and there’s still no mail. Maybe my email just went to their spam folder or maybe I typed in the wrong mail. On the 7th day while I was pulling out my clothes in the dryer, I heard a ping from my phone from across the hall. I left my phone on my bed and the laundry room is right beside my room. I noticed that the ping was my assigned tone for mails. I hurriedly took out all my warm dry clothes and unto the basket, closed the door of the dryer and turned the lights off in the laundry room.

“New Mail. Subject: Dance Team Application” I saw the notification banner and my heart just jumped out of my chest. I felt my forehead sweating profusely, fingers shaking and my throat closing up as I try to open my phone and check my mail. I silently and swiftly read the contents of the mail. After two seconds, I shrieked at the top of my lungs and threw my phone across my bed. I ran out of my room and in circles around the living room. Good thing I live alone so that I could just celebrate and make loud noises like this. I jumped up and down on the sofa while etching the image of the mail into my head. I buried my head on my pillows and shouted once more, emptying all the air out of my lungs.

I ran back into my room and read the mail again.

“Good day, Miss Y/N.

We have received your application and we are glad to say that we are impressed with your resume and skillset. We would like you to come in our office tomorrow so we can meet and talk personally with our dance team. We are glad to have you join our current dance team. Details of our meeting are expressed below.

Time: 10 am

Address: 42 Teheran-ro 108-gil, Daechi-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul, South Korea

Attire: Comfortable Casual

Please look for Mina at the front desk to escort you. Thank you.”

I still can’t believe what I’m seeing. Did I just got accepted? As a backup dancer? For Big Hit? Maybe for BTS? I’m such a lucky fangirl. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

….

It’s a good thing that my schedule is free today. I don’t have any clients in the gym scheduled for today and the dance studio is closed for today. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I woke up at 6 am as I feel my jitters bothering my sleep. I tried to go back to sleep but I trashed the bed and rolled side to side for about 30 mins so I decided to go for a run. I turned on my Spotify and played my ‘Intense Run Playlist’ which mostly consists of high bpm BTS songs. There’s a jogging path near where I live and the scenery is filled with trees. Very calming, which I really need right now.

I arrived in front of the Big Hit Building around 8:30 am. I made sure to arrive early as I don’t want to be late for the meeting. I’m so anxious right now if I’m allowed to go up as early as 9 am or should I just arrived on time. I lingered outside and paced back and forth at a nearby shade. I wondered if I could visit my brother and stay with him for the mean time.

“Is she a stalker?” I heard whispers coming from my right as I slumped back at the pole where I’m taking shade just across the building. “That’s scary.” Three schoolgirls were standing a few meters away from me. They were staring and smirking at me. I wondered why they would think of me as such then I realized that I wore my hoodie up to cover half of my face.

“I’m not…”

“Good luck stalker-nim. You won’t get a glimpse of the boys.” They giggled and ogled me with judgmental looks with their arms across the chests. “Can you get away from the boys? We don’t want stalker armies like you.”

“As I said, I’m not a stalker and I’m older than you. Why are you talking to me in an informal tone?” I pull my hoodie off my head and slowly tread towards them. They laughed and ran away at the sight of me making my way to them. Sheesh, do I really look like a stalker?

I looked at my watch and it’s still 9:10 am. I guess I could try and visit my brother. The fresh morning air blew gently in my face, as if to welcome me, and be my merry playmate, and the sun looked at me with a warm and tender smile. What a nice start to my day, I thought. I put up my hoodie again and I was comfortable once more with the warmth my mere hoodie gave me.

“I have a meeting in your building today. Do you want to meet up? I’m not due until 10 am. – your adorable look alike” I texted my brother and inserted my phone back in my pocket. I breathed in the fresh breeze and not a second later, my phone pinged. I pulled out my phone to see my brother’s name on the screen.

“Lucky, I’m on a coffee break. I’ll be down in a sec.” he replied. A grin was present on my face as I stood up from where I was leaning. I skipped from across the street towards the building. I looked above at the sky and towards the top of the Big Hit Building and when I returned my gaze back in front of me, I was met by a dark haired man in his mid-twenties. I bumped into him and was knocked down at the side of the street. I exclaimed in pain as I rub my backside.

“Hey look where you’re go…” I looked up and immediately recognized the face. The man was wearing a grey Fear of God shirt paired with black baggy pants. His face was half covered by a black mask and his hair was kept away from his face with a black headband almost occupying his whole forehead.

“You should be the one watching you’re going. Crossing the street while prancing around like that.” He scoffed and continued to make his way towards the building. He didn’t even help me up. I sneered back.

“I’m sorry. I assure you that he’s not usually like this. He’s in a bad mood.” Two hands were suddenly around my elbows, propping me up from the ground. I turned my head and saw a woman around mid-twenties as well. She was carrying an opened big black bag propped on her right shoulder with filled with piles of unruly papers stuck inside. When I finally was able to stand up properly, she took off her hands from me and bowed in apology. She swiftly followed the man and shouted, “Yoongi, wait. I can explain.”

So I was right. It was Suga. All the images of a funny and loving Min Yoongi ran through my mind. Just like a scary movie, it was replaced by a disgusted look he shot at me a while ago. Did he…. Maybe he thought I was a stalker or something? I guess if I really looked like one then I don’t blame him for shooting those looks at me. However, a decent person would help anyone up in that situation.

I beat the dust off my hoodie and slowly treaded towards the building’s entrance. Not a really good way to start my first interaction with anyone from BTS, I thought.

Next part: 2

[jeontaehui]

nananananana (210331 VLIVE)

taehee bites back a grin as fans enter the live. “hello everyoneeee,” she greets softly, her cheekbones lifting into a soft smile. “i’m in the practice room once again.”

“i was just learning a dance actually, it’s my break right now so this’ll probably be short,” she mentions. “and then i turned on vlive without asking permission— well, i did ask permission after i... turned it on,” she giggles. “she’s gonna say yes anyways. no one can say no to me,” the comments section blows up after she sent a sly wink to the viewers. she knew her effect on them one way or another. 

mark lee i love you HELLO THE TITLE?? IS THIS A SPOILER???

lee donghyuck’s long hair i only entered the live but i feel like crying T—T why must she be so cute

taeyongbub taehee in the practice room is so attractive??? wth???

taehee tucks a few strands behind her ear asking, “did you guys have dinner already? have you guys eaten?”

mataechan what did taehee eat today?

hyuckschurros PIZZA !!!!

“aw, pizza? i’m craving now,” she shortly puts on a pout before a smile shows itself once again. “i haven’t eaten but i think i’ll have........ um,” taehee seems to think for a moment as she looks up the ceiling, trying to remember what jungwoo said she’d have at the dorms.

“i can’t remember,” she shrugs, proceeding to continue reading the comments.

jungwoo tehet are you going to dance again?

aussiechan TAEHEEEE !!! come home to australia :(

svtzen DREAM SPOILERS PLEASEE

“the dance that me and my teacher did today was to party favors by tinashe! i have to practice some more to get it right but i’m,” she stands up and dusts off her track pants, placing the phone on the floor in front of the mirror, “going to show you guys the part where i’m most confident in.”

she disappears as she goes to the side to play the music, and the strong beats of tinashe’s party favors fills the practice room. she adjusts her pants around her waist and runs a hand through her black hair, ruffling her bangs for a moment before getting into position.

she dances. no matter how hard-hitting the choreography is, taehee knew well how to control her own body, and gracefully yet powerfully sync her movements to the beats.

taehee marry me she’s so hot what the heck do i do

markcity i’m single for this reason only

fullsunnn THIS IS WHY WE NEED A TAEHEE SOLO ASAP !!!

from the corner of her eye, taehee sees her dance instructor imitate the part where she got the dance wrong during their practice, causing her to lose focus and burst into laughter.

ncityinthehouse everyone, the duality of miss jeon taehee

“unnie is laughing at me right now!” taehee giggles. her eyes glance to the side then back to the screen. “yes so, until there did i memorize the dance. i’ll try to post on instagram the full version of it. oh!” she claps her hands excitedly, a habit nctzens took note of before she says an idea.

“since it’s a wednesday today and! the end of the month, you guys can comment whatever you guys want me to do or any question you want to ask and i’ll answer them.”

“i’m going to scroll with my eyes closed and whatever my finger lands on will be picked,” she cutely asks if the viewers got it before briefly explaining what she just said in english.

“i’ll give you guys maybe 30 seconds? is 30 seconds enough? okay, ready and start!”

taehee bobbed her head as she counted the numbers in her head. “30! okay, i’ll close my eyes now.”

juhfahm skincare routine?

merrymark give us a phone tour :D

twiceyeon please watch switch to me by dahyun and chaeyoung !!!! <3

“from twiceyeon,” taehee reads, putting her emcee mode on. “please watch switch to me by dahyun and chaeyoung! ohh i think i’ve seen this on my recommended but i haven’t had the time to watch it— sorry, chaeyoung-ah,” she winces.

you can hear keys being tapped on taehee’s phone screen as she typed the title on youtube’s search bar. the music video appears a few seconds later and she immediately clicks on it.

“oooo dahyun-ssi is very pretty,” taehee says. her expression quickly changes when she sees the twice member use her foot as she played the piano, her hand going up to cover the giggles that escaped out of her. “this is so cool,” she beamed.

“oh sexy!” taehee exclaims after chaeyoung appeared. “i really like chaengie’s short hair.”

she compliments the set when the scene changes, a summer pool vibe replacing the vintage set-up at the intro. “the dance is cute too,” she mumbles.

she smiles at chaeyoung and dahyun’s playfulness in the music video before moving on to compliment her best friend again. “chaeyoung is seriously so pretty... whaaat!”

taehee continues to watch the rest of the video as she moves to the beat, occasionally letting out a chuckle or two at the adorableness of the duo.

“hold on,” she grabs her earphones and plugs them into her phone. “(it’s) to avoid copyright,” she smirks.

taehee finishes the music video with a grin on her face, “the music video was very cute! did they perform this on stage? i think the stage set and the fits would’ve been pretty.”

“speaking of music videos, baekhyun hyung’s new album just dropped yesterday! have you guys watched the music video?” taehee shuffles closer to the camera to read the comments. almost everyone was saying that they did, in fact, watch the music video and really enjoyed it.

“i never said this directly to him but i really am a fan of his, seriously,” she dictates. taehee breaks into a grin as she giggles again, the viewers watching how her eyes twinkled while she talked. “‘bambi’ is really great— it’s immaculate. you guys should stream the whole album and recommend it to your family and friends. baekhyunie hyung never fails to deliver (good songs).”

bbhubblegum taehee promoting baekhyun and other artists better than sm pt. 74628392

going on her phone, she mumbles, “and i really like the choreography of his songs.” there was an adorable pout to her lips as she spoke, much to the amusement of the viewers.

then she looks up from the device in her hands and her eyes hold a certain glint in them before she playfully squints. “just be quiet about this though. i am never gonna hear the end of this from him,” she shakes her head with an amused chuckle, recalling all the times baekhyun teased her and the ‘admiration’ she has for him.

“you’re my only bambi bambi,” taehee sang effortlessly. “it’s a perfect night for you,” her tone was a little softer this time.

“okay so that was our first request? dare? of the live, let’s get to the next one right away!”

taeheeroar do you listen to the neighborhood?

wooyoungification do you want to collab with anyone? if so, who?

“the next one is.... wooyoungification! ooo wooyoung-ah hello,” taehee says, prolonging the last syllable of her sentence. “they asked, “do you want to collab with anyone? if so, who?”

“well,” she clears her throat, furrowing her eyebrows as if she were in thought. “there are a lot of great artists out there. taylor swift is already my answer by default but,” she giggles again, “if i have to think of people outside sm, i think it’d be nice to have a collab with stray kids’ 3racha. they’re their producing unit if i’m not mistaken. it’d be fun to work with them.”

“i also had this dream of having a collaboration stage with the other dancers outside nct, like blackpink’s lisa or seulgi unnie. would you guys want that?”

midzyseason this isnt good for my gay ass

reveluvbar can taehee just take over sm

taehee hums, “i think i never mentioned it before but i wanna try doing drama ost’s too. i don’t watch as much dramas as i do before, but when i was still learning korean, they helped me so much.”

“i watched ‘guardian: the lonely and great god’ a lot and i really liked ‘stay with me’. hopefully, i can collab with punch too.”

taehee unconsciously moves her lips to the side, forming another pout and thinks again. “from sm, i think kai hyung? not counting superm, okay?” she beams.

“kai hyung and,” then a snort escapes taehee before she could even stop it, “baekhyun hyung.”

she puts a hand to her chest once she recovers from her mini-giggling fit before holding it up and swearing it was the truth. “these two were the ones that came to the top of my head, seriously.”

beansprout lolll remember when kai used to “complain” about taehee ever only talking about sehun cause he was the one she was closest to in exo when they first met ?

sodangerous it’s so touching how taehee looked up to exo while she was still a trainee and now they’re like family

taehee nods and bites her bottom lip, asking herself, “why do i feel like a youtuber?”

she smiles to someone off screen and quickly glances back to the camera, “next question!”

asteroidsung what did you get for renjun’s birthday?

“what did i get for renjun’s birthday? i just gave mine literally yesterday. i know it’s summer but i gave him a hoodie that i thought would look cute on him,” she smiles. “it was pink.”

“i was with haechanie when i bought it.”

chenlezoned hyuck said he’s gonna marry daegal next month

“hyuck’s gonna marry who now?!” taehee exclaims, “DAEGAL’S A MINOR!!!”

dreamtopia BYEEEEEEE

themissingpuzzlepiece everyone at haechan marrying daegal:❓❓meanwhile taehee: 🌋🌋⁉️

boohoohyuck sending my prayers to lee haechan

just then, taehee’s phone suddenly rings and her eyes widen at the caller id displayed on the screen. “wow, this dude’s timing is really! spot-on.”

she puts the speaker on, “donghyuck-ah, what’s this i’m hearing that you’re marrying daegal?? are you leaving me and chubs already?! oh and you’re on speaker.”

fullseun don’t you just cry on the inside when markhee calls hyuck by his real name or fullsun

you hear haechan’s boisterous laughter first before he could answer taehee’s question. “i talked about that on vlive,” he said, “where are you?”

“i’m doing vlive.”

“but it’s almost midnight.”

when taehee makes no move to answer, haechan goes, “are you in the practice room again?”

“so?” taehee answers sassily, causing the boy on the other end of the line to groan.

“noona, we talked about this already,” haechan whines. “then we can talk about it again later!” taehee shrugs exasperatedly. “noona....” the former warns, as if he was scolding a child. “i’m just on a break,” she gives in, “i’ll go home soon.”

“promise?” taehee rolls her eyes, though it was clear that she was grateful for haechan’s concern by the soft smile she held on her face. “i promise.”

taehyuckles i know i wished for a taehyuck live but this will suffice Gosh they are so cute !!!!!!

“you haven’t said hello to czennie,” taehee reminds him. “czennie, hello!!” he greets sweetly.

“anyways, i just called you because you agreed to playing a few rounds with me but i’ll just wait for you until you get home,” taehee winces at his statement. she might have forgotten. “oh right, i’m sorry. just a few more minutes?” haechan hums affirmatively from the other end.

“get home safely, noonaaa,” after they exchanged their goodbyes, taehee hangs up the call.

“yes, okay! everyone that was lee haechan on the phone with me and i think i can do,” she turns her back to look at the wall clock in the practice room, “three more comments.”

yangqied taehee’s an idol in the day, pro-gamer by night

“okay, so our next question is: are you friends with aespa? yes! i am friends with aespa,” she beamed.

“i actually saw them the day before their debut stage. my time slot in the practice room was after theirs and so we met there,” taehee recalls. “they’re very pretty! and they look cool when they danced to ‘black mamba’. i wished them luck on their debut stage,” she chuckles.

taehee closes her eyes and proceeds to swipe at the screen, “next question is... oh! i dare you to post on instagram. okay, let me find some photos and show you guys so we can all vote.”

“i’ll send them on bubble but i’ll show it here too in case you guys don’t have a subscription. that’s okay.”

markerlee tb to when taehee sent her pcs to bubble... she really said fuck capitalism !!!!

“okay, option 1: this one,” she brings her phone up to the screen, showing a picture of her with the bird filter on mac.

jisungbye I LIKE THIS ONEEE

kunniekunkun this one’s cute!!!

moloism markhee pls post ur photos with the mac filters im begging you

“orrrr this one,” she faces her phone towards the camera once more. she was sitting on the pavement with the view of the orange-pink sunset behind her, a mask concealing half of her face.

the127thsense everything just screams girlfriend material to me

deryqueen taehee, i am free this friday. i repeat, i am free this friday.

solhyuck i think you should post these as a set on instagram!

“what should i post on instagram? everyone choose between 1 or 2!” taehee tells them in korean, before switching to english. “you guys pick between the first one and the second one, and i’ll post it on instagram.”

oncezenni 2

flamboyanthyuck the second one!

ohmajesus i like the first one

iamjeno second pleaseee

“mm okay, most of you are voting for the second one so i’ll be posting that first thing tomorrow! and then i’ll just send the other one on bubble,” taehee puts her pinky finger up as she speaks, making a promise to the viewers.

