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childhood au except it’s baby billy who lives with his mom and neil’s not in the picture and steve’s the one who moves to california and the two of them are not friends because steve thinks billy’s weird and tells him as much when they first meet but billy just never drops the idea of them becoming friends because, well, he’s billy
and one of the first things steve tells billy is that he’s pretty and billy’s confused because he always thought being pretty was a good thing because his mama would always smile when people called her pretty but steve says it with a frown on his face like he’s annoyed before telling billy that he’s too pretty to be a boy and walking away
cue years of billy asking steve if he wants to come out to play and trying to show steve a flower he found or asking steve over to his house and rich kid steve thinking he’s too good for all that, that billy will screw his reputation up and also battling with this big crush he has on billy that he doesn’t actually know about himself until he gets older and goes through girl after girl after girl and still can’t get billy off of his mind
and then maybe they’re on speaking terms again at some point but billy’s kinda over steve now for obvious reasons but steve is absolutely head over heels for billy and eventually he tells billy as much and billy’s like.. why? and steve lists all the reasons he loves billy and the last one is that he’s pretty and billy kinda glares at him and is all oh yeah? like a girl? and steve’s all no, like billy
#and then they kiss#the end#happily ever after and all that#steve being angry at billy purely on the basis that he has a crush and steve is a Straight Boy is real actually#billy hargrove#steve harrington#harringrove#flipped (2010) but make it harringrove#billy’s mom is like nice to billy and a good mom but she has her issues because neil and#steve’s parents also get divorced at some point for the drama#obsessed with billy’s looks still being seen in a negative(ish) light by someone because that’s such a big thing with him idk#like in canon with neil#except steve realises he’s actually just a dick and it’s not a bad thing#and he’s got his own issues yadda yadda#but you get the picture#childhood au#ickyspeaks
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The raven king, chapter ten
"How interesting," they say.
(and they say it a lot)
(i'm not kidding. the entirety of the first two books is just both of them saying how interesting the other is. it's suffocating.)
Another medicated Andrew! And black haired Neil!
The two first books hold such bangers, and clearly not enough people ramble about them. I'm a sucker for the relationship they have afterwards obviously, but even before that they're hilarious. Many underrated scenes that could be worth drawing.
Also I underestimated how Neil dress and presents himself - like: he wears oversized, worn out and faded, preferably light-colored clothes; messy curlyish hair with bangs; sports hoodies; JORTS-
... He's got a banger style actually.
#aftg#all for the game#the raven king#the kings men#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#twinyards#brotherly love and internal gay crises#neil keeps his hands in his pockets to feel the phone and keys andrew gave him and thats canon#just a reminder yknow#also did you know neil says the precise sentence 'im fine' exactly nine times in the raven king#like not 'its fine' or whatever just 'im fine'#yes i kept count#MUSE PROPAGANDA (this is an art tag)
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hc that immediately after the events of the trilogy neil crashes so hard. from christmas onwards his body has been abused and in various stages of healing and he is running through it all on adrenaline. this boy wins the championship and secures his safety and i bet just turns off.
there's no nathan or riko to be running from. the season is over, he has his trophy. there is nothing immediately pressing that concerns his performance on the court or his/andrew's/the team's safety and his body finally gets to come out of fight or flight and man is he fucking tired.
#and andrew is all too happy to let him sleep#aftg#all for the game#aftg headcanon#aftg post canon#neil josten#he skips like 2 days of class and everyone is totally fine with that#they just let him sleep bc if they wake him up then he may never rest again#and god they all know he needs it
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if andrew was a bit swayed by kevin, i cannot blame him in THE SLIGHTEST. kevin is like, specifically engineered to appeal to all of andrew's protective instincts:
fleeing horrific abuse from a grade-A asshole
thinks about going back to the abusive situation sometimes
needs him all the time
hot.
and on top of that, kevin tells him he's worth something and that he'll give him something to live for.
like idk what else andrew could have done. the man is not made of stone.
