#but like why was that never shown as... not okay?

[slasherbvnnie]

Bewitched

Mattheo Riddle has a secret girlfriend, it's even secret to her

Reader isn't in a particular house, implies they're not in Slytherin. Reader and all characters mentioned are 18+ and in college! Hogwarts. Probably will be a spicy part 2 ;)

Modern!Harry Potter AU, College!Mattheo Riddle, College!Hogwarts AU

Questions first began to arise before one of Slytherin’s quidditch matches last month, particularly when Mattheo was changing into his uniform and Draco noticed the scratches down his back. The boys teased him over it, questioning him on who was the lucky girl who made them. Mattheo just smiled on and let them try to decipher who it was from his giggles at each attempt they gave.

On the other end, questions circled around you when your friends first began to notice the hickeys that littered your neck, blushed cheeks and meek responses when your friends pressed on knowing who mauled their friend.

It’s not that you were purposely hiding who they were from, you just didn’t want to say who it was from until both of you knew what you were to each other. Mattheo had been there during a party hosted by Gryffindor, things moved pretty quickly that night when you set your eyes on him. He was pleasantly surprised the new transfer student had her gaze set on him, so much so that he didn’t reject her whispers about going back to his secluded prefect dorm. There were some more nights after the first, some more innocent than others, but there was never one important question asked from either side.

You didn’t know if the Mattheo Riddle was open to a relationship, Mattheo Riddle had simply thought you two were already together in his own world. He just simply didn’t kiss and tell.

While you sat in the stands waiting for the quidditch match to start, you were brought to attention when Cormac McLaggen sat next to you. “Excited for the game?” You questioned him as he chuckled, “if its not my own, not much,” he joked as you smiled. “Why aren’t you with the others? I’m sure the rest of your team are betting against Zacharias,” you hummed.

He grinned, “my bets are always against whoever Malfoy is against, doesn’t play fair,” he said before continuing on. “I wanted to spend some time with you for the game, if that’s okay,” he said as your eyes widened in surprise.

“Me?”

“That’s not a problem, is it?” He asked as you shook your head no. “Of course not, I just, well I noticed you talking with Hannah Abbot recently and I assumed…” your voiced trailed off as you looked away for a moment.

“She…ah, we’ve been comparing notes recently. She wants to get in good standing with Slughorn, she says the club seems like fun,” he admitted as you nodded.

“So there's-“

“Nothing between us two, I assure you,” he said with a smile.

Before you turned back to look at Cormac, you noticed the familiar head of curls staring directly at you two. Even from all the way out in the field, you could feel the death glare Mattheo was giving to Cormac. It surprised you, as Mattheo had never shown interest in any others talking to you before, but he now seemed distracted as they were beginning to set up for the match.

You hadn’t waited to talk after the match was over, Cormac walked you back to your dorm after, saying goodbye to you after telling him how you needed to study for your potions exam. He promised to send a letter later that night, to plan an outing in Hogsmeade on the weekend but when the hours passed and no letter was slipped under your door you grew curious.

It wasn’t until one of your roommates came in, going over to your desk. “Be glad we aren’t in slytherin, lost a hundred points earlier,” she said as you looked up from your notebook. “How come?” You asked as you set down your pen.

“Riddle sent McLaggen to Madam Pomfrey,” she said as you stared at her, quickly getting up from your seat.

“Did you hear why?” You asked her as you grabbed your cardigan, put it on quickly, and went to put on your shoes.

“No, but I did hear he spent the afternoon with you. Is Mattheo the one who gave you all those hickeys?” She asked as you rolled your eyes.

“I am not the reason they fought,” you said as you went to the door. “Where’s Riddle now?” You questioned as she took a seat on her bed. “Back in the Slytherin common room, I heard Dumbledore is questioning taking him off the team,” she said as you huffed, opening the door and heading to the dungeons.

When you made it past the password ridden door, you looked around before you saw Pansy taking care of Mattheo’s knuckles as she was scolding him. “Pomfrey said I was ok, Pans,” he grumbled. You made your way over to the couch he was sat on, his eyes on you when he noticed you were near.

“Why are you here?” He asked, “we have an exam tomorrow, you’re always busy the night before,” he said as Pansy looked between you two, dropping Mattheo’s hand as you looked him over.

“I heard what you did, I wanted to know why McLaggen is nearly in a coma from you,” you said, knowing you were exaggerating it a little. Mattheo only laughed as he stood from the couch, heading to his dorm. “It should be obvious as to why,” he said, anger laced in his words. “Obvious?” You questioned as you followed him.

“Yes, I thought it was very clear why. Why else would I risk being kicked off the team?” He stated as he walked faster.

“You are at risk with every fight you’re in. This isn’t even your first fight this month!” You reasoned as he let out a bitter chuckle. “Why did you fight with him, Mattheo? You won today’s game! So why are you so angry?” you questioned him as he stopped and turned to you.

His eyes were watery despite the angered look on his face, “I am angry because my girlfriend is entertaining other guys wanting to go on dates with her when she doesn’t even go with me,” he said as he stared down at you.

“Girlfriend?” You asked, a bit taken back and hurt by his words. You weren’t aware he had a girlfriend. “You never told me you had a girlfriend,” you said, backing away from him.

He blinked, eyebrows burrowed in confusion as he looked down at you. “you’re- you’re the girlfriend. You know that…right?”

You gave him a bewildered look, “me?” you questioned, just as confused as him.

“Yes. I wouldn’t- merlin, I wouldn’t cheat.” He groaned, bringing a hand up to his face, pinching the space between his eyebrows.

“You’ve never asked me to be your girlfriend,” you said, trying to remember if there was a time that he forgot about.

“You have been the only girl I’ve seen for the past month,” he explained. “I thought, I thought when you kept coming back that it meant you were mine.” He said as you shook your head.

“I just thought it was a mutual understanding,”

“An understanding?”

“You know, like, friends with benefits. You never said otherwise. We’ve never been on dates! Even Cormac at least wanted to go on a date,” you said, Mattheo’s face twitching at the mention of another.

“I was going to take you for our anniversary,”

“What anniversary Mattheo? We are not dating!” You explained as he frowned, turning away from you now.

“We aren’t dating,” he said, nodding as he continued to his dorm. “You can have your date at the infirmary with McLaggen then,” he huffed out.

“Mattheo! Mattheo!” You called out, following behind him. You reached for his arm before he quickly shook your hand off.

“Mattheo, I don’t understand,”

The dark haired boy turned around, getting close to your face now. “You seek me out just for fun, come to my dorm nearly every night that you aren’t studying and you think I did not develop feelings for you? On the nights we don’t spend in my dorm, I spend all night in the astronomy tower, in the common room, at the Black Lake, anywhere you want to go for the night. I’ve shared with you about my father and his expectations and you’ve told me about your life and interests and how school was before your transfer and you just think I see you as some girl I only use for sex?” He asked, looking deep into your eyes, his own angered and burning with tears.

“You think I would risk losing my spot on the team over some girl I don’t care about?”

A lump formed in your throat, tears filling your eyes as you stared into his. “Mattheo..” you croaked out, your voice barely above a whisper.

“You haven’t known me for long but I never thought you would take me for someone like that,” He said as he scoffed, almost turned around before you reached for his arm, looking up to him.

“I never, I just thought… I- I don’t know what I thought,” you said slowly.

His face softened, looking away from you for a moment.

“I’m sorry, Mattheo. I just figured, maybe you didn’t want a girlfriend, or that… I don’t know. I truly thought you just wanted to be friends with benefits,” you admitted to him as he nodded.

“I never asked because I was afraid you’d reject me,” he said softly, looking down. “You’re smart and sweet, I thought once you knew about my family, my father…you’d run away,”

“You are not your father,” you said as you looked up at him. “I wouldn’t have said no,” you hummed, catching his attention.

“Really?”

“I wouldn’t have a potions partner if I did,” you teased as he chuckled.

“You really needed to study tonight,” he mumbled before he moved your hand from his hand, lacing his fingers between yours. “I’m sorry for making assumptions,”

“I’m sorry for never asking how you felt,” you said in return, making him shake his head.

“Well….since we’re already here…I do know a way we can make it up to each other,” he said with a smirk, you rolled your eyes.

“You just told me I needed to study,” you said as he grinned, “you do, you still can. I can quiz you,” he said as he leaned in closer.

“You also need to study,” you reminded him as he chuckled. “You’ve been hanging with Granger too much,” he teased as he walked with you, opening the door to his room. “We can study tonight, but tomorrow if you pass, I know a special reward I can give you,” he said as he kissed your neck.

“A reward for me? Sounds like it’s a reward for you,” you mused as he gently bit your neck.

“Are you saying I don’t treat you well? I’ll have to remind you,” he hummed against your skin, making you shiver.

“Down boy, time to study,” you said as you walked over to his desk. He smirked, looking at you before grabbing his books and placing them in front of you. “Go ahead, study,” he hummed sinking onto his knees in front of you. “I’ll be enjoying myself, perks of the top potions student,” he grinned.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Paint Me

Benedict Bridgerton x fem!inexperienced!American!reader

summary: You and Benedict attend his mother's masquerade ball and the tension between the two of you is palpable.

word count: 9k

cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) unprotected sex (please don't do this) anal, fingering, finger sucking, oral (both m and f receiving) masturbation, use of the word daddy, Benedict has a degradation kink

part one part two part three

March 3, 1817

You hadn’t seen Benedict since the gallery-well, more like you had seen him, but had been avoiding him like the plague since your embarrassing situation. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him and didn’t know why you couldn’t get yourself to speak to him. Maybe it was because you had been embarrassed about just what your thoughts had contained. Because It was absolutely not appropriate for you to be thinking that way about a man who was not your husband.

All that you could think about was how much you wanted to kiss him again. How much you wanted him to make you feel as good as you did at the gallery. The way he had made you feel when he had grabbed your breast.

You had dreamt about him every night since and they were nothing but inappropriate in your mind. They all featured you both at the ball that was supposed to take place at his mother’s home where you danced the waltz together before he pulled you into his brother’s office before having his way with you. That part was a little fuzzy considering the fact that no one had ever taught you about sex. You were actually hoping that Benedict would teach you everything that you needed to know about the subject as he fucked you senseless.

Maybe you were looking forward to seeing him at the Bridgerton masquerade ball and maybe you were looking forward to Benedict ripping off your masks as he slid his hands up your dress, removing it ever so slowly and undoing your corset ever so slowly as his lips pressed to yours.

A part of you had hoped that you would have hoped that he would have shown up at your house for you like you had seen all of your sister’s suitors do, but he never did. That just wasn’t Benedict. He was more into keeping his women a secret as opposed to showing up with a bouquet of flowers and offering them to you with a bright smile on his face. That was more like his other two brothers. And maybe that was why they were both married and Benedict wasn’t.

