#like the only people who witnessed this was steven himself white and CONNIE

[artsycooky13]

for just a moment, only two were left in that head

[runrundoyourstuff]

Seasons

(A Steven Universe Fic, 2632 words)

Written with love for a holiday exchange with the wonderful @mimik-u !

Prompt: Steven teaches one of the Diamonds about something beautifully mundane (a la Peridot learning about rain.)

--

It’s almost comical how the Dondai pales in size when compared to the Arm Ship—and the magnitude of the difference only grows as Steven descends the ridge. There are some items, both of human and Gem origin, that seemed larger when he was smaller—when he was younger—when everything mysterious in the world, every new thing he learned about himself, filled him with wonder. The Diamond ships, however, are not among these items. They’re as large now as they always seemed to him, if not quite as foreboding. As are the Diamonds themselves, and he is reminded of this, as Yellow disembarks from her spacecraft.

She doesn’t see him right away. Or if she does notice the car, she doesn’t have the frame of reference to recognize it as his, and even after he parks it beside the ship and gets out, it’s several moments before she turns around and acknowledges him standing there.

“Steven!”

“Hey, Yellow.”

“When I called, I hadn’t realized…” She sputters. “Your...your family returned my message to inform me that you were leaving on a conquest—”

“A conquest?”

“Yes, they said that you were going to travel—”

“Yeah, but not on a conquest!”

“Of course, of course, a scouting mission, then—”

“No! Nothing like that! Just a trip! I just...needed to hit the road for a while. Figure out what’s next.”

“I...right, of course. Your—I mean, the Pearl said that you would be taking a hiatus from your Diamond duties…”

At this, Steven chuckles. “Pearl wants me to.” But then he becomes serious. “I shouldn’t laugh. She’s trying to make sure that I take care of myself. She—all of them really, want to make sure I know that I don’t have to be involved in any Gem stuff if I don’t want to. That it’s my choice. And ya know, it’s true that I don’t want it to be my whole life, not like it was when I was a kid. And because there’s no hierarchy anymore, I do want to give other Gems a chance to manage things on Earth if they want to—to show them it doesn’t always have to be a Diamond, and I’m not a Diamond anyway—but I do want to be involved, ya know? Or at least know what’s going on! I put so much work into everything, and not all of it was bad. I was really proud of a lot of what we did, and the Gems are my family…” A pause. “Anyway, that’s all to say that I routed some of the messages from the Base to my phone.”

“I see. I…” She pauses. “I didn’t intend...You did not need to come. I merely called because I didn’t want to catch you off guard. Give your...our...Given my history, I thought if I showed up on your planet unannounced—”

“It’s not my planet.”

“No, of course not. I meant the planet on which you reside. I’ve already...I did not intend to make you feel that…that you needed to come fix—”

Steven raises a hand. “I know. I just happened to be in the area, so I thought I’d stop by. Say hi.”

“Ah. Alright.” The silence resounds. Yellow’s eyes flit away.

“So,” Steven says after a moment—looking for something, anything, to cut through the quiet. “Why Zona?”

“Is that what this place is called?” Yellow glances around. “I needed an area of the Earth where I would cause the least disruptions, where I could dig a sufficiently large hole such that I could access the Cluster. I initially planned on going to one of the Kindergartens, as we’d already irrevocably destroyed all hope of organic life thriving there—I thought I could minimize the destruction. But each already has a fairly extensive subterranean framework that makes it impossible for me to dig deep enough.” She sighs. “I realize this place isn’t perfect. My digging will certainly disrupt some of the plant life. But it appeared at least that there were few humans in the vicinity…”

“Mm.” Steven leads against the hood of his car. “I’m surprised you brought your ship out here and didn’t just Warp. We’re not that far from the Beta Kindergarten, and there’s a Warp there...”

“Those Warps weren’t built for us. We’re much too large.”

“I guess that’s true, but you could always shapeshift.”

“Hmm. I suppose. But there was also the equipment to bring.”

“Equipment?”

“Yes, I...There are...billions of shards in the Cluster. I figured...if I am going to dismantle it and reconstruct each of the Gems whose shards it conatiend, it would likely be easier for me to do it on Earth, rather than bringing all the Shards back to Homeworld. I don’t want to risk losing any of them or damaging any of them even further in transit…And while I may need to ultimately to transport some of them back to Homeworld to locate all the pieces, and though it may be disconcerting for the other Gems to reform on Earth...I…” She leaves the syllable hanging in the air, turns her head away. Steven can just barely make out her tense jaw as though she is gritting her teeth. Sparks radiate from her skin.

“Yellow? Are you...okay?”

“I’m fine!” But then she bows her head, inhales and releases, murmurs: “I apologize, Steven. I am not angry with you. I simply…It has been difficult enough for me to face each of the Gems I have reconstructed on Homeworld. Once they recover from the shock and the terror, they have each looked at me with such disdain. And those Fusion experiments, while they were certainly terrible, pale in comparison to the Cluster. I can only imagine what each of the Gem’s contained within it will feel. And I will deserve it. I hurt so many Gems in the service of the Empire.”

Steven opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, Yellow continues, speaking ever rapidly, ever louder, as though desperate to expel the words. “Do not try to assuage my guilty conscience! That...is not your responsibility. I shouldn’t have just put you in a position to think that it was.”

Another tentative backpedaling, Steven thinks. A walking on eggshells moment, like he’s witnessed with the Gems and Dad over the past several months. And difficult though it is for him to sometimes believe, it’s not as though Yellow is wrong, at least not if he trusts his therapist. But there is a distant look in her eye, a panicked tension in her cheeks, which, when coupled with the fact that this is the first time he’s seen her since his breakdown, makes Steven wonder if she is remembering that day on the beach.

His own memories of it are fuzzy-to-nonexistant; he remembers the pain, and the panic, and the anger he’d held despite knowing that he shouldn't. Then, he has a vague impression of multiple embraces, of Connie kissing his forehead, of crying hot, cathartic tears...And then he’d woken up in the Cluster’s hand, with the eyes of most of the people he loved and almost everyone he’d ever fought all on him.

Despite his own lack of recollection, however, Connie assures him that she’d given everyone—the Diamonds included—something of a blunt talking to that day, a rallying speech, but she won’t elaborate on the specifics of what exactly she’d said. Might that—whatever its contents— be behind Yellow’s hasty assurances now?

“Okay,” Steven responds finally. “I won’t try to make you feel less guilty. But can I show you something?”

Yellow furrows her eyebrows. “Very well.”

“It’s just on the top of the canyon.”

They deliberate for a few moments on the details. Yellow offers to carry him, but even if she’s not White, Steven declines being held in a Diamond’s hand, and while she could shapeshift to fit in the passenger seat of the Dondai, she ultimately elects to simply follow behind the car as Steven slowly drives it up the cliff.

They reach the plateau just as the sun begins to dip in the horizon, casting a golden glow over the grass, over the Autumn leaves, just starting to paint themselves with the vibrant shades that return year after year.

Steven opens the door and steps out. “You never spent much time on Earth, did you?”

Yellow considers. “No.”

“Do you know what I think my mom fell in love with about this planet?”

“Organic life, of course. Humans.” She gestures to Steven. “Obviously.”

“Well, yeah, but not just them. Us. I think it was this stuff too.”

Yellow squints. “These weeds?! These...dying outgrowths?!”

“With things that change. Things that grow. There’s so much of it here.”

“Hm.”

Steven paces over to the grass, then sinks down onto it so that it brushes against his bare calves. It’s mostly soft on his skin but there are dryer patches too, scratchier places on the ground as some of the longer areas start to dry out for the season. The sun dips lower in the sky, and it leaks hues of pink and orange onto the daytime canvas of darkening blue. Yellow looms behind him.

“Feel this.” He pats the ground next to him, and tries not to wince as Yellow’s gargantuan hand settles down on the grass. “You might not be able to tell, but it’s growing. Even right now. By the time the snow—frozen water that falls from the sky—starts to cover it in a few months, it’ll probably be a few inches taller than it is right now. And then it’ll take a break for a while, but when Spring comes next year—when the weather gets warmer again—it’ll start again.

“The trees too. Look out there—they grow taller every year, and every year the leaves change into those beautiful colors you can see. And the shades are similar every year, but never exactly the same. Then the leaves fall off, and then bud again and come back. And the trees keep getting taller. And every time the leaves return, the whole tree is a little bit different too.”

Yellow hesitates. “These are familiar to me. Someone, I believe a Peridot—your Peridot—”

“She’s not my Peridot, but I know who you mean.”

“Yes...Well, she brought some of these...trees...from Earth to Homeworld, and determined how best to make them grow there. I’ve been gazing at them through the windows of the palace ever since, but I hadn’t realized how elaborate, how ever-present, their growth cycles were…”

“I’ve lived on Earth my whole life, and I only just started thinking about it recently. It’s easy to take for granted, but it’s really incredible when you stop to think about it.” He angles his head upward. “And it’s not just the plants. Look at the sky. It changes like this every day.” A pause. “Well, it’s really not the sky that’s changing—Connie told me that it’s an effect of how the planet moves around our sun. But from down here on Earth, it looks like it’s always changing. In a different way every day. I don’t think it’s like that on Homeworld.”

