#listen not only would he fit right in with their vibe but if we go off of archie and sonic rivals 2 then shadow and metal canonically have-

[lunapegasus]

post-redemption metal sonic joins team dark

[solsays]

Lifers x Crane Wives

I saw someone comment on a life series TikTok or something to try and pair all of the lifers to a crane wives song, without repeating songs. so obviously I spent an hour doing it

Grian—Tongues & Teeth (self explanatory if you’ve EVER heard this song)

Scar—Steady, Steady (this whole song is about how their partner is walking out but they still want to be “wild and free” which is just SO Scar coded)

Tango—Ancient History (he keeps teaming up with Skizz and I feel like this song vibes with that, it also just feels very Tango)

Skizz—Icarus (this man always gives himself up for his teammates I swear, and he fuels them to keep going. It also says “oh brother, brother” which feels like Skizz talking to any of his teammates to me)

Impulse—Allies or Enemies (Impulse has been very iffy on a lot of his alliances throughout the seasons, especially in third life and with the amount of playing all sides that man has done this songs feels right)

Cleo—The Glacier House (this. this is literally just her leaving Fairy Fort. The song is talking to/about her from probably Lizzie’s perspective, but like the last line is 100% as if Cleo was speaking)

Bdubs—Unraveling (Bdubs relies so heavily on his teammates, and when he doesn’t have that stability *cough* Etho *cough* he just kinda doesn’t know what to do so this song fits)

Mumbo—Keep You Safe (this man is by no means an aggressive/reckless player [see: Joel or Martyn] and he feels like he’s just here for the vibes and honestly? Love that for him. This song is about fear not keeping you safe and watching your friends run high risks, which just is very accurate to how Mumbo plays this series. I also feel like he could fit Rockslide when he goes red cause he goes from standstill to “drop dead sprint” in terms of aggression)

Lizzie—Shallow River/New Colors (Lizzie is the only one I put as two because both of these songs are just so fitting. Shallow river—“wasted all for the title, wasted all for the crown” reminds me of Lizzie trying to kill Scott and ending up dying herself instead. I also feel like parts of it could be dead Lizzie talking to Joel, the only person who is really mourning her. New Colors—“don't tell me that I can't, I need this“ and “I give up my air, to breathe” also feel very accurate with how she is trying so hard and just keeps failing )

Jimmy—Canary in a Coal Mine (no further context needed, we all know Timmy)

Scott—Little Soldiers (this is very flower husbands, but also just feels like Scott looking back on the last seasons including Pearl, Jimmy, Martyn, all his reluctant exes. Also this man is the watchers’ like least favorite person ever and this gives that vibe)

Pearl—Ribs (i changed this from New Discovery because Ribs is entirely about somewhat angrily protecting and helping yourself because nobody else would, and it really strikes me as Pearl with the some things having been good (Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss) and some being bad (divorce quartet))

BigB—Not the Ghost (this man is so incredibly odd, he just constantly feels like he is being haunted by the watchers and just going about his life, he is the human personification of gaslight and we love that for him)

Martyn—The Hand That Feeds (he HATES the watchers with every ounce of his being, and with Ren gone I think this guy’s only purpose is just to spite them)

Joel—Sleeping Giants (go listen to it. That’s all there is to it, it just feels very Joel-ish, this lad is absolutely fucking mental)

Ren—Once & for All (this song feels like war and being betrayed, and Ren has been betrayed so much so it just fits. I mean come on “my blood’s forever on your hands” tell me that isn’t 100% something Ren would say)

Gem—Show Your Fangs (Girlboss moment, we love Geminislay. This woman is not someone to be underestimated and this song very clearly says that so it’s very Gem in my head. She doesn’t have enough lore yet to make it angsty but ONE DAY)

Etho—Never Love An Anchor (I can’t explain it, this song just has Etho vibes. I mean “It’s a secret I keep tucked inside my chest” just seems very him, I can’t really tell you why)

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

(to the tune of Avril Lavigne's sk8terboi)

He was a human battering ram.

She was a recon sniper.

Can I make it any more obvious?

Headcannons - Fit for a King - König x fem!OC fanfic

Instead of making a y/n fic, I decided to create an original female character because I ususally write all of my stuff in POVs. Due to posting the chapters often right after I've written them some of the context and the characterization might not be explicit in every single piece, some of the information is only gonna get revealed down the road.

(TW: alcoholism, death, violence)

Karina Müller is almost 30 years old, she served in the Norwegian military from right after school until the death of her brother who was KIA on a mission together. She fell off the wagon after that, feeling responsible for his death and effectively being shunned by her family after that. Her pick of poison was alcohol and it got so bad that she more than once was drunk on the job which led to her getting kicked out.

The years after that she spent getting help, trying to get clean and going back to a civilian life, but the military was what she knew, so the civilian jobs didn't stick and she started to work as a mercenary, now a dry alcoholic. Which might be an issue for some contractors, but KorTac doesn't really bat an eye.

She's a compassionate person who loves to laugh, she's seen enough shit not to take any from her teammates and can stand her ground when faced with any challenge thrown her way. She's still working through some stuff, coming to terms with her past, but she has an optimistic spirit and a strong will.

Even though the Colonel seems scary at first, she learns pretty quickly that he is to be respected in training and on the battlefield, but on a personal level he's really not that bad. The 6'10'' killing machine, Austrian war criminal (insert "what murdeeer?!"-meme here) is quite an anxious person when it comes to basic human interaction.

Shouting orders at his team, stomping his enemies into the ground is more comfortable to him than just talking about mundane stuff with other people, he mostly keeps to himself (except for Horangi because that little shit would never leave him alone). And for the first time in a long time, Müller makes him wish that he could just go up to people and strike up a normal conversation like a normal person (don't we all).

König is 38 years old (we don't know his full name) and has the biggest metalhead dad vibes without actually having any children himself (his favourite band is Death, although he listens to a bunch of different ones, it's also their merch shirt Müller steals in "Are you wearing my t-shirt?").

When he started out in the military, he shaved his long metalhead hair off because that was the way to go back then, but he let it grow back when he was older and already Colonel. He has gauged ears and a plethora of tattoos all over his body because the soft pain of body modifications and working out until he almost passes out are his ways of dealing with his anxiety and stress. His body is a testament to that.

He has a huge scar on the right side of his face from when he got beaten to a pulp by his bullies at school, something he never let happen again after that (five on one was really unfair). His nose has been broken two times and sometimes his tattoos get destroyed by battle injuries, but he doesn't really care about that - or his looks in general. He's a soldier and not a model.

So the reason why he's always wearing the selfmade hood is not the scar. He prefers not to show his feelings to others, staying hidden underneath the mask for his own comfort, even if it makes him scarier also in situations where he doesn't want to be.

(CW: some nsfw headcannons ahead, talk about not wanting to have children) They're both switches, though König is leaning more on the Dom-side while Müller is a sub who likes to brat a little too much, just to see her man falter (for example when she calls him a good boy in random scene #1).

Müller is bisexual, something she discovered when serving in an all-women-taskforce of the Norwegian military (we don't really know about König's sexuality though). She decided a long time ago that she doesn't want to have children (she doesn't see herself leaving service again anytime soon and given her past, she doesn't see herself fit to become a mother), so she got her tubes tied. Which also comes in handy when a certain Colonel's favourite pasttime (well, actually second favourite) is leaving creampies inside her (no 'unexpected pregnancy' trope in this household).

König definitely eats pussy for his own pleasure, begging Müller to let him eat her out in "Sit" or losing a little friendly competition for a sexual favour in "But no funny business" (oh and he definitely steals her panties at any chance he gets). She's totally not opposed to servicing him as well, but the size of his dick makes this a whole endeavour (like seen in "Open wide, Prinzessin").

They match each other's energy pretty well, just going at it like rabbits at every chance they get, which sometimes proves to be difficult as they're sneaking around in secret.

Their arrangement is kind of a fuckbuddy/fwb-situation, they fuck hard and rough, without ever really kissing (the mask stays on), but after a while feelings start to get in the way... After all they do belong together <3

Read more at the Fit for a King - Masterlist or keep an eye out for the AO3 link - coming soon.

[queenendless]

CRIMSON

A/n: I legit don't know how to title this piece. Inspired by @xo-romiiarts and their artwork.

Also Guns for Hire by Woodkid fits this piece so listen to it while reading this or any song that gives dark!GoGe vibes.

CW ⚠️ : 4.7k worded piece with DARK MATURE themes/depictions of murder/genocide, teen dropouts/runaways, angst, hurt/comfort, romance/fluff, already established poly!teen!GoGe x fem!teen!curse seer!reader, set in an AU where the guys did go through with it ... you have been warned. ⚠️

Cause #261 and fanarts of Gojo saying yes to Geto have given me the push to finally get this out. I have been working on this since September of LAST YEAR SO I hope yall enjoy this.

And I'm working on a pt 2 to this set a few months to a year later of the aftermath. Cause Lord, Clan Head Gojo x Cult Leader Geto x Reader but they're dark now kinda I wanna explore in my own way. With them kids. Their kids. And scene.

*DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, COPY, EDIT, PLAGARIZE, AND OR STEAL MY FANFIC WORK. Rather if you enjoy my fan work, then reblog, like, comment, n follow pls n thnx u.

"You're late, Suguru."

Indeed he was.

"No … I guess you got here fast. There are several Star Religious Group facilities in the city, after all."

Something felt seriously off the moment the snowy-haired sorcerer raised his head.

"Satoru? Is that you?"

The look in his eyes … practically radiating their potent rebirth … a stark contrast to the fading scuffs of blood running down the left half of his face, down both sides of his mouth, weariness evident.

"What happened?"

This was not his Satoru. This one … had seen hell first hand. In a twisted way, they both have today. Literally at death's door.

"I see you already saw Shoko."

"Yeah, she healed me. I'm fine now."

And yet, a long sleeved uniform arm slipped out from under the sheet, swaying a bit til staying still as a lifeless corpse would be.

"No … me being safe doesn't help anything here."

Not when he failed to keep their promise to Riko-chan. She was ready to walk away from the merger with him. Choosing to live for herself rather than follow her pre-chosen fate. Yet, fate had other plans. A cruel one, at that.

"I screwed up. You're not at fault." Gojo sounded so blunt, so calm … willing to accept all the blame for their greatest failure yet.

"Let's head back."

An eerie ringing began penetrating Geto's hearing as the clapping kept going. He chalked that up as an explanation as to why he thought he misheard Gojo's next words.

"Suguru, should we kill these guys? The way I feel right now, I doubt I'd feel anything about it."

As the form of Gojo carrying Amanai's draped body was being overshadowed by the pure white radiance of the smiling clapping cultists, Geto's morality dilemma prodded his mind, unable to meet Gojo's gaze.

"No. There's no point. It looks like there are only common believers here. The masterminds who know about our world have probably fled already. And unlike with the bounty, they won't be able to talk their way out of this. The organization had problems to begin with. It'll be dissolved soon enough."

Geto, standing in the pure white room of morality, starkly contrasted Gojo as he brushed past him and stood in the crimson room of immorality.

"No point, huh? Does there really need to be any point to it?"

Does there need to be a rhyme or reason for them to act on this? Ideally yes. They may be above the laws in most cases, but even sorcerers can't enact vengeance on regular humans. Unless they were curse users or even like the Sorcerer Killer, they couldn't lay a hand on them.

Realistically?

Right now?

The clapping grew louder, mocking him. Antagonizing him.

Gleefully celebrating her death and their own damaged, traumatizing failure.

Geto's left hand curled into a fist.

His morals were conflicting with his personal feelings; his fist shaking in restrained emotion.

His almond eyes, weariness tainting his eyebags, finally looked up.

Out at the clapping, smiling crowd.

"It's very important that there is. Especially for a jujutsu sorcerer."

Even the cruelest scum of the Earth get away scot free, never facing retribution. Darkness grew underneath him, outstretched to reach their seemingly untouchable light, as his fractured moral code made way for his true inner self to finally show its true colors.

"But not us …"

Gojo stiffened. Slightly looking back over his shoulder, peering inside the open doorway, his radiating Six Eyes turned on at the darkened gaze of Geto's eyes slightly looking back in return.

"Not today."

Rage and distraught guides him.

He would right this wrong.

To the bloody damn end.

Now triggered by those firm, final words, Gojo's heightened state strengthened as he set Amanai's body down gently on the hallway floor, the anger he didn't feel on her behalf in his rematch against the fallen Zen'in man was finally making its appearance, intertwining with an unhinged drive for chaos in his blood as a twisted gleam overtook his lips.

Survival of the weakest. Discouragement of the strong. That's how society should be; one where jujutsu sorcerers protect non-sorcerers. That's what he always strived to uphold despite his inner demons. But now… they as sorcerers still failed in the end.

Riko-chan, Kuroi-san, the weak but good ones, now dead by the orchestration of these unforgivable heinous —

"Monkeys." Having seen that monkey assassin's standing corpse himself on his way inside; decimated and dripping with bloodied spilled guts, made Geto wish he could deal the killing blow himself back in Tengen's domain.

This would have to do, feeling ready to puke when he uttered the same word as that scarred mouthed bastard, wincing as the shadowed hole he summoned released his newest curse.

The same cursed worm draped over his shoulder, opening its mouth to pop out the handle of a cursed tool, one Geto pulled out as swiftly as Gojo began ascending to heights unbound, slicing the cursed energized blade through the air as tears sprung from his unforgiving dark eyes.

