#like i kept going and didnt notice and now guess what!!!!!!

[icaruspartharmony]

Nobody tells you actually how funny it is to run into someone when they're waking up. Because my sleep schedule is more of a sleep plan, there's no set times but it's probably gonna happen. My brother was getting up for work and saw me and was like "??why are you awake?? Why aren't you asleep?"

[i-cant-sing]

Time Traveller AU part 10

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Part 11 is here!

You dont know why you're crying.

No.

You do know why you're crying. You dont understand why you're crying for that reason.

You've been sitting out on the balcony after Mehmed confessed to you, crying like a child who'd been yelled at by their favourite teacher- quietly and shamefully.

"Y/n?" You quickly wipe your tears away as you hear him.

Ibrahim tilts his head as he walks in front of you, his concern growing as he sees your teary eyes on your veiled face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

You sniffle, shaking your head.

"Then?" He notices your mismatched niqaab, the red color reminding him of the torn shirt of Mehmed he saw earlier. "Did something happen with Mehmed?"

You freeze, then nod.

He takes a deep breath before sitting beside you, keeping a respectable distance between you two.

"I know you might be thinking that he's a prince so he wont get in trouble for what he did, but I'm the grand vizir and the sultan's closest friend." He looks at you. "I can help you if you tell me what he did to make you cry."

"I... I am not crying because of Mehmed." You pause. "Mehmed confessed his love for me."

"And you're overwhelmed? Or do you not want his love?" Ibrahim asked cautiously.

"Of course I dont want his love, its just- it reminded me of someone." You close your eyes and immediately those blue orbs flash to your mind. "Someone from... the past."

"Did you love him?" Your eyes snapped open.

"What?"

"This person you talk of... did you love him?" Ibrahim asked.

"I..." Did you? Did you really love him? Even after what he did to you, did you still love him?

"I used to." You sniffled. "You dont love him anymore? Then why are you crying?"

Yeah. Why am I crying if I dont love him anymore?

"I guess... I just miss him. And the memories we made, the way he made me feel." You whisper.

Ibrahim looked ahead at the dark sky, clear and filled with stars. "Go to him then."

You shake your head, frowning. "I cant." You wipe the tears from your eyes. "Pasha, how do I... how do I stop Mehmed? I cant, I cant be with him. In any capacity."

"I'm working on finding a way out for you, Y/n. I promised I'd keep you safe, didnt I?" Ibrahim's determined face put you at ease somewhat.

"Just tell me."

"In due time." He looked back at the sky. "The weather is nice tonight, not humid like yesterday."

You follow his gaze to the sky. "It rained earlier." You take a deep breath, trying to inhale the sweet earthy smell of rain.

There's a word for it. Petrichor.

You looked at the man beside you when you felt movement. Ibrahim had removed his turban and loosened the collar of his kaftan. He ran a hand through his thick hair with his eyes closed as a breeze of air passed, and you saw his shoulders relax.

The wind blew your niqaab as well, lifting it just long enough for you to smell the cool air.

"You should feel air as well." He said with his eyes closed. "It'll relax your mind."

He was referring to your veil and hijab. "You have the privilege to do that. Dont show off." You smiled.

He opened his eyes and stared at you. "I'm all relaxed now. You can enjoy the privilege now." He wore his turban back and fixed his collar. "Go ahead. I'll keep a look out." He stood up before smiling down at you with... warmth. Kindness.

"Enjoy these moments when you can, Y/n. They're rare."

You watched Ibrahim walk away and true to his word, he turned away from you and kept guard while you cautiously removed your niqaab first, and then loosened your headscarf.

You closed your eyes as the cool air hit you gently. You couldnt help the sigh that escaped you when you felt it on your neck, cooling it. And how long had it been since you felt the air breeze in your hair?

Too long.

After a few more moments in silence, you finally stood up after wearing your hijab and veil and turned to him.

Ibrahim turned around when he felt your presence behind him.

"Feeling better?" You nod. "Significantly. Thank you, pasha."

He gave you a courteous smile with a slight bow of his head.

Ibrahim escorted you back to your room and bid you good night before returning to the balcony.

He sat down on the same bench as the cold wind breezed, and he closed his eyes, your face haunting his mind.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the dark clouds in the sky. A few moments later, it began raining again.

Ibrahim raised his hands to make a prayer, after all- it is said in hadith that supplication made during rain is not rejected.

With sincere intention, he made a silent prayer in his heart.

"Oh Allah, make space in Y/n's heart for me.

I would like to reside eternally in my home country.

Amen."

-

The next two weeks went by... not uneventful. You tried your best to avoid the royals, but with Mihirmah bringing in Mehmed everytime you came to teach her, and Mustafa bringing you more broaches (which Mihirmah took from you everytime) because he thought they suited you (you're pretty sure this is his way of staking his claim on you, there's no way he doesnt know Mihirmah is the one taking them when she openly flaunts them in his face.)

Baris has been as annoying as ever, pestering you for gossip and to tell him "which prince you like more so that he can win the bets".

"So what exactly did you say when sehzade Mehmed said "I love you?" Baris asked as he looked through your closet.

You were looking out the window. "Thank you."

"Thank you? You said "thank you?" God, how dumb are you?" He shook his head while you smiled, looking outside but your mind was somewhere else, somewhere behind in time.

"I love you." He repeated, eyes still twinkling at how you continued to become flustered.

You opened your mouth and then closed it like an idiot, not knowing how to reply.

"Thank you." You finally said, looking anywhere but at him. He burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh god- I tell you- I love you and you say "thank you"? You really are something out of this world!" Baldwin teased you, making you huff.

"Y/n!" Your head whipped around the annoyed eunuch. "What?"

"We have to go to the harem." "Harem? Whatever for?"

"To make you learn a sensual dance for the princes- what do you think?! Its Friday! The sultan and sehzade have gone to the mosque for the Friday prayer- they'll be coming back soon and we have to welcome them." You scowled but followed him outside before halting.

"Both of the sehzade are gone?" Baris nodded.

Oh good. "Baris, you go ahead. I'll join you later." You turned around to leave but he grabbed your forearm.

"Absolutely not! Where are you going? What are you upto?" He gave you a pointed look.

You tried to pull your arm away. "Baris please-"

"No." He tightened his grip. "You might as well tell me because I'm not letting you go alone."

Your shoulders slumped.

"I have to find something." He raised a brow. "Do you remember that room where you found me and sehzade Mustafa? The one where his loot from his last conquest was present?" He nodded.

"Well, I need to go there again." "Why, exactly?" You resisted the urge to inhale as you told him your excuse.

"Because... I have to look for a present for Mustafa."

"What?" His grip on your arm loosened.

You shrugged. "You were right. I like Mustafa and if I plan on marrying him one day, I need to find something to impress him. So if I were to look at his loot, perhaps I'd be able to find what he likes."

Baris studied your face for a few moments before grinning. "I knew you were a just keeping this pious woman charade for personal gain." You frowned at his statement. "Fine. But I'm coming along."

"No, you dont need-"

"I wasnt asking." He began walking ahead of you. "Besides, the loot was moved from that room."

You followed behind him. "Moved where?"

The corner of his lips quirked up. "To sehzade Mustafa's room." He turned to look at your drained expression, and waved you off. "Its fine. I'm with you, arent I? The guards will let us pass through and everyone in the family is busy getting ready to welcome the sultan. No one will catch us."

True to his word, none of the guards or servants stopped you two from entering the Mustafa's wing of the palace. They all seemed to either respect Baris a lot to let you two breeze past them, or they feared him. And knowing Baris and his knowing eyes that probably have dirt on everyone, you knew the latter was true.

"Baris." You stopped him from following you inside Mustafa's room. "You stand here and keep watch. I'll go check."

"Keep watch? What are you- trying to steal his undergarments-" You slapped a hand on his mouth. "Do you ever shut up?" You snapped at his amused eyes. "Stand here and keep watch." You ordered before entering the room.

It was true that you did indeed need Baris to keep a look out for anyone walking in on you, as it has happened way too many times now, but you also needed him out of sight when you got rid of the stupid portrait.

Ah yes, your portrait that Baldwin had so lovingly commissioned and had managed to survive over 400 years and you needed to get rid of before it became a part of history permanently.

You looked around his large room, spotting a cloth covered pile in the corner. You marched to it and lifted the pile, recognising the loot. However, you didnt find your portrait in it.

Where is it?

You turned around to leave, only to freeze at the sight of the person standing there.

Mahidevran sultana.

All the other times you'd been caught, by Suleiman, by Mustafa- you always dropped your head into a courtesy. But now, with Mahidevran standing there with no expression on her face yet the daunting aura coming off her in waves- it had you frozen in spot.

You opened your mouth. Then closed it.

What do you say when you're caught red handed in a prince's chambers?

Mahidevran took a deep breath.

"Have you stolen it?"

You blinked.

"S-sultana?" Stolen what?

She raised an eyebrow, clasping her hands as she continued to put you under her sharp gaze.

"Have you stolen what you came for? What exactly were you looking for? Mustafa's gold? His jewels?" She tilted her head. "Dont try to deny that you didnt come here for nothing-"

"I did." Your throat went dry as her eyes narrowed. "I did come here for something. But I'm not stealing anything. I... am trying to earn it."

"And what exactly would be that?"

"Sehzade Mustafa's respect." God, where do I come up with such bull-

It was Mahidevran's turn to blink. Earn Mustafa's respect?

"I... dont know if I love the sehzade, but I do admire him. A lot. He has been very kind to me, very civil to me and... he's gifted me a lot. Not just with his expensive jewels, but also with his company. I just thought- I just wanted to return the favour. And I came here to learn more about him- to find out about his likes and dislikes."

At the end of your explanation, a small smile formed on Mahidevran lips.

"Then you should've just come to me." She walked upto you, her eyes much gentler than the hostility they held just moments ago. "Who would know him better than his own mother?"

You could only offer her a courteous smile and nod in agreement.

"Come now. I will teach you everything there is to know about Mustafa. I know him better than I know myself." She beckoned you to follow her, her heart beaming with pride at you finally making a real effort to pursue her son. Soon everything will fall into place, Mustafa will marry you and you'll give him his heirs and Suleiman will make him the next sultan and then finally, Mustafa will kill his brothers and Hurrem's reign will end.

As you walked out of his chambers, you saw Baris smirking and you knew instantly he didnt alert you about Mahidevran's arrival on purpose. He set you up. Just like Isabella, he will betray you every chance he gets.

But... where did the portrait go?

-

"Would you like to go out today?" Mustafa had decided to take you out of the palace, after Mahidevran told him to spend more time with you. He knew taking you out would make you happy, at least you dont seem to be so tense with him. With his father's permission, who was more than happy to accompany Mustafa to his province- Manisa for a few days. After all, you did deserve a short break from teaching his little sister.

And with Mehmet gone on a conquest, it was hard for Mihirmah alone to stop either of you from leaving and spending time together.

You happily agreed, at least this would give you more freedom to explore escape routes and fix your time machine?

Once again in disguises, Mustafa gave you a small tour of his province and you had to admit, he did a fantastic job managing Manisa all by himself. You definitely saw his administrative skills, how he improved the economy and even prepared the province for any future disasters.

After handling some official matters, Mustafa was surprised to see you waiting for him at the stables.

"Would you like to go hunting?" You asked, brushing the horses's mane.

Hunting? As a woman?

"You know how to hunt?"

"No."

"Then...?"

"I may not know how to hunt, but you do. So... shall we?" You asked patting the horse.

Mustafa helped you up on the horse. "Are you sure? Its not season yet, so it'll be hard to find any animals to hunt."

"Who said anything about animals?" You chuckle before galloping away.

It took him a few moments to shake out of the shock to understand your challenge. And then he mounted his horse and sped off after you.

Mustafa had never chased after anyone, much less a woman, but he had to admit- this was fun. And more than that, he was actually surprised at how good you were at riding. Your head leaned down into a straight line with your back, your calculated decisions when to stand and when to sit, you were far ahead of him. And he understood it wasnt your first time on a horse either.

Fortunately for you, you had both practical knowledge of physics and streamlining, as well as hours- DAYS of horseback riding from your time in Jerusalem. Just about four centuries ago?

However, Mustafa was still more skilled in horse riding and after finally catching upto you, he all but brought you to a halt when he blocked your path.

You both stared at each other, heaving and trying to catch your breath before breaking out into a laughter.

Thats how the two spent most of your time, riding and hunting small animals, Mustafa being in his element when he taught you archery, holding you close yet not uncomfortably, as he helped you aim bullseye. And somehow, you would soon hit the bullseye in his heart.

"And then, Qasim took the blame for me!" Mustafa laughed as you told him about your shenanigans from your childhood. You two were having dinner and after spending so much time together, making conversation had become so much easier.

"He took care of you, didnt he?" You nodded, smiling fondly at the mention of Qasim.

"As all elder brothers do, he was the best." Noticing the sadness in your eyes, Mustafa carefully asked you.

"So, you have no family left?" You shake your head. "No, they were all killed by some bad people. I only narrowly escaped them and found refuge with my grandparents before... before the Janissaries came and took me from them. And... here I am now."

Mustafa's heart wrench slightly. He knows the importance of family.

"I could take you to see them." He offered, but his expression turned puzzled when you turned him down.

"I appreciate that but... no. I cant meet them again, it'll be too much for them. The wound is still fresh, Mustafa. And if they were to see me again only to be taken away from them, accompanied by the Janissaries- they wouldnt recover. I wont hurt them again." You whispered the last part, looking off into the distance as you remembered the old couple who helped you.

"Maybe... maybe when we return home, we can go to the market again. Maybe I'll see them there, just from a distance?" Mustafa nodded at your request. How could he say no to such an innocent ask?

"How do you like Manisa?" Mustafa changed the subject.

You nodded in approval. "I had heard about how well you've done here, but when I saw the city... I must say I am very impressed, sehzade."

"You sound surprised. Did you not think I would be a good governor?" He teased as he poured you some tea. You chuckled.

"I am not surprised. I am proud." He froze. "It definitely takes a lot to run a province properly, especially when you have a lot of pressure on you, not just from the sultan but from the very people you're responsible for. And while you have managed the finances as well as put a stop to all revolts, crushed the rebels- all amazing feats, but what really stands out for me is that you've earned the love."

"Love?" "Mmhm. Its very easy to be in a position of power and make people fear you. But its much harder to have their love. And... I'm very pleased to tell you that I have not heard one word, not a single person who had anything except praises for sehzade Mustafa."

"I am very proud of you, Mustafa." You stated, your eyes smiling from your veil.

Mustafa felt as if time had stopped.

I am very proud of you, Mustafa.

Those words, that praise... isnt that what he's yearned for all his life? Sure, Mahidevran may have said those words to him many times, but she's his mother. She always sings his praises.

I am very proud of you, Mustafa.

His father has never said it to him, but he's heard Suleiman say it to Mehmed.

With his younger brother, Mehmed, Mustafa understands that Suleiman may love him just a bit more than him. Truly, Mustafa loves Mehmed too. Its natural for him to feel affection for his younger brother.

But... doesnt he deserve to be praised by his father too? Doesnt he have the right to get a pat on his shoulder for a job well done? Or is it just "his duty as a prince" everytime he works hard? Or is it that no matter what he does, how well he does it, he'll never earn Suleiman's priority over Mehmed because his father loves Hurrem more than Mahidevran? Because of his mother? Still, she is his first wife. And still, he is Suleiman's first born. Doesnt he ever deserve to even delude himself that he has a chance at being the next sultan? At being chosen?

"Mustafa?" Your soft voice breaks him out of his trance.

"Sorry, you were saying?" He tried to smile, his mind still plagued by his previous thoughts.

You point at the box you had place in front of him. "I got you a small present, for all the times I um- lost your brooches." You coughed and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"I know Mihirmah was the one taking them from you. You dont have to lie to me, Y/n." Amusement twinkled in his eyes as he picked up your box.

You smiled sheepishly. Hey, you're glad that he isnt mad at you for that spoilt brat stealing his gifts off you.

Upon opening the box, Mustafa's grin widened as a small chuckle escaped him.

Its a small crocheted rose, a pin dangling for him to attach it to his collar.

"I know its useless next to your precious jewelled brooches and even though your mom was more than happy to give me some jewels, I wanted to give you something different. You dont have to wear it-"

"Will you place it on me?" Mustafa cut you off. You nodded as you moved closer to him and took the rose from him. "Where should I put it? Turban? Collar? Chest?"

"Wherever it'll be the most prominent." He smiled gently. You leaned closer as you carefully pinned the rose to his chest.

Mustafa held his breath as he stared at your focused eyes, and he doesnt remember the last time he was so attentive to studying someones eyes. He never realised how long your lashes were, or the crease in your eyelid, or the different shades in your eye, or the way his heart skipped a beat when you looked up at him, or the way his heart warmed when your pupils dilated and he was ready to give you the world if you asked for it.

"Perfect." He whispered as you finished placing the rose on him, but his eyes never left yours.

He finally broke out of the trance when you moved away, averting your eyes and he figured he must've been too obvious.

"Thank you." He cleared his throat before looking down at his rose. "How did you learn to... embroidery?" He changed the subject once more.

"This isnt embroidery. Its crochet." You explain to him that you learned it from your mother, which is true. Your mother, who despite having a degree in STEM, had to work as a seamstress when she moved back to your hometown to make ends meet. Only thing you left out was that your mother hated crocheting, and she only did it when she was mad, so anytime you spotted a crocheted sweater or scarf or anything, you knew your mom was having a bad day. It was ironic at how something so cute could come out of such a negative emotion, but perhaps thats what she was trying to teach you. She wanted you to channel out your negative energy into something beautiful and to be honest, crocheting did relax you because of how long it took and how repetitive it was. By the time you were done crocheting, you had processed your emotions and kept yourself in check AND now had an adorable, soft product to play with.

