#like i don't think this is a stretch at all basic privacy and i'm a grown adult 😭

[houseofbrat]

So, what’s your honest opinion of the full #picturegate drama?

I’ve seen many people believing that KP used The PoW as scapegoat and she doesn’t did the photoshop. But what are your thoughts? In case some are correct, why do you think they are blaming Kate? Why not blame the ‘real’ responsible (some suggested it’s her staff)

As we have discussed, their PR team is awful, but this new nonsense takes the cake

The situation leading up to the "photo kill" I've already described here:

That basically summarizes the situation leading up to the photo and its very public dismissal.

2. One of the other problems is the staff they have working for them. Clearly the KP communications department is not up to par. It should have been the communications head/chief taking the blame for this instead of Kate. Instead, he thought that a statement from Kate would quell the drama, when all it did was pour more gasoline on the fire.

So Kate can take the blame for the photo but couldn't make any comments about any messages she received from well wishers in the previous weeks? WTF?!

But then there's KP spokesperson giving statements to People magazine today!

A palace insider downplayed the PR crisis, telling PEOPLE exclusively that although the situation is a "bump in the road, it's not an earthquake." "[Kate] has apologized and graciously so," the insider says. "She has done something that 99% of us do — and we don’t have the scrutiny that they do." "Think of the level of scrutiny of pictures of her, as people pore over them," the insider continues. "You’re always on display and always got to be perfect." The insider adds, "She might be a member of the royal family, but she’s also a human being. If you've just had an operation, you want to look your best with the first photograph that’s published for the outside world."

I'm sorry but why is this person still in the employ of Kensington Palace and why are they speaking to People magazine? "We don't have the scrutiny that they do." FUCKING DUH!! That's why all sorts of people who don't pay attention to the BRF are like, "What the actual fuck is going on over there right now???"

So the KP comms people are continuing to dig the hole they are in. They haven't stopped digging and are unlikely to do so as long as they are calling up People magazine to give them exclusives on their professional fuckups!

3. Guess who hired and continues to employ the professional fuckup?

William!

William is an emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish. And William found his perfect YES MAN to accede to his control freak nature and his unhealthy demand for privacy with Lee Thompson.

YES MAN + Control Freak - connection to reality = the mess we have today

And the mess we have today continues to roll on. And will continue to roll on. Just as it has since he was hired in 2022...

There was the fuckup at Boston in 2022 when William issued a statement throwing his godmother under the bus when all he had to say was "This is an issue for Buckingham Palace." Except he didn't.

There was the bizarre photo op of Andrew being driven to church by William last August (2023), when everyone with a working, long-term memory knows that William has never kowtowed to his father.

Kate's stretch of wearing thirteen pantsuits in a row, 'cause she was all about "the work." Somehow, she didn't go on a crusade about wearing pantsuits when she was only The Duchess of Cambridge.

Announcing Kate had "planned abdominal surgery" the day after said planned abdominal surgery. If it was "planned," then wouldn't they have said something at least the day of rather than the day after?

Then there's the timeline of fuckery that's happened from Christmas until 09 March 2024 that I collated before The 2024 Mother's Day Photo Disaster.

And it's going to keep going on and on because the root of the problem is William!

4. Then there's The Princess of Wales, aka Kate or Catherine. She is the woman with likely more sense than either Lee or William put together. Do those two fuckups listen to her? Doubtful. Did they listen to any concerns or feedback she gave these two last summer? Or fall/autumn? Also doubtful.

So there's a woman who is a globally known public figure that does not have an easy way out of the mess the two men created, and also she may share some of the blame for decisions made last summer and fall?

And it's a very depressing situation being trapped with a husband who won't listen to you and takes you for granted, yet your husband will listen to the YES MAN at his employ. Because the husband is a emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak with a privacy fetish.

A very depressing situation when she knows that her reputation of twenty plus years in the public eye is about to go down the drain as a result of the choices these two men have made. (And no, I'm not talking about the Mother's Day photo.) Gee, what kind of situation could that lead to over the holidays?

5. Then you have Charles, Camilla, and the officials working at Buckingham Palace.

They know about all the communications problems taking place at KP since last summer. Oh, they know. BELIEVE ME. They know.

Charles is someone who believes people should learn from their mistakes and isn't going to interfere in his sons' lives and mistakes. Charles resented his parents interfering in his dating life long before he ever dated or married Diana. (Sabrina Guinness, anyone?) He also resented them interfering in his marriage to Diana.

Basically, Charles won't do what one of my friends from college did: write about her college roommate's pregnancy and due date in a Christmas letter. Yup. Charles isn't that man.

So, yes, BP's communication and pr about Charles's BPH treatment and cancer treatment veers toward being over the top. They have been very transparent with the press for a reason. They know there is a metaphorical nuclear bomb about to go off due to KP's lack of transparency and accountability to the UK public. The monarchy cannot be seen as complicit in it. It is KP's problem. Always has been a KP problem.

This is why Queen Camilla made so many visits to the front entrance of The London Clinic. Transparency. Proper communication with the UK public. The public can trust that The Crown is being honest with them. Kensington Palace clearly not so much.

It's why King Charles has been photographed doing mundane things such as greeting cards and going to church.

And yes, BP communications team is undoubtedly shading the KP comms team when King Charles got photographed in a car at Windsor last week, four days after Kate's pap shot with her mother.

So yeah, we're about to get the biggest scandal since the 90s when Diana died or the War of the Waleses. Pick your throwback reference. Get your popcorn. Because it is going to be that bad.

And the reputations of Will & Kate will never be the same.

Ever.

[ppoppokari]

Hello 🤗 just came back from reading your poly hyunlix and I LOVED it. If you're up to requests, could do a poly Minsung one? Because God knows those two are my weakness

a/n~ oh my god hi!! it still surprises me that people see my writing, even if i do post it, on a public site, on the internet. but thank you so much for requesting! i was literally just talking about minsung to friend so challenge accepted!

also I'm so sorry this was overdue, the rona finally caught up with me :)

❁ when peter met rhino~ dating minsung

*siri play be mine by junji*

~sfw~

🍃minho thought love was simple, fall for one person and you are set for the rest of your life, what a clown.

🍃as soon as he realised he had it in him to pull the two people he was crushing on, he knew he was going to choose both of you.

🍃now jisung will mention it day in and day out how minho gives him butterflies and how oddly enough he likes the feeling. but don't worry, it's just his way of teasing. which is pretty obvious considering you're the one making his heart skip a beat daily.

🍃date nights are rare but when they do happen it's swoon worthy. both your boyfriends live for privacy which results in fast food on fancy plates, wine and heartfelt conversations.

🍃minho is a serial blusher, remind him to wear a coat and he turns to mush.

🍃loving the two of you actually brings minho to tears because it's the only way he can express himself. sometimes he just gets so overwhelmed with the care he receives from both of you.

🍃you basically live in the practice room, what started as you dropping something off for a forgetful jisung resulted in you staying to watch your boyfriends practice. they lied and told the company it was a once off, it wasn't.

🍃also the way you guys compliment each other is sickening, you don't even have to do anything and they will claim you're a regular genius.

🍃you want to see some heartflipping shit? just picture the random pda they bombard you with. the most outrageous being when minho will loosely link his fingers with yours.

🍃 jisung is a funny guy, but he really goes out of his way to appear as the best, funniest, boyfriend ever. his love language is having a damn good time.

🍃 no one would guess that you are all in a relationship, they just think its a disgustingly cheesy friendship triangle.

🍃now while some people claim that they will be in a relationship with "the one" for the rest of your life, the three of your are just vibing. though jisung worries about this he will never mention it. not wanting to jinx your love.

🍃even if that's the case jisung still has a phobia of either one of you leaving. there's no way in hell that's happening .

🍃jisung is the most annoying guy ever and he knows it. his overuse of pet names is purely because he is begging for one of you to blush or scowl at him, he will take both.

🍃small pranks are inevitable so while this is the most serious relationship ever, you also like to torment each other out of love.

🍃minho could easily spend over an hour smugly saying that he is charming enough to date two people at once, but he opts for sneaking his simping into the songs he cowrites.

🍃but since it's minho we're talking about your tribute may come in the form of drive 2.0.

🍃when you decide to take your dates outside you do less dating and more staring at minho, who smirks into his cup of coffee trying to hide how flustered he is.

🍃 minho is the type to playfully scold the two of you for being all over him but that's literally just him saying that he wants more pda.

🍃even if you are living a dream 24/7, your favourite moments have to be when you're on the living room floor stretched out and talking while soonie, doongie and dori take their little cat naps besides you.

~nsfw~

🍃it's kind of scary how minho can seem so indifferent and not mention sex, hell he seems innocent until he gets that glint in his eyes. you better run (to your bed).

🍃jisung is so whipped for dom minho even if minho. he may be wholesome but he will beg for one of you to fuck him good.

🍃 your little hannie is oh so giving, he will play the part of whatever you want, his kink is literally trying out every kink.

🍃minho will only sub if he is exhausted or feeling sentimental. feel free to be rough with him but he lives for the validation that you care for him when he is feeling the most vulnerable.

🍃they are sugar and spice until sugar decides he wants in on the fun that spice is having.

🍃jisung may be a soft giving guy but he has it in him to absolutely wreck you. he will always make sure there are no hard feelings and that all of this is in good fun.

🍃but with minho whispering in his ear, telling him all the ways you deserve to be punished jisung can't help himself.

🍃the marks left behind are sore to the touch but the drastic shift between jisung's harsh words to soft kisses and even softer words is enough to give you whiplash.

🍃both of them have different versions of a corruption kink.

🍃minho wants to break you down in the neediest of ways, he wants to take away all of your innocence and self-control. on the other hand jisung will innocently taunt you, encouraging you to lose your innocent cover. he knows just how needy and sinful you are and is too willing to push all of your buttons.

🍃jisung's tongue is superior, not much can match the sensation of him going down on you or when you decide to wreck his mouth. give it your all, his gag reflex is so good.

🍃basically he has a major oral fixation, he just wants something in his mouth, he doesn't care if it's your fingers or minho.

🍃all of you have such intense sex drives, it isn't as gentle as you would think, you really just lust after each other.

🍃though you would have your gentle moments the majority of the time is spent trying out each one of your kinks.

🍃it's literally so wholesome though, the amount of attention you receive from each other and the lack of judgement is so nice. no matter how dirty your fantasies are your boyfriends will try to meet you half way.

[lamemaster]

Mama, I'm in Love with a Criminal

Driving back from work I could not help but wonder more about Celegorm. I have always written him as the suave-carefree lover. But what if he were to be different.

What if Celegorm who hunts with the Vala of hunt and wild, is the most dedicated lover. He loves so intensely that his love stretches beyond the limits of sanity.

Wasn't it his love for his father that made him venture to middle earth and essentially put everything, his entire self at stake? He did the most vile things for an oath.

Makes me wonder how he would love his s/o? Would he allow himself to be vulnerable in the privacy of the one he loves? Would he be known as the most whipped for his s/o among all his brothers?

My heart feels a weird kind of sorrow whenever I think of Celegorm. He, who did the unthinkable for an oath that promises nothing but pain. Would he have wanted kingdoms to rule or jewels when all he is known for is his love for the wild?

There is not enough exploration of his character and every time I read any of it I find myself more endeared to what Celegorm could have been.

He must have been someone noble enough to be Huan's master at one point and his fall from that point aches me. Lost in the sunken lands of Beliriand is there any redemption for him? Just thinking of it seems so lonely. Loss of his self, his passion, his mentor, his family.

We've talked about Maedhros' end, about Maglor's mourning, about Curufin's estrangement from his son, about Caranthir's greed and redemption, about Ambarussa's separation but have we talked of Celegorm's loss of self?

Would there be someone to bring him back to his past? I don't know if it is Namo's healing or someone else who holds the power to restore Celegorm back to his old self so he can seek any redemption that he is to be offered.

Even Melkor was given a chance to it then why not Celgorm?

Thinking about this makes me want to write a reader who drags Celegorm back from his fall. Someone who brings him back to forests and valleys full of blooming flowers. Someone who cannot offer him healing or forgiveness but someone who can equip him with the will to look for it.

Basically, Celegorm triggers my savior complex and whenever I write him I want to save him so badly. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

I will not be accepting any criticism because I am unhinged just like Mr. Celegorm.

[zukkacore]

I would fucking love to learn about hockeygate

I'm not the most involved in booktok but i was privy to this drama i don't know how but i did stumble upon it. To be fair. There's literally like articles and videos and stuff that probably explain it better than me, like this is actually getting mainstream coverage it's kinda wild.

Anyway it starts with the fact that there's this Why Choose (reverse harem) hockey romance book that blew up on tiktok called Pucking Around.

So it becomes a thing on tiktok for people who like this book to basically to do faceclaims for the characters with actual real hockey players—i'm not sure if this was independently inspired or if the author was like "yeah these fictional hockey players are totally inspired by [insert real hockey player here"]. One of said fancasts is this guy named Alex Wennberg who plays on the Seattle Krakens.

This booktoker named Kierra Lewis blows up really quickly and gets a pretty decent following mainly from, like, making comedic tiktoks that are basically thirsting over these real hockey players on the Seattle Krakens & how much they look like her book boyfriends which includes Alex. & im sure its like meant to be all in good fun & hornyposting online has its sphere as long as its not invading the lives of the real people involved (kinda like how everyone had the hots for Pedro Pascal which i get but contriving every interview so that he's bombarded with everyone's thirst tweets and comments feels like its devolving into harrassment guys) so i get that. A lot of the jokes are sexual & there's a pretty common one she makes about wanting Alex Wennberg to "crack her back" etc, its play on "break my back" i think? Or maybe its a kraken pun?? idk.

& a lot of the hornyposting about the hockey players involves like making fancams of the players groinstretching on the ice & in these poses that fans sexualize them in, etc etc. I wanna point out that like it's not just Kierra doing this, its a whole sphere of hockey romance booktok, but she is a pretty prominent figure in this story.

Anyway all this hornyposting about the seattle krakens gets the attention of the kraken's actual social media account, so they start playing into it too. Posting thirst traps of the players and stuff. So The Krakens were benefiting from the attention from Booktok, but at the same time, it feels pretty ridiculous to claim that a popular team in a well-loved longstanding sport was, like, "discovered" or made relevant by booktokers.

Kierra Lewis actually gets invited to a Krakens game, like she gets flown out, she gets like a Kraken's jersey that says "booktok" on the back etc etc. & she's posting tiktoks from the game. & i'm gonna editorialize more than i previously have to give more of my personal opinion here, but this is the part that I think is particularly just, inappropriate and in bad taste. b/c she's like filming the players on the ice while they do their stretches and making sexual comments, like shouting "crack my back" to them while they're on the ice, like it's very much the same thing she's doing on tiktok but online is one thing, that's at least worthy of a conversation of like what privacy really is online, but it's another thing to be making comments like that to their face while at a person's place of work.

After all this, the wife of Alex Wennberg, Felicia Weeren, makes a post on social media basically asking people to ease up on all the suggestive comments about her husband online, not just for her sake but b/c it makes her husband uncomfortable, too. She's basically asking for people to be more mindful of how they post, and im paraphrasing in her sentiment that people would view this behavior targeted towards her husband and the other hockey players and inappropriate if women were the recipients of the sexual comments.. It's been impacting their lives because their online presence now is basically just swarmed with people making suggestive comments, people in their lives irl are commenting on it & making jokes about it, etc etc.

(& i personally don't love when people make the "if the genders were reversed" arguments b/c that tends to lead to false equivalency & also b/c people broadly don't take harassment of women seriously, but tbh she has a point. While people don't take harassment of women seriously, i think broadly left-leaning people at least understand the shape of like, what a catcall is and why its bad. & part of the reason this went uncommented on for so long is part of the patriarchal stereotype that men always want sex which is used to dismiss male victims)

She was pretty measured about the whole thing all things considered, especially b/c she said she's all for female empowerment and sexual expression & she doesn't know if there is a simple answer to this stuff, but there has been boundary crossing with how extreme and vocal its getting & especially b/c its affecting her husband at his work.

In her post, some of the examples she included as inappropriate comments included posts made by Kierra. She didn't single out Kierra directly, but she did use her posting as representative of a larger trend in the hockey romance booktok fandom.

The post from Felicia was taken really poorly by booktok and people started harassing her and her family including their kid, and saying she was being dramatic, saying she wants to be the center of attention, fabricating rumors about her and Alex wennberg that they were having "marriage trouble" etc etc. This includes Kierra lewis getting pretty upset and taking the post as though she's being singled out personally. Mostly doubling down, deflecting, saying it's all just a joke.

And perhaps it does suck to be treated as representative of an entire group of people, and being the most prominent face of something, she would inevitably get the brunt of backlash. But also she was the one invited to the game and was making all those comments like shouting at the players and stuff, so I do think she has to take a larger ownership over her behavior than random people posting online.

During this time she also finds out the Kraken's social media unfollowed her, so she's also expressing resentment that the Krakens were playing into the thirst trap stuff but suddenly have turned against her.

