#like since it's end of the semester our class went for some drinks and snacks

[hershey-the-confused]

I've been trying to be social past few days by going to stuff and no it did NOT help instead i drained all my energy and had to sleep it off .

[sunlight-moonrise]

Sugar, Spice, and Everything (Not So) Nice (Reid Imagine)

Summary: Being a Barista and falling for a regular is as cliche as it gets. Having that customer become your new professor? Not so much. 

A/N: *Peeks head out* Hello everyone. I have come back from my unannounced hiatus to show off this baby. Major thanks to @definitelynotkatesblog​ and @clean-bands-dirty-stories​ for helping me put this fic together. This was written for the lovely @httpnxtt​ for the secret-fic-swap in the Discord (thanks @imagining-in-the-margins​.) I hope you all enjoy this smutty goodness. 

Category: Smut

Content Warnings: Face Slapping, Degradation, Slight Hair Pulling, Oral Sex (male receiving), Fingering, Spanking, Penetrative Sex, Unprotected Sex/Creampie

Word Count: 6.4K

Masterlist

Being a barista is pretty awesome. Sure, there were bitchy customers and super early mornings but it had it’s redeeming perks. We got free coffee, tea, and snacks during our shifts, which served the caffeine addict in me. I also learned how to make popular lattes, mochas, and frappes that I ended up making at home for myself one too many times. While there were the occasional assholes who couldn’t appear human before getting their hands on some caffeine, there were the regulars who made it worth it. Most of the regulars were so sweet, I appreciated a familiar face when they came in. Some.. more than others.

“He’s baaaaaaaaack,” my coworker Hazel whispered to me in a sing-song voice as she scribbled a customer’s name on a cup. I turned to see who she was talking about, but I already had an inkling about who it was.

My suspicions were correct. I turned to see one of our kindest regulars, my personal favorite customer, Dr. Spencer Reid. Is it weird to know the full name -including the honorific- of a customer? Possibly. But when I’d asked for his name to write on his cup the first time he came in, he accidentally gave me his full name. 

“Dr. Reid- uh, Spencer. Sorry, work habit.” He stuttered, avoiding my eyes after the mistake.

“No worries! What can I get started for you?”

As a Criminology major,  I learned to study the people who catch my attention before indulging them. Call it an old habit. 

Dr. Spencer Reid had earned his title and then some. He’d joined the FBI at only 22, having six degrees under his belt by the age of 27. He’d written several dissertations and co-wrote novels with his colleague, David Rossi. Someone with his reputation could be a pompous ass and have a leg to stand on, which is what made his humbled demeanor so much sweeter. He was also incredibly easy on the eyes, which was a nice little bow on top. 

Hazel liked to joke about how we’d make a cute couple but I know she only did it to watch me get flustered.  

I walked towards the counter to take his order, leaving Hazel with the task of refilling the caramel syrup. I’m always the one to help him since he very aptly pointed out that I’m the only one who makes his coffee just how he likes it.  

Some days, he’d let me surprise him with a random creation. I’d confirm if he wanted caffeine (he always did), iced or not, and any flavor requests. He’d take his drink, tip me handsomely and let me know his thoughts on the drink the next time he came in. So far, his favorite was the almond milk honey latte I’d concocted. It was nice to have a little bit of fun, especially with regulars who were as consistent as him.

“Hey Doc, what can I get ya’?” I asked.

“The usual, please,” he said with a smile. I nodded and set off to make his drink: a venti dark roast with a shit ton of sugar, a dash of nutmeg, and a tiny bit of cinnamon.

“Of course!” I quickly go to fill his order, making sure to put a complimentary treat in a bag for him. I know he had the ultimate sweet tooth so I try to sneak him a confection whenever I can. At first, he was a bit reluctant to take the free pastries, but nowadays he usually smiles when he sees the small bag. 

“Here ya’ go.” I handed him his steamy cup of caffeine along with the little treat, seeing him smile at the small pun I add to his cup, “Have a BREW-tiful day, Doctor!” I watched as his lips landed on the rim of the cup, taking a long sip of the hot coffee. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the sight making my cheeks promptly flush. I cleared my throat before asking, “Is it good?”

“It’s always good when you make it,” he stated matter of factly, a small smile touching his lips. The heat in my cheeks rose again. “Will you be taking a course this summer?” he asked, taking another sip of his coffee.

“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it. My first day is actually later today. I’m surprised the class section was open, to be honest.” Super surprised actually. I’d been trying to enroll in this class for the past couple of semesters but it was always full by the time I was able to even load the registration page.

“Well, I’ll wish you luck, but I’m sure you won’t need it.”

“How can you be so sure?” 

“I can just tell.” He stated calmly, like it was common knowledge. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain. Before he could respond, an insistent cough caught both of our attention. I peeked over Spencer’s shoulder to see a customer waiting for his order to be taken. I turned my attention back to the Doctor, an annoyed look painted on my face. He nodded, taking a hint from the impatient mouth breather behind him. 

“Thank you for the coffee. Enjoy the rest of your day. I hope that class goes well.”

“Bye, you too.” I waved, watching as he exited the door. I turned to the waiting customer, a bit miffed that he interrupted our conversation. But because I was at work, I plastered a fake smile on my face so that he wouldn’t see just how annoyed I was. “Welcome, how may I help you?”

●●●

After clocking out at 2:30 PM, I made a dash for the building where my class would be held. It’s not supposed to start for another half-hour, but I wanted to be sure to get there in time to choose a good seat and settle in before the rest of the class arrived.

Luckily room 301 was relatively empty so I was able to score a perfect seat by the window. I decided to kill some time by listening to some music and doodling randomly in my notebook. Some time had passed when I felt someone take the seat next to me. I turned to see a young man occupying the chair beside mine. He looked to be a frat boy based on the Greek letters he was sporting. Who wears a cap and hoodie in this weather? I really hope he didn’t expect to cheat off of me- although these types of guys always seem to do so.

I was about to return to my doodle when I felt a poke on my shoulder. I turned to give the offender my full attention, removing one of the earbuds from my ears. 

“Hey, I’m Tony,” frat boy said, with a wide smile adorning his face. I must admit, his boyish grin melted the slight annoyance I had begun to stir toward him. I returned his greeting and introduced myself as well. “I don’t mean to be a bother,” he continued, “but I like to have at least one buddy in each of my classes. In case we need help or miss an assignment or something.”

I nodded my head - a friend in a class was always useful when it came to studying and swapping notes. We chatted a bit more, learning about each other’s major and why we both decided to take a summer course. Tony is a double major and this course will satisfy the credits he needs for his psychology requirement. This is why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. 

It wasn’t until I heard the hush of the classroom that I realized the class was about to begin. I turned back to my notebook, preparing to jot down some important information despite it being the first day of class.

“Good morning class.” Wait. That voice... I didn’t even need to pick my head up to know who had spoken. “This is Criminal Psychology and I am your instructor, Doctor Spencer Reid. Unfortunately, Professor Monroe could not cover this course so I’ll be his permanent replacement. Now…”

I raised my head, watching as he continued to talk about what is to be expected in this course while a TA handed out the syllabus. He went on, able to capture the attention of everyone while speaking of the experiences he had with an array of criminals. His eyes scanned the room and for a brief moment I thought they would land on me, but they continued to take in the mass amount of students before him.

My concentration was broken by Tony passing me a copy of the syllabus. I scanned it over, making sure to highlight all the important dates. I didn’t want any exams or projects conflicting with my work schedule. I also made note of how the overall grade system is broken down. The whole thing seems pretty fair and everything was spaced out enough where I wouldn’t feel too overwhelmed with the workload.

“… and that pretty much wraps it up. Does anyone have any questions?” I tuned in just as he was pulling the first class to a close. No one raised their hands, so he dismissed us with a reminder to read the first chapter of the textbook and to check for any emails.

“So do you want to grab lunch?” Tony asked from beside me. I contemplated whether or not to go with him. He must have seen the hesitation in my face because he quickly added, “Not as a date or anything, I just wanted to grab a bite and I didn’t want to do it alone.”

“Sure,” I smiled, “Let me just ask the professor a quick question about his office hours and I’ll meet you at the food court.”

“Sweet, I’ll see you in a bit.” With that, Tony gathered his stuff and exited the back door. 

I focused my attention on the podium, seeing a gaggle of girls surrounding him asking redundant questions. From what I could hear, their questions could have been answered if they’d read the syllabus. I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt, they were probably more focused on him rather than what he was saying during class. I waited a few more minutes for them to finish up before I made my way to him.

“So do I call you Doctor or Professor now?” I laughed. 

“From you, I’d respond to either,” he replied warmly. The comment made me blush. If he looked into my eyes at that moment, he’d see more stars in them than the night sky. I bit my lip to stop the idiotic grin from spreading across my face. 

He’s your professor, get a hold of yourself.

“How can I help?” he asked, bringing me back to the original reason as to why I was standing in front of him without a cash register between us. 

I cleared my throat. “Um, I was wondering if it was possible to see you outside your normal office hours? I usually work the morning shifts and I don’t want to flood your emails with my questions.” I asked.

“Of course,” he said. “You can come to my office at whatever time works best for you. I know balancing a work and school schedule can be hard. Besides, I’m usually there handling paperwork anyway.” He gave a small shrug, pushing his hands in his pockets. 

“Thank you so much. I look forward to the rest of the semester Professor Reid.” I liked the way his newfound honorific rolled off my tongue. 

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Goodbye, Professor.” With that, I left and headed out to meet Tony. 

I was able to find him at the food court. We got some food and chatted more about our classes as well as life outside of school. He made it easy to be his friend, and it was nice having someone to talk to. He works as a waiter so we shared our customer service horror stories and tales of sneaking food at work. It was a nice distraction that took my mind off of Dr. Reid and the ongoing battle of calling him Doctor or Professor. As Tony rambled, my mind wandered about other things I’d like to call Spencer instead. 

●●●

In that short span of two weeks, we already had an exam, an oral presentation, and a report on the psychoanalysis of serial killers. Not one day had been wasted, but this is what to be expected from a summer course. The essay was due the day before. Now we had to wait for our grades which gave us a moment to take a breath.

I was worried that my paper was subpar; especially since I chose to write about Andrei Chikatilo, a serial killer from Ukraine. He wasn’t as popular as those in America, so I ended up spending hours on deep research to find substantial information about his crimes. It also didn’t help that some of the original reports weren’t in English. I had worked hard, and hoped Professor Reid would see that, even if my writing could sometimes be a little weak. I was worried about the grade as our research papers held the weight of 20% of our final mark. 

“Hello? Earth to Y/N! Anyone in there?” Hazel’s voice pierced through my worry bubble, her hand waving in front of my face. I shook my head, trying to focus on restocking the coffee beans.

“Sorry Haze, I’m thinking about this class.”

“Funny you say that; your favorite professor just walked in. Thought you might want to take his order.” She wagged her brows at me, making kissy faces as I hurried to the front register, trying my best to not let my eagerness be so glaringly obvious.

There he was, in his usual handsome glory, patiently waiting for me to take his order. He greeted me with a small smile that I happily returned.

“Hey Doc, what can I get you today?”

He debated for a moment before saying, “Surprise me.”

“Gotcha.” I already had an in my head; it’d been a while since he asked me to make him a random drink so I’d had plenty of time to plan. We got an early shipment of ingredients for our fall-themed drinks and I figured he would appreciate some pumpkin spice in his caffeine. “How are the papers coming along?” I asked casually as I rang him up.

“Pretty well. I’m almost done, so you’ll all receive your grades later today.” Wow, that was fast. I wondered if he stayed up reading all those papers to be done by today. Probably not, a TA must have helped him.

“I am a bit nervous about mine, especially since it’s worth a huge part of our final grade.” I really wanted to get an A in this course, but it was hard juggling everything in such a short amount of time.

“Don’t worry about it too much,” he reassured. “I haven’t properly finished yours yet but it looked great just from what I’ve seen thus far.” His words gave me a little reassurance.

“Thanks. I put a lot of effort into it. Let me grab your coffee now.” Spencer walked towards the pick-up station while I grabbed a venti cup for his drink. Just when I was about to make his order, I saw another familiar face come up to the register. “Tony, hey!” I shouted, placing the cup back down, “What can I get you?” 

This was the first time he’d been here, despite him saying for the past few days that he’d stop by for a visit, even with the promise of a cake pop if he did. It was nice to see another familiar face.

“Hey coffee girl, how you doin’ today?”

“Just peachy. My feet are killing me, though.” Just saying the words caused the ache on the soles of my feet to spike higher. I thanked my lucky stars I was almost done with this eight-hour shift.

“Give me the chance to sweep you off your feet, I promise you won’t regret it.” he offered boldly. It wasn’t the first time he’d joked about taking me out. I laughed, especially since he had a girlfriend. She met us for lunch one day and we became fast friends- she was an incredibly sweet and intelligent girl, polite and elegant as well. It is a wonder how his frat boy charm won her over but opposites attract, I guess.

“Shut up, Casanova. What are you gonna have?”

“I’ll have a grande iced matcha latte, please.” I should’ve known. He told me that he loves matcha flavored food and drinks the first time we grabbed lunch after class. He had complained that there was no good place to get one on campus. 

“Coming right up.” I quickly filled his order since it was faster to make compared to the pumpkin spiced latte. I handed him his bribe-cake pop, matcha flavor of course, while he waited for me to finish making his drink.

“By the way, we’re still studying at the library for the exam later tonight, right?” Tony asked.

“Yup, I’ll meet you at 8.”

“Copy that, see you later coffee girl.” He turned to leave while I turned to make Professor Reid’s order. I put extra whip cream and a bit more syrup to satiate his sweet tooth. I grabbed a fresh chocolate muffin from the display case and popped it into a bag for him as well, drawing yet another pun on the good doctors bag. “Thanks for being such a TEA-rrific professor!”

“Here ya’ go Doc,” I called out before placing his drink and muffin on the counter. I looked up to see him no longer smiling. “Is everything okay?”

Ignoring my question, he said, “I wasn’t aware you were so close to Mr. Montgomery.”

“Oh yeah, we study together once in a while.” I could have sworn I saw his frown deepen before his features became void of any emotions. He shifted his eyes downward, his hand moving rapidly to grab the cup.

“I should get going.”

“Oh, okay” Before I could say goodbye, he was already halfway out the door. 

That was weird. I looked at the counter and noticed that he left the cupcake behind. Maybe he was in a rush?

I shook my head. I needed to concentrate on making it through the last couple of hours of work. 

●●●

I made my way to the classroom, smiling at Tony as he pulled out my seat for me. Professor Reid walked in a few minutes later, his tall figure drawing all the attention to the center of the small stage. He let us know he already graded the papers and that they would be distributed by the TA before the end of class. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach but decided to brush it off and pay attention in class. Despite my attempts to focus on his lecture, I found my mind wandering every so often anyway.

I couldn’t help but think he was less animated today. Usually, he taught with such passion that the class couldn’t take their eyes off him. But today, it felt as if we were all in a boring seminar with an ancient professor. Tony kept glancing at the clock, probably also wondering why time felt like it was going by so slowly. 

I couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling the entire class. It didn’t help matters that every time I would raise my hand to answer a question, he would call on another student. What the hell did I do? 

I decided to tune out the rest of the class. There is no point in being an actively engaged student if I wasn’t going to get treated like one. I’d just get the notes from Tony later.

Thirty minutes before the end of class, the TA handed out our essays while Professor Reid wrapped. 

“Some of you did very well, while a few others struggled with the assignment.” His eyes landed on mine as he said that. It was the first time he had glanced in my direction the whole class. He moved on to the other side of the room. My mind was probably just playing tricks on me. “If you have any questions you can see me at my office hours next week or send me an email. You are dismissed.”

The TA finally made his way over to me, handing my essay in a slight fold. I looked at the grade on top and almost dropped the paper. My heart sped up as I stared at the letter in bright red ink. No way, no way this could be my report. I looked at the right-hand corner and saw my name at the top. I read through the first page and saw they were indeed my words.

How the fuck was it possible that I got a D on this paper? I knew my writing wasn’t the strongest, but a D? 

“How you’d do?” Tony asked. For a moment I forgot I was in a room with other people.

I cleared my throat, trying to relive the lump so that he didn’t hear the croak in my voice. “Umm, not what I expected. I’m going to try to speak to him about it.” Tony was a smart kid, so I was sure he could see how tense I was. Luckily he didn’t question me any further and instead told me he’d text me later before leaving the classroom.

Fortunately, there were no other students in the classroom to slow me down this time. I walked right up to the podium, watching as Professor Reid placed some papers in his satchel. 

“Professor, I need to speak with you.”

“Not now, I’m busy,” he replied, not even bothering to glance in my direction. This can’t be real. The sweet, kind Doc could not be the man acting like a total asshole right now.

“I really need to discuss with you my paper,” I pressed, raising my voice a little louder in an attempt to get his attention. That was wishful thinking on my part since he continued to fiddle with his satchel.

“I said I’m busy,” he uttered once again, his voice void of any emotion. He was about to walk past me, ignoring my whole being. His blatant disregard made my cheeks burn, and not in the usual way they usually did when I was around him.

“Spencer,” I barked, “We need to talk. Now.” For a few moments, he stood in front of me, his back facing my direction.

I was about to speak again before I heard him say, “My office. Half an hour.” He exited, leaving me alone in an empty classroom. The only things keeping me company were the fuming feelings swirling inside me and the failed paper clutched at my fist. 

●●●

I knocked on his office door ten minutes earlier than he’d told me. The anger in my gut brewed hotter the longer I waited. As soon as I heard a “Come in,” I rushed through the door, slamming it behind me. He regarded me coolly, but didn’t comment on my actions. 

“What can I do for you Ms. (Y/L/N)?” I walked up to his large desk, not bothering to take a seat in the chair in front of me. I took a moment to calm myself down before replying.

“Well, you can start by explaining to me why I got such a low score on my paper.” I guess he didn’t like being the only one of us sitting down because he stood up and leaned against the wall behind him.

“It did not meet the requirements for a passing grade as outlined in the rubric. The information given was boring and the overall topic was uninteresting. It was tedious to get through,” he responded nonchalantly, like he was giving me a weather report.  

“You said that you enjoyed it so far.” I rebutted, placing my hands on the desk. I needed something to offer me stability so that I wasn’t visibly shaking.  

“I’d mistaken your work for another student’s. Maybe Mr. Montgomery,” he dryly clipped.

A bitter laugh escaped me as I put the puzzle together. Was- was he serious? Was this man acting like this because of Tony? The audacity! The laugh that bubbled from my lips must have unsettled him. He left his position from the wall in favor of standing in front of me.

“You want to know what I think?” I didn’t give him a chance to respond before continuing, “I think you’re jealous that I have another guy that isn’t you getting friendly with me at the shop and because of your inability to keep your---“

“That is enough,” he grounded out, shaking his head. But I didn’t stop talking.

“--private feelings away from your professional ones, you decided to give me a failing grade. Do you know how hard I worked in-” my voice rose up higher and higher until I was yelling.

“I said that’s enough,” he said again, louder this time. But I wasn’t done.

“-this class? This is my life, my fucking future on the line. I’ve told you how important this all is to me and you don’t even give a shit! You’re going to let your interpretation of my relationship with another student influence the way you do your job? And here I thought you were a decent man, Professor.” I hissed, “Do you even give a damn abo-”

“Enough,” he roared, slamming his hands on the desk and caging me against the wood. His breathing was matching the upbeat pace of my own. His quick movement and the sheer volume of his voice caught me off guard, effectively silencing me. 

“I don’t deserve to be punished over your envy,” I whispered, locking eyes with him in a steady gaze.

“You want to see a real punishment, darling?” he hissed, the heat of his words almost breaking my glare, his breath fanning along my face.

We stared at one another for a while, neither of us willing to be the first to back down. The tension between us kept rising and rising until the inevitable happened. I couldn’t be sure who made the first move but before I knew it, our lips collided with a mix of rage and desperation. My arms draped around his neck as he pressed me on to the desk. He placed his hands on the back of my thighs, lifting me up high enough until I was perched on the cool wooden surface.

Spencer’s lips were soft, a stark contrast to the harsh way he was kissing me. His tongue parted my lips, gliding over mine with fervor. I couldn’t help but moan as he rolled his hips into me. He continued his rough grind, keeping my legs open as we moved as close together as our bodies would allow. He overwhelmed my senses- the smell of him, the taste of him, the feel of him. Everything was making me absolutely feral for this man. 

I never expected the gentle Dr. Reid to be so fervent, so sensual. The kindhearted, sweet professor who regularly drank his weight in caffeine never gave me this impression. But then again, I’m sure he was shocked by my attitude as well. He knew me as the friendly, bubbly barista, now student, who enjoyed his class. He was about to meet a whole new side of me, just like I was going to for him.

Spencer pulled away from me, our mouths making an audible ‘pop’ sound from the sudden separation. I tried to catch my breath as he stared at me, our chests rising and falling together. If I were to move a bit closer to him, we would be touching once again.

He took a few steps back before motioning me to step in front of him. “I want you to get down on your knees. Now.” I wasn’t going to argue with him, mainly because I wanted the exact same thing he did. I kneeled down, keeping my eyes on his face.

“You going to shut me up, Professor?” I teased, feeling powerful, even though he was looming over me. He didn’t reply, just continued to look down on me with those honey colored eyes- full of lust and rage.

I watched as he slowly placed his hands on his slacks, undoing the belt and buttons. He drew down his pants and boxers at the same time, just low enough to reveal his impressive size. My mouth salivated at the sight of his bulge as he came closer to me.

“We’re going to put that smart mouth to better use. Open.” He said, gripping my face between his fingers, forcing me to follow his orders. I opened my mouth slightly, not giving him exactly what he wanted. Instead of ordering my mouth to open further like I expected, he placed his thumb inside. He pushed the digit deep, pressing it against my tongue. I moaned around the finger, softly nibbling at the skin. He continued to slide his finger within my mouth before dragging it out completely. He wiped the excess spit on my cheek before lightly smacking it. The small shock of pain sent a shiver down my spine.

“Open, and do it right this time.”

I obeyed, opening wide enough to accept him into my mouth. My lips were stretched almost uncomfortably in an attempt to fit around him. He was so hot and thick, I couldn’t help but hum at the taste of him on my tongue. The soft “fuck” that fell from his lips had me purring around him. I went to place my hands on the remaining portion that couldn’t fit, but he batted them away.

“You’re using only your mouth.” 

Fine, have it your way, Sir. 

I placed my hands behind me as I bobbed my head, hallowing my cheeks with every rise. His shallow thrusts encouraged me to suck harder. I slowly pulled away to run my tongue against the vein protruding on the underside of his cock. I was rewarded with a groan escaping his lips.

“I should have known that you would be so good at this, darling,” he said, his voice slightly hoarse as he tried to control his grunts.

I made sure to look in his eyes as I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock. The face he made was purely angelic. The muscles of his neck protruded more evidently and his breathing became more labored. I placed him back in my mouth, this time taking my time to go down on him.

“That’s right, Princess. Show me what a good girl you are for me.” He moaned as I felt his hands weave in my hair before he pushed my head down on to him, causing me to gag around him, tears pricking my eyes. He continued his thrusts into my mouth, barely allowing me a chance to breathe. My nose repeatedly touched the base of him as I swallowed around his hard length.

Spencer tightened his fingers in my hair and I knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.  The pace was brutal, but I enjoyed the rough treatment. Knowing that I was the one making him feel good was such a turn on. He buried himself deep in my throat after a few more thrusts to finish. I swallowed his release like the greedy brat that we both now knew I was.

He eventually pulled out, a satisfied sigh leaving his lips. I swiped the back off my hand across my mouth to clean off any leftover spit and cum.

“Get up,” he ordered, his voice hoarse.

I did so, rubbing the ache in my knees as I slowly rose. “I want you bent over the desk,” he continued.

“I want you to answer my previous question.” I quipped.

“You’re not in the position to be making commands,” he growled. He wrapped his fingers in my hair again, pulling just roughly enough so that I was looking up at his face. “If you want this to end well for you, I suggest bending over my desk before I stuff my cock in that bratty little mouth of yours again.”

He released me, eyes still on my face waiting for me to follow through on his order. I turned to his desk and did as he asked, bending over the wood until my chest laid flat against the surface. I waited as patiently as I could for him. It felt as if I was in this position for an eternity before he touched me. He pushed both my underwear and skirt down to my knees before placing his hands on my hips. I heard it before I felt it- the smack on my ass that caused me to yelp.

“Fuck, Spencer. What the—” I was cut off with another resounding smack.

“Did you really think that I wasn’t going to give you a real punishment, darling?” I took a deep breath as another shiver went down my spine. He had no business sounding so hot right now. Another smack, this time on my opposite cheek, had me biting down on my lip to stop myself from crying out.

“This” *SMACK* “Is” *SMACK* “What” *SMACK* “Happens” *SMACK* “To” *SMACK* “Bratty” *SMACK* “Little” *SMACK* “Girls” *SMACK*. A sob ripped from my chest as the last blow landed. My ass was on fire and surely littered with his hand prints.

“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood since you sucked me off so nicely, or I would have made that worse.”

Gee, thanks.

“You look like such a dirty slut like this.” I felt a finger enter me easily, the wetness gathered there making my entrance ready to take him. “So wet. Was it the spanking that got you like this, or your mouth around my cock?” A moan was my only reply as he added another finger, the two digits moving in a scissoring motion. 

“Are you gonna be my sweet girl, now?” He asked as I moved my hips along his fingers, desperately trying to seek some more relief for the fire burning between my thighs as his mouth littered marks along my thighs. I closed my eyes, focusing on the pleasure he was giving me as he curled his fingers, a slow moan falling from my lips. He pulled them out of me, wiping the slickness against my still burning ass. Fucking bastard. I wiggled my hips against him, hoping he would grant me a reprieve and put his fingers back inside me. Instead, he spanked my ass one more time- one quick, sharp blow against the bruised cheek.

Just when I was about to yell at him, he placed the head of his member against my entrance. He moved up and down my drenched entrance before penetrating me in one full thrust. I took a short breath in, trying to get used to feeling so full. He was stretching me out in the most amazing way.

Spencer waited until I was grinding against him before he pulled out and pushed back into me. “Look at you, such a wanton little bitch aren’t you?” He could call me whatever he wanted, as long as he didn’t stop fucking me.

He kept a steady pace, making sure to grind into me every time he slammed back in. The obscene sound of our skin smacking against one another’s and the moans escaping our throats was an erotic symphony that had my body heat raising the temperature in the room.

He hitched my leg on top of the desk, entering in an angle that made the pleasure so much better. I couldn’t stop the whines that kept escaping my mouth every time he pounded into me. His hand stayed upon my leg, holding me down and limiting my movements. His nails dug into the skin so harshly I was sure there would be bruises left in their wake.  

“Fuck, you feel so good wrapped around me,” he hissed under his breath. “Should have known you just needed to be fucked like the cheap whore you are.” He sped up, hips snapping at an almost punishing pace. The desk creaked every time he slammed into me. I hoped no one was nearby to hear what was going on. A whine left my throat when I felt his fingers rub against my clit. I was so close now.

