#like oh my god this is an amazing podcast right up my alley but i was not prepered for the plot twista

[koszmarnybudyn]

A wip because i dont have time to finish it today and i will probablly be busy tommorow.

[vbsvartalf]

Audio Drama Sunday, 12/4/22

Yesterday was a long, big, busy Sunday, filled with some amazing audio dramas that I must share with all of you.

Dead Air, by Realm Media (created by Gwenda Bond) - If you like the true crime genre of podcasts, then a fictional version might just be up your alley. It's suspenseful, emotional, and filled with dark, dry humor. I've been devouring it recently, stopping just short of binging the entire thing in a single setting. I'm not a true crime fan, but I'm still hooked. If you liked Arden, I think you'll like this show.

Greater Boston, by Alexander Danner and Jeff Van Dreason - Humor, surrealism, quiet drama are all at the heart of Greater Boston. I know it's been around for a while and has a huge fandom but I'm excited that I get to experience this show for the first time six years after it started. Once I finish, I have a feeling I'll start the series over again without missing a beat.

A Ninth World Journal, by David S. Dear - The ultimate actual play turned audio drama, A Ninth World Journal episodes might be short but they are packed to the gills with content and keep you guessing as to what is going to happen next. David S. Dear is a fantastic narrator I've heard on several other shows at this point and it's wonderful to see him shine as the star.

Exoplanetary, by C. Christopher Heart - Managing to weave half a dozen sci-fi stories together in a nonlinear fashion without getting things too confusing is no easy task, but Exoplanetary as not only done just that, but thrived at it and keeps me coming back for new stories and new angles. It's filled with heart and emotion that stay with you long after the episodes is finished. From robotic love to colonialism to time travel, this show has it all.

Among the Stars and Bones, by Ungodly Hour Productions - Technically this will be my third listen but each time I get something more out of it, I feel more for the characters and understand their motivations. Telling a story from 8 or 9 limited viewpoints is a great way to employ the unreliable narrator, or as it happens, 8 or 9 unreliable narrators. I've seen recently that they are casting for season 2 and I cannot contain my excitement!

Old Gods of Appalachia, by DeepNerd Media - Folk horror, when done right, is better than any subgenre of any genre of literature, bar none. I will live and die on this hill. Old Gods does folk horror the right way. There's mood and atmosphere, a sense of place and a sense of dread. The show will have you jumping at shadows and creepy noises down by the creek at the witching hour.

The Town Whispers, by Cole Weavers - While similar to Old Gods of Appalachia, The Town Whispers takes cosmic horror and turns it up to 11 alongside all the folk horror that creeps around the edges of the Fort. The story telling is sharp and a sense of doom and dread purvey every word Mr. Weavers speaks. It's beautiful and chilling and leaves me needing more.

Malevolent, by Harlan Guthrie - It's a simple premise, guy wakes up unable to see with a creepy voice in his head that is not his own. Oh also there's a dead body, also there are monsters running around, oh also lots of creepy books, oh also it's set in the heart of Lovecraft Country. What could go wrong? I'm late to the party on the fandom for this show but as I work through the episodes I see why the fandom has exploded Hannibal style all over Tumblr.

Hi Nay, by Motzi Dapul - What if the Magnus Archives were less focused on Eurocentric monsters and fears and entities? What if there was a less organized group of people going after them? What if all of it was recorded lo-fi and given a health dose of Filipino folklore? Well, you'd have Hi Nay and you'd sweep the internets with a new, obsession worthy podcast that teaches as much as it entertains. Also they are working on getting 1000 subs on Youtube so get on that people!

The Kingmaker Histories, by Meg Molloy Tuten - Made by the same geniuses that brought us Less is Morgue, this audio drama gives us a glimpse at a steampunk world filled with magic. I enjoyed the first episode immensely. The acting, the script, the sound design are all top notch. Have to say I love this Ariadne character, she seems nice.

Moonbase Theta, Out, by D.J. Sylvis - Dystopian futures, corrupt governments, sinister warnings about the moon. Sounds like a typical day in 2022, right? Moonbase Theta, Out was and is ahead of its time in terms of storytelling, narratives, and characters. It's really a who's who in the world of audio drama with "famous" voices popping in and out to voice characters that will make you do the Leo pointing meme at least twice and episode.

WOE.BEGONE, by Dylan Griggs - Part surrealist sci-fi, part existential horror, WOE.BEGONE is a show that makes me want to run away screaming whilst at the same time binging more and more episodes. How deep does this creepy, deadly game go? What is the point of it all? Will Mike just be able to relax and have a nice time? I need to know!!!

And 195, by Guendalina Cilli - I just found out about this audio drama yesterday and I'm already a fan. I'm a runner with a bad sense of direction myself so the basis of the show is very, very familiar to me (aside from getting lost in other dimensions, that's not familiar but you never know in these days).

We Fix Space Junk, by Battle Bird Productions - Dystopian space dramas are a trope for a reason, but We Fix Space Junk manages to avoid the pitfalls and enjoy all the benefits of said trope. It's fresh, fun, and exciting. I've decided it was time for a re-listen to see what things I missed out on in the beginning that are integral parts of the show by the end. I'm already having a blast!

Care & Feeding of Werewolves, by Brenna Anderson-Dowd - What if True Blood were a sitcom, but far better than the sum of those two parts? What if it were funny and informative, silly and meaningful? You'd have Care & Feeding of Werewolves and you'd enjoy every single episode of this weird little show, and I do mean that endearingly. If it weren't weird, it wouldn't be nearly as fun.

[athina-blaine]

Martin goes and gets himself stabbed. It's inconvenient.

For @thesmallestzita.

Chapters: 1/1 [Complete]

Words: 1,774

Tags: Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Season 1, Pre-Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence

Martin tripped over a stray soda can and the pain in his side flared. Hissing through his teeth, he pressed his hand deeper over the wound, taking a moment to collect himself, before continuing to shamble down the rain slicked pavement.

He takes some initiative for once, and this is what happens. Typical. The others weren’t going to let him hear the end of this. Especially not Jon.

Martin hoped Jon never found out about this. He’d die of embarrassment, first. Martin was walking a tight rope after the disastrous Rentoul follow up, as it were. There’s no telling what Jon would do if he knew Martin had to go and get himself bloody stabbed, all the while following up a case that had already been closed.

He pulled his mind back to the task at hand; get to hospital. It was more difficult due to the fact that every lone piece of rubbish seemed determined to get under his feet and trip him up. It didn’t help that his legs moved like they were fast filling with lead, heavy and sluggish.

It’s amazing, sometimes, the things you take for granted. Martin walked every day. He was pretty good at it, he thought. But, now, it took everything he had just to put one foot in front of the other.

The pavement swam before his eyes, the neon lights bouncing off rain puddles in a hypnotic display. It made him queasy. He had to lean against a brick wall. Just a short break, to catch his breath. Not for long.

This was harder than he’d thought it would be. His GPS said the hospital had only been a twenty-minute walk, but he feels as if he’d been going and going for hours.

God, he was such a moron. What had he been thinking? Skulking around the site of paranormal nonsense with no backup and no one knowing where he was. He had just wanted to know more about the fate of Carlos Vittery, and, maybe, uncover something that was missed the first time. Something that would impress Jon.

He hadn’t known someone was there. He wouldn’t have gone in if he had known that.

The woman had dark hair, filthy and caked with a thick, flaky secretion and when she had turned, she had … holes, in her face. And the bugs …

So distracted by the silvery worms, he hadn’t had time to react when the woman lunged with a rusty razor, slicing clean through just under his ribs.

“It’s okay,” she had whispered. “You don’t want to be here for what comes next, anyway.”

Flooded with adrenaline, Martin had managed to sprint out of the basement, away from the woman and her burrowing worms without any further harm. It had to have been Jane Prentiss. Nothing else made sense. And nothing good could possibly come out of whatever was coming next.

He grimaced, pressing his hand into his side, slick with blood.

He wasn’t going to make it.

He helplessly slid down the wall. No. No, this was bad. He can’t lie down. If he did, he didn’t think he’d be able to get back up.

Shit. Shit.

First things first, he had to tell someone about Prentiss. Someone had to know that she was planning something.

Pulling out his phone, he struggled to bring up his most recent conversations, fingers smearing blood onto the screen. Sasha. Sasha would know what to do.

He raised the phone to his ear, the streetlights swimming in and out of focus.

“Hello?”

Jon.

Martin’s eyes slid shut. Of course. His last text had been to Jon about the Popham follow up. Jon had said he had already finished recording the case and scolded Martin for being so late with his report. Tim and Sasha had had everything under control, anyway. Find someone else to bother.

He hadn't written that last part. Not out loud, anyway.

Through the phone, there was a familiar, irritated sigh and Martin blinked back to reality.

“I really hope this is important, Martin, I was rather in the middle of something.”

Martin swallowed, torn between, Oh, nothing, sorry to bother you, good night and, I’m dying and I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t tell you I love you so, so much.

The phone trembled in his hand and he gripped it as tightly as he could. If he dropped it, he wouldn’t have the strength to pick it back up again. Was he really going to bleed out here? In this dingy alley, in the middle of the night, in the rain? That would be … really bad …

“For God’s sake, Martin, I don’t have time for this.”

“S-sorry …” Have to tell him. Needs to know. “Jane …”

“Martin?” The bite in his voice fell away. “What’s happening? You sound—”

“Jane Prentiss …”

There was a pause, and then a sudden, violent clattering. “Where are you?”

“Um … I was just … Carlos Vittery …”

“Don’t move, I’m on my way. Stay on the phone. Martin? Martin?”

Ah. Now he’s went and gotten Jon all worked up.

“Sorry … tried to be useful …” He chuckled and it hurt. “Guess I should … know better by now …”

“Martin!”

At least he got to listen to Jon saying his name, like he was really worried about him or something. There were worse ways to go.

The phone slipped from his hand and everything fell away.

 Martin awoke, slowly, first to the sound of a mechanical beeping, and then, hurried footsteps and outraged shouts. The door swung open and his drowsy eyes slid over to the figures that stormed in. His vision was still blurry, and he couldn’t make out their faces, but he recognized one voice.

“—know the policies and if you think you have any right to stop me—”

An unfamiliar woman came in behind him, haggard and face lined with stress.

“Do you know this man, sir?” she said to Martin.

