#like i think that was the moment crowley discovered his first kink

[allhallowstiel]

alright if no one else is gonna say it i will. crowley looked unbearably horny when he made aziraphale try human food. i have never seen such powerful carnal desire ever in the history of television.

[mrscakeishere]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Beta reviews!

"Oddly sexy!" "Found this weirdly heartwarming!" "Don't sully that monkey!"

Polychrome (@polychromicron-persei-8) and I are kicking off the Polycakes Rotary International Collaborative Korporation (PRICK) (aka our smut and other goofy collabs) with an Ode to Eclairs (Rated Explicit, 3104 words).

It's our happy NYE weekend gift to you all and our precursor to the @goodomensafterdark smut war coming up January 8th.

Summary and excerpt below! CW: NSFW

An Ode to Eclairs

When Aziraphale and Crowley’s love life gets a little stale, they decide to spice things up with a sexy phone call. Turns out, communication isn’t their strong suit.

Crowley sat next to his phone and thought about Shakespeare. He and the great playwright had been wrong in 1601. While age may not wither Aziraphale, the custom of once-a-week-vanilla-sex-Wednesdays had indeed begun to stale and an infinite variety of intimacy was much needed. He had brought this up to Aziraphale—although not in such eloquent words[1]—and they had agreed to investigate their options and try something new. 

Aziraphale had done all the research, as usual, and after discovering a broad array of kinks and other intimate hijinks, had settled on phone sex. For one thing, it was cheap; there weren't any props to buy, equipment to assemble, or web cameras to set up (or computers to learn for that matter). For another thing, Aziraphale and Crowley had both agreed that it sounded like the simplest activity to try. All it required was talking about sex. No awkward attempts at unusual positions or knowledge about how to appropriately tie a knot. 

What they probably should have considered, however, was that talking—and conversation in general—was not their strong point as a couple. But Crowley wasn’t thinking about that at the moment. He was thinking about what his first words should be, and they had to be good.

[1] In actuality, following several misguided attempts at subtlety, Crowley had simply stated the obvious: “I think we need to have better sex.”

Read on at AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52581016

[totallyimagines]

Owari no Seraph with a Masochist S/O

First of all, he gets to call the shots. He’s probably just hasn’t discovered it yet but he wants to be the “leader” in the bedroom. Although, he finds it so hot though that you get off like that because he can say anything about you and you take it because your so turned on.

He can’t help but laugh at that actually. He won’t push it to far though, it doesn’t make him feel that good when he talks about you that way so this actually can be kind of awkward for him.

He doesn’t talk much during sex at all, and sometimes he would want you to take the lead. So this is actually quiet of a downside in the bedroom for him. So don’t push this on him at all. I’m sure this won’t lead to any pleasure for both of you if you do.

Also, you’ll probably have to ease this into him if you do. But to admit this if your pretty shy, then he likes toying with you. Just kind of his thing, he gets pleasure off of seeing you be shy during sex.

She’s personally all for this, she’ll like that you get off on your own pain and humiliation. She seems to like doing that to you especially if your shy. She can’t seem to hold herself back. Your begging for it so why not just go at it.

I can see her bringing any kink she wants into the realtionship too, speaking of you like pain and humalition so she’s going to give that to you.

Crowley would love this, he’s getting off on this too. He seems to know the right things to say to that have you all over him. This just plays into him so well, he just finds much pleasure in the humiliation play.

I think he would like if you were shy a lot too in the bedroom. Seems to get him off as well, you hiding away for him. He also wants to see how loud you can get as you try to keep yourself quiet. He can help but tease.

This also plays very well with him, he likes humiliation and the way you get off at it just gets him riled up to the fullest actually. Especially, if your just now showing this side and the bedroom. He likes it when he can just fill you up to the brim and talk about how dirty you are for liking it. And that arouses you incredible

He’s for the pain part to, seeing how you stay aroused when your in pain. That shyer side of you, is just amusing. You hide but your so aroused.

He finds this truly surprising, your so aroused from him down talking you and he was just caught up in the moment. Seeing how your every reaction to anything he says. He’ll tease every bit of you seeing how this turns you on. He can’t help it, your cute expression only cheers him on.

Pain? He just thinks of it as roughhousing actually or just him manhandling you nothing much to it.(you’ll probably need to tap out.)

Oh, so your a masochist? He’s got a lot for you. You think you deserve what’s he’s got in store for you think again. He’s so interested the humiliation though. He’ll spread your legs only to tell you how needy and filthy your being, but only for him. He likes the submissiveness this play into too. He can toy with you all he likes and you still want to get railed by him after he said the most flithest shit.

He’ll just bite you if you want pain, lots of biting and maybe some wax play if you want to be more intimate with that. Seeing as this turns you.

He’s really nervous during sex and he falls more into the submissive side sometimes wanting you to take the lead. So I’m not sure your “humiliation and pain kink” needs will actually get satisfied. Although, I’m sure he’s a masochist too. He seems to like when you talk dirty to him and play and tease him.

