#like mates ... i know it may seem hard to believe today ...

[colognedecigarette]

i seem to have fallen into some kind of a rabbit hole and losing me mind at a worrying pace. people call wearing henna a cultural appropriation? when at this point it's been spread to so many different countries, all with their different takes of its usage and meaning?? why and how??? because as far as am aware the indian and arab* sailors and traders back in the day were happy to share what they got on pretty much every port they found themselves in, including henna, because ... that's kinda the point. like, yeah, am sure there are groups to whom henna holds a significant cultural and/or religious meaning, or at the very least have specific patterns that are. and there's bound to be just as many groups to whom henna is just a decorative kinda thing, to be worn for festivities or for fun, for those afternoons you're kinda bored and got too much time on your hands.

at this point you can't even call wearing henna a form of CA just based off one or two regions due to their specific meanings alone; there's like, a whole continent and a half to consider, with even the latest import happening, like, during the single or at most double-digit century. that's fucking old. not as old as like, egypt or even india sure, but still old enough to have fully be ingrained in their own cultures.

*singling out indians and arabs bc they were the two actors most relevant to how my people got introduced to henna in the first place. idk about others, lol.

[politemenacephd]

Arachnophilia (Part Three)

Drider!Miguel O'Hara x Reader (+18)

Chapter Masterlist 🕷️

Contents (part three): Mating cycles, rutting, P in V sex, monster/human relationship, breeding kink, oral (reader recieving).

You're a new recruit to the spider society, and you've just been sent on your first mission on one condition: Do not contact Miguel's variant in this universe. When your mission goes wrong you break that rule very quickly, desperate for help, only to find that Miguel's variant here is not what you expected. He's stoic but kind, awkward but sincere, and he's also an enormous human-spider hybrid: a drider, both human and arachnid. You decide to continue seeing Miguel in secret, with the rest of the society unaware. You really want to stay friends after all. That is, until Miguel suddenly goes into a rut. Word count: 6836 notes: smut starts now pls enjoy lol

You didn’t tell Miguel about his variant, nor did you tell anyone else.

You didn’t know exactly why Miguel didn’t like him. Mig had suggested that it was some territorial display, but that seemed hard to believe. You supposed you would just have to live with the curiosity. You knew that any questions you asked Miguel would result in getting stonewalled, or worse, may lead to them finding out you’d broken a direct order.

So you kept your visits secret, and you kept them frequent, because in truth you liked this Miguel a lot. You certainly liked him more than anyone in the HQ. Not to say you disliked your other colleagues, but you enjoyed your time with him in a way you never had with them.

Miguel was strangely sweet. He was incredibly awkward, clearly lacking much social interaction since his unfortunate splicing incident, but he did his best to be kind and accommodating.

You spent full days when not on call just hanging around in the glade with him. At first you just talked, but over time you started getting up to more.

He took you on trips to the top of the forest where you could see the stars, even letting you ride on his back when you got tired. You sat beneath silk shields while it rained and dozed off at his side. You helped brush out the abdomen fur he couldn’t reach, and he in return helped massage your wrists when they got sore from webbing.

You brought him food and tech for him to experiment on, and he in turn brought you little items made of his silk. One time you mentioned that you’d run out of socks so he knitted you a pair, and another time he patched up your suit for free. He always said you attention was payment enough.

You’d started calling him Migs, and he’d started calling you ‘arañita’ as a show of friendship.

You were quickly falling head over heels for the man. He was undeniably handsome and just so attentive to you in ways no one else had ever been, it was hard not to crave him.

Today you were prepped to leave as usual. You hadn’t been called for any missions and you could see your superiors were also free, meaning they’d definitely get picked first if anything happened, making today a sure write-off.

In a quiet corridor you began inputting the location of Mig’s universe. You weren’t expecting anyone to come by here, but you were very unlucky.

‘What are you doing?’

You jumped as a man’s voice barked behind you. That voice was uncannily familiar now.

‘A-Ah, boss, hey!’

You spun to find Miguel staring down at you with his usual sour expression, his lips pursed and brows knotted. Nowadays he always seemed bothered by something. You offered him a polite smile.

‘Is- is everything okay, or—’

‘What are you doing?’

His bark of an order made you freeze. God, he was so different to your Mig. Spider Miguel almost never raised his voice. He was quiet, stoic, awkward but trying his best to be empathetic. This Miguel seemed so tightly wound in comparison.

‘I- I’m just, going home’ you said, shiftily hiding your watch. Miguel narrowed his eyes.

‘Why are you up here?’

‘I’m just… I’m just, getting out of the way so I can send a few messages before going’ you said, your politeness beginning to slip. You didn’t appreciate his prying.

He took a step closer, boxing you into the corner. You felt so small in his presence.

Then, to your confusion, he closed his eyes and breathed. It wasn’t normal breathing though, oh no, this was deep. It was long, drawn out, deliberate. Was he, smelling? Was he smelling you?

When he opened his eyes again, they were burning red, their light reflecting onto your cheek.

For just a brief moment your gut knotted with anxiety. Why wasn’t he moving? What was he going to do? You realized that in your attempt to be alone you’d wound up in a corridor corner with no other spiders around. How had he even known you were here? Was he following you?

‘Hmm.’

To your relief, Miguel grunted and withdrew. He looked even more tightly wound than before. ‘Just- be, safe’ he mumbled, and without another word he stormed away. His body looked rigid.

You wasted no time in drawing up a portal the second he was gone.

On the other side it was a beautiful evening, with the sky above radiating soft, deep shades of indigo and red. You hurried into the forest with just the light of your watch to guide your way.

You tried your best to forget Miguel as you followed the usual landmarks to Mig. The mushroom patch by the dead stump, the little winding brook you had to jump across, the patch of stones which you’d stacked to look like a tiny house.

Why was Miguel acting so weird? He’d never paid attention to you before. You’d felt like a fly in his space, an annoying gnat he was trying to push off onto anyone else, so to have him cornering and questioning you was absurd.

What had changed? Did he somehow know you were visiting his variant?

You frowned at that thought. Jesus, you weren’t a child. You didn’t have to obey him, this was your private, personal matter. Mig was your friend. You had a right to see him.

At last you entered the big clearing where you and Mig usually met to hang out. You were surprised to see he wasn’t there.

‘Mig?’

You called his name and kicked a few stones around. Where was he? You cried his name again and spun in a circle. ‘MIG! Mig!’

A soft, sweet breath suddenly hit your nape. You froze up.

You could feel his shadow at your back. You could feel the weight of his body, the brush of his breath. You could see the little hint that his eyes were close, as tiny, reflected shards of red light began to dance over your shoulder.

You grinned and spun around, wrapping your arms around his waist. You squeezed in tight to that familiar body.

‘Mig! You—ARGH!’

With a groan your body was smooshed into the dirt. His entire monstrous form came down on your frail chest, pinning you to the ground. His clawed human hands found your wrists and your throat, holding them in place, as his abdomen came down on your lower torso. He rustled slightly against you as you wheezed.

‘M-Mig?’ you croaked.

Your eyes met. His were burning red, almost bloodshot, wide and dilated. He panted on your face, his fangs bared. He hissed.

‘You… You…’

He panted those words a few times. He was shaking, you realized, like he was holding something back at great physical expense. After a moments silence he grunted and physically forced himself off.

‘Mierda- mierda, ah- I’m so sorry, arañita, I’m- so sorry.’

You shuffled into a sitting position. ‘Mig? What- are you okay?’

‘You need to go’ he insisted. He was pacing wildly now, drifting closer to you before hurrying back. It was like some invisible force was driving him back to your body.

It was only then that it clicked. The tension in his body, the heavy breathing, the dilated pupils and twitching abdomen. Your spider senses picked it up quickly once the panic died down.

‘Oh, you’re—’

He was rutting. Of course he was, you thought, as your face burned up with embarrassment. He was a spider after all. He was in breeding mode, and your presence must be an unbearable distraction.

‘I’m sorry, I don’t- want to conduct myself, poorly’ he grunted.

‘No, it’s okay- you, I mean you’re doing fine! I get it, it’s not your fault, you’re- you’re you, I get it. I can um- I mean is there anything I can do? To help? I could—’  

You tried to take a step forward, hoping to comfort him by taking his foreleg paw, but he pulled away. He’d never pulled away from you before.

‘No, that’s not- you, you’re making it worse’ he blurted.

Instinctively you frowned. ‘I’m- what do you mean I’m making it worse? I’m not, trying to—’

‘I’m sorry’ he blurted again, his hands raised. ‘I’m sorry, arañita, you- mm, fuck—’ He paused to scrape his claws down his face. They didn’t break the skin but it was clear he was trying to claw back some control. ‘I didn’t mean it like that. You’re right. You haven’t done anything. It’s not your fault, but you—’

He put his hand to his mouth, his eyes turning to the side. He looked horribly embarrassed.

‘You, you’re…’

‘I’m, what?’

He rubbed his jaw and groaned a little, as if it was painful to admit. ‘You- you’re in heat’ he hissed.

You blinked at him, too shocked to reply right away. ‘I… I’m, wh- I’m what?’

‘You’re in heat, arañita’ Miguel repeated through gritted teeth. ‘You’re- ovulating. I can smell it. The- you’re letting off, pheromones, and it’s…’

‘It’s setting you off’ you said, your voice wheezing as you said it. Miguel gave a mortified nod. Now both too embarrassed to face each other you turned and stared into the forest, your arms tightly folded as if they would hold you together. 

‘I’m sorry, Mig, I didn’t—’

‘You have nothing to be sorry about’ Miguel insisted. You began tapping your foot.

‘You- I would have understood, Mig. I DO understand. You could have told me.’

‘You’re my friend’ he insisted. ‘I didn’t want to make things weird, but I can’t… God, you smell so, good—’ Your heart thudded a little harder as Miguel turned in a circle, trying to hide his arousal.

‘I’m a pervert’ he hissed. ‘I’m a- filthy, pervert—’

‘What? No, you’re—’

‘I can’t lie.’

You paused at Miguel’s aggressive interruption. You could see his claws were out, his hands trembling as he struggled to maintain this polite conversation.

‘I can’t- lie, even if I wanted to. It’s not in my nature. So listen to me. Listen to me clearly.’

You slowly nodded and settled down on the earth, bidding him to continue. He swallowed hard. It was clearly hard for him to get out, but as another breeze blew your scent into his nose something primal overtook him.

‘All I can think about, is breeding with you’ he rasped. ‘I want you to have my babies, arañita. All I want to do is just- tear through those clothes, and taste your pussy, and web you down so I can penetrate you. I want to- feel you, from the inside. I want to fill your tight little cunt with my seed and plug you so no one else can have you. I want my genes in you so much it hurts.’

You felt your face getting warmer with each word. You were a little offput by the feel of your own clit throbbing in response to his fantasy.

‘If you stay, I won’t have any control. My- urge, is burning me up. So, please…’

With a soft whine he shuffled again, trying his best to not get erect as your dizzying scent filled his nose. You watched as he tried to turn away.

He was giving you the chance to leave. You could go, now, and presumably return when his rut had died down and your ovulation had ended. You could go and pretend this never happened.

That’s what he was offering. But, is that what you wanted?

Part of you was afraid. You didn’t know what would happen if you stayed, and yet, another part of you was deeply curious, and that part was being fed by your fear. You didn’t want to admit it, but the fear aroused you.

You couldn’t bring yourself to leave. Instead, you began to tread the waters of this strange, unbroached pool, coaxing a little more.

‘Why me?’

He turned at your question. It was clear that it was getting harder for him to resist the urge.

‘Is it, just- I’m close by and I’m in heat, so… You know, I’m just- convenient?’

‘No. No, arañita. You’re- perfect’ he murmured, his voice dipping into a slight moan. He seemed like he was on a hair trigger, physically straining under the weight of his own lust.

‘You’re in heat, yes, but it’s more than that. I like you, you’re- kind, and powerful, and thoughtful. You have spider genes, like me, so- we’re genetically compatible. And you’re- you’re, so, small.’ He whined on the word small, like it did something extra perverse to him. ‘Small, safe, strong, beautiful. Unbred.’

He crept a little closer and you sank into the floor, letting his body overshadow your own. He was shaking with intensity, crawling on his belly like a dog begging for scraps.

‘You’re too perfect, you are- priceless. Mi tesoro. I would do anything to have you. Which is why…. Please, I can’t—’

He turned again and physically bit his lip. You could feel his tension like a force, as if just his desire to grab you was manifesting in the air.

And yet, still, you refused to leave.

You couldn’t help it, something about him enticed you. Perhaps you were sensing his hormonal changes as well, and it was swaying some deep and primal part of your mind. Perhaps you were just horny.

But god, you were a pervert too. The idea of that massive man in all his monstrous glory holding you down and taking you in the dirt was so incredibly arousing.

And it’s not like you weren’t attracted to him outside of that. He wasn’t a normal man, but he was ruggedly handsome. You liked his face. You liked his chiselled jaw and open, honest eyes. You liked his thick, stocky, muscular body.

There was an allure to him, one you were quickly realizing might just be enough to make you stay.

You remained seated in the dirt beneath him, and gradually he began to turn back. His eyes widened. You hadn’t left.

