Tumgik
#like i had it yesterday but it wasnt bad yesterday
lesbianwithchainsaws · 5 months
Text
Maybe a weird request, but can someone please assure me that no one is in my head/can know all my thoughts? I'm fully aware that it's not possible for someone to be in my head, but unfortunately being aware of it isn't always enough to make the feeling go away. I've never actually asked anyone else to assure me of this and always just deal with that feeling myself, but I wanna see if that might help bc i keep feeling that today
20 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
The last piece i did for Pride month!
Trans Locke!
(He stole the family jewels. They are his now.)
26 notes · View notes
sun-cube · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
it's literally 6am dude i could NOT fall asleep after reading @uhohbestie's newest chapter (16) of TAMN are you kidding??
26 notes · View notes
shittywriterbrain · 4 months
Text
ok the more i think about it the more i'm going insane over calvin's cello skills
the parts by themselves were Impressive. like highly energetic thumb position vibration if i saw that correctly. multiple times. on pitch
and singing simultaneously?? like i've tried playing the cello and singing once (1) and i'm definitely not as good as calvin but i feel like the coordination is much harder than with a guitar
ALSO he was carrying that thing for like one and a half HOURS. idk how much an e-cello weighs but it didn't look very light
my god an addition: not just carrying the cello but also. dancing and spinning and lying down. while playing. How
24 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
Text
...
#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
32 notes · View notes
svampira · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
if you've seen me post this already no you did naut anyways human elias
50 notes · View notes
Text
how do i make myself unattractive to all men forever
22 notes · View notes
guinevereslancelot · 1 month
Text
why do i feel weirdly guilty for taking a day off of work to have necessary surgery 🤡
#they said i could go back to work but i did that last time and it was a pain so i took the day off#and i did a bunch of errands and Accomplished Things instead of napping which is what i wanted to do#then finally sat down to watch a movie and eat and im like....feeling guilty for not being at work#insane#to be fair the hour before i left yesterday was crazyyyy bc we had a kind of crisis#ibstayed a half hour late bc there wasnt enough coverage due to the crisis and i did my coworker's clean up for her bc she literally left#without finishing it#bc she was freaking out#crisis is one of the kids had lice lol#anyway she left without finishing her cleanup even tho the owner of the school and our boss's boss dropped by#to let us know the health department was coming thennext day (today)#and she Went Home even tho there was literally cottage cheese all over the floor wtf#anyway i was watching the kids while my supervisor bagged up all the stuffed toys and sheets and blankets etc to wash#then i did my other co teachers cleanup while my supervisor tried to do afternoon diapers but she was so late starting only 4 kids were lef#out of like 8 or 10 that probably should have been changed#so half of them went home without a final diaper change lmao#anyway#bugs 😬#i got a lice treatment shampoo and leave in conditioner but yuck#anyway i just felt really bad bc im out and they always need people but also im out on the day we're getting a ladt minute health inspectio#and i know that classroom is gross bc the cleaning crew thats supposed to come in every night has definitely not been doing that#this has been a shitpost#anyway my eye surgery hurts so bad wah 😭#its not even supposed to hurt that much but im like wicked sensitive to the light or something that it hurts a lot even w eye shields#and nobody is babying meeee#my mom made me clean the kitchen and the barn when we got home :(#my brother is making gf cookies for me tho but not bc of the surgery he just wants to try baking gf for me in general bc he's nice#also he's making 61 cookies by accident instead of 18 bc he doubled the recipe and then realized it was a recipe forngiant cookies lmao
3 notes · View notes
semiotomatics · 10 months
Text
lol, new fear unlocked: disappointing my therapist when i have bad days -_-
8 notes · View notes
trees-to-meet-you · 2 months
Text
now that I have access to my ps4 again I've been playing so much Horizon: Zero Dawn. It's so good. I love it so much.
