#like ive been fine most of the week which im grateful for bc

[fellasleepinbaltimore]

[coinfight]

finally looked at the feedback and I appreciate all of them!! I'll comment my thought process on the common complaints publicly before talking with the current other mod

the +2 for non-gender was added with me thinking it will encourage people to coin stuff other than genders, which there is already a near endless amount of in the community, but it seems it was taken advantage of, unfortunately. Im planning to either only make it +1, make it so vague terms fall under 'gender' in this case (such as, a term related to x, rather than a y term related to x), or remove this system altogether.

the revenge mechanic was introduced mostly with me thinking people will be encouraged to attack more knowing they'll be likely to get something back as revenge, but I didnt anticipate it getting this out of hand to the point people were getting 20 points with 1 attack :'3. the revenge chain seems to be confusing for some anyway. this system worked better on art fight, where the points were counted automatically, and art that took more time got more points so it felt more balanced. Im planning the either cap it somewhere (maybe only 1 revenge gets counted ever and gets +2?), or remove it altogether

we most definitely both need more mods and better communication, this was a problem not once, but twice during the event. I can excuse this for now because we were mostly in a rush to get things ready and I did not get to flesh out the rules to the other mod before it started, but I do not want this to be a continued issue for next year.

the rush to start to event also caused for a lack of preparations and promotions for the event, so we let people join within the week the event was going on to make up for it. this eventually gave one team an unfair advantage. this will not be occurring next year, hopefully, as the team picking will be done a week prior and the reblogs will be locked once the 2nd day of the event comes around.

Ive seen a few comment about how there being a lack of prizes means a lack of insentive to participate, which I understand completely, but I cannot give a voucher to everyone in one team, that would take a lot out of me when the event already did so anyway, but we may work on graphics for the winners! just a lil trophy for them to share their pride through.

there not being a set time zone seems to have been an issue, especially at the end of the event. for next year Im going to try to base the beginning and end of the event through the central time zone, with daily submission limits still being through the participant's own time zone.

all of these worked fine for last year, because it was a small event meant to celebrate a milestone I got with something a little different than the usual 'coining event'. it was between internet friends, and so the air was a lot less competitive. this is no longer the case as coinfight grew twice as big since then, with a wider range of participants, both familiar and unfamiliar to me. I am grateful for this, however that means it is also harder to keep track of, and rely on participant integrity.

one thing I do NOT remember last year having is a 3 submissions per day rule, I cant tell if I just forgot I had that rule up or the other mod decided it would be appropriate, which it was! we could hardly keep up with 3 submissions per day by every participant, and I even gave up a little by the end. I do not think we will be changing this, except the ability to make up for lost days. this would, however, add another thing for us to keep track of.

I will forward all your complaints to the other mod (bc I used a personal email to make the survey like a dummy) and hear what she has to say.

do not be sad that you've upset us or anything, you havent! we asked for feedback for a reason, and will be using it to make next year better than ever!

with love to the entire mogai community, -🫀

[spikesbimbo]

Drunk in Love

Summary:  Getting drunk and confessing your love for your “boy” friend and fucking him was most definitely not what you expected to go down on the usual night.

Pairing: Issei Matusukawa x Reader

Tags: Timeskip!Tattoed Mattsun, softdom!issei Hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, smut, fluff, virgin!reader, Unptrotected sex, non-penetrative sex, fingering, oral, pussy/thigh job, clit slapping, sweet dirty talk, praise, drunk sex

Word count: 7.2k

A/N: I heard pussy job and I wrote a whole ass novel

18+ Minors DNI

You run your finger over the condensation of your empty drink, drawing shapes (or what you thought to be shapes, you couldn’t tell at this point) waiting for your dear friend, Makki to bring you a refill of your cocktail.  

“Here ya go.” Makki said as he returned with your beloved Malibu Sunset. The smooth coconut rum bringing you back to your first and favorite drink that you ever got drunk on in high school. You smiling at the memory

“Thanks.” you say. Your reply being mumbled by the liquid already in your mouth.

This all started with Iwaizumi calling Mattsun up, you and Makki hearing “You wanna get wasted?” on the other side of the phone. And with pleasure, you two were already packing your stuff up, shoving yalls “pregame” bottles back in the bag. The three of you made your happy way there climbing through the fence of the abandoned skate park you were in. Needles to say it was abandoned for a reason, but what’s life without a little danger.

You three and the rest of the third years have been friends since high school, meeting in freshman year, and now including Oikawa’s girlfriend. You actually didn’t like Oikawa at first, his “pretty boy” demeanor making you internally cringe. But his personality grew quickly on you, being the perfect target to tease you and Iwa clowning him over everything.

Now back to you on your nth drink, complaining about your previous job that fired you because u got injured, even though you know you wouldn’t have lasted long there anyways because you weren’t that academically inclined. Bright? Whatever you wanted to call it.

And as-usual it wasn’t long before your crybaby ass immediately called Makki and Issei and “tried” your best to tell them what happed with your dramatic self-induced tears running down you race, while Makki urged to you to try to calm down and Issei straight up laughing at the state your were in, snot running out of your nose. You recoiling at the thought, hoping they forgot. (Spoiler, they didn’t)

But now you nanny for a rich couple and you get payed good to play with cute babies all day, sounds good to you! Luckily, you had the week off due to them going on a vacation, you think it was France, no, the south of France. Must be nice.

Cue to now, Mattsun chuckling and leaning on you and Iwaizumi; both of you, especially Iwa, being visibly done with his shit. Him reminding you about the times you bought him some random shit, which you went out of your way for since he always payed for you, like that chopper keychain because you said it reminder you of him.

He didn’t know what compelled you to say his 6’2, tattooed built self looked like a tiny reindeer but okay. It still meant a lot to him, hooking it onto his motorcycle keys. But you knew he appreciated it, despite his appearance he’s a softie.

“You wanna try this’” He says gaining his composure offering you one of the shots he got.

You took one of the mini glasses, not being the type to back down and promptly swung the drink to the back of your mouth, quickly coughing before it even reached your throat.

“This shit is fucking gross.” You coughed out bringing the glass down from your lips.

  “Imagine being sober. Can’t relate.” He said taking another shot.

  “I guess I should do that but ive passed the point of giving a fuck” You said sending yall into a giggling fit while somehow Makki was thrown in to support yall from falling over. You two carry on laughing ignoring everyone’s stares at you thinking about how much yall fit perfectly together.  

   Makki rearranges himself to sit back in his chair, far away, from the both of you, whispering “Damn. I’m really third wheeling.” under his breath. Getting a snicker out of Oikawa sitting next to him.

   “When your best friends are ignoring you. Sad times.” He continues bringing his bottle to his mouth getting no response.

  Issei chuckles and gets up shoving his hands in his pocket reaching for the cigarettes. Pulling them out while failing to find his lighter

  “Fuck.” He muttered

  “Any’all got a light?”

  No one responds so you sacrifice yourself “Yeah” you say reaching into your pocket grabbing out your prized possession of a hot pink, bedazzled lighter that you did yourself, reaching out to hand it to him.

  “Don’t lose it” you stated seriously trying not to break a smile.

  “K’ sweet cheeks.” He said smirking into the butt between his lips as he walked away. Your face now burning up, hoping that everyone would think it was because of the alcohol.

  You mind wanders, thinking about the “dates” you two go on, from watching shows you “forcing” him to watch some romantic anime, to going to the skatepark, to playing video games with the rest of the 3rd years (which you don’t really like but you’ll play for him) and him surprising you with takeout, you bringing out candles trying your best to make it cute with him telling u everything you everything about his day.

  And you always tried to remain calm, even though sometimes he deserved to get his ass beat, like that one time he broke one of your favorite pair of heels. It honestly hurt him even more, he wanted you to get mad at him but no, you just acted like nothing happened. Making the guilt rise in him. Let’s just say didn’t have to lift a finger for the next few weeks.

You basically babied him, taking care of all his “chores”, mainly making him food when you were at his place knowing he hated doing it. Makki teasing you for acting like his housewife, leading to you slapping the shit outta him while trying to cover your now red cheeks.

You’ve never been so grateful for your attire at the moment, blessing yourself for not wearing your usual outfits of short skirts and cute tops, defending yourself saying what housewife dresses in beat up vans and baggy clothes. You definitely not imaging yourself in that position for the rest of the day.

 You expressed that you just liked to take care of people, which was true. You always looked out for them, bringing an extra umbrella, to bringing cookies you made at 2 in the morning to school, always carrying band-aids (yes, the paw patrol ones you took from the kids you babysit).

You checked the time on your phone seeing it was late since the sun at last went down, your lock screen being your dogs to their complaint since they have a group photos of you all from high school as theirs. To which you replied “They’re my babies” getting a groan and huff out of them.

  Seeing the notifications of your group chat you grinned at the contact name you and Issei gave each other; yall jokingly call each other pet names, his contact being honeybun and yours being pumpkin, even including Makki in your contacts as pudding bc then it wasn’t weird, right? no.

  “What’re you smiling at y/n?” Oikawa cheekily asks teasing you. You turn to him giving him a dirty look, not having enough energy to deal him right now.

  “Don’t listen to his bullshit.” Oikawa’s girlfriend says. You’re thankful for her. She was always on your side, being the only other girl in your friend group. To be honest you just wanted her and you to hang out most of the time, but of course to your disapproval her boyfriend and his friends had to join in.

  “Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m sleeping.” You say getting up to her objection, the only thing on your mind wanting to retire for the night.

  “You sure you’ll be fine? Let us at least walk you home.” She said already grabbing her boyfriend’s arm.

  “Nah, im good. I live right down the road.” You try to say not slurring. The last thing you want is him teasing you even more, especially in this state, knowing you, you’d probably start crying at the slightest irritation when youre this drunk.

    You started to “walk” towards your house resting  your hand against the brick walls to not lose your balance, leading you to run into Issei. You stopped to watch him lean against the alley holding a cigarette between his index and middle finger.

  “I’m hiding like a bitch” He says noticing you, resting his weight against the wall.

 “Wanna be a bitch with me? He grinned  blowing out the smoke out with his words.

You didn’t reply, just walking over to him, just being around him made you feel warm.

"Fuck its windy.” He says trying to light a new cig.

“C’you make me a house?” He asks.

You go up and put your hands around his cigarette, this not being your first time. Your hands wrap a little tighter to prevent the wind from burning out his flame. He joins you with his free hand helping, finally getting his cig to light.

 “Thanks doll” He smirks.

“No problem princess.” You reply earning a laugh out of him.

He takes his first hit with his and your hands still wrapped around it. He gets an up-close look at your hands, noticing how tiny they were, seeing all the scars that he never noticed, making a mental note to ask you how you got them later.

His head gets close to yours for the first time in a while due to his height. You glance at his face, noticing his features seeing some stubble growing on his face.

“You ain’t shave?” You ask, never seeing it in the past, while he was moving back up, blowing the smoke away from you.

“What, you don’t like my majestic beard? “He jokes. Making you giggle almost losing your balance before catching yourself on the wall.

  “s’too much work.” He starts. “You wanna shave it for me?” he says slightly leaning towards you. Handing you back your lighter knowing you didn’t need him to carry it because your pants actually had pockets in them for once.

You let out a soft laugh not responding again. He catches on, you got quiet when you were tired and he made out that you were walking towards your house.

“You going home?” he asks already knowing the answer.

“Yeah.” You respond more than happy to have him walk you back, him already moving to walk next to you.

He walks you home, you two talking about random shit, both of you forgetting about your skateboards leaving Makki to deal with them. And even though you’re drunk as fuck you’re still in the right state of mind, carrying a normal conversation with him. But just because you’ve built a tolerance doesn’t mean you can do basic tasks, like walk correctly.

When he reaches your house, he types in the keycode, your first dogs birthday, being glad that you, him and Makki have each other’s memorized.

He leads you into you house setting you on the couch, petting your dogs that ran up to him.

“Mommy’s not feeling too good” He said giving them the affection they deserved.

“Yes I am.” You slurred getting them attention on you now.

He walked over to your counter putting on the playlist that you two made together on shuffle, High fashion being the first to play. You didn’t like when it was quiet because too many thoughts would run though your head. You were in no way sad, singing the lyrics while you were laughing barely being able to hold yourself up as proof.

Remembering you were tired, he takes you off the couch and borderline carries you to your room, , setting you on your plush blankets that you had so many of because it was warm and comfy.

 “Easy, there. Try to sit up.”He said, trying to ask you what draws your pj’s were in because he didn’t want to snoop around; neither of you being bothered that you were half naked, what’s the difference between panties and a bikini, he thought remembering the times you’ve been to the beach together.  

Well it was maybe the fact that you were clinging onto him because u stumbled into him and he was closest stable thing around and you wouldn’t let go because it was cold and you couldn’t stop shaking.

 He ignores his thoughts and grabs the shirt he got out figuring you don’t need to change your bra because you told him and Makki that it was normal to keep it on for a few days after they were in awe as you were explaining how expensive they were. You calling Oikawa’s girlfriend to prove your point as she immediately agreed with you…Sometimes you might have got a little too comfortable with them.

You hear the song in the background change to Love Songs, you humming along, “Hope you smile when you listen.”

You were still holding on to him, your boobs squeezing against him, him only being able to put a t-shirt on you, while you looked up at him with your red glossy eyes making him burn up.  

You fidget timidly with your face now in his chest while gripping his sweater. Trying to build up the little courage you had. He tilts your head up making you look at him, wondering what you were thinking about.

  You try to express yourself, but you can’t get the words out him having no idea what is going on in your head at the moment.

“It’s okay to be nervous sometimes. Tell me” He gently says reading your body language. He was intuitive, so there was no way you could hide your feelings from him.

But you knew you could trust him, him having full self-control, always staying collected and following through on what he said he’d do.  He went out of his way to avoid any friction coming between you two, him never raising his voice or starting an argument.

“We need to talk.” You started. “About something important.”

“Ok…What is it?” He questioned rubbing his hands on your back. You were so nervous, were you really about to say this? Confess your feelings that you’ve pushed to the back of your heart for so long?

“I… I l… I love your face. And the stuff in it. and around it.” You spoke, being surprised you did it stutter.

He stood there, hands stopped moving trying to process what you just said.

“Just you, in general…”  You finally confess trying to state three things at once barely getting your words out.

But he understood exactly what you meant, or maybe he was warping what you said to fit what he wanted.

  "I don’t even know when I started liking you, but this shit won't go away." You restated

  Nope. He clearly just heard you say that.

  He doesn’t understand what’s so different about today. Yall have been in this scenario multiple times taking care of each other, sometimes including another into the mix.  

You didn’t understand either. You just felt like the time was right, even though you know it wasn’t the best idea to confess while you were drunk off your ass.

But you couldn’t help it, your feelings overflowing, which you never until this day let get the best of you, being vulnerable and trusting is not your usual . Youve never even had a crush on anyone, him being to only in your whole life to make you blush.

  Who you been vibin' wit and why I can't make you mine?

  You should have seen the signs that you feel for him when he helped that lady that lives down the street from him set up her Christmas lights or when he first met your dog that wasn’t fond of men, but it instantly liked him. And you loved his selflessness it was something you admired and applauded.

  “y/n” He tries talking you down, making sure you weren’t just saying this because of alcohol, deep down knowing he felt the same, you always being in the back of his mind.

You were generous with your time too, always being there for him. You knew he was softer than he appeared, he was tender, sensitive and vulnerable. He tried his hardest to not get into situations where anyone would get hurt, like breakups, arguments, and so on.

Which is why he won’t make the first move. He pushes his feelings to the back of his head. He values your friendship more than anything, but he can see what develops. If love is meant to be, it will happen.

I told you I am down for the worse or the better. But I keep sticking to you cause them four stupid letters

    “You make me so happy. And I’ll always care about you. Okay? He says breaking the silence, trying to reassure you.  

  “You mean so much to me—something I can’t even put into words because nothing can compare- I’ve wanted you since that day you tripped and bust your ass in the school hallway I still want you even though you drive me insane.”

  “Iss-“ You tried to get out only to have him continue talking over you.

  "I love that you can’t leave the house without a jacket. I love the wrinkles that appear on your forehead after you call me crazy. I love that it takes you hours to get ready. I love that you always know how to make me feel better. I love that even when you don’t agree with my decisions you always trust me to make them.  I love that when I spend a day with you, I can still smell you on my clothes; and I love that you are the last person I think of  before I go to sleep at night."

  You stood there awestruck for what feels like eternity until you mustered the bravery to speak “I didn’t expect you to feel the same way-” You said, being dumbfounded because from what you’ve seen treats everyone “nice”, were you really getting special treatment?

  He tilts your chin up, locking his dark eyes with yours. “Baby I don’t know if your notice but you and Makki are my only people that aren’t my family that call me my first name.”

He has a point. You think pushing yourself more into him, trying to fuse your bodies together to hide, not relaxing what you were doing to him. He tries to nudge your legs to the side but you won’t let go still clinging onto him.

