#like the fever clip from the music video / behind the music video

[misslavenderlady]

The Boys Who Wouldn't Grow Up - Chapter 3

Summary: Being the good brother that he is, Marko helps David get out and have some fun in Santa Carla. David is expecting good music, but little does he know there's a special someone he'll experience too~

I'm afraid my story doesn't have the iconic Sax Man™, but it does have the musical genius of Hall & Oates! For those of you who need a refresher, Maria is the employee at Max's video store that Marko, Dwayne, and Paul flirt with (in a deleted scene she trains Lucy in her new job)!

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A few days had gone by and barely a word had been traded between Max and David. Their conversation after their first dinner home had definitely soured things between the two, and while Max was struggling to figure out the best way to talk to his son, David was purposely avoiding his father at all costs. Marko was visibly uncomfortable with this, choosing to just spend time with either his grandmother or the dog to avoid asking about what happened.

Despite the efforts to maintain a sense of peace, Marko was starting to feel the itch of cabin fever from being cooped up in the house for so long. He hadn’t gotten any real chances to explore Santa Carla properly, and he thought it was stupid not seeing the place he was going to be for the rest of the summer. He didn’t have a driver’s license and David wasn’t willing to either give a ride or lend his bike so his only option was a 15-minute walk to the nearest section of the beach. 

Luckily, that path had gotten him far enough to find a bulletin board on the street across from the sandy terrain. It was littered with newspaper clippings, sketchy job postings, and an alarming amount of missing person’s posters. Hopefully, they were just for runaways and nothing serious.

After scanning all the papers, Marko finally found something that would help with the boredom. A concert was playing tomorrow night, and it was just the kind of band that both he and David liked. Snatching up one of the copies pinned behind the main page, Marko jogged home, excited to get himself and his brother out of the house for a night on the town. Surely this would put David in a better mood!

“No.” was all David said when Marko had shoved the flier in his face. So much for a better mood.

David was lounging on the couch in the living room with a journal in his lap and the history channel on a low volume for background. It was one of the few moments of peace he had in more space in the house. His father was busy on the phone with his work colleagues back in their hometown and wouldn’t disturb his solitude for a couple of hours. Of course, that didn’t stop Marko from bugging him.

“C’mon, David! Staying in here all day sucks! Some of us DON’T want to be hermits all summer!”

“Fuck no,” David emphasized, not wanting to be bothered any longer.

Marko let out an exasperated sigh, frustrated but not ready to give up. It would be better to try going with the emotional side of his brother.

“Look, man, I’m worried about you. Even though you’re a pain, I don’t like seeing you unhappy” Marko said. He reached out to push David’s journal downward, forcing the older brother to actually look at him when he was talking. 

“If you stay here you’re just gonna keep wallowing in misery, and I know that’ll make you feel worse. Let’s go and have fun, and forget all the other garbage going on”. Even if this was for Marko’s sake of getting out of the house more, there was some genuine care behind it. Despite their brotherly quarrels, he did worry about David and his well-being a lot.

David knew there was some sincerity behind Marko’s words, and it put a pang of guilt in his heart. Just because he was angry at his dad didn’t mean his little brother deserved that kind of treatment too. Besides, what was the worst that could happen?

“Fine. But I’m driving us. You’re not touching my bike after the last time I let you give it a try” David said. He remembered how long it took to buff out the scratches after Marko didn’t put the kickstand down properly. Luckily, that didn’t seem to be a problem because he was so happy with the answer that a big, dopey smile spread across his face.

“Hell yeah! I’m gonna wear that jacket we got on our last vacation! I’m gonna look so damn cool!” Marko exclaimed, running off to prepare his outfit for the next night. David couldn’t help but smirk a little as he rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the journal in his hands. Even if the concert didn’t make him feel better, at least it would put his little brother in a good mood. That definitely counted for something.

One of the things David and Marko had in common besides their taste in music was their taste in fashion. After David had drastically transformed his style and filled his wardrobe with leather jackets, dark shirts, and spiked jewelry, Marko followed suit.

He was pretty tame most of the time, but on special occasions, he loved breaking out the collection of elaborate jackets and fingerless gloves he had started collecting. He even learned some basics in sewing so he could add new accessories and patches to the denim jackets he had. Max didn’t understand their look, but it at least made the two happy to be creative.

Tonight was the perfect night to dress their best and have some fun. After putting together their outfits and accessories, the two went out to the concert on David’s bike.

Max had watched them pull out of the driveway from the kitchen window. As nice as it was seeing his boys out and somewhat joyful, it was hard not to worry about them being out by themselves. He sometimes saw them as small children, needing their hands held as they all crossed the street. Santa Carla could be quite crazy at night, and the last thing he wanted was his boys to get involved with local gangs or get mugged in an alley.

He wouldn’t admit it, but one of the reasons why he wanted them to be more mature was because he didn’t want them to be vulnerable and unwise to the dangers of the world. The better prepared they were, the more likely they were to follow the right path in life. It was difficult to find the right words to express that sometimes.

His mother must have been able to figure out why he looked so worried because she stepped up to Max’s side and put her arm around his shoulder. She smiled at her son and gave him a gentle pat.

“They’re not the only ones who deserve a little fun out,” she said. “Why don’t you go out for some fresh air, dear? It’ll help you clear your head”

Suddenly, a walk on the boardwalk sounded less scary and a bit more inviting. Perhaps Max had been spending too much time alone with his thoughts. A little exercise and a new environment would be for the best right now. Smiling at his mom, Max gave a nod and left the room to put on some sneakers before heading out.

The music at the concert was pumping with energy and power as it played over the massive crowd of teens and 20-somethings. Girls were hoisted onto the strong shoulders of the guys in the crowd to enjoy a better view. The light of several glow sticks and flames from lighters illuminated the darkness. The air was heating up fast because of the summer air and the people crowded together. All of the area was bursting with life, and everyone was feeling the rush.

Almost everyone.

The band onstage had been playing hit after hit for a good hour now, and while David had been liking the music, he was feeling his internal battery slowly drain. He had hoped to genuinely enjoy things and match the energy his brother had kept up, but he was still struggling. He wondered if other kids like him dealt with this. Genuinely wanting to try to have a good time, but their brains just not letting them. He remembered talking about it with the school counselor, but there hadn’t been enough time to go into detail about it.

Instead of jumping to the beat of the song with Marko, David had started smoking a cigarette, trying to relax a bit more. He knew it was a bad habit, but he tried to limit himself to just one stick a day. A little hit to make it through tough moments. 

Marko whooped and hollered with joy as the band started playing a cover of one of his favorite Hall & Oates songs. The keyboard was boosting his already high energy and he found himself swaying along. 

David gave him a small smile and nod, encouraging his brother to have fun while he enjoyed his smoke. 

“Aren’t you a little young for those?” a voice asked to David’s left. Surprised, he snapped his head in the direction it came from, coming face to face with a girl. Not just a girl though. A breathtakingly beautiful girl. 

She was shorter in height than David and looked at him with a gleam in her dark, brown eyes. Her hair had shiny curls that fell to her shoulders. Her almond-toned skin was practically glowing under the moonlight and she was dressed in a red-toned, strapless, bohemian dress. This girl was absolutely flawless from head to toe, and she had picked David of all people to talk to.

“Funny, that’s what the dealer who sold me them said” he joked, taking another drag, but being courteous enough to blow it away from her direction. Better try not to be as big an asshole as usual in front of the lady.

“You know, you have a really nice complexion, honey. Smoking will just take it away~”

The mystery girl reached out and brushed her fingers over David’s cheekbone, gentle with her long, painted nails. He could feel his heartbeat speeding rapidly, definitely not used to getting such intimate attention. The perfume on her wrist smelled of lilac, and it was already making him feel lightheaded in the best way possible.

He didn’t think twice before flicking the smoke to the ground and crushing it under his boot. Addiction be damned if it meant getting more attention from her. 

“You wanna dance with me a bit~?” the mystery girl asked. Funny enough, she seemed to be whispering, but he could hear her clearly over the volume of the band. David’s tongue couldn’t form the right words, so he instead wordlessly nodded and took her hand in his. The smile she gave him when he accepted was enough to stop his heart. 

Manic moves and drowsy dreams

Or living in the middle between the two extremes

Smoking guns hot to the touch

Would cool down if we didn't use them so much

The song was a perfect guide for the moves David and the mystery girl did together. Without even thinking, the hand that didn’t hold hers was wrapped around her slim waist. As he moved side to side with her, he felt his brain clouding, not thinking as it should, but just getting lost in the moment. When was the last time he felt this blissful?

We're soul alone

And soul really matters to me

Too much

As the two swayed to the beat together, she giggled, clearly enjoying the moves he was making up as he went. Her smile was the brightest he had ever seen, and he would have told her so if he wasn’t feeling so tongue-tied. It was so rewarding to let go and have fun. David truly felt like his best self right now. 

Just a boy with a girl without a care in the world as they danced. It was odd feeling himself smile so much as it had been so long since he had a reason to do so. 

You're out of touch

I'm out of time

But I'm out of my head when you're not around

He spun the girl around, feeling giddy from the laughter that escaped her. Their moves were growing bolder and the energy he had been lacking before was now free-flowing. She swayed so gracefully, almost as if she was floating on air instead of the ground. It was impossible not to be enchanted by her every move. 

She stopped suddenly, holding her gaze with David. The way she looked at him made his body go still, almost as if he was paralyzed. He had just met this girl and yet she had complete control over him. She seemed to be studying him as if she was taking in every piece of information about him without saying a single word. 

His heart was racing more than ever as the mystery girl leaned in and whispered close to his ear. The lilac scent was even stronger now. Without his own control, David shut his eyes and listened closely.

“Goodnight. I’m sorry…” 

Whatever spell David had been under was broken and he could move again. His eyes shot open, and the girl he had enjoyed the dance with was gone. He moved his head around in every direction, desperately looking for her. There were plenty of people in this crowd, but none of them were her. How the hell did she get out of sight so fast? He had opened his eyes as soon as she spoke, so there was no possible way for her to get far. 

Why did she leave? Why did she say she was sorry?

More confused and concerned than ever, David realized he hadn’t given her his name or even asked for hers. How could he be so stupid?! He wanted to end their moment on a better note, and if he was going to do that, he needed to find her quickly. 

He rushed over back to Marko, who hadn’t seen what happened but was instead still lost in the music. David clasped a hand on his brother’s shoulder, grabbing his attention. Marko’s smile fell when he saw how overwhelmed his brother looked. He knew he had gotten tense as the night went on, but now he looked a lot worse.

“What’s wrong?” Marko asked, stopping his dance to focus on his brother.

“Follow me. I need to find someone,” he simply said, taking Marko’s hand and leading him to the wooden staircase at the back of the venue. He figured since it was the closest exit, she might have headed to the boardwalk. It was still impossible how fast she had left, but he would do his best to find her. 

You're out of touch

I'm out of time

But I'm out of my head when you're not around

credit for the pics goes to quotev.com and mycast.io

[rametarin]

I'd never be able to live the life of a junkie

I drink a full caffeinated dunkin donuts coffee and wind up feeling like I'm in the, "wasted on drugs and alcohol" part of the Behind the Music special, where they dramatize the musician shirtless and hungover, trying to detox.

"Ram was up to two shots of cream and one caramel swirl, per drink- once a quarter and then once a month.. We were like, 'Nooo! We love you! Don't do this!' And he was like, 'You don't understand how hard it is! To br! Awesoooooome!' "

I really really really ain't about that life, man. You catch me in one of those Behind the [stuff] videos, closest thing to ODing you'll see me do is eat a whole Thanksgiving turkey and roll over asleep, all hopped up on tryptophan. Unless they figure out a way to hypodermically inject the laughter of small children that are easily amused by bad puns and wordplay into my veins, or turn actual sunshine and rainy days into something you can snort off a toilet seat.

Losing porn would be unpleasant but I guess in the way losing Sprite would be unpleasant. Flavor, but not really anything holding me to it. I mean, for computers it's like the option for cherries and sprinkles on an icecream. If it's there, why not? But you don't need it to enjoy the icecream. But if it's there, why not. Still, nobody is going to be caught freebasing 2 minute clips from some hentai and have fever dreams about magical girl pastiches climbing walls and then pouncing them when jonesing, or something.

this post has no point outside I'm not fond of caffeine but heck I can tolerate it but I'd prefer not to. But I didn't want to fuss with the poor employee's job.

[mi4011amandithewarathanthri]

Assessment 1

2. conduct research into their life stories

Jack Stauber - introduction and inspiration

Jack Stauber is a 27 year old internet personality born and based in Pennsylvania, USA. He studied at the University of Pittsburg and graduated with a major in junior marketing and a minor in studio arts. He’s a very popular YouTuber, with most of his music and animated works being used in internet memes, and featured on Youtube, TikTok, and other social media services. 

He is best known for the Retro and VHS aesthetic feel to his animated work, as well as his constant use of mixed media. He often incorporates elements of live action, 2D animation, claymation, and crude 3D computer animation into his works. He is also known for his surreal, weird, absurdist art style that can at times be very disturbing. 

His music — both independent and the ones accompanying his animations — mostly falls under the genre of Avant-pop, synth-pop, hypnagogic pop, and indie-pop. But he often mixes elements of other genres like folk, jazz, lo-fi, and rock into his music. His style of singing is very varied and unique as well, being able to hit deep lows and high falsettos. This flexible vocal performance adds to overall feel and tone of his pieces.

His work often evokes a sense of anemoia (nostalgia of a time or place one has never known). The poorly drawn MS paint animation, morphing claymation, and quirky live-action shots fused together into a surreal fever dream is what makes his music videos so special. It's perfect to watch it at 3AM. It feels abstract and scary, but can be relaxing and meaningful at the same time.

Stauber's creations always evoke a deeply profound sadness, conveying all of the innate helplessness and dread we feel on a day to day basis, but in a way we can't ignore. Its the perfect medium for the kind of stories he wants to tell. 

Jack spent most of his childhood surrounded by vintage items from the 80s and 90s, which would later serve as a big inspiration for his art style and music. He also says he was influenced by many of the cartoons and tv shows he watched as child. One big example is Rugrats, which Jack claims was his favourite cartoon growing up, and he used to really love Klasky Csupo's art style in the show, especially in the pilot episode. Klasky Csupo’s influence in Stauber’s work can be most seen in  “five” and “hot dogs.” Stauber has also included some audio clips from Rugrats in his work as a homage to Csupo.

Stauber also claims that his favourite movie — Pink Floyd's “The Wall” — was a big influence when it came to his creepy and surreal art style. Some other cartoon influences include pink panther, merry melodies, and Fleischer Studios cartoons. When it came to his claymation work, Jack says that Bruce Bickford (a famous claymation animator known for his surrealist art style) was a big inspiration.

