#like not only does she deserve to have that info

[lean-mean-demon-genevieve]

I could just feel her need to spew diet culture nonsense in my bones yesterday. And here it is today in her stories:

I’m going to try so hard to keep this brief…

1.) Note the typo in the thumbnail in the white box. GenPad: Consummate Professional; English Major. Apparently busy moms don’t proofread.

2.) This meal program costs $465/week for FIVE days of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. (That’s $31/meal.) Or $395/week with an auto-pay subscription. ($26.33 per meal.) It doesn’t appear that there is an option for multiple people per household. There is also no 7-day option. Yes you’re paying for the convenience of a pre-made meal and no I haven’t run the numbers on what it would cost you to make all of this at home, but the fact remains: shit is pricey.

3.) It all comes in plastic containers. TOWWN, indeed!

(Source listed below)

4.) Sakara does not share the nutrition info in these meals. (You can find nutrition profiles on some protein bars and powders on Google but not the meals.) This is sketchy as hell and for that price, their customers deserve to know. The company claims that “calories don’t matter” and suggests that people do not count calories. Which isn’t a terrible message on the surface, but that’s not all that goes on a nutrition label.

5.) What little nutrition info anyone has been able to arm-wrestle out of Sakara (see above) is generalized, but it also suggests that it isn’t enough calories for most women/their target audience. A dietitian who tried the program for 5 days reported that for 0 of those days did they only eat Sakara’s food because they were hungry in between. It’s also low in protein, so add some snacks and meat to your weekly $465 budget for ONE PERSON.

“To their credit”?? …no. Not for that price.

6.) The phrase “clean eating” is a marketing gimmick. It’s also how people like Gen signal their superiority in their food choices. A study published in The Journal of Eating Disorders showed supporting data that perpetuating “clean eating” as a goal may be harmful, especially to vulnerable audiences. (And the thing about eating disorders is that it is really difficult to tell who is vulnerable until it’s too late. It is estimated that 1 in 4 diets results in an ED.)

7.) Gen continues to shill health and wellness misinformation that has potential to harm others for her own profit. What a gal!

Bonus: Gen also claims to have her own history of an eating disorder in this podcast (start at 24:14) which obviously doesn’t make her inherently bad or untrustworthy but I do feel like it should mean that SHE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO PUT OTHERS AT RISK WITH HER INFLUENCER BULLSHIT…but here we are. 🖕🏼

Sources:

“A Dietitian’s Review of Sakara’s Insta-Famous Meal Plans”

“Sakara 101: Why Calories Don’t Matter”

Journal of Eating Disorders article

[gingersp1ce547]

Its been like 12 hours but im not still not over q!bagi being the only one to make demands in return for her joining the resistance. Like she knows her fucking worth, she knows she’s the only chance they have right now of getting an investigator and she’s not afraid to leverage that to get what she not only wants but frankly deserves.

Just.

Q!bagi is so fucking cool you guys

[understandableparadox]

a comprehensive list of everything wrong with hazbin hotel.

quick note before i lose myself in madness, my standards for helluvaboss are non existent because its a free show on youtube. also i kinda like helluvaboss and i will indulge in any bias i damn well please.

oh and spoilers. i guess.

the greater narrative of the entire season is "White lady civilize inner city hoodlum". ex: The blind side. rich girl, affluent family yadda yadda.

the story is set up to be like amphibia, owl house, svtfoe, steven universe, that being starting as something episodic then transforming into story driven narrative. why? because we know the benefits and drawbacks, episodic starts allows us to wander the world, it allows us to understand the dynamics, we are not forced to reckon with anything because there is no deadline. characters are allowed to bloom and shine and the audience can actually get attached.

the source material is Vary Clearly formed from remnants of something out of a middle school edgelord narrative. the usage of transformation, the big spooky grins, the "and then i smile as my eyes glow and-"-isms which in most cases i don't mind because in some instances but in a vary Particular case its astoundingly annoying and that annoyance is like a mold, shit spreads quick.

the color Red. as a lover of homestuck cherubs and karkat and aradia, as someone who fucking loves the color red, it is so painful to say but holy shit tone it the fuck down, i know its hell but their are so many other colors that you can use, its everywhere, the streets, the air, the windows, the screens, the characters, i know the pride ring is represented with red but change up the palates every so often for backgrounds

the rush, this ties into the second point made but i think the story itself is rushed. we know everything way to early. i know way to much and it makes it hard to care about anything because im still trying to digest the last chunk of info. "oh ok, so they clear out hell once a year. oh hell has a heaven embassy? ok. oh that adam the angel, i though he wou- oh its every 6 months now. wait the exterminators die a lot? then why is everyone sca- people in hell already have weapons that can kill angels? w- oh we are in heaven now, ok ma- no one in heaven except for the elites know the exterminations occur? how do-" and its that, just this incessant rush to explain everything to you. notably that's just the god damn spark notes, we need to know everything about the characters now, every single bit of their story, their insecurities, what charlie needs to fix, how she can fix them, the major bad guys, everything. you are never allowed to dwell on a character because we need to rush towards something else. it almost feels like this should have been like... season three, it would have been a fantastic season three if you dropped the introductions honestly.

the concept of redemption. for a story of redemption to work you need to look at three things. What is there crime, Do they want to change, What is preventing them from changeing? there is only one single character that has a notable path of redemption, angel dust, but if you look through their story it feels off. What Exactly is he guilty of? he has sex, does drugs and drinks. his apparent nymphomania is tied to his sad backstory as someone forced into the sex industry so how is that their fault? then if you think about it you start to spiral and notice "hey why are most of these people in hell?" like sure some of them may deserve punishment but then you see the fucking dichotomy and its like "I was a inventor in england and died of the fucking plague, i may have made evil little contraption hoohoohoo" vs "I was a cannibal, a full on cannibal, i fucking killed people and ate them and then someone shot me". ONE OF THESE THINGS ARE A LITTLE MORE FUCKING EXTREME. i'm going to go fucking nuts, the thing they went to heaven with when presenting a case to angels on the idea that redemption and becoming a better person is actually real was angel dust not drinking at a party and not having sex with consenting adults and i want to go fucking insane. WHAT IS THE CRIME, WHO IS THROWING THE BOOK, WHAT DOES THE BOOK INTEL, ARE WE ON GOOD PLACE RULES?! half the cast dont Need redemption they need fucking help, and the other half of the cast do need redemption but they do not seek it making the point moot. sir pentious acts like he has the brain of a hyper intelligent toddler tossing about toys, its almost like he did his one bad thing of spying and then got caught, sank his little diddy about forgiveness and second chances and become a null point through out the rest of the series, sure their was Some weight to him sacrificing himself, he was a decently funny character and he had good moments but him popping up in heaven felt like a fore gone conclusion, he didn't deserve to be in hell so why do i care that he is suddenly in heaven? because its working on the concept the good place already made. no one actually deserves eternal punishment they just need help processing what makes them a dick, but instead of looking at all the parts of the afterlife that make it bad, inefficient and then creating and trying ideas to see if it work instead over a few seasons, we crash dick first into all the major plot points in regards to that and say "tada, we fixed it.".

having a sub-plot about sexual assault and its victims then having multiple sexual assault related gag ruins your point.

don't make a bunch of stereotypically jewish characters into cannibals, that was a big thing, really shouldn't have to say it.

if you are going to make a character black, make them black, you can say alastor was black but sweet seren-fucking-dippity that's not a black man.

pot meet kettle but yeah the cursing could be a little less liberal. maybe just blue hair or the pronouns, not both.

there is a very distinctive art deco/jazz aesthetic which normally i love but i feel as though it is not used to its full extent and in some cases really hurts the character design in and of itself.

this is a vary obvious bit but the story is a million times more interested in gay men then it is of lesbians, which culminates in this insane thing where the writers clearly have more talent or perhaps it would be more abt to say practice writing male gay pining then they are with lesbian pining. which i personally think is hilarious because i did not know you could min max fujoshi-ism that hard.

this next section is more to do with each character on a fundamental level, for the sake of brevity whatever there is left, i'm just doing ones with speaking roles.

13. Charlie:

(see what i mean about that red thing?)

as originally stated charlie fits rather comfortably into every white saviour narrative, though that seems to be part of her joke. though i'm not entirely sure how much of a joke it can be when its rewarded and expected to advance the plot.

her character design says nothing, it has the motif of old puppets or dolls, she wears something vaguely similar to service suits, her demonic form is just some extra horns.not to say every character needs to have their life on a clothes rack but some more snake and goat imagery would be nice

its not the chol design of charlie with snake hair, not an actual problem but its a problem to me, damn you @cholvoq for ruining my ability to look at any of the characters without wishing i was seeing your designs instead.

character wise aside from the white savoir bit, i'm having a bit of trouble understanding what the arc of the character is. she is shown to be naive, someone who doesn't understand how the world works but everytime she says something its something astoundingly clear like "people can actually get better". and its treated like someone demanded faygo in every water fountain. is the joke that the world around her to cynical or is so to naive? please pick one or the other.

now if you know me, you know i fucking hate overpowered characters with a blinding passion, one that would set alit the god damn abyss but in this one special instance, i feel like its warranted, she's the direct descendant of fucking God, she can swing her weight around a little, i mean god damn. she in so many instances looks like shes cowering so often, why would the daughter of lucifer get backed down by some rando pimp? why wasn't she the one to fight adam? sure you can say she is young but how young? her parents were there since pre-abrahamic times, most of the characters showed up in hell in the 1900s, some of them showed up in the 1600s, how old is charlie??? how long does it take for her to learn how to be strong? The story does not suffer if charlie is strong and knows she is strong. it can easily be a case of "i don't believe in violence to a weird degree". fit it into her apparent naivety about the world to believe that violence is never the answer even when dealing with a being that is unilaterally horrible and abusive and monstrous.

she ga- no im kidding, i do think her romance was waysided a bit, it would have been fine to have more scenes of them togather and in love you know?

14. Vaggie

why did you name the lesbian vaggie...? Don't do that maybe?

I like how her design is almost moth like but again i feel as though you could have amped that up.

she feels as though someone tried to combine undyne and pearl from steven universe, same story beats and design elements. it makes it hard to really distinguish her as a character.

i honestly dont have much to say about her. she is fine.

christ kill me, lets just get the big one out of the way

15. Alastor.

God Damn

where to start.

"alastor is mixed race" mixed with fucking what? concrete? there is not a single black feature on that creature, now im not saying you have to make him a png of louie armstrong but it wouldn't hurt to add a curl to the hair maybe? make it a tiny bit more wavy? Something? a crumb i beg of thee?

his symbolism is all over the god damn place, native american monsters (you know the one), voodoo, radio, puppets, stitches, circuses??? and Tentacles i guess. two of those are from closed religions so if you dumped those you would actually get a more concise character focused on the concept of vox populi as a means of societal control and influence as we see in his first song. but again that gets drowned out repeatedly by all the other random toy box bits shoved into him.

tumblr sexy man bait

he serves no purpose in the story. he does spooky stuff, pretends to do things and then goes back to sitting around looking spooky. i understand that his motif is supposed to be aloof mastermind but maybe have him do more mastermindy things? if you remove most of alastors scenes, bar the songs, it doesn't change all to much. husk and nifity can still be at the hotel, they could be looking for outs in their contracts the same as angel dust. hell it even helps with the one scene where he dose some spooky shit, asking charlie for a favor in exchange for his help in the fight with the angels instead of asking him about angel weapons which should have remained a strictly vaggie scene.

his presence in a way delegitimize the story, as I noted in in the section regarding redemption, the three parts are "what is the crime, do they want to change, what is stopping them?" and alastor kinda just spits in the face of that. he is a serial killer cannibal that has no qualms about how evil he is and apparently must continue being evil due to being under the control under someone legitimately called the Root Of All Evil. show him take a slight interest in the idea that maybe shit for him could be better, make him Want Change at the bare fucking minimum or dont have him at the hotel.

his stupid little fucking horns, big shot the troll liker wants characters to have big fucking horns, make them noticeable or dont have them.

he looks more like a dog boy, which could have been an interesting thing with the collar motif but fuck me i guess.

personal pet peeve but i fucking hate characters that have a million plus powers, stick to a set number, be creative.

im getting more petty as i go on so last point: he could have been in less episodes, he didn't need to be in dad beat dad, that should have been just a lucifer and charlie episode. inverse the red and black and i think he would be fucking great color wise, his body type is the same as ten different characters, he isnt radio enough, aside from the voice and and staff if you told me he was the fucking Cat Demon i would have been just as convinced.

16. Angel Dust

what the fuck, gay spider? its hard to actully articulate all the thoughts i have on angel dust, not in the sense that he is a deeply thought provoking character but in the fact that there is not much meat on the bones.

all around i think angel dust is kinda middling. he has a decent enough romance with husk, he has a decent enough story line that revolves around battling addiction and removing yourself from an abuser (which the story tries to brand as "Redemption???")

I dont like that most of his jokes would qualify as sexual harassment, i don't mind him being sexual as a character but continuing on when clearly someone doesn't like the jokes hurts the character.

not a critique but he is pink, which honestly ill fucking take at point, as long as its not more fucking red.

i think his design is an improvement over some of the old vivzie designs but it feels like it could have done with going a few more rounds of design changes.

same thing with alastor, charlie and vaggie, there is not enough of the animal that they are supposed to be. You could have told me angel dust was a fucking bee or something and i would have had to believe you. nothing about angel dust initially says spider, hell he dosent even have enough limps to be a fucking spider.

17. Carmilla carmine

are... are you supposed to be a rabbit...?

Big Yoai Hands

ballet fighting style, could have been cool, wish she fought more like sanji or chun li.

A single mom that works to hard, who loves her kids and never stops-

her song was decent, not great, decent. it feels as though the actress has experience singing but not in the way they tried to make her sing during her two songs. they have a obvious mexican influence, honestly just let her sing in spanish in the english dub. go listen to the spanish dub, "out for love" sounds great in spanish.

i wish i had more thoughts on them, fucking rip.

18. cherri bomb

that's not a punk aesthetic that's 2010s alt

decent character, they showed up once or twice i guess, no real thoughts.

19. egg boiz

absolutely perfect, i have not notes on them, these are perfect creatures.

20. Emily

im so fucking happy to see a singular blue character

does the naive dreamer bit better then charlie

We really shouldnt have seen her until the end of season two or middle of three.

good contrast with the other angels on screen.

Wait she is supposed to be black??? Where???

