#like it wasn't even on my radar until ~2022

[rolandkaros]

6, 23, 25

-@fritzes

6. favorite surface to watch?

probably clay! objectively it's my favorite, plus imo clay matches are generally more fun and a lot of my favorite players are good on clay

23. what's your favorite stroke?

this is one of the ones i can't really answer 💀

more recently learned about the term "inside-out forehand" and have subsequently become very fond of it

25. if you could change the result of one match, which one would you pick?

my god, i mean. the easiest one would be rg final 2023, but idk, i feel like it's difficult bc at the time i actually was very happy with the result...and if iga didn't win she wouldn't have been year end #1. i think i don't have enough knowledge of tennis from previous years to give a non-recency-bias answer but my next would probably be wimbledon final 2023.

[eriexplosion]

Yesterday everyone was posting their feelings on TBB. I'm glad I waited, because there's a lot swirling around. Cut for negativity again.

I was introduced to The Bad Batch in August 2022 and fell instantly in love. The characters, the story, the complex family dynamics, they all spoke to me. I wasn't even a Star Wars fan but I went through and devoured The Clone Wars, Rebels, The Mandalorian, all of it. I threw myself into this world and adored every second of it. I must have rewatched season one over five times before season two even came out.

When season two premiered I loved it. Every Tuesday night I stayed up until the episode drop and devoured it immediately. I looked ahead at the schedule and took days off work for the double episodes, for the big Crosshair episodes - he was my favorite early on and season two only made that grow. But season two also really brought Tech into my radar even more. I had always liked him, but here he was shining. The Crossing really solidified it, as an autistic person. I'd never heard someone describe the difference in processing so succinctly before, so clearly, and it spoke to me like very little had. Here was a character that was like me. Here was a character that I needed when I was an undiagnosed child, someone that would have made me feel like I had at least some way of describing my differences.

Then, well. He died. It was an affecting scene, but it felt out of nowhere, it felt unfinished. Tech didn't even get the climax of the episode. He just fell into the clouds, the Batch grieved for a few minutes, and then the plot steamrolled right along.

I didn't believe it, not after the mad scientist presented his goggles and claimed not to salvage anything else. It seemed like such an obvious fake out. The longer I sat with it the less satisfying it felt. It felt so brushed over, so pointless, all for a mission that they accomplished nothing on. Then came the social media circus. Again and again his fall was shoved in our faces on Twitter, demanding we stream it. TikToks were made that were so out of touch they felt like parodies, the wound ripped open again and again, and I thought surely there had to be a purpose to it.

So I waited for season 3 as interviews were done that seemed to almost intentionally avoid calling him dead. As tweets were made promising we'd be so fulfilled if we could only see who was onscreen in the mid-season! (A tweet that immediately garnered dozens of people hoping it referred to Tech, all without a single comment to try and quell the speculation.) It felt already like we were being toyed with, but I thought it had to be for a reason or a purpose. More weirdly vague discussions went up about his Sacrifice, his Fall, his Anything But Death, even as everyone insists that it was so meaningful, the way he died on a mission that accomplished nothing. Jokes were made around Valentines Day.

He Fell For You, get it?

The first official use of killed went up on the databank right after the trailer, on Hunter's page of all places. The first time the interviews used dead was the Friday before the premier. It all felt too late, theories had already grown for months by that point.

Season 3 finally came and I waited up for every episode drop just like I did for season 2, hoping for him to come back or at least for him to be properly grieved, since we had barely a couple of minutes in Plan 99 before it was swept away for the next plot point. Surely Tech's impact deserved an episode of focus, if he were really gone.

The previously on plays his last words twice. But then we skip months into the future. We don't see Crosshair find out the news - even though Tech died on a mission to retrieve him. We don't watch Omega grieve. She barely seems to notice she's missing a brother. We got a brief allusion in episode two. It took three episodes to even mention his name in passing. Five episodes in everyone got their chance to look sad about him, but only for a few seconds and only when his skills were relevant. Compared to the gorgeous callback to Mayday in the same episode, it felt shallow. He had to have been more important than this didn't he?

Episodes 6 & 7 felt like maybe there was a reason. We see a new masked assassin that gets extra focus, who got put through a series of Tech-adjacent situations, whose beef with Crosshair was just a little too personal, who survived longer than all the rest but stayed masked. Rex talks about losing brothers, but Hunter says nothing about the brother they lost. I hoped it all meant something, that this was the reason that he felt so much like he was thrown away, so that he could come back in.

More one off mentions that only really come up when it's about how useful Tech would have been. More poking at the wound that still felt open and raw because we'd never gotten any closure. The closest we get is a single scene in episode eleven, so late in the season and so brief that I thought that couldn't possibly be it.

CX-2 comes back, and he talks like Tech. He's still not unmasked. I really need him to be something because otherwise what was it all for?

The most emotion comes in Juggernaut, from Phee. Its a highlight because it actually feels like it was about him, like he mattered as a person. It's episode twelve and we finally talk about him like a person. We never saw her get the news either.

Episodes thirteen and fourteen pass without any mentions at all. We're running out of time. Episode 15 hits and we get one raw one from Crosshair that Clone Force 99 died with Tech. It's the first time they directly say he's dead in so many words. It's the season finale. CX-2 is a nobody it turns out, and he dies faceless. Everyone gets a happy ending and after over a year of wondering if we'd ever get closure, it turns out Tech's just dead. But look how happy everyone else is!

Everyone gets to grow old. Except the autistic one of course. He's just dead and it hardly feels like it mattered at all. Did you know Wrecker and Hunter don't use his name once in season three? Omega and Echo mention him once each. Crosshair twice, only once with any emotion behind it. Phee tops the charts at three mentions, two by name and one by nickname. We see his goggles four times. I kept count.

There was never a bigger plan, this was just all he was worth. We spent two seasons on Crosshair's absence. We spent a whole episode dealing with it when Echo decided to go with Rex. Tech dies though and all his life amounted to was a handful of mentions when his skills would have been useful, some shots of his broken goggles, and endless cooing out of the text over how meaningful his sacrifice was. Too meaningful to take back, of course, even as Ventress is brought back from her own sacrifice.

I had really, really thought that this time autistic life would be worth more than autistic death. That a character that felt so carefully handled couldn't have just been thrown away for shock value, barely to even be mentioned again, his memory used to string us along to keep us watching. If you added up every mention and shot through season 3 it might actually clock in at less time than was spent on Mayday's send off.

I'm an adult. I'll survive, though the sting of seeing yet another character like me used as a stepping stone for everyone else's happy ending will take a while to fade. But I think about the child I used to be who needed a character like Tech. And I think about how it would have felt to actually get that only to watch him die a handful of episodes later as a side note to his family's story, barely even mentioned again. How badly it would have hurt, how deep it would have scarred.

I'm not that child anymore. But there are a lot of autistic kids out there that are the same as I used to be, and they're learning for the first time that people like us don't get happy endings. Instead they die so that everyone around them can rise up, and they might even get mentioned a few times. But don't worry. Everyone will tell you how meaningful and special it is and how delusional you were to ever hope for anything else.

The Bad Batch still means a lot to me. I think it always will. I love the characters. I love the family, and all the potential they had. But the sting of not belonging in this happy ending is there, and it's deep. It's been a long time since I trusted a show. It'll be a long time before I risk trusting another. And I hope that the autistic kids trying to learn how to close their hearts off behind new walls are doing okay.

[k8023]

Anon that asked about my take on Joe & Ja'Marr here we go. Sorry I accidentally deleted the Ask as I tried to post this once and it messed up. 🙃

I do want to start by saying I'm not into college football like I am the NFL. I'm more of a casual college football watcher and some weekends may not watch it all. I knew who Joe was in 2019 but really didn't know much else about LSU. In Cincinnati, teams in the SEC aren't on people's radar like Ohio State & UC (when they are good). Most of my Joe/Ja'Marr observations have came from their professional careers and from interviews and stuff I went back and watched from LSU.

I think I see it as a big brother/little brother dynamic. They look out for each other and Ja'Marr looks up to Joe. Joe helped Ja'Marr learn how to watch and dissect film after games. Ja'Marr teases Joe and can get away with it where a lot of other teammates can't. Joe is the serious one who's all business most of the time and Ja'Marr can come in and lighten the mood and get Joe to relax a little. Joe does internalize a lot of things and takes responsibility for any bad game. I think Ja'Marr helps him get past that and not let Joe get too much in his own head. I also feel like they can be around each other and not say much and just being in each other's presence is enough and no words are needed.

