#like theres only so much negative things i can say in a phone call before itll ruin the whole vibe

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

.

[skelliko]

Hello! I hope you're doing well!🪄

I wanted to request some head-canons? For both Ran and Rindou ...

How would they act with a s/o that has BPD? Which one would feel more hesitant about the relationship? How do they act when the s/o pushes them away but immediately clings on them when they try to leave?

If you don't feel like writing this it's totally understandable so no worries!!! Love you<3

a/n: sorry if I got anything wrong here I do apologise if I have, i tried to gain as much information as I could about it but also not add a lot, I don't mean to offend anyone. love you too stay safe <3

ran + rindou haitani |°- s/o with BPD

°- Rindou Haitani

• he would test the waters from a distance, I reckon he's more smarter and closed off than ran when it comes to relationships and knowing of your bpd makes all the difference from thinking it over and playing out scenarios about what you would be like even with very little information about the disorder. all he knows is bpd makes someone think in black and white, but is that really true?

• he'd get close to you but then take a huge step backwards to recollect his thoughts about you, he's aware on how complex the disorder is but he only knows the surface levels of bpd not what could potentially uncover. but part of him wants to try and not think too much about it and rather think about you as a person

• sometimes he's a busy person and has to cancel plans that the two of you have made, at this point he knew you could turn to be upset but he didn't expect that part of your perspective on him to turn south. now he triple makes sure that when you make plans it'd be consistent and not on days when rindou is supposed to do other things.

• he gives into your clinginess, he tried to match the energy but the way you love him is unmatched but he loves that part about you. but after some amount it gets tiring, he's taken consideration of that beforehand but wasn't aware of how much negativity you can also bring out if rindou did something that made you switch up. always thinking about his words and what to do to show you that he loves you the way you love him. even despite asking himself on how fast you can love, but he goes along with it either way.

• when he's in a position where you want to be left alone as if your battery has gone past it's drained limit, he ponders a little. standing in the middle of the room 🧍 wondering if that's truly what you want but doesn't verbally ask. all before turning his direction towards the door to leave. he probably made at least 10 steps away from your home before he felt his phone go off with your messages popping up to tell you to come back and how you're sorry for making him leave like that.

• he complied though. with a few complaints in his mind but he didn't exactly want to you leave you like that and upon feeling your tightening and warm grasp after stepping foot in again it made him feel certain emotions. something like that will happen again he just knows it, but hes not mad, maybe a little annoyed but he will come turning back towards you if you plead nicely. he just only hopes that it stays to this sort of extent and not anything more.

°- Ran Haitani

• I feel like he would be curious about you, he'd dive in and test the waters with a hand and then fall in but ponder whether or not if he should get out of the water. he wants to know how deep the pool is and if theres anything he could find that he doesn't see from the surface. he's daring himself to find out what you're like.

• previously he knew so little about bpd, he only knew things from what he's heard and the stereotypical things that people say, but over time he realised that there's so much more to you than what he's heard, and that's what made him more curious than hesitant in wanting to hold your hand.

• when he realised that he became, on what people call, to be your 'favourite person' he had a small intrigued smile on his face but his brain was running in different directions, is that a good or bad thing? hes more than noticed your loving side towards him and despite all that curiosity and wanting to know more, that doesn't mean that he doesn't feel anything for you.

• he feels hurt when you push him away to be left alone but then gets confused and a little annoyed when he follows through but you end up not liking that, or how you don't respond to his messages but get angry when he doesn't reply to yours. it's like you're always contradicting yourself.

• he couldn't keep up with you isolating yourself and not knowing if your alright. but if it's a request that you want to happen with no questions then he'll follow by it to not make you any more upset than you already are at the moment. even though he wishes he doesn't have to.

• though after turning his back on you and to make his way to the door he heard your voice and next thing he knows your trying to make him stay longer, hugging him with so much emotion to the point where if you squeezed harder you would have merged your soles together.

• he's trying his best to make you happy though, sure sometimes it's hard for the both of you to keep up but if space is what you want then he'll give it, and if you want him with you then hell also give you himself. he's hard on himself and is in a state of wishing that he could know what the next day would be like for you two but he doesn't and won't cast you aside if that helps, despite how confusing and anxious ran gets.

 ♡----

[wegonbealright-09]

ur very much a hater lmao 😭. and last anon was right, yoongi was the one who said the bb hot 100 thing, jk has neverrr said anything about his goals on that chart, even as a group, only celebrated their success after the fact, so not sure where you're getting this "sudden obsession" from. as a matter of fact, jimin has talked more ab his goals for bb than him. and he should ! theres nothing wrong with explicitly stating your goals especially when you make fire ass music that deserves to be number one, its called manifestation and putting their wants into the world. your issue is that you see the 10% of the member's lives that they choose to show us and come up with these narratives to feed your own delusions about how you feel about them and their personalities. bitter ab yoongi going on tour like it has anything to do with his enlistment ? HUH 😭😭? 2+2= fish in your head too ig. and you saying joon being bitter bc he wants to be acknowledged for the work he does... ??? see im typing this out and its just not making sense. he's always done that before they even got instagram, AS HE SHOULD because it's HIS work and if he wants to make a post ab writing some lyrics then he can and you saying he's bitter for doing that is extremely odd. as for tae, be fucking fr lol. u sound like the type to get mad if a member didnt make a happy birthday post like they dont have each others literal phone numbers and addresses. and tae did support jimin's solo songs multiple times on weverse, but you ignore that bc it doesnt fit your narrative. get out your mind, take a walk outside, and come to the realization that you dont know these people and making up these negative narratives ab their personalities is oddball behaviour to say the least. and lastly, joon and suga have nothing to be bitter about. theyre part of the biggest group in the world. their albums are critically acclaimed. this second chapter of bts has brought out the worst in people like you because you constantly try to make it a competition between the members, and theyre not letting you do that bc they actually support each other and congratulate each other in their accomplishments, whether they post it online for fans to see or not. at the end of the day bts trumps all, which is what all 7 members have said and have been saying🤷🏾‍♀️and people like you are just gonna have to suck it up or unstan bc the negativity and d! ck measuring contests are not it and goes against anything bts have ever said about each other.

Anon I should let you write my history essays you know, :⁠-⁠)

Me a hater? Excuse me?

You anon you are the type that goes to posts about jimin stans and qrt " jimin would hate y'all, he's die for his members and put you on fire" every time they trust to address the injustice but okay.

Jk has talked about the billboard he's not even manifesting he knows it it'll lend on his lap because scooter has made sure if that. That man doesn't even shit about his upcoming album he doesn't know shit he's just going to accept it and move on like he did with seven. And lmfao. I'm not obsessed with jk, I've had this blog for such a long time but i didn't post anything I only followed people and interacted in post you can click to see which posts I've liked and who do I follow. But anon I got tired of everyone here acting ignorant like they don't see what's going on, like " yhea we've got some jikook crumbs let's not address the payola and fraud that is going on". I'm not obsessed far from it, this dude lately just pops up in feed and annoys the fuvk out of me, something he's never did before. And also jk is chart obsessed lately even some of his fans can see you don't fine by me.

Jimin never talked about his BB goals like what do you mean. That man wanted to release face as a free album on sound cloud because he felt like this is his story and he wants fans, and everyone to be able to hear it and relate and see the world from his point of view, so you tell me anon you tell me. Jimin didn't even think that like crazy was going to number on he was impressed with how well smf pt2 did because guess what he didn't expect that as well. So idk what you tryna say anon.

I agree I don't know what's going on with their lives. I didn't say I'm telling the truth here or some like that my posts are based on my opinions and observations. If me not agreeing with what most of y'all think is being called delusional girl I've been delulu i still think jimin is going to release and album with Bruno Mars as a featured artist or him and Bruno are going to pay homage to MJ someday so yhea I am delulu.

Birthdays are no big deals I myself I don't celebrate my own birthday and just like jimin I give zero fucks about my birthday. Okay anon I admit I was wrong it's okay for ones best friend to not congratulate him on social media platforms when he had just did the impossible and made history and decides to do so privately only when it comes to them, it's totally okay.

I'm not even going to talk about yoongi and Joon because this I've said what I've said. I'm not backtracking you can go throw yourself off a cliff idc

I thought you said everyone's entitled to their own opinion but now that I'm expressing mine I must touch some grass and take a walk. How about you snap back to reality huh? As I've said if when you see BTS you see rainbows sunshine's and clouds that's okay but I don't and I'm not tryna force my opinions on people I'm just saying what I think and feel and I might be wrong idc it's just how I feel.

Anon I'm not laughing I swear. You know I'm not a hater I've said that in the second chapter there's been a shift in the group's energy and I'm standing on that. Your last sentences wooo anon you're the one to say what I'm doing goes against what bts have said to each other. So is what's jk is going with the fraud and payola but I don't see you ranting and calling him out, he's going against everything that BTS has ever believed in, the legacy they've created, the image they've built. For what? A few records that some western artist is going to break again with more payola than him. If you look as scooters old interviews about Gangnam Style and all. Jk is just a puppet to his show, he hates jimin more than he's ever did because he has a break through in the western market as soloist without his help, he sis what he could do with Gangnam even after all that promotion on his own with little to no promotion

But hey this is just my opinion I don't want to sound" obsessed" so this is the last time I'm talking about jk.

Anon neither you know what's going on behind closed doors but if you like to act ignorant fine by me my opinion and yours are different anyway thank you for visiting my blog and having the nerve to tell me to touch some grass on my own blog smh

[taki118]

IruClarAzz Master Post Part 4

Just collecting all of the cuteness of the Love Trio and adding my commentary. This will cover the Music Festival Arc, Season 3 may or not cover and this one is a doosey. Also just saying ya’ll should read the manga theres more stuff and god the art does not translate sometimes. Its not everything everything but close there’s a lot of just little things and trying to focus on the three. (Also warning I may make jabs at the IruAmeri ship here and there just small comparisons showing why I don’t like it as much, no hate but if you don’t like your ship being talked about even slightly negatively probably look away.)

If you didn’t see it Part 1 is here, Part 2 is here and Part 3 here. This is gonna be long.

They look so cute in their winter wear.

Knowing they’d get swarmed after the Harvest Festival Azz went and got them matching concealment glasses.

Purson begins revealing secrets he’s witnessed this is Azz’s, he points out its not JUST Iruma he takes pictures of.

Clara scolds him a little but Purson reveals Iruma sneaks snacks in class.

Then they switch to scolding Iruma for his over eating.

They have to practice for the Music Festival with Clara and Azz on dance and Iruma on piano so they are separated again. Texts are cute.

This begins a fun chapter where the two have to learn to be in sync.

But their ways of thinking don’t mix easy. They go to look at how everyone else is doing.

They get the idea from watching the others to talk more.

But it ends up in arguing again until they realize they have one area they think the same.

They begin to laugh at how they said the same thing. Clara poking Azz is so cute.

Clara has a realization and its true. While Clara likely would have been put in the Misfits Class regardless Azz wouldn’t have if he hadn’t started the fight with Iruma. 

Iruma helps motivate and unite them but most importantly....

AZZ CALLS CLARA BY HER FIRST NAME FOR THE FIRST TIME.