Martin blinked sleepily, eyes moving back to Jon. His hair was wilder and more unkempt than he’d ever seen it.

“Yeah," he said. "He’s my, uh … boss?”

Jon turned to the woman with a victorious smirk, but the woman was already backing out of the room.

“Just press the assist button if he’s bothering you,” she said, closing the door with a sharp click. Jon glared at the door, grumbling irritably under his breath. Martin opened his mouth, but a wave of nausea swept over him and his question was lost in a groan.

Jon snapped towards him, his irritation flipping to stark concern. Taking a deep breath, Martin tried again.

“Where am I?” he asked, faintly. “How did I get here?”

“Whittington Hospital. According to the nurse, a pedestrian saw you and called the paramedics.” Jon took a seat in the spare chair by his bedside, dropping his satchel by his side. His expression could have been cut from steel. “You are incredibly lucky.”

Martin squeezed his eyes closed. He certainly didn’t feel very lucky. Not with Jon looking so upset. He was still wearing the same soft, grey jumper from this morning, which means he had come here straight from the Institute, and for some reason that distressed Martin even more.

“How did you know where I was?”

“Obviously, the Carlos Vittery you mentioned was the same from case #0150409 and I figured you must have been near the Archway area. I’ve been trying all the hospitals nearby asking for a man of your description.”

What little energy Martin had drained out of him, and his head sank into the pillow.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Oh, and I suppose you’d rather have me twiddling my thumbs in the archives while you were dying?”

“Sorry ...”

Jon pressed his lips together and he looked to the side. The severity of his expression gentled, and he turned back to Martin, his eyes softening.

“Are you alright?”

Martin’s heart fluttered.

“Well,” he managed. “Not dead. That’s a good start.”

Jon nodded, and then hoisted up his satchel.

“You were in surgery for a while, so I went out and bought some food, considering the stuff in hospital is so abysmal.”

“Oh. That’s … nice of you.” Also, wildly unexpected, but Martin wasn't saying anything. Hospital food was, in fact, not the greatest.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so …” Jon dumped a truly outrageous amount of granola bars, yoghurt, and crisps onto the end table. Some spilled over and he quickly reached down to scoop them up. “Yeah.”

A chuckle worked its way through Martin’s chest. It hurt, a little, but the pain was soothed by the sight of Jon juggling Hot Flamin’ Cheetos.

“Slight overkill, don’t you think?”

Jon snapped open a bag of cheese puffs. “Good to know my efforts are appreciated.”

“They are! They are.” With a muffled grunt, Martin reached over and plucked up a bottle of orange juice. “See? Look how appreciative I’m being.”

Jon hummed, flicking a cheesy puffball into his mouth. They both sat in silence, Martin sipping his drink and Jon munching through his crisps.

It must have been the longest time the two of them had ever been alone together. Though they were both quiet, it was a comfortable sort of silence. Just two people existing alongside each other. Reassured by their presence.

Then, Jon took a deep breath.

“I had no idea what to make of your call,” he said, folding the plastic bag into a small square. “I thought you were … You …”

Martin bit his lip, not wanting anything to slip out. Swallowing, Jon lowered his head.

“You had me worried.” Finally, Jon looked back up at him. His mouth was his usual grim, disappointed line, but his eyes shone with dark emotion. “Please don’t do that again.”

Jon had been really upset, hadn't he? Martin didn’t know how to feel about that. Embarrassed, certainly. Guilty, for putting Jon through such an unnecessary ordeal. But also … nice.

He traced the lip of his empty orange juice bottle.

Yeah. He felt nice.

“Well, I don't really fancy dying, so I guess I'll do my best.”

A tiny smile quirked the corner Jon’s lips. Martin had only a moment to savour it, though, as it quickly slipped away as he pulled a pen and paper out of his satchel, and Martin mourned its loss. Jon opened his notebook.

“What happened at Carlos Vittery’s flat? You said you encountered Jane Prentiss, correct?”

Yes. Back to business.

Straightening up, Martin cleared his throat.

“Right. So, something about his case didn’t sit right with me, and I decided to go back and investigate some more. You know, observe my due diligence, and all that …”

[rt-reader-inserts]

Valentine

Pairing: Trevor Collins x Reader

Word Count: 2,391

Description: You find yourself alone on Valentine’s Day, working after hours on editing with nothing better to do. That is, until a certain someone walks in. (This was a commission for @trevc0, thank you so much!!)

Warnings: None!

It is… somewhat disheartening to see all your coworkers leaving the office, either with their loved one, with gifts from/for a loved one, or with plans to see their loved one when they get home. Meanwhile, you’re just staying after to catch up on some editing, seeing as you had the time for it. No partner means no plans so, it’s not like you have anything better to do. Work’s better than staying in, watching netflix, and thinking about how nice it’d be to be with someone tonight.

That doesn’t stop those thoughts from lingering in your subconscious.

With a deep breath, you try to keep you entire focus on your work. Balancing the audio levels of six microphones, finding the best footage to switch to at different points in the video, it’s at least an easy thing to get fully absorbed in.

So it startles you when you feel a tap on your shoulder, and you look up to see Trevor standing behind your chair, shooting you a smile as you take your headphones off. “Hey, (y/n), is there, uh, a reason you’re still here? Office hours ended like, ehh two hours ago.” You check your phone to see that it is, in fact, seven o’clock, and it surprises you how fast the time went by. (It’s not surprising, however, when you see your only notifications are from Twitter and Tumblr.)

“I just stopped by to grab my jacket, wound up leaving it since the weather was so nice, and then I saw the light was on and… there you were, editin’ away.”

You laugh under your breath, shaking your head slightly before replying, “I dunno, figured I could get some work done since I have no plans; plus, you dorks aren’t here to interrupt with your ‘shenanigans’ so…” You shoot him a grin, and he rolls his eyes.

“Wow, you walk in on flinchless kickie doo one time—”

“It hit me right in the face, Trevor; and I had a fuckin bounce house dropped on me one time?”

“ —alright well, yeah, but it’s not like that really interrupted anything. Just… delayed things a bit.” He fires back, crossing his arms with a slightly guilty expression.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night,” you tease, sitting back in your chair as you look up at him. “Is there a specific reason for tonight’s interruption? Outside of curiosity, of course.”

“Well, uh, since you don’t have plans or anything,” he rubs the back of his neck, gaze darting over to a random spot in the room before looking back at you, “would you, like, wanna go get dinner?”

As if to answer his question, your stomach rumbles, and you both laugh. “Yeah man, I’m absolutely down for dinner.” It doesn’t occur to you until after you’ve already answered the question, but you realize you have no idea what the connotations surrounding dinner are.

Well, too late now.

He shoots you another smile, moving to grab his jacket from the couch. “Better save your work then, cuz I’m a hungry boy,” you can’t help but snort at that. You’re a dork, that’s what you are. “And, judging by the whale noises, I’m guessing you’re in the same boat.”

“You know I’m the hungriest boy around,” you shoot back, spinning around in your chair and quickly saving what you have. “Honestly, I would devour the entire McDonald’s menu right now, and I don’t even like McDonald’s.”

“Dammit, there goes my plan for good ol’ MickeyD’s.”

With a slight eye roll, you sit and wait for your computer to shut down, placing your headphones on your desk.

You can’t help but let out a surprised gasp, almost squeal, when your chair suddenly begins moving backwards. “Let’s get movin’, kid,” Trevor says as he starts rolling you toward the door, unable to keep from chuckling at his own dumb antics.

With slight difficulty, you jump out of the moving chair, quickly stepping to the side and laughing as he stumbles through his momentum. “Hang on, dude, I can’t leave my bag behind,” you tell him as you walk back to your desk, “and I can walk on my own, thanks.”

“Well, if you insist,” he retorts, sliding your chair back to your desk as you pick up your bag. Tossing your phone inside, you turn back to him, and he smiles. “Ready to roll?”

“If by roll you mean walk, and not take my chair out in the parking lot, then yeah, let’s roll.”

“I mean, there aren’t any cameras around, so I think we can leave the safety violations at the office tonight,” he replies, walking backward toward the door as he waits for you to follow.

With a combination of a laugh and an exasperated sigh, you walk after him, hitting the switch on your way out.

The two of you wind up at a hole-in-the-wall Italian place, one that your coworkers have been raving about (and that was thankfully small enough to not be completely booked on Valentine’s Day). You’d felt somewhat embarrassed when you’d had to admit to Trevor that Steffie was normally your ride home, and you’d been planning on taking a Lyft home tonight. Of course he assured you that driving you home was no problem, and that it made things easier anyways, not having to figure out what to do with two cars.

He had a point, but that doesn’t stop you from being anxious about inconveniencing him.

However, the weird conversation you find yourself in does more than enough to distract you from that anxiety.

“Wait, wait, so hang on,” Trevor speaks through suppressed laughter, “you’re telling me— that you were afraid of swimming pools until you were nine??”

“Listen, it was a valid fear!” you defend yourself, crossing your arms in a slightly exaggerated manner. “I mean, at least at the time. Of course I knew that sharks probably didn’t swim in public swimming pools, but was I one hundred percent sure? Nope, and I wasn’t about to take that chance.”

“Had to wait until you were at least ten for that.”

“Now you’re getting it,” you shoot back with a grin, which he cheekily returns.

You’d been at the restaurant for only twenty minutes, when suddenly the waiter sets down the appetizer in front of you; it looks nothing short of amazing. Of course, neither of you are surprised, suggestions from the podcast crew rarely let anyone down. In all honesty, it’s really just the price makes the quality astonishing.

“Jesus christ, I could eat that entire plate in two seconds flat,” Trevor absentmindedly mumbles, and you’re drawn back to the present, quickly grabbing a ravioli as you narrow your eyes at him.

“You better fuckin’ not.”

He holds his hands up in mock surrender, fork still between his fingers. “Hey, I said I could, not that I will. You think I’m gonna pull something like that when you have a fork and knife at hand?”

“I mean, we have the same silverware, you could technically defend yourself, if it came to that.”

He rolls his eyes, leaning back against the booth, “Please, I was born to fence with silverware. I would crush you, easy.” He can only keep up his cocky demeanor for another small moment before cracking, shooting you a grin.

“Oh, is that so?” you raise an eyebrow before sinking your fork into the toasted ravioli on your plate, twirling it around as you hold it up. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

You take a bite of the ravioli, and he’s quick to retort, “Are you challenging me to a duel? In the middle of this refined establishment?” His voice is practically dripping with faux shock and horror, and you can’t help but let out a small laugh.