‘Are, you—’

‘I can… at least, relieve some of that tension, maybe. If you wanted’ you murmured.

He moved closer on instinct. You could sense the tension in his body as his spider legs tapped back and forth. He was holding back the urge to do something. Web you down? Grab you? All those ideas excited you.

‘I would be a good mate’ he whispered as he bent down towards you. His legs folded so his torso could find yours, his clawed hands cupping your face. ‘I’m strong. I’m fit. I have good genes. Our babies would be well cared for.’

You knew his hormones were compelling him to speak. You didn’t know how to say that none of that stuff bothered you, that all you cared about was letting this ruggedly handsome beast rail you into the dirt until you couldn’t feel your legs.

‘Can- I mean, can we, actually… Are we compatible?’ you whispered.

‘I have some- adaptations, but, yes. I can attach the genetic package to my pedipalps and transfer, or…’ Almost shyly he moved upward, showing off his abdomen. ‘As a partial human, I could… May I show you?’

You gave a quick nod. He looked a little embarrassed at first, but in the heat of the moment he caved.

A small slit widened on the abdomen beneath his torso, right between his two smaller forelegs. The black and red fur parted to reveal an erect phallus. It was red with black veins, long with a slight curve and a thick point at the end.

‘With you, I can just… transfer directly.’

You felt your whole body throb at the sight. Without thinking your hand drifted forward, measuring his erection with your fingers and palm. You almost choked; he was huge. You wrapped your fist around the thick, girthy, veiny shaft and gave it a soft stroke.

‘Ah- mi arañita—’

Miguel’s lips fell apart at your sudden touch. His whole body shuddered and jolted, trying to push it into your hand. You gave in to your own throbbing clit and gingerly gave it a lick.

‘A-Ah-! F-F-Fuck—’ His mouth widened with a mixture of shock and excitement, as the brush of your tongue caused his fangs to flex and involuntarily squirt venom down his jaw.

His whole body shivered with excitement as his phallus throbbed in your hand, precum pooling from the tip. You tasted a bit of that too; it was strangely sweet.

‘Okay, okay- careful, arañita, I don’t- I’ll ravage you if you keep this up. I don’t want to hurt you. Let- let me do you, instead’ he whined.

‘Do, me? How—’

You squeaked as he tripped you, causing your body to fall into his outstretched human arms. With his spider legs he began to draw a line of silk, carefully knitting a kind of sticky hammock for your body to lay on top of. He dropped you into it the second he was done.

‘Come here, mi cariño.’

He bent until his human half was against your belly, his lips kissing from your navel to your inner thigh. You shuffled on the web but its light, sticky coating kept you stuck on your back.

He cupped your lower back in his clawed hand, drawing you up. With your legs now on either side of his head, he buried his face into your clothed pussy.

‘Mm…’

He breathed in deep, letting those sweet pheromones only he could smell fill his brain. His erect phallus throbbed.

‘You- smell so good.’

With his fangs he grabbed and tore a chunk of your suit aside, revealing your panties underneath.

‘H-Hey--!’

In his ravenous, pussy drunk state he didn’t even wait to remove them. He wound his tongue under the fabric and snuck a taste of your clit, eagerly lapping at the sensitive folds beneath. Your body shuddered with pleasure.

‘F-Fuck- careful, ah-‘

‘Need—more—’

With a hiss he pulled back. He allowed his claws to slice your suit from crotch to neck, splitting it open. In seconds your whole naked body was on display.

‘H-Hey, woah! I need that!’

‘I need you- please, fuck—’

His whole body shifted closer as he began to ravage every part of you he could get at. You felt his clawed hands squeezing and pinching your belly and waist as his lips caressed your chest, eagerly sucking on and biting at your nipples.

He ran a line of kisses down your body to your thighs. There, with one final, guttural growl, he tore your panties aside. You felt him breath in your scent. One deep breath in and one deep, hot breath out, one that caused your hips to squirm at the sensitivity.

‘Mine.’

With that final word he buried his face into your cunt. You let out a breathy scream, one that was quickly drowned by the empty forest. No one would hear you here but him.

Miguel continued to let out muffled groans as he sucked on your clit. He settled with his nose gently bumping the tip of your lips as he lapped at that sensitive nub, his head bobbing with each hard movement as he savoured the taste.

You were embarrassed at how quickly he managed to hit your spot. Your body was already hot and tight from just the thought of this, but the taboo of letting this monster touch you like this in the open forest was making you so much hotter.

You knew you shouldn’t be doing this. You had no idea what he could do to you, but that made it so much better.

Your skin was flushed, beading with sweat, and your clit was swollen to the point that it hurt. It was throbbing with a carnal need to be pleasured, and right now his tongue was doing a heavenly job of easing that ache. Now trapped in his web with his lips on your cunt, his gorgeous face perfectly framed between your thighs, your climax was inevitable. It rose up like a wildfire.

‘Migual- fuck, I’m gonna—’

With a soul-shattering shudder you came on his tongue. Your hips bucked with each flood of pleasure, your body jolting against your will. Your mouth fell open and a low, desperate moan left your lips, all while Miguel continued to suck on your clit.

‘Oh, fuck—fuck you’re so, good, y-you’re so good Mig, fuck…!’

Soon your body was lulling in that post-cum exhaustion, your chest heaving as you panted. You expected to have some time to recollect yourself, but Miguel had other ideas. He wiped his jaw clean of your gushing slick and pulled himself up to leer over your body. He looked utterly intoxicated, practically high off your body.

A low, grating noise left his throat as he put his left hand on your wrists, pinning them together, while his right hand went down to your soaked slit.

You didn’t see his hand enter you, but you felt it. You let out a raspy moan as one of his thick fingers penetrated your untouched hole, followed by a mewling whine as his thumb hit your overstimulated clit. He bit his lower lip as you squirmed on his hand.

‘That’s it’ he murmured, his voice husky. ‘One more for me, please. I need to- I need to make sure you’re ready for me.’

He started with one finger but soon moved to two, then finally pushing you to three. His fingers were rough and calloused from living in the forest, and you felt them very clearly as they began to squish in and out of your body.

Between the hard thrusts of his fingers and his thumb gently stroking your spot, not to mention the terrifyingly arousing image of his half spider body leering down over your head, you quickly shuddered into your second climax.

‘Good, arañita’ he praised, practically breathless as he watched you mewl and whine and spasm on his hand. His cock twitched again with anticipation. ‘Good, good arañita. Thank you.’

Miguel carefully slipped his hand aside, greedily licking your juices from his claws. You were utterly drained, your body limp at his feet.

He narrowed his eyes. You were in the perfect state.

With careful movements Miguel bent down until his hands could find yours. He interlocked your fingers together and pressed his lips to your own, and even in your dizzy state you managed to return the kiss.

The distraction of his lips allowed him to carefully pull away the rest of your tattered suit with his spider legs, leaving you fully naked. When the cold air hit your skin he parted his lips, letting his tongue slip into your mouth to further distract you. You eagerly gave in.

‘Mm- Miguel—’

His name was muffled on your lips by his own tongue as he moved to lift you into his arms. He broke the kiss once you were fully supported in his grip, allowing a long line of saliva to hang between you. He panted, hard, and licked your spit into his mouth before licking his fangs.

‘Now, mi arañita, may I have the honor of mating with you?’ he begged.

You gave a shaky, sleepy nod. ‘Y-Yes, please. Please.’

Miguel didn’t waste any time. He knew this was his one chance, and his primal spider senses were hounding him to consummate. With your body limp in his arms he crept towards one of the larger pines.

‘Shh, careful. I’m- going to put you up here, it’ll make it easier for your bodies to fit together’ he soothed. You just moaned.

Miguel held you with utmost care as he started to spin new webs, this time using them to carefully stick your body in place against the tree. He webbed your waist and belly in place before webbing your legs on either side of the trunk, keeping them spread, and at last finished by webbing your wrists together above your head.

The subtle binding was another part of his instinctual ritual. It was supposed to keep you calm. In truth, as you stirred in his web, it just excited you more.

Now bound and naked against the enormous oak you shuffled in the web, testing its strength. It held firm. It was sticky on your skin, warm and sinewy on the flesh, tight but not constrictive.

You could squirm, yes, but you couldn’t break free, and most importantly your legs were stuck in their separated position. You were shamelessly spread wide, and the cold air on your drenched sex was sending chills up your spine. Your hole clenched around nothing.

‘F-Fuck, ah- okay, okay—’

You glanced down and watched as Miguel began to climb the tree. He mounted you with absolute care, keeping his human torso close to yours as his spider body curled between your spread legs.

‘That’s it. I’ll be gentle’ he whispered. ‘I’ll be- careful, just- please, let me fuck you.’

You bit your lip as he pushed up. You could feel his phallus twitching for attention as his breath hit your forehead. You could tell even just from the tip nudging at you, desperately probing your slit, that he was going to split you open.

‘Ah- Miguel—’

He nestled into your hair, breathing in your scent. ‘This- might hurt a bit, but, I will be gentle. Just try to relax.’

‘F-Fuck—’

Your breath came short as he started to slip inside you.

His phallus was huge, smooth but huge, and his entrance was a struggle. He had to pump it carefully to get it deeper. Your slick was helping him loosen you up but even at your most aroused it was barely enough, and he was forced to nudge at your cunt to make it stretch for his girth.

He grit his teeth to stop himself pushing you too far. ‘Come on- come on, let me- in, please—’

After a good few pumps and a few squirms from you, he finally fit. He was inside you. You winced as he bottomed out.

‘F-Fuck, Mig you’re- huge—’

‘Ah… ah, that’s it. That’s it. You’re mine now, arañita. It’s done. It’s over.’

You were stuffed to the point of being immobile. Every little motion you did made you painfully aware of his cock inside you, throbbing and compressing on every inch of your insides.

You stole a shaky glance down, and realized with both horror and arousal that there was a bulge in your belly where’d he’d pushed in.

Miguel groaned and dug his claws into the bark on either side of your head. He must have sensed your discomfort as he quickly moved to keeping you distracted.

‘Mi hermosa arañita’ he praised, his lips brushing your forehead. ‘You feel- delicious.’

As he showered you in kisses and praise, he started to rut between your legs. His entire, enormous abdomen began to jerk back and forth, sliding his phallus in and out.

‘That’s it, just take it. You’re taking it so well.’

‘Fuck, fuck- Mig, you- feel so, good—’

‘That’s it, you can take it. Mm… Mm… Just let me breed with you, please.’

You lay back as he started to bite at your neck, eagerly nibbling and rolling the flesh between his fangs. You tried to adjust to the sensation.

It was strange, the feel of hot skin against your bare chest mixed with the rough, fluffy flesh of his spider half, both rubbing against your body as he pushed in and out. You could feel him moaning against your skin.

He started to thrust a little harder, drawing almost all the way out before pumping back in. You felt his abdomen smacking against yours with each gruff penetration. A cacophony of sound filled the quiet forest: the smack of skin on skin, the wet sliding squelch of slick and cum, the soft rustling of his spider body and the desperate pants and moans from your joint mouths.

You let out an extra loud moan as his cock began to rib at your g-spot. You clenched him, tight, and he scraped the bark by your head in response.

‘I can’t- believe, I- get to mate with you’ he whined. He seemed rapturous. ‘You’re such a- perfect catch.’

He began to grunt rhythmically with each insertion. You could feel him probing, touching, tasting every inch of your insides. His soft front-legs were pawing at your hips.

‘I would have fought for you’ he hissed. You clenched harder as he nudged at your cervix, right at the same moment his foreleg found its way to your clit. He began to massage that little knub as his thrusting continued.

‘I would have killed males twice my size for you. All for you.’

‘Mig…. Ah—’

You let out a shameless whine as he hit each spot. You were already overstimulated from cumming twice, and now his girthy phallus was bullying you from the inside while his sensitive foreleg began to bully your clit.

‘But you’re all mine’ he groaned. ‘You- gave, yourself- to me—’

Your bodies were almost totally glued together at this point, with sweat and webbing connecting you by the skin. His hot, sweaty abs and pecs were squished against your chest and belly, each moving in unison as he fucked you into submission.

You rasped with a mixture of pain and pleasure as he started to get rough. He bared his fangs against your cheek in a territorial display.

‘My mate. Mi tesoro. Mi arañita. Mine.’

Between the wet slip of his cock and the soft massaging of your clit, you could feel a third orgasm rising. It felt so much more intense like this. You kept tensing and twitching, your muscles squeezing him tight, allowing you to feel every single veiny inch of his shaft.

He must have noticed you getting close as he started to whine, begging and nestling himself into your hair like he was pleading for your favor.

‘Cum for me’ he groaned. ‘I want to feel it. Please. Ah—cum on my cock, please.’

He started to speed up as if he could force it out of you. Somehow, he was right.

With an exhausted shudder you climaxed for the third time. You screamed for this one, as your mind went blank the moment those orgasmic spasms rippled through your body. It was so much more intense while being fucked. You felt his cock nudging each violent burst of pleasure from inside you, and his self-satisfied whines against your head just added to your gratification.

‘Thank you, thank you—’ With each desperate expression of gratitude Miguel gave another sharp thrust.

Your body was a mess at this point, and all you could do was relax into the binding web and let him have you. He continued to hump vigorously towards his own climax.