“fuck” He groans. You pulling back wondering why until you looked down and noticed. A smirk appeared on your face as you reattached your self to him like velcro. You were feeling bold, the liquid courage still in your system driving you to slide your fingers down his chest, looking him in the eyes before stopping at his waistband.  

He knows what you’re doing, him being in this position multiple times. Does he really want to ruin your friendship like this? He hasn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend. He tries to push you off him already knowing you were gonna complain. But what he didn’t expect was for you to whimper out his name in that pretty voice of yours.

 He tried to keep his calm, blood already rushing down. “You know what you’re doing”

“yeah” You start.

“y’don’t want me?” Giving him your pouty face that you know he’s weak for, hoping that’ll work, insecurity piling up. Was it because your boobs weren’t that big or that fact that you were dressed like man? Was he not attracted to you right now, only liking you when you were dolled up?

“Fuck” You think. You should have worn something cute instead of dressing like a whole ass man even with your makeup fully done. Its not like you were supposed to know you were gonna get fucked today.

His were burning holes into you now, thinking of how to say “No, I would be more that happy to fuck you!” to his best friend, soon regaining his consciousness finally speaking.

“Fuck no doll, ive wanted you for a minute. You know me better than I know myself. How did you not notice my feelings?”

 You got me singing love songs, love songs, love songs

“You’re really hard to read” You replied trying to maintain your seductive act, resting your hands back on his chest.

“So are you.” He said lowering his head, you still looking up at him, taking in your gleaming eyes.

Sex ain't the only thing that's on my mind But you get me so excited, whoa

Your heart was beating so wildly that you could only take little sips of breath. His hands running down your waist stopping at your hips.

“Can I kiss you?" He asks "...yeah” you attempted to say as confidently as you could, nodding your head along with it.

His face bent down, hot mouth breathing over you. His lips slowly moved, brushing over yours, the liquor on his lips that you hated; only choosing fruity drinks even though you got relentlessly teased you for it.  You pushed further into the kiss desperately wanting more. Your teeth clicking his from being impatient, wanting to suck him in. Your hands sliding under his shirt subconscious desires reaching out.

Irreplaceable Tattoos from your neck that drop down to your ankles

“You’re drunk…” he says snapping you out of your trance.

“So are you.”

He dove in for another kiss much more passionate than the previous one, arguably needy, pusing you on the bed to which you more than happily comply. He tugs back not letting his mind get the best of him, disconnecting your spit trial leaving you panting. “You sure this alright?” He says deep down hoping you still say yes.

  You pull him back for your answer, your grabby little hands working their way back up his shirt. He gets the hint and pauses your lips rendezvous, taking off the turtleneck that he looked oh so good in, before seeing his unclothed body.  You’re admiring his body in a new way, before just complimenting him whenever he got a new tattoo, now up under him tracing them like a lovestruck teenager.

“When did you get this one?” You quietly ask, his ears closer to you than they’ve ever been.

“I got it that day you faked sick”

“What! You said were gonna take me!” You sulked, turning your head away from his as much as you could, crossing your arms.

He let out a slight laugh before gently taking your face in his hands, guiding you back into the kiss.

This is not really what he imagined for your first time. He’s an old-fashioned romantic who likes to take one step at a time. But then again nothing was ever normal with you. That said, when he falls in love, he falls deep.

“You’ve done this before?” You uttered.

“Hmm?” He mumbles, unmoving his lips from you kissing you, moving towards your neck.

“You still with that other girl?”

“No. I broke it off her, everything that came out of her mouth was bullshit, and no she wasn’t my girlfriend.”

“You didn’t trust her? You added. Trying to distract him until you could think of a way you could say “hey in my 21 years of life I’ve never got passed kissing a guy.”

“Our relationship was purely built on lies, I’d second guess everything she said. He replied, wondering if you were interrogating him.

“Why’d you wanna know?” He asked bringing his face up from your skin.

“…No one’s ever touched me like this, fuck.” You bashfully admitted, thoughts racing through your head that he didn’t want you anymore because you weren’t experienced.

But he knew what was running through that pretty head of yours, his fingers reaching out to with your hair trying to comfort you.

“You’re a virgin?” He curiously asked dragging his hand to your cheek, you leaning into it.

“y-yeah” you muttered trying to move your eyes away from his looking down at his body.

“I thought you had a boyfriend before” he said, softly turning your jaw to make you look at him. Your eyes diverted from his arms back to his eyes.

“We weren’t actually dating” You quickly say trying to clear up the misunderstanding. “He was my friend and seatmate that pretended to be my fake boyfriend to get me out of some trouble” you spewed out “and I guess I forgot to tell everyone that it was fake.”

“Even if we were that doesn’t mean we fucked.” You sheepishly replied.

“So… what trouble did your fake boyfriend get you out of.” He questioned knowing how much trouble it must have been for you, miss independent, to go to such lengths.

“Umm, well…this guy wouldn’t stop flirting with me even after I told him I don’t like him, even following me to my other classes.”

He wasn’t surprised, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes, in fact the prettiest thing he’s laid his eyes on, your beaming eyes, your dimple when you smiled, your pretty face, your “ugly” laugh, he could go on for days.

“Why are we talking about this” You whined, reaching your hand back out to him.

He took a hint and continued kissing you, bringing you closer to him while you attempted to take you shirt off. His hands helping you seeing as that you were struggling, being lost in his touch, finishing by moving you up more on you bed, pushing your plushies out of the way, to your protested because “they had feelings too.”

He ignored you, bending down to pull your panties off stopping once he saw the slick coming through them.

“Fuck baby you’re wet” He breathed dragging his fingers across your clothed slit earing a whimper from you, leaving his fingers drenched.

 Shawty, you wanna feel good, I wanna feel good too Don't I make you feel good?

“M’always wet.” you responded.

From what? He questions taking off your soaked cotton panties, tossing them to the side.

“From me?” He smirks bringing his hand back towards your heat. You not even comprehending what he just said, just knowing that you’re ashamed of how worked up you were getting.

You were in awe. You’ve always known his hands were big, but in this situation your mind wondered. His fingers were so much bigger than yours knowing you can barely fit two inside your with out it hurting, and not in a good way.

“Do you know how pretty you are? It’s honestly distracting.”. He says kissing down your whole body, stopping at your breasts, licking lazily around and coming back to the nub. The attention on your nipples making you squirm and he finally lets go, you grateful that he stopped or you would have almost cum, how embarrassing.

“I thought you said were gonna get them pierced” He remembered, you going on a whole rant about how cute they were.

“You said u were gnna get em with me” You looked back on, reminding yourself making him promise to get them with you because you were too scared of the pain.

“That was the same day you played sick and I got that tattoo.” He stated lightening the mood, hoping you can calm yourself down before you actually embarrass yourself.

He picks back up and continues kissing all the way down your body, you playing with his hair while biting your lip to muffle your moans and whine until he reaches your entrance.

He parted your legs, your pussy laid out before him, believing you no have reason to be shy about it either. He paused, admiring your swollen cunt and puffy clit, you were beautiful.

The feeling that he didn't want anyone else ever in his position overtook him. He let out a little breath on your clit and you thrashed around. He wasn't going to play. “I’ll take care of you.”

His lips travel over your skin, light and heated before settling himself between your legs, grabbing you by your thighs and dragging you closer. “That tickles.” you giggle, nerves making you kick your legs, almost hitting him in the face before he grabs them. He puts them down locking your legs with his arms, lowering himself until he’s on the ground facing you.

“Does it make you nervous when I stare?” he teases while your covering your face trying to hide the blush he caused.  He puts his mouth on you, quickly gripping your thighs, his hands leaving imprints in your skin dragging you even more into him, deprived kisses taking over your body. 

“yer so pretty” You purred seeing the sight of his big build between your legs, your fingers grabbing onto his curly dark locks, tugging them.

  Issei moans, his voice radiating through your body, forcing out a cry, blessing him with your pretty voice. “I-Issei!” You cry, never feeling like this before, your vibrator and hands doing it no justice.

“Shh, just look at me, doll.”

You can barely make out what he says, so drunk on pleasure. You try your best, doing anything to see the pretty man beneath you. But you get interrupted by your pleasure, your back arching not being able to control your body, grinding down to meet his lips, heat rising in you.

He kisses through your wetness playing with your bud. You choking on your spit, back arching again your body tensing up. “Issei,” You beg, grabbing him knowing what you want but not being able to express it. Luckily he can read you like an open book, knowing what you want, driving you over the edge as he makes you see stars. “Good girl,” he sighs when he feels you let go of his wrist letting him bring you your first orgasm.

“Look at your thighs shaking so much.” He teasingly cooed, wrapping his hands around them, bringing you out of your daze.

Shawty, your body is so exciting

Arching your back into the blankets, letting out a whine “Want your fingers.”.

He lets out a condescending laugh. “You need to learn to be patient. You just came and you’re already so eager for more?”

But by the time he finished your body went limp, you were totally weak, body loose-limbed and pliant. Your mind clouded by lust and deep in your own world. You gasped out a little sob, unable to comprehend anything beyond the discomfort and the need to have it gone. You can’t think straight all you can do is take action, grabbing his arm him easing his fingers into to you.

It’s not too tight, is it?” you ask clenching around his fingers.

 “Just relax… let yourself feel it” He says barely being able to move in you. Fuck so were so tight.

“I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” He added starting to thrust them inside you, making you let out a string of moans.

“Look how good you take it.”  

“Fuck, you’re so messy.” He groaned feeling the slick running down his hands, before taking them out.

“Issei-i,” You cried when he pulled away, pleasure leaving you, tears coming back.

  He shushes you easily, his fingers wiping your tears. You were so precious to him, your moans music to his ears.  He slows down repositioning his fingers, making you let out a whimper squeezing around them. Your brains so crowded you can’t focus, can’t gather the strength to speak when he thrust them faster inside you.

  Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you fell back, fingers curling inside you, chanting his name over and over, incoherent words coming out of your mouth begging for more. 

You pussy tightens as you cum, unable to breath, letting out gasps and whines. Him still fucking you, fingers not stopping, pushing them in and out relentlessly feeling both pain and pleasure. You lay there, wet in your own cum not giving yourself a break before you went and got what you really wanted, his cock.

His eyes followed the movement of your hands as they pushed down his boxers, revealing the length of his cock, that jutted proudly from his hips. He was so pretty, so virile and handsome. Wondering how lucky you were to be in such a position with him.

You pushed away those thoughts and focused on him, pulling him forward gently, but he followed his encouragement. One of his hands tilted his cock down toward your lips. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”

You parted them instantly, tongue sliding slightly outward, and then you whimpered as the warm weight of his cock slid into your mouth. You let your eyes flutter closed and swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock not knowing exactly what you were doing, but it was working, tasting the salty tang of the precum that wept from his leaking slit. You moved your tongue as the he put his hand into your hair, gripping the strands and pushing deeper into his mouth.

“You look so good on your knees like that. “He says meeting your eyes once again, almost cumming from the picture below him.

“Slowly, baby, I’m not going anywhere.” He says slowing you down by grabbing your hair, making a pace that you follow.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby, just like that.” Seeing that sinful look in your eyes with your redden swollen lips.

You moan feeling yourself drip down your thighs, getting even wetter giving him head. Trying to ease the discomfort by closing your legs, griding them together, trying to find some friction. Your ears hearing “That’s so fucking hot.” watching the scene unfold beneath him.

Your jaw hurts, trying got make him cum faster using your hands and lips together hollowing your cheeks. “Oh fuck, oh, Jesus, fuck yes, there, just like that, fucking Christ" he groans out, his voice sounded beautiful to your ears, knowing he was about to cum.

He finally lets go cumming in your mouth, you swallowing it all, trying not to wince at the taste. “Did I do good” You ask waiting for his reply. Your doll eyes, so red and worn out looking up at him for approval. Fuck he was whipped.

“Yeah…fuck baby”

I love when you get on top and you ride it

You get back under him, his cock resting on you, drenched and clenching around nothing, resting in your cum. You working yourself up against him.

“What makes you think I’m going to fuck you?” He says to your complaint.

“You’re not ready yet.” he mumbles against your whining. Spreading your legs, slapping your clit a few times before letting his cock rest on your folds. Finally getting “seated” he picks up your legs and puts them both on one of his shoulders your thighs warming his cock, your knees touching his cheek not moving, getting a kick out of how desperate your were for him.

“s-stop being mean” You cried reaching out for him to come closer, needing affection after all you’ve been though.

“Aww, poor baby, you want me to take care of it for you? He says leaning into you, reaching your kiss, tasting the remnants of the cum in your mouth.

He plundered your mouth and slowly teased his cock over your entrance, catching it against your clit and making you whimper into the kiss, clearly wanting to be fucked. Your kiss turned you sucking on Issei’s tongue and lips, biting the swollen pout until his lips were red and puffy. He pulled back and looked down at you, a beautiful mess under him.

His fat cock head pushed between your folds. The moan escaping both of your lips was primal. You were turned on beyond imagination and the way he was thrusting forward, spreading his leaking precum on your wet clit was almost too much. He quickly picked up his pace fucking your folds, his warm head brushing against your clit with every movement, but your greedy self wanted more.

The fact that he made you cum so easily made you proud. Just because you’ve never gone this far with someone else doesn’t mean you’ve never cum, you’ve had a lot of practice over the years, being insatiable, the sheets soaked underneath you from your previous orgasms being proof.

“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” He moans getting your attention him.

You tried, you really tried, but the way he was stroking you, imagining what it’d be like to actually sit on his cock, the lewd sounds echoing in the background leaving you unable to focus.

He taps on your cheek eventually getting you look at him, keeping your mind on him by placing his fingers in your mouth you letting him, hazily sucking on them, not being able to close your mouth.

“Oh, baby, you’re drooling everywhere.” He grumbles. Your spit dripping onto his fingers, the friction of your thighs making him feral, moving at an even faster pace. Your body bouncing with every thrust.

“You gonna cum after I cum on your little clit? Come one more time for me, I know you’ve got it in you.” You sob feeling the puddle beneath you, time slowing, fire pooling in your tummy.  Listening to his words you let yourself go. You come with a silent scream as the pleasure ripped through your body, your nails scratching his soft skin. Your vison fading to black feeling him lose his rhythm and moaning a mixture of curse words along with your name, feeling him cum on your tummy before resting his head in your neck while letting your legs go.

“So good for me, look at how much you came.” He says breaking the static. You whining into his shoulder, emotions high, never doing this before.

“I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” He says. You two laying in silence for an unclear amount of time, him rubbing your back while you rest in his chest almost dozing off.

“Are we still…friends?” You croak out trying to hold back your sobs already knowing the answer that you two were defiantly not friends now and never would be just friends again.

“Friends don’t do this type of shit” He maintained grabbing your shoulders to sit you and him up. You were worried, did he only do this with you because he was drunk? You were anxious that you scared him away because you just poured your heart out to him and pushed yourself on him. You left your head down, tears already coming out to your dismay. You moved your hand up to wipe them but he beat you to it.

“Look at me… I love you.” He says holding your cheeks in his palm. You in awe, hoping that you weren’t imagining it, that this was real life.

“R-really” You question making him worry too, preferring to forgive and forget rather than letting this a divide between the two of you in case you went back on your feelings. You were so overwhelmed, never feeling love until this moment, so happy that the person you longed for liked you back. Yours tears running once again.

 “Shh, shh, it’s alright...Don’t cry.”

You don’t even know why you were crying, the hangover already getting to you making you get a headache. You groaning in his arms complaining that your head and throat hurt.

“Ill be back” he says detaching himself from you, letting you know he was coming right back.

He walks to your fridge opening it to see every drink but water, having too dig through all of them, especially the absurd amount of apple juice guessing it was your “once a year craving for it”. He finally got you some cold water, putting It in a cup and waked back to your room.

  “Issei” you whined not picking your head up from the pillow.

  “Shh baby im right here.”

  He sat down beside you on your bed lifting your head up. “Here drink this” he reassured, to which you ignored not wanting anything to go in your mouth, just wanting the day, or night as it was now, to end.

  “It’s just water, honey, look.” You sat yourself up with his help seeing him in just his boxers, you remembering your still naked, not caring enough to cover yourself. He held to glass to your mouth, babying you, tilting it far back enough to where you could drink it. The water hit the back of your mouth feeling like a shot making you cough.

“I know, it hurts. I’m sorry but we have to” He stated. You continued to drink it, feeling the stinging in the back of your throat, him comforting you, calling you “good girl” which was unsurprisingly working.

  He put the cup on your dresser when you finished, climbing back into bed with you leaning your body into his. “Have you ever thought about...us? Y’know, as an...item?” he said causing you to look at him with wide eyes.

 “Call me selfish, but I don’t ever want anyone else to touch you.” He insisted making you cheeks flush. You try to think of a way to respond, not wanting to keep him waiting.