“I’m just saying, you gotta be able to put your money where your mouth is, Collins.”

He smiles, grabbing a ravioli for himself as he replies, “Well, maybe sometime when we aren’t surrounded by innocent civilians, I’ll prove my fork dueling skills.” After a quick bite, he adds, “Besides, I don’t think that old lady would be too thrilled about it, our laughing was offensive enough.”

You glance over to where he subtly gestured with his fork, and see a very old couple. It’s almost as if the woman can sense you looking, because she immediately turns and meets your gaze, with a glare that you think could probably kill you. You return your eyes to Trevor, trying to hold back a laugh as you say, “Holy shit, yeah, no, let’s hold off on this duel for now.” He doesn’t have time to respond before you add, “She also definitely caught me staring so… pretty sure I’m on her shit list now.”

Trevor locks eyes with you, deadly serious as he tells you, “You better watch out, pretty sure that red wine she’s drinking isn’t actually wine.”

You mimic his demeanor as you lean in closer, whispering, “Can you see her reflection on any of the silverware? Is there any color in her cheeks, like, at all?” He quickly glances over, and shakes his head. “Well, fuck.”

“Listen, you’re cool and all, but if you’ve got a vampire after you, you might have to find your own way home tonight.”

Your eyes are still locked as you stay quiet for a moment, the two of you almost daring each other to break the stare, but then the corner of Trevor’s mouth quirks. You can’t keep from laughing at that point, and neither can he, neither of you paying any mind to the dirty look the same woman throws your way.

“If we get kicked out of here before my pasta shows up, I’m blaming you.”

Trevor laughs under his breath, grabbing another ravioli as he replies, “I mean, you’re the one staring at harmless old ladies.”

“You told me to! And I’m not sure how harmless she’ll be when she catches me in an alley, ready to snap my neck; did you see the look she gave me?” You try your best to keep your voice accusatory, but the smile on your face immediately betrays you. God, how could you not smile when this man was smiling right back?

“Eh, you’re a tough kid, you’ll manage.”

You laugh as you chew your next bite, swallowing before adding, “Thanks for that vote of confidence.”

“Oh, anytime.”

You’re not sure how someone’s smile can look so smug and so sincere in the same moment.

It’s surprising how easily the conversation flowed between the two of you at dinner. Sure, you talked to each other at the office, got on fairly well, but that was usually with other people around. You never expected to spend so much one-on-one time with someone and not fall into an awkward silence at some point.

And yet, here you are, in the passenger seat of Trevor’s car as he drives you home, the silence between the two of you something comfortable, safe. He hums along to whatever Spotify playlist he has going, tapping the steering wheel, and you watch the Austin city streets go by in a blur of lights and nightlife.

“I had no clue you were in the same neighborhood as me,” you break the silence, “but I’m glad you don’t have to go too far out of your way to get my dumb ass home.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t have minded going out of my way to get your dumb ass home,” he fires back, shooting you a grin. You roll your eyes with a laugh, and he adds, “For real though, don’t sweat it; Lyft fare is bullshit, and I’m more than happy to help.”

You smile over at him as you reply, “Well, thank you.”

He pulls his car into the one available spot outside your townhouse, meaning one of your roommates is out for the night, and he parallel parks with an ease you can’t fathom. As he puts the car in park, you unbuckle your seatbelt, turning towards him to say, “Thanks for the ride, and for the company. I definitely had a way better time than I thought I would tonight, working after office hours on Valentine’s Day.”

“Hey, anytime!” he says as he opens his door, and you get out of the car as well. “I had fun laughing at old ladies and disturbing the peace with you.”

“I mean, the latter is Achievement Hunter’s specialty, isn’t it?”

“Gotta represent the brand,” he adds as the two of you make your way to your door, both exchanging dumb smiles.

“So, can I ask a dumb question?” you ask, standing in front of your door, shifting on your feet slightly.

“Hit me with it.”

You know you’ll probably regret asking, but you’ll also regret not asking so, might as well. “Would you wanna, um, go out again?” Before he can even respond, you’re quick to add, “I understand if this like, wasn’t a thing, though; I just, figured I’d ask.”

He laughs under his breath, smiling down at you. “This definitely was a thing, yeah. I would’ve asked you out legitimately weeks ago, but I kept second guessing myself; and when I saw you in the office tonight, I finally kicked my own ass and said something, though uh… clearly not well.”

“Hey, we got there eventually, and I had a great time so, I’d say you did well enough.”

Your smile is incredibly teasing, and honestly, he looks like he wants to kiss you right there. But, instead, he settles for kissing your forehead, and you can’t fight the blush that rises to your cheeks. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Bright and early,” you reply, unlocking your front door, “and I’m taking that as a yes, you do wanna go out again?”

“You’re a nerd.”

You stick your tongue out at him as he smiles, kissing your cheek before continuing, “But yes, that’s one hundred percent a yes.”

You’re practically beaming as you say, “See you tomorrow, Collins.”

“Bright and early,” he grins before walking back to his car, stopping before he opens the door. “Goodnight, (y/n).”

As you say goodbye and close the door behind you, you can’t keep from giggling to yourself, still blushing. Maybe, maybe Valentine’s Day was kind of okay.

If it was with him, anyways.

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Sharon Raydor's life, death and what the hell was point?

Like many of you, I've gone through a variety of emotions from Sharon's death. I'm finally in a better place emotionally. And I have a much clearer head so that I can talk about everything that happened from a much calmer point of view. As I really wanted to respond to her death (and the manner of it) without just pure anger. Like so many others I was angry, very angry at what happened. I still am angry but I am much calmer. I also think listening to Mary's podcast  helped correct some interpretations that I had. 

I'm so glad to Mary to have her and her podcast. To be able to get her point of view on Sharon. I think it was very much needed for a lot of us. If you haven't listened to it yet, I really really recommend it. It may help you as it did me. I am also very glad to learn that the podcast will be continuing in some form. I have a lot to say so get cozy and grab your favorite drink.

How I found Sharon Raydor & Major Crimes A few years ago I finally got around to watching Deep Space Nine. I had been a huge Trek fan since Voyager was on and so many people said that DS9 was the best Trek. And boy where they right. It had amazing characters, great relationships (oh my god the relationships) and excellent writing. 

One of the writer/producers of DS9 was a man by the name of Ronald D Moore. Who I had heard created Battlestar Galactica, which was hailed as one of the greatest Sci-Fi shows of all time. I finally got around to watching it and I was blown away by it. Laura Roslin and William Adama captured my heart on that show. From there I found a few shows the actors were in afterwards. I had planned to check out a few of them and Major Crimes was first on my list. It was a crime drama (which was right up my alley). I pretty quickly got hooked and I still haven't seen any of the other actor's shows from BSG.

Why? What is the point?

I asked myself this question before her death and so many times after it. There have only been 3 big character deaths between The Closer and Major Crimes. Willie Ray, Taylor and Sharon. In those 13 years we have only had those deaths. It is such a very rare thing to have, when so many other shows these days don't think anything of killing off one of their major characters. Each death has had a point to it within the context of the story. Willie Ray's death was meant to teach Brenda that her family was more important than her job. That time is precious and that you may not get another chance with them. That was the whole point of Willie Ray wanting to speak with Brenda. But Brenda was much too busy to take the time to sit down with her mother. And you do end up seeing Brenda rethinking her behavior. 

Taylor's death pushed a completely new dynamic into the show. One that was very much needed at the time. His death left us in a place where we didn't necessarily know where the characters were going to end up. We didn't know if Sharon would have ended up being the chief or if someone else would have. Not to mention that the actor was ready to leave. Both Robert Gossett and Duff had felt that the character had gone as far as it could go. 

For now, I don't see any point in Sharon's death. I don't see how it drives the plot forward. I don't see any lessons to be taught.  Andy, Rusty and Provenza did not needed her death to teach them to be better people. They became better people because they loved her and she became a better person because she loved them. 

Mary talks about how death in real life is very often pointless. Very often there is never a point in someone's death. I respect and acknowledge that point of view, but I think that my problem with it is it is a very odd choice for a show that was never built around reality. It certainly has it's moments of reality. For so many people it was always a comfort show. It was never a dark show like BSG or The Walking Dead. It was a show that so many of us could escape to. 

So for the show to take such a drastic turn at the end. Such as killing it's main character in such traumatic way as is a HUGE blow. I also think that the deaths in this show (and TC) make more of an impact on it's audience because they are so rare. It is also a show and not reality. So we want there to be a point to her death. Especially because she was the main character and because so many of us connect to her emotionally. 

For us and the characters. It casts such a huge shadow and instead of having any kind of happy ending the show will ultimately end with tragedy. I think it's a very odd and bizarre choice to have to end your show in this way. With so much grief. For the fans and for the characters.  I think that, that may have been Duff's intent. Was to help us grieve for the show by having such a huge intrigal loss in the show. And that is probably why he intended to have her die a few episodes before the end. So that we can grieve along with the other characters for the loss of Sharon and the show. I personally don't think that having her die helped us deal with the loss of the show at all. I think it makes it so much harder.

But I can't help feeling that her death felt so completely unnecessary. To have her death be pointless and be the most traumatic death. Just feels very cruel. It feels cruel to Sharon. Because of how happy she finally was. It feels cruel to her family. Emily and Ricky that finally saw their mother happy. Rusty, that finally had a stable family life and a mother that loved him unconditionally. Andy who had never found happiness until he found her.

It feels cruel to the squad and it feels cruel to the fans. I'm not sure what sort of ending I would have chosen for Sharon Raydor. I agree with Mary. I would not have wanted Sharon to retire at the end of MC however if I had a choice between her dying and retiring I would definitely have chosen retirement. I think my ideal ending for her would have been for her to keep her job as the head of MC. Because she loved her job so much and loved the people that she worked with.  To keep fighting for another day. And what is wrong with ending a show where the main character keeps her job and is happy and healthy?

I have also thought that Sharon's death may have been a bit of revenge on TNT. Her death was shocking, it was tragic and it was very traumatic. And it got a lot of press. For Mary's performance and for Sharon's death. It's been no secret that TNT gave MC almost no support and for years has tried to sink the show. Mostly because MC is not the type of show that TNT wants on their network anymore. So I think that Duff thought that he could show the network that he could do dark and edgy. 