“how many was that? two already?” a pout subtly makes its way on taehee’s lips and a few of her hair strands fell in front of her face, causing her to push them back as she huffed. nctzens found it adorable!

takeoffbesttrack can i kiss you.

“can you kiss me?” taehee presses her lips on the tips of her fingers before lightly tapping them on the screen. “i,” one of the corners of her mouth raises to a smirk, “kissed you.”

mahaecries GODDDD

tenvely you will be the death of me

deryqueen AGAIN TAEHEE I AM FREE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT !!!!!!!!!!

taehee giggles after seeing the comment section blow up and her dimples peek out from her cheeks.

“i’m gonna have to end this soon, guys. this is the last one, okay?”

haecity can you go live with markhyuck?

snoopyscoop do you have any more funny stories with jungwoo?

taromilktea did you see sungchan when he debuted as an emcee?

“did i go see sungchan when he debuted as emcee? nooo,” she frowns, “but i did call him on facetime.”

“he said he was nervous but i told him he’d do great! and he did, right?” taehee’s frown was quickly turned into a proud grin. “i watched a replay of it on youtube the day after. he was very cute.”

“i told him to just think of it like he was talking to us so he’s more comfortable, and he told me it helped a lot so i’m relieved,” she nods. “i sent him churros too!”

taehee shuffles closer to the camera and brings her knees close to her chest while she talks, “please support him! i know sungchanie’s glad to have received this opportunity that’s why he’s been practicing diligently.”

taehee reads a few more comments and smiles at the funny ones. the humor of nctzens never fail to make her smile. the memes they send during menpas are so hilarious that she can’t help but reply to most of them.

taeheespresident i guess she’s gonna end the live now? :(

jungwootehet it’s nearing 1 am and i still have school tomorrow...... whoops!

“i’ll have to go now guys, it was nice doing all this with you,” taehee softly mumbles.

“i like this idea of having you guys comment what you would want me to do ‘cause i’m able to connect with you guys more, i’ll try to do a live again soon.”

“the weather’s nice here in korea— well at least for me,” she chuckles, “it rained recently but it might be hot? in other places so please remember to stay hydrated and drink lots of water.”

“also wear your masks and keep social distancing! we’re not only trying to protect ourselves but we have to stop the spreading of it all so,” taehee gives another small smile at the camera as she reminds the people to be careful, “stay safe.”

after a few beats of silence, taehee speaks again. “okay so, until here is taehee’s nananananana live!” she sings while doing the infamous choreo of ‘go’.

empathy127 I KNEW IT WAS FROM GO !!!!

“good night! or good morning to those who are starting their day right now,” she adds, “goodnight! we’ll see you guys soon.”

taehee does her infamous ily hand gesture and winks at the camera before waving bye and ending the livestream.

[nose-bandaid]

n.i.t.e.

hi 👉👈 may i please request reader&wooseok + wooseok giving reader guitar lessons or maybe writing a song together? i love the idea of quiet nights in the studio, just being creative together and enjoying each other's company... it sounds really nice 😔

Wooseok x (gender neutral) Reader fluff | 1.7k words

synopsis: nights like these, where it was just the two of you chilling, making music together — you found them most enjoyable.

a/n: BAM another request done. for you anon !!! i hope you enjoy, this was very fun to write :D

=====

"Home at last," Wooseok sighed as he punched in the pin to his studio and pushed the door open. Trailing behind him, you looked around at the familiar room and quirked an eyebrow.

"You call this your home now? Not the dorms?"

He shrugged. "I practically live here, so it might as well be. But you know," He gently kicked the leg of the couch nearby. "I got my bed right here." He then lazily gestured to the setup of all the music equipment you could possibly imagine. "Entertainment right there," Lastly, he turned around and placed a heavy hand on the top of your head, his other hand reaching down to tug the bag of snacks out of your grasp. "And my kitchen right here!"

"You calling me a kitchen?" You retorted in mock offence.

Your boyfriend ignored the comment. "I'd say this is a pretty good home! So come in, come in, welcome to my humble abode."

"You're kitchen says thank you." You replied and he sent you a cheeky grin as you shut the door behind you.

While Wooseok took a seat and started up the computer, you headed over to the low coffee table next to the couch. Scattered on top of it was a mess of sheet music and stray lyric sheets, forgotten by the other members. Instinctively, you sat down and began to sort through the papers, allocating different piles for different categories to the best of your ability.

"How do you guys manage to work like this? Nothing's organized." You chastised when you recognized papers from eras ages ago.

"We don't." Wooseok laughed as he continued clicking away on his software. "Thanks for cleaning it up, the others will appreciate it."

"As long as you give me credit." You hummed.

It was a peaceful setting — the shuffling of the papers mixed with the quiet tune playing from Wooseok's speakers every so often. The dim lights from above and the drawn curtains gave a cozy feeling. This place was just for the two of you.

You enjoyed it very much, it wasn't often that you got to hang out like this; basking in each other's presence.

Your hand hesitated when your eye caught a familiar title on one of the sheets. Pulling it out from the pile, you realized it was guitar part for one of their songs — your favourite.

"Hey wait I really like this song!" You gasped and the other idly replied, too focused on the work in front of him.

"Wooseok." You tried again.

"Mhm?"

"Teach me how to play this song, I wanna play it."

That got his attention.

Getting up from his seat, he walked over and glanced at the papers in front of you. "Ah, a classic, everyone knows how to play this song."

"So you can teach me?"

He smiled as he grabbed the guitar from its stand. "Of course."

Wooseok started right away, teaching you about frets and chords and how to read the tablature in front of you and how to properly position your fingers and woah — that was a lot.

But it's okay because Wooseok is sitting behind you, guiding you through everything and you're slowly managing to read through the music.

"This is a bit harder than I thought it would be." The utterance of defeat fell off your lips before you could even register it.

"No, no you're doing just fine. How about you try it like this?" He reached over your shoulders to position your hands correctly on the fret. "Try strumming it now."

You gave the guitar a tentative strum and perked up when the chord came out much clearer than it did before.

"See?" Wooseok chuckled. "You're doing amazing baby, it just takes time. At the rate you're learning at, I'm gonna have to tell Yuto you'll be giving him a run for his money."

You hummed in response absentmindedly as you slowly but surely tried to memorize the fingering for the next chord. "I guess it's not that bad."

"Exactly! There's always tough obstacles that come in the way of making music, but once you get started, all you have to do is go with the flow and you'll get there eventually." He explained as he went back to his seat and dropped onto it with a soft huff. He proceeded to search through his drawers in search of something before pulling out a book and pen.

"Speaking of music, I want to write a song," Wooseok said a few minutes later, out of the blue. "Like right now. I feel determined."

"All in one go?" You asked and he nodded in agreement.

"So," He continued and tapped his pen onto the empty pages of his notebook. "Tell me, y/n. What's something you've been thinking about these days?"

"What have I been thinking about...?" You echoed, still focused on playing the song in front of you. There was a suspenseful pause as you recalled your thoughts from the past few days.

"You."

Wooseok stifled a laugh from behind his hand. "Seriously? Don't you think that's a bit of a cliché thing to write about?"

You stopped playing fully and rested your weight on the guitar. "Then there must be a good reason why it's so popular, right?"

"Touché. Let's get started on that idea then — praise me! Compliment me! Tell me why you love me!"

"Ah... for some reason I don't feel like writing about this topic now." You teased.

"HEY!"

=====

Hours later, the lyrics were done, the melody was drafted and ready for recording. You let Wooseok do most of the vocals for the demo, but he insisted you take part in some of it as well. Looking back on everything that happened, you were amazed to see how your determination allowed you to get so much work done.

"What should we title it?" Wooseok asked and you heard the sound of him saving the piece.

"That's a very good question, I don't usually like this part 'cause it always feels like it has to be perfect."

He pursed his lips as he thought, staring at the LED clock for inspiration. "What about NITE? As in like, N-I-T-E."

"N-I-T-E for Noodles In The Evening?" You joked, nodding towards the empty cup noodles sitting nearby along with discarded snack wrappers.

The boy burst out in laugher at your statement. "No, no, not for that."

You tilted your head curiously. For someone who didn't have a title in mind a few moments ago, it seemed like he had underlying intentions behind that name.

"I was thinking... Never Is There Enough." He proposed, eyes hesitant, but a hint of confidence in his voice.

"Never enough what?"

Wooseok made an odd noise in his throat as he made his way over to the couch that you were resting on and flopped his body onto yours. You took a deep breath, trying to adjust to his weight and he buried his face in the crook of your neck. Very faintly, you could feel his lips moving as he muttered something.

"Woo, never enough what?" You asked again, laughing lightly at his antics.

He lifted his head and stared at you with a newfound passion. "N-never is there enough of everything!" His voice died a little before continuing. "You know like... kisses."

Wooseok gave you a quick peck on the lips to prove his point.

"No matter how many times I kiss you, I feel like it's not enough to express how much I love you." He said in one breath. Even with the dim lighting of the room, you could tell he was blushing.

"And when I tell you that I love you thiiiiis much," he opened his arms as wide as he could, accidentally knocking his hand against the wall (and letting out a quiet ow). "Even though my arms are really long, I'd reach from here to the moon if I could."

"Okay—"

He continued rambling before you could fully reply. "There's also never enough time! I wish every night could be spent like this, just the two of us hanging out, but we're both busy so it rarely happens."

You faltered a little, no longer knowing how to respond to his sudden outburst.

"Sorry, that was a little overbearing, I'm just a little excited," Wooseok said sheepishly. "I really want this to be our song, you know?"

"I get that," You gently patted his head in reassurance. "I don't find it overwhelming, you were just too cute I needed a moment to register all of that."

"So you think the name is okay?"

You cupped his cheeks and pulled him in for another kiss.

"I think it's perfect, and you seem like it so much I don't think I can go against it."

You adored the glimmer in his eyes when he heard your reply.

"Though I think I still like Noodles In The Evening more... or Never Is There Enough noodles!" You added on and whispered a just kidding when his expression broke into a pout.

"Are you hungry again or something?"

You averted your gaze. "Maybe."

"Do you wanna order more food?" He asked.

You immediately perked up at the offer. "Seriously?"

"Always serious when it comes to food."

"What time is it?"

"Ehh..." He gave the innocent clock a disapproving look. "Late, but something's gonna be open so it's fine."

"Then I'm down," You said, sitting up and watching Wooseok reach over for his phone. As he searched for places to order from, you spoke up again.

"Hey, Wooseok?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's do this again sometime, it was nice."

A small smile tugged on his lips at your words. "Really? Even though we didn't do much?"

"Dude, of course! Any time spent with you is amazing and we pretty much have our own song already made," you said, leaning forward as Wooseok listened to you with full interest. "Let's make it our goal to have an album done then. An album special to just the two of us, how does that sound?"

The smile on his face was wide now. "That sounds amazing."

"You're amazing," You kissed him on the nose and he flushed.

"I think every time you kiss me, I suddenly gain the ability to write a new song about just how much I love you," Wooseok admitted, before pulling you into yet another kiss.

"If that's the case, our album will be done in no time."

[kingstylesdaily]

Harry Styles’ “Adore You” Is Everything a Music Video Should Be (Including Underappreciated by The VMAs)

KSD NOTE: there is a mention of suicide in regards to the beginning of Adore You.

On November 18, 2019, a website promoting a mysterious place called Eroda (“No Land Quite Like It”) arrived on the internet. Two days later, the official Twitter account for this fictional frown-shaped island began teasing local seaside attractions. You may have missed it, depending on which corners of the internet you choose to lurk, but not if you were a Harry Styles fan, a group that went into pure overdrive trying to figure out what it all meant.

I, for one, missed it at the time. I was unaware this account was cryptically quote tweeting fans as they tried to piece together what was happening, what it meant, and what it could be connected to (Greek Mythology and Lost were a couple of theories posed in comments, Twitter threads, and Reddit). Meanwhile, the Columbia Records marketing department had been hard at work for months, devising this specific and highly-detailed campaign around the music video for Styles’ second single, “Adore You” from his second solo album, Fine Line, ever since he shot the video in Scotland in August 2019 (Eroda = Adore backwards — clever!).

But it was all leading up to the morning of Friday, December 6 when the video was released, one week before the full-length album arrived. Up until that point, I had never seen an entire Harry Styles music video, but what happened next was inevitable. Somehow, as a self-proclaimed boy band scholar, I had never paid much attention to One Direction. I kept a distant eye on Styles since they disbanded, intrigued by the decisions he was making in his solo career. But I hadn’t yet realized I’d been in the ring all throughout the fall of 2019, fighting to resist the inevitable fascination that awaited. First came the jab of Rob Sheffield’s Rolling Stone profile, followed by the cross of “Lights Up”, a song that cracked my Top 20 most listened to songs of the year despite being released just two months before Spotify so thoughtfully compiled that personalized playlist. Then there was the hook of his SNL hosting stint in November (and bless you Bowen Yang for that Sara Lee sketch), which then leads us to the “Adore You” video, the uppercut and ultimate TKO. I surrendered in what felt like a near instant. I was now a Harry Styles fan. (If we’re following this analogy, I sat up to spit out some blood after seeing that cover of “Juice” before my head quickly hit the mat again with a loud thud).

Maybe it’s not quite remarkable that I took time out of a Friday morning to watch a music video, but that I sat at my desk, in an office, with other people around (back when we did those kinds of things) and proceeded to wipe away a few tiny tears from under my eyes by the end of it, was an experience I had not been through… maybe ever? In a world of lyric videos and TikToks, actual, thoughtful, impactful music videos with a full (and sweet!) story are about as rare as a glowing and growing fish these days.

Ultimately, “Adore You” does everything a music video should do. In nearly eight minutes, this video uses excellent visual effects in a cool and interesting way, tells a compelling and heartfelt story, is anchored by an irresistible leading man and an adorable sidekick, is backed up by the catchiest song you could ever dream of, and culminates with a touching and hopeful ending. It’s a treat for the eyes and the ears and the soul. It’s innovative and the kind of thing that begs you to watch it more than once to catch all the details (and yes, I do tear up every time).

So one would think that an award show with the specific purpose of celebrating this type of creativity would be extra sure to nominate such a charming and effective clip, but alas, “Adore You” was overlooked in the MTV Video Music Awards main categories this year. Of course, some could argue that that fact only adds to the video’s credibility but I’ll do my best to not be that petty as I’m still rooting for it to win in the three technical categories where it picked up nominations: Best Visual Effects by Mathematic, Best Art Direction by Laura Ellis Cricks, and Best Direction by Dave Meyers, who remains one of the most inventive and influential directors of all time and whose videos with artists such as Missy Elliot, Pink, and Kendrick Lamar have been racking up nominations for nearly 20 years now. He also saw four other videos he directed get recognized this year: Normani’s “Motivation” (Best Chorography), Travis Scott’s “Highest in the Room” (Best Hop Hop and Best Visual Effects), Anderson .Paak’s “Lockdown” (Video For Good), and Camila Cabello feat. DaBaby’s “My Oh My” (Best Cinematography).

But I reached out to Meyers to specifically ask about the intricate details of “Adore You” and how it all came to be; how he captured such a vibe with the overcast and dreary weather, mixed so wonderfully with the charming oddities of the people that make up this world of Eroda. In addition to directing the video, he also co-wrote the story with Chris Shafer and said, “It’s the first idea that popped to mind after the first listen to the song, and the first idea I pitched to Harry. It was a story that underscored my understanding of what Harry stood for and felt it was necessary to tell it as a narrative to convey his optimism.”

The extended version of the video starts with a two-and-a-half-minute introduction to the world of Eroda, narrated by Rosalia. This includes the “peculiar” people and their professions on the island, meeting The Boy (Styles) and his glowing smile that most people try to avoid, and the quirky superstitions these people continue to live by. “It all served a purpose,” Meyers said of the details. “The superstitions were a set up for how society generally reacts to different things. They fear change or oddity, even if it’s what’s best for them.”

Meyers, however, did not share in that fear, as much of this video provided for interesting and new opportunities he had yet to experience throughout his decades-long career, which he listed off: ”Compelling narrative, CG character, remote location, Scottish crew (nothing phased them),” also noting that all of the other characters in the video were locals as well. So perhaps they were less fazed by the atmosphere across the four-day shoot in Scotland, but as Meyers recalled, the “weather was nuts. It rained every 20 minutes, then the sun, then cloud over.”

However, it’s likely that Mother Nature is also a Styles fan, as Meyers recalled, “I seem to remember going up on the hill for Harry’s picnic with the fish and being worried that it was so gloomy. By the time we came to shoot, the sun came out. And then the sun went away as soon as the scene was over. Similarly, we had the worst storm when Harry was contemplating suicide at the start. Pouring rain, drenching him. So I guess in that sense it was fun watching how Scotland provided a backdrop for the emotions we were after.”

And hey, at least they had the weather on their side to add to the mood while shooting the video, as one of their main characters, well, didn’t exist. “It was very odd shooting with no fish,” Meyers admitted. “But was quite rewarding later seeing it dropped in and making empathic sense to the story we were after.”