It is kind of funny that after other NFL teams saw the success that Joe & Ja'Marr were having, their bright idea was..."hey, just go get a wide receiver our QB played with in college and we'll be like the Bengals!" It hasn't really worked out for the other teams like it has Cincinnati. The relationship between Joe & Ja'Marr wasn't forced, it was built organically and that it isn't something that can just be replicated by anyone.

I also think it's great how close their families are and it's kind of funny both their dads are named Jimmy. Before the Saints game in 2022, I saw a media member (I cant remember exactly who) say they showed Ja'Marr's mom a pic of Joe walking in the stadium wearing Ja'Marr's LSU jersey as she had no idea that was happening until they told her and showed her the pic. They said she immediately got tears in her eyes.🥹 I think anyone curious about Joe and Ja'Marr's relationship should go check out any interviews Jimmy B. & Jimmy C. have done together as they give some insight on their sons. There are several on YouTube.

This article was really good that came out right before the Super Bowl in 2022 (💔) about their friendship.

I also am attaching some visual aids I find fun. The Tiktok video is from the KC game in January when Joe didn't play and Ja'Marr was having words with KC's whole defense. Someone said something to Ja'Marr after the game when they were walking back to the locker room and Joe didn't seem to appreciate it. He looked like he wanted to try UFC moves on someone even with a bad wrist.

In closing, I feel like they are both fiercely loyal to each other and their friendship is really important to them. I do hope someday we get an interview with them together as it would be fascinating to actually see their dynamic. Maybe we'll see some of that on Hard Knocks this season.

[uniquexusposts]

Her || Charles

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff  Story type: novel  Part: 6/? Word count: 2006 Co writer: @mistrose23 Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 4. F1 Giggles & Tea

"Another week, another episode of F1 Giggles & Tea," the girl with the blonde hair opened the podcast with her friend, her voice carrying a cheerful tone. "Today we are gonna talk about Matilde Jørgensen."

The girl with brunette hair, the co-host of the podcast, nodded and smiled widely. "The girl boss of the grid."

"The team principal of Ferrari."

"Not gonna lie, she is living the dream," the blonde girl said.

"Although she isn't the first female team principal in F1, she certainly is one of the youngest."

"Only 29 years old!" The girl with blonde wavy hair raised her eyebrow. "Did you know who she was before she joined Ferrari?"

The brunette slowly shook her head. "She wasn't on my radar until she debuted as team principal. The thing in F1 is that you will not be known until you do something special, or if you are a head of department or a principal."

"Yeah, it's a shame, actually. There are so many people working behind the scenes. But I looked Matilde up, because I feel like we need to give her a platform. She is a team principal, but I'm quite curious to know how she got there," the girl with the brown hair said and took a sip of her coffee. Even though the podcast was called F1 Giggles & Tea, the girl preferred iced coffees. But the name was nice. The co-host nodded. "Matilde Jørgensen is from Denmark. I found on her Instagram that she was born on October the 8th, and she is 29 years old-"

"I still cannot believe she is a team principal under 30. It's really impressive."

"I mean, it feels like Ferrari had no candidates but Matilde, like she was the only one who applied for the job, no offence to Matilde." They both laughed. "Anyway, she studied at the Technical University of Denmark: Engineering in IT and Economics, also doing a mathematical degree at the same time. She got a placement at Red Bull Racing in IT. After that, she got a job within Red Bull as a strategist, and worked her way up to Senior Strategist, working closely with Hannah Smitz. And now she is the team principal of Ferrari."

The brunette looked impressed. "It sounds so easy," she said. "And that while only being 29 years old."

"I'm 25 and I can't handle my job at the supermarket."

"I'm still crying myself to sleep over my studies." Laughter filled the podcast. "But to our comparison: how is she doing her job so far? Let's compare her to last year's season."

The girl with blonde hair nodded and grabbed her notes. "Bahrain, 2022: Charles p1 and Carlos p2 In 2023: Charles P5 and Carlos p4. Saudi Arabia, 2022: Charles p2 and Carlos p3. In 2023: Charles p4 and Carlos p5. Australia, 2022: Charles p1 and Carlos DNF. In 2023: Charles p2 and Carlos p4," she said. "Baku was after Monaco, but this year it is before Miami. So Baku, 2022: Charles DNF and Carlos DNF. In 2023: Charles p4 and Carlos p2."

"Hmm, it sounds like the start of 2022 was more promising than this year," the brunette mused.

"Yes, but let's be honest: the end of 2022 was a disaster for Ferrari. God knows what Mathilde had to deal with when she got there. I can imagine it was a mess," the blonde girl smirked. Let's compare the results so far after four races, shall we? Charles had 78 points in 2022 and currently has 53 points. Carlos had 33 points in 2022 and now has 46 points. In 2022 Ferrari had 96 points and they have 99 points in 2023. An overall difference of three points."

It was silent.

"It's... I hope they will stay consistent."

The blonde girl sighed. "I mean, Carlos has more points now. And the team has three more points. It's not a downward trend. Considering where Ferrari came from last season, it has improved already. I feel like the team is doing better, but we will find that out later this season."

"I hope this girl boss will fix this team. But first the next Grand Prix: Miami!"

* * *

The Floria sun blazed brightly in the midday sky as Matilde and the team gathered at the entrance of their hotel in Miami. The past few weeks had been a whirlwind of race weekends and a lot of travel and it was intense. Someone from the media team proposed to go to the beach with the entire team. It was a much-needed break; it helped to adjust to the jet lag as well.

Matilde, who wore blue and white coloured linen shorts, a dark blue top and a white shirt, exchanged smiles with her colleagues as they gathered around in the lobby. The atmosphere was quite uncomfortable, perhaps it was because their team principal, their boss, was joining the team on a day out. At first, Matilde doubted going, because she would feel uncomfortable too, but Gemma convinced her to go, to work on the team building.

A few minutes later, the team made their way to the beach. Groups were formed, and people were talking. Matilde found an English girl among the hospitality people, they bonded because they both used to work for different teams. Liza used to work at Alpine and she started her job at Ferrari last year, one year ahead of Matilde. They could talk about Red Bull and Alpine and the things they had gone through.

The beach was a lively tableau of vibrant umbrellas, laughter and crashing waves. As Matilde and her team claimed an entire beach club, they settled down and ordered some drinks. Matilde sat down on a sunbed, looking around; almost the entire team was Italian, but there was a mix of nationalities and personalities after all. However, the common thread that bound them was their shared passion for racing.

Some people decided on dipping in the sea, others decided to work on their tan, or spend time together. Matilde grabbed a book out of her bag and decided to keep it to relax. She was reading the latest book by Norwegian writer Jo Nesbø.

"Oh, Jo Nesbø. My mum reads his books as well," Liza said. "She thinks they are amazing."

Matilde closed the book, realising reading wouldn't work. Her mind wasn't committed to it, she had too many thoughts racing through her head. "He is one of my favourite writers."

"It's so cliche, but I'm currently into reading those cheesy romances. Sarah Jio is currently my favourite writer," Liza replied and took a sip of her mojito.

A smirk left Matilde's mouth. "I read The Last Camellia on the plane. It's easy to read and it has such an amazing plot."

Liza nodded. "I loved that one too. Cliche, but good." She looked at the sea. "I don't know if you know this, or heard it, but there's a podcast going viral on TikTok. The viral episode is an episode about you."

Matilde raised her eyebrows. "I had no idea. What did they say?"

"Not much, but they talked about who you are since they didn't know much about you. They kinda dug into your history. Nothing personal came up, which made them frustrated," Liza chuckled. "Nothing negative."

"Who?"

"Two girls, they're hosting the 'F1 Giggles & Tea' podcast."

Matilde nodded. "I see." For the last few weeks, the media and fans have been very critical of Matilde. And she had to agree with them, because she too would create an opinion on a new team principal as well, but now that she was a team principal and people had an opinion on her, she had a different opinion on it. It felt unfair, because no one knew what she was doing and all the negative quotes were harsh on her. "I mean, I already read a few articles, positive articles, on how much they praise me for being a female team principal."

"You're doing a great job, Matilde. Ignore the media. Claire Williams did the same."

"As much as I respect Claire, things went downhill at Williams when she was the team principal."

"Then show them that you can do it. The Italians are tough, but you got this."

"I like your way of thinking."

"Give me a raise and we will talk again."

A laugh rolled over Matilde's lips. "We will see. Alright, enough about the media, I'm going to swim."

Liza nodded. "I will stay here and finish my drink. Will be there in a few minutes."