He could feel it getting close. He could feel the throbbing of his cock increasing, as every hair on his body stood up. His vision was getting spotty. Some deep animal part of his brain took hold and compelled him with one overpowering desire: he had to cum in you. He had to cum now.

‘Okay, just- gotta, feed it through- gently now—’

Miguel grit his teeth as his cock throbbed. He couldn’t hold back anymore.

‘I’m- going to cum in you now, okay? Just, a-ah- stay still. This will probably feel, strange—’

You squirmed in the bindings as he started to pump harder. He was erratic, rough, utterly drunk on his own primal desires.  

‘Just like that, just- take it gently—’

And then, you felt it. He orgasmed abruptly inside you with a guttural moan, and bit by bit you felt his cock pulsing that thick seed into your pussy.

It was strange, like he’d warned. Load after load, rope after thick rope, filled the limited space of your insides until it was physically leaking down his shaft. He had to pull back and give shorter, desperate little humps to make room while still filling you with the last of his seed. You moaned through it all.

Slowly the throbs got shorter, less violent, until he’d thrust the last spurt into your opening. The two of you collapsed into a whining, panting mess.

‘Ah… finally. Finally.’

As he slipped out you realized that he’d squirted some kind of web secretion alongside his ejaculate, and your inner thighs was now coated in sticky webbing. You whined at the sight, as did he.

He was fixated on the cum oozing from your body and down your thighs. It was ridiculously thick. He was proud of that, but he couldn’t stand to see it wasted.

Using one of his spider legs he gently scooped up what cum he could and pushed it back inside you. He nudged it deeper, as deep as he could, before shifting his abdomen down and sealing you off with another smearing of web. You were too exhausted to even move.

‘Perfect’ he purred. ‘There. That-that should keep you plugged. Thank you, I can’t- say that enough, thank you.’ He pressed one shaky kiss to your forehead alongside his thanks.

In that post-cum daze you tried to gather your thoughts.

Oh god, what had you done? Had you really just done this? Had sex with a massive spider hybrid, unprotected?

Before you could think about it Miguel had begun cutting you down. He released your body from the thick web, but he didn’t let you go free. Instead, he wrapped you into a thin sheen of silk that acted as a blanket, covering you from the cold, before taking you into his human arms and carrying you down to his den.

It was a slightly uneven oval made of webbing, suspended between two giant pine trees with a small hole for entrance. He slid inside with your body tight to his chest.

‘Here, mi tesoro. You rest. You did so good.’

As you turned to look around you were surprised to find that the room was far warmer inside than its eerie exterior implied. He’d hung little firefly lamps on the walls to give it a soft orange glow, and the floor was covered in crude furniture made from wood and leaves. He had tables, desks, all covered in similar half-finished technology that the other Miguel’s office had, but he also had hand-crafted chairs and shelves adorning his home.

He crawled through the cosy little nest and lay you down on a silk-spun mattress in the corner. You sank into it immediately.

‘Ah… t-thank you’ you mumbled. Miguel just chuckled.

‘It’s the least I can do. You’ve done far more for me.’

You were too busy enjoying the luxurious bed to notice Miguel as he sank down beside you. His weight on the mattress did cause your body to bounce a few inches into the air, but the moment he settled you slid down to nestle against his side.

‘What’d you mean? I- barely did anything’ you asked with a yawn.

He pulled you in close and sighed. ‘You fool’ he murmured affectionately, ‘you gave me everything. I’m not stupid. Mating with me can’t be easy.’

‘Mm… I mean, I thought it was, really easy’ you sleepily chuckled. ‘Almost too easy.’

He gave a little exasperated head shake. Really you could have been saying anything right now and it would have endeared him to you. He already liked you, but now his hormones on top of that were compelling him to protect you, to keep you.  

‘Pretty little thing’ he whispered. You didn’t hear.

For an hour or so you drifted in and out of sleep at his side while he kept watch. He guarded your body jealously, like a dragon over treasure, with his dark red eyes solemnly fixed on the door. It was like he was waiting for someone to take you away.

As the sun began to set you finally awoke properly, and realized just how long you’d been absent. You noticed your watch beeping and groaned.

‘Argh… I should probably get back to work, but… I really just want to stay here’ you grumbled. The idea of leaving this place, where you were treated so tenderly as this special little one in a million creature, it was difficult to justify.

To your surprise Miguel bristled when you mentioned leaving, his soft black and red hair standing on end. You felt his claws grip you a little tighter.  

‘Ideally, I’m- supposed to keep you here’ Miguel murmured.

‘What? Why?’

‘Can’t have any competition.’

You felt his hands squeezing your flesh as he pulled you close to his abdomen. It was so warm, so strangely fuzzy and soft.

‘I… I assumed that was what the sealing was for.’

Miguel sniffed, his lip curling to reveal one of his fangs. ‘It is. But someone could remove it.’

You let out a sleepy chuckle. ‘Who?’

His eyes narrowed then, his fangs fully bared. ‘Your boss, for example. My, other variation. If you go back, and he smells you, he could… well, like I said, we are territorial. We don’t like competition. He would attempt to clean you of my genes and probably replace them with his own, if he could entice you.’

You blinked in surprise at this revelation. Wait, was that why HQ Miguel kept looking at you strangely? Did he know? Could he, as Miguel here said, smell it?

‘But… I thought, you were rutting because the- I don’t wanna be mean, but um- the splicing? You, being—’

‘He’s just as half-spider as I am’ Miguel grumbled. ‘He just doesn’t look it. But I guarantee he can smell the same as me, he- feels the same urges.’

‘I- Huh. Huh.’

You rolled onto your back to ponder that fact. Mig had always been honest enough, so you believed him that he at least believed the other Miguel would try to entice you too. Did that mean it was actually dangerous to return? Would anyone else smell Mig on you?

Your mind wondered back to the issue of what exactly you’d done here. Was this a mistake? Should you have let this giant spider monster have sex with you?

Now that you were more lucid, the answer was clear. Yes. A thousand times yes.

‘You know, Mig, the- benefit, to being partly human, is I can say very clearly that I don’t want anyone else.’

You felt him bristle with surprise as you spoke.

‘You… you don’t?’

‘Nope.’

‘But- me?’

‘Yeah. You. I like… big.’

The soft arousal in his eyes was palpable. You liked the way his little abdomen twitched and wriggled, almost like a dog shaking its tail.

‘You… You like, me? You liked… it?’

You let your eyelids droop as you pressed against his lower human half, stroking the curves of his pelvic muscles.

‘I like big. I like- rough. I like you.’

His back spider leg did a little stamp against the webbed floor. He was adorably excited by even that small compliment. He bent down to your height while emitting a low purring noise from his throat.  

‘Well… most, spiders, ideally try to mate multiple times. If the, partner is willing’ he murmured. You could already hear that the brief respite your copulation had brought was slipping away. His voice had dipped, growing husky and smooth, a sure sign of his hormonal heat returning. You gave a sleepy chuckle.

‘What about the seal?’

‘I’ll remove it’ he purred. ‘I’ll remove it, cum in you again and then seal you back up. Over, and over.’

Just the words caused a soft moan to escape your lips. You curled closer. ‘Mm. You’re lucky I enjoyed it then. Can I at least rest up a bit first, though?’

His eyes were affectionate as he watched you curl into a ball against his fluffy abdomen.

‘Of course, arañita.’ Miguel bent to press his lips to your cheek. ‘Rest all you want. But… I will have you again.’

His soft words and warm breath made you shudder. There was an intensity in those words. ‘I will take you again, and again, until it sticks.’

‘Don’t- don’t you mean, just, until the heat finishes?’

A soft smile spread across his face as his eyelids drooped. ‘No. Because it will stick. There’s no doubt about that. I will get you pregnant.’

You gasped as his teeth suddenly hit your neck, his lips trailing down your naked chest. You felt his full weight as he held you beneath him.

‘I just hope it takes a little longer, so I can enjoy you fully. Mi hermosa arañita.’

Link to part four

[raddocwrites]

SNW drabbles

Did I miss the wedding bells?

Ortegas breathed a sigh of relief and was about to enter their cell when the hairs on the back of her neck rose. She turned slowly and saw a solitary figure watching her from the shadows. She squared her shoulders and held her head up as the Klingon uncrossed his arms and casually pushed himself off the cave wall. He slowly ambled over.

Ortegas eyed him suspiciously as she took several steps forward. He was old for a Klingon, with a shock of white hair and an ample paunch around the middle. He smiled at her, which with Klingons, could mean several different things.

“You did well today, little warrior,” the Klingon rumbled in a deep, gravelly voice.

Ortegas blinked. She stood her ground and lifted her chin. She felt her hackles rise just looking at him. The sound of Klingon battle cries and screams and explosions flashed through her mind.

The Klingon chuckled and held out his hands showing he was no threat. (Like she was going to believe that). He slowed his approach and stopped several feet from ortegas and the entrance to their alcove.

“I mean it. Many do not survive their first day here. Congratulations on keeping all your mates alive.”

Ortegas eyebrows rose so high they nearly disappeared. But the Klingon kept going. “It must be hard with so many wives. But you kept them all safe, even from themselves. ESPECIALLY from themselves, yes?”

Ortegas blinked again, not sure what to say. “Right,” she said noncommittally.

“It was honorable to see how you care for your youngest companion. She is injured, but anyone with eyes can see how beautiful she is.”

Something in his tone irked ortegas. She bristled. “She is an OFFICER in Starfleet,” she said sharply.

The Klingon exclaimed happily, “Agh! So she is smart as well. Truly a lethal combination.” He winked. “Almost as lethal as the small but ferocious one. Keeping her in line must be a full-time duty. Full time duty of…pleasure.” The Klingon actually winked at her.

Ortegas couldn’t decide if she should be offended or scoff at the absurdity. “No one controls la’an.” Except for maybe number one, ortegas thought, but didn’t add.

The Klingon laughed again. “As you say,” he declared, clearly not believing her. “Your tall spouse may think she is in command. But I see true. You, are the heart.” He eyed her up and down again. “Though coupling with her must be most entertaining. As you are tiny.”

Ortegas squared her shoulders and scowled. This had gone on long enough. “I am not anything but someone with experience being held prisoner. Except, this time, my captors aren’t Klingon.” Her nostrils flared and she clenched her fists. She blew out several breaths trying to stay calm.

The Klingon seemed to show actual regret. “Ahh,” he said slowly. “This is true. I understand, little warrior. It appears your wife in white, also understands. I am happy you have someone to share your grief with.” He patted his belly absently. “As I grow old and weak, it strikes as a fine thing. To have more than coupling. To have friendship as well.” He looked longingly beyond ortegas into their hovel. “I am jealous of your family,” he said with a sad tip of his head.

Ortegas still didn’t know what to say so she just watched him turn and walk away. After several seconds she shook her head and turned.

[destinyc1020]

you talk a lot about how tom and z have that glow with each other (or idk how you specifically put it into words, but just that you can really tell that they are meant to be together).

now that the topic is brought up with olivia and austin, ik you right them off as a fling and just costars. it could just be me, but the way they both just lit up with each other. some of their interviews will always be in my mind, like the way olivia was always so breathless near him or the way austins face would turn beat red after she would compliment him. they were always joking around taking the joke farther then it needed to be bc they wanted to see each other laugh.

ik he's with kaia now and they are so adorable, but i do miss whatever olivia and austin had! (hopefully this doesn't sound too weird or crazy haha)

Tomdaya definitely have a certain special SOMETHING that I don't see with most celebrity couples today (just being honest!).

Call it a je ne sais quoi if you will. 🥰

I don't even believe in "soul mates" (I think that individuals can have a wonderful, loving, and connected relationship with a VARIETY of multiple people on this earth), but Tom and Zendaya just seem like they "fit" with each other. Like, it would be harrrrrd for them to find others out here who they really click with and have the same fulfilling, "madly-in-love-with-each-other" relationship that they have with each other. I'm not saying it would be impossible, I'm just saying that I feel like it would be incredibly difficult. 🥴

Their type of love seems like it's the type that only comes about once in a lifetime tbh lol. 😅 They seem more connected and deeply friends with each other more than some MARRIED couples out here lol. 😅

Re: Austin/Olivia.... Auslivia?

I know some fans were really shipping them hard during the Elvis era when the film first came out and they were doing press with one another. But to me they have always just seemed more like friends? 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'll be honest, I never got any deep, strong chemistry btwn them. I didn't even really sense THAT much chemistry btwn them in the "Elvis" movie tbh. 🫣

Maybe it's just me? 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm pretty sure they probably had some type of short-lived filming fling going on during "Elvis" (it WAS covid after all.... and we WERE in lock down for months going stir crazy rofl 🤣), but I never got the impression that they were anything serious or that Olivia was anything more than a rebound/ fling. We never even saw them hanging out with each other outside of filming/work reasons.

