#like these texts do make me unexplainably happy

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

Request: Bucky had a bad day at work and his girlfriend (the reader) tries to comfort him and he yells at her without realizing it and makes her cry and she gives him the silent treatment and he buys her flowers to show her how sorry he is and tells her how much he loves her

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: harsh words, angsty feelings, mentions of death

It wasn't easy being the person sitting at home waiting. The days were long and the nights even longer. Tonight was no different. He didn't get home until 1am but it was your day off and you'd had a lie in, so you were happy to sit on the sofa and wait up. Even though Bucky had specifically told you not to wait for him when he had texted that they had gotten back safely to base camp.

You looked at your watch for the umpteenth time. Debriefs normally never took this long and you hoped that there wasn't a problem. A myriad of possibilities ran through your mind about the reasons for his delay. What if he was hungry? What if he was thirsty? He would definitely be tired. You didn't want to think about the possibility of injury.

Instead of letting the cacophony of thoughts overwhelm you, you decided to get up and put together a few food and drink options in case Bucky did want something before bed.

You'd just laid out his favorite muffin on a plate when you heard the key in the front door and your disheveled boyfriend trudged into the apartment. He froze suddenly at the sight of you in his kitchen.

“What’re you doing here?” His voice was strained, almost like he wasn't expecting to see you.

“I know you said not to wait for you, but I thought you might be hungry… or thirsty,” you shrugged. “I made-”

Your voice tapered off as you saw the scowl on his face. His jaw moved from side to side before he chose to walk away silently. Bucky stalked into the bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

You were left standing in a state of bewilderment, drowning in a state of inner turmoil. Had you said or done something to upset him? In an attempt to calm your mind, you tried to tidy up the table a little, only succeeding in moving a few things around before the bathroom door opened behind you. 

“Why are you still here? You weren't supposed to be here.” He sounded angry and oh so tired.

“Do you want me to go?” you asked meekly, shrinking under his glare.

“It's too late.”

“It's fine.” You knew you weren't wanted, so you grabbed your bag and made your way to the door.

You'd only managed to open the door a fraction of an inch when you felt Bucky brush against your back. He reached over you and slammed the door closed. Surprisingly, his actions didn't frighten you, despite the force he had just used. You were, however, concerned by his unexplained outburst. Bucky had never raised his voice at you, he was always so sweet and gentle. There was almost a reluctance when it came to sex, like he was afraid that his strength would hurt you. 

“What are you going to do? Walk? At this time of night?” His voice was laced with poison and it cut you like a knife.

Shit you hadn't brought your car. You definitely didn't want to walk outside alone at 2.30am.

“Well, you've made it pretty clear you don't want me here.”

“I-” 

You weren’t sure if it was the look on your face, or your scathing tone but he seemed to be at a loss for words. You slipped past your boyfriend and stalked over to his couch.

“What’re you doing?” he grumbled, watching you fluffing the cushions to use as a makeshift pillow.

“I'll just stay here, you go to bed.”

“Just come and sleep in the bed,” he said through gritted teeth.

“I'm fine here.”

“I'm not going unless you come too.”

You bit your lower lip, there was nothing you wanted more at this point than to rage back at him, to point out how awful his behavior was, to let him know how awful he had made you feel, but there was something in his expression that stopped you. Your outrage was replaced by an overwhelming sadness. 

“Fine,” you huff before getting up and sliding past Bucky into the bedroom.

Climbing onto your usual side of the bed, you curled up at the very edge, facing away from Bucky. Even though your rational mind told you that there must be a reason for his demeanor, your amygdala couldn't help but exert its influence and soon silent tears were coating your cheeks as well as soaking the pillow.

What you didn't notice was Bucky's small sighs as you tried to stifle the sound of your sniffles. He rolled over on his back and tried to focus on something other than the pain he had caused you. For some reason this made him angrier than he was before, but not at you. He had never been angry at you, just surprised. Your presence had been unexpected. He had wanted to drown his sorrows in a scalding hot shower and not have to speak to anyone. It would have been nice to lie in bed, wrapped in your loving arms…

Bucky groaned quietly. He had taken out every one of his frustrations out on you, the one person he loved most in the world. You had always accepted every part of him, and in his heart of hearts, he knew you would accept the secret he had come home with. Bucky had no one to blame but himself for this mistake.

He turned his face to you, calling your name softly, but you couldn’t quite bring yourself to respond. Instead you chose to close your eyes and shut out the world and the pain. Eventually your breathing evened out, became steadier and deeper than it had been before and Bucky realized that you’d finally dozed off. His mind wouldn’t give him the same relief though, his thoughts spiraled, convincing him of every catastrophic outcome. There were very few things that James Buchanan Barnes was certain of, and you were one of them.

Sunrise came all too soon for you and not soon enough for Bucky. Maybe it was the angle at which you’d fallen asleep but you woke shortly after the morning larks started their song. The night’s events came back to you like a knife through the heart and you knew you had to leave. The thought of having another encounter like the one you’d had with Bucky the night before was agonizing and you had no desire to face him again, not yet. As softly as you could, you peeled back the duvet and pushed yourself off the mattress before stumbling into the bathroom. You hadn’t undressed the night before which meant that you had the option for an easy escape. Before leaving, you glanced at the mirror, grimacing at the dark circles under your still red eyes.

You had made it as far as the door before he had caught up with you again.

“Please.” His tone was pleading, he might as well have been on his hands and knees begging you to stay.

“I have to go, Bucky.”

You pulled your hand from his and made your escape. He didn’t follow you but he tried calling you repeatedly. He only stopped when you cut the last attempt short by sending him to voicemail without answering. As soon as you got home, you shook the snow off your shoulders, slipped out of your clothes and crawled under your covers and fell asleep with tears in your eyes.

As you slept, Bucky stewed in the juices of his guilt, steeping himself in a melancholy of his own making. He needed to act, he needed to apologize, he had to make things right. Grabbing his wallet, Bucky put on his coat and drove to the nearest florist to purchase a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

He cradled the beautiful blooming buds as he approached your building. Bucky had spotted your car down the street, covered in snow, there was no mistaking the outline of Stitch with the words “Back off bumper rhumper. My brakes are good. How’s your insurance?”

It was lucky you didn’t have to go to work because you slept for the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon. Oblivious to the ringing doorbell and phone, you slept peacefully.

Instead of leaving, Bucky sat down on the steps outside your apartment, clutching the floral arrangement like a lifeline. He was a patient man, he wasn't afraid of the cold, they had named him Winter after all.

Finally you woke to a deep rumbling in your stomach. You hadn't eaten in almost twenty hours and your body demanded to be fed. After a long stretch and a quick raid of your closet for warm clothes, you opened your fridge to find a cold LED light glaring back at you. It was empty. You needed groceries. Instead of stocking your own fridge, you'd spent all your time filling Bucky's. 

As tempting as the take out menus were, you needed some basics for the next few days before you had to go back to work. Without bothering to change, you pulled on a pair of thick socks, a hoodie and your duffle coat and headed out with the intention of visiting the local grocery store.

You were just about to let go of the main door to your apartment building, when you caught sight of a pair of familiar boots. Following your line of vision, you looked up from the boots to their owner and you are surprised to find Bucky asleep on your doorstep covered in snow with a now frozen bunch of flowers which appear to have crystallized to his jacket.

In a moment of panic, you dropped to your knees in the snow, shaking the sleeping supersoldier and calling his name.

“Bucky!” 

He opened his eyes, unfocused in their disorientation. Your hands cupped his freezing cheeks to get his attention. Were his lips blue?

“Bucky, look at me.”

He tried to whisper your name, but his voice was barely audible and all that came out of mouth was a tiny puff of steam.

“Are you alright? Can you get up?”

You hissed at the frigid feeling on your palms as your hands moved behind his arms in an attempt to pull him closer to you.

“Yeah, one sec.” Bucky pushed himself off the floor, the stiffness of his body making his movements slow and pained. It was almost like watching the reanimation of a corpse after rigor mortis had set in.

Before he had the chance to say and more, you'd grabbed his wrist and dragged him up to your apartment. It was your turn to be angry. At him, at yourself for not having seen his attempts to get in touch. If you were honest with yourself, you'd have ignored his calls and it infuriated you that your behavior had caused him to act this way. But mostly you were mad at him.

And because of this, you refused to say another word as you wrenched open your front door and guided your popsicle boyfriend onto the couch. Ignoring his stuttered apologies, you grabbed a couple of blankets, removed his outer layer of clothing and wrapped him tightly into a cocoon of blended polyester, cotton and wool.

Bucky's gaze was hawklike as you silently fussed over him, ensuring his warmth with blankets. You turned up the heat on the thermostat to furnace conditions and put the kettle on. You popped a teabag of chamomile and honey tea into each of two mugs and stood next to the kettle, as though watching it would make it boil faster. It was only because you didn't want Bucky to see the tremble of your lip as you fought against the urge to break down over the stress of the last twenty four hours.

You pulled your arms around your torso, shivering slightly. It really was cold outside and you were hoping that Bucky wouldn't suffer from having fallen asleep outside. Without warning, you felt a warmth envelope you. Bucky had crept up behind you and in his socks, you hadn’t noticed his approach on the hardwood floor. He put his arms around you and draped himself around you along with the blanket, making you sigh and melt into him.

Bucky took it as a good sign that you didn’t pull away or punch him in the face. He buried his face in your hair, breathing in your scent, trying to memorize every detail of your essence. You considered staying there, wrapped silently in his arms but the whistle of the kettle brought you back to your senses. Wordlessly, you unwrapped yourself from his embrace and poured water into the empty mugs.  You picked up the two mugs and motioned him over to the sofa.

The two of you sat together quietly sipping the tea. You glanced over at your boyfriend, your heart softening as you saw how sad and small he looked. Normally Bucky had a presence, he had broad shoulders and was tall, his vibranium arm occasionally glinting with a hint of menace. But as he sat wrapped up and clutching the mug of tea close to his face as he inhaled the steam with his red tinged nose, you wanted nothing more than to curl under the blanket with him and kiss his face.

You watched as he closed his eyes and a small crinkle appeared at the bridge of his nose. You frowned slightly, confused by the way his nostrils twitched for a second before his head pitched forward with a surprising sneeze. His hands shook and hot tea sloshed over his hands. You grabbed the mug from his hands and deposited it on the coffee table before turning back to your boyfriend with a look of worry.

“Bless you?” you whispered, your voice laced with concern. “Are you okay?”

You brushed his face with the back of your hand. Did he have a fever? There was a heat that was emanating from him. The supersoldier serum should protect him from illnesses. Shouldn’t it?

“Yeah, the steam went up my nose. It tickled.”

“Sure?”

Bucky nodded. Your care for him gave him the courage to take your hand.

“Look, I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday. It was totally unacceptable.”

“Buck-”

“I know you’re upset… and I understand if you aren’t ready for forgive me-”

“Buck-”

“And that’s okay, if you don’t want to talk to me-”

“Bucky!”

“Yeah?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why were you so angry? Did things go badly with your mission?”

Bucky looked down at his hands, suddenly afraid of what you would say about his explanation. It was obvious by the way he traced the golden veins of his vibranium arm. You took his hand in an attempt to reassure him of your support.

“I only had one thing to do and I couldn't even get that right.”

Bucky couldn't quite look you in the eyes as he spoke.

“How many people have to die because of me?” he asked dismally. “Steve wouldn't have let her die.”

“Bucky, you didn't let anyone die. She was murdered. That's not on you.” You had no idea what you were talking about, but you knew he would never intentionally hurt anyone. 

“You should have seen how everyone looked at me. I… didn't want you to look at me like that.”

“Oh Bucky.” You moved closer to him and put your hand on his back, rubbing comforting circles on it. “I don't think that you screwed up. You're not a failure. You did your best. Sometimes bad things happen and they are completely out of our control.”

“I'm so sorry for the way I spoke to you.”

“Yeah, I'm not going to lie, that wasn't fun for me.” You sighed. “Look, can we agree that neither of us acted in an ideal way.”

“I can't see what you did wrong.”

“I don't want to do this again, Bucky.”

“Neither do I.”

“I promise, in future, I'll respect your request to be left alone.”

“And I'll do my best to tell you how I feel.”

Both you and Bucky sat gazing into each other's faces until your stomach rumbled loudly and interrupted the tender moment.

“Hungry?” Bucky smirked at you.

“What gave it away?” You rolled your eyes. 

“Shall we order something?”

“Yeah, let me grab my tablet.”

You got up to fetch your device but you were stopped by a strong pair of hands around your waist. Bucky pulled you back into his lap and wrapped his arms around you tightly. 

“I love you,” he whispered in your ear. 

[mellifiedprincess]

hi!! could you do a fluffy fic with matt where the reader is just having a rough week mentally and is overwhelmed and stops by matt’s unannounced and they cuddle and he offers to talk through things with her

hope you like it angel <3

You could see the lights on in the living room through the balcony window. Staring up at it, still sitting in your car. You’ve been staring at it for a good 10 minutes now, not really sure if you should get out or not.

You knew the boys wouldn’t care one bit that you showed up without sending a text. You knew there wouldn’t be anything but concern in the eyes of your boyfriend and his two brothers.

Yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to get out of your car and knock on their door.

Another 5 minutes pass and you finally bring yourself to make the trek to the front door. The wood feels cool against the heat of your knuckles as you knock. You’re not really sure if anyone could even hear the soft taps from inside.

Chris does though. As he opens the door, you see a look of surprise on his face for a few seconds before he kindly smiles at you. He was always happy to see one of his best and closest friends. But then he sees the defeated look on your face. “Matt’s in his room. I’m here too if you need me to be.” The kind words of Chris almost breaks the dam that you’ve been trying so hard to keep patched up.

“Thanks Chrissy.” You simply say before giving him a hug and making your way up the stairs, needing the comforting embrace of Matt more than anything right now.

When you finally make it to Matt’s door, you can hear the soft clicks of his keyboard.

Closing your eyes to gather yourself, you open his door and see the soft curls of the boy you’ve been longing for, sat at his desk. His headphones sit on his ears as he continues to type away, probably answering emails for brand deals and whatnot. His eyes meet yours as he takes notice to his door being open, and once again you see a look of surprise.

He quickly removes the headphones, and checks his phone to see if he missed any calls or texts from you. When he sees no new notifications he places it back down.