And yes, it was all just probably meant to be in good fun, but from the wider internet outside of booktok, it just seemed pretty inconsiderate and crappy to double down after people expressed that they were uncomfortable with what is basically sexual harassment. Yes, the Kraken social media was feeding into the hype, but the social media account is not representative of the players and their attitudes, and it was clear that the players stopped being comfortable with what was going on. Tbh there was quite a bit of victim blamey rhetoric. Consent can be revoked at any time. (& i have seen some arguments that b/c its sexual harassment (& in the workplace!) and not just like, an encounter in the bedroom, it wouldn't even have been possible for Alex Wennberg to consent in the first place b/c you can't consent to harrassment. It was just harrassment the whole time.)

Anyway, the harassment toward Felicia got so bad that Alex Wennberg had to come out and also make a statement in support of his wife

But the reason that post is making fun of booktokers thinking they made hockey relevant was b/c that was a pretty funny and common argument from Kierra and other booktokers who were not backing down on their position that they did nothing wrong. They kept being like "well we made the Kraken's relevant", "we brought all this attention to hockey", "the Krakens would be nothing without booktok." it was all very bizarre.

[quinloki]

Some Direction

Fem Reader x Roronoa Zoro

CW: Language, stalking, violence, sexual themes and situations, ptsd 18+ only

Chapter 1 - Table of Consent -

Chapter 26: Hidden Route

The point of a honeymoon in Jaya was that the weather would be nice even in early January, and you and Zoro had an open agenda. You could spend the entire week indoors if you decided to do so.

"That's not a hotel." You say, checking the address for the third time since you were dropped off by the shuttle service from the airport. "That's a house."

"Small house." Zoro offers.

You looked left and right. There were a series of separated small houses, with lots of privacy fencing and trees. It seemed Mihawk didn't get you a hotel room, he got you as near to a private getaway as either of you would've been comfortable with.

Zoro leans down and whispers. "Won't have to worry about bothering the neighbors." He smiles as he walks by you and up to the private cabin, tilting his head for you to follow.

Face flushed, but smiling, you followed him. Zoro was carrying all the luggage, and you hadn't argued much. In a few months it wouldn't be you getting pampered, so much as the two of you scrambling to take care of twin babies.

The private house was, at least compared to the spacious dojo, relatively small. There was a spacious bedroom with a large bed in the middle of it, and a small living room with a fluffy couch and a TV. There was a small kitchen, just enough elbow room for a single cook, with basic cooking equipment. You could make the staples, but you probably weren't going to whip up souffles or fancy cakes. Not that either of you had the skill or desire to do so, but you felt Sanji would be pulling out all sorts of weird tricks to make the meager appliances bend to his will.

The bathroom was a little bigger than expected, with an open shower and a whirlpool tub just big enough for two people to relax in.

It was little wonder this place was considered one of the top ten honeymoon destinations. You tried not to think about the egregious amount of money it all cost. Just because Mihawk had said you didn't need to worry about money, didn't mean you didn't worry about money. It wasn't like you had really struggled with income while you were on your own, but 16-18 to had been some tight years, and those habits don't leave you easily.

Warm arms wrap around you from behind, kissing your cheek as he pulls you into him.

"Whaddya think?"

"It's more than I expected."

"Too much?"

"Mm, no. I mean, maybe a little, but I'm trying not to think about it."

"I know how to distract you."

You feel the heat rise in your body. "You do." You tremble lightly in anticipation.

"I promise I won't break you." He says, his words causing the shiver, and your heart rate, to heighten.

"What about the bed?" You question, your voice shaking with a mix of laughter and desire.

"Not my problem." He replies, practically growling the words.

Zoro lifts your shirt off you easily, and brings your arms back down, pinning them with his arm as his other hand covers your eyes. Hungry and hot lips descend on your neck, sending jolts of pleasure across your skin and down to your core. Teeth nip at your ear, his tongue traces long lines across the most sensitive stretches of your neck, and the deep kisses leave bruising marks on your shoulder. The rough actions assault your senses with pleasure, and gasping moans fill the air as his hands begin to wander.

Kisses rain down your back, sending deep shivers to your core as you wriggle against the strong hands that hold you in place even as they wander. You barely register things as he pulls your bra off and he's slipping your feet free from your pants and underwear before you had even realized he's pulled them down.

The kisses against the back of your thighs nearly buckle your legs. Your hands find a door frame and you brace yourself against it for a moment as nails drag down the soft flesh on the back of your leg, tearing a nearly orgasmic shuddering cry from you.

You can feel him press against you from behind, breath hot and heavy, skin practically on fire. He braces your back against his chest, lifting your leg up and rubbing his hard cock against your slit. You're already soaking wet and the tip of his stiff flesh grinds against your clit. If he wasn't holding you in place against him, you'd be on the floor from the pleasure throbbing between your thighs.

"Hngh, fuck," The curse is practically ripped from your throat as rough fingers tease your nipples, and lips devour your neck crashing the first orgasm into your body with hardly a warning.

Your body is still shuddering and twitching as Zoro's entire length pushes easily into you. The sounds that dribble out of your mouth aren't any language you know, and your hazy mind isn't sure if you've come a second time or not. Strong hands hold your hips, and your shaking arms hold onto the door frame for dear life.

Despite the rough ferocity, nothing he has done has hurt. Even the bruising kisses were wrapped in pleasure. But as your legs buckle under the steady deep thrusts, he lifts you up against him enough to get you both to the bed. Your legs crumple to the floor as the mattress alone supports your torso.

He lifts one of your legs up to his shoulder, causing your body to turn onto its side. He moves your leg to the side a little as he moves slowly, with long deliberate thrusts until a jolt of pleasure shots through your core. The surprised gasp from you draws a grin from him as his tongue slides over his lips in appreciation. He hits the spot over and over, your body shuddering and curling against him as pleasure begins to build up in you again.

"Zo~ro~," you cry, reaching out to him. "I'mma... lose muh mind!"

Instead of grabbing your outstretched hand, his thumb begins to roll over your clit. The glint in his eye seems ready to consume you entirely. There was no spoken command from him, he was in control and didn't need to say anything to drive the point home. Your hands held onto his arm, taut and immovable like cables of steel, and you couldn't stop the flood of pleasure from crashing over.

Your body tenses and shudders from the orgasm, you can hear him grunt as you clamp down on him, twitching from head to toe. His steady pace quickens, and you can feel him twitch inside you for a moment.

Light kisses against your ankle travel down your leg as he pulls out, hands shifting you further onto the bed. The tender kisses cause you to shift and stretch in pleasure under him as his kisses trail up your hips and across your stomach. Kisses slip along your collarbone, up your neck, and to your own lips, consuming you deeply as his tongue pushes into your mouth.

Your hazy gaze comes into focus as the kiss breaks, and you catch the look in his eyes. You body freezes, and a hungry grin spreads across his face in reaction to your expression.

Zoro might not have broken you, but by the end of the 3rd round, he was carrying your thoroughly exhausted body into the bathroom and cleaning the both of you up. As he had assured you before, the two of you spend most of your honeymoon with you being sufficiently pampered.

. . . . . .

"What do you mean, you see another head?!" You bellow, your grip on Zoro's hand causing his bones to creak.

"I mean, Mrs. Roronoa, you have three very healthy baby boys, and only two at a time ever showed up on the ultrasound, now PUSH!" Dr. Kureha instructs.

You pushed and roared, for what you hoped was the last time you'd have to do so.

"I blame you for this," you grumble at Zoro. "Three earrings, three swords, now three kids."

There's a smile on his face despite it all, "I'll accept that blame."

Aside from the surprise baby, the entire process went smoothly. You were in labor for a few short hours and hadn't made any false trips to the hospital prior to today. May 5th was quite the day to find out you had a surprise addition to your family, and after you had been moved to a room to recover you could appreciate the humor in it. Zoro's right hand was in a splint – you hadn't broken his fingers, but you did dislocate one at some point.

You had one baby in each arm, the 3rd in Zoro's left hand as he sat beside you. Two dark-haired babies, and one blonde, not a greenette in sight. Well, natural green hair was a very recessive gene, after all, and Zoro was one of maybe three people you'd seen your entire life who had the hair color naturally.

"How can something so small feel like its too big to fit in my heart?" You muse, looking from the babies to Zoro.

He smiles, shaking his head a little. "I don't know. What are we going to do?"

"Our best." You assure him. "We're in a good place for it too. I'm sure Mihawk will be delighted to help, and I doubt we'll be able to keep Sanji and Nami away." You chuckle weakly. "Most of the dojo students, for that matter."

After a moment of silence, you start to chuckle, hugging the two babies in your arms a little more closely. There's amusement, and exhaustion in your laugh and Zoro gives you a moment to settle before he asks what was so funny.

"All I could think was, this was not the Santoryu I had signed up for."

Zoro tries to hold back his laughter and fails, rousing the triplets a little. The two of you fall silent for a moment, waiting to see if all hell will break loose or if they'll go back to sleep.

"Any opinions on names?" You ask him quietly after they seem to settle back into their nap.

He shakes his head. "I literally named my fighting style 'Three Sword Style'," he admits. "I wouldn't even know where to start. Anything come to mind for you?"

"Mmhm. Ace for the eldest, Sabo for the blonde, and Luffy for the youngest."

"Youngest by minutes."

You smile. "I feel like it'll matter to them some day. Older siblings look out for the younger ones."

"Why those names?"

You shrug, "Something about it just seems right. Like they'll be happy to grow up together."

"... I feel like I can already picture the amount of trouble they're going to get into." Zoro says. His tone is flat and almost annoyed, but the smile on his face betrays him.

"We'll make sure they know they're loved, that'll be enough."

~Fin

[dinbuckyenthusiasts]

Travelling with Din Djarin HCs

It’s almost like you’re always travelling with him because of how much you move around (bounties, work, you know the drill)

But for you two, and the kid as well, ‘travelling’ is much different than just going around for work’s sake

As much as he loves his job, Din finds little to no enjoyment visiting different planets just for his work, especially since the planets are generally pretty dangerous and there’s not much for you and Grogu to do, meaning you guys usually just stay on the ship until Din gets back

He certainly doesn’t view it as travelling, because he’d much rather do it all with you and to him, to travel is to actually enjoy your experience, rather than to have a one track mind and set goal: get the bounty

You and Din wouldn’t really plan it beforehand, he do it himself and surprise you. He would negotiate with Karga to take time off work for a while even if it meant he would have to take on extra bounties afterwards or beforehand

If you ask, he tells you you’re going to Tatooine or some planet that never is really that exciting, and then when you arrive he would lower the ramp and show you

And if this man thought he couldn’t fall for you any further

He was wrong

Because the way he SWOONS at the sight of your face lighting up...he's head over heels

He would let you pack some bags and whatever else you need for a couple days (you would probably stay for like…4-7 days? It really depends on Din's schedule but I'm sure you could convince him to change the plans a bit if you wanted)

And then you would be off. None of you want to waste time

While travelling, Din would want to take it all the way since you guys don't get to vacation often. He would probably include a hotel (or just plain camping depending on the planet and how many credits you guys have). You wouldn’t be spending much time in the Crest, probably none at all honestly

Din doesn't really have a preference for either hot or cold planets. For him, as long as the climate isn’t extreme (like Tatooine or Hoth for example) he would be satisfied. He would probably enjoy Naboo, maybe even Sorgan or Endor. He definitely likes anywhere with lots of greenery, it’s a peaceful break from the general harshness of the planets and life he’s used to

I was also considering Coruscant but that might be stretching it, just because of how busy it can be, even if it is a gorgeous planet. Something isolated and quiet would be best for him. Privacy is something he needs in order to actually wind down so he doesn’t have to worry about the safety of you and the kid (although, when is he not worried about that?)

He prefers quiet planets not only because of safety, but if he's started taking the helmet off around you, he would most likely want to remove it at times during the trip as well

Another reason he wants to go somewhere green is because he knows Grogu will enjoy it. And if there’s a lot of water there, like lakes or rivers? That’s even better (frogs of course). That’s sort of why I feel like Naboo or Sorgan would be perfect

But Grogu making friends with the Ewoks on Endor would be so adorable as well...anyway

While there, I think it would just be a whole lot of exploring. He would leave it to you to decide where you want to go and what you want to see

Din is more than fine with whatever you decide but I also think that at some point during your trip, he would want to go see the architecture and nature of the planet. He finds culture in architecture and he absolutely adores seeing the uniqueness of it all, especially since every planet is so different

I know this is a bit basic, but the three of you would go on walks. Just sort of wander with no real destination and see where it leads you. That's probably how you guys discover most of the planet, rather than using a map or guide

I can also imagine having a picnic with him and the kid. The whole Anakin and Padmé scene in AOTC? That exact scenery

Even if he doesn't really eat because...well...the helmet situation, you would still enjoy each other's company and just chat. He would be happy enough to just know you're enjoying yourself. The smile on your face makes him happier than any meal could

The different food (if there is different food depending on the planet...I'm honestly not sure) would be so fun to try out

And if there were any festivals (I'm assuming most planets have different traditions) during the time you visit, there would be no hesitation in attending them. Once again with the whole culture thought, Din would LOVE stuff like that

Finally, although Din really would want to experience as much as possible, his main goal wouldn't be that. It would be that you leave feeling better and much more refreshed than when you arrived

And after your visit, he would realize how nice it actually was. He might even find himself craving that same domesticity and relaxation at the oddest times

He knows how good it was for you and the kid. If you asked, he wouldn't even hesitate going to Karga and asking him for more time off work. If you wanted to go back to whatever planet you went to, he would take you there. However, he'd be open to new suggestions as well (as long as it's safe) and would go wherever you wanted

[mugiwara-no-toshokan]

Some Direction

CisFem Reader x Roronoa Zoro

CW: Language, stalking, violence, sexual themes and situations, ptsd -- surprisingly fluffy despite it all. 18+ only

Chapter 26: Hidden Route

The point of a honeymoon in Jaya was that the weather would be nice even in early January, and you and Zoro had an open agenda. You could spend the entire week indoors if you decided to do so.

"That's not a hotel." You say, checking the address for the third time since you were dropped off by the shuttle service from the airport. "That's a house."

"Small house." Zoro offers.

You looked left and right. There were a series of separated small houses, with lots of privacy fencing and trees. It seemed Mihawk didn't get you a hotel room, he got you as near to a private getaway as either of you would've been comfortable with.

Zoro leans down and whispers. "Won't have to worry about bothering the neighbors." He smiles as he walks by you and up to the private cabin, tilting his head for you to follow.

Face flushed, but smiling, you followed him. Zoro was carrying all the luggage, and you hadn't argued much. In a few months it wouldn't be you getting pampered, so much as the two of you scrambling to take care of twin babies.

The private house was, at least compared to the spacious dojo, relatively small. There was a spacious bedroom with a large bed in the middle of it, and a small living room with a fluffy couch and a TV. There was a small kitchen, just enough elbow room for a single cook, with basic cooking equipment. You could make the staples, but you probably weren't going to whip up souffles or fancy cakes. Not that either of you had the skill or desire to do so, but you felt Sanji would be pulling out all sorts of weird tricks to make the meager appliances bend to his will.

The bathroom was a little bigger than expected, with an open shower and a whirlpool tub just big enough for two people to relax in.

It was little wonder this place was considered one of the top ten honeymoon destinations. You tried not to think about the egregious amount of money it all cost. Just because Mihawk had said you didn't need to worry about money, didn't mean you didn't worry about money. It wasn't like you had really struggled with income while you were on your own, but 16-18 to had been some tight years, and those habits don't leave you easily.

Warm arms wrap around you from behind, kissing your cheek as he pulls you into him.

"Whaddya think?"

"It's more than I expected."

"Too much?"

"Mm, no. I mean, maybe a little, but I'm trying not to think about it."

"I know how to distract you."

You feel the heat rise in your body. "You do." You tremble lightly in anticipation.

"I promise I won't break you." He says, his words causing the shiver, and your heart rate, to heighten.

"What about the bed?" You question, your voice shaking with a mix of laughter and desire.

"Not my problem." He replies, practically growling the words.

Zoro lifts your shirt off you easily, and brings your arms back down, pinning them with his arm as his other hand covers your eyes. Hungry and hot lips descend on your neck, sending jolts of pleasure across your skin and down to your core. Teeth nip at your ear, his tongue traces long lines across the most sensitive stretches of your neck, and the deep kisses leave bruising marks on your shoulder. The rough actions assault your senses with pleasure, and gasping moans fill the air as his hands begin to wander.

Kisses rain down your back, sending deep shivers to your core as you wriggle against the strong hands that hold you in place even as they wander. You barely register things as he pulls your bra off and he's slipping your feet free from your pants and underwear before you had even realized he's pulled them down.

The kisses against the back of your thighs nearly buckle your legs. Your hands find a door frame and you brace yourself against it for a moment as nails drag down the soft flesh on the back of your leg, tearing a nearly orgasmic shuddering cry from you.

You can feel him press against you from behind, breath hot and heavy, skin practically on fire. He braces your back against his chest, lifting your leg up and rubbing his hard cock against your slit. You're already soaking wet and the tip of his stiff flesh grinds against your clit. If he wasn't holding you in place against him, you'd be on the floor from the pleasure throbbing between your thighs.