But I think the problem that I have with that is. Ultimately who does her death impact the most? The cast, crew, characters and the fans. Tony talked about how he thought that the network was going to push Duff not to kill Sharon. I thought that was so sweet but it seems clear to me that TNT does not care one wit about the show and has not for years.

The Intention of Sharon's Death

How it was written verses how we interrupted it. Many of us (myself included) interpreted Sharon's death as a suicide. I am very glad to learn that, that was not the case. From Mary's podcast, it really sounded like she was taken aback at learning that was how so many of us saw it as a suicide. I think that because she knew JD's intent and was so involved in the storyline that, that was the reason why she never saw it that way. And why this reaction surprised her. Sometimes when you create something your original intent or meaning may end up being lost or misinterpreted by the viewer. 

I'm going to go into why I was so convinced that Sharon had committed suicide and what (I thought) her reasons were for it. For me, it goes way beyond Sharon asking Father Stan for Last Rites. 

1. Sharon's Goodbyes "I'm almost done." It was her conversations with Provenza, Rusty, Father Stan and Andy throughout those last two episodes. Some of which were written as the character's goodbyes to each character and so I interpreted them as Sharon's intentional goodbyes to the people she was the closest too.

Provenza begging Sharon to slow down and her dismissal of that. Her telling him that she has every intention of keep doing what she's always done and that she has no plans to change any of that. As much as it probably killed him to let her keep doing her thing. I know he understood it because he has every intention of working until he can't anymore. 

Sharon telling Andy that she thought that it would have been better for her family if she had just died the first time that she collapsed. Really felt to me like she was thinking about suicide to spare her family more trauma and the burdens of her illness. 

Sharon telling Father Stan about not wanting to take a heart away from a woman who had not fully lived their life. Felt that she had given up fighting her disease. And yes she did. But now I realize that the intent was for her to just let the disease take it's course. And to give her life up to fate and when it was her time it was her time. 

Her other conversation with Andy in the electronics room. Her thanking him for taking care of her. Felt again very much like she was tying up loose ends. To me it read like: I know this is the end of my life and I want you to be aware of how much I appreciate everything that you have done for me. Her telling him "I'm almost done." Really struck me. 

hey say that when a person is about to commit suicide they tell their loved ones goodbye. Sometimes it's a letter. Sometimes it's in conversation, possibly a coated message that you may not understand until after they are gone. So when Sharon told Andy that she was "almost done." Sounded a lot like she was telling him goodbye and that her life would be over very soon. That he wouldn't have the burden of taking care of her anymore.

2. Asking for Last Rites "I've lived my life as a Catholic and if possible I'd like to die as one." As soon as Sharon asked for last rites, that's when the thought popped into my head that she was planning to kill herself. I am not Catholic or religious at all myself. So I had no idea that asking for last rites was something that someone could ask for as many times as they wanted. If they had felt that they may have been close to death. Or needed it to help them deal with their mortality. It really felt like (to me) Sharon tying up some loose ends. And her wanting to be there for the ritual.

3. Her behavior: Peace and Recklessness Finding peace with her mortality. Her willfull disregard of her doctor's orders and coming to the point in her life where she gave absolutely zero fucks. Both felt to me like because she had made her decision to kill herself that meant she wasn't going to let anything stop her from doing what she wanted. Let me tell you, her giving no fucks I thought was so fabulous. I loved it. By that I am specifically refering to her behavior towards Mason. Not her ignoring her doctors orders. All of this screamed suicide to me. The intentions were just intrupited incorrectly for so many of us. So much of what was happeneing was really just supposed to be some HEAVY foreshaddowing. The shows way of trying to prepare us for her death in the best way they could without actually coming right out and telling us.

Why her choosing suicide confused me.

The Manner of her Death I was confused as to why she would commit suicide in front of all of the people she loved (and loved her). Her son most especially. I was baffled and utterly confused because Sharon is first and foremost a mother. Intentionally killing herself in front of her son, who she was always protecting just didn't make any sense. It felt like character assassination. Because I as much as (come to know about her) is that is something that she would never do. She would never want to put her family through that kind of pain.

The Disconnect between her Happiness and her Intention to kill herself Sharon has mentioned so many times throughout season 6 just how happy she is. She's talked about how she's never been happier in her entire life. And so it is a bit odd to want to kill yourself if you are really and truely happy in life. The way that I explained this away. Was what I thought were her intentions. I had thought that she did not want to put her family though anymore worry and the burden of taking care of her. How many times did she talk about how she did not want anyone to put her life on hold for her and her illness? She never wanted to inconvenience her children (Emily and Ricky most specifically because they lived away from her). She didn't even want them contacted when she was in the hospital that one time. 

Another reasoning that I had for her intention towards suicide. Was her not wanting to give her family any false hope. She talked about how the pacemaker was only a temporary measure and how she decided she did not want another person's heart. So instead of having her family live through chance after chance, of hope and heartache for her just to ultimatly die. She took it upon herself to end it all earlier. So that her family would not have to keep living between hope and trauma.

Sharon vs Laura JD made a point of comparing and paralleling the two characters. But I really think that Laura's death works much more for the character than it does for Sharon. The very first thing that you learn about Laura is that she is terminal. THE VERY FIRST THING. It is built into the character and so we have a long time to prepare for her death. It was still devastating but it was always her fate, her destiny to die at the end of the story. And so we knew that it wouldn't end for any other way. 

Another point of comparison is Sharon and Laura's behaviors at the end of their lives. Laura became ruthless AF near the end of her life (and the times she knew she was dying). She closed herself off and made the hard decisions because she knew she had to in order to ensure the survival of the human race before her death. Sharon also ended up not giving a fuck and did what she wanted. Sadly though it seems that hastened her death. Laura knew that she was going to die. Sharon was very aware of her mortality and made peace with it. But she pushed herself and that caused her death. 

Their death scenes were also very different. Laura died at the very end of the story. In a raptor, flying above Earth next to her soulmate. It was sad but it was a peaceful death. She was happy and had died just as she saw the fruits of her labor. Sharon on the other hand died a horribly tragic death that makes it easy on no one. She got pissed off at a suspect and had a heart attack. While the suspect was screaming at her, the team all rushing to her to save her life. While Rusty is frantic on the phone with her doctor and being dragged out of the room. Laura's death was inevitable and it was made easier because of how peaceful of a death she was allowed to have. It's just confusing to me as to how Sharon's death is supposed to make things easier on us when her death is the most traumatic of all of the deaths on MC. And one I don't think I'll ever be able to watch again. 

While Sharon is a similar character to Laura. She is not Laura. And we did not need for her to have the same fate as her. So many of us wanted Sharon to live the life that Laura could not. And now there both dead. And now I'm bitter AF about that.

All I can think is... A man kills, yet another strong woman and her death was pointless. I see no positivity and no happiness in that. It was unnecessary and it was traumatic. All I see is the squad grieving for her death for the rest of the season. Andy who's happiness has been cruely ripped away from him only two weeks after they got married. And it seems he is destined to be alone after all. And that is depressing.

What's next? And moving forward. Right now, I won't be able to watch the rest of the season live. I'm still very emotionally cut up about Sharon's death that I don’t think that I will be able to watch the rest of the season. I know that eventually I will get around to watching the remaining four episodes. Because I am not ready to say goodbye to Sharon Raydor and Major Crimes, I will be continuing my episode reviews.  From here on out I will be picking up where I left off at in season 3. I hope by the time I am done with season 4 that I will be able to pick up on the rest of season 6.

[thelostcatpodcast]

THE LOST CAT PODCAST TRANSCRIPTS: SEASON 3: EPISODE 03: RATS

SEASON 3: EPISODE 03: RATS

Episode released 26th February 2017

http://thelostcat.libsyn.com/season-3-episode-3-rats

I started finding adverts asking for cats, caliming that any unwanted or unowned cats would happily be taken from you. The numbers of strays, which I had learnt to follow quite closely, were definitely thinning.  I started hearing rumours of collections.The rumours said the adverts had been placed by Old Mary The Butcher. Old Mary supplied meat to the neighborhood, no questions asked, and none answered. I was, quite naturally, terrified. But she was not filling her freezers. She was building an army.