BTW, Austin's face turns beet red anytime anyone compliments him rofl 🤣 (he's more of a "Shy Guy"), so I'm not sure that's just due to Olivia lol. 😅

But it's not surprising if fans (like yourself) still ship them.... I think that's just par for the course when it comes to costars who play love interests sometimes. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I personally don't ship actors together if they're in serious rlshps with other ppl. I may say that two actors look "cute" together, or think that two actors have awesome "chemistry" with each other, but I'm not claiming that two actors are cheating on their SOs with each other, or getting busy combing the internet looking for "signs" ("Omg did you see the way they looked at each other for 2.5 seconds?!!?!??") that two costars are secretly madly in love with each other and their significant others are none the wiser lol. That's just weird to me. 🥴

I'm not much of a big "shipper" of relationships just in general though. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Tomdaya is a huge exception lol. 😅

[msfbgraves]

((and Terry doesn't even know he's gambling with his heart.)) And he lost big time and soon enough lmao. Tsk tsk, oh Terry. Once he had Daniel, there was no way he could ever let him go. Not that Daniel minded, luckily enough…;3 These two fools, I swear! ♥️

Today isn't about him, grazie a Dio, and yet he feels he's been catapulted back in time. There's not even a pup to anchor him to his life, he feels like he's not in it – as if, by some divine grace, he's been given a do-over.

And yet there's still Terry.

He feels exactly the same about him: torn between desire and fear, sadness and hope. Did he know, then, who he was being given to? Has he always known?

He tries, he tries so hard, as always, for everyone's sake, but he can't forget the cold, dead look in his mate's eyes when he took him.

It's a look he's known longer than Terry – he has seen it in his father, his sister, his uncles, his brother, and he's believed them when they said: “That's not for you.” Never for you.

Until it is.

And yet.

Look at his brother, look how he holds his bride. So serious, so determined to show her that he's worthy. Trying to make himself tall in the procession. It's not much, what the Vitellis have, and yet it's everything for Mike, Daniel can see that. He's proud of Mikey, and his wife, too, Apollonia – she's serious on her first day as a woman, for that is how she'll see it.

Does she know what they are? Does she care?

He's with the other omegas first, of course, and with Nessa to welcome Apollonia into their circle, for he'll have a new sister from today. But then, his place is with Terry, inescapable as gravity.

He loves him. He knows it. He tries –

But at the touch of his hand, his smell, everything inside him freezes up. He tries not to let it. He tries –

For a man with no forgiveness in heart, living even worse punishment than death.

Kumiko. And that line is not even hers, he knows it; she told him it's by her uncle, Miya – something, and he vaguely remembers wanting to meet him one day. Another pipe dream. Still, he can hear her if she's sitting next to him.

Help me, he prays then. God, help me.

Suddenly his mate stirs. “Wait here,” he says, softly, then goes over to say something to Nessa. She looks confused, but walks to the musicians, who disappear into Vitelli's café, and, after a lot of noise, emerge carrying a slightly battered piano. They place it, as instructed, apparently, right in the middle of the circle of chairs, about a foot from where the couple are sitting.

Terry grins, then walks to Michael. “Miguele. Traduci per me.”

That's more Italian that he's ever uttered, and now Daniel walks to the front. “Terry, I can -”

“Sh.” It's not unkind. “Make yourself comfortable, sweetheart.”

Terry knows Michael's Italian isn't flawless. Nessa, now, she's fluent in six dialects, something which she's quite obviously trying to communicate.

Daniel shakes his head, laughing in spite of himself. These two! Mercifully perhaps, Terry keeps it brief.

“Dear brother,” he says, with a mocking bow to Michael, “sweet sister,” that's Apollonia, already offended on Michael's behalf. “I have a wish for you. May you ever feel like this.” He swallows, sits down at the piano and now looks straight at him.

“So in love.”

It's different on a grand piano, but Daniel recognises the melody in an instant.

New, to him, are the words.

Strange dear

But true, dear

When I'm close to you, dear

The stars fill the sky

So in love with you am I

Even without you

My arms fold about you

You know, darling, why

So in love with you, am I

He tries to look at him, but Terry seems gone into a universe all his own.

In love with the night mysterious

The night when you first were there

In love with my joy, delirious

when I knew that you could care

Now their gazes do meet. And Daniel's back, on his wedding night, close to his mate of a few hours, with all those feelings that then they didn't speak. The passion in Terry's voice, it makes him fear, for the very first time:

Did they miss their chance?

Can they go back?

...What if they can't?

A chord fades, then, and Terry closes his eyes, his face a rictus of pain:

So taunt me

And hurt me

Deceive me, desert me

I am yours till I die!

So in love

So in love

So in love, with you, my love

He stops, and neither of them breathe.

Then Terry looks down.

Am I

He didn't think he had any tears left in him. But never were they tears of fear or regret, not for their love, and when his mate embraces him, he feels gratitude, and darkness, too, but now, at least, it comes with words:

“You're a bastard.”

"I know." A kiss. "I know.”

“You don't deserve me.”

“I know – ”

His voice breaks. “You've really hurt me!”

“I know, I'm sorry, love, I'm so sorry...” His mate holds him through sobs so strong he's nearly puking with tears. “Daniel, I'm so sorry,” he hears again, “for everything I've done. All of it, Daniel, I'm so sorry -”

He kisses him then, and it must be disgusting but it serves him right, and when someone is calling “Viva gli sposi” it feels like it's at least partly for them this time.

“I love you,” he whispers, completely exhausted, and in response, his mate tenderly grazes his bitemark with his lips. Daniel feels warmth, a gush of blood, a small cramp – Terry's whole body stiffens –

“Oh...”

He doesn't think anybody has ever held him this tightly. “Get. A. Car!” Terry calls, but there's a gleeful uproar; as one, the guests are herding them towards the nearest house, which, to Daniel's horror, seems to be the Vitelli café. He tries to protest, but Vitelli seems to be shaking his head, a blessing on the wedding, and indeed there are a couple of guest rooms upstairs. At the very least, they're herded to the one furthest from the square.

“Oh, God, they'll hear,” Daniel says as his mate is stripping away his suit under loud whistling outside.

“Oh, yeah,” Terry grins. “Let's show them how it's done.”

“Bastard,” Daniel says, again. “I'll never live this down.”

“Hmm,” Terry says. “Better make it count then, huh?”

[minnieminss]

JEWELS WITHIN; a wolf story pt.2

Kwon soonyoung (hoshi) x fem!reader

Part 1

Word count: ?

Summary: after being rejected by his mother at birth and parents murdered by hunters, soonyoung is faced with the responsibility of raising his little sister alone… until he finds you.

Warnings: werewolf au, cursing, cold!soonyoung. mean!joshua (but turns soft later), use of the name baby to hana from hoshi, kinda rushed chapters? cliff hanger(?), lots of crying from hana, yelling from josh and a grumpy old man, i think this is it? Please let me know if there’s something i missed!

Notes: italics are for soonyoungs thoughts, bold is for time skips, bold italics is when they’re talking in wolf form, moreso lots of different fonts are used for other reasons but just heads up there’s a flashback, also i used a song from trolls because it always made me so happy when i felt sad! :)

The four wolves had been walking through the woods for around 30 minutes before a large house came into view, everyone was silent, the only noise that was heard was Hana’s soft snoring who had fell asleep after crying - in which soonyoung apologized for because truly, he didn’t want to startle her.-

“This is our home, may you be reminded that you’re only staying for a night. Keep the kid with you at all times and don’t let me see you the rest of the night.” Joshua states rudely. Looking at soonyoung who has a frown on his face. “Noted.” Soonyoung says quickly, trailing slowly behind the female wolf aria.

I can’t believe I’m doing this, I could be putting us in an ugly situation yet… I don’t.. sense harm? The other wolves seem really nice but I shouldn’t let my guard down so easily, I’m only doing this for Hana to have an actual roof over her head, she deserves it even if it’s for a night.

Besides, she’s never even been inside a house nor laid in a damn bed, so this will be one hell of an experience for her when she wakes up.

After the two went inside the house Joshua and the other wolf -nala- stayed out and and began to have a discussion about the very unexpected guests. “Your sister drives me crazy sometimes” Joshua says with a groan. “Yet at the end of the day she’s your mate” nala says with a grin. “I just don’t understand why she had to invite him.” “I mean he’s has a fucking child for fucks sake” Joshua says angrily.

“I think aria was just listening to her heart, josh.” “You know how giving my sister can be-“ “yeah well I’d appreciate it if she wouldn’t be so giving to a dirty rogue and his daughter.” Joshua barked out cutting her off. “listen, don’t act like you’re so much better than them when you were in the same spot as them at one point in your life, remember your place Joshua, you grew from nothing to being in a healthy pack with healthy wolves. Nobody helped you other than aria herself, so stop being an ass and just give them a chance, for aria, Please.” Nala says with a deep frown on her face.

“What if he brings trouble to the pack?! And the kid… what if this is a trap??” He says quickly. “Josh calm down” nala says laughing a bit, looking into his eyes. “He’s just like you, I’m more than certain there’s a huge story as to why they live the way that they are and I need you to trust me.”

-

“Alright this is the living room, upstairs you can take a right and a spare bedroom is there very hard not to miss, and the bathrooms are a little further down the hall on the left!” Aria says smiling at soonyoung. “Thanks but, why are you helping us… we’re strangers to you and you shouldn’t be so trust worthy with anyone like this.” Soonyoung says looking at the smaller girl with narrowed eyes.

“That is a question to be answered in the morning! Ummm?” She trails off gesturing to what his name is. “Soonyoung, this is Hana, my sister.” He says shortly. “Sister? Aw how old?” She asks in awe looking at the little girl sleeping in the arms of now human form soonyoung. “She’s six, today’s her birthday, actually.” He says thinning his lips in a straight line. “Oh! How sweet… well you two should be heading to bed, good night soonyoung!” She says looking at him with a smile before turning her heels towards the kitchen.

She didn’t even know my name yet so openly brought us into her own packs home, she’s lucky I’m not looking to cause trouble and I have a child on me. Literally.

“Okay let’s get you into bed” he says quietly, going up the stairs and taking the direction told by aria into the spare room. “Hoshiiii” Hana mumbles and soonyoung hushes her while going into the bedroom and laying her down gently. “Don’t leave meeee, please? It’s my birthday” she says as she wakes up looking at soonyoung who walks over to the other side of the bed and gets in next to her, putting her head on his chest. “I’m not going anywhere nana I promise” he says kissing the top of her head.

“I’m sorry you didn’t have a great birthday today-“ “are you kidding?! I get to sleep in a bed! And in a house! This is the best birthday ever” She says hugging soonyoung as tight as she could which makes soonyoung laugh quietly. “You’re such a good kid Hana, I don’t know how I got so lucky” he says smiling. “Because you raised me! I’m a good kid because of hoshi!!” She says with a big smile.

“I love you Hana” “I love you more soonie” “no I love you more” “NO! Me love hoshi more”

Let’s just say this went on many with I love yous until they both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

This was the best birthday Hana could have ever wished for.

Morning

Hana was woken up by many voices and her being the curious little girl she is, she subconsciously got out the bed and turned the door knob walking out towards downstairs.

“What are we going to do about those two rogues? They can’t just stay here…” a voice says. “They’ll leave soon, I don’t want them in my home any longer than they have to be” another voice says, making Hana gasp quietly at what was being said.

Sure, she was only 6 but she was very smart to understand they were no longer welcome in the big comfy home. She turned back around from the corner of the stair she was hiding on to go back into the bedroom to tell her brother they had to leave.

Unfortunately the universe wasn’t on her side at the moment as the stair case creaked and heads turned towards the sound spotting Hana looking terrified. “I-I’m sorry” she says quietly.

“What are you doing up kid? More importantly why were you listening to our conversation?” Joshua says roughly. Eyes slowly turning red. “This is adult shit you shouldn’t be down here being so nosy” He says walking over towards the child.

“I… i did not mean to sir, I-“ “then what were you doing!?.” He cut her off with a yell and that’s all it took for hana to drop on the floor and cry.

She never liked when someone yelled or shouted at her or at anyone, it makes her sad and scared, hana always wants everyone to be happy as she loves being the one to put smiles on faces, not the opposite.

-

“The last time I catch you trying to steal another one of my apples or bread pieces i won’t be letting you off the hook so easily boy” an older man said to the younger. “I’m really sorry but i need food for me and my-“ “take you and your dirt somewhere else boy! You aren’t welcomed, now leave my market!” The man yells.

Great. Now we can’t even eat. Just perfect.

The boy thinks to himself, walking away towards the back of a tent, revealing a crying hana.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong!? Did someone hurt you?!” Soonyoung says rushed looking over the little girls body for any marks or scratches. “T-the man… loud…” she whimpers out. “Scary…” she says crying harder. “Nana! It’s okay… it’s alright h-he’s gone now okay?” The boy says cradling the girl rocking back and forth singing a song.

Hey, I'm not giving up today

There's nothing getting in my way

And if you knock knock me over

I will get back up again, oh

If something goes a little wrong

Well you can go ahead and bring it on

Cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again

Whoa oh oh oh oh, get back up again.

He finishes, looking down to see her asleep, he then wipes her now dry tears. Kissing the crown of her head and picking her up back to somewhere safe. Their safe.

-

Soonyoung wakes up stretching and turning beside him to an empty spot on the bed. “Where is that kid…” he wonders, looking around the room to see the door slightly opened and suddenly hearing loud yelling followed by a cry.

Hana.