Perhaps he was just the kind that professed his feelings behind closed doors only to ignore the woman when it came to being in public with her. And you were honestly okay with that as long as he kissed you like he had in the garden. That would have been perfectly fine in your eyes.

Your mother entered your bedroom as your lady’s maid tightened your corset and you were surprised to see her since she hadn’t really been around since your father had passed. She had been much nicer and understanding, almost as if Augustus had been the one to make her that way, but you knew that hadn’t been true. He never stopped her, but he certainly didn’t encourage her behavior.

“Here’s the dress,” she held it up and you gasped at just how perfect it was. It was exactly something you had wanted to wear and for once, she had listened to you.

The dress was a pretty light shade of pink and had a tulle overlay with white flowers all over the bottom. It was one of the most beautiful dresses you had ever seen and you were nothing but excited to put it on.

Once you were dressed and your hair and makeup were done, your mother stood behind you and you watched her smile as she rested her hands on your shoulders, looking at you through the mirror just like she always looked at your sister. Like she was actually proud of you.

“You look beautiful,” she told you and you were suspicious of her sudden niceness.

“Thank you, mother,” you nodded, unsure how to take her compliment since you had never heard her say a single nice thing to you ever in your life. She always saved those words for Lilith.

“Oh, almost forgot,” she laughed, handing you your mask. She then fled the room and you followed her to see that your sister was already waiting in the foyer. She had also been suspiciously nice to you and you wondered what sort of trick she and your mother had up their sleeves.

Her dress was very similar to yours, only it was a light blue which looked beautiful against her skin. She gasped when you descended the stairs and you couldn’t help but mimic her smile once you came face to face. She reached out for your hands and you hesitantly let her take them, still unsure what exactly was going on.

“Sister,” she said, giving your hands a squeeze. “You look positively beautiful.”

“I bet you’re just happy that I’m going to be wearing a mask so I don’t embarrass you,” you grumbled and both Lilith and your mother laughed while they each stood on either side of you, looping their arms through yours.

“You always were so funny, y/n,” Lilith said through laughs and sure, you got a laugh out of what you had said, but didn’t like it was as funny as they seemed to. Something was definitely up and you were going to get to the bottom of it.

The three of you got into the carriage and you fiddled with your necklace, thinking about the fact that this was going to be the first ball without your father. For once, you really were going to have to face it alone. Sure, you’d have Kate and Anthony to keep you company, but they weren’t family like your father was. Perhaps that was why Vivian and Lilith were being so nice. To finally make amends after making your entire life up until that point a living hell.

As much as you didn’t want to forgive so easily, you thought that it would be best to anyway, not wanting to repeat what had happened with your father. You couldn’t carry anymore guilt, the weight getting too heavy on your shoulders. You were going to be just as nice to them because you knew that was what your father had wanted, even though you wanted nothing more than to never speak to them again.

The carriage rolled up to the Bridgerton home and you realized you hadn’t been there in the few months you had been back, but the memories of the place were still fresh in your mind. You were hoping to finally see Francesca since you hadn’t had a chance to. And maybe you were also hoping to see her brother as well. Hoping that he would save a dance for you and that you’d be able to have his undivided attention as the two of you moved around the room, his hazel eyes looking into yours.

You pulled down your mask as you headed inside and were happy to have at least a little bit of anonymity even though you knew it was going to be very easy for people to figure out who you were. But still, you loved the idea of having your face partially covered so it wasn’t as obvious when you didn’t make eye contact with anyone you talked to that night.

Benedict had no intention of attending his mother’s ball until he found out that you were going to be there. He had promised himself that he was going to stay away from you so you could find someone more worthy, but fuck that. He still wanted to have his way with you and maybe that night, he’d get lucky, There was a perfectly good office that wouldn’t be in use the entire ball.

Maybe the two of you would have had time to sneak off and have a quickie before no one even noticed you were gone. He could imagine covering your mouth as you moaned as he fucked int you, not wanting you to bee too loud so your moment wouldn’t be disturbed. He had gotten a little taste of what you sounded like at the gallery and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. His dreams had been nothing but filthy for the past few nights and he was just looking forward to making them become a reality.

Benedict watched you enter the house and he had to hold back his gasp at how absolutely beautiful you looked. The pink shade looked so good against your skin and the mask you were wearing matched it perfectly. He then turned to your sister, who also looked beautiful, but not nearly as much as you. Lilith should have been the one he was interested in with her being the diamond and all, but if he was being honest, he thought Lilith was nothing but a fake. Someone who only cared about someone’s status and not their personality.

He had seen your sister eye him the entire season so far and he avoided that woman like the plague. Anytime she would approach him, he would make an excuse to leave so he wouldn’t have to speak to her, or worse, have to dance with her. Because if he talked with a woman, long enough, he felt obligated to do so and he had no intention of dancing with or even so much as making eye contact with Lilith.

Benedict made a beeline for you as you got further into the house, but Kate had beat you to the punch. He supposed he could have let his sister have a moment with you before he asked you to dance. Especially since he wanted you to enjoy enough of the event before he whisked you away.

“You look absolutely lovely,” Kate complimented as she took your hands and you eyed her beautiful olive green dress and her mask that matched.

“Thank you, you too.”

“Oh, thank you,” she squeezed your hands then turned to stand next to you, linking her arm with yours as you both surveyed the room. You watched Benedict cross the room to make his way towards you and you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He was dressed in navy blue and had a gold mask sitting on his face. You didn’t know how you knew that it was him with his disguise, but you just did.

A smile made its way upon his face as he approached you and he wordlessly held his hand out to you. You took it and he led you out onto the floor before joining your hands and resting his hand on your shoulder blade and yours rested on his. The music changed and you both moved about the room, no words being spoken. All you had to do was look in each other’s eyes to say what you needed to.

You could see Benedict leaning towards you and for a second, it seemed like he was going to kiss you. But he wasn’t going to do that with all of those people around. He wouldn’t do something so inappropriate. But why did you kind of want him to?

He brought his lips to your ear and feeling his hot breath on your ear brought you back to the gallery. You really wished he would have just pulled you into a room and had his way with you and thinking those kinds of thoughts made you feel guilty considering that he wasn’t your husband, but not guilty enough to stop them.

“You look fucking beautiful tonight.” His voice was raspy and you tried your best not to moan at the sound of it.

“And what are you going to do about it?” You asked as he pulled back to look at him, batting your eyelashes as he did so.

“I can’t tell you when there are so many people around.” You felt your heart race in your chest as you realized what he was insinuating. You had always been taught that sex was something that happened between a married man and woman and now here you were, offering your body to Benedict on a silver platter when you were nothing to him except someone he could use.

Before you could register what you were doing, you pushed his arms off of you and took off for the nearest room you could lock yourself in. You pushed through multiple groups of people to get to the outside of the circle everyone had formed around the dance floor. You turned to see that Benedict was following you and opened the first door you could find.

You closed yourself in the nearest room which just so happened to be Anthony’s study. You took a deep breath as you tried to collect your thoughts, feeling them all swirl around in your brain. It was all becoming too much to take. You couldn’t be in love with him. You didn’t even know what love looked like since everyone around you didn’t seem to show you any.

you felt tears well up in your eyes as you turned your back to the door, knowing that you had really fucked everything up this time. There was someone who wanted you, but you were so caught up in your insecurities that you couldn’t even let him love you.

The door burst open causing it to hit the wall with how much force was used. You whipped around and there was Benedict, looking like he had just run a mile. He was breathing heavily, his shirt was unbuttoned and his hair was a total mess.

As soon as he caught sight of you, he made a beeline for you, taking you into his arms, letting out a contented sigh that he had finally found you. A grin broke out on his face and normally, that would have made you melt, but not this time. You were not going to be another one of his whores.

“Benedict, you need to leave now.” You couldn’t bear to see him. You needed him so badly and knew it was wrong to engage in that kind of activity without being married, but you had already done so, so what was one more time? So he had to leave.

“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.” You knew he was telling the truth. He was so stubborn. More so than you, in fact and you knew that he really wouldn’t leave the room until you told him the truth.

“I have nothing to say.” You had so much to say, but none of it was appropriate. It was pure filth and it sat on your tongue, begging to be uttered to him, but you couldn’t do it. Not now. Not ever.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me why you ran. We were having a great time and you left with no warning. Again. I think I deserve an explanation.” He did, but you weren’t going to give him one. You couldn’t. Not without telling him the truth and there was no way in hell that you were doing that.

“I’m not telling you anything. I would like to be alone so please leave.” You pointed to the door and you seemed to be just as fired up as you were at the gallery. He liked the side of you. The side that liked to get a little mean and authoritative.

He leaned down so that his face was just inches above yours, a devilish smirk forming on his lips as he spoke.

“Make me.” Oh, you were going to make him. There was no doubt about that.

“Fine.” You began to push on his chest, put he just leaned forward, his hands meeting the desk as he did so, caging you in.

“Benedict, please-“ he cut you off by pushing your dress up. He sat you on the desk and spread your legs wide to get a good look, looking up at you with a devilish smirk as he caught sight of your sopping wet cunt.

“Look at you, darling. Been thinking a lot about me, huh?” He winked. “Well, no wonder you’re so frustrated with me. Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you.”

“What are you-“ your sentence was cut off by his pants dropping to his ankles, your eyes widening as his cock came into view. God, he was huge. You weren’t able to stare at it long because he pounded it into you, causing you to make a sound you had never made before. And Benedict loved hearing it, deciding that it was better than he could ever imagined.

“So tight,” he chuckled. “But don’t worry, you’ll be so loose by the time I’m done with you.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead then thrusted in and out of you and watched the way your mouth opened wide as you let out another moan. One hand gripped your waist as he put his hand over your mouth, not wanting you to get too loud and ruin your good time before it had even really started.

“You have to be quiet,” he said harshly and you just nodded. “Can you be quiet for me darling? I promise the next time we’ll do it somewhere more convenient because you have no idea how much I want to hear you scream my name.”

He continued to pump in and out of you, his eyes moving down to your tits, hypnotized by the way they moved underneath your dress. He decided that he really needed to see them. He wanted to watch them bounce as he fucked into you again and again.

He pulled your dress over your head and tossed it behind him before reaching for your corset, untying it without even seeing it because he had done that exact thing more times than he could count. Once it was off, he took in your bare chest, deciding that they had looked even better than he imagined in the many dreams he had about you doing the exact thing you had been doing right then. But he wasn’t dreaming then. You were just a dream.