“Should I stay inside you? Fill you up so you walk around campus carrying my child?” He growls, his pace increasing with each passing moment. “Knock you up so the whole campus knows what a whore you are for me?” He asks, earning a cry ripped from my throat. 

“Who’s fucking you?” he grunted. I don’t know how he expected me to form a coherent statement at this current moment. My eyes could barely stay open at this point. 

“Spencer, please.” He smacked the outside of my thigh.

“Try again, who’s fucking you?” 

“You are, Doctor.” Apparently, that was the wrong answer too, because it earned me another smack on my thigh. I had tears streaming down my face from the pleasurable pain he was giving me.

“You have one more chance or else I’m not letting you come. Now, who’s is fucking you?”

“Professor Reid!” I cried out.

“That’s right darling. Now come on my cock.” A harsh bite on my neck was the ultimate push that had me seeing stars. Spencer thrusted a few more times before fully sheathing himself within me.

He slumped over me, the feel of his breath against my neck causing me to shiver once more. We took a moment to have the high leave our body before he pulled out of me, a gasp leaving the both of us. Spencer was the first to break the silence between us.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?” he asked, his voice a bit shy. 

I giggled at his demeanor. A few moments ago, he was fucking me senseless and spanking me over his desk like a porno, and now he was asking me out to dinner. 

“Absolutely,” I smiled. “But I should probably cancel my study plans.” I quickly added. 

He led me to the faculty bathroom so I could freshen myself up. When I emerged, he was back to being the prim and proper professor I knew him to be. Just before we left his office, he leaned down and whispered, “By the way, you got an A.”

[aetheternity]

Hard pass (Levi x reader)

(Enjoy a beautiful pic of chubby cheeked Levi)

Synopsis: Levi is forced out of his comfy dorm room and in a strange twist of events right into your arms at a college party.

"No."

"But I haven't even finished the question yet.." Hange sighed

"You want me to come to one of these pointless weekend parties that you go to almost every Saturday." Levi responded, fingers clicking quickly against his laptops keyboard.

"Come on Levi, if I got forced into going you have to come too." Erwin said with exasperation thick in his tone.

"How did you stupidly end up saying yes?" Levi questioned looking up from his laptop with a small raise of his brow.

Erwin shook his head almost in shame. "Hange offered to purchase that book I've wanted all semester. The one I couldn't find for any cheaper than 350." He shrugged, "Speaking of which how do you plan on paying for it?"

"Don't worry about that. Worry about the party we're all going to have so much fun at tonight."

"I said no." Levi grunted

"Oh come on!" Hange's voice echoed in the small dorm room.

"What else are you going to be doing? You know besides staring at a screen all night and cleaning Mike's side of the room?"

Mike was an over all good roommate despite his cluttered space. Levi had known him his entire almost three years of college and after a while they'd become friends. Though Levi still sometimes found himself cleaning up after Mike because he just couldn't stand the growing clothes pile on the other side of the room.

"So what?" Levi shrugged rereading the same paragraph again because Hange kept distracting him.

"So?! Do you really wanna sit in here on a Saturday night again instead of going to get some pussy like Mike is probably doing?"

"That's so inappropriate Hange." Erwin commented

"Take the stick out of your ass we're all grownups here." Hange replied shooting Erwin a weak stare which Erwin reciprocated. "Come on! What'd I have to do to get you to come?"

Levi rubbed his eyelids. He knew this would pretty much be his night if he didn't go but parties definitely weren't his thing. Though somehow this might be mildly worse.

"One fucking hour. No more no less." He finally agreed

"YES!" Hange screamed so loud it could probably be heard in the building next door.

"Look who else stupidly ended up saying yes." Erwin smirked

"Shut up, I just want to be able to work in silence sometime tonight.

"Sure sure."

"Get ready! We'll be waiting downstairs!" Hange bounced

~ ~ ~ ~

It took Levi about thirty minutes to get ready. His attire comprised of a dark red shirt, black dress pants and a black jacket hung over his shoulder. He hopped into Hange's car ignoring the groans of how this was a party not a funeral and how him and Erwin sucked at having fun.

He hadn't even entered the front door yet and he was already praying for this hour to be quick. He didn't technically have to rush back to his paper since he was ahead of schedule for all of his classes. But he still hated to leave an unfinished paper just lying around. Even if only for an hour.

The drive was surprisingly (and thankfully) pretty short. Though Levi was surprised when they headed into a dorm building. Hange took the lead as they climbed up the stairs though the higher they got the worse the smell got.

Erwin coughed fanning his face, "God that is an ungodly odor." And Levi quickly followed suit wrinkling his nose.

"Can't have a party without it." Hange replied with a small laugh.

"Disgusting." Levi responded

"You can definitely have a party without weed." Erwin groaned

"Your stuffy book meetings are parties Erwin."

Levi almost wanted to laugh at this but he kept his composure. They finally rounded a corner coming up to a door where a guy and a girl were outstretched on the floor. Both of whom had drinks in their hands. They both greeted Hange and Hange quickly greeted them back.

"Alright boys. Time to party." She delighted

The booming music that Levi could hear out in the hallway went from mildly obnoxious to instantly pounding. Levi hated it. He might have to find a way to sneak out before the hour was up. Though at the moment Hange was pulling both him and Erwin by their collars as if she was scared either of them would make a run for it.

"You guys hungry?!" She asked "Let's go get some chips!"

It felt like the farther in you went the worse the godforsaken music sounded. And in such a small dorm. How was everyone not deaf? Somehow though it looked like almost everyone was ignoring the music. There were people on the floor making out, people talking, a guy laying in the sink with a lampshade over his head..

And throughout all of it Hange was getting greeted left and right. It was honestly weird seeing as Levi had never seen Hange with anyone other than him and Erwin. They finally reached the snack table where Hange quickly shoved the bowl of chips into Levi's hands.

Levi grumbled but Hange just smiled, "Come on guys, Loosen up this is your first party after all!" She sighed, loudly rubbing both of their backs.

Levi wordless handed the chip bowl to Erwin. "I've been to parties." Erwin replied, taking a chip and slowly chewing it.

"Your fifteenth birthday is not what I'm talking about." She huffed, "You guys are totally missing out on what makes college fun!"

"Watching people shove their tongues into each other's mouths and get drunk in a room that is far too hot and too crowded while music bumps obnoxiously over every word you say so you have to lose your voice screaming?"

"Yes! Isn't that great?!" Erwin and Levi simultaneously groaned over Hange's enthusiasm. "Here, come on have a beer!" She handed both boys a bottle. Levi stared at it plainly, that is until a voice shakes him from his gaze.

"Hey Hange!" This voice is much sweeter. So much more comforting to hear than the agitating speaker. He looked up in time to freeze in his place. His eyes transfixed on the person currently in front of him.

"Y/N! Hey, I didn't know you were coming out tonight."

"Yeah, my roommate forced me. She said I've been too stressed lately." Her smile was bright under all the strobe lights. Everything about her felt bright from her eyes to the shimmer of her hair. Was her hair shimmering? Maybe it was Levi's imagination.

Y/N? Was that what Hange called her? What a pretty name for such a pretty girl.. How could Hange know someone like you?

"You remember Erwin right?" Hange asked, which temporarily shook Levi from his thoughts.

Erwin stuck out his hand, "Hi again Y/N." Erwin knew you too??

"Hey! Erwin, let me guess you still haven't found that impressively old book full of research from like 1853?" Their hands stayed together for a minute longer than Levi would've liked.

"Incorrect, the only reason I'm here is because I found it."

She nodded her smile still warm and giving Levi a warmth that spread through his abdomen like a flame. "Sorry, I'm a little off my radar tonight. I'm the designated deliverer. Deliever because I'm just walking my drunk friends a couple floors down later."

Hange gave a brief laugh, "Where is Sasha by the way?"

Y/N searched for a second. "I'm hoping she's across the hall because I've been trying to escape all this noise all night."

"Oh! Right by the way this is Levi!"

Y/N's gaze turned from Hange to Levi and she stretched out her hand. "Oh hi Levi." She said

"H-H-Hi.." Levi said, hand shaking as he placed it in her's. She giggled and Levi swore he felt her thumb rub the back of his hand.

"Well, I better go look for Sasha. I can't go back to our room till she's with me. Come across the hall later I'll probably still be there."

"Sure, sounds good!" Hange replied

Y/N smiled, "Nice to see you again Erwin, Bye Levi."

Levi could've sworn up and down that Y/N had said his name differently. She had to have right? Her tone was so sultry.. the words ran through Levi's brain replying over and over. Shivers coursing up and down his spine-

"I can't tell if Levi looks red from the strobe lights or if he's flushed." Levi turned at Erwin's words cupping his face before grunting at how hot he felt.

Oh no..

"I can't believe you have crush on my friend!"

Levi felt his face grow even hotter. "I don't! Sh-shut up." He outwardly huffed over how pathetic he was being. His heart felt so heavy in his chest

"OH MY GOD SO CUTE!!" Surprisingly enough Hange caught the attention of a few people. "THIS'LL BE GREAT! I CAN BE YOUR WINGMAN!"

"Shut the fuck up Hange!" Levi practically growled. Erwin nodded to the people staring at them. "Shut up.. I-I don't have a crush on her.."

Hange finally stopped bouncing and weirdly fell silent as she stood staring at her best friend. "Fine, let's go across the hall then."

Levi's heart instantly fluttered. "But we just got here?" Erwin said, seemingly questioning his own weird reluctance to go across the hall when he definitely hated it here as much as Levi.

"No real reason. I mean. It's just that it's quieter over there. Everyone over there is just drinking and talking." Hange responded already walking towards the door. Levi felt his feet move without his consent practically bumping into Hange's back as he hurried out behind her. Erwin quickly following.

Hange knocked twice on the door across the hall. And the three of them walked in. And Levi didn't even realize how much of a relief it was to be here until the smell hit his noise and the peaceful chatter hit his ears.

Hange huffed but Levi barely noticed, his eyes scanning the room for Y/N.

"It's so quiet here. I'm not fond of this I might go back across the hall and you guys can stay here."

Erwin immediately protested, "We don't know anyone here."

"Yeah, but I didn't even get to enjoy the music!" Hange pouted stomping slightly like a child.

"You forced us to come now you have to stay with us." Erwin replied, "Besides-" he looked at Levi who was staring at three slightly cracked doors. "This could be way better."

"Soooooooo!" Hange smirked, elbowing Levi's shoulder.

Levi immediately tended up at the feeling. His gaze steely and cold. "What?"

"How are you gonna ask out Y/N?"

Levi's face betrayed him, turning a deep red at the spur of the moment question. "I'm not asking shit."

"Oh come on! I did not bring you two to this party for absolutely nothing exciting to happen."

"If you like her you should tell her Levi." Erwin replied honestly

Levi scowled, "I don't.."

"Yeah ok so let's pretend you're not talking out of your ass." Hange says, leading both boys over to the couch. "Nevermind we can't cause you're talking out of your ass."

"Tch."

"Is she even here?" Erwin asked

Levi did a quick look around once more just as you were coming out of the bedroom. A loud sigh falling off your lips.

"Hey!" She smiled "Didn't expect to see you guys so soon again."

"Oh yeah well, we just couldn't wait to see you again." Hange remarked ignoring the daggers Levi was sending her. "Come sit with us." Hange offers.

Y/N moves closer to sit between Hange and Erwin until Hange places a hand on her back. "No no no, you don't wanna sit here.. Erwin just let one rip. The whole room is gonna smell soon." She waved her hand in front of her nose and Erwin glared at her. "Sit next to Levi!" She offered

A part of Levi was genuinely thinking about how much Hange would sell for on Amazon while another part of him was relieved for the small plop of the seat next to him as you sat down. The way you reached forward to grab the tea cup you'd placed on the table.

It was easier now to see your curves and as much as Levi tried to hide his staring he couldn't help it. His eyes raking over every inch of your body he could see. Luckily you weren't paying attention to the way the tips of his ears grew redder by the second.

"You put her to sleep in someone else's room?" Hange laughed

"Well I think they're ordering another pizza so she's probably gonna wake up when she smells that."

And your smell.. Levi couldn't tell if it was your hair or your body but your smell was intoxicating right now. So mellow and sweet yet strong and vibrant.

"Uggghhh good cause I'm starving!"

Y/N laughed, "Ah I remember when I had to hear something like that every morning."

"That English class was way too early in the morning and you know it!" Hange laughed. Erwin had turned to his phone clearly more relaxed by the atmosphere.

"So, Levi what's your major?" Y/N suddenly turned to ask.

Levi blinked, then opened his mouth only to shut it again. His eyes were practically bulging and he felt like his face would melt off.

"He's business law." Hange helped clearly also holding in a laugh as Levi could only nod quietly.

"Oh. You know I know someone whose in-

"Y/N.. Where's my bed.." All four of you turned at once as a brown haired girl stumbled around in the space. "My bed.." she repeated staggering around.

"Ooo ok, you want you want your bed?" Y/N stood grabbing hold of the girl's waist. She giggled in delight and Y/N rubbed her back with a grin. "I'm gonna take Sasha downstairs."

"Are you going to come back?" Erwin asked and Levi was relieved in a way because he definitely wouldn't be able to get the words out.

"Mm, I don't think so. I'll see if she goes down easy then I might." She shrugged and Sasha giggled again. "Alright, time for bed." She chirped leading the girl in her arms out and soon far away from Levi's view.

He felt his stomach twist. Silently wishing he knew what being held like that by you felt like.

[kayluh1915]

Beautiful People

Paring(s): Pedro Pascal/Female Reader

Words: 5,378

Warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Disorder, Medication Discussions, Insecurities, and Panic Attacks.

You and Pedro have been secretly dating for a few months now after a chance meeting. You both agreed that it was time to reveal your relationship to the public and chose to do so by accompanying him at The Oscars, but your anxiety does a great job of making you think that you don't deserve it.

DISCLAIMER!

This story is based on the song Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran & Khalid, but this IS NOT a songfic. It just gave me this vibe of Pedro walking down the red carpet with someone who doesn't quite feel like they belong and he comforts her by saying he doesn't really belong either and proceeds to list why they're better off because of it. I dunno, It just sounded sweet.

As always, comments are welcomed and encouraged.

You can also follow me on Twitter if you'd like. My life is boring, but I might be able to make you laugh if I’m lucky.

Enjoy!

(PS: Pepe is a real person. He was my Spanish teacher my first semester of college... and yes, he really went to Cincinnati every Friday to gamble)

Read on AO3

My Masterlist

The frigid February air was like icicles on your skin, sending a full-blown shiver down your spine as you hurried out of the Science building and towards the dining hall. It was nearly noon and you’ve had only had a banana and a bottle of water this morning, so lunch sounded pretty great right about now… maybe a cup of hot cocoa as well.

The dining hall was about a three-minute walk from the Science building, more than enough time for the cold to seep through the layers of your coat and deep into your bones. The possibility of a cup of cocoa turned into an inevitability, you running for the hot beverage machine as soon as your student ID was swiped.

You sat at your usual spot, hanging your backpack on the back of the chair before taking a greedy sip of the hot drink. The warmth was a godsend, the sugary beverage warming your icy hands with a pleasant hum tumbling from your lips.

“You make noises like that in bed?” Someone asked, snapping you out of your warming daze. It was your roommate and closest friend, Lauren. You snorted at her remark, almost spitting out a sip of your drink.

“I thought you had Spanish class at noon?”

“Nah. It’s Friday, remember?”

“Oh yeah, gambling day.” Like you, Lauren was a music student. It was how you had met nearly four years ago. Like most music students, you both used the extra humanities credits you had earned in high school to bail you out of the required foreign language credit until university. You were doing fairly well so far, but it was because you had a decent teacher. She wasn’t the best, but she was alright.

Lauren’s was just… something else.

On the first day of class, he told his students to call him “Pepe” because he didn’t do the “formal shit.” He also said that there would never be a class on Friday’s because he goes up to Cincinnati to gamble with his buddies. Why he didn’t just put down that his classes were only on Monday and Wednesday were beyond you.

“Yeah. Whatever, though right?” Lauren continued. “I’m not complaining about one less day of class.” You smirked mischievously.

“No, but your Spanish is…” Lauren scoffed, only causing you to laugh harder into your cup.

“Bitch, you shut the fuck up. You can’t speak the damn language either.” You shrugged.

“You’re not wrong, but at least I’m learning more than you are with Pepe.” Lauren groaned.

“Fuck you. Come on, let’s grab some grub.” You stood up and grabbed your backpack, throwing away your empty drink cup to grab something to eat. You settled on your usual favorite and sat back down with Lauren who had somehow already made it halfway through her plate.

“God, slow down.” You teased as you hung your backpack back on the chair.

“I didn’t eat breakfast this morning. Cut a bitch a break.” You shook your head, digging into your own plate, but at a much slower pace. You both sat in comfortable silence, enjoying your meals as the indecent chatter of the surrounding students and meme music playing from the jukebox continued on.

“So,” Lauren said, breaking the silence as she sat down her drink. “What are you doing this weekend?” You froze at her question but played it off the best you could. Any hint of hesitation would send her into a frenzy of questions that you weren’t prepared to answer.

“I’m going in to see Mom. Maybe stop by my Mamaw’s too.” Lauren’s shoulders slumped.

“Damn, that’s too bad. Devon invited us over to his Oscar watch party tomorrow night. Figured you might want to come along since you’re into that sort of thing.” 

You swallowed hard at the mention of The Oscars. Just play it cool… don’t. fucking. panic.

“Normally I would, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen Mom. You know how she gets when I don’t come to visit for a while.” Lauren nodded her head in understanding, knowing full well of how your Mom was after living with you for two years.

Little did she know that you had just seen your mother last weekend.

“I understand, boo. I’ll let him know you can’t make it. When are you leaving?”

“As soon as I’m done here. I packed my stuff this morning so I could just go. Trying to beat the traffic as much as possible.” She nodded in understanding.

“Well, I hope you have a good time with your Mom. Say hi to her for me, will you?” You internally sighed a breath in relief. How your big mouth managed to keep him a secret all this time let alone this was beyond you, but you managed to pull it off somehow.

“Yeah, sure.”

After you finished eating, you hugged Lauren goodbye and went back to your dorm long enough to drop off the books you didn’t need and pick up your suitcase. You went through your mental checklist one last time and locked your door behind you as you left.

You unlocked your car and threw your stuff into the backseat, making your way towards the interstate as soon as you left the college.

Home was about a two or three-hour drive down south, but where you were really going was about a 40-minute drive north. You put on some music as you cruise down the interstate, your nervousness slowly increasing the closer you got to your destination.

Your hands shook on the steering wheel, you bounced your left knee furiously, and you were biting your lip… pretty hard. You thought about reaching into your purse for the “take as needed” anxiety medication your psychiatrist prescribed you but decided to hold off on it a little longer. Maybe it’d taper off when you got to the airport.

It didn’t.

You had flown before, but that had been years ago when your micro home town had some kind of festival thing and gave free airplane rides. This commercial airline stuff was something entirely new to you which was already nerve wreaking, but the unexpected bustle of such a smaller airport made it worse.

Weeks before when you first booked the flight to Los Angles, you did as much research as possible to make sure that you knew the “norms” and guidelines of all the airports you were going to since there were no direct flights available. You were as prepared as anyone could be, but you were still extremely nervous and all the foot traffic only made it worse.

You went through security without any qualms and took a seat to wait for your flight to begin boarding. You pulled out your phone and texted your Mom and Lauren before someone walked up to you in your peripheral.

“Excuse, miss?” You looked up from your phone to come face to face with an older gentleman. He looked to be in his early 50’s with salt and peppered hair and a kind smile. He asked you your name and you confirmed with a nod.

“Sorry to disturb you, but your private flight is prepared to depart whenever you’re ready, Miss.”

...Excuse you, what?

“P-Private flight? But I-... I paid for an American Airlines flight.” The man nodded.

“Yes, but Mr. Pascal has sent a private jet to retrieve you. He was fairly insistent to make sure that you boarded.” You sighed heavily. You told him that a two-stop economy flight that you paid for was more than fine, but the thought of you doing anything like a normal person seemed to bother him for some reason.

“Okay. I-I guess I’m ready to go then.” The man smiled.

“Of course, Miss. May I take your bags for you?” You hesitated.

You had never been waited on like this before and you weren’t quite sure how to feel or respond to it. You were perfectly capable of carrying your own stuff and this guy probably wasn’t getting paid enough to carry some lucky college student’s stuff, but was it rude to say no even if you did so in a polite manner? So, you just agreed and handed him over your suitcase and backpack.

You followed him outside and over to a small commercial jet, a woman who looked to be around her mid 30’s standing right by the entrance of the aircraft.

“Welcome aboard, Miss. I’m Kendall Bishop and I’m your captain for today. If you’ll go ahead and take a seat and buckle your seat belt, we’ll depart shortly. I do ask, however, that you remain seated and keep your seat belt fastened until Mr. Clements informs you that it is safe to move about the cabin. Do you have any questions for me before we begin our descent?”

You smiled politely at her and shook your head.

Upon entering the cabin, you were at a complete loss for words. It was easily the fanciest thing you’d ever seen. Leather seats, stocked alcohol shelves, an endless assortment of snacks, a TV, even a fucking bed of all things. The man, Mr. Clements you assumed, gestured towards the seat closest to you. You sat down and buckled your seat belt like you were told to do.

Mr. Clements then reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope, gesturing for you to take it.

“Mr. Pascal requested I hand this to you as soon as you board.” You took the envelope out of his hands, looking down at it with a curious gaze. On the back of it had your name scribbled onto it in familiar handwriting. You’d know it anywhere after reading so many letters from him.

“Please enjoy your flight and let us know if there’s anything we can do for you.” You thanked him with another nod, turning the envelope around and tearing it open. The plane prepared to take off as you read.

Mi Abeja,

I know you wanted and paid for a normal flight, but the academy offered to fly you to me privately last second. I was going to ask you if you were okay with it, but you were in class and your phone was off and I had to let them know something before my table read this morning. You work and study so hard and deserve to be pampered so I told them yes. They reimbursed what you paid for your ticket and I’ll give that to you once you get here.

I hope the unexpected change didn’t spike your anxiety too much. I know you’re nervous about this whole thing to begin with and I probably just made it worse. I’m sorry if I did.

 I’ll be there to pick you up as soon as you land at LAX.

Love you,

Pedro. <3 <3 

Your heart soared at his words, leaning back in your seat and looking out of the nearby window just in time to watch the plane lift up from the runway.

________________________

Four hours later, Mr. Clements informed you that you would be landing shortly. Your heart leaped up in your chest as you put your phone back into your backpack and fastened your seat belt.

It had been a few weeks since you’d last seen him and you were nearly vibrating with excitement by the time the wheels touched down on the runway. Mr. Clements offered to take your things again. You still weren’t sure if it was rude to turn him down or not and you didn’t want to ask and risk looking like a moron, so you agreed and handed over your backpack.

The captain opened up the door and exchanged pleasantries with you as you stepped off the plane, but you barely heard her over the pounding of your own heart. As soon as you looked up from the ramp, you saw him. He was there just like he promised he’d be, standing by his car and wearing his favorite pair of sunglasses all while smiling at you with that blinding smile.

Your sneakers barely touched the tarmac before you were sprinting for him. He held out his arms for you and made a small sound when you collided with him, wrapping your arms around his neck and laying your head on his chest. One of his hands caressed the back of your head, holding you to him tightly as the other one held on to your waist.

“I’ve missed you so much, Abeja.” He muttered against the crown of your head. You let go of him long enough to reach up and kiss him, tangling your hand into his dark curls. “Did you have a good flight?” He asked after you pulled away.

“I did. I was a little nervous at first, but I’m okay now.” Pedro gave you a saddened look.

“I’m sorry. I know it was unexpected and didn’t mean to hike you up, I just figured yo-” You put your hand over his mouth.

“It wasn’t your fault, Pedro. I’m just… not used to this… any of it.” He placed a gentle kiss to your fingers, taking your wrist into his hand and gently taking it off of his mouth.

“Please tell me you at least ate something.“ You nodded.

“I ate with Lauren before I left for the airport. She actually invited me to an Oscar watch party this guy named Devon is hosting. I played it cool just like we practiced, but it took everything in me not to freak out.” Pedro giggled, pressing a kiss to your nose.

“Isn’t she in for a surprise?” You barely smiled, nodding gently. You’ve been trying not to think about it, but the idea of you being on display to the entire world made your stomach churn and your knees weak. You were just a first-generation college student from the middle of nowhere, yet here you are in the arms of Pedro Pascal about to walk down the runway of the most prestigious award show in less than 24 hours.

“... Yeah.” You eventually answered. Pedro noticed the change in your demeanor and frowned, placing a kiss on the wrist he was still holding and caressing it gently with his thumb.

“We don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to, you know? We can always go with plan B.” You shook your head vigorously.

“No, no, no! I-I want people to know… I just… all so new.” Pedro smiled at you sympathetically, brushing a stray piece of hair away from your face.

“Just promise you’ll let me know if it ever becomes too much for you. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.” You look up into his mocha gaze, the butterflies in your stomach making you forget about your self-doubt if only for a few seconds.

“I promise.”

________________________

That evening you were curled up with Pedro in the hotel bed, empty take-out containers discarded onto the nearby nightstand as you watched The Shining together. He was fully engrossed in the movie, his fingers idly playing with your hair. You had tried to focus on the movie. You really did, but you’ve seen the damn thing a million times. Laughing at memes on Reddit sounded more appealing so that’s what you were doing.

“You know, I really miss you when you’re not with me.” Pedro said after a while. You looked up from your phone and up at his face.

“I miss you too. Music school sucks and I can’t cuddle Lauren… well, I can but it would be awkward.” Pedro laughed, caressing your cheek with his knuckle.

“Tomorrow, our stylists will be here around noon. I know you’re going to be nervous all day and will probably avoid eating, so I’m going to make sure you get up with me and eat a proper breakfast.” You groaned quietly.

“You won’t let me sleep in? Even on a Saturday?” You fake-pouted. Pedro tapped your nose gently with his finger.

“Not when tomorrow is such an important day. I don’t want you nervous on an empty stomach.” You both went back to what you were doing for a minute.

“You did bring your medication, didn’t you?” You hesitated before nodding.

“Yes.”

“Good. You’ll have something in case it gets too intense. Getting you to take it will be another story, though.” You didn’t say anything, favoring instead to raise up from your reclined position to swing your leg over his waist to straddle him. His hands instantly went to your hips, gently caressing them with his large hands.

“You’re so beautiful, Abeja.” He said after a while of looking you over and running his hands over your body. You smiled at him and leaned down to give him a kiss. It was pretty standard as far as kisses go, but when you pulled away you were both looking at one another with a fiery intent and slowly went back in for another. This one searing and far more passionate.

Pedro groaned deep in his throat as your tongues collide, the kiss deepening far beyond your original intent.

You weren’t complaining.

________________________

Pedro’s alarm going off scared the living hell out of you. You had been awake since 4 am, trying your best to go back to sleep, but it just never happened. When you finally gave up around 6:30, you grabbed your backpack and sat at the desk the hotel provided and did your weekend homework. You hadn’t realized that you were that engrossed in it until his alarm buzzed you out of it.

