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#like he’s just messing with sean but stille
roger-that-palidan · 2 years
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I’m still recovering from Sean’s abrupt death. 
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m0th-gh0st · 2 years
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god i need to draw more of my inhabited sean au i have... thoughts
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jealous hotchner because he can’t take his brother flirting with you so he shows you who you belong to 😘😘😘 (as in he wasn’t aware he liked you like that until he saw his brother with you and realised he didn’t want sean doing to you what he wants to do to you)
ps. you are an amazing writer and i love your work 🩷
༉‧₊˚. 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 || 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫
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— pairing: aaron hotchner x plus size!reader
— summary: things change thanks to the helpful youngest hotchner (or aaron's a little oblivious but then realizes he's jealous and you guys have sex in the bathroom at work).
— warnings: yet ANOTHER pwp, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, mentioned vaginal fingering, rough sex, doggy style, backshots, mirror sex, bathroom sex, dom!aaron hotchner, sub!reader, dom/sub dynamics, kind of mean dom!aaron, he's just being a little mean, but only 'cause he's jealous, the reader is enjoying every second of it though, a lot of dirty talk, teasing, ass smacking (like once), implied oral sex at the end (m rec), they just match each other's freak.
— wc: 1048
⋆ a/n: WOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO AND DISAPPEAR INTO A HOLE NOW!! this is just a whole mess if i'm going to be honest, but in like... a good way. i don't know if this aaron is ooc 'cause usually he's sweet in most of my fics, but this is just a whole different ball field!
masterlist | AO3
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You really, really had no idea how you ended up here, but somehow you were pulled to the side by your boss and found yourself tugged into the gender-neutral bathrooms.
Your lips were rolled between your teeth and your eyes were squeezed shut tightly in order to try to keep the sounds of pleasure from spilling between your teeth. Your hands curled into the counter of the sink, head hanging low. 
Aaron’s large palms gripped at the fat of your hips, your pencil skirt shoved up and over your waist, your panties pulled halfway down your thighs before they sat on top of your knees that were squeezed together. It was hard to keep yourself still in your heels, but you were determined to be good for him, just like he had asked.
One moment you were sitting at your desk chatting away with Sean, the youngest Hotchner brother when Aaron had come storming over, mentioning something about, “Leaving his Agent,” Alone. The tone was unfamiliarly possessive, but you would be lying if you said you hadn’t felt his brooding from atop of the stairs near his office.
You could always feel him near you, it was like your body was pulled towards the earth that was Aaron Hotchner. 
You could see it in Aaron’s face as he all but dragged his brother away from you, jaw set tight and eyes narrowed, arms crossed over his suit covered chest. They bulged out in the material and you had to keep yourself from moaning at the sight of them.
Sure, you knew Sean was flirting with you, but it was rare that men would show any interest in you, so you can’t blame a girl for taking advantage of a situation in front of her, though it wasn’t the brother that she wanted.
Anywho, that’s neither here nor there. All you know is, is that one moment you’re walking down the hallway after visiting Penelope’s cave to be dragged away by Aaron into the bathrooms and pressed against the door.
The way he peered down at you was dark and hungry, and he definitely had a goal in mind as you coward. He held you there with his body, large, broad shoulders pinning you to the metal as you peered up at him through fluttering lashes.
Your body fucking burned for him. You knew you would do anything he would ask you too.
Of course this was disorderly conduct, that it was inappropriate, and quite frankly taboo, with the way that he was your boss and you were his subordinate; and oh, you guys were currently fucking in the company bathroom.
If you were going to be honest – and nasty – that only added fuel to the fire that was your dampening core.
You had begged in a small voice, shaky hands raising to set themselves on his shoulders, fingers curling in the material to… steady yourself? Pull him closer? You didn’t know, but he just watched you.
“Tell me what you want.” The question was sultry and demanding and a shiver ran its way up your body, wracking it in its haste. “You.” You would go to whisper, gaze falling on his lips before following back up to his eyes.
He had bent you over the counter, fingering you open quickly before tugging himself out of his slacks and entering you.
“Mmf… fuck!” You couldn’t help but cry as his tip kissed your g-spot over, and over and over again. The stretch burned so good, and the coil in your stomach was tightly wound, but not quite there yet. You needed that extra stimulation and you didn’t know if Aaron was willing to give it to you.
“Shush.” He puffed harshly, the warm air hitting the shell of your ear before he tugged on it with his teeth.
“Oh God.” You whimpered, leaning back into his bites. “I need it, Aaron please… Don’t be mean.” You whined. “You’ll take what I give you. That’s the least you could do after flirting with my brother right in front of me.”
The mention of his brother caused him to punch back into you harshly, sending you forward slightly. You scrambled to tighten your hold again, another cry lodging itself in your throat.
“Nasty girl.” He growled. “What made you think that was appropriate, huh?” Another emphasizing thrust. “I – I didn’t think…” You mewled. “‘Want you only. I promise.” You said with a pout, resting your head on his shoulder.
“Yeah? Only me?”
“Mhm.”
He studies your face before leaning forward to join your lips together. Despite the awkward angle, he holds you steady, one of hands leaving your skin to run circles over your clit.
“Gah!” Your yelp is muffled by your lips, the man all but eating it. You don’t know which fountain of pleasure to chase, hips rocking forward and backwards constantly. 
“I… I…” Your words failed you, and your eyes squeezed shut again. “‘M gonna cum, Aaron baby, can I? Can I cum?” You beg.
He forced you to meet his gaze in the mirror, strands of his black hair sticking to his sweat slicked forehead. “Do you deserve it?” He asks darkly.
You think you could cry.
“Aaron…”
“Answer me. Do you think you deserve to cum?”
“You know I do.” You breathe petulantly, but he isn’t having it, the hand your hip slapping your ass instead. “Fuck.” You sigh. “You’re lucky we're running out of time, or I would be making you beg more, understood?”
“Yes, yes! Understood!”
“Good.”
The tight circles return and you keel over, teeth digging into your bottom.
“I wish I could hear you, my pretty girl.” He coos and you cry out as you cum. Your body trembles but he works you through it.
You’re breathing heavily by the end of it, your heavy eyes meeting his in the mirror.
“You think we're done?” He asks with dark amusement. “I haven’t cum yet.”
He maneuvers your body and turns you around, and by the pressure on your shoulders, he’s trying to push you down, and you understand what he wants. You follow his wordless instructions wordlessly, staring face to face with his dripping wet cock that’s stained with your creamy cum.
“You know what to do.” Aaron encourages, and you do.
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࣪ ˖✧ Sweet Coffee
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✦ Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader ✦ Summary: The morning after Sean's return party, a sheepish Arthur faces the consequences of his drinking excess. ✦ Warnings: None, this is as fluffy as the first part. ✦ Words: 3,9k ✦ a/n: This is a sequel of this one shot! Please, read it before this one :) Also, I've taken the liberty to write this as if Arthur still had Boadicea, to me it was the best way to make him have a canon horse. Gonna think about a better solution in the future.
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You opened your eyes, slowly. The ceiling of your tent was turning a bit, your heart feeling like it was on the verge of leaking out of your chest. It was as if your bed was a boat, pitching with the winds and the waves; you had to prevent yourself from throwing up, a spinning sensation making your guts feel rancid.
Water. Coffee. Breakfast.
You thought to yourself while stretching in your cot, every fiber of muscles in your body feeling worn. Your brain was mushy, unable to form any complex reflection, your forehead hurting, your mouth dry. The consequence of every party; the goddamn hangover.
Water. Coffee. Breakfast.
You slowly sat at the edge of your bed, taking the time to move your tired members, realizing your throat was extremely sore. You probably sang a little too much last night. You get up and walk to the little cleaning area of your tent which consisted of only a simple table topped with a little mirror, a bucket of water, and a solitary towel. Nothing fancy, but at least you had your own tent, which was already a grand luxury at camp.
Water. Coffee. Breakfast.
You take long sips of water from the bucket before cleaning up your face, looking at it in the mirror. Of course, under your eyes, big shady circles, sickles of violet darkness under the sharp radiance of your pupils. It was part of the whole hangover package. You quickly fixed your hair and put on some fresh clothes, mindlessly.
Coffee, breakfast, Arthur.
Wait, what? You thought you were going on with your morning routine thoughtlessly, but here he was. Always following you, a shadow in the back of your mind; his stupid smile like imprinted on the obscure abyss of your psyche, shining, blazing, magnificent. Haunting.
You were thinking about him very often lately, maybe too often, you noted to yourself. John's word had sealed your opinion's fate on the matter: Arthur could have behaved that way with any other girl at camp.
And yet. Yet you longed for it, for last night to mean something, anything. For you to be more than just any girl to him. For the drunken honest words he had spoken before drifting away in the sweet caress of sleep to be true. You sighed. Too much false hope would lead your heart to be even more broken, you knew it.
And yet. The shadow of his smile. The sound of his deep, powerful laugh. Following you everywhere as you got out of your tent, eyes narrowing at the bright light of the day, almost as bright and vibrant as the subject of your thoughts; almost.