"Hngh, fuck," The curse is practically ripped from your throat as rough fingers tease your nipples, and lips devour your neck crashing the first orgasm into your body with hardly a warning.

Your body is still shuddering and twitching as Zoro's entire length pushes easily into you. The sounds that dribble out of your mouth aren't any language you know, and your hazy mind isn't sure if you've come a second time or not. Strong hands hold your hips, and your shaking arms hold onto the door frame for dear life.

Despite the rough ferocity, nothing he has done has hurt. Even the bruising kisses were wrapped in pleasure. But as your legs buckle under the steady deep thrusts, he lifts you up against him enough to get you both to the bed. Your legs crumple to the floor as the mattress alone supports your torso.

He lifts one of your legs up to his shoulder, causing your body to turn onto its side. He moves your leg to the side a little as he moves slowly, with long deliberate thrusts until a jolt of pleasure shots through your core. The surprised gasp from you draws a grin from him as his tongue slides over his lips in appreciation. He hits the spot over and over, your body shuddering and curling against him as pleasure begins to build up in you again.

"Zo~ro~," you cry, reaching out to him. "I'mma... lose muh mind!"

Instead of grabbing your outstretched hand, his thumb begins to roll over your clit. The glint in his eye seems ready to consume you entirely. There was no spoken command from him, he was in control and didn't need to say anything to drive the point home. Your hands held onto his arm, taut and immovable like cables of steel, and you couldn't stop the flood of pleasure from crashing over.

Your body tenses and shudders from the orgasm, you can hear him grunt as you clamp down on him, twitching from head to toe. His steady pace quickens, and you can feel him twitch inside you for a moment.

Light kisses against your ankle travel down your leg as he pulls out, hands shifting you further onto the bed. The tender kisses cause you to shift and stretch in pleasure under him as his kisses trail up your hips and across your stomach. Kisses slip along your collarbone, up your neck, and to your own lips, consuming you deeply as his tongue pushes into your mouth.

Your hazy gaze comes into focus as the kiss breaks, and you catch the look in his eyes. You body freezes, and a hungry grin spreads across his face in reaction to your expression.

Zoro might not have broken you, but by the end of the 3rd round, he was carrying your thoroughly exhausted body into the bathroom and cleaning the both of you up. As he had assured you before, the two of you spend most of your honeymoon with you being sufficiently pampered.

. . . . . .

"What do you mean, you see another head?!" You bellow, your grip on Zoro's hand causing his bones to creak.

"I mean, Mrs. Roronoa, you have three very healthy baby boys, and only two at a time ever showed up on the ultrasound, now PUSH!" Dr. Kureha instructs.

You pushed and roared, for what you hoped was the last time you'd have to do so.

"I blame you for this," you grumble at Zoro. "Three earrings, three swords, now three kids."

There's a smile on his face despite it all, "I'll accept that blame."

Aside from the surprise baby, the entire process went smoothly. You were in labor for a few short hours and hadn't made any false trips to the hospital prior to today. May 5th was quite the day to find out you had a surprise addition to your family, and after you had been moved to a room to recover you could appreciate the humor in it. Zoro's right hand was in a splint – you hadn't broken his fingers, but you did dislocate one at some point.

You had one baby in each arm, the 3rd in Zoro's left hand as he sat beside you. Two dark-haired babies, and one blonde, not a greenette in sight. Well, natural green hair was a very recessive gene, after all, and Zoro was one of maybe three people you'd seen your entire life who had the hair color naturally.

"How can something so small feel like its too big to fit in my heart?" You muse, looking from the babies to Zoro.

He smiles, shaking his head a little. "I don't know. What are we going to do?"

"Our best." You assure him. "We're in a good place for it too. I'm sure Mihawk will be delighted to help, and I doubt we'll be able to keep Sanji and Nami away." You chuckle weakly. "Most of the dojo students, for that matter."

After a moment of silence, you start to chuckle, hugging the two babies in your arms a little more closely. There's amusement, and exhaustion in your laugh and Zoro gives you a moment to settle before he asks what was so funny.

"All I could think was, this was not the Santoryu I had signed up for."

Zoro tries to hold back his laughter and fails, rousing the triplets a little. The two of you fall silent for a moment, waiting to see if all hell will break loose or if they'll go back to sleep.

"Any opinions on names?" You ask him quietly after they seem to settle back into their nap.

He shakes his head. "I literally named my fighting style 'Three Sword Style'," he admits. "I wouldn't even know where to start. Anything come to mind for you?"

"Mmhm. Ace for the eldest, Sabo for the blonde, and Luffy for the youngest."

"Youngest by minutes."

You smile. "I feel like it'll matter to them some day. Older siblings look out for the younger ones."

"Why those names?"

You shrug, "Something about it just seems right. Like they'll be happy to grow up together."

"... I feel like I can already picture the amount of trouble they're going to get into." Zoro says. His tone is flat and almost annoyed, but the smile on his face betrays him.

"We'll make sure they know they're loved, that'll be enough."

~fin.

[straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept]

something i've been thinking about a lot lately is why so many swifties hate joe.

taylor used to be a lot more open with her personal life. maybe a bit too much. we almost know the exact start and end dates. we could almost pick out which songs were about which exes.

and then joe and taylor got together. and taylor wasn't available anymore – romantically (as taylor had this reputation as the single girl who had bad luck in her previous relationships that made her feel like she was more available than her other female contemporaries), but also more so emotionally.

some people can get possessive over their favourite celebrities, even if they aren't attracted to them. and i don't think it's a stretch to say some gaylors who think joe is a beard would have just as much a problem with him if he was a woman. because for a lot of swifties, it's not about whether taylor is gay or straight, it's about someone taking their ability to know her away. because some people think that because taylor is famous, we have a right to know what would otherwise be private details about her life.

and they see joe an infringement on that 'right.'

Yes, anon, you're 1000% correct about this. I totally agree with you, I'm in awe of how concisely you've managed to put together all my different thoughts about Taylor + her fandom in this perfectly worded message!

I'm going to expand on this thought process because you've given me a lot to digest, but it would be hypocritical of me to not point that conspiracy kaylors are not the only ones who dislike Joe. Many hetlors also call him "boring," or "wet bread" or "uninteresting," and I think you've hit the nail on the head with this analysis.

Swifties are really in denial about the reality of the relationship that they have with Taylor Swift and it's become increasingly clear to me that Taylor has decided to put up a lot of personal boundaries, including removing the secret sessions (she's doing surprise drops because it gives her a valid reason to not invite fans into her house... and the fact that some of us are still in denial about this says a lot... like, shes given us 2 music videos of people/friends/fans infringing in her personal house and lavender haze as a mv is damning to the 1989 era of swiftie-taylor relationships tbh... like, its so clear to me that both the archer in anti hero and the people in LH are symbols of her fans) and not posting on social media.

She's basically gone zero contact with us, even tiktok, like okay tumblr swifties on here complain about taylor being on tiktok and she's not really on tiktok, she films promotional content on tiktok. We don't even fucking know if she's the one liking posts or commenting on videos there, like it's highly unlikely that she's actually wasting her time on tiktok.

Like, every single video, tweet, insta post, tumblr post etc has turned 100% professional and the only connection we have to taylor anymore is through her lyrics. It's a sad reality but it's also partly our fault. Like, okay, we love her too much as a fandom and part of that is because we do feel entitled to know about her personal life.

There is a reoccurring theme in midnights about the overbearing presence of her fans in her personal life. Like, romance is not dead if you keep it just yours is a direct callout to the fact that it was unhealthy of her to be so public about her love life. Many swifties forget how nasty the public was to teenager taylor swift, she's not the same girl we met in 2006. She grew the fuck up and so should we, as a fandom it is unhealthy of so many of us (I'm really disappointed in the adults in this fandom who don't speak up more about Taylor's right to privacy) to have this expectation that we will know every single detail of her life, and that we deserve to know.

Joe is the first relationship she had completely offline and in private. Like, she was in control of when she released the information that she was dating Joe and she has been in complete and total control of exactly what she wants to reveal in her music and about her life since then and a lot of swifties are having trouble reconciling this new boundary that she has put up.

Like, the fact that yall were harassing her account on her just last year is fucking INSANE to me. Why are you DMing a celebrity? It's fucking weird behavior, it's overstepping and it's disregarding personal boundaries. Taylor doesn't want to hear from you, I'm sorry but it's true.

Just because she wants to make music and sing about her life and connect with you in venues that she has pre-approved for a certain alloted period of time doesn't mean that gives you the right to demand her personal time when she is at home, away from the public eye. It really makes me sick, a lot of aspects of stan culture in general because there is a huge lack of respect there for personal boundaries kind of baked into the practice.

I don't think swifties are the first or only problematic fandom (1d is a mess, I'm glad they broke up tbh) but it's definitely unique in our fandom the way Taylor fed into the parasocial aspect because it was necessary for her mental health at the time as well.

When we talk about Taylor being unhealthy during 1989 era, why is that we never mention that her secret sessions/tumblr messages/over-involvedness with her fans was a part of that illness? Why do we refuse to change our behavior as a fandom, and just hold tight to our preconceived notions of who Taylor is and what she wants from us. She has been asking us for space and privacy in her personal life for a while now and I think we should all just stick to dissecting themes in her songs because that's what she wants us to do.

I remember watching a video by a non-swiftie music fan who was like expressing a sentiment of "I find it interesting that when taylor was asked about the secret messages in her lyrics, she replied with whatever it takes to get my fans to read the lyrics." That's what I try and focus on this blog, I try not to read too much into her social media or her personal life but rather just stick to reading her lyrics.

I think we all need to get comfortable with just reading her lyrics and relating to her in that way.

[baldurspeen69420]

Follow-up question about Byron, your dashing sailor! How does he feel about his new traveling companions? How do they fit into his grand new adventure?

You're awesome, thank you for facilitating my nerd-out session.

Byron is going to be traveling with Shadowheart, Lae'zel, and Astarion for his adventure (I like to keep one consistent group, Gale, Wyll, and Karlach are going to be my squad for playthrough 2 though!).

After growing up with infernal heritage and spending years with various crews and shipmates, I think Byron has a soft spot for outcasts and misfits.

He respects Lae'zel for guiding them through the Nautiloid and can see past her brusque demeanor (he worked with /sailors/ after all, not always polite company). He knows people have a lot more to them than what meets the eye, but also woman who swing sword good is always a valuable asset to a team. That being said, while there are some things he can overlook, he won't take all of her shit talk. I'm hoping they'll reach a mutual respect and friendship over the course of their journey!

After saving Shadowheart on the ship, the two already have a decent foundation of respect. You watch out for me, I'll watch out for you. He minds her privacy and values her input. The Shar reveal was a bit of a shock, but fuck it, they've come this far together and Byron has seen stranger things. Her faith is her own and they're working towards a common goal, welcome aboard. While he doesn't get the Shar allegiance thing, he's open to understanding Shadowheart and perhaps eventually show her she has other options, people who care for her besides a Goddess who wants to plunge the world into darkness. Basically, he'll be there for her when things fall apart as a shoulder to lean on. She's crew, and loyalty is everything.

Astarion's the wild card here, of all people. I think Byron can't quite get a beat on him like Shadow or Lae and that intrigues him. He's also a man who values freedom and independence, so when Astarion reveals his *tragic past* Byron empathizes strongly and that's what seals the deal. Astarion's part of his team and he owes it to him to see Cazador brought down. The two butt heads at times about personal philosophy. Byron isn't a fan of using the tadpole but understands why Astarion wants to, just as he understands why Astarion sees the acquisition of power as a virtue (though he vehemently disagrees). He also keeps his vampire spawn friend's most chaotic impulses in check, unless the situation calls for a less measured approach. I like to think they understand each other even if they don't always agree, and Byron genuinely thinks Astarion is very funny so that helps. The casual flirting doesn't hurt his ego either . . . And Astarion isn't exactly a bad looking man by any stretch. Why turn down a "night of fun", really? Where that night goes is yet to be seen.

Basically, I want to take this ragtag group of weirdos and show them the world and its people can be good and decent. I do worry about Byron's bend toward heroism alienating them in the beginning, but I think I can do party politics well enough to keep everyone on board. I love these three because I'm so excited to see their plotlines develop them for the better and I think they make such an entertaining group together.

[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) She's Talking About Giants

------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey... Babe. I want to talk to you about something."

...

"Don't worry. It's nothing serious. I just thought it would be a nice conversation starter. But before that, I'd like to apologize in advance. This came up due to... A breach of privacy I committed against you."

...

"What I mean is... I got curious &... Looked at your browser history."

...

"I know. I'm sorry. But you don't need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. We all have our niche interests. You can look at my browser history after this if you want. I'm not afraid to show you what I'm into."

...

"So... I noticed you searched up a lot of stuff about... Giants. And most notably... Giantesses."

...

"Heh... Maybe that's why you find me so attractive. It's because I'm slightly taller than the average girl, right? I'm only 6ft. Nothing crazy. But deep down, I bet you wish I was way taller than that, don't you? Hehehe~"

...

"You can be honest. It's fine. I actually think this is really cool. So tell me. Why do you like giants?"

...

"Okay, well... Yeah. I guess they're pretty awesome. But why exactly? Imagine me as a giant for example. Why is that such an appealing thought to you?"

...

"So lemme get this straight... The bigger the girl, the more of her there is to love. Hmmm... I can understand that actually. How tall are you thinking exactly?"

...

"It depends. Well, just pick a height. Any height. Gimme something to work with."

...

"One thousand feet?! Woah! I wasn't expecting such a high ball. That's nearly the height of the Empire State Building. I'm having a hard time just imagining that. What about you?"

*play a whimsical sound effect that sounds like you're entering a dream or something of the sort. this next scene takes place in the listener's imagination.*

*and now play some city ambience like traffic & stuff for this scene.*

..........

"Hey! Babe! Up here!"

...

"Ahaha~ It's hard to see you all the way down there, but I know that's you my love."

...

"I'm not sure how I got this tall. But it's really awesome! Just look at me! I'm gigantic! The only thing in the Big Apple that surpasses me is the Empire State Building. And even then, that gap can be closed if I just stretch my arms."

"Wow, everything looks so small to me. It's cute. Would you like to share this view with me? I can give you a lift."

...

"Alright, here. Hop aboard my hand. I'll take you to the top."

...

"Up you go. Hehe~"

...

"You've arrived at your destination. The roof of the tallest building in the city. Now you're the one looking down at me. Funny how that works out."

...

"Great view, huh? It's a privilege to admire such a special sight."

...

"I'm the special sight. Oh you~"

*play that same whimsical sound effect again & cease the city ambience. we're exiting the imagination now.*

..........

"Babe... Babe? Hello?"

...

"You alright there? You seemed lost in thought. Were you busy imagining me as a towering titaness? This must be fun for you. Hehehe~"

"It's a shame something like this isn't actually possible. You can blame the Square Cube Law for that."

...

"I don't remember the exact details, but I remember the Square Cube Law stating something about how certain living things wouldn't be able to survive at extreme disproportionate sizes. Humans being one of them."

"Basically, if I suddenly became a giant, I would die due to various physiological reasons. Same for the inverse if you became tiny. There's a reason humans are the size that they are."

...

"Yeah, you're right. The Square Cube Law ruins all the fun. Let's just ignore it. What other height variables can you think of?"

...

"Cosmic giant. Like... If I was bigger than the entire Planet Earth? Really?"

...

"That's amazing. I can't even begin to imagine myself at that size. But I bet you can."

*another whimsical sound for another imagination sequence*

*I don't think space has ambience so just give your voice an echo effect for this scene. You've used it before. I think you know what kind of echo effect I'm talking about.*

..........

"Wow, so this is my home planet. Earth. The sanctuary of all humanity. And it's small enough to be cradled in my hands. Incredible."

"I can't see my love down there. Or anyone for that matter. There's just too much of a size difference between us. But I know where we live. It's right... There."

"Uh... Hi babe! And I guess... All of mankind while I'm at it. I know you can all see me very clearly. My face is probably taking up the entire sky. I hope my voice isn't too loud."

"Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything bad. I'm just observing the very world that I was born & raised in. That's all."

"Hm? Is that a hurricane I see approaching the coast? I think it is. But I have the power to do something about it. If I just wave my hand through it, the storm should disperse."

"Hey! It worked! That's so cool! Wow, I'm basically a goddess at this size. Although I should be careful. With great power comes great responsibility. I can see myself causing a tsunami if I merely poke the ocean with my finger. Or worse, I could destroy the planet if I'm careless. Best not to get carried away."

*whimsical sound & no more echoing*

..........

"Hello... Babe... I know you're lost in thought again."

...

"Hehehe~ It's okay. I'm just glad you're thinking so deeply."

"Anyway, I think I get the idea now. And I certainly don't judge you for it. This was an inciteful conversation."

...

"Haha~ Yes, now you can look at my browser history. It's only fair."

------------------------------------------------------------

THE END

[snowmuttgetsweird]

Zero-to-Sixty

CW Kink, Sex Mention, Money problems

We're going zero-to-sixty here. You might learn things about me you don't wanna know. I might talk about stuff I don't even necessarily feel comfortable talking about, but I gotta process somehow, right? So let's get weird.