He groaned quietly and reached over to silence it, rolling back over and reaching out to the other side of the bed looking for you. When he noticed that you were gone, he raised up from the sheets and looked around the room. His hair was an absolute nightmare, sticking up in various directions as he stretched out his back and yawned loudly.

“Thought you wanted to sleep in.” He teased after he found you at the desk.

“You said you were going to wake me up early. Figured I might get some work done.” Concern then donned on his brow.

“Honey, how long have you been up?”

“Not long,” you lie. “I wanted to get some work done so I just got up at my usual time.” Pedro got out of bed and padded over to you, rubbing your shoulders and placing a kiss atop your head.

“You work too hard. You should take a break while you can.” You lolled your head back, Pedro’s hands rubbing your shoulders feeling absolutely amazing.

“I’ll do whatever you say as long as you keep doing that.” He laughed, kissing your cheek and heading to the bathroom.

________________________

You didn’t want to question the professional, you really didn’t. But after the third layer of concealer, you just had to.

“That’s a lot of concealer.” The makeup artist laughed.

“I know, I’m sorry. Use some cream for those bags next time and I promise you won’t need as much.”

You didn’t speak after that, allowing the hair and makeup artist to finish you up while they gossiped back and forth with each other. They made other side comments like that to you here and there. They weren’t necessarily rude so you couldn’t really say anything, but they did little for your already rock-bottom self-esteem.

The artist put a dark shade of lipstick on your lips, making a triumphant noise when she finished.

“Didn’t have the best canvas, but you look fabulous sweetheart! Smile with your mouth closed and you’ll be a knockout!” The makeup artist and hairstylist gathered up their things, leaving you sitting there in your robe staring at the floor and hoping they leave fast.

When they finally left, you got up from the bed and walked over to the full-bodied mirror. You showed your teeth and started looking over them. You never thought they looked too bad. Sure, they were crooked and had some spacing, but they were okay. Braces were expensive and playing a brass instrument with braces is a death sentence for lips.

What if you were wrong about them looking okay all this time? Maybe you should have taken out that loan and a semester off to fix your teeth…

Your stylist came in shortly after. He was quieter than the others had been and much nicer which you were thankful for as you changed into the white dress they had picked for you. When you came out, the stylist smiled and hooped.

“You look gorgeous!” You finished off your look with matching jewelry and a clutch purse, sitting down on the bed to put on your heels.

“It took me forever to find a pair of acceptable wedges for you, sweetheart. I don’t know why you didn’t just tough it out for one night, but hey. I get it. Country girls don’t like heels and that’s okay! It worked out.”

Again, not necessarily rude… but damn.

________________________

You were waiting in the lobby for Pedro to come out, bouncing your leg nervously and trying to remember not to touch your eyes or bite your lip because of the makeup. When you saw him step off the elevator, your breath caught in your throat. His hair was slicked back and his facial hair neatly trimmed, the black velvet suit hugging his broad shoulders perfectly.

“Wow…” He muttered, looking you up and down. “You look absolutely stunning, Abeja.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” You replied, playing with his bow tie.

“Hey, hey, no. Don’t touch it. I don’t know how to tie it back if it comes loose.” You laughed and shook your head.

“Fine… I’ll unwrap my present later.” Pedro’s own breath caught as you winked up at him. He cleared his throat and composed himself, offering you his arm.

“Ready?” You swallowed and nodded, taking his arm for him to escort you.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

________________________

You were in line for the red carpet, the flashing cameras of the paparazzi already blinding and you were still pretty far back. Your stomach churned, a wave of nausea rising up but nothing happening. Pedro took your shaking hand into his and squeezed it gently.

“You okay?” He asked, noticing how tense you were and only grew worse the closer you got.

“... fine.”

“Plan B’s still an option if you need it, Abeja. You have your medicine you can take too.” You shook your head, looking back at him to flash him a smile.

“I’m good.” You could tell that he didn’t buy your bullshit. Not even for a moment. He didn’t say anything, though, opting only to lift your hand and press a kiss to the back of it.

“I’ll be right there beside you the entire time, honey. If at any point you feel uncomfortable or need to leave, you let me know.” You nodded at him, accepting a kiss from him before looking back out the window of the limo.

Your turn came up way sooner than you would have liked, the greeter opening up the limo door as soon as the car stopped and allowing Pedro to step out into the public eye. The photographers went nuts, the flashing lights and screams from fans intimidating you more than you thought they would.

What the fuck were you thinking? You’re just some tired ass music student. You don’t belong here with all these people.

You almost chickened out and stayed in the car but when Pedro turned towards you and offered his hand you took it anyway even though your mind was screaming for you not to. Just the gentle touch of his calloused hand on yours grounded you enough to carefully step out of the limo, making sure that nothing happens to your dress.

You could hear the sounds of the crowd die down for a moment as they all started muttering to themselves. Your hand was shaking in Pedro’s larger one, the photographers gasping as soon as they saw your face. They started taking pictures faster than they ever had. The bombardment of flashing lights blinded you for a moment, but you adjusted to them quickly.

Pedro let go of your hand and put it on your back, gently leading you where you’re supposed to go.

“Okay?” He asked as he wrapped his arm around you and brought you close. You nodded. You weren’t comfortable in the slightest, but it wasn’t the worst thing ever. While both of you posed for pictures, people from the group of photographers said a lot of things to both of you. Some were kind, others were funny and got a good laugh out of you. There were also a few who were very rude, but they had been pushed aside by the others.

Overall, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you were expecting… but you were glad it was over.

________________________

You were standing aside checking your phone while Pedro did an interview with some of the press. He had offered you to be with him, but the red carpet had been more than enough fame for you. Your phone was on “do not disturb” mode, but you could still see all the notifications coming in. Your Mom, Dad, Lauren, and other friends bombarding you with messages basically asking what the fuck. You didn’t have the time to reply, so you didn’t open any of them.

Once Pedro was done with his interviews, he escorted you into the main hall where he introduced you to some of his friends and colleagues along the way. You considered it an honor to meet the people most only ever dreamed of, but you knew you didn’t deserve it. Someone else should be here, not you.

When you found your seats, Pedro offered you his hand. You took it and allowed him to seat you before he took his next to you and wrapped his arm around the back of the seat. The show started shortly after.

________________________

“And the Oscar goes to…” You held onto Pedro’s hand tightly as they opened up the envelope, your shaking hands encased in his. He had told you when he had been nominated that he didn’t expect to win it, but you could tell he had some hope as he tensely watched them read the card.

“Pedro Pascal.” You jumped up with Pedro, hugging him tightly as the audience broke out in cheers.

“You deserve it!” You told him, breaking away to give him a quick kiss. You watched him run up stage and accept the golden statue, walking up to the microphone with a few chuckles as he looked over the award.

“Wow, this is uhhh… this is incredible. Truly amazing.” He started. “I’d like to thank the Academy for this honor, my Mom and Dad who worked hard to raise me right and who supported me. My brother and two sisters for being there for me, mi Abeja for loving me unconditionally, and just… so many others. There are so many people in my life who have helped me get to this milestone and if I were to thank all of you, we’d be here all night. I love you all so very much and this truly… a dream come true. Thank you.

The crowd stands up and cheers loudly. You wanted to, but you were too busy trying to make sure your makeup doesn’t run down your face with a tissue from your clutch. Eventually, you give up trying and decide to go to the bathroom just to make sure everything still looks fine.

Your makeup looked just as flawless as it had before. You wish you would have known that the artist had used waterproof makeup so you could’ve properly celebrated Pedro’s achievement, but oh well. While you were there, you decided to use the bathroom. You didn’t have to go that bad, but might as well take care of it while you’re here.

While you were relieving yourself, you heard two other women come in.

“-ld for her. He needs to settle down with someone like us and around his age. Not some college student.” You froze solid when they realized that they were talking about you.

“I know. She isn’t even that pretty. Did you see her teeth? Do they not have braces where she comes from?”

“For real. Her body’s not that great either. Looks like she comes straight from the shack or something.”

“Wonder if that’s where he found her?” They both giggle.

“Either way, she doesn’t belong here.” You knew they were right, but you just couldn’t bare to listen anymore, pulling your underwear back up and fixing your dress after you flush the toilet.

You then run out of the bathroom, not even looking to see who the women were. It didn’t matter, though. They were right. You should have never came here and you couldn’t stay any longer.

You walked back to your seat and gently tugged on Pedro’s sleeve.

“C-Can we go… Please?” You ask, your voice shaking just as much as your hands. Pedro got up instantly when he saw the look on your face, grabbing his trophy, coat and your clutch. He didn’t ask questions as he placed his hand to the small of your back and began to escort you out of the theater.

By the time you got back into the limo you felt like you couldn’t breathe. The voices around you sounding like water as your vision became black around the edges. Oh God, is this what feels lie to die? You couldn’t die. Not now! You had so much to do, so much t-

Something extremely cold suddenly touched your face, the blackness around your vision fading slightly as you looked up to whoever had put something so damn cold on you.

You were instantly met with the warm eyes of your boyfriend, concern laced on his brow as he gently dabbed a cold washcloth over your face. You could see his mouth moving, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying over the pounding of your heart, but it eventually calmed down enough to where you could begin to hear him.

“There we go, bee… that’s it sweetheart. Nice and easy.” Your breathing slowly calmed down, Pedro cradling you in his arms as your panic attack faded.

“I should have never come here…” You muttered. “I don’t belong here. All these fancy dresses, the flashing cameras, nice cars… I don’t deserve any of this.” Pedro placed a kiss to your forehead.

“Don’t say things like that, Abeja. You deserve this just as much as anyone. And as far as not belonging, trust me when I say I don’t either. And, frankly, I’m fine with that. All of these designer clothes, the mindless gossip, the broken homes, being surrounded by so many but still alone? That’s not really a life worth living. The world of Beautiful People is a lonely life, one that I would rather not live.”

You wasn’t sure what to say, so you just didn’t say anything, curling up as close as you could to him.

He made you take a dose of your anxiety medication when you got back to the hotel, taking it with a swig of water before laying down and curling up close to him. You laid your head on his shoulder, the sounds of his breathing and the gentle feeling of his hand caressing your own shoulder lulling you.

Right before you doze off, you heard him say:

“No matter what any of them has said, you’re perfect the way you are and deserve everything.”

________________________

You wake up the next morning still wrapped up in his arms. You lay there for a while just talking and enjoying one another’s company before he finally got up to use the bathroom.

You reach for your phone on the nightstand, turning off “do not disturb” mode for the first time since yesterday afternoon.

Your phone was overloaded. Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, everywhere was flooded. You didn’t even know where to begin.

Eventually, you just give up trying to put a dent into anything and returned Lauren’s list of missed calls. She answered on the second ring.

“You tell me every little detail, you sneaky bitch. And I mean everything!”

[oki-writes]

Word count: 1.3k

Summary: You and Kageyama have a child together. Living life as third years and teen parents.

Warning: teen pregnancy and cursing (looking at you Tsukki and Kags)

Your POV.

“Tobio how do I look” you spin in place showing off your new uniform for your third year.

Kageyama reply’s with a simply fine, while wrapping his arms around you.

Nobody’s POV.

Walking into your son’s room you start to get his day bag ready. Diapers, bottles, extra clothes, toys, wipes, and snacks. Lastly you put some extra cash for Miwa just in case.

Once finished you set out to dress Hiroto. Settling with a simply white button up and black shorts. Aiming to not make him stick out when he gets drop out at school later in the day.

The only reason for this though was because you were an A+ student. Also your afternoon class wasn't really academic based since you told most of them during your break. All you had to worry about was after school with the volleyball club since you were the manager along with Yachi. But, that was to worry about later. Your little family was ready for their first day of their last year of school.

Your POV.

“Miwa you sure you got Hiroto. I can always stay hom-“

“No you get to school. I’ll drop him off at lunch for you. Now get, don't be late. This is your last year, enjoy it because last year you really couldn’t. Now not but go on” Miwa said while pushing you out the door.

“Kags I don’t want to leave him, let’s go back home”

Kageyama just glanced at you with the look that said “keep walking or I’ll drag you”. I wonder how everyone on the team is going to react seeing Hiroto for the first time in a while. Ohhh. I forgot we have first years, it’s going to be so awkward to explain to them. Calm down (y/n) you got this. This is your years so own it.

“Um (n/n) what are you thinking about, you look stupid right now with that face”

“Oh shit up Tobio, I’m just thinking about having to explain to the new first years in the club about our child that’s all” you gripped his hand.

“Okay boke”

Wow I hadn’t seen the school for a while hopefully I don’t get lost. I’m sure they remodeled it looks different. Now where’s my class...ummm oh class 3-5.

“Bye babe see you later” I gave Kageyama a kiss and walked into class. Surprisingly I was pretty early and the only other people inside the room were Yachi, Yams, and Tsukki. I noticed they haven’t seen me come in, so being the great friend I was I creep behind Tsukki and...jumped on his back like a maniac.

“Oi who the fu- (Y/N)!!!!”

“Hey pals”

After the funny reunion people started to pile inside the classroom. Some of my classmates walked up to me and congratulated me for giving birth. Even the teacher that I recognized was my first year teacher, they must’ve been moved up to third years. Class started after everyone reintroduced themselves. At the end my teacher wanted to see the pictures of Hiroto that I have, so of course I showed them. As everyone said before “He looks just like Kageyama just with your eyes”. After that I got a text from Miwa saying she was at the front office to drop off Hiroto. I excused myself and left to pick up my son. Surprisingly Tobio was there waiting for me with Hiroto in his arms.

Your POV.

“Hey babe, I would have gotten him. I thought you wanted to practice some before school ended.”

“I did, but some of our friends wanted to see him and I was about to text you to meet me at the gym to have lunch with them.”

After the clarification, we guys walked to the gym. Hiroto was taking a nap when he got dropped off. I was planning to wake him up when we got there. After a few minutes we reach our friends inside.

“Hey guys we’re here sorry for being late”

“It’s fine” Hinata yelled then looking at the sleeping baby in Tobio’s arms

“I’m so sorry for yelling. I didn’t know he was asleep, Kageyama don’t hurt me” Hinata ran behind Yachi to avoid getting hit.

“Shoyo it’s fine I was about to wake him up anyways to eat or should I say drink” I walked up to Tobio and started to wake up Hiroto. He opened his big eyes and started to look around the room. He recognized Yachi since she came over a lot to help me with my studies after I gave birth.

After giving him his bottle I put him down onto the blanket we set out and let him crawl around. The conversation we had all together was basically about how Tobio was feeling about being a father. Also some funny moments that I told our friend group. For instance, me waking up at 2am because Tobio couldn’t remember how to make a bottle and failing miserably to the point he woke up the whole house screaming “(Y/N) HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE A BOTTLE” or the time Hiroto throw up on him right after he got out the shower.

Tobio of course didn’t want me to say any of that and called me boke the whole time. But, I thought it was cute.

After that funny conversation, I looked and didn't see my son with us anymore. “WHERE IS HIROTO” after I shouted that Tsukki walked back to us with Hiroto in his arms, stating that he was by the volleyballs trying to play with them. I thanked Tsukki for finding him and looked at Kags because he was just asleep. But, I can’t be that mad since he was up all last night with Hiroto.

Soon the bell rang signaling we had to go back to class. Yams and Tsukki went back to our classroom, while Yachi and I walked to the music room since we both got the afternoon free of academic class till next semester. The music room was pretty much quite beside the small orchestra that was playing. We decided to work on some homework while Hiroto played with some of the first years inside the room. I looked over checking on him and saw that he needed a diaper change. Apparently a first year had a baby sister and he offered to change him while I continued my homework.

An hour later the small orchestra left and Yachi suggested we go to the little garden at the back of the school since we finish our homework and plan what we’re going to do for the volleyball club today.

Nobody’s POV.

Yachi and (y/n) with Hiroto in Yachi’s arms reached the garden. Going over some activities they could do with the first years to make them feel included with the teams. Pulling out the list of people who were in the teams you guys started to try to remember all the names.

1st years:

Misuki Kenji

Otauka Jiro

Kudo Eito

Ando Ren

2nd years:

Ono Yokuto

Mori Koji

Sato Hisato

3rd years:

Kageyama Tobio

Hinata Shoyo

Tsukishima Kei

Yamaguchi Tadashi (Captain)

Managers:

HitokaYachi

Kuroo (Y/N)

From what the papers say a lot of these players came from power house schools so that’s a plus. So today instead of a team valuation, they planned a team bonding activity. You guys went over a list of different activities they could do and decided on two. One is just a pass and toss and the other is just a 6 v 6 match. After going over the finishing touches you guys started to make your way to the court to set up.

The bell rang and the first one there was Yams and then the other third years arrived. They already changed into their gym clothes and Kags came up to you and grabbed Hiroto from you. Later the second years arrived, they congratulated you again for having Hiroto. Now the first years were all that’s left.

“Hello is this the gym for the volleyball club”

Next.

Hey guys this the first chapter in my first every series. I’m still working on a update schedule but I plane to at least have one ch. per week even more if possible.

Also I usually do I have Spanish word of the day and today’s work is crow: el cuervo

@humanitysbiggestsimp @french-girl-online @yeehawslap

[sweetcheol]

college boyfriend!sehun

—genre: fluff

—au: college, friends to lovers

—pairing: oh sehun x reader

—song to listen to while reading: fall again — klang

—word count: 2.2k

—warning(s): mentions of sex, sehunnie being the best boyfriend ever, choking on chips ??? (but it’s nothing bad, i promise)

sehun was your netflix binging partner before he was even your friend

okay ... he was your netflix binging partner before you even knew his name

you guys were in an ethics class together

and it was one of those common classes everyone in uni had to take no matter their major, so it was like 60 of you in a huge ass classroom

so you resorted to the only alternative to keeping you awake during 2 hour long, powerpoint based, boring lectures: 

yoy got the best out of your netflix subscription plan

god bless airpods bc you could just hide them with your hair and nobody ever noticed anything

except for sehun

who conveniently sat one seat to the left on the row above you

so he had the perfect view to your laptop screen

and had watched the whole fifth season of peaky blinders with you

of course he never told you bc that... that would have been kind of weird

so he just kept to himself and tried his best to keep on being your anonymous netflix partner

he had even started to buy himself some snacks to munch on during class and was truly living his best life

until you finished peaky blinders ... and were about to start watching crash landing on you

sehun just ... sehun loved that show, okay?

so when he saw the intro pop on your laptop he started choking on his shrimp chips, creating a commotion

like ... even the professor stopped talking and asked him if he was okay, causing everyone to turn around and face him

red-faced, choking him

even you, who had paused the show and turned around in your seat so quickly he thought you’d cracked your neck

and in that moment, sehun did the only thing he could think of

which in that case meant bolting straight out of the classroom coughing like a madman

and just like the concerned netflix partner classmate you were, you had walked out right after him

“yah! don’t run, let me help you!”

and tbh ... sehun had never expected to turn around and come face to face with you, holding a bottle of water for him to sip on

that alone helped him stop coughing

he reluctantly accepted the water while turning beet red in the face

so the two of you sat down on a set of stairs that were near the classroom while sehun drank his water

he was trying his best to zone you out, eyes set on the floor and only focusing on the bottle in his hand

bc that had been ... embarrassing, to say the least

and he had asked you, in the smallest voice possible to please wait until class was over to pick ur things up bc he didn’t wanna go in and then interrupt the lecture again

so you granted him his wish

and when people started piling out of the classroom, you were like well

and sehun didn’t even say anything to u before he walked back inside, took his backpack with him and walked away

so you were like ???? as you stashed your laptop in ur bag and walked back to your dorm

you didn’t see him the next class

and since the room was so big you were like wtf did he sit someplace else

you couldn’t even watch your show in peace that day bc ... what had you even done to him

the lesson after that ... you were resigned

whatever was his problem you wouldn’t mind

but then someone placed a blue thunder gatorade on your desk with a hot pink post it pasted on the cap

“spare airpod ???”

and sehun was sat on the chair next to yours, drinking from his own gatorade bottle while he waited for your response

so you fished the earbuds from your bag and extended your hand, one of them resting on your palm

sehun took it

and the two of you watched the third episode of the show together

the two of u didn’t speak much though

he’d muttered a soft “thank you” when returning the airpod when class was done and that was it

but then he sat next to you the following lesson

and the next one

and the next one

a couple of weeks after that he started giving you bags of chips and cookies alongside the gatorade

until you had finished a couple of dramas

... and the semester

the two of you were quite bummed the last day of classes

bc neither of you had seen the other one in any other classes so you were sure you weren’t in the same major

and sehun had only said “it was very nice meeting you” after the last class was over

and that was it

or u thought

until half-way through the summer, you had finally found enough willpower to clean your backpack

and had found a cute little note on the bottom of it

from none other but your cute, tall classmate

“maybe we could hang out and actually talk sometime?” alongside his phone number

and at first you were like oh a month has gone by, he won’t remember me

but then you wrote a simple “hey, it’s (y/n) from ethics”

and sehun almost ... choked once again when he read it

bc he though you just weren’t going to text him at all

and so the two of you started talking

he was very funny and easy-going, so you became friends pretty fast

you texted all through-out the summer

and ofc sehun told chanyeol, his best friend and roomate, about it

which prompted chanyeol to tease him 24/7 abt how he should just ask you out

and sehun was like “it’s not like that”

but everyone could see it was like that

so sehun was like ... okay i might

and he was like “so i was thinking ... maybe we could go to the movies”

and you were like !!!!!! red code !!!!!! alert !!!!!! oh my gOD 

bc you had been like ... crushing on him ever since the chip incident

and answered him like “yeah that’d be nice” 

a few days after you went to the movies

and were both a mess at first but the date actually turned out pretty well bc you went for dinner afterwards and everything ran out pretty smoothly

sehun was like OOOOOOH YEAH I’M UR BOYFRIEND NOW ... right after he walked you to your door

but you weren’t complaining bc you liked him a lot too

SO NOW

onto the relationship

ngl you are like low-key done with him the week after you start dating bc he is ... a little shit

like if he feels he isn’t getting enough attention he’ll go like “(y/n) that’s so unfaiiiiiiiiir”

but then he’ll start playing around with vivi and you’re standing there like okAY

and if you tell him he’ll get all sassy and go like “i knEW u just can’t live without me”

but then when you spend enough time with vivi and he starts running to you instead of sehun ... he goes like “wAIT (y/n) he’s MY son wtf”

but inside he’s like “that’s OUR son oh my god” 

gets low-key jealous of all the lead actors of the dramas you watch together

like suddenly you’ll turn around and he’s pouting 

but he forgets about it halfway through the episode

even though you two aren’t in the same class anymore he likes studying together

and is always buying snacks for your study dates

he’ll study for like 15 min and then will start pouting bc he wants kisses

wears a lot of hoodies and sweatpants but will also clean up somedays bc he wants to look nice for you

will very subtly leave his hoodies at your dorm

he thinks it’s romantiquè

and you’re very grateful for it bc he’s very tall and thus his hoodies are very cozy

you kinda want to kill him sometimes but he’s definitely the kind of guy that calls you at three am just because he wants to talk to you“i just wanted to hear your voice”

and he’s just laying in his bed smiling like a fool while you tell him about your day

you both end up constantly falling asleep over the phone but neither of you mind

and then chanyeol enters the apartment and sees him passed out on the couch with his phone in hand and your name on his screen 

it’s safe to say sehun’s not going to live it down

i don’t think he’d be a big fan of pda

so in public, you kinda only hold hands

he might give you a little kiss from time to time but that’s pretty much it

oh but in private ... he can’t keep his hands off you

and your butt

he gives the best hugs ever??? and it doesn’t help that he loves hugging you

forehead kisses

so so so many forehead kisses

definitely takes advantage of his height

for that, and for placing stuff on high places so that he has to help you on getting them down

lowkey touches your butt when he’s doing it

okay but when you’re ... doing the do

sehun’s a switch

i feel like he’d either be such a whiny sub or a very ... whiny dom (but he’d still be very soft ngl) 

(i mean he’s the spoiled maknae for a reason)

favorite thing ever is when you ride him and he can just hold your hips really tight and guide your movements so they can match his

moans so fucking loud you’re sure your entire floor can hear the two of you

i’m not sure he’d be a very kinky lover

like i feel he’d be pretty vanilla

but i mean ... he dances ... his hips can ... do things

so it’s not like it’s anything bad, you know ????

a huge fan of hickeys

but on more ... private places

like he’ll never leave one on your neck

but your chest is a completely different story

bc he doesn’t leave them so that people can see them

he leaves them so he can see them and remind himself that you’re his

that you chose him

that was really sappy

he’s a dance major

and he’s always asking you to go with him to practices

both bc he loves being with you and bc he likes it when you watch him dance

he’s a tease and we all know it

he’d run his hands over his hair and smirk all the time bc he knows you’re looking at him

sometimes he even takes off his shirt and acts like it’s just bc of the heat

and you blush so hard and he’s just like 😌

but also when he has a show or presentation or something

he gets so so so so nervous

but then he spots you in the crowd and just smile a bit bc you’re there, supporting him, and that’s all that matters

his phone background is this selfie the two of you with face masks on

you had your hair up in a bun and both of you were lounging in sweats

you had been playing around with snapchat filters and accidentally took the sweetest photo ever

so he asked you to send it to him

and he set it up as both his lock screen and his home screen

yours is a mirror selfie you took when you were watching him practice

you were taking a photo and when sehun noticed he came to give you a kiss on the cheek

and it was the sweetest thing ever

he literally sends you each and every selfie he takes

and sometimes goes like “hey does this look okay?”

and sometimes it’s more like “your boyfriend is so hot wth”

and just as he takes so many selfies so he can send them to you

he also likes taking photos with you

literally everywhere you two go

he either takes a selfie or asks someone to take a picture of you

and everyone he asks always thinks you’re the most adorable couple ever

bc the love you two have for each other is like so obviously there

and he gets so soft whenever people tell him that

even when it’s chanyeol who says it

truth is chanyeol loves you because of how happy you make sehun

he once told you when you got back home from a club

and like ... you were kinda, slightly, a little bit drunk

and hearing him say that only made you feel like you were walking on clouds even more

bc if anyone asked you to describe just how happy sehun made you ... you were sure you weren’t going to find enough words to describe the feeling

even though he usually is like hell yeah i’m a cool bf

he gets really sappy at night (and when’s drunk) 

and goes on and on about how much he loves you and he’s happy he found you

bc you always get that look in your eyes that make his heart melt

bc he’s the sweetest boyfriend ever

and it doesn’t help that he’s my ult bias bc i reallyyyyyyyy wanna date college!boyfriend sehun 🤧

[yuta-nakamots]

Beautiful Time - h.rj ; Part 1 of 6

Pairing - Vampire!Renjun x Reader

Genre - Fluff? (with a tiny bit of angst)

Warnings - Mentions of blood

Summary - Vampires are creatures forced to walk upon the earth for longer than humans could possibly imagine. One would think it gets boring after a while, but not to Renjun, the foreign exchange student who seems to know a little too much about the early twentieth century.

Word Count - 2.5k

A/N - this chapter was a littler shorter and slower than I expected but I promise things will really start to pick up in the next chapter

It was your last first day of high school. Your day couldn’t get any better, having returned from summer break ready to see all your friends again. You were happy with your schedule along with the people in your classes, you knew your senior year was going to go just fine.

