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dourpeep · 3 years

Note

IT WAS 2AM WHEN I SENT THAT SO I HELD BACK MY SIMPING FOR COLLEGE ALBEDO A LITTLE. tried not to send all my brainrot so I didn't just send a wall of text into your inbox LOL. Some others I thought of were:

- Mona giving astrology forecasts and compatibility readings in this au and Albedo may have asked her about the two of you

- Going to botanical gardens or museums with Albedo but for some reason it feels like a date even when it didn't intent to be. You tug on his sleeve now and then when you see something he might be interested in or even when it's something that excites you, and Albedo can't help but have a soft look in his eyes that he can share this moment with you! Somehow it results in the two of you holding hands - just so neither of you stray from each other of course - and eventually, intertwined fingers. You hear someone say that the two of you seem like a cute couple and you know Albedo heard it too, but neither of you say anything. You feel his hand squeeze yours a little tighter and respond in kind. The two of you are too embarrassed to look at each other but can't help the smiles on your faces.

- Lending Albedo some of your favourite books for pleasure reading and you've left tiny tabs on lines that you like. Perhaps this is before Albedo realizes his feelings so when he reads particularly romantic lines, he wonders if this is how he feels about you. Or did you mark these pages because you feel this way about someone? His stomach is in knots to the thought that you may be intrested in someone that isn't him and he settles for it just being prose.

WHAT YOU WROTE WAS SO CUTE AAA. THANK YOU FOR SIMPING FOR COLLEGE BEDO WITH ME!!

Tugging his hand and not letting go omg . . . you tend to just intertwine pinkies or play with his fingers absent-mindedly that Albedo becomes so accustomed to it so he starts to offer you his hands without a second thought.

WAIT. I gasped at Albedo being a cuddler. He's a little delirious when he first wakes up but you're so comfy that he hugs you a little tighter, asking if you've slept well. You try to reply while worrying about whether or not he can feel your heart thrumming in your chest.

What if Klee is staying with Albedo one night and the three of you fall asleep cuddled up together. Alice comes back early in the morning before any of you are awake and takes a picture. She sends it to Albedo later and he sets it as his phone's wallpaper.

Albedo staring at your lips winded me, thank you.

YES TO THE SWEATERS. I bet Albedo would have the softest and coziest sweaters too! Imagine it being a little cold out and you see Albedo across campus so you bound over to him and give him a hug. You nuzzle into him and mumble out a little 'hello' and say he's warm. You feel his laugh rumble through his chest while he greets you back, wrapping his arms around you

And I LOVE ALL YOUR HEADCANONS! I believe I found your blog around the time you posted Albedo's snort headcanon and it was too much for my heart!! I held tight to that headcanon and never let go lol. I also thought the science + college headcanons you had of him were really nice despite not being necessarily romantic!

Side note: I looked up that lobster fact and that's so cool!!

The Lobster Fact(tm) is my go-to ice breaker and it always fails. I'd imagine it's normally the same w/ Bedo OTL so sad...not many wish to know about potential lobster immortality.

I'm glad that you love the headcanons though!! I enjoy writing for Albedo so so much as you can tell ehe

That being said--if it makes you more comfy to send stuff in a few bursts of asks, I don't mind :DD I'll answer them as usual nodnod

OKIE DOKIE

"...Mona, yes?"

"Ah, I was expecting you to come around sooner or later, Kreideprinz."

Really, Albedo didn't mean to stumble upon the Astronomy major, but for some reason the thought of you has been on his mind and the campus' observatory just so happened to be on the way. With the meager hope that...maybe he'd find some sort of answer (in what, he wasn't really sure himself), there she was.

Luckily, she knew just what he was there for.

The moment that she twirls her hand with a wave, telling him that there isn't anything to worry about, the apprehension creeping within his chest at the thought of seeing you next-

disappeared.

It's not often that he turns to less orthodox methods, but he wouldn't lie. Knowing that--at least in Mona's opinion (which tended to be correct, anyway)--the two of you were undoubtly compatible? Something about how your constellations were intertwined...

In fact, Albedo turns a little theory around in his mind. Though based in old folktales, the idea that you gravitate towards those who are made of the very same stardust as yourself, suddenly made sense.

Or, perhaps he was just being hopeful.

Little does he know that you most definitely asked Mona about the same thing earlier that day.

AHHHHH BUT OF COURSE-

Any of those kinds of places--Botanical Gardens, Art Museums, Aquariums, Zoos, Museums in general--Any place where you're able to utterly lose yourself in your surroundings and look around in awe, really, are your go-to date outing destination!

Usually, it's just the two of you, maybe with Sucrose or Timaeus if it's for a particular class, as well as the occasional Klee in tow whenever Alice is busy with work.

But in this case, fingers interlocked, it's just the two of you on a impromptu trip to the art museum downtown after seeing a promotional banner about a new exhibit. Once inside, you rush along, Albedo trailing close behind with a light squeeze of your hand. The large area used for temporary exhibits isn't far from the entrance, so it's not long until you skid to a stop.

All along the walls are incredibly detailed oil paintings, the thin layered strokes glistening in the light. Albedo takes a moment to whisper to you about how oil paint works.

Due to the thinness of the paint and it's transparency, light passes through every carefully placed stroke, allowing for a unique sort of depth that isn't achievable with other painting media. You smile, the artificial light of the art exhibit making your features glow and Albedo can't help but wonder if you are like those paintings.

So complex, so carefully created in an image perfected with time. Your eyes search his and you say his name and Albedo clears his throat when he realizes he's been staring.

"Do you like this one?"

Ah, you must've assumed he took a liking to this particular painting.

His eyes shift back to it, taking in the sight of the balance of color, the composition, then back to you. He only stares a second longer before nodding.

Whether or not you realize the view he likes is you is something that he dwells on as you both make your way to the next painting.

If you had a penny for every time that someone comments on the way you compliment each other, you'd probably be able to pay off your tuition for next semester.

Okay, perhaps not, but the idea still stands.

You're only just at the end of the art exhibit when the security guard wishes the two of you a lovely date. Something about how young love is something to be treasured, something about how the two of you already seem so natural and comfortable in each other's presence.

Before you can mumble out an explanation, Albedo just squeezes your hand, gentle as always, and smiles.

It's a compliment, right? For someone to see how close you are, even if you really are just friends, is a good thing.

Ignoring the warmth that spreads over your cheeks, you smile and turn your head away shyly. Squeezing his hand back, the thought of what it'd be like if you were together crosses your mind.

Just as you lend books to him, he lends books to you. Surprisingly, this time it just so happens to be a poetry book--something that you expressed interest in a week ago but ended up not getting.

Within, he's left colorful notes with his neat, slanted writing.

Short discussions (presumably questions to himself) of what the poet must've been thinking, different possible scenarios, are peppered throughout the book. But one just so happens to catch your eye. Rather than a question, it's a statement. Simple, short, and...sweet.

'You carry the aura of the stars.'

The little yellow sticky note pasted beneath a love poem to the night sky stands out. Suppressing a flutter in your chest, you continue reading through the poem book with a few giggles at Albedo's musings until you find a note with most of the words crossed out.

It's entirely unlike him, the way that the dark ink scribbled over the words, making them illegible.

But at the bottom was a continued attempt--one you presume he was satisfied with by the way it lay pristine on the colorful paper.

'You look. I fail to speak.

Your mind, so brilliant as it is I wish to see behind To further appreciate the one I love.

I can only hope one day you shall let me in, So for now I wait patiently by your side.'

Who could he have written this for? You can't help but stare at the poetic attempt, knowing full well that Albedo seldom does something without meaning.

The book closes and you tuck it back on the shelf to ask about later.

AAAAA YESYESYESYES I LOVE THAT CUDDLE PILE W/ ALBEDO AND KLEE

Even though Albedo's a grade A student and certified genius (he's adamant in his denial, shaking his head and mumbling about how he just studies hard), he's not entirely a stickler for rules.

Well, that is, Aunt Alice's suggestion that Klee goes to bed by 9.

Instead, the three of you settle in the common room of Albedo's place in a bundle of pillows and blankets at the demands of a pillow fort.

The tv blinks on accompanied by the near silent click of the remote.

"What should we watch?"

Klee always ends up picking the movie. This time, she wants Alice in Wonderland, commenting on how the bunny is like her best friend Dodoco and the blonde girl on screen is named after mommy. Albedo doesn't bother correcting her, even though he knows quite well that dear, sweet Dodoco is a chinchilla.

Between sips of juice and a few mouthfuls of popcorn, the three of you fall asleep, Klee curled up besides you and Albedo's arm draped over you both.

Even when the sun is up in the sky, you sleep peacefully.

So, naturally, Aunt Alice has a spare key just in case something like this happens.

Immediately she's met with the sweetest view--her two kids (she's practically adopted Albedo as her own at this point) and--

Hiding a cheeky smile behind her hand, Alice can't help but sneak a little closer when she spies the way that you and Albedo somehow gravitated closer, his face buried in your hair and yours resting against his collar. Wedged between you with tousled hair, Klee snoozes peacefully.

She snaps a picture, followed by another, and another, and a fourth for good measures before meandering into the kitchen to prep something for breakfast.

Might as well let her three favorite people enjoy the comfort of sleep for a little longer...

You wake up the moment that Klee wiggles her way out of the blankets, nuzzling against the warmth radiating under your cheek.

Nice and cozy. Smells nice...wait.

Eyes fluttering open, you're met with a familiar birthmark and the nearly gone scent of Albedo's cologne.

You nearly pull away until the arm, now wrapped around your waist, pulls you closer accompanied by a satisfied sigh. Ah. You shut your eyes tight when you realize that Albedo's going to be asleep for at least another thirty minutes, resigning to your fate gladly.

Of course, Alice takes the opportunity to snap a few more pictures when you've finally fallen back asleep.

YES ALSO ALSO

Speaking of Albedo and sweaters and warm and also the just mentioned cologne. A little fun tidbit--not only are you familiar with the scent of his cologne because he wears it often, but it (in this au) is actually one that you picked out some time back. You probably were at the store together smelling some of the perfumes when you came across one that you were pleasantly surprised by.

Specifically, something that's lightly floral, a little warm but sweet with a hint of earthiness.

The pros? It fits Albedo perfectly! It also kinda sticks well and his place faintly smells of it.

The cons?? Well...you're embarrassed to say that hugging Albedo tends to drag on a little longer than anticipated because it's just such a comforting scent-

Not because you associate it with Albedo or anything-

Ehe

Man I really went to town again, didn't I?? Well, I'm glad that you enjoy my headcanons :DDD Albedo just seems like such a sweet person??? Like endearing in a way that just is...him. If that makes sense.

Brain go brrrrrr

I'll admit that my favorite headcanons for Bedo are mundane and domestic ones though! Like these! Just the little moments where there's nothing really going on except for him and you and ahhhh yesyesyes

Okay that's all-

#anon asks #albedo #albedo headcanons #genshin impact albedo #albedo x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact fics #genshin impact drabbles #modern au #college au #modern au albedo

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shotorozu · 3 years

Note

hellooo,, i saw another tiktok video(and since ur like the elite on writing this type of reqs im requesting to you aha) https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJYsk4CY/ for shoto, kaminari and monoma (if u write for him) ty 💕

‘bae lol’

(the greenscreen heart, then kiss tiktok trend)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, monoma neito (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] for monoma reader’s a part of class 1-A, they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specific

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : oh, i absolutely love AND hate this trend, it’s mostly bc im single though :,) not like i can get a partner in the pandemic. anyways! i love your thinking, anon <3 also no proofread bc its like,, 2am here </3 will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

he’s very aware of your tiktok antics, but out of all of the ones you’ve pulled on him, and asked him to do

he loves this one the most.

because shouto doesn’t have to get the lights scared out of him, and it doesn’t have a chance in ending terribly.

you brisk towards your room, knowing that shouto rests inside— “shou!” you call out to him, and he tilts his head up

“Y/N, tell me it’s not—”

“no, i swear!” you drop next to him on the bed, and you play the video. “this would be fun to do, right?”

he doesn’t say anything at first, but he definitely wants to do it, judging by the fact that he’s replaying the tiktok over and over again.

abruptly standing up, he tugs at your wrist “let’s do it.” he says with determination hinted in his voice

you’d think that he’d get the hang of doing tiktoks because of you but LMAO NO— the greenscreen failed you both multiple times in a span of 40 minutes.

the first take, the heart was blurry, the second take, the kiss was captured seconds before the kiss, and the third take— your phone fell 💀

plus, his movements were a little stiff the first few times, but after the third try— he definitely got the hang of it.

and,, he doesn’t understand tiktok effects, not even the slightest.

on the brighter note, he has more excuses to kiss you so,, it’s a win for him! he won’t get sick of doing any retakes :))

you knew the moment he focused on making the perfect heart, as he firmly pulled you close to kiss you

that, would be the perfect shot there. he almost forgot that there was a camera recording

shouto is seen replaying the filmed tiktok over and over again— and it might’ve looked odd to anyone else

but not to you, definitely. for you, it’s the norm to see him like that.

“do more trends where i could kiss you more.” he pecks you on the lips, before he leaves you be temporarily only to edit the tiktok, ofc

the tiktok itself blows up by a ton, gathering 2M likes, and 5M views, in a surprising amount of time, and you didn’t even notice how he placed his hand on your hip

until the comments pointed it out to him. which shouto replies with “i always do that. you just didn’t seem to notice.” it’s fine bc you do now

the comments consisted of “where can i find a guy like this 💔” “haha that’s so cool *blocks*” “okay but we sEE THOSE HANDS 👀”

nonetheless— please do more trends like that with him. don’t be afraid!

shouto rates the entire ordeal a ♾/10. can and will do it again. oh— and he saves his home and lockscreen as the final outcome from the tiktok. he did a screenshot it, and decides to keep it like that for a very long time

kaminari denki

again— this man is ALWAYS on tiktok, so he’s aware of most of the trends there. but that doesn’t make them any less scarier

but oh wow, he loves this trend. denki was just praying that you’d see it— and ask him to do it with you.

he was grateful that luck was on his side, since he was ecstatic when you skipped over to him— asking him to do a tiktok trend

“oh, what tiktok trend? wait— please tell me it doesn’t involve me breaking up with you for a week so you could listen to drivers licenses—”

“what? no— let me show you” and when you showed him the tiktok, he showed you this cheeky little smirk

“let’s do it! the sooner the better!” he says, and he seems more excited that you 💀

denki’s so enthusiastic, to the point that the first few takes are a total fail— as he makes you fall over your feet, as the result of quickly pulling you onto him for a kiss.

“denki— one of these days, you’re going to shatter my face”

“sorry, sorry!” he grins sheepishly. and it’s a miracle that he didn’t accidentally short circuit!

you guys try again, still persistent in getting at least a decent video, and this time— when he yanked you, causing you almost slip

he tightened his hold on you, a hand pressed against the small of your back and another hand dangerously close to your bank

the kiss is eager, passionate— and he holds you like you’re on the verge of death

and this flusters you because MAMDKWDK what happened to the goofiness 💀 i suppose that’s what happens when you have an eager denki kaminari.

you upload the video, thinking it would only get 5 likes at the very most— but it exceeds your expectations

though most people couldn’t get a clear view of your relationship dynamic with him, denki’s enthusiasm did attract the attention of 2.8M people

and in a good way, because the video did get 800k likes

the comments consisted of “when he caught you when you almost fell :,)” “damn he was EXCITED” “hey, have you told us where you got your boyfriend? i need the link to find someone like him NOW‼️‼️”

the bakusquad fawned over the video weirdly, but it quickly gets overplayed by denki— since that’s all he watched for a week or so 💀

monoma neito

bruh </3 as much as he loves you, you’re going to kill him with pranks one of these days.

he’s totally in on it if HE’S not the one being targeted, but most of the time,, neito’s the subject of your pranks

so he thinks it’s another silly prank, where you make him pick a number between 1-5 and ghost him for that many hours.

but when you show him the video one day, when you guys were chilling in your room— as per usual, he declined :,)

“sorry dear Y/N! but no. that’s my answer”

“but whyyy?? it’s so harmless!”

“the class is going to tease me for being a part with a silly tiktok like that.” and besides,, he’d be a hypocrite for participating in that kind of tiktok with someone from class 1-A.

in reality, he did want to do it. he wasn’t so sure on why he said no— but he does want to show that something so easy isn’t really a bother to him.

“oh- don’t be so sad about it! you know what?” he gently pulls you up, “let’s do it. i don’t care what those silly class 1-A kids will say anymore.”

“what? i thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“have you ever heard of a lie?” he clicks his tongue, but he’s glad that you’re feeling much better than you did 10 seconds ago.

when it comes to it, he’s actually really shy about it. not like a ‘i don’t want to be seen with you!’ more like ‘gosh, how many takes is this going to take? will i be able to kiss them properly?’

“what if i end up accidentally copying their quirk? neito— focus, damnit.” he thinks to himself, brushing the anxious feeling away.

he’s determined enough to stay focused— but man struggled a bit with cooperating with the heart shape.

“neito— not that heart!” “well, you said to make a heart, so i did!”

it takes a few tries for the greenscreen to cooperate, and for you guys to get in sync

and when he finally has to kiss you, he grins at you— a very obvious blush adorning his cheeks, as he smashes his lips with yours

then he remembers that he actually has to break free from you— and forces you guys apart, still trying to play it cool

“wow! i look awesome. only i could kiss you like that, right? i don’t need an answer, because i know it’s true!” he says with that proud laugh of his, but it immediately dissipates after the second replay

neito leaves you be, not only for you to upload the tiktok— but also because he needs to THINK WHAT JUST HAPPENED he’s running laps in his mind rn

you upload the tiktok, not worrying too much about it— as you wanted to let it sit for a while, before checking up on it

however— when you open your phone again, you get bombarded with multiple text messages from kendou, and the other class 1-b students.

“you and monoma went viral!” is what you can sum up about most of the messages, and you have to see for youself— wanting to know if the tiktok really did get 800k likes and 1.9M views in a short amount of time.

spoilers ‼️ — it did

the comments were mostly like “why can i smell the dynamic from a mile away 💔 i want that.” “he’s definitely annoying to everyone but you” “sHEESH the way he smirked before he kissed you 😩✋‼️‼️😔”

monoma flexes on a daily that he did that to your class— but he HATES how class 1-b wrecks havoc on him, by teasing him

in short— he does prefer this more than being scared. and! he didn’t have to verbally ask you for kisses 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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mitsubitchiee · 3 years

Text

Sweet and Spicy lol

Pairing: Mammon x f!MC

Cw: smut (pretty vanilla), afab mc

Summary: porn w/o plot. but like, loving and soft porn? Lots of feelings and making each other feel good.

Preface: So! I didnt finish it. I started writing this like... 4 months ago? lmaooo i dunno if ill ever complete it at this point?? But i alrd wrote like 3000 words of it so i thought ill just post it like this. Just heads up, it cuts off pretty abruptly in the middle of spicy times hdhsh Its also not edited ofc. Ill use the fact that im not usually a writer as an excuse for this jssgp

Mammon’s bedroom door closed behind them as the two walked into the space, her feet headed straight to the couch in the middle of the room. She let out a yawn, stretching her arms just about ready to flop onto the sofa when she felt arms wrapping around her middle. Sighing, she leaned into the heat pressing against her back, resting one hand on his and the other combing through his hair. Mammon had his head buried in her shoulder, taking in her scent that had always soothed him.

“Thanks for having my back down there… What would I do without ya?” His voice was muffled by her shoulder but she heard him loud and clear as she felt soft lips pressing against the skin near the base of her neck. She hummed. “Just another day, right?” she chuckled, turning in his arms to face him. He was tired. It was one of those days when it was all too much for him, the witches, his work and his brother’s relentless insults.

Most days he could take it, he would take it, whether it was because he knew he deserved it or because he was just so used to it, he wasn’t sure. But something changed when she came. She showed him kindness that he had never really been treated to before. She touched him so gently, so lovingly and he didn't know how to take it. When she kissed him, he could’ve sworn he still had his angel wings fluttering behind him. He had never noticed just how tired he was. He never stopped to see how the insults had really affected him until she came. Until she brought the whole world around him to a stop and made him feel like the center of her universe. She looked at him like he was the most precious treasure in all three realms and she cried at the scars that he didn't even notice he had. And then he couldn’t stop noticing it. He felt it every time he was insulted and every time the witches extorted him, every time someone took advantage of him. He learned to recognise it, and every time he does, he just wants to be in her arms. He wants to be held and to be doted on and cared for and ...loved. And he loved her with every fiber of his being, even when he knows he isn’t good at showing it, even when he doubts that he is worthy of loving her, he could never push her away. He would take whatever she was willing to give him even if it's just -

“You okay?”

Mammon hadn’t noticed how he was leaning onto her hand that was holding his cheek. She saw his face turn into the familiar shade of red as he nodded. She smiled, giving him time to speak. “Can I…” his eyes averted and she had a feeling she knew what he wanted, but let him finish anyway. “...can i kiss you?” Her smile grew and she felt her heart grow in her chest. He had never made a move without her consent, never without asking and maybe that was the reason she felt so safe with him. But she needed him to know that he could ask for or initiate affection whenever he needed. She gently pushed his cheek to get him to look at her before closing the distance between them. As their lips met he felt the breath that he had been holding escape in a sigh, melting into the touch. He felt her hands snaking into his hair, pleasantly scratching his scalp the way she knew he liked. His hand that was resting on her waist made its way to the nape of her neck, cradling her head that was tilted up to reach him. In that moment he felt an immense wave of love flood over him. This human, this tiny, fragile human was the source of his comfort. His human was there, standing on her tiptoes to reach him, hands combing his hair to soothe him, kissing him as if to tell him everything is alright and there's nothing but the two of them in this universe.

He bent down more than he already had, letting her feet rest comfortably on the ground. Without breaking the kiss, he gently guided her to the back of his sofa, lifting her to sit on it. She squeaked a bit in surprise before pulling back with a laugh. Both of her arms wrapped around his neck, keeping him there with his forehead on hers. “Did that make you feel better?” She nuzzled her nose against his, feeling the delightful breath of air that escaped him when he chuckled. “Not yet. I might need one more” his tone was playful, but his eyes were genuine and almost pleading. With a hum, she connected their lips again, revelling in the feeling of his lips against hers, tasting hints of whatever sweet desert they both had after dinner. Teeth grazed her bottom lip, biting gently on the soft flesh, asking for permission. Mammon was never the quietest even in tender moments like these. Her head spins at the sounds of contentment he makes no matter how many times she had heard it before. In the heat of the moment, she couldn’t help her own whimper and she found herself rotating her head, wanting more of him. Her hands travel down his chest, caressing his sides. A growl escaped his throat, feeling his greed slowly growing inside him. He wanted more.

