#like that account i think is a big part of the negativity surrounding dead boy detectives’ renewal chances on twitter

[dragonsareawesome123]

So does the What’s on Netflix twitter account hate Dead Boy Detectives or something?

[freddiekluger]

Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation 

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit. 

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad? 

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on). 

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans. 

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious. 

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive. 

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman. 

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend???? 

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t. 

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out 

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

[breadcaaat]

part five

part five

Jeongguk x hybrid!reader

| part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six

Words: 5.4k

Genre: action, fluff, angst, violence... eventual smut

Warnings: buckets o’ blood, more nudity, foul language, discussion of human trafficking 

Jeongguk was on his knees, face mask and headband on, fat yellow sponge in hand, surrounded by rosy suds. He already knew he’d be throwing these clothes out at the end of the day. That was fine. He could buy new ones, especially now that he was financially set for the next few years.

Yes. You read that right.

On Y/N’s flight from the auction center, she’d crawled out a vent she had hid in to escape the guarddogs and dropped into an office, where a woman had been running cash through a money counter. One choke to unconsciousness later, and she’d packed away a full cargo of pure, fat, dirty cash from the sales that night into the backpack Jeongguk had spotted on the floor earlier.

“We can’t use this,” he’d said.

“Why not?”

“Because people were sold to make this money.”

“Not people; person, singular. About one moderately-priced hybrid.” 

Jeongguk looked at her uneasily. 

“Aish,” she muttered, “ - doesn’t matter. Think of it this way: we’re keeping their sellers from making profit and supporting one - ” she’d pointed at herself “ - of their products. Consider it ironic. And you can finally quit that job at the moving company.”

He still wasn’t sure where he stood on that topic, but for now his focus was simple. Leave no trace. 

There was blood on the tile (thankfully no more than a few spots on the carpet) but it hadn't dried yet and so was relatively easy to mop up. His biggest concern wasn’t the staining, though. Y/N had told him that most all these hybrid crime centers had guarddogs: dog hybrids with sharp noses that made sure nothing unauthorized left any of the sites alive. His tiger girl had left a big, fat, smelly trail leading down the streets, up the walls of his building, and straight into his apartment through the balcony, so if they had any chance of remaining undiscovered they needed to blast any and all traces of smelliness to the fucking exosphere.

So, while he scrubbed away, she ran to a convenience store (clean, not covered in blood anymore, with her hood up and some sunglasses on) with a fresh wad of cash to buy four big jugs of bleach.

By the time she returned, he was already packing away all the towels and the sponge he’d used to mop everything up into a trash bag. They worked quietly, efficiently. Next, the bleach.

His most immediate concern was the apartment and any smelliness that lingered about it, so he as he bleached down their living space, she climbed down the piping she’d clambered up in the first place and bleached away all traces of blood and any previous scent-markings. (She’d pouted a little at this, knowing it was necessary but mourning the loss.) They decided to work on the alley together.

It was about five o’clock - an hour and a half later - when she deemed the apartment sufficiently un-smelly, so Jeongguk packed up the trash bag with all the unsalvageable, bloody materials and packed it down to the alley.

Halfway down the first flight of stairs, he sighed and noticed something not totally interesting, but notable. It was fucking late. He’d been up late before, of course, with long work hours and everything, but never this late. Walking down the echoey, concrete stairwell made him feel like the only man on earth and it wasn’t… a bad feeling. He was starting to understand the appeal of late night walks. Maybe he should join her on her next one.

When he got down there, he could already smell the bleach. She’d uncapped a jug and was currently splashing it along the apartment-side wall, getting rid of any blood-smells or previous scent marks. He caught her attention by setting the bag near the dumpster and scooping up a jug for himself.

“We’ll have to burn that. I can smell us both on it. Ever lit a trash-fire?” she asked, and he found himself chuckling despite everything.

“Sure, I’ve lit things on fire. Most boys do.”

“Good. Dump it on top of that drain instead.”

He did, and it landed with a thump and a squish, which made his stomach twist a little. “Ew,” he muttered. Y/N handed him a matchbook and pulled out a tube of firestarter.

“It’s going to rain in the morning.” She uncapped the tube and doused the garbage bag.

“When?

“I’d say in the next hour or so.”

He nodded. That saved them from hosing away the bleach. It’d also - presumably - wash away any obvious bleachy or burnt scents left behind by their cleaning.

Finished with the tube, she tossed it on the pile. “Before we light this, I’m gonna clean up my trail back a couple blocks. We still have two and a half jugs and that should be enough.”

“It’d be good to burn the jugs too, is what you’re saying?”

“Exactly. Be right back. Check for any details we missed. The bleach is stinging my nose and I can’t smell anything.”

He nodded, and she lugged off the remaining jugs of bleach to clean the rest of her mess.

🐯

Jeongguk got the honor of flicking the match onto their little trash fire, and it took quickly. Unbidden, a sense of relief flooded him. This should be the last of it. All we do now is wait for the rain.

Y/N sat next to him, stripped down to her skivvies once again. Her clothes were in the pile right now. “They smell like I just cleaned up a crime scene,” she’d told him when he’d asked why she was stripping again. He’d decided to just shrug it away this time. It was alarming how quickly he was becoming desensitized to nudity and blood.

“Have you ever done this before?” he asked. The sounds around them were almost ambient; like a campfire near a road. Except this was an alleyway and the trash fire was lit to destroy evidence. Potato, tomato.

“No. Why?”

“You’re good at it.”

She scoffed incredulously. “I just crawled into your apartment early in the morning covered in blood - which I know makes you nauseous - after having committed three gruesome murders in which I tore two victims open by the rib cage and used their entrails to kill the last one, then also a major robbery of an organized crime syndicate and - ” she tipped her head to look at him, eyes gleaming with the peacock sheen of her cat’s-eye night vision “ - you commend me on how good I am at concealing the evidence?”

He scratched his nose. It did sound a little ridiculous. I’m probably in shock, so. “... Just thought it was clever how you burnt it over the grate so it doesn’t leave any ashes. I wouldn’t have thought to do that.”

She giggled. “You’re the ride or die type, huh?” There was a shuffle as she shifted to lean on him, tucking her head between his shoulder and neck. “I know I’ve put you through a lot of shit - and I’m sorry - but I’m glad it was you in the restaurant, and I’m glad you fell in the river.” She nipped at the column of his neck and he had to remind himself that It’s platonic, she’s part animal, animals nip at each other platonically. “I’d probably be dead of fever in an alleyway had you not taken me in.”

She wrapped her arm around his, and they stared down at the trash fire as it died away, burning away quickly.

“Thank you,” she finished with a murmur.

He didn’t answer, but set his head on top of hers. She chuffed, and a little purr rumbled up through her chest.

🐯

“I’m sorry Mrs. Gim,” Jeongguk rasped “ - but I can’t come in today.” His voice sounded downright pitiful. It might’ve been the fake coughing or the toilet paper stuffed up his nose that had her convinced and already fussing, but that’s not important. Was he actually sick? Absolutely not. Tired? Absolutely.

In order to wake up early enough to make this call and skip on his morning shift he’d had to set NO MORE than eight alarms, each two minutes apart, and really they hadn’t been what’d woken him up; Y/N had by biting his ear with a growl that’d rumbled through his skull, just hard enough to make him yelp.

“ - Should I bring you some soup? You weren’t out in the rain last night, were you? Tell me you didn’t go outside with an umbrella or so help me - ”

Jeongguk latched onto that last bit and faked a nervous laugh.

“Jeongguk,” the woman hissed, and he almost felt sorry for himself.

“I can call in Jaesoo to cover?” he whimpered, and Sunghyun hissed again (Aish! Sure. Stay in bed and don’t leave it.)

A few goodbyes and reassurances to take care of himself later, Jeongguk hung up the phone call, picked out the toilet paper, and flopped back into bed.

“Is Gim’s your only shift today?” Y/N asked.

He grunted a negative, voice rough in the morning-time.

“What else then?”

“Night shift at Gloss. Then I gotta go deposit the money so it can rack up interest, pay off our rent - and that’ll take a couple different accounts, maybe banks.”

“Why not just one?”

“That much cash is suspicious.” He giggled then. “It’ll look like I robbed an organized crime syndicate or something.” She growled and jabbed at his ribs, and he giggled a bit more before quieting down again.

More than anything, he wanted to go back to sleep. The past few weeks compounded upon last night had exhaustion dripping off his every bone and pore, but realistically he knew there were errands he had to run today. Last night’s trash fire wasn’t the end of their clean-up, though it’d felt like it. His sense of caution still flared. There were loose ends that needed clipping.

The money was probably the biggest. With his situation, there was no way he could’ve acquired it in the eyes of the bank without having robbed a place, and revealing Y/N’s existence was out of the question completely. He needed a good excuse. And better clothes.

An idea flickered to life, but he rushed to tamper that flame before he did something impulsive.

It was no secret that Yoongi - his boss and friend - had connections underground. Though Jeongguk hadn’t seen it with his own eyes he knew his hyung had done plenty of gang tattoos, and he was many a kingpin’s go-to. Gloss was not only neutral ground in all the territory-mongering that went on, but also Yoongi’s pseudonym. None of his clients knew his real name and that was for safety. That was the type of crowd he’d been surrounded by since fourteen, when he’d done that first tattoo.

He must’ve learned something through by osmosis through all those - what - eleven years? If Jeongguk confided in him, he could learn how to go about this clean-up neatly.

On the flip-side, Yoongi might also fire him and cut ties. Another safety precaution. He wouldn’t - couldn’t - blame him for it. That was Gloss’s tried and true method for making sure his shop stayed neutral through all the crime and conflict of Seoul’s underground, and he’d kept it up for his whole career.

There was a shuffle in the sheets beside him as Y/N shifted to look at him. She was laying on top of the covers - too hot - and he’d zoned out on her tail as it had curled up and thumped idly on the duvet in a steady rhythm.

“You’re juggling something.” It was an observation, not a question.

“Yeah,” he murmured.