"Yes." Matilde got up and put on her sunglasses, making her way to the sea.

It was not like she was insecure about her body, but she knew that she didn't have a model body. She didn't have a six-pack, toned legs or arms. There was fat, she was midsized, skinny fat. And she was fine with it, she wasn't a gym girlie. But seeing all these models on the beach made her feel slightly uncomfortable.

While the team was enjoying a beach day, Charles had to follow his training scheme. He and his trainer Andrea were also on the beach. Andrea pushed Charles to his limit and it worked; Charles hated it and Andrea liked it.

As the training session progressed, Charles couldn't help but let his gaze wander occasionally towards the beach. He noticed some people from his team and it made him jealous. They relaxed on their day off and he still had to train. His eyes fell on a woman in a black bikini who was walking towards the sea. He tightened his jaw. His eyes lingered on Matilde's figure, she had beautiful curves. His attention was divided between the workout and the sight before him.

Andrea, noticing Charles' distraction, raised an eyebrow. "Focus," he said, his tone stern. "You're here to train, not to daydream."

Charles snapped back to attention, giving a sheepish grin. "Yep."

"Keep your focus on the workout, or you won't win."

As the workout continued, Charles struggled to keep his attention on his training. His eyes were inexplicably drawn to Matilde. She was talking to some other girl, both only having their feet in the water. Charles found himself following her movements, his concentration shattered.

Matilde walked further into the sea, the cool water offering a refreshing feeling from the sun's heat. She listened to Liza, who shared a story about a race she would never forget. Matilde let out a satisfied sigh, enjoying the sensation of the waves washing over her.

Andrea's patience wore thin as he watched Charles' lack of focus. With a sigh, he tossed a ball towards Charles, aiming it directly at his head. The ball made contact, snapping Charles out of his reverie.

"Ouch!"

Andrea crossed his arms, his annoyance was evident. "Maybe if you paid as much attention to your training as you do to whatever is distracting you, you would have caught that ball."

Charles muttered an apology, forcing himself to re-engage in the workout. But his eyes kept on wandering towards Matilde, who was now walking out of the sea, droplets of water clinging to her skin. His heart raced as he tried to regain his focus, but it was a tough battle.

Finally, Matilde saw Charles looking in her direction, and a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She had to pass him to go back to her sunbed. "Ah, lovely to train outside instead of the gym," she commented, her tone light and warm.

"Yes, quite the change of scenery," he replied curtly, his gaze flickering away. The response was colder than they both expected it to be.

Matilde squeezed her eyebrows together, sensing the change in his attitude. She was taken aback by his abruptness, but before she could reply to him, Charles turned his attention back to his workout. Matilde walked away, shook her head and walked back to her sunbed, following Liza.

As the workout processed, Charles pushed himself through the rest of his training, determined to shake off his distraction. But the memory of Matilde walking out of the sea, water glistening on her skin, lingered in his mind, igniting a spark of attraction that he couldn't ignore. 

Next chapter

[cannabiscomrade]

This will probably be more of a gasteoparesis-related question than a feeding tube one, my bad, but how did you know it was time for a tube? What was it like in the lead-up to that point, assuming it wasn't sudden? How did it get on your radar, or your doctors' radars?

That’s okay! It’s still relevant for Feeding Tube Awareness Week and honestly I’ll always take the opportunity to talk about gastroparesis or feeding tubes

It wasn’t sudden, but it also was like a stone rolling downhill, where it picks up speed to the point where you can’t get ahead of it.

I always had gastric issues with vomiting being predominant, but was misdiagnosed for a long time before being correctly diagnosed with gastroparesis.

I had a flare start up in Aug 2022 that lasted til early Nov 2022 when I was finally diagnosed with gastroparesis during a hospitalization.

I immediately started the gastroparesis diet and Reglan in multiple forms, which failed. Then I tried erythromycin, which also failed, and then I got covid and I stopped being able to tolerate liquid food at the beginning of December 2022. I could not hold down any food, even something as simple as ensure clear and had no nutrition from the beginning of December until I started feeding through my tube in the beginning of January 2023. In total I was in a calorie deficit for about 5 months.

I worked with a dietitian who was familiar with gastroparesis, a gastroenterologist PA and overseeing MD that all agreed to move to a feeding tube, but the bureaucracy of insurance and waiting for my order to move through the system as an outpatient procedure around Xmas caused me to get critically ill and I was hospitalized with starvation ketoacidosis, and my tube was placed two days later. (Long time mutual remember) it was so bad I went into starvation ketoacidosis.

In between all of this were many ER visits and hospitalizations, all of this long winded story is to say that it should NOT get this far. You should have nutritional interventions way before this point.

Unfortunately I hear a lot of stories like this in the gastroparesis community, or others where they are barred from getting a tube because they’re not “bad enough” or they aren’t under a certain BMI/weight so I like to share my story and give out this resource:

American College of Gastroenterology 2022 Clinical Guideline for Gastroparesis

And specifically this treatment algorithm to present to your doctor

To discuss treatment options if you think you’re at a point where you need nutrition support.

Other sources say a weight loss of over 5-10% of your weight involuntarily in the last 6 months and an inability to orally maintain nutrition in combination with the above.

TL;DR I tried multiple forms of treatment with a combination of medications and followed the pictured algorithm above all the way to the bottom but then I got really really sick and almost died

Advocate for yourself Happy Feeding Tube Awareness Week!

[toyota-supra]

My Top 10 Favorite Games I Played In 2023

In chronological order. It's a long one.

Titanfall 2

I've been told to play this for years now, though for most of those I did not really know why, as it never seemed like my kind of game. But, ever since I started really getting into mecha sometime in 2022, I decided to finally give it a try. I'm very glad I did. Titanfall 2 is a criminally short First Person Shooter with a very fun mech/pilot dynamic, really good mechanics of movement and combat for both, and some of my favorite level design of any game I've played in a long while. The platforming is crazy good! The mechanics are tight as hell! The mech is awesome! I recommend Titanfall 2 for literally anyone reading this.

Mega Man Zero

The Zero series is the one that most called to me in the Mega Man franchise every time I looked these games over, and I was right in that judgement. While I couldn't say if I was going to appreciate most of the GBA era action platformer difficulty or not, it was clear from Zero's more agile movement and bite-sized missions with very memorization-heavy bosses that I would enjoy it. And I did enjoy it a lot! Most of the bosses kicked my ass but it was an absolute blast to finally learn their patterns enough to defeat them. The problem is, I went out of my way to not get any of the game's health upgrades or energy tanks, making the final boss so hard for me that after days and days of attempts I gave up. Not beating Mega Man Zero is probably my biggest regret of the year lmao

Fate/Stay Night

Honestly, what do I even say? You can see my Saber icon, right? Fate is a franchise I never bothered to get close to, knowing of its name only through vague images and names of more popular characters (not even from FGO, just in general), and from later on getting to know that Fate/Grand Order was the game it is I felt like it wasn't for me at all and who cares. So when I learned what the original VN was actually about I felt stupid. How could something so fitting to my tastes have gone under my radar for so long...? Despite not being much of a reader in general, F/SN is a very long game that feels like it's just as short as you need it to be. The prose flows so well, every single character is lovable in many ways, and there's so much passion written into them and the situations they're in that it's one of the most smooth-flowing VNs I've read (which granted are not many) even though it's around the high 6 digit wordcounts. I love this game dearly.

Stranger of Paradise - Final Fantasy Origin

I wanted to play this game since the first few trailers! How cruel was it that, not only did I not have a powerful enough machine at the time, but the game wasn't even on Steam until the year after release? Final Fantasy Origin is the game it presents itself to be. There's something about it that's so special to a certain kind of person (which I happen to be one of) and that falls flat for everyone else. The combat and its many Weapons, Jobs and Skills to use are just fantastic in how nice they feel, and I really do like the type of story Stranger tells. I haven't finished it yet, but I'm close to it. I like to describe Stranger of Paradise as everything good about PS2 and PS3 games in a modern title.

Pseudoregalia

An old feeling from a new friend. Pseudoregalia is everything I like in 3D Platforming, and a little bit of what I don't. If you've ever looked at a single gif or video of Super Mario 64 and thought, "this looks pretty fun to play," you should be playing Pseudoregalia. If you like goat ladies with big butts, I can't say I understand if that would sell you on a game or not, but it is a feature everyone mentions. I wrote on this game already, so please do check that out and get it. It's one of the three titles of this list that came out this year, and I have not heard enough people talk about it.