“You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me. Not only am I deeply in love with you, you’re my best friend.” You stammer out, your shaky hands somehow made there way to his neck, letting them fall slowly before he grabs them dragging you in for a kiss before you got to even see his face.

“Everybody has always thought we’re a couple.” He continued taking his time kissing you all over your face. “Then I guess we should be.” You retort, kissing him back before you could see his reaction, not wanted to be embarrassed anymore today. But he caught you, holding you still “Really “y/n? Like deadass?” He asked.

  “Yes dummy, I want to be your girlfriend” You say causing him to grin swearing you’ve never seen him smile that big, before he gives you one last kiss.

  “I always kiss you on the cheek, why are you blushing now? He teases laying back down, you following along. You just snuggle into him mumbling something along the lines of “m’tired”, he understanding and speaking to you in a soft, gentle voice while helping you to bed, so he doesn’t make it harder for you to sleep by being loud. “I’m here love, I’m not going anywhere.” He whispers into your ear mkanig your heart swoon one last time before you pass out.

  “I l-love you issei.” You sleepily mumble.

“Tell me this when you’re sober.” He says stroking your head.

“Just relax, close your eyes...”He murmurs, your heart beating slower every second. Both of you together, lazy, slow presses. Limbs pressed together, chests heaving, fingers trailing down backs, tracing lazy patterns.

  “Oh!…” He remembers. “If you really wanna get them pierced, we could get matching ones.”

© all content belongs to spikesbimbo. do not alter or repost .

[flowersofjannah]

salaam sis, hope you've been well <3 i just needed some advice/ reassurance if you're okay with answering. I finished university not long ago and there was a guy who i had in mind to marry but didn't really tell many people about this. i wanted to do things the halal way and simply send a proposal after graduating as his character seemed good to me and unlike anyone i've met before. he wasn't arrogant and had a lot of admirable qualities from the subtle things i noticed. it's hard to fit everything into one message here but unlike anyone else i felt a strange sense of tranquility around him, humbleness, gentleness etc. In a lot of ways he seemed to be the ideal person for me and i had prayed a lot during ramadan and throughout university etc for him, if he was best for me and vv. Then when i had my mum send the proposal, turns out he got married just a few weeks beforehand. I felt heartbroken after this as ive never been interested in anyone to this degree and seriously saw myself with him. I know people may think these are just ideas but it's his character that really captured my interest from what i saw with how he interacted with other people/ me (although quite briefly over the years). he also didnt seem to interact with girls too much during university etc/ online from what i've known. ive started work now which im finding especially challenging given the jump from university, not seeing friends on a daily basis, the lack of the strong support network, not having that muslim sisterhood as i did on campus, responsibility and an overwhelming amount of work (which other people working at the same level as me seem to be fine with) etc - and i thought i was over this but every night or every other night i find myself crying about many different things including the situation with him and work related stuff, fears about the future etc. I know Allah has written everything and bc of Him ive been fine up until this point but i cant help but be scared that i wont do well in my job, find anyone who'll love me etc. i feel like i should be grateful for my life because on the outside i have everything and this is what makes me feel more guilty because i feel like being down about these things is me being ungrateful?? i feel like giving up most days and as days go by i feel like im hanging onto life my a very fine thread of hope/ just because i have to. every day i wake up and go to work and it's like im going through the motions, making small talk, laughing when i should at jokes that i dont really find funny, coming home and trying to be ok in front of my family who dont really understand the demands of my work/ how i've been feeling personally. My work setting is also one where i see a lot of unwell people and sometimes reading about their background is very depressing too and affects me a lot. also, i have younger sisters and theyre still in school (but look older than me i guess because of height etc) and whenever we go out/ to weddings, people have approached my youngest sister for marriage to their sons, but no one ever really considers me because they think im younger/ dont socialise as much etc. Of course im happy for my sis, though as the eldest it does feel strange that my sis who's still in school has people already lining up to send proposals yet no one really considers me even though im at the age where im starting to look for people. i guess everything Allah does is for a reason but i do often feel that i'll end up alone - lately ive been wishing for companionship that centers around love of Allah but im also trying to improve myself but the above has made this so hard. im not sure i make much sense here but everything feels quite overwhelming at this point. i appreciate this is a long message that's probably all over the place and you don't have to reply to this, but your words are always appreciated. jazakallah khayr for taking the time to read all of this xxx [if this is off anon please don't post]

Wa ‘alaykum assalam sister, alhumdulilah I’m well. I do apologize I took a while to answer you :( <3

Hmm, you know sis, we humans always want more, you aren’t alone in that. Our challenge is to be happy with what we have and then there is no harm in hoping for more. It is a hard challenge. Having a good social life and being surrounded by people who love you is a desire of every human. Allah created us wanting to fit in, wanting social connections. As they say, humans are social animals. It’s true. I can absolutely relate to you.

I don’t know about your religious practices, but I would suggest to increase your Quran reading (in your own language). The way Allah talks to us is so uplifting and you will come out with a stronger trust in Allah and in His plans.

Would you consider changing your career if it affects you so negatively? Perhaps it would be better to work in a profession where you don’t have to see/hear the hurting of others. It’s tough to go about your day knowing how terrible another might feel.

Sis please don’t believe you will end up alone. My last ask was on this topic too, please read my answer for that one as well (it’s right before this post!). I can understand how you feel, but we as Muslims never give up sis. Keep making dua, and search. We have so many more resources to find a partner now, use them. Try them all. But don’t get frustrated if it takes a while, for most it takes time. Tie your camel and leave it to Allah. You put in your effort, and at the right time you will find someone in sha Allah. Allah knows what we want, “Does He who created not know?” (67:14) and He will grant it to us, He tests our faith, He tests our patience and gratitude. Stay patient, He will answer your duas. Your sisters have their own rizq and timeline and you have your own. Age is really just a number in Allah’s planning. Some get married at 18, some get married at 36. Trust His timing, His plan. He will never let you down if you rely upon Him. Never ever!

If there are groups and clubs in your city, please look into that. Maybe a YM (Young Muslims) group? Or a group in the masjid? There are a lot of community groups on facebook too, you can also check the nextdoor app if your neighborhood has it. I pray Allah grants you righteous friends and spouse, ameen.

[taeyongsbroadshoulders]

B how did u get into bts?? I feel like one day it was all Harry and the next u were creating a side blog lmao no shade or anything!! Just curious!!

oh boy.... this is gonna be a long one BUCKLE UP we’re going all the way back... to the Beginning.... (also i legit wrote Too Much so its under the cut sorry she balled Too Hard)

okay SO the first time i heard of them was in?? 2015 i wanna say?? anyway a ton of people i knew from here and saw on twitter started talking about them and reblogging them (i unfollowed all of them too.. I am Fake look where we are now LMAO) and i straight up was like I Do Not Get This

and then i didn’t hear a ton about them for a bit (bc.. unfollowing and avoiding for whatever reason lmao) and then in 2017 i started working for the football team and we had a group at halftime who was doing choreography and they sent me a clip of music they were using and it was Not Today by BTS??? and i heard it and was like ummmmmmm this fucking... slaps.... no..... and i was so mad bc i was so determined to Not be into them even tho i listened to that clip she had sent me like 20 times skgjdlgjdkgl (again... Fake)

then a little while later also in 2017 i heard Mic Drop and i was like okay..??? OKAY....... they have bangers?? absolute tunes out here??? but throughout this whole time the only other thing about them i had ever really seen was how feral their fans were and so i was Very scared and intimidated lmao but i would secretly listen to Mic Drop regularly... and from then on for a few years i would keep up with them (casually, normally, very much in a completely uninterested way obvs 👀) when they would perform on american shows (like when they did Mic Drop on jimmy kimmel in 2017, a couple years where they performed on some of those new years eve shows) and i thought they were SO talented especially in their dancing and everything but again.. kept at arms length...

anyway from there i would just randomly obsessively watch their mic drop music video and then move on (read: me last year) so i was just dabbling here and there for YEARS.. and i think legit one of the only things that stopped me from going All In this whole time was an overall reluctance but also that i never really saw enough of them to latch onto a Fave?? and you know ya girl always needs a fave to obsess over lmao

so fast forward now to this year when Carpool Karaoke came out... and there was Tae in his floppy haired glory in the back corner of the vehicle doing  nothing but serving absolute face and looking fine as Fuck and i was like okay 👀👀 OKAY👀👀 so then I was Looking and Looking Hard

aaaannnndddd here we get to a couple months ago when I had just moved and was a week out from starting a new job so obvs my brain was like “U NEED A HYPERFIXATION RIGHT! NOW!” and so i sort of just randomly started looking up more of their performances and seeing how absolutely balls to the wall talented they are and then getting to know their personalities a bit more and stuff and then... i was In.... which also coincidentally coincided with my mutual kelly @fleetwoodcherry / @taespajamas getting into BTS and Tae specifically so i started seeing Him more and was IMMENSELY COMPELLED to say the least... and being the most susceptible bitch in the world to cute boys who dance and sing it was a true recipe for a Fixation and now here we are !

so yeah it’s legit been a years-long battle that i finally gave into.. oh how the TURNS HAVE TABLED... but anyway im here now and i sucked in a couple of my friends and im having a GREAT fucking time so much serotonin i am v grateful for them and a lil mad i didnt get into them earlier but u know what im here now and that’s what matters

anyway this was a literal novel thank u for asking ive been lowkey waiting to ~~tell my story and i had a great time fjgdfklg

[inspirelocked]

Im exactly one month and- 3 days on T

I just wanted to share with y'all my experience so far.

This isn't scripted or anything really, i don't have any particular points i want to say that i havent talked about in the past (if you wanna read my previous posts, go through my '#inspire screaming' tag 😘), but i wanted to talk about it and celebrate a bit.

The ULTIMATE First thing i noticed immediately, was my emotions. You'd think that was obvious, considering it's HORMONE THERAPY, but i was not prepared. I should have braced myself for it, instead of careening down into the mud, flailing and crying out AFTER i fell, which made it really hard to get out of. (Also, a word of advice. Its EXHAUSTING. But do NOT just let it happen. It will not just blow over. It will only repeat every week without active efforts to heal and adjust. It's different for everyone but thats what happened for me and i don't want y'all to get hurt. Better safe than sorry, you know?)

This one should be obvious but i see people talk about how they weren't realizing this til later. Changes happen slowly. I promise its a good thing. If things change TOO fast, it could change weird or hurt. For example, if your voice drops too fast, your voice might sound really unstable and high despite being on T for a long time. This is only because you didnt get that extra time to adjust. And the pain is kinda? obvious, growing pains. Just, be grateful for the slow and keep in mind that change will come

Please stay calm, think about the process reasonably, and come up with multiple solutions to things. For instance, i needed more needles, and i was panicking bc HOW THE HECK DO I GET MORE NEEDLES?! walgreens just gives you more so long as you are on file or whatever. Its not as big of a deal as you're probably thinking. Its terrifying. I know. But it's OKAY. think of which days you can go, so if you are too scared one of the days you have other options. Or something simple like that.

Document as much as you can. I recorded a few clips of me singing before starting T, and every day i record a short clip where i just say one word of Allstar by Smashmouth. It'll be cool to listen to my voice change throughout the song when its all put together after like, 400 something days. I've accidentally missed a few days, but i just made up for it the next day by getting creative with how i film the clips. Its fine. Just do your best. Record random things, like pictures of you standing or sitting, or your jawline or whatever else. Just take pictures/videos of what you'll want to remember the differences in because that part of you is never coming back.

Just stay informed on whats coming. Remember your hormone cycle is nothing to be afraid of but be aware that it affects you and make adjustments to your life. Have a support system if you can build one. Please.

Rest is important. Mind and body are 100% different things, but they directly affect each other. Make sure to take care of both, the most important version of care for both together is rest. Be gentle.

OH I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THIS ONE. BODY/GENDER EUPHORIA IS SO STRANGE. I've had strong dysphoria since long before i even knew what trans was, or that it was a thing. Euphoria changes how you feel and how you view things. They always say it can change your sexuality, and i was like "mmm ok but that definitely wont happen to me. Theres no way i don't know that part of myself just because im like, a little dysphoric." NOPE I WAS WRONG. Apparently i was way more dysphoric than i realized, which is saying something bc sO MUCH was alleviated, but so much remains. And it wasnt til lately that ive started actually considering that maybe im not what I've been thinking i am. I wanna remind you that it's okay. Its 100% as fine to rediscover yourself and switch labels as it was when you first figured out. You're changing. It's okay to let yourself change

Everything is temporary, and that's okay. Change is positive in ways you arent aware of yet, no matter the negative parts of said change. You'll see one day. And thats something I've struggled with.

THIGHS BRUISE. PLEASE WRITE DOWN THE EXACT ORDER AND EXACT DIRECTIONS YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE DOING SHOTS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. GOD IT HURTS TO INJECT TWICE BECAUSE YOU ACCIDENTALLY LEFT AIR IN THE NEEDLE. JUST GO SLOW BC MY THIGH IS BRUISED. IT. HURTS. GOD

Be safe out there. This is me in these boots i got when i was like, 8 because "I've always wanted to own a pair of boots." And ive worn them twice. Once when i got them, and once for that picture. Which hUrt.

I was cleaning out my old stuff in my closet when i found them. :>

Message me if you have any questions. 💜🏳️‍🌈

Good luck, loves

[doctormage]

hi i just need to be really dramatic and long winded bc if i dont get it Out im going to fucking explode

ive actually been trying really hard this semester with my thesis and its REALLY fucking difficult for me. my depression makes me catatonic and unable to complete simple tasks or be motivated to do literally anything; my anxiety paralyzes me at the slightest unexpected change and then obsess over whether everyone in my life hates me because of my anxiety; my sleep schedule is constantly fucked and my doctor is unhelpful; my bdd will sidetrack me from my work and responsibilities for literal hours or days, and sometimes if its feeling spicy send me on a full scale fucking breakdown; and my adhd makes all this shit worse on TOP of all the NORMAL adhd shit. like thats just!!! my life!!!! at all times!!!!! and there have been several times where i have genuinely considered leaving this program or not continuing school after bc i was so fucking overwhelmed and exhausted and scared but i didnt!!! like i make a lot of jokes about procrastinating and wasting my time and doing the least and whatever but in reality its really fucking difficult for me even when im medicated!!! but i dont like admitting that bc of all my exhausting childhood baggage and shit but that is not the point of this rant so anyway

this semester i made a specific effort to try and be a better student even tho all of this stuff has been exacerbated by grad school. i felt i owed it to my director and one of my committee members because theyve been so fucking helpful and put their faith in me and took a lot of their time to help me. i wanted to show them i was worthy of it and capable of being a good student who does all the shit she’s supposed to do, does it well, and does it on time. i overloaded my fall semester and nearly lost my goddamn mind JUST to have a lighter class load this semester so i could focus most of my time on my thesis (like for real that was actually incredibly stupid of me. i lost almost 30 pounds from september to december without conscious effort just because i was so fucking stressed. not a brag and actually kind of concerning bc that has LITERALLY never happened to me). it has been like....significantly taxing, but i wanted to show them how much i appreciate their time and effort and help by being responsible and respectful. my Trying Hard is a lot of people’s Barely Doing Their Best and i know that. turning something in 2 hours early is below average for some but for me, literally anything more than 30 minutes before its due is an actual goddamn miracle. but i wanted to work hard and do things right for my committee members because they deserve it

this christmas my parents asked what i wanted and the ONLY thing i asked for was help with my library dues. last year from like march to october i was significantly depressed and entirely out of my head, and i racked up some pretty bad overdue fees. i didnt even ask them to pay all of it, just some of it. less than $100. im really truly grateful for the gifts they DID get me, but i didnt ask for them for any of it, and my overdue fees were left alone. i was under the impression that they got paid and, like a fucking idiot, i didnt check up on it to confirm. ive been so hell deep in my thesis and teaching and grading and applying to phd programs and looking for apartments and shit that it really just slipped my fucking mind!!! crazy!!!!

