#like my major is more than that its basically the ‘choose your own adventure’ major lol i get more freedom with what classes i take i just

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

Scary as a sleepy kitten

When - 10 or so minutes after He hasn't been himself, which takes place during the Chupacabra episode of Season 2

What - the finishing touches on Daryl's medical care, how Andrea's handling almost mistakenly killing the guy. You assure her that he's about as scary as a sleepy kitten right then. Then, there's digesting big bro Shane's descent from morality along with Daryl's simultaneous growth in it. Bonus is a hint regarding the Greene's barn. So sad there aren't any barn cats in there anymore, wonder what happened...

Genre - a little angsty, a little fluffy, a little found-family.

Who - You, Mangy Hick (that's Daryl), Patricia, Andrea, Papa Dale and his not good book, and sweet little Beth (who's got the same headcanon from the Fabulously Confident Reader stories about liking choose-your-own-adventure books)

Perspective - 2nd person, and 3rd Daryl

Pronouns - did GN again this time

TWs - some language, otherwise you just have a brief blow-up. The day's been something else, y'all

Length? - 10-15 minutes

References - when Daryl made that funny in Like a traditional Sunday dinner, the incident with Ed as seen in "Deserved" Part 1 but mostly Part 2 and its cooldown in It's not the end of the wo - oh. There's the continuation of big brother Shane's descent, a slow progression in a bulk of the chapters. Be sure to check out Invisible Tugging Strings, Part 1 and Part 2 , then Spell your last name, please. as well as He hasn't been himself

Official Masterlist here (find fabulously confident reader there!) and the Chronological Slowpoke Masterlist here

have fun and happy reading!

Apologies for the lengthy delay, slowpokes, my brain has been on power-saver for about a month, might could be evident in the chapter, too XD

...........................................

“Guess I'll just move this arm like a robot—oh-ho, check it, I can still do the tomahawk chop, y’all!”

And yeah, then his friend proceeds to make barely one and a half chops before wincing. The slight pout that forms afterward makes him want to smile, it’s damn cute.

“Hurt more than I thought it would.”

The twangy blonde lady looks entertained. “Tell me why, Y/N.”

Their pout turns more embarrassed. “…Movin’ the forearm requires these here muscles.”

He liked that their accent revved up more with the blonde lady—sorry, her name’s Patricia, he knows, got it.

“Which affects what?” Patricia asks.

“My shoulder and chest.”

“Which are injured and got irritated something serious today, along with what I’m fairly sure is maybe your C6 and 7, maybe the T1, whenever you first got hurt.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they mumble.

Stop thinking Y/N looks cute. Also, what were those letter-number things?

Sighing, his friend stares at their upper arm.

So, during the, like, he doesn’t know, 5 minutes or whatever it was when the old man helped him slump to the bathroom so he could finally take a piss, Y/N’s upper arm was wrapped to their torso to prevent them from hurting it more. They keep overdoing it, and they keep taking their damn sling off, so Patricia made a compromise, he guesses.

And after doing a modeling-pose type thing with their wrapped arm and asking who was wearing their gauze better, them or him, Y/N immediately tried to do the tomahawk chop and move like a robot and why is he finding that so damn cute right now?.

Patricia winks at Y/N. “Name some of the muscles up there and I won’t put the rest in a sling."

You

“Ooh, bicep, tricep,” basics out of the way. “This, um, one of these over here is the brachialis, this is the deltoid, the teres major’s under here.” You got that muscle wrong on an anatomy midterm back during college and never forgot about it. “This here is the trapezius.” Because the dudes who do the trapeze at the circus got real big ones (or at least that’s how you remember it). “And, well, the clavicle is this bone, so the bone under it is the scapula, which means right about here’s the subscapularis muscle,” that she said you may have hurt, “Oh, duh, then ‘the major one is the pectoralis.’ And—”

“—Okay, no sling.”

Phew. “Thank you!”

“For now, anyway. Meanwhile, Hersh is givin’ me a look, let’s get to cleaning our friend, here.”

Him

The funny part is, as Patricia left, she made a face and said, “I don’t remember most of the muscle or bone names, I just took Y/N's word for it. Now, Daryl, don’t go gettin’ out of bed, stay put.”

Now he’s finally laying down, nothing else to be done to him. He’s so damn tired.

He’s scrubbed up, too. Got a big-ass bandage over his head, wrapped all around. That was a trip; Patricia and Y/N washed his head and neck over a bowl. He counted the seconds til it was over, half-listened to whatever they were chatting about to distract himself.

Once he was bound up like a cartoon character and given instruction to not get it wet, Hershel came back and walked him to the bathroom again, this time to clean everything else off.

There was a little stool thing in the shower, with the shower hose on the ground instead of hanging. “Don’t get your head or the bandage wet. There's a waterproof cover over the dressing on your side that you'll have to remove when you're finished. Now, I imagine you prefer total privacy, but if you need the help, I can assist, or I can get your friend Theodore, if your prefer.”

“M’fine.”

The simple response “I’ll be outside the door, Daryl,” surprised him. Made him feel stupid and ashamed and comforted all at the same time.

And he…he needed the damn help. Ain’t like the old guy hadn’t seen his back already, anyway.

Still, the old man mostly stayed behind the shower curtain at his request, and he didn’t see his junk or nothing, Daryl made sure to keep himself covered.

Part of him felt like some pathetic little cat getting a flea bath.

Today was something else.

So goddamned tired…

You

Not 15 minutes went by since he was escorted to the washroom and now he’s fast asleep under the sheets.

Lori and you stayed inside with Carl (and Daryl), and Carol and Rick brought in plates of food into the house for the four of you.

Carol cooked up some jerky with an egg for Daryl as a special treat with the rest of his meal. Menu for tonight is peanut butter sandwiches (sort of, they’re on saltines), hard-boiled eggs (not soft-boiled, you checked this time), with sauteed field greens.

Your poor friend must be ravenous, but it looks like tiredness won this round. He looks so different asleep. Sweet, even. It's silly, but his light snores almost sound like purring and now you're thinking about kittens.

Another moment in the quiet, and you figure you shouldn’t stand there like a weirdo anymore.

Well, his egg and the peanut butter sandwiches will keep until he wakes up, and the jerky and egg will taste great either way, but his portion of sauteed field greens won’t be nice cold. You’re only a little bummed when you slide your portion of little sandwiches onto his plate and take his portion of greens. He’s earned extra treats, he can have all the peanut butter he wants after what he found today.

You inhale deeply. Exhale slowly. Close your eyes and ask inwardly for help after offering more thanks that he came back alive, and found concrete proof of Sophia.

It’s nice to be in the quiet. It feels safer better to be away from Shane right now, too. You aren’t sure what you’re going to do about the sleeping situation other than tell your brother to set up his own tent.

You also take one of the cracker sandwiches, it’s been a rough day. But when you start to nibble on it…your appetite is gone. Which is so dumb, dude, you’d been stoked at the thought of chowing down when you were high on Daryl being okay and having found Sophia’s doll.

Daryl’s chest rises and falls. You listen to his light snores, and find it, as Amy would’ve said, “interesting,” (but understandable) that your stomach has a few butterflies at seeing him so peaceful and still.

You miss Amy. Which prompts you to consider that you should check on Andrea. Earlier, Dale had come in and asked a bunch of questions for her because she was too ashamed to see people. From wherever she is right now, Amy is probably hoping you’ll help comfort her big sister.

Patricia stops you before you exit the house through the side-door. “Been meanin' to ask, I heard you tell your brother to get out, earlier. Everythin’ okay?”

That question was unexpected, words aren’t working for you. You shake and nod at the same time, which is weird, so, you open your mouth to fix it, but nothing formulates.

After a second try, all you can stumble through is “I don’t know, ma’am,” before ungracefully scooting outside.

After 5 minutes of polite conversation on the steps, mainly between you and Dale regarding Daryl’s status, Andrea is still dumbfounded that she’d almost killed someone.

“He’s really okay?”

“He’s bandaged and resting now. You only winged him, but the falls he took earlier did the most damage, Andy.” You’re trying not to be angry with her, but failing. Which sucks, because you know she was trying to protect the group…

But that she still shot it even though it was against Mr. Greene’s wishes and she knew that indicates an unhealthy variety of pride. One can't be having that kind of attitude with a firearm, it ain't good. And Daryl was almost a casualty because of it.

And like, come on, there were five of you running toward her target, it was dangerous for her to attempt to shoot from that angle! Doesn’t she understand that’s irrespons—ugh, and isn’t Shane supposed to have been doing gun safety shit with her? Isn’t that his whole wannabe jarhead schtick—great, now you’re more upset about Shane!

“I’m glad you’re enjoying those, ” Dale tells you, nodding at your cracker and chuckling. “They’re the part of dinner I rushed to help make, this evening was…something.”

He shrugs, and you remember how Daryl grunted that today was ‘somethin’ else.’

“I suppose having spread the peanut butter on crackers was a small step up from offering it on spoons to everyone,” he muses.

You can’t help but hum, a spoonful of peanut butter sounds scrumptious right now. Makes a good breakfast or snack, too.

“Did Daryl eat enough?” Andrea worries. “Does he need anything?”

“He was asleep when I brought him his supper, but I left my portion of the crackers—minus this one—on his plate.”

“Come to think of it, I’m not sure he’s a fan of peanut butter,” Dale thinks out loud. “I offered him some for breakfast one morning, and now that I recall, he backed away from it.”

Not like peanut butter?

“—Oh my God, what if he’s he allergic?” Andrea breathes.

“Nah, he ate a peanut yesterday. I was havin’ one of the little packets for lunch and he tried one, he can’t be allergic,” you assure them. And surely he doesn’t not like peanuts. That would be so sad!

It gets quiet.

Andrea stares at her feet.

“I can’t believe almost killed him.” She inhales and buries her face in her hands. “I shot someone.”

And Dale is only meaning to ease her discomfort and add some levity—but whether it’s because of the new bond you have with Daryl, or maybe because here’s something of a flashback hitting you from how you’d had to actually shoot a living person a few months ago—when Dale jokes to you, “Like I told her, we’ve all wanted to shoot Daryl,” you become livid.

After two shallow breaths of your inner tea kettle screaming, this sentence: “Guess y’all will want sunshine over here to work on her aim, then,” seethes out as you stand and book it to the fields.

The past several days especially has shown you how wrong your initial conclusions about that man were. He’s a work-in-progress, make no mistake, but shit if he ain’t working on it!

Unlike your brother, who keeps getting worse, who just tried to flirt with Lori by saying he didn’t care about a missing, abused little girl—the same little girl Daryl was willing to almost die to find!

Horrified at Shane and about today; confused, embarrassed, overwhelmed, in pain, overtired, and therefore angry about everything, you walk, hyperventilate, and finally, quietly, start to cry.

Then you accidentally drop the peanut butter cracker and cry harder.

The light swish of your boots in the grass starts to crunch when you reach the sandy part by now-boarded-up well. You walk faster, neither wanting to be near the two-part walker inside nor in the area where apparently, Daryl dumped Merle’s ‘hard stuff,’ as he slurred to you earlier during his trauma assessment.

Soon you’re by the rocks you’d climbed the other night. You step up and sit on a lower one and sniffle another minute or so until the worst of it seems to have spilled out.

When will you get a better handle on your temper?

While you’re busy wallowing in self-pity, you notice Dale’s watch ticking and are reminded that you have to return it.

You stand.

Trudge back with your tail between your legs.

He and Andrea are still on the steps.

“I’m sorry. I let my anger get the better of me,” you tell them softly.

Dale waves you over. “Come back and sit if you like, kiddo. It’s been a long day.”

“It’s been somethin’,” you mumble. “And you aren’t a bad shot, Andrea, I was being snotty.” About an inch to your left and he’d have been a goner, you leave out.

“I’m glad I wasn’t as good a shot as I’d hoped,” she sounds ashamed to say. Her head is still hanging low when she makes a one-sided smile and taps the spot next to her. “Will you be helping with shooting practice tomorrow?”

“If that’s still on, yeah.” Shane was enlisting your help with that, which means you’ll have to act civil…ugh, why worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself. You take the watch off, hand it to Dale. “Here you go, Mr. H.”

“Ah, very good. I would hate to start losing track of the days, then we’d really be in for it. Let’s see…an hour until it’s time to wind her up.”

The breeze carries the smell of woodsmoke with it. You lean against Andrea for a moment, she leans back.

Then Shane comes into view.

When you catch his eye, you shake your head in warning in case he’s thinking about coming over and schmoozing with the others as if he didn’t just f—tomorrow will be better. Things will be better in the morning. He’ll apologize and things will be better and you’ll all have a good day and maybe Sophia will be found.

“Y/N, how about we talk later tonight?” Dale murmurs.

Did he see the face you made at Shane?

Best change the subject. “If we do, is it finally my turn to borrow that awful book I’ve heard so much about?”

“The Case of the Missing Man is not an awful book,” he chuckles back, then shrugs. “Maybe Jimmie Herron’s style isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. My Irma didn’t like his work, either.”

“Y/N, it’s really not great,” Andrea drones.

“Glenn said the same.”

“Amy had me read it so we could, um,” her gaze grows teary. She closes her eyes for a moment, then smiles and shakes her head. “‘Share the trauma.’”

You smile and shake your head, too. That sounds like Amy. “She finished it up in my tent while I was knocked out with a migraine, first thing out of her mouth to me when I woke up was how lame it was. Told me you had first dibs.”

“Then I lent it to T-Dog”

Oh, right. On the first half-week of the trek to Fort Benning, his nose was stuck in it. “He plowed on through it, didn’t he?”

“He wanted the torture to be over.”

You and she snort, Dale just chuckles again. “After you finish it, only Rick, and our young Carl—oh, and, uh your br—and Shane, they’ll be the only ones to not have done so.” He points his finger as if an idea just popped into his head. “But both Jacqui and Lori thought it was good.”

“Bless their hearts, they loved watching soaps, though, what does that tell us?” you giggle to them.

Dale lifts his hands in surrender. “See me later, troublemaker, I’ll lend you my ‘awful’ book and we can talk. I’m gonna hold you to it.” He looks at Andrea. “Young lady, will you be alright?”

“Yes. I'm just not ready to face anyone yet.”

“You know where to find me.”

She rests her arms on her knees and slouches again, stare fixed on nothing much. You go to rest your arms on your knees, too, and are immediately reminded that that particular position is a no-go for you right now.

“Y/N, after what happened with Ed, when did the feeling of wanting to hide go away?”

“Mine was an easier situation," you quietly point out. "And it wasn’t just me, Shane was the one who—" you grimace at the memory. "You were there.”

“Mm.”

To answer her question, “But I guess it wasn’t til, y’know, I faced people again that I got I didn’t have to hide. Shane's sense of 'duty' helped, too. But after I talked to Carol, saw Sophia smile at me, when I knew they were on my side, I didn’t mind so much about the rest.”

“Pretty sure everyone was on your side with that,” she mutters. “For what I just did…”

“Pretty sure even Daryl will, um, well th-that you were tryin’ to protect the group.” …oof.

She lifts her eyebrows. “You aren’t good at lying, Y/N.”

It wasn’t a lie, per se. “Objectively, you were tryin’ to protect the group.”

“I wanted to feel in-control and like I could do it.”

Oh.

She admitted that? If only your brain could come up with something heartfelt or whatever the situation called for to convey how much humility from someone so confident and self-assured means, instead of this: “I wanna be on your apocalypse survival team.”

A sigh leaves her, and she simply asks, “Just let me know how furious he is with me. I'm dreading how he’ll be when he’s up. I'm a little scared, while I’m being honest.”

“Hm?”

“Daryl.”

“You’re scared of him?”

She eyes you. “We’ve all seen how he can fly off his handle. He waved that knife at Rick and your brother, the axe at Jenner.”

Oh, right. That didn’t even consider cross your mind, that she’d be scared of his reaction to...being shot in the…head. Man, your brain is not working.

It can’t even configure a response again, now you’re just shaking your head like a confused mute.

“You don’t think I have to worry, Y/N?”

“No,” you answer truthfully. “You might would feel better if you saw him, he's probably up an eatin' dinner by now."

"I think now's too soon."

"Trust me, he’s holed up in bed now, he’s about as scary as a sleepy kitten.”

“Kittens have teeth and sharp claws,” she dryly states.

Your mind immediately hops to the exciting fact that you have yet to meet the Greene’s barn cat(s) as you stand and lead Andrea inside through the side door to get to Daryl’s room, waving to Beth reading her book as you pass.

“Beth, this is Andrea. Andrea this is Beth. She’s the one who made the pudding for Carl. She’s Mr. Greene’s youngest.”

Andrea smiles and goes in for a shake. Beth shyly waves, the returning of the handshake ending up as an awkward afterthought.

Sweet as she is, leaving her in peace is probably what she’s hoping for (the poor teenager’s home and front yard is full of wounded strangers).

And you almost make it through the full sentence before gasping in delight when you see what book she has.“We’re just checkin’ on Dar—is that a choose-your-own-adventure book??”

Him

There was this loud noise in another room, woke him for a second. Y/N’s laugh stuck out from the other sounds.

While falling back asleep, he remembered how he'd made them laugh really loud when he ripped that $20 bill that night at the CDC. How they’d belly-laughed so hard at his dumb, tipsy-ass joke had felt so damned unexpectedly good.

He’s back asleep before the amount of pain he’s in can really register.

You

“I’ll bring it over after I talk to Mr. Horvath. He’s the older man in our group, I love him to pieces, you probably saw him in his bucket hat?” you tell Beth.

Jimmy apparently has been poking fun at her reading choose-your-own-adventure books to pass the time because they’re ‘for kids,’ so, lending him The Case of the Missing Man was decided to be the best way to get back at him.

You hope y’all didn’t wake Daryl, it’d gotten a little animated for a minute. To make up for it, you tiptoe when you trek down the hall to his room, Andrea and Beth behind you.

Beth left something of hers in there before he was brought in, but she was hesitant to go in there (which you praised, teenage girls and unknown older men don’t mix). Anyway, she was hesitant because she’s a little, um, well, kinda intimidated by him.

Andrea invited her to join you two, citing “Y/N says he’s as scary as a sleepy kitten right now.”

At his door, you knock lightly and call his name. Wait for an answer, try again.

Upon listening more carefully, his snores sound through the door and let you know he’s still asleep. Slowly, slowly, you open it.

As subtly as you can, you step into room and pull the sheet that had fallen down back over his shoulder before the girls see the scarring.

Daryl stirs, then grunts something incoherent as he flinches, blinks, and tries to turn toward you.

“It’s just me,” you hush. “I was fixin’ your sheet, it’d fallen.” You tuck the sheet down over his shoulder, gently and slowly. “You’re safe in the Greene’s house. Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”

His muscles relax and he’s back to snoring before the pet name is finished slipping out of your mouth.

Still standing beside him, you watch his side rise and fall, rise and fall. Reminds you how grateful you are. He really does look so helpless and sweet right now.

You notice Beth peeking back and forth between you and him, but she quickly looks away.

Poor buddy. If the man is this tired, he’ll rest better with closed curtains. He’s big on privacy, besides. Carefully, you start to draw them shut. Andrea joins.

Once they’re all pulled closed and the room is dimmer, she puts her hand on your arm and gently pulls you back into the hall, Beth leading the way. You make sure the door doesn’t make too much noise as it shuts.

“Thanks,” Beth whispers.

“Scary as a sleepy kitten, right?” Oh, that reminds you, “Y’all don’t have a barn cat or two, do you?”

“N-not anymore.”

Aw, that’s sad. “I’m sorry, little one.”

“Oh, um—d-don’t get too close to the big, shuttered barn, okay?” she rushes to add.

Before you can both nod and tell her ‘of course,’ she then stumbles through, “There’s—it’s—the, um—it’s just not real safe!”

She looks so freaked out and nervous that you forget you’re supposed to respond.

Lucky for you, Andrea, smooth as ever, assures her “We’ll let Carl know not play around there,” and starts to chat about how she “steers clear of old barns” ever since she spotted “the biggest rat I’ve ever seen come out of one at a company retreat,” while Patricia comes downstairs hugging to her side what looks like a wedding photo.