(Deep down you knew she was worried from how many times you had decided to use your brain to come up with elaborate pranks to get back at people. So, as mom would say- "crochet your anger away, Y/n.")

Mustafa smiled at your memories.

"I would like to give you something as well, Y/n. Ask for anything." You tried to refuse but upon his insistence, you finally sighed exaggeratively, as if this wasnt exactly what you wanted.

"Do you remember that portrait? The one in your loot when we first met?"

Mustafa nodded. "I do. But unfortunately, I had given it away to a Roman diplomat as goodwill." He watched your shoulders drop.

"Ask me for something else." He offered again but you waved him off, saying you dont want anything else at the moment.

By the time you two left Manisa, Mustafa had decided that he was going to marry you.

He likes you, he doesnt know if you love him but he does know for sure that you respect. And he respects you.

Respect. Isnt it more important than love? Not all relationships, not all marriages are out of love, Mustafa knows that. But any good marriage can only work if both parties respect each other, if they trust each other.

His father loves Mahidevran, some part of him still does love her despite marrying Hurrem. And he's sure that a small part of him loved every concubine his father slept with, but... not everyone had his respect.

No, Suleiman only loved AND respected Hurrem. He loved Mahidevran, but he didnt respect her. If he did, he wouldnt have humiliated her by marrying Hurrem, a slave, He wouldnt have humiliated her by having five kids with the same woman while neglecting his mother. He wouldnt have humiliated Mustafa by favouring Mehmed over him at every chance.

Mustafa doesnt have Suleiman's respect.

But he has yours. And his mother's. And of the people of Manisa. And that is enough for him.

Thumbing the crocheted rose, he could only hope you dont mind that he lied to you about the portrait. Its in his chambers, here in Manisa. For him to stare at, to clear his mind as he peered into those eyes above the paint smudges, that looked eerily similar to yours.

-

On returning to Constantinople (present day known as Istanbul), Mustafa had allowed you two first stop at the market as per your request of buying some souvenirs for the family, but he knew that was just an excuse for you to see your grandfather.

He watched you spot the old man in the market as you stood by the blacksmith, buying a dagger for Mihirmah despite your eyes being trained on the sad man who was busy buying vegetables. You two were still in disguises, with the guards undercover as well, when there was a commotion.

Your grandfather was being harassed by the same merchant who had given him money and Mustafa would like to think that he interfered because it was his duty as a Muslim and as a sehzade to stop evil, but deep down, he knows he only stepped in to impress you.

Mustafa and a couple of the Janissaries, all disguised as civilians, walked upto the merchant and pushed him off the old man. Before the merchant could start heckling, Mustafa threw a pouch of gold coins and told him that the debt is paid. Period.

He didnt have to say out loud the outcome if he bothered your old man again.

By the time Mustafa returned by your side, standing tall as you looked at him gratefully.

I am proud of you, Mustafa.

"Thank you." You tell him, and Mustafa's heart soars at your validation.

You respect him.

Mustafa looked to the side, the tip of his ears turning pink. "Did you get a present for Mihirmah?"

You nodded, showing him the dagger you bought (with the money Suleiman had been paying you for teaching). He approved it, and you two returned to Topkapi palace, not knowing about the shit storm that was about to come.

-

Mehmet watched from the balcony as you returned to the palace with Mustafa beside you, laughing openly as his elder brother looked at you in a way that he never wanted anyone besides him to look at you.

Mustafa would've liked to walked you to your room but after he was called by his mother, you assured him you'll make it to your room just fine.

What you werent expecting was to find Mehmed standing in the hallway, waiting for you to be alone. He wasnt supposed to return so early from his province, but after Mihirmah wrote to him about you fleeing away with Mustafa to Manisa, he wrapped up his work there and came home straight away. He thought he made it clear what his intentions were with you, but it seems like sweet talking didnt make a dent on you.

"Sehzade-" You stopped your greeting when you saw him march towards you, and you involuntarily took a step back. His body language was not friendly at the moment.

"What were you doing with Mustafa?" He seethed, his arms behind his back as if holding himself back from lashing out.

"I- I went out to get a present for Mihirmah-" You began showing him the dagger but he cut you off.

"Why?"

"Why?" You didnt understand his question. "Why what? I was away in Manisa-"

"Why?"

You frowned this time. What was he asking?

"Because sehzade Mustafa invited me-"

"Why?"

You couldnt help but glare at him annoyed. Why what?

"Because I wanted to get out of the palace-"

"Why?"

"What do you want me to say?" You finally asked. Mehmet glare intensified at your question. "You're clearly accusing me of something, so say it."

"Why did you leave the palace?"

"I told you, I went to Manisa on sehzade's invitation." You paused, trying to piece together the reason for his behaviour. Jealousy? "I couldnt have turned sehzade Mustafa's invitation, it wouldve been rude-"

"This isnt about Mustafa!" He snapped. "You shouldnt have left the palace in the first place!"

"And why not? I'm not a slave who is bound to these walls." You reminded him gently, but his patience seemed to have worn thin.

"And neither is my mother, nor Mihirmah but they still stay here, only leaving when the sultan takes them along."

You looked at him in confusion. What was he getting at?

Mehmed seemed to get even more angry at your bewilderment. "There's a reason women stay in their homes. Its not safe for them out there."

"I appreciate your concern, but I doubt anyone would want to hurt me. I am not a princess or a part of royalty. My status is far too low for anyone to even bat an eye my way-"

He laughed humourlessly. "Status? You think I'm talking about protecting you from enemies of the empire?" Mehmed neared you as you took another step back. "You're in danger from the world. You're in danger from those very men that see you everytime you walk out of these palace walls. You're a walking temptation for these men and their disgusting, vile thoughts."

You blinked at him. Is he- did he just say you tempt men?

"How can I tempt men when I'm covered from head to toe?" You point at your niqaab and your chaddar.

"YOU'RE A WOMAN! THAT ALONE IS TEMPTATION ENOUGH FOR LINGERING EYES!" He yelled as an angry vein pops up in his temple. "It doesnt matter that not an inch of your skin is visible, but the moment these men know that you're a woman, you're meat for them. You attract their attention when you leave the palace walls, you attract their eyes when they see your feminine shadow, you attract their ears when they hear your soft voice, you attract their nose when you pass by them with your sweet scent. Even if they cant see your face, your existence alone is enough to plague their minds!" He points at your niqaab. "This veil that you seem so proud of? That you think protects you from male gaze? It only makes men to want to rip it off you more!"

You're staring at him in utter disbelief. Aint no way- no way this man is accusing you of tempting men, all while insulting your niqaab.

"I dont know what men you're talking about, but you're wrong if you think I'm using my veil, my covered body to invite men to stare at me." Your tone barely suppresses your anger. "I am surprised to hear you say such things. How can you pass such comments when your own mother and sister are-"

"I can pass such comments because my mother and sister stay within the damn palace! They dont go around sauntering like you, provoking men!" He yelled, his arms no longer behind his back, hands balled up into fists.

"Do you hear yourself? You're not making any sense-"

"I AM THE NEXT SULTAN! I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU!" He spat.

"How can I provoke men when my face is covered?!" You snapped back, reaching your wits.

Hearing your voice get loud, Mehmed's fury reached new levels as he backed you upto the wall, your eyes wide as he closed the distance between you. "You think you're safe?" He whispered harshly, his eyes boring holes into you. His hand reached up and grabbed your niqaab, threatening to yank it off you. "You think this piece of cloth can protect you? What can you- what can you possibly do if I were to rip this off you? Do you think you can stop me from making your worst nightmares come to life?"

Mehmed did not relish the fear in your eyes, nor did he enjoy the tear that escaped them. But like a child who needs admonishing to keep them from harms way, he found it necessary to reprimand you.

"Dont leave the palace again, Y/n." He said, his tone softening but still stern. "I dont want anyone, man or woman to see you. I dont trust anyone around you. Understand?" He patted your cheek to make you nod, and he finally backed away and left you alone in the hall.

Well, you're never truly alone in the palace. Especially when you have enemies. And who is your enemy, Y/n?

Everyone who is envious.

-

Word of your heated moment reached Mahidevran through the servants whispers, about how close you and Mehmed were, how he had pushed you upto the wall, a raunchy scene for anyone to walk in on, how Mehmed had lifted up your veil and traced your skin.

And of course, Mahidevran is inclined to believe these spicy rumors. She's experienced first hand what power hungry women can do when they put their mind to it. And her blood boils at how you're playing both princes, as if Mehmed could ever compete with her precious Mustafa!

Mahidevran all but screams at the maids to bring you to her, her hands shaking at the thought of you cheating on Mustafa- that too just moments earlier Mustafa was telling her how much he liked you and was ready to marry you.

You. You're ruining the plan. The plan to have Mustafa become the next sultan. Because- because you've been put to it by Hurrem, havent you? Isnt that why you're trying to make her son go after you while you pursue Mehmed? You want Mustafa to lose- you want Mahidevran to lose!

When you enter her chambers, Mahidevran all but sees red at the sight of you. You'r thrown to the ground and it doesnt register at first the hard smack she delivered to your face. But as soon as you look up at her, she lunges at you and continues to slap you over and over again, hurling curses at you, calling you all sorts of derogatory names, all while you try to save your face from her assaults because even if you could fight back, you couldnt hurt a sultan's wife.

"HOW CAN YOU CHEAT ON MY MUSTAFA?! MY LION! YOU FUCKING WHORE-!" She shrieked as she continued to slap you, her nails embedding into your skin and scratching it. Your face had gone numb from her slaps, and you couldnt verbalise a response even if you tried, her hands cutting you off everytime you tried to speak, leaving you to just cry and scream.

The guards and servants heard both your cries and Mahidevrans screams, but they didnt dare interfere. How could they? The sultana could easily have their heads chopped off for interrupting her punishment.

Mahidevran's own hands had gone numb from her thrashing, but her anger overtook any sense of self preservation as she continued to beat you to a pulp. Neither of you knows how long it had been until she was pulled off you.

"Mahidevran!" You watched bleary eyed as a red head came into the view. "Have you lost your mind?!" She admonished the queen.

Hurrem turned to look at you, grimacing at your bloodied face.

"Baris." She nodded at him to help you.

Baris immediately picked you up in his arms and carried you out of there.

You watched through tired eyes at Baris's concerned face as he looked down at you.

"Shit- sorry for taking so long to save you." He whispered, watching you slip in and out of consciousness.

You dont remember how, but the next moment you opened your eyes, you were in Hurrem's chambers with Baris tending to your wounds and Hurrem sitting on the ottoman watching you with a steady gaze.

You wince as Baris placed ointment on your busted lip.

"Careful, Baris." Hurrem warned, standing up and walking upto you. "She looks worse enough as it is. We dont need her falling unconscious in front of the sultan because you treated her injuries too harshly. He'll have your head chopped off." She joked though neither you nor Baris laughed; after all her words did hold some truth.

Wait- sultan?

"S-sultan?" You croaked, and Baris quickly helped you drink some water. "Why- why is the sultan coming?"

Hurrem looked at you in confusion. "Why? So that Suleiman could see what Mahideravn did to you and finally get rid of her. After all, Suleiman did warn anyone to not harm you. So, we can finally get rid of that thorn for once and for all." She sighed dreamily before looking at you. "All you have to do is cry in front of him and tell him how cruel Mahidevran is-"

"N-no." Baris's hand that was tending to you scratched cheek halted at your interruption.

"Excuse me?" Hurrem's sharp tone sent shivers down your spine.

"No. I wont say Mahidevran did this to me." In actual history, Mahidevran despite being exiled, outlives Suleiman, Hurrem and all their children. If you were to confess to what Mahidevran did, it would run the risk of Suleiman punishing her to the dungeons or worse, either way putting her life at risk and ruining the timeline.

"But she did do this to you." Hurrem stated, frowning at your attempt at denial. Or was it defense? "Ah, is it because you love Mustafa? You dont want to put his mother in trouble?"

"No. Mahidevran may have hurt me, but sehzade Mehmed was the reason. Your son did this and if you force me to confess, then that is what I will say- Mehmed did this to me." You replied, voice unwavering despite your heart beating loudly against your chest.

"Are you threatening me?" Hurrem glared at your audacity. Baris could sense the impending doom, and he feared you were at the receiving end of it this time.

"No." You swallowed. "I am merely stating at how this will play out. I suggest you dont have the sultan come and see me, better yet- throw me out of this palace altogether."

Hurrem stared at your bruised face and then she saw the determination in your eyes. She shot a look to Baris that had him scurrying you out of the room to give you two privacy.

"Even if you dont rat out Mahidevran, I can."

"You could. And then I will tell the sultan that it didnt happen, and you'll end up looking like a jealous second wife pinning the blame on the first wife." You tell her, watching as her face turned red with fury. "You could always let me go."

"Let you go? Why should I help you leave? And dont try to use Mehmed's behaviour with you as an excuse."

"Behaviour? He ordered me that I dont leave the palace walls ever because he thinks that I seem to invite men to leer at me." You tattled on him. "It may seem hard to believe sultana, but I dont wish to marry any of the princes, nor do I wish to stay within this palace. You know that the only reason I'm still here is because I couldnt say no to the sultan. But if you were to help me escape-"

You were silenced as Mahidevran burst through the door, her eyes zeroing in on Hurrem standing next to you.

"You-! You set me up! Both of you!" She shrieked as she stomped over to you two but Baris walked in with Mustafa, Mehmed and Mihirmah, all looking at the state of your injured face. They all stared at you, but it was Mehmed's eyes that pricked you and you quickly grabbed your veil, tying it around your face to cover it.

Mihirmah rushed to your side, grabbing you by the shoulders. "Y/n! Who did this to you?!"

You didnt bother looking at Hurrem or Mahidevran when you replied.

"I dont know."

Mihirmah's brows knitted together. "You... dont know? It was a blind attack? Did you not see who was attacking you? Or did you just not recognise the attacker?"

You took a deep breath.

"I dont know."

Mehmed stepped forward, eyes narrowing at your answer. "What do you mean-"

He stopped talking when the doors opened again and in walked Suleiman and Ibrahim, the sultan's eyes scanning the room before falling on you.

You had stood up to bow to him and you kept your head down for as long as you could to not draw attention.

But Mihirmah had other plans in mind.

"Dad! Y/n was attacked again! So much worse this time!" She cried, clinging onto your shoulder.

Suleiman's concern grew as he looked you up and down, reading your body language: head down, shoulders tense, hands fumbling.

You were afraid.

"Y/n?" He gently called your name as you hesitantly looked up. Its hard enough to lie to sultan, but lying when you look him dead in the eyes is a whole another thing.

"Show me." He commanded, and you had no choice but to comply, as your slowly removed your veil.

Suleiman's eyes widened at the state of your face- bruised, bloodied and swollen. He walked closer, eyes watching you in disbelief. Who could have done this to you, that too in his palace?

"Who did this to you?"

You averted your eyes, lest they betrayed you. "I- I dont know."

"You didnt see them?" Suleiman was as confused as Mihirmah. "Did they attack you from behind? No- they scarred your face, they attacked you from the front. You should've seen them. Did you recognise them?"

You kept your head down. Shit. What are you supposed to say now?

"Y/n?" You looked up at him. Suleiman saw fear. "Dont be scared. Tell me- who did this to you?"

You swallowed thickly. "I dont know."

"Did you see their face?"

"I- yes." There was no point in lying about it when he already presented logic.

"Then? Who was it?"

"I dont know- I dont remember." You whispered.

Mustafa was trying to make sense of your statement when he glanced at his mother. Mahidevran was shifting on her feet nervously, clasping her hands tightly as she glared at you.

No. No, she couldnt have.

Suleiman's gaze hardened at your words. Who were you protecting? Or did you really not recognise who it was?

"Ibrahim." The vizir stepped forward. "Find out who did this to Y/n." Suleiman ordered as he stood up, turning around to leave when his eyes fell on Mahidevran, who was looking at him with a tight lipped smile.

"Are you alright, Mahidevran?" He asked his first wife, who nodded eagerly.

"Y-yes. Of course, my sultan! I'm just- I'm just worried for Y/n." Suleiman studied her for a few more moments before he turned his attention to Hurrem.

"You did right by informing me about this, Hurrem." He praised his second wife, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "I trust you to take care of Y/n, hm?"

Hurrem bowed her head and feigned a smile. "Of course, Suleiman." However, the sultan spotted her smile faltering and for a second, he saw her glancing at Mahidevran before averting her gaze.

Something was wrong. Suleiman's sixth sense was keeping him unsettled.

He looked at Mahidevran again, this time more closely as he studied her from top to bottom and thats when he saw it-

Her hands hiding under her sleeves.

Suleiman walked to Mahidevran and before anyone could react, he grabbed her hands and pulled.

Mahidevran's knuckles were bruised, her nails stained with your blood, her palms red.

"You did this to her?" He asked in disbelief. His Mahidevran? He knew she was a little unhinged at times, lost control of her emotions but... was she really capable of such violence?

"Suleiman I- she-"

"You're not denying." His grip tightened around her hands. "Mahidevran, have you lost your mind?!"

"Suleiman-"

"SILENCE!" He pushed her away, eyes blown wide in rage. Mahidevran trembled at the sight. "Have you completely lost it?! Why would you do this to her?! She's just a child! What is wrong with you?!"

Mahidevran fell to her knees, begging him for forgiveness. "Suleiman, I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? You're sorry?! LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER!" He pointed at your face. "Why did you do this? What could she have possibly done to you to deserve this?"