The two separated, gasping for air but a smile was plastered on their faces, eyes half lidded and pupils blown. “Mammon…” she bit her lip where he had done so before, her hands tugging at his leather jacket, urging him to get it off. He chuckled, pleased at her eagerness, letting his jacket pool on the floor under him. He basked in the way she ran her hands down from his shoulder to his exposed arms and finally to his hands which she took to her lips, placing kisses on his knuckles. He swallowed, somehow more flustered by this innocent gesture than the make out session they were just having. She loves me. The thought sent him reeling and his heartbeat picking up. He watched her hands reaching to the back of his neck, pulling him closer so that she could nibble on the soft skin on the base, pecking anywhere she could reach. Fuck, she loves me. Trailing up his neck, she gave a teasing tug to his earlobe with her teeth, kissing the spot right after. She really-

“I love you” her voice was a whisper right against his ear, effectively knocking the air out of his lungs. He grunted, eyes shut tight, forehead pressing against her shoulder. He couldn’t handle this. “Ya drive me crazy, y’know that?” Before she could answer, he picked her up and carried her to his bed. She giggled, holding on to him tight before she felt herself being placed on the bed, her back resting against the headboard. Her eyes locked on to his as he made his way closer to her. “I love ya too” he grinned, settling down with his legs straddling her thighs, making sure he doesn’t rest his full body weight on her. Being so close, it took all he had within him to not take her right then and there, but he had to be sure she wanted it too. As if reading his thoughts, she guided his hand to rest on the skin just under her shirt, sighing at his coldness on her warm skin. She brought her face close to his so that he could feel the words she would say. “Then show me,”. At that, he let go of his restraints and let himself indulge in the desire to touch her, to taste her and to let her know just how much he loved her.

A chaste kiss quickly turned heated as he felt her hands roaming his body. The soft caress of her fingertips on the skin of his abdomen sent shivers running down his back and he couldn’t help the sound that came from his throat. He pulled away from the kiss, bringing his lips to her jaw, down her neck before separating to let her pull his shirt off. One of her hands rested on his waist, drawing circles with her thumb while the other traced the outline of his jaw. “You’re perfect, Mammon” she sighed, taking in the sight in front of her. Mammon huffed, not knowing how to respond except to go back to kissing her neck. He nibbled and bit into the spot he knew has her gasping each time and sure enough, she gasped, her hands gripping his waist trying to ground herself. He drank in all of her sharp inhales, her sighs and her whimpers as his hand traveled up her tummy, circling to her back and tugging on the clasps of her bra, getting them loose. A moan ripped through the air when his hands cupped one of her breasts, teasing her nipple. The sound egging him on even more, finally pulling her shirt and bra off, tossing them away.

“Gorgeous” He breathed, continuing his trail from her collarbones, hands roaming her top half, not wanting an inch of skin to be left untouched. She didn’t bother covering up her sounds, knowing just how much he liked hearing them. His growing erection didn’t go unnoticed as she cursed under her breath, feeling him harden against her. Her hand slipped in between their two bodies to feel the bulge over his jeans and she bit her lip, feeling herself getting excited by the thought of him. Mammon whined, rutting against her hand begging for more friction. His lips didn’t stop their descent down her front even as she unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, trying to pull them down impatiently. He slipped out of them swiftly, tossing them away. Before he could do the same to hers, she had wrapped her fingers around his length, causing him to hiss. Slow strokes up and down his cock had him gritting his teeth, a hand resting on the headboard beside her head to support himself and another gripping her shoulder. “Fuck, babe” He moaned her name as her hands stroked the head of his cock deliciously. “So pretty, Mammon.” He had his lips slightly parted, pretty sounds escaping from it, eyes intoxicated and his beautiful toned body bare, just for her. It’s a view she could never get tired of.

With a grunt, he pulled away from her touches, panting lightly, ignoring the throbbing in his member from the sudden absence of friction. “Let me make ya feel good first” he looked into her eyes, searching for even the smallest bit of discomfort but all he saw was her nodding, her lips pulled into a shy smile. "Mmh, please" she sighed as cool air made contact with the skin of her bottom half once Mammon helped her out of her pants and underwear. With a little ushering from his hand, she spread her legs, feeling both embarrassed and excited by him being able to see all of her. A hand slid down her folds and she could feel herself tighten from that touch alone. Heavy breaths escape her as he traced up and down, thoroughly soaking his fingers with her wetness. "Fuck, you're this wet already" Mammon growled, feeling himself twitch at the thought of her getting so wet because of him. Only him. He prodded at her entrance before feeling his finger almost being sucked into her heat. He curled his finger, searching for the spot she liked best. "S-shit" her head was thrown back, grunting at the feeling of his long finger inside her knowing just where to hit. Another finger was pushed in and she swore her fingers could never do what he did to her. He kept his pace slow, focusing on her reactions wanting to pleasure her more.

Shifting his position, he brought his face near her core and she could feel his breath so close to her. He licked a stripe from her entrance up to her clit, moaning at her taste and the loud gasp that he heard coming from her. "Mammon…" she felt her walls clenching on his fingers as he continued to lick her clit over and over, her hand tightly gripped on his hair and pushing her hips up to grind against him more. His tongue drove her crazy, flicking and sucking at the sensitive bundle of nerves all the while his fingers rubbing at the sensitive spots inside her. He feasted on her like it was his last meal, greedy for more of her sounds and eager to please. The fingers inside her never stopped pumping in and out, gaining speed over time. “Y-your tongue, fuck!” the hand she had on his head pushed down, a silent beg for him not to stop. He felt her walls tighten as she sang his name, cumming around his fingers. Mammon made sure to catch a glimpse of her face as she came, before slowly pulling out of her heat. He sat up and pressed his palm over her hole, still feeling her throb and easing her out of the orgasm. “That’s it, baby. Ya taste so fucking good”

She opened her eyes as she calmed down, seeing him lick off the mess she made around his mouth. A wave of affection took over her as she pulled on his arm, guiding him closer before joining their lips together. She tasted herself on him as his tongue met hers. Mammon felt his chest being pushed gently and he pulled away. Next thing he knew, he was on his back and she was on top of him, peppering kisses down his chest. He writhed at the words of praise that were whispered against his skin. “You’re so good to me, Mammon. You know just how to make me go crazy for you” her hand was already on his dick, stroking slowly up and down. She hummed, pleased at how hard he had gotten, feeling her mouth start to water.

A kiss to the tip of his leaking head had him groaning, propping himself up on an elbow to look at her. His other hand combed through her hair, gesturing how good she was being as her lips parted around his cock, sucking and licking the head. Her tongue traced back and forth along the bottom of the head before taking more of him into her. He was big. So big her jaw opened near its limits when she took him in and out of her mouth. She stroked the length that she couldn’t fit, feeling a little irritated at not being able to take all of him. With a groan she shifted her position so that his cock was angled straight to her throat. Mammon watched her intently and his breath hitched as he realised what she was doing. He sat up so that he was resting on his ass instead of his elbow. She took him into her mouth again, all the way to the back, wiggling her head to get him deeper, to have all of him inside her. His hands clutch at the sides of her head, assisting her down to the base, his cock twitching at how eager she is to take him. The press of his cock at the back of her throat made her eyes water, but the loud moans that left Mammon made her want to keep it there. She looked up at him, mouth still filled, and he felt his pride swell at the sight of her. “Holy shit, baby. Ah... You’re taking me so well- mmmh... fuck” His voice was hoarse and he spoke between moans. She bobbed her head in shallow movements, loving the way he bucked his hips and moaned praises her way.

She lifted her head slowly, coughing as she pulled out before looking up at him, licking her lips. “Yummy,” her voice was rough and she was breathing heavy to catch her breath. He took her face into his hands, brushing back the stray hairs stuck to her forehead. “My good girl, taking all of me like that. You’re so good to me” Feeling a gush of wetness escape her at his words, she climbed on top of his lap, rubbing herself on his cock earning her a low growl from Mammon. Their lips meet again in a passionate kiss, needy, greedy for each other. Her pussy felt so awfully empty, desperate for him. “Mammon...please, i need you” in any other situation she would have been embarrassed at the desperation in her whine, but she couldn’t bring herself to care about that right then. Mammon wanted so badly to be inside her too, he only growled in response before guiding his tip to her entrance. She slowly sinks herself onto him, back arching, mouth gaping and hands clutching his shoulders to keep balance. A drawn out moan escaped her when her hips were flush against his. He had his face buried in the crook of her neck, cursing at the tightness around him. For a moment they were still, relishing in the feeling of being connected, arms wrapped around one another, bodies pressed against each other, pure bliss. His lips scrambled to find hers, his feverish need for more only slightly satiated from the kiss.

Use your imagination for the rest ;) ⭐ ...i am so sorry but i did warn you it was gonna end abruptly

#mammon smut #obey me smut #obey me thirst #obey me mammon #yeah... idek what to say...#i tried to write smth ok!!! that counts for smth right?#o-<-<#mitsu's thirsty

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lokescurse · 3 years

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Hello I hope you're feeling better soon and please a - z for naoya and the nsfw alphabet hehe I'm greedy for Naoya content. Sending love and hugs

Thank you~❤️I'm doing okay, still recovering but I was well enough to finish this. I hope the wait was worth it! Some of these letters were already answered for other people, so I'll be linking back to the posts where I put them. Otherwise, here you are, a full alphabet for our favourite little menace of the Zenin clan:

These are gn!Reader friendly!

As one could expect, MDNI, thank you!~ Specific warnings under the cut.

C/D1/K/W1 & B/D2/J/N/W2

Warnings: Mentions of cum, katoptronophilia, limited aftercare, oral sex (both receiving), rough sex, mocking, degradation, humiliation, praise, choking, implied unprotected sex, creampies/cumming inside, detailed descriptions of uncircumcised dick, semi-public sex, quickies, exhibitionism, descriptions of pubic hair, use of toys, sexting, dick pics, overstimulation, dumbification, multiple orgasms, and orgasm denial. Also if there are grammar and spelling mistakes, I’m sorry but I didn’t have the energy to proof read this a million times lol.

A = Aftercare: Aftercare with Naoya is...minimalistic, really. If he’s awake enough after sex, he’ll probably want to wash off with you so that you don’t have to worry about yourself or your bed sheets in the morning, though. This can be a shower or a bath and he doesn’t really have a preference, so if you just want a quick rinse that’s fine & if you’d like to put some scented bath salts in the tub and just soak for a bit, that also works. He’s not really picky during this time (in fact, Post-orgasm Naoya is probably the most agreeable version of him lmao). Anything more than this is a bit of a toss-up, however. He’s probably just gonna want to go straight to bed or he’ll have to even skip the wash, adjust himself, and head off to whatever he has next on his daily agenda. But, if he does get to stay in bed for the night, expect him to also use whatever power he has to sleep in with you the next day.

D = Dirty secret: This is one that even a very beloved partner would have significant difficulty wrangling out of him.....but Naoya really doesn’t mind the idea of wearing lingerie, even if it’s a bit more on the feminine side. He has a great figure and he knows it. What’s more is that he loves all kinds of accessories that accentuate his naturally pretty features. So it should come as no surprise to learn that Naoya has definitely tried on a few things in front of his mirror, and somewhere deep in his computer are the selfies he took while wearing the pieces he liked most. He’s especially partial to black garments with lace trim and lots of straps & garters. Perhaps even more than the lingerie itself, he loves thinking of all the praise and compliments he’ll receive for wearing it. So his partner had better be prepared to absolutely drown him in heartfelt flattery if this is a thing they’d like to see more of in the future.

E = Experience: Naoya isn't very experienced, in my opinion. I do think that he'd be willing to have a few one-night-stands here and there just to get out some of the frustration that he can't relieve himself, but that doesn't mean he was all that well-educated on what to do. He's not innocent by any means, but being with him means being willing to understand that he'll need some actual practice to be exceptional at anything in the bedroom. His one strength is that he does have some natural talent with his tongue and fingers, though, if you get my drift. It's a learning curve, but he'll get there. F = Favorite position: I’m of the mind that Naoya enjoys the butterfly, cowgirl, classic missionary, and spooning positions best. Ultimately, these are all positions that either 1) let him see his partner’s face & body, 2) let him press his skin directly against theirs, or 3) both. A position that allows Naoya to choose between getting up close and sensual or leaning back and enjoying the view is going to land on his favourites every time. All four of these also allow him to have good control over the pace to some extent or another (which we’ll establish later as being fairly important to him). Even cowgirl gives him the option to steady his partner’s hips and push into them at his desired speed from below. An honourable mention here is doggy style, but he tends to only like it while him and his partner are facing a mirror. Like I said, he likes to be able to see everything.

G = Goofy: Naoya doesn't tend to be goofy during the act, per se, but he does enjoy bringing his normal scoundrel attitude into the bedroom with him. He's the mocking, sarcastic, and teasing sort. At times, it can also just be him playing coy in an attempt to get his partner to admit to/beg for something they want done to them. He's the kind to hear his partner say "please..." and ask "please, what?" even though he knows full well what it is they're looking for. Playful, to say the least. We’ll get more into this when we get to U.

H = Hair: While the idea of Naoya also bleaching his pubes is...interesting to me, I do think that he keeps them the natural black colour they are. As far as the cut goes, I’d say he’s very well groomed. He keeps it well-shaped and tame down there, sometimes he might even shave it completely if he’s going to be too busy to see to it properly for a while. He does also take into account what his partner likes, though, as he wants to make sure he’s as attractive to them as he can be in every possible way. Tell him what you like and, if it suits him, he’ll do his best.

I = Intimacy: Let’s face it, Naoya’s not the romantic type. While he can be tender, it’s rare that there’s a time with Naoya that isn’t punctuated by roughness or mockery to some extent or another. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something deeper to it at all. More accurately, Naoya’s roughness is largely due to his enthusiasm to be wrapped up with his partner in the first place. Obviously, his nigh insatiable appetite is also to blame, but it’s not the only contributor to his eagerness. When Naoya desires someone, he desires them wholly, and he seeks no one else. So while his partner probably shouldn’t expect a soft/romantic lovemaking session unless it’s their birthday or some such occasion, they should know that everything Naoya does is specifically, and only for them. It has its own inherent romance to it, even if it’s not always clear.

L = Location: There a few different locations that Naoya loves to get tangled up in. His own bed, the estate sauna, the training mats in the dojo - they're all great and he'll almost never say no to them. But there's one place that Naoya absolutely loves to defile with his partner more than any other:

His father's bed.

It's risky and he knows well that it's not always an option, but if there's ever a moment in which his partner is game and Naobito is busy elsewhere, Naoya will practically sprint there. The whole way he's biting his lip at the thought and loosening his clothes to prevent lost time. He can't help but to love the high that comes over him when he and his partner have their way in the Very Important Private Room Only for the Head of the Zenin Clan. It serves as both a reminder of his own personal motivations, as well as just a giant "Fuck You" to his father in general. The best of both worlds. M = Motivation: Naoya isn’t a difficult man to turn on, as he’s practically always at the ready. You can pretty much just vaguely allude to the concept of sex and his brows (and something else) will begin to perk up. However, I do think there are a few little things that will get him particularly entranced with his s/o. One of them is low-cut or revealing clothing. Parade yourself with confidence or tease him with a suggestive outfit and he’s already ravishing you with his eyes at every possible moment. Naoya loves beauty and ostentation, so if his partner takes the time to pick out clothes that really highlight all their best curves & features, you can bet that Naoya isn’t going to be able to keep his hands to himself. For male/masc partner’s especially, I think he also loves shows of strength. Naoya can’t help but stare when he sees taught muscle flexing, or be impressed by how easily his partner can lift heavy objects that he can’t (as I’m writing this, I’m thinking maybe maybe maybe Naoya might just have a bit of a size kink, too eheh). Finally, something that works for all kinds of s/os is that Naoya absolutely loves having his neck touched - it’s probably his most sensitive, non-erogenous body part. If the person he’s involved with at the time comes up behind him while he’s sitting on a couch or at his desk, gently grazes their fingers along the side of his neck, and whispers something suggestive in his ear, Naoya’s all but putty in their hands.

O = Oral: Oh, Naoya, Naoya, Naoya. When isn’t this man wagging his tongue? Honestly, even he knows that he really ought to put it to better use sometimes. And so he does, but you almost hate to admit that he’s so damn good at it. As one could imagine, it’s filled with a ton of teasing, though. There’s plenty of him blowing lightly on the excited skin, lots of kitten licks and soft kisses, and of course it wouldn’t be sex with Naoya without a heavy dose of “use your words” and other taunts. Ultimately, there’s not much Naoya Zenin loves more than really taking his time between his partner’s thighs and watching as they completely come unraveled beneath his diligent tongue. It’s so good to him, that he’s often caught moaning around his partner’s sex, sending pleasant vibrations all along the flesh there & enhancing the experience further. Sometimes, even, he can’t bring himself to stop after his s/o’s release finishes coating his lips, and he’ll continue to press his tongue against them until they’re jolting from overstimulation. Even then he might not stop without a safeword. Asking Naoya for oral really is a gamble in that way. There’s no telling whether he’ll leave his partner at a comfortable satisfied, or catapult them thoroughly into mindless and exhausted.

Naoya prefers to give and, honestly, if he had to choose the method to his climax, he’d just choose sex over oral if he had the time. That being said, Naoya was made for multiple orgasms. So if there’s only enough time for oral, expect for him to try and make use of every possible second. Therefore, his partner should probably make sure they rest their jaw afterwards.

P = Pace: Generally speaking, Naoya prefers the act to have a more rapid pace. As one can expect from someone with a speed-based technique, Naoya has a great capacity to keep things moving quickly. The bedroom is no exception. Even in moments where the scene is more sensual, he can’t help but raise the pace as time goes on. There’s something about the extra friction and the desperation it fills him with that makes the sex all the more passionate in his eyes. Just him and his partner, recklessly chasing their highs together. Mmm.~ ♡

Q = Quickie: Naoya loves quickies, for the most part. He kind of has to, seeing as he has to always be somewhere for some reason or another. His partner can probably expect at least one each week in-between blocks of missions, meetings, and other monotony. Sometimes it's the only kind of sex there is, which is mostly fine for him....but he does sometimes long for the more calm, slow moments when he can really take his time. A balance between the two, is really what he craves. R = Risk: Naoya is very willing to experiment and take risks, as I'm sure you've probably guessed by this point. He's down to try almost anything once, and some of his favourite acts are ones done in places where it would be easy to be caught. The things he likes are also pretty varied, and he doesn't mind going from soft to harsh or anywhere in between. Ultimately a pretty exciting partner once he starts getting the hang of things. S = Stamina: I’ve talked about this before in separate posts, but I think it’s fair to say that Naoya likely has pretty good stamina. I don’t necessarily like when other people just say that every character they write for can go multiple rounds all night because that’s not always realistic. But, since Naoya so very specifically has a speed-based ability and we know how important strength, performance, and training were to the Zenin...I don’t think it’s unfair to say in this case that, yes, Naoya can probably go for quite some time. I’m also of the mind that he cums quickly, but is not easily overstimulated, leading him to be able to hit multiple orgasms without getting too overwhelmed or tired. Ergo, this man can and will keep you up way past your bedtime if you ask nicely. ♡

T = Toys: I like to think that Naoya is pretty open to the possibility of using toys. After all, they can very easily result in a heightened experience for both him and his partner. He’d especially love using things like vibrators, clamps, and plugs because of how readily they can bring his s/o over the edge and deep into overstimulation. And since he’s someone who also likes to cum multiple times in any given session, I can definitely see them as being useful to him, too. Ultimately, I think this is a “you name it and I’ll try it,” sort of subject for Naoya. He’ll give anything a go at least once.

U = Unfair: Oh, are you kidding? I think we’ve established by now that teasing may as well be Naoya’s own, distinct love language. It’s impossible for him to refrain from denying, teasing, and openly mocking his s/o during any stage of sex. For him, it’s an integral part of the fun. He loves to make his partner beg, to mock their whimpering, to intentionally “miss” any of their sweet spots, and to give only the slightest of touches against the skin for far too long. Bringing his partner to the brink and sinking them down over and over again - having them completely at his mercy...oh yeah, he positively adores it all.

V = Volume: I think this is where I differ the most from a lot of other people who write for him, because I absolutely think that Naoya is shameless enough to fully moan whenever the mood strikes him. No hushed grunting or strangled noises with this man. He will just let it all out exactly as he feels it. After all, Naoya’s not a person to conceal his emotions as is. Why would he bother to hide what a good time he’s having? Plus, if you’ve been around my posts long enough, you know full well that I think he would also really enjoy trying to embarrass his partner by repeating their own sounds back to them when they get particularly amusing. So, really, there’s no way I would have ever told you that this man is quiet, of all things. Lmao.

W = Wild card: Naoya loves to lock his partner in place, especially when he’s close to cumming. This can sometimes be in the form of choking, but other times it’s just him pressing closer against them or wrapping an arm across the chest/sternum to anchor them to him. It’s quite the display, really. A hand or arm will come up to curl around his s/o’s body, his pace will quicken, and his breathing grows ragged. He has almost no mind left for dirty talk and simply moans readily into his partner’s ear as he reaches his peak inside them. The whole time, he’s holding them firmly in place and making sure they take every drop of his seed.

X = X-ray: He’s beauty, he’s grace. Naoya’s overall body is lean, fit, and sculpted. His musculature is more on the subtle end, but each gentle slope and rounded hill is wrapped so perfectly in smooth, even skin. His ass is especially noteworthy, as it is that somewhat square shape with divots in the sides that one can expect from a very fit build, but also with enough mass there to give the actual cheeks that lovely & grab-able bubble-like quality. Truly, it’s an enticing thing that any good partner would be loathe not to appreciate. Rotating the man a bit, let’s talk about what he’s workin’ with, you know what I’m sayin’? 👀 Naoya’s a proud member of the Pretty Cock Squad, in my opinion. It’s not particularly large or small, sitting at about a comfortable 6-6.5 inches. He is uncircumcised and almost religiously clean. His foreskin is about the same colour as the rest of him, but with a red, blushing quality to it. It’s also very smooth & soft to the touch. There are no veins visible, save for a single prominent, raised one along the underside that looks almost like a seam turned out. The head underneath is cutely rounded, very pink, and super sensitive - which is largely why he cums so fast. Overall, it’s a member to be proud of, and he’ll certainly take any opportunity he can to show it off to his partner. Hopefully they like dick pics during sexting!

