#like we kept it alive it’s for us
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If I'm honest, the whole "love in every stitch" saying for fiber artists does not apply to me, like. I'm trying to get this fucking hook into stubborn yarn and I'll be stabbing it like it owed me money. Is that love because I hope not 😭💀
#art#crochet#honestly the closest thing i feel to love when crocheting is this feeling that this is bigger than me if that makes sense...#...i think it'sthe feeling of knowing how old the craft itself is and knowing that millions of people have done the same as you...#...millions of people have stabbed their crochet hook into the yarn because it's stubborn but so are you...#...millions of people in the past have sat and devoted their time and effort into all of this...#...millions of people have passed on this knowledge and kept this thing alive...#...and it's the feeling of knowing that humans across millenia aren't THAT different#to our core we are more or less similar - across the ages across the colours across everything. that really comforts and humbles me#have you looked up ancient textiles? because that also sparks these emotions in me#it makes me think about the tupes of people to make the textile but also about who wore it#and so many of them are still beautiful and colourful and it shows you SO MUCH about the people who made them#even the ones that are tattered and faded and stripped of colour still feel beautiful...#...because it has SURVIVED. it is evidence of a people who made it and a people who had technical skills#and THIS is why i HATE HATE HATE the idea that ancient people were just 'dumb' and 'uneducated'#that is so unfair to them and cruel and just. wrong. (and often it reeks of white supremacy)#i'm sorry i rant and rave about this so much but i canNOT be normal about this. i can't be normal about humanity#i am learning to love humanity and learn about us and learn everything and it'll never be enough - i will never know enough#i will never know everything about everybody and it will be the death of me#okay the only thing i liked about the greatest showman movie was Never Enough because that is me thinking about all this
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I honestly dont trust Ollie either. I do wonder if he’s tried to tell drew to not trust daddy or pops. Cause like poppy Ollie seems to not care of the bigger bodies die or live.
“Poppy ain’t perfect, but trust me when I tell you that she cares. But you’re right about one thing, I don’t trust Ollie worth a shit.”
(This is a joke, please do not take this seriously! I thought it was funny)
#no Poppy slander in this clown car/lh#okay but seriously I ADORE Poppy’s whole character#OML I could ramble for ages but I’ll keep it short for tags sake#Poppy cares so much and I will die on this hill#she wants to be free; she wants to expose/uncover the company’s secrets so that SOMEONE knows what happened to them#she wants to LIVE#Yes Poppy kept us from leaving but she said it herself#she NEEDS the player. she physically can’t do anything on her own#and we see through her interactions with Kissy that she DOES want to save who she can- remember that she had no idea Dogday was alive!#likely why she never says anything about it#SO#What Poppy is doing; trapping the player. forcing them into this savior role so that she and anyone they can find can be saved#is incredibly human of her#trading the freedom of the one for the validation and seeing and possible freedom of the many is so human#and I adore it so deeply#phrart#art#ask phrog#poppy playtime#ask the three d’s#the three d’s#Ollie ain’t shit though lmao#that’s GOT TO be the prototype#poppy playtime chapter 3#poppy poppy playtime#will smith meme
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I do kinda love the thought that it was Lucifer that kept Sam alive in Red Meat because truly what better way to show the levels of possession both Dean and Lucifer feel like they have over him. Sam can't die until either of them let him and they just won't let him.
#sam winchester#lucifer#this is probably not an original thought but please give me the benefit of the doubt I'm watching spn for the first time in 2022#also I do like that they don't tell us what was going on with Sam in that episode so that we can say it was Lucifer#dean and Lucifer obsessed in their own ways with sam#sams ‘you kept me alive for you’ speech went in one of deans ears and out the other#spn#yeah I guess this counts as#samifer
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hrm. Post-future Steven and Greg heart-to-heart where Greg comes to the realization that the thing he accidentally had in common with his son growing up was a near complete lack of privacy, just in a different way to what he was used to as a kid.