So if your a masochist, you’ve got a masochist in the making right here.

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Alpha/Beta/Omega

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 The Songbirds of Avebury Manor by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley) Rated:  Explicit Words:  18237 Tags: Omega Verse, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Omega Draco Malfoy, Alpha Harry Potter, Class Differences, Soulmates, Sexual Tension, Mating Cycles/In Heat, First Time, Knotting, Implied Mpreg, Victorian Attitudes, Well sort of Victorian attitudes, Like Victorian attitudes except A/B/O, It makes sense in context I swear Summary:  Harry Potter presents as alpha at fifteen, and it is supposed to change his life for the better. Instead, it leads him to a beautiful noble omega he cannot have, a political plot he cannot escape, and a threat on his life. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Dissident by Constance1 Rated:  Explicit Words:  182162 Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Creature Fic, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, nundu, Angst, Romance, Dubious Consent, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Violence, Knotting, dark at times, but not really, Some fluffy moments too, Mpreg, Falling In Love, Omega Harry, Alpha Draco Malfoy, Drama, Claustrophobia, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Protective Draco Malfoy, Animagus, Christmas Summary:  In a world of Alphas and Omegas, Harry is surprised to discover that he is a rare male Omega. He assumes his pull towards Draco Malfoy is because the Slytherin is an Alpha, but there is more at play here than even Harry knows. My own twist on the Alpha/Omega-verse. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Work to be done by PollyWeasley Rated:  General Words:  1145 Tags: 2 years later, Slice of Life, alpha council Summary:  Harry has to be away from his family to help other family, but his heart is still with his loved ones. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Embers by shiftylinguini Rated:  Explicit Words:  41216 Tags: Post-Hogwarts, First Time, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Draco Malfoy, Omega Harry Potter, Werewolves, Heat Companion Harry Potter, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Masturbation, Knotting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Scent Marking, Scent Kink, Come Marking, Dirty Talk, sexual negotiation, H/D Career Fair 2017 Summary:  Werewolf Alphas aren't meant to be alone, or to suppress their ruts indefinitely like Draco has been since he was bitten eight years ago. He needs company, companionship, to knot ― he needs an Omega Heat Companion. At least, that’s what the Healers say, and even Draco can admit contacting the person they’ve referred him to might be nice. Of course it turns out to be bloody Potter. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Broken Heart (It Kens Nae Second Spring) by grahamhannah53 Rated:  Explicit Words:  18220 Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, omega!Draco, alpha!Harry, Auror Harry Potter, Undercover Missions, Smut, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anal Sex, Rimming, Knotting, abnormal rut behavior, we hate the dursleys, Angst with a Happy Ending, except the happy ending is in the next part of the series Summary:  Harry Potter is an Auror, just like he'd always wanted to be... except no one will give him a mission. When he finally gets one (with Draco Malfoy's name on it), he almost wishes he hadn't. Malfoy is everything Harry hadn't expected him to be, and out of the shambles of Harry's common sense arises a friendship that threatens to be more. Can Harry keep his mission secret from Malfoy? And even if he can do that, is it even possible for him to keep his hands off of Malfoy when he offers to help Harry through a rut after learning that Harry is exceptionally aggressive and violent during them? +++++ I have already completed this fic, I will be posting once, maybe twice weekly, depending on how well-received it is! I am also working on the second part, and have it half-way written. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Second Spring by grahamhannah53 Rated:  Explicit Words:  19629 Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, alpha!Harry, omega!Draco, Mates, Getting Back Together, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anal Sex, Rimming, Light Bondage, BAMF Draco Malfoy, BAMF Harry Potter, Implied Mpreg, Making Up, Unspeakable Draco Malfoy, Head Auror Harry Potter Summary:  Years after their disastrous breakup, Draco Malfoy comes back from France with a much sought-after skill set and a brilliant resume-- one that even Harry Potter could envy. Harry resolutely decides that staying away from Draco is the best option, forcing himself to resist the almost magnetic pull to his mate in favor of carrying on with life as normal... but when Draco ends up in his interrigation room in the middle of his heat, things get... dicey. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Puppy Breath and Money by GeorgeOaks Rated:  Explicit Words:  18802 Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Harry Potter, Omega Draco Malfoy, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Please Don't Hate Me, Abused Draco Malfoy, nothing graphic happens, Healing, A healing fic, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Omega Hurt, Tags May Change, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Draco Maloy is conditioned, Allusions to rape and being controlled, Protective Harry Potter, Respectful Harry Potter, going into heat, It's not as dark as it sounds?, he gets better and starts calling people names again, Dobby (Harry Potter) Lives, Fred Weasley Lives Summary:  Harry Potter had spent the last three years terrified for Draco Malfoy. Everyone knew what it meant when Malfoy didn't return to Hogwarts for his fifth year. Harry had done a spectacular job at denying it at first, of course. Tried convincing himself that it was just because Voldemort was back. That the Malfoys probably just ran off with their Dark Lord, or, what he had hoped most, had run away from him. It wasn't until Hermione gave him that look that said that if he didn't pull his head out of his arse soon, he was going to be absolutely hit upside the head, that he had to accept it. Malfoy hadn't returned to school because Draco Malfoy had presented Omega. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A Late Presentation by SouthronWildling Rated:  Explicit Words:  10661 Tags: AU Canon Divergence, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Severus Snape Lives, PWP, First Times, light dub-con due to a/b/o dynamics Summary:  Draco Malfoy presents as an omega during his Hogwarts Eighth Year. Shameless PWP, with a little humor, a little fluff, and a little of Draco being bitchy. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Malfoy's Bitch by dragontara Rated:  Explicit Words:  6668 Tags: Creature Fic, dub-con, Graphic Sex, Knotting, Alpha/Omega, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Top Draco, translation in Chinese available Summary:  Bitten by a werewolf doesn't always mean that you'll transform into a werewolf but it definitely increases your animalistic instincts and behaviour. Harry will learn that at first hand. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Heat of the Heart by carpemermaid Rated:  Explicit Words:  6433 Tags: Mildly Dubious Consent, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Draco Malfoy, Alpha Harry Potter, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Auror Partners, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Draco Malfoy, Werewolf Draco Malfoy, Light Dom/sub, Bottom Draco, Top Harry Potter, Seduction, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Masturbation, Fingerfucking, Blow Jobs, Rough Sex, Marathon Sex, Stubble Burn, Accidental Marriage, Accidental Bonding, Love Bites, Cuddling & Snuggling, Romance, Dirty Talk, Scenting, hung harry Summary:  Draco was recently bitten by a werewolf in the line of duty as an Auror. He'd been dealing with it as best he could, but then his first heat came on hot and fast in the middle of filling out reports with his Auror partner, Harry Potter. Luckily for him, Potter has a knack for saving his arse. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Tuxedo Angel by ryslora Rated:  Explicit Words:  25497 Tags: Mildly Dubious Consent, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Dark Magic, Mpreg, Crossdressing, Genderbending, HP: EWE, Case Fic, Community: hd_holidays, Torch Singer, Singing, Harry Thinks Malfoy Is Up To Something, Bonding, Cursed Bond, Old Magic, Living Together Summary:  Harry and Neville are looking for the infamous Dragon Lily, a Dark witch active throughout Europe and Asia. Instead, they find the Tuxedo Angel, a beautiful witch performing in Rome. Harry quickly discovers that the Angel is not what she seems, and fights his attraction to her, while both he and the Angel are drawn into a web created by ancient magic that pulls them together, whether they are ready for it or not. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Rise Above the Moon by Queenie_Mab Rated:  Explicit Words:  15930 Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Verse, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Pack Feels, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Knotting, Explicit Sexual Content, Illustrated, Bottom Draco, Bottom Harry, Topping from the Bottom, Switching Summary:  It's not easy to make a living when your past misdeeds colour your life, but when the saviour of the wizarding world offers a possible way out, Draco Malfoy isn't stupid enough to let the opportunity pass. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Turn, Drop, Fall by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley) Rated:  Explicit Words:  29056 Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Draco Malfoy, Alpha Harry Potter, Mildly Dubious Consent, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Arranged Marriage, Infidelity?, Brief scenes of heterosexuality, (sorry) Summary:  In his father's world of staunch traditions and strict gender dynamics, presenting as an omega is the worst thing that could happen to Draco, although accidentally bonding to Harry Potter and being forced into a marriage with Antonin Dolohov both come in close second. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Mine To Own, Ours To Keep by bumble_Bree Rated:  Explicit Words:  69033 Tags: Alternate Universe, Alpha Harry, Omega Draco, Bottom Draco, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Licking, beastiality, Wolves, alpha/beta/omega, Smut, Porn, Rough Sex, Mpreg, Knotting, Fluff, Romance, Heat Cycles, Miscarriage, Younger Draco, Delicate Draco, Powerful Harry, Self-Lubrication, facesitting, Love, Felching, Child Birth (non-graphic), Lactation, Male Lactation, Dry Orgasming, Oral Sex, Lactation Kink, Fisting, Size Difference, Smaller Draco, Larger Harry Summary:  When Draco is bought at a slave market, he fully expects a difficult road ahead of him. What he does NOT expect is to find himself in a world unlike any he could have expected - a world where the feared and respected Harry Potter is his Alpha, his one true soulmate. Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of J.K.Rowling and Bloomsbury and I seek no profit from this work. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 What Happened to Draco Malfoy by ghostlynimbus Rated:  Explicit Words:  43053 Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Harry, Omega Draco Malfoy, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Healing, Auror Ron Weasley, Sex Trafficked Draco Malfoy, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Unreliable Narrator, POV Alternating, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Pregnant Draco Malfoy, gratuitous use of wandless magic, medical/hospital scenes, Knotting, Overstimulation, Hung Harry Potter, Praise Kink, maybe? a little, Dubious Consent, kind of, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Angst, Rimming Summary:  Draco Malfoy has been missing since the end of the war. Harry has moved on, mostly. But when, years later, Draco is found in an auror raid of an illegal omega trafficking ring both their lives are changed. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 in heat by M0stlyVoid Rated:  Explicit Words:  4196 Tags: Past Rape/Non-con, Minor Character Death, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Draco Malfoy, Alpha Harry Potter, Masturbation, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Hung Harry Potter, Knotting Summary:  Draco’s been getting by just fine despite his unfortunate little genetic gift. Until Potter decides to barge in and muck everything up, that is. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Let Out the Beast by acupforslytherin Rated:  Explicit Words:  9649 Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Scent Kink, Explicit Consent, Self-Lubrication, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Professor Harry Potter, Professor Draco Malfoy, Alpha Draco Malfoy, Omega Harry Potter, Top Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry Potter, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, H/D Sex Fair 2020 Summary:  In the wizarding world where alphas are looked down upon for their lack of control and unseemly aggression, it is generally accepted that they are not allowed to work in places like schools and hospitals where their nature could risk the people there. When Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up at Hogwarts smelling strongly like an alpha, Harry is beyond baffled. The fact that no one else seems to catch his scent only adds to his confusion. But, of course, the most puzzling part is how Harry’s body reacts to that scent. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 This Is How by bixgirl1 Rated:  Explicit Words:  6508 Tags: Friends to Lovers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Harry Potter, Omega Draco Malfoy, Scenting, Claim Biting, switch POV, Partial Second Person POV, Falling In Love, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Oral Sex, Knotting Summary:  Omegas are long gone, or so everyone thinks. This is not how things were supposed to go. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Silver Moon by JBankai89 Rated:  Explicit Words:  58199 Tags: Werewolves, Werewolf Harry, Alpha Harry, Top Harry, Bottom Draco, Slightly Dark Harry, questionable morals, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, dubcon, Fluffy Ending, Violence, Mild Blood and Gore, Drama, Soulmate elements, Harry raises Teddy Summary:  Five years after the war, peace has fallen upon the wizarding world. Draco Malfoy has begun to find peace in the strangest of places, and now as a junior Potions Master after a mere four years, he finds his mind quieted from the horrors that scar his world in the deep and dark of the forests, where he goes to collect ingredients his master requires. Unfortunately, one trek into the woods brings him close to werewolf territory, too close, in fact, and he finds himself captured. He expected to be devoured by these brigands, but the truth of his fate turns out to be far more confusing and terrifying than he ever imagined. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 you killed me on the moon by epsilonargus Rated:  Explicit Words:  4906 Tags: Alpha Draco Malfoy, Omega Harry Potter, King Harry Potter, Top Draco Malfoy, Identity Reveal, True Mates, Attraction, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Captive Prince Fusion, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, H/D Sex Fair 2020 Summary:  ‘You barely know me. We do not know each other.’ ‘Beyond this overwhelming need to submit to you, completely and utterly?’ Potter raises his eyebrows, stretching his scar. ‘Beyond this bone-deep awareness that you are made for me, and I for you? That our destiny was written in the stars, in the very foundation of our known world?’ An A/B/O Royalty!AU wherein a desperate Slytherin prince faces a proposal from the conquering Gryffindor king. ❤️ Read on AO3

