#like. does this have a plot in the sense of it being plot oriented? not exactly

[bestangelofall]

Not porn without plot, nor porn with plot, but a secret third thing...

Porn with character study

[violenteconomics]

twst first-years, except they’re third-years now and they have to deal with their own meddlesome (yet loveable) freshmen.

no orientation at night raven college has ever gone smoothly. and this year, housewarden ace and vice housewarden deuce watch as one of the incoming first-years use his signature spell — which takes the form of a whip of all things — to paralyze a couple of students who were talking too loudly for his tastes. after he gets sorted into heartslabyul, he becomes obsessed with efficiency, whipping anybody who doesn’t get things done fast enough, which in turns scares the other students into working ever faster. while heartslabyul has never looked better or been so productive, it does scare ace and deuce. just a little.

(when deuce gets insulted by another third-year, who calls him “too stupid to be vice housewarden”, the third-year immediately gets struck down by a familiar whip.)

at first, jack thanks his lucky stars that one of his new freshmen is almost deathly quiet and polite — except neither of those things necessarily equal good behavior, because one day he finds a huge fight ring happening in the lounge. luckily, jack steps in before the freshman can throw a bloody fist square at his opponent’s face, who’s already cowering in fear with his tail tucked between his legs. and unluckily, no matter what jack tries, this doesn’t turn out to be an isolated incident.

(when the first-year overhears of a plot from another heartslabyul freshman to cause jack’s broom to spin out of control at the interdorm spelldrive contest as a funny “prank”, they both wind up in the infirmary for several broken bones and severe burns to their skin.)

epel’s freshman is an entitled bitch — literally and figuratively. rarely do beastmen ever get sorted into pomefiore, but if it had to be anything, he supposes it only makes sense that it’s a poodle. one whose morning makeup routine takes hours, struts around like he owns the place, howls loudly at anybody who touches anything he thinks is “his”, and barks wildly when he needs something, like he expects someone to tend to his every whim.

(right after epel’s told that one too many bad business deals has led to his family farm being in danger of going bankrupt, he sits in the lounge with a blank look in his eyes. when the first-year finds him, no words are exchanged — the first-year simply curls up on his lap like a housepet and wraps his arms around him.)

ortho quite likes his first-year, actually! he’s nice and sweet and loves to talk to him about the various kinds of inventions he’s making. and he actually likes to go outside every now and then, which is always a bonus when it comes to ignihyde students. his only real issue with him is that he stays up incredibly late into the night, watching the same video on loop about the jupiter corporation’s infamous teleportation experiment, which ended with their test pilot getting stuck inside and likely dying, with an angered look on his face.

(one day, he quietly asks ortho how he would feel about him if he knew that he did something awful. the first-year says that he wouldn’t like it if he did something that ortho would hate him for. ortho pats him on the head with a smile and says that he could never hate him — which, oddly enough, only seems to make him feel worse.)

while a good majority of sebek’s freshmen look upon him with equal parts awe and fear, there is one that is entirely undisciplined! he uses his signature spell to fly around mindlessly and play childish pranks, like taking sebek’s housewarden hat hostage. he laughs impishly as sebek tries to take his hat back, and he laughs even harder when sebek tries to lecture him on the honor and responsibility of being in diasomnia. he never takes his classes seriously, and with the way he acts, you would think he considers being at night raven college more of a burden than a blessing.

(when his first-year gets beaten by some second-years, sebek staunchly defends him against professor crewel when he tries to give the first-year detention. when they get back to the dorm, his first-year tearfully calls sebek the only upperclassman he trusts.)

yuu sees a first-year burst out of their coffin, looking confused and discombobulated. she looks entirely befuddled when headmage crowley guides them towards the dark mirror. she looks scared when the mirror starts talking and declares she has no magic within her, and therefore, belongs to no dorm at all. yuu watches her face crumble with despair as the mirror says it can’t bring her home. it is then that yuu can’t help but step out of the crowd, grab her by the hand, and gently draw her into a hug.

(yuu sees her later, smiling with a mismatch of freshmen from other dorms — a stark contrast from the crying, weeping mess she was only a few weeks ago — and can't help but feel like a part of them has healed.)

their freshmen are often rude, egotistical, irresponsible, wholly troublesome, or some unholy combination of all four. but by the end of the first month, they all knew they would die for them.

(by the end of the first month, deuce will overblot, and the cycle will begin anew.)

[for-a-longlongtime]

You Can't Chase Away The Queers & Gays & They's

aka: have your little delulu fantasies but don't you dare be a homophobic/queerphobic cunt about it.

I'm so fucking serious right now.

A certain amount of people are being absolutely psychotically ridiculous right now over that Pedro poem published in the project by Mustafa (the poem isn't new, he had this on his blog in the early 2010s, btw). Within hours, people are yelling in public comments tHiS pROveS hE iS iNTo pUsSY + hEArTbRoKEn ovEr a wOmAN, PLUS sending anons to me and other queers saying 'this poem proves he's not gay!', 'stop writing f***** shit about him now!', further speculating, wanting receipts whether he ever talked about specific genders, etc.

You're losing the plot. STOP IT.

I'm not even gonna go into how appalled Pedro would be to know there's literally a Straight Crusade group that has been scouting socials since forever just to post fake stories. No, my concern is about all the queers, gays, and they's (the LGBTQIAS2+ community) among us fans -- especially the young ones, who are seeing all that anti-queerness and homophobia happening. It's 2025 and in so many countries queer rights are under attack, queer youths are suicidal at much higher rates than straight kids, and it still happens every fucking day that queers coming out means they're losing family, friends, jobs, housing, custody of kids, etcetc.

Let me clarify: I don't give a shit about Pedro's sexuality or who he sleeps with/dates. I’m not the person you’re gonna want to ask about any of that. Do I as a queer feel (and a lot of others with me) like he's been doing plenty of queer signalling through the years? Yeah, but that doesn't mean it's gospel/fact, and I'm sure as hell not trying to prove it or convince other people.

What IS a fuckin' problem though is when people and blogs are whipping up other fans into a literal frenzy, making them think that they need to 'defend' P or prove he's not gay. Sure, disect the poem and whatever else, knock yourself out, but do not send other people - especially not queers - plain ass hate about it, just because you want to impose your POV on them. Because you are harming people by making them feel like it's not okay to be queer/gay, and you're using Pedro as a means to do so. That's fucked up.

I'm not here to police anyone, but I'm telling y'all to have some common sense if this is something that you have either inadvertently or deliberately been doing. This is exactly why there are so few gay and queer male fans active in this fandom, because they see how much negativity there is at and how obsessive the compulsory heterosexuality is in some corners of the fandom. This is exactly why queer and trans folks feel unsafe to reach out and get to know other fans. This is why a lot of writers (queer and straight) often feel reluctant to write mlm/gay fanfic (be it P Boy x male reader/male OC, or P Boy x P Boy, or P Boy x canon character). This is why new queer/gay fans feel hesitant to put out work with queer representation, because they're afraid of negative comments or anons. And that SUCKS, because they want to tell their stories as much as other writers do, but it's damn hard when you look at the queer/homophobia that has been on the rise in this fandom as well as in society.

Is your ability to like his work, to like him as an actor, or even just as a person who does a lot of good stuff for marginalized communities, actually DEPENDENT on his (perceived) sexual orientation? On who he sleeps with or dates/has dated? To the point that you feel like you need to 'defend' him or prove things to other people? Because, first of all, in case nobody told you and it didn't occur to ya: he's not gonna fuck YOU. Second of all: wow. Get it together.

Finally, I can't believe I need to make this point, but: just because you don't like queers, doesn't mean they're gonna go away. Why are you reading my blog or Erin's or anyone else's tumblr that's clearly about queer stuff (we actually do indicate that already in our bio/pinned posts, you know) if you don't like it? WHY are you reading gay fanfic (which is about Pedro characters, not even RPF/Real Person Fiction, and YES - that is a very big difference) if it makes you angry? Most of all, why do you feel like it's okay to act like a fuckin asshole?

Stop reading things you don't like. Block people you don't like. Dislike stuff all you want, but just don't be a homophobic piece of shit about it.

Also, go read Erin's post right here.

[omagpies]

Recently saw your roleswap AU and I’m loving it! I have a few things I’m curious about:

1. So by my understanding Anya failed her flight certification 8 times and PE was cheap enough to be fine with that? Did she never pass? Makes sense, I’m just kinda clarifying lol

2. Does nurse!Curly also feel like he wants to try something different in his career like in canon? Did he also not have enough savings after PE went under? Did he go to nursing school or did he also fail his entrance exams?

3. What’s Daisuke’s story in this AU? Did his mom push him to go to trade school to become a mechanic? Did he do that on his own and his mom suggested working with PE?

4. It’s so interesting to me that Anya tried E-dating after getting back to earth and seemingly got rejected based on her appearance, poor girl :( but I’m kinda wondering about Curly’s perspective on this, did he have feelings for Anya while she was E-dating and just sucked it up for her?

5. I’m kinda curious about Curly and Anya’s relationship pre-crash, was it a little bit flirty like in canon? Did Anya try to approach Curly with what Jimmy was doing or was the blackmail powerful enough for her not to say a peep to anyone?

haha gonna answer all of these at once! but first here's something on 5 :)

she never passed the Official Legit certification but passed what counts for it in PE (so, certified only to fly PE vessels) and kind of sees it as her last chance to make it as a pilot. still hopes to get properly certified one day, working at PE to make the money for simulator hours and exam fees

curly actually went to a med school on a football scholarship but had to drop out about two or three years in because he started prioritising studies over practice and the money got pulled. used the money he had left to switch tracks and certify as a nurse. joined PE because space travel sounded fun but is pretty bored of it because he doesn't get to do much on a regular haul. he isn't quite as existential in this regard as canon curly because working in a people-oriented nurturing profession actually makes him feel useful, he just wishes he could be more useful ya kno? has enough savings to be able to rent a place and find a job at a hospital, so overall it all kinda works out for him if you don't count all the horrors

i think in this au daisuke's mother actually pushed him to intern as a mechanic a few years earlier than in canon, which is how he met swansea (pilot with engineering background) and got inspired enough to go into trade school. by the time the events of the au begin he is a certified mechanic though not with a lot of experience :"3

curly has had the biggest fattest crush on anya almost the entire time of knowing her (i feel like he kinda spawns in already in love with anya), so her E-dating phase is kinda rough on him (like, Very rough; mans full on wasting away from his heart getting broken in tiny ways a hundred times a day), but he is king of denying himself and putting others first so he does his best to be A Good And Supportive Roommate about it. he even tries to date other people too! but with not nearly as much gusto and it never goes far. he is too whipped

there was definitely Something. i'll expand on it a bit more in a later ask i got about captain anya, but the tldr is that she goes to great pains to Act Professional and curly is never in a million years going to confess anything. and then jimmy's arrival blows it all up and any kind of romance plummets down everyone's lists of priorities. and anya never tells curly anything -- this is her problem to deal with, and with him being jimmy's friend there is a tiny part of her that is afraid of not being believed even though she overall thinks he's a good guy :")

anya writes all kinds of things, but it's all fiction. she dabbles in poetry, but her two main points of focus in prose are a) long meandering stream of consciousness type of pieces that span generations and have very convoluted plots and interpersonal relations (think woolf's waves meets one hundred years of solitude), inspired largely by the time she had to lie there and do little more than drift in and out of delirium and think, and b) shameless smut that starts out as your run of the mill romance and suddenly changes genres halfway through (funny how life can just Change all at once huh). she never really gains a Massive audience but does have a considerable number of dedicated fans of both categories

(more roleswap au)

[aziawow]

now that we're here... (benny weir x f!reader) nsfw, 6.6k words

summary: in the heat of the moment, you and benny sleep together. you don't even kiss. a devilish plot (and teenage awkwardness) keeps you from talking to him about that night. the solution, however, might just be part of the very thing you're avoiding.

warnings: nsfw, loss of virginity, unprotected sex (DO NOT EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX!!! USE A CONDOM EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!), implied reader isn't a virgin, blood, language, devil mention, implied animal abuse, death (of ocs), panic attack. if there are any other warnings please let me know so i can add

notes: no use of y/n, she/her reader, can also double as a rory x platonic!reader bc they're such besties. this fic is so fun pls give it a read!