"DIE!"

Those monkeys' glee changed to confusion then bursting out in waves of panic as the blade grew in length the more Geto spread his cursed energy into it.

Several heads got sliced sideways, splattering blood over some's prime white apparel, kicking off the shrill hysterics.

In an instant, Gojo blips out of sight only to plow through a row of them scurrying ants in his way like the cursed speedster he had become.

Blown off head chunks.

Fists jutted right through their torsos right and outta their spines.

Setting off carnage filled piñatas left and right.

Trained on every weakling in his sight, Gojo's uniform grew darker as more blood seeped further in with each blow.

Reappearing as he grabbed a randomly chosen neck, snapping it in two with ease, before blocking a panicking one that tried socking him from behind, glowing eyes narrowed in as he clenched their fist before ripping their arm right off with swift ease. Their tortured screech is heard one moment, the sound of bones crunching in Gojo's other hand the next.

Through hatred fueled adrenaline, Geto cleaved in them guts to match the mutilated limbs that rolled across the crimson spreaded floor.

Those attempting to flee were squandered as the force field of Limitless smooshed them, splattering the now cracked dented walls; minced red.

Many more sunken noggins soared in the air, sprinkling red from on high.

Screams and splatters became the symphony of Pandemonium.

Flinging the chain around the neck of one, Geto swung them like a chain and ball, crushing many others against the walls.

Those petrified hideous faces get their brains ruptured out; globby chunks vomiting out by mere cursed thought.

Many rammed right into the glass window ceiling, sending cracks racing in its wake, the pure white sunlight becoming a neon red.

Shards of glass rained down, deflected by Limitless as the pair found themselves back to back, watching with callousness as many were skewered like porcupines.

Limbless lumps of lifeless flesh plastered every inch of the once pristine interior from every wall, crevice, and even the ceiling had scarlet drenching it.

Their haggard breaths and sweaty burning faces aside, their dark craving for retribution still lingered in them both.

It wouldn't be enough.

Not until every last member was eviscerated.

Dismissing the worm, Geto scanned the room, trembling at the grotesque aftermath.

His cerise painted hands hung limply at his sides.

Amiss the madness, their residuals were there.

Fortunately they knew to an extent how to hide them. However long those held out, they couldn't waste a moment. Any longer than that spent here meant capture followed by immediate execution.

Feeling himself moving by a firm grasp tugging on his hand, his light headed state transitioned to a frigged one over what they had just committed. The solid squeeze of Gojo's sizzling hand helped pull him further out of his own unsteady mindset.

"Satoru …" He internally felt revolted at having those monkeys wretched blood covering his skin.

"Suguru."

Through the path of red, his closest friend – his ally in genocide – turned to him with cherry-red streaking his unbuttoned jacket and the collared white undershirt, for his glowing – exhausted – eyes were scarred with the brutal truth. Reaching his stained, steadfast hands out for that stained lost face, Gojo rested his forehead against Geto’s, staring into those stricken eyes of one of his most greatest treasures.

"Come with me. Let's get away.”

Blood trickled down from the ceiling, spilling along their hair, staining their faces, but both couldn't care less as they sealed it with a kiss. Lost in the bloody euphoria, relishing in one another's warmth.

The new taste of searing iron overtook the repelling flavor of cursed spirits, overwhelming the pair as Geto clawed at Gojo's back and the latter's hands massaged the former's supple cheeks, bringing muffled moans outta them both.

It feels right … anywhere … as long as it's with each other. It's just right.

Wherever they end up, whatever it may be, may it be nowhere near here whenever whichever sorcerers would be sent to investigate this now scene of massacre.

Once partners in sorcery.

Now partners in crime.

What a send off for them, the newly dropouts.

The clapping halted.

The ringing faded.

Their hearts felt lighter.

But something still felt off.

Someone was missing.

"Y/n." Geto's eyes opened to stare into Gojo's as they parted lips. "We can't leave her behind … we can't …"

Knowing their cursed seer partner probably foresaw the bloody chain of events that had recently just transpired in the last few hours. But knowing how abrupt they can be, maintaining and willing them into your mind’s eye was still a burdening struggle, ergo you being left behind at school for tiring training.

The heavy fog of bloodlust and tension between them lifted for now Geto's eyes lightened at sensing that familiar presence. He knew Gojo sensed it as well, for his glowing eyes followed his lead, taking Riko back in his arms, the duo raced to the surface outside.

You had ran outta the car that dropped you off down the street. You gulped to stifle back the bile at the gory sight of the fallen Zen’in still standing; the bloody puddle reaching for you now.

Your gaze averted once you spotted them coming out, hurrying over, your stomach churning at how scrapped up and red they appeared, but your empathy outweighed the disgust as Geto caught you in his heavy weighted grasp.

The fear in Geto's eyes mingled with confusion and concern. "Y/n … I … we –!”

Gojo’s eyes slanted as you kept your face hidden. "Did you get a vision?”

Your shaky nod against Geto’s chest paired with your ashamed tone. “I was too late … I,” An anxious pause of silence stretched between you three. “Shoko told me where you were headed after healing you … then came another one … of course you two would get Riko’s body back …”

They waited for the heart shattering blow. The final nail in the coffin. You shunning them away, cutting ties immediately. Rejecting them for their heinous act. Fleeing away in horror to Jujutsu High, reporting their sorry asses and ousting them as traitors. All the above — !

“The system would have let these zealots slip through the cracks. They … their assassin … they all deserve to rot in hell for what they've done … all because of Tengen … Kuroi and Amanai have been avenged.” Your callous tone kinda threw them off a tad bit.

Geto gulped. “You … You're okay with it?”

Your head finally rose up, the glossy layer to those e/c eyes sparkled from the sliver of sunset. "I know I can't make up for letting you all down … and no amount of apologies can redeem my blunder … but I can do this at least. I'll bring her back to the school, back to Kuroi-san. They deserve to be laid to rest together.”

You reluctantly pull away from Geto’s warmth; uncaring about the red stains smearing your clothes now, to take the wrapped up body as Gojo gently passes her into your arms, melancholy heavy on your face but the strength of resolve aiding you in carrying her. “My place is with you two. Always. Now more than ever.”

Geto’s eyes pricked with burning warmth; your willingness to stay despite everything, as he kissed your temple. “We should be apologizing to you.”

“There's still more of those facilities in the city left standing. We're not finished just yet.” Gojo's voice spoke doom for their upcoming targets, a stark contrast to his own kiss to your forehead being so sweet.

“They all need to go. Every single one of them.” Geto clenched his veiny hands, determined to see this through to the end. “We will return for you. If you wouldn't mind packing our things for us by the time we show up …”

You nodded, sadly smiling. "Don't keep me waiting too long.”

Their brisk nods to you paired with smooches to your cheeks were all you were given before you watched them holding hands then warping away.

The driver stayed silent as they drove your contemplative self, keeping her cold self close to your warmth, back to school for the last time.

°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•°•○•°°•○•

The sun had set.

Crimson painted the sky.

A young girl's life ended by a gunshot to the head.

Two young teens, forced to face the cruel reality of their lives through near death.

The Star Religious Group Headquarters.

House of the Children of the Star.

Their monotheistic religion spent worshiping their absolute God; Tengen.

Crossing the wrong sorcerers, nearly costing them their lives in the process at the hands of their hired assassin; the Zen'in clan failure.

Their facilities left as ruins scattered in ruble, collapsed craters layering the grounds, red painting the toppled stone and marble.

The trauma of near death, failing to keep their promises to protect their friends' lives, and losing to a physically gifted human … their pride as the strongest duo now tarnished.

Retribution.

Selfish desires made to fruition.

With Riko-chan now gone, the assimilation was now void.

Tengen-sama had evolved.

The barrier hiding the school's location was weakened and easily spotted by the Six Eyes.

You solo carried Riko to the morgue, spotting your senpai and fellow kouhai watching you from the distance, ignoring your driver hurriedly running to inform Yaga-sensei of the turn of events, but only making eye contact with Shoko as she was standing out front by the entrance, already expecting you, prepared for the worst.

You two stayed silent, understanding exactly just from seeing the acceptance in your gaze.

Seeing the covered bodies laying side by side on the tables, you prayed over the mother daughter pair, believing the guys would stop by to do the same, hopefully.

As you just finished zipping up one of three duffle bags meant for each of you in your room, you felt the ripples through the Force that is cursed energy.

The fuse was lit. The air pricked with sparks as those two set off a chain reaction.

You could visualize the facilities up in flames.

“You really are idiots.” Shoko leaned against the open doorway, smoke in her disapproving frown. “To think they'd go this far … and you're bailing with them.”

“My whole world ended when I lost my mom. My dad was a broke ass deadbeat. Then I was discovered, brought here and met you all. You became the family I needed … so I thought that was enough. But those two … they're my everything. We ride or die together. You can join us or stay here. That goes for you two as well, ya know.”

You felt Haibara and Nanami hiding behind the wall before joining Shoko in the sliding doorway. By the looks on their faces, the news spread like wildfire.

“If I go with you guys, then the higher ups will force my sister to take my place.” Haibara frowned at the guilty truth.

“Rules and regulations keep us in line, as much as they suck.” Nanami sulked.

“Those old cods view us all as disposable tools. We're not heroes. We have our own ideals, desires, lives even. And if it means I may die down the line because I choose to walk away, then I'd rather die with freedom than serve them as their obedient lapdog.” You spoke devotedly.

“I don't get it.” The blunt tone and her aversion to eye contact made you realize how left out Shoko still felt that her two crazy guy friends were willing to leave them – leave her – behind.

“It'd be nice to have you by our side Ieiri … but I know you still have Utahime to consider.” You grinned at seeing the tiny pink tinted rise to her cheeks.

“You're our classmates! To have you and our senpai be branded as curse users, I don't want to have to fight you guys!” Haibara's angry tears made your heart waver. Your own eyes burned with cursed energy.

The static film reel of seeing your guys getting savagely brutalized, Riko and Kuroi's murders, even further down the line … glimpsing Haibara scarred and pale and so damn still —

“You're still our friends. Always.”

Even with glistening chibi eyes and stubbornly pursed lips, Haibara realized you had made up your mind, reaching Nanami's hand to squeeze and be his anchor.

“It's not a crime to be a kid, but the accumulation of life's little despairs make you become an adult. Remember that.” Nanami understood that much, knowing the guys are capable of setting the world on fire when pushed too far. Like so.

Blinking back tears yourself, you nodded. “If you ever need us or change your mind, you know how to reach us.”

Throwing the duffle bags outta the window before jumping out yourself took them all by surprise. Jutting their heads out, they were relieved yet anxious spotting Geto's manta ray cursed spirit flying away, the bags and you safe across his lap and wrapped up in his arms.

His crestfallen gaze back at them was the last sight of him they received when they also spotted Gojo floating on high, gazing at them with melancholy, the living example of Nanami's parting words to you.

Knowing deep in your intuition they snuck into the morgue to pay their final respects to Riko and Kuroi before retrieving you, you kept quiet about it, trusting them wholly to catch you as well.

On that day, everything changed.

On that night, there was no turning back.

But to both yours and Geto's surprise, the boldness of Gojo as he landed right by you both on the manta ray and grasped Geto's shoulder, his suggestion for a hideaway took your breaths away.

The empty private home – one of quite many – belonging to his family's clan; this one gifted solely to him. Even as fugitives, making such a bold choice to hide there, Gojo sure is a wild child.

Wading in the waters of the giant tub to wash away the blood, flushing the pink tinted liquid down the drain, then filling up the tub once more made way for some scented oil that helped elevate the tranquil vibes.

“You're certain?” Geto scrubbed his shoulder length sudsy hair, brushing his wet locks.

“The clan has too many spots all over Japan. We crash here tonight, take what we can to sell for cash in case the geezers fry our bank accounts, then high tail someplace new. Like say, I don't know, overseas?” Gojo's lax assurance transformed him into a chibi in Geto's point of view; resting his head and arms back against the tub's rim.

Almond eyes darkened, catching the scar stretching from Gojo's lithe neck, across that toned chest, and stopping by his hip poking out of the bubbly water.

Exhaustion smeared with piqued intrigue and guilt in those blue eyes spotting the X shaped scar on Geto's sculpted chest.

Red tints colored their faces as pleased sighs left their lips at the warm water loosening up their stiff muscles, fingers weaving through each other's slick hair, bringing their faces closer, brown meeting blue as they stared longingly at each other.

The unique connection ergo magnetic attraction was evident. From clashing freshmen to still bickering but budding sophomores. And now, as fresh genocidal dropouts, they both looked like they aged a lot.

The contrasts, the similarities, their yin yang dynamic.

That and the fuzzy warmth was getting to them.

“I'm really glad you're alive.” Geto nuzzled his nose against Gojo's.

“RCT for the win.” That albino pecked the corner mouth of his raven.

Their tired giggles relieved the tension.

Brushing their bare dripping shoulders together, lips connected, initiating timid soft touches. Drool connected their heated tongues, their heated breath fanning one another's face, oh so close, wanting more.

Your hums of content grabbed their attention as you waded over to them, watching your round cheeks blowing soapy bubbles into their faces.

Running your hands down their scars made your lips tremble at the agony they went through. Entrapped in their arms, you hummed as their lithe hands caressed your supple smooth skin for they were touched by your gingerly layered kisses along their tender marked flesh.

