#like i personally don’t find it funny when men mock women issues or straight men/women mock lgtbq+ issues 😐

[letterstotheflre]

my issue with matty healy and the “it’s just a skit! it’s a performance! he’s mocking the people who actually think like that!” excuse his fans are pushing is that… why does he think it’s funny to be a racist and misogynistic asshole in the first place?? why does he think it’s funny to do the nazi salute?? why does he think it’s okay to those awful, real life issues as a perfomance?

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes: 

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them. 

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing. 

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages. 

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’. 

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

[sapphic-kid-blog]

the truth is.

Angela Salmeron

Imagine you’re me. You’re twelve and you’re at a family reunion. Family members sitting around you with Wisconsin-made beer turn from the Brewers game on the television and resort to the one question that you’ve been practicing how to answer in your head: “How’s school?” And truthfully, you’re not sure. So perhaps you respond: “It’s fine.” They nod their heads and you think you’re in the clear. But then they ask you: “What are you learning?” And before you know it they’re tacking on the end: “Any cute boys?”

Now I’m sure it varies from family to family, and I’m sure the questions vary in more or less intrusive. Maybe it was never asked, and maybe it was a family friend and not an uncle or cousin. Maybe it was asked but not directly, or enforced another way. But one question for me, stood tall and it stood out among the rest. 

My brain was no longer thinking about what we talked about in Social Studies or the book we read in English. It was no longer thinking about the new formula we learned in Math, or the cycle of the ecosystem in Science. It was thinking about one thing, and the one thing that I had no idea how to talk about: romantic intimacy. 

From the time I got my period at the end of 6th grade, to the time I finished high school, and even sometimes now, I thought I was the odd one out or the only one who wasn’t experiencing romantic intimacy the way others would. Not kissing or hand holding but even things as simple as a crush. 

What I felt was embarrassment. 

Firstly, I never really had crushes or really knew what they were. Friendships in a way felt like crushes to me, and when I had no idea what romantic or sexual intimacy was, I felt confused. So then, I stopped introspecting and I started observing. 

The romantic relationships I saw were comprised of these aspects: wanting to be around a person, telling that person that you didn’t just like them but you like-liked them, and then saying that you now were exclusively partners or “dating”. 

Most importantly: not only were those girls, who were mostly my friends, doing this but they were, as I noticed, only doing this with boys. 

I followed suit. 

Come the first day of band camp — set in a gym at one of the two middle schools in my small, conservative city. With my clarinet in hand, I watched as other girls talked about boys from different schools. I watched as they giggled and flocked in groups to discuss which ones they’d be excited to see in the starting 6th grade class coming up in a few months. 

I saw the first tall boy, who was decently good looking, and told the girls around me: “He’s cute.”  One of the girls turned to me and said, “That’s (let’s call him) Snazzlepants and there’s his twin, (and he’ll be) Fizzywizzy.” Quickly, I acted as though I was still not only interested, but now blown away by the look of this gangly preteen walking amongst the group of kids. 

This was when everything I knew about myself would be different. 

Luckily when the beginning of September rolled around, this boy was in my 6th grade house, also known as the set of students I’d be sharing a side of the middle school with. So as I eventually made friends, the more I had to absolutely drop the fact that I had a crush on a boy. I had to tell them that maybe it would happen between us because one time, I saw him looking at me (wasn’t true) and one time we brushed hands (definitely wasn’t true). They’d be dazzled, awe in their eyes, and I didn’t feel embarrassed, I felt included and important. 

The more twisted I became in this lie, the more I had to not only convince others around me, but I had to convince myself. Not even the bullying from his friends after they all found out would stop me from speaking my lie aloud to anyone who wanted to hear it. 

I spent the days either convincing myself and others that I absolutely loved him or crying because his friends would call me ugly or stupid and annoying over a lie that I was choosing to spread. But it was better than the alternative, of being singled out and feeling as though I was the only one who felt differently than the rest; it was better than admitting a lie. 

This is the first time in my life I felt like I would rather die.

Growing up in my small city of West Bend, Wisconsin, was strange. The town as I knew it was mostly white and definitely a majority, conservative white. There weren’t many people who looked like my dad, dark-skinned, and Spanish speaking, and there weren’t many people growing up around me that I knew who were part of the queer community. But my family, especially my mom, were active in the Democrat party and sticking up for civil rights. I was lucky, I suppose in a lot of aspects to know that if I ever were to come out as anything other than cis and heterosexual, I would not be living on the streets. 

However, being surrounded by a lot of religious friends, spewing the words of their parents, I quickly found out that not everyone was lucky the way I was. I found out that even though my parents taught me, gay was okay, not everyone felt the same. And not only did they not feel the same, they would hate someone specifically because they were queer identifying. 

I traumatized myself with movies like Brokeback Mountain and Boys Don’t Cry, thinking if I too were to express myself that way, I would meet a violent end. The media told me, I would be hated if I were like them, made me believe that I would find the same fate. It was an ending worse than being alone. 

Loving who I wanted to love, because of where I lived, was not an option. It was not even questioned as an option. And even though I hated myself, for telling a lie, for having to deal with the many shitty aspects of that lie, I would continue to tell that lie.

Moving on, I continued to have so-called “crushes” on boys. I continued to force myself into situations that I was uncomfortable in because I wanted to seem normal, and I wanted to seem like there was nothing gay about me. And so, the lie festered. 

I ignored signs of my queerness, and forgot them or didn’t realize what they were. Stealing my dad’s PlayBoys, hiding them under my bed, searching “girls kissing” on YouTube, watching exclusively Lesbian porn only meant I was exploring other options, and though the only option that appealed to me was women, still, it didn’t have to mean I wasn’t straight. Maybe it wasn’t as complex or scary as my thoughts were telling me. So I told myself, it didn’t matter because I could choose. I chose heteronormativity. 

When it came to high school and crushes in a more traditional sense, dating and going to dances, losing one’s virginity, I became angry. Not because I wasn’t doing it but because if I wanted to do it, I’d have to do it with a guy so to perpetuate the lie. 

Getting rid of the last guy, I had moved on to another: one of my best friend’s boyfriends (who’re still dating). This had become a new trend since the stages after my first “crush”; only liking boys that your close friends liked. And I remember so clearly, stepping on so many toes, making so many of my friend’s angry, and pissed off at me. I remember desperately wanting attention, not just from boys but from anybody because I was so sad, and I didn’t know why. 

This was the second time in my life that I wanted to die. 

Now my journal is filled with pictures of prescription bottles, bleeding wrists, and rants about how I just wanted to go away. How I was so angry to be able to breathe rhythmically and have a working heart with a steady beat, mocking me and reminding me that I was alive and I had this pain inside of me that seemed to have no real source. 

When I read back on my words, I am quite literally stunned by the anger, the hatred, and the wish for a violent death. 

I was 18 when I realized what was different. 

One of the first notable girls I had feelings for, changed literally everything. My life, my experiences in childhood, my views about myself, and so many more aspects of my personal life were all ultimately flipped upside down. I knew that this had to be what I was missing in all those years, even if I was still afraid to say it, or even think it. Up until now, romance had been dramatic, painful, gestures had been grand and demanding, and thoughts had been intrusive and obsessive. But now, romance was soft. It was gentle and uplifting, it was simple and it felt so much more palatable. Until I broke up with her on New Year’s Eve because I still just wasn’t gay— nope, not for me. 

And then, I fell in love for the first time. I loved her voice, her eyes; I loved the way that she said my name. I loved her jokes and the way she made me laugh. I loved that no matter what, everything was comfortable with her. For the first time, I pictured myself in the future, being with someone and being happy. 

Finally, I was able to admit to myself: yes, I love women, and the floodgates opened. 

After my girlfriend and I broke up, I dated handfuls of girls (most of which, never lasted longer than a month) because still, intimacy was such an issue. Maybe, it wasn’t that I liked girls but maybe it was certain girls. Or maybe, I wasn’t pansexual, bisexual, queer, lesbian, or whatever I was identifying at the time, perhaps, I was straight and I just experimenting. It could be possible, I’d never know and maybe, just maybe, this confusion would always be there, no matter what I did. 

I was tired; so tired of not knowing, and I just wanted answers. 

There’s something funny about being a gay woman, that isn’t funny at all. It’s the fear of what your life would be like without men— it’s the shame of imagining what you’d feel without the demanding presence of men. It’s the lie that you can only be serious in relationships with men, have children with men, and your life and everything you know to be true, revolves around men. I couldn't picture myself loving women, without also loving men. 

But someone else could. 

My sister has always been a huge presence in my life. And one day we’d just happen to be feeling the single life, so the conversation between us starts with: “We’ll be alone forever, haha.”

What was so different about this conversation was her so sure statement to me that I’d definitely have a wife. 

I turned to her and paused before asking, “Can you even picture me with a man? Or marrying a man?”

Her response, so simple and so true, was: “Nope.” 

Identifying as a Lesbian, now more than ever, feels so right to me. It feels like an identity in which I belong to. It’s a part of me that I’m proud of and it’s a part of me that I can’t change, no matter how much I lie to myself. It’s a part of me I never realized was there until years and years of thinking there was something wrong with me. I am proud to love women. I am proud to have a woman in my life to love. I am proud of the relationship that gives me hope for the future. And I’m proud of other gay relationships that make me feel a sense of belonging and solidarity. 

Of course, there are still struggles: the question if I’m gay enough to have my sexuality be validated, if other people can sense I’m gay, if I’ll be safe, secure, and happy. And there definitely still are some shameful doubts, some questions which make me wonder if some people in my life who know I’m gay, resent me for it. I wonder if there are people in my family, who know, and are too afraid of me to express not only tolerance but support. I wonder if there are some who wouldn’t come to my wedding. 

In the end, I sometimes wonder if it’s all worth it. 

And then I hear powerful and inspiring stories from other members of the queer community, I see their faces shining for me and people like me to be represented. 

And then I remember seeing my uncles love each other so endlessly.