“You look-“ he cut himself off, feeling drool collect in his mouth as he thought about it sucking on your tits. But he didn’t do stuff like that. He just fucked. There was no foreplay or lead up. That wasn’t who he was. “Fucking heavenly.”

Then why did he want to kiss you until you were both breathless then fuck you soft and slow, making sure that you enjoyed every single moment? Who was he becoming because this definitely wasn’t the version of himself that he had grown to know.

He wiped the thought away and pounded into you, pushing your back onto the desk, as he moved everything out of the way, letting it all crash to the floor, not even caring that it made a loud clatter. He fucked into you, as hard and as fast as he could, trying to fit all of himself inside you and watching your eyes water as you managed to take every single inch of his dick. He continued to pound into you, watching you come completely undone as he fucked you roughly, watching your back arch as you moaned loudly, the sound becoming music to his ears. You collapsed onto the desk and he scooped you up into his arms, watching your head fall back as he desperately tried to hold you there, making sure that you were still okay to keep going.

“Can’t go dumb on me yet, darling. This is only the appetizer.” That broke something in you and you pressed a kiss to his lips before urging him to continue. He pushed you back onto the desk and kept you there, pinning you to it by your wrists as he continued to pound into you, watching you eat up the way he was fucking you, moaning when he wanted you to and arching your back in just the right moments.

He felt himself reach his climax and let out moans of his own, your name falling from his lips as he did so and you felt yourself become a goddamn puddle at hearing him moan your name. He then pulled out just in time to watch a mixture of your slick and his cum leak onto the floor and he had to hold himself back from licking up every last drop, not wanting any of it to go to waste.

Benedict pulled out of you and motioned for you to turn around. You did as he asked and he bent you over the desk, slamming his dick into you, pressing his chest to your back as he rested his hand on top of yours, lacing his fingers through yours, giving them a tight squeeze. He continued to pound into you as you leaned against the desk, already feeling tired from the activity, but you were going to hold out as long as you could, wanting to feel the other ways he was willing to scandalize your body.

Benedict continued to pump in and out of you as roughly as possible, feeling around for something in particular and smiling to himself when he found it. His hand found a mirror that was sitting on the desk and he turned it around, pushing it to sit in front of you and tilting it backwards so he could see you just right.

“Look at how good you’re taking me,” he commanded, his tone still soft despite the way his hand was gripping yours with such force.

He took you by your chin and forced you to look in the mirror, him watching nothing but you as he pounded his dick into you and you were able to see how undone he was able to make you.

Your mouth widened as you let out another moan and you had to admit that you were kind of loving seeing yourself like that and your eyes shifted to Benedict who was looking down at you like he wanted to eat you whole.

“So good,” you whined and he continued, elated that you were being vocal about how much you were enjoying yourself. If you hadn’t, he would have put the whole thing to a stop, your comfort being his number one priority. Sure, he liked the degrade you, but only with your consent.

“See? Look at you, taking it like the little whore you are.“ He pounded into you once more and you reached your orgasm, your moans the loudest they had been and Benedict was quick to cover your mouth once again.

He gave your ass a slap and you let out a yelp at the stinging sensation, but that didn’t mean you didn’t like it. In fact, you wanted him to do it again and again until your skin couldn’t take it anymore.

“What did I tell you about being quiet?” He asked through grit teeth. “Am I going to have to teach you a lesson about what happens when you disobey me?”

“Please,” you whined and he just smirked at you through the mirror. He grabbed onto your necklace and gave it a tug, causing a choking sound to escape your throat. You felt your cunt get even more wet at the feeling of the necklace pressing into your skin and became concerned that you enjoyed the feeling.

“Yeah? You like that, whore? Like it when I choke you like this?” He pulled a little harder and you noticed the pressure was relieved, looking into the mirror to see that the necklace had broken in his hand. Benedict looked at you apologetically then tossed the necklace aside on the desk. He’d buy you another one later.

He pulled out of you and turned you around to face him, pushing you against the desk as he pressed his lips to yours in a rough kiss. You gasped into his mouth then sat there, pliant to his kiss as he took what he wanted from you. You moved your lips with his hesitantly, unsure of whether you were doing it right.

“That’s right, darling,” he encouraged. “Just like that.” His lips continued to move with yours, rougher but slower, taking his time like he had so much of it even though it was only a matter of time before people started to look for you.

Benedict cradled your face in his hands, pressing his thumbs into your chin, pulling down on it so he had more access to your mouth. He slid his tongue inside and let it swirl around yours, loving the sounds it was pulling from you, loving the feeling of your hot breath on his lips as you moaned his name.

“Benedict,” you did your best to moan quietly and he pulled away, looking down at you as lust glazed over his eyes.

“No,” he shook his head. “As long as we’re in the bedroom, you call me daddy.”

“Daddy,” you repeated, the word in that context feeling foreign, but you didn’t hate it.

“Just like that.” If fucking you was always going to be like this, then Benedict was definitely going to get rid of all of his other whores.

He took two of his fingers and buried them inside of you, making sure to cover your mouth as you let out a moan. He pumped into you and the sounds you were making sounded delicious even through his hand that was muffling them.

“So good, daddy,” you whined and Benedict’s cock twitch at that. You were so hot and you didn’t even know it.

“Yeah? You like when my fingers fuck you?” He asked and you nodded, white knuckling the desk once again, almost afraid to touch him, also most as if his body was off limits. “You can touch me, darling. In fact, I encourage it. Want you to scratch up my back.” He helped you lean into him, giving him more access to your cunt, your legs pressing tightly against his wrist as his fingers continued to fuck you.

You removed his shirt as best you could, the thing only hanging off his arm since you didn’t want him to remove himself from you. Your hands scratched up and down his back in reaction to your pleasure and he let out a whimper as your nails met his back, wanting you to bring some of his skin with them.

Your head fell backwards as you reached your second orgasm, but Benedict kept his fingers inside you, hoping he could get you to your third one of the night. He gave you a few more pumps before removing his fingers, slowly moving them up to his mouth. His tongue fell out and he gave his fingers a slow lick, watching drool collect in your mouth as you watched him, your eyes glazing over with lust. He had you right where he wanted you.

“Want a taste, darling?” He asked and you nodded, your eyes widening as you did so. Benedict stepped forward, tilting your chin up, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him as he stuck his fingers into your mouth. “Give ‘em a suck,” he instructed. “You know you want to.”

You sucked on his fingers and he swore he was going to cum right there, watching you scandalize his fingers. He had made countless women come undone and he was afraid that you were doing the exact same thing to him and you weren’t even aware of it. His little shy girl driving him absolutely wild and having no clue what she was even doing.

“Lick them clean.” He stuck his fingers further into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat, causing you to gag. Your eyes watered as you gagged a little more and he pulled his fingers out a little bit, but you grabbed his wrist and put his fingers further into your mouth, almost down your throat and your eyes watered more as you gagged again, but you didn’t want him to stop. His fingers fucked your mouth and you sucked on them, licking your slick clean from them.

“Yeah? Like it when I make you gag, huh? Like the way my fingers feel in your throat? You look so pretty wrapped around them, darling. Bet you’d look even prettier wrapped around my cock.” You nodded at that, desperate to know just what he tasted like. “Wanna suck me off, darling?” He took his fingers out of your mouth so you could give a verbal response and you nodded again.

“Use your words.” He grabbed onto your face and forced you to look him in the eye. He squeezed your cheeks so tight that you felt a little pinch, but you hardly minded. In fact, you didn’t mind at all.

“Want to so bad, daddy!” His cock twitched again at that and he decided that needed you to suck him off right then or he swore that he wasn’t going to make it. He let out a whine as cum spilled from his cock and you looked down at it, feeling drool pool as you thought about it in your mouth.

“Look at you, so needy for me.” He wiped the drool from your chin and removed his hands from your face. “On your knees.” His tone was now more forceful but you liked it. You loved being told what to do and the degradation that came with it.

You got onto your knees and came face to face with his leaking cock and Benedict grabbed onto the edge of the desk, pressing the backs of his thighs into it as you looked up to him for instruction.

“What do you want me to do, daddy?” You bat your eyelashes and Benedict’s cock hardened right there, loving the way you looked so innocent but about to do something so filthy. The juxtaposition was driving him wild.

“Gotta take me into your mouth first. Put your hand at the base,” he said, his tone soft again. You grabbed onto the base just like he told you to and took him into your mouth and he swore he was going to come undone right there just by seeing your lips wrapped around him. He was convinced that was the prettiest you’d ever looked.

“Okay, now you gotta use your tongue. Swirl it around the head.” You did as he asked and he shuddered, throwing his head back as he let out a whimper but looked back down at you, the two of you maintaining eye contact as you licked up every last bit of his cum. “Now give it a suck.” You gave the head a suck and Benedict let out a loud moan at that, quickly covering his mouth as soon as it left. There was no way you hadn’t sucked a cock before. You were just so good at it that it just wasn’t possible that you were doing it for the first time.

You licked and sucked on his dick and you loved watching him come undone for a change. You watched him white knuckle the desk as he threw his head back, moaning your name over and over, causing your cunt to become a mess, feeling your slick pour from you as his delicious sounds met your ears.

“So good. Swear you can do this any time you want.” You were definitely going to take him up on that offer.

You removed your hand from him and just when he thought you were done, you grabbed onto his ass, pushing his dick as far as it would go into your mouth, desperate to have all of him. He looked down, his mouth falling open as he watched you take every single inch of him into your mouth. Your eyes were watering and you were staring to gag, but that wasn’t going to deter you.

Your tongue swirled around wherever you could reach as you continued to suck on him, watching his knees buckle as you hit just the right spot to make him absolutely lose it. Your fingers dug into his ass cheeks and he let out a yelp, wanting you to cause so much damage that he could look into a mirror and see bruise marks from how hard you were digging your finger tips into him.

“God, fuck, I’m gonna-“ his sentence was cut off by a huge wad of cum hitting the back of your throat as he let out the loudest moan of the night, surely on the verge of making people want to enter the room because of the disturbance.

He folded in on himself as you took his dick out of your mouth. He looked up at you and took your face in his hands again, looking at your glazed over eyes.

“Swallow,” he instructed, his breathing still labored. You did as he said and felt the cum go down your throat as he push your mouth open to make sure that you had actually swallowed it and looked down at you with that damn devilish smirk that should have been illegal.

“Good girl,” he gave your cheek a pat then got onto his knees in front of you. He pushed you roughly so your back hit the floor and he was quick to spread your legs, looking down at your pussy, ready to get a taste for himself.

“You look good enough to eat, darling. And I’m fucking starving.” He licked his lips slowly, looking down at your cunt as if it was a full course meal and he hadn’t eaten in days.