You’re not entirely sure how it happens. Seriously. Yes, you’re super ultra mega attracted to Benny, but you never expected this to happen, especially as suddenly as it did. 

You’re a planner, extremely detail oriented, and you’re almost never taken by surprise. Impulsivity isn’t you, it’s Benny. So what made you throw caution into the wind and do this? 

You’re not even together; you didn’t even kiss. 

Suffice to say, you’re freaking the fuck out. 

***

You and Benny are chilling together, watching a movie on his bed. It’s rare for you two to be alone, but Ethan had to help his parents with whatever, Rory was doing whatever Rory does, and Sarah and Erica were having fun in town. They invited you, but with the supernatural craziness of the last few days, you just wanted a quiet night in for once. 

Years of familiarity resulted in you and Benny being pretty comfortable with each other, so you were cuddled together, you mostly on top of Benny while you both made fun of the movie and stuffed your faces with popcorn. 

You think it happens because you got thirsty. 

One second you’re reaching across Benny to grab your drink, then another has Benny hissing through his teeth and grabbing you. He held you still, and you glanced up. 

His eyes were squeezed shut, and a peculiar red flush adorned his face. His breathing was quickened, and he was practically shaking. 

Startled by his behavior, you sat up, still half on his lap and completely oblivious. 

“Benny, what’s wrong?” You place the back of your hand on his cheek, thinking he might have a temperature. Hot, but not feverish. You scoot forward a little to reach his forehead, and Benny gasps. 

“Please,” he strains, “stop moving.” 

Your eyebrows knit together. He was making no sense. “What…”

Then, you feel it. 

Your leg was brushing against his very prominent, very hard, erection. 

“Oh,” you gulp.

Benny’s eyes spring open, his mouth starts to move, but he can’t seem to say anything. You know he’d try to shrug this off, tell you it’ll go away, and apologize to lessen the sheer awkwardness of the moment. 

You don’t want him to. 

His lips are parted, panting quietly, face blushing the prettiest red you’ve ever seen, skin sheening with sweat, and his eyes? One part horrified and the other completely and utterly aroused. 

You really don’t want to waste this moment. 

Without thinking, you place a hand on his upper thigh. Firm enough to not get lost in translation but gentle so he could brush you away if he didn’t want this after all.

Your eyes meet, confusion and hope and desperation swimming in his. Slowly, you slide your hand upward, waiting for him to swat you away. 

He doesn’t. 

When you reach his front, you apply pressure and palm him through his pants. 

Benny groans delectably, and his eyes roll to the back of his head. 

You can feel yourself get wet at his reaction, the burn between your legs throbbing as the seconds pass. The fact that one little touch from you elicits a response like this makes your veins rush with power. 

Then, he moans your name. 

You’re done playing. You unzip his jeans and push them down. Benny, who has all but collapsed on his pillows, eagerly helps you slip the rest of it off. 

You climb on him again, fully this time, and take him into your hands. You pump him a few times, having to wet your hands with your spit. He’s shaking under you, making these small pathetic noises that have you grinding on his thigh. 

He’s lasting for a lot longer than you expect a teenage boy to, especially a virgin. 

Benny surprises you yet again by sitting up abruptly, and you let him go. He takes his shirt off, and when it’s discarded somewhere on his messy floor, he presses your foreheads together, mouths breathing into each other but not quite touching. 

His hands play with the hem of your shirt.

“Benny,” you moan, when his fingers disappear under the fabric and press against your hot skin. 

“Can I take this off?” He asks, throat raspy and deep. You nod at him, and your top joins his on the floor before you can blink.

Your hands roam each other’s bodies, just feeling and squeezing. Benny nuzzles your neck and collarbones, pressing kisses and leaving nips here and there. You grip his hair and pull, feeling the whine of pleasure Benny lets out against your skin.

After a few moments of this, you realize Benny is nearly naked, and you still have your pants on. You pull away from him and sit up higher on your knees. When Benny realizes your next course of action, he wastes no time in helping you rid yourself from your pants, and when they’re gone, he grabs a handful of your ass and blinks up at you, wide and ready. 

You reach behind your back and unhook your bra, peeling it off slowly, almost painfully so, for Benny. You toss it aside, and all he can do is stare. 

You reach for his hands and place them on your breasts. When he starts to feel you up and squeeze, you throw your head back and keen at the sensation. 

“Fuck,” you gasp. You look down at Benny, and he’s peering up at you through his dark lashes with nothing but want behind his eyes. Instinctively, you pull his head to your chest, and your pleasure multiplies when Benny immediately starts licking and sucking and kissing you all over. 

Your legs are delightfully weak at this point, so you push Benny back down on the sheets and fall on top of him. You’re still touching each other and it feels like he’s become a second skin. You hardly register his hand going further down until it rests on your lower abdomen, toying with your panty line.

“Can I touch you?” he all but pleads, and who were you to deny him? 

You’re nearly sobbing when he slips his fingers into your folds, feeling the wetness he caused. You can tell he’s trying to finger your clit, so you decide to be a good partner and guide him to its location. You shudder when he finally finds it on his own and begins to rub, the friction nearly too much for you. 

You’re kissing and biting his skin, one hand gripping his sheets and the other skimming along his chest, your nails scratching and digging into him. You grind back on his hand, so he picks up the pace and you know right then you’re about to cum. 

“Benny,” you warn. “Benny, don’t stop.” 

He doesn’t, and you cry into his neck when you orgasm on his fingers. 

You both lay there panting, but you have no time to bask in the afterglow when you remember he hasn’t came yet. 

You get on your hands and knees above Benny, and you lower your face to his, still not touching except your hair brushing his. 

“Do you want me?” you ask. You want him. You want him so bad you don’t know what you’d do if he said no. 

He nods, and your heart flutters. 

“No,” you whisper. “I need to hear you say it.”

He nods again. “Yes. Yes I do. Please,” he begs. He starts to babble his affirmation and continues to do so when you get your underwear and his boxers off. You grip him and slick his head up with your juices, and when you finally sink down, Benny shuts up and you both sigh as you seat him fully inside you. 

You start to rock, fucking yourself with his cock and feeling so, so good. Benny’s hands find your hips and together, you find a pace as you ride him. Your hands are on his chest as you slide up and down on him. He begins to feel you again, your torso, your breasts, shoulders, and hair. You don’t want him to stop exactly, because it makes the pleasure increase tenfold, but you’re in control, and it's so hot when Benny does what you want. 

You grab his wrist and pin them on either side of his head, and the flash of lust in his eyes as you do so makes you smirk. 

You keep holding him down as you pump in and out of him, as you rock against him, but after a while your legs begin to ache. Benny, feeling you slow down, takes the reins. 

You let him go, and he wraps an arm around your body, pulling you down flush against him. The other hand weaves through your hair, angling your head once more into the crook of his neck. Holding you tight, he fucks up into you, and you feel something you never have before. 

For a virgin, he’s a natural at this. Your bodies know what they want and how to get it, the carnal desire guiding you the whole way. You can feel him pulse inside you, and you know you’re both about to cum when his thrusts grow quicker. 

“Benny,” you moan into his ear, and that’s all it takes. His motions get sloppier as he climaxes, but you don’t care because you’re in the middle of coming yourself. 

You’re laying there, trying to catch your breath and clinging together tightly. He’s practically hugging you, and you're running your fingers through his hair. 

You know you can’t stay like this forever, so you pull off of him, both of you wincing as you do so. You want to find your clothes and dash, but your legs wobble and you fall back down on him. 

You expected Benny to crack a joke like he always does, but when you turn around, he has an arm thrown over his eyes. His chest rises and falls quickly, and you wonder if you should risk it and leave after all. 

But then, Benny wraps an arm around you, much gentler this time. “Good night,” he says softly, and he’s out. 

You’re actually grateful Benny doesn’t seem to be aware of aftercare, because you have no idea what to do, and would have even less of an idea if he stayed awake and wanted to talk about what just happened. 

You’re contemplating whether to stay or go, and when you finally decide, your eyes slip shut, and you cuddle into Benny’s warmth. 

The next morning, you have a proper freak out. 

You need to talk to him, you need to not talk to him. You need caffeine and a pregnancy test and a change of clothes. You need an ice pack and a salt bath because holy fuck you’re sore, Jesus Christ Benny. 

You need Sarah and Erica. 

Luck is on your side today, because as you make your way into school, there’s no sign of Benny. You find who you need chatting at Sarah’s locker, and when Erica sees you, she immediately asks what’s wrong. 

“Oh my god, I don’t even know where to start,” you choke. They blink at you and you start to ramble. “I did something so stupid last night, But it also wasn’t stupid except for the parts that were but ohmygod I need to tell you something. It cannot wait and I am freaking out.” You pause to take a breath. “I think my heart is about to give out.” 

“Okay, okay relax,” Sarah calms you down. “We have 20 minutes before first period. What’s up?” 

“Hold that thought, Sarah, I think she needs to sit down.” You nod, so the girls take you to a more private area, which turns out to be an empty classroom, and as soon as you get there you crumple onto the nearest chair.

“So… what's up?” 

You sit up, your whole body jittering with nerves. You wanna tell them so bad but you don't know how. This is a kind of confession that needs a strong lead to get there, but you’re totally blanking. 

“Well?” 

It burst out of you, “Benny and I slept together!” 

Neither girl moved. They stood there, gaping like fish. You knew they believed you, this isn't something you'd lie or joke about. Oh how you wish you were. 

“How?” Erica finally spoke.

You grimace. “Well, it was kind of an accident at first. We were just watching a movie, then we got really horny at the same time, and it just went from there.”

Sarah’s face twisted at your words. “Were you at least safe?” 

You pinched your lips together and avoided their gaze. 

Sarah groaned and Erica exclaimed, “Are you serious? That was so stupid!”

“I told you I did something stupid! I wasn’t really thinking about protection in the heat of the moment and I seriously doubt Benny had a condom laying around.” You stop then. “Oh my god. I took Benny’s virginity.”

At your words, Sarah and Erica looked at each other. “Ewww!”

“You did what?” a voice shouted from the previously closed door. 

Rory. 

Son of a bitch. 

Erica pulled him into the room and slammed the door shut. You’ve never been more thankful for her as she began to threaten Rory within an inch of his undead life. You expected him to wet himself, but Rory’s face was calm, and not the kind of blankness you’re accustomed to seeing on his expression.

He huffed. “No wonder Benny was being so weird this morning. I thought losing your virginity was supposed to change a guy in a good way. His face looked exactly like the time I accidentally dropped him in a dumpster.”

That… did not do anything good for your ego. 

“He hates me,” you pout. 

“I don't know about that,” Rory shrugs. “He asked if I saw you and told me to tell him if I did. Oh, well now that I’ve seen you, I should probably go tell him.” Rory started to walk away, but the three of you shouted after him and dragged him back. 

“Okay, jeez. I don’t get what the big deal is.”

Erica facepalmed and Sarah scoffed. “The big deal is that two close friends slept with each other. That’s not a thing friends do! It’s probably awkward for them!”

You sigh. “Guys, it’s more than awkward. We didn’t even talk about it. I left before he woke up.”

Erica gasps, “You did not.” Sarah and Rory both wince, and again, this did not make you feel better. 

“What was I supposed to say! It happened so suddenly—we didn’t even kiss!” 

