#like why did he even bother to voice those details out loud..... are you looking.......

[tinyfantasminha]

dddsdjhsdhjd#$Z#$CcCZ?:?Z

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im at my last straw i cannot contain the silliness any LONGER

[gotham-daydreams]

Not Here

[Yandere! Platonic! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]

[Warnings: Mentions of neglect, Mild Yandere Behavior, Batfam being hella stupid.]

(Not really proofread. The birds and bats seeing that y'know- maybe not paying attention to people and neglecting them isn't a good thing. Chaos ensues. More of a development thing. Might be a little ooc?)

Tags: @bigcandlesmolbrain

Chapter 2 of this post. Chapter 3 Pt. 1, Pt. 2. [Series Masterlist]

๑۩۞۩๑—————————————————————๑۩۞۩๑

Bruce liked to think he was a good father, for anything that was worth. Or at the very least, a decent one.

He wasn't perfect by any means, but he felt like he raised his children the best he could, and had made them into responsible and diligent adults. Dick was a great example of this, and even if Damian was still growing up, Bruce had hope that he'd turn out to be good as well. The hardships his current Robin had to face would pay off in the end, Bruce was almost too sure of that.

Those he decided to take under his wing had their flaws, yes, but even if he didn't say it out loud or point it out often. He did believe that they were good at what they do, or at least were on the right path to becoming good vigilantes. Bruce couldn't help but be proud and prideful of where his children and sidekicks were, and could only look forward to how they would continue to develop as time went on. Despite their feelings towards him, and his own faults, mistakes, paranoia, and so on. Along with how he felt about them, and their flaws — he couldn't help but respect the people those in his little mess of a family where becoming, and turning out to be.

Or maybe he was both overestimating and underestimating himself, and the true effects he had on those he decided to look after.

Since, for a few days now, he felt like something was... off.

The Manor seemed quieter these days, and even if he couldn't remember a time where it was particularly loud, the detail felt misplaced to him. Sure, he hasn't hosted a gala or party in a while, but that didn't feel like it was the reason why the silence suddenly bothered him.

Bruce tried to think of all possible reasons, a little surprised himself that this feeling of his was bothering him so much, but the more he thought about it the more confused he became. There didn't seem to be a particular reason for this... and yet, just as he was about to put this feeling aside, he heard it.

["I, um, I was just wondering..."]

["Oh, uhh, that's quite alright! Oh, one moment please... oh! Second chorus... T'was brilling, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wade..."]

It sounded like some sort of... play? Bruce wasn't too sure, but still decided to check it out regardless, wondering why something like that was playing in the first place.

So, allowing the sounds of the play to guide him, he continued on.

["Why- why you're a cat!"]

The voices grew louder as Bruce drew closer, interest peaked as he tried to recall and see of he knew this play. The lines sounding familiar, now that he was really listening to them.

["A Cheshire Cat. All mimsy were the borogoves..."]

Once Bruce rounded the corner he saw a... familiar face on the screen.

A student play was being filmed, and the play itself was Alice in Wonderland.

Whereas Bruce didn't recognize the actor for Alice, he did recognize the actor for the Cheshire Cat, but couldn't quite put his finger on it...

Was... was that...?

"Y/n?" He whispered your name, voice barely above a whisper.

No, it couldn't be. You didn't participate in any plays, and surely if you did he would've known about it. Even then, that didn't explain why he was seeing this now. The play itself had to have been a recording, since you looked so young...

How long ago did this take place?

["Oh, wait! Don't go, please!"]

["Very well. Third chorus..."]

["Oh no, no, no... thank you, but- but I just wanted to ask you which way I ought to go."]

["Well, that depends on where you want to get to."]

["Oh, it really doesn't matter... as long as I g-"]

["Then it really doesn't matter which way you go! Ah-hmm.... and the momeraths outgrabe..."]

Bruce was staring so intensely at the screen that he hardly noticed how the lines and voices faded into the background. His focus centered on you, disbelief gnawing at the back of his head.

He had never seen you smile like that before, not during all the times he's seen you anyway. Even if those moments themselves were small and short from what he could remember, the smile you wore during your performance felt... new in a way. Like something he hadn't seen before — not on your face anyway. Though that wasn't the only thing that made Bruce feel weird as he watched the play.

It wasn't anything to do with your acting skills. They were fine for the most part — and honestly considering the age you probably were during the time of the play, they might've been above average, or even a little higher than that. Not even the girl who played Alice, who also did relatively well, was the source of this odd feeling.

It wasn't the costumes or the set up, or even the lighting, and how he could faintly see the silhouette of other actors and such just behind the curtain, because of the camera angle. No, it hardly had anything to do with anything like that, but, how should he put this...

... How come he didn't know about this? How come he wasn't aware of this play before? Let alone that they had a recording of it, and that you were even a part of it... but Bruce still felt bothered by this whole realization because, well.

Why didn't you tell him about this?

"Master Bruce?"

The sudden voice snapped Bruce out of whatever trance he was stuck in, as he whipped his head around to face the source of it.

He huffed softly, "Oh, hey Alfred." Bruce greeted calmly, acting as if the butler hadn't caught him off guard.

Alred couldn't help but raise a brow at that.

Almost in a silent, embarrassed way, Bruce glanced off to the side only to notice that the recording was still playing, and so he decided to ask about it. Since, if someone knew anything about anyone in this Manor, it would be Alfred.

"Say... what's this playing on the TV?"

"It's a recording of one of Master Y/n's plays, Master Bruce." Alfred answered simply, almost as if it was common knowledge. "Apologies if it's too loud, I decided to play it while cleaning. I can change it or turn it down if you'd like."

"No, no it's fine... but since when has Y/n acted in plays? I don't remember hearing about this." Bruce stated, confusion growing as another emotion began to swell in his chest. One he was all too familiar with, but ignored for the moment.

"Since middle school, if I recall correctly, but it was only while they were younger. Having only been in three school plays in total, I believe." Alfred moved closer to Bruce as he looked at the screen, eyes softening for a moment as he watched you move along the stage. You had grown up so much since then, and the stage fright you used to have felt like nothing more but a faint memory now.

You wouldn't believe how incredibly proud of you he is.

"It's a shame they didn't do any more afterwards, since it would've been nice to have a few more recordings of their performances, but I suppose that's what happens when you find a new passion." He looked back at Bruce. That previous softness in his gaze nowhere to be found.

There was a certain way how his eyes looked at the billionaire, as if expecting something. As if expecting this.

Alfred had higher hopes, but you had left for a reason. Even if he knew what that reason was, it was only now did he see it more clearly. Especially as he witnessed Bruce's face shift into one of shock and surprise.

"They've always told you, Master Bruce, but you're schedule has just always been too full." Alfred handed Bruce a piece of paper, and Bruce took it wordlessly, looking it over.

It was a flyer promoting a play — the Alice in Wonderland play that was still going in the background — with the dates and times listed below, along with some of the cast members. Your name stuck out like a sour thumb compared to the rest.

Bruce did remember seeing this before, but one thing did still confuse him as he looked back at Alfred.

"I'm pretty sure you gave this to me at the time, not Y/n."

"That I did, sir, but that was only because Master Y/n was having some trouble with catching you attention, because they had wanted to give you the flyer themself. So I offered to give it to you for them." Alfred replied truthfully, cleaning up a little more while he was at it, and leaving Bruce to his thoughts for the moment.

He didn't remember you trying to catch his attention... but if what Alfred says is true then that makes sense, even if it made Bruce feel bad in a way. The feeling growing a little more when he realized something Alfred had said.

"And this happened all three times?"

"You sound surprised, Master Bruce."

Bruce ran a hand through his hair, eyes pinned on the flyer as he pressed his pursed into a thin line. Countless thoughts floated around in his head, all of them jumbled up and messy as he just didn't know what to make of this. Missing one was probably fine, and maybe two at a push, but all three? How could he have missed every single one?

Sure he was busy, but he didn't think it was this bad. Did he just forget? How did he not notice such a thing had slipped right past him?

All Bruce could do was sigh. There was nothing he could do about it now, and even if there was a way to make it up to you, he didn't know where to start, or if that would change anything to begin with. Besides, he didn't even know how long it's been since these performances had happened.

...

Wait a minute-

"Alfred, how long ago was this?"

Alfred just looked at Bruce, brows just barely creased before he took a breath of his own.

"A few years ago, sir."

What?

At the look of disbelief on Bruce's face, Alfred could only stand and straighten himself out as he calmly asked, "How old do you think Master Y/n is, sir?"

"Oh, well, they're..."

... Bruce couldn't even think of an answer.

Obviously you had to be in highschool since it had been years since you've performed in a play, with the Alice in Wonderland play being one of them, but how old were you exactly? What year were you in? Were you a sophomore? Junior? Surely you weren't a freshman, but even then — what high school did you even go to? Bruce didn't think you were home schooled, or else he'd definitely notice that... or would he?

Oh no.

What if you already graduated? What if you already had gone and done something that not even Alfred knew about? Did you have a job? Where would you even work? Were you already in college? What college would you even go to? Did you manage to get a scholarship? What would be you major? Where would you be studying? Would you even stay in Gotham? Were you even old enough to be out on your own? Could you even drink yet? Could you drive? Did you own a car? Or even a motor bike? When was your birthday? Did it already pass? What's the month? The day? The year?

How old are you?

"I... I think I'm going to go and just check up on them." Bruce couldn't answer, and while he had a vauge idea. That's all it was, an idea. So he moved the subject along, and made his way up the stairs, leaving Alfred behind. Just watching as the world's greatest detective left the room, all because he couldn't figure out the age of one of his own kids. One he had chosen to take in and watch over like all the rest, and yet left behind all the same in the process.

Alfred could only sigh to himself as he paused the recording of the play. Ejecting the disc and putting it in its respective case, and placing it in its usual spot.

This was the only way, he decided. This was the only way.

--------------

Bruce didn't feel much better by the time he reached your room. It took him mistakenly stumbling into two guest rooms before he finally reached it, and honestly he felt more regret over that alone.

Most of this time he hardly remembered that the room before him now was even occupied, let alone that you had claimed it as yours. What didn't help was that it was only now that he remembered introducing this space as your own, and yet he had forgotten that small detail so quickly.

Regardless, Bruce just pushed that all to the side as he knocked on the door, taking in a breath.

"Y/n?" He called out, only to get no respose. So he tried knocking again, but he still got nothing.

Sure, he was getting a little confused, but just pushed that to the side with everything else, as he stared down at the door knob.

... Should he?

He had to talk with you eventually, especially considering what he just figured out and how little he actually knew about you. He needed to talk with you. He couldn't just let this slide, not with what he knew now. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

So, be tried the knob, and was kind of surprised that it was unlocked. Though besides that little strange detail, he gently pushed the door open, and took a peak inside.

Oh. You weren't even here...

Bruce didn't know how to feel about that.

Regardless of that, however, he opened up the door a little wider, and stepped inside. What he saw only made him more confused, but also feel so much worse when he looked all over the room. How could this be...?

Various things were on your desk, shelves, and hung on the walls. Your room looked surprisingly clean, but honestly Bruce doesn't know what he was expecting. After all, he didn't even know your exact age or hardly anything about you, and even then — by the looks of things, he had missed out on so much more than he originally thought.

Trophies, awards, medals, and certificates were littered about your room. The very sight of them made the paper in Bruce's hands feel so much heavier, and yet he still held onto it as he further inspected the awards, and few pictures hung on your walls.

Every color was here, from bronze to silver to gold, and at some point it seemed you were able to get a consistent amount of silvers and gold. The awards themselves were from various events and activities that barely corresponded with each other. From fencing to swimming, and dance to pottery. From track and field to literacy, and gymnastics to cooking.

It was like you had tried to do so much of everything, and were trying to collect all of these awards from all of these different activities, rather than earn them because you deserved it for all your hard work and dedication to do that particular activity, but Bruce just couldn't understand why. Why go through all of the effort just to move on to the next thing? It... didn't make sense.

Right next to you black belt for martial arts, you had hung up the few medals you had gotten from track, and right below that were some awards you had for gymnastics. Beside your soccer trophies you had some kind of art award, and beside that was more awards and things you had received from playing and participating in other sports and activities. Bruce had no idea you were even into some of these things, but just from looking at your room, he could tell you weren't all that into or interested in some of the activities you did. Seeing as some activities and such had more awards when compared to others, but one thing in particular seemed to really catch your interest.

Music.

Not only did you have a whole wall and section of your room dedicated to it, but it felt more organized, and the placement of awards and such seemed more thought out in a way.

Countless awards littered the wall, and from the placement alone he knew you were proud of them. The pictures hung on the wall showed you shaking someone's hand as you either held up an award or album cover. You smiled, and Bruce could see how genuine it was as he felt like he could feel your happiness radiate off the photo itself. The people you were shaking hands with looked pretty happy themselves, and Bruce was a little surprised that he recognized them, but that made him feel more conflicted.

The people in those photos with you, were famous, and you had gotten those opportunities to meet them and shake their hand all by yourself.

All of these awards — they were only the finishing products of what you had spent all of your time doing. They were only small glimpses into the person you truly were, and as Bruce looked at the records you had hung on the wall, he could feel his own regret spilling out of his bleeding heart.

He wish he was there with you.

He wish that he had been there to see you even get half of these rewards that you undoubtedly deserved. He wish he got to hear the music you played, and what kind of songs you wrote. He wish he had been there to see you go on, and work your way up, with him being there as your support, and yet...

He had missed everything.

From the plays, to the matches you had, to the games you played in and competitions you participated in, and how could he forget your performances that even earned you such big, important awards. Awards that probably meant so much to you, because of how far it showed you had grown.

Bruce missed it all. Every little thing.

... He had to find you.

No if's or but's this time. No more excuses. He had to find you. Bruce needed to.

So he did a more thorough search of your room. Finally placing the flyer down on your desk as he looked around. He checked your closet, your bed, even under the picture frames, and moved some of the awards around, in order to better check and search for anything. Any hint that could point to where you had gone, and or where you might be. Any clue, any thing that could tell him about you.

He even made sure to take a mental note of the people in the photos, just in case he had to reach out to them and ask if they knew where you were by some off chance. Though that was only if Bruce was convinced that you weren't even in the Manor, and getting some extra information on you never hurt anyway. Seeing as he had a lot of catching up to do.

As he searched, he ran into various things. From equipment, art pieces — most of which were unfinished — and old notes, to other random items. Like an airsoft gun, some glass beakers, various ties, a pair of shades, a glasses frame, and a sewing kit next to a first-aid kit? Bruce didn't want to think about how the first-aid kit both looked used, and was empty.

Bruce even stumbled upon a fancy looking tuxedo he didn't remember buying you at all, but a small tag caught his eye and-

Oh, it was a gift from someone else, and with the note you left behind the tag — most likely with the intention of giving the tuxedo back — it was safe to assume that you and this person knew each other quite well...

Bruce just put the tux back. He would've gotten you a better one anyway if you had just asked, or if he even knew you needed one in the first place. Though regardless of that, he kept looking.

Eventually, he looked under your bed, and found a single box under there. Undisturbed... sitting innocently in the darkness.

Bruce didn't waste much time as he reached out and grabbed it, and placed it on your bed. There was a thin layer of dust on top of it, which Bruce found a little strange but kept in mind as he opened the box and looked inside. There, he saw a variety of notebooks and papers, and from the looks of things, the items in here had been collecting a bit of dust too...

When was the last time you touched these?

It seemed a little strange that these were tucked away from everything else, and clearly you didn't want other people going through it or even seeing them since you kept it so out of view. Were they diaries? Bruce would rather learn anything personal about you from yourself, he didn't want to go through your things like this, but considering the situation...

He sighed, and just picked up a random notebook. If this could help him find you, then so be it. He didn't want to do this but he couldn't leave you alone either. Not again.

Yet, he was so focused on looking through your things that he didn't even realize that someone had passed by, and noticed the odd room Bruce was in. A room that they themselves haven't seen before.

"Woah, what's this place? An old childhood room or something?" Dick asked as he invited himself into the room, mindlessly looking around, not really paying attention to anything in particular as he waltzed around.

"It's Y/n's room." Bruce stated bluntly, still looking over the dusty notebooks in the box. Some simply labeled 'Notes' or 'Practice', while one in particular was called 'Ideas/List & Progress' with little drawn sparkles around it. Another two weren't labeled with titles or words, and instead with small music notes doodled onto the cover in your favorite color. Though Bruce didn't know the color was your favorite.

Nevertheless, Bruce decided to look through one of the notebooks with music notes on it, completely missing how Dick had froze, and turned to look at him as if he was crazy.

"What? You've got to be kidding, right?" Bruce just gestured to one of the records on the wall, flipping through the notebook in his hand as he read through it quickly but carefully.

Dick, still not entirely convinced and honestly just really confused, looked at one of the records Bruce had gestured towards, and felt like he had just gotten ran over by a truck with how hard reality hit him. There your name was, signed and everything, with a well-known producer listened as well.

His eyes even darted to the other records, only to find the same thing, and for just one final check, he looked at one of the awards on the wall.

Your name was engraved on it.

"Holy-" He covered his mouth, more than shocked as he looked around the room again, hand falling from his face, "but that means-" Now Dick was paying more attention to the room, moving from one thing to another as he looked over everything now.

"How did they- there's no way they did all of this? And- what. They even did gymnastics?!" To say that Dick was in absolute disbelief and shock was an understatement. Yet he hardly had any time to recover or process anything as another person popped into the room, albeit only temporarily.

"I'm afraid it is quite possible, Master Dick." Alfred spoke up, catching the attention of the oldest sibling as he moved into the room, and set a stack of papers on your desk, right next to the flyer Bruce had set down.

Confused and curious, Dick looked at the stack once Alfred had pulled away from it, and picked up the first paper.

It was another flyer, but this time for some kind of solo event or concert you'd be doing. The date written down was a few days ago... a week or so having already passed since then, but how could this be?

Dick hesitated, but took another one as he looked it over. Again, it was for some kind of concert or performance, but the date and time was further away. Three weeks to a month having passed since, but how did they not notice? Didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell them?

"This doesn't make any sense... why didn't Y/n tell us about any of these things?" He asked, mostly to himself as he continued to look through the various flyers.

