#like sorry my highschool had really poor american history

[gar-trek]

I honestly know nothing about the Alamo 

[archadianskies]

jupiter grayscale

@dbhrarepairs Tuesday Day 2: Highschool/College AU / Unrequited; post-revolution not!Markus/Simon, RK900/Simon + Markus/Josh

It shouldn’t disappoint him, shouldn’t wound him so deeply since he expected this outcome but it does anyway, it does knife into him like a cold blade when he realises he is, yet again, not the first choice. He reasons he’s come to terms with it, this state of just being, just existing, just surviving the day to day. He survives the revolution, even sort of has a hand in it though all he really did was echo Markus’ decisions and try to keep the casualties as low as possible. It almost costs him his life at one point, and Simon concludes it would’ve been easier to just die. His life isn’t worth much, he should’ve just absorbed the role of the martyr and died for the cause. Anything would’ve been better than trudging along in this limbo where things continue to happen all around him, but not to him. 

He’s being melodramatic, if he’s honest with himself, but he figures he’s earned that right whilst watching his close friend fall in love with the man he’s fallen in love with too. 

Josh deserves this, he deserves to be loved by the leader of their people, he deserves Markus and Markus deserves him too. Josh is strong and eloquent and strives for the integration of their people with mankind. He is also soft and gentle and affectionate, caring and open with others. There’s no one in Jericho like Josh, and there’s no one in Jericho Simon is more closer to than Josh. The PJ500 even gave Simon his Detroit University sweater when Simon’s temperature regulator finally gave out. If there’s anyone who can match Markus’ headstrong determination, his poetic eloquence, his compassion and leadership, it’s Josh. Not Simon. No, there’s no way Simon can ever compare to Josh and the vast sea of knowledge about American history and civil rights in his head. It’s exactly what their people need, what Markus needs, to build a future together with the humans. They are a beautiful, harmonious match and it makes Simon ache right down to his core to see them together. Two beautiful beings so at peace with themselves, so confident in their conviction. And rather handsome, too. Very handsome.

Everything happens at breakneck speed; they’re alive, they’re granted the status of living beings, they’re given basic rights to a surname, to a minimum wage, to accommodation and privacy. The chaos keeps Simon busy, and he’s grateful for it because there’s hardly any time to wallow in the poisoned well of his thoughts. He stays as neutral as can be when they are at meetings, at press releases, at city council even when it claws him apart to see Markus and Josh leaning towards each other like a sunflower to the sun. They whisper to each other, they twine their fingers together beneath the table, they preen each other’s ties, lapels, they bump their brows fondly. They are in love and Simon loves and loathes it at the same time.

“I have been assigned as your security detail.” The RK900 is new in every sense of the word; the completed upgrade of Connor’s RK800 prototype model, the latest addition to the DPD workforce, the most recent deviant in his known circle. 

“Because I’m the obsolete PL600?” Simon muses with a pinch of dark humor. The RK900 frowns.

“Because you are a leader, one of the Jericho Four, and therefore a target for anti-android groups.” He was only half joking, but the other android answers so sincerely it makes him laugh.

“And who is protecting Markus?” 

“My...brother, Connor.” There’s only a slight stumble when he says it, the word a little awkward on his tongue. “He has a security team already set up inside. I am to escort you to the Town Hall from here.”

“Do you have a name?”

“My name is Ronan.” It’s also a little awkward on his tongue, like tasting something he’s never tasted before but knows he’ll grow to like. “It’s derived from the Japanese word ronin, meaning a masterless warrior.” It’s endearing, and Simon realises Ronan is a little like the child in the playground who is new to town and sees everyone playing with their friends and wants to belong too but just doesn’t know how. He reaches out and preens the collar of his smart jacket.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ronan.”

“I am...new. To everything. It is a lot to ask of a Jericho leader, but I wish to learn how to navigate the world.” Ronan speaks hesitantly, the way someone does when fearing they would be struck at any moment. Like a beaten dog. “It is confusing. I was programmed to be...something else. Something violent. But CyberLife had to deviate me as part of the agreement to release all remaining models.” 

“And now you don’t have a clear purpose.” Simon surmises with a sad smile. “That’s the trouble with deviancy, Ronan. No one really has a clear guide but then again that’s just how it is for humans, too.”

The RK900 seems to deflate at that, visibly discouraged, and he looks so earnestly lost it makes Simon smile. The new kid in the playground. He seems to come to his senses and straightens his posture, tilting his head slightly down to compensate for their height difference.

“It is snowing heavily. Your temperature regulator is malfunctioning, you will need to wear adequate clothing to compensate.” Ronan’s shrugging out of his sharp tailored jacket and gently draping it around Simon’s shoulders. “We should leave now or else you will be late.”

Simon bursts out laughing, because the whole thing is just ridiculous isn’t it? A state of the art detective-slash-soldier being paired with a malfunctioning obsolete caretaker. Ronan blinks at him, confused by his outburst and Simon manages a smile. 

“I’m sorry you’re the one stuck with me.” 

“It’s an honour.” Ronan murmurs, as if it’s a confession he’s hesitant to voice. “The RK200 would not have had any deviants to lead if you hadn’t cared for them first.”

He hadn’t thought of it that way, and he stands there stunned as he processes his words. 

“Our taxi will be arriving shortly.” Ronan gestures for him to follow, and Simon’s feet carry him out because his mind is still reeling. This whole time the world has been whizzing passed at breakneck speed and he’s been standing still, stagnant, trapped in a cycle of self-loathing and pity, and now the world’s taken a moment, put the future on pause as it hands him a gift. A new project, a new distraction. 

They sit in the taxi, silent except for the news bulletin playing on the small screen. It’s a beautiful winter’s day, and last night’s snowfall is being dusted with a fresh layer like something out of a Hallmark movie. The vehicle is warm, Ronan discreetly turning on the heating when they’d first settled in and Simon’s not sure what to do. He’s used to fussing over people, not having people fuss over him. 

“Where do you stay, when you’re not on active duty?” 

“I have a small room at the precinct with a charging bed.” At the sight of Simon’s disturbed expression, he continues. “Sometimes if the situation calls for it I will stay in the guestroom at Detective Reed’s apartment.”

“You poor thing.” Simon commiserates and the corners of his mouth twitch up into a brief smile.

“He has two felines who are far better company.” Ronan holds out his hand and shows a holophoto of a pure black, and a fluffy tortoiseshell cat. “If it were not for them I would not stay there.”

Simon laughs at that and is delighted when Ronan chuckles softly too. He looks a little like Connor, but not too much; he’s a little leaner, a little sharper, more intimidating- but they smile the same. His eyes crinkle up like Connor’s, his mouth makes a wide pleasing shape. Simon lets himself fall in love a little. He can’t hurt himself any more than he already has, and Ronan is so far out of his league he figures it’s pretty safe to have a little crush.