And she is so happy!!! We’ve only seen her make these sorts of faces for Iruma before. She would go around calling him Alice despite his feelings on the name though so its good she doesnt remember.

They finally sync up. This is an important chapter for the pair and has been a long time coming. 

So Iruma gives Elizabetta a love letter as a kind of prop to get into character to play the piano but it causes Shax (who has a crush on her) and Clara to freak out along with Azz....interesting

The three play with costumes

Iruma gets smacked for his costume choices (which is an ongoing gag that he always gravitates towards armor) Clara and Azz fuss over him.

The class gets pre-preformance jitters causing our trio to end up huddle like this.

They do a compliment circle for the class this is Iruma’s can you see Azz and Clara’s?

Iruma stays out late to fix some things causing him to be zonked out the morning of the performance and gets watched by Azz and Clara.

One of the judges, the former demon kings...um well we arent actually sure what they were to each other, tosses Iruma around again poor Azz’s face.

They look so good in their costumes.

So after the festival the class has a party to celebrate their work and Ameri tries to get Iruma alone. Clara and Azz aren’t having it which while on par for Clara is rather new for Azz. (Side bar Ameri sweetie not the right time. You can say she didn’t mean right now but in a later chapter she did 100% want Iruma to leave his classmates and spend time with just her)

Now he openly takes their pictures. To anyone thinking he just crops Clara out nope you can see it on his phone shes still in frame. 

The class goes and plays some music together I like how Azz and Clara play the same instrument.

At the party Iruma is asked to do archery but they don;t want him running off. 

They are both aware that when alone Iruma tends to get pulled along by others so Azz goes.

There he finds Kirio who tells Azz this which again is interesting assessment.

Azz is touched by this thought, until...

Kirio reveals that Iruma is keeping secrets from Azz and isn’t who Azz believes him to be, promising to expose Iruma to him (he know Iruma is human). Kirio knows just how important Azz is to Iruma and wanting to see not only Iruma but Azz to fall deeper into despair plants his seeds. 

Noticing how dangerous Kirio really is Azz goes on the act nearly inducing his wicked phase before Clara arrives. Sadly she doesnt see him and he escapes.

This encounter though sets Azz back as he goes full protect mode.

He won’t talk to anyway and even keeps Clara away cause he’s so rattled by Kirio’s words.

He leaves Iruma alone to see Balam just long enough for Clara to snatch him up. And Its really funny. 

She takes this as her chance to praise him for his part in the performance he does the same and they are so cute. The ease in their touches is so sweet.

She even praises Azz too which is something I think she wants to do to his face but can’t cause of his literal walls. Iruma takes this as a chance to voice the thoughts he’s had about Azz’s shift and you think for a minute Clara is jealous but just wait. 

So this is the chapter I have been waiting to talk about since I started this god If I could I’d just post it all.

So I know there are some people who think that becauseof the art and tone shift only her Iruma confession was real and Azz was tacked on cause she was scared but I don’t agree with this. I think Clara 100% means what she says here that she love BOTH Iruma and Azz (whether you think only one is romantic and the other platonic irrelevant) She loves to different degrees perhaps but she whole heartedly loves them and believes that they not only love her back but love each other. I think she is very much aware of what she is saying. The issue is Iruma can’t keep up or fully comprehend what she is saying. 

And here it is! The name the Love Trio! See I hadn’t really considered shipping the three until this moment right here. Cause like what Clara is saying right here its like the base level of a poly relationship. You can’t just focus on one member you have to monitor and take into consideration everyone’s feelings.

Like even though Clara doesn’t like Azz hogging Iruma’s attention she recognizes something is seriously wrong with him and knows that it’s something only he and Iruma can fix. Again very basic poly stuff. And this is why I don’t think she was jealous earlier I think she was frustrated cause she knew she couldn’t help only Iruma can.

Again I don’t think Iruma fully grasphs what Clara is saying but he does know he wants to help Azz and look at her she’s so happy not a hint of disappointment. 

She just helps Iruma plan his dat.... I mean fun day out with Azz. 

So it isn’t until they’ve already spent some time together that it hits Azz its just them. Like the idea of spending time without Clara doesn’t enter his mind anymore.

So ummmm here’s the thing this chapter feels more like a date than Ameri waterpark chapter. They start it off by doing the totally platonic activity of picking out and buying clothes for each other then spending the rest of the day in said clothes. 

I didn’t put everything cause this thing is so long already but they buy food together and play around all over magic street.

So Iruma goes on to tell Azz about how his rank up has been weighing on him, that his both amazed at his achievement and feels he didn’t really earn it all at once. And Azz laughs at him for the first time. 

Iruma tells Azz that he not only wants to be around him and Clara cause he thinks they can all support and each other he NEEDS them around. And this def comes from his time during the harvest festival arc. Anyone who says they aren’t the most important people are just liars. 

Azz is so touched by that he starts to cry and has this totally platonic reaction. 

Azz goes on to think about how lucky he is to be so relied upon by Iruma, and reassures him theat he’ll always be at his side. And Iruma is so happy.

Again tel me this doesn’t look like a confession scene

Now people have argued the choice of words here, and it’s tricky words have different connotations everywhere and even ones that can’t fully be translated. Some consider that Iruma’s intent was more like best friends but the way he’s acting and how he words it, I think it’s something deeper and stronger that soulmates fits more. Now I am of the opinion that you can be a soulmate platonically but umm

Yeah. So I want to point out that Azz does include Clara in this. Were he told this at the start he’d try to exclude her but he’s grown fond of Clara and sees her now just as worthy to stand by Iruma’s side.

They then go to brag to the class about it. The implication here is that Azz went and told Clara immediately and they both agreed to do this. Cause Iruma is mortified.

Iruma explains what friends are and how he considers his classmates all friends and when explaining soulmates, as his cling, they think they are just as close too when compared to others. 

But Azz is not having it, even Clara is ready to throw down. Again Azz is willing to share this (to him) prestigious title with Clara, he doesn’t even question her presence anymore, but refuses to anyone he considers not on their level. And so out Love Trio is officially made in a sense.

This is up to chapter 182, I may wait a little for the next part for the arc to finish we’ll see but I’m in too deep to stop now. But yeah my thoughts are these three idiots just don’t fully understand what they are to each other.

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[grunklefidds]

an unfinished stanley-centered same coin fic that has been sitting in my phone since around new year's (i'm happy with what's there of it, it just cuts off abruptly and i don't think i'll be adding to it any time soon). enjoy

1.2k words, only significant warnings are for recurring discussion of self-loathing, some unreality/depersonalization as relevant to the theory, not particularly detailed mentions of violence, and a good sprinkling of cursing

stanley dreams of burning. flames hot enough to burn blue licking around him until theres none of him left.

he thinks the first time he told ford he really was a bad kid they were seven or eight. ford told him that he was wrong. stan gave him a noogie and they laughed it off.

he doesn't remember most of his dreams. still he often wakes up feeling like he's just got away with murder.

lying on his brother's bed with snow eddying outside the window, stanley was distantly aware that if he shifted to lie on his side, the fresh burn on his shoulder would hurt less. he didn't move. a fuck-up like him didn't deserve small comforts.

he burns up into nothing that night.

the phrase 'self-esteem' wasn't really present in stan's vocabulary until well after he'd got settled in to life as mr. mystery. talking about that sort of things with kids was not in style when he and ford were young, and for the first decade or so of adulthood he was too busy surviving to really give it any thought.

dreams are strange things, anyway. sometimes you do awful, awful things in them, as if watching yourself do it, any sense of horror completely absent. surely you'd never really do that! if all the people in your dreams are really you, if the you in your dreams is really you, then you must be some sort of monster, right?

stan tried to get in on the self help game back in '78: it seemed like an easy grift. when he found some junk workbook called SHAME 'N' YOU at a garage sale the first year he was in gravity falls, he dismissed it as more of the same. he still slipped it into his jacket. good for spare toilet paper if nothing else.

dreams of fire mix with dreams of him trapped in a colorless motionless place. it feels like home.

stan didn't like sleeping much in that first year or two working on the portal. at night he would sit in the kitchen desperately trying to understand the physics books he got at the library, alternating coffee and vodka, rather than sleep. he certainly didn't deserve to rest, not until he could clean up his mess. it only seemed fair.

occasionally among the dreams of fire and stifled screams there's feelings of comfort. some are memories of old hijinks with sixer but out of order with the colors brighter and warmer, and some are pink flashes of a sense of being protected. stan remembers these as little as he remembers the flames.

he found the phrase 'negative self-talk' not in the first book from the garage sale, but a similar one a few years later. stan scoffed at the concept. how could thinking that shit be a problem if it was all true?

his dreams are a bit less remarkable once the little guy starts working around the shack. it's nothing stan notices at the time, nothing abrupt, but dreams about ice cream goats and missing deadlines for high school english papers begin to slip in among the flames. some he even remembers. they leave him less exhausted in the morning.

at some point, despite the years of headache and frustration, it started to feel like stan was making good progress on the portal. it was satisfying, mastering all the nerd junk he picked up from books well enough to get the damned thing rumbling again. he wouldn't let himself feel proud of it, but 'accomplished' might be in reach once his brother was back.

his dreams are all over the place while the little ones are there. vivid memories of glass shard beach, flames a brighter blue than theyve been all his life, and horrifying sequences of him hurting the children in impossible ways. the traces of them leave his heart racing in the first moments after waking up.

having the young twins around the house made things a hell of a lot livelier. between getting general weird feelings from them reminding him of his brother and going out of his mind with worry when they didn't manage to hide whatever magical death trap they'd found that day, stan hadn't worked this hard at keeping a poker face since the 80s, at least.

dreams of happy days on the beach mix with ford looking at him with fear and shoving him onto a scorching stovetop. during the day, watching the kids smack each other with empty paper towel tubes, he recognizes the feeling in his gut as jealousy.

soos got on fantastically with the twins. stan was thrilled to see the three joking together, and tried to quash any fuzzy feelings over it. surely he was glad to have a load off while another adult (the big goober being over twenty still felt strange) could watch out for them. ...he could think more about who exactly he could call his family once he allowed himself to rest.

his dream the afternoon that gideon broke in is strange even for him. his memory of it fades as quickly as most of them do, but during it he's distinctly aware of someones other than him in his mind. some of them feel comfortably familiar- the kid he'd watched grow up and the kids he'd like to- and one feels terrifyingly familiar. he desperately tries to reach them, manages to pat dipper on the back, and is awake in what feels like seconds.

the day that the shack's deed was stolen, stan felt like he hit rock bottom yet again. of course he put on a strong face (out of courtesy) for the kids, and for soos (who probably knew better by now), and for soos' grandmother (who still intimidated him a little), but it was damned hard. thirty years of blood, sweat and tears over that machine, and a flimsy piece of paper with his brother's signature was still all there was keeping him off the street. all that work, added up to nothing. he couldn't help but see it as some kind of confirmation.

his dreams about jail are never pleasant. they're never true to life (though his memories of it are bad enough): something always twists partway through into some vast structure or impossibly tight space. they make him wake up nervous and ashamed.

he wouldn't say it to anyone, but stan loved cooking for other people. part of it was that he only ever ate enough to keep him moving when he was living alone (even well after things had settled in the shack). if it was for someone else, he actually thought about what the food would taste like, and, shockingly, he usually enjoyed it more. stan discovered this a while after soos started working there, but having the kids actually living at the house (not just there after school or whenever soos wanted to come over before his shift started), he was getting a lot more practice. it was nice.

stan dreams of being small and exhausted. he's giddy, he hasn't had an opportunity like this in decades- no, centuries! he runs around banging into every sharp object he can find, gleeful to have a new sucker to discard. the glee barely fades as the blue flames burn him out to wakefulness.

he makes bacon and eggs for breakfast.

later that day, he saw mabel stitching a sock puppet with her own face. he raised an eyebrow, but when she grinned at him he smiled back.

[mlm-mod-taka]

Hey there! Can I have Chihiro with a male s/o who has severely low self-esteem issues, and will constantly self-degrade themselves, like they would call themselves scum or trash.

S/O WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM • chihiro x male reader

of course. i do hope you're doing well, and my dms are always open if you need any one to talk to. lets see if i captured this right, since i had my own problems with confidence before. please have a nice time reading this, hopefully it makes you feel a little better!

tws/cws: he/him pronouns for chihiro, self degrading, low self esteem, low confidence, self hatred & the word "beat".

|| -> mod taka <3

i feel like he would be the most understanding about it. he knows what its like to not like something about yourself, but he hopes that he can help you in some way. he hates to see the man he loves be so down on himself, it makes him sad as well.

whenever you degrade yourself in front of him, he immediately denies what you're saying. you're amazing in his eyes, and he'll find some way to get you to see it, whether you want to or not.

likes to make little lists of things that he finds cute or great about you. theres one big list in the notes app on his phone, so whenever you're feeling bad about yourself, and question your self worth in being in a relationship with him, he shows you the list he made, to prove you wrong.

will happily go on a rant about the things he likes about you, and you can tell that he isn't lying. the only thing you can see when you look into his eyes, is pure admiration and love. you can't deny the fact that he means everything he's saying.

mentions many of the little things that you wouldn't even give a second thought. little habits you do when you're happy, when a certain situation just happened, or when he tells you some good news, he notes down every little habit he likes that you do.

cuddles up to you whenever you feel terrible about yourself, freely giving you affection to try and make you feel a little better. i see him as someone that gives very good cuddles and kisses, so you can be assured that you'll feel all fluffy and light when he does this.

tries his best to show you that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. he knows that he has a lot of flaws, and while he does have some self esteem issues as well, he always tries to stay somewhat positive.

the advice that he gives you is to look at something you know you're good at whenever you're focusing on the more negative parts of yourself. no one is perfect, and its completely okay to know that you have certain faults. the important thing is that you don't forget that you're still worth just as much as everyone else, in his eyes atleast.

he knows very well how hard it is to actually have better confidence in yourself, so he's not hard on you whenever you beat yourself up. isn't one to yell or get angry at you for saying such things, he'll just calmly hear you out, hugging you. after you finish, he'll contradict everything bad you said about yourself, nicely of course.

at the end of the day, he really does reassure that you're worth something, and helps your degrading issues. he'll always be there to tell you all the things that made him fall in love with you. just say it, and chihiro would give you a nice hug with his usual sweet smile that helps you ground yourself when your low self esteem really has a grip on you.

he's extremely patient, kind & genuinely does mean it when he says that he would never see you in a lesser light. he can lie about a lot of things, but one of the things he could never lie about is how much he adores you. he really does help you out.

[darkmulti]

Death of You

Yandere ex bf!San x female reader

This is a re make of “Satan” bc it was deleted and also happen to be my favourite piece of writing:) also I mixed in a request in here!

⚠️Warnings: humilitaion, filth filth filth filth filth, spitting, spanking, degradtion, bondage, rough sex, oral (male recieving), slapping, theres a lot of kinky shit mixed in here, cum eating, cum play, choking, overstimulation, fear kink, possessive behaviour

——————————————————————————

“San that’s not my fault.”

“Yes it is. It’s entirely your fault. You cheated on me and I caught you. I saw the messages on your phone.”

“San, you don’t even fucking trust me. It’s not what you think! He’s my bestfriend! Our conversation wasn’t even inappropriate in anyway, you’re just mad another boy texted me!”

“Yeah, exactly! What if you two have been fucking behind my back this whole time?”

Your eyes roll back and you mentally slap yourself.

Why were you trying to save something that was already broken?

San’s behaviour was outrageous. What kind of man, what kind of person would think of such things? Being frustrated, you blurted out,

“Do you want to break up? Tell me what you want to do San. Because I truly don’t know anymore.”

San looks at you but doesn’t say a word.

“Fine. I’ll go pack my shit.”

While massaging your forehead, you walk past San and go upstairs. After you finished packing, you head downstairs with your carry on suitcase, and slam the door shut, leaving your now ex boyfriend San, alone in the enormous house.

You will not tolerate his behaviour. You simply can’t stay with a man who doesn’t trust you. With quick thinking you decide to stay the night at a nearby hotel.

With some money saved up in your bank account, you would be able to afford staying in the hotel for a little amount of time. So it was very important for you to find a job, as soon as possible.

After checking into the hotel, you take a cold shower to wash away your tears and make up a plan.

You were strong.

You didn’t need a man.

Before you met San, you were a strong, independent women. Not that you aren’t anymore, you just lost your momentum. Now it was your chance to get it back.

Finally your head fills up with positive thoughts and you get out of the shower with a bright smile plastered across your face. The cold water that hit your body and washed away all your tears, triggers your restart button.

Although you couldn’t exactly forget about him, you were still capable of not ever thinking about him. While cleaning your face with cold water and washing your tired, red, puffy eyes, you start to calm down a bit. Your heartbeat became steady and all the negative thoughts floated away. Another breath of relief leaves your lips.

You change into your pyjamas that San had given you.

Well this wasn’t going to be the easiest process. Almost everything you packed was either a gift from San or bought with his money.

Right there and then you made a promise to yourself that you will return all the money he spent on you. It was only fair, which meant you can move on with your life without feeling guilty. 

After planning out your next steps you jump onto the mattress and snuggle in. You take your plushie into your arms and hug it since San isn’t here anymore.

Right when you close your eyes your phone lights up, waking you up. You lazily pick it up and see the miss calls and messages San had left you.

107 messages and 36 missed calls

Y/N

Answer your calls

We can fix this

Y/N we can fix this

I’m sorry please come back.

I love you angel

Please we can’t end like this

We were suppose to get married and have kids

Now who am I supposed to get married to?

Y/N please answer my calls

Sweetheart I need to know if you safe

Please I’m so sorry for what I did and said

Sweetie please

Babygirl I miss you

I love you so much please don’t do this to me!

Why aren’t you answering my calls

Are you with another man?

Y/N ANSWER MY FUCKING CALLS GOD DAMIT!

YOU FUCKING WHORE, ALREADY SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN!

WE HAVEN’T EVEN BROKEN UP PROPERLY!

FUCKING ANSWER MY CALLS

I WILL KILL THE FUCKER IF YOU DON’T ANSWER ME!

STOP LEAVING ME ON READ!

CALL ME

ANSWER ME!

STOP BEING A FUCKING CUNT AND COME BACK TO THE HOUSE!

WHEN I FIND-

You put the phone faced down on the nightstand. That message was enough to make you tremble and cry from fear. You bite down on your lip and wipe away your tears.

Your nails go into your mouth and you lay down, thinking that sleep will help. Even though your heart was about to beat out of your chest, you close your heavy eyelids and you drift into a peaceful sleep.

Approximately 3 hours into your sleep, and knocking on the door woke you.

Shit! You forgot to put on the ‘do not disturb sign’

Crawling out of the warm, cozy bed, your feet touch the cold floor and you walk to the door, opening it.

A very big mistake you made. Standing in the doorway is a very angry San. You shut the door and lock it before running into the bathroom.

Shit shit shit, fuck your phone! You left it on the nightstand!

You open the bathroom door and make a run for it to your phone. But you freeze in your tracks when you hear the ‘beep’ the front door makes when it unlocks. You turn around and San walks in and locks the door.

Paralyzed you were. He walked over to you and without a word you pushed you down onto the floor.

You snap out of the phase and snap at him.

“What the fuck? You can’t treat me like a rag doll San. We’re done!”

“No. I’m not done with you until you tell me why your not answering your phone. You always have it shoved up your ass, so tell me why you chose to ignore me.”

Your eyes look on the floor, not wanting to answer. The idea of breaking up will never get into his sick head. It’ll go in one ear and out the other.

“Not responding? Let’s try this again.”

San gets on his knees and pushes you down onto the floor with a hand now around your neck, in missionary position.

“WHY DID YOU IGNORE MY CALLS AND MESSAGES?”

“BECAUSE SAN, IM FUCKING DONE WITH YOU!”

San raises his hand and slaps you across the face leaving a sting on your cheek.

“Don’t you dare fucking yell at me, you brat. You ungrateful, cock slut brat.”

The man grabs the base of your jaw and spits in your whining mouth. His hands pull your thighs up onto him and he grinds his bulge.

San knew how much control he had over you, and used it to his advantage. Whenever he showed any type of loving or caring affection towards you, you would instantly explode.

“You want me to stop?”

“No, please!”

San smirks at you. Hasn’t been 9 hours and you already want him in your pussy.

“Sit on your pretty little knees and wait for daddy’s order.”

Hurriedly, you get up and sit on your knees. You pull your hair back and wait for your daddy’s next orders.

“Good girl. My cute little puppy. I bet if you had a tail in that ass, it would be wagging side to side because you’re that excited to suck my cock.”

He said teasingly with a sly smile spreading across his face.

Your lips pout and you look at him with widened eyes.

“Take your clothes off darling, I wanna see the lingerie you’re wearing.”

Fortunately or maybe unfortunately, you were wearing his favourite lavender lingerie. The design on the bra and underwear was beautiful and fitted your body perfectly.

“Oh darling. Everytime I see you in that lingerie, it keeps getting better and better. I don’t ever think I’ll ever get tired of this view.”

His sweet words wander out of his lips and into your ears, causing you to smile.

“Come to daddy babygirl.”

Your hands go on the floor and you crawl to him with sparkles in your eyes. San scratches you underneath your chin, and brings your hands up to the hem of his pants.

“You do the honours baby.”

You adjust yourself and pull his pants and underwear down, with his help. San brought your face closer to his lower stomach. You were confused on what he was doing, until his cock sprung up and hit your face, startling you.

Tilting your head up, you admire his long, thick, veiny, red cock, that had pre cum dripping down from the tip. You could’ve come right there just by the sight.

“I know my cock’s superior, but it’s not going to suck itself.”

Your hands quickly take a hold of it and roughly strokes it up and down. San runs his fingers through your hair and tilts your head up so he can look at you while you stroke his cock. Your eyes still in contact with San’s you lick his shaft all the way up to his tip.

San rolls his hip, and thrust into nothing. He wanted to whine so badly, but it would make him look weak, which he didn’t like. Having enough of your teasting he pulls your hair back and slaps you across the face, leaving his hand print behind.

“You don’t tease me darling. Take it in or else I’ll put a ginger up your ass. As I recall, you hated that punishment with all your heart.”

He then got closer to your face.

“Don’t make me do it again.”

Both your holes clench, as you remember the severe pain that punishment had caused you. Not wanting to risk it, you shove his seven inch dick down your throat, while playing with his balls. San holds your hair back for you, and praises you for taking him so well. You pop a smile around his cock and your teeth brush against his dick, making him shiver.

Though, you were happy to satisfy him, there was one thing that wasn’t satisfying you. Your daddy was a hard dom and never moans. It always got to your head that you weren’t satisfying him to the fullest. So with a determined mindset, you get in the right position and dig your nails into his thighs. You shove him down your throat and start to suck the life out him. He jolts up and lets out a loud groan, followed by a soft, but sensitive moan.

You start grinding on the air, after hearing his beautiful, sexy moans.

Oh god, what would you have to have your clit touched right now.

The dom's cock starts twitching in your throat and you bring his tip up into your mouth, sucking it until his cum releases.

“No no no darling. Spit it out.”

You tilt your head at san and he cups his hand in front of your mouth. You spit it up in his hands, and he also spits in it. The males other hand pulls your hair back and rubs the cum all over your face. It drips down your neck into your exposed clevage.

“Baby, rub it all over your breast for daddy.”

You take both of your hands and rub the cum all over your tits.

“Good little whore.”

With your face, neck and chest covered in cum, San takes his belt and wraps it tightly around your neck making a two in one collar and leash. He gets up and pulls you with him to the door.

“Daddy where are we going?”

You ask innocently, but deep inside you were petrified.

“Let’s go on a little walk”

He pulls your leash, yanking you across the floor to his feet.

“Crawl on all fours like the good little puppy you are.”

He pats your head and grabs the door card.

“Walk beside me, in sync with my feet okay slut?”

“Okay daddy”

San walks to the elevator where we met our first victim. He looked at us in shock. You keep your head down low, while San started making small talk with the confused and genuinely concerned male. San then bends down to you and tells you to stick your tongue out. You do as told, but he didn’t do anything to you. Instead he just stood up. Your mind puts two and two together and realizes he’s trying to make you act like a dog.

The elevator dings and you both are now in the front lobby, where there was much more people. San looked out for any kids, but when he saw the coast was clear, he walked out like nothing was wrong.

He pulled you to the couches in the lobby, while people stared at your exposed body. San sits down on the couch and you sit on the floor. He sighs, and picks you off the ground slightly and puts his shoe underneath you.

“Fuck my shoe, you thirsty whore.”

He points his toes up, hitting your clit and making you flinch.

“Grind on it you shameless whore.”

You hips starts moving on the tip and your cheeks turn pink from embarrassment. San from behind spanks your ass a couple of times, and you let out soft moans. Your eyes roam around until it makes eye contact with an old man, who was checking you out. He shamelessly takes his dick out and starts to jerk off, coming closer and closer.

You turn your head the other way and let your mind wanders off. You start to think about how you look like. The cum and spit mixture gliding down your face picking up droplets of sweat, before falling onto your breast. The lavender lingerie that was exposing all your private parts. Your red face, that still had san’s handprint on it. Last but not least, the overly tight belt around your neck, that was causing your breath to slow down.

You bring your attention back to the shoe and went a little harder on your clit, until san reaches to your shoulder to make you stop. He sneaks his arms under your armpits then wraps it around your body, pulling you up onto his lap. You feel his face turned to your right, so you also look and see the old man sitting next to you both.

“Can we share,,,,,, please?”

The old man whispers and reaches towards your arm. San stands up with you in his arms.

“No. I can’t. Mind your own business and keep your dick in your pants.”

San carries you to the elevator, where he kept you in his embrace the entire time.

“I'm so sorry sweetheart, are you okay? I didn’t know I’m sorry, are you scared? We can leave.”

The man’s heart aches at the cringe worthy scenario that took place a two minutes ago. He felt so guilty. You didn’t peep a word and only stuffed your face in his chest.

He carries you back to the room and lays you on the bed once he was inside.

“Shall we continue?”

You ask with a teasing smile, and your hands on the hem of you pantie, bringing it down.

“You still want to-”

You crawl to his guilty figure and place a finger on his lips.

“Of course. You can’t just stop there.”

You pull San onto the bed and jump on top of him. His bulge was hard again, and your cunt aches at it. You bounce on his clothed shaft, while undoing the buttons of his shirt. San places his hands onto your hips and lets you enjoy yourself.

You wrap your hand around his throat and grind harder, until your pussy clenches around nothing and you let out a high pitch whine. This was San’s cue. He switches the position, pulls his pants down, and shoves his giant cock, into your warm, wet pussy. He immediately pounds into your g spot making you squeal and squirm under him. Your tears start rolling down your face from the overstimulation.

“Holy shit, sannie baby daddy, fUCKK RIGHT THERE!”

You became a hot mess. Crying and whining under the male, begging him to go faster.

San hushes you and pulls on the belt choking you. Your eyes water up and your face becomes extremely red, until you tap out. He loosens the belt and throws it to the side, while you try and catch your breath.

“Daddy please hit it again.”

San accepts your challenge and hovers over top of your small figure and fucks the life out of you.

“Whore whore whore whore! You wanted this along. Did you really think that I would let you go that easily? Stupid cum fuck”

His hips move in a high speed into you, and he wraps both of his hands around your neck, putting weight on it. Eventually you scream out and burst into tears, feeling your orgasm punching through. Your pussy twitches around his cock and he gives you one last thrust, making you cry all over again.

It almost like your pussy glitches every time San made you cum. You grab onto the bedsheets and cum for your life. Spitting it out all over his cock, your eyes roll back and hips arch because Sans tip was right below your gspot.

“Sannie sannie sannie.”

San pins your hands down and thrust harshly in again, hitting the spot again. Sobs after sobs leave your mouth, and your body starts shaking at the sensitivity. He goes a little faster, and you start to zone out and only hear his balls slapping your cunt.

San leans down and sucks your lips, giving one last thrust making both of you cum. Both of you were now panting inside each other's mouths. His arms snake around your waist and he gets in bed with you still in his arms.

He pulls you close and makes sure you fall asleep before he does. Whispering sweet and caring words his final words made your heart explode.

The sincere “I love you” followed by his goofy smile.

This man..this man right here, was going to be the death of you.

——————————————————————————

To bad I’m not his girlfriend and he’s already the end of me:(

I hope you enjoyed, I’m going to bed now❣️🥺

xoxo

n❣️

[noblest-roman-of-all]

silence

day 7! if theres any major errors, sorry i might have a minor concussion cause im a dumbass. heres some cute analogical for you!

parirings: virgil/logan

tw: anxiety attacks, poor self esteem and negative self talk

Virgil has a tendency to blow things out of proportion. He knows he does, his therapist has talked to him about cognitive distortions and all the ways that it can mess with his perception of the world and the things happening to him. 

With that in mind, Virgil is still pretty sure this is the worst day of his life. 

The worst part of it all is that there wasn’t any particular thing that happened, no great catastrophe. Just a series of small, kinda shitty things that snowballed into him curled up on the floor in a dusty corner of the library, shaking and gasping and entirely unable to move. He’d had panic attacks before, but they were almost never this bad, especially since he’d started going to Dr. Picani, and the thought that he’d somehow failed, that Picani would be disappointed, sends him spiralling even deeper. 

He hears footsteps approaching, and his breath hitches again. Shit, he thought he was the only one in the section of the library, now there was somebody who might find him, who might see him like this. He hears whoever it was take a few steps forward, and then- 

“Hello?” And of course, because this is the worst day of Virgil’s shitty life, it was Logan Baker, the unfairly brilliant, stupidly attractive sophomore who was in Virgil’s English 112 class, and who almost definitely hated him. Who was now standing in front of Virgil, having a complete breakdown, looking like an utter idiot, and if he didn’t dislike Virgil before he absolutely would now, seeing him in a state like this in public, why was he such a fucking mess that he couldn’t manage to get somewhere private so no one would have to see him like this-

Virgil’s spiralling thoughts come to a screeching halt when he notices that Logan has not turned and quickly walked in the other direction, or pulled out his phone to make fun of Virgil to his friends, but has instead sat down, leaning against the opposite bookshelf so he is facing Virgil, but still a few feet away. He looks Virgil over with a keen eye, but not critical. It doesn’t help Virgil, necessarily, but it… doesn’t add to his panic. Which is good. 

“I assume asking if you are ‘okay’ is a bit redundant,” Logan says. “Is there anything I can do to help you?” 

Virgil… really wasn’t expecting that. He opens his mouth to respond, but all he can manage is a quiet croak. He hides his head back in his knees, wanting the floor to just swallow him whole at this point. Logan doesn’t laugh though, just lets out a thoughtful hum. 

“Can you speak? It’s alright if you can’t,” he says plainly. Virgil shakes his head slightly, glad he’s not being pushed to speak when apparently, his body is refusing to do so. Logan lets out that same hum again. Then, after a moment of quiet, he speaks up again. 

“Would it help you if I spoke?” The question is quiet, almost timid in a way Virgil had never heard him sound. “I’ve been made aware I have a… soothing voice, although I wouldn’t think to call it that myself,” he says in a tone that if it came from anyone else, Virgil would call it sheepish. Virgil nods quickly. 

“I assume that nod means it’s okay for me to speak,” Logan says, a huff of laughter in his tone. Virgil smiles into his arms and nods again. 

“I’m aware that for some people, being left alone is preferable, but many people find comfort in hearing another person’s voice. It allows the mind something to focus on, I suppose, to prevent from spiralling.” There’s a pause, and then Logan continues, a bit quieter. “I know it helps me.”

Virgil looks up at that, making a small, curious sound. Logan smiles, soft and unsurprised. 

“I know people don’t expect it of me, but I’m not neurotypical. I have ADHD, and oftentimes I get overwhelmed. I’ve found it’s helpful to hear someone else’s voice, to have something to latch on to,” Logan explains calmly. Virgil sits on the thought for a moment, and then nods. It makes sense to him. When Logan doesn’t say anything else, he makes a gesture with his hand, trying to indicate ‘keep going’. It seems to work, because Logan picks right up again easily. 

“I’m not great with these-these emotional things.” The way he spits out the word emotional makes that clear enough. Virgil lets out a sound that isn’t quite a laugh, but is closer to happy than any other sound he’d made recently. Logan’s lip quirks up in a semblance of a smile. 

“My roommate, Patton, he’s better at all of this than I am. I understand it from an intellectual perspective, but I admit that I struggle actually applying it.” Logan stays there, sitting on the hard ground of the library, talking to Virgil, for about an hour. He talks about his roommate Patton, who’s an early education major, and his friend Roman, a theater and performance major. He talks about the classes he’s taking for his major, astronomy. He talks about professors he loves, ones he hates. He talks about the little burger place near campus Patton drags him to every Friday so they can do karaoke, and how as much as he pretends to hate it, he secretly loves it. He talks, and for the first time Virgil gets to see someone other than Logan Baker, mildly intimidating straight A student. He gets to see Logan, who’s admittedly a bit of a dork and cares about his friends more than he would ever admit.

Eventually, Virgil manages to unfurl himself, his breathing relatively even and his mind no longer filled with swirling, hurtful words. Logan stutters to a stop when he realizes Virgil is now sitting up straight, actively listening now. 

“I, um, see you’re feeling better. I apologize for revealing so much personal information, it’s just-” Logan stops when Virgil chuckles. 

“It’s alright, dude. I, uh, actually enjoyed it,” Virgil admits with a flush. Logan looks equally flustered, and moves to stand up. 

“Well, seeing that you’re in a better state now, I’ll be on my way. Have a good afternoon, Virgil.” With that, he makes to hurry off. Virgil lurches up and grabs his wrist before he can go. 

“I… never told you my name. How did you…” Virgil trails off. Logan actually manages to look more flustered. 

“I, well, we share an English course, and I… appreciate your input. It’s interesting, and it makes me think,” Logan mutters. Virgil breaks into a smile at that, and pushes himself up as quickly as he dares. 

“Well, I’ve been down there for about 2 hours now. I really need to stretch my legs, and probably get something to eat,” Virgil says. Logan nods and starts to turn away. 

“Of course, I don’t mean to interrupt your plans.” Virgil grabs Logan again, his shoulder this time, and Logan turns on his heel. 

“Well, I was thinking. You said that burger place isn’t too far from campus, right?” Virgil asks. Logan gives him an odd look, and Virgil sighs. “I’m trying to ask you to get lunch with me, dork.” Logan lets out a shocked laugh. 

“As much as I appreciated the silence from earlier, I think I much prefer you like this,” Logan admits. He gestures for Virgil to walk alongside him as they walk off. 

Alright. Maybe this isn’t the worst day of Virgil’s life. Maybe, it’s actually the best. 

[cursedwateringcan]

Fucking keen as to get the new version of Friends of Mineral town, cause, let me tell ya, i’ve had a fucking month.

(It’s covid related so, i’m putting it under a cut, just incase anyone wants to stay away from that shit. Also please don’t message me anything covid related because i’m pretty stressed atm, but I think its an important thing to share because this virus presents so differently in everyone.) 

So, basically. My husband and I are back in Aus. 

It was crazy being in the UK and being in lockdown (obviously very important!) We jumped on the plane in heathrow and had to wear masks for the entire 30 hours trip (also very important!!!) 

Australia currently has a scheme for new arrivals, it’s essentially forced quarantine. Its been really good for keeping rates down since the virus was being spread by overseas traveller (except for melbs, that fucked theres up, and is now in state lockdown. google it.). The government pays to put you up for 2 weeks in a hotel, and pays for all food provided (unless you get your own). This has literally just changed overnight though and they are now charging travels for mandatory lockdown in NSW. 

So, we get to Sydney, and its to nuts to see. A Bio security agent gets on the plane and takes a head count (maybe 50 on the plane all up). We all get off and line up for a health check, where a nurse takes your temp, asks if you have any symptoms currently and gives you information about potential symptoms. Then you go through immigration, and then you get taken to the baggage area. 

I am very privilege, I’ve travelled a lot, but i’ve never seen Sydney airport so empty before. Only one baggage carousel was open, after you grab your bags, you check in with the Australian Federal Police, who sits you in seats 2 metres away from each other, and you wait there for the NSW police to escort you to buses to take you to your lockdown hotel. 

We get called, get lead to a bus, the Army was also there putting bags onto buses. Jump on the bus and off you go, they don’t tell you where you are going, but we rocked up to a very nice hotel in the CBD. After checking in again with the NSW police, you get told your room number and we were taken to the room by a solider. We weren’t given a key, because you are not allowed to leave the room for two weeks. There are security guards on every floor and police in the lobby to enforce this. All meals are dropped at your door. You can get care packages and uber eats if you want, but you cannot under any circumstances leave the room. 

A nurse calls every day to check on your mental health and for symptoms, if you say you have any of the symptoms they test you. On day 10, they give you a covid test regardless of if you are showing symptoms or not. We had ours day 10, it came back negative and then on Day 13 we had a pre departure screening with nurses and the army. Day 14 we were out. My in laws picked us up, and we went back to my home town and had a small BBQ with our friends.

I should note, btw, that this was allowed. A lot of Australia’s restrictions in NSW have eased. 

On the Sunday, we woke up, and my husband said he wasn’t feeling so good, just run down we thought, we’d just spent 2 weeks in a hotel with no fresh air, and its winter. We went to a friends house for breakfast, and on the way home he said he was feeling way more congested. I said, even though we tested negative 4 days ago, we need to get another test. So we went to a drive through clinic and got another swab to be safe, called everyone who was at the BBQ to let them know this so they could stay inside for the day, just incase. 

Literally he had no cough or fever, it was like he had a slight head cold. The next day, we got the terrible phone call to say that the test results were back, and my husband was positive for covid. I was negative. 

Obviously, extremely stressful situation, we were staying with his 60 year parents. However, NSW health organised for us both to put up in another hotel, separately. So thats were I am now. We are on day 7 of another 2 week lockdown. My husband is feeling loads better, and it seems he has an extremely mild case of it. He did develop a cough a few days ago but its pretty much gone now. If he doesn’t have symptoms for 3 days as of tomorrow then he can leave the hotel thursday. 

I am still here till next tuesday, and all our close contacts are also isolating in their houses. We are going to stay away from everyone for another week when we get out, just to be sure. 

All our close contacts are fine as well so far as. Nurses call them daily to check up on them. A few of them have had swabs due to some symptoms but all swabs have come back negative. 

My husband was also on the news because of this! My home town has been covid free for 8 weeks, so there were all these articles about an ‘international traveller’ that had returned with the virus. Luckily, we didn’t go anywhere in the community. 

Basically, moral of the story is, in these crazy fucking times, just get tested, if your country will let you. Even if you’ve just got the sniffles. Its better to be safe than sorry. 

Also extremely grateful for the way Australia is dealing with it. Its not nice to be locked in a hotel for a month, but its important to do to make sure the community is safe!!

(I have a balcony this time btw, so does my husband, so we can get fresh air and sunshine!) 

[vampyrly]

: / i need any help and/or validation for a situation im dealing with

ok heads up this is going to be potentially very long to read and get through, like possibly 10 minutes at most but it is detailed and information heavy, i dont want to leave anything out

if anyone knows me/knows me on twitter and has seen my tweets where i've detailed the bullshit my roommate has done in the past you'll know i dont particularly like their presence based on their immature and gross antics. well ladies and gentlemen just when i thought they couldn't possibly sink any lower as a person, they pulled through the shit olympics and won gold.

my roommate has a cat, they had it prior to moving in and on their account the cat has been by their side 24/7. it is very attached and has most definitely developed a form of separation anxiety because of this. there hasnt been an issue with how often they stay with their cat up until recently... their girlfriend got her own apartment and over the past few months my rm has been staying with her 24/7. as in, is practically never in the apartment. they only come back to refill their cats food/water and is immediately out the door again. occasionally they will sleep overnight but after that they are back out the door.

as anyone who understands cats or animals in general would realize, this is essentially neglecting a cat, one you have gone from being with every day, to essentially never seeing. and this was not gradual, it was a damn near sudden change. you can probably imagine this is putting a lot of confusion and stress on the cat. over time, the cat has reacted more physically. they have become prone to crying by the door, biting the gf's toes, glaring at her (i guess), and such.

now, about a week ago, the cat had bitten my roommate incredibly hard to the point of drawing a lot of blood. apparently this was so traumatic to the rm that they now refuse to even be in the same room with the cat (there have only been a handful of times where they've slipped into the room to grab an essential and shimmy back out) so much so that they brought an air mattress, set it up in the living room, and is now temporarily sleeping there. no, im not joking.

now im not going to go into detail about why this buildup from the cat occurred, i think it should be pretty obvious already why, but to my rm, they fully believe this behavior is aggressive and unusual. as in, this cat had malicious, negative intent to do harm on its owner. its owner which, up until months ago, they were so attached to and clearly loved. as a friend has pointed out, this isnt signaling aggression. this is signaling a need to get attention in any way possible. their own cat had scratched them up so bad to the point they almost had to go to the ER, but it wasnt because the cat was aggressive, it just thought it was playtime! the case is different here yes, because unlike my rm the friend actually takes care and gives attention to their cat, so this was a very rare occurrence. simply put, this cat is lacking so much stimulation, attention, and basic interaction that this, to me, felt like a last resort. because clearly, the constant cries of sadness wasnt doing anything for them. they're currently in the process of rehoming the cat and will permanently ditch it on the 28th. thats still another 5 fucking days of this cat being in these neglected conditions, and thats not counting when this started, which was 17th, 18th if were being generous on account of me misremembering the date of events because who can blame me so much has already happened its becoming difficult to keep track.

a cat that they up until this point loved and gave attention to as apparent by them claiming she is for emotional support, is being thrown out of their life without remorse over one instance of """aggression""" (dont make me explain why it wasnt again.)

my roommate knows full and well that they have every ability and every second on their hands to bring the cat with them to the gf's apartment but guess what? they simply choose not to do so! i guess those toes getting bitten was so traumatic because oh yeah may i add, the girlfriend is a massive enabler of the roommate and sees absolutely no issue to the actions they are taking in response. i doubt they even tried to properly warm the cat up to a person who is a newcomer to the relationship. im sure they both think in their heads that this is the most responsible thing they can do as pet owners and that they're such good people for rehoming a cat they cant take care of anymore. yes, nothing more responsible than neglecting an animal that needs social interaction as much as that one in particular is in dire need of. responsible pet owners would have never let it escalate to such a point, i'll have you know.

my roommate has done a lot of bullshit that has made me want to pull my hair out, but at the very least, it didnt involve a living creature. this however draws a line as i refuse to stand for animal neglect simply because im an outsider and have no direct say in the situation. i've taken as much action as i possibly can, phoning and texting and emailing as many people as i possibly can. i hesitate to say this is straight up animal abuse because as firm as i can be i try to give people the benefit of the doubt BUT. i will say that every single person i have relayed all of this info to thus far has told me that this is grounds for animal abuse.

yesterday i ran into my rm and they told me "heyyy sorry about her crying constantly, its just not possible for me to be in there whatsoever!" and when i asked if they have someone refilling the bowls and litter on their behalf they said "nope just me" ????????? simultaneously on the same day i said fuck it, i am going to break out the secret key i have to their room to check on the cat. yes i have a key to their room, i have never used it until now and if you want to ignore everything thus far to give me some shit about trust or whatever consider: i dont fucking care. as it turns out the food and water bowls are the type that automatically refill. so, hmmm. theres that part out of the way, but of course, you cannot put in a machine to automatically interact with a cat on the level of a human. as for the litter, i couldnt see since i didnt step more than a foot into the room as to not impede boundaries on the cat and i didnt want my roommate to suddenly come home to me knees deep in their shithole. it was probably in the closet but then how is that being cleaned? those automatic cleaning cat litter boxes dont come cheap and i know damn well they cannot afford one. and may i just add as a tidbit, the room has a sitting scent of pee. though seeing as how gross my roommate can get im betting its just them and not the cat. also that room was cold as fuck. were at 60-70s right now in terms of weather right now it does not need to be that cold......

here is a video i was able to capture. i mounted my phone on a monopod in order to get a scope of the room without stepping in too far.

i decided that the least i can do at the moment is to head out to dollar tree and get a toy or two so i can at least provide some amount of stimulation. before i left, i checked on her again.

she was just laying there, keeping her distance, and didnt lurch at me whatsoever. i came back with a feather wand and played with her for a couple of minutes. she responded a little to it, but for the most part she was peering out the door wondering where the hell her so called responsible owner was. i took my sweater off and let the cat sniff it. i have zero relationship with this cat, infact its the first time i've ever properly seen it as it is locked in the bedroom 24/7.

now you may be asking yourself, why is this cat locked away in a room 24/7 like rapunzel locked in her tower and not roaming freely in the open apartment? i too would like an answer to this! i rarely spend any time in the living room but even if i did i have NO issue with it chilling in there.

someone i phoned did bring up a good point that for AS to consider a legitimate case of abuse or even do anything, there'd need to be no food or water. so essentially, unless you're straight up physically harming an animal outside of their headquarters they dont fucking care. want to be proven further on that? my rm actually did speak with AS at the start of bite-saga. surprisingly they werent 100% truthful, and, get a load of this, they told them that the cat potentially has a virus, and that they need to be quarantined the entire 2 week period. thats some lying bullshit if i've ever heard some!!! not only that, just a few hours ago i peeped the girlfriend had the vet get back to them about lending a muzzle!

SO. heres the current situation as of today and what will occur to tomorrow: i finally phoned someone who is going to drop by the apartment tomorrow, potentially with another person (these are not random people, im simply keeping their status as anonymous as possible to maintain their privacy) to check on the cats conditions. they'll also call AS again and nudge the rm in a way where it seems AS needs them to expedite the surrendering process sooner than later. i cant imagine another 5 days of this going on, but theres only so much that can be done that doesnt involve me straight up catknapping the poor thing and rehoming her myself. this is the condition of the cat as of a few hours ago:

if i were someone uninvolved and saw this, i would have assumed she were a stray that broke into the room........

i try not to be petty and villainous, but a line has been crossed and the disgusting mistreatment of an innocent creature is a crime i refuse to allow be sweeped under the rug. if theres any benefit to living in a relatively small town, its that everyone knows or at least recognizes everyone. far too many people already get away with animal abuse, at the very least i can make as many people here as aware of their antics as i can. is that wrong to do? should i not air all that i can out about them? im so tired and exhausted. i've lost so much sleep over this and im probably going to lose a lot more. thanks for reading.

[shibalen]

💥hewwo can I pwease get a romantic male matchup for bnha (darkbox bc I live for angst) (music box) when you have the time uwu

Levi he/him gay entp supposedly (also if it's not too much to ask please no characters under the age of 18 please)

I've been described as having a strong and loud personality, I'm extroverted and outspoken. I'm pretty eccentric too.

I value friendship, kindness and standing up for others.

Goal wise I'm pretty aimless. I dont have any goals, if I die well I guess that's it babey. In the meantime I'm just here to help animals and people who need it.

Positive traits: I always stick up for people in need, I'm good at reading people, I'm good with animals, I love to make people smile and laugh, cheerful, good at talking my way out of bad situations, uhm. Friendly!

Negative traits would be: hot headed, loud, stubborn, arrogant, comes across as intimidating:( good at getting into bad situations, gets into fights very often. Can be spiteful, I've been described as a pyromaniac so theres that. Can be sadistic

What pisses me off: my father. I can and will cause trouble for that man for as long as I live. And people who pick on the weak.

My hobbies and interests areeee: true crime babey! Crying over video games, baking, the occult, taking naps, dream interpretations and tarot readings

Likes: animals, cats specifically, stars, fire, sunsets, supposedly haunted places, storms, being dramatic for the hell of it, tormenting people in a good hearted way

Dislikes: uhhhh hot weather I guess.

Quirks: uh I have 5 cats! Ones my fathers but he never takes care of his cat so i pretty much count him as my own (plus he likes me more than my dad and it pisses my dad off hehe) I have weirdly accurate intuition, it makes reading people easy, knowing what they want to hear and what they dont.

Uhhh dates and relationship wise I'm honestly happy doing whatever my s/o wants to do. All I want is to see their face light up.

My love language is physical touch, I dont like touching people but if it's someone I feel strongly about youd have to pry me away from them.

I once got kicked out of a library for starting a fight in it, trashy I know but I wasnt going to stand there and do nothing while my friends were being bullied and pressured into getting involved with a really dodgy man. I scared the bullies off for good at least B) they never bothered my friend again babey

Oh I'm also known around the area I live in as someone who's good at finding homes of lost pets. Often times I come across a lost animal and befriend it in no time and use my connections to find its family.

Sorry if this was rly long and thank you for your time!! I hope you have a fantastic day uwu if anything's too difficult to come up with ideas for I'm more than happy for you to change anything to make it easier for you too!

♡︎ matchup for anon

heya! here i am with another late matchup but i hope you still see this. i'm sorry about the delay (╯_╰)

bnha: i match you with . . .

natsuo todoroki !!

• this was one of those "heureka!" moments for me. you both hate your dads and hot weather? it's a match made in heaven! okay jk, these are just nice add-ons.

• what really made me consider Natsuo were your values and personality. kindness and friendships are important to both of you. Natsuo's a medical student so i am convinced helping others is high on his priority list too. he loves your driven and passionate nature because he doesn't go sugarcoating bs either.

• you're definitely the more energetic one while Natsuo only gets hot-headed about the things that are the most important to him. i think it's a good compromise, you can help each other out :)

• he was a little taken aback and cautious of your explosiveness at first but warmed up to it quickly after learning what a kind person you really were. now he thinks your dramatic attitude is funny during your sillier moments ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

• speaking of, you lads met at an animal shelter. there had been a dog that was astray in the neighbourhood of his home, so Natsuo, being a responsible boyo, took it to the local shelter.

• then there you were, standing by the help desk with five kittens wrapped in your jacket in your arms. apparently someone had been trying to drown them so you'd taken care of the situation accordingly.

• Natsuo understood jumping into a lake to rescue the poor animals because he would have done the same, but you could have had just called the police?? it was extremely ridiculous but admirable at the same time to beat all those guys up.

• your chat turned into a pleasant conversation afterwards as you were waiting for the animals to finish their check-ups. Natsuo was a bit shy but you didn't mind and kept the chat going which he appreciated.

• later he volunteered to help you look for good homes for the animals you'd both found. during this project the two of you got to know each other quite well and ended up hanging out together afterwards!

• and from that point on, everything fell into place naturally. the growing spark between you was undeniable and you both knew it. Natsuo definitely liked you longer, he was just a lil dense about it . . .

• you're nothing short of a hero in his eyes but dear lord he worries for you. when he's attending lectures he sometimes can't help but wonder if you're all right and not getting involved in anything violent.

• attends to your possible injuries while nagging you not to be so quick to start a fight next time. in return, you playfully bully him for being such a mom.

• you join forces with Fuyumi to pick on him about your relationship. even though you're already together, soft Natsuo still blushes when his affection for you is brought up, it's entertaining for both you and Fuyumi.

• idk if you've heard but Natsuo's 181cm tall!! hugging someone has never been easier even if you happen to be taller than him. the only thing is his skin's naturally kind of chilly so he's lowkey worried if you dislike it but you always assure him he's perfect!

• one time he was stressed over exams so you baked him some blueberry muffins. he gave you the biggest hug and kiss because it's exactly all these little things you do that set his heart racing for you ♡︎

• "last night i saw a dream about being a frog and eating giant flies, it was gross."

• "oh, that just means your love life is about to become fun."

• "i'm not sure how those two are related."

• "just trust me. i'm a pro at this."

• he also likes giving you headpats as much as he likes receiving them! his hands are quite big so he often runs his fingers through your hair when you're cuddling or hugging. it's especially relaxing after a long period of studying. also him carring you on his broad back ԅ(￣ε￣ԅ)

• you enjoy the little things in life and complain about your fathers together. you've agreed to wait a while before even mentioning your relationship to them because, honestly, Natsuo doesn't want any more horrible influences in your life.

• you get him sucked into the world of video games. it's always fun to watch him struggle but he never gets salty about losing maybe a lil he adores your smile as you laugh at him for being so bad at them.

• your dates include: helping out at animal shelters and retirement homes, video game and movie nights (especially about true crime), arcades and astronomy tower explorstions. i feel like Natsuo's more into traditional, romantic and chill dates and that's your usual thing. though i see sometimes you going to get coffee and ending up solving a 50-year-old murder case instead (✧ω✧)

❦︎ ink box

— despite Natsuo's best efforts to distance himself from Endeavor, it wasn't quite as easy and everyone was very much aware of the Todoroki family. and now the son of the number 1 hero had a lover.

— it wasn't actually that troublesome at first. some newpaper paparazzi occasionally annoyed you but you didn't care for them. most of the time Natsuo and you had your peace during dates aside from a few casual fans.

— but of course there are all sorts of people out there, some out for revenge, some for money, and being desperate means using even the lowest of methods to get what you want.

— so one time it happened, and it was all that took. several bitter villains thought they'd get their revenge through you, silly as it may sound. they made a big show of kidnapping you and demanding Endeavor to 'make up' for his wrongdoing. but all got resolved thanks to heroes, the only casualty being Natsuo's heart from almost exploding from worry and his deepening hatred for his father.

— later on, it wasn't that Natsuo was worried about you not being able to handle yourself, he feared what might happen if more of powerful villains came after you.

— so, after some debate, you agreed not to meet up for a short while to let the fuse of the incident settle down. it would be safer once the media forgot about it. you still texted and chatter over phone though!

— but then a week turned into two weeks, then into a month. you were wondering what was taking Natsuo to say the coast was clear and did a straight-up inquiry through a video chat.

— you could see he was restless the entire time. he said you should wait longer just to be sure everything was calm before meeting up. you became irritated because he was obviously lying and not being his normal, brutally honest self.

— why was he giving you this crap straight to your face?

— truthfully, Natsuo hadn't been sleeping all right recently. ever since that day he had reoccurring nightmares about something awful happening to you. they were just dreams, he knew. yet considering his ruffled up past and the frequency of those horrible visions, it would have been lie to say he was unaffected.

— paranoia just wouldn't leave him alone, and no matter how much he wanted to hold you in his arms again and hated making up stupid excuses, the voice at the back of his mind whispered this was for the best.

— after a month and a half had passed you've had just about enough, however. whatever reason he was keeping you in the dark for did no longer stop you from crashing into his house and demanding the truth.

— Natsuo knew you and expected this to eventually happen. after you made such a powerful entrance though he also knew there was no getting around it this time. really, it was comforting knowing you cared so deeply.

— he told you exactly what had been happening and you resisted the urge to punch him in the arm for having such a mindset. but the look in his beautiful grey eyes was so heartbreaking you threw yourself to embrace him instead. your touch was everything Natsuo had craved for for all this time.

— you skillfully assured him for the next couple of hours while keeping the talk light-hearted (he had obviously been overthinking way too much already). soon enough the issue was resolved and you had a sleepover right there to make uo for the lost time (Shoto and Fuyumi kept eavesdropping on you because y'all were being way too loud in a cute way).

— "i love you, Natsu, but if you ever keep something like this a secret from me again, i can't guarantee the safety of your arm or your front door."

♫︎ music box

— If I Had An Airplane by SayWeCanFly

— This December by Rick Montgomery

— Round & Laundry from Carole and Tuesday

— Haven't Had Enough by Marianas Trench

— Bowie On The Radio by Ryan McMullan

♡︎ runner up: Dabi / Touya Todoroki

thank you for requesting, hopefully you enjoyed this! i'm really pleased about matching you with Natsuo, it's just so perfect. have a lovely day and remember to take care of yourself ♡︎

[madisonrooney]

hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?

sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!

first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!

im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)

- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit.  ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.

- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.

- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.

- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.

for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.

the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.

- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.

i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.

even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.

- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.

[alwaysanotherrainbow]

my boyfriend never texts first

Remus just wants to not be the first one to send a message every once in a while. That’s not too much to ask, right?

relationship: romantic remrom, background remy and emile (also romantic)

warnings: major character death, extended mourning (secondary warnings- brief discussion of religious holidays, brief underage drinking mention, a lot of all-caps) notes: unrelated, human, hs/college au. virgil, emile, and remy are here too. If you need anything in the secondary warnings (or one of those latter three characters) edited out, please let me know and I can put that up for you!

____________________________________________________

Remus always texted him first. Always. It didn’t matter the situation, didn’t matter the time date place name face. Who what when where why. It first started when he texted hi roman :) when they first got phones; for whatever reason, Roman just never texted first. Either he’d call or they’d talk in person.

No matter. Remus could cope.

May 1:

8:37 PM tody i saw you by my locker 8:39 PM *today 8:42 PM why didnt you say hi?

May 2:

9:30 PM a teacher talked to me today 9:30 PM wanted to talk about how i’m doing after 9:52 PM well you know. he’s a sick bastard

Really, it wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? He just wanted to see him text first once in a while! May 7:

3:32 PM: by the way idk if you got this last time 3:36 PM: my class ring size is the medium 3:44 PM: hopefully you order it by the deadline :P 4:03 PM: no idea when the deadline is 4:20 PM: bLAZE IT 4:24 PM: sorry i have like 0 money so i got it from the consignment shop 4:31 PM: i hope you like synthetic rubies!! leaving them with ur dad 10:40 PM: update. i cried for four hours with your dad.

June 2:

7:30 AM: gRaDuAtIoN dAy!!! 7:32 AM: there’s cookies in the reception menu 7:35 AM: snickerdoodles your favorite [eyes] 10:02 AM: i’m getting some for u 10:05 AM: [kissy face] 7:40 PM: the announcement was Weird 7:43 PM: anyways i have the snickerdoodles (Remus couldn’t go over to where Roman was staying, so he left them in the living room. He knew Roman would appreciate them. Hopefully he’d come over (wait, probably not, given...))

Well, actually, he could understand why he never texted first. June 11:

12:14 PM: roMAN 12:16 PM: [Attachment: Remus_Picani-Kleitman_Acceptance_Letter.pdf] 12:18 PM: YEAHHHH 12:24 PM: I’m sure you got in too SEND ME YOURS WHEN YOU GET IT 12:32 PM: WE MIGHT SHARE A ROOM YEA 12:35 PM: [Attachment: celebration.jpg]

Everyone was probably saying that he ought to just move on, but to be honest, he couldn’t... Actually, to be honest, no-one had told him to move on to his face yet. In fact, everyone was surprised he was doing so well, given how bad the circumstances were! The situation was stressing him out so much, even his dads were gently advising him to rethink things. (Well, that was part of the territory with one of them being a therapist and the other being a barista.)

“I got y’all some kouign-amann from the cafe,” said Dad, putting it down on the counter. His shirt had SLEEP scrawled on it with a Sharpie; it was the one that Remus had made for him as a joke. He still wore it. Huh.

“Sweetie, what’s a queen amahn?” asked Papa.

“It’s a... er, it’s like a... this is kinda like a croissant that had dreams of a muffin tin and salted caramel. One for you, babe.... then one for Doodlebug-”

“Can I leave some for Roman?” asked Remus.

They exchanged a glance.

“Of course you can,” said Papa with a smile. “Your candle’s on the table. Also, I got the news about being accepted into university? Good job, kiddo. You know, that was your father’s alma mater.”

“Are you sure you want to go to school right away after...? No problem taking a gap year.”

Papa glared at Dad. “Be nice.”

“I’m sorry, Remus, it’s just...” Dad put down his coffee. “If you’re not ready, if you need more time-”

"I’m sure,” said Remus with a grin, trying to get rid of what he just remembered. “Trust me.”

“Please find a good way to put away the snickerdoodles, they’ve been there since last week!” shouted Papa.

June 12:

12:12 AM: its twelve twelve make a wish 12:15 AM: hey when does your phone bill go out? 12:20 AM: im just saying that would Explain some things 12:22 AM: i know your dad pays Everything like a year in advance 12:34 AM: tell him i say hi 12:34 AM: 12:34 MAKE A WISH

July 12:

3:30 PM: guess who’s a double major in bio and theatre!! 3:32 PM: marine biology babey 3:53 PM: it’s good for the SOUL 4:04 PM: this cute octopus reminded me of you by the way 4:10 PM: [Attachment: for_roman]

August 14:

6:24 PM: moving in is the Worst 6:32 PM: by the way i got a single 6:35 PM: no roommates 6:41 PM: still have the bunk tho 6:44 PM: also got ur favorite pillo

August 30:

2:12 AM: roman it is like two o’clock in the morning what the Heck are you doing here, 2:15 AM: if u see me wave Hi 2:32 AM: ok >:c 2:42 AM: dont mind Me just studyin on top of the planetarium 3:15 AM: tbh i didn’t even know we go to the same campus? haven’t seen you around or anything 3:17 AM: shit phones gonna di

September 28:

2:20 PM: i failed my test 2:22 PM: idk what to d 2:24 PM: *do

September 29: 7:30 PM: remember that octopus you gave me that eats negative emotions? 7:32 PM: it works!!

October 3:

1:10 PM:  You’d like the theatre program, really 1:15 PM: just so u know they’ve listed your name as an ‘honorary member of the class of’ 1:19 PM: that’s really nice of them. idk if your dad knows

October 23:

9:45 AM: i had to explain one of our inside jokes 8( 9:52 AM: i can’t Explain the deodorant thing that was One Time 9:55 AM: also why i’m called The Duke 9:56 AM: its bc you said it. not my fault 9:58 AM: its still cute pls call me that still 9:59 AM: pancake brunch pancake brunch pancake brunch October 31: 6:12 PM: sun’s down! joyous samhain 6:15 PM: i remember when you sewed me that octopus btw, the one that eats ucky feelings 6:19 PM: how long did it take you to get the laurel sachet into it?? 6:34 PM: also thank you thank you thank you for helping me find a friendly church to celebrate all saints day 6:47 PM: that year was a NIGHTMARE because you forgot to get your white candles and carnelian, and i forgot my holy water, so we were driving around town like Madmen 6:59 PM: it was worth it though 7:03 PM: i left you a script, i think you’ll like it.

November 9:

11:19 PM: i miss you so so much.

November 10:

12:20 AM: ignor this i drank like 12:24 AM: a lot 1:15 AM: i’m sorry i should’ve been with you 1:22 AM: i shouldve been there With You. 1:45 AM: but i wasn’t 2:20 AM: i didn’t know thered be a 4:11 PM: shit i just saw these. Sorry to bother you December 2:

10:10 AM: hey roman, been a bit. yea sorry about last time. too much of the Alcohol 10:13 AM: gonna go over to my parents’ house 1:00 PM: if you wanna come over, you can. dad’s making snickerdoodles and papa’s gonna watch atla (yes i still have that dvd you got me do not @ me it’s with your candles on your table just like everything else) 1:03 PM: that was on the dot, i’m happy.

December 21

8:34 AM: hey, it’s snowing 9:13 AM: couldn’t help leaving you some hot cocoa. and snickerdoodles of course 10:12 AM: i love you Remus went to go help his dads with making breakfast, but by the time everyone was done cleaning and they had finished watching some shitty Hallmark movie, he remembered that he had left his phone upstairs. Going upstairs and looking at it, he felt something in him break.

[2 Unread: Roman <3, bf’s dad]

10:22 AM, Roman <3: Why are you texting this number? 11:15 AM, bf’s dad: Remus, disregard that last, I’m so sorry. I just found his phone and I saw only the recent message first

The phone started ringing. Remus answered it as quickly as he could.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Sanders I didn’t know that someone was actually getting these messages I thought the line was out,” he said within a few seconds before the person on the other side sighed.

“No, it’s quite all right. And Virgil’s all right, by the way, if you prefer. I... I was just looking through his things for the first time. You know, it being a holiday and all... Memories, things like that.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“I just turned the phone back on, I’m getting a lot of messages.”

“Oh.” Remus stared at the wall, trying to come to terms with everything. “Well, I--”

“I’m not going to stop paying for his phone. I’m sorry, I just... I still have his voicemails on it, and I can’t stand the thought of it going offline either.”

“Right, I... I listen to it too.”

“I happened upon the last one he sent to you.”

“You looked at the messages?”

“I only looked over when I stopped getting new ones, but I saw the last question he sent you. For your ring size.”

“Yeah? He asked my ring size so that he could--”

“There’s no easy way to say this, but.. I found something of his. Can you come over?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t, but can you please tell me what it was? Please?”

“I really think I should tell you this in person.”

“Please, Mr. Sanders. Please, I... I can’t manage that.”

He sighed. “All right, Remus. I found an early acceptance letter to SJAU, and... and a ringbox.”

Remus felt his grasp on the phone grow weak. It fell onto the bed, Mr. Sanders’ voice still clear.

“I think he was going to ask for you to....”

“No, we... We were just out of high school, I-- that doesn’t make sense.”

“He always was one for those romantic gestures. There’s some poems here, too. A life-plan. I’m not sure exactly what malacology is, but--”

“Mollusks. Like octopi and squids.. Sorry for cutting you off, what was that?”

“Some of it’s in your handwriting, but one of the entries is ‘ask him’, for the day after... you know.”

God, he could hear his sad smile through the phone. He knew exactly how Mr. Sanders looked right now just talking to him, probably wearing that hoodie that was too big on him, in a dusty room full of things that used to belong to the most vibrant person that Remus had ever met.

But then Roman had died.

He was the most wonderful person, and he had just died.

“I’ll come over to deliver the ring to you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s... that’s fine. Uh, call my dads first, though. They’re still not convinced I’m doing okay.”

“I understand. I’ll talk to you later, Remus.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sanders.”

The line went dead in his hands.

Remus held himself and wept.

December 28:

12:30 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: Mr. Sanders, would you like to come over for our New Year’s party? 12:34 PM, Remus Picani-Kleitman: It’s a tradition we had. You don’t have to if you’d rather not. 12:45 PM, Virgil Sanders: I’d love to go.

January 1:

12:00 AM: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! 12:05 AM: [Attachment: :)] 12:07 AM: we are all smiling in this photo and for that i think we deserve a hug. 12:10 AM: this rings the most beuatifl thing i’ve ever fuckign seen. thank you,, 12:14 AM: never gonna get rid of it <3 12:16 AM: it looks Good on my finger 12:30 AM: jsyk your dad’s asking my dads for the kouign amann recipe 12:32 AM: thats a pastry, i left those for u a while back 12:39 AM: okay i’m crying a bit but honestly, i love u 12:44 AM: I love you so so so much, Roman

Somewhere out there, whether it was from some wonderful paradise or beyond the veil or even only in wishful thoughts, Remus knew that someone was saying I love you too.

[amelianamendes]

Surprise visit

Reader visits shawn on tour as he is struggiling and trying to pull through

This is my first fanfiction 

 Shawn was on tour in South America, the final leg of Shawn Mendes The Tour. He was struggling, tired, upset tour was almost over, anxious to make it memorable and finish on a high but above all he miss you like hell. You are his light in his dark, his positive energy when he feels negative, you always find a way to put a smile on his face even by doing the simplest things which he adores about you.

You were back home in Canada working in a coffee shop to get some extra money for Shawns Christmas present you got him some small things but wanted to get a bracelet engraved with “I will always love you” but the A written like the deathly hallows for your shared love of Harry Potter, you missed him dearly and could tell he was too by the amount of facetime calls you got daily as well as text messages when you were unable to talk.

Shawn had been counting down the days to when he would see you again and text you every morning with “10 days till I see you!♥” etc. you had decided the bracelet would be better for your anniversary so instead you brought a ticket to South America and would surprise Shawn at his next show M&G.

You texted Cez and arranged everything when you landed you saw a bunch of texts from Shawn

Imessage from Shawny: hey babe!

Imessage from Shawny: I’m nervous to play the show todayi don’t know why I think it’s because I didn’t sleep well last night and that it might affect my performance, call me when you can I don’t head to the arena until 11, just wanna hear your voice, love you♥

You were about to text him back but realised you should wait until it’s a reasonable time in Toronto otherwise he would worry why your up early, so instead you head to the hotel and have a quick shower.

Half an hour later theres a knock at your door you open it and find Cez standing there you welcome him in and he gives you passes to the show for V.I.P and Access all areas with “ Y/N”  and a picture of you and shawn hugging on the front so security know it’s yours. He tells you that they will leave the hotel at 10:30 to head to arena and to wait in here before exploring as to try to not get caught by Shawn and the fans, he also says a car will collect you and bring you to the arena for the M&G which you are so excited to surprise Shawn, Cez leaves and you decide to text Shawn back as it now 8 am which is when you would normally get up for work.

Imessage to Shawny: hi baby, why didn’t you sleep well?, I’m sure you will perform just fine you always do!

Imessage from Shawny: can I call you?

Imessage to Shawny: of course, I need my daily dose of your voice

Imessage from Shawny: mmm I love when you say things like that, it’s cute

*skip phone call*

After talking to Shawn he had to leave to head to the arena, luckily your room has a view of the front of the hotel so you have some breakfast consisting of a cappuccino, acai bowl, and some water whilst enjoying watching the fans go crazy as they see Shawn approaching you hear them chanting Shawn el ti amo, Shawn el ti amo ” over and over you can see the back of him wearing a white shirt rolled at the elbow, blue skinny jeans (your absolute favourite) and some trainers, you love when he wears blue jeans he always wears black and once for april fools you hid all his black jeans so he was forced to wear blue he wasn’t happy but found it cute.

*flash back to april fools*

“babe!, babe! Where the fuck are my black jeans” “April fools Shawn guess you gotta wear blue today” you say appearing from the kitchen, you didn’t realise he picked the Calvin ones and was also shirtless, you knew he’d been to the gym but boy, you internally died as well as staring, you didn’t realise he was right in front of you until he said “babe, I know my face is extremely good looking and hard to tell which part of my body it is coz it all looks great, but wouldn’t the hair give it away?” he gives a small chuckle and smirks, god that smirk! “sorry, gyms been doing you well” “gotta be strong, protect my girl”

*end of flashback*

Once Shawn had left for the arena you still have plenty time so you decide on an outfit for later and decide to wear some blue ripped skinny jeans, pastel pink bralette (his favourite) and a white shirt tied with a bow, and of course converse.

You take a walk around running into some fans who scream your name “Y/N!  Y/N!, OMG”, you run over to them and ask them if they could not post they saw you “hi guys, I’m planning to surprise Shawn today during the m&g so please could you guys not post you saw me until after?” “yeah of course” “he’ll be so happy” you take photos with them and carry on exploring, you find a cute café and have some lunch then head back to the hotel afterwards to get ready.

Brian texts you to say he’s in the car at the front.

Imessage from Bria: hey at the front in the car

Imessage to Brian: ok be there in a minute

You had become good friends with Brian when Shawn would go to LA to write the albums, you often would hang out with him playing fifa so you could beat Shawns ass, going to bars or just chilling watching a film.

You arrive at the arena and get in line at the back some fans see you and you whisper “I’m surprising Shawn” they all smile and contine their conversations, you start talking to some in front and didn’t realise it was almost your turn, you go through the museum and admire how beautiful it is rembering when Shawn was telling you the idea for it, you can just make out him say “hi hun…..thank you so much, enjoy the show” over the music, Jake pulls back the curtain and mouths “you ready?” you nod your head and walk past the curtain, you see Shawn and he just stares at you in shock, a smile slowy forming and getting bigger and bigger, tears start to form in his eyes and barley whispers “babe?!” you don’t speak but walk straight into his arms he wraps them tightly around you and you both stand there swaying slightly to the music happy tears rolling down your cheeks.

You take a step back but immediately  pulled back into him, boy he’s strong. After he composed himself he asks when you got here, why you’re here but immediately saying he’s glad you are and long your staying, you say only a couple days and that it’s an early Christmas gift coz he missed you and you missed him too, you walk back to his dressing room before he does q&a which involves lots of kissing, hand holding, admiring your outfit and saying how much he loves you, all while that smile never leaves his face.

The show was amazing and so was later at the hotel room…

@sunrise-shawn @theshawnmendesstorycollection

[ottorocket808]

Chapter Three: Holly, Jolly

Barb should’ve left Nancy’s ass. Off top what the hell happened?! Her nose is bleeding she just coughed up some weird liquid there’s slime everywhere but I am surprised she didn’t try to wipe off her glasses most people who wear glasses can’t see for shit without them pair that with the fact that The Upside Down is so dark you’d think she’d try to wipe off her glasses so she could at least kinda see. Screaming when you don’t know where you are is always a bad idea I’m pretty sure if she had just quickly and quietly climbed out and found somewhere to hide she’d be fine but she didn’t. Damn, Nancy lost her virginity and her ‘best friend’ was killed at the same time.

I wonder if Nancy thinks her mom forgot that she left in a sweater with her coat when she came back in a sweatshirt it was cold enough that she needed the sweatshirt but where’s your coat Nancy?

Joyce really does look a lil off sitting on Wills bed surrounded by lamps like I as the damn near omniscient viewer knows why but nobody else does. If Jonathan was around when the weird things happen he’d believe her. *cough* you know instead of stalking the popular kids. *cough*

Lucas made me want a wrist rocket but his plan has one major flaw the Demogorgon doesn’t have eyes for him to blind I wonder if it uses echolocation to see. My baby Dustin coming in clutch with the snacks which in all honesty is a great idea think about it let’s say Will was lost in the woods they have something to give him immediately in terms of food although he’d probably want water more at this point it’s been at least 3 days since he had a drink. Who puts a watch on someone without fastening it? Did he just teach El how to tell time? At least on a digital watch.

Is a trapper keeper a brand of binder or just what they used to call them?

Nancy, Barb is dead in the upside down she ain’t coming to school today, but quick question is Nancy Barbs only friend? Because ol girl saying she should know says to me that she’s the only one she hangs out with.

I’m surprised the MP actually tried to be helpful instead of stonewalling like I’m fairly certain that he was supposed to do.

Casual flex with the powers again I dig it and Mike should’ve known better 8 hours in the basement with nothing to do not happening at least she didn’t leave. She is adorable miming the dial tone. I wonder how long somebody would have to be in one of those tanks before they could crush a can with their mind.

Ah! Theres the dog but this is how you let people think that you agree with their terms while completing your own mission Joyce ain’t playin with these lights her baby is talking to her using them uh oh we need more wait is that Christmas music they normally hold off until after thanksgiving to start playing that and 17 boxes of lights and a cordless phone later this woman is serious.

They didn’t even use a night that it rained I know they weren’t gonna show the actual night but at least pick a tape that’s less suspicious. So I have the subtitles on and they keep saying low growling when the gate is shown so I wonder if that’s the Mindflayer in the background also their winch is too slow to be helpful.

I wonder if the DVDs have the deleted scenes I heard about one in particular from El being in Nancy’s room looking around she read her diary and apparently Nancy loves Steve but uh I doubt that she does she just thinks she does.

I wonder if El knows Barb is in the Upside Down.

Steve’s ‘friends’ are assholes.

But Lucas is gonna be acting the same way Mike does about El when a girl pays him an ounce of attention.

People really should watch what they say around their kids sidenote I can’t wait for this kid to go away every time him and his lackey pop up. Mike could’ve bit through his tongue because of what that asshat did.

Did Jonathan think he was the only one who was allowed to use the room because if it’s open to everybody without scheduled time slots him developing his creepy pictures in the darkroom where anybody could see was stupid.

It don’t seem like Karen and Joyce hang out I wonder if either of them actually has friends.

So it seems like Hop is a thot.

The lights are a great alarm system but it’s an awful place for a little kid to be with the Demogorgon climbing through walls and whatnot.

This is probably the most obvious way to say ‘I have no idea where your daughter is and I haven’t seen her since yesterday’

Nah Jonathan you started the night by looking for him you ended it being creepy as all hell don’t blame that on Wills disappearance. Bonus if you don’t destroy the negatives he still has access to the creepy pictures.

Why is she pretty much freaking out while waiting by the power lines? Was he about to zap her with a cattle prod for not wanting to go to solitary confinement because she didn’t want to kill a cat? Whatever you get after for even thinking about attacking a child you deserve. His relationship with her is manipulative and feels... fucked up is the only phrasing I can think of that emphatically says what I feel and stop caressing her head like that it’s creepy.

Tommy H and Carol still suck but they suck while TRYING to sound cool.

Quick question how the hell does El know what it’s like to be picked on? Were some of the soldiers making fun of her or something? Or maybe she understands him being embarrassed.

I do wonder what brought the Demogorgon out in broad daylight because Nancy ain’t bleeding there was no reason for it to be out.

I wonder what Will thought when he went to the Upside Down version of his house and saw the lights everywhere.

Tryna convince someone to see something that they don’t wanna see is an uphill battle Hop not everybody is meant to see conspiracies even if they are obvious. I wonder if that bracelet he’s wearing is one his daughter made for him.

It’s kinda funny that they didn’t notice that El shouldn’t know where Wills house is. if they gave her some time she might’ve been able to get him out but noooo. Because right after they leave he tells Joyce the same the thing El told the boys he’s right here.

If I was El I’d be confused because she knows where he is she can see him but now here’s this body.