Armored Core VI - Fires of Rubicon

My favorite in this list, which is funny because I don't know what to say about it at all. Armored Core is a series I've been studying up on from the outside for a while, and the announcement for this title was my reason to finally dive in. Unfortunately, I did not get past playing the first mission of AC1 a few times and booting up AC3 once. But I will get to it eventually! Fires of Rubicon is one hell of an action game, that I adored for every single one of my (currently) 67 hours of play. Going through the campaign with builds a little too busted for the AI most of the time was my dishonorable focus of the experience, but there's a lot else to do for every kind of person. The amount of freedom you have for messing with your builds for either single or multiplayer is not to be underestimated. Though it could be better. Here's hoping there will be a game that is.

Midnight Club 3 DUB Edition Remix

I played this game as a kid so much that the main menu and its theme are scarred into my mind, yet this whole time I had no idea what the game was actually like due to the fact that most of my playtime was doing a few races and just cruising around. Once you dive into trying to finish the story, MC3 is a much different experience. One that frustrated me so much, I got actually ill from the stress. Please take breaks, gamers! Your health is more important than finishing an 18 year old game! Still, I did eventually do it. Midnight Club 3's handling model and gameplay structure are really impressive in comparison to the much more popular Need for Speed series, and I have to admit I did enjoy the game a lot. It's just a lot harder than it ever needed to be. I'll probably never forget this game, and that's not really a good or bad thing. Just, advice from me, if it gets too hard, maybe switch to sports bikes. Buy that Ducati.

Test Drive Unlimited

Another car game, but this one I have the least to say about of any on this list. I had played TDU on PS2 multiple times before and thought it was awesome. The atmosphere and immersion of this game are unrivaled by any racing game to this day. But playing the PC version with a steering wheel and pedals made everything so much more incredible. I played the Platinum mod, which adds hundreds more cars and fixes a lot of issues with the original game (but not all of them; the game was still really rough and I hate how much the resolution is a pain to change). Overall, one of my favorite experiences with a steering wheel controller so far. Otherwise, a pretty good game if you like driving.

Super Mario Sunshine

An old friend, and a new feeling. I don't play 3D platformers as much as I wish I did, because they're really not part of my main priorities looking for games lately, but every time I play a Mario game, it's like I found love again. It was not the first time I played Super Mario Sunshine, as I had collected a dozen or so Sprites years before, but playing the whole game in I think two weeks during the latter half of the year was such an incredible experience. Unless for some reason you play it on the Switch, Sunshine is a game that loves you as much as you love it. And you do love it, right? I know I do. I'd love to play this game many other times in the future. Granted, that applies to every game here, I just wanted to say it out loud for this one.

Lethal Company

A fairly recent release! Having played it with many groups of people by now, both modded and vanilla, I think Lethal Company is probably one of my favorite multiplayer experiences ever. It is scary and hilarious, but also just really really good, to a level that surprised me for my quality standards of co-op (horror) games. Lethal Company turns friends into improvised horror movie actors and it's incredible. I'm almost at 30 hours played and will likely get to 40 at minimum. It's also pretty cheap and likely runs well on all sorts of machines, so consider checking this one out too.

Honorable Mentions

Witch on the Holy Night and Story of Seasons - Friends of Mineral Town are games I am adoring and could definitely go on this list, hadn't I started them both quite late into December. Maybe next year I'll give them a shoutout!

[scrunkore]

Scrunkore Media "Thread" 2023: Part 1

welcome to the scrunko core

1) Drill Dozer (GBA, 2005)

I'm a big fan of characters with big fuckin' drills, and Jill is definitely one of the more fun ones to play as while you mow down goons (including cops) and navigate platforming levels. It's a bit underwhelming in some areas, but it has a fun and energetic style, and I respect what the final boss fight does. A solid non-Pokémon offering from Game Freak, check it out sometime and maybe track down the cute little prologue comic too. [4★]

2) Kirby Fighters 2 (Switch, 2020)

Kirby is hardly a stranger to platform fighters, being in Smash and all, but having his own one is pretty novel - even if the characters who really steal the show are Meta Knight and King Dedede with their partnership in this one. The game itself is a fun little brawler that will take a few hours to beat mostly because of how long the harder parts of story mode can take, and it's full of fun powers and characters that you can use, but I'm not good enough at fighting games to say if it's really a good one. I enjoyed my time with it, though. [3.5★]

3) Sonic The Hedgehog: The Movie/OVA (Anime, 1996)

Strange, isn't it? Toei's original Sonic "movie" has plenty of oddities like an annoying anime catgirl who I actually kinda love, a silly old owl guy and Knuckles rocking that cowboy hat, and these honestly give it a unique charm. In terms of the main qualities, it's fairly nice to look at with good music and a really fun fight against Metal Sonic towards the end - I must say it's nothing spectacular until then, but I found it to be decent fun. English dub is pretty average for the time, which is to say not great, but it's also kind of iconic? Just a neat little part of Sonic history really, if you like the funny blue hedgehog you should probably check it out. [3.5★]

4) Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (Movie, 2022)

It's kind of crazy how much more interesting this is than the first movie, it wasn't even on my radar until the trailer showed off some of the excellent animated action that the final movie is filled with. I'm glad I checked it out, because this movie is a really fun adventure that also manages to not pull many punches with its darker theme, but it also has some rather silly bits, and I'll admit the bear family storyline actually touched my heart. Excellent villains too, with the terrifying wolf relentlessly hunting Puss, and the comically evil Jack Horner just being a dick the whole time. It's just a damn good movie with some great-looking animation, and I'm oddly excited for the future of the Shrek franchise now??? Thank You Pussy Boots [5★]

5) Super Kirby Clash (Switch, 2019)

Hope you like Kirby boss fights, because that's basically all this game is, with only four (admittedly somewhat new-feeling) abilities to choose from and a whole lot of grinding to be done on them if you want to actually finish the game. There are also microtransactions, but the game is nice enough to give you a limit on them, so I can't really complain about them that much, and you don't need to use them anyway. The fights are fine, pretty standard Kirby fare, and it was nice to see Nightmare from Kirby's Adventure get some acknowledgement. I didn't mind this one. [3★]

6-7) Chainsaw Man (Manga/Anime, 2018-Present)

Tatsuki Fujimoto's Wild Ride has been a hot topic for a while, and it's easy to see why, with the absolutely wild pacing, visceral fight scenes/massacres and great use of horror elements with movie influences that are worn on its sleeve. It's an intense and violent series that still has heart and likes to fuck around sometimes, effectively using themes of control and desire and struggling in a hellish world yet still maintaining hope, it's something with a vibe you don't see often and I'm still eagerly following the manga as it comes out. The first "part" of the manga is done, which is what I mainly made this about, and the anime adaptation is fantastic so I hope it continues at least to the end of that. Give it a go, I'd say it lives up to the hype. [5★ so far]

8) Metroid Prime Remastered (Switch, 2023)

I'd been putting off playing Metroid Prime for no real reason for a while, and then Nintendo randomly dropped the first game in HD on the Switch one afternoon, which pushed me to give it a shot. I'm glad I did, because Metroid works really well in the FPS format, which isn't the type of game I usually play so I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it in the end. There's the odd annoying room or brutal boss fight, and I'm not 100% about the whole visor gimmick, but as someone who loves Metroid, it does Metroid about as well as I could hope. Now, though, I really want them to put the other two games on the Switch too, because using a modern standard controller for this game feels too good to give up... [4.5★]

9) Pizza Tower (PC, 2023)

The indie darling of at least the first few months of the year, it's easy to see why people love this game - it's like that one Wario Land game, but with incredibly strong cartoon influence and also the Shinespark, and all of this works in its favour. It's a super satisfying action-packed platformer with a combo and ranking system that keeps you coming back for more, though I was never good enough to get more than an A rank myself. Bosses are fun and creative too, with a really good final one, and the aesthetic fits it perfectly, not to mention the absolutely incredible music. I don't think it's quite perfect, as there are some levels I'm not too fond of and there is the odd questionable enemy design, but it's damn good game anyway. [4.5★]

10) Kurukuru Kururin (GBA, 2001)

Okay, I see what this game was going for, and it's a good gimmick - rotating a pipe-shaped ship through increasingly difficult mazes while trying not to hit the sides or you'll die works just fine, and if I had more patience, maybe I'd actually love this game. But I kind of don't, and a lot of the difficulty of the game just feels more annoying than anything else, so I can't say I'm a big fan of this one. Multiplayer does look fun, and I guess the birds are cute, but I don't have that much else to say about this other than "eh not my thing". Can't say it's awful though, I still finished it with save states. [2.5★]

11) Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker (Switch, 2018)

I honestly did like the Captain Toad levels in Super Mario 3D World, so having a full game of them is pretty nice. The box garden diorama type levels full of items for Toad to collect are cute and fun, often short and sweet, and although a lot of them may be kind of a breeze, it absolutely will get hard if you try to do a more completionist route. There are also boss fights, but I don't think they're much to write home about, and they kinda repeat a couple times throughout the game, but they don't really hurt. I like that this version added Odyssey levels too, it's probably the best version of the game if you had to pick just one. It's nice fun, that's all really. [3.5★]

12) Kirby's Return to Dreamland Deluxe (Switch, 2023)

Return to Dreamland/Adventure Wii was the start of what is honestly one of my favourite eras of the Kirby series, and this polished remake shows that it's still just as good as it was back on the Wii. Typical fun campaign with everyone's favourite treacherous egg Magolor doing his thing, with a whole new mode starring the fellow after you beat it - the new mode is cool as hell by the way, it's not very long but it's really good extra content that fleshes out the lore. There are also a shit-ton of minigames from across the seires in this one thanks to Merry Magoland, each with their own challenges to complete, and you get funny masks to wear in the main game for doing so. Arena is still here too, and it's good to see Galacta Knight again after he got screwed over in Star Allies. This game's just a complete package, I only wish it had online multiplayer. [4.5★]

13) Blue Reflection Ray (Anime, 2021)

This one's just kind of alright, I would not have watched it had I not done it for someone I loved, but I enjoyed my time with it. It's a sort-of spinoff of a game series about gay magical girls protecting emotions from being erased, and I do really like what they did with that idea. So many of these girls are traumatised, and it explores said trauma in a way that I found rather effective, they didn't do a bad job with that. The character designs are pretty nice too, particularly when they're in their typical magical girl forms. The story itself isn't too bad, but I did get a bit bored sometimes, and the production values aren't anything to really take notice of - pretty standard fare there. I can see why my girl likes this anime, and I found plenty to enjoy about it too, but I don't think it really had much of an impact on me. It was fine, no shade from me here. [3.5★]

Next post here

[slonekaru]

Getting to know your BL mutuals - 2022 Edition

Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answers!

What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?

Big Dragon, I like it way more than I thought I would from the trailer and the first episode. It wasn't really on my radar. God damn are they making my emotions swing from 'this guys is an idiot I can't stand him' to 'I just want to pet him, pathetic meow, meow'. Except for Park and Pong I adore them all the time.

Also Secret Crush on You. Another that wasn't on my radar. The first episode rubbed me up the wrong way and I thought I'd hate the stalker storyline but by god does Billy and Seng have some great chemistry and give it depth to pull it off. Plus the storyline evolved and covered so many topics/themes. First times, body confidence, bullying, gender identity, questioning stereotypical roles in a relationship.

What has been the BL that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

I normally am a pretty good judge of if I will like it from the trailer so I don't get massively disappointed when watching. Strangely enough, it's not that a feel disappointed with War of Y but I'm not in love with it like I thought I would be. It's good and the chemistry between the actors is great and yet I'm not 100% connecting with it. Fingers crossed for the 4th and last story as it was the one I was waiting for.

Even Sun. Now I adore BounPrem with all my heart but this series had so many things wrong with it. And it was frustrating because I could see glimpses of the good there, Prem was funny as Sun and some of the Bounprem moments were great. But there were too many characters, they should have focused on the one couple, and the translations were so bad that the storyline didn't always make sense (I saw a better translation at a later date and the storyline was so much better!) But overall the writing was abysmal.

What has been your favourite BL this year?

How do I choose one? Seriously? It can't be done. In no particular order. Kinnporsche, Love in the Air, Semantic Error. I reserve the right to add Between Us at a later date! I can and will rewatch all of these numerous times.

Favourite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

So, soooooo many!

Wangxian, Payurain, Vegaspete, Akkayan, Jaeyoung/Sangwoo, Winteam, Wenzhou, Seanwhite, Gao Shide/Zhou Shuyi, Jack/Zhao Zi.

You know looking at this list I think I have a type!

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

It's kinda dependent on what they are after.

Love in the Air, Kinnporsche, Not Me, Until We Meet Again, Between Us, History3: Trapped, Plus and Minus, Bad Buddy. (Yes I know not all of them are from this year!)

But if they were newbies I'd suggest maybe starting with the Korean BL's like Semantic Error, Roommates of Poongduck 304 and Choco Milk Shake. They are just kinda fluffy with good storylines and are often comedic.

What's your non-BL favourite for this year?

I have two and I would recommend them to everyone!

Thailand's 'Mama Gogo' made me laugh all the way through plus I loved the Older woman/Younger man relationship between Annie and Chen.

Korea's 'Love and Leashes' which again I'm pretty sure Jung Ji Hoo is supposed to be a younger man to Jung Ji Woo's slightly older woman. Their portrayal of a woman discovering her inner Dom was wonderful. Also seeing a submissive man be confident, for the most part, in his submissiveness was refreshing.

So who wants to go next? Tag as many or as few people as you want.

@fluidsoul31 @kwonzoshi @kdrama-mama @introvertedkeni @lutawolf @tehkatie @negrowhat @massxhysteria @jynxed13 @littleswirlofblue @prapaiwife @prapais @piningbisexuals @piningintrovert @buildjakapan @liyazaki @smittenskitten

Ok, that's enough people, I know I've forgotten someone!

[shioaoi]

Every game I played & beat in 2022 and my thoughts / opinions.

Ai: The Somnium Files

While released a few years ago, I finally got round to playing it due to NirvanA Initiative being released and an acquaintance of mine adores these games. I'm a sucker for mystery based games, and the whole mental fuckery mixed with the somnium gameplay and eccentric characters just ticked all of the boxes for me. While graphicly it's nothing spectacular, I didn't really care because everything else kept me hooked and I'm very much cemented in the 'this is a highly underrated game' camp

Hours played: 27

Trophy Achievemnts: 45/45

Ai: The Somnium Files - NirvanA Initiative

This was not a sequal I was expecting to get, considering how the original game flew under the radar. Guess the creators were like, fuck financial success we want to make what we want - and I appreciate that. While I don't think the mystery is as tight as the first game, NirvanA Initiative wacked mental fuckery up 10 folds. I loved all the new characters; the gameplay tweaks and new additions made it even more enjoyable to play than its predecessor.

Hours played: 32

Trophy Achievements: 49/49

Danganronpa S: Ultimate Summer Camp

This game only can exist and sell because us Danganronpa fans are starved for content following the five year dry spell since V3 release. It's basicly a repackaged version of the mini game you unlock when you beat the main game. Was it nice returning to my DR2 children and seeing all the new interactions? Yes. Did I cry over my best girl Mukuro getting some validation and recognition? Yes. Would I recommend? Absolutely not.

Hours played: 20+

Final Fantasy XIV - A Realm Reborn & Heavensward

This year was the year I finally fell into the rabbit hole that was FFXIV. As an avid Final Fantasy fan, I tried playing a few years back but I didn't bite. I then tried again after my girlfriend switch servers out of solidarity and I got hooked. I found a great group of people to play & bard with and began to fall in love with the world and story. Unfortunately, I've not made a lot of progress further then part way through the post Heavensward updates because my completionist nature means I refuse to move onto the next expansion before I've done all of the available content & side quests. It's an on running joke about I will never get to Endwalker.

Hours played: 600 - 700

The Great Ace Attorny Chronicles

Last year I began to properly get into the Ace Attorny franchise. I played through Phoenix Wright Trilogy, and Apollo Justice on mobile & the first half of Duel Destinies (plz Capcom port them to console). I brought The Great Ace Attorny on sale and over the course of a few months played through all episodes. It took some time because heavy visual novel games takes a particular mindset as it required a lot of reading and I'm permanently tired. I loved the visual style and setting (Steam Punk Victorian London is a weak spot of mine - see Code Realize). I loved all the characters, from the main cast to the individual chapter characters. I didn't know all of the twists that were coming even if some I accidently spoiled some for myself. Just a pleasant roller coaster and places the Ace Attorney as one of my favourite video game franchises.

Hours played: 128

Trophy achievements: 19/30

Horizon Forbidden West

Horizon Zero Dawn was one of my favourite PS4 Games and one of the only western open world games I actually care for. For the sequal, I enjoyed the gameplay lots and explored every nook of the map. Unfortunately the story wasn't as engaging as the first, mainly because Aloy didn't develop and grow like she did in ZD. I loved the supporting cast a lot, particularly Beta, Kotallo and Alva. The gameplay will keep my coming back, though I hope they don't drag the story out until its just becomes empty.