He went to remove your shoes and socks as slowly as he could, watching you whine for him, wanting to edge you now since everything else had happened so quickly. He slowly got your shoes off and took your left leg gently in his hands, removing your socks as slowly as he could, watching you beg for him as you did so which only made him move slower.

“Relax, darling,” he hushed you. “It’s going to be okay. Daddy’s going to take care of you in a minute.” Your socks were removed and he grabbed hold of your ankles, pressing feather light kisses to your left leg, complimenting you as he did you, telling you just how pretty he thought you were. This was going to be the main event, so he was going to have to put on a show.

Once he got to the top of your thigh, he hovered his face right above your cunt, taking a sharp inhale of your scent before giving the thing a slow, long lick causing you to arch your back just like he wanted.

“Just a second. You really need to relax,” he told you harshly. “I’m clearly working here.” He kissed up your right leg and you were so desperate for the feeling that you slowly inched your way down to your sopping wet cunt, needing to get your release.

You stuck your fingers up it just like Benedict had and you let out a moan, causing him to pause his loving on your leg. He slowly turned to you and looked down at your hand placement, his eyes widening at the fact that you were so needy that you felt the need to pleasure yourself. Maybe he’d like to watch you instead.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, immediately removing your fingers from yourself, but Benedict stopped you, putting his hand over yours and guiding it back to your entrance.

“No, keep going,” he urged. “Wanna watch you.”

“You want to…watch me? I thought you wanted to-“

“Well, I’ve changed my mind,” he cut you off, his tone becoming harsh again and your cunt was becoming more needy for attention by the second. “Wanna watch you make yourself come undone. Now stick your finger back where they were.”

You did as he told you and stuck your fingers back up your cunt, trying to remember what Benedict had done earlier. You pumped in and out and he watched you with hungry eyes as your fingers fucked you, your eyes shutting tight in pleasure as you came undone at your own touches.

He was becoming jealous. Jealous of your fingers, desperate to lick them clean. Desperate to have another taste of you, wanting to be the one to give you that kind of pleasure. But he was getting so hard watching you that he was willing to wait until you came.

You moaned at the feeling, whines getting caught in your throat as you imagined Benedict’s tongue lapping up every last bit of your slick, telling you just how good you tasted as you pulled on his hair as hard as you could.

Just as Benedict was getting into it, you removed your fingers from yourself and his mouth watered at just how wet with slick your fingers were. He leaned over without a second thought and gave them a suck, swirling his tongue around them to get every last bit before removing them from his mouth.

As soon as he was done, he shoved his face into your cunt and you let out a gasp as his nose brushed it. He took no time to lick a stripe from your slit to your clit and you grabbed onto his hair and gave it a yank as he lowered himself to the floor, draping your legs over your shoulder as he did so.

He moved his tongue up and down, giving you a taste before pulling back a bit, causing you to let out another whine. You were just too easy to tease and he was always going to take the opportunity to do so.

“There’s no need to get greedy, darling.” He smiled up at you and you reached down to your cunt again, but Benedict grabbed hold of your wrist and gave it a tight squeeze, his eyes filling with anger.

“Stop acting like a spoiled brat or I’m going to leave you to finish the job yourself. I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? Now be quiet, darling, I’m about to do my best work.” With that, he buried his face back into your cunt and took no time to stick his tongue up it, pulling a moan from you as you gave his hair a yank.

His tongue hit just the right spot and your back arched in absolute euphoria. You yanked his hair again and let out your loudest moan yet, reaching your third orgasm for the night which even for Benedict was a record. He should have known that he could make you cum every single time. He was just that good.

“Benny,” you screamed and Benedict stopped at that. You had never called him that and why did he kind of like that more than being called daddy? Daddy was his go to, but with you, it was different. He liked your nicknames for him.

He removed his face from your cunt and licked up every last bit of slick he could reach from his face then placed himself on top of you, pulling you in for a filthy kiss, swirling his tongue around yours before pulling away.

“Did so well, darling,” he complimented as he wiped some of your baby hairs from your forehead, admiring the way you looked up at him with hearts in your eyes as if he didn’t just do some of the filthiest things to you that would have sent any normal woman running.

“Got one more in you? Promise I’ll be gentle.” He brushed some more hair away from your forehead and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

“One more,” you slurred and Benedict knew he didn’t have long until you were too far gone to consent so he was going to have to work quick.

“Wanna be on top?” He asked and you nodded enthusiastically. If he was being honest, he just wanted to see your tits bounce again as he fucked you senseless.

Benedict laid on the floor and you straddled his waist, situating yourself onto his dick, you both letting out moans as he entered you. You reached out and covered each other’s mouths as you began to ride him as he coached you, telling you exactly what to do.

“That’s it,” he encouraged. “Just like that. A little faster now.” You bucked your hips into his, back and forth and Benedict was hypnotized by the way your tits bounced up and down as you rode him, finding himself wanting to know what they tasted like, wanting to feel your back arch into him as you pulled one of them into his mouth, giving it a rough suck.

“Love riding you, daddy,” you whined and Benedict knew he was done for. Hearing your pathetic whines mixed with his nickname was making him lose his goddamn mind. It was so unfair how fucking how you were and how so unaware you were of it.

“I know, honey,” he managed to get out through labored breaths. “Look so pretty when you’re riding me.”

“I thought I looked pretty with your cock in my mouth,” you bat your eyelashes and he knew that you knew exactly what you were doing. You were beating him at his own game and you didn’t even have to try.

You could see him staring at your tits and decided to have a little fun of your own. Two could play that game. You leaned over and moved up so that your tits were hanging in his face, moving them back and forth as you watched the drool dribble down his chin.

“Know you wanna suck on them.” Benedict’s eyes widened as he realized that he had created a monster. “Want to do it so bad, don’t you?” You asked. “I can see you drooling baby, now open up.” Benedict opened his mouth with no hesitation and his lips wrapped around your nipple, giving it a suck as he licked a stripe across it, causing you to gasp.

He sucked and licked as his hands moved to your back, pushing you farther down onto him so he had more access to you. He pulled the thing between his teeth and gave it a pull, eliciting a moan from your lips that was particularly higher pitched than the other ones. He had you right where he wanted you, pliant to his touch as he worked his magic.

“Benny,” you whined. “So good, Benny. Need more.” He bit down harder and you practically screamed at the sound, covering your own mouth this time, wondering how no one had caught you yet.

He quickly moved onto your other nipple and didn’t even work his way up to the bite, just going for it, pulling another loud scream from you. Once he was done, he pulled away, wanting to get a good look at your tits shining with his spit, the bruises already forming around your nipples.

“Are you going to stare at my tits all night or are you going to finally fuck me, Mr. Bridgerton?” You raised an eyebrow and that did it. He pushed you to the floor and pinned you there, pounding into you as he his hands moved to your wrists so you couldn’t move.

“Watch your mouth or it won’t end well for you.”

“Oh? And what are you going to do to me, daddy? Spank me?”

“Maybe later if you’re a good girl and listen to me. Right now, I’m going to absolutely rail you.” He pumped in and out the fastest he could, knowing that he was running out of time since the ball was ending and knew that Anthony would make a beeline for his office to work on paperwork like he always did late at night. If he caught the two of you, he’d have Benedict’s head.

He managed to finish inside you one last time as he heard the chatter of people leaving, letting himself actually moan because everything was so loud that people definitely wouldn’t have been able to hear him. Your moans mixed together as you felt him release and he pulled out of you as he heard someone stomping down the hallway.

You both hurried to put your clothes back on and Benedict helped you put on your undergarments, your hearts racing because you were convinced you were going to get caught. After you were good to go, Benedict took you by the hand and slowly opened the door only for it to creak loudly in the silence of the house.

You both cringed at the noise but he still pulled you out of the office but quickly pushed you back in, shutting the door behind you.

“He’s right behind me.”

You gave his hand a squeeze. “I’ll handle this.”

“How?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that. You just run when I say to.”

“Yes ma’am.” You let go of his hand and slipped out the door only to literally run into Anthony causing the two of you to fall to the floor. Anthony was quick to pull you to your feet and you moved him further to the side so he wouldn’t see his brother slip out the door.

“What were you doing in my office?” He asked, and you were able to come up with something on the spot which was surprising to you since your mind usually went blank.

“I was just…looking for the bathroom.” Anthony definitely wasn’t buying that and needed to find out what was really going on.

“Y/n, what-“ as soon as you noticed that he was trying to get the truth out of you, you dropped to the floor and clutched your ankle.

Benedict took the opportunity to slip out of the room and head up the stairs as quickly as possible and you put on the performance of lifetime, pretending that you had hurt your ankle. God, he was so going to fuck you good for saving him like that.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Anthony asked as he dropped to his knees in front of you.

“My ankle,” you told him, tears welling up in your eyes. Anthony went to lift your dress but you pushed his hand away, not wanting him to see that you defiantly had not hurt your ankle. You watch Benedict ascend the stairs and decided that your work was done.

“Where does it hurt? Do you need a doctor?” Worry was written all over his face and you were trying to figure out how you were going to get out of your lie and get to Benedict who was waiting for you in his room, desperate and needy for your wet cunt. You stood up from the floor quickly as Benedict stood at the railing waving you over.

“Would you look at that,” you laughed nervously as you moved your ankle back and forth, showing Anthony that you were actually just fine and he just stared at you, not fully believing whatever you were hinting at. “I’ve made a miraculous recovery.” There was something weird going on and Anthony was going to get to the bottom of it, even if he wasn’t sure that he wanted to.

“Where’s the restroom?” You asked, a sheepish smile making its way upon your face and Anthony eyed you, not quite sure if he should have asked you what was going on. He didn’t think that it was his business and you didn’t seem to be in any danger, so he supposed that he could let it slide just this once.

“Just down the hall.” He pointed to the right and you made a beeline in that direction.

Once you were gone, Anthony shook his head and opened his office door, a gasp escaping his lips as he took in the state of the room. Every single thing that had been on his desk was in the floor, some of them broken. It looked like someone had broken in and he had absolutely no idea how it could have gotten like that when he knew that no one had entered the room the entire night. Unless…

Something wasn’t adding up. Had you trashed his office or worse, had someone harmed you while the ball was going on? He supposed that would have explained why you had been behaving so oddly. Or maybe you really had just been looking for the bathroom. He trusted you and had hoped that you wouldn’t have done something like that to him. The whole thing was giving him a giant a headache and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with it. That was, until he noticed a necklace on the floor under his desk, catching the light of a diamond necklace. He hadn’t recognize it, but maybe it was Kate’s. That would have been the only person who would have had any reason to enter the office.