21. Husk

keith david you absolute delight, Why on gods green earth did they only give you one singing part?

one of the few charecters where its clear husk is a cat, i do like the kinda... marquee design, he is a magic cat, thats neat. i still think you can toss the wings and eyebrows and still have just as good of a charecter.

has a deeply intresting story of someone who died as a nobody, became the fat cat of hell and then was forced back to the bottom by their own vices, not used at fucking all.

huge potential, little pay off.

22. lillith

I know nothing about her except she ditched her kid and husband to vacation in heaven and i think thats kinda funny.

alot of werid things floating around her, again she shouldnt have been shown in the show at all until next season.

23. lucifer morningstar

no notes, funniest charecter, did a song based on friend like me.

few notes: i do like the idea that the immortal symbol of pride is a constant emotional wreckage constantly seeking approval through grand showmanship and manic energy that threatens to take over anything they touch.

would have liked more snake stuff on him, maybe some more goat things like horns.

that is such a stupid fucking staff lmao.

24. Adam.

alex brightman you absolute fucking delight, you should have had more songs.

I wish his design was more focused on the idea of him being a glam rock wash up

I fucking hate his mask

We shouldn't have met him until the end of the season.

25. Niffty

again she is supposed to be a bug or cockroach but nothing about her points to that.

token straight

keeps rocketing back and fourth between sexulization and infantilization

you had kimiko glenn but didnt give her a single fucking song?

26. Sir Pentious

the secret season one redeemed.

the pilot version of him felt more like someone that could do a season one redemption arc, a megalomaniac constantly attempting territory grabs, there is something you can work with, actual character flaws to work through.

essentially a child after the first episode.

actually a snake which i appreciate.

no where near steampunky enough.

27. the villians of the show dont make much sense, each one feels like they should be season long deals on their own instead of a bunch of team rocket esque idiots that show up on occasion, do a bad thing and then leave.

28. Valentino

gOD THERE IS SO MUCH RED

only a moth some of the time.

sucks as a villain, maybe they need more screen time to show why they suck in a more substantial way aside from being told that he sucks.

it is interesting that angel dust is only under his magical control when in the studio, it shows that angel dust has to make a conscious choice to return, which in turn can be made to show how abusers can draw back their victims. I do not think it was done well in this circumstance as it shows him to be cartoonishly evil, constantly flying back and fourth between sweet and utter psycho, there is no actual reason for angel dust to ever actually go back to the studio, he just does so every so often.

29. Vox

legit who cares? the only thing about him that is in any way substantial is all the dope ass fan art we get.

propaganda machine angle that is not explored at all, just hinted at. no actual barring on the story whatsoever.

why didn't he try to do the same shit as alastor by the way? he knows its bad if alastor gets in good with charlie so shouldn't it be a ass kissing race?

same body shape as literally every other male character.

tumblr sexy man version of pyrocynicals fursona.

30. Valvette

the actual poster child of the shows huge problem of "Show me, don't tell me".

apparently the glue that holds the villains together. never shown.

apparently the one that makes the love potions that valentino is famous for. had to learn about that in the fuckin wiki trivias

we know so much about her from things outside of the show.

was there to call carmilla a coward, that's her plot contribution. she shows up every now and again but its never anything substantial and serves to more around take up run time for people We Don't Need To Know Yet.

im not trying to be mean, animation is animation, we need smaller studios to have success in the industry so that other indie studios can have that success, felling a tree makes it easier for others to follow. showing that its possible to number brain rot exacs helps all animators.

but this show has so much bullshit attached to it, it has so much fucking potential that it fries my brain with unyielding frustration.

this took a bit to write, im tired, thanks for reading.

[chromatic-corrosion]

(part 1) Character/Show information found on Gooseworx's tumblr

I went into Gooseworx's tumblr and made a list of all the info found on there so far.

Caine:

Caine named himself before deciding that it's an acronym that stands for Creative Artificial Intelligence Networking Entity (he thinks it makes him sound professional)

‘’[Caine] does not have an age, as he is an AI.’’

Apparently, Caine is likely the best singer out of everyone in the circus.

Caine would own a circus peanut shotgun.

Caine can’t grasp the concept of irony.

Caine is not affected by “this statement is false”

if Caine could remove his clothes, there’d be nothing underneath. His clothes are his body.

Caine constantly gives silly nicknames to everything.

Caine would only bite his eyes or tongue if he thought it’s funny. Otherwise, they clip through his teeth

the restaurant that Caine was in with Bubble is “one of Caine’s special realms.”

Bubble:

Bubble speaks in reverse once in episode 3.

Bubble is a much simpler AI created by Caine

Apparently, Bubble is the biggest slut.

Bubble is ‘’Caine’s little hype man’’

Bubble likes being popped.

Bubble is a boy

Pomni:

Pomni’s hat is a part of her body

Pomni does not like being touched

Pomni’s first design looked liked a frog

Pomni’s reaction to herself in the mirror isn’t a positive reaction

Apparently, Pomni’s hair is black.

Pomni is good at accounting.

Ragatha:

Ragatha gives the best hugs

Ragatha has been in the circus the second longest.

Ragatha likes horses.

Ragatha can see through her button eye

Jax:

‘’There’s a particular character who hasn’t been revealed yet who’s practically a self-insert.’’ (He’s the mean one…Jax?)

Nobody likes Jax

Jax doesn’t have a tail.

Jax deserves to be trapped in the circus the most

There’s nothing heroic about Jax.

Jax is morally the worst character in the show.

Jax didn’t enter the circus at the age of 14.

Jax didn't react well when he first entered the circus

Jax is afraid of corn because it reminds him of something called 'the farm’. (this turned out to be a lie)

Jax mainly bullies the girls because he has issues he hasn’t worked out with himself yet.

Gangle:

Gangle likes to draw, specifically anime.

Gangle can walk on water, but only during a full moon. (this turned out to be a lie)

Gangle’s favourite anime is Azumanga Daioh.

Gangle has a body pillow with a character on it.

Gangle watched One Piece, and her favorite character was Chopper.

Kinger:

For some reason, when Gooseworx was asked to describe the next character (who we now know to be Kinger), she used the word ‘’dad’’

Kinger is not British.

Kinger is the tallest and oldest

Kinger knows how to play chess.

Zooble:

Zooble almost gets no screen time in the first two episodes

Zooble has a 'zooble box’ of extra parts in their room, and it has no end.

Zooble does not like hugs

Zooble has been in the circus the second shortest.

Zooble is very grouchy and irritable.

Zooble would smoke weed.

Zooble is the worst at giving hugs

Zooble is constantly trying out different parts.

Zooble was a tattoo artist at one point.

Zooble most likely dyed their hair in the real world.

the Sun & the Moon

The Moon (and the Sun) is an AI "like bubble"

the Sun can talk too

Queenie

The black queen chess pieces name is Queenie

Queenie being a black chess piece and Kinger being a white chess piece has no relevancy to their relationship. It’s only a design choice.

Queenie and Kinger aren’t siblings.

multiple characters

How each member of the cast would react if you called them 'adorable’.

Ragatha: oh! Thank you so much!

Jax: Well that makes one of us.

Gangle: oh…

Pomni: Uhhhhhh… thanks I guess?

Zooble: Shut up…

Kinger: Heh! 

Caine: You’re absolutely right!

Bubble: *says every slur*

Jax is the youngest member of the circus, with Zooble being the second youngest as they are half a month older than Jax.

Nobody in the circus is truly sane

the ages of all the humans.

Pomni - 25

Jax - 22

Ragatha - 30

Zooble - 22

Gangle - 26

Kinger - 48

The performers can feel pain

Every character has a reason for the way they act.

We’ll get to see the characters' rooms eventually.

Ragatha can play the cello and Zooble can play drums

None of the characters have bones, but they do have a visible skeleton when they’re being electrocuted.

Other

There wont be any singing, only instrumental songs

There are “many” that we don’t know of.

The typical episode length will be 21-25 minutes.

There won’t be any romance

‘’the entire show is about exploring these characters on a much deeper level.’’

Abstraction can’t be undone.

The abstracted all look the same

Someone asked who was closest to abstracting besides Kinger, in response Gooseworx said ‘’You wouldn't believe me if I told you.’’

“This show isn’t going to be very suitable for young kids, especially in the later episodes.’’

Future Episodes

There’s “technically” a worm in episode 2.

There is an episode that heavily features Kinger.

Some episodes are a '1’ on the horror scale, some are a '6’. all of the following

"If it were to get made into a full season, yes each character gets their own little episode."

all of the following episodes in one word.

boy

damn

oh…

haha!

guns

huh?

OH

what…

On 7th of November, Gooseworx said "the plan is eight episodes total, one season".

Note that some of this info may have changed since posting. Some may change during the course of the show, and some may be jokes and lies. Please let me know if there's anything I missed!

[savanir]

DP x DC prompt [13]

Impulse is a little back in time, simply to retrieve a thing from the most haunted city in america.

the instructions were clear, in. grab thing. out. no funny business, no anything else.

why the fuck did it had to be impulse then?! that’s never gonna- ah, whatever…

So Bart does not just do only that. He remembers to keep moving fast so he’s not seen, but well, he spotted these two white suited goofballs who looked upset with their little box contraption and somehow were missing the little unplugged wire and Bart figured, what could the harm be?

so he might have plugged the little wire in while he was there, sue him, the guys looked surprised but pleased that their little thingy was suddenly working. good job Impulse right?

he didn’t forget about it but he might have shoved it in the back trunk of his head while he went on to do his actual job which is essentially forgetting for a guy with eidetic memory.

So yeah, imagine his surprise when he gets back to where he came from and finds himself on a doomed, desolate earth with green skies and nothing but scorched rock and ruins for miles.

What he’s seeing is an earth in the aftermath of a war against the infinite realms.

So now he has to go back to the past and fix his reckless mistake. Would it be wise to maybe see if he can find a single living soul with some info on what happened to make this ordeal a little easier? maybe, but that might involve him having to explain himself which will most likely be followed by a subsequent well deserved lecture and Bart is hoping to fix this without all that because he clearly fucked up. like, it’s very obvious. and he’s feeling very bad about it, honest.

back in the past again though, he nearly collapses, he’s seriously overdoing it at this point, afterall he was supposed to be able to recuperate once he got back. 

But he has to push through, he can’t slow down, he has to find those two guys and nab their little machine that’s apparently a doomsday device or something, he doesn’t know when they will use it, or where, so slowing down now is absolutely out of the question.

“woah hey there man, are you alright?”

he’s startled into complete stillness, and then he’s just thinking about how this guy looks like a fusion between Robin and Superboy, he can picture it perfectly in his head, fully animated dragon ball fusion style.

it’s SuperRobin, real name Ton, or maybe Kim.

getting distracted, he was asked a question, better answer.

“yeahI’mfine” he wheezes, very believable stuff.

“no you’re not, do you need a hand? sick Impulse cosplay by the way”

So, yeah, Danny pesters Bart into at least eating and drinking something, he says that if the two guys, who are now identified to Bart as the guys in white also known as the GIW or the Ghost Investigation Ward… and Bart going “oh I know a ghost! she’s really great” and Danny being pleasantly surprised.

but anyway if those guys do anything he will know, cause apparently they are very loud and quite destructive. and that’s honestly no comfort to Bart cause he knows what the future is gonna look like, but also he’s about to pass out and that would be super uncool and also make him totally useless anyway so… eating and drinking first it is.

Danny is a local, which is useful cause Bart only knew the route he needed to take for his previous mission and not really anything else regarding this place. And he tells Bart that he’s screwed with the GIW before so he knows how they operate. it fucking sucks that Bart accidentally aided apparent government bad guys… the others can never find out…

Overall, working with Danny is pretty great. For a civilian the guy is very resourceful. he’s witty, smart, funny, a lot stronger than he looks, honestly maybe the SuperRobin fusion thing he thought about before has some merit… are there any hidden clone labs around? billionaires with zero morals? yes? no? maybe?

Bart simply told Danny that he needs the machine from the white suit guys for future superhero reasons. and he’s fully intending on just handing it over to Robin, hopefully while not having to explain why he has it in the first place, and see if he can figure out how it’s gonna cause the world to end so they can make sure that can never happen.

Danny says that the machine is probably just an anti ghost weapon of some kind. Bart is skeptical, because first of all, why would anyone need anti ghost weapons when magic is already a thing and works on them just fine. Like all the superhero exorcists that Bart knows use some form of magic, well he guess anti ghost weapons would be useful for the bats, but that begs the question why is the government going around trying to shoot ghosts? and why hasn’t Bart heard of this before, cause this sounds like something Robin would enjoy telling him about.

But Bart, with significant help from Danny, manages to… confiscate (steal) the machine from the white suits.

he promises Danny he’ll visit, cause they are friends now, it’s official. And he would love to introduce him to the others as well.

Once back Bart still gets lectured of course, and Tim does reveal that yeah, the box really is just some sort of ghost trapping device, and he’s keeping it.

Bart doesn’t really care, the only thing he cares about is that everything is back to normal and he even got a new friend out of the whole ordeal.

It's then that Robin brings up a new member for Young Justice who will soon be joining them, and Bart is completely confused.

Everyone else is confused at Bart’s confusion, this was already known a week ago? and Bart figures that something did change somewhere somehow anyway, that’s fine.

Kon reminds Bart of the new guy’s callsign, apparently it’s Phantom.

Bart tries to imagine what they would look like, but at the moment he can only picture Danny in a SuperRobin outfit.oh well, hopefully this just means that Bart manages to get two friends out of this whole mess.

[ghoulphile]

janey's dad | c.h./the ghoul | teaser

➥ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader ➥ word count | 465 for the teaser, overall wordcount tbd ➥ overall warning(s) | 🔞 smut; age gap (i hc reader to be late 20s but i tried to leave it vague enough), cowgirl position, biting, hair pulling, choking, squirting, teasing, pining, lipstick kink, breast/nipple play, masturbation (m), porn w/ feelings, porn w/ plot, mild angst w/ happy ending, coop's pov to start - rest of the fic will be in reader's, divorced!coop, babysitter!reader, pre-war/bomb ➥ summary | "We really s-shouldn't - oh fuck - be doing this." ➥ notes | here's a teaser for the fic i took a poll on, some people wanted more info 😊 coop is a big dick dilf fite me. feedback is always appreciated ❤️ lmk if you want to be tagged feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | masterlist

Divorce is hard, but being a divorcé is downright hellish.

Ugliest thing in the world, if Cooper Howard has any say.

It's not like being a Marine with a gun in hand, being told where to point and shoot, or an actor reading off a script. There's no guidebook, no crash course. These people aren't nameless threats coasts away or co-workers following a cue.

In fact, his 'enemies' aren't enemies at all.

