#like shes my number 1 favorite teacher of all time we talk about so many things and sonmuch about my future

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Did your school, especially high school or whatever you had before college/university, rank the students? Did you know your ranking? Do you agree with the student who ended up at number 1?

Sadly it's been years since high school but I can remember all of it, probably only because they screwed me over and I do not know how to let things go. I was number 5 in the school, talked to my counselor about having afternoons off for my senior year since I had completed the required courses and also some college exchange courses and they assured me it would not affect my rank. I dropped to 7 and when I confronted them they told me of course it would affect it since I would have no grades to be submitted for the afternoons. Then our number 1 student was a girl I had in multiple classes who averaged Cs at best and frequently asked the dumbest questions imaginable such as why are the villagers wanting the dragon killed in Beowulf when we had just read about it destroying the villages. So I was very very angry about her getting ranked as number 1 because I know for a fact her grades were not good enough but she was very beloved by the teachers.

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer within a certain amount of time or at all.*

Hi Lovely!

Oh gosh, I genuinely don't remember much about my high-school years... they were too traumatic for me and I just.... have a mental block on large chunks of it. All I do remember is that there were honour students, but you had to be in the top like 1% to be on the honour roll, and I never was. But other than that, I've never heard of a "ranking" system in school. Is that a common thing? I dunno, I was in high school over 20 years ago so maybe things have changed LOL.

UGH favoritism, on the other hand, did exist and I was never the favourite. Teachers didn't like me much, and I was even accused often of tracing my art projects (fuck that teacher, honestly) and I nearly failed my various math classes because I couldn't attend many of them when my dad was sick. Bleh. Whatever, I hated school, I was so glad to leave.

College were the best years of my education life, and I actually miss THOSE days more than any schooling.

Thanks for your anecdote and the ask! :)

[souryoong]

1 year of souryoong — here’s some of ash’s all time faves! ☆

☆ i truly want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for being with me throughout this year on this site. it’s actually so crazy how it’s been only a year? time really does fly by. Before I posted "at the studio" I was metaphorically blowing dust off of my writing chops. (kind of an odd saying lol) I was absolutely terrified to say the least about joining this site and sharing my writing. But I am so so so glad I bit the bullet and chose to post my story because it has brought me to so many great things and even greater people! I love every single one of my followers and mutuals, whether we talk or not, if youre a silent reader, or if you constantly like/reblog my works. Nobody is just a number to me, you all mean everything to me. Im hoping that the career path and education that I have chosen for myself is not ~too demanding~ so I can be here for more years to come. I'll cut myself off before I write a damn novel because sometimes I don't know when to shut up.

☆ I didn’t want to do some extravagant “game” to celebrate because I feel like most of my followers probably wouldn’t be into it, so instead I’m showing my love outward. listed below are some of my all time favorite works from some of my mutuals and other authors. Some of these works are ones that inspired me to start posting my own writing, and others are just some of my really old faves from when I first joined that I have yet to forget about. I’m not sure if everyone in this list is still active, but nonetheless here are some of my all time favorites!

list is below the cut!

*everything marked “18+” contains sexual content*

☆ cybersex – myg (18+) | @gimmethatagustd

the whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend? (wc: 14.6k)

☆ the sheets – kth (18+) | @kth1

on your night out with the gals you get hit up by the one and only, Kim Taehyung, who’s been eyeing all of your Instagram stories. It’s no shocker that he attempts to get you back to his place once you finally decide to leave the club because this isn’t your first rodeo with the determined and insanely hot, fuckboy. (wc: 6.8k)

☆ enemy – kth & jhs (18+) | @btssmutgalore

when your friend with benefits Hoseok becomes too busy to keep your thing going, Taehyung volunteers to fill the spot. fic is a series.

☆ message received – jhs (18+) | @minisugakoobies

hoseok sent you a message. will you listen? (wc: 1.7k)

☆ helping hand – jjk (18+) | @yoonieper

a double blind date was your suggestion. everything about it should make him happy, but this sinking feeling just won’t go away. allhe wanted was to get it over with. (wc: 23.4k)

☆ hard liquor – myg (18+) | @chateautae

your dull evening at a bar becomes hopeful when your mysterious, handsome boss min yoongi shows you the ropes on everything alcohol, but shows you much more when he ends up buried deep inside you. (wc: 8k)

☆ drip – myg (18+) | @here2bbtstrash

yoongi fingering you until you squirt. (wc: 4.8k)

☆ your yoongi – myg (18+) | @yoongiphoria

there is no one you could love more than your slightly tipsy, beautiful yoongi. (wc: 2.9k)

☆ untitled drabble – myg | @delugguk

playing with each others hair, they love each other. sigh...I want what they have. (wc: 598)

☆ love signs – myg | @norcula

min yoongi and producer reader going through daily life. (fic is a series)

☆ private lesson – myg (18+) | @dntaewithluv

Your little sister finds it odd how you've been taking private lessons from her piano teacher for over a month now, but she hasn't heard you actually play even once... (wc: 5.5k)

☆ the landlord – myg (18+) | @ppersonna

your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave. good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have. (wc: 4.3k)

☆ suga’s how-to guide – myg (18+) | @sailoryooons

Min Yoongi has been a cam boy for a few years now. The work is easy, the money is good, and he has loyal viewers. When he approaches you and asks if you want to be his muse for a ‘how-to’ series, your view on the infamous Yoongi changes. fic is a series. (wc: 25k)

☆ mixtape – myg (18+) | @sailoryooons

Growing up with Yoongi as your older brother’s best friend was bound to manifest a crush. It was small, fleeting. Gone with age and time. On a holiday trip to the cabin, you’re reunited with Yoongi after not seeing him from two years. Maybe that crush wasn’t as over as you thought it was. fic is a series. (wc: 68.5k)

☆ lost in your light – pjm (18+) | @thepurpleghost

you and Jimin are the best of friends since fourth grade until the tables have turned one weekend wedding. Crazy confessions after some tequila body shots. (wc: 5.6k)

and btw, my official tumblr date of birth is 8.5.2022 🎂 posting this a day early because I don’t want to forget.

[cupidwithaknife]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

hii i appreciate your question ! ✧⁠*⁠。

i've made a list of my favourite characters here. (P.S. THE NUMBERS DON'T INDICATE ANY RANK since i couldn't decide how to rank them :"))

1. kim dokja - omniscient reader's viewpoint

✧⁠*•彡 one thing about me is that i like smart characters so you'll probably see a lot of those on my list :3 dokja is the love of my life lmao

[constellation cupid with a knife loves this official art]

p.s. if you haven't read the novel yet, i implore you to do so ! it's soooo good !! (the webtoon is also great !)

2. dazai osamu - bungo stray dogs

✧⁠*•彡 told you- another smart character :") also i love the contrast between the port-mafia-dazai and agency-dazai. Won't give any spoilers but if you haven't watched bungo stray dogs yet, i guarantee it's amazing !

3. maki zenin - jujutsu kaisen

✧⁠*•彡 i love how jjk has so many strong female characters and maki is surely one of them !

4. hange zoe - attack on titan

✧⁠*•彡 another strong female character ! also, we gotta appreciate hange for her eccentricity and comedic relief (however limited they were) XD

5. koro sensei - assassination classroom

✧⁠*•彡 best teacher ever ! i love how he makes sure none of his students feel left out/ignored in class and how he understands each of them individually. as a student myself, i always wished i had a teacher like him :") the entire anime was a roller coaster ride and even though i watched this a long time back, it still brings back memories :")

6. william james moriarty - moriarty the patriot

✧⁠*•彡 okay, i feel like this is such an underrated masterpiece and people should talk about this more ! william takes the crown for being the mastermind that he is, but every single character is so interesting (and attractive) too xD

7. han sooyoung - omniscient reader's viewpoint

✧⁠*•彡 another orv character, sorry ! but i cant help but include her on this list. i love her independent nature and how unbothered she can appear to be ! also, LOVE seeing dokja and her bickering like siblings lmao

8. rengoku kyoujiro - demon slayer

✧⁠*•彡 this guy has no enemies lolol (except maybe the demons). i mean- can anyone dislike him ?? just look at that smile T^T

9. edogawa ranpo - bungo stray dogs

✧⁠*•彡 i seem to love characters with a deeply contrasting personality (e.g. how he can go from eating snacks cutely at the agency to being such a badass solving crimes and saving the agency every time) he really shone in season 4 and with how things are going in the latest season, i can already tell he's gonna slay all the way heheh

10. armin arlert - attack on titan

✧⁠*•彡 last but absolutely not the least, we have armin ! he's so adorable and precious T^T another smart character and truth be told, eren and all wouldn't have survived all that much without him

that's it for my list ! hope this was okay <3

[sunnyydayys]

This I wrote in class bc I was bored! No warnings but it’s very interesting (I’ll take ideas and requests on writing)

—————————————————————————

Wolf In Sheep's Clothing-

I wander the streets normally. A slow pace with a small thud with every step. I walk as if I'm the same as everyone around me. Everytime I look at a person, their age appears above them. Most people look there age so it's quite boring. My life is normal otherwise.

I finally get to the bus stop as a young boy passes by crashing into me. Above his head I see the number 8. He apologizes and I get on the bus. Looking around I see normal people and normal numbers. A woman, 40. The bus driver, 57, A baby, 1, and the lady holding the 1 year old, 32. I take my seat among the rest as I see another person board the bus. A younger lady, looking at her probably 16. I look up flummoxed at the number above her head,1,458. That's impossible. No human lives that long! Due to being in shock I didn't realize this woman had sat next to me on the bus. She turned her head and smiled, “good morning!” she chirped. I returned the favor still in shock.something about her was off, not just the number over her head. She had a mysterious feeling around her. My stop finally came and I stood up and so did she. We were both going out. Outside my school?

We both wandered the halls. She showed me her schedule. . . all of our classes are the same. That means we would be together the whole day. “So what's your name?” I spoke slowly. She looked down at her paper almost like she forgot her own name. “My name is . . .” Looking down again, “ Charlotte.” She said it in a confusing tone. I looked at her, “ I’m Harper.” I spoke and we continued walking to our classes. Maybe if i'm friends with her i can figure out this number thing. I guess my power isn't that boring after all.

We stumbled into the first period late due to our talking in the hall. First period history. We took our seats next to each other. The teacher continued talking after our interruption. Charlotte turned to me in a whisper and said, “ Wait your name is Harper . . . like a Harpy kind of.” I looked back at her, “Oh, you like Greek mythology. That's cool and yes kinda like a Harpy.” I spoke. That's something we have in common, a liking toward mythical creatures.

It was now lunch, 5th period. We sat at a small table alone. “So do you like kelpies, there my favorite out of all creatures,” I said. Charlotte looked overjoyed, “Yes! I have many Kelpie friends in the water!” Looking confused, I said, “friends?” The color drained from Charlotte's face, “oh! I mean like in books?” I made a fake laugh. Something is definitely different about her. “ I understand,” I said, shooting her a smile.

I had a great idea and said I was going to the bathroom. Walking towards Charlotte's locker. I slid in a note I made for her. It reads,

Dear new girl,

I have something you most know. I have a secret Meet me after school and we will talk

From, ***p*r

Hopefully she won't take this as a threat. I scratched my name so it wasn't noticeable. I walked back to lunch and enjoyed the rest of my time.

The last period of the day was coming to an end. I got in position to confront Charlotte. She came and made contact with me. “Why are you here?” She spoke lightly. I walk closer, “I have something to tell you and it's important.” I took a deep breath and started again, “ I have this power thing. I can tell people's ages . . .” She took a few steps back, “You know!” She screeched. I take a deep breath in, “ what are you, that your age appeared so old?” She looks down, “ I am with the Shadowers of the Arcane secrets, I am a species unknown in any book. We call ourselves Abyssal’s.” She pauses and continues, “We are from earth and no one must know and now you do so there's only two things I can do. Join us or be killed with my secret. Your powers and he used to locate more of us and be helpful or die at the hands of me.” I stepped back mortified by the person I met. Abyssal’s, A deep meaning, something secret and pushed away. I took a deep breath and spoke, “What will happen if I join you?” She looks me straight in the eyes. “A ritual of the gods is performed, you will no longer be a human. Changing you to an immortal being. This becomes your whole life and you will be transformed into an Abyssal. Our way of living is far underground, no light. I'm here to bring human souls back for a feast. If you don’t join, you will be that feast. I've grown quite fond of your presents. Please do what is right.” I stepped back to the railing of the fountain in the quart yard. Backing up more and more. The sky became a deep red along with the water behind me. I fell in the water. It was thick, was this even water? Or was it blood? Marks covered my arms and legs as I tried to move to the surface. I popped my head out the surface and Charlotte stood over me. She pushed me back in as I fell to the bottom of the fountain losing consciousness.

I woke up somewhere new. A dark cave. I was pinned to a table. A giant beast stood over me. It had bright white eyes and a wicked smile. It started chanting and I felt like I was being ripped from my body. I slowly became a bright white orb along with others on a small wheeled chart. We were moved into a dining hall where many of these beasts were around. One spoke up, “ Cheers to Azarpoius! Or should I say Charlotte! Our wolf in sheep's clothing! Please Azarpoius pick first!” A beast gets up and picks me up “this one will do . . .”

[evedreamsof]

summaries

BY DREAM

JAYSON APOLONIO

total: 8

a few of my favorite things // eve is upset

friendly // jayson’s being too friendly with his ex

gathering // eve asks jayson to be her date in a family gathering, oh, and he’s wearing a polo

inked // eve sees the many tattoos of jayson

i’ve been hacked // mary hacks eve’s phone

romantic // jayson’s being too romantic

stuck // eve isn’t so sure of jayson’s feelings for her

they’re just girls // eve thinks her boyfriend is handsome, and so do other girls

JUSTIN ARANA

total: 30

a different team // eve watches the smb vs converge championship

a nod // sometimes you just have to turn away

a wild snack // a sandwich can be really wild sometimes

banoffee // the smell of coffee leads to something more

birthday boy // justin has plans for his birthday

consolation prize // justin thought she was getting a little too bold...who was he to turn it down?

dinner for...? // justin asks eve out on a date

gomez returns // justin just wants what’s best for eve...here comes overthinking

happiness // eve asks justin if he’s gay

he said, but she said // justin brings eve to the comic con

i can talk about this all day // eve can be such a marvel fan

i thought so, too // everything was going well...or so justin thought

i want more // eve comes home from a tiring day and asks justin for more

jesse mccartney // eve and justin watch jesse mccartney live

karma // eve tries her best not to clapback at a hater

let’s take a selfie // what do other people do with other people’s selfies

my day // having a crush who follows you must be so hard

number one // justin doesn’t think the celebrity is all that

origins //  eve has always wanted pet names

photo // a little fun with while having dinner with the parents isn’t so bad

poor phoenix // justin’s first championship with smb

profile pic // justin changes his profile picture

property // a household has its ups and downs

slight interaction // just some harmless exchange on instagram

stalker // who is the real stalker (based on a friend’s true story)

the masseuse // massages are supposed to be the best, but eve won’t let justin do it to her

traded // justin’s got news for eve

we are // what do you do when you put two clueless idiots together

which one // cheering for two teams makes people confused sometimes

will you marry me // a sign can give a lot of emotions

ALDIN AYO

total: 1

a nod // sometimes you just have to turn away

XANDER CASANOVA

total: 3

collection // eve and xander talk about her collection

fear the ball // eve gets hit by a ball

sleep on it // xander will not take any bullshit

PHILLIP JAPOR

total: 2

breathing // eve’s got a busy night

following // eve spaces out while looking at phillip

CALVIN OFTANA

total: 23

a matter of trust // “hey, calvin’s doing it, might as well”

asking khalel // eve and calvin needs someone’s permission

answered blessings // it’s eve vs. ena

baby talk // what baby

blurting // calvin looks good in an unbuttoned polo shirt

do it soon // eve and calvin go to the amusement park

happy // officially official? since when?

kris allen // eve misses him

more than a little // they miss each other

notifications //  eve likes too many pictures of calvin, if not all

rain check // a rain check? really, eve? 

ready or not // how many points will calvin get

teacher’s pet //  eve doesn’t know how to rollerblade

thank you // eve’s in a daze

the eyes never lie // calvin shows eve how it works

the talk // surprise, she’s a basketball fan

the news //  sometimes facebook really just gives you the news quicker than anyone

the note //  eve and calvin finally meet

the trade // eve experiences the pba game experience

time to play // all khalel wanted to do was stay up and play

tonight by westlife // calvin hasn’t been in the best of moods lately, and it’s hurting eve

trauma // eve talks with a heavy heart

two dates a night // eve needs to get out of there

wallpaper // they’re allowed to look at each other’s phones

SUMMARIES

look at summaries here

SUMMARIES BY ENTRY

look at summaries by entry here

PERSONAL FAVORITES

look at summaries of personal favorites here

tags

look for tags here

[kendricksendrick]

2ND DATE ALERT 🚨

FUCK IM SO EXCited for our date on friday i miss her and were ice skating which means lots of contact ;)))))) my hands are ready and my brain isnt about to stop imagining how fun and amazing this date could be aw i love my life im actually thrivin !! Like imagine us on the ice skrrting sround holding hands, me like ooh teach me to skate backwards and her hands on my waist pushing mee, her doing a fun little trick bc she actually skates then coming abck to me and i hug her or she hugs me from behind snd we try to skate and awwww fuck thisnisngonna be sososo good

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Aim For The Heart | Chapter 1: At First Sight

Pairing: hitman!jk x female reader

Genre: E2L, romance, angst, drama

WC: 4.5k

Warnings for this chapter: alcohol consumption, language, stalking kind of? I think that's all lol. Pls let me know if there is anything else I should put.

tag list; @teresaisla @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @ggukkieland @mwitsmejk @yukiehyukie

summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn't sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn't his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger. 

Previous › Next

A bright smile graces your features as you tuck the little star-shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into a tiny container, just barely getting two of them to fit as you squish them down a tad bit in order to get the lid clipped on.

Then you grab a little tangerine and a cheese stick to drop into your lunch bag along with the sandwiches, counting the number of items aloud to yourself as they make themselves at home and then you zip it all up.

"Th-There we go!" You lift your lunch for the day in triumph.

Your phone startles you when it starts to ring, then you grapple in your purse to find it. You pull it out and answer right before the last ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, girl! Are you ready to go? I'm downstairs." The voice of your best friend comes through the phone and you look at the clock on your microwave. You stare at the little black screen, confused as to why the time isn't showing up before remembering that you were never able to figure out how to display the clock when you bought the microwave three years ago. So, you hold your phone out to look at the time.

6:32

"Oh geez! I didn't r-realize the time. I'll be d-down in a minute, k?" You say, earning a lighthearted laugh from the girl on the other end.

"Take your time, hun. I'm not in any rush."

You thank her quickly and hang up, then you run to your room to grab your favorite pink cardigan and throw it on over your white shirt. As you're hurrying out and grabbing your lunch, you stumble and knock your knee into an open lower cabinet that you had forgotten to close the previous night after pulling a pan from it to make dinner.

"Ouch!" You hiss in pain and rub the sore spot, although it does nothing to ease the ache. Then you grab your purse and run outside, almost forgetting to lock the door. But you remember just in time and clumsily lock it before rushing down the stairs leading to the parking lot of your apartment complex.

Your best friend, Mina, is laughing. You can see her through the windshield as she waves to you. Lifting a hand to wave back, you don't realize in time that your arms are full. You drop your lunchbox and have to crouch to get it again, only taking up even more of your time.

But Mina finds it hilarious and tells you so as soon as you slide into the car and fumble with your seatbelt to get it buckled.

"Honestly, ___. I can't believe you're still single. If I wasn't straight as a board, I'd be head over heels for you and all your shenanigans." She states in a matter-of-fact tone as she pulls out of the parking spot.

A blush creeps up your neck and you try to laugh it off, "D-Don't be silly." You whisper, turning your gaze outside to look at the fluffy white clouds decorating the sky beautifully. You smile and lean your forehead against the glass as you imagine lying on a soft cloud, just drifting in the air.

"If you c-could go anywhere at all, where would y-you go?" You ask Mina suddenly, turning to her. Her eyes are focused on the road but she bites her lip in thought at your question. "Mm, probably Italy. What about you?" She's used to your sudden questions and ramblings, so she smiles when you start to go off.

"I'd wanna go up in the c-clouds. I wanna sit on one and maybe even see a r-rainbow up close! I wonder if I could slide down the rainbow..." Your brows furrow in deep thought. "Or would I f-fall?" You turn to her again and she glances over to see your signature puppy dog eyes that you use when you are either confused, upset, or want something.

Mina turns back to the road, a tiny ache in her heart that she hides with a bright smile, "Girl, you would ride that rainbow straight down into a pot of gold!"

"Really?" Your eyes widen and you feel your heart lift at the image.

She nods and you giggle happily, "You can come w-with me, Mina." You say confidently, your gaze turning back to the sky. "We can sleep in the clouds and slide down rainbows for the rest of f-forever."

"Sounds like a deal."

By the time Mina pulls up to the school, you've discussed everything you'd do up in the clouds and what you'd eat when you're hungry (stardust, you've decided, is the best meal anyone could eat.)

You unbuckle and gather your things. Then you remember something and turn back to Mina, "Oh yeah. W-When are you leaving on your business trip?" You ask a tinge of sadness in your voice.

"This weekend," Mina says solemnly. "I'm sorry I won't be able to drive you for a while. I'll be gone for a month this time."

That makes your heart sting but you manage a small smile, "D-Don't worry about me. I can walk! I'm gonna m-miss you though."

"I'll miss you too, buttercup. We'll hang out this Friday night before I leave the next day. How about that?" Mina asks kindly.

You nod enthusiastically and she smiles, "Ok, get your butt in there before you're late! The bell rings in half an hour and you can't be late on a Monday." She urges you and you nod, hopping out of the car and thanking her again for the ride, reassuring her that you'll walk home from work today.

You blow her a kiss and she laughs as you turn and hurry into the school.

You're all set up only a few minutes before the kids are supposed to arrive, so you go onto Pinterest and look through your fairytale boards, feeling a little spark of joy in your chest.

A couple of minutes later, the kids start streaming through the door, greeting you with the same amount of enthusiasm as you greet them. Your kiddos love you so much that all the other teachers are jealous and they let you know it every day. Of course, you have the sweetest kindergarteners and they're always the best for you.

"Hello, Teacher! Good morning Miss ___! Teacher, look at my new haircut!"

"Hi, Jina! Hello M-Minhhyuk! Kun, your new haircut l-looks so good!" All the kids have bright smiles on their faces by the time they've settled in their seats.

You always start the day off by getting everyone to stand and do a few stretches, then you sing the nursery rhymes you learned yesterday and start learning a new one. You honestly have as much fun as the kids during the school day.

"Ok, l-little ducklings, have a seat!" You get their attention and they immediately oblige. Next, is the alphabet that you guys have been working on since the beginning of the year. Every little one sings it perfectly all the way through and you give them a round of applause and they each get a little punch in their reward cards.

The rest of the day goes by smoothly, with only one temper tantrum thrown and that was resolved quickly.

It's nearing the end of the school day and the kids are all playing during their free time. You're sitting with Ae-Cha, a small and fairly quiet girl, playing with colorful blocks; the both of you competing to see who can build the highest tower. You've learned that she responds well to playing games when there isn't too much talking involved.

You're constantly glancing around the room to make sure everyone is safe and playing nicely and you're always pleased. They've all improved so much since the beginning of school back in September. It's June now and they've all learned their alphabet and how to play nicely with their new friends, along with so many other things. They've really made you so proud this year. You can even hear them reciting the alphabet and nursery rhymes to each other as they play.

Your heart warms at the sound of tiny voices filling the room as they sing. Then you glance at the clock and realize the bell will be ringing in a few minutes. So, you declare Ae-Cha the winner with her foot-high tower of blocks and she beams proudly. Then, you get up and clap three times, "One, two, th-three! Eyes on me!" You singsong, then smile when the kids immediately respond by clapping twice and shouting "One, two! Eyes on you!"

"G-Great attention today, everyone! Alright, the bell will ring soon. Who can tell me w-what that means? What are we doing n-now?" A few little hands go up and you point to the little boy that raised his first, "Yes, Joon Woo?"

"We...Uhm...time to clean up toys...Uhm..." You smile to encourage him and he finishes cutely, "Time uh, to clean up our toys and pack bags."

"Yes! Thank you, Joon Woo. It is t-time for us to clean up and make sure our bags are packed up and ready for h-home!"

The kids start to pick up their toys as you put on the cleaning song that you play every day for them. You all sing along until the room is all tidied and their bags are packed with their homework papers.

You always give them little mazes to do for homework to get their little brains to learn to concentrate, along with instructions on what to draw to show the class the next day. Today, their homework is an extremely easy maze, a coloring page with the alphabet and instructions to draw themselves doing their favorite activity. The kids always love drawing pictures and sharing them with the class and it's a good ice breaker for the shy ones at the beginning of the day.

You always have less and easier homework for the kids on Mondays and Fridays, it just seems fair to you that way. You also feel like it's good for kids to express themselves and be able to share what they like and dislike. You've found drawing helps with communication and creativity for the kids in your class.

The sound of the bell ringing makes a few of you jump, then you hurry to the door. "Alright, ducklings! T-Time to line up!" A few of the kids make quacking sounds as they line up, giggling and talking to their friends.

You smile and open up the door, holding it as the kids walk out in a straight line, some of them still quacking like little ducks.

You lead the kids to the front of the school and make sure they get into the correct line for the bus if they take it. You wave goodbye to them as the kids that take the bus climb on and they run to a window to wave back to you.

The rest of the kids that are left are soon picked up by their parents or siblings. You wave to Ae-Cha, the last student to be picked up. She smiles shyly and waves back before hurrying after her big sister.

After that, you go back to your classroom and finish a few things before packing up to go home. As you're leaving your classroom, you run into one of the other teachers coming from his own room.

"Oh, h-hello Mr. B-Baek!" You bow, missing the ugly sneer on his face as you smile brightly at him. He pushes his glasses further up his nose as he scrutinizes you with his beady little eyes. "You don't belong here, Miss ___." He snaps.

You look at him in confusion, "I-I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"I've waited the entire school year to say this to you. But now that we are nearing the end, I think you should know that you have no business being a teacher at this school. You ought to make the right decision to discontinue your work here." Mr. Baek watches your face fall with a sick sense of satisfaction.

"B-But, why?" You ask, still not understanding.

"First of all, you're inexperienced. You just got out of college last year, am I right?"

You nod uncertainly.

"You're still a child. Why should a twenty-two-year-old girl come marching in here and take a spot that should have been given to someone with more experience? And especially someone like you." He glares at you before turning on his heel and walking away briskly.

Someone like me? What does he mean by that?

You watch after him, feeling a tiny pinch in your chest. You aren't sure what he means, but whatever he's talking about, it sounds like he believes you shouldn't have become a teacher at all. At this school or another. You'll have to ask Mina later because you really have no idea where his rant came from.

Is there something wrong with you becoming a teacher?

You shake your head and laugh it off, "He's probably just had a bad day." You tell yourself as you make your way out of the school.

As you walk home, you sing quietly along with the song in your headphones, a little skip to your step.

You never notice the dark figure across the street, his eyes trained on your every move.

One day earlier...

Jungkook groans as he tosses and turns in bed, searching for his phone to turn the alarm off. He finally finds it and hits dismiss, tossing the phone back down and rubbing his eyes with a tired yawn.

After another minute he sits up and looks out the window, frowning at the sun seeping in and pooling across his floor in a golden river. He stares at a small bird that lands on his windowsill until it flies away.

Jungkook yawns again and reaches up to rub his eyes for the second time. After a few minutes, he's finally able to drag himself out of bed and into the shower. He almost falls asleep again in there, but he manages to make it out after half an hour.

With a towel wrapped around his waist, he makes his way to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of soju that's sitting on his tiny dining table to take a small swig from, finishing off what he'd left last night after his third bottle right before he passed out in bed.

He sighs and grabs a bagel, searching for the cream cheese he swears he saw in his fridge last night. A small smile appears on his lips when he finds it. He snatches it and makes sloppy work of spreading it on his bagel before tossing the leftover trash onto his counter and plopping onto the couch, snarfing down the first half of his bagel in thirty seconds.

Jungkook sighs through his nose as he tiredly chews his breakfast, then he glances down and sees the file he'd left open on his coffee table last night. He swallows the bite he has in his mouth and leans forward to read over it.

Y/L/N Y/N...

Why is that name so familiar?

He shakes his head and flips the file closed, then he leans back on the couch, wanting to spend his Sunday relaxing before he has to get to work on this case. He isn't going to think about it again until tonight.

Jungkook settles down and lays his head on the back of the couch, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

He won't think about it.

Jungkook lays there for a minute, then he opens his eyes and lifts his head, glaring at the closed file on the little table.

He grunts in annoyance and drops the other half of his bagel onto the table, grabbing the file angrily and sitting back again. He opens it and starts to reread everything he's read many times since Friday. There's just something that has felt off since he met with Mr. Ling, but he can't put his finger on what it is.

Jungkook squints at the name he's read a thousand times.

Y/L/N...Y/N...

"Ugh." He rolls his eyes, frustrated at not being able to remember where he's heard that name before. Then he looks at the occupation.

Teacher at Sunshine Kindergarten.

His brows furrow again, much like they have each time he's read this. He's never had a hit on a teacher before, let alone a Kindergarten teacher. That's such an odd target...

Most of his targets in the past have been sleazy business owners, rapists, leaders of gangs that have terrorized neighborhoods for years, even other hitmen. He's never had a problem with those jobs, but there's something about this one that's telling him to be careful.

Maybe it's because he knows nothing about his client, except for the large sum of money he must have due to the pay he's been promised. Other clients of his were more than happy to explain why they wanted him to do what he does. They never paid him until after the job was done, either.

That leads Jungkook to believe that this guy (or girl) is desperate for his services, convincing him to do it with payment before and after. Almost as if Jungkook would refuse after he found out who the target was...

Jungkook flips the page and scrutinizes the picture of the target.

She's very simple looking, Jungkook thinks. The girl in the picture is wearing a white flowy skirt with a blue blouse that covers her whole arms and white chunky tennis shoes. Her hair is in a low ponytail and it seems like she has headphones in as she walks down the street. There's a tiny smile on her face as if she's thinking about something that makes her happy.

Jungkook doesn't find her particularly beautiful, but she isn't ugly either. She's just very...

Simple...

Jungkook shakes his head, his eyes going over the photo and the girl's smile one more time. Maybe she's a double agent? Or a part of the mafia disguising herself as a school teacher?

He can't figure it out.

It doesn't matter much though, the job seems simple enough and the pay is more than he's ever gotten. After looking through everything once more, Jungkook closes the file and grabs his bagel, quickly eating it before getting up to get dressed for the day.

That night, Jungkook lays out his outfit for the next day.

It's all black, but not suspicious-looking. After all these years, he's been able to design the perfect outfits to avoid attention being drawn to him and simple enough so that no one would think much of him if he were to catch anyone's attention.

It might seem simple, but he prides himself on being able to get each part of his job perfectly designed for each case he gets.

Heaven knows it's taken him years to accomplish.

After he's gotten that all figured out, he walks over to his closet and pulls out a small safe. Setting it on the bed, he swiftly unlocks it and looks inside. He pulls out a few things, examining each of them before he sets them one by one onto his bed. Once he's got the items all laid out, he steps back to look it all over.

"I should wait to decide..." Jungkook mumbles to himself. After a minute of staring at everything, he nods and gathers it all up, carefully putting it back into the safe and locking it tightly. Then he brings it back to his closet and shoves it into the darkest corner where it lives.

That can wait.

He pulls his phone out and checks the time.

11:45

"Damn it," Jungkook mutters. He had wanted to get some sleep earlier tonight since he would have to be awake early tomorrow.

He changes into some shorts, then he yanks his shirt off and immediately climbs into bed, not even bothering to shower or brush his teeth. He really couldn't care less with how tired he is. And he hasn't even started yet.

His alarm blares at an ungodly hour as Jungkook groans loudly, resisting the temptation to chuck his phone across the room.

"I hate Mondays." He mutters angrily, setting his phone back on the nightstand far from gracefully.

He miserably drags himself out of bed and into the shower, going through his morning motions almost like a robot. His brain isn't fully awake and it's just on autopilot right now.

An hour later, he's just finishing his coffee, his eyes no longer squinting in exhaustion. Jungkook unceremoniously drops his coffee cup into the sink, promising himself he'll clean it up later, then he sighs as he grabs his black boots, walking to the couch to sit and pull them on. After he's done lacing them up, he grabs the file he's been avoiding like the plague since yesterday morning.

He mutters to himself, looking at the name on the page.  

"I know that name."

Then he smacks his forehead to get himself to focus again. He stands up and folds the page with the girl's information and then her picture and tucks them into the inside pocket of his black jacket.

Time to get to work.

Jungkook spots the girl almost instantly, the second she steps out of a black car. He glances at the driver, but can only see a person with shoulder length black hair waving. The girl from the picture has a bunch of things in her arms as she blows a kiss to the short-haired driver.

Jungkook has been here since six-thirty in the morning and just as he was beginning to think she called in sick for work, he's finally gotten a chance to see this girl in person. She looks exactly as he remembers from her picture...plain.

She's even wearing the same white skirt and chunky tennis shoes, although this time she has a different top. Her hair is in a high ponytail this time.

"Well, ___. Nice to meet you." Jungkook mutters, watching closely.

After a moment, the black car drives away as the girl scurries into the school, tripping on the last step before straightening herself out again, then disappearing from his sight.

Huh.

Jungkook stares at the door for another minute, then he makes his way to the stores nearby, knowing he's gonna have to wait until the girl leaves. School for the young kids typically gets out at around three-thirty. So, he'll have to be back here around then.

He's definitely going to need to find something to do to kill time.

Jungkook heaves a sigh of relief when he hears the school bell finally ring.

He hurries from the clothes store he was browsing and down the street a block until he's almost across the street from the school. He finds a good spot where he can sift through some newspapers at a little stand and still have an eye on the school.

After a minute, he sees a long line of tiny children coming out from the school. The girl is with them and smiling brightly. Jungkook thinks he can hear some of the kids quacking like ducks. He tries not to look puzzled as he goes back to talking to the person working the paper stand. Jungkook makes small talk with the old man, still keeping an eye on the girl across the street as she waves to each child that leaves.

If she's some mafia boss disguised as a kindergarten teacher, she's one hell of a good actress.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" The old man inquires curiously.

Jungkook laughs softly and shakes his head, "No. I've been so busy with my work I never got the chance to date."

The man nods knowingly. They chat a bit more and Jungkook finds himself trying to balance talking to the man and watching the girl.

"Well, did you want to buy a paper for the day?"

Jungkook turns his gaze back to the old man and nods, "Yes. Two, please. My neighbor would probably enjoy one as well."

The old man laughs and nods, taking the money Jungkook hands him and giving him two papers, "What a kind young man you are. Someday you'll find a lovely young lady, don't you worry, son. You will realize that work is important, but love is even more so."

Jungkook just laughs and thanks the man, then he opens the paper as he slowly starts walking, pretending to read.

He stops at a bench and sits down to wait. The girl went back into the school a few minutes ago, hopefully, she won't be in there long.

Luck seems to be with him today, because, after only about five minutes, Jungkook sees a familiar white skirt flowing as she skips down the steps of the school.

He folds his paper carefully, tucking it into his back pocket. The girl puts little earbuds in and immediately starts to mouth the words of whatever song she's listening to. Jungkook tugs his black baseball cap down a little more as he follows on the other side of the street.

The girl has a bag decorated with cupcakes and cookies that bounces up and down as she dances a little.

What is she, twelve?

Jungkook watches in confusion as the girl stops to pet a dog, giggling when the puppy licks her hand. She straightens up, then after another minute, she seems to get distracted by something else.

Jungkook looks carefully and notices she's picked up a flower that was laying on the ground, seemingly trampled on. She gently holds it in her hands as she continues on her way. It goes on like this for the next fifteen minutes, the girl waving to people and smiling almost the whole way.

By the time she is walking up the steps to her apartment, Jungkook is dying to just get back home. That must have been the longest most annoying walk he's ever taken while tracking someone. The girl had stopped over twenty times, distracted by something else each time, he's sure of it.

Just to be sure, Jungkook lingers around the apartment building a little longer, but when it seems apparent that the girl is going to be staying there, he finally heads home.

Geez, Jungkook thinks in annoyance as he climbs the stairs that lead to his own apartment. His head is spinning with so many questions while he unlocks his door and yanks his boots off with a groan.

But when he plops down onto his bed in his tiny studio apartment, he just stares at the ceiling, his mind suddenly blank apart from one question.

Who in the hell would put a hit on this girl?

Copyright © @writemywaytoyourheart 2021

Next

a/n: I hope you guys are liking the setup so far, thank you for all the positive reactions from the prologue!

[hikarimiyanaga]

Loving You (Part 2)

Part 1

Because I just realized how short the first part was... and despite being hell week for me I'm going to give an update because I expected this fic to be just under 10,000 words but now it's double that amount... I did not plan nor expect this... so here we are! I had a solid plotline... and everything just kinda derived off that.

Oh well, I love Wanda anyways.

Warning: Omegaverse. Beta!Reader x Omega!Wanda Maximoff. Curse Words.

Taglist : @mitchiesdungeon

You yawn as you read the last chapter of your latest novel. Your phone pings and you furrow your eyebrows�� Who knows your number? You haven’t given it to anyone ove-

“The goddamn bookmark.” You groan as you remember. Right. That bookmark was pretty important to you until high school that you’ve written your number on it. You finish your novel before getting your phone. It was an unknown number.

Unknown: Pretty smooth.

You: I forgot that my number was there.

You save her number nonetheless.

Wanda: Oh. Still. This works out for me.

You: Why?

Wanda: I get to talk to you even if you avoid me.

You sigh.

You: You still want to hang out with me?

Wanda: Desperately. I love talking to you.

You blush and gulp. You decide to tell her the truth.

You: I love talking to you too.

Wanda: *Heart eyes*

Wanda: See? Let’s eat lunch tomorrow.

You: No.

Wanda: Why not?

You: People will avoid you.

Wanda: Don’t care.

You: You should.

Wanda: Why should I?

Wanda groans in frustration. Why were you so stubborn? Why can’t you just fall for her charms?

You: Just because.

You: Don’t try to eat with me tomorrow.

You: I won’t be in the cafeteria.

You: Goodnight.

You charge your phone and sigh. You like her. You really do but you can’t drag her into the shitty treatment of a Beta. Moreover, she was an Omega. Omegas tended to treat Betas more harshly than Alphas did. You shudder as you think of last year. You clutch your chest as you cry silently. Never again.

-

You yawn as you trudge through the halls again… maybe reading a long novel into the night wasn’t such a good idea. You go to your locker and get your books for the day.

“You still haven’t told me why.” You close your locker in shock and flinch as Wanda frowns at you. You sigh and run a hand through your hair. “Did I wake you up last night?”

“No. I was reading a novel.” You answer quickly and walk away.

“Come on, tell me.” She follows you and you groan as you drag her into a bathroom.

“It’s because you’re an Omega!” You shout and grit your teeth. “The people here will eat you alive if you hang out with me.” You say more softly and run a hand through your hair. “The Omegas will think that you’ve betrayed them and settled with a lowly Beta.”

“I don-“ She reasons but you glare at her.

“Stop being a stubborn idiot! Do you want to get bullied!?” She stops as she sees the sadness in your eyes.

“They bullied you?” She whispers and reach out to you but you pull away as if she’s too hot and you just got burned. You take a deep breath and hide your trembling hand.

“Just stop trying to hang out with me. It won’t do you any good.” You leave her and she clutches her chest. What have they done to you?

-

You eat alone on the bleachers and read.

“Here you are.” You flinch and look down on the voice. It was Pietro. What could he possibly want? Wanda was the only one wanting to hang out with you. The only one trying to be your friend. What was her twin brother doing here? At your hiding place that you chose so she would finally get the clue and leave you alone.

“Wha-“ He hops on and sits besides you. What’s with the Maximoff siblings and never bothering to ask for permission? You glare at him and stop reading. Damn it, you were at a really good part too.

“You’re the Beta that my sister wants to hang out with.” You gulp and nod in confirmation. “She’s avoiding me and was trying to find you earlier.”

“Did she eat yet?” You ask, worry settling in your stomach. Where is she? He sighs and settles in besides you.

“I don’t know.” You stand and get your bag. You stand and jump down from the bleachers. “Where are you-“

“I’ll find her!” You shout and run away from him. What the hell was she thinking?

-

It took at least 15 minutes but you found her reading on a secluded bench. You sigh as you approach her.

“Why are you so stubborn?” You ask and she closes her book.

“I’m not stubborn, I just don’t want to be with Pietro and his new friends.” She looks at you and your ragged appearance. Did you come looking for her? She smiles at the thought of you running around everywhere just for her.

“Aren’t they your friends too?”

“No. Not when they judge someone based on their second gender.” You sigh and sit besides her. You hold out a sandwich. She smiles then takes it. She takes a bite of it and beams. You get your book from your bag and read.

“We can hang out.” She turns to you with shining eyes. You sigh. “Only in places like this or the-“

“Library.” You both say and you hum. You notice that there were some sauce on the corner of her lips so you wipe it with your thumb. Wanda gulps as you lick it up. She blushes even more when you look at her.

“Stop being a messy eater.” You settle in the seat. Wanda just stares for a few more seconds before eating again.

-

You were in your last AP Class when Wanda texts you. You sigh in relief as you don’t hear your phone ping. Thank god, you remembered to turn it into silent mode earlier. You discreetly open it.

Wanda: I’m in the library, where are you?

You discreetly reply to her.

You: Still in class. Syl.

You hide your phone in your bag quickly when you saw the teacher glance at your direction.

“Miss Y/LN?” You answer the question of the teacher and she nods as you gave the correct one.

It took at least half an hour more before the class ended. You were packing up your things when someone hovers over you.

“So you really do take all of the AP Classes.” You look up and gulp. It was Angel. “You have more than me too.” You nod.

“I-I have to go.” You quickly leave and go to the library. You go to the table that you occupied yesterday and Wanda was there. She was reading again and you sit besides her.

“Hey.” She greets and you hum.

“What are you reading?”

“One of your recommendations from the bookmark.”

“Which one?”

“Digital Fortress.”

“Ah. Dan Brown.”

“Yeah. Most of his works are in here.”

“That’s because I got addicted to his works at one point.”

“So what’s your favorite genre?”

“Definitely mystery and thriller. I read most investigation cases.”

“True crime?”

“Yep. I love watching their documentaries too.” She smiles and you get a book from your backpack.

“How about you? What’s your favorite genre?”

“Definitely Sci-fi.”

“Ah. Then you’ve read The Giver?”

“Yeah. You have?”

“Yep.” Before you knew it, the two of you have a two-hour discussion on the book.

-

You were laughing with Wanda when you notice the clock on the wall and pale.

“Shit.” You quickly stuff your novel into your bag.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come on.” You both get outside and you sigh. “Mom is going to get angry if I’m late.”

“Oh. Okay. Sorr-“

“Don’t be, It was fun hanging out with you.” Wanda beams at that and you give her a smile. “Do you have any ride? Or should I walk you home?” Wanda crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at you.

“What? Because I’m an Omega?” You roll your eyes and huff.

“No. Because you’re my friend, you idiot. I worry if I leave you here alone and your house is too far away.”

“What if my house is close?” You smirk and turn away from her.

“Then I’ll be goi-“ She grabs your bag and pulls you. You turn to her with a smile and she flicks your forehead.

“Idiot.” You rub your forehead.

“So what is it?”

“I’m waiting for Pietro to finish his Track and Field training. He’s my ride.”

“Oh yeah. Your twin is an omega too, right?”

“Yep.”

“Any other siblings then?”

“No. Just us two.”

“How do you handle heats then?”

“Why?”

“Just curious. Both of my older sisters are Alphas and Mom always take care of Ma so I-“ You blush and look away. “I don’t know that much about Omegas.”

“Ah. We typically use a jacket of dad’s and drink suppressants.” You scrunch your face at that.

“How many times do you take it?”

“Typically, twice a day but if it gets bad then thrice, if it’s really bad we double the amount.”

“Damn, that’s a lot of chemicals in your body.” She shrugs.

“The price of a heat.”

“What about your scent?”

“My dad’s clothing.”

“Ah. That’s it?”

“Typically, yeah. Why?”

“Nothing. Just sometimes I can smell some Omegas that have heat even though they’re already wearing an Alpha’s clothing.”

“Whoa. Betas can’t usually smell them.” You shrug.

“Wanda!” Pietro calls out and you two turn at him.

“And that’s my cue.”

“See you again tomorrow?” You smile at her and nod.

“Send me a text again.” You wave her goodbye then leave.

When you get home, your mom is waiting with her arms crossed and you gave a nervous laugh.

“I’m home?”

“Where have you been? It’s-“

“Zale.” You Ma calls out and both you and your mom turns to her. “Don’t pressure Y/N.”

“I was hanging out with a friend and lost track of time. Sorry.”

“A friend?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Alright, then. Go get changed and come back in fifteen minutes.”

“Thanks, Ma.” You quickly go upstairs, and Dahlia sits beside Zale. They look at each other and sigh in relief.

“She’s making friends.”

“Thank god, I thought she would be a loner for all of her high school days.”

-

You sit down beside Zale and Dahlia gives you a plate of food.

“Thanks, Ma.” You smile at her and she gives you a pat on the head.

“So, who’s your friend?” Your mom asks after a few minutes and you stop. Dahlia hits Zale but Zale just shushes her.

“What?”

“You’re friend that you hung out with?”

“Ah. Her name’s Wanda. She’s new in town and a sophomore just like me.”

“That’s good, Y/N.” You nod and Zale pats your head.

“She sounds like a nice friend.” You grin at them.

“She is!”

-

You’ve been watching a docuseries again when your phone rings.

“Y/N?” You sit and furrow your brows.

“Val? Why are-“

“Can you come pick me up? Please?” You assure her that you will and you wear your jacket. You can’t help but worry, why was she there? What happened? Why did she want you to pick her up?

“Where are you?”

“Club Prestige.” The defeat in her voice only makes you quicken your actions.

“Okay. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Thank you.” You hang up and get your mom’s car keys. Both of your parents are watching a movie and looks at you. You inform them before leaving.

“I’m picking Val up.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I don’t know either. I’ll go to her.”

“Drive safely, Y/N, please.”

“Okay. Thanks!” You quickly go to the garage and open the gate. You get inside of your mom’s car and drive after the gate opens up. You got to Club Prestige in under 8 minutes.

“Val? Whe-“ You hear soft sobbing from an alley and see your sister sitting on the ground while hugging her knees. “Val?” She looks up to you and sniffles.

“Y/N?” You kneel besides her and nod.

“It’s me.” She hugs you and wails.

“S-she was kissing another girl, Y/N. I-I thought she wa-was my soulmate.” She stutters and you rub her back to comfort her.

-

You drive your sister back home after calming her down. Your parents, thankfully, have gone to bed already. And even though, you technically still have school tomorrow, you decide to stay up late to comfort Valerie.

“You want anything? Ice cream? Cake?”

“Oreos and strawberry ice cream? Do we have them?”

“I’ll look and even if we don’t I’ll bike to get some.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” You smirk at her. “You’re my sister, Val and I happen to take broken heart seriously.” She gives you a smile and a nod.

“Thank you.” You go to the refrigerator and sigh in relief. The two things she wanted are both there and while you really would ride your bike to get them, you preferred to just stay inside. You get them and two spoons. You give her them and get the remote.

“The Owl House?”

“Please.” She gives you a grateful smile then turns to the tv. You spend all night marathoning the series.

-

“Y/N.” Zale shakes you to no avail. Both you and Valerie slept on the living room. “Little one! You still have school in an hour.” That woke you up and you look around, confused at your surroundings. This isn’t your room.

“Honey, you’re in the living room. You slept here with Val.” Dahlia fixes Valerie’s position on the couch and you stretch your body.

“What time is it?”

“6 am.”

“Okay. I’ll take a shower then.” You get up and Dahlia goes to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Zale cleans up the mess that you and Valerie left on the coffee table.

“Morning, little one.” You give a kiss to Dahlia’s cheek as you move pass her and sit on the chair besides Zale. She gives you a plate of pancakes and you thank her before eating.

“Sis still isn’t awake?” You look at the living room and can faintly see her arm.

“Afraid not. She’s going to miss her classes.” You scrunch up your face.

“It’s Thursday, Ma, she doesn’t have classes today.” Your parents look at you and you raise an eyebrow at them. “Did you two forget?” They look away and blush while you smirk at them. Dahlia sits beside you and pat your head. You finish eating breakfast and get your jacket.

“Bye, Mom, Ma!”

“Bye, Y/N!” Your sister stirs but stay asleep. You leave your house and go to school.

-

You were getting books from your locker when a voice interrupts you.

“Whoa! You smell like an Alpha!” You glare at Jason, one of the Betas who are friendly with you and would sometimes talk to you. “Good for you, Y/LN!” Wanda frowns at that. You really do smell like an Alpha. You did spend the whole night wearing it while you were with Valerie.

“Asshole. It’s my sister’s scent.” You close your locker and Wanda sighs in relief at your words.

“But we don’t get heats?”

“So? Can’t I spend time with my sister without it being her protecting my scent?” Jason holds up his hands in surrender and you roll your eyes. You get to your first class.

-

Lunch rolls around and you buy some breads and a couple of juices before going into the courtyard. You head to the secluded bench and she was there reading.

“Have you eaten yet?” Wanda looks at you and smiles. She shakes her head and you sigh. You give her half of the things you bought. She thanks you and she puts her book in her bag before getting her wallet.

“How much do I owe you?” You raise an eyebrow as you open up the bread you bought.

“For what?”

“Lunch?” You give her a flick to the forehead and sigh. She rubs the spot you flicked before hiding her wallet.

“Nothing. Go buy tomorrow.”

“And you’ll wait here?” She asks with shining eyes and you sigh.

“Yes.” You eat with her and she smiles.

-

Classes pass by and you meet Wanda again in the library.

“Hey.” You greet as you sit on the chair besides her. She looks at you and catches your sister’s scent… how long will it last?

“How long does an Alpha’s scent last?” She asks and you shrug.

“No idea but as long as someone’s scent isn’t too overbearing or too much then it can last long.” You see her look at your jacket. “Can you still smell my sis?”

“Yes. It’s faint now, unlike this morning.” You hum.

“Betas’ scents are like that. Not overbearing or too much.” She nods.

“I like yours much better though.” You gulp and blush at her words.

“What?”

“Your scent? It’s more calming and soothing to me.” You get even redder. Nobody has ever told you that. Hell, most Omegas and Alphas ignore you because your scent is just average. Nothing special like theirs. Wanda is the first one to ever compliment it.

“T-thanks.” She smiles as you clear your throat and read your book. You really are falling for her charms.

-

A/N:

Hell week is coming after me. Send help.

After I die from my finals maybe someone can summon my soul to hopefully finish this.

Jokes aside... I had another motivation to post this... since one of my favorite authors just followed me and... my heart died? I just really love their stories then they followed and I just.

Thank you, really.

[bullyhunter--69]

You're all I have, Bird Brain

Pairing: Big Brother Hawks x Little Sister Reader

Summary: You have to sit back and watch your brother fight for his life on TV, hoping everything turns out okay

T/W: descriptions of a fight and crying

A/N: I got this idea while doing my makeup and rushed to write it because I loved it so much-- I hope you guys enjoy! 🖤

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A frantic knock on your dorm door took your attention away from the anime you were watching on Netflix, causing you to quickly get up and swing it open. Before you could greet whoever happened to be interrupting your binge watching, something wrapped around you with a worried whimper. Dark Shadow..?

"(Y/N), you need to come quick to the common room, Hawks is in a bad fight-" It was Tokoyami, and his voice matched the whimpers coming from Dark Shadow. They were the only ones out of your whole class who knew the full truth about you, and that's only because Hawks had scouted the both of you to his hero agency for the internships class 1-A had done. You had sworn Tokoyami and Dark to secrecy easily, the trust built between you 3 was something anyone could see.

Everyone could see why the now number 2 hero chose Tokoyami, but many were confused why you were scouted as well. The explanation you gave was, "Maybe he just likes my quirk? That's all I can think of." In all reality, you knew exactly why.

He was your big brother and loved you to death, and you were super ecstatic to work under him.

Your love for him wasn't unknown, your friends just thought he was your favorite hero. You had so much merch of him that Izuku's All Might collection was almost surpassed, and you were always seen in a Hawks hoodie.

The aforementioned Hawks hoodie is exactly what you had on now as you basically threw yourself down the stairs and onto the common room couch, right beside Kirishima and basically on top of Bakugo. The blonde was about to yell at you until he saw the tears already streaming down your face. The scene playing out on the TV in front of you was terrifying.

This absolutely gigantic Nomu was tearing into Endeavor and Hawks, regenerating after every blow the number 1 and 2 pro heros landed on it. It was talking-- strategizing against them. This was unlike any Nomu any hero had fought yet and your brother was one of the only 2 heros on scene.

Hawks had already lost a majority of his feathers from saving citizens and aiding the flaming hero at his side, and it was obvious that Endeavor was reaching the end of his fire power too.

Your entire body shook as your hands clasped themselves tightly around the red feather necklace you wore every day. It was one of Hawk's actual feathers- something Keigo gifted you once you got accepted into UA to show how proud he was of you. He could still control this one, but he never did since he viewed it as yours now.

Everyones eyes shot to you as a struggled gasp left your lips and you moved to sit on your knees in front of the couch. Hawks got hit, hard. He fell onto the top of the nearest building, next to no feathers left on his back. He was barely moving and his glasses were busted in half, his coat ripped up and forehead bleeding.

"K-keigo.."

Your eyes were huge, still streaming tears down your face. The fight your brother was putting up for his life had your attention fully captured, so when a hand was placed on your shoulder you flinched and finally let a sob out. You hadn't heard Aizawa enter the building, coming to check on you and Todoroki.

"(Y/N), it's gonna be okay." Aizawa pulled you into a tight hug as you continued to sob, fingertips numb from grasping at the feather so tightly. Finally, when you turned your blood-shot eyes back to the TV, Endeavor gave a final hit to the Nomu. He blasted it to pieces and was finally coming back down from the sky.

You were tense and silent until you saw both heros were being guided towards separate ambulances, your breath heavy as the cameras cut to just Hawks. He was talking to a paramedic and a police officer, beaten and bloody but alive.

When the officer was done with his questions, Hawks was seen pulling his phone out and calling someone. The news reported commented out of curiosity that it could be a lover, and everyone in the room around you besides Aizawa and Tokoyami assumed it was to contact his agency-- but you knew exactly who it was.

Your phone started to ring as soon as the pro heros phone touched his ear and you jumped for it at lighting speed. At this point, everyone was beyond confused.

Mineta made a joke about you having an affair with the hero, which was quickly cut short by a punch from both Kirishima and Bakugo. After the purple perv was silenced, nobody dared to say a word as all eyes fell on you.

With shakey hands you hit the green accept button and held the phone to your ear, small sniffles still escaping you. "K-Keigo, please tell me you're okay.."

Nobody could hear the voice on the other side of the phone but when you finally took a deep breath and used your sleeve to wipe your tears away, they assumed everything was okay. You continued your conversation for a minute before a loud laugh was heard from the other person on the phone, and this seemed to set you off.

"Keigo Takami, you know what I've ALWAYS said about using up all of your feathers in battle! It's not funny!"

This confirmed for your classmates who was on the other line, but not why you were the person that the number 2 hero had chosen to call.

"Just tell me what hospital they're taking you to, Bird Brain, and if it's the same one they're taking Endeavor to as well so I can let Shoto know. I'd rather beat your ass in person than over the phone for that ridiculous comment you just made-- Hey, shut up, I'm tired of always hearing about how great of a job Endeavor did when you almost got yourself killed!"

You had stood up at this point and were getting your shoes on, moving to the kitchen after your laces were tied.

"Just.." A groan left your mouth as you pinched the bridge of your nose. "Please, be careful next time, Kei. I dont know what I'd do if something really bad happened to you. You're all I have, Bird Brain."

You collected up some snacks and drinks in a bag from the common room fridge, as well as some cookies Sato had made earlier that day for everyone to take to him. You knew Keigo hated hospital food.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, dont to anything stupid before I get there. You'll have more than just some missing feathers to worry about if you do. I'll see you when I get there. I love you Kei, bye."

At this point, all eyes were glued to you as you now stood in front of Aizawa and the entirety of your class. Your eyes landed on Shoto, though. "Sho, your dad is at the same hospital Hawks is at and I'm heading over now. Would you like to join me?"

Todoroki was stunned, to say the least. His, as well as everyone else's, minds were running a million miles an hour trying to figure out what had just happened on the phone between you and Hawks.

"He's in room 203, and as far as Keigo knows, He's not in horrible condition. Just really worn out with some wounds that wont take very long to heal. It more so took his energy than anything."

Your attention turned back to Aizawa and before you could even ask, he was already nodding and had placed his hand on your shoulder. "You can go see him, just be safe. We dont know if there's more of those Nomu out there and you saw how big of a fight Endeavor and Hawks had to put up. Call us if anything happens."

You gave Aizawa a big hug and a thank you before practically sprinting out the door.

Aizawa turned to his class as they sat in shock, Todoroki being the first to speak up. "Why did-" He was cut off by his teacher, who had his arms crossed as he surveyed everyones faces.

"Put it all together. 1. (Y/N) got in by recommendation. 2. (Y/N)'s last name is Takami. 3. He scouted her without her having bird like powers similar to Tokoyami. 4. (Y/N) is also always talking about him. Its obvious, Hawks is her big brother. I thought you all knew already."

Tokoyami spoke up before anyone else could. "I knew, but she didn't want everyone else to know. She didn't want to be known as just his little sister. She wanted her own name out in the world."

This caused the class to quietly talk to eachother about how it all made sense, and questioning others about if they had known. Aizawa walked up to Todoroki and laid a hand on his shoulder like he had done to you prior. "You're welcome to go see your dad if you'd like. Like (Y/N) said, He's in room 203 in the nearest hospital."

-----------------------------------------------------------

[masterthespianduchovny]

The counter argument to people being against Sam/Rebecca for legitimate reasons are claims that Sam is being “infantilized.”

These age gap conversations in general are difficult to have because one side won’t acknowledge that just because two people are adults doesn’t mean they are in the same place emotionally and mentally. And this is a very important thing to note.

Someone being 18, a legal adult in America (I think you can date adults at 16 in the UK), doesn’t mean they are able to date a significantly older person, say 38, without a problem. Because, more times than not, which is an understatement, there’s a lot of fucking problems in an age gap relationship even if the older person isn’t dating the younger for nefarious reasons.

It is not infantilizing Sam or any young adult to say, “hey, this relationship may be detrimental to them because of their age.” That is just…facts.

Many people on tumblr and other SM sites often talk about how they still feel like kids at 22 and are still figuring life at, despite having jobs, kids, and shit. Despite being in full blown relationships, these young adults don’t feel like adults and that’s because you aren’t magically mature just because you’ve reached an arbitrary age to be declared a legal adult.

You just aren’t.

And being mature in one aspect of your life or regarding emotional development doesn’t mean you’re mature in other aspects. At 17, I was mature enough to understand this.

Because maturity isn’t just something you obtain like your degree or license, it’s an ongoing, ever evolving thing.

It’s life experience. As in how you learn and grow from it.

Acknowledging that someone doesn’t have significant life experience isn’t infantilizing them, it’s giving an important perspective to a crowd of who is essentially arguing “age ain’t nothing, but a number.”

If you’re all for an 18 year old dating a 38 year old, why not a 16 year old and a 36 year. It’s only a two year difference, right? And what if that 16 year old is really mature? Most would have an issue with that. People are justifying a significantly older person dating a younger person due to legality and not they are actually mature and on the same level. But there’s not much difference between a 16 and 18 year old or an 18 year old and a 20 year old. But guess what, there is a significant difference between people between the ages of 18-22 dating people a decade or more.

I literally just turned 30 last week and, even when I was 25, after a while I could tell when I was speaking to a teen or someone in their early 20s. Because, whether or not you get along with them, there are just some things that, because they haven’t had enough life experience, they don’t have the nuance or perspective to engage with you a certain way and this is even on a non romantic level.

And, in some cases, the younger person is more “mature” not because they’re actually that mature, but because the older person is that immature.

So before I get into the issues with Sam and Rebecca, let me give you four examples of age gaps relationships:

1. A friend of mine dating an older man when she was 23 and he was 38. She was a manager at a gym and he was a gym member. They would have sex and hang out, but she wanted commitment. Whenever she asked him about it, he’d get weird on her. After finally breaking it off months later, he “loved” her and finally wanted commitment, but she’d moved on. While she dated him, I told her my two cents on the situation and left it alone. Last month, she recalled this conversation as she groaned in displeasure hearing about an age gap relationship. She’s now skeptical of older people dating significantly younger people.

2. A friend of mine was 18 dating a 28 year old. We all worked at a pizzeria. He watched her on the cameras from the back when he became a manager—got mad if she talked to male coworkers. Used to gaslight her, controlled her via manipulation, and other gross toxic shit. After emotionally tormenting her for a year or so and pressuring her to live with him, which her parents allowed due to some issues they didn’t want to exacerbate, he cheated on her. They’re broken up now. She was always stressed out while with him.

3. A girl got into her first and only relationship when she was 19 with a man who was 32. They’re now married 23 and 36. She wants to wait to have kids and on her birthday he gifted her baby clothes. Make of that what you will.

4. A girl, 22, dated her 37 year old professor. At 28, she feels like she’s outgrown him and is disturbed about how and when they got together. And one night she heard him advise his friends to date younger girls so they can mold them. Yeah…

Sure you have marriages that have age gaps that lasted, but even then, very few of those are actually healthy. The younger person is usually taking orders from the older partner, can’t do certain things, doesn’t have any true agency, skills to survive on their own, etc. What typically happens is after that person becomes older, they begin to question their relationship because what seemed okay when they were younger, is unsettling after becoming older.

Like I said, take out the nefarious shit, and there is still a significant life experience gulf between Sam and Rebecca and that is one of the many issues with this pairing. Despite what some romantics and media loves to say, “love does not conquer all.” Most of the marriages that end in divorce isn’t because they couple fell out of love, it’s due to finances. Love couldn’t conquer that. Some marriages end because one of them changed or they could’ve overcome their vast differences.

I’m not saying Sam and Rebecca are on a path for marriage or are even in love, they aren’t, however, they idea that just because they get along and have some things in common means it would be a great relationship is very shortsighted. There isn’t even enough significant interaction to prove this. Getting along on an app isn’t the same as connecting face to face. And none of this can overcome Rebecca’s life experience and, relatively speaking, Sam’s lack thereof.

And I’d argue that, on average, athletes tend to be immature because they live in such a bubble where people constantly kiss their ass. Which makes Sam look more mature than he probably is.

Even then, being with an older person ages you. This younger person misses out on so much, many of which they regret, because they’re trying to be mature enough for their older partner. They don’t want to seen as immature for doing young shit when that’s exactly their age range.

But let’s get into the real consequences for Sam here:

1. Sam has to keep his relationship a secret. The media will tear him up about dating/fucking the owner of the team. And so will fans. People love to mention he’s being infantilized because he’s young and black, how do you think that is going to go if anyone finds out about them? Racism, baby. He won’t suffer from sexism, however, they will question his place on the team and if he deserves to be there. This will taint him and even cause issues with his parents. So secret relationship it is.

2. If his teammates found out, this will fracture his relationship with them. Whether or not it’s true, Sam will be blamed for shit outside of his control. They’ll think he only got more playing time, more pay, or whatever because he’s fucking Rebecca. OR they’ll try to ask him for favors and get upset if he won’t do it. His team will think he’s getting favoritism and believe there is a power imbalance between them and Sam as a result. Don’t believe me, Google dynamics once students realize a classmate is dating their teacher or an employee is dating their boss. It usually doesn’t go over so well.

So even if the relationship is loving and healthy, Sam will suffer from being with Rebecca. Because if it's a secret, it’s going to bother him eventually that they have to sneak around and the anxiety of being caught. If it’s out in the open, he will suffer harassment, alienation, his play will suffer because his teammates probably won’t pass to him, etc.

Which leads to, 3: transferring teams. But how is that fair? Sam is developing well under ted and now that may delay his development and stock just so he can be with Rebecca? We want this young, black man to succeed, but his career will be kneecapped due to his relationship. Sam is serious about football and this would be a major blow to him.

Like I said, take out nefarious shit and this relationship is still detrimental to Sam. And even with a healthy relationship, there will still be a disconnect that will lead to their relationship ending because they are in two vastly different places in their lives.

That is not infantilizing Sam, that’s reality.

And, again, that power imbalance is massive. We saw how easy it was for Rebecca to send Jamie back to Man City. She has so much power, control, and influence over Sam’s career and livelihood. She can dictate how much or how little they offer to pay him during contract negotiations.

And this is the ship people are getting upset at others rightfully taking issue with?

It doesn’t even make sense for Rebecca to go along with this either. She played a part in Keeley breaking up with Jamie, which age, Jamie being younger, played a key part in it. She’s even disgusted by Rupert dating a significantly younger woman. I doubt her opinion centered on maturity. She’s not going to suddenly support this relationship if she found out that Bex is super mature.

Rebecca would stand to lose a lot of she were to get involved with Sam and others found out. She’d get dragged through the mud worse than she did after her divorce. She’s lose them support of her staff. And it would fuck up the relationship she has with her players.

Now some Sam/Rebecca supporters have called bullshit on people who are against this relationship, yet support Ted and Rebecca. They claim it’s the same power imbalance or that one exists.

1. It’s not the same power imbalance.

2. Yes, one does exist, but it’s not nearly as wide as it is with Sam and it wouldn’t destroy her either.

Ted has the authority to hire and fire people. He has the authority to facilitate trades, call up people, and send them down. He has a lot of influence that Sam does not. They aren’t equals, but there also isn’t a massive power disparity either.

Rebecca also can’t completely fuck over Ted like she can Sam if she went all scorned woman. Because, doing so, would entail her own demise. Even if you don’t include that, Ted is only attached to Richmond. He doesn’t care about having a career as a football coach in the ways coaches from non US countries do. He can go back and have a career as an American football coach and still be massively successful. Or, if Rebecca did want to fuck him over, he has that bomb as to why he was hired. Ted doesn’t even have to play that card for it to be played by either Higgins or Keeley.

Because one of them will if they feel it’s necessary.

We have no clue what’s going to happen with this storyline. But the idea that people against Sam and Rebecca being a thing, romantically or sexually, being fueled by racism or sexism is misguided, hypocritical, and flat out wrong. If this entanglement is pursued, it stands to harm Sam from various angles and that’s MY objection.

People think this is all about Ted/Rebecca when, personally, I’d lose (some) respect for Rebecca if she got involved with Sam. That would taint her for me. Because let’s be real, many of us are grossed out by Rupert dating, marrying, and then impregnating Bex. Yet, some are okay with Rebecca and Sam getting together and those who are against it are sexist? And I truly believe the same people supporting this ship are also grossed out by Rupert’s relationship.

How is Rupert’s relationship gross, but we shouldn’t obsess over age with Rebecca and Sam? People say Sam is mature enough to date Rebecca, which implies that Bex isn’t mature enough to be with Rupert and that IS sexist.

Even if the writers confirm tomorrow that Ted/Rebecca will never be a thing, I wouldn’t object any less to Sam/Rebecca. If Sam was Roy’s age and in Roy’s position, I’d have way less of an issue.

But you’re going to have a tough time convincing me that a young man who is 20/21 and employed by a 47 year woman who can heavily influence his career isn’t a massive power imbalance that shouldn’t be explored by fans.

I’m really curious to see how this post ages once the storyline plays out. But this post is about exploring what it means for Sam and Rebecca to get involved and how the accusations of infantilizing Sam doesn’t pass the sniff test.

[kiirokero]

Outro: Love Is Not Over (1)

Pairing: Daycare Teacher! Hoseok x Single Mom! Reader.

Genre: Single Parent! AU, Teacher! AU, Hybrid! AU, Fluff, Angst, Adorable Kids, 

Warnings: Don’t know if this counts but mentions of accidental pregnancies and shitty men. 

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Years after a relationship goes south. You are the single mother of a beautiful 6-year-old golden retriever hybrid who you named Yunho. He is the light of your life. Yunho is everything to you, and you’d do anything for him. But you’re a human. Yunho doesn’t care, he will tell you he doesn’t. “You’re still my Eomma. No matter what.” He says. But you can’t help but feel like you will never be enough for him. You can’t be the mother he deserves. You can’t show him the ropes of being a hybrid, and you can’t teach him things the other moms can. But you try. You try your damn hardest. So, when a handsome German Shepard hybrid comes into your life, helping you and guiding Yunho in a way you can’t, you can’t help the cozy home he sets up in your heart.

Chapter Guide:

Previous / Next

“Congratulations! It’s a boy.” 

“I-Is he okay?”

“Yes, he’s very healthy. Do you have a name in mind?”

“Yunho.”

“A very nice name.”

“Oh, he’s beautiful.”

“That he is. I apologize for asking, but you haven’t listed the father on his birth certificate yet.”

“I’m aware.”

“Are you going to?”

“No.”

“You’re aware what that means, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Well then, Ms. L/n, I’ll leave you be now. Press the button if you need assistance. A midwife will be coming to see you shortly.”

      “Eomma, wake up!” A giggly voice called. The bed was bouncing up and down, pulling me out of my slumber. I couldn’t help but laugh along. “All right, Yunnie, I’m up.” Yunho chuckled and lent down to give me my morning hug. “Good morning, Eomma.” He sighed, his fluffy blonde tail wagging in content. “Good morning, lovely. Did you sleep well?” I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him in for a snuggle. “Yes! I had a dream about giant squirrels!” He exclaimed. I let out an exaggerated gasp, “You did?! That’s awesome.” 

      Yunho wiggled out of my grasp and bounded towards my bedroom door. “Come on, Eomma! I’m hungry.” I chuckled and got out of bed. “Alright, waffles or toast?” I asked while I grabbed my sweatshirt, pulling it on. “Waffles!” Yunho answered, racing downstairs to the living room. I smiled to myself, I couldn’t help the warmth in my heart every time I saw my son. 

     Yunho had short hair that matched mine in color. He also had my eyes. I could see little pieces of myself in his face and it always made me smile. I didn’t pay attention to the features he and his father shared, even if they weren’t many. The most prominent feature they shared being his ears and tail, but somehow, Yunho made them uniquely his. 

      He never like getting his fur cut, would always sulk about it afterwards, he likes to keep the fur on his tail long so either him or I could braid it. He thought braids were so pretty, so he would ask me to braid all of his hair, and eventually, he learned himself. His fur on his ears was less long because of my insistence that having heavy ears would impair his ability to lift them. He could lift his left ear, but not the right one. He’s been working on that. 

      So, even if he was his father's child, he was still just Yunho to me. That man didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that Yunho has his button nose or freckles. It didn’t matter because Yunho was Yunho, and Yunho was the light of my life. He would run around the house non stop, bring me little rocks he found in the yard, draw pictures that had a special place on the fridge. Yunho was sunshine incarnate, and I couldn’t ask for a better son. 

      Downstairs, Yunho was sitting in front of the T.V, watching his favorite cartoon. It was about this hybrid boy and his best friend, who was human. Yunho said it was like him and I, that we were like the characters on screen, going on adventures every day. The sight made me smile yet again, and I went to the kitchen to get started on breakfast.  

     I could see Yunho from the kitchen since it was an open plan. Which wasn’t surprising because we lived in a small house. 2 bedrooms, 1 and 1/2 baths. It had a very large backyard that merged into woods. The area is pleasant, a little secluded, but that just gave Yunho more room to explore. The house got a lot of natural light with the large windows, and the air was always refreshing. 

      When I first saw the house, it was like a blessing. It was a little run down, but nothing I couldn’t handle, and it was cheap. A house being cheap should be a red flag, and it was, but it was worth it. The worst problem the house had was the hot water that ran out pretty quickly. In no way was it a luxurious mansion, but it was home, and that was all that mattered. 

     “Yunho! Come get your breakfast!” I called, placing his bright blue plate on the small dining room table we had. I heard his feet patter on the hardwood as he ran to the dining room. “Woah! Slow down, bub.” I chuckled. Yunho gave me a shy smile and sat down, immediately digging into his breakfast. “Is it good?” I teased, wiping away some stray syrup that threatened to end up in his hair. Yunho nodded enthusiastically, giving me a thumbs up. 

      We ate together with comfortable banter. Yunho was telling me about the latest episode of his cartoon, and I was more than happy to listen. The way his eyes lit up whenever he talked about something he loved was enough to make the toughest of men smile. “Eomma, can Hajun come over today?” Yunho asked in a hopeful tone. I thought about it for a bit, “I’ll call Aunt Hyejin and see if he can, okay?” Yunho brightened up and gave a little “okay!” In response.

     After we were done eating, Yunho put his plate in the sink and went back to watching T.V. I washed up the dishes and dialed Hyejin’s number. “Hey babe!” She answered in her usual cheery voice. I chuckled, “Hey sis.” 

      In reality, Hyejin wasn’t my sis or babe, but we were close like that. Hyejin was a Siamese cat hybrid that I met back in college. We were roommates, and we just clicked immediately. We were there with each other through everything. Shitty professors, family issues, breakups, shit men that make your life a living hell. She had her son, Hajun, a bit before I had Yunho, and helped me whenever I needed. 

      She and her husband, Yoongi, a Persian cat hybrid, were there with me through it all. They were the family I never had. Yoongi was like an overprotective older brother, and Hyejin was no different. They even helped me find Yunho and I’s home. We normally went on family trips to amusement parks or aquariums which the boys never seemed to get bored with. We were all one big happy family. 

     Yoongi and Hyejin were like polar opposites. Yoongi was chill while Hyejin was a bundle of never ending energy. Yoongi was quiet Hyejin loved to talk. Yoongi was an introvert, and Hyejin constantly dragged him out to parties that Namjoon, one of our mutual friends, had mentioned to her. It was funny to witness. Especially when Yoongi begged me to go in his stead, which worked 50% of the time.

      “So, what d’ya need? I’m all ears.” She snickered, and I could practically see her gray ears twitch. “Haha, hilarious. Yunnie wants to know if you guys can come over.” I answered. “Yeah, sure! We’re not doing anything today and I’ve been dying to talk to you about something.” She gushed. “Ooo, exciting.” I chuckled. “I’ll see you soon, babes. Love you!” I said I loved her back and hung up the phone. 

     Soon, Hyejin and Hajun arrived and the boys immediately began playing together. “Hey! So nice to see you!” Hyejin smiled, giving me a hug. “You too!” I was equally just as happy to see Hyejin since she and Yoongi had been a bit busy lately. We walked over to the living room where the boys were playing on the floor with their toys. Hyejin and I sat on the sofa and she immediately began talking. 

      “Okay! So, I’ve been dying to talk to you about this,” She started, already bouncing in her seat. “I can see that.” I teased, poking at her shoulder. “You know the job I was looking into? The daycare one?” She asked, and I nodded. “Well~ I got the job!” She exclaimed. My jaw dropped, a smile made its way onto my face. “No way! Congratulations!” I got up and squeezed her in a bone breaking hug, which she reciprocated. 

     “I know! I’m so excited!” Her tail was flicking behind her. “So, when do you start?” I asked, moving back into my seat. “Next week! I’m going to be the second teacher, helping someone named Mr. Jung.” She explained, and she went on to tell me how she got the job and how Hajun had asked if he could go, only to pout when Hyejin told him that he was too old. “I’m happy for you, Hyejin.” I smiled, excited that she was pursuing her dream of working with kids. 

      Hyejin, like me, got pregnant young and unexpectedly. But she was super thrilled. She didn’t care if she was only 20, she always wanted a child. She wasn’t married at that time, but Yoongi stepped up pretty quickly to raise Hajun with Hyejin. Yoongi was a cool dad, pretty laid back. Usually snuck the kids out to go get ice cream or pizza. Not that Hyejin or I minded, he treated both boys with the utmost care. He treated Yunho like his own son. 

      “So, have you met this Mr. Jung?” I wondered. “Not yet, but I had a phone call with him. Guess what? He’s our age.” She whispered, like what she was saying was some big secret. “Hyejin, we’re both 26, it’s not like a young teacher is unheard of.” I pointed out. “I know! But... What if he’s cute~?” She raised her eyebrows in a teasing manner, leaning closer to me. “I could be cupid.” She winked and I rolled my eyes. 

      “No thanks, Hyejin. I appreciate it, but love for me ended a long time ago.” I sighed and Hyejin huffed, dramatically slouching in her seat. “Y/n, just because... he... broke your heart doesn’t mean you should give up entirely.” She pointed out, looking at me with eyes full of undecipherable emotions. “Any man I date would have to be okay with being a father-like figure to Yunho. I’m 26 Hyejin, no guy my age wants kids yet.” I monotoned. 

      I had come to terms with the fact that most men didn’t want to date someone who already had a child. Not saying that it didn’t dishearten me a bit, but it was a revelation I made early on. If someone wanted me, they were going to want Yunho too. It either both of us, or neither of us. 

Yunho was my light, and he deserved a father that could be the things I couldn’t.

[dandeebakes]

I Read a Fic Today That Made Me Cry, not for the reason you might think.

Personal thoughts from a new fanfic writer. Read at your own risk. This is a mess.

These thoughts are deeply personal and I can’t believe I’m posting them publicly. It’s borderline unintelligible rambling nonsense. Honestly, I’m really just using tumblr as my personal diary, because I need to take these thoughts out of my head and put them somewhere else. But if they help someone else, than it was worth it to spit all this all out like crazy person.

I read a fic today that made me cry. Something most of us can relate to. We’ve all read those fics so moving and heart-string tuggy that we’ve spent countless minutes of our lives, huddled under a blanket at 2 am, wiping away the tears caused by our most beloved fic writers. It is all part of the fandom experience. It is all part of loving our favorite characters so much that we want to read all their hopes, dreams, desires, trauma, joys, sorrows (yadda yadda) played out in a million different scenarios. This time though that experience was much different. I wasn’t moved to tears because the fic was super angsty, but because it was so beautifully written that it made me feel small and inferior. 

See, I am new to creative writing. To be honest, I am new to writing in general. I also have a documented learning disability, ADHD and complex PTSD, which triggers a lot of judgment based anxiety. Because of this, I approach my writing with a great deal of self-doubt. When I was 12, I was told by a special Ed teacher that I should avoid expressing myself through writing. She said that because of my learning disability, it was always going to be a struggle for me to put words down on paper and have them make sense. It was written into my IEP that, whenever possible, my teachers had to allow me to give all my written assignments orally. I spent a good chunk of middle school missing recess so that I could present assignments to my teachers privately. As you might have guessed, this did not help me learn how to express myself in any meaningful way. It was nerve wracking and embarrassing. It made me terrified of public speaking and it made me even more terrified of sharing my dumb (my words) and uninspired thoughts with anyone. It also, rather obviously, didn't teach me a very important life skill—how to write effectively. Rather than take the time to work with me on my writing skills, the public school system (rated number 1 in my state at the time, btw) left me to flounder and taught me to hate myself. Because, the thing is… I’ve always wanted to write. I’ve always had thoughts and ideas swimming in my head that I was just aching to get out. But in the 6th grade I was told that I was not creative enough, and too confusing for anyone to ever care about what I had to say. No one was ever going to want to read a single word that came from my hand, because it was never going to sound nice, or make sense. At least, that’s what I heard. 

Anyway, here I am at 38, so inspired by my love for a fictional character that it makes me want to search my brain for that deeply repressed pocket of creativity. (I blame Ted Lasso [affectionately] entirely.) I find myself desperately wanting to engage and create. I yearn to bring life, love, and joy to these characters who have taken up residency in my brain. I have annoyed my friends and wife about this at length. Talking about wanting to create, but feeling too inferior to do so. Knowing I will never be able to do my favorite characters the justice they deserve. 