THE LOST CAT PODCAST SEASON 3, BY A P CLARKE, EPISODE 3: RATS

Have you ever noticed the empty buildings in your city? If you go out to the edges of your neighborhood, four or five streets away from your hight street, you will find them, unused, boarded up, too run down even for squatting. Try getting up high at sundown and watch the lights come on. Count the holes in the skyline. These empty buildings: once you notice them, they are everywhere. Now: Old Mary was amazing. Make no mistake, she was the best butcher there was. She used every part. She’d say things like: "Beef is hard because a cow is so damn big. Lamb, though, there’s lots of options." And: "The interesting thing about chickens is their very ubiquity make smaller, gamier birds more valuable." I contacted her through the advert and I asked to meet. She said "Of course, m'dear!" She was an enormous wall of a lady. She must have weighed a ton, and she never, ever stopped moving such that there was a momentum in her that had been building up for years and there was nothing I knew could stop her now. "Elephants!" she would cry, with palpable yearning. "Do you know just how big an elephant is? Oh!" She was just a lot more there than other people. She hugged me liberally when we met. "You got a cat?" "I lost a cat." "Oh don't you worry, a cat’s better used than eating. You can be assured of that. Stringy little buggers." "Can I ask you a few questions about the cats?" "Well sure, m'dear!" "Why are you after cats?" "Wheat." "Wait, what?" "Wheat. Look this is going to be a long one and I have errands. How about you come with me and i’ll explain on the way." "Sure," I said, though I noticed we were already moving as I said that. "Wheat. We can’t digest it. Central part of so much of our diet and we can’t digest it. We just don't have the enzymes for it. When our stomachs try to eat it, it actually fights back, starts to break down our digestive systems! That's a hell of a thing, ain't it? It is the basis of so much of our diet and it is indisgestible to us. It’s true you know." And it is. You can look it up. "Bloated, tired – you get that after eating wheat, and it is due to our bodies trying to deal with this monster in our stomachs." And by then we had came to a large door that she banged her fists on. "Heeyup!", she yelled. "I have been trying to cut down," I said. "I hear you," she said. The door opened onto the back of a bakers. "Hard to cut it out though, innit?" As the smell  of fresh bread from inside filled the alleyway, I said: "Yeah." The man who opened the door gave a her a huge sack  and then slammed the door shut again. "Stale," she explained, and then shoved it at me. I took a hold of it. "Next up, the grocers," she exclaimed, already striding off. We came away from the grocers with dripping sacks of vegetables, and I was happy to be carrying the bread. "Come on," she cried as she turned down an alley I didn't even know existed. "Nearly there!" She never stopped striding ahead, and she never stopped her commentary. "But there is an animal that has the right enzymes to digest wheat and that’s... OH MY GOD!" In the dimness of the dusk I could make out a mass on the paving stones – bulging and heavy, with no discernable shape. I could see legs and what was left of orange fur. "Get my bag. We hit the jackpot tonight!" She picked up the dead, putrifying body of the fox by the back feet and lifted ittowards me. "Come on, come on, open it up." I opened the bag up and leant away as far as I could as she lowered the long dead animal in. "Oh lord, if you're gonna be like that I’ll take it," and she grabbed the bag from me. "It’s lucky to get one before it’s been hollowed out." She saw my face. "Oh you big silly. Come on," and we continued on. "Do you know what animals can digest wheat?" "Cats?" I said. "Rats," she said. "Rats," I said. We walked down alley way after alley way, the streets getting narrower and darker as we went. I could barely hear traffic. "Eat about anything, rats." "So we eat the rats?" "No," she said. "We sell the enzymes!" She really was great. She was the best. "So what if all that bread didn't bloat you up before the main course? What if it made you want more? Makes sense, eh? There's a demand for that, right? And if there’s one thing a city isn’t short of, it’s rats." She was finding a use for the rats. She used every part. "But kind hard to catch them, right?" And we approached a large warehouse, utterly dark in the heavy dusk – dirty, broken, unused, boarded up and chained, barely standing. She turned and beamed. "We FARM ‘em." I looked at the building, and then at our bags of rotting food. Just above the low humming of the city around us I was sure I could hear a kind of throbbing, rustling sound coming form within, very much as if a very small noise was being made thousands and thousands of times. I sighed. "Come on. Come and help me get these bags up this ladder." I was already two rungs up when she said this. We got to the top and gathered around a skylight in the roof. I looked in, and it was entirely dark in there. There was nothing at all to see, save for the merest traces of the outline of the room below. All I got out of the skylight was a slightly musty smell and a draught of warm air. Unceremoniously, Mary chucked in the bags of bread and fox and the darkness moved. It writhed. It exploded. It bulged up towards us and the sound echoed around the tin walls and the glass of the area's warehouses. The sound of uncountable feet scrabbling. The sound of rough and dirty fur up against itself. The sound of teeth. Their movement released the smell, the smell hit me, and I passed out. I woke up halfway down the ladder. I had checked out, but my body had kept going, trying to get as far away from that smell as possible. Old Mary had a gentle but entirely unmoveable arm around me, calmly, but firmly, ushering me back up. "You don't entirely get used it, but it means the colony is healthy so I've grown to like it." "Oh good," I said, as she helped me up the rest of the way. I sat down heavily, and she produced a bottle. "Job's a good'un," she said. "Look, you've a been a great help tonight and I wanna thank you," and she passed me a cup. "Hey, do you know the one about the three-legged pig?" I took the cup, "I can't say I do?" "Oh never mind then," and she raised her cup. "Every part!" . And I cheersed her back. "Every part!" I replied. And so, sitting on top of a warehouse full of rats, about four minutes before the roof collapsed, we shared a large glass of wine.

<music starts 'Big Bald Bessy's Drum', written by A P Clarke. Performed by 76>

Let's all buy a round, let's all gather round, Big Bald Bessy's drum! Sing Hosannah now, the Lord is gonna come!

Well she's bald as a football and she's only got one leg and that's as thick as a tree-trunk and her bones are filled with lead and she kicked a man to death but that was long ago they say and now she kicks for Jesus singing 'the Lord is on his way!' And she'll beat the thunder silent she'll crash the lightning black she'll beat the bastards down and then she'll beat the bastards back Her sticks are made from bones and all her drums are made from skin so: Sing, sing sing!

Let's all buy a round, let's all gather round, Big Bald Bessy's drum! Sing Hosannah now, the Lord is gonna come!

Her band are all cured lunatics, criminals and scum and to a man they changed their ways when they heard Big Bessy's drum Napoleon was blown apart when he heard the bugle call and Falstaff sang the melody as he let the city fall And they don't ask for forgiveness and they don't ask for reward Damocles says 'if you please, damn your bloody sword!' Heaven's full of corpses and the grave is full of kings, so: Sing, sing sing!

Let's all buy a round, let's all gather round, Big Bald Bessy's drum! Sing Hosannah now, the Lord is gonna come!

It's cold and it is dark outside, there's nothing for you there so if you're feeling lonely come inside and grab a chair the lines of politicians, and the lines of your old songs But Big Bald Bessy plays the lines the stars do move along And the angels fall from heaven the demons from below they're all still queuing up getting tickets for the show, so: step right up and move along, we've got just the thing: Sing, sing sing!

Let's all buy a round, let's all gather round, Big Bald Bessy's drum! Sing Hosannah now, the Lord is gonna Sing Hosannah now, the Lord is gonna Sing Hosannah now, the Lord is gonna come!

The roof collapsed. Some combination of rotting frameworks in the walls, gnawed-through supports on the floor, and some undesigned-for weight on the celing meant the roof simply gave way and we fell in a shower of rusted iron, splintering beams and shattering glass, down in to the sea of rats. the rats parted as we fell, showing suprising sense. We landed painfully on the floor. But it was the floor: it was damp, mind, but it was not alive. When we got up, the great hall was empty, but for a few corpses caught by the collapse. "Ooh, you've got some glass in your arm," Mary said. I looked down and there was a six inch shard of old window sticking out of my forearm. "Oh," I said. Mary came over to me and yanked the glass out, then wiped it clean on her jacket. "We have to be careful with blood, round here." she said, and then threw the glass away. there was a rustling over from where the glass landed as if it was being checked, just in case. Mary ripped up some of her shirt, and wrapped it around my wound. "Right then," I said. "So where the exit?" !Well I had to block all the doors up tight, didn't I?" said Mary. "That's just sense!" "Okay," I looked around. My footsteps began to crunch. I took out my phone and turned the torch on. "I don't suppose there'd be any signal in here?" "Oh, there's signal everywhere. But what's the point? Rats'll strip a body in minutes." And she pointed past me. I pointed the torch that way, and saw bones. A mountain of bones, stretching right across the floor: bare, but not clean. But it was not the amount that got to me, it was that they were organised. At the front was a wash of tiny, delicate bones, so small they'd bend rather than break. But then the bones got bigger and bigger towards the centre of the mountain: legs and ribs gave way to hips and skulls. She said, "incredible ain't it?" and I head for the first time in her voice something approaching awe. "I've heard stories," I said. "When a colony reaches a certain size, the colony produces a leader. they start acting smarter, start planning, start being...sentient." And she laughed like an earthquake "I think you mean rat-kings: twelve rats tied by their tales in a circle at the centre of a swarm." "Yes, I think I mean that." "Look, I ain't saying people don't tie rats together. I just reckon those rats are too busy getting constantly crapped on to organise anything. No, look: you think the sea cares about the shore? But the sand is sorted, just the same. These rats aren't sentient: they're tidal. Its the sheer numbers moving round that're sorting the bones. All the way from door-mice..." she motioned from the front towards the back. " ...to dobermans." I said, "I'm fairly sure dogs don't get that big." She peered at the pile, "I've seen dogs bigger." "You seen them with thumbs?" "Well it depends what they had for dinner," she said, as she started to make her way through the bones. "Sorry to make a mess of your pile, yer little nibblers." She made her way to the far wall, "And the reason they sorted them in this pattern is...ah yes, here it is" The skulls fell away and revealed a huge steel hatch. "And what's through there?" I asked. "Well, the cats, of course." "The cats." "I never got to finish my story, did I. Well, i'm not the one that does the farming. I let the rats build up in numbers, and then I put the cats in. It's very easy to collect what's left, i've found.." She picked up a heavy control swtich. "The next warehouse over is absolutely full of cats, and this tunnel links them. Now:" She walked over to me. "For this to work, we are gonna need the rats gathered in the main chamber so..." She pulled the bandage off my arm and threw it into the centre of the room. the blood dripped from it onto the floor, as fresh blood oozed up from my wound and began running down my hand. A rumbling rose up in the space. Another blast of the smell was released. The darkness moved, and the chamber began filling with rats. They approached, and then sniffed and then ripped in to pieces the bandage, and then started towards me. More and more rats. Thousands of them. I couldn't see the floor. "Nice," she said. "I think i'd rather be in the other warehouse," I said. "Oh really? Rats only kill when they're hungry. Cats kill because they can." "Well then let's not open the hatch." "Rats is always hungry," said Mary. And the rats milled around at my feet in ever greater numbers. Waves of them, lapping at my shins. "I'd suggest standing very still. And closing your eyes. And putting your hands in your pockets. Actually, maybe under your armpits." "And what about...?" "Well try and tuck that in somewhere too, eh?" "Okay," I said. The rats began climbing me. "Now. Hold your breath." And she pulled the switch. The metal hatch clanged up and revealed the tunnel to the warehouse full of cats. All the rats stopped. I could feel them on my feet, lifting their noses in to the air. Then the smell of the rats hit the cats and a low, seismic roar of growls came from back down the tunnel. With my eyes closed, and my breath held, I could only feel the movement. It was almost entirely silent. Nothing was mewling or squeaking in anger or in fear. There was only the sound of coarse fur, and teeth in flesh. And soon the sound changed as the fur and the floor became wet. But Mary and me were left mostly untouched as the battle was raged around us. The animals swarmed, focusing solely on their prey and their threat and treating us as little more than furniture. Every so often a cat would land on my shoulders before heading back in; their claws dug in, and their wet fur wiping itself across my face as they did. Higher and higher the sea of animals rose, to my knees and, god help me, to my thighs, and I beagan swaying on my feet from the currents within it. And then the numbers tipped, the battle turned, and animals drained from me, leaving me standing, quivering, by myself. I dared to open my eyes, and all that was left was bodies. The warehouse full of tiny, slick furred bodies. The cats had all returned to their warehouse. Mary was looking around too. "Ooo, look at that! That's marvellous!" She looked at me, up and down. "Hmmm," she said. "How much of that blood, do you reckon, is yours?" I said "I am going to fall over" and then I fell over. She was holding me around the waist as we walked slowly back to the high street. For the tunnel led back to the warehouse of the cats, which had a functional staircase and a skylight allowing us, finally, unsteadily, to leave. "Am I okay?" I asked. "Ooo, you've been quite the snack, but you'll be alright." My hand reached down towards my legs and she laughed "oh, you'll be okay," she said. "Look: you've been really helpful, and I wanna thank you for the evening." "Well, it was very eventful," I said. "I'll be sure to keep you in meat for a while yet, eh? I'll get some of my special sausages over to your place." "Oh? And how do you make those?" And she laughed like an earthquake, pinched my cheek, and did not answer. As we were walking home she said "I should really tell you then one about the three-legged pig... " Well I must admit my memory got hazy after that, but if you are about after sunset, get up somewhere high and look out at the lights on the skyline and the gaps inbetween. wait a while, until it is really quiet, and listen: you never never know what you might hear.