Beth scurries away, you make eye contact with Andrea, then Patricia gets your attention.

“Sweet pea, about tonight,” she begins, hands pressed together with her fingertips toward you. “Daryl’s gonna need to be checked on—”

“—Of course. I’ll stay with him. Please do me a list of what to check for and how often?”

“Will do. Try and borrow that big watch again, you’ll need it. Prolly will do well to have somebody else, maybe Carol to help. I'll go find her. You know, there’s an old air mattress in the attic, I’ll have Jimmy fill it up. Just go grab your sleeping bag,” she tells you.

“Thank you!” You’d been hoping for a way to avoid Shane all night. Is this a gift from above or something?

A reminder of, “Don’t use your injured side to carry your sleeping bag in,” from Patricia sends you on your way outdoors to retrieve your stuff.

The air is cooling off as the sun sets. The sky is a hazy orange-pink.

“Y/N, I didn’t realize,” Andrea says, slowly walking beside you.

“Realize what?”

“You two.”

You, too? Is she talking about your shoulder, maybe? “What’d I do? Do you mean my wrapped arm?”

She peers at you, head tilted to the side. “You and Daryl,” she softly clarifies. “It was Dale who wondered first, after you had to excuse yourself.”

Me and Daryl? “What’d we do?” Perhaps she's referring to the search today? Andrea isn’t one to not speak her mind plainly, you wonder why she’s not being more succinct. She doesn't know about you having shot that guy. Dale has an idea, but he's tight-lipped about it.

“So, you and he…?” she trails off.

?

So, you start to fill her in about the search. “Before Daryl found the doll, we’d—”

—OH WAIT, now you get it!

---------------------------

---------------------------

(for those wondering, the tomahawk chop is something Georgia Braves fans do)

> Masterlist link here

and our teeny tiny taglist :D

@spenciepoo338 @its-freaking-bats​​​​ @whistlesalot​​​​ @buffy-the-assbutt-slayer​​​​  @dreamingaboutthewonderland @kwazii-kat​ @darylsmavis​​​​​  @outlanderhornet22​​​​​ @battinsonrobs @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @multiifandomhoe @writingmybeloved @boomergirl123 @iheartathena0 @moonliight-luv @suniloli

(inbox is open if you would like on or off the taglist, slowpokes. Please don’t feel bad or nervous if you don’t want to be tagged anymore,  just let me know, we’re all friends here and your comfort level is important!)  

[twistedtummies2]

Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 9

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “How do you think this all works? By being big and being bad.”

Number 9 is…Bigby Wolf, from The Wolf Among Us.

“The Wolf Among Us” is a video game made by the now-defunct developers Telltale Games. The game was based on the comic series “Fables.” I’m going to come right out and say it: I have never read the comics, and I have basically no real knowledge of them or how the characters and lore in them may differ from the established points in “The Wolf Among Us.” HOWEVER, very thankfully, the game is able to stand up on its own two feet regardless, and so are its characters, so even someone who has basically no knowledge of the source material can still enjoy it.

The game is a sort of choose-your-own-adventure sort of deal; a point-and-click adventure where the player’s choices every step of the way affect how the story plays out, the kinds of relationships you form with other characters, and so on. Some choices are more important than others, but virtually every choice of note is worth pondering. The plot is a combo of film noir crime story and dark fantasy: it takes place in a world where various characters from the world of fiction, after their universe was mysteriously destroyed, have fled to the “real” world in order to seek refuge. They’ve established their own city, called “Fabletown,” where real world problems combine with fantastical adventures, as they struggle to build new lives and survive in this different universe, and hide their identities from the “normies” who exist beyond the borders of the city.

The main character is Sheriff Bigby Wolf. Bigby, as you may have guessed from his name and the title, is the Big Bad Wolf of fairy-tale infamy himself. In the world of the game, Bigby is a werewolf, who can transform from a human to increasingly more wolf-like forms, his true and ultimate form being a GIGANTIC feral beast bigger than elephant, able to create hurricane-force winds with his breath alone, and more than capable of swallowing a person whole. Needless to say, with this kind of setup, and his reputation as one of the greatest, most archetypal villains in history, Bigby isn’t exactly a popular Sheriff. Many fear or distrust him, and those that don’t typically still keep their distance for one reason or another.

Because of the playstyle of Telltale games, Bigby’s exact personality can shift depending on the choices the player makes: he can be sort of a gentle giant, who looks rugged and tough but really isn’t that bad. In contrast, he can be much more morally and ethically dubious, an anti-hero closer to Dirty Harry, who walks a very fine line between a man and a monster. However, regardless of the choices you make, a few things remain constant: Bigby’s general demeanor is that of an almost stereotypical noir-style detective. He’s gruff, grumpy, coarse, and can’t seem to go five seconds without having a cigarette. He’s often cynical and sarcastic, very much the sardonic hard-boiled sleuth. The character is voiced by Adam Harrington, and he does a phenomenal job giving Bigby the airs of such a great archetype, while also injecting vulnerability and sympathy into his portrayal.

The most notable constant of all, however, is Bigby’s motivations: even if you make him especially nasty, it’s usually pretty clear that this Big Bad Wolf is racked with guilt over his past. He knows the stigma that hangs over him is VERY well-deserved, and he legitimately wants to try and help people and make things better. Even when he makes questionable decisions, the majority of them are still justifiable in some fashion or another. He doesn’t want to be seen as the bad guy anymore, he wants to try and start a new life. It’s up to the player to determine if Bigby is truly able to put away the vicious, cruel, beastly sides of his personality and turn over a new leaf, or if his efforts and desires are all in vain.

Even though Telltale officially closed down in 2018, the first game was so popular that it was eventually revived for an upcoming sequel, made by the remnants of the Telltale staff with help from AdHoc Studios. The new game is set to release sometime this year, though no official release date has been given. Whenever it arrives, I look forward to seeing how Bigby’s story continues, and what new paths and new cases will await him in the future.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 8!

CLUE: “Just one more thing…”

[benevolentbirdgal]

“Thirteen″ Tips for Writing About Synagogues / Jewish Writing Advice / Advice for Visiting Synagogues

So your story includes a Jew (or two) and you’ve a got a scene in a synagogue. Maybe there’s a bar mitzvah, maybe your gentile protagonist is visiting their partner’s synagogue. Maybe there’s a wedding or a community meeting being held there. For whatever reason, you want a scene in a shul. I’m here as your friendly (virtual) neighborhood Jewish professional to help you not sound like a gentile who thinks a synagogue is just a church with a Star of David instead of a cross. 

Quick note: The are lots of synagogues around the world, with different specific cultural, local, and denominational practices. The Jewish community is made up of roughly 14 million people worldwide with all sorts of backgrounds, practices, life circumstances, and beliefs. I’m just one American Jew, but I’ve had exposure to Jewishness in many forms after living in 3.5 states (at several different population densities/layouts), attending Jewish day school and youth groups, doing Jewish college stuff, and landing a job at a Jewish non-profit. I’m speaking specifically in an American or Americanish context, though some of this will apply elsewhere as well. I’m also writing from the view of Before Times when gatherings and food and human contact was okay.

Bear in mind as well, in this discussion, the sliding scale of traditional observance to secular/liberal observance in modern denominations: Ultraorthodox (strict tradition), Modern Orthodox (Jewish law matters but we live in a modern world), Conservative (no relation to conservative politics, brands itself middle ground Judaism), Reconstructionist (start with Jewish law and then drop/add bits to choose your own adventure), and Reform (true build your own adventure, start at basically zero and incorporate only as you actively choose).

Synagogue = shul = temple. Mikvah (ritual bath) is its own thing and usually not attached to the shul. Jewish cemeteries are also typically nowhere near the shul, because dead bodies are considered impure.   

A Bar/Bat/Bnai Mitzvah is the Jewish coming of age ceremony. Bar (“son”) for boys at 13+, Bat (“daughter”) at 12+, and Bnai (“children”) for multiples (i.e. twins/triplets/siblings) or non-binary kids (although the use of the phrase “Bnai Mitzvah” this way is pretty new). 12/13 is the minimum, 12-14 the norm but very Reform will sometimes allow 11 and anybody above 12/13 can have theirs. Probably a dedicated post for another time. Generally, however, the following will happen: the kid will lead some parts of services, read from and/or carry the Torah, and make a couple of speeches. 

Attire: think Sunday Best (in this case Saturday), not come as you are. Even at very liberal reconstructionist/reform synagogues you wouldn’t show up in jeans and a t-shirt or work overalls. Unless they are seriously disconnected from their culture, your Jewish character is not coming to Saturday morning services in sneakers and jeans (their gentile guest, however, might come too casual and that’d be awkward).  1a. The more traditional the denomination, the more modest the attire. Outside of orthodoxy woman may wear pants, but dresses/skirts are more common. Tights for anything above knee common for Conservative/Reform/Recon, common for even below knee for orthodox shuls. Men will typically be wearing suits or close to it, except in very Reform spaces.  1b. Really, think business casual or nice dinner is the level of dressiness here for regular services. Some minor holidays or smaller events more casual is fine. Social events and classes casual is fine too.  1c. Even in reform synagogues, modesty is a thing. Get to the knee or close to it. No shoulders (this an obsession in many Jewish religious spaces for whatever reason), midriffs, or excessive cleavage (as I imagine to be the norm in most houses of worship). 

Gendered clothing:  3a. Men and boys wear kippahs (alt kippot, yarmulkes) in synagogues, regardless of whether they’re Jewish or not out of respect to the space. Outside of Jewish spaces it’s saying “I’m a Jew” but inside of Jewish spaces it’s saying “I’m a Jew or a gentile dude who respects the Jewish space.”  Outside of very Reform shuls, it’s a major faux pass to be a dude not wearing one.  3b. There are little buckets of loaner kippahs if you don’t bring your own and commemorative kippahs are given away at events (bar mitzvah, weddings). Your Jewish dude character not bringing or grabbing one is basically shouting “I’m new here.”  3c. Women are permitted to wear kippahs, but the adoption of a the traditionally masculine accessory will likely be interpreted by other Jews as LGBTQ+ presentation, intense feminism, and/or intense but nontraditional devoutness. Nobody will clutch their pearls (outside of ultraorthodoxy) but your character is sending a message.  3d. Tefillin are leather boxes and wrappings with prayers inside them that some Jewish men wrap around their arms (no under bar mitzvah or gentiles). Like with the kippah, a woman doing this is sending a message of feminism and/or nontraditional religious fervor.  3e. Additionally, prayer shawls, known as tallit, are encouraged/lightly expected of Jewish males (over 13) but not as much as Kippahs are. It is more common to have a personal set of tallit than tefillin. Blue and white is traditional, but they come in all sorts of fun colors and patterns now. Mine is purple and pink. It is much more common for women to have tallit and carries much fewer implications about their relationship to Judaism than wearing a kippah does.  3f. Married woman usually cover their hair in synagogues. Orthodox women will have wigs or full hair covers, but most Jewish woman will put a token scarf or doily on their head in the synagogue that doesn’t actually cover their hair. The shul will also have a doily loaner bucket. 

Jewish services are long (like 3-4 hours on a Saturday morning), but most people don’t get there until about the 1-1.5 hour mark. Your disconnected Jewish character or their gentile partner might not know that though. 

Although an active and traditional synagogue will have brief prayers three times every day, Torah services thrice a week, holiday programming, and weekly Friday night and Saturday morning services, the latter is the thing your Jewish character is most likely attending on the reg. A typical Saturday morning service will start with Shacharit (morning prayers) at 8:30-9, your genre savvy not-rabbi not-Bnai mitzvah kid Jewish character will get there around 9:30-10:15. 10:15-10:30 is the Torah service, which is followed by additional prayers. Depending on the day of the Jewish year (holidays, first day of new month, special shabbats), they’ll be done by 12:30 or 1 p.m. Usually.  After that is the oneg, a communal meal. Onegs start with wine and challah, and commence with a full meal. No waiting 4-8 hours to have a covered-dish supper after services. The oneg, outside of very, very, very Reform spaces will be kosher meat or kosher dairy. 

To conduct certain prayers (including the mourner’s prayers and the Torah service) you need a Minyan, which at least 10 Jewish “adults” must be present, defined as post Bar/Bat/Bnai Mitzvah. In Conservative/Reform/Recon, men and women are counted equally. In Ultraorthodox women are not counted. In Modern Orthodox it depends on the congregation, and some congregations will hold women’s-only services as well with at least ten “adult” Jewish women present.

In Conservative and Orthodox shuls, very little English is used outside of speeches and sermons. Prayers are in Hebrew, which many Jews can read the script of but not understand. Transliterations are also a thing.  In Reform synagogues, there’s heavy reliance on the lingua franca (usually English in American congregations). Reconstructionist really varies, but is generally more Hebrew-based than Reform. 

We’re a very inquisitive people. If your character is new to the synagogue, there will be lots of questions at the post-services oneg (meal, typically brunch/lunch). Are you new in town? Have you been here before? Where did you come from? Are you related to my friend from there? How was parking? Do you know my cousin? Are you single? What is your mother’s name? What do you think of the oneg - was there enough cream cheese? What summer camp did you go to? Can you read Hebrew? Have you joined?  A disconnected Jew or gentile might find it overwhelming, but many connected Jews who are used to it would be like “home sweet chaos” because it’s OUR chaos. 

In Orthodox synagogues, men and women have separate seating sections. There may be a balcony or back section, or there may be a divider known as a mechitzah in the middle. Children under 12/13 are permitted on either side, but over 12/13 folks have to stay one section or the other. Yes, this is a problem/challenge for trans and nonbinary Jews.  Mechitzahs are not a thing outside of orthodoxy. Some older Conservative synagogues will have women’s sections, but no longer expect or enforce this arrangement.   

Money. Is. Not. Handled. On. Shabbat. Or. Holidays. Especially. Not. In. The. Synagogue. Seriously, nothing says “goy writing Jews” more than a collection plate in shul. No money plate, no checks being passed around, even over calls for money (as opposed to just talking about all the great stuff they do and upcoming projects) are tacky and forbidden on Shabbat. Synagogues rely on donations and dues, and will solicit from members, but don’t outright request money on holidays and Shabbat. 

Outside of Reform and very nontraditional Conservative spaces, no instruments on Shabbat or holidays. No clapping either. Same goes for phones, cameras, and other electronics outside of microphones (which aren’t permitted in Orthodox services either).  11a. In the now-times an increasing number of shuls have set up cameras ahead of time pre-programmed to record, so they don’t have to actively “make fire” which is “work” (this is the relevant commandment/mitzvah) on Shabbat, so services can be live-streamed. 11b. After someone has completed an honor (reading from the Torah, carrying the Torah, opening the ark, etc), the appropriate response is a handshake after and the words “Yasher Koach” (again, Before-Times).

Jewish services involve a lot of movement. Get up, sit down. Look behind you, look in front of you. Twist left, twist right. A disconnected Jew or gentile visitor would be best off just trying to follow along with what an exchange student we had once termed “Jewish choreography.” Some prayers are standing prayers (if able), some are sitting prayers. It’s just how it is, although a handful of prayers have variations on who stands. 

[spoadicdeviance]

When “Anger Always Wins In The End”: The Story of X-Play vs Skyward Sword

Gather around the Barcalounger over by the fireplace friends, family, and those who only come to the Skyward Sword tag to bash the game in question. Old SporadicDeviance is going to tell you a tale that harkens back from the far distant past of 2011. It’s going to be a quite a long story, so you might want to get comfy.

The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword was making its rounds across the mainstream game review circuit, largely earning 9′s and 10′s across the boards. The game also ended becoming one of the very few games to earn perfect scores from both EDGE magazine and Famitsu. Talks of potential Game of the Year awards were already underway. 

Yes it seemed Skyward Sword would experience nothing but smooth sailing when it comes to the gaming media.

Enter X-Play; the TV show focused on game coverage airing on the network dedicated to gaming and technology (in the sense that MTV used to be dedicated to music) G4.

Starting in summer 1998, as GameSpot TV, and ultimately concluding its run by the start of 2013, this show was perhaps the most popular source of game reviews in its heyday. In fact, with the shows propensity to include heavy layers of snark and cynicism in their reviews, as well as having the tendency of preforming comedic skits based on the various games they covered, one could say that X-Play was one of the progenitors of various online independent game reviewers that started from around 2006 and continue to the present day.

“Why bring up the show’s history?” One may ask. Well its important to establish that the programs was very popular with a substantial viewership, even in its final years of broadcast.

Which brings us to the moment that X-Play and Skyward Sword crossed paths.

It all started with the shows review of the game and the program ultimately giving Skyward Sword an overall score of a 4 out of 5. This caused a bit of stir amongst X-Play’s audience.

Now, on the surface, a score like that wouldn’t appear to be anything to really harp on about. Sure, a 4 out of 5 score was on the lower end of the range of scores Skyward Sword was receiving at the time. Nevertheless, a 4 out of 5 was still overall a good score. 

However, as said before, this is all surface level. To get a full understanding of why some gamers were questioning X-Play’s review, you have to look at both how X-Play defines its rating scale as well as the content of the review itself, beyond the final score.

First let’s talk about X-Play’s ratings scale. In 2011 the program updated the meaning behind each of the five different ratings. For a game to earn a 5 out of 5, the game would have to “realize all ambitions of its design” while a 4 out of 5 game would only accomplish most of its goals.

Well Skyward Sword’s goal was to be the proof of concept on what the Wii’s intent was as a console. The game’s ambition was to show the world that motion controls not only be practical as the primary means of control for a AAA game but also in some ways surpass traditional controls in terms of immersion and practicality. Does that mean by giving Skyward Sword a 4 out of 5, X-Play thinks Skyward Sword didn’t fully accomplish its ambition?

No. They didn’t think Skyward Sword failed in that regard. In fact, in their review of the game, X-Play stated that despite initial skepticism on Skyward Sword going all in on motion controls, hosts Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb were pleasantly shocked with how good the controls felt, saying that the Wii-Motion Plus controls were fluid, responsive, seamless, and never frustrating. They also stated that if all Wii games controlled just was well as Skyward Sword then a large majority of complaints lobbied against the system would never have materialized.

So what caused the show to give Skyward Sword a 4 out of 5? According to X-Play’s 2011 rating system and game needs to have “minor flaws” on order to get a 4 out of 5 score. So what did X-Play think were said flaws?

Well X-Play used the trite “revisit certain areas of the game” non-criticism that I’ve already touched on in a prior post. It’s weird since games like Metroid Prime also used backtracking and X-Play still gave those games perfect 5 out of 5 scores.

They also said that there wasn’t much to do in the Sky overworld, which is outright wrong considering all of the goddess treasures and various sky islands that have their own minigames/sub quests to do. Yes its mainly side content but almost every Zelda overworlds are mainly used for side content and linking the various areas in the map. I think I’ll go more in depth on the whole “The Sky is too empty.” criticism in another post.

Then they complained about how your shield can break and you would have to go back to Skyloft in order to purchase a new shield. Seriously? This is like when people complain that in Banjo Kazooie, when you die, you have to recollect all the music notes. That’s the point. The game is punishing you for messing up during the combat. Also the game doesn’t force you to purchase a new shield. You can play the game without a shield if you choose to do so.

I would say the shield bit is the worst criticism in the review if it wasn’t for the frankly dumb, and hilarious in hindsight, critique of Skyward Sword’s crafting system. Adam called the system “grindy” and said that crafting doesn’t fit in a Zelda game. Considering how Breath of the Wild not only has a crafting system, but also, by X-Play’s standards, made it more grindy than it was in Skyward Sword, I think even Skyward Sword’s biggest detractors can call this assessment of Skyward Sword crafting system half-baked at best.

And those were the flaws X-Play found in Skyward Sword. Even if those critiques were legitimate, and let’s face it they’re not, it doesn’t seem like these flaws are enough to justify docking Skyward Sword an entire point in a 5 point rating system, does it?