I want a pump toy so bad.

If you used to follow my old Tumblr BEFORE Twitter you already know some of my kinks/interests. I'm into ball stretching, but since I lived with my mom and step dad at the time, it wasn't really feasible to pursue those interests. Same for pumping- I really, really wanna get a cylinder or two (I'd love a LongJohnny to pump my nuts and a cylinder dedicated to my dick), but the living situation wasn't really accommodating- you know, discretion with shipping, space, privacy without interruption, etc.

Now that I AM in a living situation where I can indulge those interests, I don't have the money to afford the gear! I'm pinching pennies just to make rent, and my roommate basically pays all our utilities and food solo while I feel like a destitute, mooching loser. I'm by FAR the lowest earner among my IRL friend group- it's REALLY embarrassing, and I basically can't hang out with them at all outside of the house because anything they wanna do takes money I don't have, so I don't even really socialize with the friends I already have. Like, I'd love to go out to eat, I'd love to go to the mall, I'd love to go to a cool ritzy island for the weekend, I'd love to go to a convention, but what the fuck am I gonna do when I get there without any money to spend?

What's worse is the initial move to Washington was meant to be kinda bare bones because I was moving into my roommate's apartment for a little while, and THEN we were going to move to our new apartment together so I could help him move his stuff, and it didn't make sense for me to bring a lot to move, so I was gonna go BACK to my mom's place in like, January 2022 to pack up the rest of my stuff in a POD and have it shipped back to the new place, but it just kinda never happened cause I wanted to try to stabilize my earnings from art before I made a big purchase like that, so here I am in February 2023, and my ball weights and all the rest of my stuff is still in Arizona! At least then I had savings. Now because I didn't make any money for, like, the first year of doing art, my savings are COMPLETELY depleted, and I'm so broke that I can't afford to go back for the rest of my stuff, or even pay for my mom to ship it out for me. She would do it herself if I asked, bless her heart, but I'm not gonna saddle her with that bill. Unfortunately that also means that there's a room of her home that's dedicated to just storing all my stuff that she can't really use for anything else, so I'm a burden no matter what I do. Like, I'm not even THERE anymore and I'm still a burden- to her in AZ and to my roommate and friends in WA. I'm just plain not making enough money, and that doesn't change no matter what I do.

It's frustrating. I'm still happy that I get to do art for a living, and I'm REALLY happy I'm not doing customer service anymore, but I dunno. My mom's got an unused room just full of my junk, my roommate has to worry about whether or not I can make rent or eat that month, and I'm desperately trying to balance my needs with my wants. Like, I'm basically in survival mode, but still trying to do what I can for my mental health.

Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking of my health or mental health or interests or decompressing or any of that. Maybe I should be doing a day job AND art? I mean, it's not like every second I work is paid- I only have so many commissions at a time, so maybe there's just a lot of unpaid deadtime in my day that should be filled in with a job, and then I just come home and get straight back to work on art. But when I think about going into customer service again (I don't know what else I would be qualified for tbh) and dealing with applications and interviews and shit, I freak out and shut down.

I dunno, life sucks. I just wanna stretch my balls, man.

[munsonenthisiast]

Then & Forever

A/N: I wrote this in like five days and had my bestie edit. This is my first time writing anything, but I love Josh so-

Summary: Since you started working for GVF, you and Josh had grown close to each other over the years. This time you hope your feelings don't get in the way of ruining everything you built.

Contains: Smut, drinking, smoking, cursing

WC: 10.9k

"So you're saying that. . . you've never played an instrument before?" Sam pointed at his bass. You laughed at the question, sipping your beer. "Correct." Sam furrowed his face in confusion. "Then why do you have a degree IN music if you can't play?" Josh hit Sam on the shoulder with a pencil making a small face. You shrugged your shoulders, swishing the alcohol around your mouth. "I don't know, It's just something I've never wanted to do, you know. I guess it's one thing knowing about an instrument rather than playing it."

Everyone nodded in agreement. "Well, if you did play anything I'm sure you'd be really good at it." Josh smiled towards you. He went back to writing in his journal while everyone else went back to respectively playing their own instruments.

But for you, it seemed a long way home. Never did it cross your mind that you would basically be living with four different people from time to time. Especially not so quickly. Greta Van Fleet was your first job, and really, first anything. From high school until now, you were alone. Which made you a little grumpy when working with people, but none the less you warmed up to them quickly. Especially Josh, who always seemed attached to the hip with you.

Josh may have annoyed you a tiny bit at first, but his euphoric mind is what intrigued you in the first place. He always seemed so wise, knowing the right answer to everything. And the way he wrote the lyrics to songs, just naturally appeared to him somehow. It was truly magic.

Jake smacked you on the arm, calling for your attention. "Ok, what do you think of this." He pulled the guitar over his lap, playing the notes he came up with. You quickly wrote down the notes he played, looking out for any correction. "So what do you think?" He asked, flailing his arms around. Running your pencil down the piece of paper, you started to shake your head. "I think it sounds pretty good," you said looking at Josh, who also nodded his head in compliance. "What would also sound cool is if you gave it a little vibrato during a live show."

Jake smiled writing the commentary down on a sticky note. "You know, for not knowing how to play, you really are smart with this kind of stuff." You glared your eyes at him, snickering just a little bit. Everyone worked for a couple of more hours, before calling it a night. Danny and Sam were practically sleeping on each other.

You shook Sam awake, snatching his car keys from his hand. "We'll both be dead if you drive, and were the most important in the band. Well, besides Danny. And Jake. And Josh." You twirled the keys around your finger while Sam stretched to get awake. Josh flipped all the pages over in his journal, turning to you. "We got pretty far today, don't you think?" Josh smiled at his brothers, who were already arguing about something. "Yeah. Maybe we'll get better stuff done tomorrow, you know. This is supposed to be the 'fun' part," you said using air quotations, "but the most boring part out of everything. But maybe, in the end, it'll all be worth it." you hit Josh's arm softly.

"Are you going with Sam?" you nodded quickly. "Yeah, I kind of promised him I would help him with some stuff in the morning." Josh looked sadder than ever. You smiled at Josh, noticing Sam waiting by the door with Jake and Danny. "I'll see you later." You gave Josh a quick kiss on the head.

"Let's go." you wiggled a finger at Sam, practically dragging him to the car. The ride to Sam's house was fairly quiet other than the little snores coming from him. It was nice to get a moment or two of peace to yourself. Working and living with four grown men gave no room for privacy. Everything is shared between you all. Which you had to admit, scared you a little at first because you've always grown up with a sister and maybe a few girlfriends here and there; but you were never as close to them, then as you were to the band.

The house was quiet when you walked in, dark and dim from the night sky. Sam immediately walked to his bedroom, and passed out on his bed. Which left you alone in the kitchen. Putting some of the items away in cabinets, you looked around at all the brothers' family photos, including some of Danny. It made you smile to yourself to see some of them so young and happy. Maybe a little vulnerable too. You were a little envious of how confident some of them had been with their work, just being able to put themselves out there, accepting failure. Not you though. Failure made you angry, furious even. Sometimes it got so bad, you'd hide away for days without any contact with the outside world.

After putting all the trash away, you headed back to the spare room. You turned on all the lights, changing into some warmer clothing. Crawling under the sheets, sleep came easy that night.

-

When you woke up, the blinds had been left the night before causing you to shoot out of bed. Quickly rubbing your eyes, you went to the bathroom to clean up a bit. When you walked towards the kitchen, your feet padded beneath you. Sam still wasn't up, which was pretty normal. You started some coffee and cooked breakfast for the two of you. Though, something triggered you to open a forbidden drawer and bum a cigarette. Quickly lighting it, you messed around with food until it was cooked.

"A cigarette at 8 in the morning?" Sam questioned groggily, clad in just sweatpants. "Well, you know me; I only smoke when I'm forgetting something." You both said in unison. You quickly waved him off, pouring food onto a plate for both of you. "I wonder WHO you're forgetting." You scrunched your face, looking around the room. "What do you mean who?" Sam scoffed. "Josh," You quickly rolled your eyes, slamming the plate down on the table "Eat the fucking food you loser." You both contently ate in peace while making some playful banter here and there. "So what exactly do you need help with?" Sam pulled out a cigarette from the cartridge, silently lighting.

"I need help with a decision." Sam stared at you while you nodded your in question, pretending like you at least understood what he was talking about. "Look, I just want you to go with me to buy another bass, ok. And I want to go to the record store." Narrowing your eyes, you pulled the cigarette from him. "I feel like this is something completely different than what you're telling me." Sam shook his head slowly. "Nope. I still want to keep the mint-colored bass, but I just want to have a cool collection, you know. Oh, let's buy something expensive!" He pointed the smoke at you, while you collected the dishes to put in the sink. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, please. We can not go broke. Not like last time." You shuddered at the thought.

"Thanks for the food. I'm gonna get ready." You flinched your eyebrows and kept washing the dishes, putting them in the dishwasher. You quickly went back to the room for a change of clothes. By the time you were done, Sam was waiting at the door for you. Grabbing your coat and your shoes, you both headed out the door. Sam was walking coolly beside you, as you both looked around the town. Shops were lining down the small street, with cars passing through. He put his arm around your shoulder as you both passed through large crowds. Finally finding the music shop, you both walked in, heading to a certain section.

"So remind me," He paused to look at a sleek grey bass, flipping it over a couple of times. "Why don't you ever get with Josh? I mean he obviously likes you." You scoffed a little bit at his statement. "I thought we were here for you Sam, not to talk about me." You picked up a dark wood bass, showing it to Sam. "I mean with that same logic why don't I ever get with you? I mean we're close, right?" He rolled his eyes, still playing with the instrument you showed him.

"I think I like this one." Sam brought it up to the counter, talking to the girl up front. Who seemed to really enjoy the conversation they were having. Turning on your heel, you waited by the door playing with some random drum sticks. Sam eventually walked over and led you out. "It'll be delivered in a couple of weeks. I bought a whole new one." You pursed your lips smiling at Sam. "Did you also manage to snag that poor girl's number?"

Sam pushed you upside the head as you walked into the record store. You both parted ways looking at different sections. You flipped through vintage albums, picking out random ones you thought everyone would enjoy. After looking through some more, Sam found you and walked to the front to pay. "You found quite a lot there," Sam said, peeking through the ones in your hand.

"Yeah, figured I could add a bit to my very depressing collection." you chuckled, looking at one of the sleek covers. "Don't you have like two?" you glared back at Sam. "Which I believe are both of your band's albums." Sam laughed. You both paid, bags in hand.

"So what now?" you asked Sam as you both mindlessly walked around. "Probably go home. Want me to take you back?" You nodded in agreement and headed back to his car.

-

After saying goodbye to Sam, you walked back up the stairs to your apartment. When you opened the door, Josh appeared from your room, causing you to nearly break the table in the hallway.

"What the hell Josh!" He shrugged his shoulders, making his way to the couch. "What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting until you got back from hanging out with my brother. What were you two doing anyway?" Pouring a glass of water from the sink, you took a sip, and made your way to the couch next to Josh. You leaned your head back on the cushion, staring at the ceiling. "Sam bought a pretty hefty bass, and bought more records." You looked over at Josh. "What about you?"

"Well you know," he sighed. "Tried to work on writing up some new lyrics. Even went over to Danny's and Jake's to work some stuff out. It's coming along nicely." Setting the cup down on the coffee table, you looped an arm around Josh's, leaning your head on his shoulder. "Good. It'll come out beautifully in the end," you said patting his hand. You sniffed, sitting up in your seat. "Are you staying for dinner?" Josh hummed looking up at you. "Oh yeah. I was actually wondering if I could stay for the night; get's kind of lonely at my place." You nodded.

"Yeah, that's fine." You walked over to the kitchen. "Anything in mind you want to eat?" you asked. "Uh, how about that chicken. The one you make with the rice, mushrooms, and asparagus." You started to pull out the pots and pans, placing them on the stove. You leaned back on the counter watching everything cook. To be quite frank, you didn't know how you would handle Josh staying over. Of course, you and Josh were rather close, it even shocked people that you knew each other so well. After all, he knew you better than your own blood.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. On one hand, it would give you time to think some things over and ponder the questions Sam had asked you earlier today. And then you could for sure decide what you wanted to do. You grabbed some plates and moved the food over to the table. Josh was already seated, patiently awaiting your arrival.

"Looks good, as always." he complimented, raising his hands towards you. "Thanks, Josh." you smiled.

"So," he said, chewing his food. "What happened at the music store?" Rolling your eyes at the thought of Sam annoying you, you told him about how he was flirting with the girl at the front desk. "I mean just giggling, and laughing, it was like watching teenagers make out." You made a small coughing noise thinking about Sam flirting with that poor girl. "But, you know, as they say, there's someone for everyone," you said sarcastically, shaking your head. Josh let out a high-pitched laugh at Sam. "That's Sam for you. He bore you with anything else?"

You thought about all the moments were Sam had bullied you over liking Josh or falling in love with Josh. Of course, you loved Josh but you weren't sure whether you were 'in love' with him per se. He was practically your other half. Nobody else could compare to that. But it was hard to decipher whether you even liked him like that. "You know. The usual; stuff about when you all were younger and more embarrassing moments."

Josh covered his face with his hands, groaning. "I hope it wasn't all too bad." He shook his head, eating the last bits of food. "Not at all, actually." As you both finished your plates, you sat in comfortable silence. That was until Josh spoke out about something.

"Hey remember that time- ugh geez, when was it," he asked, pressing on his face. "Probably around the time I first met you, and I pretty much knew then you hated my fucking guts, man" You let out a breath at the thought of Josh thinking you hated him. "But that was also the time I kept catching you listening to the album at the time. Just over and over and over again." Josh just shook his head thinking of you. "I didn't- hate you," you confessed. "I just really didn't know how to be around people so much. I did like that album though." you laughed, pointing at Josh. Who also laughed along with you. "Look, I'm sorry I made you feel that way; I just, I've never really had close friends like you." Before he could say anything back, you picked up the plates, placing them in the sink.

From inside the kitchen, you could hear him talking to his brothers on the phone. The usual screaming, laughing, and anger from whatever stupid joke someone told. It honestly made you wish you were closer to your own sister. Whom you haven't spoken to in the past ten years. After you finished off with the dishes, you walked to your bedroom. Which was hard to admit, but you had an entire wall full of Greta Van Fleet photos from when you first started working with them because you had a hard time telling who was who.

"Oh, I remember these photos!" Josh exclaimed as walked into your room. He marveled at all the photos you had printed out and plastered on the wall. Some even had labels of all the boy's names. "Yeah, a little creepy, don't you think?"

Josh shrugged. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because you didn't know who we were, and I know some people have a hard time differentiating between us twins." You turned around and opened up the bag full of record vinyl, handing some to Josh. "Here, I bought some for you earlier, and I figured I could use some- given the only two I have are from your band." He giggled, flipping through the different albums. "Oh, Bob Dylan! What a legend and old Michael Jackson! Very good stuff." You patted his shoulder as you put away all the other albums on a shelf.

"So, the spare bedroom should be good-" Josh cut you off. "I was hoping to sleep with you, actually. Unless that makes you too uncomfortable." You nearly choked on your own spit when Josh asked you that. You really didn't think he'd be that lonely. "Um, no that's fine. I'm sure I have someone's clothes here you can use." He grinned.

"Thanks." You handed him some spare clothes and left him to change in the bathroom. When you returned he was already tucked in, facing the wall with the pictures. Turning off the light, you quietly slid in next to him. You'd never really been in this much of an intimate situation, no less next to Josh. It wasn't awkward, but it was just hard to decipher the feelings of the both of you, and where he was going with his suggestion. "Can I ask you something?" Josh whispered. He turned around to face you closer.

"What was your initial thought when you first met me?" You laughed a little to yourself. "When I first met you I wanted to be exactly like you." Josh propped himself up on his elbow, leaning even closer to you.

"What about me?" he asked. "I don't know. You were always so confident, and the way you carried yourself; just, it made me so mad and angry that I couldn't be like that. Maybe that's why it came off that I hated you a little bit." Josh laid back down.

"Listen, you'll always be the best thing that happened to me. When I first met you, I thought you had the most brilliant mind out of everyone I ever met. Except for Danny. He's got an excellent brain." You smacked his arm laughing out loud.

"Thank you, Josh." You rolled over onto your side, hoping to fall asleep soon. Before you did though, you felt Josh slip an arm around your side; his face falling into the back of your neck. Soon, both of you fell asleep together.

-

When morning came the next day, Josh was still entangled in your back, but this time his arm was hugging you tighter. At any slight movement, he just pulled you closer. Finally giving up from moving away from Josh, you laid there silently in his arms. You silently traced the creases in his hand, thinking absentmindedly. He stirred a tiny bit but never woke. You took this time to turn around and look at him. His arm still wrapped around tightly on your shoulder; causing you to bury your face into his chest.