THIS HAS BEEN THE THIRD EPISODE OF THE LOST CAT PODCAST, SEASON 3, TITLED 'RATS', WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY A P CLARKE. COPYRIGHT 2017.

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.

Links

thelostcat.libsyn.com

twitter.com/LostCatPod

thelostcatpodcast.tumblr.com

facebook.com/lostcatpodcast

soundcloud.com/a-p-clarke/sets/the-lost-cat-podcast

apclarke.bandcamp.com/releases

[doubledrivel-blog]

07. NBA Opening Night - Cleveland Cavaliers vs Boston Celtics - Gordon Hayward’s Gruesome Ankle Injury

Greg: Hello and welcome to a special opening night episode of Double Drivel. We are normally a weekly podcast offering a fan's perspective on the news and issues surrounding the NBA, but tonight we are here for an opening night special. Thank you for joining us. My name is Greg and I am joined as always by my co-host JT. You can find us on Twitter @doubledrivelers or email us at doubledrivelpodcast@gmail.com. JT

it is opening night. what is up my friend?

JT: I am so excited my friend. I cannot believe it is finally opening night and the big game has actually already finished. The Celtics verse the Cavs. I can't wait to talk about it with you.

Greg: Do you believe that they actually played basketball on a court today with people watching, teams, and a score? They played actual basketball! We're not talking about trades. We're not talking about beefs. We're not talking about all the trash that you can't stand. We have actual games to talk about. Well, game. The other one is in progress right now. They have that disgusting ring ceremony going on, but we'll get to that later.

JT: Boots on the ground Greg. It's over. The Cavs have defeated the Celtics by a score of 102 to 99. This game was chock full of hot action, and I would love to tell you about something that happened during this game. may I?

Greg: There was a ton of news, huge news, but please go on

JT: One player in particular had a performance that I don't think any owners prepared for tonight Greg. Do you know who I'm talking about?

Greg: Was it Jalen Brown?

JT: Pretty good. He looked pretty solid tonight, but no.

Greg: Was it Derrick Rose?

JT: Derrick Rose took the second most shots on the Cavs. Did you see that guy took 14 shots tonight? Who the hell is Derrick Rose to think he can take 14 shots? Derrick Rose showed up a little bit more than I think anyone was ready for tonight Gregg. Derrick Rose looked phenomenal. Did you see him? He did not show any signs of injury. He was shucking and jiving.

Greg: He looked pretty good, but every time he did leave the ground I was worried what would happen. It still worries me every time I see the guy play.

JT: You know the player I'm talking about Gregg, is LeBron James.

Greg: Whoa, LeBron James playing better than you expected?

JT: Better than I expected. in fact, he looked like Peake LeBron. Like play off LeBron. My man looks so good. Not missing the beat, looking strong, looking just incredible.

Greg: That's how he tends to look though. That's just his thing. That guy comes to play every single day. It's unbelievable, just amazing. LeBron James, definitely the big news story out of that Cavs Celtics game. There is really nothing else to talk about, nothing else major happened.

We're burying the lead here, let's get to the real action. It was pretty gruesome. I don't think there's a better word, you got a better word than gruesome?

JT: Gordon Hayward had one of the worst ankle injuries I've ever seen in real life. It's not in real life, but like on TV right in front of me. That's real life to me.

Greg: That counts. That is probably one of the most gruesome ankle injuries I've ever seen. It wasn't pointing in the correct direction. It didn't look like an ankle looks. There were so many things that were wrong. I'm not good at looking at injuries or anything. I can't stand it. It makes me sick to my stomach. I feel it on me. Whatever it is I feel it, and it makes me feel bad. What about you? I know he was on the Utah Jazz for a long time. I know there was some sour grapes with him leaving, but yeah nobody wishes for that to happen to anybody.

JT: Let it let it be known Greg, I hate this motherfucker. I hate Gordon Hayward. I hate how he chose to play his exit from Utah. It was not the way you want to do it, but not how you want to see anyone go down. This looks like a nasty injury. They're calling it a fracture, but if this is a fracture man, I don't know what a break is. This shit was bent so far backwards-

Greg: I thought a fracture was a break? What's a fracture? A contusion is a break a fracture?

JT: It is my understanding from what I've read on Twitter that a fracture-

Greg: Oh my god, Twitter! Holy shit, my Twitter medical degree tells me that he's got a break. Just cut it clean off and hope the next one that grows back is better.

JT: If you're a sports fan I think you want it to be a fracture more so than a break.

Greg: If you're a sports fan you don't want that happening to your guy. I don't think you'd give a shit what it is. My god it was disgusting. It was a botched alley-oop. It was just not good. You're going to Gordon

Hayward five minutes into the first the first game fucking. He does an alley-oop from like the three-point range, are you fucking kidding me? Did they do this in practice? Is that why? I just I don't understand why your high-flying Gordon Hayward into the fucking paint up against LeBron and Tristan Thompson are you fucking kidding me? I can't believe that happened, but that's the risk all along. You make these teams, you assemble all these people, and in a flash somebody's injured. They're gone, and then you don't have them all season. The best laid plans of mice and men and yada yada you know?

JT: We got some hot info off of the Google machine from our friend Mitch in the back. A fracture and a broken bone are the same thing Dr. Greg. That's one point for doctor .

Greg: What is a contusion? Can I connect to mitch again? Can I throw a contusion to Mitch?

JT: Mitch can you check out what the Google machine says about the contusion? What is contusion? Meanwhile Greg, not good for Boston and their high hopes of fucking run in the mill on the

east this season. This is your boy, you paid a 138 million dollars for this guy. That's a problem. When I looked at the roster tonight, and the people that were playing, those guys are playing hard. They like playing for that coach. This is not a shitty team. Do you think that they can get by without him?

Greg: They don’t know shit. They don't know exactly. They don't have anything. They're not used to having him so they can just go on without him. I don't think that he's that special of a player that they can't adapt or find somebody to fill his role. What does he do best? You watched him for how many years? What is his skill? What are they gonna miss the most with Gordon Hayward twisted up like a pretzel in the ankle?

JT: Nothing at the moment. In Utah the offense was built around him and that's not the case in Boston. They have Kyrie, who can create a double for himself at any point, and Hayward was like a best case

second option. Brilliant game plan by Brad Stevens, but I don't  know at this point when you have this 35 million dollar-a-year players sitting on the bench with a broken ankle for god knows how long –

Greg: Oh my god I wish we could overlay a huge picture of that disgusting ankle any time we're talking about it. You got to be able to see it. It's just awful. None of them could look at it. The guys on the court, the guys off the court, they all  walked immediately. They must have turned and looked real quick, because that shit wasn't pointing in the right direction. He's sitting there screaming in pain, and they look down for a second, saw that that's why, and they all walked away.

JT: Greg, Mitch says contusion is a bruise. That's when there  is bleeding under the skin that may or may not be due to trauma. It's like a black and blue okay? That's what a contusion is. Way less severe than a

fracture or break. A fracture is a break and that's a problem.

Greg: You don't want that when you're playing basketball. You need nickels and neat knees and legs and fibbies and tibias and all that fun stuff. you don't want to break those.

JT: These guys are always thinking big picture, and you don't want to ruin your shit in the attempt to get back in the game sooner. You have more worth if you play longer.

Greg: Did you see that a Skip Bayless was a getting a little loud about all this? He was running his mouth. He had some comments that people are just not happy with. He took the opportunity as soon as the injury happened to jump on Twitter and talk about how this opened up a chance for LeBron to lose a sixth title much easier this time. Everybody always goes to their own selfish nature when things happen, but that just seemed dirty. It was minutes after the injury happened, and the only thing that he could think of was that this was gonna make it easier for LeBron to lose another championship.

JT: As the kids say, he is throwing a lot of shade. What's up with Skip? LeBron often takes the high road, and to take the opportunity for an injury? You can say a lot of things about these NBA players, but when someone gets injured you rarely if ever see anyone talking shit about someone who has had the ill fortune of taking a bad hit. Fuck you Skip Bayless, that's like the lowest hanging fruit. Kudos to LeBron for you taking a moment to embrace a word while he was down. He seemed to say a word or two to him give him a couple pats in the back. All these NBA players who have taken a moment to say something on Twitter take the high road. It's not even the high road, It's just the fucking road of being human. You all are just playing basketball. I hate the shit out of Gordon Hayward, but not in this aspect.

Greg: Paul George put out a message out on-

JT: If anybody knows how to go down with a horrific injury in your leg, it's Paul George.

Greg: He immediately put a message out on Twitter. Brian Winthorse said that LeBron went to the Cavs locker room where they had Gordon Hayward, He checked them out at halftime just to see how everything was. Classy guy. Plays basketball like a bastard. You could say a lot of stuff about LeBron, but you cannot tell me he's not a good guy.

JT: The average recovery time for that particular injury is six to eight weeks. That's about two months. We're in October now Greg. Hayward could be returning sometime in the new year.

Greg: The obvious question would be, is that six to eight weeks for a world-class athlete, or is that six to eight weeks for some guy that goes and sits at a desk all day and doesn't actually use his ankle?

JT: Greg unfortunately we didn't pay the retainer on our on our office position, so information is limited to whatever Mitch can get for us.

Greg: I understand.