The three of them pause and gawk at you. You threw your hands up in surrender. 

“It just didn’t happen. We were kinda focused on other things.” You were pulled back to the memory, his lips and hands everywhere, his whiny little mewls and pants hot and breathy in your ear… 

“Oh my god. She’s thinking about him right now, ewww!” Erica squealed.

“Wait, was Benny actually good?” Sarah asked in disbelief. 

You sigh dreamily, “Let's just say, if he wasn't already a spellcaster, he'd still have magic in his fingers.”

“EWWW!” Three voices cried in unison. Rory gagged and Erica covered her ears. Sarah closed her eyes, her worn expression letting you know she very much regretted asking at all. All three looked rather like a steak to the heart would be a perfect end to this conversation. 

The end, however, came in the form of the warning bell. Before leaving you swore all of them to secrecy, with an emphasis on Rory’s discretion. He gave you a thumbs up and said “You can count on me!” You were not confident in his ability to keep his mouth shut. 

Classes went on, but you were on edge in fourth period, the first class of three you and Benny shared, not including lunch. You got there early, as usual, and Benny came in second before the bell, also as usual. You didn’t dare look up at him when he walked by you, knowing it was him by his clumsy footsteps and the scent of his cologne. He sat behind you, and you felt the weight of his stare on you the entire class period. When the bell finally rang you were first out the door. 

Your whole group usually sits together at lunch, unless the dorks had a mathlete meeting or Erica decided to sit with her boytoy of the week, which happens more often than not. She promised to sit with you and Sarah today just in case a buffer (or a badass vampire) was needed. 

Rory is the first of the boys to sit down and starts yammering about his day. Apparently the stray cat he feeds in the junkyard went missing and it’s been days since he saw it and he’s getting worried. He was in the middle of the “epic” tale of their friendship and why they don’t try to eat each other anymore when Benny sits down. Right in front of you. Where he always does. Very normal, but you can’t ignore the shaking feeling that no, everything is decidedly not normal. 

Unfortunately for all of you, Rory trails off. 

The table is silent for a long, long while.

You want to say something so bad, you hate this awkward tension between the two of you, but you can’t speak. It’s like your voice was stolen by teenage embarrassment. 

You have enough strength of mind to meet Benny’s eyes, only you’re unable to read him. Is he disgusted? Regretful? If so, of what specifically? Is your friendship completely over? He just looks and looks. 

Just as a headache began to form between your eyes, Ethan barrelled into his seat in an anxious flurry. You’ve never been happier to hear the words: “Guys, I think we have a problem.” 

Your focus is 100% on Ethan now, you don’t even notice the pinch of Benny’s brows at his best friend's words, or the way his fingers twitch for his spellbook, or the way he licks his lips like he always does when he concentrates. 

It’s Benny, of course you can’t help but notice. 

Except, something Ethan just said actually pulled your focus. “Wait, you said you saw strange markings in your vision. Was there anything concrete? It sounds like whoever drew them and left the animal hearts and talismans were attempting a ritual.”

Ethan nods. “There were pentagrams all over my vision, and there was a flash of goat hooves and a clock.”

“A clock?” Benny asks. 

“Yes,” he confirms. “The hands were set to midnight.” 

“The witching hour,” you and Benny speak in unison. You snuck a peek at him, almost startling when you see he did the same. You dart your eyes away, and a sinking feeling hits you as you realize what Ethan’s vision most likely meant.

“Rory,“ you start slowly, “what color is your junkyard cat?”

Your friends tense as you say this, also connecting the dots. Rory, bless him, remains oblivious. 

“He has black fur! That's why I named him Shadow Ninja! I hope the little guy is okay…” Rory digs into his sandwich, and you don’t know if he’s being willfully ignorant to spare his own feelings, or if he genuinely knows nothing about superstitions. The group glances at each other, all silently agreeing to keep Rory in the dark. 

“We need to find out who’s behind these rituals. It’s one thing if they’re idiotic humans, but another if they’re witches,” Sarah comments. 

“What do they even want?” Erica asks. “What are the rituals for?”

“Well, if Ethan’s visions and the ritual’s remnants are anything to go by,” you muse darkly, “I’d guess they’re trying to summon the Devil.”

Benny hums. “Making a deal with the Devil is not good, Grandma says that all time. We need to find out for sure where the rituals took place.”

He begins to flip through his spellbook when Ethan asks why the location matters. 

Then, it hits you. “Ley lines.”

“Exactly,” Benny confirms, but he doesn’t look at you. “If they’re doing the rituals on the ley line, it’ll be easier to find out where they’ll go next.”

Sarah puts a hand on your arm. “Hold on, what are ley lines?”

“They’re invisible, mystical energy lines that run underneath the earth. They connect various historical sites, prominent landmarks, and sacred spaces to conduct the energy. They’re said to amplify the supernatural, so it makes sense if there’s one running through Whitechapel.”

“There is,” Benny says. He flips the book around and shows everyone the page he found. It details the line running through your province of Canada, but there isn’t anything you recognize. The map isn’t updated for the 21st Century, apparently. 

You make plans after school to go ley line hunting, deciding to split into three pairs to cover more ground, one vampire and one human in each. Out of everyone, you have the most success at keeping Rory on task, so you’re partnered with him. His protective side comes out most often with you, being the only fully fledged human of the group, no vamp, seer, or spellcaster powers in sight. 

You can fend for yourself of course, though you find fighting magic with magic more often than not solves the problem. It’s no bother to you when you have brains. You help Ethan make the plans and connect the dots, you don’t need to execute them. 

Admittedly, the idea of summoning the Devil scares the shit out of you, it also helps take your mind off of the Benny issue you’re facing. 

You and Rory have been searching for an hour and a half (with you only needing to pull Rory back on task three times) when you realize the section of the map took you to a familiar house in the rich part of town. 

“Rory,” you get his attention. “Isn’t this Jesse’s mansion?” He, briefly serving time in Jesse’s cult, frequented this house more often than that one time you paid an unwanted visit, would know for sure. 

“Oh hey. Yeah, it is.”

The mansion looks different than the last time you saw it. After Jesse’s imprisonment in the cubile animus, the place remained abandoned; and no one, not even the HOA, dared to mess with what he left behind. 

The lawn was overgrown, leaves and vines creeping up and curling around the corners and windows. The siding was darkened with dirt and grime, and some of the shillings had fallen off, leaving a gaping spot where it once lay. 

“Does the magic line go through the house?” Rory questions.

According to the map, it did, but you had a feeling it wasn’t this easy. 

“We need to get in and check it out. Something doesn’t feel right.” 

Rory walks up to the gate and pushes it open, the hinges squeaking and built up rust grinding as it opens. The two of you approach the former vampire den cautiously, the brick driveway filled with green in its cracks and all kinds of foliage strewn over the walkway left by wind and storms. 

Once inside the house, you shudder. It might've been abandoned, but the air felt dark and tainted still. 

“Hey,” Rory called from where he ventured further in, “I’m not sure this place is as abandoned as we think.” 

He’s right. In the corner of the living room, messy sleeping bags and junk food wrappers littered the entire space. There were school bags tossed haphazardly on a table, and books on every available space possible. 

You made your way to the kitchen area, where there was more discarded food, spilled liquid, and even more books. On the dining table, dried blood, a variety of talismans, melted candles, and ashes lay within a pentagram.

You made your way to the island, which was clear of everything except one book in the center.

Rory came up next to you and pointed. “I know this book. It has Jesse’s prophecy in it.”

You skimmed the book, and Rory stopped you on the page about the prophecy. You scanned the page, and when you saw a familiar line, you read it aloud: “The dead take root, the barren orchard bears the devil's fruit.’” You pause. “Rory, check the map. I think the ley line runs under Ethan’s house, specifically the tree in his backyard. They tried the ritual here, and it didn’t work. The other failed rituals happened at the church, the cemetery, and the stump of Whitechapel’s oldest tree. If they found this book, it won’t take them long to figure out their next spot, and I think it might actually work this time around. I mean, symbolically, it seems like the place to catch the Devil's attention.”

Rory’s eyes widened. “Woah. This is getting kinda scary.”

“I agree, we should get out of here before they get back.”

You start toward the door, but Rory stops you. His face twists regretfully as he responds, “Too late. I can hear them outside.”

His words make your blood run cold, and you hear the creak of the front door opening. 

As quickly and quietly as you can, you and Rory squeeze inside the empty walk-in pantry. You’re easing the door shut as the kitchen door slams open. 

“I’m telling you, that geek is onto us. He’s a seer, right? I bumped into him before lunch and I swear he saw something,” a husky, feminine voice said. Through the panes on the door, you can make out a silhouette of her, but nothing too clear. 

A hand slaps the counter. “Why does it matter?” Deep, male, and insanely grating. You can see his hulking frame lean on the island. “He might be shacking up with vampires, but they’re not invincible. They can’t stop us no matter what they know.”

Behind you, Rory murmurs, “I know them from somewhere.”

The first one sighs, apparently not hearing a peep even from a few feet away. “I guess, but his friends are vampires. The small one, Sarah, babysits him on Friday’s right?”

“Yup. But, with some garlic and a sharp wooden steak, it shouldn’t be too hard to negotiate for that virgin’s blood. And he doesn’t even need to die!”

“That we know of. The instructions say the blood of a virgin, who’s to say that doesn’t mean the life of one? The 17th century assholes who wrote it down weren’t very specific with the recipe.”

“And the awful fucking poetry. I could’ve done without that,” the guy scoffs. 

“Whatever,” the girl snaps. “We will do it tomorrow night after his parents leave. We get what we want and hey, maybe once the Devil himself turns us into vampires, we’ll kill the virgin anyway. I hear they taste the best.”

The two cackle, and their voices dim as they clomp away. 

You and Rory tip toe out of the pantry, keeping an eye on the door as you walk. The thing is, you’re not completely aware of your surroundings. In a stroke of bad luck, you trip on a stack of books, and they clutter noisily to the ground. 

You meet Rory’s eyes, horrified. 

“Who’s there?” the guy shouts. You hear the stomp of their boots getting closer, and Rory tugs you away to the other door and up the stairs. You follow him like you’re on autopilot, everything you heard and what’s happened catching up to you at the wrong time. 

You’re being pulled up another set of stairs and Rory kicks the bedroom door open. 

“This one has a balcony. Gord pushed me off it when I was learning how to fly.”

“What a dick,” you mutter and suddenly you’re gasping in the cool outside air. 

Rory grabs onto you right as the door flies open, the two satanists rushing forward. Not a second too soon, Rory takes off. 

A few minutes and half a heart attack later, you land on the designated meeting point, which was, of course, Ethan’s front porch. Everyone was there already, and you felt comfortable enough to have a panic attack. 

You’re still gasping and your legs give out on you. You’re caught by familiar arms, and Benny lowers you down to the porch chair.

“We—we found—the book. The lines—the tree, it just. They’re going to attack you! Take your, your blood. They wanna turn. They need him to turn.”

You’re not making a lick of sense to anyone, and Sarah starts to rub your back. 

“Breathe,” she says softly. She doesn't have the compulsion ability mastered, but you want to listen to her, so you do. 

“You found something? What happened?” Ethan asks. 

“Dude,” Benny chastises. “Maybe wait til she stops freaking out? Rory, what’s going on?”

Rory explains your findings as best he can, and you use the lilt of his voice to calm down. “The guy and the girl look so familiar. I can’t place it, though.”

With a huff, Erica reminds him, “They go to our school, genius, obviously they’ll be familiar.”

Rory starts to protest, “Yeah but, that’s not where I recognize them from.”