"Why don't you tell me, Master Dick?" Alfred quipped, looking at Dick in a knowing way before stepping out of the room, "Now, I'll be heading off, but I do trust that both of you make the right choice this time around." With that, he simply left. Leaving Dick confused but feeling worse at the same time as he looked back at the flyers, mind racing until he spotted something.

Carfully, Dick pulled out another flyer out of the pile as he placed the others to the side. He recognized this one, but where had he seen it before? Was it...

... Oh god.

Dick whipped out his phone and checked his messages. He had to scroll down a bit, but he quickly found your contact and tapped on it. He flipped through your messages, hundreds upon thousands of which he never responded to, and even if that alone made he feel bad. When he found what he was looking for, he felt even worse.

He found a message of you sending him a photo of the flyer, and said how you hoped you'd see him there. The message itself had been sent almost a year ago, and as he looked back at the flyer, he didn't know how to feel. Yet he kept looking, especially as he spotted another familiar poster.

Some of them he was able to connect back to another message you had sent, and the further back he went the more he responded... but it wasn't much, and he seemed to leave you on read more times than not. He had made an effort, but clearly it wasn't enough.

Dick couldn't imagine how that must've felt for you, and he almost didn't want to. Yet he still continued to search through the flyers, and came across one he had an odd memory of. He did remember seeing a text for it, but also remembered hearing about it somehow? He wasn't too sure, but just incase he did decide to look through his voicemail. He didn't know what he'd find, but he decided to just have a little look, even if he wasn't sure he'd even find anything.

So, he matched the date of the message and scrolled until he found it.

The voicemail innocently stared at him, and Dick couldn't help but hesitate before he tapped on it, and let it play. Heart already heavy as he stared down at the flyer. The kind of look someone gave when they already knew it was too late, and Dick didn't know what was worse. The fact that he basically missed out on your entire life at this point, or that he had nothing to say for it besides that he was sorry, and had just forgotten about these things one too many times.

["Hey, Dick! I, um, I hope everything is going well and that patrol hasn't been too bad." Your voice wavered as you spoke. You were clearly nervous but you tried to push on anyway, and cleared your throat before you tried again.]

["How are you, though? I heard that you had a rough night the other day- and I know I'm not really into all this crime-fighting stuff like everyone else but... I just hope you're okay, y'know?" You chuckled nervously before you cleared your throat again, "An-anyway, um, yeah. I just- hope you're okay." The sound of a paper being fiddled with could be heard, and you took in a small breath.]

["So... I have this performance I'll be doing next Saturday- it's more of a competition really, since other musicians and stuff will be there too. It's at 7 o'clock, and I know you guys mostly work at night and everything- but if you could drop by or even just quickly come around at 8:15 that would be great! Since, um, that's when I'll be performing..."]

Dick looked at awards you hung on the wall as the voicemall continued to play. Based on the date of the performance he was able to find the award. You had gotten second place.

["It's um, it's a piece I wrote that's a tribute to your family- the Flying Graysons, that is, since we're allowed to play songs we wrote if they were approved beforehand, and it was! So, um, I really hope you don't mind. Your family is cool! Not that Bruce and everyone else isn't or anything- um, I'm going to stop talking about that before I say something stupid. But! I couldn't help but feel inspired so I, y'know-" you cleared your throat again. Clearly nervous.]

["Sorry for my rambling- but, yeah. You can pass by if you want or have the time, and it's right by that one place Bruce had that whole charity announcement on Monday. You can't miss it, there will be lights and all this other stuff- not to mention that it'll probably be loud considering things, but uh, yeah."]

["So if you think you can make it or pass by, it's at 7! Next Saturday! And if you can't make it by then, I play at 8:15! So, yeah. Remember that! If- if you want to. Hope to see you there! And if I don't, that's okay. I just hope you enjoy the piece if you hear it. Have a good night! Or-! Or day! Whenever you listen this- um, bye!"]

What? You had wrote a song for him? For his parents? For them?

Dick's heart swelled. He didn't even get to hear it either, he wasn't able to. He didn't have time, and he forgot, but that didn't make things better, did it?

You had gone through all of that effort, and not only made a song for him but even played it during a competition and got second place. Yet he couldn't even put a few minutes to the side to listen to it. He didn't.

Now Dick definitely felt awful.

However, he did notice that there was another voicemail left by you just a few minutes after the last one. So, he decided to play that too before his guilt and regret could fully settle in, as if it'd make him feel better somehow.

["8:45! IT'S 8:45! THAT'S WHEN I PLAY! NOT- Not 8:15, sorry! I mixed up the times- that's when a friend of mine plays, not me! Sorry! Uh, but yeah. I play at 8:45- stop by if you can! I hope to see you then! Buh-bye!"]

Okay, well, Dick officially felt worse now. So much worse.

You had all this character and personality, and yet he was never able to fully see it — to hear it like he has now. Not like this, not while he was paying attention.

Your voice was so much different than what he remembered, and despite your nerves you really tried to tell him because you hoped he'd be there. You tried to tell him in hopes he'd actually show up, and he never did. Even as he listened to your other voice messages, he could hear how his own actions, or lack thereof, were affecting you.

The messages grew shorter, more to the point, and while you did still sound enthusiastic — it's like he could hear the hope dying in your voice. The hope that'd he show up. That any effort would be made, but that didn't happen, and it didn't help that Dick was listening to some of the voicemails he was going through right now, for the first time.

He could only imagine the pain he caused you, and Bruce was thinking the same thing.

Bruce was still looking through your notebooks as Dick was regretting everything he had done to you in the past.

The notebook Bruce was reading now was one where you had written down majority of your more recent song ideas, along with things you wanted to try and melodies you were trying to mix together. It was mostly full of lyrics and small notes to yourself about certain things you wanted to keep in mind, and though there was a lot of things crossed out, Bruce couldn't help but be... charmed in a strange way.

How you talked to yourself was adorable, and seeing your excitement for your own performances and such through each word you wrote, just made Bruce feel so happy for you. He could almost picture your smile and how giddy you felt when you were writing some of these things down, or how focused you were when trying to figure out how to continue the chorus of a song you were making — or if there should even be lyrics to begin with. Along with how you wanted the song itself to sound, and what emotions you wanted to capture in it.

With each page turned it's like he could see the entire process you went through when it came to your song composition. Like he was almost there with you in the moment, watching you do your thing, and honestly? Just by that alone he couldn't help but grow... softer.

Bruce loved seeing how your mind worked when it came to music, and your thought process behind each and every little thing. He just... he felt like through each line and little note he read and looked over, he was falling in love. The kind of love that he couldn't quite describe, besides just the love only a father could feel when they really see their child for who they are for the first time. The kind of love Bruce hadn't felt in a long while, nor this intensely.

You were so creative and passionate, so driven to achieve your dream and do what you loved. You were just so... you, and there was just something about the way you expressed that in the notebook that felt charming. The deeper Bruce got into the notebook, the harder it was to not love you, and each time he saw one of your little notes, he could feel himself smiling. You were so precious, how could he not see that before?

Though, besides all of that, he did notice a small pattern.

Every performance you had, you mentioned in the notebook and would express your feelings about it, and every time you did — you'd write something beneath it. Just a small paragraph about certain hopes you had. Hopes that made Bruce's heart squeeze tighter.

It was you hoping that they'd get to see you perform, that they'd show up, and suddenly Bruce was reminded of why he was doing this in the first place. So, he started to flip through your book, shaking out of whatever trance he was in.

With each performance that passed, the little paragraph got shorter, smaller, simpler. Like a quiet prayer that was dying down, as the believer slowly lost their hope and faith. It even came to a point where only one sentence was written for a while.

"I hope I see one of them."

Bruce's heart broke a little more each and every time he saw it, but the page that really got to him was when the sentence was smudged, small wrinkles and creases were on the page, and you couldn’t even finish writing the sentence as the end of the 'e' in 'them' dragged out.

What didn't help was when he flipped a few more pages, and found the last performance you had written about. It was a few months ago, but the date didn't immediately catch Bruce's eye. No, no, no, what caught his attention at first was the change of that single sentence.

"I hope the audience enjoys it."

His heart shattered at that, smile fading as he took in a breath. A moment passed, with Bruce just stating at the writing. Wishing for the impossible, and to change things that had already been done. It was too late, but he somehow refused to believe that now.

Finally, he noticed the date and paused.

That... couldn't be right. You used to write in this notebook all the time from what he could tell, why did you stop? Did something happen that day?

If months really have passed... then that would explain all the dust on the box and contents within it, but still, it didn't make sense. Weren't you still here in the Manor? Bruce honestly couldn't think of why'd you would stop writing unless you somehow couldn't reach the notebook, but you couldn’t have left, right? Surely, above everything else, he would've notice that, right?

...

Bruce finally looked at Dick, seeing the oldest just staring at old flyers from various events and such you had participated in throughout your life. A life they never got to see.

"When was Y/n's last performance?" He asked bluntly, getting straight to the point.

Dick glanced at Bruce for a moment before looking back down at your desk. He moved some of the papers around before he found the most recent one and looked over to his father with a raised brow.

"About a week ago, why?"

Bruce looked back down at the notebook in his hand, eyes scanning over the date again before he closed it. Looking back at Dick, he asked another question.

"Have you seen Y/n around?"

Dick grew quiet at that, and after a moment he just sighed and shook his head.

"No, I can't say I have." It was only then did he catch what Bruce may have been thinking, "You don't think they-"

"It's a possibility. We can't be too sure just yet," Bruce just wanted to hold onto his hope that you were still here, and even if the chance was small he was willing to take it. He didn't want to believe that they had pushed you so far away that you would not only consider leaving, but actually went ahead and did it. He wanted to be doubtful, but he couldn't rule out anything. Not yet.

"Just keep looking, I'll go ask the others." Bruce stated as he placed the notebook back in the box and headed out the room.

"Keep looking? For what?! Other events we missed? More ways we ignored them? Things they did without us?!"

To say Dick's guilt was eating away at him would be an understatement. It was practically devouring him at this point, and he could just barely take it.

Bruce paused at the doorframe, sighing as he looked back at Dick, "Any hints or clues to where they could be. Favorite spots they might frequent, places where their lessons were held, people they know, anything." He left him with that, causing Dick to just run a stressed hand through his hair as he took a breath.

Worry and regret heavily weighed down on him, but all he could do was carry it for now. He'd make it up to you somehow. He would, and he'd finally get to hear that song one way or another.

As Dick started his search, so did Bruce.

Bruce did a general search around the house, looking for anyone he came across while also trying to look for you. He thought that if he was lucky, he'd run into you. Even if the possibility was small, it could still happen — or he hoped so anyway.

Just this once, Bruce really hoped for the best.

Though, he did end up running into someone, even if it wasn't who he was looking for.

"Woah, someone looks serious. What's got your bat panties in a twist?" Jason asked, amused, "Actually, wait, don't tell me. I don't c-"

"Have you seen Y/n?" Bruce cut Jason off, getting straight to the point.

The sudden question confused Jason as he gave Bruce a weird look, some of his amusment still remaining but it began to die down a bit.

"No... why?"

Bruce took a breath, fingers twitching, "Do you know where they could be?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Jason's own confusion began to take over, his amusement continuing to die down, "Seriously, did something happen? Why are you suddenly looking for them?"

Bruce took a moment, just looking at Jason before he sighed.

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"... A few days ago..." Jason glanced off to the side.

"Jason."

"Okay, okay! Fine. I don't fucking know! A few weeks ago? Maybe?!" He answered, getting agitated already. "I'm barely here enough as it is, how am I supposed to know where they are!"

Again, Bruce took in another breath, but there was something about it that Jason didn't like. Maybe he inhaled too sharply or deeply — Jason wasn't sure, but all he knew was that he wasn't going to like what Bruce was about to say.

"Dick hasn't seen them either."

"And that's supposed to be a surprise, how? He lives all the way in Bludhaven, of course he isn't going to see Y/n. 'Cause they live here-"

"I haven't seen them."

"..." That was a little more surprising, but just a little more. It still couldn’t mean anything... right?

"With all the shit you do, I would be surprised if you even saw them on a semi-regular basis." Jason crossed his arms, still not convinced — not entirely anyway. Yet Bruce could only exhale softly, the action bothering Jason even more.

"It's just a possibility. I'm trying to find them. Think you can help out?" Bruce clarified before asking. Additional help would definitely be great, especially because it meant that they could find you faster. He could find you faster.

"What makes you think I'm gonna do that?"

"Did know that Y/n wrote a song that's a tributed to you?"

"... What."

Bruce sighed, "You don't have to do it because I asked you to, or even because I want to find them. You can do it for yourself, Jason. But I'll leave that decision to you." Then, he just walked off to continue his search for you, and the other occupants of the Manor. Leaving Jason by himself, alone...

"That bitch-" Jason cursed under his breath as he walked off, deciding that he'll help look. Though only so he could ask you if Bruce was bullshiting him or not, and not for any other reason...

... Wait, you wrote songs? Like, actually?

Jason just shook his head, already upset enough as he shoved the thought to the side. When he found you he could ask, and how hard could that be? The Manor was only so big, and besides, you were just one person. He could probably find you before Bruce if he just looked in the right places, but the only thing now was finding those places...

Okay, so maybe he saw the problem, but still. This couldn't be too hard. You were the only one in the whole family who wasn't a vigilante, and so it was only about a matter of time.

Nevertheless, Jason began looking around as well, trying to figure out where he should look as he mindlessly checked every other room he came across. Where would you even go anyway? He'd probably check your room first but he figured that Bruce had already checked there, and it wasn't like Jason knew where your room even was. Though he just chalked that up to how infrequent his incredibly short visits were.

Still, he didn't even know where to start, and would rather avoid searching the entire Manor if he could. He tried to scratch his brain for anything but he just... had no idea.

Well, okay, he had one idea, but that was only because of one night. Even then he's still not sure it was you who he saw on the-

["Master Y/n? Are you alright?"]

Jason's thought process was cut off by a sudden voice. He immediately recognized it as Alfred's, and a realization hit him. Right! He should look for Alfred first, he'd know where you are. Alfred practically knew everything about everyone in the Manor, so he'd lnow something for sure.

So, he followed the sound until he stood in the doorway of one of the lounges. The television was on and playing some kind of recording, but Jason paid no mind to it.

Confused, Jason called out, "Alfred?"

When he didn't receive a response, he huffed as his eyes drifted to the television. What was playing, anyway?

You — a smaller, younger version of you — stood in a door way, looking out in the hall before turning back to the camera. Big, innocent eyes looking up. Looking at Jason.

You couldn't have been no older than eight or nine.

[You gave a little nod with a small hum, "I'm okay, Alfred. Just... waiting, like you said."]

A small, soft huff could be heard from the other end of the camera, and the camera moved to be placed down a counter of some kind. Which revealed Alfred to be the one having been recording everything so far.

["Yes, well. How about we do a little something while we wait, hm?" Alfred asked, moving a stool closer to the counter — moving the camera again to be placed on the kitchen isle this time.]

Ingredients and tools used for baking could be seem on the counter. The stool Alfred had place was next to where he was standing, and a good distance away from the stove.

[You looked at Alfred curiously, "What are we going to do?"]

["Oh, nothing too much, Master Y/n. But... I do require a bit of assistance baking this cake, that is if you'd like to help, of course." Alfred patted the top of the stool as he spoke, "Though you can always just watch, if you'd like."]

[You perked up at what Alfred said, climbing up onto the stool enthusiastically with a smile. "I wanna help!" You exclaimed, looking over the ingredients before looking back at Alfred, "But... what cake are we making?"]

[Alfred hummed, pretending to think before be looked back down at you, "Well, what kind of cake would you like, Master Y/n? It is your birthday after all."]

["Really?" When Alfred nodded, you gasped excitedly before suggesting your favorite flavor at the time.]

["Well then, let's get started, shall we?"]

From there, the rest of the recording was of you and Alfred baking. With Alfred helping you when he had to, and laughing lightly when you would inevitably make a mess.

Laughs and jokes were exchanged, and it was probably the happiest Jason has ever seen you... which made him feel weird in a way. He didn't like it, not one bit, and yet he continued to watch the old, wholesome memory play out before him.

Jason watched as you got a bit of flour on your nose and how Alfred wiped it off. He watched as while Alfred was deciding on the shape of the cake, you gathered all the different colors and types of sprinkles you could find, and was looking at a particular color of food coloring. How you nearly fell trying to grab the food coloring, and how Alfred just narrowly managed to catch you. How after that, Alfred visibly recovered from the near heart attack he had gotten from watching you fall, and just watched you add the food coloring to the frosting after you had thanked him for catching you, and apologized for falling.

... It got Jason thinking, if only a little bit.

He didn't know much about you, not really anyway. Even if his visits were few and far inbetween, not to mention incredibly short, someone would think that he'd catch onto a few things about you, or just generally have more interactions with you, but he didn't. All he really knew was that you knew how to play the violin really well, but that was assuming that who he saw that night really was you. Even if he doesn't know who else it'd be.

Jason still remembered that one occurrence despite how long it's been since then... but that was for a different time. He had to focus now, but he still couldn't help but watch the little version of you trying to frost the cake without being too messy, but failing miserably.

It did get him thinking about how many small moments he had missed with you, and just... how little time he had actually spent around you.

Obviously, you weren't a little kid anymore. After all, the last time he remembered seeing you — you were already a teenager. Though was that really a good thing? Jason did remember having some kind of interaction with you in the past... but it wasn't much of anything, and even then he probably forgot half of those moments. What definitely didn't help is that you both didn't have each other's phone numbers, and the only form of communication you had was seeing each other in person.

.... Okay, maybe this whole 'finding you' thing was definitely a lot harder than Jason had originally thought.

["... Are they going to come, Alfred?" You asked, sitting in front of the cake you and Alfred had just made together, looking up at the camera that Alfred was holding once again.]

[Alfred didn't respond right away, but did eventually say, "I'm afraid not, Master Y/n, but if you'd like we could wait a little longer."]

[You shook your head, looking at the cake before looking back at the camera, "It's okay. We can blow out the candles now, but..." you hesitated, looking down at the table, "could you... stay with me? Please?" You looked away, embrassed for asking but didn't take back what you said.]

[Again, a soft huff came from the other end of the camera. "Of course, Master Y/n."]

After a short happy birthday song, the camera was placed down on the table as Alfred cut the cake. It was only after Alfred had given both you and himself a slice did the footage cut out.