Your path led you more by habits than by an actual decision of yours to the campfire next to Pearson's wagon, and you were delighted to see one of your obsessive needs was already there: a hot coffee pot, releasing a small puff of smoke had been prepared. Blessed was the divine human being who made it. You took a cup and poured some of the holy providential liquid into it, the mere smell of it already waking you up a little bit. The taste was strong, bitter; rough like your life was as an outlaw in a gang, but at least it would help you clear your head and maybe get a certain someone out of it.
As you sipped on the warm beverage, you took a look around at your surroundings. The camp offered you a pitiful but quite amusing sight. It was a real mess, as if a tornado had passed by and turned everything upside down. The Ocean of empty bottles was still present, spilling everywhere between the different people's tents. People who were slowly emerging from them, with tired eyes and ruffled hair, some of them speaking more quietly than usual, rubbing their temples, navigating through shattered glass and chaos of debris, remnants of the agitation that had taken place the night before. You chuckled to yourself. One of the more feared gangs in the West? Certainly not after a party.
Abigail was already starting to clean the pieces of glass, getting angry about how this wasn't a proper place to raise her kid. Honestly, she was right, and you wanted to help her. Ms Grimshaw would probably force you to anyway, and this idea was reinforced when you noticed her from afar, already yelling at Karen to get up and start the cleaning.
Before getting attention from the strict woman, you took a step to go and do your part but stopped in your tracks. A familiar rugged face had appeared from his tent and was heading up in your direction.
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Arthur was feeling too much. Too much sensations, too much feelings, just way too much of everything. His thoughts were trying to work as fast as he could considering his slowed brain, the aftermath of his excess from last night preventing him from being as efficient as normal.
The main focus of his reflection was you. He was obsessed to know what had happened, to understand why he had so many memories about you from last night, and quite intimate ones. He was praying he didn't do anything stupid with you; were you two even okay? Had he offended you? Had he been respectful? He needed to know, he needed to make sure he hadn't screwed everything up between you two. And at the same time, he was ashamed. So ashamed of having drunk so much he wasn't even able to remember what had happened. He was so anxious to confront you about it. To hear the truth, hear you say he had been a pig, and you'd never want to see him again, because that was probably what had happened. He was convinced of it.
As he saw you drinking your morning coffee by the fire from his cot, he quickly had changed, tried to clean up a bit, and made sure he had nothing stuck between his teeth or anything else of that type that could make him pass for an even bigger fool than he already was. He had chosen one of the less damaged shirts he had, a simple green but at least not holey flannel, all his clothes being more or less in a bad state anyway. Two leathered suspenders on, keeping black basic pants from falling. Damn, his reflection in the mirror looked even uglier than usual with his lack of sleep and post-party face. He sighed deeply, screw it. He needed to talk to you, at all costs, he knew he wouldn't be able to do anything else properly otherwise. He tried to actually brush his hair, a thing he never bothered to do normally; he even tried to use some hair pomade, combed them in all directions possible, anything to make them look less messy. Nothing was working. He sighed again, getting angry, and just decided to put his hat on to hide this disaster.
This was already too complicated and he hadn't spoken any words yet.
Now walking straight to you, every step he took was followed by a worried thought, his heart tightening more and more as he was getting closer to the campfire you were standing next to. What had he done? Were you mad at him? Would you even agree to speak to him? Did he look good enough? Shit, he probably still must reeks of whiskey, he should have gone to town and taken a bath, stupid moron! But it was too late. Your eyes had crossed his, you had seen him approaching. There was no going back.
Finally arriving at the campfire, the poor nervous man stood at a respectful distance from you and cleared his throat. He didn't even had taken the time to think about what to say. Moron.
"G'd mornin', Y/N." He greeted you, his tone almost a bit too formal, a trace of his troubled state. His voice sounded huskier and harsher than what he wanted to, you were the first person he actually talked to since waking up and you could hear it with how hoarse his vocal cords were.
Besides it, you couldn't have guessed how much was going on inside his head; his expression was as neutral as usual, his own way of defending himself against the flurry of feelings that was taking place inside of him. You smiled at him, a mischievous, playful smile. You had so much to tease him about. Before the party, you two would already messed with each other a lot, and now you had a whole night of details you could use for it.
"Good morning, Mister Morgan... Guess someone was a little thirsty last night, mmh?" You answered, looking at him. His eyes crossed yours, he cracked up a smile too. His shoulders seemed to go down a bit, less tensed. In reality, he was so relieved to hear you tease him and to see your smile. You weren't mad. He silently thanked the Lord for that.
"I, erm... Maybe I drank a little t'much..." He replied with an embarrassed grin, his eyes looking at his feet before planting them back right into yours. He decided to ask you right away. Arthur never beat around the bush, this time was no exception. "L'sten, I don't... I don't remember much 'bout last night and... I hope I didn't bother ya."
His bright blue pupils were looking intensely into yours as he waited for your answer. He always looked at people like this, always keeping eye contact, as if it was a quiet duel and he would lose it if he stopped; but God, it made your heart melt a little.
"Oh, Arthur." You started, smiling some more realizing he was actually worried about you. "Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong. To me at least. I remember you losing your nerves and punching Micah in the face." You answered his question, chuckling in the end.
"Why, this bastard had it comin'..." Arthur replied, scratching the side of his jaw, the slight grin still present on his lips, telling himself that it was definitely something he was capable of.
"You sing pretty good when you're drunk..." You added, tone playful.
Arthur sighed, he was enjoying more and more of this conversation he had feared in the beginning.
"Oh stop it, I don't." He retorted, his fingers scratching one last time before falling to his belt, both his hands gripping it, a standing position he often had when talking and didn't know what to do with his arms. Honestly, you were quite fond of it.
"You want some coffee, songbird ?" You questioned with a teasing tone, already grabbing a new cup and the pot. You knew he would say yes.
"Yeah, thank you." He replied at first, before frowning. "Don't ya start calling me that!" He added with a firmer tone, but his small smile was still stuck on his face while grabbing the hot cup you were handing to him.
"You're also quite a dancer..." You teased him once more with your mischievous voice, knowing you were pushing his limits with your remarks.
"Damn it, woman! Can't believe I was worried 'bout ya, while ya're teasin' me like this..."
"Yeah, I'm such a nasty woman..."
"Nah, you're the sweetest." He corrected you, a bit too quickly for it to be innocent. A quick, subtle flicker in his eyes showed you he was surprised with himself; the words had come out on their own.
You smiled widely, cheeks turning a bit red. You were praying it wasn't too obvious to him. Arthur was still looking at you, two indigo miniature seas fixated on you, even while drinking his beverage. The more he was, the more those vivid memories he had were making their way back to his mind. While looking at your waist, he remembered having held it at some point during the party, which explained how he learned how your clothes felt underneath his fingers. His breath quietly hitched when he realized how he knew about the softness of your leg: he recalled having an arm curled up around it at the end of the night. Shit... He really had been unruly. After a short silence, Arthur spoke again. He wanted to make sure, he needed to make sure.
"Erm... Can I ask ya if we... Did anythin' happen b'tween us while I was drunk ?"
"No, you've just been a bit... Tactile. But nothing happened." You answered his question honestly, wanting him to know the truth. After all, Arthur was your friend, and there was a whole step between gently teasing and actually tormenting him. "Oh and, you said you loved me."
Arthur almost choked on his coffee, a short strangled sound escaping from his throat, some drops of the hot liquid falling on his shirt. The only decent shirt he had was ruined. But it was the least of his problems. What the actual Hell had gotten into him? He was an even worse fool than he thought, and the bar was already low.
"I... What ?" Were the only words he was able to form, one of his hands wiping the coffee from his chin.
"Don't worry, John told me you've made it a habit to tell women that when you're drunk, apparently. We don't have to make a bit deal out of this." You reassured him. He really looked ashamed of his behavior, and you didn't wanted to make him feel even worse.
But Oh Lord, if only you knew. If only you could have understood how much he wanted to make a big deal out of it; how much he had wanted to properly say those three words to you. He was almost disappointed in a way, that you were so quick to forget about it, as if it had been a simple joke to you, something amusing a drunkard had said in a moment of alcoholic eccentricity.
"Ah, alright. Well, I'm happy ya not mad at me." He simply added, honestly not knowing what to say or how to act anymore.
Tell her. Tell her she means the World to you. Tell her you have spoken the truth. This was the best chance you would have.
But the words were stuck, and as fast as a breeze would have swept away petals of flowers, Ms. Grimshaw asked for you with her usual severe call, and off you were gone, wishing him a good day and telling him he didn't have to worry about last night, even adding your typical teasing comments, advising him to join a choir were he could flourish his singing talent.
Looking at you walking off, he sighed again, calling himself a moron for at least the twentieth time since he had gotten up. Looking down at his cup of coffee, almost empty, just like the hurtful sensation he was experiencing right now inside his heart, he got angry again. This was enough. He threw the rest of the coffee on the ground, put the cup in his satchel out of habit, and walked straight to his horse.