#Greg trying not to let the guilt of that eat him alive because when he starts blaming himself Steven is like#''no no dad it sucked but it wasn't your fault we were just homeless at the time and then the house was so expensive to build already-''#and Greg just grasps him by the shoulders and is like. Son it doesn't matter. Neither of us should have had to live like that#idk i just need them to actually bond over the mutual messed up childhoods that they kept stopping themselves from discussing with each oth
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"i like to packbond with everything" is um. a really fucking concerning statement to make when discussing AI, especially the question of if AI can reach sentience. that really should be the very first alarm bell you learn to watch for when you get into studying AI 😬
#i never formally went into AI research due to a mixture of disdain for the majority of commercial AI products + undergrad almost killing me#but ive kept up more or less with where things are at and like#a) we are still using a statistical model#b) we still dont understand how the brain utilizes its heuristics to switch between them#which is first of all the main failure of AI to generalize (or even just not hyper specialize)#when you compare it to the human brain like#the brain has all kinds of weird statistical models (approximately) right#these are heuristics#just ways of determining is thing x#we can more or less do this task with AI!#the PROBLEM is that the brain then can determine Which Heuristic Is Most Appropriate (more or less)#we have no fucking clue how it does that#or really how the feedback loop of learning actually works for meat#the statistical model was sort of our first/most popular attempt to try simulating a feedback learning loop in the brain#and like. mixed results! again! AI can't generalize and we dont even know how the brain works properly#so my personal opinion is that we cannot simulate the human brain any better with current approaches to the problem#and like. if we cant even simulate the bare bones functionality of the brain.#how the everliving fuck do you think it can simulate thought or existence?#we dont know how that works either but like its clearly generated by SOMETHING in the brains functionality#without that you got no hope of a sentient computer#flat out. it isnt happening.#what we DO know though is that the human brain is an anthropomorphizing machine#it can interpret anything as alive or humanlike#we know however this is a fucking trap in regards to intellectual pursuits#ergo: talking about pack bonding and AI study in the same breath?#you are victim to one of the human brain's fondest delusions and it will hold you back from truly studying anything on the topic#yelling at the void
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can i be honest and say that the idea of danganronpa being a tv show where the tv actors are legit murdered on live television, and thats just that, never made sense to me.
i know we get vagueries of the world being all rotten and fucked up and its not like i deny this! but i think a big corrupt tv company that has a death grip on the worlds attention would want its actors around after the season ends for contracting shit, merch ads, interviews, etc etc etc.
it just makes more sense to me then actually killing off popular characters and basically never being able to do anything w them again bc you fucking killed the actor playing them. VR au just makes so much sense yknow
#im thinking abt this from like a corrupt capitalism standpoint#i do enjoy the usual art/fic of the survivors coping in a fucked world w/o their friends ofc#i just think. Personally. theyre all kept alive#if i was a greedy ceo id keep my golden goose (kokichi) alive for constant corporate harassment#like um no sir you signed this contract we wiped from your brain before putting you under so you belong to US now#NOW GET UP THERE AND POSE FOR THE CEREAL COMMERCIAL.#also partially related to the topic but i think tsumugi is as much as a pawn as the other characters#she was simply allowed to write the basic structure of the plot and was given the mastermind role#i totally think team DR meddled with her story tho lmao
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"will wouldn't like musicals" he literally has a little shop of horrors poster on his wall AND loves music AND loves movies. shut up.
#i need to stop reading the tags on posts i need to just. talk to myself even more than i already do online#music literally saved his life and is what kept him alive it was all he had and it's gotten him through terrible times both in the upside#down and when his parents were fighting like GOD can we like . can we stop stripping will down to nothing. can we use our eyeballs please#and work on building up our memory for when we say things with our whole chest like 😭😭😭😭
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favorite thing about playing a DnD campaign module: finding out how much we deviated from the original module's plan
#ttrpg#dungeons and dragons#rise of tiamat#I don't read ahead but I do sometimes backread#out of curiosity#my group and I are good at not metagaming too much#but anyway apparently Cyanwrath was supposed to die WAY early#but we kept that fucker alive#WE'RE LIKE 2 CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE ENDGAME#AND HE'S GETTING A REDEMPTION ARC#WE USED A REVIVIFY ON HIM AFTER WE SAW HIM GET STABBED#it's so funny#Rezmir's alive too but she's not getting redeemed
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idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..