today i was in crisis bc i thought i fucked up with scheduling my defense/exam/whatever the fuck. im going to call it defense and i dont give a shit bc everyone calls it some other shit and i dont CARE. anyway i really thought i fucked up but i went and talked it out with my director and it was all sorted out. i’ve gotten like 50% of her feedback on my thesis draft, which i’ve incorporated, and im waiting on comments from another reader (the other helpful person on my committee). we have to run some dumbass software before scheduling, so i ran it today and tried to schedule it but couldnt bc theres a hold on my account. i went on a fucking....ALMIGHTY QUEST to figure it out and i finally discovered that guess what!!!!!!! its my GODDAMN LIBRARY OVERDUE FEES!!!!!! THAT I THOUGHT WERE PAID!!!!!!! i had to pay them myself which is fine idc but it takes several days to process. this fucks up my life on SEVERAL levels

for one, its fucking impossible to get a hold of my third committee member. she is a vapor in the wind. shes like super busy and thats all good and well but the point is theres like zero communication there. i finally got confirmation on a defense date from all 3 members and had been literally planning MY ENTIRE LIFE around this date. after todays first scheduling crisis i was so happy i was still on track, but now this? now i have to wait 3-4 days before i can even SCHEDULE the defense. the super delightful part is that we have to schedule a minimum of 2 weeks in advance. so now i cant schedule my defense until tuesday at the absolute earliest, but that ALSO bumps my defense date several days ahead. i have no fucking clue if my committee is going to agree on another day that works for everyone bc theyre all busy as shit and we’d been working toward the original date for weeks if not months, and im so fucking upset because this is exactly what i DIDNT want to have happen. i havent tried to email them yet because im hoping beyond fucking hope i can call somebody at the university tomorrow and see if the hold is something else besides the fee, but it makes me sick to think of having to be like “oh sorry i know i constantly fuck up everything ever and im a piece of shit but can we change this date we’ve had set since january because i was an extra shitty piece of shit this time??” like OHHH MY GODDDDD

and the thing thats really fucking with me is that like, yes its my fault but this one time its not ENTIRELY 100% my fault. i asked for a favor and had the understanding that it was taken care of. yes the fees were my doing and yes i shouldve checked but oh my fucking god. i feel like all the effort ive put into being a better student this semester has been for fucking nothing because im going to have to email my committee asking for a different date and ruin all their fucking lives and theyll be so disappointed in me. i have like legitimately been crying on and off about it since like 4:30 today

it so shitty in and of itself but i especially dont want to do this to my director bc she is legitimately the reason im finishing this program AND that im going to a phd program. a year ago i’d barely spoken 20 words to her but she still agreed to be a reader on my committee just because she heard me explain my thesis for all of 30 seconds and decided to give it a try. she literally had not read a song of ice and fire at the time and she started reading them for me to help me with my thesis. in the fall when my original director basically threatened to leave my committee if i didnt change all my ideas, my current director stepped in and helped me and talked me through it and then offered to take her place even though my research is BARELY distantly related to hers. through all of this she’s been so insanely patient with me, super encouraging of my ideas both in this project and in others, helped me decide whether it was right for me to get my phd immediately after my masters, proofed and edited and helped me with ALL my phd application materials, and STILL is in the process of reading these goddamn books just to be a better director. i have lost my head so many times and shes always been there to help me figure my shit out, and i wanted to have it figured out for once. how stupid of me

like bumping the date isnt the end of the whole world but its really not just about the fact that i have to reschedule. i was trying real goddamn hard to be a better student this semester and i REALLY fucking owed it to my director and other reader, but especially director, and i still managed to fuck up this bad. i feel like such a DISAPPOINTMENT and it just will not leave my brain bc im so mad at myself. i tried watching shows and youtube compilations about game of thrones and shit but now my bf is asleep and im alone and its all i can think about. im so fucking tired of being the person i am honestly and i dont mean that in an edgy way its just like jesus christ i wish there was less shit wrong with me. i wish i had any kind of willpower or discipline so i couldve learned these skills and been a better student from the start. i wish i wasnt a giant piece of shit!!!!! 

and now im going to be up late being anxious about all this which means that i will, once again, wake up late but also still be really exhausted, which means i’ll do a shitty job teaching and get overwhelmed by everything and who the fuck knows what fun bullshittery will ensue because of it. i am so fucking tired of me and my fuckery and the fact that it fucks with other people even why i try so hard for it not to. tired!!!!!!!! fucking tired

[uiruu]

serieses i have been thinking of getting into:

Mob Psycho 100 is kinda a given, ive watched 3 episodes and altho theres a second season coming, that would only double the amount of episodes from like 12 to 24. so like yeah, but its not long and i want a long thing

Berserk is a big one, i’ll probably read the manga cause it looks like its drawn gorgeously

Yu Yu Hakusho is another big one, i read bits and pieces when i used to get shonen jump magazines in the mail lmao (does anyone else remember getting those), and i never thought it’d be for me......... until my life was changed by hunter x hunter haha. now i know a lot more about the history of yu yu hakusho, i know that togashi struggled and ended it, in his own words, “because of my own selfishness” because his mental and physical health were suffering too much, and idk theres something about that that makes me wanna check it out and pay tribute and honor one of my favorite author’s hard work. show that we’re happy he is taking care of himself but we also appreciate him lmao idk. i also have heard more that it has characterization on a similar level to what he would go on to do in hxh, which is huge for me. i might check it out

another is Hunter x Hunter itself haha, ive obviously seen it all and i just read the manga from the end of the anime until i was caught up, but i might wanna start over and read it all in the manga, find the differences between it and the 2011 anime. i also wanna watch the 1999 anime maybe

then Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure which i’m already into, obviously, but i’m really only caught up to the anime. i read ahead at one point, but that was a while ago, and at this point im only like one chapter into the grateful dead arc, which is probably gonna be in this week’s anime episode, so i’m not really far ahead at all. and that’s the thing!!! ugh.... should i read ahead in part 5? i love the anime so much, the sound and visuals are so consistently good... idk.... i’m conflicted as to whether i should read part 5 in the manga or if i should wait for each anime episode, and instead maybe skip to part 6 in the manga? i know that part 6 really doesnt connect to part 5 at all. or maybe part 7? or 8 and i’ll try to get caught up so i can read new chapters every month? or maybe i’ll start from the beginning and work my way up and by the time i get to part 5 in the manga im sure the anime adaptation will be finished lol..... idk..... the two im feeling the most are 1. just read ahead in part 5, or 2. read part 6. i got into jojo with my boyfriend and idk if theyre gonna read the part 5 manga and idk if i wanna know too much they dont (tho i think i already do cause of wikis lollllll), they said they dont mind but idk. they’re rereading/rewatching part 4 because that’s their favorite part (and mine too at the moment) but yeah.

i know Revolutionary Girl Utena is good, i know its like lesbian and tackled social issues and shit, i might try that

and like other classics ive never seen like Evangelion, Cowboy Bebop, idk.... im not as into those bc tbh even though theyre so popular, i just havent seen much to really grab me haha. 

i might try to finish the Soul Eater manga cause i was into that in high school and i never finished it, all i remember is that they were going to the moon, and i remember being hyped for that, and it ended not long after, but i never actually finished it lol. its probably not something that i’d still like, i dont think i’d get into pulpy serieses anymore, like... but nostalgia, man, nostalgia

that’s the thing though. Boku no My Hero Academia isnt on this list because im not really interested. it seems fine, it seems fun, but eh. i would have been into it in middle or high school i think, like, and it would have been way better than the shit i did get into then, like garbage fairy tail haha. easily. i would have loved bnha in high school. but idk its just not really what im looking for rn. i want some stuff i can sink my teeth into.... idk.... but i dont want things that are just edgy and dark completely, i mean i just want a little more than just friendship battles and standard shonen. idk. again i know that probably would exclude soul eater, but im already into that series somewhat, and i dont think i can add any new ones like that to my roster haha. also jojo’s story isnt particularly complex, at least not until part 7 and 8 from what i hear, but its just so unique and artistic and special and weird and all that. its different. 

if anyone has any others lmk!!!!!! sorry this was long lol

[studiobeebo]

Summer Daze (Kirishima Eijirou x Fem! Reader)

OKAY i want to start off by saying im really, really sorry this took so long. my motivation has been horrible and i just really didn’t want to make something that was lackluster so i decided to wait until i was more motivated instead

BUT ANYWAYS, this is the scenario for the 1,000 followers giveaway first place winner @ri-leuters following the prompt:

okay so pronouns would be she/her and i'd love this done with our local ball of sunshine kirishima! so i guess they could go out together into a sunflower field or just a normal flower field for a date and just have an all around good time together! also this would be great with lots of kisses and cuddles bc i live for that shit. also last minute request (but you could totally let this slide if you want) but ive always found this endearing; so when they kiss could kirishima pull back for a sec and just freak out over how s/o has tasty lips (prolly bc of her lip balm) and then they just talk about it for a sec and then he starts kissing her more bc "i want to taste!" djkdjdwk forgive me

BUT YE!!! SORRY AGAIN IT TOOK SO LONG AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY RI!!

Summer had to be one of Kirishima’s favorite seasons, if not his absolute favorite. While most people could find reasons to hate that time of the year, be it the sometimes sweltering heat or influx of annoying gnats and mosquitos, he always found a way to look past all the negatives of summer. He lived for the nights where he could sit outside with friends and roast marshmallows or go to the beach to go swimming, and with all the different activities he loved to do during the summer, he was absolutely ecstatic that this year, he got to do all those things with you.

When he first realized he had hopelessly fallen for your passionate, bubbly charm and amazingly adorable looks, he knew it would take time to convince himself to finally confess. To him, you were just so perfect and he couldn’t bare to mess up his chances with a girl like you, so he bided his time and got to know you as much as he could, of course throwing in some awkward flirty comments or attempts to impress you along the way. It was in the spring that he decided to set a deadline for himself, saying that he absolutely wanted to ask you out before the end of the school year, and after spending a good week daydreaming about going on fun summer walks through the park or getting ice cream together, he finally gave in and confessed that he had a crush on you before asking if you would go out to the movies with him. You were absolutely over the moon, having had quite the crush on him as well, and from there your  blooming relationship was almost cinematic considering how well it was going.

On top of how amazing things were going between the two of you, Kirishima was lucky to have asked you out before his ‘deadline’ so when the weather began to get warm the two of you were already comfortable enough with one another for him to start checking off his list of fun summer dates and the first thing he had been wanting to do was to go hiking with you. The trail he had looked up was actually pretty short, only about a mile, but it let off into an incredible field of wildflowers that were supposedly in full bloom at this time of the year. He wanted to keep that part a secret so it would be a nice surprise for you, but he was just so excited that he couldn’t help but blab about it the whole week before the two of you had decided to go. Despite your slight fears that it would be too grossly hot on the weekend to even enjoy the date your boyfriend had so happily set up, his excitement about it was infectious so you couldn’t help but be excited as well. Plus, when the weekend finally came around it was fun to pack up a little picnic for the two of you and it was awfully cute how concerned he was, double and then triple checking that your shoes were comfortable and that you brought enough water.

Once the two of you arrived to the base of the hill that the path led up to on that saturday morning, you were extremely grateful that the weather was just perfect since you’d be walking uphill for most of the way. The first part of your little hike wasn’t too bad, but you slowly began to get a bit worn out the further you walked and you were a bit jealous at how Kirishima was still perfectly fine while you felt like you could take a nap right there in the middle of the path to give your tired muscles a break. Once he noticed you were falling a bit behind, however, Kirishima was nice enough to slow down and walk by your side until you reached the top of the hill and thankfully, the view was absolutely worth the trouble of getting there.

It looked as if the field of bright green grass and variety of colorful flowers swaying in the comforting breeze spanned out for miles and you must have stood there with a bright, open mouthed smile on your face for a good five minutes just looking out over the expanse of beautiful greenery. You continued to gush about how incredible it was as you pulled out your phone to take a few pictures, hoping to save this memory for years to come, but once you were done the two of you finally decided to walk further into the sunny field to find a nice spot to relax.

It took a few minutes to get everything set up, but it was perfectly picturesque once you had laid out the blanket for both of you to rest on before pulling out all the different snacks and drinks you had brought along with you. The two of you sat happily chatting about whatever came to mind while munching on a variety of fruit and other treats and you must have thanked him a million times for bringing you here to which he just smiled and told you it was no big deal.

“No but seriously! It’s absolutely perfect, I thought it might be too warm but the sun feels amazing since it’s so breezy up here!” You cheered, stretching your arms up above your head before falling backwards to lay your head down onto his lap.

“Yeah it is pretty nice, I’m surprised you’re not cold for once.” He teased, picking at a few of the flowers that were spread out around your makeshift ‘bed’.

“Hey I’m not always cold, I just like wearing your sweaters, that’s all.” You quipped, reaching up to pinch his cheek only for him to wince a bit before sending a pout your way as he continued to work on tugging flowers from the ground.

“What are you doing, anyways?” You asked upon noticing he was fiddling around with the flowers he had collected, sitting up from your lying position on his lap to get a better look.

“Nothing..” He mumbled out, though his concentration was very clearly on his task at hand rather than on you. After a moment he blinked, seeming to have realized that he sort of just brushed you off a bit before tearing his eyes from his little project only to give you a soft smile. “I mean it’s something, but you have to give me a second...and don’t look!”

Your brows furrowed in confusion but you just laughed and shook your head, putting your hands over your eyes to show that you’d keep your eyes on your own business. After a moment you decided to drop your hands to focus on your phone instead, trying not to laugh at the way Kirishima flinched and covered up what was in his hands upon seeing your hands drop before relaxing once he realized you weren’t really watching him.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, you scrolling through some of your notifications and taking a few more pictures to post to your social media and him working on whatever it was he was doing, but eventually the silence between the two of you was broken as he let out an excited “Alright!” before turning back over to you.

“I saw one of these on Mina’s blog, but she didn’t really post instructions so..” He trailed off, holding out what you were guessing was meant to be a flower crown of sorts.

It was more of an..oval shape and the flowers seemed to be forcefully tied together in a misshapen manner. However, while he may have thought it wasn’t as ‘instagram worthy’ as Mina’s flower crowns (Which, you were pretty sure she bought anyways), you thought it was absolutely perfect.

“I think you don’t even need instructions, this look like a pro made it!” You exclaimed, loving the way his face lit up like a puppy being praised for being a good dog. Unfortunately, however, when you went to grab it to wear it, as you figured was his intention for you to do once he gave it to you, the little masterpiece fell to pieces right before you had the chance to lay it atop your head. You scrambled to try to save at least some of it, but your efforts went to waste and you were left with a little pile of flowers sitting in your lap as you looked up slowly with a sheepish smile worn on your face, praying you hadn’t upset him.

“Whoops..Sorry Eiji, I guess my hands are a lot stronger than I thought.” You chuckled before continuing. “But It was so pretty! I feel bad wrecking it like that, I should have taken a picture..”

“Hey that’s alright!” He spoke, sounding a lot happier than you thought he would be considering you just accidentally broke such a cute gift from him before he stood up and grabbed a few of the flowers from the pile that used to be the flower crown he had made for you. After picking up as many as he could, he walked behind you before crouching down and beginning to place a few different flowers throughout your hair. “See? Well, I guess you can’t see, but your hair still looks pretty now! I mean it always looks pretty, but you know what I mean.” He chuckled, moving back to be in front of you and crouching down to the same position to add some more flowers to the front of your hair.

After a moment he appeared..mostly happy with his work, but he was looking at you like an artist looking at one of their paintings that looked pretty good but just needed one last thing to bring it all together. You smiled and chuckled a bit when his face lit up with that ‘Oh, I got it!’ look before he reached over past your shared blanket and grabbed one more flower before moving to push some of your hair behind your ear and then tucking the flower there as well.

“There, that’s good, right?” He asked, adjusting the flower bit, but letting his hand stay near your jaw as his thumb gently ran over your cheek.

“It’s perfect.” You hummed, not even needing to look as you words were more generally aimed at this whole day in general as you leaned in to press your lips against his own. Even though the sun’s rays were plenty warm enough, there was still nothing that could compare to the warmth that bloomed in your chest every time you felt his hand gently cup your jaw and the gentle yet passionate way his lips would mesh with your own.

After a moment, your lips parted from his own and you were a bit surprised to see a look of happy confusion on his face as you pulled away from him a bit.

“..What?”

“You..Kind of taste like one of these flowers smells.”

“...What??” You chuckled out yet again, shaking your head in equal confusion.

“And a lemon! Like a flowery lemon!”

His additional description clicked in your head as you were suddenly reminded of the new lip balm you had bought a few days prior as you laughed out an answer, hardly able to contain yourself considering the adorable look on his face as you stuttered through your words.

“I-It’s my new lip balm! It’s lemon-lavender! Like it?”

“Yeah!” He beamed, “Can I taste again? It’s really sweet..” He continued, but you could tell by the light blush that fanned over his cheeks that the term of ‘tasting’ you was something he didn’t really mean to say aloud, but you didn’t mind either way. You had plenty of kisses to spare for him all the time, and after the amazing day he went through the trouble of planning out, he definitely deserved it.

“Of course.” You giggled, leaning in to peck his lips once more in a more sweet, appreciative way as a sort of thank you. “You can taste as much as you want.”