“Penny for your thoughts then?”

“I was just thinking about all I have to do today.” He stared up at the ceiling, hand on his chest and index finger tapping a quiet beat.

“We,” she murmured quietly, and he smiled.

“I don’t know if you can help me in what I have to do. It’s all legal and money stuff. I’m just trying to figure out where to start, I guess.” They were silent for a moment as he debated telling her about Yoongi.

Well, what’s the harm, huh? “I know someone that might be able to help us. Just, advice-wise.”

She hummed and fluffed her pillow. “Tell me about him then.”

“His name’s Yoongi, but at the shop he’s called Gloss.”

“You work there, right?”

“Yeah. He’s pretty much run the place since he was a kid. Dropped out of high school to do it. Since he wasn’t trained professionally his tattoo operation is underground and I mean, the guy’s been tattooing gangsters since forever. He must know something, you know?”

She nodded thoughtfully, and her eyes drifted shut after a moment. “I bet you he’ll still know something in a couple hours so… it won’t hurt if we sleep a bit more.”

“Yeah, good idea.” He yawned. “I’m exhausted. Gotta call Jaesoo first…”

🐯

It was about ten now. An hour ago, he’d written up a resignation letter and had just delivered it to the moving company, now meandering his way over to Yoongi’s shop to start up what would probably be a fucking monumental disaster. He was having Y/N meet him in the alley near there, both having decided their story would probably be more believable with her presence. He just hoped things would go well. Jeongguk knew he was putting a lot of trust in Yoongi telling him all this - he’d have to rely on Gloss’s neutral nature to not let on about him to anyone who came asking, which was a risk.

“There it is,” he murmured to himself as he spotted the storefront, and drew in a deep breath, adjusting the strap of the back pack on his shoulder. Shit, this is making me nervous. He let the breath out as a loud sigh, not too unlike a war cry. Let’s go. We got this! Yoongi’s my friend and he’ll handle it somehow. We’ll be fine.

The bell jingled as he marched in.

Yoongi was currently at one of the stations giving a client a trim, and he looked up at the kid with the usual greeting for customers on his lips, fading off the moment he saw his face. Curiosity replaced it.

“Jeongguk?”

“Can we talk?” His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked like he was hyperfocusing on something.

Didn’t even say hi. “Mm. Sure. Meet me in the back, I gotta finish up here first.” This’ll be interesting. He turned back to the client.

Jeongguk nodded, and briskly strode into the hall at the back of the shop, eyebrows furrowed cutely. Yoongi idly counted his footsteps, only to hear a little screech of rubber on tile as Jeongguk stopped and skidded back into the main area. “Hi hyung!” A little wave, and he disappeared again. Yoongi smiled faintly and shook his head.

Down the hallway, Jeongguk bypassed Yoongi’s office and scooted further down the hallway to an iron door. It provided access into the alley out back and could only be opened from the inside. He pushed it open and ducked his head out.

Y/N was nowhere to be seen. Good. She’s stayed hidden.

Jeongguk whistled a small tune.

A shadow dropped down from the fire escape, near-silent, and slid past him into the building. “Good to see you. On the left,” he murmured, and she disappeared into Yoongi’s office right as the man turned the corner, wiping his hands after a quick wash.

Seeing Jeongguk, he asked, “Why are you here so early?”

“I had something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh? Are you quitting?”

“What? No.” He shook his head, opening the door for Yoongi who moved past him to his liquor cabinet, not noticing the figure lounging on his couch. “You might understand better why it is I took on a fourth part-time, though.”

“Oh yeah? Shoot.” He pulled out a crystal decanter of bourbon and poured them both a glass. “Two pinkies or three?” He didn’t notice how tense it was Jeongguk got then, or if he did, decided not to comment.

Jeongguk’s hand tightened around the strap of his pack. This is it. Tell him everything. He decided to just act first before he chickened out.

He unzipped it and upended the contents on Yoongi’s desk. Actions do speak louder than words, right?

Yoongi paused his pour.

He may have had his back turned, but the sound of tumbling money is something he’s familiar with. He decided to knock back the glass before pouring another refill. “That better not be what I think it is Jeongguk. That better be you spilling a stack of flyers for a poetry slam or some shit.” He knocked back the second glass and poured another. “Two or three pinkies, you goddamned punk?”

“Two please.”Jeongguk murmured.

Yoongi kneels and pulls out a second glass from the liquor cabinet. Y/N chooses then to speak up.

“I’ll take two also.”

There’s a clatter as he bangs his head on the cabinet, spinning around with the widest eyes Jeongguk’s ever seen on him. “Who the hell - ?”

“I let her in,” Jeongguk murmured, shifting to stand in front of the door to block Yoongi from making a run for it. “She’s a friend of mine. Yoongi, meet Y/N.”

There’s silence for a moment. The tiger girl sits soundlessly on the couch, completely covered from head to toe in clothing - her face is even concealed by a dark pair of shades and a face mask. Besides her name and voice, there’s little to differentiate whether she’s a boy or girl. Yoongi recovers his composure quickly, standing up from the ground and picking up two cups as he does.

“Alright, two pinkies each and four for me. Why’s she here Jeongguk, and who is she?”

“Well, uh, her name’s Y/N - ”

“We covered that already. Who is she, Jeongguk?” Finished with his pours, he handed him their drinks and took his own, sitting down at his desk. Jeongguk sank into the cushions next to Y/N and handed her her drink. Surprisingly, she decided to take charge of the conversation.

“Do you know what hybrids are, Mr. Yoongi?” Idly, she took a sip of the alcohol and grimaced, thinking better of it and handing to Jeongguk.

Yoongi leaned back in his chair, crossing his ankle over one of his knees. He sipped at his drink. A tense moment passed.

“Sure. I heard of ‘em.”

Jeongguk blinked. “You have, hyung?”

“Yeah, people talk. I keep my nose out of it though, and that’s for safety.” He sipped at his drink again, then narrowed his eyes a bit. “Why are you asking?”

“Well - ” she started, taking off her shades, face mask, and hood. “I am one.”

Yoongi’s face remained impassive, masked, calculated. It was his business face, the one he used with customers. Neither removed or engaged. He nodded, but made no effort to continue the conversation.

Y/N took the lead.

“I’ve been… this, for about four years now. Started out as a pet whore then demoted to a cagedog. You know what cagedoggers are?”

Yoongi nodded again, and Jeongguk felt the hair at the back of his neck prickle.

“So, I did that for three years. In the last four months before I got out of it - the cagedogging, I mean - I purposely lost fights so I’d get resold and resold to the cheapest cagedoggers. The last deal took place at night in a restaurant Jeongguk was eating at, and he helped me escape.”

“That was the day I broke up with Bora,” Jeongguk interjected, and Yoongi nodded thoughtfully. He didn’t really know exactly when that was since his presence in the kid’s life was minimal outside of Gloss - but it gave him a rough timeline. A little less than six weeks ago.

“ - Right,” she continued. “So, after that night I didn’t really have anywhere to go, so I just kinda…” a little blush, and her ears fluttered back, “... followed him around for a day. Figured I’d return the favor somehow, and I wanted to thank him but he’s so goddamn busy all the time it’s hard to get a word in.”

Yoongi chuckled a little, tipping back the rest of his drink.

“So then he fell in a river, and - ”

Yoongi choked on his drink. “What did he do?”

Jeongguk grimaced, and picked at his bangs guiltily. “Uh.”

“When did it happen?”

“A day after I escaped.”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes at Jeongguk, who avoided making eye contact like the plague. Y/N rushed to move on with a heavy exhale before Yoongi started wasting time scolding him.

“Anyway,” she continued. “He fell in a river and I saved him. Brought him back to his apartment and ended up staying the night. We’ve been denning together since then.”

Jeongguk giggled a little. Denning. What a cute word choice.

“How’d you know where he lives again?” Yoongi asked, and Jeongguk perked up a little. He should’ve asked that question before and hadn’t, somehow. God, that’s such an important detail. I hope I haven’t skipped over anything else like that. He bit his lip in nervous thought, spaced out and distracted for a second.

“I’d been following him around, remember? The night at the restaurant, I circled back and made sure he got home safe. That’s how I learned where it was.”

Yoongi nodded a bit, satisfied.

“So,” he drawled, leaning forward to ruffle through the pile of cash on his desk. “Where the fuck did you get this?”

“I revisited an old auction site.”

“You’re talking abandoned storage auctions or slave auctions?”

“Slave auctions. Specifically hybrid.”

“Ah. Continue. Also, why?”

“I needed closure, I guess. It was the one place I solidly remember the location of.” She picked at the elastic strings on her facemask, uncomfortable showing any measure of vulnerability to someone not-Jeongguk. It’s okay, she assured herself despite wanting to swallow those words back up. He trusts him. I can trust him. Move on.

“So - ” she forced herself to look up, “ - there was a situation, and I hurt a few people and had to escape.”

“Y/N, you killed three people. They didn’t scrape their knees because you pushed them,” Jeongguk murmured, and Yoongi was surprised to hear the words come from his mouth more so than the fact Y/N had killed someone - he’d made a comment about murder so… casually.

“Right. Yeah. And, uh, on the way out I grabbed this. Now we’re here.”

There was silence for a moment as everyone digested the situation. Yoongi picked at the rubber band circling one of the cash bundles, evaluating the figures in front of him. Y/N sat still as a shadow, eyes on him. Jeongguk fidgeted with his bangs.

Yoongi took a deep breath.

“Why’d you come here?” he asked.

“... I’m in over my head, hyung.” Barely a whisper. Jeongguk wouldn’t meet his eyes, face flushed in shame. This isn’t going to work. I’m going to lose a friend today. “You’re the only person in Seoul I trust that can help us.”

Yoongi looked at him thoughtfully, poker face on in force. Jeongguk felt like he was being watched by a cat.

Finally, he let up with a sigh.

“Clean this up.”

Jeongguk’s heart sank.