“Vampires,” you finally say. Everyone stops and stares at you. “The deal they want to make with the Devil is to become vampires. Why would they go to all this trouble when this town is crawling with them? I think it’s because they literally can’t. Vampires won’t turn them.” You twist your body to face Sarah and Erica. “Does the Council have some kind of banned humans list? Like, “Do not turn these people under the penalty of death” list?”

Sarah hums and furrows her brows together in thought. “I’m sure they do, I’ll go check,” and she vamp speeds away. 

“It’s the only reason I can think of. Anyone else have a theory?”

You look up from your place on the chair, and everyone (again) is staring. 

“That,” Benny declares, “was incredible.”

You meet his gaze, and for the first time since last night, it doesn’t feel weird. It feels… normal. Right. 

You smile at him shyly, and think yeah, you’ll be alright. 

A nudge to your side has your attention on Erica. Apparently she caught that little exchange. She quirks a playful eyebrow at you and you shrug your shoulders innocently. 

After that, it doesn't take too long for Sarah to return in a whoosh of air. “They do have a list! And it comes with pictures. Here,” she hands everyone a stack. Thankfully, it’s not too big. It only takes a few seconds before Rory spots them. 

Ethan nods. “Yup. I ran into her this morning and that’s when I got the vision. She didn’t seem too pleased with me.”

Now that you have all the pieces, you plan. 

A pizza is ordered and you all gather around Ethan’s dining table.

“These people know way too much about us, so what if we give them more?” Ethan suggests. 

You hum in agreement. You reach for a slice, and your hand brushes Benny’s. You lock eyes over the table, and he’s flushing that sweet red again. He retracts his hand, and you grin to yourself as you take the slice. 

“Like what?” Erica asks. 

“They think the ball is in their corner, right?” you explain. “So what if we change it up? Make them comfortable, make it even more easy for their plan to unfold, but what they don’t know is that we’re doing the same thing, only better.”

“Okay,” Rory remarks, voice laced with confusion. “What do we do?”

You and Ethan share a near manic smirk. 

“We’re gonna set a trap. Tomorrow, I will very loudly say in front of them that I’m Jane’s babysitter tonight instead of Sarah. That gets rid of one vampire, they think ambushing us will be a walk in the park if it’s me.” 

“Tomorrow night, you three,” Ethan informs Sarah, Erica, and Rory, “will be waiting in the shadows, ready to attack when necessary.” 

You take a deep breath. “Benny, you need to be with us.” 

Ethan startles. “What, why?”

You ignore him. 

“Benny, do you trust me?”

Instantly, he says yes. 

“Good,” you breathe. “You need to be the sacrifice.” 

Ethan protests immediately, and the others look at you like you’ve grown a second head. 

“Um, they need a virgin for the ritual, right?” Erica speaks up, deliberately slow as if you somehow forgot you were the one to change Benny’s virginal status. 

“Yes,” you confirm, and as subtly as you can, you explain. “They need a virgin to complete the ritual.”

You can see the moment it clicks for Sarah and Erica; unfortunately, Rory is more vocal with his understanding. 

“Ohhh, is it because Benny—YEOUCH!” He yells as Erica elbows him particularly hard in the side. 

Ethan’s eyes dart between all of you. “Uh, okay. Whatever. As long as it isn’t Jane, I don’t care who gives up their blood.”

The next day at school, you get the wannabe vampires hook, line, and sinker when you bring up your status as tonight's babysitter right in front of them. Unbeknownst to them, Jane is going to be safe next door with Benny’s grandma the second their parents leave for date night.

It takes a few hours for the “ambush” to happen, just minutes before midnight. You have fun pretending to act scared and whine when they tie you up, though you could’ve gone without the grass stains as the burly guy tossed you next to the tree. 

They make quick work of setting up the ritual, and hey, there's Shadow Ninja! Anger flares in you at the sight of Rory's friend tied up and muzzled like that.

When it’s all set up, they mix together what looks like the world’s most disgusting cocktail in a gold chalice. 

“Now,” the girl announces as the two stalk up to you, Benny, and Ethan. “Who will it be?” 

“We were gonna do mega geek over there,” the guy said, nodding toward Ethan, but then he points to you. “But what about her?” he asks his friend. 

The girl, the absolute bitch, throws her head back and laughs. “Her? Are you kidding? She’s a slut, no way am I drinking her blood. We need a virgin, not some high school whore, remember?” 

Your mouth drops open, “Well fuck you too! At least I got hot while I was still in high school. You wanna be eternally 17? I feel sorry you need a do-over when some of us got it the first time around.” That might not have been the best response, you think as she backhands you across the face, but it felt damn good to say. 

“Leave her alone,” Benny growls, eyes flaring, and wow, that’s hot. “Do not talk about her like that, I swear to god.”

The guy taunts Benny. “Oooh I think lover boy here just offered himself up! Gimme your arm, nerd.”

They aren’t gentle as they take Benny’s blood. You send them death glares every time he winces and hope this ridiculous ordeal is over soon.

You watch as they mix the blood into the chalice. They chant in terrible latin, and finally, they drink, draining the cup dry.

The air is still as you wait for a long moment.

Suddenly, they’re both doubled over in pain, clutching all over their bodies and heads, screaming so forcefully the veins in their forehead pop out. 

“We’re sorry!” the girl shrieks. “We don’t know what happened!”

The guy falls to his knees. “We didn’t mean to insult you—we did everything right, we promise!” 

“What do you mean,” the girl wails, and she spits up black. You realized then that someone must be talking to them in their heads. Him, possibly? 

The guy is shaking on the ground; he has the same black liquid spilling out of his mouth, and you know then that it’s blood. His eyes lock on Benny, and he began to crawl toward him.

“You!” is all he can gurgle out before he disappears in an ashy poof. The girl gives an ear shattering shrill, and a second later, she’s gone too. 

Sarah, Erica, and Rory emerge from their hiding place, instantly moving to free the rest of you from your bonds. 

“What just happened?” Ethan sputters. He didn’t expect that. What the fuck. 

“They messed up the ritual,” you smile. 

Ethan frowns. “Really? I don't see how.” 

Rory laughs and puts an arm around Ethan’s shoulder. 

“It’s because Benny took a trip to Bonetown,” he snickers, and you punch him in the shoulder as hard as you can. 

Rory makes an offended face at you. “Ouch! What was that for? I was just answering Ethan’s question.”

“Rory,”  You speak calmly, eyes closed. “Shut. Up.”

“What! We should all be thanking you! I mean, if it wasn’t for you, they totally would’ve summoned the Devil. Unless they chose Ethan instead but—”

“Rory, look! There's Shadow Ninja!”

The blond vampire squeals and tears off toward the tree, freeing his very much alive, but incredibly pissed off, feline friend. 

Only, the damage is done. 

You seek out Sarah and Erica, but they just shrug and chuckle awkwardly at you before vamping away. Rory, once he comes back with the squirming cat in his arms, senses the sudden tension he unwittingly created, and after a few seconds of deliberation decides the smartest move is to do the same. Jerks, all of them. 

You really, really wish Ethan wasn’t as clever as he is. You know the instant the explanation dawns on him. His mouth drops wide open and he points to Benny, who gives him an awkward smile. Then Ethan points the accusatory finger at you, and all you can do is pinch your lips together and watch him freak out.

“You—but how—why didn't you say—but that means—you exploded them with sex?”

He shakes his head and spins around, walking away to fetch Jane and muttering to himself like mad. Poor guy.

You and Benny are the only ones left of your ragtag group still lingering, so you walk to his house, and when you reach the steps, you can’t take it anymore. You blurt:

“We didn’t even kiss.” Benny stares at his shoes and bites the inside of his cheek. “We didn’t, so I didn’t know if you actually liked me or not. It was good, it was so fucking good. I should've stayed. I wasn’t thinking when I left the other day. I hate the morning after talk but you deserved so much better than what I gave you. I’m sorry. I like you Benny, I really do and I want to make this work.” You keep rambling, just saying what comes to mind and you’re still rambling when Benny cups your face in both his hands and pulls you into a blessedly mind numbing kiss. 

It’s everything you ever wanted. It's soft and sweet, yet firm and demanding, just like Benny. Your mouths move together skillfully, slotting together like they were made for it, and you’d like nothing more than to kiss him until you can’t breathe any longer. 

He pulls back slightly, lingering in your space, breathing in your air. 

“If I invite you in, will you stay this time?” 

You don't have to think. 

“Yes.” 

[vallification]

Omg I would kill for any Connie eren or porco boyfriend hcs.. preferably modern au<3

boyfriend headcanons ft. eren, connie, and porco!!!

hi anon i love you and i LOVE boyfriend headcanons. i hope you like them! i decided to do all three because i can lol.

notes: modern au oriented, possible mature themes, generally sfw, some f!reader terms used but i tried to keep it as gn!reader as possible

eren

bf!eren is incredibly chivalrous. he holds the door for you, takes your coat, walks between you and traffic, etc., and the best part about it is that he doesn’t even realize he does this stuff. it’s second nature and it’s SO charming

bf!eren wouldn’t post you often but you’d be the only thing he posts. most of his social media is blank except for a few pictures/stories of you

bf!eren’s love language is physical touch. he’s always touching you somehow, holding whatever part of you is within reach.

bf!eren keeps a picture of you on the dash of his car, in his wallet, in his phone case, AND you’re his phone background. it’s a mix of pride and pure adoration.

bf!eren loves when you wear his clothes or use his blankets, seeing you wrapped up in his stuff gives him butterflies.

bf!eren loves being around you and spending time with you, and yeah he takes you out, but his favorite time spent with you is at home being lazy.

bf!eren is honestly kind of cheesy and cliché at times!!! he loves sweeping you off your feet, kissing in the rain, winning the biggest prize at the fair for you, and other corny things like that. it’s so unexpected but it feels like a movie.

bf!eren gets jealous easily and he’s incredibly possessive of you. it’s hard to let go of that feeling of jealousy and it lingers for a while.

bf!eren makes a collaborative playlist so both of you can add songs to it.

bf!eren loves taking you on joyrides in his car, and loves driving just fast and reckless enough to give you a thrill. it’s almost like a trust fall in his eyes

bf!eren loves “manhandling” you— for example, if you’re sitting on the couch, he’ll pick you up and put you on his lap without asking. it’s 40% to show off his strength and 60% just because he can.

speaking of his strength, bf!eren looooves showing you how strong he is. he picks you up often, princess-carrying you, throwing you over his shoulder, etc.

bf!eren makes your enemies his enemies and he LOVES to talk shit.

bf!eren loves the babe/baby/babygirl pet names, especially “my baby.” if he uses your name instead, there’s a 95% chance he’s upset or mad about something

however…

despite all of the sweet, cheesy stuff, bf!eren ultimately LOVES fucking with you. annoying you, messing with you, scaring you, teasing you— that’s his favorite.

bf!eren tickles you, brake checks you, sings obnoxiously loud in your ear, wipes his sweat on you, pops up behind couches or doors or walls to scare you. bf!eren fucks with you constantly and doesn’t stop until you yell at him or storm off

bf!eren will spend the next thirty minutes begging you to stop being mad at him and to forgive him, just to do it all over again.

bf!eren will do anything you ask him to do.

pre-relationship, he was definitely plotting on you 😭

bf!eren would probably not be the easiest boyfriend to have, to be honest. even though he loves you more than anything, he’s hotheaded and prone to black-and-white thinking

you’ll be off and on for a while. it’s not the healthiest at first, but bf!eren loves you too much to give up.

bf!eren does Not play about you and won’t hesitate to confront someone about something they did to you. he also won’t hesitate to knock them into next week.

connie

bf!connie is probably the most genuine, fun-loving boyfriend on the planet.

best friends—> lovers is the only thing that makes sense, you’d have to be one of his best friends first.