Of course, the main character they did have on hand is an awfully useful and appealing one at that. Fans became enamored with the moment Styles uses the back of his hand to check the temperature of a coffee pot before dumping the fish inside the water so it could stay alive. I asked Meyers about this particular moment and he said, “The problem we had was apparent when Harry ran in and threw the fish in the pot. We all sorta felt — well, what if it was hot? So I believe Harry improvised that as a solution and we felt it was perfect for the character’s sensitivity and consideration for this poor fish.” And that’s not the only nice thing he does for his fish friend — he also serves him a tiny taco! “The taco was a whimsical way to express friendship between Harry and the fish,” Meyers offered. It looked pretty tasty, too.

The entire video serves as a showcase for what Styles does best and what makes him such a unique artist: his music, his acting, and his charisma, which Meyers knew would offer him a lot to work with. “Harry is a leading man. I felt that from my first meeting and wanted to play with his wonderful range of emotions. So finding a story with a real character arc was part of my focus in building this world.” Meyers described working on “Adore You” as an “all-around memorable shoot: awesome location, lovely Harry, compelling story, great effects, and… it worked.”

It did. And it was a risk: a video this complex and detailed (and one has to assume, costly), attached to a marketing campaign that proved to be even more involved, still came with no guarantee that the fans wouldn’t shrug it off. But as Manos Xanthogeorgis, SVP of Digital Marketing & Media at Columbia Records told Billboard last year, “When you have a video and a piece of art at such a level, it’s an incredible challenge for the rest of the team to build a campaign at that same level of artistry and creativity.” Oh, and that was only step one, as the marketing team engaged in “real-time marketing” with fans online, ensuring they would continue to remain engaged by dropping clues and clips in the lead-up to the video premiere and subsequently the album. “This whole campaign was around mystery and sometimes mystery is more powerful than knowledge,” Xanthogeorgis said. The Twitter handle has remained active throughout 2020, used as a continual marketing tool for Styles’ next videos including the Meyers-directed “Falling” and this summer’s hit, “Watermelon Sugar.”

With that kind of fan engagement, “Adore You” seemed like a no-brainer for the fan-voted categories of the VMAs this year, as they surely would’ve turned out to vote just as feverishly for this video as they did when searching for clues (about a made-up island, at that!). But hey, maybe MTV was just not interested in massive fan engagement this year — after all, it’s not like everything Styles does, including growing freakin’ facial hair, has the internet in a tizzy for weeks. Ultimately, as the impact of music videos (and certainly the ceremony celebrating them) continues to lose relevance, the disregard of this specific project simply feels like a missed opportunity to acknowledge a rare achievement in the art form.

While Meyers was sure to describe his inclusion in the VMA nominations this year as “lovely and flattering” (and he better have a moonperson in his possession this time next week, MTV!) it’s still puzzling why “Adore You” wouldn’t be included in the big categories, considering Styles is squarely within their demo, at the very least. That “Adore You” is also a technical and storytelling masterpiece, as well as a full moment that was used as inspiration both for the experience online and in-person at the Fine Line Spotify listening party last December, that also comes packed with one of the most enthusiastic groups of fans around, well, that should have had the entire network drooling.

Of course, some of this can simply be chalked up to a perfect storm. As far as his singles go, “Lights Up” was a nice appetizer, but “Adore You” remains the delicious entree (you already know what’s for dessert). “Adore You” is a perfect pop record if I’ve ever heard one (and I have) and deserved a special video. A Chris Isaak “Wicked Game” sexy vibe wasn’t going to work here. The song tells the story of such passionate, pure, and heartachingly naive and innocent love that it almost had to be directed toward a non-human being. Instead, Styles chose to inject those same carefree, sweaty, sticky, delicious, whimsical beach vibes into the “Watermelon Sugar” clip, which was the right choice, and not just for the summertime season (MTV has since added the Song of Summer category to the VMAs and included “Watermelon Sugar”).

But it’s “Adore You” that has melodies that bring a smile to the faces of babies, get your toes tapping even when you hear it in the dentist’s chair, and likely has my neighbors rolling their eyes when I sing along to it in the shower. The song is so simple it’s deep, a theme reflected in the video, as is the central reminder to help and care for others, a thoroughly 2020 message.

However, not all is lost. Both “Adore You” and “Watermelon Sugar” continue to rack up major spins at radio with the latter hitting number one on the Billboard charts earlier this month. Grammy voting kicks off at the end of September and Academy members should take note. Not only is Fine Line more than worthy of being acknowledged, but having Styles on hand to potentially collect trophies and perform is in your best interest when it comes to viewers and online chatter. Do not wait to take him seriously. This is the album, this is the time. Prove that you aren’t a bunch of stodgy old white men who think he’s just for teen (and um, thirty-something) girls, but that you understand the music he enjoys, is inspired by, and subsequently makes, is the same rock music you appreciate as well. An artist like Styles can be both of those things at the same time, and really, the best of both worlds. Give the album a listen, and then one more to let it all sink in. If you have not yet succumbed to the force that is Harry Styles fandom, I truly can’t recommend it enough — and please know that it will get you eventually.

Source: Decider.com

[hlupdate]

On November 18, 2019, a website promoting a mysterious place called Eroda (“No Land Quite Like It”) arrived on the internet. Two days later, the official Twitter account for this fictional frown-shaped island began teasing local seaside attractions. You may have missed it, depending on which corners of the internet you choose to lurk, but not if you were a Harry Styles fan, a group that went into pure overdrive trying to figure out what it all meant.

I, for one, missed it at the time. I was unaware this account was cryptically quote tweeting fans as they tried to piece together what was happening, what it meant, and what it could be connected to (Greek Mythology and Lostwere a couple of theories posed in comments, Twitter threads, and Reddit). Meanwhile, the Columbia Records marketing department had been hard at work for months, devising this specific and highly-detailed campaign around the music video for Styles’ second single, “Adore You” from his second solo album, Fine Line, ever since he shot the video in Scotland in August 2019 (Eroda = Adore backwards — clever!).

But it was all leading up to the morning of Friday, December 6 when the video was released, one week before the full-length album arrived. Up until that point, I had never seen an entire Harry Styles music video, but what happened next was inevitable. Somehow, as a self-proclaimed boy band scholar, I had never paid much attention to One Direction. I kept a distant eye on Styles since they disbanded, intrigued by the decisions he was making in his solo career. But I hadn’t yet realized I’d been in the ring all throughout the fall of 2019, fighting to resist the inevitable fascination that awaited. First came the jab of Rob Sheffield’s Rolling Stoneprofile, followed by the cross of “Lights Up”, a song that cracked my Top 20 most listened to songs of the year despite being released just two months before Spotify so thoughtfully compiled that personalized playlist. Then there was the hook of his SNL hosting stint in November (and bless you Bowen Yang for that Sara Lee sketch), which then leads us to the “Adore You” video, the uppercut and ultimate TKO. I surrendered in what felt like a near instant. I was now a Harry Styles fan. (If we’re following this analogy, I sat up to spit out some blood after seeing that cover of “Juice” before my head quickly hit the mat again with a loud thud).

Maybe it’s not quite remarkable that I took time out of a Friday morning to watch a music video, but that I sat at my desk, in an office, with other people around (back when we did those kinds of things) and proceeded to wipe away a few tiny tears from under my eyes by the end of it, was an experience I had not been through… maybe ever? In a world of lyric videos and TikToks, actual, thoughtful, impactful music videos with a full (and sweet!) story are about as rare as a glowing and growing fish these days.

Ultimately, “Adore You” does everything a music video should do. In nearly eight minutes, this video uses excellent visual effects in a cool and interesting way, tells a compelling and heartfelt story, is anchored by an irresistible leading man and an adorable sidekick, is backed up by the catchiest song you could ever dream of, and culminates with a touching and hopeful ending. It’s a treat for the eyes and the ears and the soul. It’s innovative and the kind of thing that begs you to watch it more than once to catch all the details (and yes, I do tear up every time).

So one would think that an award show with the specific purpose of celebrating this type of creativity would be extra sure to nominate such a charming and effective clip, but alas, “Adore You” was overlooked in the MTV Video Music Awards main categories this year. Of course, some could argue that that fact only adds to the video’s credibility but I’ll do my best to not be that petty as I’m still rooting for it to win in the three technical categories where it picked up nominations: Best Visual Effects by Mathematic, Best Art Direction by Laura Ellis Cricks, and Best Direction by Dave Meyers, who remains one of the most inventive and influential directors of all time and whose videos with artists such as Missy Elliot, Pink, and Kendrick Lamar have been racking up nominations for nearly 20 years now. He also saw four other videos he directed get recognized this year: Normani’s “Motivation” (Best Chorography), Travis Scott’s “Highest in the Room” (Best Hop Hop and Best Visual Effects), Anderson .Paak’s “Lockdown” (Video For Good), and Camila Cabello feat. DaBaby’s “My Oh My” (Best Cinematography).

But I reached out to Meyers to specifically ask about the intricate details of “Adore You” and how it all came to be; how he captured such a vibe with the overcast and dreary weather, mixed so wonderfully with the charming oddities of the people that make up this world of Eroda. In addition to directing the video, he also co-wrote the story with Chris Shafer and said, “It’s the first idea that popped to mind after the first listen to the song, and the first idea I pitched to Harry. It was a story that underscored my understanding of what Harry stood for and felt it was necessary to tell it as a narrative to convey his optimism.”

The extended version of the video starts with a two-and-a-half-minute introduction to the world of Eroda, narrated by Rosalia. This includes the “peculiar” people and their professions on the island, meeting The Boy (Styles) and his glowing smile that most people try to avoid, and the quirky superstitions these people continue to live by. “It all served a purpose,” Meyers said of the details. “The superstitions were a set up for how society generally reacts to different things. They fear change or oddity, even if it’s what’s best for them.”

Meyers, however, did not share in that fear, as much of this video provided for interesting and new opportunities he had yet to experience throughout his decades-long career, which he listed off: ”Compelling narrative, CG character, remote location, Scottish crew (nothing fazed them),” also noting that all of the other characters in the video were locals as well. So perhaps they were less fazed by the atmosphere across the four-day shoot in Scotland, but as Meyers recalled, the “weather was nuts. It rained every 20 minutes, then the sun, then cloud over.”

However, it’s likely that Mother Nature is also a Styles fan, as Meyers recalled, “I seem to remember going up on the hill for Harry’s picnic with the fish and being worried that it was so gloomy. By the time we came to shoot, the sun came out. And then the sun went away as soon as the scene was over. Similarly, we had the worst storm when Harry was contemplating suicide at the start. Pouring rain, drenching him. So I guess in that sense it was fun watching how Scotland provided a backdrop for the emotions we were after.”

And hey, at least they had the weather on their side to add to the mood while shooting the video, as one of their main characters, well, didn’t exist. “It was very odd shooting with no fish,” Meyers admitted. “But was quite rewarding later seeing it dropped in and making empathic sense to the story we were after.”

Of course, the main character they did have on hand is an awfully useful and appealing one at that. Fans became enamored with the moment Styles uses the back of his hand to check the temperature of a coffee pot before dumping the fish inside the water so it could stay alive. I asked Meyers about this particular moment and he said, “The problem we had was apparent when Harry ran in and threw the fish in the pot. We all sorta felt — well, what if it was hot? So I believe Harry improvised that as a solution and we felt it was perfect for the character’s sensitivity and consideration for this poor fish.” And that’s not the only nice thing he does for his fish friend — he also serves him a tiny taco! “The taco was a whimsical way to express friendship between Harry and the fish,” Meyers offered. It looked pretty tasty, too.

The entire video serves as a showcase for what Styles does best and what makes him such a unique artist: his music, his acting, and his charisma, which Meyers knew would offer him a lot to work with. “Harry is a leading man. I felt that from my first meeting and wanted to play with his wonderful range of emotions. So finding a story with a real character arc was part of my focus in building this world.” Meyers described working on “Adore You” as an “all-around memorable shoot: awesome location, lovely Harry, compelling story, great effects, and… it worked.”

It did. And it was a risk: a video this complex and detailed (and one has to assume, costly), attached to a marketing campaign that proved to be even more involved, still came with no guarantee that the fans wouldn’t shrug it off. But as Manos Xanthogeorgis, SVP of Digital Marketing & Media at Columbia Records told Billboard last year, “When you have a video and a piece of art at such a level, it’s an incredible challenge for the rest of the team to build a campaign at that same level of artistry and creativity.” Oh, and that was only step one, as the marketing team engaged in “real-time marketing” with fans online, ensuring they would continue to remain engaged by dropping clues and clips in the lead-up to the video premiere and subsequently the album. “This whole campaign was around mystery and sometimes mystery is more powerful than knowledge,” Xanthogeorgis said. The Twitter handle has remained active throughout 2020, used as a continual marketing tool for Styles’ next videos including the Meyers-directed “Falling” and this summer’s hit, “Watermelon Sugar.”

With that kind of fan engagement, “Adore You” seemed like a no-brainer for the fan-voted categories of the VMAs this year, as they surely would’ve turned out to vote just as feverishly for this video as they did when searching for clues (about a made-up island, at that!). But hey, maybe MTV was just not interested in massive fan engagement this year — after all, it’s not like everything Styles does, including growing freakin’ facial hair, has the internet in a tizzy for weeks. Ultimately, as the impact of music videos (and certainly the ceremony celebrating them) continues to lose relevance, the disregard of this specific project simply feels like a missed opportunity to acknowledge a rare achievement in the art form.

While Meyers was sure to describe his inclusion in the VMA nominations this year as “lovely and flattering” (and he better have a moonperson in his possession this time next week, MTV!) it’s still puzzling why “Adore You” wouldn’t be included in the big categories, considering Styles is squarely within their demo, at the very least. That “Adore You” is also a technical and storytelling masterpiece, as well as a full moment that was used as inspiration both for the experience online and in-person at the Fine Line Spotify listening party last December, that also comes packed with one of the most enthusiastic groups of fans around, well, that should have had the entire network drooling.

Of course, some of this can simply be chalked up to a perfect storm. As far as his singles go, “Lights Up” was a nice appetizer, but “Adore You” remains the delicious entree (you already know what’s for dessert). “Adore You” is a perfect pop record if I’ve ever heard one (and I have) and deserved a special video. A Chris Isaak “Wicked Game” sexy vibe wasn’t going to work here. The song tells the story of such passionate, pure, and heartachingly naive and innocent love that it almost had to be directed toward a non-human being. Instead, Styles chose to inject those same carefree, sweaty, sticky, delicious, whimsical beach vibes into the “Watermelon Sugar” clip, which was the right choice, and not just for the summertime season (MTV has since added the Song of Summer category to the VMAs and included “Watermelon Sugar”).

But it’s “Adore You” that has melodies that bring a smile to the faces of babies, get your toes tapping even when you hear it in the dentist’s chair, and likely has my neighbors rolling their eyes when I sing along to it in the shower. The song is so simple it’s deep, a theme reflected in the video, as is the central reminder to help and care for others, a thoroughly 2020 message.

However, not all is lost. Both “Adore You” and “Watermelon Sugar” continue to rack up major spins at radio with the latter hitting number one on the Billboard charts earlier this month. Grammy voting kicks off at the end of September and Academy members should take note. Not only is Fine Line more than worthy of being acknowledged, but having Styles on hand to potentially collect trophies and perform is in your best interest when it comes to viewers and online chatter. Do not wait to take him seriously. This is the album, this is the time. Prove that you aren’t a bunch of stodgy old white men who think he’s just for teen (and um, thirty-something) girls, but that you understand the music he enjoys, is inspired by, and subsequently makes, is the same rock music you appreciate as well. An artist like Styles can be both of those things at the same time, and really, the best of both worlds. Give the album a listen, and then one more to let it all sink in. If you have not yet succumbed to the force that is Harry Styles fandom, I truly can’t recommend it enough — and please know that it will get you eventually.

[armywriter2605]

BTS Reaction - Walking in on you singing/rapping along to one of their songs

Genre: fluff; slight angst; mentions of 18+ scenes

Warnings: None? It’s a wholesome post 

Words: 3.2k

Masterlist

So while I wrote this, my draft was not saved 4 times even though I clicked on the damn button. You can imagine my frustration after the second time. I almost gave up on writing this, big oof. 

I hope you enjoy it, though!!

GIFs NOT MINE  

Kim Namjoon

Namjoon had just come home from another long day full of recordings and practices. He wasn't sure if he was to find you home since he usually finished his day later, but he was pleased to see your shoes by the entrance, signifying you were in the house.

"Y/N? I'm home!"

On a normal day, once he said this, you would be running into his arms, kissing him and asking him about his day yet today you were nowhere to be found. Namjoon didn't like this. He enjoyed being greeted by you every night.

"Y/N?"

Namjoon started looking for you in the kitchen, where maybe you were cooking. Then proceeded to the bedroom, bathroom and living room. You were in none of those rooms. That was until the talk he had with you last night came to him. You had asked him if you could use the PC in his studio to finish some work and he, of course, said yes. He told you everything in this house was equally his as yours. He wasn’t expecting you to actually use the PC since you had always been very cautious of using things that weren't yours. There had been a lot of times when you had asked him to use something, but you never did since you were afraid that your clumsiness would try to screw something up.

It wasn't until he was peeking through the door inside the studio that he found you with his headphones on rapping perfectly the lyrics of his song; Do You.

The song was loud and you clearly hadn't noticed him standing against the wall, staring at you. Namjoon felt like he was falling in love with you for the first time all over again. The way your head nodded at the sound of the beat while you drummed your fingers against the table following the sound of his voice. The biggest smile curled his lips.