And then I hear her voice, and know without a fraction of a doubt that it’s worth it. 

[kamechan98]

I’ve Sworn Of Dating (But I’ll Gladly Let You Buy Me A Coffee)

Prompt: “That’s irrational.”

Read on AO3

“You know I really hate you for this.”

“Don’t really see why, you need a break from your workshop anyway. And maybe get around some people while you’re at it.”

Tony rolled his eyes at his best friend and took a sip of his soda. Ugh, being social was so overrated. Why couldn’t Rhodey see that Tony was fine being on his own like this? Sure, he really liked to hang out with his friends, but he also really liked his alone time too. Was that really so hard to understand?

And, okay fine, maybe Tony had been spending a bit more time by himself these last month, but so what? He’d had inventing sprees before and he’d been fine before. He had JARVIS who could order meals for him and Dum-E would make him smoothies or coffee and there was a couch there too in case he needed a nap. What more did he really need?

Rhodey took a bite of his burger, never once breaking eye contact with the stubborn genius. “Look, Tones, can I be real here for a sec?”

Tony shook his head. “I’d really rather if you didn’t, Platypus.”

Rhodey ignored him. “You’ve completely locked yourself away! I mean, it’s one thing when you’re wrapped up in your work and just forgets about everything around you-“

Tony scoffed and rolled his eyes. “And what makes you so sure that I’m not? I will have you know that I am so close to figuring out how to get my arc reactor technology to work for larger projects! Like, buildings and entire power grids! If I crack that, if would mean a whole new field in Green Technology and Stark Industries could go entirely green and ecofriendly, not to mention how many people would-“

Rhodey sighed and waved a hand at him, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Yes, yes and that’s all really great, you know I think it is. But the point is that I’ve barely seen you for almost a year, and closing yourself off like this and avoiding all human contact is just not good for anyone. And, to be honest, I’m worried about you.”

Tony waved a hand dismissively at his friend. “Oh you’re such a worrywart, Honeybear. I’m fine and you know it. I’m like a cockroach, I’m impossible to kill and I always make it out alright.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes and rested his chin in his hand, his elbow resting on the table. “Yeah, because me or Pepper drag you out of there, making you eat and sleep before you crash.”

Tony froze in his seat, for just one second reminded of why he had been locking himself away for a month. But he had long since perfected the art of not showing himself weak or at a loss, and so put on his usual, charismatic smile and hoped that Rhodey hadn’t caught that small moment of weakness.

“I am wounded, Rhodey! How can you have such little trust in me, after all that we’ve been through together, our years at MIT-“

Rhodey cut him off again. “Yeah, those years at MIT are exactly why I don’t trust you to take care of yourself. You are many things Tony; smart, resourceful, funny and a very good friend, but you have the self preservation of a banana fly.”

Tony placed a hand over his heart and gasped in mock hurt. “Honeybear, how can you talk about me like that, I thought we had something special.”

Rhodey smirked teasingly at him and munched on a few fries.

Rhodey had dragged him out to a local diner and forced him to have lunch with him, after having been in the workshop without break for almost a whole week. Tony had put up a fight, as much as he could against Rhodey’s superior strength, and whined and complained and made himself as obnoxious as possible so Rhodey would think he was too annoying, drop it and leave him alone to work in peace.

It hadn’t worked, obviously.

But Tony knew his best friend, just like Rhodey knew him too well. Rhodey had something else he wanted to say or talk about, and Tony had a feeling he knew what it was, but he wasn’t ready to talk about that. Not yet, and probably not ever.

But of course, Rhodey wasn’t one to avoid tough topics, at least as far as Tony was concerned, so when he cleared his throat pointedly, Tony knew what was coming.

“So… I thought about going out tonight; maybe get a few drinks and dance with Carol. You wanna come along? We’d both love to hang out with you, you know, it’s been forever.”

Tony rolled his eyes with a low groan. ‘Here we go again.’ But still, there was a small chance that he could get Rhodey to drop the subject, so he tried to look as flippant as he could.

“Oh yeah, I love being the third wheel to my best friend and his girlfriend when they go out to drink and dance on a Saturday night. Gee Rhodey, it’s like you know me inside out.”

Rhodey smiled weakly, though it was probably supposed to look relax and spontaneous. Like Tony was supposed to believe that this was something he had come up with on the spot.

“Well, I’m sure we could find a date for you too if that’s a problem. I mean, you’re great at attracting handsome men and beautiful women; you’re downright charming when you want to be. In fact, I already know this girl; she’s one of Carol’s friends and is going to law school. She’s really cute and-“

‘Oh my God, really? Are we doing this?’ Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew that this would come up sooner or later, but God, why couldn’t it have waited a little? Or never.

He groaned and looked up at his friend, trying his hardest to be patient. “Rhodey, I told you I’m not dating anymore. It’s clearly not working out for me.”

“You’ve been with plenty of men and women before! What’s that they call you, ‘Genius, Playboy Philanthropist?’ It’s not like you’ve never hooked up with anyone before, so what’s the problem now?”

Tony shrugged and took another sip of his soda. “Yeah but ‘hooking up’ and ‘dating’ are two very different thing. I can handle casual sex just fine, so long as we’re both aware that’s what we’re doing and there are no strings attached to anything, then it’s all fine and good. But I’m done with dating other people. Casual sex is fine but no dating, no tying myself up to one person, no love.”

Rhodey looked at him incredulously. “You cannot be serious, Tony. You can’t give up on finding love because one relationship didn’t work out, that’s irrational. What are you afraid of?”

Tony stared at him for a second, then sighed and looked him straight in the eyes. ‘Fine then. If you want to go there Rhodey, fine, we’ll go there!’

“Oh, you think this is all about Pepper? You think that I’m so torn up about her that I’m swearing off dating? Oh-ho no, no I can handle one relationship not going the way I want them too. But it’s not just her; it’s literally every single relationship I’ve ever tried with anyone! They always turn out to be assholes, bitches or some poor soul who can’t handle me and all my broken parts and bad history. No one I date ever sticks around for me or want me for who I am, Rhodey. So why bother?

Rhodey suddenly looked at all sympathetically, a rather pityingly, which made Tony even more mad. He didn’t want Rhodey’s pity; he just wanted to drop it all.

“Aw, come on Tony, you shouldn’t let those assholes control your lives like that. You deserve to find love just as much as anyone else in the world, you shouldn’t let a few bad apples spoil the batch for you.”

Tony rolled his eyes again. He knew Rhodey cared and was just looking after him like the good friend he was, but the whole thing about dating had been really soured after so many bad attempts at find real love.

Emma Frost had been nice at first but eventually it became clear that she only liked him because of his money. And she was also from a wealthy family, and he had heard her talking shit about him behind his back, like mocking his mental health, his heart condition or his trust issues or daddy issues.

Adrian Killian had been very interested, almost obsessed with him for a while, and Tony was so starved for some kind of positive attention from someone other than his friends. But then Tony introduced him to Pepper and Rhodey, and Killian had suddenly started to obsess over Pepper and had left Tony in the dust and tried to flirt with her instead.

She had turned him down several times, of course, but still. Not a great feeling when your boyfriend starts mooning over your best friend.

Christine Everhart had also seemed interested at first, but once he started to open up to her and tell her more personal stuff, stuff about other dates and how he’d felt hurt by how most of them had turned out, she had run to the School Papers and written a story about it, as well as other secrets he had told her. Then she’d dumped him for being upset about it.

Justin Hammer had just been a dick that was trying to find ways to beat him by trying to be smarter or better at inventing and building things, which hadn’t hurt so much because he’d gotten the hint that Justin was a pathetic little bitch and had broken it off very quickly.

Sunset Bain had been manipulative and leeched of his money, asking for expensive dates and gifts and what-have-you despite not exactly being poor herself, just like Emma. And it had been revealed that she had been trying to steal blueprints and secrets from Stark Industries through him for her father, which she had succeeded at in the end. Jesus, he would never forget how mad Howard had been at him for that, or the beating it got him.

Tiberius Stone had been forceful and abusive and had pushed Tony into sex before he had been ready, and it also hadn't helped that he was a few years older than Tony so it had before he had been old enough to 'consent' to it. While it hadn't been rape, it was still too close for comfort, since Tony had more or less agreed so he would stop demanding or guilt trip him into doing as he wanted. After that incident Tony had overheard Ty making jokes about the whole thing and how 'Stark had cried like a bitch over it the whole thing, like sex is a big fucking deal' and that 'he should be glad to lose his virginity to someone like him since no one else would want to', and he had broken up with him on the spot. Well, after he had hacked into the school's computers and ruined his grades, outed him as a rapist to every one who’s opinion mattered and let Rhodey, and Pepper have their way with him. He hadn't really given his consent for the last one, but the information had made its way to him anyway and despite all of them getting detention for it, he felt good knowing his friends had his back.

And while Pepper was the first person he dated that wasn't an asshole or a bitch, it had just been made very clear that they weren't working out as a couple and worked better as friends, which they still were to this day. And it really said something about Tony's ability to judge people that Pepper- for a short time- was the only person he had dated that wasn't abusive or wanted stuff from him. Really, it seemed like Tony was a magnet for assholes, bitches and crazy people.

Oh well, Tony guessed it was the price he had to pay to be awesome and from a rich and successful family.

So that’s seven. Seven attempted relationships that had all turned out bad, stretching all the way back from high school and all the way up till after he had graduated college. How is that even possible?!

Well, okay, Tony knew why. It was because he was Tony Stark: son of the Great Howard Stark, one of the biggest and richest men in the world and the greatest weapons builder, genius and businessman of his generation. And Tony had also built himself up as a genius and a handsome, charming and successful young man and was just building up his own future with his own company, focusing on creating new technology or things that might help people, like advanced prosthetics, his arc reactors that would change the world in the fields of green energy, programs that might help people work through trauma or bad memories or mental health.