[ofphcenixes]

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

[thattaekwondoblog]

My Martial Arts Story (TKD)

2020.04.26

today i miss my dojang extra... i woke up from a dream where i was supposed to spar but didnt have my dobok?? and one of my instructors handed me a.. dobok skirt?? and i was like? and he was like yeah u right this isnt gonna work sdbsmdfjsdd i dont really ever have tkd dreams (i think bc i usually am always doing tkd) but since i stopped for a bit the dreams are coming out. it made me miss sparring so much :( so below i wanted to talk about my tkd story in more detail. Enjoy!

i've actually always been a martial arts nerd, but moved around/focused on studying too much to commit to one until recently. I was talking to my mom the other day and neither of us can really remember what got me into it. I just remember wanting to be able to defend myself and be/feel strong from a very young age, and i knew martial arts was a way to do that. As a girl I also received a lot of messages that my gender was ‘weak’ and needed ‘protection’, which i really didnt like (it made me hate being a girl for some time). This is why i wanted to try martial arts. I discovered taekwondo when I was around 10 years old at a small dojang in my hometown. I loved the school & the master, who I remember always had a bamboo stick he would play around with when the kids started being rowdy (he never hit anyone, it was just his way to say ‘dont fck with me’ haha). but had to stop going after yellow belt because i was the oldest out of all the kids and i tried to go to adult classes for a while but i remember not liking it because it was ‘too slow’ for me and my mom couldnt drive me to late night classes. I was swimming a lot at the time too (fun fact i almost competed in synchronized swimming as a kid but had to stop due to illness (am totally fine now and it wasnt bad dont worry)). 

I didn’t do any martial arts in middle school, and only had brief encounters when i started high school. I dabbled in kick boxing (which i still love) through an intense week long training while i was on holiday with family, and then did a bit of karate, for which sadly i had not such a great experience with the instructor which made me distance myself from the sport. The instructor brought up a heavy personal life event during class and i broke down (what did she expect i was like 15 and that event was really hard). When my mom picked me up, she shook her head to her and said ‘girls...’ in a very demeaning way, as if me crying because she re-awoke trauma was a result of ‘feminine weakness.’ i have not forgiven that person for that comment yet. she shouldn’t be a teacher if she treats students like that in my opinion. High school was very competitive and intense so i focused on studying and didnt really do sports then.

In college I really want to do more martial arts, but the lack of proper clubs or instructors made it difficult. I then went to study abroad in seoul and thought to myself if i dont try tkd again in the literal birthplace of the sport what am i doing with my life. i had good experiences with classes at uni; the two masters i had had very different personalities (one was very outspoken and funny while the other.. you could FEEL the power of tkd when he touched your arm slightly to place it correctly sdhfskdj he was very nice though). I had to stop because i was focusing on my academic projects though. 

i then graduated and moved to the city, where finally there were plenty of martial arts opportunities! the first thing i did after moving to the city, even before moving into my apartment, was to visit my current dojang. i audited a class and in my head was like ’oh my god i MUST join them right now give me a dobok let’s GO’. I signed up for classes that day. The dojang master (my dad. my father, the love of my life (in the most platonic way)) was a seoulite (we bonded over that) and realized I hadn’t started my job yet so he gave me a discount, which i felt incredibly surprised by and grateful for. I started lessons the next day. at my dojang beginners usually get 3 private classes at the beginning to get the basics down before joining the group. after my first, the instructor said that i was probably ready to go with the group if i felt comfortable doing so bc i already had basics. i went every day until i moved into my apartment, when i had a mental and physical breakdown and got really sick for a week (like.. i dont remember feeling this weak and sick my entire life). 

But thankfully i got better and pushed myself to go to dojang again. and it was hard. it was the summer and i hadnt used my body really in years, if ever at that level of practice. three times a week as Difficult for me, physically. i remember being frustrated that my ego wasnt satisfied haha (i thought i remembered a lot more than i did). but i loved the instructors a ton and practice was a great safe space/stress relief for the other sht that was going on my my life. I do remember that i was ready to graduate from white belt and start feeling better about my moves by the end of that summer (i was pretty frustrated that i couldnt do higher level moves, though mostly at myself). 

i finally got yellow stripe and tkd things went uphill from then. i got to know ppl at my dojang better, started to go to practice more progressively. I got my yellow belt and decided then that i wanted tkd to always be in my life as much as possible. I started going to practice every day or almost every day. my tkd friendships were developing, there were small disagreements too but overall i fell more and more in love with my instructors, the dojang master (again, my dad) and the sport. we laughed so much, sweat so much, lived well.

after green stripe, my self consciousness during practice spiked a bit more than usual. this is probs bc my life outside of tkd was stressful and i was looking at my friend fellow tkd members who were higher level more. i wasnt jealous of them, far from it, i just felt small compared to what they were able to achieve and felt bad that the instructor had to stop to explain the technique to me Again. in case it wasn’t clear, i am no prodigy; i learn slowly and with long consistent practice. the two disagreements i had with my closest member friends (two separate very different reasons; we kept things civil on both sides but having to deal with that was a new experience for me so i wasnt great at it haha) didnt help my anxiety shut up during practice. i still kept at it. in january my school has an attendance challenge where you win prizes if you go every day or more than 20 days out of the month. I almost made it, but got really physically tired & kinda sick 3 days before then end of jan and had to miss one session. i was also mentally drained by life stuff so i decided to prioritize grad school applications and did less tkd in february. but that experience of going every damn day was so fun; i realized I needed to do this so much more. if there was a tkd seminar where they send you off somewhere to to tkd for like 3 months i would be down. that is when i realized my love for the sport, and the significant changes in my body that had been occurring over the past months really revealed themselves. i hear you thinking there’s no way i could fall more in love with my instructors but guess what... spending every day with them really made the love Explode dudes. In jan and fed i also really started loving sparring, even though im not great at it. 

and then... march came. i got lucky to have been able to celebrate my birthday a few days before they decided to close my state down. at first i was still able to go to my dojang with smaller classes and different format of classes that respected health guidelines, but eventually everything was moved online. during that week of limited classes, i got to hang out with friend members and instructors for what would be, unbeknownst to me, one of the last times. one night after (6 feet no contact) starring, me, 2 friend members who also went very frequently and an instructor had a beer on the mats just talking and chilling. we said that we would do it again the week after. and then the state decided to shut down small businesses. i was helping the dojang transfer their classes to an online format with another student for a week (we two were the members with the highest attendance in the recent times), but then the instructors decided they should not let students come in anymore. 

i was angry, i was sad, i was devastated. it was the sound solution to take and all these closings are essential and needed for public health safety, but emotionally i was not ready to let go of the dojang. i was angry at the circumstances for taking away the one thing that i truly loved and kept me going all those months of less than ideal job situation and lost of existential questions. the dojang had been my challenge, my rock, my family. i was especially angry because i had to mourn the loss of it a lot earlier than i wanted; i was already supposed to leave in june of this year. the closer june came the more teary eyed i got when i thought of leaving the dojang, but after the news i had to stop going now... i broke down. i cried so hard and loudly, alone in my room. i realize now it was the first time in my life that i cried because of love. pure, unaltered love. i thought to myself ‘how lucky is it that i felt this amount of love for something and some people’. ive moved a lot in my life but rarely felt sad when leaving a place; i often had made my goodbyes and knew it was just time to go. there were few or no things keeping me back, or i knew i would find those things somewhere else. it was also the first time i had let myself fall in love with something and people only for me. i love studying and learning for example, but when i started doing it it was mostly to make my mom and family happy, not for me. i didn’t feel like i had had a passion that i completely gave in into, a truly ‘me’ thing no one asked me or expected me to do but i just did not to have a better resume or be perceived better by society. until tkd.

now, i am still following online classes but mostly have my own training routine because it’s still hard to deal with the emotional stuff; i dont really do to live classes cause it hurts. it probably sounds strange but ive already done the emotional work of distancing myself to make the leaving less difficult. i also didnt really like the the idea of practicing in my room in front of the camera. seeing the other students on zoom would also make me feel v sad. im slowly getting out of that state of mind though and might start taking online classes again in a bit when i can’t do my regular training routine. im not sure when things will go back to normal but before i leave i will definitely send them gifts and goodbye messages, probably by mail. but yeah as of now i mostly follow my dojang’s videos, do my practice routine, and scroll through tkd tricking videos on instagram to keep motivated.

it’s kind of a sad note to end on but my tkd story does not end here. wherever im headed next I will find another dojang where i will continue to practice. i can only hope it is half as good as the family i found here. and of course now I have this blog! and will continue nerding out about kicking endlessly hahaha.

thanks for reading if you made it this far! you can ask me questions if you’d like! also tell me your tkd story!! its so cool to hear how life lead people to kicking.

[tayegi]

Hey lu! I just read equilibrium's new update and its so good! I have been waiting to see the drama unfold once OC realises that Jungkook likes her. This has got to be one of my favourite writings from you! The storyline is so fucked up and sad yet i could totally see this happening in real life. Take your time to write the next part and i'll like you to know that you have found yourself a loyal fan here! Have a great day!

Ah im glad that you liked the update! And as strange as it is, theres a bit of realism, huh? bc real life relationships are never perfect. and this is such a level of fucked up that it could srsly happen in our fucked up world haha. Thank you so much and i hope you have a great day as well!

Anonymous said:If I were OC in equilibrium I definitely wouldn't have continued or even gotten into the relationship to begin with. Idk maybe I'm too prideful but if anything I would be MORE upset over being in love with someone who obviously cares more about someone else WHILE in a relationship with both. Like I'd have to witness the extent to which the person I love values someone else more than me, be constantly reminded that even if I'm with him and he cares about me to a degree, I will always be 2nd best.

wait really? This is so interesting to hear! I mean, i completely understand your perspective, but i feel like it would be hard for me to resist... Like imagine if it was IRL Jimin and he wanted to share you with an outside party. Could you really resist that? I am an weak bitch and id prob crumble in seconds D: 

Anonymous said:I really don't understand why all of these anons are so upset with the Mc and not the boys as well? The three of them are clearly using each other, it's not just her using Jk. Anyways, I love your stories and this one is fabulous as well, and those stupid anons need to chill out. You're fantastic and have every right to put them in their place! I look forward to the next chapter!

exactly! The internalized misogyny on this site is fucking ridiculous. But all of your kind comments make me realize that these idiots are the minority so im super grateful

Anonymous said:Equilibrium is so compelling. It's essentially a story like a chair with three legs- if one breaks, the whole structures collapses. Each person is only willing on keeping eachother around for their own gain. If anyone should be blamed for this, it should be Jungkook for simply suggesting the polygamous relationship knowing full well what it could mean for him specifically. Even more so, he's the only person "playing the field" taking advantage of Jimin's affection and OC's desperation - C Anon

Anonymous said:Continuing on my last ask. I also can't help but to notice that both Jimin or OC are particularly biased. They probably didn't intend to act that way but they do. But they also respect the "third wheel" of their ideal relationship respectively. Jungkook didn't do that. He intentionally tends to Jimin's needs knowing that's what he wants for no other reason than to keep OC away from Jimin. Cunning John Junglecock... someone is going to get hurt with this relationship built on lies - C Anon

Yes exactly! Theyre all pretty messed up, but Jungkook seems to be the most conniving of them all. I love the way you’ve thought this through and your interpretation is so spot on! Thanks so much for reading so carefully ^^

Anonymous said:Now that ive read chapter 10....how the FUCK are ppl mad at oc for this mess? Oc is dense for not picking up on jimin being willing to sell her for a corn chip in comparison to kookie, but the boys are by far the worst. They should've broken up after a week, with everything as toxic is it is. Both have ulterior motives when they say yes to the relationship. Everybody is in competition. And there is like, ZERO communication between them until kookie confessed in this chapter. It's a hot mess.

i know right??? seriously asdfjlksdfjk. tho i wouldnt go as far as saying that jimin is worse than the OC. theyre pretty damn equivalent. But no one’s innocent here haha. It’s just a truly screwed up situation D: 

Anonymous said:You are queen and I love you. I literally don't give a flying fuck what anyone else says about OC being a 'whatever-the-fuck-they-said' cause mygOD ARE YOU A FABULOUS WRITER. Fuck me Equilibrium is amazing. I'm slightly tipsy rn, but I know good literature when I read it, and I am leaving it open to reread it tomorrow when I am sober, but even I can see that the characters are all equally using each other, and each of them are to blame for this shit-storm of a relationship. Perhaps JK even more?

ahahahaha this is amazing! I’m so glad that you are tipsy! TAKE AN EXTRA SHOT FOR ME!

and i know right? I feel like Jimin and the OC have been played. Theyre innocent idiots. But then again, it’s not like they were forced into doing anything. it was their own free will :/ 

Anonymous said:Gahh ch10 was so intense! I agree with others that all three are wrong to manipulate each other but idk i found myself feeling kinda sorry for Jimin by the end of 10? The way I've interpreted it so far is that he probably felt the most inclined to just go with it and agree to the poly relationship, or at least that's how I read it, and yeah fine maybe he hasn't treated yn quite as 'nicely' but like he hasn't condemned her for also being affiliated with jungkook, but then again he's using this(1)

Anonymous said:(2) relationship to be with jungkook but yeah sorry I'm repeating myself but I really get the sense that he's just been kinda going along with it rather than outright manipulating them both, and yeah his resolve has been kinda breaking over the last few chapters but the flashbacks suggest that Jimin is at heart caring and just lovesick with jungkook whereas the oc and jungkook seem to have an unhealthy obsession w jimin and y/n respectively. Sorry I'm rambling but yeah thx for the amazing fic!

yeah i can see it that way! I feel like jimin has a better sense of morality and guilt than the other two. They are unhealthily obsessed, but jimin genuinely cares about them both, so it’s a bit sad. :/ But you can also see it from another dimension-- Jimin knew the OC liked him, Jungkook knew Jimin liked him and they both are playing their respective parties to get to what they want. However, the OC did not know that Jungkook liked him until the latest chapter, so she was pretty much innocent until now. so yeah. it’s debatable who’s the most innocent, but it sure as hell isnt jjk lol 

Anonymous said:Equilibrium is amazing for me because the longer you think about it the worse the characters get likeJimin at first seems like the purest one but then you realize he knew the OC was always being bullied and used and she depended on him because he was her first friend and he still made the decision to use her once again.Also I feel like part of her feelings for him have something to do with her feelings she came from an environment where she was never treated well and then suddenly here he was.

YES EXACTLY! It’s so hard to tell. bc jimin does genuinely care about the OC, but at the same time, the OC wasn’t manipulating anyone or stringing along anymore until the latest chapter where she finally broke and turned into one of them. So yeah... it’s the lucifer effect, man. The situation will change you 

[survivorwakea]

Episode 4: “WHO MADE THE FUCKING ALLIANCE?” -Chloe

We just won another challenge here on Huamea which is lit. I think we are going to swap soon, but if not and we go to tribal with this tribe I think I’ll be fine. I’m still set up with randy Elmo and Ian well, and I think we could successfully target Joey if needed

Well another sit out for me but I’d say it was a good decision. We got 1st place and I don’t think I would have been the most helpful in this one. Really appreciate my tribe mates for coming through tho. Now I’m just wondering if there is going to be a swap. If there isn’t then we have to sit out three people on the tribe. Aka sitting out pretty much everyone who did the last one. As per usual, I’m very busy this week. Hoping I can find enough time to help in the challenge so that we can win or at least not come in last. I still have no alliances...but I think that’s okay for now. I think I’m in a good place with Jared and Elmo. We had each other’s backs if we went to tribal after the music video but we didn’t have to go. Joey also told me before results that he wouldn’t vote for me if we lost. Hoping that these promises or positive thoughts will continue farther into the game. At least until we get to jury. I also want to publicly own up to the fact that I still don’t know how the idol system works and I just don’t have the energy for it. So I’m just gonna pretend it doesn’t exist. Yep. That’ll do.

I was going to do a video confessional, but I high key got lazy and dont have too much to say

we won again which is great. I truly do feel like I kinda carried the team in a challenge I wasn't that great at, but it was really an all around effort and I'm glad we stayed.

I really do think I am in everybody's top 1-2 on this tribe except for the potential of Zack as well, but I like him a lot so I wouldn't want to see him go.

Nothing makes me want to win like when I have a tribe full of people I genuinely like. If I can help it, i really want to get to the merge without having lost another challenge due to my lost vote that I still haven't had to use yet, so I need those to be as spread a part as possible, and I don't want people to suspect me

those are kinda my only thoughts for now. hoping we don't swap until 14 and we get another round in these tribes, then a swap at 14 and merge at 12 (since my legacy advantage basically tells us we're merging at 12)

justin said he feels like a double might be happening sometime soon, but I'm not so sure about that just because of cullan getting expelled, and I feel the hosts would now elongate it a bit, but we'll see

im chillin for now

anna is ab to check confessionals and i can’t remember if i made one so this is my confessional.... johnny is rly nice to me and it scares me bc what if he is PLAYING ME.... and zack is also rly nice to me and that scares me TOO.... justin don’t fuckin talk to me and bodhi and asya barely do..... u know what 15th looks kinda cute rn bc i think that’s my destiny..... we floppin 🤪

Well, it’s still pretty quiet over at the Haumea camp. My tribemates kicked ass at the immunity challenge (sometimes, it pays to submit early), and I’m still getting along with everyone very well. I have suspicions that we could be switched up again next round, but hey, what do I know?

not much game development, im still attempting to keep my connections afloat in my tribe, i think ive now talked game with everyone and generally im in a rly good position, i dont wanna get too cocky bc that could lead to my downfall. I think that after this round we could potentially swap again to 2 tribes of 8. That would be kinda wild and I'm here for it

sry for a short one

I don't know if I should be sad, disappointed, angry, or all of the above. Losing this challenge was rough, and it's pretty evident the majority of the effort came from Adam, next would be myself. Clohie and Tom put little to no effort in the challenge. As stated before Tom's approach to the game has been pretty lackadaisical. He has hardly put any effort into not only the challenges but just his day to day interactions with the castaways. When I wanted to form the alliance with him and Clohie, he didn't relay the information to Clohie. And when Clohie indirectly asked him he didn't even acknowledge the possible alliance then either. I guess what I'm saying is...I want Tom out! Since this swap I have had my best relationship in Clohie, I like Adam, but I can tell he's a smart guy...so I'll keep him at a distance for now. I really do want to try and get Tom out though as a test of Clohie's loyalty to see if she would vote out one of her own. I think I have put myself in the situation where everyone feels comfortable with me moving forward, so I don't foresee my name being written down but I could be wrong, it is Survivor after all. I'm assuming we're coming to another swap, I just hope I'll have allies going into it, and if not allies, challenge beasts please. 3 out of 4 tribals isn't a good look😬 And can we talk about the idol system, all I have to say is: I HATE ALL OF YOU (to whoever helped put it together) G'Day.

