#like they don’t make me want to fling myself off the tallest building i can find AT ALL

[dearabsolutelynoone]

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty-Six

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: writing this chapter was so much fun but reading it was a train wreck so you’ll just have to find out yourself whether it’s actually good or not. hurt/comfort ahead

***

Most of Nesta’s days lately are spent holed up in her basement apartment, either studying for her finals or preparing for her move—which means that whenever Cassian wants to see her, she has to haul ass all the way to the cabin to make time for him.

Like now, on the morning of her birthday, as she stands in her pajamas and slippers in the middle of Cassian’s home gym. Staring at the reason behind his urgent phone call telling her to come over.

“It’s a pole,” she says dumbly.

“Happy birthday,” he says, looking proud of himself. “Consider it an incentive to move in faster, okay?”

“It’s a pole,” she repeats. Tall and gleaming, it stands in front of the wall of mirrors away from most of the workout equipment. “You installed a pole?”

The gift itself isn’t that surprising—Cassian could afford an entire pole dancing studio if he wanted to. What surprises her is that it’s installed here, in Cassian’s personal space. The gym is to Cassian what the reading nook is to Nesta, if not even more sacred. Nesta rarely enters it, but now… he’s extending a blatant invitation into his space.

“I know you already take classes with Gwyn and Emerie,” Cassian is saying, “but you haven’t gotten to go in a while because of school and work, so I thought it would be easier for you if I brought the dance studio over here.” He scratches his head, and Nesta’s eyes drift to the silver watch on his wrist. “You never told me you used to dance. I found out from Feyre, and she sent me videos of your old ballet recitals.”

“Did she?”

Cassian nods along. “You were good. You’re still good now, which is why you should wipe that look off your face and thank me for your gift.”

Nesta is sure she looks stupefied, but she doesn’t do anything to rein it in. She has so many thoughts, and she can only think of saying, “I don’t want to practice in front of you.”

“You don’t have to,” Cassian promises. “Other than early mornings, maybe evenings, the gym will be empty for you.”

Okay. “You—” Nesta starts, “You’re really okay with this?”

Cassian’s face drops in confusion. “Okay with what?” He looks at the pole and back at Nesta. “Do you not like it?”

“Are you okay with giving me part of the gym? Where are you going to go if you want to be alone?” She chews on her lip.

Cassian laughs. “Why would I want to be alone?”

Nesta shrugs. “I need it at least once a week. I figured everyone else was the same way.” Her alone spot in the cabin is her former bedroom from the first time she lived here. Cassian knows not to enter that room, and on days when she spends time in there he simply waits until she comes out. Nesta assumed the gym was close to being something like that for Cassian.

Realization crosses Cassian’s face. “Oh, you mean like your ‘special room’?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Nesta snipes. “I told you I don’t use it for masturbating.”

He comes over and swings a heavy arm around her shoulder. “Babe, if I wanted to be alone I wouldn’t stay in the house. I’d run the trails in the woods behind the cabin.”

“Really?” Her brows furrow. She didn’t know that.

“Look, am I gonna have to return the pole or not?” Cassian says, exasperated.

Nesta stares at him closely, and upon finding no other catch to his gift, she flings her arms around his torso. “I love it,” she declares into his chest. “I love it so much.”

His body tenses in surprise at her uncharacteristic outburst, but then she feels his strong arms wrapping around her too. “In that case, have I earned myself a private show?” he teases.

“I’ll give you so many private shows,” Nesta promises. At least, once she completes her 2L and has the time to learn how to use the pole. “Emerie and Gwyn are going to be so jealous,” she hums pridefully.

Cassian chuckles deeply, and the sound rumbles through his chest where Nesta’s head rests.

They stay holding each other in silence like that for a while, mostly because it’s too early for unnecessary conversing. When Nesta finally speaks up, it’s to say, “Did you really have to call me over at eight a.m. for this, though?”

“It’s your birthday.” Cassian strokes the hair away from her neck. “Don’t even think about sleeping,” he warns. “We’re spending the whole day together. Your sisters mailed gifts, and Gwyn and Emerie are coming over at noon.”

That works for her.

***

The week after her birthday, Nesta drops her resignation letter onto Rhysand’s desk with a heavy smack.

He looks up from the envelope to her. “What’s this?”

“I’m quitting,” she announces without flourish. “Thank you for the experience. Let’s never do it again.”

“But—you got paid more than anyone else in an assistant position ever would. And you weren’t too bad at your job for a student. What went wrong?” He picks up the letter as if he can’t believe his eyes.

Nesta’s stare is a deadpan one. “Let me guess: you thought I would take your free paychecks, use my connections to move up your nepotism ladder, and end up working at Night Court comfortably for the rest of my life?”

Rhysand sits back in his chair and raises a brow at Nesta. “This is a family business,” he says smoothly. “I thought you wanted to be part of the family?”

How funny of him. “I’m good,” she answers simply.

“You came all the way here to tell me this?” Here being Velaris, which gleams through the wall of windows behind Rhysand’s desk.

“I’m not here to see you,” Nesta says, the implication being left in the air. “I’m just stopping by.” Giving a short nod, she turns on her heel to leave.

“If you ever go looking for another job,” Rhysand calls after her, “tell me if you need a recommendation. I can get you into any position at any business.”

She pauses at the door and looks over her shoulder at Rhysand. “I already have recommendations. And a job.” Her summer clerkship at the local family law firm won’t pay a third of what she made here at Night Court, but it’s good enough for now. Combined with what she’s saved up so far, she’ll get through her final year of law school without issue.

At Rhysand’s surprised face, she takes her cue to leave.

Nesta didn’t intend on going all the way to personally meet the CEO to quit, but since Cassian has been in Velaris the whole weekend for work, she thought it would be nice to surprise Cassian with a visit and cut her ties with Night Court Inc. at the same time.

Night Court’s headquarters are huge, with the skyscraper easily being one of the tallest buildings in the city. Nesta nearly gets lost trying to find her way out of Rhysand’s offices.

When she finally spots the steel doors of the elevator, they’re about to slide shut on her. “Hold the door!” she calls out, kicking into a jog. An arm pushes out at the last second to stop the doors from closing, and Nesta slides into the elevator with a sigh of relief. The doors close after her, and she turns to thank the only other person in the elevator.

The man is already looking at her in surprise—surprise which slowly turns into a shark-like smile. “Nesta?”

Nesta’s blood goes cold. He can’t be.

“Remember me?” He points at himself, still grinning. “Keith? Keith O’Connell?”

She tries to swallow but her mouth is dry. “Yeah, I remember,” she gets out.

She remembers everyone she knew from college. She especially remembers Tomas’s closest friends.

Nesta realizes Keith is saying something to her. “What floor?” he asks.

“Uh…” Where was she going again? She can’t remember. She spits out a random number and lets Keith press the button.

Nesta turns her gaze to the flashing numbers above the doors, watching them go down and down. Why are there so many damn floors?

“Didn’t think I’d see you around here,” he goes on, trying to get her to meet his eyes. “Let me guess, you’re an intern?”

Nesta keeps her eyes glued to the floor numbers. “No.”

“Ah,” he hums. “Don’t tell me you’re still chasing that lawyer dream?”

When Nesta doesn’t respond, she finds five fingers on her jaw turning her face toward Keith’s.

She jerks out of his grip, indignant rage bubbling to the surface—rage that is almost immediately suppressed by dread and fear. She’s so small right now; she can’t remember how to be big and loud.

Keith grins, taking a step closer. “What’s wrong? I just asked a question.”

Her back bumps into the wall. She barely feels it. She might as well be back in the living room of her college apartment, sitting on the arm of the couch while Tomas makes snide remarks about her to Keith O’Connell and his other friends. She’s not allowed to leave, because then she’ll be the one who can’t take a joke.

Keith frowns disappointedly at the ground, as if he found a shiny toy just to discover that it doesn’t do any tricks. Now he’s bored. “Damn,” he says. “When you’re not busy being Tom’s bitch, I guess you’re just a bitch.”

Nesta wishes she could be a bitch right now. She wishes she could fight back. “What are you doing, Keith?”

He tilts his head at her. “I’m catching up with you. You got a boyfriend?” His beady eyes slide down her form, leaving a slimy feeling in their wake.

When her lips stay pressed in a firm line, he grabs her arm and laughs. “Come on, why’re you being so weird?” He shakes her by the elbow. “I won’t tell anyone if you do have a boyfriend, promise.”

Nesta hears a ding, and the elevator doors slide open. She doesn’t know whether it’s her floor or Keith’s floor, but she doesn’t care—she’s the first to pull away from him and make an exit. “See you,” she blurts before speedwalking out of the elevator.

Why the fuck did she say “see you”? She doesn’t want to see him ever again. He doesn’t deserve to see her ever again.

Behind her, she hears Keith chuckle again. “I’ll tell Tomas you said hi,” he calls after her.

***

Cassian finds Nesta huddled under a desk.

He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him when he spotted her hurrying out of the elevator on the eighteenth floor of Night Court’s headquarters, but soon enough he realized that yes, that was Nesta’s coat and Nesta’s hair. She was supposed to be back home studying for her first two finals, but instead she was here looking like she was going to be sick.

He was about to follow her when his eyes slid to the man that had gotten off the elevator after her. He didn’t like how O’Connell was staring after Nesta.

“We’re old college friends,” O’Connell shrugged dismissively when Cassian approached him. “I was just saying hi.”

Nesta doesn’t have any friends from college.

Which leads Cassian to a dim, abandoned meeting room, one that would seem fully empty if it wasn't for the sound of strained breathing coming from under the only desk.

He approaches the desk slowly, his worn sneakers coming into Nesta’s line of sight. Pushing the rolling chair away, he crouches down to get a better look at her.

Tinny music comes out of her earbuds, loud enough to drown out any other sounds. She stares past Cassian like she can’t even see him, and the hollowed out look in her eyes terrifies him for a moment. When she blinks, tears spill over onto her cheeks.

“Nes?” Carefully, Cassian reaches out to touch one of her earbuds. After a second of hesitation, he pulls it out and lets it fall.

Nesta sniffles once, then finally turns her teary gaze to Cassian. Her eyes widen a little bit as she croaks, “How did you find me?”

“I followed you. What are you doing here, baby?”

“Um—” Her voice cracks, and she swipes away her tears with the sleeve of her coat. She clears her throat and says, “I came to surprise you.”

“And how’d you end up under here?” Cassian pulls Nesta’s hand away from her face before the scratchy wool can redden her face further. Makeup is smudged around her eyes, and he tries to soothe the sensitive skin there with his thumbs.

Nesta’s other earbud drops out of her ear while he fusses, leaving her with nothing to listen to.

Cassian is quietly, studiously tucking stray hairs back into Nesta’s bun when she confesses, “I was weak.”

“How?” Concern pinches Cassian’s brow. “By crying in front of me?”

“I was completely helpless,” she goes on, her voice numb. “And I didn’t know how not to be that way. I hated it, it’s so stupid.” She tears up again. “I’m not supposed to be that stupid.”

“Tell me what happened,” Cassian demands. He can’t pretend to be patient anymore.

Nesta presses her lips together and stares down at her shoes. Nothing Cassian can think of can prepare him for when she says, “I ran into a friend of my ex.”

So that’s who he is. A frightening calmness settles over Cassian. “O’Connell?” he asks, though he already knows.

Nesta looks up. “You know him?”

He tightens his jaw but nods. “Move over.” Ducking his head, Cassian crawls under the desk to join Nesta. He has to hunch over in half to fit, but Nesta doesn’t seem to mind.

He has to give it to her—it’s not a bad hiding spot.

“What did he say to you?” He tries to sound steady, undisturbed.

“He didn’t need to say anything,” Nesta answers. “I lost my spine with one look from him. He had me under his thumb.”

“I see.” Cassian has made peace with the fact that Tomas Mandray has long since moved away, that he’ll never be able to track the shithead down and make him suffer. What he didn’t know, however, is that Mandray left his friends behind.

“Were you hurt?” is his next question. “Did he touch you?” Cassian doesn’t know what he’ll do if Nesta says yes, but he has to ask anyway.

“I’m not hurt,” she assures him. But her hands rub over her upper arms like she can feel the ghost of a touch there.

“I see,” he repeats. He watches her for a bit longer before stating, “You’re not stupid.”

Nesta’s huff is amused. “Thank you.”

“And don’t spend too much time thinking about O’Connell,” he mutters, nudging her knee with his. “I’ll get rid of him for good.” That is a promise that Cassian is happy to keep.

Nesta looks alarmed. “Like…murder him?”

Cassian laughs. “No, not like that. But you’ll never see him again, so I hope you’ve said what you needed to say to him.”

Nesta thinks for a moment, then nods. “That sounds good. I don’t have anything to say to him.” She inhales a deep breath. “I think I feel better now.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

Cassian holds out a hand to her. “You wanna get out of here?”

She takes his hand and he helps her out from under the desk.

Nesta apparently booked a hotel room in Velaris to surprise Cassian with, but they both agree on the way to the parking lot that they’ve had enough of the city. Cassian chooses to leave his truck behind for Rhys to take care of, and he offers to drive Nesta’s car while she rests.

The ride home is long and quiet.

Nesta sits in silence with her earbuds in, her head leaning against the car window and one of her hands in Cassian’s. He drives with his free hand, sneaking glances over at her every so often just to make sure she really is okay.

It enrages him that someone from Nesta’s past found their way into her place of work. What if he and O’Connell weren’t working in Velaris this weekend, and Nesta bumped into O’Connell in the middle of town instead? It could have tainted any sense of safety she has with the small city she calls home.

Cassian has no plans on telling her that O’Connell is the team leader for the Milan project, or that he rents a small place on the outskirts of their town. Because soon enough neither of those things will be true, and there’s no use in unnecessarily worrying her.

He absentmindedly rubs his thumb over the back of Nesta’s hand.

When they finally pull up to the cabin, Nesta picks her head up from the window to look around. Spotting the other black car parked in the driveway, she makes a sound of disappointment. “Az is home.”

“We can stay in the car if you like,” Cassian offers. He’s in no rush to go inside and face other people, either.

Nesta pulls her heels off, bending over to rub her stockinged feet. “Maybe just for a little while.”

Cassian unbuckles his seatbelt, gesturing for Nesta to put her feet in his lap.

She obliges, looking too tired to refuse him. Cassian runs his hands up her legs and under her skirt, finding the waistband of her sheer black tights and tugging.

“What are you doing?” She jerks under his hands, eyes wide. “The car’s too small for this.”

He narrows his gaze at her. “Chill, horndog. I’m just making you comfortable.” He pulls the tights the rest of the way down her legs and off, freeing her skin.

Nesta gives a little sigh of relief at the feeling of air on her bare skin. She rubs her hands over her thighs in wonder, drawing Cassian’s gaze.

He meets her eyes, and she slowly curls her legs off his lap, tucking them underneath herself instead.

Elated to have Nesta’s undivided attention after two hours of silence, he leans over and slips his hand around her jaw, pulling her in for a kiss.

Her inhale is soft, surprised, before she relaxes against his mouth. Cassian kisses her once, twice, hoping it’ll remind her that she’s safe at his side. That nothing can make her weak.

He’s slow to pull away, and he opens his eyes to find that Nesta’s are still closed, her lips still parted. He stifles a smile and whispers, “I think we should head inside.”

“Mm-hm,” she nods eagerly.

They exit the car, Cassian carrying Nesta’s shoes and tights in one hand and Nesta running over to him barefoot.

He leaves little pecks along her jaw and neck as they enter the cabin, taking extra time to find any moles or beauty marks. She’s about to turn in his arms to face him when they both take notice of Azriel sitting in the living room. Cardboard boxes surround him, and he’s filling them up with books.

Cassian drops Nesta’s heels and tights onto the floor, bringing Az’s attention to him.

“Hey, bro,” Cassian says warily. “What are you doing?”

“Moving out,” Az answers.

Nesta chokes on a laugh. When no one laughs with her, her face drops. “You’re serious?”

Cassian thinks the same thing.

“I’m going back to Velaris,” Az shrugs, dropping some trinkets into a box. “I’m ready to face Elain. I’m taking accountability.” He says it like it’s the simplest decision ever, like he’s talking about bringing an umbrella to a picnic.

“Are you sure about this?” Cassian asks. Just a while ago his brother was terrified at the idea of entering a ten mile radius of Velaris.

“I’m packing, aren’t I?” Az says dryly.

“You’re packing our things,” Cassian points out.

Nesta gasps when she notices. “Hey, those are my books!” She hurries over to snatch one out of Azriel’s hand.

Azriel snatches it back with a dark look. “What goes in the box, stays in the box.”

Cassian sputters in disbelief, looking around at the scene before him. “I mean—can we ask what brought this on?”

“Maybe I did some self-reflection. Or maybe I finally got sick of you and Nesta hooking up while I’m in the same room, like you were about to do now.” Az shrugs, pulling out a roll of packing tape and tearing off a strip with his teeth. “Don’t act like you’re going to miss me,” he continues as he tapes one of the boxes shut. “You two have been waiting for this day for months, and I’m finally granting your wishes.”

Cassian and Nesta share a look, and Cassian says hesitantly, “This isn’t… a breakdown or something, right?”

Azriel narrows his hazel eyes at Cassian.

“Okay, okay.” Cassian holds his hands up in defense. He pulls his hoodie over his head and off in one swift movement and goes over to the couch to help his brother pack. He still doesn’t know what brought on this sudden change of heart, but he knows Az won’t tell unless he wants to.

Nesta remains standing where she is, confounded, before dropping down next to an open box and rifling through it. “I want compensation for anything of mine you’re taking,” she demands, pulling out various paperbacks one by one.

“So like a dime for every three trash porns,” Cassian tells Az.

“I’m upcharging,” Nesta says. Her hand stops rummaging through the box, and she pulls out a framed photo instead of a book. She turns her steely eyes to Azriel. “You can’t have this one.”

It’s a candid picture of Cassian, Nesta, and Azriel on the ski lodge trip. Cassian remembers the moment it was taken with vividness, because it was one of the rare moments on that vacation where all three of them were smiling at the same time.

“Emerie took this,” Nesta continues, “and she’s my friend, so by extent it’s mine.”

Az smiles politely at her. “You’re right, you should keep it,” he says. “You’re too ugly in that photo for me to take it.”

Nesta sneers back, but gets up to reset the photo on the fireplace mantle.

A day or two later, Cassian notices that the ski lodge picture is gone, frame and all. He sighs to himself and hopes Nesta won’t notice.

***

a/n: it’s official less than five parts left!! cassian’s revenge scene is gonna be hotter than every smut scene combined

tagging: @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook a favor: @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland @moodymelanist @pixieelea @teagoddess99

[alecmagnuslwb]

Somewhere to Stay

Read on AO3

The rain is battering down as Magnus comes to the first stoplight he’s seen in miles. His bike which has been living on fumes for nearly two states finally clunks out on him as soon as the light turns green. A sputtering and creaking noise sounds as he hits the gas and smoke billows up from the engine almost immediately shot down by the rain.

He sighs taking out his keys and pushing the bike over onto the sidewalk and out of the roadway, not that there’s any traffic anywhere in sight. Magnus is fairly certain the people in this area don’t even know what traffic is. He rolls the bike until he can set it under an awning in front of a small bookshop.

He takes off his helmet running a hand through his dark hair tipped in pink as he pulls his phone from his pocket. Mere seconds after the screen comes to life the low battery warning signals and the screen goes dark.

“Fuck,” he says looking up at his surroundings for anywhere he might be able to take shelter and charge his phone. It’s nearing two in the morning so most of the small shops on the road are closed. There’s an all-night diner lit neon across the street, a 24-hour pawn shop a few buildings down and in the distance a bright motel sign missing the letter ‘e’ shines.

The motel is his last option, he’s not one for staying anywhere longer than he has to and he’s been on the road like this long enough to know that any pawn shop that runs 24-hours is a murder mystery just waiting to happen. So, the diner it is.

He flips the collar of his leather jacket up as much as he can and takes his duffel bag off the back of his bike shouldering it before stepping out from under the awning and sprinting across the street in an attempt to stay as dry as possible.

He doesn’t bother checking as he rushes across the road, choosing to believe the one stoplight is more of a suggestion than anything else. He swings open the door of the diner and steps inside brushing his wet hair from his forehead.

The diner is fairly empty this time of the night which is to be expected. A tall Black man in a sheriff’s uniform gets up from a booth as soon as Magnus enters tipping his hat in his direction as he heads to the door.