So yeah, Tony knew he was successful and on the way making a big, strong name for himself as CEO of Stark Solutions, especially for a guy who hadn’t even hit twenty-five yet. But as a rich, handsome, intelligent and famous guy, it was only natural people would try to take advantage of to get their own fifteen minutes of fame.

But still, falling for it seven times? That is beyond pathetic.

Well, maybe six, since Pepper had never been that bad. But to try so many relationships and have them all blow up in his face again and again? To give his heart to someone else only to have it stomped on time and time again and be told that he wasn’t good enough or that was a wreck, or a wimp or whatever. To let someone in only to have them hurt him in the worst possible way?

He sighed and fought hard against the tears. He couldn’t take it one more time. If it happened again, he would probably break beyond repair.

“Look Rhodey, I know you just want me to be happy and all, but I have tried it before, several times only to have my heart stomped on and a knife shoved in my back six out of seven times. Pepper tried her hardest, but it hurt that one of my best and oldest friends couldn’t handle my-“ His voice cracked and Tony interrupted himself to clear his throat and pull himself together before he started crying or something equally humiliating.

“My issues.” He eventually finished, refusing to meet Rhodey’s eyes out of shame. He heard a despondent sigh, and then felt an arm around his shoulders as he was suddenly pulled into Rhodey’s arms.

“Oh Tony… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to poke at old wounds.” Tony nodded but stayed quiet. “It’s just… You know I love you, right? You’re like a little brother to me Tony and I want you to be happy, and you’re not. Not really. I mean, I hardly recognize you anymore. There’s very little left of that snarky, passionate little guy that I met that first year at MIT. The kid who was fearless and snarky and driven and wanted to live life to the fullest and wasn’t afraid to slip up or crash and burn if it meant learning all he could. It’s like you’ve forgotten how to be… you. And I miss you.”

Tony looked away and down at the floor, blinking hard to get rid of the tears.

Rhodey’s grip around him tightened slightly and ruffled his hair comfortingly.

“And I’m not saying you need to date to be happy, but it’d be a start, or even an idea. And just because you’ve had a lot of bad luck with dating before doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to find someone special.”

Tony took a deep, somewhat shaky breath and licked his lips. “I can’t Rhodey. I can’t do it again.” Because how many times can a guy take having his heart broken before it becomes broken beyond repair? How many times can a nice girl or sweet guy turn around and turn out to be a complete asshole on you before you learn to take the hint and realize you can’t trust them?

And just how cautious would one have to be with dating anyway? Where did Tony need to draw the line before deciding a second date was okay? How would he know who was decent and who was a sheep in wolf’s clothing?

“What do you mean, ‘how cautious do you need to be’?” Tony froze. Had he said that out loud? “Look, normally I would be all for being careful with strangers and all, but don’t you think you’re being just a tiny bit… um, paranoid?”

Tony jerked his head up and away from Rhodey’s shoulder and glared at him, no hints of teasing or light fun because this was not something Tony was kidding about. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? What, you think I should throw myself at anyone and just see what happens, huh?”

Rhodey’s eyes widened and shook his head, clearly realizing his mistake but Tony wasn’t about to let it go that easily. “Wha- no, no, that’s not what I-“ Tony cut him off, growing more and more angry and hurt by the second.

“And paranoid, really? Is it paranoid to be worried who’ll lie and manipulate you until all your secrets are out in the open for the world to see or read about? Is it paranoid to be afraid that some other asshole will abuse and use you sexually against your will?” Tony got up from his seat and planted his hands on the table, leaning over Rhodey and staring him down. “Tell you what Rhodey, when you’ve had your heart stomped on and been used and abused by every single person you’ve dated, then we can chat about being fucking paranoid!”

Tony grabbed his bag, threw the few couple of bills he had brought with him on the table to tip the waitress and pay for his half-eaten meal before storming towards the doors of the restaurant and left in a huff, ignoring Rhodey calling after him to ‘wait, stop’ and ‘Tony, I didn’t mean it like that’.

...

Tony didn’t really know this neighborhood very well, it was somewhere in Brooklyn that he had never been in before. But at the moment he wasn’t heading anywhere specific, he just stomped down the street, angry and hurt and somewhat betrayed by what Rhodey had said.

‘How dare he call him paranoid? Who is he to tell him how to feel about everything he’s been through? He had been there when Tony found out about Sunset’s mind games, when Tony called him in the middle of the night, hysteric with tears and asking for a ride home after having been raped by Ty! And he was telling Tony he needed to get over it and get back in the dating game again!’

Because while Pepper had hurt him badly, however unintentionally, Ty had been the one who had left the deepest scars in him. The guy had acted like he cared so much, had treated Tony like a prince for months, had been sweet and cuddly and strong and protective and made Tony feel so special. Only to become possessive and abusive, had tried to cut Tony off from his friends and eventually push and pressure Tony into sex before he was ready.

How do you trust anyone after being used and abused like that?

But deep down, Tony knew that Rhodey was right.

When they had met in college, Tony had been driven and witty and full of energy. He wanted to learn everything and had a thousand ideas for projects and wanted to do everything at once. He had been reckless, fearless and Pepper and Rhodey had been forced to rein him in or carry him home after a party. But with time, slowly but surely Tony started to rein himself and became more and more cautious and introverted. While he remained as charming as ever whenever he needed to be, which was vital when you were business man, he never went out of his way to meet new people unless it was for a quick romp in the sack with no strings attached. Which inevitably led to him getting the title of Playboy and was described as ‘not boyfriend material’ by the Press and Media, but hey, that was just what he wanted so who was he to complain?

Still, he could understand that Rhodey wanted to help him and bring out that old Tony that he knew back in college, but Tony wasn’t sure that old Tony was still there. He might have died some time after he had broke up with Ty.

Tony sighed and sat down at a bus stop, resting his head in his hands.

Yeah, he missed those carefree days too. Those days when he had passion and drive and a lust for life. When he had been fearless and outgoing and not burying himself with nothing but work 24/7, which was where the only place he found any engagement or passion in these days.

So he had thriving business and bank account but absolutely nothing else to show for it. No family, no love or affection and little to no friends. And even that wasn’t much, since Pepper was an even bigger workaholic than he was and Rhodey was away most of the time with the Air Force. And no one to share his life with.

Oh, how Tony might long for something akin to true love, or at least someone he could share his life with. He had dreams of finding someone, someone who was caring and sweet and honest and who wanted to be with him, not Howard Stark’s son or the CEO Stark Solutions or Tony Stark the rich and successful. Someone who loved him for all of his faults and ugly parts and bad history and issues drenched in issues and wanted to stay with him despite of them.

Someone who loved him for him.

But finding someone like that would mean to open himself up to the world again. To show himself vulnerable and naked before someone’s judgement again and hope it wouldn’t leave him heartbroken again. And that he just couldn’t do. Not again.

Because what if they turned out to be another asshole, or gold digger or lying dickface who just wanted to cash in on his money or fame or success? Someone after the things he had to give rather than who he was and what he could give that didn’t involve money or fame? And once they had gotten what they wanted, they would leave him broken and hurt once again to lick his wounds and try to piece his heart back together again.

Or worse… what if they were good? What if Tony did meet someone, someone who turned out to be everything he wanted? Someone who was good, who treated him well and made his heart flutter and he could lower his defenses around. What would he do then? Sure, he had been able to do it alright around Pepper, but she had known him since high school, so she didn’t count. And even then she hadn’t been able to handle all of it anyway, so it’s not like it really mattered. But Tony had never had a relationship where he felt like that and it had worked out, so if someone actually did turn out to be good, how would he deal with that? What if that person would make him open himself and he wouldn’t be able to close himself off again?

To be really honest that thought scared him way more than the idea of getting his heart broken again. At least that he had learned to deal with well enough at this point, but being loved? Actually, genuinely loved by someone who was better than decent?

Tony shuddered. No, he wouldn’t know how to handle that.

A horn honked, loudly and it made Tony jump and look up to see that a bus had stopped in front of him and the driver was glaring at him, annoyed and frustrated and spoke with a thick Brooklyn accent. “’Ey pal, you ridin’ or what?”

“Uh, no?” Tony said, more than aback than angry at the attitude he was given. ‘It’s New York pal, what were you expecting? You’ve really been locked up in the house for too long.’ he scolded to himself.

The guy rolled his eyes, muttered “whatever asshole” closed the doors and started to drive off. Tony rolled his eyes too. Seriously what were people’s problem? Sure, it New York but was there any need to a jerk every single second of the day?

But the bus made him remember that he needed to find his way back home soon, so he took out his phone to find what buses or subways he needed to take to get back home, when he heard someone running and yelling up the street.

“Hey, wait!” A guy came running down the street, waving and hollering at the bus top stop, only for the driver to ignore him and flip him the bird as he drove away. The guy groaned, frustrated and angry and ran a hand through his hair.

“Ugh, fuckin’ asshole! He saw me, he fuckin’ saw me an’ he snubbed me! This never happen’d in Boston.”

‘Hm, so we have a pure-bred Brooklynite here.’ Tony mused to himself when he heard the guy’s accent.

He glanced up from his phone and paused for a second when he got a good look at the guy. And hellooo Adonis, the guy was seriously built, had a body that would make a bodybuilder jealous and beautiful windswept, blonde hair and big, baby blue eyes. He looked hot and yet sweet at the same time, All-American in a way.

He looked so hot!

‘Yeah, so did Tiberius and look how that turned out.’ That traitorous part of his brain reminded the more lustful part before it could go too crazy and he immediately stomped those feelings down and looked back down to his phone. But he had never quite learned how to turn his mouth off so before he knew it, he said,

“Yeah, I hate it when that happens.”

That was a lie. Tony had never been one to ride buses, he’d always been driven somewhere or- after he gotten his license- driven himself wherever he needed or wanted to go. Come to think off it, he’d probably never ridden a bus in his whole life. But it had seemed like a good thing to say.

The guy looked over at him, groaned again and then sat down beside him on the bench and ran his fingers through his blonde hair again. He then looked over at Tony and down at his phone. “You know when the next one comes?”