Y = Yearning: Oh, boy. This man is horny 24/7, babe. It’s honestly a wonder that Naoya isn’t trying to chase his high every moment of every day. If he isn’t engaging in a sexual act himself, he’s probably thinking of the kinds he’d like to be involved in later, or ones he’ll think about with more clarity when he has a moment alone. So any time a partner even jokes about getting intimate, Naoya will be there actively hoping that they mean what they say deep down because he’s already thinking about just how he’d like to do it tonight.

Z = Zzz: Conked out immediately. Naoya can last quite a while, but no matter how high your stamina is, there comes a point where you need to stop for a bit. It's actually because Naoya is able to exert so much energy during the act that he needs sleep so badly after. Don't be surprised if you roll over to snuggle up to him sometimes only to hear him softly snoring away. Just make sure you wake him up at some point so he can brush his teeth!

Okay! With that all being said and done, I’m gonna tag you ( @depechemoth ) as well just to make sure you get it since sometimes tumblr doesn’t tell people when their asks get answered anymore + I spent a lot of time on this so I don’t want you to miss it!

#WHEW! Sorry this took so long but it was a lot to think about lmao!#Kinktober #Naoya Zenin #Naoya headcanons #Naoya smut #Naoya x Reader #Naoya x gn!Reader #smut alphabet #not sfw #not sfw text #mdni #asks #depechemoth #long post

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spike-and-faye · 3 years

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Hello, I require your infinite wisdom please!! :O So I just finished cowboy bebop and I am so confused like who the fuck was Julia. WHAT was Faye's past. I literally never process tv shows and the bebop was not immune to my stupidity LMAO like... I guess the ending just really confused me, from what I gathered Spike and Vicious were friends? But then they weren't? And Julia dated Vicious but also Spike? And he? Went after Vicious even after Julia had died? I am Confusion. Please help. Thank u...

Oh BABEY I am so glad you asked! :) Be prepared for a long answer and I apologize in advance for how incoherent it will probably be.

ALSO Please note: this show is fucking complicated. I have watched it all the way through several times a year, every single year, for over a decade now, and I am *STILL* finding new shit every time I watch it. It's packed with symbols, motifs, allusions and underlying themes that are just so rich. It is so extraordinarily well-written that it could give a lot of classic literature a run for its money. I'm literally working on an in depth literary/film analysis my husband lovingly calls my Manifesto on the series right now. SO PLEASE don't beat yourself up about not catching everything on the first go round.

HEY BTW for anyone who hasn't finished the show, please know there will be MANY spoilers ahead!

Anyways ~

1. Spike / Julia / Vicious:

The information we get on Spike's past, including Vicious and Julia, is pretty limited considering how big of an impact they have on the story. We get our first glimpse in Session 1: Asteroid Blues, then again in Session 5: Ballad of Fallen Angels, Sessions 12 + 13: Jupiter Jazz, and Sessions 25 + 26: Real Folk Blues. I recommend reviewing these episodes for you Julia and Vicious fix.

What we know:

Spike and Vicious were both members of an organized crime syndicate called the Red Dragons, which is roughly analogous to the Yakuza or the Mafia. Their positions in the organization are not clear, but there are some images alluding to them being hitmen, and they likely rose up in the ranks as they were close acquaintances of Mao Yenrai, a Capo of the Red Dragon.

Spike and Vicious were close comrades. Spike taught Vicious everything he knew about fighting, and the two had a deep trust in each other. Which Spike fucked up ….

^^Vicious looks hot asf here

Julia was Vicious' lover/girlfriend. One night in 2068 (three years prior to the time we watch in the Bebop) Spike is injured, presumably from a syndicate-related fight and he passes out in front of her door. She takes him in and nurses him back to health and he SIMPS HARD for her. We’re all but told he's in LOVE love with her. They start an affair, and Spike tells her he's ready to abandon the whole life - the syndicate, Vicious, Mao, all of it - and they could run away together.

WELL Vicious finds out about this whole affair, and is DOUBLY betrayed because his literal best friend and girlfriend have been having an affair, and tbh I think he was just as jealous of Spike's attentions as he was of Julia's. (Whether or not it’s a sexual thing for Spike … well … I have my own headcanons about that). SO when he finds out they're going to run away together, he gives Julia an ultimatum: you can either kill him, or I'll just kill you both. Spike had written her a letter about meeting him in the graveyard to start their new life together, which she tears up to hide his location from Vicious. (This is the falling ripped up pieces of paper we see in Spike's flash back in Session 5).

^^ r/gifsyoucanhear

**NOTE: There are those who disagree with this view, (looking at you Cowboy Bebop wiki) instead suggesting Vicious and Spike were buds in the past, but then hated each other once they were both considered as potential successors to Mao. That's why Vicious wanted him dead, and he was enlisting Julia (who he didn't necessarily have a romantic connection to) to help kill Spike since he knew Spike loved her. Personally, I think there is plenty of evidence that Vicious also wanted Julia, and in fact was already with her, when Spike started seeing her. If you want me to cite my sources please send an me an ask about it :)

Spike gets the idea, whether by her just not showing up or word around the syndicate being like YO Vicious wants you dead. Despite Vicious' ultimatum to Julia, he was gunna kill Spike either way. SO he sets up an ambush, and SadBoy™ Spike walks intentionally into their trap. Somehow, he doesn't die, though the entire syndicate thinks he did. (Note Annie's reaction to seeing him alive in Session 5). It’s also implied that this is where he lost his eye.

HIS EYE - possibly the most important symbol in the show so I do have to mention it. In episode 26, he explicitly explains to Faye that one of his eyes only sees the past. (PS this isn't dissimilar to Jet's arm… we can get into that another time). Basically, he's constantly living halfway in the past and halfway in the present, and describes the past like a dream he can never wake up from. Because dysfunctional or not - the syndicate WAS his family. (Again - see his relationship with Annie, Mao, and Vicious (prior to Spike's betrayal)). It's his reminder that Julia didn't run away with him, and that he'd left behind that life for her. (He didn’t know she was being threatened until the final episode). Basically Spike is hyper-fixated on what he had and what could've been.

Not long after this, Spike starts bounty hunting because like? What else is he going to do. He doesn't care if he lives or dies but if he has to be alive, he may as well be able to eat. He joins up with Jet Black on the Bebop.

TL; DR: Spike stole Vicious' lover, Julia, so Vicious made Julia choose between her killing Spike or Vicious killing them both. She instead went into hiding and Spike thought he'd been stood up. He fake died and got the hell outta dodge.

2. What was Faye's past?

Ok let me start by saying Faye is my wife and my life. HOWEVER I hated her the first time I watched this show circa age 13 because I thought she was annoying/vain/shallow (also because #internalizedmisogyny lol am I right fam). Good news! She is all those things! But she's also very lonely and scared and an amnesiac and secretly a sweetie and she realizes she loves the crew of the Bebop like family.

SO my wife's backstory:

she was born in the 1990s (#only90skidsremember). There's some debate over her race/nationality, but due to the images of her hanging out in Merlion Park in Singapore, my bet is that she's Singaporean. She comes from a wealthy family with a big house, and we see some utterly *adorable* film of her as a child/young adolescent in Session 18: Speak Like a Child. I cry everytime </3

^^ Holla for the representation

In 2014, circa age 20, she and her parents were going into space when the shuttle they were on had some kind of malfunction/accident and it killed an unknown number of people, including her parents. At the time, the technology didn’t exist to be able to save her, so she was put into a cryogenic sleep state. Meanwhile, the Lunar Gate accident occurs, breaking up the moon and causing rock showers on Earth's surface. Most people died, moved to Mars, or settled underground.

She wakes up from her cryogenic sleep in 2068. (Also the year Spike leaves the syndicate.) She's 'woken' by the corrupt Dr. Bacchus who plans on charging her for the years and years of medical debt she's accrued. (See Session 15: My Funny Valentine.) Luckily a lawyer takes interest in her case (Whitney Haggus Matsumoto) and tries to help get rid of her debt. The two fall in love, but turns out Whitney is a Scumbag. He's actually Dr. Bacchus's nephew, and faked his death, writing Faye as the sole inheritor to his will. This means she'll take on all his debts. So baby girl has LOTS of debt at this point.

In the intervening years prior to her joining the Bebop, she gambles, cheats, gains a lot of street smarts, and adopts a very seductive character to get her way. She joins the crew on the Bebop in Session 3: Honky Tonk Women.

TL;DR: Faye is Austin powers

YIKES this is so long I am so sorry. Bitches are obsessed with this show. (I am bitches)

3. The Ending

Okay I'm going to present this in the way, in my scholarly opinion, would be correct, though there are SO many interpretations other than simply 'Spike died :/".

To understand the plot of the last couple episodes we actually have to go back to Session 5: Mao is instructed* to sign a treaty with a rival syndicate called the White Tigers. (*He's instructed by The Van (Council of identical creepy old men) who are the actual head of the dragon. I think we only see them in Session 26.) Well - Vicious is a Bastard Man and he and his fellow mutineers blow up the White Tiger guys' ship and slit Mao's throat. Before he dies, Mao is like "Gotdamnit if Spike was still here this shit wouldn't have happened." Later in the Cathedral battle, Vicious explains to Spike he killed Mao because Mao 'lost his fangs'. He planned on killing Spike for good her, IMO, so there'd be no rival to take over as Capo for the Dragons.

^^These guys are The Van btw

THEN in Session 25, the Van basically catches Vicious and is like “you killed Mao and now you have to go to Time Out.” The Van also decides to just kill everyone associated with Vicious, just 2 B safe. That's why there's a big ass shootout at the Loser Bar where Jet and Spike are chilling, drinking, (missing Faye and Ed and Ein lol) and Shin (younger brother to Lin, who's helping Vicious overthrow the Dragon) explains all this to Spike. OH and PS JULIA IS ALIVE AND HERE IS HER LOCATION :). (**Notice Spike's reaction at this point is different than his reaction in Jupiter Jazz when he hears there's a Julia on Calisto. Much less excited… hmm…).

SO THEN you know we get some flashbacks of the past as previously explained *and* Julia just happens to run into Faye. She recognizes that Faye is one of Spike's friends from the Bebop (she was keeping tabs on him it seems) and picks her up. Faye doesn't know who Julia is but is like damn bitch I'm a little gay for you. (I mean … that may just be my bi ass projecting, but Faye is REALLY struck with her. Look at how she describes her to Jet, I mean come on.)

Faye's like, 'we should team up' and Julia says 'no thanks but also tell Spike to meet me at *the place*'. Meanwhile back on the Bebop Spike and Jet are talking and Spike goes on about some dream woman who was his other half. (We assume he means Julia … I have my reasons to doubt this … I have a lot of angry DMs about my opinion here lol but I just do not give a fuck (: I can expand on this in another post or you can refer to the title of my fucking blog haha) Personally, I think Watanabe personally left this specific scene open ended, the same way he does with the ending and various other things.

more like SIMP Spiegel

ANYWAY Faye comes back to the Bebop to tell Spike about Julia, and Jet gets intel from a former cop buddy that there's some shit going down with the Dragons. (Again, the Van is hunting down everyone ever associated with Vicious, including your pal Spike). Bebop is attacked, Faye tells Spike what's up with Julia, and he heads out.

PAN TO VICIOUS chained up - about to be executed - but what's that!? It's a bird!? It's a pla- no it's just a bird. (With one glowing red eye … hm … reminds me of Spike, also the drug Red Eye. Pls let me know if you have any thoughts on this). Just a bird with a BOMB! Explosion (RIP bird c. 2065 - too soon), Vicious kills the elders, his buddies show up and are ready to go fuck shit up.

this show could not be more of an aesthetic

MMMPhhh okay RAINY CEMETERY. Spike and Julia. She draws a gun, explains why she didn't meet him that day, and then hugs him. Now Spike is not *great* at showing his emotions but he literally just stands there. Maybe it's a stoic expression of how sad he is that he never knew she still cared, when it seemed like she dumped him. Maybe he's finally getting some closure on his past. Maybe the past doesn't mean the same thing it used to. (I'll elaborate later on this).

They go to Annie's to get stocked up on stuff, she lets them know she denied knowing Spike was still alive and hey also the Van was assassinated by Vicious and his guys so. Watch out for that. Then her shop is surrounded by Vicious' guys and she dies :(. Spike and Julia escape to the roof, but she's shot and dies in Spike's arms, and says 'it's all just a dream' :(. (Refer to: Spike living in a dream of the past).

Anyway Jet SAID he wasn't gunna go after Spike but. Jet's parental instincts kick in (oh yeah he was shot in the leg earlier btw) and he goes to Sitting Bull to see if he knows where Spike is. He basically says yeah Spike's about to die somewhere. (I want to do a further analysis on all the Sitting Bull scenes.) Well conveniently Spike returns to the Bebop, eats, tells his story about a tiger-striped cat. (At one point Jet asks if he's going there for her, and Spike is like well she's dead now so whatever). THEN we get to the scene where Faye is like HEY YOU CAN'T GO OFF AND DIE ASSHOLE and he's like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I 've been living in the past so I might as well see if I'm living now. (**This will play heavily into my interpretation of the ending). Faye is pissed, shoots the ceiling and he goes off to the syndicate headquarters to fuck shit up.

He basically John Wicks his way through the building, Shin dies, he and Vicious have the big boss battle and whatnot. He kills Vicious and stumbles back out down the stairs and says "Bang!" and collapses. We pan to the sky and see a star fade away.

Well that explains the plot … now here's what I think happened!!! ALSO may I mention, anon - you picked up on something I feel like a lot of people miss out on. Why *did* Spike go back to kill Vicious if Julia was already dead??

Basically, once it became clear that anyone associated with Vicious was being killed, Spike knew they'd hunt him down, and they weren't beneath Kill-Billing their way to him, (i.e. systematically destroying this companions to get to him). And for all his apparent indifference - he really loves his new found family. Jet is literally like an older brother to him. Ed is a little sister. Ein is well … a very good boy. And Faye? Well the relationship is complicated, and I'm not going to get into the 69,420 reasons I ship them here, but I think it is beyond argument that he really does care for her, even if that just in a filial way. He didn't want the syndicates to kill them for their association to him, or in order to get to him. So he did what he had to do to protect them. *AND NO* I am not saying that he didn't love Julia. But it was clear that his desire was no longer to run away with her. I think he genuinely loved and cared about her, but at some point between Jupiter Jazz Pt 2 and now, he accepted that their time together was over. Now he had a new raison d'etre, which is the Bebop.

I think at this point Spike has 'woken up' to reality (as he implied to Faye in their final conversation in episode 26: "Look at these eyes. One of them is a fake, because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I have been seeing the past in one eye, and the present in the other. I had believed that what I saw was not all of reality...I thought I was watching a dream that I would never awaken from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over." (This is from the sub btw I'm too lazy to look up the dub transcript.) He wasn't going there to die, he's going to find out if he's really alive. This line is fucking cool and everything - but it's implications are multitude. I won't go into them all here but basically : what makes him alive now is that he's free from his past. He's alive because he has this new family and protecting them is all he really wants now. Spike was protecting Jet, Faye, Ed, (and Ein) by going and facing the entire syndicate, knowing that their lives would all be in danger.

SO - did Spike die? Well again - Watanabe has purposely and artfully left this open ended. Well, if we're following the symbolism from Sitting Bull, then yeah, the man is as dead as disco, and wouldn't that be a fitting ending? BUT at the same time, Spike always refers to having 'died' before (meaning when he was ambushed by the syndicate, and they all thought he died, and he pretty much did). Don't forget that in movie (takes places roughly between episodes 22 + 23, and yes, was made AFTER the series but whatever) he like .. DIES dies. He goes to the afterlife and everything. He wakes up to find he's chilling with Sitting Bull, who's like nah it wasn't your time to die yet. So the fact Sitting Bull confirms Spike will die in the final episode, means yeah, Spike is pretty much dead.

BUT -- okay now hear me out -- could this death in the final episode be a death to his previous life? The person he was in the syndicate? Now that he's extinguished the Red Dragons for good, is it not possible that its merely *that* life which has ended? That's the optimist in me saying that, but if it keeps me from staying up all night crying, I guess it'll have to do. Watanabe definitely wants to leave it up to the viewer, so whatever you think, I feel like there's validity to it.

WELL any anon, sorry for the fucking lecture - and believe me, I could've said MUCH, MUCH more - but I enjoyed this question. I always love talking about this show so please all you fuckers feel free to message me or send an ask about anything any time. I am really slow at replying because #life'sAbitch.

Love you all.

SY,SCB <3

#sorry for the long ass rant #i could seriously talk about this all day.#i even trimmed this down so much #cowboy bebop #fuck man this show is everything #spike spiegel #julia #faye valentine #jet black #vicious #radical ed #ein #<3 #spoilers #rant

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fluffymisha97 · 3 years

Text

Falling, Fallen - Part 3 - Part 2/2

Summary: Last part of that very ‘first real date’ with Chris. The man had several tricks up his sleeves.

Warnings: Language.

Word count: 5,447 (Loooong I know)

(Updated 06-03, I forgot to add the pictures I wanted to use lol.)

You were still reeling from the shock of finding out where you were going next. For a moment you felt speechless due to the surprise and excitement of going in there. You hadn’t gone to one of these things for so long. You grabbed onto Chris’ arm for support worried that you would tip over.

“Omg, are we going in here? I didn’t even know that there was anything like this during this season.”

“Well, that’s the plan. There’s some rides that are closed but very few.”

“Wow, Chris this is really great- but what about all the people? It looks pretty packed.”

“I think we’re good. Besides it’s sometimes easier to blend in with a lot of people rather than a few. If things go south, I’ve got a backup plan.”

You let out a small snort.

“Wait, you got like a secret disguise in the back of your car or something?”

“Something like that.”

Chris was in fact wearing something that offered him some discretion with his Boston Cap and some black sunglasses. He hadn’t been wearing the glasses before arriving at the fair. He’d yet again asked if you were okay with him wearing them while with you. You truly appreciated the thought and didn’t mind it at all. Chris went to a stand where he paid for two entrance tickets and some tickets for the rides and such.

You were all giddy inside and very much excited for the second time that day. This date was looking very well compared to the first one. You and Chris went ‘inside’ where the fair was indeed packed with a great amount of people. Chris stayed close to you while you walked around trying to get a feeling of the place. The place was huge and you were almost overwhelmed by everything there. You felt like a kid on Christmas morning. Chris felt the same way but tried hard to contain it not wanting to make a further fool of himself. He’d already done that twice that day.

You and Chris had come to a stop by some rides. You instantly spotted the giant Ferris wheel which Chris noticed. You stared at it hesitantly and stayed put. You felt Chris’ hand on your back briefly.

“You want to go?”

“Yes and no. The last time I was on one of these things was when I was about 8 years old and I cried when I got to the top because I got scared.”

“How about I’ll let you hold onto me if you get scared.”

“Ever the gentleman, Evans.”

“My ma raised me right.”

You smirked at him. The two of you small talked while you waited in line. 5 minutes later, you were the next to go. You could feel yourself growing more nervous as you got closer. Chris seemed to have noticed your nervous state when he cautiously reached out and grabbed your hand. He didn’t say anything as he held your hand. You smiled at the action and tried to calm down. ‘Remember be cool and chill’ Emmett’s words rang in your head again. ‘Right, breathe in and out slowly. Be cool as a cucumber’. You snorted to yourself hearing your own thoughts.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Just me being me.”

“Okayyy... Looks like it’s our turn.”

Chris led you to the loading by the passenger cars where you went to sit down on the right side. Chris quietly sat down next to you where the girl shut the latch. You took a deep breath as the ride started.

“You still with me?”

“Ask me when we’re at the top.”

You felt small butterflies as you’d reached the top. You couldn’t contain the giggles escaping your mouth as you took in the breathtaking view. It was a sight worth writing home about for sure. The view was great but taking a closer look at the sight next to you, was also pretty great to look at.

“So, have I lost you or...?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“I’m glad.”

“This wasn’t as bad as I remembered it- OMG, they have a swinging carousel! We have to go there next.”

Chris grinned at your child-like enthusiastic behavior. You cleared your throat as you heard yourself coming off as anything other than ladylike.

“I mean, can we please go there next? If you act like a gentleman, then I should perhaps try to act like a lady.”

“By all means go crazy, Y/N.”

“Good man.”

After the ride, you had quickly run off to the next ride, while Chris struggled to keep up with you. You guys went on the swinging carousel right after and it happened so that you and Chris were often the biggest and in fact the oldest people on several of the rides. A part of you should’ve probably been more embarrassed but you were having such a wonderful time that you didn't give a damn. You and Chris had gone on several rides and each one was better than the previous. You honestly couldn't remember the last time that you’d had this much fun.

You went to the bumper cars where Chris was soon chased around by younger boys who’d discovered that Captain America was riding in a bumper car. Afterward they’d asked for a picture which Chris agreed to and nervously checked if you were okay with it. You shook your head and waited patiently while Chris took the last few pictures. You smiled when one very young boy quietly hugged Chris’ leg before running off with the rest of the group. The little boy briefly turned around and waved at Chris.

“Thank you, Mister ‘Mercia.”

You and Chris shared a soft smile at the action and he soon joined you.

“Sorry about that.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’ll gladly take those boys over teenage girls and well ...women chasing you around.”

Chris nervously laughed but was thankful that you didn't mind it. Chris gestured for you guys to move out. The two of you walked in a comfortable silence before you turned to him.

“How is that by the way? Getting recognized by people and asked to do pictures and such. If you don’t mind me asking.”

“It’s fine. Uh, I guess it was kind of daunting in the beginning but I’m used to it by now I mean. The kids are great, truly, I love that they look up to someone like Captain America. That I can play a part that can change someone's life. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish and arrogant.”

You smiled and shook your head at him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say something arrogant before. But I think I understand what you mean. If I had a job like that, where I could be a part of something so big and mean something for so many people, I would love that.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and that’s the reason why I keep doing it.”

“But?”

“But sometimes I do think about doing something else than acting.”

“I think it’s normal to consider other things in that industry. To have a plan or something to fall back on. Not that I think you need it. I haven’t seen you in action or anything like that. I’ve seen clips of those Marvel movies.”

“And here I thought that you would’ve stalked me online and everything…anyway what did you think of the movies then?”

“I get the appeal. They do seem like great movies. My friends Emmett and Abby love them but mostly because of all the hot guys in it.”

“Hot guys? Huh, such as?”

“Well, the other Chris is like a wall and very nice looking. Abby loves him the most. He looks good shirtless you know. Then there’s Tom Hiddleston quite handsome too.”

“Wait, are those the only ones that you guys like?”

“Well, nooo...Henry Cavill is a real fine one too.”

You giggled when Chris gasped in an excessive manner.