bf!connie loves silly/unserious pet names and can’t stop calling you “sugar plum””pumpkin””snookums” and ”pookie bear”. when he’s being serious (which he rarely is) he calls you “my love”

you are bf!connie’s PRIDE AND JOY. he wears your initials on a necklace, takes you everywhere with him, posts you, and talks about you nonstop. if there’s an opportunity to show you off, he takes it.

bf!connie takes pictures of you CONSTANTLY. cute ones, candid ones, but especially silly/ugly/funny ones. he thinks you’re adorable no matter what but he can’t stop taking pictures of you with ugly filters on

bf!connie would buy and wear an “i 🩷 my girlfriend (partner/boyfriend)” shirt unironically. actually, it’d be a hoodie so he could wear it more often!

bf!connie makes you his everything, However…

it’s be really hard for him to separate his time with you and his friends and his one-on-one time with you.

bf!connie’s friends are everything to him but so are you!!!

bf!connie’s aversion to seriousness might cause a spat or two but nothing crazy or relationship ending. if something really bothers you or him, he’ll do his all to address it and correct it even if seriousness is hard.

bf!connie is jokingly possessive and mildly jealous. he’s not a relationship guy and wouldn’t be with someone he feels like he can’t trust completely, but his minimal experience with relationships leads to a little jealousy anyway.

bf!connie loves matching/coordinating outfits with you when you go out.

bf!connie’s love language is quality time and he loves including you in everything he does, and loves when you do the same. hobbies, self care, hangouts, it doesn’t matter— he wants to do it with you!!!

bf!connie loves play-fighting with you but he’d never actually hurt you. he just likes to roughhouse and show off his strength!

humor and playfulness are the pillars of you and bf!connie’s relationship. there’s nothing more that he loves than laughing and being playful with you, it makes his heart swell

bf!connie is messy as hell and tells you alllll of the gossip, and he expects the same from you!!!

bf!connie would LOVE if you smoked with him. he wouldn’t Make you do it but it’d make him so happy if you did. he would love to get high and get the giggles in bed with you

bf!connie makes sure you stay fed. if he eats, you eat, no questions asked!!!

bf!connie loves being all up in your personal space. his favorite thing ever is laying his head in your lap and letting you play with his hair

porco

bf!porco is always fake-beefing with you, rolling his eyes, sighing, looking at you funny, and sassing you. he’s patient zero of the sassy man apocalypse

bf!porco is an incredibly doting boyfriend even if he’s fake-sassing you constantly. he adores you completely but he can’t have you thinking he’s a softie.

bf!porco LOVES taking you on romantic, proper dates. he gives you the best because you deserve it, but also because he wants you to think highly of him.

bf!porco is incredibly possessive and jealous only because he values you greatly. he’s picky, hard to impress, and not very personable— so for him to love someone is not an easy feat, and he’s not letting ANYONE get in the way of that.

bf!porco lets his ego get in the way of things sometimes because hates the idea of seeming weak or not good enough in your eyes.

bf!porco exclusively calls you princess or babe/baby, even if he’s mad, annoyed, or busy.

bf!porco is the most flattered by you having a deep reverence for him and viewing him as a protector and provider.

bf!porco loves impressing you and tries to do it often with his looks, strength, intelligence, toughness, and capabilities. he loves being complimented on these things, too!

bf!porco is big on PDA because he wants everyone to know that you’re his. a hand on your back, an arm around your waist, a kiss on your head— everyone is going to know one way or another

bf!porco prioritizes your needs and wants because he has the mindset that if he doesn’t do it for you, someone else will. it goes hand in hand with his possessiveness and jealousy.

bf!porco loves getting on your nerves and teasing you, but he would feel AWFUL if it actually hurt your feelings or made you cry and probably never mess with you again.

bf!porco never hesitates to bring up something that’s bothering him, and never hesitates to confront you if he thinks something is bothering you.

arguments are kind of common because bf!porco is egotistical and hotheaded.

bf!porco loooooves playing with your hair.

bf!porco is kind of clingy and likes to be around you often. it surprises him because he’s not very personable.

you’re bf!porco’s muse when it comes to photography. sure, he takes posed pictures of you, but his favorites are candids. pictures where you don’t know the camera is on you and you’re being your authentic self. there are probably some from before you were together (in the least creepy way possible).

bf!porco definitely pursued you HARD before you were together. trying to impress you, teasing you, going out of his way for you, talking to you, complimenting you. he didn’t try to hide his feelings for you, but he didn’t say anything until he knew you felt the same way.

bf!porco doesn’t talk a lot about the way he feels for you, he’d rather show you through actions, but he writes you love letters often. he leaves full pages, handwritten front and back, with a bouquet of two dozen roses on your kitchen counter for you to read when he’s not there. it’s all so sappy and sweet that sometimes you can’t believe it’s from him.

[utilitycaster]

Look I do not know the exact circumstances about the Critical Role cast's personal choices but as someone who does clearly remember Campaign 2's ending and the Tumblr fandom's response:

not weird to announce something is the last episode fairly late in the game, we had two weeks warning for C2 as well

not weird to end here given the overall arc of the campaign being entirely about the moon plot. I'll leave it at that.

EXU Prime was filmed concurrently with Campaign 2 and began airing 3 weeks after Campaign 2's finale, it's not weird to air EXU Divergence right away.

We've heard like a thousand times that this was the culmination of a trilogy, it's not weird to have questions about said trilogy included in the wrap-up.

I think the wildfires may have altered the production schedule but I don't think it cut anything short - I think it just cut out some break weeks (and might be why this is one big episode instead of two more reasonable length episodes, and why they aren't doing a dark week in February). For all my criticism of this campaign's story, I do not think the cast would end things before they felt like ending them just to hit a deadline, especially since they set the deadlines.

At least in my experience on Tumblr, the response from the fandom when it was announced that there were two more episodes was pretty anxious, and then after 2x140 there was still trepidation but also a general sense of what would stick the landing and what wouldn't. Most people who were ultimately mad at the ending were invested in a very specific outcome (Molly being back, a canon ship breaking up, or a more explicit declaration of Caleb and Essek's romance) but it was overall pretty well-received at the time.

Not weird to have a BH combat-oriented one shot this soon; VM vs. Mighty Nein aired two weeks after the end of Campaign 2 and was filmed during C2. Obviously, this is specifically a fundraiser.

All this has happened before and (might) happen again/Plus ça change/those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it etc etc

[burr-ell]

My biggest problem with campaign 3 as someone who fell off around episode 80 is that none of the characters seem to want anything. None of them really have a goal they're working towards nor do they have any strong opinions about the MAIN PLOT of the campaign.

To be honest, the first thing I thought of when I read this ask was the C3 defenders who have been insisting that so much criticism of the finale comes from people who dropped off a while ago and therefore wouldn't know. But what you're saying here points to the actual problem behind why the final episodes of the campaign were such a mess. If it's episode 80 of 121 and there's only a perfunctory sense of motivation from the characters? That's a problem, and it's going to make it nearly impossible for the finale to stick the landing. To quote @wardensantoineandevka, it's an Act 2 problem, not an Act 3 problem.

I've heard more than once that "nuh-uh, Bell's Hells does have motivation, it's called altruism", and I'm going to take a detour to explain why that's not enough. If you've followed me long enough to know the deep lore, you know I used to be a fan of Voltron: Legendary Defender, whose final seasons were notoriously disastrous. Many fans hated it (for different reasons), while general audiences mainly thought it was mid. Deeper research into the production history nets inconsistent results; a lot of unsourced rumors and "common knowledge" got spread around Twitter and Tumblr about why the show fell off the rails so hard, and it's difficult to parse what feels true from what actually happened.

What I do know, however, is what I actually saw in the show, where the main cast feels as if their motivation to be there is "we're the protagonists". There's very little development of emotional connection between the characters beyond a surface level, and the characters don't have a personal investment in what they're doing. (And no, "they're just altruists" is not sufficient motivation. The altruism, like the characters, is pretend.) They're there because they got to the giant robots first. So at the end of the show, where they've escalated the stakes to "the whole MULTIVERSE is going to be destroyed", it lacks weight because none of the work has been done throughout the show to make it feel like that matters to the characters. Act 1 was promising if a bit shaky, but Act 2 is a mess, and it turned Act 3 into sludge.

To bring it back to better stories: why is it Vox Machina dealing with the Chroma Conclave? Because it's the right thing to do and because their city and home that they had invested themselves in got suddenly and violently attacked, and by a group associated with a dragon they previously killed, and they picked up more reasons along the way. Why is it the Mighty Nein dealing with Cognouza? Because it's the right thing to do and because the major player involved was piloting the body of their friend who died in an incredibly traumatic and game-changing moment, and they picked up more reasons along the way.

Why is it the Hells dealing with Ruidus? Because it's the right thing to do and...because Imogen had moon dreams and Orym's family was killed and everyone else is sort of there. Why is it Team Voltron dealing with the multiverse problem? Because it's the right thing to do and...because they're the ones with the giant robot. More than one person has described the vibe as "we met during freshman orientation and talking to anyone else would be scary".

The Hells are not played with the level of intentionality that this plot requires—but ultimately, as many people have pointed out, most of the burden of this falls not on the players but on Matt. Being so hands-off during character creation meant that he allowed the cast to make characters better suited to a completely different story than what he wanted, and was either unable or unwilling to pivot to accommodate. ("Pulpier and deadlier" is getting passed around and dunked on for a reason.) The cast was mainly trying to thread the needle of playing true to their characters while also trying to meet the needs of Matt's story when he was frequently keeping them in the dark about what he wanted for the sake of surprising them.

When the big setpiece moment of episode 51 came and went, the campaign became so focused on getting everybody through plot points that the only conversations they had were the seemingly endless circular god debates that went nowhere. It's not really a "nuanced morally gray story" as its defenders claim; it's the DM seeing the party go in a direction and then throwing something else at them to "complicate" things in a way that either gets forgotten about entirely (Hearthdell) or just grinds the story to a screeching halt for no payoff (Feywild trust exercises). These problems are most noticeable in the final arcs (particularly with the Arch Heart appearance—not giving Abu any direction and just letting him improv was a very poor decision), but the feeling that Bell's Hells are just a ping-pong ball bouncing from fetch quest to vaguely-related fetch quest, rather than active agents in their own story, was present well before that.

Campaign 3 probably won't be remembered as bad. At the end of the day, I think it's just mid. And honestly? That might be worse.

[mousegoesmoo]

Okay I'm sure many of you all have seen this tiktok:

This tiktok has seemingly reached a very broad audience and I'm lowkey beefing with some of the comments. And then comments are stirring some byler doubt in me but I'm just gonna come on here and think through things logically. I'm only going to take into account things that are canon or have been stated by official sources.

Many commenters have stated that Byler will only be one sided, Will in love with Mike. Narratively, this does not make sense. Will's character has been pre-planned to be queer from season 1 episode 1 and in his character description. Additionally, Robin originally was not going to be gay, but that was changed during the filming of Season 3 (Maya Hawke talks about this). So, why would they have the only canonically gay character be used as a plot device to further El and Mikes relationship? It just doesn't make sense for his love to be unrequited. They have stretched out the plot point of Will's sexual orientation and love for Mike for many seasons, it has been slow burned. They could have given Will a sharp rejection in Season 3 during the rain fight, but they didn't. If they did, moving to California would be an opportune time for Will to move on from his love for Mike. But they didn't. Will made an entire painting for Mike and gave him a veiled confession- if it ends in unrequitedness they stretched out this plot line for far to long. It is unnecessary. It would just be unnecessarily devastating for Will to be rejected in the final season. Plus, we have seen it before, entire relationships can form in one season. Mike and El were formed in one season, Nancy and Steve broke up and then Nancy and Jonathan got together, why can't the same happen with Mike and Will?