Well according to a lot of fans of the show, it wasn’t. Fans were speculating that X-Play wasn’t really sincere in their giving Skyward Sword a 4 out of 5. Some thinking that they set out to not give the game a perfect score and were grasping at straws trying to find any justification for their score, rather than have their final score come naturally as they played/reviewed the game.

By all accounts, Skyward Sword seemed to have been more deserving of a 5 out of 5 score rather than a 4 out of 5, according to a lot of X-Play’s viewership. 

Viewer response to Skyward Sword’s 4 out of 5 score might have been the primary reason X-Play revamped their ratings scale the following year, using “half-stars” in its ratings (ultimately making the rating system a 10 point scale) as well as reworking the conditions for a 5 out of 5 score. Now for a game to achieve a 5 out of 5 a game doesn’t have to achieve all of its design ambitions and merely not have any “issues” which would result in a 4 out of 5.

My suspicion that the viewer response to the Skyward Sword review was the catalyst for the change is only strengthened by the fact that X-Play used Skyward Sword as their example of a 4 out of 5 game in their new ratings system. 

But despite all that, the backlash to X-Play’s review was relatively minor, especially compared to the backlash a certain other professional reviewer got for giving Skyward Sword a lower score compared to X-Play, but that’s a tale for another time.

This isn’t the main part of the the story. X-Play’s review of Skyward Sword and the viewer response to said review were all the primer for the centerpiece of this tale.

It’s now time for the awards season. All the various gaming publications were nominating and awarding the best games of 2011. Skyward Sword managed to get itself plenty of nominations, including Overall Game of the Year from publications like EDGE.

But what about X-Play? What awards did they nominate Skyward Sword for?

Did X-Play nominate Skyward Sword for Game of the Year? 

No.

Did X-Play nominate Skyward Sword for Best Action/Adventure Game? 

No

Did X-Play nominate Skyward Sword for Most Innovative Game? 

No. .

Did X-Play nominate Skyward Sword for Best Story? 

No.

Did X-Play nominate Skyward Sword for Best Art Direction? 

No.

All Skyward Sword was nominated for were Best Soundtrack and Best Motion Controls.

And you want to know the really messed up part; Skyward Sword only won for Best Soundtrack and lost the Best Motion Controls award to Dance Central 2. Let that sink for a beat. DDR Kinect 2 Dance Central 2 apparently had better motion controls than Skyward Sword according to X-Play. This despite of all the praise the show gave Skyward Sword’s controls in its review. This is like when the Queen bio-pic, Bohemian Rhapsody, won the Oscar for “Best Editing”. Are you kidding me?! But I digress.

Needless to say, if viewers were just a little peeved with X-Play’s review of Skyward Sword, they were outright mad with how the show basically snubbed Skyward Sword from its award show. 

The vast majority of gamers felt that, even if the game would ultimately not win many awards, Skyward Sword should have at least had more than two (relatively minor) award nominations and should have been nominated for Game of the Year. X-Play was being called out, rightfully so, for not giving Skyward Sword its fair dues.

But all was not lost for Skyward Sword, for while X-Play would have full control on which games were nominated and which game would win the majority the awards, the fans would have their own say for one certain award.

G4 decided to do what they called a “Videogame Deathmatch”. This was basically a tournament consisting of 32 games released in 2011. 

Each round would have multiple games paired off to face off against each other. The general public would go online and vote for one of the two games in each match to go on to the next round. The first round had people vote between 16 pairs of games. The next round would have 8. Etc. Etc. This would culminate in a final round where the two winners of each side of the bracket would face off and the people would vote between these last two games to decide which game would win the tournament and would receive the Viewer’s Choice Award at  X-Play’s Best of 2011 Award Show.

Skyward Sword was one of the 32 games selected for the tournament, whether it was because G4 honestly thought the game deserved a chance to win or they were simply trying to placate fans of the game.

I would say the latter because the side of the bracket Skyward Sword was on was definitely the more competitive side of the two. How more competitive? Well while the side of the bracket Skyward Sword was on had games like Portal 2, Minecraft, Uncharted 3, Batman Arkham City and The Elder Scroll V: Skyrim, the game that would become the finalist for the other side of the bracket was Assassin’s Creed: Revelations. Does that answer your question?

So Skyward Sword faced some stiff competition. It really seemed like G4 and X-Play did not want Skyward Sword to win this tournament so they made sure it would go head to head against some of the most popular games of 2011. It was going to be a miracle if Skyward Sword made it to the final round.

Well let me tell you something; a miracle did occur that year.

In round 1, Skyward Sword went up against Uncharted 3, the flagship PS3 title of 2011, and the fans voted for Skyward Sword over Uncharted 3.

In round 2, Skyward sword went head to head against Fifa 12, the latest entry of the videogame series based off of the most popular sport in the world, and the majority chose Skyward Sword over Fifa 12. 

In round 3, Skyward Sword faced off against Batman Arkham City, the game that is considered to be one of the greatest superhero games ever made (if not the greatest), and Skyward Sword got more votes than Batman Arkham City.

In the semi-finals, Skyward Sword went one on one against The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, one of the best selling games of all time, and the gamers chose The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword over Skyrim.

Needless to say when Skyward Sword went up against Assassin’s Creed: Revelations, a game that even fans of the Assassin’s Creed franchise don’t hold in the highest regards (at least it’s not Unity?) in the final round, the vote went overwhelmingly in Skyward Sword’s favor.

The end result was that Skyward Sword won G4TV’s Videogame Deathmatch: Best of 2011 Tournament and was awarded the Viewer’s Choice Award for 2011.

Now when it came time to officially announce the winner of the winner of the Viewer’s Choice Award during the televised award ceremony, how do you think the hosts handled the situation?

Well take a look for yourself with this Youtube video archiving X-Play’s award show that year. (Timestamp 34:04-35:25)

They start out by saying how close the matchup between Skyward Sword and Assassin’s Creed: Revelations was, despite the fact that by accounts of those who participated in the voting process, Assassin’s Creed never got more than 40% of the votes in the final round, but that can be chalked up as theatrics for the audience.

When they reveal to the audience that Skyward Sword won the final round and in turn won the Viewer’s Choice Award, you can juts tell that Adam Sessler is not happy with the results. The way he’s moving his body. His tense face and pursed lips. The sarcastic tone in his voice as he calls Skyward Sword “Nintendo’s love letter to motion controls”.

Adam is not happy that the game he and the rest of the staff at X-Play snubbed from their award ceremony not only won the Viewer’s Choice Award but also beat two of their nominees for Game of the Year, including their choice for overall Game of the Year, in the process.

At this point, most people think it would be best for Adam to just accept the results for what they are, give Skyward Sword a proper congratulations, and move on with the next award of the night, in spite of Adam’s personal feelings towards the situation. Just be professional. That’s all Adam needed to do.

Most would think that, but Adam Sessler is not most people.

As the hosts were talking about Skyward Sword’s win, Blair Herter made a passing comment saying that the Nintendo fanbase being “enraged” over Skyward Sword not being nominated for Game of the Year helped Skyward Sword win the Viewer’s Choice Award.

Adam immediately jumped on that by adding with and I quote;

“Enraged? That’s a-th-th-that’s a nice term. It was close race, but ANGER always wins in the end.”

Wow. I mean wow. Not even the Red Sea is as salty as Adam Sessler was with that comment.

He couldn’t just take the L like an adult and move on. He felt like he had to get the final word on the matter. 

It’s like Adam wants to say the Viewer’s Choice Award doesn’t really count because the vote didn’t go the way he wanted. This is, ironically, the kind of immature fanboy behavior Adam is trying to make fun of. It makes it seem like Adam thinks he’s above the “unwashed masses” that participated in the Videogame Deathmatch voting process. 

Regardless on if you think Skyward Sword deserved to win the tournament, you must admit that this was bad look on Adam’s part.

Now I don’t want to end this post on a bittersweet note so I want you to think about what actually happened. 

Skyward Sword is so beloved by the majority of gamers that when a review show as big as X-Play tried to downplay the game’s quality as well snub the game from its best of the year award show, the gamers respond by making sure Skyward Sword won the title of the Viewer’s Choice awards.

And this is one of several time where when major reviewer publications/programs reached out to their audience, the gamers, to get their take on what game they felt was the best game of 2011, and The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword was chosen by said gamers as the the best game of that year.

It’s funny because whenever I bring up that point, the minority of Skyward Sword detractors try to make up some excuse to delegitimize Skyward Sword winning the viewer’s choice award.

When I mention Skyward Sword winning IGN’s viewer’s choice award, or when Skyward Sword was voted the number one, best game of 2011 by the fans of ScrewAttack, they say “Oh that’s because fans of Skyrim, Batman Arkham City, Portal 2, and so on were divided amongst themselves while Nintendo fans were united in their support for Skyward Sword. If the poll wasn’t a free for all, Skyward Sword wouldn’t win.”

Well here’s another instance of Skyward Sword winning a viewer’s choice award; Skyward Sword had to go one-on-one against multiple games in order to win the viewer’s choice award. Skyward Sword got more votes than some of the most popular, well reviewed, and highest selling games of that year. More gamers preferred Skyward Sword over Uncharted 3, Arkham City, and Skyrim.

I think all of that, along with how Skyward Sword was considered the best game of 2011 by ScrewAttack and IGN users, and how people are hyped for the HD rerelease, it’s safe to say that despite what some vocal people may try to say otherwise, The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword is a game that is far more beloved by gamers than it  is “divisive”. 

[hopeymchope]

Parascientific Escape: The sci-fi “escape room” visual novel-style series nobody talks about

I can’t help thinking that Parascientific Escape would probably have an active fandom somewhere on the Internet if it wasn’t TRAPPED ON THE 3DS ESHOP.

I mean, it’s an escape room-centric visual novel-style sci-fi Japanese game that is clearly inspired by Zero Escape and very anime in its style. There are endearing characters, including optimal waifus/husbandos, plus a gradual buildup of an interesting fictional world full of political intrigue, its own countries, its own companies, and of course... psychic powers. Because you can’t have a trilogy of Japanese visual novel-style games featuring escape room puzzles without mental powers, now can you?

But as I said... they’re trapped as download-only titles for the 3DS. That’s fucking brutal. 

Even so, there’s a pretty big 3DS/2DS user base still in existence. It’s not like they’ve never been translated or something, so at least we have the capability to play them. So if you look into them, what are you getting?

A basic overview: Parascientific Escape is a trilogy of anime-style games about solving escape room mysteries and tracking down evildoers via the use of psychic powers (obvious Zero Escape influences). There’s an overarching plot about a mysterious mastermind who believes it’s time for the recently emerged psychics of the world to take their place as the next evolution of humanity and get their own nation (obvious X-Men influences).

They don’t work very well as standalone stories; each story relies on information from the last one, culminating in a game that stars the protagonists of both parts 1 and 2 together as they finally unravel the motivations behind the events of the whole series and face off with the people behind everything. In addition, the escape room puzzles start out pretty easy in the first game build to be pretty frustratingly obtuse by the tail end of the third. And on top of all that, each game taken on its own only contains about 3-4 escape rooms. So when you bundle all three together, that’s when it all works as a single satisfying package. 

Don’t worry about burning a lot of cash to play the whole series, however. The three games are $5.00 US each on the 3DS eShop and are usually on sale for $2.50 each these days. I got the entire trilogy for $7.50 US!

So let’s break down the gameplay and setup in a little more detail. Don’t worry; I won’t give any spoilers that go beyond the first five minutes of any game in the series. The twists and turns are part of the fun here.

The first game is Parascientific Escape: Cruise in the Distant Seas. You play as  Hitomi Akeneno, a high school girl (because of course she’s a high-schooler) with the dual abilities of mild telekinesis and a type of clairvoyance that lets her peer past barriers or into the insides of objects. She finds herself trapped on a sinking cruise ship where some mastermind keeps systematically locking her into isolated sections while she’s trying desperately to escape. 

I really liked how you could look inside of an object with clairvoyance and then use her telekinesis to manipulate the various switches and levers within, gradually pulling some object you need out from within a maze. I also thought it was clever how the solution to a new escape roomight require you to backtrack to a previous escape room to investigate some object or area that wasn’t relevant to that previous room’s original puzzle. 

(One of the things I found most fascinating about this one is the ethical debate raised by Hitomi’s friend Chisono regarding how Hitomi got herself involved in all this. Chisono offers a perspective that is extremely unusual to see in most fiction. You can even say it’s pretty cold, but it’s not without having some merit to it. I don’t want to say too much about what I’m talking about, though; it’s better left as a surprise.)

The second title, Parascientific Escape: Gear Detective, almost seems standalone at first. You play as Kyosuke Ayana, a private detective and actual adult (!) who is 22 years old. A young woman shows up at his office and asks to hire him for protection. See, there’s a serial killer on the loose, and she believes she’s the next target.

We are swiftly told that Kyosuke was once in an accident that necessitated the replacement of his left arm and right eye. He volunteered to be a guinea pig for some very special prosthetics that granted him artificial psychic powers. As such, he now has “chronokinesis” — to the power to look back in time. However, he can only look back for five days, and he only has limited ability to move or manipulate the things he sees in the past. 

Naturally, Kyosuke’s investigation winds up trapping him within some escape rooms that require use of his unique abilities to solve. Some of the hints at the proper timestamps or exactly where you should be looking when you peer into the past are a little vague, though, which can cause momentary frustration. Because I like to always be making forward progress, I actually preferred Hitomi’s telekinesis/clairvoyance powers from the first game. Still, Hitomi had some pretty basic puzzles in her rooms. I can’t deny that these puzzles took more thought.

Outside of the escape rooms,  everything is undeniably a huge improvement. The first game presented strictly linear segments of storytelling between the rooms, but this one is more of an adventure game. You can choose where you go, select from a limited menu of things to do when you get there, and do all of it in any order you like. There’s usually a correct sequence order to progressing the story, but it’s typically pretty clear what the next step is, so it’s not like you’re just flailing about and trying a bunch of locations blindly. Besides, there’s no way to get stuck, so don’t stress it. There are even a lot of actions you can take that have no impact on story progression at all — they’re just there to generate additional dialogue that further develops the characters. 

The tradeoff is that you actually get fewer escape rooms overall. The first game had four, but the second only contains three. This is also the first game in the series to introduce multiple endings; you get a number of dialogue choices throughout, and unfortunately, it’s far too easy to trigger the “bad” ending. There are guides online to help you trigger the Gold Star “true” ending, however. Just hit up GameFAQs. You might want to use the guide on your first playthrough, because I can say from experience that it’s annoying to have to replay all the dialogue sections just to make the correct choices. (Luckily, you can skip over any irrelevant sections of each chapter — including the escape room puzzles.) 

In spite of my above whining, the second one is probably my single favorite story in the Parascientific trilogy. It’s a lot of fun.

The final game in the trilogy is Parascientific Escape: Crossing at the Farthest Horizon. Mysterious characters who were plotting offscreen for the previous two games are finally given faces, locations that were talked about extensively in both are finally visited, and the two protagonists of the first couple games finally meet and team up. It’s absolutely a culmination of what they set up in the first two.

The narrative jumps around from the perspectives of many different characters, but the most time is undoubtedly spent with Hitomi and Kyosuke. Sadly, there is no gameplay usage of Hitomi’s powers this time; the escape rooms are all done with Kyosuke, and they are more devious now than ever before. Personally, I found the next-to-last one to be incredibly obtuse and frustrating. I ultimately had to consult a video playthrough on YouTube for that. (The YouTuber in question didn’t seem to have the same issues figuring things out that I did. So I guess your mileage may vary.)

The “adventure game” segments make a return here as well, although they’ve also become a bit tougher to figure out. There are a couple of times when you might find yourself wandering the various location options, clicking on every possible action to try and progress. Luckily, there aren’t so many default options that you’re left flailing for very long. Even the longest period of clueless wandering lasted me a maximum of 15 minutes.

Once again, you have to make the correct dialogue choices if you want a positive ending. And once again, GameFAQs is your friend and co-pilot.

Ultimately, even the gated endings and occasional puzzle frustrations did little to curb my enthusiasm. I really had fun with these characters and their stories, I greatly enjoyed the majority of the escape rooms, and I was pretty satisfied with how it all wrapped up. The character designs/artwork get better and better as the series goes on. The selection of music tracks may be the same throughout the whole series, but I really dug on them, so I can’t complain. Do I have any other misgivings? Well, just one; the English localization is pretty sloppy. There are a pretty large number of typos, and the dialogue can sound stilted and awkward at times due to being a direct translation. It’s actually at its worst at the start of the first game. Luckily, after about 30 minutes of playtime, it settles in and finds its voice.

Seriously, they should really figure out a way to re-package these games for another system that doesn’t use the the dual-screen setup. Put all three of them together, and it’d easily be satisfying as a full retail release!

But for now, if you have a 3DS/2DS, they’re only $7.50 in total most of the time (and $15.00 at the worst). Do you like adventure game-style mysteries and visual novel-esque progression and, of course, escape rooms? You should give these a shot! And I hope these devs get to make games with bigger budgets and better localizations in the future.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - The Return of the King

So we’re back to the quasi-filler stuff. This episode does set a few things up for the finale, like bringing Edmund to Corona, but none of those things are actually good and it’s still mostly filled with irrelevant shit alongside the more important stuff. 

Summary: King Edmund arrives in Corona to see his long-lost son, Eugene, and to give him the royal sash of their bloodline. Eugene wants nothing to do with him, but Rapunzel invites him to stay. Later, the sash is stolen and a ransom note is left behind. Edmund and Eugene decide to go and retrieve it. Meanwhile, the Stabbington Brothers plot revenge on Eugene as they are both viewed as a joke by the other criminals.

So How Did the Stabbingtons Escape the Prison Barge 

Last we saw them they were stuck on a prison barge along with Lady Caine and all of the other season one villains. How did they escape? Did Lady Caine or anybody else make it out? If so then where are they this season? 

We’re not going to get any of those questions answered are we? 

Man this is just sloppy continuity. Which ironic, because these two were only brought back this season because of continuity. They need to be “redeemed” so that they can be at the wedding. I guess it just sucks to be you if you’re an original villain for this show and not named Cassandra. 

Why Is This Deserving of Ridicule? 

Like...We’re talking about a world renowned thief and adventurer and his magical royal girlfriend who are well known enough outside of Corona to be mentioned and there for no doubt people know how they both defeated monsters, daemons, and several criminals besides just there two guys, right? 

This plot point makes no sense. 

You could just kick these dumbasses butts and be done with it. I doubt they’d bother picking on you again if you did.  

Did we really need even more motivation for them to want revenged against Eugene?

Rapunzel is Back to Being Her Bossy Self 

Rapunzel has not earned the role of “wise administrator” yet. She’s only been out of the tower for two years now and she has yet to prove to the audience that she has managed to learn anything since then. By jumping the gun and forcing her into a role that she hasn’t grown into, and by ignoring that this whole show started out as a coming of age story, it just makes Rapunzel unpleasant to be around. All her “advice” is just her ordering people about with a veneer of chipperness to try and mask her controlling nature. People who should know more about their own lives than she does and have no reason to listen to her.  

So We’re Showing Rapunzel Being Responsible... By Having Her Avoid Responsibility? 

Part of why the writers made her “acting queen” for the first half the season was to get her to grow into the role of becoming full time queen. However they screwed this up by not having her actually learn anything and having her avoid the real duties a queen preforms. 

What Rapunzel is doing her is just being a socialite busybody. The only administrative thing she does is approve some low-scale building plans for a small business. A thing that would have been handled by a lower official in an actual functioning government.   

Once again Rapunzel is being selfish and doing what she like, ie bossy people around while having them kiss her ass, as the real work of running the kingdom is left to someone else. This isn’t being responsible, it’s being hypocritical, but don't expect anyone to ever call Rapunzel out for this. 

Pointless Action Scene is Pointless

At this point, the low stakes action sequences are just cringe. Like is this an adventure show or not people? Stop forcing crap like this and give us some real conflicts instead.  