Yellow settles next to him at last, squatting, and then kneeling. “It isn’t. Things are constructed on Homeworld—not grown. We have a sun, but our sky does not transform like this.”

“Exactly. And I think that’s why my mom fell in love with the Earth so much. She was so in awe of how everything naturally grew and changed here.” Steven sighs, clenches him gemstone beneath his hand. “I’m still angry at her a lot of the time, but, like, I get it. She saw herself as this monster.” Here Steven pauses, glances away for a moment before finally letting the words return. “And she didn’t think that she was capable of growth or change. All she thought she could do was pretend to be someone else. And then she found herself on this planet where all anything did was grow for real, and she wanted to be a part of that even in some small way, so she made me.”

“Steven…”

“But the point is, she was wrong. She could have grown as herself. I think she did, even if she couldn’t see it. And she and I aren't the only Gems that grew. All of my friends and family have. None of us is the same as we were when I was a kid. Maybe it just took coming to Earth to see that, ya know? Gems can grow and change, just like the trees can, and the grass, and the sky.

“So yeah,” Steven continues. “White hurt you, and you hurt Mom, and Mom hurt Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst and Spinel and you, and everyone she hurt hurt me, and I hurt Jasper and Dad and a lot of people and could have hurt a lot more, and you hurt all the Gems who were corrupted, and who became the Fusion experiments and the Cluster...and that’s all true, and we all have to deal with that and make the things we did wrong right the best that we can. And it’s hard, and it sucks. But the ways we’ve been hurt and hurt other people aren’t all we are. We can grow and change too. As ourselves. I think the Earth is just one big reminder of that.”

Yellow’s brows are once again furrowed, her jaw agape. “I…”

“So, yeah, it’s going to be hard to face all the Gems in the Cluster as you put them all back together. But it’s the right thing to do. And if it ever becomes too much, you can always come up here, and watch the world change and grow to remind yourself that you’re growing too. You’re better than you were, and if you keep working at it, you’ll keep getting better.”

Then, without waiting for Yellow to respond, Steven stands, walks back over to the Dondai. “Now, I gotta hit the road. I want to get to Vegas by tomorrow. It was nice to see you, Yellow.”

“You as well, Steven.” Yellow rises to her feet.

“Good luck,” he calls out the window as he pulls away, and glancing in the rearview mirror, he sees Yellow’s arm raised in farewell, something like a small, apprehensive smile on her lips.

Six months later, after a sojourn up and down the West Coast, Steven returns to the ridge en route back to Beach City for a visit. He pulls up just as the sun is rising over the canyon, glinting off Yellow’s arm ship, and off of the chest and arms and backs of the little gaggle of Gems gathered next to the ship and the adjacent hole. Yellow is not among them, though. She stands on the crest of the cliff, gazing at the trees, at the little buds beginning to spring into being on each branch.

“Steven.” She turns to him in greeting as he gets out of the car.

“You’ve been busy!”

“Yes, we’re progressing nicely.”

“We?”

Yellow nods. “Some of the Gems I reconstructed from the Cluster decided to remain here to help. Then others in Little Homeworld—and even a few on Homeworld itself—learned about what we were doing, and traveled here to volunteer.” She pauses. “They’re here for the sake of the Gems inside the Cluster, not for me. Still, it is nice not to be alone.”

“Mm.”

Yellow turns from the trees to the canyon, in the direction of the rising sun. The growing orange light catches her Gemstone too, and it glimmers in it. “It’s a beautiful morning.”

“Yeah,” Steven says. “It is.”

[ao3]

[susoftjockau]

The Party - Part Five

Steven had never been to a Japanese garden before. The only reason he came to the idea that they should go was that it had the word 'garden' in it, and a garden meant few people, flowers, and somewhere to think. It was the perfect place, better than a lonely road or grass plains that had mud tracks from fresh mowing.

He never expected it to be this serene, however.

Flowers would bloom in tufts over their heads, the scent of flora wafting now and then in pleasant aroma as they made their way through the path. It appeared to dip down — blossoms tickling him from the sides, trees of varying sizes and growths relaxing in every inch of the area — bringing them to a tiny wooden bridge above a creek, the boards creaking slightly from their weight.

His fingers fiddled with the railing, eyes bearing themselves to the reflection below: staring at him back in wavering refraction, his jam bud's form occupying the space next to him as well. Only a few people would pass by. It was just them; Connie watching the water below with heavy intent, the other awkwardly playing a beat to the wood like it was a rigid snare drum.

Thump dada thump.

“That lily.”

“Huh?” He looked over at her.

Her focus wasn’t clouded, but they looked poised, careful. He looked over at where she was looking, noticing a bump of white amidst the creek’s accumulating pebbles. It was a flower, sitting atop a lily pad, petals spiraling out like a tiny crown in the water.

“It looks familiar.”

Steven leaned a bit, trying to get closer. Even though it was small from where they were, it looked beautiful. “Might be a Japanese flower, since this is a Japanese garden?”

“Sounds likely.” Connie nodded. She leaned more as well, keeping a finger on the bridge of her glasses. “I remember reading a book about Japanese plants. It’s on the tip of the tongue.”

“Water lily?” It looked like the kind to be called a water lily. Or a water plant. Water tulip?

“Darn, something like that!” She frowned, pulling herself back. “Can we take a closer look?”

“Go for it.”

Steven watched her walk off the bridge. She didn’t have the same timid shake of her head or the wanting to buckle her legs. What he witnessed was an explorer, prying and trudging into the riverbeds with a mission in her mind. It could be seen from the tips of her fingers — careful in treading through and examining the flora on closer inspection when she brought herself down to her haunches — and her shoes, which grew muddied from it pressing into the watered banks next to the bordering rocks.

“Steven, come over here.”

And so he did. Getting off the bridge and jumping off the gravel trail, he found himself next to her as they examined the flower laying atop the floating pad, watching it lull around on the surface. Connie was careful in holding it, taking notice of its slight-bulbous shape and color.

”Nymphaeaceae,” she said. Taking out her phone, she began to tap on the keys. "That should be right, it has the same form, location, and everything."

"I mean, you're really smart." He smiled at her, the other's cheeks reddening at the reply. "If there's anybody who could find out about this and get it right, it would be you!"

She bit her lip. "I wouldn't go that far." Then her eyes relaxed at her phone screen. "Oh, it is Nymphaeaceae."

Steven's smile broadened. "See? You're really smart."

She let out an embarrassing squeak. "Now, hey! It's only one answer, it's not like I'll get more right!"

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. He stood up before the other could protest, pointing up at a hanging branch, speckled with leaves. "Then guess on what this is. It looks like a pine to me but I have no clue."

"With a garden like this, the caretakers have to be careful of maintaining the influence of each specimen." She started lifting up slowly, cocking her head at the sight of it. Steven could see the cogs turning. "So it's definitely of Japanese origin." She squinted, moving closer to it. "Look closer." He did, trying to find what she was looking for. "There're spines."

It became clear now. When she pointed it out, the thorns riding along the thick branches became more noticeable. "So a prickly tree?"

"Hmmm. I'm trying to think." She looked through her phone. "Maybe a Japanese black pine?"

"It does look like a pine."

"But the spines," she scrunched her nose, tapping furiously. Looking over, he saw her search bar go crazy with letters and backpedaling: spines, Japanese, Japanese plant with spines on the branches, tree, active in the cold, lilacs, white petals. It went by so fast he couldn't keep up until she blurted out a proud 'aha!'. "Aralia eleta!"

"Aralia?"

At the sight of his expression, she added onto it. "A Japanese Angelica Tree; it fits the description, look."

Steven was now thumbing the screen of her phone, an article in front of him with all the details she had talked about. There it was, a similar looking tree to the one hovering above them, its thrush tickling the tops of their heads — information passing by him in bullet points and pictures.

"It's the same one." There was elation in her voice, the familiar sound he would listen to when she would open up about those shows she loved, or the characters sketched in one of her green notebooks. "There must've been some careful consideration on maintaining it since it said that trees such as this can grow extensively if not cared for."

Steven couldn't help the smile growing on his face. "Then what about that flower over there?"

He pointed at a far-off flower, one that went down the bushes and canopies and growing cornucopia of color. If they got back onto the path they should be able to reach it, it doesn't look dangerous. But he wouldn't mind a bit of danger; as long as they didn't trespass on growing patches or private property, he would go anywhere with her, just to see more of her ease, of her being in her element.

She chuckled. "Alright."

Connie stood up. Beginning to walk over, she grabbed his hand in the process — Steven happy to oblige with a receptive squeeze. "Let's find out."