Nothing could describe the face you made when Alfred said that no one was coming. Just like how Jason couldn't even begin to describe what it made him feel.

Even when a new recording started, he could hardly pay attention to it as all he saw was your face staring up at the camera. Expression not necessarily sad or upset, but it was easily the most heartbreaking thing Jason had ever seen. A kid shouldn't have a face like that. You shouldn't have a face like that.

Jason was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Cassandra trying to get his attention, nor did he feel her even pull on his sleeve. All he could think of was you, sitting at that table all by yourself. Alone.

He just turned the other way, practically stomping down the hall as he looked straight ahead, glaring.

He had to find you. Now.

Cass, on the other hand, was just confused. Watching as Jason stormed off before looking back at the recording that was playing on the television. What about it had made Jason sp upset? She didn't know, but she was a bit curious.

Bruce had already confronted her and asked her where you were, and of course she didn't know either. He did mention something about how Damian was trying to help a little, which was a surprise in itself, and how Jason might be trying to search for you too, and had asked her if she could do the same. She agreed, of course, just wanting to help out, but having run into Jason just now? That was... odd. Especially when he suddenly stormed off like that, but that wasn't her main focus right now. She still had to-

["Are you still trying to record this, Alfred?"]

Wait... was that your voice?

Cassandra turned back to the television, only to see the camera pointed towards the floor.

["Of course, Master Y/n. Just give me one moment, I almost have the camera set up."]

Oh, Alfred was there too? What was going on?

[Light laughter was heard before you spoke again, "Here, let me help you."]

The camera began to move, and as it paned up, there you were. A soft smile on your face, shining colored hues looking at the camera as you made a few more adjustments before stepping away.

Now, you definitely looked like a teenager or young adult. Voice more matured and settled, almost calm in a way.

["There. That should be good, what do you think?" You asked Alfred, tilting your head to the side a bit, most likely looking at the butler.]

["I have to agree, Master Y/n. Everything should be working properly." Alfred then came into frame, moving towards the counter as you moved around the kitchen isle to follow him. "Now, what is it that you wanted to make this year?"]

["Oh! Right, well..." and you told him, already grabbing a few necessarily ingredients from around the kitchen.]

It wasn't long before the two of you started baking again, but this time around you were clearly more experienced than your younger self — not that Cass was aware of that anyway. You both did your own parts, working exceedingly well together as the conversation between the two of you was nothing but natural.

Cass never saw you talk so naturally, or even knew you could bake, but there were a lot of things she didn't know about you.

She could see that in the footage, you were really relaxed and happy. Almost at ease as you skillfully moved about, as if knowing the necessary steps to make what you were hoping to bake by heart, and how you navigated the kitchen made it look as if you almost knew it as well as Alfred did. It was almost refreshing to see you just be so... in tune with your surroundings, and Cass almost wished she had been there to see you bake for herself. Though she could settle watching footage of you bake for now.

Even if she didn't know why you were even baking in the first place until Alfred mentioned something about a gift for your Birthday, and how that led you to talking about some of the things your friends had given you.

This was... your birthday? Just you and Alfred?

That didn't feel right... but then again, she didn't even know when your birthday was to begin with — and now that she thinks about, had you ever celebrated Christmas with everyone? As a whole family?

... She wasn't sure.

["Are you certain that you don't want to wait, Master Y/n? You never know, someone could show up this time." Alfred asked, looking at you with slight concern.]

[You only smiled, "I'm sure. Besides, even if any of them did come, we both know that it'd be on accident." You laughed lightly to yourself, looking down at the pastry both you and Alfred had made together. "I doubt they even know when my birthday is, but that's okay." You looked back at Alfred, your smile still happy but... there was something off with it.]

["I've told you before, haven't I? You're all the company I need in this house. I'm happy just spending my birthdays like this with you." You took a piece of the pastry and ripped it off before holding it in the air, as if doing a toast, and held it toward Alfred. "So, happy birthday to me?"]

[Alfred sighed softly, but could only smile as he took his own piece of the pastry, copying your actions as he held the piece toward you, "Happy birthday, Master Y/n."]

The footage cut right after, and suddenly Cass found herself in a similar position that Jason had been in just a few moments ago. Just staring at the screen, unsure what to do with this new information, the weight on her chest growing.

Had you really spent every birthday like that? If so... then why didn't you tell anyone? Or had you tried, only for nothing to come of it?

The thought alone hurt, strangely enough, and all Cass wanted to do was... well. She wasn't sure.

She wanted to do so many things, and yet she didn't know if anything would work. Or if anything she could do would fix... well, anything at all.

She wanted to try your baking and... and celebrate a birthday with you. Or maybe she just felt obligated to do so after having seen the recording, but a big part of her did mean it. Especially because she didn't want you to feel alone or anything ever again, not after seeing the extent it went to. Though perhaps there was some irony in that thought that Cass failed to realize.

Regardless, Cass found herself walking off too. Completely missing the figure who turned off the television, and unplugged the camera from it that held all of the footage both her and Jason were shown.

Cass was practically speed walking as she checked the library — remembering have seen glimpses of you in there before — while Jason checked the music room, only for both to turn up equally empty. Yet they kept looking. Everyone did.

Dick tried calling and texting you while trying to see if there was anywhere you could be outside of the Manor. Tim ended up helping as he ran into Dick, and was basically locating and tracking down all the places you've been to with the help of your notebooks and awards in your room. All the while listening to some very earlier pieces you've wrote and played on the mp3 player he found in your box.

Bruce was still looking all over the Manor for you, each minute that passed making him more paranoid and worried. What started as a small possibility was growing into a certainty and he did not enjoy that at all. Damian had decided to search for Alfred, since it seemed like the smartest choice if they wanted to end this quickly. Yet when he did find Alfred and asked him where you were, it turned out that Alfred didn't know where you were either.

While yes, he did know some of the teachers and coaches you've had in the past, he didn't know where you were at this exact moment. How could that be? It was simple, really.

Alfred hadn't seen you in a while either, and once that little piece of information spread around the family... what followed after could only be described as chaos.

The Manor was practically flipped upside down as Bruce, Damian, Jason, and Cass searched for you. Not a single room went unchecked, and when they still came out empty handed, their own worries began to fuel each others.

Dick was the first one to suit up and head out, already calling Barbara as night fell on Gotham, with Tim beginning to suit up — yet Jason had beat him to the punch and was out the second the Manor was cleared. Cass was next to follow, with Bruce and Damian not following too far behind. Tim only left after informing Stephanie — and after downloading some of your songs — and telling Alfred to keep a look out just in case you came back home.

In just a few hours, what started as an unusually uneventful and calm, quiet day for the family, quickly turned into one of the most panicked induced searches and painful night of their lives.

All because of you.

---------

You were tuning your guitar calmly, tapping your foot to the melody playing in your head as you hummed. The silence surrounding you was peaceful for a chance, and didn't feel suffocating or as unnerving as the silence in the Manor did.

Honestly, it took a bit of getting used to but after a few weeks you had grown to love it. Waking up everyday and having someone there to not only greet you, but actually acknowledge you also took a bit of getting used to, but you managed much more easily with that.

Sure, there were other things as well, but you eased into it and had come to accept these small things as just parts of your new life. Yet, you still found yourself appreciating and noticing the smallest things, and almost crying over them too.

It had been a few months since you had left the Manor, and honestly you couldn't be happier.

You now shared an apartment with one of your closets friends, and your career helped you cover your half of the rent, as well as other expenses. You had truly found comfort with this new lifestyle, and even if you'd like to move out of Gotham one day — you could settle for this for now.

This, you believed, was what peace truly felt like.

Even when your phone started to go off like crazy — you just took one look at who it was and rolled your eyes, putting your phone on silent as you placed it face down on the table in front of you. You didn't know what Dick and Tim needed so badly, but you were sure they'd be able to figure it out themselves. After all, they were the sons of the world's greatest detective, right? They could handle themselves.

So you just leaned back into your couch, sighing softly as you mindlessly strummed away at your guitar, smiling a little to yourself when the tune was just right. Creating a melody came all too naturally to you, and all you did was carry it on — humming softly as countless ideas filled your head. A small song beginning to form, even if unintentionally.

A song that went on — with the suffering of Gotham going on in the background. The city being cleared out and searched by the vigilantes that dared to protect it, all of it being done just to look for one person. You.

The shouts and screams served as the base, with the shattering of glass and bones being the lower kick, perhaps. The heart beat serving as the tempo, and so on.

So, just as you had years ago, you played on. Calm and happy in your own little world, unaware of the horrors to come — and destruction being made in your name.

–––––

Well, that's long, isn't it?

Might be making a another post that kind of details what some of the others did before everything went to hell? We'll see. Maybe.

Sorry again for any mistakes, especially towards the halfway point/end there.

[charmercharm3r]

Make Love, Not Porn

Play Time!

HHJ

Masterlist, Series Masterlist

18+ content — minors, do not interact.

wc: 3.8k

Synopsis: You crave a life of normalcy, he craves you. And he'd do anything to keep you, even if you're for the world to see.

warnings: barista!hyunjin x cam girl!reader, smut, explicit sexual content, masturbation (m, f), he's a little obsessed, easing into the smuttier smut if that's even a thing.

Live : Play Time!

Next Scheduled Broadcast : Heat Signature

☆ﾟ

Rule number one; everybody is temporary.

There is no love in this industry, no trust, no friends, only coworkers that all want the same thing. Sometimes you work with them more than once, other times– most times, it’s a one-and-done deal.

They never want to stay anyways, you learned that lesson the hard way. It’s why you set up such a tough wall to break through, there’s no point in befriending anyone on your side of the pond.

It’s scary, really, how quickly you can be moaning someone’s name, kissing them like you need them to breathe, touching and feeling them as intimately as someone who truly was in love. Then as soon as the livestream ends, you can’t remember what their lips feel like and everything smells like latex and sweat. You offer them some water, snacks, a shower. They usually decline. Minutes later, your front door is shutting and you’re alone once again.

No one ever intends on getting into porn, you don’t even remember the details on how you ended up here. Your follower count had risen overnight and before you knew it, that one video had gotten you more money in a week than a month’s worth of minimum wage ever did. The humiliation was nonexistent considering you hadn’t even posted yourself naked that first time, if anything you were excited to post again. Who knew a video of you just sitting in a chair, playing with yourself under your skirt with your knees pressed closed would take off so rapidly. That thirty second video changed your life.

– fuck, who is this?? are they new??

– thats so hot. face reveal?

– show us your tits

– god i wanna fuck u so bad

– suck my dick pls

Those comments didn’t bother you, it was a little flattering if you were being honest with yourself. People wanted you, they don’t even know your real name, have never seen your face or what you look like in the sunlight. They don’t know you and yet, you’re everything to them, so much so that they pay you for your time, and body. They fill your wallet just for you to read their comment out loud, attention whores for you. And you love it. For some reason, their praise is much more fulfilling than anyone you've guested on your livestreams.

Recently, though, you’ve stopped bringing people on, not much to your viewer’s disapproval. There was more interaction and less vulgarity, like they wanted you to actually speak to them rather than just stuff your pussy with whatever new dildo you’d been gifted in your PO box.

You hadn’t planned on having such a personal stream today, you honestly just wanted the relief and thought your viewers would have a good time. But for some reason, the comments were less about getting you to take your clothes off and more about why your voice was shaking.

“It’s okay, I’m okay. Really!” Even you could hear the subtle octave change. “If you wanted me to cry, you could’ve just said please. You know I’ll do anything for you.” 

Perhaps the forced sultriness of your voice worked its charm, the comments quickly switched back to their normal obscenities once you started to unbutton your top. Truthfully, you preferred when they asked you to get naked, it was a lot easier to do than to admit what it was you were really lacking. Honest companionship is the rarest thing.

Rule number two: no identifying features.

Even if you weren’t ashamed, your job is still taboo. No one and everyone knew what it was you did. Your best friend helped you pick lingerie and background mood lighting, your parents thought you were an office worker. Strangers have seen your most private parts, you only allow your grandma to give you a kiss on the cheek during Christmas. Safe to say your occupation was strictly need-to-know.

You’re glad you started live streaming before deciding to get any tattoos, running the risk of someone stopping you in the middle of the street was the most terrifying thing you could imagine happening. Naturally, you avoided getting anything at all once your streams started to really take off.

There was nothing you wore to accessorize unless a patron paid for it in advance, that was always done a week before streams and the contact with the patron was never more than a simple google form and an email from your business account to confirm. Other than that, you were a blank canvas, just a body with a voice that left more to the imagination than you would think. If your viewers were happy, you were happy.

“What do you think of my new nail color? A special someone picked it out for me,” you held out your hands to display the pretty shine, twiddling your fingers. The comments went crazy, “no, no, not anyone like that, c’mon! You know you’re my number one. But I think you should all give lovely user callingherdaddy a thank you for picking it out. Thank you, sir.”

You took the polish off the next morning.

Rule number three: be consistent.

Nothing kills a steady income more than ghosting the ones that put the money in your pocket. You stuck to a strict schedule of three streams every week and frequent posts on your socials. The stuff you posted on your social media wasn’t even related to your work on camming, but it doesn’t hurt when they leave a couple nice comments. 

With a schedule and job like yours, you need a little bit of normalcy. Self employed, you don’t have a real routine when you aren’t streaming. It was starting to make you feel lazy, a bit lethargic, and overall unmotivated.

It wasn’t until recently did you decide to start doing normal people things, like waking up at 7 a.m., doing a mini work out, grocery shopping in the morning, even getting yourself a coffee from the shop near your house as a treat. Doing this was nice, you felt good, your head was clearer. Hell, you even got excited when it came time to do your cams because you felt so full of energy.

You had only been to the coffee shop once or twice before, but to get yourself to keep the routine, you told yourself you’d go every day for the next two weeks. Afterall, it only takes 21 days to form a habit.

It was packed, as usual for a morning weekday. There were only about six baristas working, all scurrying about the bar to get through the morning rush. You liked watching them, mindlessly completing drinks in such a way that made you a little jealous. Most of them seemed your age, obviously you knew that they couldn’t have all had perfect lives, but at least this part of their day was something they could openly complain about.

Were you really jealous? Of normal people? You had to be insane.

Shaking your head, you walked further into the shop and waited in line. You thought nothing of it, placing your order, “iced chai with three blonde shots, please,” and handed the barista the card, “thank you.”

You barely looked up at him, only when he held onto your card a little longer as you tried to take it back did you make eye contact. A little awkward, the barista was staring at you with wide eyes. He was handsome, too handsome to be working behind the counter. Long black hair framed his face nicely, pretty plump lips, and an endearing little mole under his eye that made his siren stare only slightly less intimidating. Yeah, handsome.

He didn’t look away even after he let you take your card back.

“S– sorry. You look like–”

“It’s okay. Thanks again.” You hurried away as fast as you could. He couldn’t have known who you were, right? Not a chance, you have never shown your face. You were wearing too many clothes for any particular body part to be recognizable. It’s just a coincidence.

Either way, the minor interaction with the barista scared you into hiding again, forgetting going out for anything else you had planned and deciding to hole away at home.

You had a livestream to do later anyways, focus on that. There were a few hours left for you to kill before turning on the camera, now would be as good a time as any to set up.

It wasn’t much that you did, mostly just thinking of what it was you thought viewers would like to see for the day. An hour before the scheduled stream, you set up a waiting room on the website that hinted at what the day’s theme would be. Today you thought you’d go a little easy on the eyes; “live soon, hardcandysweetheart: play time! <3”

A typical stream would start off soft, greeting viewers like any other meeting. You’d ask how their day was, if there was anything in particular they wanted to do or talk about, some answered genuinely while others urged you to strip. You liked the ones that asked you how your day was, too, and enjoyed sharing your thoughts with them. Though, it was no secret what everyone was here for, even if sometimes– just sometimes, you liked what came before taking off your clothes more than anything.

“I have a few things in mind for play time today, I’d like to hear what you guys think. Would you prefer this,” in your hand, you held up your favorite vibrator, big and baby pink. “Or this?” in the other, a new grinder that resembled the shape of a tentacle with the sucker-side up.

Comment section didn’t slow down as soon as you showed the second toy. “I thought you might like this one. I got it just for you! I’m excited to try it out with you.”

– im so fucking hard

– i wanna see ur pussy

– thats so nice, ur sweet

“Slow down! Haha, we’re gonna take our time,�� you laughed away the weird feeling in your chest as you read the fleeing comments. “You’re so impatient today, lovely. Did you have a hard day? I know I did,” you slowly peeled down the blouse you wore, letting it hang off your shoulders to expose your bare shoulders. It seemed redundant to wear a bra, but you kept the shirt covering your breasts for dramatic effect, hard nipples peaking through.

“I just wanna take it a little more… gentler, if that’s alright.” The camera was angled to cut off at your neck to avoid showing your face, but you bit your lip anyways as you held up the grinder. “It’s a little out of my comfort zone, honestly. I’ve never told you about this fantasy before.” You ran your finger down the rubber center, feeling the many little suction cups bend.

You giggled as you came to the swirled tip of the tentacle, playing with the way it curled and how pliable it was. “When I ordered this, they let me choose the color. I think pink suits me, don’t you? But I also thought, maybe blue? Or black… but then it would be too hard for you to see, right?”

As you spoke, you laid the grinder between your legs but not quite touching it. With two fingers, you stroked it the same way you would your own pussy. Your other free hand was doing just that right behind the toy and beneath the length of your shirt, feeling your wetness building up with your hand down your panties. “Oh my, just talking to you– my underwear is soaked!” The giggle that left your lips was genuine, you didn’t expect to work yourself up so quickly.

You stole your fingers from your cunt and showed it to the camera, spreading them to let your viewers see the slick coating shine in the soft lighting. “Heh, told ya I was excited. You make me like this.”

When you started to really get going it was hard to pay attention to the comments, you tended to get a little lost until you finally came. Like now, you brought the toy closer to your core, lightly lifting yourself to sit on it. As soon as you did, you let out a whimper.

Hyunjin had never felt so embarrassed in his life. He doesn’t even know why, he couldn’t have been sure of anything.

Except he was. He was 100% sure, plus another 10% for good measure. He hadn’t even known about the site for long, you were just his favorite. He’d found hardcandysweetheart and never bothered to look anywhere else.