JT: He's is not a Karl Malone type. Reckless abandonment, throw caution to the wind. What we remember of Gordon Hayward-

Greg: No, I can't imagine that being his MO. I'm always amazed how many players have gone through Utah I was saw the thing about Richard Jefferson the other day and I forgot that he was on Utah for a while.

JT: He's a Jazz man Greg.  There's so many people who cycle through that team. It's actually incredible when you look back but people don't stay everybody cycles through. I think that's a problem.

Greg: We've gone off on a tangent here. Anything else you noticed in the game? I had one thing that made me laugh. At the end of the Celtics game Kyrie went to his spot behind the three-point line that he likes to go. The spot where he hit his famous shot over Steph Curry. He had LeBron guarding him and he took that shot. The shot was short. They lost immediately. He embraced LeBron, and LeBron embraced him, and then all the other Cavs lined up to do the same thing, but they all still had their custom handshakes that they did with him when he was there. It made me think of all the wasted custom handshakes they had. They all had these different elaborate things that they did with him, and now they won't do them anymore. It's amazing all the little things they have. They don't seem to harbor any ill will about him leaving. It kind of cuts down on the drama just a bit from the NBA

JT: The handshakes were looking pretty good to me. Are you are you saying they were all the same ones from last season?

Greg: I don't know if they're the same from last season. I don't know how often they change it. I know that the Kevin Love Kyrie Irving handshake is different than the Kevin Love LaVon shake. 

 JT: It was a fun game. The Hayward shit was weird as fuck. It started off with that, and then the the Cavs totally took over for two quarters. Celtics came back at halftime, and it was competitive for sure. 

Greg: Brad Stevens is a good coach.

JT: They had some good still shots of him after the Heyward injury. He looked panicked. He looks scared. 

Greg: He planned so much. All they ever say is he's like a lunatic with how much he plans. It's like sitting on a chair and somebody rips a leg off.

JT: Contingency plans are something I think a lot of people don't plan for. Especially with these young coaches, it's interesting to see how they respond when shit hits the fan. I wouldn't say he immediately responded, but these are some of the subplots that make the NBA the greatest fucking thing in the world.

Greg: They were playing hard. I didn't expect them to be playing right to the buzzer like that. That was a good game. They was some quality basketball. It's great to start off like that.

I'd like to talk about the ring ceremony. What's your feeling on the ring ceremonies? Do you think they should even have it?

JT: I feel like this is a loaded question Greg. You know how I'm gonna feel about this.

Greg: If the Jazz won, and the next season on the first game they had the ring ceremony, would you say to yourself this sucks, or would you be like yeah, this is so good?

JT: It never makes any sense to do any type of ceremony outside of two weeks of the event. For them to be attempting to do anything related to last season, that's too far. That's disconnected. No one gives a shit yeah.

Greg: I don't think looking backwards is good in this instance.

JT: No one knows what you're talking about. It's so dumb. They should do it two weeks after like they do an awards parade. 

Greg: It's not even about the Rings, the people can’t see the rings. They're gonna do a big opening thing anyway for the team that won the championship. Having the actual physical ring ceremony is a bit unnecessary. You're right. That's a good point. You have an event within two weeks of something happening. After that you-

JT: Say it again, say it again. 

Greg That you're right? 

JT: Yeah 

Greg: Yeah yeah, you never hear that....

JT: I'm watching the Hayward break. Oh my god Greg. Oh fuck me.

Greg: It's terrible. It's absolutely terrible.

JT: As the night goes on you get better and better clips. This one's pretty goddamn good. 

Greg: There's one awful still where he's just laying there. He's looking down at his feet. 

JT: Who tossed that pass? Let's see who tossed that pass.

Greg: That's what I'm saying. Look how far away it was. It was like from three-point range. What are you doing? It's Gordon fucking Hayward.

JT: Its Kyrie Greg:

Greg: Reckless motherfucker. Selfish, reckless motherfucker, that's what I call him. That  flat earth bastard fucking throwing passes because he doesn’t understand gravity and the fucking rotation of the earth its gonna bring the ball down. He’s trying to get his man killed. Look who's defending. Is it Tristan Thompson and LeBron? 

JT: This is a play the Jazz ran all last season. You know who would love this? You know who is running the point in lieu of Kyrie Irving? 

Greg: George Hill?

JT: No, you’re fucking man Joe Ingles. If you google “Joe Ingles lob Gordon Hayward” you will see this play done at least six to ten times last season. Hayward starts a little further out during the Jazz plays. I think this is just a case of getting to know the spacing a little bit better and understanding how your new teammates respond to certain situations. The Jazz ran this play so many times last season, and Hayward finishes I'm gonna say 80 to 90% of the time. All of his big-time dunks that were highlighted, it's all an Ingles lob, just like this play. 

Greg: Did he do it into LeBron and Tristan Thompson though? Was that a Joe Ingles lob? Was he trying to get Hayward killed?

JT: I don't think Ingles would lead him into these fucking killers like that, but I can't be sure. D

Greg: Does that paint look open to alley-oops? Is that a lob lane to you? What the hell is going on? 

JT: This seems to me like something they talked about, and this is complete speculation, but they look at tape like “yo I hit this place so many times last season. Check the tapes. Look at it,” but in the times last season Hayward had a lot more open floor. This is way too crowded.

Greg: You're going into a couple pillars in there, and you ain't winning that battle, as we saw.

JT: So soon Greg. As basketball plays go that's fairly high risk. Why do that so soon the season? 

Greg: Doesn't make any sense to me.

JT: The hot clips are coming. We have so much evidence to back this up.

Greg: He's just throwing the lob in there without any regard. He practiced against those guys. He knows LeBron and Tristan Thompson. If they're in the lane and some guys coming in for an alley-oop do you think they're letting that happen? Do you think that's the kind of thing even in practice they were letting happen? No. It’s just reckless.

He's looking for a clip. He's looking for that SportsCenter highlight. This is a bad play. 

Greg: Do you have anything else you would like to go over in our special opening night edition?

JT: We'll see how the Warriors game plays out. If we need to we'll be here tomorrow night.

Greg: We certainly will. Great episode. We'll be back next week. In the mean time you can  follow us on twitter @doubledrivelers or you can email us at doubledrivelpodcast@gmail.com. Subscribe to the show on iTunes, podbean, or Google Play. Until next week see you on the Internet.

[fesahaawit]

10 Years of Budgets Are Sexy :)

Here’s something crazy – as of today, I’ve been blogging for over 25% of my life!

10 years of blogging, building, experimenting, community, friends, exploration, growth, loss, and just general happiness that we’re all still together here doing our thing and having fun :)

How lucky are we?? And how awesome that someone invented the internet for us?! Haha…

I couldn’t have guessed this a decade ago, but boy am I thankful for this crazy twist of fate and I’m so curious to see what’ll happen next.

Here are the Cliffs Notes version of how we got to this place so far:

In 2007 went looking for a 2 bedroom apartment to rent

Got lost and ended up buying a $350,000 house on a whim, 48 hours later, and with no money down or any idea what the heck I was doing

Went online searching for a budget as I didn’t have one (*blasphemy!*)

Came across the blogging world and fell in love with the transparency of everyone

Started my own personal finance blog to have fun and be held more accountable!

It unexpectedly took off, reaching 25 Million views in total over the years

Went on to become a full-time, self-employed blogger/entrepreneur

Increased personal net worth from $50,000 to $800,000+

Won 12 industry awards, including Blog of The Year and Lifetime Achievement

Became a Blogging Coach, Money Coach, Podcaster, FinTech advisor, FinTech Judge, Builder, Seller, Shutting Down’er, Husband, Father of 2, and most recently, a Curator

Launched two philanthopy projects that raised over $110,000 for people all over the country

Launched the industry’s first searchable financial blog directory now tracking over 1,500 blogs

Whittled everything back down to the one true love that started it all – Budgets Are Sexy :)

No way I coulda guessed all that, right? Haha…

And if you think it happened “overnight”, think again… It took 28 years and 35 jobs to even get to the START of this journey! Along with a lot of soul searching and stumbling around too…

Before I became a blogger, I became many other things:

Babysitter

Lawn Cutter

Pet Watcher/Walker

Camp Counselor

Grocery Store Stocker

Day Care Worker

Bagel Maker

Bowling Alley Attendant

Prep Cook

Book Store Associate

Gadzooks Worker (remember that store?)

Sandwich Maker

Construction Site Trash Hauler

Timeshare Representative (<– The worst)

Stamp Factory Assembly Line Worker

Photographer

Kid Shelter Volunteer

Assistant Photo Editor

Photo Editor

Assistant Photo Editor Intern

Boat Rental Worker

Totaled Car Washer

Dish Washer

Old Navy Associate

TV Show PA (Production Assistant)

Travel Agent

Airline Ticket Agent

Customer Service Rep

Customer Service Assistant Manager

Realtor

Customer Service Manager

Product Manager

Customer Service Director

Project Manager

Graphic Designer

And then finally… Blogger/Hustler/Accidental Entrepreneur :)

(You can see the full list, along with pay and brief descriptions here –> My Entire Work History)

But the journey doesn’t end here either, oh no!

Even when you do finally figure out where you’re supposed to be in life, there’s still the narrowing it down even further within your field of focus! It’s like dipping your toes into a puddle, only realizing it’s actually an ocean – full of even more possibilities! haha…

And we’ve got a list that showcases what that’s looked like so far over the decade too ;)

Here is the total # of projects I’ve worked on in each of the past 10 years, with emoji’s and all:

1 laptop = 1 project (blog, website, charity, etc)

2008:

2009:

2010:

2011:

2012:

2013:

2014:

2015:

2016:

2017:

2018:

And then here it is again, but this time with more context around it:

2008:

<– started a blog, wee!

2009:

<– oh, you can make money with this? Let me start more!

2010:

<– what, you can also BUY blogs?? I’ll take 3!

2011:

<– and 4,5,6,7 – I want an empire, please!

2012:

<– oh wait, life isn’t fun working 20 hours/day…

2013:

<– let’s start shutting some down and selling the rest

2014:

  <– getting closer, but you’re a daddy of two now – keep going!

2015:

<– ahh that’s the spirit…. nice and relaxing…

2016:

<– but you know what, something is off… Maybe adding a podcast will help?

2017:

<– hmm… how about building out all your other ideas you’ve always wanted?