Toru's yawning broke out, worrying you and Sugu who suggested you all start drying up. Toru was the most exhausted being actively awake using Six Eyes for 3 days straight.

But you all were, mentally and emotionally.

The electric dryer rumbled as your wet uniforms swirled within. The AC hummed in the backdrop.

Duffle bags left open as you three laid in the enormous bed, you three snuggled in close on the center.

Setting up a small simple altar in honor of Riko and Kuroi in the room gave you all some peace of mind, especially when burning some smoky incense to cleanse the place. To pray and hope that their souls were in a better place than the hell they're stuck on called Earth.

“I detest humanity. Swallowing cursed spirits made from the worst parts of their very existence for so long confirms that. Killing those cultists put my mind at ease … as horrible as that must be to you.” Suguru's weary gaze shifted to meet Satoru's now unsettlingly calm ones as they laid atop the bed beside each other, clad in just boxers, with you splayed across Satoru wearing just a large tee you all shared just cause.

“You've been feeling this way for a long time, then.” Suguru flushed as Satoru weaved his hand through those silky obsidian strands, free from the metaphorical shackles of his usual restrained bun. “I'm sorry I didn't realize it.”

Suguru's cheek nuzzled his wrist, breathing in Satoru’s cozy scent. “I never wanted you to. Or anyone for that matter. These are my own feelings to grapple with.”

Satoru's messy cat hair shook, tickling Suguru's face, closing his stinging eyes to let them rest for the moment as their foreheads touched. “Well, now, we'll carry that burden together.”

“We're branded as curse users now … we're on our own from here … and you're fine with that?” Sugu was skeptical for the most part.

“I never held hatred for anybody before … not even over Amanai's death … but I always knew my life would be spent as a living weapon for jujutsu society … a monster. And now that I've crossed the line … there's no coming back from that … but I'd do it all again …if it mended the pain you felt inside. I just … I don't want you suffering in silence anymore. I never want to leave you behind.” That soothing voice of his cracked.

Suguru was breathless seeing red in those reopened agonized eyes.

“Still … I took advantage of your heightened state and let my emotions cloud my judgment. I'm supposed to be the moral compass … yet I'm no better than those monkeys … and you nearly died because of them … I'm sorry Satoru … I'm so sorry.” Water hit Toru’s skin as the choked up weeping of his best friend smothered his shoulder.

“Hey, hey. I'm here, aren't I?” Keeping an arm wrapped around his partner, Satoru smooched the crown of Suguru's precious noggin, being tickled by those loose bangs in the face, shushing him and kissing that pierced ear of his. “And even you need to cut yourself some slack and lean on others too, ya know. And realize … you can't get rid of me that easily. You're stuck with this monster for a long time, Suguru~”

That possessive, enamored voice compelled Suguru to peak out and witness those lovesick eyes; the polar opposite to the tunnel vision of the reawakened Satoru Gojo that approached him with Riko-chan in his arms, struck right at his core.

The soft warm lamp on the side table paired with the sliver of moonlight between the curtains transformed their eyes into mini galaxies. Their own universe even to dwell in and share together.

“Hmm.” He brushed back Satoru's locks to spot the scar on his forehead and kiss that booboo. “You've never been a monster to me. Just a goofy idiot.”

Elated chuckles hit his giant lobed ears as his resident goofball pecked his blushing nose. “Your goofy idiot, smart ass.”

“Awwww~”

Flinching at that familiar voice, the guys directed their flushed gazes to you; your cheek mushed against Toru's pillow chest, fawning over them with your e/c eyes, round with sparkles and hearts set a glow in ‘em.

“I agree with all the above. Don't mind me. Just get it on with the yaoi goodness.”

“How subtle.” Suguru's eyes crinkled with mirth.

“She's got good taste, though.” Satoru's feline grin followed, rolling you both over to smush you in between them, pecking your forehead. “Period.”

You frowned. “All the apologies in the world can't make up for me letting you two down today.”

“Nonsense.” Suguru disagreed as the back of your head cushioned in between his plush pecs. “Having you here with us makes this shitty day much better.”

“We all screwed up.” Gojo griped before it became a longer deeper yawn.

Your eyes glowed a moment before dying down, alerting them and reminding you. “Time for you to sleep. Cause we got a lot of shit to think over on how to move forward. For all of us.” His exasperated sigh was met by your chaste lips as you leaned up to kiss him; him returning it to suck them up.

“Yes ma'am.” His pouting turned to a dopey grin; growing wider when Suguru kissed him goodnight too. That finally conked him out, breathing softly, when Suguru's hand wrapped around your side, turning you to lay on your back so he could see you properly; eyes clad in guilt of his own.

“Y/n, in no way should you feel responsible for what happened. That assassin would have killed you too if you had gotten involved. If we lost you as well …” His forehead met yours, letting you kiss him slowly, pulling him in to relish your personal taste. “My hope is that they're in a better place now.”

“Me too … My visions are just as much an omen as they are an aid. In this world there are no guarantees for a peaceful living … but I believe in you two … no matter what … and I know in my heart this is worth it, risks and all.”

Your honest smile made him grateful for accepting him, despite all that's happened, his tears hitting your face in response so you kissed his tears away.

“Thank you, Y/n.” His whispers met your lips as you two got caught up in another kiss when you two grunted in surprise as Satoru flipped you both over, smothering you two under his precious heat.

“‘M love you both, mmh so much.” He mewled, sleepy eyes peeking open to drowsily smile down at you two.

“Satoru, we can't breathe.” A red faced Suguru wheezed out.

Satoru languidly laughed, “My bad.”

Thankfully, you three were able to get some shuteye that night.

They're your whole world now.

Deep down inside, they know they're both monsters, for that day brought the truth to light of their dark potential.

But they're your monsters.

Your empathetic, devious, passionate monsters.

And as far as the truth goes, you too are just the same.

Three of a kind, indeed.

[itsohh]

141 Leaving their partner to keep them safe

A/N: G/N reader, this was inspired by Eyes Without a Face by Billy Idol which I've been listening to repeat for like an hour. Such a vibe.

Warnings: Angst

Masterlist

Gaz

It had been a decision that had kept him up for nights. One her eventually went to Price about. "You have to do what you think is right Gaz. This isn't a decision I can make for you." John has told him, face soft with pity. He didn't envy the position Kyle was in.

So he took you out, gave you the best night he possibly could. On the now dark beach he took your hand, sat down the pair of you on a public chair. The roar of waves in the background. "I wanted to do everything I possibly could with you tonight." He swallowed and let out a deep breath.

"Kyle? Is everything alright." He couldn't look at you, couldn't look at those eyes of yours.

"I won't be able to see you anymore."

"You- huh? What do you mean?"

"I'm breaking up with you. You're a distraction at work, I can't focus when I'm thinking about you." His words had a sliver of truth to them, yes you distracted him sometimes but it was never a problem. It was never something he couldn't control. The real reason had been an attack on a number of SAS operatives' families. Leaked files that had compromised a number of people. Some had died. Kyle hadn't been compromised or had his file leaked but it was still a very real threat.

It has put his entire life into a new perspective.

Eventually he made up his mind. "It's not your fault, I don't think I can be in a relationship at all. It isn't a fit with my life anymore, I'm sorry."

"I... see." You looked over to the ocean. "I thought tonight you were going to… I don't know what I thought tonight was going to be. Not this. I hope your career works out well for you." Your voice went from broken to stoic. Almost emotionless. Kyle wanted to comfort you, to hold you close but he didn't. It wouldn't help you, it would only help him. Kyle knew he had been selfish enough that night.

So Kyle watched as you got up from the public chair. "You can get your stuff from my house tomorrow when I'm at work. I don't want it." From stoic to angry.

"Let me take you home, it's late."

"Piss off Kyle. I'll get an uber. You worry about where you're spending the night." There was an anger that bubbled in your chest, hand clenched. Despite your anger directed to him, it was more at yourself. That you ever thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with you.

Without looking at him you started to walk off, a mutter beneath your breath. "I hate the fucking beach."

Ghost

A single picture. One you would never know about. It was of you, a smile on your face as you candidly looked to the side. You had been drawing the curtains closed. A picture that you never knew and would never know was taken.

A single picture that had been sent to Ghost.

A single picture that had made him make up his mind.

Ghost had made sure to clean out all evidence of himself from your house while you were out shopping. That day he helped you unpacked. A smile had been plastered from one side of your face to the other. You had been so happy for his return, so happy to see him again. "I don't love you anymore." He had said those words when you sat down on the couch next to him. For a second you thought it was just a cruel joke. But you searched his eyes, searched that masked face of his.

"What?"

"Nothing more to it." He stood up from the couch and you jumped up after him.

"Is there someone else?"

"No, there's nothing that happened. Don't overthink it. People fall out of love sometimes."

"Can I do something to make you fall back in love? We can get through this, this doesn't have to be the end of the road. Simon if your scared if we are going too fast or-"

"-No. Nothing you say will change this." His movements were rigid, tense as he walked towards the door. Ready to vanish into the night to never be seen again.

"Simon-" Your bottom lip quivered and your eyes were big while you started at the back of his head.

"Don't call me that. Find someone that can love you the way you love me, because I can't."

Price

It had been a month. A month since work had been brought home. Back on your feet, the bruises had faded. Wrapped up on the couch a figure moved in the corner of your eye. "John?" No answer. You frowned and pushed the blankets off your body. The cool air hit your legs and you shuffled towards his figure. You could have sworn you heard the small click of the front door opening. 

"John?" He froze with his hand on the door, a bag slung over his shoulder. "Do you have another mission? I suppose I can't keep you here all the time." You smiled and he nodded. He returned the smile but there was something in his eyes. A sadness, a deep sadness. "Do you know when you will be back?"

"No." His eyes broke eye contact. "Let me go out this in the car and I'll be back to say goodbye." Before you could open your mouth he had pushed open the door and disappeared. 

True to his word he came back to the front door and opened his arms wide, welcoming you into him as he usually did. You hurried your face into his chest and your hands practically clawed into his shirt. A gentle kiss blessed the top of your head. 

Slowly you pulled back from him, eyes glazed as you looked into his. "You're not coming back are you?" 

He froze and his face turned into one of pity. "You always were a smart thing." His head gently started to stroke your hair. 

"Was it something I did John? Is there something that I didn't do? Is there-"

"-Shh shhh, I promise you. It was nothing you did. It's not you. You're perfect, too perfect for me. But I have to focus on work."

"John no please- don't-." You choked on your words, a sob ripped from your as you buried your face back into his chest. 

"I'm so sorry. Shhh shhh. Everything will be okay. You still have your whole life ahead of you."

"But I don't want that without you John please don't leave. I love you please, please, please, I love you so much I'll do anything please John." Your begs were interpreted as he grasped both sides of your face with his hands. His brows were furrowed and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. 

His lips pressed against yours only for a moment. "I love you too sweetheart. Please don't make this harder. I have to do what I have to do."

"John." He let go of you and started to turn but you grabbed his arm. "John please."

His shoulders tensed and his breath frosted in the cold air. John didn't try to pull from you, he didn't say a word yet the request to let go was loud in the air. 

"I love you John. I'll never forget about you."

"Forget about me. Please, it would be kinder."

"John!" You let go of his arm and sunk to your knees, watching him go. 

Soap

Graves's words rung in his head. Even after his death, the man still managed to make his life a living hell. "Heard you got a sweetheart back at home McTavish." If he hadn't been in the middle of throwing out the C4 there was a very real possibility that Graves's words would have made him freeze.

"Perhaps when I'm done here I'll go show them what a real man is. A real soldier. Perhaps be their shoulder to cry on. Then the second they get over you- make them mine. Will never think about your sorry ass again."

That final C4 has really made it truly satisfying to wipe whatever smirk that was on his face into smithereens.

The more Soap thought about it though, the more it worried him. If Graves knew you were existed then who else did? What if Shepard wanted to use you against him? What if someone else turned?

He could let that happen to you. At the same time, Johnny was scare. Terrified, he couldn't face breaking your heart. As much as he thought you deserved to be told face to face, he couldn't. "I'm a fucking coward." He hissed to himself, his handwriting messy as he finished scribbling down the piss poor excuse of a break up.

You were so peaceful in your once shared bed. Content. A mood that would drastically change at your wake. When you would find him long gone. Only a note for an excuse. Johnny taped the small note to his pillow and made the bed. You stired a little in the bed but didnt wake from your deep sleep.

In a moment of weakness, Johnny sat down on the bed. He lay down backwards so his head was on your chest. Eyes closed he could almost imagine the way your hands would thread through his hair. He could almost imagine that laughter that he would never hear again. "I love you." A small whiper into the darkness. With a deep breath he slowly moved forward. Still so peaceful asleep, he left, a final glance at the doorway.

[allllium]

Heyaaa, I have a request! If it's not too much trouble, have you listened to too sweet by Hozier.. that song with the tf 141 boys (if it could be Ghost, it would be great!!)

Thanks in advance!!! And it's perfectly fine if you don't wanna!

Too Sweet for Me

~ I'm really sorry this took so long, I have not been feeling great but here it is. I hope you like this because honestly I am terrible at comprehending songs but I think this fits pretty well :)

~ If you're not happy with this for any reason please let me know and I will happily redo it with your advice <3

~ Fluff, WC: 1,189

~ Ghost seems to think you're too sweet for him

You have a crush on Simon Riley. You know this, and so does everyone else, including him. Despite the very obvious adoration on your part he's never said anything about it.