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The afternoon passed slowly and quietly. You basically spent it tidying up the camp, the number of dishes almost twice as big as usual, and the endless amount of bottles and garbage looking like it was only getting larger the more you were cleaning them up. Thankfully, Ms Grimshaw had put every girl in camp to work too, and you weren't alone on your impossible task while the men were back on their usual activities, whether it was lazying around for Uncle and the Reverand, guarding camp for Bill and Charles, or going back on jobs for the others. You hadn't seen Arthur since your morning discussion with him, and you had concluded he probably had gone somewhere to do his own work. As the sun was getting down, the camp had ultimately taken back its usual appearance, and you were finally free from your chores.
You decided to go to the edge of the camp, behind the wagons, where the cliff was starting and was offering a breathtaking view of the mountains in front of you. At this time of day, in the dusky sun, the landscape was painted with beautiful golden and bronze colors, dazzling blend of warm tones, ephemeral treasure from the last sunrays of the day before the settlement of the night's darkness.
Lost in your contemplation, you didn't hear footsteps approaching. The shrill and recognizable sound of spurs along with the heavy stomping of a horse's hooves made you turn your head from the literal work of art you had under your nose, and your gaze fell on another one from a different nature; Arthur was walking up to you, holding Boadicea's reins into his hands, his blue gaze already fixated on you, slight frown on his forehead, looking as determined as if he was going in for a fight.
He looked different from earlier, you swore he was wearing a brand new shirt you had never seen, a fresh white one, and a black jacket which must have gone with a fancy suit. As he was heading towards you, you noticed and could smell he had taken a bath, and trimmed his beard more than usual. He looked neat, refreshed, it was quite unusual for him. You could feel how your blood was rushing at the simple sight of all this: he was undoubtedly handsome, as breath-taking as the landscape around you.
"Y/N." He greeted you with a determined voice, once he had come close to you. He let go of the reigns, letting his mare free, but she stayed right where she was and started to graze happily. He took his hat off and held it in his hands, probably out of politeness. Such a gentleman, as always around women. You had always found it quite endearing how rough he was but at the same time how respectful towards girls, complying with conventions just like an honest man would. However you were a bit confused, he had never bothered to do that with you before, only with the women he didn't knew.
"Arthur, are you alright? Did Trelawny force you to get clean up ?" You joked a bit, genuinely surprised by his appearance and sudden polite behavior.
"What? N-no..." He stuttered. He never stuttered. You could feel it flowing into you like last night: this terrible, powerful feeling of hope. Your whole being was filled with it as your eyes were glued to him, like a moth to a flame, like a moon to its celestial body.
"I erm... I got somthin' for ya." He said almost shyly. Shyly. You couldn't believe what you were witnessing. It was nearly too good to be true.
Maybe... Maybe the words he had spoken to you... Maybe his tactile behavior... Your thoughts were going entirely crazy, spiraling around the deep feeling that something really important was on the verge of happening. You watched, in awe, as Arthur turned his back to you in order to pull off from Boadiccea's saddle a gorgeous flower bouquet.
"I know it ain't much but... I've picked 'em for you..." He said quietly, his voice slow and deep as usual, but also a bit more vulnerable. You could see just how flustered he was, how unusual it was for him to put himself in such a situation. And it made you more happy than anything for such a long time. Your eyes, traveling from his insanely cute bashful face to the flowers, were now stuck on it. The colors were vibrant and surprisingly well-matched, almost like a painting, the petals going from deep red to a warm golden yellow. You couldn't prevent a deep blush from flushing your cheeks; it really was warming your heart.
"They're beautiful! Thank you so much..." You marveled, vision attached to his gift, admiring every detail about it. After a short moment, as you realized he had felt silent, you spoke again, a wave of boldness crashing onto you. He had made a step towards you, now it was your turn.
"Arthur... The words you said to me last night..." You began, your eyes slowly ascending to look at his again. To your surprise, you found him looking away.
Another hint, another glimmer of the internal storm of emotions Arthur was feeling right now. Your own heart started to beat faster; the blood flooding so fast in your veins at this point you're wondering how the hell your body is keeping it all up together without collapsing under the pressure.
Arthur doesn't answer. Instead, he simply looks back at you, a flash of apprehension in his turquoise diamonds. He stays silent, unable to say anything more. His own heart must be on the verge of bursting cause you recognize the faintest of red on his own cheeks and a little vein on his temple. What a sight, to have this grown man, one of the stronger men in the gang, probably the fastest gunslinger of the State, blushing because of you.
"Those words were true, right?" You finish your sentence with an encouraging expression and the softest smile you had.
Arthur exhaled, closing his eyes for just a few seconds before planting them back into yours and nodding. Still silent, still stoic, still nervous. The slight blush was unhurriedly spreading on his face just like a flaming stain of watercolor on a canvas. Your very own art piece.
"I love you too, Arthur." You finally confided to him, voice soft and low, as if it was a confession you would have told him in the middle of the night, intimate as secrets you'd both tell each other in the ear while lying together in the same bed, arms interlaced, heart intertwined, as everything around you both would disappear. And in the moment, for Arthur, everything did.
He carefully brought a hand on the side of your face, never breaking his deep starring until the last second, and slowly bent over to put his lips on yours. Every move he was making was measured, contained; the exact opposite of his unleashed behavior at the party. You could feel just how cautious he was in that moment, as if he was scared to hurt you, or make you flee.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, never letting go of the bouquet that was now hanging behind his back in your thankful right hand. His own was still on your head, fingers gently caressing your skin as the kiss was dragging on. His lips, although chapped, felt good against yours, taking their rightful place there.
After what felt like an eternity of sweetness, he pulled back. If you thought he was blushing before, it was nothing compared to his cheeks right now, the deep crimson shade having completely recovered the canvas. Finally, his body's muscles relaxing, his features softening, a big, wide smile appeared on his face; the same that had been haunting you since the night before. The stupid smile. Just for you.
"I love you too, for real I mean." He let out in a soft drawling voice, once you had never heard coming from him. He brought his forehead to rest against yours, closing his eyes, not even processing this was really happening.
"I hope you'll sing again for me, Arthur." You couldn't help but add, a playful tone and a slight smirk on your lips.
"For ya, maybe, sweetheart. But don't ya come complainin' about the rainin' after."
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alexging · 8 months
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sean diaz fluff alphabet (rq)
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(A) attractive - what do they find attractive about u? how do they show this?
sean is attracted to anyone or anything that deviates the norm. dyed hair, unique background/perspective, and unconventional features. literally anything u think is unattractive and not up to the beauty standard about u, he probably rlly digs it. hell draw it in his journal always! but not in a way that comes across performative—he just draws u authentically. he doesnt feel the need to modify how u look in his art bc he thinks ure perfect as is (booo corny).
he shows his attraction through flesh-blazing, skull-burning staring. he analyzes his muses thoroughly after all... he knows where all ur freckles/moles are and can draw ur smile from sheer memory. in the months that he crushed on u, u couldn’t help but feel this pestering feeling of being watched in class constantly.
hes still a dorky teenage boy so if u share the same music taste as him or have the same hobbies hell geek out!! “no way she can skate AND listens to my favorite songs…” lyla will just roll his eyes at him in response. he acts like tom from 500 days of summer 😭
(B) baby - how do they act around kids?
sean definitely says he hates kids. hell talk about how annoying they are and use daniel as an example ALWAYS. that however does not hide the fact that he is REALLY good with kids. i wouldnt say its in a fatherly way but kids tend to look up to him as a cool older brother (even when he doesnt try to be one).
sean also secretly loves it when ur good with kids, despite him allegedly hating them. he cant help but grin ear-to-ear when he sees how happy u make daniel. once he becomes self-aware he tries to wipe his smile off asap. when u, sean, and daniel go out u guys are practically his parents. both of u know how to shut down daniels whining fast. albeit sean does more of the hushed, frustrated demands and u just try to defuse daniel.
(if u guys have ever seen the video of jake and tara with that baby thats how i imagine u guys with kids 😈 except ur both a mix of tara n jake)
(C) cuddle - how do they like to cuddle?
honestly the two of u can never decide who’s big spooning and who’s little spooning. to solve this issue the two of u just kind of… stack on top of each other.
esteban will do his routine dad check up on the two of u (preventing teen pregnancy) and walk into u guys jenga-ed on top of each other. ur legs are a tangled mess and u look like two corpses laid on top of each other. scrolling through ur phones while stacked is the go-to. ull be muffled chuckling into sean’s stomach at random videos for an hour…
while cuddling sean always traces little drawings/words on ur body. when u ask him whats hes drawing hell probably say its a dick LMFAO. so romantic 🙄
at the beginning of ur relationship, sean always felt the need to be the “man” and cradle u like some big infant. overtime he got more comfortable and whenever u guys watch movies on the couch hell be sprawled out on top of ur lap. one arm up supporting his head and a leg propped up like a princess xoxo
(D) dates - what are dates with them like? what do they like to do?
concerts, fairs!!! and MOVIES for sure
sean casually drops half his check on good seats for one of ur guys favorite band. the two of u have a tradition of replaying their music for weeks until the concerts about to start. it literally does not matter how many times uve gone to concerts with sean—u guys stay excited every single time. the after concert high is so good and u guys always kiss in the car afterwards. the two of u mess up each other’s hair and shuffle back in ur seats with swollen lips. sean backs out the parking lot while awkwardly clearing his throat 😭
SEAN IS SUCH A BIG FAIR GUY. he gives less than two shits if the pop-up fairs are shady and will probably collapse at the slightest gust of wind. he WILL take u on all the janky rides and tease u for being freaked out. he holds ur hand while giggling like a lil boy on the ferris wheel bc the creaking starts to freak the both of u out. he also tries to win fair prizes for u and say its a “bullshit scam” when he loses.
u beg him to go into the photobooth and take cute little couple-esque photos. he says “fineee” after some convincing with a smile and he avoids ur gaze after too. he definitely secretly wanted to the whole time though!! when they print out, they come out with those face-adjusting filters. u guys are WHEEZING laughing in front of the slot where they regurgitate out those abominations. sean puts it on the back of his phone case bc he thinks its so hilarious 😭
sean is a film nerd considering he had goodlands on his laptop. hes definitely up to date on any movie releases and will want to watch anything new with u. u guys always dissect the movie aggressively afterwards. the both of u will forever and always argue about which characters u liked and didnt over some takeout.