#it’s been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until today….#and it’s like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop#but on the other hand i can’t just abandon him#and it’s like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him#and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didn’t do anything to me and i can’t really explain it but he just wasn’t himself#and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week#it’s been like 5 times since december#but 3 have been on the past month alone#and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident#and like i’m not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved#and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldn’t be w him if it kept happening#and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again#by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive#and like. idk what to do#i really don’t want to be w someone like this#and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i don’t want this i hate feeling like this#but i also can’t abandon him#like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldn’t feel good leaving him alone#but like i don’t want to live like this#maybe i’ll ask for some time to just figure things out#but it’s gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg#i don’t wanna leave but i don’t want things to be like this either#and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk#i just don’t know what to do#i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i can’t abandon him:(#and our 1.5 anniversary was also next week…..#but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now
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#they're the best characters your honour#i feel so many ways about gansey and the pig#like you could say gansey (narratively speaking) serves as the vehicle for the story; despite the fact that he was supposed to die#and even tho the pig keeps breaking down gansey keeps forcing it to power through#just like how he forces himself to keep going even as his time is running out#i don't remember if this actually happens but the pig eventually runs on magic instead of its engine#which is a parallel to gansey being kept alive with magic (noah and cabeswater's sacrifice)#and as for crowley; I think the bentley embodies everything that he's trying to supress#we see this more clearly when aziraphale is driving it and it willingly lets him change its colour; the music; and the speed#i always found it interesting that whilst crowley keeps trying to convince aziraphale he's not the way he is bc he's a demon#he also uses his demonic aesthetics as something to hide behind; just like how his sunglasses act as a wall between him and everyone else#he lets aziraphale assume he's used a gun before and he leans into the whole “demons lie” rhetoric#and yet the bentley is the most honest version of him we get to see bc it exists without restrictions (aside from the ones crowley imposes)#anyways it's probably not that deep lol#gansey#crowley#good omens#trc#the bentley#the pig
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visited my grandma at the care home today 🫶🏽 good to see her altho everytime i leave i have to think Don't borrow grief from the future over n over while she's here
#txt#she recognized me n my brother > yay#she kept asking and talking abt my deceased grandpa whom she divorced before i was even alive > :(#kept asking the same questions over n over which is. you know the basics. but it's truly so hard i used to talk to her for over two hours#on the phone. like we would gossip and watch novelas and she would cook for me and teach me things and now its like.#Yes shes there . No she isnt. ugh#anyways sorry for the bummer lol
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“Recruit new Chosen, and gather them here for me to confer with. I need many, and they must be different from my daughters and from each other, for that kinship was another misstep. Yet, we both know how rarely the needed loyalty and strength are found together — and above all, I must have those I can trust.”
I have not stopped thinking about this since I read it yesterday. Makes me wanna eat drywall
#OOC / HOLLY.#like yeah it was a misstep but I'm still pissed at Mys.tra for saying it like this#she created the Seven to be used as tools. she used and destroyed both Elué and Dornal to do it#she intentionally split them up and delivered them to traumatizing childhoods to control them#they had no true choice in becoming her Chosen#i.e. when the Simbul denied it initially Mysta fought her til she was worn down#she has used them up and burnt them down and mangled every inch of their lives#she has treated her other faithful with more respect frankly#the Seven are special. they are distinct from the other faithful. but that's not necessarily good#it becomes clear that they're nor mortal and they're not divine; they're just outside of every classification#and to Mys.tra what are they but extensions of herself; incarnations of her will; a means to an end#she has never truly moved beyond seeing them that way#AT BEST it's like having a favorite work horse. oh sure you care about and for them#but they are still an animal kept for a purpose and you will put them down or sell them off when they don't work anymore#even now she's charged El with keeping one of them always alive so she has a backup when she dies again#she hasn't specified a particular one just keep a backup#'that kinship was a mistake' you are their MOTHER#so we circle back to how she's never just their mother. she is a mother to everyone; the mother of magic and mother of mysteries#mother is the same as goddess for them#again I say Mys.tra with the Seven is NO DIFFERENT from Bha.al with the Bha.alsp.awn
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i think i took a w today with some no.rton mains
#i was teamed with ... (corny ass dreamy sigh) A NORTON MAIN WITH A TROUBADOUR SKIN WEEEEEEE#HE KEPT SAVING MEEEEE HE WAS SO BALLSY WITH THE HUNTER TOO LIKE LIKE I GOT CAUGHT DUE TO MY PING BEING SHIT BUT HE KEPT ON SAVING MEEEE#he literally healed me in FRONT of the hunter omg he was so ballsy dude i was going insane MWLMLKDADJFSKJFFS (i was playing DOCTOR/EMILY!!)#AND THEN WHEN HE GOT ME OFF THE CHAIR HE PROPELLED ME AWAY FROM THE HUNTER WITH HIS MAGNET... HE WAS PROTECTING MEEE FROM THE HUNTERRRRRR E#HE JUST KEPT COMING BACK TO RESCUE ME I JUST KWLKWLKWLW KICKING MY FEET BRO I WAS SO#he used one of the pre written messages in game when i was trapped. he said “stay put. im coming!” oh my hero Oh MY HEROOOOOO ILOVE YOUUU#AND THEN ANOTHER GAME. THE UNFORGIVING FOOL.S GOLD MAIN . WE BASICALLY LOST THE GAME BUT#I WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT “ALIVE” AND HE KINDA JUST. LET ME ESCAPE VIA DUNGEON.... WHY DID HE LET ME GO....#maybe the hunter took pity on me because finding a dungeon can be rare in a game sometimes so he just... let me escape... :pleading:#we still lost that match for sure but ... he spared MY LIFE CHAT#idk im so fuckignh giggly abt these im so.