[anythingstevenuniverse]

*SUF Spoilers* Anyone Can Suffer from Trauma

As the series ends, “Steven Universe: Future” gives us a reminder and portrayal that anyone can suffer from trauma. “Steven Universe” and “Steven Universe: The Movie” have showed trauma many times. However, the epilogue series gives us the one person who is suffering the most right now: Steven. Steven has been through a lot but is usually positive and is able to deal with the situation or does not see it and pushes it off. However, two years after saving the universe, he is starting to fall deeper in depression and isolating himself from loved ones due to trauma from his past. In the beginning of the series, some fans saw this as a surprise because his character is to be kind, empathetic, and positive no matter the situation. But even a positive character like Steven will struggle with a situation he cannot deal with due to his past trauma. “Steven Universe: Future” bring the subject of trauma the show has dealt with before using Steven, the main character, to emphasize that trauma can affect anyone.

The franchise has portrayed trauma in many different characters. The Crystal Gems have had their share of traumas related to the Gem War, Gem society of Era 2, and before and after Steven was born. Pearl was obsessed with Rose Quartz and was deeply traumatized by her passing. She projected her obsession to Steven and questioned her worth as an individual without Rose. Garnet is a mixed gem fusion and was frowned upon by Era 2 Gem society. She did not exhibit much trauma until we see “Keep It Together” where she felt guilt and anger over forced fusion Gems which can be viewed as survivors guilt and she puts pressure on herself to be a calm and collected leader. Amethyst was not affected by the war due to emerging from the ground later then the other Gems. However, she developed insecurities about herself not only because she is a defective Amethyst but also because the Crystal Gems associated the Kindergarten as a bad place therefore making internalizing her existence as a mistake. She struggled to love herself and it later created an unhealthy obsession to beat Jasper in season 3. The Crystal Gems have had their fair share of trauma but are not the only Gems who have suffered some type of trauma. Lapis Lazuli was a war prisoner trapped inside a mirror for thousands of years and trapped herself in an abusive relationship/fusion with Jasper. She was very untrusting of others and when the Diamonds were involved, she ran away out of fear despite hurting others in the process (this is not to blame or negatively criticize anything on Lapis, these are just my observations and opinions). The corrupted Gems during the series are war victims who lost their minds and forms from the Diamond’s blast. Bismuth suffered betrayal from the Gem she idolized because of her radical ideals without anyone ever knowing, leaving her to lash out at Steven and hurt that no one know the true story. After Lapis left with the barn, Peridot fell into a deep depression and lost any form of joy in her life. Spinel suffered abandonment from Pink Diamond that lead to her lashing out at Steven, who did not deserve it, and caused her to loath herself and act out irrationally. Even the Diamonds suffered trauma when they lost Pink Diamond. Yellow Diamond buried herself in her work, Blue Diamond never moved on from mourning, and White Diamond isolated herself from others to maintain a perfect image (does not excuse their genocidal actions in the past, again just my observations). Lots of the Gems suffered some form of trauma in “Steven Universe” and “Steven Universe: The Movie” and were able to move on from it with the help of Steven.

This time it is Steven’s turn to face his trauma in “Steven Universe: Future”. Steven is known as the problem solver and using empathy and kindness to help others. In “Steven Universe” he can handle tough situations and help Gems to move on or/and cope with their trauma. However, this is due to the problems his mother has caused and was a target of Homeworld. He has faced attempted assassinations, identity crises, family drama, and adult situations which can be so much for a child. With the support of his family and friends and his empathetic and kind nature, he either brushes off these problems off to save everyone or deals with these terrible situations with a support system. However, with Era 3 peace time and losing his purpose to save others in “Steven Universe: Future”, he is now dealing with his past and the trauma is manifesting into his behavior.

“Steven Universe: Future” is not the only time he has faced traumatic experiences. There are many episodes in “Steven Universe” where Steven had to face serious situations. “We Need to Talk” Steven clutched his Gem after witnessing Connie and Greg fist bump over shared experience with Gem related knowledge. Steven is a hybrid of a Gem and human and feels alone because he is one of a kind. “Mindful Education” he bottled up his feelings of failure to save others and it started to appear as hallucinations when fused as Stevonnie. He was only able to confront those feelings when talking to Connie and her reassurance to Steven that it is okay to feel bad made him feel better. “Storm in the Room” he confronts his mother (more of a hologram AI) about questioning her motives and damage she caused. The room reassures Steven that his existence was purely out of love to bring life not to fix problems unrelated to him. In “Lion 4: Alternative Ending”, he is frantically trying to find his magical destiny or purpose. After watching a second version of the Rose video, Greg tells Steven there is no destiny for him and Steven realizes his mother just wants Steven to live his own life how he wants it. “So Many Birthdays” he aged rapidly because he felt silly liking childish things and starts aging rapidly. It was not until the Gems started bickering, did he realize he can still like things deemed childish. There are episodes I am missing where he dealt with adult situations and Steven starts to have recollections of his past in “Growing Pains”, but the main purpose is Steven has faced traumatic events affecting him but is able to deal with them because he talked it out or it never bothered him.

When the movie came out, he accomplished restructuring Gem society and creating Little Homeworld for Gems, uncorrupted and Homeworld, to help integrate into Earth society. Everything seemed like the usual happily ever after until Spinel comes in injecting bio-poison into the Earth and rejuvenating the Crystal Gems and Steven. He and the Crystal Gems had to restart, literally, and figure out everything with limited use of his powers. Spinel was a tough character to help, especially when she spiraled downward when Steven left her for a few seconds, and she became angry and started fighting. After fighting Spinel, tiring her out and resolving the conflict, destroying the injector, having the Diamonds take Spinel back to Homeworld, and fixing the damage, it seemed like everything is at peace again.

“Steven Universe: Future” shows how Steven and everyone else is after times of peace. However, something is different with Steven in this mini epilogue series. Once he realizes people are doing fine without him, he is losing his purpose and feels like is friends and family are drifting away. There have been some incidents where Steven had to save the day, but it was solved quickly and he is used to life-threatening situations. The recurring theme or problem of the series is Steven feeling disconnected with everyone because they do not need his help and does not know what to do with his future. We also see trauma resurfacing from this past and he is unwilling to share or get help for it. Steven is dealing with trauma from the past, closing himself off from friends and family, having self-doubt and feelings of being left behind, and suffering from the over-bearing responsibilities and facing life-threatening situations from having a savior complex. He has devoted himself to helping others and is used to chaos surrounding Gem related conflict. There is no other way for him to communicate without helping someone and with no conflict outside his own, he can’t talk to other people normally anymore. In the recent episode “Growing Pains” Dr. Maheswaran explains Steven about childhood trauma is starting to affect his body in dealing with stress. Because he has been in so many life-threatening situations in the past, Steven’s body is reacting to mild stress as life-threatening and activating his powers in extreme ways. It did not seem to have been a problem until Connie’s rejection in “Together Forever” is triggering his body to act as if his life is in danger very much like PTSD. With Dr. Maheswaran’s honest and factual explanation on trauma to Steven and his father as a support maybe he can try to recover. Depending on how the Crewniverse decides to end, it will resolve in Steven figuring himself out and learning to heal himself from the trauma to start moving forward and to the future.

The epilogue series portrays a very important concept of trauma: everyone can suffer from trauma. Are there people affected from severe trauma far worse than others? Yes. Does that make it okay to invalidate mild or moderate trauma depending on person’s background, personality and resources? No. Coming from personal experience and the few reactions I have seen on Steven’s behavior from the series, trauma affects anyone regardless of the person. There are people who can better themselves with more resources then others such as a support system, therapy, self-care, awareness, and coping mechanisms. Some have access to these resources and others may not, but it still does not change the fact anyone can suffer from trauma. There were a few times I saw posts remarking the change in Steven’s character. In “Steven Universe”, Steven was an optimistic and empathetic kid who solved other’s problems through communication. When “Steven Universe: Future” aired, some fans commented negatively on Steven’s inability to communicate well with others anymore and isolating himself due to fear of his friend and family drifting away. His savior complex, especially the need to save others, is causing him to not talk with others about his own problems because he has needs validation from fixing other’s problems. Steven is starting to develop depression and PTSD from his past and the trauma is manifesting and showing. It is not surprising he would go from a happy-go-lucky kid to a teenager suffering from trauma and not talking to others about his problem. He has been through so much as a child; learning about his mother’s identity and past, resolving conflict from his mother’s mistakes, fixing the Crystal Gem’s issues, heal corruption, almost killed multiple times, and restructuring Gem society. It would be shocking if he was still happy with his life, especially after the fight scene with Spinel. Despite being positive during conflicts, he usually pushes aside his own problems to fix others and it is starting to take a toll on him when there are no more problems to fix and he questions his worth. The Crystal Gems are trying to help him, but he cannot open to them because he must be Steven, savior of the galaxy, not Steven, a teen suffering from trauma and unwillingness to confront his past. Steven does have a support system and still has some of his positive traits but even so, he is denying his trauma and not looking for the help he needs. “Steven Universe: Future” shows that no matter one’s background, severity of trauma, personality, and resources, anyone can suffer from trauma. Trauma does not have to define who you are but how you deal with it does. Many suffer from guilt or shame of trauma due to stigma of specific people suffering trauma, comparisons of trauma, and personality traits determining who trauma affects. No one’s trauma should be invalidated but should be supported and treated as real. It’s okay to talk about it and to get help but the only way to do that is if the person suffering wants to get help. Rebecca Sugar and the Crewniverse have demonstrated the importance of recognizing that anyone can suffer from trauma and the best way to heal is self-awareness and accepting help from others.