They have names: Barb, so smart it hurts, and sweet little Janey, his very own North star. Sometimes looking at them rips open a hole in his chest that'll never close, edges jagged and sore. The phantoms of family, of happier times, found in the glint of a smile or a peal of laughter.

See, war's something he understands. Something he's good at.

But these domestic battlefields where he's gotta look his ex-wife in the face, and struggle to meet his daughter's eye? Barter this weekend and that holiday? To pay for the privilege of his child's presence (he does, he will, she's worth every goddamn cent he's ever made)?

To look down the barrel of a smoking gun only to find the woman he loves staring back; he doesn't, can't, comprehend that. Because once upon a time, he was happy (with her) and life was sweeter than pie.

Now he's nothing but a washed up actor who struggles to land a call back let alone make his monthly alimonies. His marriage has failed, his reputation is in shambles, and his bank account is dryer than the Mojave.

Barb gets the house. He gets the dog.

And caught in the middle of it all is his little girl; the only thing he’s got left worth while. He wants to protect her, provide for her the way she deserves — only he seems to fall short every goddamn time.

The mistakes and missteps keep stacking up against him; such is his new life in all its raw, unglamorous glory.

Look how far the mighty fall.

Lucky for him — the first bright thing that's come his way in a long, long while — a sweet, young woman moves into the apartment next door. Of course, it isn't long before Janey takes a shine, always so friendly.

Thankfully, you're just as good with her.

It only makes sense you'd watch her when a gig runs late. Rustle up some grub and put her to bed whenever he slinks in through the door, stripped to the bone.

And if he takes himself in hand late at night, stroking his cock to the thought of you down on your knees in that pretty little sundress? Imagines the wide stretch of your lush mouth as you peer up at him from between his thighs when he cums hard?

Well, what you don't know won't hurt you.

After all, he promises to keep his hands to himself.

part 01 of full fic

[bloodsbane]

what i love about laios is that he's actually very good at putting puzzle pieces together BUT HERE'S THE THING 1) he needs to HAVE the information, and 2) (this is important) he needs to KNOW it is information he should care about

and i think this could be said of anyone but the thing with laios is that people tend to view his lack of awareness wrt social etiquette and memory problems as pure indifference and/or obliviousness; sometimes they misinterpret his motives based on their inaccurate expectations of him and therefore don't give his thoughts on a subject the credit he deserves

one of the most obvious examples of this happens at least twice in the manga as i remember it, but the most recent incident was when they were trying to resurrect falin. there's a moment where laios mentions reconstructing both of the warg skeletons, as their bones are mixed in with hers. both chilchuck and senshi balk at this, with chilchuck complaining aloud, questioning laios' priorities,

and laios quickly, angrily retorts. his reason for making the suggestion is perfectly logical and practical, but because his friends are used to his interest in monsters influencing his judgement, often in ways they see as frivolous or dangerous, they don't come to the same conclusion. one which i'd argue is kind of obvious considering the situation

we see it again during his fight with toshiro, where toshiro demands to know what laios plans to do to save falin. laios takes a minute to answer, but he DOES answer, following the logic that if falin is a chimera because of (and controlled by) the mad mage, then the logical next step is to confront/defeat/usurp them

then in the following episode, when chilchuck brings it up again, laios explains what he (now) knows about thistle, mentioning that he's the same elf that laios saw in the living paintings, which is why he knows thistle's connection to delgal. the party reacts like this:

i'd say this is an example of them feeling frustration over laios' habit of having 'bad timing', not knowing when or how to speak at appropriate moments. theyre judging him for not saying something earlier, as if he already knew all this but didn't think to mention it when it was relevant, when the reality is that laios only just now had all the pieces he needed to understand the full picture

and i mention this bit specifically because i think it's a great way to explain what i mean by point 2: laios needs to know when information is important and worth considering

which, again, feels fucking obvious. but as someone who ALSO has debilitating issues with remembering important shit, i find this particular element of it pretty relatable and critical to my overall point. it's not laios' fault that he didn't know who thistle was or his significance - why the hell would he assume that a person he met in a living painting, presumably long since dead in reality, should be someone who's face, name, or motives he keeps in mind?

ultimately, i guess what i'm trying to say with all this is that the way others treat laios' intelligence is not congruent to how actually smart he is. one of the things i love most about laios, what is possibly his biggest strength and the reason he is such a great protagonist, is that laios is willing to think things through and find the most logical conclusion to a problem, no matter how outlandish or dangerous or seemingly impossible that conclusion may be. sister got eaten? race back down to go get her. can't afford food? fight, defeat, and eat dangerous monsters. sister's fully digested? use black magic to bring her back. now she's a chimera? defeat the mage controlling her and use that power to fix it.

anyways. what was even my point with this post? i guess it is that laios is smart, at least as smart as anyone else in the cast, arguably smarter than some. he is intelligent and utilizes that intelligence in many ways, not JUST when it comes to monster info (though that is his best and sexiest brand of knowledge)

and also please be nice to your friends with memory problems. it's rough out here for forgetful bitches

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ THIGH RIDING.

fandom. honkai star rail

pairing. argenti, blade, dan heng, gepard, jing yuan, seele x gn!reader

content warnings. nsfw, MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI, thigh riding, not edited/proofread

word count .0.7k

notes. for my favorite whores and our obession with thighs <3 edit: welt does not have a part in this fic!! i copy pasted this whole text above with infos abt the fic from another one and forgot to delete his name, very sorry :(

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ argenti.

to argenti, beauty was elegance, close to perfection. this is what he aspired to be, a knight touched and blessed by the gods themselves— just not in warfare. but seeing you like this, the first time, messy and whiny on his lap, your skin flushed and eyes shiny with tears refusing to roll down your cheeks— it’s truly mind blowing. he’s enchanted, the way you move your hips, grind yourself hard on his thigh and hearing the whimpers that escape your lips. you’re a mess but you’re still oh so beautiful. 

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ blade.

he knows how much you enjoy riding his thighs. he knows it and he will use it against you, finding amusement in your eyes focusing on the garter belts he likes to put on, when you really should focus on something else. he will tease you for hours, not coming near you and making sure you don’t get any wrong ideas. when he finally thinks the torture is enough and you deserve some mercy, he will haul you towards the bedroom and place you on his thigh. and even then, when you’re slowly but surely loosing your mind, he doesn’t help you. instead he leans back and watches you with half lidded eyes, how you whine and pant on his lap. 

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ dan heng.

dan heng simply enjoys thigh riding because you find pleasure in it. he was first confused, why you wanted to ride his thighs, when he had a dick you could ride so much better, but then were clinging onto him, calling out his name while you chased your orgasm. and he could only hold your hips, utterly enchanted by every noise and movement you did, watching how you came undone on his thigh. and you? you love sitting on his lap, a thigh between your legs and grinding on his muscles, chasing your peak with frantic moving hips, all while he murmured low praise in your ears, eager to see you shake in his arms. 

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ gepard.

gepard is always the more flushed between the both of you when you ride him, be it his dick or his thighs. but there is something different when you make a mess of yourself and drag him with you, his uniform soiled and wrinkled, just because you’ve been riding his thighs until you were shaking in his arms. it overwhelms him every time, your moans and high pitched whines filling his ears and fogging his mind, your whimpers making him lightheaded— even when it’s you, who always comes undone on his lap, it’s him that ends up as a complete mess. 

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ jing yuan.

jing yuan thinks it’s amusing, the way you’re so fixated on his thighs. be it in his uniform or out of duty clothes, you always try to find a way to admire them. and your enthusiasm, when he asks you if you want to ride his thigh, only confirms it to him. you ride them as if it’s his dick, hips frantic while you grip his shoulders, head thrown back while moans escape out of your mouth oh so shamelessly. it’s amusing to him, to see how fast and hard you can cum by simply riding his thighs— sometimes even harder when you’re in the office and you’re ruining his pristine uniform. and he loves to share his amusement with you, teasing words making you shudder while you plead for him to stop and do so much more— oh how he loves it when you come undone.

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ seele.

seele knows about the enjoyment thigh riding can bring, but she can’t lie, she prefers you to be the one doing the riding. the feeling of your legs around hers, your arousal wetting her muscles and helping you to glide over her skin smoothly— all these sensations, paired with your oh so pretty moans and whines, it’s truly heaven for her. to see you so messy is akin to seeing you free, free with your desires and passions, for her eyes only. and to see you above her, gasping for air while your whole body shudders, is one of many fantasies she can witness as much as she wants. 

ARKHAM MAID 2023

[fluentmoviequoter]

Broken Heart Mender

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!cop!reader

Summary: After hearing Tim tell Angela why he's not in a relationship with you, you pull away and make yourself sick with a broken heart. After too long without hearing from you, Tim finds you and promises to make everything better.

Warnings: reader gets sick (vomiting, headache, losing weight, crying), slight miscommunication, angst to fluff & hurt/comfort

Word Count: 2.4k+ words

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Picture from Pinterest

“You know, you’re here a lot for someone who doesn’t work here,” Smitty points out.

“And you’re here a lot for someone who doesn’t work at all,” you argue playfully.

“She’s got a point,” Tim adds, shrugging at Smitty’s offended look.

You smile at Tim as you walk out, needing to return to your own station after spending too long on paperwork (to visit Tim). He’s been your friend since you were a rookie, and now he’s so much more.

You and Tim are safe places for one another; whenever one needs it, the other becomes an unlicensed therapist, a no-strings-attached hugger or cuddler on bad days, and a good listener, no matter the time or problem. Part of why you’re so willing to do such things for Tim is because you have feelings for him, a long-harbored crush that grows each time he’s kind to you or asks for your advice.

Tim, however, will happily listen to your problems and provide a shoulder to cry on, but he prefers to show his care by being what some (Angela) might call a ‘protective menace.’ He’s had feelings for you for as long as he can remember and shows it by staying close and keeping you out of harm’s way.

Whenever you run into each other at work, you find a way to stay together, and while Tim protects you, you try your hardest to make him smile. You like doing small things for him to make him happy because he deserves it. Likewise, he stays close because you deserve more than anyone can ever give you.

The only problem is that you’re both scared to let your feelings show, so you disguise it as friendship, a special bond that no one can break. Only a few people, those willing to look, can see that there’s more to your actions and words than a time-tested and bulletproof friendship.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim sighs when he sees Angela sitting at his desk.

“Don’t you have work to do?” he asks.

“You have questions to answer,” she replies, moving out of his seat and blocking the door. “I want to know about you and your friend.”

Tim rolls his eyes at her tone and air quotes. She has asked him about you before, but she’s relentless.

“Why aren’t you in a real relationship? Why haven’t you asked her out?” Angela inquires.

“Not your business, Lopez,” Tim answers.

✯✯✯✯✯

You slow as you near Tim’s office, his voice and Angela’s drawing your attention as your smile drops.

“Just tell me why you won’t let her in that last little bit,” Angela demands.

“Not that it is any of your concern, but we won’t work. We’re not made for each other, we’re not soulmates, and we will not be good for each other, not like that,” Tim snaps.

Swallowing, you feel like your heart physically drops into your stomach, making you nauseous as you fight tears. You leave before Tim or Angela notice you’re outside, unwilling to see Tim after learning how he feels.

✯✯✯✯✯

“What does that mean, Timothy?” Angela asks, quieter as she digs for the real reason.

Tim shakes his head, not ready to admit that he doesn’t consider himself relationship material. Regardless, you deserve someone better than him, though he has never considered it the other way around: you are too good for him and always have been.

“You’re right, it’s not my business. But it is hers,” Angela reminds him before leaving.

✯✯✯✯✯

Distancing yourself from Tim is hard, but after his comments to Angela, it’s what you have to do. Tim doesn’t have feelings for you and thinks you aren’t good enough, which hurts. More than your feelings, you are mentally distraught. Your emotions are all over the place, swinging aimlessly from anger to denial to an overwhelming sadness that makes it impossible to do anything but cry.

After a long night of fighting with your emotions, you try to eat breakfast and realize that the hurt is physical, too. Rushing to the bathroom, you empty your stomach before moving to the floor as your tears continue. Losing Tim is the worst pain you’ve ever experienced, and this is only the beginning.

The alarm on your phone goes off, and you pull yourself off the bathroom floor and get ready, ignoring the pain building behind your eyes and the churning sensation in the pit of your stomach. It will be a long day, but if you can power through, you will take some time off next week.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim is neck-deep in paperwork for a Metro case, but every spare second he has is spent calling and texting you. You don’t answer, and Tim can't do anything as his worry increases. He realizes Angela was right, and you deserve to know how he feels and why he keeps you so close, yet not close enough.

✯✯✯✯✯

By the end of the day, you haven’t been able to keep a single thing down, and you’re not sure if the emotional or physical pain is worse. Collapsing onto your couch, you let the tears begin anew as your week of PTO begins and your life as you know it ends.

Each day seems worse than the last, as you get sicker and sadder with each passing moment. When you summon the courage to step on the scale on Sunday morning, just three days after hearing Tim’s comments, you’ve lost a concerning amount of weight. You know it’s dangerous, but between the constant crying and the anxiety and sadness eating at you, there isn’t much you can do. There isn’t much you want to do except find a way to make yourself good enough for Tim Bradford.

✯✯✯✯✯

It’s been days since Tim heard from you, and he’s worried. When Mid-Wilshire gets called to assist your station, he hopes to see you. Tim searches the crowd of blue until he finds your partner.

“Bradford,” your partner greets.

Tim asks where you are, curious as to why you aren’t together, and your partner explains that you’ve been off work since Saturday, sick with something.

“Do you know if she’s okay?” Tim asks.

“All I know is it has to be bad for her to take this much time off,” your partner explains with an apologetic shrug before being called away.

Tim’s protectiveness kicks into overdrive, his worry keeping him from being able to focus on anything else. He finds his captain and tells him what's going on before asking if he can go check on you.

As he drives to your apartment, Tim hopes it’s not as bad as it sounds while beating himself up for not coming to visit you sooner. The ignored calls should have been a sign that something was wrong, but he let work get in the way. Though you aren’t there to hear it, Tim promises he will never neglect you again.

✯✯✯✯✯

It takes a minute to realize that the pounding sound is someone knocking and not an effect of your headache. Stumbling to the door, you answer it without checking who it is. When you see Tim’s face, you try to close the door, but you’re too weak, and Tim is too quick.

He rushes inside, looking at your pale face, unruly hair, and how your clothes hang off of you: an indicator you're unhealthily losing weight. It’s enough to push his protective side to action even as he fears the worst.

“You should go,” you tell him.

