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onecanonlife · 3 years

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In which Tommy travels back in time and tries to prevent a nightmare from happening to everyone he knows. Everyone else, meanwhile, is highly concerned.

(fic masterpost w/ ao3 links)

(first part) (previous part) (next part)

(word count: 4,391)

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Part Eight: Fundy

The easy part is deciding to run.

It’s all a pretty clear-cut process. The rules were stated at the outset, though he’s got no idea what was Wilbur’s idea and what was Tommy’s, considering how much Tommy seems to care about this whole thing. But none of them are unreasonable or anything like that, nothing that he’d find objectionable. He just has to declare his party’s intention before election night, not rig the vote, not join his vote with any other parties, and not seek endorsements from people who are banned from the server. And be a citizen of L’Manberg.

There’s nothing wrong with any of those, or at least, not that Fundy can see. And—he wants to run. He wants to look all the rest of the players on this server in the eyes and make them see him, respect him, listen to him. For himself, because he is awesome and capable, and not because they think he’s an extension of someone else.

So deciding to run is pretty easy. It’s not like he’ll even be the first; Quackity’s already declared his intentions, though he’s running solo, and doesn’t seem to be taking it too seriously. He considered trying to become his running mate, but Niki, when he explained his idea to her, seemed pretty on board to run with him. Niki’s really cool like that, and honestly, he’d rather team with her than with anyone else. So he’s running. He’s going to do it. He’s going to.

The difficult part is going to be telling Wilbur.

So he’s not procrastinating. He’s definitely not procrastinating. It’s just—there’s other people to talk to about it, right? Other people to tell? And it’s not like it matters what order he goes in. So that’s why he’s here, at the base of one of those big towers that Eret is building, hoping to find them here. It’s getting late, but the sun only set a little while ago, so they’re probably still around.

This can be like a practice run. A trial, for telling people about it. And Eret’s always listened to him, and they’re not even running themself, he’s pretty sure, so this will be good, to ease him into it. Not that this is something that needs easing. But it’s good to practice things, even if it’s not something that necessarily requires it. He’s just being responsible, which is a trait that anyone would value in a president.

The tower’s still a work in progress, but it’s pretty easy to get to the highest level. He’s almost certain that Eret is still here, and he’s right about that, but on a second glance, it turns out that Eret is asleep. They’re sitting upright, their back to the most completed section of wall, but their head has lolled to the side, their glasses close to slipping from their nose. He can even see their eyes—closed, of course. They’re definitely asleep. Definitely a little weird, since it’s not even that late, but he has noticed that they’ve been looking a little tired lately. Probably because they’ve sort of been responsible for a lot of L’Manberg’s development, build-wise.

He should come back later, probably. Except, that can’t be comfortable at all, and it’s really not that late, and the tower’s not finished yet, so the whole place is kind of exposed. Not the safest area to be taking a nap in after dark. Mobs might be able to get in, and then where would Eret be?

And also, he’s been psyching himself up this whole time, and if he doesn’t tell Eret here and now, he thinks that he might end up waiting until tomorrow to tell anyone at all. Not because he’s nervous! It’s just—late, and he’s spent time getting up here already, so he wants to do what he came here to do. That’s it.

So he creeps forward, not too loud but not trying to be too quiet, either, and crouches by Eret’s side. As he moves, something glimmers, and he squints, but—no, it’s just Eret’s jewelry reflecting the torchlight. They’ve taken to wearing a good bit of gold, lately.

“Hey, Eret?” he says. “Eret? It’s your pal Fundy. Maybe wake up?”

Eret doesn’t wake up. But their brow has creased, so, encouraged, he continues.

“Not a great place to go to sleep, probably,” he says, and he reaches out to give their shoulder a tap. “I mean, I know you’ve seemed pretty tired lately, but yikes. Maybe not good. C’mon, wake up.”

Eret still doesn’t wake, but they start to breathe quicker, which is probably not because of him at all. Are they having a nightmare? If they’re having a nightmare, he should definitely wake them up, because friends don’t let friends have nightmares.

“Hey,” he says, and shakes their shoulder more vigorously. “C’mon, man, I wanna tell you something.” He glances at the sky; the tower doesn’t have a roof yet. “And it’s getting just a little bit late, so you should probably go sleep in your house and not here, and I still need to go by the office so I can tell Wilbur—”

Eret gasps, lurching forward, jamming their sunglasses back over their eyes in the same motion, and Fundy jerks back a bit on instinct. He has no idea why they wear those all the time. Maybe it’s a light sensitivity thing. Or maybe they just want to look cool. But now’s probably not the time to focus on that, because Eret’s breathing is still way too fast, and they were definitely having a nightmare, from that reaction, so he inches forward again.

“Hey, Eret,” he says. “Sorry about that. Are you good?”

For a moment, Eret doesn’t reply. And when they do, their voice is—kind of weird. He’s not sure how to describe it, except as off.

“He failed,” they say, between gasps. “He tried, and he failed. That has consequences.”

“Uh,” he says. “Who failed?”

“But I wasn’t there,” they say. “I wasn’t there, so how did I—but the universe itself shudders, with a thing like that. What were the consequences? Something like that shouldn’t be interrupted.”

This must have been some dream.

“Something like what?” he asks.

Eret looks directly at him for the first time, though he has the strangest feeling that they’re not seeing him at all. He can’t see directly behind their glasses, but around the edges, there’s something like a pale glow. But he must be seeing things, some kind of weird reflection. Of the moon, maybe, or the stars.

“Dream tried to resurrect him,” they say. “But he couldn’t finish. That’s a dangerous magic to tamper with. You never, ever start a spell that you can’t see through to the end. And it had its blood.”

“Uh,” he says. “Sure thing. What exactly are you talking about?”

Eret falls silent. And then, they say, “Fundy?” Their voice is normal again, though he still can’t quite put his finger on what the difference was.

“Yep, that’s me,” he says. “Seriously, are you okay?”

“I’m—fine,” Eret says, and then again, “I’m fine.” They sound far more confident the second time. “Sorry, I was—dreaming. I’ve been having a lot of strange ones of late. It’s nothing to be concerned about.”

“Dreams can be weird,” he agrees.

Eret laughs. “Quite.” They stretch, tilting their head to side to side, wincing when something cracks. “Thank you for waking me. I’m not quite sure why I decided that was a good position to sleep in.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” he says, and Eret smiles, bringing their knees closer to their chest and laying an arm across them, twisting their torso to turn toward him more. It makes something burn in his chest, a comfortable warmth, at being given their full attention.

“Was there something you’d like to talk about?” they ask, and that warmth grows. “I can’t imagine you came up here just to prevent me from getting a crick in my neck.”

“I mean, that was part of it,” he protests. “I wanted to be a good friend! But um, yeah, actually, there was something I really wanted to tell you.” He hesitates, and Eret nods at him, encouragingly. Now that he’s here, about to say it out loud, he feels like his whole body is buzzing. It is kind of a big deal, actually, doing something like this. But he lets himself blurt it out. “I’m going to run for president!”

There’s a beat, and then, Eret’s face breaks into a wide grin.

“Really?” they say. “That’s awesome! I’m really happy for you, man.”

His tail starts wagging. “Yeah?” he asks.

“Of course!” Eret says. “That’s a big deal. I’m really proud you’re going for it. Do you have a running mate? And a name?”

He grins. “Niki’s running with me,” he says. “We’re going to be Coconut2020.”

Eret laughs again. “Coconut?” they ask. “Any particular reason?”

“Coconuts are good,” he says. “We both like coconut. We’ve bonded over coconuts.” He narrows his eyes. “Don’t mock our coconuts.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. Coconuts are good. Fair enough.” Eret tilts their head. “What did Wilbur say, if I might ask?”

And just like that, his euphoria dies down.

“Oh,” he says. “Right, um. Actually, you’re the first person I’ve told! Other than Niki, of course.”

“Oh!” He can hear the surprise in their tone, and he cringes away from it, a bit; he knows very well, of course, that Wilbur probably should’ve been the first to hear it. But it’s not like what he doesn’t know will hurt him, and he—he just wanted to practice. That’s all. “Well, in that case, I’m honored.” A pause, and then, “You’re not worrying about it, are you?”

“What?” He laughs, and he definitely sounds nervous. “No. No, why would I be nervous?”

“I think you don’t need to be,” Eret agrees, leaning toward him a bit. “I know Wilbur’s been busy these days, but he cares for you a lot. I think he’ll be quite proud that you’ve decided to take the initiative.”

“You think so?”

“I do. I wouldn’t say you have anything to worry about.”

“Okay.”

He feels a bit better, hearing that, and he knows that Eret is right. He’s never doubted his dad’s love for him, after all, even if he’s doubted Wilbur’s faith in him in a lot of other respects, and this is exactly the kind of thing he needs to do to make him stop doing that second thing. To make him see that he’s a man now, able to take care of himself, to do great things. If he goes far in this election, if he manages to beat him, even, then he’ll have to acknowledge how grown up he’s become. Will have to look at him with pride in his eyes.

“Okay,” he says again. “Thank you, Eret.”

“Of course,” Eret says. “I wish you the best of luck.”

It’s time for him to go, then. This practice went pretty great, actually. He feels like he can do this now. He feels good. Pumped. Hyped up.

“Thanks,” he says. “Are you gonna go get some actual sleep now?”

“I might stay up a while longer,” Eret says. They stretch, and then rise to their feet, and he follows their example. “I’d like to get a little more done with this tonight. And I’ll admit, my dreams haven’t been very kind to me lately.” They pause, and he’s not sure what to say to them; it always sucks, of course, to have nightmares, but he can’t offer much more than a basic commiseration. “I can’t help but feel like something’s missing.”

“From the tower?” he asks.

Eret smiles. “That too,” they agree. “I like it so far, but it feels a bit plain.”

He considers this for a moment. Eret’s not looking at him, is staring out at the lands beyond, visible past the incomplete wall. They’re absentmindedly twisting one of the bracelets around their wrist, and that gives him an idea.

“If you wanted to spice it up a little, you could always try some gold accents,” he suggests, and Eret jerks, turning their head toward him. “I noticed you’ve been liking gold a lot lately.”

He’s not sure why that makes them go pale.

“Maybe,” they say, softly. “Maybe.” They smile again, but this one’s a bit shaky. “I’ll bid you good night, Fundy. And really, good luck. But don’t get too worked up about it. You’ve got this.”

He nods, grinning. “I’ve got this! Goodnight, Eret!”

He leaves Eret to their tower. It’s to the office from here, and it’s definitely well into the night by now, but he knows his way around this nation like the back of his hand, even in the dark, and there’s plenty of torches to see by anyway. He considers, for a moment, that Wilbur might have already turned in for the night, but he casts that thought aside. Wilbur’s always working, even long past when a reasonable person would have hit the hay.

Tommy accosts him just outside the building that’s been serving for L’Manberg’s headquarters, sliding out of the darkness with a smirk on his face and his hands in his pockets. Fundy regards him warily. Not that he doesn’t like Tommy. He does, even if he’s been a little weird lately. But that’s an expression that screams trouble. And what is he doing out and about at this time of night anyway?

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks, and Tommy raises an eyebrow.

“What, can’t a boy look?” he says. “Do you need me to avert my gaze? Are you perhaps up to some crime and wrongdoing?”

“What? No,” he says. Trying to decipher Tommy is, on occasion, like attempting to navigate a parkour course blindfolded. “I’m just—” He bolsters himself. Stands straighter, puffs his chest out. “I’m running for president. So I’m going to go tell Wilbur.”

He speaks it like the challenge that it is. As much as he likes Tommy, he’s competition in this case, as Wilbur’s running mate. Tommy’s mouth forms an ‘o’, and something flickers in his eyes.

“Really?” he says. “Well, good on you, getting in on it early. Before election night.”

He frowns. “Yeah? Aren’t those the rules?”

Tommy nods, and then doesn’t say anything else, and this, this is why Fundy thinks he’s weird. It’s like sometimes, he just says weird things without elaborating, or even without realizing that it’s something that should require elaboration. Tommy’s just a weird guy overall, really.

“Okay,” he says, more to fill the silence than anything else. “Is there something you wanted to talk to me about? Or can I just go in? And I’m not moving out of my house, before you start that again,” he tacks on.

“I’m telling you, the real estate in that area is not good. Rather not poggers,” Tommy says. “It’s a dodgy part of the SMP, it is.”

“The only one anywhere near there is Punz,” he says, exasperated, and immediately berates himself for letting himself be drawn into this conversation again. That’s another weird thing; apparently, Tommy has recently taken offense to the location of his house, and has made persuading him to move somewhere else a priority. He can’t tell whether he’s serious, or whether it’s a long and involved bit.

Tommy nods sagely. “Dodgy,” he says. “But nah, you go on in. Wilbur’s still there, far as I know. Good luck.” Tommy steps away, and then stops, frowning, and turns back. “But maybe make sure Wilbur knows that you running against him isn’t, like, you disowning him or some shit. He wouldn’t take that well.”

“Why would that mean I was disowning him?” he demands. Wilbur wouldn’t think that, would he? Surely, even he wouldn’t jump to so drastic a conclusion. Unless he would, and him doing this is going to ruin their relationship, and he’s making a terrible mistake. But no, he’s not going to think like that. If Wilbur does have that attitude, that’s on Wilbur. Not him.

“It wouldn’t,” Tommy says seriously. “But, y’know, one thing leads to another.”

“How would that lead to me disowning him?”

“It shouldn’t,” Tommy says, and then grins again. There’s less light in this one, less levity. It’s actually a little unsettling. “Don’t mind me. Go talk to Wil. See you later, Fundy.”

“Okay,” he says. “Bye, Tommy.” He watches as Tommy walks away, and realizes, with some frustration, that he forgot to ask why, exactly, Tommy was hanging around here. Oh, well. He can’t let himself get worried about what Tommy’s doing, even if it’s always best to have half an eye on the guy. Trouble follows him.

But then, trouble kind of follows all of them.

He goes inside, and finds his way to Wilbur’s office. It’s not difficult; he’s been here before, though not often. The door is closed, and he hesitates in front of it, his nerves flagging. But then, he inhales, remembers Eret’s excitement and encouraging words, the way that Tommy didn’t make any disparaging remarks, and—he can’t expect a completely positive reaction, probably. He’s declaring himself as a political rival to his own father.

But he doesn’t need the reaction to be entirely positive. He just wants to look Wilbur in the eyes and see respect there.

He knocks.

Waits a beat.

“Come in,” comes the voice, and he slides the door open.

Wilbur’s at his desk, chin propped up on his hand, glasses slipping down his nose. His eyes are focused on whatever paper’s in front of him, narrow and squinting as they dart across the words, and his other hand grips a pen tightly, though he doesn’t seem to be doing anything with it at the moment. After a second, he glances up, and his gaze locks on Fundy, and Fundy suddenly feels very, very unprepared.

“Hello Fundy,” Wilbur says, and he sounds a little unsure, like he has no idea what he could possibly be doing here. He feels a little bitterness start to well up. “Is something the matter?”

Of course that’s his first instinct. That something has to be wrong. Because he thinks of Fundy as a child, always getting into scrapes, always needing help.

“No,” he says. “Nothing’s wrong. But can I talk to you for a second?”

Wilbur sets the pen down, sits up a little straighter. “Of course,” he says. “I’ve always got time for you.”

Then where have you been? he doesn’t say. Why are you always working? How come you almost never do anything else these days? And even when you’re around, why do you act like I’m still a little kid, like I didn’t fight in your revolution, like I haven’t been here the whole time?

“Great,” he says. “That’s great. Listen, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Alright,” Wilbur says, slowly. “Go on.”

He takes in a deep breath.

“I’m running for president,” he says.

For a moment, there is silence.

“I see,” Wilbur says, still slowly, like he’s working through it in real time, and he continues, feeling an odd burst of panic, like he needs to get all of it out now, before Wilbur can reply, can say anything, can shut him down or question him or anything like that.

“I haven’t marked my name down yet, but that’s my next stop,” he says. “Me and Niki, we’re going to be Coconut2020.”

“You and Niki,” Wilbur repeats, and he nods.

“Me and Niki,” he says, and then pauses. It’s out there now. He’s said it. And Wilbur’s just staring at him. He’s got no idea what that expression’s supposed to be. It just kind of looks—blank. Which, frankly, is not the reaction he was hoping for, and he shifts uncomfortably. “So, yeah. That’s what I was here to say.”

Wilbur is quiet for a long, long moment.

“Have you thought this through all the way?” he asks, voice quiet.

“What? Yeah, of course I have.” He crosses his arms. “This is what I want to do. You’re not gonna be able to change my mind.”

“But—why, then?” Wilbur asks. The blankness is finally fading, replaced by—Fundy’s not even sure what, but he is sure that it’s not anything good. Which makes anger rise up in him; honestly, who is Wilbur to deny him, at this point? Why does Wilbur think he gets a say in this when he’s barely spoken to him at all, these past weeks? “Why do you feel the need to—do you think I’m not suitable? Is that it?”

“Not everything’s about you, Wil,” he says. Even though this kind of is. But not in the way he’s thinking. “I think I’d be a good president, so I’m running. That’s all it is. It’s not that complicated.”

“I think it is a bit complicated,” Wilbur says, “considering you’re my son. I—I didn’t expect this from you.”

That’s the whole point, he doesn’t say. You never expect anything from me.

“It’s not,” he insists. “It’s not complicated. Don’t make it into something it’s not. I’m running. That’s all. This isn’t—my being your son doesn’t come into it.”

“I disagree,” Wilbur says. “I—you do realize what you’re doing, don’t you? I’ve never wanted us to be enemies, Fundy. But this—we’ll be opponents. I won’t hold back just because you’re my son. An election’s an election. Even if—and that’s a side of me you’ve never had to deal with. That I’ve never wanted you to deal with.”

Despite himself, doubts flit across his mind. Did he think this through? But then, he hardens his resolve. This is what he wants. To challenge Wilbur. To make him back down, if he can manage it. To force him to acknowledge him as someone to be reckoned with. And if that comes in the form of taking his country from him, then all the better, right? Wilbur won’t be able to ignore him then.

“I can hold my own,” he says, and before he can stop himself, he continues, “And why does this even matter so much to you, anyway? Why do you need to be the one in charge?”

If he’s not mistaken, he thinks Wilbur rears back a bit, at that question. But it’s difficult to tell. Wilbur never lets anything show that he doesn’t want to, making him frustratingly difficult to read.

“I founded this country, didn’t I?” Wilbur says. “Didn’t I lead us? I just want to continue to protect this nation. I want to be able to do what’s best for it. I want to see it flourish, and be strong, and—if it’s the people’s will that that happens under someone else’s hand, I’ll accept that. But if I can continue to guide L’Manberg, then I want to do so.”

“I mean,” he says, “it kind of felt like Tommy was the one who won it for us.”

Wilbur stills. And then, inclines his head, lips twitching up. It’s a smile, though for some reason, Fundy has a hard time seeing any joy in it, any happiness at all. But then, he’s probably reading too much into things, putting emotions into an expression that simply aren’t there. Because when Wil’s not being overbearing, he’s being distant. There’s really no inbetween.

“That’s true,” he says. “Tommy did.”

Silence falls again, thick and stifling.

“Um,” he says, after a second, “that was all I had to say. I think I’ll just go, now.”

“Alright,” Wilbur says, and it doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything else, so Fundy turns to the door, an odd emotion settling into his stomach. It might be disappointment—he’s not sure that he got what he wanted from it, though the fact that he was able to rile Wilbur up at all is an accomplishment. And he managed to hold his ground, and he thinks that says something.

Except then, Wilbur says something else, and it gives him pause.

“I am proud of you, though,” Wilbur tells him, and he stops before his hand closes around the door handle, fireworks going off across his skin.

“Yeah?” he says, and turns around again. Wilbur’s still looking at him, meeting his gaze evenly, though there is something tight about it, something off. But he’s smiling, and Fundy decides not to examine any of it too closely. Because the words rattle around in his brain, in his heart, and then settle.

“Of course,” Wilbur says. “I suppose I don’t say that to you enough, but I always am. And in this—I’d be lying if I said I liked the decision. I don’t want this to—” He stops, and swallows, an oddly audible break in the flow of his words. “But that’s me, isn’t it? Good on you for—for having the balls, I guess. For going after what you want. Just be sure that you can handle it.”

A double-edged sword, then. How many times does he have to say that he can handle something before Wilbur finally believes it? But still, he said he’s proud. That he always is. And that has to mean something. Has to mean everything, in the end.

“I can,” he says. “Thanks, dad.”

Wilbur smiles again. Oddly, it still doesn’t look happy. But it’s very likely that he’s stressed and tired anyway. He didn’t consider that before. Maybe he really should’ve waited for another time to bring this up, another time that wasn’t late at night. But what’s done is done, and he’s said his piece, and Wilbur wasn’t quite enthusiastic but he did say that he was proud of him, which all in all, is much better than it probably could have gone. His chest is buzzing, still.

So he smiles back at Wilbur, and exits his office.

And later, after he’s made everything all official and he’s meeting with Niki in her bakery, going over their plans and forming his own in the back of his mind—a last resort, just in case it looks hopeless—she asks him, “How did it go? Telling him?”

And he considers that for a moment.

“Honestly,” he says, “I think it went pretty well.”

#mcyt #dsmp #dream smp #fundy #eret #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #dsmp fic #/rp #cat writes fic #long post #time travel au #everything's fine :D

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inventors-fair · 4 years

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Three Cheese Commentary: An exercise in utility

I really shouldn’t complain about contests being popular with people.

Still, what a way for the year’s contests to start. A heckuva lot of entries for a very hard prompt makes me feel good, in an odd way. I have a hypothesis that the clarity of directions and the examples provided were enough to make it feel as though there was a low barrier to entry. It’s interesting and kind of my fault that a lot of mythic legendary creatures found their way in. Ah well. Lessons learned.

If you’re reading this, I want to give you a little hint: we love hard decisions. If your cards really are brilliant, if you do your best to improve with each and every entry, if you listen to the commentary and submit the best possible card, then our jobs as judges would be nail-bitingly hard. And I love that. I love having to sigh wistfully and move a card from “winners” to “runners-up.” I love praising cards that contest for coolness in their spaces. In short: you don’t have to listen to us specifically because, well, we’re not professionals, but if you tweak the tweaks and polish on your polish, then—well, the goal is that you grow as designers and in your understanding of the game. And that you’ll have fun along the way.

For every card, I’m going to converse with the intent, talk about where improvements can be made and what might have gone wrong, and then go through wording nitpicks (another part of what makes cards hard, heh. You gotta do design AND cost AND flavor without committee). Cards with JUDGE PICK are personal favorites that for whatever reason either didn’t meet the criteria for winners or just tickled my fancy despite being some kind of not-there-in-certain-ways. Or maybe they just got pushed out of runners-up because of space. See? Hard decisions.

Let’s talk about some cards:

@aethernalstars — Anurid Matriarch

Intent: The Matriarch feels like a casual build-around-me keyword card with some connection to the Anurids of Dominaria. There are only two frogs with reach (and none with first strike) to date but this isn’t supposed to be a tribal card, is it. Not like that, anyway. Giving keywords those ups makes sense. Token generation is pretty solidly GW, giving them flying is WU, sure. First strike to double feels distinctly white. I imagine this card as a casual build-around-me or a token generator. Five mana for a 1/1 token ain’t bad.

Improvement: I have no idea what this card really wants to be. First strike doesn’t see anything outside of white, and reach doesn’t see much inside white. Or blue, for that matter. The flying makes sense for blue but this whole card doesn’t feel cohesive in terms of colors or identity. I did my Anurid research and I don’t see any precedent for this. Frog beasts are cool but… Well, this card answers the question of “why” with “just because.” I don’t fully understand the niche it’s trying to fill or the environment in which it wants to exist. If you’re gonna make a Frog build-around-me, lean into that. If you’re gonna make a keyword tribal card, focus on just one. If you want to make it color-balanced, look at what everything could do together for a flavorful feel.

Nitpicks: Flying comes before double strike.

Amarinthe — Rashmi, Enlivened Artificer

Intent: Temur has a pseudo-foothold in Kaladesh mechanically, so I’m not surprised that Rashmi’s here doing her thing. Giving your cards Jump-start is interesting, as UR has a sort of flashback mechanic, plus the lands from the graveyard work into green quite well. What I really like is the way that the Crucible effect interacts with jump-start. That’s pretty cool design chops. I can see this in a supplemental Commander sphere or even as a Standard mythic for a three-color archetype. It doesn’t seem exceptionally broken on either front. From a purely mechanical perspective, I think you made an awesome card.

Improvement: This card perhaps feels RUG, but it 100% doesn’t feel like Rashmi or a druid. Elves can be artificers on Kaladesh, and that’s not an issue, but you call her an artificer, you type her as a druid (which yes, was her original type when she was more druidic), and you give her a primary ability that’s got basically nothing to do with artifacts or druidic principles. The lands work great with the druid part, but the flavor could be sorted out. I would take out “jump-start” as a keyword and just work in the wording “you may cast from your graveyard” etc., make a new character, and flavor them appropriately. The flavor text should complement the mechanics; as it is, I’m not certain.

Nitpicks: “jump-start” should be lowercase, but it doesn’t really matter if you do end up taking it out.

@arashisann — Yurlok’s Conflux

Intent: With Yurlok being a new commander hotness, I can see the intent of this card as a Jundian standard/supplemental addendum. The lava flow makes mountains, then the second ability...represents something predatory? And the last is Jund destruction. The R>B>G makes sense there.

Improvement: I don’t know if this card is necessary salvageable as-is; you might be better off making two or three separate cards if you want to show this character. When making a saga, you have to tell a story in a limited form, and it’s hard, absolutely! You represented the lava flow in the first ability quite well, and I do like that a lot. The creature and artifact sacrifice isn’t indicative of anything that I can follow story-wise. Reading the wiki I understand the way that you might want to represent the Thrash dying or Esper being invaded. I don’t believe this is the way to do it. With the very last sentence not doing anything when you’re sacrificing anyway, I don’t believe the best card for you is a saga at all. How could you tell this in an instant or sorcery card, perhaps? The moment that Yurlok comes over the Esper border?

Nitpicks: “non-Mountain;” the land type should be capitalized in both parts, see Quicksilver Fountain. The ability should also be one word. As I mentioned, removing the counters doesn’t do anything mechanically because it’s sacrificed after resolution. Check the MSE Discord if you want to get your text fixed, BTW. I know how frustrating that can be.

@askkrenko — Etherium Restoration

Intent: You know, even without Ed being there, I’m getting a Bruna-ish feel. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just that UW expensive returning stuff kinda has those associations. The fact that the creature is being restored with etherium though is pretty awesome, and you know what, that alone (the return plus the re-artifacting) is a great way to convey what Esper does and wants to do.

Improvement: The aura and equipment stuff doesn’t grab me, honestly. What do auras have to do with Esper? And the only equipment that I could find that fit was Mask of Riddles. So I’m going to stop here because the obvious answer is that you’re exploring new story design space for what Esper might be. I respect that. With the information we have now, it’s middle-of-the-road. My vote would be to make this (3)(B/W)(U) and make an argument for UW reanimation to artifice overall, then completely drop the aura/equipment part. Plus, gotta say, I know the flavor text is a pop culture thing but you’re messin’ with my favorite plane! Show some respect! /j

Nitpicks: If you do keep that second part, “Aura” and “Equipment” should be capitalized.

@bread-into-toast — Krofor, Corpse Hauler

Intent: It’s a nightmare insect? I’m down. Even without that particular piece of art I can see how people might be afraid of a giant bug. This is pretty evidently a Commander-geared card although I can see how casual brewers might want to throw it down in a combo match and do some graveyard hate. GW graveyard exile and black ability scavaging is pretty cool, so I can see where your intent was with that. Good catch putting “Nightmare” first, too. I almost suggested mixing it around. I like how aggressive this card can be.

Improvement: Firstly, Corpse Hauler is literally another card which already had a self-evident mechanical ability to get creatures back to the hand. Even if it’s an homage, I would distinguish it; besides, it’s not so much “hauling” corpses as it is eating them. Presumably. “All abilities” is a bit of a slippery slope, too. Activated abilities is one thing, but all abilities whatsoever? I’m uncertain if that’s design space you want to tap into, but don’t pull the trigger. My main issue is that you have the activated ability cost “X and W, B or G.” I understand what you were trying to do but that that point you might as well just have it be “1X.” There wouldn’t be anything stopping you from making that mana already. In short, rectify the name to fit flavor, change the ability cost, and be wary of weird interactions with abilities.

Nitpicks: “Lifelink” and “Vigilance” should be lowercase ‘l’ and ‘v’ respectively. The X in the rules text of the activated ability should also be spelled out and not a mana symbol. You can change this in MSE by highlighting, then going to the star next to the bold/italic toggle and turning it off.

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion — Sevala, Exiled Naturalist

Intent: I read up on what happened with Selvala after the events of the first Conspiracy set, and I see how you set off to mimic that, but then I saw the note about the Timeshifting, and yeah, I guess that works.. The green landfall, the red flashback and the white Path come across well. I suppose this is more of an eternal-themed card, although I could be wrong.

Improvement: Yeah, technically there’s nothing stopping you from having a noncreature card as a partnerable card. I’m trying to be diplomatic about the implications, though. Okay. So Selvala’s white aspect was introduced in the first Conspiracy set as she was heavily connected to the citizens of Paliano and worked as a community diplomat against the establishment. She forged a stronger connection to nature and thus became more green in her overhaul of the city. Path to Exile is not in her wheelhouse. She does not exile; she parlays, communes with creatures, seeks out new futures. What exiling magic does she have? What judgement? It doesn’t exist in her character, nor does the redness. Frankly landfall doesn’t really fit her character as well. The point is that even if a character could have a partner that’s a concept (which is antithetical to the mechanic as a whole), the spell you have chosen contrasts with Selvala instead of complementing her. And what does she have to do with flashback anyway? To improve this card, completely restart the conceptual process.

Nitpicks: The character’s name is misspelled.

@deafeningsandwichpeach — Ilharg, the Craze-Boar

Intent: Ha, I get it. I’m going to go out on a huge limb here, because I mean as much as I like all of this I get the feeling that either the name or art came before the full concept. Nothing wrong with that, because ultimately the card is good. SO. Either this is designed for a Timeshifted set where something really awful happens to our poor Boar God, or, well, something really bad DID happen to him somehow. I’m not sure what the land return represents flavorfully but it’s fine mechanically. The creature return as well is BR and I’m down for that, strong as it is. This card evokes the colors in a way that makes it slightly different than Jund; maybe it’s the art but I’m getting Innistrad vibes from him, the madness returning, the pain going on inside his head. It’s neat. Again, massive stretch though, let’s be real.

Improvement: And with that in mind, I wouldn’t have made him Ilharg. Honestly, this should’ve been a new character, and I would have been a lot more generous. I don’t really get what Ilharg as a whole even in an alternate timeline has to do with lands returning considering that he’s a big ol’ nasty city destroyer. Mechanically, this card needs to cost like EIGHT mana. The card you return from your graveyard to the battlefield stays there, and with a big enough graveyard you don’t have to worry about getting things from your hand anymore. Turns 1-4 dump all your creatures, turn five get the best of them if not earlier? Pretty busted in any format. For eight mana I wouldn’t complain.

Nitpicks: “up to two land cards,” not “lands.” Question: why isn’t he a God?

@deg99 — Radiant Return (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Black reanimation, white attachment, red hastiness. All the colors are definitely there! There’s something Mardu-not-Mardu about this RWB card, and I think I like it. I could see it as a standard card, definitely, or as a commander staple for a really interesting commander. I’m honestly not sure exactly what kind of deck would really appreciate this card right now! Keskit/Akiri? The Auras part is a little more interesting. Ardenn/Vial...Smasher? The fact that it defies current archetypes but still makes sense is very cool to me. I also wonder what a standard expansion in which RWB auraquipment is an archetype would look like now.

Improvement: A little flavor text could make this work one degree better. It’s really on me that you went into the future with this card, isn’t it. There’s no major improvement to be made besides that. Consider contextualizing for future contests, perhaps? When necessary, anyway.

Nitpicks: “Return target...to the battlefield, then attach any number of Auras and/or Equipment you control to it...etc.” Don’t need the trigger.

@demimonde-semigoddess — Seaglide Whaler

Intent: A pirate’s life for me! So we got an aggressive tempo-y pirate person with a decent couple of sharpshooter abilities. Blue sirens are certainly reasonable, as are Grixis pirates. I like the notion that it has to attack to “survey” and then take whatever shots it makes. I don’t think Ixalan could have had this card but honestly the future is a place where anything could happen.

Improvement: The problem with these colors is that in practical terms, the second mode is strictly black and yet can be played in an Izzet deck. Hybrid is a weird mistress. As much as these abilities might neatly tie into the three colors, hybrid makes deck construction nearly impossible. You can have a pinger in UB or a Fatal Blow in UR, both of which are either severe bends or breaks. Making this a straight UBR 3/1 flier could have been okay, perhaps, or having on-color activations, but as it is now, hybrid makes things hard. Consider looking at a Venn diagram between UB and UR to consider more appropriate abilities?

Nitpicks: Kathari Bomber implies the second mode to be “...damage this turn and sacrifice Seaglide Whaler.”

@dimestoretajic — The Dark Tendril

Intent: Sultai skulk-lord could be a fun card to open and build around in limited, and a BUG defender-y deck could have some fun application. I like how you’ve made the new character and sort of done another take on treefolk.

Improvement: For this contest, I don’t feel a strong color balance in this card. Skulk was a weird black/blue centered mechanic, sure, and green assigns the toughness, but… This feels like it’s trying to make skulk look cool rather than address the issue that skulk was just plain not a good mechanic. I get where the color weight is supposed to be but the whole thing is shadowed by that underlying desire. If this card had just been “Creatures you control can’t be blocked by creatures with greater power” and the other stuff, on a name/type that was more resonant, then I think it could have been a stronger contender. I don’t understand the world in which “The Dark Tendril” lives. I don’t understand why it’s a treefolk. I would get rid of naming skulk, make the type more apparent, and give the character some character.

Nitpicks: Three-colored cards really should have a gold border, not a hybrid one. Also, promo frames tend not to have flavor text (with exceptions for cards with no rules text like Memnite).

@driftingthruthecosmos — Ulti, Sudden Conjurer

Intent: I like that triggered ability because it’s got some smooth flow over it. GU has its flash aspect, but black also likes destructive instants, and then the Disentomb-effect fits nicely into a payoff that feels black for sure. I also like how you’re using the three colors to push the card into a really neat 3/3 aggressive creature. Flash and deathtouch literally only show up together in these three colors but not together—and here you are changing that on a powerful legend!

Improvement: But the fact that she can only return creatures with flash is kind of a bummer. Sure there are plenty of cards that could work with her, and having some Ambush Viper casual tribal wouldn’t be too bad, but it’s still limiting. I would have implied that she works with flash, or let players work with flash, without being so specific about it, and I feel that the card would be improved with implied flash tribal over explicit in this case. Additionally, what on earth is that last ability doing? Each end step, you have to sacrifice a creature or lose one of your potential targets for her trigger? I have the feeling that you may have been too cautious to push power levels here. If you want to limit her, have it be “Whenever you cast your first spell during each opponent’s turn…” or something, and axe that last part.

Nitpicks: “unless you sacrifice a nontoken creature.” Full stop, you can never sacrifice creatures you don’t control so adding “you control” is redundant.

@dumbellsndragons — Gorvax, Lich of the Horde

Intent: It’s a Mardu zombie orc wizard. At this point, you’re already doing something right for the Timmies out there. The first ability has Tainted Remedy plus some crazy draw after that, and oh man, it’s begging to be punishing. “I’m gonna Heliod’s Intervention you. Deck yourself. Runeflare Trap. Molten Psyche.” But also, that second ability? You can Bolt during an opponent’s turn and turn it into a one-red-mana Ancient Craving. For mythic, to build around? I honestly think that that’s perfectly fine. And insanely powerful.

Improvement: There’s weird stuff going on, but the hard part is that I don’t know if there’s things to improve. Giving your spells lifelink has Jeskai precedent, but it’s not NOT black. Doing a little digging, I can see that there are indeed zombies and even liches on Tarkir, but only in Sultai… But there’s no reason that the Mardu wouldn’t have them, right? Hm, maybe “Victory or Death” gets muddled here. Wizard, though, that’s a sticking point. And frankly, the whole “Lich” thing. I don’t see the lichiness in the abilities or the wizardry in the Mardu. You know what would be dumb fun? Ditching the Mardu aspect and making this WUBR. Wouldn’t fit the contest but what a friggin’ commander.

Nitpicks: None!

@emmypupcake — Knight of Summer’s Vigor

Intent: I was surprised to see that there are actually quite a few green Knights. It makes sense, of course, considering both Eldraine and Bant and Selesnya. So yeah, an elf knight who makes more knights? This is a powerful card with some crazy abilities if it gets out of control at all, but the color restrictions and the lack of substantial evasion ensure that it’s not busted out of the gate. The name’s pretty good, too! Oh, Knight of New Alara...

Improvement: For this contest, I don’t feel color blending as much. Tokens with GW and knights with R(W) are fine, yeah, but aside from that, the colors of the tokens and the general feeling of the card isn’t enough to really excite me. I do want to see a set in which this card could exist, perhaps, with multicolored knights and elves and whatnot. I don’t have any real improvements for this card; I just don’t think it stands out against some of the weirdness. Keep it around and add some flavor text. Consider: what would you like for this set to be? In what world would these knights exist? Why is summer important?

Nitpicks: “Whenever,” not “when.” See Pollenbright Wings

@evscfa1 — Estrid, the Unmasker

Intent: The Commander sets with shard Planeswalkers did give us a lot to work with but not a lot of extra stuff, so it makes sense that people might pick up on them for the contest. White auras, exile, and taxing all make sense mechanically. I feel that this is more standard than supplemental, a little weirdness for the way that the specific tokens and all would want to work. I don’t mind that part, honestly. Bringing Estrid back would be fine by me, even as monocolored.

Improvement: Because, well, this is a mono-white card. The +1 creates white Auras (that don’t do anything, so that’s an issue), the -2 is close to Generous Gift, and the -8 is an enchantment-oriented Hum of the Radix, like a twist between Sphere of Safety and Aura of Silence. None of these abilities feel anything but white. The emblem is arguably UW, but not by much. With Auras that don’t do anything and a color identity that doesn’t mechanically contribute to the card, I feel that you can either keep her and buff some of the abilities or try to make her feel more in line with the contest, which you don’t really have to do at this point. I’m also worried about the name and the ability tie-ins. Estrid doesn’t “unmask” at all, does she? She’s a mask user, not a revealer of truth or any of the things “unmasking” would imply. Why would she make a False Mask? Is this some alternate storyline? If so, I don’t really understand what changed, or why.

Nitpicks: “*Its controller” in the -2, “*get an emblem” in the -8.

@fractured-infinity — Rhythm of Death (rare)

Intent: Red (/black) gains first strike, black (/green) has deathtouch, green (/red kind of) has lure. Everything’s coming together in a kind of keyword soup, so that’s all well and good! In limited someone who opens this will be very, very happy to make people cry. In casual Commander, it’s sure to help make negotiations.

Improvement: In terms of this contest, yeah, this isn’t really buttering my radishes. It’s there, it’s pretty standard, and it makes sense. There are two cards that have first strike and deathtouch and four more that can gain it naturally and all but one are in those colors. And that wouldn’t be a problem if this card was presented differently. I’m ignoring the art for now because it’s actually distracting here. What is the “rhythm?” Is something being given the rhythm? What’s repeating, cycled, constant? What about a rhythm gives the creature these abilities? Change the name, flavor it up, get some text in there, and use blank art.