[oopshidaisyy]

August Fic Recs

a love song for schrödinger by patho With his own two eyes Carlos has observed a house that empirically doesn’t exist. He’s never seen a quantum particle, but his computer models and lab readouts reassure him of their presence. Cecil – lovely and wonderful and strange Cecil – is comforting and solid in every way…except in Carlos’ peripheral vision, when his edges waver as though the lack of direct observation has left him unsure of what shape he should be. It means absolutely nothing, to see a thing in Night Vale. Carlos/Cecil, 2k, T Note: achingly lovely

Easy Open by Helenish “So you and Hunt are a package deal these days,” Bryson says. “Uh,” Benji says, jerking his head up from his computer, ballpoint in his mouth. Benji/Ethan, 6k, M Note: i read this at least once a month and it’s just,, so wonderful

Four-Letter Words by idiopathicsmile  Prompt: "humiliation kink by way of compliment, Aziraphale gets Crowley hot and bothered by accusing him of goodness." Aziraphale/Crowley, 3k, M Note: i still remember getting the email notification for this one and being like “exactly what i want?? from one of my favourite writers??? what a concept”

and if sun comes by susiecarter Post-JL: Steppenwolf isn't interested in accepting defeat and walking away. Superman's proven that he's the key to conquering Earth, and Steppenwolf returns with a plan for how to deal with him. A plan that Bruce is able to throw a wrench into—but not without certain unintended consequences. Clark/Bruce, 30k, E Note: it’s involuntary soul-bonding and it’s so good it makes me want to cry