(E) equal - are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
sean on the regular is passive. he never was the “dominant” type to like… back u into corners. in fact he was really awkward when u first met him. hes lowkey scared of women 😭
it took him a while to get comfortable/assertive. by “comfortable” i mean gaining the ability to tease u back LMAO. when he first gave u a snarky remark ur jaw kind of hung open and u guys HAVENT STOPPED SINCE. overall, sean usually was the one to wait for u to initiate something. he never wanted to put u in a situation ud be uncomfortable with.
(F) fight - would they be easy to forgive their s/o? how are they fighting?
u guys fight like an old married couple. playful arguments always happen but once it becomes serious/personal things go south. one thing leads to another and the two of u just get agitated with each other
when u guys do seriously fight sean eventually lets u have ur way ALWAYS. he always prioritizes what u need/feel in the end and is really good at saying sorry. a part of him feels like big fights indicate ull leave him so hell always choke out things like “i just dont wanna lose you” after arguments. it sounds really dramatic but he has DEEP-rooted abandonment issues. hell hold u—whether it be an embrace or ur hand just to feel comforted afterwards.
(G) gentle - how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?
GAWWWWWWWWWDAUH sean is so incredibly very gentle. sure, he teases u sometimes but in the end, again, he always makes sure ur comfortable! he asks u if ur okay when u look clearly overstimulated/out of it.
physically, sean doesnt mess around. he will constantly playfully shove u, mess with ur hair, etc. obviously its never to the point where it hurts but this is the only way he can get his daily dose of pda, so!
(H) hugs - do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?
sean is crazy on back hugs. he will always surprise u with one and he WILL trap u in it. ull be walking around his house and chatting with his leech-self wrapped around u. he likes nuzzling his nose in and u can feel his lips curl into a smile on the nape of ur neck when u make a joke (😢)
sean takes the opportunity to embrace u at any moment of privacy hes given. when daniel or esteban catches him he immediately flings off u and starts stuttering LMAO. hes kind of lanky so if anything his clothes are what cushion u. BUT he is very warm and is a personal heater #tbh. who needs a coat when u have sean???
(I) i love you - how fast did they say the l-word?
i feel sean is VERY quick to fall in love but takes forever to actually utter the words out. he will have a love at first sight moment with u and only have the feelings grow bigger and bigger as time goes on. sean is overall a reserved person and wouldnt go out of his way to tell u, no matter how much lyla encouraged him.
he would only say it once it becomes overbearing for him. like, to the point where the extent he loves u has become pervasive and PERSISTENT. it will just explode out of him at some pivotal moment. u guys will be laughing hysterically at something only u guys would laugh at. then, boom, it slips out like its something he had to swallow back down a hundred times before. because its so sudden, it will definitely catch u off guard.
he would repeat it because he didnt think u heard it the first time like a dork. his stomach acid is doing fucking somersaults at this point. u will visibly see this guy’s face drop and his hands start to fiddle anxiously. his eyes will kind of dart all over ur shocked face in fear. he’ll choke a lil “sorry i have no clue why i even said that-“
u lean in and the rest is history 🤓
(J) jealousy - how jealous do they get? when do they get jealous?
sean is always a bit wary of specific guy friends or potential suitors u have in ur life. again, sean picks up on LOTS that most people brush over. he knows when people flirt with u and he always bites his tongue before he says anything.
whenever u talk about other people too much, he gets a little… sassy. ull be thanking some guy in ur class for giving u the answers and hell be grumbling “i wouldve gave them to u…” under his breath. u shoot a look at him and he just defensively puts his arms up LMAO. he never seems to stop either. the amount of times u caught him rolling his eyes… criminal.
(K) kisses - what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss u? where do they like to be kissed?
sean is so shy when it comes to kisses. when u first began dating, sean never kissed u without a shy “can i?” before. he never knew when was appropriate or if u wanted to kiss him at all. his ears would flare up in red and his eyebrows would furrow in concentration each time.
overtime, as he got more comfortable, sean began finding the “right times” himself. whenever u leave his house he always gives u a quick peck. daniel never misses his opportunity to scream “EWW” as loud as he can. sean will be like “one more” and smooch ur cheek and then say “wait another one” and just KEEP GOING. if he wore lipstick u would look like u were dunked in a pig’s blood.
smiling into the kiss happens without fail—every single time. sean cant help himself, hes a lover boy!! he will always slowly open his eyes and pray u wont catch him sneaking a look. once he pulls away, he laughs while covering his mouth with his wrist. he gets butterflies still, no matter how many times u kiss 😭 im sick.
(L) love language - what is his love language?
sean’s family is big on quality time so he definitely prioritizes it. impromptu hangouts are his absolute favorite and if he could, hed spend every hour he could with u. sean never fails to randomly invite u over and hold u at gunpoint to do family time with him, daniel, and esteban.
also sean is a big gift giver! he will always give u doodles of ur favorite characters and little things that remind him of u. u guys have matching pins, keychains, bracelets, etc. not only does he go all out, but he also knows EXACTLY what u like. again, sean is the most attentive bf ever. hes the kind of man who would spend hours making coraline dolls of u two.
(M) mornings - how are mornings spent with him?
sean is not a morning person. he is almost always running late to first period, so oftentimes u cover for him. he will come to class with messy hair and will lizard-blink at literally anything u say. when u tell him that u gave the teacher an excuse, hell let out a croak-ey "thanks" and he will on a 99% chance knock out right after. he'll probably dazily open his eyes at u every so often and go back to sleep LMAO.
on weekends, sean will... barely be awake for mornings. ull be up and ready, watching hawt dawg man on the couch with daniel while eating cereal. sean shortly comes out of his mancave, stretching and yawning. hell come to lean on ur shoulder and stare blankly at the screen. its never particularly productive but sean couldnt care less honestly.
(N) nicknames -what does he call u?
sean has a disdain for nicknames. uttering any of them out loud just seemed so embarrassing to him… unless he’s making fun of them. he does however love “girlfriend.” its not exactly a nickname but he loves saying ur his girlfriend or “my girlfriends coming over” to people.
at a certain point he started using it in sentences that wouldn’t make sense. he’d go “hi girlfriend” every time he sees u. he’s so stew peed… 😢
(O) on cloud nine what is he like when he’s in love? is it obvious for others?
lyla never hears the end of u. shell be talking about something entirely unrelated and sean will be disassociating with his mouth open. when he finally snaps back into reality the first thing that comes out of his mouth is “do u think she would find it a turn off that u drive me everywhere?…“
“yeah obviously— were u even listening sean?”
“mm okay…” he just goes back to tuning her out again LMAO.
esteban will be asking for his tools from sean and he’d be totally zoned out just thinking about u. esteban will pull himself out from under the car and groan “augh… lover boy…” without sean even saying anything to him… so yes hes obvious.
(P) pda - is he upfront about your relationship? does he brag about you with others? or he rather shy to kiss, etc. when others are watching?
i already wrote on this but sean would rather keep intimate contact privately. that is, unless hes really in the heat of the moment. for example, at a concert hed just get so riled up. the lyrics of the song perfectly aligning with the way he feels about u MIGHTTT just make him collide lips with u, who knows! at special moments he won’t hesitate to kiss u but he’s just usually not a show-ey person.
too many times have the two of u attempted to sneak away to be romantic alone and gotten caught. whether it be lyla, esteban, daniel, or any of sean’s guy friends—they always tease u guys. lyla is so dramatic and she’d probably do the most, screaming and squawking when all she sees is sean hugging u 😭
(Q) quizzes - how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?
just like i mentioned earlier, sean remembers every little thing. he knows which side of ur smile leans more toward, the distinctive mole on ur arm, etc etc etc. he loves u like how a husband with a camcorder loves his late wife <3
sean has pulled multiple joe goldbergs before u started dating. he will give u some small knick knack of ur favorite video game/show/band and ull thank him, visibly confused on when u mentioned it. hell notice and just go “i heard u talk about it like three months ago.” he only realizes HOURS LATER how creepy he sounded and his ass will start sliding down a wall dramatically in his room.