“Be with you in a second,” a deep voice sounds out from the kitchen as Magnus moves to sit on a high seat at one end of the counter. Magnus looks around as he waits looking at his fellow middle of the night patrons. A man in a backwards cap with a guitar case leaning by his side sits in the farthest away booth more food than seems possible for one guy his size sitting in front of him and a young woman with curly hair looks half asleep sitting at the far end of the counter with a half empty pot of coffee by her side.

The walls are black and white checker tiled, an old juke box with an out of order sign takes up one entire wall and each booth is lined with pleather seating in a variety of mix matched colors.

Magnus drops his bag and smiles. He loves places like this. Little hole in the wall diners with too many neon lights and random patrons that Magnus can observe. He’s been driving around from town to town, country to country on occasion, since he was 18.

Fresh out of the foster system he just wanted to be free, free to go anywhere and do anything. So he’d taken all the money he’d squirreled away in secret since he’d landed in the states as a little boy, bought a motorcycle and packed a bag. He’s worked every odd job one can imagine and picked up some wonderful friends along the way. But nothings ever totally stuck, nothings ever been worth staying in one spot permanently for.

London was the closest he’d gotten. Camille had been a mistake and his love for Ragnor and Catarina while vast couldn’t keep him in a place that reminded him of all the shit she’d put him through.

Wherever the hell Texas this is isn’t likely to become a permanent residence, but he can appreciate the tacky ambiance of an old school diner for a while.

“Sorry about the wait,” the deep voice from before says as the doors from the kitchen swing open. Magnus turns back around from his observing and practically falls out of his swiveling seat.

The face and body that belongs to that deep voice is absently flipping through a pad of paper looking for a blank sheet unaware of Magnus’ blatant staring.

The man is gorgeous. Too tall for his own good, obviously fit body clinging to a light grey t-shirt and large hands that in under ten seconds Magnus has at least the beginning of three specific fantasies about brewing. The man looks up from the pad finally finding a blank page and pulls a pencil from behind his ear the end getting stuck briefly in his unruly dark hair.

The man pauses for a moment once he finally looks up at Magnus for just a second which gives Magnus the opportunity to spot and admire the inky black tattoo on the left side of the man’s neck. Magnus knows that looks, that first notice, that immediate burst of attraction, he’d experienced it himself not but ten seconds prior. It’s good to know the feeling is mutual.

He shakes his head gathering himself, “Sorry about the wait, what can I get you?”

Magnus smiles leaning in a bit more than necessary across the counter. “I’m afraid I haven’t actually seen a menu yet.”

“Oh,” the man says smiling a bright smile than Magnus would pay good money he doesn’t have to see again. “We don’t actually have a menu per se, we just write everything up on the board.” He gestures to wall behind him a covered with a large blackboard. The handwriting is neat, but blocky in mostly capital letters.

“We don’t get a lot of non-regulars who basically get the same thing every time, so the owner didn’t bother with menus, sorry about that,” the man continues.

Magnus waves a hand in the air, not having menus is another appreciated quirk of places like this. “Don’t worry about it, I think I’ll just start with a coffee.”

The man nods not bothering with writing it down. “Coming right up,” he says as he sticks the pencil back behind his ear.

“Thank you…” Magnus says with a bright smile leaving an open invitation for the man to give his name.

“Alec,” he says before stepping away giving Magnus one last look over. Magnus replies with his own name and Alec nods making a brief stop to tap on the shoulder of the sleeping girl at the other end of counter. She startles awake and gives Alec a salute in thanks.

Alec returns with a mug filled to the brim and sits it in front of Magnus with a small bowl of creamer.

“Where am I exactly?” Magnus asks as he opens two of the creamer packets and dumps them into the mug.

“Midnight,” Alec replies as he starts to wipe down the counter around Magnus. Magnus frowns at the response before Alec elaborates. “That’s the name of our town. One stoplight, seven shops including this diner all named Midnight fill in the blank here, about thirty permanent residents depending on the day of the week and a motel that’s not nearly as sketchy as it appears on the outside.”

“One of those shops happen to be a mechanic that either knows how to fix a bike or has the tools they’d let me borrow to do it myself?” Magnus asks taking a sip of his coffee.

Alec shakes his, “Afraid not. There’s a shop about 15 miles from here, it’s the only one in the county and it’s closed on Sundays.”

Damn, Magnus thinks as he realizes it is Sunday.

“The motels open though if you need a place to stay and I could give you a ride to the shop on Monday,” Alec says. Magnus looks up at him surprised by the kind offer. “Or not, obviously I’m a complete stranger so I get that that could sound a bit murdery.”

Magnus chuckles which stops Alec’s small panic.

“That’d be great actually,” Magnus says unexpectedly trusting this incredibly handsome stranger in a diner at two a.m.. He lingers for a bit after that making small talk with Alec about how he’s just passing through until his eyelids start to droop and he realizes just how tired he is.

He says his goodbyes thanking Alec with a sizable tip that he really can’t afford to be leaving. The rain has settled giving Magnus the easy opportunity to push his bike along the street and over to the motel just around the corner settling in for the night.

***

Magnus sleeps all through Sunday. Alec was right, though on the outside the motel looks sketchy as hell, the interior is something almost nice. He skips the diner that night after he passes by and sees a different person behind the counter and goes for the Midnight gas station picking up a few snacks to call his dinner.

Monday morning, bright eyed and maybe putting a little more effort into his outfit and makeup than he usually would to go to a mechanic Magnus waits outside leaning against the glass windows of the diner to meet Alec.

Alec pulls up in a stereotypically Texas looking truck smiling a small smile at Magnus as he steps out. It’s the first time Magnus has seen Alec in all his glory and if everything from the waist up was a vision behind the counter the long legs that stride towards him are a whole new thing. Alec helps him load the bike into the bed of the truck and they ride quietly out to the small mechanics shop.

Mornings don’t seem to be Alec’s thing judging from the one hand on the wheel and the other holding the tallest cup of coffee Magnus has ever seen. The trip to the mechanic doesn’t take long, Alec waits outside a picture of beauty leaning against his truck with his head tipped back in the morning sun. The mechanic looks over his bike and shakes his head talking as he goes over it all.

“The short of it is, the parts this thing needs it’s gonna take a few weeks at least to get everything to fix it up for you,” the old man sighs blowing out a breath that makes his mustache shift. “You shouldn’t have let it build up troubles for so long.”

Magnus knows that, but money has been tight for a while and he just figured his trusty old bike could hold out. It seems he was wrong about that.

Magnus thanks the man before he’s handed a cost estimate and flings himself into the passenger seat of Alec’s truck with a heavy sigh leaning his head back. Alec joins him sliding into his seat, his giant cup of coffee is gone now and he seems much more alert than he had on the drive to the shop.

“Everything okay?” he asks starting up the truck.

Magnus shakes his head not moving it from where he’s leaned back.  

“Looks like I let a lot of things go for too long and it’s going to take a while to fix it, and a lot more money than I have,” he grumbles looking down at the estimate sheet in his hands.

“So, you’re sticking around for a while then?” Alec says. For a second Magnus thinks he hears something that sounds like hope in his voice when he says it.

“Looks like it,” he replies tilting his head to look at Alec. He looks very pretty in profile lit up by the Texas sun.

Alec smiles a small smile just at the corner of his lips, “I might have a solution for your money problem. I know they guy who owns the bar outside just outside of town, he’s always looking for new bartenders since they’re quitting on him all the time.”

“What a resounding review of employment,” Magnus laughs.

Alec laughs in kind. “Yeah, well the Cartoon Saloon isn’t known for its high standards, but it is the only bar in about 50 miles with a decent owner and a bouncer who doesn’t let assholes in or stick around once they show their cards.”

“The cartoon saloon?” Magnus asks incredulously. “You’ve got to be shitting me, that can’t be a real name.”

Alec just chuckles, “I shit you not.”

Magnus spends the rest of the day with Alec getting a tour of the town and who’s who of their small number of residents. He learns a bit more about Alec as a person and returns with his own little bits and pieces in kind. By dinner he’s met Meliorn, the owner of the Cartoon Saloon, and secured a position at the colorful bar starting the next night.

Meliorn leaves him at the diner just as Alec’s shift begins.

“They do not seem like the type to own a bar called the Cartoon Saloon,” Magnus says after Meliorn’s left watching Alec collect the sizable tip they’d left behind.

“We like to bust the stereotypes of the small-town Texas here,” Alec says pocketing the cash.

Magnus hums in agreement.

“That’s true,” he says swaying in his seat lightly. “I mean look at you with your big Texan truck and not a hint of accent to back it up.”

“Hey now,” Alec says playfully. “It’s not about the size of the truck, it’s about what you do with it.”

Magnus snorts, an inelegant thing that makes Alec smile.

“Of course, but still you’re not from here originally I take it.”

Alec leans on the counter, Magnus the only customer.

“I’m from New York, Manhattan specifically.”

Magnus had spent some of his formative years in Brooklyn, for a moment he wonders if there’s a chance he and Alec every unknowingly crossed paths.

“How’d a Manhattan boy end up in small town Texas?”

Alec grimaces a bit and Magnus quickly continues, “Not that you have to tell me if it’s too personal I understand.”

Alec shakes his head, “It’s okay, it’s just been a while since I had anyone ask, small town and all that, the story kind of traveled fast.”

Magnus smiles making a go on gesture encouraging him to tell the story.

“The short of it is my homophobic parents didn’t take too kindly when they caught me with my boyfriend when I was 17, things got pretty bad after that. My siblings, especially my sister, tried their best to shield me from it, but I was the oldest and it wasn’t their job. So, the day I turned 18 I left no looking back, no regrets just packed up a car and drove.”

He straightens up meeting Magnus’ eyes.

“After about a month I’d sold the car and traded it in for that big Texan truck of mine and found myself at that stoplight out there,” he smiles tilting head towards the window. The single stoplight red at the moment, not a car in sight. “I don’t know why but I decided to park outside, ended up here in this diner asking about a job and before I knew it a whole year had passed and I was living in the rented space above the bookstore. A few more years and I had a house and a best friend and for the first time in a long time I felt at home.”

Alec shrugs stepping back when Maia the aforementioned best friend and coffee girl from the night Magnus had arrived comes in. Seemingly on autopilot Alec gets her a glass of ice water and a cup of coffee writing something down on a slip of paper that he sends back to the cook. She thanks him as she lugs a stack of books onto the counter.

Alec heads back towards Magnus after that.

“Do you still see your siblings?” he asks once Alec has returned to his position leaning on the counter beside him.

Alec nods smiling fondly. “My sister Izzy and my baby brother Max have visited here and there over the years. My other brother though,” Alec shakes his head a little sadly, but seemingly resigned. “Let’s just say when it comes to Jace my parents picked a favorite and eventually he went along with it.”

“I’m sorry,” Magnus says reaching out a hand and settling it on Alec’s. It’s the first time they’ve touched and it feels right. Magnus knows what it’s like to have the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally do the opposite.  

“It’s okay,” Alec says smiling a little before flipping his hand under Magnus’ squeezing once before letting go and pushing away from the counter when the cook slings Maia’s order out. “I still have two of my siblings and I found a home here, so it all worked out in the end.”

Magnus smiles a little sadly, happy that Alec found that elusive thing he’s been driving around to trying to find for years.

“Especially since he met me,” Maia chimes in from her end of the counter. She picks up her plate, leaving her books behind, and slides into the seat beside Magnus formally introducing herself. He spends the rest of the evening there chatting with the incredibly delightful woman and tries his first full meal from the Midnight diner.

***

Two weeks pass and Magnus barely even realizes it, he now fully understands how Alec ended up just staying here in this small town. What it lacks in the bustle of city life, Midnight makes up for in the goodness of its people and the charm of the quiet area that surrounds it.

In the two weeks that have passed Magnus has gotten to know this little town and appreciate all it has to offer. There’s Maia whose sharp wit could take her anywhere and yet she chooses to stay here, putting a hard worked for law degree to good use to help the local migrant workers whenever she can. There’s the local preacher, Raphael whose religious standings may not be for Magnus, but his dark humor always makes for great conversation over breakfasts at the counter.

And that doesn’t even cover the stately book shop owner, his Zen boss Meliorn who’s all but officially turned the Cartoon Saloon into a specifically themed gay bar, Simon their local musician who often works days at the diner and can pack away more food than every other resident in town combined or the grumpy motel manager that bitches about everything but also leaves an entire bowl of mints on Magnus’ pillow every night when he comes back from a shift at the bar.

And of course there’s Alec who often works the nightshift and Magnus comes to spend his evenings with after he leaves the bar until the sun rises. It’s become his new routine five days a week. Alec whose heart is even kinder than those pretty hazel eyes, who lets him use his truck to get to work and who has depth to him that seemingly has no end.

He’s learned more about Alec in two weeks than he learned about Camille in their entire relationship and in response he’s felt comfortable sharing his own story. Telling Alec things no one else has ever known about his days in foster care, his travels and everything in between. They’ve grown incredibly close in such a short time and the tension that had been there, that attraction that had been instant has only grown thicker with each passing day. It’s like both of them are waiting to see who’s willing to make the first move.

The people of Midnight just make it feel like a place you can stay and the longer he’s there he wonders if maybe he could. So, of course that’s when he gets the call that his bike is back to being rideable.

“It’s not finished, but if you wanted to move along to somewhere where the parts won’t take as long to get it’d be doable,” the mechanic says in his thick Texas drawl over the phone.

Magnus looks over at Alec who’s standing on the other side of aisle as they peruse the bookshop flipping through of all things, a book about knitting, and he thinks for a moment.

“I trust your work, if it takes a little longer, then it takes a little longer,” Magnus says with a shrug. For the second time in his life he wants to stay, wants to see how this all plays out and this time he thinks it might have a better ending.

***

“Tacky is what that is,” Magnus says as Alec tells him all about the pink porcelain bathroom his grandma had when he was growing up.

“Says the guy who works in a bar that’s walls are covered with giant cut outs of cartoon characters,” Alec huffs as he finishes cleaning out the coffee machine. It’s the dead hours at the diner, three to five there’s almost never a single patron, except Magnus who always comes in after last call at the saloon.

“I work there,” Magnus defends swinging his legs back and forth from where he sits on the counter. A thing Alec has repeatedly told him not to do, yet continues to not stop him. “That does not mean I support the décor.”

He actually loves it, not that he’s gonna admit that out loud right now.

Alec just rolls his eyes as he rounds the counter coming to sit in the chair beside the one where Magnus rests his feet.

“What did I tell you about sitting on the counter?” he says once he’s seated reaching out to tap Magnus on the thigh two times in succession with the back of his hand.

He’s been doing that a lot more lately. Touching Magnus in light brushes, standing a little closer. Magnus isn’t sure how much longer this tension between them can stand until the levee breaks.

“I do not recall,” Magnus says his voice bright and cheery, an absolute picture of innocence. He reaches out patting Alec’s cheek lightly with the palm of his hand, much like in the same manner Alec had just tapped his thigh.

Magnus starts to pull his hand back when Alec suddenly reaches up and stops him, holding Magnus’ hand in place. They stare at each other for a moment and then just as predicted the levee breaks.

Alec surges up and in a blink of an eye his lips are connecting with Magnus’. The kiss starts slow a slide of lips and tongue that catches fire quickly. Alec maneuvers them so he’s standing between Magnus’ legs never letting their lips part for long. They stay there on the counter kissing for minutes, hours, Magnus doesn’t know until they pull back to catch their breath.

Magnus keeps Alec close his hands on each side of Alec’s neck and tilts their foreheads together.

“That was,” Alec trails off eyes opening up, his pupils blown wide.

Magnus hums in agreement trailing his fingers along the lines of the tattoo on Alec’s neck. He leans in kissing Alec one more time, chaste in comparison to the previous ones. Alec smiles stepping in impossibly closer his big hands moving from Magnus’ hips to rub along his thighs before leaning back in.

***

Two days later the mechanic calls and Magnus picks up his bike. Alec worries at his lip as he watches Magnus rev the engine to life, the bike sounding better than it has in years. Magnus catches the nervousness out of the corner of his eye as he pays the mechanic.

They haven’t really talked about what happens next. It’s been two days of bliss since their first kiss in the diner the looming reality that Magnus had intention of driving out of town as soon as his bike was ready not even crossing his mind until this moment. Clearly it’s been on Alec’s mind though.

Magnus rolls his bike over to Alec’s truck.

“I’ve got a shift at the saloon tonight, then I’ll come by the diner, maybe you can by me dinner?” Magnus says as he flips the kickstand so he can lean against his bike.

Alec’s head shoots up from where he’d been kicking aimlessly at the dirt.

“You’re staying?” he says a little uncertain and a lot hopeful.

Magnus smiles reaching out a hand that Alec immediately takes. He pulls him in close so they’re chest to chest both leaning against the bike.

“I was thinking I’d stay a little longer,” Magnus says, his turn to sound a little uncertain. Alec’s responding smile is beaming.

“Maia will be thrilled, she’s tired of just talking to me and Simon all the time, you’re way more interesting,” he says leaning in for a quick kiss.

Magnus huffs, uncertainty slipping away, “Just Maia, huh?”

Alec shrugs, “Well maybe some other people too.”

Magnus just rolls his eyes, completely endeared.

***

Another two months pass in a blink of an eye. Instead of going back to his motel room most nights (or days considering their work schedules) Magnus falls into bed at Alec’s house. Their nights at the diners are now filled with sneaking kisses and more and more frequently Alec drops by the saloon on his nights off for a drink or two.

They have breakfast with Raphael every Wednesday sitting on one side of the booth together and Maia drags them out to the Saloon on Saturdays to be her wingmen as Magnus grumbles a bit about being at his place of work on his night off. He even manages to drag Alec to the dance floor a time or two after a few sweet drinks.

He gets Alec on the back of his motorcycle and it’s easily one of the top five highlights of his life so far. The sex they have afterwards, Alec hyped up on the adrenaline of being so free on the back of Magnus’ bike also finds a spot in his top five highlights as well.

He travels to the closest city to attend an art show with Maia, he finds himself looking into renting the apartment above the bookstore and is on the first name basis with everyone in town and a number of the people in neighboring towns as well.

At first they know him as Alec’s boyfriend, but soon enough they know him for him.

He finds himself building a life. He finds himself not just wanting to stay a little longer, but to stay indefinitely.

***

Alec flips the open sign in the front window off before turning to Magnus. Turning the main lights leaving them in a muted neon glow. The juke box Simon finally got around to fixing plays a soft slow song in the background.

“Huh, never had to turn that off before,” Alec says as slides into the booth beside Magnus. “It’s kinda weird.”

Midnight Diner will be closed down the next day for the “once a decade the county inspector remembers our diner exists inspection” as Alec’s boss calls it.

Alec reaches out snatching one of the fries from the plate in front of Magnus.

“Thief,” Magnus whispers with a glare. Alec just smirks. He looks gorgeous under neon lights, the purples, blues and oranges clinging to the tips of his hair and on dark eyelashes and in that moment with that playful smirk edging at his lips Magnus realizes he’s so goddamn in love with Alec.

“I am so goddamn in love with you too,” Alec says casually, easily like it’s the simplest thing in the world as he steals another fry and pops it in his mouth. It takes Magnus a second, to catch up with the fact that he’d said I love you out loud. He doesn’t regret it, it’s truer than just about anything ever has been for him, but he hadn’t meant to say it so soon.

Alec just turns gripping Magnus’ forearm that’s resting on the table and leans in for a kiss. It’s salty and Alec’s breath definitely still smells like that pitch-black coffee he drinks, but it’s just as perfect as every kiss they’ve ever shared.

They sit there for a while longer feeding each other fries and talking about the surprise trip Alec’s been planning for them that he absolutely will not give Magnus any details about no matter how much he tries to pry something out of him. Meals, sexual favors, Agatha Christie novels to add to his ever growing collection, nothing has made Alec budge.

“It’ll be nice to get out of Midnight for a while,” Alec says. “Even if you don’t know where we’re going.”

Magnus just huffs in annoyance at Alec’s stubborn secretiveness. It will be nice, he loves it in Midnight, but a weekend away will be welcome. Afterwards he’s fairly certain that coming back to Midnight will be even sweeter though. He hasn’t brought it up officially with Alec, but Magnus wants to stay. Not just in a month to month their relationship is going well sense, but permanently. Forever, if Alec will have him.

He feels at home here, not just with Alec, but with the town and everyone else inside of it. He has favorite spots and knows local stories and it just all fits so well.

The apartment above the bookshop is now occupied by Simon after Clary dumped him for the fourth time this year according to Maia, but he’s looking into other options and he wouldn’t be lying if he hasn’t considered the fact that he stays at Alec’s house at least five days a week now.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about the future,” Magnus says. Alec drops his fry stealing mission, wiping his hands off and focusing his attention solely on Magnus. He turns as much as he can to face Magnus in the booth and trails his fingers along Magnus’ forearm.

Magnus takes a deep breath gathering up the courage to say what he wants. He knows Alec, but nearly 30 years of people telling him he’s too clingy or he’s too much for too long there’s a fear of saying it out loud.

“I want to stay, indefinitely,” Magnus says eyes shining bright as he looks at Alec. “Forever actually, if you’ll have me.”

Alec looks stunned and even though it’s probably not even a full second of quiet it’s enough for Magnus to think he needs to backtrack.

"Sorry that's too much. I'm too much," Magnus says making to pull away. But Alec's grip on his arm doesn't lessen and he's pulled right along with him. Magnus can't meet his eyes though, can't see whatever agreement or consideration is resting in them. It's quiet the buzzing sounds of the neon lights the only thing filling the space when finally after seconds that feel like hours Alec's hand lets go.

 This is it. Magnus thinks. Too much. He’s heard so many of his stories, even taken the whole Camille debacle in stride and accepted all of Magnus’ eccentricities, but this admittance just two months into their relationship is just too much too soon.

 But instead of the inevitable pull away Alec's fingers return to delicately trace up along his forearm where he'd just been gripping tight to keep Magnus from running. He trails them up along Magnus' bicep and across his shoulders till he reaches the sensitive lines of his neck and moves upward. Magnus lets out a stuttering breath at the reverent touch still unwilling to look Alec's way. 

 The fingers pause at the juncture of his jaw briefly tracing the sharp edge until Alec's large hand slides along his cheek fully cupping it softly and gently urging Magnus to turn his head and meet his eyes. 

 It takes another moment of coaxing, of Alec's thumb rubbing softly under his bottom lip before returning to rest alongside his other fingers but eventually Magnus does finally turn locking out to those hazel eyes filled not with agreement to Magnus' statement or fear or anything of the like. It's a look Magnus has never really seen directed at him before. It's love. It's adoration. It's worship. It's a heady thing that Magnus knows he'd be trying his damndest to send right back Alec's way if his own eyes weren't no doubt swimming with worry.

 "Too much of you is never enough," Alec says into the now nonexistent space between them, finally speaking once he feels that look in his eyes has been interpreted correctly.

 Magnus breathes out a sigh of relief, his eyes clearing of worry and finally he's able to send the love, adoration and worship right back. 

 He doesn't know what to say but he hopes a kiss will say it all. It’s a quick chaste thing, but he puts all the feeling he can into it.

 “I wasn’t sure, I know you never planned on staying and when you did I just wasn’t sure how long and I didn’t want to pressure you into staying in this small middle of nowhere town just for me,” Alec admits quietly.

 “You are a big part of the reason I want to stay; I won’t act like that’s not true. When I first had the option to go and get my bike fixed faster you were the sole reason I stayed, but the more time I spend here the more at home I feel with you, but also with this town. A small town in the middle of Texas with one stoplight is never where I thought I’d end up, but now it’s the only place I want to be.”

 “It’s the only place I want to be to, with you,” Alec says his eyes looking a little wet. “Forever.”

 Alec pulls Magnus in close hugging. The angle is awkward and both their knees manage to hit the table but Alec’s arms are strong and warm and permanent.

 This is home now, this diner, this town, this man.

 ***

Three Months Later

“Love, do you still have that Space Jam t-shirt?” Magnus asks as he flips through their shared closet. It’s Looney Tunes night at the saloon, Meliorn’s idea of a joke saying they need to live up to their name on occasion and Magnus’ wardrobe doesn’t exactly feature a lot of Bugs Bunny to participate in the dress code.

He does however recall spotting a black shirt with a small space jam symbol on the pocket floating around in Alec’s stuff when Magnus had officially moved out of the motel and into the house.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll get it for you,” Alec says standing up from where he’d been lacing up his boots leaving the right one untied, chest still bare.

“I got it,” Magnus says waving him off. “Bottom drawer right?”

Magnus bends down to open the drawer and sees the t-shirt right at the top, but before he can reach for it Alec trips his way over his untied shoelace to the chest of drawers and slams the drawer shut.

“No I got it,” he says clearly aiming to sound casual, but missing it by a mile wide.

Magnus looks at him, eyebrow raised. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m not being weird,” Alec scoffs hand still splayed out against the drawer keeping Magnus from even trying to open it back up.

“Whatever the hell that was just now says otherwise.”

“I’m just being a helpful boyfriend, getting that shirt for you,” Alec smiles a clear attempt to dodge whatever this is.

“Being helpful by nearly falling on your face to close the drawer shut where I’d already found what I was looking for and not letting me open it back up?” Magnus asks still eyeing his boyfriend quizzically.

“Yup,” Alec says popping the ‘p’. “So, you just go have a seat and I’ll get that for you.”

Magnus stands to his full height, Alec following but replacing his hand that was holding the drawer shut with his foot.

“Okay, yeah no, you’re being incredibly weird so I’m going to get the shirt so I can stop wondering if you’re storing a human hand under there or something with how spazzy you’re being.”

Magnus leans back down quick and Alec attempts to follow, but his untied lace gets caught on the drawer handle sending him to the ground flat on his ass. He scrambles to stop Magnus, but it’s too late he’s already picked up the shirt.

“I don’t see why you’re being so,” Magnus freezes looking at the space under the shirt. Alec’s hand falls onto the edge of the drawer clearly not seeing a point in trying to shut it anymore. Because there under the shirt that Alec never seems to wear is a small velvet box, just the right size for only one thing.

“Oh,” Magnus says in realization. “So, that’s why you didn’t want me to get the shirt.”

Alec snorts, “Yeah, no human hand or anything.”

Moments of quiet pass in their bedroom until suddenly Alec is clearing his throat to get his attention. Magnus looks at him eyes finally tearing away from the box and all the implications it holds.

“Go ahead,” Alec gestures pulling his leg up and finally tying his right shoe.

Magnus shakes his head, he desperately wants to look, but clearly Alec had some sort of plan.

“No, it’s fine, it can wait for whatever you were planning to do with it, I can just act like I saw nothing.”

Alec gives him a disbelieving look.

“Okay, I can try and act like I saw nothing.”

Alec laughs at that lifting himself up onto his knees and grabbing the box from its resting space.

“I’d rather do this now, than have you fake surprise over some romantic dinner or something,” he says flipping open the box. Nestled inside the smooth fabric is a silver ring, simple except for the thin line of black and white diamonds running through the center. “Fair warning, Greta at the pawn shop told me that only one of these diamonds is real and I get to guess which one it is.”

Magnus chuckles at that shifting onto his knees mirroring Alec.

“I was going to ask you in Austin,” Alec continues and Magnus’ breath catches. Austin had been two months ago, a spur of the moment trip just days after Magnus had moved in to support a gig Simon had.  Arguably by the standards of most it would have been too soon, but they’ve moved at lightning speed, brick on the gas since the day Magnus admitted he wanted to stay here with Alec forever. Any modern-day idea of perfect relationship timing be damned. “But then I chickened out cause I worried it was too soon after we’d just moved in together, so I’d been planning and coming up with ideas with Maia’s help for weeks so of course the one time you want to borrow one of my shirts instead of the other way around it’s this shirt.”

Magnus just shrugs an innocent smile on his face.

“So, say goodbye to rose petal dinners, instead you’re getting half-dressed on the bedroom floor.”

“I like it when we’re half-dressed on the bedroom floor so you won’t hear me complaining,” Magnus says cheekily.

“Magnus Bane,” Alec says rolling his eyes a teasing reprimand in his voice that he drops with his next words. “Will you marry me?”

Magnus scoots forward draping his arms over Alec’s bare shoulders.

“Alexander Lightwood, I absolutely will marry you.” Alec smiles bright pulling Magnus in by the waist with the hand not holding the ring kissing his fiancé with all that he has.

Eventually somewhere along the line the ring ends up on his finger somehow and they finally pull back for air.

“That’s gonna be Alexander Bane soon enough,” Alec says slightly out of breath.

Magnus leans back, a little shocked. Bane had been a name he’d chosen once he was free of the foster system and here Alec was choosing it just the same.

“You want to take my last name?”

Alec just shrugs, like it’s no big deal, even though Magnus knows he knows it’s a big deal.

“The Lightwood name lost it’s meaning for me the day my parents decided I wasn’t worth their time, so yeah, if it’s okay with you I want to take your last name.”

Magnus smiles eyes suddenly feeling a little wet, “Of course it’s okay with me.”

He pulls Alec in hugging him tight, the ring looking just perfect on his finger as he runs his hand through Alec’s hair.

“We should see if Raphael is free right now,” Magnus says mumbling it into the curve of Alec’s neck where he’s resting. Alec pulls back.

“Wait do you mean-“

“Sure, I mean we both don’t have to be at work for,” Magnus pauses looking at the alarm clock on his side of the bed briefly. “Another three hours, Maia’s a lawyer so I’m sure she can whip us up a marriage license in no time. So why not?”

“Not that I don’t love the idea of marrying you on a whim before dinner, but neither of us are fully dressed and I thought maybe you’d want Ragnor and Cat to be here, and you know Iz and Max.”

“Oh, right, them,” Magnus says feeling a little embarrassed he’d been so caught up in the euphoria of shirtless Alec proposing that he’d forgotten their family who don’t live within their little six block radius.

“Maybe next week then,” Magnus shrugs and Alec laughs which is quickly cut off in favor of more kissing.

A week later somehow impossibly with Ragnor, Cat, Max, and Izzy in the front row Maia hands them a marriage license she obtained “mostly legally” and with Raphael proceeding they exchange vows and rings with only one real diamond between them in front of a small cluster of the town’s residents.

When they kiss after saying I do it feels like the beginning of everything, like all his years of feeling lonely and out of place; of traveling with no real end in sight have led him here to this man, to this town.

He’s never stayed in one place for long, but now here in this tiny Texas town, he’s finally home.

[starshineandbooks]

A weird reveal

Warnings: ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. Drinking mentioned/ hinted at, Marinette is in a REALLY BAD HEADSPACE, please, please, please take care of yourself. I wrote this while upset, I in now way am attempting to glorify self harm or suicide.

Summary:  Marinette is rejected by Adrien because of her alter ego. She has had a hard time adjusting and gets drunk one night at a party, she jumps, cat noir saves her, identity revealed.

Word count: 1457

Pairings: Marichat, adrinette,        Ao3

The memory plays in her mind again, the creases of his shirt the fall of his hair, the dull of his eyes, the heart break in his voice, and the tears streaming down her face not his.  She had made some bad decisions to put her at the ledge of the tallest sky scraper in Paris. She had gotten drunk at a party that night earlier, and it's been a month since the day she was rejected. She just can't get that day out of her head, his sad smile, the tilt of his head, and the hug she denied herself.

 Unbeknownst to her, he loved her like she did him. He just loved someone else more.

 She comes back to reality and laughs, she doesn't know why she laughs, which makes her laugh harder. She doesn't see or hear him approach. He slaps a hand over his mouth to stop from loudly sobbing. He doesn't want to see her go.

 "Marrinette, no!" He shouts, as tears slipped down his cheeks.

  She is to far gone to here him. She just wants say goodbye to the one that hurt her, him.

 "Good by Adrien. Sorry I bothered you with my presence." She mumbles as she steps off the ledge, falling as she let's herself, Marrinette fall to her death.

  He, no Adrien makes a decision quickly and acts fast she halfway down. "Plagg, claws out, Fast!"

   He transform and jumps down using the stick to get down faster, he puts his arms out.

 Tikki can't stand idly by, she tries to talk Marrinette out of it.

   "Marrinette, please this isn't the answer, it's not to late." She please with Marinette,  Chat closes his eyes and braces for the impact.

 Marrinette once again is too far gone, and drunk to hear reason. She let's the tears stream as she braces herself for impact. A small part of her wants to stop, to live, knows this is foolish, she doesn't care right now. A new memory surfaces for her. A male screams no before her name, and a flash of Adrien is there before she stepped off. She realizes he tried to stop her.

  But it's too late to save me, Marrinette thinks.

 There is an impact but not the one she wanted. Chat however feels the same impact and is slightly less stressed, she'll live through the night. Marrinette looks up at chat and in her drunken state is a little slow to put it together. She was alone, unless the last memory was real then Adrien was the only other one there. And she doubted even in her hazed Adrien would jump.

  Chat can see in her eyes she's not in her usual set of mind. He can see Marrinette from freshmen year, as apposed to what should be senior year Marrinette. She looked so fragile and like she was broken, he knew better. She would usually keep fighting as long  as she and the drive.

 "What were you thinking?!!?Why would you fling yourself off the tallest building in Paris?!" He demands, as he hugs her closer one hand in her hair.

 Marrinette looks up confused."Adrien?"

 Chat pauses. " Really?! You almost died and you just say real name?!! That's I!!" He says voice near breaking, he can't take her carelessness along with her curiosity.

   "Adrien. Wait. What?" She inquires from his arms.

 She is thrown back into a few sour memories. Chat, no she's sorry Adrien, she rejected him so many times. So many times was she oblivious how did she not know? Does he know who she is? Why does Chat, sorry Adrien look so worried?

  Marrinette blanks out as he pulls her closer and rubs her back with the one hand and holds her with the other. He presses his cheeck to hers as he let's the tears fall.

       " How many times?" She whispers.

  "What?! We need to have a real conversation here Mari! What in the heavens made you think; I know! Let's fling ourselves off of a really tall building! No the tallest building in Paris besides the Tower! Yeah that's what I'll do today!" He starts to shout at her, overrun by emotions.

   "Why are you so loud?" She quips.

  "Oh my God Marrinette! Do you even care that you just almost died?!!" He pulls her off him and where he can level a glare at her, still holding her though.

  He never wants to let her go. Not if she will do this again. He doesn't want her to hurt.

 His thoughts are interrupted. " Adrien, I really don't get how you kept going."

  "Are we even having the same conversation?!!" Chat, no Adrien demands.

 No. We're not.

 "Maybe? I'm so sorry Adrien. I can't count how many times I rejected you. Funny right?" She bursts out like she had to say that or she would die.

 "Mari, you're not making in sense! What are you talking about?!! You never rejected m- are you saying what I think?!? " He pauses for a moment to compose himself.  " If you're really Ladybug you should never jump off a building in civilian form! I can't do this alone. I swear Mari, if you ever do this again I will kill you again! And then bring you back a third time to kill you then bring you back a fourth to make you deal with life!"

"Adrein, you are so loud." She says, still not getting the situation.

  Marrinette looks up and sees so many similarities, Adrien sure he's blonde and green-eyed like Chat. But the real similarities the subtle ones, the way that their cheeks rise when the smile, the dorky puns they make. The way tears stream their face. Even the way that the eyes they have dull. She looks up and sees for the first time actually sees Chat's tears, sees the way he looks more disheveled then usual. Sees the tears stains down his face, hears his slightly shallow breaths. She feels the way he rubs her back. Hears the crickets in the back round. Feels her heart, it's like a jack hammer.

 "Really though Marrinette, what we're you thinking?" He questions her.

  It comes together once again and it sticks for her."What... What have I done? What did I do? Oh I'm so dumb..." She starts to beat herself up about not seeing it, about rejecting Adrien. Then another thought occours. She kissed Chat, so she kissed Adrien?!

 Adrien starts to realize, this is his fault. He doesn't see reason, just how it could be his fault. If he had seen the similarities and put it together sooner she wouldn't have jumped. He sees Marinette as strong. Lady bug as courageous. And both as amazing, and so much more. He was the reason someone so close to him would do this.

 Marrinette realizes Chat is crying, really and truly crying. She was so caught up in being negative she forgot about Chat. Her partner and closest friend, what was she thinking? She could have done something stupid. Wait, she realizes what she's done. She tried to commit suicide, what was she thinking? Is in her head. Her mind goes through the events again, the tickle of the wind, the scream as she plummets, the way she saw the asphalt and how she almost ended it all over a boy. She feels foolish, she almost let hawkmoth have Paris, all for a boy. She almost let her partner down for a boy.

 He pulls her closer again, and puts her on his lap after sitting down, he puts a hand on both cheeks. What if he had lost her? " I'm so sorry, this is my fault isn't it?"

 "Adrien, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was weak. Chat, I'm sorry I was stupid for a boy. I can't believe myself. And how could it possibly be your fault? I was weak. Did you push me? No. No you didn't. So it's not your fault." Marrinette says as she wraps her arms around his neck.

  She feels a lot lighter now. " But, I cant help but feel it is." Chat butts in.

 "It's not. I'm so sorry. Thank you for stopping me Chat." Marrinette says as she curls up back to his chest.

  "But,... Okay, as long as you don't have to stop you again, we'll be fine. You and I are going to talk about this later. But you are off and it's late. Let's go princess." He stands to take her home.

  She feels her heart which was slower speed up again at the nickname. She would have to explain herself later. But that's okay, she can. She was saved and she learned that alcohol is a bad plan.

[toxic-gorgon]

Punishment: Yomi x Reader

Out of everything I’ve written, this one is the most character and lore driven. It’s one of my favorites. 

The border between human world and demon world was a tad intimidating, would be an understatement, a barrier that only those sensitive to otherworldly beings, but the energy emitting from it was incredibly thick. Taking a step back, your heart pounds at the sheer size, and the possibility of what could be on the other side.

“I don’t know about this. Aria, are you sure?” you shakily spoke, gulping down your anxiety. She scoffs, pointing toward demon world.

“Aren’t you curious, Y/N? Traveling to a far off place, somewhere our kind’s been too scared to tread! We can be explorers or something!” she exclaimed. “Imagine, being the first vampires to be brave enough to cross the barrier.” The dark haired girl, who looked no older than a teen, placed her hands on her hips.

“I must admit, humans do get boring once in a while. No challenge and their blood is so mundane anymore. I suppose something new couldn’t hurt, but we should be careful.” you speculated. “What if the council finds out? We’ll surely be in a lot of trouble.” Aria shook her head.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like we’re exactly perfectly behaved anyway.” she paused, grinning. “Remember when we used a cardboard cutout of a “vampire hunter”, so we can sneak out” You smiled at the fond memory “I can’t believe we got off with a slap of the wrist.” The back of your mind held every danger the elders warned you about, as they came flashing through your mind.

“We made it this far, I think that’s a win?” you reasoned with her, or rather attempt to. Gripping your wrist, Aria’s crystal blue eyes turned a dangerous red accent, boring into yours, pleading. Alarming, you’ve never seen her this way before.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of!” she growled. “Don’t chicken out now, please?” she begs, and like a sentimental idiot, your eyes soften, giving her a nod, you couldn’t let her go alone. If something were to happen, you couldn’t forgive yourself. Squealing excitedly, Aria hurriedly hugs you. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Fine, but don’t pull that crap on me again, ok? Let’s get this over with. The sooner we enter, the sooner we can go back home.” you groan, following your best friend through the forbidden boarder.

Demon world wasn’t quite what you would expect. You knew there would be some weird shit, but flying eyeballs and slime critters were just the tip of the iceberg. Uneasyness easily suffocated the air, but Aria seemed determined as ever. She drags you down the city streets, which were probably the most human thing you’ve noticed. Tall buildings like home, you sighed with some familiarity was nice, but one alarmingly large red flag appeared.

“Are we ready to go now? This place is giving me the creeps.” you whispered, placing a hand on Aria’s shoulder, forcing her to stop.

“But Y/N, we can’t! We just got here.” she whines, pouting. You shook your head, turning around.

“We need to leave, I can’t stand this anymore. I mean look, we’re the only people here. Don’t you find that odd?” your reason with her. She rolls her eyes, moving forward.

“Stop your complaining! We’re fine. Look!” she throws her arms in the air, yelling out. “See? Nothing, so stop being a whine ass.” Your eyes darted to the side when a shadow suddenly moved. Your heart pounds in your throat, the hairs in the back of your neck stood upright.

Gulping, you whispered calmly, yet shaky “Aria, we have to leave. I-I ju-just saw s-something. Turn around slowly and let’s go.” She glares over her shoulder, clear annoyance sprawled onto her features.

“Y/N, will you shu-“ From the shadows, jumped burly, monstrous creatures, adorned with armor, reprehending you and Aria effortlessly, keeping an iron grip onto your brittle wrists. “Let go!” Aria yells, thrashing about. You whimper, your fruitless efforts to be released all for not.

“Oi boys, what do we have here? Trespassers on Yomi-sama’s territory. Where you ladies might be from?” The tallest one snorts with his pig snout, looking you and Aria down. Aria scoffs, refusing to back down.

“Human world, now put me down you muscle bound bastard! Or I’ll drain your blood!” shit, her threats were going to get you killed! Guffawing, the ring leader (what you thought was their superior, given he was the tallest) gestures for the men to bring you in.

“Vampires eh? Female ones.” he pauses, whistling. “Pricy on the slave market. Looks like we hit the jackpot boys.”

One excruciatingly long month went by, and you were the only left. Aria long since been dragged off to god knows where, probably sold like the demons claimed was going to happen. Every day, you watched as the cell’s warden trotted around, taunting you with freedom. The ugly, wart infested fucker, you wanted to tear his throat out. A personal promise you made, once you had the chance.

“Oi, vampire skank!” The warden’s voice boomed, his clammy hand slamming against the bars, startling you. Snickering, he twirls his keys around his finger. “Getting lonely in there?” he questions, licking his massive toad lips with a bumpy tongue. Cringing, he did this to you everyday. It was like a game, he made a pass, and you snark back. This world was what the elders warned you about and more.

Not a day went by when you regretted not listening to them, but now you pay the price. You couldn’t stand it here much longer, either you were going to get killed, kill yourself, or by the slim chance, escape. Survival of the fittest was an understatement, but fuck, what were you willing to sacrifice for it? It killed you every time, the thought of that vile creature touch you. Today, you noticed scarce amounts of guards. Conflict with other territories, perhaps? Quite unusual, since such a place is always flooding with enforcements. Was this a sign?

Mustering the courage, you stood up abruptly, pushing disgust aside, all sake for the performance. Turning around and giving the grotesque creature a flirty smile, your slender fingers trace the cold bars. “The nights get unbearably cold.” you drawled. “Since my friend left, I’ve been keeping myself warm.” You hated every single word that passed through your lips. Vampire charm or not, the warden fumbles with his keys, a lusty blush dusted what you assumed were his cheeks. Pathetic.

Giggling, he flings open the cell door, his grubby hands reaching out for you like the fucking lecher he was. You only had a small window to make use of. Baring your fangs, you launch yourself at the toad, tearing through his jugular, using your nails to hang on. He drops to the ground, struggling to push you off, gurgling for his life. With his throat gashed, he convulsed dead within seconds, leaving you draining his blood. His blood was a five star meal compared to what you’ve had in the last month. However, now wasn’t the time to enjoy a full meal. You drank enough to gain your energy back, and ran out the metal, dungeon door.

Slipping behind a wall, you silently caught your breath, watching as two guards ran past you, cursing your escape. Scoffing, you wiped your warden’s blood off your stained lips, turning lightly to keep moving. Staying still for too long, they were bound to find you. When you were sure your breathing was under control, you tiptoed away from your position. Fuck, now what do I do?

You crept by yet another wall, glancing from behind it. An unguarded, large metal door could be the way out. Hell, she didn’t know where she was, but a door is a door, so, she took the plunge and rushed toward it. Your hand shakily grasps the knob, turning slowly, careful not to make any noise. Your breath hitched in your throat, while you opened it to reveal…

Gasping, the door suddenly slammed shut, and your back slams against the cold wall. Looking up with widened eyes, your mouth hung agape as a much taller frame held you in place with your neck, giving it an authoritive squeeze. Taking a deep breath, you stayed calm, regardless of your scarce air supply. The man, from what you can tell, smirked, as his eyes stayed closed, and his eerily calm aura easily overtook your shaken form.

“So, you’re the vampire causing such a fuss. How bothersome.” he observed, squeezing harder. Struggling to breath, your e/c turned a hint of red accent, as your long nails raked along his arm, in a desperate plea for release. “Your people are known for their tenacity, I’m almost curious to see for myself.” Growling, your legs start thrashing. He wanted to see tenacity, he’ll see it.

“Let me go, you demon scum!” you choked out, balling your right hand into a fist, and slam it against his arm. Chuckling, the demon male continued to watch your struggle, but found himself getting bored quickly. He releases you, tossing you to the ground next to him. Struggling to raise yourself up, you coughed, sucking in all the air you could for your shriveled lungs. Hatred clouding your eyes, as you shot up, weak from lack of sustenance, but more stubborn than ever. “I’ll kill you and get out of here.”

The demon doesn’t budge. Instead, he boisterously laughs, as if you were a comedian. “Really now? I’m intrigued, you’re confident in your abilities to take down a king, little one?” You purse your lips, speechless. Fucking king Yomi blocked your path, of all the rotten luck. One bad decision after another, cursing your now presumed dead friend dragging you into this. You’d nearly flat out regret your whole relationship with Aria, but there’s no use placing blame.

“King or not, I’ll drain your blood!” you snarl, launching yourself toward the man, fangs out and ready to maim. Effortlessly, the king moved slightly to the side, catching your arm, and brings you close to him. His free, rough hand traced your cheek, humming in approval. A Wild flush cascade your face, as you squirmed against his chest.

“Not bad, almost pleasing if you weren’t kin to humans.” he taunted, gripping your arm hard enough to leave bruises. You slap him with your free hand, snarling. How dare he! The king’s smirk falters to a frown, his amusement over. “Troublesome woman, you should learn your place. “ he snapped, as his smirk tugged his lips once again with a tantalizing thought. “Perhaps I should train you. Who better than a king to make example of obedience to such defiance.”

Groaning, your eyes flutter open, stinging from the light. Fuck, I must’ve passed out. Pulling on your heavy, metal restraints, you sighed with no avail. Shit, I’m stuck here too. After a few minutes, your eyes got use to the light, and quickly you took in the sight. Another fucking dungeon, but not one you’ve been living in for the past month. No, this one was much different. Strange contraptions, restraints, whips, and other questionable instruments lined the area.

“Ah, you’re awake. I hope you got enough rest.” Fake concern from a man’s voice you recognized all too well now. The so called king of Gandara. “You’ll need it for what I have in store for you. Whatever it takes, you’ll be punished thoroughly.” he drawled, now coming into view. Snarling, you turned your head, refusing to meet his features. Grinning, he steps forward, gripping your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Come now. I promise if you behave and receive your punishment like a good slave, you’ll go back to your cell peacefully.”

Frowning, you didn’t give him the satisfaction of a rebuttal, your e/c orbs stared him down. Hissing, you spat in his face. “Like hell I will! I refuse to be bought and sold like a common object!” Without a word, he slaps you across your face, leering down at your pathetic form.

“Have it your way, I like a challenge.” he mocked. Trailing calloused fingers along your bare thighs, he licks from your neck, down to your chest, not surprising it took you this long to realize you’re nude. Shivering, from a mix of cool air and intimate attention, your blush reared its ugly head once more.

“Y-Your big plan to discipline me is this? Forgive me if I’m not colored impressed.” you stutter, hiding your discomfort. Yomi cracks a smile, his hand reaching your core. Nervously, your eyes watched his every move, as you bit your lip when the king sucks your right nip roughly, while his free hand pinches and twists the other. Slowly he enters two fingers into your depths, his smirk widening.

“Oh? What’s this? Tell me, you’re a virgin, am I correct?” he questioned. His speculation was confirmed when you refused to answer him, embarrassedly shifting your gaze to something else. “I see.” he pauses to work your walls, stretching you out. “How rare, a virgin vampire wandering into my territory. I’m conflicted. Should I sell you now, which means you’ll be worth far more than the standard female vampire, or should I keep you for myself, until I get bored that is.”

Whimpering, you lost it when he jams his thumb against your clit, abusing it roughly. He returns to your breasts, as if deep in thought. Dammit, I can’t hold back! A scratchy moan flowed past your lips, as you closed your eyes, and tilted your head back. Lifting his head back up to your neck, he bites, drawing blood, and sucks the wound.

“Enjoying yourself? Don’t get too comfortable, we’ve only begun.” his sultry voice only added to the fire between your legs. Slipping his soaked fingers out, Yomi expertly removes his top, revealing a fine, almost marble-like chiseled chest. You didn’t even try to hide the fact you were staring. If you were anymore mystified, you would be drooling (which was tempting), sadly the demon took notice. “Hmmm? You’re so quiet.” he chuckles. “Don’t tell me I make you speechless.”

Rolling your eyes, you struggle to shoot an insult back, proving more difficult when his hands lay on his belt, pulling it loose, and no matter what, your eyes couldn’t look away. Fuck! Anger welled up in you, not so much with the situation, but mostly at yourself. You’re allowing the laws of attraction get the better of you, and your desires were winning the battle against your willpower.

Pushing down his trousers enough to spring free his hard cock, Yomi stepped closer, rubbing his hands between your thighs, bending down to give your engorged clit a quick lick. Your face contorts into painful, conflicted pleasure. You want to let go, but you can’t lose your sanity, not yet. Grinning, he lines his cock up with your pussy, wrapping a strong arm behind your waist, and pushing himself in down to the base, and thrusting hard without allowing you time to adjust.

Your body jerks in jolting pain, your cries growing louder with each thrust. “S-Slow down! Dammit, it hurts!” Yomi shuts you up with a hard kiss, his nails digging into the back of your restrained thighs. Grunting, he was having a wonderful time at your expense, while your poor pussy throbs from the painful tearing of your hymen. Your limbs lay limp, while he pounds into you relentlessly, waiting until he’s had his fill. No use struggling anymore. Instead, you bit his bottom lip hard, in faint protest.

Smirking, Yomi ignores the pain, and panted as his throbbing cock was growing closer to release. “You’re so tight.” he takes a deep breath. “I’ll shape you to only fit me.” You gasp, as his movements became sloppy, yet determined, and finally with a few more thrusts, he came. Wincing in pain and disgust, you refused to let your tears fall, so you blank them away.

Moments of silenced past, while Yomi regained himself. “Are you satisfied now?” you sneer, while he pulls out of you with a heavy sigh. Slapping your thigh, the demon walks over to a table with an assortment of tools, each more intimidating than the last. Whips, paddles, floggers, unlit candles, crops, everything one could want in a personal, kinky candy store.

“I told you, we we’re just beginning.” he trails off, lifting a bottle without a lable from the table, and turning toward you. You trembled at thought of it being poison, or some sort of flesh eating acid. Shaking his head, Yomi placed his palm on your cheek, a hallow attempt to calm you. “It won’t hurt you, I promise. A close friend of mine made this serum from the rarest plant in demon world. It’s been a long time since I used it, but this is a special occasion.” his voice lingers, while he tips the bottle and pored thick, lucid liquid onto his fingertips, strong floral aroma filling your senses, almost pulling you into a drunken state.

So incredibly strong, your heart thumps with excitement? The hell is this? The floral buzz clouding your head, slowing down your rational thinking. Without hesitation, Yomi kisses you again, his glazed fingers prodding into your freshly fucked depths, rubbing along the walls, and slowly slipping out, only to rub your swollen clit. You hated yourself for giving in, as you lost yourself in the kiss.

“You should be feeling it soon.” he whispers, drawing himself back. Panting, your eyes widen, and as promised, you felt heat rise almost instantly. Potent shit indeed, your throbbing cunt was testament to that. Whimpering, your legs pull their restraints in a pathetic attempt to cross them. A desperate, withering mess you became, waiting to be filled.

Pleased with the results, the king releases your shackles, allowing you to land on your wobbly legs. His strong grip held your hair, tilting your head up to look at him. “Your training begins now.” his perverse intentions echoed, yet fell upon deaf ears, as you made no incline to object.

Hours, or was it days that passed? Your hazy thoughts lost count. Sitting on a metal Spanish horse device with your wrists tied to the ceiling, you panted heavily around a ball gag, your captor was so eager to put on you to stop chanting insults. He switches the vibrations too low for your taste, watching from an ornate throne in front of you, propping his chin up with his elbow on the armrest. Your hips rolled between your over stimulated clit and plugged ass, close, but never pushed over that delicious edge.

The sadistic king watched with pure amusement, your whines of anguish music to his six ears. “Ready to be obedient?” he taunts, while your self-pride dwindles down to a trickle with every slow pulse. Keeping your eyes locked on his admiringly handsome features, you struggled to keep that last thread of sanity, but fuck, that serum was impossible. Deciding your silence was yet another form of defiance, Yomi kicked it up a notch, switching the horse to its highest, brutal setting.

Throwing your head back, your muffled moans became much louder. You arched your back, jerking the chains around your wrist and chain between your pert, clamped nipples. Your wiggling hips bucked against anything that could finish the job. Sweat beads dripped from your brow, your chest heaved, so damn close. Yomi turns the dial again, bringing it back down to the lowest setting. Growling, your eyes shot open, revealing red hued slits.

The king stood from his throne, and sauntered over to you, and removed your gag. “The fuck you do that for? I was close!” you yell, saliva dripping from the side of your mouth. Snorting, Yomi yanked your nipple chain hard, stretching your nipples toward him, in a pleasurably painful gesture.

“Did you forget our talk? A slave is never in any position to make demands.” he lectures, yet again. Drawing back, you bit your lip, holding in your complaints. A pleasing smile makes its way onto the king’s face, as he releases your chain. “Better, but you still have a long way to go.” he critiqued, turning off the horse, and undoing your bounds. “I suppose a reward is in order.” You stare blankly, still shook with desire to speak. Yomi helps you up, and for the first time since you met, gave you a genuine smile. “Don’t give me such a surprised look. I’m not an unreasonable man.” his gentle words mixed with an underlying danger, something you’ve grown to enjoy.

Picking you up over his shoulder, he strolls toward yet another device, this time a leather padded bench, supported by four, strong legs. He sets you onto your feet and immediately you eyed the strange contraption. Five plateaus, each adorned with leather straps, while the larger, middle plateau was up higher then the others. Gulping, who knows what your ‘reward’ will be. Glancing up questionably at him, he pats your head in reassurance.

“You’ll like it, I promise. But first-“ You dropped to your knees, before he finished his sentence, gripping his cock with your right hand, and licking under from base to tip, swirling around its head. Yomi hummed with approval, as you engulf his cock into your mouth, hallowing your cheeks, and bobbing your head. “Good girl, just like I showed you.” he praises, threading his fingers into your h/c locks. His pulsing cock grew with your every suck, as you take the plunge, and swallow to the base, allowing your throat to squeeze it tight.

A throaty moan seeped through the king’s lips, as he pushed your head closer toward his hips. Your eyes water, but gracefully you kept jerking your head back and forth, in rapid speed, gripping his sack with a gentle squeeze. His member pulsed within your maw, reassurance his climax was close. Your tongue toyed with his slit, before swiping past his sensitive head. Before he could reward you with his seed, Yomi pushes you off, your mouth relinquishing his cock with a pop. Your e/c downcast, almost disappointed you wouldn’t be able to taste his sweet nectar.

Pulling you up by your arms, he bends down, planting a passionately domineering kiss on your cracked lips. Surrendering into the kiss, you stayed motionless, allowing him to guide you to the bench, and breaking the kiss to turn you around. He leans behind you, nipping your ear, and whispers “Relax and enjoy it.” Taking a deep breath, you urged your jitters away, as he helps you lift your knees up, one by one, strapping them down, and doing the same treatment to your arms, and finally, your torso.

After tightening your bounds to satisfactory, he lingers his touch down your spine, stopping short near your anal plug. Helplessly laying flat on your stomach, you wait anxiously, as his hands caress your ass, and down to your dripping cunt. Cold fingers push past your petals, a familiar floral scent pass through your nose. Not this again. You pant, and after an extended amount of time of using this stuff, you stopped fighting, and instead enjoyed the ride. Staying quiet, you submit to your position, mewling when his digits stirred your insides, and slipping out.

His rough hands grip your hips, as he aligns himself up with you, dipping his tip between your folds. Your hips wiggle, hungry for his wide girth. Teasingly, he rubs against your wetness, taunting you. Shivering, you glance behind your shoulder, having the urge to demand he fucked you, but instead held back. The consequences were too much, and you needed that sweet climax, one he’s been denying you of for so long. This pains you, and what you were about to say killed you inside. “Y-Yomi-sama-“ you shakily sang. “P-Please, fuck my greedy pussy.”

“Since you asked so politely.” he purrs, slapping your ass, and burrows his cock to your womb, slamming his hips against yours. Sobbing with pleasure, your pussy tightens around his girthy length, ready to cum already. The king trails his claws down your thighs, scratching lightly, and aims his hips up to your most sensitive spot. Relentlessly, your trainer pounds into your depths, his right hand latches onto your hair, and pulling your head back, so better to listen to your pleasure filled melody.

“This is what you get when you’re compliant.” he pants, reaching down with his left hand, grinding his thumb into your clit. You arch your hips, gyrating between his thumb and his merciless thrusts, the sensitivity in your cunt driving you mad. Laying his broad torso onto your back, he trails kisses between your shoulder blades and the back of your neck, his jet black hair cascading around his face.

Your thighs tremble with his erratic thrusts. “Yomi-sama, oh god!” you chanted, quivering with electrifying pleasure. Approaching your edge closer, your walls clench around his pulsing cock, tugging and urging for climax. Hesitant if you should let go or not, you arch your ass, milking every inch of him.

Biting your shoulder, Yomi licks the trickling blood. “I give you permission to cum.” he encourages, you further by pinching and tugging your clit, causing you to arch your back. After a few ferocious thrusts, all senses drown in ecstasy, your intense climax showering you with one of the single best feelings you’ve ever felt, while you screams filled the dungeon. Exhausted, you collapse onto the bench, and shut your eyes while the king’s thrusts struggled to keep his pace, deeply grunting close to your ear.

Bursting within you, his nectar exquisitely coated your walls, while the excess drips down Yomi’s thighs, and onto the bench. Both of you lie in a steamy, panting heap, riding out your highs. He sits up abruptly; still having the energy to move after such an erotic display wasn’t quite surprising. Pulling out of your folds and letting go of your sweat covered locks, he strokes your back, allowing you a calming aftermath.

“A humorous thought occurred to me.” he pauses, taking off your straps. “I may need to keep you for myself, as a personal concubine. You’re far too valuable to sell.” Your head whips around tiredly, you tried forcing words of protest. Yomi just cracks a smile, his decision final. He bends down and gives you heavy kiss. “Hope you can keep up with my interest.”

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Six Baudelaires AU, Part One {AO3} {Read from the Beginning}

Chapter Twenty-Four → in which the Baudelaires break and enter

Lilac woke up while it was still night.

Well, technically, night was almost over; within a few minutes, she could see the sun start to rise over the forest they were driving beside. Klaus was curled up against her, still asleep, his glasses tucked into his jacket pocket so nobody would accidentally roll over them. On her other side, Sunny was leaning against her arm, smiling as she dreamed about biting things, and on the other side of Klaus, Violet and Nick were side-by-side, the three siblings leaning on each other as Solitude curled up against Nick, Babbitt asleep on her shoulder.

Lilac didn’t move, instead staring up at the sky; she didn’t want to wake any of her siblings, they deserved their rest. She hummed quietly, knowing that songs helped Sunny remain asleep, especially if she was leaning against the singer, feeling deep breaths and hearing soothing notes. Klaus seemed calmed, too, even though they were traveling down a bumpy road, and the truck made loud noises as it traveled, and they could hear birds squawking from the woods.

Nick woke up next, but he didn’t say anything; Lilac could only tell he was awake because he turned his head to the side to check and see if she was up, and then he held Solitude a bit closer to him; he still didn’t quite like her being away from him for long. He wasn’t normally so quiet, but they’d also just escaped from Count Olaf by stowing away on a truck to a lumbermill their parents might have visited once. So it wasn’t like they were in normal circumstances.

Slowly, all the Baudelaires awoke, and sat up, quietly looking between each other. “How much longer you think we have?” Violet asked.

“I doubt very much. We seem to have been driving all night.” Lilac said.

“Food?” Sunny asked.

“We’ll find something, Sun. Promise.” Lilac said. “Maybe there’ll be a restaurant in town.”

“We don’t have money.” Klaus said.

“Maybe they’ll be nice.” Lilac shrugged. “We just… we just tell them we’re six starving, lost orphans and… and we…”

She curled up, trying to hold back tears again. Solitude crawled over to her, and then pulled Babbitt out of her pocket, holding him out. “Friend?” When Lilac didn’t say anything, Solitude precariously placed Babbitt onto her big sister’s knee.

Babbitt chirped, and Lilac quietly muttered, “Thanks, Solitude.”

“Maybe they’ll remember our parents.” Violet said. “Or they’ll recognize the spyglass or something.”

“Or maybe they’ll know Aunt Josephine or Uncle Monty.” Nick said.

“Eye.” Sunny said.

Then, quietly, Solitude said, “Olaf.”

They fell silent again, and Violet said, “I honestly hope none of them have heard of him. Means he’s never been there.”

“No, it means it’s easier for him to disguise himself and fool everyone.” Nick said.

“Don’t talk like that!” Klaus said.

“Yeah, Nick, don’t scare everyone.” Lilac said. “We’re already scared enough. This… this is a terrifying situation.”

“Well…” Nick bit his lip. “Remember what Mother said? ‘Do the scary thing first…’”

“‘Get Scared Later.’” Violet nodded.

“Speaking of which,” Klaus said, and the children realized the car was starting to slow, “We should probably get moving.”

“What?” Lilac asked.

Klaus bit his lip. “I really doubt that guy’s gonna like that we’re hitchhiking, and he’s gonna notice us in a moment.”

“Maybe he’ll be nice.” Lilac said doubtfully.

“Do we wanna take that chance,” Nick asked, as the truck finally stopped, “Or do we wanna risk him sending us right back to Mr Poe?”

They looked at each other and then Sunny said, “Sondheim,” meaning, “Let’s travel through the woods, and follow the road from there; can’t be that much of a walk.”

“Good idea, Sun.” Violet said, picking up the infant. “Let’s head out.”

Nick lifted Solitude, who quickly took Babbitt off of Lilac’s knee and stuffed them into her pocket. Lilac and Klaus, fast as they could, climbed out of the truck, helping Violet and Nick down as they heard the driver’s door open. Lilac gestured with her head, and the siblings raced into the woods. They heard the driver call after them, but they didn’t slow, and within a few minutes, they were running through the trees.

“I think we’re almost out of the woods!” Violet called.

Lilac had hitched up her skirt a few hours ago, in order to travel better, and she watched as Violet and Nick scampered up a tree, pulling themselves onto thick branches and trying to get a better view. Nick was a bit higher, but Violet seemed to have fewer leaves on her side.

“Be careful!” Klaus called. “You don’t want to fall!”

“We’re not gonna fall, dipshit!” Nick called. “We’re not you!”

“I’m gonna pull you down myself!” Klaus shouted up at him.

“We’re almost there!” Violet said. She glanced down, pushing her hastily-tied ponytail out of her face, and then said, “Li, tell Soli to get back here!”

Lilac turned, seeing that Solitude was chasing Babbitt towards a bush. “Solitude! Babbitt! Don’t wander off!”

“Boo!” Solitude huffed, but she did hold out her hand, and Babbitt jumped onto her palm. Sunny, sitting at Klaus’s feet, waved her over, holding out her hands so she could hold Babbitt for a little bit.

Violet and Nick finally reached the top of the tree, and Lilac flinched as they elbowed each other to get more room. After a moment, they started climbing down, and Violet said, “There’s a town not far from here! Maybe a few minutes’ walk! Think I saw the lumbermill!”

“It looked close?” Lilac asked.

“Well, you know we’re shit at judging distance,” Nick said, balancing precariously on a branch, “But yeah, probably only a few minutes’ walk.”

“Okay.” Lilac said. “Okay, let’s head out. Solitude, Sunny, we’ll carry you the rest of the way-”

They heard a snap, and looked up to see Nick falling from a broken branch. He landed on the ground with a thump, and when Lilac and Klaus screamed, he immediately leapt to his feet.

“I’m okay!” he said.

“For the love of fuck, Nick, don’t do that!” Klaus yelled.

“It wasn’t on purpose, dipshit!”

“Stop fighting.” Lilac said. “Nick, pick up Solitude. I’ll take Sunny- Violet, don’t fall down like Nick.”

“Fall down like Nick?” Violet called. “Alright!”

“Don’t you dare!” Lilac shouted, but Violet simply leapt from the branch, cheering as she toppled to the ground, only barely, and shakily, managing to land on her feet.

Nick and Soli clapped, and Lilac hissed, “Violet Malina Baudelaire, I am going to slaughter you.”

“Then do it, bitch.” Violet said, picking up Sunny and sticking out her tongue. “Let’s get into town before we’re stuck in the woods all night.”

Lilac groaned, watching Violet as she made her way through the trees, followed closely by Nick, who started loudly arguing about the best direction for them to go in, Solitude adding in her little cries of support. Klaus grabbed onto Lilac’s arm, and the two of them followed their siblings out of the forest.

“This is Paltryville?” Lilac asked.

“Sure looks like it.” Nick said.

The town they had just entered looked almost completely abandoned. The siblings stepped over an empty, cracked street, looking at the abandoned and ruined buildings around them, the signs long since faded and worn out.

“Dead.” Solitude observed.

“The town’s not dead.” Violet said. “There’s still smoke coming out of the lumbermill up there. People have to be there to be burning fuel or something.”

“Unless it’s on fire.” Nick said.

“Shut up!” Lilac hissed. “We’ll just go up and ask to talk to someone.”

“What if they don’t want to talk to us?” Violet asked.

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“I dunno. Why wouldn’t Aunt Josephine be fierce anymore?”

Lilac gave Violet a dark glare. “Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like it’s funny! That Aunt Josephine’s dead!”

“Shit, Li, do you really think-”

“Um, guys?” Klaus interrupted.

“What?” Lilac snapped, glaring at him.

She regretted yelling very quickly, because Klaus looked very pale and scared. Slowly, he pointed to their left, and they stopped walking a moment to follow his gaze.

Across the street was a tall, looming building. They couldn’t read the faded sign from this distance, but they could see the huge window at the top of the building, almost covering the surface of the wall. The window was very clearly shaped like the Eye.

“That fucking thing is everywhere.” Nick said.

“Good.” Lilac said quietly. “It means someone here might know what it means.”

“If we can find anyone here.” Violet said.

“Well,” Lilac said, “Let’s check out the lumbermill.”

She grabbed Klaus’s hand again, and they walked down the broken road, looking ahead towards the tallest building still remaining in the town, labelled with Lucky Smells Lumbermill.

When they got close to the tall gates, Violet and Nick put Sunny and Solitude on the ground, and Violet said, “Alright, we’re gonna need to get over this wall.”

“Gate’s probably not open.” Lilac observed.

Violet slowly started to tie her hair up, eyes fixed on the fence. “We could pile up rubble from surrounding buildings to climb up, but that might be a bit dangerous. Might be fun, though.”

“Could build a catapult, but we could crash into something.” Lilac said. “Boys, what’ve you read about walls?”

“I know the history of the Great Wall of China,” Nick said, “And other historical walls. Berlin, Jericho-”

“How to get over them?”

“Explosives.”

“Hmm. No.”

“...Catapult.”

“We already mentioned that.”

“Do you really expect me to pay attention?”

“I’ve read about walls, too.” Klaus said. “Hadrian’s Wall, Pink Floyd’s The Wall… although, Mother wouldn’t let me watch that one.”

At that, Sunny crawled towards the gate, and leaned against it, flinging it open.

The children stared a moment, before Nick said, “I mean… that works, too.”

“Guess it’s not locked.” Lilac shrugged.

Klaus walked forwards a bit, and then paused at a sign on the wall. He walked up to it, squinting, and read it aloud. “‘Warning: Trespassers will be Put to Work.’ Does this make us trespassers?”

“We’re children.” Violet said.

“They’re not mutually exclusive.”

“Shut up, Klaus,” Nick said, “And trespass with us.”

“We’ll just say we’re children who got lost on a schooltrip.” Lilac said. “Easy enough.”

“That’s a lie, though.” Klaus protested.

“Evif.” Sunny rolled her eyes as Violet picked her up, groaning. “Grow up, Klaus.”

“But-” Klaus began, but Nick just grabbed his hand and dragged him on, as Solitude scrambled to her feet and ran after him, quickly shoving Babbitt onto her shoulder.

The children walked quietly through huge stacks of wood, piled all around the ground, tied up and probably prepared to distribute into trucks. Lilac slowly moved behind her siblings, glancing at the gate that was swinging shut. The mill seemed to get more intimidating as they got closer; it was a cold gray, the metal looked rusted, and the smoke from their fumes billowed higher above their heads.

“Maybe this was a bad idea.” Violet said.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Nick said. “We’ve never had a good idea in our lives.”

“This is serious, though.” Violet said. “We ran away from Mr Poe, we’re at this weird lumbermill, we don’t even know-”

She let out a screech as she felt a sudden hand on her shoulder, and the siblings all whipped around.

“Sorry!” said a man behind them, stepping back and looking very apologetic. “Sorry, I thought you were trespassers, but now I see you’re just children!”

As soon as Klaus calmed down, he said, “They’re not mutually-”

“We’re schoolchildren!” Nick said, slamming a hand over Klaus’s mouth.

“We got lost.” Lilac said.

“Because we’re useless.” Violet added.

“Froggy!” Solitude added helpfully.

“Bite!” Sunny shouted.

The man looked a bit confused, but he said, “Well, I’m Charles. My partner runs this lumbermill-”

“Have you ever seen any of these people?” Nick asked, pulling the photo from his pocket and almost shoving it in the man’s face.

Charles looked very alarmed, and after a second, he said, “Well, you better come with me.”

[the-voice-of-hell]

Rent is Theft, part 22

Read from the beginning here, read the previous chapter here.  Note:  My MC is a Filipina trans woman and I am not.  If you have notes on that or anything else, hit me up.

                                                       ***

      We finally forced ourselves to go do proper cleanup on my apartment, the hellhole.  I turned on the oven hood and the bathroom fan to vent funky smells, cleaned up everything I could, amassed some garbage bags worth of horribleness, ran some laundry, took out the trash from cleaning twice.

      We left the main chalk circle intact, policing the edges and clarifying it from the bulk chalk.  I recreated the triangle on fresh floor, and the symbols of mercury inside it.  I only drank a glass of wine for the drunkenness aspect of my magic.  Hopefully it would be sufficient.  I was hoping to ease off of my alcoholism sometime soon.

      During it all we had more visits from floories, made plans, and so on.  At last we parted ways - Leimomi to clean herself up in her apartment, me to finish up some work in my own.  I’d never gotten a proper bed, but was able to borrow a few ottomans and cushions from Deandre to at least make a good surface for lovemaking, all put together in place.

      I’d set out a bunch of candles and I would be damned if they didn’t get lit, every one. This was going to be romantic as Hell...  OK, my bedroom wasn’t nearly as cool without the decor that had gone out the window, but in the candlelight, all that would be visible is sweet sweet love.

      She came over, wearing clean capri leggings and a fresh t-shirt, although now she had a flannel over the top.  She did it!  For my part, I was wearing a gauzy black gown over bright purple lingerie.  We both had our heads under fresh wraps.

      “Whoa, where’d you get the flannel?,” I asked, hoping she’d see my carnal interest was genuine.

      “I borrowed it, don’t wanna say.  Wow, you’re so pretty.”

      “Aww, I love you.  And you’re so handsome.”  I tugged on the borrowed shirt.  Honestly, I knew it had to have come from Perry - tallest guy on the floor - probably by way of Patrick.  An impressive act of bravery on her part.

      “Thank you, Courtney.”

      I locked up the door.

      She looked into my bedroom, seeing all the candlelight.  “Why do you have all of that?  I don’t wanna see myself.”

      “Oh, hon, it’s not much light.  It’s to be romantic.  Candles!  Did you have enough to eat, or do you want to go straight to my boudoir?”

      “I ate.”  She stood in the door of my bedroom and I slid on by, taking up her hands.

      I pulled her inside.  “Come in, feel the romance!”

      She scrunched her brows adorably and let herself be dragged, though she wasn’t comfortable enough to take a seat just yet.  I had a mix of slow R&B jams from the late ’80s early ’90s on, something by SWV at that moment.  I pulled her into a slow dance.

      “How do you like my slow jams?”

      “It sounds funny.  Is it super old?”

      “Old and moldy.  I haven’t thought about a lot of these songs since they were new, but I got them for nostalgia a long time ago, and then I was, like, better for a date than my grunge music.”

      “Yeah, OK.  It’s nice.”  She was distracted.  “But I’m putting out these lights before we do stuff.”

      “Sure thing, baby.”  I kissed her and it worked.  She started paying attention to the task at hand - love.  We slow danced for another couple of songs, made out, felt each other up.

      “Am I butch yet?  Or is it queer because I have lipstick?”

      “I don’t care.  Whatever you are, I want some.”

*Big redacted sex scene: thing to know for later is that it ended with a condom-wrapped cucumber with a dishtowel wrapped in the middle part balanced on a towel rack in the bathroom*

     There was a knock at the door.  Our R&B slow jams surely could be heard in the hall.  Didn’t they know what it meant, when Keith Sweat was singing “Make it Last Forever”?  “We can ignore that, babe.”

      “What if it’s an emergency?”

      “They’ll get more insistent.”

      “Get your robe on.  Go.”  She kissed me and pushed me away.

      I rolled my eyes, grabbed my robe, and went to the door.  I noticed she was following me, completely *****, so I resolved to keep the door mostly shut for her.  I answered it, poking my head out.

      “Graeme?  What could you possibly need at this hour?  Cup of sugar?  Baking cookies?”

      She giggled behind me.

      “Sorry, I heard you were taking the night off, but didn’t know it was all the way off.  I’ll leave you be.”  He started away and I closed the door, but Momi kept me cornered there.

      “Hey.  We should bring him in.”

      I blinked.  “What?  Are you kidding?”

      She reached past me and opened the door, calling out, “GREE-EEM.  COME BACK.”

      “No!  No.  Are you crazy?  Why?”  I turned to tug on her arm, try to get the door closed again.  She was too strong.

      “You did a three-way before.  We should do a three-way.  I can find out why he’s so hot.”

      “I do not want to mess us up again.  It would mess us up again!  Please, Momi!”

      From out in the hall I heard his voice, muffled by the door being mostly closed.  “Umm, what’s going on?”

      She looked at me earnestly, but with an impish streak as well.  “It won’t mess us up.  It’s just for fun.  Greem!  Hey!”

      I could feel my face folded in a thousand places like paper sculpture.  “Are you for real?”

      “We’re in love, we’re good.  This is just for fun.”  She kissed me.  “Hey Greem, come in!”

      “I don’t think so.  Sounds weird in there.  Good night, girls.”

      She pushed the door open farther and I half fell into the hall.  “No, man.  Come back, come in.”

      “I just wanted to plan the exorcism stuff.  It’s no big deal.”

      Momi poked my back.  “I want him in here, c’mooon...”

      “Oh my god,” I said.  “Graeme, come on.  Please, just give me a moment?”

      He got a grumpy look and only came back as far as the door.

      Leimomi peeked out.  “C’mon, you know you want it.”  Then she slipped away, embarrassed at herself at last?

      He said, “No.  I know you Courtney, at least enough to know this is a mess I’d best avoid.”

      “You’re not wrong, but please.”  I reached out my arm.  “Come in, just a moment, hear me.”

      He bit his lip, most unsexily.  It was the lip biting of, “I don’t wanna say swear words,” but he came back to the door.

      I speedily doffed my robe, throwing it over Leimomi’s body.  She giggled and caught it there, just holding it over herself under the arms like a sheet or towel after a bath.  For my own modesty, I just leaned on the kitchenette island and looked over at him from a profile view.  Not much visible there in the dim light, I hoped.

      “Uh, hi Greem,” Momi said.

      “It’s Graeme.  Courtney?”

      “It’s like this, bud.  The love of my life over here got a wild hare to bring somebody non-threatening in for a three-way.  Tag, you’re it.”

      She made a coy face at him.  “You know you wanna *redacted*, right?”

      He was still grumpy.  He held out his arm and I didn’t understand at first.  Then I realized he was showing us something.  Red blood dripped from it and splashed on the floor.  “You see this?”

      “God, Graeme, are you OK?”  I forgot my modesty and turned to face him, took a step forward.

      “Yeah.  I figured out it isn’t blood.  If it was, I’d be dead by now.”

      “What is it?,” Leimomi asked.

      “I’m literally red-handed because of this curse stuff.  Most of the time it just looks like port-wine stain, but when I’m doing anything, let’s say, naughty, it starts to pour this red stuff.”

      “Naughty how?,” she asked.

      “At work it’s fine.  When I come home here, when I first get in the building, it starts.  Kinda thin, like sweat, but enough to mess up a shirt.  I know it’s ridiculous, but when I try to *redacted*?  It’s like this.  If I do anything sexy with you, it’s gonna look like the elevator lobby at The Overlook Hotel.”

      I said, “And here I just thought it was you trying to be a good boy, keep me from messing up my love life again.”

      “That’s part of it too.  You just got with her, right.  You wanna mess that up?  This is how people mess things up.”

      I looked at Momi.  “See, we agree.  Bad idea, baby.  You really think we’re ready to get somebody else in our bed without causing weird feelings?  Problems?”

      She made an expression like a three year old giving up on her dream of buying a puppy.  “I guess.”

      “You really wanna do this, don’t you?,” I asked.

      “Even with the Kool-Aid man hosing down your sheets?,” he asked.

      She nodded and let the robe slip off one tit.  “I dunno.  What do you think, Grame?”

      “Graeme.  You can see what my body thinks.”  He held up his hands, red dripping off of the fingers rapidly.  “I don’t think I’m convinced yet, in my mind.”

      She looked at me.  “Is this OK?”  She stepped closer to Grime, dropped the gown further, holding it at waist level.

      “Give it a try, hon.”

      “*redacted*”  She cocked her head and smiled at him.

      “Oh god,” he said.  He kept his hands clasped in front of himself and looked back and forth between us in a small panic.

      “Try it out, Graeme.  See if you can handle it.  I believe her.  This is just about fun, you’re just gonna be a fling for us, and we’ll still be in love tomorrow.”

      She nodded enthusiastically and *redacted*.

      “Damn, Graeme.  I’d do it, if I was you.”

      “Oh god,” he said again.

*Big redacted sex scene.  The thing to know for later is that Momi and Courtney’s head wraps escaped again and made it into yokai erotica.*

      “Oh no,” Momi cried, as her hair recovered its strength.  It bunched up behind her head and pushed her off the bed.  It spun and twisted in the air around her like the erotic display of some unclassfiable deep sea organism - bigger than before.

      But she was able to join in the fight, and between the three of us, we got it tied up.  We worked in stages - I got a big hank tied in a knot, then another, and while they punched me I caught them from behind with a pillowcase.  Then I tied that to a piece Grime was pinning down, and so on.

      At last we were done, laying across the slime-drenched furniture, totally wasted.

      Leimomi said, “I’m so sorry.  I guess it really was a bad idea.”

      Grime said, “I had no idea.”

      “Yeah,” I said, “Let’s not do that again.”  I patted Grime on the shoulder to reassure him, then went to kiss my girl.  “It’s OK.  Not your fault, babe.  I’ll get us some water and snacks, then we can try to clean up this nightmare.”

      “Thank you, Courtney.”

      “Thank you, Courtney.”

      I took care of my friend and my lover.  Could I have one night that didn’t end in total exhaustion and hellish explosions of slime?  I’d have to work on that.                                                        ***

      The red washed out well - not like blood at all.  Still, it was an all day chore to get it out of the furniture.  That meant we weren’t able to get an exorcism in at the end of the night, but at least I spoke with Patrick and came up with a new ritual more tailored to his situation.  We also had the idea to try and make it a double - exorcise Perry at the same time.

      Talking things through with Leimomi and Grime, we were mercifully not too traumatized by the experience, but agreed to keep an eye out for PTSD symptoms.  We had all been *redacted*, in a sense.  Good to be careful with our hearts for a while.

      The day after that I was out shopping and shoplifting for magic supplies when I got a call from Grime.  On his way to work, he’d overheard that they were doing a heat treatment for bed bugs on the entire thirteenth floor the very next day.  Would we feel the effects?

      Neither of us knew, but I made sure to let people know - to stock up on water and food that didn’t need to be cooked in case we were sweltering, anything else to help limit our comings and goings, keep heads low until the treatment was finished.  I figured the more we used the elevator while that was going on, the more likely we’d run into management, raise suspicion.

      That night we did the exorcism.  It was a much less vomitous affair, which had me concerned that it didn’t work.  But on examination, the old gay gents were clean!  We did it.  Everything was coming up roses.

     The day of the heat treatment, most of the floories took my advice to stay in - including Patrick, worn out from the exorcism and having some sick days to burn.  Leimomi and I distributed the food and supplies, so we got to visit with everyone, at least briefly.  It was nice to see Mike in human coloration again, though he looked worse for wear in other respects.

      Grime was the only person who chose to stay out of the apartments during the day of the bug bake.  Work was going into crunch time, and no one would think anything of him staying there all hours.  I invited Momi to stay in my apartment, and that morning we had bologna sandwiches and oranges for breakfast and listened to some tunes.

      When would the burning begin?  The concrete between floors meant we couldn’t hear men walking around with equipment, doing setup.  We could judge by how often we felt the slight hum from the elevator’s movement, but it could barely be felt above the sound of music or mild conversation.

      I feel like the night of sex gone wrong put a big damper on Leimomi’s recent friskiness, which was OK.  We had forever to get in the mood again, and it was relaxing to lay together without the expectation it might turn into something more physically demanding.  After breakfast we lounged on my fake bed, finally dried out from the cleaning a few days before.  We said nice things and kissed and held hands.

      “I’m glad we got out of Pilipwaii.  Too many nuns and nosy neighbors,” I said.

      “Yeah.”  She lazily closed her eyes.  “And everybody wanted you to be a model, Miss Pilipwaii.  We could never be a secret if you did that.”

      “So true.  But is it suspicious that we came to a renowned lesbian mecca?”

      “You think they know something?  Will we be able to ever go home again?”

      “Too risky.  Gotta live free.  We’ll send our families christmas cards and they can just pretend things are normal, if they have to.”

      “Losers.  I wouldn’t even send them a christmas card.”

      “Good idea.  Same money on stamps, spend it on lesbian things for your new life.”

      “Can we do my haircut tomorrow night?”

      “Marcie and Richie really wanna go next, but I think they’ll understand.  Yours is pretty dangerous.  Richie’s could theoretically burn down the building, but they’ve basically got it under control.  You don’t.”

      “Yeah, god.  I’m glad Grime was there to help out this time.”  Pain wrinkled her brow.

      “It’s OK babe, let’s not talk about it.”  I kissed her forehead.  “Once they’re done with the heat, let’s go split a sandwich at Subway and have some nice cold pop.”

      “Yeah, I like that.  What kind of sandwich?”

      “We could just do whatever the five dollar one is.”

      “Not if it’s tuna or meatballs.  Yuck.”

      “I like tuna alright.”

      “I dunno.  Sometimes it's OK,” she said, “but most times I don’t like it.  It doesn’t taste like nothin’ and it’s funky and feels weird in my mouth.”

      “That sounds like a challenge to me.  I’ll get an expensive piece of tuna from Whole Paycheck and cook it up just right, and you’ll be ‘Oh Courtney I love your tuna so much’.”

      “Hehe, you can try.  Bet it still sucks.”

      “Argh.”  I lay my head down on her chest.  I quickly picked it up again - we had stuck together with early stage sweat.  “I wonder if they started, or if that’s just from the day warming up.”

      “Am I gross?”

      “Never.  I don’t like sticking to people or things like that.  But there’s a fix.”  I awkwardly rearranged myself to pull a thin section of bedsheet between us, and nestled back into place.  “Nice.”

      “You think it’s gonna get hotter?”

      “It really shouldn’t get very hot in here.  I looked it up and concrete absorbs heat slow and releases it slow.  So basically, the heat will come through only a little at a time, have a chance to cool out before it heats us up too much.”

      “That’s science?”

      “I guess.  The man said it would get up to one hundred twenty-five degrees for three hours.  That’s awful, but that’s upstairs.  No way it gets that bad down here.”

      “OK, Courtney.”

      I took her hand again.  “The windows don’t open so the only way I could clear out Mike’s barf smell was running the oven hood fan and the bathroom fan.  Those connect to some pipes that carry air away.  Hot air rises, maybe if we run those it’ll help cool things off.”

      “Alright.”  She fidgeted with my rings.  “We hafta move out of here as fast as we can, but where would we go?”

      “Can’t go back to Pilipwaii.  The nuns will get us.”

      “I’m serious.  We could go to a shelter down in Tacoma or something, but it’s gonna be rough.”

      “Yeah, I hate that.  But if I can get a job and we can hold out for just one month, we could have enough for the down payment to move into a real place.  Reminds me, I need to get more interviews lined up.”

      “Maybe I should do a job.”

      “I don’t want you to do that.  It’s hard to get a good one, and some of the bad ones are really really bad.”

      “Sometimes guys would do day labor.  You know what that is?”

      “I think so.  You go to a temp agency or something like that, just wait, and if they get something they send you to it.  Right?  I feel like they probably give those guys just the worst kind of work to do, like moving big bags of concrete or moving hundred pound boxes of freight.”

      “Yeah, but if you do good, you could get a hundred bucks.”

      “The cheapest we’ll be able to pay for a legal place is gonna be twenty times that, as a down payment.  If you push around hundred pound blocks for twenty days, you could get crippled for life.  It ain’t worth it, babe.  Just wait for me.  I swear, I’ll get this.”

      “I believe you.  But I’m worried.  This is...”  She looked uncomfortable, sweat beginning to bead on her brow.

      “Too hot to snuggle now, isn’t it?”  I eased off of her and scooted a foot away.  “I’m sorry.”

      “It’s not your fault.”  She tucked the sheet under her arm, not liking the feel of sticking to herself.

      “Yeah, it’s my fault.  Whole thing was my idea.”

      “I didn’t hafta say yes.  I didn’t even hafta say yes to bein’ your girlfriend.”

      “Yeah, I better not push my luck by calling attention to your questionable decisions, hehe.  I’ll get us some water bottles.”  I got up and went to grab that.

      There was a knock at the door when I was conveniently close.  I opened it, noting the handle was a bit warm in my palm.  “Marcie, hi.  You wanna come in?”

      “Naw, the less people we got in any one room is probably gonna be a good thing.  You notice it?”

      “I know.  It’s heating up fast.  I don’t like it.”

      “I just think, y’know, it’s the last minute.  Those guys are probably up and down in the elevators, we oughtta sit tight.  Or should we?  We can get out now, maybe just try an’ stay out all day, like Olivia and Knobby usually do.”

      “I think we all have to make those calls for ourselves.  You might be right.  I’d just hate for one of us to get caught.  Like even if it gets to a hundred ten down here, we can guzzle water, put wet towels on our heads, whatever, just squeak through.  And it really shouldn’t come to that.  We got a layer of concrete between us and them.”

      “Yeah.”

      “Might wanna turn on your fans, see if they can suck out some hot air.  And of course, turn off all your lights.”

      “Yeah, you’re right.  Well, let’s stop breathing this hot air all over each other.  I’ll see ya, hon.”

      “See you, Marcie.”

      I closed the door.  The knob already felt warmer.

                                                         ***

   Read next chapter here.

[jeonjagia]

When the Cherries Bloom in August- Chapter 1

Slowly, I turn and come face to face with Suga. The Suga. BTS Suga. What. The. Heck.   "We will have the four meat combo," rap mon says before he sits down. "Will anyone else be joining?" "Yes, four others will," "Alright, thank you, we will get your food out to you," "Thank you," rap mon replies before settling down. "What are you doing here?" I ask in a whisper. This can't be happening right now. BTS. The group I freaking love, is sitting right here in front of me. Well, at least some of them are. "We came to see if you wanted to agree to a business opportunity," rap mon says looking at me. "What?" I ask looking from one to the other. "A business opportunity," he says slowly. "I heard you the first time," I say waving my hand, "but how did you find me, let alone know where I was goi-" I freeze. "Are you stalking me?" I ask placing my hands on the table. Rap mon looks confused then tries to speak, "um, well, no. But yes in a way," he stutters. "You're stalking me?!" I yell in a whisper, eyes wide. "Why would you do that? Just go find another person with better work experience," I say grimacing at the thought of being stalked, let alone BTS stalking me. "But your arrangements are so good," rap mon says looking up at me. "Whoa, hold on, you have seen my arrangements?" I ask wanting to dig them deeper in a hole. "Well, our company really likes your style, and-," "So," I deadpan, slitting my eyes and placing my hands in the table again, "you were the people who ordered 12 tables of 6 different types of hibiscus?" I monotone. "Um," he chews his lip, "yeah?" He looks at me hopefully. "Rap mon," I say leaning forward, "there aren't even six types of hibiscus!" "Oh," he realizes. "Ok, but can I talk to you about the opportunity?" He says voice an octave higher. "Fine," I deadpan leaning back into my seat and crossing my arms. "I want- no, the company is putting on a show on the 28th for one of our supervisors, and we want to have flowers for the tables. We, or, I found you, and think you are the perfect candidate for the job," he states intertwining his fingers. He looks very businesslike  with his glasses, and his suit, and his...his flawless skin, and his dimple, and his...his. Never mind. I stare at him for a few long second before I speak. "No," I say bluntly. "What?" He counters. "But-but why?" "Because you stalked me, followed me here, and am cornering me," I state. "Well, yeah, but, it's us, you know. You're a fan, arnt you?" He questions. "How do you know that?" "Your videos," he says looking down at the table. My eyes widen, "you watch my videos? What is wrong with you?" "Nothing, just hoping you will take the job," "Well first off, this isn't how you do it, Kim Namjoon, first, you either send a letter, which I would have probably thrown away, or called me, which I probably would have hung up, or you come and talk to me, which I-" I stop once I realize what I said. They look expectantly at me, Jin examining a salt packet. "This is you coming to talk to me?" I deadpan. Rap mon nods. "You need to learn how to do it better," I say looking out the window at Seoul night life. "Who's your bias?" Suga asks suddenly, I almost forgot he was still here, even though he's sitting right next to me. "Um," I say fingering the table marks, "he's not here yet," As if in cue, four men enter the restaurant laughing and giggling. "Oh god, not again," Jin sighs. The tallest looks around the place before resting his eyes on rap mon. "There they are," he says leading the three others over to our table. "Looks like you found her hyung, she's much prettier in real life rather than a picture," Jimin states, eyes disappearing into a crescent smile. Slowly turning to rap mon, I raise my eye brows. "In a picture?" I ask. He doesn't make eye contact, but I know he heard me. "Um," he clears his throat, "Jimin, Jhope, come on and let's sit down," he says gesturing to the four other men. "Scoot," Suga says tapping my shoulder. "Why yes sir, why don't you just smush me into the wall, that would be a nice decoration," I say sarcastically, then realize I'm talking to THE Suga. Looking at him, he has a face that says "move or I will move you," Scooting down, Jimin sits next to Suga followed by Jungkook. Tae and Jhope slide in with Jin and rap mon. "So, did she say yes?" Jungkook asks expectantly. "Um, we're working on that," namjoon sighs. "So, who's your bias nownthat we're all here?" "Jhope," I mutter quietly picking st my nails. "Who?" Jungkook asks. Sighing I almost yell, "Jhope!" "Geez, not so loud," "Hey, you were the ones who asked," I say twitching my head to the side. "So, why won't you say yes?" Jhope asks. "Because you guys stalked me to talk to me," I reply.   "Ok, so how do we make it up to you?" Jin says. "I get to date you, one of you," I say bluntly. Might as well try. "Hm, I don't think that's going to work," rap mon says. Eyes squinting I say, "fine. Then a pass to all concerts no charge," Rap mon sighs. "Can't to that, but- I can get you a pass into the building, you'll need it anyway if you work with us." Satisfied, I lean back. I can work on dating one of them later. "Fine, then, Kim Namjoon, we have a deal," I say extending my hand. Smiling, rap mon takes it and we shake. Just in time, our food comes, and I realize it is way too much. Like WAY too much. "Um, waitress, I didn't order this," I say looking hopeless surrounded by seven men. "I know," Suga says leaning over, "we did," Oh.

*** Dinner was delicious as I exit the restaurant, hoping to loose them. "Can we walk you home?" Jimin asks brushing his hand through his hair. Sighing I reply, "Fine," and start heading toward my apartment. Realizing how late it is, I forgot to bring a jacket, but then, I didn't realize I would be corralled by seven men begging me to take a job till 10:30 at night. Rubbing my hands in my arms, I walk faster to get home. "Hey," a voice calls. Turning, I see Jungkook  shrugging off his coat. "Oh no, I'm good," I say turning back and continuing to walk. "No, if you were you wouldn't be chattering up a storm, I can hear you from back here," he says catching up. "Take it," he says handing it to me. Grunting I take it and place it on my shoulders. God it's warm. And smells so good. Turning my head I inhale the scent of Jungkook loving it. "Weirdo," he says staring at me. Glaring at him I continue toward my apartment.

Walking up the steps, I shrug off the jacket and hand it back to him. "Thanks for it, and walking me home," I say to Jungkook, then the rest of them. They nod, Jin smiles. Opening the lobby door, I realize they arnt leaving. "Guys, I'm good," I say turning back around. "We want to make sure you're ALL the way safe," Jimin says smiling. Rolling my eyes, I fling the door open, not waiting for them and head to the elevator. I stop, realizing I'll be squished in an elevator with seven men. It comes and we pile in. As I am squished I try not to touch them with my hands as who knows what kind of law suits there are. "What are you doing?" V asks. "Trying not to touch you," I reply looking at Rap Mon, who I am shoved against. "Amber, we arnt going to sue you, just so you know, we need you, why would we do that?" "How did you know my name?" I ask, it not being used in any of the earlier conversations. "Oh, wait, it was in the paper wasn't it," I glare at rap mon. He purses his lips.

The elevator stops on the fifth floor and we all pile out. I walk down the hallway and start to unlock my door. "Guys, you can leave now," I say exasperated. Again, they stare at me. I'll never get rid of them. Opening my door, I enter and wait for them as they get what they want. A look at my apartment. "You know this is wrong," I say out loud hoping they would leave. "Why?" Rap mon asks looking at me. "Seven boys roaming around a girls apartment. You don't think that would be seen as wrong?" I say in a bored voice. "Plus I have to get sleep to go to work for you tomorrow." I say closing the door at the realization they arn't leaving anytime soon. Groaning, I enter my kitchen and get some snacks. "Ooh..." Jin says coming over to me. "You guys are like leeches!" I say turning away, denying Jin of his want. "Except Suga, he just sleeps, which is fine," I say taking a bite of my chips. Suga in turn funds a nice spot on the couch and falls asleep, like a cat. "May I have one?" Kookie asks giving me puppy eyes. "No," I say. He turns and pouts. "Awe amber, why can't you be nice?" "Because I don't want people to think I just want sex from you boys," I say bluntly. They freeze. "Well.....do you want sex from us?" Jimin asks hesitantly. The chip bag hits his face with a smack. "No you idiots," I say walking to my bedroom. They follow. "You aren't allowed in here," I say taking up the door way to my bedroom. "Bu-" Jimin starts before Jin pulls them away, "we've invaded her home, let's give her some privacy," "What are you boys going to do???" I ask "Umm, hang out?" Jungkook says. "I have work tomorrow!" I say enunciating my sentence. "We do too," "Ugh! You're driving me insane," I say "Fine, do what you want, I don't care. If you break it you buy it," I say pointing to rap mon who open his mouth indignantly. With that I turn and lock myself in my bedroom hoping they would be man enough to leave me in peace.

[axemetaphor]

Some Writing

I have little idea if this readmore will work because i'm on mobile but!!! I'm trying.

I wrote a bit of a something for my new fan character Unknown the Raccoon/Hedgehog [usually just called Unknown]; it starts right after they lost their memories and ends with them meeting Sonic. Kinda based on Forces (since that's what motivated me to even make Unknown!) but since ive been avoiding all spoilers it's probably not accurate lolol

Anyways—

Rating E10+

Contains mild injury, violence, and light swearing.

A hazy greenish-blue sky slowly comes into focus, partially obscured by the walls of tall buildings that rise far above their head, stretching up into the sky to brush against the clouds; the sun shines down brightly, harshly, and their whole body feels hot. 'How long have I been out here?' They wonder. They try to lift their arm, but it feels heavy, their movements sluggish. Their head aches, a dull ringing echoing in their ears, and the moment they try to twist their neck agony spears through their skull.

"Ow!" They yelp involuntarily, wincing and squeezing their eyes shut. "Oh, jeez, that hurts..." Slowly, they try to sit up, using their arms to both lift and support them. They're lying on something soft, squishy in places, covered in plastic. It feels like a lot of stuff with varying degrees of softness all wrapped in one very sturdy plastic wrap. It crinkles a bit when they move, a gentler sound than cellophane, but unpleasant nonetheless. Their eyes ease open again, and the sunlight seems slightly less harsh now. For a moment, they sit, blinking and looking around with wide green eyes. They're sat in an alleyway, in an open Dumpster practically overflowing with black trash bags. The alley itself is devoid of life, and the streets beyond it seem similarly abandoned. 'What's going on? Why am I the only one here?' Turning this way and that, they search for a clue. Finding none, they sigh, hopping down from the Dumpster, and their boots thud loudly against the concrete upon contact. Straightening up, they brush themselves off, feeling a little grimy. The walls ahead of them look equally dingy, rather run-down. 'Which way do I go?' They frown, squinting first one way, then the other. "Six of one, half-dozen of the other," they mumble, but then something catches their eye. There's a couple flyers tacked onto the walls to their left; curious, they turn that way and cautiously approach them. The city has the air of a place that really should be more busy than this—the silence is so obviously unnatural. Their boots thump with each step, the only sound heard at all. No birds, no insects dare make any noise, but why? They pause, reading the flyers, which they now realize are tacked on to the windows of what was—is?—a store, presumably. Distracting themselves for a minute, they peer into the store. Racks of clothes sit in a relatively orderly arrangement, but the shop itself is devoid of life. Their eyes slowly focus on their reflection rather than the contents of the store, and their ears prick in surprise. Leaning forward, they gently place a hand on their cheek, as if to make certain that that's their reflection.

Fluffy blueish-grey fur covers their entire body, with paler whitish fur outlining their eyes and the inside of their ears—which bear three piercings: two rings towards the tip of their ears, and one gauge piercing at the base—and covering their muzzle. Deep blue—almost black!—fur rings their eyes, with one little patch on their forehead and two stripes down their cheeks. Just beneath their chin, a plume of thick, fluffy, bright pale green fur covers their chest and neck. There's a rather tattered black rain jacket hanging from their shoulders, one sleeve half-ripped-off and the other completely absent. Form-fitting black jeans cover their legs, and are in a similar level of dishevelment. The only thing that remained intact was the studded belt wrapped around their waist, which bears two chains dangling off of it. Their gaze drifts back up to their face again, and they notice dried blood practically caked to their upper lip and around their nose; there's a dried smear of blood on one of their ears, too, right beneath one of the ring piercings. The thought 'oh, that must be the newest one' drifts through their head unbidden as they stare in mild confusion at their face. Somehow, everything about this is so unfamiliar... but how? This is their face, isn't it? So why doesn't it feel right? And how come they don't remember their name?

They close their eyes and shake their head, letting their hand drop back down to their side. "What the hell happened to me?" They think aloud, looking back at their reflection. Taking a step back, they tilt their head from side to side, checking out their spines. All are brushed to curve towards one side—their left—and the two on their right have a bit more curl in them than the ones on the left. Their gaze drifts down again, admiring their black combat boots. Flexing their foot, they realize the shoe has a steel toe, stained with blood. "Whatever it was, I guess I went down fighting." They laugh shortly, smirking, and look back up. Something else catches their attention now, a paper flapping in the wind, trying vainly to escape and flutter down the street. They reach up, gently smoothing it down with a hand, and examine it more closely. The top of the paper has the word "wanted" printed in all-caps, boldface, large font. Their eyes skim the page, automatically focusing on the chunk of text nearer to the bottom—several bullet points read "Name: Unknown. Age: Estimated 18 or 19. Height: 3'6" Reward: 100,000,000 rings," then several phone numbers. Their gaze drifts back up, and their eyes widen when they see the image accompanying this Wanted poster. Their eyes snap from the image, to their reflection, back to the image, back to the reflection. There's no mistaking it. The face in the photo, grinning smugly at the viewer, is none other than their own!

Instinctively they tear the paper down and rush to shove it in their pocket, frantically glancing about even though the street is deserted. Turning all about, they look for copies of the poster; finding none, they relax slightly, and run a hand through their hair, jamming the other in their pocket. "'Unknown,' huh..." they mumble. "Doesn't clear much up, but I guess it works...for now." Looking up, they frown. "Bigger problem—where are all the people? ...And why do I keep talking to myself?"

--•~

After an awful lot of hard work, Unknown finally made it to the top of the tallest building they could find, and they sat on the edge of its roof, wheezing slightly as they looked out at the city sprawling beneath them. The sky is still a cheery light blue above them, but they can see that, far ahead of them, a dark reddish-black cloud hangs over part of the city. A large part, too, and it's spreading. Some parts of the city are on fire, the smoke already darkening the sky, and something in Unknown's gut twists. No wonder the city is silent—it must have been evacuated. 'Guess nobody was checking the Dumpsters, though… or they thought I was dead.' Swinging their legs slightly, Unknown looks up, thinking carefully. The sky above is deceptively calm, unnervingly so—not even a bird dares disturb it. Looking back down at the dark part of the city, Unknown narrows their eyes, focusing intently. They can see, amongst the smog, some weird, slow-moving shapes that tower over the buildings. 'What on earth is going on over there?' Standing up, they swish their tail back and forth, mulling over their options. Either they run away from all the dark fiery stuff, and hope they can find where the city evacuated to, or they take their chances and head for all the chaos, because, well, why not? What even are the chances that they'd find the evacuees?

A strange curiosity consumes them, and they find their eyes drifting back to the hulking shapes almost crawling through the buildings. "I have to know what's going on over there," they think aloud, standing up. Turning around, they head for the opposite edge of the roof, then turn back around. Their eyes catch sight of a power line running from a building to the left of the one they're currently down into the sea of rooftops beneath them. Crouching down a bit, they brace themselves, take a deep breath, then sprint for the corner of the roof. Springing off it, they spin their arms a bit like a windmill, slowing them down slightly; reaching out, they grab hold of the power line, feeling it bend beneath their weight. Wrapping both hands around it, they twist their body to face the same direction as the wire leads, putting their feet in front of them. The wind roars through their ears as they slide down, squinting against the force of the air. After a short bit, they feel their grips start to weaken, arms shaking from the force of holding them still, and they crane their neck, looking for a good place to land. Right as the wire passes over a rooftop below, they let go, flailing a little; right before they hit the ground, they tuck into a roll, and somersault right up to the edge of the roof.

Without missing a beat, they spring to their feet, launching themselves off the roof to collide with the wall of a building adjacent to it. Scrabbling for a handhold, they fall a few inches before their fingers wrap around a windowsill. Hauling themselves up halfway, Unknown looks around for another place to go; spotting a decorative grate on a skyscraper across the street, they grin, then fling themselves from the windowsill. The wind screams in their ears again as they sail through the air, plummeting at an alarming rate until they collide with the grate several meters below where they were on the windowsill. The raccoon-hedgehog takes a moment to steady themselves, panting slightly, before beginning to claw their way up the grating towards the top of the building. After maybe five minutes, they can feel their arms start to burn and ache; pausing, they twist and turn, looking for a new place to go. To their left, a bit below them, is a balcony jutting out from a floor of the building. It has some potted trees and bushes almost directly beneath them, and after a moment's consideration, they casually let go of the grate, falling right into a bush. Rolling straight out of it, they brush themselves off, then dash for the opposite edge, hopping up onto the banister then springing off again; their feet collide with a roof below, and they fall into the landing, crouching down with their palms flat on the floor.

Unknown looks up, eyes searching the horizon as they get to their feet, blinking a few times. The red darkness is still pretty far away, but they can faintly smell its smoke now. Flicking an ear, they stretch briefly, trotting forward. 'Now what?' They ask themselves, looking around. To their left is a taller building with many, many windows and a rail branching off its roof, arcing down further into the city, maybe even directly to where they want to go; directly ahead, there's a shorter donut shop with a massive sculpted donut on top of it; on the right sits an apartment complex with a lot of balconies. The weirdly placed rail draws Unknown's attention, and they casually look down at their boots. "They're no SOAP shoes, but maybe they'll work..." The raccoon-hog muses aloud, heading towards their left. After a step or two, they break into a jog, then a sprint, dashing as fast as they can before vaulting up onto the lip of the roof and springing right off it. As they sail towards the building, their blurry reflection comes into focus in the windows, a grinning face with feet outstretched to take the brunt of the impact. The glass shatters so easily, thin sheets not meant for the force of a body or bullets, and they drop into a shoulder roll across the razor-sharp shards. Luckily their fur is so thick; they spring up, shake their fur out, and dash forward, hardly paying attention to their surroundings. This is an office building, with tons of cubicles all in the way, so Unknown hops up onto one of the desks then up onto the thin dividers and starts lunging from one to the other, headed for a set of elevators. Leaping off the last divider, they slam the "Up" button, then take a step back, breathing hard. The elevator whirrs softly, slowly growing louder as it approaches, until it lets out a gentle "ding!" and the doors open.

"Roof access...?" Unknown asks hopefully, ears perked, as they lean in and peer first one way, then the other, looking for the panel of buttons. Finding it, they step further into the elevator, wiggling the fingers of their right hand as they visually scan the controls, a grin lighting up their face as they spot one marked "R." Strutting all the way into the elevator, they press and hold the button, then step back and lean against the wall. The doors creak closed, and after a brief moment of stillness the elevator starts to ascend. Unknown leans back, crossing first their legs then their arms, looking at the ceiling. Their breathing relaxes to a normal pace, the pounding of their heart easing into a calm rhythm, just in time for the elevator to stop and let out another cheery "ding!" with the doors grinding open mere moments later. Immediately Unknown bounds forward, streaking towards the rail; hopping over a ventilation duct, they skid a slight bit before vaulting up onto the rail. Their boots collide with the rail, screeching loudly as the steel scrapes up against whatever metal the rail is made of. Wind rushes through their hair and that familiar feeling of weightlessness, like their stomach is lifting up into their ribcage. They pick up speed, and soon the city skyscrapers are a blur rushing past them, quickly darkening the further along they go. Looking up, Unknown realizes they're most definitely not under blue skies anymore; glancing back down, they spring off the railing a mere few yards before it ends, falling into another shoulder roll. Getting to their feet, the raccoon-hog pauses, looking first left then right.

Many of the buildings nearby are broken, crumbling and some are on fire. The sounds of chaos and destruction are much louder now, along with some very weird mechanical sounds. 'Is that coming from the huge robots I saw earlier?' Unknown wonders, looking up. A couple roofs over, they notice some smaller robots wandering around, almost like they're patrolling the area. Squinting, they try to make out just what's going on, too distracted to notice the robot creeping up behind them until—

"Look out!" Someone shouts, and a weight slams into Unknown. They yelp, tumbling head-over-heels with a stranger's arms wrapped around their shoulders. A gunshot is heard, then the sound of smashing metal, and the arms are lifted from them; scrabbling along the rooftop, Unknown scrambles to their feet, ending up in a slightly unsteady crouch with one hand pressed to the ground. Looking up, they see a somewhat-bruised blue hedgehog getting up a bit ahead of them. Without even missing a beat, he leaps up into the air, curling into a ball to smash through an air born robot. Before they can properly react, Unknown's head instinctively snaps around to see a different machine charging right for them. Letting out another yelp, they run off to their right, trying to escape it, but the machine isn't going to give up anytime soon. More are descending from the sky like metallic locusts, one thudding to the ground right in front of the sprinting raccoon-hog, who immediately drops into a sliding kick.

Surprisingly, they knock the robot right off its feet, and it detonates as the robot following Unknown mows right over it. Glancing over their shoulder, Unknown grins, an idea forming in their head; they begin to slow their pace, waiting for the robot to catch up a bit, before making a beeline right for a wall sticking up from the roof. Leaping up onto it, they take two steps upward before backflipping off of it to land behind their pursuer; their left leg lashes out, colliding with the robot and slamming it harshly into the wall. It collapses, and they land with a thump, turning immediately to see a different robot taking aim at them. 'Jesus, they never stop, do they?' Sprinting, they duck behind a ventilation duct, hearing bullets ping off of it, before they abruptly stop with a crash. Scrambling to stand, Unknown looks to see a bright pink hedgehog absolutely whaling on their former assailant. Paying little mind to that, they vault up over the ventilation duct, choosing to sprint towards their right. They see a red echidna punching straight through machine after machine, all surrounding him, and they tackle the nearest robot, surprising and distracting it. Unknown scrambles quickly to the top of its head, then springs off it just as two different machines shoot right at the raccoon-hog. They miss spectacularly; with an explosion the robot's head is gone, and Unknown lands neatly on top another robot to repeat the process. In no time, the robot's numbers dwindle drastically; Unknown leaps off the last robot's head just as the red echidna's fist collides with it, throwing it almost off the building. The raccoon-hog hits the ground a meter or so away from the red echidna, pulling themselves to their feet as the blue hedgehog and his friends all start to walk across the roof, headed for the center where Unknown and the echidna are.

Panting, Unknown pulls off their tattered jacket, slinging it over their shoulder. They've no clue why they didn't ditch it earlier, since it isn't useful at all, but at least they had a thin layer of protection, they suppose. Running a hand through their hair, they look over when the blue hedgehog calls out, "Not bad!" He grins broadly, stepping forward. The pink hedgehog and an orange fox follow him; the red echidna meanders off across the roof, looking like he's trying to find something.

"Who are you?" Intrigued, Unknown steps forward to meet the three halfway, and stares into the dark green eyes of their new friend. 'How is he not winded at all?' They wonder.

A mixture of surprise and confusion flashes across his face briefly before he smiles in a friendly manner and answers, "I'm Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog." He extends a hand, and Unknown cautiously shakes it, a bit puzzled. "These are all of my friends," Letting go of Unknown's hand, the hedgehog takes a step back and gestures towards his company, pointing first at an orange fox. "That's Tails," The fox smiles and waves cheerfully. "That's Amy," a pink hedgehog holding an absolutely massive hammer steps forward with a smile.

"Pleased to meet you!" She interrupts Sonic to extend a hand to Unknown as well. They take it with a polite smile, still a little uncertain.

"That's Knuckles," Sonic continues, gesturing towards the red echidna, who turns at the mention of his name to wave casually. "And who are you?" Turning his focus back to Unknown, Sonic raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, uh—" they frantically think back to the flyer they found, "U-Unknown."

"Unknown?" Amy echoes, tipping her head to one side and looking perplexed.

"Yep," the raccoon-hog straightens up, feigning confidence and quickly changing the subject. "Hey, what's going on? What's up with all the robots and fire?"

"Oh, y'know, same ol' Robotnik stuff." To Unknown's surprise, Sonic shrugs it off. "We're gonna take care of it, don't worry."

"Uh—I—Can I help?" For a moment, they're caught off-guard by the nonchalance this colorful crew is displaying, but they've recovered as quickly as they can.

Sonic seems surprised for a moment, then grins broadly, looking around his group of friends. They all nod, smiling themselves, and the blue hedgehog turns back to Unknown. "Sure! Why not?"

[itsawinwin-ren]

“Promise 2011″ | EXO FAN FICTION (semi-AU) | Ch. 3: ‘Some Harm, All Foul’

“Good freaking luck!? You crazy, batshit, insane, mental asylum PSA, Looney Tunes, lost marbled, wizard, psychic, witch, hag, ahjumma woman! I swear to God.” I can't even think about anything else but getting to my dongseangs… IF they are even here. I'm not even sure I'm in Korea at this point, or if I'm sitting in a nut house somewhere hallucinating all of this. I start to read down the page as I cross the street, and I stop suddenly being honked at by a taxi that almost slams into me. “YAH! I'm walking here!” I scream in irritated Korean. I begin to jog my way across the rest of the street. I crumble the “rules” paper and envelope up and throw it in my purse for now. I’m obviously and thankfully still the 2018 version of myself, as I remember Korean, which I didn't know in 2011. Helpful. I glance in a store to see my reflection as I'm rationalizing. Well, I still look my current, I mean, my future age? … 25 not 18 or 19. Great. I also remember the last 7 years, or… the next 7 years into the future from my current position in the timeline? My head hurts from this time travel and alcohol hangover. I'm thinking too hard. I’m NOT Martha McFly goddamn it all! I see the store I tried to buy the aspirin in; I know I'm getting closer to the alley I woke up in. I take a quick glance at the magazines on the street vendor shelves and I'm remembering things from this time in my life. Things I haven't thought about in a long time. This is SO surreal. My eyes light up as I see the old man that was trying to aggressively get me out of his alleyway earlier, sweeping the front of his store. I dodge out of sight, I don't want him to yell at me again. No, thank you. I wait until he's not looking and I dive back into the alley. I look around where I woke up trying to find my friends. On one hand, I don't want them here. It's dangerous and crazy. But on the other hand, I'm hoping I don't have to do this alone. Plus, I don't know if what I do here could make it to where I don't even meet them in the future at all. My head is throbbing from all of this thinking and inner monologue. “Meg?! Natalie!?" I yell walking further down the long alley, my shoes tapping the broken pavement; echoing off the walls. “Lexie?! Are you here!?" I'm beginning to panic the longer I go without finding them. What if they are here, but they got “dropped off” somewhere else?! There's a whole world they could be in! I start to feel a panic attack coming on and I have to stop to slow my breathing. I rest my forehead on ad brick wall closing my eyes. “Unnie?” I hear the most beautiful voice I've ever heard coming from the other end of a dumpster a few feet away. “Lexie! Holy hell! Are you okay?!” I run over to her and drop down on my knees. She's sitting upright against the wall. I pull off my thin jacket and put it around her shoulders, then I wrap her in my arms. She hugs me and chuckles. “Unnie, I've never drank, but is this what a hangover feels like?” “Oh baby, probably…” I laugh with a few tears in my eyes. “What happened? Why are we outside?” “I… you don't remember anything?” She shakes her head. Oh boy. “Okay, well-“ “UNNIE! LEXIE!” I snap my head down to the opposite end of the alley from where I woke up, and my tears double down my face when I see Natalie and Meg coming our way. “Baby, are you OK?” I quickly ask Lexie, who's still sitting on the ground in my arms. “I think so, unnie.” “Okay, I'll be right back! Just… Don't… Move… Okay?! K…” I smile at her standing up. I turn back to the direction of my other dongseangs and begin to run to them. Meg seems to be holding Nat up with her arm around her waist, and Nat’s limping. I immediately feel guilt. I did this to them. Me and my stupid, pathetic love for a man that doesn't even know of my existence! If I do meet you Park Chanyeol, I'm probably going to sucker punch you. Hard. “Holy crap, I'm so glad you guys are OK!” I pant flinging my arms around both of them. We hug each other tightly. “What happened?” I motion down to Nat’s foot she's elevating and I get on the other side of her, assisting Meg with the transport. We start to move slowly back to Lexie who is standing up, dusting herself off. “We're not sure. We both woke up over there behind that building… back there.” I look behind us at the back of the building where the 4 buildings’ converging back alleys are. One of the buildings has a gate and barbed wire surrounding it. Well, that's not seedy at all. Nope. “Well, she could have dropped us off somewhere less shady…” I whisper under my breath. I'm not sure they realize yet what really happened here. I want to break it to them gently, even though, I don't quite yet understand or accept this situation entirely myself. We meet Lexie halfway and she joins in with another family group hug. “Nat, are you OK? Meg?” “Yeah, we're OK, Lex Mex. I'm not sure how I sprained my ankle. Did we help you finish your bottle of whiskey last night and pass out back here? This feels like a massive hangover or something.” Nat laughs a bit. I bite my lip in response. Not even close. “Yeah, I feel like I got hit by a bus.” “I'm not sure. I don't think so.” I reply nervously kicking some rocks with my red Converse. “And not a bus, Meg. A giant clock maybe…” I have poker face as I trail off and I try to not bust out laughing. What? If I can't joke in this situation, what else can do?! Cry? Scream? Pray? Ball up and refuse to life? No. Not my style. “I don't like this at all.” I squeeze Lexie's hand to reassure her. “Unnie what? A giant cloc- wait, where's my phone?” Meg pats herself down and looks around frantically. We join in looking along the alley heading back to where they woke up. I decide to wait a bit to tell them what I think is going on. I know they'll try to throw me into a psych ward or rehab when I tell them. They'll have to come to my conclusion on their own… hopefully they'll accept this reality so we can move on faster to find a solution. We get to the middle of the back of the 4 buildings and after 5 minutes of looking, I spot her phone on the ground in some tall grass next to the fence with surrounding barbed wire. “Oh, Meg, I see it, hang on. I'll get it.” I unlatch my arm from around Nat and Lexie and trot over to where I saw the phone. Every second I'm outside, I'm getting more and more cold. My lips are trembling uncontrollably. I’m not really paying attention as I lean down to pick up her dead phone. Bam! I suddenly fall backwards, throwing Meg's phone, when some sort of ball hits the chainlink fence right near my face. I'm about to unleash hell on whoever threw that at me, which I now see is a soccer ball that's rolling to a stop on the pavement over the fence. My head throbs in response to the sudden stimuli. “Yah! Chincha?! Can't you see I'm on an important cell phone recovery mission?!” I say to anyone who’s listening on the other side of the fence as I stand up furiously dusting off my behind and black skinny jeans. “Oh! I'm so sorry. So sorry!” A voice says in Korean from over the fence. I glance over at him and he's bowing profusely; he's got his hoodie over his head concealing his features. “Yeah, you better be.” I mumble. 2 more guys run over to him and begin to bow and apologize too. “It's fine, really. It just scared me. No harm, no foul, guys.” I say in Korean, as I'm picking up Meg's phone again. I figure I'll need to speak Korean from now on. At least to the people here from this time. “We were just playing some soccer on break! We're sorry again, noona.” Noona? Well, thanks for assuming I'm older than you, you little brats. “Really…” My teeth are chattering, “it's okay.” I finally look up and my breath catches midway up my lungs making me cough and choke a bit. After composing myself, I squint at them. This isn't happening. “Aren't you cold? Don't you have a winter jacket? You're already getting sick!” The tall, lanky one says throwing the ball up in the air over and over. “Uh, yeah. I just, um… got into town. I wasn't expecting South Korean winter weather to be perfectly honest. Do I know you?” Fortunately and unfortunately, I know exactly who they are. “Probably not!” The smallest of the 3 says to me. “I'm Baekhyun, this is Kris hyung…” He motions towards the tallest, “and he's Chanyeol. What's your name?” “I… uh… I… Ren, Ren Baek. Baek Ren. Baek Seoyeon. Laur- Ren. I'm Ren.” I can't even get out my freaking name in this tornado of a scene. But, on the bright side, they now know my name and that I exist. Progress! I TAKE IT WHERE I CAN GET IT, PEOPLE. Touché gypsy ahjumma. Touché. I look back at my dongseangs still standing at the entrance to the alley talking amongst themselves and then back to the 3 SM rookies behind the fence. I literally have no idea what to do at this point. These are definitely not the seasoned, egotistical, untouchable EXO men I've been following for 6+ years. The same ones that looked right through us less than 24 hours ago. “Ren Baek? You're not from here, are you?” Baekhyun grins. “That’s the understatement of the century...” I chuckle nervously running my hands through my long red hair. They blankly stare at me blinking their eyes. I'm normally full of words, but I got nothing. I feel like I'm in a dream or on LSD. When I imagined the day I would meet Chanyeol and EXO, I can tell you… It wasn't like this. STAY ON SCRIPT, EXO. WHY. “Lauren Ashley! Come on!” I look back at Meg calling me irritated. They won't believe this. “Who is it, unnie?” Lexie yells across the courtyard. “What?!” I quickly spin around plastering my outstretched arms, back, and legs against the fence, to prevent them from seeing who I've “randomly” met, causing it to shake violently behind me. They aren't ready. I'm not even ready. “Just some amateur soccer player enthusiasts! I'll be there in a second!” She nods turning back to the group. I slowly turn back around still trying to conceal them. “Lauren?” “Ashley?” The boys say amongst themselves. Thanks, Meg. Kris links his fingers into the fence holes looking at me smirking and stepping closer. “Mmm yeah, that's m-my full name. Everyone calls me Ren though. She calls me that when she's irritated.”   I laugh a bit as I look down at my feet and I shiver slightly. “I think I like Lauren better.” The young Chanyeol beams. “Me too. It's exotic.” Baekhyun and Kris nod. Exotic. K… we’ll go with that. “Come on! It's time for dance!” The 3 boys and I look behind them at the double doors, now held open by another young, future EXO member. Well, hello, long haired, crazy cute Suho, leader nim. We're in so much trouble. “Ne, hyung! Nice to meet you, noona!” “Sorry for the ball.” Baekhyun and Chanyeol wave running off towards Suho. I wave at Suho and smile, but he doesn't acknowledge me. Stranger danger alert mode much, Suho? Smart. Keep those sasaengs from well… Sasaeing. You can never be too careful. Noona mode: activated. I shrug and as I'm about to tell Kris to go and not get in trouble, my vision goes dark as something lands on my head. I hear the young Wu Yifan laugh as I pull it off my face slowly, pursing my lips somewhat irritated. I don't like surprises. “Stay warm!” The barely adult Kris runs off yelling back at me in English with a smile that makes me blush. “T-thank you!” I yell back at him before he disappears behind the double doors. It's quiet again with the exception of my friends chatting about 30 ft. away and the obnoxious morning birds hovering around. Get lost. This is no time to serenade me. Do I look like I need to be serenaded by a flock of birds right now?! No. I look down and I bring the hoodie up over my head, then smooth it out. He gave me his hoodie. Of course he did. I sigh biting my lip and prepare to rejoin my unsuspecting dongseangs. “Here's your phone, babe.” “Oh, thanks unnie. Who were those kids? Did he give you a hoodie?” She looks confused and curious. “Uh, I don't know and yes. He said I looked cold. Hey, let's go find an ER to get your ankle sorted out Nat, yeah?” I change the subject quickly looking towards Natalie and she really does need to get it checked out. “It's not THAT bad, but yeah, OK. Let's go. I don't want to miss our flights.” Nat says. I have a feeling we’ll be waiting for those flights for a long time. I return to Nat’s side assisting Meg in helping her to walk once more, and I grab Lexie's hand again. “Seriously though, what happened last night?” Meg chimes in halfway down the street. I'm waiting impatiently for them to get a crash course in our situation at any moment, like what happened to me earlier. I'm struggling to find an opening to tell them. Who knows? I might have just finally snapped and I'm hallucinating all of this. That would be preferable to this. “Oh look, I think that's a walk-in clinic across the street.” I say pointing. It's in Hangul and English. “Why is everything in Korean?” Lexie questions looking around as we walk the crosswalk. “Little Korea?” Nat answers. “I read about this area in my inflight magazine on the way here.” I huff in relief. Sure, we’ll go with that for now. We reach the clinic and I open the door for everyone. A tall Korean woman is standing behind the desk. “Hello.” I say bowing. The others join in my greeting. “I'll get you checked in, Nat.” “Thanks, unnie.” I walk to the counter and tell her what we need to be seen for. She hands me a clipboard to fill out. Great. Hangul it is, even though I'm rusty. I sit down next to Nat and instead of handing her the clipboard, I offer to fill it out for her. Thankfully, she agrees. I fill out what I can and ask her when I don't know the answers to certain questions. “Okay. I think that's it. Sign and date here.” I hold the clipboard as she signs. I smile at her getting up and as I approach the woman, I stealthily scratch out March 19, 2018 and write March 19th, 2011. I have got to tell them. Soon. After a few minutes, a nurse calls Natalie back to get examined. “You guys can wait here if you want. I'll go with her.” I help Nat sit down in a wheelchair the nurse brings over. Meg and Lex nod in approval. Nat and I sit in the exam room waiting for the doctor. I'm praying he speaks English. It's not like we can't understand, but I just don't want Nat to get suspicious when they start rip roaring in Korean. We're supposed to be in Los Angeles. “You OK, unnie?” Nat questions softly. “Yeah, I'm OK I think. I'm more worried about you though, you clutz.” I joke. She scrunches her eyebrows with a thoughtful expression, not the giggle I anticipated. “Wait, I remember we were in the hotel and… ET Korea was on. Didn't Chan and Dara get engaged? You were devastated. After that, it's all hazy.” I cringe inside at the thought of the impending engagement, but I hope the fog will clear. Fast. After a few knocks on the door, a doctor comes into the room. He begins his exam in Korean, but we talk to him in English. I'm beyond relieved when he picks up our queue and responses in broken, but decipherable, English. “Okay, we do an X-RAY now. Be back soon.” We bow and thank him. A few minutes later, a nurse comes in to wheel her off to X-RAY. I’m alone now. Just me and my thoughts. I decide to pull out the “rules” letter again. I better get aquatinted with this before I attempt an explanation to them. God help me. “Rules of Time Travel:” I sigh and roll my eyes. 1) DO NOT try to contact your “past” self or try to meet them. Stay far away from your doppelgänger. The consequences could be disastrous. You could consequently end up not existing at all, past or future. Just because you're here, it doesn't mean your past self disappears. I nod my head thinking this makes sense. I'm just about to read the 2nd rule when the door swings open violently. I jump. “Unnie. We need to talk. Now.” Meg and Lexie are standing there looking half panicked and half angry. I must have a horrified look on my face, because I have a pretty good idea what's coming next. “Show her, Lexie.” “Why does my phone say we're in Seoul, SK?” Lexie pipes up holding her phone in front of my face. She must have found her charger. I let out a breath I'd subconsciously been holding in. “Unnie, did you drug us and fly us over here in the middle of the night?! Just to try and stop this engagement or something crazy?! You know we'd never agree to this otherwise!” Meg stomps further into the room with her tirade. Oh. I’m dying laughing on the inside.

[metawitches]

  Or, Why Do Little Girls have to Choose Between Being Good and Being Powerful?

I was never much for Disney princesses growing up. None of them ever spoke to me. I was more into characters like Simba from Lion King. I suppose, for whatever reason, I was more concerned with the personality and journey of the character than their gender. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Jasmine, Ariel…none of them did anything for me. I don’t even remember thinking they were particularly pretty. I liked Megara from Hercules a little, but I was more about Pegasus, Hercules, and Hades in that movie. The complex characters with clear goals and inner journeys were always the ones who appealed to me. (And animals. Being an animal makes a big difference to me.)

I can only think of one work that I loved as a child where the female characters were my favorites – Avatar: The Last Airbender. Katara and Azula were my goddesses, and I loved Mai, Ty Lee, Toph, and Suki. (I didn’t care for Yue, though I appreciate her a lot now. She was too soft and weepy in my eyes.) They’re still some of my favorite characters ever. So I did have female characters to look up to growing up, but they weren’t Disney. And the story wasn’t about them. They were real, complex people, but they were there to support the story, not the reason the story was happening. But most importantly, they were on a random little show (popular, but still not terribly culturally influential) on Nickelodeon, not in one of the iconic movies about and for girls by the company that helps define American, and much of Western, culture. Not one of the movies that functions as a vessel to teach girls about how to be a girl and provides them with the people they’re going to look up to and aspire to be like throughout their childhoods and probably into adulthood.

I wasn’t concerned with that as a child. All I knew was that I didn’t care about the same characters most other girls did and I wanted to be a waterbender like Katara, or an insidiously powerful acrobat like Ty Lee, or a commanding princess who could get anything she wanted like Azula.

I was 17 when Frozen the movie first came out. I wasn’t a little girl, but I was definitely a girl. I had no idea what I was doing with myself and I felt very isolated and I didn’t know who or what I wanted to be. Going into the theater, I didn’t know what it was about – just that it involved a snowman, a reindeer, and a winter. I didn’t know it was a princess movie or even that it involved humans. (Whether something involves humans is of little importance to me.)

Watching the first part of the movie, I was charmed by Elsa and Anna like everyone else. I thought Elsa’s powers were pretty. I was a little surprised at Elsa having that much power, a small girl, in a movie like this, but I didn’t think very hard about it or try to pinpoint why.

One of the moments that sticks in my mind from my first viewing is the first moment we see adult Anna, towards the end of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman. She walks into the frame, grown up, smiling, as a soft, pretty, subtly inspiring piano melody plays. I’m not sure what it was about that particular moment that struck me, but I found myself thinking she was so, so beautiful, so hopeful, so excited about life. I felt so warm towards her in a way that I don’t remember ever feeling about any other character. I tend to focus on Elsa more, because she’s more my kind of character, but in truth Anna was deeply important to me too, and still is. I felt sort of maternal towards her, and something about it made me almost want to cry.

I kept feeling that way through For the First Time in Forever. She was so hopeful and youthful, so eager to live her life. I was a little shocked when Anna sang “don’t know if I’m elated or gassy” – Disney acknowledging that women have bodily functions?! Where did that come from? I was really happy about that. She was so real in that way. Drooling, dreaming about boys while also stuffing her face with chocolate, imagining she was one of the women in the paintings. Dancing and running and jumping, moving freely and gracefully but also clumsily. In tune with her body, unafraid to do whatever she pleased with it, but also not perfect with it. Kristen Bell sounded so sweet and beautiful and happy to be alive. I think she’s underrated as a singer.

And then we cut to adult Elsa. I was surprised by how husky her voice was, and it immediately made me feel like there was a deep power to Elsa. Her quiet, intense singing combined with Anna’s bell-like (ha, get it?) joy touched something deep inside me, though I didn’t know what.

Then Let It Go happened. When Elsa started quietly brooding about her failure to do what her parents told her and how alone she was now, I figured that was all the song was going to be. When she sang “Well now they know” and let her glove fly away, I thought we were about to enter a remorseful chorus about what a failure she was and how she’d ruined her life and it was all her fault. And I wasn’t dreading that. It was just where I assumed we were headed. That would be the typical path.

When she turned around, smiled, made a small swirl of ice and snow and sang the simple words “Let it go,” it literally felt like a light bulb turned on in my head. Elsa had gone in the opposite direction from what I was expecting, and I instantly understood. Of course. She wasn’t stuck in her depression and loneliness anymore – she wasn’t trapped in her room. She had no one to pretend for, no one to protect. And she’s immensely powerful. *She* doesn’t need any protection alone up there. So the feelings of loss were there; that’s what comes with letting yourself feel for the first time since you were a small child, having lost your parents and now lost everything and everyone you’d ever known. But now, she could let go of that (pun partially intended). I still feel chills watching her send her power out into the world, fearlessly running up that staircase, knowing without a doubt that she can continue it as far as she wants to go, stomping on the ground and creating a huge snowflake with a thunderous smash. Rising up in the center of this huge structure, a tiny figure in control of it all. And then she threw her crown away, rejecting the rules and expectations that had been forced upon her. She let her hair out of its tightly restrained style and sensuously ran her hand over it, ice-burned off the restrictive clothes she’d been required to wear as Queen, and instead gave herself a light, clingy yet comfortable-looking dress that showed off her body, and a cape to make sure everyone knew how much power she had. She was still a Queen, but she was now the queen of herself, no more and no less.

This was the opposite of the song I was expecting. She didn’t crumple in despair. She didn’t sentence herself to living in a cave. She certainly didn’t think, “I have nothing to live for now, maybe I should just kill myself.” She built herself a palace that a hundred men couldn’t build, as the song Frozen Heart echoes in the movie. She raised herself up to the top of the tallest mountain. She belted out, her voice fragile yet transcendent in its power (hail Queen Idina). She reveled in her power and her body, its movements, its feeling, its appearance. She no longer moved like a girl. She now moved more like a woman. She wasn’t controlled and graceful with every step, but she was powerful with every step. She showed aggression with her stomping and forcefully flinging ice into the air, throwing her crown away. She showed how easy it was for her as she built a huge palace in minutes. She showed the strength and the delicacy of her powers with the thick turrets and the intricate chandelier. She didn’t worry about making her movements feminine, but when she was in the dress that she made for herself, the one that came straight from within her and thus represented her better than any other piece of clothing could, she let her hips move like a woman’s. She didn’t sexualize herself, but she didn’t desexualize herself. She just was. She was a full, complex human being, and she was pure joy and power.

Just these two songs probably would have done it for me. I was hooked on the sisters, especially Elsa – she’s more my kind of character (I like the dark and sexy ones). But I wasn’t at all expecting the ultimate thesis of the movie, which is that true love can be a platonic relationship between two women. Romance and sex and men don’t have to be involved. The love two women hold for each other can be just as strong. Anna and Elsa sacrifice themselves for each other over and over again. Their stories revolve around each other, and in the end, it’s the love between them that saves not only their lives, but their whole queendom. And not only did the act of true love not need to involve a man, but it was in opposition to two men – Anna defended her sister from Hans while also rejecting the love she shared with Kristoff in favor of her love for Elsa.

Seeing something like this in anything would have been great, but this was Disney. One of the greatest upholders of social norms. The major corporation that has, for almost a century, reflected and shaped our cultural attitudes. If Disney of all companies was making a movie about two powerful, complex women whose relationship is the focus of the story, who actively reject men in favor of each other, what did this mean for our culture? It meant that we had come very, very far since The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast, just a couple decades before. Anna and Elsa didn’t have to give up their voices to achieve what they wanted. They didn’t fall in love with and forgive men who abused them. The story had nothing to do with how physically attractive either of them were. A brief speculation from one of the attendants of the ball about the beauty of the princesses is all there is, and it’s immediately contradicted by the narrative showing us Anna asleep in a very non-feminine position, hair wild and tangled, drooling. But at the same time, the narrative doesn’t tell us that Anna and Elsa are ugly. When the men start objectifying the women for their attractiveness, the narrative quickly shuts them up by pointing out that they’re people just like everyone else. They’re not always perfect and beautiful, but that also doesn’t mean they’re not attractive.

Later, I found a clip of Let It Go on youtube, and I watched it countless times. When I was alone in the house, and I started singing Let It Go to myself, I would burst into tears, because I felt what Elsa felt. That loss, that rejection from the world, but also the relief of accepting that you will never be what the world wants you to be. But also, the willingness to move forward with that knowledge, to live your life as you and to see where it takes you, since living your life as what society wants you to be has failed. I wasn’t ready to fully internalize that message and start living by it, or even trying to live by it, but it put that seed in my head. It gave me Elsa’s voice, Idina’s voice, echoing in the back of my mind, singing about her power. Celebrating it.

And this was our culture as a whole supporting that. Of course people on Fox and the like complained about the movie being anti-man and showing that men are either stupid or evil. (Really, who got the idea that Kristoff is stupid? He’s the one who guides Anna through the woods and he’s often the One Sane Man. But even besides that, yes boys, feels pretty rotten to have your whole sex reduced to a false dichotomy, doesn’t it?) But to me, that was a good thing. It showed that Disney of all things was pushing boundaries. If no one was offended by it, it wouldn’t be revolutionary. And amidst that, Frozen was the most successful animated movie of all time. I pretty much couldn’t leave the house without seeing a little girl, or even the occasional boy, with some Frozen merchandise. Those little girls were internalizing the messages that Elsa and Anna sent: You are strong. You are complicated. You are allowed to be imperfect. Your love doesn’t have to be romantic to be true. The things that others fear about you are often the best parts of you. The boys were learning these things about women, too, and sometimes identifying with them the way that I identified with male characters as a child. They were all receiving those messages, and so was I. I was much older than them, already through a lot of my development, but I still idolized powerful female characters just as much.

And that’s the thing about me, personally. I’ve never liked female characters for their beauty or their kindness or their dutifulness. I have always liked the ones who are powerful. And that’s where it stops. All I want in a female character is power. That’s why Azula was up there with Katara for me, and ultimately a little more inspiring to me than Katara was. I didn’t care that Azula was evil. At least she was in charge of herself. At least she had the power to command people and get what she wanted, and she never, ever apologized for it. Katara and Toph and Suki, the good female characters, were similar, but they routinely lost some of that power due to the accidental misogyny that was still prevalent in that show. They were strong while being kind, but their kindness could also be a weakness. That was never the case for Azula. Azula never compromised her own goals for the sake of anyone else. She never had to apologize for her anger and aggression or for shutting people out, like Katara and Toph did. She was never reduced to somebody’s girlfriend, like Suki and Katara were. She was in charge of her own story, she knew what she wanted, she had the power to overcome almost anyone, she knew she was powerful and reveled in it, she commanded respect from others, and she never let a man control her.

But she was evil. Her unyielding, unapologetic determination and power came at the cost of her morals. She never apologized or hated herself for losing her temper because she was a bad person, not because she accepted herself as a flawed human who’s allowed to defend herself or call other people out when they’re being jerks to her.

And in a choice between being good and being in charge of yourself, when I let go of my intellectual morals, I will always choose to be in charge of myself. If someone wants to take away my power, then they don’t deserve my kindness. That was the choice I, and every other girl, was presented with as a child. Be kind or be powerful.

The movie didn’t make Elsa choose – it let her be both. The musical adaptation made her choose.

Everything that the movie had done, every message it had sent to us girls and women, was negated. Let It Go is now disproven – now, after singing “let the storm rage on” in the first act, Elsa then sings “[what if when I’m gone] the storm rages on?” She realizes that empowerment is actually evil. Letting yourself be free and wild only feels like a good idea in the moment. Then the men come to take back control of you, marching up to your castle with their murderous weapons, to put you back in your cage, and you remember that you’ve been a bad girl and need to pay. And of course, she sings this while contemplating suicide – because she did a bad thing, so she should probably die, right?

The Duke now makes a long, pointed speech to Elsa about her being the most beautiful queen he has ever seen, describing how ugly other female royals he’s met have been. Now, the show makes sure that we know our heroines have the most important trait for a female character – beauty.

They made Elsa a one-dimensional mess of self-loathing and poor judgement. She’s wrong to sing Let It Go, because actually, you shouldn’t let the storm rage on. They directed Caissie to speak in a breathy voice, not to stand too straight, not to face people head on too often. Whereas movie Elsa spoke with an assured power, no matter where she was in her journey, and stood straight and tall and looked people in the eye, stage Elsa is a timid mouse. She doesn’t seem to believe in her power as queen, while movie Elsa always remembered that she was queen. They took away her sense of humor. She’s no longer mischievous. She doesn’t giggle and send Anna off to dance with the Duke with a twinkle in her eye. Instead, she stands there, flustered by a man speaking to her, and it’s Anna who cleverly saves Elsa from the Duke’s annoying comments. Which is ironic, because, in the stage show, Anna then becomes the stupid one who needs endless rescuing as soon as Kristoff shows up to put her on a leash and drag her to her beloved sister, who she keeps forgetting about in favor of dancing naked for no apparent reason.

Years later, watching the movie, I still feel those feelings I had the first time. The adoration for the sisters and their relationship and the way the men are portrayed. In this world, it’s important to let girls know that they can’t trust every man they meet, that their loyalties need to lie with each other, first and foremost, and that they can and should trust themselves and their own power.

We won’t be hearing any men complaining about the stage show. They’ll probably see it as an improvement.

The saddest part of all this is that so many women like this new version better. Specifically, that they think Elsa is more relatable now. Because most adult women can relate to feeling suicidal guilt over letting themselves have something of their own.

But little girls can’t relate to that. They haven’t had time to fully internalize the messages of our culture. The movie showed them, while they were still young and developing their sense of self and understanding of the world, that they could be real, complex people and they could have bodily functions and they could use their bodies however they wanted. The stage show stops that in its tracks.

It’s like the creators of the movie were trying to send a completely different message than the one most people got. It’s like they noticed that everyone was seeing it as a female empowerment story, when what they meant to show us was a story about “family.” I’m increasingly noticing how often “family” is used to mean that women aren’t important, it’s the husbands/fathers who are important. And now the word “family” is what is beat into our heads in the Frozen adaptation. Not the word “sister.” “Family.”

I suppose I got complacent over the Obama years. I was 12 when his administration took over. Now, at 21, the real world has come crashing back in. I used to think Obama’s election was an infallible sign of progress. Now I think it was more along the lines of a lucky coincidence. Things clearly haven’t actually changed. We have a known rapist for a president.

Then again, maybe women will win out in the end. After all, we really voted for Hillary.

    In honor of Elsa and Anna pre-bastardization by the stage show, here are some real-life women who are both good and powerful.

Malala Yousafzai (human rights activist and youngest Nobel Prize Laureate), Oprah Winfrey (built her own media empire), Martha Stewart (built her own corporate empire) and Benazir Bhutto (former prime minister of Pakistan/first female leader of a democratic Muslim majority nation)

Stephenie Meyer (misunderstood author of bestselling novels about being a woman), Carol Adams (author of highly influential books on the intersections between non-human rights and women’s rights such as The Sexual Politics of Meat), Taylor Swift (singer-songwriter, outspoken about her sexual assault, donated all proceeds from one of her music videos to help African animals) & Lena Dunham (creator, producer, star, writer and director of Girls, first woman to win the Directors Guild of America Award for Outstanding Directing – Comedy Series, best-selling author, confident bearer of a body that isn’t a size 2), Venus & Serena Williams (Venus is a hugely successful tennis player despite having a chronic illness and successfully fought for equal pay for female tennis players, both are largely vegan, Serena, besides being arguably the greatest female tennis player of all time, does extensive charity work and has her own fashion lines).

  Starhawk (author of many books on Goddess traditions and nature religion, longtime activist and teacher), Ellen Degeneres (vegan, animal rights activist, one of the first female celebrities to come out as a lesbian), Hillary Clinton (honorary President of the United States), Meghan Murphy (founder of the blog Feminist Current, endlessly insightful radical feminist, lover of dogs)

  Jane Goodall (gave us our understanding of chimps and primates, animal rights and environmentalism activist), Koko (gorilla who has been an experiment her whole life, believer in environmentalism and human stupidity, learned to speak English and communicates with people through a modified version of American Sign Language, mother of many kittens, representative of all of the female animals who have given their lives in the name of science and human safety), Francesca “Fannie” (one of the oldest of the Metawitches chickens, survivor of a serious dog attack, food and excitement enthusiast, layer of small eggs despite being the largest chicken, lover of pecking human body parts in an endless quest to find more food, in honor of all of the exploited female animals used as livestock who are never named and appreciated by those who use them and their children)

Role Models for Girls: The Good, the Evil, and the Frozen Or, Why Do Little Girls have to Choose Between Being Good and Being Powerful? I was never much for Disney princesses growing up.