You were just another customer at first, a pretty one that caught his attention. He noticed you in line and had every intention of flirting and possibly asking for you to sign up for the rewards program with them just so he could use that as an excuse to get your number. Then you spoke.

All you fucking did was speak. “Please,” and “thank you,” and Hyunjin fucking crumbled.

Jesus, he must have looked like an idiot. He knows he did, but he was star struck. Fanboying, red in the face with embarrassment, about to fold at the knees, and hard as a fucking rock all at the same time. He had to excuse himself to the restroom as soon as you left just to get his boner to go away.

If it really was you– and he hoped to god it wasn’t– he’ll never forget such a pretty face.

Which is why he turned on notifications for your stream. He knew your schedule by heart but he needed to be sure that it was your voice he heard. As soon as he got home from his shift, clothes came off and he was sat in bed with his laptop nearby, just waiting for the ping notification from you.

God, it was you. As soon as he heard you through his headphones, it confirmed what he already knew.

What a kind voice, supple, soft, he could listen to you for hours– he has listened to you for hours. Sometimes he wished you could do live streams of just you talking, you never even had to take your clothes off. Now that he knew what you looked like, Hyunjin’s heartbeat faster than it ever did when you made conversation.

It was the way you did, as though you were speaking to him and only him. The image he created of you in his head looked like it was thought up by a child in comparison to seeing you in real life. He could put a face to the voice now, he wasn’t even thinking about your body. Just your voice.

“You make me like this,” you said in almost a whisper, tone cracking just a little the more you sat on the toy.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but palm at himself, not entirely stroking but moving at the same pace. This was a team effort, in his mind. You made him crazy, as he did to you. That was his fantasy. You always spoke with so much love in your voice, as though you truly cared for him and it got him harder than any other kind of porn ever could.

Was that really all it took? Was he that pathetic? Someone who didn’t even know who he was, talking to an ocean of people that all saw the same thing he did, and suddenly it’s the only thing that can make him cum.

He can’t even complain now, he’s seen you. That’s enough spank bank to last him a lifetime if you ever suddenly decided to stop camming. Shit– he hopes he didn’t just manifest that into existence.

The white button up top draped in front of your cunt to hide away from view. That’s alright, you said you were taking it slow today. Your hips slowly pushed forward and back, hands gripping tightly at the armrests of your uncomfortable looking desk chair. Hyunjin thought it was kind of cute how you would still cam in the same seat as you did when he found your first video. 

His laptop on his abdomen concealed the view of his cock leaking, but the way you were sat on screen, he could envision it was him you were sitting on instead. That’s exactly what he imagined as you rocked faster into the toy, lifting your shirt and balling it in your fist to show that your wetness had spread to the front of your panties. Hyunjin didn’t even mind that the bold pink tentacle blocking a bit of the view, you were getting so into it that he hardly noticed anymore.

Hyunjin fumbled to find his dick, slowly beginning to squeeze the head as you turned to shorter and quicker ruts towards the front of the toy where the tentacle curled up. You moaned loudly, making him do so as well in return. “Fuck, I ruined this pair, didn’t I?”

Your cute laugh had Hyunjin breaking out into a smirk, “that’s okay,” he whispered to no one but himself.

“I should take it off but,” you rolled your hips again with a whine, “I kinda want you to work for it.”

The tips in the corner of the page were pinging like crazy as soon as you said that. He himself tapped the button rapidly and paid no mind to how his account balance shot down.

“C’mon now, don’t be shy. It’s just one little word that I wanna hear. I’ll say it first, if that makes you feel better.” The speed of your hips picked up a little, in turn Hyunjin let his fist slowly work up and down, no faster than you, of course.

“Please. Please, is the word I’m looking for, lovely. Say it, just once.”

Fuck, he couldn’t help speeding up just a little. He loved the way you said it, even more the way you commanded him to say it as well. “Please,” the whimper came out breathy and uneven as the precum lubricated his cock more.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Hyunjin shook his head, no. 

“No, it wasn’t. Look what happens when you ask nicely,” you stood from your seat just to pull off the flimsy fabric, sitting fully back down on the toy and holding up the soaked pair with another chuckle. “You get nice things.”

Hyunjin could hear how wet you really were now, every lewd sound that came from you rubbing yourself back and forth on the grinder. You still didn’t let him– them– see you fully. He wasn’t even sure if you’d expose yourself at all this stream. Still, his fist picked up speed as you did, taking in every grunt you let out when you’d hit a particularly good spot. Hyunjin kept his eyes on you the whole time, memorizing the way you moved, what angle made you tick.

“C’mon lovely, I know you can do better than that.”

You were referring to the tip counter, but Hyunjin took it as he can do better than that. His other hand reached around the laptop, down to cup his balls as he worked his cock faster, occasionally running his fingers over the head for a break in stimulation. Somehow he managed to stop touching himself for a split second to rapid fire extra tips when they slowed down.

“Oh, someone wants a little extra attention today. What do I call you, lovely?” Hyunjin wasn’t sure if you were speaking to him, though he hoped and typed a nickname anyways. “Baby? That’s cute. Thank you, baby, you’re so sweet.”

His hand instantly returned to his dick, not caring about the speed anymore, instead wanting to cum to the sound of your voice. He quickly tapped the tip button a few more times and you giggled, “baby, you’re spoiling me. Here, since you’re being so nice,” you lifted the hem of your shirt to put your bare cunt on display, seemingly tucking the end of it into your mouth.

Hyunjin could see it so clearly, your pretty lips drooling onto the fabric, biting it to contain the moans that wanted to slip past. Fuck, he was going insane, wet, slick noises from his animalistic fisting on his cock almost surpassing the volume of your voice in his headphones. 

He just watched now, listened intently to how good you were making yourself feel and it made his body light a fire. You were clearly getting closer as well, forgetting the dirty talk and humping away at the toy with little to no regard for who was watching. Hyunjin loved this side of you the most, when you couldn’t think of anything other than the impending pleasure. He could imagine your eyes rolling back, the furrow in your brow and beads of sweat dripping down your temples as you came nearer to falling over the edge. Your hands moved to grip the edge of the seat, aiding in pushing your body forward and back harder against the grinder and Hyunjin was jerking himself with a hotter fervor. Your muffled cries echoed in his head– he was making you feel like this, he was the one you were using to please yourself, he was the one you thought of as you came all over his cock.

Hyunjin suddenly held his breath and let his release take over his body, squeezing and pumping the tip of his cock as he spurt his seed all over his stomach and back of his computer. By the time he’d come to, opened his eyes, and regained his breath, you were slumped back in your chair and panting heavily. He missed your grand finale, but that was okay with him, you came at the same time. Even in post nut clarity, he wanted to hear your voice. More than that, he wanted to hold you, run his fingers through your hair, kiss you until you were breathless all over again.

Hyunjin’s shaky hand found the tip button again and tapped.

“Thank you, baby.” He smiled.

You groaned and found the strength to steal the toy from your aching cunt, holding it up for the camera to see it glistening with your essence. Laughing, “this was fun, wasn’t it? I enjoyed myself, I might have to buy more of these.” You tossed it onto the desk and suddenly seemed shy, tugging your shirt as far down as you could without exposing more skin. “Until next time, lovely. I’ll miss you.” You waved your dainty fingers at the camera, doing your signature sign off, and the screen went black.

Hyunjin’s head fell back into his pillows, staring at the ceiling trying to understand all the emotions he just rushed through. 

He couldn’t compute them even if he tried. All he knew was that he was excited to go to work tomorrow morning, hoping that whatever god heard his plea, begging that you’ll come in.

When he went to shut his laptop, his fingers smeared the warm mess that was slowly dripping. “Fuck— ew,” and he hurried to clean up, alone once again.

☆ﾟ

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @alexis-reads-fics @linaliskz @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @goblinracha @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @iadorethemskz @skyvastbunny @mamabymychem @katsukis1wife @woozarts @noellllslut

[postersofleon]

The Benefits of the Ants

After traveling the world, a family of old wealth discover their daughter is quieter than usual. Despite calling her over dramatic behind her back, they still worry about her. In that worry, they bring a garden expert to fix up the green house they left alone. That's when Leon met the quietest girl he had ever seen, and he had to explain to her why he doesn't kill ants.

Content: fluff and slight angst

Notes: afab fem!reader; i literally dreamt this I don't know why; soft leon; reader is kinda immature; ada cameo because I love her (she is vibing); i think that's all?

taglist: @argreion

"Honey, what's wrong?" The husband asked the woman of the house. The wife replied with a pout, "No space for my shoes." It was unusual for them to fit after she bought piles and piles of shoes; Heels from France, sandels from Greece, and those flapper shoes his wife had grown intrigued to weak to make herself pretty. Odd little things that like that would usually cause a friendly discussion, but what bothered him was the home he left behind.

The once beautiful home just covered in spiders and dust bunnies, but at least the economic boom. His once ten year old child was now a strong twenty five year old who would marry and find the time to find a man. The man was proud of it, but... he was worried about his second child.

He didn't like being blunt in his life, but the second one, oh, she was his favorite.

She was exactly like his grandfather. Quiet and would only speak in small whispers. She wasn't loud as her mother, but still loud enough to not let a man push her over. Not as strong as her older sister, but still as tough as marble.

His youngest daughter was the star of his life and seeing this. Her sad demeanor just made the man ignore his wife's cries for things to be clean. "Butterfly," The man of the house held his daughter, "What's wrong?"

A pout. "I..." She couldn't find the words to explain her frustration. Being back home should bring her happiness, but seeing old room of her childhood just covered with dust. Her old Barbie dolls just frozen in time, stuck in those positions.

It felt stupid to complain, so she just stayed quiet.

The family hired new maids to clean up the mess, cleaning the details as the man of the house stayed in the basement. Muttering an apology to the women when he came in and out of that basement.

"What are you going to do? Stay with mom and dad?" The eldest sister asked. It was not to offend her young sister, but it was worrying that she wasn't even trying to find a romantic partner. Love of a parent or even family is enough, but the youngest didn't even have a friend.

She sighed, "I, I don't know." She poked on a wet wall that the crew were painting, "I just..." Her finger was now that dark green color their mother loved. "I wish I can understand myself." Her index finger and gently rubbed together to spread the paint, "I'll be outside."

-

The father knew his daughter spent so much time outside, hiding away from the crew and her own family. Her childhood room was empty, ready to be decorated by her new interests, but the new issue was coming in. Four large walls weren't home for her anymore. Every Saturday, his daughter would hide away near the lake.

Thoughts went in and out of the man's head. How can he assure that his daughter will stay... at least near home.

Until that's when he had a thought.

The old green house.

-

You were about to go out, explore what else you could learn from this place until you saw a sandy mop of hair. From the distance, it looked like a guy - a young guy who was crouched down on the floor. Butt lifted up to the sky, which caused you to laugh.

Once hearing your laughter, the guy tried to stand up and smacked his head on one of those wooden tables. "Sorry, did I do something wrong?" This was a different voice that you haven't heard. You stepped back to give space to the guy. He sat up and looked up.

He was strange in a way. His blue eyes couldn't even look properly at you, "Um, hi." His legs crossed underneath him. "Ma'am." He added awkwardly.

"Hi?" You slowly said. You didn't know what else to say, so you just left the guy sitting on the ground. Maybe he had a good reason to be messing around down there, and who were you to judge him. Dad probably hired him.

Your boots stepped over the dead leaves, and a crunch appeared every once in a while. You opened the door and left to go outside the other place of the home. The green house was busy being taken care of.

It was exhausting once you lay on the ground of the tall grass. The warm sun was just keeping you a nice temperature. Away from the world by being in the world. You closed your eyes, and a shadow appeared, "Tell mom I'm busy." You muttered before opening your eyes.

Once you looked properly, you saw your father, "Butterfly," He sat down beside you and quickly followed his direction, "Can you help Leon with the green house?"

Immediately, your answer was begging to be a huge no. You didn't want to help a strange guy because... he was doing his job and you'll be the idiot asking him stupid questions. "Do," You played with your jeans, "Do I have to?"

"Please, I want you to make a friend." Your father patted your shoulder. He was pleading with you to give a stranger a chance.

"Fine." You forced those words out.

-

The next couple of days, you were forcibly hanging out with Leon, and you didn't want to be mean. He seemed like a nice guy willing to teach you about soil, but by the way he spoke to you: it was fairly obvious to tell this was just a hobby he kind of liked.

"You have to be gentle with the animals around you." Leon cleaned his face with a dirty rag. You two just sat on the ground as he gave you another lesson. "To plant. You need to understand that not all insects are bad for your flowers and such."

You nodded your head.

"Okay."

Leon smiled.

Little by little, you were getting used to his awkward smiles and his butt chin. Those were the first things you saw of him. His blond hair was his main focus, but it was always dirty with soil. A maid accidentally interrupted the pair to hand them glasses of lemonade, "Thank you, Ada." You whispered softly. Leon thanked her as well, and the maid left with a bow.

You thought about it for a second and realized what time it was. Lunch.

Leon clapped his hands, "So, we have to prepare the soil before we plant the greens." You lifted your sandwich you were eating, giving him the sign he forgot to eat again. Leon groaned softly, "Okay, okay." He unwrapped his plastic wrapping and peeled out a sandwich.

He smiled again at you.

You smiled back at him.

After all, being kind to Leon doesn't seem to have consequences.

Leon took a bite of his sandwich, his eyes were stuck on you, "So, why did your family move a lot?" You knew he meant well and didn't just want to pry on your life, but it was such a complicated answer that you didn't even have. "My dad's job made him travel a lot. He went to Spain and Africa a lot, but I was mostly stuck in the boat that took us place to place." You answered

His eyebrow lifted up, "Oh, that's interesting." Leon pinched the tip of his nose, "Where was your favorite place to go?" He asked.

"I liked..." You sighed softly, trying to think of a place where you actually remembered stepping out of the boat, "I guess I liked Brazil."

Leon's eyes widen, "Wow, so you really traveled everywhere, huh?" You nodded again, "I did," Your eyes trailed down at the insects running around them get food that fell. Your finger carefully floated around one of the ants to kill it.

"Don't kill it." Leon muttered softly.

"They bite." You answer back.

Leon broke up a piece of his sandwich and put it on the ground. In an instinct, you leaned forward to see the ants slowly move close to the piece of sandwich. "All living things have a purpose." Leon smiled again at you.

"Yeah, until the purpose becomes death." You put your finger to interrupt the ants, "Dad said death gives us pain and a friendly reminder that we are easy to be replaced." The ants avoided your finger and headed to get piece of sandwich.

There's was a small pause between you two. God, you sucked at conversations. "Sorry." You muttered softly.

"Well," Leon sighed, "Ants are needed in a garden. And it's okay." He ate the remaining of his sandwich and stood up. You broke a piece of yours and threw it to the ants. "So, now what?" You asked.

Leon smiled, "You," He placed his hand over your head, "You are great." In those exact words, you quickly understood the type of woman you were.

-

As the green house was slowly forming itself, you were seeing as Leon was carefully planting a green sort of plant with no smell or anything special. "Oh, what is that?" You asked. Leon covered the roots, "This is a Fidi." He said.

"Ooh," You leaned close to look at the plant, there was nothing that made this plant interesting, "So?" Your eyes slowly glanced to see Leon. The blond guy laughed softly, "Well, c'mon, you can't be mean with plants." Your finger gently moved a leaf, "What's its purpose?" You asked Leon.

"It helps heal wounds." Leon gently removed a leaf and put it in his mouth. You looked at Leon as he chewed it into paste. He pulled it out of his mouth, "The taste of it removes parasites from your body as well. It's a very beneficial plant to have around." Leon explained. He showed a small cut he had and put it on it. You couldn't help but giggled excitedly at what you saw, "And what? Does it help you?"

Leon laughed softly, "Yeah, it helps."

You two had your lunch again and juice served by Ada. Once you looked down again, you saw the ants there again, "Are they smart?" You asked Leon. Leon shrugged, "In my mind," He broke up a piece of the sandwich and gave it to the ants, "Once they recognized you to not be a problem, they'll stop biting."

Once again you followed Leon's actions, not because you believed him it was because he did it.

"Leon," You began slowly, "Why are you a gardener?"

Leon removed the green paste from his hand, "Well, I am saving up money to go to my police academy or to have enough money to live comfortably." Your cheeks warmed up, "A cop?"

Leon didn't seem like a cop sort of guy, he seemed happy enough to plant the dumb Fidi. Your head tilted a bit, "Why?"

Leon took a drink of lemonade, "Well, I like the idea of helping people." Your eyes looked down, you had your own experiences with cops, and they all vary. You met a blond guy who worked for rescue, he spoke firmly against your father and then a chubby man came and scream at your father again. Then a couple of cops who actually spoke kindly to her.

"Well, I hope you are a good guy."

He smiled again. Strangely enough, your cheeks warmed up for a different reason now.

-

Leon enjoyed his time with you nearly every time. You were still very quiet around your family, but you always smiled when he was around. When he had to do heavy lifting, you tried to help him lift the heavy stuff as well.

Slowly, the green house was filling up flowers, vegetables, and herbs. Which meant Leon's job was nearly done. You wanted to be nice for all of his actions, and so you decided to give him a small party. It was strange to give him a party alone so you asked your mother for help.

You didn't want to make Leon feel overwhelmed because you yourself would be overwhelmed by the attention. Ugh, maybe not a party.

You didn't know what gift to even give him. Slowly, you decided to gift him a bottle of whiskey from Mexico. Gah! Your feelings were completely simulating in the worst way when your eyes met Leon.

"Leon..." Your voice was nearly breathless as you approached him. "Here." You felt your ears burning up. Leon laughed awkwardly. He looked down at the bag, "Whiskey?"

You nodded your head, "Yeah, I... I know most people gift those things." Leon nodded his head as he slowly pulled out the gift. Your cheeks burned as he pulled out a 'Wow.'

You turned around, unable to look at Leon anymore. Gosh, Leon made you feel so many things, and it was... nice. "Looks expensive." Leon whispered softly. Another nod from your side. "It is..." Your fingers began to play the edges of your shirt.

Leon smiled, "Well, how about..." His own cheeks turned red, "How about you and I share a glass of it when I finish my police academy?" Your eyes turned into stars.

"Yeah..."