(R) rosy - what makes them blush?
sean is quick to blush. honestly, any time u guys are intimate in any sort of way his ears are probably burning up. he’ll try to hide that he’s nervous by giving u quick one-liners back but inside his heart is RACING.
(S) security - how protective are they? how would they protect you?
sean goes to great lengths to protect people he loves, like u. in relation to actual life is strange 2 lore, sean definitely does anything in his power to not involve u in the incident. if u try to contact him or find him, he’ll probably be EXTREMELY upset. at first, all he can think about is how much he wants u away from all this mess. he just wants u to live a normal life—and if that meant being far away from him he’d be okay with it. u would beg him to let u back in his life and eventually, with much hesitation, he’d oblige. keeping u alongside daniel on the road allowed u to see another side to sean. he had been hit and came back up so many times just for u. all he wants in his life is to keep u safe.
exempt from life is strange 2 lore, sean always does little things to keep u safe. there are many times where he treats u like daniel—aka a big baby LMAO. he’s big on acts of service as well so he’ll always make u walk on the inside of the sidewalk, hold ur hair away from ur face when it’s windy, help u jump off of places too high up, etc.
(T) try - how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?
he’s so bf coded of course he puts maximum effort at all times! he gets crafty for you every anniversary—a collection of drawings of u and a curated playlist/burnt cd is the MINIMUM he’s capable of. he’s the kind of boyfriend that can actually pick up on subtleties. something u mentioned liking once? it’s now in his cart.
when sean feels like switching it up he’ll try to do things he’s not used to like pottery and completely fail 😭. he has some place in the back of his closet for all the clunky diy gifts he’s tried to make for u in the past. despite this, he’ll give u a perfect trinket dish and u’ll wonder how he’s so good at everything… well, one day in his room he’ll ask u to go get something from his closet. u go inside and see a cardboard box with 15 versions of that very same trinket dish he made.
(U) understanding - how well do they know their partner?
sean does his best at understanding you as a person. when u talk about complicated emotions and unique experiences he doesn’t quite share, he’ll have this really pensive expression. he nods along and tries to understand ur perspective to the best of his ability. because of this, its really easy to open up to sean.
sean has you down to a T. hes so so so perceptive and knows when u feel uncomfortable. a small falter in ur smile, the glossy glint in ur eyes, ur lip quivering, he sees it ALL. he will immediately try to get u out of whatever situation ure in.
(V) vanity - how concerned are they with looks?
he could give less than two farts tbh. he loves when u look like a mess, more drawing opportunities for him. he however will make a big deal about looking good in front of u. he will be styling his hair for an hour in front of the mirror before going on a date with u, hogging the bathroom. he also practices the way he approaches u and lays out his outfits to impress u LMAO.
(X) xtra headcanon
sean loves cats so much. if u have a cat, he will spend the whole time at ur house trying to befriend them. bro will be crawling all over ur house on all fours... it gets to the point where u guys can never pass by a petsmart without sean making an impromptu visit to see the cats. plus, u guys have matching cat profile pictures!!!
(Y) yearning - how will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
sean coops up and calls and texts u as much as u can. its to the extent where he will send u nonsensical texts just so he can open ur guys' chat. ur phone will be vibrating so much and out of curiosity ull open it to just see random symbols and letters strung together. he'll send u random photos throughout the day that remind him of u and make unplanned video calls. u guys do mundane tasks together in silence for HOURS. they never fail to end with him just falling asleep on call.
(Z) zzz - what are their sleep habits?
sean is NOT a morning person. because daniel’s usually the one that wakes him up, he will slam a pillow into ur face when ur just trying to wake him up. he will open his eyes to see u and mumble a “shit sorry…” and snake his hand around u back into bed. he will hold u PRISONER under those sheets. if u try to shuffle out he will snake another arm around u. u're essentially held hostage until sean decides he wants to set u free... cruel world.
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unfortunately i feel like this is very lackluster and COULDVE BEEN BETTER idk. also not proofread so sorry if this was... inchuresting to read... it also sucked me dry so i think i may have to start writing ACTUAL fanfics instead of hcs😢😢😢 thank u if u did enjoy though...
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dazednstoned · 1 year
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Modern Rdr2 hcs:
-Abigail dresses like it's the 2000s (I'm talking miniskirts, low rise jeans, heeled flip flops w the fucking sparkles). She will never change too.
-Charles and Arthur go on dates to those adoption events to pet all the dogs and cats
-the whole gang frequently gathers for family bbqs. Every time someone ends up getting punched, passing out, or storming off
-Abigail puts Jack on one of those backpack leashes for kids (John too if we're being honest)
-Tilly, Karen, and Marybeth do full goodwill, garage sale, and vintage market days. They do not mess around either
-the only thing hosea knows how to do on his phone is play chess
-Sean still can't read in modern time
-john plays guitar and writes really horrible love songs for Abigail
-Javier and john r for sure in a band together, they're pretty good when they sing the songs Javier wrote
-Lenny and Sean co-parent an extremely neglected widgetable
-Arthur listens to facebook reels on full volume in public w no shame. Isaac is mortified every time
-john has various tattoos, half of them are god awful. He definitely got Abigail's name or initials tattooed somewhere and she was livid
-Karen gives herself piercings with a really shitty piercing gun
-arthur and John work together in construction, an auto shop, or in the equestrian field.
-Dutch has a very rigid and lengthy skincare routine
-john uses 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner, but he says it's 3 in 1 bc it also counts as bodywash
-Tilly is the only one of her family to graduate college (Arthur dropped out of hs when Eliza got pregnant and john never went)
-Hosea is one of those old people you just see walking around the neighborhood at like 8am
-john and Arthur don't wear sunscreen or put on lotion. Abigail sometimes manages to force some sunscreen on John's face before he goes to work tho
-bill refuses to go to gay bars but uses Grindr
-Abigail cuts John and Jack's hair bc she refuses to pay for something she thinks she can do herself (she cannot do it herself)
-Kieran is a hair braiding god. I'm talking French braids, fish tails, you name it.
-john owns a really shitty pick up truck. Jack was either conceived or birthed in the backseat of it (maybe both)
-Sean falls for those free iPhone scams every time
-the only videogame charles plays is stardew valley. He thought it would be relaxing, it wasn't.
-Tilly and Mary Beth are in a book club together
-Abigail is the type of parent to not let her kid play w nerf guns or watch pg13 movies (John is the exact opposite)
-Sadie spends her weekends at rage rooms
-everyone's fridges are covered in drawings Jack made for them
-John, Javier, and Sean game together. Violence always ensues
-dutch does not tip waiters
-john tried to play catch w Jack once and ended up getting hit in the groin by a baseball. He didn't know 4 yr olds could throw that hard
-Abigail and Karen (& sometimes Charles) drink cheap wine together every Sunday and discuss the dumb things their boyfriends did that week
-Lenny and Hosea do the wordle everyday
-Jack is in little league soccer. John sits back drinking a beer as Abigail shouts at the referee
-Abigail got a tramp stamp of a little bow when she was 17 (she regrets it)
-Hosea exclusively sends emails
-Abigail hides John's weed socks bc she doesn't want Jack to see and "fall into a life of drugs" when he's older
-Arthur is a hiking dad through and through. While John is a sit on the couch drinking a beer w his kid in his lap kinda dad
-uncle is the old drunk that lived in the same trailer park as Abigail and John did when Jack was a baby. He kinda just stuck around after
-Miss Molly O'Shea would be a makeup god and u cannot convince me otherwise
I might do a pt 2 late in the future!
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cirrostrata · 9 days
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i need to talk about how insane this line makes me
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but to do that i need to explain the context around it first. so in the google drive (PLEASE READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T IT'S VERY IMPORTANT GO TO LOVEOFTHE > S*N > LUMYNEX > OPERATORS) michael has one patient other than charger block listed but it's just
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this
so there's some implications there.
as of right now we don't know how or why michael's other patient (who i will call 0001) was terminated, or what termination means, but we can make some assumptions.
i'm guessing that termination means getting deleted from existence. maybe your soul gets erased or something idk point is that 0001 is gone now
lumynex probably doesn't just terminate patients for no reason, so 0001 must've broken a rule or found out something they shouldn't have, resulting in their termination.
speaking of rules. isn't there someone who's super strict about following them?
yeah this explains a lot about why michael is like that. maybe michael was less strict before 0001 was terminated, but now she's trying to follow the rules as closely as possible so that she doesn't lose someone again.
it would also explain his standoffish attitude. maybe he's intentionally trying to push people away so that if (when) he messes up again he won't have anyone to lose.
speaking of people who are being pushed away,
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sean! ^_^
that line implies that sean, michael, and noah used to be close friends, but something caused them to drift apart. the something being 0001's termination
we know Literally Nothing about noah right now, and i've already explained how it affected michael, but what about sean?
