I just saw a post about Lisa telling Dean "if you don't walk out that door, I'm going to shoot you," and how it speaks to the depth/beauty of Lisa's character and her understanding of Dean. And I can't say I really felt much toward Lisa, but I agree, that line made me think: wow. She's genuinely such a good person. She saw Dean struggling with his desire to return hunting with his brother, and his obligation/loyalty to stay with her and Ben. And I think she knew he'd stay with her (at least for a while), torturing himself for not being with Sam, because he didn't want to let her down, didn't want to abandon or lose her and Ben. And if/when he did leave, he'd torture himself for not being there with them. So she gave him her permission to leave; she, in fact, didn't make him choose at all. She was willing to try to let him live in both worlds. It's not what she wanted, but she knew it was what Dean wanted, so she supported that anyway.
Now, I'm sure so many others have noticed it before, but I just realized the parallel/contrast in what she told him. In what she didn't say.
"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back."
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So wait. WAIT. I'm just being struck by it all once more...
5-6 Hiatus: Sam comes back from the dead almost immediately and decides to let Dean suffer thinking he was still dead, and goes off to hook up with the Campbells and hunt on his own, essentially moving on without Dean like it was nothing.
(No it does not matter that he was soulless, considering this is one of FIVE!!!! times he does this in canon)
Season 6: Sam gets Dean turned into a vampire, which ultimately leads to the dissolution of his relationship with Ben and Lisa, essentially robbing Dean of a wife and child.
Season 7: Sam kills Emma in front of Dean and tries to say she wasn't really Dean's daughter, robbing Dean of another child.
7-8 Hiatus: Sam leaves Dean in Purgatory, not even bothering to confirm he was really dead, and runs off to play at a normal life with literally the first woman he exchanges more than three sentences with.
Season 8: Sam gives Dean ultimatum after ultimatum about Benny until he succeeds in driving a wedge between them, robbing Dean of a friend.
Season 9: Dean isolates himself from Cas to save Sam's life after Sam decided the only possible reaction to receiving very valid criticism on his selfish behavior is to try and make himself a human fucking sacrifice.
And THEN, when Dean basically has no one else left BUT Sam BECAUSE OF Sam...that's when Sam tells him he wouldn't do the same for Dean. That if the roles were reversed he's just let Dean die.
Is anyone surprised that Dean felt worthless and poisonous and expendable enough to get in bed with Crowley and take the Mark? Is it any fucking wonder that the first thing Dean did when he woke up as a demon was get as far away from Sam as possible? Is it even mildly shocking that the ONLY thing he asked of Sam at that point was "stay the fuck away from me"?
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the moment you realize that both of them are two sides of the same coin (that being the opposite ends of the spectrum of teen girlhood what it means to care abt how you are perceived bc you are one and how you can either reject the norms or conform but neither way you don't win actually bc you're a teen girl at the end of day and no matter what you do society will always be against you bc of that simple fact) is the moment you better understand both of their characters and their dynamic actually
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oh i wanna shake sam. his little outburst at dean when he finds out what john said before he died....what john put on dean isn't dean's fault and dean is right to want to lay low and stay out of harm's way. and sam, insecure and afraid, is hurling accusations and blame at dean, putting words in dean's mouth, and dean is repeatedly shouting "i didn't say that!" re: sam becoming evil but sam won't listen to a damn thing above his own internal thoughts
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