Inhaling his warm scent, you just about closed your eyes imagining a world where you were in love with him, and he loved you back. At this moment, he started to finally wake up. You decided to keep your eyes closed, too embarrassed to see what his reaction would be to find you both like this. You could feel Josh's eyes looking around the room before they made their way down to you. Feeling the certainty of him staring down at you made you panic a little. But then you could feel his hand start to part through your hair, moving it out of your face. His movement followed by leaning forward, giving you a long slow kiss on the forehead.

Then there was the fine sensation of his lips lingering on your skin. He started whispering your name, shaking you awake. You slowly blinked your eyes to make it look like you hadn't really been awake all this time. He smiled brightly when you both made eye contact. "Good morning," he said softly. You smiled, placing a hand on his chest. "Good morning Josh."

Letting out a little yawn, you turned over and sat up on the side of the bed. You sipped on some water that had been on you bedside for a while, then stretched out. "What do you plan on doing today?" you asked groggily. "Everyone wanted to meet up today and go over some stuff. Wanna join?" you quickly nodded your head.

"Great. Well then, I'll go take a shower and get ready." He walked away silently, leaving you all alone once more. Deciding against the better of things, you too got up to shower. While waiting for the water to heat up, you traced against the spots where Josh's hand had been.

It's like there was a space left on you, but you could only feel the invisible touch leftover from him. Jumping in the shower felt like you were committing a terrible sin. The handprint of Josh washed away as every drop of water hit your body. But it felt just as warm and comforting as him. After quickly getting dressed, you met Josh at the front door who was holding it open for you. The crisp autumn air surprised you in the face when you walked outside. The sidewalks weren't too busy but crowded to perfection

You both got in the car and drove to the studio. Everyone was already there by the time you two made it; For some reason, Josh had wanted to stop to get everyone coffee and a bagel, which you really couldn't say no to. Sam raised his eyebrows at you when you walked in with Josh pretty late. You hit him on the arm lightly. Sam rubbed the part of his arm, cursing you off. Everyone, including you, walked into a backroom set with all the instruments anyone could think of, and two very well-loved on couches.

The lights in the room were set to a dim, vintage-style brown, illuminating everyone's tan features. Josh handed the food out, starting the conversation. It varied from topic to topic.

"How is everyone?"

"Are there new ideas anyone wants to talk about?"

"How about we do this instead of that."

Josh snapped his fingers in front of your face, waving his hand around. "Hey silly, I asked you a question." you looked up quickly, meeting everyone's gaze. "Huh?"

"I said do you have any ideas on what we should wear?" You pulled out a small sketchbook from your jacket pocket showing Josh, and the rest of the band on the different aesthetics for clothing. "I was thinking about stitching some nudity art on the back for Josh. I'll probably go shopping for some silk and thread. I found this really cool jacket piece for Jake; I'll add some things on it, and a shiny blazer for Sam. As for Danny, I found these really nice pants, but I have to tailor them. I'm still trying to find a smooth shirt to go with."

You wrote down some reminder notes giving the rest some time to process anything and get started. Josh sat next to you on one of the couches, pulling out his note journal. He pointed out some of the lyrics, whispering to himself before showing it to you. "I came up with these this morning." your cheeks turned red, though you doubt Josh could see given how dark it was. You read through the lines in each glorious manner. They each had a delicate touch to them, written with something personal

It reminded you of something ethereal. Like being in outer space, and getting to look at all the planets from afar. "What are you thinking?" Josh asked. You let out a short breath before answering. "I think it's good. Really good in fact. I can feel it's personal to you, you know."

Before he could respond, there was a line of curses causing you both to look up. Jake was yelling at himself and the guitar in his hands with a tiny string poking out from the neck of the guitar.

"This fucking piece of shit keeps breaking," he he groaned, with gritted teeth. Rolling your eyes, you went to the other grabbing some new guitar strings. Handing them back Jake, he mumbled out a thank you. "Guess what, it's not that hard to get up and get new strings, Jake. I just did it by myself." Everyone laughed at your taunting to Jake, getting rid of his frustrated mood.

"Well, you're the best." He poked your shoulder. You headed back to another room to think about some more things. Possibly about Josh; but the majority for the band. Really working with them, never gave you time to put yourself out there. Which wasn't a terrible thing. In fact, you preferred not to out. You've always had a one-track mind. Focused too much on one thing, forgetting completely about anything else. It's probably why you'd failed out of most schools during your high school and college career. It always ended up being too much for your brain to handle.

Maybe that's what you feared most. Things always getting in the way; either making you angry, or angry enough to run away and never look back. You didn't want that with Josh. Nor did you want that for this band. You made some more scratch notes, listening to the muffled sound of music. After a while, you doodled in your notebook for some clothing ideas. Stitching had been one of the many skills that stuck with you since when. You never really knew where you learned to do such a thing.

Josh always told you how marvelous your work was. That it belonged in a museum of some sort. He knew somehow that you'd do great things with art. When sketching became boring, you shopped around online for some fabric, and thread, ordering what you needed. When finished some smaller portions of work, you fell back on the couch pushing your hair out of your face. Josh walked in at the right time, pulling you back into the studio.

"We hashed some things out, figured what don't and do want for some of the songs. Think we'll be ready to record in a few weeks." All the boys cheered each other on, pushing each other around. "I think this calls for a celebration over some drinks."

"Great idea. There's a bar a couple of blocks from here. What do you say?" Everyone hummed in agreement, piling out the door. Josh had a hand on your back as he walked you out through all the doors.

-

When you walked inside there were a few people seated around. It wasn't overbearing crazy. Everyone took a seat at the bar ordering drinks. You had already taken a couple of tequila shots to loosen up for the night. "So tell me," Josh slouched down in his seat. "What do you think the future holds for this band." You giggled, already a little drunk.

"What I think doesn't matter Josh. I think that you'll be successful in whatever you choose to do. I think it's you as the leader to help everyone along. In my opinion, they're here to support you and your ideas. I mean, of course, they have their own input but you get what I'm saying." Josh nodded along, sipping his drink. "That's quite a mouthful, but yeah. I'd do anything for these people. For Christ's sake, three of them are my brothers. And Danny I've known for like ever." He pointed to them, which they were all fighting about something.

Josh shook his head, looking down at the floor. He placed a hand on your shoulder as he left for another drink. Sam soon replaced Josh, slouching in the same position. "What were you two talking about." He waved a finger around your face. To which, you quickly swatted away. "He loves you, Sam. We love you. I love you, Sam."

Sam pursed his lips, squinting his eyes. "You're that drunk already?" You hummed looking at your watch seeing as only twenty minutes had passed. "Well Sam, the night's still young, so I'm willing to get fucking wasted if you are." He quickly nodded his head, ordering the two of you more drinks. As the night went on, all of you managed to play twelve rounds of pool (none of which you won), a game of cards, and meet totally random people. You, including the boys, were completely wasted and it wasn't even one in the morning. Danny and Jake had left to go god knows where, leaving you, Sam, and Josh talking to some random girl at a table. Looking over at Josh, you felt your heart hurt a little.

Sometimes you wish you had the assertiveness that Josh had to talk to him. Deep down you knew he would never reject you. He would randomly bring up why you never got together, but you always dismissed the conversation too scared of what might happen. Sam slipped next to you, turning his chair around to face you. He followed your line of sight, his eyes landing on Josh laughing with the same girl who's been here for hours.

"Look, if it pisses you off that much, talk to him later. It's not like he's gonna hate you for the rest of his life. He practically loves you to death." You shook your head, taking another drink of your beer. "I'm just- I'm not mad- I'll just never be able to be that person who can just randomly walk up to a person and fall 'in love' with them." You cried. Every time you think about it, you just want to go to bed and hide. "But how come I never end up with people like you or Jake or even sweet people like Danny. Why does it have to be Josh?"

Sam sat up in his chair, turning it back around to face the bar. "Why don't you try it. Maybe you fighting inside that big head of yours really doesn't like Josh after all." Sam said as he cradled your face, shaking it around. "Really?" Sam shrugged. "What's the worse that can happen? If something happens, so be it. Never hurts to try anything."

Sam bent down quickly, kissing you softly. His lips felt smooth against yours like running a hand over pliable silk. He swiftly ran a hand through your hair, pulling your face closer to his. Finally, he pulled away, smiling down at you.

"Nope." you shook your head. "Well hey, at least we know." He patted your shoulder, walking away towards a game of cards being played.

-

The next day you woke up with an intense headache. There was some leftover water and Ibuprofen on your nightstand. You didn't know how you made it back home or really remember anything at all from the night before.

You downed the pill and some water, making your way slowly to the bathroom, balancing yourself on a wall. You turned on the shower letting the hot water settle the uneasiness in your stomach. The pounding inside your head kept going on for what felt like hours. It didn't help either that you were trying so hard to remember the night before. Of course, you knew that you drank more than you could handle. Then there was Sam. But it all stopped there.

The shower helped a little bit. You danced around to find some clothes to get ready, or at least look decent. After getting ready, you drove back to Sam's. When he opened the door, you noticed Jake and Danny were there already. Except for no Josh. Not that it was out of the ordinary, it was just something you expected.

You made your way through his kitchen, pulling out a cigarette. "I don't think you really wanna be smoking that right now." You glared at him before putting the smoke out. "Um, do you remember what happened last night?" You asked, rubbing the small spot on your head in hopes to get rid of the pain. Sam bit into a piece of food, answering with his mouth full. "We kissed. Yeah," he nodded in assurance. "Yeah, we kissed." You let your head fall into your hands, groaning.

"How'd I get home?" Sam hummed, pointing his piece of food at you. "Josh. Although, he seemed pretty pissed at me. You were also super drunk." Right, you thought. Of course, this would happen to you. Partially you blamed yourself for being so stuck-up and bitchy most of the time, but part of you wishes Sam just pushed you away. Why were you so indecisive all the damn time? For once, it would be nice if you could make a whole-hearted decision without going out and fucking everything up.

You scratched around your eye, watching Sam as he went to go sit next to Jake.

4 weeks later. . .

It really had been almost a whole month that you had gone without talking to Josh. Some nights you wish you could pick up your phone and just text him, but you know it would go unnoticed. It hurt just a little bit. Every day you blamed yourself for screwing things up. When was it not your fault that something went wrong?

You sat bored at home. You tried to catch up on different things like laundry, cleaning, reorganizing literally everything, but nothing seemed to work. You muffled curses under your breath at nothing. That was until you got a text from Jake saying that everyone needed your 'strong womanly brain' to work with. Over the four-week period, you hadn't really talked with the other band members except for Danny (who seriously cares for anybody and everything), and Sam who just random stuff.

You flipped through a random magazine, flipping through the pages reading about the different styles and how to flaunt them. That was until a text from Sam disturbed you saying that everyone needed you at the studio ASAP.

You ran to your door faster than ever, quickly putting on your coat and shoes. When you arrived, no one was seen at first, so you went to the back and everyone was gathered around in a large, huddled circle. Jake was the first to greet you, Sam following close behind.

"Hey! I haven't seen you in a long time." Jake towered over you, pulling you into his side. "Yeah, my mom called. Wanted me to go see her." you lied, looking at Sam, who had just turned in the other direction. "Well, I hope she's doing good. Look, I wanted to see your opinion on some things. Just general stuff, okay?" you nodded. He led you back to a table and passed some papers around, and a little CD that had pre-recorded music. Before any of you could speak though, a door creaked loudly, and out came Josh with a petite girl beside him. His smile immediately disappeared when his eyes landed on you.

The girl looked. . . nice. In other words, she looked like a pleasant enough girl Josh would pick from a crowd. She had a tan, rich skin like his. With wavy, brown hair. Unlike Josh, she had more hazel-green eyes. Everyone stood there awkwardly, looking around at each other. You scratched the top of your head, eyes facing down towards the table. Jake cleared his throat before grabbing a seat for Josh, and the girl.

And of course, to make more room they were both seated in between you and Jake, making her sit right next to you. You smiled nervously towards her as she got herself situated. For a while, you stared at the velvet walls as Jake led on the conversation. You felt a little poke on your arm and noticed she was trying to talk to you.

"Hi, I'm Logan," she whispered. The one thing you noticed about Logan was her smile. It reminded you of Josh. His naturally bright teeth could make anyone instantly happier. "Y/N," you said curtly. You weren't the one to start a conversation, but luckily she made it easy.

"So, how do you know Josh?" she asked, pointing to him. You played around with your nails, turning to look at her. "Uh, I work for him," Not 'I'm his best friend or anything. Totally just ruined the relationship I had by kissing his younger brother because I'm really in love with the man your dating' "And them too, of course." you gave a hesitant laugh, pointing to the rest of them. She bit her lip, turning to listen to the conversation, and then back to you.

"How long have you known all of them, or like worked for them I guess?"

"Around three years. This will be my fourth I think." she nodded with your answer. Finally, she turned back around to listen to what Josh was saying.

You looked back down at the disc, swirling it around on the table. This is hard, you thought. It's all you can think about. Logan's so kind towards you; not the weirdly hostile type. She's not annoying, not inconclusive about anything. Logan's perfect in her own way. She's perfect to Josh. Something you've always wanted, but you, yourself stopped you from having.

"So, uh Y/N, can you take a listen to the CD?" Jake asked you. "Yeah. It'll just be a little later though. I have to finish some other stuff." There was silence as everyone stared at you. Including Josh, who seemed to have a permanent look on you.

"I can listen; if you're busy," Logan speaking up caught you by surprise. It may have angered you a bit because that was your job, to listen. You just looked back at Sam anxiously, who shook his head at you.

"Oh, my bad," Josh said loudly. "This is my girlfriend- Logan. Who you have all met before, but not Y/N. Forgot to introduce you two." If everyone hadn't been in the room right now, you would've gotten up and hit him right across the head. Logan kindly smiled back at you. "Yeah, we were talking earlier," She said pointing to you. "Well, as I said, I can listen if you can't."

If it was anybody else, you would've said something back already. But who were you to yell at this kind, beautiful woman next to you? Though, Sam must've read you wrong since quietly grabbed your wrist. "Sure," you said, handing the CD to Logan. Sitting back in your chair, defeated, what else were you supposed to do?

-

Another lousy week passed, and you wanted to jump off a roof. It had been raining for the past few days, never letting up once. No one had really made contact with you except Danny (you secretly loved him to death), and Sam. You were pretty sure the rest had picked up on the tense atmosphere and didn't want to bother you. No doubt, you probably wouldn't want to speak with yourself either.

You shrugged off a sweater, playing with the end of your sheets. Life was so boring now without any entertainment from anyone. You eventually rolled over on your back, staring a hole into the ceiling. You went over every excuse and explanation you could give to Josh. You understood why he was mad, you figured that much. But sometimes you wish he had his smart wisdom back to understand you better.

You fell to the floor sometime later, reading something random off the shelf. You flipped through the pages mindlessly before you heard some knocking at your door. You ran quickly, opening the door to find Sam standing there with bottles of gin and tequila in his hand. Laughing quietly, you led him inside, finding some bottles for drinks.

"What brings you around?" you raised your eyebrows, pouring some tequila for you and Sam. "Josh," he cleared his throat, taking a few sips. "What about Josh?" Trying to hold your breath, made you curious as to why Josh's younger brother was so angry at him. In fact, you wanted to burst out laughing. "He's so stubborn with everything, and the way he talks about you. God- it's like- I've never seen so much hatred from him." Sam shook his head downing the rest of his drink. He poured some more in his cup and your cup.

You took Sam's hand leading him to your room. You put on Labi Siffre, an old, classic album. You also turned on one of your dim colored lights. They lit up Sam's cheekbones perfectly, making his pale skin glow flawlessly. It looked smooth enough to run a finger over and feel the gentle, velvety skin of Sam.

"How does he talk about me?" Sam closed his eyes, thinking. "He just doesn't let go of the subject. Anytime you or I come up, it's just this rage of fury from him. He almost shuts down essentially. You know," he burped. "They all went out tonight."

You hummed at that. "They all went out, leaving behind you and me." You scoffed at the thought of Josh with Logan at your favorite bar or restaurant. "I'm so sorry Sam." You rubbed his arm, looking down at the floor next to your bed. "That was you and your brother's relationship, and I just," you flicked your hands, making a whoosh sound. Sam laughed, leaning into your side. "Don't worry about it. I like helping you out. Josh can be a little much sometimes."

You elbowed him in the side thinking about something. "Hey whatever happened to the girl from the music shop? You ever talk to her lately?"

"Yeah," he huffed out. "We've been talking lately. She wants to meet up sometime soon, but I don't know." You cocked your head to the side. "Why not. You clearly like her and she really likes you. I don't remember when the last time some actually liked you." Sam pretended he was hurt, pushing you to the side. "I'll ask her sometime when I'm not busy. She's nice."

"And pretty?" you questioned. Sam let out a laugh, swirling the alcohol in his cup. "Very pretty." You both let out sighs sitting in comfortable silence. Although, your mind was occupied with thoughts of Josh, swirling around and never-ending. There were times you just wanted to get up and say fuck it and try to at least explain. But of course, the rejection of him never wanting to be your friend again would kill you. Maybe this was the universe's cruel way of saying you and Josh were never meant to be together in the first place.

If so, you hated it.