Silently, and with a burning face, he scooped the cash back into the bag. Some of Yoongi’s sketches got pushed off with it and he scrambled to pick them up. “Ah - “ he put them back, disorganized, on the desk, “ - I, uh, sorry hyung. We’ll just… get going.” He zipped the last of it up.

“Alright,” Yoongi murmured. “Gimme that before you go.”

Unbidden, a small, suspicious growl crawled its way up from Y/N’s chest. Jeongguk, confused, asked, “Hyung?”

Yoongi sighed and took it from his hands, ignoring the snarl shot at him.

“I can tell you have no clue how to launder money, so I’m gonna do it for you. Can’t leave loose ends in business like this. Sloppiness’ll get you killed.”

She stopped snarling abruptly, and Jeongguk froze in surprise. “Hyung?”

Yoongi smirked, soft and a little bitter like he wanted to swat a younger sibling over the head for doing something troublesome. “I’m older than you, so it’s my job to take care of you. Pull some stupid shit like this again, though, and I’m tossing you in a closet or something.”

Wow. I honestly thought we were gonna get booted to the curb, Jeongguk thought. He was too speechless to say thank you, but Yoongi could see it in the way his eyes twinkled, watery at the edges.

Taking the bag, he made some space in his liquor cabinet and stashed it away. He’d deal with it after hours.

Still turned away, he said, “Go on, git. Don’t you have work, punk?”

“No. Off day.” Jeongguk paused, overcome with this immense sense of gratitude - he was so goddamn lucky to have the people in his life that he did. “Can… can I come in early?”

“Sure,” Yoongi grunted, with a soft smile. I hope this shit doesn’t get him killed. 

“Now git.”

They gitted.

🐯

The police station was having a quiet day, which was honestly the worst in Hoseok’s opinion. It made him jumpy and restless. He sat at his desk, tapping his pen across a notepad and bouncing his knee. And - with a glance at the clock - he realized it wasn’t even lunch time yet. He had a whole two hours until he could - what, eat more and get more energy? Run a lap around the station? Offer the chief a lap dance, just for the exercise?

Hoseok tossed the pen away, buried his head in his hands and moaned, blowing a long sherbert into his palms. The office remained not-busy - probably out of spite.

“You know, Jung - “ his partner commented idly from where he sat across from him, feet propped up on the desk with his nose buried in a racy hentai - some shameless tentacle number; “ - usually, it’s a good thing when we’re not busy.”

Hoseok moaned into his hands again.

Officer Ri Doyeon’s thin eyes flicked up at him over the rim of the book in his hands, and Hoseok started to make little tooting noises. A piece of Doyeon’s soul leaked out and slithered away when he recognized the tune as Darude’s “Sandstorm.”

“Dude,” he whispered in exasperation.

The tooting morphed into what sounded like “Fur Elise,” reaching a grand, existential crisis-inducing crescendo before fading off into one positively grand finale of a sherbert.

Doyeon was overcome by the impulse to choke out his partner with the tie around his neck. “Are you done?” he asked.

Hoseok didn’t answer, head still in his hands. Doyeon returned to his manga.

“Ri-sunbae?” Hoseok murmured after a moment. Doyeon hummed.

“Do you think kazoos like getting blown?”

“Out,” Doyeon hissed. The book in his hands clapped shut with the finality of a man driven to the edge of sanity. “Get - get out. Go take a smoke or a run or jack off in the bathrooms - whatever the fuck men in their twenties do - I don’t fucking care just burn some of this goddamn energy you fucking middle-schooler.”

“So that’s a no?”

Doyeon belted the book at poor, bored little Hoseok who broke the silence of the office with a yelp, scrabbling out of his chair. “A smoke, Hoseok!” Doyeon barked.

“Got it, got it,” he placated, retreating from the office. His grumpy partner huffed and circled the desk to snatch his manga back up from the floor, returning to his earlier position.

Hoseok wandered through the station, looking for something to do. Lately, this is all work had been for him. Boring. Unsatisfying. Unrushed.

The KNP's (Korean National Police’s) Sex Crimes Division was not a good place to work for someone like Hoseok because it was - due to multiple factors, none of them good - not very busy. The situation was not nearly as optimistic as Doyeon made it sound. There are still plenty of sex crimes in South Korea. So many it’s downright shameful. But this is a culture where we don’t talk about those things. No one reports anything, he thought sadly.

His mind wandered back to a case he’d been forced to drop last week. A woman, at a company dinner on her second day at a new job, had been lured away by a supervisor, raped, and then subjected to revenge lawsuits on the charges of defamation when she’d spoken up, yelled and worn into dropping all charges. Yesterday, he’d learned that she’d lost that job. Life ruined in a week. And he couldn’t help. I don’t blame them, I guess. The law doesn’t exactly do much to help. The thought was a bitter one.

His wandering lead him to the roof, and he stepped out with a sigh. I thought I’d be able to help more with this job.

I feel more useless than ever.

He gazed over the balcony, propping his elbows up on the railing. Maybe a bit lonely, too.

All his friends were busy and his family was based back in Gwangju, so he didn’t really get to socialize much anymore. Most of his time was spent with grumpy, middle-aged Doyeon, who was so inclined to social reclusion and coping with all of his failed marriages through nasty hentais that he wasn’t that fun to hang out with.

When was the last time Jeongguk and I hung out? As thoughts turned to his best friend from college, he flushed a little in guilt. Five weeks ago, Jeongguk had broken up with his girlfriend of a year and called him at midnight to cry and babble for a bit, only to hang up a few minutes later because he “... Gotta go, wan’ ramen…” (Sniff.) “Gunna get ramen… bye Hobi-hyung.” Those had been the last words he’d heard from him since - not counting the odd text here and there. I should be a better friend, sheesh.

“Let’s call him,” he murmured to himself, and pulled out his phone.

Jeongguk picked up after three rings. “Hyung?”

“Hey Ggukie!”

“Oh, hey! Haven’t heard from you in awhile.”

“Yeah, sorry for checking out as long as I did. Thought I’d check up on you.”

“Ah hyung, no worries. Seoul’s a busy place to live. Where are you?”

“The station, as usual. You?”

“The station.”

Hoseok perked up. “Wait - really?”

“Yeah, the train one.”

“Oh, you little pest. I got excited there for a second.”

“Aw,” Jeongguk bit out cheekily, and Hoseok could picture so clearly that competitive and endearing little smirk. “Has hyung missed Jeonggukie? Lil’ ol’ me, tiny little Ggukie? Bunny-boy Guk?”

“Oh shut it - I miss kicking your ass in Smash Bros, that’s all.”

“Aish! Shut up hyung - you literally only ever play as Waluigi or Kirby and I always win.”

“I love Waluigi and Kirby more than I love you.”

“Well then I’m a slut for Link. Glad everything’s in the open.” A giggle. “Love me a man in a tunic.”

Hoseok laughed, and they both relaxed into a comfortable pause - softly tuning into private thoughts and the sounds of each others’ environment.

“We should have a tournament again, me an’ you. Waluigi and Kirby vs. Link,” Hoseok joked. Opposite to what he expected, Jeongguk sighed in response. “Hey,” Hoseok murmured, brows knitting. “What’s up?”

“I had to pawn off my PlayStation last month for rent.”

There was a pause again, not as comfortable as the last. Hoseok frowned watched the street down below. He was realizing how far they’d grown apart in this last year, as he’d invested his time in becoming a policeman and Jeongguk had dropped out of college to escape the relentless, malicious rumors targeting him. Touchy subject, that last one.

The world is full of injustices.

By the day, Hoseok’s starting to feel more and more powerless to fix any of it.

“Hobi-hyung…” Jeongguk started, soft voice drawing them both out of their melancholy daze before they sank any further. “We can grab drinks later? If you like?”

He’s such a sweetheart, Hoseok thought.

“Sounds great, Guk,” he hummed. “Usual place?”

“Usual place.”

“When are you free?”

“Tomorrow night?”

“Works for me; text me when. I’ll see ya, Guk.”

“See ya then, hyung.”

They hung up, and Hoseok put his phone away to gaze at the skyline for awhile.

A/N: i have three-ish weeks until i disappear into the wilderness of alaska, so either i finish it in that time or organize an adminship with someone to post my updates. we’ll see

also, thanks for all the support!! yall’re lovely 💞

Taglist: @feed-my-geek-soul @starryannaaa @not-novoa @astronomyturtle @anoushe01 @seokchella @dinorahrodriguez @mischiefmakerliesmith5

Taglist Glitches: @infiresssnct 

[spideytorchbigbang]

SPIDEYTORCH BIG BANG 2018 MASTERPOST

Eight Arms to Hold You by  metaphoracle, art by rayandhisart and cocona21

When Spider-Man’s best friend Johnny Storm asks him for help in tactfully declining a marriage proposal from the King of Atlantis, Namor the Sub-Mariner, the only solution is for him to volunteer Daily Bugle photographer Peter Parker to pretend to be dating Johnny at the Engagement Banquet in Atlantis. Sure, it’s technically lying to his best friend about who Peter Parker is, but the important thing is that Johnny won’t have to marry Namor, and if Peter gets some photographs of Atlantis to sell, what’s the harm? Peter thought the most difficult thing about this scenario was going to be making sure Johnny didn’t figure out Peter is actually Spider-Man. Having to pretend he wasn’t actually falling in love with his best friend never crossed his mind.

Featuring fake relationships, forced (almost) marriages, identity porn, traditional Atlantean clothing, and amorous cephalopods.

A Melody That's Calling Your Name by gleesquid, art by johnny-storms-hair and artofmimi

When a boy gets trapped in the Baxter Building fire, Peter must make a quick choice: let the boy die terrified in the flames or gain his trust by showing him what's underneath his mask. In the end, it's no choice at all.

But when that same boy shows up on the first day of senior year, Peter finds himself caught in a spiraling lie. The next thing he knows, he's got a boyfriend, he's starring in a musical, he's going to rich kids' costume parties, and he's realizing that maybe there are worse things than having someone know your biggest secret.

You'd think high school couldn't get any weirder than a radioactive spider bite, but that's just the Parker Luck.