He felt so proud of you and questioned himself how he got to have such beautiful, kind and talented girlfriend.

“God, you’re so beautiful...”

Kim Seokjin

You and Jin had planned to go out for dinner with the rest of the boys just like you usually did when they came back from a tour, although since some of the boys were called in by the agency, all of you decided to have dinner in their dorm when the others came back. It was currently 1PM and you were taking a shower, getting ready for the dinner. Jin was supposed to pick you up at 3PM so you both could have a small date before you headed to the dorm. Just like always, you decided to put music on while you showered. This time you were in the mood to listen to your boyfriend’s beautiful voice and ruin the song while you sang alone. You just simply loved his voice in all of his songs. 

On the other hand, Jin got ready too early and decided to head over to your  apartment. He had the keys so he just casually let himself in. He was heading to your bedroom, yet stopped by the door once he heard a melody way too familiar. ‘Epiphany’ was playing. 

“Wha..” 

Jin was confused at first, but when he heard you screaming out ‘I’M THE ONE I SHOULD LOVE’ he burst out laughing, feeling the tears of joy come to his eyes. He loved how enthusiastically you were singing his song. It completely warmed his heart. 

“She’s so cute, what to do?”

Out of respect and not to scare the life out of you, Jin decided to let you get ready and wait for you in the living room. Once you were ready and saw him sitting on your couch waiting for him, you smiled. 

“Oppa~ You’re already here?”

“Of course. You look beautiful as ever. Oh and jagiya, I love how passionate you sang Epiphany. Definitely a 10 out of 10.”

Min Yoongi

It was late and you were waiting for your boyfriend to come back home. He usually stayed the entire day in his studio producing and composing songs, and only came back late at night. You didn't mind, that was his job and he loved it so you were to accept it. You knew what you got yourself into the first time he informed you of what he did. It had become a routine for you to wait for him to come home so both of you could sleep in the embrace of each other. You loved it and so did he.

Yoongi had informed that today he would come home slightly later than usual. You weren't sure what slightly later meant, but you had promised yourself you would stay up. You eventually started finding out that slightly later could mean a couple of hours since an hour had already passed from the normal time he usually got home. Even though you understood how passionate he was, you still got a bit sad when he wasn’t there to help you sleep. You were exhausted today, but you were just as stubborn as your boyfriend. You were going to stay up and wait for him. 

Another 30 minutes passed by and your eyes were starting to give up on you. Your own body was telling you that it was time to give it up. Not wanting to give it up just yet, you decided to grab your phone and go on Spotify.  

You found a playlist Yoongi had made for you and scrolled down. You always added their songs to the playlist and right now, all you wanted, was to listen to your boyfriends voice. You decided to put ‘Shadow’ on. You loved all the raw emotions that came through that song. That was the man you fell in love with. The one who was straightforward, direct and raw with his emotions. The song began as you rested your head on the pillow and closed you eyes, quietly singing and rapping along as a small smile curled your lips.

Yoongi was extremely exhausted when opened the door to the apartment. He had been working hard on BTS’ upcoming album, and it was draining all his energies. All he wanted now was to lay down and rest with you in his arms. 

“Y/N?” He asked quietly as he opened the door to your bedroom. 

With your eyes closed and your phone close to your ears, you didn’t notice Yoongi walking into the bedroom. 

“나의 도약은 추락이 될 수 있단 걸 이제야 알겠어 때론 도망이 차선이란 걸 pause”

It was your third time listening to the song on repeat, yet you never got tired of it. It was a work of art.

Yoongi on the other hand was had a tired smile on his face as he listened to you rap to his song. You were able to capture his heart every single day through a new way. 

“You’re so cute, you know that?” 

 With the sound of your boyfriend’s voice saying something that you were sure wasn’t part of the song, you opened your eyes. 

“Yoonie...”

“Shh. I’m here now. Close your eyes, princess.”

You smiled and nodded your head as you turn the music off, putting your phone on the nightstand. Yoongi was taking all his clothes off besides his underwear and after so, he laid down and wrapped his arms around you. He pulled you closer to him and placed a kiss on your forehead. 

“I have the day off tomorrow. Let’s enjoy it. Maybe I can listen to you rap a bit more to my songs.” 

You nodded and laid your head on his chest.

“Love you, Y/N. So much.

“I love you too, Yoonie. Goodnight.”

“Night baby.”

Jung Hoseok

The few that knew you would say you and Hoseok were equals. Both you and him were loud, full of energy and simple balls of sunshine. All of the members had admitted how much alike you two were and how cute it was. But the members weren’t the only ones loving it. You and Hoseok had made your relationship public for almost a year ago despite dating for almost 5. At first a couple of fans didn’t like it all, believing you weren’t right for him yet after countless V-lives and small videos of you and him interacting together, fans soon realized you were more alike their idol than what they thought. Now you had your own nickname inside the fandom and many were for your relationship and understood how happy you two were. 

It was just another normal day for you as you waited for Hoseok to come back home. He informed he was done earlier and later you and him could go out and have some fun out. You were excited and had dolled yourself up. You had made dinner for both of you, wanting to show your gratitude for how hard he worked for both of you while you stayed home and studied your ass off. 

It wasn’t long until you grabbed your phone and connected it to the speakers in the living room. You were so excited that you decided to play ‘Hope World’. You were so caught up on screaming the lyrics that you didn’t hear the front door opening or your boyfriend dancing through the hallway only to find you in the middle of the living room using your phone as a microphone while you sang along to his voice. His eyes lit up and a huge smile curled his lips. He could even cry at the moment as you screamed the lyrics to ‘Base Line’. He knew you were the one, but to see you with so much energy as you laughed and sang warmed his heart. He loved it.

“Baby. Baby! BABY!!” 

Only then did you hear the voice that belonged to the man you loved so much. You turn around and smiled before turning off the music. 

“Hoseok!!”

“Y/N!!”

“AAAHHH!!”

“AAAAAAHHH!!!!” 

Both of you laughed as Hoseok walked up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you off the ground and giving the both of you a spin.

“I missed you, sweetcheeks!”

“And I missed you too, my ball of sunshine!”

“I made sure to have the rest of today free so both me and you can spend all the time together.”

“Thank you, Hobi.”

“You don’t have to thank me. You do so much for me. I’m so glad to have you in my life, baby.”

“Me too, Hobi. You’re the best that happened to me. Now, let’s go have dinner! I made your favorite today!”

Park Jimin

Jimin had always been known for having problems with perfecting everything and no matter what, nothing was good enough for him. He always felt like his dancing could be even better, his singing more pleasant to listen to, his looks could somehow improve. He was too rough on himself even when everyone else around him told him that it was good, that he was good enough. Today was one of those days when Jimin was being too harsh on himself. You knew that not only because he hadn’t answered your texts like usual, but because Yoongi had sent you a text informing you of so. 

It had been exactly 5 hours since Jimin had left for the dance studio and you knew the dance practice had ended at least 2 or 3 hours ago. Since you hated when your boyfriend beat himself up, you had decided to pack a lunch and head to the agency and pay him a visit. 

You made sure to cook a bunch of his favorite dishes and also to stop by a cafe and buy his favorite drink. As his girlfriend, you knew how hard he worked and sometimes it truly concerned you.

Jimin was drenched in sweat as he graciously moved in front of the huge mirrors that covered the wall in front of him. He was completely exhausted and his vocal cords had also been failing him the last hour. He knew he was lacking. It was like a missing last piece from a puzzle that he had been searching for years.

Tired and completely worn out, Jimin laid down on the cold floor breathing heavily. He closed his eyes until he heard the door open. He immediately sat himself up, yet relaxed once he saw you walk through the door, smiling.

"How is the best boyfriend in the whole world doing? I brought you tons of food because I know you haven't ate. I won't take no for an answer so let's eat, Minie~"

Jimin laughed and nodded as he got up and walked over to you, pecking your cheek.

"Let me just go to the bathroom real quick then." He said before walking out.

You decided to start getting things ready and done so both of you could eat once Jimin got back. As you sat everything up, you started mumbling to one of your favorite songs.

About 2 minutes later, Jimin was about to walk through the door when heard you sing. He loved to hear you sing. It wasn't until he opened the door that he realized 'Serendipity' was the song you were singing.

"Just let me love you

Just let me love you

우주가 처음 생겨났을 때부터 모든 건 정해진 거였어

Just let me love you"

In that one second, it was like his heart completely stopped and he forgot how to breathe.

That was it. That was what he had been missing out. Not the singing, but somehow the approval and love and adoration your voice held as you sang his song. Like you accepted his flaws and mistakes, but still loved him as a whole.

It wasn't until you turn around and saw him staring at you with tears running down his cheeks that he realized he was crying.

"What's wrong!? Are you sick? Are you not feeling well?"

Jimin shook his head and wiped his tears away as he gave you his typical shining smile.

"Nothing's wrong. I just realized how much I truly love you. Keep singing, please."

You smiled back and nodded as you kept on setting everything up while you sang along to 'Serendipity' and eventually 'Lie'.

Kim Taehyung

You had always been a fan of BTS, ever since their first album came out. You just connected to them and were happy that you found their music. You first met Taehyung on the streets in New York. You hadn’t recognized him when he bumped into you with two drinks in hand. You had just moved there and were going crazy with everything that you hadn’t noticed all your school work was now on the ground in the busy streets of New York. You let out a sigh, but still apologized. And so did Taehyung. He thought you were extremely pretty, so while he helped you pick your now drenched school work, he grabbed a pen of yours and wrote his number in one of the papers. From there on, you and him became extremely closed. 

That was 6 years ago and both of you had now been dating for 4. It took the both of you two full years to get the courage and confess your feelings for each other, but ever since you did, you two were inseparable. You moved to Korea with him a year ago and were extremely happy with your decision, despite your parents opinions regarding the subject. 

You were now sitting in your boyfriend’s lap as both him and Jungkook played together. He loved having you in his arms as he played. It gave him all the confidence to win against the younger boy, he said. You knew that was just an excuse because he lost most of the times, but you didn’t mind it at all. You were more than happy to sit there. 

“Hey Y/N, you’re an army, right? Which one of our songs is your favorite? I say it’d definitely be Singularity, but Jimin here is so sure that is Tony Montana for some reason.” You heard Hoseok say as he sat next to you, Jimin following him.

“She’s always singing along to that song whenever she’s here! Jin-hyung agrees with me as well.”

“My favorite song?...Hm... Let’s see...”   

“Imagine your face  Say hello to me  Then all the bad days  They're nothing to me  With you” 

You sang as you rested your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder. At the sound of your voice and the lyrics of ‘Winter Bear’ coming out of your mouth, Taehyung smiled instantly. He dropped the controller he was holding and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing kisses on your cheek and neck. 

“My song is your favorite? Really?”

You nodded your head, giggling.

“Of course, baby. Didn’t you know that? I’m always singing this song at home.”

Taehyung shrugged, yet placed a last kiss to your cheek before he grabbed the controller again.

“AH!! I knew it!!” You heard Namjoon yell from the kitchen as Jimin and Hoseok, even Jin, puffed out. 

That day, Taehyung won against Jungkook who claimed he was going easy on his hyung. 

Jeon Jungkook

Jungkook had asked you out about two years ago, and despite being friends for over 10 years, the entire dating thing was all very new for the both of you. Even so, these two years had been full of love. You were both deeply in love with each other. 

Today was another day as he stayed in the house with you. He had come back from tour just yesterday and wanted to spend the days he had as off with you before he had to get back to work. You were both curled up in bed, snuggling close to each other before you heard your phone’s alarm go off. You had completely forgotten about it and to turn it off, yet once Jungkook heard his own voice come from your voice, a low and husky chuckle left his mouth. 

“You have my song as your alarm? You’re adorable.”

You turn around to face him and hug him, starting to whisper the lyrics of the song into his ear.  

“Oh, I will call ya, I will hol' ya  Oh I will  And yes you know, yes you know  Oh, I will call ya, I will touch ya  Oh, I will”

Without even blinking, Jungkook was now on top of you, grinning. He glared into your eyes, looking into your soul. In his eyes, you got more beautiful every single time he eyed you. From your hair, to your skin, to your eyes. Everything about you captivated him, how could he have waited 10 years to ask you out? In his eyes, you were perfect for him and no one could change his mind. And now you sang to his song with that sweet voice of yours. Those lyrics were usually just lyrics to him, but now it did something to him and he knew every time he sang that song in front of all Armys he’d remember how your breath hit his neck while you sang along, creating the perfect harmony. 

“Are you using my own lyrics against me, baby girl?”

You giggled and shrugged. “I have no idea of what you’re talking. I’m just singing along to my favorite song, baby boy.”

“You’re such a tease, Y/N.”

“Don’t like it, Kookie?”

“Oh baby, I love it.”

“Show me how much.” 

With that answer and after turning your alarm off, both you and Jungkook spend the rest of the morning in bed, all up on each other. 

[putschki1969]

KEIKO Avex Interview ~ English Translation

Note: This is a very long and icredibly insightful interview, I wanted to get it done as soon as possible so I worked my ass off XD Please enjoy. As always, take everything you read with a grain of salt, my Japanese is by no means perfect. If you want to use this translation or parts of it, be sure to CREDIT me and LINK to this post.

Former Kalafina Member KEIKO is debuting as solo artist and releasing her 1st Album 『Lantana』 which was a team effort

KEIKO's 1st solo album "Lantana" is being released on December 2nd. For ten years KEIKO was active as a member of the vocal group Kalafina produced by Yuki Kajiura, singing anime songs such as the theme song "Magia" for "Puella Magi Madoka Magica" and holding countless performances, among them a 2-day one man-live at Nippon Budokan. Since the group disbanded in 2019, attention has been focused on the members’ individual course of action, in April 2020 it was finally announced that KEIKO would be starting a long-awaited solo project. In May of this year her 1st single "Inochi no Hana/Be Yourself" was released digitally followed by her 2nd single "Ray/Hajimari wa" in July. Her first one-man-live was held at Shibuya CLUB QUATTRO in Tokyo in September. "Lantana" is the solo debut album released by KEIKO. It was made without really knowing what the outcome would be. What kind of thoughts and feelings went into the making of this album...?  KEIKO gave us a lot of insight and shared her thoughts.

I really don't know what KEIKO - The Solo Artist is seeking

── This year you had to deal with two major occurences, the launch of your solo project and the COVID-19 outbreak.

KEIKO: I was planning to announce my solo debut in April but that coincided with the government possibly declaring a state of emergency so I was really worried about how and when exactly to make my announcement without causing any trouble or discomfort for anyone. However, when we finally ended up making a very basic and simple announcement, there were many fans who said, "to be able to hear the news of KEIKO's solo debut in times like this is very uplifting” so that was a relief. And since my solo activities started in a time like this, I feel like a strong connection has been developed between my solo project and COVID-19 *laughs*.

── It’s not like you couldn’t do anything due to COVID-19, you just proceeded with the implementation of your solo project while keeping the virus in mind, you simply learned to live WITH the coronavirus.  

KEIKO: How do I best release KEIKO’s music? That question was constantly on my mind while watching how the world changed and things developed with the virus. It's a bit strange to say it like this, but I feel like corona has truly become my companion in the past year.

── In May, you first released two songs, "Inochi no Hana" and "Be Yourself," then in July you released "Ray" and "Hajimari wa". Furthermore, in September, you did a solo live at Shibuya CLUB QUATTRO in Tokyo. Have you gotten used to your solo activities in the last 9 months?

KEIKO: Not at all *laughs*.

── I guess you miss having Wakana and Hikaru by your side?

KEIKO: I just like having people around. In that respect, I think it’s nice that the current KEIKO solo project team feels comfortable enough to make music like we are doing a session together. We all have our allocated roles but we share those responsibilities among each other, and beyond that we also all share opinions. I feel at ease knowing that we have a dynamic where there is no single leader who decides everything. For 10 years, I've been in a team with the other Kalafina members Wakana and Hikaru, and of course our producer Yuki Kajiura-san. Naturally, the Kalafina team and my current team are very different but I am feeling supported by my current environment where everyone is creating things together.

── And this month you are releasing your first full album "Lantana" which was created together with that team. Four songs had already been recorded and released in advance but I wonder, was the recording of those songs taking place in order of their release? Did you just release them in advance as a sort of transition to your album which was set to come out in December.

KEIKO:  Our original plan changed quite a bit due to coronavirus. Initially, when I returned to the world of music, I was curious about all sorts of genres and wanted to try many new things. Back then we already started with the album production thinking that it would be our best option to bring our ideas to life, we felt it was best to just work on about a dozen songs while trying to figure out what I  wanted to do as KEIKO. However, because of things being how they were, I felt a bit sad not releasing anything until the album came out, so we all decided to release the four songs "Inochi no Hana", "Be Yourself", "Ray" and "Hajimari wa" in advance.

── Looking back at what you said when you first released your single, "Inochi no Hana/Be Yourself," back then you mentioned that you didn't really know what you wanted to do as the solo artist KEIKO.

KEIKO: That's right.

── That is a little strange. You are a talented singer with ten years worth of experience as a member of Kalafina. Also, Kalafina was a project helmed by Yuki Kajiura so when she left one would assume that you might have felt the desire to express yourself, no? 