“He ain't in the Marvel movies! He’s Superman which isn't Marvel.”

“That may be but he is hella fine.”

You wiggled your eyebrows at him and laughed at the ‘hurt’ face he made as he huffed out loud.

“Well, you’ve just revealed yourself to have absolutely no taste then.”

“Oh really?”

“Really.”

“You sure about that?”

“If you go for Cavill then yeah?”

“Huh… Bad taste in men then?”

“Apparently so, Y/N.”

“Interesting then.”

“What is?”

“I’m here with you now, aren't I?”

Chris’ mouth clamped shut like an oyster at that. His ears turned pink-ish at your snarky little comment.

“Well, maybe not entirely bad taste.”

You only laughed as the two of you continued walking close next to each bumping shoulders a few times. Yours bumped into his arm though, seeing you were inches shorter than him. During your exploring of the fair, conversations rolled easily and constantly off your tongue. Chris was so very easy and comfortable to talk with about everything and nothing. You also enjoyed each other's silence without it feeling weird or awkward at all which was so nice.

You and Chris would subconsciously hold hands every once in a while and it just happened so naturally that neither one of you gave it another thought. You liked it and it seemed like he did too. Or that’s what you hoped for.

After a while you’d been sure that you and Chris had tried almost all of the rides, you ventured on into what looked like an arcade hall. There weren't too many people around the hall probably because people wanted to get that last bit of sunlight. Chris walked ahead of you looking at all of the different kinds of games stationed around the place. He came to a stop by an Air Hockey table.

“How about a friendly game of air hockey? I’ll go easy on you.”

You rolled your eyes at him and went to stand on the opposite end of the table.

“Oh, such a gentleman.”

“You ready?”

You nodded your head and prepared yourself. Chris kept his word and went easy on you. Which you would’ve appreciated a lot more had you been terrible at the game. The puck went back and forth three times before you pounced and fired it into his goal.

“What the hell just happened?”

“Was that too fast for you?”

“Wait, what?”

You gave him a sly smirk as you rolled up your sleeves.

“I never said that I would go easy on you.”

“Ohh? That’s how it is.”

“Yup. Give it your best.”

The two of you yelled and shouted like maniacs as the game went on. You’d been winning each set and each time you’d done a little victory dance for yourself.

“Oh, you think that’s attractive? Real cute.”

“I know. I’ve been told I’m rather cute.”

Chris huffed at you and placed the puck on the table.

“Sudden death. Loser buys fries.”

“You’re on, Evans.”

The next game went back and forth. You were so amped up and so was Chris. He wasn’t backing down and neither were you. This was a fight to death. Your eyebrow quirked as an evil thought went through your head.

“You know it’s a good thing that you’re so invested in the game because otherwise you would’ve seen how my boob nearly fell right out.”

“Wha-”

Chris hadn’t even heard half of your sentence before he looked up at you with a puzzled face and you seized your chance. The puck went right in and you threw your hands in the air.

“YES, mother of everything good.”

Chris rubbed his face in embarrassment and chuckled as he looked down on the table.

“I think I’ve met my match. You’re even worse than me.”

“Ehh, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Alright then how about those fries?”

“Yes! You’ve just earned yourself some golden points.”

The two of you went back outside the arcade hall in the search of a food stand. As you finally found a stand, you both felt and heard your stomach growling meaning you were hungry for more than fries. You were about to excuse yourself when you heard Chris in the middle of ordering you some food.

“Hey, can I get two hotdogs with everything, and two curly fries, two cokes?”

Chris briefly checked with you if you had any objections which you didn’t. A few moments later, your food was done. You took the cokes even though Chris had protested wanting to be a gentleman and bring you the food. It was a nice gesture but you couldn't not help when he’d bought you the food to begin with. You found a free table where you sat down. Chris sat on the other side of the table.

You both began eating shortly after enjoying the food and the scenery around you.

“This is soo good.”

“Yup. It kinda goes with the whole thing.”

“I love me some curly fries. Even though I should hold back on them.”

“I’ll gladly buy you all the fries you want.”

“Oohh he scores another golden point.”

Chris softly smiled at you as you took a sip of your coke.

“How am I doing so far?”

“So far so good.”

Chris gave you a smile that could go for miles. It was also annoying how dashingly charming he could be without even trying to.

“I gotta say that you really surprised me by bringing me here. A nice thing.”

“Glad you like it.”

The conversation flowed naturally with Chris and when there was any silence it didn't feel awkward or weird. It was a comfortable silence. You enjoyed listening to Chris animatedly telling you about his job and life. It was clear that he was a passionate guy. You could listen all day to him. Sometimes he would blush when he felt like he’d been talking too much. You couldn't help but find it cute. You just leaned back in your seat and listened to him talk. After a while when you were both done with your food, Chris offered you his hand and you were off to see what else the Fair had to offer.

You moved onto some of the booth games, there were hundreds of them. First you’d gone and tried the bottle ring toss for old times. Each booth you went to, it turned into a competition with Chris. He was so determined about wanting to impress you but you were most of the time just as good as him or even better. Which felt less than good for his ego. You both played Balloon Darts, Knock the cans, and Feed the clown and many more. You saw how Chris almost looked ‘deflated’ by your continuing luck and fortune with the games. You couldn’t help but cringe a little bit inside over yourself.

“Well, this is slightly embarrassing now.”

“What, c’mon, Chris. It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Yeah. Nothing that matters anyway.”

“Sureee...How is it possible that you’ve aced everything we’ve tried so far?”

“I don’t know.”

You could only shrug your shoulders as you looked down at your feet feeling less desirable and dorkier.

“So you’re just naturally good at everything then?”

“Well no, not everything.”

“Oh yeah? Mention one thing you’re bad at.”

You smirked at him and then looked around at the several stands nearby. Something caught your eye. You spotted a stand with a basket net where one would shoot hoops and win prizes. You grabbed Chris by the arm and dragged him along with you close by the booth.

“That. Right there.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. Imagine little ol’e me never having had a little stuffed animal.”

Chris puffed out his chest and straightened his back as he looked at the booth

“I guess we better do something about that.”

Chris gave you a small smile before walking over to the young guy behind the counter. The guy easily recognized Chris but tried playing it cool. Chris removed his sunglasses and pulled out the tickets.

“Hey man, can I get 5?”

“S-s-sure d-dude.”

You stood next to Chris and watched him tank the first 3 shots. You watched how he craned his neck and breathed in through his nose. You stifled a laugh when Chris missed the last 2 ones. Chris looked at you rather nervously.

“You good?”

“Yeah, just a little stiff… just need to have full access you know full range of motion.”

Chris then removed his jacket and before he could lay it elsewhere you stepped in and took it off his hands. You couldn’t help it as you obviously ogled him. His flannel shirt fit him like a glove. It wasn’t until now you saw his whole outfit. He was wearing a red and black flannel shirt and a white undershirt with some darkish jeans. Those jeans also hugged his form very well. You had to snap out of it as you were starting to feel all pervy. ‘Y/N, don’t be a dick nor dick-ish’, you could hear Abby and your friend Emmett’s voice in your head.

Chris bought some more balls. Another few minutes passed and the ball was close but not close enough. You could sense Chris starting to get frustrated and figured you may as well seize the moment.

“Hey, I’ll be right back. I’m going to powder my nose.”

“Okay. I’ll be here and keep on losing to the giant teddy-bear.”

“Chris. You got this. I believe in you.”

You could hear Chris huff out loud as you went to find a restroom. You heard Chris mumble something under his breath.

‘Damn right, I got this. Gotta win the girl her freaking teddy bear.’

You finally spotted a restroom and went and did your business. You checked your phone to see if Abby had written you. Before leaving, you briefly checked yourself in the mirror.

As you got back towards the stand you saw an odd exchange between the guy and Chris. You stilled as you saw Chris handing the guy what looked like a dollar bill but instead the guy grabbed a piece of paper, a pen and his phone. They took a selfie which left the guy rather happy looking and he handed over the biggest bear from the shelves. You smirked to yourself but still felt giddy inside over his obviously failed attempts to win it on his own but giddy over the lengths he would go to get you that bear. You sauntered back over to the stand where Chris lifted the bear up in the air victoriously. Chris felt his heart skip just a bit as he saw the grin on your face unaware of just how much you’d seen. You happily skipped over in front of him.

“Oh my… you got it? You won me a bear. No one’s ever done that for me.”

Chris offered you a sheepishly smile as he handed over the giant bear.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. He put up quite the fight but was no match in the end.”

You giggled as you watched him parade around in ‘false’ triumph. It was still cute no matter what. Chris put his jacket back on and let out a small cough.

“Oh really? I wished I could’ve seen that.”

Chris scratched the back of his neck and went to move around you.

“Where are you going?”

“Out… I gotta go and powder my nose.”

You could see the dazzling smile fall from his face once he realized what he’d said.

“Can I take that back?”

“Nope, too late.”

You smirked at him as he slowly turned around and muttered something to himself.

‘Powder my nose, Jesus. Why don’t you just tell her how much ya ass is sweating too, you dumb-ass’

You chuckled to yourself and turned around to face the booth. The guy still looked like he was star struck as he stared at the autograph which he quickly put away as you walked over. You figured you could kill some time before Chris got back. You reached down in your pocket and fished out some tickets.

“5 balls, please.”

The guy exchanged your tickets and handed you the basket containing the balls but not before uttering his opinion.

“Didn’t you just tell that guy that you sucked at this game?”

“Boy, you got long ears…- Didn’t you just hand off a prize in a way that your supervisor wouldn’t want to hear about?”

“Sorryyy.”

You just ‘mmm-hmm’-ed the crap out of him and placed your bear up on the counter. You scored right away as you aimed for the basket. While you were passing time, someone else had joined the party. Chris stopped dead in his tracks as he watched how you nailed every single shot.

“Aha! A liar with a good arm it seems.”

You turned around flustered that he’d caught you red-handed. You only shrugged your shoulders as you picked up your bear.

“Ohhh, that? Pftt… Just lucky I guess.”

“Mhm, I think not. I’m wounded by the deceiving lies.”

You made a face at him causing him to crack a smile. Considering what you’d seen earlier it was clear that you weren’t the only one who was lying. You placed the bear back on the counter and firmly placed your hands on your hips as you stared into Chris’ blue eyes.

“Okay, okay, okay… So can you look me in the eye and tell me that you won my bear fair and square?”

Chris instantly looked like the kid who’d been caught with his hand down the cookie jar. Anything that resembled a ‘poker face’ instantly fell from his face.

“Well… okay, initially I was going for that BUT that bear wasn’t coming down on its own. So maybe I helped it down a bit yeah. I tried, Y/N. I mean, you saw me miss that shot way too many times and then when you’d said that you never won a stuffed toy, I just wanted to win it for you.”

You placed your hand on Chris’ chest as you leaned up and quickly placed a small and brief peck on his cheek leaving Chris speechless.

“What’s that for?”

“For this. No one’s ever gone to this much trouble to win me a bear.”

Chris blushed from the peck on the cheek and your words. Yes, the two of you had both lied but that didn’t seem to matter at all anymore. The two of you walked off, Chris offered to carry your bear for you like the smooth gentleman he turned out to be. You’d gone to sit down on a bench feeling the day seeping through you. You didn't want to be tired yet. If you were tired, Chris would no doubt take you home and you weren't ready to go home yet. Chris must’ve thought something like that too because he returned with two giant cotton candies. One pink and one blue.

“Pick your poison, my lady.”

“Uhh fancy. The lady wants a little bit of both.”

“Luckily, I was raised to share.”

You gave him a toothy smile as you took the pink one. You small talked while eating the delicious sugary candy while both getting quite sticky in the process.

“Wait a second, you got some on your cheek.”

You moved to wipe your face and then turned to look at Chris again.

“Did I get it?”

“Argh no, you just spread it further. Here let me-.”

You sat very still whilst Chris with careful and gentle hands touched your right cheek. His calloused fingers swiped across your cheek. You watched silently as Chris removed his hand and wiped it across his lips getting the cotton candy off his fingers. You watched how Chris’ eyes widened as he noticed his actions. He opened his mouth to apologize no doubt but you beat him to it.

“Always the gentleman. Thanks for not allowing me to prance around with that stuff on my face.”

“No problem.”

You hadn't even noticed how late it had gotten before you saw the dark skies above you. You finally looked around you and saw how lit up the funfair was. All of the lights from the rides mixed with the lighting from the booths made quite the impact on you. Christmas trees had nothing on this.

“Wow, this looks so pretty.”

“Yeah you do- Uh yeah, it’s great.”

Your cheeks felt hot after hearing Chris’ compliment which you pretended not to hear.

“I don’t even want to leave this place. It’s like magic here. There’s no drama or...gossipy chicks around any corner. There’s happiness all around here.”

“Well, then we better come up with an act if we’re to stay here.”

“Yes, the basket thing is out of question with well you know… your bad aim.”

Chris let out a dry crackle as he playfully shoved you but not too hard. You only grinned in return.

“Think you’re being cute again? Huh?”

“I know I’m cute.”

“You’re lucky that’s true. SO, an act. We can just have you perform some songs, you got a great voice and I’ll...I don't know.”

“You can be my backup dancer in your Captain America costume.”

You both burst out laughing at the mere idea. Chris was so easy to let loose with. You’d found out during the day how much you enjoyed his laugh. It was so very much contagious to be around. Hearing him laugh like that made you smile.

“Oh God, imagine that.”

“Imagine that.”

You’d been having the time of your life but you were only human which meant that the whole day of activity began to latch onto you. You tried fighting the yawn making its debut but it was too late. Chris had noticed you trying to hide your yawn. He chuckled at your attempt to hide it and then casually move on.

“I guess we better get you back home. We’ve got an hour long drive ahead of us.”

“What, no. I’m fine really.”

Another yawn escaped your mouth and you hid your face in your jacket.

“Y/N, it’s okay. We’ve had quite the day.”

Chris stood from his seat and offered you his hand. He managed to balance the giant bear in one hand or rather arm whilst keeping an arm around your waist. He didn’t want to overstep and had almost retracted his arm worried about offending you but your own hand stopped him before he could do something. He smiled to himself feeling you leaning into his side as you walked. Chris strapped your bear in the backseat and opened the car door for you again. The car ride home was less chatty, not that either of you minded. Truthfully you were both a little bit tired but the silence in the car was still comfortable. The music in the car mixed with the feeling of fatigue washing over you made your eyes droopy. Before you knew it, you’d fallen asleep. Chris saw how you’d fallen asleep some moments later and smiled for himself. Carefully while still keeping an eye on the road, Chris used his jacket to cover you so you wouldn’t get cold.

Gentle fingers woke you up. Chris brushed some loose strays of hair behind your ear as he whispered your name.

“Y/N, wake up…- We’re here.”

You stirred awake feeling embarrassed as you came to it. You’d fallen asleep in front of Chris. In his car on your way home. You lazily rubbed your eyes and tried to shake the sleep right off you. You let out a small groan as Chris chuckled beside you.

“I’m sorry. I’m not a fun car buddy...I can’t believe I fell asleep- Oh God, I didn’t snore or say something did I? Abby says that I sometimes talk or mumble in my sleep.”

“Oh, you didn’t snore that’s for sure. Although you did say that Cavill isn’t as hot as that guy who plays Captain America.”

“You sure that I said that?”

“Oh, yeah. No doubt.”

You let out a small throaty laugh as you quietly removed Chris’ jacket from your body and handed it back to him.

“Thanks for that.”

“No problem. You go on ahead. I’ll get your bear.”

You got out of the car and went up to the door of your apartment building. Chris carried your gigantic teddy bear while you were holding onto your small heart shaped pillow that Chris got you as you’d been leaving the fair from one of those claw machines. As you fished out your key, Chris walked up with your bear and placed it on the ground next to you.

“You got all of your stuffed animals?”

“Yup. I think that’s about it.”

“So, I had an amazing time today-…”

“So, I wanted to thank you for a wonderful time-…”

You spoke simultaneously. You both chuckled at this as you looked down a bit.

“I got to say that you went all out today. I mean, how are we ever going to be able to top this day? The next date is going to seem so… bland next to this one.”

Chris smiled widely hearing you mentioning ‘the next date’.

“What?”

“You said our next date.”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I did have a really good time and it seemed like you did too so maybe it was bold of me to assume that there would be a next date but if you aren’t-…”

“No! no, no. Uhh... I also had a great time, so of course I wouldn’t be opposed to going on another date with you.”

Your cheeks felt warm as he flashed you a warm smile. Silence fell over the two of you as you looked at one another. Your breathing picked up as Chris leaned in. Just as he was centimeters from your face you took a deep breath before gently speaking up.

“I don’t kiss on the first date.”

Chris chuckled as he stayed in the same spot.

“Well, technically this isn’t our first date.”

“Oh right, since we made a deal to strike out our first real date you mean?”

“Yes and no…It’s after 12, so technically it’s a brand new day meaning it’s the second date (well actually the third), sooo…”

You smirked at him hearing his arguments and justified reasons.

“So, based on technicalities, you just assume that we’re going to kiss?”

“I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

Again he flashed you an all dimpled-smile your way. You remained frozen in your spot and waited for Chris’ move. You stood very close and you could smell his scent and breath on your face. He smelled of cotton candy, hotdogs and popcorn. Slowly you felt the absence of his closeness and you opened your eyes when you felt your hand being grabbed. Chris had taken a step backwards and brought your hand up to his lips where he placed a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

“Miss Y/L/N, thanks for an amazing time today. I hope to hear from you soon for that next date.”

You watched in amazement as Chris gave you a small bow and turned to walk back to his car. You let out a small gasp of the air you’d been holding in.

“Hey!”

Chris turned around to face you.

“Are you just going to leave now?...I mean…- You’re not even going to try to kiss me?”

Chris’ face lit up a bit and you could’ve sworn you saw a smug smirk form on his face. Chris took three long strides before he stood right back in front of you. He leaned in once again and you found yourself closing your eyes again waiting and anticipating what were to come. You felt his face come closer to yours. His beard softly tickled you. Just as your lips were about to touch, he moved his lips to your cheek where he pressed a very soft and delicate kiss. You couldn’t contain the small gasp that left your lips as realization hit you.

“Sleep tight, Y/N.”

Your eyes soon found two blue intense one staring at you before he turned around and walked back to his car. You let out a small huff in annoyance as you watched the handsome man walk off wishing he’d kissed you.

“Well, you’re certainly something else!”

“Right back at ya.”

“So you’re really just leaving, now?”

“Yup. Think about how big the anticipation will be now.”

“It better be good then, Christopher.”

“It will be, Y/N. I know it.”

Before getting into his car, Chris waved at you and drove off. You stood back feeling dumbstruck but in the best ways. You were already looking forward to your next date with Chris.

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years

Text

Drive By ~ L.P. (Part 1)

A/n: I have a discord I’m part of! I’m gonna add it to every jatp fic I have, so you’ll get updated links as I post or if you just ask because I don’t know how to do permalinks lol. Have fun reading!

Word Count: 5300+

MASTERLIST

"What are you smiling so widely about?" The teasing question came from Luke and was directed at Alex, who had come into the room blushing with a smile wide and bright enough to outshine the artificial lighting.

"Nothing," Alex dismissed, hopping down from the piano he'd manifested on top of. "Willie just answered a lot of questions and now I feel a lot better about what's going on." They'd just gotten done talking about Julie joining the band and how Alex had met a new ghost friend on his walk.

Reggie's eyebrows came together and he reached out, catching Alex's wrist with both of his hands to still the boy. "What's that?" In dark ink, almost like a tattoo, words were set into the base of Alex's wrist. "I didn't know you had a tattoo, and why does it say 'I think you dinged my board'?"

Alex ripped his arm away from Reggie, but the damage had already been done. As Alex looked over at Luke, he could see in the guitarists' eyes what was about to happen. "You found your soulmate?" Luke asked, a slightly bitter tone already in his voice. His nose was scrunched up a little. Not in hate or disgust per say, but edging toward those emotions. Like he was ready for Willie to be a total jerk or hurt Alex.

"Yeah," Alex slowly admitted. Reggie shot Alex an apologetic look but Alex just shook his head. Reggie hadn't done anything wrong. Normally it would even be a good thing, like when Julie had spent hours talking to him about Flynn and how happy she was that Flynn had been her soulmate. Luke wasn't Julie though. Before Luke could go off like he was getting ready to, Alex stood up to his full height, determination setting in his eyes. "And you know what? I'm glad I did. Willie is really great, and it's nothing like they used to say soulmates were. It isn't forced or weird or magically easy. I don't feel addicted to him. It wasn't even like we were flirting with each other or anything. It was really chill and nice, and he was funny and easy going and listened to what I had to say and understood my feelings and helped me. He's a good guy."

Luke was suddenly very interested in his guitar. "I'm happy for you." His tone didn't support his words.

It was hard, because Alex knew that any other time Luke WOULD have been incredibly happy for him. He'd have wanted to know every detail and have hyped him up and been excited and invested in the story like he always was. Luke would have been more than happy to tease and laugh and be so, so very happy for him just like he said. He'd have smiled and hugged Alex, because he knew how hard this had been for Alex. How he'd always thought he'd die without ever really falling in love and then he DID and now despite everything he has answers and a cute boy who's interested in him and a promising relationship waiting to bloom.

But Luke wasn't, and it was all due to the fact that Luke had a soulmate once and swore them off ever since. Sometimes... Sometimes Alex wished Luke had never met Y/n.

It had been a good performance, and Luke was tired. He wanted to go back to the studio and burn off the rest of his performance high with lots of snacks and a good movie, right beside his best friends, like they did after every performance. Before that though, they drank lots of water so they could drive home without passing out. It had happened once and Reggie had sprained arm. He'd sat out the next performance and they all made a rule to be more careful about self care so it wouldn't happen again. They would have just canceled the gig but Reggie would have killed them. They did learn however they hated not performing with everyone present, so here they were.

Because they were just performing at a little bar on a slow night, there weren't many people around. They also weren't a big enough band to perform at somewhere they could get a real bad stage, so they all just sat on the bar, sipping on water so they wouldn't hurt their stomachs. Luke had thrown up once and it was another lesson they'd taken to heart.

As the guys were refueling, a girl approached them. Her smile was wide and she took the open seat next to Luke. Alex had been sitting there but he'd gotten up to use the bathroom. "Hi," she greeted. Her cheek rested on her hand and her eyes sparkled.

Bobby was immediately returning a flirty, "Why hello." He'd always been more of a charmer than the others. Luke was a close second, but Bobby did it more often than he did because Luke didn't like what usually happened when you flirted with someone.