A lot of the music that Jack listened to growing up were also a big inspiration behind his music. Jack said that he listened to a lot of "campy alt" music from the 80s from his mother, and a lot of "good ol' dead and jazz funk" from his father. Jack also said that in high school, he used to listen to a lot of art rock and experimental pop

He initially started creating music on Soundcloud in early 2010,  and also joined an band known as Joose, where he became the lead singer.  

[bigkpopstan]

PEG HEE WOULD BE SO FUCKING HOT

IT WOULD, his reactions would be so priceless too 🥺. maybe rubbing circles into his hips while his moans are steadily increasing in octave and general loudness. now I’m picturing a needy hee pushing his hips back 🥲.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Grunge-Metal Geralt

Hi, im fucking trash for the idea of Geralt being the front man for a Five Finger Death Punch type band and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. This music genre is my bread and butter and I think Geralt’s repressed but highly emotional ass would fit right in. Yes im using another Hozier song, no i dont wanna hear anything about it. I’m a basic bitch and ive made my peace with it

Warnings: i honestly have no idea, its a little horny, little emotional, but theres no actual character interaction?, its at a concert venue? idk yall.

_________________________

Jaskier was… out of his comfort zone.

It’s not that he didn’t like the grunge-metal music, he just hadn’t listened to much and he was not used to the energy. People were yelling and screaming and the opener hadn’t even come on yet. He didn’t feel unsafe, far from it. Several people had checked to see if he was okay, seeing as he was the only person in the entire arena wearing a sweater that wasn't ripped or faded to hell. It was just a far cry from the shows he was used to. 

He played folky-blues. This was nothing like his shows. 

When the lights went down the crowd was deafening, all moving as one to rush the front of the floor, not giving a single fuck about tickets. 

The openers were exciting, and Jaskier was surprised by some of the concepts and messages behind the music. It wasn’t what he’d expected at all and he found himself searching them up on Spotify to listen later. 

Then came The Witchers. 

Eskel and Lambert made their energetic entrance, followed by Aiden calmly walking to his drums and sitting as if he were walking into a college class. But Geralt was nowhere in sight. The one person Jaskier had actually come to see. 

He’d seen a video clip from a previous concert where they covered one of his songs, and he was praying they’d do it again. It was lovely in a haunting-almost-threatening way, and the expression in Geralt’s posture alone was enthralling. He had to see it live. 

But Geralt was still absent as the band started to build a song. First Aiden with the beat, then Eskel’s bass, then Lambert with a melody on his electric guitar. It built and built and built to a fever pitch, taking the crowd with it. People were already jumping and screeching. Jaskier had to stand on his seat to see the stage clearly. 

Geralt’s voice echoed through the venue, low and closer to a growl than singing, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

Jaskier thought he’d been prepared, but his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He briefly wondered if this was what his friends were feeling when they listened to ASMR.

Geralt remained hidden for the whole first verse, getting the crowd even more excited than Jaskier thought possible, only for the band to go completely silent for a whole measure. When the crowd's screams reached their absolute loudest, Geralt dropped from on top of one of the jumbotrons, landing on one of the horse-sized speakers before launching into the chorus. 

Oh fuck, he was even more beautiful in person. 

He was… well he was a beast of a man. Jaskier really didn’t have another word for the way his muscles bulged and how lithe and powerful he looked springing from the speaker to join his bandmates on the main stage. His thighs filled out his black, tattered jeans and there were clear faded spots where his muscles strained the fabric too often. The thin black tank he wore did nothing but pretend the man was semi-modest. It was so tight, the only thing left up to the imagination was tan lines and the color of his nipple piercings. 

Jaskier was most entranced by his long, white, wavy hair falling past his shoulders. As the show continued and he started to sweat, a lot, it got curlier and curlier at the root. Jaskier wanted to give him a mask and some curl cream, but only after a, uhm, rough night of getting to know each other. He’d heard rumors about Geralt from hitting arenas not long after they’d left. He was quite sure they’d have a great time.

As he focused on the lyrics more and more, he was more inclined to want to wrap Geralt up in a hug and worship every part of him until he felt whole again. 

Either he’d been shown the shitty side of the genre, or The Witchers were exceptions to the rule of content. Jaskier was almost moved to tears a few different times.

Finally, about an hour into Jaskier mindlessly feasting his eyes on the front man, Geralt leapt onto another speaker and sat down, breathing hard and grinning from ear to ear. 

“You still with us?”

The unholy screech from the crowd left no doubt they were just as excited, if not more so, than when they’d arrived. 

“Good! Good..” he trailed off, chuckling as he lowered the mic to take a breath, “We’re gonna slow it down for a minute,” he leaned forward and held the mic away as Eskel shouted something up at him to which he laughed and flipped him off. 

“As I was saying, we’re gonna yearn for a minute or two and do a cover. Song by Jaskier called ‘Talk’.”

The crowd lost their shit again, various pride flags popping up throughout the stands. 

Geralt chuckled and raised his combat boot, showing off the bi flag colored treads, earning another round of screams. If this is what the grunge-metal scene was like, Jaskier had been missing out his entire life. Sure his fans were sweet and supportive and loving when he’d come out. But this was electric and feral and completely addictive.

Lambert struck the opening chord to Jaskier’s song and the crowd settled to a gentle hum, setting the tone immediately, as if they all knew exactly what was coming. 

Geralt closed his eyes as he tapped his thigh with one finger, keeping time before his rumbling baritone hit Jaskier like a freight train. 

“I’d be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found…”

Jaskier could have collapsed right there. He knew he was staring like a lovesick idiot, but hell, everyone around him was too. When the chorus hit and Eskel came in with a heavy bass line he nearly fell off his chair. Geralt’s intensity raised with the addition of the backup but he didn’t move. He stayed seated, swaying slightly, with his eyes closed as he crooned out the words Jaskier had sobbed as he wrote, broken hearted and miserable. 

It was surreal. 

Sure he’d seen other covers. Sure they’d been lovely. But he wanted to listen to this and only this as he fell asleep for the rest of his life. He’d never play it again if he could only hear it one more time. 

After the last verse Lambert launched into a guitar solo while Geralt jumped off the speaker and meandered to the center of the stage to slot his mic back in it’s stand. He gripped it like a lifeline when Lambert held one last note for as long as his instrument would allow and only started singing the last chorus when it was almost silent. 

“I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you”

His expression looked hopeless and utterly desperate as he crooned out the last two lines. He let his hair fall to cover his face and Jaskier could just barely hear his panting breath over the sound system as the crowd exploded. Geralt tipped his head back and took two deep breaths before straightening up and getting on with the show but Jaskier was stuck. 

He was vaguely aware of someone taking a picture of him, but he really couldn’t care less. The fact that Geralt moved right on to a song called ‘Burn Motherfucker Burn’ didn’t matter either. 

Jaskier jumped down from his arena seat, whipping out his phone and sending the band a tweet, because apparently that’s what musicians did now?

“Record it. Please. It’s either that or sing me to sleep every night. You choose.”

He stayed for the rest of the show and walked to his car in a haze. Before he backed out of his spot he checked his phone like always and his heart nearly stopped at the two top notifications. 

One public reply: “Both? -G”

And one direct message: “If you’re still here and want to grab a drink, I’m just backstage.” 

[junicai]

shivers.

| order no. | 2/21

| summary | Aria suffers the consequences of her own actions when she takes it upon herself to continue filming when sick.

| word count | 1.4k

| warnings | none

| era | circa. February 2020

Music videos are an extension of the song they portray. They are designed to emphasize and carry out any underlying messages that the songwriters have embedded in the lyrics - to give them more meaning, and to make them easier to spot and understand.

Rain rooms were a common enough feature in shooting a music video; especially with the rising popularity of heartbroken ballads in the western media. These songs were typically sung by crooning women, clad scantily in sheer white fabric that clung to their figures wetly, drenched by the water that rained from the ceiling above.

Aria was no such exception.

The thin, flimsy material of the cotton dress she’d been given to wear for this shot was going to provide her little to no barrier against the frigid water that was going to be pouring down her back in a little over three minutes.

With a final pat of a large blush brush dusting over the apples of her cheeks, she was set free from the make-up chair and ushered towards the set. A singular table was set against a grey backdrop, the ceiling dry for the time being.

With her hair roots suitably shook up for volume by a stylist's nimble fingers, Aria made her way to sprawl herself as daintily as she could over the fake wood while still trying to retain a modicum of her own decency.

With her head flung back, and her eyes closed, a shutter sounded, and the skies opened.

In reality, it couldn't have been more than a couple of seconds, nothing more than to just get her used to the feeling, but Aria resurfaced gasping, sitting back up with eyes squinted closed as she had to refrain herself from wiping the water away - less she rub the mascara into her skin.

"God that felt like I was being waterboarded."

Her comment sent a wave of laughter around the room, giggles coming from the corner where the cameras were set up.

A small tremor ran down her spine, but Aria hid it quickly with a cough and a shift in her sitting position. Her now wet dress stuck uncomfortably to her legs, and she grimaced at the cool feel on her skin.

"Ok! Let's run it again." The director's call came from the opposite side of the room, where she was stood behind a monitor, watching carefully.

Aria nodded dutifully, and moved back to her sprawled position again; this time taking more care to not lie in such a way that left her face overly exposed to the downpour.

They took the clip, six, maybe seven times.

The first few were stopped midway due to positioning changes, and the next one because she coughed lightly after choking on the water when it ran into her mouth by accident.

By the time filming came to a close, Aria was cold, and wet, and miserable. She had started shaking profusely the second she'd slid herself off the table, bare feet meeting the tiled flooring and toes curling at the biting feeling.

Her lips had taken on a blue tinge beneath the red rouge that had rubbed off over the duration of the last hour, and her fingertips mirrored that colour as they moved frantically up and down her biceps to try and put some heat back into her frigid skin.

Aria was still quivering lightly in the oversized jacket when she stepped out of the van and back into the dorms, toeing off her shoes at the entrance before immediately making her way into the kitchen.

A warm cup of tea to cradle between her icy fingertips sounded perfect, exactly what she needed. But unfortunately, her plans were thwarted by a rather tall man leaning against the counter top.

Johnny took one look at Aria's now almost purple lips, and raised an eyebrow.

"So do we need to go find someone who's been wearing blue lipstick? Or is that just the latest trend that I've missed?" He teased, pushing himself to wrap Aria in a hug.

She sank willingly into his embrace, curling up against his chest in an attempt to chase the warmth that he offered. "N-no, I'm just. C-cold. That's all."

Johnny tilted his head down to look at Aria without pushing her away. "You feel like a little icicle."

"M'cold." She whined, increasing in pitch when Johnny stepped away from her. "No! Come b-back you're warm."

He chuckled at her when she pulled the collar of her jacket up to her nose to retain the whisper of body heat that he'd given her. "Two seconds, Ari. I'm just going to get Tae."

Aria's head snapped up. "Why?"

"Because we've had conversations about not speaking up when you're uncomfortable during filming before, but apparently we're going to need to have another one. And, he can make better tea than I can."

Aria winced. "C-can it not, not wait? Til, t-tomorrow maybe?"

Johnny's eyes softened when he looked at her small form. She'd pulled the hood over her ears to hide her still damp hair prior to entering the dorm, but the small beads of moisture on her forehead were telling of a growing fever that came inevitably from being doused in freezing water for an hour.

"I'll see what I can do, kiddo. No promises though."

With that, he disappeared into the hallway, and Aria wandered her way into the living room where she plopped herself onto the couch and tugged a cushion into her lap to cuddle.

Stupid body getting cold and getting her in trouble. Stupid. Should have just warmed her up again. Stupid homoeostasis, or whatever it was. It was stupid.

A hand landed on her shoulder, stroking softly. "Hey, ice baby."

Aria tilted her head back towards Yuta's gently smiling face. "M'cold." She repeated, scooching over on the couch to make room for the man to sit down.

Yuta opened his arms in invitation, and Aria went willingly, burrowing herself in his chest. She sighed lightly at the warm comfort that his hoodie material offered, and pressed her cheek against his arm.

A clink of a mug alerted to Aria that there was someone - no, two people - in the kitchen, and soon after, Taeyong emerged with a steaming mug of tea in his hands with Jaehyun trailing after him, arms laden with blankets.

"T-thank y-you," Aria's teeth were chattering at this point, and Taeyong looked on in worry. A back of a hand was placed to her forehead, and he winced.

"Hyuck, would you mind grabbing the red pill bottle from the cabinet under the sink? The one that's full, Doyoung restocked it a couple days ago."

Donghyuck moved back into the hallway with an affirmative, and Aria looked up to Taeyong. "I don't, m'not sick. Just c-cold. I'll be f-fine."

Mark slid into the open space on the other side of Aria, placing a hand on her leg. "Love you, and everything. But shut up."

He received a thin glare from Yuta for his words. "She's sick, don't be rude."

"I said I loved her!"

"And then you told her to shut up!"

"M'not sick."

Taeil emerged from the doorway waving his hands with Donghyuck following quickly behind him. "I have medication for the invalid?"

"M'not sick!"

Yuta hushed her, tucking her head back into his chest. "We know, baby. You're not sick. But you're going to drink your tea and take a fever reducer and then go to bed okay?"

"But-"

"You can sleep in my room!" Jungwoo chirped up from the oppisite couch. Honestly, Aria didn't know when he had arrived, didn't know when half of the people in the room had arrived, but all of a sudden, she was surrounded by all the members of 127.

Aria shrunk back slightly with all of their eyes on her.

"M'not sick." Her voice was weak; a final hurrah.

"Here." Doyoung handed her the mug of tea that had cooled slightly. "Drink your tea."

[avinaccia]

A Completely Objective and Logical Ranking of Every Hetalia Character Song

New character songs are dropping,  I have too much time on my hands, let’s go. 

Also here’s a Youtube playlist for the ~✨nostalgia✨~

Bring it on in the tags 

71. Ah Legendary Class⭐The Awesome Me Highway [Prussia]: Absolutely tearing it up on the drums and on the vocal cords alike (I pray for Atsushi Kousaka). Great for the memes. 

70.  Happy Thoughts Museum [???]: This is listed as an official song but I had literally never heard of the title. Then I listened to it and BAM! Smack back to 2013 watching the teasers for the show on Funimation. Not sure I’d count it as a character song though...

69. (Nice)  My Song that is written by me for me [Prussia]: Deafened me but I can appreciate the industrial grind.

68.  My House is...Quiet. ~With the Trolls~ [Norway]: I have never heard this song, nor can I find any version of it online. By default it goes here and I am so sorry Norge.