This post was both difficult and exhausting to write. I was getting anxious a lot and had to take breaks writing this. It took a few days to write and get my thoughts in order before suddenly feeling uncomfortable and taking breaks. Below is a story/reason as to why I wanted to write this post. I cut it because it is really personal to share but I feel comfortable sharing it now. You don’t have to read it which is another reason why it is hidden. Just wanted to tell my story related to this post.

The reason I wrote this post was from the negative backlash from some fans expressed about Steven in “Steven Universe: Future” because of his behavior. Steven is dealing with trauma and an identity crisis and does not talk about it to the Crystal Gems or anyone else. Some fans critic this change in behavior because in “Steven Universe” he was always so positive and used communication to solve his problems. I was getting a bit distraught by this until one of my favorite theorists/reviewer/editor (will not name), tweeted about how Steven has been through a lot as kid, someone as positive as Steven can still suffer from trauma, and his current behavior is related to how he is dealing with losing his purpose and trauma. I cannot find the tweet as it was long ago, but it inspired me to make a post about how anyone can suffer from trauma. Even if the person is positive and has dealt with issues/situations in the past, trauma can change a person, especially ones who help others more then they help themselves and how to deal with certain situations.

I relate to Steven a lot throughout the series. Although Peridot is my favorite character, Steven from the original series, the movie, and the epilogue series, is the character I see myself. With “Steven Universe: Future” I can see myself in Steven even more, especially during my college years. Throughout my childhood I was always the positive child/teen who was able to make friends easily and not afraid to show who I am. I was not popular but lots of people liked me for some reason and I just rolled with it. I always liked helping others with their problems and it did not bother me as I liked being the friend who helped. My sophomore year, I started dating a girl online (I saw her on webcam before to see if she was real) and we clicked and started talking a lot. Things started to go well and my life seemed pretty good despite the stress of school.

About 5 years ago, something happened. I had a friend, let’s call him X, who I started reconnecting with. He was in the Marines and stationed in Japan so we mostly face timed when we could. X told me he was diagnosed with mild schizophrenia and was being discharged from the military. I knew he seemed a bit upset and I thought hanging out would cheer him up. At first, it seemed he was happy, and we mostly just stayed at my place and watched anime. However, X started to drink and exhibit weird behavior. The first time he drank in my apartment, he was yelling, clinging to me, and throwing stuff. A friend of mine came over and X threw a can at him which triggered my friend’s PTSD. The day after, I apologized to my friend and told X to not drink in front of me. About a week later he came over and started drinking again. His excuse was it was hard liquor this time and it makes him act different. Instead of being physically aggressive, he was emotionally aggressive. He talked about his troubles, thoughts, and feelings which shouldn’t be a bad thing. But it was a bit too much for me to where I started crying and he held me and said sorry. The next day I told him to seriously not drink the next time we meet. Around a couple months later, I get sick with a nasty head cold, but was going to an anime movie with X and two other friends. He came to my place a couple hours before the movie to prep but saw I was sick and took care of me. Everything seemed fine and we went to dinner and talked. Then he stepped outside for a long time and when he came back, he said he was talking to someone from the VA which is why it took so long. We get our seats for the movie and enjoying ourselves. Half way through the movie X starts spitting at random, questioning the logics of the movie in a rude manner, and being extremely clingy. We didn’t know why until we smelled alcohol from his breath and saw an opened lemonade bottle. Once we exited the theatre, X started yelling at my friend who was shielding me and throwing soda cans at random. My friend took me to her place, and I called his parents to pick him up before I called the police. The next day I texted him I could not be friends with him anymore because he broke my trust and he needed professional help. X texted back saying I did not want to deal with his problem making me a bad friend and just listening to my friend’s opinions instead of my own. He told me he was getting help but I was hurt by his words and decided to end our friendship because of his toxic behavior. I have not spoken to him for over 5 years now.

I was around 20 when this happened. I was comfortable telling my story about what happened, and that the decision was the right one and necessary. The truth was I felt guilty about what happened. I am the one who helps others before helping myself and cutting one of my good friends off and not helping him when he needed it most was making me depressed. I started going to bars with my friends less and had a strict role that there was no drinking in my place. But I suffered more from it. My apartment started to become a complete mess which attracted cockroaches and a smell so foul my neighbors in the whole complex could smell it. My diet consisted of take out and junk food which may be one of the main causes of gastritis a couple years ago. I stopped drinking and became the prude and boring of the friend group and I started isolating myself because I was no fun. I became distant with my partner and started having negative thoughts I never had before. I never told anyone about my problems because people would compare theirs to mine. I do have a privileged life and at a young age learned that other’s problems were far worse than I am, and my problems are nothing compared to theirs because I have it better. That comparison led me to keep my problems private and divert my feelings in a forced positive way. It was not until my fear of eviction and losing my cats did I start to ask for help. My friend helped me clean my entire apartment before inspection and lots of people reassured me that my problems mattered because they are my problems no matter the severity. I am a bit more open about my problems, but I can hide my emotions or brush it off. I am still working on that.

“Steven Universe” the franchise has helped me through a lot. The original series helped me connect with others and deal with my own problems. I was able to relate to the characters and some of my positivity came back. It even inspired me to both pursue psychological research and start drawing and poetry. However, I still felt guilty for cutting off my friend. Until “Steven Universe: The Movie” came out. After watching the movie and reading interviews, I felt a sense of relief. Seeing Steven trying to help Spinel multiple times despite her toxic behavior made me see the same incident that happened with X. Spinel realizing she is hurting the wrong person and deciding to heal on her own gave me something X never did: it was not my fault and sometimes the person has to heal themselves without you. I finally had closure on my guilt and was able to move forward. “Steven Universe: Future” I can relate to Steven more than anybody on the show right now. When hearing some negative backlash in the beginning of the series, it reminded me of people who thought my problems did not matter because of my privileged life and positive personality. Steven is bottling up his emotions and trauma like I did and it is affecting him. It is not until later in the series, do we see that his childhood was more traumatic then we realized and his affecting his actions and emotions in the present. Even Rebecca Sugar in an interview opened up about her trauma in the past that affected her in the present that inspired “Growing Pains”. I did the same and hardly opened up about my real feelings. I am even trying to get therapy for my issues and turning to my partner and friends for support. With people seeing Steven suffering from his trauma, I am hopeful it will let people know anybody can suffer from trauma and it can affect people despite background and personality. If you read my story thank you for reading and this is just my opinion on the show and story on a part of my life.

[janusthesneakysnakeboi]

Steven Universe: The Inconsistencies Regarding the Biggest Reveal

By: Logan Sanders

Day 3 of @romanssippycup’s Sanders Sides Appreciation Month: Logan Week - Wed’nerds’day. I chose to write an essay pointing out the inconsistencies in Steven Universe Regarding their biggest reveal yet. This is very much not spoiler free, so if you haven’t seen A Single Pale Rose - season 5 episode 18 - I would not advise reading this. Without further ado, let’s get to this essay

Steven Universe is a cartoon, aired on Cartoon Network, with a protagonist of the title character, Steven Universe, with many complex relationships and themes surrounding the “kids show”. The show has a fictional race of Gems, where each Gem is female, and many are LGBT (most of them being lesbians). Steven is half human, and half Gem - the only male Gem ever. He is human in appearance, with a pink gem on his navel. His gem is the same as his late mother’s - a Rose Quartz Gem. His mother was named Rose Quartz, or Rose, and gave up her physical form of a gem so she could give birth to Steven, who has a human father. All of the Gems are named after various minerals, like the other main Gems in the show Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. Rose was the leader of a rebellion against the Diamonds. The Diamonds are the elite Gems, with only four Diamonds in the show White Diamond (White), Yellow Diamond (Yellow), Blue Diamond (Blue), and Pink Diamond (Pink). The end of the war for Earth was caused by Rose “killing” Pink Diamond.

The pivotal moment in the show was the reveal of who Pink Diamond was, which remained a mystery for most of the show, and who actually shattered Pink Diamond. In the episode “A Single Pale Rose” Pearl revealed to Steven that Rose Quartz was also Pink Diamond, and had shapeshifted to be the form of both Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz. There were many differences between Rose and Pink, one of them being a drastic height difference. Rose is about the size of a normal adult human, and Pink Diamond is the smallest Diamond, however, they are the four tallest Gems in existence, and she is larger than all other Gems, except her fellow Diamonds, which tower over everyone else. While the episode was beautifully done, and well thought out, the big secret doesn’t seem as planned as they make it seem it was.