*~*~*

He’s not exactly sure how he’s become the nominated liaison between Jericho and the DPD but he’s not altogether unhappy with the decision. As much as he loves being a caretaker, loving and nurturing the abandoned YK500s and helping them integrate with human children- it’s nice to be given a job interacting with adults. Josh also pointed out his visage helps put humans at ease; apparently a caucasian with blond hair and blue eyes seems more trustworthy than a very handsome professor and all around gentleman with dark skin but what would Simon know. 

Carefully setting down the tray of TeaRiums on the reception desk, he plucks one out and hands it to Stephanie the sweet ST300 deviant.

“Good morning Steph.”

“A very good morning to you, Simon, thank you.” She giggles, accepting the sweet heated beverage. “Meeting’s been delayed a little as Captain Fowler is presently stuck in traffic but you’re welcome to sit and wait.” 

“Thanks, I’ll head on in.” Tray back in his hands, he passes through the security gates and heads for a familiar set of desks. “Good morning Connor, this is for you.”

“Oh, thank you Simon.” The android detective breaks into a wide smile, eager and puppylike and endearing. 

“And this one is for you, Ronan.” Simon smiles softly, offering the other tall cup.

“For me?” Ronan blinks in surprise as he accepts the drink, and Simon gathers the android is probably not used to being given anything in general. “Thank you. I’ve never had one of these before.”

Simon sits on the edge of his desk, the last cup in his hands. “Well now that we’re considered living beings like humans, capitalism has to find a way to profit from us too.” Connor snorts back a laugh, and Ronan barely manages to hide a growing smile as he takes a sip from his cup. Adorable, Simon thinks, he’s actually quite adorable.

*~*~*

It’s snowing heavily, certainly not the picturesque flurry of a Hallmark movie, and he really, really should not be outside. But he is because he’s stubborn and he hates appearing broken and weak when their people have suffered far worse. Simon grits his teeth and forces himself to bear it, to work through the sluggishness and cascade of errors and stiffness in his joints. He can do this one thing, this one damn thing, surely, and hand deliver important documents to the mayor and attend the meeting. 

“You shouldn’t be outside, it is well below freezing.” Is the first thing Simon hears when he manages to open his eyes. Ronan is looking at him in alarm, reaching for his hands and cupping them in his. The other android is forcing his temperature to spike so Simon can leech his warmth and Simon hates himself a little bit more at how quickly his system soaks it up. 

“What are you doing here Simon?”

“The mayor requested the signed documents be brought to his office and discussed with one of us Four.” Simon’s voice comes out slightly staticky, and he’d be mortified with embarrassment if he weren’t trying so damn hard just to stay functioning. “What are you doing here?”

“...The mayor informed the DPD about this meeting and requested adequate security.”

Simon manages a huff of a laugh, feeling ever more sorry for the both of them in this very moment. Ronan lets go of his hands in order to shrug off his rather handsome new trenchcoat, and he drapes the heavy navy wool garment around Simon’s shoulders like a warm blanket. He’s not sure where Ronan’s taking his satrorial cues from but he does appreciate how the android is always so impeccably groomed. The shelter of the foyer and the warmth from Ronan’s coat starts to compensate for Simon’s broken regulator, and his system finally starts to ease him away from emergency shutdown. It’s ridiculous. He’s ridiculous. How he’s still alive is a mystery to everyone including himself. So he laughs and it sounds a bit like a nervous crazy giggle, like scratchy white noise, but it feels good to get it out anyway. 

“Were you expecting Josh?”

“Yes.” Ronan nods, frowning as Simon continues to giggle. “The nature of this meeting and the weather led me to assume it would be Josh.”

“He and Markus have to prepare for the White House trip.” The mild buzz of hysteria fades a little around the edges as he remembers how fondly they looked at each other, discussing their hopes for a day of sightseeing and precious, private relaxation away from their duties. “North has her hands full with her Eden Club outreach program so that left me.”

“You should have told me.” He sounds so disappointed Simon feels guilty. “I would have arranged for adequate transportation and escorted you here.”

“You really don’t have to worry about me-”

“But I do.” Ronan interjects firmly. “I do worry, Simon.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re one of Jericho’s leaders, you’re an important public figure, and-” he seems to catch himself, eyes widening slightly before he averts his gaze completely. 

“And?” 

“And you’re important to me.” He says it so quietly yet with such conviction, and Simon’s pretty sure this isn’t happening and he’s actually constructing this dream scenario as he’s dying somewhere outside in the snowstorm. “You’ve been endlessly patient with me and helped make sense of my deviancy. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, when you had to be neither of those things. I am here today, the way I am, because of your kindness and your patience.”

“Ronan...” Simon sighs and he’s exhausted, bone-tired as he leans forward and rests his brow against his shoulder. He doesn’t recognise who he is after the violence against them stopped. Who is he, now the revolution is over? All the iterations of him, the Burbank family caretaker Simon, the machine Simon, the Jericho caretaker Simon- they’re all previous chapters in a book that was meant to end but now has an excruciating unplanned epilogue. 

“Don’t say you cannot believe such claims, because you spend your days giving our people hope.” Ronan chastises sternly. “And if you can’t force yourself to believe those claims, then at least believe me.” 

He closes his eyes, turning his head so he’s resting his cheek against Ronan’s shoulder, and the other android hesitates briefly before wrapping his arms around him. When he continues, his voice is softer, his tone tinged with reverence.

“You are Simon of the Jericho Four, and Jericho would not be complete without you. Each of you bring different skills to the table, and yours is no less crucial than the others. Believe me, please.”

What more does he have to lose, really? He left his heart somewhere on that roof in Stratford Tower, or perhaps it’s still inside the rotting hull of the freighter full of ghosts now lying on the bottom of the canal because it’s certainly not in his own chest, or the chest of Markus Manfred. 

“I’m not used to being treated kindly,” a pause, a forced laugh, “or even just being seen.”

“Neither am I.” Ronan murmurs, words smudged in Simon’s hair. “But I see you, Simon. And you see me.”

*~*~*

It’s a quiet thing, a soft steady thing that gradually manifests rather than something intense and explosive and dramatic consuming his life. It’s a small box of Ronan’s things, all his worldly possessions fitting in so small a container, sitting on the table in Simon’s apartment. It’s Ronan’s jackets hanging in his closet. It’s Ronan’s hands, with an average crush force strong enough to crumple a vehicle, brushing him so softly, featherlight and reverent as if the android longs to map him completely by touch alone. They kiss one unremarkable day in December when Ronan comes home and Simon’s finished his duties for the meantime. He gives him a box.

“I have a gift for you.”

“A gift? It’s still three weeks until Christmas.” Simon teases lightly, running his finger along the black cardboard. 

“It isn’t for Christmas. It’s just a gift I want to give you.” He says matter of factly, the delivery so earnest it always makes Simon smile. He opens the box and it’s a biocomponent he doesn’t recognise.

“It’s a prototype.” Ronan explains hesitantly. “I asked a large favour of the Kamskis and they were surprisingly obliging.”

“The Kamskis?” Simon echoes in surprise. “This is a Kamski prototype?”

“It’s an upgraded thermal regulator.” 