Haha idk what the fuck is happening right now. So Tom can go and talk about our alliance with Taylor, with Adam. But still hasn’t mentioned it to me? Ok 🙃 I could easily vote Tom out here but idk I feel like he’s loyal? Maybe?? But then again I know him more than Adam and Taylor and that’s maybe why I wanna keep him even if I know he’s probably trying to fuck me over rn

hiii! this round went so quick?? idk it just zoomed by in my opinion haha. listen.. we won immunity and i’m grateful. another week safe with my idol so i’m just getting closer and closer to merge. i’m hoping for a swap soon and i’m expecting it. i would love if me elmo and justin got on a tribe together that way we can start to actualllllly work together and show eachother our trust that way once merge comes we can just kill it! not much happened this round but i’m just feeling grateful and wanted to let you all know! y’all are great host and i’m having so much fun. Xoxo

Heading into this next challenge, I feel great. I have a tight bond with Jared, Lily and I just so happen to be in the same friend group chat, and have been talking alot, Elmo is awesome, but the two that worry me are Ian and Ben. Ben and I haven’t talked much, and once again, Ian is preventing me from trying to build a bond by just building a ridiculous wall up. Maybe he isnt cut out for these games tbh.

Well it's either Adam or Taylor. Chloe wants Taylor to stay. I don't really care who stays xD I'm probably gonna random.org this vote, I do not know to if I want Adam or Taylor here. Plus that random ass alliance chat doesn't help

tribe assessment:

jared - out of everyone i get probably the most loyal vibes from him, idk what it is. he's rly genuine whenever i talk to him. i think the fact that we played a game like over 3 years ago means a lot to him. i wouldnt be v shook if he somehow schemed against me at some point at early-mid merge or something. right now i think he wants to work with me for the long term

ben - ive been talking to him a lot from the beginning. i think that he's with me for now, i for sure think that he's going to make a move on me later on though, im not sure when but for now i trust him and i think i can work with him. I think if numbers r close at the merge he'd want to side w me. I'm not sure how well connected he is. I like talking to him but he works a lot (what a king tbh) so that probs hinders his ability talk a lot

lily - she is not the most active, which is sad because she is a kickass player. If she gets too far in this game, that could potentially be a problem, if we are not working closely together that is. She's EXTREMELY loyal and i think that if i keep talkin to her, she'd want to work with me for the long term. Potentially I think that she should be in my end game but obvs its way too early to say that

ian - he is one of the more quieter ppl but the more u talk to him, the more u get out of him and I'm starting to notice that. I think that we have a pretty solid connection over all and I rly like talking to him! he is p different than I am so that gives me good perspective. game wise, i havent had a lot of discussions with him yet but im working on it a lot bc i think he could be someone i have potential with

joey - hes nice. he doesnt talk a lot which is kinda weird. he said that he has my back but im not sure if he said that out of keeping himself away from my radar or if he actually meant it. I am not really sure? I wouldn't be very surprised if Jared hinted to him that I could potentially be lookin to vote him out. I think that there is POTENTIAL of me working with him but i think if i had to choose someone who i'd want to vote out, it would probably be him.

i could be totally oblivious about my situation but i genuinely think that im in a v strong position in this tribe. I believe i have potential (i think) to work with everyone on our tribe which i really like.  This is all based on intuition though so i could be TOTALLY Wrong. The fact that we never lost just means that I have no solid proof or claims. Only my own perceptions. Idw be cocky in this game, it has been my downfall before. I want to be in a mindset that people are against me.I thrive when I'm under pressure. I kinda wished that we went to at least one tribal just to see how everyone here was game wise. Oh well!!

if i was going to be the boot on our tribe i look like a total clown rn.

Besides the fact that I’m leaving tonight, yeah not much is going on! I’m so disappointed that this is how my game is coming to an end. I’m at a loss of words so I’m sorry if you want more I just don’t have it in me

i’m.... goin thru a lot of emotions. for no reason. idk

at the last tribal council the person who i was least happy to be cast with was voted out so that was one less thing to worry about. then we won immunity. which is nice. but also i get lazy premerge when we keep winning immunity. it doesn’t help that my social battery is currently at %10 and i have a broken charger. but. oh well.

i have to play in the next immunity and idk. if there’s only 3 of us competing and two of them are me and justin then maybe we really Will be going to tribal next round who knows.

also i’m really bad at idol hunting. i didn’t give enough birth. the lizard goddess has no interest in making an appointment w me. i killed myself one time and got nothing for my troubles. i feel like something’s definitely been found by now, aside from johnny’s legacy advantage. idk it’s feelin a little bleak bc i figured my best shot at finding an idol would be premerge and i know we still have a ways to go probably but if the idols are found then that’s it on that.

This is literally going to be the most gut wrenching vote. Clohie and Tom will not budge, or even fathom the idea of voting out the other. I'm under the impression they want Adam out, but I'm also afraid of the possibility of a vote against me....so I have to contemplate if it's smarter to tie the vote 2-2 first and then vote out Adam, or to just trust that they are in fact voting Adam. Something else I'm praying on if I survive this round, is for a swap. Because without one, I'll be on the bottom of the 3 with Clohie and Tom obvi sticking together since their original Kanaloa. And our challenge record is not the best. Adam is probably our strongest challenge performer so that's another reason I'd hate to see him go. Tom and Clohie are just so mysterious and vague, and Adam has been nothing but upfront with me. Ugh, just the thought of a tie vote or drawing rocks makes me so sick...I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

This has been the most stressful vote I have had to deal with, EVER. Taylor is a snake but Chloe wants to keep him and I get better vibes from Adam. I am considering doing a 2-2 if Chloe votes Adam and if it goes to rocks, so be it.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week4/s-94KbM

________________________________________________________________

Taylor is voted out 3-1.

[jess-oh]

Reflection 22.4.19

hey journal, ive been starting to think about my life in catalyst and whether or not i would want to stay if that ministry continues in the state it's in. because jason is right. they do expect to be fed and the current leaders seem more bitter than anything else that more people arent willing to step up and just see it as a burden. and im sure it must be hard, bc there's no set pastor for the young adults and it's up to them to figure things out. at least in movement we have pjosh as the main head but they dont really have anyone. sure pjosh and psam are there but they manage their own separate ministries. catalyst is a place where they should be able to relax and just be present and not worry about managing it. and i get that, thats totally fine. i dont think having a pastor come in and take the burden of the whole ministry will solve/fix everything. it really has to come from a place of willingness.i kind of want to start doing some digging and see how Koinonia functions without a "head" pastor for that specific life stage. Or maybe it just falls on Pastor William's plate! And if so, maybe having a head pastor to make the final calls would drastically help Catalyst. I am going home in part to do some research on how Sa-Rang functions as a church like in Holy Wave and seeing what I can see what they do right and wrong and what knowledge I can bring back to Lakeview to help them grow and how to fix them. On the one hand, I don't want to leave because it is safe and comfortable at Lakeview and I know it well. I really enjoy the people in Kidsland and Koinonia and Movement too. And even Catalyst. But I don't know if I want to enter a ministry where I feel like I have to give and give so much and just get so burnt out in the end again. They definitely need a culture shift and a group of individuals that genuinely value loving Christ more than just doing things because it's easy or convenient. Maybe I'll just serve in Kidsland and spend all my time there and with Koinonia instead. I do really enjoy hanging out with the parents and I think they have a lot of wisdom to share. I really enjoy just casually talking with Julie, Ed, PDubs, Jenny, Mike, Sung, even Lois, and the other adults too. And Lois, Jenny, and Julie have been sosososo more than willing to selflessly allow me to stay in their house. And I know they're adults and have a more stable income and there are a lot of other factors at play here. But it's the heart that really counts and matters. I know that my mom is paying for my rent right now. But if any of the Movement people ever needed a place to stay, I would be more than happy to allow them to sleep in my apartment. Really. But I know most of them wouldn't want to travel that far anyway so it doesn't really matter but that heart is there. They can eat my food and enter my home and use my gas and electricity to do whatever. And I also get that I just generally enjoy hosting too so it's different but the heart is there. It doesn't matter that I don't have a stable income or career yet. I genuinely care for my peers and because I do, I'm willing to let them stay in my place. And that heart is lacking in Catalyst. Sometimes I think they'll say, "I would let you do this or do this for you but..." There's always a but. But why? They aren't willing to give. And I know I shouldn't be so quick and harsh to judge but it's true, isn't it? I want to enter a community where I feel like I can rest and don't have to try so hard or worry about anything. And plus, sidenote, it's weird that the life groups leaders arent considered the leaders for Catalyst! They're separate entities! What do the life group leaders handle verses the general leaders then? Is it on Tim, Jeff, and Elsa to think of all the events and organize/plan everything? Why is that not also the responsibility of the life group leaders? Why can't they co-exist? And also, I feel like Elsa is kind of looked down upon and treated like an outsider bc I know Tim and Jeff are close. I'm pretty sure they both went to UChicago, met in Movement, and have been friends for a long while whereas Elsa came as a newcomer as an adult much later. And maybe I'm just being paranoid on behalf of her because shes my friend but at least what I've observed, it does seem like that. I see her as an equal and I think she sees me that way too. And I'm happy to have a friend I can be present and honest with like her. We've talked about some pretty deep things and I'm happy we can. And I think she is intentional and does genuinely care. But, sigh, I don't know. Am I just being selfish in all of this? Because I don't want to serve anymore? Because I don't want to feel the pressure or the need to serve because if I don't, no one else will? I just want to come as a newcomer and take it as it is and not have to worry about making it better and fixing it and I also know I've already been fed myself a lot this past year and I'm currently trying to feed right now. I'm really grateful for the seniors for being willing to feed me but I feel like they've been my friends as well and while I'm sure I havent been nearly as helpless, I think I was able to feed them too. Not as well as I could have but I think I did. We both don't know a lot. There's a lot beyond what our lens can currently expand over. I just. I want to have guidance and be fed again and be given advice and have people to look towards and not like it's all on me to put in all the effort and bring up all of these ideas. And it's honestly just a burden. I want to be willing to put in the effort because I genuinely care for the people in the ministry and honestly, having people that are also grateful for that. And I know that serving is a thankless job and I shouldn't expect any praise or grace in return BUT, it is just my human nature talking i suppose.i just asked David if he's going to leave Lakeview once he graduates and I'm planning on asking Cecilia why she decided to leave Lakeview. And I'm sure other factors would be at play here and I know I still have a whole year to decide and a lot can change within the ministry in the span of a year too.  But I am curious. Because I am tired of serving and giving and maybe it's just burnt out me talking but at least with college, I have the opportunity to rest at the end of a school year and restart things at the beginning of the new term. And we no longer have that option in Catalyst. You just have to push through and be intentional yourself and be the one to keep each other accountable. In a way, it's like everyone is serving just to be a Christian. I just, sigh, ahhh, i dont know. I'm just frustrated at the state of the ministry I guess and the prospect of having to start all over again from square one intimidates me and it isn't something I want to do. God, I just honestly really want to ask for guidance from you. I feel so much more at home and comfortable with my InterCP friends and I feel bad because I'm barely even involved in the organization. I just contribute to the discussions every now and then and show up for our check ins on Wednesdays. I'm just really tired I guess and feeling burnt out. And I know that I've allowed Johnathan, Jason, and Amanda to really strongly influence me this past year and I don't want to be so overly dependent on them or anyone else anymore. And I know Amanda and Jason are planning on leaving and checking out other churches in part because of the current state that Catalyst is in. But come on, even PJosh isnt super on board with them! I think theres a lot happening in Movement right now and a lot of change for the better. We're getting to be much more grounded and are unveiling our identity that fits who we are and our culture. And I really like it. But Catalyst is still figuring that out. I was just cleaning the ceramic wheels and while I was, I was thinking more on this topic. I think Catalyst needs to get closer with Koinonia and learn from them and look to them for guidance. Because their identity is still blurry and until they can figure that out, it'll be tough for us to look to them for guidance when they themselves are still trying to figure it out. I think Movement is getting to place where we can be people that Zion looks up to and I think that will bridge the gap between the two ministries and become more encouraging for youth group students to enter Movement once they return home for college instead of just hanging around with the other youth students. Oh also, I've always wanted to ask Cecilia why she decided to leave and just assumed it was in large part because of work and the location of it but she said that it isnt just something she can answer in a couple sentences and is worth meeting in person to discuss. So I guess this was a very long though out decision and I am excited to hear what her response is next week! Also, I asked David too and he said that he would probs stay at Lakeview if he decided to stay in Chicago bc while he would want to go back to his home church where it's familiar bc he feels he can grow more at Lakeview. Which I respect. Good for you, David! I just had a lot of fun chatting with Joyce and David in the senior banquet group chat and I'm glad that I can be more present and intentional with them and just joke around. I definitely want to catch up and hangout with them in a one-on-one setting again. I think we have and we do just by serving together or being driven home or late nights at Norris or whatever. But scheduling the time to hangout is a bit different, I think. Anyway, thank you for listening to my vent and allowing me to word dump, journal. I'll talk to you soon! As always,

Jess

[colorfulsuitdestiny-blog]

cant afford my meridan insurance

"cant afford my meridan insurance

cant afford my meridan insurance

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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cant afford my meridan insurance

cant afford my meridan insurance

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cant afford my meridan insurance

cant afford my meridan insurance

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How long must health insurance claims be kept on file in Louisiana hospitals and healthcare facilities?

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i want a pug 406, badly!!""

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I'm 17 and I'm due the 13 of September. I have insurance through my dad but my baby won't be covered. My parents make too much for any type of government assistance. I need my baby to have health insurance before we go to the hospital but I don't know how to achieve that.

Do you have to pay for a full year of car insurance if your car is written off part way through that year?

I pay my car insurance every month as a direct debit out of my bank account. My policy actually expires in March each year and I'm sent a renewal letter saying that if I wish to continue with my policy I just need to keep paying it monthly as I always have. Then come July my car was total written off. According to the insurance compay I still need to pay for a full years insurance, that is I need to pay all the insurance premiums up until March next year as this is when the policy expires. I figure if I don't have the car any more as it's a write off, and I'm able to cancelled the rego on it, why should I have to pay. I would have thought that if I'd paid a full years insurance in March that I would be entitled to a refund if my car was written off part way through the year. Any help would be appreciated.""

Liability Car Insurance?

What exactly is it? And can anybody drive my car with it? Like, if I had my name on the insurance, can my younger sister drive it still and she'll be okay as long as she doesnt get into an accident?""

Cheapest full coverage auto insurance?

Which companies offer low priced full coverage? Preferably around a $700 - $800 premium

Does car insurance transfer to motorcycle insurance?

does car insurance transfer to motorcycle insurance?? i got in a accident with a motorcycle and my insurance is way up that i cant afford it. if i buy a car would my insurance be up like my motorcycle since i got a accident in it? or is it two seperate insurance's

I'm about to get my drivers permit. Do I need insurance?

I'm about to turn 16 in a few months. I just figured out that I need to complete driver education and am in the process of that now. When I do receive my permit in a few weeks do I have to immediately purchase insurance? I'm going to be driving my dads subaru. He will obviously be in the car with me at all times. Do I still need to buy insurance at all?

""Some one have tried to make false claim on my car insurance, please help?""

Hello All, some one have tried to make false claim on my car insurance, i have been driving fine. but couple of days ago, my insurance company called and asking me details of the accident saying i had met an accident and some one claims compensations for that. Please advise me where shall i get more help, any web site forums or other options please, I live in UK A Little help will be appreciated Many thanks and Regads""

Proof of insurance.?

I feel like an idiot asking this question but what do i bring to prove proof of insurance? is it possible to send the latest copy of my health insurance bill? or is there a specific piece of paper?