Til Planet-Rise by Euphorion, art by portwinestains and Scarabsi

“This is the part where it gets a little more complicated,” Fel'icia said, “so listen up.”

Peter blinked and looked back at the data pad.

“We’re not the only ones looking to get our hands on this weapon,” Fel'icia said. “There’s a terrorist group out of Denusia who got the jump on us and already contacted one of the scientists involved, a Dr. Reed Richards. Richards got cold feet about the whole ‘create a super weapon for a would-be tyrant’ thing, and he’s hatched a plot to steal the prototype when it’s unveiled at the gala. Richards will be attending with his partner and presumably co-conspirator, Senator Susan Storm of Alderaan. While at the Gala, Richards will hand off the prototype to the person attending the party with the Senator’s younger brother, Jonathan. The Denusian terrorists plan for that person to be one of their number, a smuggler named Robert Drake.”

Fel'icia arched an eyebrow. “We plan for that person to be you.”

Bring That Summer by pommenade, art by asandygraves

Juggling the duties of Spider-Man as well as his life as CEO of Parker Industries was easy. Peter Parker had years of practice. Add in a clandestine relationship with Johnny Storm and things got a bit more complicated. Add in Johnny's Instagram account, and suddenly Peter's life is impossible. 

Out of the Dead Lands by louluna, art by pariah-arts

Johnny and Peter live and die and live again in the Negative Zone.

sleeping with ghosts by grumpeaches, art by lavinlouis and wickedends

When Peter gets caught up in a big science project, Johnny sees his best friend less and less–– and then not at all. Johnny finds himself standing outside of Horizon Labs one night, with no idea how or why he ended up there. He doesn't think much of it at first, but things just keep getting weirder after that. He can't shake off the feeling that he's forgotten something important, but what?

Surrounded by Wolves by novacorpsrecruit, art by vieryplus and bimerms

Johnny knew the Spider-Man since he first moved to Manhattan. Well, he knew of him. He knew of the countless people who claimed to be mugged by the Spider-Man. Destruction and death has always been linked to his name, from Captain George Stacy to the District Attorney. And now, the death's have turned into murders -- with red spider tracers as a breadcrumbs. But when the so-called dangerous super villain saved Johnny from being mugged in Bryant Park as a teen, Johnny wonders if the Spider-Man is as bad as everyone suggest he is.

The Boy From New York City by Traincat, art by Sciderman

Central City, California is beautiful, but it’s not where Johnny wants to be – and he’s not who he wants to be, either. Inspired by the recent return of Spider-Man, Johnny convinces the newly minted Fantastic Four to return to the Baxter Building, the site of the incident that gave them their powers. But not everything is what it seems, and worse yet, Spider-Man wants nothing to do with the Human Torch.

In the wake of Gwen’s death, Peter has finally put the mask back on, but nothing’s the same as it once was, and the thrill has gone out of Spider-Man. The Fantastic Four’s arrival only makes everything worse. The Human Torch is good looking, he’ll give him that much, but Peter has no plans of making friends. A series of strange attacks and a fateful encounter on the docks may not leave him much choice.

You Need Oxygen To Start A Fire by gemini_in_tauro, art tba

"Shouldn’t we like—I don’t know man, swear eternal friendship or something?" Just after the Harmonic Convergence, after Peter gained airbending powers, Johnny dissapears. Sue comes to ask for his help—he is quite knowledgeable with the spirits after all, and he is faced with a hard decision to do: Go after his best friend and first crush, or dominate the airbending with Tenzin and the new airbenders?

Thank you so much to all our amazing and talented participants! This event couldn’t happen without you. Hope to see you again next year! 

[bluesfortheredj]

You tap the end of your make up brush against your palm as you wait for the next person to enter your trailer, and as soon as your hear his voice from outside the door, your heart skips a beat. You jump up from leaning on the counter then straighten out your shirt and quickly smooth down your hair before he sees you.

“Ready for me?” he asks as he enters without knocking.

“Oh, Gwilym, I’m always ready for you,” you grin, and he blushes as he laughs.

“You’ve made my day already and it’s only half six,” he sighs happily as he drops himself down into the chair that faces the large mirror. You lean over from the side as you begin to wipe his face with a cleanser, then apply a nourishing cream as a base for his make up, and as you dab at his skin you find your eyes wandering down to the deep v shape in his cream t-shirt. Your tongue darts out from between your lips to lick them as you eye his chest hair and he smiles to himself in the mirror as he watches you carefully.

“So, what do you prefer on a man, (Y/N)… A bit of chest hair, or smooth and shaven?” he asks as you meet his gaze. Your mouth opens to reply but no sound comes out, so you end up looking like a fish as your lips move together then apart again.

“Can’t beat a bit of hair,” you eventually manage to squeak.

“I thought you’d say that,” he chuckles.

This was the part of your morning routine that you enjoyed the most, and Gwilym had become increasingly bold with his flirting recently as you got to know each other better and better each day. Your days had become that much brighter knowing that you’d get to see him, and you soon found yourself counting down the hours until you saw him again which you knew was a bad sign.

“(Y/N), can I ask you something?” Gwilym suddenly questions as you turn to your table full of make up and pick up a small tube of primer.

“Of course,” you smile when you turn back to face him.

“I was just-”

“Is pretty boy done yet?” Ben asks as he barges through the door unceremoniously.

Both you and Gwilym let out frustrated sighs as he flops down on the couch at the end of the trailer while he waits for you to be done with Gwil, and your conversation stops dead in its tracks.

“You don’t need to stop on my account,” Ben smirks over at you both as you hurriedly finish off Gwil’s make up.

“All done!” you announce, then turn to your table so you don’t have to watch him leave.

“Right, what am I in for today then?” Ben grins as he plants himself in the chair that Gwilym was sat in only moments ago, “oh, and sorry for disrupting you two love birds.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” you reply as you bustle around the counter and almost knock a bottle of foundation on the floor.

“Of course you don’t, and neither does Gwilym either apparently,” he smirks.

“Got your drumsticks on you?” you ask.

“No, why?”

“Well that’s a shame, I need something to hit you with,” you laugh before giving him a playful slap on the arm.

“Not my fault you two are so obvious about it,” he winks as he rubs his skin where you hit him.

Once Ben was finished and your trailer falls quiet as everyone makes their way to set, you take a few minutes to yourself and sit down with a cup of tea and your phone for company. Your thumb scrolls through instagram as usual, liking the odd photo every now and again, but you stop when it gets to the suggested people and you spot your ex boyfriend’s face straight away. A sinking feeling grows in the pit of your stomach as your eyes fixate on the tiny picture on the screen, and you almost tap on his profile before you think better of it and scroll past quickly.

The nagging voice in the back of your head continues throughout the day, making it increasingly difficult to resist taking a peek. It was a simple curiosity of what he was up to in life now, and things hadn’t ended badly so there was no negativity there; it’s like when you see an old school friend on facebook, and you have to click on their profile, even though you know it’s going to be filled with pictures of their children. You made a decision as soon as you left work that night, and if you were still wondering about it all in the morning, then you’d look.

As expected you wake up with that same thought floating around in your mind like a small cloud on an otherwise clear day, and you tap on instagram to see your suggested people hadn’t changed. There he was again, his blank expression staring back at you from his chosen photo. He never was one for smiling and that alone makes you chuckle to yourself before you finally press on it to see his profile.

“Oh, wow,” you say aloud as you see that he’s now married. He looks happy and it made you happy to see that rare smile in his wedding photo. His wife is pretty, thin, and blonde, and they look wonderful together in the pictures from their big day. You don’t spend too long on his profile and when you come off of it you’re not feeling too bad about it all, but then the comparisons start.

Of course everyone takes life at their own pace, but you’re the same age and he’s married already. Sure, other people your age have kids too, and most of them in school now, but there was something about this that was getting to you because you could not be further from anything like that in your life right now. You’d love to be settled with someone, but you are on the downhill slope towards thirty with no sign of a partner, and suddenly you start to wonder why. Your thoughts spiral on your way to work, and the fact that it’s four in the morning and you haven’t had a coffee yet is definitely not helping.

“Morning!” Gwilym grins as he walks into the trailer soon after you arrive, holding two cups of coffee, “I saw you walk in and thought you could use this. You look a little sombre this morning.”

“Thanks,” you smile as you take the cup from him, but you’re too distracted to say anything else.

“Is everything okay?” he asks as he takes his seat and looks up at you with a concerned frown.

“Fine,” you nod, “just fine.”

Gwilym frowns as you start to pick up items from your table then put them back down again when you realise they’re not what you need, and he reaches his hand out to yours to comfort you.

“Hey, you can talk to me if you want,” he says softly as his fingers stroke your knuckles.

“I’m fine,” you smile weakly.

“Alright then, here’s a question for you,” he grins, settling back in the chair, “men with long curly hair or short and swept to the side?”

“Both. At the same time,” you chuckle lightly, but stop almost as soon as you’ve started, then get to work in a solemn silence. Gwilym tries his best to get you into a proper conversation but it doesn’t work, and your answers are kept short. As he leaves the trailer he notices you hunch over in front of the mirror and take a look at yourself with an expression of disdain, and it leaves him with a sadness that sticks by him for the rest of the day.

“Have you seen (Y/N)?” he asks every person he passes once he’s done with filming. Finally he gets an answer from one of the women from wardrobe, and he finds you sitting by yourself on a chair near the car park, twirling a cigarette around in your hand.

“Didn’t know you smoked,” he smiles kindly as he approaches your slumped figure.

“I haven’t done in years,” you sigh, not taking your eyes off of the stick that rests between your fingers.

“Feeling stressed?” Gwil asks as he sits down on the floor next to you.

“I’m feeling… Unsettled.”

“Do you want to tell me why?”

“It’s stupid, really,” you say as you shake your head.

“It’s not stupid if it’s upsetting you this much. You were like a completely different person this morning, I’ve been worrying about you all day.”