By the time lunch came around, you were already starting to feel exhausted from meeting your new teachers and keeping track of the assignments they had already given out, but you still had one more class left to attend which was history. World history from the early 1900s to be exact.

You sit in the middle of the room next to your friends, you guys ending your conversation as the teacher begins introductions. About halfway through, your teacher is interrupted by the door opening followed by the entrance of a boy who you presume to be one of your new classmates. The neatly ironed school uniform looking very flattering on his body, the dark maroon color of it complimenting his bleached blonde hair.

“Oh! Sorry for interrupting! My name is Huang Renjun, I’m an exchange student from Seoul, South Korea. Nice to meet you all.” His voice sounded so soothing and his pronunciation was so natural, you wouldn’t even have thought he was a foreign student. You didn’t miss the way his gaze held yours as he scanned the room for a place to sit down, the only seats being the few that were open on the far side of the room, next to you and your friends.

Ever since that first day, Renjun has continued to sit next to your group of friends and they grew to like him and included him in any group assignments that were given out. You noticed that Renjun wasn’t a talker though he liked to spout little interesting history facts and details every so often, like how the First Lady of the United States had 80 Japanese cherry trees planted alongside the Potomac River in 1912. You didn’t think much of it since the class itself was about history, you only assumed that Renjun had a special knack for it.

The first time you really get to speak to him is during a class field trip to the museum. You wanted to go look at the Renaissance paintings for both humor and educational reasons, however, your friends would rather stay in the gift shop. You weren’t allowed to go off on your own so you pouted and tried to reason with one of them to go with you, almost giving up until you felt someone tap your shoulder. “Y/n I can go with you if you want.” You turn around, finding Renjun standing behind you wearing a large pink hoodie with black jeans, sipping on the drink he was holding. You give him a grateful smile before telling your friends that you’d be leaving the gift shop.

“So tell me why you wanted to go look at Renaissance paintings so badly” Renjun said, letting out a slight laugh as he looked at The Creation of Adam.

You rolled your eyes before responding, “they’re funny...that and the fact that you can see a lot of emotion and stories being portrayed behind them, especially during such an odd era of time. Some of them are also just nice to look at” you told him, gesturing at the Girl With A Pearl Earring.

“I may not know much about the Renaissance but I’ve always heard that it was the start of modern art so I guess I’m quite thankful for it” he said, his words trailing off towards the end.

You nodded to show your agreement. “It really is interesting to see where modern art originated from and how much it’s changed from its start” you mused, a smile appearing on your face as you walked over to The Last Supper.

“Time truly is a beautiful thing” Renjun remarked as he followed you.

“It is, isn’t it?” You looked over at Renjun who was busy posing as the different people in the paintings, both of you laughing as you quickly chose a person as well, joining Renjun and his antics.

As the semester went by, you and Renjun often found yourselves working on projects together. After the day at the museum, you had started talking to him a lot more during class and found that he was actually pretty funny. When it came to your projects, he was always responsible, making sure to do his part while also making sure you did yours. He had some of the most interesting ideas like when he proposed making your own historical-looking marble bust and you laughed at him saying that it would take far too long while he gave you a questioning look back as if daring you to bet on it.

Eventually, the time came for the large final project of the semester, which you were glad was a group project as well, eagerly agreeing with Renjun when he asked if you’d like to be his partner. You and Renjun had decided that your topic would be various art forms throughout World War II and spent a whole lot of time going through different resources to find images of paintings, old written letters and poems, newspapers, recordings of songs, and anything of the sort. Finding that this project was going to be a lot more complicated than expected, you ask if you could possibly meet up somewhere to work on it together. Renjun suggests a cute cafe that both of you enjoy going to and you arrive there around 5pm. Luckily, it’s Friday so that means you can stay out a little later and continue to work on your project, but what you don’t expect is for time to go by so quickly. “Oh wow, it’s already dark out” you observed as you leaned back to stretch in your seat.

Renjun looked up from his laptop, only just noticing the darkness as well, “It is winter so I guess it makes sense for it to be getting dark sooner” he reasoned. “Do you want to go to your house to continue working on this? We can go to my place too if you want, I just don’t want to keep you out too late because I know it can get a little sketch at night.”

“Whichever one of our places is closer is fine” you say, not wanting to have to walk further than you have to. The two of you playfully bicker, trying to figure out who lives closer to the cafe until Renjun gives up and plugs both of your addresses into the maps app, showing that Renjun does indeed live closer to the cafe than you.

The walk to Renjun’s place was surprisingly pleasant. The weather was comfortably warm and the sky was clear, the sun having just set, coloring it a warm orange hue. Your conversation with Renjun flowed easily like the breeze blowing through the tree leaves.

“What’s it like to live alone in a foreign country?”

“Ah, it’s really nice here, I enjoy being away from home. It’s like a breath of fresh air,” he told you, “I don’t live alone though, I have one other roommate who’s in the same transfer program as me though he goes to a different school.”

“Oh? Are you close to him or were you just assigned to live together?”

“I guess you can say we’re pretty close,” he said, guiding you into the lobby of a tall apartment complex, “He spends more time together with his friends from school rather than with me, but I don’t mind. I like our school.”

His apartment was surprisingly clean for housing two boys and it was well decorated too, various paintings adorning the walls along with succulents sitting on shelves nicely spaced out around the main room. You and Renjun settle down on opposite ends of the couch in the living room, continuing the work you were doing at the cafe. Another two hours pass in almost near silence, only broken when the two of you are discussing details about your project or when Renjun asks how you’ll be getting home.

“I called my mom to pick me up around 9, don’t worry about it” you told him, thanking him for his thoughtfulness.

“Oh, it’s almost 9 already though. We should start wrapping up” he said, going through the open tabs on his computer, making sure all your work was saved. You repacked your belongings, standing up to leave. Renjun follows you, wanting to walk you down and wait with you until your mother arrives, though before either of you can reach the door, it opens, revealing the purple-haired boy who opened it.

You froze, taking in the appearance of the stranger, looking almost normal if it weren’t for his bright red lips and the fangs protruding from his smile. You backed up, bumping into Renjun as the stranger took a step inside.

“Haechan, what are you doing?” Renjun exclaimed, his arm wrapping around your shoulders protectively.

“Introducing myself to the pretty lady,” the purple-haired boy said before turning to you, “hi princess, my name’s Haechan, don’t forget it.” You swore you could see red in Haechan’s eyes but you looked down out of fear and you shrink further into Renjun’s hold, your shaking hand coming up to grip the back of his shirt. “So is she your little snack or what?” You were utterly mortified, the smell of blood reaching your nose the longer Haechan stood in front of you.

You looked up at Renjun, almost screaming when you saw he too suddenly had the same fangs Haechan did, though you didn’t dare look into his eyes. All of your instincts telling you to run, but your legs were too weak, you felt rooted to the floor, not wanting to believe the sight before you. “No, Haechan, she is not a snack. This is y/n, and you will leave her alone” he said, putting extra emphasis on the ‘will’ as if giving Haechan a command.

“Ah, so this is that girl you keep talking about, the one that’s your-”

“Haechan!” Renjun exclaimed, his grip on your shoulder becoming tighter.

Haechan raised his hands in defense, “Hey, hey, I’m just trying to get things moving, lover boy.” The smell of blood reaching your nose the longer Haechan was in front of you.

Renjun scoffs before telling Haechan to leave, to which he whines, “but what if I want to get to know her too?”

“There will be another time and place for that, but not right now Haechan” Renjun said, practically seething with irritation.

Haechan pouts before leaning against the doorframe. “Jaemin went nuts after feeding so he’s staying at my place and needs a change of clothes.”

Renjun groaned out of frustration before allowing Haechan in, not moving as Haechan walked past the two of you down the hallway, opening the door of what you presume to be Renjun's roommate, Jaemin’s room.

You had practically smashed your entire body against Renjun’s out of fear, not noticing how tightly you were clinging onto him until Haechan was out of sight. Renjun brought himself to stand in front of you with his head down, his hands resting on the sides of your shoulders, lightly squeezing them to calm you down. When he brings his head up to meet your gaze, you expected to see the same red-tinted eyes accompanied by the fangs you saw now too long ago, but instead, you’re greeted by a pair of dark brown eyes and an apologetic fangless smile.

“Y/n, I’m really sorry about that. I know it’s a lot to process right now, but please promise me you won’t run off until I tell you everything” Renjun said, looking into your eyes for a sign of affirmation. You slowly nod, not knowing how this situation could get any worse.

Renjun let out a sigh and squeezed your shoulders again before starting, “I think you already know, but...I’m...not human, and what Haechan said earlier about you...you’re special to me...You’re my, uh, mate...I know it’s a lot to take in all at once and I’m sorry I had to tell you like this. If only Haechan didn’t show up, I was planning to wait a little longer and tell you differently, I’m so so so sorry, just please don’t run away from me y/n” Renjun said, his words coming at you faster than you could process them.

You stared at him in shock, not knowing what to say or how to respond at all. Renjun was your classmate that you barely knew much about. Yes, he was your friend who you worked on many projects with, but aside from that, you knew nothing about him. You stood there, unmoving and you tried to piece together sentences in your head before responding to him, eventually giving up and just letting your thoughts come out.

“Look, Renjun, thank you for not trying to kill me yet, but I’m just...really overwhelmed right now. I don’t know what to say to you or how to react to being your mate, I don’t even know if I can believe that or not, I don’t even know if I can believe that vampires are real-”

“Y/n, I can show you-”

“No Renjun, I don’t want to see anything right now. I just want to go home. I need time to think...But for now, we are only classmates. I don’t want to talk to you unless it’s about the project. I’m sorry but please just respect me this once and give me time.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Renjun, too shaken up from all the information he had just thrown at you.

“Okay, I understand. Can I at least make sure you get picked up safely?” he asked, his hands leaving your shoulders. You nod, not trusting yourself to speak anymore.

You let yourself out of his apartment, Renjun only following you like a shadow. He keeps at least an arm’s length of space between the two of you at all times and he doesn’t take his sight off of you until you’re in your mom’s car, putting on your seatbelt. Once you’re gone, Renjun makes his way back to his unit, his thoughts going wild in his head, running at a thousand miles per hour.

He’s worried about you and what you’re thinking, not knowing whether you’ll come back to him or not, he’s beyond upset at Haechan for barging in and creating this whole mess, but he’s disappointed at himself for not being able to control the situation better.

He walks into his apartment to Haechan waiting for him on the couch, “guessing it didn’t go too well, huh” he says to Renjun.

Renjun only groans out of pure anger and frustration, heading to his room and slamming the door, but not before telling Haechan to “get the fuck out.”

A/N - this chapter was a littler shorter and slower than I expected but I promise things will really start to pick up in the next chapter

@nct-writers​

[random-mha-thoughts]

Night Drives (Shinsou x Reader)

Pairing: Shinsou x Reader 

Genre: Fluff/Comfort, College!AU

Summary: You’re having a rough and stressful week, and Shinsou helps by taking you out for a late night trip.

Word count: 1,814

Tags:  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

a/n: I know I promised angst, but I really wanted to write this little comfort/fluff piece for anyone who might be facing a mid-semester funk/depression like me.  I was inspired because I went out to pick my cousin up from the airport late last night and I never realized how therapeutic night driving can be.

I also wasn’t really sure which character I wanted to write for this (bc they would all fit one way or another), but I chose Shinsou bc I haven’t written for him in a hot minute and he deserves some more love.

I hope you guys enjoy it, and I hope it helped some of you and maybe helped cheer you up 😊

I sit at my desk, hands carding through my messy hair.  Pouring over my notes is the most stressful thing I could be doing this weekend, I'd rather be sleeping or doing something more relaxing.  Weekends before exams are always the hardest because it's when I get my biggest chunk of studying done, so I'm usually holed up in my room the entire day.

It's also times like this when the dark thoughts roll in.  I've always been a smart kid, but being in college really makes me question it.  Getting low B's and high C's on exams in my major classes don't mean the end of the world, but I rethink who I think I am because of it.  I still get A's in my other bullshit classes, so why am I struggling in the classes that are supposed to teach me the skills I need for my future career?  Should I rethink my future?  Do I even want to go into my chosen field anymore?  Am I making a huge mistake being here?  I'm wasting my entire scholarship money if I decide to start over from scratch.  My fingers close in on my scalp.

"Kitty?"

The warmth in his voice jolts my head up.  "Oh, hey."  I straighten my back, not even realizing how hunched over my back was.

Shinsou's eyebrows are furrowed at me.  "Are you okay?"  His large thumb brushes over the wetness clinging at the corners of my eyes.  "You're crying."

I tug at the sleeves of my hoodie.  "Yeah, I'm fine."

He studies my face carefully, his own dark circles standing out against his pale skin.  He knows how I get when I'm in this mode, staying respectful of my study habits.  Since I don't come out of my room, he'll let himself in and stay in my bed, reading, sleeping, doing his own studying, or watching something on his laptop until I'm finished.  Just a few moments ago when I peaked over my shoulder to see what he was doing, he'd fallen asleep with his headphones on, lightly snoring.  He doesn't bother me.  It's something I appreciate about him.

Shinsou crosses his arms over his chest.  "When was the last time you ate?"

My stomach admittedly feels empty.  I've only been snacking when I felt hungry.  Looking at the clock, it's almost midnight.  "Since breakfast," I answer feebly.

A sigh escapes his lips.  "Are you finished now?  You've been like this all day."

I cast a dreadful look over the pages of notes.  There's still a few chapters I need to look over, but my brain feels that it might explode if I try to cram anymore information in.  The worst part is I don't even feel like I've retained anything I've read in the past few hours.  I start closing my books.  "Yeah, I'm done."  And utterly defeated.

Shinsou gently takes my hand in his, calling my attention to him.  "Come on, go wash your face and change.  We're gonna go eat."

He leaves me to go to his room and fetch his wallet.  Trudging into the bathroom and following his instructions, I wash my face to wake myself up, change into some jeans, and pull on a hoodie that's more presentable for going out into the world.

Shinsou returns, changed into a pair of jeans, hoodie, and denim jacket, and we head out of our dorm building.  The air isn't as cold as I thought, but it was just as deserted.  The scattered lamp posts across the pavement are the only illuminations in the parking lot.  I walk with my hands in my pockets and my hood up.

How the hell am I gonna learn everything by Tuesday? I despair.  I hate how I always end up thinking about work even when I don't want to.

Shinsou closes the distance between us and snakes his arm around my torso.  "Have you ever considered getting a hoodie with cat ears on them?" he asked casually.

I'm thrown off by his random question, but I have to laugh.  "Uh, no?  Why would I wear it?"

"So I can pull at the ears, duh."

"You and your cat addiction needs to chill."  I want to shove him away, but his warmth feels great to touch.  "Where are we going?"

"Noodles?" he offers.  "It's been getting pretty cold."

"Is it wrong that I want something...filling right now.  And no, get your mind out of the gutter!" I shove Shinsou before he can say anything.

"I wasn't even thinking it, who actually has the dirty mind, hm?"  He pokes the side of my head.

After I'm done pouting at him, I suggest, "Do you think there's a tempura place open around here?  Actually, I just really want fries and something else."

"Anything else, your royal highness?" he smirks and unlocks his car.

"Mmm," I hum as I settle into his passenger seat.  "A pet dragon would be nice too.  Or full payment on my college education."

Shinsou chuckles at my sarcasm.  "Anything for you, kitty."  Holding my hand, he kisses my palm before starting the engine.

As he drives down the abandoned road, I lean my head against the window, staring out the windshield.  The sky's already black, but there's too much light and the car's moving too fast to count the stars.  Something about the emptiness of everything at night calms me down.  It almost feels like Shinsou and I are the only 2 people in the world at this hour.  Even the parking lot of the fast food joint down the block is deserted.

"I'll get it to go so we can eat in here, what do you want?" my purple haired prince asks me sweetly, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"10 piece nuggets and medium fries.  And a diet soda, I'm watching my calories."  I whisper the last part.

"Coming right up."

.

"Are you sure it's okay to eat in your car?" I ask, tentatively opening the paper bag of food goodness.  I didn't realize how hungry I was until the smell of high calorie fast food wafts in front of my nose.

Shinsou's eyes are on the road as he drives down the roadway.  "Yeah I don't care, it's not like my car's new or anything."

I dip into the bag and grab my box of nuggets.  A smile graces my face when I notice he remembered the sweet and sour sauce.  "Why are you so good to me?"

"Because you're my kitty and I love you," he answers without missing a beat, his large hand messing up my hair.

A familiar fuzzy warmth fills me as I lean into his touch.  Digging into my nuggets, I end up completely demolishing them, the hole in my stomach finally filling  at the process meat.  I don't care how old I get, I will always have chicken nuggets at fast food restaurants.  Every once in a while, Shinsou would ask for one of my fries, and  I'd happily feed him.

I have no idea where we're going; for some reason, we're on the highway.  I just quietly finish my meal and sip my drink.

Shinou's eyes glint with mischief.  "Since we're alone on the highway..."

My eyes widen.  "Babe, no-!"

The engine revs to life under my boyfriend's lead foot and the car jolts forward.  I clutch my fries and almost choke on my soda as we speed down the highway.  The biggest grin spreads across his face.

"Hitoshi, I'm not ready to die!"

He takes his foot off the gas and the car relaxes, as does my heart.  But he knows how much I secretly love it when he does that.  "At least wait until I'm not about to choke before you do that!"

Laughing at me, he passes me his phone. "Play whatever you want, kitty."

Oh, it's over now.

I select a playlist of hype songs we both love, belting out the lyrics from the top of our lungs as Shinsou speeds down the highway. A mess of screams, laughter, loud music, and singing fill the entire space as we zip past all the lights on the highway.  It reminds of what it might feel like rocketing through space. The pit of my stomach feels weightless from the excitement and the speeding car.

Are we crazy?  Maybe.  Did I savor every second of it?  Absolutely.

Shinsou finally slows down and exits down a beach.  Pulling into an empty space, he parks the car and gets out, waving for me to follow him.  We end up sitting on the hood of his car, eating our food under a blanket he keeps in his car.  A nearby streetlight dimly illuminates our dark space.

I snuggle Shinsou's left arm and look out into the dark expanse.  I can finally count the stars, between stealing bites from Shinsou's burger.  Clutching my end of the blanket over me, I lay my head on his shoulder.  "It's so strange sitting on the hood of a car."

"Guess you've never done it before," he replies quietly, balling up his empty wrapper and placing it back in the bag.  Both arms wrap around me, resting his head on top of mine.  "I used to come here when I wanted to clear my mind.  There's just a whole lot of nothing and silence."

I can't agree more.  The darkness - the absence of light - makes everything seem quiet and empty.  Something about it feels liberating, letting all my emotions flow out in front of me freely and let me just be.  A breathe in and let it rattle out of me.  The endless void surrounds us, isolates us, encloses us so our thoughts can't bother us.

Shinsou brings me closer, letting me sit halfway on his lap, placing a gentle kiss on my temple.  "Are you feeling better, kitty?  I know you're pretty stressed, more so than your usual anxious self.  I figured bringing you out here would help somewhat."

My heart swells with warmth.  I hug him tighter and close my eyes, leaning my head to his chest.  "Thank you, Hitoshi.  You've done a lot for me, I really appreciate it.  You really went out of your way  for me."

"Nothing's out of my way for you."  His large hand rubs my scalp.  "You work so hard, you deserve this."

I snuggle deeper into his chest, my eyes slowly closing as the rhythm  of his heartbeat calms me.  "What did I do to deserve you?" I mumble.

"Well, maybe you saved an entire country," he jokes, pressing another kiss into the top of my head and running his fingers lightly on the back of my head, "But I think you just being perfect deserves all the happiness I can give you."

"You're too sweet."  I drift off to a light sleep in his arms, surrounded by his warmth, choosing to think about life some other time.

[assembledherethevolunteers]

College Friends

A/N: Hi everybody! And SURPRISE  @rhapsodyrecs  ! I’m your secret author for @yourlocalmusicalprostitute Possessed By Love Event! I hope you (and everybody else) enjoys it!

 Pairing: Joe Mazzello x fem!reader

Warnings: Implied smut (nothing explicit, but just in case), references to drinking, cursing? (I honestly don’t remember if I put any in there or not,but better safe than sorry), bed-sharing 

You threw a bag of chips into the cart and then looked around for more snacks.

“I think we’re good on snacks,” Kodi chuckled.

“Not if Marcus is coming,” you replied, another bag of chips making its way into the cart.

“Alright, good point, but we can make a trip to the store once we get there.”

You and a group of friends from college were going on an extended weekend trip to the beach, staying at an AirBnB. You were leaving in the morning and you were so excited. You needed time away from work.

“Alright, when we get back to my place, we’ll pack it the van,” Kodi told you after you got everything in your car from the store. You’d rented a van so you could all fit in one car.

“Sounds good to me. What time are we going to leave in the morning?”

“I think around 8, but I told Sahara 9 so that she might actually be on time.”

You laughed.  

The two of you talked about how much fun the five you would be having at the beach.

“I’m ready to just goooo,” Kodi whined as you puled into the parking lot of her building. “Work has been so shitty lately.”

“I know,” you told her as you parked next to the van. “You deserved that promotion.”

“Tell me about it. Whatever. I just want to go to the beach and get drunk.”

“Two things I can help with, don’t you worry.”

“And maybe get laid.”

“Well, let’s see how drunk we get.”

You and Kodi laughed as you got out of the car. The two of you transferred your groceries from your car to the van when somebody came up and grabbed your hips.

You jumped and spun around with a scream, ready to attack the person.

“Hey! Hey, calm down!” The voice was laughing as you swung your arms, making minimal contact.

You met eyes with your ‘attacker’ and gasped for a moment at that familiar hazel. “Joe?”

He held his arms out for a hug, but you didn’t go into them. Kodi did though, hugging him tight.

“Joe! What are you doing back in town?!”

“I just wrapped on a movie and thought I’d come see you guys!” Joe pulled away from Kodi and looked at you with a big grin.

“So Mister Hollywood is gracing us with his presence once again, huh?” You replied with an eye roll.

“Ah, Y/N, great to see you, too.”

Joe Mazzello. The unaccounted for sixth member of your college friend group.

The six of you had met and made a study group for your Psych 101 class freshmen year. After that, you were inseparable. The six of you had stayed friends since you all had left school, which was actually a surprise to all of you, but somehow it had worked.

“How long are you in town?” Kodi asked.

“Just this week, so I wanted to see if you guys were doing anything this weekend and…”

“Aw shucks, Joey, we’re actually going to be out of town this weekend,” you clicked your tongue. Joe’s face fell and Kodi elbowed you in the side.

“Oh, well, that’s okay, maybe I can hang out with Marcus and…” Joe stopped talking at the look on Kodi’s face.

“We’re actually going with them too, we sort of threw this together last minute long weekend to the beach,” Kodi gave Joe a half smile. “We didn’t know you’d be home otherwise we would’ve asked you!” Kodi started spewing out excuses but Joe held his hand up.

“Kodi, it’s alright I can…”

“Well,” Kodi looked at you and then back to Joe. “Give us one sec,” she grabbed your arm and then pulled you out of ear shot of Joe.

“No,”you told her, already knowing where the conversation was going.

“Come ON, Y/N. Joe’s one of our friends too.”

You scoffed, not looking at her.

“There’s room for Joe at the Air BnB and he’ll make it fun! You guys used to be so close. What happened?”

You sighed.

Yes, you and Joe had been close. Until he slept with your roommate at the end of freshman year even though the two of you had spent the entire semester flirting and you had thought you’d made it clear that you liked him. You hadn’t wanted to mess up the group dynamic so you’d never said anything, but you had stopped hanging with Joe just the two of you.

“I just want to have fun, alright? And if Joe comes people will probably stop us and want pictures and…”

“Stop. When was the last time any of that happened?”

You paused to honestly try and think of a time, but couldn’t think of one.

"Come on, we haven’t seen him in like a year. Please?”

You thought about it and looked back at Joe, who had started grabbing bags of groceries out the car. For the most part, yes, he was a good guy. Maybe you’d been too hard on him.

“Fine, let’s invite him.”

“Yes!” Kodi hugged you and gave you a kiss on the cheek. She turned back to Joe and almost ran to him. You followed slowly behind her.

“So, Joe, if you’re not doing anything this weekend, would you want to come with us?”

Joe’s face lit up. “Really?” He looked to you.

You nodded reluctantly.

“Yeah! I’d uh…I would love to come. Only if everybody’s okay with it,” he replied, still looking at you.

“Yeah, I’m fine. We should probably get this stuff inside.” You grabbed the 24 pack of water and headed inside.

You went home and ran over your packing list one more time. You were pretty sure you had everything. You opened your suitcase and saw your old swim suit that you had grabbed. You took it out and grabbed your favorite two piece instead. If Joe was coming, you were going to let him know what he was missing out on.

“I’m here!” Sahara came running into the kitchen the next morning. “I’m sorry I’m late but I have a good reason!” She practically skidded to a stop. She was the last to arrive, so everybody was sitting at the kitchen table or leaning against the counter.

“You’re not actually,” Kodi smiled at you, knowing she’d done the right thing by telling Sahara an hour earlier than you should have.

“What do you…?” Sahara looked around when she noticed Joe leaning against the counter drinking coffee. Sahara squealed and threw herself in Joe’s arms.

“Oof!” Joe laughed as he hugged her back. “Well hi.”

“When did you get here?! How was filming? Are you coming with us? Is…?”

“Sa, sh…it’s waaaay too early for that,” Marcus grumbled.

“I don’t even care! I’m so excited that you’re here!”

Everybody (except you) laughed and Joe let her go.

“We should get everybody’s bags in the car,” Dylan clapped his hands together. Everybody grabbed their bags and headed out to the van. Except you and Joe because your bags were already in the car.

You could feel the tension in the kitchen grow once you realized that the two of you were alone.

Joe cleared his throat. “Y/N, I um…thanks for inviting me.”

“Well, it was Kodi’s idea,” you told him as you set your coffee cup in the sink.

“Yeah, but you also agreed to it. I know we’ve had…” Joe gestured as if he were going to catch what he was trying to say. “A falling out. And I’m not sure what exactly happened but, I’m hoping that maybe we can…mend things?”

You stared at him, trying to come up with a response. What the hell did he mean he didn’t know what he did?

“How can you…?”

“Hey! Are you two ready?!” Kodi yelled in to the two of you.

“Let’s get going,” you blew past Joe to join your friends. This was going to be a long weekend.

The trip to the Air BnB was about a four hour drive. Kodi drove the whole way and you were in the passenger seat. Everybody else was piled into the back of the van.

The ride wasn’t horrible. Actually, it was pretty fun. Joe always had a way of making everybody laugh, even when you tried not to.

Once you got there, you all split up and took rooms. The only problem was there were only 5 beds.

“Where’s Joe going to sleep?” Kodi asked as she and Sahara sat on your bed, watching you unpack some things after.

“Not here,” you told her.

“I know that, but Dylan and Marcus’ room only have single beds.”

“Then he can sleep on the floor.”

“Oh stop it. We’ll figure it out. So, Y/N,” Sahara exchanged a look with Kodi before looking at you. “Are you ever going to tell us what happened to you and Joe?”

