#like oh? you're humiliated and confused? does that make you upset? take it out on me then.

[callofdudes]

A story for my friend @itsscromp while I finish up some other things for him as well.

For some context this does take place in a sort of siblings/childhood friends au.

Simon was willing to do some crazy things to cheer you up. And I mean, crazy. From tickle attacks to cuddles until his toes to numb and he's got a kink in his neck.

But today is a whole new ordeal. You'd come home from school, a bad day at school. Where you were attending didn't exactly treat you with any respect, and when you'd reported bullying several times you went unanswered.

Today you came home tired. Slinging off your backpack and heading for the couch. You looked pretty bummed, and Simon could tell, sipping his tea in the kitchen.

"You doing ok y/n??"

You shrugged, slumping and turning on the tv. "School..."

Simon could tell you were pretty upset. And it didn't look like you were in any mood for tickles. So he had to think up something different... And then the craziest idea hit him.

Well, worst case it didn't work and you thought he was insane. He put down his tea, and took off his shirt.

You noticed from the corner of your eye and looked over at him. "Simon... What are you doing??"

"Drinking my tea." Simon raises his cup and takes another swig, popping his pecs. For a moment you were confused, and then giggled a little.

Simon continued on, pumping his pecs and sitting down on the couch next to you. And then his eyes widened. "Oh shit- y/n-"

"What's wrong, Simon??" You asked through laughter.

"I can't stop! They're moving on their own!"

"Oh no!" He keeps going, watching you as your face starts to light up more. "Oh no, they're cursed!!" You laughed, watching him pump his pecs.

Simon feigned immense panic. "Who cursed my beautiful pecs!!?"

You were trying to breathe right, laughing. "I don't know!"

"What do I do?? I can't stop them!" Simon smirks, even though it was a tad humiliating. He would only ever do this for you. Oh the life of him.

"Put your hands on them??" You suggest, still laughing.

Simon tries it, but continues on. "No, no they're too bloody strong!"

"Then stop working out." You snorted.

Simon decides he's way in over his head and gasps. "I could never do that! I must keep them beautiful and strong!"

You fell off the couch, snorting loudly, making Simon chuckle. "You ok there??"

"You're funny." You laughed, wiping your tears from the ordeal.

"Me and my pecs." Simon pats them.

You snickered and sighed happily, lightly shaking your head. "Simon... You'll kill me."

"Hey, they hear what people say about them, y'know." You look up, wiping some tears and nodding. "Oh? And what are they saying now?"

Simon considered this, and then looked over at the table. "They say... There's only one piece of chicken left and it's mine!"

You gasped as Simon dashed over. "Hey!" He snatched it up, snickering and licking his lips. Devouring the piece.

You huffed softly. "Unfair."

"My pecs are always one step ahead y'know."

You rolled your eyes softly. "Like I said, unfair. Now I want cuddles." You reached out, Simon frowning.

He popped his pecs and turned slightly. "Hm.. should we?? I know.. I know, it could be dangerous... How long would we go without food or water?" He mumbled, still popping his pecs.

"That is very true..."

"Alright," Simon turned back to you. "We've universally agreed to your request."

"Good." You nodded and got up, heading to the couch. Simon quickly cleaned up and finished up the dishes before going to find you. He stood near you, "We are ready."

You eagerly opened your arms and Simon flopped down on top of you harshly, making you huff. "Hey buddy.." You patted his back.

"Thank you Simon, and Simon's pecs..." You huffed, smiling softly.

"We all say you're welcome." Simon mumbled, snuggling against your neck.

But you weren't alone. Price came down the stairs and saw you two snuggled up. Without a moment to waste he came around and scooped you two up.

You both huffed and grimaced as he squeezed you gently. "Dad..."

"Snuggles without me, huh?"

You and Simon were squished. You looked at Simon, hopeless. "Why didn't your pecs earn us of this!?"

"Well maybe they wanted this, ever consider that!?"

"I'll never understand..."

"No you won't, only I will. You hear??" He huffed softly. You snickered, content, even if you were being crushed.

But Simon always had a way to cheer you up. Through adulthood you and Simon never lost the relationship you'd always had.

Simon could tell when you were bummed out, he didn't always, or ever, know what it was about, but he knew it had to be something. He was a fixer, he had to fix this.

So when he saw you sadly sipping your drink in the kitchen, he moved. He yawned, taking his shirt off.

"Simon?" You looked over at him confused. Simon stretched, "Ah sorry, I've just been hearing voices. Y'know, I think they're acting up."

He moved his pecs, his eyes going slightly wide. "What?? Y/n's been feeling sad?? Whaaaaat? Noo..."

You snickered a little. "They're back?"

Simon patted his stomach and nodded. "Yeah, they've been whispering things to me. We've been having midnight talks." He whispered.

You snorted. "What are you saying??" You laughed.

"They are saying... Y/n looks really good today, and they're proud of how well you're doing." He nodded firmly.

"They would like to give a motivational speech but... They don't have mouths."

"Well I'll take that as a compliment??" You laughed more, smiling as even now he could cheer you up with little effort. It's part of his charm really.

"They said you're very welcome." Simon smiled, and you smiled back.

"You always know how to cheer me up Simon."

Simon grabbed his shirt again. "Hey, as soon as you came around and became our problem, that became one of my job titles." He ruffled your hair.

Oh, your brother. What a silly man on the inside.

[jesterthestar]

☆ | HELLOO !! Im so so sorry for being so inactive ! Education has me in a lock hold , but im finally on holidays so I'LL FINALLY BE POSTING MORE .. it's only a week though. 😭😭 THANK YOU SM FOR BEING ACTIVE WHILE I WAS OFF.

♱   | Headcanon name: Reader is a new upper moon and they look like a child despite being 100+ years old or more and they are super quiet and barely talk with others. :33

♡ | warnings: none ( maybe Douma being a menace.) , GN reader ( pronouns: you/yourself/they/them )

Kokushibo

Didn't care at first , come on it's not out of the ordinary for him. He does not care about most of the upper moons and sees them as meer profits for Muzan and of course himself.

But when he found out how you looked ... this man was confused.

Yea ! Kokushibo is super intellegent and saw some wild shit .. but you ? You seemed like an anamoly to him. It was mostly because of your build , the way you looked like a child just made him a bit confused. He knew demons could take any form but come on , they could not make it to an upper moon , stop :((.

He just had some kind of rebuild of his whole emotions and he couldn't help but over observe you , your behaviour and you overly "anxious" quietness. He found it .. refreshing , considering most of the upper moons being overly fixated on strength and it was even more uncanny for him because you were so .. SO MATURE.

Would use you to guilt trip the other upper moons when they started bickering ( honestly deserved.)

Wouldn't talk with you unless you approached him first , but wouldn't turn down your offer.

Douma

Oh god ... where do i even start ... HE ADORES YOU.

You're just so cute with your tiny little arms , tiny little legs and squishy little cheeks , he would be all over you. ( would leave alone Akaza for a bit ) and you couldn't really say anythinf because you were too shy to even talk back to anyone ... Douma just ate it up.

He would always make everyone only talk about appropriate topics because your little child ears are listening and they're perked up and they are OUTT HEREEE , so don't ruin this "innocent" child. ( you're not :33 )

Is he doing this just to make you upset and angry ? Very possibly , but your self control is insane so it would take a few centuries to make you lash out. He knows it , but HE'S NOT GIVING UP.

"..Look at you !! Who's a cute little thing ? You are, yes you are !!.."

Akaza

Gave no shits abut you once you first joined. He rarely interacts with the other upper moon so why the hell would he want to interact with YOU of all people ?

Wanted to fight you nontheless ... though was a bit hesitant , his morals are higher than that.

I don't have much ideas for him , i feel like it would depend on your rank and the fight that you put up.

If you were a higher rank and put up a good fight for him then him he would already respect ypu but if you were lower than him ... then gah damn you will now be his favorite , it would be kind of humiliating for him , but he wouldn't help but feel immense respect for you. ( cause you're all small and tiny but still beat him )

And if you failed ... he just didn't care .. ok yea , just .. you're there , he knows , not he does not care about you being quiet , no he does not. Rarely talks with you.

♱   ᜔  ׅ ꯭ tysm for reading , ily all sm ! ^_^

[divinesolas]

Hi! Can I request an Osferth smut where she sees the two ladies fighting over him and gets jealous and runs away and Osferth has to run after her to fix it?

a/n: i love love love this idea so much!! I hope you like it!! Not my best work, Sorry for the delay!

Warnings: Not proofread, mutual pining, public sex ? I mean they are in the woods but no ones around, nsfw.

You’ve been traveling with uhtred and his gang for a couple of years now being one of his closest allies along with finan, sihtric and osferth. Right now you were out exploring the woods alone looking for herbs. Osferth had gotten a nasty cut on his leg and you wanted to do nothing more but to help him. It was a secret to no one you were in love with osferth, well maybe other than him. 

“Just tell him how you feel.” You remember sihtric asking you in an alehouse, finan and osferth went off to go find some woman while you were sitting in an alehouse moping with sithric. “I cant.” He groans and chugs his drink. “You can, you just won't.”  Finally you had found what you wanted and collected a good amount of it before walking back towards the town. As you enter you hear a large amount of commotion and rush over. 

It's two girls who are fighting. They look oddly familiar. They seem to be yelling out something you can't really hear. You watch in amazement as Finan and Uhtred break up the fight. “What's happening here?” You notice osferth standing awkwardly off to the side. They begin to both yell at finan saying something about osferth. Oh. You remember now, in the alehouse on two different occasions you remember one of the girls giggling and smiling at osferth who would walk over to them and you didn't see them again for a while. They were both clearly taken with him and were fighting over him. Your eyes water as you look at the two girls, you look like neither of them, he would never be attracted to you.

Osferth notices you and his eyes widen. You're suddenly humiliated and the basket you were carrying drops out of your hands as you book it. You can hear him calling after you but you dont care as you continue to run. You continue to run through the woods until you end up at the river and sit at the seat to catch your breath, praying he never finds you.

“y/n.” but of course he does. He’s standing behind you, out of breath. You turn back to him and cross your legs. He says your name again softer but with no response he sighs. You hope he leaves but instead he moves to take a seat next to you. “I'm sorry-” “For what?” you look at him, the tears already pooling back in your eyes. “I… I don't know…” You huff and turn away from him, burying your face in your lap. “I'm sorry for upsetting you.” “Do you think I'm pretty?” You don't look at him as you speak. You hear him take a light gasp as he considers his next words. “I think you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world.” Despite his beautiful words and how they make your chest hurt you whip your head up at him angrily. “Then why is it never me?” you hiss. He looks confused but you don't give him time to ask. “Why is it never I who gets invited back with you? Why do you never give me that kind of attention if you think I'm so pretty? Will you never love me the way I love you?” The tears are not running quickly down your face as you vigorously rub your hands along your cheeks to clear them. 