You honestly have no idea how he feels about you and you're not sure you want to know. You do tons of little things for him and he does things for you, but that's all your relationship entails.

You are both so different it's not like you could ever fit together so perfectly, right?

I take my whiskey neat

“Here you are Lt.” You slide him a drink across the table. He makes a face behind his mask that you now recognize as his scowl. “Don't make that face at me.”

“You can't even see my face,” he replies, in his signature thick accent. “And I don't need you buying me drinks.”

“Well that's too bad 'cause’ I did. Don't tell me you're gonna let good whiskey go to waste.”

His deep brown eyes stare at you for a heavy moment before picking up the drink, lifting his mask just enough to show his cut jaw and full lips.

“Usually this is where I get a thank you.” You taunt him, trying not to let your gaze linger on what you can see of his perfect but slightly messed up face.

“Don't push your luck, Sargent.”

My coffee black…

“Oh dark like your soul, ain't that right Lt.” You gesture towards his black mug of black coffee.

Simon takes a deep breath as he takes in your words, his chest rising and falling in annoyance. He shakes his head silently, apparently not wanting to pleasure you with a response.

“Seriously, how do you drink that?” You put your hand on his perfect arm to push him out of the way of the coffee pot.

“Oh let me guess you take your coffee with a pound of sugar.” He rolls his eyes at you, in more of an attitude than you appreciate.

“Incorrect. I'm sweet enough as it is.” You smile at him while you turn around to stir your drink.

“Maybe a little too sweet don't you think?”

“Only to you.” You mutter under your breath.

…And my bed at three

“Oi Lt, what are you doing up at this hour?” You take amusement at the way this giant of a man jumps slightly at your voice.

“Did you just say oi?” He asks as if he didn't just hear you say it.

“Yes I did, do we need to get your hearing checked?” You make fun of him for the hundredth time that day.

“Why?” His gruff voice cuts through the air.

“I want it on record that I don't appreciate this attitude of yours. And I said "oi” because I'm becoming more like you.”

“I don't say oi.”

“I don't believe you. You sound like you say it.” You shrug and take a seat on the couch next to you.

“What does that mean?” He sits down next to you but he seems like he doesn't want a real answer.

“Your voice.”

“What's wrong with my voice?” This time it seems like he actually wants to know what you think.

“Oh nothing. It's a nice voice but it just gives me oi vibes.” He stares at you like you're crazy.

“I have a nice voice do I?”

“Don't let it get to your head.” You lay your head.on his shoulder.

No one speaks for a while but eventually Simon sits up. “It's three in the morning, we should get to bed.”

“Yeah that's probably smart.” You give him a big smile when you stand up. “Goodnight Lt.”

You're too sweet for me

“And here you are.” You take a dramatic bow as you hand Simon his gift, acting as if you just delivered the most important thing in the world.

“What is this?” He asks with a tone of impatientence.

“A gift.”

“It's not a holiday-” You quickly cut him off.

“Or your birthday I know, but I remember you saying something about it and got it for you”

“How do you know it's not my birthday, I've never told you that.” He pauses for a split second before continuing, “Did you look at my files?”

“That's not important, open your gift.” He shakes his head but opens the bag you've given him.

Quickly, he pulls out a mask just like the one he's currently wearing. A mask you've handmade just for him.

“What is this?” He instantly demands.

“That is what we call a mask sir. I remember you told me about that one having an annoying hole so I thought I'd help you out. Originally I was just gonna patch the hole but then I figured that mask has been through a lot so you deserved a new one.”

He loudly clears his throat. “I hope you know there won't be a gift in return.”

“I don't expect one, simply doing a nice thing.”

“Well thank you Sargent.” You smile at his thanks, feeling how much he means it.

“Anytime.” Is the only word you get in before he runs off.

You're too sweet for me

“You know this is basically our third date.” You randomly blurt out. You're sitting with Simon in a coffee shop off base. You don't know what you were expecting with Simon off base but one thing you never thought about when inviting him out is his absence of the mask.

Obviously wearing it would draw more attention than usual but now you're sitting straight across from the face of the man you're practically fawning over.

“This is not a date.” He defends roughly.

“Yes it is, our first was dinner and second was the bar so that makes this the third.”

“Those weren't dates, just outings between friends.” He runs his eyes everywhere but your face.

“Aww so you admit we're friends.” You can't help but tease. “But I'm being serious Simon. You can't deny it forever.”

“Yes I can.” He fiddles with his drink as you continue your mini interrogation.

“No you can't. I know you like me, Lt. Why won't you say it.”

“You're different.” He begins.

“If you start to say I'm dumb you're getting punched.”

“No! Of course not. You're different from me and I don't know if we would work.”

“Bullshit. Spill it.”

“Fine, you're too sweet.” He spits out as if it was fire coming out.

You can't help the bubbling laugh that spills out your mouth. “Too sweet? What does that even mean?” You ask him, still laughing.

“I don't know. You're too sweet to me, you give me things and you say all the right things and I don't think I could give all that back to you.”

‘I don't want you to give me anything back. I want you to give me you, you're too sweet for me too Lt. Even if it is in a different looking way.” You slide your hand across the table to lay on his. He returns your hold and gives you a smile that is uniquely his. This is all you need.

[nectardaddy]

notebook paper | hinata shoyo

chapter seventeen | doomed [ ✎ ]

masterlist

no smau parts in this one, she's long.

cw/notes: HURT/COMFORT IM SORRY, metaphor using choking, once again that feeling when the stress hits you all at once (but more like feelings this time), feelings of inadequacy, repetition used on purpose, (heavy) drinking, I haven't added music to any other chapters, but take a listen to what's up I've listened to it for every chapter thus far and I think it fits the vibe of everything.

Happiness. Always fleeting, and always coming and going, the eb and flow reckless and disorderly. Thrashing her, yanking her down, and spitting her back out. A, rather silly, concept to her through years of grit, and a semester taking her by the throat and squeezing. Choking and heaving for just a singular breath of air, chest tight and lungs burning from a work load that weighed on her and a painted on smile.

It was her job to be happy - to be ok. To bring joy to other students, all the while she crumbled. She opted to spilling her guts when the door slammed shut to her room, only to wipe her eyes and continue on like nothing ever happened; to work as if she hadn't broke down completely - if she ignored it long enough it would go away.

So a part of her slipped, and fell hard, when she caught herself thinking about the man; ginger hair and brown eyes wedging their way into her life easily. Slender fingers taking a hammer to walls she had built up and swinging, allowing the crash to happen right in front of her eyes with baited breath, all the while he didn't realize it. Fuck, it felt good.

Maybe it was the way he looked at her, eyes widening every time like she was the only person in the world that ever mattered. Or it was the fleeting touches always filled with care, possibly even the way he kissed her. Unraveling herself completely every time his lips brushed over hers, because, how was it possible to convey such adoration through an action like that? She was utterly doomed.

Doomed when she danced with him, strong hands taking her own and spinning her only to pull her closer to him after. A drunken grin upon his lips that made her weak, scraping her knees raw, in that moment, with how hard she fell for him. Doomed when, shot after shot after drink after drink, he was all she could think about that night despite the haze in her mind.

She almost lost her breath when she felt his hand on the middle of her back, "I'll be right back. I promise." A reassurance before he stepped away, losing himself in a crowd of people at a house party.

"He's obsessed with you, y'know that, right?" She turned her head to look at the woman beside her. Not realizing Kiyoko had found her within the sea of people, she took a small breath.

"I know."

"You're obsessed with him too."

"I know."

"You should date him then."

A pause. Drunken thoughts came and went, desperately trying to piece together a response - but nothing came. Beer and liquor heightening her emotions she felt herself slip further, so she didn't realize the tears that slipped down her cheeks. A bad drinking habit of the woman - crying. Always finding herself pouring herself out completely when only nudged by alcohol; she would always throw herself off the cliff of her sentiments.

Kiyoko called her name once, and again, until finally taking her hand. "Let's go outside."

Everything around her was hot and sticky, a humidity that hung in the air from sweat and liquor; one of the many downsides of house parties in general. And her skin felt scorched against Kiyoko's cold hand, but nonetheless, she followed. "But Sho-"

"I'll text Suga to tell him where we are." She nodded and didn't question anymore.

Drunk and crying. Embarrassing, she told herself. But the outdoors felt nice as soon as it washed over her, fresh air hitting her in a wave once the door was opened and she was pulled out. Following behind the other woman, head spinning and steps haphazard, drunk out of her mind. Kiyoko sat down on the curb, so did she.

Letting go, her tears didn't stop. Streaming down her face, cheeks hot from liquor and head reeling from overstimulation of feelings, she caught her breath with a sharp inhale before letting a sob rack her body. "What the fuck is wrong with me, Kiyoko?" Speak slurred through distressed cries and inebriation. "Why can't I let myself be happy? He makes me happy, why can't I just let myself be happy and date him?"

She took a breath and looked up from her phone with worried eyes, sending a text to Suga quickly before pulling her into a hug. Met with silence, because what should someone say to another pouring their heart out? The two women remained like that as moments passed, Kiyoko allowing the woman to wet her shoulder with tears, holding her like her life depended on it. The other, wearing her heart on her sleeve, intoxicated, and fully allowing herself to feel the feelings she pushed down for the man.

But there was a door slam, cursing, and loud steps taken on tentative feet that pulled both of their attention. Blurry, wet eyes looking up to see the cause of such an outburst; thinking to herself that she didn't want to be labeled as "that drunk crying girl" if anyone else were to see her.

Hinata Shoyo.

She almost let out a sad, drunken laugh at him, even despite her situation. Belligerently drunk, tripping over himself, but running to her regardless. A lovesick fool, sprinting to see what on earth was wrong as soon as the text 'yn is crying outside' hit his notifications.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Stumbling over words as he reached her, out of breath, and putting his hands on his knees. Brown eyes swimming with concern, flickering his gaze between her and Kiyoko.

Maybe it was the way he looked at her, panic written on his features, and racking his brain for how to fix the situation. To see the smile that made his heart melt every time he saw it. Or it could've been when he sat down with her, taking Kiyoko's place, as to give them space, and gave her a drunken, sad smile. Possibly even the way he wrapped his arms around her without question, letting her cry without a second thought because it was what she needed. Allowing him to share the space with her, moments passed as all she could do was cry, and he held her regardless.

He felt his heart chip and shatter as she looked over to him, tear stained cheeks searing into his mind - an image that shook him to his core. "What's wrong?" Asking again as she took a deep breath, tears slowing now that the moment had passed.

"I really like you and I'm scared of how happy you make me. It terrifies me to think you'll leave when you realize I'm not worth it."

Another pause. Brown eyes flickering over every feature of her face, a drunk mind trying to decipher what to say. But he smiled, regardless of the woozy feeling of falling deeper and deeper.

"You're worth everything. I think you're stuck with me."

I SOBBED writing this

it's ok to not be ok sometimes <3 you're allowed to feel your feelings

next chapter is the last one and I'm going to ugly cry when it's over

taglist under cut

@muyyie @wyrcan @eggyrocks @eclecticeggknightpsychic @nbcvs

@marzzn @naweirdo @yukii-1 @girlkissersco @yuminako @kunimix

@empress-pug-pug @cherrypieyourface @lvtilzs @punkhazardlaw @localgaytrainwreck

@crownj1min @sereniteav @madiexuberant @st4rdusttx @chizunata

@le000xxgrd @iheartpinky @muskratlove @mollyrolls @cryptictheseus

@theycallmenanamisgirl @jaeminsbuckethat @deluluforcarlos55 @bunninio @jeonsfizz

@causenessus @hermaeusmorax @guitarstringed-scars @whosmiadotcom @softpia

[brellafaun]

UNHINGEDPOSTING YIPPEE

today's episode is what build a bears i think the brellies would have/get. they take five as sibling bonding and he pretends to hate it but secretly loves it. allison records all of the heart ceremonies and cherishes the videos forever. i'm truly losing it i miss them so much

LUTHER ♡

luther would 1000% appreciate a golden retriever build a bear. he probably really wanted a dog as a kid but reggie wouldn't let him, so this would be kinda like healing that inner part of him (also rebelling against what reggie said!! win!!!). he would probably name it something like rover or scout and get the pumpkin spice scent and some jammies for it.

DIEGO ♡

shaggy highland cow. lila would tease him while they're looking at bears by saying their hair matches. it would only motivate him to get it out of spite. cannot think of a name while at the store, comes up with one once he's home. either gets one of the button ups with a funky print or an all black outfit with combat boots, with no in between. definitely a birthday cake scent guy.

ALLISON ♡

pawlette girlie all the way. classic, but not outdated. likely matches with a bear claire has. she would commit too hard to the bit and spend way too long trying to find the perfect outfit, maybe something that matches whatever she's wearing when they go. gets either sunglasses or one of the fake lattes as an accessory. either pumpkin spice scented or strawberry.