#sure kevin isn't a wilting flower of a damsel but unfortunately that only adds to his charm#for the record#i %100 think their relationship in canon is exactly that flavour of bromance you find in sports manga#that's built on challenging the other to be a better version of themselves in a platonic way#but#it's so so funny to me that outsiders like wymack could have easily interpreted their relationship as “complicated gay pining”#and that perhaps andrew was indeed swayed for a moment until the challenge of exy became more important between them#i guess that's why i like platonic kandrew?#because it's not really because of neil that andrew comes to like playing exy#believing in neil is a catalyst but actually getting invested in exy is something he develops with kevin#anyway#aftg#andrew minyard#kevin day#aftg spoilers
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One of my favorite Astarion lines when you select him has to be the “More like Drizzt DON’T’Urden!” one. Not because it’s actually funny, but because there’s never anything Drizzt Do’Urden related happening whenever he says it. He’s just Thinking About Him.
#astarion#baldurs gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate 3#babblestar#bg3 astarion#drizzt do'urden#The way Neil portrayed Astarion’s fangirling over Drizzt in the High Rollers one shot is 100% canon.#like he just Thinks About Him Sometimes#blorbo from that time he saved the world#i bet Astarion has had the same thoughts about Drizzt that we have about Astarion#and good for him#baldur's gate iii#baldurs gate astarion#baldurs gate iii#baldur’s gate 3#baldur’s gate iii#baldur’s gate astarion#i know Neil’s favorite is ‘careful. i bite.’#and that’s a damn good one#but I love that my blorbo has his own blorbo
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I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans
#i have so many feelings#i can't quite express the way everyone involved seems to want us to love the show#like when you love something so you show it to a friend and vibrate with excitement while you watch them love it#so that you can scream about it together#it feels like djenks and the writers and the cast and the crew are in on the joke *with* us#which contrasts so sharply to the way so many fandoms find themselves to *be* the joke#the joke being how much we love the show#the fact that everyone involved cares *so much* about the show is really obvious#not just this is a fun show but this is a *meaningful* show#i truly have never felt so much like i have a community as i have with this show and the fans of it#it is also one of the only shows i can think of (maybe some of neil gaiman's adaptations?) where the trademark over analysing and meta#and theories of the fans isn't ridiculed#this ties back into the being in on the joke thing#back when we didn't know blackbonnet was going to be *canon* canon#and djenks reaction to us freaking out that we were RIGHT was basically#well yeah?#i want to write a love letter to everyone but i don't know how#ofmd#mine#our flag means death#david jenkins#ofmd s2#ofmd 2#kissing david jenkins on the mouth
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𝗔𝗭𝗜𝗥𝗔𝗣𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗘 & 𝗖𝗥𝗢𝗪𝗟𝗘𝗬 + ducks 🦆
#in my head its canon that aziraphale thought crowley was talking about rubber ducks the whole time#and crowley thought aziraphale liked them so they gave eachother those angel/devil rubber ducks once#good omens#goodomensedit#good omens s2#neil gaiman#michael sheen#david tennant#aziraphale#crowley#mine#ineffable and#ineffable husbands#aziraphale x crowley#crowley x aziraphale#*
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andrew was gagged and SO AM I
#nora?????#i'd like an explanation#what the FUCK#bro...#when i tell you i was chewing on drywall reading all of these scenes#nora sakavic is crazy#the way this is like so close to canon too#like it's a half-inch away from the current canon events#WHAT#i think about this all the time#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#andreil#kevin day#kandreil
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i just know that aziraphale in the 60's was part of that circle of housewives that were losing it over spirk, i just fucking know it
#maybe she was even the one that started it#who knows#since we were supposed to have 60s fem presenting azicrow in season 2#also my angel in christ is a doctor who fan and there is like a... 99.9% chance of him liking star trek too#and that is real and canon and true... in my heart.#good omens#go2#good omens season two#good omens season 2#gomens#aziraphale#crowley#azicrow#ineffable husbands#ineffable wives#fem!aziraphale#fem!crowley#neil gaiman#terry pratchett#spock#kirk#spirk#star trek#st
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Royal andreil keeping me vaguely focused amongst my impending tsc obsession 🤲
(Also the patreon sticker for anyone on my star tier this month) (also you can go to patreon at that link to see a version that’s hopefully properly saturated because TT)
#canon andreil don’t get married and that’s fine by me tbh#they know what they’re doing#but like#just this once can I marry them#can I say in the setting it makes sense 😂#I’m a sucker for all the prettiness and grandiosity#fan art#my art#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#royal au#andreil#digital
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Friendly reminder that in the EC Stuart is killed later by the moriyammas and they let Neil know in advance and Neil can’t do anything but know that everyone he knows that’s related to him by blood is dead but he still has a family
#keep seeing Stuart post and I’m like Hmnn :)))#like it’s kinda sad but ITS OKAY HE GOT THE FOXES#just funny thinking about all the canon compliant fic of Stuart and Neil getting closer and I’m like LMAO I wish that’s canon too#aftg brain rot be like#aftg#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#aftg series#aftg fandom#aftg incorrect quotes#neil josten#aftg trilogy#aftg tsc#aftg neil
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tsc social media au part three :)
tweets/messages between andrew, laila, and neil are inspired by @4phr0d17e’s banger post!