How Did You Get Here So Fast Edmund?

It took Rapunzel and company nearly a year to get to the Dark Kingdom. Even if Edmund wasn't delayed with pit stops like they were, it would have still taken him several months to get here by horse. 

Did he take a boat, or have four to six months already past since Rapunzel’s Return? 

I would argue that this episode was aired out of order and should have been later in the season, but Cassandra’s appearance at the end of this story, and Hamnuel’s appearances in later episodes, would suggest otherwise. 

Crap like this is why season’s three timeline doesn’t work unless you stretch everything out to two years instead of one. 

Read the Room Rapunzel

One could argue that Rapunzel is just trying to be polite, but that doesn't really hold water. 

For starters Eugene is clearly upset and has every right to want to set boundaries between himself and Edmund. Ignoring that is incredibly rude and if my significant other ever did such a thing, well they wouldn’t be my significant other for very long. 

Secondly, Rapunzel could have offered other accommodations if she felt pressured to be polite to Edmund. Not only are their lots of inns in a port town known for trade, many of which are probably well-to-do, but there’s also that convent that was mentioned back in season one. It has to be somewhere in Corona itself and as the so far only mentioned major religious organization in the country it would no doubt have stately quarters for when royalty and nobility would visit. 

So not only would it be a suitable place for a visiting king to stay in, as it would be made for such things, but it’s also far enough away that Eugene wouldn’t feel like his space is being invaded but close enough that Edmund could come and go as he pleases. 

By that point it’s still between Edmund and Eugene and Rapunzel can stay out of it, like she should. 

Eugene is Right

These are all valid reasons for cutting someone out of your life. Furthermore, you don’t even need a reason. If you don’t want to associate with somebody then just don't associate with. It’s your life. You don’t have to justify how you choose to live it and people who actually care about you should respect that. 

Unfortunately no one respects Eugene.  

Not Edmund, not Rapunzel, and most certainly not the writers. 

Then Why Don't You Get Closer to Edmund, Rapunzel?

I understand Rapunzel’s viewpoint here. Edmund is the only person she’s ever met who has experienced the same isolation that she has. He’s one of the very few people whom she can empathize with. 

However that doesn’t give her the right to force her views upon her boyfriend. If she cared so much than she could just befriend Edmund herself and leave Eugene out of it. 

Trying to encourage a child to have relationship with a parent who neglected them is super tone deaf at best and outright disrespectful at worst. It’s also highly hypocritical seeing as Rapunzel cut Gothel out of her life for similar reasons and Eugene only ever supported her for it. 

No really, flip the situation. If Eugene tried to encourage Rapunzel to give Gothel a second chance everyone would be slamming him for it. So why does Rapunzel get a free pass? 

Shorty Already Did That, Eugene. Don’t You Remember? 

I mean, you were literally right there when it happened. Are we forgetting season two the same as season one now? 

So Why Are Stan and Pete Suddenly Back, But Not Cap?

I mean we went through all that trouble in Rapunzel’s Return to write them out of the narrative and here they are without any explanation. Why are simple set ups so dang hard for this show? 

Rapunzel is Overstepping Her Bounds Here

Ok, giving Edmund a place to stay is one thing. Suggesting to Eugene that he should give Edmund a chance is not appropriate but still forgivable. But this? 

This crosses a fucking line! 

Eugene is not Rapunzel’s subject. He’s her boyfriend, and a prince in his own right. Rapunzel can’t just volunteer him for crap without his consent. That’s just indirectly ordering him about like she would a servant.  

Once again, flip the script. If Eugene tried to force Rapunzel to work with Gothel everyone would be up in arms. Why is this then deemed okay? 

This is Coercion

Not only is Edmund and Rapunzel trying to guilt trip Eugene here but she even fucking elbows him!

Like this isn’t “cute couple bickering” here. That kind of stuff is reserved only for inconsequential shit. 

This a woman trying to strong arm and guilt trip her husband to be into having a relationship with his abusive father! Because guess what? Neglect is still abuse! 

Rapunzel has zero say in Eugene and Edmund’s relationship. It’s none of her fucking business! Trying to force her into this plot just makes her look like an asshat. 

I mean look at this smug smile! The fucking bitch is proud of being a shit human being and a terrible girlfriend. 

And of course don't expect the show to call out this behavior as wrong because of out of date sexist double standards. If you think any of this is okay then just role reverse Eugene and Rapunzel here and then tell me its still alright. 

The Show Missed a Real Trick By Not Naming Him Horus Instead

Horus, the sun god, would have been a nice bit of irony and given meaning to the name while keeping the joke virtually unchanged. You could have had both lore and a punchline. 

And I would argue that the joke as is, isn’t even funny. Horace is indeed a lame name, but not for the reason that the show gives. It’s lame because it’s not unique enough. There’s already a Disney character named Horace and I’m sure there are real people out there with that name as well since it’s not completely unheard of. So the joke falls flat and winds up insulting anyone with that name. 

Don’t Expect Any Pay Off for Eugene’s Identity Issues This Season

Yeah the show makes a big deal out of Eugene having a mid-life crisis through out season three, but then never resolves it in any meaningful way. 

Edmund Is an Asshole 

I don’t care how “crazy” he is. Calling someone by a name they don't wished to be called is just plain rude. Acknowledging someone’s preferred name is just a basic common courtesy that is expected of everyone. Once again, this isn’t funny, quirky, nor charming, just unpleasant. 

So the Animators Wasted a Model on a No-Named Character Who Only Appears Once

Someone said this little girl appears in season one, but it’s not noticeable if she does. She also doesn’t have a name and this is her only speaking role. What a waste of money. Just have one of the braided girls from the movie instead. You already built models for them and haven’t really used them. 

And before some mentions race here, this is poor rep already cause the character has no impact. 

Turns Out, Varian Didn’t Even Need Those Truth Serum Cookies

Not only does this dumb down Pete to a ridiculous degree, but it also invalidates everything Varian went through in The Alchemist Returns and the grief he got from everyone for using the truth serum. 

Oh, and it’s also lazy writing and a plot contrivance.  

That’s Not Figgy Pudding!

This is Figgy Pudding.

It’s a boiled “pudding” that’s more like a cake with dried fruit in it. During the 14th through 18th centuries such bread puddings were made to be carried around in ones pocket or knapsack for eating on the go. They’re nothing like the creamy custards we call puddings today. 

It also looks nothing like what’s shown on the screen below. 

That’s like a half eaten loaf of wheat bread?  

That’s jelly filled .. apparently...?

Once Again, If You Have to Make Everyone Else Incompetent to Make Your Hero Useful to the Plot Then You Need a New Plot

Rapunzel has zero business in this plot. She doesn’t even need to be in this episode beyond a cameo. Trying to cram her into the protagonist role in a conflict that doesn’t involve her is just a disservice to everyone.  

Winnie The Pooh Is More Mature Than This Show

More of that meta commentary I was talking about last episode, and it just as full of shit as ever. 

Seriously Find Her, Keep Her is the best script I have ever seen in any show. It’s perfectly balanced so that anyone of any age can relate to it. It’s real and heartbreaking and perfectly suitable for small children to understand. There’s no shock value, no darkness, no modern satire, but its far more mature and complex and deep than anything TTS has tried. 

Also Rabbit is a far better father than any dad in this show, while still being cut from the same trope. There’s no shame in being a children’s show when its done well and this now 30 year old kids show runs rings around what ever mess Tangled is trying to sell. 

Eugene Isn’t Exaggerating Here and I Don't Know How to Feel About That

Turns out Eugene did grow up with these guys the same as he did with Lance. It’ll be confirmed only two episodes later. That just recontextualizes everything. He didn’t just betray some rando guys that he held no feelings for, he betrayed people that he’s known and worked with since childhood. 

Now just because he’s known them doesn’t mean that they were family to him like Lance, but like the fact that he keeps claiming then as such through out the episode would suggest that perhaps they were like siblings. 

That’s ... ingenious. That makes Flynn Rider retroactively an even worse person and gives the Stabbingtons real reason for vengeance. 

Only the show doesn't do anything with this!  It just makes Eugene an even bigger jerk in the movie for zero reason. 

Let Me Reiterate, Edmund Is an Asshole 

Just like with Frederic, Cassandra, and Rapunzel the show uses framing to try and make the audience side with people who do unforgivable things. 

Edmund is an abuser. He neglected his own son for 25 years. But the show presents him as “funny” and “quriky” and “look at his pouty face, he’s so lonely”.... 

No!

Edmund isn’t deserving of anything and how he treats Eugene here is garbage. 

This show is utter crap writing wise but boy does it know how to gaslight its own audience into siding with bullies and abusers.  

Eugene Is One Thousand Percent In the Right Here, But Don’t Expect the Narrative to Acknowledge That

There’s nothing you can do to make up for that. 

Eugene might forgive him. Eugene might move on from it. Eugene might decide a relationship it still worth having with Edmund. But the horrible thing still happened and it happened because Edmund allowed it to happen. There’s no going back from that and everything going forward has to be on Eugene’s terms alone. 

But the narrative won't allow Eugene that agency. 

Even as he makes his grand proclamation about being done with Edmund the cameras chooses to focus on Edmund and his feelings. The story is already priming the audience to prioritize Edmund over Eugene so that when the forced and contrived forgiveness scene comes we won't question it. But it only comes because Chris doesn’t deem Eugene as individual person with thoughts and feels of his own, but as an avatar to fulfill his wishfulment fantasy regarding his own personal daddy issues. 

Rapunzel’s Characterization in Season Three is Just....Off

Ok, even ignoring the major stuff, like not recognizing what she’s done wrong, putting her into roles she’s not meant to carry, and making her a shitty girlfriend suddenly, Rapunzel just behaves contrary to her character all through out season three even in small subtle ways like here. 

On the surface this seems like a clever call back to Great Expotations, but lets examine more closely, shall we. 

On one end we have yo-yos; an invention that’s been around since ancient Greece and is so wide spread across the globe that the word “yo-yo” itself is theorized to come from Indonesia and the Philippines.

On the other end there is Rapunzel. A woman who spent 18 years isolated inside of a tower, because of this she is both ignorant of somethings and insatiability curious and eager to learn.  Or at least she was, until striking out onto a year long road trip, and having now been out of the tower for only two years, claims to know better than the entire fucking world about this object who’s existence she didn’t even know about until only a year and half ago! 

Like what kind of sense does this make? Why would you abandon the core of her drive and motivation, to learn, explore, and grow, and then call it “development”? 

How Did Edmund Get Beat By These Guys?

Edmund took out Adria. The Brotherhood is suppose to be the best physical fighters in this world and Edmund is supposed to be best out of all of them. Yet he’s taken out by two random, mediocre dudes who didn't even jump him. They gave him time to respond and he stood up to fight them. 

Was all his physical prowess tied into that axe? Is the axe magic? 

If you characters have to be depowered for unexplained reasons for the plot to work than you haven’t a good plot. 

This Isn’t as Heartwarming as You Think It Is Show

If Edmund knew where Eugene was this whole time then he could have actually provided for his son. He could have arranged adoption with someone by letter, sent money, food, clothes, ect, maybe even wrote to Eugene directly and kept up a long distance relationship to be there for him emotionally. 

There is literally no excuse anymore for Edmund to hide behind. He literally neglected his duties as a parent, just cause. 

Finding these things shouldn’t make Eugene happy. Finding these things should piss him off even further because that’s how any logical adult would respond to this bullcrap. 

I sure know I’m angry. I’m angry that Eugene is a pawn for the creators’ writing wank-off rather then being treated as human being; as an actual character. 

“Nice” Isn’t the Same Thing as Kind, Rapunzel

One could argue that she’s not even superficially nice in season three, but the real problem here is that the show, and by extension Rapunzel herself, doesn’t understand the difference between being “pleasant” and actually being a good person. Outwardly polite people can stab you in the back, can kill you even, and not care, as Rapunzel has demonstrated repeatedly since season one.   

Do They Have to Be “Family” for Eugene to Give a Damn? 

Can’t Eugene just do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do? People don't need to be friends and family to care about each others lives. Kindness isn’t transactional. Empathy and true charity doesn’t come with strings attached. If Eugene’s whole arc is about becoming a better person, then making the Stabbingtons “family” kind of undermines this. 

Don’t Reward the Dude for Doing the Bare Fucking Minimal 

No seriously. Edmund forfeited the right to ever be called “dad” by Eugene a long fucking time ago. He doesn’t get to be called that now just because he stopped being a piece of scum and showed the bare minimal of human decency. Even if Eugene decides to have a relationship with Edmund after this, it doesn’t mean that  he has to be recognized as his dad or that that relationship will be a parental one.  

Eugene, and by Extension the Show, Places Rapunzel Upon a Pedestal to  the Detriment of All

Only 4 villains out of 20 get redeemed in this show. Four, and yes I’m counting the Stabbintions as one entity here. That’s 16 times Rapunzel failed to give someone a second chance just cause she didn’t feel like it that day, and even here she did fuck all in trying to give the Stabbingtons any sort of chance. That was all on Eugene. 

The more this show goes on, the more it looks like Eugene is just in love with the idea of Rapunzel rather than who she actually is as a person. It’s a disservice to both their characters but it damages Rapunzel most of all because the show perpetuates this over idealization to everyone she interacts with. 

It’s really sickening to watch and terrifying to know that some uphold this selfish brat as a “role model” for little girls. There’s nothing empowering in being an inhuman “goddess” who can do no wrong....even as they do several wrongs and never gets called out on it.    

This Isn’t “Cute”

Eugene can’t even have an opinion on a fucking toy!

Look if you still like New Dream despite how horribly written it is this season, then good for you. That is completely understandable, especially since this is mainly a problem with season three and not really in the first two seasons and certainly not in the movie. 

But if you try to deny that they aren’t toxic in season three, that people who do have problems with how they’re written aren’t valid in their concerns, than you’re either someone who hasn’t been paying attention or someone who has gross double standards for women in relationships. 

This Scene Is A Waste of Time

This doesn’t tell the audience anything. It contradicts what was previously established concerning her powers without explanation and then just throws the creepy girl voice in there for a lazy hook. It doesn’t work at foreshadowing since we repeat this info all over again in the next episode and it doesn’t expand upon neither Zhan Tiri’s nor Cassandra’s characters.

 In fact it kind of contradicts Cassandra’s characterization in the last episode as well. Is she a remorseless bad bitch or a vulnerable woobie? She can’t be both. Not in the way show is going about it anyways. 

It’s poor time management and poor storytelling. 

Conclusion

It was mildly better than Rapunzel’s Return, but that’s not saying much. Everyone’s character is still circling the drain and there’s no escape line in sight. 

But before I close out, here is a real world update. I had to quit my job at Amazon for personal reasons and am currently job hunting. I’m not hurting right now, I do have money saved up to cover me for at least a month and I’ve been doing commissions here and there, however despite having more time technically to write these reviews, I’m now having to juggle it along with artwork and job hunting. 

If you would like to support my reviews and other personal projects you can send me a tip over at Ko-Fi and more public commissions will be opening soon over there as well.  

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

[veliseraptor]

Down in the Yi City Pit: A Recs Post

So as anyone following me may have noticed, I’ve been spiraling ever deeper into a pit called Yi City Feelings. I’m down at the bottom and I’m still digging. This also means I’ve been doing a lot of fic reading, and I figure it’s about time that I wrote a recs list, since I said I’d do it and some people expressed interest.

Heads up that I am a dirty Xue Yang stan first and foremost, so this list is going to skew in, uh, that direction. Just so we’re all aware.

Divided these into canonverse recs and modern au recs, since apparently this is the only thing I’ll read modern aus for! It’s a brave new world out here. 

Also like. blanket warnings across the board here for The Inherent Dubiousness of Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen as a Pairing, Generally. I’ll offer more specific/major ones as they’re relevant/I remember, but please check the tags/authors notes as well.

CANONVERSE

lover to your nightmare by Zaatar (@ameliarating) . Xue Yang uses Xiao Xingchen getting sick as an opportunity to fuck around a little. Second person POV sickfic, except XueXiao flavored sickfic which means it’s messy and full of good things like “delirium” and “people taking advantage of other peoples’ confusion and disorientation to mess with them psychologically.” This fic also does the thing I love really well where Xue Yang’s internal monologue/self-justification is full of indications that he’s having Feelings that he neither recognizes nor acknowledges. Crunchy, delicious.

Samsara / 輪迴 by ForgivenMemes. Upsetting fic full of every content warning ever alert! (Off the top of my head: violence, rape, suicide, self-harm.) I keep going back to this fic and rereading it because it hurts so bad and I love it, because it hurts in the best worst self-sabotage recapitulating-mistakes-over-and-over way. Like, I am a sucker for a time loop fic always, and usually I read them as a route to fixing things - but honestly I’ve always loved the part of time loop fics that’s “everything getting worse first.” And this is a whole fic of “everything getting worse.” Aka, the one where Xue Yang has thousands of chances to get it right, but there’s no getting it right.

compromise by Sectionladvivi. Xiao Xingchen convinces Song Lan and Xue Yang to kiss. (aka, obviously Yi City AU where Song Lan gets folded into things, Xiao Xingchen still doesn’t know about Xue Yang being Xue Yang, and an uneasy detente where the two of them don’t touch each other gets interrupted by Xiao Xingchen Wanting Things, which is, of course, a priority always). 

til dawn by Sectionladvivi. Xue Yang takes care of Xiao Xingchen’s body after his death, and mind the tags. This is that perfect Yi City level of “horrifying and also very sad, I feel bad for my boy but also he is sort of defiling a corpse (though it is just kissing).” This might not sound like a recommendation but it is absolutely a recommendation.

Our Antebellum Innocence by spockandawe (@spockandawe). First time XueXiao. Xue Yang lays the groundwork for his first time with Xiao Xingchen with meticulous care.  This author always delivers, both in terms of excellent porn and in terms of characterization, and this is no exception. 

life’s illusions I recall by Sour_Idealist (@souridealist). The basics of this fic is just “outdoor sex at a river” and it is delicious for that, but what I love about it in particular is this author’s Xue Yang voice. It’s always good (they are the genius behind the incredible Jiang Yanli/Xue Yang fic - no, really), and this is a fic I come back to a lot for that reason. I also love the tag “two characters experiencing two very different fics” which feels like a very apt description for the XueXiao dynamic, generally speaking.

Selenographia by lightningwaltz. A lovely, short-ish fic about the Yi City years. I don’t feel like I have a good description for this one - it’s just one of those beautiful character/moment portrait pieces, very well done.

Stories from A Lonely City by blackwatervial. A series of snapshots/vignettes from the three years in Yi City. Sweetness, bittersweetness, and of course, ultimately, a sad end. This was one of the first Yi City fics I read.

yi city depression hours by glueskin (series). Just. You know. Some feelings. There’s two fics in this one, both short character study type fics making me feel feelings.

a bird caught in this winter blizzard by cherriru. I do love a good grief/mourning fic, especially featuring someone realizing slowly the sheer miserable depths of their fuck-up. Aka, Xue Yang after Xiao Xingchen’s death. It’s just sad. 

all I ever knew of love by Sour_Idealist (@souridealist). See what I said above about the Xue Yang voice and this author; this one also featuring blistering hot porn (first time), a little light praise kink, and huddling for warmth as an excuse for sex. It’s a perfect blend of filth and tenderness and I love it.

revelations wallet wood burn art by Sectionladvivi. This one describes itself in the summary as “grim pwp” and yeah, that fits (and also! is such a XueXiao vibe, whoop whoop); it’s based off the simple premise of ‘Xue Yang tells Xiao Xingchen who he is, in the middle of sex.’ Honestly, one of my favorite things about this fic is the ending, which is horrifying in the best possible way.

Your Heart Inside My Hands by williamshooketh (@ectoplasm-james). This fic is fabulously made for me in the specific subgenre of “Xue Yang thinks he knows what he is getting into when having sex with Xiao Xingchen and, it turns out, does not.” This one featuring some of my favorite things including praise kink and Xue Yang getting extremely fucked up by someone being very nice to him.