"Suleiman, I only-" She stopped. What reason could she give? She cant tell him about you cheating on Mustafa with Mehmed, nor would it do her any good to pin the blame on Hurrem now. It would only weaken her position and cause Mustafa trouble.

Mustafa. She has to do this for him, to save his throne.

She mustered up all her courage, casting her ego aside as she looked at you.

"I'm sorry, Y/n."

Your heart dropped. No. Mahidevran just admitted to her crime. Suleiman will punish her. She will die- no, no no-

"Its okay, sultana. It was an accident." Everyone was looking at you now.

"An accident?" Mihirmah asked.

You nodded. "I- I entered her chambers while she was asleep. I startled the sultana, she thought I was an intruder- that I came to attack her. The room was dark- she couldnt have recognised me- it was all an accident."

Everyone knew it was big fat lie, but then again, no one was willing to refute your claims. On what grounds? With no proof, they were all inclined to take your word, even if they didnt believe it.

Suleiman looked back at Mahidevran. "You still didnt have any right to beat her that badly. You've truly lost it, Mahidevran. If you werent Mustafa's mother, I would've-" He took a breath to calm himself down. "You cant stay here anymore. I exile you to Manisa." And with that Suleiman walked out of the room.

-

Mustafa had left your room to see off his mother. He came to you after to thank you for trying to cover for Mahidevran, despite his father still banishing her.

Then again, exile was the least painful punishment for what she did to you.

He held his mother's hands as the servants packed her belongings. He wanted to go to Manisa with her, but she refused to let him accompany her.

"You must stay here, Mustafa." She cupped his cheek. "You need to protect Y/n. All this time, I thought she was cheating on you but Hurrem set her and me up. She wanted this to happen, for me to hurt Y/n! You must stay here and protect Y/n from Hurrem and Mehmed. Do you understand?" Mahidevran's habit of blaming everyone but herself for her actions prevailed over logic as usual.

He nodded, kissing the palm of her hand. "The next time we meet, I will bring her to you as my wife."

A bright smile graced her face as she quickly took off her own ring and gave it to him.

"I will pray for you, my lion." She kissed his forehead. Mustafa smiled, pulling her in for a hug.

"Dont worry about Mehmed, hm? He wont be a hurdle." She whispered to him.

Mustafa didnt understand what she meant about Mehmed, his own mind occupied by you. He saw how angry his father was when it came to you, almost as protective as he was of Mihirmah, how quick he was to have his mother- a queen on her knees, for you. He knew his dad never respected Mahidevran, but his actions were also ruled over by his concern for you.

Mustafa now understands how dire the situation is. He now understands why his mother wanted him to marry you. You- you are the key to having the throne, the key to ruling the empire, the key to everything.

-

While Hurrem was busy "calming" Suleiman down, which in fact was really just her getting praised for being a good wife, queen and most importantly now- "a mother figure to Y/n", for how quickly she took action and saved you from Mahidevran, how she tended to your wounds and brought you to her chambers rather than "risking Mahidevran attacking you by leaving you in the infirmary", her eldest was in your room.

Baris had just helped you sit on the sofa and was tending to your wounds when Mehmed, the sehzade who had just moments ago seen Mustafa leave your room, had his blood boiling at the sight of your face uncovered as Baris applied healing balms to your wounds.

"Get out." He ordered Baris, who looked at you before leaving the room.

Mehmed sat down beside you, picking up the healing balm and was about to apply it to your skin when you turned your face away.

"I can do it myself, sehzade-"

"Mehmed." He corrected you before turning your face to him harshly. "If you can do it yourself, then why let Baris do it? Do you enjoy his touch?" His tone was accusatory and full of jealousy, and you were getting real tired of it.

"I'm sorry, I was far too disoriented to notice it was a man who was tending to my wounds." Your sarcasm made his eyes narrow at you, as he continued to apply the ointment.

"Baris is not a man, he's a eunuch." And yet he's jealous of him. "And its not about a man touching you, i dont want anyone touching my wife-to-be."

"I dont remember agreeing to a proposal-"

"Then let me refresh your memory." He cut you off. "When I said "I love you", I meant we were to be married. As for a proposal, there never was one and there never will be one because I am a sehzade, and the next sultan. You dont get to say no to me. Do I make myself clear?"

If you had the means to get out of this era, you would've slapped the egoistical, chauvinistic, toxic man in front of you.

"Yes." You replied.

Mehmed stood up, but before he left, he looked at your veil.

"If you have to remove your veil to let your injuries heal, you better make sure you're alone."

Asshole.

-

A few weeks later, you were once again standing in the harem with the rest of the royals. Today, the sultan had to leave to go on a conquest. Ibrahim was also leaving, which unnerved you because you dont want to stay in a place without the only sane person who had your back.

Sure, Baris saved you but you knew better than to trust that piece of shit because his loyalty could be easily bought. Just like how you knew Hurrem did indeed was paying him to follow you, let you get beat up, and then fetch her to be your "saviour". And you knew that the only reason Baris would help you ever again, was because he had his own agenda on being your personal servant if you were to marry one of the princes.

Suleiman and Ibrahim entered the harem, ready to receive farewell from his family.

Hurrem was the first in line, kissing his hand and then him, before Suleiman pulled her in his embrace.

"I trust you to take care of the palace in my absence." He said to her, patting her cheek affectionately.

"Of course. I pray for your victory, Suleiman. May Allah sharpen your sword and defeat the enemy." She wished him well.

Suleiman then went down the queue, hugging his sons, daughters, favourite women of the harem, and then you.

"You will be safe here, Y/n." He watched you kiss his ring before bringing his hand to your forehead. With your head bowed, he kissed your the top of your head. "When I return, I have something important I'd like to discuss with you."

Your heart dropped. Discuss something important? Like what?

"Your marriage to his son, girl!" You heard Baris's voice in the back of your head.

Ibrahim only hugged Suleiman's sons, the royal women offering him words of support and prayers. When he reached you, you gave him a quick courtesy and a small prayer, but your eyes- they screamed for help.

Ibrahim! Dont leave me!

And Ibrahim got your message, but with everyone watching, he could do nothing but nod and move on.

As soon Suleiman left with his troops, you quickly made your way to return to your chambers to hide away until they returned. After your incident with Mahidevran, you had taken some precautions from being mauled again because really- who can you trust around here?

Mihirmah would come to your room to get her lessons, which now with her father gone, you doubt she will come to get them. Fine by you really, she's still a brat who finds glee in flipping you over your back.

Mehmed was much harder to avoid, he insisted on having lunch with you (because Hurrem wanted all her kids together with her at dinner). And these lunches were quiet stiff, because Mehmed may not be threatening you or showing off his jealousy, you still havent forgotten his remarks and you didnt really talk besides giving him curt replies, which he doesnt notice because his head is so far up his-

Mustafa was the normal one among them, and while he did offer you to take you out to the market or even the gardens, you didnt. Not because you were scared of Mehmed finding out, no. It was because- well, what happened to Mahidevran. Mustafa may have come to you and thanked you for trying to cover up for her, but no matter what way you see it- his mother was thrown out of the palace because of you.

And he has to hold some grudge against you for it. No matter how much he smiles, how many gifts he gives you, you just cannot risk him taking you the gardens or the market where there are no witnesses when "someone" ambushes you.

You've used most of your time holed up in your room with your time machine because the last time you went out with Mustafa to the market, you were able to get some tools and metals from the blacksmith while Mustafa was busy saving your "grandfather".

-

Its been 2 weeks since Suleiman left. Two weeks since you've been on high alert around this mad house, two weeks since you started losing sleep from all the stress and tension of being around Mehmed and Mustafa. Sure, Ibrahim gave you a entourage of maids and guards to keep you safe before he left, but how could that put you at ease when your entourage could fall with the flick of the wrist from these royals.

You've been able to repair your time machine as much as you could, but it still hasnt worked. You dont understand what you need to do, you've even tried smashing it against the ground like the last time you transported, but no. It didnt help.

You sat on the bench on the balcony, the same one when Ibrahim was here with you. You came here to get some fresh air, and you hoped Baris doesnt run into you because you just have it in you to hear him make a comment about the bags under your eyes.

The sky was filled with dark clouds again, the wind chilly and you smiled under your veil.

It was going to rain today.

Your mind flashed back to the last time you were here with Ibrahim. Just like now, you were worried and tense then. But he was there to calm you down, to put your mind to ease.

"You should feel air as well." He said with his eyes closed. "It'll relax your mind."

You closed your eyes as his voice came to mind.

"Enjoy these moments when you can, Y/n. They're rare."

You glanced behind you, at your entourage. The guards had their back to you, looking away from you and the maids. The maids all stood behind you, giving you space. They could see your stress.

A gentle breeze hit your face, and it was enough to push you.

You quietly removed your veil, setting it beside you before loosening up your headscarf.

A sigh escaped your lips as the gentle breeze cooled your neck, your tense shoulders dropping at the earthy scent of rain. You closed your eyes, trying to imagine yourself back in your time, back when you were a child, carefree and stress-free.

Home. I want to go home.

"Y/N!" Your respite was cut short by Mehmed's angry scream, who looked at you like he'd just witnessed the greatest crime you could ever commit: sitting unveiled, with part of your hair exposed along with your neck.

"What the hell are you doing?!" You quickly grabbed your niqaab and tied it around your head as you saw storm towards you, his guards following behind him.

"Mehmed- I-"

"You what?! You were sitting here EXPOSED! With the servants to watch!" He yelled at you, grabbing your arm painfully as he yanked you from your seat. "Didnt I explicitly tell you to fucking stay covered! Do you like putting on a show for-"

"ENOUGH!" Something in you snapped. "I wont have you accuse me over and over again! I was not putting on a show, Mehmed! I was just getting some air! Do I not deserve it?! As for putting on a show- the guards had their backs turned, they werent staring at me! Only the maids were behind me, and they too werent able to see my face! Now, let go!"

Mehmed's grip on your arm only tightened, and you almost yelped in pain if you werent so busy glaring at him. "Just because you think they didnt see you face, doesnt mean its alright for you to sit naked!" He yanked you closer as he bared his teeth at you. "I told you not to to ever remove your niqaab in front of others. You disobeyed me- my command! And now you will pay the price! As will they!" He yelled at his guards to arrest you entire entourage and throw them to the dungeons.

"Mehmed, stop-" "Shut up!" He yelled as he began dragging you away and towards his own room, throwing you inside.

He stalked towards you. "Since you seem to have no sense of preservation for your modesty, I suppose I will have to help you out as your husband-to-be. You will stay here until I return and if you try to escape, I swear to God, Y/n! I will fucking break your legs!"

You watched in horror as he left the room, locking it from outside and you dont doubt he had guards outside not to let anyone in or out.

I cant stay here any longer- I cant rely on Ibrahim any longer. Mehmed has fucking lost it, and I need to get out of here right now.

You fumble out your time machine, trying to turn it on to any time period really- you cant stay here anymore.

"Fuck!" You throw it against the wall, crying into your hands out of frustration. Why the fuck wont it work? A few moments later, you finally pick it up, pocketing it back in your clothes.

Hours passes by as you sat on the floor, crying at your demise, waiting for Mehmed to return and do whatever his insane self pleases.

The room had darkened, and you suspected it was night now. You look down and find the bracelet on your hand, the one Suleiman gave you and an idea popped in your head.

Bribery.

You knocked at the door.

"Hello? Whoever is out there- please- just open the door! I'll give you my jewels! Anything you need, I'm willing to pay!" You plead for a few minutes before slamming your hands against the wood, falling to your knees as you sobbed. "Please! I'm begging you! Help me-!" You stumbled back as the doors swung open.

"Well, if this is how quickly you resort to going on your knees, I have failed as a teacher." Baris grinned at you from above.

"B-baris?" You sniffled as he helped you stand up. "What are you-"

"I'm saving your ass. Duh." He pulled you out of the room, looking out both ways before taking the path on the left. You spot two guards lying on the ground.

"How did you-" You point at the them but he drags you along.

"I'm not just a pretty face, Y/n. You seriously underestimate me." He comments, his eyes scanning for anymore people. "Now we must make haste. Otherwise, your lover boy may take a break from the dungeons to torture us instead-" He stopped talking when he looked at you.

"Torture? Baris, what did Mehmed do to them?" Your entourage was thrown into the dungeons. Baris avoided your eyes. "Baris." You insisted.

"He's having their eyes stitched up for staring at you."

You face paled. Mehmed is insane. He's fucking insane. Baris took your hand and dragged your shellshocked body.

The two of you soon made it out of the palace undetected. 4 horses and 5 women waited for you two there. You recognised them- they were from the harem.

"Baris, what are you- why are they here?" You whispered harshly. If the palace finds out there are concubines missing, it'll only cause more trouble for you and him.

"Relax, they're here to help us." He waves at them, making them giggle before he looks back at you. "We will all get on the horses and take different paths to throw the Janissaries off long enough for you to escape."

"Escape to where?"

"Wherever you want to go. I would suggest going West and leaving the empire altogether, maybe go to the Romans. Keep a low profile and try not to seduce any more unhinged men." He pokes fun at you, despite the situation you're in.

You chuckle, tears of gratefulness in your eyes. "Thank you, Baris." You sniffle, taking off your bracelet. "Here. You can have this. Its the least I can do-"

"Girl, you need it more than I do." Baris pushes the bracelet back to you. "Besides, I've already been compensated generously."

"By who?" You ask and he gives you a knowing look. "Ibrahim?" He nods.

"He had been paying me since the moment you set foot in the palace to keep you safe. You think I just stuck around you because I like you so much?" You slapped his shoulder, making him laugh. "Okay, you werent all that bad. But wherever you go, I'm sure Ibrahim pasha will find you."

"And why is that?"

"Well, he was going to marry you." "What?" Baris looked at you confused. "You dont know? Ibrahim pasha talked to Sultan Suleiman about this. The sultan gave his blessing, but he wanted to ask for your consent as well. But then they went to war-"

So thats what Suleiman wanted to discuss with you.

"Anyways, Ibrahim pasha had given me permission to do whatever is necessary to keep you safe, even if it meant taking you out of the palace- or- well staging your kidnapping. When the time comes, Ibrahim pasha will find you and I will be long gone by then." Baris explained.

"You're willing to leave the palace behind? For me? I thought you liked it here." You were touched at his willingness to help you, even if he was taking money.

Baris shrugged, looking at Topkapi palace longingly. "I've had my fun here. Its time for me to go somewhere else. Have a fresh start, where I'm no longer a slave."

You smiled, nodding understandingly. "And them? Are they willing to risk it all for me as well?"

"Oh no. They're in love with me. And when they heard I was leaving, they decided to come along. Just cant get enough of me." You shot him a look. "We might start a brothel. You should come visit with Ibrahim pasha someday."

"Why the fuck would I go to a brothel-" He broke into laughter at your reaction.

"I'm just joking! But do visit me, hm?" He took your hand and pressed a kiss to it. He helped you up on the horse before mounting his with a girl behind him, the others mounting the other horses.

"Thank you, Baris. For everything." Baris gave you a nod. You suddenly heard yells from behind you.

"Time to go!" Baris yelled.

-

You were galloping through the woods, the same forrest where you had first landed here. It was raining dogs and cats, making it hard for you to see ahead of you and even harder for the horse to run through the wet ground.

Your mind wandered back to Ibrahim. All this time, you thought he'd abandoned you and yet he was the one who had your back.

Was he really going to marry you?

You doubt he would've. Or even if he did, the question was- would you have said yes?

Maybe. He is the sane one of the ottomans, and apparently the only one who is willing to help you. You're sure he wouldnt have done anything unbecoming of a man even if you married him. And why would you not marry him? It buys you time to work on your machine and get out of this era, AND it protects you from the royals, especially Mehmed.

Mehmed. Your heart wrenched at the thought of him punishing those poor servants. Did he really have their eyes stitched up? What would he have done to you on returning? More importantly, what would he have done if he caught you escaping.

"I'll break your fucking legs!"

You shuddered at his threat, leaning down to speed through the woods.

Maybe God finally cut you a break- how else could you explain all this? Baris being the one to break you out, despite you being sure he'd betray you the first chance he gets. Ibrahim pasha having your back all this time. You escaping the palace without the Janissaries or anyone hot on your tail. Maybe your time machine will finally work too. Maybe you'll finally make it out of here. Maybe you just lucked out-

You heard the clouds above you roar loudly and in the next moment, you heard yourself scream as you were blinded by a white flash, throwing you off your horse.

You laid on the ground, pain radiating throughout your body, vision blurry, palpitations in your ear as you tried to make sense of what had happened.

A lightening strike.

You were struck by lightening.

If you werent in so much pain, rapidly losing consciousness, you wouldve laughed at your fortune.

Lucked out?

More like out of luck.

-

Mustafa had walked in on Mehmed screaming and threatening to kill every servant, his sword bloody. Looking behind his younger brother, he spotted two headless guards.

"Mehmed?" He asked cautiously.

"She escaped! She fucking ran!" Mehmed yelled before he could ask what was wrong. He raised his sword to cut off yet another head, but Mustafa stopped him.

"Tell me what happened." Mustafa's strong voice had Mehmed reeling some of his anger back, explaining what had happened.

After listening to him, Mustafa sighed. "We'll find her, Mehmed. Calm down." He looked at his Janissaries and ordered them to close off the city, and the docks. No one leaves.

"She could've already left the city-"

"Its unlikely for her to have managed to do that, that too when its pouring heavily." Mustafa, the cool headed prince, began to think logically.