Richie Tozier: The Manchild Tour by hellotailor The Manchild Grows Up: An interview with comedian Richie Tozier, November 2019. “Everyone in this industry either has a pill habit, or they can’t hold a relationship together for more than two months," Tozier explains. "Or they spend 16 hours a day arguing with people on Twitter. Best case scenario is you find a way to be reasonably well-adjusted about your desperate need for strangers to laugh at you.” Richie/Eddie, 3k, T

In This Cold Heart by pineapplecrushface The future Richie sees while he's caught in the deadlights gives him a chance to save Eddie. In the year afterward, they both try to follow Stan's advice. Richie/Eddie, 16k, E

want to feel something again (won’t you help me) by susiecarter Damn, this chick just won't give up. Harley/Diana, 6k, M Note: this pairing seems like it shouldn’t work but then it just...does?? and it’s incredible?? and somehow everything i needed???

come into my parlour by arriviste  After the revolution failed, Grantaire became Enjolras's keeper. Enjolras/Grantaire, 8k, T

a tree that has not blossomed (yet) by susiecarter An accident involving a Kryptonian device meddled with by Lex Luthor sends Bruce forward, into a future that must not—cannot—be his own. Because sure, Clark's joined the Justice League. Clark's willing to work with Bruce to save the world. Clark's even forgiven him for what he once tried to do. But that doesn't mean they're going to—that doesn't make it plausible that they'd ever be—that they would get married. Clark/Bruce, 8k, T

there was no sacred place by firstaudrina It's in the moment between wishing and knowing that Lestat realizes the approaching figure is Louis. Lestat/Louis, 1k, Not Rated

afterparty (aftermath) by thingswithwings Tony's kissing everyone tonight, or at least everyone who'll let him. Bruce/Tony (+ with a little Tony/everyone), <1k, T

talk to me by theappleppielifestyle “I was offering to talk dirty to you so you’d stop thinking I was such a stick in the mud.” Tony considers. Steve’s from the 40s, he assumes dirty talk back then wasn’t as graphic as it is today. “Go ahead.” Steve cocks his head at him, lets his gaze linger on Tony’s mouth and the exposed collarbone before saying, “Sometimes when you’re doing tune-ups on your armour I think about stripping you out of it and fucking you against the desk in your workshop until you scream for me.” "Holy god," Tony hears himself say, and Steve grins before continuing. Steve/Tony, 1k, E

Convenient Husbands by Annie D "It's only temporary, right?" Dean says. "Just until you're healed up, and then we'll never have to see each other again. So what do you say, Castiel, do you want to marry me or not?" Dean/Cas, 39k, E

The Missionary Position by matchsticks Ethan and Benji have to pretend to be a married couple for a mission. Well, Ethan and Benji are already a married couple, but now they have to pretend to be pretending to be a married couple for a mission, and the rest of the team has to help them keep their secret. It'll definitely all work out fine. Probably. Hopefully. Benji/Ethan, 2k, T

whatever you ask by theappleppielifestyle Tony is temporarily cursed to answer any question truthfully. Steve/Tony, 1k, T

Perhaps It Is Everywhere by matchsticks_p Canon divergence: Poe and Finn crash land together on Jakku and don't get split up. Poe spends the next few days searching for his droid, attempting to save the galaxy, trying not to die of dehydration, and discovering that the newly-minted Finn (minted by me, Poe realizes over and over again, and it feels like a new revelation each time) carries a lot of bad habits from the First Order he has just defected. Finn/Poe, 4k, T

Leave My Body, Moving Up to Higher Ground by triedunture Castiel must take a new vessel to return to earth, so he strikes a deal with a woman who isn't as willing as Jimmy had been. But Dean's in a bad way and Leviathan needs to be smote, so what else can he do? Dean/Cas, 17k, E

Vae Victis by Elspethdixon "But you, Patroclus, you would not let me weep… You were always kind." Achilles/Patroclus, 3k, G

we should just kiss like real people do by theappleppielifestyle Hoodie-guy stops in front of Steve just as he snaps, “FINE, I want to bang Tony Stark like a screen door in a hurricane, could we drop it now?” “UM,” Sam says, loud enough that they both turn to look at him. He’s wide-eyed as he jerks his head meaningfully, gestures getting looser and more pointed as they continue not to get it. Steve stares at him. This is why Sam is never picked for a partner when they all play Charades. There’s a tap on his shoulder, and Steve turns to see Hoodie-guy smiling. Steve opens his mouth to say do you need something when he realizes why the man’s face is so familiar. “Hi,” says Tony Stark. Steve blurts the first thing he thinks. “Fuck.” Steve/Tony, 5k, T

A Dream of Flight by triedunture  Cas starts visiting Dean in his dreams with astonishing regularity.  Dean/Cas, 7k, M

[huntertales]

dude these one line head canon things are pure GOLD! i love them haha, you’re awesome! maybe we could make a thing out of this👀 random dates where we all get on and send you some prompts or one liner ideas in the ask box.