Tim ignores you, walking to your kitchen and setting water on the oven to boil. While he waits, Tim straightens up your apartment, moving quickly from room to room. He hasn’t spoken to you yet, and as you watch him, your emotions take over again.

With a few tears running down your face, you raise your voice and say his name. “You need to go.”

“No,” he answers simply. “You need help, you’re obviously sick and you’re not answering my calls.”

Tim's presence and how he acts like nothing has changed, and he’s still the protective friend he pretends to be, hurts you.

“Tim, get out!” you demand.

“Let me help,” he argues.

Shaking your head, you walk to your room and close the door, curling around your pillow as you cry. Each noise Tim makes in the kitchen feels like he’s laughing at you, and you don’t know how much more of this you can take.

He lets himself into your room after knocking, setting a mug of tea beside your bed, and rubbing your back. He notices how you stiffen but thinks it’s because you’re sick.

“What do you want to eat?” he asks.

“I want you to go.”

Tim nods, more to himself than you, and walks out of your bedroom. 

You hear the door close behind him and roll over, unable to decide if you want to drink the tea or throw it at the wall.

✯✯✯✯✯

The following morning, you wake, and the first thing you remember is Tim leaving yesterday. Yes, you asked him to, but it still hurts. The cold mug beside your bed is a cruel reminder of everything you’ve lost. Rolling out of bed, you reach for the water on the nightstand. After the first drink, you race for the bathroom, wondering how long it takes for a broken heart to heal.

Someone pulls your hair out of your face, a kind hand pressed to your back as you cry. When you feel able, you lean back against the tub behind you. Tim moves back, wetting a washcloth before he kneels beside you. As he wipes your face and neck with the cool rag, you wonder what he’d do if you gave him an out.

“I heard what you said,” you admit quietly. “That we wouldn’t be good together.”

Tim slows his movements as he listens to you.

“It hurt.”

Fresh tears break over your waterline, tracking down your cheeks. Tim realizes that he’s the reason you feel so bad; that one comment made to protect his feelings, to hide them, made you feel so bad that you’re now physically sick.

“Hey,” he begins, moving to sit before you when you turn away. “Listen, I know you don’t want to believe me, but I only said that to get Angela to leave me alone, to protect myself. I don’t think that.”

“But you said it,” you point out tearily.

“I know, and I’m sorry. The truth is we wouldn’t be good together, but not because of you, never because of you. It’s me; I am not made for relationships and I’m not good enough for you.”

You choke on a sob, leaning toward Tim. He extends his arm, letting you move against his side.

“Since we met, I’ve wanted more,” he whispers against your hair. “But I was scared you’d realize I’m broken and leave… like everyone else.”

Shaking harder against his side, you cling to him as all your emotions mix. There is a chance this is a dream, but if you have to lose Tim, this seems like the best way to say goodbye.

“C’mon,” Tim urges gently, pulling you with him as he stands.

With a gentle hand on your back and one on your shoulder, Tim leads you to the couch. Covering you with a blanket, he promises to come right back. When he returns with a glass of water and a pack of crackers, you turn toward him.

“Are you going to leave?” you whisper.

Tim shakes his head. “Never.”

Nodding, you accept the crackers. After you eat a few and drink half the water Tim gave you, you sit back.

“I cleaned your apartment last night,” Tim tells you. “You want to change and clean up?”

You take a deep breath, and Tim senses your apprehension before adding, “I’ll help you.”

Taking Tim’s hand, you follow him back into your bedroom. After you change into the clothes he hands you, you sit on the bathroom vanity and let him wash your face and secure your hair.

“When’s the last time you ate? More than a few bites, I mean,” Tim asks, laying a hand on your thigh.

You shrug before admitting, “Last Wednesday.”

Tim’s jaw clenches, but he hides it with a quick nod. “I’m going to make you some more food. I know you probably don’t want to eat, and you don’t have to eat much, but you need something.”

Moving your hand onto Tim’s, you interlace your fingers with his. He leans in, releasing a chuckle when you throw your arms around his neck. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulls you to the edge of the vanity.

“I missed you,” you whisper in his ear.

“I missed you too,” he responds.

✯✯✯✯✯

As you dry the ends of your hair while you exit the bathroom, you feel like a new person.

“We need to talk,” Tim says when he sees you. Your smile falls, and Tim takes your hand. “Not like that,” he promises.

“Like what?” you ask, curling your legs under you as you sit beside him.

“I meant what I said, but I need to make sure you know that. I have feelings for you, I have for a long time, I’m just terrified to show them because I’m not good enough for you.”

Boldly, you press your finger to his lips to stop him. He raises his brows at your movement, smiling with you.

“Yes, you are. You’re more than good enough. That’s why I fell in love with you.”

Tim pulls your hand away from his face, kissing your finger as he does so. “Even though I broke your heart and made you sick?”

“Broken heart sickness is curable, and you’re a pretty good doctor,” you tease, leaning toward him.

“I promise to make it better, and never do it again.”

You nod, trusting him entirely. Now that you’ve had a shower and heard that Tim feels the same, your stomach growls.

“It’s working already,” Tim says.

“I’m hungry again,” you marvel, smiling at Tim.

“I’ll offer a trade,” Tim begins. “A home-cooked meal for you, and a kiss for me.”

You nod, but Tim adds, “And I promise never to lie to protect myself again. I’ll tell you exactly how I feel, as long as you do the same.”

“I feel like I love you, Tim Bradford,” you reply, pulling him in for the promised kiss.

Your kiss is better than he expected, and Tim loses himself in the feeling of you until your stomach growls again, and you laugh against his lips. Tim broke your heart, but he put it back together with a piece of his; the best-broken-heart-mender in the world was by your side all along.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA if

i had a falling out with this friend of mine, who is also a tumblr user. there have been a lot of reasons for that, and one of the many-many reasons were her political views, that are generally considered questionable by people around here. people usually wanna know if the person they're interacting with is that type of a person. disclaimer: she's not like. A Bigot. or something. it's just that a lot of people are uncomfortable interacting with someone who holds those views.

she's like, not exactly open about them but reblogs a ton from people who are and made a couple posts that make them obvious.

however, she likes interacting with all kinds of people despite their DNIs and stuff, because she thinks there's no harm as long as they don't know, even if it's all on her blog.

now, to the aita part. we don't follow each other anymore but tumblr recommends her posts to me a lot, perhaps because we used to be mutuals/i have some of her posts liked and i cba to go through all my likes to unlike them. no, i don't wanna block her because i don't block people. as a matter of principle. i tried filtering her username out but i end up always clicking on the post anyway. i'm one nosy bitch, what can i say?

sometimes, she posts about my hyperfixation. something that is very dear and important to me. i don't know the reason why she's doing it because she knows nothing about it and doesn't care about it, but sometimes she makes throwaway comments "based on what she heard" (so, based on what I told her while we were still friends).

and for every time she does so that i end up seeing (happened like 5ish times now), i send one of her mutuals who would be uncomfortable interacting with her had they known about her views an anonymous ask about it. i don't leak anything personal that she'd told me or anything of the sort, i just link the accounts of people she reblogs from and some of her posts on the topic like "hey, take a look at that". each time, it results in the person blocking her and thanking me for telling them in a separate post.

on one hand, i'm technically doing the right thing, since these people hate interacting with people like her, and they just didn't browse her blog enough to know that that's the kind of person she is, even though it's all open source. they're grateful i told them, too.

on the other, i'm doing it for incredibly childish and selfish reasons. had i not seen her bring my hyperfixation up, i wouldn't have done that because i'm not mother theresa like that. but for that reason, it brings me immense satisfaction to do so. especially when she posts stuff like "omg, (name) blocked me... why" and has no clue why. in my mind, it's punishment for touching something that i consider My Thing. i kind of want her to someday understand what's going on, even if it's stupid and territorial of me. like that's what's gonna continue happening if you continue touching My Thing, not giving it the respect it deserves at that too. as i've said, she only regurgitates the stuff i told her because she doesn't care about it. i have a suspicion she's only doing it to piss me off in case i still visit her blog. no idea but it does piss me off. and doing what i described really calms me down.

so, aita?

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Three: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship, menstruation, sexual content, pervy behavior, male masturbation, murder, serious illness, needles [eventual warning for smut; be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin loves you SO much that he’s disgusting about it. He’s extra delusional. Anakin doesn’t love drama HE IS the drama. He's still a massive Perv [diary entries from Ani] MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: June 27th

I came to the diner tonight, I love to see you wait tables. You’re so kind and sweet, even to the assholes and shitheads that don’t deserve to breathe your air. Your beautiful smile, those pretty eyes and how you bat those long lashes, that bell-like giggle you pull for those nasty old men’s jokes.

I know it’s not real, but it’s fun to watch you pretend baby. And just as fun to listen to your annoyed retelling of your night when you get home. Gods I could just listen to you talk for hours. Watching your face change as you speak, the acute movements of your eyebrows and lips that tell me how you really feel.

You’re just like me, more than you know.

I ordered some coffee, sat at the bar one of those red spin-y stools, and listened to your sweet lilt tell lie after lie to your customers.

You’re a busy, busy girl aren’t you princess?

Sorry for the messy writing, it was difficult not to laugh as I wrote these little white lies of yours.

1. Saving up money for a car: true, but doesn’t get you good tips

2. This is your second job and life on your own is just real hard: I’m amazed that this one works as well as it does, really pulling on those old lady heartstrings huh?

3. ‘Sorry guys, I’m just- having a hard day. You understand right?’ *sniffle* the only thing those guys understand is the masculine urge to stop a girl from crying and if shoving a few extra bills under their dirty plate makes your day ‘better’, they’re gonna do it.

I don’t know how you continue to use that one on those poor fools, it’s always the same few guys too. They really think you’re something special huh?

You are of course, very special. But they don’t know you like I do. They don’t know that you’re full of shit. I know for a fact you had a really good day. I was there.

You cheeky little minx.

4. Your mom is out of work and you’re helping her out: your mom is out of work, but you’re definitely not helping her out. She wouldn’t take your money if you offered it. (You wouldn’t offer it over your dead body.)

Can’t blame you for this little lie though, your mom really is a piece of shit. Exploit that bitch all you want, she deserves it. I’ve seen those nasty posts she made about your friend. All that because he’s gay?

Oh no! It’s contagious! It’s the vaccines! Gluten!

Come on lady, it’s 2023.

5. you’re getting married! I fucking wish. But, not yet princess, you won’t need to worry about anything when it’s time for that. Thats what I’m here for, I’ll make sure you get everything you want.

6. ‘It’s on the house honey.’ I was so jealous hearing this one for the first time. You’re just absolutely rotten aren’t you? Refills are free.

You’re perfect for me and you don’t even know it.

Diary Entry: June 28th

Angelic. Cherubic. God-kin.

A biblical beauty if I’ve ever seen one.

The way your hair creates a halo around your face. Tendrils gracing the soft contours of your cheeks, the twitch of your nose when you shift just alittle too much and a strand tickles it. The subtle pull or purse of your lips that tells me you’re deep in the land of dreaming.

Sleep is one of the most basic human needs. It’s not meant to be as glorified as you make it, but somehow you do.

It’s intimate. They way your breathing slows and your body melts into the soft hands of sleep. It’s an event that I’ve been graciously given the opportunity to witness.

It was so, so, so worth waiting for.

SleepyTime Tea, a cute name and of course perfect for my purposes. You drank a cup almost every night. It’d been on my mind for a while and I figured… it couldn’t hurt to open it up and help you get an even better sleep.

Now that I’ve had the privilege of seeing an angel at rest… well I don’t think I could ever witness anything more breathtaking.

Except for maybe your sweet little pussy.

I checked and double checked the measurements on those sleeping pills I promise. I would never ever hurt you sweetheart. I was so anxious, trying to make sure I got the mixture perfect.

It worked like a dream. Didn’t it?

Damn right it did. Worked well enough that I was able to tuck your hair behind your ear and kiss your forehead before I left.

I also did you a little favor or two as well while I was there. It wasn’t a completely selfish visit.

I replaced an old beat up scrunchie, it was past time for you to retire it in my opinion. Now it’s serving a better purpose: squeezing the base of my cock while I fuck my fist to the sounds of your desperate moans, both of us needy for a never quite satisfying finish. If only I had the courage to open that door.

You need a man sweetheart. You need me. Those toys of yours just don’t hit the spot for you do they? Hurts my heart that it takes you so long… and I know it’s not on purpose. I can tell the difference.

Nothin’ can mimic that sinful feel of flesh on flesh.

I took out your bathroom trash, I know you hate doing that. And maybe I accidentally knocked your toothbrush off the sink.

Sue me.

But I promptly rectified the issue, I just so happened to notice you were out of brush-head refills a few days ago and came prepared. You’re welcome baby.

I also purchased the same brand of brush that you have.

Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Date:

June 29th

You woke up, rolling out of bed at 9:30. An absolutely ridiculous time to be awake on what was meant to be a lazy stay at home day. But alas, you are a good friend, and good friends go through with their plans.

Even if you made those plans a month ago and completely forgot them.

Your cat laced it’s way through your legs while you stood on unsteady feet. You’ve really gotta stop with the caffeine, it’s definitely not normal for someone as young as you to wake up with the shakes. But you’re a creature of habit and an absurd amount of sugar and caffeine were included in those habits.

Staying true to those habits you made your way to the bathroom across the hall, absentmindedly grasping at air for a few seconds before realizing your toothbrush wasn’t where you always left it. With a frustrated groan you looked around and saw that someone… or rather something had knocked it into the floor.

“Boogie!” You turned around and made your way to the living room, interrupting her morning routine by scooping her up and forcing her to face the music.

“How dare you.” You whispered, trying to pull out a stern voice. “I don’t have any new tooth brush heads. What am I supposed to do you little shit?”

You bent down, picked it up and popped the replaceable head off, tossing it into the… empty trash can? When did you take out the trash?

Whatever. Focus. “You better hope I have a spare regular one.” You shot a nasty glare at your cat who sat unbothered on the bathroom counter.

You searched through the cabinet below the sink and through all the drawers and found none. Not even that travel one from last year’s vacation. Finally you opened up the medicine cabinet-mirror combo and was pleasantly surprised but also annoyed, to see that you did actually have a replacement.

“Well shit.” You scoffed, “I should’ve just checked there first.”

Next on the list was a giant tumbler of coffee and a hit of your vape for breakfast. Delicious.

You searched in the catch-all drawer in your kitchen for a hair band, not finding any of the small black ones you settled for a stray scrunchie that lived in this drawer specifically for circumstances like this.