Tony glanced up from his phone, raised a suspicious eyebrow before looking after at the timetable. “What, you can’t read the timetable?” If being a New Yorker meant being a dick to avoid being screwed over was commonplace, might as well act the part. Plus, he probably looked like a rich asshole anyway, with his fancy clothes, shoes and stuff; he might as well make the guy think he was one. Might get him to leave, stay quiet or at least make his brain stop going on about how hot he was.

The guy groaned at him, frustrated, before getting up and looking over the timetable, before groaning again and sat back down.

‘So, not good then.’ Tony mused and smirked a little, hoping the guy didn’t see it. ‘Sucks to be you.’

But then again, it wasn’t like Tony was in a better place. It was a long way back home from here and he really didn’t want to take the bus or subway at this time of day, it would have to be packed. But oh well, that was fine, he would just call a taxi and be home in-

Oh for fuck’s sake! Rhodey hadn’t given him time to grab his wallet before dragging him out of his workshop and out to lunch, insisting it should be his treat. He had only allowed Tony to change into a clean shirt and nicer jeans and he had only been able to grab a few ten-dollar bills to tip the waiter, which he had already left at the restaurant. So he had no money on him to pay a taxi or even a ticket for the bus or subway.

Wonderful. Fan-fucking-tastic.

‘Guess this is Karma for thinking asshole-things to strangers.’

Tony resisted the urge to groan or swear out his frustration and started to search through his bag for any bills he might have missed or maybe something he could bribe someone with to get a ride back home. Had Tony been the least bit rational he might have swallowed his pride, called Rhodey, apologize for blowing up at him and ask for a ride home, since he was the one who drove them here. It was what a truly smart person would do.

But Tony wasn’t rational and had too much stubborn pride to call his friend and ask for a ride after how he had blown up at him earlier. Also, had already ignored the calls from his friend up till this point, and he wasn’t about to answer now only to ask for a ride and admit that storming out of a restaurant and run off in a part of the city that he didn’t know very well probably wasn’t very smart.

‘No way Jose, that is so not happening. I’ma let him stew a little, let him worry. That’ll teach him who’s the paranoid one’

Had Tony mentioned that he probably wasn’t very rational?

He sighed and closed his bag. No luck on any bills magically showing up and he hadn’t brought anything worth enough to by a ticket with. And he wasn’t wearing a watch that he could pawn either. And judging by the map on his phone, it was at least twelve miles from here to his house on Manhattan. Not very long to drive, but pretty long to walk.

‘Oh well, what choice do I have?’ Tony got up from his seat and started to walk, only for Big, Blonde and Beautiful to call out after him,

“Hey, are you lost?” Tony turned to look over his shoulder at him. He looked a little concerned, any annoyance or frustration he had earlier gone.

Tony rolled his eyes as subtly as he could, turned to him with a smirk that was only a little cold. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. What’s it to you, pal?” He turned away started to walk again, only to hear him call out again:

“You need directions?” This Tony only looked over his shoulder at him. He had no interest in talking to hot guys at the moment.

“No.” Yes. He had his map on his phone, but actual directions might not be so bad at the moment. But, again, Tony wasn’t very rational and had a very strong pride and was still pissed from his and Rhodey’s talk at the restaurant, so stubbornly kept walking down the street and followed the map.

According to Google, a walk from Brooklyn to Manhattan took about three hours and ten minutes, and Tony had- of course- not taken he best shoes for a long walk today, but if he were lucky maybe he could flirt his way to a ride home when he’d cooled off a little. But he’d barely made it a down the street before he heard someone run after him and for a second he thought Rhodey might caught up with him and was ready to tell him to fuck off, when he heard Mr. Blonde call after him.

“Hey, wait up!” He rolled his eyes. What was this guy’s deal, couldn’t he take a hint? If Tony wasn’t so pissed at the moment, maybe he would be somewhat impressed by this guy’s stubbornness, but he was pissed and wasn’t in the mood to talk- isn’t that a first, he could barely keep quiet when he was alone- so didn’t even spare the guy a glance when he caught up with him and started walk beside him.

‘Don’t look at him, Tony.’ He told himself, eyes locked straight ahead and head held high. ‘Don’t encourage him. Keep your answers short and few and he’ll loose interest.’

“Hey, come on, let me help. I know my way around here, I can give directions if you need it.”

“Not interested.” Tony said curtly, still not even glancing at the guy.

“Are you sure? I mean, no offense or anything, but you don’t exactly look like you’re from around here and I thought you might need a little help?”

“No thank you.” Tony cursed himself after the words left his lips. ‘Don’t say thank you, moron! You don’t say thank you to someone you want to get rid off. Don’t be afraid to be rude to a stranger.’

Blonde Hercules hesitated and didn’t say anything for a minute or so, but he kept following Tony down the street. ‘Fine.’ Tony thought with a mental shrug. ‘Maybe he needs to got his way too or something. Just don’t acknowledge him.’

There were a few minutes of blissful silence- or as quiet as it ever gets in New York- before Adonis looked back at him again. “Where are you going anyway?”

‘What is this guy’s deal? Is he blind, deaf and just all-around stupid? Or is he a stalker, or a rapist, waiting for them to come across some dark alley, drag me in there and steal his stuff and have his way with him?’

‘Well, jokes on him then, I’ve learned enough self-defense to deal with big boys.’

Read the rest on AO3

[memecatwings]

I know I said I was going to outline a rewrite for Misfits and I'm doing it so take that executive dysfunction I also compiled a playlist of songs I think best depict the aesthetic of my rewrite so here it is

Ok first off everything past season 3 is just straight up SCRAPPED there were so many horrible gay jokes, and rape jokes as well as transphobia, misogyny, and literal instances of rape so it’s going out the window i accept NONe of it  except Abby the lesbian, Abby the lesbian can stay

Plot-wise,,, nothing much happens in the show aside from interacting with other super-powered people. There really isn’t any suspense or intrigue, I doubt I would have stuck around as long as I did without Robert Sheehan’s chaotic fun energy. And what are the police even doing? They should be able to connect how many people are going missing from the community center, trying to evade the police should be a bigger deal than it’s shown to be in the show, it should be an ongoing challenge that they face not just a one-time thing.

So basically what I’m saying is that after the second probation worker, the police start to take a closer look into the community center, they keep a close eye on the people who spend time there, maybe the cop who arrested Curtis gets assigned the task and that causes some tension. 

Mainly what I wanted to overhaul were the characters and their arcs. I feel like they weren’t really explored to their full potentials and it really disappointed me especially where Nathan and Curtis’ characters were concerned. None of the characters were really done any justice but I was most upset about those two so that’s where most of my notes are. I was mainly upset about the whole thing where they sold their powers, and then bought back completely different powers, I felt like that cheapened the whole thing where the superpowers were specifically tailored to each person's insecurities and fears. Having a power that is the physical manifestation of your insecurities was a good way to address those issues that the characters have and help them overcome them I don’t know why you would throw that away especially when you haven’t even taken the time to develop them. So I’d like to ditch that entirely. There still is a point where they sell their powers because that in and of itself wasn’t bad, it teaches them to appreciate what they were given, but they get the exact ones back. Basically, all of the events that happen are the same except the ones I specify in the following:

Curtis Curtis’ arc and his ability to rewind time reflect his inability to accept things the way they are. He’s living in the past, he’s so focused on the past that he can’t see what’s right in front of him. He needs to learn how to focus on the present and future. His arc should also reflect overcoming prejudices against him as well as that. The cop who arrested him was also black so if that same cop where to be investigating the community service crew it would provide a chance to discuss racial biases in law enforcement as well as police brutality. It results in a “fuck cops” message in the end but it would be a good chance to at least address the fact that the only reason Curtis was there is because of his skin color in more explicit terms.  Because Curtis is so focused on the past, he doesn’t have any goals for the future. I did really like the point where he had gender fluidity as a power I thought that was a good development for him. It was a chance for him to confront his own toxic masculinity and misogyny, and he comes out of it at the end a more understanding and empathetic person who’s ready to let go of his past. Once Seth gets the rewind time ability back Curtis switches back to his original power, I thought it was cheap that they had Curtis give up gender fluidity because he got pregnant (what even was that honestly is that even possible? It didn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about impregnation to dispute it), so instead of giving it to the iguana it goes back to Curtis, who is shown to be responsible with it. After he gets it back he manages to learn how to control it to its fullest extent. Another thing I thought was cheap was the way the show treated the sexual assault of men, I can’t go into it fully but here’s a great video essay on the subject. Anyways, Alecia did rape Curtis, and that’s not okay. While Alecia learned her lesson on misusing her power, what she did to Curtis should not have just been written off, Curtis was right to be upset with her and that shouldn’t have ended with them as a couple in my opinion.  The last thing I would change where Curtis is concerned is that I think Curtis should have been the man in the mask, not Simon. Curtis has the athletic history, he’s got the right metal profile, he’s got the ability to time travel, and, most of all, vigilante justice would provide what he was looking for when he gave up running: a purpose and a future beyond bartending. Maybe he goes back in time to warn them all about the evil milk guy, he was the only person immune to his lactose powers. After saving Alecia from that video game guy (Tim? Was Tim his name?) he goes back to his time but not before warning them about Milk Man. And the reason Future Curtis survived Tim(?) was that he wasn’t a dumbass and wore a bulletproof vest. 