-

Surprisingly, Sam was the first to wake up. Which rarely happens considering how well you knew him. The poor boy slept through everything. He started shaking you awake, poking and tickling your sides. "Are you dead, jeez?" You quickly rubbed your eyes, sitting up. "Sorry, the alcohol must've really knocked me out." Sam stifled a yawn, sitting on the edge of your bed. "Well, we can do one of two things today," he noted. "We can either go to the studio and face my brother, or we can- do nothing else. That's really it. I kind of swore I would be there today."

You couldn't stay inside any longer. You decided against the greater good to tag along with Sam. Maybe you could talk with Josh, and clear the air. "Can I go with you?" Sam nodded feverishly. "Of course; that's like your job."

"It doesn't feel like it. Logan's pretty much taking over, so what's the point of me." You scoffed thinking of the mellow girl who seemed to get along with everyone. You hated to slander her, but you just wanted Josh back. You and Sam left in a rush, hastily driving to the studio. You walked inside with a cigarette dangling from your lips, smoke escaping through your nose. Sweat seeped from your palms making you excited and nervous at the same time. You felt like an outsider coming in on your job. Thinking about seeing Josh made it worse.

"Hello, Hello Y/N" Danny strutted over, hairs sticking to his forehead. He pulled you in for a tight hug, nearly suffocating you. "Hey, Daniel." you moved the hairs around his face so you could see him better. "Long time, no see, man." He laughed walking back to his seat behind the drum kit. You followed Sam to the other rooms where Jake and Josh might be hiding. Sure enough, Josh was standing next to his twin, listening to a riff he was playing. They immediately stopped talking to each other. Josh scoffed at you as Sam led you inside, beside him.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" Josh said it lowly, spitting it towards you. Your eyes looked down, not daring to ever lookup. "Hey Josh," Sam patted him on the shoulder. You looked awkwardly around the room looking for a means to escape. When you realized there wasn't one, you looked back at Josh. He quietly talked to Jake about something before turning to you. You tried to look away fast enough, but his eyes caught yours. Josh started to stalk close to you, exhaling a breath. "Hey," you thought he might've not heard you, but his response caught you off guard.

"Hey, Y/N" He sniffled a little bit before turning towards you. "Care to take a walk with me? Could use some fresh air." You nodded your head silently, following after him. If your anxiety hadn't kicked in yet, it sure as hell did now. Josh was never a person to scare you. He was too light and giddy for him to be somewhat freighting.

He walked slightly behind you with a hand on the small of your back. Josh eventually let go of you when you both made it to the sidewalk. The people around you made the silence slightly more comfortable but you wished you had something to think about other than Josh. After a few more moments of silence, you decided to speak up, but Josh beat you to it. "I'm sorry for being an ass," he cleared it all out on one breath. You scoffed at him. "I think you were being more than an ass, Josh." He suddenly slowed his walking to match your pace.

"You pretty much left me in the wind. I thought I lost my best friend," you nudged him softly in the ribcage, laughing. He held a hand over his chest, heaving out a relieved breath. "I thought you were going to hate me forever." You pointed at him before saying: "Pull anything like that again, and I'll do more than just hate you forever."

Josh held his hands up abruptly like you had caught him stealing something. "I promise." You smirked. The both of you walked around endlessly making small talk here and there. Part of you was glad that you and Josh had cleared the air. Although, you hadn't really talked with him about Sam. It embarrassed you just thinking about the whole situation.

After you made a full round of the streets, Josh walked you back inside the studio. It was hours before anyone ever got to go home. The moon had fully risen and was shining brightly in the sky. You stared up like a child, holding on tightly to your coat. When you were making your way towards Sam's car Josh had grabbed you by the elbow.

"Y/N," Josh fiddled around with the collar of his jacket, looking down at the concrete. Even though it was pitch black outside, you could tell Josh's face was heating up. "I was wondering if you wanted to come back with me? I know Sam was taking you home, but I still feel like we need to talk." A small smile started to quickly form. You nodded not thinking about the harm that could come from staying with Josh.

"Yeah, sure." you let a hesitant sigh before following him once more. When you arrived inside Josh's home it felt almost foreign. There were slightly disheveled things around, but nothing had really changed. It still had all the same scattered records on the coffee table as well as random books set around the countertops. Josh flipped on the light switch and went towards the kitchen. He came back out and handed you a cup of water before taking off his coat.

"I know, it's been a long time since we spoke," he started. "or even hung out together."

You nodded, sipping some of the water. "Yeah, I kind of missed that."

-

After you and Josh got situated, he led you back to his room. There was a dim lamp, along with some new fairy lights scattered around the ceiling. "Fairy lights?" You pointed to the little bulbs sparkling brightly. "Oh, yeah," Josh was picking out a record, finally placing it on the player. It was an album you hadn't heard before, but it seemed to fit the mood well enough. Looking around for a little bit longer you come to find some old pictures on the floor. Squatting down, you noticed they were photos of his brothers and Daniel when they were younger. But what really caught your attention was a stack neatly dedicated to you.

Some of the photos had showcased some of you and Josh's late adventures, and the concerts you had appeared to. One in particular in which Josh had his arms wrapped around your middle, seated around a bonfire. That was a night you remember very clearly. That was when you realized how much you loved Josh. He never left your side and coddled you close to him. The memory warmed your heart making it beat a tiny bit faster.

"That was a very hot summer night if I remember correctly." Josh peered over your shoulder, studying the picture. "Yeah, it was. Then I passed out inside the van right after that," you laughed loudly, tossing your head back. Running a finger over your face in the picture still reminiscing on the sweet memory, you could feel Josh watching you from across the room.

"Can you come up here for a sec?" Josh patted his mattress, motioning to you. You could tell he was nervous still when he started to fumble around with his nails, not making much eye contact. "Do you remember when I asked you why you envied me so much?" He let out a slow breath, nudging you a little bit with his elbow. You realized the change in the situation and started to mirror his nervous tics.

"Yeah, I just- wish I could carry myself like you. You're always the most confident person in the room; you know things Josh that no one could ever know." The two of you sat in silence for a little bit after you answered. Josh hesitated before speaking again but continued on after pondering for a bit. "Well, I never felt that way around you. For the longest time, I would beat myself up just thinking about how wonderful you are Y/N. The way you think of me is how I always thought of you. Just not as confident because of how quiet you are sometimes." He laughed out the last part making you smile back.

"God, sometimes I just want to cry because of how amazing you are Y/N. Everything you've done for this band, everything you've done for me; I just - I love you." You slowly turned your head to look at Josh, replaying the words over and over again in your head.

He loves you.

"I'm going to assume you mean in it in that way Josh or this would be very embarrassing." Josh snickered, putting both hands on the side of your face. "I mean it in every way possible." He finally pressed his lips to yours, feeling the velvet touch of each other. Josh ran his fingers through your hair, pressing his tongue in an open-mouthed kiss. You moaned quietly when he started to press kisses along your jaw, down to your neck. You could feel his hands start to travel down to your waist, hugging you tightly as it showed in the picture.

Josh continued to bite down on your skin and sucked, leaving bright red marks behind. His fingers squeezed down on your hips before traveling under your shirt. He placed a knee between your legs, pushing you further into the mattress. You looked at each other momentarily as Josh slipped you out of your shirt. He ran his hands over your stomach making you flinch at the sudden touch.

"Josh," His name came out as a whine as Josh slipped off your bra, throwing it towards the floor. You caught the look of awe when his eyes landed on your breasts, your chest heaving slightly. He returned to kissing down your neck making his way down your collar bone. Your hands made their way to his hair, tugging at it when his mouth made contact with your nipple.

He sucked gently, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. All you could think about was the euphoric thoughts running through your brain. All you could see were stars, showing up in random directions making you lost in the feeling. Josh continued for a while before slowly traveling down to your legs.

Josh looked at you for approval, to which you vaguely nodded in return, before pulling off your pants. You shuddered at the delicate touch of his fingers ghosting along your skin. His hands traveled back up your calves, pressing at your thighs. The room suddenly became too hot as his fingers wrapped around the strap of your underwear, pulling them down your legs. Your breathing was so ragged by now that you thought Josh might've pointed it out already, but he continued to stare down at you with the most mesmerizing look in his eyes. You knew at this point if this had been anyone else, you probably would've wanted to hide under the bed. Something so comforting about Josh made it feel natural to in his grasps.

Josh started down at your ankles, pressing hard kisses up your legs. He hovered over your pelvis just before kissing around your clit. Your legs immediately started to close at the feeling, but his hand pushed them back farther. "Josh, oh my god!" You moaned out into nothing. He continued sucking hard on your clit making the stars in your head come closer to earth.

"Josh, please," Your hands pulled at his curls as he lapped around your center. "You're so fucking wet for me Y/N. Jesus," He moaned into your heat making you squirm on the bed.

"Please Josh, use your fingers, please." You whined mercilessly at the thought of coming around his fingers. It wasn't long before you felt two fingers drag inside of you, along with the feeling of him sucking your clit. You could feel yourself getting nearer to your orgasm as he curled his fingers against your g-spot. "Josh, don't fucking stop!"

At the perfect moment, everything seemed to fall apart in the most beautiful way. You leaned your head back into the pillow as your vision turned white with little black dots appearing randomly. Josh's breath fanned over your heat before he stood up to take off some of his clothes.

"Can't really have sex if I'm still dressed like I'm going to fucking prom or something, Jesus." You giggled loudly while you watched him crawl back over you. Josh pressed a soft kiss to your lips, grinding his hips against you. Your hand slowly ran over his chest, grabbing onto his belt. You fumbled around until you managed to get it undone along with his pants. Josh stared at your face, admiring your features. "I don't think I'll be able to take you seriously for much longer if you don't do something," you whispered.

"Oh yeah?" Josh raised an eyebrow, smiling at you. You slowly reached past his briefs making contact with his hard-on, causing him to moan quietly and start kissing you again.

"Uh, I don't think I have any condoms on me; I didn't really envision fucking you tonight." You smirked, wrapping your arms around his neck. "It's okay. I'm on the pill." You pulled his underwear down, hiking your legs around his hips loosely. You could feel yourself getting wetter as he passively rolled his forefinger over your clit. You kissed him hard, sucking on his tongue. "Fuck me, please," you begged. Josh looked deeply into your eyes, then grabbing your legs and wrapping them around his hips, tightly. He teased you, rubbing himself up and down your center.

You exhaled as he entered you, wrapping a hand around his bicep to steady yourself. Josh's head fell into your neck, feeling his warm breath as he trusted in slowly. He lifted his head to kiss you; He used his hand to move the hairs out of your face, wrapping it around your cranium. "You are so- prepossessing." He whispered, his thrust becoming faster.

Your nails dug into his shoulder blades after he set such a brutal pace that you didn't think you'd be able to keep up with. You took note of how his curls stuck to his forehead. Whenever he thrust in, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer. His thrust started to shake the bed only spurring you on more. Your hands grabbed at his torso, holding onto him tightly.

"Josh," you breathed out, words lost as they left your mouth. "Don't stop." Josh looked between your bodies as they pressed together. He thrust in deep, pressing you into the bed further. You cursed under your breath, trying to hold back the moans only releasing small high-pitched whines. Your head fell back against the pillow, all the tension releasing your body slowly. "Fuck," Josh moaned into your collarbone. He tightened his grip on your thigh, quickening his thrusts.

You ran your fingers along the nape of his neck, feeling the little hairs stick to his body. Josh moaned, feeling him cum deep inside you. His head fell into your neck as you both tried to catch your breath. Josh smiled, pressing kisses to your chest before laying down next to you.

"Fuck you're amazing," Josh mumbled into your ear. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder pulling your head to his chest. His hands ran down your arm, squeezing the tiny bit of flesh. "Tell me something I don't already know Joshua." You flipped over onto your side, Josh following in pursuit. He tightened his arm once more around your stomach this time. He pressed small kisses along your shoulder, laying his face into your hair.

"I love you," He mumbled.

"I love you too." You placed your hand over his, peace finding you easy tonight.

-

When you woke up the next morning, Josh still had you in his arms, snoring softly. Like you, he liked to get up when it was still dark out, but given last night you couldn't blame either of yourselves for wanting to sleep in. Josh woke up sometime after, pressing small kisses into the nape of your neck down to your shoulder blades.

"Good morning," he said quietly, wrapping his legs around yours, pulling his body closer to yours.

"Morning Josh." You closed your eyes allowing the quiet of the room to comfort you. It seemed pretty peaceful outside, from what you could hear at least. But your mind was running a thousand miles a minute. How did a three-year friendship change so drastically? If someone told you that three years later you'd be sleeping with Josh, you probably start cursing them out at the bare minimum. Josh infuriated you at the beginning, but what changed that you couldn't get enough? Maybe it was his style? Everyone loves Josh's style. He doesn't really care what goes together, as long as it fits him and his outrageous personality. Speaking of which, Josh's personality was unspoken of. People turned heads when he walked through doors because he was always the life of the party. Normal people just naturally gravitate towards him. Heck, you couldn't even keep up the 'holding a grudge' façade for too long because Josh helped you. Maybe you thanked him for that instead.

"I think we need to get up," you said, patting his hand. He protested that you two keep sleeping longer because it's too early. "Josh it's like," you squinted your eyes towards the clock. "Nine am." You yelled, pushing his arm of you.

You ran into the bathroom to pee before jumping in the shower. After taking some time cleaning yourself and changing into something more comfortable (which ended up being one of Josh's old college sweatshirts because he insisted you looked really good in them) you both left to the studio. Of course, the first one to greet you was your favorite out of the four, Daniel. After he finished talking with Josh, he led the both of you to a back room. It was a large decorated room that you hadn't really been in much. The walls were in stripes of inverted red along with carpet having a velvet touch to it. Plaques labeled the wall with other types of scandalous music art.

Jake and Sam walked in together already arguing about something. "Lookey here," Jake pulled you into a side hug, and Sam passed you a drink. "I thought my smoking habits were bad, but drinking at ten in the morning?" you tutted Sam away from you, taking a seat at a large table. "It helps me think more clearly."

Josh took a seat next to you, placing a hand on your thigh. "Hey, you never showed me the finish drawing for your clothing ideas." You raised your eyebrows and said: "I wonder why." You cocked your head to the side, and Josh frowned at you. Snickering to yourself, you handed him a sketchbook. "These are- really good, Y/N. I forgot you could draw so well." You doodled around the paper of a sketched-out Josh in what would be fashion attire for next year. "One of my many hobbies."

He patted your leg before turning his attention to his twin. Sam waltzed over to your side, a cigarette hanging from his lips. "Is that my brother's sweatshirt?" You glared at him before answering a subtle yes. Sam gasped in a fake manner, holding a hand across his heart.

"Are you two in love with each other finally?" Sam laughed at you giving him a side-eye. "Good. you make Josh happy." Content with that, he left to go sit next to Danny. You played around with the drawing some more, later on, moving to a computer to work there. Everyone left you alone to go play in another room which seems to help numb the background noise. Though, it didn't last long until Josh walked through the door. He strutted over to you, rubbing a hand on your back before sitting down.

"How's it goin' in there?" You closed the laptop, turning your attention towards him. Josh talked about how everything's coming along nicely, and Jake is stubborn about everything or how Sam is always messing up. You hummed, following along. Not that you would ever tell Josh, but sometimes you never would really listen to what he was saying, but you loved to watch his hand movements or the expressions on his face. It added to his character. "I meant to ask you some time ago, but uh- whatever happened to Logan?" Josh immediately froze, looking down to the floor like a scolded puppy.

"I told her I would talk to her later this week." You shook your head, crossing your arms. "What?"

"Nothing; I was just thinking we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me oodling with your brother." Josh laughed at your choice of words, placing his hand softly on yours. "I think it was both us Y/N."

'Well, in my defense Sam is kind of hot now that I think about it." Josh slapped your shoulder. "Mmmm, you're right Sam does have that 'sense' to him." Time seemed to fly by the five of you, constantly arguing, laughing, or just goofing off with each other. It felt good to be back with everybody, and not walking around on eggshells. Sometimes the moment was so pleasant, you never wanted it to end.

-

It was eerily quiet when you walked inside Josh's home. It was nighttime, and the moon was full, shining brightly through the curtains. "Don't you ever wish you could see the stars?" Josh asked randomly.

"Light pollution man," He mumbled out, yeah, heading towards his bedroom. You peeked outside the window one more time, catching a glimpse of the clouds in the sky. Josh had changed into some comfier clothing and slid under the covers. You followed in pursuit, still wearing his old college t-shirt. "Where do you think we'll be in ten years?" The question had taken you by surprise. You knew he had a tendency to think a lot about the future, which was kind of admirable, but you had a hard time figuring out what the future would hold for you.

"That's hard to tell; Not unless I kill you first, but uh, I think we'll still be together, and so will the band. I guess it's just up to the rest of us." Josh hummed at your input. He flipped over on his side to look at you. "I hope we're together forever." Your face started to blush, although you doubt Josh could see, this time you wished he did.

"Me too." Your voice came out with full confidence knowing every ounce of you could never let him go. "Hey, do you think you'd ever let me wear your outfits after this next tour? They're kind of stylish if I say so myself." Josh laughed out loud. "I don't think they'd fit you, honey." You scoffed, pouting.