The first reason Rose couldn’t be Pink Diamond is the stability of a gem shapeshifting. Gems have been known to shapeshift frequently, Amethyst using this power most often, for recreational purposes. However, it has been shown by Amethyst, that shapeshifting can’t be maintained forever. Not only has Amethyst shown this, Steven himself proved that he, therefore, any diamond, can’t shapeshift for very long. In the episode “Steven’s Birthday” Steven tries to be taller at his party to impress a girl named Connie, and partway through the episode, the viewer witnesses Steven sweating, and his body trying to return to its normal size after being strained for so long. He later sweats again, trying to resist becoming his normal size, until eventually reverting back into a baby. Amethyst says to this “stretching your [Steven’s] body out for that long is not good for you [Steven].” If Steven couldn’t maintain another form for longer than a day, how could Pink maintain the form of Rose for long? While she may have stronger powers from being a full Diamond, Steven is also a Diamond, and so he would have similar strength to his mother. Unless there is another explanation for this, aside from the “she’s a Diamond” explanation, this should not be plausible.

Another reason behind Rose not being Pink is the gems of the both of them. The first reasoning surrounding the gems of them is clear evidence of two different people is that Rose’s gem is circular, seen on Rose herself and on Steven. It is perfectly round, while Pink’s gem looks exactly like an upside down diamond, and very angular. There is no way without physically altering her own gem that Pink would be able to achieve the circular nature of Rose’s gem. The other reason the two cannot be the same person is the positioning of the gem. If hypothetically, they were the same person, Rose’s gem would be a top view of the gem, and Pink would have a profile view of the gem. In the episode “A Single Pale Rose” we see Rose “become” Pink, and her size and gem orientation change. In no other shapeshift have we seen a gem’s orientation change, however it must require more energy, and Pink did not look fatigued at all after changing back into her Diamond form, meaning keeping the form of Rose, and changing the orientation of her gem do not phase her at all, which is absurd. With two points surrounding the gem alone, the show was very inconsistent when thinking about the big secret of the show.

Obviously, there had to be points that would support the reveal, but we can’t ignore the inconsistencies in the show either. Personally, as most fans had come up with the idea that they were the same person a while ago, and various other reasons lead me to believe the creators used the most obvious point while Steven Universe has always been a show that had plot twists nobody ever saw coming. Fans would constantly be surprised by what the show had to offer. I am not discrediting the show in any way, as the show is very well written and animated, however, I am more commenting on a creative choice made.

Omg you don’t know how long I’ve actually wanted to get these feelings OUT HERE. I just have a lot of feelings

[tomorrowedblog]

Friday Releases for March 26

Friday is the busiest day of the week for new releases, so we've decided to collect them all in one place. Friday Releases for March 26 include Nobody, Invincible, It Takes Two, and more.

Nobody

Nobody, the new movie from Ilya Naishuller, is out today.

Emmy winner Bob Odenkirk stars as Hutch Mansell, an underestimated and overlooked dad and husband, taking life’s indignities on the chin and never pushing back. A nobody. When two thieves break into his suburban home one night, Hutch declines to defend himself or his family, hoping to prevent serious violence. His teenage son, Blake (Gage Munroe), is disappointed in him and his wife, Becca (Connie Nielsen), seems to pull only further away.

The aftermath of the incident strikes a match to Hutch’s long-simmering rage, triggering dormant instincts and propelling him on a brutal path that will surface dark secrets and lethal skills. In a barrage of fists, gunfire and squealing tires, Hutch must save his family from a dangerous adversary (famed Russian actor Aleksey Serebryakov)—and ensure that he will never be underestimated as a nobody again.

The Vault

The Vault, the new movie from Jaume Balagueró, is out today.

When an engineer learns of a mysterious, impenetrable fortress hidden under The Bank of Spain, he joins a crew of master thieves who plan to steal the legendary lost treasure locked inside while the whole country is distracted by Spain’s World Cup Final. With thousands of soccer fans cheering in the streets, and security forces closing in, the crew have just minutes to pull off the score of a lifetime.

A Week Away

A Week Away, the new movie from Roman White, is out today.

Troubled teen Will Hawkins (Kevin Quinn) has a run-in with the law that puts him at an important crossroad: go to juvenile detention or attend a Christian summer camp. At first a fish-out-of-water, Will opens his heart, discovers love with a camp regular (Bailee Madison), and sense of belonging in the last place he expected to find it.

The Seventh Day

The Seventh Day, the new movie from Justin P. Lange, is out today.

A renowned exorcist who teams up with a rookie priest for his first day of training. As they plunge deeper into hell on earth, the lines between good and evil blur, and their own demons emerge.

Enhanced

Enhanced, the new movie from James Mark, is out today.

A young woman with enhanced abilities finds herself hunted down by a sinister government organization. But when an even stronger enhanced serial killer emerges on the scene, agents and mutants are forced to question their allegiances.

The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers

The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers, the new TV series from Steven Brill, Josh Goldsmith, and Cathy Yuspa, is out today.

In present day Minnesota, the Mighty Ducks have evolved from scrappy underdogs to an ultra-competitive, powerhouse youth hockey team. After 12-year-old Evan is unceremoniously cut from the Ducks, he and his mom Alex set out to build their own ragtag team of misfits to challenge the cutthroat, win-at-all-costs culture of competitive youth sports.

The Irregulars

The Irregulars, the new TV series from Tom Bidwell, is out today.

Meet The Irregulars: Bea, Jessie, Billy, Spike and Leo. Join this ragtag gang as they uncover the demonic and mysterious depths of Victorian London alongside the sinister Dr Watson and his enigmatic business partner, Sherlock Holmes.

Invincible

Invincible, the new TV series from Robert Kirkman, is out today.

INVINCIBLE is an Amazon Original series based on the groundbreaking comic book from Robert Kirkman, the creator of The Walking Dead. The story revolves around 17-year-old Mark Grayson (Steven Yeun), who’s just like every other guy his age — except his father is the most powerful superhero on the planet, Omni-Man (J.K. Simmons).

It Takes Two

It Takes Two, the new game from Hazelight and Electronic Arts, is out today.

Embark on the craziest journey of your life in It Takes Two, a genre-bending platform adventure created purely for co-op. Play as the clashing couple Cody and May, two humans turned into dolls by a magic spell. Together, trapped in a fantastical world where the unpredictable hides around every corner, they are reluctantly challenged with saving their fractured relationship.

Monster Hunter Rise

Monster Hunter Rise, the new game from Capcom, is out today.

Set in the ninja-inspired land of Kamura Village, explore lush ecosystems and battle fearsome monsters to become the ultimate hunter. It’s been half a century since the last calamity struck, but a terrifying new monster has reared its head and threatens to plunge the land into chaos once again.

Balan Wonderworld

Balan Wonderworld, the new game from ARZEST Corp. and Square Enix, is out today.

BALAN WONDERWORLD is a wondrous action platformer game themed around the Balan Theatre. Led by the enigmatic maestro named Balan, the stars of the show Emma and Leo will use special abilities from a multitude of characterful costumes as they adventure in the bizarre and imaginary land of Wonderworld. Here memories and vistas from the real world mix with the things that people hold dear. Twelve different tales await our stars in the Wonderworld, each with their own unique quirks. They will explore all corners of these labyrinthine stages, filled with a myriad of tricks and traps, to get to the heart of each story.

Genesis Noir

Genesis Noir, the new game from Feral Cat Den and Fellow Traveller, is out today.

A noir adventure spanning time and space. When a love triangle between cosmic beings becomes a bitter confrontation, you'll witness a gunshot fired by a jealous god—otherwise known as The Big Bang. Jump into the expanding universe and search for a way to destroy creation and save your love.

I TAPE

I TAPE, the new album from Vic Mensa, is out today.

[aseventhactress]

(WARNING: SPOILERS FOR STEVEN BOMB 5 AHEAD) ‘Who Really Shattered Pink Diamond?’ theories

Ever since Steven Bomb 5 was released, the second episode of season 5, ‘The Trial’, has caused quite a stir amongst the fandom. And it’s only natural that it would. Thanks to Blue Zircon’s analysis during Steven’s trial in front of Blue and Yellow Diamond, she has brought to light a lot of evidence that suggests the information we’ve been told thus far about Pink Diamond’s shattering isn’t as black and white as we originally thought. This has now left the Steven Universe fandom with a question that no one expected to be asking at this point in the series: Who really shattered Pink Diamond?

Naturally, at this stage, there isn’t enough evidence to come to a concrete conclusion. However, there is a lot of evidence throughout the series of Steven Universe that could be vaguely hinting towards the culprit. So, using this said evidence, I have decided to get in on the fun and make a list of potential suspects (in no particular order) who could have most likely shattered Pink Diamond.