The boy dashes out the door to see the commotion, eyes darting down to the stair cases where his little girl, his best friend, his sister, the only other sunshine than the sun it’s self sits there, sobbing and shaking.

“Hey what’s going on??” Soonyoung says picking up hana who cries louder holding onto her brother like he’s going to disappear. “Your child was being nosy on our conversation, looks like you’ve taught her no manners.” Joshua says eyes still as red as a ruby. “She’s just a kid man! Six! Shes still learning. No need to flare your eyes like that-“ “don’t forget whose house you are in, you have no right telling me what i can or cannot do in my household.” The older says. “You’re right, but when it comes to my sister, i do have a right to say something. Especially when she’s not hurting anyone by purpose.”

“He’s right josh, you shouldn’t flare your eyes at a child”

Maybe he was in the wrong…

“Listen, i’m sorry about my sister, we’ll leave immediately.” Soonyoung says coldly, leading himself back into their temporary room sitting hana down on the bed taking a seat next to her. “Hana… what-“ “i’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make anybody mad! I-it was a bad thing, i just wanted to see more people…” she says almost in one breath, crying even harder. “Hey, stop no more crying i don’t like seeing you cry, i know you’re still younger but baby i can’t always cover for you, one day i won’t be with you to protect you from people who accuse you of such, as much as i wish i could.” He says wiping her tears.

“You’re a very good kid, but please wake me up before you decide to leave my side, yes?” “Yes!! I promise!” She says hugging him. “Great, now let’s get moving.” He says grabbing her hand and walking down the stairs meeting once again a - shockingly not angry- josh.

“Please stay.”

[totallytatum]

“I want you forever, I want this. “ 

⎯summary ; you and neteyam are bonded for life.

⎯pairing ; neteyam x fem na’vi reader

⎯ warning ; smut, smut, neteyam and reader are aged up

⎯ word count ; 1.7k

 It was your own personal euphoria. 

The electricity you felt when neteyam’s hand made the smallest contact, as if your world was about to clash with his. As if ewya herself was telling you there was a possibility of you and him. As if ewya heard your prayers you spoke, “ is it possible we could ever be together in this lifetime oh great mother? “ You prayed every night, begging to the great mother to give you a sign that he returned the feelings you so deeply had for him. Time has become so delicate as it’s almost time for neteyam to find his life long partner, the future tsahik. And if nothing came out of this, out of you and neteyam, you would still cherish the moments you had, the feeling that came from being around him, the feeling of love. Despite what may happen when he finds his mate, you will always be happy to know there’s someone like neteyam. 

When your hand brushed against his for the hundredth time, you still couldn’t get the courage to grab it. Bumping slightly into him, neteyam grabbed your hand, interlocking your fingers. Holding hands was not uncommon between you two as you’ve done it for years. But today with the silence it felt different. The sense of love radiated between you two, the feeling that you wish would last forever. 

“ I love you, you know that right? “ neteyam asked, finally breaking the silence. He could see the glimpse of your cheeks turning a different hue, this happened often when he told you he loved you. But you weren’t sure if it was the way you felt love for him. You took a breath in, “ I know, and I love you times infinity more. “ It was true, no amount of love he said he had for you even came close to what you felt for him. 

“ That’s impossible, “ he scoffed. 

He looked slightly annoyed, annoyed with you always declaring you love him more. Truth be told neteyam could never love anyone like he loves you. You are strong, breathtakingly beautiful, and you have the purest heart he’d ever met. You will one day make a great tsahik - the perfect one for him. 

You two pushed past the brush in front of you, making it to your spot. Taking a spot of the soft moss, you stared at yourself in the small pond of water. Your reflection looking back at you, you studied your face, looking at what you wish you could change. Neteyam took a seat next to you, staring into the water as well. His golden eyes were not focused on his own reflection though but yours. You seemed to be in daze, slightly frowning. He wondered what you could be thinking because to him he just couldn’t fathom how you were so heavenly. 

You became lost in thought, being broken from your trance you heard neteyam’s voice, “ y/n “ You turned your head slightly, “ yes neteyam? “ You spoke softly, staring into his eyes, studying his face. Why did you have to look at him like that he thought. It didn’t make this moment easier for him to confess his feelings for you, to truly confess and hope you will accept to be with him, forever- to be one soul together. “ You know I love you so much, you truly have no idea how much y/n...” Your face was soft but your heart was pounding, possibly so hard you thought he could hear it. This is exactly what you wanted to hear but you don’t know if you believe him. Neteyam has told you over a dozen times he loves you but the delicate look on his face proves this time was different. “ I know.. “ you whispered, barely being heard. He cups your chin with his hand, causing your face to have no option but to look at him. His eyes dart from your eyes to your lips and back, yours doing the same. His thumb sweeps over your bottom lip, slightly tugging it downward. You let out a shuddered breath as he leans in closer, his head slightly tilted as if he was going to kiss you. He pauses instead, his lips linger just above yours. You close your eyes, waiting for the placement of him on you when you feel nothing but his breath against your face you open your eyes. His gaze was burning into you as your eyes met his. 

“ oel ngati kameie.. “ he whispers, your breath is frozen, hitched somewhere in your throat. He kisses you then, and you can’t focus on anything but his soft lips on yours. His lips are a contrast against his rough fingers as they feel like velvet against yours. You inhale taking him, the kiss was gentle but you could tell you were both holding back. You are eager to get more of him, moaning slightly while leaning into him more. A hint of a smile breaks on his face as he pulls away. You shiver once more while the hue reaches your cheeks again. His eyes sweep over your body, the smile growing wider. “ I want no one other you y/n, only you, this lifetime, forever. “ You couldn’t stop the smile that grew on your face, you were eager to close the space between you again. His hands were on you, exploring your body like a new found toy. He couldn’t get enough.His kisses become harder, filled with eagerness as he seizes this moment.  

His hand reaches for your outer thigh, pulling it up to his hip and laying you back onto the soft grass below you. Neteyam is on top of you, bearing his weight slightly against your chest. Your stomach is filled with butterflies, you still can’t believe this is happen and it feels more like a fever dream. Another moan escapes your lips as he moves his lips down your jaw, trailing them down your neck. His kisses your neck, grazing his teeth ever so often. His hands continue to explore your body, his left hand stopping at your breast before taking your nipple between his fingers. This new found pleasure causes you to moan loudly and jerk your hips up slightly. Neteyam smiles against your neck, rubbing and twisting your nipple between his fingers. His lips move from the hungry kisses on your next to the previous nub he just had between his fingers.

Your heart is racing faster than before, “ teyam...” you force out between the pleasure that’s erupting inside you. He hums before looking up at you, not stopping his current action. “ oel ngati kameie neteyam.. “ Neteyam stops his actions, you don’t think he could have a bigger grin plastered on his face. “ I want you forever, I want this. “ That’s all it takes for neteyam to remove both of your clothing items. You sucked in a breath, preparing yourself for what was about to come, you will be bonded for life and there’s no one better than him. 

Neteyam pries your legs open, spacing himself in between them. Your eyes trail down his chest, being drawn down straight to his cock. Your eyes widen at the sight of it. He expected that to fit inside you? Neteyam looks down at you, grabbing his braid, exposing the queue to bond you together. You grab yours from behind you, connecting it to his. The tiny joints of electricity go through you, pupils dilating. The breathing between you two is heavy and he grabs his member, stroking it a few times before rubbing it against your folds. Your eyes drift closed as you push out some kind of sound as he rubs the head of it against your clit. 

“ Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle, “ he says and he pushes inside of you for the first time, moving slowly. The pain was unbearable while you try to adjust to the new feeling. A part of you wants to scream and cry, a part of you to act like a wild animal. He pulls out and pushes back in, moving agonizingly slow. You let out a moan, out of discomfort or pleasure, he couldn’t tell. His pauses mid thrust, “ are you okay? “ You run your hand down his chest and up under his arm to his back, grabbing his shoulder from behind, “ mhmm.. “ 

“ Just relax y/n.. “ 

Neteyam begins moving against, finding his rhythm, hiking your leg on top of his hip so he can go deeper. You gasp as his lips find your neck again. As his lips are placing hungry kisses on your neck he thrusts hard, almost knocking the air out of your lungs. Noises you didn’t know existed erupts from your mouth sending neteyam to increase his pace. He fucks you like he means it, like he needs it, like being inside you is more important than anything in all of pandora. His hand moves down to your clit and he begins to work magic. His strokes are sending more tiny jolts through your body as he rubs circles against your clit. You can feel it, the bubble building in your lower abdomen. The pressure causing you to feel like you’re about to burst, “ t-teyam..” 

“ Yes baby? “ he says not slowing down his pace or the actions of his fingers. “ I-I’m going to c-cum, “ you managed to whine out, trying to hold the pressure in. Neteyam brings his lips down, lingering over yours, “ then cum for me, show me who you belong too. “ His voice was a dangerous whisper but it was enough to send the pleasure exploding inside of you. Your vision is frenzied as you are convulsing on his dick. You shriek as you arch your back, pulling him closer to you. You needed this, you needed him and now you need him closer. His hips slam into yours as you try to grip onto him harder. He knows he’s not going to last long, not with you whining below him and you tightening around his dick. Neteyam’s breaths are heavy pants and he move his hips desperately, coming close. He lets out a godly noise as his body tenses up, he throws his head back, and closes his eyes, painting your inside walls. 

You stare at him in the moonlight as he falls beside you. His chest rising and falling he breathes heavily. Neteyam is a work of art. He’s beautiful. Nothing else was said as he moves to his ride, laying his head on your chest, “ I wanna stay like this with you forever.. “ 

Okay, so first time righting smut, like it? don’t like it? I hope you all enjoy. I am beginning to have a soft spot for neteyam. - Mooky

[pastawithgarlicbread]

Namjoon -soulmate au

Okay guys. This is my first ever fic and it is cringy af! so...

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

but let me know how it was

fluff, angst (i guess)

Winter was finally here- the white flakes of snow falling slowly on the ground- announcing its arrival. Despite the cold weather, you felt quite warm inside. It was your first day at work today. You always dreamt of working at the entertainment company. Weird, right? But somehow it was your dream.

The hot water of the shower that hit your body did nothing to calm your jitters. You drape your towel around your body and make your way toward your bedroom. You quickly put on some clothes, when your gaze falls on the small but long mirror in your bedroom. (‘coz every girl needs one 😉) You gently trace your fingers over the tattoo that covered your left collarbone.

A tattoo that decides your fate, your soulmate. The black tattoo that turns purple on meeting your fated one. You’re still waiting for that day to come.

Your tattoo was a very simple one, a small musical note which ends in a lifeline (something like this). 

You wonder who your soulmate is. Does he love music? Is he a doctor? Or does it mean something else? You’ve always dreamt of how your life with your soulmate would be. Imagined of going out on romantic dates with him…. Cuddling with him on friday nights with pizza and a movie… kissing him… hugging him tightly on your good and bad days. You’ve never dated before, you don’t really understand the concept of dating other people when you already are fated to your mate. You wonder if he thinks the same.

You snap out of your daze and quickly put on your shirt and makeup, getting ready for work. As soon as you’re done eating your breakfast, you exit your small apartment and walk yourself to the bus stop. In about 20 minutes, you stand in front of the magnificent building that was your dream. Hybe. Although you were just an intern, you had a chance of landing a permanent job here. And you hold on to that. You enter the building and approach the receptionist.

“How may I help you?”, she asks with a smile.

“Umm I’m actually an intern and it’s my first day at this job… could you guide me to where I’m supposed to be please?” you kindly return the smile.

“May I have your name?”

“Ms. Y/N”.

She types something in her computer and turns back to you with the smile still plastered on her face.

“Oh! Welcome at hybe Ms. Y/N. You will require to go to the 2nd floor in the conference room. You will be briefed about your work expectations, and then you will be getting your employee Id’s”

Thanking her, you make your way upto the 2nd floor in awe. Although you’ve been here before for your interview, you feel it’s like the first time. You reach the door of the conference hall and take a deep breath. This is it. You knock twice and open the door. Inside you see a man approximately in his 30s sitting on his chair. You immediately recognize him. He sits up and sweetly smiles at you.

“Welcome ms Y/N. Please have a seat” he says gesturing to a seat next to him.

“Thank you sejin pd-nim” you say smiling. He was the one who interviewed you.

“Anneonghaseyo Ms Y/N. I would like to brief you about whatyour work here as an intern is. You will be assisting me and the other staff members of bangtan boys.” You gasp. “I know you are a fan of theirs but you seemed mature and professional enough at the interview so I decided to choose you. You seem to be passionate about this work and that’s what I admire about you. So here is your employee card. Welcome to the hybe family.” You took the card from his hands and looked at it. You almost couldn’t believe it.

“Thank you pd-nim. I won’t disappoint you. I’ll keep doing hard work,” you say as you return his smile.

“Very well. Follow me, I’ll introduce you to the rest of the staff and the members.”