Alecia  Alecia’s got a lot to unpack and it’s very clear that she was treated like shit by the writers. Her power was the physical manifestation of her belief that her value as a person is proportional to the number of people who want to have sex with her. She’s internalized this toxic mindset to such a high degree that she developed a superpower over it. Her character arc should revolve around her unlearning that mindset. She needs to stop viewing herself as a sex object and start viewing herself as a person. That journey of self-discovery and growth should start after Curtis rejects her for using her power on him without his consent. It kick-starts a realization in her that using her power on people is essentially raping them, even if they don’t remember it. So she stops and focuses her time on finding someone who can either get rid of her power or is unaffected by it. Alecia is the one who finds Seth first and sells her power. The main point of her arc should be that while statistically, men are more likely to perpetrate sexual assault, women can too and it’s neither okay or funny. After getting rid of her power Alecia shows a lot of regret for the way she used it when she first got it and pays Seth extra to get rid of it entirely because no one should be able to use that power.  Now let’s look at Alecia’s romance with Simon. As a concept, it isn’t bad, but the way it was executed was kind of horrible. It reduced Alecia to an object, a damsel in distress. She had no agency of her own she was just the mourning girlfriend and I hated that. If the masked man wasn’t Simon and didn’t tell her she fell in love with him, she never would have fallen in love with him and that’s the truth. Their relationship is basically a self-fulfilling prophecy that just resulted in the two of them being stuck in this time loop where one of them dies and the other overcome with grief and it’s just not healthy. Take that aspect away from their relationship and it wouldn’t be all that bad. So what I propose is Alecia helps Simon with murder cover-ups and gives him dating advice because she’s highly socially intelligent. Alecia is a people person and is good at reading body language so she could tip Simon off when something’s wrong. Over time they end up falling in love because they both see each other as real people, not just “hot girl” and “creepy nerd guy”.  They both wind up helping Curtis with his vigilante operation, Alecia being recon while Simon is tech. 

Simon Simon’s ability to turn invisible represents how he feels whenever he tries to make friends or interact with a group he wishes to be a part of, which is why before he can control it, it activates only when the rest of the group ignores him. Simon’s arc should be about breaking out of his shell and learning to assert himself in social situations especially against the bullies he faces. He needs to find a group of people who listen to his opinion and take him seriously, he spends the show attempting to impress the others and gain their approval and he does gain their attention and approval. He gains it after repeatedly keeping the police off their trail. In this version, Simon getting seduced by the probation worker goes marginally less successfully because of Alecia’s advice. She still ends up dead by accident but Alecia was involved as well and helps Simon get rid of the body and clean up the blood. As I’ve already established, I don’t like Simon as the masked man. Simon’s personality is more suited for tech support, just because he breaks out of his introvert shell and makes a few friends doesn’t mean he goes around jumping off of buildings now he’s still an introvert.  Something else I think the show should have gone into deeper is Simon’s history of being bullied. The way Nathan, specifically, treats Simon should have been a bigger issue. In this version, maybe Alecia tries to convince Simon to stand up for himself and confront Nathan over what he says, stand his ground y‘know. And maybe there’s some sort of emergency with his sister, with his emotions being so high strung while his sister is in trouble he snaps and calls the rest of the gang out on how they’ve treated him. They eventually apologize and Nathan encourages Simon to mock him back rather than just standing there and taking it.  Simon does find respect and friendship in the community service gang and the power of friendship gives him the strength to finally confront his childhood bully. Maybe it happens by Curtis saving him and Simon, knowing who he is, tracks him down and lets the guy Have It. Maybe he breaks the dude's nose too but who’s keeping track. The point is, Simon’s sister is ok, he’s got a partner who respects him, he’s a superhero, and he’s living his best life. 

Kelly Kelly was pretty short-changed by the show in my opinion. Kelly’s ability reflects that she struggles with self-acceptance, she’s so worried about what other people think about her that she doesn’t think about herself. Her arc should be about accepting yourself for who you are and not caring about what other people think of you. Kelly is highly emotionally intelligent and that shows in the way she handles relationships, she knows what she wants, she doesn’t accept people keeping important secrets, and she’s good at keeping personal secrets personal. She’s an excellent confidant. I wish the show had gone into Kelly’s relationship with the hair girl more. That was an interesting budding friendship that showcased Kelly’s want to help people. By hearing people inner thoughts, Kelly learns she can help people overcome their issues and become better people. I think she’d make an excellent Mom Friend. I also think because she’s hearing everyone’s thoughts all the time, she’d take up an interest in psychology. She can help Simon keep the police off of their trail while diffusing serious fights amongst the gang and ensuring nobody keeps any major secrets. And helping her friends sort out their personal issues and shit could help her with her own shit. She learns that everyone struggles with self-acceptance and that the best way for her to live is to just not care what other people think about her. She becomes unapologetically herself over the course of the story.  I liked the way Kelly’s relationship with Nathan resolved so that can stay it’s an important message that men and women can just be regular friends. Not just regular friends, they’re Best Friends. Nathan’s got a lot going on psychologically and Kelly is the only person he can talk to because he doesn’t even need to talk she just hears his thoughts and shares her own in return. She’s trustworthy with a secret when she knows it’s supposed to be a secret.  After community service, she goes off to get a degree in psychology.

Nathan My biggest beef, my largest cow you might say, with the tv show is how spectacularly disappointing Nathan’s entire character was. There was a lot they had to work with with him and they did nothing, they barely scratched the surface with how deep his character could have gone. Nathan is the one character whose power is never explained. It’s not really shown why Nathan developed this specific power. With everyone else, it’s pretty easy to infer why they got what they did but with Nathan, there’s practically nothing to work with so I took creative license this is mine now.  So why does Nathan develop immortality? Why is he literally impossible to kill? Well, it’s established that he’s wildly desperate for his mothers' attention and love, it’s to the point where he tries to chase off all of her boyfriends because he thinks that her loving them means she loves him less but that is a Whole Separate can of worms, but because he’s so desperate for attention it’s not outside the realm of possibility that he might have attempted suicide as a cry for help. I’d guess some time in his late teens (?) he may have OD’d at a party but when he woke up in the hospital nobody was there. The nurse told him that his emergency contacts couldn’t be reached and so he came to the conclusion that nobody would notice, or care if he died. That idea stuck with him and terrified him to the point where, when he developed a superpower, it was Not Dying so he wouldn’t have to worry about no one caring if he’s dead. His ability to see ghosts is also a weird thing that’s not really explained it might just be a side effect of dying and coming back to life. It’s also not established if Nathan has eternal youth as well as immortality, he could be looking at a Jack Harkness situation. It is possible though, that dying kind of resets his body to the state it was in when he got struck by the lightning that gave him his power. So he ages until he dies and then he turns young again or something like that. In addition to Nathan’s power, my other beef is with how his character arc was ended. It was wildly out of character with what was established with him. Nathan Young is a character who is controlled by his fears of emotional intimacy and commitment as well as an extreme amount of performative masculinity and what could be interpreted as internalized homophobia. He’s also got a whole cocktail of parental issues (he would rather be arrested than accept help from his dad) that mean, while he does like kids, he probably has a major fear of becoming a parent. The kind of person with those issues would not commit to a relationship with a pregnant woman, adopt her child, and get hitched in Vegas I’m sorry but I’m not buying it I don’t accept it. That’s canceled. It’s broke.  Another thing I’d like to change is the plot line with his brother. That bit was an excellent chance to bring to light the fact that Nathan is definitely bi. If Nathan’s brother came out to him as gay it would get him to consider his own sexuality in a way he hadn’t done before. It would get him to recognize that all of the homophobic jokes and the picking on Simon are because he’s insecure about his attraction to men and he’s afraid of other people recognizing that attraction and turning him into a target for violence. So he acts in a way he believes to be as Straight As Possible in order to avoid that outcome. All of the Adorkable Misogyny that Nathan takes part in is just a front to cover his own fears that if he doesn’t act that way someone Will hurt him and Nathan is all about self-preservation. Nathan manages to get over a lot of his fears and insecurities just by having good friends, honestly. He talks to Kelly a lot and she helps him work through shit. But it does take a while, it’s a slow going process trying to convince someone who turns everything into a joke as a coping mechanism to take his feelings seriously.  I feel like Nathan would be the kind of person to go on a backpacking trip across the world to “Find Himself” once his community service is over. Kelly offered to let him stay in her flat until he found a job but he declined because he didn’t want to rely on her. Also what job would he even get? He would inevitably end up blowing his brains out on live television for a living and that's just a given. So in the end, Nathan’s arc would be about emotionally maturing. 

As far as other characters go, mainly it’s the same except everyone introduced after season 3 is canceled except for Abby but especially Alex. Alex can drop dead. Abby is allowed to stay but the whole thing with the tortoise? Wack. That was weird and it’s scrubbed. I hated Fin too tbh. Jess is cool as long as she isn’t dating Rudy. And between Curtis having Zero Tolerance for sexual harassment behavior that ideally would transfer over to the other male characters, and Nathan’s newly accepted bisexuality, there’s no room for any of Rudy’s shitty behavior.  I like the superpower support group thing that was cool that can stay too. Seasons 4 and 5 would ideally consist of attempting to evade the police and interacting with the support group.  And controversial opinion probably but I think I’d end it with them getting caught or at least going on the run.

[helshades]

idk if you watch rupaul's drag race or have any interest in drag queens in general at all but opinions on this dress+the censoring of it on the show for ~bad taste~ reasons? (i find it gorgeous and smartly funny esp when the theme was "padded for the gods" i mean, you can't get more padded than that lmao. almost a feminist look/statement imo) instagram. com/p /BsUaPvenYcj/

I can appreciate the tongue-in-cheek literal-mindedness of the dress and the model makes an interesting comment about intent:

Nevertheless, such statement may be a pad, sorry, a tad misplaced considering the fact that exactly none of the participants in that reality show happens to be someone who could menstruate, and that there is more than one argument that could be weighed against drag-queens, of all artists, trying to make feminist statements, of all things…

In passing, I really wish people would retire from using the term ‘empowerment’ every five minutes about things that have nothing to do with this concept, which was coined to refer to marginalised people, usually in the Third World, chiefly women, gaining self-determination through economic and political means, aiming to become self-sufficient. Empowerment is a sociological concept rooted in Marxist theory, intertwined in the very basis of democracy—peoples’ right to govern themselves. In other words, we are rather far remote from putting on extravagant gowns to wriggle one’s equally padded arse in the face of people meant to elect one individual the best performer in a group of individuals obsessed with being gazed at admiringly for their looks.