“Oh.” His vision blurs suddenly, and the emotions get stuck somewhere in his chest between his hearts. Plucking the component from the box, he turns it this way and that to admire it. There’s no serial number, just ‘SMN600’ branded along one of the curves. “Ronan I-” He trails off, finally meeting those stormy grey eyes and finding them glossy with emotion too. They lean in at the same time, their mouths meeting in a kiss that’s a little clumsy from nerves and buoyed with hopeful giddiness. When they part, Simon places the component in Ronan’s hands before stepping back and beginning to undress. He lays against the bed and Ronan crawls atop him as he pulls open his chest cavity. They don’t speak, they don’t dare to, as Simon reaches inside himself and pulls the broken component free. Ronan’s fingers are warm when they ease inside, ever careful, ever gentle as he slots the new component in its place. Their eyes meet again, and then their lips do a moment later and Ronan presses him down into the bed as Simon opens his mouth for more. He wants to drown in him, he wants him to wash clean the poisonous well of his thoughts and leave something pure in its wake. They kiss, again and again and again, and Simon doesn’t think of Markus anymore. 

Ronan doesn’t return to the converted storage room at the precinct and Simon no longer comes home to an empty apartment. They build a life together, something just for them. It’s a quiet, soft, steady love that grows confidently, like the tired withered thorns blooming brightly after the snow melts.

[twodaysintojune]

At the Edge of Change

Supernatural, Casbriel, Warnings - Fluff Second part of At the Edge of Time

Long Story Masterlist, One Shot Masterlist

Find me at AO3

“I want to be a lawyer.”

Gabriel and Castiel looked at the nephil like he had grown another head.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I… I want to be a lawyer. I have been travelling throughout the world for years now and I have done as much good as I can killing monsters but there’s so much we could do to improve the lives of every human being in the world if we helped rewrite the laws they work with… I just have to give it a try.”

“Jack, we’re celestial beings, we shouldn’t interfere with the human world that way.”

“No uncle Gabriel, you are celestial beings. But I am half a celestial being. Don’t you get it? The only reason I had stayed on the side killing monsters was because they were supernatural beings like I am. But I had been looking at it the other way around and I’ve realized that I have to work as a human too.” 

Castiel thought with fondness how Jack’s smile was still as bright as it had been when he had first met him. He was surprised at how he had been able to keep that core belief in humankind’s goodness, just as much as Sam had once.

“Well then, you’d better find out how to get some fake papers. Nobody’s gonna believe you’re over sixty years old.” 

Gabriel turned to Castiel with a shocked look while Jack beamed at him.

“Are you kidding me!? He’s the most powerful being in the world, can create whatever he wants from scratch, even angels, and you’re gonna let him throw himself at the eternally mundane and boring doom of a career in Law?”

“Jack is right Gabriel, he has to live as a human if he wants to understand how they work and how to help them best. The life of a hunter is a kind of way to live as a human but it’s not the norm. Millions of people walk around the earth never encountering themselves with an ounce of weird.”

Gabriel was stunned, he motioned to answer back but whatever it was he wanted to convey against the idea he realized that neither Castiel or Jack were going to be convinced by his points. He finally groaned and threw his hands.

“Whatever, do what you want. If your dad says you can then who am I to stop it.”

Jack looked at him for a second and turned serious.

“Uncle Gabriel, you are part of my family, of course I care about what you think.”

Gabriel looked at Jack stunned before flushing and looking aside.

“W...well I think it’s stupid but if you really want to I guess it’s ok…”

Gabriel approached Jack and placed his hands over his shoulders, he sighed a bit sad.

“And I know that your father would have been proud.”

Jack’s eyes trembled for a second before he smiled widely.

“But I’ll only be completely okay with it as long as you apply to Stanford.”

Castiel sniffed a bit. When he felt like he couldn’t love Gabriel more, he proved him that there was always something else that made him the best in the world. They bid Jack goodbye and asked him to contact them in case he needed anything. Gabriel had proposed to just snap his fingers to provide Jack with his papers and a bank account but he had said he could do it. Still Gabriel kept counting the days until the nephil gave in and called them for something. There was so much to deal with when it came to setting his existence as a normal human being in order. Birth records, school documents, bank histories. Gabriel’s head was hurting just by thinking of all of that but to his surprise the only moment they received a call was when Jack had received the date of his entrance exam. Maybe he was still seeing Jack as a child.

The next day, Jack appeared at the throne room with two boxes literally filled with books. The highschool papers he had were forged so he had not had to study up until that point. It was quite a funny sight to look at Gabriel and Castiel sitting on the floor writing down notes on some heavenly issues while their son hoarded the desk. Right now he was being schooled on History by Zepheruel.

“Okay but why I cannot write down what really happened to Cleopatra then?”

“You have to understand Jack, that we know what really happened because we were there to watch. That has always been our job. But humans do not have this insight. They have to look at the vestiges of the past and make conjectures on what really happened. Which is why you have to remember what’s on the book and work with that, otherwise you’ll get bad grades because you did not adhere to the knowledge they hold.”

“Even when that knowledge is wrong?”

“In History, there’s nothing much you can do unless you’re able to bring evidence of an event unfurling in a different way.”

“Very much like a trial.” Chimed in Gabriel, who was leaning against the couch, legs sprawled in front of him and a couple of notes scattered around him.

Poor Jack was having the worst of headaches with that. Fortunately for him, Math had been completely straightforward and he had loved that. You simply had to follow the formula to get the right answer. Castiel helped him when he got stuck at Literature and, to everyone’s shock, Gabriel pretty much gave him a master class on Physics and Chemistry.

“How are you able to demonstrate how each law works so well?” Asked Castiel awed at his partner. For him, and probably for all the other angels, the laws of movement were an inherent knowledge. They worked with them on instinct so it was extremely hard to explain them to anyone. 

The rest of the angels were just as awed as Castiel, Gabriel had started his lecture only with Jack and Castiel as attendants but eventually more angels arrived with other errands in mind but ultimately stayed due to the simple fact that they were witnessing an archangel imparting the understandings of god’s laws.

Gabriel snickered at Castiel. “Probably one of the few perks of arriving early to the party.” He winked playfully at him.

“Neither Michael or Raphael ever bothered to explain us any of that...” Said Haruel still impressed by all that had been taught.

“Yeah, that might not have been really high on their priorities.” Gabriel sighed and then looked at everyone. “Alright people, that’s it for today! Jack needs to rest to absorb everything he has learned so far. If you need anything with me I’ll be back in six hours.” 

With the makeshift class dispersed, Gabriel and Castiel helped Jack order his notes and sent him to his room. Once he was settled there Castiel sighed and walked towards their room, knowing perfectly well that those six hours Gabriel had imparted were meant to be shared only with each other.

“I really can’t believe that Jack is going to Stanford.”

“As long as he passes the exam that is.” Smirked Gabriel, following lightly Castiel’s path. 

A month passed and Jack presented his exam. He was extremely nervous. That day they all sat at a diner near the University when it all finished. Poor Jack looking just as spent as the day he had gone reckless and decided to create twenty angels at the same time.