You wear your id card in your neck and silently follow him. But inside, you were dancing at every song  you could possibly remember. He takes you to the 7th floor, where you could see all the dance practice rooms were located. He was explaining to you the locations of various things. You could grasp a few like studios on 9th & 10th floor, dance practice rooms on the 7th and some shooting rooms on the 6th floor. He suddenly opens a door to his left and lets himself in. You follow him only to enter the famous practice room which you saw only in their videos and vlives. You see that bts members are practicing on the song fake love, for a performance probably. Sejin pd-nim calls you by your name and you move towards him quickly. He is standing next to two petite women who looked pleased at your entrance

“Y/N -ssi , this is Mrs Hwang, our makeup team head and this is Mrs. Shin, our production team head.”

You bow your head to greet both of them. “Y/N-ah, welcome to hybe. I hope you don’t mind us calling you that.” Mrs Hwang said, grinning.

“Oh no no. Mrs Hwang. It would be my honour,” you quickly denied.

“Aigoo such a sweet girl. I hope we get along well. If you have any problems, do not hesitate to contact us, okay sweetheart?” said Mrs Shin.

“Thank you so much for your warm welcome Mrs. Hwang & Mrs Shin. I will try and work up to your expectations.” You bow again, smiling this time. All your nervousness thrown out of the window now because of these sweet ladies.

“Ah! Practice is finally over. Sejin Hyung, what are you doing here?” a voice asked. You looked over your shoulder to see that the boys had finished their practice and were making their way towards you. Okay, not you… pd-nim.

“Yes, I was here to introduce the staff to our new addition- meet Ms Y/N, new intern here. She will be assisting me here onwards.”

In an instant, the focus was on you. Your nervousness came back with full force and you couldn’t help but feel shy. You bow down politely and introduce yourself again, finally meeting all of their eyes. You couldn’t believe your eyes. They were so handsome! The photoshoots don’t do any justice to them, you suddenly feel.

Then, they start introducing themselves one by one. You shyly smile at them while they do so. They are just how they show themselves on camera, you think. Jungkook, being the introvert, gave you a small smile- Jimin, with his cute eye smile- Taehyung with his boxy smile- jhope with the brightest smile I had ever seen- yoongi with the tired tight lipped smile (omo breadcheeks) - and jin who looked the most mature of them all.

Suddenly, you became aware of a stare and you looked up, meeting a beautiful pair of dragon eyes. He stood there, as if in a trance. Jin nudged him with his shoulder, telling him to introduce himself. He stepped forward and put out his hand for me to shake.

“Hi. I’m Namjoon, the leader of bts.” He said.

I courageously moved my hand forward to shake his. As soon as our hands met, I felt a piercing pain in my left shoulder and chest. Both of us recoiled as if we were burnt by each other’s touch. He was looking at me with wide eyes, his hand clutching his left shoulder. I’m sure my expression mirrored his.

There was pin drop silence in the room, all people too stunned to talk.

Pd-nim was the first one to speak. He cleared his throat before saying, “Okay, this was unexpected. I would like Y/N and Namjoon to follow me please. Other members will go ahead with their practice as scheduled.”

Dumbfounded, both of us followed pd-nim to another room- an awkward distance between us. He asked us to stay put till he comes back. Sitting down on a chair silently, I went over what had just happened a few minutes back. I could not believe it! THE KIM NAMJOON, LEADER OF BTS was my soulmate! I was so busy in my thoughts that I almost missed HIM call out my name. ALMOST.

“Y/N?”, his deep but sweet voice caused me look up. He looked calm now, and had a small smile playing on his lips.

“yes?” I replied, still nervous. He could tell that by the way my fingers were fidgeting.

“Are you okay?”

“I guess. Just a little shocked.”

He chuckled. ‘OMG! He’s so cute! And those dimples! I’m not dreaming right? Wait, let me pinch myself,’ I thought to myself. As if he was reading my thoughts, he said “It’s not a dream don’t worry. I am your soulmate and you are mine.”

Suddenly shy, he looked down at his hands, “You know, I always dreamt of how my soulmate would be. How beautiful she must be, how her smile will be…and now that I have seen you,”  he takes a breath “you are more beautiful and gorgeous than I ever imagined.” He moved towards me and takes a seat on the chair beside mine. He took my hands in his and looked into my eyes. “Y/N, I know our fates are intertwined and all that, but will you give me the honour of letting me into your life? I want to know you, understand you, and experience the real you. If you let me.”

I gushed. I shyly smiled at him, “It would be my honour Namjoon-ssi.”

Suddenly the door flew open, and bang pd-nim entered. I immediately stood up and bowed to him. He studied me and Namjoon carefully first and then- “I cannot permit this relationship.” He stated.

Confused, Namjoon asked, “Why? We are soulmates. You cannot just deny our relationship. We are linked forever by this bond!”, pointing towards his tattoo.

“I know how soulmates work Namjoon. However, we must also keep in mind that you are an idol. You are a celebrity, an international one at that. You are at the peak of your career right now. I cannot risk anything-neither your career nor your life. This will change everything Namjoon. I’m sorry, but you will have to understand. It isn’t fair to the other members as well. Miss Y/N will be removed from her job here. Though you don’t have to worry, I have already spoken to jyp entertainment, they are happy to give you a similar job there. That way, both of you will stay away from each other.”

I could feel my ears tearing up. The soulmate- for whom I was waiting my whole life- was in front of me right now, but I was already being pulled away from him. Though, somewhere my mind knew that what band pd-nim was saying was right. Namjoon was the leader of bts. He influenced and saved lives of so many people through his music and speeches. And I was one of them. I stood nowhere against the unlimited love he received from army. He will choose bts. No. He should choose bts.

I was about to agree with pd-nim when Namjoon suddenly banged his palms against the table. He looked angry. “You are indirectly making me choose, aren’t you?” he looked straight into pd-nim’s eyes. “I have given almost 8 years of my life to bighit and bts. I have always prioritized bts. They’re my family. So I know they will support me. And they will be happy for me. But I need your support too. I can do both pd-nim, believe me. I will work just as hard. But I can’t leave my soulmate, not when she’s already here” he said, pleadingly- his hand still holding mine.

A tear dropped on my cheek and I hastily wiped it away. I squeezed Namjoon’s hand, making him look at me. I melted by the look on his face- so caring and professional at the same time. Both of us stood hand in hand in front of band pd-nim. All of a sudden, pd-nim smiled at us. “Good. That is what I wanted to hear. I’m sorry Y/N-ssi and Namjoon-ah. Although I know you, many people change drastically after meeting their soulmates so I had to check if your priorities have changed here.” he sighed, “I have no opposition to your soulmate bond. You can keep your relationship secret and announce to the public later, or you can announce it now. Your decision, just inform me beforehand so I can make proper arrangements.”

He looked at me and said, smiling, “Welcome to our family, Y/N-ssi. Congratulations on the bond. You’ve got a wonderful soulmate. I wish you both well.” With this, he turned round and left the room.

As soon as he left, the other 6 bts members came tumbling inside, with huge smiles on their faces. They congratulated Namjoon and me for our bond.

“Ah Y/N-ssi. Please take care of our Namjoon hyung. You know how clumsy he is… wait, are you an army?” asked jimin.

Shyly, you nodded. A series of oo’s and ah’s followed.

“Who is your bias then? Surely it must be joon-ah” hoseok winked at me.

“Umm no, actually.” I said, bashfully. “my bias is Seokjin-ssi.” Blood rushed to my ears as they starting teasing Namjoon over it. I looked up to see Namjoon looking at me with a quirked eyebrow, slightly unhappy. “Does it matter really? I am her soulmate and she is mine. Isn’t that enough?” he huffed, pulling me towards him in the process. I bump into his chest by the action. It causes the others to tease the both of us more. Namjoon was quick to silence them and make them move them out of the room. When we were finally left alone, he walked towards me with an irritated expression. “Sorry about them, you know how they are, considering you are army” he paused, “why is jin hyung your bias?” he asked.

Shrugging, I said “He is handsome. Plus his voice- his voice is so angelic. Why? Are you jealous?” I joked.

“Yes. I am jealous.” He said. He pulled me closer by my waist and looked straight into my eyes. My breath hitched. “I am your soulmate, your boyfriend. But he is your bias, of course I am jealous. How dare you call some other man handsome in front of me, huh?”

With newfound confidence, I draped my arms around his neck, “That was before, Namjoon-ah. Now, you are the only man in my eyes and in my heart. This,” I pointed towards my tattoo which was peeking through my shirt, “is the symbol that I belong to you forever. That we will remain forever.” He smiled.

“Okay then, my forever, would you care to have a cup of coffee with me? I believe we have a lot to discuss.” He asked.

Giggling, I separated myself from him and held his hand in mine. “Lead the way Namjoon-ssi.”

[cassurrjoybell-30]

Howling Love - Chapter 31

*Warning Adult Content*

Amille Laurent.

'I hear I created some sort of blood thirsty tyrant in my absence,' I mentioned as I got off Rha-Es and Camryn's back, the wolf part of my mate was more in control as I looked him in the eye and I could slightly see a wolfish grin.

"He made the right call and many in this pack if not all agree, his father had focused too much on building the pack, livelihoods and business to sustain the pack but had forgotten that outside this territory, rogues were growing in number and festering, waiting for the day, much like this one to strike, he had always tried to be a peacemaker but there is no peace to be garnered when the other party won't accept peace," Rha-Es explained and he couldn't have said anything more to explain their decision today.

'Can you live with the consequences of your decisions, you forcibly took the mantle of Alpha from your father. I felt a shift before the massacre of bodies, I also feel different,' I stated and Rha-Es seemed to be in thought looking out toward the moon.

"The Moon Goddess is no fool to give me a mate so wise and beautiful and she is no fool in getting us toward this path with a troublesome mate. I would, I believe my other half as well would do this all over again just to make sure you were happy, safe and well taken care of," he asserted without question and I did not ask further.

I knew my mate was intent on his words, his new status as Alpha wasn't a surprise to many but how he became alpha could be questionable.

However I believed in his strength and his will.

A new day was coming for the Sunspear Pack of Bridgeton, one that would echo with all the other packs that a tyrant had taken the mantle of Alpha.

He did not just accept anyone into his pack, if he felt so, he'd kill them on sight.

I hoped many rogues would flee, it was better that way than coming to create a blood bath here.

'Grant me one favour Rha-Es,' I asserted and the wolf slowly nodded.

'The pack maybe strong but to withstand whatever else may come it needs to be stronger, may I call my friends, Carter, his husband and Alpha Lincoln of the Ascender Pack, they will teach the pack how to heal and defend, fight not just for our warriors but all of this pack, so that they know how to defend themselves or kill if need be,' I asked and I knew he was debating it with Camryn.

"You are the Luna and my mate first, if you believe it is needed for our home, call them as soon as you can," he replied and a smile broke out on my lips.

'Thank you so much mate,' I whispered still struggling to hug him in his wolf form, an idea for a perfect portrait coming into my mind, I'd start on it soon.

"Anything for the love of all my lives to come and this one," he replied as fur receded into skin, bones crunching and putting themselves back into a different form.

I was no longer hugging my wolf mate, Camryn had engulfed me with his now even larger body, it felt right leaning on him, felt blissful and content.

"My love," he whispered as I nodded, the high of everything finally wearing off and I cried.

I cried because if not for what had happened, the change in me, Vincent would've killed me, hurt Maxine and I couldn't have been able to have a future with Camryn that I wanted.

With our football team of kids who would all grow up to be strong like their pops, crying was a release I welcomed and I felt peaceful afterwards, I felt lighter.

"He's waiting inside, he wanted to give Rha-Es and then me and you some time," Camryn explained and I knew he meant my father, dad was never a wolf to be found on a battlefield if he could help it.

His wolf tended to go on a blood frenzy he had a hard time controlling so he mostly sat them out.

So I nodded wiping away my tears and helped my mate wear a pair of shorts that were scantily tied to his leg, tied them around his waist and he scoffed.

"Is this about to become a thing, I wouldn't mind getting naked just to have you, then have you dress me too," he exclaimed and I smacked his overly bloated bicep.

'Naughty tyrant, how did you even get there after all this,' I mentioned as he laughed and I joined him.

"What can I say, you bring out the beast in me," he playfully growled grabbing me and then threw me over his shoulder.

'Neanderthal put me down,' I screamed in our heads and he just chuckled then spanked me.

"No, mine," he growled lightly causing goosebumps to form on my skin as we made it to the door laughing.

In all this while I hadn't uttered a single word, I had been using the mind link, I wanted a special moment to reveal this new gift to him and my family, so for now I would resign myself to not speaking and besides.

I wasn't in a hurry to be anywhere, I had all the time in the world, so I would create those special moments for now.

I allowed Camryn to open the door to my house, he set me down and before I could even take a step forward I was wrapped in the arms of a crying large mass of man.

"Oh my baby boy, my sweet child... my lovely baby boy," he cried harder crushing me in his embrace but I didn't mind.

I wanted the bone crushing hug as much. I

had missed him so much in the short space of time that we had been apart, it hurt not having my dad close, not able to run to him, afraid of what would happen but not anymore, so I cried again, clutching onto him like my life depended on it because in a way it did.

He had raised me, he knew best, despite the bits of secrets of my birth and where I truly came from, the origin of my blood, I didn't care, he was home and even though we didn't share blood, we shared something deeper, love, he was my dad and that was never going to change.

'I'm home dad,' I muttered in his mind.

"Oh my baby, yes you are, yes you are sweetheart," he whispered as we both stopped the crying fit when Camryn enveloped both of us in his arms.