i think that sean wants things to be the way they were before 0001 was terminated. my evidence:
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sean sent crown to cb's earth despite being very aware that it's against the rules. one of his first thoughts after getting a new patient was how it would involve michael. she's so desperate to reconnect with them it's insane
and that brings us back to this
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the way sean emphasizes the "best friend" part while POINTING AT MICHAEL. she's barely even talking about crown and cb here this is about them
and she's bringing this up by saying she's a better operator than michael! he knows they're insecure about that especially after 0001 was terminated! sean is trying everything she can to get michael to listen to her but they keep pushing her away! I'm not normal about this guys
she wants to make sure cb and crown stay friends because she doesn't want their relationship to end up like hers and michael's. she's projecting SO HARD right now
i think sean sees cb and crown as them and michael before 0001 was terminated. they're invested in their relationship because they see it as how things could've been if 0001 still existed
cb and crown's (after)lives have been permanently altered because of who their operators are. if 0001 wasn't terminated, crown never would've met cb.
can't wait to see how they react to this information!
okay that's everything thank you for listening to my rambling byeeeee
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malues · 25 days
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HAIII!! I was super fixated on LOTS during my exams and it almost cost me. But it helped relieve stress at least :D ANYWAY. I got stuff I wanna say, and it’s nice to have a main creator’s opinion. But pls correct or change my headcannons or anything, I do like accuracy. :p Apologies if this is long (I literally hv no other ppl to talk ab LOTS stuff like this with)
I see Michael and CB always hv sharp teeth when rlly upset, and I interpret CB’s lil bump in his teeth as a fang. Is that a good interpretation to have? I like the idea of those two being an intimidating sharp teeth duo
Semi-related to above, I like to think operators and their patients are very super similar. Like they’re sort of fated to be that patients operator for a reason yk? Like Michael and CB mirror each other a lot in their own way, yet are so opposite. And it seemed that PB was clean and stuff, but his operator wasn’t (rlly cool mirroring). Crown and Sean just compliment each other and get along great. I’m also mostly fixated on Michael’s and CB’s dynamic, Michael and CB being a complete mental mess in their own rights, and little things like Michael likes rabbits and CB bunny ears jokes :> I also like the idea CB holds a form of resentment cuz his friends get chiller operators and he was instead locked up for months.
Also Michael seems like the type to get over-stimulated and lash out, or collapse onto herself. Would she pace around? (If so, I like to think she holds her pinwheel top still cuz it’ll spin from the air yk and it would be more over-stimulating) Does she pen click when frustrated? Does she chew? Or does she mess with her pinwheel pieces>
I also like the idea that CB throws tantrums and is prone to unintentionally lashing out, he’s over-energetic and he can’t help it. Like he lashes out at crown and his operator. Would his lashing out come from stress, fear or anxiety?
I think that’s mostly it. Uhhhh my only complaint is you should’ve made PB cry in episode 1c, I wanna see TEARS lol
Ok thank u! I’m excited for more episodes, livestreams, videos and whatever else u hv planned ^.^
I LOVE ALL UR THOUGHTS!!! ill try to answer these without giving too much away
the fangs/bumps in a characters teeth is less of an actual trait and more of a little thing i draw whenever i feel like itd be funny to show on screen, but more detailed interpretations of that are fine by me!
the relationship between operator and patient is really hard to explain, especially in a general sense. i wouldnt call it fate COMPLETELY but the patient that an operator is assigned isnt COMPLETELY random either if that makes any sense. im happy u noticed the similarities between cb and michael, and we'll get to see a lot more of their relationship as the episodes go on. both of them are very prone to lashing out if in the right context but for their own reasons. the lashouts originate from a lot of mixed emotions, but i think part of it comes from both of them thinking "Why am i stuck with this asshole?"
also i agree that i shouldve made pb cry in 1c. when faeb did those lines i was taken aback cause i didnt expect him to sound like hes on the verge of tears!!!! but i guess it makes sense
thank you for your kind words!! im excited for everyone to see whats next for the show
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jesncin · 15 days
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Re: the whole Si Spurrier Bi/Pan Johnstantine debacle thing
For context, Spurrier (the writer of the current Hellblazer run) explicitly had John self identify as pansexual in narration despite John being canonically bisexual. The cover of the issue (I believe this was the artist's intention, but can't confirm) also evoked the bi flag colors in its colorscheme. When asked about this on twidder, Spurrier doubled down (paraphrasing: "John shouldn't have any queer label, he's bad representation"), deleted tweets, and just left fans in a mess.
My tldr take: John Constantine is bisexual. Spurrier didn't and doesn't know the difference between bi and pan, mixed them up and spouted respectability nonsense to cover himself. He's an old man who doesn't fyuck with gay people, simply. I don't think he has deep seated hatred for the bi community or anything. He made a mistake (still a bad one) and didn't apologize for it. Shame this is the author spearheading such a prominent queer character.
The long take:
I see a lot of people bringing up modern media that reaffirms John's bisexuality but I believe it's important to look at the historical context.
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John Constantine in his original Vertigo Hellblazer run was an inherently counter-culture character. A working class guy growing up in the punk scene, aligning himself with queer people, explicitly ACAB, a rebuttal to the classic Superhero tropes, etc. It's only fitting that Constantine's bisexuality was revealed in a similarly counter-culture manner. Under guest writer John Smith (and artist Sean Phillips and colorist Tom Zuiko), John just casually mentions having "the odd boyfriend" in passing narration about his struggles with commitment. This may not seem like a big deal with today's standards, but it's important to recognize that this issue came out in 1992. Hellblazer already had a handful of queer characters at this point and suddenly after years of queer coding, the main character just reveals his bisexuality in passing.
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So that's the historical context in our comics world, how about within the canon of Hellblazer? Well, John was born in 1953 in Liverpool, meaning he was a teen in the 60s, formed and toured with Mucous Membrane all over the UK but mostly London during the 70s (as a young man in his 20s). When we cross reference that with what's going on in the UK queer scene at this time, it's no wonder why John is presumed to be bisexual.
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[From Stonewall UK]
In the same article, Stonewall mentions that the term "pansexual" became popular in the 90s. While this aligns with when issue #51 reveals Constantine's "odd boyfriend" comment, it's clear that the term "bisexual" would be the term Constantine grew up with during his formative years. While this distinction might seem unnecessary or even arbitrary to some people, these identities do matter in their nuance and historical context. Identities and histories are not interchangeable after all. With all this context in mind, to me, John Constantine will always be bisexual.
To Spurrier's comment on "John Constantine shouldn't have any label anyway, he's bad representation/role model for any identity" (paraphrasing, I know he probably said this in a defensive moment since if he truly believed this then he wouldn't have explicitly had Constantine refer to himself as pansexual in Dead in America #7), I think using respectability in defense of a character as counter-culture as Constantine is a demonstrable example of Missing The Dang Point.
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[from Nerdist article written by Jules Greene]
Spurrier, the gays like John Constantine especially in his og Hellblazer run because he wasn't a walking Pride ad. We like that he's a mess. We like that he's working class. We like that he's messed up and painfully human. If you don't understand that about Constantine, then you fundamentally misunderstand why people find him so appealing to begin with.
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hotxcheeto · 9 months
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Could you write something soft about Sean Diaz having a crush on someone?
━ 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐃𝐀𝐘
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𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Sean Diaz x G/N!reader
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing? Maybe?
𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope
𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - happy holidays!!
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"What?"
Sean blinked a few times, looking over your face as you giggled.
You had been talking, he knew that. You started off by rambling about the bonfire that you were thinking about having. Then on about how you would love if Sean and his little brother, who wasn't so little as he claimed, could come.
Now he had no idea what you just said.
"I asked you if you'd maybe wanna come over to mine this weekend for a movie night?" Sean blinked at you spoke, nodding his head despite still taking in exactly what you said. "Just us two?" It was your turn to make the silence heavy, humming.
"I mean if you want to... I wasn't going to invite anyone else."
Sean watched as you looked down to mess with your fingers. He suddenly felt very put on the spot, and horrible. God, what did you say before that? He bet you sounded sweet while asking. And now here he was staring at you like you were stupid.
"Yeah, yeah no that sounds- that sounds great." You both shifted, your laugh like music to his ears as he felt his cheeks heat up. He was blushing bad, and he was very grateful that it was hard to tell.
"Really?"
"Yeah, it sounds dope." Dope? Really Sean? "I was thinking about asking you to do something like that, but you beat me to it."
He wished that then and there he had a camera in his hand to catch the way your face lit up. The confidence suddenly finding him again.
"Yeah.. just didn't know if you'd want to, y'know?" He scratched the back of his neck, watching as you gave him a grin that would have him happy for the next month. "Well I do, so I'll see you Saturday?"
He choked on nothing, moving his head in what he hoped was a 'yes' motion as he locked eyes with your bright ones.
"Yeah, yeah Saturday. See you... then."
He was just glad he didn't do the finger guns again.