KLAUS ♡

rainbow bearlien no i am not taking criticism. maybe a frog, but this is the funnier option tbh. he would assemble the cuntiest little outfit possible for his bear, definitely using the faux leather crop top and some boots. additionally, he might get the emotional support bear shirt. takes the heart ceremony and birth certificates extremely seriously and gets his laminated. lavender scent ftw (maybe even gets his bear weighted?? weighted stuffed animals are great for anxiety tbh)

FIVE ♡

timeless teddy bear because. he's timeless. okay listen that was funnier in my head. but i feel like he'd dig this guy because it's more like something he would've actually had as a kid. maybe it'd be like a bear he did have, sewn together by Grace. he would pretend that he doesn't want it, but he absolutely does. gets a little suit and shoes to match his (that, or he gets the emotional support bear shirt). the scents are probably a little too on the sweet side for his liking. (if she had planned it out in advance, allison would've gotten him one of the ones that has embroidery on the foot. it'd probably be something simple and grounding for when he's stressed.) immediately emotionally attached. the employees ask if it's his birthday at least twice.

BEN ♡

jennifur the cat. we all know why. but in all seriousness, i think he'd dig this one because he's got a secret soft spot for cats. it's also pretty separated from the aquatic animals, and doesn't remind him of the horror at all. gets a zip-up hoodie and jeans to match his. potentially gets a voice message in the paw, something from klaus or the whole family. fresh cut flowers scent.

VIKTOR ♡

buffalo check pawlette just kinda fits the vibe? idk man, it clicks in my brain just right. the ears and paw pads are a good texture and he jives with it. joins mr. snuggles in the lofty position of on the bed. emotional support bear shirt, little denim jacket, jeans, and boots. maybe the plaid pajamas if he's feeling a more cozy vibe. lavender scent for sure. doesn't get a box and carries it with him as they leave.

LILA ♡

mothman. she's the family's own little cryptid. it works. finds the goofiest sleeper she can and bunny slippers. gives him a ridiculously intricate name like Sir Cornelius Weston XXVII. gets diego to record a voice message for her and refuses to tell anyone what it says (it's just him saying "I love you"). laughs at five doing the heart ceremony and refuses to do it when it's her turn. cotton candy scent

...........hargreeves family going to build a bear fic when

[anantaru]

✦ ۫ 𑄼ల۫  ۪ DEC 8TH — FAVORITE WINTER ACTIVITIES

featuring: heizou, childe, xiao, albedo, diluc, itto, scaramouche, al-haitham x gn! reader

genre: fluff, crack ૮⍝◠ ·̫ ◠⍝ა | event.

✦ 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐙𝐎𝐔

decorating the house

for heizou and you it was important to decorate and celebrate a warm and warm-hearted christmas vibe, the atmosphere being filled with both kindness and compassion, symbolizing your love to each other and the new season.

"how does this look?"

heizou held a dainty figurine in his hand, symbolizing an angel, wrapped in a white little garment as he held it on to the drawer next to the big christmas tree, being unsure if it would fit.

"I love it! it fits the white ornaments on our tree."

your glowing face was definitely better than the wintery season itself, the sides of your lips were split in an enticing smile as you walked towards him.

"i love the sound of 'our' tree."

flabbergasted with joy and delight he put the small figurine on the desk so he could place his hands on your waist, drawing you closer.

a kiss, only one, saying more than one thousand words, that threw you off reality, feeling like your feet barely touched the ground anymore.

upon pulling away, you held his cheeks in your palms, continuing, "we should continue to decorate." grabbing the silver ribbons and glitter off the table you tried to pull away from his grasp as he hooked his hand into you.

watching him with a confused expression, you continued, "there‘s still things to do on the tree."

"OUR tree, don't mess it up now."

✦ 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄

ice fishing

with ajax having an immense advantage surrounding this particular hobby— due to his father and him spending lots of time ice fishing together when he was little, he made it his duty to show you all the little tricks he had up his sleeve.

"wait, hold it like this."

your fingers were desperately cramping around the fishing rod, your hands struggling as he took them in his palm, wiggling you into the right direction.

"see, isn't that better?" his warm breath on your cheeks surely made you experience another familiar feeling, your smile being wide as you drew your eyes to him, thankful. "you're right."

"father and i always came here on the exact same spot, he showed me everything I'm showing you right now."

of course, you knew ajax was a big family person, his family was everything he had with you counting as a member of it as well.

the first time you met his parents you could still remember how excited he was, contentment warmed him from within when you were gradually opening up to them, laughing at each others jokes. He was so proud.

proceeding to let out some line from the fishing rod— so you could set the hook much further, you eagerly listened to the stories ajax would tell you about his childhood.

between the physical cold of the wintry day in snezhnaya, you shared each others company. An icy beauty was roaming, gently, a white sparkle as fine as any crystal would be when it began to snow, making the day very much more beautiful.

✦ 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎

sledding

with a puffy winter coat, xiao and you decided to go out sledding, well, not quite.

you actually had that brilliant idea and xiao followed suit, he wanted to make sure nothing was happening and that you weren't going to catch a cold, as if he could prevent that in the first place.

"are you sure you aren't too cold? we can still go back."

there it was again, your laugh echoed through the icy area as you turned around to watch xiao place the sled on the ground, his brows being slightly scrunched together in thought.

"i'm fine, are you ready though?" obviously, teasing him was one of your favorite things to practice, xiao never went sledding before and he was quite fond of the idea to share a new experience with his s/o.

"why shouldn't i be?" embarrassingly shifting his weight from side to side, he crossed his arms over his body, the cold air continuing to color his cheeks in a red hue.

"nothing nothing, we should start the fun!"

sledding every cold season comes and goes, but doing it with your s/o sure leaves its own impression, one that will always be remembered within high esteem.

with the sled down, you could feel the spine chilling wind run across your bodies when you sank onto the ground with xiao following suit.

you were sitting right in between his legs, he wanted it that way even though you had suggested to change positions, xiao still wanted you to sit particularly like that so he could drape his body over yours.

upon sliding down your faces changed with yours glistering in joy and excitement, you were pretty high up the hill, meaning that the sled was far faster than you had expected.

screaming and laughing you snuggled into xiao who held his breath because he didn't know what to do or what to say, nuzzling himself into your body and watching you well up with happiness.

it brought him a ray of happiness as well, seeing you like this.

✦ 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐎

ice skating

you were moving in tandem with the crystal cold on you, albedo holding your hand as the both of you skated over the frozen lake in mondstadt.

if there was beauty in teyvat, it was here, in this moment, together with every weight lifted off your soul, it felt as if you were floating with him by your side.

"how are you so good at this albedo? you said it's your first time."

it was somehow hilarious how your boyfriend seemed to literally know everything by heart, even hobbies he had never tried nor thought about before.

"it is actually quite simple, the mass of the ice is nearly perfectly constructed to hold the people of mondstadt." yeah, that wasn't what you meant but you decided not to press the conversation any further, more so would he end up telling you all about the mass and construction of ice.

either way, those little quirks surely made you fall in love in the first place, albedo's fluffy hair was engulfed by the icy air, hiding significant features of his handsome face.

with your hand tightly shut around his, you continued to dance around the ice and albedo was barely able to conceal his delight. Of course, he was always itching to learn and experience new things and now, doing that, together with you?

truly the best way to greet the cold season.

✦ 𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂

wrapping presents

every year, gifts were an exchange being made by friends and family, naturally diluc and you were quite entranced by the idea of sending various little goodies to your close ones, or at least, you were.

truth is, he could be a bit overwhelmed with it, when it came to gifting someone something he wasn't the most creative one either, really, he was struggling his butt off so he was happy to at least have you by his side.

"jean will love this homemade bread and hand written letter, I'm sure of it."

with that you looped a golden and red string over the packaged gift, placing it to the other already done goodies you had been working on earlier.

your eyes next, fell to diluc who was surprisingly struggling, his fingers were clumsily squeezing the wrapping paper over a dusty notebook.

"who is this gift for?"

curiosity caught the best off you as you rested your head against your palm, watching diluc add an ungodly amount of wrapping paper to the small book.

"kaeya."

how emotionless he let that name out, maybe he was too focused or he didn't want to talk about it. "you're gifting kaeya an old notebook?"

"it was my fathers, he should have it."

the next sight was adorable in your eyes, whenever diluc would get embarrassed his cheeks would flush red, sometimes the color would fade incredibly strong that it rivaled his hair.

"aw, that's so nice of you master diluc."

laughing and smiling, you rose up to wiggle yourself into his lap at last. Your boyfriend of course, let you, adoring nothing more than being close to you as you continued to watch him finish up kaeya's gift:

the gift he told you he wanted to wrap up himself.

✦ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄

building a snowman

"this is stupid."

lets be honest here, you knew scaramouche wasn't fond of the idea of quote on quote playing in the snow, yet you still desperately wanted to build a snowman right in front of your home to uplift everyone's mood on the new developing season.

"come on, don't be a dealbreaker, you promised."

his eyes rolled in the back of his head as you spoke, but he didn't say anything, an annoyed groan was the last word you could perceive as he nearly finished the bottom of the snowman.

you could swore you saw a tiny sprinkle of a smile on him, maybe you were delusional but there was something that made it difficult for scaramouche to simply walk away or complain to you more.

"I'm only doing this for you so you better be thankful."

his focus was completely on you now, crystalized eyes watching you and waiting for some sort of reaction, or answer.

"i know and i‘m grateful for you."

knowing full on well it will make him flustered, you added a small giggle to your words as you brought your attention back to the headless snowman, attempting to grab onto the finished head.

"wait, let me do this." every person needed a harbor, a secure attachment and for scaramouche there was never a person like this, before you.

so even though he still despised the idea of building something as time consuming and stupid as a snowman— which will melt anyways, he wanted to at least try and show you that he was serious about another thing.

with a tiny bit of your help he settled the snowball on top of the body, you came prepared and added a tiny red scarf and a hat with scaramouche holding onto the carrot and two buttons.

in an attempt to give them to you, you turned away, beckoning him to do it himself as he followed with a deep sigh.

he was a bit rough at first so you had to make sure he wouldn't destroy the head of the snowman with his brute strength, but after careful guidance the both of you backed away to watch your craft it its full glory.

"our own creation."

with that, you wiggled your fingers into his. This sentence meant a lot to him, reminding him of a string of pain, with his eyes holding something akin to freedom.

✦ 𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐎

baking cookies

"DON'T TOUCH THIS ITTO IT‘S HOT!"

your screaming fell on deaf ears as itto grabbed onto the hot plate on the kitchen counter, squealing out upon making contact with it and almost throwing all of the cookies on the ground.

"ow, what the fuck?!"

with the way he was smacking the plate away, some of the cookies broke into tiny pieces as you sighed out at what your clumsy boyfriend had just did.

"noooo, we need to do it again now."

you weren't getting frustrated that often with itto's little schemes, in all honesty, you were used to it and quite accustomed to whatever measures you had to take to bath out whatever he would do or let happen.

"i didn't mean to, i swear"! worry was written all across his face with his brows being tightly scrunched together, anxiety wrinkles tickling on his forehead.

"i know, i know, lets do it again."

rubbing your eyes you walked over to your boyfriend who had an expression akin to someone who just saw a ghost as you placed your hands onto his cheeks, playfully squeezing the flesh.

"you need to concentrate."

his lips trembled as happiness threw itself at him like a comet, nodding frantically at your words as a newfound dedication swelled within him.

"okay, lets do this!"

breathing out a long sigh while shaking your head, you grabbed onto the big bowl from beforehand to start over, itto following your every step like a lost puppy who didn't know any better.

with being already familiar with the recipe, it didn't take you long to finish the dough, just a few ingredients being missing before you could go on to prepare them for the oven again.

"you know." he suddenly spoke, taking the sugar off the counter to hand it over to you with a overly confident smirk on his lips.

"what if i *did* do it on purpose to spend more time with you?"

✦ 𝐀𝐋-𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌

stargazing + winter camping

under the darkened sky, between the clouds, in their usual mesmerizing appearence, the glow of the stars were prancing through the transparent clouds and illuminated the world within.

al-haitham and you were nuzzled together in both heavy winter coats and a couple of blankets, sipping on a cup of tea he had prepared as you gazed away.

it was intimate, but not in a sexual way, simply in a pure, soul blooming way you sadly weren‘t able to experience all the time with the both of you being busy on a daily basis.

"did you hear about the story of teyvat and their three moons?"

his warm hand was seeking you as he looped his arm over your shoulders, drawing you close.

"no, what is it about?" even though he would deny it, al-haitham had a way with words and on how to explain certain things, quite contradicting as the akademiya‘s scribe, yet it made him the perfect story teller in your eyes.

"once there were three moon sisters, named aria, sonnet and canon living in a lunar palace."

"sounds like a fairy tale." raising your brow with a giggle you nudged yourself closer to him with al-haitham‘s eyes glued to the sky.

"it might be, but who knows? the sky is endless."

you could see the stars twinkling in his unique colored eyes. No words have been spoken for a while, the proximity filled with pure calmness as the cold air was signifying the start of a new season.

©2022 anantaru do not copy, share, translate

[mrxadreamin]

If the kings were in a kpop group, and what position(s) they would have:

Satan - rapper/leader

Mammon - rapper/vocal

Leviathan - vocal/center or visual(this is up for debate!)

Beelzebub - rapper/vocal

Lucifer - vocal

Belphegor - rapper

Asmodeus - vocal/visual

Other Headcanons/thoughts:

Out of all the Kings, I feel like Satan is a true leader bc not only is he in charge the group, but he’s leading with them a lot like with his people. Like imagine S-coups from Seventeen or Onew from SHINEE. Not a boss, but a leader.