The girl ignored Bobby though, turning to the lead singer, who currently far too busy shoving his face full of food to pay attention to her. 'Hey, slow down or you'll get a stomach ache," Reggie reminded.

Luke nodded and then swallowed, breathing for a few seconds before going to take another, smaller bite. He paused when the girl cleared her throat. "Uh, hi," he said hesitantly, only now registering she'd been talking to him. For some reason.

Her smile grew when he greeted her. "You're Luke, right?" She leaned against the counter, draping herself in an odd way.

Despite how much he hated when people did this, he wasn't thick enough to not know when it was happening. He wiped his mouth, offering an awkward smile. "Uh yeah. What's your name?"

"You can call me anything you like," the girl responded evenly. Her bright hair moved fluidly as she twirled it around her finger. She was pretty, Luke could admit that. Her eyes were a bright blue, and her clothes were a nice silver, which went well with her deep tan.

Unfortunately for her, he wasn't interested. "I'd prefer to just call you your name if that's okay with you."

Her eyebrow arched in surprise. She seemed like the type of girl who dealt with people like Bobby or Reggie. People who were into her and didn't often say no when offered the chance. She was attractive, and probably popular. Luke just... didn't want what she did, and what she wanted was getting more clear by the second. Before she could make some comment that would probably make him feel even more awkward, he slipped off the stool and began to move away from his friends, using it as an excuse to dismiss the girl. She only followed after. "Oh come on," she drawled. "You're hot. I'm hot. We'll have lots of fun. I promise I'll be worth your time." She stepped in front of him, stopping his path and hooking her finger into his collar, pulling him closer to her.

Luke felt panic begin to rise. He'd never had someone come onto him this strong before. Usually they backed off pretty quickly after he made it clear he wasn't interested. What could he say to her to make her lose interest that would make sense without offending her? He didn't want to be mean but... he was the last person to sleep around, even after Alex who was gay in a world that hated people like him. A world that demanded him to keep it secret. HE was more sexually active than Luke was. To say, Luke wasn't. "Listen..." he began slowly, feeling his nervousness twist his gut. His friends had told him so many times that it was okay he didn't want to be with people like Reggie and Bobby did, the same way that Alex didn't want to be with girls like that. It was fine. Yet, every time he had to face it in a situation with someone who might not be so forgiving, he felt the weight of the world on his chest. Not all people were like Alex, Bobby, and Reggie.

"Darling, you're breathtaking." The low purr came from a new body. A hand touched Luke's arm with the most gentle pressure, just enough to nudge Luke backward so the new person could pay attention to the girl. All Luke saw was hair and broad shoulders, but he was distracted suddenly by a weird tingling where the person had touched him. A guy, he realized. "I can't believe there's anyone here that can't see how absolutely beautiful you are." The man rose a hand to brush the girl's cheek with a thumb. Her shining eyes turned to him, taking in his charm in gulps. The man's arm moved to go around her shoulders as he tucked her into his side, burying his nose in her hair to leave a little kiss on her forehead. "What do you say we ditch this poor soul who's so obviously blind and have some fun of our own?"

The girl blushed. "Oh definitely."

An odd feeling went through Luke when the guy made eye contact with him and winked. He turned away from the couple as they began to walk away, hurrying back to his seat. He sat down, trying to get the guy's face out of his head. He'd never been exactly blind to how attractive some people were, but usually it was easy to ignore or forget. This guy... his mind was packed with this guy. Everything about him that Luke had seen in those short moments before he'd left. How he'd smiled at Luke with a look that said he knew Luke had been trying to get out of the situation. Almost like a little 'you're welcome'. And if he was honest, he was thankful.

"Hey, what's that?" Reggie grabbed Luke's shoulder, stilling him so he could get a better look.

"What?" Luke looked over, but he could only see the tip of something inked on his shoulder. It was just out of view for him to see any better.

Bobby moved over then, a smirk growing on his face as his eyes widened. "That's a soulmate mark."

There was a tension between the three boys for a second. Everyone knew that soulmates were a huge taboo, but with all the things between them that were taboo, it was kind of thrilling too. Bobby shrugged off his jacket, offering it to Luke. "Probably a good idea," Luke agreed, putting the jacket on and covering the mark. Even if all of them were cool about it, other people might not be. He could get it tattooed over later or something.

Three full days and no one had stopped talking about Alex and Willie. Willie seemed really cool and Luke was easing up a bit, but when the conversation turned that way he found himself usually drawing away, focusing on cleaning his guitar or writing more lyrics. Today he was fiddling around with a melody quietly, a pencil in his mouth and his lyric journal on the floor next to him. He absently rose a hand to tug at the collar of his shirt. He'd never really gotten used to how high the collar went, or the feeling of fabric against his shoulders. He had always worn cut off sleeves, but had changed it after...

He felt suddenly ill.

"You know we still have some of your old shirts," Alex comments casually. "Most of them are cut off actually. You could wear one of those instead." He spoke with a soft voice, and Luke looked over to see Julie and Reggie going off about Flynn. Of course Alex wasn't one to call Luke out in front of anyone else, but he'd still had to check just in case.

Luke's eyes fell back to the song he was sort of writing. "No it's fine. The sleeves cover... my shoulder."

Alex didn't have to ask, but there was something in his expression. "You know you don't have to hide it here," the blonde reminded gently. "Julie and I have our marks too, and-"

"I know," Luke cut off. "I just... don't want her to ask about it." His eyes flickered to Julie before moving away again.

This time Alex nodded and let it drop. "What song are you working on?" Luke smiled, appreciating his friend more than ever. Luke didn't get to respond though because Reggie began to come over. He was holding Julie's glass of water, thrilled by the fact that he wasn't dropping it.... He tripped though, spilling the water all over Luke's shirt.

"Crap!" Reggie hissed, his eyes widening with guilt. "I'm so sorry, Luke."

Laughing it off, Luke rolled his eyes as he moved to his feet, putting his guitar down. "It's fine Reg." He pulled out another shirt, pushing down the way he wanted to glare at it as he pulled off the wet shirt to change into the new, dry one.

Julie's eyes went wide. "You have a tattoo?"

Luke suddenly froze. He tossed the wet shirt by his other stuff, forcing himself to move to cover his midrift again. "No, I don't."

Alex made an expression between pained and amused. "Guess there goes keeping Julie from asking," he mumbled quietly.

As if on que, Julie asked, "What is it?"

Now, Luke could have lied. But he hadn't, and he didn't want to. He hated lying, especially to bandmates. "It's a soulmate mark. It appeared the first time my soulmate touched me." He pulled his shirt the rest of the way down, covering the mark. Without even thinking about it, he tugged at the sleeve. He'd never worn sleeves before using them to cover his mark. He'd always passed it off as a tattoo, but when the mark had just turned into a bad reminder, he'd started covering it up for himself.

Julie didn't pick up on the tone of his voice though. He had played it casual, so he didn't blame her, especially as she rushed up to him with shining eyes and a wide smile. "Wait what? You have a soulmate? How come you never told me?"

"Because I HAD a soulmate," Luke answered softly, offering a small smile in response to her enthusiasm. It turned a little bitter when he continued, "I don't. Anymore."

Suddenly Julie looked really guilty. "Luke, I-"

"It's okay," he dismissed quickly. "That's just why I don't usually engage in soulmate conversations." He forced his smile to brighten. "Now, where were we?" Seeing his urgency, the others shared looks before moving the conversation onward. They talked about soulmates around him a lot less after that.

Hey, wait!" Luke's eyes had caught the guy that had saved him earlier as he moved through the crowd. Luke picked up his pace, reaching out to catch the guy's arm. Suddenly they were looking at each other straight on. Luke was a little shorter, but he was a little shorter than most people so it wasn't new. "Sorry, I just wanted to thank you for earlier." He felt his body heat up under the stranger's gaze. "I... thought you would have left."

A smile rose to the stranger's face. "I don't exactly require a lot of space to handle business." When Luke drew back, the man ducked his head. "Sorry I didn't mean to be vulgar, I'm just used to people... anyway." He shook his head. "You don't have to thank me. Not everyone likes to get attention like that from people, and I have no issue stepping in when it's required." His fingers tapped against his leg, his demeanor a lot different from the flirty, confident front he'd put on earlier.

Luke swallowed, trying to pull himself together. "Uh... what's your name?"

The guy's shoulders sagged, as if he was disappointed by the question. "Y/n. Yours?"

"Luke," Luke responded. "Listen, I was just wondering-"

"Look," Y/n began, a sudden tiredness coming into his features. "I get that you're not into girls and that's fine, but I've already had sex tonight and I'm really not in the mood to-"

"What?" Luke's face screwed up in confusion. "I don't want to do that. With anyone, let alone you. I... I'm into girl. And guys. But- I- That's not why I-" His face burned hotter. "Listen." He reached forward, grabbing Y/n's palm. He turned it up, to reveal what he was so hoping would be there. A mark, in the shape of a rose. It looked a lot like a tattoo, just without any color. The details were outlined in black ink - even the thorns on the stems. He felt thrilled when he saw it, angling his body to show the exact same mark on his shoulder. "I know we all grew up on the same stories. But I thought... maybe we could get a drink? Talk? I'm the first one of my friends to get a mark and I'd hate to lose the chance to act on it." He shuffled nervously, ready for rejection.

By the look on Y/n's face, it might be harsher than he wanted to face. Y/n surprised him though with a gentle, "I don't think you want me. I- I know we're soulmates, and this has nothing to do with you being a guy, or the whole weird thing most people have with soulmate bonds. I just... I'm not the best person. People don't usually stick around for long."

There was something in what Y/n said that pulled at Luke. "Maybe I could change that. I'm planning on sticking around for a while. How about you?"

Hope of the kind Luke had never seen before filled Y/n's eyes and Luke was rocked breathless by the sight. "You promise?"

"On my life," Luke swore. "At least give me one date to prove I'm not a total waste of time."

Y/n grinned. "You have one date." Luke pumped his fist and Y/n laughed. "Now what did you have in mind?"

Luke plopped next to Julie on the couch, concern already on his face. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, slowly reaching out to rub her arm. Alex was on the other side of her, laying on his chest. The two had gotten really close in all their talk about soulmates but when Alex had shot him a plea for help, Luke had been plenty willing to jump in.

"Yeah," Julie sides, picking up her head. "Flynn and I just got in a fight. It was dumb, I just... Someone made a comment asking about 'my boyfriend' after the performance yesterday. Claiming we were together. They were talking about you." She sighed and Luke felt like he was the worst person to get involved in this, but one look from Alex made him stay where he was. "I told them you weren't my boyfriend, and the conversation moved on. She was a little annoyed that I didn't mention she was my girlfriend, I guess? And then went off about how you're into me or something?" She shook her head.

Luke's eyes went wide. "Wait what?"

"I know!" Julie gushed. "I tried to defend you, because we all know that's kind of just how you are with everyone. I mean people also think you're dating Reggie and that's not true..." Suddenly her head tilted. "Is it?"

Despite the tense feeling of the situation, Luke laughed. "Uh, no." Then he considered it, and tilted his head in thought. "I mean, not that I'd pass up the chance if it came. Just-"

Seeing him struggling, Julie supplied, "Your soulmate?" Luke hesitated before sighing and nodding. "When did you..."

"Not long before the night we died, actually. A month max? Time started to kind of blur as things got more intense and trying to get over a break up and stuff." He shrugged.

Julie nodded. "That makes sense." She hesitated, but finally asked, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, of course, but... what was she like?"

That made Luke smile. "He."

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

He laughed. "Yeah, really. Uh, I mean it was actually Alex who helped me come to terms with that whole me being attracted to dudes thing." He shook his head. "Anyway-"

Julie chuckled. She calmed, her eyes settling on Luke with a gentle curiosity. "What was he like?"

Immediately Luke remembered a time when things were amazing. When life had seemed truly good since he'd run away from home. "He was... like, a light. In a really dark part of my life, he came to me like sunlight in the morning? You know when the nights really dark and the clouds cover the stars and the moon just isn't enough and then the sun rises and it's almost a relief? It's like that. I had enough before him, but after... It was like everything I needed - everything I'd ever wanted or dreamed about or thought of - it was just right there. A whole person made of my dreams." He got a sort of dreamy smile on his face. "He was always so warm and soft. He used to... trace it." He rose his hand so his fingers ghosted over the mark on his shoulder. "When he did, it sort of tingled. Like this warm sensation that rippled across my skin. It always did that when he touched it. I usually did it more though. I'd hold his hand in my lap and just like stroke the mark. Cause his was on his hand, below his thumb. He used to call me his flower because of it." A bubbly laugh rolled from him and Alex and Reggie looked at each other in surprise. They hadn't seen Luke like this since...

Julie's eyes were very soft. "He sounds amazing."

"He is." Luke's smile suddenly faded, slowly. His fingers grazed the rose again. "He dances like I play music. He was really good at it. All kinds of dancing actually. He used to slow dance with me all the time. Just pulling me close when it was just us and swaying back and forth. He did actual dancing too, but I loved slow dancing with him the most. If he was feeling really restless he would HOARD spray paint and sneak out. The next day we'd wake up with some street art of our band. It's how we did most of our advertising back then. No one could ever pin it on us because we didn't do it, and no one knew me and Y/n were..." Suddenly Julie realized why Luke looked so sad while talking about something that was obviously such a happy time. "I mean, two guys are soulmates in a world where both soulmates and anything nonheteronormative is demonized? I was trying to make a band that was gonna get really popular and do a lot of incredible things and we couldn't even DREAM of being caught together, let alone going public. Girls would still flirt with me all the time, and I got distracted really easily with practices and writing music." He shrugged. "I always thought that soulmates were... different, I guess. I learned my lesson." He stood, putting his guitar down. "I'm done for today. I'll see you guys later." He walked out and Julie almost went after him, but Alex shot her a look.

"Well that went well," Julie mumbled, sitting down again and rubbing her face.

Alex sighed. "About how well it always goes." He shook his head. "But anyway. How about we figure out how to get you back on Flynn's good side?" He winked and Julie managed to actually smile. Luke hadn't had luck with soulmates, but she had. The past was the past. It was time to enjoy the now, until Luke was ready to really talk about it.

Luke wasn't sure what he had walked in on, but it was obviously something he wasn't supposed to have. When he opened the garage door, the muffled sounds of an argument trying to be hushed died out immediately and of all people, Reggie and Y/n were the ones who stepped away from each other to break out of whatever heated exchange they'd been having.

Since Y/n and Luke had started... whatever it was they were, Y/n and Reggie had become like best friends. At first Luke had been a little jealous, but at the end of the day he was just glad that his two favorite people had someone when he was busy as he so often was. Bobby and Alex were important to him of course, but Y/n was his soulmate and he and Reggie had known each other the longest. Sometimes he felt like there was a disconnect between him and Alex; the same with Bobby. He and Reggie were always on the same wavelength though. Even when Reggie missed something, he always got the idea or figured it out after a second. He was slower to do so when it came to the others. Y/n was the same way, as if he was just an extension of Luke's body. Rather than an echoed return, it was just one fluid motion. He and Reggie bounced off each other and built; he and Y/n slowly grew together, feeding off a constant wave of energy. Reggie and Y/n were like a game of hot potato, where the potato got hotter each time they threw it. They had that same gaining effect, but not an echo or a constant, just a little bit of energy from each until it was overflowing. The three of them were kind of unstoppable and anytime they could all hang out, it was the most fun any of them had ever had.

That didn't seem to be the case right now.

Y/n snagged his bag, throwing it over his shoulder. "Hey." His voice was strained, and all of his muscles seemed to be tense. He couldn't focus directly on Luke, his eyes constantly drifting to the door. He wanted to book it.

Luke caught Y/n's shoulder, his eyes full of concern. His eyes drifted between the boy trying to run and the one still in the studio, retreating to the furthest corner - seeming just as desperate to escape. "Wait what's happening here?" Luke asked. "You guys never fight." When they didn't answer, he pressed, "Come on, maybe I can help. Friends argue all the time; it's not a good idea to leave on a bad note."

Despite how odd it was, he did not miss at how the two flinched at the word 'friends'.

Finally, someone spoke. "It doesn't matter, dear." Y/n didn't relax, and the small smile he managed onto his face was so forced it was painful to look at. Luke went to argue, but Y/n rose a hand and caressed his cheek and Luke got distracted for a second - just long enough for Y/n to add, "Just some talking between friends." The word came out harder than the others. Friends. Luke was even more confused. "It was stupid to argue about. Some people just have their minds set, and that's it."

Luke's eyebrows came together, eyes moving between Y/n and Reggie. "You know you guys could... tell me, right?"

"Of course," Y/n reassured. "We just..." He sighed. His walls fell and Luke relaxed, knowing whatever was about to come out of his mouth would be genuine. "Can we just not talk about it please? It's something we need to deal with."

That was understandable. Luke could let it go for now.

Luke was glad he couldn't dream anymore. It had taken him a while to figure out he could go to sleep. He didn't tire like he used to, and usually any exhaustion he felt faded pretty quickly if he just sat down and relaxed for a few minutes. He had been nervous the first time he'd fallen into what he now considered sleep, and had woken up pretty quickly. But then he realized he'd been out for half an hour and he hadn't had any dreams. Not like when he had when he was alive.

Y/n wasn't in his dreams now that he was dead.

If he was being honest though, in the very back of his brain, he did miss it. He missed going to sleep knowing that he would be lulled all night by imaginary arms, dreaming of a life he yearned for. A life he missed. A relationship he so regretted losing.

Without the dreams, he started to imagine. Just out of nowhere, if he wasn't engaged in something important, he might just sort of... zone out. And he would think. Think about what things used to be like when Y/n was still around. What life might have been like if Luke had been better. Just, in general. They'd never even called each other boyfriends. The title had never been used, and Luke knew it was because their relationship didn't deserve that. They cuddled sometimes and kissed sometimes and knew each other well, but Y/n had never been Luke's first priority. Of course his music was important but...

The night they'd... broken up? No, that was for people who dated. It was more of just a parting of ways. They'd argued and then Y/n had walked out and like an idiot, Luke had let him. He hadn't gone after Y/n, or tried to fix it after. He'd just lost himself in music and the thrill of being so close to fame and victory. It hadn’t been until he was dead and had realized he’d missed twenty-five YEARS that he even thought about Y/n again.

And now he couldn’t STOP thinking about Y/n. How wonderful and special their time together had been and how much Luke absolutely didn’t deserve it. How he had ruined everything and just let it be ruined. He had been too ashamed to go looking for Y/n because he knew it would only bring him pain. Seeing him with someone else - or even worse, still alone - it would kill him. Again.

What really sucked is that Luke was back to exactly where he’d been when he was alive, after Y/n had left. He was distracting himself with music and work and shutting everyone else out and refusing to talk about it or acknowledge it or anything, and WANTING to go back and fix it but being far, far too terrified to. The result was that Y/n was just always on his mind, more prominent than ever, because now he had so much more guilt. So much more pain, watching all his friends be happy and in love. It was all so much harder to ignore.

Maybe that was why he saw Y/n across the street as they stood outside Bobby’s house, Julie telling them off for going after Bobby and holding onto the past when there was so much in the present to focus on.

Luke suddenly couldn’t hear a single thing Julie was saying.

He stepped past her, eyes wide and heart racing. He had forgotten how beautiful Y/n was. Maybe it was a weird word to use for a guy but... GOD it fit.

The weird thing was that Y/n wasn’t a day older than the last time Luke had seen him. So for a second he thought that maybe he was just imagining it. But the longer he looked, the more clear Y/n became. He wasn’t looking at Luke. His eyes were focused on Bobby’s house, anger twisting his features. And then someone passed him, a woman and her child, and they walked right through Y/n and the small child, a little girl, jumped, eyes wide as Y/n seemed to become clear to her. She dropped her toy and Y/n ran to pick it up and hand it back to her, a soft smile on his face. She took it back with a look of awe and then hugged her little toy close, a huge smile on her face.

She said something to her mom and Luke didn’t know how but he HEARD it.

“Mommy! Mommy! The angel helped me!”

Luke took another step forward. “Y/n?” He only whispered it. He was sure the others hadn’t even heard it, let alone Y/n from all that distance away. But he looked anyway, as if answering to his name, and his and Luke’s eyes locked.

Behind him, someone gasped and someone else shouted in a voice flooded with concern.

Then Y/n disappeared, and with him, Luke felt his heart shatter all over again.

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ptulapeehtata · 3 years

Text

My favourite scene and CG of Hijikata KW

Since this is one of my very first blog about my thoughts on something about Hakuouki, I’d like to write a about the scene that got my best interest in Hijikata’s KW route.

English isn’t my mother language so I might make some mistakes. I apologize in advance if anything was mistaken. Feel free to correct my mistakes both on language and information!

Minor spoilers from KW below

Brief summary of the CG : Chizuru begs him to let her help with anything even after she had helped him with a little bigger task than usual. He then raised her head up and ask for the reason she wants to help so much.

Summarize my thoughts in short :

This scene became my favourite because their affaction improves a lot more than the other time and it totally warm my heart.

The whole thing about my thoughts :

Obviously, this isn’t the first time she wants to help, nor the first time he asked for her reasoning. But this scene seems to be the first time that he was actually asking her for her actual reasons since she just goes “I felt useless” or flattening says “I want to help” most of the time. I love the fact that he even put down his work even though he was busy at the moment just to pay his full attention on her and the subject seriously. Chizuru tells him her true thoughts that she was the one who always receiving help, and now she wants to do something in return. She goes far enough to beg with her forehead on the ground.

Throughout the whole story up until this moment, their affections sure improves little by little. But for this scene, I felt like their affections improves A LOT compare to the other scenes. She shows him her sincerity, he gives her a reply with life lessons, it was like they’re opening their hearts to each other and to finally clear something off their chest since I suppose he must be curious a bit for quite a long time already. The lessons he gave her to not bow so easily and hold her head high is just brilliant, I love that. In the end he did ask her something : make him some tea. I hope it would make him relax even just a little, and his request probably brighten her moods and feelings too. With all this together, I found this scene heart warming and view them as one of their best moments.

I want to mention about this tiny part of Chizuru’s thoughts : “I answered this confidently” as she answered his questions that she’s not doing this for reward. Idk I just like it.

After that, I found his perspective on this scene here. He sees through her sincerity and he loves it(I understand, Toshi, I understand, I love her too). To finally get to know his thoughts/point of view, I’m not sure how to put it, I’m just so glad, really. (I don’t quite get the “I had forced you into a corner then” part, though. If you do, please tell me.)