KEIKO: I was quite surprised that I didn’t *laughs*. I often asked myself "why is that?", I realised that I was just so fascinated by Kajiura-san's music. I really enjoyed singing Kalafina's music because it was created by Kajiura-san. I would have honestly been happy continuing to do this forever. 

── But at that point you weren’t feeling too well health-wise so you made the decision to take a break. 

KEIKO: I realise this now but I wonder if this gave me the opportunity to reflect on my past and myself in order to be able to try new things. If I hadn't taken the time off, I probably wouldn't have ever started seeking "my own music."

── It’s quite interesting that this album contains the track "Nanairo no Finale" which was composed by Yuki Kajiura whose work you so very much adore and admire but the album doesn’t end with that, there is so much more to be found within. When the release of the album was announced, you commented, "I wonder if this became a work that’s filled with many pieces of myself, there is a strong sense of individuality".

KEIKO: Hahaha *laughs*.

── And in fact, the other nine songs are not even remotely close to Yuki Kajiura’s music.

KEIKO: When I was choosing the songs I was also asking my producer for advice, he would often suggest, “it would be interesting if you tried singing that!” This is pretty much how the album came to be *laughs*. I kept listening to samples and found myself becoming curious, "it’s not the type of song I would usually sing but what if I gave it a try?" So yeah, one by one I felt like I was systematically working my way through all different sorts of songs. There was a lot of trial and error *laughs*. But this kind of experimenting was interesting. At the demo stage, the songs were quite minimal and simple but once they had been arranged they turned into something bigger, there were a lot more notes and the vibe for each song changed steadily. In that way, I feel like all the staff members, the composers, and myself created this album together..

── So even though this is "KEIKO's solo debut album" you were not really taking the lead?

KEIKO: That’s because I don’t know who KEIKO is *laughs*.  What kind of music suits KEIKO ~ The Solo Artist? I am very much certain of the things that Kalafina's Keiko is seeking but I really don't know what KEIKO as a solo artist is looking for. There are so many things I don’t know or understand so we all just listen to the demo tapes and if someone in my team thinks one of the songs is “good” I will just give it a try. It’s this sort of project *laughs*.

── I guess that's why I was so surprised by the first songs you released back in May. It was easy to imagine KEIKO singing a really "nice ballad" like "Inochi no Hana" BUT to hear you sing a sharp and straight-up guitar rock piece like "Be Yourself" was really unexpected? 

KEIKO: Kajiura-san was also surprised, and to be honest I was quite surprised myself *laughs*. Am I really singing this !?"

── Since this is KEIKO's solo project, you may decide whether you want to sing something or not.

KEIKO: But I have decided that there is no such thing as a no-go when it comes to my solo activities. I will say yes to any suggestion.

── So you completely trust your current KEIKO team?

KEIKO: That's right.

── But you haven’t been together with them for a long time ...

KEIKO: No, I really haven’t *laughs*. I think I met everyone last year. But time doesn't really matter. All the staff members around me have a great attitude, they love music, they want to make good music and they like that I am singing so I really don’t have to worry about anything. When they say something is good I trust them and just try to enjoy singing.

── When I listened to the songs that were released in advance, I felt like "they sound cool, but why is KEIKO choosing to sing these songs?" During your time in Kalafina you were in charge of the lower registers but looking at  "Be Yourself" for example..?.

KEIKO: The key is very high *laughs*..

── Yes *laughs*. Then, when "Ray" and "Hajimari wa" were released in July, I was surprised by the laid-back nature of the songs, like dance music?

KEIKO: Kalafina's songs definitely have a different sense of speed compared to "Inochi no Hana" and "Be Yourself".

── I wondered if the other songs of "Lantana" would simply be extensions of the four songs that had already been released, just with a slightly different vibe but then I ended up being super surprised, “oh, she has been hiding an ace up her sleeve!”

KEIKO: Haha, a funny figure of speech *laughs* Which song was it that you liked that much?

── It was Tameiki no Kieru Machi. I pretty much said to myself, "wow, she really hid that amazing and stylish city pop card up her sleeve!" *laughs*.

KEIKO: The vibe and beat are similar to "Hajimari wa" and I was working on both songs around the same time so at first we thought it would be best to only include one of those two in the album but then when I sang them and got to experience the final result, I realised that the vocal style is completely different for each song. So we decided to include both in the album. It’s a lot of fun to talk about this in our interview. Right now I love going around and asking everyone who has listened to the album, “what’s your favourite song?” There is a lot of variety in this album so everyone will have to decide for themselves what they feel like listening to at the moment *laughs*. In some sense this album is a very personal experience. To put it in other words, I think it's an album where everyone can search for the songs that they relate to most, you should pick the songs that you feel like listening to.

Regarding the most "challenging" song on the album ...?

── How about you? Any particular feelings you relate to those ten songs in regards to why you initially chose them?

KEIKO: No, not really. I've noticed since the beginning of this project that I'm the type that pays a lot more attention to the overall sound of the melodies and arrangements.

── So for example, when you receive a demo tape, do you focus on the individual instruments and such?

KEIKO: Yes. And since the human voice is more persuasive and compelling than any other instrument, I try to only listen to early-stage demo tapes that do not have any vocals yet. Because if I listen to vocal samples my own singing will inevitably be influenced by that. I prefer demo tapes where I can just listen to the melody, while enjoying the music and ensemble of instruments I can get a feel for the texture of the song, then I start wondering "where would my voice fit nicely in this sort arrangement?” Once I have figured that out I can proceed with the recording. By the time we had reached pre-production, I was quite confident in my singing skills but I was still making the one or the other timid suggestion, “how is this singing style, do you think I can pull it off?” or  "I think it will sound good if we try it like this" *laughs*. When my ideas were well received we would continue from that point onwards, this album was literally made on the basis of discussions like that.

── It's amazing, isn't it? It seems like you, the staff members and all the composers all have the exact same aesthetic ideas and values ​​in mind when it comes to creating KEIKO’s solo work. 

KEIKO: Right! *laughs*. That's why it's so much fun right now. The songs on this album are all types of songs I've never sung before, it's a little scary to tread unfamiliar ground like that but on the other hand, it's super exciting. Yes, I'm scared but I have the courage and will to try it because I have supportive and reliable people around me. I am basically an amateur. While I'm not a newcomer per se I am currently trying something I've never done before so I feel like a newcomer. If this were a project led by me alone, I would definitely hesitate to go out and try new things but because everyone is there for me I can do it. This album was truly an indulgence, I was able to try out all kinds of things. By listening to this album, I think everyone (including myself) can find out what they want from KEIKO, the solo singer. Then in my next work I might slightly narrow down the genre but in that genre I will hopefully be able to expand my world views. Either way, I hope you all enjoy my album “Lantana”, the first proper step as solo singer KEIKO.

── By the way, what song did you see as your "biggest challenge"?

KEIKO: That must have been “Hajimari wa” I guess?

── Because it is hip-hop.

KEIKO: Figuring out a singing style was ...

── It's very lovely though.

KEIKO: Thank you *laughs*. Also, the same is true for the first verse of "Ray" which was released together with "Hajimari wa", that was quite difficult too. My singing style was just so completely different so I didn’t know how people would receive it. Should I do it, should I not do it? It was a great challenge because I was releasing it with the feeling of "okay, it’s out there now, I can’t take it back, let’s see what happens." I didn’t know at all what to expect.

── Also, among the songs included in "Lantana", "End Roll" and "Change The World's Color" are very far removed from the image of "Kalafina’s Keiko".

KEIKO: They are full of emotion and passion *laughs*.

── I knew that you would be capable of singing any sort of song but I was still surprised that you would make such a song your own!

KEIKO: These two songs were recorded for the album after the live performance at Shibuya CLUB QUATTRO in September. I had already recorded "Be Yourself", so I didn't intend to include any more up-beat songs. I was initially planning to make a more mature album with slow to mid-tempo songs. But once again those plans changed due to coronavirus. When we first had the idea to do a live stream concert in September we knew that we had to increase the number of u-tempo songs in order to get everyone excited during the performance. These are two songs that wouldn't have been possible if it hadn’t been for COVID-19 and the resulting opportunity to do a live stream.

── I guess one could say that "Lantana" is not only “KEIKO's 1st solo album”, it is also “the album documenting the state of 2020".

KEIKO: Yes, I think we really did make such an album. It is being released in December ... the time when you reflect on the past year. We have all had a hard time this year but there are also some good things that came out of this horrible situation. Taking the events of the world into account I wanted to make music that encapsulates all those feelings. At least I was hoping to do that.

── These songs were born out of a state of emergency. Starting from your first song "Be Yourself" up until the sixth song "Ray", all of them seem to gently provide support for someone in need ...

KEIKO: There are quite many songs filled with warmth and kindness.

── And the second half of the album is filled with energetic pieces such as "End Roll" and "Change The World's Color". So I was wondering if you were maybe planning to make a conceptual album to deal with this year's situation? 

KEIKO: Rather the opposite actually. I was initially planning to create dark music that reflected the current situation but I felt a little uncomfortable singing depressing songs. I felt that the music I was looking for this year wouldn’t correspond with the music everyone else wanted to hear. I think a lot of people are looking for songs that are positive and hopeful. So I made that my mission and tried to stick to this idea as best as possible, I think the result is doing justice to that.

── While being at the mercy of the times your songs turned out to be rich in variety. It's really amazing that you were able to make such a high-quality J-POP album.

KEIKO: But I was truly at the mercy of the situation, I just went with the flow *laughs*.

── If so, I feel like this album has become a vehicle to ride KEIKO’s wave.

KEIKO: I wonder if I can handle this sort of vehicle *laughs*. I feel like I was inspired to finish the album by the feedback I received from fans after my live performance in September, the fact that I was finally able to get back to work and all the staff members around me. It was a dive into the unknown, the album was created in close relation to the current situation and with a lot of input from my staff. This time I really relied on the strength of everyone so now I feel a little pressure that I have to challenge myself and make more intentional music in the future *laughs*

── The most prominent presence among “everyone” you have been relying on is without a doubt the composer of the second track on your album, "Nanairo no Finale"....

KEIKO: Kajiura-san *laughs*.

── You mentioned earlier that you wouldn’t say no to any song suggestion by your staff members but am I right in assuming that this song was your request?

KEIKO: I made a heartfelt appeal *laughs*. It’s been forever since the last time I worked together with her for a solo project...it must have been back in 2005 when I sang a song for the anime "Tsubasa Chronicle" as FictionJunction KEIKO. Because it had been such a long time it took quite a while to figure out the lyrics and the perfect singing style.

── What was your impression when you received the demo tape from Kajiura-san?

KEIKO: It sounded so very much like Kajiura-san! *laughs*

── Each paragraph in the lyrics card has a different amount of characters and number of lines so you can clearly tell that the melody has a non-repetitive structure with the exception of the “mirai he” section. Starting from the “mirai he” phrase various melodies are flowing back and forth *laughs*. 

KEIKO: When I talked to Kajiura-san, she told me that she was utterly shocked to hear “Be Yourself” but in a good way, she said that she had always known I would be able to sing like that. Soon after I received a demo-tape with a note saying, “I wanted to write an up-tempo track like that for Keiko-chan too!” *laughs*. When I listened to the melody, I felt that it had a very positive vibe, it seemed to be filled with light and thoughts towards the future. I wanted to sing it as soon as possible but after receiving the demo-tape from Kajiura-san I found out that I was supposed to write the lyrics for the song *laughs*. I already was under a lot of pressure because I was singing one of Kajiura-san's songs all by myself for the first time in 15 years and then they wanted me to write the lyrics too! Needless to say, I was quite overwhelmed.

── Moreover, Nobuyuki Shimizu's arrangement doesn’t sound at all like it’s coming from him. The synth, the guitar solo, they are as smooth as Kajiura’s melody but there is some sort of craziness in the arrangement *laughs*

KEIKO: Oh, that's entirely my own fault *laughs*. I asked Nobuyuki-san to add a few catchy American pop elements to Kajiura-san's melody. I wondered what kind of chemical reaction would occur if such an arrangement overlapped with Kajiura-san's unique melody? 

── And then of course there are the lyrics which you wrote yourself. 

KEIKO: I wrote lyrics for the first time for my solo debut song "Inochi no Hana", “Nanairo no Finale” was only my second try, so naturally I was quite frantic *laughs*. I was searching for words that matched the sceneries conveyed in the demo-tape and wrote them down whenever I discovered something new. However, when I was writing the lyrics, I heard a lot of news regarding the Olympic Games next year. Even though no one can tell whether the Olympic Games will really be held in Tokyo next year I saw all the athletes who were still working hard. That inspired me and I suddenly knew that this was what I wanted to capture in my lyrics, my words were born out of the idea, "I don't want to lose hope, I want to keep on moving forward despite any hurdles."

Regarding the meaning of the album title "Lantana" ...?

── What's more interesting is that KEIKO's feelings seem to be conveyed by the other writers of your album too. Even though various lyricists are participating, the word "light" appears in "Be Yourself" and "Nanairo no Finale", in "Akane" you are singing about the sunrise and sunset. And "Ray" quite literally refers to a ray of sunshine. 

KEIKO: It’s true! I only now realised that! *laughs*

── So it is a coincidence? 

KEIKO: That's right. Listening to you making all these comparisons almost brought tears to my eyes though, "it's really romantic" if you think about it *laughs*. It seems like everyone involved in the making of the album had the same vision... 

── It's really nice to read your delicate lyrics, the writing seems to be quite unique to you. As expected from someone who has learned so much from Yuki Kajiura. 

KEIKO: Do you really think so? *laughs* I love the sound of Kajiura-san's words and the way so much is left to the imagination in her lyrics, I guess some of that is reflected in my own lyrics. 

── Yuki Kajiura is the type of person who can make everything work, she even uses coined words, so I am not saying that you are just like her. But you are spinning words in a similar manner with a focus on "Boku/I" and "Kimi/You", you manage to convey your message without straight-up using words like "do your best". 

KEIKO: I guess I also left some stuff open to imagination? However, that's because I've only written three songs so far, that’s literally the only thing I can do right now, leave everything open because I don’t know how to phrase things properly 

── As you continue your career as a lyricist, will you eventually start singing something like "I am against war!"? 

KEIKO: Maybe *laughs*. I'm really trying my best to put my whole heart into the lyrics. 

── I really love the third track on the album, Yūgao.

KEIKO: I recorded this song at the very end. After finishing "End Roll" and "Change The World's Color", I was asked "oh, I wonder if we should add one more song?". From the very beginning of the album production, I wanted to include a small and minimalistic song...Something I could listen to while closing my eyes and falling asleep when my heart got tired. That’s how this song came to be. 

── It really feels like falling asleep. And there is a high degree of abstraction in the lyrics. Is it all a dream? Is it real? Is the main character of this song even alive?Or maybe dead? 

KEIKO: Many people have wondered about that *laughs*. The child in this song is alive! Just very sleepy! [Note: I was actually wondering about that too. I also didn’t know from whose persepective the song was being told, for a while I thought it was actually about two lovers but now Keiko confirmed that it’s from the point of view of a child. I was leaning towards that but wasn’t 100% sure]

── But while dreaming, the child sings about life and death. 

KEIKO: I wanted to convey the feeling of being drowsy while you are on the brink of sleep, you know, that feeling of floating, so I thought that singing aloud real and meaningful words like that would make listeners tired. I was aiming to make my singing sound relaxing, a barely there song. With the image of a narrator in mind, I was singing as if I was telling a story. 

── I also wanted to ask about your vocal style in this album. Your singing is completely different for each song because there is so much variety among the tracks. 

KEIKO: That was a lot fun. As I mentioned earlier, I first listen to the demo, find a tone or voice that suits the song, and then bring my ideas to the studio asking everyone how they feel about it. When I started working as a member of Kalafina, I was way too busy to express my own opinions most of the time. But now, thanks to the coronavirus, I guess you could say that we had plenty of time to find a singing style that would suit each song. 

── How do you find that voice? Do you listen to demos, read lyrics or search for people who have sung similar words for a similar melody in the past?

KEIKO: I simply prioritise the comfort of the sound. Which singing style has a pleasant sound and manages to make the melody and arrangement sound even more pleasant? In the case of "Hajimari wa" or "Tameiki no Kieru Machi", if you use an overly cheesy or emotional singing style it won’t be any good. These are the kind of thoughts that went through my head while trying to find the perfect voca style. Ever since my time in Kalafina I've been searching for the most suitable singing style for the melody so I will continue searching for a vocal style based on how my voice resonates with the song. 

── That's why every song has a very nice voice temperature. Even a song with an emotional and passionate arrangement like "Change The World's Color" doesn't feel overly hot. The lyrics in the chorus sound particularly cool, almost as if you were harmonising with yourself. 

KEIKO: I'm glad *laughs*. I've been singing alongside two other people for the past ten years so after I made my solo debut, I felt like I had to somehow reconstruct that vocal style even if I am singing alone. I would be happy if I at least somehow managed to make it sound like that. 

── I guess it’s because you are a graduate from "Kajiura School" and "Kalafina School"  but the chorus work is also very interesting. 