Anthony pocketed the necklace then turned off his lamp, deciding that he would eat with the mess in the morning. It was too late and he was too tired to wrap his head around what could have happened during the party. Once the lamp was off, he made his way towards the door and opened it, looking around for you, but he supposed you just left and hoped that you had gotten home safely.

As soon as Anthony’s office door closed, you raced up the stairs to meet Benedict. He took you into his arms and pressed a kiss to your waiting lips before leading you to his room. As soon as the door was closed, Benedict pulled you in for another kiss, taking no time to lick int your mouth, his hands pushing up your dress up, but you pushed him away. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but he wasn’t going to blame you for not wanting it. Maybe the moment had passed.

“What’s wrong, darling? Do you not want to fuck me anymore?” He jutted out his bottom lip and maybe earlier you’d have fallen for it, but not now. Not tonight. You were now aware of his game and had every intention of beating him at it.

“I didn’t say that,” you bat your eyelashes again and he was convinced that you knew exactly what you were doing now.

“Then what do you want? Name it and it’s yours.” Benedict expected you at least think about what you wanted, but you spoke before he could even take a guess.

“I want you to beg.” Pardon? You wanted him to what? Had he heard you right? Because there was no way that his little innocent darling was actually asking him to beg. That was his job. He figured you had at least had a few more rounds in you before you started ordering him around.

“What was that, darling?” He asked, leaning down so that his ear was right by your mouth. “I couldn’t quite hear you.” He could hear you quite well, but wanted you to repeat yourself with confidence.

“I said I want you to beg.” Your voice was the loudest he ever heard you and he loved how confident you were around him. How you were able to tell him exactly what you wanted and he’d give it to you on a silver platter.

“Y/n, what-“

“Down,” you pointed to the floor in front of you. “On your knees.” Benedict quickly obliged and lowered down onto his knees. His hands took yours and he pressed a kiss to each one.

“Please,” he begged and you almost gave it in right there, but wanted more. You wanted him to be on the verge of tears. You wanted him to be practically sobbing as he begged for you to bed him.

“I need a little more,” you told him and he wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face into your stomach, pressing kissing to it.

“Please, please, darling. I need you,” he whined and you pulled his head away from you, tucking your finger under his chin and lifting his head to look at you. The devilish grin was now yours and he wasn’t sure how long he could last with his cock tenting in his pants.

“Gotta look at me when you say it, Benny. Wanna see your face when you cry out for me.” And the student became the master. That was it. He had nothing left to teach you.

“Darling, please,” he begged as he took a big swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so, choking back tears. His hands stayed on your waist as his hands rubbed up and down them. “I promise I’ll be a good boy.”

“Oh, I know you will be,” you gave his cheek a pat before pulling him to his feet and he was having a hard time standing up, but he got there eventually. He pulled you into his arms, making sure that you were flush to his chest before pulling you in for yet another kiss, this one softer than the others.

Your hands slowly moved to his shirt and you unbuttoned it as his lips moved with yours, your tongue swiping along his bottom lip. He opened up and you let your tongue scratch along his roughly.

You got his shirt open and pushed him onto the bed, lowering yourself on top of him as you removed your dress in one swift motion before capturing his lips with yours once again. You removed your corset and let your body be flush with his and he loved the way your tits felt pressed against his chest.

Your hands reached for his breeches and you unbuttoned then pulled them down, his cock springing free, just as hard as it had been before. You settled onto his cock and began to ride him, moving slowly, your fingers digging into his chest as his hands moved to your waist. You watched him beneath you, his eyes on yours as let out moan after moan and he wondered how you had gotten so good at it after only riding him once.

“Know exactly how I like it, darling,” he groaned, his fingers digging into your hips.

“Yeah? You asked, your nails scratching down his chest. “So glad I can please you, Benny.”

“Could do this all night,” he said, his hands moving to your ass and you let out a yelp as he dug his fingers into them. You took his hands and pulled them up to your mouth, giving them a gentle kiss.

“No, Benny,” you shook your head. “We’re going to do it my way right now.”

“And what’s your way, hm?”

“Soft and sweet.”

“Darling, you’re definitely sweet, but you’re not soft,” he let out a chuckle and you proceeded to ride him, picking up your pace, but not exactly doing it how he was liking it. He didn’t mind, though. As long as you were on top of him, he didn’t care what you did.

He let out a moan as your hips bucked against his and you watched his back arch in pleasure as he reached his orgasm, his hands squeezing yours for dear life as he finished inside of you.

“Christ,” was all he had to say as he ejaculated inside of you, his back hitting the mattress as he let out a loud exhale.

You got off of him then lowered your body down onto his, pressing your lips to his in a sweet kiss. Your hands reached for his once again and you intertwined them, letting them rest together on the mattress.

Your lips moved down to his neck and licked a stripe across it, wanting to know what it tasted like. It was salty from the sweat and you liked the flavor on your tongue. Benedict talked you through giving him a hickey and you did exactly as he instructed and just by his moans, you could tell that he was coming undone underneath you.

“So good,” he whined. “You’re a fast learner.”

“Well, I’ve learned from the best,” you told him as you pulled away to get a look at your work, the skin a reddish purple and shining with your spit. Benedict pulled you down onto him and flipped the both of you over so he was the one on top and he moved your sweaty baby hairs down off of your forehead as a smile broke out on his face.

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Miss l/n,” he said as he pressed a final kiss to your lips before pulling the covers over your bodies. He pulled you to his chest and placed a kiss to your forehead and you both closed your eyes, having no problem drifting off to sleep after all of the activities you just took part in.

“And the same goes to you, Mr, Bridgerton.”

You dreamed so peacefully that night, the only thing in your mind being Benedict and the beautiful life you could have built with him. You were hoping that after all the things that you did together that he’d make you his wife even if it was just wishful thinking.

[nekropsii]

asking you this since you’re the only person who understands mituna in the entire fandom in my perception of the hs fandom

is it okay to headcanon mituna as autistic? sorry if you get this type of ask a lot/have already answered this type of ask

Instead of answering this question, I will give some food for thought: Mituna has a TBI. He has Brain Damage. This is a core element of his character. Probably the biggest one. In fact, it's so important to him that it's an injury that has remained with him in death. His TBI is a huge, huge part of what makes him... Well, him. It's why he's interesting.

So... Why is a need felt to also declare him as Autistic? Assuming this is a projection thing, since it tends to be most of the time - if you relate to him for his already canonical Neurodivergency, which is Brain Damage, why does one need to give him Autism as well?

Oftentimes when people headcanon him as Autistic, they tend to minimize or even outright erase his TBI. Oftentimes, people say he's Autistic as the reason he's canon Neurodivergent representation... Even though he's shown no real signs of it, but instead is fully written as a character with a Frontal Lobe Injury, and is constantly stated to have Brain Damage.

TBIs and other Neurodivergencies are often seen as less palatable than Autism. On Tumblr especially, it's far more "acceptable" to be Autistic or ADHD or headcanon a character as such than it is to have Brain Damage or literally any other Neurodivergency or acknowledge that a character is written with those. Autism and ADHD are seen as cute and relatable - even though they're very complex and at times devastating disabilities that do have the potential to seriously fuck up your livelihood, much like Depression and Anxiety, and I'm saying this as someone who has and struggles with all 4 - and are often used to erase the presence of other Neurodivergencies. Hell, it's to the point where people use "Neurodivergency" as a synonym for ADHD and Autism.

Again, I'm not going to answer this question for you. I think there's a way someone could potentially make the narrative of Mituna having Autism prior to the TBI compelling - the TBI has essentially stripped him of his ability to mask, after all, so one could make it be a situation where some of these symptoms are ones he already had, but is only just now really getting shit for because he's no longer able to hide it, and part of that tragedy is knowing that had he never been good at masking, his "friends" would have never accepted him. You could get some interesting questions about that. Was the repression worth it? Would it have been better if he'd just been himself the whole time? I think it's extremely valuable to ask yourself why you see any character as any specific minority - necessary, even - and how that affects not only the character's writing in its original text, but also your relationship with said character. Consider optics. Consider the way in which this character is meant to function in the source material. What purpose do they serve, and what is the driving force behind this character? Is Occam's Razor applicable? Are there other explanations as to why they are the way they are? Perhaps ones that are more succinct, and cover more ground?

Yesterday, I watched a film that has provoked a response in Tumblr that I think is applicable. I Saw The TV Glow. It's a film about a Trans Girl who never finds the strength to accept herself or come out. It's an incredibly gut-wrenching watch. It made me cry several times, and there are parts that made me feel a deep pain in my chest. I sat through 95% of the film with a pit in my stomach. I had to lay on the floor in the dark for a while after I finished. There's a scene where the main character is asked whether she likes girls or boys. She says she thinks she likes TV shows, and elaborates by saying that every time she tries to think about that kind of thing, it feels like someone's cutting her open and shoveling out her insides until there's nothing left. Not that there was anything in there to start with, of course - she says she knows there isn't, but she's too scared to look for herself and see.

That scene was about how Gender Dysphoria can completely disrupt your sexuality and repulse you from the thought of that level of connection with others, because it is, in essence, a deep disturbance with the nature of who you are as a person. Many people who are Asexual, or Aromantic, or both, related to that scene because it, on the surface, depicts discomfort with romance and sexuality. What they failed to understand by chalking it up to its own sexuality, is the fact that that scene wasn't depicting a Sex-Repulsed Asexual, or a Romance-Repulsed Aromantic, it was depicting a Trans Girl who is at such deep odds with herself and her identity that she cannot grapple with the concept of loving or being loved.

What, functionally, is the purpose of slapping an extraneous label onto a character that is meant to depict a certain thing? What is the purpose of assigning the label of "Autistic" to a character meant to depict the tragedy of a loss of support after gaining a disability, or "Aromantic" or "Asexual" to a character meant to depict a deep internal struggle with unresolved Gender Dysphoria?

Ask yourself these questions, and carry on from there. See where your mind takes you.

[guessimwritingficsagain]

Kintsugi (the golden roses will bloom prettily in the space between your ribs) Chapter 4

Summary : You'd met Joel a year ago. Then you learn he and Tess are gone from the Boston QZ. You go find Jackson on your own.

Warnings : Mature content, MDNI, rape attempt (not from Joel, though), pining, ANGST.

Tags : Just ask.

Chapter Three

———

You sit quiet when he’s done. Joel’s body is slumped on the couch in front of you, a man at the end of his rope. He’s looking at the wall, just waiting. Waiting to finally be left off the hook except-

He told you the when.

He told you the where.

He told you the how.

(How he murdered all of these people to keep Ellie from dying and that’s what she doesn’t know but suspects).

But he didn’t tell you the why.

So you ask, a third time. One last time.

‘Why did you bring her to some people who wanted to kill her ?’