-

Life without Leon sucked. You didn't want to admit it, but you missed his conversation and his dumb goofy smile. At least Ada was good company, she tried comforting you yet it didn't feel the same. "I miss Leon." You mumbled softly to Ada. Ada nodded her head, "I can see that, miss."

Your father smiled. It was heartwarming to see you like this, "Butterfly, you can send him a letter."

"I don't wanna annoy him." You mumbled to him. Leon was going to be a cop so the idea of just sending a letter. It seemed childish when he just left two days ago. You went outside to the green garden, and those dumb feelings of sadness came.

Ada quickly followed you, "Miss?"

"I don't feel good, Ada." You mumbled softly. Your fingers began to rub with each other; it was the only way to ease you down right now. "I... really like Leon." Ada nodded her head, "I can tell." She smiled kindly at you.

Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, "D-do you think Leon knew?" Before Ada could answer, an ant bit her, "Are you okay?" You asked. Ada nodded her head, "Yeah, it just burns for a while." She whispered softly.

-

As the family slept, Ada grabbed her phone and sighed softly. "Wesker, the butterfly is trapped."

-

In the end, Leon never got your letter. Leon felt stupid to even have a crush on a rich girl so he never tried to call or check on you. He was hired to Raccoon City's police department, but it was too badly affected by a zombie attack. He was trapped in the police's parking garage and a dog attacked him. Someone shot the zombie dog and he looked up.

"Ada?"

[hatsue-exe]

Can I get a request for Kidd and Law (separate) after a bad argument (hurtful words thrown both way) with their s/o? Who apologises first and how? How quick are they to forgive? What was said that hurt each other? Sorry if it's too long and detailed 😅

How they act after a fight:

warnings: some angst, fem!reader for kid (dunno why, just felt like it), gn!reader for law, reader is part of their crews.

Kid:

Eustass is the king of bickering with everyone in the ship, so it's not uncommon that you have disagreements. Fights, however, are a whole other situation.

When you actually fight, it escalates to the point where no one in the crew is able to ignore it. And Kid never masures his words, shouting whatever comes to his mind, so it gets hurtful pretty quickly.

Because of that, he's usually the one to apologise first, even if he's terrible at it.

"Why do you always get in the way? I can handle my own fucking fights!" you screamed as you boarded the Victoria Punk, your captain right behind you.

"Sure you could, just like last time, when you got yourself hurt and Killer almost got shot!"

"I was fine…" Killer mumbled, loud enough for you two to hear.

"See? He was fine! I was fine!"

"Of course he was fine, he's my fucking first mate! He's the one that got you out of that fucking mess! If he hadn't been fine, you'd be dead now!"

"As if you gave a shit about my well being!"

Heat passed the both of you, half the crew following him into the kitchen to try and ignore the fight. Killer, however, stuck around. He knew what was coming and that he'd have to interfere if it went any further.

"No, I don't give a shit about you at all, that's why I waste my fucking time protecting your useless ass from every enemy we cross!"

There it was.

You stopped in your tracks, eyes getting tearful at his words, but you held it, walking past Kid and out of the ship again. "Fine. Since I'm such a nuance, I'll get out of your sight. I'm no longer a Kid's Pirate."

That Killer was not expecting.

"Good fucking ridance."

Oh, no.

The entire crew got to the deck just in time to see you disappear back into the town you ported in. Killer went to his captain, pulling Eustass to the side. "Go after her.", he said, voice muffled by the mask.

"No. She left all her shit on the ship. She'll be back by dinner, when she's done trowing this fucking tantrum."

Problem was, you did not come back by dinner that day, nor the next, nor the following week. And Kid grew concerned. What if you crossed some marine's path? Or a stronger set of pirates?

What if you just didn't want to come back?

Those thoughts plagued his mind until he'd had enough. "Everyone! Get out there and find our fucking crewmate!"

Obviously, Killer was the one to find you. You were at a bar a bit far from the city, the owner being kind enough to land you a room in exchange for some help. "Captain wants you back."

"Your captain, Killer. I'll wait for some other crew to take me in."

"We're your crew." He sounded almost hurt, and you signed, putting away the broom and looking at him. "Come back to us, if not for him."

"So I can stand in your way? Killer, I have the lowest bounty of all of you. You have so much to conquer. I don't wanna bother."

"And I don't wanna conquer shit without you." Both of you turned to see Kid at the bar's door. "Can we talk in private?"

You took Kid to the back, while Killer went to find the rest of the crew. "We'll wait for you on the ship", he said, and you had no idea who he meant.

"Talk, Eustass."

"Look, I'm an idiot, a'right? I shouldn't have said that shit to you. When you got hurt and I didn't manage to stop it, when Killer was the one to go save you, I got mad at myself. I'm supposed to be your fucking partner, what use is that if I can't keep you safe? I was just trying to… Ugh, I don't even fucking know anymore."

"I get what you mean, Kid." You took a step towards him, barely believing your punk-ass captain was being so communicative. "But you can't spend your time babying me. I may not be the strongest, but…"

"You're strong. I wouldn't allow some weak thing on my ship. I wouldn't be in love with anyone weak. I'm sorry. Please come back to us. To me."

That last part was mumbled, but you knew it was sincere. Closing the space between you, you hugged Kid by the waist. "Second and last chance, Eustass. Pull this shit again and I'll rip your other arm."

"HA! Now there's my girl."

Law:

Fights with Law are much different. They almost never happen, simply because he'll room himself out of the situation, which makes it worse sometimes if you actually need to discuss something with him.

Both of you usually end up apologising, and pretty quickly. Holding grudges is a bit though in a submarine.

"I just want to talk, Law. Can you please hear me out this time?"

"We don't need to talk. The problem was solved. End of it."

You grew more and more frustrated. All you wanted was for Law to include you a bit more in his plan-making. You were a great strategist and he knew it. But his plans worked, and that's all that mattered to him apparently. "I just want to help. Aren't we supposed to be partners in this whole thing?!"

Trafalgar got away from the desk and turned his chair to you. "We're partners, but ultimately this is my ship and we will do things my way."

"Ugh, why do you have to be so stubborn? At least give me a chance to…"

"No. If something goes wrong, I'm responsible for it, so we do as I say and that's final. We've had this discussion before. Don't make me have it again." He went to turn to his work, but you got in the way, covering his books with your hand.

"Law I've had enough of this! Let me help! You don't have to do everything by yourself, we're a team! Just goddamn it, let me in."

Seeing your eyes water made Law sign, his hands reaching out to you and pulling you to his lap. "You're right. I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to listen, but I'll try next time, ok?"

"Thank you. I'm sorry for being pushy as well, but I just get frustrated, you know?"

He took your hand in his tattooed one and kissed your knuckles. "I do, dear. Please, say your piece. I'm all ears."

You knew that it wasn't much yet, and you'd definitely have to go over this same topic again after a while, but it was a good start.

a/n: your request was great, don't worry! also sorry for law's being shorter, i just don't know how to write his personality properly :") and i also love kid's little punk, bitch-ass so

[papercupids]

are you sure?

pairing -> mingyu x reader. (gender neutral).

words -> 600+

warnings -> none.

genre -> fluff, established relationship!au, comfort.

a/n -> tbh this is very self indulgent of me but i love writing these small scenarios for the loml so much <3

synopsis -> when a nightmare shakes you up, you’re just glad mingyu has strong instincts when it comes to you. inspired by "are you sure?" by loote.

you're staring at him when his eyes open, and he’s sure he felt it subconsciously, why else would he just wake up at 6 am on a saturday without that, it takes a minute for him to adjust to his consciousness, let alone to the fact that you were staring at him. 

and you swear you didn’t mean to stare at him like that but it was one of the times when you're in deep thinking and you don’t even realize you're staring at something, which this time happened to be processing the details of your dreams. 

he squints and makes a questioning noise, in his morning voice, he asks, "what happened?"

"is everything okay?" he interrogates again after the lack of response from your side.

"hmmm," you hum, diverting your gaze from him and turning to lay on your back on the bed, as opposed to your body being turned to his side.

"you were in my dream,"

"is that, like, a bad thing?" 

"no, dumbo, it's not a bad thing but," you pause, would it be okay to say this out loud? you were never expressive in the first place and it wasn't a problem for you because mingyu made up for it but now, to admit that you dreamt that he finally left you after getting sick of you was to lay yourself vulnerable and you hadn't done that in any of your relationships. and you were scared that if you did tell, people would use it against you, not that mingyu would, you know that. his eyes, they're so concerned and looking at you confused, waiting for you to continue. 

"well, i saw you leaving me," you say finally, in a quiet voice.

"huh," mingyu lies thinking about the equation like that.

"i can't believe you would do that to me," you whine softly.

"baby, i-" kim mingyu is at a loss for words, it was funny and cute that you thought he had say in your dreams. so he wrapped his hands around waist.

"baby, that wasn’t me, you know that,"

"but what if, someday?"

he presses a kiss on your cheek. "it won't be, baby, i promise,"

"are you sure?" you look into his eyes. the dream felt so real. you just hoped you would never see hate for yourself in those eyes.

"i do, i love you, and i would never just up and leave. never ever, i swear."

you nod. he looks into your eyes to check if you believe him. there's a pause where he closes his eyes and leans in for a kiss, soft and gentle, with his hands cupping your face and he attaches your forehead with his when it ends. 

when he pulls away, he holds up his small finger. "i pinky promise,"

to that you can't help but laugh, you love this man so much.

"hey, wait, you didn’t pinky promise it to me,"

"i'm asleep, kim mingyu, already sleeping, i can't hear you," you tease, closing your eyes.

after a while, when the chaos has died down, he holds you close as you both attempt to fall asleep again, it's no time to wake up right now, especially with the exhausting week you've both had.

"you don't feel like i'm bothering you, do you? when i keep on asking for reassurance that you still love me?" you whisper-ask him, you have enough trust in him to know that it's not true but it keeps on creeping in your mind sometimes.

"no, baby, i understand, it's fine, i'm right here. It’s not a bother at all, in fact it just reminds me that i love you and to keep on reminding you of that as well," he emphasises his point by stroking your hair behind your ear, and just letting his hands softly remind you that he was here, just by your side.

"i love you," you finally conclude. and you can't see it with your back to him but you know he's grinning.

[wukong-s-only-wife5000]

Jealous for Wukong please?

Word Count: 846

Rating: some language. Fluff only.

Content/Trigger Warnings: N/A. minor spoiler for those who don't know who the scorpion ep is.

Authors Notes: I'mma assume this is for LMK. When requesting, please be specific. ♥

___________________________

“(Y/n), where’ve you been?!” Wukong grinned when his eyes landed on you. You looked at him suspiciously. “You look absolutely breathtaking!”

“I was gone for nine minutes. What did you two do to my boyfriend?” you folded your arms and looked at 

“W-w-well, you see-” Tang stuttered nervously, but eventually told you what happened in your absence.

“You did what?!” your loud voice made them flinch. “Out of all the idiotic-”

“Relax, (Y/n), don't be so mean to master,” Wukong laughed a bit. “Forgive her, master, you know how she gets.”

“Right…” Tang nodded and watched as Wukong was even more stuck to you. Sure, you'd told them before that Wukong was even more clingy back in the day, but he never expected this.

“Master!” Wukong yelled as the mystery demon kidnapped Tang. 

“Ugh, this day just keeps getting longer and longer,” you pinched the bridge of your nose and watched the two in silence. You could feel a headache coming on.

“Fear not, my love, I will get master back from that demon,” he assured. Though you already knew this, Pigsy looked at you with a skeptical look.

“Listen, what we have to do is focus on getting Tang back from that demon before the”

“Excuse me,”

“What?” Pigsy looked at Monkey King with a glare before he was picked up and tossed away. “Hey!” 

“Wukong-” 

“Fear not, my love, that piglet won't bother you any more,”

“Would you quit calling me that?!”

“Let it go, man,” you tried to console the pig demon, but that only led to Wukong giving him the stink eye. 

You could remember in detail how protective Wukong was of you, especially after he left you for 500 years when he was imprisoned in the Mountain of Five Elements. Now that he was back in that mind space, you knew better than anyone what was to be expected from the Monkey King. 

“Where’s my staff?” your attention was brought back to Wukong as he looked around and saw some random long stick. “Ah! My trusty staff!”

You couldn't help but roll your eyes as he spat on his hands, rubbed them together, and then picked up the stick. You'd have said something, but it was better and easier to just let him do whatever under your watchful eye.

“Huh, lighter than I remember,” he mumbled to himself, you had to keep from making any sound of amusement.

“Let's just get ‘master’ back safe and sound, so we can get back on track,”

“I agree with you 1000%, my love,” he said and looked at you with love in his eyes. How eyes, however, grew stern as he pulled you away from Pigsy and kept you at his side. He was too cute to handle.

“You can let me go now,” you looked at him with an amused smile that made his heart race.

“I have to make sure that piglet doesn't try anything again,”

“What do you mean again?! I never did anything wrong!”

Throughout the entire ordeal, Wukong made sure that Pigsy kept his distance from you. He even went on to hold you on his shoulders like he was your throne.

“Really, Wukong, you don't have to carry me,”

“Nonsense!” he laughed. “I don't mind, you're really light!”

“Why do I bother?” you sighed heavily, but gave up on fighting him on the matter. 

So, you just enjoyed the view and blushed whenever he caressed your leg or kissed your ankle. You never thought that you would actually miss this; him being publicly sweet and overly clingy. You really enjoyed it, and seeing him being so overprotective whenever ‘Zhu Bajie’ spoke to you was very entertaining to watch.

After you got Tang back from the friendless scorpion demon and Pigsy left her with one, things were to be back to normal… BUT YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THAT UNGRATEFUL BASTARD TO DROP A FUCKING BOULDER ON HIM!

It almost gave you a fucking heart attack before he broke the boulder and stood good as knew. Another thing you didn't expect was him breathing fire, that was funny. 

“Why is my mouth on fire?” he questioned before Tang had the audacity to hug him. “Why are you hugging me?” he was so confused as he looked at you for help, but you could only smile. He narrowed his eyes seeing you so close to Pigsy though, and was quick to grab you and hold you in his arms. “Why does my head hurt so much?”

“Let's just say…” you started as you wrapped your arms around your jealous man. “It’s been a long day.”

“Hm…” he nodded, looking over your face as a small smile formed. 

“What?” you raised a brow at his expression.

“Nothing…” he chuckled. “You're just really pretty, and I love you,” he smiled and kissed you softly. 

“Yo, hate to break up the lovely moment, but some of us need to get going!”

Oh, you heard Pigsy alright, you just ignored him and continued to kiss your King to your heart’s content. He earned it.

[hoesplay]

Hii! Can i request nagi seishiro with a s/o who talks alot but then gets quiet for a while because his s/o thinks that their voice is weird and annoying? Thank you!!

ℕ𝕒𝕘𝕚 𝕊𝕖𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕤/𝕠

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘨𝘪 <3 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨.

ｗｏｒｄ ｃｏｕｎｔ： １７６１ ｇｅｎｒｅ： ａｎｇｓｔ ｗｉｔｈ ａ ｈａｐｐｙ ｅｎｄｉｎｇ (correct me if I’m wrong)

ᴛᴡ: ᴍɪꜱꜱᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴄᴜꜱꜱɪɴɢ

It wasn’t intentional when it happened. It was a day like any other. A routine Nagi was comfortable with, where at the end of the day, you would drop by to enjoy each other’s company. He even gave you a spare key, so that he wouldn’t be bothered to get up to open the door, since you are always welcome anyway.

You already knew the drill, so as usual, you got in and made your way to the couch, where you found him playing his game. After a quick greetings exchange, you set yourself next to him, looking over his shoulder to the brightly colored screen, before losing interest in it. Small talk was never Nagi’s area of expertise, so when asked how his day was, he didn’t have much to answer beside a “fine”. You are used to this, you know he is sincere and doesn’t mean anything bad by it. Therefore, keeping the conversation lively is a task reserved solely for you.

It's the dynamic the two of you have sported. You love to talk, and he loves to listen, so you never questioned it, until today. You started talking about your day, describing it in detail, like usual, accompanied by small nods and hums of agreement from his part. It’s not like he’s disinterested, but right then he was more concentrated on the mission at hand. You started feeling out of place the moment he shook his head while you were in the middle of a sentence. After hesitating a bit, you continued your chatter, occasionally glancing at his face to check for any sign of irritation. Nothing out of the ordinary yet. The room echoed with the sound of your voice and the rapid tap of his fingers on the controls.

The discomfort you felt was growing, until you couldn’t help but ask if there was anything bothering him. You didn’t get to finish the question when he tsked with a frown on his face. He didn’t catch the betrayed look you displayed; he was too caught in the game. For a moment, he didn’t even realize that it was a little too quiet for too long. After the screen showed the “Mission Completed” animation, Nagi saved his progress, setting the device on the coffee table, and splaying himself over you, head resting in your lap while his arms circled your waist. The atmosphere could’ve been serene, relaxing, but the silence was a little too loud and you looked at him with a sour expression.

“Is everything alright?” an ice-breaker from the boy.

“Yes.” A plain answer that didn’t sit well with him. Your lack of words was unusual. He didn’t think much of it at first, because he half-listened to your chatter back then and you didn’t seem to have had a bad day.

He proceeded with the usual routine. After cuddling himself by your side, he opened the TV so the two of you can watch something. He usually fights with you for the remote, but you didn’t seem to show any opposition. He asked for your preference, but you only shrugged. Maybe you needed some quite time? He chose the show you two have started a while ago, one of those terrible comedies that make people doubt the existence of human intelligence. You love commenting on those, maybe that would cheer you up.

Not even 30 minutes into the show, he glanced at you. You were dead quite, so he thought you might have fallen asleep, but you were wide awake looking unamused. He started poking your side in hopes of getting a reaction. When you let out a breathy laugh, his eyes lit up, but soon darkened, when you slapped a hand over your mouth, keeping it shut.

“Why did you do that?” his curiosity was genuine, he couldn’t understand what ruined your mood that night. He trusted that if you ever had a problem, you would just say it. The question left a bitter taste in your mouth, so you got up from the couch.

“I’m not feeling that well, I’m sorry.” You said on your way to the door. “I’m going home.”

Nagi went to where you were putting your shoes on. “You don’t have to leave. It’s late.”