KEIKO: I guess? Kajiura-san's method of creating harmonies in Kalafina was unique ... Even if my voice collided with those of the other two members, it still always managed to sound unique and interesting. We never aimed for a standard J-POP-like harmony where everyone is singing exactly a third above or below the melody . But in my solo project, I'm trying to create those J-POP harmonies. It was my producer's idea. I was surprised when I heard my recording for the first time, “so this is what it sounds like when you harmonise by singing in thirds."

── The second part of "Be Yourself" for example, it’s basically all made up of harmonies with the exception of a single phrase that cuts through the chorus and stands out ... 

KEIKO: Once again it was my producer's idea. I really love Hikaru Utada's chorus work ... [Note: Keiko’s producer Haruo Yoda is known for producing Hikaru Utada]

── I don’t think there is anyone as charming as Utada-san  with her unique chorus work while still managing to fit the J-POP format. 

KEIKO: That’s right *laughs*. I like her use of chorus work, how she adds harmonies only in selected parts of a song. So I'm really happy if my style is similar to hers. 

── So even though you didn’t really intend for it to be this way, you are very happy he suggested that kind of style?

KEIKO: Yes, that's why I think our team is so amazing. We all share the same vision, so if I leave something up to them, I can rest assured that they will make something Ilike. 

── This album also includes an acoustic version of "Akane" as a bonus track, but why try to remove the drums, guitar and bass from the original version? 

KEIKO: Because I like it that way! *laughs* 

── I see *laughs*

KEIKO: I really like the strings arrangement by Kosuke Oshima who composed and arranged the song so I thought it would be a waste if no one got to hear it properly. He was using many different live strings for the recording so I really wanted to hear a version of only the strings and my vocals. I kept saying that during every take we did until we finally decided, "yes, let's add it to the album." 

── It's true, recording with live strings feels so much more fulfilling and the resulting sound is incredibly rich, so I understand you would want everyone to get the full experience. 

KEIKO: Moreover, when we made a version with only strings, I experienced that the strings became more dramatic and passionate than the original version, so I really want you to feel that heat. 

── I see. …… Ah, I just realised, I forgot to ask this in the beginning, what is the origin of the album title? 

KEIKO: Yes, that should probably have been discussed in the beginning *laughs*. 

── "Lantana" is a plant with small flowers that come in many different colours, right?  

KEIKO: That's right. One of the staff members suggested the name during a meeting and I immediately decided I wanted to use it.

── It's a solo project but you seem to be adamant to make it a team project *laughs*.

KEIKO: I know that my vocabulary is very limited *laughs* We are all aware that if I sing a song it will eventually become my own even if it was made through team effort. And everyone is okay with that. I think that is the privilege of a singer and vocalist like me. In the case of a singer-songwriter, you are basically just singing your own stuff but as a vocalist like myself you can enter the world of various creators and be inspired by them. I think it's a very indulgent thing. That's why I want to participate as a singer and vocalist in the meetings where the album title was decided. I want to create the best thing possible by knowing the opinions and feelings of everyone involved. "Lantana" seemed like such a great match in the sense that it was an album made with a lot of variety. Plus, the literal translation of the Japanese name is “seven changes” so that applied to the album as well. Also, I just really like the ring of the name. When we decided on which letters of the alphabet to use I wanted to make sure that the title was spelled with an “L” and not an “R” *laughs* . 

── Do you like L better than R? 

KEIKO: I simply wanted that to be the case with the word "Lantana". There is nothing more to the story *laughs*. I wanted “ランタナ/ra n ta na” to start with an L 

── In a sense, it's the same as your lyric writing. You are pursuing the best possible sound. 

KEIKO: Music like every form of entertainment is something you should be able to enjoy with all five senses. I want to find a balance where people can feel comfortable, be it the lyrics or an album title ... I think this wish of mine comes across in many aspects of my activities. Moreover, I was just super happy that everyone was agreeing on the album title. The meeting ended in an instant *laughs*. The moment the title ​​"Lantana" was suggested, everyone was smitten and no one could imagine a more fitting name..

[mrsdobrik]

I just started reading My Name is Jeff. It is so good and interesting. The bet scared me. Can I make a request for when you and David are just casually dating with you being reluctant to make it official cause you’re not thaT sure of his feelings for you but you want to be with him. And you get asked out by some hot famous dude, like Harry styles, and you tell David and he freaks out?

Hey love!! Thank you!! I’m glad to know you are enjoying the series!! I love bringing Harry into this, ohh to be Y/n 🤣🤣🤣. Enjoy!!

The studio lights were bright and the air reeked of hairspray. Y/n felt at home amongst the chaotic scene. Being a photographer had been her dream since the first time she had even touched a camera. Her finger pressed the clicker a few more times, blinding flashes of light shooting as well. “That’s a wrap!” She yelled into the air and the whole team started clapping. 

After packing her equipment she walked through the door to find a familiar tesla parked out front. A handsome brown haired guy was leaning on the car, a bag of chipotle in his hand. 

“You know me so well.” Y/n swooned. “This is so much better than flowers.” She leaned in to kiss him, his hands quickly finding her waist. 

“Well, I’ve noticed you have a tendency to go on 8hr shoots on an empty stomach and then you get so caught up in the work that you completely forget to eat.” David scolded playfully.

“And yet by doing so I give you a chance to win my heart by bringing me food, so you should be happy about it. I’ll make sure to properly thank you when we get back to my place.” Y/n winked at him. 

“I thought we would be going to my place.” David commented.

“Yeah, but then you said your have roommates and that your place is always full of people” Y/n said rolling her eyes. 

“Well, yeah, but we’ve been going out for a while, I thought maybe I could introduce you to some of my friends.” David replied, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. 

Y/n went silent for a moment. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to make it official, it wasn’t that she didn’t like David, in fact she was pretty sure that she was falling for the lovely Slovak boy who took her on the most romantic dates and with whom she could talk for hours, it was more of the memories of her past relationships that were stopping her. She had loved and lost the pain of that loss was proving to last much longer than the love she felt for that person. When that happened she promised herself she wouldn’t get emotionally invested till she felt sure the other person was fully ready for that too. 

“I don’t... think I’m ready for that yet” She muttered. “I’m sorry.”

David felt disappointed by her response but he never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable. “Hey, don’t worry. There’s no rush, right? We have all the time in the world.” He pulled her close once more and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. 

... 

A few weeks later Y/n and David found themselves at the entrance of a lavish L.A mansion that was filled to the brim with all kinds of celebrities. From models to actors, singers and everything in between every inch of the floor was taken by people dancing, drinking and having fun. Y/n took David’s hand in his leading him to the dancefloor, they moved to the rhythm of the music till their skins were glistening with sweat. 

“I’m going to get us something to drink” David yelled in Y/n’s ear so she could listen above the drum-shattering music. Y/n nodded and soon enough David disappeared in the sea of people. 

“Hello love!” A familiar voice whispered in her ear. “You’re looking stunning as ever.” Y/n turned around and gave him a hug. 

“You are not looking  too bad yourself Mr. Styles” she teased. She had met Harry about two years ago, he was the subject of her first ever Vanity Fair cover. Once the pictures came out she was surprised to hear back from the singer, turns out he had loved his work and wanted to work with her on his next album cover. After that they had kept in touch, working together when they got a chance and just keeping up with the other. 

“What are you doing here? Are you the same girl who a year back refused to come to my Grammy’s after party because she felt like she would be out of place?” He laughed. 

“That was, not my brightest moment, I’ll admit. I was going through a pretty nasty break up at the time and...” She shrugged

“I’m sorry, love” he said. “So is it safe to say you are over it?” 

“One hundred percent” Y/n smiled at him. 

“Well, then maybe I can finally ask you out on a proper date.” Harry winked playfully. 

“I’m sorry, but someone beat you to it. You’ll have to wait till the next break up” Y/n teased back. 

“Well, in that case you have to promise you’ll give me a call if the new guy fucks up” 

“You’ll be the first to know.” She pledged with a hand to her heart. 

“Well love, I have to get going but I’ll see you around.” Harry said and the hugged each other goodbye. As they broke the embrace she saw David walking back towards her with a glass in each hand. 

“Was that Harry Styles?” He asked, confused. 

“Oh, yeah. I’ve known him for a couple years. I did his last album cover.” She explained casually. 

“Well, what did he want?” David tensed up. 

“I think he just wanted to... ask me out” Y/n laughed with a shrug. 

“Ohh, wow. Well, I...” David stuttered, looking gloomy. 

“What’s wrong?” Y/n asked confused. 

“I well, I get it... it’s just... I’ve been meaning to ask you...” He was tripping over his own words. Y/n took his hand and pulled him to the outside of the party. Once they got somewhere quiet, where the music was only a murmur she spoke.

“Okay, shoot” 

“It’s just, I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend, you know, make it official. But then you said you weren’t ready to meet my friends... I just thought it was a matter of time you know, that we would get there eventually. But now... I mean I get why you would say yes, the guy is very good looking and talented and... I... I fell in love with you and now I’m going to lose you” He sighed.

“David...” Y/n started but was quickly cut off.

“It’s okay. Y/n, honestly. I just want you to be happy.” 

“DAVID!” She exclaimed. Once he looked up at her she proceeded. “I said no.” She smiled. 

“What?” He smiled, puzzled. 

“I said no. I mean Harry is extremely sexy and I promised I would call him if you ever fucked up but... I said I wasn’t ready to meet your friends because I was scared not because I didn’t like you. My... my last relationship ended badly... I could feel myself falling for you and I got scared, I just thought... maybe if I kept my distance I could keep myself from falling and that way if you decided to leave I wouldn’t get hurt.” She said feeling a sting in the back of her eyes. 

“Y/n you should have told me, I would have understood. But, trust me, you won’t have that problem with me. I thought I was so transparent, I’m so in love with you.”

Y/n just smiled at him and pulled him in for a kiss. “Well, maybe after tonight we can go to your place and I can finally meet your roommates”. 

“Right now I think the privacy of your house might be a better option for what I want to do after this party.” He said suggestively. 

“David Dobrik, you pig!” She laughed giving him a playful shove.

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter twenty-one: misery loves company

"another fan's appreciation, a do-be, don't-be situation. drag me down into your hatred." -"misery loves company", anthrax

“Thank you again, Marla.”

Sam, Zelda, Alex, and Chuck had landed in Syracuse at around nine thirty at night. And, once they had landed and after a swift phone call to the apartment in Hell's Kitchen, Marla drove up for a ride over to Joey's place. For all Sam knew, he had barricaded himself into his place and thus she asked Marla to bring some more things along with her all the while: her old journal stayed put in that red courier bag over her shoulder. If Joey would at the very least let them in, she knew that the work of her pens and her pencils would perhaps help him.

Once Marla bounded into the airport parking lot, and she pulled up to the curb of which the four of them congregated at in anticipation of her, Sam was quick to catch her there at the driver's seat first: she kept her hair that bright neon green except this time around she ridded of the black stripe so she had a solid helmet of rich ferocious green hair that they saw from clear across the parking lot.

“You got those books?” Sam asked her once the three of them had piled into the back of her car.

“Right in the back seat!” Marla announced with a quick gesture behind her.

“Yeah, there's a li'l stack of books here—right here on the floor,” Chuck told her; once she put her courier bag in the trunk, Sam rounded the front of the car back to the passenger seat.

“Those are the books I got from the house in Elsinore,” she told him. “Next to my art, they were the only things that kept me sane. I have no doubt those books will help him recover and keep him company in this hard time for him.”

She strapped in and Marla lifted the parking brake, and they proceeded away from the curb and into the rest of the lot. Despite the glow from North Syracuse, the darkness met them there at the driveway and all the way into the woods outside there. The memory of her and Joey having driven up to North Syracuse felt so fresh in mind: it wasn't that long ago he took her to the edge of the lake and then he showed her some hockey moves, complete with a round on the ice.

She kept her hand up on the “oh, shit” handle over her head all the way out from that city's edge.

“I'm also glad you two guys and Zelda came with her,” Marla said at one point, and with a glimpse into the rear view mirror.

“Well, as Alex said—Joey's going to need all the support he can get,” Chuck told her.

“I was coming back East anyway,” Zelda added, “back to Providence once all is said and done here.”

“Tour's cancelled, I assume?” Marla asked her with another glimpse into the mirror.

“Yeah, pretty much. My hope is that we can pick up where we left off again soon enough. The four of us are fine and good to go—like we'll tour with David Bowie or with Springsteen, as long as it gets us going again.” Zelda paused for a moment. “We were doing great, too!”

“New album,” Sam said in a soft voice.

“Marla can't know the full truth about it as of yet,” Zelda pointed out; she had leaned forward to the back of the seat to better say that to her.

“Oh, right, right, right.”

“I didn't even hear you anyways,” Marla said with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Anyways, but yeah! We were just killing it lately. More so than when we toured with them and these two birds on either side of me here. I have no clue what's gonna happen to Anthrax now.”

“They're gonna need a new singer, for one thing,” Chuck told her. “Who that's gonna be is another question all together.”

“Somebody who isn't Joey,” Sam declared.

“Yeah, it's not gonna be the same without him,” Alex agreed with her. “He gave them that dissonance that makes them stand out. His high voice held in junction to their hard and fast music.”

“He also gives them their heart, too,” she continued, “like when they were just a quartet and he was playing guitar, they had a lot more heart than when Scott was with them the first time around.”

“Yeah, they did,” Marla said with a glimpse over to her. “They really genuinely did. Like they had a certain warmth to them. Like a kindness of sorts.”

They fell back into silence and Marla took the next exit off to that familiar neighborhood, the street with the right turn across from the art shop, buttoned up for the night. The apartment complex stood dark and lifeless against the inky black sky overhead.

Sam reached his front door first and knocked on the panel.

“Joey?” she called through the wood as Chuck stood behind her.

Silence on the other side. The kitchen light was on, as well as the living room light. But it felt as though nobody was home.

“Try the knob,” Chuck advised her, and she turned it to the side. The door swung open.

There on the living floor, stretched out flat on his back, was Joey. His jet black curls had spread over part of his face while his arms were stretched out on either side of him. He looked as though he had fainted: through his curls, Sam made out the sight of his eyes pinched shut. His otherwise brown skin had washed out to the point it was more pale than the four walls that surrounded them.

To think that she held him in her arms only a month before. To think that she had come so close to him before that point. To think that he confessed his love to her and kicked that other woman away from him.

Sam lunged for him.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion from that point onward. She was about to clasp her hands to the sides of his face when something stopped her.

Or someone.

“Sam, look!” Chuck pointed out.

She glanced down at Joey's outstretched right arm. The syringe on the floor, filled with something gray and liquid, and for all she knew fatal.

“Joey!” Zelda shouted from behind them.

“JOEY!” Sam never yelled so loud in her life as she crouched down on the other side of him.

“Oh, god,” Zelda groaned. “Oh, god. Oh, god, oh god oh god oh god oh shit—oh hell no.”

“Oh, fucking hell,” Chuck said as she ran his fingers through his hair. “Sweet Jesus don't let it be true.”

Marla and Alex skidded into the apartment.

Joey groaned in his throat and Sam and Chuck gasped.

“Joey?” she whispered to him. Chuck crouched down next to her. Marla and Alex loomed right behind them.

“What's—what's all the yelling?” Joey grunted out through gritted teeth.

“Oh, thank god,” Alex declared in a broken voice.

“What's going on?” Joey rolled his head over so his hair streamed off of his face. Sam looked over to the couch to find an empty beer right bottle next to the base.

Using a tissue, Zelda picked up the syringe from the carpet and she tossed it into the garbage can in the kitchen; Sam and Marla took another look at his arm to find that he had not made a single puncture.

The point of the needle had missed the vein by about a hair's breadth. Had he not been drunk, he would've made the lethal injection. Being drunk literally saved him.

Marla and Zelda lifted him off of the floor and propped him into an upright position, with his back right up against the front of the couch. He bowed his head and his jet black curls tousled around his shoulders and his chest. Tearful, Sam lunged forward and lifted his head for a better look into his eyes: those soft brown irises had given way to bloodshot terror. The beautiful sun kissed Indian boy she had fallen in love with had the angel of darkness looming over him right at that very moment.

“Joey,” she pled into his face, “Joey, can you hear me?”

“I do,” he said as he closed his eyes. His dark lips, once smooth like chocolate, never looked so dry and chapped from the lack of liquids.

“Dude, why do you have to do this to yourself?” Alex demanded, mortified.

“I just feel like I have to,” Joey confessed in a broken voice: all the while, he barely moved his lips.

“We enjoy a couple of beers once in a while, but it's once in a while, though,” Chuck pointed out.

“Joey, I could've lost you!” Sam declared as she could feel the tears coming on.

“I've only had one drink,” he told them; indeed, he didn't smell alcohol at all, but rather like he had been asleep for hours on end. “I just—don't want to be awake anymore. I want to sleep. I can't sleep. I want to sleep.”

A single tear fell down Sam's cheek at the sound of that.

“Joey, listen to me,” she begged him. “You and I were getting so close to each other in my bed—in my bed! Back at my mom's house! Make no mistake, I was about to go all the way with you. I'll go with you all the way right now if you want.”

“Sam, please,” he said as his eyes drooped shut, “I'm not in the mood right now.”

“Joey—please—listen to me. You don't need to pollute your body like this—you have to heal—you have a beautiful body and you mustn't do this sort of thing to it.”