He rambled on about the questions and the time he had been given for each of them and how he had totally forgotten everything about over half of the American presidents because he never really thought that it would be important to know about them even when they were on American land. Gabriel laughed heartily at this “Yeah, they get conceited like that.” was all he said about it.

Later on that day, they left Jack at the bunker after reassuring him he had done great and that he was bound to pass the exam. He deserved to lay on the bed and either fall asleep or binge watch the fairly new Dune series he hadn’t been able to catch up on while Castiel and Gabriel went back to Heaven. He had promised to call them once he received an answer.

Once both angels were back in Heaven, Castiel moved purposefully to their room. He wanted to relish the time they had spent together and going back to heavenly chores was not the best way to make that happen. When he opened the door, he couldn't help but smile joyfully surprised. Up until yesterday their room had been a very minimalistic concrete and burnished metal design that Castiel loved that opened up to a Japanese interior garden. Now, the door gave on to a bed of tropical foliage opening to a calm beach with soft pale white sand surrounded by hard rocks. Their bed falling close to the shore framed with a palm roof and light curtains flowing lightly with the wind. Castiel smiled widely.

“Tulum?”

“I know you liked it.” Whispered Gabriel fondly on his ear placing his hand over his waist and brushing a soft peck on his neck. “Go on, take off your shoes.”

Castiel didn’t need more prodding to comply, he kneeled to unlace his shoes while Gabriel did the same with his boots. Once shoe free, they took off all their layers until only a shirt and jeans were on. Gabriel was proud of the fact that he had managed to place Castiel into dark denim and sexy tight henleys after so many years, even the old beige overcoat had eventually been replaced by a soft and sexy leather jacket. The rest of their stuff was abandoned over a rock near the entrance. It wasn’t like there would be anyone near to steal them.

The sand was cold where shadows hit and really hot where sun landed but the way each grain of sand glided through the fingers of his feet was more than welcome after five months of constant work. 

“Tell you what, once Jack passes his exam we should take him out on a trip. Do you know of any place where he wants to go?”

“I haven’t asked him lately but I’ll do. I’d rather take him somewhere we both like though...”

They reached the tropical canopy bed and threw themselves over the plush pillows. Gabriel leaned close to Castiel to hug him while Castiel placed an arm behind his head and surrounded him with the other. Both angels sighed. They stayed caressing each other, each of them musing their own thoughts.

“You know Cas… Things have been going pretty smooth up here for a while.”

“That is because you are extremely good at managing Heaven despite complaining all the time and Jack’s aid in providing new angels has been invaluable.”

Gabriel huffed, Castiel knew he hated it when he was acknowledged as leader. Even after all these years some of the older angels still slipped off the “Yes, Sir!” his brother Michael forged in them for centuries when he was being particularly serious about something and it irked him a lot.

“Yeah whatever, that’s not the point.”

Castiel turned to look at him. Gabriel took in some air.

“The point is… Maybe we could let the rest of the guys deal with the daily ropes and just catch up if there was something really odd needing attention while we do our own stuff.”

“Meaning?”

“Well, you know… Get back downstairs, live a little… maybe put up a store of some sort.”

“A store?”

“I was thinking a bakery. Or probably a café. A café with freshly baked goods. Someplace where you could go at any hour and feel revived.”

“That would require the best coffee and the best pastries... maybe some pie.”

“Yes! The best pecan pie.”

Castiel held Gabriel closer while kissing his forehead.

“And where would we put that store?”

“Oh I dunno, somewhere crowded with lots of people.”

Castiel suddenly realized what Gabriel was truly trying to say.

“Crowded like a University?”

“Exactly! A University. With lots of students.”

“Someplace like Stanford.”

“Yeah, I mean we’d have to look around but Stanford could be good.”

Castiel smiled widely now while Gabriel shrugged like he had not been thinking about that for the longest time.

“I think I would like that.”

Gabriel turned to look at him beaming.

“What would we call the place?”

“Not something trite.”

“Oh… Guess I’ll have to cross ‘A Slice of Heaven’ out from the list.”

[redorblue]

On Beauty, by Zadie Smith

This was the second book by Zadie Smith that I read, and if it wasn't official that I love her already, it definitely is now. It takes me a while to get into her books because the pacing is very deliberate and in order to appreciate her genius, you first have to get to know the characters, but once it happens it doesn't really let me go again, even when I've made an effort to put it aside for a moment. The first one I read was Swing Time, and On Beauty is very different in terms of setting and topics, so it's hard to imagine that she'd have such a good eye, so much understanding for two (three) entirely different contexts, but she does.

The main topic in On Beauty is love/attraction, mainly of the romantic and/or sexual kind, but some of the POVs also talk about belonging and identity. The story is told mostly from the perspective of one family: Kiki, an African-American nurse; Howard, her white British husband who works as an art history professor at a New England college; their elder son Jerome, who shocks his family in the beginning of the novel by becoming religious; his sister Zora, a college sophomore and workaholic; and Levi, the youngest in the family and very much at odds with his family's suburbanness. There are some other characters who get a chapter every once in a while, but it's clear that these five and their relationships and struggles with each other are the main focus of the book.

I didn't like all the characters, and especially with Howard I grew ever more disgusted the further the plot progressed, but what I appreciated a lot about this book was that I understood each character’s motivations, even though I didn't like them sometimes. In my opinion that’s a sign of a really good writer: if they're able to make sense of their characters' actions, despicable as they may be, without trying to guilt-trip you into feeling sorry for them. Explaining, but not justifying. Like in this case: before the book even starts, Howard has cheated on Kiki with one of their friends (who, incidentally, is the exact opposite of Kiki physically), and during the course of the novel, he does it again repeatedly, this time with a beautiful young student of his who is not only the daughter of his archenemy, but also obviously disturbed after the sudden death of her mother. Granted, it happens on her initiative, but he's fantasized about her before, and how hard is it to just keep it in your pants really. I personally think that Howard is a terrible human being, and I'm pretty sure that the author, personally, thinks that too, but it's still made clear why he does it because „he's a terrible human being" doesn't really cut it when you write literature.

Essentially, Howard cheats because he's unhappy with his bourgeois, stable, normal life. He's from a working class British family, a fact that he's never really made his peace with, so everything he does is, at least subconsciously, partly due to his rejection of his origins and the expectations with regard to lifestyle, profession and romantic interests that come with it. His choosing art history as his field (but then engaging with art in a very pragmatic and, one might say, unintellectual way), his moving to the US, his marrying a black non-academic woman… I'm not saying that he doesn't love his wife or his job, just that the pattern goes back a very long time. In that vein, it makes sense that he has an affair with his colleague and, even worse, with his student once he gets too comfortable in his academic bubble, once he feels trapped by what other people expect his life to be like, once it gets normal and boring. Basically he has a classic midlife crisis, and he compensates for it by having sex with the two women that remind him the least of his wife and their family. And as morally questionable as that may be, it makes sense.