Does Auto insurance go down automatically after the age of 25?

if I drive and small and cheap car...

Should i cancel my car insurance?

I have bought a new car which i get tomorrow(with 7 days free insurance). My car I am trading in the insurance policy ends in September. The insurance company want an extra 700 pounds extra to add my new car. However i have no more payments to make on the car. I do not want to cancel my policy with only 3(free) months left(which will also incurr cancellation charges). I dont want to lose my NCB. I also grudge paying the expensive rate of insurance on my new car when i know i can get it cheaper elsewhere. Can i just leave my policy running and declare my new car off the road till my policy is due for renewal and set up a new policy elsewhere?sorry for such a long ramble. Any advice would be appreciated. Ps. i only have one years NCB so i dont want to lose my second year so close to the end of the policy.. bearing in mind i have no payments to make now either. Gaving a second years NCB would save me a few hundred pounds on my next policy.

cant afford my meridan insurance

cant afford my meridan insurance

How much is car insurance on a 2002 mustang convertable?

How much is car insurance on a 2002 mustang convertable?

Insurance on a 1.4 car for a 17 year old.?

I recently purchased a saxo furio and was wondering what the insurance would be like for a 17 year old with 0 NCB ect. I haven't passed my test yet and I'm 16 at the moment so cant get insurance quotes. Any ideas?

Teenage car insurance?

i have a question i'm planning to get a car soon and im 17. Most likly im getting a new car i don't know the exact car yet. I wana know with my age and a new car how much do you think my insurance average will be. The car is gonna be financed under my dads name so im gonna have to get full coverage insurance so i wanted to get an idea on how much it would be for me.

How Much is Insurance For a 16 Year Old Girl?

16 year old girl Good school attendance record.Grades could be better. Dallas,Texas. Hispanic(If that matters) Mom and Stepdad have Allstate insurance What is the general price range? And for these cars,can you estimate(I'm NOT getting these cars just curious)I am getting a used Dodge avenger though!(: 2008 Dodge Charger 2010 Chevy Camaro 2008/2009 Dodge Avenger I already asked this in the insurance section but I want more opinions/answers""

""Best insurance business (All State, Farmers or State Farm)?""

I am seriously considering becoming an insurance agent for State Farm, Farmers or All State, but I don't know which company is the best choice for me, I am bilingual in Spanish, so I am looking for a company that is going after the Hispanic Market. I have heard some bad things about Farmers, so my decision might be State Farm or All State. Nationwide is doing a great advertising campaing in the Spanish market, does anybody know if they offer agency jobs. I am open to other suggestions. Any help/Suggestions is very much appreciated. Gracias""

What is the blue sheild of california (health insurance) code format?

Please help.. like the number on the card you get. I need to draw a picture and i want to make it as accurate as possible :) what is the blue sheild of california (insurance company) code format? for example if it is ABC123 = letter letter letter # # #

Has anyone sign up for the Affordable Health insurance?

There are all these news about too much traffic to the site, but has anyone actually signed up for health insurance through healthcare.gov?""

Can I keep my parents from knowing that my insurance rate has gone up?

I recently got a ticket in Steelville, Missouri for going 15 over the speed limit. I am insured under my parents name. My insurance rate is so high that if I get one more ticket, then I will be dropped by the company. Is there anyway I can keep my parents from knowing about the ticket on insurance? Can I do anything to get rid of the fine on insurance""

""In the state of arkansas, is there any state programs to provide free or affordable health insurance?

i am a 36 yr old male returning to college full-time. i have two dependent children who recive arkids(medicaid). i have no health insurance currently and am not working currently

Will getting quote for Insurance affect my credit?

I am trying to switch to an insurance company with cheaper rate, so I have to get quotes from several. I am wondering if it will hurt my credit if everyone check my credit using my SSN? soft inquiries just like when I pull out my credit report?""

What insurance is best for me?

I am currently 17 years old. I will be turning 18 in early November and my family does not have health insurance. I was wondering if I qualify for anything that will be able to get me low-cost braces or anything orthopedic. My family makes not that much money and I am currently going to be a full-time college student. What insurance or health care would I qualify for? I have been needing braces for a while now and I am really self conscious about my teeth.Im also a legal california resident. I have been thinking about midi cal is that the right choice? Thank you on your help.

I want to get my own car but I can't because of my parent's insurance?

So my parents have an insurance plan where they are covered with both of their cars and my sisters car is listed as an extra car to save money. I'm about to turn 17 and I've had my drivers license since October. I've been driving around my mom's car but I want to get my own. I've even offered to keep my moms car and give her my own money for her to get a new car if she wanted. I've been saving money for my own car since I was ten. So basically my parents can't add another car on their insurance because my insurance company would find out about me driving it. I'm pissed because I have all the money for my own used car and I'm a safe and responsible driver, but I'm forced to use my mom's car. I'm not that type of kid who wants a new flashy car to go with the crowd, I just want something of my own so I have no time restrictions. I can't go anywhere without my mom calling me asking for her car. I know I can't afford my own insurance, so what can I do insurance wise to get my own car?""

Car insurance help? ?

Car insurance for a school permit? my question involves teen drivers and insurance i am a 15 year old in iowa, i would like to get a school permit (in iowa, this allows me to drive to and from school over the most direct route without an adult in the vehicle)because of the many extracurriculars I'm involved with. my dad was wondering though if it would be very expensive to get me on the insurance plan. here are some factors -we are with westfield insurrance -I'm a 15 year old girl -honor student -passed drivers ed with an A -my parents work at the school, so i would catch a ride when i could with them, i would only probably use the school permit for late night or early morning practices (i mention this because i read that if a person only drives occasionally it could lower costs slightly? ) -never been in an accident or been pulled over -i wouldn't be driving a fast car, probably our van or pontiac grand am any estimates on costs? my dad said that i wouldn't be able to get on the insurance if it was 100 or more $ a year, so if you could give me some suggestions on how to lower it or any tips at all, i would really appreciate it""

Can one not tell the truth when getting a car insurance quote?

i got a violation on a previous occasion, and i can get like 40$ off with not telling them this, will it cause problems? also where can i get some accurate insurance quotes for my car?""

""How much is insurance on a 1995 jeep wrangler 4x4 for a 16 year old male that lives in DOuglasville, Ga?""

I am currently 16 and I am looking into buying a Jeep Wrangler 4x4 5 speed with a 3 inch lift. How much on adverage would insurrance be for me being a male? I live in Douglasville, Ga if that matters.""

Mandatory health insurance provision?

Should the federal judiciary act to either overturn or support the mandatory health insurance provision of the 2010 health care law?

Insurance company help?

Ok so im getting insurance in manhatten because i live there ..... but my vehicle is garaged in long island ..... I have to tell the insurance company ? and do i have to show proof ? if so what kind of proof is there to show ?

About how much will car insurance increase after wrecking a car?

Im 19 years old

Help with Insurance questions?

Hi, I am 22 and just got the red P in July in NSW. I want to buy a car driving to uni. I dont have much money, I just want to buy a car below AUD$5K, is it possible to ...show more""

Can I sue someone with auto insurance?

I live in Las Vegas and I was involved in a car accident in November. There were 6 cars involved and this process is being UNUSUALLY long. It is impossible to get in contact with one of the claimants so we can not settle for our car damages. Can I sue the individuals that were held respoinsible for the auto accident?

How do I get affordable health insurance for my son?

I was in between jobs last year so I had to put my son on medicaid. As soon as I found a job I let them know but they kicked him off of it anyways. The problem I am having is that my insurance at work don't kick in until November and he has to have insurance by then for doctors appointments, etc. I tried to get MC+ for kids but they make it almost impossible to get. I just was wondering if anyone knew of a place where I can get affordable health insurance for my son?""

Liability insurance for small pizza delivery business?

Do I need any kind of special liability insurance for a small pizza delivery business? My delivery drivers will drive their own insured cars not company owned vehicles.

How would one categorize those who will not have health insurance after Obamacare officially starts?

Considering that it will be law that everyone must have health insurance. What of those who will not have insurance and did not for whatever reason sign up for the government plan? How will Obamacare address them?

Do I have to add my roommate on my auto insurance policy?

My roommate and I each have a car but we don't share the same insurance policy. He has his own and I have mine. I just got auto insurance for my new car and the agent was telling me that I should add people living with me, but his driving record is bad and I don't want it to raise my premium. The agent said that anyone who doesn't live with me can drive my car and they'll be covered, but because my roommate lives with me, he won't be covered even though he has a different policy.""

2010 Ford Fusion vs 2011 Hyundai Sonata?

I recently went in resolved to buy a 2011 Sonata at $26, 000 but then I saw at a Ford dealer that the Fusion was $16, 500 on sale from $19,000. I'm conflicted because paying $10,000 more for a Hyundai means I get more features like leather, seat heating, sun roof, more sleek sporty style, etc. But then I can't completely negate the fact that the Ford is so cheap. Which would you pick and why?""

cant afford my meridan insurance

cant afford my meridan insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-pickup-trucks-so-cheap-insure-jayden-cabrera/"

[generouslyteenagealpaca-blog]

I can’t get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

"I can't get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

I am 17 (boy) and passed my test on 15.08.2013 and I cannot get a quote under 4000 because of where I live. Don't try saying its my age or the car I want (Mini One 1.6l) because they seriously don't change a lot. I've tried every car possible with a 1.4l and lower engine and the prices don't go below 4000. If I change the address to my friends house who lives like 2miles away the price goes down to 2700 and if I change the address to my Nans address who only lives 15minutes away it goes down to 1500. I am seriously thinking of putting my Nans address down for insurance because there is no other way I can see myself driving and I know it's insurance fraud but how else am i suppose to get f***ing insurance. Someone please help and don't just tell me stuff I already know.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Help! I need auto insurance fast?

I'm 23 years old and need auto insurance immediately. I live in California and would prefer to have nationwide coverage. I am single, no kids. I'm really considering liability or something low-end because insurance here is a lot more than what I was paying in Pennsylvania. I am also a full-time student and heard that might get me a discount with some agencies. Any advice?""

Guess our car insurance?

Primary driver: 24, perfect driving record, female, some college completed but no degree The car: Something mediocre from the late 80s to late 90s The insurance: Minnesota, metro area, daily 10-20 mile commute each way, we want all the proper liability and personal injury coverage but don't care about collision Seriously, just guess. We'll take any ideas. We completely know it varies by each of those factors and many more, and we already know the national average. If you know the state average, that's one step up on us. I'd get a quote, but my roommate is the one seriously thinking about cars right now, and I don't want to do anything in someone else's name. She'll be getting quotes soon, but right now I'm a little concerned about the insurance companies possibly running credit checks, as I'm under the impression a slew of them at a time can lower your score, and we don't know what car we're getting yet. So once that's settled, we'll check into it for real. We just want to TRY to budget before we seriously car hunt.""

Car insurance question?

Originally I registered my car insurance with my previous address. Now I've moved to a new place, do I require to update the address? What happen if I don't update the address and continuously using my previous address as registered?""

How much will my auto insurance cost?

Ok...so I'm looking at an old 73' Bug to possibly buy for college and all. Cost- of the car at least- is not a problem, as its $100, and I have $100. (Yes, it does have issues and looks horrible, but hey it runs and drives). So...that brings up insurance. There is NO way I can get in on my mom's insurance- she won't let me get a car so the only way is if I do all myself, and I'm 18 now and going to college in a few weeks, so a=Im looking at my options. I know as a male teenage driver its going to be high, but what is high? How much will good grades and all that help? Just, what would you recommend and how much could it end up costing? Thanks...""

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Ok so I just got my liscense and I bought half my trck and my mom bought the other half. So is it right for my dad not to pay for my insurance? And does child support cover car insurance. . .plz just give me your opinion/facts on the whole ordeal.... Have not found job just turned 15..btw Thank you all

How much would insurance be for me if i have kawasaki zx10r and im a newbie?

How much would insurance be for me if i have kawasaki zx10r and im a newbie?

Disadvantages of insurance?

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How much would the car insurance for a Cadillac Escalade 2011 be?

The car is for an 18 year old and two other adults are included in the insurance plan for State Farm.

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File auto insurance claim or pay out-of-pocket in NJ?

My 17yo daughter just got her graduated NJ license, skidded on wet corner, causing $1300 in damage to wheel & susp. We have $500 deductible. Can we ask our insurance co. how much our rates will go up if we file a claim, or will that automatically flag her for additional points?""

What does health insurance cover?

i recently turned 18 and am in need of Knee surgury. if i got health insurance right now, would it cover the surgury? or would it be like trying to get a totaled car insured? if insurance doesn't cover it, what should i do? i live in NJ.""

How much would insurance be for a Nissan 350z?

I'm 17 and about to turn 18. My driving record is clean, no speeding tickets, no crashes or anything. I want to get a used Nissan 350z but i am just wondering how much would insurance be for it? DONT TELL ME TO ASK MY INSURANCE COMPANY OR GET A QUOTE ONLINE! I just want to know how much it would be. thanks""

Do U think it's fair women's insurance is cheaper because they have an 'innie' and men have an 'outie'?

I see just as many women being careless drivers as men. Why should their sex organs have anything to do with car insurance?

What is the best Car Insurance company ?

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Is insurance expensive on a 2005 Ford Mustang V6 for a 16 year old?

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Do you think i would be able to pay the insurance?

so here is the situation...My mom, my brother and i are all living together right now but my mom has an altima and me and my brother are sharing an 05 dodge dakota. Soon my mom is going to be buying a car for her, my brother is getting the altima, and i am getting the dakota. Her plan was for me was to use the truck all the way through college and until i get a good job and buy my own car. However i do not like this truck at all and would rather sell it and get a car. The car i want is is an 08 Acura tl type s. She just laughed and said good luck paying for the insurance. I am willing to do a lot of work to get this car (including preparing the truck for sale and actually selling it) and working to pay for the insurance. As soon as she gets this new car i plan on applying everywhere, pretty much all of the restaurants in my area. I will be 18 by the time i come anywhere close to getting this car. Do you think being a busboy at a restaurant will be sufficient to pay for the gas and insurance for the car i said above. Ive never gotten a ticket or been in an accident before. Also i live in florida if this makes a difference.""

Cheap insurance for a sixteen year old girl on suzuki 124cc maurder?

living in limerick ireland

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I want to get the cheapest insurance, How much is no fault insurance in Michigan""

Will my company have to pay a fine for not offering me an affordable insurance plan?

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Switched insurance companies. the original insurance company WOULD NOT CANCEL the policy. Is this illegal?

""Live in NJ, bringing car to school in FL, question about car insurance?""

I am looking to bring my car from NJ (where i'm a resident) to school with me in Florida, and I need some help: My father is freaking out because he thinks the car insurance will go WAY UP. Does anyone know how this works? Am i allowed to ship my car down there and not tell me insurance at all? Just like bringing it on a mini vacation lol. Remember, I'm not a resident of Florida. Any answers?!""

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I can't get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

I am 17 (boy) and passed my test on 15.08.2013 and I cannot get a quote under 4000 because of where I live. Don't try saying its my age or the car I want (Mini One 1.6l) because they seriously don't change a lot. I've tried every car possible with a 1.4l and lower engine and the prices don't go below 4000. If I change the address to my friends house who lives like 2miles away the price goes down to 2700 and if I change the address to my Nans address who only lives 15minutes away it goes down to 1500. I am seriously thinking of putting my Nans address down for insurance because there is no other way I can see myself driving and I know it's insurance fraud but how else am i suppose to get f***ing insurance. Someone please help and don't just tell me stuff I already know.

Do u HAVE to have insurance?

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WHY SO? So I registered my car at DMV on the 25th Sept, I do not have insurance but according to DMV, it is LEGAL to not have insurance until 15 days on the day of registration. But in between those 15 days, I got into a car accident and what do i have to do now?????""

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What is a good month by month health insurance company in Central FL?

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How much should my car insurance raise....?

I am 16, I've been driving 4 months. I have USAA car insurance, and I went to a driving school. I'm a supertard and today I rear-ended someone.... the cops were called and an accident report was filed, they said that my insurance company and the person's will contact eachother. I'm just curious to how much you think it should raise? There was alot of damage to my front end, but the person's who I hit hardly had a few scratches on the back bumper. I'm already paying $80 a month. Thanks so much for your estimates!! (p.s. i live in TX if that makes a difference.)""

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im 17, 18 soon. (female) i haven't passed my test yet but im looking for car insurance for when i do... but everything im finding is like 2 grand plus and i cant afford that! all im looking for is a small 2001 corsa... i dont mind whether its fully comp or not, i just want it to be cheaper than that! does anyone have any tips? ive been on go compare and all the comparison ones but its still like 2500.. even with my parents insured aswell! any advice?""