“I deserved it, though,” he breathed out; she could hear tears in his voice.

“No! No you didn't! You didn't deserve any part of it, Joey!”

She began crying right there, right in front of him. She pushed the hair out of his bloodshot eyes once again.

“I want to heal you—I want to make art of your beautiful body and show the world of what I see in you. All the love I feel, away from the horrors of which you do to yourself.”

She brought her lips to his, to that dry and cracked skin and she could feel the pains in his heart all the while. She held her hands on either side of his face to better feel his skin.

“I love you, Joey,” she begged right into his gaping mouth. “I love you—I love you, Cliff—”

“What?” he asked her.

“I love you, Joey,” she repeated in a near whisper.

“I thought that's what you said,” he breathed back to her.

“What else would it be?” she asked him and she could feel her eyes burning with tears. She ran her fingers through his inky black hair for a better look into his face, so sick and pale; and she took a glance down at his body, so thin and emeciated.

“When's the last time you ate?” Chuck asked him in a gentle voice, to which Joey shrugged and he closed his eyes again. Chuck turned back to Zelda, Marla, and Alex right behind them.

“One of you go into the kitchen and get him something—he's probably famished to high heaven right now.”

“No,” Joey begged them.

“No?” Sam demanded as she brushed a tear from her eye.

“You look like you're about ready to pass out,” Alex chimed in.

“Why the hell is he here,” Joey sputtered, and his speech slurred a bit.

“Alex came along because he wanted to help you!” Sam exclaimed. “Chuck and Zelda did, too!”

“I don't need help,” he croaked. “I don't need an Eskimo again.”

“Yes, you do! Yes, you do, Joey! You got fired and now look at you! You're in dire straits! I let one boyfriend die, I'm not going through that again.”

“I can get it myself...” His voice was to a near whisper at that point, further accentuated by the lack of liquids within him.

“I need to help you, Joey—I need to get you away from that. I need to protect you.”

“Sam—don't—with him,” Marla advised her as she set a hand on her shoulder. “He'll figure it out himself.”

“But I need to help him! He needs help—” Her voice broke as the words left her lips. Marla tugged her up from the floor and she turned her around to better face her.

“Literally the best and sexiest thing you can do for him is to let him figure it out for himself,” Marla continued in a gentle tone. Sam could see in her eyes that she too was crying. But she had to let him go, even if it meant another series of deep breaks within her heart. She bowed her head and wept right in front of Marla; she lowered her head and all but collapsed right into her chest. Marla cradled her in her arms and held her within her chest.

Chuck joined in right next to them.

Sam couldn't think about anything any further than that. All she recalled from that point onward was her climbing back into Marla's car and then nothing else after the fact. Everything was a blur, such that the mysterious man finally returned to her, even while she was wide awake. She pictured him right next to her, with his eyes deeper than the bottom of the ocean and his face right up close to her own. She wished to ask him on what to do next, but he never said anything to her.

Instead, he shook his head to her and then he looked back towards the trunk. She couldn't hardly think of anything else, but she knew that he meant business, and he always did when she reached a dead end. Behind every dead end was the road less travelled and his presence within her showed it to her. Marla saw him, too, and thus she knew that they were all in it together. It was all she could think about on the way away from Joey's apartment.

One of them led her into some place there in Camillus and the next thing she knew, she sat right next to Alex in a booth somewhere around there. She brushed away more tears and she peered over at Alex and the thoughtful look on his face. He had already ordered himself a cup of coffee despite it being almost eleven o'clock at night.

“Where's Marla, Chuck, and Zelda?” she asked him in a broken voice; she picked up a napkin so as to dry her eyes.

“Chuck and Zelda went next door for something,” he replied in a gentle tone, “Marla's right there.” He pointed to the right of her, where Marla finally picked up the receiver after she had apparently been waiting in line for a time. She put in the coins and slowly dialed the number.

Alex picked up his mug and took a sip of coffee.

“Hello, Charlie,” she started in a loud enough voice for the both of them to hear. “This is Marla. I know it's late, but meet up with me, Sam, Zelda, Chuck, and Alex as soon as you get this. We're at the coffee shop up in Camillus, like it's the coffee shop right at the center of town. It's highly important that you do. Like, this is dire. This is a potentially life or death situation here.”

Sam turned her attention to Alex right next to her in the booth, and his hand rested upon the table top before him, right next to his cup of coffee.

“So you said your parents hail from New York, right?” she asked him in a broken voice.

“Yeah, Sheep's Head. A neighborhood down in Brooklyn—my dad's from there, especially.”

She looked down at his cup of coffee right before him. Having coffee so late at night felt so strange to her, but at the same time, there was something so precious about it. She thought back to when she and Joey first met Alex, and he sat on the front porch of the coffee house with Cliff. The only thing they missed was a bit of rain on their backs otherwise the mood would surround them and fit like a glove. She had bought him some ginger snaps all the while.

“You know what, Alex?” she started. “You're always giving me stuff. I wanna give you something, too.”

“Nonsense, you always give me stuff,” he pointed out with a straight face. “You feed me and you cuddled up next to me—both in my car and in my bed. You took me to your old home, too, the place you go to when no one's looking. That's far more than what it's worth, Samantha.”

“And you took me home...” Her voice trailed off as she glanced up at Marla who had dialed another number on the pay phone right next to them.

“So we're always giving each other stuff,” she told him. “How 'bout—we give each other our silence?”

“Our silence,” he echoed that.

“Yeah, if we don't stifle one another with gifts to each other, surely we'd have to give each other our silence.”

Alex lowered his gaze to the floor before them and then he nodded his head in realization of what she meant by that.

“I don't know if I've told you this,” she started again, “but one thing I've always wanted to do with Joey was make a glass piece based off of him.”

“Glass—like stained glass?” He was stunned by that.

“Yeah. When I was in school, Belinda taught both me and Marla some tricks on how to work with the glass tools—you know the cutter and how to make things go with the grain of the glass. It was something I've always wanted to do when I was in school.”

“And you never did?” He knitted his eyebrows together, to which she shook her head.

“Never could get into it,” she confessed. “And I have no clue where to start with where Bel works over in Albany, either.”

“Do you think—” He raised his gaze to the ceiling overhead: the light over them shone down on his prominent brow and it in turn made his eyes appear deeper than they actually were. “Do you think maybe they can get you something there?” He returned his gaze to her.

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug and a sniffle: all the crying had loosened her up. “But then again, that would mean that I would have to come back here to New York. I'm already just barely settled into my mom's house. And I'm still just getting to know you guys, too.”

“Traveling can be hard, too. I mean, look no further than when we were in Germany last summer.”

“Oh, yeah, on the flight home, you were out like a light,” she recalled.

“And I was out like a light after I got back to the hotel from the border, too!” he added with a chuckle. And then he turned serious once more. “Well—Samantha—”

She turned her attention to him, right into those bright steely deep eyes with a quick glimpse to the little tuft of gray over his brow, which had returned to full bright fruition. He nibbled on his bottom lip.

“Whatever you want to do—” he began, but he stopped from something right next to them, and Sam turned her attention to Zelda who had just walked in through the front doors right then. Marla hung up the phone but then Zelda lunged for it herself.

“Sam?” Marla said once she turned back around towards them.

“What's up?” she asked her.

“You guys aren't gonna believe this.”

Alex raised those dark eyebrows at her.

“Apparently Bill hasn't nulled the marriage,” she told her. “You're still legally his wife.”

Alex closed his eyes and bowed his head.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Sam groaned as she leaned her back against the vinyl seat right behind her. “But wait, I kissed Joey, though! That's a breach of contract, isn't it?”

“For it to be as such, you have to be caught,” Marla pointed out. “You have to actually show proof of it in the state of California.”

“Caught,” she echoed. Alex raised his head right then.

“Caught,” he muttered, and then Sam raised her eyebrows at him.

“Marla, do you have your camera on hand?” he asked her.

“No, it's back home in Hell's Kitchen.”

“Damn.”

“Why?” Marla frowned at him. Sam lowered her gaze to those spidery guitar player fingers right next to his coffee cup, and right next to her own hand. Thin and sparse, perfect for running along the neck of that little red guitar back at his parents' house.

“Well,” he started again with a bit of caution, “'cause if you did, I'd ask Sam here to hold my hand with me and you to take a picture for us. If he needs proof that his legal wife's sneaking around behind his back, then let's give it to him right now.”

“I think you're gonna need to do way more than to hold hands with her, Alex,” Marla pointed out. “Even when she said that she and Louie screwed around, he didn't buy into it once. At least as far as I could tell anyway.”

She sat back down next to Sam while Zelda called up someone, probably one of the girls back in Rhode Island. The three of them sat there in silence, when Marla turned her attention back to them.

“I have an idea,” she said in a low voice, “but it doesn't involve him, though.” She nodded at Alex.

“What're you thinking?” Sam asked her as she drummed her fingers on the top of the table.

“We go back to Hell's Kitchen—you know, it's four hour drive, so it's going to be real late by the time we get there but it'll be more than worth it, though. Like we get in the car and—and—” Marla closed her eyes.

“Yeah?”

“We go back there and—seeing as Chuck is with us, another Native American man—I do a little—” She ran her tongue over the edge of her top row of teeth.

“A little what?”

Marla nibbled on her bottom lip and then she made the shape of a woman's body with her index fingers and then she made a camera gesture thereafter.

“Marla,” Sam scoffed, albeit in a hushed voice.

“Well, what the hell else are we supposed to do, though, Sam? Especially since we're here right now, within range of Hell's Kitchen and my camera—” She flashed Alex a dirty look.

“Hey, sometimes the way is through, you know,” he pointed out as he took a sip of coffee.

“And be the other woman with Chuck and Tiffany?” Sam was horrified. “I don't think so.”

“Well, unless Joey wakes up any time soon, there's no way to do something straight up without crossing some lines and then showing it off to Bill to verify it. As far as he knows, you're a citizen of California now and therefore his official wife. He won, Sam. Unless you go to bed with Chuck and I catch you on camera all the while, that Bible thumping mother fucker won and you go back to Elsinore and undo everything Bel and I did to get you out of there.”

She sighed through her nose and she pulled in her fingers so she had her fist upon the table top.

“Time to put on your acting skills, Sam,” Marla told her with a wink. “C'mon—it's a four hour drive. The longer we stick around here, the later it'll be by the time we get home.”

Alex polished off the rest of his coffee and then, as Marla left a tip for the waitress, the three of them headed out of there right as Zelda hung up the phone.

“Rose is coming to get me,” she told them.

“Okay!” Marla replied. “So—good night for now.”

They exchanged embraces and then Marla led Sam and Alex back outside, where Chuck met up with them, out of breath and with a sheen of sweat on one side of his face.

“Where've you been?” Sam asked him.

“Looking for another phone,” he told her as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. “Not another one for at least a couple of blocks and the damned thing wasn't working.”

“Well, we're going back to Hell's Kitchen,” Marla announced to him, “I have an idea because Sam's still caught up in a little pickle with her insane counselor.”

“Oh, really?”

Sam herself then turned to Alex.

“By the way,” she started, “what were you going to tell me a little bit ago?”

“On what?” he asked her.

“You know when we were talking about glass and coming back here to New York, and how traveling is hard and whatnot,” she recalled. “You were going to say something to me. Whatever I wanted to do and then you got cut off. Ring any bells?”

He paused and then his face lit up.

“Oh, yeah! I was gonna tell you that whatever you wanna do—I'm behind you on it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Even in the afterglow from the cafe behind them and the streetlights before them, she could see the thoughtful look on his face. She sniffled again and she flashed back to when he rescued her from the side of the road.

“Aw.”

“Besides,” he continued with a shrug of his shoulders and a shift of his weight, “after what happened with Joey earlier, you're going to kinda need that, too. That type of support. I'm sure Marla and Belinda would give it to you, too. But—you know. The more, the merrier.”

“Thank you, Alex, that—that means a lot to me.” She showed him a little smile and she could feel the tears coming on once more.

“Hey, it's just like when I picked you up from the side of the road a couple of months ago. I'm just doing what I can.”

“Hey, kids!” Chuck called out to them. “Think the snow's coming, I feel it!”

“Oh, shit! Yeah, let's get a move on...” Alex and Sam ran to the car together, and he stayed right behind her in the back seat on the four hour ride back to New York City. Even if the snows came in right then, Sam knew that she could rely on friends now.

[stylesnews]

On November 18, 2019, a website promoting a mysterious place called Eroda (“No Land Quite Like It”) arrived on the internet. Two days later, the official Twitter account for this fictional frown-shaped island began teasing local seaside attractions. You may have missed it, depending on which corners of the internet you choose to lurk, but not if you were a Harry Styles fan, a group that went into pure overdrive trying to figure out what it all meant.

I, for one, missed it at the time. I was unaware this account was cryptically quote tweeting fans as they tried to piece together what was happening, what it meant, and what it could be connected to (Greek Mythology and Lost were a couple of theories posed in comments, Twitter threads, and Reddit). Meanwhile, the Columbia Records marketing department had been hard at work for months, devising this specific and highly-detailed campaign around the music video for Styles’ second single, “Adore You” from his second solo album, Fine Line, ever since he shot the video in Scotland in August 2019 (Eroda = Adore backwards — clever!).

But it was all leading up to the morning of Friday, December 6 when the video was released, one week before the full-length album arrived. Up until that point, I had never seen an entire Harry Styles music video, but what happened next was inevitable. Somehow, as a self-proclaimed boy band scholar, I had never paid much attention to One Direction. I kept a distant eye on Styles since they disbanded, intrigued by the decisions he was making in his solo career. But I hadn’t yet realized I’d been in the ring all throughout the fall of 2019, fighting to resist the inevitable fascination that awaited. First came the jab of Rob Sheffield’s Rolling Stone profile, followed by the cross of “Lights Up”, a song that cracked my Top 20 most listened to songs of the year despite being released just two months before Spotify so thoughtfully compiled that personalized playlist. Then there was the hook of his SNL hosting stint in November (and bless you Bowen Yang for that Sara Lee sketch), which then leads us to the “Adore You” video, the uppercut and ultimate TKO. I surrendered in what felt like a near instant. I was now a Harry Styles fan. (If we’re following this analogy, I sat up to spit out some blood after seeing that cover of “Juice” before my head quickly hit the mat again with a loud thud).

Maybe it’s not quite remarkable that I took time out of a Friday morning to watch a music video, but that I sat at my desk, in an office, with other people around (back when we did those kinds of things) and proceeded to wipe away a few tiny tears from under my eyes by the end of it, was an experience I had not been through… maybe ever? In a world of lyric videos and TikToks, actual, thoughtful, impactful music videos with a full (and sweet!) story are about as rare as a glowing and growing fish these days.

Ultimately, “Adore You” does everything a music video should do. In nearly eight minutes, this video uses excellent visual effects in a cool and interesting way, tells a compelling and heartfelt story, is anchored by an irresistible leading man and an adorable sidekick, is backed up by the catchiest song you could ever dream of, and culminates with a touching and hopeful ending. It’s a treat for the eyes and the ears and the soul. It’s innovative and the kind of thing that begs you to watch it more than once to catch all the details (and yes, I do tear up every time).

So one would think that an award show with the specific purpose of celebrating this type of creativity would be extra sure to nominate such a charming and effective clip, but alas, “Adore You” was overlooked in the MTV Video Music Awards main categories this year. Of course, some could argue that that fact only adds to the video’s credibility but I’ll do my best to not be that petty as I’m still rooting for it to win in the three technical categories where it picked up nominations: Best Visual Effects by Mathematic, Best Art Direction by Laura Ellis Cricks, and Best Direction by Dave Meyers, who remains one of the most inventive and influential directors of all time and whose videos with artists such as Missy Elliot, Pink, and Kendrick Lamar have been racking up nominations for nearly 20 years now. He also saw four other videos he directed get recognized this year: Normani’s “Motivation” (Best Chorography), Travis Scott’s “Highest in the Room” (Best Hop Hop and Best Visual Effects), Anderson .Paak’s “Lockdown” (Video For Good), and Camila Cabello feat. DaBaby’s “My Oh My” (Best Cinematography).

But I reached out to Meyers to specifically ask about the intricate details of “Adore You” and how it all came to be; how he captured such a vibe with the overcast and dreary weather, mixed so wonderfully with the charming oddities of the people that make up this world of Eroda. In addition to directing the video, he also co-wrote the story with Chris Shafer and said, “It’s the first idea that popped to mind after the first listen to the song, and the first idea I pitched to Harry. It was a story that underscored my understanding of what Harry stood for and felt it was necessary to tell it as a narrative to convey his optimism.”

The extended version of the video starts with a two-and-a-half-minute introduction to the world of Eroda, narrated by Rosalia. This includes the “peculiar” people and their professions on the island, meeting The Boy (Styles) and his glowing smile that most people try to avoid, and the quirky superstitions these people continue to live by. “It all served a purpose,” Meyers said of the details. “The superstitions were a set up for how society generally reacts to different things. They fear change or oddity, even if it’s what’s best for them.”