I also like the scene that occurs before the scene in the CG, the whole scene is funny and adorable. When she asked to help, he was a little surprise but doesn’t say a thing, he goes silence for a while(but long enough that Chizuru thought she’s going to scream lol), then finally assign her to deliver a message. His silence and his fixed stare on her was as if he knew that it’s not neccessary to debates with her anymore since she would never going to back down about the idea of helping and she was trustworthy so he could just assign her something. I wonder if he was thinking to himself like “what am I suppose to do with this kid???”. Chizuru got so excited that she sprint off the room forgetting the message she has to deliver which makes Hijikata nervous. Omg why did you have to be so adorable all the time Chizuru XD.

——————

Again, I’ve never write any blogs before in my life. I apologize if it’s confusing or there’s mistakes somewhere. Please feel free to teach me language and correct my mistakes. You can also share your thoughts with me whether you agree or disagree, I’m more than happy to hear!

#hakuouki #hakuouki kyoto winds #hijikata toshizo #hijikata toshizou #yukimura chizuru #hijikata x chizuru #hijichi

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relaxxattack · 3 years

Note

ayo! (wait this might be a bit of a jumpscare dishdks i apologize) i’m op of That Post and was wondering what your opinions were on the whole woobification thing? /gen

because it’s a Tiny Bit widespread within the dream apologists to sort of,, overdramatize stuff like l’manberg hurting him. like they’re not a 100% wrong but if you look at it subjectively you can see some sort of bias going into that sort of thing that makes the character’s mistreatment a bit more blatant and intentional which,, it really wasn’t? and there wasn’t That Much of it either. especially on twitter (tumblr is much better about it) people just jump to conclusions it seems and yeah. since you brought it up i was wondering if you wanted to write a bit about it from your perspective!

we’re kinda from different corners of the fandom but i still notice that once you are too attached to a character you start taking certain evidence and giving it more weight than it actually has. there’s a blurry line between “taking away a character’s humanity” and woobification and it’s extremely difficult to find a balance when said character shows pretty much nothing of his emotional life (e. g. putting up the intimidating villain act in front of only c!tommy, pretty much everything he does making rational sense with no emotional subtext) and a lot of the fandom instantly jumps to one side or the other while it’s like.

we don’t know by far enough to say “he’s traumatized” or “he isn’t traumatized” or “he was villainized and it hurt him” or “l’manberg didn’t affect him at all”

as a very analytical person people constantly jumping to conclusions grinds my gears, but that’s about it for my own view of the situation - sorry for the rambling.

in general i agree with you that both dehumanization and woobification is Bad and i really hope getting Actual Context sorts this out (e. g. him saying he was betrayed by his friends doesn’t mean it wasn’t partially his fault or that they were allowed to leave him, but it also shows that he did care about that happening. mentioning the cat doesn’t mean anything about what happened to c!tommy but it also shows that he did care about what happened to it. it’s just always interesting to get more information about the way he feels because he usually does a very good job at hiding it.) because man.

it’s like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, especially if you also are attached to the character and are expected to automatically agree with everything the people on “your side” say. it just ends up with everyone being mad and the character being mischaracterised overall.

oh wow hello! i didnt expect the op of the post to find me you’re right lol

and yes i agree! you seem to have a lot of very good thoughts tbh.

and by woobification, i mean exactly what you’ve already pointed out— the people who will say l’manberg purposely villainized dream, the people who will say wilbur faked his mental illness to manipulate dream, the people who are pretty much always talking about how badly dream was treated by people who were acting only fairly for themselves, usually.

for example people who act like dream was a perfect peacemaker before tommy showed up, or that tommy started most conflict. these are just actual lies that are told by c!dream himself to justify his abuse of tommy, and people fall for them incredibly easily because not a lot of people watched early dsmp and know that truthfully it was chaotic even then, and that dream was chaotic too. not to mention wilbur soot tried very hard to secede peacefully with l’manberg and dream jumped directly into war with no warning. and then people say he was forced into their war when, no, he started it.

theres also people who will say like, dream and sapnap for example are such good friends. i’m sure they cared for each other, but dream on multiple occasions has done horrible things to sapnap with no regard for his feelings (like leading fundy to sapnaps pets during the petwar, leading tommy to sapnaps pets during the other petwar and encouraging him to kill them, handing mars over to tommy to use as leverage against sapnap, etc). george he’s been less awful too but he certainly spoke over him and ignored his feelings enough that george felt hurt. he had places in his hall of attachments for beckerson and mars. george and sapnap were right to walk away from being treated like that.

there’s also what you just said here — “dream puts on a villain persona for tommy”— but honestly he acts like that around quite a few people (example: eret) and it’s usually when he’s revealing crucial info, which leads me and many others to believe that ‘persona’ is actually a more truthful version of him.

there’s the fact that he really isn’t safe for people to be around (or at least he wasn't before the prison) because he was planning to come up with ways to control every single person by stealing and threatening their attachments (some of which were not items but were living animals, or a real breathing person).

and then people will say dream was doing exile to enforce rules, or to keep the peace— when it’s very clear in canon it was a deliberate plan to get tommy on his own and into the prison. (from the way he was framing tommy for multiple crimes, and having sam set up the prison, and kidnapping tommy instead of correctly exiling him, all at the same time).

not even going into how he wants to kill and revive people for fun or make tommy immortal.

it’s just— ignoring all these actual facts and saying “oh he misses his friends, let’s get him some friends now” reminds me of like. when people would put flower crowns on pictures of serial killers. and then, there’s hardly anyone on the server who wasn’t subject to dream’s plans, so there’s absolutely no one i would be okay with him interacting with.

just remembered about the torture thing, and wow i still hate it so much. it’s someone’s sick revenge fantasy twisted into a way to get a manipulative villain sympathy, and it’s just gross to me on every account. i do think dream is traumatized-- just not by l’manberg, which was a conflict he started on his own terms. i would think l’manberg did affect him, because he was scared of losing control.

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again— my ideal ending for dream would be for him to be sent far away from dsmp to an island full of therapy animals and super strong therapists who have never met him before. and for him to get a shit ton of therapy until he becomes a halfway normal person. and then eventually he could get integrated into society again; but a different one with new people. (although maybe dteam + bbh + puffy can visit him, they might still like him.)

none of the people on the server (who have all been affected by dream) should be burdened with befriending him or rehabilitating him— look how that turned out with sam! sam had a personal grudge towards dream and it ended with the poor dude being tortured every day; and sam himself falling into corruption and literally cutting off his boyfriends arm. like we can all see thats fucking awful right?

no one who was affected by dream should have to deal with him ever again. and contrary to popular belief, that includes a LOT more people then just tommy. dream isn’t just tommy’s antagonist, hes almost everybody’s.

the only person on the server who might also be able to stand to help dream is techno, and that’s from sheer lack of ability to give a shit. but techno is probably THE furthest thing from a good therapist there is lol, and dream needs better then that.

this kind of just ended up being a rant about my thoughts on c!dream, so im so sorry op. especially since it was probably negative for you. i hope you’re doing very well.

i guess in the end it’s true what you said— people will highlight or ignore things based on what characters they like, and it’s especially easy to do in this fandom, where half the content doesn’t even get watched and then we become a big echo chamber of half-truths.

considering dream has hurt so many of the characters i care about, i almost can’t understand how he could be someone’s favorite or comfort character— but he is nonetheless, and it would be unfair of me to be rude about that.

essentially it just bothers me to see someone who was a perpetrator of accurately portrayed abuse and manipulation (using both those words in their actual definitions, not just as random buzzwords lol) being given the flower crown edit effect. especially since he’s hurt the characters i care about a lot.

ANYWAY all of that being said (this got LONG im so sorry op) i am so so excited to get dream’s pov, because although i disagree with his actions strongly i actually find dream’s character very interesting and cool, and watching his POV is going to insanely fun. i cannot wait to see what theories get confirmed or denied

ALSO incase it wasn’t clear this is all /nm at you! you seem lovely and smart, and neither of us can help what characters we get attached to :]

#c!dream critical #dream meta #og post #hey guys i would actually like some feedback on this one since i worked hard on it #rbs are okay and encouraged :]#my meta

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toorusbaby · 3 years

Text

second choice, pt. 1

hi guys (: this is my very first piece of writing that i’m publishing and i’m so nervous excited to share this with whoever’s reading. thank you for giving this a chance, ily reader. i put my heart and soul into this (literally, it took me ages) and i didn’t think i’d ever share it with anybody else, but here i am at 11:56 p.m lol. there are six parts in total, some longer than the rest. i hope you enjoy <3

summary: being in love with hajime iwaizumi is like riding a rollercoaster of emotions. it’s thrilling as it is exciting, but you feel a little lightheaded... because he doesn’t know how you feel. the worst part? he thinks you’re in love with his best friend.

warnings: just pure fluff, oikawa cockblocks, slow burn, slight angst if you squint real hard

word count: 2,924

part two here

Iwaizumi silently watched from the exit of the ramen shop as Oikawa eagerly helped you gather your belongings at the table the three of you just finished using. Despite the indistinct conversation you and his team captain were sharing, Iwaizumi didn’t fail to notice your small giggles that were probably in response to one of Oikawa’s many attempts at flirting with you. Who in their right mind wouldn’t flirt with you? You were a sight to behold, at least in Iwaizumi’s eyes... and every other male’s at Aoba Johsai, including none other than Oikawa.

It was no secret, not even to you, that you were attractive. With curves in all of the right places, glowing skin, and bright doe eyes framed by long, curled lashes, you were everything females wanted to look like and what every man dreamed of calling theirs.

Even though he knew you were physically gorgeous, Iwaizumi was more drawn to the beauty of your soul. Your alluring intelligence intrigued him the very moment he first heard you speak your mind without hesitation in class on the first day of school when you were both first years. When you became an assistant manager for the Aoba Johsai volleyball club during your second year, your kindness enthralled him when he discovered that you voluntarily stayed up all night on multiple occasions to devise game plans for every Seijoh volleyball match.

By your current third year of high school, Iwaizumi found himself utterly captivated by your empathy when he saw you through his silent tears, embracing a sobbing Kindaichi away from peering eyes, whispering words of comfort despite your own sobbing, shaking frame as a result of Seijoh’s lost chance of attending Nationals. Back at Seijoh later that day, Iwaizumi overheard Kunimi thanking you for comforting Kindaichi when he couldn’t do so himself. When he saw you smile, gently place a hand on the second year’s shoulder, and reassure him that you would do absolutely anything for ‘your boys’, he was enamored.

It was safe to say that Hajime Iwaizumi had fallen in love with you.

“Y/N, let me walk you home. It’s already dark out. Can’t stand the thought of my pretty girl getting into danger, you know?” Oikawa’s flirtatious words brought Iwaizumi’s attention back to reality. The green eyed boy’s gaze landed on your approaching frame and he couldn’t help but grin when you rolled your eyes in mock annoyance.

“The sun isn’t setting for another hour, Oikawa. I’m sure I’ll be fine,” You reassured, giving Iwaizumi a smile of gratitude when he opened the door for you. Oikawa’s quick stumbling after you however, completely destroyed the butterflies that fluttered in Iwaizumi’s stomach, causing the annoyed ace to huff.

The three of you made your way to the corner of the street but not before Oikawa could stop whining. “Y/N, you can’t possibly leave me with Iwa-chan!” The setter complained with a pout and sagged shoulders but you paid him no mind.

“Oi,” Iwaizumi grumbled, harshly elbowing his best friend’s chest, emitting a yelp from the pretty setter. “What’s that supposed to mean, dumbass?”

You glanced at the red crosslight before facing the two volleyball players with a grin. “Don’t be ridiculous, ‘Kawa. Iwa gives the best company. Isn’t that right, Iwa-chan?” You turned to Iwaizumi with a toothy smile, a small giggle leaving your lips when the spiky haired boy pouted. Hajime’s cheeks flushed not only because of how cute you looked craning your neck to look up at him, but also because of your usage of his cursed but infamous nickname.

Maybe that stupid nickname isn’t so bad, Iwaizumi quickly thought. Thanks, Oikawa.

Iwaizumi opened his mouth to respond, but before he could speak, Oikawa cut him off.

“Lying isn’t good, little manager. But if you give me a hug, I won’t complain for the rest of today… maybe.” The setter smirked and opened his arms in your direction.

I take my ‘thanks’ back, you sly fucker, Iwaizumi thought begrudgingly.

Once again, the ace felt as if he had been punched in the gut. When Iwaizumi saw you chuckle and embrace his cocky best friend, who was more than happy to tightly wrap his arms around your body, jealousy filled the boy to the brink. The hug you gave Oikawa was a hug he desperately wanted for himself instead. Sure, friends hugged each other all the time; Iwaizumi could simply ask you for one and call it a day.

Would Y/N even be comfortable with that?

It was that specific question that constantly lingered in the back of his mind. The fact that he had the biggest crush in the world on you however, prevented Iwaizumi from even wanting to ask you for one in the first place.

It was simple, really; the only thing that scared Iwaizumi more than asking you for a hug, was simply being rejected by you under any circumstance.

On the other hand, you always questioned why Iwaizumi never seemed to want to have any physical contact with you. You were comfortable with all of the boys on the volleyball team; even Kyoutani, of all people, allowed you to give him small side hugs. The only times you and Hajime ever made physical contact were through quick high-fives on the court when he scored points during games. Other than that, everything between the two of you was verbal. Hugging him was definitely out of the question. Perhaps Iwaizumi liked having physical boundaries set in place? Or maybe because you were a girl and he was hesitant? You weren’t sure, but you could understand. After all, the ace did have his shy moments despite his aggression towards Oikawa.

You never admitted it to anybody, not even to yourself, but Iwaizumi’s physical distance made you feel insecure. You thought you were fairly attractive and friendly enough; you felt confident most of the time. Did something about you disgust him? Did you talk too much to the point where you annoyed him? Did he lie about viewing you as a friend only to preserve peace within the volleyball team?

The idea of Hajime disliking anything about you caused your stomach to twist and turn. After all, it was only natural since you’ve had such strong feelings for Aoba Johsai’s beloved ace for quite a while.

Your troubled thoughts clouded your mind and you instinctively clung onto Oikawa a bit tighter. The action didn’t go unnoticed by Iwaizumi, who was surprised to feel his fingernails carving crescent shaped marks into his right palm. He immediately released his grip and clenched his jaw. Even if the ace decided to turn his gaze away from the sight of his crush and best friend hugging, it definitely didn’t help when Oikawa grinned and began to make flirty comments about how perfectly you fit in his arms.

It definitely struck a nerve, but the pain was overshadowed by jealousy and annoyance.

Iwaizumi had never experienced relief the way he did when he saw the crosslight finally signal for pedestrians to cross the street. With a quick sigh, the boy called out to you and Oikawa. “Shittykawa, you can let her go now. She has to cross,” he said and gestured to the crosswalk. It had taken all of Hajime’s willpower to steady his voice and keep the venom out of his voice.

At the sound of Iwaizumi’s voice, you immediately let go of Oikawa, ignoring the captain’s small whimpers and claims of ‘missing you already.’ Instead, you made your way to the edge of the curb instead. You thanked the spiky haired boy with a bright smile which he returned, but something about it was strained. Even if your heart ached at his weak expression, you found yourself quickly adjusting Iwaizumi’s unfolded collar, an odd habit you developed as the team manager, before stepping onto the pavement.

Iwaizumi was caught off guard by your sudden action but kept his composure regardless. Clearing his throat, he lifted his hand to offer you a small wave. “Be safe, Y/N. Text one of us when you get home, yeah? And don’t stay up too late studying for tomorrow’s exam,” the ace chided. “You seriously need to get more sleep.”

Your smile widened at Iwaizumi’s protective words, even though you’ve heard them on multiple occasions. I’d get more sleep if you didn’t occupy my every thought at two in the morning, you thought before stepping onto the pavement. When Oikawa’s pleas for you to text him instead of Iwaizumi interrupted your thoughts, you teasingly rolled your eyes at the setter, but nodded at the shorter boy beside him.

“I’ll text, don’t worry. As for getting more sleep, I can’t make any promises... but I’ll see you two tomorrow. Be a good boy, Toru!” You joked and gave Oikawa, whose cheeks were crimson from the cold and your usage of his first name, a pointed stare before making your way home. The setter chuckled to himself and shoved his hands into his pockets, moving to stand beside his best friend who silently watched you walk down the street.

When you were a safe distance away, Oikawa opened his mouth to speak. The setter’s words were so sudden, Iwaizumi had to steady himself; otherwise, he would have stumbled off the sidewalk and into the now moving traffic.

“You like her, don’t you?” The taller brunette noted, his eyes unwavering from your shrinking figure the farther you walked away. It wasn’t a question, but rather a statement that needed confirmation before anything else could be said. Oikawa’s tone wasn’t the usual, cheerful one that Iwaizumi was familiar with. Instead, it was serious. The team captain didn’t have to look at Iwaizumi to know that the green eyed boy was far too stunned and flustered to come up with words of denial.

The deep shade of red that tinged Iwaizumi’s ears and cheeks, along with widened eyes was enough to confirm Oikawa’s assumption. With a click of his tongue, the team captain chuckled under his breath, his lips molding into a small smile. Iwaizumi didn’t have any words; he didn’t know what to say. What could he say? How do you tell your best friend that you’ve been in love with the girl that he’s currently interested in? What kind of best friend does that?

Maybe Iwaizumi wasn’t the ‘best’ friend after all.

The small nudge of Oikawa’s elbow to Iwaizumi’s arm caused the flustered boy to shove both hands into his pockets. Together, the duo silently made their way onto another familiar street in order to get home. No words were spoken until the ramen shop was out of sight; only the shuffling of shoes against the ground could be heard. With his hands folded behind his neck and head leaned back to admire the clouds, Oikawa was the first to break the silence.

“You know you can tell me anything, Iwa,” Oikawa adjusted the strap of his shoulder bag, turning his head to glance at his friend. “It’s okay if you like Y/N.”

With a swallow of his throat and a heavy sigh, Hajime focused the path ahead of him before responding. “Look, Oikawa. I’m sorry. Really. I know you told me you were into her, but I’ve liked her since our first year. I tried to stop when you told me you were interested,” Iwaizumi’s fists clenched in the pockets of his jacket and his eyebrows furrowed. “But I just...” he began to twirl a loose piece of thread from his jacket between his fingers, a nervous habit of his. “I couldn’t. I can’t. Whatever, it doesn’t matter.“ He cut himself off.

Since I think she likes you too, was what Iwaizumi was going to finish off with, but it would make his heart ache even more than it already was. As much of a pain Oikawa was, Iwaizumi knew his best friend didn’t deserve to be the target of his demise. It wasn’t Oikawa’s fault, not at all; it was his own for liking you as much as he did.

Especially because he knew that he could never compete with his best friend.

It was no secret that between the duo, Toru Oikawa was always the preferred choice. The first choice, in fact. He was as attractive as he was charismatic; who in their right mind wouldn’t be interested in Oikawa? He was six feet tall and the oh-so very talented captain of the volleyball team, not to mention the fact that the setter received at least two love confessions a day from swooning fangirls.

What special qualities did Iwaizumi possess that could even compare to his best friend’s many accomplishments? Sure, he was the team’s ace. After his failed stunt against Karasuno’s team at qualifiers however, Iwaizumi now believed he wasn’t worthy of such a title. On a better note, the green eyed boy came to realize that he was in fact good-looking, having received a number of love confessions himself. Even if he had a serious, stoic expression most of the time, girls seemed to take interest in it. Gentle green eyes and soft, but spiky hair that gave his appearance a bit of an edge, what wasn’t to like about Iwaizumi? Nothing, really. But in comparison to Oikawa? Everything.

Even with attractive physical traits, Hajime Iwaizumi wasn’t Toru Oikawa. In fact, he would never be on Toru Oikawa’s level.

Hajime Iwaizumi was simply destined to be the runner-up. The second choice. Nothing more, nothing less.

Oikawa let out a quiet hum, but kept his eyes up ahead when Iwaizumi glanced at him. “Nothing to apologize for, Iwa-chan. But cut the shit. It does matter. Y/N is a great girl... like, seriously. Nobody intimidates Kyoutani the way she does, not even you. She doesn’t even have to try,” Oikawa let out a loud laugh and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but shake his head and chuckle himself.

“I do like her, don’t get me wrong,” the setter sighed, but the smile on his face never wavered. “But I think you love her.” Oikawa’s smile, now a smirk, widened when he noticed Iwaizumi’s ears beam pink with embarrassment. The taller boy reached out to poke one, but his hand was quickly swatted away by the blushing wing spiker.

“You little shit, I-I’m just cold!” Iwaizumi grumbled and raised his scarf to cover a part of his red nose to avoid his best friend’s teasing gaze. He let out a stubborn sigh.

“Who’s the little shit? I’m not the one who’s under six feet, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa snickered mockingly. The death glare Iwaizumi sent Oikawa’s direction was enough to silence the captain’s laughter. “Whatever. But I’m still gonna back off regardless.” Oikawa’s words only confused Iwaizumi, who questioned the taller boy.

“But why? You like—“

“I like her, yeah. But it’s nothing serious, I’ll get over it in a few days,” Oikawa’s word choice immediately caused the ace’s eyes to narrow, but the setter held both hands up to his chest in surrender. “Don’t take it the wrong way! No, it’s not like that, I’m not an ass. I just really want to focus on volleyball for now, that’s all.” He reassured and grinned at his friend’s eyeroll.

“Besides,” Oikawa added. “You two really would make a cute couple.”

A cute couple?

Iwaizumi let his friend’s words float in the air as they turned the corner to near his house that was further down the block, before allowing them to sink in. A comfortable silence was shared between the two until they finally made their way in front of the Iwaizumi household. The older of the two was at a loss for words, still too flustered and embarrassed from being read so easily, especially by Oikawa of all people.

The fucking nerve. Iwaizumi bit the inside of his cheek.

Nonetheless, he turned to face Oikawa, whose face showed genuine joy; joy for his best friend who finally developed interest in a person after avoiding romance for years up until now. Truthfully, Iwaizumi couldn’t be annoyed with that. He sheepishly placed his left hand behind his neck and took a breath before speaking.

“Um. Thanks... for hearing me out. For understanding, too. I’m still really sorry though.” Iwaizumi’s sincere words were met with Oikawa’s annoyed groan.

“Jesus, would you stop apologizing? Apologize one more time and I swear I’ll actually steal Y/N from— ow, I was just kidding!” Oikawa lifted his hand to rub the side of his left arm that Iwaizumi had punched with a frown on his face. The ace then made his way up his porch steps before turning over his shoulder to glance at his friend whose pain subsided, the boy now waving goodbye to Iwaizumi.

“Make sure to tell me if Y/N texts you that she’s home, yeah?” Iwaizumi called out and opened his front door.

“You got it, Iwa-chan! She’ll probably text you instead though.”