as a socal (and astronomy) girlie griffith observatory is one of my favorite la landmarks EVER i love it so much (getty museum and san clemente are contenders too)
also if it’s unclear in the first gc the upperclassmen and travis are getting lunch at a usc café it’s like a tradition for them
#hc that the upperclassmen like to baby travis bc he’s a sophomore (cody shawn and lailacat)#which is funny bc he’s like canonically over six foot#sorry i have a lot of hcs for him#and haoyu#tsc social media au#cody winters#catalina alvarez#laila dermott#shawn anderson#travis jordan#jeremy knox#jean moreau#andrew minyard#neil josten#min cai#andreil#jerejean#aftg#all for the game#the sunshine court#aftg social media au
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currently reading this random fic bc i figured why not try out kevaaron? and the funniest shit just occurred
THEY HAVE AN "I"M FINE" JAR
#canonically a foxes swear word now#neil has lost hundreds of dollars to the jar#i read that and LOST IT#kevin then goes on to say that aaron is the one who puts the most in the jar besides neil and that is objectively funny#aftg#all for the game#kevin day#aaron minyard#kevaaron#neil josten#andrew minyard#also this fic is genuinely funny like the situational comedy is hilarious why are they like that
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Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.
Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.
Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.
Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.
I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.
As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.
Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.
And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.
First of all.
FIRST OF ALL...
Aziraphale has a mind of his own.
Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.
Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.
He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.
He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.
He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.
He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.
He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.
Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.
Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.
You get that, right?
Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.
People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.
Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.
And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.
And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.
Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.
But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.
What did he give them?
We all know what it is!
Let's say it together!
He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.
And then what did he do after that?
Ooooh, yeah, that's right.
God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.
Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.
This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.
We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.
But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.
Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.
And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.
He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.
Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.
But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.
But then The Metatron said this....
The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.
It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.
But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.
Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.
He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.
But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.
Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.
Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.
Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.
And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.
What the actual fuck, y'all.
Like seriously.
I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.
It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.
People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.
Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.
I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.
#autistic coded character#religious trauma#good omens#aziraphale#aziraphale defense squad#i'm in a mood#like i'm begging y'all to learn what empathy is#like goddamn i know i'm not perfect but at least i don't forget that the reason for everything in good omens is love#neil has said this several times#it's one thing to dislike a character#it's another to assassinate characters in ways that blatantly contradict what the narrative has told us#and try to pass it off as canon#if you wanna send me hate just hit the block button instead#i'll try to be really sad about it#and if you just have to send me hatemail at least have the courage to attach it to your name instead of hiding behind anon#i'm too old for this shit#i'm gonna go back to the star wars tag now#it's been a minute since i went off and today proved to be the perfect day for it
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more boys bleeding
reference image from: https://caren.co.uk/news/jordan-barrett-shot-by-jack-bridgland/
#aftg#I am not an aftg fanart account I tell myself as I post more Neil fanart#This isn’t based on any canon event I just wanted to draw him bloody#I don’t really like this one but we ball#all for the game#neil josten#aftg fanart#my art#the foxhole court#The chokehold that photoshoot has on me most of the photos could be Neil tbh#tw blo0d#Oc art is coming I cannot keeping aftg-ing myself
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I love perfect court AU stuff if for no other reason than Kevin and Jean are like 6’2” and Neil is 5’3” but he is 100% always more willing to start and finish a fight than them
#aftg#neil josten#kevin day#jean moreau#ik riko is like 5’6” but this ain’t about him#just let me have feral bastard raven Neil#he’s such a little asshole#canon content or otherwise#every time the stakes raise he’s like oh shit I gotta run my mouth again#he’s gotta keep all eyes (and danger) on him#anyways#him as backliner??? so many fights#and they can just grab him he’s so small#but feral#so feral#feverdreamsandlucidnightmares
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