"Josh, I hate to break it to you but you're not that big." A playful laugh escaped your mouth while you pinched his arm. He pushed you back in return. "I meant your height." He shook his head. You turned around, allowing Josh to trap you in his arms.

"I hope I get to see you in heaven. If there is one." The sound of his voice made you want to cry. It was soft whisper that it felt so delicate at this moment.

"I think if you've seen me then, you will see me forever."

[chdarling]

Hi Ch! I don't know if anyone else sent you this ask-but what does CH stand for? Like, is there a story behind that name?(can you tell I'm a sucker for good stories? Like your last enemy series.Oh,and about that, take all the time you want, we will still be here when you decide to post it.)Does it feel like overkill to say that your books are better than most published books I've read? Because it's true. The only other book I have read that captured switching povs so well is six of crows.

Ohhh, there is a story, as a matter of fact, but it’s more about the Darling, than the CH. It’s a little lengthy and melodramatic, so strap in. 🤣

So, I was in my early twenties and I was working in Asia for a stretch of time. For reasons I won’t go into here, it was a very difficult time in my life. I ended up quitting that job and because I couldn’t bear to go home, I bought a plane ticket to Scotland. I figured if I was going to be depressed and miserable I might as well do it in my favorite place in the world…so to Edinburgh I flew. It was a questionable decision, for many reasons. Primarily because — and this may shock you — suddenly finding oneself in Scotland does not, actually, cure depression. Who knew??

So I hadn’t really planned anything. I had a tiny little attic room in a hostel I could barely afford and well over a week of blank, depressing space to fill. I was dangerously depressed and basically broke because I’d just bought a foolish plane ticket halfway across the planet. So I spent my days mostly just walking the stretch of the city and eating pre-packaged salmon & cheese sandwiches. 🙃

One of the places I stumbled upon and that I kept returning to was Greyfriars Kirkyard. I’m a bit of a graveyard junkie (I like to collect names), so I spent a fair amount of time just wandering around, writing down names that caught my fancy. Good, free fun. 😂 At one point I came across a particularly old, age-crusted tombstone that just said:

Thomas Darling

Writer

That was it. Just…”writer.” And I remember thinking “……..that’s the dream.” 🤣

And I was at a point in my life where I really didn’t want to be me anymore, I wanted to be literally anyone else, even a dead Scottish dude from god knows when. And I thought ‘if I ever manage to write something decent, I’m going to publish it under Darling.’

Fast forward to 2020 and I’m trying to come up with a pen name for AO3 and a little gremlin in the back of my brain goes: “Heh heh. Darling.”

Oh, also, I learned after the fact that that graveyard is where a lot of the HP names came from, so it felt doubly appropriate for TLE.

The C.H. isn’t really anything, just that I’ve always appreciated the vaguely romantic anonymity of initials as a pen name. C is my first initial, H is something else (not any of my names), but I shall keep it a secret for privacy reasons :)

Anyway, that’s it! Not that much to it, really, just a little inside joke with myself. Sorry for the excessively long trip down memory lane but that was kind of fun 😂

And thank you so much for the kind words!! 🥺🥺🥺 That truly means so much to me ❤️❤️❤️

[idjitlili]

I, I will be king.(II)

Din Djarin x reader.

Part 1. Masterlist.

Summary:Din Djarins feelings get in the way,  when you reach your master once again.Din finally drops you off with your master, before he leaves for what seems for months. Second part and last part.

Word count:4497

Warnings: confusing? Honestly comparing din to a fridge isn't the best thing I've wrote.

A/n: OH AND this is the finished request for anonymous and @elkhead-art sorry it too so long.

As the sound of nothingness caused your eyes to slowly awake along with your consciousness, dark surrounded you. A small orange light was only to be seen outside. You were warm, and comfortable laying in a bed.  You recognised the texture of the blankets, the outline of the room. This wasn't anyone's room, it was yours.

Almost felt like you had dreamt the past few months, you had never left Luke, and never met the Mandalorian. But that was false, it had all happened, you were now back on Ahch-To. You had made it, you wondered if Mando was still here. 

On Ahch-To you lived in a small hut thing, so did Luke and so would Grogu. The island surrounded by water, no sand not much anyways, thankfully. Blue milk? We do not speak of that.

Soon enough you were wide awake,your feet had carried you outside, the atmosphere pitch black except the glowing orange in the distance where two figures sat.

"Luke?" The outlines of the bodies began to clear, it was clearly Luke and Mando with Grogu sat in his lap. Their heads turned to you, Luke's lips twitching up , he had stood up quickly making his way to you. "Padawan, I have missed you." Pulling you into a tight hug, his arms around your shoulders, you head dug into his chest. "What about no attachments, master?"

Scoffing Luke had placed his hands on your shoulders to look you directly in the eye. "That was very unwise, I told you to stay here for a reason, now you have months worth of teaching to catch up on."

"Sorry? I have learnt many lessons with the Mandalorian, we even met some other Mandalorians and guess what? They had met Anakin Skywalker , Obi-wan, when he was so very handsome, and Ahsoka. Plus, Mando has met Ahsoka , recently as well." You sat beside Mando, in front of the fire, Luke on one side and him on the other.

"Sounds like you had a good time, I hope you didn't have a great time." You weren't sure what Luke was trying to imply but you didn't care, your eyes had caught the green creature in Mando's lap. His hand reaching for you, offering your figure for him , his tiny green hand clutching it, though he could talk to you through the force, you already knew his name and he knew yours. 

Grogu had stood up, shuffling back onto Mando's other thigh, bringing your hand with him. All three of you watched his movements. Mando's hand against his thigh, whilst the his other was behind Grogu in case he fell. His breath hitched when Grogu reached down and gripped his finger. You didn't dare pull your hand from Grogu, as he pulled your hands together. Yours and Mando's finger tips touching, well his gloved finger tips.

Grogu had let go of your hands, looking at each of you, before interlacing his hands together. You didn't even get a chance to think about it, Mando had slid his fingers in between yours, closing them together. The small creature smiled and sat back on Mando's leg. Your hand placed on Mando's leg still locked with his. Luke hadn't said anything, Grogu getting up a second later walking towards him, no doubt that was him.

For what was a couple of hours, your hand stayed against the warmth of the Mandalorians glove. All until the early hours of day, you had stayed up talking with them, assuming he wanted as much time with Grogu as he could.

In which that point he had exuded to leave, following him to his now repaired ship, thanks to the other Mandalorians.

Luke had made you look away, as the Mandalorian removed his helmet, to say goodbye to Grogu. That was their goodbye, Grogu knew that.  Not long after that, Grogu was handed back to Luke, who step away, enabling you somewhat of privacy.

"Goodbye, Mando."

"My name is Din Djarin,"

"Oh wow, so your name isn't Mando? That's actually great, I prefer Din." A nod of his head and he was gone, felt strange, like he didn't care anymore but why would he give you his name?

You hadn't seen him for months, yet your heart-ached for him, it was stupid you weren't supposed to feel like this. Nothing would happen anyways, he was a Mandalorian you a Jedi, it wasn't supposed to be. Figuring Din had moved down on, he knew he couldn't keep Grogu, so he was trying forget. But that was not what he was doing, he wasn't abandoning Grogu no, he was trying to reclaim Mandalore.

147 days since you had last seen Din Djarin, you were shipped off by Luke's request this time.  Alone. For how long you didn't know, an undercover mission that could be quick or could take a long time , just luck.  Where you were sent was all but unfamiliar to you, uncover as bounty Hunter. Made your stomach flip, you'd be working for Boba Fett, who now had complete control of The hurts palace.  Luke had sent you to recover a Jedi that was being hunted.

Instead of your dark pants, long sleeve that you'd wear under your robes. (Yeah, basically Luke got the better outfits, you were fitted into formal Jedi wear.)  Now wearing fitted armour that covered your whole body like Din's, a helmet upon your head, dressed in dark colours. The helmet was confining , making you sweat a lot. How did Din do that all day?

You weren't sure how Luke managed to get you employed by Boba, did he just write up what is the equivalent to a Cv? Wasn't that your job , literally, you aren't supposed to get someone else to do it. 'Oh yes, I y/n am certain excellent at slicing, killing, capturing Bounties.' No, not killing that was the last resort. But, you would be able to capture bounties, so you'd be fine.

As long as you got the first bounty back to him, you would've secured the job. Luke had given you a ship to use, it was small, pre empire. Previously some junk from Tatooine, that Luke had brought to Ahch-too, and eventually you both repaired it.

With a ship and blasters, no lightsaber, you easily caught your first bounty and were in the job. Blasters seemed unpredictable, why does everyone miss? Poor design. 

For the four months you had been with Boba, well working for him, sure he had something going on with Fennec. Not that you could blame her, if Rex or fives was there and young, I'd bone, and I am total virgin. Din had been back to Ahch, Luke making up some excuse about being on supply run. And you were Boba Fett's best bounty hunter.

You were sent to Mandalore, all you was given was the location, and that it was a huge bounty for this creature dead or alive. The location wasn't even pinpoint just a part of the planet.  You knew of this planet, well heard of it.  Oh yes, like you'd see Din there.  Not Surprising Boba wouldn't go himself.

"How will I know I've found them, then?"

"You'll know."  The nod of his helmet, as he held his leg swung over the side of the chair. Not like when other bounty hunters would go in, his posture was always rigid, his hand sat upon his thighs. Fennec was always present as well, but not when you'd arrive. Boba would send her out. A nod from your helmet as you turned on your feet to leave.

"Wait," stopping before you had even taken a step, turning back to Fett. Another glance over him made it clear, he was presenting himself to you, his legs spread like that wasn't for nothing.

"Can I see what you look like?" You didn't even know what Boba looked like, but you had heard of the clones, and Obi-wan had told you about them , and how he was one of the only ones to survive. Yeah, Luke had finally taken you to the place where completely the trials that allowed you to speak to the 'dead'.

Bringing up your gloved hands to your helmet, pulling it off your head slowly. Squinting your eyes slightly as they adjusted to the lighting. Your y/c eyes fluttering to Boba who just sat there nodding at you, your helmet hooked under your arm. 

"See you soon, l/n."

"Goodbye, Fett."

With that you were headed to Mandalore with barely any knowledge of the planet, only with hope that you'd be okay. 'I don't believe in luck we make our own luck." 

Worried that you'd land on the planet and be shot, oh yes just a pre empire ship landing on your planet. Not like Hera almost died for talking. Yet, you thought nothing about someone waiting when you landed on the hot planet with ease. Though, most of the planet was inhospitable there was still some life left. A doom over the city of Sundari, in the distance.

Stepping from your ship into the atmosphere, on the edge of the ramp. Closing your eyes briefly s your stretched your arms over your head, clenching your fists closed at the same time. Satisfaction washed of you for a long moment. Yeah, that didn't last long when the sound of multiple mechanical surrounded you quickly.

Sighing as you opened your eyes again, the shape light of the planet dimmed by the filter on your helmet. Just as Suspected 4 Mandalorians surrounding, upholstering your blaster tossing it into the dirt in front of you. Lifting your eye hands above your head. Could only hope, that they thought you were a man, but you had placed your lightsaber dangerously in the front of your pants. With the plate of armour placed over that to conceal it further.

You dared not speak, maybe you'd pretend you had your tongue cut out, no , that wouldn't work they would check. You heard of Ezra Bridger maybe you'd pretend to be a hutt, no, no you didn't have a tail.

"State your business." You didn't recognise the voice of the Mandalorian definitely wasn't Din's. Lowering your hands slowly to place them on your hips, changing your whole posture.

"Han solo, I'm here looking for my wookie."

"Solo? Where's your ship then?" Scoffing at the Mandalorian, turning around and pointing to your ship.

"No, the Falcon,"

"Oh, so what you're a fan? Ships don't last forever." You were supposed to be trying to conceal your voice, but clearly that wasn't working. Your hands now cuffed behind your back, pushed onto ship and off you went to an unknown destination. Just maybe that Han Solo thing hadn't worked? Two of the Mandalorians stayed in the back of the ship, what you'd describe as the back of a police van sort of thing. Their eyes glued to you , as you sat in front of them.Only the humming from the ship could be heard, you weren't leaving the planet but travelling towards Sundari.

Your helmet still upon your head as they pulled you out of the ship by your underarms , dragging you. The lightsaber slipping in your pants slightly, you hoped that it wouldn't fall into you leg, looking like you had shat yourself. Feet scraping against the stone path , looked as if you on a plaza, the area around built up. Large steps leading to watch you could describe as a palace, it was huge. Covered with cubist murals of Mandalorians.

No, this couldn't be what Luke sent you for? You thought you were in search of Jedi's not more Mandalorians.  You hoped that they weren't taking you to their leader, was that Darth Maul still? No, he's dead? Ugh. If they searched you you'd be dead,  if they took your helmet off you'd be dead. It was no surprise you had been seen with Luke by the empire causing trouble. Depending whether they were still a neutral system.  

One of the Mandalorians from the pair that walked behind you as you were held, had made their way to the front of the group. Speaking into the com link on their right arm, in a language that you could only guess was Mando'a. Stood at the bottom of the steps waiting for a brief moment, before the huge metal doors were opened agonisingly slow. Basically Aragorn walking through those doors at Helms deep without Aragorn or anyone walking through the door.

With that, no one came out of the doors but you were pulled in the stairs and through the doors. Lead into a room with a throne? Right, no more politicians since Satine. Surprising that the room wasn't just made out complete Beskar, more pretty windows carpets , paint, paintings, Chairs  , food. Wow, they must of killed a Pirate, wasn't Mandalore broke?

In the centre of the room, a man stood, in tight fitted clothes, furs, heavy boots, a weapon upon his belt, sorry two bone a blaster the other hidden from your sight. His face aged like wine, squishy, dark brown eyes locked onto yours. If his eyes were to be compared to something, it would be that chocolate river from Willy Wonka. No fat kid in it, but a a handsome man surrounded it. Soft brunette curls on his head, wrinkles at the edges of his eyes.

"This one claims to be 'Han Solo' "  The man only nodded at the Mandalorian dismissing them, the doors shut behind you loudly. Turning to face you completely the man sat upon his Throne . 

"So, you fought with the Rebel Alliance." That voice, it was familiar yet you didn't recognise his face. Maybe he was Luke's friend that he'd often talk to , or just someone who had made a fuss at a bar. Instead of responding verbally you had just nodded too.

"Right, what rank, Han."

"I'm sorry, I would prefer if you called me by my title." Straightening your posture , bulking yourself.

"Oh? And what would that be?"  The smirk upon that mans fave indicated be was having too much fun. You were glad your helmet had a modulator.

"Captain, commander or yours." The smirk had dropped from his face, lips slightly parted, clearly flustered, only for a moment before his face went back to smouldering.

"You clearly are not who you say are. Until you tell me your purpose here I cannot allow you to leave."

You were stuck in some sort of cell, hundreds of other cells surrounding you. It looked like they had put you into the one connected to the wall of the building. Nor had they searched you again. Why? All they did was take your blaster.  He didn't even try , he just shoved you into a cell, not him directly but he didn't like you or was going to sell you off to someone. Bounty hunters didn't sway the hearts of many.

So, what did you do? Grabbed your lightsaber from your pants cut through the wall, and ran for your life.  Why it wasn't made out of beskar you didn't Know. Calling R2 from your com link, oh yes Luke had sent him with you to watch over you. Your breath heavy as you ran through the city that was covered with metal, seemed like no end. But you could t just stop and wait for R2 you weren't even sure of he could get through.

The shooting at your feet as you ran for the doors out of the city, igniting your lightsaber and throwing it the doors switches. Quickly return your lightsaber to your hand before making it to the door. The sound of their jet packs and firing dying down as you turn to face them. Stood in a line face you as you exit slowly. Your light saver back in your belt , your arms up to your shoulders as you walked backwards.

"This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caug-"  Okay, you had miscalculated you weren't planning on being grabbed from behind and pulled into a ship. The bright light of the inside of the side around you as the ramp was quickly slammed shit as you landed on the floor with a thump. This was your ship, but it wasn't R2 who you heard breathing heavily behind you.

Ahsoka Tano on your ship, Boba fett sent for her and she ended up capturing you instead. Not capturing but saving you , just said that for dramatic affect . You weren't sent to Boba for Mandalorians no of course not , if Luke wanted that he'd call Din. 

"Luke skywalker? Is your master?" Her hands on her hips as you sat in the pilots chair. She wasn't particularly fond on going with you but she did , why? That was unsure. The only reason she gave was her ship was destroyed on the planet and would not say why she was there either. Not that it was your business. 

"Yes, yes he is."

"Right."

With that you were heading back to Ahch-too but of course it's never that simple. Instead Boba Fett had taken himself out of Tatooine to personally come meet you with the bounty that he knew you had.  In fact it ended up like the Hobbit the battle of the five armies, all in space just floating. Mandalorians and Boba attached to your ship. 

Both Boba Fett, and the Mandalorians entering the cockpit at the same time, turning around in your chair with a squeak. Sighing.  A mandalorian stepping forward to look at Ahsoka who now stood , her fingers besides her lightsaber eyeing the company.