After a beat the hands that are on your face are pulled away and he grabs your cheeks to stare at you directly in the eyes. “I love you.” Your eyes widen, “No-” “i love you more than words can describe i love you more than flowers love the rain and nightingales love to sing. I need you the way the moon needs the sun, you are my soul, my life. You are my everything. I'm sorry ive made you feel this way, I never wanted this to happen. I didn't want to have you like any of those other girls because they do not matter to me like you matter to me.”

His eyes are also teary as he speaks, “I love you. I wish for you to be by my side, be my lady until the day I die.” You're breathless, you can barely believe your ears, you believe it to be a dream but the pounding of your heart in your ears reminds you it's real.

You lean towards him and he leans towards you, “I love you.” “I love you more.” You kiss. 

It starts off soft before turning passionate and quick as you slowly lean back and fall to the grassy floor under you, you admire osferth as he holds himself up above you. “Here?” Here.” “Are you sure you want to-” “yes.” “Maybe we should wait-” “I have done enough waiting, I want you now.” 

He kisses you again as he finally gives in to your advances, he rearranges his clothes and pulls his cock free and lifts up your dress so he has access to you. You moan loudly as he pushes himself in as he curses.

He gives you a second before he begins to move, all you can do is moan as he whispers sweet nothings in your ear. You feel yourself close, an you tighten around him causing him to moan, “Fuck are you close?” You nod feverishly, “please, fuck, please wait for me lets cum together.” You whine but listen and try you best not to. He gets close relatively quickly especially when all he can hear are your moans and whines begging him to come. 

“Cum please.” He begs you. So you do and so does he. You're both left panting as he falls on top of you, not pulling out,  causing you to giggle.

“I love you so much.” You say as you run a hand through his hair. “I love you more.”

[jediken0bi]

Boundaries

Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary:

When JJ makes an offhand comment about Spencer not being particularly fond of physical touch to his girlfriend it causes a bit of a misunderstanding.

word count: 3180

-

Ever since you and Spencer decided to ditch your colleagues for the third time in a row to watch Doctor Who at his place instead, which resulted in him awkwardly admitted to liking you at the end of the night, you two have been practically inseparable. You knew that Spencer was shy when it comes to physical affection from the start but you also knew that a huge part of it was the lack of said affection throughout his life.

Often times he looks surprised when you hug him or kiss him with no particular reason in mind other than that you wanted to.

It's like he's used to only experiencing soft touches in the context of challenging and heartbreaking events happening to him.

You were set on changing that. You're going to make up for all the people who have failed to treat him with the love he deserves.

So far he hasn't stopped you from trying either. You cuddle him every chance you get, you kiss him whenever the opportunity presents itself and the environment allows it, you hold his hand while you're on the jet. You make sure Spencer is on board for all of this though.

You always ask him if he's okay with it before. The last thing you want is for Spencer to feel uncomfortable with you.

He's never denied you though and your question is always received with a big smile on his face.

Despite being very responsive to your touches Spencer doesn't allow himself to outright ask for them. Your best guess is that it comes from a long line of people denying him these simple pleasures. The thought breaks your heart.

You two were in the elevator on your way to meet the rest of the team in the bullpen when it all sort of went south.

You were holding hands with Spencer and he subconsciously squeezes your hand a little once the doors open. You give him a smile and lean up to press a small kiss to his cheek.

He immediately turns bright red and you giggle. He's given up on asking you for their reasons. He's starting to accept that you like kissing him and that's reason enough.

He grins at you and you let go of your grip on his hand. You both walk to your respective desks and stuff your go bags under them.

Before you can make your way back to Spencer you spot JJ across the room seemingly headed straight to your desk.

You know JJ is Spencers best friend and while you admittedly had a hard time accepting that your boyfriends best friend was a woman he used to have a crush on, you decided that you had absolutely no reason not to trust Spencer. He was happy with you and JJ was married with kids after all. Hell, Spence is their godfather. There's no need to worry about either of them having feelings for the other. You're sure of it"

Plus, you really like JJ. She was the hardest to win over simply because she and Spencer were so close but she never treated you with hostility. She was kind and respectful but kept you at distance until she was sure you were right for Spencer. You would've been upset if you weren't so happy someone was looking out for him after all.

"Good morning JJ" you greet her happily.

It really had been a good morning.

You and Spencer woke up earlier than usual to eat breakfast together. He made you pancakes!

Or, at least he tried. They were a bit burned but you told him that they were the best pancakes you have ever had. And you meant it.

He, of course, turned bright red and refused to take the compliment so you shut him up with a kiss.

A kiss that said 'Thank you for making me breakfast. I love you and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life eating burned pancakes with you'.

"Hey Y/N i was wondering if you had a minute to talk. About Spence." JJ approached you with a certain worry in her eyes that immediately unsettled you.

"What do you mean? Did something happen? I just saw him a minute ago and he seemed fine" You say nervously. Was there something you overlooked?

You make a mental note to go through the events of this morning again.

"No, he's fine! It's not that. I just wanted to talk to you about how it's going with Spencer. You know, being a couple and all"

JJ seemed almost nervous.

You weren't sure what to think about that.

She never dug around in your business before and you don't think she's got any malicious intentions but it does throw you off a little bit.

"Did you have something specific in mind? We're doing great, JJ. I know you worry about him but i think he's happy with me"

You say proudly because you know he is.

He tells you every night when you two settle down to lie in each others arms to read for a bit.

That's code for Spencer reading to you while laying his head on your stomach and you playing with his hair.

You smile at the memory.

"Uh yeah i guess i do. I just don't want you to think of this as something personal but i think as his best friend i owe it to Spencer to talk to you about it"

She looks down at her feet seemingly uncomfortable but willing to go through with this.

You were shocked to say the least. What could she possibly have in mind that would potentially hurt your feelings? Your mind goes to the worst possible scenarios and it's giving you a good bit of anxiety.

JJ seems to spot the look on your face and grabs your hands.

"No, no, no it's nothing bad per se! Just something you should be aware of to avoid misunderstandings"

You let out a small breath and calm down a bit. You're still confused though. If it's so urgent, why wouldn't Spencer tell you himself?

You were curious though.

"Okay so what is this about then?"

JJ looks at you with a bit of pity in her eyes and you immediately decide you hate that look.

"It's just that, you know, Spence is a bit of a germaphobe and he just doesn't do very well with people invading his personal space. Not that you're invading his space! Gosh no, you're his girlfriend after all. It's just that it seems like he might be a bit overwhelmed. I know it's non of my business, but i think he's trying to be okay with the PDA because it's something you want. I'm all for expanding your comfort zones but i'm afraid Spence is not going to tell you himself"

She finishes her nervous rant and you felt your heart sinking.

Is that why he never asks for your touch? You thought it was because he was shy but maybe it's because it makes him uncomfortable.

Was he trying to protect your feelings by not denying you touch whenever you asked?

Or worse, did he think you would leave him if he put up some boundaries?

Your eyes are filled with unshed tears and you look down at your feet out of embarrassment. You don't want to see the look on JJ's face right now. You're humiliated and honestly just upset Spencer wasn't telling you all this himself.

"Oh. Well, i'm sorry. I didn't know. I thought we were okay but i'll make an effort to turn it down. Thanks JJ"

It's clear she wanted to say something in return but you already turned away from her to flee the scene. It was overwhelming and you didn't want her to see you cry over this.

You went to the only place you knew you could feel freely without having to downplay the whole thing.

Penelopes Office.

You knock twice at her door.

"Hey Pen, can i come in? Are you busy?"

She immediately opens the door and with it, her arms.

"Never too busy for you honey bun!"

You give her a sad smile and hug her tightly.

You sniffle a little and she closes the door behind you two.

"What's wrong Y/N? Did Spencer do anything? I'll kill him for you. I have about twenty seven different ways that would make it look like an accident! Perks of working for the FBI"

This actually makes you laugh and you immediately know you've made the right call coming to Garcia.

"It's more about what he didn't do. Pen, am i a bad girlfriend?"

She grabs your shoulders and pushes you out of her embrace to look at you.

"What? How could you possibly think that? Boy Wonder has never been happier and i've known the kid for a solid couple of years!"

You look down again with an empty smile

"Then why would he send JJ to tell me all about how uncomfortable i make him?"

Okay so maybe you were being a bit dramatic but it feels like he broke your trust by talking to JJ about it before talking to you. At least, you assume he did. Why else would she bring this up?

"He did what? Are you sure?"

You raise your arms in a frustrated manner.

"I don't know Penny all i know is that JJ had some thoughts on how to be in a relationship with Spence!"

Garcia looked shocked and it makes you laugh.

"Yeah, that was my initial reaction too"

She shakes herself out of it.

"Did you talk to Spencer about what he thinks?"

You look at her with sheepish eyes.

"I don't want to yet. I'm upset with him and honestly a little embarrassed. I just wish he would've told me certain things himself. I think i'm going to take a sick day, okay? Can you let Hotch know i'm out for today?"

She looks at you with understanding eyes and gives you a nod.

"Of course, Bunny. Take care. And don't forget that Spencer loves you!"

You smile and give her a nod in return.

"Yeah, i know"

And with that you're out the door and on your way to grab your bag from your desk.

Of course you end up running into the one person you don't want to talk to right now.

Spencer looks at you with a small smile and you give him one back. Admittedly, yours looks a bit forced but you don't have the energy to pretend right now.

"What are you doing?" He asks innocently. He must be unaware of your conversation with JJ.

"I- Uh i'm taking a sick day. I'm not feeling so well"

You try to avoid eye contact but you fail to ignore Spencers worried expression in your peripheral vision.

"Are you okay? Was it the breakfast? I told you you shouldn't have eaten the pancakes!"

He sounds so distressed you can't help but laugh.

You were still mad at him but he was just too cute for his own good.

Out of habit you raise your hand to plant it on the nape of his neck where you usually toy with his hair before kissing him.

Just as you were about to put your hand on him you shake yourself out of it and retreat it.

He looks at you with confused eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He asks you with sad eyes. He's giving you completely mixed signals and it's driving you insane. Did he suddenly want you to touch him?

"Nothing. I just- I'm really tired"

You look down at your bag and pick it up to make your way out of there.

Spencer grabs your hand and it causes you to stop in your tracks. You breath in and out and turn around to look at him once again.

"Are- I mean are you leaving now?"

He looks at you with an embarrassed glint in his eyes. But there's something more to it. He looks hopeful. Like he's expecting something.

Maybe he's waiting for you to kiss him goodbye like you always do says a small voice on the back of your head.

No, you shake your head, JJ was perfectly clear about these things.

"Yeah, i am. See you later okay?"

You say with a small smile. You weren't mad at him for not being comfortable with PDA. That's not it at all. You just wanted him to be the one telling you.