2. Mike has never been implied or done any actions to suggest he is gay or reciprocates Will's feelings. First of, to quote the byler slides, Mike has more queer coding than Will (slide 7, slides linked). To preface, queer coding is "...when a character’s sexual orientation is implied by significant subtext without being stated outright."(Elizabeth Duarte). So, this doesn't necessarily prove that Mike is in love with Will, but it does imply that he is in the very least bicurious. Personally, I believe that one of the strongest bits of queer coding for Mike is during his initial attraction to Eleven. Eleven was often described to look very similar to Will and boy-ish. A little suspicious if you ask me. To add on to that, the problems in Mike and Eleven's relationship have grown as El has explored her femininity and self. Granted, the problems could have arose due to them both aging, but, it is still another common denominator. But, the byler slides have many instances of queer coding for Mike (some probably better than what I presented), so I would suggest looking into those rather than having me repeat them here. But queer coding implies queerness, therefore, Stranger Things has suggested that Mike is not straight.

2.5 Mike's feelings have never been reciprocated for Will. Now this is a trickier one. We haven't had a scene from Mike's perspective in a while, making it very difficult to have hard evidence that he is into Will as well. However, we can prove that Mike is heavily queer coded (because he is). So, if Mike were gay, who would he direct his affections towards? Lucas, who is trying to rekindle his relationship Max, Dustin, who has had a steady long distance relationship with Suzie, or Will, who has never shown interest in any girls despite having many opportunities (arguably, more opportunities than the other party members)? They would not put Mike into a one sided pining with Lucas or Dustin for the final season, it simply does not make sense. But Will, who has already had a developed crush on Mike for several seasons, the pieces start to click together. Mike liking Will is very dependent on Mike being queer, which we have proven through the fact that he is heavily queer coded. So, the only same sex individual that would make logical sense as his love interest is Will. Also: a huge point about not having a Milkeven endgame is that Eleven was supposed to die and, consequently, so would their relationship.

3. Unlikely for the time, so it will never happen. Girlypops. It is unlikely for someone to be dating someone with superpowers in the 80's. It is unlikely for a parallel dimension to take over and infect this one random town in Indiana in the 80's. ITS FICTION. Additionally, it is know that homophobia exists in the fictional Stranger Things universe (Lonnie, Troy, Robin's extreme hesitance to come out, etc.), ,but on the other hand, the Duffers are actively pursuing a relationship between Robin and Vickie. As of our knowledge right now, Vickie's sole purpose in the show is to be a love interest of Robin's. If they don't end up together it is most likely because Robin either gets a new love interest or one of the two dies in the final season. Ultimately, I do not think that Stranger Thing's taking place in the 80's will have an impact on whether or not byler becomes canon.

So those were the main three points made in the comment section of that tiktok.

I just want to also state that if Byler isn't canon, I would want to consider this to be a case of queerbaiting (but, this still depends on how they wrap up Season 5). Also, I would consider slapping a new love interest for Will to wrap up the season as very sloppy and lazy writing. AND, I think using Will's love for Mike as a stepping stone to progress a heterosexual relationship deeply offensive. If they were going to have Will be rejected, they should have done it way earlier in the series.

Thats all I have to say xx

[bam-monsterhospital]

some more elderscrolls lore thinkies for ya:

meridia's sphere is souls.

okay so i was looking through "the book of the daedra" in-universe book that's been in morrowind through to eso, because i wanted to look at any differences (and i wanted to remember what it said about your fav and mine Namira), and something that always stuck out to me when i was first learning my daedric princes wayyyyyyyyyyy back in 2006 playing oblivion on a crappy laptop, is Mephala's description. That her "sphere is obscured to mortals". This lil bit has helped me wrap my brain around her theming for years now, and has always been something it feels like the writers toss aside in favour of reverting her into lolth (because elderscrolls was just originally dnd, but i digress).

Her sphere is obscured to mortals. 'sphere' can mean realm, domain, essence, what she rules over, what she does (like everything elderscrolls, nothing is goddamn concrete), and it always made sense that the otherworldly being who's plots and requests seem nonsensical and randomly petty to regular people, would herself embody 'unknowability'. so, mephala has always been the unknown, the mystery, the big picture, possibility, who delights in the cascade of consequences that to anyone else might seem unforseeable.

Now. if you scroll your eyes down from mephala's snippet, meridia's section is right there. what does the book have to say about the light deity of light and undeath-hating that elderscrolls online loves using as their mystical christian goodness waifu? It says meridia's sphere is obscured to mortals. just like it does mephala.

okay, prepare for adhd-brain-train speedmode:

meridia is 'associated' with the 'energies' of living things. the book says. she's usually called the 'lady of infinite energies' as a title, and obviously because of this energy-connection and undeath-hatred, there's a theme of light glopped onto her, right? but it's not light itself she has domain over. she does not cover the sun. we already have azura who is connected to the dawn (y'know for the transitional component there), and meridia is said to be about energies. Life energies.

what is life energy? souls. souls are an energy source in this heckin universe, and they're used by everything. soul energy is a heckin monopoly when it comes to magical batteries. and souls are immortal, right? the lady of infinite energies, and those infinite energies are souls.

this is why she hates molag bal & undeath. molag bal takes souls, her domain. vampires have souls, but they're claimed by molag bal, hence meridia's hatred for vampires. undead would either 1: have no souls, or 2: take a soul to make, putting the soul under the power of whatever made the undead, keeping souls away from meridia again.

she's just like molag bal. her 'purified' are horrific eternal servitors, their bodies made immortal like the souls inside them.

whO ORCHESTRATES THE ENTIRE SOUL-ORIENTED GAME OF KEEPAWAY THAT IS THE ESO MAIN BASE GAME PLOT. IT'S MERIDIA. she holds on to your soul (supposedly) and is like 'here ya gooooo, good as newww ^u^'. what does fuckin any daedric prince have to do with souls, other than molag bal? ffffffffffff IT'S HER DOMAIN. IT'S HER SPHERE. IT'S HER WHEELHOUSE.

she's a fuckin soul-collector AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ahem but yeah. that's the summarized version of it all. souls.

[angelflms]

Cobra Kai has a tone-deaf problem.

Now, I am a Black woman so all of my observations are through the lenses of that. You can critique my words all you want, but don't be disrespectful because I will be equally as disrespectful in the replies.

I have this phenomenon that I've noticed for a lot of shows I have watched that I call "The Leo Dooley effect," inspired by character from the Disney XD show Lab Rats, where the main character, a POC who set the tone for the whole story, is surrounded by a white ensemble cast that slowly but surely pushes that character aside to serve their purpose.

Cobra Kai does the same thing with Miguel Diaz, as he seems to be the sole reason why any of these things on the show are happening (for better or for worse) and gets one of the worst character driven storylines throughout the series post-coma (I rewrote his story on my blog. Go find it under the Miguel or Xolo hashtags) to further make the show The Robby Show (we'll get into the tone-deaf writing of his character this past season in a minute). He becomes a shell of a character, empty, boring, and in the sidelines all up until the final season, where the writers seem to remember *snaps fingers* oh shit, Miguel's one of our protagonists, and writes an okay story for him. Better than his s5 plot, but not as good as the stuff we got in s1, 2, and the last half of 3 and 4.

Now, s6 has him in his true prime (not in the way people claimed he was in the past seasons). He's got a clear mind, he's goals-oriented, you wouldn't even be able to tell that this kid was paralyzed from the waist down a year ago (in-universe time). However, he's out-performing everyone, was single-handedly saving his team, and it wasn't even enough for Johnny. It was very interesting to watch as People of Color, especially Black and Brown people, tend to have to go above and beyond to prove that we're the shit, but it'll never amount to anything if our white associates (minus Devon in this case - more on her later) aren't doing anything. But the second they do, everyone is getting praised. Miguel knocked his opponent out in forty seconds. FORTY SECONDS. But because the team wasn't doing good overall, he got no attention. I know that feeling all too well and it sucks.

As much as I thought Johnny's "Miguel is our anchor" line was powerful, it also didn't at the same time. The Magical Negro is such an annoying stereotype, as well as the Strong Black Woman/Man, and the Brown and Asian variations that come with it.

Miguel is the Brown equivalent of the Magical Negro, trying to tell the white Johnny what's right and wrong. Teaching him what's okay to say and what's not, despite Johnny being grown enough to probably understand shit on his own. He basically is teaching Johnny in a sense despite the fact that it should be the other way around. And I know that's a typical mentor/mentee thing trope but with how the show goes out of its way to show how self aware of modern problems it is, it's hella tone-deaf.

In terms of the Strong Black Man trope (or in this case Brown), Miguel isn't always strong. He breaks down and cries pretty often but it's viewed by the fandom as annoying, weak, and pathetic, as well as not manly which pisses me all the way off because every time he gets emotional, it's with valid reason. Losing his girlfriend (both times), finding out he's paralyzed, apologizing for running away, his mom possibly dying, not getting into Stanford (tho this would've had more of a punch if Stanford actually mattered but it doesn't whatever). Also, he's a 16/17 year old Brown kid in poverty who was embarrassingly bullied MULTIPLE TIMES. You're telling me you didn't cry as a kid? But when Robby cries every once in a while (which is also equally as valid because he was also a kid in poverty who was bullied), everyone holds his hand and says "it's okay."

"He's our anchor." It just sounds so off to me. Like has to be the one to help everyone else, when you have two Captains who can do the exact same thing. We as POCs have to be the ones to hold down the fort and keep things steady on our backs while white people can settle for mediocrity and not have to do to much because "hey, the POCs got us." It's just like that "if you're in danger, find a Black woman" thing. Because we're expected to be the ones to save y'all when y'all are in trouble. But when the roles reverse, we're expected to save ourselves because we're strong. Y'all don't like it when Miguel isn't emotionally or physically tough because y'all expect him to push through since he's the main character, but it also feels like he's expected to push through because he's a Brown boy in poverty so he's been through enough.

Tory's "we have to fight to get a spot in life" speech was well performed by Peyton List but it felt strange to see a white woman explain privilege to a Brown boy who has less privilege in comparison to her. I have always had a problem with that scene and I never won't have an issue with it.

Moving on to Kenny. Kenny is the only Black character of current time to be in the ensemble. Aisha was on the show but left ofc. Kenny, like Miguel was brutally picked on, primarily by white kids, especially by white rich boy Anthony LaRusso. In the fandom Anthony tends to be the more favored overall. Kenny is primarily favored on the Black side of the fandom (much like Miguel). Similar to Miguel, there was a moment in s6 part two that may have not been intentional but in my eyes, felt very racially targeted.

Hawk and Demetri were very skeptical towards Kenny because they assumed that he was working with Silver despite the fact that Kenny didn't even want to do the Sekai Tekai to begin with after he became publicly bullied again. During a round of tag-teamed fighting, the boys refused to let Kenny in, causing them to lose the round due to Robby not being prepared to be tagged in (he thought they were gonna tag Kenny). Kenny gets mad, rightfully so but the boys didn't back down on their theory (the only reason this theory was even a thing was because they say Kenny and Silver talking and assumed the worst). It took the team's "anchor" to give Robby a pep talk to lead and the others will follow (you know, something a Captain should already know) for Kenny to get the attention he deserves. And then Hawk and Demetri finally accept Kenny. All because the white guy said "hey, we should tag him in."

That sounds so off in so many ways.

It wasn't intentional, I know. But the fact that this was something that happened and the boys didn't even apologize to Kenny after for the assumptions they made only furthers my point on how tone deaf this show can get. Amanda, Miguel, and Robby are literally the only people who see Kenny as more than just a Silver puppet and it sucks because Hawk and Demetri were in the same spot as Kenny once upon a time.