i should make it clear NONE of these are my own. i was going through the incorrect quote tag and finding ones that in thought were funny and editing them for the rewrite. i try to find ones that are pretty popular that I’ve seen floating around. and a lot of the ones i chose this time were from shows that i love so much. full credit to the hilarious people who actually came up with these! I’m just doin this to brighten our day!

y/n: how much do you drink? dean: well, not much. I mean, I'll have a glass and a half of wine at lunch, then nothing like an ice cold Zima when the sun is setting. Zinfandel spritzers while I'm cooking dinner, red not white. Several gin and tonics with my evening meal which takes me straight into dessert with some delicious cherry wine. Then, I'll curl up with the latest issue of O Magazine and half a bottle of scotch. Then a shot of whiskey before bed, so my dreams are peculiar and nice. Come morning, I can hardly get out of bed without a spicy bloody Mary. Can you blame me, Señor? I like the bite, cha cha! Then a couple of wine coolers, two or three, in the mid morning for energy—zappo! What do you know, we're back at lunch time, which means wine time in my book! y/n: good god

y/n: you know Lucifer can be real aggressive, so it’s important to take all the necessary precautions before approaching y/n: *blows an air horn at Lucifer* GET FUCKED

soulless!sam: this is crazy, but i’m having feelings again, like some kind of fourteen year old kid or something. you remember feelings, right? y/n: yeah, i have feelings every single day of my life soulless!sam: you do? y/n: ...are you saying you don’t have feelings?

dean: i think...you’re my girlfriend y/n: you think? dean: well I’m still figuring it out, because now I’m realizing I’ve never had one before y/n: this would be a really sweet moment of what you just admitted wasn’t so sad

dean: how long have you been sleeping with Sam? y/n: that’s disgusting. and wrong. i don’t even get-why would-i’ve never had sex with anyone, anywhere. it’s none of your-you have- the nerve, the audacity, Sam is my best friend, technically. and he is terrible, face wise. and how-how do i know you’re not sleeping with him? maybe you’re trying to throw me off? hmm, check and mate.

y/n: cas isn’t my friend. he’s someone i like to antagonize all the time, and one time we talked about something real sam: that’s a friend, y/n

y/n: what’s your blood type? dean: how would i know? Y/n: how would you not? dean: who am I, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups? y/n: so you don’t know your own blood type, but you know who discovered them?

y/n: my mom told me she loved me all the time crowley: exactly, look at how you turned out y/n: Uh...with high self esteem?

y/n: do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to get out of handcuffs? sam: whew! thank god you’ve been arrested so many times y/n: arrested?

dean: y/n freaked out cause I told her I never drank water, so now she’s making me drink eight glasses a day. it’s like, there’s water in beer, there’s water in coffee, there’s little pools of water in pizza sam: that’s grease, Deanz dean: well it’s wet, isn’t it?

y/n at a family meeting: all right, listen up you little shits y/n, softer: not you, jack, you’re an angel and we’re glad you’re here

sam after 3x11: it is Wednesday my dudes sam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

dean: I’m not scamming the government! it’s what’s what you’re saying! y/n: your license plate says “$cammin”

y/n: when you’ve been around for long as i have you learn to develop a thick skin dean: navy blue really isn’t your color y/n: navy blue brings out my eyes, you PRICK!

y/n: *hiding behind a blanket while seeing hallucinations of Lucifer* what do you want from me? lucifer: *eating a Kit Kat without breaking it* y/n: please! stooop!

y/n: calling people daddy is gross dean: stop kink shaming me y/n: kink shaming IS my kink dean: AHHH

dean: if this about those stupid tamagotchis, you left me with six of them, y/n! taking care of that many is like a full-time job! y/n: I left you with six adult tamagotchis in perfect healthy and by the time I came back home. you have to like, ACTIVELY murder them in order for that to happen!

dean: sometimes when we disagree, you get so passionate, it feels like i’m arguing with the sun y/n: what? that is totally crazy. I AM SUPER CHILL ALL THE TIME

dean: next time I want to hurt someone i’m coming to you straight for help y/n: aw, that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me!

y/n: well, i hate to say i told you so Dean: really? y/n: no. it’s one of the few great pleasures in life

gabriel: flirting is part of my heritage cas: what does that mean? y/n: it means his father was a slut too

josh: how do you guys usually get out of these messes? y/n: we don’t. we just make bigger messes that cancels out the first one

y/n: stop, i’m claustrophobic jack: what’s claustrophobic mean? cas: i think it means she’s afraid of Santa clause dean: HO HO HO jack: STOP IT DEAN YOURE SCARING HER

y/n: *helping dean with his homework* this assignment is easy just write down your happiest childhood memory dean: excuse me my what now

y/n: if you don’t do your work you’re going to end up at McDonald’s jack: we’re going to McDonald’s if I don’t do my work? y/n: NO

y/n: are you getting enough sleep? dean: sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close

y/n: so if you have twelve apples and your girlfriend asks for six, what do you have?  sam, tearing up: a girlfriend :’)

[thewhiterabbit42]

100 (+100) Follower Celebration

It’s official! I have crossed the 200 mark and while I know there are people out there with thousands of followers, I never expected people to take much interest in my writing or my love of Dick so I’m blown away that another 100 of you have shown up in just the last few weeks.  