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i dream of being able to go get a couples massage but instead of w the love of my life it’s w my colon & she finally gets what the FUCK has been WRONG w her WORKED out 😭🙄
#stream#GET A GRIP#I HATE BEING ALIVE#i need to make a new tag where it’s literally just posts of my pussy causing my suffering#shitter nation#that’s it#that’s the one#swag#i say swag so innocuously that my chinese flatmate will just say it too & it makes me laugh like u know when someone has like an affirmation#& start saying it it’s that except i feel bad kind of bc the way i use it is literally butchering the word#me sitting on the bus & it stops: swag#it’s just so fucking funny ALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKALAKSLA like I CANT HELP IT IM CONSTANTLY SAYING IT MY BROTHER GOT ME STARTED DOING IT LIKE#THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#anyway#my family got hit by the hurricane yesterday & thank fucking GOD that PINE FELL IN THE OPPOSITE DIECTION bc YALL#literally it would’ve taken out the bedrooms#like the whole root system has TIPPED#but do we know why ? YES WE FUCKING DO & ITS BC FATHER KEPT CUTTING DOWN ALL THE BRANCHES bc ‘it’ll damage the roof!’ which i mean in this#case … FAIR …. BUT ALSO IN THIS CASE IT WAS SOOO TOP HEAVY#i mean like they always made ME afraid bc u can see them sway but i just thought ‘like a sailboat u need a mountain of a wave to tip’ &#hurricanes ? are the mountain … BUT SHE LASTED DURING ALL THE OTHERS#LITERALLY ALL OF THE OTHERS like this tree is older than the house & the house is OLD [FOR AMERICA] it was built in the late 70s/early 80s#like she took HARVEY & IKE FINE#which i was there during but i worry abt them bc of the lack of cell service wifi & power but i know its over so its just clean up now#sucks to be my brother bc my father sent pics of him w an axe having to cut the tipped tree from the road lmfao#wait why is he using an axe we literally have a chainsaw#probably bc the tree’s wet & it’ll fuck up the chain & it has to be out of the road bc that’s where it landed btw lmfao it was house or road#& it’s in the road thank FUCK - NO DAMAGE TO ANY CARS literally we were sooooooo LUCKY#ANYWAY i’m only on a few hours of sleep & tired & my knee kills bc it actually got damaged during the omar assault so ive a new knee brace#swag … :( im just so tired. i’m so over constantly feeling like im being watched 24/7 it has genueinly put so much stress on me
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just finished bojack horseman for the first time…
#so like woah#I have mixed feelings on whether or not I’m glad they kept BoJack alive#TVFHD was quite possibly the best episode of television I have ever seen#it was the perfect way for BoJack to confront his mortality and the fact that he always thinks he’s going to ‘wake up’#but keeping him alive also forces him to confront his mortality: how long will he spend being a shitty person how many days will he waste#will he ever change? i’d like to think so. i feel as tho bojack’s death#whenever it arrives for him#will be once again similar to TVFHD#sorry I’m stoned i need to shut up#But anyways the idea that shit happens and we think it’s the end of the world but it’s really not and eventually we move on#And we don’t always realize we’ve moved on/what has passed us until it is so far gone it’s almost laughable#bojack lives to see another day. sunlight shines on all the bad choices he’s made sure but sun shines on all the chances he has to change#And be better#BoJack horseman#j watches#shaggy’s stash#j’s thoughts
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Maeglin had to grow up so fast and yet he died so young, too. somethingsomething dior parallel and the difference having a loving parent vs. an abusive parent can make
#Maeglin was abused and suffered severe trauma and never got the healing he needed for it#I don’t think he ever stopped looking over his shoulder even after Eöl dies#he tried to make Gondolin his home but he probably suffered from severe anxiety and depression and never felt like he belonged#probably always blamed himself for his mother and father’s deaths#of course maeglin gave in to Melkor’s torture and of course he would make deals that in his mind protect his loved ones#he was told he’d be given lordship of Gondolin and Idril’s hand in marriage#fucked up. yes#but in his mind after being tortured both physically and mentally by literal Satan#he told himself the if he’s given lordship of the city then that means there will be a city with inhabitants left to rule#and Idril will be kept alive#not making excuses but I can see the reasoning#and again when you consider that he’s quite young for an elf & was probably never that mentally stable in the first place#I just. poor thing#and when you remember the books are supposed to be translations & technically up for interpretation?#boom. bias has become introduced#you cannot stop me#anyways we both had a parent that abused us and made us wish we were never born#and that’s why I’ll defend maeglin to the grave :) thank you very much :)
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