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nephilimbrute · 7 months
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ur agents in particular FASCINATE me so so much i love your interpretations of them. could u tell us more about them and their stories? particularly 8, theyre so interesting!!! why do they hate marina? what happened between them and 3? what’s their relationship like with 4? anything you wanna say abt them, i’d love the infodump
omgosh....😇
a few days ago i wrote a thing that like. detailed stuff about major events with 8. i'll paste them here
agent 8 during the entire course of Octo Expansion was extremely shaken up. they couldn't think straight at all, leaving them vulnerable. sanitized cap3 wasn't much different too, she still had some control over herself and she never wanted to fight 8, making the battle between them long and confusing. eventually 8 gave up and walked up to her, ripping the sanitized goop right off her head (which, to cap3, felt like shoving a screwdriver into her eye)
during the inner agent 3 fight, was unconscious, so this was more like a a made-up battle. this 3 (dubbed enigma3) was formed out of cap3's repressed traits of herself and how 8 sees her, rather than being the 3 that 8 saw fight octavio. she's quiet, cold, confusing, and only wants to play mind games with 8. she never really left 8's conscience, but only appears when agent 8 is deathly worried about cap3
after the events of Octo Expansion, 8 absolutely adored marina. they were still a little shy though, so when marina wanted to talk to them they would kind of freak out. marina didn't mind though, and they were able to get to know each other somewhat, with 8 adapting some of marina's traits and behaviors. 8 had nowhere else to go other than sleeping behind crusty sean's food truck and park benches, so pearl let them stay with him and marina for 2 months. after those two months, pearl got in touch with agent 4 via marie (making him fawn all over meeting off the hook) and asked 4 if he could let 8 stay over (since pearl felt like they were watching him in his sleep) and fortunately, 4 said yes
after 8's mind finally clears up they start to question what's wrong with them and feel the weight of overthinking, which sends them spiraling down for the years to come (presumably the effects of tartar messing with their brain). 8 relentlessly questions cap3, rarely leaving her alone, and in turn it affects their relationship with cap3 in a negative way. when asked why they're so curious, 8 goes silent and refuses to answer
(small bit about cap3) cap3 feels like she's at fault for how 8 turned out since they started breaking after OE. she tries to make it up for them but she thinks she's only ruining them. her expectations for herself are set higher and higher, yet nothing she does is good enough. she won't give herself a break, beating herself up over every little detail and being highly critical to the point where she's stuck in a loop of self-destruction and loathing
8 slowly loses their trust in things and those they love, becoming scared and paranoid. it wasn't until side order that this was more prevalent.
in side order (AU), 8 has lost most of their memories, and the moments with the other agents and idols still remain but just barely. 8 is afraid of marina and has a deep dislike for her, but this was due to them not thinking for themself, instead listening to their gut. their brain fog is back more than ever, and whenever they try to walk for prolonged amounts of time they end up stumbling to their knees.
they can no longer tell the difference between reality and fiction. it's all a blur to them. they can feel marina's eyes everywhere. they can barely remember if who or what meant something, anything, to them. though having a deep dislike for marina, they want to be held by her. to be loved like a child. they never ask her of anything, instead just letting it burn into their brain until it breaks them completely. they want attention but they fear they'll be seen as needy and annoying. they want to apologize for everything and be forgiven. 8 doesn't know who is who, they've been copied so much they're just deemed a blank slate to be imprinted on. they watch everything disappear from their hands, unable to do anything about it. from being excited about what's to come in the near future, to being scared about losing the present and wanting to go back to the past
and then here's another little bit about 8 in side order: represents a crumbling mental state, begging for reassurance, desperately trying to hold on to fleeting memories. their trust is lost in everything but they want it all to return to normal, struggling to accept the fact that it never will
then about marina: represents a mother figure somewhat, but even she still fails to live up to that role fully. she distances herself from 8 who is always going after her just to be comforted, yet she denies it for them. she has the same goals as 8, clinging on to the present and never embracing change, but doing so only harms her and others and this behavior continues on and on
+ marina doesn't want to interact with 8 because she sees her younger self in them, she refuses to go back to that era of her life and 8 keeps promising her they'll be what she wanted to be. anything for them to be accepted, to be held in loving arms again. the lack of communication between them makes their relationship even more strained. but clearly marina still cares about 8, they were the only one to be let out of her mind control. she wanted to check on them and make sure they're okay, but what she got in return was someone that hated her
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^^ their relationship is basically like this. constantly wanting to communicate with the other but being pushed away, they never fill each other's voids
onto agent 4 and 8... they have a relatively healthy relationship. 4 is 8 (and cap3)'s shoulder to cry on, he always tries his best to help them with whatever. since him and 8 both like off the hook, they'd talk about them non stop. 8 likes to give 4 details about how oth are off-stage since 8 frequently hangs out with them and stuff
4 appears as parallel canon in side order, but instead of other copies of himself, the other robots resemble agent 8 and cap3. they all circle 8 and mock them for forgetting everything about themself and their significant others, much like inner agent 3
nd i don't think i got anything else to say about those 3......that's all^_^ i'm soooo normal i'm normal
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m1ssunderstanding · 6 months
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 4.1
This is embarrassing but I'm actually so obsessed with the first five minutes of this episode that I've got it bookmarked in my YouTube account. It's just so perfect!
“Say you don't looooove him, my salamander. Then why did you neeeeeeed him? Ono don't answer.” He genuinely thinks need and love are the same and I really hope he's got therapy for that messed up mindset by now.
Officially honored as the most successful musical composer and recording artist of all time. That damn well better be mentioned in his movie. And people still don't take him seriously. But also. John definitely smashed his TV.
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I'm screaming. I love Linda the promoter so fucking much!! Interviewer: I knew a lot of your records had went gold and platinum and– Linda: a lot of them? All of them! Ugh I wish she was still with him now.
And then THIS! “What really happened between you and John?” As the first notes to “I Will Survive” play. It's too good. Everyone has to go watch that bit right now.
Linda coming in for the kill again with her fake posh accent: critics? Critics? Oooooh! … They're always three years behind.
Look at him (to the tune Bitch by Meredeth Brooks) he's a whore, he's a father, he's a star, he's a success, he's a lover he's smug, he's laughing, he's having fun, he's working hard. He's everything.
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Interviewing Wings concert goers and this one girl goes, "oh I just got off on all of it" and another one goes “It was great, i came twice!” Literally it should've been me!!!!
The McCartneys are seriously such a big family. And it's been Paul's responsibility since was about 21, really, to make sure they're all okay financially. That Francie story of him crumbling in the street in Liverpool haunts me.
"Why shouldn't they go to the same school as everyone else goes to?" State schools should be the only legal schools btw.
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I love what the creator does to contextualize their songs by pairing them with other contemporary footage. It makes it much easier for me to understand why something like “arrow through me” (which I love but none of the people I've shown it to do) would've been so popular.
Oh here we go again. Just show us the marriage certificate already.
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Cackling at the contrast between “Old Siam Sir” which is one of my all time fav rockers and footage of the Stones being cringe AF and Dylan being so beyond done he's basically dead.
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Oh. Okay. And then they slap us in the face with John's poor baby late 70s demo voice crooning, “Don't want your looooove. Anymore.” “I die each time I hear your name.” I'm fine. It's fine. I'm just vomiting my guts out because I'm sick. That's why.
The pairing of “Mr H Atom” with Paul's would've-been drag show is genius, but what is that clip of some sort of trial stuck in there? If anyone knows, please inform me. (16:15)
John sounds so sad talking about the “endless search for . . . Scotland . . . Within an hour of New York.” I can't help thinking of the Mull of Kintyre. But John was also the one who turned Paul on to Scotland in the first place, ≈always waxing poetic about the heather and the hills≈.
Sean is so adorable. Reminds me of my little guy a bit actually.
Why do I always want to tell Paul to be nice to John? John is worse to him. Idk maybe because John's pain is more visible.
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itty-bitty-sunshine · 7 months
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After two cups of coffee i decided to make a sillier thing than here
Still way too tired for this but have a short thingy
-
They noticed something was off the moment they came to live with you.
Back in the pizzaplex, you were practically picture perfect, there wasn't a moment you did not smile for them and were always eager to face whatever came your way with utmost energy.
Now they see your eyes, that you used to always hide, regardless of the hour of the day, and they look so tired. They cannot phantom how those can possibly be the same. When they moved in, you waited till they grew used to the place and then you made sure to fall face down on the bed and not wake up for another entire week.
You still smile, you still help them in everything, there is not a thing they ask of you that you do not get them. But the drop on your shoulders looks alien on you.
You had built them two whole new bodies, maybe that's why you're so tired. When did you even have time for that, anyway?
Or maybe it's the house. It sounds like nonsense, but you never stayed at home much. They remember how you spent your days and nights at the plex whenever you could, and when you didn't you would be out with that Sean guy from security.
The house is wonderful, spacious, and it's clear you modified it to fit them at some point. The room you gave them is old fashioned like that of a grandma, but you said they could mess with it as they liked. In each inch of this place there is a small detail somewhere, carefully cared for and cleaned, but they noticed how the garden was overgrown.
You care so much for them but when was the last time you did something for yourself?
And so, slowly, Sun made a habit of making you food. He learned all recipes on the book, and asked you to get him more. Each day he makes something new, and when you don't feel like eating, he cuts you a fruit. He lost count of the days they both had to grab you in your wandering in the woods with promises of snacks.