You grabbed your swimsuit out of your suitcase. “Nothing, we just don’t click anymore. Now, can we go the beach and get drunk?”

The three men had already gone out and they were in the water when you and the other women came out with your beach towels and your tumblers full of drinks.

As you started laying your towel down, you noticed Joe was staring at you.

“Can I help you, Mazzello?” You called out to him.

The rest of the day was relaxing, but that night, you were all going to go out to dinner. You put on the dress that you had packed. It was tight and hugged your curves the way that you loved. You smiled to yourself as you finished your makeup in the mirror.

“Y/N,” there was a knock at the door and then it opened to reveal Joe, in a button down and khaki shorts. “Whoa.”

“What?” You looked down at yourself to make sure that your dress hadn’t bunched up or anything.

“Nothing, you just,” Joe cleared his throat. “You just look nice is all.”

You narrowed your eyes, thinking that maybe he was messing with you. “As opposed to how I normally look?”

Joe’s eyes widened comically before he back tracked. “No! No that’s not what I meant. You always…I…” Joe breathed deeply through his nose.

“Whatever, let’s just go, alright?” You pushed past him and into the living room where the rest of your friends were waiting.

Dinner was fine, nothing extreme happened, but you kept catching Joe’s eye. He would give you shy little smile and then you’d look away. But that damn little smile gave you little butterflies in your stomach. You were a little annoyed with yourself. Yes, your crush on him never actually went away. And sure he was cute. And when you forgot about him messing with you all of freshman year, you could admire how funny and nice and sweet he was. He…

“Y/N?” Kodi waved a hand in front of your face.

“Hm?” You blinked at her.

“I asked if you were ready to go.”

“Oh! Yeah, sure.”

The six of you walked back to house.

“So, where is Joe going to sleep?” Dylan asked after another hour or so of everybody drinking in the living room.

“I mean, Y/N is kinda the only one that has room,” Sahara said sheepishly.

You frowned. “I am?”

“Yeah, Marcus and Dylan only have 2 single beds, me and Sahara are sharing the other double.”

“It’s fine, you guys, I can sleep on the couch,” Joe offered.

Everybody looked at you, silently asking if you were actually going to make him sleep on the couch. You hated yourself for what you were about to offer.

“No, Joe, you…shouldn’t have to sleep on the couch,” you grumbled. “We can share the bed.”

“Y/N, you don’t have have to do that. Seriously, I’m fine with…”

“No, it’s fine just…give me a minute to get ready for bed,” you stood up and walked up the stairs to get ready to sleep. That’s all that was going to happen. Sleep.

You were in bed, scrolling through your phone fifteen minutes later when Joe walked in with his bag. He was wearing a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of boxers. You swallowed. It all seemed so…domestic. And you hated that you still wanted that with him.

“Hey, I uh…just wanted to thank you, again.”

“Not a big deal.”

Joe yawned. He then got into bed on the other side of the bed than you. “We can make a wall of pillows or something.”

“It’s fine, let’s just get some sleep,” you told him as you watched him plug his phone in. Then you turned the light off, ready to pretend that you weren’t (still) attracted to the guy you were in bed with.

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Night, Joe.”

You listened as Joe’s breathing evened out and it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep after that.

The next morning, your alarm went off. You turned it off and you woke up warm and happy. You hummed and moved closer to the source of warmth. You felt the arms around your waist tighten.

“Good morning to to you too, sweetheart,” you heard in you ear. His voice was husky with sleep.

You giggled. And then you realized who that was. You rolled over and looked at Joe. His eyes were still closed and the sun was peeking through a small gap in the window curtains, hitting his hair so it was a copper color. It was beautiful. God, why did have to sleep with Shari? You could’ve been waking up to this for years. Who knows if you’d still be together or not, but damn your time together probably would’ve been great.

“Are you staring at me?”

“I usually don’t wake up with movie stars in my bed, so I’m enjoying it while I can.”

Joe laughed and opened his eyes. You watched him blink a couple time before his eyes adjusted. Once they did, he lifted on corner of his mouth. “Morning.”

“Morning. Want to tell me why you’ve got your arms around me?”

“Want to tell me why you haven’t moved from out of my arms since you’ve been awake for like ten minutes?”

You tired to come up with a response, but nothing came. “Touche,” you said, but still made no effort to move.

“So, are you going to tell me why you stopped liking me the summer after freshman year or am I supposed to guess?”

“I didn’t stop liking you. You just…hurt me.” You decided to be honest since Joe was asking you point blank. You figured it was time for the two of you to talk about it since it was just the two of you.

“I did?” The look on Joe’s face was hurt, like he really didn’t know what you meant. “What did I do?”

“You slept with Shari.”

Joe’s brow furrowed. “Who?”

You rolled your eyes. He didn’t even remember sleeping with her? “Shari? My roommate freshman year?”

Joe frowned and shook his head, still not understanding what you were saying.

“Come on, Joe. Shari? She looked like she got choked out the morning after you slept with her.”

“Whoa! I never slept with your roommate.”

“Yes you did. We were all at Peter’s party and you left to get us refills and…”

“I came back and you were gone.”

“I went to the bathroom! I tried to find you for like twenty minutes. Then I saw Kodi, and she was drunk, so I took her back to her room.”

“I went back to my room after I couldn’t find you, I swear.”

You shook your head with a bitter chuckle. Why was he lying about it?

“Joe, it’s fine, I mean, I thought that we’d kinda had something over the semester but shit happens and…”

“Y/N,” Joe squeezed your hip. “I thought that we had something, too. And then, by the time I got the courage to ask you out, you…started acting weird. Like you didn’t want to be around me anymore. I thought that I had done something.”

“You did! You slept with Shari!”

“But I didn’t!”

“Yes you did! I spent the night with Kodi and when I went back to my room the next morning, Shari had hickies ALL over her neck and when I asked her she said it was ‘Joe from her film class’,” you used air quotes. “You guys had ‘American History in Film’ together.”

Joe stared at you for a long moment, his face screwed up in confusion. “I honestly don’t…” then you could see the realization hit Joe like a truck.

But it wasn’t the realization that you thought.

“There were two Joes in that film class.”

You blinked at him a couple times. “What?”

“There were two Joes! There was me and there was another guy named Joe that eyed Shari all the time!”

“I…you…what?” You repeated.

Joe watched you and then started laughing. Full on laughing. “So this whole time you’ve been mad at me because another guy got laid?”

Now you felt like an idiot. You’d been holding onto this stupid grudge for years and it was for nothing?!

“Well, I…I thought that…” you mumbled, trailing off because you couldn’t really think of what to say. You felt Joe was still laughing at you, but you rested your forehead on his chest so that you didn’t have to look at him.

“I’m so sorry,” you told him. “I can’t believe I was so bitter about something that didn’t even happen. And I didn’t even ask you! God, I’m sorry!”

Joe was still chuckling to himself and he slid one hand up and rubbed your back.

“So, if I’d asked you back then on a date, would you have said yes?”

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from beaming. Then you looked up at him.

“Yeah, I would have.”

Joe’s face lit up and you decided that you really like that look on him. “What if I asked you for a kiss?”

“Now or then?”

Joe glanced down to your lips and then back up to your eyes. “Now.”

“I’d say yes,” you breathed out. You responded without even thinking about it.

Joe put his hand on your cheek and rubbed under your eye for a moment before he leaned in and your lips met.

You closed your eyes as a heat spread through you that you hadn’t felt for a while. Joe’s lips slid against yours and you wrapped your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

Joe groaned and then licked his way into your mouth. The two of you moving against each other made the bed squeak a couple times.  

You pulled a way for a moment to catch your breath. You kept your eyes closed, but still smiled.

“We should’ve done that a long time ago.”

“I think we’ve got some lost time to make up for,” Joe lifted your chin and you opened your eyes to look at him. “But only if you’re up for it.”

“THESE WALLS ARE REALLY THIN YOU GUYS!” Sahara’s voice came through the wall.

You looked at each other with wide eyes before Joe snorted and the two of you started giggling to each other.

“Maybe once we get home, before Mr. Hollywood needs to get back to work.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Joe pecked your lips one more time. “But until then, can I see you that two piece again?” He waggled his eyes brows.

You scoffed and pushed his chest. “Don’t press your luck, Mazzello.”

Joe grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Now that I’ve got you, I won’t be letting go anytime soon.”

You liked the sound of that.

[justniaaa]

Unravel Me (3)

Rating: 18+ NSFW

Work Count: 3.8k

Pairing: Christopher “Rio” Martinez x black!oc

Warning: Panic attack, anxiety, self doubt, swearing, use of the “n” word

A/N: Hey loves! So excited to finally share the third chapter with you all! Forgive me for the late posting, I wanted to be a post once a week type of writer but that seems to be not the case, especially with my semester starting soon and a new job being in the works. But please bare with me, I will try and make sure you guys get content even if it’s not consistent.  Thank you for reading my story and please like, comment and reblog. Alright enough of my ramblings,  Enjoy and happy reading! <3

Summary: Toni forms an unsuspecting friendship with Christopher that turns into something more. As her feelings towards him continue to grow she starts to  unravel the secrets that surround him and in return, he unravels her completely.

Chapter 3: Welcome back

“Finally,” Toni said with relief as she pulled up in her Honda Accord at Lux. She made sure to get to the bar early and was happy when she got there with five minutes left to spare. Taking a moment to herself before going in, she tried to occupy her mind with checking her hair and makeup in the rearview mirror. Try as she must, doubt began to settle in the forefront of her mind, in if she was making the right decision. 

Toni felt her heart begin to beat faster and faster. Out of breath, and body hot she turned her AC on at full blast, Dr. Simone’s instructions ringing in her head.

--------------------------------Flashback------------------------------------------

Now Antonia if you ever feel like you’re going to have an anxiety attack, I want you to try this breathing exercise called “Calming Breath”.”

Toni listened to her therapist Dr. Simone with rapt attention, “Honestly doc, I’ll take anything to just stop this shit, excuse my french.”

Dr. Simone chuckled, amused by her slip up. “No need to apologize, Antonia. How many times do I have to tell you this is a place where you can express yourself freely without judgment?”

“I know, I know.”

“Now like I was saying before, I want you to try an exercise called “Calming Breath.” What that entails is you taking a long, slow breath through your nose, and holding your breath to the count of three then exhaling slowly through your lips. It should help you relax your muscles in your face, shoulders, and stomach. We can practice a couple of times if you would like.”

Toni shook her head in understanding, “Thanks doc, but I think I got it.” After a few seconds of silence, Dr. Simone gave her a knowing look. “But just in case I don’t have it, can you repeat the steps again?

----------------------End of flashback-------------------------------------------

Hearing Dr. Simone’s directions, Toni began her breathing exercises, breathe in, hold, breathe out. She did the steps a couple more times until she slowly felt her heartbeat go back to normal. Softly smiling Toni was proud of herself for getting her anxiety in check until she looked at the clock on her dashboard.

She had two minutes until her shift started.

“Fuck, I can’t be late when I’m literally sitting right in front of the place”

Toni made sure she had all her belongings and shut off the ignition, quickly hopping out and closing her car door. Walking to the entrance, she took in the building, like every bar it looked mediocre in the daytime, with its red brick and black awning. But at night that’s when it’s beauty really shined especially when they turned on the fairy lights outside that gave the establishment a welcoming shine. She reached the entrance and was debating if she should walk-in or call Avery, but before she could decide the door swung open, almost hitting her in the face.

“Woah!” Toni said, quickly jumping back and almost breaking her neck in the process from her heeled boots.

“Oh, shit my fault ma!”

Toni heard a low voice apologize as she was looking down at her scuffed boots. Anger and embarrassment flooded through her, she was angry because her boots had white marks all over them and embarrassed because of course, this would happen to her of all people.

“Shit, you not crying right? Your shoes are fire but they not worth your tears.”

Is this nigga for real?

Toni finally looked up to show the man she wasn’t having a breakdown, “First of all, I’m not crying, I'm pissed and second of all the door is literally glass how did yo-?!”

“Oh shit Antonia?!”

Startled by the interruption, she stared confused at how he knew her name. A few seconds passed until the realization set in after she took in his dark skin and short box braids. He’s had the same hairstyle since college.

“Sean?!”

“Yoo! I can’t believe it’s you!” Sean came in for a hug as Toni stood there in shock, her hands came up awkwardly to hug him back. “It’s good to see you girl! How you been?!”

I’m emotionally damaged, I haven’t had sex in months and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

“I’m good, and I go by Toni now mostly. How are you?”

Sean shook his head, “My fault, my fault.”

Her question wasn’t answered as Sean took a step back, eyes roving over her body. He had a smirk on his lips as he took in her black sheer top, fitted black jeans, and her slightly damaged snake print block heeled boots. “Damn Ant- I mean Toni, you look even better than you did in college.”

Toni was grateful that he caught himself and at the same time she sucked her teeth. “You are so full of shit, reminds me of back in the day when you would flirt with all the girls in our Humanities class, and Honey would get pissed at you for it.”

His smirk noticeably dropped, showcasing that her sister was a sore topic. Trying to lighten the mood Toni bumped him with her hip, “Anyways, I can’t believe you still work here, looking cute with your all black ensemble on.” He was wearing black, from the t-shirt to the jeans and even his Vans.

It reminds me of a certain someone.

“You know how I do.” He told her, popping his faux collar, “My I.T hours are slim to none sometimes, so a couple of months ago I asked Avery for work to keep me above water.”

Toni let out a harsh breath, “That’s why I’m here too, I just hope I can remember my orders, hell even how to make drinks properly...”

Sean nodded and wrapped his arm around Toni’s shoulders, noticing her growing unease. “Hey, no need to be nervous. You know this bar like the back of your hand and from what I remember I know you would’ve brushed up on your skills before you even thought about calling Avery for a job. I got your back, with whatever, so stop worrying about stupid shit.”

Toni looked up at him and saw the sincerity on his face. When they met freshman year he always treated her like a sibling, making sure to help her out if she ever needed him.

“You getting soft on me nigga?” Toni asked, breaking the sappiness between them. She lightly punched his stomach, making Sean playfully wince in pain. She laughed and wrapped her arm around his side, “Damn, you really are soft Sean.”

“Shut up killa, before I tell Avery on you for being rude to his favorite employee.”

“Now that I’m back, I think that title comes back to me,” Toni gestured to herself.

“Fuck out of here.”

They both chuckled as they walked to the entrance, the joking continuing between the old friends.

********************************************************************************************

Toni had been at the bar for hours, and like Sean said she quickly got back into the swing of things. When she walked in three minutes late because of her small catch up with him, she was worried Avery was going to wring her neck especially since it was technically her first day. But all he did was yell out, “Toni, baby welcome back!” His New York accent prominent.

The Italian man looked mostly the same if not a little gray on the edges of his once all black hair. The last time she saw him he didn’t have crinkles near his eyes when he smiled but Toni thought they fit him perfectly. Avery had a small belly now and wore a red dress shirt that was rolled up at the sleeves, showcasing his tattoo of his favorite pinup girl Bettie Page on his forearm. After all these years he still hadn’t strayed from the black slacks always saying, “The color never shows the stains of a bad night.” After introducing Toni to the rest of  her coworkers he went to the backroom to meet with some associates, letting her know he would be back to help out later.

It was ten o’clock and Rihanna’s Work was playing in the bar, making the mass of people sway to the music and talk with drinks in their hands. The crowd seemed to not be getting any smaller and Toni was taking people’s drink orders as she was making other customers drinks. She didn’t remember it being this busy on just a regular Wednesday night, but she could guess as areas started to get more gentrified the crowds began to change. 

The hanging lights gave Lux an intimate glow but provided enough light for people to see each other. Stools were lined up in front of the bar, and they were all filled with customers, laughing and drinking, some of them eating onion rings and french fries or whatever other bar snacks that were served. The wooden booths that were along the wall, gave patrons the option to be more personal and away from the crazy that was the bar counter.

“Hey Toni, I need a pitcher of Budweiser,” Rosa, her coworker, stood next to her, her voice was slightly raised because she was trying to be heard over the volume of the chatter.

“Gotcha babe,” Toni got out the plastic container and put it under the spigot, pulling the lever. As the brownish-gold liquid poured, she looked out into the mob, watching individuals coming in and out of Lux. Sean was vaguely seen from where she was standing, checking ID at the door. Toni stopped the stream of beer and turned to Rosa, handing her the pitcher, “Thank you!” The blue-haired woman said with a smile, leaving to go tend to her customer.

Toni was about to put her hand out to stop Rosa before she got too far. Wanting to let her know she was going to take her fifteen-minute break, when she heard, “Can I get a Jack on the rocks?”

Toni frowned, in confusion at hearing the deep voice that had been on her mind for the past several days. Was she thinking about him too much, that she conjured him up somehow? She slowly turned to the individual that never failed to give her goosebumps whenever she laid eyes on him. In his usual calm demeanor, Chris was sitting at the bar, looking at her with a raised brow and smirk playing on his lips.

And he looked good, really fucking good.

He had on a black button-up and a chain around his neck that made the eagle tattoo on his neck stand out on his tan skin. She didn’t know if it was possible but he looked even better than when she saw him last.

Fuck me.

Toni bit her lip from her sinful thoughts and got a glass from behind the bar, beginning to make his drink. She glanced up and saw him watching her with his dark eyes, making her downcast her gaze. Not wanting him to notice her slightly shaking hands as she got ice out of the chest, Toni finally spoke, “Well, look who's back.” she said while she poured the liquor into the chilly glass.

Chris looked amused as she put the drink down in front of him and in the process of releasing it his hand came up, holding onto the glass as well, making his fingers come in contact with hers.

“Missed me?” He asked both of their hands still on the drink and unmoving as they checked each other out.

Toni shrugged, “Hardly.”

“I think my feelings would be hurt if I actually believed you ma.”

Toni grinned at his words, “How was work? I didn’t think you would be back so soon.”

“Cut ties with some of my partners for fucking up the numbers, but shit is all good now.”

Toni went to reply when suddenly Avery came up next to Chris, he put a broad hand on his shoulder, “Toni I didn’t know you knew Rio.”

She moved her hand away from Chris’s touch and picked up the rag that was on the counter, cleaning up the sticky bar top. Toni felt like Avery caught her hand in the cookie jar and from his knowing look, it seemed like Avery might have the same sentiment as well.

Toni cleared her throat, “We just met, actually.” She didn’t really understand where the hell “Rio” came from when she had been calling him “Chris” for the past several weeks.

“Well let me introduce you two then, Rio this is Toni my returning employee and one of the best damn bartenders, I’ve ever had and Toni this is Rio, the co-owner of Lux and your boss,” Avery said making introductory motions between the two.

Toni’s eyes widened and she stopped fake wiping the counter. My boss?! How many businesses did this man have?

“That shits all semantics Avery, you're the real boss of this place. I’m just here to be a helping hand,” Chris said, giving Toni a pointed look, showing her that it wasn’t as simple as it seemed.

“I suppose.” Avery patted Chris’s shoulder again with a grin, then turned to Toni once more, “I think it’s time for your fifteen Toni the crew and I can handle it if another wave comes in.”

Toni nodded, “Thanks Avery, and nice to meet you, Rio,” she said sickly sweet. Toni left the rag on the counter and squeezed behind Rosa, leaving from behind the bar. She took a look behind her and saw Chris and Avery talking and her usually chill boss didn’t seem all that happy. Toni walked outside, seeing Sean sitting on a chair, his fingers moving quickly on his iPhone. He looked over when he saw her walk out, and gave her a smile displaying his pearly whites. “I was right, wasn’t I? Shit was like you never left.”

“Yes negro, you were right.” Toni said leaning against the window, her feet becoming achy.

“You can take my seat sis. I need to be standing anyway or Avery will have my ass if he catches me sitting again.”

Toni laughed, “Thanks.”

Sean got up and let her sit down, standing in silence. He kept glancing over to her while opening his mouth and closing it like he wanted to ask Toni something. After the third time of this, Toni sighed, “What Sean?”

“Nothin, Nothin…”

She gave him a sour look until he finally broke, “What’s with the name change?” Sean put his hands up in mock surrender, “Don’t get me wrong Honey and some of your friends called you Toni but you’ve never told anyone that they had to do the same.”

Toni went for nonchalance not wanting to alarm him, “I just thought Toni was better, it definitely helps with the awkwardness of people calling me Antonio all the time until I corrected them.” She thought that would be enough for Sean, because what she said made total sense but Toni was very, very wrong.

“Bullshit,” Sean said, making her mouth fall open.

“What do you mean, bullshit!?”

“You loved watching people get red in the face when you corrected them, so whatchu sayin’ is bullshit. We haven’t seen each other in a minute but I still know you, so give me the real reason before I call Latoya.”

They both knew her mom couldn’t hold water sometimes and even if she didn’t know the real reason, Toni didn’t want Sean talking to her and possibly unearthing secrets that she tried to keep buried for as long as possible. She took in a breath and crossed her arms. At first she didn’t know what to say to appease her old friend, as he waited for an explanation but she decided to stick to the truth as close as possible.

“I just wanted a change, I went through a hard time and to completely be rid of it, I made the decision to have people just call me Toni rather than Antonia. It really cemented for me that I was a different person than I was before.” Toni fiddled with a loose string on her jeans, “I mean my parents still call me Antonia and there are certain family members as well that do it too, but in my everyday life, I stick with Toni and the solace it gives me.”

Sean appeared satisfied with her answer, but Toni noticed there was a little squint to his eye like he knew that wasn’t the full truth but he let her statement stand.

“So, I’m probably hella corny for this and I know you won’t let me live this down but..”Sean outstretched his hand, “It’s nice to meet you, Toni.”

His expression was sincere and comical at the same time and it made Toni grin, “Nice to meet you too, Sean Puff Daddy Combs.”

Sean sucked his teeth, “Here we go with that Puff Daddy shit.”

A party of people came walking up as they were laughing, making Sean check their ID’s ending their conversation.

For a few minutes, Toni was scrolling through Instagram readying herself to go back inside soon when she saw Chris walk out of the bar. He was standing at the threshold and he seemed to be scanning the parking lot. When it appeared he didn’t find what he was looking for he went to turn back around, but he suddenly stopped when he saw Toni sitting in the corner.

Toni waved her hand, “Sup, Rio.”

Chris snickered and walked towards her, getting close enough that Toni could smell his cologne. He looked down at her as she looked up at him. “I can start calling you Rio if you prefer. I mean I have my own hang-up with my name, so it’s really fine,” she said.

“Nah,” He said, a matter of fact.

He didn’t supply any other explanation so Toni gave a soft “Okay,” and leaned back into the chair. Sean gave Chris a head nod as he kept doing his job and telling an apparent drunk couple, that they couldn’t come into the bar, much to their dismay.

“I didn’t know you had a problem with your name, I’ve been calling you Antonia since we met,” Toni turned her attention back on him, taking notice that he had a blunt in his hand and was lighting it up with a skull covered lighter. His gold rings glimmered from the lights coming from the windows of the bar.

“It’s my own personal shit, but shockingly I don’t mind hearing it from you.”

“Is that right?” Chris said. He took a hit and held in the smoke until he released it into the cool air, through his nose and mouth. Toni was mesmerized by the tendrils of smoke, she didn’t understand how he made even smoking attractive but everything Chris did turned her on. He offered her the blunt, probably thinkings that’s why she was staring but Toni declined, not really into smoking much like she used to because of a bad trip she had years ago.

“You probably think I’m weird as hell, that I pick and choose what people can address me as.”

“Nah I get it, some believe knowing a person’s real name makes you have power over them.”

Toni knitted her brow, “Do you believe that?” she asked him. Chris took another hit and rubbed his beard like he was mulling over the question.

“I tell my associate’s my name is Rio ‘cause I don’t want them to get to close, too familiar. When they start to get too comfortable and start to think we friends or some shit than that interferes with my business and I can’t have that.” Chris began playing with his rings like it was a tick of his that he probably never noticed he had, “So yeah I think having knowledge of someone's name can have some sort of power.”

She sighed and crossed her leg, “I think I agree with you, but if you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you care about me knowing your real name? It's not like we’re exactly friends.”

“Oh shit, we not?” Chris said feigning shock, “ Damn mama that’s fucked up.”

Toni rolled her eyes, “Oh please.”

Chris grinned at her and licked his lips, throwing the finished blunt on the floor and ashing it under his black and white Converse. “You’re different and if you gonna be my girl, I think it’s best if you know who I really am right?”

“Your girl? You haven’t even taken me out on a date, so how in the hell am I going to be your girl?”

“Right, Right,” Chris said. His phone began to ring and he took it out of his dark blue jeans and muted it, his eyes never straying from Toni. “So let me take you out this Friday.”

Toni snorted thinking he was joking but stopped short when she realized that he didn’t even crack a smile, “Wait you’re serious?”

“Dead ass”

Chris’s phone rang again and this time he did look at it, with an evident scowl. Abruptly he said, “I gotta go Antonia, but I’ll text you the details,” Chris kissed Toni’s cheek and turned to leave, in the process he took his keys out of his pocket.

Toni’s eyes were wide as hell at what just happened. She blinked a couple of times to get out of the fog that took over her mind and noticed that he was almost to his Range Rover.

As he walked further away Toni yelled out, “Wait I don’t even have your number!”

He took a look over his shoulder, “It’s straight, I got yours!”

She went to nod then paused, “Wait, what?!”

Toni heard Chris laugh as he got into his car, turning it on. He sped out of the parking lot, leaving her to watch his taillights disappear into the LA traffic. Sean came over to where she was sitting and heavily sighed fatigue, and annoyance relevant in his form. “Got damn, did you see how fucked up they were? Imma have to tell Avery I need help ‘cause I can’t take ID’s and pat them down while babysitting grown-ass adults. Fuck that shit.”

Toni didn’t say anything, her thoughts still on what transpired seconds before. Sean took notice of the silence and softly elbowed his friend, used to her having a sarcastic quip. “You good? What did I miss?”

I’m going on date,” Toni said, feeling a glimmer of happiness.

Tag list: @aria725​ @kikilovesdankmemes​ @briannab1234​

[cozywritings]

Stitches ch 10: Call It What You Want

Thursday afternoon, the day Shawn would be returning to campus, you were in his room working on getting it set up for him. You were stocking up the snack drawer and refilling the mini fridge when your phone went off, the photo of you and Shawn on the carriage ride illuminating the screen. “Hey bubs!” you answered, glad to hear his voice.

“Hey there gorgeous, what are you up to?” he asked as you put the phone on speaker so you could start folding the laundry you had done for him.

“Nothing really, just some laundry and watching Netflix.” you smiled, picking up the Crossfit hoodie he loved and slipping it over your head after tossing your shirt onto the desk chair.

You heard some honking on Shawn’s end of the phone, “Well I just wanted to let you know that I just left the airport, I should be there in about two hours with this traffic.” he let out a chuckle, knowing it’s only thirty miles from LAX to campus, put Los Angeles traffic was awful. “James came home two days ago, he is doing a lot better.”

“Oh that’s amazing babe, I knew he’d be okay. I told you, there’s something about you that heals people just by being around them. I can’t wait for you to get here. I’ve missed you baby.” you smiled, even though he can’t see you.