 Rose Quartz: We can’t rule out Rose from the list just because of Zircon’s analysis. Both Blue Zircon and Yellow Zircon acknowledge in ‘The Trial’ that Rose Quartz had the motive to commit the deed. She rebelled against her own diamond for the sake of protecting Earth and its inhabitants, and since Pink Diamond was the overseer of Earth at the time shattering her was likely the only way to ensure that the humans were free of Homeworld’s tyranny against them. We’ve had quite a few gems say that Rose was responsible for the death of Pink Diamond, such as Garnet in the episode season 3 finale ‘Bubbled’ and Eyeball (who claimed she witnessed the incident ‘with her own eye’) in the episode ‘Back to the Moon’. Even Jasper (who Eyeball claims in ‘Back to the Moon’ was around during the time Pink Diamond was shattered) has accused Rose of destroying her diamond whilst under the influence of corruption in ‘Earthlings’. At one point, even I was heavily convinced that Rose could have done it using the ‘Breaking Point’, since I found it strange that Rose didn’t destroy it after bubbling Bismuth, and it was instead destroyed by Steven after he relived that fateful argument. In the episode ‘The Trial’, Steven himself believes this is how Rose may have committed the deed, and that’s probably because (like me) he went off what Bismuth told him about Rose’s sword in the season 3 episode ‘Bismuth’, where she claims the sword can only destroy a gem’s physical form.

And it’s this line that contradicts the information that we’ve recently learnt in ‘The Trial’. According to the reports given to Blue Zircon and from the information that Blue Diamond gives during the trial, Pink Diamond was shattered with a sword. There have been some people that have argued Bismuth could have lied to Rose about the sword and that she could have shattered Pink Diamond by accident, but considering there have been episodes where we’ve seen Connie wielding Rose’s sword and defeating other gems (i.e. ‘Nightmare Hospital’ and ‘Crack the Whip’), Bismuth was obviously being truthful with what she told Steven since Connie only poofed them. There’s also the fact that it wasn’t confirmed which sword was used to destroy Pink Diamond, meaning there’s a possibility it wasn’t Rose’s own. Other evidence given by Blue Zircon during her analysis has also confirmed that Pink Diamond didn’t have any Rose Quartz soldiers in her entourage before being shattered, and we know this to be true since Steven and Greg encounter an area in Pink Diamond’s zoo where the Rose Quartz gems have been bubbled in the season 4 episode ‘That Will Be All’. And judging by the colour of the bubbles, it’s obvious that the gems within Pink Diamond’s court (or even Pink Diamond herself) were responsible for bubbling them because of Rose Quartz’s rebellion, making it easier for her to stand out and be caught. As Blue Zircon claims, it wouldn’t have been easy for Rose to just approach Pink Diamond and shatter her without someone getting in the way, or at least spotting her and giving Pink Diamond time to dodge the oncoming assault. Although this can be debunked by the fact that Rose could have shapeshifted to blend in with the other gems - since all gems can shapeshift (this is expanded more upon in Pearl’s section) - there’s still the possibility here that gems might be able to recognise each other based upon colour scheme. Yes, we know that in ‘Back to the Moon’ Amethyst was able to fool the Rubies into thinking she was Jasper despite her colouring, but intelligence and observations can vary amongst gem types. There’s also the fact that Bismuth confirms in ‘Bismuth’ that Rose tried to dissuade her from using the Breaking Point to shatter gems. Pearl has even confirmed in ‘It Could Have Been Great’ that Rose believed all life was precious and worth protecting. With those beliefs in mind, it does seem a little contradictory for her to suddenly decide to shatter Pink Diamond, doesn’t it? But that isn’t the only thing that’s suspicious about this, which I’ve recently discovered. This, again, will be expanded on more in Pearl’s section of the list, but we also have to take into consideration how tall Pink Diamond would have been. It’s natural to assume that she’d be the same height and size as Blue and Yellow Diamond, so this would have made it difficult for Rose to try to shatter her in one single blow, due to the disadvantage with her own size and height. 

 Blue Diamond: Compared to the others on this list, Blue Diamond is probably the least likely to have committed the deed. There’s not a lot of evidence to suggest she had a hand in it, since ‘The Trial’ demonstrated that in comparison to Yellow Diamond Blue is more diplomatic. In the episodes where we have seen Blue Diamond make her actual appearances (i.e. ‘Steven’s Dream’ and ‘That Will Be All’), all we’ve seen her do is grieve for the loss of Pink Diamond, to the point where she has made secret trips to Earth to visit Pink’s Palanquin and preserved her human zoo in her memory. ‘The Trial’ further explores Blue’s character, in which we see that (unlike Yellow) she’s seeking closure to Pink’s death. As mentioned before, she comes across more diplomatic than Yellow in the trial, willing to listen to what both sides have to say and even allowing Steven the chance to have someone fight his case to begin with. If she really did have a hand in Pink Diamond’s death, it seems doubtful Blue would act as she’s been seen since her physical debut. Many have speculated that Blue could have killed Pink Diamond and had the event wiped from memory due to trauma, using Yellow’s irrational behaviour and temper outbursts as evidence to say the other diamonds could be hiding the truth to protect her, hence the supposed cover-up. But, as previously mentioned, it is just speculation at the moment.

 Yellow Diamond: Out of the chosen suspects on this list, Yellow Diamond appears to be the most suspicious for the fans, and that isn’t a surprise. Since her physical debut in the season 2 episode ‘Message Received’, we’ve known for a while now that Yellow is the overseer of the cluster and that all she cares about is destroying the Earth. Unlike Blue, she doesn’t care about preserving Pink Diamond’s legacy which is shown during their ‘heart-to-heart’ talk in ‘That Will Be All’, where she tries to help Blue get over her grief but ends up revealing her own feelings on the matter. Having seen those two episodes alone, fans have naturally assumed that Yellow’s obsession is her own way of coping with Pink’s death, in which she wants to destroy the very thing that took away someone important to her. This can be strengthened by ‘The Trial’, where Yellow’s irrationality and temper are demonstrated for everyone to see. But there are other reasons for this, which have either been speculated by fans or are kind of obvious.

The first is that Yellow did shatter Pink Diamond. Her behaviour during the trial is strong evidence for this, since she is determined to have Steven shattered without even listening to what he has to say. At one point, she even suggests he be shattered because of Rose Quartz turning up in ‘disguise’. And if that isn’t bad enough, then her reaction to Blue Zircon’s accusation just makes her seem even more guilty. It would also explain why she’s so intent on destroying the Earth and perhaps why the diamonds used ‘The Corruption’ at the end of the first Gem War to wipe out all gems in the fight. She could be trying to get rid of evidence of what she did so no one on Homeworld ever finds out, Blue included. The feelings she displayed in ‘That Will Be All’ could be her guilt for what she’s done, which is why she thinks destroying the Earth and the accused killer of Pink Diamond will solve her problems. And yet, despite the other theories behind her behaviour shooting this one down, there’s a strong piece of evidence to suggest this isn’t the case. Does anybody remember the part in the season 3 episode ‘Monster Reunion’ where Centipeedle tells Steven about what happened to her during the last stretch of the first Gem War? Centipeedle draws the scene where the Homeworld Gems are ordered to withdraw and return to their ships right before ‘The Corruption of the Diamonds’. We’ve seen from episodes such as ‘Gem Heist’ and ‘That Will Be All’ with Holly Blue Agate and the Amethysts under her rank that gems formerly under Pink Diamond have been re-assigned between the diamonds, with even Jasper confirming this to be so after her revelation of her true diamond leader in ‘Earthlings’. This means that after Pink Diamond’s shattering there were gems from her entourage amongst the ones who managed to escape from Earth before the corruption. And then there’s Eyeball, who (as mentioned in Rose’s section) has claimed that she witnessed Rose Quartz shattering Pink Diamond, which makes her a key witness. Surely if Yellow Diamond wanted to wipe all evidence of her misdeeds, she would have made sure to find a way to shatter all of these other gems who were under Pink Diamond before and during her shattering, wouldn’t she?

And it doesn’t stop there. There are two other theories which debunk the first. The second theory (linking back to what was similarly said in Blue’s section) is that Yellow’s behaviour can be seen as her way of trying to protect Blue Diamond from the truth. Regardless of who the supposed culprit is, it’s possible that Yellow already knows who it really was and that her actions are just her way of looking out for Blue. There’s also the possibility that she might be just as clueless as Blue, but wants to give Blue some form of closure even if it means exterminating a wrongly accused gem. We’ve seen in ‘That Will Be All’ and ‘The Trial’ just how protective Yellow is of Blue, and that she does care about her feelings. Her irrationality towards Steven and the Zircons could be just her way of giving Blue some form of closure to help her move on, even if the suspect isn’t actually the culprit. Aside from her reactions around Blue, there isn’t much to confirm that this is true, but it is plausible nonetheless. And thirdly, there’s the obvious theory that Yellow just has a vile temper and overreacted to the accusation Blue Zircon proposed, hence why she lashed out. It does appear that Yellow gets easily offended when gems oppose her authority and superiority through insults, which we’ve seen demonstrated in ‘Message Received’ when Peridot defies her and calls her a ‘clod’, resulting in the diamond pulling the face that has led to the iconic meme circulating around the internet. Although it does seem Yellow holds some evidence which makes her seem guilty, it’s hard to truly discern at the moment if this actually makes her the culprit.