You squeeze his hand and he exhales a little.

"Yes! Yeah, um, we're still on for tonight right? Your place?"

He seems so nervous and it reminds you a lot of the first few dates you two had. He was so afraid of messing up, of being laughed at or rejected.

"Of course we are. I'll order us some Chinese"

You give him a real smile and he starts lighting up as well.

"Yeah i'd like that. See you, uh, tonight then"

He's still holding your hand and you squeeze it one more time before letting go.

As you step into the elevator you know that you two have a lot to talk about.

--timeskip approx. 8h--

You've spend all day trying to figure out how to talk to Spencer about what happened at work today. You didn't want to fight with him and you hope he's not going to try and shut you out.

All your worries pretty much wash away when you find Spencer at your door holding a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

When he finally reveals himself behind them you can't help but drag him inside and press a kiss to his lips. You smile into the kiss and it's not long before Spencer does the same. It's harder than it sounds like but you two aren't willing to separate yet so you keep kissing for a little longer before leaning back to accept the arrangement.

"Thank you, Spence. They're beautiful"

You push the curls out of his face and cup his cheek in your hand.

He leans into it and closes his eyes for a second

"Almost as beautiful as you"

It's barely a whisper but you heard him.

Putting the flowers down on the counter you don't waste a single second hugging him tight to your chest.

He hums in contentment and you melt into him.

You've missed him so much today. You weren't used to being at distance with him. Emotionally or physically.

Speaking of.

"Does that mean we're okay again?"

Spencer asks pressing small kisses to your neck.

You shutter slightly before leaning back to look at him.

"What do you mean? Were we not okay before?"

You brush the curls that have fallen back into his eyes away again and he looks at you with wide loving eyes.

"I don't know i thought we were but then you didn't- um i don't know you just left and i thought maybe i had done something to upset you?"

He looks nervous. Almost like he's afraid he's going to say something wrong. You give him a small sad smile and decide that now is as good of a time as ever.

"I didn't kiss you because i know you're not comfortable with that"

You weren't mad anymore. You had enough time to process what happened and you've come to the conclusion that Spencer must've had his reasons. You're willing to let him explain.

He on the other hand looks at you like you've grown a second head.

"What? No i- why would you think that?"

You huff out a breath and look at him for a moment with raised eyebrows. You really thought he was going to tell you now. Is he waiting for you to say it?

Spencer looked genuinely confused and upset you would even suggest such a thing. It makes you wonder if he talked to JJ at all.

"Look, JJ came to talk to me today and cleared some things up and honestly i'm not upset about what she said. Not really. I'm upset i had to find out from someone who wasn't you. You could've told me. You should have told me actually"

This didn't do anything to wipe off Spencers confused expression. If anything, his frown just got deeper.

"Y/N i seriously don't know what you're talking about. I haven't talked to JJ this week"

Now it's your turn to frown. Did he not know? Was it really just JJ making assumptions that weren't true?

"But she said- No it doesn't matter what she said. What matters is that i want you to tell me, right now, if my affections make you uncomfortable in any shape of form. It's okay if they do Spence! I know i'm a lot but it's important we're both okay with what's happening between us"

He stares at you with a mix of adoration and confusion.

"Of course i'm not uncomfortable with you! I would tell you if i was. It's not even like you're doing any of it without checking with me first! Why would i lie to you?"

You let out a frustrated huff.

"Because you don't wanna hurt my feelings! But it's okay. We're equals and we can set up boundaries if you want. All that matters to me is that you won't shut me out"

Spencer smiles at you and it confuses you. Why the sudden mood change? Not that you're complaining. His smile always did manage to make you feel better. This time is no exception.

He grabs your hands and pulls you closer again.

This is new. Not the hand holding, but the fact that Spencer is the one initiating it.

"I promise you i have never been more comfortable with a person. I don't know what JJ told you and i'm definitely going to have a talk with her about boundaries but as far as we go, i'm more than happy with where and what we are"

You give him a small laugh and he joins in.

You wrap your arms around his middle and bury your head in his chest.

"So you're okay with me kissing you or touching you in general? In front of the team"

He presses a small kiss to the top of your head.

"More than okay" He whispers

You smile and lift your head to give him a proper kiss. He grabs the side of your head and pulls you even closer.

Lips just millimeters apart you look him in the eyes and find nothing but love in them.

"Also, next time you leave work without kissing me goodbye i'll make a scene. No hesitation"

You laugh loudly and push him away. He playfully stumbles back a couple of steps and laughs with you. He shrugs his shoulders

"Try me"

You lean your head on his shoulder.

You don't even know what you were worried about anymore. Spencer has a way to make all the problems seem to minuscule. You can confidently say you've never been happier.

[silksandcravats]

Well well well... you're just in time Zimmermansbrat... Morby is sending out asks tonight...

You are a new follower and dont know me perhaps very well, but sometimes I like to send out litte challenges and stuff to you writers out there, and I have one you may like to sink your teeth into...

Use the following to write a story...

https://youtu.be/Tk46D1eFXZo "Dont Wanna Go The Other Way" by Cody Chesnut.

Yep I know, this looks totally nuts right?

It's a technique my mums writing group use to create new stories, or perhaps brain storm around problems in their work.

There are rules... you can add whatever you like, but you have to use the song and at least three pictures.

I'm gonna do one myself, so I can see if it works as a new idea to get out of my writers block.

Please dont feel obliged to answer, it's totally up to you if you'd like to participate... but it would be awesome if you did!

Have Fun and Thanks for the follow

Love

Morby

❤

Morby! So nice to hear from you again, thank you for this wonderful ask! This collage just seems so Sackler to me so I had to, lol. I feel like the final product ended up being a bit jumpy, I had a bit of trouble smoothly stringing along the different aspects into one imagine plotline, but I had so much fun with this challenge! I hope I did it justice!

masterlist

summary: y/n spends the day with her weirdo neighbour and nobody could have predicted how things pan out.

warnings: swearing, a poor understanding of New York geography

You stood by your front door, jaw clenched, keys gripped tightly in hand, ear pressed against the wood as you listened as closely as you could for the telltale sign of your weirdo neighbour across the hall retreating into his room. 

“Oh shit, fuck are you going speedy?” 

“Oh shit, fuck are you going speedy?” 

“Oh shit, fuck are you going speedy?” 

Your eyes squeezed shut and you cursed silently. You didn’t have to look up to know who was speaking, the booming, goofy, tone. You took a deep breath to compose yourself before pulling backwards, at least as much as you could with his vice rip on your arms still present.

“Hey Adam, ugh, I was just going to run some errands I-”

“I was wondering what the fuck everyone’s been up to? It’s been quiet as shit down this whole hallway, felt like I was in a ghost town or some shit.” He interrupted you.

“That’s great um.” You tugged your arms slightly and he got the message, he released your arms finally with a quick ‘sorry’. “Anyways, um I was just headed out, I’ve got some shopping to do so.”

“Yeah so do I, that’s just where I was headed we can be like shopping buddies or whatever.” He offered, showing off a toothy grin, big eyes meeting yours. He was attractive, with his big strong nose and his long floppy black hair, you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t. You’d found yourself rather drawn to him in the beginning, but that had only lasted until the first few times he had opened his mouth. He turned out to be rather strange and awkward and it just wasn’t something you could get past, and so you had begun avoiding the pretty weirdo at all costs. 

You were ready to turn him down and be on your merry way but you were tired of avoiding him and you didn’t know how much fight you had left in you. Not to mention it was well into winter now, which meant the sun would only be up for another hour or so, and you never fancied walking through your part of New York alone after dark. And so you found yourself agreeing, how long could a few groceries take after all?

“Great but you’ve gotta come along to some to do some of my errands too.” He said, turning and walking ahead, making it halfway down the hallway in just a few long strides.

“What like drycleaning?” you asked, trotting along to catch up with him. 

“No, not really.” He answered vaguely, hurrying down the steps two at a time. 

You started with your shopping, which he let you get through without too much trouble. In fact, the whole ordeal had been almost pleasant, you were trying to pick out an onion when you looked over to see him holding two different zucchinis in his hand.

“Hey y/n. Do you think I’m more like this one or this one?” He asked rather loudly through the store, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I think,” you paused, settling on one of the freshest looking onions near the top of the stack, “that it’s a wonder you’re still allowed out in public.” 

“Oh shit,” his expression shifted, his grin deepened and he looked somewhat surprised by you, “You’re a little feisty after all.” he sounded impressed, “Well if you can guess which one is right, I’ll buy all your groceries.” 

“Ok fine.” You crossed your arms, pretending to seriously contemplate the vegetables, you decided to be generous, opting for the slightly larger one. “Left.”

“Actually the answer was neither, it’s bigger than both of these.” He winked, tossing the vegetables down and circling around to your side of the display.

“Oh, I’m sure that’s true.” You jabbed sarcastically.

“I can show you later if you’d like.” he teased, walking into your space.

“Shut up let’s go.” you tried to be serious but a little giggle slipped out anyway as you playfully pushed him forward towards the checkout. 

-

Adam’s errands turned out to be a somewhat chaotic stroll through a small corner park. You must have spent much longer in that little park then either of you had been expecting, you sat on a little bench for a while just talking. You told him about the work you had been up, and he turned out to be an actor, telling you about an audition he had recently been to, and how he thought he did really well but honestly he didn’t really like the movie’s concept so if he didn’t make the role then it was no big deal.

Never being one for small talk, you were sure that your little day out with Adam would slowly trudge by, loaded with plenty of awkward silences, but it turned out being with Adam was easy. He had no trouble keeping the conversation going, and he always managed to bring up things you actually wanted to talk about. And he was so funny, you’d be willing to listen to his jokes all day except that at one point he made you laugh so hard your stomach began to hurt and you couldn’t get a full gulp of air down your lungs for almost a minute straight.

It wasn’t until the sky began to turn a pinky-orange that you realised what time it was and suggested to head back. You had wound up rather far from your apartment complex so you both made the decision to take the subway home. It was rush hour by now so you had to push and shove a bit to get down the stairs and over to the platform you needed, and it was an even tighter squeeze when you got onto your actual train. You ended up shoved tightly against him for the first few stops, it was silly, but you tried not to let yourself dwell on the giddy feeling you got being so close to him.

As you made your way out of midtown, the car cleared out some, and Adam appeared to be growing restless, surveying his surroundings to find something to occupy himself before settling on the fire extinguisher by the door. He played with the features of it for a moment before pulling it off the wall to examine it closer.

“Adam, put it back.” you quickly scolded when you caught wind of what he was doing.

“Relax I’m just looking at it.” 

“You’re not supposed to touch it!” You insisted.

“If I wasn’t supposed to be touching it then they should have attached it to the wall better.” He continued playing with the extinguisher, pulling the tiny safety bar out, dropping it carelessly, letting it rattle against the floor.