"Then where is she? The city is still too big! It'd be like finding needle in a haystack." Mehmed sneered, glaring at the servants.

Mustafa closed his eyes, trying to think of where you could possibly ran off to.

He snapped his eyes open. Of course, you'd be there.

"I know where she is." He stood up, Mehmed following behind him.

-

You woke up to someone wiping your cheek. It took a few moments for your vision to clear, your eyes looking around what seemed to be a cottage before landing on the person beside you.

Old lady.

It was the old lady. The one who saved you when you dropped at her doorstep when you entered this era.

"Oh dear, you're finally awake!" She smiled gently, continuing to wipe the mud off your cheek. "You're lucky my husband was out when he spotted you unconscious. You could've drowned in that rain, you know?" She said in a chiding town, as if you chose to lie down in the pouring rain.

The old man walked out of the kitchen with a cup of hot tea in his hands.

"Here you go, hun. Drink this." He handed you the cup before sitting beside his wife.

"Now, where've you been all this time?"

By the time you were finished telling them everything that happened to you, from being kidnapped by the Janissaries to be sold as a slave, to almost dying a few times in the palace, to being set up to marry one of the two princes, to being struck with lightening, the old lady was in tears as she pulled you into her embrace while the old man continued to yell a stream of curses at the Ottomans.

When you tried to leave, they stopped you- telling you its absolutely unsafe for you to go anywhere in this bad weather. And well, hearing the heavy rain and the fact that you were indeed struck by lightening, you couldnt really argue.

"Okay, just for tonight."

While you were having dinner, you were taken back to your memories- memories of your own family. Sure, you were surrounded by family at the palace as well, but they didnt feel like home. They didnt really care for you, not like this cute old couple does. And to be honest, you missed this feeling. From your time in Jerusalem, to your time in the palace, this is the first moment of normalcy you've had in a while.

You looked at them, smiling as they made silly jokes and ate food. They included you in their conversations, they fed you, they made sure you were comfortable when you slept in the guest room- or what you assumed was their daughter's room.

You didnt tell them, you couldnt but you did try finding out what happened to her. Baris told you what did.

Naima. That was their daughter's name.

Naima was brought to the palace by the Janissaries as a concubine, and only a few weeks in- she was chosen to sleep with the sultan.

She killed herself the next day. She had jumped off the roof, but she didnt die instantly. She died as Hurrem watched from her balcony, and she refused to alert anyone to help the poor woman.

You didnt want to take this last bit of hope from the couple- the hope that Naima may still be alive and will come home one day.

-

You were woken up to someone banging on the door.

"BY THE ORDER OF SEHZADE MUSTAFA! OPEN THE DOOR!" Someone yelled from outside. The old man sprung to his feet as he peered through the window.

Janissaries. A whole troop of them and in the very front, sitting on top of their horses were Mustafa and Mehmed.

"Get her out of here." The old man told his wife, who hurried you out of bed and was about to leave through the back door when she saw the Janissaries out there as well.

"Come on." She dragged you up the stairs to the roof, just as you heard the door being broken down and yelling.

Reaching the roof, you looked down only to see the cottage was surrounded by the guards.

"We're surrounded." You whispered. "There is no escape."

"There is." The old lady whispered back to you, ushering you towards the edge of the roof. "Jump."

You looked at her. "What?"

"I wont let them take you back there. Jump, Y/n." She pushed you towards the edge.

"No- I'm not jumping!" You tried to back away but she gripped your arm.

"You have to, Y/n! I wont let them- I wont let any man take advantage of you! I wont let them do to you what they did to my Naima!" She cried, pushing you towards the ledge again, but you resisted against her, causing you to fall onto the ground.

"I'm doing this to save you!" She cried again, straddling you as she wrapped her hands around your throat. "Why wont you understand-"

"STOP!" A voice yelled. You both looked to the side to find Mustafa and Mehmed, the latter holding the old man.

Mustafa raised a hand in surrender. "Let her go. And we wont hurt your husband."

The old lady looked conflicted, as she looked at Mustafa and then at Mehmed who held a sword at the old man's neck, ready to slice it.

"I- I-" She continued to hold your throat as you struggled to breathe.

For a brief moment, the couple made eye contact and the old man smiled at her reassuringly.

"Do it. Save Y/n." He told her, but before anyone could react, Mehmed sliced off the man's head, Mustafa looking at his younger brother in shock as the woman shrieked before she began choking you hard.

With lightening speed, Mustafa pulled her off you and pushed her to the side.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" He crouched beside you, checking on you as you took huge gulps of air before nodding. Mustafa sighed in relief as he helped you stand up, only to turn around to find Mehmed holding the woman over the edge.

"Mehmed, dont!" He yelled, but it was too late. Mehmed kicked her in the back and the old lady fell to the ground. Mustafa left your side to look over the edge, eyes wide as he saw the woman hadnt died. Blood sputtered out of her mouth as she stared up with eyes blown wide.

And then, a sword fell on her neck straight down, finally killing her.

He looked to his side only to find Mehmed looking down disinterested, as if he hadnt just brutally murdered an old woman.

His younger brother.

A monster.

He watched Mehmed whisper threats to you as he dragged you back outside, practically throwing you over his horse. Mustafa let him take you- he wasnt going to fight who gets to ride with you when they were all going home.

Except... not.

Mustafa's brows furrowed in confusion as he watched Mehmed and his Janissaries take a turn and go a completely different path then the one to the Topkapi palace.

Where was he taking you?

Mustafa sped after Mehmed, his troops following behind as he yelled at Mehmed to stop.

But he didnt, not until an abandoned palace came to view.

Mehmed got off his horse, pulling you down before nodding at his men to take you inside.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mustafa asked as he got off his own horse, marching towards you but Mehmed blocked his path.

"What I should've done in the first place- duel."

Mustafa looked at him in disbelief. Duel? "You want to fight me? Have you truly lost it?!"

Mehmed got up in his face. "I've seen the way you look at her. I am not going to stand for it any longer."

"Mehmed-"

"Only one of us can have her, Mustafa. This ends today." Mehmed pushed him as he drew his sword.

Mustafa lips settled into a thin line.

"Fine." He pulled out his sword. "May the better prince win."

-

"Let go of me!" You try pulling yourself free from the guards grasps, but they continue to haul you inside the abandoned castle.

"I said- let go-!"

"Oh good, you're finally here!"

Mihirmah stood in front of you with a grin.

"Mihirmah? What are you doing here?"

She raised a brow. "What am I doing here? I'm here to prepare you!"

"Prepare me?"

"Mmhm! For your wedding to Mehmed!"

"What?"

She shrugged, taking you by the arm as she pulled you inside a room. "Well, when I found out you had run away, I suggested to Mehmed that the only way to make sure you stay by his side is for him to marry you. And I knew my mom would've stopped him from doing that, so I suggested he bring you here! By the time dad returns, you'd already be married to Mehmed and dad will definitely choose him to be the next sultan! Its only a cherry on top that Mustafa came here as well, and when Mehmed kills him- dad will have no choice but to choose Mehmed as his heir!"

You watched in disbelief before trying to make a run for it, but she anticipated it, snapping her fingers for the guards to lock the doors.

"Now, I will send the maids inside to get you ready. I need to go check on the sheikh who has to marry you two off." She smiled before leaving you alone.

She could care less about the sheikh, right now- she wanted a seat upfront to the showdown! Mehmed was going to win and she needed to be there to witness it.

-

Mustafa dodged Mehmed's attack again. Despite agreeing to the duel earlier, Mustafa had been taking on the defensive. Mehmed was his younger brother, he was still family even if he incredibly insane.

He cant bring himself to hurt him-

"Why arent you fighting?" Mehmed growled as he swiped at him again. "Are you that afraid of dying? Fight me like a man!"

"I dont want to fight you at all." Mustafa jumped back as he striked again. "You're my brother-"

"Like hell we are! One way or another, I'm killing you Mustafa! Be it today, or tomorrow when I'm finally sultan, because you know your mother screwed up any chance you had to be chosen! She fucked up and now you will pay for it!" Mehmed yelled, finally hitting a nerve with Mustafa.

My mother. They dont respect her.

Mustafa raised his sword as he struck over and over again, Mehmed barely able to escape the blade as it sliced his skin many times.

My own brother wants to kill me. And if I die, then so will my mother,

Mehmed groaned as Mustafa suddenly sliced the skin on his arm, the younger prince rolling onto the ground to avoid getting his arm cut off clean. But Mustafa was faster, kicking him in the stomach as Mehmed dropped onto the ground in pain.

"I am the better son." Mustafa said with a kick to his stomach.

"I am the better ruler." Another kick.

"I am the better choice." Another kick.

"I am better than you. In every way." Mustafa raised his sword to drop it on Mehmed's neck, just as cruelly he had done to that old woman.

Mehmed raised his hand in surrender as he coughed up blood.

"Please, Mustafa- d-dont. I'm your brother!" Mehmed begged for his life.

And in that moment, Mustafa saw his younger brother, the small child he promised to always protect.

Mustafa closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before stepping away.

"I. Win." He stated, turning around to leave. He was the bigger man. Once again, his mercy overtook his- no his love for his brother overtook his logic. He knows Mehmed wont back down, he will fight with him again. But that will be for another day-

"M-Mustafa." He looked back at him, his heart dropping at the sight.

Mehmed was coughing up blood, his face looked pale- and then he puked.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

And the moment his mouth started foaming, Mustafa remembered his mother's words.

"Dont worry about Mehmed, hm? He wont be a hurdle."

Mahidevran may have been exiled, but she still had a few people loyal to her. People who wanted Mustafa as the next sultan, not any of Hurrem's sons. People who more than willingly began microdosing Mehmed with poison.

-

You were trying to break a window to escape when the doors swung open. Mihirmah had returned, tears running down her cheeks.

"Mihirmah-" She hugged you before you could beg her to let you go.

"You look beautiful." She whispered as she pulled back, admiring the maid's work. "Mehmed always did adore the color red on you." She said in a trance.

"Mihirmah, please let me go." You plead and she gives you a broken smile.

"Thats what I came here to do." She whisperd, cupping your cheek. "I'm letting you go, Y/n. Mehmed's dead."

Oh. Thats why she's crying. But with Mehmed dead, you get to leave.

"I'm sorry to hear that." You said, watching her stumble back towards the door.

"I'm going to miss you, Y/n." She nodded, grabbing the fire torch off the wall. "Tell Mehmed I love him."

What?

Mihirmah dropped the torch onto the ground, setting the wooden floor ablaze instantly.

"Mihirmah-!" She left the room, closing the doors before you could make your escape.

"Mihirmah! Open the door!" You slammed your fists as the room began catching on fire.

Mihirmah locked the door from outside, wiping her tears away as she walked away.

You are Mehmed's bride. You belong to him, in life and now... in death.

Goodbye Mehmed. She closed her eyes. You wont be alone now.

She watched from the balcony as the Janissaries- her and Mehmed's troops, cornered Mustafa and pushed him to the ground like an animal for slaughter.

The guard looked at her.

She gave a nod.

The next moment, Mustafa's head was chopped off.

-

Fucking Mihirmah!

You slammed your fists against the door one last time before falling down to the ground, fire spreading around the room.

Fire. Why the fuck does it always have to be fire? Why is everyone so hell bent upon burning you to crisp? First in the desert with Salauddin, then those concubines in the harem, now this. If you didnt have a phobia before, you sure do have one now!

You pulled out your time machine hopelessly. Piece of crap wont even turn on-

Its on.

Your eyes widened at the screen illuminating.

Its working.

But how-

The lightning strike! It mustve charged it! That or maybe it could sense every single time you're near death and decides to fucking work.

"Oh fuck!" You curse as flames begin to close in on you. Now is not the time.

With trembling hands you try to change the date and location, but the screen is still broken and it wont budge.

You groan in frustration as you slam the button, your surrounding blurring as you begin to travel. Whatever time you land in, it'll be better than the one where you almost burn to death.

Right?

So, thoughts?? How did you like this chapter? What will happen next?

I also sorta blacked out a few times while editing this chapter, so ignore any mistakes.

PART 11 is here!

[unhakies]

i see that ur requests r open… heh… give me a leehan x idol!secretly a marine biologist reader NOW. like reader is a good idol friend thats done a collabd either bnd and leehan really liked her and then found out she does marine biology professionally behind her idol life and he js falls in love THANK YEEEWWW😛😛😛😛

the tides between us. k. leehan (req!)

pairing: idol!leehan x idol!marine biologist fem reader.

word count: 716

genre: fluff, romance, oneshot

notes — i was gonna go to sleep but this was SUCH a good and cute idea that i HAD to whip something up real quick.

you weren't trying to hide anything. well, not really anyways. but in an industry where one can get hated on for simply 'being smart' it's obvious why you would keep that part of your life behind.

nobody noticed.

well, that's what you told yourself.

you met the boynextdoor members during a special year-end stage collab, and needless to say you've been close since. there was woonhak made you laugh until your cheeks hurt, or even jaehyun who dragged you into chaotic tiktok challenges you definitely didnt want to take part in.

but then there was leehan.

he didn't say much at first. but you could always feel his eyes on you.

you sat in the corner of the practice room, cooling down after a tough practice session, tongue poking out of your mouth in concentration as you scribbled away in your notebook.

you were so engrossed in drawing you hadn't even noticed someone was standing over you until they spoke.

"nice whale."

you almost screamed.

"oh my GOD, leehan you scared me." you put a hand over your chest. you breathed out a large breath before continuing. "thank you, it was just a little doodle." you smiled before putting your book to the side.

he sat down next to you, examining the drawing. "you draw often?" he asked, flipping through the pages.

"mhm, sometimes. it helps me think." he just nodded in response, stopping back to your recent drawing. "i think i've seen this species before." he started.

you froze, looking up at him with wide eyes. "huh?"

"the whale. it's dorsal fin, it's head shape. it's pretty easy to tell that its a sei whale." he pointed as he names the characteristics.

you stared at him. you knew he liked fish, but wow.

he gave his signature grin, "i have a knack for this stuff."

you blinked. "well, you're right, it is a sei whale."

he smirked. "lucky guess."

but you knew it wasn't luck at all.

he was reading you like an open book.

days passed by, and it was like he was in a true crime documentary, collecting evidence like his life depended on it.

when he dropped by your dorms to pick something up, he spotted the plethora of sea life books on your bookshelf. he noticed your necklace, the small seashell shaped pendant catching his eye. or even the way your eyes lingered on his fish themed phone case.

the two of you were left in the break room. the rest of the members left to do god knows what. you were doodling in your fish themed sketchbook again, as leehan kept his gaze fixed on you.

you looked up at him.

"are you trying to figure me out?" you chuckled softly.

"a little."

"so, whats your verdict?" you closed your book and sat forward.

"i think you care about a lot of things most people overlook,"

you swallow and look away, you couldn't bare to look at him in the eyes. it's like the room got smaller.

"and i think that's beautiful." he finished. you mustered up the courage to speak. "thank you.." you said, cheeks burning.

he just gave a knowing smile and said nothing else.

the next day, you walked into your break room, your eyes landing on the familiar fish cover of your book. but this time, there was a yellow sticky note on it.

"your whale drawing the other day was really good. ps; i named him seihan." - L

you laughed, startling the staff members who were working on stuff around the room, but you could care less.

leehan found a part of you you thought nobody would see. he didn't just accept it. he liked it.

he liked you.

your staff mentioned something about someone leaving a gift for you in your break room. again.

you didn't need a degree to know it was leehan.

you opened up the small pale blue box. inside a seashell, delicate and smooth with soft blue and pink lines, and a note.

"for when you can't hear the ocean, hold this to your ear. i hope it helps you feel as close to home as it does for me." - L

you bite your lip.

maybe the tide has fully come in

and you might be ready to let it.

perm taglist; @sh0dor1

[chessboredom]

Hey hey! Yeah ive noticed when it comes to actual toxic shadowvanilla (or even closer to cannon) they dont get in depth of it. It feels like theres something MISSING! Ackkkkkkk i am a beliver of them being mutually toxic to each other (especially tr) If TR did for some reason truly became a cookie of decite, it would not end well for either of them! Think about it, shadow milk wants someone who understands BUT how he wants Pure vanilla to be a cookie of decite. And and shadow milk so caught up in his joy didnt even notice the cannon betryal, then take that and up it with truthless recules. Tr would 100% be lying for his own gain, probably notice shadowmilks emotional weakness and twist it like a KNIFE! The roles would be reversed! Shadowmilk is the puppet now, yet he doesnt KNOW it! So blinded by his loneiess, and the need to have someone to understand him! That he allowed himself be used (quite ironic if you think about it) cuz PV normally is not one to show his emotions in his sprites (other than his staff and well shadowmilk meddling) AND HE ISNT A OWO MAN!!! Sick of the owo man treatment! TR is that but UPPED!! A cookie of decite who doesnt express his emotions, able to twist it however he likes. Like i can see this as a Sm thinks hes the puppet master, while being the puppet. Tr lets him think that!!! Its easier to maulipate someone if they think their in control. Its MESSY! (I cannot put into words how messed up this situation would be) shadow milk you FOOL! Youve created your own MONSTER! One who sees you as a means to a end, a PUPPET. False fluff, fapse happiness, false LOVE! What TR gives you is a LIE and even if theres truth in it YOU DONT KNOW IT, YOU COUNDNT EVEN TELL WHEN HE PULL OFF A LIE! (In cannon) YOU are now in the web of lies of your own creation, Tr is your spider!! Anyway uh thats a little bit of what this dymatic makes me go crazy over (i have more ideas....)