Moon never knew how bad you could be when it came to keeping track of the passage of time until you left the strict work routine of the plex. You would spend your entire day doing one thing, forgetting to eat even when they brought you food, and only stop when he forcefully would come to pick you up late at night. So he created a routine himself — he started dragging you to take a shower with him at the end of the afternoon, following you on walks so he'll be less bored and playing on the trees with you. You know it's time for bed when he tells you nighty night.
You started to get better at it when the three of you began to put mundane things on the calendar: Monday — Watch the movie Sun choose, Wednesday — walk in the city, Saturday — game night; and so on.
They have fun taking care of you, just like you have taking care of them, even if your mind is still foreign to them. You make up for the lack of kids to keep an eye on. You're not perfect like they believed, but that means you're human, despite your belief on the contrary.
They still don't know how to deal with how you wake up in the middle of the night and refuses to look Moon in the eyes when you meet him on the dark living room, or the ways you space out mid conversation with Sun like your brain and body had decided to work separately, but it's okay. You said you all had the whole eternity to figure this out, didn't you?
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verdemoun · 10 days
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Do Sean or Kieran or anyone get like flashbacks from being in reform school or the army if someone like, yells at them or something? If so, how would they, and the other gang members react? (Sorry, it’s a stupid question-)
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they proceeded to trigger each other on a regular basis.
the whole gang has ptsd. obviously. and for a lot of them, modern era was the first time they could address it. which meant. digging up a lot of stuff they thought they were over. sean and kieran in particular are dealing with a lot, but in polar opposite directions.
sean didn't go through horsemen, apocalypse. as a result, he still tends to call kieran o'driscoll. hearing o'driscoll in general puts kieran is a sub-par headspace, but with that irish twang pronounciation kieran is fucked. the first dozen of times kieran would hyperventilate so bad he would faint.
and sean takes years to unlearn the behaviour, despite only having known kieran a few months in canon era. it is not uncommon to hear 'hey o'drisc- SHIT KIERAN SORRY SORRY FUCK SORRY I MEANT KIERAN' and kieran is trying to force himself to take deep breath with tears in his eyes giving sean an awkward thumbs up he knows it was an accident
kieran's biggest trauma is being taken by the o'driscolls. war was hell, obviously, but the absolute torture he suffered at the hands of the o'driscolls both before and after the vdls. he 1. regularly wakes up screaming from nightmares and 2. often goes outside in the middle of the night for fresh air after a nightmare.
you know where else people let out blood curdling screams in the middle of the night? children being abused at reform school! you know who else slams doors at midnight? british agents breaking in to murder your da!
poor lenny wakes up to the door slamming and knows kieran is having a bad night, which he feels awful about as one of the people who didn't notice and did nothing about kieran being taken in canon era, but also sean uncontrollably sobbing because all that terror and grief from his childhood was dragged straight to the forefront of his mind and at no point in his life was he ever allowed to just cry about how much he went through.
it gets significantly easier after arthur timewarps in a way, because arthur will almost always be the first to go check on kieran when he's having a bad night. which means lenny can focus on trying to get sean to process his feelings instead of just burying it again only to have a worse response the next time he's triggered by sounds in the night or reminders like news articles or a thick irish accent or a boy playing with his father (sometimes he sees isaac and arthur playing and just needs to walk away because fuck losing his da messed him up)
arthur is also the only one who kieran has actually told in detail what happened to him after he was taken from shady belle. this proceeded to become a vicarious trauma for arthur himself. while the nightmares never go away completely - in his waking hours kieran is a gremlin of dark humor and learns to cope pretty well. this means accidentally sending arthur into a thousand yard stare when he jokingly signs 'don't lose your head'
also regularly causing each other to have flashbacks/panic attacks does not stop kieran and sean being long-lost irish brothers. sean will make sure kieran gets his extra ketchup or mashed potato instead of fries or correct new timewarpers who dare call him o'driscoll. kieran will actively listening to sean's stories about his da with stars in his eyes and let sean vent about things that happened without a horrified reaction which sean finds a lot more helpful than talking about reform school only to need to comfort lenny instead.
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p41nkillers · 1 year
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what happened to kate on oct 4?
kate said she woke up in a room and heard nathan and another person (mark jeff). MJ later blamed Nathan, saying he didnt give her enough drugs, which is why she woke up halfway through.
but lets dig a little more deeper
(note that these are all just theories & havent been confirmed, english isnt my first language but i'll try my best to explain so bare with me pls :))
....
1. nathan’s schedule (10/4-the night kate got drugged)
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thoughts: nathan and mj headed to the woods around 4am bc kate was about to be buried (if i were a madman kidnapping someone and one of my victims woke up halfway through, i know i'd be in trouble. they would recognize my face and expose me. would i simply release them just like that? absolutely the fuck not - i'd kill to silence them
….
of course, nathan being nathan was still messed up over the whole rachel situation, flipped out, fleed with kate and took her to the prescott estate. he couldnt bring her straight back to blackwell. it was too risky. why? kate might get suspicious if she wakes up and sees her entire body covered in dirt and mud. so what did nathan do? he took her to the mansion, cleaned her up, and dressed her in fresh clothes.
2. a letter from sean prescott thanking david for ‘helping’ nathan
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he then called his father, asking for david's help to drop kate back to her dorm room (before the drugs wore off) without getting hassled by security guards. this might explain the letter in EP3 from sean prescott thanking david for helping his son (someone pointed this out on reddit)
....
‘what did david do for nathan?’ he promised sean he would keep quiet about everything after kate’s suicide/attempt
3. a letter from anonymous
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“i thought about u protecting me bcs i am scared of this school" -i can confirmed 100% that this letter is from nathan he sounds like a brat chickenshit
....
we all know david set up surveillance cameras around the campus and the pan estates to keep an eye on him (nathan needs someone to protect him; probably from jefferson???) and i think david already witnessed nathan dragging kate inside it could explain why he was so obsessed with her bc hes about to discover the truth abt what went down between the two of them after the party
....
thoughts: basically i think nathan was trying to protect her from mj who wanted to kill every girls he kidnapped or maybe he just couldnt handle letting someone else become the next rachel. he thought he was doing the right thing, but we all know everything went downhill after kate's viral video
p.s - i suck at explaning, as always sorry for my sloppy english
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darkshrimpemotions · 9 months
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Laszlo cares SO MUCH and it isn't a new development in season 5, he's ALWAYS cared that much. Who he extends that care to may change over time, but like. In season 1 we see the lengths he went to trying to guard Nadja's happiness. He's killed Jeff god knows how many times, and it wasn't out of jealousy! Not with him and Nadja out here fucking and sucking everyone and anyone happily and openly. It was because having Jeff around always made Nadja unhappy eventually, and he hated that.
He gives his sappy speech at the orgy because he cares more about expressing his love for Nadja than he does about a lot of sex, despite being one of the horniest characters ever to grace the screen.
We see that he's managed to form a sincere attachment to Sean, and is deeply distressed at the thought of killing him. All the caveats that come with him being a vampire apply, of course, but he's still the first one in the house to form a sincere attachment to someone OUTSIDE of the house. And he LOVES Sean! He's always so delighted to help him in any way he can, goes out of his way to help get Sean out of the messes he gets himself into, NEVER judges him for it. He just LIKES him and accepts him for everything he is, and enjoys being there for him.
In season 3, he spends all this time with Colin Robinson, who he doesn't even like that much, bonding with him and trying to show him a good time, because he knows he's going to die soon. He wants to make Colin's remaining life as nice as possible. He wants to be there for him at the end. He prioritizes that, again, the feelings of this person he cares so much about, on his birthday and final day, over power and prestige among the wider vampire community. He initially refuses to ever go back to England because his wife was snubbed there, and he loves her SO MUCH.
Even what he did to Guillermo was out of care for Nadja. Deeply misguided, for sure, and not showing much concern for Guillermo at that point. But insert vampire caveats, the point is he CARES and tries his best to show it.
We then see him doing his best, with really no tools or skills, to raise baby Colin. Asking for help, even, when he feels he's doing it poorly. Setting aside his own expectations and even sharing memories of his own father to try and be what baby Colin needs. His whole life revolves around that kid all of season 4.
And then season 5 with Guillermo. He's the first one to notice something is off, which to me says he was keeping an eye on Guillermo. Maybe because they bonded more in season 4. Maybe because he was worried Guillermo would take the loss of baby Colin as hard as he did. But he notices.
And then when he finds out the truth, he keeps Guillermo's secret and spends months trying to help him. Despite Guillermo having done something he finds repugnant. He actually gets so invested in helping that it leaves him catatonic for days when he realizes he can't (because let's be real, that was in no way about organizing books). He then steps in to stop Guillermo's soft spot for Nandor and his trust in him from getting him killed (and secondarily, from leading to Nandor doing something he knows he'll regret). He KEEPS trying to look after Guillermo even after Nandor finds out.
He's also the one best able to give the Guide what she needs, regardless of how sincere (and I do think it was at least somewhat sincere, I can't imagine he would bestow backside compliments he didn't mean under any circumstances). He may not have decided she's one of his people yet, but he knows how to recognize what she needs and give that to her, which is more than the others are capable of in that moment.
I dunno man. Laszlo doesn't always show it well or get it right, but he cares and tries so terribly hard.
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