“We’ll see. I doubt it though.”

When he entered his house, Iwaizumi quickly greeted his mother with a kiss on top of her head before making a beeline to his room. As soon as Iwaizumi put his belongings down on his desk, he heard his phone’s text tone go off in his pocket.

Guess she texted Oikawa already, he thought and pulled out the device.

When Iwaizumi’s eyes landed on his screen, he couldn’t stop his face from burning when he read the text notification. Without realizing it, he was smiling from ear to ear.

Y/N: ‘Got home safe, like I promised I would. See you tomorrow, Iwa (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)’

#haikyuu #iwaizumi #hajime iwaizumi #haikyu x reader #iwaizumi x y/n #haikyuu fluff #friends to lovers #aoba johsai #seijoh

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ri-ahhh · 4 years

Text

van life

I wasn’t gonna post this because it’s just like an overload of unrealistic softness but now that we know that they’re selling the van I think now is the best time if I’m gonna do it lol.

Also I’m sorry I can’t make this shorter on your dash by putting a ‘keep reading’ break. Tumblr is shitty and permanently fucked on my desktop where it just won’t load the page once I’m logged in so I have to do everything through mobile🙄

warnings: fluff, smut, kinda unedited

***

MJ sighs as warm morning sunlight kisses her skin through the passenger window of the tiny house van. She and Grayson had decided to have a beach day to themselves — the first one of summer — and she could’t be more excited. Nothing makes MJ Macias more content and at peace with her life than laying under the Pacific sun until her nose freckles and her skin takes on that healthy golden hue. Wrinkles are a risk she’s willing to take as long as she has a nice, long podcast, something to munch on, and, of course, a good view of her boyfriend in the surf.

That view of him rivals the one of the ocean in her opinion, which is just past his window as they cruise down the PCH on their way to Malibu. MJ wiggles her white-painted toes on the dashboard and smiles as she watches him sing along quietly (and off-key) to the Tame Impala song filling the cabin of the van. She loves his profile so much: the perfect slope of his nose; his full lips; the chunk of hair that swoops across his forehead.

She lifts their clasped hands from where they rest on her thigh with their fingers threaded together, and kisses the back of his wide palm.

“You’re so handsome, Bear,” MJ murmurs against his skin.

Grayson stops singing long enough to look over at her and smile brightly, his eyes hidden behind his black Louis Vuitton sunglasses. He pulls their hands towards himself so he can copy her kiss, only to her her own soft skin.

“My pretty Peach,” he returns with a squeeze to her palm, making MJ flush the color of her pet name. “Always so beautiful in the mornings.”

MJ hums and takes her turn returning their hands back to her lap, trailing her long nails up and down his muscular, veiny forearm. Apparently they’re equally as headass for each other today. “Just in the mornings?” she teases, tickling the sensitive patch of skin near the crook of his elbow.

She can’t see his eyes roll, but she imagines they do as his grin turns playful. “Of course not, but especially in the mornings. Your hair is in that cute braid and your skin is all silky soft and your eyes are extra green.” He takes his eyes off the road for a moment to appraise her looking exactly as he described. “And, you know, usually on the weekends you’d still be naked at this time. I like that part about mornings, too.”

“Oh, Lord,” she laughs with a shake of her head. “Grayson!”

She gasps his name and giggles harder as he completely catches her off guard by moving their hands right over his hardening cock. MJ squeezes him reflexively, and Grayson gives a little grunt as he shifts in his seat with a smirk.

“What?” he asks in mock defense, placing both hands back on the steering wheel. “I had to show you how much you affect me! I only have to think about you naked in our bed and it goes up.”

“That’s sweet,” MJ says, stroking his dick one more time before moving her hand further down his thigh, “but if you think I’m giving you road head in this car on this twisty road, you’re very mistaken.”

Grayson makes an obnoxious little whiny noise in defeat, pouting playfully and muttering dejectedly, “I knew we should have taken the Tesla.”

MJ raises an eyebrow. “Well, we wouldn’t have been able to bring your surfboard. Or be the first ones to christen the tiny house.”

“Oh, shit,” Gray says quietly, surprised. MJ smiles at the small victory of teasing him, her eyes diverting back to the beautiful scenery ahead of them as her mind wanders to all the things they can do in that makeshift bed.

“How about road hand, then, to start it off?”

She lets out a frustrated huff, his request interrupting her daydream. If there was ever a scenario where she didn't trust Grayson, it was one in which he was receiving any overt sexual pleasure whilst controlling a giant motor vehicle.

“Gray, I love you, but you’re pushing it.”

“Understood.”

***

It takes about half an hour for them to reach their destination, but MJ knows it was worth the drive as soon as they exit the car and she inhales the clean, salty air. They park at a little camping lot they had reserved a spot in for the day, the glittering ocean a mere few hundred feet away.

“Surf looks good,” MJ remarks, her hand shielding her eyes as she gazes out at the water. It always makes her a little nervous when Gray goes out in big swells, so the mild waves are a happy sight for her. “Nice and small; just how I like ‘em.”

Grayson looks out as well as he climbs on the roof of the van to retrieve the surfboard. “Funny, I happen to know for a fact you like ‘em long and wide,” he jokes. He just couldn’t help himself, apparently, his wide smile looking down at her from the top of the ladder a clear display of how proud of the stupid joke he is.

MJ watches the exposed muscles in his arms and shoulders ripple under his skin as he begins wrestling with the hooks and ties securing the board to the roof racks. The sight combined with his words and thoughts of what transpired earlier in the car makes her center pulse dangerously.

Needless to say, he’s successfully turned her on despite her best efforts.

“You’re insufferable, Dolan,” she says with a shake of her head. Her body feels heated from his innuendo and also the midmorning sun that is steadily raising the outside temperature. She pulls off the hoodie she had thrown on in the chilly early morning and steps into the back seat to haul out the cooler and beach bag.

“Yeah, but you love me,” his voice comes from right behind her. She turns around and yelps in surprise when she sees Grayson peeking his head upside down into the cab from the roof. He’s inches from her and is just dangling there like an overgrown monkey, which makes her fall back in the seat in a fit of giggles. He wags his brows at her playfully. “Ooh! Spider-Man kiss!”

MJ rolls her eyes good-naturedly and happily scoots over to clasp his cheeks in her hands, granting his wish by planting a sweet kiss to his lips. The scruff on his chin tickles her nose peculiarly, but she’s not mad at it. “Too much. I love you too much, you goof.”

Finally, with all their beach supplies in hand, they walk together towards the ocean. The private beach that they can access with their camp site is quiet and secluded. Best of all, it isn't clogged with tourists or people in general, which they both greatly prefer. Less people means they’re less likely to be bombarded by fangirls, or paparazzi, or any other unwanted distractions from what MJ hopes will be a perfect day.

As soon as the texture under her feet changes from firm concrete to sunken sand, MJ is stopping to remove her flip-flops so her toes can dig into the fine powder. This moment of first stepping on the beach is one of her favorite experiences, as minute and insignificant as it seems.

She looks up at Grayson, who glances back down at her questioningly. “Race ya,” she challenges suddenly, hauling ass to a perfect open spot on the wide expanse of beach. If there’s one thing she and her boyfriend have in common, it’s a highly competitive spirit.

“Cheater!” Grayson calls after her. He has the surfboard under one arm and the cooler slung over his shoulder, but everyone knows Grayson Dolan is the last person to turn down a competition. Which is why he does his best to catch up to her even with the obstacles in his arms holding him back.

The finish line is also only in MJ’s head, so she stops when she finds a spot she likes. She drops their bag and turns around with her arms raised like Rocky. Grayson isn’t very far behind her, being as in-shape as he is he’s reached her quickly, but he slows down earlier than he really needs to so he can take her in. Her breasts heave beneath a leopard print bikini top, loose hairs escape from her messy french braid, and her long legs glitter with the sand she had kicked up on her run.

She’s the most beautiful, dorky, amazing woman he’s ever seen and she is his.

MJ watches smugly as her boyfriend stalks over to her. “I wi—“

Grayson releases everything he’s carrying to the sand and grasps her face in both hands, pulling her in for a long, lingering kiss. MJ lets out a little squeak of surprise, but she melts into him half a second later. Nothing warms her soul more than his lips on hers, and she wraps her arms around his middle to bring them as close together as possible.

When he pulls back, Grayson stares at her with complete, obvious adoration. Ethan would have called him a simp if he were there, that’s how sappy his twin looks. Grayson can’t help himself, though; he is a simp for MJ, and, truthfully, he doesn’t give two shits who knows it as long as he makes her smile up at him like she is now, every day.

It’s why yesterday he had casually opened a new browser window, convincing himself he was just curiously window shopping on the ring section of Tiffany’s and the like… even after he got sucked into the customization tool on one website for nearly two hours.

Shaking his head and biting his lip through a grin, he traces the freckles on MJ’s cheek. “I want a rematch later.”

MJ squeezes him and smacks his ass playfully before releasing him and reaching into the bag for the big blanket. “You’re always such a sore loser,” she teases, unfolding the cloth and weighing it down with Grayson’s help. She digs through the bag again and hands him his wetsuit. “Go catch some waves. I have to catch up on this podcast by this really sexy guy and his twin brother.”

If there could be snapshots of the rest of the day, they would have been out of a picturesque rom-com. For a while, MJ rests on her tummy as she watches Grayson glide through the water, his deep voice simultaneously reverberating in her ears through her AirPods.

Eventually, when he’s done surfing — looking like a beach Adonis when he walks up the shore with the top half of his wetsuit folded down at his hips, surfboard under his arm and his wet abs glistening in the sun — he joins her on the blanket.

In the early afternoon MJ props herself up on her elbow, appraising his form with hungry, appreciative eyes as he tans on his back next to her. He has his hands pillowed behind his head, which causes his biceps to bulge and her thighs to clench. MJ is lost in him as she trails her finger over the features of his face — down his button nose, smoothing over his arched brows, across his rosy cheeks, against his pillowy lips. She smiles as he sighs contentedly and drops a peck to the tip of his nose before settling with her cheek on his chest. He smells like tanning oil and ocean and that clean, woody musk that MJ knows as him.

Later, they wade around in the sea between batches of sun bathing. At some points, he’s holding her waist-deep in the water with her legs wrapped around his middle and arms around his neck, lips connecting occasionally amidst easy conversation. Other times they have full-on water fights that have her squealing and him laughing as they splash each other back and forth.

It isn’t until the orange and pink hues of the sunset paint the sky that they’re brought back to the beach for good. Once they rinse off and have all of their things collected, they head back to the van.

MJ removes her bikini inside while Grayson reattaches the surfboard to the roof. She slips on her sweatshirt and a fresh pair of soft shorts just in time for him to carefully crack open the back door to make sure she’s decent.

Grayson smiles widely as he crawls in on the already made bed where she sits and is piling her damp hair into a messy bun. “So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, giving her a lingering kiss while her hands are still mid-twist in her long hair.

A pleasant warmth swoops through her belly at his compliment; it had taken her a while to get accustomed to not only how often Grayson rains sweet praises like that down on her, but how sincerely he means them, too.

She hums into his mouth right before he pulls away. “I left your shorts there, baby,” she says, gesturing behind her with her head. Gray thanks her and she starts to dig through the cooler as he tugs his swimsuit down his inked legs, following them back up with the clean shorts.

They eat dinner with the back doors wide open, a perfect view of the sun setting below the ocean’s horizon right in front of them. A pleasant breeze floats around them in the van, cool and refreshing from being picked up right off the water. MJ nuzzles her cheek on Grayson’s bare shoulder, and he presses a kiss to the top of her head as she chews her last bite of tofu.

“Thank you for such a perfect day,” MJ says a minute later, gazing up at him while he takes a sip of La Croix. “Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I felt so…carefree. Loved. In love. Not that you don’t make me feel those things every day, but… y’know. Today was just great.”

Her hand reaches to caress his stubbly cheek, a soft smile at the corner of her full lips. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Gray.”

Grayson looks down at her silently, but his eyes say everything his lips don’t. He tucks his can and their empty tupperware back into the cooler, tossing the bag into one of the back seats behind them so it’s out of the way.

He cups her cheeks in both hands, wasting no more time in bringing their mouths together. MJ sighs and shifts so she’s that much closer to him, just as his tongue prods gently at her pliant lips to coax them open.

They make out like that, slow and deep, with the soundtrack of crashing waves wafting through the open doors. Gray lies her down and supports the back of her head with his forearm, his free hand swooping up and down her side before settling in the dramatic dip of her waist as he pulls away just barely.

Eyes closed, their breaths come heavy and mingle sweetly in the minute space between them. Grayson suddenly lets out a little incredulous huff, shaking his head and diving back in blindly to suck softly on her bottom lip. MJ lets out a little moan and digs her nails gently down his bare back, her eyes fluttering open.

“What?” she asks with a little smile of her own, nuzzling her nose against his in an Eskimo kiss.

Grayson’s hazel orbs meet her green ones, and the hand resting on her waist comes to cup her face once again so he can stroke the new freckles that litter her high cheekbone.

“I’m gonna marry you,” he answers, chuckling at her shocked little gasp. He hurries to clarify himself. “One day, when we’re ready. You’re my world, MJ. Maybe it’s selfish, or self aggrandizing, but hearing you say that makes it so obvious to me that you’re the only person I’d ever want to spend the rest of my life with. Because I feel the same about you. I only ever want to make you feel that way; nothing makes me happier.”

MJ is stunned into silence. Grayson isn’t exactly the most eloquent person, so somehow she reasons that his perfect delivery of such meaningful words means they’re truly heartfelt. Not that she would have doubted him either way, but their relationship has suddenly shifted even deeper in the matter of one day. One simple, amazing day.

She feels the prickle of tears behind her eyes, and bites her lip through a watery smile as she raises her hand to run her fingers through the back of his hair. No matter how happy she is, her instinct for dealing with any emotions is to deflect with humor. “Can’t wait ’til I pop out a few of your babies. From the sounds of it, you’ll be worshipping the ground I walk on.”

That hits him right in the baby fever, his dick hardening even more behind his shorts at the thought of her belly swollen with his child. Joking or not, she’s absolutely right.

“Fuck,” he whispers, grinning as he ducks his head to nibble her favorite spot just behind her jaw and right under her ear. “How many of my babies? Hm?”

“Mmm,” she sighs, scratching lightly at his scalp, considering the question seriously. “Four little Dolan babies, I think. Three boys and a little girl.”

“Yeah,” Grayson agrees easily, making his way across her jaw with soft little suckles. “But make that three girls and a little boy, and you've got a deal.”

MJ giggles and grabs his face so they’re staring each other in the eye again. “No actual baby-making until there’s a ring on this finger.” She wiggles the digits of her left hand, which Grayson grabs and kisses the back of with a smirk. If only she knew just how close that moment might be. “But we can always practice in the meantime.”

Grayson nods and hitches her leg up his hip as he ducks down for a surprisingly chaste kiss considering her invitation a second before. As much as he wants her, he has a need deep in his chest just to be close to her for the moment. To feel her hold him and nuzzle into the warm crook of his neck, sucking gently on that freckle there to make his head swim like after a nice glass of wine.

MJ is just as happy with that arrangement, and she lets her body be still and her breaths tickle the sensitive skin at his collarbone. The ocean breeze billowing through the open doors of the van is cool and salty and comforting.

“It’s crazy,” Grayson whispers after a few peaceful minutes, his fingers starting to trail up and down her covered back slowly. MJ pulls back a little so she can see his face. He isn't looking at her, but rather out the open van doors at the last moments of the sun setting behind the water. “I remember feeling exactly this way the first day we met, only now it’s…more. You felt right then, so right it was scary. And here we are. How did I know that you were my person as soon as you let me walk you back to that tent?”

MJ smiles and her belly swoops. She thinks back to that night, how scared she had been and how instantly — well, as he said — right Grayson had felt the minute they crossed paths.

“I did kind of seduce you,” she chuckles, lifting her head to nibble at the underside of his chin and reveling in the sensation of his deep chuckle vibrating against her lips. “Maybe you’re just under my Black Widow spell. Have I never let it slip I’m only after your money?”

Grayson laughs louder, squeezing her to his body tighter. “Nope. But that’s the MJ I remember falling head over heels for in a matter of hours. Smart and witty and sweet and so fucking pretty with her green eyes and bright smile.”

MJ stares up at him with stars in those emerald eyes he adores so much. He is unreal to both see and hear; his skin has turned olive and his hair has the crisp of the ocean still in it, and the fact that he can still pinpoint the little things he liked about her from so long ago…

“Do you love me?” she asks quietly. It’s so ridiculously unnecessary to ask, he tells her multiple times a day, every day.

“So much, Peach,” he murmurs back predictably, finally swooping down to capture her lips like she wanted earlier, tongues meshing instantly.

He tastes so familiar and sweet. She wants to devour him slowly, intimately, like she has a thousand times before.

“Close the doors?” MJ gasps after the simple swipe of his thumb over her nipple through her sweatshirt makes her thighs tremble and her hips grind onto his half-hard erection. Something about the heartwarming intimacy of the day has translated to her body being physically sensitive beyond belief.

Grayson nods and sits up, reaching for the switch of the fairy lights MJ had hung up a few weeks ago before slamming the doors shut on the nighttime scenery.

While he does as she asked, she scoots up to rest her head on a pillow and watches his bare, chiseled torso glow in the dim, sensual lights. Right as he turns around he catches her struggling to free herself from her hoodie.

“Let me do it, Peach. I wanna do it,” he breathes, dipping down to kiss her soundly before tugging upward on the hem of the soft fabric. MJ drops her head to the pillow to break the seal of their lips, lifting her arms up so he can pull the garment over her head.

Grayson flings it to the front of the van and brings their mouths together so quickly, like he simply can’t be away from her lips for longer than a second. His hands reach up and cup the pliable mounds of her breasts, which are several shades lighter than the rest of her chest. Clearly, he could care less, and MJ sighs softly as he massages them firmly, his calloused palms creating delicious friction on her hypersensitive nipples.

“Still the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen, too,” he smirks, making his way across her jaw. MJ smiles too, eyes closed in bliss as he kisses the familiar trail down her sternum. Predictably, his warm lips suction around the bud of her left breast, and she lets her mind wander through the pleasure to flash back on the first time he did this.

“We’re still kind of in a tent, too, y’know,” she gasps as he switches sides, letting out her first moan of the night when he scrapes his teeth against her. “Just…more bougie.”

Grayson hums, quickly getting lost in the feel of how soft her tits are and how much he loves the sensation of her hard nipples under his tongue. He drops his hips down so he can grind his full erection against her hot center, eliciting wanton gasps from both of them.

MJ groans again, the feminine sound literal music to his ears and the perfect reinforcement to keep going. She hooks her legs around his waist to hold his hips against her, thrusting up against him as he continues to bite and lick and suckle her breasts.

“Holy shit, Gray, right there… I’m gonna cum,” she whimpers, grasping at his hair to hold him down where he was sucking perfectly on her breast, and continues to grind roughly on his dick. Sure enough, a few seconds later she’s shuddering with the most intense orgasm she’s ever had without manual stimulation. Even from Grayson.

Grayson himself can hardly believe it; they have a great sex life, but he can’t remember the last time he had gotten her off just through some intense dry humping.

He isn’t going to question it, though, because it only means one thing: she’s as voracious for him tonight as he is for her. He growls when she starts to come down and surprises her with his mouth planting roughly back on hers. MJ kisses him back lazily as her mind clears some, smiling and fluttering her eyes open to meet his dark gaze when she feels his middle finger replace his tongue in her mouth. She closes her swollen, pouty lips around the digit and sucks, holding onto his hand and maintaining complete eye contact with him when he moans softly. She pulls his hand out of her mouth and pushes it into her shorts.

“Fuck,” he rasps, collecting her slippery cum against his finger, swirling it against his thumb before trailing his middle finger up to her clit. He soaks in her expression as her eyes roll back at the first contact, his favorite reaction she has to his touch. “Fuck, MJ. So fucking wet for me.”

MJ nods quickly, opening her eyes again to watch him watch her. “Lemme taste,” she whimpers.

She pulls his hand back up and doesn’t wait for permission or leave him time to process her demand as she sucks the slick moisture straight off his finger, the taste of herself gracing her tongue causing her pussy to gush even more. When his brain finally catches up, he’s immediately ripping his hand away from her with a harsh groan and hooking it around the back of her neck to kiss her deeply. His tongue plunders her mouth as he searches for traces of that sweet, earthy tang he knows oh-so well. MJ’s hands distractedly push at the waistband of his shorts, desperate for the feel of his dick in her hands.

“Please, baby,” she whines against his lips when they break for air, using the moment of clarity to tug more determinedly at his shorts. “Need you.”

“Need me where?” he teases, backing up so she can’t reach him as he pulls her own shorts down her long, newly tanned legs. Once he flings the scrap of fabric to join her sweater, he ducks down and swipes his tongue quickly over each of her nipples. “Here?”

MJ groans and shakes her head, her brain not operating at enough capacity to tease back, it’s so clouded with desire for him. “Gray…”

Grayson smirks and grabs one of her hands that are coasting down his back and attempting to pull him down against her. He cups her petite palm against his pulsing erection, sighing a little when her fingers wrap around him through his shorts instinctively. He drops his hand and brings it to her pussy, his fingertips dancing delicately against her swollen lower lips. His head swims at how wet she is and how the solid feel of him seems to have brought her mind back to earth, because as soon as he lets go of her hand she delves past his waistband to grip him directly.

“My dick, baby, you need my dick?” he asks softly, his voice a little high and his breath pitchy as she strokes him steadily now.

MJ moans and her pussy throbs simply at his words. She nods hastily. “Need it in me,” she manages, meeting his heated gaze as she gives him a firm squeeze. “Love your dick.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, his touch leaving her as he helps her in getting him completely naked, kicking his shorts off when they reach his ankles.

He takes a moment to gather himself and to slow down, trying to get himself back in that intimate headspace they were so deep in earlier, so that this doesn’t turn into just a hot, hard fuck. They love that, and it’s kind of their bread and butter in the bedroom. But he wants to hold her close and savor her body, to pass that loving energy between them in the most special, physical way.

MJ’s chest heaves as she watches Grayson hover above her, staring at her, and she parts her legs to welcome him back into her space. He looks like a fucking Greek god in the low light, his hair curly from the saltwater and sweat, his skin golden and his muscles bulging. She can’t possibly want him any more than in that moment.

“C’mere,” she whispers, reaching her arms out and making grabby hands at him. She can’t allow another second to go by without the sensation of his smooth skin against hers.

Grayson smiles sweetly at her, eyes sultry as he lowers himself at her request and presses their bodies together from chests to centers. She cups his cheeks and scratches her fingers against his scruff as they kiss slowly, deeply, desire building intensely once again as they grind together at the middle.

“Please, Grayson,” she finally says again.

All thoughts of any more teasing are out the door as Grayson obliges her. He dips his fingers in her pussy, testing her readiness and using her sweet juices to coat his dick.

MJ spreads her legs up and out, bent at the knees, and she throws her head back with a gasp as he enters her in a short thrust; a little more on the second, until he bottoms out with the third.

“Fuck me,” she whimpers, her hands pushing on the firm globes of his ass.

Grayson obeys with a groan, drawing his hips in and out steadily. “Wanna fuck you slow,” he says in her ear, thrusting all the way in and all the way out. The warm clutch of her perfect pussy is so intense at that tempo that he shudders and his eyes roll back. “Slow and deep, Peach.”

“Yes,” MJ agrees, her breaths coming in fast despite the maintained speed of his dick. He’s working her up so good, and she leans forward to bite into the junction of his neck and shoulder out of habit to keep her sounds muffled.

“Yes, baby,” she squeals quietly when her minute adjustment shifts the angle just right for him to hit her spot over and over. Her nails claw at his back, scraping over the work of art that is both his rippling muscles and the picture of the lions inked into them. “Oh my God, keep fucking me like that.. like that…”

The air confined in the van is warm and thick. Sweat drips from the ends of his hair, his hot breaths fan over her forehead, and his chain dangles enticingly across her face as he stares down at her all blissed out beneath him. Nothing turns him on more than her words of encouragement, which are usually muted due to the fact that his omnipresent twin brother lives across the hall. But now that they’re alone, in nature — just like the night they met — all filters are off. It makes him even more determined to get her to cum so hard she forgets any of those sweet praises she’s mumbling other than his name.

It’s already so, so good, but as soon as he gets on his knees just enough to gain more leverage to thrust even harder into her, that knot in MJ’s stomach starts growing in a fantastically unfamiliar way. Her eyes roll back and Grayson reaches a huge hand up to support her head against his shoulder, sensing how perfect the angle is for her and wanting to help her maintain it. She’s getting tighter and wetter around him, so much so that he has to grit his teeth and hiss to avoid having to pull out and stop.

“MJ,” he moans into her ear, tugging on her lobe with his teeth, an unspoken warning that he’s close. He’ll hold on as long as he can, but he absolutely needs to get her there first.

In the back of her mind, she comprehends his cue. But she’s so focused on reaching the bursting point of that expanding ball behind her belly, she can’t help but selfishly draw every ounce of pleasure she can from him. She thinks she knows what’s going to happen, and it will be a first-time experience for both of them.

It’s only going to take a few more deep, hard thrusts, and she’ll be there. Almost there…

“Gray!” she squeaks, squeezing a hand between their bodies to push against his abs, just in time for him to pull out and her to gush all over him and the blankets serving as makeshift sheets beneath them. It’s an indescribable release that washes over her, her own loud, shaky squeals of pleasure distant noises in the back of her head. She can only see colors behind her closed eyelids, greens and blues and lavenders sparkling in her mind’s eye like a mystical fog.

Grayson can’t believe what he’s seeing. His shocked and aroused groan sounds obnoxiously loud and foreign in his own ears; the fact that he doesn’t bust his nut right there on the blanket next to hers is a miracle. Instinctively, he reaches his fingers down to help her through it by rubbing her clit, huffing out an incredulous laugh when her thighs clamp instantly around his hand and a little more of her juices come out, soaking his hand. His name tumbles repeatedly out of her lips, just like he was aiming for and unwittingly exceeding his own expectations.

He’s painfully hard as he leans over her again, kissing her through her mindless whimpers as she starts to slowly come-to, her damp thighs opening once again and allowing him to slip between them. Right where he belongs.

“MJ?” he whispers, stroking her brow softly and watching her face intently. “You okay?”

Eyes still closed and breasts heaving, MJ takes a second to respond, but she moans quietly and nods, puckering her lips in invitation for him to meet with his. He obliges, indulging her for a moment until he can’t wait anymore. “Where do you want me to cum?”

“Inside,” she breathes at once, reaching down to grasp him and bring him to her dripping pussy. Grayson flinches at her sudden grip on him and the overwhelming wetness against the sensitive head of his dick. “Come on, Bear. Want you to cum hard inside me.”

With a groan, he slides back inside her, and a few hard, sloppy thrusts later, he’s shooting deep in her pussy. He’s never cum so hard in his life, and he whines into her mouth with the timing of his spurts. She hums contentedly, obsessed with that feeling of warmth that comes with, well, his cum.

“So good,” he murmurs when he’s finally done, pulling out of her slowly. He grabs a spare towel and cleans up the liquid white that follows him dripping from her center. “That was incredible, MJ. You’re incredible.”

MJ shakes her head in agreement, clapping a hand to her forehead and giggling softly, her knees bent and swaying side to side. “I thought we had done everything to try to get that to happen. Turns out we just had to go back to the beginning.”

Grayson lies down next to her, turning her head with a gentle hand on her cheek so he can press their lips together. “I love you,” he says simply. “My pretty Peach.”

MJ grabs a blanket and tosses it over the both of them, brushing her nose against his once they’re cuddled together. “And I love my Gray Bear. Mine.”

“Yours,” he whispers in affirmation, tucking her head into the crook of his neck until they’re both lulled to sleep in their cozy little bougie tent.

#dolan twins #grayson dolan #grayson dolan smut #dolan twins fic #grayson dolan fic #grayson mj #grayson dolan oc

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fruitquake · 4 years

Note

listen. idk what your headcanons for reg are,,, but,,,, aroace reg coming out to sirius?? brotherly feels??? if you don't vibe with that just bless me with those two brothers, i need to see them hug

mate, i literally love this prompt. here, i hope you like this and that it gives u all the black brother feels <3

hope it’s okay i made this a muggle au, they’re just what i do best lol

(also: at first sirius is quite ignorant but pls read the whole thing before judging)

Regulus’ heart was beating like a hummingbird’s as he raised his hand and knocked on the door to his brother's room.

“What do you want?”

Sirius no doubt knew it was him. Their parents never knocked.

Regulus opened the door, struggling to control his breathing. “Uhm… Sirius?”

Sirius was sitting on his bed, laptop in front of him. He rolled his eyes when Regulus entered.

“Hang on, guys,” he said to the computer screen. Regulus recognized the faces on the screen as Sirius’ friends: James, Remus, and Peter. He took out his headphones and finally looked at Regulus. “This better be important.”

“It is!” Regulus said. It was important. If Sirius knew how much courage it had taken to come in there in the first place, a kind of courage he likely wouldn’t be able to muster again, he would understand the importance. “Please, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Sirius sighed, turning towards his computer again. For a moment, Regulus thought he was being given the cold shoulder, but then Sirius said to his friends: “Gotta go.”

He hung up and closed the computer, then looked back at Regulus, eyes softening as he noticed how nervous he was. “Everything alright, Reg?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Regulus answered in a shaky voice. Why was he so nervous? Surely, he didn’t have to worry about Sirius not accepting him, when Sirius himself understood what it was like to be… different.

Sirius himself hadn’t gotten the luxury of coming out on his own terms. Regulus had found out about him and Remus last summer, despite Sirius’ attempts at hiding their relationship. At first, it had been difficult to look at his brother the same: Their parents’ bigoted views had gotten to him, however much he tried to deny it. But over the course of the year, he’d gotten so much better, and then… Well, he’d started to realize he wasn’t “normal”, as their parents put it, either.

He’d thought he was gay at first. It was the only other option he knew and if he didn’t fancy girls, he had to be gay right? He’d ignored the fact that he didn’t fancy guys either, constantly telling himself that it would come eventually. But then he’d discovered the term “Aromantic”, and everything had made sense.

“Come on, Reg,” Sirius said, gesturing for him to sit down on the bed. “Tell me what’s up.”

Regulus sat next to him. He wasn’t scared to tell Sirius anymore. He was ready. “I'm asexual,” he told him. “And aromantic.”

The blank look in Sirius’ eyes was hard to read. “Sorry, what’s that?” he asked after a moment.

“Well,” Regulus said. “You like boys. Some people like girls, and some again like both…”

“Very well observed, Reg.”

“And I,” Regulus told him. “I don’t like anyone. At least not in that way.”

Sirius stared for a moment, then he shook his head. “That’s not a thing,” he said. “You can’t just not like anyone.”

“No, it is a real-”

“Maybe you’re gay,” Sirius interrupted him. “Trust me, at first I was confused, too, as to why I didn’t like girls.”

Regulus wanted to cry. His own brother didn’t believe him. “I’m not gay,” he said.

“There’s nothing wrong with being gay!”

“That’s not what I’m saying!”

Sirius was taken aback by the sudden raise of Regulus’ voice. He’d tried to hold the tears back but there they were, pooling up in his eyes and slowly rolling down his cheeks.

He managed to catch Sirius’ shocked expression before turning around to leave. Before he shut the door, he briefly turned around to look at Sirius. “I thought you of all people would understand.”

My love <3: everything alright? we haven’t heard from u all evening and u usually never stop spamming the groupchat

Sirius looked at the text from Remus, thinking about a good response.

Sirius: Dw I’m fine. Just had a bit of an argument with Reg

He bit down on his lower lip. To call it an argument wasn’t entirely fair. He quickly added another message:

Sirius: I think i might have fucked up

My love <3: how so?

Sirius: Well, it’s kinda hard to explain in text. Can I call you?

My love <3: ofc

Remus picked up after the second ring. “Hey,” he said. “What’s going on?”

Sirius hesitated, before asking: “Have you heard the word “aromantic” before?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well,” Sirius mumbled. “Reg told me he was aromantic. And... asexual? But… That’s not a real thing, is it?” he asked.

“Yes, Sirius, it is a real thing.”

Oh… “Shit,” he whispered, the image of Regulus running out of his room with tears in his eyes playing in his head again. “I definitely fucked up.”

“You told Regulus it wasn’t real?” Remus asked.

Sirius sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I… Yeah.” He wanted to try and defend himself but did he really deserve that? “I’m a terrible brother,” he mumbled.

“Well, it was definitely not okay for you to invalidate his identity like that,” Remus said. “But it doesn’t make you a terrible brother. I know how much you care about him, Sirius. You just need to make it up to him and, most importantly, let him know you support him.”

Sirius nodded. “Right,” he said. “Yeah, you’re right, babe. I need to do that.”

The music from Regulus’ headphones was so loud he barely heard the knock on his door. He paused the music and sat up in bed, unsure if he’d really heard anything.

He heard the next set of knocks quite clearly, though, and his brother’s voice which followed them. “Hey, can I come in?”

Regulus thought back to his conversation with Sirius yesterday. That’s not a thing. You can’t just not like anyone.

“No,” he answered. “Leave me alone.”

“Reg, please,” Sirius said. “I have something for you!”

“Go away.”

There was a pause, and Regulus thought Sirius might’ve left, but after a while he said: “I’ll just slide it under the door, then.”

Regulus turned on his music again and turned away from the door, but he still saw the piece of paper sliding through the small space underneath the door. He didn’t care. Whatever it was, he didn’t want it.

The song ended and a new one began, the loud bass drowning out the world. But it couldn’t silence his curiosity…

He glared at the piece of paper on the floor, before finally giving in and picking it up.

His heart caught in his throat. It looked like a handmade card of sorts. In the middle, Sirius had drawn a heart, one side in the colours of the asexual flag, the other coloured like the aromantic one. Above the heart he’d written, in pretty cursive letters: “Sorry,” and underneath: “I was a dick.” The “was” has been scratched out and replaced with “am”.

Regulus teared up, but this time they were tears of joy, as he rushed out the door. He almost collided with Sirius, who was still standing in the hallway. He glanced nervously at Regulus.

“I know this doesn’t make things right,” Sirius said. “But… I hope it counts for something.”

Regulus nodded, looking down at the card still clutched in his hands. It was clear that a lot of effort had been put into it.

Sirius put his hand on Regulus’ shoulder and he looked back up at him. There was a sincere look in his eyes, something Regulus had never seen from him before.

“I’m sorry I was so ignorant, and so quick to judge,” Sirius said. “That’s exactly how people treat me for my sexuality, so… I really should’ve known better. I’m sorry.”

Regulus bit down on his lower lip. He wasn’t going to cry in front of his brother again; it was embarrassing enough the first time.

“I just want you to know,” Sirius said, “That you have my full support, Reg. I… Yesterday, after our conversation, I spent hours doing research and I found out some really interesting things. Did you know sexuality is a whole spectrum?” His eyes glistened with excitement. “Like, asexuality and aromanticism are even spectrums of themselves! Isn’t that cool?”

Regulus couldn’t help but grin. He was having trouble concealing his own excitement. “Yeah,” he said. “That’s cool, Sirius.”

Before he even realized what was happening, Sirius pulled him into a hug. A real, warm, brotherly hug. Regulus couldn’t remember ever being hugged like that before. He didn’t quite know how to feel about it.

“Y’know,” he said, arms hanging awkwardly in the air as he wasn’t sure where to put them. “I really appreciate your support, but this is kinda weird. We never hug.”

That only made Sirius hug him tighter. “We do now,” he said. “C’mon, just roll with it, you’re ruining the moment.

Slowly, Regulus returned the hug. It actually, strangely, felt… Good? “Thank you,” he mumbled, feeling safer and more loved than he remembered ever feeling before.

Sirius chuckled. “We should do this more often.”

#aaaaaaa i rly hope you like this #sirius black #regulus black #aroace regulus black #the black brothers #the marauders era #wolfstar #muggle au

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dallonm-archive · 4 years

Text

So I Turned Church Mud Into A Novel Lol Oops | NaNoWriMo 2020

Folks the JOURNEY I have been on in the last 3 days. I’ve been on a great albeit chaotic Church Mud high and it led to? This?

For those who don’t know, Church Mud is meant to be a ~7k words short story for my writing dissertation (and it still is). I attempted to do Draft Zero over summer, completely missed the mark, pretended it didnt exist for a month and here we are. One thing I learnt from that attempt though was that there is a much wider story to be told than what we’d see in those 7k words. Back then I was content with it only existing as a short story, not having all the parts told, because I liked the idea of Felix and Dorothy existing in this small window with a happy ending that’d otherwise be temporary. But I cannot help myself :) I met my advisor on Wednesday and reaffirmed that I’m at a really good place with this story in terms of ideas, themes and character - what’s missing was just the plot. So that’s what I’ve been working on (and killing my sleep schedule over) since, and what happened was: I realise most of my ideas wouldn’t fit the short story --> But they’d work in a novel --> So I guess I’m writing Church Mud as a novel after I graduate? --> But I kinda wanna write it now --> But I can’t --> But I want to --> Chloe your dissertation --> Hey you want more novel content? Here’s chapter titles --> God I Can’t Wait To Write This As A Novel --> Hey that thing where you write a novel in a month is happening soon...could be a...perfect excuse to...….,,,

So I had a ~revelation~ at 4am: why can’t I write it now? NaNoWriMo coincides with when I’m meant to brainstorm this story, so why don’t I take what I have and pants it as a novel, intentionally #LoseNano2020 and use what I wrote to infer what the short story will look like whilst also have a Draft Zero to work with/finish/rewrite next year? I debated if this was a good idea because it felt ~unconventional~ but I realised that a) I want to write this as a novel anyway and b) this is where I’m loving the project and that’s what matters and c) makes it feel less like uni work lol I’ve spent the all day playing around with what Church Mud The Novel would look like, and not only am I o b s s e s s e d but it also taught me? so much? about the short story? I was worried it’d get complicated but from the vague plot idea I have, I have a clear vision of Church Mud The Short Story separate from the novel, but I also see how it would fit into the novel as a chapter, and seeing where it’d fit in has really helped me figure out where it sits in the twins’ lives and so many elements I hadn’t considered before. I believe very strongly in Writers Intuition and my intuition is telling me that this is the direction I need to go with this project. My only issue is Church Mud doesn’t fit as a title for the novel at all and was never going to be the title, but I really don’t care oop, I’m not titling it until next year unless I come up with a title so good I want to change the short story as well lmao. But other than that this is working so well for me and really catalysed the momentum I already had atm for this story. I’ve also wanted to rework how I share Church Mud things here and this is a perfect way to at least for the next month, but before I ramble more lets actually talk about where the story is!

CHURCH MUD

Genre: literary fiction Setting: California (+ probably some other states? Idk I’m not American wtf is a state), 1986 POV: third person present + retrospective moments, split between twins Felix and Dorothy The Vibes: hazy summers, hot air, 3am, saltwater breeze, grainy photographs, empty roads at night, the moon blurred by clouds, arms resting out car windows, abandoned churches, telephone boxes, getting lost on purpose, cigarette smoke, dust from an old Bible Deals with: faith & the weaponization of it to control others, identity, perceptions of reality, chosen family, independence v co-dependence, free will, trauma & what it means to “let go”

CONTENT WARNINGS: religion/religious imagery (specifically Christianity), trauma, toxic relationships, inferred addiction (all updates will be tagged with these/any more specific warnings)

This is still in very early conception, in the sense of it’s existence as a novel, but it’s definitely an expansion on the ideas I had for the short story, where these two seek to let go of their past together so they can live their own, new lives, and also restore their tangled relationship that could never be fixed through letters and distant contact. When Dorothy left the controlling religious cult she grew up in, she never gave herself a chance to properly process the complicated emotions that came with that decision, or the trauma she went through, opting to cope with it by putting all her energy into building her new life and embracing her identity. Watching her brother navigate the same new, confusing path she took four years ago forces her to look back on her own experience, and the repressed memories of events that prompted her to leave in the first place. When Felix catches up with her, he struggles with the realisation that adjusting to this new life and world won’t be easy, and whilst it was the right choice, his impulsive decision has ramifications. Trauma does not necessarily stay in the place you associate it with and for Felix, it’s like seeing all of it from a birds eye view, all at once, including everything he blocked out. With his faith, his sister, and his drive to be a good person, he has hope for himself and the world, but the pain and anger he harbours will not make it easy for him. ^by no means a pitch literally just the copy paste of the quick summary I wrote for myself lmao

The most exciting part of this to me is how different, yet similar the novel feels. This version of the story isn’t necessarily happier, it’s still rough around the edges, but it’s definitely from a different mindset and there’s this haziness to it that doesn’t exist in the short story. It feels like a grainy home video that they’d never let see the light of day. I wouldn’t call it dreamlike or softer because of this, but there is this distinct tonal shift from the short story to the novel that I can only describe through the aforementioned Vibes. As I said, I have an idea of where the short story would fit into the novel’s timeline as a chapter, but they still won’t be the same. The short story is obviously more restricted to one singular event, and that turns the intensity and tension up high. This difference is also 100% influenced by the fact that the short story is set only at night (bar for some potential flashbacks), and the night plays a huge thematic and atmospheric role. Of course parts of the novel will take place at night, but the presence of daytime changes the mindset to me? In the short story it feels like they’re stuck in this perpetuate-esque night, whereas in the novel you know that the sun will always rise.

This story is also very different aesthetically, but at the same time elements of the short story’s aesthetic come into play and clash with the unique aesthetic of the novel, where they coexist, but are also in conflict with each other. As you can tell from these two moodboards where you can really see how for the second I gave up trying to make it coherent lmao:

To me there are two distinct aesthetics, and they are both very different and exist in different ways, but they are both inherently part of the story, and it feeds into this idea of perception of reality and these two realities that the twins perceive: the “outside world” and the gated world they grew up in.

The stars of the show, my favourite disaster twins:

Not fragile, but not made of stone either

Loves very hard, sometimes more than she’d like

A protective and loyal soul, especially with those she loves, but she never wants to forget to protect herself

If I’m in love with my best (female) friend, no I’m not <3

-goes to the edge of the pier and stares wistfully at the ocean so everyone knows that I am the main character-

Loves her brother more than anyone else but is struggling to figure out his new role in her life. As teenagers she felt painfully tethered to him because they were always The Twins, and she had nobody else, as adults she hopes to find a balance between their deeply close bond and their harshly different lives

Arc driven by defining your identity and then redefining it, and facing the parts of it you’d rather lock far away. Also deals with her experience growing up as a girl in a religious cult in the 60s/70s, and the relationship faith has with her feminist identity.

As of now, there’s more focus on him in the novel, since the short story focuses on Dorothy and I feel to write him from an observer perspective I need to get into his head first

Just found out restarting your life completely is hard?

Trying to be a good person, wants to be a good person, but there’s an anger in him that he hates but it’s festering and it’s growing

But ultimately he is a sweet and soft person and that’s what he wants to be in life even though it’s hard, it shows especially with his sister

I think at some point he locks himself in a cabin and? I would too

Centred around perception of trauma and v influenced by my own experiences with that, where you think things will be easier as soon as you leave that situation but really it just makes you look at everything from a distance and be like “what the fuck?? that actually happened??” (which conflicts with the fact that you KNOW you’re in a better place and you would never go back, but it hurts and it’s hard especially understanding the placement of your trauma in this new space)

I need to give this dude and his sister a happy ending for my own wellbeing. I don’t know how that’ll look but these two will get their happy endings. I actually don’t think I’ve loved two characters more and I love all my characters deeply

And I think that’s all for now! This 100% was not the direction I expected to take but I am so glad I did, and I also love the opportunity to reintroduce this story because good Lord it’s changed so much (and this instance is the most change). I also think this is the perfect Nano scenario for me, as someone who’s never done it before, there’s zero pressure on me to “win” because I don’t expect to even finish this. I’m just going to see where it takes me and see what it’s given me at the end of the month. I’m also not outlining this at all lmao, one because me and outlines do not get along but also my Preptober is just. the work I have to do for my dissertation anyway, which is reading and gathering a lot of fiction/nonfiction about cults/religion, and all the weird and unhinged takes on it. It’s very slow but it’s also fun! My uni work this weekend is literally to read The Girls by Emma Cline so I think I won here?? I also want to dedicate the rest of October to the short stories I planned to write for Nano (I was going to work on my collection).

I don’t know if I’ll do a taglist for this - I have the og Church Mud one but like I said I’m rethinking how I want to share this story and updates for this will only be regular in November so?? But chances are I will be constantly on my bullshit for the next month and a half with this story, pretty update or no pretty update

My NaNoWriMo page is here, although fair warning I have No idea how this site works, this is my boomer moment. Excited to clown about this story though!

- Chloe

#first off my fatal flaw is interchanging between Felix and Dorothy and Dorothy and Felix #second off i would die and kill for them #writing #amwriting #writeblr #writeblr community #religion /#trauma /#nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2020

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