Sleep Until the Sun Goes Down by spockandawe (@spockandawe). Love me some Xiao Xingchen seducing Xue Yang with candy. First time fic, second person POV, absolutely delightful.

pass the time by short_tandem_repeats (@yiling). A-Qing and Xue Yang bonding hours. I am actually such a sucker for their weird relationship (I don’t poke at it enough in my own stuff, should work on that) and the way they recognize each other in ways that Xiao Xingchen doesn’t, and also a-Qing having to reckon with the ways in which she’s more like Xue Yang than like Xiao Xingchen. Just a very good fic with a delightful a-Qing.

Three Springs by Verbana. Just a really excellent Xiao Xingchen POV of the three years in Yi City and a developing relationship between Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang. Beautifully written, a lovely escalation, and I’m absolutely delighted by the gentle loneliness of the Xiao Xingchen POV here.

Red Azalea by CeNedraRiva (@cenedrariva) (WIP). A longfic in progress following the continuing adventures of the Yi City Crew after Xiao Xingchen survives his suicide attempt and Xue Yang reconsiders some life choices. Recently got tag-updated to SongXueXiao which has me absolutely thrilled. Updates every Wednesday.

ephemeral by im_krying (WIP). Xue Yang, traveling around wearing Xiao Xingchen’s face, decides it is time to go looking for the last remaining part of Xiao Xingchen that he doesn’t already possess. That is to say, the eyes in Song Lan’s head. I’m really curious where this is going - it smells up my alley at this point though it’s been a bit since the last update. 

Heaven Has a Road But No One Walks It by Silvestris (@silvysartfulness) (WIP). Things I love: beating on Xue Yang, SongXueXiao, terrible road trips, fix-its where there’s a lot of suffering involved. Things this fic has: all of the above. I’m in love.

MODERN AU

(There are other recs to this one but for various reasons (pwp reasons) triggered my self-consciousness slightly too much to put on this post. Go check my bookmarks, you’ll find stuff there.

Most of these are PWP to greater or lesser extents (Rewritten and Misalignment are, I’d say, the exceptions); all very hot and fantastically written.)

circling like vultures by brawlite (@brawlite) (series). Truly quality porn, featuring mostly Xue Yang/Song Lan both pining for Xiao Xingchen, which is a thing that it turns out I really like. The sex is rough and mean and I’m really into it. (Okay, mostly the sex in the first one is mean, the second one is actually XueYao, and the third one is actually verging on nice. Wow! Growth. Anyway, it’s all very good and very My Scene.

Rewritten by incendir (series). This series is like. Everything I want from a modern AU and that was true even before the most recent fic gifted me a beat up Xue Yang suffering, so you know. I don’t have a good summary for this series other than that it’s basically a married Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen adopting Xue Yang as a third partner and it’s just. So well done, such good writing, such good characterization, I would read 20,000 more words of this and probably still be hungry.

catalyst by Ajaxthegreat. If there is a porny fic I’ve reread more than this one, I’m not sure what it would be. I’ve reread this one a lot. It’s very good. It’s very hot. I’m trying not to be self-conscious. SongXueXiao first time rough sex and boy is it tasty.

biting the bullet by Sectionladvivi. Xiao Xingchen doesn’t want to have to choose between his two boyfriends and so he doesn’t. Sectionladvivi in general writes some very sexy modern au PWP (including a few different Xue Yang/Lan Wangji fics which...didn’t see that one coming! But it works when they do it), so general rec for author but this one (as, you know, SongXueXiao porn), is one of my favorites, probably. 

sxx configurations by rynleaf (series). This is a SongXueXiao series on AO3 based off of @kevinkevinson‘s modern reincarnation AU and I am in love with both the art for that AU (go look!) and these fics, they’re so good, I’ve reread several times. 

Misalignment by Kasasagi (WIP). The one with a reincarnated Xue Yang and a Xiao Xingchen who arrives in the modern world from the past, fresh off his suicide.

And Once Again, if I’m Allowed to Rec My Own Fic

a kindness you can’t afford. Early days in Yi City after Xue Yang wakes up.

lick your exit wounds. I wanted canonverse-era bottom Xue Yang praise kink, so I wrote it for myself in the hopes others would also find this an interesting prospect.

this place could be beautiful. Xue Yang vs. domestic living.

tear out all your tenderness. Xue Yang gets turned on by murder and makes it a project to get Xiao Xingchen to lose control.

the beauty of your repair. PWP, modern AU SongXueXiao; there’s not an inkling of plot here, it’s really just an excuse to get Xue Yang wrecked, but nicely.

[another-rogue-trevelyan]

If you liked Dragon Age Masterlist

If you’re anything like me, you’re into niche market, high fantasy, single player RPGs, preferably with a historical setting and romance options. So if you’re looking for a new game, here I am with some suggestions!

Sorted by studio:

Bethesda:

Oblivion (2006)

“In the shadow of evil, a hero will rise from the ashes of a fallen empire. The gates have been opened, and the battle has begun. Only one thing can save the world from Mehrunes Dagon and the demonic hordes of Oblivion. The true heir of the Septim line must be found and restored to the Imperial throne. The fate of the world rests in the hands of one. Find him, and shut the jaws of Oblivion.”

The Elder Scrolls series were my gateway into RPGs and hold a special place in my heart. Oblivion features a wide open world, immersive combat, and the ability to customize race, class, and gender.

Skyrim (2011)

“The Empire of Tamriel is on the edge. The High King of Skyrim has been murdered. Alliances form as claims to the throne are made. In the midst of this conflict, a far more dangerous, ancient evil is awakened. Dragons, long lost to the passages of the Elder Scrolls, have returned to Tamriel. The future of Skyrim, even the Empire itself, hangs in the balance as they wait for the prophesized Dragonborn to come; a hero born with the power of The Voice, and the only one who can stand amongst the dragons.”

I have sunk so many hours into this game and still have not experienced all there is to experience. Just like Oblivion, Skyrim offers the ability to customize your character and find a play style that suits you. A huge open world offers tons of opportunity for exploration and questing. You could play this game many, many hours and not even touch the main quest if you wanted to.

BioWare:

Mass Effect Legendary Edition (2021)

Just do it. Just fucking do it I’m still sobbing I’ve never had a game wreck me in this way. I might possibly like it more than Dragon Age which feels sacrilegious to say but it was so good. You follow Commander Shepard (customizable) for three whole games and the choices have serious consequences. Also, romance. Truthfully this might be the most well written storyline I’ve ever seen in a video game. Also, same studio as Dragon Age.

CD Projekt:

The Witcher III: Wild Hunt (2015)

I’ll let the website description speak for itself, but Witcher III was good enough that I didn’t mind being forced to play as a man (those who know me know that I exclusively prefer to play women and often dislike games where I can’t do so)! The characters that make up this story are captivating and suck you into their world, leaving you with some tough choices to make. Also, bonus points for romance! (Yen is one of my all time favorite characters, Triss never stood a chance for me. Sorry Triss fans 😂)

Larian:

Divinity Original Sin 2 (2017)

“The Divine is dead. The Void approaches. And the powers lying dormant within you are soon to awaken. Choose your role in a BAFTA-winning story, and explore a world that reacts to who you are, and the choices you make. With five races to choose from, and an adventure playable solo or as a party of up to four, lay waste to an oppressive order in a world afraid of magic. Become the God the world so desperately needs.”

Full disclosure, I have not finished playing this one yet and will update when I do, but what I’ve played so far has been great! A classic, turn-based RPG that allows you a wide range of character customization. I find this game incredibly satisfying to be a rogue (my preferred class) because it lets me live my dream of throwing knives at people. Also, romance!

Baldur’s Gate III beta (2020)

“An ancient evil has returned to Baldur's Gate, intent on devouring it from the inside out. The fate of Faerûn lies in your hands. Alone, you may resist. But together, you can overcome. Gather your party.”

Fair warning, as of my most recent update to this post (March 30th, 2021) this game is still in a beta phase, which means it is NOT complete and has aspects that are missing, glitchy, or subject to change. With that being said, I’m so obsessed. It’s so, so good already and is only getting better. Another wide open world to explore with a group of companions with strong and sometimes clashing personalities, choices are abundant in this game and will affect how your party members think of you. This game so far gives me the feeling that choices are complicated and aren’t always easy to tell which is morally right, which I personally love. Also, I can be a sarcastic ass with a good heart, which is always fun. Astarion basically owns me now, but if you can resist him there are plentiful other romance choices as well! Customization is already a wider range than I’ve seen in most RPGs and they haven’t even finished the character creator yet, which has me SO excited for the finished product. Also - good hair?!??!! I love it!

Lionhead:

Fable III (2010)

“Lead a revolution to take control of Albion, fight alongside your people, and experience love and loss while preparing to defend the kingdom against a looming threat. Your choices as ruler will lead to consequences felt across the entire land.”

I’ll be honest, this one isn’t my favorite on the list, but was good enough to still make it! This game allows you to choose between playing as the prince or the princess on a quest to save your kingdom from itself, and then a greater threat as well. The game takes place in a kingdom loosely modeled after industrial England, and what did score it some major points were (SPOILER WARNING - skip the purple if you don’t want to know!) that the last act of the game lets you play as the monarch, where you are forced to make some tough decisions in order to save your kingdom. It is very easy to back yourself into a corner, pinch pennies in order to fund the army and save the kingdom, but make your citizens hate you because of it. You’re gonna have to be very, very careful, which is something I did really enjoy about this game. (I’ve heard Fable II was better, and that’s also on my list to try, will update in the future!)

Nintendo:

Fire Emblem Three Houses (2019)

“War is coming to the continent of Fódlan. Here, order is maintained by the Church of Seiros, which hosts the prestigious Officer’s Academy within its headquarters. You are invited to teach one of its three mighty houses, each comprised of students brimming with personality and represented by a royal from one of three territories. As their professor, you must lead your students in their academic lives and in turn-based, tactical RPG battles wrought with strategic, new twists to overcome. Which house, and which path, will you choose?”

Currently playing this one and I’m so addicted! This one is slightly outside of my usual taste but it has made me interested in playing more games like it. The player controls Byleth (you can rename them if you wish), who becomes a professor of combat and battle tactics despite their young age at a monastery and finds themself in charge of a house of students. Battles are tactics and strategy based and classes are highly customizable. I sunk like 30 hours into this game in the last three days. I won’t say more about the plot to avoid spoilers, but it’s been a ton of fun and also has slow burn romance

Spiders:

Greedfall (2019)

This game destroyed my soul in the best way and when I finished it I immediately started a new game to play it again. You play as Lady or Lord De Sardet, Legate of the Congregation of Merchants and effectively the right hand of your cousin, who has been appointed governor of your new colony on the island. While I enjoy the combat in this game, which allows you the choice between one handed, two handed, magic, and pistols or rifles (save that ammo for when you really need it!), this game focuses heavily on diplomacy and relations. Be careful what information you give to whom and how you treat every decision. The enemies you make early on might be people you need on your side later. I also love that choices aren’t always clearly right or wrong, and often are more complicated than they first appear. Even the best intentions can sometimes go awry.

Ubisoft:

Assassin’s Creed, Syndicate (2015)

“London, 1868. In the heart of the Industrial Revolution, lead your underworld organization and grow your influence to fight those who exploit the less privileged in the name of progress”

Another one that I’ll admit, I haven’t finished, and is definitely the odd one out on the list because it’s set in Victorian England, but I was having fun with what I had played so far before Greedfall distracted me. In this game, you alternate between controlling twins Jacob and Evie Frye as you explore and liberate London while meeting famous historical figures and running a gang on the side.

Assassin’s Creed, Origins (2017)

“Ancient Egypt, a land of majesty and intrigue, is disappearing in a ruthless fight for power. Unveil dark secrets and forgotten myths as you go back to the one founding moment: The Origins of the Assassin’s Brotherhood.”

In the spirit of honesty, I haven’t started this one yet, but I am so confident that I’m gonna love it when I do that it’s here anyway. I’ve purchased it, and will get to it soon, I swear! In the meantime, I wanted to put it here because I’m confident some of you will enjoy it. Will come back with a review once I know more.

Assassin’s Creed, Odyssey (2018)

“Write your own epic odyssey and become a legendary Spartan hero in Assassin’s Creed® Odyssey, an inspiring adventure where you must forge your destiny and define your own path in a world on the brink of tearing itself apart. Influence how history unfolds as you experience a rich and ever-changing world shaped by your decisions.”

Y’all this game owned my soul for a while. I’ve sunk so many hours into it. You have a choice to play as either Kassandra or Alexios and navigate the wonders of Ancient Greece. The world is stunning, the choices are important, and this game took a big step for the assassins creed series in becoming a true RPG. I can’t recommend this one enough, you should absolutely go for it!

Assassin’s Creed, Valhalla (2020)

“Become Eivor, a legendary Viking warrior. Explore England's Dark Ages as you raid your enemies, grow your settlement, and build your political power in the quest to earn a place among the gods in Valhalla.”

This game is brand new, hot off the press, and has already been a massive hit. I have only JUST started playing it and am about an hour in, but so far so good! It’s here on my recommendations list because of its wild popularity and because I’ve already enjoyed other games in this series, so I feel confident that some of my fellow dragon age fans will enjoy it. Will update again once I get further in.

Other games on my To Be Played list (otherwise known as things I don’t want to recommend because I know almost nothing about them but will update here after I know more)

-Pillars of Eternity 1 and 2

-Horizon Zero Dawn

-Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag

-Fable 1 and 2

-Kingdoms of Amalur

-Breath of the Wild

-Crimson Desert (not out yet but I’m intrigued)

[ryttu3k]

Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

[adamarinayu]

Can you tell us more about your author au, back in action au, and Notre duck au? Sorry if I'm asking for a lot but I just saw them on your AU list and they caught my interest 😅

Haha sure! I haven’t worked on any of them in a while but here we go! It’s a bit long, especially the Back in Action section....

In the Author AU, Donald is an author who works under a pseudonym, so that he and the triplets can have some normalcy in life while also being able to support them comfortably. He’s the author of a best selling series, which is the Paperinik series (maybe in this AU it’ll be called Duck Avenger, idk). 

He began writing the PK stories during highschool, and they were published as shorts regularly in a small magazine. Of course, being a teenager, it began as a fantasy- it was how he vented his frustrations. Gladstone, of course, figured it out, as did Della, but Scrooge had no interest so no one else outside of Donald’s closest circle (that is to say, Mickey, Minnie, Daisy and Goofy) knew. It soon grew to be a hero story, rather than a story about vengeance. At this point there are no nephews in the story.

After highschool, his story got picked up by a publishing company and Uno was his agent. He ended up including the character ONE based off of Uno, which Uno is equal parts amused and exasperated by (”Honestly, I thought you said you wanted to be anonymous.”). The two don’t officially become friends, however, until a couple of years later, when Della went missing. Donald had taken a surprisingly dark turn in the story which would have resulted in killing off the main characters, at which point Uno decided to intervene and talk to him. With Uno’s support and growing friendship Donald rewrote the story, keeping the darker tone but ending it on a higher note with all the characters alive and happy.

Donald also gave PK a family of his own, having him be a single father to three children (hinted heavily at them being adopted, after PK saved them as eggs), a decision which forever changed the direction of the books from being about a duck who fights because it’s all he’s good for, to being about a duck who fights because he has something worth fighting for. He and Uno obviously become very close over this time.

Gladstone reads every book that comes out. He always wins a free edition but insists on buying it, as his way of helping Donald out. He uses the tone of each book and the events that happen in them to determine whether or not he needs to come and kick a little sense into Donald.

Donald ultimately concludes the book series after Della comes back, with the story having a happy ending all around. Which definitely includes ONE getting a physical body and joining the family. Unsurprisingly he and Uno get married. Scrooge and the kids find out he’s the author of PK after Scrooge announces his studio bought the movie rights to the film lol. Della and Gladstone are just like “wow seriously, you guys didn’t see the writing clear on the wall?”

--

The Back in Action AU is basically, PK was a TV show and Donald was the titular character, PK. His co-star was Uno, who lent his voice and face to the character ONE (the names of all the characters in PK are changed, ofc, their real names are the actors’ names now, except for Uno and Xadhoom). The entire cast (yes, including Angus Fangus) were a pretty tight-knit family, of a sort. So while Della and Scrooge were adventuring (as he had left the adventure life behind, feeling as if he wasn’t contributing or seen as an equal among the group) he became part of a family of his own. Daisy also played PK’s love interest, though the two of them are actually more like Best Pals. They went to highschool together so. Daisy wasn’t in the main cast and was just a recurring character, as she had a main role in another series.

The triplets in PK were just babies, but PK wasn’t their primary caretaker. They were more like background characters, but occasionally PK would get roped into babysitting them and having to balance watching the children and saving the world because “oh god even if I stop the Evronian invasion if any of their feathers get singed my sister will kill me!” (Note, PK’s sister was only seen in photos and was a blonde, like in the original comics. You can hear her voice now and then though)

Donald was close with everyone (oh the bloopers he and Angus had.... and of course the Evronians, something ALWAYS went wrong with their costumes!) but Uno became his best friend (and his almost-more). The series was the most popular thing on TV for a while, and Gladstone and Fethry were so proud of their brother cousin and so sad that Scrooge and Della were missing the best moments of his life. Gladstone and Fethry are much more involved in Donald’s life than Della and Scrooge are in this AU. That isn’t to say they don’t all love each other very much, it’s just Della and Scrooge’s interests laid elsewhere.

Anyway, every series hits its end, and more often than not it comes much faster than planned. PK ended a whole season sooner than expected, due to the sudden buyout of their studio and the new owners choosing to shut PK down in favour of one of their own shows (couldn’t afford both at the same time, and their own show had a smaller budget). So the series ended on the cliffhanger of PK losing ONE and (Lyla’s character), the Evronians being defeated and PK choosing to hang up his cape because of just how much that final battle cost him. It was an ending that angered many people, extremely upsetting especially knowing that it hadn’t been the planned ending of the series.

The entire cast and crew split up, most still staying in acting but a few leaving. Donald went back to adventuring with Scrooge and Della while Uno went back to Italy with his brothers (Due and Tre, the former of which played a major part in 2-3 episodes) to work in their father’s lab. They ended up falling out of contact (not by their own choice, just due to the nature of their jobs). Then a few years later Della went missing and Donald was left caring for her three children- it was a bit ironic, perhaps.

In the 10-12 years Donald was taking care of them, a “sequel” movie and a spinoff came to be with different actors and stories, but neither were well received because they lacked the “spirit” and charm of the original series. Especially the spinoff, which was animated in a very Saturday-morning style.

The triplets don’t really know about the OG PK, only knowing it by the spinoff, or that their uncle used to be a big name actor. However, 10 or so years later it’s announced that PK is coming back.... with the original writers and actors (except for the kids). Including Donald Fauntleroy Duck, the actor who played the titular PK. They are shook.

The original children who played PK’s nephews were unavailable (”We were like 2 during all that, we really don’t care”) and, besides that, had already aged out of the roles (the comeback was a Ten Years Later kind of deal, and it had been more like 14 or 15 since the end of the show, so the original kids were already mid-late teens. Therefore, when the director discovered Donald was now caring for his three nephews (convenient that there were three) he suggested they play the role of the triplets. Donald left it up to the triplets, under the stipulation that they would have minor roles (as the triplets always did) and this wouldn’t interfere with school.

They actually made a whole new role for Webby in the show! Because the triplets agreed on the condition that Webby gets to join them. And that’s how Webby began to play the triplets’ younger sister. The director decided to take a page out of Donald’s real life and wrote PK’s sister out (this was also partially because the actress had died) so PK was now being a full-time father to his kids who had no idea who he really was.

But then Donald finds out that not only is Lyla there, not only is Angus there... so is Uno. Uno and both of his brothers. It’s quite a reunion. And of course everyone expects Donald’s most emotional reunion to be with Daisy, but no. It’s Uno. And Uno is the one he ends up on the front of a magazine with lol.