One comment I found on Instagram about this post:

‘You’re absolutely fantastic. I would have loved to see this on the runway. This is not distasteful at all, it’s beautiful couture and art that normalizes an unfortunately shamed experience that many folks go through regularly. It is so important to honor and celebrate the bodies that inspire drag. It warms my heart the respect you bring for female-organed folk.’

‘Female-organed folk’. It is more than a little disheartening (though it doesn’t exactly surprise) to see ‘woman’ become a forbidden word amongst people who supposedly are all about celebrating the luxurious aspects of womanhood, and usually appear to crave femaleness—and not in the way a straight man would, longing for the otherness of femininity that complete his half of the heterosexual union… but, rather, here, femaleness as a template, woman as the typical object of man’s desires.

I am perhaps a divergent feminist—not like other girls!—inasmuch as I tend to regard femininity and masculinity as indissociable from womanhood and manhood, and necessary things, to a certain extent. On the other hand, I am not enough of a deviant yet that I might deem drag queen shows feminist. Drag attire, for all intents and purposes, is a caricature of femininity, whose ambivalence has often verged on the schizophrenic: at once an interesting parody of sexist beauty standards and… well, an uninhibited exploitation of the exact same thing, which, as it is being performed by the one sex that precisely isn’t subjected to such standards in civilian life, makes one wish dearly that men would find a more personal way to subvert canonical virility.

I have no doubt men can be feminists. Of this, a stellar example comes to mind with Doctor Denis Mukwege, the famous Congolese gynaecologist who received the Nobel Prize for Peace in 2018 for his remarkable work on healing women who were victims of genital mutilations. This is feminism—and it is noteworthy indeed that Dr. Mukwege’s help is not only surgical, but economic and judicial as well. This is feminism. A million-dollar reality show about men performing as images of exaggerated femininity? I don’t think so.

On the other hand… on the other hand, I do not happen to believe that not being feminist per se would be drag’s original sin. In fact, I happen to find it a very, very interesting play on masculinity, as no one, deep down, actually doubts the presence of a man, a male, under all that outrageous make-up, getup and beneath the exhilarating wigs. Only, on top of that default maleness, there is an exceptionally loud mask, like one of the painted personae of ancient theatre, never meant to hide oneself, but to show, on the contrary, the truth of the character behind. In more ways than one, drag costuming is a support for the expression of all emotions and sentiments that men are traditionally expected to reign in and dissimulate in order to perform virility.

Sharon Needles:

‘It can be perceived as misogynistic, and I can understand why, but I don’t think there’s any drag queen who intends it to be. Most drag queens dress up as super women, as an over exaggeration of the female form, because we like women, usually powerful women. I think that’s why we are so over exaggerated; we are an amplification of the women who empowered us in our youth. The most powerful woman I know is my mother, and she doesn’t wear any make up at all. We’re exaggerating the western consumerist culture that happens to plague women more than men; and thank god, because it’s so much prettier.’

Alaska Thunderfuck 5000:

‘Since I was a kid, I’ve always been skinny and frail framed. I felt powerless as a child, but I always saw so much power in femininity and female sexuality. I was always drawn to beautiful women. We don’t mock anything innate about femininity, but some of the trappings that come alongside.’

Sharon Needles:

‘Look at her, over there, look who you see in the mirror. When I’m fully done and look in there, the real you inside is pushed way back.’

(x)

At the end of the day, this is only a reality televised show where vulnerable people with self-esteem issues go to masquerade and parade because our society confuses personal success with fame and a controlled appearance of self-satisfaction. All it says is not said wittingly—but it never does mean that there is nothing to be said, I suppose.

[statierogers]

The new recruit - Bucky Barnes (Part 1)

Title: The New Recruit (Part1)

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: It’s Bucky’s new job to train (Y/N). They just really, really don’t like each other.

Words: 3’532

Warnings: Language

Genre: I don’t know. not really angsty nor really fluffy. Maybe something in between.

A/N: I went very overboard. So I put it into two parts.

My Masterlist

Your name: submit What is this?

(Y/N) - your first name

(Y/L/N) - your last name

- Katie xx

Part 2

"Okay, so her name is (Y/N)," Steve spoke and pointed at the file he had thrown o the coffee table, "and she is enhanced."

The Avengers, except Thor and Peter, sat spread out on the living room couches. Some on chairs, some on the floor and some occupied the two sofas. They usually held briefings in the meeting room, but they all had a long week behind them, so no one was in the mood for uncomfortable office chairs.

"You know we have met her before. She started her training two weeks ago," Clint said and chewed one of the Gummy Worms Sam brought by.

Most of the team nodded at his statement. Well, not Tony; he was typing away on his phone.

"She was at your birthday party last week," Natasha added and tried grabbing some of the sweets, but Sam knocked her hands away.

Steve rolled his eyes at his teammates. Having a serious meeting was impossible. They were acting like children. It already took him 2 days to find a day where everyone was available. He liked to include and ask the whole team for his pledge because he knew half of them would pretend o be busy and not do him this favour. And he could do what he really didn't want to do and choose Bucky for this task. He had the hunch that it was going to end like this. The rest of the team tended to not engage in the extra activity. It's weird how lazy a budge of superheroes could be when it wasn't about Thanos Level threats. Well, except for Peter, but he had no say in this or anything for that matter. He was still in training, and Steve had his hands full with that one. Also because Tony had taken him under his wing and kept on updating his suit. The kid loved trying out the new technologies. Peter was also in school at the moment. Which was more important. Oh, and Thor. He was somewhere. Well, he probably making decisions as a king or beating up some otherworldly being.

"Okay... yea, anyways. Well, I started training (Y/N), and she isn't really good at hand to hand combat," he explained, and now Steve also felt the sudden urge to grab a Gummy Wurm.

Sam gave him a look. Apparently, Falcon didn't enjoy people taking his food. Steve took his hand back slowly and gave him an apologetic look. In the end, it was Sam's own fault to bring his precious snacks to a room full of those guys.

"And what exactly is your question?" Tony, who finally put his phone away, asked.

Steve sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He stole an unsure glance at Bucky, who just sat on a chair with crossed arms. His face was a gruff mask. He stared at the picture of the young woman. Her smile seemed to be mocking Bucky, and he didn't like it. He didn't like her. Well, no, he did, but there was something about her that he hated. She got under his skin. She was just so reckless, sassy and straight up made stupid decisions all the time. But then she could just stand there looking so beautiful, being so funny and say something brilliant. And he hated that. He hated that he liked her and that she seemed to be the only woman that didn't put up with his shit.

"I need some help. I just can't get through to her," Steve sighed.

You could see in his friend's faces that they were looking for a way out. Their brains working for an excuse.

"And why do you need all of us here for that? The only people who seem to be able to help are Romanov, Clint and Icicle over there, and maybe Sam," Tony added. 

He nodded to the grumpy soldier, who just narrowed his eyes at him. Steve ignored them and looked with hopeful eyes to the two Ex SHIELD agents.

"Don't look at me. You know I can't get through to her either," Clint held up his hands in defence.

Steve sighed. Wanda furrowed her brows and looked between the guys, not wholly understanding their issue with (Y/N).

"Why exactly can't you get through to her?" Wanda wanted to know and made it quotes at the word through.

Steve blushed and looked at the floor. He hated admitting it, but she was just so adorable, he couldn't go hard on her. She just gave him one of those smiles, which she used to charm everyone's pants off, and he wouldn't be able to even near his fist her face. He knew she manipulated him so she could get out of training.

"She has those two guys wrapped around her pinky," Natasha smiled.

Clint narrowed his eyes at the redhead. Natasha knew all along. She had observed the men around her. All falling for the girl's coy act. Clint seemed like he was about to adopt her, and Steve looked at her like she was the most innocent woman ever. That girl was good at manipulating men. If she wanted to.

"Then you train her," Clint said and bumped her shoulder.

Natasha shook her head apologetically.

"I am knee-deep in Wanda's combat training," She shrugged her shoulders.

The women shared a look. Wanda didn't need to see into Natashas head to find out how she wanted this to play out. With Bucky training her. Vision tilted his head to the side. He seemed to have calculated something.

"It appears there is only one solution. It seems like most of us aren't really trained in this combat mode, except for James," Vision pitched in.

Bucky raised his head by the mention of his name. His posture suddenly turned stiff. He shook his head.

"No," he stated.

"Buck...," Steve started and reached his hand out in a comforting gesture.

He was interrupted by Bucky getting out of his chair. The usually so calm soldier seemed unsure now.  

"No, not going to happen," he added and pointed at Steve accusingly.

"But, it would help her. You are the only person that can get through to her," Steve said and jumped up as well.

What did that even mean? She was just a girl. Steve made a soothing gesture in his direction. The rest of the team watched them, intrigued. But they knew, they knew Bucky was irritated by (Y/N). It was no secret. Not even to her. She just enjoyed disagreeing with him. 

A humourless laugh left Bucky's lips, and he shook his head in disbelief. He didn't want to believe that Steve would suggest or even agree with this idea. 

"Are we talking about the same woman? She disagrees with me constantly," he said and pointed between himself and Steve.

Steve now also shook his head. That wasn't completely true, and Bucky knew it. 

"Are you sure? Every time she suggests something, you disagree with her," Sam added.

Sam was on her side, always. Also, because he and Bucky didn't agree on things either. They enjoyed bickering, but it was different. He knew Sam would have his back and that they were actual friends. With (Y/N), he was really not sure if she would just stab him if she got annoyed by him. Bucky opened his mouth and closed it again. There was no point in denying what Sam said, though. 

"That is because her ideas are stupid," he argued then anyways.

Steve was tired of this. Obviously, he knew that it would end in this argument. But Bucky ran away from her whenever he could. He knew that deep down, Bucky liked her. He just wasn't used to being challenged by a woman. She knew what she wanted, and she was headstrong, and Bucky hadn't met a lot of ladies like that. And maybe knowing her and exchanging more than those arguments with her would help him. 