Hours played: 70

Trophy achievements: 59/59

Jump King

Did I play this because many content creators did? Yes. Did I reach the top? No. I still had a blast chilling for a month or so playing this as a timekiller and seeing my progress and improvement.

Hours played: 10+

Life is Strange: True Colors

Think this was released in 2021 but I only got round to playing it in January. The first Life is Strange and Before the Storm had a very big impact on me, but I never played LiS 2. When True Colors was announced as a full game and not being released in parts, well I was intrigued. Playing it was like slipping into a cosy jumper you long forgot about the back of the closet. The gameplay and corniness was familiar but welcoming. The quality improvements in the graphics and controls was nice and made the whole experience better. I don't think I enjoyed the story and characters as I did the first game & prequel, but I also am happy to see this franchise that I have a soft spot for evolve and try somthing new.

Hours Played: 12

Trophy Achievements: 41/41

Minoria

I brought this indie souls like on my switch for under £5 in a sale. I had been missing a game I could just pick up and play for half an hour or so. Its a 2D souls like and while there isn't to much to the story, the setting was enough to grab me in and I had fun exploring the map; I never got to frustrated with dying because 9/10 it was because of my own stupidity. For somthing I brought on a whim, I had fun.

Hours Played: 10

Pokemon Legends: Arceus

This game I played in two halves. As a longtime pokemon fan I brought it on release and I put a good number of hours just running around catching pokemon and trying to fill the pokedex. I actually didn't progress the story because my completionist nature made me want to complete the pokedex in each area before I moved on to the next one. I eventually just sorta fell out of playing, having not even made it half way through the game. Then during the peak of the UK heatwave in the summer I was hospitalised with acute pancreatis and had to have emergency surgery to prevent me from dying. When I returned home it was to hot for me to stay in my room so I was downstairs a lot with only my switch and - since I had no money at the time - I picked up Arceus again and not only beat the story but also 100% the Pokedex, which I had never done before in a Pokemon game. It was a fun experiment by Game Freak and I hope we get another, expanded version of this game style in the future.

Hours played: 100+

Resident Evil Village: Shadows of Rose DLC

Now, I'm not a big RE fan - outside of the RE 2 Remake, Village was the only real RE game I had played (I had watched let's plays of RE7). For the most part I had a lot of fun with Village so when Halloween rolled around and I had no plans, I brought the DLC Shadows of Rose for some horror fun. And again, like with the first game, I had a lot of fun. Exploring the Castle again was a lot of fun, and they somehow made the Doll House even scarier like jfc. I liked Rose a lot and I cried at the stories resolution. A very enjoyable evenings entertainment.

Hours played: 3-4

Spiritfarer

Another game that came out a few years ago and I am only now just getting around to playing. It had been on my radar & wish list for a while and I finally picked it up during the time I underweather but not yet diagnosed with pancreatis and hospitalised. This was by far my favourite game I've played this year and the one I think back to constantly. The visuals are gentle yet stylised; the soundtrack soothing and the gameplay and story to well intertwined together. It was just such a chill game to play - I loved building my ship and recognising the whole thing every time I constructed a new building. I loved all the characters and their stories, and each one impacted me in different ways and I would get genuinely sad whenever I had to let someone move on. It one of those games I wish I could erase my memory of and replay blind all over again.

Hours played: 45+

WILL: A Wonderful World

An interesting little visual novel I brought during a sale. The premise is you have to move around pieces of the characters situation / dialog to change the outcome and progress. Some of the stories were kinda wierd and one that even kinda disgusted me, but the core gameplay was interesting enough that I played through to the end. It isn't a particularly long story, but I enjoy Visual Novel that add elements in so you aren't just clicking the continue dialog button.

Hours played: 10 hours

Honourable shoutouts to games I've started but not yet finished.

Persona 5: Royal

Pokemon Violet

Ruined King: A League of Legends Story

[toloveawarlord]

♥ Pairing: Natsuki x Kazutora

♥ Event: 25 Days of Christmas 2022

♥ Prompt: "If you don't have gloves, you can just hold my hand."

♥ wc: 1.2k

♥ a.n: This is meant to take place when Kazutora, Natsuki, and Baji are 11/12.

Meeting after dark wasn't unusual for them. Natsuki worked at a small, underground club until the early hours of the morning. It had been Baji who met her at the corner of the alley, insisting on seeing her back to her foster home safely, but recently, a certain golden eyed, timid tiger had been joining their late-night outings.

"We've been standin' out here forever, freezing our asses off," Baji complained, blowing into his hands in a poor attempt to warm up his frigid digits.

Natsuki shivered as the breeze of wind tickled the bare skin of her thighs not covered by the thigh-high stockings. Snow had begun to stick to the ground, making it a dangerous time to be without sturdy boots. "Oh, I'm sorry. Are you alright?" Her words pointed at the quiet boy beside her longtime friends.

"Yeah, I'm fine-" Kazutora's breath caught in his throat when the girl bounded up to him, her pretty face inches from his. Blue irises gazing at him with affection and concern. He wasn’t used to a girl’s attention, let alone a girl gushing over him without restraint.

“Why the hell ain’t you worried about me?” Baji asked, kicking an empty can that sent a puff of white snow into the air. It was colder than balls out here and he was itching to do something.

Natsuki ignored her longtime friend, instead her gaze fell to find her beloved Kazutora without any gloves. “Oh, aren’t your hands cold? If you don’t have gloves, you can just hold my hand, ‘Tora.” She didn’t give him a chance to respond, instead taking his cold hands between hers.

As if he could sputter out a response. His cheeks were burning as his heart flipped in his chest. Her hands were warm, and soft. Golden orbs were focused on her slender fingers wrapped delicately around his own. Kazutora lost all sense of being when she was around.

“No lovey dovey shit when we’ve got plans-” Baji wasn’t impressed by the scene. He’d known Natsuki to be friendly with everyone, but she’d gone full girlfriend mode with their newest member. It was as if no one else was on her radar. Which, he didn’t give a shit about, except when it was freezing outside, and he had to watch the spectacle.

“Ah- hey-” Natsuki protested, being tugged along by the back of her collar. She flailed, torn away from Kazutora and stumbling to keep up with Baji’s quick pace. “Don’t be rude-”

“Shut it, Tsuki. We’re late because of you.”

Kazutora followed, the only one not aware of the night's plans. Baji invited him to a special event, giving no details except that it would be fun as hell. And he really didn’t want to spend another Christmas Eve alone in his home.

“I was working.” Natsuki managed to twist out of his hold, slowing to match her pace with Kazutora. She claimed credit for inviting him, even though she had doubts that Baji had the same idea. Their duo had evolved into a trio, and it was nice to have a bridge between the two big, opposite personalities. “It’s the annual Christmas car bomb.”

“Christmas car bomb?” It sounded epic. Kazutora buzzed with adrenaline at the thought of what it could entail. His life was so empty before meeting them. Boring. Dull. Now, he spent his nights raging with Baji, and Natsuki made his heart flip in his chest every time she smiled at him.

Natsuki snickered, lacing her fingers with his to hold his hand. “Don’t get too excited. There’s no real bomb. Keisuke just sucks at naming shit.”

“Hey!” Baji shot her a scowl.

“I think it’s cool,” Kazutora replied, blushing once again with her small hand warm in his. He’d never had a girlfriend, never even had a girl look at him, but Natsuki was different from any other girl. He swallowed down the lump in his throat.

She was unbelievably pretty, dark blue eyes like the deep ocean, alluring and dangerous, but promising something far more amazing if one took the risk. Upbeat and wild. She wasn’t afraid to show her affection. He still vividly remembered her soft lips and the taste of her peach lip gloss the first time she kissed him. Natsuki’s gaze reflected genuine affection.

He’d no idea why she wanted to be some dull nobody like him.

“Let’s get this party started!” Baji howled, tossing Kazutora a baseball bat.

The junkyard was empty at this time of night, and the back fence was conveniently broken, giving the kids easy access.

The two boys trashed the car first, bashing in the windows and lights. Baji said it got the blood pumping. What better way to let out some rage than smash a car into bits and then light it on fire?

“So, you and Baji do this every year?” Kazutora asked, adrenaline still pumping through his tired body as he watched the ablaze car. His two new friends were so fuckin cool. He’d never have done something like this before meeting them.