ANON YOU FUCKKING GET IT OH MY GOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS REAL!!!!!!! I LOVE TOXIC YAOIIII!!!!

I'm gonna fucking yap about PV characterization (AGAIN.) (I just love him so fucking much.)

Very Long LONG post. XP

I'm so happy right now because you UNDERSTAND that PV isn't just some fucking UwU bean guy. Like, this is why he's so fucking good at being a leader because of his EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and that he DOESN'T get caught up by his emotions and focuses on the problems even if it's stressful. Like a scene in Odyssey where Dark Cacao gets MAD when Clotted Cream had the idea of wanting the powers of the Soul Jam but Pure Vanilla remained calm as ever(And all of the sprites used this scene have his eyes open. He is SERIOUS.) Out of the WHOLE Ancients, despite his youthful, brighter amd unchanging appearance (and that's why his Korean Va is a girl to convey his youthfulness) he is the nost mature because he tries to Understand the situation and not diving head first. He isn't a warrior, but he is skilled involving emotions BUT he keeps DOUBTING himself at first like "I can't believe I did that! But I'd do anything for my friends to protect them."

AND THEN SHADOW MILK COOKIE COMES IN!!!! Omg Shadow Milk Cookie, DO NOT unlock the full potential of that Skill Pure Vanilla- I man Truthless Recluse has(Emotional Intelligence😇 LEVEL UP! ➡️ Emotional Manipulation😈) that he made you look stupid by making YOU think that YOU are the one IN CONTROL!

LOOK AT HOW HE DOES IT BY MAKING SMILK THINK HE'S IN CONTROL!!

En got "You and I... were meant to be together."❌️ The shadowvanilla shippers are really feeding on this line omg.

Kr got "I guess I have to accept you... Or become a part lf you."✅️ THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!!!! EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AT IT FINEST BAYBEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! MAKE HIM THINK HE'S THE ONE PULLING YOUR STRINGS WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY SLITHERED YOUR WAY THROUGH HIS MASK!!!! UUUGGHH SMILK YOU MADE HIM BETTER THAN YOUUU

That's why I kept mentioning that PV is KIND, and not Nice and he is pretty much capable of incredible violence. Does anyone even REMEMBER PV having enough seeing his friends suffer when he was the last one standing that he tries TO KILL DARK ENCHANTRESS?? He does a lot of things that involves he SACRIFICING HIMSELF in the process. UGHHH!! FUCK!! PURE VANILLA COOKIE IS NOT NICE!! HE WANTED TO KILL SHADOW MILK COOKIE!!! Remember the "Crash Out" scene? That's his true emotions having throwing a suprise party. He had ENOUGH. Then the scenery changes that made him remember that he wasn't supposed to be a violent person. He's an angel! 😇🙏 Silly Vanillyyy, why would you say "I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!!" that isn't like you at all!! [sarcasm](He is literally holding back the rage every single fucking day of his life.)

As much as people love to draw PV hugging Smilk closing to the end of the Ep, he literally beats him up and people seem to forget that over thinking PV is nice Uwu It doesn't have to be this way Shadow Milk Cookie. Meanwhile in the Korean version, Awakened PV had a dialogue that went, "I like helping people but I had enough of your shit Shadow Milk Cookie.☺️" Pure Vanilla Cookie said calmly. (Link to the video I made with this line.) And then made shooting stars of Truth descend from the sky to attack him. He did say he wanted Smilk to be his friend, but he wouldn't back down in a fight anymore. That's why his Awakened "Compassionate" or "Comprehender"(in Korean) form finally showing his real role that he is a MAGIC TYPE all along who has been disguised under the role of a HEALER.

Anyway TR ♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤ SMILK. TOXIC YAOI REAL!! Two Cookies of Deceit. One emotional and one empty. Smilk may be the best at psychological warfare and torture, but he got himself an emotional manipulator. Tr easily takes advantage of his emotions because he acts like a child!! Just give him what he wants then he'll be satisfied in no time. Take it away from him, he's gonna have his tantrums again.

Noe I couldn't add more tbh. You explained it well and all I could do is smash the TRUE over and over.

Even with my interpretation of canon that Tr won't last long with Smilk because of the Friendship Gang and "the universe couldn't allow this! One of you turn "good" now!", I like to think the toxicity still lives through Awakened PV since he's both Truth AND Deceit. Like a bright star from light years away that's actually dead, he could still act as of he were still TR to make Smilk more paranoid and obsessed with him in a more fucked up secretive way that other people wouldn't even notice because PV is already good! He wouldn't do evil things again, right? Hehe.

Also sharing this twt post of Tr ripping Smilk's eye as well. 🥰🥰🥰

https://x.com/41n4v15/status/1896085874628087843

[aradassbadass]

I just loveeee duke lord he’s so fine 😭 Could you do one of him breaking his celibacy for you bc yall are dating and he’s in loveeee

yes of course *duke voice*

you couldnt help but smile as you watched duke and davo argue as he tried to get him to leave.

“nigga you get a lady and act like a nigga like me aint ya day one boy ill tell ya.” davo said standing hands on his hips.

“nigga shut yo punk ass up.” duke said opening the door.

“oh so you kicking me out, nigga you aint worth a damn” the darker man said shaking his head as he walked out of the door.

“you know you aint have to do him like that now.” you said a small smile on your face as the handsome chocolate man walked towards you.

“yes like hell i did.” he laughs standing mere inches in front of you reaching a large hand out grabbing your cheeks and pulling you in for a kiss.

“i guess.” you mumble between kisses.

“ i need to shower though love bug.” you say as he finally pulls aways.

“you mean we need to shower.” he corrects as you hop down from the stool and walk towards the bedroom.

“oh you gone get in with me mr dennis?” you tease going through the bedroom.

“yes lawd.” he says hot on your heels.

you giggle as he closes the bathroom door behind him hurriedly pulling off his shirt.

“you better not pee on me.” you say turning on the shower, voice serious before bursting out into laughter.

“man what the fuck dont be weird. im a grown ass man fuck i look like pissing in the shower.” he says.

“oh shut up.” you say taking your top and bra off all at once.

a smile finds your lips as you see duke standing there staring.

“you like what you see?” you say walking up to him pressing your naked body against his. instinctively his lips goes between his lips as he nods wrapping his arms around you.

“im knowing.” you giggle pulling away and stepping into the shower letting the warm water cascade down you body and just when you thought the feeling couldn’t get any better you feel dukes large body press up against yours.

“let me wash you baby, you can relax.” he says grabbing the body wash. you are happy to take him up on his offer and you stand there as he lathers the soap between his hands and then onto your body.

he starts with your back, massaging your shoulders then going to your waist.

you moan at the feeling letting your muscles relax and leaning back into his body.

“thats it love let, me take take care of you.” his murmurs softly in your ear.

you close your eyes as his hands wrap around your waist and begins to lather up your stomach. its intimacy like this that kept your hormones at bay.

you went into this relationship knowing that duke was celibate and that wasnt a problem with you seeing as you didnt have a particularly high drive anyways. well then you didnt but now was totally different, all it took from him was a look a slight grab even some words he spoke sent shockwaves straight to your core.

his hands grazing your nipples bought you back to reality.

“fuck” you mumbles as he began to massage your breast.

the motion wasnt new to you as he always did it but something about it was different, it felt more sensual than usual, and then you noticed the feeling on your lower back.

your eyes shot open and you tried your best not to tense up but its like he sense it as his hands stopped the motion.

“im sorry baby, got a mind of his own.” he says a light chuckle.

“oh no, dont be sorry love its ok.” you soothe “glad to know im not the only one feeling needy.” you say the last part slipping out of your mouth before you realized it.

he’s quiet for a moment “baby i always feel it but now i need it.”

his words catch you by surprise, “ you need it?” you say turning around to finally face him, hoping for clarification.

“i love you and im ready to give you all of me.” he says a certain tone of seriousness in his voice.

“all of you?” you repeat.

“all of me.”

his words set you on fire and you slammed your lips into his. you moan into his mouth as he wraps around you and pushed your back against the cold tile of the shower, his hips rutting against you.

a moan escaped your lips as his fingers went down and began to rub between your folds, your wetness turning them slick in seconds.

“ you wet as fuck for me baby, you been wanting this huh.” he quizzes lips momentarily pulling away from yours.

“yes, fuck ive wanted this for so long.” you mewl your hand now the one in motion. you wrapped your hand around his length, the sheer girth sending what felt like electricity to your core. he began to rock his hips into you letting a slew of deep groans slip past his and your lips.

“fuck.” he says speed increasing and his kisses becoming progressively more sloppy. you begin to move your hands with his strokes. you can feel him twitch before he abruptly stops.

you yelped as he wordlessly turned you around and now your breast are what is rubbing against the cool wall.

you feel his leaking tip rub between your ass before you feel him squat a little and then he is sliding into your aching entrance.

“ah.” you moan as he stretches and fills you to the brim.

“fuckkk.” he groans halting inside of you. “this pussy too tight baby.”

youre too drunk on lust to respond you just let out a mewl as he begins to slowly thrust into you. you can feel every vein on his dick as he almost entirely pulls out of you and then slowly pushes back in.

duke bites his lips as he plunges back into the wetness of your pussy. he wanted to go slow and savor every second and inch of this but he knew he wouldnt last a minute if he kept that pace up, so he started to slam into you wrapping his hand around your chin and pulling it back causing you to arch deeper.

you cry out in ecstasy at the feeling, all the months of yearning and craving him- this was making you feel more connected than ever with him.

your own hands goes down and rubs your swollen clit and within seconds your gushing all over his length.

“fu-“ he moans pulling out of you and you feel his warm seed splash on you back.

your at a high you never felt before and all you can do is smile before his baritone voice interrupts you, “and no that wasnt no piss.”

you cant help but burst out laughing and hope that this was the idiot you got to spend the rest of your life with.

[seokmn]

LONELY DANCERS

pairing: vernon x gn!reader

wc: 1.1k words

warning: mentions of drinking and kissing

lua’s notes: 100% inspired by this conan’s banger. there you go my vernon lover @k1eev enjoy dancing with him 💋💋

“no- seungkwan, you dont understand. i simply cannot find soojin!” vernon said on the phone. the music was blasting, and he was not only looking but walking around the unknown house, taking a good look at every person that was surrounding him. “its like she disa-“ he cut himself off, “found her. seungkwan, ill talk to you later.”

vernon ended the call with his friend and just stood there watching his date from afar while she was kissing another guy. he clenched his jaw and kept looking like he couldnt take his eyes off of her and the guy she was basically swallowing in front of everyone at that party.

suddenly everything started to slow down and the music started to die. and still, he was there staring at the girl, the girl who was supposed to be his for the night – and, at least he thought, for a really long time. his surroundings only seemed to get back to normal when he felt a tap on his shoulder, he looked to his side and saw someone smiling at him.

“is one of them your crush? youre staring at them for a while now” you said as you got close to his ear so the music wouldnt be a problem for him to listen to you. vernon looked at you, not knowing if he should tell you the truth or not. “i suppose it is” you said when you noticed he wasnt going to tell you and chuckled. in response, he only gave you a quick smile, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“its okay! if that makes you feel better, my boyfriend broke up with me tonight. youre not the only one who got dumped here”

“sorry to hear that” he said, not exactly knowing what to say since that fact didnt make him feel better at all, but he still wanted to be polite. "im yn, by the way.”

“im vernon” he smiled, his shy smile made you smile as well. “wanna join me for the night? or do you wanna keep staring at them like a creepy?”

“do i look like a creepy?” you looked at his worried expression and nodded, “you have no idea how much. cmon, lets get you a drink.”

you took his hand and walked towards the crowded kitchen. “you down for some vodka and cola?”, he looked around before looking back at you, “sure, why not?”. you smiled and served him the drink before making one for yourself as well.

“so… is it the girl or the guy?”. he took a sip of his drink, looking at it and nodding with his lips curled downward, a signal that he liked the drink, before responding “the girl”

“was she your girlfriend?”

“no, we were more like a fling, but i thought things were getting serious. looks like i was wrong” you groaned and looked at him, “thats the worse. im sorry to hear that.”

vernon just shrugged his shoulders and kept drinking while you were still looking at him, wanting to keep the conversation going, but not knowing how to. “my boyfriend… well, ex boyfriend,” you chuckled bitterly before continuing, “and i were dating for four months. i guess its not too much, but i certainly didnt see the breakup coming, specially right before coming here”. you sighed, “guess our love life will have a different path from now on”

vernon nodded and was about to speak before you cut him off, “you know what? forget those assholes, they dont know love and honestly? i hope they die. so you should get back up, cuz by the end of the week we’ll be alright! youre a very good looking guy, im sure youre hella interesting and im good looking and interesting as hell! we dont need them! fuck them!” you said as you started to tear up from anger. you took a deep breath and smiled at vernon. “i gotta dance or else ill cry. wanna join me?” you looked at him with hope in your eyes.

“yea, lets dance”, he didnt even finish his sentence and you were already dragging him back to the living room and starting to dance to the song that was playing. at first, vernon was a little bit shy of dancing in front of everyone, but his shyness was slowly dying as he saw how carefree you were while dancing like there was no tomorrow, like no one was around you two. soon enough, the two of you were having the time of your lives, dancing like it could save you from a heartbreak or even save your lives and it really felt like it could save you from any worries or danger.

your movements started to slow down as both of you started to get a little tired from dancing. you were smiling as you looked at vernon, his smile making you smile even wider. it felt like there was only you and him in that moment, your heart was beating fast and you couldnt tell if it was because of all the dancing or if it was because of him standing right in front of you.

the euphoria you were feeling was too intense. you kept looking at vernon, it was clear that he was getting tired, but he continued dancing anyway, enjoying his time and forgetting about his ex date’s existence. once he finally made eye contact with you, you didnt think twice – actually, you didnt even think – and leaned forward, your lips meeting his.

you felt your heart beating even faster once you felt his soft lips in contact with yours. you broke the kiss right after you got back to earth and thought about what you were doing. “oh my god im so sorry i didnt mean to! i mean… yeah, maybe i did but its just because i thought the moment was ri-“ vernon cut you off by kissing you, placing his hand on your cheek when you started to kiss him back. you couldnt tell if your body relaxed or got even more excited when he kissed you, all you could tell was that you were enjoying it and that his kiss was out of this world.

when he broke the kiss he looked at you, who was looking at him like he committed a crime by pulling his lips away from yours. he looked around before looking back at you, “i know a better place than this crowded house, wanna go with me?”

you smiled and nodded, “sure, this party is kinda lame anyway”. he chuckled and nodded, fixing his cap before placing his hand on your lower back and leaving the party with you.

[jealousmartini]

for the s/o ask game: 🪽❤️‍🩹💭

i love hearing about people's love lives sm and your blog is so real

UghGGughh oh my gosh thanK YEWWW FOR THE ASK HUNNY

ᨳ⊹ ˖ ࣪ANSWERING QUESTIONS FROM THE THE DR S/O ASK GAME! ⋆.🎀˚

   ── .✦  ┆  𖤐  ┆  ␥ 

🪽 — what is your s/o from? (made-up, media, book, movie etc…) and why did you feel drawn to them?

Now I can already sense the tension in the air for this question, and I'm gonna need yall to lay down the tomatoes so I can EXPLAIN myself alr..?... Katsuki Bakugo. NOW HEY HEY I SAID PUT THEM DOWN🫵🏾 LET ME EXPLAINNN☹️

To put it simply, his character has always intrigued me, confused me and entertained me. So much so that I found myself unironically wanting to understand him even after going back and forth with myself trying to figure out if i liked him or not, and countless times ive failed lmao. But! For some reason i still felt a need to get him, so no matter how many times i misunderstood him I kept trying

And so with the help of my curiosity for his character and my consistancy with the anime, other mha/bakugo enthusiasts opinions and headcanons, edits and fanfictions, I finally got it was because he is just so raw-ly and really him and how he naturally navigates in relationships, especially the ones he prioritises. Even with how canonly brash, grumpy, bullyish, and mean he is, and with how so many people are really hypocritical talking about "oh his character development isnt really development unless he changes his attitude towards people" and "he needs to change his personality in order for us to believe it is real improvement", as if the concept of nuance doesn't exist, he doesnt adjust to their opinions. (Not unless it is absolutely necessary which he DOES realise is the case in major parts of the anime which i LOVE him for being so self aware)

It is the way he never let anyone change him. Which IS bullyish, loud and cocky. He IS mean, kinda crazy and blunt. And deep down I fucking LOVED THAT. Because even with such an insane personality he doesn't let that take over, and his self awareness is strong enough to check himself when he knows hes in the wrong. And it's not like he's biased with the way he treats people because he treats everyone equally like for example: with the way he nicknames everyone by their appearance, quirk or personality in a way that IS kinda mean but if you get him, is actually kinda funny too. And he still doesnt let his ego get the better of him when he recognises someone as respectable and admits that is so. And even though it's not in a socially acceptable nice and sweet way which was what everyone wanted him to be, it was still equal. It was still somehow fair.

And ontop of that, it's not like he picks on people he doesn't even know (anymore). There is that obvious well needed change of charcter he had (which is part of his character development) and if you actually pay attention youll notice his maturity developed too. So when I tried to tell myself that I didnt like him in the beginning, I would still find myself respecting and admiring him because of how true he was to himself, yet still pushed himself to become better because he was still so self aware.

I then realised he was quickly growing on me. Because through his character development I learnt that "being better" doesn't always mean being what is socially acceptable, or "nice" which is always what is expected. And I then noticed how I never really wanted him to change his personality. Because I accepted that this was HIM and had the right to be him, without others trying to change him. And i unironically fuck with the way he is naturally. He who is not like everyone else in the sense that is he isnt "nice and friendly"; still has the right to move around and exist as he, is (which is mean cocky and brash) and does so accordingly and confidently, will ultimately earn my utmost respect expeditiously. And when it finally clicked me, I guess I kinda fell in love a little🫠🫠(im down horrendous).