67.  Make a Wish to Santa♪ [Sealand]: The discordant notes and childish exuberance only serve to make this sound like a demonic plea to Santa to eliminate the singer’s enemies.

66.  Heaven and Hell on Earth [Rome]: Rome sounds like he’s been in the corner of a restroom. Extra points for the metal version, minus points for the fact that the beach scene was replayed like 1764 times.

65. Canada Complete Introduction [Canada]: Quiet af until Kumacheerio shows up and blows out your speakers. they did you dirty my darling 😔

64.  It’s Easy!!! [America]: I don't think any video of this has ever stayed up for more than 20 seconds. Sounds cool, but like I was listening to 20 different genres at once, someone make him calm down.

63.  Bù Zàiyì the Small Stuff ☆ [China]: I cannot for the life of me find the complete song anywhere, clips have a cool beat though

62.  Let's Boil Hot Water♪ [Italy]: Exactly what it says on the tin..though a bit too close to elevator music for my tastes.

61.  The Fragrance of Early Summer [Japan]: Very ‘from the books’ Japan-esque song

60.  Peace Sounds Nice…[Baltic Trio]: All well and good until the radio demon shows up

59.  W●D●C ~World Dancing~ [America]: How a song can sound like it’s from 4 different decades at once is beyond me

58.  Overflowing Passion [BFT]: This is just drunken karaoke and I have 0 clue what’s going on #iconicforallthewrongreasons

57. Ren●Ren●Renaissance♪ [Rome+Chibitalia]: Wholesome Grandpa with Grandson content - barring the fact that Italy sounds on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Rome has had too much wine.

56.  Roma Antiqua [Rome]: Similar energy to any one of China’s songs - there’s a part of the song where it sounds like he’s singing in the shower, and I will never not laugh at [CENSORED]

55.  Country From Where the Sun Rises, Zipangu [Japan]: Very chill, very Japan, but just meh for me.

54.  Moon Over Emei Shan [China]: Good message, okay song.

53.  My Friend [England]: What a mind palace you must have Mr. Kirkland

52.  With Love, from Iceland [Iceland]: Three words: Heavy. Metal. Puffin.

51.  Having Friends is Nice...♫ [Russia]: Russia is the cutest thing ever

50.  Mm. [Sweden]: Smooth transition from WWE Smackdown to shopping at IKEA.

49.  Why don’t you come over? ~Beyond the Northern Lights~ [Iceland]: I don’t want to be mean but...this does sound like the second closing theme to an anime whose first closing was much more popular (à la Soul Eater)

48. Gakuen☆Festa [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Sounds like a 60s song of the summer but oh dear their voices do not go together. Hella cute though.

47.  Wa! Wa!! World Ondo [Main Cast]: One time I travelled 10 hours in a coach bus with a bunch of teenagers to a city of note in my country, and the only souvenir I bought was the fucking PAINT IT WHITE DVD. Perfectly chaotic, UN ĐĕùX~~

46.  In the Bluebell Woods [England]: In the album cover for this song he’s holding a guitar but this is not a rock song. Still has ‘running through the hills’ levels of dramatism though.

45.  Poi Poi Poi♪ [Taiwan]: You’re telling me that Taiwan, someone whose has *ONE LINE* in Beautiful World (which is criminal tbh what kind of representation-) managed to get an eNTIRE CHARACTER SONG???????

44.  White Flame [Russia]: There’s something to be said for a song that is 3x the length of any Hetalia episode

43.  Ich liebe… [Germany]: Baking cakes for your friends has never been so wholesome.

42.  We Wish you a Merry Christmas [America, China, England, France, Russia]: Nice to see they’ve gotten their shit together since United Nations Sta-hmm.

41.  Ah, Worldwide à la mode [France]: Sounds like a Disney Princess song, hard not to picture France frolicking in a field of flowers.

40.  Che Bello! ~My House is the Greatest!⭐~ [Italy]: Would not be out of place in an advertisement for Sea World.

39.  May You Smile Today [Japan]: THE feel good song of the summer

38.  Let’s Look Behind the Rainbow [Italy]: I will protect you.

37.  I'm your HERO☆ [America]: “Anyone who’s sad or sullen will be arrested” did NOT age well.

36.  Mein Gott! [Prussia]: Alternating headphone effect at the beginning is cool, so is the confidence...the actual singing on the other hand...

35. Nihao⭐China [China]: Listen, all of China’s character songs are great, I just can’t vibe with this one like some of the others.

34.  Pechka ~Light My Heart~ [Russia]: I’m still having difficulty wrapping my head around the fact that this and Winter were released at the same time.

33.  Pukapuka⭐Vacation [Germany, Italy, Japan]: Seems just a bit too much like they’re running on a treadmill that’s picking up speed and trying to sing at the same time. Peppy.

32.  Santa Claus is Coming to Town [Germany, Italy, Japan]: This is unironically the best song sung by this trio; can only vibe with for two months out of the year though.

31.  Excuse Me, I Am Sorry [Japan]: Japan’s character traits speedrun. Gives me barbershop quartet vibes for some reason but is catchy as hell.

30.  The Story of Snow and Dreams [Russia]: A superhero anime opening in the making

29. England’s Evil Demon Summoning Song [England]: Sir that is not how you roast a marshmallow, don’t cut yourself on that edge.

28.  Moi Moi Sauna♪ [Finland]: Exactly the type of song you’d expect and it’s wonderful

27.  United Nations Star⭐ [America, China, England, France, Russia]: This isn’t as much of a song as it is a four minute struggle for everyone to sing without America yelling every 5 seconds...Like a particularly musical episode of Hetalia.

26.  Paris is Indeed Splendid [France]: Paris-pa-pa-pa-paris

25.  Absolutely Invincible British Gentleman [England]: Poppy, rocky, polka-dotty

24.  Vorwärts Marsch! [Germany]: To quote the comment section: “This sounds like a German version of I’ll Make a Man out of you.” There’s some truth to that.

23.  Hamburger Street [America]: The product of America’s rapper phase. 8/10 because he’s trying so hard and because I can unironically sing along to all of this.

22.  Hoi Sam☆Nice Guy [Hong Kong]: A song that would absolutely destroy the ankles of anyone in DDR.

21.  I Am German-Made [Germany]: There was once a version that had Germany and Prussia singing at the same time and it sounded positively demonic and Broadway could never

20.  La pasión no se detiene ~Unstoppable Passion~ [Spain]: Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping...

19.  Fall in Love, Mademoiselle [France]: Sounds like it should be in Mozart Opera Rock, I have kiss kiss falled in love.

18. Embrace the Très Bien Moi [France]: This is the definition of SELF LOVE PEOPLE. 

17. Carrot and Stick [Belarus&Ukraine]: Absolutely DRIPPING in 2000s power ballad energy. The type of song that plays on repeat in the mind of the widow whose millionaire husband ‘mysteriously disappeared’ (and the only legit character song ever acknowledged by the anime)

16. C.B.C (Cowboyz Boot Camp) Vol. 1 [America]: AH MAH GAWWDDD

15. Winter [Russia]: Heavy metal fever dream and the perfect song for an angst-ridden teenager

14.  Seychelles Here ⭐ Vacation Island [Seychelles]: UN👏DER👏RA👏TED SONG👏OF 👏THE 👏SUM👏MER👏

13.  Nah, it will settle itself somehow [Romano]: One day I aspire to reach this level of chill

12.  Let’s Enjoy Today [England]: I will never not feel happy when listening to this.

11.  Einsamkeit [Germany]: Ludwig manages to air every single one of his worries about not being good enough compared to his friends and always being perceived as mean or uptight when he’s actually just a softie and now my heart hurts. 💔

10.  Aiyaa Four Thousand Years [China]: A very poignant and beautiful song about the passage of time and the inevitability of its passing; comparable to an ancient ballad complete with explosive crescendos and meaningful lyrics.

9.  Bon Bon Bon❤️C’est Bon C’est Bon! [France]: Peppy, cheerful, adorable, groundbreaking; has been my alarm tone for six years and I’ve yet to tire of it. 9/10 The moaning interspersed throughout has been an interesting wake-up call.

8.  Let’s Enjoy! Let’s Get Excited! Cheers! [Denmark]: This is on par with Everytime we Touch by Cascada in terms of rage potential unlocked (the good kind)

7.  Dream Journey [Japan]: Whoever’s playing the shakuhachi is absolutely KILLING IT. Dramatic, wonderful, great metaphors.

6.  Gourmet’s Heart Beginner Level [China]: Absolute banger, I’m a vegetarian but this would inspire me to eat shumai.

5.  Always with you...Nordic Five! [Nordic FIVVVVVEEEE]: Everyone harmonizes beautifully except for Denmark. Extremely catchy, number placement seemed appropriate. 

4.  Pub and GO! [England]: I love this trash man

3. Maji Kandou⭐Hong Kong Night [Hong Kong]: If you thought Denmark’s song was a banger JUST YOU WAIT. I WILL BLOW OUT MY SPEAKERS LISTENING TO LO-HA-SU.

2. Steady Rhythmus [Germany]: THIS SONG IS METAL AF. Seriously, if it can be classified as ‘hardcore’ by my father and his group of 50-somethings who have decided to single-handedly gatekeep the metal and hardrock genres, it can do anything.

1.  The Delicious Tomato Song 🍅 [Romano]: Beautiful, absolutely awe-inspiring, poignant, catchy lyrics with an extremely deep meaning that only years of meticulous research and analysis can unlock, Romano I love you.

BONUS: Closing Songs

5. Hatafutte Parade (World Series) 

4. Hetalian⭐Jet (The World Twinkle): The song is good, the dancing is cursed 

3. Chikyuu Marugoto Hug Shitainda (World⭐Stars)

2. Marukaite Chikyuu (Hetalia: Axis Powers): nE NE PaPA

1. Mawaru Chikyuu Rondo (The Beautiful World)

[59writes]

SEVENTEEN- SCENARIO: HAVING AN ALT PARTNER (PERFORMANCE UNIT)

VOCAL • HIP HOP • PERFORMANCE

Last but most definitely not least, the boys with the moves 🙌🙌

again! don’t be shy, feel free to reach out or request!! I’d love to have some anon buddies lol. I promise I’m nice haha!!

also hi Jun’s is about kandi I had to self indulge a little lol (which is why it’s so long omg) I make kandi and it’s literally the best pastime and the culture around it is super cool too so I had to add it in haha!!

🌈🌈🌈!!!PLUR!!! 🌈🌈🌈

tw: food maybe (?)

JUN

• you guys met on complete accident

• he was walking to the company, you on your way home

• and he bumps into you and one of your bracelets hooks onto his bag and it snaps

• you’re both shocked by the sound, watching the beads bounce into the street while people shoved past you both, glaring at you both for blocking the way

• and even though Junhui is late he stoops down to pick up the beads

• you stop him quickly

• “don’t worry, I have more beads at home”

• and he’s like “wait woah you made this” because it’s intricate and pretty and a little pixel art cat that he accidentally ruined ):

• but he feels so bad, and wants to pay you back somehow cuz the bracelets are so cute and he broke one!!! he cannot get over it!!!

• even when you assure him it’s fine he looks so concerned you have to give in

• so you give him your number, telling him to text you when he can and you can work something out

• and at the company he considers it all day

• he, an idol, just got a number from someone on the street. all because he messed up and then insisted to be in your life

• was this a good idea?

• Seungcheol hears about it eventually, and says to give it a chance

• “your friends are in another country, Jun. make some here too. plus you’re stressed, and it’s probably best to get any weight off your shoulders you can.”

• and so he texts you

• and plan to go to a cat cafe (his treat) on his next day off

• when he walks into the cafe you greet him with a beaming smile

• “I have a gift for you.” You grin, pulling something out of your bag

• and like, Jun almost disagrees, like “no I’m supposed to be apologizing to you” but then be sees what you’re offering

• a little cat bracelet just like the one he broke the other day

• he reaches out for it but you shake your head

• “there’s a special way to do it, here.”

• you give him a rundown on the style of bracelet, called kandi

• and you explain they’re meant to be traded

• “and there’s a secret handshake to trade with, ok? just do what I do.”

• peace, love, unity…

• and he’s suddenly holding your hand

• you slip the bracelet onto his wrist before letting go, grinning as he examines his new accessory

• “I’m y/n, by the way.”

• “Junhui.”

• you chat and play with the cats that come to visit your table

• you take off one of your kandi rings at one point and gently loop it around one of the kittens’ paws

• Jun hasn’t had this much fun in a while, much less been in such a positive environment

• as you were bright and cheery as you made kissy noises at the cats to offer them snacks

• always had something new to say or observe

• and when it was time to leave he really didn’t want to go

• you don’t either, but you have an appointment you can’t miss

• so you promise to do it again soon, giving Jun a quick hug and a wave before dashing off

• Jun can’t keep his eyes off the bracelet as he goes back to the company, running his fingers along the peyote weave

• he spends the rest of the night reading about kandi and kandi kid culture

• and everyone involved is so happy, and their bracelets?? like holy shit.

• he thought yours was good but some of these people had massive and intricate kandi

• the next time you meet, he asks if you can teach him how to make kandi

• and your face lights up!!

• the next few meetups he learns, little by little

• passing the bracelet to you if he can’t get part of it right

• and he just keeps getting surprised by your patience when you have to undo rows, your bubbly spirit calming a bit as you focus on a pattern

• and one day you invite him to a rave

• and yo he’s so nervous ??? but he wants to go so bad ???

• you promise him you guys can leave it early, because eventually you get overwhelmed too

• so he agrees

• you meet at your apartment, Jun shy as you flit around and drape him with more kandi

• you ask him to sit still as you paint a tiny design on his face in UV paint, hand resting on his jaw to keep him still

• and when you gleefully spin him around to look at himself in the mirror he’s just. wow.

• a line of heart stickers on his cheek, a necklace made from kid toys draped around his neck, and of course, endless bracelets

• this was so cool.

• the rave was even better.

• Jun got used to the flashing lights and eccentric music very quickly, mostly following behind as you greeted people and traded bracelets

• and then you turn and pull him out to the dance floor

• and that shit is like a fever dream.

• adrenaline, glitter, and neon lights fill your veins as you both dance for hours

• eventually too tired to keep up, you fall into Jun’s arms, laughing

• and he’s grinning too (:

• you leave shortly after that, walking home in the dark

• you stop to sit at a park bench, and Jun says he has a surprise

• he holds out his hand

• peace, love, unity, respect

• and slips a bracelet onto your arm

• he did it completely himself, as you’d never seen the design before

• it’s of a cat with a rainbow tail, along with his name spelled out in pixels

• and you look up at Jun, whose eyes are filled with anticipation

• and you give him a huge hug

• and he thanks you for showing him this diverse underground world full of color in the night; a way to break out of his shell a little

• and damn I guess you can’t help but hold back an “I love you”

• and he feels the glitter surge back into his veins

• and the feeling never leaves again (:

HOSHI

• Soonyoung always thought photographers were more likely to stay out of the lens’ view, but you proved him wrong

• when you introduced yourself as his photographer for the magazine shoot you were working on, he couldn’t help but feel like you should be in front of the camera, not him

• like holy shit. the beads and chains that engulfed your arm and shimmered in the dim lights. the clips nestled in your hair that were shaped like cartoon spiders. the patches for bands he’d never heard of on every square inch of your camera bag.

• he’s polite and energetic the whole shoot, and to be honest maybe you take a little longer than usual to line up closeups of his face

• after all he deserves the best photos (:

• once you’re finished you agree to meet again at Pledis the next day, just to review the photos

• and Soonyoung spends the whole night hyping himself up lol

• you look just as cool as the day before, if not better, and he manages to compliment you without a problem (practice pays off!!)

• he wants to see more of your photos, and you offer him a ticket to a portfolio viewing you’re having

• he shows up without telling you, taking his time to walk through the gallery and examine each photo

• and they’re so dynamic, perfectly balanced, mysterious. he can’t help but get lost in each one, not even noticing you staring at him

• you, heart warm from his wonder and genuine interest

• he was soon a common subject and reviewer of your photography

• and you were soon a common staple of his, Soonyoung trying to be with you at every opportunity

• he invites you over for movie nights with the other guys

• if you show up in your usual outfits he whines about how you’re all pokey and he can’t lay on your arm without getting stabbed ):<

• luckily you own soft sweatshirts that still look super cool so it’s a win/win

• he’s so adoring of everything you do omg

• every interest of yours is now his interest too

• and he’ll always be by your side, curious and wide-eyed, always ready for the next adventure with you

• whether it be through clothes, or photos, or even just the park

• you’re what makes it special (:

MINGHAO

• dude. he’d lose his shit in the best way possible.

• have you seen this man??? his sense of style??? he’d be drooling in seconds lol

• you’d catch him watching you as you intern at Pledis, sketching up scenes in the corner

• finishing your degree required film to turn in, and you managed to snag an internship with the production crew for Seventeen

• a successful music video for a major group would definitely save your grade lol

• every dance practice, you’d be in the corner, wedged against the mirrors, huddled over your sketchbook as you designed

• and of course you watched them dance, you had to encapsulate the emotion somehow

• during a water break, one of the members plops down next to you and introduces himself as Minghao

• his hair is damp with sweat, sleeveless shirt clinging to his chest

• and he asks to see your ideas

• the concept is focused on the ideas of identity, and your current plan was sketches of each member as the background

• you could animate them slowly turning into each member, and you explain the idea to Minghao as he very gently flips through the pages, fingers hardly touching the pages

• he lingers on his own page

• “you didn’t sketch anyone else’s face this detailed.”

• “you’re pretty.” You say simply, reaching for the book back

• he grins at his lap.

• he sits next to you every day now, always eager to see your designs

• but more often he wants to see your other works

• and when you tell him you and your friends made most of your clothes he’s dumbstruck

• “can you make some for me?”

• you laugh and he apologizes for being so straightforward

• but the next day you bring in a trench coat you’ve been illustrating

• cutting diamonds into the sleeves and lining them with neon thread

• the half-finished painting on the back your friend started working on

• and as you proudly explain the coat’s background Minghao can’t help but want to join in too

• the way your face lights up when you speak about it, how gently you fold the fabric, how you adjust the collar on him so it looks just right

• eventually you begin to hang out outside of the company

• and you take him to craft stores when you need supplies or new clothes to ruin

• and he has such a good eye oh my god

• and his long fingers pick up sewing so easily

• and many hours are spent on your apartment floor quietly snipping, painting, lacing

• minghao wears his clothes with pride, especially the ones you make for him

• you go out one day, both of you completely dressed in your own designs

• and Minghao has never felt this beautiful before

• and when he sees your outfit he can’t help but wrap you in a huge hug

• he’s proud: of himself, of you, of the creativity and passion and hours put into these clothes

• and he admits he’d like to keep that feeling around a lot more

• and so your time in the city becomes a date

• and behind the music video sets becomes a spot to hide and snuggle

• you still sketch him sometimes

• when he doesn’t notice

• when he’s too focused on choreo, or reading a book, or laughing at the other boys goofing around

• because you’re proud of him, too

• and when he sheepishly admits he’s been doing the same, pushing over his own sketchbooks filled with endless drawings, improving page by page

• you know he’s your other half.

DINO

• Dude he’d be so flustered

• he straight up would just. not know what to say and would probably be defensive whenever you talk to him so he might come off as rude ):

• it would take time for him to warm up to you

• but when he does it’s clear he can’t get you out of his head

• as a choreographer, you had to spend a lot of time with the performance line

• and in this case, specifically Chan, as he has a solo

• and just seeing you look so damn rad even when you’re slowly walking him through potential choreo,,,, homeboy is gonna break down and try and defend himself

• the first few days are awkward because he’s drawn back and a little hostile

• but you force him to get lunch with you after a particularly rough morning, just to try to have a better relationship

• you guys didn’t finish the choreo that afternoon, choosing to sit on the studio floor and talk

• the next day he’s still quiet, but shyly rather than defensively

• and he can’t seem to get his arms right, and you have to go over there and straighten his arms for him, rings digging into his biceps

• and even though he tries to hide his grin you know it’s what he wanted

• eventually your job is done and you’re ready to head to the next performer, or go plan choreo for another group

• and Chan shuffles up and even though his cheeks are red he manages to ask you out

• and how could you say no?

[shemakesmusic-uk]

K-pop soloist Chung Ha has released a poignant music video for her new single ‘Killing Me’. The visual follows Chung Ha as she tries to move on from a bad breakup. It opens with her seeming looking forward to a new day, before she is swept into a world of heartbreak as she is reminded of a former lover. The singer attempts to party her pain away with friends  But by the end of the video, Chung Ha ends up sitting sullenly on a couch as her heartbreak takes over once again, while the party continues to rage on around her. “It’s killing me, killing me / Every day is a long tunnel / Again, I’m exhausted by the endless darkness,” she sings on the EDM-inspired pop song. [via NME]

FKA Twigs has unveiled a new video for recent single ‘Measure Of A Man’ featuring Central Cee . First released earlier this month, the clip for ‘Measure Of A Man’ features exclusive footage from the upcoming film, The King’s Man. The Diana Kunst-directed video sees FKA Twigs wield a sword against a demon-like figure while Central Cee raps against a red backdrop as FKA Twigs dances behind him. The track, which takes on a theatrical tone, posed a challenge for Twigs, who said in a prior statement: “This song has such a different sound, which is a challenge; you’ve got to really embody the song. For me especially with my vocals, I had to pull a different side of my artistry out.” West London rapper Central Cee added: “What I listen to when it comes to trying to find beats is something theatrical, it needs to sound like a movie. And that’s exactly what’s going on with this song, it sounds like it’s made for a movie regardless.” [via NME]

Witch Fever have a video out for track ‘Bully Boy'. The concept for the video was The Witch Trials but for drag queens and CBeebies. Violent, but in a cartoonish, over the top, completely unrealistic way, with watermelons and balloons being stabbed. It ends with the band being burnt at the stake with paper flames. Taken from their debut EP Reincarnate which came out digitally last month, ’Bully Boy' is a steel toe-capped boot to abuse of male power, which considers the concept of God within a patriarchal system.

Peckham, London based band Black Bordello release new single 'Drones' and announce their new EP White Bardo, out March 2022 via Hideous Mink Records (Opus Kink, Fake Turins, Body Horror). With inspirations ranging from PJ Harvey and Björk to Aphex Twin and David Bowie, Black Bordello's carnivalesque blend of art-rock, punk, jazz and Turkish psychedelia is a wholly unique aural experience. Written during lockdown 2020, (somewhat illegally) in a basement underneath a closed pub, 'Drones' opens with a theatrical descending bass line, before erupting into a roar of magisterial brass, fizzing synth runs, and frenzied percussion. Discussing the initial inspiration behind the track, vocalist Sienna Bordello said: "The idea for 'Drones' came about after I watched a documentary about a Drone pilot. He was a gamer who had been headhunted by the US military and recruited into the military workforce. He was given a gaming station with Xbox-like controllers and vintage screens which showed simplistic colours, much like the platform arcade games of the 80s and 90s. He was given missions like ‘cut the grass’, ‘trim the weeds’, ‘tidy this area’. After his service was done, he suffered PTSD when the realisation that he’d been controlling the distribution and attack of drone missiles on civilians sank in. I thought of this as an interesting subject matter for the song, namely because we were in a global pandemic and all life as we knew it had been halted, yet at the same time the UK and US (amongst others)  governments had put more money into military than ever before, and had recruited more troops to attack parts of the middle east throughout our so-called ‘international emergency’. I was gobsmacked that they were passing needless military operations whilst the world was distracted by the pandemic. Every person in this situation is a puppet, but who is pulling the strings?"

KRISTEENYOUNG shares a brand new single entitled 'Life Kills.' 'Life Kills' is the first song and single from the upcoming KRISTEENYOUNG album, The Beauty Shop (due March 2022 via The Record Label). The Beauty Shop is a song cycle based on the life of a serial killer, with each song taking on one major emotion. But, really, it’s about how life can kill our emotions and asserts that everyone is part victim/part perpetrator. 'Life Kills' is based on the emotion of rage. Young wrote, arranged, produced, co-mixed and played almost every instrument on the album, as well as designed and made the album art and visuals (including clothing). And 'Life Kills' is no exception. Young wrote, arranged, produced and co-mixed (co-mixer was Tony Visconti) 'Life Kills.' She played every instrument except guitar which was played by renowned avant-guitarist, Don DeVore (Collapsing Scenery). The bass was played by legendary producer/bassist, Tony Visconti. The song eschews genre but features her signature dissonant piano bashing, operatic vocals, tribal beats, and incisive lyrics. Young shot and edited the video herself, and designed/made all props and wardrobe. Most of the video was shot at location, Renditions (beauty salon) on Highway 66 in St. Louis, Missouri in October 2021. Some footage was also shot at Magic Touch Auto Spa in Lodi, New Jersey.

Constellation is pleased to announce a new artist, Kee Avil, and debuts the stirring video for Kee Avil's new single, 'See, my shadow.' Led by Montréal producer Vicky Mettler, Kee Avil combines guitar, voice, electroacoustics and electronic production to create song assemblages that teeter on the edge of collapse while oozing forward, like sticky resin picking up and shedding disparate elements along the way. Kee Avil evolved from playing guitar with broken cymbals and drumsticks to forging askew tempos and templates glued together by samples of screws dropped into crystal bowls. "A shadow’s moment, distorted. Warped piano samples, chipped ceramic cups, swirling metal, feedback assembled. I used to think this was a love song. Constructed from a demo, never finished, originally recorded for the Kee Avil EP. 'See, my shadow' is one of my most produced songs – a large part of the work was to strip it down and find the right balance between chaos and density vs stability and drive. It will be the first song on a new album. Writing this I find myself trying to find a reason why I would "stand here blind, deaf and mute" – ultimately the words are there for their rhythm, imagery and texture. The text for the ending was written in one moment, intense but fleeting, later adapted. The meaning of the song changes all the time – fittingly, it’s as though this moment has been passed on to my shadow. To reveal what I’ve hid, what is recognised, ignored, what is real. Blank, misdrawn, rebuilt, the creature as the i. With masks, I break and reconstruct these ideas, mix the familiar with the abstract."

Brussels-born, world-raised, Berlin-based, singer, songwriter and artistic director K.ZIA shares the breathtaking new music video for her latest single ‘I Got Your Back’. The track follows the release of previous singles ‘Sanctuary’ and ‘JFMB’, and is taken from her upcoming debut album Genesis, set for release on February 11, 2022. On her brand new conceptual album, K.ZIA brings forward her rich Universe and introduces two sides to her persona: K.ZIA who emulates light, warmth, passion and emotion and sings in English, and ZIA, her darker, bolder, intoxicating alter-ego who sings in French.  Effortlessly blending elements of alternative R&B, soul, Pop, trap and afrobeats with K.ZIA’s captivating vocals, ‘I Got Your Back’ showcases K.ZIA’s effortless and natural gift for storytelling. Drawing from her combined influences, K.ZIA thrives on being able to experiment with the emotions and feelings she’s able to convey through her music.  Speaking of the track, she says: “'I Got Your Back' is a song close to my heart. Dedicated to one of my closest and longest friends, It’s a song of comfort for the ones among us who suffer from depression. Life can feel so lonely at times, depression is a subject we don’t often talk about but touches so many. It’s ok to need some time off, it’s okay to feel a certain type of way. The last 2 years have been heavy on a lot of us and this song is a warm hug from a distance to make sure you know that whatever happens, I got you.”

Minneapolis artist and musician Frances Priya Anczarski released her new album as FPA, Princess Wiko, in November via 37d03d. Described by FPA as "the story of a young woman of noble birth forced to betray her heart, and marry a man she hardly knows, all the while going down the slow path of self discovery," it's a gorgeous album, full of lush soul and accented with electronic touches. There's also a new video for album track 'Last to Bloom,' a moody, candle-lit visual directed by Brendan Lauer and Ariana Bailey. "'Last to Bloom' is the final chapter of our story," FPA says. "It's about self-actualisation during what seems to be the end of the world. The rebirth of Princess Wiko has come, but nobody is left to witness, and nothing surrounds her but death and ash. ‘The leaves are all but wilted all but gone.’” [via Brooklyn Vegan]

Boston based singer-songwriter MAYA LUCIA shares her latest indie-pop single ‘ur ruining it !’. The single is accompanied by a bright and bold music video. Garage-Pop singer-songwriter MAYA LUCIA is the queen of hearts. Having spent the last five years bouncing between the Pacific and the Atlantic, the Minneapolis native pulls DIY sounds from both sides of the coast. Her distinctive vocal styling and angst-ridden lyrics effortlessly float between punk, pop, and surf-rock. Her next EP is due Spring 2022. Speaking of the music video, MAYA says, “Jack (Campise) and I have worked together previously on my music video for ‘sadgirl (rip moviepass)’. We met our freshman year of college before I transferred schools and have been friends ever since. Together, we created the idea of a reunion of sorts after the pandemic. We drew from the film Boogie Nights and their use of tracking one-takes to create the flow in the music video. A lot of our close friends were part of the music video and doubled as cast and crew mates, which made it very special.”

Los Angeles-via-Georgia singer/songwriter Katelyn Tarver recently released her stunningly beautiful new album Subject To Change on November 12. Now, she shares the all-too-relatable video for ‘Year From Now,’ a folk-infused meditation on the healing power of time.

On the music video for 'Maybe It’s Me,' mesmerising Brisbane act Pipin dons clown makeup. Aside from being visually intriguing, it’s also an insight into the multifaceted nature of the song, and the artist herself. On 'Maybe It’s Me,' we receive ecstasy and surrender. A radio-friendly kit shimmers along with a cute synth that teeters between major and minor chords, adding depth to an otherwise innocent pop structure. “Socks pulled off your toes, freckles on your nose, talking about someone I don’t know”, Pipin sings gorgeously, painting a vivid image of tension bubbling underneath a bright blue sky. Next comes the head-swaying hook, which gets stuck in your ears after just one listen. It’s a testament to Pipin’s captivating, idiosyncratic songwriting. “Maybe it’s me, I could be happy, I could be everything that I am not”, Pipin manifests, over the bubbly production work of real-life partner, Hugh Middleton. No wonder the sound and melody are so in-sync. You can sing along gleefully, celebrating a new chapter, or sing along ironically, remembering the weight of consequence that inspires such an epiphany. Both are feasible. The music video also contributes to this wondrous exploration, as Pipin performs in front of flashing, brightly coloured backdrops, both immersing and disorientating the listener. [via Happy Mag]

Parisian riser November Ultra has shared her new single 'le manège'. Out now, the single completes a memorable 12 months for the bedroom pop newcomer, whose DIY tactics have brought huge online success. 'le manège' pivots once more, with November Ultra discussing "endless love" while absorbing new sonic aspects. Melding together vintage R&B, Millennial pop, and the Spanish musicals she heard from her grandfather, 'le manège' seems to shift and evolve across several different planes. She comments... “This song is about endless love, about loving someone so much that you love them wrong, about being constantly close to short circuit. The beginning of the song pays tribute to Maurice Sendak's children's tale Max and the Maximons and this sentence pronounced by one of the monsters: "I'll eat you up I love you so'. This is what we wanted to show in this video, this carousel, a universe stuck between the real and the unreal. The beginning of the song is soft, light, a dream-like waltz. The little outdated but beautiful idea that we have of love and relationships when we grow up watching musicals. Then, the more the clip progresses, the more what we found beautiful becomes strange, as if it was going off the rails. The same scene repeats itself in a loop, the carousel gets stuck, like a movie you've seen so much that the film gets scratched, the dialogues scratch and everything that seemed beautiful, sweet and cute gets distorted, glitchy, and offers a new reading. Going from the mountain to the little volcano.” [via Clash]

Basel/London-based pop singer Emilia Anastazja just released her colourful new EP Flower House, bringing some warmth to the cold autumn days. With influences ranging from 070 Shake and Jessie Ware to Mary J. Blige and Whitney Houston, those sonic touch-points can be distinctly heard within Emilia's creations. New single and EP title track 'Flower House' was written in the aftermath of her previous home being torn down to be replaced by a new block of "overpriced apartments". A colourful amalgam of 90's inflected R&B and effervescent electro-pop, Emilia opens proceedings with a quiet admission of acceptance: "I‘m in the mood for taking what‘s good in my life / The more you pull down, the more I look up to the sky" before the track opens up into its soaring chorus. Speaking on the release of new single 'Flower House', Emilia said "The lyrics are talking about my reflections and memories of an apartment block that I used to live in with my best friends which was demolished in front of my eyes. It was a whole community of artists living there and we always had an open door for everyone and the rent was almost for free. The house was demolished because the state decided to build some more overpriced modern apartments there. This home holds a special place in my memory and is often a place I look back to as the last real place I could call home. I wanted to express both my anger and my fantasy to “Burn” down what now stands in its place."

Moonchild Sanelly has unveiled the music video for her latest single 'Covivi'. Released at a time when it could not be more relevant, the message of the single and music video is a plea for the pandemic to end so that people can enjoy the outdoors, especially leading up to the festive season. The video speaks to a huge party culture in SA where celebrations are shared with friends and memories created through music and dance. With SA facing a new wave and variant of the pandemic, the video will bring positive energy during this lockdown phase. “I am super excited about 'Covivi' visuals dropping because it is literally us having a conversation with the one person/thing that has been blocking us from grooving because we want to save our lives but our bodies want to dance. So I am having a serious conversation asking Covivi to open the doors because we want to dance”, says Moonchild. [via Times Live]

Doja Cat embarks on another spaced-out adventure in the new music video for 'Woman,' a track off her latest album, Planet Her. The clip was directed by Child, and it finds an intergalactic queen being warned of an imminent threat to her throne before conjuring the most powerful weapon she has at her disposal: Doja Cat. Admittedly, the narrative plot gets kind of lost from there, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the clip isn’t lacking in eye-popping visuals, futuristic costumes, and expertly choreographed dance sequences. [via Rolling Stone]

The dynamic duo of Charlotte Adigéry and Bolis Pupul have shared yet another bop of a track off their upcoming Soulwax co-produced album Topical Dancer, entitled 'HAHA'. Previous singles 'Thank You' and 'Blenda' further established their knack for subverting the platitudinous into quick-witted critical commentary. It also helps that Adigéry and Pupul possess the productional smarts to make any living soul prance around like a complete fool. 'HAHA' doubles down even more on Adigéry’s signature lyrical minimalism: in fact, there’s but one hook, and a great one at that: “Guess you had to be there”. The song samples Adigéry’s burst of laughter, expertly and infectiously laced in between the song’s slinky electronic beat, in a way putting a modern spin on eighties luminaries such as Yello and Jean-Michel Jarre. Obviously, this is a song of suggestion rather than one of confession, though some hints of its backstory might be found in the offbeat musical video. The commentary the two artists have given remains just as cryptic: “a visual shorthand for unhatched potential”.  We’ll leave it for you to unwrap whether this is allegorical or a creative exploration of an inside joke. Undoubtedly, it’s fun as heck. [via Beats Per Minute]

[bonnienapierfilm]

film adaptation update + reflection

post production

chapter 1: bonnie and avid - from strangers to friends

The only experience I had before beginning to edit this project, was my old iMovie days, avid online classes [which took place in the fever dream that was first year] and 'Lethe' [if I have to see that girl in a hospital bed ever again, I will cry]. So yeah, little experience. But I have always been keen to try and edit more, so I'm glad I put myself forward for this! And I actually feel a lot more familiar with Avid now... it turns out if you just practice using something you get better at it - who knew?

I started editing scene 8 [the beach scene] first, only because I was so excited to piece together our beautiful clips. I hope to learn more about the theory behind editing - do you have to edit in order or does it not matter? After playing around with scene 8, I edited the film chronologically, which I think is smart? I felt the process was smooth and editing this way aided me in pacing our scenes, but I have time to learn so much more about editing so I do not stress.

I did a lot of recording the screen on my phone to send to the group for feedback. I now have many videos on my phone of a Mac screen and the shushing of a Peer Bear in the background. I did want the group to see what I was working on, but I think I was also doubtful of my work and needed feedback every step. However, the group held my hand and encouraged me along the way, which was greatly appreciated.

After some tubing [of the you kind], I found videos on ratio changing in Avid. I played around with the timing of the change from 4:3 to wide screen [I feel silly, I don't know the numeric size for this?!], and spent ages matching our shot of the beach landscape to Joanna and Sue dancing on the beach. I felt so very professional and proud when I got it right, "look at me go!" my brain chanted.

Overall, I learnt a lot about avid and editing in general over the past month. I definitely want to widen my knowledge and keep practicing.

chapter 2: sunshine, lollipops and rainbows - exporting, colour grade and sound

Export, exporting, exported. I don't think I can say much more more about this. I wasn't present whilst Eva and Katie did the colour grade but they worked their magic, it looked lovely. Particularly making the sky look similar to the landscape, pinks were poppin'. I know it was difficult for Katie to grade the window to make the light match the room but she did a fabulous job.

Now onto sound. My heart goes out to Orla, she worked so hard on the sound edit and it payed off massively. When writing the script, I wanted to provide as many opportunities as possible for Orla to be creative with sound, like having conversations outside the room, hallucinations etc. Our composer, Arina, who we met upon a chance encounter, gave us beautiful music for the film - really bringing it all together. I can't say much about the process, but I know a lot of work was put in and I was delighted to have Orla doing sound.

Katie drew up some fancy credits for us and myself and Orla put them all in. After watching the film over and over and over and over, alas, I was happy to submit for the crit...

reflection

Once again, I was sweating, shaking and shitting it. I get very nervous in our crits... what if no one likes the film? what if my editing ruins it? did I hold on that shot for too long? yes. what if everyones film is so much better? It's a panic I think we all feel. I thoroughly enjoy watching all the films we have made, and I don't doubt everyone feels the same, no competition just cooperation :)

When rewatching on the big screen, I picked up on a few things. I hold on some shots too long and others not long enough, I doubt this is a realisation I could have only made when watching it enlarged, but I hadn't noticed when editing in screen academy. But in the future, I will make sure to get second opinions on the length of shots.

When getting our feedback, I had taken up some paper and a pen to take notes, however due to stress I turned it into a paper aeroplane instead. So from what I remember...

SCRIPT - Kate had complimented by period writing, which I was chuffed about as I have never written a period drama. So my first go wasn't terribly received! :) I think overall, some off my dialogue would have been more effective had they been delivered differently. No hate to our actors!

SOUND - Our levels were a little low, which caused confusion with dialogue and flow. However, this is something that can be easily fixed! So not much stress about this.

LIGHTING - Andrew was impressed with the lighting... well impressed that we had tried to create sunlight without sunlight. I understand the criticism, our lighting was very harsh sometimes. I think that light, especially golden hour, can be that harsh, however as we have clearly tried to recreate it, it doesn't work as well. Maybe putting more baking paper over the lights to dim them would have worked.

CAMERA - Some of our shots were shakey. I knew this when editing, I did try to use a stabiliser however it warped Eva's pretty shots and made them look weird, so I decided against it. With our final landscape scenes, I do remember on the shoot we had went between rig/no rig. I think a tripod could have worked however we were trying to achieve a sort of shakey shot to imitate Joanna's pov. Some of our shots were a bit tight, I think when shooting our close-ups sometimes we forgot that I was also going to be cropping to 4:3.

EDIT - Joe really liked our ratio change, commenting that it followed the period drama vibe. Yay! Andrew mentioned that some shots lingered and some cut short, which I knew and will keep in mind for future projects.

PRODUCTION DESIGN - Our costumes weren't exactly true to the time, however with no budget and little time, I think we did the best we could. The floral bedsheets were brought up, which I was dreading because I had noticed but thought it would be fine. Shoulda said something!

I hope I haven't missed anything.

I agree with everything criticised in the crit. I have learnt so much about filmmaking through The Last Landscape, especially working collaboratively. I liked how our roles were somewhat fluid throughout, we helped each other when it was needed and open to notes/criticism. I actually don't think I'd change anything about our film, other than little hiccups in edit/sound/camerawork. In terms of self-improvement, I will learn more about editing so in future projects I don't feel so worried about it being bad/nonsensical.

I feel a little sad that film adaptation is over. Nothing about the process felt like work, just fun... with maybe a smidge of stress.

I will miss group six [no dix]. You are all very talented women and I could not have asked for a better group to make a gay period drama with <3

+ ben + adam xx

[bvlnoriyas]

ateez kingdom storyline

absolutely no one asked for this but here we are. also, i make maybe one really big stretch in here but it's okay, we're having fun even tho i want to be right

every single stage is a different ateez (except wave overture. i like to think wave overture is the first attempt that from the wonderland tried and then failed so they needed a do-over). the common thread that we see between every stage is both the cromer and halateez.

halateez is helping the different ateez out in all of the various dimensions. we know from the fever part 2 diaries that halateez was able to escape the government with use of the cromer. they're also a group of people who want to achieve a common goal, why wouldnt they want to see all versions of themselves succeed?

we also know from the fever part 2 diaries that halateez/regularteez lost the cromer. arguably, the end of the rhythm ta stage (where hongjoong breaks the cromer out of it's glass) is before everything else (even the rhythm ta stage). in from the wonderland, presumably, hala-hongjoong gives the cromer to his pirate self so they can defeat the kraken. then, halateez helps rhythmteez break into the museum (?) and stage a riot.

halateez helping other ateez's is supported by hongjoong's rap in answer: ode to joy where we can see halateez giving pirate-yunho the sword, pirate-seonghwa the gun, and rhythm-yunho the mask. they're basically the masterminds behind making sure every version of ateez reaches their "treasure."

i'm gonna just skip and ignore plot points that i don't have full answers to but basically, answer: ode to joy seems to fill in the gaps in the answer music video. if you take the beginning clip and the ending clip, that's basically this stage. the android giants, halateez, and regularteez are fighting (for the cromer and suppression of emotions most likely). Luckily, they seem to win! unfortunately, if we look back at the music video, it looks like an android giant survived so, bummer.

i have a reason for yeosang being in that box but it involves him being bait and im p sure that's a huge stretch so that's an idea for another time

also, i have 0 idea how the real could possibly fit in, at the moment it sounds like an extension of fireworks and ateez being edgy so we'll see how they twist it on thursday ig

[leejungchans]

random juliet moments.

(a/n: this will probably be updated regularly as i think of more things to add!! i tried to organise these chronologically to the best of my ability but there may be some inconsistencies, so apologies in advance!!🤍)

started crying when she saw yunho cry at their first fansign

when hongjoong forgot to say “dul, set” and said “8 makes 1 team” alone, san and juliet coincidentally said “1 makes 1 team” to clown him and they looked at each other like 👁👄👁

when san backwashed into his bottle of cola and hongjoong unknowingly drank from it which made her go 👁👄👁 and she made san pinky-promise that he wouldn’t do that to her

when felix, chan and somi hugged her when ateez got their first win on m countdown

when she wrote another one of their iconic instagram live “please leave” signs in her pretty cursive handwriting

she really said “𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓋𝑒 ❤️” 😭😭😭

when that one australian interviewer asked “if you don’t have any sexiness or charisma like me, what do you do then?” and she half-jokingly went “yeah, that’d be tragic”

cried at their concert in sydney and couldn’t sing for the remainder of the song they were performing because she was crying so much

said “sorry, this is his mission, i’m just here for moral support” when the employees at the pharmacy heard her speak fluent english and asked her to translate for mingi during ateez treasure film

(disclaimer: i’m pretty sure mingi mentioned in a v-live that the producers (?) of ateez treasure film told him to exaggerate the mission for entertainment purposes. so this is in no way trying to make fun of anyone’s english, and is intended to be light-hearted. as someone whose mother tongue isn’t english, and is currently learning a fourth language, i can say with full confidence that learning other languages is really, really hard and i’m so proud of the boys for their english!! in conclusion, mingi english king and mingi bestest boy!! 🥺)

climbed the sydney harbour bridge with seonghwa and mingi for the former’s mission

when they all went to juliet’s house in sydney to have dinner with her family during ateez treasure film; she also saw her cat in person for the first time in years and teared up because it had grown a lot

also cried during the confessional activity on the beach while filming ateez treasure film and clung to seonghwa and yunho for the rest of the activity

reacted to the ateez meme song with hongjoong

“ateez meh-meh song?” pls he’s so cute

*dying in the background* “MEME song” 😭

laughed for 5 minutes straight after seeing yunho in his thor costume

showed off a hydro flask that she customised during a v-live before going “sksksksksksksksk”; this moment went viral on stan twitter

eating fairy bread and toast with vegemite during a v-live

making the boys and their staff try vegemite

san: “ewwwww!”

“yAH! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EAT A SPOONFUL! THAT’S NOT HOW YOU EAT VEGEMITE!”

almost said “fuck” once during a v-live with wooyoung and he immediately slapped a hand over her mouth

“everyone, i apologise on her behal—JULIET WAS THAT YOUR TONGUE DID YOU JUST LICK MY HAND”

after joking about choosing a leader for the ‘99 line on idol radio, the djs asked juliet what leader she was, and she teasingly replied that she was the leader of k-pop’s “aussie line”; felix later brought this up in a v-live with chan to clown her

when it was time to shoot her solo scenes for the music video for answer no one could find her and everyone panicked until they found her curled up in a corner sleeping

was close to snapping during a group v-live because of the hate comments and didn’t bother masking her irritation towards the end; jongho had to pat her head to subtly calm her; this was the first time atiny’s ever saw her angry on camera and realised how scary she could be

when a few atiny’s brought juliet flowers during a fansign which made her incredibly happy for the rest of the event, so now atiny’s bring her flowers all the time

was so focused on eating during a v-live that she was completely oblivious to some of the boys quietly watching her eat adoringly

when an atiny told her that they hadn’t eaten yet at a fansign and she asked them to pinky-promise that they would eat something after the event

almost lost her shit with san when seonghwa rapped on weekly idol

covering “someone you loved” on weekly idol which went viral

almost died laughing when they sang “wonderland” in spanish on hello82

fangirled over basically every artist during mama 2019; clips of her just having the time of her life went viral and many asked about “the girl in the boy group who was jamming out”

when san almost gave her a heart attack by spinning the gold play button; she was still very impressed

rounded up all 8 of her members to sing “thank you” to them during “thank u” at their seoul concert and make them all emotional

during the same concert, she accidentally whacked herself over the head with her mic when waving to fans and went “ ᵃ ʰ ”

she’s babie :(

randomly asked “toes for fingers or fingers for toes” during a v-live and the other members looked at her like 👁👄👁 for a good minute

got very passionate about having fingers for toes being better than having toes for fingers

“how will you even find shoes that are big enough?” “custom shoes, duh🙄”

almost died laughing during san and mingi’s round in the “scream in silence” game during their v-live

nearly lost her cool from playing the “scream in silence” game with yeosang

“yOU I D I O T”

made friendship bracelets for herself, the boys, and some of their staff members on an episode of juliet’s archive; they can all be seen wearing the bracelets frequently

when she couldn’t attach the wristband to her lightiny and asked seonghwa for help, but he couldn’t do it either so they looked at each other in exasperation for a few seconds before deciding to give up together

wore her huge platform boots in a v-live so she could be taller than hongjoong, much to his dismay

when she tried to show her boots off by lifting up her leg, she forgot she was wearing a dress; seonghwa immediately panicked and moved in front of her to shield her from the camera, not knowing she was wearing shorts underneath the dress

watching seonghwa’s birthday v-live in the corner with san

when their staff brought out a “cake” that was built from packets of timtams for her birthday v-live and it made her so happy she almost cried

reacted to hongjoong’s cover of “black or white” during a solo v-live and teared up

when an atiny asked her to help with their maths homework during a v-live and she said “uh...i’m probably the last person you’d want to ask...”

cried during an inception music show performance because she got so into the performance; it scared atiny’s until she went on v-live explaining what happened

helping yunho expose san on weekly idol

when she imitated seonghwa’s “num-num” and did the “ottoke” song on weekly idol and made everyone on and off set soft for her

when her and wooyoung both lost it when yeosang sucked on a piece of radish on weekly idol during a game

when she said “i have the only braincell in ateez” and was almost immediately clowned by atiny’s who made compilations of moments when she acted questionably

“jeez, you guys didn’t have to come for me like that”

said “wow, geography king” when yunho said “thank you, scandinavia” for his “thanxx” acoustic poem during idol live tv

during a game on idol live tv, she caught wooyoung and yeosang copying the answer to the number of days since ateez’s debut from atiny’s live comments and subsequently changed her answer, unbeknownst to them

when even san didn’t want her to eat the “detergent hwachae” he, hongjoong, yeosang and mingi made on studiok

she ate it anyways and it was instant regret

“we’re not friends anymore >:(” — to jongho on ateez fever road after hongjoong found the real key which was attached to jongho’s bag all along

was so scared when the masked man appeared during ateez fever road that she hid behind hongjoong and they freaked out together

but started laughing when the masked man “kidnapped” wooyoung

“if we let you have him you won’t come back for us, right?” “yAH! BAEK MINYOUNG!”

then did the “7 makes 1 team” chant with the others, excluding jongho and wooyoung after the former suggested “saving” wooyoung

was slouching in a chair in the background of an ateez log but immediately got up and sat upright once the cameraman came over to film her while pretending nothing happened

when one atiny showed their cat during a video call with her and she went “CAT :D”

when she went on and on about her coffee preferences and opinions during a solo vlive without realising, and wooyoung had to call her for her to realise that she had been ranting about coffee for five minutes straight 💀

when she was about to fight hongjoong for slandering mint chocolate chip ice cream

being an iconic legend when she was on the kpop daebak podcast with eric nam (and also fangirled over him)

dancing to what type of x by jessi with san and yunho during their kcontact 3 interview

“jessi-sunbaenim i love you!!”

(a/n: ajshakjska this is so long i’m so sorry 😔😔)

[ateezdata]

Hai, can you answer a few question about Ateez, i want to know them more. I hope i'm not bother you with my question. Thank you. What is Seonghwa's true personality?? Does he really a good, warm, soft heart person?? As what he always show in front of camera. Does each of them really close like family?? What is their natural skin colour without white washed, their eyes and hair colour?? That's all i think. I hope you wouldn't mind answer my question again.

Welcome to the fandom, new ATINY! I’ll try to answer you to the best of my abilities.

I will remind you that we only know as much about people as they show us; no one can say that they truly know who anyone is inside & out, celebrity or not. At the end of the day, they're human and don’t have any obligations to be 100% transparent with us fans, they’re just doing their job!

Now, onto your question: I think that most of them try to be as true to their real selves as they can, Seonghwa included! He does have a very serious persona on stage but that fact always depends on the type of performance and song any artist goes with, and we all know ATEEZ are strong performers that stick to more powerful and mature concepts rather than cute ones, but you'll definitely still see them all being giggly and smiling a lot in performances for songs like WAVE or FEVER! As for his personality in front of the camera in logbooks, behind clips and reality shows, I do believe he's being natural. Many rookies do seem a bit stiff (or dare I say, pretentious?) since it's weird to have the camera on you a lot and you try to be the best version of yourself, but since it's been over a year now, all of them have eased into their own personalities a lot more than before! He does appear to be the soft-hearted and kind person as shown to us, and the others seem very comfortable around him too, to get to know his and other ATEEZ members' personalities a bit more, you can look up profiles or guide videos!

All of them have been living and training together for a long time, but I don’t think I’m at any place to say that they are completely like family... they all seem to be on good terms with each other though! I just can’t recall if any member has said something along those lines before.

Natural skin tones? I lean towards Music Bank interviews the most, but it always depends on the lighting and the colour settings for each source video or picture so I don’t have a set answer for that question. Most people within Eastern Asia, South Eastern Asia and at times even Central to Western Asia generally have a yellowish undertone and are lightly tanned, but that’s from my observations with people I’ve actually met so again, I can’t say what the actual skin colour is because I’ve never met or seen ATEEZ in person. I think that their natural hair and eyes all are shades of brown though, as seen from predebut content!

I didn’t answer your questions from the other ask because so far we (the active admins of this blog) don’t know anything about any of the members past or current relationships. Things like their favourite shampoo or perfumes are subject to their personal preferences and I don’t remember anyone sharing these things!

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

📖 Wed 5 Feb 🎥

Louis tried to do an insta live and failed, well, not really but you couldn't really hear him and then he gave up and never came back and instead he posted a bts from the Walls video shoot in the desert right after. This did pretty much distract everyone from making fun of him, by offering excellent content with lots of banter and Louis flipping us off like three times. He knows what we like! Everyone (including Louis) is worked up about what kind of phone he uses, either with brand loyalty or because it might prove who's tweeting what (theory: he uses the android so you can tell which tweets are him vs LTHQ using iPhones). I hate brands and it doesn't tell us anything, I will give you that it's getting noticable how much this has been talked about by Louis but chances are that's just about it being something impersonal and thus harmless to banter about. We did learn that his label releasing the lyric video took his team by surprise though which is an interesting glimpse at behind the scenes action. Anyway the fan pushes to buy UK albums are at fever pitch with hard copies being gifted to every random address in the UK it seems, from the queen to various organizations. I just hope someone is also organizing to send packages full to Latin America and other places where pricing/shipping fees make it impossible for so many fans to buy merch! Anyway another day another signing, lots of cute fan pics (today- bizarre lighting but a high table to spare Louis' poor neck), plus an LTHQ streaming push and Niall joined in and said we should stream (no no it's not what you're thinking wait for it) ...Walls! Everyone was relieved he didn't say NTMY but don't worry 'presave No Judgement' is the new 'stream NTMY' anyway, for another day at least.

No Judgement is out midnight EST tomorrow and yes that's right, Niall's still busily promoting himself as well. He's posting daily teases with lyric bits for the new song (so far we've got "you can just be yourself" and "you can be whoever you like") and he tells us he "had an unbelievable day shooting something very fun" but that's it's NOT a music video and today we saw a clip of him in white tie!! What the hell is it NO ONE KNOWS. No Judgement though heh! Sorry I just can't stop laughing about how he's releasing another song that everyone's gonna say the title to him in interviews like 'hur hur pretty funny huh??' and he's gonna be so annoyed every time but like... did u learn nothing from Nice To Meet Ya??! You are bringing this on yourself Nialler.

Harry took a couple fan pics (with dude fans! his audience really has opened up to the GP have you guys noticed?) outside a theater in London. His book is visible in his pocket; he's reading an older novel about a gay man's closeting.

An Australian show aired a Liam interview covering the miserable Live Forever video shoot, fatherhood, weight loss, and band reunion talk, so uh not really what the fans are looking for there. His horse finally got to go to a competition the other day after a long period of inactivity to keep him safe from some kind of horse flu epidemic! Why doesn't someone ask him about that? Yes, that's correct, I would rather hear talk about horse flu than the average question poor Liam gets asked, those journalists should be ashamed.

[path-of-my-childhood]

Taylor Swift: ‘I was literally about to break’

By: Laura Snapes for The Guardian Date: August 24th 2019

Taylor Swift’s Nashville apartment is an Etsy fever dream, a 365-days-a-year Christmas shop, pure teenage girl id. You enter through a vestibule clad in blue velvet and covered in gilt frames bursting with fake flowers. The ceiling is painted like the night sky. Above a koi pond in the living area, a narrow staircase spirals six feet up towards a giant, pillow-lagged birdcage that probably has the best view in the city. Later, Swift will tell me she needs metaphors “to understand anything that happens to me”, and the birdcage defies you not to interpret it as a pointed comment on the contradictions of stardom.

Swift, wearing pale jeans and dip-dyed shirt, her sandy hair tied in a blue scrunchie, leads the way up the staircase to show me the view. The decor hasn’t changed since she bought this place in 2009, when she was 19. “All of these high rises are new since then,” she says, gesturing at the squat glass structures and cranes. Meanwhile her oven is still covered in stickers, more teenage diary than adult appliance.

Now 29, she has spent much of the past three years living quietly in London with her boyfriend, actor Joe Alwyn, making the penthouse a kind of time capsule, a monument to youthful naivety given an unlimited budget – the years when she sang about Romeo and Juliet and wore ballgowns to awards shows; before she moved to New York and honed her slick, self-mythologising pop.

It is mid-August. This is Swift’s first UK interview in more than three years, and she seems nervous: neither presidential nor goofy (her usual defaults), but quick with a tongue-out “ugh” of regret or frustration as she picks at her glittery purple nails. We climb down from the birdcage to sit by the pond, and when the conversation turns to 2016, the year the wheels came off for her, Swift stiffens as if driving over a mile of speed bumps. After a series of bruising public spats (with Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj) in 2015, there was a high-profile standoff with Kanye West. The news that she was in a relationship with actor Tom Hiddleston, which leaked soon after, was widely dismissed as a diversionary tactic. Meanwhile, Swift went to court to prosecute a sexual assault claim, and faced a furious backlash when she failed to endorse a candidate in the 2016 presidential election, allowing the alt-right to adopt her as their “Aryan princess”.

Her critics assumed she cared only about the bottom line. The reality, Swift says, is that she was totally broken. “Every domino fell,” she says bitterly. “It became really terrifying for anyone to even know where I was. And I felt completely incapable of doing or saying anything publicly, at all. Even about my music. I always said I wouldn’t talk about what was happening personally, because that was a personal time.” She won’t get into specifics. “I just need some things that are mine,” she despairs. “Just some things.”

A year later, in 2017, Swift released her album Reputation, half high-camp heel turn, drawing on hip-hop and vaudeville (the brilliantly hammy Look What You Made Me Do), half stunned appreciation that her nascent relationship with Alwyn had weathered the storm (the soft, sensual pop of songs Delicate and Dress).

Her new album, Lover, her seventh, was released yesterday. It’s much lighter than Reputation: Swift likens writing it to feeling like “I could take a full deep breath again”. Much of it is about Alwyn: the Galway Girl-ish track London Boy lists their favourite city haunts and her newfound appreciation of watching rugby in the pub with his uni mates; on the ruminative Afterglow, she asks him to forgive her anxious tendency to assume the worst.

While she has always written about relationships, they were either teenage fantasy or a postmortem on a high-profile breakup, with exes such as Jake Gyllenhaal and Harry Styles. But she and Alwyn have seldom been pictured together, and their relationship is the only other thing she won’t talk about. “I’ve learned that if I do, people think it’s up for discussion, and our relationship isn’t up for discussion,” she says, laughing after I attempt a stealthy angle. “If you and I were having a glass of wine right now, we’d be talking about it – but it’s just that it goes out into the world. That’s where the boundary is, and that’s where my life has become manageable. I really want to keep it feeling manageable.”

Instead, she has swapped personal disclosure for activism. Last August, Swift broke her political silence to endorse Democratic Tennessee candidate Phil Bredesen in the November 2018 senate race. Vote.org reported an unprecedented spike in voting registration after Swift’s Instagram post, while Donald Trump responded that he liked her music “about 25% less now”.

Meanwhile, her recent single You Need To Calm Down admonished homophobes and namechecked US LGBTQ rights organisation Glaad (which then saw increased donations). Swift filled her video with cameos from queer stars such as Ellen DeGeneres and Queen singer Adam Lambert, and capped it with a call to sign her petition in support of the Equality Act, which if passed would prohibit gender- and sexuality-based discrimination in the US. A video of Polish LGBTQ fans miming the track in defiance of their government’s homophobic agenda went viral. But Swift was accused of “queerbaiting” and bandwagon-jumping. You can see how she might find it hard to work out what, exactly, people want from her.

***

It was girlhood that made Swift a multimillionaire. When country music’s gatekeepers swore that housewives were the only women interested in the genre, she proved them wrong. Her self-titled debut marked the longest stay on the Billboard 200 by any album released in the decade. A potentially cloying image – corkscrew curls, lyrics thick on “daddy” and down-home values – were undercut by the fact she was evidently, endearingly, a bit of a freak, an unusual combination of intensity and artlessness. Also, she was really, really good at what she did, and not just for a teenager: her entirely self-written third album, 2010’s Speak Now, is unmatched in its devastatingly withering dismissals of awful men.

As a teenager, Swift was obsessed with VH1’s Behind The Music, the series devoted to the rise and fall of great musicians. She would forensically rewatch episodes, trying to pinpoint the moment a career went wrong. I ask her to imagine she’s watching the episode about herself and do the same thing: where was her misstep? “Oh my God,” she says, drawing a deep breath and letting her lips vibrate as she exhales. “I mean, that’s so depressing!” She thinks back and tries to deflect. “What I remember is that [the show] was always like, ‘Then we started fighting in the tour bus and then the drummer quit and the guitarist was like, “You’re not paying me enough.”’’’

But that’s not what she used to say. In interviews into her early 20s, Swift often observed that an artist fails when they lose their self-awareness, as if repeating the fact would work like an insurance against succumbing to the same fate. But did she make that mistake herself? She squeezes her nose and blows to clear a ringing in her ears before answering. “I definitely think that sometimes you don’t realise how you’re being perceived,” she says. “Pop music can feel like it’s The Hunger Games, and like we’re gladiators. And you can really lose focus of the fact that that’s how it feels because that’s how a lot of stan [fan] Twitter and tabloids and blogs make it seem – the overanalysing of everything makes it feel really intense.”

She describes the way she burned bridges in 2016 as a kind of obliviousness. “I didn’t realise it was like a classic overthrow of someone in power – where you didn’t realise the whispers behind your back, you didn’t realise the chain reaction of events that was going to make everything fall apart at the exact, perfect time for it to fall apart.”

Here’s that chain reaction in full. With her 2014 album 1989 (the year she was born), Swift transcended country stardom, becoming as ubiquitous as Beyoncé. For the first time she vocally embraced feminism, something she had rejected in her teens; but, after a while, it seemed to amount to not much more than a lot of pictures of her hanging out with her “squad”, a bevy of supermodels, musicians and Lena Dunham. The squad very much did not include her former friend Katy Perry, whom Swift targeted in her song Bad Blood, as part of what seemed like a painfully overblown dispute about some backing dancers. Then, when Nicki Minaj tweeted that MTV’s 2015 Video Music awards had rewarded white women at the expense of women of colour, multiple-nominee Swift took it personally, responding: “Maybe one of the men took your slot.” For someone prone to talking about the haters, she quickly became her own worst enemy.

Her old adversary Kanye West resurfaced in February 2016. In 2009, West had invaded Swift’s stage at the MTV VMAs to protest against her victory over Beyoncé in the female video of the year category. It remains the peak of interest in Swift on Google Trends, and the conflict between them has become such a cornerstone of celebrity journalism that it’s hard to remember it lay dormant for nearly seven years – until West released his song Famous. “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex,” he rapped. “Why? I made that bitch famous.” The video depicted a Swift mannequin naked in bed with men including Trump.

Swift loudly condemned both; although she had discussed the track with West, she said she had never agreed to the “bitch” lyric or the video. West’s wife, Kim Kardashian, released a heavily edited clip that showed Swift at least agreeing to the “sex” line on the phone with West, if not the “bitch” part. Swift pleaded the technicality, but it made no difference: when Kardashian went on Twitter to describe her as a snake, the comparison stuck and the singer found herself very publicly “cancelled” – the incident taken as “proof” of Swift’s insincerity. So she went away.

Swift says she stopped trying to explain herself, even though she “definitely” could have. As she worked on Reputation, she was also writing “a think-piece a day that I knew I would never publish: the stuff I would say, and the different facets of the situation that nobody knew”. If she could exonerate herself, why didn’t she? She leans forward. “Here’s why,” she says conspiratorially. “Because when people are in a hate frenzy and they find something to mutually hate together, it bonds them. And anything you say is in an echo chamber of mockery.”

She compares that year to being hit by a tidal wave. “You can either stand there and let the wave crash into you, and you can try as hard as you can to fight something that’s more powerful and bigger than you,” she says. “Or you can dive under the water, hold your breath, wait for it to pass and while you’re down there, try to learn something. Why was I in that part of the ocean? There were clearly signs that said: Rip tide! Undertow! Don’t swim! There are no lifeguards!” She’s on a roll. “Why was I there? Why was I trusting people I trusted? Why was I letting people into my life the way I was letting them in? What was I doing that caused this?”

After the incident with Minaj, her critics started pointing out a narrative of “white victimhood” in Swift’s career. Speaking slowly and carefully, she says she came to understand “a lot about how my privilege allowed me to not have to learn about white privilege. I didn’t know about it as a kid, and that is privilege itself, you know? And that’s something that I’m still trying to educate myself on every day. How can I see where people are coming from, and understand the pain that comes with the history of our world?”

She also accepts some responsibility for her overexposure, and for some of the tabloid drama. If she didn’t wish a friend happy birthday on Instagram, there would be reports about severed friendships, even if they had celebrated together. “Because we didn’t post about it, it didn’t happen – and I realised I had done that,” she says. “I created an expectation that everything in my life that happened, people would see.”

But she also says she couldn’t win. “I’m kinda used to being gaslit by now,” she drawls wearily. “And I think it happens to women so often that, as we get older and see how the world works, we’re able to see through what is gaslighting. So I’m able to look at 1989 and go – KITTIES!” She breaks off as an assistant walks in with Swift’s three beloved cats, stars of her Instagram feed, back from the vet before they fly to England this week. Benjamin, Olivia and Meredith haughtily circle our feet (they are scared of the koi) as Swift resumes her train of thought, back to the release of 1989 and the subsequent fallout. “Oh my God, they were mad at me for smiling a lot and quote-unquote acting fake. And then they were mad at me that I was upset and bitter and kicking back.” The rules kept changing.

***

Swift’s new album comes with printed excerpts from her diaries. On 29 August 2016, she wrote in her girlish, bubble writing: “This summer is the apocalypse.” As the incident with West and Kardashian unfolded, she was preparing for her court case against radio DJ David Mueller, who was fired in 2013 after Swift reported him for putting his hand up her dress at a meet-and–greet event. He sued her for defamation; she countersued for sexual assault.

“Having dealt with a few of them, narcissists basically subscribe to a belief system that they should be able to do and say whatever the hell they want, whenever the hell they want to,” Swift says now, talking at full pelt. “And if we – as anyone else in the world, but specifically women – react to that, well, we’re not allowed to. We’re not allowed to have a reaction to their actions.”

In summer 2016 she was in legal depositions, practising her testimony. “You’re supposed to be really polite to everyone,” she says. But by the time she got to court in August 2017, “something snapped, I think”. She laughs. Her testimony was sharp and uncompromising. She refused to allow Mueller’s lawyers to blame her or her security guards; when asked if she could see the incident, Swift said no, because “my ass is in the back of my body”. It was a brilliant, rude defence.

“You’re supposed to behave yourself in court and say ‘rear end’,” she says with mock politesse. “The other lawyer was saying, ‘When did he touch your backside?’ And I was like, ‘ASS! Call it what it is!’” She claps between each word. But despite the acclaim for her testimony and eventual victory (she asked for one symbolic dollar), she still felt belittled. It was two months prior to the beginning of the #MeToo movement. “Even this case was literally twisted so hard that people were calling it the ‘butt-grab case’. They were saying I sued him because there’s this narrative that I want to sue everyone. That was one of the reasons why the summer was the apocalypse.”

She never wanted the assault to be made public. Have there been other instances she has dealt with privately? “Actually, no,” she says soberly. “I’m really lucky that it hadn’t happened to me before. But that was one of the reasons it was so traumatising. I just didn’t know that could happen. It was really brazen, in front of seven people.” She has since had security cameras installed at every meet-and-greet she does, deliberately pointed at her lower half. “If something happens again, we can prove it with video footage from every angle,” she says.

The allegations about Harvey Weinstein came out soon after she won her case. The film producer had asked her to write a song for the romantic comedy One Chance, which earned her second Golden Globe nomination. Weinstein also got her a supporting role in the 2014 sci-fi movie The Giver, and attended the launch party for 1989. But she says they were never alone together.

“He’d call my management and be like, ‘Does she have a song for this film?’ And I’d be like, ‘Here it is,’” she says dispassionately. “And then I’d be at the Golden Globes. I absolutely never hung out. And I would get a vibe – I would never vouch for him. I believe women who come forward, I believe victims who come forward, I believe men who come forward.” Swift inhales, flustered. She says Weinstein never propositioned her. “If you listen to the stories, he picked people who were vulnerable, in his opinion. It seemed like it was a power thing. So, to me, that doesn’t say anything – that I wasn’t in that situation.”

Meanwhile, Donald Trump was more than nine months into his presidency, and still Swift had not taken a position. But the idea that a pop star could ever have impeded his path to the White House seemed increasingly naive. In hindsight, the demand that Swift speak up looks less about politics and more about her identity (white, rich, powerful) and a moralistic need for her to redeem herself – as if nobody else had ever acted on a vindictive instinct, or blundered publicly.

But she resisted what might have been an easy return to public favour. Although Reputation contained softer love songs, it was better known for its brittle, vengeful side (see This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things). She describes that side of the album now as a “bit of a persona”, and its hip-hop-influenced production as “a complete defence mechanism”. Personally, I thought she had never been more relatable, trashing the contract of pious relatability that traps young women in the public eye.

***

It was the assault trial, and watching the rights of LGBTQ friends be eroded, that finally politicised her, Swift says. “The things that happen to you in your life are what develop your political opinions. I was living in this Obama eight-year paradise of, you go, you cast your vote, the person you vote for wins, everyone’s happy!” she says. “This whole thing, the last three, four years, it completely blindsided a lot of us, me included.”

She recently said she was “dismayed” when a friend pointed out that her position on gay rights wasn’t obvious (what if she had a gay son, he asked), hence this summer’s course correction with the single You Need To Calm Down (“You’re comin’ at my friends like a missile/Why are you mad?/When you could be GLAAD?”). Didn’t she feel equally dismayed that her politics weren’t clear? “I did,” she insists, “and I hate to admit this, but I felt that I wasn’t educated enough on it. Because I hadn’t actively tried to learn about politics in a way that I felt was necessary for me, making statements that go out to hundreds of millions of people.”

She explains her inner conflict. “I come from country music. The number one thing they absolutely drill into you as a country artist, and you can ask any other country artist this, is ‘Don’t be like the Dixie Chicks!’” In 2003, the Texan country trio denounced the Iraq war, saying they were “ashamed” to share a home state with George W Bush. There was a boycott, and an event where a bulldozer crushed their CDs. “I watched country music snuff that candle out. The most amazing group we had, just because they talked about politics. And they were getting death threats. They were made such an example that basically every country artist that came after that, every label tells you, ‘Just do not get involved, no matter what.’

“And then, you know, if there was a time for me to get involved…” Swift pauses. “The worst part of the timing of what happened in 2016 was I felt completely voiceless. I just felt like, oh God, who would want me? Honestly.” She would otherwise have endorsed Hillary Clinton? “Of course,” she says sincerely. “I just felt completely, ugh, just useless. And maybe even like a hindrance.”

I suggest that, thinking selfishly, her coming out for Clinton might have made people like her. “I wasn’t thinking like that,” she stresses. “I was just trying to protect my mental health – not read the news very much, go cast my vote, tell people to vote. I just knew what I could handle and I knew what I couldn’t. I was literally about to break. For a while.” Did she seek therapy? “That stuff I just really wanna keep personal, if that’s OK,” she says.

She resists blaming anyone else for her political silence. Her emergence as a Democrat came after she left Big Machine, the label she signed to at 15. (They are now at loggerheads after label head Scott Borchetta sold the company, and the rights to Swift’s first six albums, to Kanye West’s manager, Scooter Braun.) Had Borchetta ever advised her against speaking out? She exhales. “It was just me and my life, and also doing a lot of self-reflection about how I did feel really remorseful for not saying anything. I wanted to try and help in any way that I could, the next time I got a chance. I didn’t help, I didn’t feel capable of it – and as soon as I can, I’m going to.”

Swift was once known for throwing extravagant 4 July parties at her Rhode Island mansion. The Instagram posts from these star-studded events – at which guests wore matching stars-and-stripes bikinis and onesies – probably supported a significant chunk of the celebrity news industry GDP. But in 2017, they stopped. “The horror!” wrote Cosmopolitan, citing “reasons that remain a mystery” for their disappearance. It wasn’t “squad” strife or the unavailability of matching cozzies that brought the parties to an end, but Swift’s disillusionment with her country, she says.

There is a smart song about this on the new album – the track that should have been the first single, instead of the cartoonish ME!. Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince is a forlorn, gothic ballad in the vein of Lana Del Rey that uses high-school imagery to dismantle American nationalism: “The whole school is rolling fake dice/You play stupid games/You win stupid prizes,” she sings with disdain. “Boys will be boys then/Where are the wise men?”