"Ahsoka?"  Though she did not reply just stood her ground, you didn't dare to move , this was a huge mess.  The mandalorian that you assumed was king now in armour that seemed familiar but all of them looked alike to be honest. At least the clones had more style, and they didn't look alike.

"What are doing with Han Solo?"

Fett scoffed looking at you briefly before turning to Mandalorian in blue. "That's not solo, I would know he tried to kill me."

"I would kill you too, Clone."  Glaring at the Mandalorian it seemed that their was something you were missing, their guns were all lowered, yet Ahsoka still stood her ground. Like she would trust anyone after what she had been through.

"As I was saying, that is not Solo. This my best bounty Hunter, l/n. She caught a Je- why is she  not in carbonite?"

"Uhm, about that Boba..." Though your explanation was cut short again, Boba's eyes did not leave yours, your cheeks felt hot under your helmet, this was R2 he allowed them to board.

"Did you not know? Your best bounty Hunter is a Jedi."   These Mandalorians we're really sucky, they just wouldn't piss off, maybe if Mando was here he'd kill them, no , he wouldn't kill his own kind. Ugh, if you had been alive when Ahsoka was young, she'd cut their heads of with no hesitation, oh but not clones.

"Yeah, that wasn't hard to see, my lightsaber was shoved down my pants, you Mandalorians suck, didn't know I was Jedi until you saw me waving around a lightsaber. Ironic."   It seemed like Ahsoka had enough, and began the engine again, on your way back to Ahch."Down your trousers, really?"

"No, my underwear." Did that sound sarcastic?

You hadn't meant to bring a party with you to Luke but here you were on the way ack home with some Mandalorians and Boba Fett. Everyone had calmed down, waiting to arrive somewhere, with no discussion about it. Was this a horrible choice endangering Grogu probably.  So, you had gotten Bobas attention bringing him out of the cockpit and into a room. Well, the only over rooms were the bathroom and your small sleeping area.

"Well, what is it?"

"Uhm, just that I am no longer working for you, sorry and yeah I don't think you should stay."

"Oh,  just lovely you are. Though, I am not sure you ar- were my best bounty hunt, you'll have to take the helmet off." What was with this guy and wanting to see your facc. Sighing you pulled your helmet from your face slowly, the cold air slapping you as your hair fell from the helmet messy. (If you have no hair then your head was looking polished and hot like Dwayne Johnson.)

Though yet again, you could not see his face, well until he pulled his off too. A deep laugh erupted from his lips as he smiled at you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"It is you."

Neither of you had notice Bo-Katan walking by after doing her business, seriously in your ship? Not that you'd notice it was her without seeing she got new armour. Oh, you know she went straight to tell her king.

So, after your short interaction with Boba, who decided he'd leave but not yet to much of your dislike. Soon as you stepped into the cockpit , the bigger framed Mandalorian was in front you, he wanted something. Looking passed him for Ahsoka who was busy with the control panel. Everyone talking to each other. Your throat itchy, this was not pleasant.

"You know you remind me of a fridge."

His visor stuck upon your face no, the silence from him, even his breathing did not stop you you. You were uncomfortable but when he wasn't speaking what were you supposed to do?

"Well, maybe a broken one because you hold yogurt but it's warm."  Again, he did not respond just stared you down.

"Beca-"

"Yes, I understand." The same modified voice as you remembered, yet you still felt intimidated still.

"Oh, not funny not then?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"That I'm not Han Solo?" Grabbing your upper arm as he scoffed pulling you towards his empty ship connected to yours. You'd only hope that if you were murdered right now, that Luke would have this surge of anger like his father and kill this man. 'Kenobi!' Okay, it just felt like it needed to be Maul rage not a 'oh no, I strangled my wife pretty much and wondered how she died and now I am mad.' Too bad Mail didn't run Anakin over when he had the chance.

"Take the helmet off."

"No."

"Take it off." His feet travelling closer to you as his voice got sterner and slower. Wishing Din was here to tell this man about boundaries.

"Get lost, why are you even here? Chasing someone that didn't do anything wrong. You're a dick for king , go home and fix your ugly planet , sperm bank." You bad went to push passed him, his frame was sturdy, and before you could he had your wrists  in his hands.  Not fighting him, even though you could easily break free his hold was gentle. Looking up to the t of his visor.

"Do you not recognise me?"  You wanted to say yeah you kidnapped me. But it was clear from the soft tone in his voice that wasn't it. You had be oblivious, how could you over look everything.  The voice, the Mandalorians, a king , was this a joke from Ahsoka?  Maybe she was more like than Anakin than you had been lead to think.  His hands dropped from your wrists,  your hands rested on the sides of his helmet. A soft click of his helmet, pulling it up slowly.

But as you had began to lift it up, he had grabbed it from you quickly throwing it behind him with a thud.His cinnamon caramel sand, shiny coconut , beach waved, auburn oven baked curls softly placed upon his head. Stubble littering his jaw like grass, his Willy wonka chocolate fountain eyes glazing on you softly. T-this was the king of Mandalore, b-but no this couldn't be , no he wouldn't take his helmet off in front you? Would he?

Your hands now resting on the sides of your helmet, click , pulling up the helmet just as you had done previously without interruption. A sigh from his mouth as caught a glimpse of your face. Before your helmet dropped the floor , he had pulled you into a tight embrace.

"Don't tell me this whole time , I've been like these Mandalorians suck, I wish Din was here."

Pulling from Din to look at him,  through you shouldn't have , your palm was pressed against his stubbles cheek.

“Oh,”

“Yeah, I had lightsaber as dick how did you not notice? Plus that pick up line, seriously?” Your hand was no longer one Din’s face, partly because it had became sweaty too quick and your arm was aching.

“Hm, if I knew it was you then I would’ve accepted.” Accepted what? The pick up line.. your face was hot, why couldn’t he say he heard Han Solo was a player and didn’t want his heart broken? Instead his hands were interwoven with yours. I feel like this a David Bowie as Jareth moment.

“P-pardon?” Your hands were dropped, Din had turned to pick up his helmet.

“You’re with him.”

“I’m with you?”

“No you are involved with Fett.”

“Sorry? I worked for him as bounty Hunter not a personal hustler.” But Din continued to put his helmet on unamused, walking out the door, but you had decided the best idea . Doesn’t matter if your weight , Din was strong. If he had to he’d be able to carry a ship. Okay maybe.

So, you had jumped on his back, your arms around his neck, legs around his Weiss, he did not budge, not at all.”Tell me what you meant or I-ill be... very annoying and pretend I am this really cool person that gets men and women but I am not but I will pretend I’ll trick them into thinking my lightsaber is big shlong -gosh why did you not stop me. And you should because I am a huge virgin.” Huge nerd more like.

“...I’d accept your offer of you being mine.” Maybe, Din felt better because he didn’t have to directly look at you, you were on his back what were you going to do, jump off and fall over? No, once again you pulled his helmet from his head, pressing a kiss to his stubbled cheek.

“We could be lovers.”

“I , I will be king

and you, you will be queen.”

What you didn’t see was Ahsoka with her com link talking to Luke , basically had a spy camera. 100% accidentally, but Luke knew you’d be safe.

[trans-advice]

I have a very masculine broad, muscular build. I’m also a bit overweight now, but I'm aware that certain exercises I can do as a “man” and will only make this issue worse. I want to have a thin, femm frame to help start my transition. How do I go about doing this? Also, I cannot afford hormones and probably will never be able to afford op. Even worse, I'm married to a woman, who I don't think would be supportive of me as trans since I have been closeted for years now. Even she doesn't know.

so firstly, IDK what your locale is. this means i cannot provide you with information marriage laws, nor try to find any resources for subsidizing medication & or surgery & or anything else related to exercise etc.

secondly, I don't know whether you have access to a health professional. health professionals include any combination of doctors, therapists, personal trainers who are knowledgable with transfeminine folks.

i say you need access to that because eating disorders kill 1 in 10 of those who get them. this means eating disorders are the deadliest mental illness. therefore you need to talk to a professional & have regular monitoring to help keep anything with weight loss under control. to clarify, you need to avoid transphobic ones, you need affirmative healthcare treatment, and you need your privacy respected to avoid being outted against your will.

so now for exercises, you want to reduce your bulk basically. while again you need to Talk! To! A! Professional!, if I remember correctly you likely need to do exercises that stretch your body. so yoga, pilates, stuff of that genre. you might get taller, but that might work out

Use incognito/private mode on the links you look up, especially the youtube ones if you're already logged in, etc. a lot of these links are pre-pandemic & they are even old with some broken links, but here we go with some general resources. - http://point5cc.com/transgender-at-the-gym-tips-and-experiences-for-the-gym-and-locker-room/ - https://www.wussymag.com/all/2017/1/17/body-feminization-workouts-for-trans-women-and-femmes* https://www.youtube.com/user/transandfit

also get exercise equipment you can do at home or not at a gym. not only are we in a pandemic era, our bodies can be manipulated in uncomfortable ways during exercise that might embarrass you in public. (for example, i had chaffing when i was in physical therapy over certain exercises, and it embarrassed me & made me feel insecure.)

TLDR: Build a support system of people who are knowledgable in transgender people’s bodies. It’s too risky to transition solo.

good luck, peace & love,

eve

[fotfotssmile]

My Little Mochi 💉

Chapter 2: Jiminie

There was nothing but silence. No matter what I said, no matter what I did, there was just no response from the broken, but beautiful boy. It was like he was frozen, stuck on pause if you like. He wouldn't move from the same spot, he was just stood in the middle of the main room staring at the wall with those deep and sorrowful eyes. I wish I knew what he was thinking at the time, so then maybe I could have helped, but it was clear to me that he wasn't going to let anyone or anything know. I mean I didn't even know his name, and I was itching to know.

I poured a glass of icy cold water and made my way back to the boy who was starting to shake a little. I tilted my head a little before holding the glass in front of the boy. "Here...I'm not quite sure if you're thirsty, but it might help calm you down a little." I started with a small smile. "It's fresh I promise" I urged him into taking it, but he wasn't moving for anything. "Come on boy...there must be something I can do to help" I sighed putting the glass of water on the coffee table.

"J-j...Jimin..." A small voice spoke out and my ears twitched a little as the voice was so sweet and soft.

"W-what did you say?" I turned too face the boy, I was so surprised and lost in the boys voice I didn't even hear him properly.

"J...Jimin...not boy" His voice replied a little unsteady and I couldn't help but smile widely showing my bunny teeth which I hated with a passion, but I just couldn't contain it.

"Jimin..." I repeated to myself. Jimin definitely fit the boys character. Adorable, quiet and fluffy. "Jiminie!" I basically yelled a little excited at the nickname that just popped into my head.

"J-Jiminie..." Jimin's gaze reached up to mine and I was so shocked that he was actually interacting with me.

"Mhm...Do you like it?" I asked just to make sure it was ok to call him it, and he just answered back with a little nod and I noticed the corner of his lips curve up slightly. I felt somewhat proud that I managed to make him smile, even if it was just a little. "Jiminie it is then!" I clicked my fingers and Jimin clapped his hands together before shuffling a little closer to me. "Are you hungry Jiminie?" I continued a little worried that he hadn't eaten at all. Jimin replied with a shake of his head. "You're not much of a talker are you?" I questioned looking down at him and he shook his head again before looking down like he had done something wrong. I placed a hand on his bare shoulder which made Jimin flinch a little, so I pulled it away quickly noticing how much it affected him..."It's ok...I won't hurt you...I don't know what happened before, but I'm here to look after you, that's what I intend to do" I reassured, before I could say anything else Jimin reached out his small, cute and slightly chubby hands and took the glass of water I had placed on the coffee table mere minutes ago and he quickly downed it desperately. "Wow...you were thirsty" I chuckled a little and when he looked up I could see the embarrassment in his face, as his cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. "Don't worry, you can drink as much as you want. I have plenty more where that came from" I continued to chuckle as I sat down on the couch making room for Jimin to sit next to me. I patted the space and gestured for Jimin to join me. "Come sit with me. We can watch whatever you want" I smiled softly. The hesitation in his eyes was clear as day, yet he still slowly shuffled his way over to the seat next to me. As he sat down he shimmied as far away from me as he possibly could. I guess he didn't fully trust me, which was understandable, he'd only known me for less then an hour..."Anything you'd like to watch?" I asked turning to Jimin who was bouncing his knees up and down uncontrollably. I started to flick through the channels waiting for a response from Jimin, but he didn't seem to have a reaction to any channel. "Nothing peaks an interest huh? Well don't blame you...nothing ever good on TV these days" I stated and then I noticed Jimin staring at a certain DVD on the coffee table. It was 'Avengers'. "You like Avengers?" I questioned picking up the DVD case. Jimin chewed on his bottom lip before nodding nervously. "Who's your favourite?" I continued and Jimin suddenly lit up before desperately pointing at the picture of The Hulk on the front cover. "Ahhh you like The Hulk...I like Iron Man" I admitted showing off my Iron Man socks which won a giggle from Jimin and in that moment my heart skipped a beat. His giggle was so gentle and smooth...I wanted to hear it again..."I'll put it on for you then" I nodded before placing it in the DVD player ready to press play. I then caught a glimpse of Jimin's milky white skin. It looked just like porcelain, so delicate. It was extremely distracting. "Umm Jiminie, would you like to borrow a top?" I asked shuffling in my seat a little, this made Jimin pull up the sleeve of his shirt and jumper to cover his revealed shoulder, then he shook his head to say no. "Are you sure? I don't mind, and you're shoulder won't get cold" I explained. It took Jimin a few long seconds to think, then he looked up to me with a small gulp before nodding and mouthing a small 'please'

I made my way into my room before opening the drawer full of my plain white t's, the only problem was they were all oversized. I tried to find the smallest size I had, purely because Jimin seemed to have a small figure. The only small size I had was a large, yet it still looked like it would drown him. I shrugged and took it back to Jimin anyway. "Here you go Jiminie, you can wear this. It might be a little big, but it shouldn't be as bad as the ones you're wearing now" I handed it to Jimin who took it with his smol hands. He looked around a little anxiously and I was confused to say the least. "Something wrong Jiminie?" I asked and he just looked down at the top then back to me. It took me awhile to catch on, but I realised what he meant in the end. "Aish, sorry Jiminie...I'll turn around" I apologised before turning around to give him some privacy. The urge to turn around just to catch a glimpse of his doll like skin was unreal...lucky for me there was a mirror that showed me Jimin changing into the top. I felt a little guilty and perverted, but holy mother of all things perfect it was worth it. What I saw wasn't what I was expecting at all. His chest was muscular and you could see his collarbones clearly sticking out. My eyes travelled down a little further and my jaw dropped. My eyes were stuck on his perfectly toned abs...They weren't too hard either, they were subtle and that's what made them even more irresistible. I was surprised to say the least. This cute and shy boy had a body like a god...I could see the V line starting at his torso, but at that point I knew my limits and I looked away, even though I would have loved to have seen the whole thing...

I heard the shuffling of Jimin's body then a sudden light tap on my shoulder. I turned around and Jimin was wearing my oversized top and only my oversized top. He had taken his jeans off too, showing off his thighs and I could feel my cheeks burning up. I covered my mouth in order to stop any unwanted noises escaping. He looked beyond cute...beyond perfect...he was an angel.

"t-thank you..." Jimin choked a little and my eyes glistened as I watched him get comfy on the couch. I had to pry myself away from staring too long. The last thing I wanted was to make him feel uncomfortable. "Y-you ready?" I asked with a small stutter and Jimin replied with his usual small nod. I pressed play and the movie started. I did well to focus at first, but my attention slowly began to divert to Jimin. I was intrigued to see his reaction to the film and honestly I was so glad to see how happy he looked. He was so invested in the film, he rarely blinked. I loved watching how he would get excited every time The Hulk came on the screen and how he would lean forward in his seat just to get a closer look at all the action scenes.

As the film went on I noticed how Jimin's eyes started to slowly close, then he let out a little yawn. I watched as he slowly laid his head down on the side allowing himself to fall into a deep slumber. I waited until the film was finished, even though I wasn't paying much attention to it, I just wanted to make sure Jimin was lost in sleep. I stood up once the film was over and turned off the TV before admiring the heavenly breaths Jimin was giving out as he curled up to the edge of the couch. I finally decided to pick him up in my arms gently. As I did I heard a soft mumble, and I lulled a little melody in hope to send him into his deep slumber and to my luck it did. He turned in my arms and snuggled his head into my shirt. I felt a little flushed and as much as I would have loved to have slept with Jimin like this, I knew it wasn't fair on him, so I took little steps towards one of the many spare rooms in the house. I put him the closest room to mine, just incase something we're to happen.

I carefully lowered him down onto the bed before tucking him in and checking he was fully covered. Once I was satisfied I looked down at the sleeping Jimin who had curled up into foetus position. I pulled myself away from him and turned out the light before closing the door.

It had been a long night...when I checked the time it was 5 in the morning. I stretched out my arms with a loud yawn before heading to the comfort of my own bed. I was still mesmerised by the holy site of Jimin...He was so perfect beyond belief. It was hard to believe someone like him even existed, and for such a boy like him to go through a traumatic experience...I couldn't even begin to think what it was...

2/💉