❤️‍🩹 — what does your s/o smell like?

Smokey caramel and fucking vanilla😭😩😩 because of katsuki's nitroglycerin sweat, he always smells like caramel but it starts to smell burnt, smokey or like someone is cooking caramel anytime he uses it, depending on how bad the explosions are. It is so fucking funny to me how someone so brash, mean and cocky naturally smells like a bakery😭😭. At least he doesn't smell like cooked flesh though so 🤷

💭 — who was the first person you told after getting with your s/o?

MY GIRLS URARAKA, MOMO, MINA AND JIROU! (and somehow kirishima, denki, sero and deku found out...) first it was Uraraka I told cus she and I are like this though🤞🏾🤞🏾 It's been a thing that basically the whole class knows I have a crush on bakugo even though I have a naturally flirty and freaky personality with most of my friends JOKINGLY, but if you squint, it's apparently really obvious. And those bitches have been squinting real hard😒😒😒

[kooktrash]

Please fill us in on this delusionship cause I'm so invested now. What in the world is going on with you and this guy? This is so interesting and Very fic worthy tbh

Ok ok im just gonna respond to this with the lore

and disclaimer: it is a long, meaningless, delusional story that has been going on for about a year. ask @joonberriess she gets weekly updates and yall are gonna get it all in one go 😭 A LOT OF SPELLING ERRORS

[key: the story is about 🩷, but there was a previous person 💙, and places are 🐸🦎🛑💨]

for background info: I work full time at a retail store in a shopping mall and lowkey good bucks 😗but anyway, I’ve been here since 2021 so you basically notice when stores hire new employees or people quit or new places open. you begin to know everyone working at your neighboring stores etc

Tbh it’s kinda like high school where you get bored and need someone hot to look at across the hall me and my coworker thought the guys at the shoe store were hot and they would flaunt their stuff if you know what I mean. And there was one man who stood out let’s call him 💙and we were on the same wavelength he knew we were just “window shopping”👀 but when he started dating a girl at the store directly across from mine I had to be a girls girl and find a new target

Around this time a barber shop was being built around the corner. Still a bit of a walk but on my side of the mall. It was out of the way so we didn’t really care bc it wasn’t directly in front of us. And the lore is about 🩷 who works at the barber shop. And when we first saw him I knew he was barber but I didn’t really care bc we couldn’t directly see them like how I could with 💙. I notice’s 🩷 was hot but not like “we work at the same place hot” more of “just a hot customer” type bc he went into my store with another barber and lowkey he didn’t look interested so I just didn’t care to talk to him

a little later we found out 💙 was a bum ass bitch,couch hopper and cheated on the girl with one of his new coworkers ( downgrade might I add. ) He was still on my radar but not really cause now he’s just a man.But the girl moves away and I have her on snap AND GET THIS when she was posting her good bye pics she posted picture of her at the club and 🩷 was in the background. But at the time I wasn’t delusional YETTT I just knew he was hot. and he wasn’t like PURPOSELY in the pic I think he just happened to be at the same bar as her.

Okay now during the summer I was in the streets 💅🏽and I kept running into him at the club and in my head I was like damn I see this mfer everywhere. The second time I really noticed him I was with my friends and my brother for context my stepbrother is gay but people mistake us for a couple bc we’re only a year apart and really close friends. I saw 🩷 at 4 different clubs 🦎🛑🐸💨. The first club we went to was 🛑 he wasn’t there at first but when he was there he was sitting a few tables away with a girl but you could tell he recognized me bc we work at the same place. Even though he was with a girl he was still kinda looking over at me to the point where my brother noticed. I had to explain a little bit of the lore. After awhile we didn’t see him anymore and we got bored of that bar and went to another — we like to bar hop. Anyways we ended up going to 🐸. And at 🐸 guess who we end up seeing !!! 🩷 with his girl and at that point I was like this a weird ass coincidence and you can tell the girl was beginning to notice too bc she kept glaring. he was still paying attention to the girl he was with obv but I could catch him looking over and it was getting annoying. (WAIT WAIT I FOR GOT TO TELL YALL MY BOTHER-IN-LAW USED TO GET HIS HAIR CUT BY HIM BUT I DIDNT KNOW) at some point I think he left 🐸 and little later we decided to leave.

BUT WAIT I didnt know he was standing out side getting ready to go back to 🛑. Keep in mind 🐸 and 🛑 are down the street from each other and 🦎is across the street from both, but 💨 is blocks away. As we’re walking back to 🛑 we see him near 🛑 and 🩷 stops to talk to someone he knew or whatever. We end up passing him and go to 🛑 and later he also goes back to 🛑 still with the girl. at this point I think he thought it was

Getting a little weird and left 🛑 immediately and idk where he want nor did I pay attention. But when we got bored of 🛑 again we decided to go to 🦎 and you wouldn’t believe who we saw again —🩷!!!. But as we got to 🦎 he was leaving but a few moments later he shows back up to 🦎— after seeing us go in. And my friends were confused bc every bar we’ve been to we’ve seen him. I’m trying not to be delulu but it was still weird.

anyways the night ended with a bunch of weird encounters that I’m telling myself were just coincidences BUTTT like I said we work at the same shopping mall so I was still bound to run into him at work yknow? one particular time he had to pass my store to go to the food court for lunch I’m assuming and I walked to the escalator trash can to throw a drink away right as he was walking walking back (but I fr didn’t notice it was him and I doubt he did either) TELL ME WHY I’m over here trying to be mysterious and not look at him like I know him and this mf FULLY whipped his head the other way to not look at me. At that point I was offended bc one) it’s not my fault we keep running into each other and two) I’m just as confused as him lmao 😭

after that I was basically like ew fuck that weirdo bc like I said I’m not intentionally trying to run into 🩷 especially not if I think he’s got a girl

anyways so weeks go by with little encounters like this at the mall and let me keep it a buck, 🩷 would see me with different guy friends all the time so as far as he knew I was taken too yknow?

yall remember 💙? Well he started looking GOOD again and like yeah he was a bum but he understood the assignment <3 he knew it was just flirting staring and nothing more. 🩷 was just tooo… approachable? I like my men like 💙 where I don’t have to expect anything out of it I can just stare and that’s it. so I had told my coworkers idc about the barber aka 🩷 and I was back to being delulu for 💙 and KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN nothing serious, but at this time since 🩷 would purposely try and avoid I didn’t care about him enough to be bothered

but I think the universe got something against me bc anytime I would go a long time without talking about 🩷 or seeing him, he’d just magically appear again like the universe was trying to force him back (delulu i know)

so for instance, the next time I saw him he wasn’t with the girl from last time. he was with some guy friends and I was with a full different set of friends than the ones I usually go out with. when I went out with this group

I invited one of my guy friends over and I remember we were walking past 🦎 bar and I didn’t realize 🩷 and his friends were just hanging out around there and I drunkenly made my guy friend tie my shoe. So 🩷 is watching my guy friend get on his knees outside and put my leg on his lap and tie my shoe 😂I’m telling you such Y/n moments

but isn’t it weird how after I was like fuck this man don’t care he just kept showing up? and any time I was out after that he didn’t have a girl with him anymore and he would pay extra close attention to whatever guy I was with

I was out of town for work for a whole week and the one night I came back to go out with my friends I just happened to run into him over and over and over again AND now at the mall he’s not even bothering to avoid me

like I remember once I was standing at the entrance with another coworker and he just stared me down like 😳 and even she was like “WHYD HE LOOK AT YOU LIKE THAT” And I’m like girl idk I thought he was in his avoiding me era

but from then on he would dead stare me but me being mysterious 🎀I would ignore him bc like I said idk if he had a gf or not anymore and also tf I look like approaching him first. even when I’d walk past his barber shop I could see him staring at me

at the club he was getting bolder, staring me down, staring at anybody I talked to etc etc

I remember on Halloween I was dressed as the white rabbit and we do a candy crawl at the mall for kiddos so I had been dressed up all day, I’m walking to the front of my store and I can see into the store across from mine. I remember they have a mirror right at the entrance and 🩷 was definitely trying to look at himself through the mirror when I saw him (bc I could see myself through the mirror too) and I swear the second he saw me he whipped back around to make sure

I would see him talking to other girls every now and then but I feel like it was always if we went a couple weeks without running into each other and like I said I’d talk to diff guys at the club so I couldn’t say anything I’m just delulu

I’m trying to speed this up but once I went out with the group of friends I don’t usually run into and we were at 🐸 which is a two story club. we were at the bottom and my friends and I were about to leave. it was around Halloween time still so we were dressed in costumes and I was wearing this big ass white cowboy hat. there’s no way he didn’t know it was me when I was right by the door, he recognizes my face, and I’m in a big fucking hat BUT GUESS WHET THIS MF DID. There was all this walking room between me and the wall and he deadass pressed up against my back just to pass me by slow and I even turned confused as hell like me being delulu but this man will do anything to be noticed instead of talk to me.

another time at the mall I passed by the barber shop to go to the makeup store and listen y’all I’m crazy so I’m aware the barber shop has mirrors all over so I could see if he’s at his station through the mirrors and HE WASNT. So I walked past, went to the makeup store and ignored the stares from the other barbers. tell me why as im leaving the makeup store 🩷 is standing right outside of it “on his phone” but right as im going to pass him this man does a full 180 degree angle to look at me !!$ 😭 im crazy I kno but if this ain’t giving wattpad idk what is

Basically, we kind of did this back-and-forth all summer all fall too . We would see each other at the club? multiple different clubs and we kind of keep an eye on each other. If he was with a girl, I would notice that he was with the girl if I was with a guy, he would notice that I’m with the guy and we kind of just kept each other in check the whole time but never actually talked which is where I’m saying I feel delusional. Like one time at the mall, I was walking to the food court, and I saw another barber from the shop and he looked at me and then he turned away. Then he looked at me again then he got his phone and started typing. Then he looked at me again, typed again, then put his phone away and turned his back to me and IDK y’all this is where I’m saying am I crazy because I swear it felt like he was texting about me And considering the way all the barbers look at me anytime I walk past I’m fully convinced 🩷’s talked aboutme before to them l not necessarily like that he likes me or anything like that. Maybe he just talk about me in a sense that we run into each other constantly and he thinks it’s weird. Also, I’m feeling lazy so I’m sorry to just use voice to text.’

The last time I fully ran into him was when he like rubbed up against my back that one time I was wearing a cowboy hat and I remember telling one of the girls I was hanging out with about it and to be fair she was drunk so I don’t think she was fully listening, but we were walking outside and I remember her like pulling on him and saying That she knew him and to be honest, he looked more shocked at the fact that I was standing there then he did when she called him out because he didn’t even really react when she called him out, but that was the last time I fully saw him like that

So recently, I haven’t really been running into him that much and honestly, I’m not that mad about it just because at this point it’s been like an all year thing. It’s getting annoying. I can’t tell if I’m being delusional. I I feel like I’m delulu for a reason And it’s it’s like I’m not even gonna lie to you. I Hang out with other guys. It’s just I’ve wasted too much energy thinking about this one 🩷 guy when he’s never gonna even talk to me, but it just feels like the universe really want us to be in the same area it’s pissing me off LMAO.

and this previous weekend I finally asked my friend who said she knew him how she knew him and she basically told me that they were talking for a minute, but they never dated or anything like that. They just went to the club one time together and some other girl approached him and was like yelling at him, and my friend was trying to mind her business, but then I guess the girl talk to my friend and yelled at her telling her that she don’t know why she’s messing with him if he has a girl, I don’t know how long ago this was I was kind of drunk. I don’t remember asking it wasn’t that serious so I just moved on , but I don’t know he’s just too weird and low-key I’m weird. I move weird and so I like a man that moves weird because then I don’t feel guilty about moving weird with them, but he moves too weird I might just ditch 🩷 for 💙

Except today, I literally said I don’t care about 🩷 because of what my friend told me, but then I end up running into him at my at work again and I’m like Bruh I swear to God the universe plays this weird manifestation game where they want us to run into each other for no reason because we don’t even end up talking

And to end this essay, I want to say it’s so stupid and like I said, it literally sounds like a fanfiction just because no nothing of it makes sense and I’m definitely being delusional, but I feel like I’m delusional for a reason because he has done a lot of things that I might’ve forgotten to even add in that have just made me so confused but I try not to read into it because sometimes im the problem 💀 idek delulu but self aware and for a reason

what do yall think

OH AND ONE TIME I HAD A MF DREAM ABOUT 🩷 and tell me why in my dream he said “I’ve been wanting to talk to you but you’re always with other people” and idk weird 😭😭😭 this is definitely a hard read bc of all the errors but sorry yall my head hurts

ask me questions if you got any and tell me what you think 💀like I sound crazy I know

and what I think is funny is I’ll have a full roster of men who I’ll go out with yet I’m more tripped over a man I don’t even talk to lmao

[floosies]

knuck if you buck

rafe cameron x poc!kook fem

summary: rafe tries to stop his gf from mollywhoppin her opp

a/n: for my girlies with ✨rage✨ issues 🤍

you would think rafe found the female version of himself with his girlfriend. she was spoiled, hard headed, and with a temper as short as a blade of grass.

she was younger than him by year, money driven, and couldnt stand when people talked about her behind her back. which didn't take long for rafe to learn.

they'd only been together for a couple of months when she got wind that one of rafe's friends called her a possible gold digger. needless to say she caught the guy off guard at one of the parties and caught him off guard with a bottle of casamigos to the head. she didnt wait to start swinging on him afterwards, her rings and bracelets started to become from her hits. it took rafe, kelce and topper all together to get her off him.

and as soon as she was off him, her anger landed at rafe, "let your fuckin frat bro friends know that if they wanna call me a gold digger again they better say that shit with their whole chest."

-

rafe wasnt intimitated by her at all, if anything her anger made him feel some sort of way. but still, he knew that they couldnt both be wild cards. so he did what he could to keep her peaceful.

unfortunately most of the kook kids were too entitled for their own good. especially the other kook girls who had issues with her because she had her own money and was never afraid to flaunt it, plus she wasnt much into the whole kook v. pogue bullshit.

this led to her getting into it with some girl topper started seeing during the fall. come summer though, she'd warned rafe she shouldnt be left alone in the same room with the girl or else she wouldnt be held responsible for handling business.

he did his best to keep the two far away from each other but topper being topper wanted to talk to rafe privately at some kook event which led to her being left alone with topper's girlfriend who wasted no time talking her bullshit.

getting beside her and taunting, "i dont understand how rafe would wanna be with a girl who associates with pogues. its a bit weird." she rolled her eyes her words leaving her mouth seamlessly, "what's really weird is the way your eyebrows look like they're trying to take over your face. you should also invest in some mints or something halatosis is never cute but i guess topper is always too drunk to notice your bunk breath, whore."

she felt the drink hit her new blouse and as topper's girlfriend started laughing it was cutoff by bejewled fist connecting with her jaw. rafe only had a moment to react as he heard people begin to cheer on the fight, well the sad attempt at a fight. his girlfriend was smacking and punching topper's girlfriend with a force. he knew she'd waited for the day but he didnt need this right now.

all he could do was sigh and say a quick, "fuck" as he pulled her off topper's girl whose face looked a crime scene. now he wondered if this was how his friends had felt all those times in the past. once they were in his truck he cut the silence, "i know she had it coming but people are going to start seeing you like a pyschopath." she rolled her eyes, "i hope they do so they know not to fuck with me. you know how I am rafe, you dont have to be with me-" with a quickness he cut her off "hey! no! i didnt fucking say that either!"

he looked over at her, her hands and rings bloodied, her eyes somewhat sad but looking at him with that puppy gaze, "i love you and your crazy ass way, you know that. but sadly we gotta interact with these people. so try and be good please." she rolled her eyes, but with a sigh nodded, "okay i promise." then she gave him a little kiss as he kept driving, "now take me to your place so you can clean me up. thoroughly." rafe chuckled shaking his head, "yeah baby, i got it. daddy's gonna fix you up real good."

author tags: @xxbimbobunnyxx

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I just finished ACOMAF! And it only took me over a year and motivating myself with classical german novel about a guy who fumbles a girl so badly he kills himself to do it

This book fundamentally had the same issues as the first one while not having any of its few redeeming qualities and also having new some new issues. Like, it had basically the same story structure: starts off with a few chapters of Feyres miserable life, then a hot fae guy swoops in and gets her the hell out of there without her consent, she initially struggles against the guy but quickly falls in love with him, then its just a whole bunch of nothing with the occasional magical threat or sweet moment between Feyre and her new man happens, then it all ends with an epic high fantasy finale that lowkey comes out of nowhere and clashes with the rest of the book. The only improvement here is that the section taking place in Hybern's castle didnt take up like a fourth of the book the way the UTM section did, but it still dragged. I just kept thinking to myself "godddddd Rhys just take her sisters and gtfo, listen to the love of your life just this ONE time im begging you". Also, that random Rhysand POV chapter did nothing except further drag the book out and mess with the flow. I guess its there to tell us that Feyre is officially the High Lady of the Night Court now so that the final line of the book can hit harder, but I feel like SJM couldve just written out the High Lady ceremony instead of treating it as some twist. Like, this entire book is basically Feyre telling the audience about everything shes doing, no matter how banal and stupid, in painstaking detail but shes gonna leave her becoming high lady out? what?