You opened the door without saying anything. “It’s a hassle, but I’ll walk you home.” He took his sneakers in one hand before you stopped him. “I’m fine, you really don’t have to.” To say he was stunned was an understatement. His eyes were wide, as if he couldn’t process what you just said. He couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling of letting you all alone on the dark streets, while he’s in the comfort of his home. On the other hand, he trusted your judgement enough to know you wouldn’t put yourself in dangerous situations. “Text me when you get back then.” He kissed the crown of your head before you left. Something was wrong, but Nagi couldn’t put his finger on it. He was restless until he received a goodnight text from you. You usually never refuse a sleepover. Most of the times, when he took a bathroom break, he found you already changed in pajamas that consisted of his shirt and boxers, waiting for him to go to bed.

“Maybe she just needs some alone time…”

The idea didn’t sit well with him, and it all got worse the next day. It was the weekend, which meant that Reo would come and drag him out of his shelter to hang out somewhere that isn’t football related. And where there was Nagi, there was you. Mikage was used to being the third wheel. You had a strange relationship with him, as if he was your little brother that you bicker with all day. Taunts and remarks aren’t new between you since you both keep them within boundaries. Going out for coffee in the morning after a sleepless night wasn’t your idea of hanging out. You couldn’t close an eye the previous day. Different thoughts kept swarming in your mind, making you believe that you are immature for getting mad at Nagi for indirectly telling you that you were annoying him. You had a fair amount of people telling you to shut up, that your voice is overbearing and that you should learn to breathe in between sentences. Your boyfriend never told you this and he never seemed bothered by it until that moment.

You tried to play it cool, meeting the guys at the coffee shop down the street. At the sight of your boyfriend, you averted your gaze, before rethinking your decision. You didn’t want to make things awkward for your childish thoughts, so you neared Nagi and hugged him with a little sigh. Everything was like usual, if we exclude the tense atmosphere that was floating. You were sitting on a park bench, coffee in hand, enjoying the quite Saturday. That is until Mikage started teasing you about the dark circles under your eyes and how disheveled you looked. You gave in to his provocation, voice progressively raising as the argument progressed.

“Your arguments suck, you talk so much without even making a point. Don’t you know when to shut up?” Reo said jokingly. It was supposed to be the usual bicker, but in that moment you lost it. You fell quite turning your head to the side to avoid their gaze. You were dying of embarrassment, tears pricking at your eyes. Nagi looked at you in concern while Mikage seemed confused. “I’m sorry to inconvenience you then.” You said before getting up and heading home. The moment you arrived, you leaned on the door, letting all the tears run down your cheeks accompanied by uncontrollable sobs. It didn’t last long until you heard a knock on your door. “(Y/N), can we talk?”

It was Nagi. You didn’t answer though. He leaned his forehead against the door with a sigh. “I don’t want you to shut up.” You know he wouldn’t lie; his remark had the intention to cheer you up, but you let your insecurity get the best of you.

You stood up, wiping your tears and opening the door. You had no self-control in that moment, no matter how much you didn’t want to lash out at him. “Then why, Seishiro? Why did you look so irritated last night? Is my voice that annoying? Is it weird? What is it? You knew from the start how much I talk why did you even decide to date me if it was so unbearable?”

At your words, Nagi froze. “What are you talking about?” that triggered you further. “What do you mean? I’m not that dumb. If you have any problem with the way I talk you should just say it, not scoff and stay irritated until I take a hint.” At this point you couldn’t control your tears. You felt betrayed and lied to and he kept denying his actions towards you. “I really have no idea what you are talking about.” He looked upwards, probably meditating over last night’s events. That’s when it clicked.

“I think I might have a reason, but you might get angrier at me.” You stayed silent waiting for him to explain himself. “Quite honestly, I only half-listened to you. I was in the middle of a fight.” That’s when it downed on you. He probably wasn’t even reacting to your chatting, just getting frustrated at the game. You let him in the house, embarrassed at your mistake. “Don’t do that, I’ll get the wrong idea.” You pinched his cheek in annoyance, before cupping it. You didn’t know how to feel. He took your wrist before placing a small kiss on it, looking deeply into your eyes. You rested your head on his chest in defeat. You couldn’t stay mad at him for long. He wrapped his arms around your form, holding you in a comforting embrace. “I knew something was off. Next time just say it.” You nodded, feeling somewhat relieved that it wasn’t you he was bothered with. A soft laugh escaped your lips realizing how immature you acted.

You spent the rest of the day at your place, watching that dumb show, commenting on the silly situations and the annoying characters. When you went to sleep, Nagi crept closer to you. “Your voice is really comforting”, he whispered in your ear. That night, you lulled him to sleep with your chatter, even though you were ranting about how you are going to murder Reo the next time you see him.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ! ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ꜰᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ꜱᴏ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ɪᴍᴘʀᴏᴠᴇ :)

[indibutterfly]

Hi, Idea for a showtime oneshot!

So what if Pomni is like having a little mental breakdown hiding somewhere and Caine goes to teleport to her, he finds her crying and goes to comfort her and ask why she was feeling that way. She then proceeds to tell him she just felt trapped and lonely, in which Caines response is that he understands how she feels. Pomni then realizes how Caine can feel that way too, she asks for how long/why he’d been feeling the way she does and his answer is something that’s a depressingly long time or depressingly sad reason, but he says it without caring all that much about it. She then proceeds to feel bad for him and goes to comfort him instead. And that just warms Caines digital heart. :)

IM SORRY FOR THE LONG TEXT SORRY

You are totally fine! I love the amounts of detail, it really helps me to know what you are thinking. I had wayyyyyyyy too much fun with this.

Lemme know if you enjoyed the fic!

She just wanted to be alone. Despite what the others think, it was fine if she was alone. She didn’t need to be around anyone or anything loud or crazy right now….she just needed to be alone with her thoughts. She didn’t even have a purpose here so why bother? She didn’t even have friends here, so why bother? Sure she had the other members of the circus, but they weren’t her friends. They didn’t want to be friends with each other. In all honesty if any of them were friends, it’s because they need to be. Pomni didn’t have any friends here, they didn’t want to be her friend, if anyone talked to her then it’s out of pure necessity. She felt alone. Pomni began to sob as a realization hit her. She didn’t WANT to be alone, she HAD to be alone. Nothing here was real. Nothing…..except for loneliness. That’s was real. The only thing. Why was that the only thing real here?

“Pomni?” The jester heard a calmer version of a voice she knew all too well.

“What do you want Caine?” The ringmaster gave a soft look towards the jester.

“My dear are you alright?” Pomni began to sniffle more.

“I am fine Caine! Just….just leave me alone right now.” He knew the look that she wore on her face……it was a look he was all too familiar with.

“My dear, is that really what you want?” Pomni, didn’t know what she wanted. She did however, know EXACTLY what she needed.

“What I need is to leave, Caine! When I am here I am so very alone!”

“You are not alone! You have the rest of the circus members as friends!”

Anger arose within the jester.

“Those people aren’t my friends! They don’t even care that I am here! No one does!” Caine floated very close to Pomni.

“I care! I care quite a lot!”

“That is a lie Caine and you know it!”

Caine began to feel anger arouse within him.

“Pomni! I happen to care very much about everyone here!” The jester gave a loud scoff.

“You sure cared a lot about Kaufmo, didn’t you?” A silence fell. A sniffling noise was heard, but this time it wasn’t from Pomni. She looked up towards the ringmaster. He had tried to hide his eyes with his arms and staff, but his efforts were futile.

“Excuse me!” He spoke in a soft yet broken voice. With a snap of his fingers he disappeared. Pomni didn’t know what to feel. Was Caine……crying? Is that even possible? She was so confused, as to what exactly just happened. A part of her felt guilty for making him cry. However the other part of her felt curious. Why was he even crying in the first place? She gathered herself together and went to her room for a bit of a mental break. She rested in her room for a while, trying to have a break from the digital world. After about an hour or so she decided to walk around the circus tent and look for Caine. Pomni couldn’t get it out of her mind, as to why exactly he was crying. She decided to ask around and see where exactly he had gone. She tried asking around, but it seemed as though no one knew exactly where he went. She remembered that when she first arrived Ragatha told her that all she needed to do was call around for Caine and he would appear. So Pomni tried that.

“Caine? Caine? Hey I wanna talk to you about something.” She called out to no one. She did this for quite a while. No luck. It was about a week (at least that what she assumes) until she finally saw him again. Pomni expected him to be in a similar mental state to how he was when she last saw him, but he wasn’t. Not one bit.

“Hello everyone! I would like to personally apologize for my recent absence. It was unintentional and won’t be happening again, I can assure you! Now then let’s have a scavenger hunt today shall we?!” Everyone groaned, except for Pomni, who walked up to where Caine was floating.

“Caine? Can we chat for a bit?” The ringmaster shook his head.

“Perhaps later my dear! Now you need to find the others and work together with everyone on this adventure!” Pomni rolled her eyes.

“I know why you were absent Caine.” That was all it took.

“Excuse me everyone I am stealing Pomni for a moment!” He said, speaking quite rapidly. With a snap of his fingers, he teleported the two into Pomni’s room. The jester took a deep breath.

“Look Caine…I-“

“I apologize Pomni!” Caine spoke, cutting off Pomni.

“I clearly invaded your space, when you just wanted to be alone. For that I am so very sorry.” He took off his hat, a typical sign he was being sincere.

“I should be the one saying sorry Caine. My comment really hurt you, and I shouldn’t have said that.” Caine gave a loud sigh in response.

“You were right though.” This immediately caught the jester’s attention.

“What?”

“You were right Pomni. I didn’t care about Kaufmo and I don’t care about anyone here. Not one bit.” A well known silence filled the room before Caine began to speak once more.

“When humans first arrived, I really wanted to cater this place to what they wanted and what they needed. I made some friends and I genuinely cared for them. However one by one they all abstracted……and I had to watch every single one of them go. It was then I noticed the pattern. I would get attached and they would still leave. Never failed. I wasn’t hurt by the fact you brought of Kaufmo. Instead I remembered my dear friends that are sadly…..no longer here.” A realization hit Pomni like a truck.

“Caine….you know how I feel….don’t you?” The ringmaster gave a nod.

“I know loneliness better than anyone here.” She couldn’t take it anymore. The jester ran up and jumped on Caine squeezing him. He barely had time to grab hold of her.

“Why are you hugging me? Don’t you hate any sort of contact that’s remotely physical?”

“I do, but I realized something.”

“And what is that my dear?”

“If we both are lonely, it only makes sense that if we stick together, this place can be a little more less alone.” Caine couldn’t believe it. Pomni, was showing emotion! For something other than an exit! The craziest part was…..she was doing it for him.

“I would love it if you were the cure to my loneliness, Pomni.” Caine pondered in his head a number of thoughts. The main one being how nice it’s going to be around the circus now that he has someone he cares about again and how nice it will be that she cares about him, even if it’s only a little bit.

Fin~

(I am still doing ship one-shots. If you have any ideas or suggestions send me an ask or a comment. As long as it follows the previous guidelines ofc.)

[masonmiamor]

Late night confessions - - Mason Mount x reader.

summary: after a deserved night out, you weren’t expecting the visitor or his confession either.

this was from a request i received, please feel free to send any! 🫶🏻

The tension in the room wasn’t bearable, the early fight in the morning was still present. You ignored him, the annoying nails tapping on the counter, or the loudly chewing of gum. You were at the last point, breaking point to be exact.

You needed to be out for a bit so you did that. You laid out your makeup and heated up your curling wanting to do some small details to your hair. Applied some wispies, perfume and jewelry you looked gorgeous. A couple selfies later your loud heels were heard coming down the stairs.

Mason, who was in the theater room, heard you deciding to see what you were up to. He stood up and walked into the kitchen. You picked up a black trench coat and a beanie not even bothering to look at him. “Where are you going? It’s late and cold,” his voice stern and direct.

“Out.”

With that you walked out into the cold air and got into your friend's car. Drinks later, a couple of dances you finally felt loose, not worried about the person who was back home. He saw everything though, the pictures of the lined up shots, mirror selfies and strangely a video of you singing loudly to a song.

He waited for you. All night spread against the couch till you came. When you did, he was sleeping, the knitted blanket across his feet when you walked in. You weren’t no longer mad instead upset because of how you felt inside. Some of his words did hurt this morning and maybe got the best of you.

He didn’t mean it though, with everything going on in his life he lashed out and he knew it. All he wanted was for you to be with him, break all those rules you made when moving in. He needed just you.

It wasn’t supposed to happen, you weren’t supposed to fall in love with your roommate. Especially the man who’s a professional footballer. A man people and kids look up to. But you did…

The teasing, making sure you were okay after a long day at work, the brown eyes staring back at you when speaking, him making you laugh, or offering his hoodie. To some people like Chilly, it was hard to believe you weren’t dating.

You stared at his freckles that peeped through the moonlight, his now grown out beard and hair. The way he would frown sometimes, or his lashes touching his cheeks, he stirred in his sleep trying to find a comfortable position.

“Mase. Mason wake up, go up to your bed,” he huffed silently as you woke him up but complied. He rubbed his eyes and you turned around confused when someone rang the doorbell. He stood up to follow you behind. “Hi sorry it’s late but you left this in my car,” Mason scoffed when he heard a man’s voice.

Your cheeks burned red, slightly embarrassed at what was going on, “Thank you so much!” you said, “You’re welcome have a nice night Y/n.” You sighed slowly resting your head on the door . “Sorry-”

“Is this what i’m expecting now? You bringing guys over?” he exclaimed, making you stumble back. “What no! It isn’t like that,” you defended walking over to the small stand laying your bag. He laughed sarcastically, you winced at his behavior. “So what? I’m expecting to hear my roommate doing god knows what?,” he challenged.

“What is it you want for me?” you yelled throwing your hands in the air, Mason cocks his head to the side taken back from your outburst. He chuckled and ran his fingers on his chin before licking his lips.

“Please be serious here. You can’t be mad at ME for someone being kind enough to drop something off I accidentally left behind,” you said angrily, becoming quickly irritated. He stared at you, mostly at your revealing lace top, baggy ripped jeans and your heels. So perfect to him.

He doesn’t know why exactly he’s picking a fight, he knows you’re right, they were just doing a favor, but something about you maybe going out with a man that wasn’t him didn’t settle with him. Especially how good you looked…

You both had agreed it was just roommates, but now it was roommates who either constantly fought or cuddled against each other on the crisp white couch. The soft whispers and giggles let out when the movie or show wasn’t entertaining. The small glances or touches when either one of you was in the kitchen.

“I’ll ask again Mason or I'm leaving. What is it you want from me exactly?” the tone in your voice scared him because he'd knew you'd leave. He didn’t want you too, not after everything. Mason was willing to do the extreme if it meant to have you here everyday.

“I want you. Fuck the rules we made. Leave that all behind. I just want you,” he said and slowly walked over. Your face is in pure shock at his words, not believing a word. Your throat closes up, suddenly feeling dry. The nerves inside you were running against your skin, you even heard your pulse.

“I want you Y/n.”

[anonymousj3ster]

Digital

Hallucination

Based off the song "Digital Hallucination

I slowly open my eyes, wincing as they are assaulted by the bright colors of my room. I sigh and sit up, automatically grabbing a black marker and drawing a dark vertical line on the wall, adding to the collection of depressing tallies. One tally for each day I've been here. 420 marks so far. I stare at the marks for a long beat, before dragging myself out of my bed and to the main area of the circus. I've been stuck in here for over a year, if only I could get away.

If only anyone would actually help me.

I wasn't even sure why I still bothered to try and keep track of time. I mean, for all I knew the time here passed differently than the time in the real world. Thats how most video games worked after all, right? A day in an average video game was only... what? 20 minutes? Or maybe time here took longer than the real world...? It didn't really matter, did it? Time is a hoax, in this colored world of jest.

"Maybe it's still just a dream... a really long dream." I mumble deliriously.

"My my, you still think that your dreaming?" A voice booms in front of me, snapping me out of my spiraling thoughts. My eyes snap up and focus on the pair of teeth in front of me. He always seemed in a weirdly good mood, for someone who was constantly tormenting everyone here. If I just knew what he was scheming...

"Nothing, my dear! Just our next adventure!" Caine announces. I frown. I hadn't realized I had said that last bit out loud. Had I? I pale a bit. Or had he read my mind?

"You look like you've seen a ghost!" He says, hovering closer to me and examining me with those mismatched eyes. "I know what will make you feel better! An adventure!" He shouts suddenly in my face.

"No, no!" I say quickly. "I just uh...need food." I lie, stepping past him.

"Well, if you say so my dear... your lucky to have such a gracious host like me, offering you an adventure!" He calls after me. I stop, feeling my eye twitch. "Your adventures don't help. They just make me scared...scared to lose myself here." I hiss softly, tilting my head over my shoulder to stare him down. He gives me a puzzled look, the top of his mouth raising like an eyebrow.

"But there is nothing to fear!" He reassures. "I can't take this anymore!" I snarl, shaking my head and walking away again. I storm down the hall, taking random twists and turns completely lost in my thoughts. After...I'm not sure how long, I finally snap out of it and actually take note of my surroundings. It looked infuriatingly just like all the other hallways: Blank walls with red doors, all equally spaced out in the long corridor. I sigh, about to turn around and attempt to find my way back-

"Is that...an exit door?" I whisper softly in disbelief. I slowly step toward it, keeping my eyes trained on the red rectangle, which looked so similar to the rest of the doors, except for one little detail: The big, white block letters. Exit. I take another step forward. How had I not seen it before? I approach slowly, like it was a startled animal that might flee if I made any sudden movements. I raise my hand slowly, taking hold of cold metal handle, hear pounding in my ears. Was this is? Could I finally leave? I open the door and step through-

Back into my bedroom. I freeze, completely confused. Was it just...my imagination? The exit that was my fixation? I shudder, remembering the exit door maze I had been caught in on my first day here. Door after door I found that it was just a digital hallucination. I try to find a way out, but I'm stuck here day after day inside a digital hallucination. I take a deep breath, trying to center myself.

Logic. Facts. Thats what kept me grounded, kept me sane. I take another deep breath, fumbling in my brain for some sort of information that could distract me, something I knew for certain existed- like the alphabet.

"A, B, C, D..." I whisper softly to myself. Letter. Letters in a name. I name I don't know. I don't know my name. Not even if I'm dead or if I'm just going insane.