 White Diamond: When put against the others in this list, White Diamond is probably one of the biggest enigmas to the fandom. And this is probably the reason why many fans believe she could potentially be the culprit behind the shattering of Pink Diamond. Going off Blue Zircon’s analysis alone during ‘The Trial’ is evidence enough to put White in the firing range. Combined with theories surrounding the murals of the diamonds, White Diamond is seen as the main leader of the gems going off the number of planets that are depicted around her mural. With the amount of power she supposedly has, it wouldn’t be too hard for an elite of her standing to remove another diamond and manage to shift the blame whilst keeping the rest covered up. It would explain her lack of presence in Steven Universe so far, as well as the trial for Steven and her participation in ‘The Corruption of the Diamonds’. But at the same time, we know very little about White Diamond to actually find any concrete evidence or a motive for wanting to shatter Pink Diamond. Until she makes her physical debut, or we learn a little more information about her, all we can do is speculate.

 Pearl: I know what you’re probably thinking. Pearl shattering Pink Diamond? Are you mad?! Perhaps, but it was a thought that occurred to me whilst I was in the middle of watching Steven Bomb 5. Out of her, Garnet, and Amethyst, Pearl is the only one whose past we know the least about. We know she’s been with Rose Quartz since the beginning of the rebellion from Garnet’s past story in ‘The Answer’, and that the pearls on Homeworld are nothing but servants to the nobility and elite thanks to Peridot in ‘Back to the Barn’, but we have no information on who she was formerly the servant of. However we don’t really need to know this fact to determine if she shattered Pink Diamond or not, since she was already part of the rebellion by the time the incident occurred. So the question still remains: could Pearl have shattered Pink Diamond?

There is evidence to suggest that this theory is plausible, and the focus of this evidence lies within Pearl’s reactions to the topic itself and her attitude towards shapeshifting. Garnet confirms to Steven in ‘Bubbled’ that Rose did shatter Pink Diamond, and if a member of the Crystal Gems has said this to be true then it’s hard not to believe. Hers and Pearl’s reactions to Steven hearing this story from Eyeball whilst on the moon base in ‘Back to the Moon’ is what makes the accusation believable. But between Garnet’s and Pearl’s reactions, Pearl’s seems to be the strangest. When I first saw the episode, I assumed Pearl’s reaction was out of worry for what Steven would think of his Mother, but after watching ‘The Trial’ it dawned on me that Pearl seems to fall into a ‘shell-shocked’ kind of state whenever the topic is brought, evidenced in both ‘Back to the Moon’ and ‘Steven’s Dream’. If Rose was the one who shattered Pink Diamond, then why is Pearl the most upset about it? Most could argue that Pearl feels guilty because she was once the servant of Pink herself, but naturally this is just speculation at the moment, with the theory also being debunked by another theory that uses the designs of Yellow and Blue Pearl to determine our Pearl as possibly being the former servant of someone in White Diamond’s court or White Diamond herself. However, it is also possible that Pearl’s reactions are connected to trauma for shattering Pink Diamond on Rose’s behalf, with Rose orchestrating the whole thing so it looked like she was the one who committed the deed. And this is where the shapeshifting comes in.

We know from the season 1 episode ‘Cat Fingers’ that all gems can shapeshift, even Pearl herself. She confirms this to Steven when he asks. However, in the same scene, she also tells Steven and Amethyst that ‘just because you can shapeshift, doesn’t mean you should.’ That’s a little strange for Pearl to say, isn’t it? Later on in season 1, in the episode ‘Keep Beach City Weird’, she’s the only gem who refuses to shapeshift and join in the game of ‘Steven Tag’. Now this can be passed off as Pearl being Pearl, but considering what she said in the earlier episode her refusal to use shapeshifting could connect to the shattering of Pink Diamond. We’ve seen Amethyst shapeshift into Rose in the season 1 episode ‘Maximum Capacity’, and since we know all gems can shapeshift it wouldn’t have been difficult for Pearl to shapeshift into Rose and commit the shattering in front of Pink’s entourage. Not to mention sneaking in beforehand wouldn’t have been a problem, since we’ve seen from the season 4 episodes ‘Gem Heist’ and ‘That Will Be All’ that Pearl didn’t stand out as strange to Holly Blue Agate aside from her unnatural mannerisms. Whether this was because Holly Blue doesn’t pay much attention to gems below her rank or not is unclear, but considering Blue Zircon makes it clear in ‘The Trial’ that there were no Rose Quartz soldiers in Pink’s entourage, it doesn’t surprise me that Pearl could have easily blended in as another Pearl from Homeworld during the rebellion and lured Pink Diamond out of her Palanquin before shapeshifting into Rose out of sight of her court and then appearing to shatter her in front of these spectators. It would go well with Eyeball’s proclaimed witnessing of the event and make sense with why Rose supposedly contradicted her own ideology. Pearl has said herself that Rose thought all life was precious and worth protecting, so it would make sense if she had offered to commit the deed in Rose’s place to prevent her from tainting her own beliefs, wouldn’t it?

But it’s not just those factors alone that make Pearl a likely suspect. As mentioned before, in ‘The Trial’ the reports given to Blue Zircon and the information Blue Diamond provides suggests the weapon that shattered Pink Diamond was a sword. However, it’s never been confirmed outright that it was Rose’s sword. Out of the four Crystal Gems before Steven we know that the only two who knew how to wield a sword were Pearl and Rose. We’ve seen in episodes such as ‘Steven the Sword Fighter’ and ‘Sworn to the Sword’ that Pearl is capable of wielding a sword as a secondary weapon, and we’re even shown in ‘The Answer’ during Garnet’s story that Pearl was wielding swords as her primary weapon during the rebellion, whereas Rose had yet to acquire her signature weapon. With this in mind, Pearl can be considered a most likely candidate for having shattered Pink Diamond depending on the type of sword that is confirmed to have shattered her. But, there is a piece of evidence that can debunk this theory, and that does lie with what sword was used against Pink Diamond. We’ve seen in ‘The Answer’ that Pearl’s swords don’t shatter any of the gems she tackles in Blue Diamond’s court, instead they only damage the physical form of the gem like Rose’s sword does. We’ve seen back in the other episodes alongside this one too that Pearl has a specific choice of sword, meaning if she’d used that sword against Pink Diamond she probably might not have shattered her. Then again, Pearl’s attack patterns during the fight scene in ‘The Answer’ consisted of horizontal slashes rather than thrusts and none of the attacks appeared to be specifically targeted for the actual gemstones, so it’s still possible that Pearl’s weapon of choice could shatter a gem if targeted correctly. 

But, as mentioned with Rose, there is one piece of evidence recently brought up by youtuber SliceOfOtaku that debunks the possibility of Pearl and Rose shattering Pink Diamond, and that is her height and size. Regardless of whether or not Pink Diamond’s gem was probably placed in her navel, Pink Diamond was probably the same size as Blue and Yellow. Blue Zircon points out in ‘The Trial’ that Pink was shattered instantaneously with a single blow, and thinking about it now that does seem odd. SliceOfOtaku uses evidence from the season 1 episode ‘Coach Steven’ to prove that Pearl doesn’t do well in fights on her own against larger beings in terms of actual strength, as we saw with her fight with Sugilite. So if either Pearl or Rose had tried to aim for Pink Diamond’s gem for a single blow, she probably would have noticed and had enough time to stop them. This is why it’s understandable as to why Blue Zircon accused the diamonds of being involved in Pink’s demise, since their size and strength would have allowed them to shatter Pink in one go before she could retaliate. However, until we find out more about the circumstances surrounding Pink Diamond’s demise, all we can do is speculate. 

 Taking what was said above into account, each suspect on this list – no matter how little evidence they have – hold some potential to be the murderer. But until Rebecca Sugar gives us more information surrounding Pink Diamond we’ll never truly know. It could even be someone we have yet to learn the existence of. Either way, all we can do for now is keep our eyes peeled and our ears open for anything that could take us in the right direction.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 61: We Need to Talk

“I’m…not…a real person.”

In Reformed, we see Amethyst’s discomfort with her physical state lead to self-destructive self-loathing, and that’s her arc until Earthlings. In Sworn to the Sword, we see Pearl’s lingering feelings for Rose enhance a sense of worthlessness that damages her friends and herself (usually in that order), and that’s her arc until Mr. Greg. In Keeping It Together, we see Garnet face the consequences of an outsider who misunderstands and perverts fusion, and that’s her arc until Log Date 7 15 2. And in We Need to Talk, we finally explicitly see that Rose Quartz wasn’t as flawless as she may have seemed, and that’s her arc for the rest of the series.