You turn to look at him and meet his bright blue eyes which are filled with concern as they study your face, then you slide off of your chair so you can sit leaning up against his arm. He gladly places his arm around your shoulders as he smiles to himself, then waits for you to open up to him.

“So I know that you shouldn’t compare your life to anyone else’s, but when I’m surrounded by people that are the same age who are getting married, having children, and generally doing very grown up things that seem so far away in my own life, sometimes it just gets to me, you know? It sounds stupid, and my goodness do I sound ungrateful, but-”

“No, you don’t sound stupid in the slightest. I feel the same sometimes. Everyone sort of assumes that because of my job my life is sorted, but it’s not at all. Professionally, yes, but personally, far from it.”

“Exactly! I couldn’t be happier with my job, and I know that I’m one of the very few people in my friendship group who can say they enjoy going to work everyday, but that’s only part of it. Everything else is all up in the air, and the pressure and expectations set by everyone else just overwhelms me sometimes.”

“It’s okay, it’s only natural to feel like that what with bloody social media everywhere and engagement announcements every five seconds,” Gwilym reassures, and you tilt your head up to look at his kind face that was already aimed towards you, “anyway, those things may come to us sooner than we think...”

His lips slowly form into a smile as you both maintain eye contact, then he moves his head towards yours ever so slightly to test the waters. You smile up at him as his grip on your shoulder becomes tighter, and you also move forwards a little to let him know you felt the same. Within a couple of seconds your lips meet in the middle in a soft kiss and your hand reaches up to his cheek as he slips his tongue into your mouth. When you both eventually pull away from one another, your faces are flushed red, and neither of you are sure where to look.

“I think you’re right,” you say shyly.

Request: I have a request for Gwilym! The reader works as a makeup artist on set of Bo Rhap and always has a joke and flirts with Gwilym, but one day he notices she’s quieter than normal and doesn’t really speak whilst she’s getting him ready then finds her after he finishes filming and comforts her because she just feels a little sad and their first kiss happens?

@painthatiusedto @winnielinleigh @queenslandlover-93 @excellentbecca @ametaphorbrian @peachllobotomy @lovemarvelousfics @lovemelikeyou1997 @readinghorn

[daresplaining]

Iron Fist Season 2 Trailer Analysis

    We are just over two weeks away from the second season of Iron Fist, and we hope we won’t lose our Daredevil blogging license if we say we’re currently more excited about this than about DD Season 3. Season 1 set up some amazing stories that look like they’re going to be every inch as awesome as we’d hoped! Let’s take a look at this sucker punch of a trailer.

    Showrunner Raven Metzner has mentioned that one of his goals was to bring the action out onto the streets of New York (specifically, Chinatown). The trailer starts with a standard-issue nighttime criminal beatdown that’s likely from the first episode. And we’ve seen in the earlier promos that Danny has taken Matt’s “last” words to heart. He has fashioned himself a new purpose as the Iron Fist on Earth: stopping crime in his new city. And Danny certainly does this in the comics too, since he spends most of his time on Earth. What’s interesting here is Colleen’s comment, because it suggests a take on this narrative that has never really been part of Danny’s story before. A lot of street-level heroes run themselves ragged to the concern of the civilians in their lives. Matt Murdock is a prime example-- bringing the negative effects of his superheroics into the lives of his non-superhero loved ones is one of his primary modi operandi (love ya, Matt...). But we’ve never really seen this with Danny because 1. he doesn’t really have a civilian life to come home to, and 2. he doesn’t tend to surround himself with civilians. If he’s out all the time being a superhero, that’s cool, because so is his girlfriend (in most cases) and all of his friends. And he usually has a pretty good handle on it. He doesn’t tend to beat himself into the ground fighting crime the way Matt does-- partly because Danny has some degree of super-stamina going on, but also because most Iron Fist stories don’t tend to focus on that sort of thing. But clearly, this one will, and it’s a neat way of exploring Danny making the shift to being an Actual Superhero(TM).  

    It’s also interesting to hear this from Colleen, for the reasons mentioned above. Colleen is a crimefighter too. You’d think she’d be out there with him. But Jessica Henwick has mentioned that since so much of Colleen’s training was facilitated by the Hand, the whole experience has become somewhat tainted for her. Fighting brings back memories of that bad experience, from which she has still far from recovered, and so it seems that she will be trying to avoid it. While this certainly doesn’t make her a straight-up civilian, it clearly will give her enough perspective to see that Danny is going too far. 

    It’s usually pointless to try and analyze out-of-context dialogue in trailers because it is often misleading/edited beyond recognition/etc. But we have to say something about this line because it worries us. The process by which Iron Fist candidates are selected in this universe was left vague last season in order to add power to the conflict between Danny and Davos. We know it’s going to be clarified this season, and it seems that-- like in the comics-- it will involve ritual combat of some type. In the comics, all boys of a certain age are eligible, and according to the most recent continuity, they fight in a big tournament in which participation is... probably not optional. However, Danny wanting the Iron Fist is a major part of his early narrative in the comics. It’s this desire that, in part, empowers him to win it. He has the passion and drive, and also the skills to back it up (unlike Davos, who mostly just had the former). Removing that desire and pride in the legacy weakens Danny’s entire character. He needs to feel honored to be the Iron Fist. He needs to be confident in his ability to be a good Iron Fist. Otherwise, when Davos challenges him for the position this season, Danny won’t have a leg to stand on. We always come back to this line from Immortal Iron Fist when thinking about the Danny/Davos dynamic: 

Danny: “That’s the difference between us, Davos. You want eternal life... You want unlimited power... The Iron Fist wants only honor in death.”

Immortal Iron Fist #6 by Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, David Aja, and Matt Hollingsworth

    Davos wants the chi of Shou-Lao for his own selfish reasons-- to serve his ego, to soothe his father issues, to feel tough and invincible-- whereas Danny comes to understand the responsibility and the legacy and the significance of the position itself. And we fully support adding complexity to Davos’s motivations; we loved Davos’s humanization last season and are looking forward to more of it this season. But this shouldn’t come with a weakening of Danny’s motivations. Making a characterization choice like that would make no sense. Heck-- Danny flat-out stated last season that he wanted to be the Iron Fist and actively worked toward that goal. But again-- this line may end up being perfectly logical in-context, and we trust that Raven Metzner is a big enough Iron Fist fan to be aware of the above-mentioned concerns. 

    This is very mysterious. They also released a promotional still featuring these women, possibly from a different fight (or maybe Colleen just takes her jacket off):

    This fight came up at various points during interviews at SDCC, and the amount of verbal tiptoeing that took place during those conversations implied that these are comics characters. But so far we have no idea who they could be, and given the integration of Typhoid Mary (a DD antagonist) into the show... they’re not necessarily Iron Fist characters. They could be just about anybody. The scene from the trailer seems to take place in a tattoo parlor, which may end up being significant. Either way, we’re excited to find out who these guys are, and of course, to watch them get their butts kicked by Colleen and Misty.  

    It’s Davos, looking fancy and trying to channel Danny from Immortal Iron Fist! 

Danny: “Davos. You and I have some family business to resolve...”

Immortal Iron Fist #6 by Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, David Aja, and Matt Hollingsworth

    (A weak attempt, Davos...)

    Based on Danny’s nicely charred outfit here (which we saw last season too), this is a flashback to shortly after he acquired the chi of Shou-Lao. We are massively excited about all of these flashbacks and the ways they will dig into Danny’s psyche, his dynamic with Davos, and the K’un-Lun worldbuilding in general-- all of which are priorities for us this season.

    This setting is in the trailer a lot, and it seems to be some kind of home base/training center for Davos and Joy. We don’t know what it is, but it is visually awesome, and clearly very significant. And of course... we’ve also been on the edge of our collective seat since Season 1 waiting to see the Joy/Davos team-up will get adapted, so we’re psyched! In the comics, Davos offers up his services to the Meachums once he discovers they want Danny dead too. The Meachums finance him-- and Joy has him do a few jobs for her on the side-- and in return he gets a shot at the Iron Fist. In the show we’re expecting more nuance. This has always been an unusual team-up, and we’re really excited to see how their dynamic plays out, and to see how this version of Joy handles her revenge quest.  

    AAAAAH!

    This is concrete confirmation of one of our big hopes for this season: further exploration of the Iron Fist legacy. Not only is the legacy really interesting and fun, but learning more about his predecessors helps comics Danny to place his career in a broader context and thereby empowers him-- and we’re hoping for the same in the MCU. This is also a really nice look at the mask, and confirmation that even though Danny and Davos we both wearing these during their fight, the official Iron Fist mask also looks like that. (Which we could have guessed, obviously, but confirmation is nice). And of course, the big question is: Who is this?! 

    It’s Mary! Earlier in the trailer we see her seemingly teaming up with Danny, and now she’s kicking his butt. We’re going to write a post about Typhoid Mary for our countdown, but for anyone unfamiliar, she is a Daredevil antagonist in the comics, and has multiple personalities. One of these personalities is very docile and kind. The others are varying degrees of extremely violent. Thus, Mary spends a lot of time battling herself as the different personalities fight for control. As if this didn’t make her dangerous enough, she also has telepathy, telekinesis, and pyrokinesis… though we don’t know yet whether that’s true of her in this universe.

    The Iron Fist Twitter account also just posted this image, which might be a note Mary has left for herself: 

    Davos is actually using the Steel Serpent symbol! This was far from guaranteed, considering how much the symbol has been repurposed already in this universe. Steel Serpent was introduced as a type of heroin all the way back in Daredevil Season 1. We’re curious to see how they reconcile that with Davos’s claiming of the symbol, but also really happy that he’s using it at all, because dammit, that’s his. In the comics, he loses the right to face the dragon to Danny’s father Wendell (who ends up chickening out at the last minute). Feeling bitter and petulant about the whole thing, Davos sneaks out and illegally tries to fight Shou-Lao anyway. He almost dies, and is left with a partial brand and a whole lot of psychological scarring. Clearly, that’s not the case here, and we’re eager to see how and why he ends up claiming that symbol in this context. 