As an ambitious 11-year-old, she worked out that singing the national anthem at sports games was the quickest way to get in front of a large audience. When did she start feeling conflicted about what America stands for? She gives another emphatic ugh. “It was the fact that all the dirtiest tricks in the book were used and it worked,” she says. “The thing I can’t get over right now is gaslighting the American public into being like” – she adopts a sanctimonious tone – “‘If you hate the president, you hate America.’ We’re a democracy – at least, we’re supposed to be – where you’re allowed to disagree, dissent, debate.” She doesn’t use Trump’s name. “I really think that he thinks this is an autocracy.”

As we speak, Tennessee lawmakers are trying to impose a near-total ban on abortion. Swift has staunchly defended her “Tennessee values” in recent months. What’s her position? “I mean, obviously, I’m pro-choice, and I just can’t believe this is happening,” she says. She looks close to tears. “I can’t believe we’re here. It’s really shocking and awful. And I just wanna do everything I can for 2020. I wanna figure out exactly how I can help, what are the most effective ways to help. ’Cause this is just…” She sighs again. “This is not it.”

***

It is easy to forget that the point of all this is that a teenage Taylor Swiftwanted to write love songs. Nemeses and negativity are now so entrenched in her public persona that it’s hard to know how she can get back to that, though she seems to want to. At the end of Daylight, the new album’s dreamy final song, there’s a spoken-word section: “I want to be defined by the things that I love,” she says as the music fades. “Not the things that I hate, not the things I’m afraid of, the things that haunt me in the middle of the night.” As well as the songs written for Alwyn, there is one for her mother, who recently experienced a cancer relapse: “You make the best of a bad deal/I just pretend it isn’t real,” Swift sings, backed by the Dixie Chicks.

How does writing about her personal life work if she’s setting clearer boundaries? “It actually made me feel more free,” she says. “I’ve always had this habit of never really going into detail about exactly what situation inspired what thing, but even more so now.” This is only half true: in the past, Swift wasn’t shy of a level of detail that invited fans to figure out specific truths about her relationships. And when I tell her that Lover feels a more emotionally guarded album, she bristles. “I know the difference between making art and living your life like a reality star,” she says. “And then even if it’s hard for other people to grasp, my definition is really clear.”

Even so, Swift begins Lover by addressing an adversary, opening with a song called I Forgot That You Existed (“it isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference”), presumably aimed at Kanye West, a track that slightly defeats its premise by existing. But it sweeps aside old dramas to confront Swift’s real nemesis, herself. “I never grew up/It’s getting so old,” she laments on The Archer.

She has had to learn not to pre-empt disaster, nor to run from it. Her life has been defined by relationships, friendships and business relationships that started and ended very publicly (though she and Perry are friends again). At the same time, the rules around celebrity engagement have evolved beyond recognition in her 15 years of fame. Rather than trying to adapt to them, she’s now asking herself: “How do you learn to maintain? How do you learn not to have these phantom disasters in your head that you play out, and how do you stop yourself from sabotage – because the panic mechanism in your brain is telling you that something must go wrong.” For her, this is what growing up is. “You can’t just make cut-and-dry decisions in life. A lot of things are a negotiation and a grey area and a dance of how to figure it out.”

And so this time, Swift is sticking around. In December she will turn 30, marking the point after which more than half her life will have been lived in public. She’ll start her new decade with a stronger self-preservationist streak, and a looser grip (as well as a cameo in Cats). “You can’t micromanage life, it turns out,” she says, drily.

When Swift finally answered my question about the moment she would choose in the VH1 Behind The Music episode about herself, the one where her career turned, she said she hoped it wouldn’t focus on her “apocalypse” summer of 2016. “Maybe this is wishful thinking,” she said, “but I’d like to think it would be in a couple of years.” It’s funny to hear her hope that the worst is still to come while sitting in her fairytale living room, the cats pacing: a pragmatist at odds with her romantic monument to teenage dreams. But it sounds something like perspective.

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There were a total of five OSTs released for Gundam Wing (the fifth was dedicated to the music of Endless Waltz, which will not be covered in this post or this playlist). Caitlin asked if I (Cathy) would create a playlist of my favorites. I didn't think she expected I would also write a novel. But here we go.

Let’s listen to some of the music of Gundam Wing!

(All song titles will be described with their English name and also the strangely romanized Spotify name.)

There are three main categories of Gundam Wing OST songs: (1) shoot 'em up fighting tracks which usually feature loud riffs, drums, and blats and blares coming at you at the same speed and frequency of mobile suits firing pointlessly at the Gundams, (2) instrumental, orchestral songs meant for the intermission period of a ballet that was never written or performed, or (3) synthy stuff with saxophones that wouldn't be out of place in a dingy rainy bar scene of a tame movie from the 80s. Most of the really recognizable tracks are in the first OST. OST 2 tends towards less interesting instrumental waltz-like stuff, Sanq Kingdom ballroom music as I've termed it in my head. They're fine, tolerable pieces of music, but you don't hear them and instantly think "Gundam Wing." By the time you get to OST 3, you're digging into the really deep cuts of Gundam Wing OST tracks, some of which I don't remember being in the show at all. (OST 4 is almost entirely character songs.)

We open with two of the best OPs—nay, songs—to have ever been made, "Just Communication" and "Rhythm Emotion," both by TWO-MIX. "Rhythm Emotion" was not, as you may have imagined, a mid-season swap-out. It was only used for about 10 episodes, and you may have even forgotten what it sounded like until just this moment, but "Rhythm Emotion" is no slacker. With alien, wintery synths that make you feel like you're soaring through the sky and between enemy mobile suits, this is one of those songs you would hear heavily remixed for knock-off DDR machines in arcades for years to come. The breakdown is cheesy, overemotional, and yet gives me the same goosebumps I would feel, years later, when listening to Love Live's "Snow Halation." Its more accomplished older sister, "Just Communication," dates itself from its opening note, but it owns its place in time and history unapologetically. Timeless, instantly recognizable, and eminently singable, you could, as Caitlin says in Episode 1, play this in a karaoke room full of randos and you're guaranteed to have someone scream along. There are some songs that make everyone feel like the star of their own shounen anime when they hear it, and "Just Communication" is one of them. Turning it up full volume in your car is like blasting "Take My Breath Away" while speeding on a motorcycle with a leather jacket. You are invincible through all 4:20 minutes of this song.

After that, perhaps one of the most famous instrumental tracks from the series: "The Wings of a Boy that Killed Adolescence / Shisyunki wo Koroshita Syonen no Tsubasa." (That boy is Heero Yuy. I know you know that, but this OST makes it explicit with its last instrumental track, "Code Name Heero Yuy," which is just another version of this melody.) There are a lot of songs like this, fighting tracks that hurry along at a clip, heroic but a little bit anxious ("When the Dragon Swims / Ryu ga Oyogutoki...," "Break Out," "Scattering Left Light / Kakusansuru Zanko" which barely sounds like music and is clearly hoping to be the soundtrack to your next laser tag game). I want to call out among them "Mission Accomplished / Ninmu Suiko," which has a last half that is so tied in my head to the world of Gundam Wing that when I hear it, I am instantly transported. It's almost a letdown that it's just an OST track, because it builds up such amazing tension that it releases just as quickly. "Mission Accomplished" is a bridge between these energetic tracks and more headbang-y, hard metal type fight songs like "Use the Cloak of Darkness / Kurayami Karano Tsukai," one of my all-time favorite guitar riffs from the GW OSTs. A lot of OST 1 is full of this "Enter Sandman" type stuff, though you still get reprises in the later OSTs, like "Well-Planned Tactics / Butsuryo Sakusen." The back half of "Cloak of Darkness," though, is a completely different track, this time pure fascist military fantasy. A lot of OSTs were like this, two short BGMs together masquerading as a one- to two-minute track. I'm not sure if it was just more expensive to list out a bunch of 45 second tracks, or if Otani Kou just ran out of emo names for all of them.

One thing I didn’t realize until this project is that there are no less than five variations on Relena’s theme in OST 1 alone:

Soft Hair and See-through Eyes / Yawarakana Kami...

Inside the Girl's Heart... / Syojyo no Mune no Oku Niwa...

To Beauty, to Elegance, and to Noble-mindedness / Karen ni Yuga ni...

I Feel Like I Can Cross Even That Rainbow Bridge / Ano Niji...

As Relena Peacecraft / Relena Peacecraft Toshite

When you've heard one, you've heard them all, so I’m putting on "Soft Hair...,” the wonderfully 80s and slightly boozy "adult contemporary" version of it, completely with a Kenny G sax. The others feel much more pure and dignified, especially "To Beauty...," which I think of as "waltz music" as it shows up in many of the early series' ballroom scenes. ”Rainbow Bridge..." is a worthy remix/variant, and for another similar boozy 80s feel, also try "Coolheaded Bloodthirstiness / Reitetsu na sakki" from OST 1. While I’ve left most of this playlist in chronological album order, I’ve moved up "I Believed We'd Meet / Kanarazu Aeruto Shinji” from OST 3. This track is not particularly noteworthy to me, but I leave it here as an example of how even later in the series, Otani Kou makes references to this refrain, even if it's not played note for note.

Because like any good soundtrack, Gundam Wing reuses themes and motifs. "Searching for Peace Buried Amid the Corpses / Shikabane ni Umoreta..." and "That Clown Doesn't Need Make Up for Tears / Sono Doukeshi..." share the same melody, only one is a fighting song and another is a mourning song. I actually like the rendition in "Hourglass of a Sad Color / Kanashimi-iro no Sunadokei" (also from OST1) better, but while "Hourglass" is a straightforward BGM track, "That Clown..." shows off one of the more interesting aspects of the Gundam Wing OSTs: its frequent blending of synths, cheesy sax, and more classic orchestral strings. You can hear it in second half of "That Clown...", but also in tracks like "Unknown Pressure / Michi no Pressure," or OST 3's " Behind The Scenes of The Blackout / Anten no Butaiura de," which is a typical "woe is me" orchestral track that is for some reason constantly interrupted by digital "beep boop" mumblings. Without that blend, you're left with a lot of grave-sounding tracks with bombastic Phantom of the Opera-worthy brass sections, like "Soldiers Who Don't Have a Gravepost / Bhyounaki Senshitachi" or "Legend of Zero / Zero no Densetsu." Not that those songs are bad, which is why I include the last of the instrumental tracks from OST 3: "Who Will Give Their Life / Darega Tameni Inochi," which takes itself very seriously and very earnestly, just like the show itself.

One of the other frequent moods of these OST is anxiety, perhaps no better demonstrated than "You Can Hear a Voice Calling the Soul /Tamashii wo Yobu Koe ga Suru", which has a guitar emitting screeches of existential despair. “Signs of Consciousness / Ishiki no Taido" is from this same school, but its second half is more "I am walking into a rave already a few minutes into what I know is going to be a bad trip," which is not really a mood I remember from the series itself. By the time you get to OST 3, you start venturing into tracks that wouldn't be out of place in a horror film. You can hear an example of it in "The Eyes of a Mobile Doll / Mobile Doll no Me," which is on this list because it sounds like a fever dream, but you could also check out "The Abandoned Horse of the Age / Jidai no Sutegoma," which is not on this playlist and has the same effect. Some of them, like "I Don't Like Fairytales / Otogi-banashi wa Sukijyanai," are inspiringly atmospheric, almost hypnotic. Is Gundam Wing horror? [Treize Voice] Yes, the Horror of War.

Some quick call-outs in the odds and ends group: “Tokimeite Harmony” is the 3x4 theme, a literal duet between a violin and a flute, and it’s there for that reason and that reason alone. I could not tell you for the life of me where in the series “Yasuragi no Hitotoki...”, “Kizuna,” “Sonzai Syomei,” or “Kioku no Gyakuryu” come from, but they sound like beautiful tracks from a video game I’ve never played. Similarly, “That Day Was The Last Day I Saw Your Smile / Anohi Saigo ni Mita Egao” is uncharacteristically fluttery and beautiful for a Gundam Wing OST piece, an almost Ghibli-esque track which nevertheless ends on an anxiety-inducing note of unrest.

And finally, the character songs. I leave you with one for each of the six main characters, and then a bonus.

Heero Yuy: "With Only My Words / Oredake no Kotoba de." Did you expect Heero's singing voice to sound like this? Neither did I. I have no idea why they thought this was a good image song for Heero. It's not. I leave it here because you must listen to it. The better "sounding" song is "Flying Away," which shows up in this CD later, but it doesn't give me the same dissonance as this one.

Duo Maxwell: “Wild Wing.” "Good Luck & Good Bye" is the superior song. (there's a little bit of Wang Chung “Everybody Have Fun Tonight" to it), but the sheer hilarity of this chorus (WILD WING BOYS!) means that i have to include it.

Trowa Barton: “Clown / Doukeshi.” What to say about this? This is a typical ballad, something you may play during a romantic moment of a kdrama or during the slow motion death scene in a Hong Kong film that would be released around the same time as GW was. I feel bad for Nakahara Shigeru who clearly is straining himself singing this. but it is nothing if not period accurate.

Quatre Raberba Winner: “Star’s Gaze / Hoshi no Manazashi.” Poor Orikasa Ai. Quatre’s voice is passably bishounen in the series itself, but it's hard to hide that his seiyuu was a woman when it came to the image songs. That said, her voice has a much fuller quality than her fellow pilots, and this is actually a decent-enough filler song. You could imagine debuting an idol maybe in the late 80s with this track.

Chang Wufei: “Knock at Tomorrow's Door / Asu eno Door wo Tatake.” If Wing were a kpop group, Wufei would be the rapper. You don't get to argue with me here. It's hard enough to imagine Wufei actually singing, but Ishino Ryuzou's singing voice also doesn't bear that much resemblance to the voice he adopted for the character. 

Relena Peacecraft: “Love is Not Crying Yet / Ai wa Mada Nakanai.” One of the most unexpected of the image songs is this bossa nova inspired track for Relena. Like Orikasa's ballad, this song almost works as a real song, and the purity of Yajima Akiko's voice is incredibly charming, which makes it all that more surprising that she's actually best known for being the seiyuu to the eponymous Shin-chan of Crayon Shin-Chan.

I do not include the image songs for Zechs and Treize, simply because they're boring. Both of them are extremely well-known and popular seiyuus, who have since done a number of musical projects. You can tell that they will fare better at that endeavor than Trowa’s seiyuu, but there's really nothing interesting to say about their songs. As always, the men of Gundam Wing are shown up by their female counterpart: Lady Une's "Brightness & Darkness" is positively anthemic and fun to listen to. Sayuri doesn't hit all the notes perfectly, and you can sense there is Fleetwood Mac / Stevie Nicks impersonator out there who could really knock this one out of the park, but if I were to keep one image song out of the whole bunch, it'd be this one.