And then there's Devon, the overworking, overwhelmed Asian girlie who tries her hardest to seek validation and gets overlooked. Similar to Miguel in this new part, Devon got ignored badly in the first part. It was so bad that she cheated to get into the Sekai Tekai and got her ass handed to her. And like Miguel, it takes her to have to explain to her white sensei that she's being ignored for him for her to be taken seriously. She's not the best fighter by any means but I thought we were done with this Asian stereotype years ago. And the way Sam talked to her after literally celebrating her victory with all smiles and everything in the first part??? Like it felt so fake as hell.

Finally, Robby. Robby is written well, we all know that. But this shit that they did to him in the second part pissed me off, especially since it's not gonna get addressed apparently. So Robby gets drunk at a bar and basically follows Zara back to her hotel room. Next time we see them, he's disoriented, and she's kissing him. I'm sorry, but that's sexual assault, yes? Robby was drunk and didn't remember anything. So that's her taking advantage of him, yes? Well the creator apparently doesn't think so and is saying that Robby made a mistake and that the interaction won't be talked about next part.

Bitch, Robby is a VICTIM.

Zara sexually assaulted him. Just because he's a man doesn't change the fact that the man got taken advantage of by Zara.

Like did we watch the same scene?

This show has so many problems and I feel like since it's a show about fighting no one cares. But as a Black woman, I see this shit and in between the lines, there's so many issues that won't even get fixed because the show is over.

[olderthannetfic]

Hey. Maybe not the place. But people treat your ask box like a forum so 🙏 I thought I was ace because porn does nothing for me and I only like erotica/doujinshi if I like the characters. But I recently discovered watching wrestling does something for me. Is this really weird? How do I know where I fit?

--

I will gleefully embrace the identity of basement-dwelling gremlin who prefers horny fiction to actually dating or having sex with other people.

But porn tastes aren't what defines sexual orientation.

Neither is willingness to get off the couch.

Are you attracted to people, anon? That's usually how people define the various identities on that spectrum: no attraction, very occasional attraction way below what's seen as commonplace, attraction only when you know someone well, etc. (Which, of course, brings up the question of what level is "normal" and whether someone's judging based on Hollywood nonsense or on what's actually typical.)

For me personally, mainstream porno movies have actors I find un-hot wearing clothing I find libido-killing in ugly environments with bad lighting and camerawork. The scenarios lack the psychological depth needed to interest me, and there's little sense of intimacy.

This has nothing to do with orientation and everything to do with film craft.

Doujinshi of characters I'm already familiar with have a lot more context for what's going on, and this can add a lot of zing to kinks or increase the apparent intimacy.

Wrestling has plotlines. It has deeply charismatic stars. It has different body types than a lot of porn. There's nothing odd about finding it hot but not liking the porno movies you've been exposed to.

Plenty of people prefer all of the horny film festival favorites of the 90s to actual porno movies. It seems like funding dried up for those kinds of movies for a decade or two, but they used to be common.

I preferred the kinkier ones. Crash, for example, was a staple of my teenage viewing. Not the cringey one that won too many awards: the pervert one with the eight billion scenes of people licking each other's scars like they were performing oral.

It really digs into the psychology of kink... in addition to being far more visually beautiful and starring far hotter people than most of the commercial porn I've seen. Same deal with The Pillow Book or ¡Átame! or Maurice or Bound.

I've been seeing articles lately talking about a return to 90s levels of sex in arty movies. People point to the likes of Call Me By Your Name and Saltburn.

Live action commercial porno movies do vary, obviously, but it's just so, so, so common to find them tacky or boring while liking other forms of porn, even other live action sex scenes.

Hell, even for poorly shot stuff, I've never seen even amateur porn capture the vibes of this one long-deleted youtube video of a guy giving a lecture on anal massage and treating his subject like a prop while lecturing to a big group of onlookers.

--

Sometimes, people just aren't very into casual sex, and horny art where they can fantasize about people who actually know each other is better than horny art about the pizza delivery guy. Sure, there are pornos that try to have more plot, but porn stars are generally good at being porn stars, not at subtle and naturalistic acting.

Wrestlers are hardly subtle, but they do do different acting from your average porno, and there's more continuing plotline. Unless you mean... like... college wrestling? (In which case, Kink.com has or had some series where people wrestle to decide who gets to top. Wrestling is hardly a niche interest.)

For kinksters, the context and psychology often matter a lot. Showing an object with a lot of cultural baggage, like shiny black leather, can be hot, but the viewer might need more, and your average porno isn't geared up to provide that.

--

Anyway, if you want to determine your own orientation, your interest in art isn't necessarily going to help that much.

If you're only rarely attracted to people, and you have to know them well first, you could be demisexual, but you could equally well be shy or nervous or depressed or repressed or too busy and stressed to spend much time noticing your own feelings—or just surrounded by people who aren't your type. Only your personal interpretation of your internal experience can determine which it is.

But no, being horny for wrestling is not weird.

[darklinaforever]

I don't understand some people's obsession with the age difference between Edwin and the Cat King.

Yes, Edwin is a perennial 16 year old.

But the Cat King isn't even human. He is literally a cat deity. And as someone @jaks21 pointed out to me in the comments, the Cat King has the overall behavior of a cat : "I think it's also being forgotten that the cat king isn't human. He can shift into human form, but he is essentially a cat. This is all cat behavior. They have absolutely no sense of personal space (unless it's their own), they like the thrill of the hunt and they like to play."

Soon people will talk to me about zoophilia maybe ?

Beyond that, the Cat King's behavior seems to be quite immature most of the time as well.

So why are people absolutely trying to categorize him as a straight-up adult when he's not a human being ? Who tells you that his brain works like a human's ? Who tells you he's not a baby compared to other supernatural beings ?

It's all well and good to judge Edwin for his reality on the show, but give the same courtesy to the Cat King in this case, otherwise it just seems designed to unnecessarily lower the ship.

Also, if we want to speak realistically... since the Catwin plot revolves around Edwin finally coming to terms with his sexual orientation through his attraction to the Cat King (even if we know that there is also an important emotional context involved ) well it seems to me that Edwin is exactly the age of consent required for sexual relations, namely 16 years old.

Sexual maturity is not the same as legal age making you an adult and I feel like people often confuse the two.

I also find it paradoxical to say that Edwin, who lived more than a century, is judged as not being able to date an almost immortal divinity (because yes, one day the Cat King will no longer have his 9 lives and will therefore die for of good) clearly outside human norms because he happens to be a Cat King and not having at all the behavior of an human adult, or even of a real human, under the pretext that Edwin has his brain blocked at age 16 years old.

But many people will also say that Edward in Twilight cannot love Bella, a teenager, on the pretext that he has lived several centuries due to being a vampire, even if this type of vampire in this universe mentally stops evolving at the age where they were transformed, making Edwin an eternal teenager of 17 years old. Yet he is considered disgusting for wanting to be with a human teenager of almost the same age mentally ?(Be careful, I'm not saying that Twilight is an excellent and brilliant story, I'm just talking about the context of the age difference between the protagonists and the ridiculous discourse around it)

The battles over the age difference in fiction featuring supernatural beings are almost never consistent. And for good reason, I find it useless !

Because most of the time, the supernatural creature does not meet human standards in order to be associated with the younger person (at least if this person is actually younger, in the term of non-majority, because otherwise, as long as everyone is an adult we don't care). Or if it is not the creature that follows a particular pattern, we are for example transported into a universe inspired by a particular era, where the legal age is then different.

So, we must stop judging imaginary beings as if they were human adults, it makes no sense.

Yes. Edwin has been a 16 year old ghost for a very long time and technically cannot mature beyond this age. Tragic. But in the show, which is not the comics, it doesn't really matter. Edwin remains a character with an arc and evolution. So he has undeniably experienced things as a ghost that allow him to change and evolve in his own way.

Of course, it can be confusing, but Edwin's case aside, the Cat King does not meet human standards. And he clearly doesn't behave like a human. Even less that of an adult human. So stop judging him as such.

Essentially the Cat King resembles in his behavior a mixture of... well, a cat, since that's what he is, and a form of immature teenager.

That the Cat King is older than Edwin doesn't matter if he doesn't have a maturity greater than Edwin.

Once again, the Cat King clearly doesn't have the mentality or maturity of most healthy adults of our world. So why absolutely try to judge him as such ? Again, that doesn't make sense.

The Cat King is a being to be judged outside of our realistic standards.

Plus, being uncomfortable with the Cat King & Edwin relationship because Edwin is 16... seems ridiculous again.

Although I would love for the show to make Catwin canon in the future I doubt that will be the case (but good if it happens !), as things stand the Cat King only seemed to be a tool to allow Edwin to open up a little more about himself, in particular about accepting his sexuality, even if not only that. So, since the sexual aspect is very much emphasized in this relationship, it must be taken into account. And Edwin is a 16 year old teenager. Not only do adolescents inevitably have a period of trouble linked to sex, but in fiction the treatment of sexuality is sometimes done through a creature outside the norms of reality, therefore fanciful, often morally dubious.

It’s a classic trope in the world of fiction !

And if that makes you uncomfortable... well I don't know what to do for you.

Again, as I said before, Edwin is of the required age of consent in terms of sexual relations.

So how does it shock you to see someone old enough to explore their sexuality find themselves in a sexuality-related scenario with the classic trope of a fantasy creature to do so ?

This kind of controversy is beyond me! We're talking about fictional characters of a supernatural nature !

[keyotos]

book lover

summary ⎯ you rant about your book to alhaitham. he takes the time to admire you during your tangents.

tags ⎯ fluff. idk its just really cute. soft alhaitham idk what to tell you. you and alhaitham are two little book nerds that read physical books together and rant abt them. u2 are giving old happily married couple tbh.

tana's words ⎯ idk mane im in love. but BLADE trailer came out today so idk..... feeling a little bit i'm abt to commit an infidelity

you looked very conflicted as your eyes scanned the words of the book you were currently reading. to any other person, you looked rather focused. your face was pensive and your eyes were fixated on the novel you were reading.

but to alhaitham (who thinks and hopes he's the one that knows you the most), he realizes you're disconcerted by the novel you're reading. it's the way you're slightly pouting (almost frowning) your lips as you continue reading, like you're dissatisfied. your eyes aren't focused, but instead they were crinkled with confusion. what you're actually focused on is how much more ludicrous this book could get.

alhaitham picks his book back up again and continues his book, "murder on the orient express," by margaret atwood. something you recommended to him. alhaitham started it right after he finished the book he was reading previously, forgetting about the other books on his shelf.

alhaitham was nearly halfway into the novel when he turned his head to check on you again. this time, there was no doubt you looked pained. your eyes were narrowed with incredulity as you read the rest of the passage. you were biting your lip and your grip on the book was tight. you wanted to say something, alhaitham figured out.

so alhaitham puts down his book on the nightstand and stretches. he wraps his hands around your waist and moves closer to you, his head now resting on your shoulder. he reads a few passages here and there. and the way you slow down as you read does not elude him: he knows you're just waiting for him to finish his passage.

you two stay like this for a while. alhaitham's hands are wrapped around your body as his head lays comfortably on your shoulder. he presses a few kisses to your neck here and there, never failing to make you heat up. he's pulled you closer into him by now; you're on the verge of sitting on his lap in the bed. but even during this relaxing moment, you couldn't help but feel stress. it's probably because of this god-awful book you're reading.

you let out a loud sigh, slamming your book shut and not even bothering to bookmark it (you're a dog-earer; alhaitham thinks you're despicable for it). you lay it down on your nightstand before you take the time to melt into alhaitham's touch. once you've put your book down, you take a deep breath, and alhaitham swears he feels life return back into you.

alhaitham presses a quick kiss to your jaw, "are you okay?"

you faintly smile at him, "fine." and alhaitham knows what will come next. alhaitham studies you; he tries to dissect your every word and expression; and most of all, he always wants to find out more about you, despite having being with you for a long time already.

your smile disperses, now followed by a scowl, "i lied. i'm not fine," you rubbed your eyes with your hands as alhaitham listened to you, "can your brain hurt after reading something so terrible? my brain feels like it aged fifty years and i'm not even finished with this god-awful book. nothing in here makes sense, the plot is rudimentary at most, and the characters are making me want to rip my hair out," you ranted, your hands going to massage your temples because of how angry you were getting.