    Also... who’s that?

    It also seems that Davos has the chi of Shou-Lao! Or at the very least, something that mimics it. Since becoming the Iron Fist is Davos’s big life goal, this happens a whole bunch of times in the comics, and it’s exciting that MCU Davos will be doing the same. In the comics this kind of story has taken several different forms. In a few cases Davos has managed to tap into other sources of chi that have given him powers analogous to that of an actual Iron Fist. And there are also a few times he has actually stolen Danny’s chi. This has never really worked out for him. In one instance, Danny simply challenges him to ritual combat and wins his powers back. And in the other, Davos loses control of the chi, causing him to spontaneously combust (don’t worry, he uh, comes back to life eventually...). 

    The contents of the trailer seem to suggest that this might be a case of actual chi theft, which is the most exciting option, because it also means that Danny will spend part of the season powerless— which is always a compelling superhero narrative (at least, in our opinion). And since this power is tied directly to Danny’s identity as the Iron Fist, fighting to get it back will allow Danny to fully analyze what that part of his identity means to him, how much he wants it, and by fighting for it, to thus own all of that. This is really exciting, and makes sense as a logical next step in the journey he has been taking in these shows. 

    In the comics, stealing chi in this way involves what we've dubbed “Extreme Hugging”: 

Davos: “Step into my arms, young fool!”

Iron Fist vol. 1 #15 by Chris Claremont, John Byrne, and B. Patterson    

Danny: “Come... embrace me.”

Iron Fist vol. 2 #2 by James Felder, Robert Brown, and Mike Thomas

    We hope the same is true in the show, because we cherish this heartwarming worldbuilding detail.

    MISTYYY! Misty Misty Misty MistyMistyMistyMisty!

    Oh, right. Analysis.

    Misty is coming home! Her debut issue was Marvel Premiere #21 (an Iron Fist comic), she was a major Iron Fist character for a huge chunk of her career, she and Danny dated on-and-off for thirty years as Marvel’s first interracial couple, she and Colleen have been business partners and best friends for nearly their entire comics existence, and it’s about dang time she made her way onto this show! All of the information we have so far suggests that Misty’s police work will take her to Chinatown, where she will end up working with Danny and Colleen. We’re dying to see this, because she has yet to even speak to Danny on-screen(?!!?!), her friendship with Colleen was beautifully set up in Luke Cage Season 2, and we cannot wait to see how she reacts to all of the trademark Iron Fist shenanigans.         

    (Woooo!)

    It goes without saying that all of the fight scenes look awesome. If we took the time to go through and point out every cool fight, this post would be way too long. Here’s another one: 

    (There are a whole bunch of kitchen fight clips in this trailer. Can’t wait! You can’t go wrong with a kitchen fight.)

    And one more: 

    But just watch the trailer. This season is going to have some amazing action-- which, as an Iron Fist show, it should. 

    Once again, amid all of the supernatural shenanigans we have the poor Meachum siblings. For us, most of what made Ward interesting died with Harold, so we’re curious to see how he’ll fit into this season. On the other hand, Joy is going to be right in the thick of things, and so watching how that impacts their relationship should be fascinating. Whose side will Ward take? Will he finally get a vacation?  

    We also know, as mentioned above, that Danny and Colleen are still dating, and have in fact moved in together. (They were already essentially living together, so this isn’t that surprising.) Based on the little promos the Twitter account has been putting out, this season is clearly going to emphasize this relationship, and all of the struggles and complications inherent in this degree of intimacy. We don’t find romance all that interesting, though have been impressed by how well the writers and actors involved have crafted this relationship. And of course, we love Danny and Colleen and are happy to see them in any context. 

    T-minus sixteen days to go!

[definegodliness]

Jerk it!

So how does it happen? I'm trying to wrap my mind around it; what sprouts the initial seed, so to say. One day you're sitting in that special celebrity sauna, away from the prying eyes of the public; enjoying that purifying steam along with the crème de la crème of the performing arts industry -- to which you obviously belong, might I add -- and you're minding your own business until all of the sudden super A-list celebrity Barry Whatever nudges you and graciously points at your snickerdoodle. "Man. That is a nice cock." You look down at little ol' shrimpy and confusedly sputter, "thank you?" And you try to move away from the conversation, but Barry does not relent. "I'm serious, man. You should be proud of that thing." -- It's an awkward encounter, I'll give you that. -- But it could have ended right there and then. However something touches you deep inside when Barry sighs his envious sigh and says, "man, if I had a cock like that I'd jack it in front of everybody." Rebirth. Enlightenment. The seed has been planted.

My second theory also involves you in the sauna. Enjoying that purifying steam along with the crème de la crème of the performing arts industry -- to which you obviously belong -- and you find yourself surrounded by Triple A sausages. Little ol' shrimpy sadly pales in comparison. 'It's a grower, not a shower', you try to comfort yourself. But your mind is already pacing. Imagination runs wild and through your mind's eye you see them coming home to their WAGs and HABs. "You will not believe what I saw today," followed by a detailed description of your manly pride, "it was puny! Like a head without a shaft; like a little purple outie bellybutton." To which the respective WAG or HAB replies: "O, I need to tell this to all my friends." The news goes through the grapevine and all of the sudden people start laughing behind your back and you will henceforth be named Skittle-dick. Your social life will be ruined!

Well you can't have that. So you start fantasizing, trying to get that semi-hard on. But in this god awful heat your man meat stays dormant. It needs a touch. A covert kick-start to enlargement. People won't mind or notice if you casually reposition your shiitake; it's what guys do! And it gives you the opportunity to give it a good old squeeze. Closing your eyes for a second, you think about Jamie Lee Curtis performing that one scene in the movie True Lies. Yeah. That'll work. Nice. O, Jamie Lee. You bad girl. There we go.

"Wait. Are you jacking off?"

You open your eyes, still masturbating. All those faces locked in shock and horror. Think fast. You can't stop now. Don't let them think they caught you in the act; you are the act! And then it hits you. Your golden ticket. Your way out. You look 'em dead in the eye and with a big smile you say: "Go ahead and tell, nobody's going to believe you." Leaving in the middle if you are joking, or that you are in fact being serious. But something happens. After uttering these words your body feels all warm and tingly. The thrill. The power. Rebirth. Enlightenment. The seed has been planted.

Theories, of course. Mere theories. But in any case, somehow somewhere you had your aha erlebnis: you like jackin' it in front of random people. Which is interesting behaviour to say the least. And in stark contrast with masturbating in front of your spouse or lover, which is an entirely different ball game. When it comes to what two people consent to do in the privacy of their own home, the possibilities are endless. Use your imagination. Say you like to dip one hand in the Nutella jar and the other in chunky peanut butter, before using them in an alternating fashion to stroke your shaft while your better half -- dressed up as Big Bird and eating a Snickers -- watches you do it. Well, just do it. Whatever gets you two off. I'm sure people have done wackier experiments when they love and trust a person. But that's not you. You don’t like love and trust. You're just not that guy -- at least, not anymore -- no, you've felt the thrill of masturbation in front of unsuspecting randos and that's your thing now. It gives you highs no regular Joe will ever be able to fathom.

So how does it work? I imagine you relocating the big leather chair in your hotel room to face the door. You're wearing white socks and one of those big fluffy hotel bath robes that you'll be taking home later. Nobody will blame you, those things are way too comfortable. Anyway, you make sure the white fabric is aesthetically draped over your bougey belly -- bloated from the all you can eat lobster buffet -- and start stroking. Lazily. Eyes transfixed at the door. A knock: "Room service." And as poor Philippina comes in and sees your Exogorth, all she can do is gasp in shock and disgust. You make sure you imprint that look on her face, before she inevitably closes the door. That is what you'll use to climax. You are a fiend. A dirty boy. And even if you don't really know what Phillipina will do after that, you know that it isn't important either. After all, there's not a lot else she can do. I mean, when it's your word against hers this story could easily cost her her job. O, the power. You matter. Certainly, that thought will put you over the edge. Another reason to take that bathrobe home.

Another question. Are there any special kicks? Is the whole experience better when you time your orgasm to the exact moment when Phillippina opens the door so she's there to witness your ferret face of forbidden ecstasy? Does it take any preparation at all, or can you just flop it out anywhere and go do your thing? Are slacks better than jeans? I'm just trying to understand how it all works. Do you bide your time, waiting for that moment to be alone with Jackie the intern, and then it's all like, "hey baby, can you lend a hand?" Or is it all part of some secret celebrity game of spermatic tag; where a select few keep score of how many unsuspecting people they can ejaculate on. The Mark of God, so to say. Maybe everyone in Hollywood is in on it, chasing each other through the hallways, furiously masturbating. And if it’s not some sort of secret celebrity sex game, where’s the fun part in all of this? I don't know anymore. It’s all too absurd.

What I do know is this: Never in the history of mankind has any person, man or woman, ever reacted to an unsolicited act of jerkitry with, "hmm, that is some good dick. Mind if I hop onto it; maybe suck it a little?" It doesn't happen. And you know that. So it isn't about them, or you and them. This is solely about you. So what's the deal here, what are you trying to achieve? Is it all a game of power; of establishing dominance; of knowing you can get away with anything because you're all that? A greater feeding and reaffirmation of that fragile ego that got you in the performing arts industry in the first place. Was negative attention the only attention you received when growing up; did it twist your mind in such a way that you now crave it sexually? ‘Cause I can’t think of any other reaction than shock and disgust to your antics. And I understand that that’s a kink that’s hard to please in the consensual spectrum of things.

Whatever your issue are, they are proper issues, my good man. And you have to fix them before you can even hope to once again be accepted as a member of the general public, whose individuals you have scarred and damaged by decisions only you can be held accountable for. You fucked up beyond apologizing. And I really don’t see anyway you can make up for this. But then again, maybe justice is this: 

You spent a lifetime following that classic performing artist's inferiority complex, building your legacy; letting the world know you're a swell guy. Proving above all to yourself that you do indeed matter. And then when you finally felt you did, you snapped right into a god complex, figuring your urges matter more than other people do. In the end, that's what made the world see you the way you have always felt deep inside. Weird and disgusting. What a joke.