Hear me out I know Levi is beautiful, but seeing Asmodeus makes me think otherwise. Not to mention, Levi is the literal poster boy for WHB so he’d best fit the role as center. Again always up for debate!(please I can’t pick ahsvav)

I know Belphie is a lazy man, but he can just get it over with it and call it a day. Also if he wants something done, he’s gonna do it, but he’s gonna go hard to get it done(?)

Gave Belphegor position as rapper bc he reminds me of G-Dragon LMAO also a potential vocal like him too!

I see Beel as more of a rapper, but if he needs to fill in as a vocal, he can do that too!

We all know their concepts is dark, cool and they give off the same vibes as VIXX, MONSTA X, BIGBANG, ENHYPEN, ONEUS, CLC, etc.

Manager would be mc of course!

Of course they all have their right hand devils as assistance because that’s their job and also to help mc alleviate the workload as a manager.

The kings would hold concerts once a year bc they’re too busy for tours and they need to be able to defend their kingdom from angel attacks.

Thoughts and headcanons aside, I was listening to kpop on the way to the airport earlier and back. During the entirety of it all, I was BRAINROTTING

[findafight]

Kinda want to write a one-sided ronance post S4 au (within a fix it obvs) where the older teens start actually hanging out and Stobin (eventually + Vickie)confuse literally everyone. They greet each other with cheek kisses, call each other babe (or "Stevie Baby". Listen. Robin calls him bud or buddy or bub or bubba or babe and it's like why so many B's?? Argyle is vibing with it though and joins the bud train) and one time at two in the morning had a coordinated ramble about the names of the cats they will eventually get. (Sassafras, moonshine, and Garborator)

Nancy and Steve haven't really talked about anything, other than Steve saying "hey. I'm sorry if whatever I said weirded you out. I was definitely a bit delirious and Robin and Eddie AND Dustin were all making comments about winning you back or whatever which is stupid, you made it clear where you stood with me. Which wasn't with me. That's fine. and like. Okay yeah when we were together I'd daydream about you being beside me in the motorhome but thats-- it was a daydream. I was sort of thinking I was gonna die and. I wanted to share a little dream that made me happy. And then got everything confused in my head and made it weird and I'm sorry. what I'm trying to say is I'm sorry for being weird and making things uncomfortable. I'm over you. I loved you then, and you were my first real love, and maybe if things were different I could love you like that again but. But neither of us want that or the same things out of life. And we'd crash and burn again. Plus you and Jonathan are together which is a non-starter. Cannot believe I forgot that when it was happening. Jesus. So. Yeah. Sorry for being not a great friend and hitting on you in the Upside Down." And Nancy had nodded and told him not to worry about it. He had been sort of bleeding out and planning on going back into the upside down. They could both be normal about it.

Sometimes Nancy and Robin try to have "girl time" at Nancy's suggestion because they're the only girls in the older group (sometimes. But Robin is not going to let that slip out) but it's awkward without a buffer. Robin is too nervous and rambles and Nancy is too annoyed by it. But they do get on well in group settings, and Steve and Argyle are actually the keenest to smooth over any awkwardness.

Robin laughs more with the group, and grins at Steve and smirks at Eddie and has a sharp tongue Nancy can admire. She's more comfortable with Steve around, insisting he sit beside her or on the ground in front of her so she can play with his hair. (And Nancy is shocked the first time she sees it, because Steve was notoriously protective of his "best feature", but she'd asked and he'd hummed quietly as she takes her fingers through his hair and put tiny, lopsided braids in it.) It's nice to see Robin less jumpy, and wonders what it would take to see more of the side of her Nancy only sees when Steve's around. She just wants to get closer to Robin. Wants a friend.

And somehow, beyond Nancy's notice, Steve and Robin's friend Vickie slowly joins the group. She wasn't involved at all in the spring, but has been hanging around Family Video and a movie night or two often enough that when she settles more permanently in the group it isn't a very big surprise. Eddie and Argyle welcome her in with open arms, Jonathan is only his normal amount of weary of new people, and obviously Robin and Steve are excited for their friends to be friends.

But it just doesn't sit right with Nancy. She can't pinpoint why, it just doesn't. When she sees Robin and Vickie giggling together, or having some back and forth banter that seems to feed into both of them smiling, or Steve throwing his arm over her shoulder, or Vickie leaning into Robin's space as they talk. She always sits beside Robin, Steve on the other, with Eddie beside him. It's usually a tight fit for whatever couch they're on, but the four seem happy as clams to not have any personal space. Once Argyle decided to lay across all their laps, and they just...let him. Finangled themselves so everyone was mostly comfortable.

Nancy figures she is uncomfortable with it because she hasn't ever had a close friend since Barb, and was possibly hoping she could be close to Robin along those lines. So seeing her so close with the others and mildly uncomfortable around her hurt, and seeing her and Steve incorporate someone unversed in the Upside Down into their little trauma club also hurt. Because what did Vickie have that Nancy didn't? That made Steve and Robin and now Eddie stick to her like glue? That made them want her there when she didn't know anything about what they'd been through and could probably never understand?

What made Vickie Summers so special that she's taken what should have been Nancy's place beside her friends? Because that's what really bothered her. It wasn't that Vickie didn't know, it's that Nancy felt she took her place. That Nancy wanted to be where Vickie was, and she didn't know how to ask for it. Asking, trying to talk about how Steve and Robin had bonded so well after Starcourt while she ignored them and then how they bonded with and absorbed Eddie halfway into their bizarre dynamic after vecna, would feel too much like begging or admitting that she isn't quite sure how to make friends.

Nancy is jealous. Jealous that she isn't friends like Vickie and Eddie and Steve and Robin are. That she isn't the one making Robin smile and giggle so cutely. So. She tries harder. Tries to be the friend that Robin and Eddie and even Steve deserve. She tries not to be annoyed by Robin rambling (it really isn't that bad, just. Not relevant. She likes heading Robin's voice, but thinks she could really work on having a filter.), or the way Steve always asks clarifying questions when he should really have known better, or Eddie talking half in different character voices. She thinks it's getting better, her relationship with them. But, still, Vickie is always there, glued to Robin's side almost as much as Steve is, and that always annoys Nancy. Niggles at her brain, that she doesn't deserve to be there because she didn't know what Robin had lived through and fought. Nancy did.

Eventually, Nancy figures out that she wants more from Robin. Doesn't want to be a friend she smiles at occasionally, wants to be the reason she smiles all the time. And that's terrifying. Because Nancy had never considered liking girls, never thought liking girls was a thing she could do. It was something other women did, not Nancy. She liked boys and always had, but. But maybe she always liked girls...too. maybe it wasn't something she that was one or the other. Being different in a town like Hawkins puts a target on your back, being queer in a town like Hawkins even moreso.

She's leaving Hawkins in the fall. But she thinks she wants someone to come home to. She wants Robin to come home to. Robin and Steve seem to be okay with it, from what she can glean of some veiled comments they've made that she's only caught now she's looking for them. They've made some remarks around the kids that make it seem like they'd be safe to come to, no matter what. And sometimes, some of the comments Robin makes about actresses seem a little...well. admiring.

They probably, hopefully, wouldn't hate her for this. And now Nancy and Robin have a friendship, she thinks she can. It's early July, and Nancy is going to ask Robin out.

She gets her alone, bites her lip, and asks Robin in no uncertain terms to go out on a date with her. Robin stares, mouth agape.

"oh," she says.

Nancy smiles, a little. "Yeah. So. What do you say?"

Robin blinks, and takes a shuddering breath. "Oh my god. I. Nancy I'm really flattered but I'm no-i dont- uhg. I'm dating someone." she groans, rubbing her hands over her face.

And oh. Nancy read the situation wrong "oh. Steve. It's fine! You don't like girls, thats--thats totally fine! Id just, um. That is,-"

Robin waves her hands. "No, no! I'm not dating Steve! You clocked me correctly. Definitely gay! Don't worry about that! Hah."

Something in Nancy twists. "Oh?"

"yeah. Yep. Not only am I a lesbian in a small town, I'm a lesbian in a small town that somehow also has a girlfriend." Robin says the word dreamily. Like she still can't believe it. Nancy's brain fills with static. She was too late. Too caught up with how she missed so many chances in the past, that she missed her chance now.

But Robin keeps talking. "And, like. Even if I didn't, I don't think it would have worked between us anyways. Too different, y'know?"

"what?"

Robin gestures with her hands between them. "Well, like. I like being your friend. But, I mean, I wouldn't date you?"

"why not?"

Blinking, Robin tilts her head. "Because of Steve?"

Something bubbles hot in Nancy. "What the fuck does Steve have to do with wether or not we would date?"

"Nancy. Steve's my best friend." As though that explains anything.

"yes? And?"

Robin looks uncomfortable, shifting sideways. "listen, Nancy. You're a good friend. And I've just rejected you. Maybe we should just. Ah. Leave this? I'm really sorry. I'll give you some space, just find me when you're ready?"

"no. What do you mean that we couldn't date because Steve is your best friend? Why would that have any effect on how you date?"

"it doesn't! Not really! Just. Nancy, you broke his heart. His soft, squishy heart! You kinda sorta cheated on him-details very unclear-and then just. Moved on. Pretended like nothing happened. I couldn't do that to Steve. Dating a friend's ex is a bad move. Dating an ex that broke a friend's heart is just cruel." She sighs. Looks sad. As though she isn't the one rejecting Nancy and tearing her apart for how a relationship ended almost two years ago. What did that matter, now? "You're my friend, Nancy. I like you! But even if Steve has moved on, forgiven and forgotten, and if things were a bit different given his full support for us dating if that's what I wanted, I think I'll always remember how he-- how much it hurt him."

"oh"

"I'm. Nancy I'm really sorry. I know how scary it is to put yourself out there, especially like this. It's not fair. I'm just sorry. But. It was true. Steve's the most important person to me. I couldn't ever hurt him. Not like that. Not even if he said he was fine with it."

Nancy stands and walks away. She doesn't cry until she locks her bedroom door.

[chinomiko]

hi! i know it must be kinga boring for you recive questions about castiel bc ppl are obsessed ober him for years but like the other person who asked you a few days ago, i follow you (and ply mcl) for like 10 years and ever since day one my fav boy has been tiel. till this day at the age of 22 he's my favorite and my comfort boy so i joke that he's not a fictional character anymore for me and that i know him personally at this point lol

with that being said, i bet you can imagine that over the years i've been elaborating his personality beyond what the game gives us but he's your boy, you created him therefore you know him and your word is canon, so i'd like to ask a few stuff!! nothing too big, dont worry but here we go.

tiel is an amazing songwriter and since he's very emotional not very good at express it (he does it a lot better now that he's an adult ��) i bet his lyricism is very deep and poetic so i have this headcanon that he at first wouldn't like taylor swift because obviously lol but then he payed attention to her lyrics and ends up basically being a swiftie since he likes her writing a lot. what you think about that?

and what kind of music crowstorm sings? like there are any bands that you listen and think "hey this would be in a crowstorm album!" (i have a playlist with this name btw lol). im probably wrong on this one but since this is my fav band i like to think that catfish and the bottlemen are the irl crowstorm, musically speaking

and the last one: another thing that gives me so much comfort is the lystiel friendship. not having present parents, being so closed off i know that lysander is such an important presence on tiel's life because he was basically the only close person he had (specially after the debrah fiasco); if lys didnt had taken the farm and went to college and bla bla bla do you think he would still be part of the band with castiel? im not sure if im mixing the canon with a fanfic i read a while ago (lol) but the band was more of a fun thing to lys, right? he liked writing most (i always imagined him getting into a literature degree or something like this). i also like to think that he helps tiel with lyrics at times, even if he's out of the band (in my head the canon is that they are best friends and pretty close till this day, i pretend lys never left our lives just like armin)

anyways sorry for this big ask 😭 i dont even know if you will read it all but if you do, thank you! and dont feel like you have to answer, i know its too much its just that mcl is my hyperfixation till this day like for real, i have a fanfic that i write still and i even plan on making it into a book sometime. except from the main characters (who is my oc) all the characters will be based on the game's ones :)

ilysm take care and stay hydrated!!

Hellow !

Aww thank you so much and for all your love for Castiel ^^

What a long ask, I'll try to answer in order.

Castiel being a swiftie. No sorry, I don't think he would be. If candy likes her, I'm pretty sure he would try to listen. Also he is an open minded person for sure, so I'm sure he would be curious to listen and study what all the hype is about, it could also help as some sort of far away inspiration, but I don't see him being a fan.

What kind of songs Crowstorm sings This is hard to answer because my musical knowledge is pretty limited and I'm sure I would miss on lot of potential groups or singers that would fit well. And it would require too much research time to have a real detailed and clear answer, but I still did check a bit and here is a little list of songs/groups that I think would have a fitting vibe for Crowstorm

City of the dead - Hollywood Undead The worst in me - bad omens Paranoid - I prevail Trauma Just pretend - Bad omens Ice Nine Kills - A grave mistake Catfish and the bottlemen sounds nice but I think its a bit too soft for what I imagine for Crowstorm.

What is his voice like I think something similar to this (not necessarily the song itself, just the voice. )

bonus, I think this song is so so fitting for Castiel's breakup song, I love it. Dial Tone - Catch your breath

Castiel and Lys friendship. It was'nt mentionned much in UL/LL because I didnt wish to bring too much drama by mentioning Lys when he was not there for the players, but of course Lys and Cast always kept in touch. It is very clearly mentionned in Lys' AL that they keep in touch, that Lys helps Castiel write songs and Cast also like to come to his farm to have a break and spend time together. You should play it if you havent, you'll have a good chunk of Cast and Lys friendship :) However yeah I can confirm that Lys would not like to do it serisouly and professionally, but he'll be all the way around to support and help Cast.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 7

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

A new day a new chapter! Today we get into the Water Prison. The real question: will Shen Qingqiu actually make it out?