"Do it for me, Bucky. She needs help. I can't do it. And she promised she would listen to you," Steve asked.

She never promised such a thing, but Steve hoped he would forget about that statement tomorrow. His resentment crumbled. Bucky needed some pushing. 

"Fine, I'll do it," he barked. 

Without another word, he stomped out of the room. The team's eyes followed his angry steps. 

"Seriously, that was easier than I thought," Tony said with a short nod.

Steve wouldn't say this was easy. He would hear Bucky complain for at least a month. 

"Steve, do you think this is a good idea? Letting those two train together?" Natasha asked him.

Steve crossed his arms defensively. No, he wasn't, not at all. He wasn't sure what the deal between those two was. They had only known each other for two weeks, but they didn't seem to like one another from day one. 

"No. But I didn't see you volunteer," he answered.

Natasha laughed and got off the chair elegantly. She didn't take Steve's defensiveness serious. To other people, he probably looked intimidating, but not to the Black Widow.

"Bucky is a freaking Drill Sargent, and you know it. And (Y/N) is just really stubborn. And lazy. A perfect combination," she mentioned and patted Steves' shoulder.

Sam tried to hide a laugh. Okay, she wasn't the only one who noticed.

"It's going to be fine," Steve said, his voice steady. 

But his face didn't seem so sure anymore. 

—

(Y/N) was ripped out of her sleep by someone pulling her blanket off.

"Get up, sleepyhead," a stern male voice said at the foot of her bed.

(Y/N) opened her eyes and was faced with a grumpy Bucky staring at her. The usually messy hair was tied to a bun at the nape of his neck. If it weren't this early, she would have stared at him and soaked in his attractive physic. She did that a lot. Stare at him. It's like her brain didn't want to, but her body had a mind of her own. Her eyes always travelled to him when he was in a room with her.

"Are you kidding? What time is it?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

Her head moved around, trying to spot her phone to look at the time.

"It's six a.m. You are already thirty minutes late," Bucky stated and stepped to her closet. 

"What are you talking about?" she asked and grabbed her phone from the nightstand.

It's not like she didn't trust him, but she needed to see the time herself. She spotted five texts and one call from Bucky. All of them urged her to get up or asked her where the hell she was. Stalker much? Where did he even get her number? 

"I told you yesterday, the morning run starts at 5.30 a.m., and then we train," he said.

She dropped her phone on the bed with frustration and turned to him. 

"I thought that was a joke," she whispered and then added with a louder voice, "what the hell are you doing?"

Bucky had opened her closet and started searching for something. How rude. Her underwear was in there.

"Looking for your training clothes," he said.

She frowned. Okay, Bucky was acting weird.

"I can dress on my own," she mumbled. 

Bucky turned around suddenly. He seemed to have found what he wanted and dropped it on her bed. Yoga pants, Tank top and running shoes. (Y/N) sat up and stared at him.

"Are you sure? Just as good as you can be on time?" he asked sarcastically. 

She wanted to slap that grin off his face. He always grinned at her like that. It seemed to be reserved for her. Bucky just liked being a pain in her ass.

"This isn't the freaking army, Barnes," she growled and stared at the pile.

It felt like she hadn't seen workout clothes in years. She didn't enjoy working out. This was weird for someone who wanted to become an Avenger. She knew she had to give her everything so they would take her fully into the team. 

"Doll, if this were the army, you would be calling me Sargent Barnes," he said with a cheeky smile.

Then he turned around to the door. (Y/N) hated how much swagger he had in his step.

"Five minutes," he added.

(Y/N) grabbed the shoe on the bed and threw it. But it only hit the door and not his head.

"Well, screw you, Sargent Barnes," she yelled.

Then she fell back on the bed and let out a frustrated groan. She was sure she heard a male laugh through the door.

Natasha told her that this would be exhausting. Being trained by Bucky. He would go hard on her. She said something about the military background and Hydra training. But these were the Avengers. She didn't even understand why she needed this training. She had powers. She could adapt abilities by touching. If she touched Steve, she was just as strong as him. When (Y/N) touched Spidy, she could crawl walls and so on. She just couldn't fight. She never inherits their skills.

—

"I hate you," she said to him about the 50th time today.

Her back landed on the matt again. And she was surprised it wasn't broken yet. 

"Your endurance as well as your upper body strength suck," he lectured her.

Bucky ignored her statement about hating him. She had mumbled it under her breath so many times he didn't feel the need to acknowledge it. (Y/N) huffed and stared at him reproachfully. Even now, she looked beautiful. Propped up on her elbows, covered in sweat with furrowed brows. She was pissed. At least she acted like it. She seemed to be angrier at herself for not getting it than at him. She did mess up a lot of the instructions he gave her. But she had potential. 

"If you let me use my powers, it wouldn't be this bad. I would get your super serum strength," (Y/N) mumbled and rubbed a hand over her face.

Bucky laughed and stretched a hand out to help her up. It was the gentleman in him. Something he never got entirely rid of over the years. He wasn't going soft on her, but he still had basic manners, like holding open the door and helping a woman up.

"Steve let you use your powers, didn't he?" Bucky asked her.

(Y/N) sighed and stretched her limps.

"He did, but it was easier. Because he is fucking strong. How am I supposed to beat someone like you?" she growled.

"Natasha does it every day," he pointed out.

(Y/N) stopped rubbing her sore neck and rolled her eyes.

"Yea, I know she is good at everything. Stupid perfect woman," she said.

Bucky knew what she was trying to do. It was not gonna work with him. She tried getting his reassurance. She was trying it for about the fifth time today. To get his sympathy. He only understood now what Steve meant. He was close to giving in. She gave him one of her innocent smiles, and if he didn't know what she was doing, he would have dropped everything then and there. 

"Doll, not gonna work. I'm not Steve. I won't let you use powers or get out of training," he said with a cheeky smile and raised brows.

(Y/N) dropped her head. She swore under her breath. Good, that girl swore like a pirate. And he found it slightly endearing.

"Screw you," she said, "Sargent Barnes."

She placed her hands on her hips and huffed.

"In position," he laughed, "Recruit."

---

"No, she can't. She isn't ready yet. She wouldn't last five minutes in the field," Bucky said and puffed his chest out. 

This was new for (Y/N) to see Bucky was always the one making himself smaller than he was. He didn't want to be seen. Or to seem less dangerous. But not now. He stood next to her chair with his legs firmly placed and his Arms crossed. Not with his hips jolted out. She had noticed the difference between Bucky Barnes and Sargent James Buchanan Barnes. She liked Bucky better.

"Are you sure? I need another asset," Steve said and looked between her and Bucky.

(Y/N) seemed furious. Bucky didn't believe she was ready for the mission. And he told Steve, in front of everyone. She felt embarrassed and humiliated. 

"Yes, she isn't good enough yet," Bucky then said.

Or Sargent Bucky. She looked up at him. He only spared her a glance. She thought to see something that resembles regret. But then he looked away. So she let her eyes travel over the Avengers. All of them looked at her with pity. Without another word, she got up from her chair. She didn't feel the need to argue. Because the worst part was Bucky was right. It had been two months, and she still didn't learn it. Her head was held high as she stepped past the soldier and out of the door. She needed a drink.

"(Y/N)," Bucky yelled behind her.

He must have noticed that she was upset, but she continued walking. She didn't wanna see his face right now. She would punch it most likely.

"Wait," Bucky then said and grabbed her hand.

 He had caught her just when she stepped foot into the kitchen. He grabbed her wrist to stop her. (Y/N) Spun around to the brunette man. If her look could kill someone, he would be dead. Very dead. 

"Look, we'll train more. And then you can go on missions. I promise you. I just don't want you to go out there unprepared. Something could happen," Bucky tried to explain.

"I can do it. Why do I need this training? I could just get Wanda's power and use it in the field," she yelled.

Her eyes were fixed on his hand gripping her wrist. It was his metal arm; she was never bothered by it. She actually liked when it touched her while training. It cooled her down.

"You don't get it. What if you are in the field and none of us is near. I know the power manipulation doesn't hold for long. What if you are somewhere with no superpowered human? You are useless," he grunted.

He hated her stubbornness. Why couldn't she just listen like Steve promised him she would. Training her was exhausting because she didn't want to train. If she would actually put effort into it, she would be better. 

(Y/N) gave him a look, and a sudden urge overtook her. She wanted to show him that she could beat him. She wasn't useless. She had survived without his help for so long, so she didn't need him now.  

"Oh yeah?" she asked, and with that, she stretched out her other hand and touched his forehead.

Her skin touched his, and he felt a sudden rush go through him. Like something was pulling on him. And it wasn't because he touched her. Before he could register what she was doing, she had turned her hand so that she was gripping his arm, spun around and flipped him over her shoulder. Bucky landed on his back next to one of the kitchen chairs. Her left boot on his chest. She gave him defining smile. She had stolen his power. Well, he still had it, but they were equal now. His mouth opened slightly and closed again. What just happened? 

"Sorry? What was that about being useless?" she asked teasingly. 

Okay, if she was going to play it like that. Without warning, he kicked his foot against her other leg. She lost her balance, and Bucky rolled out from under her left foot. He jumped to his feet and stood opposite of her. They stared at each other. Both of them were in a defensive position. He couldn't help but notice that it looked exactly how he taught her. Not bad.

"Oh, Doll. You really wanna do this?" he asked her with a small smile. 

(Y/N) Didn't feel the need to answer. She just stormed in his direction and threw a fist at him. He caught it midair and held it in his palm. And he felt the force she used to hit him. That was his strength in her. He spun her around. The girls back was pressed against his chest. He had one arm pinned to her chest and the other around her neck, where he applied light pressure. He could smell her perfume and feel her rapid breathing. 

"You would be dead just about now," he mumbled into her ear. 

"Not so much," she grunted and stomped her heel to his foot. Bucky let her go in shock.