[grumpygayming]

Do the odd questions for Aim and the evens for his twin whose name I forgot

Ok, for Aimilios & Amias

Aimilios

1. Do they prefer to wear headphones or earbuds when listening to music?

As a byproduct of being a dad…ear buds, that way he can share with Theo if need be or easily take them off when Theo needs him.

  3. Do they usually eat mild, medium, or spicy salsa?

Spicy, always spicy unless he’s sharing with Theo in which case it’s mild because the last time he tried to give him spicy food Theo cried for an hour afterwards & Aim felt like the worst dad ever.          

5. How do they react to finding out someone has a crush on them?

 It doesn’t faze him all that much unless the feelings are mutual, in which case he becomes a nervous mess trying not to ruin things between him and the other person, However, they would never find out about it because over the years he’s gotten pretty good at putting his feelings aside and acting as casual & charming as possible around them. He calls it a byproduct of being a performer.           

7. How would they fare in a zombie apocalypse?

Aimilios would kick ass in a Zombie apocalypse. He would be the leader of his own group (probably his dance students, boyfriend, & son) and he would most definitely survive and as long as everyone listened to him they would too.            

9. How much ice do they put in their drinks?

The normal amount?         

11. What’s their desktop background?

He & Theo dancing in his studio on his last birthday, where a few of his co-workers threw a party for him.               

13. Did they have any phases? (e.g. emo, punk, scene…)

Is straight a phase? Cause, if so, yeah he went through attempting to be your average straight guy up until recently, he even joined baseball in high school to try & fit the mold.              

15. Are they the big spoon or the little spoon?

Big spoon most of the time, but he does enjoy being held and being the little spoon at times. But it’s not the norm.            

17. How do they like their toast?

Toasty.                         

19. What are they like as a neighbor?

Not gonna lie, Aim keeps some weird ass hours and if it’s near time for a performance he can be a pain in the as as a neighbor (if you live below him that is) because he’ll get up at three am to go over footwork, he stays quiet thought because he doesn’t want to wake Theo…so that’s a plus. But other than that he’s a great neighbor, he always has a stocked kitchen for Theo’s sake (trying to provide normalcy for his kid in a single parent household, blah, blah) so you can always ask him for a cup of sugar, or eggs, or whatever else. And he’s really friendly despite keeping to himself on account of being dead tired when he gets home after work.              

 21. What’s the weirdest thing you’re likely to find in their room?

His ballet barre

23. Do they like raisins in their pastries? If no, will it stop them from eating it?      

He hates raisins baked into most things and generally he won’t eat it but there are exceptions to the rule. Very few but they exist.

25. Does your muse listen to vinyl records? Do they use iTunes? Do they legally or  illegally download music?            

iTunes or streaming services, he does own a few vinyl records of his father’s but other than that he doesn’t listen to them.

27. Is your muse a dreamer or a realist?            

A little bit of both? When it comes to his personal happiness he’s definitely a dreamer but as far as how he can achieve things on the day to day he’s a realist.

29. What’s their Subway order?              

He will get whatever sounds good at the time since he doesn’t go to Subway all that often and when he does he usually goes for Theo and doesn’t get much of anything for himself.

31. What about themselves do they usually not tell people? What are they embarrassed of?          

His sexuality, even when it comes up, he’s still very used to being closeted  (I mean after a 13 year relationship with a woman and being closeted for 30 years…you’d be iffy about talking to people about it too lol) and he doesn’t quite know how to approach the subject. Even now that he’s in a serious relationship he doesn’t announce to the world that he has a boyfriend because of the personal awkwardness surrounding his sexuality, he does however want to show off his boyfriend all the time so it’s difficult for him.

He’s embarrassed of….nothing really.

33. White, red, or rose wine?           

Boxed? Not for the taste but he’s fond of the memories boxed wine brings, doesn’t matter the kind, just cheap, boxed wine. When he and his brother turned 21 they would drive out to their grandparent’s farm and drink boxed wine in the back of their pick up truck. As they got older and their cousins all turned 21 it became tradition to go to the farm every summer and drink their asses off together.

35. What’s their Starbucks order?             

Venti caramel macchiato, double shot of espresso & a chocolate croissant for Theo.

37. Do they believe in any conspiracy theories? Fear a zombie apocalypse/AI overtake? How do they think the world will end?              

He has no time for any of these, with how busy he is teaching, performing himself, & freelancing choreography on top of raising his son & making time for his boyfriend.

39. What would you see if you looked through their trashcan?            

Sketches, notes from his ex aka the mother of his son, old pens, and wrappers for protein bars.

41. Are they an exhibitionist? Do they ever change in front of windows? Have sex when they know people can see/hear?               

Hahhhh, he would never admit to it but he does like the thrill of other people being able to hear and see him, however, he’s a bit too shy to ever actively pursue having an audience (his brother however…..oh boy).

43. Why do people usually call them on the telephone? To complain? To ask for advice? To ask them to do something for them?               

For work, generally for his professional expertise or to help solve problems. Other than that he usually gets calls from family just to catch up & check in on him.

45. Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter?            

LOTR

47. How do they go about asking someone out or confessing their feelings about someone to them?              

He’s pretty upfront, if he likes someone or wants to go out with them he’ll simply tell them or ask as long as he knows it won’t affect them negatively.

49. In the “sleep vs. grades vs. social life, pick two” situation, which two do they pick?               

Social Life & Grades, he lived that life in high school & college and has gotten quite accustomed to running on minimal sleep.

Amias                

2. What do they do when they’re feeling tired and need to stay awake? 

Drink coffee….or he’ll just sleep and hope that he wakes up in time to finish whatever he needs to get done.            

4. Pizza, McDonalds, or Chinese take-out?  

Chinese.           

6. How do they feel about unrequited love?     

That it’s shitty but a part of life. There’s no point in harping over it because if you move on you’ll have another chance with someone whose actually meant for you later on.                

8. Gold, silver, or copper jewelry? 

Silver.            

10. Do they use Instagram, Facebook, or Tumblr? If so, how much/often?             Facebook almost daily, he’s the annoying guy that post pictures of his kids and leaves comments on all of his family members content.

12. How are they at taking care of plants? 

Pretty decent, he and his brother used to garden with their mother all through out his life. He keeps a small window garden in is kitchen.           

14. How did they do academically in high school?  

Well enough to pass and graduate a semester early so he could tour with his band before they all went to college.                      

16. How do they like their eggs?     

Scrambled.                    

18. Queso or guacamole? 

Guacamole.                        

20. How do they behave when confronted with deadlines?    

He finishes things before the deadline in order to have time to review before having to hand in/present the final product.          

22. What fictional character do they relate to the most?  

 ???                  

24. When forced to do a group project with other people, what role do they usually play?            

Leader, he hates relying on other people.                 

26. How would your muse do at taking care of a goldfish?    

If it’s easier than taking care of twin toddlers and a newborn baby then he’d be amazing.                 

28. Android, iPhone, or other?

iPhone                            

30. Trendsetter, trend follower, or trend ignorer?

Trend ignorer.                      

32. What’s their ideal vacation?  

Before kids it was anywhere he and Bronte could spend days together where they barely left the bed. But now that they’ve got Charlie, Eli, and Jonah it would be anywhere that he can see the three of them bond and get the most of their time together…but of course with activities that keep them away for just long enough for he and Bronte to get up to their own fun.                    

34. Are they outdoorsy? Do they enjoy hiking, camping, etc.?        

Very much so, he and his brother spent plenty of summers camping with their grandpa and on the family farm.                     

36. What colors make up most of their wardrobe?

Black, black, and more black.                           

38. Do they play video games? If so, which ones?  

Anything he can get his hands on but he’s particularly fond of legend of zelda.                       

40. What kind of videos do they get recommended on YouTube?

Music videos, speed art, and art tutorials.                           

42. How do they feel about astrology?

Not too into it but he does read up on it out of boredom sometimes.                     

44. Have they ever had any pregnancy scares?   

He’s a hoe, so yeah…a few with girls he was with but luckily they were only scares.         

46. Do they meme? Enjoy memes? Create memes? Find them horribly annoying? How about shitposts?

Dank memes, shit posting, he’s into it. He might even be a meme economist.     

48. When do they usually go to bed?

He’s the father of twins and a newborn….what is sleep to him?              

50. What do they think is the meaning of life?

To experience as much as you can before death comes for you.              

[wrightsum857]

SPIRITED AWAY REVIEW PTII (Sorry I am late it has been a while hasn't it?)

The focus is mainly going to be on Haku. Not all of this is mine, I got a lot of inspiration/ideas from a fanfiction written by someone called moviefan-92. It is absolutely wonderful and I absolutely recommend you give it a read. I shall leave a link below. As always a quick *warning of spoilers*.

From the start Haku is a bit of a mystery. He appears seemingly out of nowhere and disappears as fast. Warning Chihiro to leave immediately (which I always thought of as a bit rude but I can understand why).

He then goes on to protect Chihiro, bring her to the bath house to get work, find her clothes from the Human World, secure her identity (and so her freedom), allow her to see her parents, make a deal to break her contract, retrieve her from Zeniba’s and allow her to leave to go home with a final piece of advice to secure her safety through the tunnel to her world. Phew! Not bad for a two hundred odd Dragon-boy spirit.

Anyways we get very varied sides of Haku. Not all of them are good. He is either cold and distant, or warm and friendly. Some of the spirits even warn Chihiro to stay clear of him. So why doesn’t Chihiro? And how does she/he fall in love with him/her?

Okay yes, if you met a (cute) boy about your age *(well looks anyway) who frees you from a spell that cripples your legs and feeds you to protect you from dying and allows you to see your parents-well you might be a little bit grateful. But that doesn’t explain how she fell in love with him. *I am just going to assume that since he looks ten he acts and feels and behaves like a ten year old-not including his magic and knowledge attained over the past century or so.