Also yeah they get married :3

Man I think I may have overspoke about this one XD But I really enjoy this one what can I say jkkghfdsjlk

--

Notre Duck!! That’s another one I enjoy though it isn’t as in-depth as the last. So basically Everett came to Earth, and it’s kinda like.... a Duck version of medieval times. He came here for inspiration, then ended up building Uno, who became like a son to him. However, when other flesh-and-blood ducks realized he was an android, they became fearful and called him a monster, and tried to attack and run him out of town.

After that, Everett hid him away in a tower attached to a church, where no one but the church staff would go. He didn’t want to lose his android son. But Uno watches the world below his tower change, dreaming of a day when he could go out there too.

One day he meets Donald, who is a street performer with an association to Scrooge McDuck, a king in a neighboring kingdom. Donald finds out very quickly that he is an android and doesn’t judge him for it, instead encouraging him to leave the tower because “life is about the adventure.” This, of course, does not sit well with Everett, who forbids Uno from leaving the tower or seeing Donald.

Donald is wanted by the lord of the city, who wants to use him against Scrooge (and earn favour with his own king). There’s no creepy old men lusting after young women and no slurs being used casually so.

Also anyway this actually spawned from me imagining Uno to the song Out There so yeah.

[tigerkirby215]

I’m a particular fan of wasting my time so I decided to rate all the Half-Feats for no real reason

(Artwork from the Acquisitions Incorporated 5th Edition sourcebook, because I can’t just use artwork from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything.)

If you have been around my blog for any lengthy period of time you will know two things about me.

I often fall into flights of fancy mostly under the guise of attempting to branch out with this blog, even though the real reason is that I wish to publicize any and all work I do for this hobby.

I really like half-feats.

And who could blame me (at least for the second point.) It’s always exciting when you can get a feat, and half-feats allow you to round out a stat of your choice while still allowing you to diversify your character with unique abilities to make them your own. Feats are always strong and even the most basic half-feat still provides you with unique traits to differentiate yourself from the standard adventurer. But it can be hard to choose when they are all so diverse which is why I’m making this list for myself and anyone who may find it useful.

I would also like to thank LudicSavant from the Giant in the Playground forums for their organized list of Half-Feats. It has made the creation of this list far easier and I frequently reference it when making builds.

WHAT IS A HALF-FEAT?

For the sake of understanding (because the last time I used the term “half-feat” on Reddit a lot of people got confused) I will define a half-feat here: A half-feat is any feat that gives half of an ability score improvement (+1 to a given stat) along with its regular features. They are obviously good choices for any player with an uneven stat, as they can make that stat even (for the increase in ability modifier) while also gaining an additional bonus.

HOW IS THIS LIST ORGANIZED

This post is split into 6 sections, one for each stat. (Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma.) The feats are organized in alphabetical order. Basically I’m lifting the formatting from LudicSavant.

Each feat will be shown as follows:

FEAT NAME

Description

Summary

Rating

Feats that can be applied to varied ability scores will be mentioned multiple times, however unless the feat changes based on the ability score chosen the entry will simply be shown as a redirect to where it was summarized earlier.

And I guess it also has to be said: This list is just my opinion and is in no way an objective ranking of the half-feats that currently exist in D&D 5th Edition. Feel free to make your own decisions when designing your character: this post is merely meant to share my opinion and provide a reference resource for people making characters.

(Artwork still from the Acquisitions Incorporated 5th Edition sourcebook. Damn this book has some nice artwork.)

STRENGTH

Athlete

Grants you the ability to stand up from prone faster, climb more easily, and jump further.

You’d think with the amount of builds I’ve included this feat in I’d have more positive things to say about it. But no: this feat is trash. Climbing is rare and jumping is pretty much never used in D&D. Even if it was there are low level spells (Spider Climb / Jump) that allow you to do what this feat does.

The only really useful addition to this feat is the faster speed to get up from the prone position. Being prone sucks and it can heavily restrict your movement when it happens. Putting yourself prone is also helpful in a ranged build to give enemies disadvantage to hit you from range. (You can technically knock yourself prone after attacking to make it harder to hit you.) But this strategy loses effectiveness quickly and it isn’t worth taking a feat to combat the rare possibility of being knocked off your feet.

Ultimately if you genuinely see any of the features of the Athlete feat as being useful chances are that either your DM forces way too much jumping / climbing, really likes knocking people over, or you really like knocking yourself prone.

2/10

Crusher

Grants extra utility to bludgeoning weapons, allowing you to move foes into more favorable positions.

RIP in piss Monks am I right lads? To be fair there aren’t any Finesse Bludgeoning Weapons with the only exception being the Sling. But regardless: this feat has two features along with its Ability Score Improvement:

The pushing ability is situational at best. Displacement abilities in 5th edition rarely have a significant impact. You may push an enemy off a cliff on occasion but unless your DM makes a significant effort to present these opportunities to you it won’t come up often. There is some niche use for this feat to work as a poor man’s Mobile feat, as you can push a foe back 5 feet before running away without needing to disengage.

But perhaps the biggest problem with the displacement ability of Crusher is that Shield Master does everything it does almost objectively better, all while providing additional benefits to Dexterity saving throws. Shield Master isn’t a half-feat, granted. But one could get one of the better +1 feats to STR / CON along with Shield Master.

The effect on a crit is incredibly potent. Giving all allies advantage to hit a foe will lead to more damage being dealt and an even higher chance to crit. However relying on crits usually isn’t a smart idea, and crits are already deadly enough without a feat to boost them.

7/10

Dragon Fear

DRAGONBORN EXCLUSIVE FEAT

Allows you to roar with your Breath Weapon ability, frightening nearby enemies.

This feat singlehandedly makes Dragonborn viable. I’m not even joking: being able to replace your CON based, low damage Burning Hands-lite with essentially the Fear spell which comes back on a Short Rest and is based on Charisma is insanely useful for any Charisma character. The most obvious use is for the Charisma casters: Bards and Sorcerers can get an extreme amount of value from this feature. But other Charisma classes like Paladins, Swashbuckler Rogues, and any other class that requires Charisma can use it well. Warlocks get a little less use out of it than most since their abilities already come back on a Short Rest but it’s still nice to have in your pocket.

It’s less useful for non-Charisma classes but it can’t be flawless. But it removes the problem of choosing between a subpar AoE damage ability or just attacking with your weapons / spells, and instead gives you a utility ability to give yourself space. It doesn’t scale well late when most enemies resist fears, but neither did your breath weapon. Especially with the Dragonborn subraces from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount this feat is extremely good.

I mean, you could just play a Leonin and get the fear without investing in a feat, especially since Tasha’s lets you move ability scores around. But Dragonborn have more fun roleplay and other abilities that the Leonin lack.

10/10

Dragon Hide

DRAGONBORN EXCLUSIVE FEAT

Your AC is equal to 13 + DEX and your unarmed strikes do a d4 + STR damage.

The Mage Armor feat / the worse Tavern Brawler feat. What confuses me about this feat is how at-odds it is with itself. On one hand your AC is still based on DEX but on the other hand your natural weapon is based on STR?

Let’s just ignore the Unarmed Strike damage because let’s be real here: you can just pick up a dagger instead of slashing people with your dragon claws. Is Mage Armor really worth losing half of a feat? If you have nothing better maybe, but this list alone shows that there are better options. There are some very specific niche scenarios where Unarmored Defense is more valuable than actual armor but those scenarios are usually campaign-specific or a choice done more for roleplay, and you could just as easily accomplish the roleplay by taking the Magic Initiate feat to get Mage Armor along with two useful cantrips.

Honestly this should’ve just been added as a base feature for the Dragonborn, and most DMs I know give this feat to Dragonborn at level 1. (Minus the half feat ASI.) Lizardfolk have innate AC, crafting skills, and a healing bite; Dragonborn should get innate AC, damage resistance, and a crappy breath weapon that can be upgraded by the Dragon Fear feat.

3/10

Heavily Armored

Gain proficiency with heavy armor.

The vast majority of classes that are expected to wear Heavy Armor have Heavy Armor Proficiency. In fact the only Martial class that doesn’t have Heavy Armor proficiency (minus Barbarians and Monks who can’t wear Heavy Armor) is the Ranger, so this feat is good if you want to play a Ranger like a Paladin. Huhn. Ironic that I am playing a Horizon Walker Ranger like a Paladin in one of the campaigns I’m in.

(Artwork by Bo “chenbowow” Chen. Made for Riot Games.)

Like, you can grab this feat for Clerics and Druids I guess, but why would you? Medium Armor is on-par with Heavy Armor, and 14 DEX is far more useful than the 15 STR required to wear Platemail.

The only other two (well technically three) subclasses I can think of which could grab this feat are the Hexblade Warlock and the two Martial Bards. (College of Swords / College of Valor.) For Hexblade... why do you need Strength? You can swing your sword with Charisma. Bard however... I guess if you want to play a Strength Bard it’s an option?

But yeah: the only time I ever used this feat was to play a Ranger like a Paladin. And saying “I used this feat to play one of the worst classes in the game like a better class” isn’t exactly an accomplishment.

1/10

Heavy Armor Master

While wearing heavy armor, bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage that you take from nonmagical weapons is reduced by 3.

The word that kills this feat is “nonmagical.” I can tell you as a fact having had a Fighter use this feat in a level 1 - 5 campaign that it is TORTURE for any DM. “Oh boy I finally hit the 20 AC Fighter annnnd I did 5 total damage, even though I rolled max damage.”

But this feat literally becomes useless past level 8 or so when enemies start getting magical weapons. There are a few enemies that still technically do nonmagical damage at high levels, but even then this feat isn’t going to save you from foes that are normally doing upwards of 15 damage per swing. It adds up yes, but it’ll rarely add up in my personal experience.

Take this feat on a Variant Human at level 1 if you’re doing a level 3 one shot, just to be an asshole.

2/10

Lightly Armored

Gain proficiency with light armor.

?????

Mage Armor exists. The only classes in the game that don’t get proficiency with at least Light Armor are Sorcerer and Wizard. You can afford to lose a spell slot for Mage Armor. Seriously.

1/10

Moderately Armored

Gain proficiency with medium armor.

The best of the “armored” feats because (hot take time) Medium Armor is the best armor in the game. It requires the least investment which makes it the most easily accessible armor in the game. If you have a 13 in DEX I’d highly recommend grabbing this feat. If your DEX is at a 16 (+3) or higher I’d honestly maybe just recommend Light Armor / Mage Armor instead?

8/10

Orcish Fury

HALF-ORC EXCLUSIVE FEAT

Get the ability to choose to roll an additional damage die once per short rest. Additionally, you can use your Reaction to make a weapon attack after being knocked down to 1 HP via your racial trait once per short rest.

Anyone find it amusing that this feat is only available to Half-Orcs but not full Orcs? Anyways: having the ability to essentially crit on-demand is nice. Having the reactionary attack after being knocked to 1 HP is situational, but still alright. I think if I was playing a Half-Orc and I needed to round out either my Strength or my Constitution (more likely my CON since there are far better feats for STR) I wouldn’t be upset taking this. Is it worth playing a Half-Orc just for this feat? Not by a long shot lol.

6/10

Piercer

When you deal damage with a piercing weapon you can reroll one of the damage die on one attack per turn. When you crit you can roll an additional damage die.

Savage Attacker as a half feat, proving that Savage Attacker is a bad feat lol. I’m actually going to talk more about this feat when I go into the Dexterity section which makes this the first feat where I’ll actually rank it lower for a specific Ability Score.

3/10 (if using STR)

Resilient (STR)

Gain proficiency with Strength saving throws.

Strength saves are common and pretty bad, but not as bad as Wisdom or Dexterity. What’s more is that most classes that will be forced to make Strength saves have proficiency in Strength saving throws already. If you have an uneven Strength score this isn’t the worst way to round it out, but I’d sooner get a stronger feat for another ability.

3/10

Revenant Blade

Essentially Dual-Wielder for the Double-Bladed Scimitar.

A very specific feat to the Eberron setting, and even though I use Eberron content frequently in my builds I’ll be honest: I know very little about the setting. The DBS honestly just seems worse than uh... wielding two scimitars? 3d4 damage is about on-par with 2d6. This feat is something you take more for roleplay than actual practicality with your character, though I have played with people (outside of Eberron lol) using a double-bladed scimitar and it seems like a cool weapon. Dual Wielder is also a good feat and it seems you can use the DBS without grabbing the Dual Wielding Fighting Style.

5/10

Skill Expert

Learn a skill and gain expertise in a skill.

A very good skill to round out any build. Expertise can actually shape your character quite a lot, as it allows you to be good at things even if your Ability Scores are bad. A good go-to feat to round off any uneven Ability Score if you have nothing better imo.

7/10

Slasher

Slashing weapons lower the speed of the target hit by 10. On a crit the target has disadvantage on all attack rolls until the start of your next turn.

Easily the worst of the weapon damage type feats, which is a shame because I like slashing weapons. The slowdown effect is rarely useful: the only class which I really think can use the slowdown effect well is hit-and-run Rogues, but Slashing weapons are heavily restricted from Rogues for some reason. The crit effect is nice but you shouldn’t be banking on crits, even as a Champion Fighter. This feat at least has a niche if you plan to play a Whip Rogue but that’s about it.

3/10

Squat Nimbleness

Increase your movement speed by 5, gain proficiency with Athletics or Acrobatics, and gain Advantage to escape grapples.

It is actually goddamn hilarious how good this feat is. +5 movement is already nice (especially if you’re playing one of the later-added small races [or a Homebrew race] that has 30 feet of movement) but you also get a free skill proficiency in either of the two most commonly used skills in the game, and to top it off to my knowledge this feat is the only way to gain a bonus to escaping grapples. (Outside of like, the Freedom of Movement spell.)

Take this! Good lord take this! If you have an uneven ability score and are small don’t even hesitate!

10/10

Tavern Brawler

Gain a d4 unarmed strike and proficiency with improvised weapons. After striking a creature with an unarmed strike or improvised weapon on your turn you can grapple them as a bonus action.

This feat will either be the best or worst feat you take depending on your DM. If your DM lives up to the Dead Rising promise of “anything is a weapon” and lets you pick up a stick off the ground and use it as an improvised weapon: congratulations your Wizard now has an infinite supply of short swords!

The grapple after making an improvised or unarmed strike is... interesting. I’ve expressed my distaste for grappling in the past but on its own at lower levels its not the worst option. The main problem is really just that the Grappler feat is bad, but if you want to keep an enemy from running then grabbing them isn’t the worst option!

5/10

Weapon Master

Gain proficiency with 3 weapons.

Just take a single level in Fighter. Honestly upgrading your weapon’s damage die isn’t worth losing the ASI. Even in the most extreme example of upgrading a dagger (d4) to a rapier (d8) you’re only getting +4 damage potential max.

The only application I really think is worth it for this feat is Rogues, because for some stupid reason Rogues don’t get proficiency with either Scimitars or (more importantly) Whips. So if for whatever reason you want to play a Reach Weapon Whip Rogue but still get Stroke of Luck from the 20th level of Rogue then I guess Weapon Master has some use? But you could just as easily grab the Mobile feat to reap similar benefits without being forced to use a d4 weapon.

1/10

DEXTERITY

Athlete

See above.

Elven Accuracy

ELF / HALF-ELF EXCLUSIVE FEAT.

Roll 3 d20s instead of 2 when you have advantage and are attacking with DEX or a spell.

Otherwise known as “why Elf Samurai is secretly overpowered.” If you have a reliable way to get Advantage this feat is absolutely nutty. If not well... It’s still a nice way to round out an uneven Ability Score, and it works with spell attack rolls too which gives it plenty of versatility!

Basically if there’s any semi-consistent chance that you’re going to get advantage I’d take this feat. If not? There are better half feats out there. Really a shame this doesn’t work with STR attacks but I guess they didn’t want Elf Barbarians to be the most overpowered shit in the game.

8/10

Fade Away

GNOME EXCLUSIVE FEAT

Use your reaction to become invisible after taking damage. You remain invisible until the end of your next turn unless you perform an aggressive action.

Invisibility is never a bad thing. This feat gives you what is essentially a stronger version of the Shield spell once per Short Rest since (rules as written) enemies can’t target you if they can’t see you. Now of course a lot of this depends on your DM (how many enemies with Blindsense are around, and if enemies will swing where you just were because metagaming) but this feat is almost exclusively why you should play a Gnome as opposed to something else.

This feat plus Squat Nimbleness is honestly worth losing an ASI for. Fade Away, Squat Nimbleness, and Moderately Armored combined can be three very good feats for a Gnome spellcaster who already has a high casting stat.

9/10

Gunner

Crossbow Expert for guns.

Crossbow Expert for guns. The only part of this feat that affects non-firearms is the lack of disadvantage in melee range which I mean... if you’re not planning to use crossbows it might be useful? But I’d sooner take Piercer, Elven Accuracy, or another more useful feat.

GUN/10 3/10

Lightly Armored

See above.

Piercer

When you deal damage with a piercing weapon you can reroll one of the damage die on one attack per turn. When you crit you can roll an additional damage die.

The first and probably only feat where increasing one Ability Score is far more useful than the other! Let’s start with the obvious: Savage Attacker doesn’t work with ranged weapons, but since all ranged weapons (minus the Sling) do Piercing damage this feat affects them! For most ranged weapons this isn’t that big of a deal but if you’re using one of the ranged weapons with a bigger damage die (Longbow / Heavy Crossbow) it’s still nice to have, especially if you have multiple attacks and will henceforth have a higher chance of rolling low for damage.

The triple damage effect on a crit is also very nice for a ranged weapon, and lets you live out that sharpshooter fantasy. But again banking on crits is unreliable. Overall this feat is a very nice way to increase an uneven Dexterity score and get some benefits for your ranged weapons. It’s not something I’d go out of my way to get but it does feel very good to grab.

7/10 (if using DEX)

Moderately Armored

See above. Slightly better when increasing DEX because DEX is more universally useful than STR.

Resilient (DEX)

Gain proficiency with Dexterity saving throws.

Dexterity saving throws are some of the most common saving throws in 5e. Being able to halve the damage of a Fireball is always worth it.

9/10

Revenant Blade

See above.

Second Chance

HALFLING EXCLUSIVE FEAT

Force an enemy that’s attacking you to reroll their attack once per combat.

This feat interests me because (to my knowledge) it’s the only feat that replenishes when you “roll initiative at the start of combat.” But regardless: being able to force an enemy to reroll a hit on you is really nice, but mind you that there is the chance to turn a regular hit into a crit.

If your class already has reactions this really isn’t worth it. But if you’re playing something like a Fighter this can be a nice way to shrug off a hit or two over the course of the day. A good way to round out your stats and give yourself some safety, but not something I’d go out of the way to get.

7/10

Squat Nimbleness

See above.

Skill Expert

See above.

Slasher

See above.

Weapon Master

See above.

CONSTITUTION

Aberrant Dragonmark

Get one Sorcerer cantrip and one level 1 Sorcerer spell. Constitution is your spellcasting modifier for these spells. Additional effects when you cast your level 1 spell.

Veterans of this blog will know how much I love Aberrant Dragonmark. If you’re taking Magic Initiate to have a ranged attack then Aberrant Dragonmark is pretty much just universally better than Magic Initiate. The only real flaw with this feat is that you can only take from the Sorcerer list... oh and that it’s very Eberron specific. It’s unlikely that you’ll be allowed this feat, but I would recommend it for just about anyone who needs a ranged backup. Constitution becomes a lot more exciting when it’s used for more than just health.

8/10

Chef

Allies heal more during short rests. Prepare treats allies can use to gain Temporary hitpoints as a Bonus Action.

Song of Rest? Never heard of her! A fairly mediocre feat on its own, though admittedly fun for roleplay. The treats are actually not that bad to give allies a tiny bit of bulk. The definitely-not-Song of Rest feature is also good in its own right.

It’s a nice way to round out your Constitution or Wisdom if it’s uneven, and is very fun for roleplay. But it’s not the most impressive in terms of utility.

6/10

Crusher

See above.

Dragon Fear

See above.