‘I didn’t know.’

‘Yeah, okay, but why-‘

‘I’m not tellin’ you.’ He’s looking at you, now, eyes hard, jaw clenched, and you recognize the look- you’ve been the recipient of it many times. There’s no arguing with him now. Holding his gaze, you think about your bag, still made, waiting.

He musts see something on your face, then, because he jaw unclenches and his arm reaches for you but you’re already getting up. 

‘Well, I’m glad you’re safe, Joel. And I’m sorry about Tess.’ 

You walk to the front door and hear him follow. A hand grabs one of your arms

‘Hey, hey !’ Joel’s voice is frantic. ‘We’re back together, now, we can-‘

You wrench your arm out of his grasp, turn, and look him in the eye. You think about your bag, ready to go, an old thing that you’ve patched up so many times, faded forest green, still reliable because of the care you’ve shown it. You see his eyes, Joel’s eyes, warm brown, pleading to listen, to stay. You think of the most important thing you have, a secret, the only thing that is just yours.

———

‘Jesse ? Jesse where are you ?’ You screamed. 

You knew the area was safe, you’d scouted it every day for the past week. Same patrol, same route, every day, with Jesse. I-could-be-Indiana-Jones Jesse. 

Fuck Tommy and his stupid cold. 

You’d been off the trail for at least fifteen minutes when you saw it : a little cabin, right in the middle of the woods. Out there, it was just clean air, the sound of your horse’s hooves, your own breathing and birds chirping, up in trees so tall you could barely see the sky. 

You dismounted, gun at the ready. Crouched, advanced, slowly. 

The hand opening the door to the cabin was not as steady as you’d wished. 

The place was empty, and there was nothing of value, and you were ready to leave when you saw it-

A vase. 

Pretty. 

Broken. 

It cut your finger when you touched it. 

You heard your name being shouted, in the distance,, shut the door, got back on your horse and left. When Jesse asked where you’re been you just answered :

‘Lookin’ for you, idiot. Don’t stray, next time.’

You never mentioned the cabin, and no one ever asked, because no one ever asked you anything.

———

‘There’s no we, Joel.’

You think about the bag. 

‘There never was.’

You think about the cabin. 

You don’t think about his eyes, boring into yours. 

‘I was always alone. Always.’

As he takes a step forward, you realize that you don’t know if this feeling inside your chest means you don’t care anymore or if it means you care too much. You can’t be bothered to find out so you repeat- and add :

‘I was always alone, but I was the loneliest when I was with you.’

——— 

When Tommy opens the door and see you with your backpack he jokes :

‘Goin’ on a trip or somethin’ ?’

‘I’m leavin’, I need you to open the gates for me.’

Tommy just- stares. And gapes. He looks like a fucking idiot fish, you think, as Maria, always the smart one, joins in, little Lucas in her arms and asks : 

‘Can’t it wait until we talk about this ?’

Your no is as final as a nail in a coffin. Maria nods, gives Lucas to her husband and motions you to follow her, despite her husband’s pleas of wait, wait, is this about my brother ? We can work this out, wait, please-

The walk to the gate is peaceful, you greet the people who greet Maria as you walk by. 

‘If you need a horse, we can give you one.’ She offers.

You shrug.

‘I know where I’m goin’, I don’t need one. It’s gonna take longer but I don’t wanna take away from you guys.’

You’re almost at the gates when Maria asks :

‘Why are you leaving ?’

You turn to her, and she’s very pretty, like that, the curls of her hair catching the sun, her skin shining in the morning light. You could have been friends with her, you think.

Once upon a time.

‘Why did you take me off patrol ?’ You answer.

She doesn’t answer but even a woman as strong-headed as Maria has tells.You see it in the way she briefly clenches her fists, the way her jaw locks. Her eyes leave yours, in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kind of way, but it’s enough. 

The gates open. 

You’re feeling a lot.

You’re feeling petty. 

Wallflower.

Sunflower.

Rose.

Thorns.

You turn to her one last time. ‘You’re letting me go very easily.’ 

You adjust your bag on your shoulder. You add :

‘Y’know, for someone who claims to give a shit.’

———

Two hours and a half later, give or take, Joel Miller did exactly what Ellie was afraid of and rode off to find you. 

The only difference was 

Ellie asked him to do it.

———

Taglist

@pedritobalmando @amidjarin @ajeff855 @justpedropascal @sara-alonso @sarahjkl82-blog @amidjarin @sara-alonso@justpedropasc@mrsbentallmadge @farfromjustordinary @hnt-escape @kirsteng42 @ace-27749 @pocket-of-possibilities @missladym1981

[the-nightbreaker]

I just saw a post about Lisa telling Dean "if you don't walk out that door, I'm going to shoot you," and how it speaks to the depth/beauty of Lisa's character and her understanding of Dean. And I can't say I really felt much toward Lisa, but I agree, that line made me think: wow. She's genuinely such a good person. She saw Dean struggling with his desire to return hunting with his brother, and his obligation/loyalty to stay with her and Ben. And I think she knew he'd stay with her (at least for a while), torturing himself for not being with Sam, because he didn't want to let her down, didn't want to abandon or lose her and Ben. And if/when he did leave, he'd torture himself for not being there with them. So she gave him her permission to leave; she, in fact, didn't make him choose at all. She was willing to try to let him live in both worlds. It's not what she wanted, but she knew it was what Dean wanted, so she supported that anyway.

Now, I'm sure so many others have noticed it before, but I just realized the parallel/contrast in what she told him. In what she didn't say.

"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back."

[audhd-nightwing]

headcanon: dick actually prefers wearing baggy clothes in public and is way more comfortable in them because nobody comments on his body when he’s not in form-fitting outfits

and it sucks because he actually really enjoys wearing form-fitting outfits and feels good in them, but any time he does people stare or catcall or even grope him and he just. can’t handle that after everything

plus the villains kissing him as nightwing thing has gotten so bad that he’s genuinely considering getting a mask that covers the lower half of his face

[gh-0-stcup]

My thing is that I just do not trust a single person who was involved in the show. It just seems like a lot of PR to fix their image and foster sympathy/goodwill/interest.

[bisaster-energy]

devastating. someone has consumed the entirety of a media just to interpret it shallowly

[goldiipond]

ray is genderfluid because imagine the euphoria of confining yourself to a box your whole life because you’re so afraid to discover things about yourself only to have it all taken away and then escaping and being allowed to explore those things and realizing you can just be anything you want at anytime, you’re finally free. emma is agender because ray’s hogging all the genders and he won’t share

[odetolovers]

it is absolutely wild the way i’ve allowed people to treat me

[nyxi-pixie]

just pulled the burglary of the century and stole this format from this post from @will80sbyers. im sorry. i needed to push my mikes binder of wills drawings agenda.

[lanihaluki]

fyrus little mermaid au but I put everything in the tags bc rom spoilers

[arklay]

oh. just thought about how shit it would feel for diana every time [redacted] is tender with her after she told him she loved him and he hadn't said it back. big oof

[jaythelay]

Don't take this as racist, just stupid, but I find it funny how everytime I hear about China and the people that live there, all I can ever think is:

These people don't believe in unions or collective bargaining, coming together to demand better and more freedom, but if a game dev on Steam does something...not even remotely offensive, they form together to form the ultimate harassment campaign the world has ever seen by reviewbombing and messaging developers of Gacha games because they can't fuck some loli.

And it keeps happening. All I really need to know about China is they would prefer Gacha gaming over actual freedom. When, I've seen what they say, and I gotta say, you'd think they'd use an OUNCE of that murderous rage to...go after their corrupt government. Not...not games on Steam.

[voids-cave]

another song to my big hater playlist !

[avatarchic]

— FOREIGNER

How the Karasuno boys would react to meeting Shoyo's foreign cousin.

— starring. karasuno boys x foreign exchange student!reader (separately), student teacher!reader in ukai's

— tags. fluff, first meetings, pining

— warnings. use of 'pretty' and 'cute' to describe reader, but no pronouns are used, you slap ryuu in his LOL, mild suggestive comment in ryuu's if you squint

— requested? yes! thank you so much for your request this was fun to write :)

— notes. some of these are longer than others sorry ADHKWH my biases are showing a lil // this ended up being a first meeting + how they act when they start crushing on you, but it they're so cute so i didnt wanna change it lolol

daichi is whipped for you from the start

he doesn't show it (or he doesn't think he does) but he's attracted to you the second he lays eyes on you

he's extra sure to be polite to you, too embarrassed too show his brasher nature in case it scares you off

he loses his backbone whenever you're around

he needs to scold some of the first years for goofing off, but you're standing there? he's all sunshine and rainbows

when he finds out that you're a foreign exchange student, he's over the moon

he subtly finds out your classes from shoyo, who of course doesn't realize his intentions as he blurts out your schedule happily

he checks up on you often, making sure you're adjusting well to japan because "what kind of captain would he be if he let his underclassman's cousin have a hard time?"

the team is none the wiser, except for maybe koshi who sees through his shit immediately

he has a habit of patting your head as a greeting, even if he's just passing you in the hallways even if you complain about him messing up your hair

overall, he's super soft with you :)

sawamura daichi! was annoyed when he met you. shoyo hadn't shown up to practice and wasn't answering his phone, which left the captain ready to send the orange-haired freshman to an early grave. after kei made a smart remark that he saw shoyo lingering near the school entrance, he was on a mission to give the boy hell.

kei was right, of course. when daichi made his way to the entrance, he saw shoyo right away. he stomps over, lips parting to lecture the younger male about responsibilities when his eyes ghost over you. he stops short, shoyo's name barely dropping from his mouth as he pauses.

when you both turn to him, daichi feels his breath catch in his throat. it was clear that you weren't from around here. your odd sense of dress stuck out like a sore thumb—not to mention he had never seen you before. but if anything, he thought you were pretty.

"you're late for practice," daichi states lamely, barely managing to tear his gaze away from you to glower at shoyo. "i ought to put you on cleaning duty tonight."

the threat fell on deaf ears, shoyo's large grin unfaltering as he wraps an arm around your midsection in a tight hug. "captain! sorry, sorry," he apologizes, though the wide grin on his face told daichi he wasn't serious. "my cousin texted me that they were here, so i had to say hi!"

at his words, you finally snap out of your stupor, offering daichi a small smile. "i didn't realize he had practice. i wouldn't have called him out if i knew."

daichi presses his lips together, feeling his ears warm at your kind tone. "it's okay," he says softly. "i'll let him off for now. it's nice to meet you—i'm sawamura daichi."

when you introduce yourself, he finds himself repeating your name in his head.