“They can’t do that, what if someone needs it, Adam, please put it down,” you begged, trying to grab it from him, but he pulled it away quickly.

“Oh come on, this thing’s probably been in here like a kajillion years, shit wouldn’t even work anymore.” He continued, twisting it in his hands.

“Yes, it does! Now leave it alone, I’m serious.” You begin to panic at the thought of him doing something dumb.

“Wanna bet?” You could see the mischief practically glittering in his eyes as he suddenly mounted the extinguisher. You felt the blood drain from your face.

“Adam I swear to God if you-” 

But you were too late, suddenly a thick cloud of fire retardant burst through the canister filling the car with smoke and panic, the force sending Adam a few feet forward before his weight pulled him back to the ground and he toppled over in a fit of laughter.

“Adam!” You screeched humiliated as the car erupted in coughing fits and a few swears. You glared straight at the floor as you marched over to him, avoiding the heated glares and shouting, as you pulled him up quickly.

“Come on this is our stop.” You announced sharply, pulling him towards the doors as the train came to a stop.

“No, it’s not.” He looked at you confused, still halfway smiling, proud of his own stunt.

“Yes. it. is.” You say through gritted teeth, pulling him onto the platform. 

Of course, it wasn’t really your stop, and you could’ve saved yourself quite a few blocks of travelling time by staying on, but the thought of carrying on with those passengers, after what Adam had done, for even a second longer was too much to bear. It wasn’t until you were nearly at your building that Adam seemed to pick up on just how upset the whole thing had made you. 

“Hey look I didn’t know it’d be such a big deal to you.” He offers, kicking a small rock along the pavement as he trudged on.

“That was so embarrassing, you can’t do shit like that Adam.” You grumble, not willing to forgive him.

“It’s New York, people do fucking weird shit here every day,”

“This is the worst apology I’ve ever heard.” You stopped on the first step of the building, turning to look at him.

“I’m sorry? Ok? I won’t do shit like that ever again when we’re out together? Happy?” He said, moving onto your step next to you.

“When are we going out together again?” You asked, cocking your head slightly. 

“Have you ever been on the roof?” He asked back, ignoring your question entirely, backing up the steps.

“No? Wait I don’t think we’re allowed on the roof!” You followed him up into the building.

“Drop your shit off and meet me in the hallway, I’ll make things up to you I promise.” He winked.

-

“Do you keep your bike up here?” You tried and failed to hide a smile at the sight in front of you. Adam was in front of you twisting and turning his handlebar, trying to show you how he could lean back and balance on the back wheel.

“Sometimes I do, no assholes have tried to steal it yet so,” his speech comes out almost in grunts, as he focused intently on performing his trick for you.

“You wanna try it?” He asks, dismounting and moving some of his hair out of his face.

“That’s ok, I’m not a stunt master like you,” you excused, “besides, I’m not sure my feet would even reach the pedals, that thing’s huge.”

“Hey look at this!” He dropped the bike, moving to the ledge of the roof, “you can see for fucking miles up here.” You followed him over, pulling the hoodie you had grabbed from your place tighter against you as a cool gust of wind flew by. It was pretty much dark now, and you could see the lights of your city clearly from here. It wasn’t a particularly tall building you lived in, there was bigger on either side and across the way, but you could see clearly down both sides of the street. New York felt bigger with all the lights on if that was even possible. There was something about the bright city lights that set off curiosity in you. People really lived in every single one of those windows, they had a whole life, and family and friends and jobs and dreams and you’ll never know most of them.

“It’s amazing isn’t it.” you sighed, staring at as much of the world as you could possibly see from your little perch.

“Yeah, it is.” He said, watching you watch your city.

-

You really had meant to go back to your place after that, but Adam had coaxed you into coming into his apartment instead, insisting that it was only fair for you to see his place after the day you had together.

“Do you want like juice or anything?” He offered, trying to be hospitable as he closed the door behind you. 

“No thank you.” you smiled, taking in the place. It was messy for sure, but you’d seen worse, there was a lot of open space in the middle of the room, there was a couch at the far end of the room, but it was covered with clothes and things at the moment.

“You like music?” He asked, messing with something that must be sitting on a small table by his front door, he moved slightly and you could see the device he was hiding.

“You have an actual record player? That’s crazy, I didn’t know people still had those.” Your feet were ready to give out after the day you’d had, so you decided to sit down on the floor, watching him shuffle through records before settling on one and moving to put it in place on the player.

“You know what they say, no music, no life.” He moved the needle, letting it drop near the edge of the vinyl. An R&B artist you vaguely recognised began playing through the apartment. 

“You listen to this stuff?” You asked, watching him sit next to you on the floor, moving directly to a lying position on the floor.

“Come on, it sounds better down here.” he insisted, patting the empty wooden panels next to him. You obliged, leaning back against the hardwood, shuffling slightly to get more comfortable. 

“I really am sorry,” he added after a while, another apology filling pushing into the brief silence of the room as you both waited for the next track on the record to begin. You kept your eyes trained on the ceiling, but you could feel his gaze move to you. “Guess I’m just a shit flirt.” Your eyes grew as you took in the weight of his words as if on cue the opening lines of the next song began softly through the apartment. You held off on laughing at him for the song choice, focusing on holding onto the words which had just come out of his mouth.

“You’ve been flirting with me all day?” You ask, turning on your side, propping yourself up on your elbow, staring at him.

“Oh fuuuck yeah,” he shrugged, turning to look at the ceiling again. “I flirt with you all the time kid,” he added casually, tapping his foot against the wood as the chorus began to pick up. 

“W-what?” you asked, dumbfounded. “You were flirting… with me?”

“Of course I was, you’re funny and I think you’re pretty smart.” he listed off easily, still staring at the ceiling, “ also you’re fucking so hot, I fucking just wanna look at your face all day.”

“Why didn’t you ask me out of something?” You hummed, looking down at the floor.

“I guess I thought that was kinda what today was.” He rolled over, suddenly his face was only an inch or so from yours.

“It can’t be a date if I don’t know it is, it only counts if we both agree that-”

“Can I kiss you?” he cut you off, eyes darting between your eyes and your lips. 

“O-okay.” your face suddenly felt hot, but you had little time to dwell on it before he leaned in, kissing you eagerly, nose prodding against yours, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face. He nipped and nibbled at your bottom lip for a moment before wiggling his tongue into your mouth, kissing you more eagerly. His other hand came up to your side, and in one swift motion, he tugged you on top of him. 

You got lost in kissing him for the tiniest moment before you mentally re-entered the room, ears perking up at the sound of the song entering its second chorus. 

“Can we redo all of this in about 2 minutes?” You giggled, pulling yourself off his mouth slightly to stare down at him.

“What? Why?” his face scrunched up in confusion and then he gripped your face, pulling you down again.

“Becaaaauuussse,” you groan, pulling back again. “Don’t wanna go the other way by Cody Chesnutt cannot be our song.”

“Too late now kid,” He hummed pulling all of your weight down to him, tucking you into his chest. “Too late now.”

[catherineflowers29]

Hi! I'm the anon from before! Oh, thank God. I was worried I upset you because JB shippers get so defensive when someone is critical of their ship or Jaime (btw I'm a Brienne stan before a JB shipper.)

I think your story is so great and feminist... the fact that Brienne was allowed to be angry at Jaime and make the choice to fuck Addam and still be the doting mother and a warrior who inspires women (also thank you for no boring Sansa/Brienne friendship). I loved how she said "fuck that" to any of Jaime's weakass explanations and whenever that bitch was like, "are we good? have you forgiven me? can we fuck?" and she just went like "wtf no you're the worst." like YES. It fucking bothered me the way those S8 apologists defended Jaime's "addiction" and liked the offensive disgusting white book scene. FFS LET WOMEN BE ANGRY. LET WOMEN HAVE A STORYLINE THAT ISN'T TIED TO SOME GARBAGE MAN. LET WOMEN SLEEP WITH MEN INSTEAD OF THEIR ASSIGNED LOVE INTERESTS AND LET THEM ENJOY IT TOO. LET WOMEN BE BITTER AND UNFORGIVING AND COMPASSIONATE AND MOTHERLY AND BRAVE AND AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME. ALL THESE THINGS CAN EXIST IN ONE WOMAN. IT'S ALLOWED. AND BRIENNE IS NO BETTER OR WORSE IF SHE CHOOSES TO BE UNFORGIVING. I HATE DUDEBROS.

I don't think you should be unhappy with your story! Your story has amazing dialogue and internal thoughts, well-rounded characters, and Brienne of Tarth being awesome. If anything, you were too nice to Jaime by having him be happy and giving him a purpose. You should subvert my expectations, lovely author! Don't have Brienne forgive Jaime and get into a relationship with him! Make her kick him to the curb! Break his heart! Piss on his corpse! Probably JB shippers will be mad at you but I've got your back. The REAL Brienne fans know that Jaime did Brienne so dirty, and no bs addiction or duty can justify that!

Ok that's enough... and WTF why would people think your fic is controversial. IMO we should bully the writers who had Brienne easily forgive Jaime and take him back just like that. Fuck them all. I only respect YOU. You got me into shipping Addam/Bri and also validated my anger. Also I was busy, didn't know you updated your fic. Gonna read it now. Not gonna lie, I'll be a little upset if she chooses Jaime because I thought the glass throwing scene was written to show the tragic end of their relationship and how there's no coming back, but I did want to know your thoughts.

Bless you, kind reader. 

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about why my fic is considered controversial. The subject matter in it really isn’t that “dark” in the traditional fic sense. There’s no rape or major character death, it’s not torture porn or anything. And yet, there was rage about it on Reddit, it was banned from being discussed on Discord, and a BNF decided (very hurtfully, I might add) to call me out on Twitter because she had formed a judgement based solely on my tags. I have also been blocked by numerous people in the fandom that I have never so much as had an interaction with. I’ve also had a LOT of shitty comments and anons here and there from people who seem really angry that I had the temerity to write this fic.

That genuinely surprised me. I knew it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea - what fic is? But there have been times when I have felt like a total pariah and not wanted to interact with other members of the fandom in case they feel the same way. Whatever way you slice it, that’s shitty behaviour.

Largely, when we ship something, particularly when it’s an OTP, we think of that relationship as an ideal. It’s escapism, it’s perfect in ways that our real relationships never can be. I think that’s why, for so many of us, 8.04 was really devastating. Jaime and Brienne are also a ship about acceptance and understanding, of a deep connection that transcends surface impressions - they both see each other for who they really are. That means a LOT to us, I think. I think we all long for that kind of relationship and exploring it in our fandom gives all of us so much happiness. We are in love with their love.

In their portrayal of the JB relationship, D&D ABSOLUTELY got that wrong. I absolutely do not dispute that. I think a LOT of people were angry with me because they confused what I was writing as being supportive of D&D’s take in some way, because I treated it as canon. Some writers were able to paper over the end of the show, dismiss it as bad writing and move on, or write fic where Jaime changes his mind, Brienne forgives him, and then they carry on with what we wanted.