No Charlie pics today, I have been abandoned at my reading/writing station, but I do have tea! Tea today is a blueberry jasmine.

Let's get into it!!!!

What the fuck?! Is this an acid lake? p89

Dang it really is crazy how after two accusations with zero evidence or proof that Shen Qingqiu actually did anything, he get's locked up in maximum security prison. p89

Right now I'm having war flashbacks from MDZS -> another protagonist out here doing their best with the rest of the world just making shit up about them for fun. RE: Little Palace mistress and her delusions of what SQQ did. She literally even says- he didnt say you did anything but I have a vibe. Like what? p91

We are gathered here today to all witness how Shen Qingqiu is once again refusing to acknowledge that he is indeed the Love Interest. Honestly, does anyone ever tell him? I live for the day the system changes his classification from villain to Love interest and actually tells him this. Idk if it happens, but now I need it to happen. Re: "what fit even less was the fact, in the original work, the Little Palace Mistress's refined iron whip had only been used for attacking love rivals" p93

Luo Binghe to the rescue!! p94 just catching that whip

Okay but when SQQ states that something is wrong with the script- is he actually on the path to understanding? or still clueless? I hope he sort of realizes what's happening, because dang this guy has 0 idea Luo Binghe would kill for him p95

OOP. "There is no need for Shizun to be so wary. If I wished to do something to you, I wouldn't need to touch you at all" p96

Re: point above about "is he understanding?" *deep sigh * SQQ has not learned at all and refuses to actively listen. He is still trying to follow the old script p.97. Okay but I do love how this guy is accidentally getting himself (in a weird way) romanced.

I honestly am pretty sure this is a dating sim XD "*to the system* Do you think we're playing a dating sim?!" p99

omg torture via demon blood is horrible. Like this is a worst nightmare, having little bugs in your organs NO THANKS. p101

I'm crying LOOOOOL two options; 1. the fake jade guanyin. 2. [Activate Small Scene Pusher] and gets his CLOTHES ripped off. Bro is now the lead in a period bodice ripper XD p102

*face palm* "Does it just take advantage of Luo Binghe's physiological disgust upon seeing a man's half-naked body?" p104. no my man, it is not disgust

oh no, giving him his outer robe made it more scandalous p104

RIP confirmed that that is the previous canon's sex robe p106

literally everyone has a feeling about what's up. Gongyi Xiao is eyeing SQQ, see's the robe and does indeed assume things about SQQ and Luo Binghe. How stupid is SQQ??? p107

Re: the note from Shang Qinghua to SQQ. Shang Qinghua is also an idiot, this guy had 1 job and that was to not fuck up the mushrooms. he goofed this exponentially. RIP those mushrooms. p109

Welp. Gongyi Xiao is realizing that Luo BInghe may not be as pure of heart as he thought p112

it's so much worse though- he really thinks that Luo Binghe assaulted SQQ and is now helping SQQ escape. p113

meanwhile SQQ is living in his own universe LOL no idea these are the assumptions. Also, IDK what's going to happen when Luo Binghe inevitably see's SQQ in Gongyi Xiao's robe. RIP GYX p115

Okay but SQQ I too would freak the fuck out if I had a walking/wake dream. Meng Mo's realm is no joke. p120-121

Dang Luo Binghe has become so strong. This dreamscape is insane. pp 124-126

again with the clothes ripping. I hope one day they enjoy this consensually. p127 (blessed be this canon for the fanfics)

in which SQQ does not realize that the fight in the dreamscape is indeed not a fight- it is most definitely foreplay. p128

I fucking KNEW IT Luo Binghe was NOT pleased with SQQ wearing Gongyi Xiao's robe. LOOOL. p130

but also I don't know what became of GYX but let's take a moment to remember him, I am sure he did not make it.

oh gosh more tragic SQQ backstory :( p132

I am glad I clocked it in the last chapter. Something was so fishy about the family that took him in and his "betrothal" my heart for SQQ :( :( :( p134

Okay get it Ning YinYing!!!! Re: her talking shit to and about Little Palace Mistress to her face! p138

yes she got slapped but still she did a pretty good job! and her sect siblings have her back.

That is it for today!!

Oh god. ofc we leave on a cliffhanger with a shady guy ready to super saiyan AND the next chapter is ominously titled "Death". I am not prepared for this!

[adastra121]

Touchstarved Romance Themes (Musical Version)

I like musicals, so I paired each Touchstarved LI x MC pairing with songs from musicals! These will probably be inaccurate since I'm going off of vibes from the demo. If you guys have other musical songs that you think would fit, please feel free to reblog or comment (I always like to find new musical songs!).

Kuras x MC

“All I’ve Ever Known” (Hadestown) — I associate Kuras with sunlight and devotion, and this song has both. There are a lot of lyrics that remind me of his path in the demo.

"I was alone so long I didn't even know that I was lonely. Out in the cold so long, I didn't even know that I was cold."

"You take me in your arms And suddenly there's sunlight all around me Everything bright and warm And shining like it never did before And for a moment I forget Just how dark and cold it gets."

"I don't know how or why Who am I that I should get to hold you?"

"Suddenly the sunlight, bright and warm Suddenly I'm holding the world in my arms."

“No Good Deed” (Wicked) — Can you imagine Kuras healing us to this?

"Let their flesh not be torn Let their blood leave no stain Though they're beaten, Let them feel no pain. Let their bones never break And however they try to destroy them, Let them never die."

"My road of good intentions Led where such roads always lead No good deed Goes unpunished."

“The Hill” (Once) — I think it would be interesting if, as a foil to Vere, one of his flaws is that he doesn't actually see us as a person? MC is either a path to redemption or another tragedy.

"But where are you my angel now? Don't you see me crying?"

"I'm on my knees in front of him But he doesn't seem to see me. With all his troubles on his mind, He's looking right through me."

Leander x MC (sidenote, there are so many musical songs that fit this guy why is he so musical-coded, also why are so many musical songs terrifying when you imagine it with Leander? XD)

“All I Ask of You” (Phantom of the Opera) — To be fair, I guess this song is also still unsettling in its actual context, too, if you know the story. XD

"Let me be your shelter, Let me be your light. You're safe, no one will find you, Your fears are far behind you."

“Something Wonderful” (The King and I) — From MC's perspective, Leander being toxic af.

"The thoughtless things he'll do Will hurt and worry you Then all at once he'll do Something wonderful."

"He has a thousand dreams That won't come true You know that he believes in them And that's enough for you."

“Only Us” (Dear Evan Hansen) — This is the sweet song that is mildly concerning when you pair it with him.

"What if it's you And what if it's me And what if that's all that we need it to be And the rest of the world falls away?"

"I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me. So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go."

"We can just watch the whole world disappear. 'Til you're the only one I still know how to see. It's just you and me."

“Our Love is God” (Heathers) — The Heathers songs are here because I cannot listen to these without imagining Leander anymore.

"They died because God said they must The new world needed room For me and you."

"I worship you. I'd trade my life for yours They all will disappear. We'll plant our garden here. Our love is God."

“Meant to Be Yours” (Heathers) — Leander outside the room he gave us.

"Those assholes are the key! They're keeping you away from me! They made you blind, messed up your mind But I can set you free!"

"You were meant to be mine. I am all that you need. You carved open my heart, Can't just leave me to bleed!"

Vere x MC

“Natasha & Anatole” (Natasha, Pierre, & The Great Comet of 1812) — This song is unsettling but there are so many lyrics that remind me of Vere. And I guess the unsettling vibe suits him well, it does feel like he's putting you in a trance before he devours you.

"And I never remove my smiling eyes From your face, your neck, your bare arms."

"And looking into his eyes, I am frightened There's not that barrier of modesty I've always felt with men I feel so terribly near I fear that he may seize me from behind And kiss me on the neck."

"Look straight into my eyes Nearness Tenderness Smile at me Gaze straight into my eyes There is no barrier between us There is nothing between us."

“Take Me or Leave Me” (Rent) — A more lighthearted song, and I think it suits his unapologetic attitude.

"Take me for what I am Who I was meant to be."

"A tiger in a cage Can never see the sun This diva needs her stage baby, let's have fun!"

"You are the one I choose Folks would kill to fill your shoes You love the limelight too now baby So be mine, And don’t waste my time."

Ais x MC

“You Matter to Me” (Waitress) — This song feels very straightforward and true and quietly comforting, like companionable silence. So it feels a bit like Ais's path in the demo.

"Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you And I'll stay there as long as you let me."

"You matter to me, Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody."

“Sunrise” (In the Heights) — Since one of his likes is learning new languages, I thought this would be a cute song with him and an MC who knows another language teaching him a few words. The lyric "promise me you'll stay" makes me think of the end of the demo where Ais asks MC not to choose the Seaspring so quickly.

"Calor. Heat. Anoche. Last night. Dolor. Pain."

"Promise me you'll stay beyond the sunrise I don't care at all what people say beyond the sunrise."

Mhin x MC

“Falling Slowly” (Once) — It seems to have a lot of yearning and a bittersweet ending, which I got from their demo path.

"I don't know you, but I want you All the more for that."

"Falling slowly, eyes that know me And I can't go back And moods that take me and erase me And I'm painted black."

"You have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won."

“What You Mean to Me” (Finding Neverland) — To be honest, I put this here mostly because they like stargazing. But I think it does fit Mhin when they don't have the words to express their feelings.

"I won't lie I'm a little bit frightened."

"Every star that's ever fallen Knows the way to where we're going Now I really know just what you mean to me."

Elyon x MC

"Epic III" (Hadestown) — I'm basing this off of the short description of him searching for the one thing money can't buy.

"What has become of the heart of that man Now that he has everything? The more he has, the more he holds The greater the weight of the world on his shoulders."

"He's grown so afraid that he'll lose what he owns But what he doesn't know is that what he's defending Is already gone."

Sen x MC

"The Next Ten Minutes" (The Last Five Years) — I feel like her ultimate goal being her own death adds another layer to this song, making it less about a proposal and more about treasuring the time you have together.

"Will you share your life with me For the next ten minutes? For the next ten minutes, We can handle that. We could watch the waves, We could watch the sky, Or just sit and wait As the time ticks by, And if we make it 'til then, Could I ask you again For another ten?"

"There are so many dreams I need to see with you. There are so many years I need to be with you."

*******Bonus********** I'm sorry

Ocudeus x MC

“Hey, Little Songbird” (Hadestown) — Okay. So, in all honesty, I think this could fit Elyon, too, but I thought this was funnier. Also Ocudeus using bird nicknames because Ais does that, like a petty eldritch horror. XD So. Ocudeus trying to convince MC to drink from the Seaspring.

"You'd shine like a diamond down in the mine. And the choice is yours, if you're willing to choose, Seeing as you've got nothing to lose, And I could use a canary."

"Strange is the call of this stranger I wanna fly down and feed at its hand. I want a nice soft place to land. I want to lie down forever."

[f1nalboys]

hey bestie! may i pls request something that is tod from final destination x reader? maybe some fluff headcannons, what it’s like having a sleepover with him? thx u sm! <33

hi bae!!!! i had sm fun writing this >:)) i do think tod would be one of the better characters to have a sleepover with he serves so much genuinely!!! hope you enjoy <3 first request to start out >:)))

Tod Waggner x GN!Reader

WORD COUNT: 651

WARNINGS: none

TOD LOVES SLEEPOVERSSSS

listen this guy wants to spend 24/7 with you, he is clingy as all fuck

like one of those shelter dogs, you know the vibe

anyways so regardless of whether or not him coming to spend the night is common or not, he’s ECSTATIC!!!! 

bro is jumping for joy up and down like yippee!!!!! YIPPEEEE!!!

he prefers going over to your place because then it feels like a vacation almost

but if you want to come over to his place you have to give him a day’s notice so he can clean up (he is MESSY i'm sorry to say)

he packs a bag and has a smile on his face literally until he has to leave

in my opinion, tod loves a good movie marathon and he is going to want to do classic sleepover shit with you to the point of almost annoying you LMFAO

he's like haha we should order a pizza… we should watch scary movies… pillow fight babe?? wanna gossip and do a face mask? let's talk about boys!!!!

and if you point out that he is the boy in question youd talk about, not only is he getting smug as fuck, hes going to go ‘ill pretend to be someone else!!!! go on and be so honest about how you feel about me babe ;)’

he's a great sleepover guest though, at least the first few times

he's awkward the very first one bc he's sitting on the edge of the bed bag on his shoulders hand in his lap like o-0 so…

its endearing 

and overall he's very chill and will stay by your side or in your bed the entire time

once he's comfortable though… loudest stupidest dumbest mfer!!! he is doing reckless shit and messing with you and trying to prank you and stuff

once he's settled down though, good luck getting him out of your bed for ANYTHING, a fire could break out and tod is staying put

he has to cuddle. it's a rule.