Grabbing the light blue silk scrunchie you went to slide it on your wrist and gather your hair but stopped mid movement. No sharpie mark. You could’ve sworn last time you wore this it had a sharpie mark on it from being trapped in the drawer with a cap-less marker. Weird, but not weird enough to care about.

With your caffeine withdrawal taken care of and your morning duties finished, you slipped on some tennis shoes, grabbed your small backpack and walked to the gym two blocks away. Your wonderful and lovely, much more active friend had invited you to a yoga class to meet ‘someone who isn’t a lazy bastard’.

Which… doesn’t really make any sense considering your last boyfriend liked to lift weights but couldn’t bear to lift a finger to help you.

But you love Luke, and Luke loves to play matchmaker. So you’d suffer through this with a smile. It couldn’t hurt and it might be fun, if all else fails at least you got to hang out with your friend and giggle at him drooling over the ‘guy with this sexy scowl, big broad shoulders, oh my god he’s so soft but like in a buff way it’s insane.’.

“Lukey!” You jogged up to him where he was waiting for you outside the gym.

“You’re late.” He stated sternly despite the little smile curving his lip.

“No I’m not. It’s 10:20.” You scoffed.

“Yes and class starts at 10:30.” He retorted.

“I’m not sure if you know this, but 20 comes before 30.” You said feigning concern as you touched his forearm while walking inside.

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes, “I mean you’re late to meet this guy I was telling you about!”

He shoved you gently past the various equipment and to a smaller room with mirrors along one wall. He very conspicuously pointed toward a younger guy with… a mullet?

“You’re joking.” You gasped. “Luke I swear to god you’ve gotta be kidding.” You squeaked smacking his arm.

“What?!” He squealed, pulling his arms up to his chest and curling in on himself. “Stop I didn’t invite you to kickboxing! Ow!”

“A dude with a mullet?” You glared at him.

“Wait till he turns around, the mullet will be forgiven I swear.” He said, holding up his hands in an offering of peace.

That peace treaty was immediately ripped to shreds when Luke loudly dropped his metal water bottle on the hard floors, a smile that could beat the devil’s smirk on his face.

The guy whipped his head around, eyebrows raised in concern, soft greenish tinted blue eyes taking a moment to glance over you.

“Everything alright?” He asked, a soft accent lacing his voice as he walked over to you.

Is it strange to say that a man with a mullet is… graceful? Yes, it is.

“Oh yeah, everything is fine.” You answered quickly, not missing the snicker that Luke made when he kicked the water bottle over to you.

You bent down and picked it up, holding it with a grip that would surely snap your officially ex-best friends neck in half.

“Here let me take this for you.” The blonde haired stranger said, reaching out for your backpack and for some reason you let him take it.

He just… exuded a calming energy. No wonder he likes yoga, he’s probably the most zen person you’ve ever met. Everything about him was soft and comforting. His voice, his beard, even his knuckles as they ghosted across your arm when he grabbed your bag.

“Th-thanks?“ You said in a statement that sounded more like a confused inquiry.

You followed him and Luke inside, the blood draining from your formerly flushed cheeks when he unrolled your yoga mat in the front row. What kind of cosmic curse has Luke unleashed? You shot him a look to burn through brick but he just seemed giddy as if you weren’t planning on disposing him in the sewer after this.

“I’m Ben, your instructor. Luke told me you’d be coming today, he mentioned you’ve never taken a class like this before?” He looked over at you, an understanding smile on his face.

THE INSTRUCTOR?

“R-right yeah. No, I’ve never taken a yoga class before.” You shook your head and introduced yourself in return, holding out your hand for a hand shake and being utterly shocked at Ben’s reaction.

“I’m a hugger, hope that’s alright darling.” He laughed softly, enveloping you in a warm embrace that could smelt iron. It certainly made you malleable, maybe even alittle bit melty.

The kicker though? A kiss to the side of your mouth.

You blinked at the audacity, did he just-? But as he pulled back you realized it wasn’t a creepy thing… it was a friendly thing. He just greets everyone that way because he’s a genuinely kind person. You knew that to be true because he turned and did the same to Luke, ending his with a firm pat to his shoulder.

A little green monster clawed it’s way through your stomach at the sight, but you drowned it quickly with the use of your knowledge as a sane person. You don’t know this guy. Luke brought you here because of this guy, he’s not after him, he’s after Beefy McBeef in the corner. You don’t know him, you’re purely getting jealous going off the fact that he is pretty and the realization that you’re not special.

You spent the rest of your time thinking peaceful thoughts to chase away the images of Luke’s tiny pea brain being squished betwixt your fingers for this horrible idea of his, while failing many attempts to mimic the variety of poses and stances Ben showed the class.

Even Beefy McBeef was doing better than you, and you could definitely see why Luke had his sights set on him. Masculine, but not in an intimidating way. He’s right, he’s soft but buff.

After class ended Luke insisted on dragging you over to Ben to say goodbye.

“Thanks, I enjoyed the class.” You said awkwardly, forcing a polite smile.

“Oh I’m so glad, I was hoping you would.” Ben said, a bright smile on his face, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

“I’d love for you to come back next week.” He said sincerely, reaching out to give your arm a gentle squeeze that made your mouth dry.

“I’m not super sure that yoga is my thing, but I’ll definitely think about it.” You smiled, surely he’s just being nice. Like he was earlier.

“Well if yoga isn’t your thing, I’m sure we can find something that is, hmm?” He chuckled, ripping a scrap of paper from his class schedule and scribbling his number down.

“O-oh.” You blushed. That was the smoothest pickup line you’d ever heard… you couldn’t even be mad about it. “Thank you, I’ll… text you later?” You said unsure about your own words.

“No rush darling,” he gave you a warm smile that matched the softness of his hand that took yours and pressed his lips to your knuckles.

When he pulled back he’d somehow snuck the slip of paper into the palm of your hand, he left you there buffering. You turned slowly to look at Luke who was standing there with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Your turn.” You said sternly, nodding toward Mr. McBeef.

“No.” Luke said with an air of finality, scooping up his bag and spinning on his heel toward a few of his class friends.

Luke so kindly helped you make a fool of yourself. It’s only fair that you return the favor. You marched over to Beefy with a sweet smile.

“Hey!” You said, introducing yourself to him.

“Hey little lady.” He chuckled, taking your hand for a handshake, his palm dwarfing yours. “Names Han.”

“Han. Suits you.” You added with a small smile.

“So, Han. You know Luke?” You said, nodding in his direction.

“Y-yeah I do,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck with a nervousness you didn’t expect. “Why?”

“Luke is- he’s alittle shy.” You said in a hushed tone. “He’s been talking about you an awful lot.”

“Me?” Han questioned, a downturned grin creeping up his lips as his eyes darted between you and your friend who’d migrated across the gym.

“Yeah, you.” You laughed, “he’s got a massive crush.” You gave him an accomplished grin.

“H-he does?” He gulped, starting to get red in the cheeks. “He’s hardly ever spoken to me.”

“Like I said, he’s shy.” You reminded him gently. “You should go talk to him.”

“Yeah… I will.” He smiled, standing up and placing a kind hand on your shoulder.

“Go get ‘em Beefy McBeef.” You said in a tone so normal that he almost didn’t notice.

“What did you call me?” He laughed.

“Beefy McBeef.” You shrugged, unable to hide your devious smile. “that’s what Luke calls you.”

“No he doesn’t.” Han laughed, big and hearty, Luke turning his head with a jealous scowl until he realized he was laughing with you and it morphed into a mask of pure panic.

“Oh yes he does.” You said firmly. “Can you do me a favor?” You asked.

“Sure babe.” He laughed, still recovering.

“Introduce yourself to him as Beefy McBeef.” You said with pleading eyes.

“Seriously?” He laughed, almost a giggle if you could consider a guy like him a giggler. “What’d he do to you?”

“Just trust me when I say he deserves it.” You said sincerely.

“Can do.” He shook his head with a snort and made his way over to Luke.

“Hey, Luke.” He said, a slight tease in his tone. “Just wanted to introduce myself.” He stuck out his hand and watched with amusement as Luke struggled to comprehend what was happening.

Good. You thought. He deserves alittle embarrassment after the way he forced you into conversation with Ben.

“Beefy McBeef.” Han said, struggling to contain his laughter as he shook Luke’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

You watched from behind a nearby pillar as Luke turned fire truck red. He frantically searched for you until he spotted you with a massive grin and waggling fingers.

“I’ll kill you.” He threatened but there was no real malice in his voice.

“Sure you will Lukey.” You said with a laugh, running over to the wall where you’d propped up your bag and tossed it over your shoulder. Blowing Luke a kiss as you walked out of the gym.

After returning home you showered and sat down on the couch, resigning yourself to rotting on the couch. You’d done your good deed for the day, two actually:

1. attending a social event

2. helping Lukey talk to Han

You’d also done your one terrible deed for next few months. It’s never intentional that you do something bad, except this time it was. But was it really all that terrible if it got Luke what he wanted? Nope.

Add that to the good deeds list then.

3. embarrassing Lukey while helping him talk to Han

All’s fair in love and war.

Speaking of potential love and possible war, you rummaged through your bag to fish out that phone number, you even dumped out all the contents and searched your clothes as well.

It was no where to be found and you were actually kind of bummed about it. You can’t go ask for his number after all that, that’s just… embarrassing.

Shit.

Diary Entry: June 29th

Sweetheart.

If I knew you didn’t love Lukey, I’d have been scraping him off the sidewalk right about now. That little twerp was trying to set you up with someone else.

I know it’s not his fault. He’s being a good friend, he just wants you to be happy. He doesn’t know about me and that’s okay, it’s all okay.

But god, could he have picked a worse guy? I mean… really?

*Ooh look at me and my beautiful luscious locks.* GAG.

I could tell he was making you uncomfortable so I got rid of that little paper as quickly as possible. I would’ve hated for you to have the reminder of that fucking creep. The way he kissed your hand? What the hell was that?

So, I slipped it out of your bag and stayed around to listen to your sinister revenge plot.

I’ll say it again baby, you’re more like me than you know.

Ps. Beefy McBeef? Please.

Diary Entry: July 1st

I’m not an unreasonable guy baby. Really I’m not, but you’re on your phone so much. It just really bugs me you know? We don’t spend quality time together like we should.

I want you to dance around and sing. I want you to lay in the living room floor and color. I to watch you suck ass at MarioKart and laugh when you get frustrated and scrunch your nose.

I want to watch you read so I can read aloud to you, with my e-book copy. I want to watch The Witcher with you, I love that show. Shits cool as fuck, sword fights are so awesome I’ll ignore the fact that you only watch it for Geralt.

He’s not real and I am. So fuck it, can’t hurt to fantasize. I’d be one hell of a hypocrite if I said you couldn’t.

Anyway, sorry I’m rambling.

Are you okay? You’re just… quieter. Is it something I’ve done?

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I think I’ve figured it out sweet girl, I did some online research and replayed some footage. You’ve not been taking your birth control like you should. Come on baby you gotta remember to take it on time alright? Skipping it and taking it out of routine will mess you all up and we can’t have that.

I’ll try my best to remind you.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

You know me, I’m always worried.

Just… I’m gonna need to borrow your phone so that I can install some software for you. I’m just alittle concern that you’re hiding something from me princess. I just want to make sure you’re okay.

Diary Entry: July 2nd

That SleepyTime tea is a lifesaver.

God I just feel so relieved knowing that I can monitor you. I swear it’s not in a weird way, I just needed to make sure you were in a good headspace you know?

Your search history is so funny. I makes me happy to know you’re just as goofy as me. It also makes me happy that you’ve not searched anything concerning.

Your socials are clean. Your camera roll is full of cute pictures of you and your friends, as well as a few of your ex that I swiftly trashed for you. Maybe just a few naughty ones in the hidden album, don’t worry I didn’t stare. I’ll have plenty of time to do that in person.

Your texts are mostly dry. That’s a good thing though, that means you have more time for me. Even better? No dating apps. Good girl. Those are terribly dangerous, they should require a background check for users, you never know what kind of weirdo is on the other side of that screen.

I’m proud of you babydoll. You’re such a good girl, my good girl.

I’ll help you stay a good girl too. Your phone is mirrored to my laptop, so I’ll be able to see everything you see. No room for mix-ups or miscommunications between us this way.

Communication in relationships is so important.

Which is my reasoning behind the new phone software. You understand don’t you doll? I mean, I can only tell so much from your diary. You like to write and that’s amazing, it’s a great outlet and you should keep up with it. You’re the reason I started my own journal. You were so right when you said ‘it sorts my thoughts and soothes my heart’.

I never thought I’d be a journal guy. Look at me. Self care king.

Diary Entry: July 3rd

I have the most amazing news princess, after careful research and a very thorough deep dive into all of your neighbors, I’ve come up with the perfect solution to our distance issue.

Did you know that the old man across the hall from you is a widow? Poor guy, 10 years without his wife. They were married for 53 years. 53.

That’s the goal baby. That’s the kind of love I have for you.

If Alan Jared Nelson is anything like me, he’s miserable without Gloria Anne. Just like I’d be miserable without you.

He’s sick you know? He’s on a wait list for a liver, has been for 2 years. Isn’t that just the worst kind of hope? It’s cruel really.

Why give the man and his remaining family the hope of a ‘few’ more years, knowing damn well the guy is old enough that he might turn to dust they minute they cut into him. Why put him on the list at all? He’s 92. No one is giving him a liver.

The liver disease he’s diagnosed with is a doozy too, it’s aggressive, painful, and necrotic. He’s in constant pain. He’s got a port for morphine.

Do you know what kind of horrible pain a person has to be in to get a morphine port? Excruciating.

Alan has lived a long and beautiful life. Between the heartache of loosing his love and the debilitating disease he suffers from… it would be a mercy to lay him to rest don’t you think?

He’s a patriot through and through, he was in the army reserves. Now, that’s not my cup of tea but good for you Mr. Nelson.

America’s birthday is a good day for a guy like him to die isn’t it?

Date:

July 4th

Anakin counted the windows over and over, repeating the number in his head as he quietly trekked up the creaking rusted fire escape on Mr. Nelson’s side of the building. Not only was tonight a poetic release of this man’s long and happy existence, it was a very good cover.

Majority of the city was busy watching the fireworks at the celebration in the park, including you. Anakin had ensured you’d left before he even considered walking over to your building. He couldn’t bear the thought of committing a heinous, though arguably merciful, crime in the vicinity of such a pure form of radiance.