We would have to assume that before Haku left for Yubaba he kept visiting Chihiro to take her to see her parents as he warned her to ‘never come here without me’. How else could Chihiro remember what her parents looked like to know for certain the pigs Yubaba sets before her are a fake? I don’t know about you but I would not be able to distinguish my parents as pigs after only seeing them very briefly twice!

With this in mind this off screen interaction must account for Chihiro suddenly being in love with Haku. We see her with him 6 times (roughly) Amazingly though Miyazaki gives us enough hints on screen for us to realize Chihiro cares for Haku. So when she breaks the curse from the Golden Seal on him it is not a complete surprise.

Alone, she goes on to dream about him, recalling the moment she fell into a river as a young toddler. When he assigns her to her room he acts cold and distant from her-here is the only time we see Chihiro openly hurt and confused by him. Of course we as a viewer understand that if he showed any kind of kindness towards her he would cause suspicion.

This cold attitude however is important. It shows who Haku has been and behaved like for decades to the other staff. Kamaji (the boiler man) later explains that when Haku first came over to the bath house he was good but by becoming Yubaba’s apprentice he became cold and his eyes hardened; he was never the same again. Chihiro sees this part of Haku but forgives him because she knows what he has done for her already. The only other time he is distant towards Chihiro, is when he is left to bleed out from his injuries. He snarls at Chihiro and Kamaji warns her to be careful as he is a ten foot, very sore dragon at this point. But I would argue he wasn’t angry at Chihiro, we as a viewer can recognize that he may just be a little bit embarrassed that Chihiro is seeing him like this. Even though she knows he is a Dragon-he might not they might never have discussed it. He might be worried she might be scared of him looking like that? And to be hurt at all, when he has appeared as nothing but strong and powerful in front of her in the past.

The gentle side of Haku. Although curt with her at the start, he did save her life. He is extra cautious and gentle when he finds her and encourages her to eat the berries to live. After being cruel to her in front of the other workers, he makes it up to her by taking her to see her parents. He gives her-her name back and comforts her as she cries. All the time speaking in a gentle tone.

The sweet side of Haku. Haku admits he knows her real name even though she never told him. At this point we/he does not know why this is. But already we can tell that simply knowing her name is enough. Subconsciously his mind has made the connection and this secret-this truth prompts him to be good. It is a reminder of whom he once was-a good and kind Spirit. Chihiro prompts him to recall his former self back to the surface. Feeding his former strength to fight Yubaba’s spell over him. For this he can’t help but protect her like he once did long ago. As for Chihiro. She is ten (and if you read my first review on her) a bratty little girl who has never known true love. She is presented with a boy who not only saves her but continuously protects her from harm-pushing for her to return home with her parents. Who else offers her a way out? (Except Kamaji who gives her tickets to see Zeniba but that is still within the realm of the Spirit World). Granted he is a little pushy, but he is continuously saving her and protecting her. This goes against every negative thing all the other Spirits have said. Haku feels comfortable enough to show who he truly is and Chihiro recognizes that.

The Lake Spirit helps Chihiro to understand Haku’s predicament further. Here she is confronted with a similar type of Water Spirit who is polluted from the waste humans dumped in his lake over many years. So much so, that he is visibly ugly and off putting i.e. a ‘Stink’ Spirit. Haku is the same- only it is on the inside. The control bug Yubaba has put inside him, and his true name she stole from him, have caused him to become hard and bitter. Being surrounded by like-minded spirits who we learn are filled with greed and gluttony is enough to make anyone crazy-take No Face for instance! By saving the Lake Spirit Chihiro realizes she has the potential to save Haku. -repaying him for his kindness towards her. She just has to find a way to expel all that ‘dirt’ that is inside of him. Selfless side of Haku. Even when close to death Haku slowed Chihiro’s decent so they could land (albeit a little bumpily) into Kamaji’s stock room. Innocent side of Haku. I love the fact that Haku struggles to take the medicine and like Chihiro is horrified by how disgusting the medicine tastes. It shows a level of childishness and innocence we have seen before. For once Chihiro gets to boss Haku around for his own good!

With that two things emerge. 1 the controlling bug (similar to a peeping bug in Howl’s Moving Castle) that forced Haku to do Yubaba’s bidding. 2 the Golden Seal Haku had taken from Zeniba. Kamajii admits Haku should be dead due to how powerful the curse protecting the seal is- that only True Love could have saved him. This is the moment we have confirmation of Chihiro’s love for Haku. Without us really knowing it Miyazaki has fed us small snippets into Chihiro’s thoughts and feelings over Haku that had helped us accept this idea without much complaint. So of course we aren’t as surprised by this revelation. But what about Haku? Does he love Chihiro? Do two people have to love each other in order for the curse to break or was it just Chihiro’s love for Haku? After all that has happened I would say it took both of them. Haku has being looking out for Chihiro from the beginning-he doesn’t know why but he has. Chihiro does the same for him. Not just to repay him but because she genuinely cares about hi. Running onto pipes on the sides of buildings and nearly falling to her death caring for him. If that isn’t Love, I don’t what it is.

But it occurs to me as I write this review as to what KIND of love are we talking about here? Chihiro is still just a child (I would assume the same for Haku as discussed earlier), I doubt she would be feeling the romantic, sometimes lusty-energetic kind of love you experience as an adult so what is it? It is not sibling love either-that is clear enough too. No it is just love in its purest form. This is the one thing I love about Mr. Miyazaki the most. His talent to convey a child’s love-a sweetheart’s love that has none of the complications an adults love has.

Haku saved Chihiro’s life, he was her closest companion (other than Lin and Kamajii) who was remotely close to her age-he was her friend. And Chihiro loved him for it. Having to be so hard and strict to stay in charge, it is clear Haku doesn’t have much friends-or maybe none except Kamaji. So clearly being friends with Chihiro would be a big deal for him too. We saw at the beginning of the film that Chihiro is very good at making strongly bonded friendships-so much so she was even given a bouquet of flowers to say goodbye! Haku is just another example of a what a strong friendship with Chihiro looks like when put into action. Even Lin and Kamaji are devoted to her. Chihiro simply has a way about her that causes you to love her and Haku is no exception. So yes I think he is a good friend but I don’t believe she/he loves him/her “just as a friend”. -No Face is ‘just a friend’. They both have a deep regard and affection for each other that I believe stems from their first encounter- the day they first met when she was younger in the Human World. That event caused a bond to form between the two of them that was personal. Her presence has merely rekindled that bond and allowed it to grow into something deeper and pure.

The I am in love with you side of Haku (by far the sweetest side). Haku awakens. Recalling how he heard her voice calling him back from the brink of death. He goes to his boss Zeniba, reveals her son his missing and stands his ground against her at the peak of her fury. And finally, forces her to redraw Chihiro’s contract. He then goes to Chihiro. As Chihiro throws herself at him he accepts her embrace in return, completely comfortable for her to see him in his Dragon form. As they fly through the air-on his back, Chihiro is taken back again to the time when she fell in the river and this time she recalls it clearly. Haku saved her life when she was just a young girl. Instead of allowing her to drown Haku personally disengaged from his river-in his Dragon form and carried her to shore. But recalling this allowed to Haku, she shouts out his full name and Haku finally remembers. He is so startled he transforms back into a human and behaves more excited and happy then we have ever seen him before, clenching hands with Chihiro with tears in both their eyes in happiness. (Ugh I cry every time I see that part).

What is it about their relationship that makes it not just friendship? It’s her asking for him, it’s them embracing, saving each other’s lives time and time again etc. taking soul-mates to a whole new level! Because that is what they are. Haku (a soul) and Chihiro (his mate) where destined for each other. For Haku, Chihiro was his humanity of sorts-her presence reminded him that he does not mind Humans-and would do anything to protect one in particular. - Unlike many other Spirits like Zeniba, who believe spirits to be ‘smelly’ creatures. But since Haku has been around similar thinking Spirits for so long, it was hard not to be affected by their negative thoughts and behavior for a while. However, if he can reveal himself to a human (which is forbidden) and save the life of a child, and continue to protect her when she is older-then he is not a bad person/spirit. Chihiro saw this in him from the start and never doubted him. She even admits to him that she knew he ‘were good’ from the start.

By the end of the film Haku has proven to us that he is not a one dimensional character. Like all people he is a 'diamond in the rough’ with multiple facets of emotions that make him who is and a great, good guy. He is: reserved, courageous, protective, caring and kind. He is as smart as he is powerful-all driven by his love for Chihiro, his sweet heart, his friend, his soul-mate.

The film ends in the Spirit World how it began-Haku and Chihiro on the bridge with a final farewell and a promise-a promise to see each other again. And why not? After all they have met each other twice now-in two very separate Worlds-so why not for a third? Although this has yet to be proven by Miyazaki (annoyingly enough) many have given their thoughts and views on how Chihiro and Haku met again.

There is ALOT of beautiful fanfiction-some drawings, paintings etc. and some stories. Which leads me onto the fanfiction I have recommended prior to this review. Movie-fan92 has written a stunning fanfiction about how Chihiro could have met Haku again- another 10 years down the line. It is a very beautiful piece I am sure even Mr. Miyazaki would love! I personally feel it captures Chihiro and many of the other character’s characteristics well. I would definitely give it a read.

On a personal note I believe it is plausible Chihiro could have met Haku in her world. He could have found his river, found where it opens back onto level ground/air and flown to where she may be etc. Or she could have been waiting at an opening at his river etc. They could have lived a full life together and moved on to the Spirit World together etc. The less sweet version of course is that Chihiro dies and becomes a Spirit but this is where I prefer Movie-fan92’s version Chihiro returns to the Spirit World, still human but still very much in love with Haku, and this time she plans on staying…

Anyway I hope you liked this review and let me know what you think- Did Mr. Miyazaki convey their love well? Was it obvious? Do you believe Chihiro and Haku could ever meet again? If so how? Here is the link, seriously, enjoy. https://m.fanfiction.net/s/3261432/1/Spirited-Away-2-Return-to-the-Spirit-World: