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elvendara · 4 years

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March Madness 2021

AKA Yooran Month

March 7th

Something I wrote for the Werewolf Choi Twins AU that happens after the ending of “The Pack”.

Saeran watched the clock and wiped his hands on his pants again. He was nervous. More nervous than he had ever been. He shouldn’t be, but what if…no…he wouldn’t think about that. Yoosung would be home soon and he had to look busy. Normal. Nothing out of the ordinary! Grabbing a random book from the shelf he sat on the sofa and opened it up. It took a few minutes before he realized it was upside down. Stupid! The clock was agonizingly slow!

When he heard the key in the door he began to tremble. Closing his eyes he employed a breathing technique to calm himself. By the time Yoosung entered the apartment, he was once more calm.

“Hey!” Yoosung called out cheerily. Saeran turned and smiled at his boyfriend. He looked tired, as always, but Saeran loved that Yoosung’s face still lit up when he saw him. It made him feel special.

“Hey!” he echoed. Yoosung’s grin widened as he dropped his bag on the floor by the door and kicked off his shoes. Saeran’s eyebrow lifted at the sight and Yoosung, with a sigh, bent over and placed the shoes neatly against the door with an exaggerated eye roll. Saeran berated himself, the last thing he wanted to do was start an argument, especially about shoes and neatness. They were just not on the same wavelength when it came to orderliness. Saeran liked things neat and tidy while Yoosung seemed to be followed by chaos wherever he went. Really it wasn’t so bad, and Saeran didn’t mind being the tidy one. Honestly, Yoosung had changed many of his habits to try and compromise with Saeran. Now, most of the chaos was contained in Yoosung’s side of the bedroom and the kitchen, which, was still very much Yoosung’s domain.

“Better?” Yoosung asked but he didn’t sound surly, just amused. Saeran breathed a sigh of relief.

“Sorry, I know it’s stupid…”

“Don’t say that, it’s not a big deal to set my shoes neatly on the mat. I’ll get it.” Yoosung laughed and sat on Saeran’s lap, displacing the book in his hands. Saeran set the book down and wrapped his arms around Yoosung.

“Well, why don’t I reward you for being so diligent.” Saeran teased.

“Reward? What kind of reward?” Yoosung’s eyebrows wiggled and he set his forehead against Saeran’s.

“Not that kind, at least not right now.” Saeran smirked and Yoosung pouted, pulling away and looking into Saeran’s mint green eyes. “I was thinking that since you have a day off tomorrow, we could order in and play some LOLOL.”

“Really?” Yoosung’s tiredness seemed to flee as he became animated and excited.

“Yes, really, why don’t you go boot up the laptops while I place the order.”

“OK.” Yoosung jumped up, as he made his way into the bedroom huridly, Saeran slapped him on the butt. “Hey!” Yoosung tossed over his shoulder but didn’t slow down at all.

Saeran smiled as he watched his boyfriend eagerly run into the bedroom. This was it. He held his breath and stood. Too late to back out now, even if he wanted to. He pulled his phone from his back pocket and hit the saved number. They ordered regularly from the Thai place down the street. As soon as he said his name the person on the other end asked if it was the usual, Saeran chuckled and said yes, but added a desert.

“Ah, romantic dinner yes?”

“Something like that.” Saeran said.

“OK OK, twenty minutes.”

“Thank you.” Saeran hung up and grabbed some PhD Pepper’s from the fridge. As he walked into the bedroom he saw that Yoosung had indeed booted up both their laptops, set up side by side. It was a little tight in the bedroom, he much preferred his own room at Saeyoung’s, but when Yoosung was with him, it felt more like a cozy comfort.

It was hard living away from the pack, but it was temporary, until Yoosung finished his clinicals and was able to find a permanent job. This was just closer and easier on Yoosung. They had had some complaints about the noise they created when they had sex, but Saeran didn’t think there was anything they could do about that. It was what it was and things often got a little crazy between them.

“What is that smile for?” Yoosung asked, eyes narrowing.

“Nothing, just…remembering the last complaint we had about the noise.” He laughed.

Yoosung blushed but didn’t comment, taking the offered can and opening it. Saeran leaned over him and kissed his exposed neck. It was one of Saeran’s favorite places to nibble on his boyfriend, whether he was in wolf form or human form. He was just so tasty!

“Stop! Don’t start something you aren’t prepared to finish!” Yoosung chastised.

“You’re right, this is about having some fun and destressing.” He plopped down on his own chair and opened the game watching it load. Yoosung sighed loudly but Saeran ignored him. “Food should be here in twenty.” He said instead.

“Fine. Where did you order from?” Yoosung’s fingers flew over the keyboard as his character appeared on his screen, already checking his guild to see if there were any worthwhile raids they could join.

“Thai Orchadee, the usual.” Saeran said.

“Great! I love that place, did you get me some Thai tea?” Yoosung asked.

“Of course I did. Do I know my man or do I know my man?” he smirked.

“You do indeed!” Yoosung lunged at him and planted a sugary kiss on his lips. He was intoxicating, suddenly he could feel the animal part of him respond biologically, his cock getting hard, his mouth salivating, his nails growing into claws eager to leave their marks on Yoosung’s skin. He calmed himself, using the same breathing exercises. Thankfully Yoosung was back to staring at his screen.

When Saeran’s character loaded he checked his inventory, though nothing had changed from the last time they’d played, it was just something to keep his hands busy. He organized and reorganized his inventory, opening all his bags and checking the bags on his mount as well. He wanted to go into the house he and Yoosung had bought together, pooling their money to be able to afford it, but he couldn’t, not yet.

“Looks like there’s a couple of raids going on tonight, I think we should join the Apocalypse raid. It’ll take most of the night, but the gear is worth it. Plus, there’s a chance of getting a rare decoration for the house. What do you think?” Yoosung asked.

“Sounds good.” Saeran answered absently. “Uh, when does it start?” he was nervous it would start too soon, and he would have to wait until after it was over to do what he wanted to do.

“Not for another hour and a half looks like, but that’s not enough time to do anything else, maybe we can just do some dungeons until then?”

“Yeah, we can do that, but uh, let’s wait for the food first, I’m kinda hungry.”

“Kinda? You’re always ravenous!” Yoosung poked Saeran’s belly, though no matter how much he ate, it was still as hard as a rock. Yoosung sometimes pouted at how easy it was for Saeran to stay fit. He couldn’t help it, his werewolf metabolism always worked overdrive no matter how sedentary he happened to be. His stomach decided to growl just to prove the point.

Yoosung rolled his eyes and laughed. They spent the time waiting for their food trying on different outfits and changing their character’s hairstyles and colors.

“I like that one!” Yoosung said as Saeran played around with his eyes and hair colors. Sure enough Yoosung always preferred red hair and mint green eyes on his character, go figure. Saeran grinned but kept the colors. He’d tried changing, but Yoosung always frowned when he saw his character.

“I’ll get it.” Yoosung jumped out of his chair when the doorbell rang, he was back with their food in no time. Having set it down, he went back into the kitchen for more drinks, Saeran already had the plates out when he came back.

“Smells amazing.” He said.

“It sure does.” Yoosung agreed.

As they ate, Saeran asked Yoosung about his day. There was always something humerous that happened, and when he talked about the dogs Yoosung would go all starry eyed. Saeran had often thought about getting a dog, but he wasn’t sure how it would behave around werewolves, not to mention a werecat. He made a mental note to ask MC how she would feel with a dog in the house. Either way, Yoosung was too busy to really enjoy a dog at the moment, besides, he had him if he ever wanted a warm cuddle.

“You know, I forgot to tell you, I bought some new things for the house. Want to redecorate while we wait?” Saeran asked when they finished their dinner.

“Really? That’s great, oh, did you get that loft? I’d love to add another story to the house.”

“No, nothing that big, just some new decorations, mostly for the walls.”

“OK.” Yoosung took both their plates and tossed them into the garbage in the kitchen. When he returned they both teleported to the front of their house and entered. It was very cozy, they had bought a fireplace and had a deep red rug in front of it. The furniture was made out of wood and looked comfortable to sit on. There was of course bookcases lining most of the walls, Saeran’s idea, he liked how they looked.

“Why don’t you take down the items over the fireplace, I want to put the new ones on that wall.”

“Will do.” Yoosung obeyed immediately and Saern’s fingers hovered over his keys, this was it. “Uh, what are you waiting for?” Yoosung urged after several seconds.

“Right.” Saeran took a deep breath and began to toggle the items onto the wall in a semi-circle. It hadn’t been easy to get the items into the game and he’d had to ask Saeyoung for help. Only because he wanted it done fast.

Yoosung’s eager smile slipped from his face as he watched on his own screen what was popping into view as Saeran hung the décor. He blinked…his mouth fell open…then tears sprang to his eyes. The words took his breath away, from left to right, in a semi-circle above the fireplace Saeran had placed round wooden plaques, each with a single word on it. Will…You…Marry…Me…Yoosung. His heart trembled, his hands fluttering to his breast, covering his heart and the tears fell. He slowly turned towards Saeran, who was sliding off the chair and kneeling on the floor in front of him with an open ring box that held two titanium rings.

“I know you’ve already become my mate, with all that it entails. I hope you’ll say yes to becoming my husband and marrying me, making me happier than I have any right to be.”

“Say yes!” “Yeah!” “Woot woot!” a cacophony of whistles and hoots and encouragement sprang from Saeran’s headset and he grinned to see the astonished look on Yoosung’s face.

“I thought you’d want your friends and family share this moment.”

“F…family?” Yoosung stuttered.

“We’re here too Yoosung, me and your father.” His mother’s voice rang through the speakers as Saeran unplugged his headphones.

“Me too little brother! You’re crying right now, aren’t you?” His sister Yasmine laughed. More laughter rolled through the air as Yoosung gulped.

“Say yes already! I’m ready to pop the champaign!” Saeyoung chuckled, MC’s laughter ringing through the speakers as well.

“I…Oh my God! I…YES! Yes!” His emotions were thrumming through his body. He felt he might pass out with the intensity of it. It wasn’t that it was such a surprise, of course this is where their relationship was headed. It was how thoughtful and incredibly well Saeran had planned this to hit just the right note of sincerity and romance.

There was a jubilation streaming through the internet that didn’t even come close to matching what he was feeling inside. Saeran’s smile split his face and he looked happier than Yoosung had ever seen him before. He rose to his feet and pulled Yoosung up from his chair. Setting the ring box on the desk he pulled out one ring and caressed Yoosung’s arm, sliding his fingers down to his hand and placing the ring on his finger with such reverence it pierced Yoosung’s heart with such love it might explode.

“I love you.” He whispered.

A symphony of “Aww’s” and crying filtered through the internet, bathing them in soft comfort and familial warmth. Yoosung blushed but kept his mentality enough to place the other ring on Saeran’s finger, caressing his hand and feeling the importance of this moment.

“I love you too.” He gazed into his boyfriends…fiance’s…eyes, then moved slowly to press his lips against Saeran’s, sealing their promise.

“Hey, anyone else wondering about the whole “mate” thing?” someone from their guild asked.

#my posts #Yooran #werewolf choi twins au #Yoosung Kim #Saeran Choi #mysme #mystic messenger #march madness 2021 #march 7th #yooran month

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flirting-with-psychology · 4 years

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1. I own a ferret. 2. My best friend is my boyfriend 3. My best friend is a girl 4. I use the word super way too much 5. I am a boy 6. I like My Chemical Romance 7. I own more than 100 CDs 8. I like discussing politics 9. I collect state quarters 10. The Legend of Zelda is my favorite video game. 11. I have Cingular 12. I love MAC makeup 13. I smoke too much 14. I own more than 5 bandanas 15. My favorite movie is Kill Bill 16. I watched Lamb Chop when I was young 17. I have my ears gauged 18. I can do HTML without guidance 19. I watch Spongebob Squarepants regularly. 20. I go to the movies at least once a week 21. I play guitar or bass 22. I love Elvis 23. I’ve had a mo/bi/trihawk before 24. I have met my favorite band 25. I like to hardcore dance 26. Something’s outside my window 27. I believe in ghosts 28. I do drugs regularly 29. I am straightedge 30. My favorite feature about myself is my lips 31. I have never consumed alcohol 32. I want a tattoo. 33. My favorite actor is Will Ferrell. 34. I have seen Conan O'Brien live. 35. I hate MTV 36. I used to watch Cheaters every week 37. I have my own vaccuum 38. Frank Sinatra is awesome 39. I sleep with a stuffed animal 40. I am scared of werewolves 41. I watch hockey regularly 42. I am originally from New York 43. I own an iPod 44. Some people aren’t funny. 45. I hate school. 46. My favorite vegetable is lettuce. 47. Tickle fights are fun. 48. I am currently unemployed. 49. I have my license 50. I hate spelling mistakes 51. I love Spanish class 52. I live in a big city 53. I have been to the Grand Canyon 54. I listen to music to fall asleep 55. I watch TV to fall asleep 56. I only get a few hours of sleep each night 57. I’m relatively innocent. 58. I am a size 3 or smaller 59. I’m bored. 60. Purple is my favorite color. 61. I hate flossing 62. I have a car. 63. I believe in God 64. I’m in love. 65. I used to love Unwritten Law. 66. Reno 911 is my favorite show. 67. There is a mini stapler on my computer desk. 68. Cuddling’s my favorite. 69. For sure. 70. I have a flip phone 71. I love my handwriting 72. I own a Louis Vuitton handbag 73. I want to be an astronaut. 74. I love the song Dragostea Din Tei 75. 50 Cent is not talented 76. I like scanners better than digital cameras. 77. I own at least one Punk-O-Rama CD 78. My room is sound proof. 79. I’m 5'5 or less 80. Lying pisses me off 81. I backstab people. 82. I have been in a fist fight. 83. I have PaintShop Pro. 84. It’s almost midnight 85. My nightlight is cracked 86. I only listen to Dashboard Confessional when I’m sad 87. And I feel like a pansy when I do so 88. I hate metal 89. I’m in a band. 90. Napoleon Dynamite is annoying now. 91. I love hickeys 92. I want to lose weight 93. My favorite channel is the Food Network. 94. I don’t have a CD burner. 95. Pixar is stupid except for the Incredibles 96. I own an apartment/house 97. I am engaged. 98. My computer’s a Gateway. 99. I hate driving. 100. I like watching boys sleep. =========================== 01. I miss someone right now 02. I don’t watch much TV these days 03. I love olives 04. I love sleeping 05. I own lots of books 06. I wear glasses or contact lenses 07. I love to play video games 08. I’ve tried marijuana 09. I’ve watched porn movies 10. I have been in a threesome 11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship 12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy 13. I have acne free skin usually 14. I like and respect Al Sharpton 15. I curse frequently 16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year 17. I have a hobby 18. I’ve been told I can suck the chromes off a trailer hitch. 19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me 20. I’m smart 21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones 22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal 23. I hate the rain 24. I’m paranoid at times 25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scars. 26. I need money right now! 27. I love Sushi 28. I talk really, really fast sometimes 29. I have fresh breath in the morning 30. I have semi-long hair 31. I have lost money in Las Vegas 32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister 33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. 34. I shave my legs 35. I have a twin 36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past 37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D. 38. I like the way that I look sometimes 39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months 40. I know how to do cornrows 41. I am usually pessimistic 42. I have a lot of mood swings 43. I think prostitution should be legalized 44. I think Britney Spears is hot 45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past 46. I have a hidden talent 47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. 48. I think that I’m popular 49. I am currently single 50. I have kissed someone of the same sex 51. I enjoy talking on the phone 52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants 53. I love to shop. 54. I would rather shop than eat 55. I would classify myself as ghetto. 56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders 57. I’m obsessed with my Livejournal 58. I don’t hate anyone. 59. I’m a pretty good dancer 60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington 61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother 62. I have a cell phone 63. I believe in God/ a higher being. 64. I watch MTV/Vh1 on a daily basis 65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months 66. I love drama. 67. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before 68. I’ve rejected someone before 69. I currently have a crush on someone 70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life 71. I want to have children in the future 72. I have changed a diaper before 73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before 74. I bite my nails 75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club 76. I’m not allergic to anything 77. I have a lot to learn 78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger 79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie 80. I am sometimes shy around the opposite sex 81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message 82. I have at least 5 away messages saved 83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before 84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past 85. I own the “South Park” movie 86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal 87. When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum 88. I enjoy some country music 90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza 91. I watch soap operas whenever I can 92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist 93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career 94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all 95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story” 96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy 97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it 98. I have dated a close friend’s ex 99. I’m happy as of this moment 100. I was born in the 80s but I am truly a child of the 90s 101. I have slapped john dasaro and chris burke in the face..on the same night 102. I haven’t showered in two days… and I like it. 103. i own every f***er here 104. I procrastinate all the time 105. I’m a nerd 106. I LOVE the movie The Wedding Singer. 107. i hate corn. 108. i’ve attended the rocky horror picture show 109. i’ve never seen Bambi the movie 110. Thinking about the future terrifies me 111. Without music there would be no point in living. 112. If I could change one thing about myself I would 113. If someone of the same sex liked me, I would date them. 114. I went to the mall today for 5 hours ================================ Would do Have Done

001. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 002. Swam with wild dolphins 003. Climbed a mountain *004. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 005. Been inside the Great Pyramid 006. Held a tarantula. *007. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 008. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it. 009. Hugged a tree *010. Done a striptease 011. Bungee jumped *012. Visited Paris 013. Watched a lightning storm at sea *014. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise several times *015. Seen the Northern Lights 016. Gone to a huge sports game 017. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa *018. Grown and eaten your own vegetables *019. Touched an iceberg *020. Slept under the stars 021. Changed a baby’s diaper 022. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon *023. Watched a meteor shower *024. Gotten drunk on champagne *025. Given more than you can afford to charity 026. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 027. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 028. Had a food fight 029. Bet on a winning horse 030. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 031. Asked out a stranger 032. Had a snowball fight 033. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 034. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 035. Held a lamb 036. Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one *037. Taken a midnight skinny dip 038. Taken an ice cold bath 039. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 040. Seen a total eclipse 041. Ridden a roller coaster 042. Hit a home run 043. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 044. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking *045. Adopted an accent for an entire day 046. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 047. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment *048. Had two hard drives for your computer *049. Visited all 50 states 050. Loved your job for all accounts *051. Taken care of someone who was really sick *052. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 053. Had amazing friends 054. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country *055. Watched wild whales 056. Stolen a sign 057. Backpacked in Europe *058. Taken a road-trip 059. Rock climbing 060. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice *061. Midnight walk on the beach 062. Sky diving *063. Visited Ireland 064. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 065. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them *066. Visited Japan 067. Bench pressed your own weight 068. Milked a cow 069. Alphabetized your records 070. Pretended to be a superhero 071. Sung karaoke 072. Lounged around in bed all day 073. Protested something you feel strongly against 074. Scuba diving *075. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 076. Kissed in the rain 077. Played in the mud 078. Played in the rain *079. Gone to a drive-in theater 080. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret *081. Visited the Great Wall of China 082. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 083. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 084. Started a business 085. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 086. Toured ancient sites 087. Taken a martial arts class 088. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 089. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight *090. Gotten married 091. Been in a movie 092. Crashed a party 093. Loved someone you shouldn’t have *094. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 095. Gotten divorced 096. Started an office war 097. Gone without food for 5 days 098. Made cookies from scratch 099. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert" 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Made out in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark *113. Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself *114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie *116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved all of your hair off *120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in theatre 125. Read - and understood - your credit report *126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy *128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour *129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a TV game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being *151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Ridden on a passenger train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states *165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime *173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one "important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt *187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair blue 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested ====================== 1. I have self-mutilated before. 2. I still love the song Dragostea Din Tei 3. I used to like New Kids on the Block 4. The 80s was funny. 5. I have realtones enabled on my cellular phone. 6. Public bathrooms scare me 7. I have keys on my belt 8. I’m not wearing a belt 9. I hate writing 10. I hate reading 1. I love compilation CDs 12. My favorite teachers have all been guys 13. I think Bad Religion’s only been around for ten or so years 14. I don’t know who Bad Religion is. 15. I don’t wear my hood unless it’s raining 16. I enjoy smaller clubs rather than big ones 17. I’ve put a song on repeat for more than 8 hours 18. I have sound on my computer 19. Someone wants my hiney. 20. My mom loves Elvis 21. I have my own computer 22. I live on the east coast 23. My favorite animal is a kangaroo 24. I’m on vacation 25. I don’t own a pair of ripped jeans 26. I am very insecure somewhat 27. I love to dance 28. I curse way too much. 29. I choose the pansy way and star out my curse words (f*ck) 30. I feel dumb because I was just called a pansy 31. I have a flatscreen computer 32. I collect something. 33. I’m married 34. I won’t date someone who’s smaller than me smaller, as in also shorter? 35. Brass knuckles are the shit. 36. I own a hand puppet 37. I write with blue pens 38. I wear eye makeup almost every day 39. I wish I lived somewhere other than here 40. I don’t own a band shirt. Not yet anyway.. 41. I love techno. 42. I have my nipples pierced 43. I’m shitty at wrapping presents 44. I know someone in the KKK 45. I’m racist/anti-semitist. 46. I don’t know what those mean. 47. I love life most of the time 48. I have posters all over my room 49. I’ve never been a camera whore with someone.. And I want to. 50. I’m halfway done 51. I wish I lived in the 80s 52. I know what the term borgie means 53. I’m interested in social hierarchy. 54. I love music videos. 55. I have a DVD player 56. I’m drunk right now 57. I’m listening to music 58. I have a big screen TV 59. I have an STD 60. I know the singer of the Clash’s name 61. The only IM program I have is AIM 62. I skateboard regularly 63. I live on the north side of town 64. I have been to Alaska 65. I’ve worn a cowboy hat 66. I watch late night infomercials for retarded, unnecessary things 67. I LOVE DOING THE DEATH GROWL TO MY FAVORITE METAL SONGS. 68. That last question was dumb. 69. I know what the word “peligroso” means in English 70. I speak another language fluently 71. I’ve been in a limo 72. I own a bong 73. My lungs hurt 74. I know someone who’s committed suicide 75. I’ve got a six pack and I don’t need you! 76. I know what band sung the above line 77. I like strong boys. 78. I’m sick right now 79. I know someone who’s currently enlisted in the army 80. I do not own a color phone 81. My birthday is in September 82. I hate mall cops 83. I hate most cops in general 84. I’m wearing blush 85. I live in an apartment 86. I’m still in high school. 87. I own something from Victoria’s Secret 88. I don’t know a boy that wears girls pants 89. I’ve had the same best friend since I was 8. 90. Brownies are my favorite 91. So is cake 92. I’ve heard the song “Looks Good in Leather” 93. I own some sort of propaganda, fake or real 94. I deny the Holocaust happened 95. Kisses are my favorite sign of affection 96. I need to charge my phone 97. My purse could pass for a suitcase 98. I take birth control 99. I only buy what’s fashionable

1. I love bolding 2. I know someone named Mimi 3. I hate my old best friend 4. My favorite alcoholic drink is Jack n Coke 5. I have a digital camera 6. I’m talking to at least one person online 7. I like watching college basketball 8. I have never moved. 9. I have at least one cat 10. I have at least one dog 11. I’m going to see a movie tonight maybe 12. I make my own AIM icons 13. I’m in pain 14. I watch more than five shows a day 15. I love the Cure 16. My parents like some of the same music I do 17. I have never been to the dentist 18. I listen to the radio 19. I do my own laundry 20. I’ve made at least one article of clothing 21. I have/want something on my face pierced 22. I go to at least one concert a week 23. I’ve written a story 24. I’ve dyed my hair every color of the rainbow 25. I own a Grand Theft Auto game 26. My favorite pattern is camoflauge 27. I know someone who does/did cocaine 28. I have too many game systems 29. I love scary movies 30. I hate scary movies 31. I’ve had sex more than 5 times 32. My favorite chips are Lays Original 33. I think butter is unhealthy 34. I hate the Osbournes 35. I used to have dreadlocks 36. I need to take medicine for something 37. I suffer from insomnia 38. I speak ebonics 39. I’ve gambled 40. And won 41. I have at least one gay friend 42. I like going to pet stores 43. I own a dog toy 44. And I don’t have a dog 45. I own more than ten candles 46. I’ve smoked a cigarette in the shower before 47. I’ve flunked a class 48. I listen to music every day 49. I have more than one nickname 50. I wear pajamas when I feel like it 51. I’m wearing more than one jewelry item 52. I haven’t washed my hair in a week 53. I watch the Grammy’s every year 54. Along with the Macy’s Parade 55. My favorite season is winter 56. I have seen the All American Rejects live 57. And I’ve enjoyed it. 58. Boobs are nothing special 59. I go swimming at least once a week in summer. 60. I have a pool. 61. I’ve gone skinnydipping 62. I’ve played strip poker 63. And lost 64. I want a nautical star tattoo 65. My cell phone turns off when it’s charging 66. And it pisses me off 67. I used to buy my entire wardrobe from Hot Topic 68. I’ve been to albinoblacksheep.com 69. My favorite subject is History 70. And/or math 71. I am a republican 72. I am a democrat 73. I listen to the Used occasionally 74. I have been to the Warped Tour 75. I am part Mexican 76. I am part German 77. All of my grandparents are still alive. 79. I love bowling 80. I know that there is a South Park, Colorado 81. I love Dairy Queen 82. Sometimes I think I’m crazy 83. I own a Moffatts CD 84. I own a Backstreet Boys CD 85. I want plastic surgery 86. Operation, operation, snip and tie, snip and tie 87. I know what song that line is from 88. I have killed something [bugs!] 89. I’ve never had a Nokia cell phone 90. I’m never sarcastic 91. Light eyes turn me on 92. I have never been to a foreign country 93. I don’t eat enough 94. I own illegal weaponry 95. I know someone who has overdosed on something 96. And lived to tell about it 97. I don’t own a pair of mittens 98. I love the heat 99. I’ve never had a steady boyfriend/gf 100. I want to makeout.

#survey

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jackalopefreckles · 4 years

Text

I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.

A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours

my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)

I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.

My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.

They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.

I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.

I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.

My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.

Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.

I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.

It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.

I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.

Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.

I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.

I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)

Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??

Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos

My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)

I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how

#TIRED #happy covid anniversary #time to post this without reading it lmao #long post #rambles

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dragonrajafanfiction · 3 years

Text

Intruders

“I give! I give!”

The man’s voice rang out over the moans and cries of disbelief from the audience. Juan Salazar stood up immediately and backed away from the ma, back to his corner of the cage. He was handed a towel to wipe the sweat from his face and a bottle of water.

He turned and looked over his shoulder to where a muscular fighter was being helped off the ground by his crew.

His opponent could have fought better than he did. He didn’t know Juan, so he looked at the young man’s well built but unscarred body with the calculating air of someone who just wanted to ‘make this quick’. He was an experienced fighter and Juan wasn’t worth his time, but the money offered on this fight made it seem worth coming out to this forgotten corner of Chicago.

It should have warned him. Who puts down a million dollars on a single win unless they were certain they wouldn’t lose? But the other fighter had circled the ring leisurely, confidently. Juan had gone in like a snake, his legs swept under his with the power of a battering ram, and he bent his arm so far back it nearly dislocated his elbow. Now his coach was pale, turned his back to the scene, huddling and speaking in low tones with another man.

“Juan, hurry and go shower, I need you to be presentable for school.”

He immediately lowered his eyes. “Okay, Mama.”

In truth he was more experienced then the opponent was.

His early memories were in the boxing and wrestling ring, in the dojos. He was learning to fight people many times his size. His muscles ached every night and he felt exhausted. But after a short time, he stopped crying when he was hit and he stopped caring about if the other person was hurt.

It was his mother who set him on this path, but he didn’t think of his mother as a cruel woman. She had explained to him very clearly his situation. They had very little money. Even if he went to school, he wouldn’t be able to afford a university that could give him a good paying job. Why go to school if he was just going to work in a field and die penniless? But there was one way out that she knew of and that was Cassell College.

She told him he was very special but because of the civil unrest, she had to run away and he was deprived of his opportunity to go abroad. Gunshots and bodies in the streets were just a part of his life. But she could see it in his eyes. He was a demon in a world that needed demons. And she would raise him as a demon.

Cassell was a College that valued people like them. She said. He didn’t understand why, but he imagined that every student there was a monster just like he was.

In the shower, he picked up the shampoo bottle and mouthed the words on the label to himself, skipping the ones he couldn't decipher. He did something similar with all the words he encountered and little by little had developed a rudimentary literacy based on every day words. Unless someone got to know him, they wouldn’t know that he didn’t know how to read well.

That wasn’t unusual where he was from. Few people could go to school regularly. Schools were turned into refugee camps or makeshift hospitals. Children could learn but they were in large classes of mixed ages that made it hard to get the focus necessary to learn anything.

But it was easy to learn how to fight, how to use a gun, and how to kill.

The money earned from the prize fight today would pay his first year of tuition at Cassell plus lodging for himself and rent for his mother. The deposit they’d received from the opponent paid for his clothes. His mother laid them out for him. Jeans, a v-neck t-shirt with flannel button down over tit and navy colored sneakers. The fabric felt new and soft against his skin.

Next to that was a long, dark, cloak that he would wear for the convocation ceremony. The rest of his clothes would be delivered to his dorm.

He also had a backpack. It was black, made of leather with the name brand riveted to the side. He realized that despite being a young adult, he was having his first real day at school he could remember.

He grinned and butterflies filled his stomach. He’d seen children in school uniforms. The white shirts with dark blue jackets and black shoes. They always shined and stood out from the dusty and trash-littered streets. He did occasionally feel envy when he looked at them, wondering if school was really like the posters. If it was really a place where enthusiastic young faces eagerly raised their hands for acknowledgement from the teacher.

There were many places like this for him. Shopping malls, grocery stores, libraries, discos, theaters… these are places he had never been. He’d hear of them, but he was forever trapped in his mother’s home, driving or walking from place to place with an escort. His heart tugged at him to find a way to maybe sneak out and visit these places, but if something happened to him, his mother would be forever lost.

But now he was in Chicago. Perhaps now he could imagine going to see a movie, visiting a museum, or eating at one of the world-famous pizza restaurants.

But he kept all his dreams to himself. He was sure that little by little those experiences would come. His mother was right: fighting like a demon really did get him places.

When he was done dressing, his mother was waiting for him. Without a word, she turned and walked outside to where a car idle at the curb. His mother handed him a small envelope. “This is your ticket to the Cassell train.”

“You’re not coming with me?”

She shook her head. “This is only something you can do, mi’jo.” She then leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then she leaned in further and whispered fervently in his ear. “Your mother has done everything she can, but it won’t be enough for them. Nothing ever is. Those people there? They think they can get anywhere with their family name and their money, but not you. You have what it really takes. You have the blood and the body of a devil… a monster. That’s all that really matters. When they look at you and stop you… you do what you do best.”

She gripped his arms tight enough to leave imprints from her manicured nails. “You fight like your mama taught you.”

She gave his arm a pat and turned him around and shoved him toward the car. “You’ll do great honey!”

She’d gone from a fierce person to what appeared to be a normal mother waving her son off to school. Juan kept glancing back, but the sting of her nails told him that it wasn’t a mirage. He only had to do what she told him.

He got into the car and his eyes caught the sight of another pair of jeans and a midriff baring white shirt with a deep scoop neck that revealed a handsome cinnamon cleavage.

“Julia… what are you…”

“Surprise!” Even though she was in the car, she wore a wide brimmed straw hat and tiny lensed sunglasses that she dipped over her delicate nose. “Bet you didn’t know I was coming too!”

She held up a ticket for the train that would lead to Cassell College. “I wanted to keep it a secret. You should know I wouldn’t let you go anywhere without me by now… right?” She batted her big brown eyes at him as she crawled over the seat.

Juan immediately felt better about his day. No matter what happened, he was happy if Julia was by his side. They were the same age and shared the same birth month. While he was forbidden from making any relationships outside the home, for some reason, his mother allowed Julia to follow him throughout his life. It was only too easy to fall in love with her, since she seemed to be in love with him at first sight. When forbidden from seeing him, she poisoned the guards outside his house.

“Julia… this is no ordinary school. I hope you’re ready.” He pulled his seatbelt over his shoulder.

“Of course I’m ready. I’m not light weight and no matter what kind of school it pretends to be, they’re not ready for you. Come here. Let’s take a selfie.”

She pulled out a pink phone covered in many fake jewels and leaned over. Together they smiled for the camera. Then she looked at him. “Here, give me a kiss.”

The kiss started out sweet and just for show, but she pulled him close and soon the Uber driver got to enjoy a bit of romance as they hung onto each other, softly moaning in the back seat of his car. “Hey, just keep your clothes on…” He said.

Julia turned from him. “Hey! You keep your eyes on the road!”

“Shhh… hey, take it easy…” He turned her face back to him with one hand. “Relax.”

She trembled with fury. “He doesn’t have any right to tell me what to do. He should mind his own business.”

“This is his car and technically his business.” He reminded her.

Julia sat back, crossing her arms and pouting like a child. “You’re always so sweet and understanding. Me? No. If anyone comes between us, I’ll just rip their face off. Then see how much Mmm!”

He kissed her again, this time to silence her. “You’re going to get us kicked out of the car!” His hissed.

She just giggled. “If you kiss me like that again then it’ll be worth it.”

He sighed. “I guess then, it is okay that you’re coming.”

Juan made sure that he left an extra tip for his girlfriend’s mild death threat. Julia had already gotten out of the car and was stretching, her long muscular body attracting more than a few glances. “Hurry up slow poke!”

As soon as he stepped out of the car and saw the train station, Juan��s heart leaped into this throat. He’d never been in a train station or on a train before. And this station was cavernous and , bustling with hundreds of people. The schedule was nothing but a loud black board that somehow flipped with hundreds of letters with a loud clattering sound. But he couldn’t read any of them. How was he supposed to know where to go?

“Honey, don’t worry, I got this.” Julia gave him a kiss on the cheek and hurried to the nearest person. “Excuse me, I’m looking for this train!”

The man looked at her and her ticket and shook his head in confusion. “I’ve never seen that train in my life. It might be a special order one… uh…”

The man turned to another and showed him her ticket. But no one he asked knew about any train with this number on it.

“Why is everyone so dumb? Don’t you know about Cassell College?” Julia snatched her ticket back.

Juan looked around and saw two police officers looking at them and walked up to her. “Hey… keep your voice down. Don't’ start trouble.”

Julia rolled her eyes upward. But stopped yelling. “Look let’s just look for people who look like us waiting for a train. We’re not the only students starting, are we?”

“Good idea. But there’s hundreds of people here.”

“Let’s just look around. It’ll be like a tour!” She hooked her arm around his and smiled, once again seesawing from barely contained rage to a sweet girlfriend.

Together, they walked up and down the tracks, looking at the people and trying to find those their age. Several times they passed a bench where youngsters were gathering. They did look like they had money. One lay on the bench looking at a large black cellphone. The others stood around quietly. They all had backpacks that might signal they were students. When Juan and Julia approached, a few of them looked at them but then they ignored them.

Only when he looked down and spotted someone with an envelope that held the half wilted half alive tree did he realize they were on the right track. “Look there, I think this is it.”

“When does the CC1000 train get here?” Julia asked.

That turned their heads. Then one on his cellphone lowered it. Their receptions weren’t hostile, but they weren’t warm either. They just stared at her and looked her up and down.

Juan remembered what his mother said. The people here were rich and educated from good families. They wouldn’t accept him.

Julia just smiled brightly. “The name is Julia Mendez. And this is my boyfriend Juan. So don’t try to steal him alright?! He’s taken.”

Juan watched the other guys chuckle at that. For as crazy as she seemed sometimes, he wasn’t sure how he could get by without her more often than not. He was glad she was here.

“Sooo… when does the train get here I said?”

One finally answered, a dark haired young man already won over by Julia’s charm. “We’re not sure. It’s not a set schedule. But given the number of us here and the time... it won’t be long… in fact, I think that’s it right now.”

A train was pulling in, emblazoned with a custom paint job of the half dead tree. Julia clapped her hands and danced in place. “Sweet!”

She then ran back to Juan and grabbed his arm. “Hurry, get in line!” The other students were already making their way up to the platform. Juan felt his nervousness rise as it came to be their turn to get on.

The conductor looked them over in confusion. “And you are…”

“I’m Julia Mendez and this is Juan Salazar!” She held out her ticket.

The man took one look at it and his eyes narrowed. “I’m afraid your tickets are not valid and you are not permitted entry.”

“Not valid?! How can it not be valid?!” Her eyes went wide and Juan flinched. Her voice rose and she took a step forward. “I want to talk to your manager.”

“The train will be leaving now..”

Juan heard a ding-dong sound. Julia rushed forward to try to make it on the train before the doors closed. The conductor grabbed her arm. “Let go!” She shrieked. She grabbed him, kicked his legs out from under him and sent him to the concrete floor. Juan leaped forward as the doors were sliding shut and managed to get in just as they closed. Julia ran alongside, looking desperately at him. Her eyes filled with tears as the train went faster and faster.

“Julia!” He pressed his hands against the glass as she started to retreat from him.

“Hey! Stop the train! He’s not supposed to be on here!” Someone shouted.

Juan turned his head. The other students were ringing him, eyes narrowed. He quickly took stock. He was outnumbered. Part of him told him that he couldn’t take on five other students on his own. But another part of him had a different rationale.

There was a sermon in the Catholic church about how God created everyone, including all the animals. And that God wanted us to be kind, gentle, and gracious to others.

Juan had felt sad, thinking that, as a fighter, he could never live up to that ideal. As he walked out of the cathedral, a feather drifted in front of him. It was pearly white save a blood red blotch on the shaft.

In the tree above his head, a hawk had a pigeon in his talons. One of the black talons sank into the bird’s eye. The pigeon’s mouth was open and he could see it was still breathing as the hawk bent down and ripped its feathers from its back. It was a cruel, torturous scene. But God had created this merciless creature.

God had created Juan too.

He had allowed his opponent from earlier that day to dance round him and size him up a bit. He gave these students no such chance. He went from standing among them to immediately attacking the one near him, seizing his arm, twisting it behind him and using his as a shield to ram into his friend. The two fell in a heap over the luxurious subway seats.

Juan turned from them, raised his fist and in two strikes turned the next man’s face bloody.

The final opponent ran, diving for the train’s emergency brake. But the glass next to him shattered without any apparent reason. In swung Julia from the top of the train. Her heel collided with his head and he was knocked out, stunned on the floor.

“Quick! Let’s go to the front!” She grabbed his hand and together, they ran to the end of the train car towards the engine. The train was going full speed into a forested area and the sun turned dark under the trees. Juan yanked on the door and slid it open just as the engine uncoupled from the passenger car and an alarm began to blare. They leaped over the gap just in time to make it. The passenger car and the other students were left behind.

They looked towards the front of the engine through a window in the door. Someone had to be driving this thing, but they didn’t see a conductor. “Is this a self driving train or what?!”

“Intruder! Intruder alert!” A female electronic voice sounded. “Unauthorized entry will not be tolerated.”

“It’s moving faster!” The track ahead split into two, one leading to a tunnel, another leading to a dead end.

“Julia! Jump!”

The train veered onto the dead end track just as they leaped off and in a second there was a loud bang and the crunch of metal.

The two lovers held each other, out of breath, but then Juan got up, grabbed her hand. “Are you okay? Come on, let’s just follow the tracks! Go! Go!”

They ran into the dark of the tunnel. It lit up with many tiny electric eyes. “Keep going!”

There in the ceiling, turrets fired at them, following their movements! The shots were close, closer!

Juan’s eyes filled with a fiery golden glow. When his foot hit the ground, it was like a shockwave of a bomb going through it. The solid rock underneath heaved like a ripple on the surface of a pond. The shaking undid the mortar brick of the tunnel and it collapsed.

He glanced behind him and nodded. “We can’t follow the tracks. Let’s just go through the woods.”

----

“What do you mean, you lost them?” Professor Schneider and Vice President Flammel stood side by side facing the floating image of Norma.

“There is no radio signal in this area and they’ve destroyed the tunnel monitoring station.”

“Can we send out a scouting party?” Flamel blew smoke from his cigar.

“Send the scouting party to collect the injured students. I’ll send Zihang for the intruders.” Schneider picked up his phone.

Flamel’s eyes widened. “Deadly force? Really?”

Schneider nodded, zooming into the satellite image of the ruined tunnel. “They’re still outside the boundary of the suppressing zone. They’re dangerous. Have Adams follow him.”

-----

Julia laughed as they ran through the woods. “You know.. This is kind of romantic!”

“Only you would think that.” Juan muttered.

“I’m not wrong. Look at these trees. They’re so beautiful! Hey!” She craned her head up, heedless of tripping. “Do you think we’ll have to fight more once we get into the school? Do you think we’ll have to fight the whole school?”

Juan pressed his lips together. For the first time, he started to doubt his mother. Nothing about what happened back there suggested that what they were doing was expected by Cassell. Cassell seemed serious that they were not actually students. But it was too late now.

“Look! I think I see the buildings!” Julia pointed at the large spire of a church on a hill.

Odd. Chicago was normally flat land. Why were there such high hills in this place?

A shadow caught his eye. A person, running toward him. He was alone, armed with only a sword but he was fast, unnaturally so. Julia let go of his arm and retreated. But before either of them could make any more moves, the air around them grew suddenly unbearably hot, like they’d been shoved into an oven. The trees around them glowed and sent off embers and a low, demonic snarl filled their ears.

“Julia!” His eyes glowed and the ground rippled toward him, but the man took one jump to close the distance. Flying at him like a dark angel was a man with golden eyes. Had he not leaped out of the way, the man would have taken his head off as soon as he drew his blade.

Juan’s whole body felt scalded, but he didn’t mind the pain. He got up and caught the other man’s arm before he could strike him and slammed his forehead into his face. The man staggered back and he stepped forward to close the gap and seize his neck to take him down. He didn’t think, he didn’t have to. Years of training kicked in and he was fighting by rote muscle memory. In this state, Juan would only stop when his enemy stopped moving.

Together, they grappled in a deadly dance. Juan kept close quarters with him, slamming his elbow into chest, kneeing him again and again to get his enemy to yield, but this swordsman was like a bull, determined to stay close but unlike a bull there was no life in his eyes. It was more like fighting an android.

The man suddenly let go and stepped aside. Julia came up to strike him with a burning branch and he moved just in time to escape it. Julia brought it down on Juan instead. It snapped in half, and Juan went down, crying out.

Julia stood for a brief moment in horror at what happened. Juan… her beloved Juan… she’d hit him. He made her hit him! Her eyes turned to golden pools and she stared at this swordsman in intense rage. She opened her mouth and screamed in a voice reminiscent of a wild cat’s cry only longer and sustained.

The swordsman clapped his hands over his ears in pain at the sound, but it wasn’t sound that mattered to her. She could see the frequency at which the bones in his body would shatter, including the bones of his skull and her voice rose to match it! She only had one thing in mind. Kill this man. Kill this man!

She felt something strike her in the back and she turned, furious. A small toy robot was floating nearby. Her vision blurred and she stumbled. Something struck her again and she looked down. A strange red substance splashed on her chest. She looked over at Juan in growing mental confusion. Juan was already on the forest floor, a splash of red on his back.

“Shot me… it… it...s hot me…” The world spun as she collapsed.

#Meet my new babies #Dragon Raja Fanficton

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suitofvibraniumarmor · 4 years

Text

Boston Boys [Part Three]

Summary: After returning home from visiting family, Elsa becomes the victim of a bank robbery and kidnapping. Pairing: Chris Evans x OFC, John Krasinski x OFC Word Count: 2420 Chapter Warnings: language, bank robbery, kidnapping, guns. Square Filled: The entire series (bits and pieces of it) will fill my Crossover square for @marvelfluffbingo. A/N: This story contains a character who lost her hearing as she got older. I do work closely and regularly with the D/deaf community (I’m a sign language interpreter), but my own hearing problems do not involve significant hearing loss. It is not my intention to offend anyone, only to bring in a character with a quality I don’t see often in other fics. If you have questions about her, feel free to ask :)

Boston Boys Masterlist

The front door of the Manhattan penthouse opened; Elsa groaned and put a rush on finishing her makeup. Though it was her first night home in a while, she had hoped that she could avoid seeing her mother until breakfast the next day at the earliest. The staccato beat of heels clicking against the wood floor of the common parts of the place told Elsa she wasn’t going to be so lucky.

“I thought you weren’t coming in until tomorrow,” Margaret commented, inviting herself into Elsa’s room and kissing her daughter on the cheek.

Elsa scowled and wiped away the lipstick on her face. She touched up the foundation and powder there, then went back to choosing a lip color.

“I wasn’t expecting to,” Elsa lied, “but Brie and Ben are having a dinner get-together, so I thought I’d come into the city early. I’ll probably catch up with Brie afterwards.”

Margaret sighed as she inspected her newly-manicured nails. “Maybe she can talk you into coming home for good.”

Elsa dropped a lip gloss into her clutch and stood from the makeup table. “Let it go, Mother. I like Boston. I like the university, I like working at the bank. Why is it so horrible that in my mid-twenties --”

“Late twenties,” Margaret interrupted.

“Why is it so horrible that no matter my age, I want something different than what you thought my life was going to be? I appreciate every single thing that you and Dad have done for me. I appreciate every penny that you have poured and do pour into my education. Do I think it’s fair that you let Alexis and Daniel do whatever they wanted after undergrad and paid for it because they stayed in the city, but because I wanted out, I have to pay my own way outside of school? Absolutely not.” She sighed. “I’m not getting anywhere. My point is, Mother, that I’m happy. I like figuring life out for myself. Yeah, it’s rough sometimes, but I’m getting there. And I like it.”

Margaret shook her head. “You’ve had so many opportunities afforded to you, Elsa. I only wish you could see the potential in yourself that your father and I see in you.”

As her mother walked away, Elsa said nothing. This wasn’t the first time Margaret had deemed her daughter a disappointment, and Elsa was certain it wouldn’t be the last. Deciding not to dwell on it for the moment, she finished what she needed to do to be ready to meet her friends.

The dinner party was pleasant enough. Elsa was able to catch up with several friends she hadn’t seen in several months. She always enjoyed the time with the people she had grown up with, but the longer she was away, the more distant she felt from most of them. Only Ben and Brie seemed grounded enough from the posh New York lifestyle they had all grown up with to make Elsa feel like she was still part of the circle.

She was deep in thought over this while she helped Brie clean up. She was loading the dishwasher, but had been rinsing the same plate for a few minutes now.

Ben shooed her away. “You’re not really thinking about dishes, Els. You and Brie get a glass of wine and go talk. I’ve got this.”

Elsa gave him a grateful smile. She poured two glasses of wine, then went to find Brie putting the dining room back into its normal arrangement.

“Your husband said he’s got the rest, that we should talk.”

Brie smiled and accepted the glass of wine, then followed Elsa out to the balcony. Brie handed her a cigarette, put one between her own lips, then lit both of them. Smoke rolled from Elsa’s lips, followed by a sip of wine. She followed that pattern for a couple of minutes; smoke out, wine in.

“So, how’s Beantown? Really, I mean,” Brie asked. “Nevermind everything you told everyone else. Be real with me.”

“I’m always real with you,” Elsa chuckled. “Boston really is great. I love it there. The university is amazing. I actually like my job at the bank. I mean -- it’s not makeup and YouTube, but it gets me by.”

Brie laughed. “Shut up. I love what I do.”

“I know you do. You have a real passion for it. The thing is, I love what I’m doing. My passion is history and film, and I’m putting those together. The bank is getting me by, and I do like working there. I just … Margaret can’t keep her thoughts to herself, and it gets me thinking.”

“Oh, please,” Brie sighed, rolling her eyes, “please tell me your mother isn’t on her ‘you’re not living up to your potential’ bullshit again. Do you know how many people we just had dinner with who would kill to be in your position? To be out from under their parents, to be living their own lives? But they’re too scared to be without the money. They don’t have that potential, Elsa. You do.”

Elsa smiled at her friend. “Thanks, Brie. That helps.”

“Good. Now, let’s get down to the really important information.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Are you getting laid?”

Elsa laughed so hard, her wine spilled over onto her pants. She ran inside for some paper towels to mop it up, then was back out on the balcony, motioning for Brie to give her another cigarette. Once it was lit and she was back to her smoke and wine pattern, she sat back in the chair and shook her head.

“Not getting laid. Honestly, I don’t think about it that much. I’m focusing on school and work, you know? That keeps me busy enough.”

Brie shook her head. “All those beautiful Boston boys, and you’re not even taking advantage. I bet there’s a long line of them who would show up if they knew where you really came from.”

Elsa only shook her head. She had gone on dates with some guys from school, but nothing ever came from those outings -- and she was okay with that. She had other things to concentrate on.

After a bottle and a half of wine gone between the two of them, Elsa decided it was better to crash in the guest bedroom when they were ready to wind down. She’d hear it from her mother in the morning, but knowing her father would be there, laughing behind his daily Wall Street Journal print-outs made it all worth it.

The morning of the bank robbery, Elsa woke up before her alarm. She had slept better than she had in a while, being back in her own place in Boston. It used to be the reverse; she slept better in New York than anywhere else. Somewhere along the way, she guessed, Boston had become home.

She took the extra time to have breakfast, a cup of coffee, and take her time getting ready. She had been away from the bank for a week, and she wondered if the day would drag or go quickly back in her normal routine. She didn’t mind either way, she decided, since she was back to classes in the late afternoon as well.

When the masked, hooded group came into the bank, Elsa’s calm came to a screeching halt. There was yelling and screaming and crying -- so much was happening at once, but Elsa was stuck in her spot. All she could think about were the guns in their hands and the fact that it was her day with the code for the safe.

“Elsa! Elsa has the code!”

The words brought her back to the present as one of the men came towards her. He climbed over the counter; Elsa backed away from him, out of instinct.

“Are you Elsa?”

Fearing the words would be her last, she closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes.”

The man gestured towards the safe with his gun. “Open it, Elsa.”

Before she could think to stop her emotions, tears were flowing from her eyes. She kept the rest of her demeanor as calm as possible, and her brain raced to remember the code that had been in her email that morning. The numbers jumbled in her head and her fingers shook as she tried to make the keypad complete its intended function.

“C’mon! Open it!”

Another man in the group yelled from behind her, causing her to startle. Her tears rolled thicker and faster down her cheeks; the man standing with her put his hand over hers.

“You know the code,” he encouraged quietly. “We aren’t gonna hurt you, okay? We’re here for the money, not for any of you. Take a deep breath, try it again.”

Elsa closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath through her nose, then let it out through her mouth. She took her time, but didn’t linger. Finally, the numbers made sense and her fingers worked. The safe beeped three times, and the heavy door unlocked.

“Good girl,” the man commented before moving her aside. Elsa retreated to sit where the other tellers were huddled together as two of the men raced into the safe.

Maybe she would make it out of this alive. They were getting what they wanted, she had cooperated like they asked. They could take what they wanted and leave, and Elsa could forget this ever happened.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

A feminine voice cursed from the back room, and a fourth member of the group came racing towards the front. That person looked at the man who had overpowered the guard, gave a hand gesture, then turned to the group of tellers on the floor. Elsa locked eyes with the woman, and fear gripped her all over again. The woman gripped Elsa’s arm and tugged her up from the floor.

“You’re coming with us.”

Elsa struggled, but that only got her thrown in the back of a van and hit about the face. She could feel blood coming from near her hairline, but still all she could do was stay quiet and try not to show too much emotion.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Suddenly, the man who had told her to open the safe was between the two of them. The woman was accusing her of activating an alarm. The argument continued, but Elsa’s ears were ringing and she felt as though she might pass out.

The van sped away, bringing Elsa back again. Her hands were secured behind her back, and she was blindfolded and gagged. Elsa was aware of someone sitting next to her, but she was too afraid to move or ask questions.

She figured it was roughly twenty minutes before they stopped and someone helped her out of the van. The woman warned that they knew where her family lived, where she lived, and that if she talked to the police, there would be hell to pay.

Someone sat her down on the curb, and the now familiar voice of the man who had been at the safe with her directed her to sing her favorite song to herself before removing the blindfold. Elsa sang it twice before being sure they were gone. She nudged the bandanas away from her eyes and mouth with her shoulders before getting up from the curb and screaming for help.

The hospital was buzzing anyway, but being surrounded by police and medics only made Elsa more anxious. Too many people were coming and going, making it difficult for her to keep track of all of everyone. In her mind, if she didn’t know who was who, it was simply too easy for one of the robbers to come into the room and finish her off.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I know there’s a lot going on here, but Ms. Chapman needs some quiet, and I need the same to examine her. If you’ll excuse us, please.”

Elsa’s eyes met those of the young doctor waiting at the curtain for the room to clear. A nurse stayed behind, but Elsa already felt less tense with the three of them left in the room alone.

“Thank you for that,” she commented quietly.

“You’re welcome,” the doctor smiled, pulling on a pair of nitrile gloves. “I’m Dr. Juneau, this is my nurse, Elizabeth. Besides your head, can you tell me if you have any other injuries, Ms. Chapman?”

“Please, call me Elsa,” she began, “and no, I don’t think I’m hurt anywhere else.”

Dr. Juneau nodded. “To be on the safe side, if it’s all right with you, Elizabeth and I will help you into a gown, and we’ll do a full work up. Is that okay?”

Elsa agreed to change out of her clothes. Elizabeth put them in a bag, but Elsa had a feeling as soon as she got home, she’d strip out of those clothes and throw them away. Surely, she’d never wear that outfit again.

“All right, we’ve got this cut near your hairline -- should be easy to stitch up. We’ll get a plastics guy in here, make sure there’s little to no visible scarring. What’s your pain level?”

The exam was thorough, and went on for the next fifteen or twenty minutes, at least. Elsa was taken to imaging for x-rays and a CT scan, and when she returned to her room, Dr. Juneau was there with another doctor.

“This is Dr. Mackey,” she introduced. “He’ll take care of that cut on your head. You’ve got a concussion, as well, so I want you to take the rest of the week to rest. Really try to be as relaxed as you can. I know that won’t be easy, considering.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

Elsa expected that Dr. Juneau would leave Dr. Mackey to it, but instead, she stayed at Elsa’s bedside, ready to hold her hand or talk her through the process, whatever Elsa needed.

“Dr. Juneau --”

“You can call me Aurelie.”

“Really, you don’t have to stay. I appreciate it and all, but I’m sure you’ve got other patients.”

Aurelie cleared her throat. “That’s true, but they’re all fine, for the moment. You told us you have no one in the area we can call, and since you won’t let us call your family …”

Tears welled in her eyes, certainly not for the first time that day. This time though, Elsa cried happily for the return of some semblance of the calm feeling she had when she had woken before her alarm that morning.

AllOfTheThings: @captain-s-rogers @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @hurricanerin @horsesandbandsforlife @im-not-an-armrest-im-short @captain-rogers-beard @shynara51 @sea040561 @softrogers @pinknerdpanda @xtina2191 @jackryanplz @beakami @heartsaved @fullprunerebelstatesman @blackwidowismyhomegirl

Boston Boys: @atc74 @the-murder-strut-murdered-me @becs-bunker @shield-agent78 @patzammit @crazyandanonymous4u @ntlmundy

#marvelfluffbingo2020 #john krasinski #chris evans #fanfiction #crossover #criminal!au

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lullabieswrappedinlies · 4 years

Text

Boston Boys [Part Three]

Summary: After returning home from visiting family, Elsa becomes the victim of a bank robbery and kidnapping. Pairing: Chris Evans x OFC, John Krasinski x OFC Word Count: 2420 Chapter Warnings: language, bank robbery, kidnapping, guns. A/N: This story contains a character who lost her hearing as she got older. I do work closely and regularly with the D/deaf community (I’m a sign language interpreter), but my own hearing problems do not involve significant hearing loss. It is not my intention to offend anyone, only to bring in a character with a quality I don’t see often in other fics. If you have questions about her, feel free to ask :)

Boston Boys Masterlist

“I thought you weren’t coming in until tomorrow,” Margaret commented, inviting herself into Elsa’s room and kissing her daughter on the cheek.

Elsa scowled and wiped away the lipstick on her face. She touched up the foundation and powder there, then went back to choosing a lip color.

“I wasn’t expecting to,” Elsa lied, “but Brie and Ben are having a dinner get-together, so I thought I’d come into the city early. I’ll probably catch up with Brie afterwards.”

Margaret sighed as she inspected her newly-manicured nails. “Maybe she can talk you into coming home for good.”

“Late twenties,” Margaret interrupted.

Margaret shook her head. “You’ve had so many opportunities afforded to you, Elsa. I only wish you could see the potential in yourself that your father and I see in you.”

She was deep in thought over this while she helped Brie clean up. She was loading the dishwasher, but had been rinsing the same plate for a few minutes now.

Ben shooed her away. “You’re not really thinking about dishes, Els. You and Brie get a glass of wine and go talk. I’ve got this.”

Elsa gave him a grateful smile. She poured two glasses of wine, then went to find Brie putting the dining room back into its normal arrangement.

“Your husband said he’s got the rest, that we should talk.”

“So, how’s Beantown? Really, I mean,” Brie asked. “Nevermind everything you told everyone else. Be real with me.”

Brie laughed. “Shut up. I love what I do.”

Elsa smiled at her friend. “Thanks, Brie. That helps.”

“Good. Now, let’s get down to the really important information.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Are you getting laid?”

“Not getting laid. Honestly, I don’t think about it that much. I’m focusing on school and work, you know? That keeps me busy enough.”

Brie shook her head. “All those beautiful Boston boys, and you’re not even taking advantage. I bet there’s a long line of them who would show up if they knew where you really came from.”

Elsa only shook her head. She had gone on dates with some guys from school, but nothing ever came from those outings -- and she was okay with that. She had other things to concentrate on.

“Elsa! Elsa has the code!”

The words brought her back to the present as one of the men came towards her. He climbed over the counter; Elsa backed away from him, out of instinct.

“Are you Elsa?”

Fearing the words would be her last, she closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes.”

The man gestured towards the safe with his gun. “Open it, Elsa.”

“C’mon! Open it!”

Another man in the group yelled from behind her, causing her to startle. Her tears rolled thicker and faster down her cheeks; the man standing with her put his hand over hers.

“You know the code,” he encouraged quietly. “We aren’t gonna hurt you, okay? We’re here for the money, not for any of you. Take a deep breath, try it again.”

“Good girl,” the man commented before moving her aside. Elsa retreated to sit where the other tellers were huddled together as two of the men raced into the safe.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“You’re coming with us.”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I know there’s a lot going on here, but Ms. Chapman needs some quiet, and I need the same to examine her. If you’ll excuse us, please.”

Elsa’s eyes met those of the young doctor waiting at the curtain for the room to clear. A nurse stayed behind, but Elsa already felt less tense with the three of them left in the room alone.

“Thank you for that,” she commented quietly.

“Please, call me Elsa,” she began, “and no, I don’t think I’m hurt anywhere else.”

Dr. Juneau nodded. “To be on the safe side, if it’s all right with you, Elizabeth and I will help you into a gown, and we’ll do a full work up. Is that okay?”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

Elsa expected that Dr. Juneau would leave Dr. Mackey to it, but instead, she stayed at Elsa’s bedside, ready to hold her hand or talk her through the process, whatever Elsa needed.

“Dr. Juneau --”

“You can call me Aurelie.”

“Really, you don’t have to stay. I appreciate it and all, but I’m sure you’ve got other patients.”

Aurelie cleared her throat. “That’s true, but they’re all fine, for the moment. You told us you have no one in the area we can call, and since you won’t let us call your family …”

Tags: @themtbmbgirl @keithseabrook27 @ulovemelightsout @rosie2801 @professorkrasinski

#john krasinski #chris evans #fanfiction #crossover #criminal!au

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manumigoya · 4 years

Text

A regular guy’s experience with a military graded phone and why you might want one

The Ulefone Armor 7 Pro is a smartphone designed for adventurers, construction workers and people who are routinely exposed to conditions that would endanger most modern devices. I’m not any of those things, but I still think it was the right choice for me, and it might just suit you too.

What use has a normal guy like me for a phone built to withstand such extreme conditions? I’m no couch potato, I regularly ride my bike to work and back, enjoy the occasional trekking and camping trip and walk around my city a fair bit. Even so, that is a far cry from the kind of person this phone was designed for.

After all, the Ulefone Armor X7 Pro has a IP-68 and a MIL-STD-810G rating, which means it can literally survive for a day buried under a meter of concrete, withstand half an hour under 1.5 meters of water, its completely sealed to dust or sand, and a bunch of other characteristics you can read about here. Essentially, it’s build to last.

About this review

This article is not intended to be a thorough technical review of the phone, but rather a list of reasons why I think it might suit you even if you are not the intended target for it. Therefore I will only go through some of the most important specs, highlighting what I personally consider relevant.

If you wish to know the full technical details you can visit the official Ulefone site or search for a traditional review. If you wish to skip to my conclusion, where I explain why this is also a great phone for normal users, scroll to the end.

Ulefone Armor 7 Pro specs

CPU: Mediatek Helio A20 1.8GHz

RAM: 4Gb

Storage: 32Gb (expandable)

OS: Android 10

Screen: 5’’

Back Camera: 13Mbx

Front Camera: 5Mpx

Battery: 4000 mAh

Size: 150 x 78,9 x 14,6 mm

Has NFC

Micro-usb charging

Okay, now that we listed the technical details, let’s consider what each of them brings to the table and how the final product behaves.

Slow and steady

If you are looking for a fast snappy phone with which you can simultaneously scroll through Instagram, watch a video with picture in picture mode, and have a graphic intensive game waiting for you in the background, this isn’t it. Nor is this the price range you should be aiming at.

The Armor Mediatek Helio A20 processor, with a frequency of 1.8GHz, isn’t anything to write home about. And the 4GB of RAM, though an improvement on previous models, pales in comparison to what even mid-range phones pack these days.

And you know what? That’s actually perfectly fine. The purpose of this phone isn’t to win any race, but rather to get the job done. And that it does.

I need my phone to perform what has become over the years a pretty basic list of tasks: social media, document editing, internet browsing, music and video streaming, taking some pics, and basic photo and video editing.

The Ulefone Armor 7 Pro is able to do any of those tasks without issues, even when I need to open two or three apps in the background. Yes, it does get a bit slow or even freezes for a couple of seconds from time to time, but not enough for it to interrupt my experience.

Battery life

Back when smartphones were a new thing, we used to complain about their battery life bitterly. Habituated to our old not so bright devices whose batteries lasted for days, we felt that the tradeoff wasn’t always worth it. Yes, we were now the proud owners of mind-boggling phones that could perform amazing tasks for us. But use them for a couple of hours and you better find somewhere to charge them (and have the time to wait for that to be done).

Luckily, smartphones are getting better at this by the iteration. With its 4000mAh battery, the Ulefone Armor 7 Pro is just another contender in the race for autonomy.

According to my digital wellbeing app, I’ve been using it an average of four and a half hours per day. That’s a lot. It actually puts me in the top 20% of screen time, but being excited for my new gadget and having to do this review I feel a bit justified.

Even so, I usually have at least 30% of the battery left when I finish my day, if not more. And, on the occasions I don’t use it as much, I can go two days without having to think about charging.

At a time when we are seeing affordable phones with 5000mAh of battery that can last up to three days without charge and that have better performance, the Armor X7 Pro’s battery life certainly won’t make any headlines, but it’s still a great perk for the price.

The Ulefone X7 Pro camera

As I said, one of the tasks I need my phone to perform on a daily basis is taking pictures. With a 13 megapixels main camera, a 5 megapixel front camera, and pro, night and underwater modes, the Armor X7 Pro it’s barely able to keep up with today’s standards.

I know, I know, nobody is buying it to start a photography career. But still, I was expecting a bit more, even from those low specs. Truth be told, the night mode usually just ruins the colors in most pictures and the pro mode feels terribly lacking. I still haven’t tried the underwater mode.

The first picture is taken on normal mode, the second with night mode. This kind of open dimly light landscape is the only instance where I found the night mode actually improved the result.

Pro tip: make sure to disable the Ulefone watermark, as I clearly didn’t.

Normal mode:

With night mode:

If your only purpose is to take casual photos for your personal social media, then the Armor X7 Pro will do the trick, but anything more than that and you will need to look somewhere else.

Other details and utilities

There’s a lot to say about this phone. From its unique set of apps to its thick rubber encasing. But, for the sake of brevity, I’ll just go through some of the features that I have noticed more in its daily usage.

Custom button

After using Motorola -and it’s amazing gestures- for years, I was afraid I would have too much of a hard time getting used to another brand. Luckily the Ulefone Armor X7 Pro comes with a custom key on its left side that can be programmed to do up to three different tasks. I have it set just to two: opening the camera and the flashlight. Simple, but incredibly useful.

NFC

A surprising number of middle-range phones lack this feature. But not the Armor X7 Pro, and I’m incredibly grateful for it.

Headphone Jack lids

In order to withstand an hour under 1.2 meters of water, the phone is completely sealed off. That includes the headphone jack, the charger plug, and the sim tray, which are all protected by thick rubber lids. Unfortunately, said lids are difficult to open without the dedicated tool Ulefone includes in the package.

This tool, while useful, is rather small and prone to getting lost. I have resorted to knives, forks, screwdrivers, and other such tools to open them, including my own nails (which I do not recommend).

Sadly, on a couple of occasions where my nails were trimmed and I had nothing pointy with me, I could open the headphone jack at all and resigned myself to just listening to the surroundings.

Though I understand the importance of this protection, I wish Ulefone had thought about some way of opening these lids without that tool. Or maybe even a way to carry it in the phone itself without fear of losing it.

Speakers

Oh my god are they loud! I really haven’t used my wireless speakers since I have this phone. Of course, it doesn’t have the same quality or sound level, but it’s more than enough for most situations.

Why I recommend the Ulefone Armor X7 Pro

Simply put, this is a phone for people that don’t want to worry at all about their phones. Which isn’t a new concept at all. The market for minimalist phones is growing as people realize that some device’s specs are so good they end up getting into the way of life.

And, while the Armor X7 Pro probably wasn’t designed with this in mind, it achieves it in an awesome and unique way.

First of all, its specs are good enough for the vast majority of tasks people normally need their phones to perform, while at the same time not being so appealing that they demand your constant attention.

Use it normally and you’ll have no problems, use it intensely and its shortcomings will start to annoy you. It might not be ideal, but it’s a great way to reduce your screen time (at least when you don’t have to write a review about it).

On the other hand, its ridiculous resistance to water, falls, pressure, and temperature, makes it so I don’t have to worry about breaking the thing. I’m not a particularly clumsy person, but I have been known to break a phone or two, so this is important to me.

Now, with the Armor X7 Pro, I just leave my phone anywhere, with almost no worries about its safety. If it can go through the 29 tests needed to get the MIL-STD-810G certification, It can withstand a fall while I’m riding my bike, the playful (and sticky) hands of my nephews, or having a pint of beer accidentally poured over it on a Friday night.

As long as it doesn’t get stolen, it will probably be with me for however long I want it to.

And I got all of this for just over a 100 euros on eBay -you can get it cheaper in Banggood, if you are willing to wait a bit longer. Really, I don’t think theres another phone that can deliver all of this by that price.

#phone reviews #ulefone #mobile phones #review

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dredshirtroberts · 5 years

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Naming and Other Fun Things You Can Do With Your Trauma

Below will follow my journey to where I am today with my sexuality and romantic attraction levels and kind of be a look at where I might be with it all at this time. Because I want to figure shit out about myself for me, not because it actually matters right now, and I think taking a look at The Shit™ I’ve put myself through romantically will be a good jumping off point.

I might get TMI, as a warning, because I’m not good at keeping things to myself online. So be aware of that.

Alright so...how far back to I go? Do I start with the most recent endeavors or do I end with them? How do we accomplish this task.

Let’s start with actual romantical feelings I guess. I had a crush on the same guy for 7 years. There were other crushes during that time, one of which extended well past the end of my crush with the first guy. The 7 Year Crush was a guy I knew from church. He was a whole year older than me and he was Cool™. He had the cool guy haircut, everyone at school knew him, his parents were well known in the area, he played guitar. I liked him from age 7 to age 14 with no breaks. I finally got over him but it took a long time.

Now We’re Best Friends was fun. I acquired that crush around 10 or 11 or so - another church kid, again around a year older than me. They’re non-binary now, and one of my best friends. My crush on them was like...at least 10 years long. Again, there were some others that came and went during that time but I was a bit obsessed. They’re still really fuckin pretty but I’m at least aware they’re not actually my type and we would have been super incompatible so thanks to the universe for steering me away from that one.

The David Incident was...an attempt to get away from Now We’re Best Friends. I was 16 (going on 17, dahdah dee dahdeedaahhh). I knew him through some of the people we hung out with (ironically, NWBF was one of those people. I had a very small circle I interacted with - I’d say I was friends with them but they turned out to not be very good friends so, yeah...). We’d hung out at a couple of “parties” our mutualest friend held. I went to my sister’s dance recital for the dance school that same mutualest friend went to, so The David Incident was there watching her perform I guess. I never questioned why he was there I just knew he was. Why was he there? They weren’t that close.... huh.

Anyway, he complimented a necklace I’d gotten from my Nana that year for my birthday that I was wearing to the event (cause you dress up nice for your lil sister’s dance recital. Especially because the entire family shows up). We texted a bit and he asked me out on a date. We hung out pretty regularly for about 2 weeks. Mostly watching documentaries and making out, honestly. He tasted like doritos. It was kinda gross. He was also, I would later find out, a conservative neckbeard, so dodged a fucking bullet when he left me for his ex girlfriend he wasn’t over yet. They broke up again three months later and he’s married now to someone he met in college through the military program at the school.

I’m jumping over the Really Bad Choices I Made At Church Camp because he was technically too old for the event, I knew him for a total of 3 days, and he proposed to me after a week of text-only conversation. He also went into the military. This...actually this does become a theme. All my absolute worst decisions went into the military. Hmm.

Anyway where was I...

Okay so Really Bad Church Camp Choices, The David Incident...

And then I was on my own until I was in college. I’m going to count this next one as a contributing factor even though the entire relationship was completely platonic with no intention of going further (except..did I want it to? We’ll go into that I guess).

I Should Have Known Better is what I’ll call this one. This is the only relationship I had with a woman that will be listed on here because most of my relationships with women are friendship only. But this was...a lot more intense than just friendship. And I at one point wanted to be more than friends with her.

We met in class while I was in college. I had just come back from the deep south and was high on Megachurch Neo Baptist Doctrine and also whatever the people in the parking lot of the school were smoking during breaks between classes. It was probably weed. We struggled with the class because the class was shit and taught by someone who could not teach and would not recognize her own failings.

I Should Have Known Better was the first person since I’d started attending college courses to talk to me about things that weren’t class related. She invited me to hang out - she was 3 years older than me, lived on her own (with roommates, but it felt like she had the place to herself), she had a dog, and she did Grown Up Things like drinking and she sometimes smoked weed and my tiny freshly converted and c-sectioned out of the womb of attempting to be born again heart was all a pitterpatter at the thought that I was an adult and I could do that. She got me involved in online dating, we went to Disney together where I footed most of the bill (this is also where my financial struggles started up, though there was a nice long period where I was doing very well by my standards which are low but not bad). We decided to move in together because we were able to stand being around one another all the time and enjoyed it. We talked about becoming even adultier adults and moving into houses right next door to one another, where we’d have our husbands and we’d hang out all the time and it’d be great. There was one point shortly after our move where she had a pregnancy scare, and I was prepared to become the dad of that baby because the potential father was Not Good. Thankfully it was unfounded, but that’s how invested I was with her.

The place we moved into we shared with 2 other girls. These girls did not mesh well with I Should Have Known and this is where the name comes from. She didn’t handle the conflict well, none of us did, because none of us were over the age of 24. But I knew I Should Have Known and I knew it wasn’t her fault that all these other girls didn’t like her, they were just bitches who were immature because that’s what she told me they were. I never really knew the other side of the story.

Anyway we were 4 months into our lease and ISHK wanted the two of us to break the lease and move out. I couldn’t afford moving out and potentially owing 2 rents. The landlord wouldn’t let us out of the lease just because we (she) didn’t get along with the people we moved in with. They were all unwilling to try a subleasing agreement, and I had to make a decision as to whether or not I was going to owe rent at 2 separate places. Mind you, of the two of us I was the only one with a steady job and I was able to make rent and bills and feed 2 people. That was it, that was all I was able to do. I couldn’t afford her rent on top of mine - her dad was helping her.

And the thought that I could move in with her somewhere where it would just be the two of us and I might have to cover my rent (an unknown at this point), the rent at the place we were currently living, our food and bills, and potentially part of her rent if her dad wasn’t willing to help with 2 separate rents? I couldn’t do that. I consulted the cards, I freaked out and went to my family that she’d been slowly working on pitting me against for the past year or so of knowing her, went back to the cards, and spent the entirety of Thanksgiving break just in the worst state. I have always bitten my nails, especially when things get stressful. That was the first time I drew blood and it happened on more than one finger. It was bad.

I told her I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave the apartment. After the lease was up I’d be more than happy to change locations because it was only one year. She...didn’t like that. She told me that staying would ruin her mental health which was already bad, she told me that it would kill her to stay, that living with these two other girls was signing her death warrant.

That was the first time I didn’t just let someone talk me into something I didn’t want to do. Thinking about it is kind of giving me some really shitty reactions in my chest, but...but I did it. I told her I wasn’t going to leave. I sat through her reaction, I planned for her to tell me to never speak to her again, to give her back all the things she’d ever given me or lent me or anything. I sorted out my laundry so I could have her items separate. I was planning on losing my best friend because she couldn’t live with two other people.

The argument that caused all of this, by the way? Dirty dishes. I was the one who ended up cleaning them, as a side note.

ISHK ended up inducing vomiting in the shower after our major blow out about it, while I was sorting through the items she’d given me. I don’t know if it really was that she was crying so hard that she vomited or if she did it on purpose. She told me when she was done that she didn’t want to lose me as a friend, and that she’d stay with me because she couldn’t leave on her own, and also because it wasn’t fair that I be subjected to these two evil girls by myself. She had me clean the bathtub after her, and I did it. I was just glad she wasn’t angry at me and wasn’t leaving me.

Things were strained. She met a guy online, they hit it off over winter break. She’d gone to be with her parents during that time so it was literally just me and one of the other girls in the apartment for nearly a month. Learned some of the other side of the story on that one.

She comes back, she brings the guy with her to hang out. We smoke weed together, he seems alright. They plan on making brownies. You know, special brownies. In the communal kitchen.

She has me go to the one other girl - the one I spent time with during the winter break because it was just the two of us in the apartment - to make sure that it was okay. Even though no matter what the answer was, it was going to happen anyway. The other girl was not pleased, because our agreement was that she and I could smoke but we kept it to our wing of the apartment.

Thankfully this other girl did seem to recognize that I would not do something that directly went against what we’d all agreed on if the other party said no had ISHK not been there. The cops were called, only ISHK got in trouble (she could have lumped me in with her, but she was trying to keep her new boyfriend out of trouble. She didn’t have to, I guess). This did not help relations with the other roommates, of course. She was convinced it was the one who I’d stayed with over the holidays that had caused all the trouble - when not only was that kind of a projection, but also inaccurate because the person who hadn’t been doing their dishes in the first place was the 4th roommate who has been relatively unmentioned due to the fact that I barely spoke to her.

She moved in with her boyfriend when the lease was up, they eventually got married. She did a volunteer stint with a group who she later introduced me to. I feared losing her after the November Incident and let her use me like a doormat a lot more after that. Through the volunteer group I met my next mistake, but we’ll get there. She actually pushed me into trying to have a relationship with him, but I’ve now learned that I should probably not date people who identify as heavily armed and armored combat vehicles so at least there’s that.

I became so attached to this woman that I wanted to be in a more romantically inclined relationship with her and her husband. I never brought this up specifically but we were entirely too codependent on one another. She required me to build herself up and validate her worldview. I required her because I felt I had no one else.

Through the volunteer group I learned that that’s not how healthy friendships or relationships look for the most part. There were aspects that weren’t so bad, of course. I wouldn’t have been her friend for four years straight otherwise. But we were not healthy together. She may not have been abusive necessarily but she and I were toxic together.

And I should have known. At least that something was wrong earlier than I did. Because of her I moved away from my hometown. The intention was to be closer to her. Everything was finalized and then...I had to make a decision. It was her or the new group of friends who didn’t require me to be anything more than myself. I could explore my boundaries and enforce them in a safe and healthy environment and they would be respected. I had people who supported me and loved me and didn’t mind that I was a little strange because they were all a little strange and I loved them for it. Still do, by the way. <3

So my choices were someone who made me choose between being financially stable or potentially ruining everything I’d just set up four months out of my parents house and got mad at me when I made the right decision because it wasn’t what she wanted. Someone who tried to turn me against my family and very nearly succeeded - whether it’s what she intended or not that’s what she was doing. Someone who when I told her I shouldn’t have to choose because 1) it really wasn’t as big a deal as she was making it out to be and 2) I shouldn’t have known ANYTHING about the situation, specifically the things that were supposed to be confidential between her and the main person she had an issue with (who happened to have a very dominant personality - this was a theme), she told me she felt like killing herself.

And if she killed herself because of this it was my fault.

That’s what she told me. Thankfully for me I was at work an hour away and could not drop what I was doing and rush to her side. I would have, if my dad hadn’t stepped in and said “if she were really honestly going to do it, she wouldn’t tell you like that.” Which, yeah might be a shitty way of putting it, but also was true.

I chose not her. I didn’t necessarily choose the volunteer group because for me that’s not the choice I was making. I was choosing to be beside her for another however long it was, alone with no one but her, because she didn’t want me to have anyone else, until she decided she didn’t like the way things were going and pulled this shit again - or not any of that. Of being responsible for only me, emotionally, financially.

I was also beginning a relationship with The Warzone and I couldn’t separate him from her from the volunteer group.

Those next few months were rough for me. When she finally calmed down from everything, she tried to get back into my life. I requested she wait until I contact her again because I was still working through my thoughts and feelings and I didn’t need her influence in that process. I knew it would not be helpful. She would give me about a day, maybe two, before texting me again. This reset everything for me because I could not deal with her and with my still conflicted - and very hurt - feelings about the situation. And I asked her again to please respect my request. This happened several times and I finally stopped responding to her altogether.

There were only two terse emails after that, where she had me come collect my things from her house and leave my key while she was not there. The exchange happened quickly and quietly and I didn’t hear from her for several years after that.

I was with The Warzone for the summer. Considering my longest lasting romantic relationship to this point had been about 2 weeks, this was a novelty to me. I was convinced this was it, this was the time I’d done something right, after all my bad choices this was a good thing.

He had some troubles, and had things that had become roadblocks but he had a job, he had his own place, he had a direction he wanted to go in. So I’d just graduated college and he was still in college life? I was still roughly the same age as his friends, I could still hang and party. My life wasn’t that different.

Our major struggles were mainly that we lived about an hour apart, and we didn’t communicate very well. Or at all, really.

I was anxious and terrified. I hadn’t started working through all my shit yet. I didn’t even know there was shit to work through. I was grieving the loss of my best friend and I had no idea that was even happening. 2 best friends, actually. NWBF had moved really far away and I was still crushing on them super hard. I eventually told them I couldn’t be friends with them until I figured my shit out. That was hard.

I was going through a really rough patch and self medicating with alcohol and more weed because I apparently had found another pothead in Warzone.

Warzone was also my first partner I’d ever had sex with. I don’t regret Warzone necessarily, but I do regret that I invested so much in the relationship, to the point that I blatantly ignored several signs that this was not going the way I wanted it to. His own struggles led to him realizing he couldn’t be in a relationship with me. I still am fucked up over the phrasing he used, because no one wants to be described as a roller coaster the other person doesn’t want to ride on anymore.

And he did this before we were set to hang out with people through the volunteer group. I am incredibly, incredibly thankful for the people who allowed me to lean on them while I was there, who knew the situation. We kept our PDA in the group to a minimum anyway so if you didn’t know we were together, you wouldn’t know unless we told you. He showed up high about an hour after I’d gotten there. I’d showed up early because I’d had to leave after he broke up with me, and I had a nice long tantrum cry in my car in a small parking lot downtown and couldn’t be alone anymore.

My roommate at the time treated me to drinks, helped me get set up on a dating website after some wine on a different night, and was generally supportive throughout the process. I think her change in behavior towards me should have clued me in about The Ex a lot sooner, but oh well.

Because of the dating apps/sites I signed up on, I met The Ex. That whole debacle played out through my posts on here for the most part because this is where I process everything, so if you’ve been with me for a while you’re pretty familiar with my mental state while I was with him. I was constantly justifying his behaviors and actions and no one who loved me liked him but no one said anything either.

They all have carte blanche to tell me when they don’t like someone I’m dating from here on out - not that I plan on doing that much in the future, but I wanted them aware of it. After ISHK and The Ex, I need outside input to show me I’m not making good decisions with the people I’m choosing to keep in my life despite the fact that they treat me like dirt.

ISHK laid the groundwork for The Ex to fully isolate me from my family. Not only was I farther away from them than I’d ever been in my life, but he took me from the job that allowed me to see them regularly. He encouraged me to skip family events. I missed nearly 5 years of my family’s lives because of this man.

When I left him, I was already emotionally done with him. So I thought I’d be ready to try again. It may have been compensation for my loneliness, for my isolation, still so far away from my family even though they at least were aware I was struggling. I couldn’t let myself rely on them yet.

Still can’t.

So I turned back to the dating apps. And I met The Pittsburgh Mistake.

He was nice, charming. I’ll admit when I met him a gaydar went off - the one that says “Oh, this might be a trans guy”. You know all the signals we queer folk give off to one another to say “Hey other queer folk guess what I’m one of you please don’t let me be alone”? There were multiple that read as trans guy.

He was not. I wish he had been. But no he was a redpill, conservative nightmare. And he was abusive as FUCK. We went on an outing and he didn’t tell me the plan was to stay overnight somewhere. He just had me drive him around and we finally got up there and he was like okay let’s go get a room for the night.

That was the first sign.

Then he was like “Hey I gotta go back to Pittsburgh to get all my things so I can move down this way, wanna come with me?” Thinking it was going to be another overnight, maybe a 2 night stay maximum, I said sure.

We were there for almost a week. He’d driven so I couldn’t just leave. He didn’t seem to have any intention of actually doing anything to move his stuff, or sell it, or anything. He flirted with other women nearly the entire time - which I didn’t have an issue with him seeing other people, but I wasn’t, I don’t think, prepared for him to do it while I was with him. Like out with him. On things that other people might have considered dates. I’ve mentioned, however, that he took me to a huge museum and I nearly did forget that I had no idea how long we were going to be up there, I had no spare clothes - just one outfit, he would actively ignore me to flirt with other women, and he wasn’t doing anything to move the situation along with his move.

I’d picked back up on smoking while I was with him. I’ve smoked cigarettes a few times in my life. I can quit cold turkey pretty easily and that’s not an issue, it’s just...I shouldn’t do it. It’s bad for me for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that my mom’s family has a tendency to acquire rare lung cancer that’s exacerbated by smoking. The other is that I have a penchant for getting bronchitis, like, all the time. But I was smoking a lot more heavily than I had previous times, even when I was smoking a lot of weed daily with ISHK, I didn’t smoke nearly as much as I did with The Pittsburgh Mistake.

The other thing that was a huge major red flag I should have been more cognizant of is how he made it my fault if he couldn’t keep it up or get it in during sex. I was doing something wrong, I wasn’t good enough or prepped enough, even though he’d done literally nothing to help things along. It was be ready to go whenever he wanted it, or be told I was worthless and useless and I must not really like him if he couldn’t get it in.

He got really drunk and wouldn’t know what he was doing, and he got really uncomfortable to be around while he was drunk. He claimed he wasn’t an alcoholic but i know he was using it as a crutch for whatever was going on in his brain. He projected his issues onto everyone else. It was everyone else’s fault, not his. They were crazy, not him.

When he started talking about being godlike in a decidedly blasphemous way, I figured there was definitely something wrong. When he continually invited his other girlfriend over while I was still there, despite the fact that both of us had been vocal about it being uncomfortable for us, I knew I needed to get out.

When he broke a window right next to my head because I was trying to leave because he’d invited her over again without saying anything to either of us until he’d already made the decision, and he was drunk enough to not remember it even as it was happening, I knew I needed to run and never come back.

I gave him one last chance. I asked him if he knew why I was upset, and he said something bullshit I don’t even remember. I told him about himself and he accused me of gaslighting him. Which??? Telling you you’re an asshole and that I am uncomfortable when you bring your other girlfriend over and haven’t discussed it with me, especially since I’ve told you multiple times I’m incredibly uncomfortable in that situation is not gaslighting. But he thought he was a genius and so smart and so close after The Ex who had a god complex and thought he was a genius and so smart, I knew I needed out and fast.

He literally sent me a text with a screen shot of a bible verse saying “I am a jealous god” yadda yadda and something about I’ll end up dying alone if I continue being however I was being. Like, thanks, but no thanks I don’t even believe in the Christian God, I’m not going to believe you, some random redpill douche who literally broke a window because I wasn’t putting up with his bullshit anymore, is a god either. I’m very proud of my response.

“LOL, okay bye.”

Like, sorry, bro. You gotta feed me a way more intricate story than just that you think you’re god incarnate. The Ex at least told me he could travel through alternate dimensions and universes and pulled me through along with him at some point from another universe - not his, but a different one, because he loved me so much. You gotta try a lot harder on the god complex in order to top that one, buddy.

yeah I wish I was kidding about the above. I also wish I was kidding when I tell you I believed it.

I’m still working on not believing it. I don’t feel like i belong in this universe a lot of the time, and playing into that did not help. And it’s especially not helpful when I’m super depressed and feeling mildly suicidal. So that’s been fun to deal with since I’ve gotten away from him.

Anyway, those are my relationship mistakes. Warzone almost doesn’t count because it wasn’t necessarily a mistake, but I shouldn’t have been in a romantic relationship so soon after the ISHK incidents.

And through all of this, one of the weirdest things for me is realizing that when I was in relationships? I didn’t necessarily feel any draw to be any sort of way with people. Like, I was with The Ex for 4 1/2 years, and while I loved him I wasn’t romantically in love with him. Which I didn’t realize until I was on my way out of loving him at all because he was treating me poorly. I was physically attracted to The Pittsburgh Mistake, but I knew that wasn’t a long-term deal from the outset. But I wasn’t necessarily sexually attracted to him. I have a high sex drive that sometimes clouds my judgement and I know that was a part of it, but he wasn’t *sexy*. Neither was The Ex. I found him attractive, aesthetically, but he wasn’t *sexy* necessarily. I told him I found him sexy because he didn’t understand otherwise and I thought I was helping. I was actually making it worse but I didn’t know. I felt giddy around The David Incident because I was 16 and was excited that I was finally dating someone because I’d never really done it before. I was just downright stupid with the Bad Choices I Made At Church Camp and that one I will own, but again I was 16 and lonely. Now We’re Best Friends has been the only one that worked out and I think honestly it was the LGBT+ flocking instinct.

I Should Have Known was the only one I feel came closest to romantic feelings and honestly I think that was more stockholm-obsession than actually anything romantic.

So while I’m a sucker for a good love story, while I love the thought of being in a loving romantic relationship, I’m not sure I’m actually romantic? Like?

There was a post the other day that was like “I’m in love with being in love, but I’m Aro-spec" and I was like??? That’s a thing???

And then I was listening to someone else who said they were cupioromantic and I looked up what that meant because I don’t know the aro-labels as well as the asexual labels and I was like???? That’s a THING??????

So, I’m still figuring myself out. I thought I was nearly there and then I remembered I don’t make anything easy for myself. I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum. My sexual attraction is very limited to what I definitely have zero chance with and that’s because it’s safe. Also it’s very aesthetically based, not powered by my genitals or hormones. As to whether or not I’m Aro as well? We’re still working on that.

But this was apparently more about me processing my trauma more than figuring out my labels since that’s what happened. I’m still working on my labels. I may never figure it out. It might change and then I’ll be really fucked which’ll be fun.

So anyway...did you really read this far down? Holy fuck this is so long, well done. You deserve a cookie or a glass of water or at least stand up and stretch like goodness you must be exhausted. Thanks for supporting and loving me and for being here with me while I try to figure out what the fuck is going on in my life.

I love you.

#the captain rambles #this is incredibly long and very personal but I wouldn't post it if I didn't mind y'all reading it #It's mostly about the shit I've gone through over the years as relating to my personal relationships with those outside my family #and then at the very tail end is me pondering labels and what they mean to me #I just really like coming up with fun names to call the crazy shit that happens in my life #because it makes it seem less terrible than it sometimes was #because there've been some shitty things that i've gone through #but hopefully we're moving towards a better place now

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mysticmilks · 6 years

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An arranged marriage AU

Brendol decides to force marry his son to a creepy old man and hires mysterious Kylo Ren to kidnap him. Brendol lies to hesitant Kylo that Armitage really wants to marry the man, and kidnapping is just an old tradition. And Kylo agrees!

Chapter 1.

Kylo doesn’t want to agree. The mission is innocent, simple and boring, not his regular thing - escort rich nobleman to his wedding. He wouldn’t even consider it but the family of the man offered a generous amount of money for a one day job, and he decides to go to the meeting and learn more details.

During their secret encounter, he finds out that this mission is not so much about being a guard to the man, but to participate in some elaborate pre-wedding performance. These people have an odd tradition if a pair doesn't want a big celebration the bride or groom-to-be must be kidnapped from their parent's house and "against their will" brought to the secluded location for a ceremony.

If Kylo agrees he will get access to defense plan of a castle, the exact location of his pretense victim's bedroom, the guards will be notified and will let him in. He just needs to act as an intruder, break to the bedroom, preferably throw the window, so theatrically, capture the man and bring him to a small house in nearby mountains where the wedding will happen.

The only obstacle will be a somewhat real fight with a man. According to Brendol, his client and father of a groom, to show love and devotion groom-to-be need to resist and pretend as much as possible.

“The harder the resistance the stronger the love is and happier will be marriage. This tradition came from an action time when a warrior could capture any person they found attractive, perform a ceremony, consume the marriage and after that, the family of a victim could not seek revenge. But you aren’t interested in history lessons, are you Lord Ren?“- he tells Kylo with a condescending smile. Lord wasn’t his title, that was from another order, and old bastard probably know about that, so Kylo decides not to correct him and nods "But it’s still customary to tell the kidnapper that the wedding is unwanted! The victim needs to show that they are chaste, and want to protect this so nobody would think ill of them.” he cringes his nose, like he smells a fart and sips a brandy “ The ritual is often done by friends of a groom, or a groom himself, but rich families like ours can afford to hire … hm … help for more authenticity.”- one more sip-“My son is going to fight pretty hard. Armitage is madly in love, so he begged me to organize this thing. I can’t tell him no, I spoiled the boy, but he is the only one I have. It’s romantic nonsense but it also quite efficient”. -the man chuckles and finishes his drink -"Can you imagine how much money will I save on wedding feast?”

"I see your point, sir" - Kylo says as politely as he can, but it still sounds fake. He is not used to speaking directly with nobles, regularly taking orders through their attendants. But this man wanted to meet with him to organize everything right for his beloved son.

The tradition seems strange but who he is to judge others, in his culture they have a tradition for a groom (or an older person in a couple) to wash feed of bride’s (younger person’s) mother during the change of dishes, which looks as revolting as it sounds, but traditions are traditions, and money is really good so after negotiations he agrees to take the mission.

-My son, even though it was his idea, won't know about specific details of a plan. Not the date or the exact location of a house. He wants it all to be as much a surprise for him as possible.

-What should I do if your son resists too much? - Kylo doubts that this man can put up a real battle against him but some noblemen fancy themselves as great fighters just because they haven't ever sparred with someone who wasn't their servant. It's easy to win over the one who is scared to mess their pretty hairstyle but in a real fight, all these lords and ladies don't know how to defend themselves and not to lose any vital parts.

-He is totally okay with some bruises just don't break any bones, or hurt his face it's his wedding, he wants it to be perfect.

After the kidnapping, he understood what Brendol was talking about. Everything went according to the plan: he went in the middle of the night, to show how client oriented he can be, the back entrance was unguarded as they agreed, climbed to the bedroom window, where his target was soundly sleeping, but when he tried to grab the man, he woke him up.

"What's going on? " - younger Hux asks in a displeased, but not scared voice.

"I came to take you to your destiny, sweetie! Don't resist me, and I won't hurt you." - Kylo prepared this phrase in advance and tries not to laugh and break the character. He doesn't usually talk with his victims, but when he has a rare opportunity to play it's too tempting to add some cliche, maybe he should tell him the whole evil plan in a dramatic tone.

But this redhead must be really into traditions and loves his future-husband so much (and probably he also has a soft spot for acting and pretending), cause he was really committed to the act, he fought tooth and nails, screamed and bit him, before being Kylo successfully manage to tie down and gag him. Now all Ren needs to do is to deliver him to his fiance and get the money, it's as easy as can be.

The sun already has risen, they still have a long road ahead of them. His bite marks and scratches are hurting and Armitage still wriggling and humming not stop for hours and all Kylo wants is to finish this job in silence.

-Enough, I get it, you love a guy, L-O-V-E him, just stop it till we get to weeding!

He did stop for a moment, his eyes big and scared but started once again even more madly! It seems like the man is trying extra hard to remove the gag and say something. He has a pleasant voice, but more screaming is not what Kylo needs after the sleepless night, so he tries to reason with his captive.

-What is wrong with you? There is nobody there except two of us and believe me, I don’t care about your stupid traditions, a need to pretend, all this purity and virginity bullshit. You can save all these games to your so special husband!

More frantic humming muted by gag and Kylo considers for a moment to knock him out and finally enjoy a peace. But he isn’t sure that they’d pay him if groom arrived at the wedding with his pretty face unharmed but with a concussion. And maybe Kylo Ren isn’t a good guy, but he won’t sink to hitting a tied man just because that man is too committed to rituals. He needs to endure a couple of more hours and they will arrive at the place, he’ll get his reward, go to the nearest pub and forgot these strange people and their strange weddings, he may even find somebody for himself there to warm his bed and his cock. Maybe even redhead.

After particularly loud noise, Kylo decides ones again to try to calm down him, with as much patience as possible.

-The more you annoy me, the slower we go and the later we will arrive at your sweetheart! If we didn’t reach the mountains before the darkness we will need to stop for the night. There is part of a road we'll need to go by foot and I won't risk breaking your lovely neck by going there in a dark. So it’s in your best interest to be quiet. I promise I will tell you when we are near the place so you could act as a struggling captive for them.

Even more silenced noises, grunting and squirming. The man has decided to play his part for the whole duration of a trip. If he will continue to act like this at the near path in mountains, it would be wiser to tie him harder and carry him. Kylo is just too tired of this theater, he is a mercenary, not an actor to this rich guy, he is not trained to deal with this, he's never a problem like this with real captives. But maybe the man, Armitage his name is Armitage, he reminds himself, has his reasons for all this pretense, maybe for him, it's important to honor this tradition, he is his client and he pay for that. Kylo sighed, he doesn't have any solution after all:

-Okay, whatever, you may continue, if that makes you happy. You pay for this, it's your moment to shine.

Maybe if he ignores this behavior the man will grow tired and stop. He heard it works on children although it's never worked on him. Kylo tries to zone out, to concentrate on a road ahead of them. But the redhead is all he can think about. He discreetly checked him over his shoulder. So young, he must be somewhere in his early twenties, just around Kylo’s age. And he’s already decided to get married, and even go throw some complicated traditions. Kylo wonders, would somebody be so in love with him to willing to go throw something similar for him, would Kylo want it, would Kylo want it from this guy.

trange thoughts, he shouldn’t think about his prisoner in that way. He is not even a prisoner, he is a client, and that's highly unethical. But this Armitage is undeniably cute with gorgeous red hear, slender body and his pale skin is seen throw translucent nightgown. He can’t help but consider what would it be like to touch that skin, to kiss that furious mouth, to have that scratches and bites from romantic nights, not a fight, to have this body all for himself?

He imagines Armitage being delivered to HIM by some anonymous mercenary to being promptly wed surrounded by a small group of closest friends. Kylo always had a thing for secret small weddings. Then they’d be led to a bedroom, where Armitage being as stubborn as always, which was so obvious even now, wouldn’t drop an act and continue to fight. Kylo’d enjoy it, all small punches, curses, loud threats, but just to be on the safe side with his sweet husband he’d whisper “Do you want me to stop, Armie?”. "Kylo Ren, if you ruin our wedding night I’ll suffocate you with a pillow" in serious even tone and then again with an angry snarl “Stop, animal, don’t you dare touch me with your dirty hands.”. They’d play this game. He’d rip Armies clothes, while been called a brute, monster, animal. He'd pin him to the bed, roughly kissed him, touched him, opened him, teased him until his new husband would drop all pretense and start to beg Kylo for more.

Kylo lost in that fantasy, his pants grew tighter, breathing became irregular. He knows he should stop and concentrate. It was highly unprofessional and also unsatisfying, he can’t take a break now for a quick wank, he is on a mission not on vacation, and his client will be married to another man in hours.

So now he is angry at himself, at Armitage Hux, at his future husband, and at this stupid nightgown. Maybe they should take a small break, he needs to clear head, stretch his legs and take a leak.

He suddenly understands he hasn't heard anything from his prisoner for some time.

-Shit!

He turns his head only to find out that Armitage Hux the only son to Brendol Hux count of Arkanis, is unconscious.

#kylux #kylux fanfiction #kylux fic #chapter one ut i'm not sure #kylux ficlet #kylux fandom #I'm still editing it so if anybody want's to point all my grammar mistakes i'd be grateful #my fics #my kylux

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

Text

What motivates you to do what you do? Motivation? I don’t know her. What was the weather like the last time you went out? Hot and gross. Do you go for walks often? Never. What color shirt are you wearing? Red. What is your favorite type of youtube video to watch? ASMR and vlogs.

Do you need any new clothes right now? No, but that doesn’t stop me from ordering too many graphic T’s that I don’t need or have the room for. I really have a problem. What’s the next project you are excited to start? I don’t have any. Do you collect anything? If so, what? Giraffe stuffed animals and knickknacks. ^and if not, what would you like to collect? What was the last disappointing thing that happened to you? Health stuff. What is something God has healed you of? He’s healing me now. Have you ever experienced a miracle? Yes. What was the last thing you ate? Spaghetti. Do you ever eat food that’s intended for kids? Sure. What was the last stupid thing you did? The stupid thing is not doing something I should do. A few things. Do you get embarrassed easily? Yes. Are you wearing pants or shorts right now? Leggings. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? I’m not having kids. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? Ew, noooooooo. Do you like getting caught in the rain? I love the rain a lot more when I can enjoy it from inside, ha.

Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight or wavy. What was the last craft project you completed?: Pfft who knows. Name 3 youtubers you would like to meet in person: A few of the ASMRists I watch. Has anyone ever spread an untrue rumor about you? No. What’s one rumor you’ve heard about yourself, and is it true? I haven’t heard a rumor about myself. What color are your nails painted currently? They aren’t. Do you use a pill box? No. List 3 people you know who were loving and then turned cold: I don’t know anyone like that, personally. Have you filmed a youtube video today? I don’t make videos. Do you leave the house when you’re on your period? Yeah, I did. ^If not, why not? - Have you ever felt threatened for your life? Yes. What are you behind on? Life. Do you get enough sleep each night? Nope. It’s never enough. Which did you like better: high school or college? College. Which year of your life stands out to you as the most significant so far? I don’t know. …and why? What was the last store you shopped at? Kohl’s. Do you have a favorite pharmacist? I don’t know any of the ones at my pharmacy. I’m not the one who picks up my medicine. Do you have a favorite cashier at the grocery store? No. What was the last thing you ordered at Starbucks? Venti white chocolate mocha with soy. What’s something you discovered recently? Blah. What makes you more creative? Nothing. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? Nothing. What is the theme of your bedroom? Giraffes and Christmas it would seem, ha. Yes, I still have my Christmas decorations up in my room. *shrug* Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. Who is someone whom you admire, and why? My mom. She’s one tough, hardworking, intelligent woman. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? I haven’t been in that kind of situation in a long time. Where would you like to travel to next? Hawaii would be great. If you could win three dream vacations to anywhere, where would you go? Bali, Bora Bora, Mykonos. Would you rather ride a camel or an elephant? Neither. Are you a free spirit? No.

Do you want to lose weight? Nooo. I can’t lose more weight. I need to gain weight. Which insects scare you, if any? All of them. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of a tiny insect? I don’t care. Have you ever experienced paranoia? Yes. Have you ever hallucinated? No. Were you raised religious? No. Have you ever been abused? No. Do you think the cops should do more about bullying? Everyone needs to. Is there a coffee shop you like better than Starbucks? It’s really the only one I go to. If you could afford to get your hair professionally done, what would you get? I used to get my hair colored regularly. It’s been almost a year since I last got it done, though. D: If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I would definitely try to. Do you know any rich people who are very irresponsible? No. List five careers that you’d like to have: I can’t even think of one... :/ List five far-out things that you’d like to do before you die: Uhhh.

Do you dream big? No. What was your first imaginary friend’s name? I didn’t have one. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Scruffy. What was the first work uniform that you had to wear? I’ve never had a job. Do you like to go barefoot? Noooo. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? Some of them. Do you have a blog? This is it. Do you have a youtube channel? I have a YouTube account, but I don’t make videos.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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forasecondtherewedwon · 6 years

Text

There would be a joke here about interrupting your regularly scheduled programming, but what even is that on this blog anymore? Je ne sais pas.

I wrote a fic for yet another fandom because I don’t know how to stay in just one! So, if anyone watches Deadly Class...

Rats’ Waltz

Rating: E (NSFW BELOW THE CUT) Pairing: Petra Yolga/Billy Bennett Chapters: 1/1

‘The Lady in Red’ played itself out and Petra let her arms slide down from Billy’s shoulders. His eyes darted nervously and he clasped a hand around his opposite wrist, throttling it. She wondered what was going through his mind. She’d always thought she’d known, before, but it was so different with him here in front of her. His words, the way he’d said he loved her, were easy to brush off; dismissing Billy and everything he was… that would be impossible after they’d danced, holding each other like that. If she wasn’t careful, he was going to figure out that she had a heart after all.

“How do I look?” she asked, watching his face steadily as his gaze zoomed down the length of her dress and shot back up to her eyes. It was mercury in a thermometer plunged into boiling water. It was the last ride on a condemned rollercoaster.

Billy’s laugh came out mostly through his nose.

“Like a princess.”

Petra pinched his bicep, hard, and he flinched away, almost dancing again, but more like the frantic, mosh pit shit that he and Lex practiced. The kind of dancing that god intended the populous to headbang along to.

“We could burn it off,” Billy suggested excitedly, fishing from his back pocket the lighter that had recently unleashed Lex’s pyrotechnic mayhem on the sky over Kings.

“Ah,” Petra halted him. She laid a soothing hand over Billy’s jittery one. “Good in theory, but I’m pretty sure one of those Sweet Home Ala-bitches got me with a blast of hairspray, and I’d rather my head didn’t go up in flames.”

She raised her hands level with her temples and made an exploding gesture, complete with sound-effect. Billy lowered his chosen instrument of chaos and Petra watched his nimble fingers push it deep into a front pocket of his pants. His hands were nice; she hadn’t really noticed that before. Then again, the chunky cast on his forearm generally arrested the eye.

Billy shifted, jumpy and overactive, and let out a giddy laugh.

“Me too, unless it’s metaphorically. I support your punk-given right to be a rage monster.”

Petra offered a tender half-smile.

“You had that handled tonight. You stood up for me.”

“It was retribution,” Billy said, sounding psycho-tough and stabbing a pointed index finger at the floor.

“It was anarchy.” Petra grinned. “And it was beautiful.”

He jerkily shrugged his shoulders.

“What’s a Rat got ‘cept other Rats?”

She nodded.

“You look out for your own. Your own,” Petra repeated, fainter, and reached up to cup Billy’s cheek.

He was too soft―not his face, though she doubted he’d ever shaved out of necessity―believing that she wouldn’t yell sike! or pull some other shit to punish the trust in his eyes. After she’d already hurt him, hurt him on purpose at Shabnam’s party. She was clearly bad for him and he was bad for her, a bad alliance in a place like this, not exactly hell, but maybe the clammy space between hell’s toes.

She kissed him because that seemed like a better idea than waiting to see if he’d do it first.

Billy pulled her back in, following her with his mouth when a breath snuck between them. Petra could feel him shaking, but she didn’t exactly know how to touch him. Damn green-mohawk’d livewire. He was so the opposite of casual.

“You’ve done this before, right?” she checked, drawing her face back from his.

“This this?” He puckered his lips to demonstrate kissing. Petra’s eyebrows lifted. “Oh,” Billy said, “this. Yep.” His vigorous nodding told Petra he’d caught on.

Yes, she meant sex, and yes, she knew he wasn’t a virgin. The way she’d asked probably made her seem like she didn’t know, but shit, it was supposed to have come out ringing with mockery, not soft and insecure. Ugh, she sounded tragically preteen.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?” she snapped at him.

Billy’s jaw tightened and Petra felt the whole scene teeter at the edge of a cliff she hadn’t known they were on. He’d say something about Viktor and then she’d get defensive and shut him out and then he’d get frustrated by the ineffectiveness of the way he always tried to break down her emotional walls with a battering ram even though this had never worked in their entire history and then―

“Do you… have something to contribute?” Billy asked, rocking on his heels.

Petra got her nostrils to un-flare from her pre-emptive surge of anger.

“I haven’t,” she said shortly. Less words meant less room for feelings to leak out of the corners of her mouth like drool when the dentist took too long prodding at your molars. Jesus, when had she last been to a dentist?

Billy’s features showed exaggerated confusion: forehead rumpled like bedsheets, eyes wild, etc. Petra sighed.

“Done this,” she clarified, her eyes careful on his. “Not with anyone who mattered.”

“Viktor was…?”

“There. He was there. Frankly, I’d rather get the taste of him out of my mouth sooner than later. Metaphorically,” Petra added when something caught fire behind Billy’s eyes.

“Look, we can forget all about what I said before, ok?” His confession at Shabnam’s was what Petra took this to mean. Billy laughed awkwardly, self-consciously. “Things don’t have to be that intense between us, but I also don’t wanna be mouthwash.”

“It came out wrong,” she admitted, inexplicably pissed at herself for having to apologize for something. “You wouldn’t be mouthwash.”

“Well… good,” Billy decided. “I’m a person, Petra.”

“You’re a cold-blooded lizard-man if you don’t shut up and kiss me again soon.”

“Shit,” he laughed, hesitantly cupping the sides of her head like he thought she might knee him in the nuts. Honestly, it still wasn’t completely off the table. “I know you’re not exactly overflowing with emotions, but there is this thing called romance.”

“I don’t do romance.” She hoped her eyes hadn’t just gone as wide and dreamy as it felt like they had. Fuck.

“Guess that’s all on me then.”

As his face tilted towards hers, Petra anticipated a kiss that came down hard and hungry, like the one she’d given him. Apparently, that wasn’t how things went when Billy led. She should’ve learned from the dancing.

His lips brushed hers and something deep inside her jerked loose like a vending machine dropping a soda. Petra felt fizzy. Their mouths hadn’t fully connected when Billy’s tongue skated slickly along her lower lip. What the hell. She could feel this getting her wet; normally it took several minutes of her chosen paramour’s determined fingering (post- several minutes of her determined instructions) to do that. It was her body throwing her words back at her, a reminder that no one else she’d messed around with had mattered. What a disturbing revelation though. Not only did she have feelings for Billy, she was also hot for him. The hits seriously just kept on coming.

Moaning was inevitable when Billy’s tongue stroked fully along hers and dragged it back into his open mouth. Petra half-mourned the fact that the Nazi she-devils hadn’t played dolly right down to her underwear, because the ones she was wearing were still her own and they were going to be a bitch to hand-wash with bulk-bought soap in the communal ladies’ room. A soft “uh” sound found its way out of their interlocked mouths and her hands gripped the front of Billy’s shirt. Instead of pulling back the way Petra dreaded he might, he moved his hands down from her hair, rubbing the back of her neck. Thank god he hadn’t given her some innocent startled face. Not a good complement to how badly she wanted to ride his thigh.

Petra stayed close, pressing both palms to his chest. Well, what a pleasant surprise―this skittish little skateboarder had the gentle swell of non-steroid-enhanced muscle under here. Lean but firm. Felt like his body had adapted after so many rounds of combat class, even if his brain hadn’t. (Petra rarely saw him win a bout. He just wasn’t great at anticipating his opponents.) As she ran her hands across his chest over his t-shirt, Billy dropped his straight to her ass. Kind of amazing that he could find it under the fucking puffy dress. Petra assumed the credit went to some inherent ass-finding skill only present in teenage boys.

He pulled her in, which was when she felt his erection. Again, the dress had been deceptively puffy because, against Billy, all that fluff compressed in a manner usually only observed in spray-cheese. Petra’s heart thrummed and popped like a bassline.

“We can’t get caught,” she said, drawing back to give him a dead-serious look.

Billy rolled his eyes.

“No shit.”

“After the poisoned darts tonight, which we are definitely getting nailed for at some point, we can’t afford any more trouble from the Man.”

“Yeah, babe, talk socialist to me.” He chuckled, kissing her neck, but Petra pried him off. “Ok, ok! You’re right.”

“We can’t stay here,” she said, beginning with the obvious. “Somebody’ll be back to clean up once they get those lowlifes medical attention.”

“Can’t go to the dorms. Roommates.” His grasp on her ass loosened as he thought; it was kind of cute how Billy looked when he concentrated. Ugh, god, no. Focus on the problem, Petra.

“Plus someone would hear us and either go for snitching or blackmail.”

“Oh yeah? You think you’ll be loud?” He grinned.

“I may have left my weapons in my other ball gown, but I can still break you, Bennett,” she warned.

“Promise?”

Petra grabbed his hand and yanked, heading for the door. She stopped short of dislocating his shoulder, but she knew Billy got the message.

“So, where we goin’?” he hissed as they glanced left and right, slipping out into the hall.

“The Rats’ Nest.”

Dumb name―the bastard offspring of their group’s label and a ship’s crow’s-nest―and it had stuck since whichever Kings’ class hooligans had invented it. It was a room on the roof, where all the Rats hung out. Not a stairwell or storage, the rooftop shed was their pinnacle, their dirty confessional, their canvas for graffiti practice. Mostly, it was where guys got their first blowjobs and girls got their first sour taste of the patriarchy. It would do.

“Grim,” was Billy’s assessment. Petra wouldn’t and couldn’t argue, but it was what they had.

“Yeah, I won’t be lying on that floor. Hope missionary’s not your favourite position.”

“Have you wondered?” he asked sleazily as they climbed the stairs to the roof.

“No.” Yes. “But then again…” Petra glanced at Billy over her shoulder. “…everything about you screams ‘submissive,’ so maybe not missionary.”

He bounded up to get ahead of her, swinging the door open.

“Is that what you want?” Billy let the door close slightly so that she was delayed right next to him.

“What?” She was confused and it was better self-defence to wrap that confusion in barbed wire and come off irritated instead.

“Do you want me to be…” He glanced down, practically jumping in place as he bounced on the balls of worn sneakers. “…submissive? Is that what you like? Petra,” Billy said, suddenly staring her right in the eye, “tell me what you like.”

Her eyes widened in discomfort, almost giving her a headache, and she pushed past him, stepping out onto the roof. Clear night tonight. Not even a lingering hazy of smoke from the boys’ cheap firecrackers.

“Fuck off.”

“Ooh, you’re so scary.”

Billy danced around in front of her, walking backwards as she strode ahead.

“Why do you want both of us to feel like shit?” he prodded. “Downstairs… we were… We were getting somewhere, dammit. What do you want from me? You want me to like you, then hate you, then like you, then hate you! Do I have to say it again?”

“Just get in the Nest. I’ll blow you if you’re lucky,” she said dryly.

Billy backed into the little room’s door and crossed his arms.

“No. I love you.”

Petra sighed impatiently.

“You wanna get laid or not?”

“Be a bitch all you like,” he said. “I’m still going to make you see this is worth something. That’s why I want it to be good. You’re not helping yourself by putting that mask back on.”

She clenched her hands into firm fists, but when she went to hammer one into Billy’s chest, all the force went out of it. Her knuckles just barely dug into his skin. His heart pounded back from underneath. They didn’t stare at each other long before Billy surged forward and kissed her.

“I love you, Pet,” he mumbled against her mouth.

“A light touch,” she offered, meeting his eyes as he drew his face back to look at her. “I’m tired of being used and abused.”

“Light touch,” he confirmed. “Got it.”

Petra took one last look at the stars, then reached around where Billy had leaned away from the door and yanked it open by its stiff handle. They entered and he found a box filled with broken bottles to keep the door ajar for the luxury of late-night, city sign light and fresh air. It still smelled like beer and something even funkier, though thankfully not like urine as the only Rats nasty enough to piss up here (all males, go fucking figure) considerately did so off the edge of the roof, hitting the occasional unsuspecting pedestrian.

Billy was watching her and Petra felt insulated with him for the second time tonight, though the first had only been an illusion provided by the music.

“This is a good idea,” he told her.

“The best.”

They were kissing again and Billy was up to his old tricks, getting every little bit of feeling out of her lips and doing it as tenderly as possible. She was insane for liking him this way, Petra realized, because only liking him was going to make her life hell. It would torment her days, find her in her sleep. He’d be kissing her like this in her dreams, the prick. She knew he would.

His hands were gentle too. Clutching at her waist, but moving eagerly to her breasts when Petra tugged the top of her dress down. (Her attackers had declared that the black straps of the bra she’d had on completely ruined this wedding cake vision they’d made of her. Like the rest of her other outfit, she bet the bra was currently bobbing in a toilet bowl.) She wondered if guys could really be like this, on the condition that they were sufficiently surprised to be getting what they wanted…

Nah, they were trash. But not Billy. His hands were warm on her as they dug inside the dress and cupped her boobs. Petra inhaled sharply through her nose when his rough thumbs circled her nipples with inhumane slowness. Her breath came loud in the small space. It felt as though they were miles from the school, or anything.

Billy gave her a last, firm kiss on the mouth, then continued pressing them into her yielding skin; up under her jaw, down her throat. Her heart beat hard. Like a total amateur, Petra gave herself away by grabbing the back of Billy’s mohawk when he smoothly licked over her nipple, but he didn’t get aggressive. He was the perfect gentleman, if that’s what you called the spastic boy you took to the blowjob spot. He was her new definition, anyway.

“Touch me already,” she blurted.

He laughed.

“Just trying to do what you said.”

“I said light, not slow.”

“That’s part of the romance,” Billy informed her, hiking up the hem of her dress.

“It sucks.”

“Thank you.”

He ran his palms up the outside of her thighs and she got goosebumps. Trying to stay calm, Petra put her hands on his shoulders―a stabilizing gesture.

“You seem taller,” she said nervously. Billy just smiled in confusion.

His hands brushed very gently over her hips and the ratty black lace of her underwear. They were a little old, but Petra hadn’t seen any she liked as much as these, and she wasn’t just going to steal cheap ones. She had standards. Better standards for what went on her body than who went in her body, most of the time. But then, tonight, she was getting it on with Billy while wearing something so truly hideous that Petra would’ve tried to murder herself if she’d been someone else and seen her wearing it.

“You look really beautiful. Nothing to do with what they did,” Billy clarified, palms rubbing over her hips, dress frothed up outrageously between them, “just… your face.”

She exhaled as he snagged her panties around hooked fingers and dragged them down.

“Lift your feet,” he requested.

“Why?” she asked, already doing it.

“Well, it’s not like the ground’s spotless and these…” He bent and retrieve them as she stepped out. “…cover a pretty sensitive area.”

It was bizarrely intimate to see Billy holding her undergarments and Petra glared so as not to blush. Prick.

“What am I supposed to do with them now? I’m lacking the over-teased heap of chemically-enlarged hair that I assume Brandy uses to solve feminine problems such as these.”

Billy shrugged.

“I’ll keep ‘em,” he offered cheerfully, stuffing her wadded up underwear into the back pocket of his pants.

Her eyes narrowed.

“Just for right now.”

“Or longer.”

“For as long as you last,” she taunted.

“I will give you the opportunity to renegotiate possession after you’ve seen me last.”

Petra let out an exaggerated, sarcastic gasp.

“Gosh! Really?”

He smiled and then leaned into her, pinning her firmly to the wall. She was pretty sure Billy felt her smile when they kissed, so she bit his lip to balance the scales. Once again, he somehow knew she didn’t mean it and was not deterred. That was how Petra realized she hadn’t broken Billy’s heart properly back at the party. Or maybe she had and he was just a quick healer. The rough cast pressing into her shoulder was a decent reminder.

“When do you get this off anyway?” she asked, touching the cast, then grazing her fingers up the black sleeve covering his arm above it.

“You almost sound like you care,” he accused, grinning and raising his eyebrows. Petra gave him an acid look.

“I’m asking for the sake of my own comfort, dweeb. If we do this again, I don’t wanna feel your plaster digging into me. Shut up,” she said to his awed expression. “I said ‘if.’”

Billy smiled and went back to kissing her. Petra kept her mouth tense and unyielding, but only for a couple of seconds. If Frenching was the kind of thing they graded at this wacko school, this idiot might actually come top of the class. She gave up on just going through the motions and fully gave back to him everything he was giving her, her arms folded around the back of his neck. Billy moaned a little and tilted his hips into her.

“Go ahead,” she panted, breaking away.

He pulled his face back just far enough that her eyes didn’t un-focus when they looked into his. Lowering one hand, then the other, he bunched the skirt of the world’s ugliest dress back into position. She could feel the texture of his pants against her thighs, but he kept his hips back now. Staring steadily into his eyes, Petra leisurely unwrapped her arms from around him and caressed down the front of his army-green T-shirt. Billy shivered and she smirked a little. She popped his button and unzipped his fly without glancing away from his face. He, meanwhile, was doing an exemplary job of not ogling her boobs. The heat from his crotch was practically enough to toast a marshmallow by, but Petra didn’t touch him yet.

“You first,” she dared.

With a visible swallow, Billy fisted the material of her skirt in one hand and slipped the other beneath it. Tentative fingertips located the poke of her hipbone. She didn’t know if he was aiming high and right on purpose, or just curious about her. Petra wondered, for a second, what it would be like to have her entire body touched by him. She wondered how it would be to touch his. The Rats’ Nest was no place for total nudity, unless you wanted to see what kind of diseases you could contract.

She stepped one foot outward, then the other. Billy took a shaky breath and inched his fingers down to cup her. It nearly killed her―worse than being stabbed, poisoned, strangled, or any of the other shit that had been done during real fights or just over the course of gaining the stellar education Kings was supposedly providing. This absolutely asshole! With his unhurried tenderness and goddamn reverent expression. Petra’s head knocked back against the concrete wall. He hadn’t even done anything yet. This was all the mere fact of his hand’s position; feeling it and knowing it was there.

The large studs on the cuff around his wrist were cold when they made contact with her abdomen, but she was pleased to have him holding her closer, more securely. It was almost like claustrophobia―this light-headedness in a small space―as Billy’s seeking fingers spread arousal over her clit. Petra thought he might mock her for being so wet (it was something she might have done, to pierce the atmosphere choking her with meaningfulness). He didn’t.

If it was up to her to play the mean card, she’d have to make a crack about how hard he was already, how desperate. Except it wasn’t funny, even in a make-fun-of-him way, when Petra gripped Billy through his underwear. He let out a shuddering exhale, clamping his eyes closed and flashing them open again a second later.

“Could you lay off that for a second?” he requested, sounding a little lightheaded himself. “This is kinda already too good to be true, and I don’t want to prematurely ejaculate all over our, you know―”

“Romance,” they said at the same time. (His tone was a little less sarcastic than hers. Ok, a lot.)

Billy grinned and kissed her with a swift peck that bumped Petra’s skull against concrete. This was still Billy, after all. But then, yes, he did have some surprises.

“I hope your hands are clean,” she said seriously as she moved her fingers to his ragged belt loops and he rubbed a little faster across her clit.

“I went to the bathroom right before we stormed the dance, and I always wash my hands. I’m a classy guy.”

Petra snorted out air, but her inhale was all moan. He was hitting her just right. She hadn’t… she hadn’t even told him what to do. If he’d just stroke the tiniest bit to the left. God, he did it.

“What’s your secret?” she gasped.

“Huh?”

She shook her head to tell him nevermind, because she was coming, stretching up on her toes in the stupid shoes that were the only things between her feet and a dirty needle or ancient glob of gum. Billy rubbed more forcefully―and swore significantly more forcefully than that―to pull her through the orgasm and out the other side. Petra didn’t specifically remember closing her eyes, or letting her head slump forward to rest on Billy’s shoulder, but evidently, those things had happened, because here she was, breathing his scent off his T-shirt.

Slowly, he removed his hand, wiping his fingers on the ass of his pants. Petra’s eyes were wide now, staring hard at nothing as she kept her head down for a minute longer, mentally getting a hold of herself. He’d touched her lightly, like she’d said. He’d paid attention to her response and adjusted his technique (though it truly baffled her to think of Billy having a technique for anything―except maybe rolling a joint) accordingly. What could she do… what could she say to that?

“I lied,” Petra admitted. She raised her head and pushed her hair the correct amount off her face.

“Well,” Billy began, smoothing a hand down her arm, “if it’s about something that’s gonna tear my heart to pieces, could you maybe save the truth for later?”

“I like rough and fast,” she said, holding eye contact. “In the past, I’ve tended to be the dominant partner because guys see the black hair, and the black clothes, and the black makeup, and that’s who they want to think I am because they don’t give a shit about who I actually am. But I’m not some Goth fantasy who wants their sexual experiences to revolve around teasing out some asshole’s kinks―a surprising amount of time literally involving their assholes. And I hate light touches,” Petra added. “Usually. Except not with… I guess not with you.”

He was staring at her. He wouldn’t quit staring at her. She was going to have to drive the heel of her horrible shoe into the top of his foot. Then he did something worse than the staring. He said her name, softly.

“Petra.”

She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck like she had when they’d danced and kissed him. He held her―tight, then tighter. Something was surging inside her and it wasn’t the desire to maim that she constantly felt around almost every person inside the building they were standing on top of. This whole thing had been a very dangerous fever dream.

They were kissing fiercely and it terrified Petra, but it was a horror she wanted to wrap herself around. She tasted it, her tongue twined with Billy’s, and nothing had ever been sweeter. Restless, she twisted with and against him, getting her hands to his hips. They broke the kiss wetly and abruptly. Petra stretched the band of Billy’s underwear away from his abdomen, then yanked them and his jeans downward. He leaned back―just his upper body.

“You want me, take me,” she said. “I want you to.”

Billy nodded rapidly and Petra found herself nodding back. She was turning in his arms as he quickly lifted her heinous skirt again. His hand came around, feeling her waist, then dove down, seeking her from the front as his hot erection prodded from behind. With less reluctance than she would’ve had not high on lust, Petra slapped her hands to the well-tagged wall and tilted her hips back. Billy quickly drove in. He was blunt and spontaneous and he started to say something, but Petra reached back and covered his mouth. No apologies necessary for giving her this. She returned her hand to the wall as he dragged back out.

“Oh, Jesus, Petra.”

His breathing sounded shivery. He bucked forward and she stretched into the feeling. Finally, Billy gave up on keeping her dress out of the way and grasped her hips with both hands.

“Please,” whipped out of her mouth before she could press it into her arm. Arms were useful tools for self-defence, physical or verbal, but she didn’t want the first kind and the second had just failed her.

Billy thrust harder and Petra’s eyelids closed briefly as her eyes rolled back. On the next forward swing of his hips, she met him in time and they released an obscene duet of pleased moans. God, they’d circled each other for so long―him: bouncing up and down, her: still and largely silent. Now, Petra considered that she shouldn’t think so harshly about his neglect to anticipate attacks. She’d been blind here. Blind, blind, blind.

She struggled to keep her eyes open. Her nerves were catching and sparking like exposed wiring, hands tensing into fists before she flattened her palms back out on the wall. Billy was in the grips of his desire. He had one arm wrapped firmly around her waist, holding her body to his, and the other making the descent to her clit, which was not so easy now that he was pounding into her, shaking them both. Petra felt his hip bones when he thrust inside and held himself there for a long second. It seemed like he was pushing as hard as he could, feeling all of her, every time. Her spine felt like he’d scratched a match straight down the length.

There was a desperate noise, a needy whimper, and Petra couldn’t place it.

“I know,” Billy told the sound. “I know, I know.” His voice cracked into a groan of craving that made her squeeze around him greedily. “I can’t… much longer.”

Petra dropped one palm from the wall and fumbled for his hand, settling his fingers optimally on her clit. He scrubbed violently and she came in seconds. Yes, he listened, and no, he did not fuck around. The orgasm left her reeling and quaking. She couldn’t tell if she was hot or cold, up or down. Billy kept stroking at her until she moved his hand away. Somehow, their fingers stayed tangled together as he tucked this arm around her too, hugging her from behind. The texture of the cast didn’t matter so much now.

“No condom, I’m guessing,” Petra said as dryly as she could while he continued to do things to her that made her jump and angle her hips for more.

“When am I ever ready for anything?” he panted, laughter just underneath.

She thought quickly as Billy’s thrusts grew shallow.

“On the dress,” she said.

“Don’t mind if I do.”

He pulled out and Petra turned quickly to face him, smoothing the skirt down for a change, to ensure it received the most coverage possible. She was less prepared for watching Billy jerk himself off, and apparently, so was Billy, his eyes a little wild and afraid. Petra slowly looked him up and down, then reached out and slid his t-shirt up his stomach to see more skin. He didn’t stop stroking.

“You look good,” she said, holding his gaze carefully.

Billy’s eyes clamped shut and his forehead crumpled. Petra guided his free hand up to her breast; he gripped. She felt a wave of flush go over her skin as he released in a jagged jet along the skirt. The top was undone anyway, so Petra wriggled out of the rest of it while Billy leaned into her, then hauled him close. She was naked, apart from her shoes.

While her hands climbed up his back under his t-shirt, Billy hiked his pants up and delicately tucked himself back in. Then he fell against her the last tiny bit of the way, his weight pushing her to the wall. Petra laughed and stroked the back of his mohawk flat, then clawed it back the other way with her fingers.

“How long are you gonna let me hold you?” he asked after a minute, speaking into her hair.

Petra turned her face to his shoulder and smiled.

“Until I think of some other way to cover myself. I’m not putting that dress back on.”

“Oh!” He let go of her. “Hang on.”

With a twitchy motion, Billy shrugged out of his black button-down shirt. It got hung up on his cast, so he rotated his arm while tugging the sleeve; Petra stood there, arms crossed over her chest. Shyly, he extended the shirt to her and she slipped into it, noticing him completely turn his head to look away. She buttoned it up. The fact that the shirt would cover her ass solved part of the problem.

Billy’s gaze squiggled over her quickly when he faced her again. His mouth tensed, probably trying to contain a smile. With a steady hand, Petra touched his cheek and lightly kissed his lips.

“I know how we get you out of here,” Billy said, his smile appearing slowly, at the same speed his eyes opened as she drew back.

He reached an arm back and hooked the neck of his t-shirt from behind, tugging it awkwardly over his head. When he got his elbows trapped and started to flail, Petra assisted his escape.

“How is this helping?” she checked, unconsciously clutching his shirt to her stomach.

“Streaking, Pet!”

“Oh god,” she groaned, but as she thought about it, she knew it would work. Mr. ‘I Climb Over Tables Instead of Walking Around Them’ was good at attracting attention.

She gave a half-nod, but Billy was already yanking his pants down, too committed to his harebrained plan to think about her agreeing or not. He caught her looking as he lowered his underwear.

“Next time,” he informed her, “we’re doing my favourite position.”

Petra was still trying to deaden the look in her eyes and keep her gaze over his left shoulder. She sighed heavily for effect.

“Fine. What is it?”

He grinned.

“Missionary.”

Startling herself, Petra let a laugh burst out and shoved Billy by the shoulder, almost toppling him as he idiotically attempted to remove his clothes without taking his shoes off. (Not that she blamed him for keeping protective footwear in place. Fucking Rats’ Nest.)

“You’re not serious,” she shot back.

“You’ll find out.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and straightened up. “Uh, can you hang onto these for me?”

She accepted the rest of his clothes, wadded into a sloppy ball.

“The panties, uh…” Billy floundered.

“You’ll get them back with everything else,” Petra promised. What the hell.

He grinned again.

“Also, next time, condoms.”

She raised an eyebrow. Not at his second use of ‘next time’ though. For Petra, that had been decided before she’d hit the first orgasm. Maybe even before they’d gotten up to the roof.

“You’re not actually going to buy them, are you?”

Billy scoffed, swinging his arms, naked apart from his sneakers, already almost in motion.

“What do you take me for? Some capitalist dupe? I’ll steal ‘em like a good boy.”

“What a relief,” she said.

“What is?”

“Just, you.”

He blushed.

“’K, if we ever wanna do this again, I gotta run.” Billy sprang forward and kissed her on the cheek. “Love you, Petra. Gimme a head start.”

She stood in the Rats’ Nest doorway, holding Billy’s clothes, and watched his bare ass as he bolted for the stairway. He flung the door open and pounded away down the stairs screeching ‘London Calling’ at the top of his lungs.

Glancing at the dress she’d intentionally walked across on her way out, Petra smiled wickedly at the thought that she could come back up here and burn it. Maybe bring Billy.

Quietly, she hopped the box of broken bottles and ran to the stairs, heading for her dorm. Billy’s voice was echoing everywhere. She wondered what trouble she was going to have to help him fight his way out of when Master Lin picked his punishment. Moron just had to be a hero.

#my writing #rats' waltz #deadly class #billy bennett #petra yolga #billy x petra #petra x billy #billy bennett x petra yolga #petra yolga x billy bennett #fanfiction #deadly class fanfiction #deadly class fanfic

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wholerestart-blog · 5 years

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The War on Wrinkles

New Post has been published on https://wholerestart.com/the-war-on-wrinkles/

The War on Wrinkles

Recently I read an article that suggested that someday we may treat aging as a disease. While those days may not happen in my lifetime the war on wrinkles is real. The veritable fountain of youth and the search for younger healthier looking skin has become an obsession.

While most are attempting to correct the damage they’ve done by applying this or that magical cream they are often failing to recognize that this is a band-aid solution for a bigger issue.

If you search the internet for anti-aging products or even which are the best anti-aging products you can read hundreds of opinions that mention hundreds of different products with no real consistency. It can be really confusing to decide what you should be using.

Believe it or not, wrinkled skin like many things can be a sign of how you’re treating your body and your skin.

What causes wrinkles?

Age causes wrinkles although there are many things that can accelerate the process. In general, as we age the skin becomes less able to protect itself because it is thinner, drier and less elastic. This is because the production of collagen declines with age.

Collagen is a protein made up of amino acids which helps our skin, hair, nails and connective tissue stay strong and healthy. It makes up 70% of the protein in our skin. An age-induced decline in the production of Collagen and Hyaluronic Acid are two of the most important quotients of the anti-aging war. It is only made worse by how we are treating our skin.

The War on Wrinkles: Preventing Premature Aging

When it comes to the health of our skin, there are many things within our control. Regardless of your age today whether you are 20 or 70 you can slow the aging process of the skin by following a few simple rules.

Sunscreen: Imagine laying on a beach with no sunscreen for an hour and a half. I bet there is no way that most of us would do that. Yet, if you are exposed to the sun for just 12 minutes every day of the week you’ve been in the sun for 90 minutes! Even if it is through a window as you read your favorite book or work at your desk. UVB can cause skin damage.

Applying sunscreen every day is a must, especially on your face, hands, chest, and neck where you are exposed most often. Don’t forget about your little people who are on a playground every day for 30-45 minutes!

Up to 80% of visible changes attributed to aging may be caused by the sun. However, going without sun is also dangerous. Our bodies need 8-10 minutes of midday sunlight, specifically UV light, per day to make Vitamin D. Vitamin D is critical for calcium absorption, healthy immune system and it may prevent some types of cancer and prevent and treat diabetes, high blood pressure, and multiple sclerosis. So what should you do? This seems like a conundrum.

Good news, no studies have ever found that daily use of sunscreen will cause vitamin D insufficiency. For example, SPF 50 sunscreen filters out 98% of the UVB rays, meaning that 2% still reach the skin. Yes, it’s a win/win so be fanatical about your sunscreen. Go for at least 15 SPF daily, I like this one with all natural products. I also like this one by Farmacy, if you can get it in stock that is. They can’t keep it on the shelves it’s so popular.

Sugar

Aside from the many other reasons you shouldn’t eat sugar lets add premature aging. Eating processed sugar glycates the collagen.

When we eat too many high glycemic index foods the sugar molecules bind with the protein molecules in a harmful way producing Advanced Glycation Endoproducts (AGE’s rather appropriately!). Effects of AGE glycation include age spots, hyperpigmentation, fine lines and wrinkles, dull skin, sagging and bagging, uneven skin tone, tumors, and degradation of collagen.

UV exposure accelerates the formation of AGE’s. It’s a vicious circle. Read my earlier post about a diet low in sugar here.

Smoking

Smoking decreases oxygen to the skin by 40%. The Nicotine in cigarettes causes narrowing of blood vessels in the outermost layers of skin which means your skin is deprived of not just oxygen but also critical vitamins.

In addition, many of the 4,000 plus chemicals in tobacco smoke damage collagen and elastin. This causes the skin to sag and wrinkle.

Last, the continued pursing of the lips and squinting of the eyes to avoid smoke also contribute to the formation of wrinkles.

Not Exfoliating

Exfoliating regularly from an early age can help you avoid wrinkles for longer. Starting at any point won’t hurt. The exfoliation sends a message to the middle skin layer to make more collagen. It supercharges the fibroblasts in your skin for collagen production.

There are many different ways to exfoliate your skin either physically or chemically. Any way you go, go gently so as not to cause damage. Do this once per week. Sunday night is my skin pampering night!

Physical exfoliation: A Clarisonic will exfoliate skin and stimulate collagen production. In addition, a scrub with coffee granules or sugar will exfoliate the skin.

Chemical Exfoliation: This is not as bad as it sounds. A chemical peel can be performed at home with a natural fruit peel. I like this one by Andalou which is organic, non-GMO, gluten-free, vegan, Sustainable, Fair Trade, cruelty-free, and naturally derived. Plus it is very affordable and smells yummy! My other favorite is this one by Naturopathica, slightly less affordable but works very well.

Magical creams and the like…

Now I will admit there are a few magical things that will indeed help to erase or improve the appearance of lines, wrinkles and even stretch marks. Below are a few you can use to fight the war on wrinkles.

Microneedling – You can read my post about it but it is by far one of the best ways to increase collagen production. Your skin will glow and look visibly younger. It can even help erase stretch marks.

Hyaluronic Acid– Naturally occurring in the skin, this acid is what is responsible for the skin’s moisture. As we age the production of the acid decreases meaning our skin is drier and wrinkles and fine lines appear worse.

Taking a supplement or applying a serum can be great for making the skin look better. There are other surprising health benefits to Hyaluronic Acid which you can read about here. Since it is naturally occurring in the skin, no voodoo magic is required. This serum by True Skin has a cult following on Amazon and I personally love it.

Retinol– Retinol is vitamin A, which is found in food and also used as a supplement. It works by making the skins surface turnover surface cells more quickly. It also hampers the breakdown of collagen and thickens the deeper layer of skin where the wrinkles start. There are many myths about Retinol. Before condemning it, I suggest doing some research on your own. I use this product by Murad. Remember that Retinol takes a very long time to show results. Be patient, consistency is the key.

Supplement– Help your body create Hyaluronic Acid. Because of its size taking a Collagen supplement is not effective. However, eating Collagen Hydrosolate or Peptides in your smoothies will help your body produce Hyaluronic Acid. Try my Chocolate Covered Cherry Smoothie or my Paleo Banana Smoothie which both contain collagen hydrosolate.

Winning the War on Wrinkles

We’re all getting older and age is inevitable. Being comfortable with our bodies is important but taking care of the body you have, to prevent it from turning into a shriveled raisin is sound advice.

In review

Do use a Sunscreen each day to protect your skin and prevent premature aging

Do exfoliate, at least once per week.

Do use a moisturizer or serum with Hyaluronic Acid and Retinol every night.

Don’t eat to much sugar

Don’t use nicotine.

Take care of your skin!

#anti aging #beauty #looking young #skin #war on wrinkles #wrinkles

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