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Permanent Life Insurance, Term-Life Insurance, others, ect...For male, 56 years old""

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My boyfriend's nephew got hit but he doesn't have car insurance.?

my boyfriend and his nephew were involved in a hit and run. however, his nephew doesn't have car insurance, will this have an a negative turn out for him??? i don't care about the other guy having or not having insurance...but will his nephew get in trouble? we live in California, it is illegal to have a car with no car insurance, registration, and license. please help!!!...how would it turn out for him??? HE WAS THE ONE THAT GOT HIT BY THE OTHER CAR... his nephew is the victim""

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Do you have to get car insurance after you pass your driver's test?

I live in PA, and I am almost 18 and would only use my parents car occasionally. I read something that if they consent to me using there car, we wouldn't have to pay extra. Also, as soon as I pass my exam, does the DMV automatically report that I am licensed to my parent's insurance agency, or can I just have my license without insurance? Thanks!""

What is the best car insurance around?

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My landlord requires that my dog be covered by insurance - Suggestions?

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Whats the cheapest car insurance for a young driver?

Im 19 and i have got my test in october, my driving instructor has moved away and so i thought I will get a car, and i had recently bought one it is a renault clio grande 1149cc, im looking for a good insurance quote and an insurance quote that will drop in price when i pass my test because many insurance company's rise in price after the test""

I can't get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

I am 17 (boy) and passed my test on 15.08.2013 and I cannot get a quote under 4000 because of where I live. Don't try saying its my age or the car I want (Mini One 1.6l) because they seriously don't change a lot. I've tried every car possible with a 1.4l and lower engine and the prices don't go below 4000. If I change the address to my friends house who lives like 2miles away the price goes down to 2700 and if I change the address to my Nans address who only lives 15minutes away it goes down to 1500. I am seriously thinking of putting my Nans address down for insurance because there is no other way I can see myself driving and I know it's insurance fraud but how else am i suppose to get f***ing insurance. Someone please help and don't just tell me stuff I already know.

How much would car insurance cost?

I am almost 16 and am going to buy my uncles 2010 Chevy Camaro SS with 700 plus horsepower and would like to know how much it will cost to insure it thanks

Car insurance for 17 year old male?

hi how much would cost a car insurance for 17 year old male? with engine 1.4 or 1.6 for example volksvagen golf or honda civic? is it worth to wait a year until im 18 will cost of the insurance descrease much?

Drive like a girl insurance help?

Im due to take my driving test next month (all goes well) and my parents are VERY keen to get the cheapest insurance quote possible (they are arabs, they will find it.. lol) Anyway I have recently discovered the 'drive like a girl' insurance company and after reading through it decided it looked really good. as I haven't got my full license yet I cant get a quote from them, so for anyone who has insurance with them- could you please give me a price estimate?! I live in a good area just outside of London so im lucky with my quotes. I have an X Reg Ford Ka and most of my quotes have been around 2000 but I have had one at 1600 and another at 1795. Both of those were without telematics box which is why im looking at one now. I cant have one with time restrictions- mainly because I sometimes work until 11 at night and I also care for my sick brother who may need to be driven to the hospital in the middle of the night (would this matter?) Thanks guys for taking the time to read and answer this question.""

Who has to pay and/or who's insurance payments go up?

presume i am driving a car that doesn't belong to me, but a car someone let me borrow for just one drive. the car is insured for the owner, but my name is not on the insurance. i have my own insurance, but its for some other car. i am a minor (17) and have a california driver's license with 1 point on it. now, let's say I get into a car accident (in califonia) and its my fault. there is damage to the other driver's car, but none to mine. if reported to the insurance companies and not handled on the side, who's insurance goes up? mine or the owner of the car's? if not reported to the insurance companies, who is responsible for paying, me or the owner of the car? will this accident result in an added point to my drivers license? any other information i should know of? any help will be greatly appreciated! thank you so much!""

Insurance Coverage?

My boyfriend and I found out not too long ago that I am pregnant, we plan to marry before the birth. Will I be covered on his insurance once married or will my pregnancy be deemed as a pre-existing condition? Any info is appreciated! Thanks!""

Is there any way i can get off your parents insurance?

because i want to apply for my own insurance. 17, 18 in 60 days.""

Does it hurt my credit score when I ask for quotes for auto insurance?

I just turned 25 and I'm tired of getting hosed on my premiums. I want to start shopping around but I know that the insurance companies check your credit score. What's the best way to go about getting quotes?

Where can I find cheap health insurance?

My wife is epileptic and health insurance is difficult to find for her due to her pre-existing condition anyone know what I can find.?

Cheapest car insurance companies for 18 year old female?

Cheapest car insurance companies for 18 year old female?

Why did geico increase my auto insurance rate for no reason?

My renewed 6-month policy has increased by $120 for seemingly no reason. Haven't had any wrecks or tickets. I called geico to inquire, and was told that all rates in Texas have increased. Have other insurance companies rates increased as well?""

Is fully comprehensive insurance worth paying on a 1000 car?

I'm a 39 year old driver who's had a full licence since the age of 17, I have full no claims and although I've been involved in 2 accidents neither of them were my fault (fingers crossed I'm not to speak too soon). I'm only buying a car worth 1000 and the difference in cost between fully comp and 3rd party, fire & theft makes it worth thinking about going for the latter as the fully comp is 609 with 250 excess and TPFT 480 with 250 excess. Does anyone know, if I was involved in an accident cause by a 3rd party driver can I claim from their insurance? I remember on my 2nd accident (about 14 years ago before the recent technology) although I got all the details of the registration and the driver he gave me incorrect details and the DVLA never actually found him as the car had been in between owners. However I was put in contact with a type of agency who assist in these cases and I got reimbursed for my car and neither did it affect my insurance. How am I covered 3rd party if I have an accident that's the fault of the 3rd party? Logically I'm thinking that I can claim for my car from their insurance? Any advice appreciated, would you go fully comp or TPFT?""

What are the different kinds of insurance out there?

I know there are some insurance that is offered as benefits by your employer such as medical insurance and Dental insurance. By how do you get insurance such as car insurance, Home owners insurance. By the way what is home owners insurance. I might go to become a nurse I know a doctor definitely needs it but how do you get malpractice insurance. What is auto insurance? What are the other different kinds of insurance out there that is necessary to make a living with out in this world. How do you get some of these insurance too. I know medical insurance covers like doctor visits and hospital stays. Dental insurance covers Dentist appointments. Car insurance is suppose to cover if you get into an accident and I believe if your at fault of it your insurance goes way up and what I mean is it is more money you have to pay them. How would you get car insurance. What is home owners insurance, and Auto insurance. What is Life insurance. I know it is usually offered by your employee.""

What would the cheapest car to insure be (uk)?

any suggestions on what would be a cheap car to insure for a new driver (18)

What is the best way to shop and compare for disability insurance? 30 year term life insurance?

We want to buy a house and since stated income loans are no longer available, a friend has offered to cosign for us to help us get the loan we need. We want to be sure that no accident will keep me from being able to pay the mortgage so that we all can sleep soundly. Thanks for any advice!""

What is the cheapest auto insurance i can get?

i got a v8 mustang, the insurance per year is 2,300 im 17 male""

Car insurance?

I got my license 2 weeks ago and I am getting a car this week. What insurance company would you recommend that I go with? Progressive, Gieco or AIG. If you have any others, feel free to throw it out there.""

New Insurance?

Hey. I'm 16 and male and I am getting my license in about a week. I know that I have to have insurance to drive alone in the family car. I just would like an estimate on how much insurance would cost. I am being added to my mom's insurance through Allstate, with a family car. Just until I have enough money to get my own. I know it isn't the same price as hers but I know its up there. If anyone can help me out on anything that would be great.""

Car insurance question ...?

Who is your car insurance company? How old are you? How much is your monthly installment? What kind of car do you drive? I am trying to determine weather my insurance is right for my age. I have Allstate, I'm 21 and I pay $143 a month for full coverage on a 2005 Honda Civic.""

Which cars are cheap on insurance for a 17 year old?

Which cars are cheap on insurance for a 17 year old?

Individual health insurance with fibromyalgia?

I have fibromyalgia, was diagnosed years ago. I have not had insurance for about half of that time. Does anyone know how to find affordable individual health insurance with a preexsisting condition? I have foun d plenty of plans that will cover me eventually but I cannot afford to pay the insurance premium and my doctors visits and prescriptions while I wait six mths to a year to get covered. Please do NOT suggest e-surance, they do not have affordable plans that cover pre-exsisting.""

Home insurance?

im looking for some insurance that will mean if either my fiancee or i die our house will be paid off in full (this way our kids have a home) im still quite young (38) any one know any good companys to get a quote with?

How much is car insurance?

I am a first time driver, a girl, and I have discounted insurance because I took driver's Ed. How much would it be and how often do you may? (monthly?)""

Car Insurance in Connecticut?

I just got my license back after my first DUI arrest over a year ago. I want to get a car but insurance would be around $5,000 a year for a car that only costs $1,500. Does anyone know what the laws are in CT about car insurance and if I need it to drive my own car. Does the car need to be insured to be on the road?""

A rough price of my insurance?

I was wondering how much will it cost for me to insure a 1.4-1.6L car.

Best insurance company for small startup security training agency and consulting firm?

Starting up in the DC, MD, VA area and looking for an affordable insurance company for a small business training agency. I eventually want to expand into security consulting, but for the time being, it'll be primarily security training. Policy in my area has to be minimum 600k of general liability. Any recommendations?""

I can't get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

I am 17 (boy) and passed my test on 15.08.2013 and I cannot get a quote under 4000 because of where I live. Don't try saying its my age or the car I want (Mini One 1.6l) because they seriously don't change a lot. I've tried every car possible with a 1.4l and lower engine and the prices don't go below 4000. If I change the address to my friends house who lives like 2miles away the price goes down to 2700 and if I change the address to my Nans address who only lives 15minutes away it goes down to 1500. I am seriously thinking of putting my Nans address down for insurance because there is no other way I can see myself driving and I know it's insurance fraud but how else am i suppose to get f***ing insurance. Someone please help and don't just tell me stuff I already know.

""Looking for a cheap new car (2010-2013) with good fuel economy yet sporty and cheap to insure, any ideas?""

I'm a 19 year old male so insurance pretty much sucks. I'm looking for either a new or used car that is cheap both to buy and insure, but is also sporty and fun to drive, and good on gas. Anybody have any ideas?""

Does AAA offer short term car insurance?

I just got my license but will be moving down to San Diego in a week to start college. My parents don't want to start me on a long term insurance plan as I won't be using their cars much so it's a waste of money. I was wondering if there is a short term insurance plan that is cheaper as it would be very convenient to drive this week instead of taking busses.

Starting an insurance company in illinois?

So how would you do this and about how much would it cost? People were saying that it costs millions and millions of dollars. But if it costs that much then how would anybody ever be able to start one? Is it a good idea to start an insurance company or do you think that it probably would not be a success? Also, what is the difference between an insurance comany and an agency. do make a lot of money if you start an insurance agency?""

For Farmer's do auto insurance rates increase with cost of repair for a claim?

For Farmer's do insurance rates increase with cost of repair for a claim? Or is it determined by number of incidents and points on your record?

Is four wheel drive worth it for where I live concerning insurance costs?

I want a jeep cherokee as a first car and I cant decide between 4x4 and 2x4. My friend told me that four wheel drive will increace the car insurance. I already thought insurance was expensive, does anyone have any idea how much more this will increase insurance on average. Should I even get a 4x4? I'll be getting the car off craigslist so its not the cost of the vehicle that concerns me its all about the insurance. I live in florida so its not like ill be going through snow or anything i just thought it would be handy if I ever wanted to go off roading once or twice.""

I have a question about auto insurance?????

The other day someone was giving me a ride. We stopped by a store and when i opened the door i scratched a ladies car. The lady was pretty mad and she took the license plate number and the name of the insurance. Today the guy that gave me a ride says that she called the his insurance and now i have to pay the cost of the damage. Is this guy pulling my leg or can this be true?

Car insurance prices?

Approximatley how much is car insurance on a small engine car (1.1) for a 26year old female I know it will depend on area and no claims and named drivers, mileage etc, but just looking for a rough figure as I haven't got a clue""

How much will my insurance be every month?

I am 19 years old. I live in Lufkin, Texas, USA. I make around $24,000 a year. I have good credit and I am about to purchase a 2005 Honda Civic Coupe, 2-Door. The dealership says I need to have full coverage insurance on my new car, about how much am I looking at each month?""

Is it possible to get affordable life insurance and dental insurance if i am not employed?

.........and if so, roughly how much money would this cost per month?""

Car accident and no insurance.?

My mom was involved in a car accident and she found out her insurance was cancelled earlier. It was her fault and the other driver is insured, but they took away her license. We know she has to pay out of pocket but is there a company that will pay the lump sum for her so she can pay the company little by little?""

Which insurance is better?

which insurance is better blue cross and blue shield or aflac, what is the difference between them""

How much would insurance cost on a 96 Chevrolet camaro?

Monthly? I spotted a camaro for the first time and it was completely gorgeous, I almost cried. it also runs good. The cost is pretty crazy for a camaro only 2,000. My mom said that I ...show more""

How much do you pay for your car insurance?

I'm just trying to pick a car insurance thats affordable. How much do you pay monthly? Also I'm 22, no driving tickets, my car is a 2005, Hyundai Accent. OR AT LEAST WHAT IS AN IDEAL PAYMENT MONTHLY FOR CAR INSURANCE?""

How much do you pay for:car insurance? Home insurance? Furnishing your first apartment?

How much do you pay for:car insurance? Home insurance? Furnishing your first apartment?

Can a Company charge more for insurance monthy for employees who work out of state?

This company who's headquarters is in California, is charging about 45 dollars a month for insurance, but if you work out of state, anywhere else, it is 105.00. This is the same position with the company despite the price difference. Is this employee fairness? Is this legal? Thanks!""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, How much is it per month? How old are you? what kind of deductable do you have? Feel free to answer also if you don't have insurance? also, do you support Obamacare?""

Car insurance. Diesel 1.6 or petrol 2.0?

Which would be cheaper to insure.

Is the nissan 240sx considered a sportscar when dealing with insurrance?

which would cost more for insurance, a 1997 nissan 240sx or a 2008 scion tc and is the 240sx considered a sports car?""

How much is a female teen's car insurance in Virginia?

I'm trying to get one for my daughter and I was wondering if anyone can give me any heads ups.

What IS affordable health care? How much does it cost?

All these questions are answered in insurance policies today, but with this bill, we are asked to support it without any of this information. How is that fair or just? Am I just to accept that the government will determine for me how much I am expected to pay and STILL support it?""

What is the cheapest Auto Insurance Company for male teens?

Insurance company's Screw teens so much, what are some of the cheaper company's? I have gotton quotes from $107 a month to $250 a month and everywhere in between for just state minimum liabilty""

Auto Insurance forcing me on parents car insurance?

I got my g2 but my parents auto insurance company is forcing me to pay insurance on my moms car even though I will never use it. This is in a city where insurance is really expensive and them doing this will cause financial hardship and I can barely pay it. Is there some law allowing them to do this?

How much is insurance in canada for a motorcycle?

how much is the average insurance rate in canada for sports motorcycles? ....per year or per month?

""Recently hit by another driver, got estimate for his insurance company. Not sure I should repair for that cost""

My car is a 1994 Lexus ES300 with 125,000+ miles on it. I would say it is in good or fair condition, the leather seats are cracking badly and it has a few scrathes, etc. I'm just wandering if it is in my best interest to repair this car or for it to be totaled out. The estimate for repairs in $3500.00, which could always go up once repairs start for unseen damage. I'm just not sure the car is worth repairing for that amount considering its condition. The damage is to the drivers side rear panel which is now rubbing something when I turn either way or go over any kind of bump in the road. The estimate does not consider repair for that since that could not be seen by looking at the vehicle. They are also saying the paint can't be matched perfectly because of the fading caused by sun and weather over the years. With everything considered my resale value is not good. I did want to sale this car at some point and get newer car.""

Would insurance be cheaper then normal for this car?

Would insurance be cheaper then normal for this car, its a 1993 ford mustang 4 cylinder auto, because its old and a auto 4 cylinder? Plan is to insure it with the auto four banger in it, then do an engine swap imported v6 turbo, with manual transmission, new drive shaft, differential, exhaust, etc.. what they don't know.. they don't know lol""

I can't get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

I am 17 (boy) and passed my test on 15.08.2013 and I cannot get a quote under 4000 because of where I live. Don't try saying its my age or the car I want (Mini One 1.6l) because they seriously don't change a lot. I've tried every car possible with a 1.4l and lower engine and the prices don't go below 4000. If I change the address to my friends house who lives like 2miles away the price goes down to 2700 and if I change the address to my Nans address who only lives 15minutes away it goes down to 1500. I am seriously thinking of putting my Nans address down for insurance because there is no other way I can see myself driving and I know it's insurance fraud but how else am i suppose to get f***ing insurance. Someone please help and don't just tell me stuff I already know.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/2012-mustang-gt-vs-2009-bmw-335i-coupe-insurance-eric-lewis"