“What’s wrong baby?” His voice is soft and calm, because he could already tell, just by the way you walked in, you were slowly breaking down. “Come here.” He reaches his hand out for yours and pulls you down into his lap as soon as you grab onto it.

You’re silent, not sure where to start, so you blankly stare into his eyes. Eyes that stare back at you with a look of worry and concern.

“I-um.” You clear your throat, trying to vacate the emotions bubbling in your chest. Tears threatening to spill over your waterline as you look at your boyfriend’s sweet face.

“Hey, take your time angel. I’m not going anywhere.” Matt’s thumb moves to swipe along your cheek, his worry only growing more at the stress his girlfriend is clearly under.

He knew she was overwhelmed by everything going on in her life right now. Her new job, in the middle of her last year of college, being away from her friends and family. “You wanna just sit here while I finish these few emails? Then we can lay in bed and talk.”

“That sounds nice.” You answer in a small voice, smiling gratefully at the sweetheart that is your boyfriend.

After the last email is answered, Matt stands with you still in his arms and carries to you his bed.

“I’ll be right back.” He quickly kisses your lips, and turns to exit his bedroom, leaving you to your racing thoughts.

And it felt like hours. It was only 10 minutes.

When he finally makes his return, he’s carrying a cup of something steaming and a bowl of ice cream, that looks like it could rival mount everest.

“One cup of hot chocolate for my sweetheart.” He states as he hands you a baby pink mug adorned with tiny white daisies. “Sorry it took so long. I had to fight Nick for the ice cream.”

“I can see who won. Did you even leave any for him?” You softly laugh and see a smile creep its way onto Matt’s face. An unexplainable amount of happiness fluttering in his chest at the sound of your giggles.

“Moving on.” He quickly places his bowl of ice cream down, before climbing into bed beside you. Wasting no time on wrapping an arm around you and pulling you to rest flush against his side. “Wanna watch Tangled?”

“Yes please!” You reply and take a sip of the hot chocolate, all of your worries starting to melt away.

Matt looks down as you let out a long sigh, not sure if you were okay or not. It was a sigh of contentment though, because it didn’t matter how horribly your day could have gone, Matt knew exactly what you needed. Always.

“Hey. I love you sweetheart.” He whispers quietly and places a kiss to your hairline, as he watches your eyes slightly squeeze shut.

“I love you too.”

Your body melts into his side as the sounds of Tangled begin to play, and soon your mind just shuts off completely. All thanks to the wonderful human that you get to call yours.

[amymbona]

if you need challengers ideas I have A LOT but rn my mind is clouded with some angsty Patrick stuff?

like it could be enemies to lover or fwb but then you get distant cuz you feel like you're falling in love and then patrick just do anything in his power to not lose you, truly anything as long as we get an ANGRY LOVE CONFESSION FROM HIM PLS <333

Honestlyyy this took me like a week to write this and I don't really like it. I feel like this topic could make up for a whole fanfic, not just a one shot. But I hope you'll like it :)

Warnings: angst, cursing,

Word count: 3,2 K

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You and Patrick were never that close. Mostly, you were Tashi's best friend and he was Art's best friend. There were some shots and awkward hugs shared when Patrick would come to visit his girlfriend and best friend at Stanford, being introduced to one another. At first, you weren't particularly fond of his habits - mainly smoking - and the foul language. But soon, you came to understand his special bond with Art (who you've managed to grow pretty close to as a result of him always hanging out with you and Tashi) and learned to respect him as your best friend's boyfriend. All in all, he turned out to be a pretty chill guy.

Eventually, you'd got to discover what kind of a person Patrick Zweig is. Overly confident and sure of his actions but rolling eyes with offense the second someone questions his choices. Loud, a bit more touchy for your liking and definitely a bit too comfortable sharing his sexual fantasies, but above all, a person driven entirely in the direction where his heart beats.

Initially, Patrick was the person to light the first cigarette between your lips and convince you to have pity for Art's puppy eyes and show him your tits. He had played the role of a perfect matchmaker, for god knows however reason. You two would exchange phone numbers and wish each other merry Christmas a happy birthday. He became your friend. 

After the complete disaster following Tashi's knee injury, the two of you ended up kicked away like two stray dogs, portrayed as the biggest pieces of shit. Patrick, you could understand. Because some time after that, you came to discover he only set you up with Art because he knew that his best friend was after his girlfriend. But in the end, the only person who had the right to yell at him for being such an asshole was you. Not Tashi, nor Art. And you, for reasons still unexplained (perhaps for not abandoning your friendship with Patrick) were tilted a traitor by your former best friend. This was the very end of your four way friendship. 

Fast forward, college was over. You went your way, pursuing your career. Patrick's number remained in your phone and, again, you'd only text each other for important anniversaries. However, all of that changed when he called you one random evening, evidently with too much alcohol running through his veins.

"I miss you." he hiccuped, the distinct chatter on his side of the line making it harder for you to hear what he was saying. 

"Patrick." you sighed, knowing damn well he's simply drunk and thought he must have dialed a wrong number. 

But the ever so persistent individual, he kept talking. "I think about you a lot, y'know, from time to time."

"You're drunk, Patrick." another sigh escaped your pursed lips, gaze focused on applying another coat of red polish to your toenail. "Where are you?" 

"Where the fuck would I be, Y/N? 'm getting wasted." Patrick's words were followed by a fit of laughter, not sure if his own or anyone else's. "Trynna forget about everyone. Not you, though." 

"Not me?"

"Just those two fuckers."

Of course. Ever since the painful split, Patrick had his own way of dealing with things, and that would mainly include getting totally wasted and babbling crap about being so deeply betrayed as if he was Jesus on the cross. 

That night, Patrick ended up at your place, upon you picking him up from the place which was, coincidentally, not too far from your current home. To put it simply, the two of you ended up in the world's messiest and smelliest make out session, Patrick's alcohol breath enveloping you from all directions. It was a vague attempt to get him out of the skinny pair of his jeans that he mistook for you wanting to suck his dick. Almost teary eyed, he begged you to let him fuck you, that it would make everything better for both of you. That it would have been a perfect revenge on Tashi and Art for breaking both of your hearts, even though they would had no way of discovering it. 

To this day, the revenge mindset continues corrupting both of your minds, or perhaps, it just gives you an excuse to keep fucking with each other. Patrick Zweig is a frequent visitor at your apartment, occupying your bed and drinking from your favourite tea cups while spitting some lines along "That nightie looks fucking sexy, but you should take it off," or "I could bend you over that counter." 

Your encounters basically spin around Patrick tearing off whatever you're wearing and covering your whole body with kisses. He whispers surprisingly sweet nothings into your ear while his hands rediscover the curves of your body. He eats you out like there's no tomorrow, making love to your pussy with his mouth. His tongue reaches places, drinking in your sweet nectar and making your back arch and hips grind against his face. He relishes the feeling of your thighs squeezing his head until he's certain his skills might burst soon, and that is all worth it. For Patrick, everything is worth it, if, by the end of it, he gets you to cum all over his face.

"Pat I- 'm close." your voice gets broken mid sentence, hips buckling up to meet Patrick's mouth. 

"Good, baby, good," he coddles, words muffled against your warm skin, tongue circling around your clit as his pointer and middle finger keep pumping in and out. "Just let go honey." 

And you do, moaning his name, hands tightening where they are tangled in his hair. Both of you are on cloud nine - your, from the heavenly orgasm and Patrick, from the sweet delight in your strained voice.

He remains in the bed next to you for a while, holding you and stroking your hair, while the conversation slowly dies. But the moment Patrick attempts to settle under the sheets, you kick him off, insisting on having to get up early in the morning. 

"I don't get it, Y/N," Patrick huffs as he buttons up his pants, eyes roaming up and down over your bare figure while you reach for your nightie. "I make you cum so loud you might wake up the whole street and now you're kicking me out." 

"I'm not kicking you out Patrick." you mumble, sliding into your slippers. 

But Patrick doesn't buy your bullshit. "You are. And it's not the first time you're doing it." 

He seems to see right through you, to know that you're perfectly capable of getting up early and performing your whole morning routine with him occupying your bed. No. There is more to that, much more that you're not telling him. And he wants so bad to have you tell him the truth. 

"You could just let me stay here, y'know. I'm not a thief or something." Patrick continues, a half ironic smile on his face as he moves closer towards you. His hands find place on your hips and he pulls your back into his chest. "You're not afraid of me, are you?" 

Afraid? That is the lightest way to put it. Actually, you are beyond terrified, completely spooked by the idea of opening up to someone who used to be your best friend's boyfriend. To someone who's dick you're taking into your mouth multiple nights per week. And that is exactly where it has to end, that is where you have to set a clear boundary for Patrick to cross.

"Where was I ever afraid of you, Patrick?" you scoff, turning around in Patrick's arms. It almost breaks your heart when you are met with an unusually soft smile on his face, knowing damn well Patrick is interpreting this in a completely different way. 

It's not that you don't want to love Patrick, no, quite the opposite. But you know the two of you wouldn't be able to last. Despite allowing to discover each other's gentle side and showing one another unusual forms of comfort that both of you clearly needed, you two are still so incredibly different.

Patrick Zweig is the epitome of chaos. While he's all heart, he has little to no sense of understanding in some situations that are important to you. In stark contrast to your gentle life, Patrick is reckless and hazards in various ways. Perhaps it fills his need for adrenaline, for being seen by large groups of people and adored for that big bad wolf persona he's built up during his years of tennis. 

You, on the other hand, strive for a more gentle life. After all that you've experienced at your young age, you already feel burnt out, and can't really imagine the idea of shaking your ass at bars and clubs to loud music and getting wasted. What you need is comfort and someone who's on the same emotional level with you. And while Patrick can provide what you need, from time to time, you're afraid it won't be able to last. Hence the cold shoulder. 

"Then why are you pushing me away constantly?" he presses, a small pout on his lips. His gaze drops to your own, desiring to taste you once again. "Can I kiss you?" 

It pains you to refuse him. "Just go." 

Over the next few days, Patrick sends you various messages, even attempts to call you. Your phone keeps beeping and vibrating, but you keep ignoring every single attempt of his, reminding yourself that it's for the better. Patrick will be alright, you're sure of it, he always is. He'll find a new girl - in a pub, on Tinder, anywhere - who he'll fall into and he'll reciprocate his feelings. 

It comes off as a surprise when you bump into him one day in the grocery store, thinking he might be out of the city. After all, he rarely stays there, usually just coming to visit you specifically, staying for the night and then being gone for a few days. 

"Y/N." a small smile tugs onto Patrick's lips as he sees you, eyes roaming over your form and groceries filled arms. "Need some help?" 

"No, no, I'm good." with a shake of your head, you reject his advances and move forward, shoulder mildly bumping into his. Better to keep it simple. 

"What the hell's your deal?" Patrick retorts, immediately moving after you. His voice rises, earning a glance from some people in the aisle, but that doesn't concern him.

You just shrug, an expression of indifference on your face. "Nothing." 

A hand on your arm stops you and you're pulled back against Patrick. He manages to keep himself casual, the touch moving onto your lower back, so as not to draw any suspicion and he even swiftly catches a packaging of toast bread that slips from your hold. "Don't bullshit me, Y/N. You've been ignoring me for like two weeks. That's not like you." 

"I'm not ignoring you." your eyes roll and you snatch the toast bread from his hands. 

"You are, Y/N." he presses, gaze roaming all over your gruff expression. "Can't you just tell me what's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong Patrick, my god, just mind your own business." 

You leave him in there, standing in the middle of the aisle, surrounded by strangers and his own miserable thoughts. Poor Patrick is clueless, unable to understand what the hell he has done to you for you to suddenly cross his name out like that.

The calls and messages get even worse, he's sending you one almost every minute there is a phone in his hands, eager for every form of contact. 

Patrick: Y/N

Patrick: c'mon... 

Patrick: don't ignore me bby

Patrick: i miss u

Patrick: ur my only girl

Patrick: ... 

Patrick: i love you

He's an idiot. Probably drunk, you think when you reread the message for the hundredth time during one particular evening, eyes welling in your eyes the longer you stare at it. He surely can't mean it. 

Patrick: fuck

Patrick: ignore that

Patrick: can i call u? 

Patrick: text me pls

Patrick: i wanna see u

Patrick: :(

He's really getting desperate, considering just breaking the door to your apartment and pushing you against the nearest surface, forcing you to listen to whatever he has to tell you. And he actually went to your place, to the apartment you live in, but never went further than standing by the door. Oh, how he wanted to knock each time he was there. How much he wanted to see your face and hear your voice. 

But you never respond, never react, trying to convince yourself you're doing what's best for you both. Perhaps you are naive, a bit too much, and in reality, your treatment only results in hurting both of you. 

And Patrick can't fucking bear it anymore, so he actually musters up all his remaining courage and travels to your place once again. Marching up with determined footsteps, he approaches your apartment and knocks and knocks and knocks on the door until you eventually open it, half asleep.

"Patrick?" 

"Y/N." 

Your swift attempt to close the door ends in vain as Patrick basically pushes himself into your apartment, refusing to be shut down once again. 

"We need to talk." 

"Piss off." you respond with a mumble, voice coming out more hostile than you actually planned. With a shudder, you abandon him, not feeling like facing him at the moment. Because whatever is about to happen, it's bound to end up as a tragedy. 

"Don't you dare talk to me like that." Patrick hisses in an aggrieved manner, following you to the living room. "You owe me at least an explanation." 

You know you do. But you can't bring yourself to give him any. "I don't owe you anything, Patrick." 

"You know damn well that you do. At least look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you." he's genuinely getting pissed off by your attitude. You always used to be so adamant on honesty, believing everyone deserves some form of a gentle treatment, and mainly to be told the truth. In your own words, people don't deserve to just be shut off. But here you are, doing the exact same thing you stand against. 

When you refuse to listen to him, Patrick gets fed up. His hands grab your arms tightly - for the first time not attempting to be cautious or gentle - and just yanks you towards himself. Finally, his eyes meet yours, fully, both of you wearing equally tired expressions. It's no secret this has been tough for both of you. 

"Can you listen to me for once?" he speaks softly, a glimpse of hope, accompanied by a light squeeze of your arms to keep your attention on himself. 

"This is stupid, Patrick." you retort, eyes rolling in an attempt to ignore the sudden closeness of his presence. "Just stop. Go home or go fuck someone. Just go and be happy." 

Patrick's expression drops upon hearing your words, mentally attempting to put one and one together to fully understand what you're attempting to convey. "Why are you pushing me away?" 

His hold on your arms eases, allowing you to slip them out of his hold and step away. Almost on instinct, your palms come up to rub those two spots, not that they're sore or hurt, but you wish to wipe his touch away. "Cause it's better for both of us." 

Finally, you admit to it, wanting to, slowly but surely, erase Patrick from your presence, from your life perhaps, as you've convinced yourself it shall ease the worries of both of you. 

"What the fuck?" he scoffs, stepping closer once again. "How would that be better?" 

"Because we can't continue with this, for fuck's sake. Patrick, we can't just fuck because we feel like it and-" 

"Why not?" 

"What?" 

"Why can't we just fuck?" Patrick insists, approaching you fully. He corners you against the windowsill and rests his hands on it, caging you in. 

You stare him in the eyes, lips parting as you search for an answer. Why couldn't the two of you just fuck? You're both single, no responsibilities and no people to remain loyal to. And you both enjoy the frequency of your encounters, knowing each other's bodies like the backs of your own hands, knowing exactly what the other person loves and despises. Your main priorities are to satisfy the other one, to make sure each one of you feels equally loved and accepted and comfortable in whatever this is. So why can't you just fuck? 

"I wanna fuck you, Y/N." he presses further, leaning into your personal space, so close that the top of his nose brushes against yours. "I wanna fuck you and then I wanna hold you. I don't want you to push me away and just let me stay with you, even when you're all sweaty and messy." 

"Patrick-" 

"Don't. Just listen to me for once and shut up. Stop worrying for a goddamn minute and listen to me, hear me out when I tell you that I want to be with you every second of my life, that I want you in my arms, kissing me, looking at me and paying attention only to me. Not any other man."

"There's no other man." you interfere, eyes flicking between Patrick's to search for any hint of rationality. 

"But there's no me either." he protests, voice raising. Fat from gentle, far from soft, there's not even that playful edge in his voice anymore. There is a hint of something dangerous hidden behind his blue eyes. "And I want there to be. Are you really that stupid to not see that I love you? That I wanna be with you and be your boyfriend? Want you to be my girl?" 

"Patrick, I-" again, you attempt to say something, anything, but no words leave your mouth. Your whole mind is clouded by the sudden confession. He loves you? But... 

It all connects all of a sudden, realising what he messaged you was intentional, was nothing but the sheer truth. All the little signs and hints. All the times he held onto you, clutched your bare body against his and desired to remain buried under the sheets with you. All the pouts and protests when you wouldn't let him stay, when you wouldn't engage in normal couple-ish activities that he wished so hard for. All the subtle touches, on your back, shoulders, face, stroking your cheeks and scratches on your back. These and so much more were visible, at least Patrick thought so. These were the hints Patrick was giving you, desperately hoping you'd pick up on it and notice how smitten he is with you. 

"I love you, Y/N." he whispers, hands grabbing your face, too afraid you're gonna disappear from his grasp if he doesn't hold you tight enough. His thumbs graze your cheeks. "And I need to know if you love me too." 

But do you? Can you afford to love Patrick, the man who was initially your best friend's boyfriend, the man you first fucked out of spite and in symbolic revenge and then found yourself caring too deeply for? Are you willing to be in a messy relationship that would undoubtedly completely alter the direction of your life? 

"I don't know, Patrick." 

"You don't know or you just don't wanna answer?" 

He can see right through you, it's insane. It pains you that you've no idea how to decide, what to say, what to tell him. So you just shudder, attempting to cast a smile and ease Patrick's worries at least somehow. "I don't want us to get hurt."

"We won't." he promises, adamant on keeping it. 

"How can you be so sure about it?" it's obvious you are doubting your possible relationship, knowing what kinds of people the two of you are.

"Because I love you." 

[chelleztjs18]

Biggest Fans (E.O)

Fem!Writer!Reader x Elizabeth Olsen

Summary: It was a casual lunch day out for you and Lizzie until the unexpected thing happens.

Warning: None. I'm just feeding you with fluff story. :D

A/n: Hello! It's me with another fluff fic! Thank you for your patience. I'm trying my best to write more and give you more contents. Also, this might be the last time I will post with the taglist. I'm planning on making a library side blog. I will update you once It's ready. Anyways, happy reading!

P.S: The italic prints means texting convo in this fic. The bold print means their thoughts.

Main Masterlist

“Hello. I really love your writing.” was how it all started. A friendly message you got but you never knew that it will lead to something unexplainable with such all good feelings you can’t describe. A message that led to other more messages between you and this girl. Before you know it, you talk to her 24/7 for almost a year. Flirtatious messages with various sweet pet names exchanges happen a lot between you two. Is it a friendship? It sure did start from that point. Is it more than that? You don’t know. All you know, you can’t hold back a smile every time you get a message from her through your writing blog apps. You always wait for her messages. The second you wake up, you will go to the apps to text her good morning and sometimes you would find that she beat you and left the morning text before you.

Liz, that’s her name. As much as you want to see her pictures or hear her voice through a phone call, you respect her request to wait until she feels comfortable to do so. You both agreed to not talk or ask anything personal just yet. Despite all that, both of you never run out of things to talk about which is what you love about her.

You hear your text notification from your phone and your heartbeat doubling in speed instantly. You knew who it was and as usual, you are smiling reading anything she texts you.

_____

*Ding* Lizzie's phone informs her another message replies. She laughs a little and then smiles the whole time while she's typing her turn in the conversation.

Scarlet sees it from the corner of her eyes while she is checking out the restaurant's menu but she can't help herself to ask, "Is that from your writer girlfriend?” She teases Lizzie.

“Huh? What? No, she’s not my girlfriend.” The younger actress realizes Scar’s teasing question and denies it instantly. A blush shows up on her cheek obviously.

“Well, you both have been talking all this time. You have been all smiling every time you text with her. Wait, how long have you been talking with each other?”

“Well, you told me about this whole fanfiction writing blog stuff like around june last year i think?” The brunette answers.

“That’s almost a year! Wow and she still doesn’t know who you are? Or at least your voice? Does she know that you are from Los Angeles? She seems pretty patient about that."

"Uh yes. I gotta admit, she has been understanding about it very much. Sometimes I feel that it's unfair to her because I have heard her voice on the voice notes she left me. She sounds really cute. And, yes. She knows that I'm from here just like her." Lizzie expresses her thoughts and doesn't realize that another smile curves on her face.

"Aww. That's cute! You like her, don't you?" The blonde actress asks as she wiggles her eyebrows teasing her best friend once more.

Lizzie laughs and covers her face in embarrassment. "Who wouldn't like a nice sweet funny girl that you can talk to about everything 24/7?" 

“Haha! I knew you like her!”

“Uh maybe we should order some food now, the waitress has been asking us twice, Scar.” Lizzie looks at the menu to avoid eye contact and to not let the topic go further.

“It wasn’t my fault, you were the one who kept forgetting to see what you want because you are busy texting with your girlfriend.” Scarlet teased and soft crimson shades slowly show up on Lizzie’s face.

“Oh look, Liz! She just posted a new fic. Ouh, I wonder what it is about now.” A mix of excitement and curiosity floats around her as she playfully makes a little dance move with her shoulders.

“Oh, she posted it earlier than she planned, that's good. It’s a Wanda story. She told me the idea, it’s about—-” before Lizzie can finish her words, Scarlet interrupts her.

“Nope. nope. Nope.. No spoilers please. I’m gonna read it later.” Scarlet raises her index fingers as her stop sign.

Lizzie laughs at her antics. “Okay, okay. All I’m gonna say is, it’s a really good plot. You’ll like it.”

The girls order their food and spend some time catching up.

_____

Liz:

“Have you eaten lunch yet, sweetie?

Y/n:

“Not yet. I was too lazy to get out of my apartment but since you keep reminding me to eat something, I am getting lunch now. 😁"

Liz:

"Are you going to cook something?"

Y/n:

"No. I'm just gonna go to this restaurant I love. I'll be right back, darling. I'll text you when I get there, love. 😘"

Liz:

"Okay, talk soon. 😘"

Even just the short conversation makes you and Lizzie feel like you are on cloud nine, drunk with happiness.

______

Some fans sometimes come to them for pictures or autographs but both Marvel actresses were enjoying their lunch and their leisure time together until one message from you popped up. Lizzie's eyes widened, her stomach turned and her heart dropped after she read what you sent her.

Y/n:

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Liz! You will not believe who I see right now! Elizabeth Olsen!! I see her at the restaurant I'm at now. She is so gorgeous. She's with Scarlet Johansson right now."

"Oh my god. Shit. Scar, she's here." Lizzie exclaimed in whispers, trying her best to keep calm and look around casually so it wouldn't look obvious.

"Huh? What happened? Who's here?" The Black Widow cast asks in surprise and confusion at the same time.

"Y/n. She's here!" She whispers.

"What? How did you know?" Scarlet pitched out another question as she kept her head straight looking at Lizzie.

"She sent me this." Lizzie lets Scarlet read your message.

Then another message popped up.

Y/n:

"I really want to come up to her and say hi."

"Gosh, now she's gonna come here and say hi." Panic starts to scream a little in Lizzie's tone and she shows her phone to Scar again.

"You don't know what she looks like, right?" Scarlet asks.

"No. I don't know that she is a huge fan of.. you know, me." Lizzie taps her fingers rapidly and nervously.

"Well, d'uh, Lizzie? She writes fics about you and Wanda." The blonde laughs a little and shakes her head.

"Oh yeah. Yeah. You are right. My brain just can't think—" Lizzie tries to respond but gets interrupted. "Straight?" Scar finishes her words in a teasing smirk.

Lizzie rolls her eyes and holds her smile knowing what Scarlet really meant. A fan comes and asks for a selfie with them.

As soon as the girl leaves, Lizzie asks Scarlet in a whisper, "Do you think it was her?"

"Well, I don't know, Liz. Oh text her and ask if she decides to come to Lizzie" Scarlet pitches the idea as she forms an air quote on Lizzie's name.

The now nervous younger Olsen sister follows the suggested idea and texts you.

Lizzie:

"So, did you decide to go say hi to her?"

A few minutes passed and she hasn't got any reply from you. Then another fan politely interrupts the silence.

Lizzie doesn't realize that she stares at the girl a little longer while her mind wonders if it's you until Scarlet nudges her elbow and she continues talking friendly then takes another selfie with their favorite MCU casts.

The more fans come to them, the more it drives her mind all over the place and keeps guessing which one was you. Her curiosity makes her ask each fan their name, just in case it was you. Anticipation is killing her by now and she decided to text you again.

Lizzie:

"Babe? Are you okay? How was it?"

Silence was still what she got. "Why hasn't she replied yet?" She asks herself with a little frustration as she keeps checking on her phone for your reply.

"Well, if she already came to you then what would you do?" Scarlet questioned the brunette.

“I don’t know.” Lizzie shows her thinking looks as she mindlessly bites her nails. Then her phone brings her back out of her daze. “Oh! That must be her.” She talks to herself as she undoubtedly checks her phone.

A Surprised facial expression appears as she sees your message with a picture of her that you took from afar earlier.

Y/n:

“Look how beautiful she is. I saw that she was very sweet to her fans. I think I'm not going to come up to her. I feel bad that she doesn't have her privacy to have her lunch, people keep coming to her. I’m just gonna finish my food and maybe go home after that.”

Lizzie tries to look as calm as she can as she wonders where you are sitting from the view of her picture you took then looks back to check the picture again and avert her eyes around. “Scar, don't look around, I don't want to look obvious that we are wondering which one is her but here, look what Y/n texted me.”

As soon as Scar saw the pictures and read the message, she almost couldn’t help herself to turn her head to where you possibly were but Lizzie stops her.

“Aw she’s so sweet and thoughtful.” The blonde comments. “So, if she’s not coming to see you, what are you going to do now Liz? She added.

“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking of asking her if she wants to meet up or at least have a video call. Should I try to come and have a spontaneous meet up with her here right now? She said she’s leaving soon.” Lizzie rants out her thoughts as she casually searches around that might give a clue which one is you.

A full minute of silence from Lizzie as Scar waits for the answer of her question. The brunette finally breaks her silence. “Uhm.. I don’t know. Uh, I… I’m gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back, Scar.” but being friends with Lizzie since she joined Marvel makes Scarlet know her pretty well like the back of her own hand.

Scarlet gently grabs Lizzie’s arm to quickly stop her from getting up. “Wait, wait, wait Liz. I know you. You are not going to the bathroom, you are going to find her, aren’t you?” The blonde actress guessed in a teasing tone and smiled.

No words come out of her lips but a little smirk forms and that’s all Scarlet needs as an answer then she lets go her hand off Lizzie’s arm. “Well, good luck. Have fun on your first date with your girlfriend. Text me if you want me to wait or not.” Scarlet cheers her and wiggle her eyebrows.

With that, Lizzie walks away to find you.

_____

Unfortunately, today is a pretty busy day at the restaurant. After a few steps away from her table towards the direction she guessed where you are at, most tables are occupied. Her eyes look for a woman she thinks looks like your age and any other clue that can help her.

At first she looks for a woman who is on her phone but she realizes it won’t help. Most people are on their phone these days. Then she remembers that you posted a story earlier, her mind instantly thinks that you have your laptop with you on your table right now while having your lunch. It helps her narrow down her obstacles to find you after she sees some women has their laptop with them.

She tries to be as casual as she can. Some pairs of eyes recognize her and some don’t or perhaps they are just trying not to stare at her. She then texts you again, a subtle question that won’t be too obvious that she wants to know if you are still there or not.

Lizzie:

“How’s your food babe? Are you still having your lunch?”

A few minutes of silence, none of your replies come to her inbox. “Dang it! She probably turns her phone on vibrate mode again.” she thought to herself, knowing your habit.

Meanwhile, you are trying to prevent yourself from staring at your idol from far away so you are focused on writing your new romantic fic, you can’t keep Liz out of your mind. All those sweet touchy ideas and stories you wrote were inspired by her or your conversations with her. It even sometimes makes you smile. You miss her today but you know her plan for today, spending time with her best friend so you try to let her “girls day out” time.

As you get distracted by your own feelings of missing her, you can’t help yourself and you grab your phone to text her only to find out you missed her text.

You quickly reply.

Y/n:

“Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t see your message. My phone was on vibrate. Yes, I’m still here, but I’m done with my lunch and just waiting for my check. I hope you are having a great time with your best friend. I can’t wait to chat with you again. I miss you.”

Just like that, your message definitely dropped a bomb of jumbled feelings on her. She reads it in awe, her heart feels light and she feels giddy when she reads that you miss her yet she is now alarmed that her time is running out and she needs to pick up her pace to find you. Like a cherry on top, the nervousness gradually grew over the other mixed up feelings.

She directs her eyes from one table to another table as she walks. She starts to feel more anxious that she would miss the chance to meet you, her mind rapidly thinks.

Her fingers start to get cold, her heart beats race but a final resort of thought jumps into her mind.

She takes a deep breath. “Fuck it.” She mumbles and she opens the apps on her phone then calls you and her eyes are ready to spot you whenever you pick up her calls. “Come on, y/n. Pick up the phone.” she mumbles once more with full of hope.

_____

The waiter drops off your bill. While you are checking on it, you notice that your phone vibrates.

Your stomach does somersaults and your heart cheers with such thrill, you swear you could hear it. Despite all that, you are nervous. You stare at your phone screen for a good few seconds, questions bouncing around in your head as you tap your finger on the table nervously.

Why is she calling me? Is this an accidental call? Should I answer it? What if I got speechless?

_____

Lizzie hears you answer the call on the other end of the line. Her eyes jump from one person to another and her heart skips a beat when she finally spots you. She knows it was you as soon as she sees you has the phone with your left hand.. “H–hello? Liz?” She can hear your highly strung voice and her feet lead her to your table slowly.

“H-hi y/n. Yes, it’s me Liz.” her timorous voice wrapped in excitement makes its way to be heard.

“Uh-it’s so nice to finally hear your voice. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you were gonna call. I wasn’t prepared.” you let out a nervous laugh.

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you first I was gonna call. I got your text. I miss you too. So, I decided to call you. So are you leaving soon?” Lizzie can’t stop smiling while she talks to you.

“Uh yeah, pretty soon. I just got my bill. Are you still having lunch with your best friend? Where are you now?” you ask curiously. You start to calm down from your sudden nervousness.

“Aaw, you are leaving? I think it would be a great idea if you stay a little longer.” She ignores your question yet pitches out an idea that caught you in confusion.

Of course you asked “And why is that?” followed by a little laugh. All you can think is how cute she sounds. You always think that she is cute but to think that her voice melts your heart this easily? No, you never thought of that. Or perhaps you fell for her, so hard.

“Because I’m right here.” She answers enthusiastically. Lizzie tries to take her exhilaration down a notch to avoid attention from people surroundings.

“Wait, what? You–you are here? What did you—” you stop your words as soon as you feel a presence in front of you. From the corner of your eyes, you can see someone standing and you quickly look up to see who it is. “---mean?” you finally finished the word you were gonna say in a very low voice. You felt like you just got struck by lightning. Your eyes refuse to blink, your mouth is slightly open. You are stunned, or you can even say that you are frozen like an ice sculpture. You are shocked and confused why in the world the most beautiful woman, the woman you idolized so much, is standing right in front of you, smiling and her green eyes sparkling in happiness looking at you.

“Uh–I–uh-W-wait–Liz..hold on..Lizzie Olsen is standing right in front of me and you just told me that you are here. So..does it mean–” you stupidly still hold your phone against your ear and talk on the phone.

Lizzie lets out a cute laugh and thinks how cute you look. “Hello, I really love your writing." She intentionally said the same exact words with her first message to you through the phone.

Her intention to prove to you that the Liz who you have been talking to this whole time and her are the same person worked. You swiftly connect the dots and are convinced by the truth. “Oh…OH!!! Oh my god! Liz? Lizzie? I have been talking to you this whole time?” You yell in a whisper, trying to suppress your popping elations. Your skin slowly turns red.

She laughs a little louder at your reaction but she tries to calm you down as she leans to you a little and whisper “Y/n, shusshh. We wouldn’t want to attract more attention than we already have right now.” She puts her index finger on her smiling lips.

“Oh, yeah yeah. Sorry.” you take a deep breath and exhale them out. “Okay, okay. I’m good.. I–I’m good. Uh–” you ramble.

“Can I join you?” she asks softly.

“Yes, of course. Please have a seat.”

"So this is the blind date we have been talking about?" The iconic laugh of hers follows right after her teasing question.

"Well, it's more surprising, unplanned and spontaneous than I thought it would be but y-yes of course! This is it.. this the blind date." You awkwardly yet subtly try to fix your look in front of her.

Oh that smile, those green eyes and even her perfume have successfully turn your brain into a mush.

You are hypnotized by the ethereal views in front of you and you are lost in your thoughts. You still can’t believe you have been talking to her this whole time, romantically to each other. The one and only gorgeous Elizabeth Olsen has been telling you that she loves everything you write and everything about you.

Both of you have been the biggest fans to each other this whole time and nothing can beat that.

A/n: Welp, that's it for today. Let me know what you think and I hope you like it. Reblog and comments are highly appreciated. Follow me for more. See you in next!

Cheerio!

Taglist: @madamevirgo @musicinourlips @unstable-sapphic-hoe @fanboy7794 @chloe7076 @b0mbdotc0m @trikruismybitch @ichala @californianwhiterabbit @honey-sweet-hiraeth @imfuckinggenius @sxfwap @chaekhan @daenerys713 @luvmcgrath @stupidsapphicsstuff @pattypavo @stonemags @frvny @franfineashell @heyyoweveryone @ygtft-chen @yaaskasey @sweeet-likeeee-cinnamonn @paumxmff @dopeyouth @beaniejennie @ineedafinghug @idkwhatimwriting @lucydiibi @mainly-rebloging-fics-i-like @gloriousfoxruins @grxvitye @mcubreakdown101 @aos22 @wandanatstan @paulawand @yeeterthekeeper @femalehomosexual666 @snowdrop1026 @modernmonalisa @nothingisrealanyway @idamaemann @sweeterlust @royalityofmultifandom @playboysaleen @peabrain112 @gwhaley127 @harleyswanda @bodhi-j @darth-rain @cristin-rjd

[stayandot8]

Cravings

Genre: Smut

Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend

Important Contents: Explicit content ahead, 18+. Minors, do not enagage.

WC: 1.3k

masterlist

Today I woke up with an unexplainable hunger for something I couldn't quite place my finger on. I thought it might be a certain food, so I picked up my favorite takeout and allowed my legs to take me to my favorite place. 

Me: Been having a craving all day so I picked up some food if you’re hungry 

Channie ❣️: Just got home so I’m starving. Come on up :) 

Smiling down at my phone, I buzzed up to said apartment. I was doing this a lot recently, both buzzing up and smiling at my phone. It was all because of him. He made it very easy to be happy with my life these days. He was getting good at surprising me at work, sending me things like flowers and signing them ‘Chris’ and texting me that he had lunch delivered there for me. Such thoughtful things that I hadn’t had before. And being intimate with him was even better. He was so attentive to how my body responded that he quickly found out what I liked and didn’t. It wasn’t hard when I liked just about everything he did. He could just stand there and I’d be able to take care of myself. All he had to do was look at me with those doe eyes and I was putty in his hands to do with as he liked. And when he started to strip, which was often, my eyes had to be physically moved from his body back up to his face by his grip on my chin. One time he actually caught me drooling, which I should have been embarrassed about but couldn’t be bothered. He was just that powerful. Maybe I did know what my craving was…

Opening the door to the apartment, I immediately spot Felix and Han playing video games on the couch, Hyunjin sitting in a chair beside them drawing on his iPad and deep in concentration. 

“Hi boys.” I sing-songed to the members in the room. I got mumbles in response, all of them obviously too engrossed in their respective activities. I shook my head at them and put their portion of the food on the counter. I stayed for a few seconds just to see if they would react and once the smell hit them, they all came running and tripping over themselves to get the good bits. Felix was the first to embrace me in thanks and Han wasn’t far behind. Soon enough, I was fully engulfed in different smells of cologne all fighting their way up my nose in a four-way embrace and a chorus of ‘thank you’s. The first one to hug me and the last one to let go, Felix kissed my cheek and expressed his thanks in his best child voice. 

“Agghh okay okay you’re welcome. Now I have to go make my last delivery.” I held up the last bag for myself and Chan for them to see, starting my trek down the hallway. They immediately went back to their game and iPad, now chowing down on proof of my love for them. 

Knocking on the familiar door, I crack it open to see Chan in his normal shirt and gym shorts with his controller in hand and gaming headphones on one ear, the ear closest to me exposed to listen out for me. He turns his head and his eyes go to the bag I’m holding and his eyes widen. I lock the door behind me.

“Oh that place is so good. I’m just going to finish this game and I’ll be all yours, okay?” 

“Okay but I’m not waiting for you because I am starving.” I tuck into the box of noodles as I sit against his headboard, legs stretched out in front of me. He scoots up into my legs to nestle himself between them, his head laying on my chest and his elbows resting on my thighs. He looked so comfortable that I tried to move as little as possible while I ate but I was finding it very difficult not to spill anything on him or myself, eventually failing. 

“Shit. Hey babe, get up, I got it on my shirt. Can I borrow-”

“Of course, you know I love it when you wear my stuff.” He responded, moving to his previous spot without looking at me. I grabbed a shirt from his dresser and ran to the bathroom. Looking at the damage on my own shirt in the bathroom mirror, I figured it was a lost cost, the stain too noticeable to consider saving it. I grabbed Chan’s shirt when I had a better idea. Seeing Chan just sitting on the bed gave me an idea I had seen earlier that week. Looking myself in the eye to boost my confidence, I start stripping, leaving my clothes on the bathroom floor and crack open the door to see if Chan was facing me. He wasn’t, still fully engrossed in his game. Perfect.

Mostly undressed save for Chan’s shirt, I strolled for his bed again, lining myself up directly behind him. My hands find his shoulders, pulling him to lay down in front of me. He goes along with it, his controller being discarded to his side once I swing my leg over his head and place my southern lips directly onto his mouth. A small hum of surprise came from him until his arms wind themselves around my thighs to hook me in place as he looked hungrily at his meal and licked his lips before attacking my folds with that magic tongue of his, licking a thick stripe up along them. His eyes shot to mine as I let a moan escape, that tongue finding its way to my clit. He wraps his mouth around it and begins to suck as if his life depended on it. I could do nothing but throw my head back as my eyes rolled back. He pulls on my thighs to force me to put my full weight on him, the rest of my sex exposed to him. Exactly what he wanted. 

He nudged my hips, encouraging me to move, to ride his face like I wanted. My hips moved with a mind of their own, my own brain clouded with each flick of his tongue. I brought my hand up to my breasts to fondle them through the shirt. Chan tugged on it, not wanting to miss anything. I pulled it off and continued, another moan coming out louder as he inserted two fingers into my entrance and started to pump them in and out at an excruciatingly slow pace. The contrast of the borderline violent attack on my clit and the slow pace of his fingers was keeping me on the verge of what I needed.

I knew if I looked at him again I would find the exact thing that would send me over the edge. I didn’t want to give up that quickly. I felt his lips pull away from me. “Look at me.” I couldn't resist when he dropped his voice like that. I knew I was done for when I saw him underneath me staring at my face with hooded eyes, his nose resting just above my clit while his lips continued to suck and flick with his tongue. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him as I felt my release start to build in my core, so close to the edge. I buckled, my arms barely catching me as I folded over him as I continued to ride him through the brink he was bringing me to. 

“I wanna hear you when you cum but you have to be quiet.” He resumed his assault and it didn’t take long until I shuddered, my release crashing like waves as I rode through it. My moans were stifled by my fist as well as they could’ve been while he still had a hold of me. He released my pelvis and moved from under me. I felt myself collapse on his bed, his weight coming up behind me as he sat on me with his knees enclosing my legs together. I felt his bulge pressing into me through his shorts as he whispered,

“Funny, that was what I was craving too.”

[emiefluff]

﴾ Birthday Wishes of Wonderhoy! ﴿

╭ ─┉─ • ─┉─ ╮

Today is Emu's birthday, a day very well dedicated to the happiest girl of Wonderland's×Showtime. To celebrate such a wonderhoy-induced day, Nene has an idea in mind to make it all worthwhile.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥Project SEKAI/HATSUNE MIKU: COLORFUL STAGE!

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥‎Ler!Nene Kusanagi

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥Lee!Emu Otori

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥The fic contains implied EmuNene, but can be interpreted as platonic!

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥The fic contains brief mentions/appearances from Wonderland SEKAI Miku!

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥Wasn't planning to return from hiatus until like next week at the latest but it's still Emu's birthday for me, so I kinda decided to go off hiatus entirely. It's 11:58pm as I'm currently posting this fic, so I kinda rushed this within a whole fucking hour LMFAOOOO

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥This is a concept I came up with last minute, so bear with me lol

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥This was originally a genshin lee!Furina fic that became a wuthering waves ler!yangyang, lee!female rover fic and is now a project sekai ler!nene, lee!emu fic LMFAOOOOO | Tagging @pink-tk-a-latte @cnidarianrui @nekoma-not-lee @kamishirokiss @jackytickles @mayatkls @practickles @lovelyrockstar (majority of u guys r from the tk server so!!!) also tagging @tea-twords if you would like to read!!!!

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ❥Fic under the cut!

╰ ─┉─¡! • !¡─┉─ ╯

September 9th

Emu's birthday, a special day and a very special day, at that. As the happiest girl in the troupe, Emu deserved only the best of birthday celebrations. Everyone had given Emu such lovely gifts. From the cookie Wonder Stage kit to the Wonder Stage transformation kit, Emu loved all of the presents her classmates had given her.

Rui and Tsukasa had both put on a mini performance for Emu, all of the Virtual Singers had done a fun play for her, and even Emu's own family had fun things in store. There was still one person left who hadn't given a gift to Emu though, one who still attempted to find a gift to give to Emu.

Nene struggled practically all day thinking of what to gift Emu for her birthday. The more she thought about it, the more she felt bad for being indecisive about her gift. She had done a lot of her original ideas with Emu already, and didn't want to see repetitive or unthoughtful.

Nene had almost lost hope at this point, feeling terrible for not having thought of anything. She was about to give up, but something had stopped her from doing so.

"Nene?"

Nene jumped slightly, immediately looking to her phone as she had noticed Miku's confused look. She'd recompose herself, taking a deep breath as she spoke up.

"Miku...-?! Is everything okay? That scared me quite a bit..!"

"Hehe, sorry, sorry! I just couldn't help but notice how stressed you look right now. Is something wrong, Nene?" Miku frowned a little as she listened intently to what Nene might say.

"Well,..." As Nene told her everything about how she had felt when struggling on a gift for Emu, Miku seemed to have an idea. She'd relay said idea to Nene, who thanked Miku for the help.

After Miku left, Nene would text Emu and ask her to come over. With Miku's idea in mind, Nene knew exactly how to make Emu's birthday a worthwhile experience for the two of them.

☆•┈••✦★ ♪∞∞♪ ★✦••┈���☆

"Wooaahh! Thanks for inviting me over, Nene! Your room is so cozy-wozy, hehe!" Emu exclaimed in unexplainable happiness as she looked around the songstress' bedroom.

"Of course," Nene spoke with a soft smile, setting herself down on the bed. She remembered what she had planned with the help of Miku, before speaking up.

"Aah, Emu? Could you come over here really quick? It's something reeeaaallly important!"

Emu perked up at the request, a radiant smile on her face as she nodded and rushed over next to grayish-green haired girl. She'd tilt her head slightly, waiting for Nene to speak up once more.

Instead, Nene just wrapped her arms around the cheerful girl in a gentle but firm hug. This action grew Emu's confusion as she noticed the warm, yet playful smirk on Nene's lips.

"Nene? What are you- EEP! Wahahaha! Nehehehene! Thahat tickles!"

Nene chuckled fondly, murmuring softly as her nails gently skittered across Emu's sides with ease. "Hehe, it tickles? Well, it's supposed to, silly! That's the whole point!"

"Nehehehe-Nene! Wahahahahaha! Nohohoho!"

Emu flailed her arms slightly through surprised and squeaky giggles, not necessarily fighting back. Her giggles got a little louder once Nene had glided her fingers over to Emu's ribcage, which the songstress took notice of.

"Is this a bad spot, Emu? Is it too much?" She'd ask fondly, no hint of malice or playfulness since she didn't want to go too far or overstep any boundaries. Nene's smile returned when Emu shook her head in happy giggled, although she did eventually let up after another minute or two.

"Hehe, you're so silly. Was it okay?" Emu would immediately nod in response to the question, still slightly giggling as Nene giggled along for a little bit.

"Mhm! Hehehe, thank you Nene! Thahat was soho wonderhohoy!"

"You don't need to thank me, it was actually Miku's idea. I was kind of struggling on a gift, so I had asked her for help.

Emu felt her face light up, even happier than earlier. She'd immediately hug Nene back, smiling brightly.

"Hehe! But I still wanna thank you though! It was a lot of fun!"

The grayish-green haired songstress felt her heart melt, bringing a hand up to playfully ruffle Emu's hair as she spoke.

"I'm glad you had fun. Happy birthday, Emu!"

☆•┈••✦★ ♪∞∞♪ ★✦••┈•☆

[bteezxyewriter12]

Only You/ 10

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 3.5k

Includes- Sex, Missionary, Cock riding, multiple orgasms, so much fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @jintheastronaut

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝BTS Masterlist 📝Yoongi Masterlist

J POV

I've been worrying for three days

After realizing I love Yoongi, I can't stop thinking about that

And I have no clue what to do

It was that night that we were together

I know that's when I fell for him

I just had this unexplainable feeling of wanting him to stay with me

I felt so safe and so happy in his arms

And I haven't felt like that since that night

I haven't been as happy as I was that night

That's insane

I'm so scared of telling him

What if he really doesn't feel like that for me?

What if it was just sex for him?

I'm back to where I was when I thought I just liked him

I can't handle our friendship being ruined because he doesn't feel like that for me

I can't imagine my life without Yoongi in it

It's overwhelming to think about and I'm going to have a panic attack if I keep thinking about it

Now that I know I love him all I want is him

I want him to smile at me, to kiss me

To tell me he loves me

God I want that so bad

To hear him say that....would be the best thing in the world

And I'm so terrified that he won't say it

That he won't want me

But there's one thing I know for sure

I have to break up with Hobi

It's not fair to stay with him when I don't love him

When I love someone else

He deserves to be loved by someone who can give him that

And it's not me

Not anymore

I really can't believe this

If you asked me last year, I would of said I'd be with Hobi forever

There was no doubt in my mind

Now that's no where near what I want

And I feel so horrible about it

---------------------------

Walking into the practice room, I spot Hobi dancing across the room

I decided that I have to end things today with him

It's just not fair to him and I can't keep leading him on

I texted him and he said he was practicing

"Hobi", I call

He stops and turns to me

"Hey Jo", he smiles

God, his smile used to knock all the breathe from my lungs

Now it's Yoongi's smile that does that

And I'm aware of how fucked up that is

He comes over to me, kissing me

"What's up aegi?"

I'm so nervous, hot and sweaty

I don't want to do this

I don't want to hurt him

But I'm hurting him more by staying

"Uh I have to talk to you", I say

His eyebrow raises, "Uh ok"

Just say it

"I can't be with you anymore Hobi", I say quickly

"What why?", he asks immediately, looking upset

I don't want to say it

I don't want to hurt him

But I can't be with him

Not when I love someone else

"I'm sorry but my feelings for you have changed. I don't want to lie to you or lead you on.", I get out

"But you said you loved me when we got back together"

I did love him

But I also love Yoongi

And that love is stronger than the love I felt for him

That love for Yoongi is what erased my romantic love for Hobi

I still love and care about Hobi but as a friend

"I did Hobi. But it isn't there anymore"

A look of anger comes on his face

"It's because of Yoongi isn't it?", he snaps

"Hobi-"

"You love him, don't you? I knew from the second I found out you two slept together. You were being so distant. It's like you weren't there. You thought about him while having sex with me. You thought about him when you were with me didn't you? All the times we were watching TV or laying down and I had to call you over and over, you were thinking about him"

I don't say anything

What can I say?

Nothing that will make him feel better

So I keep quiet

"He always wanted you. He tried to hide it but I knew. The guys knew. Then he told me he always loved you. But I didn't think you'd ever feel like that for him"

Shock hits my body

What?

Yoongi always loved me?

Why didn't I see it?

I wasn't looking that's why

Not until we slept together

Then I started noticing him that way

And I'm a fucking idiot

I could of had the best guy in the world years ago

If I just woke up

But I see now and I want him so much

I just hope he still wants me

"Yes Hobi. I'm sorry but I love Yoongi"

He lets out a breath of anger

"Did you love him when we got back together?"

I need to be honest

"I did but I didn't know that I did"

"What the fuck does that mean?", he yells

"I uh had feelings for him but I didn't think it was love. I just realized it was love the other day"

He runs his hand in his hair, upset

"But I love you Jo. Why can't you love me like you used to? I'm sorry for everything I did, for hurting you. Can't you just try?", he begs

"I did Hobi. I tried for two months. But I can't try anymore Hobi. It's not fair to you. I can't love you like that. You deserve to be loved by someone who can give it to you. I can't and I'm sorry", I apologize

"I don't want anyone else. I want you"

"I'm so sorry"

"I can't believe this shit", he shouts

He looks at me in such anger, "Just go away"

"Hobi, I'm sorry"

He snorts, "Yeah ok. I bet you're going to run to Yoongi right now, right?"

I wasn't going to

I was going to wait but now that Hobi told me Yoongi loves me, I just want to tell him

To get it over with no matter the outcome

I don't answer Hobi

"Whatever just leave", he snaps, turning and walking away from me

I feel so bad but there's nothing I can do

I can't make myself love Hobi

And even if I could, I don't know if I'd want to

Not with the way I feel about Yoongi

I turn and leave the practice room

---------------------------

"Just go knock on the door", I tell myself

I've been sitting in my car in front of the dorm for twenty minutes, trying to summon the courage to talk to Yoongi

"Stop being a baby. You're here all the time. Just get out of the car"

I sigh and get out of the car

Walking to the dorm door, I ring the bell and wait

Namjoon opens the door

"Hi Joonie."

"Oh hey Jo. Hobi isn't here"

"Oh uh I'm here to see Yoongi", I answer

"Oh ok. He's sleeping so good luck waking him up", he smiles

"Thanks"

I go inside and walk to Yoongi's room

I'm so scared

I'm about to tell my best friend I love him

I finally get to his door and knock

I'm actually surprised, when he answers the door

I thought he was asleep

When I look at him, love for him bursts all over my body

He's has on a t-shirt, shooky pj pants, his hair messy and he's never looked so fucking sexy

"Jo? What's up?", he asks, surprised

I don't know what comes over me

Moving closer to him, I put my arms around him, stand on my toes and kiss him

I love that his arms go around me immediately, kissing me back

After, he looks at me confused and I just blurt everything out

"I love you Yoongi. So much. I just want you. No one else. I'm sorry I didn't see you before. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention. You're everything I could ever want. You're perfect. I can't stop thinking about you. I'm so in love with you. You're the only one I want"

He's just looking at me, not saying anything

Maybe this was a mistake

I feel my face get hot, then I look down, avoiding his eyes

I guess he doesn't feel like that anymore

I don't blame him, I took too long to notice him

I feel his hand lift up my face to his, looking in my eyes

"Finally", he whispers, then kisses me again

I hear his door slam shut, then he picks me up, my legs going around him

He carries me to his bed, laying me in the middle of it, him on top of me

Yes

I miss him so much

I miss feeling his kiss, him holding me, his hands on me, his body against mine

He kisses my neck, feeling so good

"I love you Joanne. So much", he says between kisses

"I only ever wanted you", he continues, "Just you, my whole life. I never felt like this for anyone. Only you. It's only ever been you. Just in love with you."

"I love you Yoongi", I answer

"Fuck I love hearing you say that", he looks up at me, "I never thought I'd ever hear you say that to me jagi"

"Now you'll hear it all the time Yoongi. I'll always say it. I love you"

His face bursts into his gorgeous smile

"I love your smile Yoongi. It's so beautiful. Just like you"

"Not as beautiful as you Jo. Everything about you is gorgeous and so perfect. I love you so much", he answers

He kisses me again and I melt

I will never get enough of his kisses

"You're mine now. I'm never letting you go", he tells me

I nod, "You better not. Because you're mine too and you'll never get rid of me"

"Always Jo. I was always just yours and I'll be yours forever. Just yours"

"Fuck Yoongi, I love you more than anything"

"I love you more than anything Jo. Always", he whispers

I move hair from his eyes, "My Yoongi"

He smiles again, then says, "My Joanne"

I smile at him, nodding

Then his lips are on mine again, his hands touching me all over

I pull his shirt up and off

I fucking love Yoongi's body

Everything about him

He was getting a little insecure because some haters were commenting on him gaining weight

I couldn't give two fucks

I love everything about him

I couldn't careless if he gains weight, he's still my everything, still so fucking sexy

My perfect everything

He gets my shirt off and before I know it, our clothes are all off

He kisses my chest, while putting my legs around him

Yoongi puts his face in my neck, kissing my skin over and over and sending chills down my spine

I hold him to me, one arm around his back, my other hand in his hair

He slowly pushes in, feeling fucking incredible

"Yoongi, fuck, god Yoongi", I moan, pressing my body against his, as close as I can while I shiver against him, my body going insane just like the first time

"I love the way you react to me baby", he whispers

I love how he can get me to feel like this and I missed feeling this way so much

I fucking love feeling this way with him

"God, fuck", he moans while he gets all the way in

His body trembles and I hold him tighter to me

He slowly starts moving, pulling back then sliding back in

Holy fuck, he feels so good

"Jesus jagi", he moans again, "I missed you"

"I missed you too Yoongi. So much", I whimper

His movements get faster and harder, every time he thrusts in

Pleasure explodes in me with every move he makes

Feeling Yoongi against me, his skin on mine, his arms holding me to him, his lips kissing me everywhere, makes me feel like I'm in heaven

Just like the first time

There's nowhere I'd rather be than with him right now

"I love you", I tell him

He moans, his arms tightening around me

"I love you", he whispers

He feels so good, my hips start moving, meeting his thrusts, making him go in so much deeper

"Fuck", he cries

I fucking love that we move together giving each other so much pleasure at the same time

I love the feeling that I can't tell where he starts and I end, we're just one together

And I feel myself getting ready to explode

"Yoongi, oh Yoongi", I moan as my orgasm washes over me

"Baby, my baby", Yoongi moans, kissing me everywhere he can while I cum

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

Yoongi POV

I can't fucking believe she loves me

I can't

I never, in a million years, thought she'd ever love me

And she came to me

She told me she loves me

On her own

I've never been happier

I finally have the girl I always wanted

I keep moving, going a little harder

"Ffff....fuck", she stutters

"You feel so good baby", I whimper in between kisses

She does feel so good

The first time we had sex, my mind was blown

I know it was because I love her

But now it's even better because I know we both love each other

She moves with me, her hips meeting my thrusts

Shit, the pleasure feels so intense

I feel her arms around me, holding me to her tightly, her hand sliding into my hair and I love it

She turns her head and starts kissing my neck

Shit, it feels so good, making me moan

Her kisses keep going, down to my shoulder and part of my arm

She kisses back up and when she gets to my neck, she whispers, "I love you Yoongi. So much"

Pure happiness bursts into my body

I can never stop hearing her say that

It's something I never thought I'd ever hear and now that I have, I want to hear it all the time

"Yoongi", she moans

I feel her getting ready by how tight she's getting, how hard she's throbbing around me

"Jagi", I whisper

"Kiss me naekkeo", she asks

I press my lips to hers, loving the feeling of her lips on mine

She opens her mouth, her tongue slipping in mine

Fuck

Her hand moves to my face, holding it while she kisses me

I love her so much

Sliding back inside her, she explodes, squeezing me tightly, her body pressing against mine

She moans against my lips while she orgasms

It feels fucking amazing and the pleasure takes over

I moan, coming as well, in pure bliss "Baby, Joanne, jagi"

"Yoongi, my Yoongi", she calls, holding me close to her, "My Yoongi feels so good"

Fuck, she's so fucking amazing

She rolls over and I'm on my back again, like last time

I'm so excited

She rides me perfectly and I love watching her

She sits on me, smirking down

"Is my Yoongi still hard?"

I nod

Of course I fucking am

With her I always am

"Want more?", she asks

I nod again

She leans over me, kissing me softly

"Anything for my Yoongi.", she whispers in my ear

I yelp a little when she says it

"I love you", she says, kissing me on the cheek

She sits up straight and moves until she gets just the tip of me in her

Then she moves down slowly, making me cry out in pleasure

"Fuck Jo, I...it feels sss...so..."

I can't think right now

What she's doing to me, fuck it shuts my brain off

"Mmmmmm", she moans, moving faster on me, her little hands on my chest

I force my eyes open so I can watch her

Just like last time, my eyes are glued to her

"My Yoongi likes to watch?", she smirks

"Yeah. You're so fucking beautiful", I murmur

She blushes and it's so cute

"I want my Yoongi to touch", she asks

I immediately move my hands on her, touching her sides, her arms, her stomach, her breasts and her hips

Anywhere my hands can touch her gorgeous soft skin

"Fuck Yoongi, I love everything you do", she moans, "Your hands are the best baby, I love you touching me"

That's funny because I feel the same way about her

When she touches me, my skin just trembles and it feels good

"Jagi, no one has ever made me feel as good as you", I moan, "Just you. I'm so fucking happy it's you"

"I know naekkeo. You make me feel the same way and I love that it's you too", she moans, "You're my perfect everything"

I can't believe she's saying these things

The cute names she's saying

To me

She's telling me I'm perfect

My dumb ass

"Joanne you're perfect for me jagi. I knew you would be"

She smiles, leaning down kissing me again

"I love you naekkeo", she whispers and happiness floods my body

She sits back up, bouncing harder and faster on me

Grabbing her hips, I slam her down on me hard, smashing into her spot

"Yoongi!", she yells, "More"

"Yes jagi. I'll always give you whatever you want"

I keep moving her hard on me over and over, feeling how tight she is

She's so wet, leaving my cock soaked

I love seeing it on me

"Cmon baby girl, I want it", I moan, "Please give it to me"

Slamming her down again, she squeezes my cock so hard, exploding, screaming my name, her body shuddering

"Yoongi!"

God she's so beautiful to watch

And the bliss I'm feeling is incredible

I keep moving her on me, hitting her spot, making her cum again right away

Fuck yes

I love this

Last time it was fucking amazing making her cum over and over

And I've wanted to do it again so much

I thrust up into her, making her scream

"Louder jagi. Scream my name louder", I urge her

I love hearing her scream my name

It's the best sound ever

Shit, her saying my name in any way is the best sound ever

She listens and screams louder

"Yoongi! Fuck!"

I slam in her, causing another orgasm

"I can't. You feel so good baby. I can't take it!", she shouts

"Who the hell is that?", I hear Jimin yell

"Yoongi is with a girl!", Namjoon yells back

"No shit. Who is it?", Jungkook asks

"Joanne", Namjoon answers

"What the fuck?", Tae shouts, "Isn't she with Hobi?"

"Apparently not, idiot", Jungkook yells

"Yoongi", she moans softly

"Ignore them jagi. I want you to scream baby. Please?"

She nods

Thrusting fast and hard, I feel her getting ready again

God I want it so much

I can never have enough of her orgasms

Just like I can never get enough of her kisses

"Yoongi, Yoongi, fuck Yoongi!", she screams exploding again

"Good girl. My good girl", I praise her

"Yoongi!", she shouts, "I want you to cum baby"

"Jesus Christ", one of the guys yells

"Yeah jagi. Cum one more time for me", I ask

I don't know what it is but I need to feel her cum so I can

I can't cum without her orgasm

It's never been like that before with anyone else but her

I wouldn't have it any other way

I love making her cum and I love the way it feels so it's a win for me and her

I slam into her, making her climax instantly

"Yoongi", she screams at the top of her lungs

She throbs so tightly on my cock and I can't take it

"Joanne, fuck, Joanne! Jagi yes!", I scream, holding her on me and coming so fucking hard my whole body shakes

I don't care who hears me

She feels too good for me to care

"Goddamn", Jimin yells

Hell yes goddamn

"Oh god Yoongi!", she screams, coming again while I cum

What the fuck just happened?

Did she just orgasm from me coming?

"Jagi. Fuck. Did you just cum from me coming?", I ask her in disbelief

"Yes Yoongi. You just, fuck feel so good. I felt you coming and I couldn't stop it", she whimpers

"You are fucking amazing Jo. Holy shit", I tell her in shock

"Thanks. I try", she giggles

I laugh, pulling her down to me in a kiss

She moves off and lays down in my arms

"Now what?", she asks

"Now we nap and after we go out to eat", I answer, hoping she agrees

I want to sleep with her in my arms again so much

I forgot how much I missed that last time we were together

"Ok naekkeo, sounds good", she says, kisses me, "I love you"

"I love you", I tell her, "So much"

She presses her lips to mine in a sweet kiss, then lays on my chest, cuddling into me

Closing my eyes, I hold her to me tightly, thanking whoever is out there that I finally have her

[newyorkmylife]

Karaoke on the first date

I just got back home. It's a chilly night of summer. I can't believe it.

A few hours ago, at 5:30pm I was rushingly eating a yogurt with walnuts and adjusting my hair. I had asked a girl on Hinge to go to karaoke for the first date.

Karaoke? For the first date? With someone you've never met before?

Yep, I too thought it could be a bit strange or difficult to make it happen. She said yes though. And - later on - she revealed to me she too thought it was unusual for a first date.

Her English name is Chloe, she's from South Korea. Talking to her seemed natural and easy from the very beginning. She's full of positive energy and smiles. By pure chance they gave us a huge karaoke room and we also paid half price for 2 hours because of a summer BOGO. Amazing, right?

We started singing and although it could be embarrasing since we had just met... I actually didn't care. And we simply vibed. We talked about the songs we like and sang. And kept teasing each other.

After the 2 hours, we headed out and I was wondering what will happen next. I was convinced that would be it. I was ready to say bye and lose myself in a sea of doubts about what will happen next and how will I invite her for a 2nd date, is she gonna accept, is she gonna text back, what did she think about the date...

BUT

she suggested going to the park. And I was all for it! I love just hanging out and having a nice conversation at the park. It got dark and after a little walking we found a nice bench. We were sitting pretty close and she looked at me in the eyes deeply. Even though the conversation wasn't that romantic, I could feel something was in the air. I really wanted to kiss her. I came up with some cheesy line about her eyes and cuteness. At first I didn't think about the cheesiness much, I just thought I should compliment girls more on dates. As long as my thoughts were sincere. And I think... it might have worked. After I told her she has very pretty eyes she laughed, thanked me and said the line was sooo cheesy. Can't blame her there!

But I really really wanted to kiss her. I just waited for us lock eyes again. And. I leaned in for the kiss. She asked me "wait do you wanna kiss?". I stopped and got back. She then started telling me about the many differences in relationships and dating she had heard from her new friends from different countries like Brazil and France. She's been in Toronto for only 3 months and a lot of things are new to her. We talked about that a little and I told her I wanted to kiss her. She let me. I was so happy. I didn't quite expect what happened though. She didn't really know how to kiss with tongue. So we started playing the teacher and student. It was so much fun. I felt like I was really myself. I felt alive. I felt young. I felt like I was having fun. Like all of a sudden I was transported back to my late years of adolescence, to being 19 and innocent and naturally courageous for a lack of unexplainable cautiousness.

It was beautiful. Every moment of it was beautiful. Despite the night getting cold and the fact that I was getting tired because I didn't even have dinner... I wished that moment would never end. I wished we could be on that bench forever. Embraced with each other. Talking about the little things, talking about the more important things. And then kissing again, losing ourselves in a passionate kiss, completely absorbed by each other, the softness of our lips, our mild scents. The chilly summer night and the lively park that were accompanying us in that beautiful adventure simply added to the whole experience. Truly out of a romance book.

At the beginning she couldn't kiss well. And she kept interrupting the kisses to laugh and giggle. She was so cute even though she doesn't want to be. I just wanted to kiss her more and more and tell her more cheesy lines.

The night had to end at some point. Like all things in life. Our kisses got even more passionate and I felt like we could've gotten closer and closer, more intense and really steamy... but I didn't wanna push for sex on the first date. I didn't want it to be a random hook up.

We walked back to the station and since it was midnight (we kissed and talked for 3 hours!) she called an Uber. I got her number and kissed her quickly one last time as she was rushing to get in the car.

There's no knowing what will happen tomorrow.

But something important - and life-changing - has happened tonight. I'm here sitting in my room, feeling naturally and amazingly tired as if I had run for miles, but it was really just us kissing and kissing a lot. I turned 26 just a few days ago and tonight the curse was broken.

All the effort paid off. I can say it loud and proud. Finally I can say 39 matches on Hinge were not for nothing. Finally I can say every time I pushed myself beyond my limit to send that one next message, to go to that one more social event... it was not for nothing. Finally I can say that the teachings of Marcus Aurelius have truly become part of me and entered my subconscious in a way that has reflected itself positively in my life. Finally I can say I am happy. Happy to live this life. Happy to be here. Happy to be myself. Happy to have not given up on life. Happy to have trusted Chloe to sing together and get closer little by little but also very fast in this one memorable summer night.

I took the subway to go home and listened to Kenshi Yonezu happily as if I was 16 again, coming back home from school after my crush had given me a small compliment. I wanted to jump and dance. When I got back into my room, despite being so hungry, I didn't think about eating. I listened to music and cried. I cried because I knew one whole year of romantic devastation had finally come to a close. I have finally proven to myself that I am worthy of love, affection and attention. I am worthy of my own space on this Earth. I am worthy of this life.

Thank you, Chloe. I really wanna see you again. But if we don't... thank you anyway.

I've learned so much from you in just a few hours. And I hope you are happy with what you learned from me. Thank you.

[realationshipstuff]

Is this how a relationship is supposed to feel?

As we approach fall, I always have moments where I reflect on my life as my birthday nears. Currently, I'm happily living with my partner, have a job, and no debt. I've also started a new hobby - playing volleyball on the beach and grass - which I find very relaxing. It's a great way to socialize, meet new people, form genuine friendships, and be myself. I should feel happy and contented. However, there's still an unexplainable void within me that I can't pinpoint.

My partner and I are good. Like any couple, we have our ups and downs, but we get through them. I'm not perfect, and neither is he. There are things I'm still figuring out about him. For instance, when we converse, he tends to talk at length, taking a long time to finish his thoughts. I haven't met many people who communicate like that. Typically, conversations involve give-and-take, but with him, it's mostly give. These quirks don't affect our daily life. I'm usually out of the house every day, and when I return, I sometimes want to discuss my day. However, it feels like he's not always willing to make time for us to talk, rushing to get back to his TV show. I'm not asking for four hours of conversation; we spend less than an hour talking per day. My question is, is that normal?

I feel like we're in a rut. We have sex once a week, if we're lucky, and when we do, there's no romance involved. It's like we're just going through the motions; I'm okay with that, but I know he's not satisfied because he's mentioned it before. Since he's not getting his needs met with me, I wonder if he's seeking it elsewhere.

There are secrets he doesn't know that I'm aware of, and I think it's better left unspoken. However, when I stumble upon evidence, I'm unsure how to process my emotions. I'm uncertain if I feel hurt, angry, or indifferent. I don't know if that's normal, as we haven't discussed it as a couple. But it seems we're both comfortable avoiding the conversation. And again, is that normal?

I woke up today wondering, is this the relationship I want to be in? I'm unsure if the media is influencing my thoughts, but I've seen real couples being 'normal' - talking without antagonizing each other, exploring new places, getting excited about things, and surprising each other. We're never like that. He seems unmotivated towards me, which is sad. This morning, I considered staying at my mom's place for a few days to see how I'd feel. I want us to miss each other. Living together can make it challenging to feel that way, as we don't have the chance to miss each other like we used to when we had our own apartments. I miss the feeling of him texting me to come over, and not wanting to leave his side the next morning. I think I miss that spark. We need to discuss this eventually, but I need to feel comfortable sharing my feelings with him. Writing here is therapeutic, though!

[fallloverfic]

Solo Leveling Episode 8 Thoughts

And we're back!!! Spoilery thoughts for the anime, novel, and manhwa below:

The system gave Jinwoo a lottery ticket alkdjlaj

He gets emails!!! I am ridiculously happy he gets and checks emails alkdjaldja Or at least text messages/blasts. Me last time: why doesn't he use his email. Now: FINE HE GETS EMAILS.

aldkjalj I'm happy.

It's neat we get to actually see Yoojin approaching Cha Haein. It's nice to see more of the guild corporate warfare.

We get to see Kim Sangshik's family! And his kids get names and ages! Can't imagine why they would give us that :D >.< It feels kind of like the progression of Fullmetal Alchemist in adaptation, where each one made a particular event all the more gut-wrenching.

Baek Yoonho and Choi Jongin's added flirting is everything. I love this addition. Choi Jongin just wants to go on a date with you, Baek Yoonho. Goodness, chill.

Thank you, A-1, for everything, but this shot in particular.

Choi Jongin is amazing this episode. I'm so glad they added these. The emphasis on his relationship with Baek Yoonho is lovely. I was happy the novel has more of them interacting and sad the manhwa kind of removed it. More is appreciated, thank you :3

Lee Joohee's mom sucks. No wonder she doesn't call much, jeez. I feel so bad for her. She's so sidelined in the novel and even though she gets a little more in the manhwa, she was still heavily sidelined for no particular reason (I guess maybe she's really pushy to Sung Jinwoo for no particular reason and he deserves better? Which yeah, okay, I can see why things turn out the way they do). I'm really glad she at least gets more development in the anime.

I like the show focusing more on the relationship between Cha Haein and Choi Jongin. They have a professional relationship. It's just kind of not there in the novel and not even really in the manhwa, either, though it's slightly more emphasized? Ever so slightly. Here they're really reminding us, "yes, they work together, they get along, they communicate, it's not just Choi Jongin being smug", which I appreciate. Cha Haein's extra development in the anime is generally really appreciated.

Choi Jongin has trauma from Jeju T-T Bebe. I love that they added this. So far as I can recall, it's not mentioned in the novel that he went to Jeju in the past at all; that seems to have been added for the anime, and I don't mind the change here. It's fun development. Give me that angst :3

It looks like either Eunseuk sacrificed himself for Min Byunggu and Baek Yoonho to get away or he died for some reason and they had to leave him behind...? T-T Traumatized beans T-T It's really neat how many kind of quiet/unexplained plotlines they're developing here. Really fleshes out the characters very well.

Song Chiyul and Sung Jinwoo's relationship gives me life every time. It's so sweet.

That last hunter who is not Kang Taesik gets named at last! Mr. Kang! Wonder if he'll get a first name.

And yeah, as expected, Sung Jinwoo says yes to Yoo Jinho's request so he can get stronger and get the elixir to help his mom. It makes sense. It's not a bad change for him to say no and then come back to the weirdly empty cafe to say yes now.

That was a good ep :D So glad the show is back!! Also sending well wishes to Taito Ban, the Japanese voice actor for Sung Jinwoo. He had COVID at least as of 13 February 2024, but he was back to work on 19 February 2024, and I don't really think that's enough time to recover... Hope he's doing better. (Also this likely wouldn't have affected Solo Leveling season 1 at all, likely all his work was long since done).

Looking forward to the next ep!

More episode thoughts:

S01E05

S01E06

S01E07

S01E08 (you are here)

S01E09

S01E10

S01E11

S01E12

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

Happy Halloween, spookies! 

Because we are a book club, and our faves released a whole entire book, what better what to round out October with a discussion on Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural: 101 True Tales of Hauntings, Demons, and the Paranormal! 

We gathered round the proverbial campfire and shared our favorite tidbits from the book. It’s delightfully written, with excellent stories in between the sometimes-chaotic commentary Ryan and Shane offer throughout the stories, exactly like you’d imagine an episode of BFU to be written. We had so much fun laughing at the jokes, and being genuinely curious about the writing process.

Quite the send off for such a phenomenal series that brought so many people together. If you haven’t read it yet, we urge you to if you can, though listening to the audiobook was worth it for a few tiny little surprises that weren’t included in the text version! 

Title: Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural: 101 True Tales of Hauntings, Demons, and the Paranormal

Rating: N/A

Summary: Based off one of the most popular web series on the internet, Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej present BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural, 101 of the scariest, spookiest, and creepiest locations around the USA and a few abroad, with 50 percent brand-new content and locales exclusive to the book. 

Hey there, demons! BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural has entertained viewers over the course of seven spooky seasons, covering the supernatural and otherworldly spirits, to ghosts, ghouls, unexplained paranormal activity, and everything in between. In their thrilling debut book, cohosts Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara (lovingly known as the “ghoul boys” to fans) deep-dive into dozens of haunted locations around the USA and a few abroad, including subjects from some of their most favorite and talked about episodes, as well as brand-new locations not previously seen before on their show.  

As they explore the history behind haunted houses, creepy graveyards, former insane asylums, abandoned buildings, and horrifying hotels, Shane and Ryan use their trademark wit and humor to dissect each terrifying tale with their most hilarious highlights and biting commentary. So hold on to your hell-bound soul, boys and ghouls—it’s about to get demonic up in here. 

Book Club Thoughts: 

i loved getting one last bit of classic bfu goof 'em ups

yes! i thought the writing process was really interesting that they were just doing it in a google doc essentially

The intimacy of cowriting in a gdoc together is something I thought only fic writers share

i don't know if this was in any way on purpose but the one time the narrator talks back to them made me howl because they waited so far in the book to actually do that

i didn't actually read the book, so whatever differences pop up are lost on me, but i appreciate the way the book is crafted, with the pictures and differences in their "hand writing"

my favorite bits by far were the places they covered that they never covered in unsolved

i think the differences is because the writing feels a bit scripted-- which makes sense, a lot of writing does because it is, but they wanted the audiobook to have the authentic off-the-cuff banter feeling of the series. so lines were altered a bit to sound more natural and less like they're reading off a script, and sometimes that would lead to new riffs or bits

it's the way my brain protects me and erases everything ryan and shane say

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT DISCUSSION? CHECK OUT THE FAQ, AND SEND US AN ASK! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FIC RECS, PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR READS, NOMINEES AND BOOK CLUB REC LISTS!

[thompsborn]

Not really an ask but its Homeward Bound related: I’m so okay with spoilers and I’m so obsessed with the new Spider gang :,,,) Harry Osborn you are so dear to me. What’s he up to in the sequel while Harley is getting beaten down violently by life?

HARRY!!!!!! oh my god okay i already rambled so much about hb harry in this ask that i answered but i will GLADLY ramble more about my son. my boy. center of my universe.

so, in order to address harry in the sequel, we kinda have to recap where he’s at in the first fic.

so, slight spoiler: the last three chapters dont have like a whole lot of harry or gwen. like they’re in it, but like i’ve said before, homeward bound is PETER’S story post no way home and focuses solely on him, which is why the whole fic is told from his pov. peter’s story post no way home obviously is heavily influenced by him meeting harry and gwen, but for this final stretch of the fic, it’s mostly about peter and harley and the climax of the investigation and then the last chapter is kind of leading into the next era of the series. so these last three chapters definitely have harry and gwen in them, but only in small portions, as it’s focusing more on wrapping up the first fic and transitioning into the second fic, which is peter and harley’s story post homeward bound.

hopefully that makes sense? it adds up in my head but idk if i’m explaining it very well lmao.

but! anyway! hb harry in the sequel:

so, in the first fic, a lot of stuff has been hinted at for harry. a lot of unexplained stuff has been brought up, you know? such as his inherent desperation for friends, his anxieties, just how hard it hit him when peter told him about being an orphan twice over. i mean, yeah, harry has revealed a lot, too, mostly in very rambly texts to peter trying to explain himself and why he values their friendship (both between just him and peter as well as their friend group as a whole) where he does explain that he’s never had friends before and such. and again, in the post i linked above, i do ramble quite a bit about harry, including some important bits that i'm gonna bring up here:

i haven’t really gone in depth with his background prior to the start of the fic - all that’s really been established is that he was raised by his single mom, emily, in the suburbs of new york, and up until esu, he never had any friends, which contributes to why he values his friendships with peter, gwen, and harley so much. and, obviously, he doesn’t know who his dad is and doesn’t really care to find out. his background is going to be explored more down the line in the series...but what i’ll say here is that his childhood was pretty confusing to him. he was happy with his mom, yeah, and he may not have been raised rich but he was never poor, either - he never worried about food or clothes that fit or losing their house. he grew up comfortable. but also he grew up unsure about a lot of things. he was never able to make friends because he didn’t really understand how. the kids at school never seemed to struggle with talking to each other and making up games on the spot and becoming friends in a matter of minutes, but his brain just never worked like that. he could never figure out what to say, he could never really get into the games the other kids wanted to play, and while he liked running around a playground sometimes, he always preferred a book or a worksheet. he’s not neurotypical, is basically what i’m trying to say. then again, literally none of these characters are, but harry was never like a “normal” kid...so basically, harry struggled to understand a lot of things, like how to make friends, like why he didn’t know who his dad was (his mom has always told him that it doesn’t matter, which is kind of why harry now doesn’t care because he’s always been told it doesn’t matter so why would be care about something that doesn’t matter, right?), and various other things in the world and the people around him.

so, all of that ^ is going to come into play the further into the series that we get. but it doesn't get properly explored until the third fic, which is going to introduce harry's pov (as well as some other characters). in the second fic, though, it's building off what we already know while continuing to hint more at other things.

here's some things to consider:

harley now knows about spider-man, meaning that peter and harley are now going to have another layer to their bond that neither of them are going to have with harry or gwen. harry has already been shown to have anxiety about his friends leaving him behind and, while harley and peter's dynamic is going to change to more than a friendship which is going to bring some comfort to harry due to him being able to rationalize that of course they're closer, they're literally into each other romantically, that anxiety isn't going to go away.

as harley becomes more and more involved in the spidey side of peter's life, he's going to become more and more protective of peter ("my mama says i have the heart of a protector" - harley, chapter 2 of homeward bound) and while he's going to logically know that harry and gwen are their friends and they mean the best and would never hurt peter, that protectiveness is going to lead to occasionally bumping heads (and also some tension between him and peter because peter doesn't need to be protected and is going to struggle with letting someone step up for him like that after losing everyone else who ever did, whilst harley is going to struggle with fighting the intensity of his protectiveness as this is his first time wanting to protect someone that he has such intense feelings for, etc etc.) so harry's anxieties are going to be kind of worsened at times because of harley occasionally letting his protectiveness get the better of him.

harry isn't stupid. he doesn't want to assume his friends are lying to him (part of why it took him so long to get to the point where he gets genuinely upset with peter in hb about all the lying and hiding) but when everything points to him being left in the dark about something, he's going to draw the proper conclusion. harley knows about spidey. gwen doesn't know about spidey, but she knows about peter's investigation and is going to continue to bring it up to peter even in the sequel. harry doesn't know anything other than the fact that peter's lost all of his family and has a lot of scars that he doesn't know the origins of.

what that ^ means is that we're going to be getting some very curious and suspicious harry content. and also:

i have the entire scene for when harry finds out about spidey planned. and i am very excited to write it. (hint: the scene is originally told in harley's point of view, and then it comes back in a flashback in harry's point of view later in the series)

i'll stop there but just know that, while there is definitely plenty of harry content in the second fic, the THIRD fic is where it's really going to go in depth with him as a character!!

[nicawlette]

RELATIONSHIP BUILDING

@nobully asked: the good kind of spam ⭐️☎🎼👋📱

Send ⭐️ (or multiple) for a headcanons about our muses.

Perhaps the only reason Nicolette still insists on putting up a front and telling unnecessary lies in Wang Yi's presence despite knowing how similar they are is not because she's afraid he'll reject her if he knows too much, but that he won't. She's spent her whole life believing there'd always be a space between her and ❛ regular people ❜ she couldn't cross because of the things she's done, that she's long given up actively trying. But here's this person who's similar to her in many ways and can clearly see past her bullshit, yet doesn't seem to give a shit one way or another. Nicolette has no idea how to handle the idea of being SEEN ( being KNOWN ), that it both terrifies her, and makes her a little desperate not to be left behind. No wonder she tries so hard to get under his skin still.

Jumping off your HC, Nicolette has a sneaking suspicion already that Wang Yi follows her accounts. She can't prove it because there's too many followers to go through and he doesn't use his name, but she just knows in her BONES. She's made it a point to include more pictures and posts involving the trio that sometimes they nearly overtake her usual content ( fashion, sexy selfies, makeup, cute animals, ya know ). Some of her followers are a little bitter wondering who these 2 guys she's hanging out with all the time are, but who cares! She's clearly having fun.

Send ☎ for your muse’s info in my muses phone (name, ringtone, picture, last text received/sent).

photo: At one point, it was a photo she took quite suddenly after intentionally goading him until he looked pissed off and flustered. But it has since been changed to a picture she took in secret on a complete whim while he and @archaictold were being nerds and discussing their research at the library as she hung out in thee background ( until they were ready to pay attention to her ). He's got this earnest, almost excited expression on his face— a more sincere look of happiness than she's sure he'd ever direct her way. She just couldn't resist capturing for herself. name: 🌊Yi-Yi🌸 ringtone: pink venom ( she rarely uses default ringtones. prefers music or memes as ringtones/texttones )

last texts received: [txt] what's with the missed call?? [txt] that voicemail was creepy too... [txt] nicolette what did you do? [txt] you know what. nevermind. i don't want to be involved.

last texts sent: [txt] are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you? [txt] lanlan said i should try speaking to you in a language ur familiar with [txt] so i found the perfect video to intellectually express my predicament [txt] (video link) [txt] translation: i found out. pls help

Send 🎼 for a song that reminds me of our muses.

Palm Reader » DREAMERS, Big Boi ft. UPSAHL

This Hell » Rina Sawayama

BlindLife » YDE

Send 👋 for three things that describe our muses relationship.

Sitting so close to a burning fire that the heat is nearly painful on your skin, but being unwilling to step back because the air around you is far too cold.

The fear of being alone and afraid of monsters that lurk in the dark paired with the unexplainable sense of safety and protection you feel once you're completely covered under the blanket. Like it's dangerous, but nothing can get you under there...

A funhouse mirror

Send📱for a voicemail my muse left yours.

1 Voicemail — Saturday, 3:25AM

There's a long pause after the beep followed by some aggressive shuffling and then an out of breath, ❝ Hello? Wangy? Can you— ❞ The voice suddenly cuts off with more shuffling and some muffled shouting in the background. The wind is loud, nearly blowing the speaker out as if the caller is running outside. ❝ Oh for the love of— ❞ The sound of a scuffle can be heard and a string of expletives before a loud crashing noise. Silence. And finally, ❝ Hey Wangy... can you come pick me up? ❞

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Blue's Rose - Chapter 19 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

Boys Will Surrender 

Blue Cavanaugh & Kulap 'Kool' Somboon

"Sit."

After a slight hesitation, Kulap complied, settling the pillow behind and sitting back on the firm mattress.

"Keep going," Blue instructed, his voice softer, friendlier, despite the military style directives that kept shooting out of his mouth.

He wouldn't dare at this time tell Blue he found the way he was acting kind of sexy, he had the feeling Blue wouldn't appreciate hearing that right now, he seemed more concentrated on understanding Mia more and how Kulap could be getting married to her if he were gay.

Kulap smiled a sad smile, trying to explain the unexplainable wouldn't be easy.

Kulap explained to Blue that neither he nor Mia wanted to get married any time soon.

They were actually actively trying to delay the date for as long as possible, he further explained to Blue about the recent dinner and how he had been able to put the marriage off by a few years under the guise of Mia getting her Masters.

"Mia has her own..." Kulap trailed off.

"Mia has her own baggage," he simply stated without elaborating, it wasn't his to tell.

"I will never be able to marry who I want simply by being gay and she cannot either, we at least love each other and it is what our families expect. Pretty much since she was born," he finished with a laugh, his eyes turning to Blue for his reaction.

"How can you laugh?" he asked looking angry, Kulap frowned back at him in return.

"What do you want me to do? Cry?"

Kulap shook his head.

"I came to terms with this a long time ago, Blue. Even after meeting you," he said.

"Meeting someone that yes okay, I admit, I could love," he continued gruffly.

"Meeting you, falling for you, it was a first for me but it was painful as hell. That is why I did not return your calls or text or emails. It was too bloody painful."

Once started Kulap could not stop, words gushed forth as he tried to explain his actions 'himself'.

"It could never work between us. I could never have you and as you yourself said, you are not 'fucking gay'."

Blue looked shocked by the cuss words falling from Kulap's mouth, Blue cussed like a sailor on occasion whereas Kulap never cursed at all.

"So, I did not let myself think about you after I returned. With the exception of one night with Mia when she got me drunk so I would talk. I don't remember much about that night but she said I talked a lot and cried. All I know is I could not think about you and live on nonexistent hopes."

"Forget my family issues, like you said You. Are. Not. Gay. So I thought it was best to make a clean cut and I did not respond to you and I ignored you and I hurt you," his voice cracked before he regained control.

"I am sorry. You will never know how sorry I am for hurting you. It was never my intention. I was blindly protecting myself. I didn't even consider that it would hurt you," he admitted in a final rush, oddly lightened by the purging of words.

They sat on the bed together in silence for a little while, Kulap wondered what Blue was thinking, he didn't look happy but he didn't look upset either.

Blue suddenly leaned his head back against the head board and gave a deep sigh, a few seconds later he swiveled his head to look at Kulap.

"Was that an apology?"

Kulap didn't know what he expected Blue to say but he knew it wasn't that, he blinked.

"What?"

"Was that your apology?" Blue repeated, face expressionless.

Confused, Kulap replayed the last few moments over in his head, he frowned.

"Yeah. I guess," he mumbled feeling embarrassed for some unknown reason, he could feel his cheeks warming.

"Okay. I forgive you," Blue simply replied and Kulap looked up.

"You do? Just like that?"

Blue smiled a strange smile, he shifted down onto the bed, laying his head on the pillow and turning on his side to face Kulap.

"I don't know what it is about you but yeah. I'm not mad anymore."

Kulap pulled a face.

"What are you then?" he asked trying to figure out Blue's mood, he had watched him go from angry to sad to confused to fed up and a whole host of other emotions to now calmly lay there on his side staring at Kulap, saying he forgave him.

Kulap couldn't fathom Blue's thoughts, he kept staring at him, waiting for a clearer explanation, Blue smiled softly.

"A little sad, I guess."

Kulap frowned, that hurt, he didn't like Blue feeling sad especially if he were the cause, he scooted down in the bed and lay his head on the other pillow, facing him.

"Why are you sad?" he asked, their bodies facing each other, their faces inches apart.

Blue smiled another gentle smile, making Kulap's heart flip then flop in his chest.

"I don't really know. I just am," he answered in that still quiet voice.

Blue stared at Kulap a moment more he slowly reached his hand out and traced down the center of Kulap's face.

The tip of his finger softly glided from the center of his forehead down over the slope of his nose, over the bump of his lush lips, lingering there, before drifting further down into the small dip below his lower lip to finally settle at the point of chin.

Kulap shuddered unexpectedly, a simple touch, such an understatement for the feelings it produced.

Kulap felt the tightening in his muscles, chill bumps rose on his skin, his cock twitched, he grabbed Blue's hand where his index finger still lingered on his chin, he pulled it up and held it, entwining their fingers together and lay their joined hands softly against his cheek, he closed his eyes.

"I do not want you to be sad," he murmured quietly back, eyes still closed, a small humming noise escaping from the back of his throat at the pleasure of holding Blue's hand like this, laying with him.

The sheer simplicity of the moment was moving, Kulap's heart and his body.

Blue opened his hand and gently extricated Kulap's from his own causing Kulap's eyes to pop open in dismay but before he could react, he realized Blue only did this to free up his hand so that he could cup Kulap's cheek in his palm.

Closing his eyes once again Kulap lay there soaking up the pleasure of touching this man freely without feeling guilt, without feeling wrong.

Kulap finally opened his eyes to find Blue watching him.

There was an answering response of rightness reflected in Blue's eyes, there was also heat and need.

At that moment, Kulap leaned in toward Blue or Blue leaned in toward Kulap, he really wasn't sure who made the first move.

He only knew that his longing of four years was being returned and he didn't even think of turning away.

Like the kiss on the beach, this kiss went on and on.

The warm wetness of their mouths ground into each other's, heads tilting one way to make closer contact.

When that wasn't close enough, they angled yet another direction, repeatedly searching for the ultimate point of connection.

Open and hot and moist, breath's mingling, tongue's teasing.

Blue's hand remained against Kulap's cheek holding him in place for better access.

His thumb lightly grazing every so often along his high cheek bone, petting him when he remembered.

When he wasn't lost in the kiss, Kulap scooted his body closer and wound his arm around Blue's neck trying to get closer and closer, yet, he moaned in his throat and Blue responded with a husky dark growl of his own.

Kulap's cock hardened against the cloth of his clothes and he could feel the answering response of Blue's body along his thigh.

Blue suddenly whipped onto his back and pulled Kulap up and over him, a bit surprised at the strength of his move, Kulap opened his eyes and look down at the man he lay sprawled on top of.

Blue grinned up at him.

"Don't get used to it," he teased, making Kulap blush and laugh shakily down at him.

[coffee---bean]

workn on the music and stuff

hello! been working on the score for the film. its made from feedback sounds (made by pressing electric guitar leads with my fingers) and then adding drums. the drums were recorded on my phone very loosely, just about trying to slowly increase the intensity of the score by drumming faster and faster over time. i panned one drum to one side and another to the other side, so hopefully it'll feel disorienting and immersive in something that doesn't actually exist!

then i added "jisas yu holem hand blong mi", which is probably my favourite little song. like, my automatic answer type of thing. not my favourite right now but a good answer for my favourite.

it's kind of religious, i just like chanting and clapping and i don't know what the words mean but the notes are pretty. i used a beat delay thing to distort it and make it sound like a broken brain or something. i also got a low-pitched version of it and put it underneath the entire thing, just to kind of fill the piece out and add some bassier tones to it, since the feedback sounds are higher-pitched and sporadic in the first half.

then i added a little bit of singing to give the audio a more human quality, the sense that there's a person hidden deep inside this fucked-up-ness. it's very quiet, but there is a completely unaffected voice somewhere in the right channel, singing softly.

i also added some super reverby piano organ chords. the chords are in the key of the above song, the organ was chosen cos it's sort of religion-y, and the chords were performed so that they get thicker and more dissonant and random as the score continues. it's inspired by "fittier happier" by radiohead, which is obviously 100 times better than mine, but they spent like 3 years making OK Computer so umm fuck u

i remember my friend showing me this video when i was like 13. he was like, this is so deep. and he was totally right but its funny to me cos he would totally hate radiohead now. he doesn't like rock music at all and radiohead is way too mainstream for him. just one of those weird things. why did he love THIS radiohead song out of all the radiohead songs. he's a really cool weirdo.

and then i sang a little melody over the chords, but i added a ridiculous amount of reverb and made it a little quieter and added another layer of the same performance but an octave higher, and panned them on different sides, and then made them slightly out of sync, and now the voice sounds like a weird beautiful synth. the tone of the first half is a lot more earnestly emotional. like, actually fucking me up kind of emotional. the music really does something to me now, which is great because so far this piece has felt a bit emotionally dead to me.

the tone of the music is kind of similar to this kind of thing:

david lynch often has like,, stupid and beautiful moments in his movies. there's so much unexplainable and horrifying darkness in his movies, and then sometimes there's just these equally absurd breaks in the clouds and it's really glorious and wonderful. and the music he uses is often very churchy or gospelly or very very suspended chords turning into some gigantic resolution / cadence thing. and the tone is always lifting organ energy and raw crying with happiness.

also the music from a movie like drive or really any recent nicolas winding refn thing. only god forgives also has music like this, but i guess drive has the most tender energy out of his films. this music is from a scene that goes from extremely beautiful love to extremely fucked violence almost instantly, which isn't exactly what my film is, but it's not totally off! the contrast is just a bit less exaggerated, and the transition is less sudden.

anyway the music feels mostly done. i've added it to the half-finished film and exported it, so i'll test how it sounds in the speaker-box system. i've texted someone about buying a crappy monitor, so hopefully that'll be done soon.

the last two things to do are:

figure out the monitor

animate and add in the gifs

yippee! it's gonna be tight but i think it's possible. i also think its possible it wont work. i have a kind of solution for if i cant get the monitor to work. the animation gif things are important, but i have time to do them, it'll be ok.

[lemons-ouo]

Ten Days; Diary Entry One--New Jeans.

 I have exactly ten days away until the new school year. I am excited; even if I feel an uncertainty thrumming underneath my blood, coursing with unknown and a strange mix of excitement and apprehension. I feel happy.     

I'm just ignoring the diverse complex and rather dreadful classes I signed up for at the end of last year for this school year. Even with that, I still maintain a positive outlook.    

It's my sophomore year, and I have heard stories about how horrible and honestly, blood-curdling and mind-shattering it may as well be. But I'd much rather be optimistic than already viewing it in a negative light. Who knows what the future holds for us!   

But, in the measly ten days before school starts. I have multiple and extremely URGENT things I must take care of. That being: 

My inexcusable sleep schedule. I'm heading to bed at four and waking up at twelve. How am I supposed to suddenly wake up at six and still function as a standard human? Not as some corpse that just warbles and stumbles around. Even if I wake up at ten, it's still making me completely unfunctional, so I can't even imagine me getting up earlier than that!

My acne, this is something that every teenager has dealt with. For me, just a bit more, I struggle with severe anxiety. To the point that just watching a movie that encounters multiple stressful and unpleasant situations causes me to sit down and just rethink MY life. So, with my head currently looking like a mountain range, hopefully, I use some expensive products that won't break me out further. And, by some miracle will soothe down the fiery redness coating my blemishes. 

My unexplainable mood swings, I do understand that I am a teenage girl. And with that comes horrid and long bleak periods of harsh mood swings that cause you to scream into your pillow because your gran texted you in a tone you didn't like or one that causes you to cry over an edit of a current celebrity crush. That, truthfully you can't have. That in itself is soul-shattering, and I'd rather not think about how my love for Kit Conner will never be requited simply because he doesn't know I exist, and I think he would love to avoid a scandal. But, my emotions have been- simply to put, OUT OF WACK. It may have something to do with my sleep schedule. 

The final piece that is keeping me from achieving my mind-blowing glow-up and stability before school starts. Is my current obsession with Netflix shows. K-dramas all the way to Bojack, have taken up the majority of any void space in my head. I can no longer think, without delving into some long and extensive imaginary scene with a fake boyfriend. Who I either caught cheating or one I no longer love. I am making literal show MASTERPIECES, without any camera to film, I do suppose that everything is in my head; so there is no way of recording my epic thoughts and scripts anyways.

    With these four major-set backs, I can not focus on preparing for my school year. I am slowly overcoming each hurdle that I so carefully constructed for myself. You may call it self-sabotage, but I call it my daily life.    

Despite what may seem like a rather grim, and unhopeful perspective I disagree. I am excited; one might even go as far as to say thrilled for the new school year. I have been struggling with my friends, which everyone does, but I have no place within my friend group I created. I am nothing more than some girl standing outside staring through some filthy window at my friends talking.     

It takes a large portion of effort just for me to be perceived as normal.    

Through in-depth research and just my natural wit. I am going to make new friends. I'll cherry-pick an entirely new friend group; that I'll have authentic bonds with.    

I may live in a bizarre small town, but within this town, I'm positive there are a few people who share identical thoughts I do. And I hope to find them.    

My current best friend is not someone who I view as a genuine friend. I feel used in multiple ways, and she truly never listens to my concerns. Discarding my warnings as just 'embarrassment' or even going as far as going against what I say only to yell at me for not telling her earlier about something. I feel horrid whenever we hang out. And I do hope to find someone that makes me feel alright about myself, and not some fragile broken friend that is only perfect to explain what outfit looks good, and what the meaning of classic novels mean (Mr Darcy was the true hero of Pride and Prejudice and I stand by that completely, saying that doesn't discard any feminist emotions that I carry either).

    But with a new school year, it welcomes one thing- reinvention. I get to create an entirely new persona for me. I mean, I literally get new jeans, and that by itself is GROUNDBREAKING. 

    The mom jeans are just calling my name, I can practically hear them now. 

    I have a few tasks I must achieve before school starts, aside from the obvious. One is, I need to listen to happier music. Nine Inch Nails, Coldplay, Mitski, and Hozier are making me spiral much further. Even with me writing this, I'm currently blasting, '

O Children by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.' I'm a bit of a mess, but nothing another season of Sex Education won't fix, or Young Royals. 

    See, the Netflix addiction is getting bad.    

I need some colour in my skin, I think the only time I willingly went outside was in June. And that was over two months ago, I look like a literal ghost. My days are spent withering away in my floral duvet all while I watch another series which I'll probably forget the plot of in a few days. Getting a tan is a must, I can't go back to school looking paler than I left it.     Hygiene improvement is greatly needed, it's summer, who wants to take a shower every other day? Not me. It may make me sound like a disgusting dud but I am going to improve. Hopefully. 

    The only actually good habit I developed over the summer, all originating from a bad habit, is hydration. I have to take a piss literally every twenty minutes I swear. At least I won't die of sweating to death. Simply because whenever I cry, or excreting fluid from the axillary lymph nodes; aka sweating, I regain every water molecule I lose by chugging lukewarm water from my purple off-brand Yetti cup. I improved hydration because of many things, one being water taste best in the summer, but also because soda is disgusting, and I only like diet but even that makes me feel sick when I drink a lot of it.     This school year is going to be lovely though.

I will be Rory Gilmore, wear cute clothes, do my makeup, and get all A's (the last thing is plausible, but the clothes and make-up are maybe not). And with me comparing myself to Rory Gilmore, I'd rather not cheat on my boyfriend and be a bad friend, so, I'll only be her good bits.    

School is in ten days, and I have a lot to work to do. But I have a very tangible feeling that I will improve, I'm only a teenager once and I want to make it last. I'd like to blog throughout the school year. As a memoir of my sophomore year. 

    So, this is the start before the actual start. 

    (I can't wait for fall. And Halloween.)