As expected the din of booming explosions and crackling sparks masked the noise of the quiet power drill Anakin used to remove bottom piece of the outer frame of the out-dated window. Internally cursing the fact that you lived in such an old building, there’s absolutely no way that these windows are up to code. It might make this task easier, but it made him a nervous wreck to think someone could break into your home in under a minute as long as they brought a drill and a magnet. The process was almost silent, you wouldn’t realize anything was amiss until it was too late.

Once the piece of frame was laid aside Anakin used the heavy duty magnet to coax the loose curved clasp that held the window shut, out of the hoop that it rested in. He sighed, thinking he should definitely complain to the super once he moved in. The ease of breaking and entering wasn’t comforting in the slightest.

Sure it was a wonderful thing for Anakin, there would be absolutely no trace of the break in. The man is old, there would be no autopsy, there are no outdoor cameras on this building or the one next to it. This unit is tucked into a well hidden alleyway and no one saw him walk this way. But his worries were based on thoughts of you and your well-being.

Anakin sprayed Wd-40 along the tracks of the metallic frame and waited a moment before wiping off the excess, hopefully ensuring a silent entry.

The moment of truth arrived, Anakin lifted the window just a hair to test it. Finding it whisper quiet despite its age as he opened it and stepped inside.

The interior of the home was just as you’d expect, family pictures, a fridge covered in cards and handwritten reminders. An obscene amount of carved wooden trinkets and the forever mysterious wooden fruit that seemed to adorn the tables of many an old folks homes. Apples and roosters strewn about the space in the form of paintings, lampshades and oddly detailed itchy blankets.

A gorgeous abalone jewelry dish held a silver pendant, trapped beneath was an intricate lace cover that seemed to be made specifically for the coffee table they rested on. Upon closer inspection Anakin determined that it was tailor made. Gloria Anne Nelson must’ve been a talented craftswomen, the quality of work was amazing.

Alan’s display of his wife’s work, her jewelry dish and her favorite engraved pendant… he’d made an altar for her and probably didn’t even realize it. He’d even placed a tall, thick white candle next to the abalone dish. It left Anakin with a lump in his throat, imagining the horrible loneliness this man must feel.

He stood up from his crouched position and took a breath, smoothing his shirt to iron out his emotions. There would be time for proper mourning and reflection later.

He walked toward the short hall that housed Alan’s bed room and bathroom, but stopped short when something on the wall caught his attention.

A calendar depicting a summertime scene of a lake and a small fishing boat was tacked to the wall above the dock for his home phone, a small note pad and pen resting beside it.

A small smile turning the corner of his lip, the sight bringing a fond memory of his grandmother keeping a set-up very similar to this. Must be a universal old person habit.

He stepped closer to read the writing in the small squares and came to the realization that this calendar was not up to date. This calendar was from 2013, ten years ago.

Anakin knew from his deep dive into the Nelson’s life that Gloria had passed on July 16th, but he didn’t realize that July 4th was the anniversary of Gloria and Alan’s first kiss.

She’d kept up with that anniversary for the entirety of 53 years. Poetic.

He took a look around the kitchenette and living room again. Really and truly looking this time, not just glazing over the bigger items, the things that caught his eye. This time he looked at the in between.

He wished he hadn’t. He wished he hadn’t cared enough to pay attention, it was something he’d never forget, an achievement he’d strive for for the rest of his life.

Alan’s home was a shrine.

A neatly kept time capsule full of warmth and fondness. It oozed from the very walls of the space. Gloria had never stepped foot in this space, but she dominated every inch of it. Her devoted husband had rebuilt his life in her image, even in death he worshipped her just as Anakin worshipped you.

A heavy weight settled in Anakin’s heart, this was the right choice. This confirmed it.

He quietly entered the bedroom, Alan’s C-PAP machine humming with a rhythmic flow of air, in, *scish*, *puftk*, out. It was soothing in a strange way, or maybe it was just a relief from the suffocating silence that compressed Anakin’s lungs when he was absorbing the space past the door.

He kneeled at the edge of the bed, pulling a small tube of lidocaine from his jacket hoodie pocket, along with a pair of gloves that he quickly donned. Wincing at the snap of the latex against his sweating palms, but the man continued his peaceful slumber, unaware that it would be his last.

He lifted the corner of the blanket and grimaced as he placed a small dollop of the cream via his index finger between Alan’s fourth and fifth toes. He didn’t even flinch.

Anakin kept the time on his watch and waited until the ointment did it’s job to numb the tender flesh. Fishing a small needle meant for insulin injections from a ziploc bag in pocket. Drawing a bit of air into barrel before carefully pricking the soft skin, holding his breath as his victim twitched.

When he stilled Anakin gently pushed the plunger and created a pocket of air in a vein that would soon end this poor souls life on earth. He withdrew the needle and stored it and the gloves in the ziploc bag, returning the blanket to its previous position.

He should’ve left then, but morbid curiosity had a tight hand around his wrist. Urging him to stay and wait out this event to its completion. So he tugged up his hood and stood motionless.

No one should be alone in their last moments. The least Anakin could do is provide silent support from the darkened corner. He counted the seconds on his watch until the man’s fingers twitched and his throat visibly tightened as a gurgled ball of air left his lungs. His eyes opened, wide and terrified as his body acted of its on volition.

Wrinkled hands weakly pawing at the C-PAP that was fitted over his head, Anakin watched his chest heave and collapse rapidly, the swell of his ribcage caving in on itself with each labored breath.

He’d heard of the ‘death rattle’ before but had never considered it to be anything other than a wives tale, until now. Alan’s choked coughs and gasping breaths reverberated in his chest and rolled up the stretch of his esophagus, coming out in a groan muffled by his lolled tongue.

He brought his fist to his chest in weak thumps, while his other reached over the side of the bed in the general vicinity of the night stand. It’s incredible what the human brain is capable of during such critical moments of stress. Anakin watch with a fascination that went beyond curiosity, wondering how the hell this guy was aware enough to try to grab the phone laying there.

Alan let his head fall to the side and his fading eyes blurred, but didn’t miss Anakin’s figure. To him, he was just a silhouette of midnight black. For some reason Anakin noticed a bit of the fear leave Alan’s tired eyes, softening as though he was accepting his quickly approaching end.

He stopped struggling, stopped reaching for the phone and instead held out a shaking hand to Anakin as though he wanted him to take it.

What kind of monster would deny a dying man?

He stepped forward on silent feet until he clasped the man’s wrist and felt his weak grip on his. The leathery skin was clammy, sickly to the touch and it made Anakin’s stomach churn.

“Death?” A small creaking attempt at the word eeked out of Alan’s lips.

“Yes sir.” Anakin responded. Was it true? No. But was it a lie? Also no. He was and he wasn’t.

“A-about…” the old man heaved, spittle flying from his mouth. “About damn time.”

Anakin was usually quick on his feet with his quips but this man’s nonchalant attitude, his welcoming of his fate was unexpected.

“Sorry Mr. Nelson.” He chuckled. “I’m a very busy man.”

He laughed. A rare occasion if not the only occasion that someone’s dying breath was a laugh. Anakin’s brow pinched together, wetting his lips with his tongue before chewing the inside of his cheek as he watched the life drain from his eyes.

Once his hand went slack and limp Anakin gently laid it across his chest, checked for a pulse and found none. He patted the old man’s shoulder and turned to exit the room, he didn’t look back and he didn’t take another breath until he set foot on the fire escape and the window was shut. Making quick work of closing the clasp and reassembling the metal frame.

He took a shaky breath and checked his watch. Bewildered by the passing of time. He literally couldn’t comprehend it, pulling out his phone to confirm. The times were indeed matching.

Three minutes and 57 seconds.

He was only inside for three minutes and 57 seconds. He felt like hours of his life had flown by, he felt both aged and more alive than he’d ever been. The only thing he could compare this feeling to was… the feeling he got because of you.

He’d done a good thing.

Alan said so himself, the man was ready, beyond ready to embrace death. Anakin had done him a favor by taking his life returning his soul to his soulmate.

It gave him a warm feeling in his chest. He thought maybe he would feel sick, he almost did, until he didn’t. He decided not to question his contentment, instead pocketing it to tuck away in the recess of his mind that he stored his more unhealthy thoughts and experiences in.

He liked that about himself, his ability to compartmentalize at will. He liked to be neat and tidy, it was only natural that his mind mirror that. He knew that it was just his mind’s creation; his mind didn’t really look like a neat room of filing cabinets.

He had one for childhood memories, one for his favorite happy memories, one for his mother, one for his friends, one for his work life, one for his home life. But the two most important things housed in the confines of his skull were the golden pedestal holding the beautifully crafted, one of a kind ceramic vase he poured his love for you into; and The Pit.

He didn’t like The Pit. His inner self kindly transported the things that belonged there via a lockbox and unceremoniously tossed it over the edge at a safe distance. Even the figment of his imagination in this scenario was too afraid to peer over the edge of the chasm. He’d never heard anything hit the bottom, if he got too close he would fall, and fall, and fall, and fall, and fall for eternity.

Then what would you do? Suffer through a sad existence like poor Mr. Nelson?

No. He can’t let that happen. He won’t let that happen. You’re to precious, too pure, too good to experience anything but radiant joy.

He breathed in relief as he found himself suddenly outside his front door, he’d traveled on autopilot.

He showered and tucked himself into bed, exhausted and drained emotionally. But not too much, not enough that he could neglect his duties. He checked the tracker on his phone, pleaded to see that you were abiding by your unspoken agreed upon curfew. Home before 2:00am. Always.

It was only 12:30. Good job princess.

He waited, following the little blue dot to the larger red one and switched over to the live camera feed and witnessed you chatting happily on your phone as you trotted up the stairs.

He thanked his past self from this morning and grabbed the laptop from his nightstand and patiently waited for the mirror image of your phone updated.

Luke. It was just Luke making sure you got home safe; maybe Luke wasn’t too bad after all. He wasn’t a threat to Anakin in anyway and he was concerned with your well-being. Not as much himself of course but enough that Anakin could throw a smidgen of respect his way, it’s nice to know he already has something in common with your best friend.

He did his routine night-time walk through of your device, seeing that you’d turned on your alarms for the next day already. He smiled fondly, his sleepy girl.

He turned up the sound on your bedroom camera, plugging up his phone and putting the laptop on the night stand. He placed his phone next to his head and listened to your breathing slow and relax.

He loved this. Sleeping with the sound of your soft snores and mumbled sleepy words. It was an intimacy that he craved to manifest into the flesh world.

Soon he would.

Someone please tell me that if you’ve waitressed/known a waitress who’s done shit like that?? If not I just told on myself for being a big fat liar.

Part Four

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[triviallytrue]

I see the benefit in “was able to follow along each step and check for myself that the stated claim was true” but I’ve also seen people say the private vetting process can include things like “had a phone call with them where they fluently spoke the Palestinian dialect of Arabic” that can’t be checked by everyone, or “privately showed me their ID/birth certificate/bank info/official documents”, which probably shouldn’t be publicized. if these sorts of things (which seem fairly reliable if true) are indeed being involved in the process in at least some cases, how do you think people should vouch for that beyond a “trust me it’s vetted” without further clarification, or is it impossible to do so from your perspective since they could just lie?

so my suggested solution to these would be:

post a recording of the phone call, so that other Palestinian Arabic speakers can also attest that it's true

post redacted, watermarked versions of official documents

but you're getting at a very big problem: it takes a lot of information to vet people. the post i reblogged was only able to vet that one fundraiser because she's a PhD with a linkedin, instagram, tiktok, and pictures of her on a scientific organization's website. most people won't have that.

at a certain point, it also becomes a nightmare for the vetters (all or almost all of whom i suspect are just people trying their best in a horrific situation). if it takes an hour (or more) to fully vet one single gofundme, there are a single digit or low double digit number speakers of Palestinian Arabic on here with blog histories that stretch back before October 7th with the ability to vet people, and hundreds of gofundmes... well, you do the math.

this is the kind of work that is normally done by people who are paid to do it full-time, in a centralized fashion, not ad-hoc on the internet. amateurs are going to make mistakes - i've seen blogs successfully filtering out unsophisticated scammers, but this current discourse has already rooted out at least 3 scammers who made it onto the vetted lists. it's asymmetric - scammers can do this full time, hone their methods, figure out what exposed them last time and fix it, and overall iteratively improve the credibility of their scams, but vetters can't really keep raising the standards with the time and resources they have access to.

so unless we make the standards so high that they exclude many actual Palestinians (standards like the ones used in that ask), i think there will be some risk of even vetted fundraisers being scams. how big? 1%? 5%? 10%? i don't know, but it's definitely nonzero, and based on the uncovered scams so far, they are diverting thousands of dollars (possibly tens or hundreds of thousands) away from actual Palestinians.

which is why i think people should just donate to the UNRWA. there's a 100% chance your money will go to helping real Palestinians, and while it won't be as impactful for an individual as getting them across the Rafah crossing, that's only an option for a very small percentage of Palestinians anyway. as said before, there are 800,000 Palestinians in Rafah, something like 500 of which cross each day. those that can't cross and the Palestinians in other parts of Gaza deserve aid as well. people are at risk of starvation and have very limited access to medical care. donation to the UNRWA and organizations like it doesn't free anyone, but it does keep them alive, and the money doesn't end up in the pockets of corrupt Egyptian border officials who will wring every penny they can out of Palestinian refugees.

people are, of course, welcome to do whatever they want with their money, but those are my 2 cents.

[simpleeindulge]

The Beast and The Mouse🔞

Info: KidxFem/reader, too lazy to mention everything but this chapter is for the mature only!🔞 Hints of rough sex, slightly forced, cussing and some foreplay.

Warning: Long! I probably should have cut it in half, but after the hiatus, I figured a long chapter wouldn't hurt. I hope you enjoy it!

Please keep in mind that this is the first time I have written smut with Kid. Enjoy!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Part 4: The One in the Mask

@ella157 @bdudette @faetoraa @elen-alambil @buckysxgal @ryuv1i @ilovespicykimchi @stuckinthewrongworld @ninablue @kookydoesstuff @Kimyk10br

The energy on the ship felt strange but Y/N supposed it couldn't be helped. After all, she did stab the captain.

It didn't matter that she didn't kill him. It didn't matter that he had asked, no, commanded her to do it, and it certainly didn't matter that he deserved it. She stabbed Eustass "Captain" Kid, the bastard.

Her attack on Kid gave Y/N mixed notoriety among her crewmates. There were some in the crew would questioned whether she could be trusted. Others saw it as a right of passage and that the Captain wanted to test her even though he never tested anyone before.

Whatever they choose to believe, they all agreed it was best to stay away from Y/N. At least the men did anyway. The women, on the other hand, had their own opinion that Kid got what he deserved for pushing a knife into Y/N's hand.

"Don't sweat it, love! Kid is too stubborn to die from a knife wound. Everyone in the crew knows that!" A tall blue-haired girl named London said as she threw an arm around Y/N.

The other women in the dorm laughed as they passed around a bottle of cherry whiskey.

Quincy giggled and commented slyly, "Yeah, it's not like you damaged anything important! That would be a tragedy!"

The others snickered as they made lewd comments, then went back to settling in for the night. Y/N blushed as her gaze dropped to the cup of booze she held in her hands.

"I don't understand why he is so mean to me," Y/n said softly.

Dive gave Y/n’s knee a gentle pat as London waved off her comment.

"What can we say?! The guy is a jerk." London said casually, then held up her glass and cried, "But he is our jerk!" The other women cheered and drank to her words.

As the other women returned to their own gossip, London and Quincy moved closer to Y/n when they saw that the toast didn't cheer her up.

"I just don't get it. It's like he wants something from me, but I don't know what it is." Y/N said her thoughts out loud as the trio listened. "Every time I think things are better between us, Kid does or says something that destroys any progress made."

Quincy and London looked at each other with brows raised as Dive patted Y/n's knee again.

"Kid is like that, and you can't take it personally. Besides, if he didn't want you here, he would have gotten rid of you long ago." Dive explained.

“Yeah,” Quincy nodded with a grin, “He would have literally tossed you overboard.”

London seemed to agree but added, “I think Killer would give you the courtesy of a heads-up before it got to that.”

Y/n sighed since Kid did try to get rid of her on her third day aboard the ship, and Killer was trying to talk him out of it. The reasoning back then was that Kid didn’t think she could handle it, but hadn’t she proven herself to him by now?

"I guess not, but what is it going to take?" Y/N thought as she took a sip of her drink.

“Hey, Y/n, have you talked to the Captain since stabbing him,” London asked with a curious glance. Y/N sighed and shook her head no.

Y/n hadn't heard or seen him for three days while sailing. Even her training with Killer had stopped, so she chose to train on her own. The ship had stopped at an island the day before for supplies, so Kid spent most of his time on land exploring.

The rumors she overheard from the male crew members about Kid's time on the island made her feel sick. He apparently visited a popular establishment on the island and was seen drinking with women, then taking a few of them to the rooms above the bar. Y/n knew it was silly to feel upset or betrayed. The first time she saw Kid, he had a woman in his lap. Still, it was hard not to feel a tight knot in her chest when she thought about Kid with other women.

Y/N tossed back the rest of her drink, hoping the cherry-flavored alcohol would knock her out so she could wake up with her common sense restored.

"What we need," London said brightly as she stood up and put her hands on her hips, "Is a girl's night out! We get to go ashore tomorrow night, so let's live it up!"

From her back pocket, London pulled out a flyer with gold lettering that read, "The Garden." Quincy grinned at her and said, "Now that's an idea! I've heard rumors about that place."

She turned to Y/N, saying, “This is exactly what you need!”

"Why do I need to go to a bar? I can drink on the ship," Y/n said with a smile.

Quincy rolled her eyes. "It's not just a bar. It's-"

“A brothel,” Dive gasped and laughed as she pointed at the name on the flyer. "That's the place the Captain been going to!"

"A brothel," Y/n said blushing as she stared at London's and Quincy's wide grins. "I thought that…"

“What? That only men go to brothels?" Dive snickered.

"I'm mean..."

Y/N looked between all three and realized how naive she still was about the bigger world outside her own experiences. She then picked up the flyer and read the short, punchy description.

A place for all to gather and share their hidden desire. All are welcome. Women drink for free.

Y/N frowned at the "women drink for free" line and read further down in smaller lettering that women who help entertain or keep company for a guest drank for free.

She shook her head and said, "I don't know, isn't there another place we could go to have a girl's night?"

London grabbed the flyer and pointed to it, saying, "Free, Y/N! Free!"

"Only if we entertain!" Y/N said as she blushed.

Quincy smirked and said, "Oh, I've been to one of these places.” She then looked at Y/N and said, "You don't have to sleep with anyone. Just be friendly if someone talks you up or asks for a dance."

"And if you meet someone you want to sleep with, then the guy pays for use of the room." Dive finished explaining with a grin.

Y/N paled as Quincy grinned back at her. "Best part is that it's lady's choice of whose company she's keeping."

“But I-”

“Come on, Y/n! You worked at a bar! You know how to talk to drinking men! And it's not like you have to sleep with anyone!” London said as she pleased with her eyes.

“Unless you wanted to,” joked Dive, who gave her an encouraging look.

"It is a great stress reliever." Quincy sighed, then shrugged, "If the guy is good, anyway."

Y/n looked at her new friends and sighed.

"I guess I can give it a go."

The trio cheered and hugged Y/N, promising she wouldn't regret her trip to The Garden.

Kid scowled as his skin prickled at the energy of the place. Ordinarily, he would be excited to come to a brothel and find a woman or three to spend the night with. Now, the idea turned his stomach, and it annoyed him.

Why should it bother him to pick up women?! Killer was right! This was what he needed. The night before was...not a success. Yes, he drank with a few women and took them to a room, but his damn body wouldn't cooperate! So he drank the night away and passed out, but not before threatening the women into silence.

What he needed was the right woman to get over his desire for Y/N. It irritated him that not just any woman would do. He thought about finding someone with the same hair color or body type as Y/N and was immediately repulsed by the idea. No way could Kid settle for anything less than what he originally desired. What he needed was someone better than Y/N. Kid scanned the room as he and Killer walked to an empty table.

"We could ask the proprietor if she has any suggestions." Killer suggested to Kid, as a masked barmaid brought their drinks.

Kid scoffed and tossed back his drink. He then looked around the large bar. All the women were dressed in simple white or cream dresses and different color masks. The men could dress as they pleased, but women were required to wear this uniform if they wished to participate.

A clever scheme since a poor drunken bastard won't be able to tell the difference between a whore from the brothel and a woman just looking for a good time till it was too late. Kid took another drink as Killer waved over the Madam of this "garden."

"Hello, gentlemen; how may I be of service?"

This woman wore a golden cloth mask and a dress with her hair pulled back. Her both her eyes and voice gave away the maturity of her age. Kid ignored the woman as he sipped his drink and watched the women in the bar and then the men. He usually could go either way, but that damned 'mouse' was fucking everything up for him.

"I see," The madam mused. "I think have what you are looking for in my garden this night."

"Forget it, I don't pay for sex."

The woman stiffened, but she stayed cool as she studied Kid. Her sharp eyes and years of dealing with men told her just about everything she needed to know.

She smiled cunningly and said, "You were unsatisfied with your choices last night, so how about this? I bring you a woman who fits your needs. If she satisfies you, you will pay for the use of the room. If she doesn't, then you pay nothing at all."

Kid peered over at the woman and then scoffed. "I'm guessing the price of the rooms just got marked up."

The woman shrugged her shoulders as she held her smile. "Well? Do you agree?"

Kid looked at his drink and said, "Throw in a few free rounds for me and my buddy Killer, and you got yourself a deal."

Killer had to give credit to the woman. She felt any irritation she hid it well.

"Very well," The madam replied, waving over a girl from the bar. The girl hurried over and placed two new drinks on the table. "Enjoy, gentlemen, and leave the rest to me." She walked away with an equal calmness that showed how long she had worked in this business.

Kid then picked up his second drink and began to work on it as Killer studied the people in the crowd. Killer didn't want to bring up Kid's mouse problem, but his buddy's behavior was concerning. He knew what happened last night, and that wasn't all like Kid. They needed to get rid of the girl Killer thought as he took a drink.

"Maybe this is a good place to leave her."

Killer nearly choked and glanced at Kid, glad that he didn't have to bring the idea up to him. It was odd to see a woman get under Kid's skin so easily by simply existing. Since the incident with the knife, Kid had distanced himself from Y/N, but he wasn't the same. Getting rid of the girl would be for the best and it was better to let it be Kid's idea.

When he didn't say anything else, Killer carefully agreed with him.

"It's not a bad town. Plenty of work. Not a shit hole."

"Nope, definitely not a shit hole." Kid agreed and chuckled. He took another long sip and stared at the women and men gathering at the bar. "Looks like some of our crew is here." He grinned, pleased to see them having fun. He then frowned as he searched for Y/N among the masked women. He could pick out London, Quincy and Dive, but not Y/N, who he knew hung out with them.

"She's not here, Kid. I saw her working in the sickbay before we went, and the other women said they couldn't convince her to come."

"Fuck," Kid growled as he ran a hand through his hair. This was agonizing. He was supposed to be having fun and not giving a shit about anything. Later, he would have more important things to think about. This was no time to lose his grit over some girl. Kid tossed back his drink as he made up his made. Y/N will leave the ship tomorrow, and he will be the one to kick her off.

He set his empty glass on the table and stood up. Kid didn't feel in the mood to be out drinking, but he didn't want to go back to the ship just yet.

"You alright?" Killer asked.

"Peachy, I'm going to go for a walk. Tell that woman to forget our deal and to shove it up her ass if she complains."

People moved out of the way as Kid cut through the bar space and into the hallway leading to the exit. The entrance hall had two winding staircases leading to the rooms upstairs. As Kid moved closer to the middle of the staircases, he saw the madam of The Garden at the bottom of the left staircase.

He noticed she was speaking to a woman standing further up the stairs, and as he moved by, he couldn't help looking up at her. One look and Kid's blood went cold.

There was no way. Killer said that Y/N was back on the ship. Kid stared at the girl wearing a black cat mask over her face, but he swears that it was her. But her hair color was different from Y/N, and it was styled. Her body shape looked the same, but he doubted that his 'mouse' would have the nerve to dress provocatively and look at ease while out in the open for all to see.

The madam seemed to be instructing the girl as she talked in a low whisper while jesting with her pointed fingers. The girl nodded obediently and then turned to walk up the stairs. As she turned, her eyes caught Kid's staring at her. She was too far, and the mask made it hard to see her eyes as he tried to make out their color. She stilled, her red lips parting in surprise. Kid felt his blood heated back up, and his mind sped up.

This was the woman he was looking for to release his frustrations on.

The woman then looked away and continued to climb the staircase as if brushing him off. Kid growled and started to follow after her.

"Ah, you saw her." The madam cut in front of Kid, sounding pleased with herself. "She is fairly new in my garden, but I think you will find her satisfactory."

Kid glared at the woman, but she didn't flinch or move out of the way.

"She's one of yours?" He asked angrily, staring her down to see if the madam was lying.

She only grinned and nodded, then replied coolly, "As I said, if you find her pleasing, then you only need to pay for the cost of the room, but as you had mentioned earlier, the price will be triple its worth."

Kid grunted and then looked to the exit. He had no real reason to return to the ship, but something told him he should forget about the woman's offer. Kid moved to the doors, but then thought about the woman waiting for him upstairs.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!" His mind yelled at himself for being played. Just this once, he told himself, just this once he will have the fantasy.

Kid didn't look at the madam as she called out the room number he needed. Couples moved out of Kid's way when they sensed his aggression while heading to his room. The lights in the halls on the upper floors were dimmed, and as he passed door after door, Kid could hear muffled sounds, but he stayed focused on where he was going and what he would do. When he saw the door with the number he needed, he walked in as if he owned the small room.

Candles lit the room's corners, and a small fireplace cracked as it provided the only other light source. The woman spun around, her feathered bottom robe swaying around her nylon-covered legs. She had a hand holding her robe closed in front of her as she eyed Kid and said nothing as he entered the room and closed the door.

He stood across from her and looked her over to see if he could identify her, but she was a stranger to him. From where he stood he could see that her eye color was different from Y/N.

"Mask off," he then ordered.

The woman tilted her head at him, then opened her robe and let it slide down her arms to show him the lingerie on her body. Her top was bare, with only her lower half dressed. Kid grinned as his eyes traveled from her collarbones, over her curved chest, and to the sheer black panties that hugged her womanhood tightly. It was a perfect sight to his curious eye.

"Very nice, but I want the mask off."

The woman straightened her head and lifted her hands to the back of her head. She first let down her hair and then untied the mask. Kid stepped forward as the mask loosened and fell into her hand. When she looked up at him, Kid was annoyed to see a second mask, like the ones the women at the bar wore, still covering her face.

His hand moved to snatch it off her, but she caught his wrist. She then stepped forward and let go of him. Kid stared coldly at her. He remembered Killer telling him this place was popular with the locals because of its discretion. Meaning if a noblewoman wanted to know what it was like to be with a pirate or a marine with a pirate, it was possible here.

Not that this woman was either, but he doubted a whore cared about her identity. The clever madam could have lied about this woman being one of hers, but as she started to remove the last bit of lace from her body, Kid decided it didn't matter. Her skin was smooth and healthy looking, and she had the right amount of curves and fat on her body. And most importantly, his cock was willing as it started to stir in his pants.

Without thinking, Kid pulled the woman to him and put his mouth on her neck. The woman gasped and moaned as her head rolled to the side. Her nipples tightened with excitement as his hand ran down her back and slid over the curve of her hips.

"Fine," He whispered into her ear. "Keep your silly mask, but you better prepare yourself if you're going to fuck around with pirates. Especially me."

Her breathing became shaky, but she didn't speak or pull away. Kid smirked and sucked harder at her neck, making the woman release a surprised cry. The sound made his cock jump, making him want to hear more of her voice. He then lifted her and dropped her on the bed. She made a sound that was a mixture of surprise and annoyance as she bounced on the mattress. Kid only chuckled as he moved over while undoing his pants.

If this woman was looking for something slow and easy, she made a big mistake, Kid mused maliciously as he moved over her on the bed. The woman's eyes widen as she becomes trapped underneath him. Kid thought she was going to protest, but instead, she ran her hands over his chest and then dragged her nails over his shoulders.

Her nails bit into his skin, leaving angry red lines. Kid found the stinging pain a comforting release. His breath shuttered, and his eyes closed as her lips went to the base of his neck. As if paying him back, her teeth press into his skin hard enough to leave an imprint.

Kid shoved her back down, and the woman glared at him, but he ignored it as he lowered his head to suck at her breast. His tongue licked hard at her nipples, and the woman struggled not to make a sound as she gripped his shoulders. Her nails dig into his skin and Kid let out a breathy laugh, liking the treatment the woman was giving him.

He sucked harder at her breast, making the woman toss her head, and then forced a choked cry from her when he pulled at the other tight bud with his fingers. When his teeth scraped a nipple, she yelped and tried to smack Kid's face with her hand.