This is a watershed episode in a series that lives in Rose’s towering shadow. Hints of her more problematic traits go all the way back to the second episode, where the conflict hinges on her secrecy, and we get glimpses into the more negative effects she’s had on Pearl (and Garnet) in Rose’s Scabbard and Sworn to the Sword (and Keeping It Together, a little). But these clues are much easier to see in retrospect, when we know that despite her kindness and love of humans, there’s a certain cold distance that Pink Diamond maintained with even her closest allies that’s just as responsible for Steven’s existence. It may be a given these days that the hero (and villain) of the rebellion was far from perfect, but her humiliating condescension towards Greg is a lurching change of course for her character that hits like a slap in the face.

Crucially, the reveal that Rose has issues doesn’t take away from what makes her great. She likes and loves her friends. She’s funny, as seen in her banter with Greg (my favorite: countering ”I’m getting a little worried about the future” with “Oh, just ask Garnet!”). And despite her blithe spirit, which is the source of all the positives and negatives we see in this episode, she’s willing to take Greg seriously when he affirms his sincerity. Which makes sense, considering what makes her such a huge deal among Gems is her appreciation for change.

Rose Quartz is the savior of Earth, but Pink Diamond was the person who tried conquering it in the first place, and they were the same person. Rose and Pink were both liars, but Rose and Pink both loved humans. They both knew that they needed to change, and that’s how Pink became Rose and Rose became Steven. And it’s vital that this change comes when Greg demands to be treated as an equal, because Pink Diamond’s entire life was a desperate attempt to gain respect. It’s chilling to watch this episode after meeting White Diamond and seeing how closely Rose mirrors her belittling behavior: she treats Greg as a joke, but because she knows how that feels, she immediately recognizes that she’s gone White when she’s called out on it. It’s not shocking that Greg is the love interest that sticks, because Greg is more of a kindred spirit than even he knows.

It goes hand in hand with a more mature depiction of Rose that this is also the first time we focus on her as a sexual figure. It’s kid’s show level to be sure, but the camera’s attention to her eyes and lips during What Can I Do (and, y’know, the song itself) gives us a glimpse of how Greg, an adult who’s at the very least in lust at this point, sees her. And it doesn’t hurt that Susan Egan can go full Megara to inject a certain sultriness in lines as simple as “Oh, yes.” If we’re going to have an episode about seeing Rose for who she really is, well, this is part of who she really is.

What Can I Do is another big flashback number on the heels of Comet, and not just because we finally hear Rose Quartz sing (which, again, Megara). Scroll down to any of my episode rankings for the past thirty-nine reviews and you’ll see that my favorite is Steven and the Stevens; forget Greg and Rose, the most monumental reveal of this episode is the origins of the Crystal Gems, Backup Band! And, if you haven’t already, close your eyes and just listen to Greg’s Stemage’s guitar solo on its own. Heck, listen to that guitar the whole song. Kudos to Greg for keeping up while his girlfriend turns into an even huger woman.

Greg remains the focus character, and he’s grown since Story for Steven. I love the new lived-in relationships he has with the other three Crystal Gems, from open rivalry with Pearl to big brother friendship to Amethyst to chummy admiration of Garnet. It would make no sense for him to get to know Rose without getting to know her roommates, and seeing most of them hanging out happily and even starting a band of sorts is a testament to Greg as a likable novelty. It’s one thing for Rose to see him differently by the end of the episode, but the rest of Gems take him more seriously as well. He’s a keeper.

Still, it’s his relationship with Rose that’s at the forefront here, and although we know they end up together, it’s great to see the dramatic first steps. Greg wears his heart on his sleeve, and I love that we’re seeing a more mature side of that earnestness after a flashback that saw him abandon his dreams of stardom for a mystery woman. He’s given a lot for this relationship, and this episode respects him enough to acknowledge it. Rose wasn’t an escape route and Greg isn’t a flaky quitter, and We Need to Talk puts a hard stop to that potential interpretation of his impulsive actions in Story for Steven.

At the same time, Flashback Greg is still a huge romantic prone to huge gestures for huge women, which allows him to believably set up a shining dance floor on the beach just for the two of them (it’s just the backdrop of their stage laid flat!). He and Rose are both shown to be infatuated—Rose even goes starry-eyed—but sustainable relationships also need the sort of dependability and resolve that Greg shows in his words and actions. He proves himself someone that deserves respect, which is critical for their conversation to work.

The talk itself is nicely understated, touching on the fact that both characters have been in relationships before without dwelling on details, and selling Rose’s confusion and distress in regards to love without falling on hackneyed “human emotion does not compute” tropes. It’s just the start of the next step in their relationship, and we get just enough to understand that progress is being made.

Structurally, I appreciate that We Need to Talk spends less time outside of Greg’s perspective than Story for Steven; it’s not perfect (the final scene in the past involves the other Crystal Gems saying things Greg couldn’t have possibly heard) but it’s better! It’s also a much more immersive setting than the other flashback, using an eighties vibe (Rainbow Quartz’s appearance, Garnet’s keytar) as shorthand for the past even though this definitely happened in the late nineties at the earliest given Sour Cream’s age. And on a fantasy Earth with locations like Delmarva, Keystone, and Empire City, I’m so tickled by Greg’s offhand reference to the real-world Marx Brothers: for the record, I’m pretty sure taciturn Garnet is Harpo, talkative Pearl is Groucho, and clownish Amethyst is Chico. 

If it’s interesting to see Rose diverge from what we’re used to, it’s downright fascinating to see Pearl so confident and sassy around Greg. Story for Steven only references the Pearl factor with a one-off joke, but she practically needs to be a major plot point in We Need to Talk if we’re going to take seriously the notion that she loved Rose. This is Pearl pre-grief, still fighting for Rose, and I love that she’s a giant brat about it, especially after Mr. Greg clarifies how accustomed she was to Rose’s other flings. We only see Pearl act like her modern iteration at the very end as she’s crushed by the realization that she has actual competition: after all those years, she never thought she’d lose. And the tragedy, for her, is that her nettling of Greg about fusion is what caused him and Rose to get closer.

(Amethyst and Garnet are more similar to their modern counterparts; Amethyst is a bit more feral in the past, but she drinks motor oil to this day so there you go.)

Present day once again bookends a Greg flashback, but unlike Story for Steven we get thematic mirroring between the two time periods. Connie’s on a roll in terms of bonding with non-Stevens, first with Pearl in Sworn to the Sword and now with Greg. We’ve witnessed the pair hang out a few times now, in situations as intense as Ocean Gem and mundane as Winter Forecast, but we haven’t seen anything close to the connection they share here. Which is a shame, because Connie and Greg’s wildly different personalities help hide what this episode finally makes obvious: they’re both regular humans who love magic and are lucky enough to be close with magical people. In fact, they’re the only members of that club on the planet. In that way, they’re alone together.

Stevonnie’s grand reappearance lasts all of ten seconds, but it’s enough to leave a major impression. Greg once again proves to be a fantastic parent, quickly shifting from his initial shock to warm reassurance when Connie panics. Even though his straight recitation of the episode’s moral is a little After School Special cliche, we get a surprisingly bittersweet ending out of his desire to help Connie.

It’s lovely to that these two make this new connection, and while it’s never spoken, their bond is strengthened in retrospect with the knowledge that Greg can see his own stressful childhood in Connie, and is trying to be the helping hand he never got as a kid. And Steven’s exclusion allows him to understand his mother better, holding his gem as he observes the others grow closer. But as we’ll see in Steven’s Birthday—and the entire back half of Steven Universe Future—it’s a somber thing to see him left out of the Human Beings club.

Future Vision!

Connie’s secrecy regarding magic finally reaches a turning point in Nightmare Hospital, which alongside Sworn to the Sword and We Need to Talk solidifies her new role as Deputy Crystal Gem.

Pearl’s confidence in fusion as the thing that puts her and Rose’s relationship at a higher level than Greg could ever achieve is given new layers after seeing the birth of Rainbow Quartz in Now We’re Only Falling Apart.

While the title of this episode is a common enough phrase that it might not be an intentional reference, Yellow Diamond telling White “we need to talk” begins a similar baring of her soul that Greg gives here, to a condescending figure similar to Rose. The difference being that Rose listens, while White zaps away Yellow’s personality, because Rose may be flawed but she’s not a villain, no matter how much some fans want her to be.  

The movie’s rock show mirrors the small rock show here beautifully, this time making Greg the one whose new fusion prompts Pearl to change.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

It’s been a minute since we’ve seen Hilary Florido’s AU, and here’s another instance of it being the official promo art; like the lack of traditional promo art for Keeping It Together, this may be due to the Steven Bomb rushing things, but if that’s the case then I’m doubly grateful for the time she took to give us such a wonderful gaze into the Steven Universe Academy.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Definitely an upgrade compared to Story for Steven. There’s something to be said for love at first sight, but this is a great moment in developing both Greg and Rose as people in a real relationship.  

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

Keeping It Together

On the Run

Warp Tour

Maximum Capacity

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

The Test

Future Vision

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

We Need to Talk

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

     4. Horror Club      3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure