#the most likely fact is that connie had to watch unable to do anything

[artsycooky13]

for just a moment, only two were left in that head

[sweettodo]

beggars can’t be choosers.

levi ackerman x reader x eren jaeger.

includes : threesome, cockwarming, edging/denied orgasm, oral, swearing. whole lotta smut, not a lotta plot.

wc : 4k.

synopsis : a promiscuous sequel. eren knows you’re missing levi and him, and he’s gonna help out his desperate little friend to get the captains attention.

✰ a / n ,, thank you for almost 1,000 followers, i love you all ! <33.

The night after it all transpired- you were like a new woman, the unusual smile on your face made the others query your motives when you appeared at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, even on missions.

'What has her so lively?'

You were fulfilled, there was nothing that could top that night- that night was the embodiment of your fantasies. Both your Captain and long time friend, with you right in the middle.

For the most part, your affairs with the two dwelled to be the same, your comrades still unable to tell something had gone down between the three of you. Eren invariably sat next to you; you teased each other just like always and your Captain still treated you like a peon.

Though not even you could disagree to the fact that you were like an addict, just itching to be touched like a pervert, you longed for the littlest bit of attention- per usual. And it was more painful when Eren purposely chose to torment you, little pokes and prods, long hugs and squeezes sent you over the moon, this was a game to him, and he played it good.

You didn't concede this to Eren, but he could tell you had these twisted ideas in your mind without a word needing to be spoken, watching you doze off into space. Whilst your mind was filled with vile notions of that night- at every waking moment of the day- Eren much less thought about that evening with Captain Levi involved, he would rather make his own remembrances with you.

Giving your feelings the time to fester meant nearly dropping to your knees if anyone so little as gave you a high five.

And Eren loves to use this to further his objective, he finds it a good source of entertainment to watch you shiver, or whine because, ‘she doesn’t even hide it, she wants me so bad.’

On one end, Captan Levi was his usual cold self, and you still flirted with him... For the joke.

While on the other end, he liked it- of course, he did, he liked the chivalry enough to drag you into his office and show you how much he liked your trifling behavior.

Whether he liked it or not, he found himself thinking about it too. Not enough to divert his attention on more crucial aspects of his life and job of course, nor did he act on his thoughts.

It was so pitiful, laying in bed looking at your ceiling as you touched yourself- for what felt like hours- feeling both of them filling you up and giving you what you yearned for. The feeling almost too real, and you yearned to feel it again. You needed it again, no matter the cost.

Your mind filled with only Levi Ackerman and Eren Jaeger.

"What are you thinking about?"

Breaking out of your reverie, seeing Connie parking his rear in the dining halls bench, "oh, nothin' just tired." He hums in response, slowly nodding.

"Dreamin’ about me, I hope."

"Only in your wildest dreams, Springer."

Jean, who's sitting beside his friend and throwing a loose arm over his shoulder, "who'd be daydreaming about you?" he cackles, Connie shoving his best friends’ arm off of him and frowning.

"Don't worry Jean, I have enough love for the both of you."

"I don't-"

"You love it though, right, horse face?" peeking a look to your side, the familiar brunette is claiming his seat next to you, grinning at his friend who's flustered and kicking Eren under the table.

Jean struggles to play it cool, rolling his eyes and tossing his hands behind his head, "I already have someone on my mind."

"Shucks, I can't play around with you anymore?" wriggling your eyebrows, devilish smile growing on your face, Jean shakes his head.

"Nope, doesn't work on me anymore."

Connie interjects, "don't listen to em', he's always gonna be a slave for your little flirts."

"Am not!"

"Yeah, you are, everyone knows it."

Armin and Mikasa walk into the arguing, giving each other a side-eye before hesitantly settling at the table, hearing Jean try to defend himself against his friends, "guys, no need to yell so early in the morning." Armin hushes, sighing.

"Jean, you know you love it."

"Even Armin likes it!" Eren laughs, pointing at his best friend, "he won't deny it either!"

Armin smiles cheekily, scratching the back of his head, "we're not talking about myself right now."

You had a skill, almost like it was an art- reeling any man in as you pleased, and they loved it, who wouldn't?

You suck in a corner of your bottom lip, looking down at your lap.

"Why are you be so loud, Eren?"

The table instantly falls mute, heads darting to face the man in charge, "sorry Cap."

"I want you all outside in ten minutes, be on time."

As quick as he comes, he's gone, not looking at you indifferently. 'This was seriously going to be a one-time thing?'

"You look antsy, y/n." Eren leans over to your ear, "what's on your mind?" he asks, you look at him, he knew exactly what was on your mind.

"You know what's on my mind, Eren,” smug look on his lips, patting your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze, "don't tease me, Jaeger." You mutter, placing your hand on top of his own to remove it from your leg.

"Y'know, now all of a sudden you don't like it when I touch you because it makes you think of that night, it's obvious."

Your eyes squinting to scowl at him, glancing around to see if anyone had heard what he said; they didn't, all of them either throwing away garbage or talking amongst themselves, "why don't you just stir things up again? You want to, I can tell."

You sit there silently, allowing him to rev up your engine, this was something you craved to feel, he wanted to see you act up, enticing him and his friends, "do what you did before, Captain is bound to give you what you want."

You listened to every word he said, his hand still on your thigh as you closed your legs, squeezing them together as your body throbbed, he was right, and you were desperate, "why don't you go tell him how much you want it?"

You lick your chapped lips, throat bone dry as you're uncomfortably struggling to find words, "Eren," he flashes you a smile, 'she's falling apart with just me looking at her.'

"I can't tell him anything, and you better not either," you grit, eventually gaining some self-control, standing from your seat as he remains in his, "shouldn't we go? Everyone else is gone."

Eren stands, stepping over the bench as he takes a look around, the room was nearly empty, "Levi's gonna be mad at us, maybe he'll even punish you if you're lucky."

You shake your head, "just let me help you," you gaze up at him whilst the two of you follow behind your friends, "I can help you get what you want."

You pondered the offer, "yeah?"

He smiles, "of course," Eren tried to contain himself, even the idea of having you under him made his dick twitch under his belt.

"What do you have in mind?" you spoke, he hummed quietly, "wanna' get me in trouble?"

The tension between the two of you rose, holding your breath as you reached the empty field for sparring, he nodded his head, "of course I do."

You brainstormed, how to get attention from your Captain, but what you didn't know was Eren was already putting his plan into motion, already telling your friends what would land you right in his bed.

Hours later, the time dinner came around, the table was just like the ordinary, chatting and eating after a long day of activities; but unbeknownst to you, Eren was counting the seconds before the Captain would come storming into the room.

During the day, while you sparred with Jean, Eren found himself talking to Connie right in front of the men in charge- both Erwin and Levi listened in as Eren purposely filled Connie's ear with intentions you had. Vile thoughts, Levi and Erwin looking at each other, the Commander blown away, 'yeah, she said to me she wanted Captain to chain her up and everything, torture her, even,’

'Are you serious?' Eren nodded slyly.

‘That’s y/n for you, kinky, isnt she?’ crossing his arms.

'She is one freaky bastard- better not let Captain find out.'

But- to no avail, it was a little too late for that.

"Y/n,"

His voice split through the talkative room in an instant, voice booming as you quickly looked up, swallowing your food, "Eren, Y/n, my office- now."

Connie and Eren exchanged looks and you caught them, "what's that look for?"

"Don't worry about it lets just go."

Levi had already left the dining hall, you walked beside Eren, "what did you do, Eren?"

"Nothing." He defends, shrugging as you inched closer to the familiar wooden door.

Eren stopped in front of the door, he wasted no time, knuckles knocking on the old wood, "calm down, it's all fine."

Letting out a sigh, hearing his voice on the other side of the entrance, the two of you slipping past the doorframe and right into his office, he sat there, arms crossed in his chair, "do you have anything you'd like to say for yourself?"

Before you get the chance to speak, Eren perks up, "what do you mean, Captain?"

"Y/n?"

You choked, throat dry from the awkwardness in the room, "I'm confused on what you mean, sir." Levi scoffed, shaking his head. He was angry, nearly incensed as he watched you shuffle around, your eyes stuck on your feet.

The sound of his chair pushing backward sends shivers up your spine, he stands, "I don't know where to start with either of you."

"Tell him why you did it, y/n."

Your head practically spinning off your shoulders to face the man who stood beside you, "what do you mean, Jaeger?"

Your eyes bulging out of your head, squeezing your fists as you glared at Eren, "say it, cadet."

You looked at Levi in dismay, "I don't know what he's talking about, sir."

"I should've brought Connie in here too for listening to the bullshit you were spewing."

'Bullshit I was spewing?'

"All I was saying was what she told me, Cap."

"Yeah, apparently, y/n."

You meet eyes with your Captain as he's rounding his table, "you want it that bad?"

Avoiding his question, praying for him to step back, feeling weak from his intense glare, sending you into a nervous turmoil.

"Answer me."

You defended yourself, unable to give the boss an answer. Levi was mad, he was beyond humiliated at not only did Erwin hear your perverse ideas, but now big-mouth Connie. And he was fed up- once again- with your behavior.

He’s angrily stepping away from you and opening his bedroom door, "bring her, Jaeger."

Grabbing your wrist, Eren is nearly flinging you into the dimly lit bedroom, stumbling over your feet as the door is clicking shut. You rubbed your wrist, looking at Levi who stands before you, looking up at him.

His strong hands sitting you on the edge of his bed, his finger meeting under your chin and tilting your head up as you stared at him breathlessly, "you want things to be your way, right?"

You nodded, Eren standing next to your Captain, "things won't always go your way, cadet."

You gulped, the restriction growing under his grasp as he slid his hand down your neck, squeezing, "you're lucky I'm even doing this for you, you should be locked up."

Glancing at Eren, who's gradually unhooking his belt, "use this, Captain."

The leather belt being pulled from around Eren's waist and being placed in Levi's hand, he graciously seizes it and pushes you to get up, "lie down and be quiet, understood?"

Before reaching the other side of the bed, your captain is linking the material around your wrists behind your back and using his knee to push you on the bed, your body vulnerable as you can't catch your fall. Knees just barely hanging over the edge of the bed, someone's feet kicking your legs open.

"So I've been on your mind? because it sure seems it."

Digging your head into the sheets, you're nodding, "disgusting."

The weight of the bed plunges in front of your head, fingers entering your hair and pulling you up by the roots, "you think I'll be easy on you this time around?"

You shake your head, "no sir."

With Levi in front of you, Eren is using his foot to slip off your shoes, his hands crawling below your waist, blindly unbuttoning your jeans and tugging them down your thighs.

Pushing you onto your back, Levi is sliding off the bed and you're trying to blow your hair out of your face, Eren steps out of the Captains' way, Levi pushing your knees up and placing your feet on the bed, "you've been acting up again, misbehaving won't get you what you want, y/n."

"She probably wanted this to happen again."

You did, you prayed for it to happen again, but you didn't intend to be tied up, unable to do anything, "I didn't ask to be tied up, though," you muttered under your breath, pulling against the material.

Eren laughs, unbuttoning your blouse while your Captain pinned your legs against your stomach, squirming around under his tight grasp.

“You go around and tell everyone how desperate you are,” you feel his thumb slowly press against the sensitive nub concealed by only your thin underwear, “have you been thinking about us fucking you again, y/n?” calculatedly pushing his thumb up and down, applying more pressure while he keeps your leg in a firm grasp against your body.

“It’s disgusting, really.”

He knows you you hate to be teased, Levi knew if he had even given you a taste of what you begged for, you'd become greedy. Eren on the other hand was sadistic, he would tease and tease and tease, that's how he would get off.

You're caught up in the painstaking abuse of his thumb, not giving any thought to the question he had asked you. He stops, looking at you with a bitter glare, “didn't I ask you a question?” you whine, pressing your head deeper into the mattress.

“Yes, Captain- I've been thinking about you fucking me.”

He's gratified by your answer, knowing that the inquiry would humiliate you.

“Dirty- fuckin’ dirty.” He taunts, picking up where he left off. Levi stands beside his subordinate, Eren pressing your other leg up and finding his fingers hooking around the wet fabric, and trying to get a look at your cunt.

Eren moves out of the way, allowing Levi to push your body back farther, he lowers to his knees, leaning against the edge of the bed, “do you enjoy giving me a hard time?”

They never failed to get you under their complete control, your heart beating out of your chest whenever either of them gave you as little as a glance with their lust-filled eyes. It was so incredibly wrong, so immoral, but it was your guys’ thing, this was your little secret.

“You’ve always been such a troublesome girl.”

Weakly, you're shaking your head, trying to keep your breathing under control as his fingers are raking between your sopping folds, spreading them apart with his calloused index and middle finger, admiring your beautiful body. ‘God- if you weren't such a pest.’ Levi pushed those thoughts to the back of his head, you'd always be his little annoying flirt, nothing more- nothing less.

Though both Eren and Levi seemed to enjoy pleasuring you until numb, your captain knew he needed to instill some discipline, he couldn't let himself be seen as a push-over just because he couldn't stop thinking about how you squeezed his cock so perfectly.

The thought of his fingers being knuckle deep inside your pussy brought him close to reaching bliss in his jeans, you didn't even have to touch him.

Curving his fingers up into your tight, textured walls, feeling your heartbeat throb around his two fingers as he made sure to send shock waves throughout your body. The pad of his thumb rubbing deep and slow circles around your clit, each time he hit a nerve your legs twitching, he hit every spot.

Eren stood beside you, loosely pumping his cock in his fist, watching you squirm and cry out, trying to free yourself as your wrists were falling asleep from the weight of your body, “l-let me go, please.”

Levi and Eren dismissed your pleas, trying so desperately to close your legs from the strong thrusts of his fingers, the overstimulation making your back arch, sucking his fingers in for more, and more.

That coil tightening in your stomach was unmistakable, head spinning, moaning out blubbers of swears and incoherent words, “go on, cum.” They know how bad you've been waiting for this, both men knew it needed to happen again, it was sad seeing you feral like a dog looking for any sort of notoriety.

That's all you wanted to hear, selfishly pushing your quivering hips onto his fingers, he knew this would make you furious, Levi was ready to make your night hell.

All of it stopped. His digits pulling out of your clenching hole as he smirked, standing up onto his feet, pulling you farther and farther away from the peak of your climax.

Gasping like a fish out of water, lifting your head to see Levi on his feet, you sobbed, pain filling your body as you were so prepared, so close to releasing, “Captain,” crying, your foot shaking from the awful tension erected in your lower stomach, your pussy mindlessly twitching, trying to make up for lost touch.

He leans towards your face, gripping your jaw, slipping his slick-covered fingers down your tongue, “that's what happens when you aren't good, I'm sure you understand that, right?”

“Yes- sir.”

He pitties you, almost feeling bad for leaving you a mess in your tears and exertion, but Eren, on the other hand, loved it. “If you take good care of Eren, you might get what you want.”

Eren helps you up, keeping your wrists bound as he can now take advantage of your wet throat, “she knows how to take good care of us.” Eren praises, petting your head and peeling the stranded hairs out of your face, “you’ve always been so good to me.”

Levi scoffs, “besides when she's being a tease.”

Your captain unzips his pants, pushing them past his thighs.

Sitting on the bed and leaning his bare back against the bed frame, “come over here.”

Like a feeble idiot, you're bringing your body closer to his, he grabs you by your waist, lifting one leg and yanking you over his lap, Eren gets on the bed, his tip spilling precum, “you're gonna sit still while you help your friend out, yeah?”

Levi prepares his cock by stealing some of your slick and lubricating hmself with it, lifting your hips so he can ease you onto his cock.

Pushing yourself onto his hips only made him annoyed, “don't you dare,” you groan, he keeps you somewhat upright by keeping a hold on Erens belt.

Eren gripping the back of your head, directing your mouth onto his cock, your lips wrapping around his tip whilst looking in his pretty eyes, his thick eyebrows furrowed and twisted from the satisfaction your mouth is endowing his needy cock with.

Your tongue licking the bottom side of his cock as you pressed your throat until it was filled.

He just wants to hear you gag, messy face while your throat tightens around him, adjusting to his size.

Your pussy crying and burning from the lack of movement, your Captain torturing you, whining on Eren’s cock, hoping Levi would just move a little, although you knew better than to attempt anything.

Eren rocking his hips against your throat, spit spilling from your chin as he throat fucks you, Levi sees how good of a job you're doing, rutting his hips into your dripping cunt only once to keep you going- cueing you to hurry and swallow Erens load so you can convince them to fuck you.

Pulling out of your throat, strings of spit connecting to his cock as he stops himself from releasing down your throat.

Levi’s pleased with you, so he wants to reward you, ‘she’s suffered enough,’ he says to himself, fucking you on his cock just how you like it. Letting out whimpers of relief; by the time your Captain had decided to fuck you, the base of his cock had already been soaking from your slick trickling down and onto his pubic bone. Erens hand palming your perky tits, watching them bounce at the hands of you riding him.

Reversing on Levi’s cock meant Eren could see your pretty little face twist up, your mouth stuck open as you looked at the man in front of you, you were so precious- if anything- you deserved him, you deserved his affection, and he wanted to give it to you.

“Cap’ gonna cum,” you're body trying to curl up in a ball as he holds you from plunging forward, the movement of your hips bouncing back and forth on him, your ass slapping on his cock, the sound of skin loud, which he used as encouragement to plant his seed in you. Such a vicious noise as Levi keeps you still, rutting his hips into yours as he's pulling your head back by a handful of your hair. Your body left with shockwaves as he fucks any sort of knowledge, words, and sounds out of you; you're silent, mouth ajar as you're eventually worthy enough to reach your high.

Your head spinning, eyes being surrounded by a warm white as you're clenching around him to suck him in deeper, your holes twitching as you're frozen still from the orgasm erupting from your body.

Levi grunting as he fills you up with his load, thrusting his hips into you to plant his seed as deep as possible into your beaten little cunt.

“That's right, so pretty- I bet that felt good, didn't it?”

“It did- ‘need more, Eren.”

Eren smirks, face glowing with pride, so vulnerable you were, a girl with needs- his girl, and he had all the antidotes for your selfish little troubles. You were always so willing, truly, you were the perfect participant.

“I think I should untie her, what do you think?”

“Go on and do it, I think she deserves it.” a sigh of relief leaving your lungs as you're set free, rubbing your raw wrists while Eren is easing you on your back, his hands caressing every inch of your sore body, gently squeezing when he gets a good handful of your soft flesh. Up your thighs, under, your perfect waist and sides, he wanted it all-and he wanted you at his disposal.

And thankfully, you wanted them all to yourself too.

Eren knew he wouldn't last long, he's been waiting too long for you, so he doesn't spare any seconds, kneading your tits; giving each of them the right amount of attention, rolling your nipple between his fingers, lightly tugging as he's pushing past your little hole, “filled with so much cum already, you like bein’ a cocksleeve? You like being stuffed, huh?”

Nodding, “yes- I love it s’much, love it!”

Levi holds your wrists above your head.

Eyes rolling back, Erens cock drilling into you, your body shaking as he tears another orgasm out of you, you cried and screamed, Levi inserting his two fingers down your throat to shut you up as Hanges room was no more than ten feet away.

You loved it, you loved it so much- you loved being the center of their attention, you adored being their little ragdoll, how they could fuck you into oblivion so mercilessly, yet make sure you get your fix.

His cock knocking into you, hitting your cervix, which sent moans flying out of your throat, gripping his wrist tightly while he held your thigh up around his waist.

You deemed it your job to please them, to take care of them, and they felt the same- it was the implicit rule of this situationship.

Erens trying to instill as much self-control as he can bear to keep, but it's merely no use, he’s slipping, and fast. His cock constantly slamming into your nerves sent you into a spiral, every thrust fucked your eyes to the back of your head, “fuckin’ you stupid huh- I missed this tight cunt.” Eren spits, the sweat from his body dripping onto your sticky body as your pussy goes numb.

“I love your cock- love it s’much Eren,” your beautiful voice could alone bring both men to climax, he uses it as motivation to cum deep into your pussy. Levi wiped the drool from the side of your lip, along with your tears as he watched you.

Eren pulled out, light moans as he shivered, spilling his seed on your stomach, a mantra of your name falling from his tongue as he tried to regain control.

With you left fucked out on the bed as they got dressed, almost like a routine- you're left struggling to put your clothes on as Levi is trying to rush the two of you out of his room so he can strip his sheets.

“Don't get caught.” He's warning, seeing the two of you out, you're practically trudging through the corridors with Eren at your side as you feel more of a mixture of your cum soak through your underwear and legs, your jeans getting damp with each step you took.

Right as you neared the bedroom door, thankful to be able to strip yourself of your clothing in only a few minutes, Eren ensures you get to your room safely, but no one is that lucky- are they?

“Whatcha’ guys up to?”

Before catching a glimpse of your face, you're gasping and looking away, Eren turning around to see Connie and Jean, “busy?”

Eren laughs, casually speaking, “does it look like it?” he looks more or less as disheveled as you did, his hair falling from the hair tie, while you looked a mess.

“She looks like she just got hit by a bus.”

Your body barreling over in embarrassment, you find it hard to look at them, Jeans’ eyes doubling in size as he sees the unfamiliar piece of fabric in your hand.

“Is that- your bra?”

[starvine]

first date headcanons

attack on titan (modern au)

summary: some first date headcanons with some of the attack on titan characters. 

warnings: none, just fluff :)

eren jaeger: movie 

a little basic but it’s all eren could come up with

besides, it was between a movie and dinner and dinner felt too formal so y’all decided on a movie

he’d let you pick the movie tho

he might argue with you if it’s something stupid and claim that it’s horribly written (as if he knows a thing) but that’s it

eren would make sure to get the BEST snacks. spicy food? check. candy? check. popcorn? check. fruits? check.

he just wants to impress you (even if he did have to confide in his friends for some advice)

he just really likes you

during the movie, you guys would start shifting closer to each other, both a little too timid to move all the way all at once

but you guys would make commentary throughout the movie, laughing when things seem too cliché or when a character says something funny

half way throughout the movie, you guys aren’t even really paying attention it it

you’re too busy throwing popcorn at each other and trying to catch it in your mouths, feeding each other candy, and giggling at each other

it’s intimate in its own relaxed way, which makes eren realize how perfect you are

you both could make the most out of a pretty average first date situation and make it into a beyond amazing first date

and that was all he needed to ask you on a second date before he dropped you off at your car, walking with you to make sure you got there safely

and ngl you’d be a bit of a fool to say no to eren

armin arlert: aquarium 

sweetheart is so nervous 

before he came to your apartment to pick you up for your date, he was a little nervous wreck 

he was fidgeting with his fingers, playing with the buttons on his shirt--he probably accidentally opened one by accident 

but once he saw you, he felt fine 

it was as if he physically melted, you just make everything okay 

once you guys got to the aquarium, he would NOT shut up

he was probably pointing things out, telling you fun facts, asking you what is your favorite marine life 

“oh, you like pufferfish? that’s cool! i like them too. they’re very... puffy.” 

he’s like a child in a candy store 

but while he’s rambling about how the digestive system of a sea cucumber basically cleans the ocean, he’s wondering how he should make a move 

he doesn’t want to scare you off or anything, but he doesn’t want you to be disappointed 

but while you guys are looking at one of those large fish tanks, the ones where you walk through a tunnel, you guys just sort of stand there and watch in awe

or rather armin watches in awe while you look at him, a soft smile gracing his pink lips as his eyes dart across the illustriously blue colored glass

and when he feels your pinky latch onto his, he’s a little shocked that you had made the first move

he didn’t not expect it per say, he just thought that he would be the one to make the first move 

but his overthinking got in the way

and when he turns to look down at your intertwined pinkies, he caught you sending him a delicate smile that made his heart squeeze until he felt as if every part of him was on fire

but it was him who finally held your hand fully 

he just needed you to give him the extra push

mikasa ackerman: book store 

it’s a very calming atmosphere, which is something you’d both need for this first date

mikasa is probably pretty anxious for the first date, and wants to make sure you’re okay and enjoying yourself while also making sure she’s okay and enjoying herself

so the calming scent of the book store and the quietness is perfect for her to multitask between mediating the two

you’d both be tasked with picking each other books and then buying them for each other

so initially mikasa was nervous because she wasn’t sure what to get you but then you asked what she liked to read and so that allowed her to ask the same, making the situation less stressful

and all while you two are walking from isle to isle, eyes scanning the various book titles and covers, she sneaks glances at you and how pretty you look

and the fact that you seem very deep in thought, heavily concentrated on getting her the right book, makes her feel less concerned on whether or not you’d rather be with her or not

the answer is obviously a yes but mikasa has a hard time understanding that sometimes

so when you give her the book you bought for her, making sure to lightly touch her fingers while you hand it to her, she already knows that another date is what she wants you both to have or else she’ll probably explode

and based off of how flushed she looks, the possibility of her exploding is not highly unlikely

you guys will sit at this little table in the corner of the store, reading your books

i can picture mikasa annotating certain lines that remind her of you, making mental notes to show you later

overall, the date is pretty lowkey and very sweet

connie springer: dave + busters/bowling

ok there’s not much of an explanation for this one besides the point that if feels right

like connie is pretty energetic and i feel like you can learn a lot about a person based off of the games they’re drawn to 

hence the arcade

i think connie really likes those racing games or the zombie shooting games

he also claims he’s really good at ski ball (he’s not, he’s trash)

so a good portion of the date consists of you just laughing at him the whole time cuz in all honestly he’s not the best at games but he enjoys them for the fun of them

he’d definitely cheer you on when you were playing or try to mess you up if it was you two against each other

but either way he’d give you a hug or a pat on the head after every game

even if u beat him

he’d probably try to sneak a kiss when you guys were in one of those shooting games that requires a booth and the curtains drawn (does that make sense?)

it’s not really romantic like at all, especially since it smells like a million different people in there, but it’s very low stress so in all honesty that’s what makes the kiss nice

and after you guys had used up all your tokens, you’d combine your tickets and pick something together

your prizes would mostly consist of candy and him insisting he get you a plastic gem ring so you can always remember your first date together

it was also his little, strange way of asking you for a second date

levi ackerman: art museum 

unlike connie, he’s not super energetic

so a museum is right up his alley

levi’s a bit awkward, he doesn’t really know how to talk to you

and especially since you’re lovely, his words jumble together and he gets all flustered

so a nice, quiet museum exhibit is perfect for him

it’s a nice balance between casual and formal, so you both dress nice but aren’t restricted by the need to be super polite and stuff

he’d probably like it when you try to imitate the poses that are shown in the paintings or sculptures

just imagine the soft chuckle he’d be unable to prevent from escaping his lips which then melts into a soft smirk

beautiful, beautiful lad

he probably wouldn’t join you though, he doesn’t want to embarrass himself

he just smiles at you and stares at the art, reading the background info they give on those little plates near them

but he would notice when you stare at him

he could be looking at some art made during the dutch golden age, but as soon as your head slightly tilted in his direction, his cheeks would HEAT up

you almost asked him if he was feeling alright he was so red

but as the date went on, levi really just thought about how much he enjoyed your presence

and he’s not a wicked talkative guy so being able to feel comfortable with someone even if you aren’t talking or doing much is pretty important to him

as the date concludes, levi finally works up the courage to place his hand on your shoulder, asking if there was anything else you wanted to see before the museum closes for the day

his face might be bright red, but the smile you give him makes him feel a little less embarrassed

what can you say, you’ve got charm 💅

hange: the fucking zoo

ok i won’t lie when i got the idea of hange taking you to the zoo for your first date i thought it was so funny and idk why

like they’d be so excited that they’d nearly forget that they’re on a date with you

they’d drag you around from exhibit to exhibit, pointing out the exact breed of tortoise or some really strange fact about the zebras without looking at the little description panel in front of the exhibit

it’s pretty comical

but then randomly, when you guys are sitting down and eating some fries from one of the concession stands, they start going on a rant about animal cruelty and how a lot of zoos don’t treat the animals properly

and you’re just sitting there like “what 🧍‍♀️” cuz they’re mood changed so quickly LMAO

and as soon as their rant started, it finishes and they’re rushing you to the reptile exhibit

they’d probably try to figure out if they could hold one of the snakes

you’d have to drag them out of there before they start harassing one of the workers into letting them hold a snake

they’d also give all of the animals names only to forget them in 2 seconds

“hey, robert, it’s good to see you again!” “hange, i thought you named them dante?” “oh... did i? 😁”

however there’s probably like one animal they absolutely despise and idk why but i feel like it’s parrots

y’all would be walking through this rainforest exhibit, birds flying from tree to tree and the whole time they’re cursing the birds under their breath for no reason at all

just an angry person walking through a rainforest exhibit, cursing out birds

pretty normal if you ask me

however, the date itself is pretty casual and almost feels like you guys are just hanging out

or it would if they didn’t ask you out on another date before dropping you off at home, kissing your cheek as their farewell

pieck finger: café

very simple and quaint

i feel like pieck has a coffee addiction and always puts her in a better mood

so what better place to go on a date then a café?

she’s definitely an iced coffee drinker, and will occasionally go for a hot drink but usually iced coffee is her go-to

and if you get a coffee or tea that she also happens to like, you’re already practically golden in her eyes

since pieck has a very soothing and lowkey nature, i can see the date being much more just like a conversation with someone you’ve known for forever instead of interview-y which is something i’ve found coffee/lunch/dinner dates to be a bit like

but pieck knows how to keep things interesting and she’s a pretty calming person to be around so all is well

i also can’t see her getting super nervous before the date

she seems pretty calm unless in high-stress situations, but even then, she’s pretty level-headed

but since she’s so calm, it makes you wonder if she really cares for the date

and of COURSE she does, she’s so excited about it

it’s just the way pieck is

but as the date continues, she’d probably start to tease you by playing footsies under the table

you gotta keep the date interesting, you know?

you guys would talk about your interests, family, friends, shows you’re watching

literally just anything and everything that’ll allow you guys to get a feel for each other

and if all goes well she’ll definitely suggest another date ;)

also don’t expect to leave without her either writing something cute on your cup, pressing a lip-stick stained kiss to your cheek that matches the one surrounding the rim of her cup, or a promise that your game of footsies will continue next time you see each other

[thesunshinebunny]

When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part I)

Series Master list

Pairing: Canon Eren Jaeger x reader

Content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

Summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter Summary: After watching their teammates die in battle, reader begins to question their sanity and of their so-called partner.

AN: let me say goodbye to my favorite girl, who got me the best laughs and relieved my anxiety while reading manga chapters. At the same time, let me succumb to the misery and enlarge the wound with an canon Eren. I won’t be against following this fic if I see that a lot of people like it, but my list of fandoms isn’t going to change, this will be a unique exception.

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The chill in the air from the airship rushed through my veins. Less than two hours ago, I had seen countless comrades die, each one of them struck by bullets in different parts of their bodys or eaten by a Titan. I had seen countless lives fall and had been unable to save any. I knew we were going on a suicide mission, but deep down inside of me, I hoped we would all come home alive.

I was very naïve to think of a happy ending in this rotten and violent world.

Inside the room I was in, my mind wandered looking through one of the few windows this war machine gave us. I wasn't paying attention to what Levi or Eren were saying, I didn't even have the slightest intention of asking why Zeke was with us. Although being a member of the Survey Corps and a direct and in training medic, I was not fully informed of the missions. Eren’s courtesy.

Bored and mentally tired, I left the room where my leaders were having a heated discussion with "humanity's last hope." I didn't have the strength to add more charcoal to the fire, but trust me when I tell you I wasn’t at all happy with Eren's plan, simply and exclusively because I was completely unaware.

I walked down the hall making a mental note to kick the brunette in the face like Levi did when we got back. If my so-called partner, who had the decency to slowly push me away over the last year without explanation, wasn’t confident enough to tell me whatever was going on in his mind, then we would be in front of the doors of a serious conversation back home.

I opened the door where the scouts were when I heard a rifle go off. My eyes went wide and fear washed over me. I instantly scanned my body for wounds, completely ignoring the situation happening in front of me. Finding no sign of impact, I looked up only to find Sasha falling on her back, with a bullet impact on her chest.

The world seemed to have frozen as did my body. No one was able to move. Blood was spreading around Sasha's body, staining the floor, and that's when I reacted. My body moved on its own, pulling the cloak off my shoulders and folding it to make a small pillow. My ears didn’t catch any screams or cries from my teammates, as if I was underwater and the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat accelerating, threatening to come out of my ears.

"I need a syringe with anesthesia, a pair of tweezers, a needle, a lighter, bandages and hot water, NOW !!"

No one was moving, everyone was in shock, including me, but I was layered enough to know that if we didn't do something, Sasha wasn't going to survive.

"Jean, Connie, I need surgical elementes! NOW!!"

The two boys came out of it, running around the room, even going to the continuous, looking for something that might serve, while I tore Sasha's shirt and took her equipment. Mikasa was next to me grabbing the pieces that were in the way.

"Mikasa, I need you to put pressure on the wound and don’t move your hands"

Connie came running back with the anesthesia in hand, trying to give it to me, but me failing. The syringe fell to the floor, but thanks to whatever deity was watching us it didn't break. My hands were shaking with adrenaline, making it impossible for me to inject the needle into the glass vial.

“Sasha… I need you to stay awake, ok? I need you to keep your eyes open at all time"

The dying girl in front of me didn't give me an answer, but I knew she heard me. In the background, I could hear the desperate cries of the others, apart from the fact that someone had hit the culprit in the face. I injected the anesthesia and proceeded to remove the bullet from the lung. Mikasa reapplied pressure with wet cloths.

"Sasha everything will be fine, I assure you, everything will be fine, so don't you dare die on me, okay?"

I couldn't tell who I was addressing those words to, the girl who gave us the best laughs in our training days, or me.

Lighter in hand I proceeded to cauterize the wound, but my eyes fell on Sasha's, noticing how the life had left her eyes. The light that was so bright in her pupils had faded, leaving nothing more than an empty countenance.

"Sasha?...Sasha? hey, this isn’t funny, Sasha wake up…Sasha?? SASHA?!!?!" ...

"SASHA!!!"

Again.

Again I’d been unable to do anything.

Again I’d to see how I was unable to save someone.

Again.

I had seen a mate die. Again.

My chest contracted, the air was impossible to get in or out and my lungs cried out to explode. My stomach wanted to regurgitate, but there was nothing in it, causing me to spasm. My vocal cords were damaged from screaming and my head was about to collapse.

My whole body was about to collapse.

"How dare you!? You son of a bitch, how dare you to shoot the person who forgave your life?"

My anger was now directed at the child they had wanted to bring with us. It was impossible for me to look at her without having the desire to break her face, to make her suffer ... to kill her. To take revenge for Sasha.

“SHE FORGAVE YOUR LIFE BY NOT GIVING YOU A SHOT IN THE HEAD AND IS THAT HOW YOU PAY HER? YOU HATE US SO MUCH? HOW MANY MORE LIVES DO YOU WANT TO TAKE FOR US TO BE SATISFIED?"

My legs got up, leading me towards the girl, but arms held me from behind, preventing me from continue walking, preventing me from taking revenge.

"HOW DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU? YOU ARE THE REAL DEVILS"

In the end, my body collapsed, completely loosening and causing me to almost slide down Connie's arms. I fell to my knees when he released me, snuggling up and hiding my head in my arms. Tears flowed like waterfalls with no intention of stopping and my screams reverberated across the metal in the room.

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Connie opened the door where our commanders were still arguing. Both with tears in our eyes gave the worst news of the night.

"Sasha died"

Jean and Hange's faces were disfigured and Levi hid his grim outline from us. The room was silent, but all that could be heard were my sobs, spasm after spasm.

"She had a ... a bullet impact ... in ... in the chest ..."

It was difficult, almost impossible, for me to relate the precarious medical report of our friend's death, trying to help me with the movement of my hands ... but even so the spasms won me over. I fell back to the floor, tears invaded my face once more and my ability to articulate words was gone down the drain.

Hange approached with a slow step and placed their hands on my shoulders, giving me the help I needed to give the report. I took several minutes of deep breaths and when my lungs returned to normal, I spoke again.

"Sasha had a bullet impact on the chest, on the left lung ... There was no exit, so the bullet was stuck in there...it pierced two ribs, tearing the skin of the lung and causing internal bleeding... I managd to remove the bullet, but I didn't have time to cauterize and sew the wound ... she bled to death"

Every pause I took to breathe made it so much worse for me to speak back. If it weren't for the fact I was undoubtedly taking deep breaths, I would have passed out from distress and hyperventilation.

"I could have saved her ... I know I could have saved her"

Silence reigned over the room, sobs from Hange and Connie could be heard if we were paying close attention. Jean and Levi glared at Eren, who had not deigned to lift his head at any time.

I got up as best I could, running Hange's hands gently, and left the room once again. I needed to be alone for a while, I needed to let go of these horrible feelings, I needed some air, otherwise I doubted I’d do anything rational in the state I was in.

My legs led me to a room away from all the common ones. It was empty, but it had a couple of windows that chilled the already cold metal walls. Some windows were at my height, allowing me to appreciate the view from the air, but let's face it, it was impossible to appreciate the landscape when your mind and heart were breaking to pieces. The only thing that kept my mind intact from any collapse was the path of smoke and fire that could be seen in the distance... signs that Marley was still on fire.

"Are you ok?"

That familiar voice, all too familiar, echoed in my ears pulling me out of my entrance. Eren had entered the room quietly with the aim of… what? See if it was okay? Because I really wasn't, it showed on my face and that's what made me even more angry than I was.

"Oh, I don't know? Am I ok? Do I FUCKING LOOK OK TO YOU?"

I turned from the window too quickly causing me to stagger and fall to the floor. My head was spinning and starting to ache as was every muscle in my body. I put my hands to my head, hoping the pain would dissipate a bit, but the only thing I managed was to sink further into misery.

"I could have saved her ... if I’d been faster ... I know I could have saved her"

He hadn't moved from where he was, he just stayed there, looking at me. My blood-soaked eyes looked him up and down searching for something, whatever, to speak of, but all I found were non-glare eyes and a neutral gaze, as if he hadn't cared how many lives this mission had claimed.

"Do you want to know how I feel? Fine, I’ll tell you"

I stood up heavily, my muscles begging for a break. I turned my head to see the black smoke rising on the horizon, still clearly noticing an orange and red flare.

“I am tired…I am full of rage and hate. I saw our comrades die and I couldn't do anything, I was unable to save them ... to save Sasha...and all because of not having been informed like everyone else"

My eyes hadn't left the window because I knew, if I looked into those dull turquoise eyes, those same eyes that once shone with all the innocence and life that a young man could have, I would end up punching him.

"Are you happy? Did you accomplished your mission now that you have the power of the warhammer titan? What will be the next step? Go back to Marley in a few months, finish what you started and devour the jaw titan and Reiner? Assassinate the cart titan?”

Again, I got no response. My patience had already reached it’s limit and I looked back at the man who was now standing in the middle of the room.

"You're not going to tell me, are you? No, you never say anything to me, it's like I'm a burden to you" I shuffled on the metal, standing right in front of him "I'm with so much anger in my veins that I want to kill a child, a child Eren! ... A child who had her head washed all her life, a child who doesn’t know the whole truth and who only knows that by killing she can be free"

Unconsciously, my body moved everywhere, as if it wanted to release all the pressure by tiring the muscles. I stood back in front of the window and with all the accumulated anger I gave it a strong blow, slightly scratching the glass and probably breaking some knuckles.

"Sasha died because of my incompetence and the violence of this world...I want to save lives Eren, that's why I'm practicing medicine...I want to dedicate myself to saving souls, not killing them...and we have the culprit stuck in one of our rooms...why?" ...

“WHY DO WE HAVE TWO CHILDS ON OUR AIRPLANE? WHY IS YOUR BROTHER WITH US? WHY DON'T YOU LET ME KNOW WHAT IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD?"

I was sure that my screams could be heard by our entire war machine. I was impatient for answers, but knew I wasn't going to get any, at least not now. My hands didn’t remain calm, they moved everywhere, a sign of my anxiety and my eyes turned around the entire room, looking at each screw, each metal beam... everything except the eyes of my supposed lover.

I was giving up, now I just wanted to rest and have a trip home in peace, even knowing that home was not going to sound the same or feel the same.

"If you have nothing to say Eren, you better leave"

I turned my back on him but didn't proceed to walk away from him. I needed to find an anchor point so as not to give up and throw myself into the arms that one day gave me warmth, the arms that wrapped me in the dark, the arms that reflected their love and affection ... into the arms that now wouldn't hold me from the waist or draw me to his chest. I wasn't going to throw me into some arms that weren't going to contain me.

I heard him take a few small steps towards me and his hand rested lightly on my shoulder. I put it aside abruptly and I distanced myself towards the remote window, seeing how little by little the smoke was getting smaller and I could no longer see the orange flame clearly; now I could only see a thin yellow line fading.

"Leave Eren"

His footsteps rumbled on the metal floor, leaving me alone once and for all.

The trip back was going to be a long one and, to be honest, I wasn't sure if there was anything for me in our home. Nothing was going to be the same anymore. Without Sasha, without Eren and with a war on our feet I doubted to even call “home” a piece of wet land in the middle of an ocean which is still the target of a world full of hate.

[bruhstories]

Baby, I’ve Already got Your Heart

Summary: An accidental meeting between Armin and Y/N leads to an unhealthy obsession. Pairing: Armin Arlert x Fem!Reader (modern AU) Warnings: stalking, language, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), oral sex (female receiving), switch!Reader, switch!Armin, rope is involved. Word Count: 2.5 k

A/N: This fic is heavily inspired by this song. It is surprisingly wholesome, considering the tags xD

Armin Arlert. The purest man in the world. You accidentally met him one cold, rainy day when he entered your coffee shop for shelter and warmth. He naively talked to you, grateful for how nice you were with him, grateful for the cappuccino on the house, grateful for the towel you offered him to dry himself off. Little did Armin know, a fixation sprouted in your mind and heart, developing into the unhealthiest obsession. He was just so cute — and you just had to have him. It helped to know that you were both going to the same university, and after that, you knew everything about him: his Facebook, Instagram, email address, hell, you even knew his real address. To be fair, it was a piece of cake, the boy was absolutely clueless and whenever he 'accidentally' met you, he thought it was by pure chance. The next and most obvious step was to befriend people in his social circle, one Jean Kirstein, one Sasha Braus and one Connie Springer. Naturally, you did your homework, and you knew his best friends were Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman, but they weren't easy targets. Besides, it would jeopardise your entire plan, as you found Armin was considered a genius. An oblivious genius. He didn't know it yet, but you loved him and he loved you too, right?

A text from Sasha, months after you first met the angelic man, set your plan in motion. A casual gaming night at Armin's place, and you were invited. How perfect. Poor glutton Sasha had no fucking clue how much you were using her, how you told her you want to meet a cute guy, someone nice and caring, someone smart and attentive. The girl put two and two together and decided she just had to introduce you to one of her friends, especially that he was also interested in meeting a girl like you. Unbelievable — you acted surprised, met up with Sasha and left for Armin's little gaming night. You wouldn't let this opportunity go to waste. Starting from tonight, he'd be yours. Forever.

"Armiiiiiiiiin, I brought a plus one!" Sasha barged into his house. "This is my friend, Y/N. Y/N, Armin! Oh shit, pretzels!" The brown-haired woman left the two of you in the hallway and the blond flashed you a smile.

"I feel like I've seen you before." He mused as he closed the door behind you.

"If you ever drink coffee at Rose's you might've seen me there." You smiled and removed your leather jacket, revealing a Pearl Jam t-shirt.

"No way you listen to them!" Armin blurted.

"Are you kidding me? They're my favourite!" You lied through your teeth with a sickly-sweet smile.

"Mine too! Oh, I know, you're the girl who gave me a free cappuccino months ago!"

"I remember! You were drenched in rainwater." You laughed as the two of you entered the living room. "I had to mop up the puddles you left behind."

"I'm so sorry about that..." He blushed. Your heart fluttered and you couldn't wait to get your hands on him, but for the time being, you needed to behave.

"No worries, I just hope you didn't catch a cold." You assured Armin and sympathetically placed a hand on his shoulder. There he goes, blushing again. It couldn't be... was he a virgin? Fuck. This was better than you could've imagined.

"Who's this?"

"Oh, Mikasa, Eren, this is Y/N. She's friends with Sasha."

"Nice to meet you!" Eren shook your hand. "Oh, God, you listen to Pearl Jam, too? You nerds are going to get along just fine." He joked.

The night went great, and you actually had fun with Armin and his friends, despite not intending to mingle with them too much. People started leaving around 2 am, but Eren and Mikasa stayed longer. Too fucking long — and things were boring now anyway. You and Armin kept talking about video games and books, Mikasa fell asleep on Eren who was playing fucking Farmville on his phone. They had to leave as soon as possible.

"Hey, Y/N, we can take you home." Eren suggested and you froze. Shit.

"Didn't you say you're almost out of gas?" Armin questioned his friend.

"Ah, fuck, you're right. I still don't know how that happened — I fuelled the tank yesterday!" The brunette scoffed. "Guess you're on your own, Y/N."

"It's alright, I'll take an uber." You politely smiled.

"Alright, we'll wait for you."

Oh, for fuck's sake. Truth be told, you appreciated how nice and caring Armin's friends were, but you had a different goal to accomplish.

"You really don't have to, plus I have to use the bathroom." You excused yourself. "Um, where is the bathroom exactly?"

"Upstairs, first door on the right." Armin told you while gathering plates and cups from the table. You nodded and climbed up the stairs. Your hand hovered over the bathroom doorknob for a good minute, eyes drifting to the door next to it. Armin's bedroom, by the looks of it. Surely, you could take a look, right? Fuck it. You opened the second door and at first glance, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. LED and fairy lights encircled a corner of his room and, curiously, you walked closer to see what that was, because it didn't look like a desk. Your Y/E/C widened when you saw tens of framed photographs of yourself on the square table, objects you thought you lost and — Jesus, was that your bra? A rush of anxiety hit you, but before you could do anything, a blow to your head blurred your vision.

•°☆°•☆•°☆°•

Dark lashes fluttered as you opened your eyes. The sudden realisation that you were naked and restrained to a bed made you jolt. What just happened?

"Fucking finally, I thought you'd never wake up." Armin greeted you, but his voice was different, deeper and darker.

"Ar-ugh, Armin?" You groaned at the stinging sensation at the back of your head.

"You know, I was relieved you didn't leave with Sasha, otherwise you would've slipped between my fingers again."

Again?

"Ugh, and Eren and his stupid idea. 'We'll take you home.'" He mocked his best friend with a high pitch. "I've been dreaming for this moment since I walked into that shitty coffee shop."

You were at a loss for words. This was not the Armin you fantasised about, not the Armin you wanted. He was much more and much worse. And. So. Much. Better.

Alright then, you'd put up a show for him.

"P-please, Armin, please untie m-me! I'll be good, I p-promise!" You stuttered and whimpered, trying your best to sound genuine.

"Why, so you can run away?" The blond scoffed. So, he didn't know you stalked him. What a twist.

"I won't r-run, I swear!"

"Bullshit." Armin bent over your body, hands around your neck. You gasped and pretended to be startled by his touch, but in reality, your core was already burning with lust. You knew you couldn't keep up with this charade. "No, Y/N, I won't untie you. But we'll have so much fun." He sneered.

"You promise?"

"Yes. Wait—"

Your laughter filled the bedroom, genuine laughter that baffled Armin. Was this some sort of reverse psychology trick?

"Oh, Armin, even when you reveal your true colours, you're still oblivious to the reality of what's in front of you."

"Then enlighten me, what am I so oblivious to?" He folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"The fact that this was my fucking plan, too." You stretched as much as your restraints allowed you to and licked your lips. "I guess we both stalked each other without even knowing. How ridiculous."

"I think I would've known if you stalked me, Y/N."

"Really? Let me prove it, then. Your favourite food's Carbonara pasta, your favourite drink is peach and lychee iced tea, favourite movie is Interstellar, you lived on Sheena street until you were 12–"

"That's common knowledge, Sasha could've told you any of that." Armin blurted, growing impatient.

"You watch BDSM and asphyxiation porn between 10 pm and 11 pm every Tuesday, you're a virgin, you own a fleshlight–"

"Fuck, alright!" He threw his hands in the air, defeated. "So, what next?"

"You untie me and you tear me apart, Armin, that's what's next."

The blond hesitated before removing the cuffs on your ankles, still unsure about the ropes around your wrists. Clearly, you weren't making things up, but what were the chances of both of you stalking each other? For a brief moment, Armin felt guilty for hitting you and practically holding you captive, and you could see that on his face, but obsession and desire soon took over, and he reverted back to his darker self. His soft hands moved from your ankles to your knees, up your thighs and stomach, stopping above your chest, deciding it's best if you're not fully free. Armin licked his lips and climbed on top of you, unbuttoning his flannel shirt. You thought was surprisingly strong for such a thin man, but when the unbuttoned shirt revealed his chiselled abdomen, it made sense why he was strong.

"The wrists, Armin." You insisted but the blond clicked his tongue.

"I like you better when you're helpless." He pressed his lips onto yours in a hot kiss. A great kiss, you thought, your tongues wrestling for supremacy.

"Please, I want to touch you! I need to..." You trailed off, intoxicated by his smell, notes of saffron and cardamom. His hands roamed your shoulders, tickling your axilla and groping your breasts. "Please let me touch you, Armin!" You begged again, but he didn't say a word, his hot breath fanning over your oversensitive nipples, goosebumps all over your skin. His pink tongue poked out of his mouth and you watched him painstakingly slowly lick one of your nipples. It literally pained you to be unable to touch him, pull him closer to you. Alas, you had no choice, and despite yearning to be in control, it aroused you to have him control you.

"You smell so sweet." He abruptly stopped. "I bet you taste sweet, too."

"Armin..." His words made you brace yourself. While you weren't a virgin, you've never had anyone eat you out. The blond was already in between your legs, one hand resting under your thigh, the other gently touching your slick folds. Armin was so careful, like you were made of glass, and the ticklish sensation didn't help you at all. You wanted him to ram his cock inside of you and rearrange your guts, but he wanted to take his sweet time. The teasing only made you dizzy with pleasure, and you bucked your hips, trying to get him to move faster.

"You really need to learn to be patient, Y/N." Armin purred, pressing gentle kisses on your thighs. He lazily dragged his tongue across your slit, electricity shooting through your body. God, how you wanted to rip those ropes apart. Two fingers entered you and the blond gingerly licked your clit.  

"Fuck– so... so good ah–" You couldn't form a sentence even if your life counted on it. Gradually, you could feel your orgasm building up and Armin sensed it, picking up the pace. His fingers thrusted harder and you arched your back, the intensity too much for you. "Armin, please! I wanna come with your cock in me!" The begging didn't stop him, he was determined to make you finish then and there. And he did — within seconds you melted under his touch, legs trembling with pleasure. Armin pulled back, his mouth messy with saliva mixed with your juices.

"You come when I want you to come." His voice was low, almost like a growl. He unbuttoned his jeans, and you watched him like a hawk, waiting to see just how big his was, and you were not disappointed.

"Please please please let me suck it, please!" You begged him, eager to taste him. He smirked and kissed you, all the while rubbing his cock.

"You want this?" Armin quirked a brow at you. The little shit, jacking off in front of you and you couldn't even do anything about it.

"Armin..."

"Say it. Say you want it."

"Armin!"

"Say it, Y/N." He groaned, precum leaking from his member. Fuck.

"I... I want it..." You eventually gave up.

"Good girl." The blond climbed back on top of you. He raised your hips and you placed your legs on his shoulder, his first thrust slow and deep. Armin couldn't help the moan escaping his lips — this was so much better than that shitty fleshlight and countless porn videos. You couldn't deny the fact that it hurt, despite your soaking cunt, but you quickly adjusted to his size. As Armin pounded you, the bed underneath the two of you started moving and screeching, and the ropes tied to the metal bedframe loosened and you felt your arms fall onto the pillows. In his frenzy, the blond didn't notice, so you took this opportunity to lower your legs and wrap them around his waist, one hand grabbing his soft locks, the other wrapping around his neck. You used his weight against him and turned him over. You were in control.

Armin was taken aback by this, but the feeling of your fingers squeezing his throat only turned him on more. You bounced up and down, throwing your head back and groaning. He gripped your hips tightly, thrusting his own hips against yours.

"F-fuck me harder, Y/N!" He begged and you sped up. You felt like a queen — no, a goddess — when he asked you to fuck him, the feeling of him inside of you so addictive. He was your drug, and your rehab, your poison, and your antidote. And you were his and his only. His cock was twitching in your cunt and knew he was close but you didn't want to risk it. Swiftly, you got off of him and wrapped your lips around his dick, bobbing your head up and down. It didn't take long for him to finish, hot liquid shooting down your throat with one final grunt. You swallowed it all and threw yourself next to him. It was breaking dawn already, but you weren't tired. Physically, yes, both of you were exhausted, but mentally it felt like you discovered a hidden gem.

"What the fuck did we just do?" Armin calmly caressed your hair as you nuzzled his neck.

"Are we talking about the obsessively stalking each other part or the part where you hit me in the head? Or the fucking?"

"The everything." He explained. "This is wrong."

"Did it feel wrong?" You asked him, your fingers idly tracing circles over his chest.

"Well, no..."

"Then it's not wrong." You shrugged. "Am... am I yours?"

"Yes." The blond instantly replied without a trace of hesitation in his voice. "Am I?"

"You've been mine the moment you set foot in that shitty coffee shop." You laughed.

"And what are we going to tell the others?"

"That we ended up talking all night and I stayed over?"

"Sounds like a plan." Armin kissed your forehead.

"By the way, I really don't like Pearl Jam." You admitted.

He laughed and it filled your heart with warmth. You have no idea why you and Armin were like that, or how things would be from now on, but you had a good feeling about it. Things were okay. You two were okay.

[iwritethingslol]

Hi, I loved your first two Javi oneshots and I was wondering if you could do a dad!javi request! It would be greatly appreciated. Xx

Daddy Dearest {F}

GIF by @nobie

Warnings: none. 

I’m so glad to hear you loved my oneshots! Hope you guys enjoy some dad!javier bc I know I did when I wrote it! xxstar

(please don’t plagiarize my work. I spend a lot of time to perfectly execute my ideas for any sort of work that I put out on this app.)

-

You slowly wake up and turn over to wrap your arm around Javier until you realize the spot usually occupied by the man you love is empty. You raise your head and blink yourself awake to find that you’re alone in your bedroom making you sit up.

The alarm clock on Javier’s side of the bed reads 2:35 AM. That alone makes you even more confused as you get up from the bed to find your missing husband but you hear the hushed voice of Javier that leads you all the way to your girl’s room.

“That’s how I met your mom, mi querida,” you hear Javier mumble with a smile on his face as he holds your daughter in his arms, “she was so beautiful the first time I laid eyes on her... she took my breath away,” his tone soft as he stares down at his baby girl, Eliza.

You keep yourself hidden in the dark hallway as you continue to watch your husband tell her more of how you and he came to be.

“Your papa wasn’t such a good man, mi querida,” his words making you frown that Javier would say that about himself, “I did things I’m still not proud of but you and your mom are the two most things I’m proud of having in my life. tu eres mi corazón y alma and I can’t thank the gods enough to have you and your mother here with me.”

He leans down and places a gentle kiss on top of your daughter’s head as he just smiles at her unable to comprehend the fact that he could ever have something as lovely as his own child in his arms.

“Mi dulce chica,” his words soft as he runs a finger down his daughter’s chubby cheeks, “I hope you know no matter what your papa will always be here for you.”

The sight alone brings tears to your eyes and a smile makes its way onto your face knowing how much Javier loves your baby girl, remembering the day she came into the world. The tears your husband had in his eyes when he finally got to hold his daughter.

“Look at her, mi amor,” his tone wavering as he lets out a laugh, “she’s beautiful, just like her mama.”

Just from that, you knew that your daughter had her father wrapped around her little finger. The whole night in the hospital room, Javier kept her beside the both of you as he watched over her for any sign of distress on her little face that would lead him to bring her in his arms as he calmed her with sweet words and kisses until she’d fall back asleep.

“Come on, her uncle wants to hold her,” Steve rushed out as he walked over to Javier and your daughter with a big smile.

Javier takes a small step back before he looks up unimpressed, “did you wash your hands?” He brings your daughter closer to him as he waits for Steve’s answer.

Steve lets out a sigh, “what? of course, I did, now can I please hold my goddaughter?” He questions as you and Connie watch the interaction only for both of you to laugh while Javier nitpicks Steve holding your daughter.

“Don’t hold her like that!”

“What are you talking about! I’m holding her like you told me!”

Soon enough the evident cries from your daughter make Javier grumble and bring her back into his arms, “now look at what you did,” Steve just stares at him before looking at Connie confused, “it’s okay, mi dulce chica, papa’s here.”

You can’t help but let a little laugh escape your lips of the memory bringing you to place a hand on your stomach remembering the day you Javier found that you were pregnant with your baby girl.

Your hands shake as you stare at the test in your hands, “no, no, no,” you sob out and throw the test onto the sink, “this can’t be happening,” you beg only to look up at your reflection in the mirror.

Javi.

The thought of how your husband would take the news makes you wince, Javier has never told you his thoughts on having a baby and neither did you but you knew that it wouldn’t be the right time for either of you. The fear of what he might say about it brings more tears to the surface until you hear the front door open, “cariño, I’m home!” he yells making you rush to throw the test into the trash and struggle to wipe away the tears.

You open the bathroom door and walk out, trying to smile, “Hi baby, how was work?” You question making Javier turn to you with a smile of his own until he sees your eyes.

“Angel, are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying,” his gentle words make your smile falter before you shake your head, unable to say anything due to fact that it will make the truth fall out but Javier knew you, “you can tell me, it’s okay cariño...”

You watch as Javier comes over and gently places his hands on your cheeks, his smile gone and worry takes over his handsome features only making you let out a whimper as tears blur your vision, “my love... what’s wrong?” You shake your head as you try to hide your tears by leaning into his chest trying to figure out how to tell him until you mumble the words.

“I’m pregnant.”

Javier stiffens before he moves back enough to place a hand under your chin and brings your gaze to see him, his eyes searching yours, “you’re pregnant?” his voice so soft that if the house wasn’t quiet you wouldn’t have heard him.

You nod and begin to try and apologize before Javier pulls you into a kiss until he pulls away with a smile, “you’re not mad?” The words cause Javier to frown and wipe away the tears that slid down your cheeks.

“Cariño, why would I have anything to be mad about?”

You continue to be confused as you sniffle, “Javier, after everything... do you think we’re even close to being ready for a child?” Javier knows it’s true that everything that happened with Escobar was far from perfect but he couldn’t stop himself from preening at the news of you being pregnant with his baby.

Javier sighs and nods but the thought of having a baby, a family with you brings a smile to his face, “you’re right, mi amor but that’s all over now,” he assures and places a kiss on your head, “and yes we may not be ready at this moment but the thought of having a child with you is more than enough to know I’m ready for anything.”

That day always reminds you of just how much you’re happy that Javier is the one you get to spend the rest of your life with. 

“Cariño? I didn’t know you were awake,” your husband’s word making you look up to find him walking over to Eliza’s crib and put her back inside before he walks over to you, “did I wake you?”

You stare up at Javier as your heart swells for him, “no, mi amor, I woke up to hold my darling husband but he wasn’t next to him,” you joke making the smile that still manages to make your chest feel lighter show up on his face.

“I’m sorry, Eli was crying and so I came to check up on her but I ended up staying longer than I real-” you cut him off with a kiss that leads him to place a hand on your waist as he deepens it.

You pull away and grab his hand, “it’s okay,” you assure and begin to gently pull him towards the room, “let’s go to bed, my love.”

As you both lay back down in your room, Javier kisses you once more as he stares at you with complete admiration, “Thank you.”

You scrunch up your face in confusion while he pulls you into his chest, “for what, baby?”

“For loving me... and for giving me a family that I never thought I could actually have.”

-

translation:

mi querida - my dear

cariño - sweetheart

tu eres mi corazón y alma - you are my heart and soul

mi dulce chica - my sweet girl

mi amor - my love

[itsybiggy]

You're My Midnight Moon:

Part 2- could we be or is it gone

Word count:

summary: Scouts claim victory over the Titans! Finally after so long they can return home. But after how she left, will (y/n) and Armin even be able to reunite?

-ENJOY LOVES!-

He almost took every bit of oxygen out of your body. The familiar figure you had memorized so long ago, one you thought you would never see again, was sanding in the distance. He hadn't yet noticed you, but you sure as hell noticed him.

He was home.

All you wanted to do was rush into his arms, pepper his face with kisses, inhale the scent of him. One that you had spent sleepless nights trying to remember, regretting that you had forgotten. So much had change since you had left the scouts. You and Armin were not the same anymore. The cane you held in your hand and the scars over your body made that clear. Armin obviously didn’t leave with you so, the love sick teens you were before were not the traumatized adults you were today. You had let your love go. Even before you left.

It was rainy that day, the aura of the dark soaked earth would soon match the events to come. The overwhelming amount of titans in the wooded area was too much for our small squad to take. It was a simple recon mission. That's all it was supposed to be.

You, Armin, Sander, and Ellie were a part of a volunteer recon squad that was to assess the amount of Titans were in the area as well as see if there were any humans near by. As you all explored deeper into the world these reconnaissance missions became normal. Usually a squad was easily able to get in an out of an area easily because of the low numbers of Titans that far from the walls.

You had been friends with Sander and Ellie since they transitioned to the scouts from the garrison a few years back. It felt like while Armin had Eren and Mikasa, you had Sanders and Ellie. They both grew up in the same district as you the three of you had become quick friends. While Sanders hadn’t wanted to much to do with girl talk of Armin, Ellie was all ears. You had spent many nights up late talking of your crushes, it helped us to cope. Ellie had a way of joking or saying the exact right thing that would take your mind off of anything that bothered you. And Sander, who have been a bit older than the rest of your group always put your mind at ease with his advice and cool headedness he was like a big brother to you. You all decided to go on the ricin mission together since you all worked very well together.

But something went so very wrong.

It started with two abnormals in the trees. You stayed high and counted the slow walking Titans that wandered through the forest. You had counted five when Ellie and Armin, who were a bit ahead of you and Sander, shot up a red flair to signal an abnormal. Both of you quickly drew your swords to meet Ellie and Armin. As you drew closer you looked to see both their were swords drawn, they looked down at the titan that was jumping considerably high down bellow.

Armin said something to Ellie and had to swung to a higher branch.

That was when a 9 meter titan lunged from the top of the tree straight for her. You all screamed to her, but it had been too late. The jaws of the titan snapped shut around her and it continued its decent to the ground. But as it zoomed passed, Ellie’s screams of pure anguish could still be heard, trapped inside the abnormal’s mouth. They stopped after the sound of her body being crushed under the Titan’s teeth echoed through the forest.

You all stood there in complete shock. Your minds were unable to process what just happened before your eyes. Sander was the first to shake off the initial shock.

“You fucking bastard!” He screamed after it, hot tears fell from his face. “I’m going to fucking rip you to shreds you miserable cunt!” He swung down, vengeance was the only thing on his mind, he had set his sights on the cursed titan.

You had blacked out for a short second, Armin shook you back. You had come back in just enough time to see Sander’s body smashed into the tree you and Armin stood on. Blood splattered onto your faces. Blood mixed with tears.

You sunk to your knees, it seemed like your life flashed before your eyes. Or at least your life with Ellie and Sanders. All of that time you had spent together, only for them to be gone right before your eyes.

You couldn't remember much after that, but Armin told you he carried you back to the camp. Apparently Levi had to knock you out because you had almost complete lost it.

But what you do remember is after you woke up, something changed within you. You couldn't shake the constant pain no matter how hard you tried. It had embedded itself into your very soul. And you knew one thing was for certain. You never wanted to feel that kind of pain again. So, you pushed your friends away. Jean, Eren, Connie, Sasha, Mikasa, Yimir, Historia. And most of all you pushed away Armin. Your pain clouded your mind and weakened your body.

Your performance as a soldier declined, which led to your irreversible injury you lived with today. You were caught by a titan, escaped its grasp, but you fell too far from the ground. That and the titan had broken some ribs. You were safe but you were left with a fracture spine too. So, your days with the scouts were over and you left without saying goodbye.

And you regretted that every day.

So, again, as much as you wanted to run into Armin's arms. Congratulate him on saving the world, welcome him home...

You couldn't even physically run.

So you stood there, tears streamed down your face, as you watched from afar. The only thing you could do was gaze deeply at a treasure you could not obtain or touch.

Armin met your gaze, and it felt like the world yet again had color. The spring breeze smelled a little bit fresher, your hear beat a little bit faster. But, everything in your body told you to escape from him. So you turned away and went home. Because as much as his look made you feel alive again; it also felt like being burned alive, shot in the heard, trampled to death. Because if you had wanted to, you could have had him. You could have been his. In fact, you were his. But that was just a distant memory. One you fondly thought of as you walked back into your house.

Part 3 coming soon, I'm thinking its gonna have four chapters or possibly 5. Expect smut soon loves.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 2 (#10-#1)

And we’re back.. The first part is HERE, which includes the first 10 and my thoughts on this past year in animation, so we can cut the long intro and get right into it. This is the best episodes this year had to offer in animation, and it’s , without meaning to, at least a third bojack horseman. On with the show. 

10. I Am My Monster (Steven Universe Future)  “We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who's never had Steven is Steven. He's always been there for us, so... how can we be there for him now?“ Oddly “The Future”, a finale I did really truly enjoy.. is not on this list. Really good episode, it’s just Future was easily one of Steven Univereses best season, tightining up the pacing without loosing what made the series feel special and really digging into some of more unhealthy aspects of steven’s life. And while the future is good and certanily the needed epilogue.. this episode is the climax, the cumilation of EVERYTHING Steven had done and gone though and something fans sadly saw coming and just had to simply watch, unable to help as Steven slowly lost himself. Previously on this list we saw him hit rock bottom and it only got worse: He went to home world, attacked white diamond due to his pent up trauma and once again ingored attempts to help him, this time from the diamonds and spinle, angrily refusing to listen to his own words she she sang Change at him.  This only got worse in the briliant and sadly edged out of the list “Everything’s Fine’ A really damn painful episode where steven tries to assert he’s okay and act normal.. only he cant and he destroys everything around him, and even repeats pearl’s text trick from a single pale rose with a pained voice message to connie saying to help steven. But the pressure of the LONG overdue intervension and the fact it came too late.. means steven confsses his recent sins.. and instead of taking them for twhat they are, spur of the moment acts caused by a toxic influence and a fuckload of ptsd and unreseovled issues with white that while certanly not okay are symptoms of a larger issues takes it to mean “Im a fraud”.. and thus he horriingly corurpts.  So here we are as Greg, Connie and the main gems all gap ein horor as Steven has corrputed himself, reduced to a monster whose not even malcious just.. sad.. so full of self loathing he can’t function and at risk of STAYING like that. And the relization hits hard.. and hits everyone who joins in hard. The auxilery crystal gems soon join but attempts from both groups to stop Steven do nothing. The diamonds arrive.. and not only are saddneed by what htey’ve doned but equally powerfless to stop him.  Everyone breaks down, blaming themselves for not seeing this sooner and for speding YEARS piling their issue on the kids, everyone ready to give up as they loose the person they care about most.. except one. Connie proves to be the hero of the episode, rallying the others with the above, pointing out Steven would happily help them if he could.. and that’s the problem. He’s spent his whole life fixing other peoples problems and focusing on that.. but never had someone to be HIS Steven. Fighting him’s not going to work.. he needs to know he’s loved... in the end the final battle of the series is not some struggle of life and death.. but of love. What wins the day isn’t a fight, though our heroes various powers do come in hand to restrain steven.. but it’s all of them, one by one telling them they love him in easily the most tearjerking moment of the series, cumilating in connie softly playing a kiss on his nose... and it’s this that FIANLLY frees steven from his self made prison.. finally realizing h’es not alone and that no matter who or what he becomes.. his family loves and forgives him. While we REALLY needed the next episode to wrap things up after this swell of emtitions. this was the climax the series desrved: after spending 6 seasons trying to help everyone ELSE and fix their issues he never should’ve had to.. it’s eveyrone else who gladly pitches in to fix steven’s own issues, to help HIM when he’s at his lowest point like they’ve been, and make it so he can FINALLY heal and finally find himself once and for all. IT’s one of the finest episodes of the series and easily the best of future. 

9. The Perfect House (Close Enough)  “I’m this close to connecting garfield, TO JESUS”  This one’s just really funny, charming and creative. Simple as that.. I could move on but eh i’m a wordy bastard. Once again we’re focused on Emily, this time as we find out an endearing hobby of hers: She likes visiting open houses and fantasizing about affording a better place she likely never will afford, one with trash can nooks, a kitchen and a living room that are fully seperate, and indivudal bins for tea and sugar... and when it’s pointed out she dosen’t drink tea it’s only because she has nowhere to put it.  But after Josh and Candace get them thrown out, if adorably so, Emily is forced to face reality... i.e. Alex, in one of the series finest gags, in his underwear with conspiracy boards trying to connect garifled to jesus and having a jug of his urine around for some reason. Did I mention I love this weirdo because I do. Brigette is painting in the ktichen.. using her body as the canvas, though in a bikini because the show wasn’t streaming only yet. You’ll have to wait a season for possible boobs. Naturally this just stresses her out so she goes to visit more houses while Josh vows to buy a family bike, a large circular bike for the whole family, as an activity because of course he does and of COURSE he also has a recurring issue of being mocked by some random kid about not having one. 

So she escapes and meets dave and caitlin, a husband whose family life is miserable and a child star who got emanicapted and they quickly form a psuedo family to look at open houses.. only to, as if to remind you what show your watching, instead end up in a tgif sitcom... and trapped in a styigian void, with only Emily desperate to get out. Also she’s been missing three days and Josh has some thoughts on that and goes after her.  Naturally given she’s crashing in on her fake sitcom family, this oly has him seen as a plot element, and Emily’s attempt at cursing and everything she can , while hilarious fail.. but the climax is what makes the episode and what inches it slighlty above quack pack.. which itself was fucking awesome. Instead of FIGHTING the format... Emily is forced to play into it, and realizes a cheesy moment of emtional honesty is what’s needed. She apologizes to her fake family, saying their nice but she has to face the world and to josh and much like Donald, seroiusly this episode was made years ago and there’s no way in hell frank knew about it, she just needed an escape but it’s more healthy: instead of wishing for a life she never had Emily just wants a break from the life she does for five minutes. She’s happy where she is, with her loving husband, wonderful daughter, impulsive but still carring best friend.. and well okay maybe not Alex, there’s somethihng really wrong with him, but as much as I love the guy I admit he’s not for everyone. I’m also a borderline feral man covered in hair who wants people to know i’m smart. I get him. 

IT’s this that sets her free.. and we get another amazing gag as Dave’s family shows up and Dave chooses the fantasy.. though instead of this being thorughly pogiant it’s just “classic dave”. COmplete with title sequence. And of course it ends on a family bike with Emily getting those tins from Josh. Their relationship.. is REALLY what makes both this show and this episode in paticular work. Here while Emily screws up, it STARTS innocently enough, simply faking being a family and spirals into tgif because while this show isn’t, possibly, in the regular show cinematic universe, it’s defintely in the same multiverse. She just wants some peace of mind from a chaotic life, but dosen’t resent her husband or anything.. he just frustrates her sometimes which is fair. But he’s never portrayed as an abusive asshat which you think would be a low bar to clear but.. you’d be suprised. Point is it’s a wonderfully weird and somehow still unique despite being one of three tgif parodies this year. Seriously that shit is a goldmine. It’s how Dashieel Driscoll got half a season out of full house and a good chunk of a very special epsiode as a whole out of it. Though a certain incident helped. 

Point is good show, jolly good show... and ew’ll be right back with the rest afte the cut

8. Agony of a Witch/Old Bodies, Young Souls (The Owl House) “You always thought you were better than me! That I could never Beat you at anything! “  “I AM Better than you!” “Then WHY WERE YOU SO EASY TO CURSE?!”  The Owl House was a show I took WAY too long to catch up on after missing the second half of season 2.. minus Enchanting Grom Fright which I caught first run and we’ll get to that story shortly. Point is my procastnation did me dirty here as this show , which was already fantastic just got better and better, cumulating in this epic, heartdestroying, soul punching, beautifully animated finale that takes everything the show has built up thus far, blows it up in some places and uses it to beautifully end in others, leaving us with a new road for the future.  So yeah naturally it’s been a long ride as one of Owl House’s strength.. is that no episode is filler. No really, each one has a purpose great or small in the larger narrative, and every major arc has been expertly paced and crafted, bringing us to this point. The only major arc or plot thread left out is Amity, and that’s honestly for the better. Make NO mistake, she’s a great character.. but like fellow great Donald Duck, she was left out because the episode had a LOT of emotional stuff going on, a lot of plot to fit in, and a lot to do and it’s simply better for her character and for the moment’s she’s bound to have in response to well.. everything happening here, to let it breathe next season rather than try to shove it into an already stuffed two episodes.  But this episode is one long string of payoffs, and payoffs creating more setups: So all season Eda, our loveable witch, has been grappling with a curse that turns her into an owl beast, one that’s been getting worse as far back as the mid season finale Escape from the Palisman. She’s been needing more and more elixer to combat it, a harrowing parallel to some real world diseases: Sometimes your meds can only DO so much to combat something actively killing you.. thankfully this time.. not speaking from personal experince.  And Luz finds out soon into the episode as Eda makes a cloak of witches wool, which can deflect powerful spells, to protect herself.. only to black out and go owl just as she’s saying she’s fine. Like most parents would Eda hid just how bad things have gotten and it’s gone from needing just one bottle of elixer to needing their entire suply, and even that barely worked. Despite her mentor’s assurances, Luz is now PAINFULLY aware her mentor is on borrowoed time... not helped by the fact the coven attacked earlier that morning and she finds out by finding hooty playing tea party with them, meaning Eda is outgunned, outmanned and while Lilith failed, again.. the emperor can now easily find her himself and send whoever he wnats and however many people he wants to fetch her.. and Eda can’t use too much of her magic or else.  So while Eda and King, touched by how much Luz has changed them, decide to throw a suprise party with King making a big cake to jump out of and Eda using witches wool she intended for herself to make her a cape. Meanwhile as you’d expect Luz.. is plotting a dangerous and life threatning mission: with a field trip to the Emperor’s Coven that day, one she was going to sit out because you know they hate her second mom for dogmatic and vile reasons the episode fleshes out, she finds out they have an artifact called the healing hat that can seemingly heal anything.  So she does what Luz does and comes up with an impulsive plan to heist the thing.. but for once her impuslivness isn’t played for laughs. Her mother figure is slowly sucumbing to a fate worse than death, for once instead of just acting rashly because Luz.. she’s doing so because she KNOWS, that she has no other choice. Nothing else in sight and she’s smart enough to know that if Eda had a cure she’d of told Luz about it. Even if it was dangerous or required a sacrifice or something Eda would’ve just left that part out.  But the trip serves a few other purposes besides getting Luz where she needs to be for the plot that makes it work: it elaborates on just what the emperor’s coven is like and WHY Emperor Belos gets away with everything: He claims to speak for the titan,  the giant dead monster whose body makes up the boiling isles and who, as Luz has discovered, is the source of the magic there. So when he bloodily, I mean it’ sa kid show so they dont’ say so but given how violent this one is i’m asssuming bloody, took power, he claimed they were doing magic wrong, killed any hertiics and set up the rigid coven system. It explains just WHY the boiling isles limits themselves, gives the whole thing a creepy dogmatic religion vibe.. something that i’m REALLY suprised disney let them get away with as they had to fight for gays in the series.. but at the same time shouldn’t be because hunchback of notre dame exists and Soul , released the same year, was a big gamble against the bible belt. So their not afriad of religious groups.. but they ARE afraid of homophobic groups.. which have a lot of overlap. 

Point is it’s a good storytelling device.. and cathartic given i’ve been playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses as I finally bought it with some christmas money. Good game, probably will talk about it in the future, not the point here. 

The point is that the visit gives us some worldbuilding that helps show just how much of a threat the coven is and why their so intent on capturing Eda. We also finally meet belos, god emperor and man tired of Lillith’s shit and giving her till twilight to get Eda.. or presumibly die. I mean he dosen’t say it but he sure is implying it as loud as he can.  That’s when things go pear shaped for Luz who finds the hat.. and LIlith who has found her barganing chip to lure Eda to her, which works as well as you’d expect and leads to the best figh tin the series thus far and one of , if not it’s best scene; A duel between edith and lilith. And while they fought back in Covention this time  it’s not a petty squabble between siblings masquerading as one trying to capture the other.. it’s  fight NEITHER can afford to loose. Eda can’t loose her protege and Lilith will loose everything, dying at best being cast out of the coven at worst, if she fails not to mention loosing what she feels is her only chance at saving her sister.  But it’s also VERY clear Lilith is groosly outmatched, and while no slouch herself Eda’s constant bragging about being “the most powerful witch on the boiling isles”.. is entirely backed up. Lilith barely is able to hold herself and only gets ahead by using a child as a shiled, going even lower than her sister. However the stress of this, the build of having been the older sister of someone who constantly outshined her then turned entirely against her, finally causes lilith to snap.. and reveal the curse is her fault. Cissy Jones delivery here.. is jsut perfect, showing a mixture of rage and pain, showing that she’s spent YEARS hiding this, years resenting her sister for constnatly being better desptie working harder and doing the right thigns. Even when she’s trying to HELP Eda, genuinely trying to undo her mistake as we find out and as we’ve seen genuinely sees the emperor as the wise and benevlolent god he portrays himself as.. she can’t let it go. SHe can’t see past her own bitterness to see her sister is right and if she could just let this go and work on Eda’s terms instead of forcing Eda into her world, then maybe it wouldn’t of gotten this bad. Maybe she could’ve told her. 

Eda takes it about as well as you’d expect, and Lilith.. uses this to threaten luz’s life and force eda to use up her magic to save her, leading to the series most heartbreaking moment and Wendy Mallick’s best acting so far as she bids her appretnince a tearful farewell. Luz RIGHTFULLY and angrily lashes out at lilith calling her a monster while Lilith takes Eda and urges luz to go home... and after a tearful ending with king realizing something’s deeply wrong.

So thus next episode after a history lesson from king and some suprisinging caution as he KNOWS what Luz is up against.. Luz still decides she dosne’t care. Eda’s sacrificed herself, to Luz it’s her fault she’s in this which while KINDA accurate missues some fine points such as her sister’s stubborness or the fact had lilith not shown up she could’ve taken the hat. And the fact LIlith saying the hat was junk was pretty unreliable. What i’m saying is maybe the child shoudln’t blame herself for being kidnapped while genuinely tring to reach the same goal. 

But Lilith soon learns to her horror her sister was right. While Belos restores Eda’ss sentience even fully owled.. he has no intrest in helping her, eveyr intrest in publicly petrifying her, and not even the slightest hint of remorse at betraying lilith this deeply. After all her faith in the man.. Belos spat in her face and told her to like it.  Meanwhile Luz goes on the warpath, and we see just how far she’s come.. and WHY Belos is probably so restrictive with magic and put it on such a tight leash: we see that with her natural power and just a handful of spells, the four she’s pciked up over the season, she easily curbstomps the conformotrium staff, gets to Eda fairly easily.. and fines sshe can’t free her and eda wants the door destroyed so whatever Belos wants with it, he can’t have it. Luz heads home, ready to destroy the door.. onlyt of ind two things. her magic dosen’t work there.. and Lilith followed her and grabbed king. After a breif fight and Luz angrily and rightously confroting the asshole, wish she was in Eda’s place.. Lilith admits luz’s right and gives her backstory: That her insecurity was so great that on the day before a duel with Eda to determine who got into the emperoror’s coven, she curfsed her own sister, with no idea it’d last this long or get this bad. And with no idea Eda had lost intrest in it and WILLINGLY gave her sister teh spot.. It’s very clear despite her masssive flaws that will need to be adressed.. lilith never stopped caring about her sister, and it took all this to make her realize that trying to fix the mistake on HER terms without including her sister.. instead has almost cost her it.  So Luz and King relucntnatly take her help, though the other two are quickly capatured when theyt ry to get to hte exceution platform and thrown in the cage with Eda.. which dosne’t help the coven’s reputation as gus and willow try to make a case for Eda. Meanwhile we get the SECOND best fight of the series as Luz challenges Bellows.. and it’s UTTERLY chillling and while he’s had scenes before this it’s here we get the true scope of who he is ..and that like eda the god complex is something he can back up. Whlie Luz proves just how strong she’s gotten by keeping up with him it’s barely, and it’s clear from the moment go, and one of the series best shots, with Belos creeply materlizing behind her before announcing “sure, i’ll play” that this is a game. She’s no challenge to him and he simply wants to see waht she can do and is mildly impressed if a tad annoyed at her actually damaging his mask. But with Eda, King and Lilith’s lives in the ballance the only way Luz can save htem.. is to give him waht he wants. 

Thing is, just like Lilith, just like everyone has, good an dbad all season.... Belos undereesitmated luz.. who left fire runes on the door, willnig to sacrifice ever seeing her mom again if it meant keeping him away from her. While he has no invasion planned whatever it is CANNOT be good. Luz saves them, and Eda flies them off with Belos saying the titan dismissed them. Also that Belos has a big penis.. super huge, size of a tractor that one. Yeah that’s the ticket. 

But we get  a happyish ending as LIlith does what she should’ve done a long time ago and apologizes, and Eda starts to fogive her, brought on by King earlier standing up to her as whle he’s not happy with her either, he realizes from her story she’s not a bad person.. just a very messed up one who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. One who belivied in the wrong person to fix her problem and finally takes repsonsiblity and part of the curse into her. So with the sequel hook of Eda having lost her internal magic power but still being able to use glyph’s like luz, we also find out the Emperor has the door and a mysterious masked minon,.. who i’m fairly certain isn’t amity only because it’s too obvious. This is simply how you end a season: It’s engaging, heartbreaking, well animated and pays off EVEYRHTING so far while setting up the season to come. It’s going to be a LONG wait till next time, mid-this year.. but I can wait. The high from this one’s going to last a while. 

7. Good Damage (Bojack Horseman)  “ That means that all the damage I got isn't good damage. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could have been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?! “

Bojack Horseman is one of the best shows of the last decade, and an important one to me. it was the first one I watched when we switched to all streaming. I really related to Bojack and his struggles with depresion and self loathing.. which backfired given he’s a much worse person than me and while I could relate, I also compared myself too much to a character who in retrospect is both far worse  and has FAR MORE issues than I do and diffrent ones at that outside of the depression and self hatred.  The point i’m framing is that the series and I have a complicated relationship and that coupled with how bad 2020 was meant it took until a few days ago to finally finish it, almost a year later. But I cannot deny how good the show is: it has faults, a bit of reptititon in some character arcs, casting a white woman as a Vietnamize-American woman (something both Ralph Paul Waskerberg and Alison Brie have apologized for to their credit), and .. I can’t think of a last one. They never brought Ralph back? Yeah let’s go with that one what the fuck there. So I felt I owed the show one last round and it payed off as the final stretch, while easily the hardest to get through due to covering the collapse of Bojack’s life, is easily one of it’s best. 

But before the fall, we get Good Damage, which instead of focusing on BoJack focuses on Diane, said asian woman voiced by a white lady, neurotic writer and Bojack’s best friend, who has moved to Chicago to be with her boyfriend guy, a chill, charasmatic and likeable buffalo cameraman. Things are going better than they ever have: she’s in a supportive relationship and thanks to her antidipresenants, while still her loveably neurotic self, is now not obessing over shit as much and is solving her problems with applomb. Even the weight gain from her meds, which she dreaded in the previous half of the season.. has insteead only made her look healthier and happier, and more beautiful than ever. 

The only problem is she can’t write her long promised Memoir, which Princess Carlolyn, her former boss, agent and loveable pink cat and single mother, has promised to a lot of celebrities. She TRIES, she puts lots of work into it, keeps trying to sit there but nothing comes out. And what makes the episode truly great is how this is presented. Bojack is no stranger to beautiful, visually diverse episodes, Stupid Peace of Shit being a notable example and one similar to this one but uniquely great in it’s own way, but this one is easly the bes,t using a squiggly crude style to show just how chaotic and uncomfortable diane is and how stuck she is. She’s TRYING, but she just can’t make her life’s story into anything GOOD, she can’t get the words out which as someone whose had reams of projects I never startd, even to this day and who has genuine trouble writing fiction.... I related to this like all hell. But even people who have never had an intrest in writng can just get the feeling thanks to the wonderful writing and animation, from cameos by the rest of the cast to Diane’s father showing up as a goblin to the word boxes showing what she’s writtne it’s just a treat.  But what centers this amazing visual represtnation is Diane’s internal struggles as an encounter with a rude sales person leads her off on a tangent..and to Ivy Tran, a teen detective whose upbeat, optimstic, and in a great bit outlines who she is in jsut the right amount, and solves mysteries in a food court. It’s a genuinely good idea, one I honestly think could support it’s own series... seriously get on that Ralph-Bob. Get on that. Point is it’s good.. but Diane’s so hung up on what she SHOULD be making, she can’t see what’s right in front of her, despite guy saying the passages are good.  Things come to a head when Diane makes a huge mistake and goes off her meds.. which from experince never ends well: for the entire episode she’s been under the impression she can’t write because of them.. only to be proven HORRIFYINGLY wrong. It’s a  VERY necessary aseop: that your medication will always be with you and that going off it suddenly, or blaming it for writers block not only isn’t true but is DANGEROUS. Diane spirals, cries and her writing gets dark and full of self hate. It’s then Guy proves just how fucking majestic he is: he figures out what’s going on after she tells him, and helps her get to bed so she can rest, puke whatever she needs and they’ll talk about things after she takes her meds again and gets her head on straight, when she’s in a good place to do so. As someone with mental illness.. ti’s nice to see a character who not only supports someone fully, but knows how to handle it. Instead of a shitty third act breakup like many shows would do guy stands by her.  He does however step SLIGHTLY over the line, if iwth good intentions and reason and send Princess Carolyn the Ivy Tran pages, because as he puts it he made an executive decision.. and when Diane is a bit annoyed by that as it does sound a tad douchey, he rightly points out she was in a really bad hole of a place, stuck in a loop doign something that even before going off her meds was clearly hurting her and going nowhere, and needed SOMETHING to snap her out of it, and did so not to hurt her or because he thought he knkew better or , like her ex husband, because he was oblvious to her needs; he did it because it was the hard but necessary thing to get her to seee she had something special and that she dosen’t have to constnatly tear herself up by diving into past traumas because of some internal obligation. 

Naturally Diane dosen’t take it despite Princess Carolyn not only being impressed but PREFERRING the ivy pages, as she was genuinely unaware Diane had something so happy and charming in her. While Diane is worried about it when the two end up meeting in person, we soon find out why: If all the damage she went through wasn’t “good” damage, things she could writ eabout and use later.. what was it for? Could she of just been happy this whole time? Did she waste her life. And in a rare moment betwen the two PC helps Diane walk it back, explaning that she can do what she always wanted: write something that makes someone like her feel not alone. That she dosen’t HAVE to make her life story into something complicated, just make what makes her and other people happy. Something PC’s daughter could enjoy one day. So Diane finally accepts that maybe there’s something else for her.. and then we get a segue into the next episode with bojack having a panic attack and pasing out but that episode, good as it was didn’t make it so moving on.  We also check in with Penny, the daughter of an old friend of bojacks who he nearly slept with and is stil haunted both by the decision and a drunken later visit to apologize... which isn’t helped remotely when max and page, two reporters inovlved in teh subplot that tears bojack’s life apart, start hounding her. While they have good intentions, exposing Bojack’s connection to Sarah Lynn’s death, the two’s methods still come off as creepy, following a, at this point , 21 year old girl whose been through ENOUGH home. While the two aren’t terrible people their actions.. are.. while getting hte story ismprotant is it truly worth genuinely harming this person. And penny wonders if she SHOULD air her story.. she ends up not.. but only because her mother, while lettiner he decide, poitns out it may not be worth all the pressure and possible trauma it digs up,especially since Bojack is getting what he deserved anyway. IT’s a decent subplot tha tties up a loose end but really makes our journalist characters feel like assholes for again, basically stalking and harassing a young woman who didn’t want to rehash the worst moment of her life. Otherwise top notch stuff. 

6. Heart (Parts 1 and 2) (She Ra and the Princesses of Power) “Don't you get it? I love you! I always have! So please, just this once... STAY! Stay. “

Now we get to the gays winning.. and to one of the best series finale in recent memory. And given the other two titanic shows ending, one of which we’ll get to’s ending in a moment, last year, it’s a huge compliment. Heart is how you end a space opera... with big wonderful speeches, great payoff, a huge climax.. and a beautiful cathartic kiss paying off the relationship at the heart of the series that ends up saving the universe.  So let’s just go ahead and crack open that pinata: The kiss.. was easily one of the best moments of animation this year and, at a time when the quarantine was starting, misery was spreading, and things looked pretty damn bad, having a major animated show, one of the biggest of the last few years, climax with an emotional moment between two women, one the series had been setting up since day 1... it was a huge step foward for gay representation in children’s animation, and warmed my big bi heart. And it’s not just good because of that: the fact it’s a giant pile of representation is wonderous, but it’s because it’s also well baked into the show. This is the conclusion of both their character arcs: Catra finally realizes Adora will not abandon her and her leaving the Horde was not choosing them over her.. it was simply doing the right thing. So instead of running or trying to escape she’s grown enough to fight for what she wants and fight for a future with Adora.  Adora meanwhile finally overcomes her martyer complex, her determination, especially after Angela’s death, to make sure no one else is gone and she’s the only one that suffers and looses. To make sure there’s nothing else. It’s Catra’s confesssion that FINALLY gets it through her thick skull that she dosen’t have to be alone or bear anything alone.. she’ll always have someone with her to do that.. and even before Catra.. she’s always had friends for that. She dosen’t have to be alone. So the two embrace and it’s fucking beautiful..and gives adora the full power of the doomsday device they went to shutdown in the first place, restoring the planet.. and allowing her to destroy horde prime’s fucking soul. I just want to reiterate that because it understandably got lost in the shuffle of the gays winning, but our heroine fucking tears out the main villian’s soul.. and it is SO damn satisfying given what a truly repulsive , irredemible, asshat Prime was. So the two finally get a future together, a chance to build and to stop letting the past define them. It’s wide open.  But while that alone would probably net it on this list but it’s damn good otherwise, an epic final struggle between our heroes and the horde for the fate of not just their planet but ALL of htem as Prime prepares to finally wipe everything else out in egomanical genocide. There are just.. tons of awesome moments in this one: Bow and Glimmer’s suprising but welcome love confession, Seahawk annoying mermista into fighting her chip, the people of etheria fighting back.. and the reason they do is easily the second best moment of the episode. With the chips down, not literally, and things looking bleak Bow hyjacks Prime’s egoamnacial hologram.. and broadcasts for everyone to fight, to fight back, and to END THIS. After spending most of the series as the one trying to keep his friends together, the glue of everyone.. it’s bow’s heart, courage, and voice, the one that lead his friends through some rough times and severed as reason when they needed it most wether they listned or not.. that frees the world and with Entrapta turns the tide at long last. It’s just a hell of a moment.  And the only other moment equaling it is Hordak freeing himself and deciding he is his own man, he made himself tha tway for better and worst and kills prime, at least before adora finsihes the job with the badass “I am HORDAK and I DEFY your will. “ It’s just a wonderful, epic finale that pays off most of the shows major arcs, gives our heroes a MUCH deserved happy ending after spending their lives at war, and let it be said one last time, gave gay representation in children’s cartoon one hell of a win.

5. Nice While it Lasted (Bojack Horseman) 

“ No, I need to tell you... thank you... and... it's going to be okay... and... I'm sorry... and... thank you... “

Back to back finales here and honestly both are REALLY close in quality, both satisfyingly paying off their series. But both take equal and opposite routes: Heart is an epic finale in scope size and impact... while Nice While it Lasted is a very stripped down character piece: there are other characters in the background but after the intro the only voiced characters in each segment are Bojack and one of the main cast, each one both showing how much said relationship has evolved since the show began, and giving Bojack time to reflect on his possible future. I say possible because one of Nice While it Lasted’s best aspects it that there’s no real concrete ending for Bojack. Ther’es still closure: after his life emploded and he nearly died, more on that in a bit, Bojack ended up in prison, offically for breaking and entering but unoffically for all the shitty things he did with him glumly accepting it. So one year later he’s out thanks to Princess Carolyn for her wedding, sober again thanks to prison and even started his own acting class at the prison he’s geninley invested in, inteding to continue it once he gets out. But otherwise.. his future’s in flux. HE’s sober for now, but he’s painfully aware that could change again, his friends while, with one excpetion, still having a place for him in their lives, have moved on, and his career is on the upswing again despite being a pariah a year ago because as I mentioned earlier and as PC brilliantly puts it

So he could become a better man, get his career back, make amends for what he did and stay sober.. or backslide and fall down into the same traps he always has. It plays into an aseop the series has always preached: There are no real endings, life just goes on. Even for the rest of the cast hteir lives aren’t over.. their just in a good place.. maybe bojack will, maybe he won’t. Tha’ts up to the indvidual viewer and I like that. While ambgious endings can be frustrating and I get while some preferred the more concrete if still somewhat ambgious ending of a view from halfway down, I feel this fits the series better: Bojack, like the end of every season is moving on to something new, but this time we don’t know what, and that’s okay. IT’s time for us to move on.  Well okay not from this entry as each vingette deserves some praise: Our first has Mr. Peanutbutter pick up Bojack from prison, and even get him a new suit.. and then another one offscreen because predictably for his life BOjack got meatball all over it. He also calms our hero down when he wants to go back to jail, letting him know it’s okay and he’ll be there for him.. unless his friend Erica shows up but what are the odds... 1:1. But what’s nice about it is while Bojack still makes jabs, it’s clear he’s gone from truly hating and resenting PB for being the betterversion of him.. to truly seeing the guy as one of his best friends, his jabs having gone from hurtful and bitter to wry and warranted. I mean they were warranted a lot back then too he’s just a lot softer about them. 

At the wedding Todd and Bojack finally reach some form of understanding after years of awkwardness, the two having reconclied but not being really remotely close or in each other’s lives hardly anymore after Todd’s understandable blow up at Bojack in “It’s You”. Here Todd has Bojack rush him to the beach to cary him on his shoulders.. to watch fireworks because he could tell he was overhwelmed, the two having found a rhtym again, with, like with mr peanutbutter, Bojacks jabs being a lot friendler and Todd having a respect for his own needs while actually being present for bojack instead of ignorant of how bad things were like he was at the start. He even helps BOjack see even if he DOES replase.. he can get right back on the horse, couldn’t resist that one sue me, and as the hokey pokey says turn himself around. 

After, in one of the best payoffs of the series, finally trying Hondedew and finding it’s not so bad, Bojack dances with PC, admittingh e half hoped he’d have to help her go thorugh with it before the two run through the scenario, and PC expresses some honest fears with bojack helping her showing how the two hav egone from a horribly stiffing relationship.. to two close friends who are probably stuck with one another for life. Sunk costs and all that. And if bojack does want to act again she knwos some people. But for now PC finally really has everything she ever wanted:: A daughter, and a loving husband in judah. 

Finally we have the most painful of the group because of course the Bojack finale wouldn’t be all sugar and would have to punch us in the gut. Bojack finds Diane again who hasn’t talked to him.. because he called her the night of his near death/sucidide and due to putting the blame on her due to being high out of his mind, made her feel like it was his fault during the 7 hours she could reach no one and thought he was dead. Diane is hurt, feeling betrayed that bojack promsied he’d be fine then possibly left her with the pain of his death on her concious forever. Thankfully she’s doing fine, as she’s now married guy and Ivy Tran is a huge success and probably a series now.. but it’s abudnantly clear her friendship with Bojack is over.. but even this bittersweet, and necessary, seperation, as Diane has moved past LA and Bojack needs to stop relying on her and stand on his own two hooves, still warms the heart as she thanks him and lets him know i’tll be okay, and endugles him in telling her one last story, a rathe rfunny one about prison movie night bfore the series ends on the melancholy and apporriate song mr blue as the two gaze out and they see each other and we see them for the last time. 

4 The Wasteland (Infinity Train) 

“I'm as good as dead, and if my last act is to bring you with me, sliver, I can't imagine a better way to go!” “Well, I can! “

So from a bittersweet ending to holy shit that’s depressing, we have our only entry from Infnity Train on the list. That’s not to say the series did bad this year. Season 2 was easily the series finest hour, taking the framework from season 1 and crafting a gripping story of a teenage mirror person who just wanted to live without assholes trying to kill her for what she fundementally IS, and be recognized as a person, with the help of a magical deer and a more optimstic teen grappling with his peer pressure issues.  The series was still undoubtly silly with a parasite voiced by Bill Corbett, wonderfully so, and again a magical deer named Alan Dracula, long may he reign, it simply deconstructed the nature of the train and thus opened up the floodgates. By giving us a denzin who, after years of being someone’s reflection in both senses of the word, just wanted to live and how that clashed with the train and the racist assholes she met alnong the way, from the ones who wouldnt’ stop trying to kill her.. to humans who considered her as nothing more than a plaything at best and something to get rid of at worst. While Season 3 was not bad, if a bit way too strcuturally messy and trying to do too much at once, Season 2 still handled the same issues but in a much tighter frame storywise.  And that’s why only one episode made it: Most of the episodes, espicially the later ones, are pieces of a large whole, with the show being heavily seralized. Which while a great approach intended for streaming, also means it was hard to find a chapter that worked that well on it’s own, steven universe future had similar issues. But I did and the wasteland is easily the darkest, harshest and most intresting episode out of the batch.  The episode opens at MT’s darkest hour: The apex told the mirror police where she is, Jesse is gone, and MT is now running for her life from the sadstic assshole and his spinless partner who want her dead just for existing.. gee can’t imagine why a bunch of assholes refusing ot acknolwedge other peoples opinons, rights or even existance was a big topic last year.. or this year. 

So while Mace, the main mirror cop, manages to handcuff her MT manages to throw him under the train. THe result is her trying to escape the train by wondering i’ts vast desert, forced to drag Mace along as he taunts her, bleeding out slowly from you know being bisected by a train. It’s a really moody peace as Mace mock’s mt’s dreams of escape and justify’s his own selling out, while MT pokes holes in that: he was so desperate to not nonexist.. he’s willing to kill others who just want the same. IT’s a damn hard watch but fuck if i’ts not compelling. 

And the climax is what makes it. MT finds out she can’t leave the bounds of the wasteland, as it only projects so far and after escaping the ghoms ends up back on the train, with Mace, not long fo rthis world trying to kill her.. so we get a 13-14 year old GRINDING HER HORRIFYING ABUSER UNDER A TRAIN WHEEL. Just jesus.. I mean I kind of get HBO Max’s point that MAYBE this is a bit much for kids. I mean i’ve seen other really dark stuff but holy fuck a man died.. and we see his blood splatter. But it’s this horrible, harsh moment that makes the episode.. as is MT”s reaction.. not one of triumph.. but of exaustion and horror at what she’s done, before steadying herself to prove him wrong. A hard one to write about but damn it was good. 

3. Enchanting Grom Fright (The Owl House)  “Dear Luz, will you go to Grom with me- Amity”  Now we THANKFULLY get to something lighter: the gays winning.. again. Coming out during pride month, phrasing, and only a month after the she ra finale we got this delightful episode. As I said earlier I watched this one first run: while I was super behind, I couldn’t resisit to the point I watched it before that week’s amphibia. I was that curious what was going to happen.  See as i’ve given out about quite a lot.. and I mean a LOT, Disney dosen’t have the best track record with gay representation: they don’t do horrible sterotypes or anything.. but they also don’t do much of anything for the most part. Alex Hirsch has outright spoke about how much he had to fight just to get Blubbs and Durland firmly together in the finale, and how the symbols for the love god were widdled down to just male and female. And around the time this episode came Disney was coming out of a REALLY bad batch of pr stunt gay representation: They made a big deal about the first gay x in an x having gay characters in avengers endgame, star wars: Deep Hurting and onward.. but these were cameos AT BEST, with the endgame one being so minor I genuinely didn’t realize the character was talking about dating a man and only found out afterwords. Sure Ducktales had gay dads, which is awesome and always will be.. but none of the major cast was allowed to be openly gay. I mean we know webby and lena are gay but hell if disney would allow that.  But miracoulsy.. shockingly and wonderfully.. Disney DID mange to finally just say fuck it and let some big gay rep in, something so obvious it can’t be ignored and that actually features the main character and one of the most major supporting characters. And what do you know, the good press and pats on the back outweighed the bad. It’s almost if giving up homophobic markets in exchange for doing the right thing.. is a GOOD thing while also being profable. Who’d a thunk. Point is via sheer perstiance, Owl House creator Dana Terrance got to not only make her lead bi, which Terrance herself is, but have her love intrest be a girl. And I find it genuinely wonderful that gay, bi, pan and what have you children can watch this and say “tha’ts me and this is okay”.  But even minus Owl House saying gay rights.. the episode is just REALLY good and part of it is who it focuses on. Amity easily has the most character devleopment out of the cast going from someone who walls herself off from everyone, revels in her superiority.. to slowly opening up to heroine Luz, realizing Luz is not a bad person and that Amity herself dosen’t have to be, and right before this starting the road to patching things up with her former best friend willow. Allt hrough this said friendship had been prettty, prettyy, prettyyy gay. And that’s wonderful obviously, but part of why I watched this was while I HOPED they’d get to be couple.. I wasn’t convinced since see a fucking bove. But I was happy to realize that oh my god I was wrong, the gays won all along. 

So with Amity a better person she’s naturally syampthetic when sh’es put front and center at hexside’s prom equvilent which while having a dance, gromprosals and a disco ball tha’ts also a sentient being, becuase boiling isles, it also has the queen or king forced to fight a horrifying monster that manfiests as your greatest fear. And, as we find out towards the end.. Amity’s is being rejected by Luz, having her love letter, which she fails to deliver due to running into luz.. and co (which is my faviroite gag of the episode and the adorable smiles gus and willow give in response are what make it). And . it makes sense. When you stop and think about it.. Luz is the best thing in her life. She got her to change as a person, genuinely cares about and adores her, just wants to be her friend and thinks the world of her. Given her siblings, while trying to be better, are two disaster bisexuals who just stopped a lifetime of untietonally harsh bullying and her parents are controlling asshats who made her abandon her best friend at a young age and she sees LILITH as a mother figure, just let that sink in given a few entires back.. yeah.. no wonder sh’es utterly terrified of rejection. Poor baby. 

Of course WE know Luz wouldn’t. Luz may be many things, including oblvioius to thte freaking obvoius as this story line has revealed, but shes not cruel and even if she said no, which I higlhly doubt she would, she woudln’t be a dick about it. But being surrounded by cruel assholes for some time has made Amity a bit paranoid so Luz volunteers to sub in to both genuinely help her friend.. and to prove to eda she can do this. Eda is also chaperoning. and looks neat in a suit, while King and Gus get a wonderful b plot of mcing the dance with the egotisticl king having issues with stage fright. I will get more into that when I review the episode proper, come back in a month for that.  But yeah while Luz does well when the time comes, and while sadly not wearing her otter suit does wear a wonderful tuxedo with a tutu.. she has her own repressed issues to adress as Grom takes the form of her mother, as Luz has been nursing guilt over not telling her the truth about what’s going on. Luz runs, and Amity ends up facing her fear to save her crush and the two get a wonderfully romantic, and desturctive dance together as they face hteir fear, untie as one and kill that motherfucker... well okay i’m not sure grom can die but it’s gone for now.  The dance sequence.. is easily one of the best scene’s all year, beauituflly animated and painstakingly planned out, with wonderful music.. it’s just awesome and what takes the episode ove rthe top, with the two perfeclty in synch as they take grom out in less than a minute. Also king become prom king and queen, he is best of both as Luz’s own personal issues put a damper on things. Also someone’s been writing her mom. 

Overall just a perfect episoe and a perfectly gay episode of one of the best shows going right now. Speaking of a perfect episode of one of the best shows going right now, tha’ts also on disney. 

2. Escape From the Impossibin! (Ducktales)  ”We have to keep them safe” “But not like this!”  So from some emotinal torment mixed with some lovely shipping, we get a whole buttload of emotional anguish but with a robotic scrooge and the time loop room and the time loop room and the time loop room, and time l...

As I said in part 1, Season 3 is easily Ducktales best so far, having far better pacing, character ballance and bolder and more intresting stories than ever before. While the first two seasons are still excellent, this one has taken everything great and honed it and no episode shows off just how great this season is than this one.  This one takes place in the fallout of “Let’s Get Dangerous!”, with the family dealing with finding out FOWL”s not only still alive, but is run by Bradford, head of scrooge’s board of directors former shush agent as we’d find out later, and asshole, who knows all their secrets. And given Scrooge is mildly paranoid on a good day and Beakly is extremley paranoid on her best day, it’s done a number on both as they’ve split the family minus launchpad, who just had a whole episode so fair enough, up: Scrooge has taken Della and Louie, wiht their see all the angels schtick, to test out his new security, while Beakly and Donald are securing the house while Beakly has webby throughly test the boys.  Neither side goes well. The bin ends up locking our heroes out due to Scrooge’s password being changed, and forcing them to work past it. Louie rises to the challenge, as does della.. but as they beat a robot versoin of scrooge, because of course the final test would be a robot version of scrooge, Scrooge is instead of triumphant at not being dead, incredibly depressed and furious. Because when told he’s scrooge mcduck he tellingly replies “AND WHAT IF THAT’S NTO ENOUGH’. For once.. Scrooge is SCARED, up against someone who knows his every move and is one step ahead, iti’s how it’s always been, no matter what he’ll do, he’ll always loose and Bradford will always win. I REALLY need to watch spies are forever, point is he’s scared and Bradford PROVING the point by revealing he was behind it and taking over the robot dosen’t help. Our heroes win though in a damn impressive action sequence, but as it turns out.. it was just a distraction.. but we’llg et back to that.  The other plot though is whyt his is so high. While the first plot is a fun romp with deep eomtional consequences.. the second plot is decidly far darker.. it still has some good bits as webby terorizes the boys and easily one of the best in the season when she horrifying imitates dewey, but its’ only when she does finally attack she realizes she’s taken it way toof ar. She’s terrorized her brothers, caused huey to break his leg and then turn her away when she tries to help.. all she’s done is turn them AGAINST each other and they can’t win this way.  Beakly strongly disagrees and clealry lost in her own paranoia and fear, prepares to attack huey.. and thus Webby steps in... leading to one fo the most heartbreaking and tense fights in the series as grandmother and grandaughter fight one on one but both are outmatched.. but Huey and Dewey, despite everything, refuse not to help their sister and help pull webby up, with Webby panickidly realizing something’s VERY wrong and her granny usually isn’t like this when sparring... and is also chasing them. This leads to the roof, in a rainstorm no less, and Webby relcutnatnly ready to fight even though she clearly knows she both can’t win.. and dosen’t want to anymore. Despite her wilingless to scrap, fight and train.. Webby dosen’t WANT to hurt her granny she just wants to help her. Thankfully, the boys attempt to stop this, while failing horribly, catches donald’s attention as he catches them, ntocies what’s going on and furiously refuses to let this go on. While Beakly tries to ignore it and fight..s he instead slips and despite everything, the rest of the group rescue her, with Webby impressing on her grandmother that they aren’t fowl. They wont’ win acting like them and tearing each other apart.. they need to be the family they are.  But if all that wasn’t enough turns out.. yeah, Bradford’s thing was a distraction and with the rest of the group distracted with Beakly, that meant his plan went off without a hitch: all the missing mysteries have been taken by FOWL, in a masterstorke that ties both plots together and brings what seemed like isolated adventures on their own in a tagnetally related plot into the fore. Everything so far has built up to this.. and despite the loss.. the family, having been through a dark night of the soul, is ready to fight back. They want the rest of the mysteries? Their going to have to fight clan mcduck in their elment. And it’s been glorious so far. A tense, well paced, hard hitting episode, this one’s a winner. and almost got #1.. ALMOST. But as much as I tried to not go with the obvious chocie, the one with tons of press and praise and that’s graced tons of best of lists... I had to go with what was honestly the best. So...

1. The View from Halfway Down (BoJack Horseman)  “Oh BoJack, there is no other side. This is it. “  This episode was my main reason for catching up with the series and finishing it off once and for all. Awash with praise and hype I was curious about this one.. and my curiosity paid off. This is easily one of if not hte best episodes Bojack put out in it’s storied run: it’s creative, impossible to look away from and devistating: in short it’s the show in a nutshell.. and it’s a hell of a view. 

Previously as mentioned before Bojack’s life blew up and he lost just about everything, from his friends, though as the finale bared out only one of them stayed away for good and for good reason, his only family in hollyhock, his house, even horsin around. He had nothing left.. so high on drugs and in his old house he passed out at the end of last episode.. and we wake up here with a recurring dream as Bojack has a dinner party at his mother’s house, another wonderful performance from Wendy Mallick. Everyone there is someone Bojack knew who died: his former best friend he betrayed Herb, Sarah Lynn his former child co start turned washed up 30 something he let die, Courdory, a co star who died trying to get off david caradine style, Crackerjacke, the uncle he never knew who die din the war and his parents, distant mother Beatrice as mentioned and his father, who is in the body of his hero secretariat who comited suiccide in this unvierse due to getting banned from racing, as that’s the kind of weird shit dreams do. Also Zack Braff, who has no real conncetion to bojack but still died during that time Mr Peanutbutters house sunk into the earth and his ex wife Jesscia bIel formed a death cult.  The group play a game of best and worst, lay into each ohter and have some really intresting conversations with Bojack confident of when it’ll end: before the show their always mentioing. But this time, it’s diffrent.. Bojack is there for it so we get a trippy and horrifyimng stage show as Bojack watches the various people one by one vo into a black door, allt he while bojack coughts up sludge and is persued by it, unaware where he was before this. Sarah Lynn gives one last song, a reprise of a song from previous in the series, Courdroy does a ribbon dance and zack braff gets on roller skates. And bojack has a frank conversation with his dad, with his dad/secretariat revealing he DID care but was just so filled with loathing he coudlnt’ admit it to his son and thus was an abusive ass.. and then reveals to bojack he’s not waking up and bojack horryfigngly see shimself, drowning ina pool. And while he frantically, heartbreakingly tries to flee... he can’t. There’s no exit for him. As herb tells him, this isn’t the afterlife, this is his brain making sense of his last moments, and ther’es no way of knowing if he’ll get rescued, no way to do anything but watch.. watch as his father secretairat shows suicide in all it’s horror by letting it know he wouldn’t of done it if he knew “the view fro halfway down”, a horrifingly haunting poem that sells just how bad it was. As beatrice and crackerjack also go we’re down to herb who introduces bojack... before going in himself, claming there is no other side. Bojack tries not to go genle and runs, and in a horrfying sequence is surronded by the ooze as he tries his damndest to escape.. but in the end he can’t. As herb said.. he can’t do anything about this. So speaking to his min’ds version of diane he accepts he probbaly won’t be coming back and we hear a monitor as we fade out. While we know it’s not the end now... there’s no way of telling then. 

The View from Halfway Down is a haunting, beatuflly animated, masterwork, taking 6 seasons worth of communinity and regret and shoving it in bojack’s face in an intresting way, while bringing back characters we thought we’d never see again for one last go round. It was patcually nice to hear LIn Manuel Miranda and Wendy Mallick again,, and Kristan Schaal is always great. The show ALWAYS had a horrifying habit of having it’s penutlimate episode be an utter gutpunch that broke you, with the finale picking up the peices and offering some hope.. and this was no exception. They literally saved the best for last, and it was worth the wait. The view from halfway down may be gahstly,.. but the view of this episode is hauntingly beautiful. 

So that was the list, and it was.. a lot taking 2-3 days to finish all together over both parts. But it was worth it and hopefully we can get back to some regular stuff later today. For now, thank you for reading, and hopefully i’ll see you somewhere in the sunset. 

[peachypascal]

always

summary: you’ve always thought javi was a good guy. if he wasn’t, why would he keep proving you right?

warnings: drinking but that should be it? all fluff, all the time :’) def out of character but it’s my daydream so

word count: 3k

javier pena is an angry man.

it’s been building for a long time, since before he even came to colombia. he’s angry at a lot of things and every morning, new things find themselves being added to his list. javier is angry at his apartment for creaking with every step he takes. he is angry at his job, and he is angry at whoever broke the coffee machine at the embassy and he is angry at steve for a new reason every single hour. he’s angry at god, if there is one, and he’s angry at himself. for everything.

he’s never angry at you, though.

no matter how many snappy remarks or accidental run-ins or spilled drinks, he finds that you...soothe him. things that would send him into a spiraling rage if it were anyone else only make him laugh when they come from you. it almost scares him, but more than that, he looks forward to it. to you. he looks forward to making you laugh, or to your not-so-subtle eye roll. all he ever wants is to feel relaxed like you make him feel without even trying, and if he has to push a few of your buttons to spend a few extra minutes with you, he thinks it’s worth it.

somehow, javier has managed to drag both you and steve to a dingy little bar when all you want to do is go home and fall into bed. for a while, the three of you hadn’t talked; some days, it was harder than others to loosen up. harder to wash the day from your minds. but now, you’re laughing, and steve’s hands are flying around in excitement, and javi’s lips quirk in a tiny smile, the closest it feels he gets to laughing at these stories anymore. after a few drinks, every blink takes a little longer than it should and javi notices. those hardened eyes follow your every move, watching your delayed reactions curiously, but you’re too wrapped up in steve’s stories—he always tells them so well, you think—cheek in hand as you listen with rapt attention.

the musky smell of the bar is starting to give javi a pulsing headache, and steve has been glancing at the clock for the past hour, like he’s been waiting to give an excuse so he can get home. you seem perfectly content, save for the fact that you’ve practically been falling asleep since the three of you got there.

javier adjusts his jacket and reaches for his wallet. “i’m going to settle the bill. we should be heading out.”

you grumble a little, but steve simply nods, beginning to goad you into leaving the booth as javi makes his way to the bar. it amazes him, really, how reluctant you had been to even come, yet you vehemently refused steve’s gentle insistence that the three of you head back home, that you get some much-needed rest after a long week. usually level-headed, you’re huffing and grunting at steve, bleary-eyed himself, guiding you to the door to wait patiently for javi.

he likes this. not that he takes you to the bar to get you drunk, but he always likes how you’re a little easier on him when you’re tipsy. you’ll laugh at his jokes a little quicker than you would before, lean a little heavier on him than you would sober, and look at him a little longer. such scrutiny under anyone else would burn javi, but he enjoys the way you look at him. a tiny part of him hopes that if you look long enough, maybe you’ll find something that’s actually worth looking at. like maybe you’ll be able to sift through all that anger, through that hard shell he puts on, and maybe, hopefully, you want to keep looking.

he isn’t one to...pine. ever. javier is closed off, unable to allow himself the opportunity to allow someone in. he’s unsure, entirely, how steve does it. how he deals with that sick anxiety every hour of the day, worrying about what will happen to connie, god forbid. he feels that same nagging worry when he looks at his partner, but especially when he looks at you. if he were to ever allow someone in, he isn’t sure he would get anything done. no, he would be too worried thinking about whoever it was waiting at home for him. worrying he wouldn’t make it home to them.

but you...he can’t help but pine after you. in the car, your head lolls onto his shoulder, eyes closed in relaxation, and javier’s entire body tightens in something that feels exactly opposite of the anger he’s so used to that it almost makes him shiver; when the three of you walk up the stairs, you rely only on javi to keep you upright, leaning into his side, and when javi drops you off at your door, you lean against the door jamb and frown at him.

“what’s wrong now?” he chuckles, bracing his hands on his hips.

“i don’t want to go home.”

javier shifts his weight and raises a challenging brow at you. “well, you’re already here, hermosa, all you have to do is walk through the door.”

it does nothing to wipe the frown off your face, your head tilting in what you drunkenly hope is just cute enough to be convincing, though you’re sure you just look sloppy. “can i come to yours, javi? please? i can bring a video and you can make those drinks you make...please?”

your words pull at something deep inside of him, something he can’t quite deny, and he knows he should send you inside, especially considering how exhausted you seem, but you’re as close as he’s ever seen you get to begging, and he aches to spend even just a second longer with you, so he sighs softly and waves his hand. “go get your video, then.”

you break into a hazy grin, scrunching your nose up at him. “are you gonna go make those drinks?”

he chuckles once more, thumbing at his chin. “get your tape.”

the drinks, he can get away with. you’re so distracted as it is, drunk enough that even if he poured a little juice into a glass, you wouldn’t notice a thing. you let yourself in with a tape that he’s already seen, but it hardly matters to him, because you’re giggling, already putting it in the player with a sly look over at him.

he isn’t unfamiliar with women in his apartment. no, in fact, he’s rather used to it. this, though, he isn’t quite used to. he doesn’t watch movies with women, he doesn’t pretend to make cocktails for them, and he certainly doesn’t feel a pounding in his heart with those women. but this is you, traveling across the room to lean against the counter with that sweet, mischievous smile it seems you only develop when you’re drunk. you’re swaying, a little too much for his liking, and he can’t help the smitten grin he shoots you. “go sit down.”

“come sit with me,” you insist, and god, you’re so dependent when you’re tipsy like this, he has to laugh.

“alright, alright. go sit, i’ll just be a second,” he promises, looking at you through his lashes.

it’s a delicate art, being around you alone. not like it’s the first time, and it most certainly won’t be the last, but the two of you can’t seem to find a good place to settle; either he annoys you or he’s your best friend, he makes you laugh or you can barely be near him. tonight, he figures, he’s on your good side, somehow. he vows not to take it for granted. he sits a healthy distance away from you on the couch and hands you your juice, and though the movie has already begun without him, he doesn’t mind one bit. he’s too busy watching you.

you don’t seem to mind either, because while your gaze is trained in the direction of the television, your eyes have glazed over, doing nothing but swirling your drink in your glass, seemingly deep in thought. javi has only been sitting for a minute before you’re shifting in your seat, tucking your feet beneath you and turning to face him. his lips twitch in mirth but he says nothing, only turning to look at you. lazily, you smile, holding your glass close to your chest and resting your cheek on the back of the couch.

“you aren’t even watching the movie,” he points out.

“i’ve seen it,” you murmur, eyes bleary as you blink back at him. he says nothing, only admiring the sight of you in the dim yellow lighting of his apartment. there’s a long moment of contemplative silence, where javi listens to you breathe and you listen to nothing but your thoughts. the movie is long forgotten, not that it had gotten much attention in the first place, and a tiny, knowing smile begins pulling at your lips as you close your eyes.

“what are you smiling about?” javi asks, and you crack an eye open as your smile grows wider.

“you lied to me, javi,” you lilt. his brow furrows, confusion clouding his thoughts until you swirl your drink again. “this isn’t what you used to make.”

even half-conscious, you’re more perceptive than he is when he’s fully alert. “no, it isn’t.”

with a groan, you set your drink on the coffee table. “you’re a good guy.” and no, he wouldn’t use those words to describe himself. he doesn’t think he’s ever met someone who would use those words to describe him, but you keep talking before he can point out your glaringly obvious mistake. “most guys would have brought me back here and had me drink until i was blind, but not you.”

a soft laugh shakes his shoulders and warms your chest. “that’s not a mark of a good man, querida,” he says. “that’s just what any decent person would do.”

you shake your head, frowning at him. “you just don’t want to admit that you care, javi. but you’re a good guy. i’ve always thought so.”

“always as in since you met me, or always as in since i let you in my apartment tonight?” he shoots back, smiling smally at your giggle.

“both,” you answer honestly. “always, always.” javier doesn’t reply, but it doesn’t seem like you’re waiting for one, because you untuck your legs and stretch them out as well as you can on the small couch, just barely out of his reach. “you don’t give yourself enough credit, javier.”

javi sighs, looking back at the television. “you’re awful complimentary when you’re drunk, you know that?”

you hum, laying your head down. “you don’t hear it enough. you’re so good, javi.”

“you’re just babbling,” he says quietly, his chest tight with adoration as he watches you yawn.

without a second thought to his dismissal, as though you hadn’t even heard him, you change the subject. “i’m really tired.”

“let’s get you home,” he suggests, but you shake your head, hands lazily scrambling for the blanket he had draped half-heartedly on the back

“can i stay?” you ask quietly, trying to blink the sleep out of your eyes, though you seem to be failing miserably.

“here?” he asks, brows high in surprise, and you laugh quietly, your eyes finally closing.

“of course, here.”

he can’t exactly tell you no, especially not when you’re nuzzling further into the couch, already practically asleep, and he huffs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. of course, it’s only right that he finally feels that he’s getting somewhere with you only for you to fall asleep. javier allows himself half a moment to look at you, cuddling into the blanket you’ve curled around, before he stands up to not only straighten your blanket, but the apartment as well. he rewinds your tape and turns off the television, pours out your juice before washing the glasses, and checks, double-checks, and triple-checks that the front door is locked before he purses his lips, glancing back at you for another self-indulgent glance, and then he’s turning on his heel to close himself in his bedroom.

when javier wakes up, you aren’t in his apartment.

not like he expected much else. it wasn’t like he was going to wake you up with breakfast, or wake you up at all. in fact, he had worried all night about whether or not he should hide in his room all morning until he heard you leave, or if he should go about his business as though you weren’t even there, or if he should leave the apartment altogether. when he lets himself out of his bedroom, you’re already gone, his blanket thrown across his couch in a way that seems effortlessly styled.

it bites at him a little bit, that you just left. you have no obligation to tell him goodbye, especially when you’ll see him on monday anyway, but perhaps a tiny, tiny part of him had looked forward to you being here when he woke up. the smallest part.

he’s about to kick himself all the way back to his bedroom when there’s a knock at his door. javier breathes out softly in relief. without even looking, he knows. there’s no one else it could be.

you’re waiting for him with two cups of coffee, looking decidedly more fresh and awake than the last time he had seen you, and he braces one hand on the door jamb, raising a brow. after a moment of neither of you saying something, you huff impatiently, gesturing at him with one of the coffees. “well, are you going to let me in, or what?”

javi’s head tilts to the side before he steps away, allowing you the space to come inside. “what’re you doing here?”

“well, you didn’t have a problem with me being here last night, what’s with the switch-up?” you ask lowly, setting the drinks on his table.

he considers a reply for a moment before he decides to say nothing. instead, he follows you a little closer, fingers brushing over the coffee cups on his table with a contemplative look at you. “what’s this?”

“ask another question, pena,” you bite, gesturing to the cups. “it’s coffee, what does it look like?”

“i can see that.” he rolls his eyes. “i want to know why you brought it here.”

swallowing your pride, you clear your throat and shift on your feet, avoiding eye contact. “i wanted to thank you for putting up with me last night.”

he stares back at you blankly. “you were awake for less than twenty minutes,” he says quietly.

it’s a credit to you, at least, that you hadn’t kept him up all night to annoy him, but you still feel that anxiety clawing at you, that nervous buzz javi always lights in your chest. “still,” you insist, pushing the paper cup closer to him. “sorry that i bothered you at all. i feel bad.”

javier rubs at the angry wrinkle that forms between his brows with a shake of his head. “you didn’t bother me,” he says, rolling his eyes again when you huff and begin to fight with him. “really, you didn’t. you stroked my ego a little and then fell asleep.” he shrugs, and you frown, glancing up at him.

you push the drink closer to him yet again, pursing your lips when he finally lifts it up and takes a sip. not that you had expected him to turn a free drink down, but you let out a quiet breath. he sits down, silently gesturing for you to sit across from him. you grab your own drink, holding it close as you sit down, watching javier carefully and considering your next words.

“also,” you say quietly, so softly that his ears strain to listen to you. “i wasn’t just babbling, last night.”

he sucks in a quiet breath, looking up at you through his lashes. “oh?”

you look over his shoulder, staring at the wall behind him so you don’t have to look him in the eyes when you start spilling to him. “you’re a good guy. and an asshole, but only because you...care so much. i know that we butt heads but i really have always thought you were a good guy. i’ve always cared about you, javi. i’ve always—” you cough, looking back down at your drink. “y’know. anyway.”

for the first time since you had met him, javier pena has nothing to say. well, really, he has a lot to say, but every single idea is fighting for his attention at once, and he struggles to settle on one, so finally, finally, after what feels like the longest, most uncomfortable silence of your life, he says dumbly, “i didn’t know.”

and you nod once, feeling like there’s nothing else for you to do. “oh.”

“yeah.”

“well...now you do.”

if you didn’t want to die so much, you would laugh. it is, after all, embarrassing how poorly the two of you are handling this. two grown adults should know how to have a conversation like this, and one should know how to let the other down, and they—

“i have, too,” he says, vulnerable but puffed up, like he’s still trying to come off as though he’s controlling the conversation. and then, in a way that makes you wonder if he really does control the situation, he smiles teasingly, “y’know.”

exasperatedly, you kick at his leg. “you’re an asshole, you know that?”

“and apparently, that appeals to you,” he laughs, reaching across the table to grab your hand when you begin grumbling at him. he pulls your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles in an uncharacteristically sweet move. “hey,” he whispers, catching your eyes, and you glare at him as harshly as you can when he leans into your hand, pressing your palm against his stubbled cheek. “i mean it. i have.”

he presses a kiss to the palm of your hand and you can’t help but believe him, your head tilting as you looked at him. “yeah?”

“i wouldn’t let just anyone sleep on my couch, y/n.” he rolls his eyes, but you just smile. “i’ve always wanted you.”

javier pena is an angry man. he’s angry at his job and his life and his god. he’s angry at a lot of things, all the time, but he’s never angry at you. couldn’t be if he tried.

[novantinuum]

The Shatter Wish

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: Teen Audiences (TW: Discussions about suicide, suicide ideation.)

Words: 1K~

Summary: You and Spinel have a blunt conversation while sitting on the edge of one of the palace’s high balconies one day. (Steven POV, second person.)

Disclaimer: This was actually written long before Steven Universe Future. As always, I take personal liberties on the way I depict Steven’s struggle with mental health, and acknowledge and respect that no two fans’ interpretation will be the same. In the end, this was mostly written as a vent fic, so. Please do keep that in mind, and tread carefully, considering the warnings above.

I actually have multiple more parts to this, but. Given the delicate topics they broach, I’m unsure about sharing them. Maybe one day. 

____

You’re 16 years and 2 months old (give or take a few days) when you finally realize you want to die.

Internally, you tend not to state this desire with such a blunt attitude. Externally... you’d never state this desire at all. But logically, in that tiny sliver of brain left that’s still able to conceptualize the world around you with some meager sense of rationality, it’s as simple as addition. Any lingering wish to perish, or to disappear, or for one’s body to cease to be, to phase out of reality forever— yadda yadda, any newfangled, metaphoric, delicate way you could ever dream up to describe it— is merely paper thin foil wrapped around a death wish.

Most days, you flat out don’t want to exist. 

Ergo, you want to die.

It’s such a simple leap in logic that you’re mildly surprised you didn’t come to this conclusion months earlier. Not too surprised, though. When most of one’s later childhood is spent in a constant state of threat and hyper-vigilance, you quickly become acclimated to such feelings. And eventually, with time, you can’t remember how it truly feels to meet any should-be-shocking scenario with more than numb acceptance. 

Hell, you can’t remember the last time you truly felt like anything, past the facade of all your too-big smiles and easy laughter. 

You’re so tired of all this.

“You ever just... want to stop?” you asked Spinel on impulse that day, dangling your feet off the edge of the palace balcony you’re both sitting on.

(You can’t help but gaze impassively at the vast drop below you, knowing full well that— if you so wanted— you could push yourself off at any moment... and choose... not to float. Thanks to your latent healing ability you know the impact would merely hurt instead of escorting you straight out of this mortal plane, but at least hurt feels like something.)

“Stop what, dummy?” she says, with a snort of laughter and a punch to your shoulder. It‘s far harder than she probably intends, but you barely wince. You’re well used to her unaware force by now. “Or is this supposed to be some sorta guessin’ game?”

You and Spinel aren’t exactly friends. At least not to the extent that you might call people like, say, Connie or Peridot or Lars friends. You don’t willingly ‘hang out.’ (Even today, you’re only here sitting on the edge of this balcony together because you wanted to have an audience with the Diamonds about various Gem society matters and they’re currently busy dealing with a cluster of unruly Pyropes.) You’ll probably never greet Spinel with anything more than a polite smile. Today is, in fact, actually the longest duration of time you’ve spent alone together since she nearly killed you two months back. But you suppose her intimate experience with apathy mixed with your lack of emotional investment with her is all the more reason to trust that— unlike literally everyone else you know— she won’t blow a big fuss over the topic you’re about to broach. 

After all, why would she care? Two months ago she wanted you dead anyways.

“No, no,” you shake your head. “It’s not a game. I meant stop as in... stop. End. Cease to be.”

All her enthusiasm brakes to an instant halt as she narrows her eyes at you incredulously. “You’re kidding, right? You’re asking... me— abandoned for thousands of years in a stagnating garden, me— If I ever thought about... well.” She blows a raspberry, and sticks her thumb to the ground. “Non-existence?”

You wait. She’s not finished yet. You may not know her that well, but even someone with a minimum of two interactions with this Gem would glean enough to understand her underlying nature: that she thrives off being the center of attention. It’s a vice you try your best to avoid slipping into yourself, when you’re not otherwise saddled with duty to Gemkind and unable to avoid the spotlight.

(After all, it’s easier existing these days when no one’s watching. When you don’t have to play pretend that everything’s Normal and Fine when it’s most definitely Not.)

“Gee, of course I did,” she says, sure enough. “Back in the olden days of Homeworld, they used to call that the ‘shatter wish.’ A colloquialism, that. All manner of Gems would think it one day or another, don’t matter their role. Beryls, pearls, quartzes. They’d eventually grow weary of the ceaseless dirge of Gem society, and would inwardly beg for release from the cycle.”

Your brows knit together, listening intently. “Release?”

“Some tried to shatter themselves,” she explains somberly. “Others purposefully sabotaged their own positions to convince their superiors to do the shattering for them. And then cowards like me, we were too timid to do anything but imagine that we never existed in the first place. But it’s a shatter wish all the same. Doesn’t matter how you envision it happening. And stuff like that...” Spinel pauses, pursing her lips as she stares beyond, at the hustle and bustle of Homeworld far below. “Even with the good times, it doesn’t just go away, y’know?”

Even after you stop talking to her, and you force your eyes away from the thousand foot drop beyond the balcony you’re perched on, even after your routine meeting with the Diamonds, even after you finally warp back to Earth and feel its familiar gravity reassert its hold on your weary body, you can’t stop thinking about what she said.

About the shatter wish...

...we were too timid to do anything but imagine that we never existed in the first place.

You’ve definitely dreamed of non-existence, that’s for sure... whether that’s by never being born, or being shattered at the hands of the Diamonds for crimes you didn’t personally commit, or something else entirely... And it’s been like this for a long time, since your early teens, you realize, cataloguing this new fact in your mind as easily as if it‘s of no more concern than today’s weather. 

So in a way, you guess a broken part of you has always wanted to die. 

Until now, you simply never had the words for it.

[lillia-leonhartfav]

Lost in the Pages, Birds of Paradis Chapter One

Previous Chapter Here.

847

"Man, I thought Shadis was gonna kill potato girl." Connie said with a sigh in his voice, closing his eyes as he leaned over the wooden beam before him. Standing up on the deck of one of the cabins designated for sleeping, right besides him remains none other than Marco Bodt.

Behind him? Mina Carolina, Eren Yeager, and Armin Arlert.

"I know, what a hell of a first day." Eren said from behind, making his way over to Marco and Connie. The two boys made space for the brunette, as he came between them. Armin's eyes didn't falter away from the sight of the brown ponytail running at a distance, feeling sympathy for Sasha in the moment as the sun pelted it's set above her head.

"It's almost funny, being told to run to the sunset didn't seem to bother her nearly as much as losing meal privileges for the next five days." Eren went on, as Mina walked out from behind Connie and Marco, standing next to Eren and leaning against the same beam of wood they'd all been gradually adding their weight to.

"She's from Dauper, if I remember right that's a small hunting village up in the mountains." Connie made it known what he knew about Sasha, the bare minimum given from her previous introduction before everyone. Eren's eyes shifted away from Sasha, and onto a wagon that was being pulled up the hill of the cadet grounds, towards the fences that should mean only one thing.

"What's that over there?" Pointing a dinger in the direction, Mina tweaked her eyes over for a good look. "Those are drop outs." She said in response to his question, "But it's only the first day." Armin tagged along in the conversation, walking across the boards of the porch to get over to Eren and Mina.

"That's how it is. You can't handle the pressure? You gotta leave." Everyone shifted their eyes towards Eren, Connie lulled his head over, and pushed more of his weight forwards into the railing before him. Marco loosened up his stance, and pulled himself away from the wood at the sight of Connie pushing in more. A soft smile on his lips as he allowed the shorter boy more space, not wanting to test this wood more than it's already been pushed.

"They'd rather pull plants than fight." As Eren finished, Marco found himself pulling away from Connie and towards Eren, lifting up his hand as he spoke. "I know about some of us, but you never mentioned where you were from, Eren." A simple question, returned with a light smile on Eren's lips as he reached out for Armin. Plopping a firm grasp on the shoulder of his friend, a firm shake as he looked back over to Marco.

"The same place he's from, from Shinganshina." Connie's eyes widened, and a lump in Marco's throat was swallowed. Mina gave Eren a double take, as Armin just stood there with his friends hand on his shoulder.

"Oh— well, that means-"

"You saw it!" Connie cut off Marco, who was the more uncomfortable of the two upon hearing that initial statement. More thrown off by Connie's outright state of immediate questioning, the assumptions that come along with saying he's from Shinganshina.

Titans.

"You were there that day!" Marco quickly turned on his heel, a bead of sweat making it past his cheekbone as he snagged an index finger towards Connie. "Hey, c'mon-"

"The colossal one— did you see it?!" Ignoring Marco's outright attempt at getting Connie to avoid digging up a strangers trauma, especially one with titans. Connie's eyes were wide with curiosity, as Eren's voice softly dropped before he got the chance to use it again.

"Yeah. Yeah I did." Eren replied softly, removing his hand from Armin's shoulder, and putting it next to his other hand on the beam of the wooden barrier before them. Mina exhaled with a nervous air, as everyone around them slowed their conversation to a a stop.

In that moment of uncomfortable silence, Mina Carolina's mind wandered back to the girl who she stood beside during the initial orientation for the cadets of the 104th training corps. Who knows if it was an attempt to lighten the mood, or to just say what most people had previously thought about. One way or another, Eren and Armin's attention went straight to her as soon as she opened her mouth to speak.

"There's a girl here from Stohess." Marco's eyes moved over to Mina, a glimmer of thankfulness in them at the changing of the topic, regardless of the fact that he knows they'll be on it again just as quickly as it was dropped. But Marco didn't care, he joined in on Mina's conversation in the hopes it would be enough to keep Connie's interest at bay temporarily.

"I heard she's from a military family, think that she'll be any good?" Marco asked, as Eren brought his hands up above his head. Holding onto his elbows, and arching his back.

"Probably just trying to find an easy way into the Military Police, if you ask me." Armin brought his hand up to his friends shoulder, and gave it a subtle push. Not hard enough to knock Eren off his feet, but hard enough to get him to look over at his friend.

"What was that supposed to be for?" Pulling both his arms down off the top of his head, and crossing them over his chest. Armin gave a blank stare to Eren, and shook his head.

"You don't know her, none of us do. I bet we're not the only one's making assumptions about her based off of what little we know." Trying to get the point in to Eren that being so upfront about judgments and ideas about a person isn't the right thing to do.

"Not to mention, it might be uncomfortable to explain that thought to her yourself if she caught you." Armin added, pointing an index finger out behind Eren to get him to look. Turning around on his heels, the wood under his boot creaking into the weight of his turn. Eyes landing firm on two figures, as they walked towards the circle of cabins spread out among the training grounds.

"Right, sure." Eren said softly, removing his hands from over his chest, and rubbing the back of his neck. He turned to Connie, Mina, and Marco. Said something about heading inside to the mess hall, while Armin kept his eyes out and stared at you from the distance.

 You kept walking towards them all, unknowing of Armin's eyes unable to look away from you at the Cabin. Making his way closer to the beam, as everyone around him on the deck of the cabin gradually moved away. Heading towards the mess hall, Eren piped up and shouted something towards Armin as he only now became aware of his lack of presence along with him.

"Armin! You're gonna come, right?"

"In a minute, just give me a second." Waving off his friend, earning a shrug of the shoulders as Eren made off on his way, with Marco and the others with him the whole time. Clasping both his hands firmly over the wooden beam, fingers curled right over it.

Soft, e/c eyes would do anything but look right at him. Unaware of the blonde boy staring at you, trying to pick apart the pieces of who you just might be out of his own curiosity. Walking with a light smile on your face, holding up a casual conversation with a taller male next to you.

He's older than Eren and I, that's for sure. Maybe by two years, at the most.

Adorned in a green shirt and brown pants for his plain clothes, broad shoulders and short blonde hair. Parted in the middle, two little strands sticking out on his forehead that were just a touch longer than the rest of his length. He stood taller than you, laughing at something you said out of Armin's ear shot.

Even by the clothes you wore, it was obvious you came from a life that not many people here would be able to envision themselves having. Armin's weight shifted forwards, propping his arm up on the surface of the beam below him. Bending one of his knees, and dipping his face into one of his hands. Propping a chin up in his palm, as his eyes followed you.

A long, baby blue skirt that reached the length of your knees. You'd occasionally pull it up, but the skirt would drop back down to your hips and allow it's hem to kiss at your knees again. Like it was too big for you, as if the clothes were hand-me-downs.

It's texture looked like silk, and each pleat looked like it was set in permanently, like crisp folds on parchment. You wore a white blouse, top buttons undone. Nothing in the line of the collar, popped up against your neck. Hair tied back into a low bun, save for a couple stray strands of h/c that stuck out behind your ears, hairline and nape of the neck.

Then your form became much more visible, and the faint glimmer of your voice could be heard as you got close enough to interact with. Armin's eyes widened at the realization, darting away from you and the boy by your side as soon as he'd understood he didn't want to get caught staring at you.

He doesn't even quite fully understand why he stayed back in the first place, but his feet just didn't give him the option to leave as soon as you stepped in his eyesight for the very first time. Placing his palm on the side of his face, hearing you laugh at something the person besides you said this time. More clear, not a single ring on the water of your voice.

Smooth.

"Alright, Reiner, I appreciate you showing me the way here." You said so politely, naming the boy next to you on your way to the mess hall. Armin's feet felt like they were glued in place, as Reiner spoke back up again in response to you while passing Armin himself.

"No problem at all, don't even mention it. I don't mind saving a spot for you either—"

"That's fine actually, thank you but I've already got a seat." Armin held his breath, and waited for the two of you to completely pass him. Letting go of the beam, and holding onto his chest. He picked his head up and put it back in the direction of you, and watched as you went up the steps to the mess hall one by one.

But you didn't go in when the other one did. You stayed on the raised deck of the building, and made your way over to the wooden beam railing. Placing your hands around it, and loosening up your shoulders. Staring out for a few moments, your eyes latching onto various different faces.

"Is she looking for someone?" Armin mumbled to himself, feeling like he's in too deep to just leave now.

After all, this is the girl who's name was at the forefront of everyone's mind earlier.

Even he's curious, and he's not quite so sure about what to make of himself for that, and how he's stood here this whole time.

Your shoulders sunk down, and your eyes drooped down into a disappointed gaze. A soft frown took over your lips, as you shook your head and turned around. Hand dragging along the railing, right before shoving it back down by your side. Walking into the doors of the mess hall, leaving Armin to wonder what that was about.

And it wasn't even any of his business.

But watching you walk into the mess hall was his sign that it was time to go in. He'd kept Eren and the other's waiting long enough.

[nineteenninety-six]

Meet me back in Texas

Not sure if I completely like this one as it’s a bit messy and all over the place but I’ve been dying to do some Pedro/Javier content

Javier Peña x Reader

Summary: Reader is no longer sure if she can continue living in Colombia with Javi

[PART TWO]

WORD COUNT: 2266

(Y/N) dejectedly stared at the plate opposite her, it was stone cold, just like the one in front of her. She pushed herself away from the table with a disappointed sigh, it was nearing one am and she had to admit to herself that Javier wasn’t coming home anytime soon.

Shimmying out of the dress she wore for the occasion, (Y/N) let the tears she had been holding in for the past hour fall. She wasn't all that surprised but Javier had repeatedly promised that he'd be back home earlier so that they could have dinner together but once again, Escobar had taken priority and Javier was most likely off somewhere in Colombia trying to chase him. After switching off all the lights and placing the food into containers and into the fridge, (Y/N) slipped into bed and cried herself to sleep.

As she woke up and got herself ready for the day ahead of her, (Y/N) realised that Javier didn’t end up coming home at all. She didn't want to be reactionary but she was wondering if this was the life for her; late and lonely nights, staying up late wondering if Javier was okay, wondering if every person she encounters works for Escobar and if they were going kill her. It was times like this where she admired Connie greatly.

Deciding to head to work early so she could distract herself, (Y/N) quickly locked up the house and started the twenty-minute walk it took to the local hospital, Javier usually dropped her off on his way to work but since he wasn’t here, she had to go by herself. 

(Y/N) walked briskly to the hospital, her hand tightly clenched around the pocketknife Javier had begged for her to carry around, he initially wanted her to carry a gun but she refused to so they settled on a knife. 

Breathing a sigh of relief as she approached the hospital, (Y/N) hurriedly skipped up the stairs and slipped into the building, thankful that nothing had happened on her journey over. The hospital was still quiet, most of the patients were still asleep and the doctors and nurses were making their rounds, (Y/N) quietly made her way to the floor she was supposed to be on and got stuck in with work, losing track of time.

"(Y/N)!" Connie's call of her name broke her focus from the papers she was looking over.

A glance to her watch told her it was 10 am, the actual time her shift should have started if she hadn't decided to go in early. Her and Connie often shared shifts and that along with being the partners of DEA agents allowed them to become really close friends. They didn't even know they were connected through Javier and Steve until a group dinner but after that, they became even closer, glad at finding someone who was going through the exact same thing they were.

"Connie" (Y/N) smiled at her friend.

"Dr Garcia said you came in early" Connie went straight to the point.

"I woke up early so I decided to come in early" (Y/N) explained before focusing back on the paperwork 

"Did Javi drop you off? I knocked earlier as I was leaving but no-one answered" 

(Y/N) shook her head, "Javi didn't come home last night so I'm assuming him and Steve had to stay late for a lead or something." 

When Connie didn't immediately respond, (Y/N) turned to face her and frowned, Connie was biting her lip, a look of pity on her face. 

"Steve came home last night" It wasn't really a question but Connie nodded anyway.

(Y/N) squeezed her eyes shut, unable to believe that Javier had ditched her.

"Do-do you think he's cheating on me?" (Y/N) whispered.

Connie quickly pulled her up and dragged them into a supply closet, the only place where they'd get any sort of privacy.

"Don't be ridiculous, Javi loves you" Connie scolds her.

“He promised me last week that he would come home earlier than usual so we can have a dinner date together. I spent all day yesterday preparing the food he likes the most and he doesn’t even appear, I didn’t even get a telephone call saying that he can’t come. I sat at that table until one in the morning, Connie and he didn’t even come home at all.” (Y/N) sobbed.

“Oh, sweetheart” Connie brought (Y/N) into a hug, shushing her.

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

“You want to break up with Javi?” Connie couldn’t believe what she was hearing

“I-I don’t know. I love him with all my heart but living in Colombia and worrying if I’m going to get attacked by one of Escobar’s men because I’m connected to Javi, weighs so much on me.”

“Talk to him. Talk to Javi before you do anything rash.” Connie convinced her

“You’re right, yeah. I’ll talk to him.” (Y/N) wiped her tears and gave Connie a hug, thankful for the woman’s advice and friendship.

Neither of them brought up Javier for the rest of the day, focusing on their work instead. As their shift was winding to a close, they prepared for the walk home something they did often as they lived in the same building. Steve was waiting for Connie in his car outside of the hospital but he stepped out once he noticed them walking down the steps,

“I’d thought I leave early and take you ladies home” Steve explained to them before they could even ask, flashing a grin to his wive.

(Y/N) was grateful, she hated walking back to the apartment when it was late and dark. Initially, Steve and Javier would alternate taking the women home from the hospital, taking a brief break to drive over before heading back to work but as they grew closer to catching Escobar it meant that her and Connie had to make their own way home.

“I knew there was a reason I married you.” Connie quipped, giving Steve a hug and a kiss.

“Is Javi still at the station?” (Y/N) asked

“Uh yeah he should be”

“Would it be too much to ask if you are able to take me there?”

“Of course not. We’ll drop Connie off first and then I’ll take you.” Steve could tell something was up but decided not to ask knowing Connie would probably tell him that evening.

“Thank you.” (Y/N) gave him a grateful smile before she slipped into the back seat.

(Y/N) sat in silence as they drove to the apartment building, listening to Connie and Steve tell each other about their day. (Y/N) waved Connie goodbye and told her that she’ll see her tomorrow as they pulled up outside of the apartment and Connie excited the car, Steve waited until Connie got in safely and (Y/N) had moved into the front seat before leaving.

“Thanks again for taking me, Steve.” (Y/N) watched as the streets sped by as they drove through the streets of Bogotá.

“No problem.” Steve glanced at her, “Do you wanna tell me what’s up? You don’t have to but Connie will probably tell me anyway”

(Y/N) sighed, “I don’t know if I can stay here in Colombia with Javi anymore. I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

“I thought you guys were fine, what spurred this on?” 

“Last night, I made dinner for the two of us after he promised me he would come home early last week. I stayed up to one am waiting for him and he didn’t come home at all. At first, I thought the two of you had to go somewhere but then Connie told me that you came home last night.”

“Jesus fuckin’ christ Javi” Steve muttered under his breath, “Have you spoken to him?”

“That’s why I asked you to take me to the office, I’m not sure the next time he’d be at home so that I can speak to him.” (Y/N) explained

“You do whatever you think is right but remember Javi loves you more than anything. The late nights are him wanting to catch Escobar as soon as possible so that he can move back to the states with you.” 

“I know Javi loves me and I love him too. Me leaving wouldn’t be me breaking up with him but rather just a small break. I still want to get married to him and spend the rest of my life with him but the longer I stay in Colombia, the worst I feel.”

“I’m glad you still want to be Javi because he said I could be the best man at his wedding and I expect him to keep his promise.” Steve grinned at her causing her to laugh.

The fact that Javi wanted to get married to her wasn’t news to her, they had been speaking about it for a while and both of them knew that it was going to happen at one point.

“If you’re the best man, does that mean Connie is the maid of honour?” 

“I doubt she’ll have it any other way” Steve said making both of them laugh again.

Steve pulled up outside of the station but stopped her before she could leave the car, “Hey, do whatever is best for you. Javi will understand and support you.”

“Thank you, Steve.”

“You want me to wait?”

“Nah, go back home to Connie, I’m sure Javi will take me home.”

Steve nodded and (Y/N) stepped out of the car, waving as Steve drove away.

(Y/N) walked through the station, knowing the route to Javier’s and Steve office like the back of her hand. When she arrived she peered through the open door and saw Javier bent over the desk with a cigarette in his hand.

“Hey..” (Y/N) knocked on the door to announce her presence before she stepped in. 

Javier looked up and expression turned into surprise when he saw (Y/N) standing in front of him.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here darlin’?” Javier stood up and made his way over to her, sweeping her up into a crushing hug.

“I missed you. You didn’t come home last night.” (Y/N) hugged him back, just as tightly.

“I know honey, I’m so sorry. I got some intel and got carried away.” Javier pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Javier dragged Steve’s chair over to his desk and placed it next to his and guided (Y/N) to sit on it before he sat in his.

“I know I promised I’d be home for dinner but the quicker we catch Escobar the quicker we can go back home to Texas.”

“You didn’t even call Javi.” 

“Lo siento mi amor” Javier took (Y/N)’s hands into his and pressed a gentle kiss to them.

“Javi...we need to talk.” (Y/N) was slightly scared but she knew she had to do this.

Javier could hear the seriousness in her voice and squeezed her hands encouragingly and kept silent so she didn’t feel pressured.

“I love you Javi, with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you but I don’t think I can stay here with you in Colombia anymore. I feel like I’m suffocating living here, worrying that every person that I come across might be working for Escobar or staying up all night wishing and praying that you haven’t been murdered is too much for me Javi.” (Y/N) began to sob as she was speaking.

Javier pulled her into a hug and pressed multiple soft kisses to her head, shushing her and slowly rocking from side to side,

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

“Oh Javi, I’m so sorry.” (Y/N) wrapped her arms around him, not wanting to let go.

“Listen to me, don’t apologize.” Javier pulled back so that he could look into (Y/N)’s eyes, “If you don’t feel safe or comfortable here then you should go home.”

“Aren’t you upset?”

“I’m devastated but I love you more than anything. I haven’t treated you fairly since we’ve come down but you alive, well and happy in Texas is better than you upset and uncomfortable in Bogotá,”

“I love you.” (Y/N) pressed a kiss to Javier’s lips 

“I love you too, mi vida.”

One week later

(Y/N) and Javier stood in the airport wrapped in a hug as they waited for the call for (Y/N)’s plane to San Antonio.

“Make sure papá stays out of trouble whilst you’re there.”

(Y/N) snorted into his shoulder, “I don’t think anyone can keep your father out of trouble Javi.”

“Hmm, that’s true.”

“Sounds like someone I know.” Javier pinched her bum at her jab causing her to laugh.

“Attention passengers. We will now start boarding flight 849 to San Antonio, Texas at gate seven”

The couple sighed as they pulled away from each other,

“That’s me.” 

“Call me when you get home, no matter what time.” Javier reminded her

“Of course.”

The couple shared goodbye a kiss that contained a lot of emotions and unspoken words.

“You kill that bastard Escobar and you come back to me okay?” (Y/N) peered up at Javier.

“I’ll come back to you no matter what.”

They shared one more kiss before (Y/N) shouldered her purse and walked away to her gate, glancing one more time at Javier before she disappeared behind the crowd.

[mimssides]

07734: Chapter 6

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Warning: Right after the cut Consus has some gorey intrusive thoughts! It’s all safe again when the POV changes!

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“I did not mean to trick him.”

POV Consus

I stood over their mutilated bodies. I was ramming a knife in Roman’s shoulder and cutting off an arm, muscles and bits and pieces of flesh dangling from the bone.

I was laughing and celebrating my reign of terror as everything around me rotted away.

And I was laughing. But I felt so sick and my head hurt so much. And I wanted to cry. I needed to cry so much but it was not happening and I was so lonely. I was sitting in blood and guts and I just wanted to be held but I was not worth it-

___

POV Logan

“Remus, as much as I do think that he does deserve to face some consequences-” I began but was cut off by the trashman himself.

“Oh, I’m not laughing because this is funny, nerd. I’m laughing because he has fucked himself royally with taking control over me. Like, this is seriously bad and I can’t stop it because he’s still fucking with my powers. I can’t do shit like this.”

My eyes went wide and I watched as Patton, Janus and Virgil just reacted the same. Consus had figuratively trapped himself in intrusive thoughts and the side controlling intrusive thoughts was unable to control them since Consus’s powers were still influencing him. This was a nightmarish situation and we still had no idea where Roman was, how to get Thomas out of bed or what was next to do. And as it seemed Patton was starting to cry soon which would not help to calm Virgil down and also would most likely render Janus quite useless.

I needed to get some clarity into this mess. It was the only thing I could offer anyway and I stood tall in front of Remus and began to focus.

“I might be able to clear up your mind, if you allow me to do so. Would that be agreeable with you?” I asked him in the hopes he would comply.

There was a weird look in his eyes for a moment before he cracked a grin and told me: “You helping me, nerdy wolverine? What gives? I thought, my “contributions” aren’t worth anything, so why would ya wanna help me?”

I blinked several times before I shook my head with a scowl and told him: “The intrusive thoughts are not helpful but that is not all you are. You encompass part of Thomas’s creativity, a more mature and darker part, which is vital to Thomas’s future as a video producer. Logically, it makes sense to help you. And additionally, I do not want this situation to stay as it is and we need you for that. So, may I proceed?”

Remus nodded slowly and I rubbed my thumb against my fingers before I lifted them and placed one hand on each side of Remus’s head. Now, that I had felt Consus’s influence I was able to see the orange fog wafting off him and also clinging on Remus. Carefully, I began to let my powers evoke and watched the indigo shadow like beams hit Roman’s head. Slowly, the fog cleared off and I watched Remus’s eyes slowly regain their usual energetic glimmer and his face stopping to look so pale.

Actually, I got the impression that he looked even more energetic than usual and stepped a bit back to give him a once over. He looked rested and his skin was clear and his hair a bit tussled but not greasy at all. He had actually smelled quite nice and I couldn’t help myself but shoot Conus another look, wondering what he had done to them.

___

POV Remus

I finally had my mind back. I clenched and unclenched my fingers and watched my muscles move like they were supposed to. I was my own again and almost I thought about leaving Consus to his thoughts so he could bath in misery for some longer. But then I remembered that I was not one to hold grudges and snapped myself back into his usual attire before I walked towards Consus.

With a wide grin I crouched in front of him and let myself dive into the tasty little nightmares Consus had brought upon himself. They were bloody and violent and were hitting him everywhere where it counted. His adoration for Roman, his fear of responsibility and abandonment. It was twisting his insides and making his head scream in agony and I could not relish it one bit.

“Well, can’t even be angry with the prick,” I mumbled and looked over to Virgil who had knelt down beside him and Patton.

He gulped and furrowed his brows. I sighed and shook my head. With a hand wave my powers retreated and the grip of the thoughts lessened from Consus. I watched as he tumbled forwards, how Patton cradled him in his arms and I clicked my tongue.

“He won’t be able to tell us where Ro is for a while. These pictures are going to haunt him a good few weeks,” I said with a wide grin before I let it drop and rose to my feet.

I watched Virgil wanting to question what I meant when Logan came before and turned towards him as he asked: “Is there not an air of urgency for us to find out where Roman is? How else are we going to get Thomas out of bed?”

I began to chuckle and motioned for Virgil to stand up. Surprisingly, he accommodated my request and I rolled my shoulders with ease before summoning my morning star.

“There is more than one way to get Thomas out of bed. If we scare him enough, he’ll move. Also, judging the wimp here, Ro’s save. He can wait until Connie is able to talk again. I’ll give him around an hour. Until then we’ve gotten Thomas out of bed and you can tell him to talk to his friends or something.”

I was already prepared to sink out and get to Thomas’s side as Janus held me by the arm. I rose my eye brows in curiosity and made out the sickly worried look on his face. Ah, yes. I was dangerous to Thomas. Sure.

“The nerd said already I’m more than intrusive thoughts, Jan. Sorry you never took that into account when you made your schemes,” I snarled and turned away from him.

Not even waiting for Janus to snap back at me, I told, well more like commanded, Virgil and Logan: “Emo, you’re coming with me. I can work with the adrenaline, you give off. Lo, you’ll keep us in check and deal with the man when we’ve shocked him to his feet. Got it?”

I didn’t wait for their confirmation and sunk out with them in tow. It might not have been entirely fair to use the intonation Imagination had always used. But life never was fair and I did not need to have Janus nag me for shit that was not my fault. Even though I almost regretted doing it when the last thing I heard before we sunk out was Consus weeping louder.

___

Quill had come over and was keeping Thomas company for the time being. I didn’t go bloody or gory to get him to wake up, but went for a bit of existential fear with Virgil’s help. It would have been a rather fun project, if it hadn’t been a necessary move to wake our human up. And something like that should never be necessary.

Quill went to the bathroom and Thomas shot Virgil, Logan and me a look. Whispering he asked: “Are we really going to be fine? Are you going to bring Roman back?”

We three sides exchanged a look. Virgil’s look was laced with determination; not getting Roman back was out of question for him. Logan seemed to be just as determined however a little subdued. The shock of Consus’s betrayal had him hit harder than he wanted to let on. And I decided to speak up.

“Don’t know if we’ll be fine but we’re getting Ro. Consus was stupid to do this but he didn’t have any intentions on hurting us our you. Things simply got out hand.”

Thomas eyed me warily and pressed his lips together. He didn’t know how to trust me but he didn’t have another option. The bathroom door opened and we three decided that it was time for us to go. Quietly we bid Thomas goodbye and sunk back into the Mindscape.

With relief I rolled my shoulders and looked around in the living room. Virgil and Logan were looking around too and we soon spotted Consus sitting on the couch with a bottle of water in his hands. Patton sat to his right and Janus stood to his left and turned towards us. I exchanged an icy look with him, wide grin already plastered on my lips, when I found guilt sparkling in his eyes. So much for holding a grudge, I decided and let the cold melt within my demeanour.

“Consus, I see you are conscious again,” Logan stated awkwardly.

I eyed him curiously and observed how Virgil walked towards the orange troublemaker as Logan followed stiffly. I walked a little closer too, but kept my distance. The orange didn’t look up to us. He was still and his hair tousled and greasy. The miserable little thing probably hadn’t showered in a while and I was surprised that the others hadn’t caught onto his more and more depressed state. Usually, they were a little more observant than that.

“I did not mean to trick him.”

I rose my brows and finally strode to the rest, sitting down on the table in front of the couch. Consus looked up and met my gaze. The orange looked younger.

“But he was hurt so much, Remus. There was so much and I could not take it all away at once. It would have hurt him more. So, I gave him the only rest I can give. I do not want this to last forever. I do not want control or power. I do not like control or power. Not like this at least. And not over other sides.”

I clacked my tongue and let my expression change from contemplative to angry to amused to stern and eventually to resigned. His eyes wavered and I shook my head.

“I know, Connie,” I said calmly as he sunk more and more into himself. “I saw what the thoughts were about and what they made you feel. So, I get the intentions behind all of this. And your plan was way better than anything the other twinks could have come up with but – And I don’t like to say this because it really doesn’t fit my brand to be all wise and shit but instead of helping Roman all by yourself, why didn’t you try and tell the others to lay off of him? Like, he’s been overworked as hell and you knew that he wasn’t doing well. You knew all the reasons in fact. So, you could have come to us and told us. But you didn’t and I don’t get why. You’re smarter than J. Always were.”

Consus stayed silent. His eyes were so void and his spirit so hollow. It was disgustingly heart-breaking to watch and I really had a hard time to not, I don’t know, comfort him or something. But I couldn’t as he stood up and was suddenly faintly smiling again. Patton let out a revolting yelp but could not keep the orange from starting to walk towards the hallway.

“He is in my room. Let us get him out,” Consus announced and gave us all a probing look.

With a sigh I got up and walked after him. The others followed and Consus led us to his room upstairs. We went into the other hallway, the hallway of me and Consus. Janus’s door had already moved away and now it was only his and my door on this comedically long hallway.

Consus was moving around sluggishly before he reached for his own door. He turned and shot me a look. Then one to Logan and let out a weak breath. Slowly, he opened the door and we walked inside.

I hadn’t really paid attention when I escaped and it had been quite some time since I had paid the side a visit, so I looked around curiously. The walls were white with a slight tinge of orange in it. Same floor as Thomas’s apartment. There were no pictures on the wall. Nothing was displayed anywhere. There was an empty fruit bowl on the kitchen counter and something twisted hard in my bowels that I actually winced out loud.

“Consus, where are your things?” Virgil asked behind me with sounding like frost before it melts in the first lights of dawn.

He didn’t respond and walked upstairs. That was right, I had come from upstairs and followed him with a bad feeling in my – well, in my everything. Like, my body was screaming that all of this was wrong and off and-

We stood upstairs and there were three more doors on the right side. There weren’t three other doors in my room or in the others as far as I knew. And I looked at them and realized that I had fled out of the on to the most right. There was a sign on its front with my name on it. The one in the middle had Roman’s and the one to the most left-

“Why is my name on this door?” Logan asked before I could even finish the thought.

Consus turned and looked at the teacher with a mellow look.

“It was a security measure,” Consus explained and waved towards the most left door. “You and the twins encompass most of Thomas’s passion and drive. I needed Roman of course, but I could not rule out that you might be overly suspicious of me and figure things out before I had everything ready. So, I made a room for you to rest as well. I also was not entirely sure if I would have to subdue you, Remus. I did not have enough evidence to say if you were still connected enough with Roman to know that he had fallen under my powers or not. It was good that I was careful. I hope it was to your liking.”

I furrowed my brow. I hadn’t really paid attention when I woke up. It had been pleasantly dark, it did smell like something was rotting and I had fallen quite softly on forest floor. My memories came back more clearly and I remembered the chilling sounds of the wind and creatures hiding in the shadows. It was a perfect imitation from the sounds in my own room. I had also a waterbed, which Consus knew because he had been there a few times. But the room hadn’t been a perfect imitation. It was a little less livid and more relaxing but it was close to what I knew. It was a good recreation.

Recreation.

Creation.

 Creation.

I grabbed Consus’s shoulder and asked him intently and with no hint of amusement: “You created these rooms? All three of them?”

Consus gulped. He knew why I was alert. He better knew why I was alert.

“Yes. It-”

“You can’t create things!” Virgil screeched and I nodded icy agreement as Consus shrunk under my and Virgil’s concerned gazes.

“Yes, I can. It just takes a lot more time than for you guys. And energy, I suppose.”

I leaned forwards and lowered myself a little to look directly into his orange eyes. The white was a little yellow-ish and the bruise on his cheek was turning purple. It didn’t look good on him. He did not draw back as I slowly opened my mouth and spoke with the voice.

“Oh, my little puppet... How long did it take you to create them? And what did you give away to sustain it?”

I hadn’t used the voice in so long, I had almost forgotten how sweet and tempting it sounded. I hated it. It was too old and too not me for me to use it. And yet it served its purpose as Consus leaned forwards and rested his forehead against mine. I didn’t miss the longing and nostalgic look in his eyes before he closed them and answered willingly.

“Five months. Things disappeared from my room as I went on. I do not have a bed anymore. And I cannot let out water all the time. The food was gone first but I could eat the left-overs from dinner before I started to get invited to eat with the rest.”

I let the voice drop. It was an old trick of Imagination and for some reason I had inherited it instead of Roman. Maybe because it was too lusty and desire-y for Roman’s theme. I didn’t know and I didn’t care. I pulled away from Consus’s face and gently turned him towards Roman’s door.

“Oh, my little puppet. We’ll get you your stuff back, when this is over. I will make sure it is nice and soft for you. But now you get to show us what you have done for Roman’s room.”

Consus nodded. With an audible gulp he reached for the door handle in the middle and opened the door.

___

@varthandi

@sammy-is-obsessed / @exhaustedfander

@alexisrealgay

@softie-sushi

@wolfs-feder

@just-a-neoclassical-painting

@winter-jay-official

@a-ghostlight-for-roman

@mychemically-imbalanced-romance

@whattheremus

@sarenicide 

[minecraftfan11onscratch]

Connie Howlite Maheswaran AU - The Return

Summary: A giant hand just appeared right above Beach City, slowly descending. Unknownst to the Comet Gems, Connie convinced her father Doug to let her help them, as only she has the weapon that can protect them from any upcoming threat. Unknownst to all of them, they’ll have new troubles to worry about.

Word count: 1,548

---

Connie and Eagle quickly jumped out of a portal made by the latter’s sonic screech. They were close to the Comet Temple, and everything, at least on that part of Beach City, was covered in an ill green light. This has to be the Hand Ship’s fault, Connie thought after noticing that said Ship, which has been descending onto the city ever since afternoon, seemed like it was much closer to the ground than before.

Not only that, but it seemed like, even after Howlite’s canon’s failure to take it down, the Comet Gems were still determined to stop it before it could even come down. Rubellite was there, and so was her two-sided mace, held by her lower pair of hands. “Fire!” Spessartite commanded.

Rubellite immediately proceeded to generate pink-and-white balls of energy, and bash them with her mace’s sides so they could clash full-force at the Hand Ship. It was like a more intense, four-armed baseball swing being performed multiple times. And yet... The ship didn’t even seem a tad bit fazed with the fusion’s offense, much to Rubellite and Spessartite’s horror.

“Stay here,” Connie said, with focus and determination, towards Eagle. “Hopefully, dad won’t need a new daughter.” She continued before rushing up ahead.

While hopelessly watching the Ship increase its speed, Spessartite remarked, with a little shard of hope, “At least Connie’s not here.”

“Except I am!” Connie pointed out, making her presence clear.

“Connie?” Spessartite gasped in shock. Rubellite didn’t even have a chance to utter a word. As soon as she spotted Connie, she violently split herself apart, back onto Pink Pearl and Jasper, who fell face-first onto the sand.

“You really returned!” Jasper exclaimed in a tone that wasn’t clear if she was shocked or overjoyed.

“Kid, get outta here right now!” Pink Pearl demanded desperately as she got up, but before Connie could fully protest, Spessartite spoke, “Connie, get behind any of us!”

Connie reluctantly obeyed, going right behind Spessartite herself, but kept a head out to observe as the Hand Ship descended, creating a heavy sand cloud around the Comet Gems. The Hand made an “offering” motion, and a bubble popped out of the Hand Ship’s palm. It rolled before opening, revealing three figures.

Two of them were familiar; Aquamarine, the small Gem trapped in a crystal ball that Connie befriended; and Nephrite, the Homeworld Gem that was sending Robonoids to spy on Earth’s activity. The new one, however, was strange.

She was very mildly similar to Jasper, only much smaller. Around Connie’s height, in fact. She had a long mane of hair, a purple gem with a hexagonal cut on the chest, diamonds on her knees, and a cape on her shoulders.

“Here, these are the ones who… K-Keep breaking the stuff I make…” Nephrite nervously explained as she and the other two Gems walked forward.

“Really? That’s them?” Amethyst said, not that impressed; her voice was slow and casual-sounding.

“Yes, they are, Amethyst! T-they’re messing up everything!” Nephrite explained, trying and somewhat failing to sound a bit more assertive.

Amethyst sighed and stepped forward. Her face had a scowl not too unlike a school bully, bored enough to seek a new victim to terrify, but being unable to find one that interested them.  “Oh boy… another stupid thing to deal with. Hey, c’mere!”

The purple gem pulled out Aquamarine from behind her grasp, through her hand, but the small gem quickly escaped her grasp. The small blue gem gasped once she realized her half-human friend was actually there.

“Aquamarine...” Connie whispered in surprise.

“Is this, like, their secret hideout?” Amethyst asked, pointing at the Comet Temple.

“Yes...” Aquamarine replied, with a mixture of reluctance, misery, and disdain for the situation she found herself in.

“You all must leave right now!” Spessartite demanded, tightly holding her scythe.

“Yeah! Better scram now, punks!” Jasper joined in, already preparing her crash helmet.

“This ain’t a planet run by Gems!” Pink Pearl exclaimed, her toy-like hammer in her hands.

Amethyst and Nephrite hopped out of the finger they were landing on. Aquamarine was forced to follow, being held on by an entire arm of the purple gem.

“Seriously? Howlite’s not here?” Amethyst said, after doing a quick scan of the opposing gems. “Man, I was hoping to meet her in person! I was sure I could beat her down.”

Connie growled a little after listening to the purple Gem talk about her mother. She’d try to contain it to not get their attention, though.

“But those are her most loyal soldiers?” Amethyst mocked. “A shameless display and an ownerless Pearl? Only the soldier’s prolly worth something! Wait... The heck is that?”

The Comet Gems immediately straightened into fighting positions, ready to fight till’ poofing for their beloved girl.

“I-It’s a Connie... A-At least, they call themselves that.” Nephrite explained.

“She’s not one of them at all! Just a normal human!” Aquamarine lied, in hopes of protecting the only one among the Comet Gems that was her friend.

Amethyst just looked at the little blue gem with an unamused expression before turning back and walking away. “Eh, too easy for me to care about. Just zap them out.”

“O-Okay!” Nephrite said before, reluctantly, commanding the Hand Ship to stand up and prepare a laser beam directed at the Comet Gems.

“Connie, run and save yourself!” Spessartite begged.

“Never!” Connie defied Spessartite’s plea valiantly.

“I can’t let you sacrifice yourself!”

“But you guys are my home, and my family! I can’t leave you behind...”

Connie’s slightly big forehead Gem shone brightly in white, as the tip of her staff poked out of it and the half-Gem girl pulled the rest of it out.

“G-Go.” Nephrite quietly said as the Hand Ship finally fired its beam out of its pointer finger.

“Because, I am too a COMET GEM!” Connie roared bravely as she ran towards the beam and hopped towards it, pointing her staff towards it.

...

Amethyst turned around in genuine shock after witnessing it.

A big wall, crafted with hard light in white color, protecting the Comet Gems. The one responsible for it was apparently the “normal” human Connie, sweating as held onto the staff to keep the barrier up.

“It can’t be... That staff is real!” Amethyst gasped.

Connie collapsed, drained mentally and physically as she allowed the barrier to collapse and the staff to fade away.

“That kid has Howlite’s power!” Amethyst finally realized.

“N-Now you see w-why they sent an escort, right?” Nephrite said, in a friendly but insecure tone.

“Swipe them off of her!” Amethyst commanded.

Nephrite was quick to obey, creating a linear projection beam that separated Jasper, Pink Pearl, and Spessartite from Connie. The explosion lifted a heavy cloud of sand that Connie struggled to even wipe her eyes clean from.

“Why you look like that, Howlite? I thought you looked better.” Amethyst said; at surface level, it seemed like mockery, but deep down there was some curosity as of why she didn’t see the tall, imposing, long-haired Howlite of the legends.

“Don’t touch her!” Aquamarine furiously demanded.

“Ya set me up!” Amethyst accused.

“But that wasn’t even part of the mission!”

“Screw that stupid mission!”

“W-WHAT?” Nephrite gasped in shock.

“Blue and Pink have to know about this one.” Amethyst added out with a sharp, cat-like grin.

Connie tried to summon up the strength to defy or even question those Gems, but she could only moan in confusion, while sitting down defenselessly. Then, Spessartite rose up from the sand, scythe ready to rip apart anyone that dared hurt Howlite’s daughter.

“Now the party starts!” Amethyst announced while summoning her weapon; a whip of three strings with diamonds emblazoned on its tips.

Spessartite tried to go in for a clean slash, but Amethyst tripped her and summoned a second whip to throw Spessartite and Connie away in a single blow. The half-Gem got up in time to see a particularly nasty of events.

“CONNIE, RUN!” Spessartite pleaded one last time right after a quick recover before rushing towards Amethyst.

“Gem Destabilizer time!” Amethyst cheekily announced while holding a strange device with yellow shockwaves.

She quickly stabbed Spessartite in the chest with the destabilizer, almost impaling her. Yellow lines ran over her body as, limb by limb, it collapsed. Jasper and Pink Pearl gasped in horror, while Connie could only helplessly watch as the de-facto leader of the Comet Gems looked at her with her three eyes, before poofing and leaving two gems behind. One orange, one red.

After packing the Gem Destabilizer back as if she just swatted an annoying fly, Amethyst approached the weakened, but traumatized and furious Connie. “I wasn’t there to fight for this trash planet, but I heard lots of stuff about you. How you are smart, a strategy devil... But this is just stupid!” She said, before wrapping her up on one of her whips, ignoring her last valiant struggle.

“Let her go!” Pink Pearl demanded as she and Jasper ran to try and pulverize Amethyst before anything could happen to Connie.

“Don’t think ya can do anything now, Howlie! Your friends are scrambled, your base is dust, so admit it! You lost!” Amethyst announced, right as the situation’s stress plus Connie’s drained mental and physical energy purged her into unconsciousness.

[tickletastic]

Movie Nights

Fandom: Man Of Medan

Ship: Alex/Julia, Conrad/Brad

Summary: Julia deals with the fact that Conrad hasn’t slept for days, and to Conrad’s dismay, this ends up happening right before a movie day with Conrad and Brad. Julia can be very persuasive, and Brad can be too.

Notes: I might just use sleeplessness as my inciting incident a little too much, ngl. Projection is important sometimes.

Julia insisted on Conrad bonding more with Alex and Brad, after all, Alex and Conrad were the two most important people in her life. It definitely helped that she thought Brad might have a little thing for Conrad.

Conrad had known they were coming, and yet he had still spent the night awake. He had always had an issue with insomnia, usually he would drink until he could barely open his eyes, but Julia and Roxie, their housekeeper, had started to give him a hard time about his alcohol intake. Their parents were barely home, so at least he didn’t have to worry about them. Not that they’d really notice.

Julia had popped her head into his room every hour on the hour until she found herself drifting off, but Conrad wasn’t sleeping, he wasn’t even trying to, really. It was a bad night. 

At 11, he tried to sleep, he layed in bed for an hour, tossing and turning, but it just wasn’t working. He got up at 12:30 and turned on his Playstation, playing some 2K. When he got bored of that, he walked the halls of the mansion, leading himself to the star room. The star room was a room that their parents had built when they were kids, and it was basically a normal room, with rocking chairs and a minifridge, but the entire roof was a skylight, matched with floor-to-ceiling windows. From so far outside of the city, the stars were always beautiful at night.

Conrad took some blankets that were stacked and folded on the rocking chair and organized them on the floor before flopping into them. He looked up at the sky, just watching the stars go by, and eventually watching the sunrise.

The next morning, Julia searched the house, wondering where Conrad could be. When they were kids, Conrad would fall asleep in the weirdest places in the house, and Julia finds herself playing the role of their old nannies as she looks for him. When she finally bursts into the star room, Conrad sits up, alarmed with how quickly she ran into the room. 

“Have you slept, Connie?” Julia asked, concern in her voice.

“Yup, slept for a few hours last night.”

“Bullshit, I know you didn’t sleep at all. Joseph put your breakfast tray in your room, go eat and shower, meet me in the cinema room. You’re going to sleep today, whether I have to force you to or not.”

Conrad left, rolling his eyes, hard, and making some sarcastic comments as he left the room. That’s how he ended up in the cinema room an hour later, getting attacked by his sister because of his sleeplessness. 

“Fuhuhuck off! Yohohou’re not playing fahahair!”

“Was I ever one to play fair?”

“Yehehehes! You were ahahalaways the fahahair ohohone! I’m thehe-” Conrad interrupted himself with a snort, “I’m the chahaharming ohohone!”

“Hey! You’ll pay for that!” Julia shouted, it always dumbfounded her that Conrad could never flip the situation. When they were kids, he never stood a chance against her. Having been shorter than her until two years ago, she believed it had grown into a learned helplessness. Despite the fact that he could, very easily, pick her up off of him, he just curled into a ball and tried to protect himself. “I don’t know about being the charming one, you seem like the ticklish one to me.”

“Julia- Julia no!” 

The sound of a raspberry sounded through the hallway leading up the cinema room as Brad, Alex, and Roxie approached. Alex’s face was completely neutral, but Brad was trying to suppress his laughter, he couldn’t help but find the manic and desperate aspect of Conrad’s laughter hilarious. and kind of cute

When they entered, Roxie cleared her throat. She was their housekeeper, but she had also been their nanny when they were in their younger teens. Even though her job was evolving, she found that Conrad and Julia still needed nannying sometimes.

Julia looked up, and Conrad followed suit before bolting out from underneath his sister, running across the room, putting as much space as possible between him and his sister. He put several rows of couches between the two of them before greeting Alex and Brad, trying to regain his calm, cool, and collected demeanour. 

“Hey Alex, Bradsicle. Please excuse Julia, she’s a sadist, but I’m sure you already knew that, Alex,” Conrad winked in his future brother-in-law’s direction.

Alex rolled his eyes, walking up to Julia and giving her a kiss. Brad gave Julia an awkward hug and waved towards Conrad. Roxie greeted Julia and Conrad, telling them that she’d go fetch snacks for them before leaving.

Conrad looked on edge, still standing like he was ready to run, and his sister finally confirmed his suspicions when Julia turned towards him, an absolutely evil look in her eyes. Julia looked up at Alex, “do you mind if I take care of Conrad before we start the movie? He was being a little shit again.” 

“Of course, babe, do what you gotta do,” It was Alex’s turn to wink at Conrad, and the blond knew that he was doomed, he didn’t know about Brad, but he did know that if Julia asked, Alex would help her catch Conrad.

Conrad stood with his hands out, like a player in a sport on the defence, and the panicked look returned to his face. He was already a little disheveled, his hair sitting messily on his head, and the look of genuine fear in his eyes didn’t make things much better. Brad noted that he wasn’t in his usual attire, but then again, he had only seen Conrad twice or so since their little diving trip. He thought about him a lot more than twice though. Conrad was wearing a very over-sized hoodie and basketball shorts, making him look much smaller than he really was, and the most like a 19-year-old that Brad had ever seen him look. 

“Julia, just cut it out. Playtime is over,” Conrad reasoned, bouncing from foot to foot and getting prepared to run. Julia pretended like she was going to charge around the couches towards him, and he flinched, scared out of his mind. “Julia, come on, Alex and Brad are waiting for us to start the movie, don’t you want to be a good host?”

This time Julia really started running, Conrad running from her in response, “No, no, no, no, no, Julia stop, this is dumb!”

“Quit your whining, Connie. I wouldn’t have to do this if you weren’t so fucking stubborn,” 

“I don’t whine, I just have better things to do than run from you. I mean, look, Brad’s just dying for my attention,” Conrad joked, oblivious to the truth in his words. Brad blushed, but Conrad was too busy running to notice.

He laughed nervously, rounding the couches and getting to where Julia previously was, in between the first couch and the giant screen. They ran like that for a couple seconds, in a circle around the couches, Conrad begging Julia to stop chasing him. 

Conrad ran around the couch that Alex had taken a seat in, one of the two at the front, and he felt himself falling to the ground. He looked back when he landed, and saw a smirk on Alex’s face. “I thought we were bros, Alex!”

“Sorry, dude, but Julia’s my fiance. Pretty sure that fiance comes before fiance’s brother.”

“Julia, Jules, c’mon sis, you don’t have to do this, it’s not that big of a deal. Didn’t Ghandi do a sleep strike?”

“First of all, no, he did a hunger strike, and you are certainly not Ghandi. Second of all ‘it’s not that big of a deal’,” Julia put her hands up and did a silly voice in an attempt to mock Conrad, “It’s a pretty big deal, you didn’t sleep at all, did you even sleep the night before?”

Conrad looked away, his brow furrowing as he tried not to show any guilt. 

“Seriously? Tonight I’m slipping something into your beer,” Julia was kind of pissed off, and that scared him a little more. “Just say that you’ll sleep and I won’t do anything, Connie, it’s that easy.”

“You know that’s not that easy,” Conrad responded, but before he could try to reason, Julia was back at tickling his ribs like she was before Alex and Brad had shown up. Conrad threw his head back, trying to grab his sister’s wrists. He ended up curling up into a ball and holding her wrists, unable to push them away from her skin. He couldn’t help but giggle out, weakly shaking his head. 

“Juhuhules stahahap!”

“But I just started!”

“It’s unbehehearable!” Conrad giggled, twitching every time her fingers poked him somewhere else. 

“Alex, would you mind holding his arms? They’re getting in my way,” Julia asked. Alex walked over without any questions, leaning down to his knees in front of Conrad.

“Dohohon’t! Alehehex, buddy, don’t do this!” Alex wasn’t taking any of Conrad’s begging either, and he quickly gathered the blond’s wrists in his hands, holding them above his head.

Julia wiggled between the bones of Conrad’s ribs, and even slipped her fingers under his hoodie to poke his tummy, and Conrad was struggling to escape. She wiggled her fingers upwards, under his arms, and Conrad screamed in protest, begging for Julia to show some mercy. 

Julia’s hands were fast and unpredictable, Conrad felt like they were everywhere at once because of how frequently she switched spots. When Julia asked Alex if he would be able to flip Conrad over, Conrad knew that he was in for it. 

“Juhuhules don’t! Plehehease! I’ll do whahahatever you’d like! Juhust don’t!” Conrad was desperate, he really just wanted it to stop, but he felt Alex turning him onto his tummy, and he knew that his pleas fell on deaf ears. 

He felt electrocuted when her fingers touched down on his shoulder blades, and he had to struggle against Alex’s hold. Julia used the fingers on her other hand and traced the nape of his neck, and his laughter rose in volume. He begged and begged to be let go through his hysterical laughter, which had grown to be interrupted by hiccups and snorts. 

Roxie entered the room, a cart full of snacks, both fresh and packaged, along with a variety of drinks. “Julia, I do think that your brother is going to need some air, cut him a little break?”

Julia laughed, but agreed, standing up. Conrad was still laughing frantically, covering his face with the sleeves of his sweater, and rolling into a ball. Brad really did like that way that the sight made him feel, Conrad was just too cute when he was out of his element, and it was starting to get to Brad. Brad walked over, offering a hand and a little side smile, “Did you know that you can’t catch up on lost sleep by sleeping more? Your body needs an adequate amount of sleep every night in order to restore proper balance.”

Conrad smile warmly, not his usual smug smile, and took Brad’s hand.

They turned the movie on, they had decided on Knives Out earlier, so it had already been ready. Julia cuddled into Alex, tossing a blanket over them. 

Brad had settled on the couch behind them, and when Conrad collected himself, he sat on the couch on the other side from Brad, instead of getting his own couch. He tossed a thick comforter over his legs, making sure it covered Brad without making it look too obvious. 

Throughout the movie, Conrad managed to move closer and closer to Brad. Brad was oblivious to it until he looked over and saw that the two of them were practically touching. 

Brad decided to test the waters, and he placed his fingernails on Conrad’s knee, spidering outwords from where he had originally placed them. Conrad giggled softly, placing his hand on Brad’s, flattening them both on his thigh. Brad pinched Conrad’s leg a few more times before relaxing his hand in its previous position.

Somehow, 30 minutes later, Brad was carding his hands through Conrad’s hair as Conrad slept in his lap. Brad couldn’t find it in himself to wake Conrad up, not when Knives Out Ended, not when Enchanted ended, and not when Good Will Hunting began. 

When Conrad finally did wake up, groggy and a little disoriented, he found himself apologizing feverishly to Brad for falling asleep in his lap. Brad didn’t mind, and he made that known. 

“I’m sorry bro, I could get another couch if you want more space,” Conrad reassured, getting up as if to move. 

Brad didn’t know what came over him, but he ended up leaning forward, his hands gently holding the sides of Conrad’s face. His lips met Conrad’s, and Conrad leaned into it, kissing back. They didn’t pull away until they were both breathless, looking at each other in shock. Conrad, surprisingly, was the first to drop eye contact, a furious blush lining his cheeks and the faint freckles he had developed in the summer. 

“I’m sor-” Brad started, still looking at Conrad. He looked really beautiful like this, flustered and wordless. 

“Don’t apologize,” Conrad interrupted, “I liked it.”

[entomycetic]

SU AU - The Space Between Us AU (Synopsis)

Figure I may as well post this au here-

ALSO I know this movie came out like. 2 years ago? But uh SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE ‘THE SPACE BETWEEN US’, this whole thing is just the plot of the movie but rewritten (it’s QPR rather than romantic); also SPOILERS FOR STEVEN UNIVERSE SEASON 1-5

For those that haven’t seen/don’t plan to see it, here’s the movie synopsis: “Gardner Elliot, the first human born on Mars, begins an online friendship with Tulsa, a teen in Colorado. On his maiden voyage to Earth, the 16-year-old finally gets to experience all the joys and wonders of a world he could only read about. Problems arise when scientists discover that Gardner's organs can't withstand the atmosphere. United with Tulsa and on the run, the interplanetary visitor races against time to unravel the mysteries of how he came to be, and where he belongs in the universe.“

LET’S GET STARTED SHALL WE; GRAB SOME POPCORN ‘CUZ THIS ACCIDENTALLY GOT LENGTHY(2k words) AND SAD HAHA (REMINDER THAT THIS IS QPR CONNVERSE, NOT ROMANTIC)

Introduction

Steven Universe is a hybrid son of human and gem, born on Earth- but living his life off planet, in the moon base, ever since that point. Normally, a gem’s lightform automatically adapts to it’s environments, and a Rose Quartz Pink Diamond is certainly a different shape from a newborn human. Steven’s body and his gem, new to this existence, were fighting for dominance in his form. To help alleviate this, the Crystal Gems took Steven and Greg to the moon base; the lack of gravity helped in Steven’s growth and help his gem adapt to the new form (or lack thereof).

The longer he stayed there though, the longer his human anatomy adapted too; his heart enlarged, his bones weak, until he was unable to stay on Earth comfortably for longer than a few days. For 13 years the moon base was his home, the Crystal Gems only taking him to isolated areas on Earth for practice missions, making him wear a face mask; they were afraid his immune system wouldn’t be able to handle being around other humans or animals.

Speaking of his home, the gems took on the task of adapting the moon base to look as much like a human home as they could; they felt guilty for inadvertently confining Steven to such a small space, it was the least they could do. With Greg’s (limited) knowledge, they covered the walls, murals, and floors with wood and plaster, warping in furniture and materials to build in proper electrical systems, water systems, etc. They even built extra floor(s); the base was built for someone the size of a diamond, but Steven didn’t need that as much as he needed floor space to run around. A floor for the living room, bathroom, and warp pad, a floor for the kitchen and garden, and the top conservatory re-purposed as his bedroom. 

Greg frequently visits Steven during the week, considering Beach City has few people needing car washes that often. He comes over slightly less now that Steven is mostly able to take care of himself, but still visits a lot more than canon. The gems’ temple is their base of operations, but they tend to hang out in the moon base if they aren’t off on a mission or doing who knows what in their rooms; it used to be weird for them, but by the time Steven was 10 it became instinct to them to warp there as ‘home’. Amethyst has taken to staying there the most, sometimes just staying there to sleep instead of going to her room; though she has to restrain herself from being the trash lord she is

Because of his lack of interaction, Steven makes many friends online; he’s even set up a curtain around his desk that he can pull behind him, so whenever someone video calls he doesn’t have to explain why it looks like he’s in space. On of these friends he’s made is Connie Maheswaran, a fellow nerd located surprisingly close to Beach City.

Interest Grows

Connie quickly becomes his best friend, hitting it off over their love of books. Steven - knowing very little about normal human life - constantly asks her about hers, living vicariously through her stories. Eventually he explains to her that he’s sick, too sick to leave his house; between the constant curiosity and how often he’s online, she had gotten curious herself. He’s never bonded with another human so well besides his dad, and the fact he can’t visit her severely dampens his mood.

The Gems quickly notice this, trying to help by offering more missions. He learns more about his past and about gemkind, including about his mom’s healing fountain. The Gems and Greg decided to tell Steven that his mom was half-gem, like him, so he wouldn’t feel so alone as a hybrid. He asks if maybe that’d ‘cure’ him, but they tell him there technically isn’t anything to cure; his body simply adapted to his environment, and they were afraid that if it did work, it’d change his anatomy too quickly and end up hurting him even more. Steven saw this as an excuse; he was growing desperate and impatient, and a plan formed in his mind. He became subtly more cold and serious towards the Gems, but joined them as often as he could on missions.

To Earth...

Finally, after months of pushing through the extra work, the Gems planned a mission to a gem site located somewhat near Connie’s city. He texted Connie that he’d see her soon, and taking his cheeseburger backpack, he warped with the Gems to their mission; though he had a different mission in mind. While they were busy fighting the corruption they had found, Steven booked it away from the gem site, running to the nearest bus stop and getting a ride to Connie’s city. She had told him which school she went to, so with the help of confused strangers, he found his way to her school. Finally, the two met in person; on the walk home from school, Steven told her the truth about him and his life; Connie partially believed him considering he had a giant gem embedded in his stomach, but his powers weren’t wanting to work. Steven asked for her help, he wanted to stay on Earth with her, and his best bet was his mom’s fountain. Despite how crazy he sounded, she agreed to help him; she’s been waiting for an excuse to rebel against her parent’s strict scheduling. Besides, how long would it take?

When the Gems finally poofed the corrupted monster and realized Steven was missing, they naturally panicked. Pearl called Greg who used his parental authority to locate Steven’s phone (which Steven kept on him, not realizing Greg could do that) and Garnet used her future vision; between the two, they all hurriedly rushed to the Maheswaran’s house. Turn’s out Steven was either smarter than they thought or just dropped his phone, as they found it sitting on the porch. The Maheswarans were quickly caught up in the situation, realizing their daughter missing at the same time was probably more than coincidence. Garnet’s vision told her that, because he was so curious about the healing fountain, he’d most likely head there. The Maheswarans joined Greg and the Gems in the van, and the party drove off with Pearl’s guidance.

The trip to the fountain took approximately a week, with Steven and Connie hitching rides and taking buses, living off the money Amethyst had given him (”Why do you need all this cash?” “...I wanted to buy stuff off Etsy? Where’d you get all this money anyways?” “Doesn’t matter, it wasn’t being used”) and the money Connie kept in her wallet (her parents insisted she kept ‘emergency cash’ on her, oh how that backfired). They grew closer as friends; Steven fell in love with the Earth and society, and Connie rethought her views on life in turn, her confidence and self-esteem blooming. As they traveled though, Steven could feel himself getting weaker and weaker; his body truly wasn’t able to support him on Earth, to his dismay. He hid it as long as he could, but Connie could tell he wasn’t feeling well as they approached their destination.

...And Back

Connie and Steven made it to the fountain just ahead of the van full of worried adults. The last part of their journey had to be on foot, as there were no roads leading to the small valley hiding their destination. Connie had to support Steven as they reached the overgrown brambles covering the site. Steven was getting desperate, both in wanting answers and needing help for his physical state. The brambles went after Connie; Steven finally proving he at least wasn’t entirely human as he used his shield to cut them off. He put up a bubble around them, collapsing in exhaustion as he protected them from the brambles trying to break through.

The van barely pulled to a stop before the Gems got out and fought off the brambles, Steven finally letting the bubble down. They quickly told the parents to watch the kids as they went to clear the brambles and fix the fountain, the Maheswarans too shocked by the scene to bother yelling at Connie yet, just following Greg in stunned silence. Greg barely registered Connie as he picked up his son and ran after the Gems; Garnet instructed him to place Steven in the empty fountain before running off to help Amethyst and Pearl.

Greg gently laid Steven on the ground with his head propped against his chest; Steven’s physical state was incredibly weak, but he still asked about his mom, trying to get answers while he was able. Greg tells him the truth- Rose was not only a full gem, but that she gave up her form so he could live. Steven thanks him for telling him before passing out, his heart literally being too big to support him. Greg and the Maheswarans were quietly crying as Connie tried to shake him awake, her face panicked (”I believe you now, Steven...you really are a moon boy...c’mon Steven, tell me you told me so”). Greg and Connie were too focused on the wounded boy to notice her parents jumping into the fountain, trying to avoid the brambles that were now coming after them.

Before Steven could take his last breath, the fountain finally flowed over them, the pink water soaking everyone. Greg helped his son float as the CG came running back; everyone waited with bated breath. Finally, Steven coughed and weakly tried sitting up; his body still wasn’t used to the atmosphere, though. The Gems were right about that, at least; his body didn’t seem to need a ‘cure’. He quickly passed out again, but with the reassurance that he was alive, the Gems took control of the situation. While the parents followed in Greg’s van, Amethyst shape shifted into a helicopter and flew Steven, Connie, Pearl, and Garnet to the closest warp pad (Greg took this time to further explain what exactly was happening to Connie’s parents.) 

The Gems reached the warp pad ahead of the van; Connie insisted she came with them, and so did Steven in one of his brief moments of consciousness ; they didn’t have time to argue, so all 5 of them warped to the moon base, to his house. 

Greg helped the Maheswarans follow using his warp flute about 30 minutes later, finding everyone upstairs huddled around Steven’s bed. He had recently woken up with his head in Connie’s lap, and upon seeing the Maheswarans immediately apologized for putting Connie in danger (he had to be told to at least lay back down as he kept talking.) He didn’t mean for her to be gone so long, for her to risk herself for his sake, he didn’t fully understand human society and the complexities of normal life. At his sincere words, the Maheswarans forgave him; Steven protected her, helped her grow, and gave her a friend; they couldn’t ask for a better person to ‘accidentally kidnap’ their daughter (though Connie was fairly grounded for a month; Steven and Connie agreed that seemed kinda fair.)

After a tearful reunion, they decided over dinner that the adults would help the two be able to interact more. Steven would go on more missions, hang out in the fountain, and have a heavier but more regulated integration with human life; Connie would be given her own warp flute and would be able to better adjust to no atmosphere- aka, hang out with Steven in zero gravity. Later this would turn into sword practice and gem adventures, but hey- baby steps, right?

HELLS YEA How’s that? That took- 1.5 hours longer than I thought it’d take to rewrite here lmao OOPS

Also one more reminder that this is QPR Connverse bc my AU my rules; I know the movie was romantic but I ain’t havin it >8)

Anyways ‘The Space Between Us AU’ is too long, I thought about shortening it to TSBU but why do that when it could be BUST AU (EARTH OR BUST, BABEY)-