Dragon Hide

See above.

Durable

Add double your Constitution modifier to rolled hit die while Short Resting.

I mean, it’s nice? But the only real use I see for this is for a Barbarian. It can definitely allow you save up on your hit die but unless you have a 13 in CON (14 with this feat) I wouldn’t recommend it. I’d much rather not take the damage in the first place: an ounce of prevention beats a cure!

5/10

Dwarven Fortitude

DWARF EXCLUSIVE FEAT

When you take the Dodge action you can heal with a hit die.

Otherwise known as “Dwarf Monks are super legit for no good reason.” It’s a very interesting feat that allows you to tank in interesting ways, and it’s particularly good if you know your DM doesn’t let you frequently short rest. It can be nice to heal in a pinch, but much like with Durable I’d rather negate the damage than heal with hit die.

And if your DM allows frequent short rests? This feat is objectively worse than Durable, since it doesn’t really matter when you heal with hit die.

5/10

Infernal Constitution

TIEFLING EXCLUSIVE FEAT

Resist Cold and Poison damage, and gain Advantage on saving throws against Poisons.

You already resist Fire damage, which is extremely common. This feat adds two more common damage types to that list, and also helps you against a common debuff. This is just a very good way to give your character more bulk! Of course if you aren’t fighting a lot of poisonous or cold enemies this feat won’t be too practical, but in a standard campaign with varied foes this will quickly carry its weight!

7/10

Orcish Fury

See above.

Resilient (CON)

Gain proficiency with Constitution saving throws.

Constitution saves are extremely common, most notably for Concentration checks. Other people have done the math that Resilient scales better than War Caster to help with Concentration checks. This feat is a must-have for spellcasters, and very good all-around.

10/10

Second Chance

See above.

Skill Expert

See above.

Tavern Brawler

See above.

INTELLIGENCE

Elven Accuracy

See above.

Fade Away

See above.

Fey Teleportation

HIGH ELF EXCLUSIVE FEAT

Learn Sylvan. Cast Misty Step once per Short Rest.

Otherwise known as LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON TO PLAY A HIGH ELF. Holy shit if you’re playing a High Elf take this feat! A free language is nice and all but Misty Step is one of the most useful utility spells in the game, and you have near-constant access to it!

10/10

Fey Touched

Learn Misty Step and one additional first level spell from the Enchantment or Divination schools. You can cast both of these spells once without using a spell slot.

Misty Step is one of the strongest spells in the game: if your class doesn’t normally get it I’d definitely recommend Fey Touched just to get Misty Step. Being able to grab strong first level Enchantment and Divination spells like Hex, Hunter’s Mark, Bless, Heroism, and Detect Magic are also very useful.

9/10

Flames of Phlegethos

Reroll 1s when dealing Fire damage. Surround yourself in Fire when casting a Fire damage spell.

Otherwise known as “Elemental Adept lite.” Only really useful if you’re planning to consistently be in close range, but very fun and flavorful if you are casting fire up close.

I honestly wish this feat wasn’t Tiefling exclusive because it’s cool as shit but so situational: I’d love to see a version of this feat that’s damage type exclusive and race exclusive. Hm maybe that’ll be a Homebrew project of mine.

7/10

Keen Mind

Know some information you should probably already know.

Otherwise known as “hey mister DM I forgot to buy a compass or a watch in town, and I’m too stupid to take notes.” This is the feat for bad players, and most DMs will ignore it even if you do take it.

1/10

Linguist

Learn 3 languages. Write cyphers.

The languages are honestly useless: Comprehend Languages is a first level spell, and Tongues is a third level spell. The cyphers are a lot more interesting, but they’re admittedly extremely situational outside of specific campaigns. It also really sucks that your feat can be undone with the Comprehend Languages spell, which can be cast as a ritual.

4/10

Observant

+5 to Passive Perception / Investigation. You can read creatures’ lips if you understand the language they’re speaking.

The ability to read creatures’ lips is honestly really interesting for espionage, but let’s be real: you picked up this feat for the increase to Passive Perception. Honestly if you don’t want to be ambushed just take the Alert feat.

7/10

Resilient (INT)

Gain proficiency with Intelligence saving throws.

Intelligence saves are rare. Devastating when they occur, yes. But I’d sooner take Observant, Linguist, or one of the Tasha’s feats over Resilient.

5/10

Shadow Touched

Learn the Invisibility spell and one additional first level spell from the Necromancy or Illusion schools. You can cast both of these spells once without using a spell slot.

Invisibility is less universally useful than Misty Step, and Necromancy / Illusion spells are weaker than Divination / Enchantment spells. (At least if we’re talking first level.) There are some nice ones like Disguise Self and Inflict Wounds but generally speaking mobility is more useful in my humble opinion.

7/10

Skill Expert

See above.

Telekinetic

Learn the Mage Hand cantrip. If you know it already, increase its range by 30 feet. You can make the Mage Hand invisible. Additionally, you may shove a creature 5 feet towards or away from you as a Bonus Action on your turn.

Mage Hand is one of the best cantrips in the game and being able to make it invisible was a subclass feature restricted to just Arcane Trickster Rogues previously. Having an invisible grabbing arm is insanely useful, and extending it to 60 feet is even better.

And that isn’t even the best part! Being able to shove people around isn’t necessarily the most overpowered thing but it still gives you a way to use your Bonus Action every turn! If you play on a tabletop you can use this feat to push enemies back into AoE damage abilities or pull allies away from danger! In Theater of the Mind however this feat isn’t as strong and I wouldn’t recommend using the shove too much as its liable to annoy your DM.

8/10

Telepathic

You can speak telepathically to a creature within 60 feet of you. They have to understand the language, and don’t gain the ability to respond telepathically. Additionally, you learn the Detect Thoughts spell, and can cast it once per Long Rest without using a spell slot.

Detect Thoughts isn’t that great of a spell, though granted this is just my personal experience. That being said having telepathy is extremely useful, and this is speaking from experience!

I will say right now: take this feat if you are a Druid. Unless your DM is a real stickler for the rules this will let you speak to people while Wildshaped! This opens up a whole world of possibilities for your Druid! I unironically consider this feat mandatory for a Druid, and fairly useful for any other character who wants to speak quietly and stealthily. And you know: doesn’t have access to Message.

8/10 - Mandatory for a Druid

WISDOM

Chef

See above.

Elven Accuracy

See above.

Fey Touched

See above.

Observant

See above.

Resilient (WIS)

Gain proficiency with Wisdom saving throws.

Wisdom saves are very common, but most Wisdom classes already get Wisdom saving throw proficiency. If you have an uneven Wisdom score it can be worth it to get the proficiency, but Wisdom saving throws are arguably the most common saving throw to be proficient with.

7/10

Shadow Touched

See above.

Skill Expert

See above.

Telekinetic

See above.

Telepathic

See above.

CHARISMA

Actor

Gain advantage when pretending to be someone else, and become capable of mimicking someone’s voice after listening to them.

A very good feat if you plan to do any infiltration or other political intrigue stuff. With the Disguise Self spell this feat can be used by just about anyone, but the real value comes for Changelings. Having Disguise Self as a racial trait means the “be better at fooling people” feat is insanely useful. Inversely this feat isn’t as useful for Kenku since you can already mimic voices more-or-less perfectly.

This feat is inherently situational but it’s beyond useful for the campaigns where it can be used. And again: it’s near-mandatory for a Changeling or a Warlock with the Mask of Many Faces invocation (or anyone who takes Eldritch Adept for Mask of Many Faces.)

7/10 - Mandatory for Changelings

Dragon Fear

See above.

Dragon Hide

See above. (How the hell this feat increases Charisma I have no idea.)

Elven Accuracy

See above.

Fey Teleportation

See above.

Fey Touched

See above.

Flames of Phlegethos

See above.

Resilient (CHA)

Gain proficiency in Charisma saving throws.

Charisma saving throws are extremely rare, and more often than not they’re more of the “don’t get to play the game” variety and less “die super bad and become a living vegetable” like Intelligence saving throws. Even if looking to round out uneven ability scores feats like Skill Expert and Telepathic are better.

3/10

Second Chance

See above.

Shadow Touched

See above.

Skill Expert

See above.

Telekinetic

See above.

Telepathic

See above.

HELPFUL CHART OR SOMETHING

[steven-falls]

The Strengths of serialization: A Disenchantment analysis

Note: this is a script for a video I’m making. There are some generalised statements in this script, that will be accompanied with visuals in the final video to help specify what I am referring to.

So, Netflix just dropped part 3 of disenchantment, and with the new batch of episodes came a slew of worldbuilding, lore, characterization, laughs, adventures, and Elfo abuse. But, instead of giving an overview of everything that happened in the season (or part) I want to focus on one specific aspect of part 3 and compare this to parts 1 and 2 and that is, the serialisation of Disenchantment.

In television shows, there are two main formats a show can take: A serialized format and an episodic format. A serialized format has continuing storylines that span over the course of the entire season. Think of pretty much every drama show. By contrast, an episodic TV show presents each episode as a self contained story. Meaning you could jump in at any point in the series without needing much prior knowledge to understand what’s happening. This is the format that most animated sitcoms, such as Disenchantment’s contemporaries, The Simpsons and Futurama, went for.

Disenchantment was an interesting case as it seemed to be going for a mix of both serialization and self contained episodes throughout its first two parts, which made up season 1. The first few and last few episodes of both parts 1 and 2 had a serialized format, where the cliffhanger ending of one episode would lead directly into the opening of the next. For example part 2’s opening episode ‘The disenchantress’ ends with Bean walking down a staircase to hell, which is picked straight back up on again in the next episode, aptly titled ‘Staircase to hell’. It’s required that an audience member watches these two episodes in order, otherwise they would be confused by the opening of the latter.

But then the middle episodes of parts 1 and 2 were stand alone episodic adventures, that didn’t always directly tie into each other. For instance, the heist plot of ‘the Dreamland job’ has little to nothing to do with Derrik’s character journey in the following episode, ‘Love’s Slimy Embrace’. So not much would be lost on an audience member who watched these two episodes out of order. The main throughline between them is Lucie buying and owning the bar. But that’s a rather minor element of ‘Love's Slimby embrace’, it’s not like you need an explanation of why Lucie owns the bar to understand what’s happening in that episode.

Where Part 3 really differs from the previous two parts, is that it sticks to a more serilized format for most of its run. Pretty much every episode develops on something meaningful established in prior episodes. For instance, In the first episode of part 3 it’s revealed that Pendegast has been murdered, so the third episode ‘Beanie get your gun’ is spent investigating what happened to him. They find out it’s the priestess, and chase her down in the next episode, which naturally leads into the steam land sega covered in episodes 4 and 5, and then the boat trip back to Dreamland in episode 6. Even when an episode doesn’t end in a cliffhanger, the events that occurred in the previous episode will still be playing on the character’s mind in the next, keeping a constant narrative flow throughout part 3.

Now, I do not believe that serialized Television is inherently better than episodic Television. There are shows that owe their success to their episodic format.

But I think in Disenchantment’s case, serialization fits the tone and scope it’s going for.

Disenchantment is basically a mystery show, Part 3 opens with several overarching mysteries that are investigated over the course of the season, and Bean literally plays detective in two episodes.

Part 2 also presented several mysteries in its opening episodes, like Bean’s heritage and the secret treasure the elfs are looking for. But this became a frustration I had with part 2, as it felt like it was presenting the audience with several tantalising mysteries, but then avoided expanding on them, in favour of more non sequitur adventures. Take the episode ‘the lonely heart is a hunter’ for example. That episode has a subplot about Bean investigating some old runes that are hinted to have a connection to her mother. But this basically leads nowhere as Bean gets scared and gives up on investigating them. We don’t find out anything about them for the rest of part 2, halting that story in its tracks. What the episode chooses to develop instead is the relationship between Zogg and a bear woman named Ursula, a character who has only appeared in this single episode to date. I do actually enjoy this plot line, I think it’s funny and gives Zogg some decent character development. But when the episode prioritises a somewhat frivolous love affair over expanding on the mysteries it’s already set up, it can be frustrating to sit through, because I’m just waiting for them to get back to that mystery.

There are still some instances in part 3 where they bring up an unresolved mystery or plot line but don’t follow up on it straight away. Like it should annoy me that they mention Leaveos quest early in the season, only for it to not develop any further until the last episode.

But it doesn’t, because there’s a narrative excuse for the other character’s to abandon Leaveo and his plot line. They have the more pressing issue of Dagmar to deal with in that moment, and after that I’m so swept up in the murder and betrayl stuff that I don’t mind them leaving Leavo’s plot thread for a little longer.

Another result of part 3 taking a more serialised approach is that it makes meaningful changes to the Disenchantments status quo

After part 1 ended with several series altering cliffhangers, that seemed like it was taking the show in a radically different direction, I was disappointed by how in part 2 everything reverted back to normal by the end of episode 3. Sure, there were a few status quo changes, but for the most part, part 2 still followed Bean, Elfo and Lucie’s shenanigans around Dreamland, not that fundamentally different from part 1.

But this isn’t a criticism I can level at part 3. For one thing there are no episodes of Bean just goofing around drinking, she’s always trying to get somewhere, figure something out, or face some threat to the kingdom. The constant rising urgency prevents the show from feeling as if it’s in some stagnant status quo.

The only time I was in fear of Disenchantment resetting to a status quo was at the beginning of episode 3, ‘Beanie get your gun’, when Derrik reinstates power to Zogg, the towns people don’t care about Bean supposedly being a witch, and Zogg’s forgotten about Odvals and the priestess’s coup attempt

The characters even comment on how weird the situation is.

With Bean and Zogg being reinstated it almost seemed like the whole coup subplot had been entirely pointless, especially as the opening of the episode hinted that Pendergast might not actually have been killed.

But the episode’s ending underlines the lasting impact this coup had, by confirming Pendergast’s death and having the priestess become a fugitive from the kingdom, basically writing out two major supporting characters.

On the subject, Pendergast’s death is the first one in Disenchantment that I was genuinely shocked by. Just because of the show’s willingness to kill off a recurring character without going back on it. They have done similar deaths before, like when Jerry was killed. But Jerry was divorced enough from the main cast and the setting of Dreamland that his absence didn’t feel as noticeable. It’s not like his death bared any repercussions on how Dreamland functioned as a kingdom for example. But Pendergast’s death does, you’re reminded of his absence any time you watch a scene with Zogg losing his mind, or see turbish and Mertz without their commander. Even if Pendergast is somehow brought back later, his death was still felt throughout the whole of this season.

Part 3 of Disenchantment managed to capture my intrigue, by taking its story and characters to interesting new places. My hope for part 4 is that everything part 3 built toward gets a decent payoff. By the end of part 3 most of the plotlines have still been left open ended, with even more opening up and others being teased at. In one case it looks like they might be rehashing an older plotline.

My fear for part 4 is that all these storylines are going to trip over each other. That part four has to juggle so many different plotlines that it’s not going to be able to devote enough time to each of them, making their resolutions feel rushed and underdeveloped.

I think its on part 4 to intertwine all these plot threads, so everything comes together to form one satisfying conclusion. Unless they’re planning on continuing the show after part 4, in which case I hope part 4 is a more streamlined and focused version of part 3.

Speaking of satisfying conclusions… I couldn’t think of one for this video! So let’s end off by discussing three times Disenchantment part 3 referenced 3 other Matt Greoning cartoons.

Starting with the most obvious, the ‘Trip to the moon’ rollercoaster seen in the episode ‘Freak out’ is a reference to the second Futurama episode ‘’The series has landed’, where the planet express crew visit a theme park on the moon. In particular the rollercoaster’s moon face bares resemblance to the mascot crater face. Look, it even has part of the rollercoaster going through its eye, just like how craterface always has a beer bottle shoved through their eye. Which itself is a reference to a silent film from 1920 called ‘A Trip to the moon’. Wait actually maybe the rollercoaster is just supposed to be a reference to that.

Seconally, the joke about the kings servants Vip and Vap living in unlawful cohabitation is a reference to the characters Arkbah and Jeff, who are a gay couple from Matt Groening’s comic, Life in Hell. They also share similar character designs.

And finally, I don’t think this was intentional, but Elfo skating on Dagmars oily back reminded me of Bart Simpson skateboarding. Now try and get that image out of your mind! Good night everybody.

[yue-muffin]

Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War Review

It took months for me to complete, but at least I can finally say that I have played this game. Of all the older Fire Emblem games (pre-3DS era), this is the one that I have wanted to play the most and whose story intrigued me the most. It is, probably, now my favorite game in the franchise, and this review is the really, really long why.

Gameplay/Story Integration

Before I even mention the story, it’s important to address the mechanics that both make this game a wonderful experience of gameplay/story integration...and make it rather annoying, depending on your perspective. This game’s greatest flaws are also its greatest strengths, which makes me glad that it was produced so long ago. I still love modern games, and most have come a long way in making the player experience much less painstaking to an annoying degree, but there is also a lot of charm in older games like Genealogy, where the player is definitely made to suffer a little.

Like all Fire Emblem games, Genealogy is about a war involving dragons, invading nations, and legendary weapons. Unlike most Fire Emblem games, this one went out of its way to make the player feel like they are embarking on a campaign across a continent, spanning multiple years of nonstop fighting and traveling. Most FE games choose to focus on one battle per chapter, with the story segments in between explaining how we progressed from point A to point B. Genealogy chooses instead to make you move your entire frontline across a HUGE map, from castle to castle, crossing distances that span countries.

It’s a unique feature of this game, and I loved it, no matter how annoying it got to lug the army from the south to the north and back down again to defend a previous position from attack. It made you feel actively engaged in the progression of the conflict, made it easy to track your journey back to the beginning and see just how far you traveled. The tedium makes it feel, in the best way a mere video game can, more realistic.

By far one of the weirder and more annoying aspects of the game is the inability for units to trade money and goods between each other. In most games, there is a single pool of money and anyone in the party who purchases an item draws from that fund. In Genealogy, each unit has his/her own money, which cannot be shared with another unless that person is a spouse or the resident thief. This does make some sense because your army is basically a volunteer army built from people of multiple nationalities and affiliations. Many make it clear they’re here to lend a hand, not join you forever, so it makes sense that they don’t all fork over their money for the army to use. Still makes this part of the game annoying if you are micromanaging the army.

It was fairly difficult getting used to this game’s mechanics, which are way, WAY different from any other in the franchise. But I value the attempts made to integrate story with gameplay (another example is the ability to fix/repair broken or damaged weapons for a price, instead of them disappearing into the ether) far more over the frustration it caused me along the way.  

Story

Finally, the actual story! **Spoilers onward**

The story of this game is initially no different from any other Fire Emblem game, and it’s similar to many fantasy stories. A main character’s homeland is invaded by the bad guys, main character fights back and eventually leads a resistance force against the masterminds behind the conflict.

Genealogy turns that story progression on its head in the first half, then plays it straight in the second half. The second half is undoubtedly the weaker of the two, but it’s not bad - just not quite as interesting compared to the absolute curveball the first half throws at you.

I don’t think I’ve ever played a game that had the guts to do what this game does. The closest example is Aerith from FFVII, but at least that was one character, not the entire playable cast. This game would be devastating if it had more room to develop its characters. Honestly, it does a really good job with the limited “screentime” its characters get. Most of them are given reasons for joining that are sensible enough. The game makes sure to lay out the stakes and consequences of the choices the characters make (at least in the first half).

I think one of the reasons I like it so much is that it makes sure you feel the heavy costs of a conflict like the one unfolding in the game. It makes you feel the loss, and not only through the permadeath mechanic. Let’s be real, many players reset if they lose a unit. But even if you reset, or just are good at the game and don’t get anyone killed, the game still makes sure you see the consequences of war.

Actually, it makes you see the consequences of a simple, well-intentioned action. If makes you see how a conflict can quickly snowball out of one man’s control.

The second half of the game is, admittedly, way more typical and less impactful. The world is suffering because of the failure of the first cast to resolve the conflict, so now it’s up to the main cast’s children to finish it.