I just couldn’t do that. God knows I tried. But if I had been in Brienne’s position, I absolutely would have been as pissed as fuck about what Jaime did. I don’t accept that he went back for Cersei as a brother, or that Brienne wasn’t crying for herself but only for him and his lost honour. Being dumped HURTS, particularly when you loved someone and thought you had a future, and then he walks out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. Brienne had SO MUCH backstory about being hurt and humiliated by men, having the first man who loved her, the man she gave her virginity to, treat her that way would fuck her up.

I’m not saying that anyone who disagrees with me is wrong, and I never have. I don’t have the definitive knowledge of these characters, none of us do. I only have my take, my experience, my style.

I just couldn’t write about their relationship as being idyllic and perfect any more. Is it a reflection of who I am as a person and as a writer? That’s certainly been the accusation several dozen times. Maybe. It’s certainly a reflection of how I feel women put up with too much shit from men and are expected to be kind and forgiving in return. I HATE that with a passion. 

Angry women are really controversial. They make people of all genders feel very uncomfortable. Sexually confident women do, too, and I think my story was the perfect storm of those two elements, really. People who want escapism from realistic relationships where people don’t live happily-ever-after really took exception to its very existence.

I don’t hold it against anyone for it not being their cup of tea, or if they disagree with my take. God knows there are kajillions of fics out there that aren’t my bag too. Things I’ve rolled my eyes at, things I’ve fundamentally disagreed with, things I’ve been horrified to read. But not once have I ever felt the need to be a public douchebag about it. I’ve never felt the need to make a writer stop writing.

So thank you so much for taking the time to send me this. It does make a really nice change to get an anon be so positive and affirming to me as a writer!

I really hope that you enjoy the end of the story. And that you will enjoy the reboot in a few weeks where we stick with Brienne’s POV and I turn the volume down on some of the elements that I don’t like about the story myself. Not the rage though, or the Addam banging. That’s staying! 

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Sixty-Six

Words: 5k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, mentions of drug abuse

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"Are you okay?" I ask Duff as we stand in the elevator of the Playboy office in Chicago where many of their photoshoots are held.

I’m actually thanking God we’ve managed to get this far without paparazzi catching on...then again they’re pre-occupied probably surrounding the guys’ hotel. 

Duff slammed back a startling amount of Vodka Tonics on the plane over here, to combat his rancid anxiety, that I had no idea even existed until we were seated on the plane and he nearly passed out after turning sheet white and breathing abnormally fast. 

"Yeah." He says in almost a slur. "I'm great." 

The plan is to get him a hotel room in the city for tonight and give him money for his flight back tomorrow, so all he brought is his bass, and the way his knuckles are turning white from holding on to the case it’s in, I can tell something’s up.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask him.

“I’m fine.”

“If you’re upset over the flight over here--”

“--What if these people are creeps?” He cuts me short, and I realize he’s not still upset over the flight.

“What do you mean?”

“Tansy’s had shitty luck with slimy photographers before, right? She’s told us stories of them, like, hitting on her and making her uncomfortable.”

“Yeah?”

“What if one of these motherfuckers is like that?” He looks at me.

“Well, that’s why I made sure someone accompanied me...someone, i.e. you.” I nudge him.

“Yeah and if something happens and I kick ass, I’m gonna be in trouble, Nikki’s gonna find out we’re here, then he’s gonna--”

“--Do you need more alcohol or something?” I try not to sound too harsh, genuinely worried about his mental state at the moment.

He’s just freaking out about every fucking thing there is to freakout about.

“I just don’t want you to be in trouble, is all.” He mumbles, sighing, and I lick my lips.

“I’m not going to be in trouble, okay? It will be fine. Just take a deep breath, and relax.”

The elevator doors open to reveal a set, an array of soft lighting, a faux house setting, a hair and makeup station, and wardrobe (what bits and pieces of it I’ll actually have on).

I spot Danielle, in all her gorgeous yet professional glory, and she ushers us over to where she’s sitting, talking to the makeup artist.

“Hi, it’s good to see you again.” She tells me, just seeing me yesterday.

“You too.” I reply smiling. I see her eyes catch on Duff. “This is my friend, Duff.” I explain to her. “He’s here for moral support.” I add.

“Ah, Danielle Wythers.” She tells him.

“Duff McKagan.” He replies.

“Nikki couldn’t make it?” She asks me next.

“The thing is...he kind of doesn’t know about it.” I explain to her and she raises her brows. “It’s a surprise.” I lie, not telling her the real reason I didn’t tell him is actually because he wouldn’t necessarily like it.

“Well, he’ll love it.” She assures me.

“Oh, he sure will.” I reply with the same smile.

“Okay, not that you don’t look gorgeous as is, but we’re gonna spruce you up some. Starting out, we’re gonna have you in a little clothing, and then strip down as we go along.” She lays out the plan and I nod. “This is Lucille, she’s doing your hair and makeup, Maarin is your photographer, and when we finish the shoot, I will be interviewing you.” She adds.

“Got it.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in a few minutes.” She waves before walking to the photographer.

It wasn’t as bad as thought it would have been. There really wasn’t much to it: just look like you’ve got perpetual “fuck me” eyes, follow the suggestions thrown at you by the photographer, and don’t clam up when you hear:

“Alright, let’s lose the clothes.” Maarin says.

My eyes nervously dart to Duff, who I can tell is trying to keep himself at ease like I am.

I look at Danielle next, who’s off to the sidelines, and she gives me an encouraging nod.

I try not to shake as I take the skimpy top they gave me, off, seeing Duff avert his gaze as they have me lay down on my stomach for a few shots of my body against a faux fur rug.

After I’ve gotten everything they want me to get in that position, Maarin is glancing around before I see his eyes lock on Duff’s bass case that’s resting at the tall blondes feet.

“Hey, you.” He says to Duff, catching his attention and Duff looks at him. “What’s in that thing?”

“...A bass?” Duff replies, slightly confused.

“What does Nikki Sixx play?!” Maarin slightly raises his voice to get an answer from anyone who knows.

“Bass?” I tell him.

“Perfect. I want pictures of you with the bass.” He tells me, motioning to Duff to get it out of the case.

“What?” Me and Duff ask at the same time.

If I get pictures with Duff’s bass, Nikki will recognize it, and kill the both of us if it makes it into the final cut.

“Bass. Naked girl. Now.” He repeats, and Duff looks at me.

“It’s fine.” I assure him, lying, but not wanting to waste anymore time because these people have busy schedules.

“Fine.” He mumbles, getting his bass out, carefully handing it to me, trying not to look at my naked body.

Not only was I mortified, nearly, when he told me to put the bass between my legs--covering my netherregion whilst holding onto the neck, being sure to position my arms where the only thing people could see were the round of my  boobs--but when he told me to, and I quote, verbatim, “make love to the bass” (as if my bare pussy and tits weren’t already all over it) me and Duff both looked like we were going to jump out of the window.

Within two more hours, the shoot and the interview is over--our final shot is of me sitting against a black backdrop, not a stitch of clothing on, covering my chest with my arm, with my legs crossed to keep myself as modest as possible for the cover.

“So now what?” Duff asks me as we head to the exit of the building when we get to the lobby.

“Go to the hotel.” I say.

“...The hotel the guys are at?”

“Yeah.”

“But then--”

“--We can just say I didn’t want to fly alone.” I shrug.

He thinks for a moment, then sighs.

“How about, I catch a cab back to the airport and go back home.”

“Duff, why?” I ask, a little disappointed, stopping before we get to the door.

“I don’t want to start shit between you and him and it doesn’t make any sense to say you didn’t want to fly alone so you brought me with you.”

“I don’t want you getting back on another plane so soon if you--”

“--I’ll be fine, Viv.” He assures me and I furrow my brows a little.

“Duff.” I start.

“Vivian, it’s fine.” He tells me. “I’m being serious. Don’t fucking argue with me, it is okay.” He sternly, but friendly, promises.

“Okay.” I finally relent, nodding a little.

“Just call me tonight, alright?”

“Yeah.” I agree.

He gives me his best smile before I’m hugging him.

“Thank you.” I tell him. “And I’m sorry I molested your bass.”

We both laugh, remembering the odd predicament, and I pull away looking up at him.

“It’s an honor.” He sarcastically lets out, and I wrinkle my nose. “I love you, be careful getting to the hotel.”

“I will.” I hand him the wad of cash he’s going to need to get a ticket back to L.A. and he takes it.

“Thanks.” He accepts it. “See you later.”

“See you later.”

We give each other one last look before we leave, except I go left, and he goes right.

My theory about the hotel being wrapped up in media is 1000% correct as I arrive, the driver saving Fred a trip as he gets out to help me through the ten feet to the door.

"It's great, we're great." I tell a reporter that asks me "how are things with Nikki?"

"What business did you have in Los Angeles?" Another one asks as I approach the front doors of the hotel where Fred is waiting. 

"My dad's birthday." I lie, feeling relief the second Fred's large hand pushes lightly against my back, ushering me inside. 

"Your dad's birthday?" He asks, knowing that was bullshit and I roll my eyes, taking my sunglasses off when we get in the elevator. 

"It's like an act of congress to take a shit without someone asking me how it affects my marriage." I state and he laughs. 

"How're you feeling?" He asks me and I furrow my brows. "Your blood pressure."

"Oh, I think it's okay. I have an informative  sheet of paper to dictate what I eat and drink and what other medicine I can and can't take while on my antidepressant. The second I can get onto a different medication, I'm taking it." 

"Well, be glad you're alive. You dying would've really inconvenienced Doc McGhee." He tells me and I chuckle. 

"Yeah, that evil genius knows how to work the public like a vibrator with never ending battery life." I scoff and he looks at me. "What?"

The doors of the elevator open on our floor apparently.

"I've missed you." He admits.

"I'm glad you have. Bet everyone else has been thanking God I haven't been here to cry on their good time." I say as we walk down the hall. 

"Actually, I was gonna talk to you about that." He says and I raise my brows as he glances around to make sure the coast is clear. "Sixx hasn't been doing too good." 

"Oh, no, how horrible. Wasn't like he publicly humiliated his wife--or at least let another woman do so by announcing their entire relationship on national TV for everyone and their mom to see, or anything." I sarcastically let out. 

"Viv, I'm being serious, here." He tells me, reaching in his pocket for my room key, unlocking my door. 

"I know you are. And I'm saying if anyone has the right to be in hell right now, it's me. I don't want to hear about how hard he's taking it. He wouldn't have to take anything if he would've given a damn sooner, rather than waiting for his mistress to air out his bullshit in front of his wife and thousands of other people."