"Hey, I'm home too you know," he grumbled making both dad and I chuckle.

"Yes Camryn, welcome home, you're my baby too," dad replied as he pressed kisses onto both Camryn and my face,

It felt good being doted over by him, I was looking forward to it.

"Come on, let's get you both cleaned up and fed. I already made dinner so get up to your room and clean up okay. I need to talk to your uncle and your dad Camryn," he explained as I nodded and pulled my mate away to my well our room since dad allowed him in there now.

"Oh my love," Camryn whispered as I helped him clean up.

We were both under the shower, naked but there was no arousal, it seemed in that moment, we were just content to be in each other's arm.

"I like your hair longer, it really makes those eyes of yours pop. Do you have contact lenses in?" he asked and I shook my head in refusal, he simply smiled and came closer.

"I think they're beautiful," he whispered as he shifted the mirror so I could see.

They were no longer dark obsidian but rather a blue that was extremely usual so blue it looked like polished glass with a canary ring around them, I liked them too.

'I want to...' I couldn't finish that statement as I felt Camryn's member harden behind me.

"What do you say, a quick one before dinner then we continue later." he suggested but I was already out of words just nodding as lips and tongue touched my skin.

'Alpha Tyrant,' I whispered to him with my mind.

A moan escaping my lips and that's all he needed to know to devour me whole and rock my mind with unbelievable pleasure.

The victory had been ours today.

I knew I could count on my mate to find me and save me.

I knew he would kill and even challenge his own father if need be just to make sure I was okay,and I was grateful for it but in the way he would kill for me.

I would too because I loved him and he was my all.

[ladala99]

Wolvden Democracy RNG - Updates

I made a couple of updates today. There's also some brainstorming for possible updates to the leadership voting system, and musing about the wolf who is currently dominating all three candidate categories, and may very well win by default in the current system.

November Event spoilers below, but only in "Added November Decision Points to Opinions" section.

Gender/Gender Identity Actually Does Something

It's not a huge thing, but I implemented the tiebreaker mechanic. If a wolf cannot choose between their top two (or more) candidates via substantial opinions on how the pack will be run, they will choose the wolf they identify with more as a tiebreaker. If that still results in a tie, they will vote randomly between their top favorites.

Added November Decision Points to Opinions

I added the sacrifice pups/refuse option, splitting it between the easy biome/hard biome party line where wolves that prefer easy biomes will refuse, while those that prefer hard biomes will comply. The reasoning is that easy biome wolves are more pack-centered and will protect their own while hard biome wolves are more individual-focused and are more willing to let who-knows-what happen to pups that won't amount to much in order to save a very well-loved wolf. (the middle biomes are sorted by their id)

I also added the stick together/split up option, splitting it between the north/south biome party line, where wolves that prefer to live in the north would stick together and wolves that prefer to live in the south would split up. This is more for the intentions of the action than its actual effect - north wolves are harsher in their judgments and the Herbalist seemed like she was up to something. They would stick together to ensure the task was done correctly. Southern wolves are more about individual expression, so they would allow her to do whatever she wanted to.

So, about Vivian.

Sasha has had her final litter of the generation, and none of them beat Vivian in looks or stats. Vivian is also dominating the voting-the-right-way indicator. Which I believe this will be the last generation I use that, since it strongly favors wolves who have no preferences, especially with Hunting, as that leads to them voting with the crowd more often and Hunting is the only vote that happens on a regular basis. And also it's a pain to track.

Vivian becoming leader will have me make a choice. You see, she's a trans girl wolf, meaning mechanically she's male.

I want the royal bloodline to stay being the bloodline of the leader. And given that her sexuality is lesbian, that's possible. If I can find a female lesbian pack member to be her mate, that'd be great. Unfortunately, the pack's finished with having pups this generation and there isn't a single female lesbian wolf in it. Nor another transgirl for that matter.

There are some mechanically female nonbinaries, which I haven't fully decided how to handle their sexuality (currently I have it default to the binary the RNG says they like in comparison to their mechanical sex+nonbinary), but as they are currently labeled, Vivian is not an option.

And I do not choose wolves that come into the pack's bio information. RNG decides all wolves, NBW and born.

So, my choices:

Retcon a wolf of my choice into a lesbian. I don't really want to do this, as it feels like it goes against the point of my gameplay restrictions.

Go against my current rules for bringing more wolves into the pack and roll RNG on the female waiting NBWs to see if any of them roll lesbian (1/20 chance each), and if none, go to the Enclave and roll RNG until something hits lesbian and adopt it.

Do #2 but wait until there's a legal slot open for the additional newcomer.

Accept that she may be pupless and just continue the royal line through one of the other branches (I don't really want to do this)

Make it so she only breeds for an heir. She'll breed twice max - once to have pups as soon as possible; once to have as high-stat pups as she can get. This would be with the highest-stat mechanically female wolf regardless of preferences and identity.

Plan to do #5 but hope I get lucky while playing within my normal rules.

I might just do #6. I feel like that's closest in spirit to the challenge. Maybe I'll pre-RNG Enclave pups the next time the snake asks me to adopt one until I find a lesbian.

Next Generation Decision Changes

I've decided that, at least for events, the leader should mean something. Whatever their preference is, that's what the pack will do.

This may even include the Lunar events, just with what to get next voted upon by the rest of the pack.

Not so sure about hunting preferences, though.

Next Generation Timing

I am currently scheduled to swap to Lioden at the end of January. I think I'll actually stay on Wolvden for another generation, though. I've played on Lioden end-of-January->February->March for two years in a row, and I'm not really all that interested in doing a third.

On the other hand, I actually do want to participate in the February event on Wolvden, since I haven't yet. (Maybe Vivian'll pick up one of the event wolves as a mate. Just replace a leaving wolf's personality text with text that matches canon plus what I feel fits, spam the wolf underneath with RMAs for marking variety, and plop the item on them.)

If no one sneaks into Vivian's voting-based slot and wins, that puts the next generation to lasting until mid-July assuming no breaks. Which I think is a pretty good place to head over to Lioden.

Other Possible Voting Changes

I don't think I'll do it this generation, but next I'm thinking of having each of the four parties do their own primary and have four wolves on the final ballot.

I'd just have to go through and determine which party each existing wolf is most aligned with to sort them. I think there's still some living wolves from before I made the generator favor grouping certain choices together, and even ones afterwards, if RNG said they favor the biome they were born in, I can't tell what party they really are. Plus there's some independants that would just be sorted with what they align with the closest.

The way I have voting set up is already runoff-based, so it's not like having two or more would have a spoiler affect. Since the four parties are more of the four political compass quadrants, just not based on reality. The dichotomies are easy/challenge and stat gain/item gain.

Things I want to add to my generators

Sexuality to be a little less binary. Include nonbinary wolves, make poly/pan an option, and if a binary attraction is due to ability/inability to make pups (so trans would count as mechanical gender for attraction and nonbinary would be eligible) or if it's based on gender expression (so trans would count as actual gender for attraction and nonbinary would only be eligible if specified).

Add sexuality to identity-based tiebreaker calculations.

Site-assigned Personality; also a tiebreaker I think but I'd maybe even add if they're opposites to have it create a negative bias in the tiebreaker round

Overhaul the voting system to do instant runoff in all cases without needing to manually tweak things.

[thepurplewombat]

U mentioned that jgy is one of your favorite characters of all time, can I ask about your other fav characters of all time? I'm very curious bc u seem to be a cultured individual

Oh boy you sure may! *turns into an unskippable cutscene*. Not so sure about a cultured individual but let's see what consensus is once I'm done.

Olay so I'm going to go roughly chronological here, because everyone who has ever been a blorbo to me is, on some level, still a blorbo. So they all still count!

Okay so at the top of the list is one Jean-Luc Picard (Star Trek The Next Generation) . My mom loves to tell the story of how I, at age three, decided I was going to marry Captain Picard and we would have six children. To be honest if he showed up in front of me today and asked me to run away with him on the Enterprise, I'm not sure I'd say no. He's such a wonderful character in so many ways - wise, kind, diplomatic. My first memory of watching television is the episode where he was assimilated by the Borg. The episode where Jean Grey from the X-men movies was an alien who became the perfect mate to the first person she saw when she hatched from her egg thing, and the first person she saw was Picard and so she still married the slimy guy from the enemy planet because Picard's perfect mate would never sacrifice duty on the altar of love lives rent-free in my mind decades later.

Dana Scully (X-Files). She's amazing. I love her. I love the fact that while she doesn't believe in the stuff Mulder does, she is openminded enough to acknowledge that science doesn't know everything, you know?

Neri from Ocean Girl. I watched this show when I was in primary school and I've got to tell you, Nonnie, for Literal Years all my Barbies wore wraps made out of rough hemp cloth. Her best friend was a whale named Charlie and she could swim underwater forever, she was amazing.

Xena (from Xena). Idk what to tell you, Nonnie, she was like, at least a third of my queer awakening.

Buffy (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) she tried. So hard. Like, she had a Destiny and she didn't want the destiny, but she was stuck with it and so she was going to do her damn best to live up to it. Spike, from the same show, is also on the list. He was just fun to watch, you know? (also Faith because I shipped her Buffy quite hard for a while)

Severus Snape, Harry Potter. He wasn't nice, but he was good, but tbh I adored him from the first time he appeared. Also, Hermione. Big hair and loves books? It me!

Everyone in Seaquest. Especially the captain and Lukas, who I'm pretty sure was included purely because TNG did it. But hey, I was like 15, I thought he was great.

Daniel Jackson, Stargate SG-1. He's just such a nerd? I love him tbh. I shipped him with Jack O'Neill but I appear to be alone in that (or all the archives where their fic was are dead now rip)

Teal'c, also from SG-1. It's just...how much courage does it take to turn on your literal actual god who is the source of your life? Also, the sass.

Garrus Vakarian, Mass Effect. I love him, your honor.

This one is chronologically in the wrong place since I read it when I was about 11, but Taita, from River God by Wilbur Smith. I loved that sneaky little asshole so damn much. I named my cat after him. (I was very annoyed when, years later, I read one of the sequels to River God, and on the first page Taita had a beard. Taita was a eunuch...)

Sarah Kerrigan, Starcraft. I could write a book about her. I have written a book about her. The first thing I ever wrote was a Starcraft fanfic (I had no idea fanfic even existed) about Kerrigan's clone Tedra. I'm weak for stories about evil governments, people who are treated like weapons, and assimilation narratives, so you can see why she captured my attention. (also I loved Zeratul, he was amazing)

Lestat from Interview with a Vampire. He was just cool.

There are a bunch more (I haven't even got to when I discovered danmei yet) , but unfortunately my power just went out and this post is already hella long, so take this as part 1 🤣

[relationshipsshrink]

Does Love at First Sight Make Sense?

Today’s Advice Highlights

Is there really such a thing as love at first sight?

What are the signs that it’s the “real thing”?

Can a relationship that starts with love at first sight last?

Dear Dr. Deb,

I have a silly question for someone already in their 50s: Is love at first sight real? Can people who have met for the first time simply know that they’re meant to be?

As you can guess, I’m asking because I feel like it happened to me: I locked eyes with a beautiful woman at a party and almost instantly felt that she’s my soul mate. I don’t know how else to describe it: the sudden and intense pull that feels like the truest love.

As a successful entrepreneur who has been divorced for four years and with two adult children, I feel a bit foolish asking for advice about this. But this is something I’ve never felt with anyone else before: Something in my heart felt at home. I just felt safe, loved and comfortable in her presence. Suddenly, everything in the world seemed perfect.

When she introduced herself, I felt my busy mind go blank. We talked for hours, but the whole time I was hyper-focused on how I was so attracted to her: how she looked, her mannerisms, the way she talked. I had major butterflies, and my heart was pounding like I was back in high school!

After our first date, it felt like I had known her for a long time, but still wanted to know much more. All I can do is think about her and the very real possibility of a future together. I am finding it hard to focus on anything else.

This is a new feeling for me. I didn’t feel this attraction with my ex-wife. Back then, our relationship blossomed as more of a slow-burn romance.

I believe I have found my match. If this attraction isn’t true love, I don’t know what is. Dr. Deb, as an expert in love and relationships, what’s your take on this? Is love at first sight the real deal?

Sincerely, Out of My Mind.

—————————————————————————————————

Dear Out of My Mind,

You might be surprised to know that I’m personally very familiar with love at first sight. In fact, the two most important romances in my life sparked from there and turned into long-term, committed, loving relationships.

I think what you may really be asking is whether it is inevitable that this type of fairy-tale encounter becomes a long-term relationship.

Part of the answer to that question involves the chemistry of romantic love: an MRI of the brain of people in the throes of love shows that their brains release large amounts of endorphins called oxytocin and dopamine. Oxytocin helps you trust someone new in a way you might not normally do, and dopamine, the “feel-good” endorphin, creates a euphoric feeling.

The other part of the answer is this: there’s no way to know it yet whether what you are feeling is true love. It’s all up to you. All things that are good and worthwhile take time. Love is no exception. To know for sure, you need to know much more about her. You can’t truly love someone unless you truly know them.