Meyers, however, did not share in that fear, as much of this video provided for interesting and new opportunities he had yet to experience throughout his decades-long career, which he listed off: ”Compelling narrative, CG character, remote location, Scottish crew (nothing fazed them),” also noting that all of the other characters in the video were locals as well. So perhaps they were less fazed by the atmosphere across the four-day shoot in Scotland, but as Meyers recalled, the “weather was nuts. It rained every 20 minutes, then the sun, then cloud over.”

However, it’s likely that Mother Nature is also a Styles fan, as Meyers recalled, “I seem to remember going up on the hill for Harry’s picnic with the fish and being worried that it was so gloomy. By the time we came to shoot, the sun came out. And then the sun went away as soon as the scene was over. Similarly, we had the worst storm when Harry was contemplating suicide at the start. Pouring rain, drenching him. So I guess in that sense it was fun watching how Scotland provided a backdrop for the emotions we were after.”

And hey, at least they had the weather on their side to add to the mood while shooting the video, as one of their main characters, well, didn’t exist. “It was very odd shooting with no fish,” Meyers admitted. “But was quite rewarding later seeing it dropped in and making empathic sense to the story we were after.”

Of course, the main character they did have on hand is an awfully useful and appealing one at that. Fans became enamored with the moment Styles uses the back of his hand to check the temperature of a coffee pot before dumping the fish inside the water so it could stay alive. I asked Meyers about this particular moment and he said, “The problem we had was apparent when Harry ran in and threw the fish in the pot. We all sorta felt — well, what if it was hot? So I believe Harry improvised that as a solution and we felt it was perfect for the character’s sensitivity and consideration for this poor fish.” And that’s not the only nice thing he does for his fish friend — he also serves him a tiny taco! “The taco was a whimsical way to express friendship between Harry and the fish,” Meyers offered. It looked pretty tasty, too.

The entire video serves as a showcase for what Styles does best and what makes him such a unique artist: his music, his acting, and his charisma, which Meyers knew would offer him a lot to work with. “Harry is a leading man. I felt that from my first meeting and wanted to play with his wonderful range of emotions. So finding a story with a real character arc was part of my focus in building this world.” Meyers described working on “Adore You” as an “all-around memorable shoot: awesome location, lovely Harry, compelling story, great effects, and… it worked.”

It did. And it was a risk: a video this complex and detailed (and one has to assume, costly), attached to a marketing campaign that proved to be even more involved, still came with no guarantee that the fans wouldn’t shrug it off. But as Manos Xanthogeorgis, SVP of Digital Marketing & Media at Columbia Records told Billboard last year, “When you have a video and a piece of art at such a level, it’s an incredible challenge for the rest of the team to build a campaign at that same level of artistry and creativity.” Oh, and that was only step one, as the marketing team engaged in “real-time marketing” with fans online, ensuring they would continue to remain engaged by dropping clues and clips in the lead-up to the video premiere and subsequently the album. “This whole campaign was around mystery and sometimes mystery is more powerful than knowledge,” Xanthogeorgis said. The Twitter handle has remained active throughout 2020, used as a continual marketing tool for Styles’ next videos including the Meyers-directed “Falling” and this summer’s hit, “Watermelon Sugar.”

With that kind of fan engagement, “Adore You” seemed like a no-brainer for the fan-voted categories of the VMAs this year, as they surely would’ve turned out to vote just as feverishly for this video as they did when searching for clues (about a made-up island, at that!). But hey, maybe MTV was just not interested in massive fan engagement this year — after all, it’s not like everything Styles does, including growing freakin’ facial hair, has the internet in a tizzy for weeks. Ultimately, as the impact of music videos (and certainly the ceremony celebrating them) continues to lose relevance, the disregard of this specific project simply feels like a missed opportunity to acknowledge a rare achievement in the art form.

While Meyers was sure to describe his inclusion in the VMA nominations this year as “lovely and flattering” (and he better have a moonperson in his possession this time next week, MTV!) it’s still puzzling why “Adore You” wouldn’t be included in the big categories, considering Styles is squarely within their demo, at the very least. That “Adore You” is also a technical and storytelling masterpiece, as well as a full moment that was used as inspiration both for the experience online and in-person at the Fine Line Spotify listening party last December, that also comes packed with one of the most enthusiastic groups of fans around, well, that should have had the entire network drooling.

Of course, some of this can simply be chalked up to a perfect storm. As far as his singles go, “Lights Up” was a nice appetizer, but “Adore You” remains the delicious entree (you already know what’s for dessert). “Adore You” is a perfect pop record if I’ve ever heard one (and I have) and deserved a special video. A Chris Isaak “Wicked Game” sexy vibe wasn’t going to work here. The song tells the story of such passionate, pure, and heartachingly naive and innocent love that it almost had to be directed toward a non-human being. Instead, Styles chose to inject those same carefree, sweaty, sticky, delicious, whimsical beach vibes into the “Watermelon Sugar” clip, which was the right choice, and not just for the summertime season (MTV has since added the Song of Summer category to the VMAs and included “Watermelon Sugar”).

But it’s “Adore You” that has melodies that bring a smile to the faces of babies, get your toes tapping even when you hear it in the dentist’s chair, and likely has my neighbors rolling their eyes when I sing along to it in the shower. The song is so simple it’s deep, a theme reflected in the video, as is the central reminder to help and care for others, a thoroughly 2020 message.

However, not all is lost. Both “Adore You” and “Watermelon Sugar” continue to rack up major spins at radio with the latter hitting number one on the Billboard charts earlier this month. Grammy voting kicks off at the end of September and Academy members should take note. Not only is Fine Line more than worthy of being acknowledged, but having Styles on hand to potentially collect trophies and perform is in your best interest when it comes to viewers and online chatter. Do not wait to take him seriously. This is the album, this is the time. Prove that you aren’t a bunch of stodgy old white men who think he’s just for teen (and um, thirty-something) girls, but that you understand the music he enjoys, is inspired by, and subsequently makes, is the same rock music you appreciate as well. An artist like Styles can be both of those things at the same time, and really, the best of both worlds. Give the album a listen, and then one more to let it all sink in. If you have not yet succumbed to the force that is Harry Styles fandom, I truly can’t recommend it enough — and please know that it will get you eventually. 

[calypsoff]

Eight. Part 5

Who would have thought Chris’ bed was comfy, I think it’s just the fact I know he has slept in this “mhmm” laying onto my back, then again I bet he has had sex with her in this, now I am angry and want to get out of this bed, see now I have set myself up to be angry all day with him and he won’t even know why but honestly, I need to get out of this bed. Jay Brown and I had a little argument for ditching him the way I did so I do need to go back today and finish off my album, but to have seen Chris and to know he is stable, I can rest easy to know this. I do not ever regret coming here, I would rather delay a whole album and miss out on money, I am happy I did. When Chris was saying all those things to me, I just felt myself defrosting, I put this cold barrier up because I was so angry with him, I was angry at him so much that he did what he did to me, it hurt. But when he spoke to me, to see him breakdown slowly by slowly, like that barrier he put up came down and I didn’t expect him to say sorry to me about the sex the night before we left, I wasn’t expect an apology for it but he was so sincere and he felt bad about it, I think it happened and I am not angry at him but because we was not getting along anyways, that happened but I am just happy he spoke to me, and he’s made me feel love again, and I just get all giddy inside when he says he loves me, I just didn’t expect it from him. I came here just to see him because he is my friend no matter what, but I got more then I wanted from this, I just need to think about him. Chris is very sensitive, he’s very big on being the man of the house and I don’t ever want to take that away from him. I need to think carefully but taking it slow will help him. Pushing the covers off of my body, swinging my legs around to get out of bed.

I had to clean the mess I made, I had to also clean the mess Rich decided to make because he made breakfast, which was sweet of him but still, I had to clean that mess. Now it’s the afternoon and it’s getting late, but I have finally finished the clean-up, thank god “I never want to share a bathroom with you again, don’t ever tell anyone this happened” Rich laughed, he laughed so hard “am I that bad?” shaking my head “no, I am joking but you sure do make a mess cooking, don’t ever try to cook again” I pointed at him “got you, so we going to the hospital and then going to Miami?” nodding my head “yes, hold this” holding the book Chris has been drawing in “we taking it?” he took it from me “yes, I want him to know I know” I winked twirling around “also I want to take him some food before I go, take him something nice so he can eat. I mean he is already skinny and hairy, well on the face but I need to make sure he eats” putting my coat on “so you want to mother him?” Rich isn’t wrong “possibly but he’s my friend, you look after friends” zipping my coat up “is he your friend or lover?” Rich is pushing today “he is my friend first, because no matter what happens to us I know that foundation is there. If we don’t end up being anything, we will always be friends and I love that about us” I smirked at Rich “good answer, let’s go then. Also this apartment is dope you know, for him” nodding in agreement, it is nice.

I have every part of my face covered, I look crazy as hell, but I can’t be too relaxed, I do not want to be pointed out and for news headlines to hit that I am here, then exposing Chris to that mess that he isn’t ready for. I get where he is coming from, I get what he means because being famous is not fun. I mean it has its perks but being harassed by the things you do, I know my manager is going to lose his mind to know I want to be with Chris, an ex convict. They will bring up his past and I don’t want that for him but it’s going to happen, if we do actually be together. I want to keep him a secret for as long as I can “aye, turn here” Rich said, I was here walking straight ahead “his room is here, just wait here. I will check first” nodding my as I looked up to see where I will stand, looking back down “won’t be a minute” resting against the wall as I waited out for Rich to come and get me, I hope he is alone. I mean I have no issues with his friends, but we can’t say or do anything without them teasing him and then Chris gets all shy with me, he kind of plays it all off because they are teasing him “clear” Rich said to me, thank god “is it empty?” I have to ask “it is” moving my hood back walking into the room, the cutest smile on Chris’ face, I haven’t seen this kind of smile before.

I am so glad to be taking my coat off “I was thinking where you were at? Took your time” placing my coat on the chair “miss me huh?” he shook his head “I was bored, so my apartment is ok yeah? You slept well” I won’t be telling tell him how I got angry at the thought some other girl slept there, I will keep that to myself “it was nice, thank you. I changed your bed covers and cleaned. Your mom never cleaned it like she said, I took time because I cleaned your place after sleeping in your bed. I noticed though, you had one bar of soap in the shower. What the fuck is that all about?” Chris busted out laughing and then winced in pain “ok, don’t make me laugh. Ah god, you know what. When you left, Barry said why you let Rihanna, a multi-millionaire in your wack apartment that doesn’t have a working heater in the living room, I was like oh shit. But I got the little portable thing. And yeah, I mean. That soap has been places, hope you ain’t use it? I am used to being locked up. I am a simple man Robyn. But to me, you’re Robyn. Like I should have let you gone to a hotel, so you use it?” he grinned looking up at me, he needs to fix himself “well we aren’t in jail now, I am not going to ask what else you washed with that but it ends now, yeah?” I pointed at him, he shook his head “it’s soap?” he is nasty “Chris, it ends here. You can’t be using a bar of soap for everything, but anyways. I bought you food, how nice am I?” he cooed out as I put the Chick fil a on the table “oh wow, thank you. Like I legit feel ill just eating this food” I snorted laughing “I think you can handle anything with the fact you use one bar of soap for everything” I said pushing the table to him “you not going to drop that, are you?” shaking my head “you nosey, shouldn’t be looking at that” opening the bag for him “I cleaned ok, and even then you barely had products” Chris will regret letting me go there, I won’t drop it until he fixes that.

Chris is hard work “nigga you broke two fingers, your other hand works!” I spat, placing the two pieces of burger down having had to break it in two with my hands “got food in my nails” licking my fingers, he is a pain. Like I love he treats me normal, but I think it’s going to scare him that out there I am something else, I am not a different person but to them I am “I think I am hard” he has been laying there watching me “don’t watch me lick my fingers then, will you eat please. I even got you a fruit cup, to be nice a healthy” I think he is purposely being a pain in the ass “I swear Chris, I am going to beat your ass” watching half of the salad fall out of the burger and onto himself “I am disabled!” he said with a mouth full of food “I quit, I ain’t being your carer” he placed the burger down and then proceeded to not lick his fingers but lick his whole hand “oh my god” I breathed, I don’t know what I saw in him “you have big tongue” he looked over at me smirking “mhmm I do, it’s good for a lot of things. Even licking my hand, can you feed me? Man this is not working, no wonder these white folks giving me soup” he is hard work.

I won’t ever give him food again, I decided “are you full now?” he looks pleased “I am, I need to sleep now” he can wait for that “I am going Chris, well I will be soon if you can keep your eyes open for me, please” he looked a little sad that I said that “damn, that quick?” walking over to the chair to sit down “yeah, work calling. It’s not all fun and games, looks it but they are working me. Working me hard, I just want to talk to you before I go” sitting down slowly “sure, I am listening” he is a cutie “so I just want to say thank you for apologising, like I didn’t think you would have apologised for what happened that night. I mean it’s nothing I am holding against you, but to hear you even think about saying sorry for that, it shows me you do care and it makes me happy. The conversation was hard for you, I felt you in every way and I just really want to say that you have made me coming here even more worth it, I am happy. It’s funny because Rich was asking me are we lover or friends and I said friends because I don’t ever want that to change, because once we put that before a relationship if that happens, and anything happens then we will end up bitter. To know how you feel, to hear you speak on things from the past, you remember so much but it’s scary for you, for me. For both of us and I think we just need to take it slow and build on that” I just wanted to say that, probably wasn’t that informative “yeah, yeah. I mean it’s hard, feelings are difficult, emotions can get high. It can make you do things, stupid things a long the way” nodding in agreement “I don’t want you to see me like the rest do, I like that peace with you. For you to see me as me, you’re my peace here in America. I go to Barbados and I get peace there but with you, I want you to remain the same” I hope he does “always, you my Barbadian cherry” he is cute “so where does that exactly leave us, I mean like in terms of what we are. I mean does this mean we friends and for example, have sex elsewhere or is it we friends and don’t fuck with anyone else?” he is up front “what do you think?” let him answer this “what do you want? Like you said the two options because it’s true, least we can decide and then we can’t be angry at one another about it?” Chris chewed on his bottom lip, I am making him decide now “I don’t want another man to touch your body or to even see the beauty spot on your back, we friends but I don’t think we should bring anyone else into this, I am not like that, I am not a guy to be playing one girl to another girl” if I could hug him I would, that is the best answer because I would have said the same “I agree” I said in a whisper.

Reaching into my bag, picking out the book. Chris’ eyes widened “how you get that!?” he spat “Rich found it in your living room, he said a picture of me dropped out. Then I saw” opening the page “this” holding the book up “you drew me?” Chris got shy and put his head down “that is a real old book, did you look through it all? I never finished it before I got locked away, that book I took from school and never gave it back but look in the back of it, you see why it’s old” turning the book back to me, now I am scared on what he has drawn. Turning the book to the back “don’t you remember the book Robyn, this is the book I would open on lunch and you would think I was doing homework” seeing various both pen and pencil drawn images “that is our hands, pinkie promise. Oh my god yes, you wrote it here” I chuckled “Chris, wow. These are like” I drifted off, he has drawn different parts of me, like there is many on this page but it’s details and it’s all me “what?” I said looking up at him “so because lunch wasn’t long, it took me a while to do it so every day or when I can would pick out things of you, so that is why it’s like weird random face features but it’s so I can always know how to draw you, so when I did draw you, it looked amazing” I am so speechless, placing my hand over my mouth in shock “life has been pretty shit for me Robyn, so I can only apologise for not being me” I am speechless “no man has ever, god I can’t speak” I am in shock.

He has stunned me, I am in shock “you have always been so talented Chris, and I want to help you excel that. And I am not looking down on you, I am not doing it because we are together or whatever but because you are my friend. I would do this for any of my friends but when you want me to help you, then I am here for you. I just know you can do so much with this talent, and besides. The long hours in Amazon doesn’t fit with your talent but this is down to you, but right now. I love this book, but I ill give it back because I want you to add to it” placing the book on the table “next will be our kids in that book” I laughed lightly “kids? Not for a while but yes, why not” he needs to not be stubborn, I don’t want to sound pushy or seem like it’s my way if you want to be with me but his life will change if we do end up being together, I won’t have him working like a dog while I am sat relaxing, it will not happen and I won’t let it.

Chris and I have been so engrossed in the little conversations we have had, we have spoke on a lot things and stupid things that it is now night fall “oh by the way, why has nobody come to see you?” I am confused “I asked them not too, I knew you would be coming, and I didn’t want them to interrupt us, I didn’t want any family members coming and seeing you, I don’t want people to harass you for being Rihanna, you know. Just got to be careful” he is going to be the man that takes care of my sanity, I need this “thank you” getting up from the chair “I have had a good time here, Virginia always bringing me some joy buy it’s time I go, like it’s late already too” I stretched out “man, that is wack so we going to concentrate on us yeah?” grabbing my coat from the chair “just us yes, but I will be a little busy but I will text you as I do, let you know what I am doing” don’t want him to think I am ignoring him “ok, you going to give me a kiss?” he asked, very bold of him “uhm, after seeing that soap and to think what you do, no” Chris groaned out “you not going to leave it alone” zipping my coat up “do better then, I want better for you” shuffling over to the bed “please be safe, I won’t harass you now but soon I will” leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead, placing my hands at the side of his face feeling the beard between my fingers “call me when you want too” pressing a kiss to his lips.