As I mentioned, I’d like to do something for all of you.  It’s your likes, comments, reblogs, and interactions that make being here enjoyable and that encourage me to keep writing.  

Below is a list of characters I will write, 50 quote prompts and 50 kink prompts.  

Please send me an ask with a character, a quote, and/or a kink.   

You may make more than one request.  However, to give others a chance to make theirs, I will only be accepting the first one you submit.  All subsequent ones will be held until the end of the request period and accepted if I have not hit my limit.  

I debated whether or not to include any actors and decided at this time, I’m just not comfortable writing about real people.  I may make a side blog down the road, but for now, this one is staying RPF free.  

GUIDELINES

You do not need to be following me to make a request, but followers’ will be accepted first.  

All stories are reader inserts and are female by default.  If you would like gender neutral or male, let me know.

Can’t choose between two characters? Why not both! (Threesomes will be accepted and are encouraged!)

The kink list is optional.  Similarly, you can also just request a kink with a character.

More than one request can be made for the same kink / quote but if I get multiples I may start crossing them off the list.  

Fics are at the mercy of my muse.  Angst, fluff, crack, smut, it’s whatever she’s feeling.  If you would prefer not to have any smut, please let me know.

Requests will be open for one week starting today (May 5) and closing May 13 at 7am (EST).  If I get a larger response than anticipated, I may need to close it sooner.  

Fics / drabbles will be posted after requests are closed.  

Please be patient.  I have only one fic commitment in addition to this challenge this month but several real life ones that can be unpredictable.  All requests will be fulfilled and I will get them out as quickly as possible.

CHARACTERS

Gabriel Balthazar Benny Chuck Crowley Cain Sam John Winchester Arthur Ketch Mick Davies

QUOTES

“Come over here and make me.”

“Have you lost your damn mind!?”

“Wait a minute.  Are you jealous?”

“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

“I almost lost you.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“It could be worse.”

“I think we need to talk.”

“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

“Just once.”

“You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

“The paint’s supposed to go where?”

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“I thought you were dead.”

“It’s not what it looks like…”

“You lied to me.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

“You heard me.  Take.  It.  Off.”

“I wish I could hate you.”

“I swear it was an accident.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!”

“If you die, I’m going to kill you.”

“Tell me a secret.”

“No one needs to know.”

“Well, this is awkward…”

“I suppose you heard most of that?”

“You know it’s not wise sneaking up on a man when he’s handling his weapon.”

“Please, nobody died last time.”

“Is there any way I’m going to get out of this with honor and dignity?”

“Sorry.  Didn’t mean to enjoy the moment.”

“Could you not do that while we’re… ever?”

“Everybody dies alone.”

“This must be what going mad feels like.”

“Stop running that pretty mouth at me.”

“Just once, I’d like things to go according to plan.”

“Everybody plays each other.  That’s all anybody ever does.”

“Oh, I’m going to the special hell.”

“Well my days of not taking you seriously are coming to a middle.”

“Well, you were right about this being a bad idea.”

“I believe the exact phrase I used was ‘don’t’.”

“Are you always this sentimental?”

“It’s just a bad day.”

“Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?”

“I think we’re being followed.”

“You are very much lacking in imagination.”

“Right.  Because teenage pranks are fun when you’re about to die.”

“This might come as a shock, but I’m actually not very good at talking to girls.”

*Completely made up and in no way relevant bonus points for anyone that recognizes where 30-50 are from. 

KINKS

Against the wall

Blindfolds

Break up/make up sex

By the fire

Calming the others anger (with sex)

Casual sex

Chair sex

Comfort sex

Desperate sex

Dom/Sub

Double penetration

Fight sex/Grudge fucking

Food play

Fully clothed

Gags

Getting caught (masturbating)

Getting caught (sex)

Grace!kink

Hair pulling

I love you

In the bath/shower

Loud sex/knowing someone can hear

Middle of the night sex

Mirror

Morning sex

No foreplay

No speaking

Oral sex

Outdoors

Pushing boundaries

Discovering boundaries

Quickies

Really rough sex (feral/primal)

Restrained sex

Road head

Skinny dipping

Spanking

Spontaneous sex

Surprise sex

Tattoos

Teasing

Trying something new

While one of them is on the phone

Wing!Kink

Creative punishments

Inappropriate location

Praise!kink

Almost getting caught

Flirting

In/by a swimming pool

Tagging people potentially interested:  @girl-next-door-writes @sumara62 @fand0maniac @feelmyroarrrr @omgreganlove @jannalionheart @baritonechick  @theblackenedsky @bloodstained-porcelain-doll, @pepperwoodatnight @lacqueluster @samikitten

[disturbedvampire]

Certain Love of Mine

Baz is confronted by an angry Simon. Let’s just say that the thing that happens in Chapter 61 comes a little bit early. (858 words; ao3 link) 

For @snowbaz-feda. Inspired by the song “poems” by Hippo Campus (not necessarily its lyrics but its vibe) (nonetheless you my friend should give it a listen it’s so damn good) 

 --

*Baz*

It's been a while since I just laid down on my bed like this. 