Nitpicks: “Enchant creature (lowercase) >> Enchanted creature has first strike and deathtouch, and must be blocked if able.” Take that with a grain of salt, though. Protective Bubble might have it say “Enchanted creature must be blocked if able and has first strike and deathtouch.” Or you can cut the middleman and make it two lines: “Enchanted creature has first strike and deathtouch. // Enchanted creature must be blocked if able.”

@gollumni — Exotic Wings

Intent: It’s interesting that we have two back-to-back “must be blocked” cards (hm, no shorthand?) in a row, both Auras no less, but very different. I like your flavor use with the wings being a status symbol, bright and glittery, and therefore turning the creature into irresistible prey of sorts. Aura colors are good, and the solid green effect is in there as well. The mechanics fit a pretty standard-ly powerful draft uncommon that can be used for beating down when necessary.

Improvement: I’m 90% sure that right now GW doesn’t get flying by itself anymore, or at least very rarely. Pollenbright Wings and Shield of the Oversoul exist, so I’m on the fence. Maybe I’m biased with recent printings, but for two mana I’m not sure it’s what GW would need. That said, I’m sure there’s dissent and arguments to be made, and yes, I know its full color identity includes blue; this is pragmatic. I think this could have been solidly WUG with another buff, perhaps, but that just would have made it favorable for this contest and honestly it’s up to playtesting to see if those colors need a cheap flying aura. But the wings. The flavor. I… So these wings belong to birds, naturally? Who is summing this enchantment for mating? This is some kind of buff or boon that most any creature could have so in what world is some enchant-o-mancer giving “do me” wings to Mx. Passerby?? But, this may be just a quirk of the game, yeh?

Nitpicks: None!

@hiygamer — Etherium Replicator (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Major kudos for making my look up Prototype Portal and seeing that my gut was wrong and that you DID use the right wording! This is a super-Esper card, more than any of the imprinted cards and honestly a great use of the art. Thopter Foundry is a great card but this one isn’t a bad use and would kind of make sense. Now, I’m not going to put this in improvements, because I want to ask a question: could this card be just plain UW? Possibly, but also consider: this card could be just a straight-up artifact as well, and it feels better how it is now. Why? Because the black invokes a different feeling. It invokes consumption, recycling, progress, larceny, calculation. It’s a very blue side of black. And it also feels, well, Esper! Its an established use of theme!... Honestly it’s probably more that. But I like it anyway. I’d say my bias was showing but none of the winners necessarily invoked Alara straight-up so thpt.

Improvement: There are mostly just wording errors. To be honest, if you’re getting something big, could this card be three mana? That’s probably pushing it, but worth testing. Multicolor custom cube time.

Nitpicks: “enterS the battlefield” (tense), “artifact or creature” (instead of the other way around), and most importantly: “Create a token that’s a copy of A CARD exiled with Etherium Replicator” etc. Because you can copy the ETB trigger and/or use shenanigans to exile other cards.

@hypexion — Ferrari, Sharp Scrapper

Intent: Well if my eyes don’t deceive me, it’s another Esper card! And an artifact-y card? Hm, artifact-enchant-y card. It’s easy to see the designation between colors, with self-mill and the lifegain going into black but leaning towards all three colors, the second ability being straight Disenchant, and the last one being an interesting UB pseudo-reanimation on the cheap, which is super interesting and aggressive. I can see this card intended as either a standard staple or being used as a supplemental planeswalker face card. There’d be a heavy amount of artifacts and enchantments for sure, probably artifact creatures.

Improvement: Did I miss something? When did WUB start caring about enchantments as a multicolor wedge identity? Alela and Zur have their thing, sure, but are those the baseline now? I’m more head-scratching and 0% mad, honestly. As a flavorful card, though, I’m not sure what you’re conveying exactly. So they get rid of stuff and they’re happy when they find garbage, but sometimes they want to scrap things they don’t like, but then they can recreate some of your garbage? Let’s back up and say that this card isn’t a Scrapper and that they’re an artifact/enchantment person. In the most general sense, I don’t really feel a harmony of ideas. The card feels one-note, like there’s very little to do besides abuse the -2 ability and maybe the -1 to get rid of some big thing on the table. The +1 exists to serve the -2, and the -1 feels like it’s trying to be protective for protection’s sake. I don’t know why this character does the things they do through the card. As utility planeswalkers become more abundant, the things they do have to be more resonant; imagine a fully-built world and put your card in the middle. No card is a metaphorical island.

Nitpicks: I think (maybe) that the +1 could be: “Mill up to three cards, then you gain 3 life for each artifact and/or enchantment card milled this way.”

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Corpse Spell

Intent: I think you made this very apparent. As a counterspell, it does the job well, and then it lets you get an idea for free! The choice of casting a noncreature spell is particularly interesting, as it plays into this weird and not-really-that-common theme of transfiguration. Obviously polymorphing appears in blue and red but it feels black because of the flavor you’ve chosen to convey. That’s a great job.

Improvement: The big mechanical thing is that I would 100% make this let you case an instant, sorcery or creature instead of just a “noncreature spell.” These colors don’t really feel like they could transmute a creature into something that’s not an idea or, well, a corpse, and it really seems as though that’s the idea you’re going for. The big flavor thing, though, is the name. I really and truly don’t know what you’re trying to convey. Now, I’m aware that English isn’t your first language, and that’s a barrier that I’m not sure how to cross for this kind of criticism. “Corpse Spell” seems like a playtest name. As a concept, this card is great. As a submission, I’m still having to extrapolate a lot; most importantly, it doesn’t tell me how the caster is using the magic to turn a creature into something else. Work on telling that story, and when possible, use native speakers to help get ideas across.

Nitpicks: I think the wording would be: “Counter target creature spell. You may cast target noncreature card with converted mana cost less than or equal to that spell’s converted mana cost from your graveyard without paying its mana cost, and if that card would be put into your graveyard this turn, exile it instead.” Because if you exile it as it resolves and it’s, like, an artifact or planeswalker, what’s the point? Hence my note about instants/sorceries and maybe other creatures.

@ignorantturtlegaming — Draxys, Scourge Eternal

Intent: This card absolutely fits the elemental shell. It feels to me like a standard or CMR-style bomb mythic that hits the table and kinda goes nuts. I mean, it wouldn’t be your commander probably, but in Conspiracy-style? Man. Multiplayer draft, that’s what I mean. It gets cards, it gets counters, it deals damage, then Blitz Hellion-s away. It does indeed feel like a blend of all the crazy things that come in these colors, and you did that much very well. It’s not broken, but it’s powerful, and it’s repeatedly monstrous (not the mechanic, lol) with the fear that it’ll return (until someone Doom Blades it, but that’s the game for ya). Great feeling of a massive beautiful monster.

Improvement: Really, the one thing I would do to improve it would be to consolidate the second and third triggers into “When Draxys enters the battlefield, draw four cards, put four +1/+1 counters on it, then it deals 4 damage divided as you choose among any number of creatures and/or planeswalkers.” No, wait—why not make it an 8/8 and just have it draw cards and deal damage? Because of its massive cost, you’re not gonna play it and then activate Wheel of Fortune in the same turn unless you’re playing some crazy massive game, and then it just shuffles away anyway! So, my suggestion would be to make this one massive bomb when it hits and really get the Timmy out of it.

Nitpicks: None!

@jsands84 — Quarrel, Tariff Enforcer

Intent: The colors are obvious enough, right? A sphinx (blue) based on taxing and punishing (white) to make your opponents lose life (black). Couldn’t be simpler. The color weight is reminiscent of standard cards like Ultimatum cycles but heck, we’ve seen weirder commander cards in the past. I like the fact that even though the color weight is really heavy, the keywords support that kind of aggression without being too overbearing like we’ve seen in other chase rares and mythics.

Improvement: That said, I don’t think it needs that weight at all. 3WUB would have done the exact same and it wouldn’t have looked awkward. Why would it need that weight in the first place? Well, perhaps if it entered the battlefield with an amazing immediate effect. And this card, well, it doesn’t. You have a great eye for flavor and the fact that a legendary (read:uniquely adept) sphinx is enforcing the tax laws of the universe? 10/10. But it doesn’t need that kind of punishment, especially considering, like, the effect really doesn’t come up outside of vintage. So yeah, reduce the weight.

Nitpicks: In the flavor text, “their” referring to the universe is kind of an odd pronoun. With most cases IIRC the concept is objectified instead of personalized, see Aether Adept. (Also there aren’t many cards with ‘universe’ in the flavor text, surprisingly.)

@justincase-1012 — Startling Wisp

Intent: Illusions are almost entirely blue (and one of only two illusions with zero blue in its box is Esper-centric, funnily enough) so that’s all interesting, but this is definitely breaking from the artifact theme and going for color flavor. The fact that it is the one doing the startling is somewhat black, but the discard definitely is. Because of the narrowness of this ability, I feel that it’s intended to be a draft/standard oriented card as opposed to eternal breadth. A 1/1 flying indestructible spirit in these colors is honestly pretty fair and ghostly!

Improvement: This card is too narrow to be common but definitely too specific to be rare, and that narrowness really is...weird. It doesn’t just require noncombat damage, but it requires noncombat damage from creatures. Why? “The next time a source would deal noncombat damage to you or another creature you control this turn” would be perfectly reasonable. Also, why the next phase? Just have it say “Then, if ~ is on the battlefield, return it to its owner’s hand.” The timing doesn’t feel necessary. And honestly, I don’t find this card “startling” much. It’s alluring, certainly, but not startling. Consider renaming and tightening the focus. Too narrow and things just get ugly.

Nitpicks: So you do need “this turn” as I said above, and then looking at other printed oracle text: “that damage is dealt to ~ instead” etc. etc.

@kytheon4-4 — Surrak of New Atarka

Intent: Surrak was a three-color monster the last time we saw him, and he’s back in action now and reclaiming his colors. This is definitely meant to be a commander of sorts, hyper-aggressive with some awesome combat to boot. The first ability’s Gleam of Battle is really aggressively costed here but it makes sense in a timeline when he’s reclaimed some kind of new unity. And of course, the callbacks to both Tarkir timelines is there and well and good. Color-wise, your choice to then go ahead and make a future new timeline is really interesting and I can feel that sort of “new ‘Naya’” blood pumping in Surrak’s veins.

Improvement: The first damage trigger is great, if pretty pushed for Naya colors. The second clause is… Well, call it a “winmore” if you want, but it really is a winmore. Big creatures are big and that’s okay, but if they’re that big and dealing damage, then an indestructible counter is kind of adding insult to injury. And frankly, why not combine these all into one trigger, so that the Gleam ability is just a little less pushed? Whenever the creature deals damage, THEN it gets a counter, and IF it’s four or greater THEN you draw a card, and THEN if it’s eight or greater, something weird happens.

Nitpicks: None!

@mardu-lesbian — Contentious Pair

Intent: A white Soldier, a red Goblin, and a deathtouch counter, and yep, the gang’s all here. Token-making in red and white is pretty standard, a little less for BR and more heavily in the white part of WB, but all the same there’s nothing wrong with that appearing in the three-color combo. It’s interesting you went for a post-Conflux kind of deal with Alara...wedges? Really unique. This is most definitely designed to be a common card for a standard expansion, meant to be drafted and whatnot. It implies a lot about the potential future!

Improvement: I’m unsure how you came up with these colors and creature types. Bant, the shard of soldiers, and Jund, of Goblins, do have one shared color: green. But then this card would have been what, white-green-red? And that’s problematic in another way, and I get that. As it stands, though, this feels heavily weighted towards BR and less towards white, and honestly, this feels definitely uncommon. You get two bodies at instant speed, one of which will most likely destroy an attacking creature. Instant deathtouch isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it’s been in standard for a bit. The bodies and potential permanent deathtouch when you have an empty board is what raises the complexity. My flavor question: why are they contentious? Makes me feel like we’re seeing the start of the story more than a split-second moment; this card might feel better as an uncommon sorcery.

(Also, I’m just imagining them coming over a mountain at instant-speed during combat, and the soldier and the goblin are just talking about their differences and the goblin is showing off their poison dagger when a beast just WHAMS into them and they both instantly die as the soldier looks on in shock and horror. I do love it when cards tell weird stories.)

Nitpicks: None, I don’t think.

@misterstingyjack — Galtiber, Segovian Titan

Intent: Ah, the memes. Well, still, 1/1 tribal is an interesting take on the whole build-around-me dealio. I can honestly say I’m unsure where this card would fit, but that’s not a bad thing. It feels build-around me, but could it work in a limited environment? You’d need a higher as-fan of 1/1s or tokens, and that’s not a bad thing. Honestly, this card doesn’t feel too bad. He’s a protector and he makes them all work together. It’s a neat little design that captures the diligence, unity and edification of these citizens.

Improvement: I really can’t think of a place where this card would see play, though, and the issue is? There’s no real way to improve that past putting this in a pretty bonkers set where it can either go nuts or be mediocre. There are a lot of cool things you can do with this card, but where does he fit? Segovia is a weird plane and designing for it is hard. I love this card and would love to build with it but the fact is that it’s just going to be weird. I’ll put this in nitpicks, but there’s wording issues. Additionally, talking about the character by name in the flavor text is a little off-putting to me. I’m sure it’s happened before but the story feels like a moment being described more than a character.

Nitpicks: “Creatures you control with base power and toughness 1/1” is the correct way to word these things, Iiii think.

@morbidlyqueerious — Ricantha, Ribbon-Dancer (mythic) (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: As much as this technically could be someone’s general, I like this card as a standard-legal mythic, like Kethis or Yarok. It’s surprisingly easy to understand while being quite powerful in its own way. I wouldn’t call it a Voltron card so much as I would call it a control bomb, certainly for limited. The white-blue deals with the tapping, more the blue with the freezing, and the alluring aspect and keywords fill in the green. It brings a lot of the multicolored feel even with a monocolor activated ability.

Improvement: You know, the flavor almost outshines the color aspect. Looking back I do see the intent, but I’m also mostly seeing an interesting take on the dancing and the enchanting aspect. They’re vigilant, they ‘tie down’ the creatures, and they make other creatures follow them. Honestly, this is a case of “right card wrong contest,” where you made a great card to convey the specific act of ribbon-dancing and a dance leader so much that it overtakes the intent of color. The jokingly biting way of saying this is that you didn’t pander to me as a judge enough (/s). I don’t know about reach; first strike, maybe, to show their agility?

Nitpicks: The combat trigger should be one sentence, see the oracle on Kamigawa snakes.

@mtg-ds — Majak, Revival Instigator (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Now I wouldn’t call this a gimmick card but I would say that there’s a lot going on here, again, with the flavor. Sacrificing each other creature actually feels white in a Cataclysmic way but with a black edge of making all the zombies. Hasty zombies fills in the red and plays into the instigative aspect, and man, getting everyone out onto the dance floor? I’ll admit that this card is kind of silly with the art, but there’s something unusually cathartic about it. He enters, turns them all into zombies, makes them dance, then whenever someone else dies they join the dance, and when he leaves the music stops. Like, it’s kind of brilliant, how the zombies can’t dance without him. As a flavorful card for a supplemental set I think that you did a fantastic job.

Improvement: My first small note is that the art is again really distracting, and like, I understand that that might’ve been the purpose but “zombie dance party” out of context feels a little unusual, and the name “Revival Instigator” is a touch on the nose. But those are small concerns next to the fact that this card really could have been black/red and wouldn’t have made that much of a difference. Could’ve even kept the Cleric typing. Again, I need to also say that this card is downright fantastic mechanically, but just not quite white there for the purposes of this contest. Keep this card as-is, maybe make him a Human IMO. I don’t have any significant improvements.

Nitpicks: None!

@naban-dean-of-irritation — Tamakoma, Spectral Shiver (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Clever clogs, I looked up that name and it is indeed fitting! Very clever you are, just as clever as giving the UB flash ninja ETB feeling that strikes fear into the heart of those who don’t know she’s coming. White’s got the spirit flash and indestructible, black’s got deathtouch, flash, AND indestructible, and blue’s got the ninja feeling. Something tells me this would totally be a supplemental card unless Kamigawa goes three-colors, but to be honest I get a MH1 vibe more, and that’s okay too. Major kudos for making me double-check cards like Ambuscade Shaman for this weird wording.

Improvement: I can see how this card would be white flavorfully; I think its just precedent working against you. Because of the way that black has been encroaching upon indestructible in the past couple years, this card could just be blue-black and fit into the ninja feeling just as well. I personally like the white spirit aspect. It’s just not as present here as I would have liked for this contest. Great card, no mechanical improvements.

Nitpicks: I don’t know if “the hollows of the night” are, like, a thing? I don’t know, just as a writer it reads weird to me. One day I’ll be accredited and that won’t seem like such a jackass comment too.

@nine-effing-hells — Llanlaia Rywh, the Inmost Eye

Intent: I like your take on elves here, using the focus and mood to turn the ordinarily green elves into some warrior monastery funky stuff. I’m getting the sense of a cave world, or some kind of twisted plane where expectations are thwarted and the different races of Magic have to find their own kind of way around. Definitely a face card for the tribe in whatever set it’s based in.

Improvement: There’s no blue and black here, or at least I’m not feeling it mechanically, and for this contest that’s the most important thing. Giving a Runed Halo effect on a pump is really darn powerful, and to have this dismiss any damage or removal at instant speed is definitely powerful and definitely white. The concept of looking within for meditation is a bit blue, sure, but I don’t see that expressed on this card as much. I do have some major presentation issues. The name is almost completely unpronounceable, so consider shortening it and cleaning it significantly. The flavor text is also in need of shortening and edits. “Look within to look around.” With a hint that the elves are blind, boom, you’re golden. So: name change, flavor paring, and consider that this card feels overall white. That said, for flavor and balance reasons for this card, keeping those colors is fine. Also consider that this is a really damn powerful beater.

Nitpicks: None that I can tell.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff — Everlasting Forefather

Intent: Here’s the thing: I’ll get to stuff in the ‘improvements’ section but mechanically, this card is really interesting for a number of flavorful reasons. Three-mana 4/3 with mentor is perfectly powerful in these colors, that’s great, flavorfully fine as a forefather. Creating two spirits upon death, awesome, those are the embodiments of his students and ideals, and most importantly, play into the embalm, where his zombie can teach the spirits after death and makes for great flying beaters, AND that Zombie token will make more spirits in remembrance. The use of flavorful mechanics gives it an interesting edge even if all these individual mechanics could be in mono-white.

Improvement: One, I would personally make this a warrior, but that’s super minor. Two… I can’t think of any reason outside a custom set where you’d have three non-evergreen mechanics from three different sets and two different planes on the same card. It feels like a custom card, not in the sense that it’s at all thoughtless or amateurish, because it’s not, but because there’s no way of making these pieces come together in a meaningful way; it feels like you’re removing the restrictions on what can go together for the sake of it. MH1 did have some mechanical mashups and we’ve explored that before. This feels like a bit too much for what we’re looking for. Honestly, for a custom multicolor cube or w/e, keep this card. But you might also want to consider MSE or having someone render for you, because with the VERY necessary rules text, this one takes up a lot of text; no room for flavor, and no need, ‘cause you do it all naturally anyway.

Nitpicks: Mm, none, I don’t think!

@reaperfromtheabyss — Glorified Minddrinker (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: This is definitely asking to be in a standard/draftable set as a tribal beater. You give it evasion, you use other vampires/warlocks to mess stuff up, you get in, and you drink. BW vampire lifegain meets the milling, and there you have it. What I really like is the fact that it’s “any card,” like Bloodchief Ascension, but that feels blue, because they’re drinking from the mind and not just the body, and I dunno, I REALLY like that kind of neat flavor niche. I also love how this makes a really roundabout already-exploited infinite combo with Sanguine Bond and Mindcrank, both of which are halves of other better combos.

Improvement: Mechanically, there’s nothing to improve here, except you might want to consider some kind of evasion. I think there’s just the nitpick of having “Glorified” in there without any understanding of what makes this creature glorified or why. A snippet of flavor could have helped with that, and with only two abilities. I don’t know, this one just didn’t pop to me for some reason. It’s a perfectly fine submission, and it just needs a little more pop.

Nitpicks: None! Nice and clear.

@shootingstarhunter — Storm Key

Intent: I find it interesting that the mana made from sacrificing is red but the abilities have a central Riku-like fascination. This feels like a supplemental card for sure, although I’m sure there are standard shenanigans. It would require a set in which RUG/Temur has an artifact theme and in which giving things storm is on the table. I have the feeling that in a genuinely competitive Maelstrom Wanderer deck that this card could turn a possible win into a guaranteed win. It’s there to help big things be bigger, but without a win-more feel, and I like that.

Improvement: In terms of this contest, it lacks elegance in its cohesion. The flavors don’t necessarily blend as well as they could. There’s a lot of rules text that emphasizes the separation rather than blending it together. My suggestions: Make it just cost RUG, no generic, reword the first ability to be: “When ~ is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, add R for each spell you’ve cast this turn,” and the second ability to “5, T, Sacrifice ~: When you cast your next instant, sorcery or creature spell this turn, copy it for each spell you’ve cast before it this turn.” And then add reminder text about targets and permanents. A tiny bit more flexible and less text, and you can add in some flavor. Personally I don’t really get the “Key” aspect. It feels more like a big machine of sorts.

Nitpicks: Remember to capitalize “Sacrifice” in the ability costs. Second reminder text should be “You don’t choose new targets for the copies.” I think, there’s not much precedent. Check the MSE Discord for tech help in getting your name/type text straightened out if you’d like.

@snugz — Erratic Polymorph (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: This does feel very wild, more of the Temur frontier or even the Ketria triome. Either one of those sets getting a return could have this, or a supplemental draft set on that world, or a commander product aimed at those timelines. This card’s pretty flexible in that sense! The red lack of control over twisty magic is definitely evident, with the green bear and the blue otters as representative of those sides of the wild. I like how you took blue’s natural sense and made it river/forest oriented. Big boys and little boys do different kinds of cool damage. I can dig it! (Although I’m more inclined to bears than otters myself…)

Improvement: I wouldn’t call this “elegant” as a primary adjective for its color balance, even though it’s very neat still overall. The obviousness of green being bears and blue being otters doesn’t take away from the fact that both of them make sense. The long and short is that I don’t have card improvements, and this card’s just for a different contest.

Nitpicks: None-zo

@starch255 — Dopplicant

Intent: Very clever, I see. You used white’s enchantment base for the card type even though it’s a strictly red and blue ability. Copying any spells is on the table now with Lithoform Engine so that makes sense. This could be in just about any set with these colors, and you know what, that’s perfectly fine. Jeskai, Raugrin (ugh), or otherwise, there’s cool stuff happening.

Improvement: With a vague name and flavor, it’s easy to have this card be a thumbs-up mechanically, but what...exactly is it? It’s name makes me think of the creature Duplicant, which is fine, makes sense, although it’s not a creature here like any of the other “-cant” cards. I just can’t place it, which is obviously a presentation thing over a mechanical issue. For the Fair, presentation is somewhat important, and also contextualizes your cards. It might just be a “me” thing to keep in mind for when I’m judging, so don’t take it personally at all. I think the idea is sound and all we need is polish.

Nitpicks: None~

@stormtide-leviathan — Jeskai Confluence

Intent: Like the confluences of C15, this is a charm-like modal spell with three pretty standard modes for the colors: blue draw, red damage, white erase. I can see this being part of either a standard return to that other timeline or as part of a “clan clash” supplemental set for sure.

Improvement: In the main post, there were examples like Shattergang Brothers that were posted as technically fine but not elegant. Totally separating your colors and abilities was part of that, breaking the cohesion. Unfortunately, charm effects were most definitely part of that area. I know that Magic design space isn’t eternally open, and I hate to say this, but because this card uses 2/3 abilities already found on the printed confluences and only minorly changes the damage, this feels somewhat derivative. I would go back to the drawing board and look at overlap rather than individualization, what the colors could have done together to make a card that creates something unique.

Nitpicks: There should be a period after “once” instead of an emdash.

@thedirtside — Twisted Design

Intent: I think that with Tezzeret being who he is and with the cool trend of colored artifacts, this card could absolutely find play in a variety of places. It feels almost like a story card, someone’s terrible (well, twisted) creation. That much is absolutely apparent. The counter/exile is definitely blue and black-ish but I like how the theft kind of ends up being red as well and the artifact typing helps with that. Flavor text is pretty okay too. Short, simple.

Improvement: That...second ability. Are you choose a card as part of a cost? I’m no rules guru but I’m almost certain that you can’t do that. And it doesn’t specify the speed, so you can basically pay the (very fair) cost to exile the spell, but then very unfairly get it back anytime you want. Why random, too? What if that spell has other random restrictions or no legal targets? There’s a lot to unpack from that with no printed precedent because, to put it bluntly, it doesn’t work within the rules. I really like the idea of having a card where you can somehow steal, twist, or morph their spells into new nightmares or futures. Work with that idea to make something URBy that, well, works rules-wise.

Nitpicks: It took me a bit to find your source photo with your source link (X), and I don’t even think that blog’s using proper permission. Here’s the gist: if you can’t find the original photographer, either go stock or don’t use art, OR find a source that’s more easily traceable. Pretend that you’re someone who has to find the source working backwards.

@walker-of-the-yellow-path — Ziziphus, the Lotus Eater

Intent: I could never be like him, I could never talk like that. Also, thank you for making this explicitly commander-based, heh. Food tokens are interesting, and I can see the token art already as well as the kind of person you might imagine Ziziphus to be. Oddly enough, they feel Therosian, considering the “lotus eaters” in the Odyssey, and that’s not a bad thing I suppose. Food’s sort of in the green area, with blue-white profiteering, and the general combat lull sort of encapsulating the whole GWU-ish control feeling. Turbo-fog ahoy.

Improvement: Competitive commander gets shut down pretty easily and casual commander becomes almost instantly unfun. It’s an instant-speed everyone-gets-it nigh-uncounterable Pacifism array that’s flavorfully understandable but puts a target on you as the one person to kill if anyone wants this game to ever end. I understand the top-down design but it’s impractical and I don’t see a game where this being your commander would make the gameplay better. So like Gwafa Hazid, consider your design: what would entice people to take the food? What’s the payoff? How often do you want this to happen to improve gameplay without causing staleness? Is food where you want to go, using lifegain to then further prolong the game?... Oh. Oh, someone can also just lorus-ify Ziziphus itself and then nothing happens in this version. That’s something to consider.

Nitpicks: The name’s really similar to “Sisyphus” in pronunciation. I was distracted.

@whuh-oh — Tainted Lightninghorn

Intent: Some day, I think we’re gonna get a five-color Lightning Blankemental kind of card, and I can’t wait for it. So yeah, it’s an aggressive predatory insect elemental with nasty sauce, and I feel this in a supplemental set for sure.

Improvement: So as an uncommon, it’s already pretty pushed, too much so. Ball Lightning set a precedent, and it’s a rare for a reason, honestly. That much power even for four mana with the abilities you’ve given it is a but much. For this card, most importantly, I need to be as clear as I can: The interaction between deathtouch and trample is an unintuitive quirk of the game. They do not belong on the same card with zero restrictions, especially not on an uncommon. Sometimes it’s okay to just make a cool card because it’s cool. I like my weird cards, I like my weird interactions. Forcing them feels like choosing indulgence over good design. I’m not feeling the uniqueness of the colors, I’m not feeling the flavor (why does lightning leave decay?), and I’m not feeling the gameplay. Where do we go from here? I think this general concept is fine for a personal set or a supplemental concept. Contextualize it for that area, look at environmental answers, and then see if you want to play with what the colors do.

Nitpicks: I’m 90% sure it’d go “Deathtouch, haste, menace, trample.” Also, I’m sure someone pointed out the whole flying-without-flying thing for the art, that’s very mildly distracting.

@wolkemesser — Murmurs of the Bosk

Intent: Yeah, this is very much a Lorwyn-inspired card, and I’m happy for that. Both the treefolk flavor and the permanent return are green, returning to the battlefield is white and black, and the white enchantment plus toughness matters (also in green) gives this card a magnificent flow of feeling, the trees returning. I can see this in any set, but especially a standard return to Lorwyn, and yet it could have a home in several cool recursion decks! It’s a nice little addition for both lovers of slow return and for treefolk fans.

Improvement: This card was going to be a runner-up or even a judge pick, but the severity of nitpicks grew until I realized that there were just too many problems to give it full commendation. I’ll put the revised wording in the ‘nitpicks’ bar and get to the big ones: the name, and the flavor text. The name is obviously an homage to Murmuring Bosk, right? That’s understandable, but the name is literally so close that I can’t think of anything else. The difference between being honoring and being derivative is enigmatic at times. This particular case is more evident. And the flavor text is almost completely ripped off from Doran’s card itself. Literally, it keeps the order and adds four words that don’t add sense or depth to the character. For future submissions, keep that in mind. As a mechanical suggestion, you could just have it be the greatest toughness without targeting, and it does need to target the card in the graveyard.

Nitpicks: “At the beginning of your upkeep, you may return target permanent card with converted mana cost X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the greatest toughness among creatures you control.”

Join us tomorrow, for a new contest, and a brush...with DEATH.

- @abelzumi

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #commentary #three cheese blend #inventor's fair #long post

14 notes · View notes

bnhavibes · 5 years

Note

Y/n goes out on a late-night run to get out some nervous energy and ends up running longer than expected. Since their still not tired they decided to call their best friend Shinso to ask if they can come over for a bit. You can decide from there, thank you b.

announcements!!

requests can take a while, i’ve decided to start writing a fic 🥰 but i haven’t chose who to pair with my OC so im going to have you vote in my asks!(or dm me on discord if u want to make certain requests too!

do you want reader insert with (y/n) or should we just name the OC? (side note: whats an alluring name?) <answer a for (y/n), b for (your suggestion).

should it be bxg, bxgxb, or gxgxb? <answer a, b or c>

who would you like to see in this pairing(s)? <answer a, Katsuki Bakugou, b, Shouto Todoroki, c, Izuku Midoriya, d, Ejirou Kirishima, e, Denki Kaminari, f, Momo Yayaorozu, g, Jirou Kyouka, h, Hitoshi Shinsou, i, League of Villains (insert up to 2 members unless you’ve picked a student or hero), j, any other options besides Endeavor, Aayoma, Tokoyami, Asui, Shigaraki, and anybody who’s personality i cannot portray lmfao)

Shinsou, Hitoshi x Reader

(request)

(NSFW) warning!

cussing, some heavy makeouts with descriptive characteristics

not actual penetration

but enough steam to keep it: moisy

College aged upUA! (so basically ua is a college lmao)

18+

this one is gonna be long since i pushed it off so far sorry bb😭

“Hey, you up?”

you: (typing) So I’ve been running for way longer than I thought, stuck thinking and overthinking about my life and I found myself by your apartment and wanted to stop by to get some advice? I know it’s pretty late but you’re always saying if you need me at 2am |

“Fuck, no, I can’t say that!” You growl in frustration before erasing the dumb text. Twiddling your thumbs above the screen as your hands laced the back of your device, you pace around, frantic about how you were gonna tell your old best friend that you were outside his apartment and desperately freezing. (it was like the middle of the night, and yet you were out in a crossed-back tank top, with a windbreaker and loose running shorts.

You and Shinsou have known each other for as long as you remember. You weren’t on good terms for a while; The first time he announced that he got his Quirk, you were out sick, and all of the kids in your class teased and picked on him. He essentially blamed you for not being there and defending him, but you guys didn’t see each other between the end of middle school and middle of high school. Now that you both go to UA, and are at the mercy of pros, you have to deal with working together for the sake of the citizens (even if you have bad blood between you). But you didn’t expect him to be so relieved when he saw you at school. And the two of you got along so well, it was like he was never even mad at you. He did bring it up, once, but he has only ever been nothing but kind to you when you started studying with him.

Then you started hanging out with him.

More and more.

More boundaries being pushed.

More times you’re together than not.

More things to study for? Hah, typical.

Then you’re having sleep overs.

Where you sleep in his bed.

...And he spoons you.

..........Weird.

‘Thats weird, right?’ You think to yourself the morning after. Nobody should be in the same bed with other people if they’re not together right? Shouldn’t it feel weird that you went to bed with another adult? That’s just your friend?

you: Are we just frien—

You stop yourself before even finishing that idiotic question, groaning in frustration. “What the hell do I say to him?” You tell your device more than yourself, at this point, just looking for answers.

New Message: Shinsou

Your eyes bulge out of your head and your hands almost drop your phone at the sudden vibration in your hand.

Shinsou: yeah, im just up doing dumb shit on my computer anyways

you: you mean like beating off? ewwww tmi Shinsou Hitoshi 🥴

Shinsou: fuck you (Y/f&l/N) 😂

Shinsou: if you want me to beat off before you get here, i can tho

you: i mean you’ll have enough time do it, i just so happen to be walking in to your apartment complex 😂😉

You giggle as you head up the stairs to his small student apartment, knowing the way all too well by memory.

Shinsou: wtf? 🤨 why were you all the way over here.

you: i couldn’t sleep, so i decided to go jogging

you: turns out i was drugged

you: kidnapped

you: and returned nearby because i kept annoying the shit out of the dudes

Shinsou: figures. 💀

Shinsou: i would’ve dropped you off at the loony bin tho

Shinsou: we’d probably both have to sign in tbh😂😂

you: 😒 come open the door ya punk.

The warm smell of freshly cooked— or reheated— pizza filled your nostrils as the door was opened for you. Stepping in and removing your shoes, you glance around to see if anyone else was over.

“Sorry, I know I said I would clean it.” He mumbles, thinking you were looking at the mess of a living area he made this morning. (because building forts is cool, okay?)

“No, you’re good,” You chuckle as you remove your jacket, “it IS your house anyways. Not like i can tell you what to do.”

A pregnant pause filled the air before you realized he had went and disappeared to his room and you were still by the door. Shaking your head at yourself, you follow him, building up courage to confront last night’s cuddle thing.

When you got to his room, however, he had laid out a towel on his bed and was looking through his closet. You dropped your shoes and looked around to seethat his shower was running, and there was the hair brush you lost on his desk (with a sticky note that said ‘Text (y/n) you found it. Reminder #251’). There was still rummaging behind you when you look at him in the reflection of his computer.

When he pulls out a shirt of his that you always compliment him in.

And a pair of exercise shorts that he hadn’t worn yet.

You blush when you realize he wants you to shower in his bathroom.

And then put his clothes on.

“Hit—Hitoshi-san?” You questioningly squeak, squeezing your eyes shut once you hear how cringey it sounded to be calling him by his last name again.

He notices the change, though, blinking softly at you with a shirt in hand. “I—... I just thought you, m-maybe wanted to shower. Cause you’re sweaty and stuff. Plus you might be able to fall asleep better.” He defended himself, putting his hands up.

“N-No, I know, I just...” You face him, avoiding his gaze. “I have to.. um...” You couldn’t do it. You were backing out.

“Tell me, what’s on your mind? I’m here if you need to talk.” He says, trying to catch your eyes as he steps toward you.

“Hito-sssh-hitt. Ugh! Why is it so hard to tell you!?” You curse your tongue for letting you sputter so embarrassingly in front of your best friend. You pace toward Shinsou, but turn back, groaning as you face palm repeatedly.

“You’re acting weird, (Y/N). Since when were you calling me by my last name, you know you can call me pretty much anything else. I swear if you say some dumb shit about another prank I’m gonna—

“Are we just friends or what?” You spat, slapping a hand over your mouth as soon as the words slipped out.

“What?”

The look on his face was so.... precious?

His eyes widened a little, mouth agape with loss, and shoulders cringing a bit at his sudden nerves. You removed your hand slowly but turned it into a fist as quick as it landed at your side.

“Y-You heard me. Are we just friends or, is there m-more... between us..” You trailed off, not noticing how close you’d gotten yourself when he was talking to you.

“More?” He asked, his voice seeming to be hung on to a thin string of hope. He inhales sharply before speaking softly:

“I— I thought... Well, to be honest these last few months with you have been awesome b—

“—But you don’t have feelings for me right?” You interrupted him, looking up into (what felt like to him) his soul.

So it was just you? You started to leave, his hesitation enough of an answer for you.

“No, I- Hey, wait!” He was confused, the poor boy, as to how you took his words. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s okay, Hitoshi-san.” You say, smiling back at him with a hand on his bedroom door knob.

“S-Seriously! I— Uhm..” He stopped you from opening the door with his hand over yours, pushing the door closed all together when he tripped over a loose shoe and against your body.

You gasp at the sudden fall, but can’t help but worry about him.

“Are you okay?” You ask, helping him stand up straight. “Sorry about the shoe— Mmmph?”

He kissed you so softly, you’d think it was a ghost. His hands cupped around your head, fingers laced through your hair as they almost support your movements. Instinctively you’re kissing him back, letting his body tower over yours and press you harder against the wall. His lips were like soft pillows, and his tongue flicked at your lips, teeth, and tongue so well that you couldn’t help but pull him in closer and closer; the longsleeved sweatshirt he had on was bunching up from your grasps, and you could feel his skin just barely grazing your own. You’re subconsciously tracing designs on his sides with your fingers, slowly running them along the hem as it lifts up when the feeling of heat in your stomach (and face) brings you back to your realitive plain of existence.

You’re currently making out with your best friend.

And you can feel how much he likes it.

“Sh-Shinsou, I—I’m sweaty.” You say, pushing him back a little.

He raises an eyebrow at you. (is that really gonna stop him? shusoskfkdjd)

Then he’s back on your lips, picking your legs off the ground and pulling them around his hips; pressing you back into the wall and grinding himself so deliciously against you. Soft moans escape your lips as his own travel to your neck, hands creeping up your shirt this time. Instead of touching you, however, he only lightly grazes your skin with the lads of his fingers up your torso until hes able to lift your shirt off (with help from you of course). Once it’s off, he’s back at your neck, leaving sloppy kisses before grabbing you by the ass and walking to his bathroom.

He set you down on the sink counter, ridding himself of his shirt and lowering himself down to his knees; His hands at your hips, fingers teasingly looping the elastic waistband of your shorts. He looks up at you with those eyes— The ones that ignite the flame in your core, those piercing, desperate eyes. He’s leaning his head into your thigh as he looks up at you, a smile smirk shows that your reaction to his wherebouts must be entertaining to him. You can feel your core tremble as he lays kisses on your legs, occasionally taking a nice long drag of his tongue along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and stopping at the hem of your shorts. Letting a tiny gasp slip, you place your hands on his to stop him. He looks up at you for a second, but his worries wash away when he sees your hardened nipples and flush skin.

“You look so cute like this.” His voice breaks the tension in the air before he kisses your thighs again. “So flustered and confused.” He bites down gently on your skin, causing you to stifle a moan. He sucks slowly, his teeth just grazing you enough to leave a mark, but not enough to make it hurt. You gasp when his head moves to your centre, the heat of his exhales sending chills up your spine.

“You’re just... so naughty, aren’t you (Y/N)?” He whispers onto the thin cloth before laying his head back down on your leg, pulling your shorts down painfully slow. “You’re absolutely soaked, huh? I can smell you from here.” He looks at you, cueing you to lift your legs up, pulling your shorts off completely before returning to his position between your legs.

“No panties, huh?” He chuckles, scooting you to the edge of the counter by your hips. “You’re so god damn beautiful.” He whispers on your lips, your mouth just slacked enough for him to take advantage of, slipping his tongue straight past your teeth and directly brushing against your tongue. You feel yourself pooling over the counter, soaking against his boxers when he starts to take them off.

“Tell me what you wanna do.” He says against your collarbone, fingers still looped around the edges of his boxers.

“I, I need to sh-shower.” You squeak.

“You’re so fucking cute,” He says after chuckling. “I meant me, kitten, now do you want me or not?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“I — I want you, Shinsou. I want all of you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, (Y/N).”

“I’m not, I promise— but, ugh, can you just fuck me already?”

The boldness of your words cracks a shit eating grin you only knew from that class 1-A asshat onto Shinsou’s face.

“Get in the fucking shower then.”

#CLIFFFFF HANGERRRRRR #OOOOOOOOO #PLEASE DONT HATE ME AHSKDKEJSM #I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS #I TRIED SO HARD #AND GOT SO FAR #PLS

79 notes · View notes

ladyhistorypod · 4 years

Text

Episode 6: Ask Santa to Bring a Vote for Mother

Sources:

Mabel Ping-Hua Lee

National Parks Service

National Women’s History Museum

Further Reading: Women’s Vote 100, 18 Million Rising

Delilah Beasley

California State University Northridge (CSUN)

New York Times

Huntington Library

Ohio History

KQED

Ida B. Wells

History Channel

National Women’s History Museum

National Parks Service

Black Past

New York Times

Chicago History Encyclopedia

Washington Post (Alana definitely did NOT cry while reading it)

Further Reading on race and suffrage: NPR

Attributions:

Dooley’s Address

“Your mother’s gone away to join the army”

Cheering Crowd

Click below for a full transcript of the episode!

Lexi: I started my internship at the Air and Space museum,

Haley: Woohoo!

Lexi: and the first day I am there, we have a live chat with a WASP expert who talks about Jackie Cochran and how Jackie Cochran might have been a racist. And I was like, there’s new layers to this story. And I know it sounds weird but I'm thrilled that this person might have been a racist but I'm just always interested to learn new things about people that I have known things about.

Haley: No I love when these stories come out and people are adding like the actual history part of it.

Lexi: the context, the history, the actual person’s views because we often just like glorify a figure.

Haley: And that’s a lot with the suffragists. This topic has it.

Lexi: But it's just so interesting because we often glorify these people. We can't accept that she did really awesome things by getting women into the Air Force but also did really shitty things by making sure Black women didn't get into the Air Force. So.

Haley: Yes. Exactly.

Lexi: But she did let in Asian women. There were apparently two Chinese American WASPs. I also learned that.

Haley: On a side note, can we– if we get reviews can we like read the reviews?

Alana: You wanna do a segment where we read reviews?

Haley: Like every week being like– because we can do that as like our banter if we can't– and be like “our weekly review is…”

Lexi: Listener shout out. Here’s a review.

Haley: This person.

Lexi: Yeah.

Haley: Yeah

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History, the good the bad and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. Coming to you virtually from my closet turned podcasting studio is Lexi. Lexi, if you were a single issue voter, what issue would that be?

Lexi: Probably bird– bird care, bird health, bird ability to exist, bird ownership.

Alana: Are you a birds’ rights activist?

Lexi: I am a bird rights activist.

Alana: And her face is partially hidden by my clothes but Haley, aka a Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots, is here too. Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots, it’s been two weeks since we last recorded and we already did one episode tonight, did ya think I’d forget?

Haley: I really was hoping you would forget. I did. I kind of– I keep forgetting it’s Sprinkle McPuss-n-Boots. I keep thinking it’s Sparkle or something. But like once in a while that’ll creep into my mind.

Alana (laughing): Lexi is losing her shit.

Lexi: Please contact us and direct your message to Haley using this title, please.

Alana: To Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots. And I’m Alana and please, god, register to vote.

Haley: My registering to vote has not happened yet because of the god damn DMV. And it makes me so mad.

Alana: I'm still registered in California. I haven’t switched.

Haley: I’m registered in New York.

Alana: But I might be moving in January, so…

Haley: Back to California?

Alana: No, in with Lexi. Hopefully. We haven’t talked about that.

Lexi: We’ll see.

Alana: We’ll see.

Lexi (stammering): GW?

Alana: That’s the dream.

Lexi: But, um…

Alana: GW has to let me into school first.

Lexi: Yeah.

Alana: Okay, who's going first that's not me?

Lexi: Mabel Ping-Hua Lee was born in Guangzhou, China on October 7, 1897 so shout outs to her upcoming one hundred and twenty third birthday. Can we get some happy birthdays for my girl?

Alana: Happy birthday in the chat.

Haley: Happy birthday.

Lexi: Happy birthdaaay. I don't know how to say Happy Birthday in Chinese because, as is a common theme on this show, none of us speak Chinese, as you may know, as you may have knowledge of. But anyway. When Mabel was four, her father, a pastor, moved to the United States to work as a missionary and Mabel stayed with her mother in China. At the age of nine, Mabel earned a special scholarship which was called the Boxer Indemnity Scholarship. I'm unsure why it is called that. That scholarship she received, and it allowed her to obtain a visa and move to the United States, to go to school in the United States. And in 1905 her entire family relocated to New York City's Chinatown so that Mabel could pursue her education in America. There is no direct record of how Mabel got involved in the suffrage movement, but it is clear that through being a young, educated woman living in New York City, she was able to participate in activities being led by local suffragists. And then, Mabel was beginning to become a leader in the movement in her own right. In 1912, Mabel helped manage a parade for suffrage and she rode horseback; she helped direct the marchers from the parade starting point at Greenwich Village. Historical accounts suggest at least ten thousand spectators witnessed the parade which she led. Her participation in the suffrage movement led to another accomplishment: she was featured in the New York Tribune and The New York Times as a teen activist and icon of New York’s suffrage movement. That same year, Mabel started school at Barnard College, a women's school founded because Colombia was a men's only university at the time. She decided to major in history and philosophy. In college, Mabel joined the Chinese American student association and wrote for the Chinese students’ monthly paper. Her essays, such as “The Meaning of Woman Suffrage,” supported her fight for women's rights. In 1915, Mabel gave a speech for the Women's Political Union and was again featured in The New York Times her speech was called “The Submerged Half” and focused on the gender divide in the Chinese American community. She urged Chinese Americans to educate their daughters and allow women to participate in civic life. In 1917, women in New York earned the right to vote in their state. In 1920, some women were given the federal right to vote with the passing of the 19th amendment, but many women, including Mabel, still could not vote. Mabel, like many other Chinese Americans, longed for citizenship and voting rights, but they could not obtain either. They were restricted from gaining citizenship through the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act. Mabel would have to keep fighting in order to obtain her right to vote. After finishing her undergraduate degree, Mabel earned her MA from Columbia's Teachers’ College and she later earned her PhD in economics, also from Columbia. She was the first Chinese woman to earn a PhD in economics. She also published her thesis “The Economic History of China.” Shortly after Mabel finished her doctorate, her father passed away. Mabel decided to take over his role as a church leader, becoming the director of the first Chinese Baptist Church of New York City. She also founded New York City's Chinese Christian Community Center, which offered courses in English and vocational skills to newly immigrated Chinese Americans. The center also provided health care and child care to the Chinese community. The Chinese Exclusion Act was repealed December 17, 1943, sixty one years after it was first enacted. The repeal of this act meant Chinese Americans could become citizens, and in doing so, earn the right to vote. Mabel passed away in 1966. No record of Mabel becoming a US citizen or exercising her right to vote exists. Scholars remain unsure if the girl who fought to retain the right to vote for so many other women ever even voted herself.

Haley: Wow. I love her. I know her from…

Alana: That’s really interesting.

Haley: I know her… Where do I know her from? Oh! A history book in high school. She was like briefly mentioned. And I get into this kind of like my background and women's suffragists that she's mentioned, then never again. And that that happened so many times in high school to so many different women. They just plop their name in, but not give like a history? Like I only knew Susan B. Anthony, and I thought Susan B. Anthony in my head did everything of the suffragist, or suffrage movement, as it was explained.

Lexi: I actually think it's really amazing your high school book mentioned her because currently, as of 2020, no K-12 education standard in the United States mentions an Asian American woman by name. So...

Haley: So let me… maybe it wasn't a book– let me rephrase this. My junior year American history high school class I remember her name coming up.

Lexi: That’s just pretty impressive that your teacher included something that was off of the course standards because–

Haley: She was a rad lady.

HALEY’S STORY STARTS

Alana: Alright Haley, go for it.

Haley: So my gal today is Delilah Beasley. So born in Cincinnati, Ohio on September 9, 1876. She was mainly the kind of known as an Oakland gal. Shout out to the American Bookbinders Museum in San Francisco. That was my summer internship. I'm finishing, actually my internship up right now and she's one of the people I had to research for our exhibit that's online now but will be in like our gallery hall. And it's celebrating “Celebrating the 19th Amendment, Suffragists in Print” because it’s a printing museum. She’s from Ohio, but she's known in like the Oakland, Bay Area so she's a local gal, for our museum. And I loved like researching the local gals knowing that I wouldn't be in San Francisco all that long. But also it was really cool if you guys look on the actual exhibit– go, again, plug– the American Bookbinders Museum “Celebrating the 19th Amendment,” we have like maps of San Francisco and where all like the printing presses from like the suffragist movement were at and like I've been to that street! Like I know exactly that building, I've been at the like Jamba Juice or the Starbucks or the Gap that’s right there. So that's very super cool. So back to Delilah. She is known as a writer, columnist, activist, suffragist, and just overall an incredible human being. Before I want to highlight that, being a Black woman, Delilah Beasley is often overlooked when discussing women's right to vote and the suffragist movement. In her early life, she attended a segregated Cincinnati public school and by the age of twelve she had begun to write and publish short social notices in the local Black newspapers and some White newspapers such as the Cleveland Gazette and Cincinnati Enquirer. She continued to write at the young age, published in high school, and spent time learning about journalism by working for the Colored Catholic Tribune. In the 1880s– so again she was a teenager– her parents died and her siblings were separated. She had to leave her life of journalism and to be employed as a maid. As a maid, she also held so many different jobs and I couldn't figure out if she specifically was a maid and then left the job, or just had three jobs at one time. I wouldn't be surprised if she had three, four– as many jobs as she needed to sustain herself and her sibling. But some of those jobs included her being a hairdresser, hydrotherapy, medical gymnastics, massage therapy, nursing– and she never let go of that ideal dream of being in journalism. In her spare time, she would be researching Black history and becoming part of the thriving women's movement, especially within Black women and social groups. Some years later, she enrolled in history courses and began training herself in historical researching by visiting various libraries, diving into those archives that us as museum gals know and love, and conducting oral interviews with older Black residents and I believe there was one, but it could have been many– this article that I read noted one in particular about their personal experiences as a Black person growing up and living in the United States. And again this is late 1800s, early 1900s. She spent several years examining California newspapers between the 1840s and 1910s, both Black and White, at UC Berkeley's Bancroft Library. I believe that's still the university library today. She soon began lecturing on Black history and eventually published articles in the Oakland Tribune and the Oakland Sunshine. After nine years of intense research on Black history, Beasley published “The Negro Trail Blazers of California” which was all about Black pioneers who had largely been left out of history books, and the stories dated back to the early Spanish exploration of the United States. And honestly I did not hear about this book in history class. So, yes this is fantastic that this was published and was circulated, but our school system needs to do better and actually incorporate this rather than gloss over it. I’m gonna just say it; I'm gonna put it out there. In 1923, she started her own column “Activities Among Negroes” in the Oakland Tribune. She wanted to use her voice to highlight the achievements of Black Americans, support Black dignity and rights, raise awareness, and overall encourage forward movements towards building space for equality to blossom. And let's just put on another note: we still need to do a lot of work. Black lives matter. She would also travel to different newspapers and– major ones and small ones, the gambit– in the peak of newspapers and the suffragist movement to try to convince the editors to stop using racial language. And honestly I can just imagine her walking in with her own column and her own work being like “I did it, look at this. We don't use bad words. We aren’t offensive. If I can do it, you can do it. Let's all try.” Like she was very encouraging of… this is not saying this is wrong which, it is wrong, let's be clear about that, but more showing the right way to do it; putting it into a more positive perspective which, honestly, it's negative. Don't use that harmful language in your writing. Bottom line. Over the next two decades, Beasley would also serve as an active member of the NAACP, the Alameda County League of Women Voters, the National Association of Colored Women, and just so many different active groups for suffragists, women's education, Black women movement, Black lives, just in general. She's also the president of the Far Western Inter-Radical Committee at the Oakland Museum, which side note, this is a very inclusive museum. Like snaps to them; they are just amazing at getting their community as Oakland involved, just the community as the Bay Area involved, trying to be as diverse as possible. It's definitely on the bucket list of Bay Area museums and I was supposed to go the week after it closed for Covid, which is really depressing because I had two free tickets from one of my classes. We just got them from like a speaker. She came in with vouchers and was like “here are vouchers that I have” and I was like “I want that.” Anyway, I digress. Delilah Beasley continued writing her column “Activities Among Negroes” until her death in 1934. She's buried in Oakland, and I even did like the find my grave so that's available out there. Be respectful if you look it up and go. And I just want to leave you all with something she wrote which I think resonates with what we've been talking about as suffragist movement, recent months with Black Lives Matter, just like Delilah Beasley in general, truly just please go Google her; such an inspiring human. ““My life plus others make a peer to move the world. I, therefore, pledge my life to the living world of brotherhood and mutual understanding between the races.” Like, so simple. That's what I really kind of admired of her, and everything I had to write about her for the exhibit and just own research for this podcast going back. She was never a person– and this is seen in the suffragist movement– of you're wrong, I'm right.

Lexi: When I worked at the Smithsonian Libraries and was working on an American women's history project, she was on our short list of women who were being considered to be featured, but unfortunately didn't make the final cut.

Haley: There's a New York Times, I believe for my– look at the show notes everyone, don't quote me because I don't have my notes in front.

Alana: Lady history pod dot tumblr dot com.

Alana: So there is like– I'm looking at my notes, there is a New York Times I used, the Huntington Library and Art Museum. But for just even I usually type in Delilah Beasley museum. I do that for all my women. I see where they came up in museums. That also connects you to like history sources. National Park Service, libraries… and like I couldn't find like bios about her. It was more they were showcasing specifically Black women and suffragist movement or women's rights. Which is not bad.

Lexi: Well the library– the library was going to consider her because they had some of copies of the stuff she wrote. So–

Haley: Oh, that’s amazing.

Lexi: I think she comes up a lot in like how you found about her from a print type–

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: I think she comes up in like books and writing based places.

Haley: That is definitely one hundred percent true.

Alana: Okay, so, I will be talking about Ida Bell Wells, or Ida B. Wells, her middle name and her last name rhyme and when she gets married actually which is really interesting is she doesn't change her last name she doesn't take her husband's last name. Which if your middle name and your last name rhymed, I would not… I would not change my last name either. Her name is Ida Bell Wells. So she was born in Holly Springs, Mississippi on July 16, 1862 into slavery, right at the height of the Civil War. She's the oldest of eight children and then after the war her parents became very politically active, like in Reconstruction Era, especially her father helps start Rust College which is a historically Black college in Holly Springs, it's still around today. And that is where Ida went for early schooling. And eventually she was may be expelled? I couldn't find anything to back that up but somewhere was like oh she got kicked out for starting some shit with the dean or something and I was like I don't see this anywhere else but interesting, okay? In 1878, she is sixteen years old and her parents and her youngest brother died of Yellow Fever. So she lied about her age to take a teaching job. She convinced the school in Holly Springs that she was eighteen and so she could teach and that's how she is supporting her… her siblings, was by teaching. And just like, becoming a parent essentially. And then in the 1880s she finds another teaching job in Memphis, Tennessee and she moves up to there. Fun anecdote: in 1887, she bought a first class train ticket but was removed because she's Black and segregation and so they wanted to like force her into the smoking car and she refused because she was like “hello, I bought a first class ticket you're gonna put me in the first class car. That's what I paid for. Capitalism.” So when she refused, she was kicked off. She might have bitten someone. She might have bit the guy who removed her. Maybe. I hope she did.

Lexi: People were doing it long before Rosa Parks, I’m just saying. Before buses existed.

Alana: Before buses existed and we were biting people. (laughing) Rosa Parks up your game, maybe bite someone. (more laughing)

Haley: We don’t condone biting–

Alana: We don’t condone biting.

Haley: –on this podcast. Please, do not–

Lexi: I personally condone biting racists, but okay.

Haley: Okay like bite racists.

Alana: Biting racists is fine, but also keep your mask on so maybe not right now for the biting racists?

Lexi: Actually yeah. Right now no biting.

Haley: Also, when you bite people, like why do you want their skin…

Lexi: You don’t want their germs.

Haley: ...on you. Just don't bite people. Punch them maybe? Like if they're being bad bad people like don't go, don't–

Lexi: But the human jaw is a powerful tool.

Alana: It’s true!

(Lexi laughing)

Alana: Anyway, (laughing), so, regardless of whether or not she bit someone, which is my favorite thing in the whole world, she sued the railroad for making her leave, essentially.

Lexi: Even better than the biting. Sue the racists.

Alana: Even better than that: she won. Haley’s face is just like “what?” And I’m like yeah! She won. She won five hundred dollars, and I didn't really feel like doing that conversion from 1887 money to 2020 money but it's probably a lot. Unfortunately, later the Supreme Court overturned it. Like the railroad– it appealed, and appealed and appealed and the Supreme Court overturned it and Ida was forced to pay court fees, so I guess that's where the five hundred dollars went. But that's really– something that's really cool.

Lexi: Wait I just checked. It's thirteen thousand dollars.

Alana: It's thirteen thousand dollars? That's so much money. Okay. It's not that much money but it's so much money.

Haley: I would gladly take thirteen thousand dollars. That's a lot of money.

Alana: After being a teacher for a while, she's starting to publish articles about race issues under the name Iola I-O-L-A in Black newspapers and periodicals. Especially like as a teacher she talks a lot about segregation in schools and how this is like not good for the kiddos. This separate but equal that's bullshit everything sucks. And this launches her journalism career. She ends up owning shares of the Memphis Free Speech and Headlight and Memphis Free Speech, which are Black owned kind of newspapers in Memphis at the time. In 1892, she turns her attention to covering lynchings after her friend Tom Moss and his business partners were murdered because their grocery store was taking customers away from the White grocery store. And so she publishes this pamphlet called “Southern Horrors.” And that's all I'm gonna say about her investigations of lynchings because this is a fun podcast, and that's a little dark, and I think only one trigger warning episode per ten episodes, and we just about a couple weeks ago. So no. After she's calling all this attention to lynchings, she had to– she's run out of Memphis. She has to leave. And she moves to Chicago, and from Chicago, after fleeing Memphis she writes: “If this work can contribute in any way towards proving this, and at the same time arouse the conscience of the American people to demand for justice to every citizen and punishment by law for the lawless, I shall feel I have done my race a service. Other considerations are minor.” Which I just think is very poignant that like, yes you ran me out of my home but if this is what fixes it, so be it. After moving to Chicago, this is where she begins to gain international notoriety, and found some organizations. She travels around the world talking to the suffragists and criticizing them for not talking about lynchings and just being like, “Hi. This is cool, what are you doing for Black women? What are you doing for people of color? What's your deal? Tell me. Why aren't you thinking about this?” And in 1894, she establishes the British Anti-Lynching Society and comes back and settled back in Chicago. This is just like all of her really cool organizations that she's founded. In 1896, she becomes a founding member of the National Association of Colored Women. She brought her anti-lynching campaign to the White House in 1898 to President McKinley and demanded reforms. I don't think anything happened, but she did go to the White House to demand reforms so that's cool. In 1909, she was at the first meeting of an organization that would later become the NAACP, but she's not listed officially as a founding member possibly because they weren't like action based enough for her at the beginning. She wanted like real action in their mission statements and they didn't say anything about that. So on January thirtieth, and I'm only bringing up the exact date do you guys wanna guess why the date January thirtieth might be important to me.

Lexi: Because it's your birthday.

Alana: It is my birthday, you win as friends. So January 30, 1913 she founds the Alpha Suffrage Club, and they play a pivotal role as soon as that June when they get on the Illinois Equal Suffrage Act passed. They play a pivotal role in 1915 in getting Chicago's first Black alderman elected and his name is Oscar DePriest. Ida and several of her Alpha Suffrage Club members are invited to the 1913 Suffrage Parade in Washington DC, but the organizers were worried about offending the Southerners and so they make the Black women and the women of color march at the back. And Ida is pissed, and she won't march with them until the White contingent is past her and then she joins the parade. Which, cool? But also you're still marching at the back? I don't really understand what point that you were trying to prove? I don't know. But okay, cool. Just a little bit of the boring stuff, this is actually the most boring part about her is I'm talk about her husband and her children. Super boring. In 1895, after returning from England she married a man named Ferdinand Barnett who was an attorney and a fellow activist and they had four children. And Ida did not take his name, which was extremely odd for the time, and still not like as big a thing in 2020. It's gaining traction, but it's not like the norm. Another interesting thing about their relationship is that he did the cooking and the cleaning and made dinner for their children almost every night.

Lexi: You said this was gonna be boring! I’m not bored I’m interested!

Alana: This is how cool this lady is– is that even the most boring shit about her is super interesting. His activism and his law career kind of took a backseat while he was raising these children and she was going out and just being a political activist and all around badass. I mean– and he's like at home with their kids, which I think is really cool. In her final years, she was kind of fading from popularity and influence but she still worked on urban reform, especially mass incarceration was something that she was really involved in and– and actively… like that was her cause. She switched from– once women like got the right to vote she was like okay cool, sort of, for now. Let's talk about mass incarceration.

Lexi: We're still talking about it today.

Alana: We're still talking about it today. Nothing changes. Nothing changes. That's a bad– I'm going last, that's a bad note to end this podca– this episode on but… nothing changes.

Haley: Change is gradual and slow.

Alana: Change is gradual and slow. That's true. So the last few years of her life she actually becomes a probation officer and works like with these people who have been mass incarcerated and like rehabilitating them sort of. In 1930, she ran for Illinois State Senate and lost horribly, but she still ran. That's pretty cool, like she is not… Women running for office is not new, which I think is really interesting. At the age of sixty eight in 1931, she died of kidney disease. And I just feel like she was doing so much good all the way until the end, that it's very moving. There is now a– we all lived in DC for a while– there is a mosaic of her at Union Station in DC. And the mosaic is made of other suffragists and their posters and their propaganda… and no comment as to whether or not I cried reading The Washington Post article about it. No comment. I will not be taking questions at this time.

Lexi: One of my coworkers, her friend worked on the exhibition and she was able to get a poster of the pos– of the floor and it's in her house now.

Alana: That's so cool. I– I did cry. If that wasn’t obvious, I was reading about it and I cried.

Haley: Go vote. Please. Do everything in your power to vote in this pandemic.

Lexi: Visit vote dot org. Register yourself, to vote, get voting information. Go check out how to vote locally, use a mail-in ballot if you are in an area where you don't think it is safe for you to go to the polls. If you can get to the polls, get to them. Wear a mask to vote. Be safe!

Alana: There are also areas that you can sign up to be a poll worker.

Haley: Yes.

Lexi: Yes!!!

Alana: Which is what I'm doing. I have signed up for that because–

Haley: I love that.

Alana: –a lot of them are paid, and I have no money. Despite being a professional podcaster I have no money. And it's just like a way to do good in your community, especially in like underserved communities.

Lexi: So yes, get to the polls. Help your friends get to the polls.

Alana: Make sure your friends are registered to vote. Register to vote.Vote early.

Haley: Also just raise awareness. If voting is something difficult for you, like for me I might not even be able to get like a write in ballot because I will be moving and then in quarantine to go vote. It is still unknown. DMV is not handling it well for me. But like I’m still spreading the awareness of voting. Spread the history of how women, Black people, other people of color, other countries, even, getting their right to vote. It's helpful knowledge as a U. S. citizen.

Lexi: And remember some people in America who even are citizens cannot vote, so…

Haley: Exactly.

Lexi: Use your right to vote so you can do it for them who can't.

Alana: So the two websites that you should go to in addition to our show notes are power to the polls dot org– I think it’s dot org– and vote dot org to check your registration.

Lexi: And if neither of those work for you, dude, there are so many other websites out there. Find the one that works for you, get the information you need, figure out how your state and your local community handles all this.

Alana: People I feel like are like “it's a right to vote.” And yes it's a right to vote, but also it's your responsibility. I think if you can it's your responsibility.

Haley: And voting matters. Like your vote matters. I know a lot of people will even say recently that your vote doesn't count– absentee ballot doesn't like matter. No, it matters. Come on. Our electoral college is very screwy and needs a lot of work. Just our whole system needs a lot of work, but regardless, voting is important.

Lexi: Okay.

Alana: And we have to vote out the fascist. Lexi, you can decide whether or not to keep that in. But vote out the fascist. It’s the last chance we have.

Lexi: I am sure people can already assess our political opinions based on the topic of our podcast.

Alana: People can guess.

Speaker 1: And the fact that we’re archaeologists. And out of work.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show keep yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra, you can find her on Instagram and Twitter at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, Next time, on Lady History. Go fucking vote.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on lady history it'll be raining men. Psych. I'll be reining in my urge to sing and we will be talking about some fabulous queens.

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akozuheiwa · 5 years

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Professors Tarron and Johnson

A post-canon not-yet-AU-technically by myself, @lizzylucky, and @brising. See the long post beneath the cut.

After grad school and everything, Seamus goes on to become a professor at the same college he and Krel and everyone went to. Krel drops into class on such a regular basis that the students pretty much regard them as co-professors. At some point, the deans or whatever realise this and sort of offer Krel a position because students seem to like him. Seamus thinks it’s a great idea and that’s how Krel gets coerced into being Professor Tarron.

Krel is the cool professor who doesn’t ever want to be called professor (because Aja made fun of him for it) and tries for a solid three semesters to get his students to exclusively call him DJ Kleb. Seamus is fine being called by first name, but he’ll introduce himself and Krel as “Professors Johnson and Tarron” at the beginning of the semester. Almost always, the two co-teach lecture and then split up lab, except the one not in charge of lab always shows up anyway.

Their students love them, even if tests can occasionally be murder. Class and lab are full of super awesome experiments. Krel shows up some days with something random he invented the night before with the help of either alcohol or caffeine. He’ll take over the class and throw the syllabus to the wind to get his students to help him figure out what, exactly, he invented and how, exactly, he invented it. Some love it. Some hate it because they did the reading which is now out the window. Usually Seamus is very frustrated at first because he “had a plan for today’s lesson, we only have six weeks left in the semester”, but then he just gets super into it too and makes sure it becomes a teaching moment and nothing blows up. Students learn quickly that if you like explosions, you take lab with Krel, and if you’d rather play it safe, you take lab with Seamus.

Sometimes students also bring in things like this, although they usually try not to mention exactly what substance they were on when they created it, except for one student who walks in and shamelessly declares that that weekend she was “super fuckin’ high” and she thinks she mad something awesome but has no idea what it is, and the class spends the entire period reverse-engineering whatever it is only to find out it’s actually just a really, really weird hair-dryer. She gets extra credit just because Krel and Seamus are nostalgic and have, obviously, done the same thing multiple times in school. Unfortunately, this triggers a wave of students trying to replicate it by sleep deprivation or drugs or alcohol, which turns out some really cool class projects, but is banned after one kid passes out in the middle of class. Krel and Seamus either take back all the extra credit or just give everyone equal extra credit.

Students always find out about the Akiridion sci-fi site where all the theories about Krel and Seamus ended up, and they use it both as a forum to keep up with each other and also to speculate about their professors. Graduated seniors and anyone in the know help to make sure there’s no way to prove their favourite professors are (both?) aliens, and Krel and Seamus go through to check as well.

They give all their graduating seniors gifts, whether they were in one of their classes this year or freshman year or never but got stuck with one of them as a major advisor. If the kids were good, trustworthy kids, which most of them are, they get sworn to secrecy and get to find out that, yes, Krel’s actually from space. It’s impossible to convince them Seamus isn’t, but it amuses the two professors enough that they let it go.

They do teach a special senior seminar course that focuses on Akiridion technology, but it’s permission only and you pretty much can only get in if you’re a dedicated student of the Tarron-Johnson duo. Not to mention that the course description is misleading enough that only those students want to take it. The first day of this class is largely introducing the students to the fact that extra-terrestrials are real and that their tech is way better than Earth’s. They usually take a vote to see which of them the students think is the Akiridion, and usually the winning vote is both of them. Krel doesn’t reveal himself until the end of class so they can get through the syllabus and everything, because otherwise the class would never calm down.

The Akiridion Tech class takes two annual fields trips. One is to Akiridion-5, of course, where they get a special tour and the chance to work in what was Krel’s lab when he lived there. Aja begins looking forward to these trips because, ironically, it's one of her easiest days as Akiridion-5 Ruler. The students are always excited to meet her and the citizens are respectful and peaceful on those days. The other trip is to a planet of their choosing, which is disguised as an assignment where the class as a whole is given a bunch of data and has to determine which planets are habitable and pick one to visit. They almost always go, even if it’s not particularly habitable, just because Krel and Seamus can usually rig up safety suits. They also have a day where they study transduction technology. It’s Krel’s least favourite lesson because the students get to experiment with it on the only Akiridion available, AKA him, and so he ends up looking all sorts of crazy. Yes. Pictures get taken.

One year, after the field trip, one kid doesn’t listen and ends up accidentally bringing a skelteg back to Earth, which of course goes nuts in class. Professor Tarron goes around blasting music until they all explode. When the students find out he made the music, they go nuts. Someone finds all of his demos and shares them in the class group chat. There’s a petition for Professor Tarron’s music to be broadcasted in the dining hall. Krel signed the petition, of course. A few students form a DJ/music club and ask him to be the faculty contact for it, and of course he's thrilled and gets super into it. Really, he and Seamus go to as many of their students’ events as possible.

Some of the more internet savvy students compare them to vines on YouTube and through brief discussion decide that these trips are very Magic School Bus esque. Someone makes the mistake of bringing this up in class and introducing Krel to Magic School Bus, which is something Seamus was very specifically avoiding. All of the classes start having a lot more fun field trips after that, much to Seamus’s frustration and secret amusement. The trips very much cater to and play on the Magic School Bus jokes. One student gets them a pet lizard. It becomes the class pet. Krel takes to it immediately. Seamus gives up.

Krel won’t always focus in lecture, and he has a habit of stopping mid-sentence and leaving the room, at which Seamus just sighs and picks up where Krel left off until the Akiridion comes back with some bizarre piece of tech. He’ll wait for Seamus to finish before explaining the jump in his thought process and how it relates to his tech. Seamus has done it once or twice himself, but he usually finishes talking before adding. They’ll also completely baffle the students by stopping mid-lesson to discuss how, “Wait, didn’t we disprove this once?” or “According to Akiridion science, isn’t this wrong?” or “Well, if we did this instead I bet we could prove this wrong.” No one ever understands what they’re talking about in those instances.

Professor Johnson is the only one to have office hours (and grade stuff, usually), but if you can’t make it, you can probably find Krel somewhere on campus and ask questions. He can always answer, even if it’s about a comment Seamus made on an essay Krel didn’t grade. Half the students are convinced they have some sort of telepathy device because they can pick up each other’s thoughts mid-sentence, sometimes even when they weren’t in the room. Sometimes one of them just moves to go sit down and starts researching something on the computer while the other takes up the rest of the lesson, knowing full well that they'd had the same idea at the same time.

They tell new students the first day to “forget everything you’ve learned in any physics class not taught by one of us.” They, in fact, have a class (PHYS 351 with Lab) called “Physics is a Social Construct”. All their classes always start with a syllabus, but by the second week, Krel (and it’s always Krel) is like, “Alright, so due to unexpected circumstances, and by that I mean Seamus and I disproved three of these theories last night, we’re throwing away the syllabus!” There are days when the students are so stuffed up with questions and confusion as to what their Professors are doing that an entire class will be spent just answering their questions. Some of the students already understand some things thanks to Akiridion Science Fiction and just laugh at the younger students' questions, but then find themselves asking questions too. Questions range from “Why did Professor Tarron vanish for a week?” to “What the hell is that thing on the desk?” to “What about the syllabus?” and finally, the most common one, “But that’s not possible!” PHYS 351’s final project is to break one of the laws of physics. The Tarron-Johnson duo’s motto is that everything is possible.

Krel, surprisingly, is really bad at lab safety, in that he doesn’t do it at all. He’ll get sucked in and forget things. Seamus has to remind them all the time, things like, “Krel, please put your hair up, you’re going to catch it on fire again” or “Krel, please wear goggles, we don’t want a repeat of the junior year fiasco.” If Seamus shows up alone and starts class with, “Let’s go over lab safety”, then you know Krel did something stupid. Some days Krel will have to tell Seamus, “Do not tell them why I’m not there”, and Seamus tells them because it’s usually something really stupid, including the time he fell off a ladder.

Sometimes they bring guest speakers to class. Akiridion Tech gets the best guests, scientists from across the galaxy and usually the Queen of Akiridion-5 at least once, but even other classes get cool Earth scientists and occasionally extra-terrestrials in disguise. Apparently, Professor Tarron is good friends with a high-up military general that runs the mysterious Area 49b, so he usually visits too, and sometimes Akiridion Tech even gets a tour of the military base. Students who don’t get a tour beg for one, and Krel, certified disaster even as an adult, tells them that “it’s not that hard to break into there anyways” and that he knows someone who did it at least twice. Professor Johnson is not pleased to hear about this when he discovers students plotting to break in. General Costas is even less happy, and every semester he drags anywhere from two students to the entire class to Krel and Seamus’s house in the middle of the night after they tried to break into Area 49b. Yes, this fuels the debate about whether they’re married. No, no one is sure. Krel secretly gives them extra credit by claiming it tests their capacity to plan and also, it helps test the security of the base. Neither Costas nor Seamus like this answer.

Seamus pretty much stays in the physics and engineering departments, but Krel actually ends up branching out. He stays involved in theatre, of course, and ends up teaching a class about sci-fi theatre in which he only teaches one play from Earth, if that many, and at least two are from Akiridion-5. The others come from random planets with plays Krel likes.

Krel is also in the habit of just… walking into other classes whenever he feels like it to see what’s happening or if it’s interesting. Students not aware of Professors Tarron and Johnson assume he’s maybe an older student or a grad student or something. He almost always goes to classes that talk about space and sci-fi. The special creative writing class about writing sci-fi is something he has to see, and the professor actually thinks he’s a student who isn’t on the list because of add/drop/swap and Krel, while finding it hilarious, has to explain that, no, he’s from the physics department, he specialises in astroengineering and cool stuff like that.

They also get super into things like holidays and spirit week, and will always go all out for any costumes. They’ll set up holiday-themed projects for extra credit. Students are challenged to relate their Halloween costumes to class (so they get a lot of superheroes) and they usually reserve the unit on holograms for February to allow the students to make hologram Valentine’s cards. They try to be as inclusive as possible, and research different holidays and make sure they know what their students celebrate, especially come winter time when so many holidays come up.

TL;DR: Seamus and Krel are the best professors for so many reasons and nobody knows if they’re married or not. That’s up to you and what you ship.

#3below #toawizards #tales of arcadia #krel tarron #seamus johnson #professor kreamus #kreamus #platonic or romantic your choice #i personally like romantic but can't speak for everyone #listen #they're a mess #and we love them anyway #and this #like wizards fic #has taken over my life #i have doodles #post-canon

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fearlessswiftielaura13 · 5 years

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20 lessons I’ve learned before turning 20

According to my birth certificate, I’m turning 20 this year. Although some of the people I know would argue that I’m still five in my heart and others say I’m mature beyond my years. Who knows how old I really should be? Throughout the two decades, I’ve learned some very important things. These are far from all the things I need to know about life. When it comes to knowing how to do this very complicated task called living, I’m still a child that’s trying to walk and falling all over the place. And that’s okay. You live to learn, and you learn to live.

LESSON ONE: You more than likely won’t ever have everything figured out and it’s okay to not know. It’s okay to ask for help and there are no such things as stupid questions. You don’t need to be a know-it-all by 20, 30, 57, you don’t have to know (or pretend to know) everything even when you’re 80.

LESSON TWO: If you want a relationship…stop looking for a relationship. I know, I know. Sounds condescending. Throughout my teenage years I’ve had 10+ crushes and none of them turned into a relationship. The second I stopped trying, well, you all know what happened. That being said…

LESSON THREE: It is perfectly normal and okay to date or crush around when you’re a teenager. You don’t need to if you don’t want to, and I advise that you don’t deliberately try to, but it’s okay to have a new crush every two months. You are a teenager. Your hormones are complete and utter whack. You do you, boo, nobody can judge you.

LESSON FOUR: Not everyone is going to love you or even like you, no matter what you do. That is okay. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.

LESSON FIVE: It is never, NEVER too late to start doing something. I typed this lesson idea...at a gym. Yup. Finally decided to get my shit together, after 11 years of being as chubby as a teddy bear and only after my hip started screaming at me for not doing anything to keep fit. That brings me to…

LESSON SIX: It does not matter how skinny or chubby or whatever you are. Beauty is superficial. You can paint a new face on in an hour if you don’t like your current one. You can’t paint on a good personality though. Be good, damn it.

LESSON SEVEN: All that being said, don’t ever change anything about yourself because someone else told you to. The only person that has been and will always be with you is you. People change, love fades, friends leave. A troll on the internet told you to lose 10 kilos? You will more than likely never meet them again. Does it still seem relevant? Do it for yourself, not for a „shit, you got hot“. Or, better yet, say it to yourself. Every day. Because you are bomb af and I don’t give a shit what anyone else has to say.

LESSON EIGHT: You CAN love your studies. That’s right. You can love learning. All you have to do is do what YOU want to do. Not what mommy, daddy, granny said. I still get remarks about how I might not be able to do my job to the fullest because I can’t walk very long distances. Guess what, I’m still in university for journalism studies and nobody can’t force me to leave, even if they try. Because I want it. Because I chose to do it.

LESSON NINE: You. Can. Do. ANYTHING. I was never supposed to walk and guess what, look at me now. I couldn’t do math for sh*t, I despised it with all my heart and I still passed my math exam. I thought that I would never see Taylor Swift in real life. I. DID. And there are so many things that maybe I don’t think I could ever do as of right now, that I will do in five, ten, twenty years. Only because I don’t think about them as something I would even attempt yet.

LESSON TEN: What is meant to happen, will happen. Destiny is real. Yeah, we make the choices that we make, so you could say that our destiny is in our own hands, but I personally have encountered a very specific case of choice making that makes sense only in the long run. When you look at the specific choices that this person made separately and the circumstances of it all, it makes little to no sense. But now when I look back, I realize that it was all supposed to happen. Don’t kill your braincells over that failed math test (see, it haunts me, I have nightmares), it will be fine. Relax. Breathe. You’ll come out through the other side, most likely undamaged.

LESSON ELEVEN: Your hobbies matter. Your interests are not stupid. If it makes you happy and it does no harm to other people, do it. I had a dream for 10 years and it came true a year ago ONLY because I stuck with this curly headed blonde with a guitar for the last decade. I happy cried for weeks leading up to and after that one. I found friends for life because of fandoms and I love it. There’s a chance of me working as an entertainment journalist, all because I love concerts so damn much.

LESSON TWELVE: Stand for what you believe in. Always. If we all stop standing up for the minorities and unpopular opinions, many people will suffer. It is our responsibility, as people to stand up for the weaker. You have voice for a reason. Use it, speak on what you care about. The worst that could happen is people disagreeing with you. After all, those that disagree and have their arguments, lead to a discussion and discussions are good and those who just yell for the sake of being loud…do they really matter?

LESSON THIRTEEN: This is a really big one. You live once. So live the only life that you’re given to the fullest and you better have something to tell your grandchildren. I pretty much broke the door of Siemens arena trying to get front row at the Bastille gig when I was 16 years old and I don’t regret it. My idol drove me home from his own concert, ONLY because of a joke that one of my friends that was there spoke with her own mouth. I got to see the reality of one of the biggest star’s in Lithuania job and hear an unreleased track that later became a huge hit only because we went ahead and did something absolutely psychotic. I packed my bags and flew to London two days after my last exam just because there could’ve never been another chance. I grabbed the last ticket to a gig in the ENTIRE STADIUM only because I decided that I want it. Do it. Just make sure it’s legal so you don’t get in actual trouble.

LESSON FOURTEEN: You will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you know who your real friends are. Things and people change over time, you may become distant with someone you never thought you’d become distant with. Yeah, you thought you’d be friends forever, I get it. I know it’s hard to grasp. But honey, life happens and that’s okay. Someone you loved with all of your heart may do you so dirty that you’ll never want to see them again. You have every right to do so.

LESSON FIFTEEN: Your views will change over time. Be it political stance, ethical shift, anything. As long as that change happens based on research, learning and growth, I see it as something that should be encouraged and celebrated. Do your research. Educate yourself. Learn something new every day.

LESSON SIXTEEN: Be interested in politics. Vote. You’ll more than likely will live in a country you’re in at least for the next few years. I say, the future should be important to every citizen of every country. Put your input into saving the planet. If you have kids someday, they will live in the world we create now.

LESSON SEVENTEEN: Resist the urge to fight hate with hate. You will not always agree with people. People will not always agree with you. That doesn’t mean you should fight with someone who is hating on something you believe in. They will learn someday, if they want to learn. The truth is, they most likely don’t, and you trying to school them won’t really change much.

LESSON EIGHTEEN: Dream! Dream huge, dream impossible. Have ambitions larger than life itself. And never, you hear me, never let other people’s opinions knock you down. If you work hard enough, you can achieve anything you want, regardless of what anyone else has to say (refer to lesson number nine). That being said, see you at BBC World in 15 years. Or if I stay here, LRT. We’ll see, I don’t know that much about my future yet. The only thing I know is that nothing can stop me from going hard or going home.

LESSON NINETEEN: You do not have to fit into a mold. You are human, not a piece of clay. You like Disney? Cool! K-pop? Great! You’re a metalhead and you would dress all black in the summer if you had enough of black clothes? Awesome! What if you are all of those things and also a feminist animal right activist who loves pop music and writing? Congratulations, you are just like me. Let’s be friends and leave people confizzled together.

LESSON TWENTY: You are NEVER too old for Disney. That’s it. That’s the lesson. You are never too old for some Disney magic. Here, let me sprinkle some pixie dust on you. Done. You will now have a great day.

P.S. An additional lesson: never, I repeat, NEVER trust @taylorswift. She is always on to something.

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brazilianism · 6 years

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Brazilian Elections - Let’s talk about Fernando Haddad

Alright, so. Elections this year and we’re in a big mess, right? The new plot twist to our ever changing political scenario is Fernando Haddad, who happens to be one of the only politicians I actually like, so i’m gonna use this post to talk about his work so y’all can get to know him better since he’s not that famous outside of São Paulo. First of all, for all of you who have no idea what i’m talking about, let me catch you up: Lula (our ex-president) is still, ya know, in jail. For corruption and stuff. We can debate that more thoroughly in another post. Problem is, he wants to run for president again (he wanted before he was arrested already), and technically by some legal standards he might, cause his sentence hasn’t really been contested in every possible court, which is to say that even though his chances of them being overthrown are VERY small, it could still happen and therefore there’s a legal breach there that could allow him to run for president. And bOY is he popular at it - he was leading all the polls around the country these past few months, he was at the lead with nearly 40% of the votes at the last poll (published on the 21st/august). But there has been a debate for months now on whether he’d appoint someone else as a candidate in his place in case the most likely thing happens and he can’t run... And we kinda got the answer a few weeks ago - he didn’t appoint someone else, but he picked his vice president: Haddad, from his own party. Which is to say, in case he is barred from running, Haddad will likely be taking his place. [in the very surprising scenario where Lula DOES run Haddad would not be vice president anymore cause they have a deal with another party and then Manuela D’avila, another ex-candidate for the presidency gets the job cause she’s now supporting Haddad as kinda vice-vice president but that’s a whole other matter). So let’s talk about Fernando Haddad.

Quick background: Haddad is the son of a Lebanese immigrant and graduated in law school (and is a certified lawyer). He's also got a masters degree in economy and a doctorate in philosophy, all at USP, which is like, one of the best universities in Latin america. He’s also a teacher there in Social Sciences and currently a teacher at another private university. In public office, he has been the Minister for Education for 6 years of Lula’s government and Mayor to Brazil’s biggest city, São Paulo, from 2013 to 2016. I’m not saying you need any of those titles to be any good at the job (I mean, just look at Lula I guess) but we sure have to say Haddad came prepared for the fight talking about ground knowledge.

As the Minister for Education Haddad invested mostly in making the access to universities broader - it was his government that created ProUni (a program that provides government scholarships to poor students in private universities), and re-designed FIES (the financing and credit system for poor students to pay for universities) making it easier for people to pay (less interest rates, more time). During his time we also got 14 new public (free) universities and other kinds of educational centers making the number of available spots go from about 140K to 218K. He was also responsible for reformulating ENEM so that it could start to become a sort of brazilian SAT, now accepted as an entrance test to several universities that all had different tests (and you had to take all of them and pay for all of them if you wanted to apply to multiple places). When he started, Brazil invested about 3,9% of our GDP in education. At the end of his run, we were investing 5,1%. The PISA results showed Brazil among the 3 countries that had evolved the most in education during those years (yeah, we were still pretty low on the rank, but we can’t say it wasn’t working). So education is quite his thing, but that’s not all.

As a Mayor, Haddad had a clear vision for the city that involved making it more livable - his slogan said “more human”. The ideia is based on studies that say once the citizens have a sense of personal relationship with the place they inhabit the whole area starts to become safer (and also better taken care of, obviously). And that seems obvious but São Paulo had some MAJOR problems of livability.

Imma list some of my favorite projects. For starters, Haddad changed the lightning of a big part of the city to LED lamps (they’re way brighter so the sense of safety is enhanced cause no dark alleys and stuff AND they’re more efficient so we also started saving energy) [x]. Then he created bike lanes and more bus corridors to make public transport faster and so that people could actually use BIKES in the damn city without too many risks (the number of people who use bikes here grew over 60% in a couple of years, who could have guessed it [x]). He then reduced the speed limits for several streets and speed lanes. That was MASSIVELY impopular, but he said he didn’t care if people hated him as long as it worked in the long run - and, lol, it did. With all of that he reduced accidents and deaths on traffic in the city by 15% overall and by half in specific areas [x] [x], and most interestingly: São Paulo dropped over fifty fucking places on international traffic ranks (which is over 10 times what ANY other brazilian city varied in the ranks those years so there’s no blaming it on any external factors) [x] . Yeah, Haddad started to solve traffic, which is arguably the thing everyone hates the most in this city. People spending less time in traffic start spending more time at leisure - no matter, he closed important avenues on Sundays so that people could use that space, public space, for fun, and anybody who’s been at Paulista on a Sunday nowadays will have seen how damn awesome that place became. He also regulated and stimulated Carnaval as a street party that is now country-famous (do y’all remember how nearly nobody ever considered spending Carnaval in São Paulo a cool thing before 2012? yeah. and people come to the city now just for that and spend a whole lot of money here cause of it [x]). Then he created our very first fucking city tour program with buses and all (man, biggest city in the country and we didn’t have a city tour bus for tourists, what the fuck). He did the first actual Floods Tackling project that involved actually mapping the floods and acting directly on them with more cleaning of the streets and even smart-monitored sewers and trash cans at some places [x]. He created LGBT support centers and was responsible for putting the São Paulo Pride Parade (one of the biggest in the world) on the official government calendars (and as minister for education he was responsible for trying to implement an anti-homophobia program involving educating and orienting teachers to deal with these situations) [x] . He tackled the drug problem (especially the crack-cocaine problem) downtown by offering support (food, housing, medical and psychological assistance, and actual jobs) to addicts - a lot of people were against “giving money to drug addicts”, but again, it worked, and I have a whole post about this here. He created a program to stimulate recycling food at the big open markets and to ensure that organic food was served in the local schools every week. He helped open several tech centers that allowed for people to take tech and coding courses and use 3D printers and other stuff for free or at low prices [x]. Still want more culture? He created public cinemas at poor areas (that showed all kinds of movies, local ones, international ones, all in theaters as good as the paid kind) and created a whole institution to stimulate film making in São Paulo, SPCINE [x] [x]. Oh, and he started a project to take the names of our previous dictators and torturers off the street names (cause yeah we had that) and replace them with, well, decent people [x].

Not enough to have some cool ass projects? K, we can discuss his economy as mayor. Cause not only Haddad was innovative as fuck as said above, he also made the city’s finances as good as ever - and I mean it, cause he renegotiated our historical debts to the federal government and reviewed several contracts to companies AND created an agency to investigate corruption scandals regaining several millions into our vaults [x] [x], in a way that by the end of his government we had over 40 billion less in debt [x], 2-3 billion in store and had our investment rate (you know the thing that Brazil kept being lowered at? by international agencies? those grades and stuff?] raised. Oh yeah, and he got like 95% of what he promised in his campaign done [x].

And I said all of this so I can exemplify why I like Haddad - it’s not about one or two individual projects, it’s about the way he thinks as a whole. He thinks ahead and he thinks based on actual science - without forgetting a human side of it all. All of his unpopular and polemic measures had positive results - they went miles away from common sense, but it didn’t matter for him cause scientific studies had showed it would work (and it did! what a fucking surprise!). Of couse, that made him the most hated mayor by some people cause all he does is just so weird, right? and he never cared, multiple times he mentioned he didn’t mind being unpopular if it was the right thing for the city. And he was in fact unpopular cause of that (and cause of his party, obviously). He left office leaving contracts signed for about 7 years ahead. He didn’t even have high hopes of being reelected by then, but he left stuff ready to work for the next government (likely an opposition one) anyway. Cause that’s what you do if you’re a decent politician, but it’s so damn rare to see this kind of attitude here. Haddad looked at cold hard facts, saw a city that could use a lot of change in several areas, made a plan and went ahead with it knowing that a lot of people would hate him for it but that in the end it could actively change how we live - and he was right. By the end of it, people did have a different relationship with the city.

Haddad showed me in both his public offices that he doesn’t have the small mind of most our politicians that seem to only be able to think about things that can happen every 4 years, nor only about things that will be popular for the sake of being popular without being right. And that’s just what I want from a politician. Seems so simple, and yet it’s nearly impossible to find. So that’s why he’s a politician i’m not afraid to support.

To close this off i’m gonna leave y’all with links to articles from the Wall Street Journal and The New York Times (portuguese here) and The Wire complimenting his time as mayor too so english readers can get some more opinions AND here an Haddad article (in portuguese) that I like if you want to see more of him (especially his views of Brazilian politics), cause this doesn’t even cover all his interesting projects. Here’s also an interview with him in english, and here here and here some in portuguese for people who want to get a better sense of him and his government plan. Feel free to ask more questions about his projects, I’ll try to get to them when I have time.

#brazil #brazilian #haddad #Lula #fernando haddad #eleições 2018 #eleições brasileiras #politics #brazilian politics #luis inacio lula da silva #brasil #br #sp #educação #são paulo

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adanicole04 · 5 years

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Power to the People: An Ideological Analysis

**this is a paper I wrote in college about the ideology of democracy, and tied to current culture. It’s been a couple years since this was written, but I remember this being one of my favorite projects, and I believe it’s still applicable today. Hope you enjoy! But please don’t steal it ;)

Introduction:

NBC’s Parks and Recreation character Leslie Knope is a passionate bureaucrat who personally renewed my faith in what government is supposed to be by consistently reinforcing what democracy means to her. It may be a little pathetic in retrospect that it actually took a TV show to do so, but in light of everything happening today, it seems pretty understandable. Considering approval ratings of Congress have been at a historic all-time low for several years now, it should come as no surprise that “this more negative attitude toward Congress mirrors other indicators showing that Americans are at or near record lows in their confidence in the executive and judicial branches and the federal government in general” (Connolly, 2016).

The American people are losing (if not already lost) trust in their government, and really, who can blame them? We’ve been lied to, deceived, and had our money stolen from us to be blown on government officials vacation homes while the rest of us have the worries of our basic needs to live constantly hanging over our heads. We are a people in need of reassurance; not of what our government is doing for us (because who knows if we are ever told the truth about that), but what our government was founded on: democracy.

After Donald Trump was elected president, there seemed to be enough interest as to what “Leslie Knope” would say, that an actual letter was written up in her name (by the writers of the show). There is a lengthy story about democracy, the central idea of this paper, of which I will discuss later. For now, I will start with the proclaimed point of that story.

“People are unpredictable, and democracy is insane.”

Critics, like random Quora user Carl Hancock, argue that democracy should be considered a concept, and that the ideology of democracy is limited to the belief of one’s ideal form of government (Hancock, 2013). And even Merriam-Webster defines “democracy” as a form of government (Democracy). Should democracy be restricted to a concept and/or form of government?

Foss (2009) states that “an ideology is a pattern of beliefs that determines a group’s interpretations of some aspect of the world” (p. 209). Our government should be reflected on the beliefs and values our founding fathers had for America: that we are free people. By limiting “democracy” to a form of government, we eliminate the potential belief system that essentially directs our government. Using “Leslie Knope Writes Letter to America Following Donald Trump’s Victory” as my main artifact, quotes from Parks and Recreation (Parks & Rec for short) episodes, and ideological criticism, I argue that democracy is (and should be considered as) an ideology.

Foss (1989) also asserts that the goal of a rhetorical criticism is to introduce an artifact and essay that transforms the lives of the reader (p. 26). My goal for this analysis is to embody the persona of Leslie Knope herself, and inspire American citizens to engage in the idea of democracy. I know too many people who actively avoid anything political, because it’s not only an untrustworthy area, but it’s also confusing due to issues exactly like this essay: what even IS democracy? My contribution is to simplify the rhetorical foundation of what government is supposed to be to provide confidence the people should have about it.

Context and Artifact Analysis:

Parks & Rec first aired sometime in 2009 while interest in politics really sparked after the 2008 Presidential Election. President Obama based his political campaign on “hope”, creating a positive aura around Congress. The creators of Parks & Rec were inspired by this and with the success of the politically charged show The Wire to produce a comedy about an optimistic woman starting her career in politics while highlighting the general failure of local government (Weiner, 2009).

This government-loving optimist named Leslie Knope was born, and she reminded us every week why government is important, and what it stands for. She was always consistent in her views of democracy, women in government, and breakfast foods. All of the characters were impeccably cast, but Amy Poehler brought upon a certain charm and admirable trait to her love of government. Personally, I related politically more with the character Ron Swanson, a firm libertarian. However, I really loved Knope’s idea of democracy, and how often she talked about it.

For instance, when visitors from Venezuela came to Pawnee, Indiana (the fictitious location of the show) to financially help build a park, one of the men tried to trick Knope into taking their money, videotaping the donation, so they could humiliate Americans back in their country. Knope hilariously stood her ground by reinforcing her American values by telling him, “I am gonna build that park myself, and it is gonna be awesome. And it's not gonna have a fountain shaped like Hugo Chavez's head spitting water all over everyone. Unless that's what the people want. And that, sir, is democracy.”

When it came down to the recent election of Donald Trump, it was embarrassingly comforting to have that same reassurance by her. Honestly, there are more than enough quotes from the show itself to discuss, but her letter to America was classic Leslie Knope rhetoric covering a very real issue.

To make her initial point, she almost immediately began with a story. She was in fourth grade, and her teacher conducted a mock election in which two fictitious characters were presented. One character was cool, promised things like extra recess and pizza with a candy bar crust, and the other was “bookish”, and promised to take things slow to be able to evaluate the problems of the school in a careful, intentional manner.

But before they voted, one student (Greg) asked if they could nominate a third candidate. Her teacher replied, ““Sure! The essence of democracy is that everyone—” and Greg cut her off and said “I nominate a T. rex named Dr. Farts who wears sunglasses and plays the saxophone, and his plan is to fart as much as possible and eat all the teachers,” and everyone laughed, and before Mrs. Kolphner could blink, Dr. Farts the T. rex had been elected President of Pawnee Elementary School in a 1984 Reagan-esque landslide, with my one vote for Greenie the Tortoise playing the role of “Minnesota.”

Knope then went on to say, “Winston Churchill once said, “Democracy is the worst form of government, except all those other forms that have been tried.” … The point is: people making their own decisions is, on balance, better than an autocrat making decisions for them. It’s just that sometimes those decisions are bad, or self-defeating, or maddening, and a day where you get dressed up in your best victory pantsuit and spend an ungodly amount of money decorating your house with American flags and custom-made cardboard-cutouts of suffragettes in anticipation of a glass-ceiling-shattering historical milestone ends with you getting (metaphorically) eaten by a giant farting T. rex.”

Even in her self-proclaimed despair, she finds a way to make us laugh. More importantly, Knope reminds us the importance of having our belief system of democracy serve as the foundation to how government operations should run, even if the results don’t sway in the direction we want or intend. Regardless, “democracy only works if people get involved” (Pilot Episode) because “the whole point of democracy is decisions are made by the people, as a group” (Canvassing).

There were also a couple of episodes in Season 6 where her idea of democracy was even further defined. In New Slogan, Leslie inspires the town of Pawnee to vote for a new town slogan. Obviously, she created most of the selections, and she encouraged the people to vote for one of the slogans. Well, matters took a brief turn for the worst when the local radio DJ “the Douche” suggested a write-in option of “The Home of the Stick Up Leslie Knope’s Butt”, and it led the polls. And why was there a write-in option you may wonder? “Because every election has a write-in option. That's how democracy works. I'm not a dictator. If I we're a dictator, I would throw the Douche in prison without a trial” (New Slogan). Once again, even though sometimes it makes her hysterically angry, her ideology of democracy guides practically everything she does, and every decision she makes.

Even when her archenemy Councilman Jeremy Jamm snuck in a meeting to vote on a bill that would take away voting rights to its new citizens (there was a town merger that joined the bordering town of “Eagleton” when their government went bankrupt) right before Knope’s recall election. Councilwoman Knope interrupted the meeting to filibuster it so it couldn’t pass. During the filibuster, she found out that the new citizens supported her actions, but would not be voting in her favor. She had to weigh the options out loud, but ultimately remained true to her beliefs. She could’ve stopped in order to have a better chance in the election, but instead she declared that “the right to vote is fundamental in any democracy, and this is bigger than me or anyone” (Filibuster).

Ideological Criticism:

By using the application of ideology to democracy, we can ensure a level of consistency that is desperately needed (and currently lacking) within political actions. As opposed to the restrictions the literal translation of democracy offers, the ideology behind it ensures that the “actions and their rationale are not isolated but woven into a broader fabric of understanding, anticipation, and value” (Brock, Huglen, Klumpp, & Howell, 2005).

During my analysis of the presented artifacts, it is clear that Leslie Knope has a deeply rooted understanding of democracy that is based on the idea of “the people”; that government cannot properly or fairly operate without the input of its citizens. The element that Knope presents is that we also need people within our governmental systems to uphold those beliefs and values. We need people to encourage group participation.

Although she explicitly speaks to females near the end of her letter, she acknowledges the misogyny protruding from Trump. Because this character is also quite the feminist, it probably would’ve been easier to cover this and other artifacts using a feminism approach. However, I’ve found that her hardcore belief in democracy is the basis of her rhetoric and actions. She encompasses the power within groups by simply using the word “we”; accomplished within this letter, and pretty much everything she does on the show.

“We will acknowledge this result, but we will not accept it. We will overcome it, and we will defeat it. Now find your team, and get to work.”

Democracy isn’t yet another form of government. It should be the idea behind every single decision made and action taken within the system. Political leaders and elected officials should stop and think, “Is this what the people want? AM I 100% SURE?” before signing or approving anything.

Using her anger as a tool, she encourages the beliefs behind democracy to fight the good fight in politics, and overcome this embarrassment that is our current president. When she says, “I work hard and I form ideas and I meet and talk to other people who feel like me, and we sit down and drink hot chocolate (I have plenty) and we plan. We plan like mofos. We figure out how to fight back, and do good in this infuriating world that constantly wants to bend toward the bad. And we will be kind to each other, and supportive of each other’s ideas,” she is literally describing her idea of democracy in classic Leslie Knope fashion. As the elected official in her town, she remains determined to improve lives through the power of the people, and through communication.

Conclusion:

Democracy shouldn’t be placed in a box, and set aside in politics. It should be the automatic default deciding factor for everything that happens in our government. Without the ideology of democracy, we have no real guide for how things are done. The values and beliefs behind it consistently point to the PEOPLE; not one person, not only elected officials. If anything, the elected officials should ONLY be acting in the wishes and demands of their citizens. No politician should have a final say in anything without the approval of the people first. Maybe that’s why our government is as screwed up as it is: because we have put democracy in a box, labeled it as a concept, and threw it in the dark and musty basement that no one ever goes in.

Politicians want us to believe that the notion behind democracy is some liberal tactic to take more of your money, and encourages welfare systems “for the good of the people”. This also discourages others to participate in government because people will blindly accept and trust that elected officials will do the right thing. Well, if there is no foundation of beliefs, morals and/or values, what (besides dirty money) is left to guide them?

Simple answer? Democracy. Myself, and others like Mrs. Knope (aka Parks & Rec writers) firmly believe that democracy is a set of beliefs grounding all political actions to be decided upon by the people. It is also the mutual understanding of myself and others like me that this can only be done through communication. Any politician has the “power” to draft a bill, and receive approval within the system, without ever reaching awareness of his or her citizens. In a fair and just democracy, that can no longer happen. Americans need to understand the true power of the people, and reconstruct our government to do the same. We are in desperate need of a government that works for us, not over us. We can only make this happen through the ideology of democracy.

#america #american #democracy #ideology #fourth of july #independence day #true democracy #parks and rec #leslie knope

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gspikes18-blog · 6 years

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Superior Athletes

Gavin Spikes

English 1010

Dr. Robertson

13 Nov 2018

Superior Athletes

A superior athlete is one who has phenomenal physical traits (strength, agility, and endurance) and is thus more suited for physical competition. The amazing thing about sports is there is always a person that stands out to the entire crowd. There has always been that person who is just amazing at the sport he plays. The guy that every child aspires to be. There have been a few in history, but one that just grapples with the public’s attention is Todd Gurley.

It is August 3, 1994 the weather is surprisingly cool in Tarboro, North Carolina, and the forecast is calling for sun - in other words the weather is just right. The Gods blessed this miniscule town with a child that will rewrite history for the University of Georgia. The child’s name is Todd Gurley the 2nd. From a young age everyone knew he would be damn good at football, but no one expected him to excel as much as he did. In high school he blew everyone out of the water leading his team to the state championship his sophomore year. Then with a quick turnaround, he came back and led his team to the state championship two years in a row, this time succeeding and bringing home the trophy. Rushing for 2,600 yards and 38 touchdowns his senior year the young Todd was blessing his school with talent. He committed to play for the University of Georgia his senior year, and quickly rose to fame as a bulldog

“Gurley headed down the sideline straight for the endzone!! TOUCHDOWN BULLDOGS!!!”. That immaculate phrase resonated in each fan’s ears every Saturday the Bulldogs played at home in the historic Sanford Stadium. Todd had perseverance and the drive necessary to carry the team. Both of those traits are found in superior athletes and leaders. He had the drive to press forward and pick up his team after a tough loss in 2012 to the eventual National Champions. The Bulldogs lost in the final seconds by 1 point. Two seasons later, in 2014, Todd Gurley gets suspended for signed and selling autographed items. His suspension was lifted and during his first game back, he tore his ACL. Todd missed the rest of the season.

Following Gurley being drafted by the Los Angeles Rams, he continually set milestones. One of his most exciting feats was being named Offensive Rookie of The Year. He was named All-Pro and selected for the Pro Bowl as well. During Gurley’s Collegiate career, he was the second freshman ever to rush for 1,000 yards, the first being Hershel Walker. Gurley led his team to SEC championships and was 3rd in the Heisman trophy voting. He has really progressed. This is where all his determination has come in handy. He knows what he wants, and all of his arduous work and perseverance has aided in his success . He knew the key to success, therefore he strived to accomplish his dreams. He knew he had to make it in the NFL and perform every week to help his family progress. He finally fulfilled his dream to be a superstar in the NFL limelight. Now that he has done it he continues to progress and do well week in and week out. His performance statistics are untouchable. Although he is a superior athlete, he is an exceptional citizen.

He works very intricately with charity events. Working closely with charities such as Shriners Hospital. Charity is a necessary attribute because it displays true love to your neighbor. It separates many people and allows people to see who a person really is. Todd has such an impact that a fantasy football player won 10 thousand dollars, and the person donated all of it to charity. Now that is a guy that is selfless, who encourages giving and love. It is amazing to see how much of an impact a person can have on the community. Some people have a negative impact, but it is always so awesome to see a person with a positive impact.

It takes a lot to be a successful person, but there are a few qualities like perseverance, hard work, determination, and charity that make you a leader and great person. There are very few athletes that possess these traits, and if they do, they seldom access them. Todd Gurley not only possess each of these traits; he utilizes them to elevate his game and also his community. One of the most important things about being a nationally recognized athlete is uplifting your community and bringing smiles to the people around you. Todd Gurley performs on the field and in the community. That is what makes him a superior athlete.

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notfunnyislike · 6 years

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But you know what could've been awesome in the MCU?

Darcy Lewis, delegate for the Board of Metahuman Affairs.

(Or maybe International Metahuman Affairs...Board of International Metahuman Affairs? Or, knowing comics, something like that but way more complicated so it makes a cool-sounding acronym like S.H.I.E.L.D. Anyway, I digress.)

We learn in the first Thor movie that Darcy is a political science major, and it doesn't take long in-universe for things to become very, very political --- and by the time Age of Ultron or Civil War comes around, it would probably be reasonable to say that Darcy has graduated with her political science degree, or is getting close to it, and would, in theory:

have made connections, through that and also through her work with Jane and Selvig and Thor’s enthusiastic support

use those connections to both pull strings and lend legitimacy to her arguments in support of the Avengers and people like them

be able to combine that with her social media know-how and general dry charm to gain even more support from regular voting citizens all across the board --- in the courtroom, on the debate stage, in the interview chair, and yes, also on her public twitter feed

subsequently work to undermine and outright counteract Hydra’s nefarious efforts to de-legitimize and oust the likes of the Avengers and anyone else they deem a threat to their goal of taking over the world Pinky, all without having to throw one single punch.

The potential is all there. The problem is that the MCU sidelines her so heavily she’s barely even her own character. I can hardly remember ANYTHING she did in Thor: The Dark World aside from poke Jane into action and snag a boyfriend, and neither she nor Jane have been seen since then.

And I know a lot of comic fans are here FOR the punching, not for the politics, but like, come on? Previously 2D sidekick character gets badass comeback? Can you IMAGINE her talking politics with T’Challa? Sharing looks with Natasha during a court hearing? Debating a senator or representative who lowkey works for Hydra and peeling back the layers of bullshit with every comeback for everyone to see? Trying to have one (1) political conversation with Steve and Tony? Hell, throw in a conversation between her and Rocket too just for kicks.

Y’all tried to tell us that Darcy Lewis is just a pointless side character. Y’all are FOOLS.

#darcy lewis #thor #mcu #marvel meta #kinda #full disclosure I'm almost certainly not the only one who's thought of this #but in my defense I'm tired and this only just occurred to me #and also I've never read a comic with darcy in it rip #marvel #avengers #(also like. there are just. A LOT of characters in marvel)#(inevitably there are many who're gonna be underdeveloped)#(and with such a full house in the main arc there's really no room for the likes of darcy and jane and that kid from IM3 and such)#(but in a perfect world I'm just sayin it'd be cool)

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 6 years

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Alix Appreciation Week, day 4: Friends

I miss Pharaoh Alix, I had to write at least one prompt about her :’)

(Also here I dumped all these lil fics onto AO3 because my blog is a mess)

Pharaoh Alix, lounging on her throne with her royal sceptre in hand and pet cobra draped over her shoulders, snapped her fingers at her advisor. “Dude. Intel report. I wanna be ready before the meeting with the council.”

He cleared his throat. “First of all, welcome back, Your Majesty. Your citizens have been eagerly awaiting your return from school, as has the elected council. It will be good to have your input when governing again.”

She grinned, wondering if he was telling the truth or just being polite. “Yeah, well now that I’ve had three years of royalty school, hopefully I’ll actually do a good job at it.”

“I am sure you will.” The advisor looked down at the clipboard he had in hand. “Right. First things first, you know how much turmoil the Bourgeois Empire is in right now, having been at school there. No doubt the press will be asking for your official stance on the situation and your opinion of the new empress. Best to think of an answer to give beforehand.”

“Opinion? Yeah, Chloé’s cool, I guess.”

The advisor frowned. “Really? Most of our citizens have a rather low opinion of her. Or rather, they have a low opinion of her empire, which doesn’t seem to be doing so well right now. Though it is improving.”

“The problems are her dad’s fault,” Alix said. “Chloé’s been making reforms and stuff. She was in my class at school, she’s actually kind of okay once you get past how stuck-up she is. We actually made friends.”

“You made friends with a fellow leader? That’s good news, and I suppose your high approval rating here will give citizens an incentive to be more receptive to Empress Chloé too, and perhaps they might actually donate more to provide relief to the Bourgeois Empire…” He cleared his throat again. “Let’s see, what else… Ah yes, the kingdom of Kanté has been grateful for your abolishment of trade restrictions, and their economy is flourishing.”

“Of course.” Alix leaned on the back of her throne, crossing her arms. “Anything for Prince Max.”

“It wasn’t Prince Max who has sent the official thanks, it was his family.”

Alix waved her sceptre. “Actually he also sent me a text to personally thank me himself, since he’s my awesome best friend and everything.”

“Ah yes, your sceptre-phone receives text messages now… Do you really consider him a close friend?”

“Yeah, it’s not a bad thing, is it?”

The advisor shook his head. “No, it isn’t bad for a monarch to have close friends. But you must be careful who these friends are and what they get out of a friendship. I do trust that Prince Max has no ulterior motives, though, as a fellow member of the International Alliance and an advocate of peace and science. So being a close friend and ally of his is a good idea.”

“Obviously.” She hadn’t really thought about it in that much detail before – Max was her friend, what was the big deal about that? But he was right. Not everyone could be trusted to be friends with a pharaoh. Only the best were worthy of such an honour.

“Another thing,” the advisor continued, “is a matter of strengthening the ties between our countries. Top students from Kanté want to collaborate with our own scientists and engineers, and the country is requesting total open borders as proof of our cordial relationship.”

“Open borders are a definite yes. That way I can go visit Max all the time.”

The advisor tried to hide his smile. “You already do…”

“Yeah, but this way it’ll be cheaper, won’t it? And maybe they’ll make more robots if they team up, like Markov!”

“I believe that’s the idea. The decision will be put to a vote during the council meeting, but it is highly likely everyone would be in favour.”

“Nice! Okay, what else?”

He flipped a page over. “We’ve received news that Prince Kim has finally been able to return home, and has completed the journey safely.”

“Oh yeah, I already know that. He sent me a text.”

The advisor blinked a few times. “But… his kingdom doesn’t have portable telephones capable of text messaging… and we haven’t opened up trade with them… he can’t possibly have a phone…”

“I gave him one as a present.”

“Your Majesty, you can’t just go giving phones to random princes!”

Alix stood up and put her hands on her hips, not that it made much difference to her height. “He’s not just any prince, he’s Kim! My friend! And when his coronation happens in a few months then he’s gonna be a king, so there.”

“How many friends did you even make at that school?”

“Like, the entire class, I guess?”

“Hmm…” He looked down at the clipboard in thought. “That does explain a lot.”

“Explain what?”

“Why we suddenly have so many offers from distant kingdoms we’ve never associated with much before,” he said. “Many of your classmates returned home earlier than you did, didn’t they? It seems they have already begun diplomacy. We’ve had requests from Couffaine and Lavillant to establish embassies in our city, Tsurugi and the new Raincomprix Republic have been sending diplomats, and Kurtzberg is asking about housing some of their artwork in our Great Library in Alixandria as a joint cultural exhibit…”

“Yes to all of those,” Alix said. “Juleka, Rose, Sabrina and Nath are my friends too, and so is Kagami, though she’s actually homeschooled, I just met her in Nubia last year at that thing.”

The advisor looked rather stunned.

“What?”

“My apologies, it’s just… I’ve been working in this palace so long, and I’ve studied the history of our nation, the history of the politics of our world, and I’ve never seen anything like this. Young upcoming leaders all with close enough bonds to trust each other, despite the global tensions that have driven everyone apart in the past several decades. It’s incredible.”

She finger-gunned at him. “You mean incredible in a good way, right?”

“Yes, certainly. This level of support and friendship between countries has not been seen since, well, since Pharaoh Rania founded the International Alliance and ushered in a never-before-seen era of prosperity over 200 years ago!”

Alix flicked open the top of the sceptre, looking at the little hologram of Rania that popped up. “Really? So you think we’ll have another era of prosperity then?”

“I sincerely hope so. Oh, and that’s not all. Queen Marlena of Césaire has put in an application for her country to join the International Alliance, and the vote will of course take place later this summer. While I know that Princess Alya was a member of your class and you would want to vote to accept the application, her status as spymaster does make one wonder if her true reasons for wanting to join are to gain more intelligence, rather than promoting peace…”

“I know that too. The snake told me.”

The advisor almost dropped his clipboard. “I’m sorry – I – what?!”

“The snake.” Alix gave her cobra a stroke. “He can speak in Morse code, ‘cause he’s super smart and I taught him. He told me about Alya wanting to join the International Alliance.”

“Uh… if you say so…”

“And anyway,” Alix continued, “I’d definitely vote yes. She and that spy network have saved a lot of lives these past three years.”

The advisor shook his head in disbelief. “What’s even been going on at that school?”

“Lots. There was all that stuff with the Agreste Empire, so…”

“Ah yes, speaking of which, that’s another thing on the list.” He cleared his throat and tried to regain composure. “The new Emperor Adrien is a wildcard, and no one quite knows what to think of him. We could send spies of course, just to see what’s going on at his court, but as you knew him at school, your input would be valuable here too. What kind of ruler will he be?”

“A good one, don’t worry,” she replied. “He’s not gonna go causing wars or taking people’s land like his dad did. Not on purpose anyway.”

“It does seem that way so far. He’s already called off the invasion of Lê Chiến, and has made sure to let his subjects know he is nothing like his father. That does make him incredibly unpopular at his court, though. They think him a weak ruler. It doesn’t help that there have been smallpox outbreaks in his empire and he’s had to deal with those on top of everything else.”

Alix winced. “Smallpox still exists there? Yikes. We should send vaccines or something, right?”

“That would be a good idea, but would also signal to the world that we are ready to open up diplomacy with the Agreste Empire – previously everyone’s enemy. If you are certain that Emperor Adrien will be a good ruler, then it would be a good choice. But can we trust him to not only be a merciful ruler, but to keep his grip on the throne when many of his underlings wish to overthrow him and replace him with someone more keen on expanding the empire?”

“Yes. I trust him.”

“Are you sure?”

She tightened her grip on the sceptre. “Everyone’s sacrificed a lot for that kid, and he’s been through hell and back and is still kicking. He can do it. And anyway, he’s my friend. I have to support him.”

“Right. In that case at the meeting we can discuss exactly what sort of aid and espionage we can organize. The rest of the International Alliance might take some convincing if they’re to join our side on this, though.”

“That’s fine. Max and Nino already support Adrien too, I bet.”

“Speaking of Prince Nino,” the advisor said, smiling now, “we’ve had a request from him too. It seems he’s an amateur filmmaker, and would like to access our special effect technology in order to–”

“Request granted,” Alix said.

“Very well. It’s not an important enough topic to discuss at the meeting anyway, so I’ll let him know your reply.”

Alix had already been typing away at the little keys on her sceptre. “No need, I’m texting him right now.”

“I… alright then. How many of your classmates – well, your friends – have portable phones anyway?”

“Me, Max, Kim, Nino, Alya, maybe some others but I’m not sure…”

The advisor flipped over another page. “Anyway, there are a few more things pertaining to your friends. Princess Mylène and Grand Duke Ivan are engaged. They have sent a rather interesting request, stating that although it will be many years before the wedding takes place, if it is not called off by that time for whatever reasons, they would like you to be the official flower girl.”

Alix pulled a handful of flower petals out of her pocket and tossed them at him, smirking. “Good.”

“Do you really think someone of your status should…”

“Yes.” She chucked another handful at him.

“Fine, fine. I will let them know of your answer. That is, unless you already have some means of communicating with them, considering that you already seem in the loop when it comes to news about your friends, without me having to inform you.”

“Nah, they don’t have phones, you can send a letter or telegram or whatever.”

“I shall. Now, there is one last matter I should mention, as it’s almost time for the meeting to begin, and everything else can be discussed there. The rail lines in Asia are being repaired as we speak and should make journeys across the continent much quicker, despite their lack of air travel as of yet. This means that it’s possible you may be able to attend Prince Kim’s coronation.”

“Yes!” Alix pumped a fist in the air. “Me and Max are going to that, and no one’s gonna stop us.”

“No one would dare,” the advisor muttered, glancing warily at the snake. “But yes, considering that his kingdom is a new member of the International Alliance, in order to cement his status it would be good for some other members to attend, such as yourself and Prince Max. Now, Cheng would be very close by from there, and Princess Marinette has issued an invitation for you to visit. Something about taking part in a tennis tournament.”

“Makes sense. Me and Marinette are tennis bros, we’re the best team ever.”

“I didn’t realize other young royalty were just as sporty as you are,” the advisor said, smiling. “But yes, it would certainly be a good idea to visit Cheng and foster good relations. If that involves playing tennis with Princess Marinette, then so be it. Just… please don’t get too competitive. We don’t want a war.”

“I wouldn’t cause a war over a tennis game–” Alix began, but quickly stopped when the memories of getting into brawls during lacrosse matches or trying to beat up Kim during a game of Monopoly came to mind. Yeah, maybe that was good advice after all.

“I believe that’s all the news I currently have that pertains to your classmates,” the advisor said, putting the clipboard down. “The rest can be discussed during the meeting. Now that school is over and you’ll be here permanently, it would be good for you to get into the habit of being more involved in decision-making.”

Alix nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“My pleasure. And if I may say so, I think I have a lot of faith in the new generation of rulers. You and your friends. You all seem to have peace on the mind, and after so many years of invasions and wars and frozen conflicts, that’s exactly what the world needs.”

“I guess that’s the power of friendship, huh?”

“You’ve done well for yourself. When you were a much younger child I’ll admit I thought you were somewhat… um… chaotic. But you have reached a balance, and for that, we’re all glad.”

There was a knock on the door, and Jalil popped his head around. “Alix, you’re needed in the council meeting now.”

She jumped down off the raised throne platform. “Cool, let’s go.”

Jalil left the room again, and Alix and the advisor followed towards the meeting room. In a way, this was going to be the first true council meeting Alix had taken part in – the first time her opinions and decisions would actually count for something, making a difference to her country, and by extension, the entire world. Until recently, the future of that world had seemed very grim indeed. But now? The upcoming leaders were all friends and allies with each other, dedicated to making a new era of peace and growth.

Friendship really could save the day, couldn’t it?

#alix appreciation week #miraculous ladybug #alix kubdel #royalty au #random stuff #aish writes #'alixandria' is the best and most important pun i have ever come up with #we are miraculous

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