"X D D C..." I mumble, before quickly cutting myself off. I sigh and glance around my room for any other kind of distraction. My pinwheel eyes snag on words. I inhale sharply, stepping towards the wall. There was writing there, writing I didn't remember putting there. Vowels and consonants.

'Save me.'

'Save us.'

'Save us all.'

I feel my breathing become more and more rapid as I slowly back away, grasping blinding for the handle of the door behind me. A normal door, the one to the hallway. My hand connects with it and I push it open, stumbling out and running down the hall until I feel like I can't breath. I gasp for air and lean against a wall for a moment, before collecting myself. I take a few shaky breaths before taking a few uncertain steps on equally shaky legs. I hesitate, before heading for the main area of the circus tent, where everybody else who was stuck here hung out. It didn't seem like a smart idea for me to be alone right now. I trudge out into the main area, glaring at the sharp colors.

"You still think your dreaming?" A snide voice snarks. I turn in the direction of it with a dark glare. Jax was leaning against a large block, seemingly arguing with Ragatha while Kinger stared at him. Off to the side, Zooble and Gangle seemed to be arguing too, Zooble fixing the ribbon character with an exasperated look. Ragatha scowls at Jax. "Theres nothing wrong with Pomni not accepting this yet. I mean, whats wrong with a little hope?" She turns toward me with a small smile. "You'll be ok Pomni. Believe me." I nod and try to return a weak smile in return, taking another shaky breath.

"You look like a ghost just saw you!" Kinger squawks suddenly. I flinch at the sudden noise.

"The sayings, "You look like you've seen a ghost", Hoo-ha." Jax grumbles, his yellow eyes flicking towards mine. "Your lucky to have whats left of your sanity- unlike this one." He drawls, pushing Kinger onto the ground. Ragatha glare at him, kneeling to help the chesspiece up.

"I-its just...I miss how the circus used to be." I hear Gangle whimper. "I-it just s-seems so...tragic now." Zooble sighs, seemingly annoyed though it was a bit hard to tell, seeing how their face was just a triangle with eyes. "Yup, so tragic how the circus lost it's magic." They mumble with biting sarcasm. I clench my jaw. It was like this everyday. Fighting. Laughing. Adventures. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. I can't take it anymore-

The air in front of me shimmers for a moment, before slowly solidifying to a hauntingly familiar sight.

Is that an...exit door? I hiss quietly, opening it. I can hear everyone else gasp and say things, but they sound impossibly far away. I walk in, slamming the door after me. But this time, instead of running through the endless maze, I walk, glaring darkly at every bright red door. Just my imagination? The exit that was my fixation? Door after door I slam open and close. Door after door after door after door after door after doorafterdoorafterdoorafterdoord̶o̸o̶r̵a̵f̷t̸e̸r̸d̴o̷o̸r̸-

I reach for the next handle, not pausing my stride, and end up slamming right into the door. I blink, slowly pulling myself out of whatever trance I was in. I frown at the door handle, grabbing it again, only to have my hand go straight through it, as if it wasn't even there. Like it was just a-

Digital hallucination.

Is this all just an amalgamation? Of my own fixation? Doomed to run through door after door just to find out it was all just a digital halluc̵̢͉̤̀i̸͎͉̰̼̽͗͐̽͠n̴̤͓̭͔̟̣̞͗͆̒̔̽̀̚͠a̶̢͖͖̩̭̹͛̇̚ţ̶͚͕̼̫̌ì̵̮̜͕̞̭̦͖̦͓̽̋͊̈̔̕ͅȍ̶̢̡̩̋̔̅n̶̼̬̠̿-

I want to find a way out, but I guess i'm just stuck here day after day inside this digital hallucination. I pound on the door, panic beginning to settle into my mind, until it finally opened. I run through it, adreniline pumping through my body as I open door after door, needing to get out NOW, even if I ended up back in that circus, with it's nauseating colors and lies and adventures and torment and dolls and chesspieces and games and dice and gambles of life and fake death and death and insanity and fear and numb pain-

This place that was just my imagination just a dumb fixation that was just a digital hallucination trying to find a way out but I'm stuck here daỳ̸̡̗̪ ̵̤̦̯̲̣̄̚a̵̤͚̯͂f̷͉̩̓̀͛̔̅t̴͍̙̗͗̐è̵̪͍̣̄̉͝r̸̖̈́́ ̵̠͎͕̈́͒̋̐ḍ̸̟̏͠ä̶̮̠̟̰̪́̚̕y̷̻̮̆ ̶̨̏̔̉̌͋ȉ̴̧̖̺͕̪̊̈́͠n̸̜̱͙͓̄͠s̶͙̰̮̣̑i̸̛̖̼̬̻̓̌d̸̪̹͖̤͙̋e̸̟̺̓̊͠ ̴̪̜͓̣̓̃t̴̡͖̜͐͊̃͋h̵̢̠̾̉̉͝i̴̼̳̍͒̆͒̍s̴̡̧̤͕̈́͊̇ ̵̱͛͐͝d̶̠̼̫͗i̷̦̓̿̈́ǵ̴̻̿ī̴̢͕̠̈͑̇t̸̗̣̋͒̇͐͘͜a̵̗̪̜̘̅̌̊̃ḻ̵̜̯͒͆̍ ̸̙͚̒h̴͍̼̔a̶̢̠̾͛̕l̷͚̣̣̙͇̿̈́͛͝l̶̨̫̼͔͋͜ú̸̡̘͖̘̅͆͘̚ͅc̸̼͕̹̭̠̃̌̈́i̵̬̮͒́̑̔̍ͅn̷̫̠̤͔͔̓̿̆̎̆a̴͎̝̯͍̾ẗ̷͙̽i̷̢̹̗͓͋̔̂͠o̶̞͙̫̪̙̔̏̏n̷̩̗̭͛͊

"G̵̡͚̤͓̼̫̱͉͓̫͚̰̽͛̌͑͂̓̅̓̔̽́̇E̵̛̺̲̳͕̣͂̉̈́̈́̍̈́̚͜͝T̷͓̓̊ ̵̡͈̜͍̬̋̈͛͋̅̔̀M̸͕͖̰̱̫̲͈͑̎̇̇̅̈́͘Ę̵̲͖̪̗̫͇͌̃̑̐͒̓͑̆̀̀͘͘̚ ̸̼̍̈̓̍̔͝O̷̹̤̪̹̠͍̣̭͙̻̞̅͆͒̎̎̈́̓̅͑̅͘U̴͖̲̫̬̺̞͍̳̔̍̐̈̈̔̚͜Ṯ̷̼̞͔͖͈̗͈͈̤̺̠̓͐̽́͊͋̐̉̒́͘ ̵̻̠̳̟̒̇̈́̇̀̕̚͝Ȏ̵̡̦̝͇͎̟̮̦̻̥̞̉̒̌̊͗̆̽̚͜͝F̵͈̰̪̍̏͝ͅ ̴̮̗̭̲̏̐̒̉H̵̺̘̬͍̞͍̪̓E̸̢̖̹͓̹̥̼̐̽͑͠R̶̭͔̞̈́̍̒̆̆͜E̵͉̟̎͂͒̑̎͛̒͂͑͆̏!" I scream, leaning against the next taunting exit door, pounding at it with my fists. "Let me out...just let me out..." I beg nobody. "I'll stay in there, just let me out of here!" I sink to my knees sobbing, screaming and slamming my head against the rectangular monster until it gives me a headache and changes my strangled sobs to bubbling laughter that never stops.

[lake-archive]

You And That Guy

AO3 Link - Wattpad Link

Fandom: Ensemble Stars

Series: I Want To Be With You!

Characters: Ritsu Sakuma, Rei Sakuma (mentioned), Anja-Sophia 'Ann' Wolff (OC), Nyeli (OC by @watersofcamelot)

Summary: Ritsu brings up the question…  ‘Hey, what do you think of Anija?’ The answer… Well...

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“What do you think of Anija?"

Ritsu had been loud and clear, hadn't he? After all, he wanted to get straight to the point with this. No sugarcoating, no beating around the bush, no fumbling around. Just one question, one very simple question. And yet Ann would still look at him in utter confusion, as if she had not understood what he was trying to say. Did she not understand what he had said, literally? No, that was not the point of the confusion, he was able to tell. She had heard him, she understood the phrase. Something else had her confused perhaps, or so was his guess. 

“Uhm… This… Where… You know… Coming from?” She fumbled around a little with her words, trying to phrase it so he would at least understand. 

“I’m just curious.” Ritsu began, first being rather dry and simple with his words but soon continuing with a sharper tone than before. “You two seem very close recently.”

This only resulted in her staring at him for a longer period of time. And not just she was, it seemed that it had also gotten Nyeli’s attention, given his ears wagged over and over and Ritsu could feel the kitty moving in his grasp, his head having most likely lifted itself up. Not to mention the quiet ‘Nye?’ from his lips… 

“Close? Rei–San and I?” Ann repeated, tilting her head a little sideways. She was really clueless, wasn’t she? Ugh… What a pain. 

“Yeah. You even use his first name.” Ritsu responded quickly. And yet he gulped all the same. It was as if he was terrified just asking and maybe in an odd way he was. After all, she could have many answers to that. No, there were many possible answers to his question. He wanted to know but at the same time something told him not to… It was a scary thought. What if he didn’t like the answer or something across those lines? What if something would be up with it? What if? What if!? He wasn’t sure. What if he was to regret this question? What if ignorance would have been bliss in this case? But could he back out now? Because if he did not ask her on the other hand he would be left clueless and wide awake… Or at least in a very light sleep. Could he handle the answer though? That was the better question… Maybe, maybe not. He hated the thought.He hated that it could plague his mind like that… Honestly, he didn’t know what the better option was – Ignore it or face it head on. He was scared of both outcomes after all… 

“That? Ah— W… Well… There is you and Rei–San so—”

“You don’t call me ‘Sakuma–San’. do you now?” He countered, his voice forcing the calm tone yet the sharpness was all too obvious. He may as well be trying to throw daggers at her. Ugh… Why was this pissing him off!?

“I… Never did but—”

“So it should be fine to call that thing by that name, shouldn’t it?”

“Well… I… He offered too back then so—”

“Back then?” One of his questions was answered, some detail which really should not bother him at all. But it did… It did. Even worse, it hurt in some sense. Hearing that he offered… Ritsu just felt like making a fist and punching the next best wall in, preferably blowing it into pieces. This was just… Just… 

And yet, she nodded, even if it had been a bit more on the timid side in the end as her nod was slow, very slow in fact, her face uncertain what type of expression it was supposed to make. “Yeah. Back then… When we met.”

“Right… Of course you two met…”

“Ritsu? Are you alright?” There it was, she didn’t exactly answer, only asking him with her voice. She had taken note of his unusual behavior and he had to sadly admit, it was difficult to keep up his usual poker face. He was so conflicted, his mind felt like some weird mess. His head hurt, kind of. He wasn’t sure what to believe exactly. 

And yet, he decided to lie. Then again, she might have had a clue, regardless of his words. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

All she could do was nod, she had no idea after all. Or at least no direct confirmation. And yet, he proceeded, pressing on. Both options were killing him so it didn’t matter. And yet, he couldn’t believe his own words sometimes. “Don’t you think it’s too personal though?”

“Too personal? Not really…” Ann responded, then seeming to think for a moment yet thought aloud for a second there… “I mean… For a little while… Liking Rei–San—”

“You what!?” He interrupted her train of thought, his voice at the brink of cracking. He was loud out of nowhere, unusually loud. So much so that he felt Nyeli jumping out of his arms out of mere surprise and tapping somewhere to safety, though Ritsu was honestly not sure where. And it did not matter to him, not at this very moment. He just heard it… Didn’t he? Something he didn’t want to hear. Something which may as well be the equivalent to some bad horror movie… Not to mention that he stood there with wide eyes, his own face must be red from the sheer fury this thought put him into. Like? Did Ann just say she liked Anija!? And not just the usual like but— What kind of twisted joke was this!?

She had noticed though, the moment he raised his voice unusually high, making her shut up and cover her mouth for a moment. She knew. This should have never been said. And she clearly didn’t want to. He didn’t need to know. And if that was the case she was right, he did not have to know this nor did he ever want to know! She’s just mentioning this while getting cozy with his ‘older brother’ like that!? Oh how he hated to have even crossed his mind! He couldn’t think straight, now for sure not! He would just say whatever could come out of his mouth! Though the words would be stuck in there, he couldn’t say much else… This was just… Just… 

Ritsu found himself shaking, trying to hold himself back. He just wanted to let loose but should he? No, he shouldn’t, not here. It cut deep though, very deep. How was he not supposed to stand there, trembling? This was just… All of it… To hell with it! Can’t this guy just go to hell already!? It was already enough that he disappeared but now— 

“R… Ritsu! Explaining! I—” He heard Ann stutter yet he paid no attention to it. Instead he found himself yelling out of nowhere. It was one simple phrase yet it said everything he wanted to say at this moment. No more! Just no more! Just… Just… 

“Shut up!” It was all he said, the last two words he would lose in front of her before suddenly going for the door and dashing right out. She probably told him to wait, wanting him to stay, but it was of no use. He just wouldn’t listen. And honestly, right now he just didn’t want to listen. An abrupt end but he couldn’t help himself.

‘Just stop talking!’

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[ashrifts]

It's a day no one is allowed to forget. (If only for the certainty that Ran would not allow it). But what sort of king would Izana be to forget such a day? No, he was well aware of it. A week spent spending more time with Ran and distracting him every time he tried to ask about his gift for this year had certainly made it so Izana was quite well aware, down to the minute, of his birthday.

"Ran." Izana tilts his head with a smile. "Happy birthday." He offers gently, first offering the small bouquet of white heather and purple iris. But that’s hardly the focal point of ithe gifts. Rather it is the meticulously wrapped gift that he extends. He’s no stranger to the expensive taste for yves saint laurent, nor for Ran’s desire for something unique. (Even with the uniforms.) Which is why inside the box, resting atop the article of clothing inside is a simple note on elegant paper of the fact it is custom designed piece to ensure Ran would be the only one to have it. (this was sent later than expected but shh its still his birthday for me)

through ill-meaning pranks and venomous quips spat to hit like a dagger to the heart, it is not unknown to those who bothered to pay attention that ran has a keen eye for details that don't always revolve around his own beauty routinesㅤ—ㅤit's how he knows where to aim where it hurts, with his hands or words.

despite this penchance for assessing peopleㅤ( and dismantle them, if the whimsy struck ),ㅤizana had always been an enigma, difficult even for him to read. he's learned his cues well, verbal and otherwise, out of self-preservation and curiosity both, but ran often finds himself second-guessing his captain's intentionsㅤ—ㅤand maybe it had less to do with izana's words having hidden meanings, and more to do with ran's foolish wish that they might. it's what kept him uncertain beneath his playful questions about his birthday surprise, wondering if there even was one in the first place, not for the gift itself, but for the affirmation that izana did not just see a pawn in his chessboard when he looked at him.ㅤizana had nothing to gain from being kind to ran, after all;ㅤanything he could want he could beat out of him, or he could hold rindou's safety as a bargaining chip and ran would kneel down before him at the snap of his fingers.

there's nothing so soft and sweet as friendship between them, and yet...

ran's eyes close. the velvety petals brush against his nose and tickle his lips as they curve into a warm smile they hide, holding the bouquet close to his chest to fill his lungs with the earthy, yet sweet scent, as contradictory as izana's heart and actions tend to be. when he opens them again, his brows raise, mouth lightly parting with no words to sayㅤ—ㅤthere's no hiding his surprise at the sight of a second gift, and he looks back down at his boss as if to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks.

he's uncharacteristically unsure as he carefully tucks the little bouquet under his arm to accept the box, thoughts racing a mile per second, and openly gasps when its contents are revealed.

ㅤㅤㅤ‘ㅤcaptain, is this...?ㅤ’ㅤㅤfor once, words outrun him. he fumbles for a proper answer as he fumbles, too, with the paper he'd just scanned wide-eyed, tongue unusualy clumsy in his mouth, and there's a glimmer of warmth settling dangerously in his chest that he can barely, almost half-hysterically identify as hope. he knew a part of izana thought of them all fondly, even if the man himself did not realize it yet, but there's no better person to realize the price, monetary and sentimental, of such a present than ran himself. he gapes unceremoniously at the cloth beneath, caressing the fabric with his thumb like a reverent prayer. his voice is quiet, awed.ㅤㅤㅤ‘ㅤthis must have cost you a fortune...ㅤ’

that's how he realizes there's no hidden meaning to this. what izana might not say, ran hears loud and clear. he hugs all his giftsㅤ—the flowers, the clothes, the confirmation that izana cared about him—ㅤclose to his heart and smiles.

ㅤㅤㅤ‘ㅤthank you, izana. i love it.ㅤ’ㅤㅤ

[renneiscent]

You Are All That Matters

Chapters: 9/?

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We are walking just like few minutes already but it feels like forever since not any of us dare to open their mouth and try to speak, especially me. The thought of Jake might be stumbling on my social media profile somehow makes me feeling nervous. Do I look good on the photos that I have been uploading this far? Are there any ugly pictures of me that my friends tagged me to? What did he see when he was stalking my profile since he has said that I’m quite fascinating before?

Oh God, thinking about it makes me uneasy. It gives my body all the tension and now my tummy is hurting just because of those questions. I hit my head as I try to shoo away my previous thoughts. We are in dangerous mission here, MC! Stop worrying about unnecessary things! Because the prior hit didn’t work, I slap my cheek again and it's a little bit hard this time until it makes me hiss because of pain.

“Are you okay?” Jake suddenly stopped and now he is facing me. I guess I was a bit too loud while fighting with my intrusive thoughts.

“Oh.. no, no—I mean yes! Yes, everything is fine! Sorry..” I stutter as I look down, trying to hide my face with my hoodie. I look so stupid because of the tension.

“What is it? Is something bothering you?” I cannot look at him in the eyes and read his expression very well but his voice sounds concern.

“No, it’s nothing. Everything is really fine.” I’m not sure if Jake noticed but I give a little nod to add my response.

“Does my presence bother you?” he asks again.

“What? Of course not!” Finally I look up and face him, my eyes widen of worry. I’m gazing at him as if I try to transfer my feeling to this man in front of me. Perhaps he can sense that every fiber of him never bother me through my telepathy, who knows?