You heard him laugh as the clicking of his blinker could be heard. “I’ve missed you too, just wanna cuddle up with you, maybe take you to dinner or something. How are you doing, though? I know you had an episode and called Rudy, because he asked me what he should do.” 

You bit your lip, honestly you still weren’t doing too well, Josh had been trying to talk to you every time he saw you on campus, and when Kyle or Cheryl weren’t around, he would walk right up to you and say something crude. “I’ll be better when you’re here. We can talk about it when you’re not focused on driving, but yeah we got some food and just sat on the beach and talked until I’d calmed down. Also, we are invited to game night at his place this weekend if you’re up for it.”

Shawn let out a hum of approval, “Okay babe, that sounds good. That way I can thank him for taking care of you while I was gone. I’ll be there soon okay? I love you so much, gorgeous. I’ll see you soon.” You smiled and said your goodbye before hanging up and crawling into his bed. It smelled more like you than Shawn now, but that’s because you slept in there almost every night. Sure it sounded clingy, but it kept you calm after a day of Josh harassing you and classes being pretty tough. Turning up the movie you’d put on, you wrapped yourself up in the heated blanket, the warmth easing your cramps, and within no time you were asleep.

-----

You were asleep when Shawn walked in, still curled into the blankets, so he dropped his bags on the floor, kicked off his shoes, and slid in behind you. He could tell by the fully stocked snacks and the still warm blanket that you were on your period, so he didn’t try to wake you. He was exhausted himself from the trip and the past two weeks, so he decided to place a kiss to the back of your neck and wrap an arm tightly around you, but the second you felt the bed dip, you were awake. 

“Missed you.” you mumbled, adjusting the blanket and pushing against him to feel his warmth. He chuckled, throwing his legs over you and kissing along your shoulder, causing you to laugh. “Shawn, stop that tickles.” But he didn’t let up, just held you tighter and continued.

“Gotta tell me you love me.” he demanded, “And agree to a date with your boyfriend.” you smiled, grabbing his wrists.

You let out a squeal when he kissed along your neck, “I love you so much Shawny, yes I’ll go on a date with you!” You laughed and he stopped, letting you catch your breath. “But first, can we just lay here?” You asked, already rolling over and nuzzling into his neck.

He nodded, arms coming up to rub your aching back. “Of course, my love. Been wanting to do this for days, I missed you so much. But it was nice to see my friends and family, mom says she wants to meet you soon and James seems to think you’re some sort of angel for getting me to fall in love with you.” You pulled back to look at him. “I had a really bad relationship in high school and when it ended I swore I wasn’t going to dating until I had graduated college. But then I met you and all that went out the window.” He leaned down and kissed you softly, god did you miss his lips.

When he pulled away you whined. “Two weeks without you and that’s all the kisses I get?” you asked and he laughed before leaning back in for a few more kisses. “That’s much better.” you sighed, hugging him to you. 

“So, would you like me to take you to dinner and a movie, or we could make a run to Target and get new pj’s and a bunch of snacks and come back and watch movies here?” Shawn asked, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

You thought about it for a minute, lips pressed to his chest. “As much as I love a reason to get pretty and go out, I’d much rather have option two, please.” you smiled. He already knew you’d say that, but he asked anyways. 

“Then let’s get going shall we? Target awaits.” He sat up, pulling you with him before realizing you were only wearing his hoodie. A soft smile appeared on his face at how cute you looked, hair messed up from your nap, the olive colored hoodie brushing against the middle of your thighs, toenails freshly painted his favorite color. “Aww baby, fuck you’re adorable.” he mumbled before tossing you your jeans from the floor.

---

The harsh lights of Target hurt your eyes as you browsed the candy options, Shawn walked up and put some drinks and a box of popcorn in the basket You grabbed a few candy options and tossed them in as well. “We just need to make a stop down the hygiene aisle. I’m uh… running low.” you whispered, looking at your feet.

“Already got it covered.” you heard Shawn say and saw him pick up a box of organic pads from the basket. “I grabbed them while you were looking at the fuzzy socks. I like to keep some in my medical drawer in case you need them.” He smiled at you, and in your hormonal state and due to the past few weeks, you began crying in the candy aisle. “Oh baby, no.” he cooed, coming around to cup your face. “Here,” he said handing you the keys to the jeep and some cash. “Go get us a pizza from the front and go sit in the car, the portable heating pad is in the glove compartment. I’ll grab our pj’s and be out there in a few minutes, okay?” 

You sniffled, taking the items and kissing the palm of his hand. “The pink silk ones.” You told him, reminding him of the set you saw walking in, but didn’t grab because you couldn’t choose between those and the black ones. He nodded, kissing your head and watching you make your way to the front of the store.

Now settled in the car, your pizza in the back seat, and the heating pad against your lower back, you closed your eyes. You felt bad that when Shawn came back from a stressful visit home, you were on your period, but he told you it was perfectly fine, he was just happy his friend was healthy and he could come back to you with good news.

There was a sound outside that startled you, and your eyes shot open to see Shawn trying to open the door and you laughed. You’d forgotten that you’d locked the doors and you had the keys in the ignition. “Sorry babe, forgot.” you laughed, after you’d unlocked the door and he got in.

“At least you were being safe.” He noted, setting the bags in the back seat. You grabbed his hand after he pulled out of the parking space and held it tightly. Your silent way of telling him you were grateful for him, but you didn’t want to bring up something. In this case, why you were so stressed out. He nodded, knowing and hummed softly to the radio as he drove.

-----

“Wanna take a bath?” the text read, and your brows furrowed. The bathrooms in your dorms didn’t have a bathtub, they were just a small shower, how on earth were you to take a bath? You opened your phone to answer when Shawn called you. “How exactly are we supposed to take this bath?” You asked.

There was a chuckle on Shawn’s end and you smiled at the sound. “Well, my mom has a bunch of points for hotel rooms from travelling for work and she was going to use them to come down and see me, but since I went up there she won’t be needing them. She just called and asked if we wanted to use them, spend spring break on a mini vacation and a way to destress before we started our finals studying.”

You were honestly about to cry at the gesture, a hotel in L.A during spring break wasn’t cheap either. You came to tour campus during spring break since it was the only time you and your mom were free, and that was pricey, god knows what this will cost. “Tell your mom that I love her.” you laughed.

“So that’s a yes?” he asked, his voice slightly higher in excitement.

“It’s a yes.” You grinned, since Shawn got back, you barely got to see each other. Your classes this semester were demanding, and you didn’t share an elective since you were both now in your focused courses. Plus, since he was gone the first two weeks, Shawn was working to catch up on what he missed, so this couldn’t have come at a better time.

“Good, because I already told her to book it.” He said, relieved. “I’ve got one lecture today and then I’ll come by to pack and pick you up. That sound good babe?” God how you loved Friday classes, so you had time to shower and shave before you left.

“That sounds perfect, I’ll see you soon.” You smiled before hanging up and texting Emily to come help you pick out outfits for this week.

When Shawn knocked on your door, you were all packed and shaved and ready to go. You swung open the door to see him in a pair of black jeans, a floral button down, and sunshades on top of his curls. “Holy shit.” you mumbled, taking in your boyfriend’s appearance and fixing the sundress you’d put on. 

“That color looks wonderful on you, my love.” he smiled, looking at the light blue floral dress you were wearing. “You ready babe? Mom said this was also like a, Christmas slash birthday gift so it’s pretty nice. And I told her everything, ya know, about with Josh and stuff and she wants you to know what it’s like to have good experiences with someone. I promise I didn’t share that with everyone, just her. She knows a lot about this kind of stuff and I wanted to know how to treat you better than him.” He was blushing when he looked at you a little embarrassed. You weren’t mad, you figured he’d tell someone because he is always looking for new ways to show affection. You learned very quickly that Shawn’s love language was gifts while yours was touch and quality time. 

“I’m not mad babe, c’mon let’s go have a getaway.” You nodded, grabbing your suitcase and locking your door. You were ready to have some time with Shawn before midterms fully took over your lives.

-----

The hotel was 5 star, and you knew she’d used all her points and paid a big chunj of cash for this, you let out a gasp as you walked into the bedroom. “Shawn, this is a lot.” you awed, setting your purse on the bed. 

“Mhm” he smiled, hugging you from behind. “It’s the perfect escape from classes. Don’t you think?” he asked, fingers digging into your hips as you nodded. “So, I know we saved up to do something for spring break, but you never decided what to do. And since my mom decided to do this for us. What do you say we take the money we saved.” he started and you looked back at him, walking towards the bed to sit down. “And use it to go to that place you talked about last week?”

You bit your lip, trying to remember what you did yesterday, let alone what you talked about a week ago. Then you remembered, while having a movie night last week you picked Sleeping Beauty, mentioning to Shawn that you wanted to go to Disneyland since it was her castle at the park. “Shawn, you’re not talking about The Happiest Place on Earth, are you?” You questioned and felt him nod.

“Are you telling me my princess doesn’t wanna blow all of our hard earned money at the magical castle?” he smiled, and laughed when you gently smacked his arm, knowing damn well you wanted to go. 

Hell, you even had a whole sketch book of dress designs inspired by the princesses. “I’m saying.” you laughed, turing in his hold to face him and cup his cheeks. “What day do we want to go? Because I’m never gonna turn down Disneyland.”

-----

“Babe, ask the balloon guy if he can take our picture!” you suggested, handing him your phone. He smiled, walking over to the man and asking him if he’d take your photo with the castle in the background. You clapped he he took your phone from Shawn’s hands and held out the balloons for you to hold. “I love you so much.” you whispered as you smiled for the camera, Shawn stole a kiss and the man gave a thumbs up to let you know he’d gotten that on camera as well.

Taking your phone back, you squealed at the photos. Both of you with ears on, the castle in the background and the balloons, you couldn’t have been happier. The whole day had been wonderful, you got to meet the princesses, ride all the rides, saw some shows and enjoyed lunch at the Beauty and the Beast restaurant. 

When it was time for the fireworks, the two of you made your way to the middle of Main St. hauling all of your merchandise and staring at the sky above the castle. “This was the best day, Shawn. Thank you.” you smiled, getting up on your tippy toes for a kiss. When your lips met his, literal fireworks started going off. You pulled back and laughed, leaning against his chest to watch the show.

A few tears slipped out and Shawn noticed, his arms pulling you tighter against him as he leaned down. “Hey baby, you okay? Is it the amount of people? Your back hurting again, I have your pain meds in your backpack.” You smiled, pressing a kiss to his bicep and shaking your head.

“Happy tears baby, this means more to me than you know. I’ll tell you about it in the way to the hotel.” He nodded, kissing you quickly so you could turn your attention back to the sky.

---

Now in the car, Shawn reached over and grabbed your hand. “So, did my princess enjoy her day at the castle?” He asked and you nodded, bringing your joined hands to your lips to kiss his knuckles.

“I absolutely loved it. And I am sorry for crying so much today, it’s just.” you sighed, watching his face in the streetlights that passed by. “When things got bad, I always told myself I needed to stay here to go to Disneyland. I know it’s stupid, but when you think the world only has sadness in store for you, you want to see happiness. So of course I wanted to make it to the Happiest Place on Earth. You didn’t know that, and today you brought me to a place that meant the world to me.”

You sniffed, noticing you’d pulled into your hotel parking lot. “Baby, you mean the world to me. If there is anything else I can do to show you that you deserve the world and that you deserve to be here, I want you to tell me.” He smiled at you and you nodded. “Now let’s go to bed. The sun drained me today. What do you say to a nice shower before bed?”

“I think that’s an amazing idea.” You smiled, grabbing your stuff and running up to your room.

-----

The drive back to campus seemed so short when you didn’t want to go back. You had just dozed off when Shawn pulled up outside the dorm, “Hey, we’re back honey. Let’s get you up to bed, I’ll come unload everything okay?” He whispered, rubbing your shoulder softly.

“N-no I can bring up the stuff.” You yawned, rubbing your neck that ached from the way you were in the car. He chuckled, handing you your backpack and his duffle bag. 

“Okay sweetheart. You take the luggage and I’ll bring up the stuff we got and your suitcase. Deal?” You nodded, stealing a kiss before making your way up to your rooms.

Tossing Shawn’s bag on his bed, you made your way to your own room, fully intending on showering and then taking a nap before starting on finals. While you loved how comfy and soft your bed was, Shawn’s had a heating blanket, and Shawn.

Taking a bold move, you opened your door, dropped your stuff on your desk, and went back into Shawn’s room. You knew Shawn was gonna stop at Em’s room to drop off the stuff you got her from the cady shop on Main St., so you had time to carry out your plan. You stripped in the middle of the room before walking into the bathroom to start the shower, taking out your bun before stepping into the water stream.

You had barely truly bathed the whole week, seeing as you fell asleep the second your head hit the pillow every night. The two of you did something every day, causing you to be exhausted when you made it back to the room, and if you weren’t sleeping, you two were doing other things.

The hot water was amazing, and you could feel the week washing off of you. You also felt the temperature change when the door to the bathroom opened and then when the curtain to the shower was slid open. “I was hoping you’d join me.” You smiled, tilting your head back to rinse out your shampoo. He pressed himself against you, lips ghosting over your shoulder. 

“I’ve got postmates on the way, burgers and milkshakes. That gives us half an hour.” His teeth grazed your skin, earning a soft moan. “Then hurry up and get cleaned baby. Been wanting you since we left the hotel.”

---

Curled under Shawn’s heated blanket, naked, you waited for him to return with the food. Once again Shawn had shown you how great he was at pleasing you, and make you feel loved at the same time. You only sat up from your ball of warmth when Shawn came back into the room, carrying a large bag of food and a tray of soda and milkshakes.

“I’d tell you to sleep and we can eat later, but my mini fridge doesn’t keep milkshakes.” He laughed, taking in your tired body and heavy eyelids. 

You shook your head and wrapped the blanket around your chest to keep warm. Your sunburn drawing all the heat out of your body. “No I’m good, just exhausted. But I’m also starving!” You reached for a burger, tearing off the paper and taking a huge bite. Shawn followed suit, handing you your milkshake as he swallowed his mouthful of food.

The two of you ate and talked about the events of spring break, agreeing that the best part was getting cliche matching henna tattoos at the pier. “Do you think that we will still get to live together for our last year?” You asked, yawing into your hand. Shawn looked at you shocked, but with a smirk. “I mean. You know. They are about to renew leases and I know that it’s rare for seniors to live on campus because freshmen are top priority.”

Shawn just smiled and laid you down, tucking you in and grabbing a pair of boxers for you to slip into. Once you were both dressed, he got into bed with you, pulling you into him and running his fingertips along your side. “I’m sure we’ll still live close. Get some sleep baby, tomorrow we start studying.” But when we looked down, you were already sleeping peacefully, face squished against his chest.

---

Finals were in a week. Luckily, with the way things were scheduled, you only had one exam a day. So you kept your study schedule from mid terms, staking out in your room and living off of postmates and when Shawn would stop by and bring you something. Occasionally he’d stay and help you study or force you to take a break to relax or let him rub out the knots in your back.

It was Thursday night when Shawn came into your room, a frantic look on his usually relaxed face. “Baby! I don’t know if I can do this! Finals are so fucking important, and if I want to get this shadowing gig at the hospital I can’t get less than a 3.5 GPA. I don’t think I can handle this.” By the time he was done, you could see him tearing up, pulling on his soft curls.

You shot up from your chair, pulling him into a hug that he bent down for, burying his face in your neck. “Shhh baby, come here, let’s sit down.” You could feel him shaking, his hands gripping your waist in a vice like force. “Shawn follow my breathing okay? You’re having a panic attack. You’re okay bub, close your eyes and breathe with me.”

You kept your voice calm, knowing it wouldn’t help if you panicked too. Slowly, you rubbed his back, one hand curled into his hair. “Listen to me, you’ve got a 4.0 already. You’re so smart, you’re graduating med school earlier than almost everyone in the field. You’re overworking yourself baby.” As you spoke, you moved the two of you to your bed, laying down and letting Shawn lay on top of you.

“You’ve been taking such good care of me during studies that you haven’t been taking care of yourself, and I didn’t take care of you. And for that I’m so sorry. Classes are all optional this week due to finals next week, you’re staying here okay?” Your fingernails gently scratched his head and you felt him nod.

He pulled back to look at you, his face blotchy but he had a small smile. “I guess I can skip tomorrow.” You nodded, kissing his head and massaging his temples, you knew he was prone to headaches when he stressed out.  

With your lips pressed against his skin, you spoke softly. “You’re gonna stay right here and relax. We can study together and make sure we’re not over-stressing.” You suggested, pressing gentle kisses to his cheeks.

Instead of answering, Shawn placed a hot kiss to your neck, fingers inching up your top. You looked down at him, unsure. “S’not what you think. I just wanna feel you. Wanna feel close to you. Please?” The look in his eyes was so sad, you would let him have absolutely anything he wanted. So you quickly tugged off your top as Shawn did the same. He was eager to feel your skin, he was always a man of touch. It was no surprise that when he was stressed he just wanted to feel you against him.

“Do you need anything babe?” You asked him after a few minutes of silence. You’d never seen him so worked up, you weren’t exactly sure what to do, and you didn’t know if the things that helped you out would help him relax as well.

He shook his head, hugging you to his body. “Just need you. Skin on skin contact really calms me down.” Shawn had always been the strong one in your relationship. The protector. So it was odd to see him look so small and scared. 

“Can I go put my notes up and turn off the lamp?” You asked, your voice soft. You felt bad asking to get up when he was so comfortable, but you really didn’t want to fall asleep with your lamp on.

He sat up quickly, eyes darting over to your desk. “Oh shit. You were studying too. I’m so sorry honey, I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I just needed you and-“ you cut him off, putting your hand over his mouth. 

“It’s okay Shawn. Just need to put my stuff away so I can put all my focus on you.” He hesitantly rolled off of you, watching as you put your notebooks and study guides away, shutting off your lamp and closing your laptop  before stripping down to your panties and turning off the light. The room now only lit up by the string of soft white Christmas lights that wrapped around your headboard and around your desk. 

“Those are cute.” He smiled, pointing at them before letting his jeans fall to the floor with a soft thud. “Have I told you lately that I love you?” Shawn asked when you were settled between your sheets. 

You let out a giggle and nodded, staring down at him. “You tell me every day bub.” Your lips moving against his jaw as you spoke. 

“Well I do. I love you.” Your cheeks still turned pink when he said it. 

You closed your eyes and buried your face in his neck. “I love you too Shawn.”

---

It was almost 3am when you jolted awake, Shawn sleeping peacefully next to you, his curls a mess on the soft grey pillow. You took a deep breath, slowing your heart when you saw he was in fact, still there and that it was all a dream. When you let out a choked sob, he grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb along your knuckles. “It’s just a bad dream honey. Lay back down, I’ve got you Angel.” His voice was thick with sleep and it calmed you instantly as you curled back into him, letting yourself be consumed by him.“Wanna tell me about it?” he asked when you where settled back into him.

You nodded, sniffling “He had tried to convinced you that I didn’t love you and that I was using you. That I really wanted him back. When you didn’t believe him, he got rid of you. It was so real…” another wave of emotions hit you as you remembered what Josh had done to him in the dream. 

Shawn noticed your breathing pick back up and began rubbing your back, his nails scratching gently. “Shhh baby it’s not real. I’m right here and I know you love me. I love you. I love you so much.” he repeated. Humming softly until you’d fallen back asleep, he thought about how he was going to ask you something soon.

---

You bursted through Shawn’s door, falling flat on top of him as your way of saying “I’m done.” You’d just finished your last exam of the semester, and you could now relax. At least, as much as you could until transcripts were released. “All done sweetheart?” He asked rhetorically, laughing as you nodded. 

 “I almost don’t even know what to do now. Oh! And I ummm. I got a letter from Calvin Klein.” Your lips curling into a smirk as you reached into your backpack. 

“And!” His voice higher in anticipation of your news. 

“And, you’re looking at the newest intern of the New York office upon next years graduation!” you beamed as you pulled your acceptance letter from your bag and placed it in his hand. He hugged you so tight you couldn’t breathe as he pressed multiple kisses against your head.

His smile was wide as he pulled away to look at you with pure happiness in his eyes. “Holy fuck baby that’s amazing! I’m so fucking proud of you, you don’t even know how proud I am. Oh god we have to celebrate. We should throw a party or go on a vacation.” You straddled him as he spoke, watching the pride in his eyes and smiling wide. 

“You seem almost more excited about this than I am.” You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting them on his broad shoulders. 

He smiled up at you, leaning in for a kiss that you happily gave him, but when you started to pull away, he held you closer to him. “Mmm- move in with me.” He moaned into your mouth. “Got a place off campus. Want you to live with me baby. Will you?” Without even thinking you nodded, pulling away slightly, only long enough to breathe out a “yes.” Before connecting your lips again.

[parkerpeter24]

Quizzes End Up In Kisses ~ Peter Parker💕

Part-7 of the Eight Days Of Valentine series

Part 8

Warnings: fluff, thank you.

Sorry for I'm late. Also, I don't know anything about schooling system in the U.S. so forgive me.

Middle school was exhausting, not to mention stupid, and you dreaded going to High school. Going everyday to a place for nearly your whole life, a prison called school, was never on your checklist. It was a pretty basic list and all the things you would want to do one day were mentioned in it.

And Peter Parker had managed to get on the top.

Entering Liz's house, you were met with loud noise and kids scattered all around the living area. The snacks and drinks were placed neatly on the kitchen slab. You sighed before moving in and placing your small gift in the pile that was placed near the christmas tree. You were invited to the party by Liz and you had nothing better to do on a Christmas eve and maybe you would find Peter here too. MJ was in the extreme corner of the room which was illuminated by a bright lamp under which she read a book. You smiled at her and her book choice, 'Great Leadership by Kimberly Davis.'

You moved towards the kitchen where you spotted Liz greeting her friends. The party went on, you stuck to MJ in the back until she needed to get back home and you didn't.

Few people were still left, probably close friends of Liz, when you spotted Ned and Peter near the window, whispering something to each other. You moved towards them setting aside the glass of juice.

"Hey Peter, Ned!" You greeted cheerfully. Ned waved, greeting you back while Peter straightened a bit, the soft light hid the mild blush covering his cheeks. It wasn't hard for you, or anyone for that matter, to figure out that he liked you. He wasn't good with secrets.

"Hey, (y/n)." He replied when Ned cleared his throat . You didn't want to seem desperate by asking him out or truth be told, you were shy yourself and didn't want to convert your friendship into awkwardness.

The room was starting to clear and you were now having a proper conversation with both the boys, majorly about school and homework when a loud voice pulled you out of the on-going topic.

"Hey losers!" Flash yelled, indicating the three of you."You need to come here." He called out, you rolled your eyes but nonetheless moved to where everyone left was gathered in a small circle. You sat beside Liz as everyone settled down and Liz started talking, "So, I have a game for everyone." She grinned and then you zoned out, staring at the boy in front of you. Brown eyes squinted slightly in concentration as he tried so hard to steal a glance at you whereas you were, absentmindedly, full on gaping at him. Only, you, Liz, Betty, Flash, Ned and Peter were left in the room.

"(Y/n), you wanna put something in?" Liz asked, popping your Peter bubble.

"What?" You asked, not having listened to a word she said.

"You wanna put something in the bag?" She pointed to the small bag placed in the centre. Where would it even come from, "And since you're the last one, you get to have the first chance." She grinned. By now, it wasn't really hard to guess that the group was playing seven minutes in heaven.

You grabbed the bag and got up, throwing your bracelet in when no one was watching and shaking the bag. You fished the bag and pulled out a small keyring which was way too familiar. A blush covered your cheeks as you realised whose it was. A small Darth Vader keyring that you gave Peter on his birthday. You looked to Peter who looked like a reindeer caught in headlights. You heard Flash laugh, "Do you think these guys are going to hold hands?"

Soon you were pushed into a room, Peter just behind you as Liz locked the door.

You sat on Liz's bed and Peter stood against the wall across you, the tension was undeniable. A few minutes were passed in silence before Peter cleared his throat and sat beside you on the bed. You watched him in anticipation as he ran his fingers through his hair, "(Y/n), you know, we don't have to do anything just because Flash would probably never leave this."

You felt a bit disappointed but you couldn't let Flash tease Peter for this, "Yeah, I know how to shut Flash up." You smiled.

You told Flash that you had made out with Peter and the look on his face was precious. Maybe it would be the other way around and instead of Flash teasing Peter, you would tease Flash for Peter had his first kiss before him. No one has to know that he didn't.

.•°☆°•..•°☆°•..•°☆°•.

It's been almost a year since then and everybody but you had forgotten that night. And you could never.

You saw Peter leaning against your locker as you made your way through the sea of teenagers.

"Hey!" You greeted your best friend, "Where's Ned?"

"Maths." He answered, shrugging. You smiled at him as you pulled out your Chemistry textbook.

"I'm already bored seeing this textbook." You complained walking beside Peter as you began your trip to the classroom.

"I know, Mr. Smith can be tough on us kids at times." He laughed, watching as you rolled your eyes at no one. "By the way, you prepared for the test?"

"Nope." You replied as soon as the question left his mouth, popping the p in the word.

"Well, you need to. This test makes up 33 percent of our total grades this semester." You sighed at this, nodding your head in understanding as you reached the class.

.•°☆°•..•°☆°•..•°☆°•.

You were at your desk for the past one hour, staring at your Chemistry textbook. Oh how you hated the subject. You were dozing off when you heard a series of knocks on your window. Although knowing it was the one and only, you were shocked and awakened from your sleep.

You ran to the window, unlocking it and letting your masked friend inside before locking it and pulling the curtains. Peter was always careless, not at all good at hiding his identity considering that you figured out, but you saved his ass.

"I'm so jealous of you." You complained and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Why?" He asked.

"You know, you get to do all cool superhero stuff and you're still gonna face that test tomorrow!" You exclaimed, burying your face in his chest and taking in his warmth as he wrapped his arms while laughing, "My mom is gonna kill me." You sighed.

"Okay, let's practice together then." He stated, moving towards your study.

"Aren't you tired?" You asked.

"Not for you, I'm not." He replied shyly and turned away from you to hide his own blush as a faint pink covered your cheeks.

Studying with Peter was rather distracting, not that you haven't done it before, but with time it seemed to have become difficult to focus on the subject and you were more interested in the pout that formed on his lips when he didn't understand something, or the way he squinted his eyes to focus, or the way his fingers played with the pencil when he was thinking something, or the way his eyebrows creased when he got an answer wrong. You were so busy admiring him.

"Okay, I got a good question for you." Peter said, pulling you out of your own little world.

"Shoot."

"And element X is divalent -" He started but you groaned, cutting him off.

"Oh, I hate X and Y questions!" You whined.

"Come on, you don't even know the question yet." Peter replied, "You need to practice if you want to get good grades on that test."

"Okay, I'll study. But, I have one condition." You said, smirking and Peter gulped. He knew that smirk. Something bad was going inside your mind whenever you did this. Before he could ask anything, though, you said, "If I answer ten of your questions correctly then you have to kiss me." You said. Your heartbeat was incredibly fast but your face showed the same smirk as Peter's cheek turned a crimson shade.