There are interesting tidbits revealed randomly and at the very end that give the story more life, so I wish they would’ve utilized these parts a little more.

Characters

A lot of people find Sigurd, part 1′s main character, kind of boring. And that’s fair. He’s a typical noble knight, very loyal and an all around good person. And he falls in love at first sight. His ultimate flaw is...well, that he is a bit too trusting or just lacks foresight.

Which is all true of our main character. But he’s also a good example of a tragic hero. His greatest strengths are his nobility and sense of justice. He starts the story only aiming to rescue a childhood friend from the invaders who have kidnapped her. But those are the same things that lead him far from home, on a campaign that snowballs out of his control and soon comes to look very much like a man working on conquering the continent, putting him in conflict with the major power on said continent who doesn’t like what he sees is happening.

He also falls into a love that will lead to disaster, so. Very tragic hero-y of him.

But I lowkey love Sigurd. I love that moment he looks back and realizes oh shit, he’s way in over his head but he literally can’t turn back anymore. The only way out is forward.

I think Seliph, Sigurd’s son, is largely forgettable. The revelation at the end, and implication that he hasn’t truly chosen his own path this whole time but was led down it was a plot point I wish was expanded on, as well as his own feelings about it all. But it kind of fits that he...doesn’t have much substance to him. In the end, he really feels like a pawn, which makes that lofty title he later gains feel all the stranger in retrospect.

This game is good at making its characters feel small in the larger setting of its world. I appreciate that. 

It has a large and largely forgettable cast of named enemies and npcs. I think it helps make the world feel lived in, rather than an empty place run by like 20 people. idk, I’d rather the world feel more realistic than every named character standing out like a sore thumb. 

The game gives you a lot of units, some more memorable than others. This is where a remake could really help flesh out these characters, but I felt that in most cases their motivations and personalities were realistic and believable. The downside, on the gameplay side, is that mounted units really do dominate this game. The few units on foot that stand out are the ones with outstanding performance in one aspect or another, while the rest just fall by the wayside since it can be so difficult to get them to join the action.

However, I am a boring person who loves mounted units, so. I was very happy.

Overall

As you can tell, I loved this game. It can be a bit janky in some aspects, but it’s definitely one of the more adventurous of FE games (seeing as it came out before the series really settled on a “style”). It’s not a game for beginners, I would say, given its somewhat odd mechanics that aren’t explained very well from the outset. The pacing can be feel rather long and arduous, which is on purpose, but also keeping in mind that you can save at the start of every turn - it wasn’t designed for you to bang out a chapter in a single sitting but come back to chip away at your progress.

[scream-into-the-voiddd]

for anyone who cares the master post is here 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 12th : favourite character?

why must you make me choose...

seriously all of the characters major or minor is shown in a way that makes them feel very real and well rounded even if they have very little screen time. for god sake the ottoman empire guys get character development (one left the show to pursue acting and they fight with scrooge in the moonvation). So this is not an easy pick to say the least.    

but I will be judging it by the one i ‘get the most out of’ so to speck....

and I have to say its a tie...

Donald Duck

I love him ok. He is very small and very angry and he will fight god(s) for his family safety. Anyway, I have always love Donald Duck shorts and everything else he shows up in he is always my fav. 

I have always been able to relate to Donald as i too have a bit of a disability that makes it hard for people to understand be (in writing) and i have a ‘voice issue’ that makes me different from everyone around me. So i really understand the feeling Donald have and the anger that comes from being misunderstood in the most basic ways. Its not fun

So Donald has always been important to me in a sense,  

The thing about Ducktales 2017 that i love is that it fleshes out Donald’s already established characteristics, by giving them context (e.g. using his outbursts to protect the boys). this gives him something that me has been missing (in animation) for awhile now, and that is how he functions outside of himself. 

what i mean by that is that Donald is kind of unique when it comes to the Disney sensational 6, unlike the rest is/ can be 

-selfish 

-cowardly 

-rude/ mean spirited 

-a loser 

these things are what make him different to the rest but in animation for a while he has been shown by himself (without his family or even Daisy) so all of the above characteristics are not “diluted” or held to any standard outside of Donald’s personal misery. 

So he can be super selfish and an all around ass cause, yeah, if your life was one pain after the other no matter what you did and you were all on your own all the time, then yeah, your going to be a miserable little shit.  

But by reintroducing the boy’s and giving him a more defined role (father/ solo care giver) at least at the start of the show, it gives Donald a reason to “fight off” his less than noble parts of his personality. It also makes his action have more weight as everything he does or fails to do effects the boy’s. So that makes him more appealing overall as what he does (or doesn’t) do now matters, and all the tragedy in Donald’s life are also given weight (Della being gone for 10 yrs, and what that did to his relationship with Scrooge) so his pain is now REAL and even tho he is funny and reckless, he is now a person with flaws and failings but also victory's (getting Della back and his family being close again) and dreams (the three caballeros and his relationship with Daisy) 

 I do love this little Rage machine   

the other fav is 

Drake Mallard 

(maybe I just like single duck dads? idk, lol)

I have already talked a bit about his intro ep,

but as of right now i am more in love with the potential i see in the character. As we have not really seen to much of him like maybe 4 ep’s total. But Drake is the character i am most hyped to see more of (and the people who are around him, Gos and LP etc.)  

as i find him really interesting and he is (ironically) one of the more “normal” people in the show as a whole, He is not rich (high society rich anyway) he is not an explorer, not a scientist, he don’t have a ‘crazy’ backstory (like Gyro in Tokyok) and he doesn't have a direct connection to Scrooge himself (he never worked for him directly, and is not a family member) 

so he is just a random guy, who thought “I’m going to do this crazy shit just because a handsome pilot man said i could if i wanted to” 

and honestly that’s cool.    

he is fun and goofy in an engendering way, and his ego is the right amount of controlled (ish) but still over the top. the character is full of story’s that can be taken from the og show and mixed in with the new show (like his intro ep), 

Drake is a just fun to think about, and how his world relates to the world of ducktales in general, as they were separate for such a long time, so seeing it come together in a new way is super existing. 

I was already blown away by his last solo ep I can’t wait to see more of him (and his how he will be with his Gos, and how that adventure will unfold)      

[isaacthedruid]

Steven Universe’s Representation and Music: an informal essay

As the first animated Cartoon Network show created entirely by a woman, Steven Universe’s run lasted for five seasons, a movie and a sequel-epilogue series. The show was far from perfect and its fandom wasn’t the best either but there is something so special about a show that followed lesbian space rocks and a young boy saving the world.

More specifically Steven Universe is about a young boy named Steven, who is half-Gem, half-human who protects the town of Beach City from evil. Gems are a kind of alien who take on the form of pastel-coloured women, to better assimilate with the rest of the world.

Rebecca Sugar, the creator, explains her colourful characters in a behind-the-scenes promo:

“I always dreamed of making a show that would have this mix of fantasy and reality. So, I wanted to make these fantasy characters that enjoy being with Steven as much, if not more than they enjoy being fantasy characters. The characters aren’t perfect and that’s what makes them so great.”

Steven’s family are known as the Crystal Gems, a group of rebels who fought against their government thousands of years ago and now live on earth. Steven’s mom, Rose Quartz was at the forefront of the fight, she did extremely terrible things and when she gave up her gem—-so Steven could be born—-she was left unable to form a body ever again. Steven, with only his dad and three alien women, must attempt to fix her messes and deal with the repercussions of his mother’s actions.

One of the main mechanics within the series is known as fusion, in which two or more Gems become a single being who is stronger and more powerful. The fused form takes on the physical, mental and emotional aspects of those who are part of the bond. As mentioned and discussed many times within this blog, fusions are a physical embodiment of different kinds of relationships. And for a show starring a primarily female cast, they do not shy away from using this mechanic to tell queer stories.

So explicitly that in 2018, the show had the first-ever lesbian wedding in a cartoon. Of course, representation wasn’t always as accepted in Steven Universe. Just two years before the big wedding, higher-ups at Cartoon Network told Rebecca Sugar, they not happy with the multiple queer relationships, so much so that they were ready to threaten cancellation.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, she expressed:

“If this is going to cost me my show that’s fine because this is a huge injustice and I need to be able to represent myself and my team through this show and anything less would be unfair to my audience.”

Being LGBT herself, identifying as bisexual and non-binary, representation is important to her. For many queer people, especially grown-ups, they hope to see themselves represented in kids’ media today as they never had growing up. They want nothing more for children’s shows to say that being “different” or not fitting in with our heteronormative society is actually normal.

Within Steven Universe, you can find woman-loving-woman relationships, non-binary and intersex characters, woman-loving-non-binary relationships, asexual coded characters and basically every other letter in the acronym.

Rebecca Sugar even acted as the exciting force for LGBT inclusion within Adventure Time, originally working as a writer and storyboard artist before leaving to create her own show. She pushed for making the ex-romantic queer couple to be canonically part of the story and for it to not just coded into the dialogue.

A few years later, she returned to the show, multiple times, to compose over 20 songs that would air over the series 10-year-long run such as, “I’m Just Your Problem” which had lesbian subtext that would be confirmed later.

Some other iconic songs including “Fry Song“, “Remember You“, “Good Little Girl“, “Everything Stays” and even the finale song, “Time Adventure“.

Much like the show as a whole, there is something so special about the music she writes. In total, there were over 160 songs written for the franchise, some being short little tunes, no longer than a minute while others were full-blown musical numbers. No matter, all of them have their place within the show. Often when the character can’t express lines through speech, music is utilized to provide a more raw and poignant portrayal of their emotions.

Why Steven Universe is so widely loved is due to the music, as the overall story is not even close to perfect. Yet, everyone can agree on one thing, the music is unbelievably good. What is interesting is the different styles of melodies and backtracking used in the various songs, even more impressive is that every character has their own instrumental motif.

Steven’s motif is the ukelele as he is often seen playing the instrument himself, performing short little melodies and even writing the in-show version of the theme song. Additionally, Steven’s music uses a large amount of Chiptune synth, electronic music which is created using a programmable sound generator. Both instruments have a very childlike feeling to them, Chiptune especially as it is normally used in video game music like The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, one of the main musical inspirations for the show. As Steven is the lead, most of the music has Chiptune somewhere in the score and fun fact, the first song in the show, sung by Steven, “Cookie Cat” was actually written on an old Gameboy.

Amethyst is very loud and fun, her motif is electric drums which is extremely reflective of her character. As she can be angry from convincing herself that she is not good enough to happy and giggling from pranking Steven, her instrument can be used in so many ways as she is not a simple character. No matter what, for the few songs Amethyst has on her own (or in the score), her drums provide such an interesting emotional response to the situation.

Garnet is a fusion, so her motif is actually the combination of two instruments. Ruby is a drumbeat as she is a fiery and loud character, she is chaotic while Sapphire is her opposite. Sapphire is calm and collected, she has ice-related powers and is represented by Synth music. The characters together have a perfect unity, expressed by Garnet’s synth bass sounds, she is the equilibrium of two very contrasting characters. The music associated with Garnet, uses primarily the synth bass but Ruby and Sapphire’s individual instruments can be heard throughout her music. All three instruments are also heavily representative as Garnet’s main dancing style is Hip Hop which clashing with others’ softer dancing styles.

Despite, not being alive during the show, Rose Quartz still has her own musical motif as she plays a large part in Steven’s growth throughout the series. As well as being in many flashbacks, she is represented with strings, more specifically, the violin. Rose’s story is rather sad which quite is visible within her associated music, yet, she was also an extremely powerful character as she led the fight against the Homeworld government. Her strength can be heard with strong uplifts and swells in the music. She is never seen playing an instrument unlike the rest of the main characters but one person who plays hers is Pearl, a character Rose was possibly in love with.

For the complex and beautiful character, Pearl, her motif is classical and swing piano. She is visually represented as a ballerina for a large majority of the series, dressed in a leotard, a small skirt and ballet shoes. Apart from Garnet, she is one of the calmest characters in the show. She is a perfectionist and is knowledgeable on many topics. She has a dark past and her fair share of trauma, all of this is wrapped up in her music. From her traumatic past with Rose Quartz, the violin had been heard throughout her music, yet, when she finally dealt with everything, the violin was lost. Swapped out for a new instrument, a bass guitar which she learned how to play at the end of the series. Pearl is a character who has been through a lot and her music reflects it. As she grew, her music changed with her, becoming her own instead of something built off of Rose’s.

My personal favourite song is “It’s Over Isn’t It?” which is this heartwrenching and emotionally painful ballad sung by a broken woman. Pearl was in love with Steven’s mom. Yet, the feelings were not mutual or at least ended being reciprocated as Rose left her for Greg, Steven’s dad. It hurts because Rose didn’t just leave her, Rose Quartz also passed away. As the song goes:

That they didn’t really matter until you I was fine when you came And we fought like it was all some silly game Over her, who she’d choose After all those years, I never thought I’d lose … You won and she chose you and she loved you and she’s gone It’s over, isn’t it? Why can’t I move on? … Who am I now in this world without her? Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her What does it matter? It’s already done Now I’ve got to be there for her son

Without Rose, Pearl has lost her place in the world as all she ever knew was her. Yet, now she is left to help raise a half-human baby and go on with her life. It makes it more difficult as this baby is the product of Rose and the man that she left Pearl for.

Pearl doesn’t want to hate Greg, she is angry at him but she doesn’t have hatred towards him. They may not be the best of pals at the start of the series but in the song called “Both of You“ has Steven, finally, begging for Greg and Pearl to just talk to each other.

Why don’t you talk to each other? Why don’t you talk to each other? Just give it a try Why don’t you talk about what happened? … You might not believe it but you got a lot in common, you really do You both love me and I love both of you … I know you both need it Someone who knows what you’re going through

An interesting thing about this song is that Steven is this to them, the person with Rose’s gem is singing to the two people who fought over Rose. It makes me wonder if this could be Rose speaking through Steven to her two loved ones. Whether it is or not, doesn’t really matter to the overall story but it is a fun idea to look at.

Overall, these songs are a literal representation of dealing with ones’ emotions in a healthy way, something that Steven Universe actively tries to teach their younger viewers about.

To say Steven Universe is a good show only for its music would be a false statement, it’s one of the strongest aspects but without the story or the characters, the music would fall flat and not have any of its passion.

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author Spotlight: Coffeegleek Day 2

Author : @coffeegleek​ 

Share one of your strengths.

Humor, even if I'm the only one who's laughing. There's a reason I have the often used tag, "Sometimes I think I'm funny." :)

Share one of your weaknesses.

Redundancy. I try so damn hard not to repeat words, phrases, and sentences yet they always sneak in.

Which fic has been the hardest to write?

A Nest of Scars because it terrified me to put it out into the world. I both wanted to tell Kurt's origin story of his time in juvie, yet was/am still afraid I would attract haters and pedos. I held onto it for a year before publishing it. It doesn't have much traction at all and most of me is okay with that. I wrote it because I wanted to expand more on why Kurt acts the way he does in Empty Nest and Rebuilding the Nest. I also wanted to tell about the RL horrors that are happening to POC kids in the U.S. It was NOT an easy fic to write emotionally. It wasn't fun to write Kurt being abused from ages 6-13. My brain wouldn't let the story go, so now it's out there and done. Once the sequel to it and a couple of one shots are written, I'm hoping to let the verse go. Of course, I said that after Rebuilding the Nest too. Another hard part of that verse is wanting to write Kurt and Blaine's much happier life after Rebuilding the Nest. I have the characters, setting, and some basics down, but never could get enough plot to turn it into a worthwhile story.

Which fic has been the easiest to write?

The crack fic one shots, whose names escape me. The Hallmark Christmas fics have been a blast. The only challenge to A Very Hallmark Christmas was when I started spiraling into more Kurt angst than I'd wanted for the verse and had to pull myself out of it. Writing A Soulmate for Santa Claus, the movie Kurt and Blaine were filming during A Very Hallmark Christmas, and the commercials that aired during the movie were a joy. It's why I want to get back to the verse.

Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

A true passion. I've been writing my entire life and have totes full of my work from childhood to now. It's a life long dream to have my original sci-fi novel published. I worked on it on and off for nearly twenty years; the last major overhaul was finalized a few years ago.

Is there an episode or character or arc above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Burt's deep love for Kurt. As the parent of a gay son who ended up with PTSD due to homophobic and racist bullying, harassment, and assault it's a relationship I deeply relate to. I also relate to Kurt being an outsider who tries his best to rise above it all. Carole is a wonderful, relatable parent figure too.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Write the fics you want to read, what you love, and want to see more of.

What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

That language is changing and that I should stop complaining (in private or on posts about grammar) about people not using pronouns in their fics. Yes, language changes over time, but in this time, Kurt should not reach over to Kurt's dresser to pull out Kurt's lube and condoms.

If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

A Very Hallmark Christmas. It would be such a humorous delight with just a bit of relevant angst. It has everything - two actors (Kurt and Blaine) falling in love as their characters do on screen. An obnoxious child actor (Justin Goolsby's son) who makes the other child actors cry. A frustrated production assistant (Tina) who wants to kill the director (Artie.) A famous guest star (Mercedes Jones) who sings the movie's pivotal Christmas song. The actress who is so tired of having to be super nice in her roles (Santana.) POC actors complaining about the roles they're always forced to play. The shameless product placements. I watched hundreds of hours of Hallmark Christmas movies to get the cheesy dialogue just right. I even threw some fun Burt and Carole in the end. Can you tell I shamelessly love this fic and verse? :)

What’s your process? Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? What are the perfect writing conditions for you?

I write the scenes out of order. Or rather, I start to write from the beginning, but there always ends up being a scene or block of scenes which take place later in the story that are written in-between. I always have at least one, sometimes two, google docs of notes that accompany it. If I didn't, the fic would get way too messy with my color-coded notes. I have outlines of sorts. For A Nest of Scars, its chapters go by Kurt's age and each has a line or two of dialogue as the quote at the beginning that tells the reader what's going to happen. I had many of those outlined before and during the writing process because I was very selective about what happens to him when. I had rules set in place and the ending had already been established in the original fic, Empty Nest. 

With A Very Hallmark Christmas and A Very Weird Christmas Adventure, each chapter was defined by the Klaine Advent words of the day. I could never keep up to a chapter a day, so often I would have chapter notes with the words and ideas for them. 

Perfect writing conditions - living room couch (where I essentially eat, sleep, and live as it's "my space" within the house,) a blanket and laptop on my lap, pillows comforting my back, lights off, cup of coffee on the coffee table, and the TV on to something I only half want to watch with the sound off and the remote at the ready in case I glance over and want to take a break from writing. Sometimes I'll have a song that I'll play on repeat if it's helping me to write a scene. (I do this a lot when writing original work; less so with Klaine fanfic.)

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Check out Coffeegleek’s Fics

A Very Hallmark Christmas - Semi-famous actor!Kurt and semi-famous actor!Blaine work the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit in true B-actor form. Though they’ve worked on the same movies before, this time they land roles that could change their lives forever. Mostly happy fluff, but has some angst. This is Hallmark, so of course it has a happy ending. Many of my favorite tropes have been included: badboy!Kurt who really has a heart of gold and sweetness, famous!Kurt, famous!Blaine, actor!Kurt, actor!Blaine, soulmates, soulmarks, AU Glee, angst with a happy ending, and fluff. There’s also a heavy dose of cheesy Hallmark Christmas Movie writing in both the script and commercials. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles.

Originally this was my Klaine Advent 2018 fic that I brain froze on and knew was confusing because the first 2 chapters were stand-alone, random one shots before I got the idea in chapter 3 for a whole verse. So this is that Hallmark story verse only reworked to make it better and stand on its own. All of the Advent words are included in this fic.

A Soulmate for Santa Claus -  This is the movie, A Soulmate for Santa Claus, that was being filmed in the Kurt/Blaine fic, A Very Hallmark Christmas. It includes the commercials that were being filmed as well. New material is included.

A Very Weird Christmas Adventure - A crack fic of fun and all the tropes that continues after A Very Hallmark Christmas. You don't have to have read the original fic, but it helps.