First impressions are important, especially for someone like you, who already knows exactly what you want. But meeting someone who creates this type of lust in you doesn’t guarantee that it will be a relationship that stands the test of time.

As uncertain as the future of love at first sight seems, there are also sensible ways to give it a good chance to flourish into something deeper. One way is to honestly and regularly reflect on how things are going so far. You might use these questions to help answer if yours is true love:

Does she challenge you to be a better person?

Can you lean on her financially and emotionally (or is she stable in both aspects)?

When you have a disagreement, do you feel that she deals with it with unflagging consideration and care for you?

Does she appreciate and respect you for who you are?

Does she keep the promises she makes?

I’m happy for you, Mr. Out of My Mind, and there’s no need to doubt your strong feelings and connection with each other. Don’t let me, let alone science, tell you otherwise.

Prince Harry said he knew Meghan Markle was The One the very first time they met. If it can happen to him, why can’t it happen to you, too?

Fondly, Dr. Deb

Do you have a burning question — Your comments in response to a column are welcome. ​I will do my best to answer as many of your questions as I can.

Click here to send your question.

[ridedatbull]

Imma infodump real quick because this has been bubbling in me and holy crap I can’t believe people care!

First off, I’m gonna preface by saying I’m just a Tauros rancher. Been one all my life, my family has been doing it in the traditional Johto fashion for… I dunno how long exactly, but a while. My only real scientific know how comes from old schooling and documentaries about fossils. Everyone had that phase right? Anyway…

So Tauros are pretty neat. Hoof to horn to tail they are the coolest. But they’re also kinda weird. They’re one of those weird mons that have a strange sexual dimorphism thing with another ‘species,’ aka Miltank. But actually they are technically the same. And yet, they are so physically different. Why?

Let’s start with their history. Bovine Pokémon were some of the first to be considered ‘domesticated,’ domesticated here meaning more willing to work with humans than most for one reason or another way back in the day. Hisui era type stuff. There are some who suggest that Tauros and Miltank looked much more alike in that time, or that they had a pre-evolution that branched depending on the sex like Ralts or Snorunt, but no proper records seem to have survived that prove either of these theories.

All we really have are old tales passed down by ranchers generation after generation. And anyone familiar with oral histories will know how messy that can get in terms of getting facts straight. My Pa and his Pa before him both told me stories of a time when Miltank looked very different, much more similar to their male counterparts in body structure and ferocity. At the same time, Tauros were also even more wild. The better to battle each other over mates and fend off the far more ferocious predators of their era. Neither Pa nor Grandpa ever actually saw these differences. Nor apparently did my great grandpa. But for a story to last even that long, surely there has to be something to it right?

As they tell it, Tauros and Miltank eventually decided that humans weren’t so bad. We could grow amazing food, build reliable shelter, and make a good racket if something threatening comes around. A lot of canine Pokémon had already figured out that we were willing to share the spoils for a few favors, so y’know, why not also try to get in on that?

Tauros were great at helping plow the fields to make even more food for everyone. Miltank was able to, of course, give milk as additional food so young children wouldn’t starve. Who’s idea it was to start that particular arrangement is anyone’s guess. That part of the story hasn’t survived in detail, but I believe it may have been the Miltank?

Anyways, outside of hard labor, meat was the only other thing humans could really do with the male Tauros at the time outside of the standard Pokemon Partner relationship. Miltank was more valuable as they could produce more without the need for a butcher. So as with many other living things, selective breeding happened. Both Pokémon were bred to be less temperamental, especially Miltank, though it’s never fully worked on Tauros.

Miltank were bred to have shorter legs, the harder to escape with. Smaller bodies, the easier to house in a barn. Gentler dispositions, the more willing to share their milk without a struggle. Somehow a degree of bipedalism became a side effect of all this. No one really knows how that part happened. Maybe an added cute factor? But that’s just my own speculation. More likely it’s so their teats don’t scrape the ground because… ouch.

Regardless, all those small changes resulted eventually in the Miltank and Tauros we all know of today. Put them in a field together, and they can still make more of themselves in the *ahem* ‘old fashioned way.’ More than that, they are always fully comfortable with each other, differences and all. Like nothing ever really changed between them after all this time.

Sometimes I think about all this and wonder what those ancient Tauros and Miltank were like. I wonder if Miltank could ever be restored to their original form. I wonder if they would want to. I wonder if either ‘species’ would have chosen to be our friends if they knew how it would change them.

Not that that really matters in the here and now. We’ve all become so intertwined as species that separating at this point would only hurt everyone involved. Sure there are plenty of wild herds as well, but even they carry the marks of what we humans have done.

I guess what I’m saying is, if we really are responsible for changing them, then we must also be responsible for continuing to care for them where we can. Sorry to get all philosophical suddenly, this stuff just kinda raises those questions. All I know for sure is I’m gonna keep doing what I do to raise and care for these beautiful Pokémon for all my days. And someday maybe I’ll pass this story to my own kids.

[ant1quarian]

Comfort for anyone who needs it

Just... here. It’s something I wrote, and something I know a few people need rn.

They smiled, but it was laced with pain.

They spoke, but they were ignored or shut down.

They tried, and they seemed to fail every single time.

They attempted to reach out when it was rough, but were told to “suck it up.”

So they recoiled into themselves, lost in the tornado of their thoughts. Of their mind.

“Where did that happy little child I used to know go?” People asked them.

Yet they had been the ones that had suppressed them so many years ago, and continue to still.

Alone they stood, waves crashing over them. Fire overwhelming their emotions. It knocked them to the ground every time, just when they thought they were getting better.

They didn’t ask to be in this situation.

Sometimes, they didn’t even have a reason for being sad, or tired, or ‘moody.’

But that didn’t matter.

This was what happened under the weight of expectations that so many have- and continue- to carry throughout the day, and it plagues their sleep. Yet some are even brave enough to continue smiling, just to please those around them.

After all, they don’t want to be a burden, do they?

But you must remember, the world is not your “oyster” as many have called it, but it is your home. Like homes, it will have trials and challenges. You will be tested.

So while you may not be in control of the world, you are in control of your own life. DNA doesn’t matter. It doesn’t carve you into who you are today. It doesn’t force you to have a personality, or make you have to follow a certain path that your ancestors have paved before you.

You’re the main character of your own story, but you’re also both the narrator and the authour. You can make your own choices, destroy that cursed mould, and pave your own paths.

This is what I mean when I say, “You’ve got this.”

To me, you are not a burden.

To me, your emotions will always be valid.

To me, you are worth every single breath you take,

Every step you make,

Every path you pave,

Every heartbeat,

Every word,

Every smile,

Every thought,

Every frown.

Because that’s what true friendship is to me.

So as long as you need me, I’ll be there.

I’ll share your laughs,

Be part of the stories of you being stupid,

I’ll encourage and support you,

I’ll buy you gifts,

But most importantly: I’ll be there for you.

When it’s too dark for you to find the light,

When your stuck in your head,

When your drowning under a sea of words you wish you could say,

And hurt because of the words others have dais.

I will be there defending you with every single decimeter of my abilities.

And mate, I don’t expect anything in return. Seeing others happy because of my actions, is enough for me.

So believe me when I say I care, and I know life is hard.

So maybe I shouldn’t be saying “You’ve got this.”

But, “We’ve got this.”

[abyssalcreator21]

Pandemic Thoughts #138

It is just a blast today at Linked 2022. Although, I got really crazy in my performance and well I have experienced hyperventilation earlier but I was just happy that my cosplay acquaintances did help me out and I am glad of it. Sometimes, I do overboard my performances because I wanted to really leave an impact and believe me earlier, I may have been the craziest cosplayer to showcase that kind of acting and dancing but I was just glad that at least I showcased again my uniqueness even though not all people seemed impressed. Sadly, I hadn't taken much pictures along with other cosplayers, but it's fine. I felt like in the cosplay community, there are really kind people that really consider me as someone they can interact with. I do wonder sometimes why I am this hyper and full gun-ho. Maybe because of fact that I have my share of personal struggles I do manage to let go in just being crazy but then, I know in myself I should adjust. I should always learn how to minimize my gun-ho. Maybe next cosplay, I am going to be much lighter with my energy levels and just calm myself. But for me, it is a great performance. Even though, I know in myself that I should lightened up the mood. Now, going back into reality, I must face again the trials of thesis, being part of the literary arts subdivision, and managing my studies. Although, I'm really childish, I just always push my best feet forward and trying everyday to adjust with my attitude. It is hard for me that most of my behavior influenced from Japanese animations and I find myself unconsciously adapting to their pre-designed personalities. Really, if I have just experienced conversing in just the normal social tone, I may not have adapted this personality of mine this time. I don't know much but I really think that some people just find me hard to deal with. I know with my course mates that they are shocked of why one of the intelligent people of our batch is just damn different and not acting as prescribed in the society. To have friends, to bond with them, experiencing normal college outings and many more, but for me, I am just lonely as ever. I don't fancy myself in blending that much. Yet, I do try to at least respect the gaps I have with my peers. Just trying myself to really blend in with the likes of much adjusted personalities of my course mates. But part of me always whisper in my ears that I shouldn't push myself to blend in but just be me. Adjusting, growing, and at least be really free of my true self. Even though less people are my circle, it is fine for me. But for some time, I'd wish that I could be just a plain old young adult that really knows how to bear great bonds with people who has the same age gap. Yet, one thing I'd never forget in myself is that "I always fit to stand out rather than to blend in."

[wednesdaysat7]

Post n 51 | Second Fictional Summer Session

Published on Thursday 14th July 2022

Today I will start the session with some considerations: first I didn’t plan nothing to do specifically for the session. I understand now that it could make the difference to have something planned ahead to do for a couple of hours. I’m also wondering to invite some of the MA mates to join it.

I’m observing the wings of this beautiful Hover fly* fossil which is included in Baltic amber and is more than 40.000.000 years old.

I really love to see those hover flies, they are very hard to catch on photos because they fly very fast and they tend of hiding and disappear in few seconds. Despite their camouflage they are very different from bees and wasp so they also behave differently. You can feel they are less confident, seems they know that a side of that camouflage they are harmless.   

It is disappointing that all the campaigns are focused only on bees (most of the time even only on honeybees). So why about other pollinators? I don’t think they are less important*” and definitely not less exposed to risk of extinction. They are just less pop and more difficult to monitorate. Maybe no one would give fund to protect them. I’m thinking about this since weeks if not months.   

Emotionaly I’m going through a very rough moment of my life. I’m asking often myself: what’s the point than of life? When I look at Raj I just see how easy is to lose everything we believe to have built. 

We spend most of the time to learn, to practice to establish our position in a world that is quite tough and then something appear to our life to remind us that nothing of this is really real. Nothing really matter because what we build is subject of this mysterious force of the universe that is the impermanence. I understand that eventually everything is fine. Is fine to create and see your creation to be destroyed. To love and then to be so compassionate to be able to let it go.  

Sometimes I feel that I’ve wasted so much time in my life waiting. Waiting for something to happen or to back to me. I think it is mainly an illusion. This idea to optimise the time, to professionalise every moment of our life is such a toxic narrative. In a way or another I believe that everything I’ve lived until now has helped me to be here and maybe is true that everything comes at the time that is meant to be. I struggle so much with the concept of “the right time” to be. 

It is completely different when I draw, especially when I work on my drypoint series. I feel that I’m exactly in that “right time”. The challenge with the drypoint series now is what to do with them. What do I really want from these pieces? They really helped me a lot to understand bees, bee hive and especially their anatomy - i.e. wings, mouth and tongue. The question now is if I’m just happy with it. Do I want to use a technique meant to represent just to represent? Can’t I go a bit further??

Now I’ll work on a drypoint for the next 45 minutes, which is the rest of the session.

Ciao x

*Hover flies, flower flies or syrphid flies, are part of Syrphidae  

*” From Wikipedia : Hover flies are important pollinators of flowering plants in many ecosystems worldwide. Syrphid flies are frequent flower visitors to a wide range of wild plants, as well as agricultural crops, and are often considered the second-most important group of pollinators after wild bees. However, relatively little research into fly pollinators has been conducted compared with bee species.[13] Bees are thought to be able to carry a greater volume of pollen on their bodies, but flies may be able to compensate for this by making a greater number of flower visits.

Like many pollinator groups, syrphid flies range from species that take a generalist approach to foraging by visiting a wide range of plant species through those that specialize in a narrow range of plants.[14] Although hover flies are often considered mainly nonselective pollinators, some hover flies species are highly selective and carry pollen from one plant species.[15] Cheilosia albitarsis is thought to only visit Ranunculus repens.

Specific flower preferences differ among species, but syrphid fly species have repeatedly been shown to prefer white- and yellow-coloured flowers.[16] Nonvisual flower cues such as olfactory cues also help these flies to find flowers, especially those that are not yellow.[17] Many syrphid fly species have short, unspecialized mouth parts and tend to feed on flowers that are more open as the nectar and pollen can be easily accessed.[18]

Also, a number of fascinating interactions occur between orchids and hover flies. The orchid species Epipactis veratrifolia mimics alarm pheromones of aphids which attracts pollinating hover flies .[19] Another plant, the slipper orchid in southwest China, also achieves pollination by deceit by exploiting the innate yellow color preference of syrphids.