One thing that I noticed in the final few chapters was that action/tense scenes felt way more cringe than I remember them being in ACOTAR. Its probably because Feyre was a human with no magic so she wasnt constantly going "And I reached for the power at the center of my being and I grasped it in my hands that longed for nothing more than to hold those of my Mate—my Mate—and I became mist and shadow and flame and light and night and sky and

But those are basically just my issues with the final few chapters, lets get into the rest of this, which I admittedly dont remember too well right now, but I'll do my best

Most of this is about the romance which takes up most of the book and is just so incredibly unpleasant. One of the main things that was. well, I hesitate to call it 'good', but one of the main things that worked well enough and that made it understandable for me why so many people liked the first book, was the romance. Not really because the romance itself was well-developed (because I dont think it was) but because it, and Tamlin as a character, functioned well enough as a vehicle for Feyre healing from her trauma. Yknow, she had this awful childhood that she just couldnt get away from because she didnt have the means to and even if she did have them, she felt that it was her duty to be with her family as their only provider even though she pretty much hated them, and Tamlin came in to take her away and completely absolve her of her self-imposed duties so she could really focus on herself for once. Hes also someone who is very much an outsider to Feyres external issues, so hes able to emphasize with her without any sort of baggage. And that was pretty nice; her development could have been less clunky and the worldbuilding better and UTM kindof ruins it at the end, but it works.

ACOMAF is trying to do the same thing except instead of healing from her childhood/early teen trauma shes healing from her UTM trauma, and instead of having her healing journey be fascillitated by a guy unrelated to her painful past, its fascilliated by the guy who caused most of her (new) trauma, and thats what I was never able to forget or get past, no matter how much the book tried to ignore or shift the blame onto Tamlin and Amarantha. Its really no wonder that so many people recommend just skipping the first book because if you just read this with no context you'd probably be like "okay, Feyre is a traumatized noblewoman whos unhappy in her marriage bc her husband is bad at handling her trauma, but then this guy who Gets It swoops in and helps her, thats nice" when its like, bro, Rhysand is THE REASON shes so unhappy and needs help! Granted, hes not the only reason, but still

Another thing about the romance that many other people have talked about but it bears repeating: Tamlin was made for Feyre and his only goal was to get her to love him and his only purpose as a character was her healing and self-actualization, which is not great because the best romances are ones were both characters are their own well-developed people with their own shit goin on, but it works well enough for the kind of wish fulfillment that (most of) the first book was. By contrast, Rhysand has his own nefarious goals that he wants Feyre to be a part of, and her personality noticeably shifts to compliment his the more she spends time with him, and it doesnt feel like its her moving past her trauma and being able to finally be her true self now that shes in a better enviroment, the way it did in ACOTAR, it just feels like Rhysand is molding her into whatever he wants (the fact that he has mind control powers and is thus theoretically fully able to do that really doesnt help in this regard)

Theres also the fact that we dont really get a lot of cute and romantic moments for Feyre and Rhysand, which was also an issue with Feyre and Tamlin in the first book, most of their interactions were told to the readers in passing rather than actually shown, but we atleast got to see a few of them and they were generally pretty cute. Yknow, that one moment were Tamlins hanging upside down and she pets him and he purrs, him writing those poems after her little list of words, the summer solstice etc. Really, the main issue was that Feyre seemed to spend way more actual page-time with Lucien (and the fact that Lucien was way more interesting). However, in ACOMAF she definitely spends most of her page-time with Rhysand and literally the only kindof sweet and romantic thing that I can remember is Star Fall, and if youve been following along with my liveblogs you'll remember how joyless and hollow I found that chapter. Other than that basically the only things that stick out in mind as stuff theyve done together are basically saw traps that Rhysand put Feyre through, like her getting the ring from the weaver's cottage, or the UTM reeanactment in the hewn city. I guess they flirted a lot but idk. I thought was annoying more than anything, and the sexual nature of it, as well as all the sex Rhysand and Feyre were having in general just made it feel cheap and hollow. And I dont think its because sex inherently cheapens romantic stories, I think SJM is simply not good at writing sex-heavy romantic relationship development while also conveying that the characters have a connection besides mutual attraction and good sex (which she is SO clearly trying to do (like via having Feyre constantly talk about how Rhys is als her friend on top of everything else) which just makes it so much worse tbh)

I think a big part of it is also that Rhysand has no real personality (which is to say he does have one, but that seems to be kindof an accident bc you can really only make sense of him if you look at him as the most mentally ill men in the world, as opposed to looking at him as the daddiest dommiest daddy dom ever like youre supposed to), so its like, what else is there?

Theres also the fact that the flirting is mostly just this insufferable negging dirty talk banter-combination, which requires absolutely no sincerity or vulnerability from either party

The last thing that I wanted to talk about it not really a complaint, its just a question to people who have already read ACOWAR: does Lucien seeming to be suspicious of Feyre and her whole oh-i-was-brainwashed act ever come up or matter in the next book? Because from everything Ive heard, Lucien ends up being really loyal to Feyre there , which doesnt really gell with his behaviour from the end of this book

Anyway, thats it! I havent decided when Im gonna start with acowar yet, but it may already be next week bc I ran out of data on my phone, so I cant kill time listening to music or audiobooks while on my way to work. I hope you enjoyed it and sorry for taking so long to finish this book

[v7knp]

Telapath [a.a]

a/n: fluff, coworker romance, idk what else chapter one. mindreader, reader!x loser!abby (this is also kinda long, srry)

-------------------------------------------------------

Ever since you were young, you could tell what someone was thinking. You knew by looking at them and focusing on their inner thoughts.

It's been both a gift and a curse. Having to hear people disgusting thoughts, but you also got to know what people really thought.

You knew it was wrong to intrude on people's privacy so you usually tried to ignore people's thoughts, but sometimes you get bored so why not?

No one knew not even your best friend, Dina. You wanted to tell her, but you thought it would freak her out, so you kept your mouth shut.

You're now a retail worker, it's actually pretty fun, and easy. How could it be hard? All you do is fold, cash customers out, and get breaks, etc.

But today was different, there was a new hire. She was tall, and muscualar, and so fucking bueatiful. Her name was Abby Anderson.

Your manager asked you to train her, you instantly said yes.

Your manager meet you two and you went to the cashier to train her.

Her first thought when you two meet was

"Holy shit she's pretty"

"Hi, I'm y/n, and you're obviously Abby" you giggled. She just let out a breathy laugh and a "Yeah".

"Umm, okay I guess I'll show you how to work this" you smiled.

She was looking down at you as you were explaning all the buttons which opened the drawer, and which told you how much money to give back, etc.

But she wasnt paying attention, a million thoughts were running through her head.

"She smells so good, like vanilla"

"She has such a pretty smile"

"Oh shit, what did she just say? I wasn't even paying attention"

"Sorry could you.. um repeat that I didnt hear you?" she had spoken up.

"Oh yeah" you said, knowing why she couldnt hear you.

You finished training her, and went back to work. Like 45 minutes later she came up to you.

"Y/n?" She seemed nervous. "Yeah?" you asked looking up at her. "You okay?" you said after a moment of silence.

"Oh.. uh.. yeah, how do you take the security tags off?"

"Oh duh, shit I totally forgot about that, sorry, I'll show you." you walked up with her, a customer was on the other side of the counter.

"Okay, so you just use this tool, and you just pop it off" you looked up and smiled at her, watching her try.

"Her smile is so nice"

"Alright, come get me if you need me agian"

after the course of a couple weeks and listening in on Abby's thoughts, you knew how she felt, and you felt the same.

You were clocking into work in the morning, and when you turned around when you finished, you bumped into Abby.

You had accidentaly spilt her coffee, and it got on her white shirt "Oh shit, Abs I'm sorry, I'll help you clean up" you said

"Does it hurt?" you questioned seeing if she was burned. She seemed to have a dull reaction.

"Abby, I jusy spilt hot ass water on you, are you okay?" You said sternly, trying to get her attention.

"Y-yeah no I'm fine" abby said blandly, you could tell she seemed off.

"Did it sound like I didn't care she was trying to help me?"

"Hope not"

You dragged her to the bathroom, and helped her clean up, her shirt was still wet though and very see through.

You could see every muscle, from her slightly coverd bicep, to her abs, down to her pants line.

You were starring and once you realized you've been starring for too long, you looked back up to see a pink face.

"U..um do you have an extra shirt?" Abby said with a slight shake in her voice.

"No, just use one from the store, no one will notice" you chuckled dryly.

It's now your lunch break, and Abby's about to go on hers.

"Hey Abs, so since I spilt your coffee on you this morning, I'll go buy you another one... If.. if you want" you said on the customer side of the counter.

"Oh my god, is she asking me on a date?"

"Should I ask if it's a date, no it'll werid her out"

"Abs?" you asked her obviously hearing her thoughts, you still needed the okay.

"Yes, yeah I'll go with you" she said with a big smile.

"Did I sound too excited about it, shit, I hope I didnt"

"Okay cool, finish here and I'll come back here to pick you up" you smiled and walked away.

moments later after getting ready to go out, you walk up to the counter, you guys went to the coffee shop down the street.

As you two are walking down the road, talking and laughing, you hear more thoughts rushing into Abbys pretty head.

"Her laugh is so nice"

"I wonder how she feels about me... Should I ask, no, what if she doesnt feel the same and I embarrass myself?"

"So who do you listen to?" you say "like music" you continued on not knowing if she knew what you ment.

"I listen to a little bit of everything, like umm Noah Kahan"

"I'm gonna be up front with you I don't know who that is" you said chuckling.

"It's okay, not to many people do" she says sarcastically.

"Oh so that makes you mysterious?"you joked and Abby laughed.

You guys made it to the coffee shop, and each got a coffee.

"Do you have a favorite genre of movies?" you asked trying to spark a convo.

"Yeah, I like comidies, you?"

"I love horror movies" you said excitedly.

She laughed and you two finished your lunch break and headed back to the store, finished your shifts and clocked out.

On the way out, you heard footsteps behind you, you turned around and saw Abby.

"Hey Abs, what's up?"

"Um so me and my friends are having a little get- together or party or whatever you wanna call it, do you umm, mabye wanna come?"

"Yeah I'd love to I have zero plans tonight anyways"

"Well if I'm going anywhere I'm gonna need your number to go" you said as a tactic to get her number.

"Yeah, yeah, here" she said unlocking her phone.

"was this a way to get my number? That was so sly"

"Okay well send me the address and I'll be there." you smiled.

[6sixx6sexual6]

Hiiiii I was wondering if you could make a fan fiction about Vince becoming a dad or tommy or Nikki thank you!!

UGH IT FEELS SO GOOD TO WRIGHT AGAIN ITA BEEN SO LONG THAT TUMBLR STARTED BRINGING OUT THE 0.5 NOTE THING ON MY ACTIVITY. ALSO I DIDNT DO VINCE IM SORRY BUT I HAD ANOTHER REQ ASKING FOR NIKKI AS A DAD SO I DID NIKKI AND TOMMY. ALSO GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY WITH NIKKI MB

word count:1,736

warnings: drugs, alcohol, mention of miscarriage, cursing, insecurity, smoking (reader, only once. it was common for pregnant women to smoke in the 80s) not proof read

so I usually write for 84-86 motley (cuz thats my favorite🤭) I was tempted to do both 84 and 90s but maybe in like 5 months LMAOO

Nikki

now in the days where Motley was on top of the world and you were his girlfriend (long term or not) and he really liked you, probably really loved you even.

there was really no good time to tell him you were pregnant, you're with him all the time, but you're also with his band all the time.

and with the guys he's drinking, doing drugs, there's chicks everywhere, you know how it is.

nikki doesn't smoke but he drinks, and when he noticed you stopped smoking suddenly (though you admit to smoking once or twice in the few weeks after finding out)

you tried to smoke, you saw pregnant women smoke all the time but when you tried it made your stomach hurt and made you wanna throw up

 but when you also denied his offer to share a bottle with him, he got curious.

“you quit smoking or something?” “I guess.” “..why?” “just don't feel like smoking.”

now when you eventually told him you were a couple weeks in, still in your first trimester and you knew miscarriage was possible but wasn't too educated on it.

you told him at a party. whatever or whoever's party, it didn't matter, Nikki was wild, you didn't feel good and you just wanted him.

you would try and pull him aside but bed probably get a little annoyed, and when you finally got him hed probably do that asshole thing people do and go like “what? you have all my attention now, what do you need? hm?”

your hormones are crazy, you'll get upset and tell him your pregnant and apologize, and he's looking at you like he lagged, he didn't move lol

now he feels bad for doing this, but hed probably walk away, not because you're pregnant but he needed another drink and to think.

you probably went home and he got home earlier than he would’ve and went to find you and talk to you.

he was a little upset you didn't tell him sooner and did eventually apologize for walking off.

and he really didn't know what to do and didn't think too far ahead until he knew if you guys were gonna keep it.

you wanted to keep it? he didn't say no but was tempted to try and talk you out of it but didn't, but there was a lot of “are you sure?”

best believe he told his grandparents nona and tom right away

during the pregnancy he kept you everywhere, shows, parties, everywhere

He was nervous and excited but really emotional.

hes always wanted to be a dad deep down, and now he was getting the chance to be in a child's life, even if he knew he wouldn't be perfect he wanted to at least be there and try unlike his own.

you guys probably lived in van nuys at the time, he tried to baby proof everything like a week before you're due but he was in the zone lmao

probably even tried to cover the windows with cardboard or something but that's just because of drugs. He took the cardboard down.

while in labor, you're freaking out, hes freaking out, you're angry because you should be the one freaking out, hes freaking out because hes not supposed to be freaking out but he is and you're mad and hes gonna be a dad.

and right when the baby's almost out and you're crushing his hand, Tommy and Vince just started pounding on the door since the nurse's wouldn't let them in and you couldn't make out what they were saying but you didn't care, you hated everybody right now.

boom, baby was born and he stopped freaking out, the nurses took him for an examination and he stayed right next to you but was always looking at the baby.

he cried a little and wasn't ashamed.

hed wipe you off and tell you you did a good job.

when he finally got to hold the baby the nurses had to show him how to hold it a couple times before actually letting him.

he was so stiff and the baby was so small and he didn't know what to do besides slightly bouncing the baby in his arms even though it wasn't crying that much, it felt like it was just him and the baby in the room, looking down at his green eyes and could already tell it had your lips.

he's smiling and slowly walks over to you so you both could be with the baby.

nikkis a happy man and not a perfect dad but he tries harder than ever.

(obviously he made tommy, Vince and mick the baby's Godfathers and you had some of your friends the Godmothers.)

Tommy

tommys fallen in love with a lot of girls, but you've been his longest girlfriend and swears you're the one.

Of course he wants you to have his babies.

hes talked about it with you and also about marriage and your guys future together with like 5 kids in a big ol house.

hes great with kids. loves them.

even when he was just a kid he loved kids

I wouldn't say he poked holes in the condoms or anything, but he definitely wouldn't mind if one broke, all in his head of course, he wouldn't do it on purpose.

but when he woke up to you straddling him and held up a thin white stick with a blue tip and a big smile on your face, he was confused and didn't get it yet.

but when he squinted at it and remembered seeing one of those at a convenience store for condoms, he looked up at you more awake and sat up and took it from you to look at it.

“are you fucking kidding me?”

you shook your head no and he wrapped his arms around you and kissed all over your face and neck and chest.

hes a happy boy.

“no way baby, these are gonna get so huge! thats gonna be crazy!”

hed say and grab your boobs and then your stomach.

“and this too! but in a good way- the best way!”

and he'd scramble out of bed to find a bag to put the stick in and ramble about how he's gonna make a scrapbook.

hes calling his mom 100%

she's just as excited and you can hear her yelling in Greek and Tommy would have to pull the phone away from his ear.

huge baby showers, alcohol in baby bottles is a must (he was tempted to do something with coke as baby powder but went against it. he wasn't gonna get high at his baby shower, he was high on love and happiness)

you weren't gonna lift a finger the whole pregnancy even if you aren't even showing yet.

 you want a peanut butter and pickle sandwich? he's bringing everything to the couch for you and making it, he'll even try it with you.

perfectly capable of showering by yourself? not on his watch.

you wanna watch Sophies choice again? he'll tell you to be careful because you'll make the baby depressed (he also doesn't wanna watch it again)

if you're feeling insecure, hes your hype man even before you were pregnant. He'll probably buy lingerie for you and have you give him a fashion show, and he's shouting and clapping even though its midnight and its only you two. (three)

payed people to make a nursery so you wouldn't have to wory about it and he could be with you, but you both would spend all this time picking the wall paper, what color wood, what crib, etc.

throughout the pregnancy hes kissing your stomach, gets caught trying to play your boobs like bongos, picking everything up for you, gets you a pool floaty so you can lay on your stomach.

also cooks all this Greek food to see if you would like it.

also 100% takes turns with the guys playing songs on a Walkman and putting the headphones on your stomach, mick thinks its so silly and plays dirty songs.

tommy would have zero nervousness until your in the hospital. 

you're having contractions and he's trying to time them “1, 2, 3- wait wait wait” and doesn't know what he's doing.

lowkey the nurses ask him to just sit and wait lmao

he had everybody there, his parents, his sister, the band if they could make it and even called your family for you.

he feels bad because you're scared then two seconds later you're a demon and he looks like a kicked puppy when you yell at him because he's just as scared.

while you're giving birth his hands are on you and he fights the urge to pull his hand away because you're squeezing so hard, probably going “come on, come on! almost, baby!” all while trying to look at the action going on down there.

when the baby was born and they put it on your chest hes in awe, his hands on his head and leaning over you to see the baby, then he's going and thanking the doctors and the nurses trying to hug them.

he was so happy and nervous when he got to cut the cord, looking down at the baby and going “this is crazy, dude.” talking to both him and the baby

when the baby is a little older and its been home for a while, Tommy would not put that baby down.

the baby's on his lap and hes moving its its little arms with its balled up fists and making hes making little drum sounds like it was playing drums

hes definitely the one to get up when the baby cries at night but then it turns to rock paper scissors and making chore exchanges.