Bucky realised now this was different. This wasn't like training. They were fighting, and she was intent on winning. (Y/N) spun around, and then she grabbed a vase and threw it at him. He ducked it in shock while it shattered against the white wall behind him. She was angry. This wasn't fun for her. Bucky felt bad for a split second, then he remembered that none of this was his fault. Slowly he got up from his position. He studied her face. (Y/N)'s eyes looked more like slits and not as bright as usual.

"Have I  ever told you how insane you are?" he mumbled.

She huffed out air from her nose. They stared at each other for another second before both of them fully charged at each other. 

--

"Au," (Y/N) moaned while Bruce stitched up the cut on her forehead. 

He wasn't feeling sorry for her, that much she could see. She sat at one of the barstools. The one that was still standing. With a bruised lip and a cut on her forehead. But she still had Bucky's ability, so she did already feel it healing. Bucky sat on another chair where Tony was fixing his metal arm, where she rammed a knife into. It had gotten out of hand really fast. Some of the decor in the room was broken, while Bucky and (Y/N) were both hurt. And (Y/N) felt like a madwoman. She wasn't sure what came over her. She was just so angry, and Bucky being Bucky made it worse. And now, she felt ashamed. She needed to apologise to Bucky, and she hated that.

"Normal people just have sex to blow off their steam, but you try to kill each other," Sam said as he cleaned up some shards. 

"We didn't try to kill each other," (Y/N) mumbled, her eyes cast down.

She hissed when Bruce knotted the thread. Great, that would scar. She didn't dare to look at the former Winter Soldier. But she heard Tony's tool shut off.

"You two need to clean this and get this issue between you out of the way," Tony said, pointing at them.

The rest of the Avengers left the room quietly. (Y/N) gave Bucky a shy look. He seemed just as embarrassed as her. So she decided to start. 

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, just as Bucky said the same.

Bucky looked up at her. He studied her face for a second before he got up and took a careful step closer. Only now (Y/N) noticed that she could hear his heartbeat, courtesy of his own power. It was steady and slow. 

"Look, I know you are frustrated that you can't go on missions yet. I am not refusing it because I want to hurt you, quite the opposite, actually. I don't want you to go out there and hurt yourself. I want you to be ready and be able to take care of yourself," he explained slowly. 

(Y/N) stopped playing with her fingers and raised her head with a sigh. She hopped off the chair and met Bucky in the middle.

"I know," she said, "I am sorry I threw a plate at you."

Bucky laughed, and it was like music to her ears. This wasn't new. She always enjoyed his laugh. 

"You know, sometimes I wonder why we fight so much," he then said.

(Y/N) joined his laugh and decided to just be helpful for a second. She grabbed a broom and continued sweeping.

"I think it is actually because we are very alike," she told him and shrugged. 

Bucky shook his head at her and started placing the chairs upright. He couldn't believe what she was saying. (Y/N) was very different from him. She was pure. As stupid as it sounded, she was. Her heart was good, and she loved people with all her heart. She lived in the sun, while Bucky was a man with a dark past and a jumbled memory.

"No, we disagree constantly," he said.

(Y/N) was about to be annoyed with him, but then she saw his wink and knew he was joking. And then she laughed. This was weird. Bucky and her joking. 

"Funny," she commented.

"I can be fun if I want to," he said with a cheeky smile. 

(Y/N) shook her head over the man's behaviour. And even if she didn't want it to, a genuine smile slipped on her lips. She watched him for a second. Maybe she and Bucky could have fun as well and not just fight. 

"Are you staring at me?" Bucky suddenly asked her and lifted his head.

She tried covering her blush, but not so lucky. 

"Uhm, no... Just continue cleaning," she mumbled and concentrated on her sweeping.

[hufflepuffhummingbird]

Some Thoughts On OITNB Season 5

So there will be a lot of spoilers so be warned.

In general this season felt pretty disorganized and I felt like it took on way too many characters and plots than they could handle. I think the tone has been pretty off too. When I watched the trailer I was so excited because it looked like the show had taken the step to get darker and more focused. But the show didn’t, they tried to fit in just as much comedy as last season which didn't fit the tone given how dire of a situation a prison riot is.  I think a lot of issues also came from trying to dig themselves out of the hole of season 4. First of all, I think they handled Poussey’s death badly. (I mean I’m upset she died in the first place) I felt a lot of the way it was handled was more of an insult to the Black Lives Matter movement instead of a tribute, mostly because of the way the world of OITNB’s media reacted to it. In the show the media was going to try to make Bailey look dangerous and the villain in the story, which NEVER happens to the police officers who kill innocent people. The media never portrays these murders as monsters, the victim is almost always vilified. I find it not a reflection of our realty for them to make a statement about Bailey being unjustly vilified. What also makes this harder is the fact that Bailey actually didn't try to kill her and spends all of season 5 moping around about it. These scenes are repetitive and uncomfortable, and don't seem to find any reasonable conclusion. It makes it doubly frustrating when Taystee risks so much of the entire prisons future on this one request. I don’t blame Taystee as a character for this and I personally feel that her character and her arc was the most compelling of the entire season, I understand why she feels this way and fights for it. It’s just hard as an audience member to root for her cause with the show constantly trying to guilt us about how Bailey feels all the time. This makes the final negotiation loss because of her one request as much more unnecessarily frustrating than tragic. This was the major plot line I had issues with but here are some others.

- ALL OF THE RAPE JOKES

As a progressive show OITNB should NOT constantly allude to rape being funny if it’s to a man. Look at a situation OITNB supposedly finds funny if the gender roles are switched.

Imagine a male inmate getting the tip of his finger cut off and then threatens a female guard held hostage to cut off her finger tip to replace it. The female guard in hopes of somehow escaping this mutilation offers to give him a hand-job in hopes of distracting him to find an escape. What ensures is a *hilarious* scene where she’s jerking him off and one of the inmates friends mocks him for having his first orgasm. After this, the two men are talking and the one getting the hand job asks the other if the female officer was actually into it or was just trying to escape. The male prisoner responds with, “Nah, I’ve raped woman before and she seemed into it”. This line is played off as a laugh. 

This is one specific example, but there are sooo many more. The entire season many female characters were harassing the male guards and threatening to rape or sexually assault them and these were played as laughs.

- TRYING TO MAKE DOGGETT  BE “CUTE” WITH HER RAPIST

This is so awful to watch and just horrifying that the writers have taken this path. I can’t look at these two being cute without thinking about the brutal scene last season where he rapes her. I don’t know why the writers keep pushing this but it needs to stop.

- PISCATELLA’S PLOT LINE AND BACKROUND

Okay so I felt the writers wanted to make him a psychopath so they can do the torture scene, but it doesn't make any sense. He was an asshole before this season but never this bad, and this insane plan to capture Red’s closest friends and torture them and her seemed out of nowhere. I thought that his flashbacks would make more sense out of this but it actually made it more confusing. I don’t think it makes Piscatella a psychopath to murder his lover’s rapist. I mean yeah that scene was fucked up, but I mean how many times have we seen a flashback to an inmate murdering someone for raping or wronging someone they loved, or for wronging themselves? Just a few examples,

- Miss Claudette murdering a man for sexually assaulting one of her girls who worked for her.

- Norma murdering her abusive husband

- Frieda also presumingly murdering her husband

- Chang straight up murdering a dude for calling her ugly

I mean heres the thing, none of these women are portrayed as psychopaths so I don’t think this is a good enough justification for Piscatella being one. 

(Another sidetone about his death that annoyed me, it’s super small but like, they literally shot him in the head and then one of the guards announced he’s not breathing, like duh)

- MY OPINION ON PIPER

I know it’s a thing that everyone hates Piper or whatever, and she can be annoying but after this season I think I figured out why her presence is so off on the show. I think it’s because we don’t need her anymore. Piper was useful as a character in the beginning of the show because she is in a lot of ways a catalyst for the audience, and this role is outgrown and not necessary anymore for the audience watching the show. I mean I’m gonna assume the majority of OITNB’s audience has not been to prison before and has no idea what it’s actually like to be in one. Piper is in some ways us, a newcomer into Litchfield that has no idea who anyone is or how anything works. She was the gate for the audience to enter Litchfield, and get to know the characters and surroundings. As the seasons go on however, the audience knows every character and the usual dynamics of the prison. Thus Piper’s role is now unnecessary and awkward in dynamics with the other prisoners, she doesn’t really have a place. Her story isn’t really compelling anymore since it already got explored, I think the only thing left to keep going with her is Alex, which I think the creators understood this season, pretty much all of her plot was about her and Alex’s relationship. Although their arguing is pretty petty and repetitive, their ending was cute and it reminded me why I liked them together in the first place. I don’t really know how they’re gonna move forward with her character but we’ll see. 

-LEAVE SUZANNE ALONE

Seriously, can they give her a break??? How much more abuse does she have to go through?? I also am getting annoyed that they’ve been using her condition to conveniently have her freak out to complicate situations for plot purposes. I think it’s getting old, and just give the poor girl a break. 

- SEEING SO MUCH OF THE NAZIS

Okay this season had way too many characters to juggle and the first ones to go should of been the Nazis, it was extremely uncomfortable to see the writers try to make them likable and funny. Especially since it was off of jokes about things like poisoning jews. There are so many better characters to see, my last point being... 

- SOPHIA BEING WRITTEN OUT SO EARLY

Can I say anymore? I really wanted to see more of her this season.

This season did have it’s good moments tho

-The video vlogs, amazing

- Litchfield Idol was hilarious

- Red on speed was great

-The doctor was so refreshingly nice and funny

- The makeovers were fantastic

-TAYSTEE, JUST WOW. Danielle Brooks gave an amazing performance. Everytime she speaks is with so much passion and heart, her moments and speeches always made me cry. I hope the writers do her so much justice. She is so incredibly smart, charismatic, and brave, I will be thoroughly disappointed if she doesn't succeed. I hope these riots weren't for nothing because she deserves so much better than that. I hope her character eventually gets into politics once she gets out of prison, I believe she has a real potential to change the world.