The first thing I wanted to do once I stepped foot in Watford, after being trapped inside a coffin by numpties for six bloody weeks, was to go to my dorm and sleep. But the egoistic fuck I am wanted to make a scene, preferably where Snow was, so I first went towards the dining hall. 

My instincts were right. Snow was inside with Bunce, his mouth wide open as if he couldn't believe what he saw. Yeah, I missed you too, Snow. 

Now I'm away from all the fuss, and finally in my room indulging in the peace and quiet. Or so I thought. 

 "Open Sesame!" 

Snow bursts through the door. 

"Just elegant, a true 10 out of 10," I say in an unimpressed tone. 

"I have had it with you, Baz." 

"Haven't we established that years ago?" 

"Where have you been all this time?" 

"Why? Missed me that much?" I give him a wink to piss him off. 

"Hilarious. Now answer." 

"That's none of your concern." 

"You've been plotting against me, haven't you?" 

"Honestly, was there ever a moment I wasn't?" 

"Just cut the crap already! You missed weeks of school. Something's up." 

"Still smarter than you, I'm sure." 

"That's it! Draw your wand, Pitch."

*Simon*

I make a mental note of the glimpse of fear I see on Baz's face. It's the first time I caught him off guard. And I'm barely satisfied. 

I circle slowly around him, wand pointing to his chest, just like a hunter about to make a move on their prey. He's following along, gripping his wand tightly as well. 

"Why don't we settle this once and for all, yeah?" I say and break the silence.

"Snow, calm the fuck down." 

"You don't tell me what to do!" 

"Ignoring the Anathema, are we then?" 

"If it means I finally get you out of my head." 

"Here we go with the obsessio-" 

That’s when I snap. I leap at him, and grasp the collar of his uniform.

*Baz*

He's so close to me. He's excruciatingly close to me. 

His breath is hot on my neck, exactly where his wand's tip is about to pierce open if I don't pull away. And I don't know if I've just discovered a new kink, or if I've gone mental, because I don't fight back. 

Instead, I kiss him. 

And Snow isn't fighting back either. 

I kiss him with the same amount of aggressiveness, albeit for different purposes, he exhibited seconds ago. Now he's like a deer caught in the headlights. Frozen. 

I kiss him like he's mine, because this might be the first and last time to do so. 

I kiss him as a way to say that I don't want our rivalry to last any longer. 

Before this moment, I never realized how much I wanted this. But now that I know the feeling, my body craves for him more than blood. I don't ever want to stop kissing him. 

Needing more, my hands move to Snow's back. I press his body to mine, to which his blue eyes go wide again. He parts our lips for a moment, and breathes in short, sharp intervals. I could get used to that reaction. 

The next moment he drops his wand (smart move, what if I kill him?) (I'm not going to kill him) and resumes to lock his lips into mine. But this time it's filled with what almost feels like affection. I take this opportunity to deepen the kiss and see his reaction. 

 "Fuck, Baz." 

Snow's hands frantically search my body for something to hold on to, and eventually reach my hair. But it's not only my black, perfectly styled hair he's ruining. He's ruining the entirety of me. 

But simultaneously, ironic as it is, I feel safe in the hands of my enemy. It's as if his touch releases all the weight off of my shoulders, as if it ignites a flame inside of me. It's addictive, and I want it all to myself. 

Crowley, what have I gotten myself into?

*Simon*

Crowley, what have I gotten myself into? 

 It's not that I never thought Baz was good looking. He is. But I never imagined kissing a boy, more so my own nemesis. 

And I actually liked it. 

Baz has let go of me, and is staring at me intensely, but with caution. 

"Guess the cats out of the bag," he calls to me sheepishly. His grey eyes are still so close to mine. 

"For how long?" 

"Since we were eleven," he looks to the ground. 

"This is surreal," I admit to him. 

"Well that's a big blow on my dignity, Sno-"  

"Because I think I like you, too." 

Before Baz starts to say anything, I give him another kiss to show him I'm serious. He's at a loss for words. I swear his eyes are watering. 

He reaches out to touch my cheek, and runs his thumb along it. 

This was most definitely not how I expected seeing Baz would be like. 

But I could get used to this.

--

A/N: Mind you I love this song so. much. I can make a whole fucking AU based on it. It gives me inspiration and a shit ton of feelings, so I’m glad I finally made a story out of it.