Still, after a great deal of encouragement from some of my closest and kindest friends, I have been putting words down on paper. It’s fun. I feel empowered. I feel like I’m finally doing something that I’ve wanted to do for so long. But…there are still so many important things I don’t feel: creative, witty, intelligent, good, worthy. With every single word I write, I think of the thousands of other words written by people so much more talented than me. People who can get inside the heads of my favorite characters to give them passion, and intrigue in a way that I’ll never be able to. People who write with beautiful, poetic language. People who can craft elegant metaphors that make you feel like you are right there with the characters.  People who can capture personality traits, and complicated emotions. People who can simply visualize a character's whole being and then make it shine on paper. People who can pull tiny pieces of characterization from canon and weave them into a fully fleshed character with wants, needs, baggage, trauma, backstories etc.  I want to write like this, but I can’t. Not yet anyhow…

Social comparison is a hell of a drug, y’all. And it’s been eating me alive. But I recognize it (thank you therapy). I spent the whole day today asking myself why on earth I even care? It’s fanfiction. I write it for my own enjoyment, and so that these beautiful goobers don’t overstay their welcome in my brain. I’m not being graded on it. Someone's livelihood is never going to depend on me getting the characterization of Trent Crimm (Independent) right. In the end, why can’t I allow myself to be inspired by the folks more talented than me, rather than discouraged by them. If there is anything I learned from not being “allowed” to write, it’s to fuck that whole idea entirely. Just fucking write, dude.  Will it be good? Who cares. Will it move someone to tears? Probably not. Will it be the most creative and awe inspiring story ever written? Nah. But, really, who? cares?

Anyway, here's a completely insane non sequitur…I watched the Netflix mini series Maid while working this week. After sobbing my eyes out, I came back to a quote Alex said right before she finally left for college. It struck a chord deep in the judgment filled anxiety zone of my brain. “It’s a lot easier to write the truth than it is to say it out loud. Nobody can take writing away from you. Nobody can tell you that you’re wrong, or your words are wrong. Because they’re not. You’re right, and your words are fucking right. Because they’re yours.”  So, after this little nonsensical ramble, I am going back to working on my three wips. Eventually,  I might put one up one AO3. Will the crippling fear of judgment and rejection eat me alive? Yes, it absolutely will. But it won't matter, because those words will always be mine and mine alone. If someone else finds enjoyment in them, great! If someone chooses to give me that sweet, SWEET validation, I’ll cherish it. I’ll wrap it up in a fragile piece of tissue paper and tuck it gently into the happiness cupboard of my brain forever. But at the end of the day, I write, and will continue to write, for me. The rest is barbecue sauce.

[nyxocity]

Fic Writer Questions!

Thanks to @redmyeyes for the tag!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

82, although that's not even close to my actual total. There's a bunch on LJ that have never been transferred (all shorter works)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,780,805 (over 2mil on LJ)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Mostly three, plus a couple dips into a few other pools. X-Men Comic Book fandom, Buffy & Angel fandom (they kinda count as one since it's the same universe), and Supernatural & SPN RPF. Dips have included Dragon Age, Firefly, a tiny bit of TVD, a Sons of Anarchy crossover.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is tough if I go by numbering. Homework Verse has the most kudos scattered across all parts, but Stranger Than Fiction has the most as a single story. Anyway...

Homework Verse (J2 RPF, 200k+ words) - My very first RPF fic, Supernatural or otherwise. Two of my online fandom friends basically TOLD me I was going to write Teacher/Student J2, and I kept protesting that I drew the line at RPF. They didn't care. 200k later, here we are. This story was a game changer for me; it made me fandom famous. I still love those boys with my whole heart, and they still talk to me sometimes.

Stranger Than Fiction (Sam/Dean, 50644 words) - This story idea took root immediately following the episode The Monster at the End of This Book. I quit the Big Bang I'd already begun writing for that year (which was Who Watches Over Me, which I finished and posted for BB the following year) to write this story. It just took hold hold of me and took over. I wrote it in 6 weeks and it was easily the most fun I ever had writing anything--I cackled like a madwoman most of the time.

Who Watches Over Me (J2 RPF, 96591 words) - This story was, at the time, the toughest thing I'd ever written. Little did I know that would become the norm and not the exception, as I began to write more complex stories. It was by far the longest story I had ever posted all at once in its entirety (rather than chapter by chapter) and I had no idea if people would like it. Fortunately a lot of people did.

Like Staring Into the Sun (Sam/Dean, 23243 words) - Ah, my very first hardcore Wincest fic. I remember writing the first chapter of the story (meant to be a one shot honestly), and just sitting there, at 5am, being terrified to post it. It was twisted, dark and intense and SO porny I was scared people might think I was weird. There wasn't anything like it out there at the time. As it turns out, people loved it so much I ended up writing eight more parts.

Like a Fish Out of Water (Sam/Dean, 59498 words) - I have a lot of love for this story. It didn't come to me easily, but it was fun to write. I remember smiling a lot and just having a nice, warm cozy feeling the whole time. I had no idea if anyone was interested in reading this many words of what amounted to a dramedy curtain fic

Of course there are other stories that I feel deserve love, but I can't argue with these.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do. And by that, I mean I try. I don't always succeed in answering them all, but I answer as many as I have time and energy for. Life is busy and there is writing to do as well. I read every comment I get (multiple times) and I feel guilty for all the ones I don't answer, because they mean SO MUCH TO ME. Like you took time to leave this beautiful, well thought out comment, or even a keysmash, or a heart, in response to something I wrote. That means the world.

I WISH there was a reaction function for comments on Ao3, so I could heart things, or laugh in response. Replying with emojis without words feels weird. So yeah, a reaction function would be amazing. But in the meantime, I do my best.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm. Probably A Touch of Evil. Interestingly, it's also a HAPPY ending, so there you go lol. It's a serial killer love story with a happy ending that comes at an exorbitant price.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm not sure why the OG post skips from 6 to 8 lol . So, yes, I have written a few minors crossovers. Mostly Faith in the SPN verse with the boys, nothing too crazy, because she fits right in. But for long stories, I have written all of ONE crossover. It's Dean Winchester/Jax Teller (SPN / Sons of Anarchy). My crossovers so far have tended to make sense to crossover, so I don't think any of them are crazy.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I got some hate on a Buffy/Xander fic back in the day. I got really excited and had fun with it. Like yeah, now I'm SOMEBODY! You're no one til someone hates you lol Most of that was people who were haters of the ship, or were like, gross, they're like brother and sister (they weren't, they were FRIENDS). I've gotten nasty comments here and there on some of my SPN fic. My favorite was the person who accused me of having a "Top Dean Agenda". I STILL laugh about that one. I don't respond to that crap.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Have you MET ME? LOL If I ever post a story without smut just put me out to pasture, because I'm done. And all kinds. Het, Gay, PWP, Plotty porn, mostly super kinky but some vanilla (but intense). I used to challenge myself regularly to see if I could up my kink game--like hmm, but could I write THIS? I haven't written really kinky sex in a long time, though. Might be time to do that.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Several times. Who Watches Over me was stolen by someone and converted to One Direction Lourry fic. Literally just did a name change. Someone else stole a bunch of my one shots and passed them off as their own. I know there were a couple other instances but I only vaguely remember. I never got too deep into it, most of the time the people who discovered the theft already told everyone else too, and the plagiarist had been hammered by them so hard that I didn't have to step in before they took it down.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. I used to get requests so often that I just posted my usual response in my profile for people to read instead of replying. Definitely into Russian and Chinese for most of the stories listed with most kudos above.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A few times on one shot fics. SO MUCH FUN. I love co-writing with people.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Sam/Dean. Easily. Hands down. I just love their unique relationship, bond and love so much.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Well I finally finished A Touch of Evil after posting 3 chapters in 2009 and never touching it again until 2017. And I never thought I'd finish that. So never say never, I say. That said, there's the third and final part of my X-Men comic book epic that remains unfinished by about five (shorter) chapters, and it HAUNTS ME. But I don't think I'll ever finish it.

16) What are your writing strengths?

NOW we get to the hard questions. I'm really good at dialogue, bouncing banter back and forth between characters, and I have a sense for how long a scene should be. I just KNOW when it's going on too long, even if there's more that needs to be said, and I try to tighten it up in that case.

A friend of mine once told me "Porn is my gift". I don't write as much of it as I used to, but yeah, I shine in that area.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

So I always reach a point after writing so many words in an unpublished fic where I'm like, I have no idea if this is even any good/makes sense/hangs together etc. Beyond that, I've been writing for so long that I've had so much practice that I've strengthened a lot of my weaknesses. I'm sure I still have some, but I don't FEEL them like I used to anymore. That said, there are things I simply will not write. Like historical pieces. Because I would research the fuck out of every detail trying to get it perfect and then I would still doubt myself completely.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I mostly try to avoid it, because there's no way I would ever get the language correct. I usually write it in English and then explain that they're saying it in another language. Like, "What are you doing?" the man asks, speaking in Chinese. Then reiterate in the continuing dialogue in various ways that they're speaking in Chinese.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

X-Men Comic Book fandom. I was reading a lot of Remy/Rogue fic back in 1996-1997, and one day I was like, you know what? This person did a pretty good job on this story. It's not great, but it's pretty good, and if they can have the guts to put it out there, then I can do it, too.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

This is a tough question. I don't love all my children equally, but I love them all a lot in different ways lol

Remembering favorite is different than which one I think is BEST... Homework Verse is probably my favorite. I was learning so much about writing then, I was really growing, and discovering, and pushing my limits. Those characters lived and breathed in me, I swear they spoke through me from some alternate universe. They feel so REAL to me. There's so much of what I've learned in life in that story, like really, big, life changing ideas and understandings that happened to me that I put into that story. There's so much of me in that story, and yet there's so much of THEM, too. It's their story, but it's also mine. It's raw and not entirely perfect and it feels like home to me.

--

So that's it, that's my piece. I feel like EVERYONE has been tagged since it took me 3 days to have time to do this, but I'm basically tagging any of you writers out there who haven't done this yet!

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Getting back at writing, is, well, hard. My grammar and vocabulary and basically everything is messed up so I apologize in advance for that. It's been, almost a year ever since my last written fic. That time I was still crazy with Kimetsu no Yaiba and the KyoTan ship. I'll post it some other time ^^.

Anyways, I present to you my attempt in making a plotted work from a random thought that came over me this morning.

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: Basically none. Except for some curse words.

UD 01/10/21: Cleaned and revised some parts! Tried my best, hope it was enough.

•

Of Ice and Blood

Part 1

Quick backstory and some details I left out in the main work.

It was in summer, 28th of July, when Pearl Blackbell turned 19. She left her home and moved closer to the university she’ll be going to. She rented an apartment about five blocks from the school. Albeit small, it was cozy and proper, having what she needed: a kitchen, a decent-sized bedroom, a small living area with a worn but comfy couch, and a bathroom.

When she was younger, her parents started training her in martial arts and the use self-defense weapons. They needed to make sure she knew how to protect herself against assaulters and dangerous people, she was after all, their only child and baby girl . They want their daughter to be strong, both inside and outside, by the time she sets out on her own and leaves home.

Her favorite self-defense weapon was brass knuckles, despite her parents’ protests. She enjoys punching nasty people and feel the crunch of their bones beneath her fists, especially racists, sexists, bullies, and the lot. The main reason why she got into detention multiple times.

Painting it with a ruddy color, she keeps it in her person, no matter where she goes. She has two, one is for extreme situations, while the other has only two knuckles. It stills maximizes the damage dealt but it is relatively less dangerous than the full dusters. The second one is usually a spare, though she rarely uses it.

She also occasionally carries a pair of retractable nunchucks, which she designed to be hidden within her regular baggy clothes. Her father had trained her vigorously with them and she even bested him in a match before she left for the city.

Selkoth, the city of marvels.

Distant sounds of buzzing cars reached my ears as I opened my eyes and blinked away the sleepiness, the light shining from the spaces in my curtains rather helping, together with the warmth it brought to my chilled tawny skin.

[Start of the actual work]

I fully woke up as I registered the sound of my phone alarm, shortly getting up to prepare when I realized what day it was.

Monday, the first day of my college life.

I stepped into the bathroom and took a quick shower, knowing I bathed thoroughly last night to save some time today.

Time management is key.

I dried myself down, turned to my closet and started putting on the outfit I picked out the night before.

Prioritizing comfortability over appearance, I wore my favorite orange cotton shirt, my blackish-blue hoodie (that had been stained with blood some time ago, but don’t worry, I know how to clean out blood. Mama raised no fool.) over it, together with a pair of black skinny jeans. And of course, tight black sports bra and boxers, even mentioning my underwear yes?

I looked over to my mirror and it was—

Simple. And I loved it. The more simple it is the better.

'��Keep a low profile over there, sweetie. Don’t get into fights when you can help it okay??? We already taught you and prepared you to the best of our abilities. Promise to us that you’ll stay safe, and healthy. Okay? And don’t forget to call sometime.”' I sighed, remembering my mother’s words.

"Yes mama, I will.”

With a smile, I did my hair and went for a tight Dutch braid, it going down between my shoulder blades and ending a little above my waist. I ran to my kitchen to eat breakfast, satisfied with my look.

I eat fast okay

Backpack, check. White sneakers, check. Phone and keys, check. Airpods on, playlist shuffled, I bolted out of my apartment and jogged all 50 blocks to school.

Exercise is always important, and what other way to utilize time for exercising than to do it while heading to your destination, right?

I snickered.

As I made my way to the university, I saw bizarre creatures and monsters of different sizes, coexisting, and interacting with humans. Even so, I noticed other people’s disdain and bitterness towards them when I passed by. My nose is awfully sensitive to scents that sometimes the ones their body releases tells me what they feel at the moment. It’s all science, I guess. I was made extra susceptible to these, so I wear a mask everywhere and every time I go out just to partly block most of the smells.

My first day at a university open to everyone across the country gets my blood pumping with excitement. To think that I’m going to study at Ernestine State University, the Ernestine State University!

I first heard about the uni back when I was a child. News broke out about Victor Ernestine, committing suicide by driving his car off a cliff because he couldn’t accept that his daughter was one of the major leaders who made the unity of all people, of all races, possible.

Dramatic.

Months after Mr. Ernestine died, all his properties and riches were passed down to her daughter, who took over as the new founder of the university and rebuilt it to accommodate everyone, no matter the size and shape.

The strictly all-human school, renovated, reshaped, and repurposed, was now the first university to open its gates to everyone in the country of Yundomia.

I’ve always yearned to get to know other species in this world. I didn’t get the chance previously because my parents sent me to an all-human, local high school. Which sucks. I hated how everyone had a certain hatred for the other races, especially orcs. They keep talking about how they are wild beasts and savages that aren’t meant to be in society.

They treated them like animals that are void of emotions and intelligence.

Come to think of it, I mostly fought with humans who were either racist, bullies, bastards trying to hit on me, or a mix of all of them together.

I chuckled, remembering how many times I got counseled on not punching people in the face.

High school was pure torture, being a human-exclusive campus making it worse, considering how everybody smells so horrible and the principal was an egoistic dumbass I was a hair away from gutting him. My poor nose.

But now I’m done with that! I’m starting anew in this school, in this city. Perhaps make some friends along the way.

Which is kinda problematic.

I’m not the social type. I tend to keep things to myself and hardly open up to anybody. I wanna make at least one friend that isn’t human! Or just, one good friend. I didn’t have or made any friends in the past since people tend to shun me out just because I can tell how they are feeling and find it creepy.

Or they’re afraid to get punched in the face.

Entering the campus gates was like stepping into another world. I was met with the sight of humans and monsters walking together and conversing! It was nice, and I don’t get to see this much often.

I walked around and took in the landscape of the campus. It was huge! And beautifully designed to have a great number of trees and plants, while also having space more than enough to accommodate every student going to their respective classrooms.

I was minding my own business and it was all serene, until some bastards pushed past through me and knocking me to the side. I stumbled but didn’t fall. I was gonna say something, but I shut my mouth. I didn’t want to cause any trouble on the first day for goodness’ sake. So I brushed it off and went straight to the gym for the orientation.

*************************************

The orientation was, intriguing. The dean seems nice, though I couldn't smell him from where I sat. There's also a student council made up of both humans and monsters which is a good sign. The student council president was a Minotaur with a dark brown coat and horns curving front and pointing up. The vice-president was a male student who looked decent enough. The secretary was an elf. The treasurer, a dwarf. And the rest were humans. I couldn't scent any of them to tell me what they were feeling at the moment, but the Minotaur looked uncomfortable, his hands behind his back, body going stiff when they were introduced to the freshmen. There was a larger numbr of humans than monsters, which was expected. I also noticed how both were grouped, a white line in the middle of the gym separating us from them.

Maybe to avoid any misunderstandings?

We were informed that today will be for introductions to your classmates and subject teachers so there will be no lessons at all. Hooray!

I was walking to my first classroom when a damned familiar smell attacked my nose. I stopped to stand for a moment and adjusted my mask. I looked around to spot the one emitting it and of course, saw a human. He looked, well, the typical playboy cool boy who used too much body spray on himself.

Not wanting to stand there like an idiot and prolong my suffering, I speed walk to my classroom and planned to sit at the back hoping no one would notice or ask why I’m wearing a mask.

That's always what they ask first. Not my name or how I was doing.

I expected to find no one inside since it was still early, but I was startled to see a massive orc sitting at the back looking out at the window. He was wearing a dark gray knitted sweater that was hugging his hulking frame very…well. Along with what looked like thick cargo pants and black boots.

He turned to look at me when I let out a small yelp, greeting me with his piercing, blue eyes.

Beautiful.

The orc had long, braided, jet-black locks. Two of them had distinct beads that trailed down from the side of his face and down to his chest, the rest of his hair behind him braided with intricacy and tied and ended halfway down his back.

I was pushed out of my trance when a person entered and crashed into me, swearing under my breath that it was intentional, nearly making me plant face-first on the trash bins if I hadn’t changed my footing at the last moment.

“Watch it, bitch, you’re gonna ruin my make-up,” she snapped.

Wow. She dared to call me that and not apologize like I’m the one who shoved her. Just wow. Usually at this point, I would have planted her face on the floor, but I stopped myself.

Low profile! Low profile Pearl! You’re in college now! You definitely don’t want to get suspended on the first fucking day of class now do you?? Keep it together.

Straightening up, I walked towards the back and sat beside the orc. Whose gaze fell on me, curious, when I wasn’t looking.

I made myself settled in my seat before the professor came in.

There were other races in my class. A blue tiefling sat three rows in front, wearing a casual outfit. A black-haired elf who looked and dressed clever, a row away. A cute pink pixie on my far right. A satyr wearing glasses, two seats in front of me, and a female lizardfolk a seat from of the pixie.

"Are you...alright?"

I almost jumped from my seat when the orc beside me spoke. I couldn’t help but admire how deep his voice was. I tried not to appear flustered, my mask helped with that.

“Uh…yes?”

The orc regarded me for a second before continuing.

“You were pushed earlier.”

Oh. He saw that?

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay.” I smiled at him. Then I remembered he can’t see my face. But I hoped the crinkling of my eyes gave it away.

“I’m Pearl, by the way.” I reached out my hand to him, socializing not my best suit but at least I tried.

He paused for a second before taking it into his bigger one, engulfing mine and shook it slowly. I was again, surprised by how gentle he was.

“Tai'chi.”

Interesting.

“Nice to meet you, Tai'chi.”

He lets go of my hand when the professor started talking up front.

“Nice to meet you too, Pearl."

***************************************

Thoughts? I am wide open for constructive criticism :D

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Check pinned post for latest chapter updates💕

[sisterssafespace]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

recently i’ve been struggling a lot. i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bpd not too long ago now. but, i have been struggling so much with bearing it all? i haven’t told my family anything as i’ve told a few close friends. so, i cannot blame my family for the fact i’m very emotionally volatile. even though, i know i’m struggling i keep pushing people away & maybe it’s the embarrassment? the shame? that my anxiety attacks are coming back & they’re more frequent, more painful & so much easier to trigger now. i feel like i have this huge secret that i’m carrying around & it fills me with shame. i know mental health isn’t something to be ashamed of but, in a way i’m the one in my family who can do it all? so, the fact i’m struggling so much that i cry in my room a lot of the time whilst they all are chatting away fills me with sadness? i’ve never been close to my family so, it’s been this way for a long time. i’m very independent but to a fault even when i need help i won’t reach out to anyone. i know i have Allāh swt who will help me through anything & everything. but, i don’t know i feel overwhelmed i feel horrible every moment i’m alone my eyes tear up and i begin to cry because i’m hurting so much. sometimes the world feels so unbearable like i cannot go on any longer but then i remember [2:286]. sometimes, i feel as though i’m not cut of for this world it brings me so much pain & suffering. do not me wrong, i am blessed with so much but in my heart there is a lot of sadness & pain. i feel so weak the days are passing by & with each other my resolve to carry on gets weaker too. i have been referred to therapy & to take some medication but i have no time to go i have no will power to get up & seek treatment. it feels like i’m watching myself slowly wither away with each passing day. i try to make dhikr to distract myself but i end up having an anxiety attack because all i can think about is how i’m a bad muslim. that Allāh swt loves me so much He is putting me through these battles to strengthen me but, i cannot even handle them. i honestly see myself wishing that i could just disappear sometimes. - 🌊

بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم،

قال الله تعالى في سورة القصص :

وَأَوْحَيْنَا إِلَىٰ أُمِّ مُوسَىٰ أَنْ أَرْضِعِيهِ ۖ فَإِذَا خِفْتِ عَلَيْهِ فَأَلْقِيهِ فِي الْيَمِّ وَلَا تَخَافِي وَلَا تَحْزَنِي ۖ إِنَّا رَادُّوهُ إِلَيْكِ وَجَاعِلُوهُ مِنَ الْمُرْسَلِينَ

We revealed this to Moses' mother: 'Suckle him, but when you fear for him cast him into the water. Neither fear, nor sorrow because We shall restore him to you and make him among the Messengers.'

[ Qur'an 28:7 ]

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته 🌸

My dear sister, I started my answer with an ayah about one of my favorite stories in the Quran that is the story of how Musa (as)'s mother had to let him go as a newborn and throw him into the river (to save his life) because Allah swt told her (inspired her to do) so. This story is also mentioned in surat Ta Ha (20) - the surah that I love to call my anti-anxiety pill - but I chose this ayah from surat Al-Qasas for the precise words that Allah swt orders to Musa's mother :

ولا تخافي و لا تحزني | Do not fear nor sorrow (grieve)

The grammatical structure for these phrases is : Prohibition "النهي" which means that Allah swt orders you against doing that thing, it is not a request, it is not a piece of advice, it is actually stronger than that. It is prohibited that you give into your fear (i.e. anxiety) or fall into sorrow, saddness (i.e. depression). The same structure is used when Allah swt spoke to sayyidah Maryam (Mary as), when she was in labor and she was all alone, scared, confused, in pain, she even wished for death,

فَنَادَاهَا مِنْ تَحْتِهَا أَلَّا تَحْزَنِي

But (a voice) cried to her from beneath the (palm-tree): "Grieve not!"

[Quran 19:24]

I personally support and adapt the tafaseer that explain this as that Allah swt loves, appreciates and cares for the women and the girls of the believers so much that He swt prohibits them to feel sad or anxious. - But we will get back to this later in the answer, in shaa Allah.

Now let's go back to the beginning. I have 3 main ideas, let me bullet them not to forget anything:

1) The diagnosis: You said, my beautiful sister, that you were diagnosed not too long ago, with 3 mental health issues. So I take it a shrink/ psychiatrist diagnosed you. And then what? it is not enough to have a diagnosis, what is more important is to have a plan, i.e. therapy. It is important to identify the issue but it is more important to figure out how to deal with that issue. Sis, you need professional help. That ache in your heart and those worries, those thoughts in your mind they won't just disappear on their own. You need therapy. 🥺🥺. Which brings me to point number 2:

2) Asking for help: There is a story that I heard somewhere, a long time ago, but is so iconic that it stayed with me. One time this man's boat drowned. And he was fighting for his life in the middle of the ocean, and he asked God to save him, after a while a boat passed by and stopped for him, they wanted to rescue him but he said " no I don't need you, I have God, He will save me", so the boat moved on. And the man made duāa again and asked God to rescue him. After another while, another boat approach him, and they wanted to rescue him. Again, he declined and said " I have God, He will save me " so they went away. Eventually, the man got tired and couldn't do it anymore. He drowned. After he died, he asked God why didn't you save me? I was waiting for you to rescue you me.. and God said " who do you think was sending you the boats? " ..

Why am I telling you this story? I feel like you are doing the same as this man.

Sometimes people are a means that Allah swt puts in our way to save us! Yes, you are being all toughened up and 'strong' by trying to retrieve from people - even your own family - and not bother anyone with your issues, but you are actually doing more damage and more harm to yourself and to your loved ones this way. No good ever comes from passively sitting in a corner and isolating ourselves in our pain and suffering, especially to us girls, we are very social creatures who thrive and heal with compassionate, empathy, sharing, co-dependence (not in a negative sense), and solidarity. Half of the problem goes away just by talking about it. We immediately feel so much lighter after we have a good talk/ crying session with someone we love. By isolating yourself and drowning in your misery, you are going against your nature and that only amplifies your pain 💔🥺 So I am begging you, to take a step towards your support system, be it family, a cousin, friends, a teacher, a therapist.. you need help and you can't do this alone. Asking another human being to be there for you never means you trust Allah swt less or that Allah swt is not enough for you! On the contrary, maybe that person is fulfilling a purpose for the sake of Allah swt by being there for you. Allah swt has created us this way, there is no shame in asking for help I promise.

⚠️ ALSO OMG HIGHLY IMPORTANT THERE IS NO SHAME IN HAVING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS!

I don't know how much we have to deconstruct, how many walls we have to break down to set ourselves free from all the negative feelings that culture and the patriarchy installed in us since a very tender age, like shame, guilt, self-loathing.. it is A LOT, but we have to. There is no other way around it to free ourselves. And one last thing, my sweet sweet sweet sister, even if you think you can do it all, you can keep it all inside and put on a brave face and go on about your day while there is a battlefield in your head and a fire burning in your heart, you don't have to. Have mercy on yourself. Allah swt would never approve of this, you putting yourself through so much pain by refusing to seek help. And you wonder why your anxiety attacks are back! 💔🥺 which brings me to point 3:

3) Anxiety attacks: Are you sure they are anxiety attacks not panic attacks? How do you identify them? What are your symptoms? And how do you deal with them? How do you cope? See, beautiful sister, this is very very serious! You can't keep going like this and think " oh Allah swt is putting me thru this to make me stronger. " Umm actually, no, Allah swt is not putting you through this. He gave you this at the beginning yes, but He showed you the way, and you stubbornly refused! So now, you are putting yourself through this, my dear, and you do not deserve it!

Please do not take this with a rough note, I am using a very very soft tone, I promise. And also, lots of hugs and caresses 🥺❤️

I want you to promise me that you are going to consider my words, and seriously think of asking for help. For the sake of Allah, for the sake of yourself and your sanity. Remember, you do not own yourself, you do not own your soul, you do not own your body. It is all an amanah that we are responsible for keeping safe and sane until we return to Allah swt, and we are going to be held accountable for what we did with it. Allahu al'mustaān.

Looking forward to getting your updates!

May Allah swt sooth your pain and give you thr courage you need to ask for help. Ameen.

Fi Aman Allah.

- A. Z. 🍃