"and it's not just that too," you continued. alhaitham's eyes were on you; listening to every word, watching your eyes, and your lips. he wanted to kiss you into peace, but he also loved hearing your tirades. the way your voice became so passionate and wild made him feel things that he thought he wouldn't have felt before.

"the plot barely makes any sense. like, you're telling me grown people act like this? these people are two decades older than us, haitham," he feels himself melt at the sound of his name, nodding along to your tangent so you know he's listening, "but they act like teenagers! like... don't you have jobs? lives?" you pick up the covers that enshroud your body and proceed to let out the loudest groan into them.

you pulled down the covers, letting out a deep sigh. "sorry, i had to get that out," you turned to look at alhaitham, only to see him staring right back at you.

"i guess you're not recommending that one," alhaitham joked, removing his hands from your waist and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, pressing you against him. he presses a kiss to your temple as he feels you breath slowly.

"definitely not," you shook your head, now leaning onto alhaitham's shoulder, "the thing was, my friend recommended that to me. so, i don't know if they hate me or not, because there's no way they'd genuinely think this book was good."

alhaitham hummed, "maybe they were trying to gauge your reaction," alhaitham's hand slipped under your shirt and started tracing shapes on your bare collarbone, "like you did to me that one time," alhaitham adds, tone lifting with mock-exasperation.

you laugh, and alhaitham thinks the sound is absolutely heavenly. sometimes, especially during long nights in the akademiya, he dreams of your laughter and your smile. the sound is so melodic that any other laugh became incomparable and unrivaled by yours.

"okay, that was pretty funny though," you poked his cheek, grinning, "i almost spit out my drink when you got to that one sex scene. i thought you'd never take any recommendations from me ever again," you joyfully reminisced, letting yourself sink into alhaitham's warmth.

"'how fast you go. you arrive at a conclusion much sooner than i would permit myself to do,'” alhaitham quotes. his hands travel farther down your shirt as he allows himself to kiss your neck.

you ignore his actions, turning to him suddenly, "you're reading murder on orient express?" your eyes widen.

alhaitham's expression remains neutral, still kissing your body, "of course. i read everything you recommend me." he didn't expect you to be so shocked. he regards your opinion with high value.

your eyes still remain wide, not moving away from his face as alhaitham mindlessly rubs his hands up and down your torso, "even the bad ones?"

alhaitham chuckles, "even the bad ones. but, if it makes you feel better, you haven't recommended me any terrible books yet. at least, not as terrible as the one you're reading currently."

you sigh, looking at the disgraced book on the nightstand, "yeah... i don't think books can get worse than that one," you turn back to run your hand through alhaitham's hair, sorting out a few strands here and there. alhaitham quietly hums as you do so, sounding pleasantly satisfied.

"why are you reading murder on the orient express so soon? thought you had that other book to read about," you quietly asked.

"because i love you. and i want to experience what you experienced," alhaitham says it like it's the easiest thing in the world. i love you. i want to experience things with you. it makes your heart flutter infinitely through the stars. you've read countless romance novels through your years, yet no author would be able to word love as well as alhaitham did.

you smile wide, and alhaitham thinks if he was a dying man, seeing your smile would allow him to survive for decades. too flustered to say anything, you tuck yourself into the nape of his neck, hiding from his prying eyes.

you know alhaitham. you are aware that he knows you just as well as you know him. you know that, with one glance, alhaitham is probably able to determine every single thought you're thinking. with one word from your mouth, alhaitham understands you immediately, no need to elaborate. it's long lasting, the mutual understanding the both of you have.

yeah, alhaitham can read you like a book. he takes great satisfaction in doing so, as well.

you grab his chin and tilt his head down to meet yours, giving him a chaste kiss on his lips. you grin once again (a sight alhaitham will never get sick of) and turn off the lamp next to your bed. you whisper, "good night," in his ear and cover yourself with the sheets as you drift off into sleep, content with this night despite the horrible book.

alhaitham softly smiles, even chuckles a little bit about how fast you went to bed. he traces your jawline with his thumb before turning off his light and pulling you closer into him.

alhaitham usually does not reread books. but, if you were a book, he'd think he would reread you over and over again, because every time he finds something new to love about you, there is always more. you reel him in more than any hook. you interest him more than any other topic. you grab his attention more than any other story.

maybe he's over exaggerating. but that's no big deal for now. for now, alhaitham will just enjoy you and your presence. and he will reread you the next time he has a chance.

umm idk if that ending made sense but it's like 4am rn and idrc. alhaitham is prob ooc in this but whateva bc i like my men to be nice bc I CAN CHANGE THEM!! anyway srry if this don't make sense its 4am rn

[emblemxeno]

As a Fates fan I'll give my take: Corrin's thing is at it's core sexism. And since most FE fans appear to be gamer dudes they don't like those traits on a male character, the female version gets a pass because that's just how girls act. So Corrin get's both the ew emotional boy and the girl gets the critique that Celica and Erika get and it's a perfect storm. That's all it is and it'll never change especially when you look at how the world appears to be going backwards. Byleth though? Byleth is just so cool and relatable, Byleth is a great character unlike Corrin and both versions are so badass and don't you dare say the female version is fanservice too because she actually does something fight the power. Byleth makes sense why everyone fawns over me-him! Before Byleth everyone was praising Robin for being a great avatar and why can't Corrin be more like Robin (who for the record is almost more of what gamer men consider an acceptable personality) Now we have Alear who is also more emotional so due to that gets shit but not quite the extent of Corrin. Put that with his design (lots of people don't like it compared to the other male avatars who have similar hair while ever Corrin haters think FCorrin is cute) and all the shit slinging Fates gets for "having a bad plot/no continent name etc" and it's a recipe for disaster. But the base is sexism and that's why to this day Corrin is over criticized.

Y'know, that does run in the back of my mind, because you're right. Corrin gets the same types of hate that female lords got pretty exclusively in previous games. Naivete, complicit in bad things while trying to make the best of a situation, getting positions people don't see as deserved, being on the losing end/getting trapped, etc.

The exceptions would be ones like Lyn, Elincia, and Lucina, but those are also characters who have their "main character/lord" status put into question constantly, and the reason for that is probably the reason they don't get as much hate. They're not the most central part, so whatever happens to them isn't a slight on the player by way of absence of control.

As you say, Byleth and Robin being cool and competent at all times is welcome because people can project themselves onto that and find relatability in spite of the fact that they have established and immutable traits inherent to their design and writing. But it goes further when you consider other lords and the forefront behind their popularity. Ike has Smash of course, but he's also a no-nonsense merc who's not afraid to speak his mind. Hector, Alm, Ephraim and Chrom have similar vibes as well. Sigurd and Leif are venerated because of being from games that are genuinely pretty genius in writing and (sometimes) game design, and their popularity is only kneecapped by the fact that their games aren't overseas. Yet even then, they still share the "get shit done" type of personalities, the fact that they have to be developed out of those aspects notwithstanding.

But the others? There's a connecting line when it comes to Marth and Eliwood, because they have very similar traits. Marth gets by with Smash and first lord legacy status but I find it hard to see anyone declare him as their favorite. Roy would be in the same position had Smash not been a factor, since he's even more like Marth than his dad is tbh. Seliph would be the oddball considering his CYL win, but FE4 fans were smart in banding together behind one character that time.

The point is, going by the idea that a significant portion of the player base is a certain demographic, we can parse this into a pattern. Possible subconscious unintended misogyny affecting perception of characters who embody stereotypically "feminine" traits (Celica, Eirika, Micaiah, Corrin and Alear); extension of that dislike to fond ambivalence to characters who, while they don't have the former issues that the previous ones have, still aren't "masculine and action oriented enough" to be the auto favorites (Marth, Roy, Eliwood, Lyn, Elincia and Lucina); and characters who, for better and worse, will have massive fans because of the no-nonsense vibe (Alm, Hector, Sigurd, Leif, Ike) and/or for projectional power fantasy (Robin and Byleth).

Part of this is also definitely how IS writes each of these characters, that can't be understated. Having a prominent trait of "Naive and Indecisive" be a staple for that many female lords, inches towards "WTF Territory." But the audience bias needs to be seen as well, I feel.

Including what you say, as it's incredibly egregious with Corrin atp.

[yesimwriting]

How do you think Felix would react to bestfriend!reader coming out as bi/pan or nonbinary/genderfluid?

Do you think he would view women as much of a threat as men or…? And what do you think he would say if reader went: “OMG FELIX that girl is so hot” or something like that.

Sorry this was kinda long— 😭

i wanted to answer this fully bc it's a good question, and that got a little long so it's below the cut!!

also i analyze felix's sexuality a little just to give some background on my perspective,, but i try not to put my own speculations on felix's sexuality in fics (unless asked to) bc i want the person reading to be able to decide how they see felix

oh!! also! side note! i've mainly written bestfriend! reader with female pronouns,, and some plot stuff in the main fic i'm writing does rely on reader being female, but if anyone ever wants a specific blurb to have reader be gender neutral,, just specify in the ask and i'll make sure to write it that way :)

okay,, i think felix is extremely bi/pan leaning

and by that i mean i don't think he'd label his sexuality,, and not even in a 'too cool' way, he just wouldn't put that much thought into it,, like he probably sees himself eventually settling down/marrying a girl bc that's kind of the default (a tiny bit of comphet lol),, but i think he likes who he likes, he's attracted to who he's attracted to and doesn't pay much mind to their gender

i feel like this applies to most of felix's family/inner circle as well lol,, like attraction is attraction, why get caught up on the details if that makes sense

also no one can convince me felix didn't feel anything for ollie,, they are that romantic coded best friendship that ends dramatically and traumatically for all involved <3 but in bestfriend!felix verse reader will always be his #1, trust

but if we are reading felix as straight,, i still think he'd be super supportive (bi wife energy)

so considering that (and the fact that felix loves reader too much to ever make them feel bad about anything,, especially something like that) he'd be extremely supportive of reader's sexual orientation and/or gender identity,, and if anyone even implies something rude oh!! he's fighting!

depending on how bad it is, felix might just exclude that person socially, and bc of felix's influence, that means everyone starts to shun that person,, if someone was really homophobic towards reader,, felix would cuss them out fr,, might even instinctually get physical depending on how bad it is

as far as reader being like "felix! that girl is so hot" his initial reaction would be to agree/hype you up bc it's instinct to support reader,, but then it'd hit him and he'd be like oh. wait.. :(

true equality and acceptance of reader's sexuality/gender identity is wanting everyone of all genders to realize how wonderful reader is,, but from a distance <3 like yes i have the cutest, most perfect, lovely,, intelligent best friend, i'm glad you noticed,, unfortunately that's all you get to do

i do think that if it was just you two talking while out partying or hanging out and it didn't go further than some comments, felix would be supportive, but he'd be a little extra touchy to prove to himself that reader will let him

i think he'd be more bothered if reader called a guy hot, not bc he's more intimidated, but bc at least when reader finds a girl attractive it's much less of a direct comparison (bc female presenting and masculine presenting are generally hot in different ways) if that makes sense

if it goes any further than that,, felix is equally pouty no matter the person's gender

also we know felix's friends have a habit of hooking up with venetia,, so i could see this making felix more wary of venetia and reader getting along a little too well over the summer lol,, like he wouldn't assume the worst if they started liking each other a little, but he'd be wary

honestly, though,, at the end of the day, as long as it's clear that felix is reader's absolute favorite person of any gender, he'd be chill and even when he's jealous he's supportive