5 notes · View notes
danielnelsen · 3 months
Text
im rereading asunder and keep having to remind myself that all these characters have french accents fml
#well. most not all. but yknow#personal#da#im only skimming tbf im working on something that has me going through Everything#hopefully i can get through it all in one go. hopefully before the stream in less than 5 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im not that excited for it actually. im keen for the dav announcement and that's it. it had better be near the start#anyway. i rewatched redemption yesterday and idk why i had in my mind that it sucked#like it's not *good* but it wasnt as bad as id made it out to be since first watching it. it's just kinda *ok*#but it was a relief after spending the last week reading through talktables. god almighty im glad im done with that#i think when i get up to dai im gonna go through it in frosty#it's gonna take probably 2-3x as long as if i read the talktable. maybe even longer. but i wont lose my mind quite so much#weirdly the dao and dai talktables are about the same length (all dlc included for both) which always really surprises me#but i didnt read the full dao talktable. only for the dlc (and awakening was a CHORE). i read everything in the toolset#and i was able to do most of da2 using those spreadsheets i made of plots and conversations a few months ago. i knew those'd come in handy#the only time ive ever been glad da2 doesnt have item descriptions#ANYWAY. back to asunder. the start is interesting but rhys goes through like. anti-character development and i hate him by the end#obv that's still character development. i just really prefer when a character becomes better or at least doesnt become frustrating to read
2 notes · View notes
toastsnaffler · 5 months
Text
dunno if this is just placebo effect but I do feel like it's already helping a bit. usually at work I'm fighting for my life trying to write emails or ask ppl for things bc I find it so hard to put my words in order in a way that makes sense to other people but it's been 100% fine.. and I've managed to just Do every task I need so far without rly needing to think..... I feel so calm wtf
4 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
Text
...
#sometimes u have a day thats just so. i cant even. its seems 2023 is my year of rage#directionless rage. i guess im mad at me but instead of being directed inward it just goes out into empty space#im just fucking. im at my saturation point#its a good thing i stopped taking measurements yesterday and went to the store tomorrow bc im so fucking#mostly bc i noticed a problem with the code for a paper that is fucking less than a day away from being locked in on acceptance#and now its like fucking i have to go through and change a lot and im also less than 48hrs away from another massive project starting#that will occupy my whole fucking waking nightmare of a life. so its a good thing im level headed. its a good thing i can accept my fuck#ups with honestly. bc im so fucking. ive had it. im up to fucking here with everything and i just want it to be done#im fucking full of bitterness and black bile and i want to break things. and whose fault is it? fucking mine#bc im too fucking exhausted constantly all the time to fucking pay attention to what im doing and notic that a fucking function isnt#working properly. fuck u fuck u fuck u. so what r we gonna do abt it?#idk well see what my boss says. i already texted her that news and its good bc at least i caught it but god its so fucking irritating#god. will i b told off for this? maybe. i probably deserve it. haha if so that will send me for an absolute tailspin. i cannot stand to#feel ive done something wrong. even when i kno i have. last time i had a total freakout meltdown and made v bad choices and that wasnt even#this bad. so its a good thing im currently fairly stable bc the desire to make bad choices is very strong#im just so sick and tired of everything and i want to let things implode bc im vindictive against myself. but we must not do that we must#be reasonable. so idk we may have to withdraw the paper. whatever i dont give a fuck. itll get accepted elsewhere. i dont fucking care#leave me alone to dissolve into the dirt and set my data ablaze to be helpful to no one. erase my Prospective impack. i don't fucking care#anyway today sucked. i might have to stay up all night trying to fix this. ensuring that i fuck up the start of the looming project yayyyyy#i hate it here. i stopped having fun over a year ago#itll b fine. im just fucking. im full im impotent rage#unrelated
7 notes · View notes
orcelito · 11 months
Text
Wow I have not.been making text posts. Uhmmmm OK 3 personal anecdotes from the past 2 days aka the interesting things that have happened to me:
1. So yesterday I woke up at like 2 am from what I Thought was a dream with my heart fucking RACING. Bc in What I Thought Was My Dream there was a very, VERY loud noise and it scared the shit out of me. Nothing else happened, I calmed down, went back to sleep. But in the morning, I went to the bathroom and found. . what do you know.. the big cat carrier on the floor. Which means one of my cats (*cough* tally *cough*) knocked it down from storage, which would've made a HUGE noise, so I connected the dots. Then she pooped on the floor about it and got it on herself. Stinky girl.
2. Cut my finger on a scale 😔 and it's uh actually kind of deep? Doesn't rly hurt much but that's also not a great thing for deep cuts. Oh well.
3. In the night it was raining and I got up and heard water and had a moment of ".....that IS rain, right?" What a life I live where I hear falling water and am unsure of whether it is rain or if my ceiling is actively leaking for what would be the Fourth Time...
Yeah.
3 notes · View notes
zevrans-remade · 2 years
Text
.
#i had such a bad night i woke up somewhere around 10 times throughout the night#and if i wake up even once a night i wake up feeling crushed and very fatigued#my head hurts i think this restlessness came from the unsuccessfull job interview yesterday#they made me feel like i am 99% being employed after the 1st interview wasted 2 weeks of my time#and their boss talked to me like 5 mins very rudely question that could've been asked first time when i was called and not waste the time#and she told me go get magister's degree if i ever want to proceed where i want to like..#that was said cery rudely and inappropriately like wtf do you care on my not even know when it will happen future hypothetical#plans when i came to get the job you're offering?? i am so sick of getting asked inappropriate questions like whom i am living with#when i plan to get married why am i not married do i want kids and etc#and then spewing nationalist stereotypes about the ppl of my ethnicity as a cherry on top#as if my ppl historically havent been through enough because this exact country getting gen*cided#or how do you spell that#forcefully being made part of the country because of the resources but still being seen by so many as outsiders in our own countty#*country#ok i got kind of carried away into history but this helplessness of mine angers me to no end...#and i just know if i wasnt the ethnicity i am i would've secured a job already but i keep stumbling upon these type of bigot employers#ok i guess now i see why i had such a bad night sleep..#tbd
7 notes · View notes
skrunksthatwunk · 1 year
Text
man i don't even wanna get into it that much but i gotta say this week has been TOO MUCH. AGH. but we're cool(er) now it's just been Non Stop Choice Making And Task Doing
#like ive been coping well all things considered#nothing bad just a FUCKING LOT. yknow#first week of classes + not living on campus + not able to drive -> figuring out bus routes + campus#at the same time#then a couple days in they take me off the dorm waitlist and i now have like 2 days to buy and move ALL my dorm shit#yesterday i left a bunch of essential shit in the dorm bc i thought i'd be coming back that night#and i have so much homework somehow#plus we've been having foster-turtle related issues#and i got broken up with but that was actually pretty good tbh needed to happen was very mutual etc#i wasnt able to work on hw bc my laptop died and the charger was at the dorm... and my contacts... and my phone charger... etc#and my guitar but thats more an emotional/stim thing. i missed her :(#whartever. i am unpacked and chilling by myself in my room#kinda nervous to meet my roommate. i wasnt yesterday when i thought i was gonna but now um. i am#it's probably fine it's just new#plus i didnt wanna roommate bc i need a sensory deprivation chamber and all but whatevs. i think I'll be okay? yeah 👍#and there was a thing inthe middle of the week where one of my classes was empty when i got there???#i had to go on a wild goose chase to get there at all but thats a whole other story#and and and and and. just a lotta stuff all the time yknow#but i am here. hooray#and my classes and professors have all been good so far!! im participating a lot more than i did in high school#like. a LOT. like the most in every class im in#which is crazy bc im shyyyy nooooo im so shyyyyy stoppppp etc#but like. i have Thoughts and Relevant Knowledge#and all of them have been easy to pay attention to/understand except my old lady lit teacher#but shes cool and also that class didnt go as planned anyway + i was BEAT so it might not be her fault#we'll see ig#nervous about my online bio + lab classes though. scaryyyy wahhhhh#also i had to figure out payments for a whole bunch a shit. and textbook weirdness. and parking permits. and and and#WHAT. EVER. we're fine it's ok#i can lie down now and just. be
2 notes · View notes