I see tommy being a girl dad, but would probably freak out and think about all those groupies hes been with and go “holy shit, I did that to someone's daughter”

if you had a son and its a little older like a toddler hed make a little fort with the couch cushions and a blanket, and when you try and join tommy goes “no mommies allowed!” followed with little giggles, Tommy and the son have a little meeting and eventually settled on a password for you to guess and then you can come in.

[k4shixe]

Barou, Karasu and rin (seperate) with an insecure chubby reader?

(if you don't take multiple characters, you can just pick👍)

Take care💗

Blue Lock Men with a Cubby Insecure Reader

Staring; Shoei Barou, Tabito Karasu & Rin Itoshi

Pairings; fem!reader x Shoei Barou, fem!reader x Tabito Karasu, fem!reader x Rin Itoshi - fluff/comfort

Word count; 550+ - headcanonns/hc

CW; insecurities, reader is chubby, not proof read, mentions of not eating (kinda ed), physical touching, kisses, mentions of hurting others, characters might not be portrayed right (personality wise) :,|

Shoei Barou

* He loved the way you were. Kind, caring and confident

* He absolutely adores you

* So when you started looking into the mirror more he knew what he had to do

* Next time you were looking at yourself again he automatically picked himself up and warped his arms around you

* He began saying the sweetest words that ever came out of his mouth just for you

* Made sure you knew how beautiful you are even if you couldn't see it

* Showed you off to everyone and kept a close on anyone who looks even towards your direction

* He just wants you to know he loves you more then anything in the world

Tabito Karasu

* When he notices you wearing more baggy clothes then usual, he couldn't lie he did feel concerned.

* He understood that 'they were much comfier' then the dresses you always lived to wear but you just suddenly stopped

* You always asked if you "looked good" or "look fat" and thats when everything clicked in his mind.

* Karasu would give you lots of small pecks on your neck and cheeks and he'd find that ticklish spot just to see you smile

* Giving you a big smirk as he wraps his arms around your shoulders from the back

* "Babe you always look amazing" he always reassures making sure you know your his queen

* And if you want to wear makeup this man will ruin it and say something like "guess you'll have to show your beautiful face to everyone now"

* If you get the slightest bit uncomfortable and insecure because "he's out of your league" which is complete nonsense to him, he will not hesitate to hold hands with you or put his arm around you and pull you closer to him.

* He absolutely loves how shy you get and that just makes him love you so much more

* If you want to exercise more he will give up whatever he's doing to be with you and help you but will always make sure you know he loves you no matter how you look.

* If you get tired he'll carry you anywhere and if you say something dumb like "im too heavy" he will just shush you

* "Babe you are the amazing, wait no. Your perfect. Actually more then perfect. Now lets go get some food, im starving."

* And when you giggle, he knows he won.

Rin Itoshi

* Rin would always complement you, on your looks, personality, everything.

* You were so perfect in his eyes

* So you must understand how confused he was when you 'didnt feel hungry' for a few days

* He sat you down and asked you what's wrong and you immediately told him because why wouldn't you?

* He already knew but it hurt more when you told him you feel insecure

* So the first thing he done was promise you that you are the most perfect person ever and gave you a kiss

* The second thing he done was take you out to your favourite restaurant and he let you buy as much as everything and everything

* Basically whatever you heart desired

* On the way home he had his arm around your waist and pulled you so very close to him so you know he isn't joking

* If anyone comments on you they better count their days

* Rin will give you extra complements,kisses, affection so your 110% sure he is certain that your his everything

* He'll also plan some cooking dates just to make sure your still eating

A/n; Super duper sorry if the characters personalities and what they would and wouldn't do dont match up or if they are the wrong ones or smth. I wanted to write a fic but it was just better in head cannons. Anyways I hope you enjoy it!

[pellowinksx]

🧷🧷🧷UPDATE on my skin so after last time I kindaaaa noticed somw stuff that went against it but I ignored it and then yesterday I swam (barely. hust stood in rhe water it was cold ok) oh also found a cute cherry swimsuit and it supports my chest! Anyway I even got new spots which isnt usual for me but I woke up today and the new ones are kinda neutralized and hidden by my bangs and the old scars and marks are lighter and when I put powder+concealer on it frfr not joking looked clear!!! last night during my mirror thingy I also did clear skin since I can't just focus on one thing unforch and I think its helping me to make manifesting a hobby again and not a "chore but not chore" where im trying not to get into actual doing stuff bc it "shouldn't take work" ykyk? I got caught up in that. also im gonna babysit this summer and im sooo excited bc my baby cousin is very cute and also she always calms down when I hold her😭😭😭 she goes right to sleep! she got squishy since shes 3mo today and im sooo excited bc ill make money (gonna get vintage dresses and EVEN A LACE BONNETTHING LIKE A PRAIRIE GIRL ON EBAY!!!) and I get to care for a cute little squishy peanut 😭!!! things are well on this front (lmao) hair looks longer and thicker (ive learned i need to focus on small wins, not be sad it didnt go crazy fast overnight🩷) and bangs are doing what they should. ++ since i started manifesting hair growth my eyebrows grow faster which is ANNOYING bc I do them once a week (they're very thick but I like thin ones on me nowadays) but ykw ill take it. I wanted hair texture sosooso bad last year and also guess what happened now this year, I became 1C 😭 its been a learning experience on how to care for it (it can look frizzy without the right brushing etc) but the volume is much welcomed! I honestly feel so much better maybe because school is out but I just feel safe and secure now and like itll work out for me and it makes me excited rather than constant anxiety about not thinking about not having it. oh also I mean this is probably because I practiced daily and still do almost daily but im a super good driver noe and I got my permit February and was super anxious and slow and just shitty at it but noe im rlly smooth😛😛😛. I feel like there's more but I forget and im sleepy so im gonna shower and nap etc meamwmamwmamwmammwmam we love u girl🧷🧷🧷🧷🧷🧷🧷🧷♡♡♡

oh also the lake we used to go to, my family, it had flooded for a while but now its back down! so im excited to go swimming in there again its like a beach even though this is the midwest lmao. I also passed my driver's license test even though I sucked ngl but I was kinda affirming I kept thinking I ATE I ATE I ATE I DEVOURED I DECOURED I DEVOURED and I did! yeah I almost failed but I still passed! gonna get my license in November at least if not later (might need more practice idk hut I think il be good). im so excited for summer I can just tell this will be so fun and changing for me idk I jusy feel hopeful and like ive done the work to get better and now things will be beautiful yk??? I just feel it now. mwa🧷🧷🧷

OMGGG IM SO FUCKING JEALOUS I WISH MY BROWS GREW BY ACCIDENT

but omgomgomg congrats babe ALSO I LOVE BABYSITTINGGGG omg i wanna do it again

++ HOW LONG is your hair now? i bet its so perfect like omg

i've never gone swimming in a lake is it fun?

I LOVE U TOO GIRL manifesting ur success on your drivers test MWAH 💗💗

[bridgyrose]

Ladybug Week Day 1: Soulmate au

Blake put a hand to the White Fang mask she wore and pulled it off as she looked over the city of Vale. Months of being stationed here with Adam had felt like years as she kept her head down, waiting for her orders. Dust heists had come to a stop after the first few were thwarted by an up and coming huntress, the same huntress that she had hoped to see again today. 

She wasnt sure what it was about her that made her heart flutter, but she knew one thing when she first saw the huntress: that she was her one true love. It wasnt that she believed in soulmates or fate or destiny, but there was something about the huntress that made her feel different. And she wanted to feel it again.

So here she sat on top of a dust shop as she waited for any sign of that huntress again. Though, Blake did have to admit that she was starting to get bored of waiting. The night was a lot quieter than expected, and without any excitement, the chances of seeing that huntress again seemed pretty low. And if she wasnt going to find her sitting around, then maybe she could find her on the streets. 

Blake stuffed her mask back into her pack, tied a ribbon to hide her ears, and made her way down to the streets to search for the huntress. She wandered through the streets as she walked past each shop, lingering as she passed by the window of a bookshop. She remembered the fairytales her mother had read to her when she was younger and the few books she’d stolen to read. The thought of being able to walk into a store and find those books again made her smile a bit. And if she was lucky, there’d be a book to help her find the huntress that took her heart. 

She pushed open the door and made her way into the store, only to pause when she heard a voice call out to her. 

“Welcome to Tuckson’s book store,” Tuckson said from behind the counter. “We have everything under the sun.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Blake said as she meandered around the shelves of books, almost getting lost as she read each title, trying to find an old book of fairytales. Her eyes ran past romances and tragedies, a few she had recognized as titles she’d pilfered from past raids. Finally she found what she was looking for and reached out to grab it, only pausing when she saw another hand reach for it. 

“Sorry about that,” a girl said as she pulled her hand back. “I didnt see you there.” 

Blake looked at the girl next to her and paused when she recognized her as the huntress that she’d been looking for. It wasnt like her to be caught off guard like this, she didnt even hear the huntress walk over, let alone hear her standing next to her. 

“Everything okay?” the girl asked. 

“Y-yes, everything’s fine,” Blake said quickly as she grabbed the book she was after. “I wasnt expecting anyone else to be here.” 

The huntress looked at her curiously. “You werent expecting others to be in a shop?” 

“Yes… no… I-I mean I wasnt expecting to not notice anyone else here. I guess I got lost in the titles.” 

“I understand that. Whenever I come here, it feels like I’m in another world. There’s so many stories here to go through, so many different worlds to see and experience. It reminds me of all the stories Yang used to tell me when I was younger.” 

Blake tilted her head as she watched Ruby pull a book from the shelf. “Yang?” 

“Yang’s my sister,” the huntress explained. “She helped me get into reading as much as I do. Oh, my name’s Ruby by the way. What’s yours?” 

“I’m Blake,” Blake answered, almost smiling now that she knew the name of the huntress that had caught her eye. “What book is that?” 

Ruby flipped through a few pages of the book in her hand. “The Girl Who Fell Through the World. Its one of my favorites. When I was younger, I always wished I could fall into the Ever After and just… not have to deal with anything here.” 

“Do you not like being a huntress?” 

“No, I love it, but when I was younger I-” Ruby shook her head and closed the book. “Nevermind about that. I should probably get going.” 

“Wait!” Blake called out as she reached out to Ruby. 

She froze as her hand touched Ruby’s, a small rose emblem glowing under the scratches on the back of her hand. It had all been exactly like her mother had told her: she’d know her true love and soulmate by a single touch. Her eyes then went to the back of Ruby’s hand, seeing the same glow but a different symbol, one that she had used for her own emblem. As the light dimmed and faded, the symbols stayed. 

Blake finally pulled her hand away from Ruby’s, a blush running across her cheek as she stared at the emblem on the back of her hand. She was equal parts thrilled about finding the one she was meant to love, but also nervous about Adam finding out. Afterall, she was supposed to be with him. 

Ruby finally spoke, offering a hand to Blake. “Maybe we should talk things through. I know a small cafe we can go to. Quiet and will give us some privacy.” 

Blake took Ruby’s hand and nodded, a small shiver running down her spine as she gently squeezed. “I’d… I’d like that.” 

She made a quick glance at her pack as Ruby led the way, remembering the mask that she’d put away. Ruby was supposed to be her enemy, a huntress that always got in the way. And yet, she was her soulmate, which meant their love could never be. 

At least, not yet. 

[sleepybeauxshifts]

okay so… i’m scripting my fame dr and then i remembered that my last romantic relationship IN THIS REALITY is crazy and the media would eat that drama up..

and i know y’all people are nosey so i’m gonna share this bc i’m fully healed and moved on from this experience.

SO. my senior year of high school i met a girl that we’re gonna call Mel.

Mel and I met in a psych class and she was a junior, so a year below me. In that class the desks are pulled together in groups and we just so happened to end up sitting just the two of us at the same group. We become friends. A few months later I notice that she’s acting kinda nervous around me. Like I started to notice she liked me and then I finally realized “oh she likes me”. I started to develop feelings for her. Then I notice her hanging out with this guy, we’ll call him Frankenstein. Frankenstein and Mel were very close but i didnt really think much of it i was just like “oh theyre good friends” until i heard from my sister that they were dating.

Important context: Frankenstein was on the color guard team, Mel was in the marching band, my sister is also in band so that’s how she knew. So Frankenstein and Mel are dating which kinda threw off my “oh she likes me” vibes but i wasn’t completely hopeless because the vibes were still very much there even while she was dating this guy.

Probably around November, I tried out for the school’s winter guard (which is winter color guard) and made the JV team, Frankenstein made varsity. Thanksgiving break rolls around which is when Frankenstein and Mel break up. Now after they broke up I didn’t make moves on Mel bc she and Frankenstein JUST BROKE UP and I’m not a home-wrecker. But after the break, we have some of our first winter guard practices. Varsity and JV did have separate practices for learning show choreo and stuff but we had a joint practice once a week, before Varsity practice where we just did basics on equipment and dance and stuff like that. During one of these practices, Frankenstein would literally not leave me alone. He kept talking to me and being around me. For context, before we had only seen each other when I was talking to Mel and we barely spoke to each other at all, much less outside of that and he never even acknowledged my existence. So this was weird and I immediately clock he’s into me.

A few weeks later or something I go to one of his choir concerts and exchange numbers and he starts blowing up my phone like literally every day. I end up in talking stage with him bc i’m like “well mel isnt into me so i guess i’ll keep my options open”. i dont remeber the exact order of the next few events but mel finds out that i was talking to him and i dont remember exactly how that convo went other than her asking me who i liked, her saying she heard i was talking to frankenstein, and she was kinda hurt. i figured she was hurt bc i was essentially getting with her ex, who i really didnt care about i was honestly just enjoying male attention. after that is when i think frankenstein and i went on a horrible date in which he sat on the same side of the booth as me (when it was just the two of us), almost didnt order any food, and then would not stop talking about how he wanted to leave the restaurant (that he decided to take me to) to go to the bookstore. he drove me home and i (jokingly) slammed the door in his face and he basically never talked to me again.

back at school, at some point, mel and i finally confess to each other we like each other. BUT DID NOTHING ABOUT IT FOR LIKE A WEEK UNTIL WE WERE HOLDING HANDS AND HER FRIEND ASKED IF WE WERE DATING but thats not the point.

now you may be thinking “oh thats it”

no.

it got so.

much.

worse.

mel and i had probably been dating less than three months when me and all my friends notice her hanging out with her ex again. now i cant control my gfs actions so im like “ya know what ill talk to her” bc at a certain point it was making me uncomfortable bc it wasnt just bc she was hanging out with her ex. it was bc she was going out of her way to go talk to her ex during some of the only time she got to spend with me, and that her ex would post her on his instagram as if they were still together.

so i talk to her explaining that it made me uncomfortable and that she should talk to him and i ask her to just explain to me what’s going on and every time i did that it was “i don’t want to tell you” so i never really pushed for more info. keep in mind i couldn’t talk to him myself because we were on a team together and if i caused drama then i could risk getting in trouble or just causing unnecessary tension within the team that i didn’t want to cause.

it wasn’t just them hanging out in the mornings before school while i was sitting my myself, he would text her during class, i know because i had a class with him and her name in his phone had a heart next to it. and he would refer to her as HIS GIRLFRIEND to everyone. it got to the point where all of my friends had to keep asking me if we were still together. now you may be saying “oh your gf was cheating on you”. it was so much more complicated than that.

it turns out, he was basically forcing himself back into their relationship as if they had never broken up. she had talked to him multiple times telling him to stop and that she had a girlfriend but apparently frankenstein doesn’t believe in lesbians BECAUSE HE KEPT DOING THIS. he did eventually (temporarily) stop for a bit so i got a moment of peace during this relationship.

this next part is when she actually cheated on me so i’m gonna brush over it but her mother basically said that if she was going to prom she had to go with a boy and ended up telling me that she wasn’t going and then did end up going with a guy and i watched him kiss her and confronted her and cried for a solid like ten to fifteen minutes but that’s not important to the rest of this story and i did stay with her after that.

so fast forward, frankenstein and i have both graduated, eventually mel and i broke up because she was still in school and i was going to college and we just didn’t have time to see each other. mel and i remained friends and for a solid bit after we broke up she would text me screenshots of frankenstein basically begging for her back. like more than one time. saying he just wanted to be in her life and shit like that. and ignoring her when she said she now had a boyfriend and that she doesn’t want him in her life, just being a pushy asshole. also, when they were dating at the beginning of this story he was 18 and she was 16, which never sat right with me and at this point in the story she is 17 and he’s 19 so he’s literally harassing a minor. it got to the point where mel had to call the police on him and now if he goes to her house he’s getting arrested.

also there’s a lot of other stuff i know about frankenstein that i’m leaving out but just know he’s creepy as hell and shouldn’t have been the only guy on a team full of (mostly younger) girls. bro is a super senior literally harassing teenagers.

ANYWAYS

i scripted all this happened in my dr so i could claim that i wrote some banger songs about the whole thing in my fame dr.

i also scripted in my fame dr that frankenstein actually did get arrested and canceled and his career is literally over bc i don’t wanna have to deal with him when i actually shift there.

so dats the story.. :P

happy shifting and if your partner cheats on you.. LEAVE THEM