"Who says I give a damn now?" I hear Nikki's voice behind us and I stop in my tracks, seeing Fred with his eyes closed as if preparing for a time bomb to go off. 

I turn to face Nikki, who's inches infront of me, and he looks down at me with a clenched jaw, looking like he just rolled out of bed, only wearing his leather pants from last night. 

"Oh, if it isn't the marital fuck-up." I throw at him. 

"Nice to see you, too, wicked cunt-bitch of the west coast." He hisses. 

"Okay, if you two are gonna go back and forth, please do so where hotel guests who're trying to enjoy their stay, aren't at risk of witnessing it." Fred suggests, motioning into the hotel room.

"I'd rather castrate myself than be trapped in a room with her." Nikki argues. 

"Please do so, maybe it'll keep you from tripping and falling, landing you in other women I'm friends with and becoming engaged to them." I snap back. 

"Bitter much?"

"Go play in traffic."

"Don't threaten me with a good time." 

"Anything's a good time to you if it involves not being a half-way decent husband, at the least."

"Okay, like you're 'wife of the year' Miss 'run when shit gets messy'."

"Need I remind you 'shit got messy' because you had an entire girlfriend, got engaged, and then she proceeded to indulge me and everyone else in the world when it was broadcasted nationwide?"

"No, baby, I remember it like it was three fuckin' days ago judging by how long you just fucking up and ran for without giving me a chance to explain a damn thing." 

"Just making sure you didn't forget since I can only imagine how much smack you've been shooting yourself full of to drown out the self-hate--which is well deserved, by the way."

"Just like it's gonna be well deserved when I bend you over my lap and--"

"--Okay, get in here." Fred tugs me inside to avoid our fight getting physical.

He’s shutting the door before Nikki can say anything else, shutting him outside, as I set my bag down and go pee.

“Vivian, I’m not done talking to you.” Fred says from the room and I roll my eyes.

“I’m peeing, Fred, can we talk about my imploded marriage when I get done?”

“No, because we’re leaving for Chicago early tomorrow morning.” He leans against the bathroom door frame, covering his eyes to keep from seeing me on the toilet.

“Okay, then talk to me.” I tell him, getting done, wiping and flushing the toilet, standing at the sink to wash my hands.

“We know he’s on smack again, Viv.” he informs me.

“I could’ve told you that.” I reply, drying my hands.

“No, no, he’s on smack again but he’s trying to act like he isn’t.”

“Because he knows Doc will strangle him and he doesn’t wanna hear it.” I shrug, stepping past him.

“He was doing good until this Vanity mess got between you two.” He states.

“Nikki was shooting heroin again before the Vanity thing happened. He was on heroin the night of our anniversary.”

His eyes widen when I tell him this.

“Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?!” He asks me and I raise my brows.

“I didn’t want him to get in trouble.” I admit honestly and he groans, rubbing his eyes.

“Vivian.” He complains.

“What, sorry, I thought he’d get a grip back on it...at least he told me he would.”

“Yes, because the past few days have obviously proven he can be trusted.” He argues. “He can’t even keep his vows, Viv, what the fuck made you think he’d get back on the wagon after falling off?”

“I didn’t know he wasn’t keeping his vows at the time, Fred, sorry.” I brush him off, pulling my hair back from my face with a ponytail holder.

“...Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll talk to Doc, we’ll figure something out before he starts spiraling.”

“I doubt he’s going to start spiraling, Fred. He tends to only let it get out of control when he’s bored.” I quickly remember him shooting up on stage during the last tour, and ODing in London… “We’ll figure something out, alright? Don’t go panicking to Doc and if you do tell Doc, don’t make it obvious to Nikki that you know what’s up and you want him to stop. He feels attacked and lashes out when people do that. Just keep an eye out for dealers and try to keep him company so he doesn’t feel lonely or alone.” I suggest.

“Well, I know when I tell Doc, what his makeshift solution will be.” He says and I raise my brows.

“What’s that?”

Reason number 1,468 that proves Doc was absolutely crazy…

“Oh, absolutely not.” I state the next night as me, Doc and Fred are walking backstage to get to the guys’ dressing rooms.

“Viv, just listen--” Doc starts but I cut him short.

“--We’re already having to lie to everybody and act like we’re still together, what the hell do you mean ‘make up’ with him?!” I snap, turning on him and he exhales.

“I don’t mean forgive him, I mean as long as he feels like everyone is against him, that might drive him further into his black hole--”

“--So, it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t do heroin, is that what you’re telling me?”

“Vivian, I feel like it would be best if you didn’t add to the many reasons he already feels like he’s gotta hurt himself over, just until this tour wraps and we can get him some proper help.” He tells me.

“Oh my God, I am actually about to have another stroke if you keep fucking talking!” I throw my hands up, stomping away from him, but he stays on my heels.

“Vivian, just listen.” He says as I open the dressing room door and barge in to see Vince, Mick, Tommy...and Devil Spawn.

“Doc, why don’t you just drop your pants and I’ll get on my knees and start slurping at your balls because that’s obviously what you want me to do!” I scream at him.

“Vivia--”

“--Nothing is good enough! You want us to play nice for the cameras, we’re doing that, you want us to bullshit the fans, we’re doing that, you want us to postpone a fucking divorce filing, we’re doing that, and now you’re wanting me to pretend he didn’t screw me over publicly just so he won’t feel bad that I can’t fucking stand him right now?!”

“What’s wrong?” Tommy asks.

“None of your fucking business!” I sneer at him.

“Get the fuck out, Vivian, Jesus.” Vince starts up.

“Oh, go scissor Bret Michaels and mind your own fucking business, bitch boy.” I shoot at him.

Liquor is drenching my dress when Vince is grabbing Tommy’s drink and throwing it on me, causing me to see red.

“What the fuck, Vince?!” Nikki barks at him, as Vince says:

“Get get your fucking ring back from the bitch Sixx chose over you.”

I’m lashing out, my nails dragging across Vince’s cheek as my flat palm hits his other cheek as hard as it can, causing the harsh stinging noise to echo through the room, as Doc and Fred both yell at us as we’re pried apart.

“Rabid Bitch!” Vince seethes, trying to fight past Doc to get to me, but Fred’s stepped in front of me, keeping me from going to Vince, too.

“Murderer!” 

The room goes silent immediately, their faces falling in shock as Vince just looks disgusted with me.

"Vivian." Doc starts, about to scold me.

"Everyone's got a fucking slap on the wrist, doesn't matter if you fucking overdose or actually kill someone, everybody just gets a fucking slap on the fucking wrist but the second I finally act like something isn't okay, the second I protest just glossing over the fact Nikki Fucking God Damn Sixx did something shitty, I'm a fucking bitter, hateful, rabid, disgusting bitch because apparently 'I should've known better'!" I outburst, taking a few deep breaths, calming down, trying not to cry before I focus on Doc. "I can smile for the cameras. I can force myself to stomach the idea of loving him in the public eye. But I refuse to just turn the other way and act like everything's okay behind closed doors, and you can't fucking make me." I say venomously to Doc before I'm storming out of the dressing room, seeing all the roadies that were around to hear the hell breaking loose behind the closed door of the dressing room.

The next couple days consists of me just staying in my hotel room, avoiding everyone except Fred, that is until…

I keep my head down, my hand gripping at Nikki’s as we all file out of the bus in the parking lot of the hotel as my other hand shields my sunglass-adorned eyes, hearing the shouts of questions from the paparazzi as all of us head to the entrance of the hotel with security trying to keep fans and the media at bay.

Almost as soon as we step foot into the hotel lobby, free from the press and witnesses, Nikki and I are dropping our hands from each other and pulling away as quickly as possible as if we’re magnetically repellent.

“Alright, shower, strip club.” Tommy names off their agenda to Nikki, Vince, and Mick. “Viv, you wanna--”

“--No.” I turn him down before he can even properly invite me, my eyes shifting to Nikki, who averts his gaze from me the second I look at him.

“But, Viv--”

“--Just leave her out of it, Tommy. She doesn’t wanna go.” Nikki tells him flatly, heading to the elevator.

“I can speak for myself, thank you.” I hiss back to him.

“Don’t start shit with me, Vivian. I’m not in the mood.” He snaps.

“What, fight with your girlfriend?” I ask as the elevator doors open.

“Go fuck yourself.” He snarls out, walking into the elevator and I’m right behind him.

“Don’t worry, I have been, being that you won’t ever touch me again.” I argue.

I guess everyone else decides not to ride in an elevator with us in case a fist fight ensues and they get caught in it.

I stare at him, his eyes covered with his sunglasses, his hair matted and sweaty from his show, his skin pale from his body purging the toxic mixture of drugs and alcohol from his system.

“Quit fucking staring at me.” He mumbles, and instead of saying something smart back or just hitting him, I look away, feeling a sadness wash over me as I notice he hasn’t taken his wedding ring off yet since we left the press behind.

“You’re not gonna take it off?” I ask, suddenly, trying to keep my tone neutral.

He doesn’t even have to ask what I’m talking about, he just knows.

I see him glance down at his ring finger before balling his left hand into a slight fist before relaxing it.

“We’re still married.” Is all he says before the doors open and he heads to his room.

I make my own separate room, unlocking the door, being met with the bland smell of a simple hotel room.

I’m used to hotel rooms smelling like Nikki.

Getting my jacket off, I step to the bathroom and get my makeup off and brush my teeth for bed before getting pajamas on. When I get to my bed, I notice something that wasn’t there before I left for the show: one of my tshirts that I left at the last hotel we were at in Texas.

Knowing who grabbed it for me, and why I should not smell it because it’s just going to make me sad, I bring it to my nose and feel my body tense in on itself, my heart heavy as his smell infiltrates my senses, and brings tears to my eyes.

How many times have I nearly talked to him, kissed him, touched him, smiled at him, all out of habit, only to realize why we are where we are in this shit to begin with?

I miss him.

He is with me everyday but I still miss him.

I exhale and climb into bed, clinging to the shirt that smells like him, closing my eyes and pretending I’m with him.

It suddenly occurs to me that the last time I kissed him, hugged him, held him, laughed with him, saw him in the shining light that I did--I didn't realize it was the last time.

Now I’ve got myself crying, and I wipe the stray tears, trying not to think about it anymore but I can’t help it.

I thought I put my absolute everything into every laugh, every kiss, every hug, every smile...but I didn’t. If I knew then what I know now, I would have.

I squeeze my eyes closed, before snatching the covers off, and go to my door, opening it, and marching to Nikki’s door.

A part of my hopes he hasn’t gone to the strip club yet, another part of me--the sane part--hopes he has.

I knock on the door and in a couple minutes it’s swinging open to reveal a hellish looking Nikki.

Trying not to cry, but failing, I lick my lips and finally get it off my chest.

“I didn’t get to say ‘goodbye’ to us.” I state, shakily, and he looks as defeated as I do.

“Vivian--”

“--You robbed me of getting to say ‘goodbye’, of being prepared to say ‘goodbye’. I wasn’t ready to not be with you, I wasn’t ready to have every reason to leave you thrown in my face. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you, and you stole that from me.” I tell him. “I didn’t get to say ‘goodbye’.” I repeat, a tear falling past my lashes.

He just looks down, letting me say what I need to and I take a deep breath, sniffle, and press my lips to his, catching him off guard.

It takes him no time to respond, the both of us letting out relieved hums as our tongues meet and he pulls me into the room with him, slamming the door behind me.

His hands are immediately pulling my shirt up, and I’m fumbling to get his belt unbuckled, being interrupted by him tugging my pajama shorts off, his lips grazing over my thigh, up my abdomen, between my breasts, and pressing to my neck before finding my lips again.

I let out a soft sigh, wrapping my arms around him, my bare chest pressed against him, his tongue moving in sync with mine.

He's pulling away in a few seconds, taking deep breaths, staring down at me, confused.

"What?" I ask softly, blinking up at him. 

"What are we doing, Viv?”

I don’t answer, not really knowing what to say to begin with.

“Huh?” He questions. “We never got to talk about it, we never--”

"--Nikki--"

"--You didn't want to talk to me about it, you didn't--"

"--There was nothing to say--"

"--I had plenty to say, Vivian." 

"Nikki, it doesn't matter now."

"It doesn't matter? Are you fucking crazy? 'It doesn't matter'?!" 

"I-It does, but--"

"--But what, Vivian? You just wanna pretend it didn't fucking happen or something?" He snaps.

"No, I don't want to pretend it didn't happen, Nikki, that's why I got so upset with Doc the other night because he wanted me to act like everything was fine, even behind closed doors, and I don't want to do that."

"Then why the fuck are you here?" He asks me. 

Apparently I get the wrong look on my face that blatantly tells him what I'm up to…and he starts laughing.

"You're gonna fuck me and leave me?!” He cackles, taking a step back and I go to speak, but I’m unable to. There’s nothing I can say, and my silence confirms it. "Holy shit you sneaky cunt."

“Nikki, stop--”

“--Were you gonna tell me you had no intention of trying to actually work shit out with me and you were just using me to make yourself feel better for a couple hours, or were you just gonna hand me fucking divorce papers and a pen the second I came in you?” He sneers.

“Nikki, I’m not trying to use you.” My voice cracks as tears come to my eyes.

“Did you come to talk about what happened and try to get somewhere, or just fuck one last time for the hell of it?” He demands and I take a breath, trying to get my head together enough to try to figure out why, myself. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Get the fuck out.” He pushes me away from him.

“If you’ll let me explain--”

“--The fuck is there to explain?! I cheated on you, you left, then you come back, patronize every fucking person that's fucked up, and then try to get your rocks off on my dick one last time like some pathetic slut. You either fucking hate me and you’re leaving, or you don’t and you’re not. I’m not doing the whole ‘friends with benefits’ bullshit with my own fucking wife!”

“A majority of our marriage has been ‘roommates with benefits’ so why the hell does it matter to you now that I just want one last night?!” I outburst suddenly and he rolls his jaw.

“Get the fuck out.” He repeats, shaking his head a little.

“No.” Tears topple over my lashes and I lick my lips, shaking my head.

“Vivian, I’m not fucking telling you again. Get the fuck out or I’m making you leave.”

“Nikki, plea--”

He’s suddenly grabbing at my arms, pulling my naked body from the floor.

“--Nikki, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean--”

“--You were gonna hump and dump me and you ‘didn’t mean’ it?!” He pulls me to the door while I struggle against him.

“Nikki, it was just for one last time, just so I could remember.” I plead, my hands grasping at his shirt, my eyes--blurry from tears--looking up at his. “Please, just one last time.” I beg, weakly, and he clenches his jaw, the ghosting of tears in his eyes for a second before he says:

“If it’s gonna be the last time…" his voice cracks, before it seems like he's forcing himself to "man up." 

"...I don't want to remember it." He says next.

“Nikki, please--no!” I fight with him when he gets his door open. 

"Bye, Viv." I almost don't recognize the man speaking to me, he sounds so fucking distant, cut off, as if the Nikki Sixx I met at the Starwood years ago took a step back and someone else had to come forward and get me out.

“Nikki, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just please, don’t do thi--Nikki!” I cry when he shoves me out of the room, completely naked, and slams the door after leaving  my pajamas at my feet.

My theory was and is today that, that moment, that "bye, Viv" was his way of finalizing what he thought was the end of us, because after that night, he acted like he despised and hated me, up until the last few nights of the Crüe's Japan tour when he called me multiple times in the middle of night, crying, fucked up, pleading, finally telling me how much he loved me.

[rantingswithrage]

Impossible - Chapter Seven

Jared Padalecki x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 4,158

We sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a couple of minutes.

Why was I feeling so ashamed? I didn't have to be ashamed around him. I barely knew him and the little that I did know, was the cause of my bad day. I shouldn't care what he thinks. But for some reason, I do care.

"What are their names?" He finally said something. I looked up at him to see him looking right back at me. I gave him a half smile.

"Um, Camden and Matthew." I said just above a whisper. I now was completely regretting telling him. I knew he was probably going to ask more questions about them.

He smiled slightly, "I like those names, which one is older?" He was just making conversation but I was so uncomfortable talking about this.

"Well Camden, she is almost four and Matthew is almost three." I looked up at him, and waited for his reaction. He smiled bigger first and then the smile disappeared completely.

"Um, I don't mean to pry but can I ask you a more personal question?" He just looked at me waiting for a reaction. I simply nodded.

"Do you have a boyfriend, or married or something. I mean, it's okay if you do but I don't want to get you in trouble with anyone." I sighed.

"No, I'm not married and I don't have a boyfriend. Their father is not involved in either of their lives." It was weird how much information I was just freely passing unto him. At least I know now that I won't have to worry about Jared bothering me again. After tonight, I will never see him again. He probably thinks I am slut.

"Oh, I see." He said smiling again. Silence fell between us and I just wished that the waitress would come back so we could order our food and get closer to getting home and away from this awkward situation.

Jared looked like he was about to say something but was interrupted when a waiter practically ran into our table.

I looked up and froze at who I saw.

"Good evening, my name's Spencer and I am your server. Have you decided on what you would like?” He first looked at Jared.

Jared looked at me, "Ladies first."

The waiter looked over at me for the first time and I looked up at him. Our eyes met and I could see his entire attitude change. He smirked.

"Y/n/n? Well fancy meeting you here. How've you been? Are you dating again?" He asked eyeing Jared.

Jared looked confused.

I looked away from Spencer knowing that my face was tomato red. I stared and studied my hands.

"I, uh..." I didn't know what to say but I didn't get a chance to answer.

"Yes, she is on a date and I have no idea what that has to do with the fact that you have not taken our orders." Jared interrupted causing both Spencer and I to look at him with wide eyes.

Spencer chuckled to himself. "Whoa there fella, I was just trying to catch up. I used to be kinda close to this catch, if you know what I mean." He said 'this catch' while pointing at me.

I didn't say a word, I just looked down again. I was totally humiliated. I know that I was still upset at Jared for what he had done today but I couldn't even begin to describe how embarrassed I felt watching this happen.

"Well, I can see why you are not close anymore if you compare being with a woman to catching a fish." Jared spat.

I looked up at Jared+ and wondered why he was defending me. He really doesn't know anything about me, except for that fact that he has questions about the darkest time in my life. I just kept quiet while I waited to see what was going to happen.

Spencer's eyes narrowed and I could see that familiar look. He was getting angry and that is definitely not a good thing.

He opened his mouth to probably tell Jared to ‘fuck off’ but was cut off by Jared, "I think it is time for you to do your job and take our orders, or am I going to have to go talk to your manager?" Jared stated with authority.

Spencer seemed to realize what his current position was and his face went from angry to bored.

"Fine, whatever. What'ya gonna get." He said trying to seem bored, but could tell that he felt defeated. He knew that there was nothing he could say while he was working.

"Like I said, Ladies first." Jared said and both of their attentions turned back to me.

I was still frozen in place. It was like I had forgotten how to talk.

"Well, come on. If you hadn't noticed, it's really busy and I haven't gotten all night." Spencer snapped.

"I, uh. I want the seasoned chicken with vegetables." I said not making eye contact with him.

Spencer scribbled it down and turned to Jared.

Spencer just gave him a look that said if we were anywhere else, he would have punched him.

Jared smiled, "I will have the 6oz steak, please."

Spencer scribbled it down and looked back up at Jared waiting for him to say more, but when Jared didn't say anything, he sighed and spoke up.

"How do you want it cooked?" Spencer asked obviously annoyed.

Jared smirked, "Medium well, please."

Spencer didn't say a thing as he collected our menus and turned to walk away.

I watched as he stepped away and then turned around and smirked at me. It was not a good smirk. I knew he was planning something. Jared interrupted my thoughts, "Who was that? How does he know you?"

I looked at Jared. He looked like he was generally concerned.

I sighed looking in the same direction that Spencer has just walked away from us. I didn't want to talk about it, and in all honesty, I wanted to get out of here. I wanted to go as far away from this place as I could. I was starting to break down. I was no longer mad at Jared for what he had done to me earlier. All I cared about now was not wanting to remember what had happened so long ago. I remained quiet trying to arrange the words that would help me describe how much I wanted to leave, with out hurting Jared's feelings.

After a few minutes of me ignoring Jared's question, Jared cleared his throat, making me look up at him. He had concern written all over his face. "Are you okay?" He asked staring right into my eyes.

I couldn't look away and I just couldn't lie. "Honestly," my voice was so shaky "I'm not okay. I don't want to be rude, but if it's okay with you, I'd like to go now."

Jared looked slightly hurt but nodded as he began to get up. He obviously knew something was wrong and didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable, which surprised me. Most guys wouldn’t have cared about how I was feeling, they would have wanted to stay and eat and ignore my issues.

He went first and I followed him through the crowd and out to the parking lot.

Jared helped me get in and soon followed by getting in himself. He didn't start the car though, he just sat there for a minute before looking over at me.

"I know that you are upset by what happened, but do you want to go home, or did you just want to leave this particular restaurant?" Jared asked seeming like he was scared of how I would react to his question.

I had no idea how to answer his question. It had been such a long time since I had seen Spencer and it still hurt to see him. It brought me right back to that time. It honestly felt like I had open wounds; like a never ending bleed. I felt like running away from everything. Spencer, Jared, my job... but then, all I pictured was my kids. Those beautiful faces and how sweet and innocent they are. I love them so much. They are the reason why I work so hard. I need the money and the insurance from them. All I want to do right now is be with them.

I sighed remembering Jared's question. "Look, I've had a long day. I know that you wanted to go out and eat, but if it's okay with you, I would really like it if you could bring me home now." I didn't even look at Jared as I said this. I could audibly hear him sigh.

I heard Jared start his car, but then was quickly startled by Jared's response. "No!"

I was forced to look up at him. I raised an eyebrow. Was he serious?

"What?" I asked.

He put both hands on the steering wheel and turned towards me.

"I said no. I am not going to bring you home just yet." he replied. Typical, every guy needs to be in control and have everything go their way. 

This time is different though. Something snapped and anger suddenly rose up inside of me. I couldn't help it. All of the frustration and this emotional roller-coaster that today has brought me through, it all just bubbled up and burst out at this moment.

"You can't be serious. I am exhausted. I worked my butt off to serve you hand and foot after you messed up everything for me at work, and then you practically force me to go out with you when I clearly had no interest. You finally pick a restaurant and our waiter just so happens to be my abusive ex-husband who left me after he realized he didn't want a family anymore. He left me to deal with our children alone. I've told you personal things about myself that you had no right to know and now all I want is for you to take me home so I can relax after the worst day ever. Do you have enough decency in you to respect that?!" I yelled. I was on the verge of tears. I was fuming mad but I was an emotional wreck.

He looked taken aback but then his face changed back.

He never looked away; he just kept his gaze on me.

"Y/n, I don't know what is going on in your life. You're right. I barely know you, and I didn't deserve for you to tell me everything that you did. I am so sorry for all of the damage that I caused today. But, I know that I cannot take you back home right now."

"Oh, and why's that?" I snapped.

He had a sideways smile, "Because I know exactly what you need."

"And what is it that I need?"

"You'll see." He said as he put the car in gear and began to drive.

I had been trying to convince him for about ten minutes that he was practically kidnapping me. He just smiled and shushed me.

I gave up trying to get him to bring me home after a while because it just made me more tired and it was just easier to give in.

After a moment of my silence he reached toward the radio and said, "Perfect! I was waiting for you to calm down so that I could do this." He turned up the volume and the very opposite of what I expected to hear came pouring out of the speakers. It was classical music.

I looked at him and was about to open my mouth when he interrupted me, "Ah, no. Shush! The more quiet you are, the faster this will be over. I promise." He turned towards me as he said, ‘I promise’. I sighed and rested back on my chair.

I looked out the window and couldn't figure out where I was. But all I could see were the beautiful leaves. It's getting to be the prime time in autumn and the leaves are beginning to change. It was so beautiful. I just stared out the window mesmerized by the natural beauty of the season.

Before I realized what was happening, Jared pulled into a drive-thru. It was a place I had never heard of. It was called Tracy's Beanery. He stuck his head out the window and ordered something. I couldn't hear what he said. He didn't ask me if I wanted anything. I was getting aggravated as he pulled up to the window to pay. They took his money, handed him the change and the gave him two hot drink cups. He said a thank you as he drove away. Before we left the parking lot, he pulled quickly into a parking space and put the car in park.

He handed me one of the cups and said, "Alright, this is what is going on. I want you to sit back and relax. I don't know a lot about you but I do know that everyone needs to take a break now and then. You need just a few minutes of peace. And I know that if I took you home right now, that is not what you would get. Drink this. It is hot apple cider. Tonight is a beautiful night. You can enjoy the ride as we see all of the beautiful leaves and listen to some relaxing music. You don't even have to talk. Just give me an hour. One hour and then you can go home. I promise." He raised his hand like was saying 'scouts honor' as he promised.

He was right. If he brought me home right now, the kids would be crazy and it would be impossible for me to get them settled but if I waited a little longer then Riley would have already put them both to bed. And I do love apple cider...

I looked down in my lap defeated. I guess it kinda would be nice to not have to do anything at all.

"Fine," I sighed, "But only for one hour." I stated. Jared's face lit up.

"Good." He said as he turned the music up just a little and began to drive.

We had driven around for fifteen minutes and I was completely relaxed. I never really knew how nice it was to listen to classical music. I never really even thought about it before, it wasn't my thing but all I knew is that it was nice. The apple cider was so good, too. I was almost done with mine. They must have made it right there at the cafe. And all that mixed with the smooth drive and the beautiful weather, I was out of my element. I honestly had never felt so relaxed in my entire life.

I almost forgot that Jared was there until I felt his hand touch mine. I looked at him. His hand was still on mine. It wasn't an accident. He had reached over on purpose.

"Is that okay?" he asked as he continued to drive along the road.

I didn't feel like he was trying to make a move on me. It really felt like he cared. Like he was holding my hand to let me know that I wasn't alone. It was more of a friendly gesture than a romantic one. And for some reason, I was okay with it.

I responded with soft, 'Yeah' and he held my hand a little tighter. And we continued to drive with the only sound being the music from the radio.

It was actually nice. I can't believe how much I was enjoying myself. It was all so simple. A car ride, leaves, apple cider, a hand-hold but it felt like medicine. Like it was taking away everything that had made me sick. It was melting away stress and allowing me to relax far better than I have before.

But all too quickly the hour was up and I looked around outside the window and realized where we were. We were back at work. How he managed that, I'll never know.

He let go of my hand to put the car in park. And then just sat back and looked out his window.

After a few moments of silence I decided to break it. I mumbled a quick "thank you."

He turned back towards me with a soft smile. "You're welcome! I hope you were able to relax just a little."

"I did. I don't know how I went from furious to depressed to furious and then to content, but it was really nice. Even though you had to kidnap me to get me to do it."

He had a playful smirk. "I didn't actually kidnap you. You didn't have to take me up on my offer but I'm glad you did." His smile was contagious and just made me smile back at him. But it quickly faded when I realized that I had to get home to the kids and then, get myself to bed so that I could rest up enough to be able to work tomorrow.

"Um, thank you for this. It was really nice but I should be getting home now." I said hoping that he would understand.

His face was calm and understanding.

"Okay, just tell me which way to go." he said as he pulled out of the parking lot.

We arrived at my apartment building and he parked the car. Then he jumped out and ran over to my door and opened it for me. I thanked him and he nodded.

He walked me to the door to the building.

"Y/n, I really enjoyed spending time with you. I hope that we will see each other again very soon. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your night." he said with another winning smile.

"Thank you for insisting that I stick around for that drive. It really was relaxing and exactly what I needed. It definitely balanced out the bad day." We both smiled.

"Well good, I'm glad." He said. "Go get some rest." He opened the door for me.

"Thank you, I will." I said as I began to walk through.

As I stepped in I felt Jared gently grab my wrist.

“Wait,” he said as I turned back around. He was standing, or should I say towering over me. His face was soft and he had a hopeful look on his face. 

“Yeah?” I said confused as to why he stopped me.

He cleared his throat, “I can’t pretend to understand anything that you’re going through but I can tell you that I know what it feels like to have to fight a battle on your own. That’s why I pushed to have you stay with me for the ride because I knew that sometimes just doing something simple to distract yourself can bring rest in a lot of different ways.” He paused waiting for my reaction.

I was overwhelmed with his compassion and also very curious to hear about his struggles as well. I didn’t know what to say, I simply nodded.

He took that as a good sign and continued, “I can tell that you’ve had to face a lot of things by yourself and your very strong. I was an honor getting to spend time with you today and I hope we can do it again soon.” He smiled.

I returned the smile. “I don't think I’ve ever changed my mind about someone so drastically and so quickly then I did today. You started off as one of my worst clients but then you were there for me in ways that I didn’t even know I needed. I didn't want to go out with you but I owe you one after what you did for me today.”

Jared’s eyes got playfully wide, “I don't think so, I think I’ll be making it up to you for a long time. Some men still don’t know how to act when they see a girl the like. I made a fool of myself today.” I chuckled.

“Eh, let’s call it even.” I smiled. Jared smiled a smile that was practically glowing.

“I’ll take that deal.” He said as he held his hand out for me to shake. As our hands connected and shook up and down, he didn’t let go of my hand. 

His smile faded into a more serious face. His eyes locked on mine.

I was a little nervous until his eyes quickly glanced down to my lips. He slowly leaned in and waited for me to make any kind of response. I haven't even known him for more than a few hours but I had already been through a rollercoaster of emotions. I gave into the moment and stepped in closer to him.

That was all Jared needed. His lips came crashing down onto mine. It was a strong kiss but not forceful. It couldn’t believe the sensation that ran through my entire body. It was like I had been plugged in or I was finally awake after being in a coma. I had never felt anything like it before. Our lips came apart and Jared smiled down at me. I mirrored his smile back up to him.

He slipped his hand into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a business card and handed it to me. 

“Here, this is my business card. I use the information for work.” He smirked. “What most people don’t know is that I’m too lazy to have two accounts for everything, so that is my personal cell number.” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. He lightly chuckled at my reaction. “Feel free to text or call me whenever. I’m not going to ask for your number. I feel like I’ve forced you to do enough stuff for one day.” He laughed. “Take as long as you want in reaching out to me, if that is something you’d like to do. Just know that I will be waiting by my phone like every teenage girl in every 80s movie for you to contact me.” He smiled dramatically at me. I laughed at his dramatics which made him flash a real smile down at me.

“Thank you. I’m surprised by how today has turned out but I plan on giving you a call. I just may make you sweat it out for a day or two first.” I giggled mischievously. His pouted his lips and made puppy dog eyes at me. I laughed a little more at his reaction until he perked up.

“You may make me wait but you did say you would call. That’s good enough for me.” He said with a new found spark. I shook my head at his antics.

“Well, I should get inside and relieve Riley from babysitting.” I said as I yawned.

Jared nodded and made a half smile at me as I yawned. “Yeah and you need some rest after a day like today.” He said as he stepped back to clear the path in to the door.

“Yeah, thanks again for tonight.” I said as I stepped inside. 

"Thank you for giving me a very undeserved chance. Goodnight, Y/n. Sleep well and don't forget to call!" He said as he waved.

"I won’t. Goodnight, Jared." I said as I waved back and closed the door. He walked back to his car and then drove away.

As I got in the elevator, I was able to unwind the events of the day.

I started off overwhelmed by the busyness of work then went to being angry at Jared to finally ending in being thankful to him. I don't know how all of those emotions can take a hold in one day but I do know that it was a good day after all. Now, I am exhausted and can actually hear my bed calling my name.

I got to my apartment on the fourth floor. Riley was watching a show on the couch.

"They're both already asleep, and you need to tell me every little thing that happened in the last few hours but tell me tomorrow cause I'm about to pass out." She said as she got up, grabbed her purse and hugged me as she walked out the door.

"Night, Ry. Thanks for everything."

"No problen. Night, Y/n" She said as she walked away to the elevator.

I closed the door and locked it.

I quickly checked on my sleeping beauties and then made my way to my own bed.

All I know is that even after an impossible day filled with impossible people, I am going to get a good night of sleep tonight and maybe I’ll call Jared tomorrow.