Natsuki swung her legs, sitting on the hood of another junked car beside him. She swirled a candy cane in her mouth, savoring the taste before answering. “For the last two years. It’s way better than being alone on Christmas Eve, don’t you think?” She surely didn’t want to be in that tiny room in her foster home, with no heat and shrouded in darkness.

“Definitely.” He couldn’t agree more.

Kazutora thought her to be like a bright star, radiating this light that drew him in. As she stared up at the moonlit sky, he studied her profile. It was unreal how a girl so pretty was hanging out with Baji, let alone him. She didn’t fit into any mold, and he liked that about her.

“This is our first Christmas together, Kazutora,” Natsuki said, noticing his lingering gaze. He got this adorable expression from time to time, innocent and curious, like he didn’t understand why she liked him. It always made her want to kiss him, to show him that he was special.

So, she did. Only a little peck, but it was enough.

“Natsu-” Kazutora flushed pink, golden eyes darting away. He couldn’t escape, not with her hands holding his face. She’d tasted of peppermint. First Christmas... meaning that she wanted to spend more of them with him.

“Fucking hell. I didn’t sign up for this shit.” Baji interrupted, returning from his quick trip to take a leak. He’d known Natsuki for a long time, and her general affection for all her friends was seen as strange to most. But he could admit that she’d changed after meeting Kazutora.

It was genuine. She truly felt a spark with him.

But that doesn’t mean he wants to watch.

Natsuki’s lips quirked up into a mischievous smirk. “Sorry, Keisuke. Did you want a Christmas kiss too?” She lunged at him, arms latching around his neck and clinging to him like a spider.

“Fuck no! Get off me-” Baji was never rough on her, but he was strong enough to pry the girl off. He kept her at arm's length, annoyed at her antics. But he was so used to it.

The fire burned on for quite some time, warming the kids as they talked and joked around, making Christmas Eve entertaining in their own way. None of them wanted to go home, not until the fire was gone and the sun peeked over the horizon to signal the start of Christmas morning. 

[ckameley]

This started as me airing out my trivial job grievances since my bf isn't available to talk but then it turned into me talking about my short term career goals. Let me learn how to bullet journal or something so I can write down and work towards my goals and manifest my dreams

There's a visiting researcher processing samples (some DNA extractions but mainly multiplex library preps for sequencing) this week but we didn't order enough reagents for her and it seems like the business team just went ghost once the semester ended last week

Yesterday before I left I talked to her for a bit about how the order wasn't even approved yet so the reagents definitely won't be in before she leaves by the end of the week

She shared how she only came for this week to fit the schedule of a grad student in the lab, but the student has no wet lab experience and honestly doesn't care to learn (even though her projects require people to generate the data for her to analyze). And the researcher said her postdoc PI was willing to let her take this week to do this work to follow up on this project that she started in her PhD but wasn't finished because there was no one in our lab working on the G. Project (we have 2 other major projects focusing on other species that we've been actively working on)

What struck me is that my PI talked to her about doing this work well over a year ago, but since we haven't actively been working on the G. Project he didn't relay ANY of this to us. I am currently the 2nd most experienced in the lab to process these samples since I'm the main person who does our library preps, but I have 2 weeks left here until I leave in-person. Had he put this on our radar over a year ago when he talked to the visiting researcher initially, we could've planned accordingly and maybe done most of the work so she wouldn't be in this predicament (and I happily would've done it since I enjoy doing the library preps)

It's just something that I'm now realizing my PI could be better at: informing the full-time wet lab staff of projects when he first conceives of them so he doesn't just bring it up a few months before a grant runs out. Cause the other lab tech is tasked with cell culture work for the G. Project that the grad student SHOULD help with but likely won't bc she has no wet lab experience and seems very laissez-faire about being involved in the process of generating this data (even though she's supposed to do computational analyses with them eventually). My PI (and maybe the grad student too) wasn't upfront to the visiting researcher about how the grad student is essentially useless if you expected someone else to help generate data in a short time frame; and I completely understand the researcher's frustration with the situation (not to mention there are discrepancies in our sample inventory vs the data sheets the G. Project provided which has been an ongoing issue because pre-2022 the people entering data in our record system were NOT consistent and did it relatively sloppily)

And let me not get into how seeing that grad student have no wet lab experience, say that she intentionally switched her undergrad major from biology to anthropology to avoid "harder" bio classes that she couldn't handle getting anything less than an A in, and now she does not seem to give af about learning the wet lab protocols to generate the data she will be analyzing for her PhD research further fueled me to figure out what I wanna get a PhD in cause seeing some of the white girls from out here who got into PhD programs without the credentials I have was eye-opening. The best thing to happen to me by moving out here is that it grounded me and showed me that I am 100% qualified to pursue/do whatever research career I want

For my next job I want to get some experience working in a neuroscience lab to see if that's something I can see myself doing for 5+ years in a PhD program. I may not have the neuroscience education as a foundation, but I can be successful working in a wet lab and know that I can learn what I need to in grad school, plus my background in biology is solid enough to get me by

Yesterday I received an email asking me to fill out this survey for an organization I applied to. The survey was a mess but I answered as honestly as I could and it shouldn't even matter for the positions I applied for. So the fact that I got the survey lets me know that I'm still in the applicant pool at least. And my PI very kindly messaged a PI friend of his who is looking for a research tech in his lab that harmoniously blends my interest in behavioral ecology with neuroscience. Hopefully that becomes an option along with the other positions I applied to

I planned on making this move to be with my bf so that I work for 2 years, then I enter a grad program and we relocate to wherever if need be. And to be clear, I'm not pushing off grad school bc of him (I would never do that - my parents raised me to be my own independent person and my grandma, great aunts, and the other women who came before me in my family lineage would be rightfully disappointed if I had all this access to resources to be independent and I actively gave it all up just to be with a man). Given that I've had my own doubts and uncertainties about what I want to commit 5+ years of my life doing in a PhD program since I was an undergrad, all this time has been for me to test out research fields, gain experience, and develop personally

I can proudly say that atm I am done developing personally. I am ready to get into a grad program, train to successfully conduct research in whatever field I'm focusing on, and continue advancing in my career as a researcher

[rookie-critic]

To Leslie (2022, dir. Michael Morris) - review by Rookie-Critic

I'll be honest, To Leslie wasn't even on my radar until the Oscar nominations came out. I, somehow, had completely missed this movie that came out back in October, and now the lead actress, Andrea Riseborough, was having her name thrown in the same ring as Cate Blanchett and Michelle Yeoh for one the year's most prestigious film awards. So, when I saw the Angelika Theater close by had brought it back to theaters as a part of their awards film screenings, I jumped at the chance to go see it in that setting. It was such a sudden, last minute decision that I don't think I had even watched a trailer. I went into this completely blind, not knowing what to expect, and what I got was an absolutely stunning, beautiful, and emotionally affecting character study about the vicious consequences and results of living with addiction (in this case, specifically alcoholism). Now, I understand there's some controversy around Riseborough's nomination and the Academy has even released a statement saying that they're looking into their nomination process for future years, but let's set that aside for right now and just focus on the film itself and how it stands on its own merits.

Firstly, I don't care how unknown the film was or how exactly Riseborough got nominated, but she absolutely deserves it. This is an absolute powerhouse of a performance, with Riseborough drawing ire, sorrow, pity, and joy out of the audience all within the span of a couple of hours. If Michelle Yeoh's name wasn't also in the mix for Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, then I'd say Riseborough would absolutely be my personal pick. She makes you feel for Leslie well before the film ever gives you any reason to, and I think one of the most wonderful things about To Leslie is that it and Riseborough accomplish this sympathetic reaction without having you forget the misdeeds she's enacted as a result of her disorder. Marc Maron also deserves insane praise for his performance in this, playing a character that is so unlike himself that, even though he doesn't look any different, you can hardly believe is him at first.

I've never really seen a addiction recovery story quite like this one that revels in its smallness, that is able to move the audience without allowing them to forget all of the bad and the heartache Leslie has caused, and that's willing to paint the picture of how difficult recovery is when you've been abandoned and tossed to the side, provided with no avenue forward except for one of self destruction, where all that you have left is this addiction. That's not to imply that the people who have been hurt as a result of her addiction should have just toughed it out with her or anything, they made the best choice for them and got out of a toxic situation, which is understandable and valid, and in that way Leslie has no one to blame but herself. However, and the film conveys this well, all you really need is one person to not give up, to provide that avenue forward, and to plant the seeds of recovery. There's still a fair bit that falls on the addicted, it's not entirely up to another person to carry you through your recovery, but no one can do it on their own, and To Leslie is a pillar of that kindness.