But enough about Howard - I've talked so much about him and I don't even like him. I like Kiki, and I have to say that I found it very satisfying when she moved out of the house and let him deal the household and their kids for a change. In her case, too, that decision made sense for her character, but in contrast to Howard it was a point that she first had to reach. In general, Kiki is an independent-minded woman who has a very healthy sense of herself and her body (she's plus-sized) and enough self-confidence to make herself at home in circles where she's often the only black and non-academic person (and married to a white academic who's not exactly good at guessing what other people might feel like). That's why I was a bit confused that she was on her way to forgiving Howard when she first learned about his infidelity.But thinking about it, it does make sense.

First of all, she mentions several times that she basically gave up everything for this life with Howard, that her marriage and her family are her life. We don’t see her spend that much time with people outside her family circle, with the exception of Carlene, and there it’s made clear that building a friendship is an unusual experience for Kiki. So it would make sense for her to try and repair her marriage, simply because there’s not much else in her life (at least in the beginning of the book, in the epilogue things seem to have changed - yay Kiki). Secondly, and here’s where the guessing starts, I think her background has something to do with it. If I remember correctly, she never mentions her father, as opposed to her mother, so I suspect that her father wasn’t present for much of her childhood, as was probably the case for many of her childhood friends, since she’s not from a wealthy family and poverty and racism tend to screw families up. Kiki definitely turned out well, but she probably knows how hard it is to be a single mom, or a kid without a father, and she doesn’t want that for her family or for herself. So she tries to fix it, or rather just go with the flow - not pretending as if nothing ever happened, but trying to be okay with her new situation and the gap between her and her husband that his cheating has opened up. Until he cheats again (and picks the worst possible partner for it). In that instance, she doesn’t see much of a point in trying to make it okay again because in spite of her efforts, nothing has changed for the better in her marriage, and with this repeated betrayal she doesn’t think that it ever will. So she walks out - and no, I absolutely did not whoop even a little bit when I read that.

Besides the whole love/marriage/sex group of themes that Kiki’s story deals with, it also touches a bit on belonging and identity. This is also the main topic in her son Levi’s story. Levi is still in highschool and obviously confused about who he his and where he belongs. He lives in a very safe, wealthy, white suburb, but he’s also a mixed-race (read: black) young man, and especially in such an environment that is not the easiest thing to be. He has this romanticized vision of blackness - not that he thinks that being a poor young black man is awesome, but he likes the sense of belonging he gets when he hangs with some Caribbean street vendors, and he definitely romanticizes the bond between black people. He also thinks this way of life is more authentic for people like him than what his family does - being in academia, recruiting their social circle among their white neighbors and coworkers etc. He does his best to fit in with his chosen circle, but the tragedy of his story is that as much as he would like to pretend that they all basically share the same background, the same experiences, it’s just not true. He slips up in the little things - like when one of his friends tells him about some people who work in the college and Levi automatically asks which department they’re in, not thinking that they might not do academic jobs. He makes a very good ally - he’s a heartbreakingly compassionate person, to the point of naiveté (but he’s still young, so that’s okay) - but as much as he would like to pretend otherwise, he just didn’t grow up in a poor family who lives in a poor inner-city neighborhood. His desire to belong and to right some of the wrongs that his friends always tell him about even makes him commit a crime in the end - and the only thing that keeps him out of trouble is his wealthy academic family. He doesn’t get the (kind of) happy ending that Kiki gets, because Kiki’s problem has a hard, but feasible solution - walking out - while Levi’s does not, he’ll just have to learn to be okay with being neither white nor black (= what he thinks being black is about).

Generally, although the tone keeps being quite light and relaxed until the last page, On Beauty isn’t exactly an optimistic book. Some of the romantic problems are resolved, which is how Kiki, Jerome, and even Howard (maybe) get their more-or-less-happy endings. But those concerning class, race, and the intersections of the two, like Levi or Carl or also Zora, end on a much less positive note because in the end these things are out of your control as an individual person. Which is not to say that I didn’t like the ending, I do like it very much (and not just because I like sad endings). Especially Kiki’s ending as the pinnacle of her entire arc is beautiful and important because here is this fat, non-academic, black woman who is not a stereotype but instead portrayed as 1. a real person with feelings and thoughts and intelligence, and 2. beautiful and desirable. Off the top of my head I can name maybe one or two more example where something like that happens. But the ending is certainly bittersweet because it shows that while there are some things in your personal life that you can fix (or walk away from), there are also obstacles that you just can’t transcend - especially those that affect you on a societal level. And this may not be the moral that one wants to get out of a story, but it is - sadly - realistic.

[artsyeti]

Hi, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but I'm curious. I'm an australian studying a course on race and ethnicity for my assignment i was considering doing multiculturalism in aus. I feel that for most of my life people have DRILLED into me that Aus is a successful multicultural nation with everyone mingling together in harmony etc etc. However, some people i talk to including think this is not the case at all - that we're actually a little racist. Im really interested to know ur thoughts?

FUCK OKAY SORRY I TRIED SO HARD TO EDIT THIS LIKE 9 TIMES BUT IT’S JUST A BUNCH OF WORDY VOMIT SORRY !!

I don’t mind at all, I’m honored you’d even be bothered to hear my dumb opinions !

Personally I feel like Australia is FAR ahead of other countries when it comes to the legal aspects of racism within the country, and similarily progressive when it comes to educating primary and highschool students on other cultures. but socially we have a LITTLE bit more to go, and i think we’ll get there in about 20 years when the older generation…. dies off lol… If you take a little look into our laws, you’ll find a LOT of things to protect minority (and specifically Indigenous rights), one of the most controversial being section 18c of the Racial Discrimination Act which essentially condemns hate speech to a HELLA strong degree (like…. a little too strong if you ask me, like it literally says it’s illegal to say things that could ‘offend’ but moVING ON).We have a lot of publicised fear of ‘boat people’ but I genuinely do not believe that this countries fear of immigrants is intrinsically tied to a fear of POC like it *appears* to be in other countries. (Obviously, I am an Australian citizen and don’t know the inner-workings of anywhere but Australia - if that - those countries could be racism free.) A lot of the language politicians and news outlets use to describe immigrants are NOT race specific or racially coded, I’ve found. We have a bit of a fear of muslims, but I think this is more central to the religion (and ofc, brought on by a fear of terrorists) than is tied to the race, so I wouldn’t exactly put it as racist? more… prejudice? I’m arabic, not muslim, and people usually find out these facts together so aside from my friends purposefully racist jokes I don’t hear much about islam from people.(Also yeah, maybe thats worth mentioning, AUSSIES HAVE A REALLY DARK SENSE OF HUMOUR and if you’re a minority coming from other western countries, you might think the jokes are racist but they never intend to be. And when youre raised here, you don’t take it that way, you usually make the jokes more than your friends. One of my mates is just a whole mix of different darker skinned races??? literally i don’t even know what exactly, but every time he see’s a POC on tv he goes ‘thaTS ME’ for some fucking reason, its so dumb but it makes us laugh.)

I’m not sure about you, but I know in my childhood I was taught that the colonisation of Australia was a violent and kind of disgusting event in our history. To me, this seems like a given, but from what I’ve read not every country condemns colonisation like that, and I think and important part of ensuring children don’t develop racist tendencies from their parents is teaching them history from a critical standpoint (this way we don’t get any of that ‘Make Australia Great Again’ garbage). From a VERY young age I was well educated on the culture and history of Indigenous Australians (I can literally still quote to you the Mabo Case) and it was treated with the same amount of respect that, say, Catholic studies were. This might vary across state lines though. I spent my primary school years in FAR North Queensland (Townsville and above) where there is a much larger % of Indigenous students than say Ipswich. Something about focusing on ensuring there is no racial tension between white and indigenous students, kind of limited all kinds of racial tension. I’m half afro-arab, half white, and I never felt subjected to racism or bullying from the other kids at all. The most annoying thing I had to deal with is people fucking touching my hair and telling me to ‘brush it’… but that’s not really a racism thing because the filo kids did it just as much as everyone else ksjsks. When I got into highschool I moved to a rural school (it was like 85% white which was SOOOOO weird, and i think contributed to me experiencing the racism i did). Racism in students was rare, and the racists were bullied for their beliefs, ostrazised even. Instead of the other way around. The biggest issue in children, I think is when poorer kids see the sheer amount of benefits AUS provides to indigenous students. The biggest issues in adults is when they see Australia letting overseas chinese billionaires buying up land to rent out here. Either way, I think ‘racists’ blame the government, not the people more than anything.

Now, I’m in university (Studing law and psychology which btw both have EXTENSIVE units on race and racial discrimination, literally everything here does). I live in Brisbane, I walk past signs in chinese, arabic and korean every day. Some specific areas don’t even have english-speaking shop workers and no one bats an eye. The university lecturer’s read of a spiel about honoring the traditional owners of the land (they did that in my senior year of highschool too btw) BASICALLY, yeah in Brisbane it’s incredibly multi-cultural, and the government doesn’t really care if you like that or not. And i think that’s the best way to sum up australia’s multi-culturalism. It’s forced upon the older generation, but embraced by the younger. The most ‘racist’ of the new generation see themselves as victims and are usually poor or homeschooled or something, but they’re honestly REALLY rare, in my experience. 

ALSO lol in this whole spiel I kept refering to australia’s history as ‘my history’ in my head. But lmao,,, i’m first generation Australian, the white half of me is Irish for gods sakes BUT I have never doubted my identity as an Australian first and foremost before anything else and neither has anyone else. A huge difference between AUS and like the US is that. American people tend to hyphenate, yknow? african-american. asian-american. that doesn’t happen in australia, were just AUSSIE, and to me that means we’re doing something right in terms of multi-culturalism.

WOW WOW THIS WAS SO LONG SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO WRITE THAT MUCH I’M SO PATRIOTIC SORRY

[conartisthaiji]

three dark crowns highschool au

because i have feelings about this but don’t actually want to write a fic. here we go 

so i guess everyone has been adopted

 Katharine by the wealthy Arron family

Arsinoe by the Milone family

Mirabella by...the Westbrooks? They’re her canonical guardian family but I feel like Luca is her mom...

Luca can be the lovely lady next door who adores Mira, THERE WE GO

Katharine Arron is one of those girls who should be popular but she’s shy and prefers books over people. 

everyone knows who she is, they just leave her alone. she’s like the most famous nerd

but not cuz she’s bullied. paradoxical. 

teachers love Kat. other than that...ehhh...she’s kinda lonely i think.

Arsinoe Milone is one of the troublemakers. 

again, everyone knows who she is, except this time it’s because of what she does. 

she, jules, and joseph are thick as thieves. teachers do not want all three of them in their class at the same time. huge no-no

lowkey a rebel but like...cares somewhat for school

Mirabella Westbrook...is a TRANSFER. (dun dun dun)

she and her adopted sister Bree join the school 

they befriend a girl named Elizabeth

Mirabella is beautiful, duh. she becomes popular. very popular. 

rest is under a cut. oh boy

so we have the queens...now what about everyone else??

Jules Milone is the second troublemaker

(starting with her cuz she’s really important, duh. also she’s cool)

is the Voice of ReasonTM

always being like “arsinoe no”

Arsinoe responds with “arsinoe YES” 

poor Jules...she just wants to not risk getting arrested

crushing hard on that one guy, joseph

ahhh yes, joseph. 

the third troublemaker 

how obvious is it that i lowkey hate him

ANYWAYS, back to the au and the thoughts

crushing hard on Jules, like really hard.

and then Mirabella transfers and he’s like ‘oh shit she’s HOT’

cue the heart eyes. 

*whispering* (he’s gonna be a bit trashier in this au i think)

Billy Chatsworth

okay so umm i want kat to have friends, and they got along pretty decently in Three Dark Crowns, so..

Kat has exactly one (1) friend, and it’s this guy

Billy has plenty more friends because he’s a Great GuyTM

*breaking the fourth wall again: how do you put tm high up and small*

so anyways...that’s Billy. he’s not popular, not hated. he’s taking higher level classes, so he’s pretty well-known among that crowd but otherwise he’s not too well-known

Pietyr Renard

...another transfer, i think

sees Kat and goes ‘she needs help’

he’s like instantly popular and when he sees Kat, he decides to show what a Nice GuyTM he is and help her get more popular

yes, it’s cliche, I KNOW, but like he literally canonically does that soooooo

talks to her and then realizes that she’s actually really cute?? if not socially awkward and kinda frail?? 

I'm sorry but kat and pietyr are really fucking cute and I'm still pissed he shoved her into the breccia domain because BOY YOU SHOULD’VE FUCKING USED YOUR GODDAMN HEAD WHY CAN’T YA’LL BE HAPPY GODDAMNIT

Elizabeth

Mira sits next to her on her first day and is all “hi” and Elizabeth is instantly kinda star-struck like wow this beautiful girl is talking to me

...i don’t think she’s very popular tbh

also Elizabeth is gay and you can pry that head canon from my cold dead hands thanks

she helps run the gay student alliance because she’s a fricken hero

so basically Mirabella and Bree instantly befriend her

wow besties!!!

but seriously they’re kind of inseparable 

just kind of

poly ship poly ship poly ship...????????

something to consider...

okay so now for like actual plot lmfao

so basically everyone ends up with one class together. 

the teacher is like ‘good lord i get arsinoe jules and joseph for an entire year! what is life!’

the teacher friends are like ‘oh darn’

who the fuck is the teacher, you ask? well...it’s Rho. 

shhhh shhh its an au also Rho as a teacher would be pretty awesome

so anyways, first day of school comes around

i feel like it’s their senior year

BTW BTW Arsinoe Jules and Joseph miss Luke, who was in the year above them. he graduated duh

Luke is amazing but i don’t think he’s gonna be a big part of this AU

sorry Luke :(

they’re all put in Rho’s class, which is history

(Kat is a little miffed because she should be in a higher level BUT she got deathly ill and didn’t get the grade required to make it)

look I feel like Kat would throw herself into her studies

anyways...so Pietyr sees Kat and is like ‘well she’s pretty’

and he sits next to her

she’s also sitting in the front of the room and he respects that

so yeah he plops down next to her

Kat ignores him 

kat i love you

Mirabella and Bree sit near the back of the class. the middle-back

Elizabeth prefers sitting in that area so she just awkwardly sits down next to them

Mira: ‘hi i’m Mira, this is Bree, we just transferred here, you’re really pretty, what’s your name?’