"oi," he clears his throat, turning to shoyo with a deadpan expression. "c'mon. we're late enough already." daichi turns to bow his head at you politely, quickly turning around before you can see the warmth in his cheeks.

your sweet voice calls out a goodbye, and daichi decides then and there that he wants to get to know you better.

"hey, hey—why are you so red?"

"you're gonna shut up now if you want to go home early tonight."

koshi didn't realize you were shoyo's cousin until after he got to know you a little

he couldn't help it—when he saw you he just thought you were super cute lmao

he fumbles a bit in front of you

he really really tries to be a cool, calm, and collected person but sometimes he embarrasses himself by saying odd things or staring at you a little too long

when he does figure out you're related to his underclassman, he takes the opportunity to get to know you better

and when he finds out you're in his homeroom? even better

the type to arrange study session together with you every weekend just to spend time with you

he actually invites you to watch their practices and games before shoyo does LOL

the whole team knows about his feelings and he doesn't even care, constantly throwing an arm over you shoulder and hanging around you during downtimes

wants to impress you, so he gives it his all (and then some) whenever you're there

his sets get more accurate and he even blocks more hits than he would've before

he really wants you to think he's cool

but if you compliment him, he's exploding on the spot

suguwara koshi! had no idea you were shoyo's cousin when he met you. you looked nothing alike and your personalities were completely different. despite you being a complete stranger, the lost look on your face amused him.

you met koshi when shoyo accidentally stranded you at the train station. you were supposed to take the same train to his house, but he didn't notice you weren't right behind him when he stepped into the train car. the last you saw of the tangerine-haired boy was the back of his head as the doors closed on you.

you were standing there in a panic, though no one stopped to check if you were okay. shoyo had you hold his schoolbag while he dragged your suitcase along, and when you tried calling his cellphone you heard it buzz in the bag that hung on your shoulder. for the life of you, you couldn't remember which stop to get off or which streets to take to get to his house.

"are you lost?" a gentle voice asks you, pulling you from your anxious thoughts.

your eyes meet and koshi can't help but think you're cute as hell. you look doe-eyed in your panic, rounded eyes and parted lips. when you don't answer right away, koshi's cool demeanor switches and he stumbles into an embarrassed frenzy. "wait, can you even understand japanese?"

thankfully, you do, having learned it from shoyo at a younger age. you blink away the remnants of your panic with a few hasty nods. "yes, sorry. my cousin accidentally left me here, and i don't really know how to get to his house..."

koshi calms down at your insistence, chuckling to himself. "do you know the address?"

you wince, "no."

"alright," he says in a way that he hopes is soothing for you. "i can keep you company while you wait for him to return, then. it'd probably be nicer than just standing here by yourself."

when you agree, he hides his smile. he asks you several icebreakers, such as your name and your favourite colour. with every passing second, he only thinks you're even cuter than when he first saw you.

eventually, shoyo does come back, panting and heaving as he runs up the stairs to the station platform. his bright eyes widen when he sees you together with koshi. "oh, sugawara? you've met my cousin?"

koshi meets your eyes with a grin. "i guess we'll be seeing each other more often."

honestly asahi doesn't even acknowledge you when you first meet

he doesn't find out you're shoyo's cousin for weeks, so you're really just another classmate to him

you don't even talk to each other until like a month or so after you transferred

and even then, your conversations are short

he's polite to you when you work together, but he doesn't really try to become friends with you

don't get him wrong! he thinks you're nice and pretty, but he is too damn shy to initiate anything with you

you kinda think he hates you at first, but after you realize that he's just not an outgoing person you relax around him

when he does find out you're related to shoyo, you end up seeing each other more often out of class

you show up to more practices, even if you're just sitting on the benches doing homework

shoyo even drags you along whenever the team meets up outside of school to hang out

as a result, you and asahi eventually grow closer and he opens up more bit by bit

he doesn't actually start crushing on you until graduation nears

he realizes it when he hears you cheering his name at one of their bigger games

he thinks his name sounds prettier coming from you

he doesn't initiate any skinship with you, but he's always asking about your day and checking on you in his own ways

will absolutely combust if you even so much as brush pinkies as you're walking together

azumane asahi! first met you in class. like koshi, he doesn't know you're related to shoyo initially. when the teacher introduces you, making you write your name on the board, you don't have the same last name as shoyo. he doesn't really pay much attention to you, minding his own business as he takes out his notebook and pens.

several weeks pass and your homeroom teacher announces that you'll be partnering up for a group presentation. your first real conversation with him goes as expected—you exchange contact information and go your separate ways when the bell rings.

he thinks you're attractive, but he's too shy to actually act on those thoughts and he just pushes through the project, interacting with you as little as possible.

it's only when shoyo forgets his volleyball uniform at your house that asahi figures out you're related.

he sees you first, standing in the gym entrance while you wait to be invited in. you look hesitant as your eyes cast over the several members of the volleyball club, your gaze landing on asahi. when recognition flickers behind your eyes, he thinks you're there for him.

he opens his mouth to greet you, but before he can even utter a word, an orange blur runs past him. you're almost knocked on your ass as shoyo tackles you, excitedly calling out your name. "what're you doing here?" he asks you, tilting his head as he releases you from his death grip. "you never come to practice."

"you left your uniform at mine," you explain quietly, pulling the clothing out of your bag.

there's a moment of silence, before all hell breaks loose. the others scream and yell at shoyo, yuu and ryuunosuke shaking him by the shoulders as they demand why they weren't informed about his girlfriend.

even asahi's jaw drops at the thought of you, his classmate and group partner, dating shoyo, of all people.

"we aren't dating!" you exclaim, shaking your hands in front of you adamantly as disgust paints over your facial features. "we're cousins."

as the club eventually quiets down, you meet asahi's gaze over the commotion. when you offer him a bashful smile, he can't help but return it.

as expected, yuu is also whipped for you the second you meet

he swears on his life that he has never met someone as perfect as you—not even kiyoko (which says a lot)

at first, his attraction to you is entirely physical and he doesn't hide it

he compliments you every time he sees you he even compliments your outfits even if you're just wearing the karasuno uniform

he practically begs shoyo to bring you to practice just so he has an excuse to ogle at you and profess his 'undying love'

you'd probably make good friends with kiyoko, bonding over the second years' unabashed feelings and loud professions of love lol

though he's completely smitten with your looks, yuu doesn't learn a thing about you until like two months after your transfer

he realizes it when koshi asks if he knows anything about you and no, the fact that you're pretty doesn't count as something

during a late night run to the nearest convenience store, he runs into you

you're dressed casually, and he realizes it's actually the first time he's seen you outside of uniform

he thinks you're very cute in your bunny pajamas

he approaches you with koshi's words in mind, and asks if you want to hang out for a bit

your hang outs become a common thing, and eventually it's your weekend tradition to meet at the convenient store after sundown

after really getting to know you, he realizes that he likes more than just your appearance

shockingly, once he figures out his feelings for you, he tones down a lot

he would stop confessing his love for you every moment he could, but he gets casually affectionate with you

he'd always stand close enough for your shoulders to touch and would absentmindedly guide you places by taking your hand

he's never had a real crush on anyone before, so he's feeling it out with you

nishinoya yuu! has hearts in his eyes the moment he meets you. shoyo brought you to practice one day, excited to introduce his favourite cousin to his teammates. he had all but dragged you to the gym by the wrist, ignoring your insistent utterings that you can walk on your own.

"this is my cousin!" shoyo announces the second he bursts through the doors in true hinata shoyo fashion. you were the last ones to show up, so the entire team was there to witness you getting dragged in by shoyo. "they transferred here from overseas."

yuu feels the world stop once he glances over at you after receiving a particularly harsh spike from tobio, freezing into his squatted position. his world becomes a romcom movie—he swears someone must be blowing a fan in your direction with the way your hair sways as you walk into the gym. he might even be seeing the air sparkle in your presence.

he's absolutely starstruck with you, and he makes no effort to hide it as he bounds over to you. he takes your hands in his, looking at you with wide eyes as he takes you in. he can hear someone groaning, maybe daichi, as they mutter something along the lines of "he's at it again."

"i'm nishinoya yuu," he introduces himself. "you're really cute!"

your mouth opens, but no words come out as you simply stare at yuu in surprise. shoyo had given you a brief rundown of his group members, and you realize that this might be why he warned you about the libero in particular.

even when daichi smacks the back of his head, apologizing to you quietly, yuu remains in his lovestruck gaze.

you stay to watch their practice, at both shoyo and yuu's insistence, and yuu makes a point to be even more extravagant than usual. you can't help but laugh at his boisterous rolling receives and the way he calls out ridiculous move names.

oh ryuu. typical ryuu.

the first words he ever speaks to you end up with him getting slapped

like yuu, he thinks you've been blessed by the gods with your looks and he makes it clear to you when you meet

he asks you to go out with him, only to blatantly check you out right after, which earned him a smack to the face

eventually, he does apologize for his behaviour, though you don't accept it right away

when you tell him that you hate guys who treat others like eye candy, he's sure to tone it down for you

of course, a man can't change overnight

he still flirts with you, and with other women—he can't help it ;( him n yuu are menaces

however, when he's not being an absolute pest, he gets to know you

he learns about your interests and hobbies, and finds himself indulging you in them (who would've thought he'd end up enjoying the art of bracelet making?)

when you become close friends, you become his person

he goes to you whenever he wants to talk about something, and he lends an ear whenever you need to vent

he asks you about your home country often, wanting to know more about your life before you came to japan

he'd even go out of his way to do things for you that remind you of home whenever you start feeling homesick :)

it's not until well after graduation when he realizes that he might actually like you

tanaka ryuunosuke! was mid confession when you met. shoyo had brought you to one of their games, and just as ryuunosuke was getting on his knees to ask kiyoko to marry him, his eyes fall on you.

it's almost astounding how quickly the second year moved from the glasses-wearing beauty to you, appearing in front of you in an instant. before shoyo can even introduce you, he stares you down with a steeled expression, his eyes narrowing.