2018:

<– you know what, I think you had it right all along in 2008

And so, after 10 years of building and blogging and experimenting, I finally figured out where my heart belonged in the first place: BudgetsAreSexy.com :)

And Lord knows this probably isn’t the end of the line either, haha…

(Shout out to Ty for this one, haha… well played, sir ;))

But here’s the biggest thing I’ve learned throughout all this: the more time you spend doing stuff you LOVE, the more opportunities that come your way.

Maybe not at first, and maybe not so drastically as we often see in the movies or in the media, but by pouring your heart into something that TRULY MATTERS TO YOU, you are asking the world for more of it, and it will provide so long as you’re adding value to the world.

The only difference between how I’m working now vs how I was working the first 28 years of my life is that everything I now do revolves around my “calling.” The money and success are all afterthoughts, but ironically flow in even more because (surprise surprise) you work better when you’re excited!

Not everyone gets to live out their passions, and of course sometimes a job really is just a job, but I truly hope that by virtue of being on this blog you realize just how OPEN this world is for potential out there. And not only that, but how much all of us NEED YOU in this world creating things and making our lives better too!

All the Facebooks and Amazons, iPhones, Teslas – they all come from people’s minds who really believed in what they were working on and would have done it with or without the money that came. And in the blogging world, it was people like Jonathan from My Money Blog and Trent from The Simple Dollar who first opened up my eyes to talking about money and sharing finances online. Without them shining the light, who knows what job # I’d be on these days… Probably #67! ;)

All this to say that life is full of opportunities, and almost every single one of us has the ability to go after something we enjoy, whether we only have one hour to apply to it or a hundred hours.

How far you go is dependent on a bunch of other variables, along with how lucky you get, but if this random mohawked guy can turn his life around like this, I believe anyone can. I didn’t have a lick of experience in either finance or writing (and my past archives clearly show this!) but again, it’s amazing what happens when you just go for something because you’re genuinely interested in it and care.

I’ll stop here before this turns into even more of a novel, but please know I am BEYOND thankful for each and every one of you letting me into your lives over the years, and please also know that I’ve appreciated every last comment and email/tweet/facebook message/skype call/meetup/forum post and any other ways we’ve communicated with each other in the past.

It’s been an honor getting to know you guys, and I very much look forward to doing more of it :)

We’ll see what the next 10 years bring, but if God forbid something happens to me today (hopefully after this blog post goes out!) please know I am one happy guy and only wish the best for all of you too.

If I can ever help with anything, I hope you’ll let me know.

To another 10 years of adventure and happiness!

************ PS: For a look at other things I’ve learned over the years blogging, click on any of the past blogiversary posts (but probably stick with the ones up top, unless you like reading about blog stats ;))

9 Things I No Longer Do With My Money

8 Fails Over 8 Years of Blogging

7 Things I’ve Learned in 7 Years of Blogging

6 Years Ago Today…

5 Years Ago Today This Blog Was Born :)

Budgets Are Sexy Turns 4!

Budgets Are Sexy Turns 3. (Which is 87 in blog years)

Budgets Are Sexy Turns 2! (holler)

Budgets Are Sexy turns 1 today! I can’t believe it…

10 Years of Budgets Are Sexy :) posted first on http://lionelcapital.blogspot.com

[airadam]

Episode 95 : Record Store Way

"Studying my sickness like the Tuskegee Experiment."

- Ilajide

In a world with all kinds of options for DJs, there's a lot to be said for just two turntables, a mixer, and some crates!

This month's show has more new releases than the average episode, including some local heat. We also have a track from the late Guru (RIP always), and one or two of my headphone favourites finally coming out into the light!

Upcoming Manchester shows mentioned;

London Posse @ Rebellion, May 23rd

Kool G Rap @ Sound Control, June 21st

Twitter: @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Sean Price : Definition Of God

It's a shame to think that all the Sean Price tracks we'll ever hear are already out in the world somewhere. On this posthumously-released single from this March, Sean blasts the Stu Bangas instrumental with his trademark mixture of rapping dexterity and casual, disrespectful brutality. I know I'm not alone in looking forward to the "Imperius Rex" LP - this is is right up my alley!

Ilajide : Dance Of The Psudo

Ilajide is the man behind the boards for the brilliant Clear Soul Forces, but he's also putting out some very good solo material that's definitely worth your attention! This is a burner from "Five Week Heet III", one of the lead-ups to the "Heet Tape" album release.

Tribeca : Wheel Of Fortune

A favourite of mine for years which I finally got a legit copy of (from the "Subway Series Vol.1" compilation) thanks to the modern convenience of digital purchase! Self-produced as always, the Bronx MC and MPC-batterer tells a tale of a dice game gone very wrong over a fitting 70s sample and some punching drums & bass. I won't give the sample away - to be fair, it's not a hard one to discern - but I do like the way it's been used. Using a three-bar segment for the title breakdown is awkward for a DJ, but it does sound good :)

Rapsody : Kingship

Making a return visit to Rapsody's "She Got Game" mixtape for a short and sweet cut with the legendary DJ Premier. Rapsody has one of those bell-clear voices that works so well for an MC, and lyrics to go along with it. Apparently Premo once tried to give this beat to Ludacris, but it was a little too experimental for him to do anything with!

KING : Red Eye (DJ Spinna Blissed-Out Remix)

My man Agent J from Groovement was up on this three-woman group out of Los Angeles very early, but I'm just getting up to speed on their 2016 debut "We Are King" now. It's a high-quality, ambient-flavoured R&B album with its own kind of flavour, and hopefully it's just a taste of the things yet to come! The great DJ Spinna is on the remix here and gives them some extra bass and head-nod drums to take the original "Red Eye" to new heights.

A.D. Carson : Dissertation (Part I The Introduction)

This project has something of a unique origin, which alone was enough to catch my interest. A.D. Carson was a Ph.D candidate at Clemson University who turned in his dissertation for the Rhetoric, Communication, and Information Design program in an unusual form - a full album. "Owning My Masters : The Rhetoric of Rhymes and Revolutions" is worth a listen on both its musical and academic merits, especially as a "name your price" Bandcamp release. Give a student a few dollars though! This track is a solid opener from the album, and A.D. makes excellent and appropriate use of a sample from "Malcolm X" after the hook. 

Pro P : Concrete Jungle

Almost pure drums here from one of Manchester's busiest beatmakers, on this track from the first "Concrete Jungle" beat tape.

Ran Reed ft. Sadat X : The God's Power

Hailing from New Jersey, Ran Reed was one of those guys who put in mad independent work in the mid-90s, with underground 12" releases, guest appearances, and mixtape cuts. Only this year has he finally released his debut album, and while longtime collaborator Nick Wiz contributed several beats, Ran also self-produces many, including this one. A Sadat X guest appearance is always a win, and he provides a nicely contrasting vocal tone.

Children of Zeus : Don't Say A Word

They just keep on killing it. This is the B-side of the "I Can't Wait" 7" and it knocks! Konny Kon and Tyler have a great album in them, and I am 100% here for it whenever it arrives; in the meantime, just follow them and be ahead of the curve.

Raekwon : This Is What It Comes Too (sic)

I couldn't have you thinking that I didn't know which "to" to use :) This is the lead single from Rae's new album "The Wild" (big up Dan Lish on the cover art), the first to have no features from any Wu members whatsoever! Xtreme on the beat, working a classic old-school drum break, and the rhyming is prototypical Raekwon street talk.

Guru ft. Branford Marsalis : Transit Ride

RIP Guru! I definitely wanted to play some Guru this month and was pleased to find a track of his with the same drum break as the preceding cut. He was a pioneer in making links between the Hip-Hop nation and the world of jazz, and the first "Jazzmatazz" was a landmark. Here's another link - Guru and Premier actually lived in Branford Marsalis' house for a while back in the day! That sounds like it could have made for an amazing TV programme :)

Focus : (Entry no.3) CisumovneZ

Georgia's Focus is a beast on the boards. I could happily have played any number of tracks from the "aNALOG iN a dIGITAL wORLD 2" album, but went for this one. I love the manipulation and warping of the beat as the track progresses, with all kinds of stutters and stops - almost like a modern-day, digital version of the Latin Rascals.

Geechi Suede : London Luton

A number clearly inspired by the globetrotting adventures of Camp Lo's Geechi Suede, from the "Fishnet Skyscrapers" mixtape. This one was so long in coming after the release of the single "Ask About Me", I figured it had been shelved altogether - but it finally came out this month. This actual track was recorded/released in 2016 via the Brapp TV platform, and features the production of NYTELIFE, Rexx, and SaL GuoD (all the casing styles there). It's a suitably spacey background for Geechi's abstract freestyling!

Clear Soul Forces : Fan-Ta-Sa-Ro

So talented, it's a bit ridiculous. Detroit's Clear Soul Forces channel the spirit of their hometown heroes Slum Village on this track, as Slum listeners will recognise from the title and the hook. Ilajide supplies the beat, and this tune from their debut "Detroit Revolution(s)" gave just a taste of the great work to come.

J Chambers : Thought From New Mount Street 2

A brand new freestyle from a Manchester artist on the rise as he prepares to release his "Moment of Silence II : The Road to Perdition" mini-album. Gorgeous beat, dope rhymes - what more do you need? 

Robert Glasper Experiment ft. Ledisi : Gonna Be Alright (F.T.B.)

Needed something with a certain kind of flavour to follow up the J Chambers cut and I think I found it with this beautiful piece from Robert Glasper's first "Black Radio" album. Top-notch instrumentation as you might have expected, undergirding the vocals of the exceptionally talented singer/songwriter Ledisi. Oh yeah, she acts too :) This track got a Grammy nomination, and rightly so. The meaning of "F.T.B." is "off the record", according to Glasper, so take your own guess - but it was also the title of the song this is based on, from The Robert Glasper Trio's "In My Element" album.

Beatnuts : Gonna Fly  (Inst)

From the old "Hydra Beats 5" collection of instrumentals (one of fourteen), just a head-nodder courtesy of Queens' own Beatnuts, some of the most dedicated diggers in the game.

Nas & DJ Shadow : Systematic

I did not see this collaboration coming! One of the greatest ever to pick up a mic, in combination with a legendary producer...on the soundtrack to the "Silicon Valley" TV series? You could have got great odds on that. The beat is funky at the core with the odd glitchy interjection and some synth bass and FX giving it a contemporary feel. Nas can be counted on to come through with the lyrics, and this track is no exception.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!