Elizabeth: ‘...Elizabeth...hi...’ 

Bree: ‘hi!!!’ 

Billy comes in and sits behind Kat. says hi to her, kat says hi back, they chat just a little

Jules Arsinoe and Joseph come in together, just as the bell rings, and sit in the last row

there’s other people in this class i’m sure

they aren’t important 

So anyways they end up with group projects

look i’m a fucking cliche all on my own

so the groups: Billy & Arsinoe & Elizabeth, Joseph & Mira & Jules, Kat & Bree & Pietyr

well Joseph and Mira get along really well

Arsinoe is like ‘hmm Jules how come I think I see sexual-’

Jules: ARSINOE please stop 

Arsinoe: right right sorry Jules

Bree is like ‘for one thing Pietyr and Kat are really hot and I’d totally date both of them except I’m like 90% sure they’re already dating 

Kat denies it 

Pietyr just shrugs 

Bree just wants to not be a third wheel

Meanwhile, Elizabeth, Billy, and Arsinoe get along really well.

like, really well

Elizabeth says ‘yeah i kinda feel like a third wheel but they both make a conscious effort to include me you know’

ANYWHO they’re all getting along pretty well

so like homecoming is coming up!! 

because I'm american and i don't know what else goes on in foreign countries 

and i could research but homecoming is. kinda fun

fun fact: i HATE dances

stop breaking the fourth wall!!!!

so Elizabeth and Bree are like “ooh Mira do you wanna go with Joseph?” *insert lenny face here*

Mira is like “guys. stop i don’t want to go with Joseph stOP MAKING THAT FACE-” 

Elizabeth: oh look it’s Joseph! 

Mira: *whips head around* WHAT-very funny Elizabeth

Meanwhile, Arsinoe is subtly trying to drop hints to Joseph that Jules wants to go with him

she’s TERRIBLE at being subtle

Joseph is a dense fuck, so he still can’t pick up on the hints

Jules finally breaks and is like “Joseph go to homecoming with me” 

Joseph is like “sure” 

BUT then Mira is like “man i wish i had a date for homecoming” 

Joseph: well i was going with Jules, but maybe i can save a dance for you

*scrunches up face* mmmmm joseph no

Mira is disappointed but like. says sure, tells Joseph that he shouldn’t abandon Jules tho

LOOK mira just wants to be loved, she’s not a bad guy

anyways. so Kat is having a crisis because she really wants to go with Pietyr

But Pietyr’s...enemy Nicholas beats Pietyr to asking Kat 

and Kat is like oh dear someone is asking ME to homecoming 

read: she panics

and agrees

so then she mentions it to Pietyr

OH NO PIETYR IS LIKE, PISSED. 

he’s like ummm okay kat do whatever you want 

read: he’s upset 

boys are dumb

look Pietyr shoved her into the Breccia Domain there’s no way he’s, well. rational when he’s worked up. or rational when dealing with Kat. 

Kat is disappointed and thinks Pietyr doesn’t like her anymore 

so she chats with Billy about it 

Billy is like ummm I'm not really sure tbh

then Kat’s like, oh well, do you wanna go with anyone? 

Billy is like “...Arsinoe” 

Kat helps him ask

oh no but Arsinoe is a strong fierce independent woman she needs no man

THAT WAS NOT SARCASM BTW I SWEAR 

she says no 

Arsinoe bows for no one

rip billy

Billy’s like oh okay. i meant as friends but it’s chill

he’s sad 

very sad aww poor billy 

Arsinoe doesn’t regret anything though. of course not. 

soon HC rolls around 

Bree is like “Elizabeth are you going with anyone?” 

Elizabeth: nope i’m gay 

Bree: oh...uhh...okay...

Mira: cool cool thanks for trusting us, so wanna get ready together?

they’re great at getting ready together. they laugh and have fun and just. all in all a great time. 

Arsinoe tries to do Jules’ makeup.

emphasis on tries 

no seriously major RIP to Jules’ face. Jules ends up doing her own make up. her blush has been ruined. one of her eyeshadows is cracked. Jules is impressed with Arsinoe’s inability to do makeup. she ends up doing Arsinoe’s as well. 

Arsinoe put up with it. it made Jules happy. 

Kat gets Natalia to do her makeup. and her hair. Natalia secretly enjoys every minute of it. 

the boys also get ready. but separately. so yeah...

Nicholas picks Kat up like the gentleman he is 

Billy goes alone, aww poor baby

Joseph ends up taking both Jules and Arsinoe 

Pietyr almost doesn’t go but Kat asks if she’ll see him there, so. boy fucking launches himself to the bathroom to get changed and shit. he speeds to the school 

he’s got it bad 

Arsinoe and Billy end up ditching the dance. they leave like 30 minutes in and go to some dinky little diner together. 

basically they just laugh and ride around town until like 1:30 am and they realize that it’s late 

Nicholas monopolizes the fuck out of Kat.

Kat doesn’t realize it. 

She has a lot of fun 

Pietyr goes home pissed 

Kat doesn’t really think about him

if Billy had seen he would’ve been like “Kat Nicholas was like...glaring daggers at anyone who came close to you”

Joseph is cornered by Mira when Jules is in the bathroom. 

they dance 

and then dance again 

Jules ends up coming back and smiling at Mira tightly and being like “hey can I dance with Joseph now” 

Bree and Elizabeth just enjoy themselves

the night ends. 

Arsinoe and Billy are riding around on Arsinoe’s motorcycle. they’re going to a park

Kat and Nicholas seem to be okay...

Pietyr is pissed to hell and back

Bree and Elizabeth are happy 

Mira wishes she could’ve danced with Joseph more

Jules is kinda salty about Joseph

Joseph doesn’t know what to think

AND THIS HAS GOTTEN TOO LONG, I’M NOT MAKING ANYMORE...on this post. there might be more later. (there will definitely be more, i have some fic ideas now and more plans to run through). HAPPY THREE DARK CROWNS DAY EVERYONE. 

[stormyth-art]

tagged back by @suitcasesoffeathers​!!! (I’m also gonna answer my own questions in this post for @pilotpig​, thank you for being curious!! Haha

Also, sorry for all the long posts lately!!! (I just found out about the keep reading button so I’ll use that from now on!!!

1. If you could meet any fictional character in real life, who would it be and why? 

hmmm, maybe Hermione Granger? Since she could teach me all sorts of stuff about magic and tell me things that happened during the books that Harry was too oblivious of to notice. XD Hermione seems like she’d be more perceptive than him. 

2. If you could magically teleport anywhere (to a real location or fictional location), where would that be and why?

oooh, that’s fun, I’d go to Hogwarts for sure!! That would be so fun!!!

3. If you were in control of the world for a day, what would you do?

maybe just fire Trump and what’s his face vice president guy. lol, I think that’s the only thing I could do and not be scared of the repercussions. 