I'm attempting to dig through my memory of the film to find something to critique, but I'm coming up with nothing. There are a couple of sequences that maybe overstay their welcome a bit, but really those bits, which show Leslie when she's close to her lowest point, stick with you and make her road to redemption that much more meaningful by the end of the film, and that final scene got to me so much that I think the only other film from 2022 that got more tears out of me than this was Aftersun. To Leslie is a marvel, it completely swept me off my feet in surprise in a way I don't think I've felt since 2021's C'mon C'mon, and regardless of how Riseborough got nominated for an Oscar or how I even missed this release in the first place, I'm unendingly grateful that it crossed my path, because it's truly placed itself toward the top of rankings for last year.

Score: 10/10

Currently back in theaters in a limited capacity. Check your areas theaters to see if its playing near you.

[braveandsnipe]

braveandsnipe's 2022 tokusatsu retrospective

in which i take a trip down memory lane and talk about all the toku i watched this year!

Kamen Rider

This year I completed 5 Kamen Rider series: Drive, Ghost, Ex-Aid, Zi-O, and Zero-One!

Kamen Rider Zi-O (Dec. 2021 -> Jan. 2022)

Started the year with an ending haha. Out of the 5 series I watched, this was the one that took me the longest to complete. At the time, I had only watched Wizard, Den-O and Build, so I didn't understand every reference in the show. I honestly wonder if that makes a difference. On one hand, I couldn't be mad at the show if they botched a "tribute" cause I didn't know any better, but on the other, maybe I would've enjoyed it more/been more motivated to watch if I knew more of the returning characters. Overall, I enjoyed the series. I thought it was very fun, even if it didn't necessarily stick to it's own mechanics (which in of itself is a huge flaw, but that's discussion for another day) and it's slow decent into a Decade AU™. I love Woz, and the main 4 group is one of my favorites. The 0.5 episodes we're also gold, I loved the self-reference humor. As for things I wish it did differently, definitely making Tsukuyomi a rider earlier. And I didn't particularly enjoy the final episodes (although that could've been because I stayed up until 4AM and had work at 8AM).

Kamen Rider Drive (Jan. 2022)

Inspired by the 2018 hit Kamen Rider Zi-O I decided to watch Drive not to long after. It wasn't really a season on my radar, but I was intrigued by Chase. Initially, I did enjoy it, even though the first 12-ish episodes did drag at times. But after Gou comes and especially the 001 arc, it got way better. Looking back on it now, while I still like it, I don't like it as much as I did when I first watched it. It's solid, but I wouldn't say any character stuck out to me or with me once I finished. Similar to Zi-O, I wish they made Kiriko a rider. I'd argue, she potentially could've made a more interesting main than Shinnosuke, given her relationship to the villains (creator). Maybe could've gotten an interesting family dynamic out of it.

Kamen Rider Ghost (Jan. 2022 -> Feb. 2022)

A more polarizing entry (on twitter anyways). I wasn't really going in with any expectations good or bad. The first 11 episodes were hard for me to get through, but after that, the show does get a flow going and became easier to watch. Similar to Drive, none of the characters particularly stood out (except Alain) for me, but I liked the supporting cast of Ghost better than Drive. I wish they did a bit more with Makoto because (at least concerning the show, no extras) he just feels like he's there. Sure, he has a connection to the other two riders, but he himself never does much besides look out for Kanon or the others. (Maybe he did more than I remember, but I haven't rewatched. I do think his V-Cinema delve more into his character, so maybe I'll get around to watching it). I liked Alain's arc the most, him and Ms. Fumi were iconic and episode 30/31 made me so sad (I cried at work). And Takeru was a fine protagonist. The only thing I didn't really like was how they killed him off 3 times (4 counting Heisei Gen.)

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid (Feb. 2022)

I did not go into this series expecting the impact it would have on me. The main reason I watched it was to finish out the second half of Phase 2 (Drive -> Zi-O) before Zero-One. Honestly, while this is the series out of this list I rewatched the most episodes of, I don't particularly love it. Coming off of Ghost, the beginning of Ex-Aid was really refreshing, and I liked the conflict and connections between the 4 riders. It started falling off for me once Parad became a rider and the introduction of Masamune. I really don't know why I dislike Parad, every time he's was on screen I just got annoyed. And then I didn't like what happened during the finale. But with the bad was good, ie: my namesake. I really don't know why I loved Hiiro and Taiga as much as I did at the time. In a sense, I think I related to certain parts of their respective personalities (which is probably not good...), but otherwise it wasn't like their characters storyline took off until the mid-30's of a 45 episode show. In retrospect, while it it a bit rushed given the timeframe of the show, their story was still really compelling to me. I haven't talked much about V-Cinemas and extra content (mainly cause they're mostly harmless but not much to talk about), but allegedly Ex-Aid only got 45 episodes so they could get the V-Cin. trilogy, and boy do I hate that because the Brave and Snipe V-Cinema was bad. Surprisingly, it didn't hit until my spontaneous rewatch where I realized how dirty it did the characters. In short, Ex-Aid: High-Highs but Low-Lows

Kamen Rider Zero-One (Apr. 2022)

The final series I watched before never finishing a series until this month. Similar to Ex-Aid, I think Zero-One has some really good highs (some of my favorite characters and moments from the franchise), and really bad lows. The writing of Zero-One (in terms of implications) isn't the best, and even arcs were pretty hit or miss. Like a lot of people talk about how the job wars arc was drawn out, and initially I disagreed because I didn't find it that terrible, but thinking back to it, I remember making a post that was like "the most interesting thing about the past 10 episodes was that Fuwa had a chip in his head" so I guess there wasn't plot development. I liked how a lot of the early episode felt like a tour of the town Aruto lives in and we get to meet people (workers) in the community, almost like a carrer fair. Looking at the episodes in a vacuum, I think they're quite nice. I really liked Metsuboujinrai, probably my favorite villain group. At first I thought Horobi saying Jin was his child was going to be a throw away line or like resolved relatively quickly, but it wasn't. The reveal that Horobi was a father-type humagear, and in the final episodes where he slowly was coming to terms about caring for Jin are some of my favorite moments. In episode 42 (?) when Jin sacrificed himself, even though I knew what was coming (the whole "your the only father I ever had" line), I still cried so much during the scene. It was very well done. Ikazuchi and Naki were good support characters, I'm glad each of them have some funny/iconic/good scenes. I wish they had done more with Yua outside of Gai. I feel like Gai gets more to do than her despite her being the tertiary introduced in episode 3. The whole chip in Fuwa's head thing was also weird (I don't have the words to explain it right now). I liked that Fuwa liked Aruto's jokes because their similar to the ones his dad made. I think Aruto is an interesting character to be the main, it's kind of weird he was just thrown into the company, and a bunch of other things I'm going to leave for another day. I don't think Gai needed a redemption arc, but I teared up when he got Thouser back. (Wow I had a lot to say)

2. Super Sentai

I didn't watch that much Sentai this year, and only completed 2: Seijuu Sentai Gingaman and Bakuryu Sentai Abaranger

Seijuu Sentai Gingaman (~May 2022)

I kind of forgot I watched this lol. Overall, it was better/more fun than I was expecting it to be.

Bakuyuu Sentai Abaranger (Nov. 2022 -> Dec. 2022)

I started this one day because no one (my teachers) decided not to show up to school. I ended up enjoying it a lot. I like the team dynamics, and it was solid at balancing silliness and seriousness. I think having the motws be made from forms of art (painting and music) was cool and made for some cool designs/abilities.

3. Ultraman

This year I finished the trifecta and watched 2 Ultraman Series: X and Orb.

Ultraman X (Aug. 2022)

I watched this for totally legit reasons…/ It was alright, but it kind of just felt like the same thing (formula) for 20 episodes. I did like the 24 hours at Xio episode and the Ginga S crossover. I also think this series had some good effects and the fact that their car turns into a jet is so funny to me.

Ultraman Orb (Sept. 2022)

I liked this series better than X. It was more interesting and I feel like there was more intrigue and a story line. The unfolding of the connection between Gai and Naomi was great and overall I liked the one episode plots

4. Power Rangers

Since I've watched most Power Rangers, I only finished the latest series this year. I sometimes forget power rangers is a tokusatsu lol.

Dino Fury (Feb 2021 -> Sept. 2022)

I said a lot about what I thought about the show on my other blog. Generally, I think it has good idea, but the execution of them is hit or miss.

(wow this kind of fell off at the end)