“That’s nice to hear.” He approved then leads the walk again. I’m not sure if he was smiling or not because of his mask, but the tone he made before sounds more relieved. It would be really good, if he really realised that his presence never bother me at all.

We are walking again in silence; feeling frustrated with no one tries to break this awkwardness wall, I’m trying to gain all of my confidence that buried inside somewhere in my soul, I begin to open the new conversation.

“So...” I’m trailing off for a while, “are you staying in Duskwood all this time?” waiting for a reply from him that never came, I continue. “You were pretty fast to arrive here.”

“Mm, I’m staying in the area for a while.” He explained it really short whether he was hiding the truth or just trying to not give more details.

“I see.” To be completely honest, I’m not satisfied with his answer at all but I don’t know if I’m too sleepy and tired or I just don’t want to be too pushy, that’s why I just let this one go.

Suddenly remember that Jake didn’t finish explaining the detail of his plan, I begin to open my mouth again. Well, someone needs to put an effort to kill this thick awkward situation after all. “You didn’t finish telling me your plan back then. What’s the plan actually?”

“As I said, the mine is extensive and the hatch that Michael told you before is not the only one. I was thinking perhaps we could enter the other hatch without encountering the culprit.” He explained, there is this enthusiasm in his voice. It sounds like a good plan without spilling my blood to be honest, but my trust issue is saying otherwise. I’m just hoping it will be that easy.

“And you know where it is?” I asked, hoping he want to share more details.

“Of course I do. I already bring the map of Ironsplinter Mine with me. We can see the entrances and exits scattered across the mine.” He is tapping his jacket’s pocket where he is keeping his phone before, to point out what he meant by map is on his phone already.

“Oh my goodness! Thank you for saving this damsel in distress.” I tried to joke around. Thankfully, Jake understood and he is giving a soft chuckle. I’m glad I didn’t lose my touch even though this is our first meeting.

“What was your actual plan before, if I may?” luckily Jake didn’t shut in the conversation but still giving it the flow.

“Let’s see,” I’m trying to recall what exactly it’s my plan, but no. Nothing comes out. Well, of course, I just told Michael right away that I’m ready to meet him because of my impulsive and defiant behaviour. I never thought about the next plan. “Nah, it’s nothing really; just handing myself over a silver platter.” I shrugged.

“You really...” Jake didn’t complete his sentence but just letting out a long sigh. I look at him from behind and I could see he is shaking his head under his hoodie.

“Stupid, I know.” I helped him by completing the sentence. No doubt, I myself also think that I’m indeed stupid because of it.

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just—it’s hard to believe that you are giving yourself just like that. I would call it as fearless, but yes it is pretty reckless.” He commented, his voice is gentle and it helps me to lessen my nerve to not confront myself any longer about my previous plan which is indeed stupid.

“Well, thankfully you are here for saving me from my reckless behaviour.” As soon as I realised after saying that, I bite my own tongue and correct my previous statement. “Don’t take the wrong idea! It’s not like I’m happy you are risking your safety for me, it’s just…”

“MC,” Jake cut me off all of sudden by calling my name, I surprise with his sudden response, “you really don’t have to worry about me.” He states that word again. The word that I hate so much. How on earth I don’t worry about him?

Without thinking twice, I hit his back out of anger. It’s just a light hit, you all can be chill. I’m just feeling so irritated until I need to hit him so bad. He flinched as soon as I hit him and immediately he’s looking at me with confusion. I’m glaring at him as I speak, “you are so annoying.”

He raises his eyebrows as he tilts his head, still looking at me trying to find the answer. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“That is so annoying of you, how you always eager to protect me and when I want to do the same or just worry about you, you are being like that and not to mention how you said that I don’t have the right to do that.” I didn’t realise my voice is raising and now in high-pitched because I’m venting out the frustration I hold. Yes, I understand we don’t have much time for this argument but he started it!

“Do you remember when you need to go into hiding because of Lilly’s video? Every day, I thought something bad happened to you and I hate myself for it because it means I didn’t trust your ability to protect yourself. But...” I pause a bit for taking a deep breath.  “How could I not worry, Jake? I have no idea what kind of things you have meddled into until government put their attention on you rather than fix this goddamn country!” I exclaimed. I take a glance to see his reaction, but it’s hard because of the mask. His eyes are hard to read either but he is just staring at me.

“It’s not just you…” I’m trailing off, hesitating to finish the sentence but I cannot just stop here. “It’s not just you, you know. I also—I also don’t want to lose you.”

That’s it. I let it out all of my feelings. I’m grateful I managed to spit it out without bawling my eyes out, usually there are some tears slipping out from my eyes every time I’m expressing my anger. But tonight, perhaps my body kind of understand the situation, we cooperate very well.

“MC,” his gentle voice call my name, it sends shiver on my neck. I’m not ready with his counter attack.

“Yes?” I try to look somewhere else but his face.

“I would like to ask you something,” he took a pause for a while. “What I’m about to ask you, might be... little inappropriate.” What is it? What is he about to ask me for? I’m not sure what he is trying to ask from me and the way he told me is not much reassuring at all.

“What is it?” I’m trying really hard to hold my gaze at him in the eyes.

“I would love to wrap my arms around you right now, but of course if you let me.”

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >

[sincerelyella]

Accidental NYE Kiss Chapter 5 - Secrets

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Liam x Ella

Characters belong to Pixelberry; MC Ella Brooks belongs to me.

Song inspiration: Secrets by One Republic

A/N: This is the continuation of my little drabble from NYE that @bbrandy2002 requested where Ella drunkenly kisses Leo…eeeeep!

Catch up here if you haven’t read it.

Big thank you to my amazing snippet readers @burnsoslow and @ao719 - always catching little details that my mind overlooks.

Warnings: Adult language; maybe some angst

Words: 1131

Drake made his way to Liam’s quarters and was about to knock on the door when he noticed it was slightly ajar. Suddenly, he heard a loud crash and noises from inside and he quickly let himself in. “Liam?”

The noises stopped. “In here,” Liam croaked out. He sounds like he’s in his bedroom. Drake stopped at the door to Liam’s room and his eyes went wide. A bedside table was on its side and indented on its corner, laying very, very far from where it was originally. The lamp that was on that bedside table was on the opposite side of the room and shattered. The vase of orchids that Liam had bought Ella was broken and in a heap by the door where Drake was standing. He took in the room, then his eyes landed on Liam. His head was hung, hands on his hips, his right hand was bleeding, and he was breathless from apparently punching a hole into the wall. Several holes actually.

Drake apprehensively stepped forward. “Um, Liam … what the hell is going on?”

Liam’s head snapped up and his eyes bore into Drake’s. “You know what the hell is going on Drake!”

“Okay. Leo had no idea who she was. Brooks was drunk off her ass. She doesn’t remember a damn thing that happened, Li! Was it wrong? Yeah, it fucking was. But there’s gotta be something else bothering you for you to be all … Hulk smash,” as he waved his hands around the room. Liam gave him a questioning look. Drake shook his head. “Never mind. Just … what’s going on?”

“What you’re asking me is ‘why did you punch Leo’ right?”

Drake didn’t answer, he just arched his brow and waited.

Liam paced the room, ran the hand that wasn’t bleeding through his hair, wishing he had his glass of scotch but it shattered when he threw it … somewhere. “I just … Leo always got the girl. Always. Even if it was my girl. Every girl I was interested in just wanted to date me to get to my brother,” he paused to look at Drake, who just nodded at him to continue.

“He always got to do whatever he wanted. Then he abdicated and guess who got chained to the damn crown? Me.” His finger pointed at his chest. “So when I had that fucking social season that I didn’t want, I actually found someone that … I love. Someone that loved me back.” He let out a frustrated breath and threw his hands in the air. “I thought I finally got what I always wanted! After years of Leo galavanting all over the place and getting everything he wanted, I thought it was my fucking turn. But, of course, whatever Leo wants, Leo gets. Like my fiancé.”

“Ex fiancé.”

Liam turned his head to look at Drake. “Ex fiancé,” he echoed slowly and looked down at the ground.

“She collapsed as soon as you walked out,” Drake said softly. Liam’s eyes slightly widened. “I know you didn’t really want to end your relationship with her, you’re just pissed off. You love her. And she loves you, you know that. It’s a constant.”

“Do I?”

Drake huffed loudly. “Yeah, you fucking do, Liam!” He took a breath and let it out slowly. “You’re pissed at Leo … for more than what happened last night. I get it. Go and settle that with him and then fix things with the woman you love,” he raised his voice again with those last two words. “Get your head out of your ass, Li!” Drake stomped off, then Liam heard him close the front door to his quarters.

Liam took a look around the room, then sat on the edge of the bed where he could still smell Ella’s coconut scent on the comforter. What have I done?

**

An hour later, Ella had calmed down a bit and was finally sitting up and talking to Maxwell without crying. Drake had walked in earlier to check on her, but she still hadn’t calmed down, so he went to the kitchen to find some food. Max sat next to Ella one the sofa, rubbing her back and trying to coax her into getting up to get something to eat.

“Come on, let’s go grab something from the kitchen, or cronuts or something.”

She looked down at her hand where her engagement ring gleamed under the sunlight through the large windows. Ella stood slowly, still staring at her left hand, and slid off the ring.

“What are you doing?”

She looked down at Maxwell. “He ended our engagement, Max. I’m giving him back his ring,” she whispered. She strode to Liam’s large desk and placed the ring on top of some paperwork.

Ella turned to face Maxwell. “Let’s go. I want to leave.”

He stood quickly. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere. Take me anywhere. Just … I want to be away from here.”

Maxwell nodded. “Alright, let me call Drake and have him meet us outside.” The pair walked out of the study and through the palace front doors where Drake’s truck was parked. A few moments later, Drake appeared with a sandwich he made in the kitchen.

“Where are we going?”

“Ella said anywhere.”

“Don’t you think … maybe you should wait here, Brooks? Liam might b-”

“No!” She practically shouted. Drake and Max flinched in surprise. “I-I’m sorry. But no. I don’t want to be here. Take me to get cronuts or to Ramsford.”

“What about your clothes? All your stuff?”

“There’s a boutique at the estate. I’ll be fine.”

The men shared a look, then all three piled into Drake’s truck and drove off.

**

After icing his face for a good 20 minutes and cleaning off his bloodied knuckles while in the shower, Liam made his way to the other end of the palace to Leo’s quarters. He hadn’t thought about what he would say, or if Leo was still pissed off … or if they were going to start punching each other again. Liam grimaced. I can’t do another round of that right now. He could feel the left side of his face throbbing where Leo hit him.

Finally, he arrived at Leo’s door where two guards stood right outside. Liam waved for them to move and one knocked on the door for him. A few moments later, Leo appeared wearing sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt. The two men stared at each other for a moment before Leo stepped aside to let Liam in.

Liam walked passed his brother and stopped in the living area. He took in the room, noting that it looked like Leo was packing, then his eyes lifted to meet his brother’s. They had another staring contest, trying to figure out if the other person was still pissed.

Leo finally broke the silence. “We gotta talk, Liam.”

“Yeah. We do.”

[inavagrant-a]

@starsdescent said:

❝ it’s okay. it’s me. it’s me. it’s me. look. look…it’s me. ❞ / lumi !

All of this started harmless enough, he and Lumine entering one of the countless of ruins in the deserts of Sumeru, most specifically one that's closer to the sandstorm that's become Lesser Lord Kusanali's place of interest. She felt like the abyss order was here and that they were up to no good. Tetsuya can't say he's seen any of that yet aside from some of the mages and then the remaining ruins of a once proud civilization. However such a sight is nothing new to him, nothing he hasn't seen before actually. Such a thing is common in Teyvat, after all the divine do demand their sacrifice. However, to be fair, sometimes the human race is quite wise in laying themselves on their own to ruin, that too is a reality that not many are open to accepting, finding it easier to blame it on others than themselves. He has been a culprit of such behavior in the past. But those are boring details, they're boring details that he can not be bothered with. Tetsuya thought, believed, that this ruin expedition would be routine. That he and Lumine would traverse through it and gain nothing from it in return aside from sand in their footwear. Again... that's what he thought.

"Lumine?" Tetsuya's voice echoes amidst the damned and the ruined. He looks here and fro for his darling, uncertain of how it is that he lost track of her or it is that she lost track of him. How did that even happen? They were walking side by side a mere minute ago. "Lumine!?" His voice resounds with authority and demand, his tone firm as if summoning her like she's something from beyond. "Lumine!" One time, two, three, nothing but his own echo answers back, it echoes her name back to him as if to mock him, as if telling him: she can't hear you where you are. "Tch!" He grits his teeth, his indifference towards these ruins quickly soak in annoyance as he paces onwards. No, no, why is he going deeper inside? Shouldn't he be going the other way? He lost her back there, not deeper inside, go back, go back! His logic begins to scream at him, loud and chastising, but as he walks deeper into the sandy ruins that logic becomes more dull, lowers in volume as a high pitched white noise begins to deafen it.

(Go back.) The voice in his head tries to speak over the white noise, something in him begins to shake. (Go ba-.) The voice distorts in its second coming, the white noise finally flooding his entire brain to the point where his ears ring and it's the only thing that grounds him enough to take control of his movements again oddly enough. That annoying ringing in his ears, that white noise that mutes the entire world around him. His legs cease their constant pacing onward, like whatever possessed him leaves him alone momentarily and Tetsuya leans against one of the crumbled ruin walls for support as his hands come to rest upon his head, squeezing his skull like he's trying to pop it like some sort of grape. Convincing himself that that's the only way he'll get this ridiculous annoying ringing in his head to cease. It won't leave him alone, its made the inside of his head its home and no matter how much he rejects it refuses to get out, it refuses to release him from this anguish, this... this pain? Why does it hurt as much as it does? Why? Why does it hurt him so? It's just noise, it's just annoying noise! But no, it's not just annoying noise, he's simply yet to realize it. Then what is it? He wonders and then his legs are moving again, carrying him deeper and deeper into the desolate ruin, telling him that he'll get that answer if he just moves deeper and deeper inside, if he ceases his senseless and futile resisting to whatever putrid madness is threatening to decay whatever sanity he has left and is willing to spare himself with.

Okay... okay... I trust you.

No, no I don't.

... Yes you do.

(...)

A voice rings clear and true through this insufferable white noise, something that has long since been dead. That's not him, that's not Scaramouche, either. Who is that? Sounding mad, on the last thread of their own sanity. He wants to tell them to get out and to release the hold he has now come to understand they have on him, but his mouth will not open and he will not utter a word for his lips have been stitched sealed with worn out stitches, the needle used to do such a thing peeking out from the corner of his lip. He realizes after the fact, not even feeling when that got done to him and by what? He's too disoriented to make sense of anything aside from the space he has entered, grand, and bleeding in gold and silver. Before him a statue that is so out of place. It's of a hooded individual in a heavy robe, with both hands out and amidst their palms lies a cup, a cup that's half-empty, a dark reflective and gooey-like substance swirling slowly within. It emits a strange stench into the air, an invisible aura that he initially did not see before he can see with clarity now. It starts from all the way outside of this room, down the hall he just walked, and ends inside this cup. The ringing inside his head has ceases and for a moment Tetsuya believes he's being led on, keeping his hands on his head like he wants to prevent it from falling off... yet the noise does not come back again. It is little reassurance to him since he's yet to find his beloved, but she's not around here he knows.

The wanderer lets go of his head and stares at the cup. Whatever possessed him... he knows it wants him to look at what's inside and if that means he'll somehow get a release of... whatever the hell this is... then he will. Out of his volition, Tetsuya steps forth until he's before this cup, he stares at the statue's hooded and covered face, almost like he's daring it to do something, to try something, but it doesn't. Though that hardly does anything for him, he still does not trust it. Tetsuya rests his hands carefully on the cup as he takes a look inside, the continuous swirling of the liquid within stops its spin to reflect his reflection, but the one who stares back at him is not him, no... yes it is(?) In his reflection is someone with a similar face to his, tear stains on his cheeks, a purple veil over his head, sadness glazing his dark eyes, in plain white of the finest silk. That's him...

The fragile boy in white begins to weep at the sight of him, almost like he's distraught at what he sees before him, of what... he's become, of what he's made of himself. Why are you crying? Tetsuya wants to ask and his mouth moves in pronunciation but his voice to say them does not come out. The boy weeps harder, like he's just felt the most horrible pain imaginable. Why are you crying!? He voicelessly yells at him. He's so caught up trying to figure out what this means, why he's being shown this in the first place, that he completely misses that the statue's face has since moved, straighten itself up and looking right at him with hollow and empty eyes. The eyes gleam shortly after and a shadow manifests behind him, born from his own shadow. The shadow rises and it rises and it rises until it towers behind him completely, its shape morphing into that of a snake, vines hanging loosely on its form and Tetsuya freezes at this realization. It shakes him at his very core and not many things can accomplish such a thing. But he knows this feeling of whatever looms behind him all too well... it's that of a disgusting God. He's never been one for flight, always to fight so as he turns to acknowledge this figure he's already infused with anemo, but this snake-like God proves to be far quicker than him and far more merciless as it attacks to finish him.

Tetsuya shoots up from where he lays in a rage, his infusion with anemo weeping through his body when he sees Lumine even through his blind rage of disorientation. His instinct is to attack her, but her hands squeeze his arms as if to tell him to lower his guard. Her words don't even set in, not after a blink or two, his vision a haze that does not clear until much later and then does he really see her. "... Lumine?" He asks in disbelief, not yet believing that it's her even though her touch would challenge that thought and prevail. She too looks like she's startled, more than likely by him. "Where-?" He tries to ask, in a rushed attempt to collect himself even though she encourages him to slow down. A slow intake of his surroundings tells him they're in a tent, a tent they set up, he recalls slowly. Right... they said they would enter the ruin tomorrow, not tonight, but tomorrow. The anemo he infused himself with slowly defuses itself from his system as he rests a hand upon his forehead, lowering his head, rummaging through his memories even through his obvious shaken and disoriented state. He knows Lumine is concerned, he doesn't need to look at her, he can practically feel it, and for some reason it annoys him so.

Did he fall asleep? No, no he feels too awake, he didn't fall asleep, he was awake, he knows he was awake. So how... why...

"I'm fine." He's not trying to convince her, but himself.

What the hell... who was that God?