"Okay." He said, "I got some questions for you." He smirked, choosing the set of questions that he knew you would be able to answer easily.

"First question." He started, smiling at your nervousness as you tapped your fingers gently against the table. You wanted this as much as he did, "The number of moles of solute present in one kilogram of a solvent is called as…" He trailed off waiting for an answer.

You smiled, "That's easy. It's molality." You answered sweetly, batting your eyelashes at him.

"Correct. Don't get too excited (y/l/n), it's just the first question." He replied, mocking your tone which made you giggle.

"Your impressions are hilarious Parker." You teased, laughing as he smiled proudly.

"Wait till you hear my Thor impression." He beamed, "Anyway, the next question, The metal used to separate copper from a copper sulphate solution is?" He asked.

"Ferrous." You replied.

You didn't expect the questions to get harder but what do you expect from Peter Nerd Parker. You were on the ninth question and you were getting more and more nervous, "What is the chemical name for baking soda?"

"It's, Sodium something… Sodium Carbonate?"

"No. It's-"

"Sodium Bicarbonate!" You yelled, making him laugh at your eagerness.

"Oh, shut it Parker!" You scolded, nonetheless smiling.

"Okay, so are you ready for the last question?" He asked and you just nodded. This was a perfect and probably the only chance you'd get to kiss the boy you'd had a crush on for the longest time. "Now, (y/n). Which radioactive element is used in heat pacemakers?" He asked.

Shit!

Elements were your weakest part. You stared straight into his eyes, pleading for a hint as you rack your brain for the answer. At this moment, both of you knew that Peter would kiss you no matter what, but you wanted to get it right.

"Plutonium?" You mumbled a question. Peter, having heightened senses, heard that and stood up from his seat, making you stand up and follow him to the centre of the room. He sighed, facing you with furrowed eyebrows, "Was it wrong?"

He just stood there for a moment before suddenly pulling you flush against him. Your hands instantly wrapped around his neck and a yelp escaped your throat before you felt his lips over yours. Moving at a slow pace. It was sweet, it was all you needed. Your hands tugged at the curls behind his head and he pulled you closer, resting his forehead on yours, "Correct."

You smiled so wide, your cheeks started to hurt. Suddenly you couldn't help what you said out aloud, "Kissing you was on my checklist since Middle school." He laughed at this.

"The infamous checklist?" He asked. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You knew about it?" You asked back for his answer.

"You're not good with secrets either. I heard you and MJ talking about it." He replied sheepishly.

"And you didn't tell me?" You asked, smiling.

"It was an accident." He said in a small voice, parting from you slightly and you shook your head softly as your gaze fell on the wall clock.

"It's nothing." You smiled, "Hey, I think you should go. It's getting late." He nodded, giving you a final peck on the lips as he grabbed his mask, moving towards your window.

"Peter." You called out. He turned back to face you, waiting for you to say something, "Don't forget about the Spanish quiz day after tomorrow." You smirked and he knew that smirk.

Taglist:

@harrysbbby @overly-obsessed @luckyfiction17 @avengersgroupchat @ollieologys @afictionaladventure16 @hollandraul @clqudsparker @spider-manholland @screamholland @angelhaz11 @farfromhaz @drunklili @spideyyeet @fairytaleparker @venusparker @dazzling-rubabe @kitkatd7 @hazmyheart @angelic-holland @littlekidsteve @audreylovespidey706 @ironholland19 @lauras-collection @spideyyeet @cherryredparker @ploont @cucumberfingers @angel-spidey @spideygirl2003 @greatpizzascissorstaco @the-crazy-fanfictionist @lovabletomholland @lovelytholland @parkerdrabbles @parkers-fidelity @tom-holland-is-spiderman @tomsrebeleyebrow @hollandcuddles

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Ripped Jeans and Greasy Hair (Part Three) - Gerard Way x Reader

Request: Hi, your blog is awensome. Can you do part 3 of Ripped Jeans and Greasy Hair? It's one of my favourite. And maybe this time with more Patrick and Joe and other MCR members? Word count: 2 371 A/N: I want to apply to a semester at another university (if I get into my first choice, I’ll be so fucking happy), and I just wrote the application, and my mum suggested I also tell them I write fanfiction. So now there’s deadass “Writing shortstories for readers online” in that fucking document. Holy shit. Dear person who decides on this matter, don’t ask me irl about this unless you’re the prof who used fanfiction to talk about genres (I’m willing to bet five bucks he’s written fanfic (probably for Buffy) himself). Also: the beginning of this story is weird, but I had it in my head and it made me laugh so… yeah.

“When I told you-“

“When you told me-“

“No, when I told you…”

“Yes?”

“What did I tell you?”

“Exactly! You didn’t tell me shit!”

“Oh fuck!”

You laughed hard at Joe’s reaction, when he realised he had forgotten to check in with you for the birthday party he had started planning for Patrick. He had started organising stuff, but doing it for such a huge party alone was a lot of work, so he had walked up to you at your locker to complain about you not helping. Only that he had not told you anything, and you had assumed the birthday party for Patrick would be a small one, like the last years; just his closest friends, some cake and star Wars.

“Okay, calm down, so what do you have so far,” you offered, while searching through your locker for your math book.

“Um, my neighbour works at this sorta venue thing, and somehow he can give the whole room to us for the entire evening, and he said if he can come to we don’t even have to pay anything, so there’s that-“

“Which venue?” Your eyes widened when Joe told you. That hall was certainly big enough for a party with a hundred people. “Dude, what do you have planned?”

“Trouble in paradise,” a familiar voice mocked, and a moment later an arm, dressed in smooth leather, got wrapped around your shoulder.

“Joe organised The Night Hall for Patrick’s birthday,” you explained, turning your head to give Gerard a quick kiss on the cheek, which made him blush.

You had no idea why, but even after several months of dating and kissing, he still blushed when you surprised him with an affectionate gesture. But then again it was no different the other way around.

“Oh, big party then,” Gerard nodded, a grin spreading over his face, “I’m in!”

“Sure you are,” you laughed, and slammed the locker shut, “the other question is whether Patrick is in.”

“Sure I’m in,” Patrick’s cheerful voice surprised you from behind, “in on what?”

“Lunch, dude,” Joe quickly made up, “I saw there’s potatoes on the menu today, and we thought we don’t want to poison ourselves, so the plan is to go for pizza.”

Patrick nodded enthusiastically, and adjusted his trucker hat.

“If it’s pizza I’m double in,” he announced, making everyone laugh, and together you walked to class.

You had to admit, since you had gotten together with Gerard, a lot of things had changed. Your former group of three had extended, and now that you and your friends also hung out with Gerard, you had gotten to know his brother, and his best friend Ray. The six of you often spent hours talking about movies or playing your favourite records, sometimes you went out to a concert or spent an entire evening cooking a meal with several courses.

Before Gerard had saved you from your bullies that one Friday, you had often spent time with Patrick and Joe, and you had always felt like you were friends. But now, you spent even more time together, which was weird because you had assumed, you would have to split up the time between your friends and your boyfriend. Luckily it turned out that Gerard got along with the two perfectly, and after hanging out with them, Ray, and Mikey, he often came over to your place, or you to his, and you spent the late hours of the evening hanging out. All in all it did not only feel like you had made more friends, but as if you had grown closer to ones you had already had.

It turned out that it was a lot more difficult to help Joe organise Patrick’s party than you had imagined. Because you were spending almost all the time together, you had to find little moments in between, when Patrick was out of the room, to talk about what you still had to discuss. And just in time for his birthday you had finally arranged everything. Joe had invited a few people from outside of school, mostly musicians he and Patrick knew from the local scene, there were some classmates, a couple of friends from Patrick’s old school, and all the people these guests would bring along. Luckily the hall would not be full with all of these people, otherwise catering, which had been your task, would have been hell to organise. This way you had found a bakery that had offered a good price for small backed goods and sandwiches, and Joe had told people to bring drinks themselves.

The most complicated thing was to keep Patrick unsuspecting, until you had him standing in front of the entrance of the hall. The entire day you had pretended to have nothing planned, and you had even started to panic mildly, when Patrick had told you that his parents were planning on going out for dinner with him, but Joe had luckily managed to have them go out before the party started.

It was needless to say that Patrick was slightly overwhelmed by the effort Joe and you had put into the party, but luckily he agreed to go in none the less, something you had been worried about the entire time. You knew Patrick easily got anxious about big events, and especially when he was the centre of attention. But now he seemed happy and faltered as all the guests cheered when he entered the hall. Soon you left the birthday boy’s side, and found Gerard, who was haning out at the buffet (where else?), together with Mikey and Ray.

“So, he actually came,” Gerard joked, wrapping his arm around your waist, as if it was the most natural thing on earth,

“He did,” you laughed, and linked your thumb into his back pocket, “he was actually happy.”

“Told you he would be,” Ray grinned.

“Yeah, yeah,” you giggled, “you were right, we know.”

Ray rolled his eyes playfully at your mocking, and grabbed another sandwich.

“So-,” Mikey looked between you, his brother and Ray, “what’s the plan for the rest of the evening?”

“I dunno,” you shrugged, “what do people do at parties, other than eating all the snacks?”

Underlining your comment you grabbed a breadstick, and started munching on it.

“Dancing, I suppose,” Gerard suggested, and nodded to the group of people who had already started moving to the music in the middle of the big room.

“Let’s be honest here, we all suck at dancing,” the comment came from Joe, who had snuck up from behind, surprising you. He was followed by Patrick and a guy with deep brown eyes, and dark hair.  You recognised him from one of the concerts you had been at with the guys. What was his name again, Pete?

“Then let’s dance all together, so we don’t look so stupid on our own,” Gerard shrugged, stealing the half eaten breadstick from your hand, causing you to gasped in fake shock.

“That’s a sight nobody wants to see,” Patrick laughed, but just like the others he seemed not quite as reluctant as you about the suggestion.

“You just gotta pretend you know what you’re doing,” the guy behind Joe explained, “then nobody will care.”

The group slowly moved into the direction of the improvised dance floor, in the middle of the room. If you were being honest, you had never been good at or a fan of dancing, and it surprised you the others were so keen on it; that was until you saw what they understood under dancing. It was as if all of them had silently agreed that their attempts at trying to be sexy (or whatever people were doing on the dance floor) would end in absolute embarrassment. They all were jumping around to the upbeat music, reminding you of the concerts you went to sometimes.

Gerard grabbed your hand and spun you around a couple of times, until he caught you in his arms. You giggled, feeling a suspicious burning in your cheeks as a blush worked itself onto your face. Even with the upbeat music around you, Gerard swayed slowly to the music, holding you close, not caring about the chaos of your friends jumping around you.

Smiling softly you reached up to his face, and brushed a strand of his black hair out of his eyes, making him smile as well. As if the playlist Joe had created for tonight had known how much you wanted to dance slowly with your boyfriend, the next song that came on was a slower one. You felt how Gerard let go of your waist where he had placed his hand, and instead wrapped it around your back, pulling you into him, his other hand gently holding yours. It never ceased to amaze you how different his hands were to yours; his hands elegant, but calloused, so carefully taking hold of yours, while you felt rather clumsy using your own. If he had ever noticed, he had never mentioned it. Now his warm, dry fingers closed around yours; sometimes moving slightly, brushing over the back of your hand. Your other hand, like a reflex, found its place on the back of his neck. Slowly, playfully, you wrapped strands of his dark hair around your fingers, and you grinned when you remembered how intimidated you had been by him in the beginning, you had been outright scared.

“What?”

You could hear the insecure smile in Gerard’s voice, and looked up from the button with the band logo he was wearing on his shirt.

“Nothing, just…” you took a long look at him.

It was weird. He had come across as so confident and careless the first times you had met him, and even when you had gotten together, you had sometimes wondered where he took all that confidence from. But the better you had gotten to know him, the more you had realised that, just like Pete had said, he was faking it and nobody doubted he was in it for real. It had been a slow realisation that had started just a couple of days after your trip to the beach. It felt like a wall had started to break down, a wall he had already kept thin around you, but the more he started to trust you, the more he fell for you (and you could feel him falling for you more and more each day, just like you fell for him), the more he broke down that wall, revealing the same doubts and insecurities that you did not know how to hide.

You knew he was scared you did not love him. You knew he was worried you would realise one day that you deserved more than the school punk. He did not want you to feel that way, but he was scared of it anyway. You knew because he had told you, just the other week. In the beginning you had been hurt, thinking you were not good enough at expressing your emotions for him, which were as strong as they had never been for anyone, and since it had been a late Saturday night, and you were already talking, you had immediately shared that thought with him. Which in turn had made him worry again. But in the end you had come to the conclusion to just try to stop doubting your own self-worth, and to be honest with each other, and now that you remembered how insecure you had been about him, and he had asked, you decided to share it with him.

“I just remembered how scared I was by you in the beginning,” you confessed, gently brushing over his neck, and weaving your fingers into his hair.

“Scared,” Gerard echoed, a surprised look on his face.

“Yeah, you were pretty intimidating, with your leather jacket, and the ripped jeans, and your black hair,” you giggled, gently tucking on said hair.

“You think ripped jeans are intimidating,” the insecure smile on Gerard’s lips turned into an adoring, yet amused one.

“Nah, just you in general, always getting in trouble, never smiling…”

“I do smile,” Gerard protested.

“You didn’t smile at school,” you corrected, “I’d like to think that changed.”

Gerard furrowed his brows.

“Oh my god, I was like Mikey,” he realised, making you laugh.

Indeed the younger Way seemed less expressive, but when you turned your head, you found him goofing around with Patrick and Pete by the side of the buffet, accompanied by a young boy you knew was from New Jersey, and had just moved here recently.

“Ah, look at him now, he can smile too,” you joked, and nodded to the four boys.

“Seems like it,” Gerard agreed, “I think smiling suits him.”

“Happiness suits everybody,” you reminded him, “oh, and I was really uncomfortable when I found out you knew where I lived.”

“When I brought your book over,” Gerard remembered, “yeah, you looked uncomfortable. And I was so embarrassed when you didn’t know we were neighbours!”

“Trust me, I was probably more embarrassed,” you grinned.

“Oh were you now,” he giggled, and brushed his nose against yours.

You just hummed in response and kissed him, relishing the familiar smell and taste of his soft lips.

“Get a room you too,” Joe shouted. The people around you laughed, but Gerard just let go of your hand, and flipped him off without breaking the kiss, making you smile.

You spent the rest of the evening joking around, and dancing with your friends. Pete introduced the boy from New Jersey as Frank, and all eight of you, Pete, Patrick, Joe, Mikey, Ray, Frank, Gerard and you, made absolute fools of yourselves jumping around to the music, but it was fun and you did not want it any other way. Sometimes all of you were dancing together as a group, Patrick tried to dance a waltz with you to a rock song, which worked surprisingly well, Joe spun you around until you were so dizzy you had to sit down for a couple of minutes, and all the time you knew Gerard was watching you with the same love-struck glimmer in his eyes as you were watching him.

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @justawriterinprogress @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterfly-writes @angelevansfalls @rene-royale @500240

MCR: @deadlovers

[cluttermind]

Without A Parachute (4/?) - Smoke and Ashes

Summary:  Emma worked tremendously hard to give herself a better chance. From group homes, to living in her car, to ivy league student, this English Major’s only solace was escaping her reality through books. One night, Emma comes home to find a small package with only her name on it written in beautiful calligraphy. The package contains a thick, brown leather journal. Emma soon learns that the fiction she writes in the journal eventually becomes reality. Will Emma learn to control this gift, or will she fall too fast into the temptation to change too much? With the help of her good friends August, Robin, and Elsa, and the mysterious, intriguing bartender of The Jolly Roger, Emma discovers just how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to pick up the pieces.

Rating: M

Words: 14,041 total / 3,559 Ch 4

Read on ao3: Beginning | Current

Note: I thought this would take a lot longer to write than it did. This one kind of wrote itself.

I'm adding a trigger warning as the end of this one is a little dark. I hope you enjoy it either way! Things are really starting to move forward plot wise :)

TW: implied attempted sexual assault and under-aged drinking.

//

Chapter 4

“Smoke and Ashes”

I heard the church bells from afar

But we found each other in the dark

And when the smoke does finally pass

We will rise above all the ash

- City and Colour, We Found Each Other In The Dark

“It’s open!” August shouted from the kitchen of his large studio apartment. Emma opened the door and stepped in. “Emma! You’re late!” Ela and Robin called out hellos from their spots around the coffee table.

“Yeah I didn’t sleep much last night. What’s for brunch?” She asked, walking to take her seat next to Elsa on the floor in front of the couch.

“Chocolate chip pancakes” Elsa said, licking her lips. “Hurry up, August! I’m starving!” She whined dramatically, nudging Emma.

“Yeah August. Hurry before we perish.” Emma played along with Elsa, attempting to rile August. Robin chuckled, rolling his eyes at their antics. He was sitting across from Elsa, his laptop already open on the coffee table, typing away at a paper due in a few days.

“Nope. You were late. You can perish.” August retorted, flipping pancakes to be added to the growing pile next to him.

Emma gasped playfully. “Rude.” She pulled out her macroeconomics textbook just as her phone buzzed.

Killian Jones: Leaving before I wake up? Classy, Swan ;)

Emma Swan: I left a note!

Killian Jones: But without a kiss goodbye

Emma grinned at her phone like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Emma Swan: Then I guess it wasn’t goodbye ;)

“Well, well, well.” Elsa toyed, “Who are you texting Emma Swan?” August finally finished making an enormous pile of pancakes and brought the tray over to the table. Robin helped by running to grab some plates and silverware.

“Oh uhm Ruby.” Emma lied. “We’re joking about how awful our econ professor is.”

“Well I’m more interested in what the hell happened on Thursday,” Robin chimed in, handing Emma a plate. So much for being in a bubble.

Emma took a deep breath, hugged her knees to her chest and gave them the CliffNotes version of the story. Elsa rubbed her back the entire time. Saying it out loud somehow didn’t crush her they way it had before, as if the words no longer carried the weight they once did.

“Emma that’s awful!” Elsa nearly yelled when she finished speaking. “Don’t listen to a word he says. What kind of professor does that?!”

“What did he say to you after class?” August asked between taking bites of his pancakes.

“That I don’t have what it takes to be a writer.” Emma said, pausing, Killian’s words from last night echoing in her head. You get to make your own choices. Make them based on what makes you happy. “But he’s wrong.”

Her friends, being the wonderful, supportive people they are, stood strongly by her side. Yelling to each other how ridiculous this professor is, how he shouldn’t be a professor, and how brilliant their friend is. In that moment, Emma felt the least alone she had ever felt - surrounded by intelligent, kind, and loving friends who taught her what it means to be a part of a family. Because that’s what they were to her. They were her family. Her beautiful, ridiculous family.

After the yelling had died down and the excessively large pile of pancakes had been eaten, they spent all day studying, taking only a few short snack breaks. Before they knew it, it was dark outside. It was usually around now that they’d quit for the night, having finished enough to go the rest of the weekend relaxing. August nearly slammed his book shut, making the rest of them flinch.

“Geez, August. What’d the book ever do to you?” Robin asked.

“It existed.” August quipped, dramatically. “Can we be done? I need to be done.”

“I think I’ve done all I can for this weekend too.” Elsa said, closing her laptop. “What’re we doing tonight? Movies? Pizza?”

“I could go for a drink, honesty.” Robin responded, mirroring Elsa as he closed his own laptop.

“Drinks anywhere that also has food is usually expensive.” Emma stated.

“Yeah I guess.” August paused. “Oh! What about The Jolly Roger? It’s not that expensive right? Plus if I remember correctly, their onion rings are insane.” August was nearly salivating remembering the onion rings. The last time they had gone together was sometime last semester to celebrate the end of midterms.

“Right! I forgot how good those were.” Elsa responded. “Okay if we’re actually going out I need to change.”

“I’m so hungry. You look fine. Let’s just go.” August responded. Emma giggled about how the tables have turned since this morning when they were the ones complaining about being hungry.

“I’m not going to a bar in leggings and a sweatshirt.” Elsa threw her things in her bag. “Emma and I will meet you guys there in an hour. I have this beautiful dress that you just have to wear tonight.”

“Oh this isn’t an outing outing! We’re going for food!” Robin groaned.

“If we’re going to a bar, we’re going to a bar . It’s been way too long since we actually went out.” Elsa claimed. There was no arguing with her. She was pretty determined to make this happen. Plus, she wasn’t wrong. It had been a while since they went out together. She considered texting Killian to make sure he was working, but she knew he would be since he took yesterday off and thought she’d surprise him.

Emma shrugged and grabbed her things while August grumbled, grabbing the remote to turn the TV on for a bit.  She followed Elsa out the door. At Elsa’s dorm, she handed Emma a simple, low cut, black dress. It was tight, ruched, and hugged her in all the right places. And the glitter got everywhere. Despite Emma’s protests about the glitter, Elsa insisted she wear it. She also insisted that Emma let her do her makeup and that she wear the black heals that ‘go so perfectly with it it’d be a cardinal sin not to wear them.’ Eventually Emma got to look at herself in the mirror, her dainty gold chain with a small gold book charm falling against her bare chest above the deep neckline of the black dress. Elsa was right, the shoes did go perfectly. And her red leather jacket actually pulled the look together.

Except it was freezing outside. Like actually freezing. All she wanted was her sweatshirt that was in her backpack that was now sitting in Elsa’s room.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” Emma said, shivering as they waited for the bus.

“Oh come on! It’s not that cold. Plus you look great.”

“August might kill us. We’re so late.”

“We’re 20 minutes late.”

“We’re 30 minutes late Elsa.” Emma laughed as Elsa shugged, clearly not caring about August’s desire for food as they finally stepped onto the slightly crowded bus.

“August will live.”

“I’m more concerned about Robin having to deal with him.” Really what Emma was nervous about was seeing Killian. Butterflies filled her stomach when she thought about seeing him in something other than jeans and a sweater.

15 minutes later, they walked through the doors of The Jolly Roger 45 minutes late. Emma was grateful for the warmth of the pub. She instantly spotted August waving them over. He and Robin had already ordered and had food in front of them.

“Look who finally decided to show up.” Robin joked, drinking the last of his beer.

“Blame Elsa.” Emma playfully nudged her friend next to her.

“Fine fine. This round’s on me. Emma help me with the drinks?”  Elsa said, leading them to the bar.

That’s when Emma saw him, handing a customer a drink at the bar. Part of her wanted to run and hir, the other part of her wanted to run to him. He looked up from his customer and looked in her direction. She swore her heart nearly stopped when he smiled at her, eyes drinking her in.

“Swan.” Killian said, grinning at her as they approached. “Isn’t this a surprise. I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”

I did say it wasn’t goodbye earlier, didn’t I? Emma thought.

“You two know each other?” Elsa asked.

“Aye. We do.” Killian said.

“Killian owns the pub. I come here to study during the week when it’s quiet. Sometimes he feeds me.” Emma said. Killian raised an eyebrow at her.  “Okay fine. He feeds me a lot. Killian this is my friend Elsa. Elsa, this is Killian.” Elsa was staring wide-eyed at Emma, mouth open, silently screaming how did you not tell me about him?!  

“Nice to meet you lass.” Killian said politely. His eyes, however, never left Emma’s and Elsa turned her attention back to him. “What can I get you?”

“4 beers and 4 shots of tequila.” Elsa chimed.

“Grilled cheese?” Killian asked Emma.

“With onion rings apparently. The thought of Smee’s onion rings were making August drool earlier. And make it two.” She responded as Killian poured their shots and set them in front of them. Elsa carefully grabbed three of them, letting Emma know she’ll meet her back at the table. Emma downed her shot quickly, wincing as the clear liquid burned her throat. Killian’s gaze sent a warmth up her neck and to her cheeks.

“You look nice, Swan.” He said eventually, pouring them each a shot. Killian held his glass to gently tap it against hers. They both downed the shot.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Aye, I know that, love. But I wear this every day.” Killian leaned forward on the bar in front of her. “So what’s the fun fact of the day?”

Emma looked confused. “The what?”

“You usually greet me with a weird fact whenever you come in here.” He paid attention. He listened to me , Emma thought. Part of her thought he never paid attention to the random things that came out of her mouth. She smiled. He was listening.

So she took a risk. “The whole button down, vest, fitted jeans thing really works for you.” Emma flirted.

Killian took the bait, smirking and raising an eyebrow at her, his voice dropping to a place she hadn’t heard before. “That black dress is really working for me. And I happen to quite like the red leather, love” Emma blushed bright red, her face matching the color of her jacket, and Killian pushed back against the bar, standing straight again. “Your friends are waiting for you. I’ll have Ruby bring your drinks in a second.”

“Tell Smee to rush that grilled cheese. I’m starving.” Emma said as she walked away, returning to the table her friends were at.

“Excuse me but who was that? What was that?” Elsa asked immediately.

“He’s the owner. I told you.” Emma stated, trying to avoid that conversation. “We’re friends.”

“Yeah, okay.” Elsa scoffed. Ruby brought over their drinks and another round of shots, and Elsa’s attention was suddenly elsewhere.

“Hey Emma! The shots are on the Captain.” Ruby said as she set everything down. “Anything else I can get you?”

Emma looked over at the bar to see Killian wink at her. She smiled and rolled her eyes at him. “I think we’re good."

For over an hour, they ate a little too much, drank a bit, and gossiped a little too much about the rumor going around the English Department that a student was sleeping with a professor. After a while Elsa went to get another drink and Robin went to talk to some friends in one of his classes, leaving August and Emma alone at the table.

“Elsa’s flirting with the bartender.” August commented.

Emma's eyes went wide with . . . jealousy? Not that Emma had any reason to be jealous. Killian could flirt with whomever he chose to. They spent one night together, literally sleeping. It didn’t mean anything. Did it?  

August noted her confusion and nodded his head in Elsa’s direction. Emma turned to look where he was motioning to. Elsa was leaning forward on the bar talking to Ruby. They were giggling and Elsa was blushing, sipping on her drink.

“She looks happy” Emma smiled. “And they’re definitely flirting.”

“Oh yeah they’re not subtle at all.”

A song came over the speakers that Elsa and Emma both love. Emma watched as Ruby bothered Killian into turning the volume up and Elsa looked back at Emma, grinning from ear to ear. They had danced to this song hundreds of times in Elsa’s dorm and August’s apartment. Elsa nearly ran over to her, pulling her to her feet. They were nearly screaming the lyrics at each other, their hips swaying with the music. It wasn’t long before most of the pub was dancing with them.

Killian laughed as he watched Emma. He had never seen her this carefree, this full of life. The sight of her with her friends having fun sent a shiver of warmth through his body. As unsettling as that was, he couldn’t take his eyes off her, wanting to save this image of her forever.

“Dance with her.” Ruby said to him, pulling Killian out of the trance Emma had put him in.

“What?”

“Go dance with her. I’ll manage the bar for a bit.” Ruby held her hand out for his phone so she could keep the music going. He rolled his eyes, handing it over. As the song ended Ruby kept the energy going by putting on one of her carefully curated dance party playlists.