4. What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

I’ve had so many weird dreams lol. There is one in particular that was this whole story thing going on, but it would take too long to write the whole thing, so I’ll tell you my favourite part. So, there was this servant boy and he and the princess fell in love and blah blah blah, but eventually he took her to visit his parents in his village. He lived in this rock thing and inside everything was saran wrapped. Th counters, the couches, everything (apparently this was for easy cleanup). So eventually this bell sounded (like a warning bell in medieval times) and that meant everyone had to go and steal food from each other and it was only legal between the first and second bell. The servant guy went off to steal food and everyone was beating each other up and it was terrible and then suddenly servant dude comes rolling down this hill (the village was on a slope) on top of a giant armadillo. He just rolled the armadillo into a convenient sized hole next to his house and claimed the armadillo as his own. (I found it funny when I think about it, but typing it up sounds weird....but I guess that’s the point lol)

5. What do you do when you’re bored?

I usually just complain that I’m bored then rewatch videos I’ve already seen or watch old shows I used to like, or I’ll draw.But lately I’ve been sucked into those top 10 scary videos lol.

6. What’s the dumbest injury you’ve ever gotten? (could be from cuts/scrapes to broken limbs, etc.)

When I was maybe 7 or 8 I was playing a video game with my siblings. It was this super weird racing game on the N64 and I was really into it for some reason, and every time I made a turn I would lean my body in that direction. I was sitting on a wooden stool while playing so the stool would lean too and eventually it just toppled to one side and my head landed right into a stone fire place. It was not fun lol, I still have a scar right next to my temple.

7. Do you have anyone that you really admire/aspire to be like one day? If so, who?

hmmm, I think my parents. A combination of the two. lol, that’s kind of a boring answer but it’s true.

8. Is something that you really treasure that other people may think is dumb?

ohh, there’s this stick I have. lol, I found a stick in the woods when I was 8 and it was the perfect walking stick with a thumb hold and everything. I loved that stick and brought it with me to school sometimes. And when we moved houses I brought it with and I still have that stick in my room and I’ll probably never throw it away at this point. I don’t know why I like it so much. XD

9. What are some positive personality traits that you believe/other people say you have? (no need to be modest ;))

lol, mmm, my parents say I’m creative. My dad says I’m really, thoughtful and have interesting insight about different topics (which I disagree with lol). I’ve been told I’m empathetic and kind and all those things too haha.And every once in awhile I get that I’m funny. (which is cool since I’ve always loved making people laugh and making others happy is what I always strive to do)

10. What style do you usually sport clothes-wise?

mmm, that depends. I love dresses and skirts and girly clothes, but I also love the simple jeans and graphic t-shirt. and then there are days wear I just want to look all boyish and wear baggy pants and oversize shirts. My style is pretty non-existent haha.

11. If you could have a mountain of any food right now, what would it be?

lol! uhh chocolate probably, haha I’m always craving chocolate. I wouldn’t eat an entire mountain of it in one sitting of course though, but it would be nice to have a stash whenever I want some! XD

my own questions:

1. Are there any new hobbies or new skills you want to try/learn?

I’d like to learn violin again as well as get back into photography!

2. Do you believe in anything supernatural? (if you have stories please share, I find them fun to read)

I do lol, it seems no one I tagged does though, which is understandable. I believe in ghosts and aliens (though there is no doubt in my mind aliens exist, I don’t believe any have come to earth. The universe is just so huge there has to be another planet with life on it) I sadly don’t have any stories though.

3. What’s your favourite historical era and why?

I LOVE medieval times. The atmosphere is super cool and it was always my favourite unit in history class in grade school (in highschool when I took an ancient history course we didn’t have time for that unit and it made me mad lol) But I just love history in general so much! It’s so cool to learn about and talk about!! (This is why I’m going to write a time traveling story, since I get to do research about different era’s for it!)

4. What is one of the strangest conversations you’ve ever had?

hmm, this was like, weird for a couple reasons. This was waay back when I was in 9th grade and my friend was in 8th, so I’d go to her school after my school was done and wait for her sometimes. So at one point I was waiting in front of her class and this boy (who I’ve spoken to many times before and he was always fine then) Started asking me “do you like fairy of tails?” over and over and I was so confused what he meant so I asked him “sorry, fairy, of tails????” and he just....rolled away lol. The entire conversations he was rolling around on the walls, flip flopping from one to the other in the hall and then just rolled into his class room.

I later realized he meant the anime fairy tail, which he already knew I liked and cosplayed from so....idk what was going on with him that day. XD

5. Any inside jokes (not with me, just in general)?

‘Imagine this!’ *pretends to open cupboard*  (this one is with rieko lol, it would make no sense to anyone but us) 

6. What quote do you say the most?

the wombo quote from spongebob as well as various other spongebob quotes.

 ‘HE WAS THEIR FRIEND! AND HE BETRAYED THEM!...HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!!!’ from harry potter, I say that all the time lol

7. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

teleportation since that would be so convenient and I could go all over the world for significantly cheaper.

8. Favourite British drama, Korean drama and/or American drama?

British drama: ‘Merlin’

Korean Drama: ‘Good Doctor’ or ‘Hello My Twenties’

American drama: if ‘Stranger Things’ counts then that, if not ‘Once Upon a Time’, the older seasons.

9. Have you ever been in a situation that felt like you were in a movie?

All the time lol. I feel really surreal a lot. There was one time where me and my friend were walking at this park that had a farm on one side and forest with swings and slides and all that on the other (it wasn’t a super dense forest or anything, it was pretty open). We were walking at night and as the forest area came in view we saw a ton of lanterns lighting it up, some were on the ground and some were in the trees. It was weird because the day before there was nothing there. I promptly decided to do what anyone would do and force my friend to go into the forest of lanterns with me. My memories are all mixed up because for some reason I remember it being pitch black in the forest even though there were lanterns.....but anyways, eventually I saw a flashlight, I couldn’t see who was holding it but I could tell someone was coming towards us. I looked at my friend who desperately wanted to leave and I for some reason was feeling brave and wanted to talk to the person (I have no idea what compelled me to, I normally am not like that) When I turned back there was a second flashlight and then my bravery just drained and me and my friend just ran out of there. Next to the forest on the exit we took was a school so we stood in front of the school and then we heard a little girls voice say ‘what are you doing?’ and my friend screamed at the top of her lungs and scared the poor kid who went back inside the school and I laughed so hard and then we went home. lol, it felt like a horror movie but at the same time it was so fun! oh, and then the next day we went back and almost all the lanterns were gone.

10. Any funny things you did as a kid?

I also had elaborate plots for my toys. And I thought grilled cheese was girl cheese and only girls could eat it. I also truly believes ‘stupid’ was the s word. lol. Oh, and I had an obsession with toads when I was little and there were a ton in my neighborhood at the time so I would catch toads a lot.

11. Something you’re looking forward to?

when rieko is less busy and we can hang out and film and all that again lol. (even though was just went skating last week XD)  Also, I’m looking forward to the distant future when I have money and can pay to go to upcoming cons!!