"you're the prettiest person i've ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on," he claims in his most serious tone. he takes your hands in his as he presses his lips to your knuckles. "please go out with me."

there's a collective sigh as the team turns away at his antics. you, on the other hand, feel your head pound in irritation. "excuse me?"

ryuunosuke doesn't hear the vexation in your tone, or chooses to ignore it, as his eyes trail over your features. even when you're staring at him in an angry disbelief, he thinks you're incredibly pretty. however, as his eyes drop lower and lower, his mind enters a less-than-appropriate headspace.

the feeling of your hand connecting with his cheek rips him out of his lewd daydreams. you didn't slap him hard, but the sound echoed over the loud chatter of the audience members anyway. "you pervert," you utter, gritting your teeth as you turn on your heel. you barely tell shoyo good luck as you all but stomp off to the bleachers.

ryuunosuke stares at your back, holding his reddening cheek in mild awe. yuu nudges his side. "don't tell me you're into that, man."

he at least has the grace to blush.

to be honest, you and tobio do not get along until much later

it's not because you're related to shoyo it is

he just genuinely has no idea how to talk to you lmao

you meet him on the first day of school with shoyo

the realization that he may be teammates with the very guy he had practically berated in middle school took priority over greeting you tbh

it's only after their initial fight when he realizes that you, a complete stranger, saw him yell at shoyo as harshly as he did (even if shoyo didn't have many nice things to say either)

he's kinda embarrassed abt it tbh

like?? you had to see him like that?? he's mortified

so when he joins the volleyball club and you're a manager, he avoids you like the plague

when he talks to you, he accidentally comes across as if he hates your guts (he doesn't, he just cannot properly converse with people to save his life)

your relationship is extremely terse for months, since you get pissed off at his behaviour and he doesn't know how to act normally around you

he doesn't warm up to you until one of their games later in the season, where the morale is low and the team is hanging their heads

you give them an uplifting speech, telling the team that they're stronger than they think

it's the first time tobio looks at you in a pleasant light, and he merely puts a hand on your shoulder to say thanks as he makes his way back to the court

slowburn as fuck tbh he might not even realize he likes you until you're about to graduate (cut him some slack he's only a lil slow)

kageyama tobio! barely acknowledges your existence when you meet. you had moved to japan before their first year at karasuno began, so you showed up with shoyo to the first day.

of course, tobio recognized shoyo immediately from their encounter in middle school. shoyo had dragged you to the gym to go with him to sign up for the volleyball club, insistent that you try to apply to be a manager or something. tobio was there, about to spike a volleyball.

the second shoyo and tobio lock eyes on each other, they're at it like cats and dogs, and you're left standing there in confusion. seeing shoyo as angry as he was is shocking to you and you wonder what the hell this other guy must've done to rile up your sunshine cousin so much.

tobio doesn't even look at you as he argues with shoyo, not meeting your eyes until after the fight has 'calmed' down. he stares at you quietly for a moment before averting his gaze, grumbling something under his breath as he leaves to retrieve the volleyball shoyo made him drop.

he doesn't say anything to you as you talk quietly with daichi about becoming a manager. he vaguely overhears shoyo introducing you as his cousin, but he's too annoyed to listen.

later on, when him and shoyo are finally accepted into the club, and you're brought on as a manager-in-training, tobio still ignores you.

you don't have your first conversation until a week later, when you corner him after practice. "what is your problem?" you demand, your hands propped on your hips. "i know you don't like sho, but you haven't said a single word to me since you joined the club."

tobio flushes in embarrassment as he stares at you. he doesn't mean to, but his eyes narrow into what could be perceived as a harsh glare. "i don't have anything to say," he says truthfully, his voice coming out colder than necessary.

when he rushes off to hide his growing fluster, you're left standing there confused.

you and kei barely interacted at first tbh

he had never seen you before and it was the weekend when you met so he had no reason to assume you'd ever talk again really

even after finding out you were related to shoyo, he didn't bat an eye

after all, he's not exactly going over to the orange-haired boy's house for sleepovers lolol

but to his surprise, you're in his classroom the next monday morning as a foreign exchange student

your classmates rush to you, overwhelming you with numerous questions about your hometown, and it's clear to kei that you're flustered

you meet his gaze over the crowd of people, and for a moment you're shocked to see him

however, before either of you can do anything, you get bombarded with even more questions

to your surprise and his, kei scoffs as he approaches your crowded desk

"can't you see you're bothering them?"

the gaggle of students dissipates with embarrassed apologies, leaving you and kei alone

your relationship with him from then on is odd

there's an unspoken agreement that you both don't like being bothered by other people, and you lowkey bond over it

he would never admit you're friends, but he comes to your rescue often

if you can't understand a phrase or if you don't know the answer to a question in class, he'll quietly help you out (but don't bother asking about it, 'cus he'll deny it vehemently)

when you start hanging out during practices, he ruffles your hair and rests his arm on your head regardless of your height

making fun of you is his love language (not that he'd ever admit he has feelings)

tsukishima kei! meets you when you're babysitting natsu. the team had been out getting ice cream (as per koshi's insistence—for team building), leaving kei in a sour mood because he would rather be anywhere than here.

"shoyo! sho!"

the whole team looks over, seeing a little girl who is the spitting image of their short middle blocker running toward them. kei's expression drops even more, because there's two of them?

shoyo almost drops his ice cream cone with the way the little girl jumps on him. "what are you doing here?" shoyo asks, scrambling to catch his sweet treat. "where's—"

before he can finish his sentence, another figure comes running at them, out of breath. "natsu!" you scold airily as you make your way up to the team, hunching over and resting your hands on your knees as you try to catch your breath. "jesus, don't just run off like that!"

you look up at shoyo from your hunched position, letting kei get a good look at your face. you're flushed, sweat beading on your brow bone and lips are parted as you breathe harshly through them. it's clear to the blond that you've been running around for some time now, something that makes him snort into his strawberry ice cream cup.

"sorry, sho," you wince, practically dragging the little girl, natsu, to your side. "she ran off while i was paying for her snacks. she probably saw you through the window." you vaguely gesture to a nearby convenience store, holding up a bag of candy.

you talk with shoyo for another moment, before turning to the rest of the team. your eyes briefly meet kei's and he arches a brow at you. you apologize for interrupting them, but daichi insists that you're fine and that you and natsu can hang around since you're there anyway.

as a result, you and kei end up standing near each other as the group converses. kei had been hanging a little bit away from the others, minus tadashi of course. you end up near him by coincidence—you don't know the others, and the three of you end up quietly sitting in acknowledgement that you didn't want to talk.

my darling baby tadashi is a mess when you meet <3

he was practicing his volleyball skills when he accidentally whams you in the face

he'd feel guilty about it for a while (even if you insist you're fine) and would use it as an excuse to buy you drinks from the vending machines lol

"this is the fourth drink you've bought me this week??"

"i have to make up for hitting you somehow :((("

becoming friends with tadashi is surprisingly easy, given how shy he can be

it becomes a habit to meet you by the vending machines before practice

the time in the halls between classes and volleyball are spent getting to know you

he asks a lot of questions about what it's like in your hometown and the differences in your culture

i don't think he'd start liking you until after you also get close with kei though lol good luck

the first time he sees you joking around with the tall blond, he thinks his heart is about to beat out of his chest

you must be an angel, he decides as he watches you get along with kei

the three of you form a trio and you end up spending more time with them than shoyo LOL

kei absolutely knows about tadashi's feelings and takes every opportunity to tease him about it whilst you're blissfully unaware

he's so so smitten around you after he realizes he likes you

the type to look at you like you hung the stars in the sky yourself and to becoming maddeningly red whenever you so much as make eye contact with him

yamaguchi tadashi! hits you in the head the first time he meets you. he was in the gym alone, practicing his float serve. you pushed through the heavy metal doors just in time to get slammed in the face with a ball gone awry.

he feels his heart drop to his toes as he quickly rushes over to you, asking if you're alright and if you need to see the nurse. his panic only worsens when he realizes you're bleeding from your nose.

although the hit shocked you, you're left watching in amusement as tadashi scrambles to find something to stop your nosebleed with. when he eventually returns to you, having ran from the boys washroom to grab a wad of papertowel, he apologizes again softly.

"are you okay now...?" he asks when your nosebleed finally stops. he looks almost like a kicked puppy, his hair falling limply into his eyes.

even after you reassure him that you're fine, tadashi still wears his guilt like a crown. he offers to buy you something from the vending machines, and does so despite your insistence that he doesn't need to.

"you can accept it for my sake," he says sheepishly as he offers you the cold can. the two of you converse quietly, with you introducing yourself as a new foreign exchange student.

"oh!" he suddenly lets out, looking over at you. "did you need something in the gym?"

"i was looking for my cousin," you sigh. "he said he was in the volleyball club and i haven't been able to find him at all today."

he's shocked when he finds out that you're shoyo's cousin—the boy had talked about you earlier in the week when he found out you were transferring to karasuno. as you talk, tadashi thinks to himself that shoyo never mentioned how cute you were.

your first meeting with keishin is awkward

ltrly knocks you off your feet when he runs into you

he's kind of brash when he meets you, not caring if you think of him badly because of it

you don't have much of a relationship at first—your work pulls you to the classrooms after all, so he doesn't really see you around often

the next time he sees you, you're stomping into the gymnasium mid practice with an irked expression

he's about to tell you off for interrupting practice, but he quiets when he sees you make your way to your younger cousin

he only watches in amusement when you tell him off for his horrid grades

when shoyo turns to keishin for help, he only shrugs with a lazy grin on his face

"sorry, little man, you heard 'em. no volleyball games until you raise your grades"

to shoyo's chagrin, you and keishin make a terrifying pair for him (and the other three idiots lolol)

you only really start hanging out with him when you end up making a late night run at his convenience store

it's the first time he sees you in casual clothing and the case of beer in your hands makes him laugh

"you wanna share that?"

he becomes your drinking buddy every other weekend, and he grows to cherish the time you spend chugging back cans of beer with him

keeps his feelings on the downlow, but as time goes on even the boys realize that their coach has a soft spot for you

ukai keishin! bodies you the first time you meet. the man doesn't realize his own strength until he literally knocks you flat on his ass after he turns a corner and bumps into you. his eyes go wide when the books and papers in your hands go flying, falling around you in a frenzy.

"shit," he curses under his breath, bending down to pick up your things. "sorry 'bout that." his voice is gruff as he speaks, collecting your papers without much care. when he returns them to you, some of them are scuffed and crumpled.

as he's handing you your things, he finally gets a good look at you. you're dressed more formally than he is by a mile. he holds a hand out to help you to your feet, his brown eyes falling to the lanyard around your neck.

"you new here?" he asks, jutting his chin out to gesture to your nametag. student teacher is typed above your name and picture.

you nod deftly, brushing off any dirt from your dress pants. "i started today. and you are?" your eyes meet his, and he knows you're silently scrutinizing him. he's much too old to be a student, you deduce easily, but he's dressed far more casually than any other other teachers.

when your eyes drift up to his bleached hair, he snorts. "i'm the coach for the volleyball club," he grumbles. "i don't need to be wearing fancy shit like you."

he sees your eyes light up in recognition as he analyzes your face with crossed arms. "the volleyball club? you must know my cousin then. hinata shoyo?"

keishin deadpans at you. "you're the runt's cousin?"

©AVATARCHIC please do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or copy any of my works.