Kid moved away and chuckled at her. Whoever this woman was, she was gusty. A shiver went down his spine when his eyes met hers. They challenged him, but Kid could see a hint of anxiousness. Though they were a different color, Kid couldn't help thinking of Y/N.

He growled and roughly flipped the woman over to her stomach. He needed to stay focused and remember why he was here: to get laid and back to normal. The woman tried to lift her head, but Kid pushed on her upper back to keep her still.

"Stay down." Kid growled gruffly at her. And don't look at him with those damn eyes!

Kid shoved a finger in her to see if she was wet enough. The woman grunted and huffed but she didn't move to look at him. Kid was surprised to feel that despite his rough treatment of her, she was wet.

"You like it rough, I see," he said with a grin as he traveled down her back and over her ass. "That's good because it's going to get rougher."

The woman peered over her shoulder at him, then wobbled on her hands when Kid pulled one of her legs to make room for him. He then pressed himself against her sensitive flesh. Kid grinned wildly when he heard her take a breath and purposely thrust forward without any warning.

The poor woman choked on her exhale as Kid gritted his teeth to hold back the groan that wanted to crawl up his throat. After weeks of no relief, this was the sensation he was missing; this was what he needed. Kid wanted to dive further into her without caution, but her small size could only take so much of him without more preparation. The woman gasped and moaned as she tried to twist herself away.

"Fuck me, I bet she's a virgin," Kid's mind cursed as he slid back and tried to push more of himself into her, only for her to cry out in pain.

To Kid, virgins were only fun in theory, but in practice, he found them to be too much work and needy. He snorted and told himself that it was not his problem if she planned to have her first time in a brothel with a stranger.

Kid gripped her hips to hold her still as another groan threatened to escape his throat when she whimpered and tried to get away from him. The sadist in him was loving this. He saw no reason to be gentle with a woman who allowed herself to be put in the hands of a pirate. Kid was ready to start satisfying his lust when a part of him that he wasn't familiar with took possession.

“Relax.”

Both he and the woman stilled at the calm tone of his voice. Kid blinked and allowed himself to be possessed by whatever secret entity moved him to be gentle. He bent down and said huskily into her ear, "Just relax."

The woman seemed to side-eye him as her hands gripped the sheets, not completely trusting him as she tried to relax her body in his grasp.

The asshole in him wanted to take advantage and force himself into her, but instead, he reached around and rubbed his fingers on her clit. She let out a gasping cry and began to moan as her body wiggled and relaxed further.

“And people say I can’t do anything nice”, he thought with a pleased chuckle as he milked moans from the trembling woman under him.

The woman struggled at first not to let out her voice, but as Kid teased her by stimulating her clit and slowly pushing his cock forward, she gave up and let her breath do what it needed to keep her alive. Kid swallowed thickly and even groaned as the woman clenched and relaxed around him. A dark chuckle escaped him when she pushed herself back onto his cock to try and take in the rest of him.

This is enough of a warm-up for her; time for the real fun, Kid thought as he changed his pace.

He pulled her closer and drove himself deeper into her. She screamed into the air as her pussy stretched and held him in her. She then made a slight laughing sound that stroked Kid's ego. He grinned at the back of her neck as he began his thrusting. Fuck, he thought as her body took him with no issues, fuck, fuck, fuck. This was what he needed.

Kid couldn't remember want else happened from there. All he knew was that the woman didn't fight him as he slid in and out of her in a heated frenzy. He lost all restraint and used the woman to get the relief he desired for weeks. When he finally came, he hardly cared that he filled the woman's aching pussy with his cum.

He then pulled away and staggered to the door as he pulled up his pants. Kid didn't bother to look back at her. He opened the door and went out into the hall. He needed a drink and a long nap. As he walked back down the stairs, he was the brothel owner with a calm smile on her lips. Wordlessly, she held out her hand to Kid. With a grunt, Kid handed her the money and went to look for Killer in the bar.

The madam then went up the stairs to check on the new girl she had given to the pirate. The woman in the bed waited for Kid to leave before she got up from the bed just as the madam entered the room. She had a thick robe that she threw over the woman's shoulder.

"Come, I will help you." The madam said softly to the woman.

"I have to get back." The woman replied worriedly.

"I will help." The madam repeated and guided the woman out of the room.

Kid and the rest of the crew didn't return to the ship until late at night. Y/N woke up to London, and the others laughed as they crawled into bed. Sighing, Y/N got up and went to the infirmary to set aside all the ingredients for the tonic she would have to make for everyone in the morning. She then winced and reached for a jar of her freshly made ointment.

The ointment was cool on her fingertips, and she carefully spread it on her shoulders, neck, and chest. She knew that Kid would be rough, yet she had a feeling he tried to hold back, at least initially. She huffed and shook her head, then winced again. No, she got the Kid treatment, and she should be lucky that he went easy on her based on the stories she had overheard on the ship.

What she did was crazy and stupid. Even the madam of the brothel thought it was risky. Her abilities to disguise Y/N would disappear if Kid found her out and said her name. There were times that Y/N feared that he had in that small room. If he ever found out…

“But he won’t. He can’t,” She whispered as she put the jar back on the shelf. Y/N took a deep breath and went back to the women's quarters.

[lennjamin-o7]

i don't think i have it in me to watch philza minecraft's too many hours hardcore streams, so I'm just curious- how does he do lore for his hardcore series?

I can give you the info I know, and I am 100% certain there are people who can give more thorough explanations and/or correct me. @rakkuntoast is someone on tumblr who I know is much more informed than me about Philza lore.

Most of Philza's hardcore streams are him building these massively cool builds. But, the Lore of the series is that he is more of an archeologist or historian, discovering these locations and the story behind them.

A lot of the Lore is delivered by him explaining and narrating the story of the world as he builds. Occasionally, he will go through the whole story of the world for new viewers who don't already know. And sometimes, happy accidents or jokes just become a part of the story.

The main lore is this.

The Enderking, a God who ruled the End, was greedy and thought he deserved to be in control of everything, so he set about stealing everything for himself.

He tried to pull in parts of the Nether, but was stopped by the Blaze Empress, goddess of the Nether. Part of the Nether is still affected by this tussle, seen in the Nethervoid build. Also, during this clash, two of the Blaze Empress's BEST warriors known as He and She were separated. They were in love, but never confessed to each other their feelings. Now they are just lava pools, separated forever. (He and She were added because Kristin convinced Phil to put a smiley face in a lava pool and the Lore sprung from there).

Then, there is Flowerfall. Flowerfall was the home of the Ocean Overlord (Affectionately called Ocean Himbo by the Crows and I had to actually google what his title was because I couldn't think of it other than Himbo). The Ocean Overlord was a god of, well, the ocean. He lived in this massive underwater palace. When the Enderking was stealing parts of the world, the Ocean Overlord was asleep. He was asleep through the whole War, actually. And the Enderking nearly ripped his house out from under him! It was only another deity, Rose, who stopped the Enderking from stealing the Ocean Overlord's house.

The Gods (Minus beloved Himbo) fought against the Enderking and kicked him out of their realms. I'm not remembering exactly, but I think that in this tussle and the return of the Ocean Overlord's home, the sea flooded the End, creating Endlantis (someone correct me on this, if its wrong). The Enderking was slain (however, he's a god so he's not REALLY dead). His corpse lies underneath Endlantis, always possible that he could return.

There are a ton of details that are added onto this, but those details are really only fleshed out in one-off moments within Phil's streams. Like, Phil adding a tree at Spawn where the Blaze Empress and Rose send each other gifts and messages because they are such good friends (Crows know they are gal pals, even if Phil doesn't confirm it). Others are derived from accidents like the Battle of Endlantis, which was where multiple dragons were accidentally spawned, and Phil had to kill them off. Or when Phil lost his trident in the void, he made it big and existant in the newest season as if it had transcended dimensions.

There are other gods that we haven't been introduced to, as well. I think there are 2 more that he hasn't named. However, yeah, its kind of hard to keep up with all of the Lore if you aren't able to constantly watch it. I know there is a really good video of Philza explaining his Hardcore Lore to, I THINK, Slimecicle? But I couldn't find it. If anyone knows where it is, please link yes!

Anyways, I hope that answered your question 💚💚💚💚

[dean-winchesters-clit]

Another theory post about OFMD S2 because it's all I think about anymore

I had a theory forming about the pearl necklace Ed is wearing that I wanted to share with y'all. I was originally speculating about where Ed got the necklace, thinking that maybe he stole it off one of the wedding guests or even the bride because you can see a lot of the women wearing pearl jewelry in these shots.

But the only pearl necklace we see is much larger than the ones Ed is wearing, and I did some digging and found out that pearl necklaces mostly went out of style in Europe due to a war and the church getting all uppity about people being excessive, so it would be unlikely that any of the other women would be wearing pearl necklaces, especially when the earrings and hairpins made with pearls were usually larger and more uniform than the ones we see on Ed's necklace.

So, where did the necklace come from? I think it makes perfect sense that Stede gave it to Ed because of course he did, but when? It's hard to see Ed's neck in any of the shots of him raiding the wedding ship or in the captain's cabin aboard the Revenge, but I think it's safe to say that he doesn't have it at that point in time.

The first time we see it clearly in the trailer is when he's in the forest, confronting the mysterious figure (who I have a theory about, but that's for another time).

So, Ed gets the pearl necklace some time between raiding a bunch of ships as Blackbeard and getting stranded on an island. What could possibly happen in the interim that could cause him to acquire a pearl necklace from Stede?

Well, we all know Mysterious Merchant Susan is definitely the Chinese Pirate Queen Shi Yang/Zheng Yi Sao/Ching Shih or some approximation of her (since the real Zheng Yi Sao was born in 1775). We also know that she's masquerading as a merchant for some reason. What if the scene of Stede and Oluwande at the market happens before Stede sends his message in a bottle to Ed?

What if, when talking about Blackbeard and Ed, Susan convinces Stede to buy a string of these?

Chinese freshwater pearls. They're smaller and less uniform than the pearls we associate with classic European pearl jewelry. And they match up in style and size pretty well to the pearls on Ed's necklace.

What if Stede buys these pearls from Susan and places them in the bottle along with his message to Ed? Then, when Ed gets stranded on the island, he finds the bottle on the beach and the pearls inside. That's why he goes from no pearls on the Revenge to pearl necklace on the deserted island.

Just some food for thought!

Edit

So, @naranjapetrificada pointed something out that kinda sinks this theory, but I do really like where this new info leads us.

Ed is wearing the pearl necklace before being stranded on the island. You can see it in the "fuck you, Stede Bonnet" frame, but it's easy to miss.

There she is, when Ed is very clearly on the deck of the Revenge.

So, this does burn my theory to the ground, but that's okay!! That's the fun of theory crafting! Someone noticed something I didn't and flipped the whole script!

I love the implications that the necklace is something Ed chooses for himself, rather than something he is gifted. He still likes fine things and wants to feel pretty and finds something that makes him feel that way. Babygirl is having a rough time and deserves some happiness, dammit!!

[bunniekittiee]

Imagine Bi-Han’s S/O and Tomas sharing a strong sibling(in law) bond, they became their other half who enjoyed sharing their one braincell. I just thought it would be funny and that Tomas is fun to get along with.

I can definitely see that! I have written a few headcanons about Bi-Han's s/o and Tomas interacting (like finding the ocelot named Jia), as well as ones with Kuai Liang. I go into their relationship more here, but I am happy to go more in depth with Tomas and Bi-Han's s/o. I just wrote for fem. reader because it was a bit easier that way and I got less tongue-tied, but it can be read from any angle.

Bi-Han's S/O and Tomas' Relationship

Bi-Han's s/o usually keeps him in check when it comes to his brothers, especially Tomas.

She knows that Tomas is mostly targeted by Bi-Han's rage, especially for no reason. So, she does her best to keep Bi-Han's comments to a minimum.

Tomas always shrugs Bi-Han's rude comments off, but he is happy to know that someone else cares and wants to change it.

Kuai Liang steps in, but he definitely does not do it as often.

Only when Bi-Han is being extremely cruel.

Tomas is the brother that is absolutely down to go out and anywhere of her choice. He is just happy to be out and get a break from the Arctika.

He knows that it is their home, but it is never wrong to get a break every once in a while, right?

They tend to go out as often as possible, and sometimes Kuai Liang will join! It just depends, he is a bit of a homebody.

Tomas takes her out to Madame Bo's often and they definitely get special treatment.

Liu Kang's champions were not informed that Bi-Han had married, so they assumed she was Tomas' s/o.

Tomas did get a little embarrassed and had to tell them that she was Bi-Han's wife. And Johnny was in complete shock.

How could anyone marry the Ice King? (hehe)

Sometimes they will get mistaken for being a couple when they are out somewhere, but they learned to just ignore it.

They don't tell Bi-Han just in case he does get angry and puts a stop to their outings.

But Bi-Han trusts Tomas and his s/o, and he knows that his wife deserves a break from the Arctika. It can be endearing sometimes, and he understands this.

However, he knows how stupid they can be, and that's what can worry him a bit.

One time, Tomas had accidentally told a lady congratulations on being pregnant when she wasn't, and he was nearly skinned alive.

Y/N thought it was absolutely hilarious as Tomas was berated and they both had to run in the alley way in order to escape the angry woman.

They both still laugh about it to this day.

"I would have made the same mistake! I really thought she was." She had told Tomas, so he felt less bad.

Tomas does like the chisme, so if Bi-Han's s/o has any info about the champions or people they know, he wants to hear about it.

There have been many late-night tea times when Bi-Han was swamped with work, and they have both stayed up late talking about other people.

Kuai Liang is not a big chismoso like Tomas, but sometimes he will join.

Tomas is down for spa days, and they will both do face care and meditate together.

When dealing with Bi-Han, it is definitely needed.

Tomas has painted her toes before, and he slathered them with nail polish.

It was like a bad art project, and it made a horrific mess.

Her and Tomas both have a habit of finding random animals, more so after they found Jia. Some of them they take in, others they can't because Bi-Han won't allow it.

An ocelot you can tame, but a bear?! He thought they were absolutely out of their minds.

They came across a baby cow one time, and Tomas was run over by its mother.

Bi-Han's s/o was worried about him, but she did fall over laughing after he got up and looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Her udders were in my face!"

That did not help her laughter.

One time, a cockroach scurried near them, and they were both sent into a screaming mess.

Tomas was full on screaming like a girl. Bi-Han was pissed at first until he saw what it was.

Because they interrupted his work, he left them there to wail about the cockroach that was nearing them.

Kuai Liang had to set it free outside for them to calm down.

Bi-Han did not get laid that night.