Killian snuck up behind Emma, hands grabbing her waist from behind. “Hi, love,” he said into her ear, laughing as she squealed from the unexpected touch

Emma turned her head back to smile at him, recognizing his thick accent. “Killian!” She laughed, clearly a little tipsy by now. Emma leaned back against him, her body still swaying with the beat of the music that somehow keeps getting louder, her ass moving fluidly against his hips. Elsa bounced away, making her way over to Ruby at the bar, leaving Emma and Killian as alone as two people could be in a crowded pub.

Killian ran his hands up her sides, entirely lost in Emma and the music. She turned around, laughing in his arms. Her hands rested on his shoulders and his found their place on her hips, pulling her close to him.

She was singing along to the music entirely off key on purpose And he laughed at her, his body moving easily with and against hers. Killing kept her tight against him. If he wasn’t working, if they weren’t in a crowded room, Emma might find her hands wandering places other than where they were playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Killian’s blue eyes locked on hers and she struggled to catch her breath. Emma’s entire body was humming in reaction to the way he looked at her and the way his hands rested possessively on her hips. Suddenly Emma crashed her lips against his, pulling him closer to her. Shocked for a brief second, Killian’s eyes shut as he kissed her back, his passion, his eagerness matching Emma’s. His arms wrapped tightly around her and the world fell away around them. Emma’s entire body was on fire as she kissed him. She kissed him like she had been waiting to kiss him her whole life. He kissed her like she could heal every broken piece of him.

Then the song changed and Killian pulled back.

“Wow” Emma breathed, finally releasing the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding for so long.

“Aye." He grinned. "I have to get back to work, love,” Killian said, a tinge of disappointment noticeable in his voice as he stepped back, putting distance between them. “To be continued.”

Emma smirked at him as she made her way back to her table. August was lost in the crowd, as was Robin. She finished off the rest of her drink before joining Elsa, who was clearly oblivious to everything other than the cute bartender in front of her. Emma bumped her with her hip playfully.

“So he’s hot .” Elsa whispered, barely loud enough for Emma to hear over the music.

“He’s not bad.” Emma smirked before confiding in her friend. “I kissed him.”

“Stop.” Elsa gasped. “Tell me everything.”

“Oi, love. I didn’t take you to be the type to kiss and tell.” She heard Killian tease. Her face went bright red. She hadn’t realized he was standing so close or that she was talking as loud as she was.

“Eh it was average.” Emma teased back, pretending to ignore him while she continued her conversation with Elsa. “He could use some practice.”

Killian raised his eyebrows at her, and leaned in towards her across the bar. “Is that a proposition, Swan?”

“Potentially.” Emma’s head was starting to spin. “I think I’m going to head home though. I have a bit of a headache.”

“Do you want me to walk with you?” Elsa asked.

“Nah it’s just a few blocks. I’ll be fine. You have fun.” Emma said. “Do you know where August and Robin went?”

“Robin left a few minutes ago with that girl from his philosophy class. I think her name was Regina?”

“Hm go Robin.”

“August’s at the other end of the bar with some guys I don’t know.”

“Ah well, I’ll let him be. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” Emma asked, pulling Elsa into a hug.

“Definitely.”

Emma grabbed her jacket, bracing herself against the cold as much as possible. Everything was spinning around her. She didn’t remember having that much to drink. Her head was killing her. She stumbled a bit. These damn shoes . She felt sick, and dizzy, and weak. She heard footsteps behind her. Her legs gave out beneath her. Someone grabbed her upper arm tightly - too tightly - to keep her upright. Emma flinched at the pain in her arm. Suddenly her body was flush against another's, someone who she didn’t recognize.

“Let go.” Emma protested as much as she could but her body was betraying her.

“Shut up,” the man snarled at her. His voice was dark and rough.

It hit Emma like an earthquake, slow and confusing at first before the earth split beneath her. It hit her that this wouldn’t end well. There were few versions of stories like this that did. As a writer, as a woman, she knew. Emma didn’t know when she started crying. The cold wind felt colder against her wet cheeks and the dread of what would come next filled every fiber of her being.

And while she wasn’t religious, a familiar prayer popped into her head, a shadow of a memory from some of the religious-based group homes she had found herself in.

Hail Mary, full of Grace

She wanted to jerk her arm out of his grip, hit him wherever she was able too. She couldn’t tell if it was the fear or something else that was paralyzing her.

The Lord is with Thee

He walked her a few steps forward, her feet dragging against the sidewalk. No. No. No. Please. Even her voice was betraying her. His grip on her arm tightened when she tried everything she could to pull away.

Blessed art thou among women

Her body was trembling yet her mind was blank. Thoughts beyond the plea to a God she didn’t believe in were unable, unwilling to form. Emma refused to think about anything beyond the time it took for one foot to be dragged in front of the other. She couldn’t remember the next line of the prayer. She skipped it. Everything was simultaneously happening too fast and too slow.

Hail Mary, Mother of God

She could barely keep her eyes open or her body standing. She had to lean against him for support. This made Emma sick to her stomach. Tears fell faster as she begged to see tomorrow.

Pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death --

“Swan! You forgot your phone!” Killian called as he ran out to catch Emma. His voice cut through the night, interrupting the final word of her petition.

“LET HER GO!” She heard Killian run towards her.

The man in the hoodie cursed when he heard Killian’s voice and ripped Emma’s necklace from her neck. “I’ll get you one day, pretty. One day you’ll really fall and I’ll be waiting,” he whispered harshly. The man tossed Emma to the ground, discarding her from his grip, before sprinting away. Her head hit the concrete sidewalk. Pain and relief and fear and disgust and guilt washed over her.

Killian was kneeling at her side in an instant. “Emma, are you okay?” His accent was thick with concern as he lifted her head off the sidewalk. Everything was still spinning. Everything was still slipping away.

She opened her wet eyes to see Killian close to her. Everything was going dark. Everything was spinning. The only thing in focus was Killian’s blue eyes. Emma felt like she was drowning and the world around her was going dark.

Even though she felt herself sinking deeper, Killian’s touch, his presence, his voice gave her the strength to allow the word she’d been wanting to scream for the past minute and a half finally escape her lips.

“Help.”

[withyounct]

What’s wrong kid? (5)

Reader X Single dad!Jaehyun

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Words: 3.3k

Prompt: You notice a child crying at a school playground. You decide to see what’s up and meet an extremely stressed/extremely handsome father.

Prev | Next

A/n: I wrote some sad shit in the middle… Enjoy!

Time went by smoothly. You would pick up Hyunjin and hangout with Jaehyun when he got home at night, all while being a productive college student. Over time you two went on more dates and even brought Hyunjin along for the ride on a few of them. You learned that Hyunjin was a natural at ice skating and Jaehyun signed her up for the children’s class. Everything was pretty mundane for the most part. However, midterms where closing in and Jaehyun’s project was in full swing. Other than a few lunch dates off campus and dinner every now and again, you barely saw each other. There were times that you fell asleep on his couch while studying and found yourself waking up in his room the next morning. He would always leave notes about how cute your sleeping habits were or that he made breakfast and Hyunjin’s lunch before leaving, so you could sleep in if you wanted.

Hyunjin, being the sweetest child ever, would help you in any way she could. She would make you little snacks while you studied, picked dinners that didn’t take much time to make, offer to help you make flash cards, and even going as far as putting herself to bed. You about cried at how much of an angel she was.

After a few agonizing, brain numbing, weeks you were done with midterms and free to actually breathe.

Or so you thought.

It was Friday and you left your friends early to go pick up Hyunjin’s skating gear from her house before picking her up. She had missed several days of class because of how busy you and Jaehyun were. She of course was a saint about it, and you promised that she could skate to her hearts content when exams were done. She was immediately excited when she entered the car and bounced around the whole way there. She spotted her friends the moment she entered the building, taking her stuff, she waved you bye. You smiled at her retreating figure and found your usual spot on the bleachers.

Sighing, you ran your fingers through your hair. You weren’t feeling great, but blamed it on fatigue. One of the mothers sitting in front of you asked if you were alright. Smiling, you lied. You knew you were having the telling signs of a cold creeping up on you, but having just finished exams you convinced yourself you weren’t that unlucky.  An hour and a half later class ended, but Hyunjin wanted to stay a little longer and work on her spins. The coldness of the arena was getting to you more than usual at this point, but since it was kind of your fault she was behind in class, you let her. The next thirty minutes were torture for you and no amount of tugging on your sweater could warm you. You called Hyunjin and told her it was time to go with the promise of bringing her back tomorrow.

“Y/n are you okay?” Hyunjin asked as you were making dinner. She sat on top of the island with your help. You nodded your head and patted hers. As you tried to walk away she held on to the sleeves of your sweater and looked at you unconvinced.

“You look just like your father right now.” You laughed. “I’m okay. Just a little tired, promise.” You pinched her cheeks and went back to making dinner. You were thankful at how chatty Hyunjin was, she went on and on about everything and you zoned out. The rest of the evening went by peacefully and you were putting Hyunjin to sleep. On your way down the hall you heard the front door close. Turning into the living room your vision started to haze and you swayed to the side. In a matter of seconds Jaehyun was at your side.

“Hey are you okay?” He asked. He led you to the couch and felt your head. “Y/n, you’re burning up.” He stated. You leaned into the coolness of his hand and sighed.

“I should get home.” You whispered.

“No, you’re not going anywhere. You can’t walk without swaying let alone drive.” You were about to protest, but the look on his face was final. There was a little voice in the back of your head reminding you of how his wife died and you sat silently. Jaehyun pulled out his phone and pondered for a moment before dialing a number. He looked down at your panting figure while it rang.

“Taeyong I need a favor. Y/n is running a fever. If it’s not too much trouble, can you take Hyunjin for the weekend, so I can nurse her back to health without the risk of Hyunjin getting sick as well?”

“Say less. I'm on my way.” Taeyong replied without hesitation before hanging up. About twenty minutes later he showed up with an obscene about of medicine and other cold essentials. He cooed sadly at your small figure in the blanket burrito Jaehyun wrapped you in. He was busy petting your head while Jaehyun went to pack a few things for Hyunjin and retrieve her. She was very confused, but hugged your burrito form and left with Taeyong.

Jaehyun picked you up and transferred you to his room. There he buried you under more covers and it was getting hard to breathe, but looking at his concerned face, you kept it to yourself. He left to make you soup with the stuff Taeyong had bought and medicine. You stared at the ceiling bored until he came back. He sat by your side while you ate and tried to give you the liquid medicine afterwards. You, being a complete child, squirmed away from him and made a face. After a few seconds of squinting at each other you took it.

“So, a biology major who hates medicine?” He laughed as he laid you back down.

“Shut up, I'm dying.” You pouted. You looked up at him and bit your lip. “You know, my roommates wouldn’t mind picking me up. I don’t want you to get sick.”

Jaehyun looked at you a bit hurt. “No. You do so much for me and Hyunjin, so let me do this one thing, as your boyfriend, for you.” He pleaded, gently moving some strands of hair out of your face. You wiggled your way to him and placed your head on his thigh.

“Fine.” You muttered. He smiled and ran his fingers through your hair.

“Plus, it’s a good thing that I'm a responsible adult and got my flu shot.” He stated and there was a heavy silence from your end.

“Man, I knew I was forgetting something…” You laughed awkwardly. The last thing you remembered before falling asleep was Jaehyun trying to suffocate you with a pillow.

You woke up in the middle of the night feeling ten times worse. Sitting up you felt as if you were trying to cough up your lungs. Jaehyun rushed into the room.

“You okay? Never mind, dumb question.” He sat by you and rubbed your back until you calmed down. He left briefly to make you tea and held your back to his chest while you drank.

“This sucks.” You whined, handing him the empty mug. You turned and buried your face in his chest.

“I'm going to need you to always act this cute.” Jaehyun laughed while wrapping his arms around you.

“Jaehyun, I'm dying.” You whined into his chest; you felt the vibration of his laughter as well as his steady heartbeat.

“But you're so cute.” He kissed the crown of your head. You stayed like this and felt yourself drift away as Jaehyun rocked you back and forth.

The next morning you were surprised with breakfast in bed and a ridiculous amount of cuddles. Jaehyun had woken up pretty early to stop by your place, grab you a few things, and deal with a worried Kun and Ten. As the afternoon approached you got tired of laying down and wanted to walk around for a bit. Jaehyun held your cheeks in his hands to check your temperature. After squishing them, he decide that sitting in the garden and getting fresh air would do you good.

You held your arms out to be picked up and Jaehyun had to take a moment to compose himself at how cute you were. He very happily carried you outside, spinning you around every now and again.

Thankfully it was a pretty day out.  You decide to sit on the grass while Jaehyun sat on one of the benches. You laid back and soaked up the warmth of the sun. Smiling, you began to describe the meaning of the various plants across the large garden. Jaehyun, surprised at your vast knowledge, moved to sit by you.

“Peace Lilly, peace and hope. Usually given after someone has died.” You said the last part quietly. You both stared silently at the large plant. It was alone in the greenhouse at the center of the garden. It was beautiful in a haunting way.

“Lilies were her favorite flower. The irony of that.” Jaehyun said suddenly. “I met her freshman year. We were both at a party neither of us wanted to be at, but had really pushy friends. I had finally escaped them and was hanging out outside when she appeared. She was so beautiful and there was an air of confidence that clung to her. I downed my drink, calmed my nerves, and walked up to her.”

You smiled softly, imagining a nervous fetus Jaehyun. You pulled your knees up and leaned on them.

“We talked for hours about everything. She was an English and education double major and wanted to be a teacher. At the time I was undecided and had no idea what I wanted to do. She hated coffee and I can’t function without it. She loved mornings and signed up only for morning classes, while I picked the latest ones I could. We were so different, but we just clicked. I asked her out on a date right there in then. She thought I was drunk and not in my right mind, but I was adamant, and we went on a café date the next day.” He laughed. “We dated for a few years and she was the one that pushed me to do architecture. I screwed up and got her pregnant; we found out and she wanted to keep it. At first I didn’t and panicked, we were both young and way over our heads to raise a child, but she sat me down and told me that we’ll make it work. She finished up the semester and put college on hold. That was around the time I proposed to her. She said yes of course. We had, in my opinion, one of the greatest weddings two college students could have. Taeil was our DJ and it was awesome. She had Hyunjin with no difficulties and the first thing I remember was how small she was. They placed her in my hands, and I was afraid that I would hurt her if I held to tight. When she got discharged from the hospital I baby proofed the whole apartment to an outrageous extent. Hyunjin couldn’t even hold her head up and I was worried about her bumping into the corner of the table.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Two years later, I finished up school and was interning when I got the call. Some drunk asshole collided with her car on the driver’s side. She died instantly. Hyunjin was in the back seat right behind her; it was a miracle she survived. Hyunjin was in the hospital for a few weeks for broken ribs and trauma. She used to have nightmares about that night, and I would hold her until she fell asleep. She hasn’t had any in almost two years, but she doesn’t talk about her mother much.”

You didn’t know you were crying until Jaehyun wiped one of your tears from your cheek.

“Sorry. Dead wife talk with my girlfriend is inappropriate.” He laughed, but there wasn’t any mirth behind it.

“No, I'm happy you told me.” You tried to smile through the tears, but it slowly faded. “I'm really sorry.” You wept. No matter how hard you tried, the tears didn’t stop. Your heart physically ached for him. He continued to wipe your tears until you calmed down.  

Jaehyun tried his hardest to make you smile and resulted in saying really cringey jokes, which, for some reason, worked.

You sneezed and Jaehyun, laughing, said it was time to go back to quarantine. He picked you up once more and took you back to his room. You spent the rest of the afternoon reading a book off of his bookshelf while he worked on his laptop next to you.

“I used to get sick a lot as a child.” You said having the overwhelming feeling to share something personal. Jaehyun trusted you enough to know about his past, so you thought you would extend the same courtesy. He shut his laptop and turned your way, giving you his undivided attention.

“I was born with a pretty big hole in my heart and not in the cliché way. It’s called atrial septal defect, and it’s not uncommon for infants. It usually closes itself up, but mine was too large for that, so I had surgery. Along with that I was a pretty unhealthy child. Low iron deficiency, prone to anemia, asthma. Colds turned to fevers quick and would leave me bed ridden for days. I remember when I was in elementary school we were going on a field trip to the mountains. I knew I was getting a cold, but I didn’t want to miss it. So, I didn’t say anything.  I had my inhaler, so I thought I would be fine. Like an inhaler was a cure all.” You laughed. “We were walking about when I started to feel dizzy and breathing was getting harder. I panicked and forgot I had my inhaler and eventually fainted. My friend, Lucas, somehow got me on his back and carried me to one of the teachers. We’re still friends to this day.” You smiled. “I woke up and my parents were there. I remember how mad they were. When I got home I was grounded for being so reckless.”

“You were just a kid. A sick one at that.” He furrowed his brows.

“Yeah well they weren’t great. They divorced when I was in middle school and have since remarried. I barely talk to them. I'm a hundred percent sure me being sick all the time put a strain on their marriage and they just wanted an escape from each other and me.”

“That’s not true. Parents unconditionally love their kids no matter what.” He argued.

“That’s sweet that you think that, but not all parents are as amazing as you. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t work that way.” You smiled. “My father was the first to move away and I haven’t talked to him in years. I lived with my mother. Well kind of. Her now husband moved in and they had a healthly boy, who she loves more than anything. I got a job while I was in high school and met the rest of my friends during that time and would spend more time at their houses than my own. Since moving to college, I haven’t talked to either of them and that’s fine with me.”

“Wow.” Jaehyun said softly.

“Yeah.” You chuckled. “But my friends are like my family and they get a kick out of babying me. Kun and Ten act as if they physically pushed me out their wombs and because of you I got two cool dads. And I have you and Hyunjin. So, all things given, I'm pretty spoiled.” You beamed.

Jaehyun had a pretty tough time separating himself from you, but you were getting hungry and he had to start preparing dinner. You offered to help him, but was told not to move an inch and was tasked with picking a non-horror movie to watch, even though it was technically his turn to pick the movie.

You ended up watching your favorite Ghibli movie.

The next day Jaehyun was working on stuff in his home office and you felt a lot better. You were walking around the garden again and noticed the peace lilly’s leaf tips started to turn brown. Looking around you found a watering can and watered the plant.

Monday morning rolled around and you were restored to full health. Jaehyun had dropped you off at home on his way to work. You had a hard time peeling your roommates off you when you entered the apartment. With many kicks and punches from your end, you got ready and left for class. The rest of the afternoon was a carbon copy of the morning. Your friends were overly worried about your health, and as sweet as it was and as much as you loved the attention and them, you wanted to choke them.

You left early, wanting to pick up a few things before getting Hyunjin. You smiled when you walked into the flower shop.

“Jungwoo?” You called. The said blonde appeared from around the corner and smiled at you.

“Y/n. Guess who passed the calculus mid-term? Me!” He sang happily. “Thanks for the notes.”

“Any time. I need help finding a couple of things.” Jungwoo, being a fairy incarnated, helped you find everything with ease. You paid and picked up Hyunjin. You told her that there was a task to complete after homework and she was more so excited than confused.  

While she did her work, you moved all the things you bought to the garden. You yelled at Hyunjin to meet you there when she was done. About twenty minutes later she walked into the garden and entered the greenhouse in awe. You had bought new soil, plant food, and fertilizer all for the peace lilly as well sunflowers and lavenders to plant around it. You dug out a ladder from one of the back sheds and had lights placed next to it.

You learned over time that Hyunjin spoke with her eyes as well as her mouth and they were both screaming in excitement when you passed her a pair of children’s gardening gloves.

Jaehyun came home way early than usual and was confused when he found you both out back. Hyunjin saw her dad in the distance and ran to him screaming about how amazing everything is. She handed him her gloves, telling him to take over for a minute so she could use the bathroom. Perplexed, Jaehyun walked across the garden and into the greenhouse.

To say he was taken aback would be an understatement. The lilly was surrounded by rows of sunflowers and lavenders and the ceiling of the greenhouse was decorated in fairy lights.

“Okay before you say anything, I was walking by yesterday and the lilly wasn’t looking too hot and I had the spare time and I remember Hyunjin saying her favorite flower was sunflower and the lavenders paired nicely with everything and the lilly just looked really lonely in here and I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries an-” You were too caught up in pointing at everything, defending yourself that you failed to realize Jaehyun level with you. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips before smiling. The look in his eyes was something that left you winded; it held an underlining message that you couldn’t decipher and before you could comment on it Hyunjin returned and the three of you finished tending to the garden.

Jaehyun spun a pen in between his fingers and stared off into space. He and his friends were in one of the conference rooms not doing anything, mainly just hiding from their secretaries and responsibilities.

“I'm in love with Y/n.” He said simply. The sudden statement caused Yuta to choke on his drink and eyes flew Jaehyun’s way.

“Holy shit.” Johnny smirked.

[silvensstorycorner]

Things I wanted to say

My friends have been having a holiday/New Year's sleepover every year on New Year's Eve since high school. We'd see a movie, then go to one of our houses for hot pot, then hang out until the ball dropped, drinking sparkling apple cider and white grape juice out of wine glasses as we watched, chatting in a blanket pile oozing off the couch until we dozed off to Netflix and woke up to make a sleepy breakfast in pajamas. Things have adapted over the years: we don't go out to a theater for a movie anymore usually, and oftentimes not all six of us can be there, but it's still New Year's. And usually I love it.

I don't really know what happened in 2018. It was at Sophia's house that year (the regular spot), but for some reason, it was a lot more...all-out. She invited us plus boyfriends plus anyone we wanted to bring. She told me to invite my roommates so they all could meet them (my roommates declined). My family was invited. So Mom, Dad, my brother, and I all went this time instead of just me, and even though I had been going to her house for seven years and was comfortable with the normal level of unusual chaos that passed through its walls, this time I walked through the front door and very quickly felt...bad.

There were at least ten more people than just us six, some old friends (not as close but still friends) from high school, some I hadn't met before. Her three kid cousins were running around the place. The entire kitchen island was made into a bar, with twenty or thirty bottles of alcohol and a handful of types of edibles. Some were probably already tipsy. There was hot pot and fondue and trays of snacks and charcuterie and so much lying out for the picking.

It wasn't New Year's. It was a party.

And I do not like parties.

From that evening in 2018 for over a full 24 hours into 2019, I was choked up, holding back tears, not saying much most of the time because talking made it harder not to cry. My family left after a couple of hours because they weren't going to stay the night. I mentioned that I kinda might’ve wanted to go home, too, feeling like shit for breaking tradition but also currently feeling like shit from whatever new anxiety-inducing thing was happening to me, but my parents are bad at subtext and listening and laughed and asked what I was talking about and left.

I remember a few moments when I felt okay. Exchanging gifts, I think, and the following day, when only three of us were still there, we watched a bad low-budget horror movie. I felt content then. On the other hand, I lost hold and ended up crying three or four times, alone or in the dark or behind my hair so no one knew because no one likes a downer.

But then it's New Year's Day, and the sun is beginning to dip, and it's finally acceptable for me to go home. I go into the master bedroom to change out of pajamas into clothes, and Sophia's there, collecting things to go take a shower. I forget what small talk happened before because after a beat, she says, "Hey, are you alright? You didn't seem as joke-y earlier."

I choked up again because typical goddamn bodily response. We're turned away from each other, and I was either halfway through putting on a shirt or in a bra and holding my shirt. The silence stretched too long, so I squeaked out something. Probably "I'm fine." She looked over and asked if I was sure, and I broke.

She goes into mom friend mode and asked what happened, what was it, and I said it was nothing, I had been trying not to cry since first stepping into the house, and she immediately hugs me from behind as I'm standing there crying. My throat won't work without making the tears worse. I want to tell her I didn't know exactly what happened but I knew the pieces. That I had developed depression 4-6 months prior. That I had failed the semester because of it. That I was put on academic probation because of it despite my prior 3-year, 3.6 GPA. That I didn't know if my international internship and scholarships were in jeopardy. That I didn't drink because alcohol is repulsive, in scent and implications and cultural obsession. That I can smell the moment someone opens a bottle of wine from two rooms away. That the scent sometimes gives me a headache. That the smell of weed is even worse and gives me a migraine. That I was paranoid that college had changed my friends so much that they'd give me alcohol or weed without telling me. That talking about relationships and making innuendos and teasing me for not understanding them made me want to hide under a blanket. That even though everyone was nice and amicable, they weren't supposed to be here because it was our thing. That I don't like children and having to listen to and entertain her three cousins for twenty-four hours made my spine bristle. That I was afraid my discomfort around children would be taken as insulting her family. That the usual blaring kitchen stereo and the shouting from stairs and the scream singing and the mock nagging yells about how I was cleaning dishes slowly and wrong when I could've been not doing them at all really hit a nerve this time. That I was hiding this from my very best friends because I was confused and felt silly and illogical for not having fun at my favorite event of the year, the one time I see some of these people anymore after we spread out across the world for college and life, especially when everyone else was enjoying themself. That maybe everyone had grown up and outgrew me in college because they enjoy drinking and smoking and dating and sex and I don't, and I was just a buzzkill in an environment no longer fit for me. That I knew I was wrong. That most to all of this was a product of depression putting thoughts in my head and amplifying responses and that there was no way to anticipate or adjust to it, and that I didn't know when it would get better. That she wasn't a therapist and had her own troubles to worry about and I had no right to shoulder my own onto her, too.

But while all that and more is flying by in bits and pieces in my mind, my throat betrayed me and knotted up, leaving me standing there, clutching my shirt, staring up at the ceiling with tears streaming and breaths quickening to stuttered hyperventilation as my friend hugged me, and all I managed to choke out was that I didn’t like alcohol before the meager admittance activated a defense mechanism and shut me up with unabated sobbing.

Eventually, it subsided. She asked me if I wanted to take a shower instead, but I declined. I put on my shirt proper and sat on the bed, wiping my face while she took a shower with the door open so she could ramble nothings and tell me about new books she got and stuff her animation professors said.

We've never talked about it again, and I don't know if she told our other friends. Within the hour, one friend made another innuendo and laughed with a teasing reminder that sex and love exist and there's nothing I can do to stop it, and while Sophia didn't say anything directly, she looked at me and then changed the subject to something unrelated.

She checks up on me every few months, asking how I am with a little more insistence than someone who uses it as a casual opener.

The following year, I was worried whatever that was would happen again. I still had depression, I had failed one class for a second time, and both my childhood dogs and my grandmother had died within six months. I even put off going to Sophia’s a bit by going to see Star Wars in theaters with my family beforehand.

But when I walked in the door, the last to arrive, it was already better. My family didn't stay--they didn't even come in with me so they wouldn't rile up the dogs. There weren't crowds or kids or deafening music or a kitchen littered in liquor. There were just my friends, standing around the hot pot, with meats and gyoza and only one or two bottles of wine and sparkling juices and a whole roast ham.

I walked up to the table, bags in one hand and petting giant dogs with the other, but before I even get a greeting out, Sophia asked if I was okay. I froze, afraid my fears were that obvious and thinking they thought I was avoiding them and didn't love them anymore and feeling a weight begin to form in my throat. But she said my complexion seemed off or pale or something. I said I was fine, she said cool, the broth just started boiling, come get meat, and that was that.

That night, sitting in front of the fire, opening presents by the tree, I did cry again, because I was laughing harder than I had in a long time.