and he has no preference for being big or little spoon honestly, he has pros and cons for both, he just needs you literally right next to him

he does not care what movies you guys watch but he DOES want to watch some shitty stoner comedy like (ignoring the fact devon plays in this movie) he wants to watch idle hands and harold and kumar go to white castle LMFAO 

he's wearing your pajamas…. even if he cant fit he’ll find something to put on his body from slipper to an eye mask to your pjs to a robe to a bonnet, etc etc, you leave that room for longer than 2 minutes and he's playing dress up

you go to shower (and yes he's gonna try and join you he's handsy though so choose carefully) and come back into your room and he's wearing half your wardrobe and going through your jewelry and shit

and when you're like uhm… hello?? he stands there like oh… you're back sooner than i thought…. LIKE UR IN MY ROOM???

he's a popcorn snack guy, plus sour candy. sleepovers are for pigging out and he takes that SERIOUS he’ll sneak his own candy in if he has to

if he falls asleep at like 10pm-12am, then you will have a peaceful night where he sleeps until 8:30am and is well rested and so sweet

and he might even make you breakfast

but if he sleeps before then or later…. good luck

he's going to be LOUD and OBNOXIOUS (positive) and he's going to keep your ass up as long as he can

you're laying in bed in the dark with your eyes closed and he's steady talking trying to remember some obscure tv show from his childhood 

great guy though, love him

and you would have a ball, just don't plan on sleeping much

[lucyandthepen]

last eden - i . | lmh

part i, ii, iii

only one thing has ever mattered to you, in this lifetime, and in all others : mark lee — even if he doesn't know yet, and even if he may never remember.

pairing: mark x reader verse: canon/idol!verse, soulmates trope rating: T warnings: none, possibly some mild language, like... one very tame mention of making love ig word count: 4.3k

A/N: yeah i have a lot of these fics that i'm repurposing that i desperately want to post so i can continue them so please look the other way at my random over enthusiasm i beg !! my only long-standing mark fic is actually gorgeous, and while we do love a good raunchy piece, i love mark way too much to keep it to just that. this was my first ever fic on my old blog, and i'm quite attached to the idea despite the fact that it's actually very difficult for me to write. i changed the name because i actually love this song by maktub (anything he puts out is gold to me), which i think generally fits the vibe of the story, so give it a listen if you're interested! so i hope you all enjoy this idol!verse soulmates fic! (help a gal out by reblogging, liking, and leaving a few kind words if you're so inclined!)

“This isn’t really your best idea.” 

You know this. You’re fully aware of the possible and endless risks as well as the minimal benefits. But you have to go. The thing that Heehyeon, your roommate, doesn’t fully understand is that this could be your one and only shot, and it could mean life or death. And you know that sounds pretty dramatic, but it really is. you don’t really have all the details (when, where, how, the important stuff) but that doesn’t matter to you right now. 

What really matters is that today is NCT’s comeback stage at M! Countdown, and you have to be there. 

Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those things you have to go to because your a die-hard fan and you just have to support the group and do all those fan chants and lie to your mom about going to the library when you’re really staying over outside a company building for hours just to wave those silly, expensive light sticks that look like they came out of the factory a bit funny. Sure, NCT’s music was nice (enough), but that isn’t really the reason why you told your mom not to come over this weekend because you would be out on a company team building retreat (as if they actually do that). More than anything, you knew you had to take this chance to see him. 

When you don’t respond, Heehyeon presses on with a firmer tone, as if she’s determined to convince you even though you both know nothing is really going to stop you at this point.

“Listen to me, _____________. You are going to a tightly-packed music show with at least a hundred other fans, and you are going to stand in the middle of that dense crowd and — and what? Stare up at him. That’s it. He’s not going to see you; that stage is so high up he’ll probably only catch a look at your forehead, and that’s if you make it up front. And since we both know you’re neither the tallest nor the luckiest person in the world, you know the odds are against you. You’re probably going to get pushed to the back, or stampeded, and it’s going to be messy, and you’re going to push, and they’re going to push you back, and your make-up is going to fall apart, or whatever. Is this really worth it?”

“I told you,” you try to sound patient, but the idea of being buffeted away from the stage by a large wave of sweaty bodies causes more discomfort than you had originally anticipated thanks to her colorful and supremely unhelpful description. “If being near the stage doesn’t work out, I’ll wait out back, near the exit, and —“

“Oh yeah, and ambush him. Because you’ll be the only one there, and because that’s totally safe.” She drops the slightly (well, pretty) judgmental tone when she sees your bottom lip quiver. “I’m not… I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to reach out to him. But this doesn’t sound like the best way, _____________. Security is so tight there, and NCT’s security is even more wary. Even if you do manage to get close, what in the world are you going to say?” 

“I— I’ll figure it out once I’m there.” You purse your lips; surely I love you; we’re meant to be together wouldn’t be that hard on your end, but the more important question is: did it sound sane? You didn’t express this doubt, though. Doing so would give your roommate more ammunition to turn back at you; you’d play it by ear when you actually got around to making eye contact with him (if that ever happened at all). And — well, maybe you wouldn’t have to say anything. Maybe, just maybe, this time, he’d remember you.

At that thought, you feel an initial wave of laughter, closely followed by a second, much more painful wave of nausea. Of all the absurd things you could think of, that was probably the most ridiculous. 

“This isn’t a good idea,” she recapitulates, shaking her head. “You know what they do to people who stalk idols and say they’re really going to get married to them, or whatever. You know what they’d call you.”

“But I’m not crazy like that,” you argue.

“I know that, but they don’t know anything about you! You’d be labeled a sasaeng. They’ll probably think you’re one of those girls that sneak into their dorms and sniff their underwear before selling them on the dark side of Taobao through a weird Chinese proxy or something.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” You ball your fists at your side, feeling a little betrayed. Heehyeon, of all people, should be able to understand why you had to do this, even if it was ludicrous. She had remembered you, reached out to you before you could even place her. She’d heard your story, understood that you had been waiting years for this moment, even stopped you on other occasions when you were about to do the same thing you were planning now, saying it wasn’t the right time. “I don’t have any other way of contacting him. I don’t even know if this is going to work, but you know I have to try, and I feel like this is the right time. I have to see him. I have to — I have to be with him. I don’t need your blessing to go, you know.”

There’s a palpable tension hanging over you now, and Heehyeon’s expression has gone mostly unreadable, save for that twinge of worry still present in her gaze. The soft sound of regular, heavy exhales punctuate every few seconds that pass, and you realize a little later that it’s your breathing, which has turned a bit heavy from the energy spent sort-of yelling at your roommate. 

“I know that,” she finally sighs. “I know that, _____________. I just wish you used a different way. Like, a safer, less crazy one.”

“I would use one if there were one.” You frown. “I’m not going to do anything stupid, like attack him. I would never do that.”

She doesn’t say much anymore, opting to watch you instead as you stuff a few more essential things in your bag. A hat. A fan. a bottle of water. Heehyeon had tried to coerce you to buy one of those cheering kits with those slogans, but you didn’t want to waste your money on it, and, truthfully, you didn’t want his name hanging on your walls like some sick reminder in case he rejected you.

“What did you tell your manager?” She asks in a clear attempt to lighten the mood. 

“I told her I was sick. You know she never really asks as long as I find someone to substitute for me,” you sling your bag over your shoulder, standing straighter. “How do I look?” 

“Pretty damn healthy,” she notes. “But also kind of crazy.” 

“I’ll see you tonight, Heehyeon,” you roll your eyes as you make your way out of the room. Before you close the door, she makes one last quick remark.

“Not if I see you on the evening news first!”

You have to take two buses to get to Sangamsan-ro. Even though the traffic is generally mild, the buses make too many stops and wait too long for old ladies with their fruit baskets and newspapers to get on. The wait is making you anxious, and you think about getting an orange to abate your growing hunger, but you’re also so nervous that you’re sure you’re going to spew it all out onto the bus floor anyway. So, you content yourself with listening to music and fiddling with your fingers in your lap. 

All you have in your phone is NCT’s music. The files were so large that you’d had to delete everything else you used to listen to and a handful of pictures too (mostly selfies that would have never seen the light of day, anyway) just to get them to fit. You used to only listen to the Korean versions, but you’d found all these little nuances in how Mark raps his lines depending on the language, so you’d started listening to the English and Japanese releases too, even though you can’t understand a lick of anything but ‘baby.’ Most of the time, you skip over to the relevant (see: Mark-filled) parts, already having memorized their timestamps to a kind of sick degree. 

It was kind of dumb, and sort of selfish, but you had never really identified yourself as an NCT fan anyway. If you had been an active part of the groups following, people would have probably called you an akgae. You were really only concerned with one member, and it was that member’s voice that filled your ears when you’d plugged your earbuds in and put the volume up.

The first time you’d seen him was in your last year of college. One of your college friends had asked you to accompany them to a Nature Republic outlet downtown. Despite your general lack of interest in make-up at that point in time, you’d gone because she’d promised to buy you a corndog. What you’d gotten instead was a large standee of a handsome guy smiling at you and holding out a pot of aloe vera gel. 

You knew his eyes. Even though his features changed a million times in your memory, you could never mistake his eyes for anyone else’s — soft, warm, brown eyes that you’d stared into for truly an eternity. His were eyes you could never forget, were never allowed to forget. You could remember the millions of times they’d smiled up at you in those past lives you were haunted with, twinkled with mischief and laughter in your presence, borne deep into yours on hot summer nights as you made love. Of all the uncertain things in all of the lives you remembered living, these eyes acted as your anchor. 

You’d almost forgotten you were there with a friend until she’d called out to you, telling you to step inside the shop. Trying to sound disinterested despite the fact that your heart was pounding, you asked who the guy in the standee was. Mark, she’d called him. Mark of NCT. He was an idol, a rapper in one of those up and coming groups that was starting to gain a lot of attention within the general public because of their ‘cool, chic concepts.’ At that information, your heart had fallen into a pool of acid in your stomach. 

Other times were hard, but not this hard. Most of the factors that had kept you or torn you apart were much larger in scale — war, famine, other natural disasters. This, out of all the other times, seemed to be the most difficult; he wasn’t an ordinary man anymore, but a god among men — a god you couldn’t be allowed to approach. You had ditched your friend the moment she’d gotten her change back at the counter, citing a sudden time of the month as the root cause, and dashed out and back to school, sparing only one last glance at the standee. 

You’d been waiting for him for years, carefully looking for any sign of him in the people around you, but you had grown tired and had come to believe that maybe, in this life, you had been set free — that he didn’t exist, and the curse would be over. However, as you pored over each and every teaser, music video, advertisement, and blurry, noise-heavy radio interview you could find even a sliver of his face in, you realized that the curse had come back, and in a much larger force than you could ever imagine. 

You’d stared at your desk for the longest time that day; the sun had dipped out of sight already when you’d sighed yourself out of your trance. It had never been this difficult. Having the Memory was mostly the worst thing ever, but its usual perk was that you could pick him out a little easier, and he was never too far away — nobody you ever knew in your first life ever was. They just kept coming up again and again, running around in little circles throughout time and space, and you recognized them in a way you’ve come to grow familiar with. It’s a tug, sort of like a tickle in your stomach, and you knew then that he was close by. The signal only stopped when you found him, and it usually wasn’t that hard. From there, you were responsible for weaving the same kind of story — one in which you would fall in love, be happy for a period of time, and then… well. 

Heehyeon has the Memory, too. She’d remembered you from a previous life, too, and picked you out of a packed line at a coffee shop, striking up one of the most awkward conversations you’d ever had the displeasure of being a part of because she hadn’t been sure if you remembered her. It was only when she mentioned that you seemed like someone she could be good friends with and that you also seemed like you just happened to like your coffee black with two sugars did you realize that her sudden onslaught of friendliness was a sign she might be like you: unable to forget. She’d actually once asked you if you’d tried just letting him go, and you’d responded with a resolute no. At this point, it was too hard to call him a lost cause, even if he really seemed it. How could you stop loving someone you know you’ve loved for millennia? 

He’s extremely handsome in this life, you’ve noted. Girls were falling all over him, which only made things ten times harder. A couple of years back, some rumors of him dating a labelmate had come up. Heehyeon had talked you through that long night of you clutching tissues in a fist and sobbing about how you didn’t want this anymore, how it was never fair, how every single time you had to find him was just growing more and more difficult until it seemed to reach an impossible arc. But, mostly, you’d cried because you hated the possibility — probably the confirmation — that he didn’t remember you at all. 

You didn’t really expect him to, but you always hoped. Every life, you would approach him, and he would be a clean slate. It was a tiring process, one you wished you weren’t constantly responsible for. Some days, you resented him; how could he live his life carefree, without even the notion that you two were meant to be together? Most days, though, you just longed for him. Him, and a happy ending. 

You let out a sigh as the track changes. His voice greets you again; over time, you’ve noticed it sounding even cooler, more impactful. He’s doing well for himself. And here you are, attempting to make yourself stand out in a pool of fans he probably can’t even see clearly. Nice.

You get to listen to about half of the newly released album before you realize you’re nearing your stop. Sidestepping a couple of baskets of oranges, you make it to the door and dash out. Heehyeon had drawn you a crude map to CJ E&M, and you’d been skeptical of it at first, but you realize now you would have gotten lost and missed the stage long before you got there if you had gone in blind. You’d make sure to thank her when you got back. If you did actually come back in one piece. 

Heehyeon also hadn’t been joking; the line outside looks like it would fill a whole section of Jamsil. You’d heard of the dedication of some of these fans, but you’d never seen it like this, nor had you ever actually been a part of it. Kids were really up at three in the morning in support of NCT. Many of them are probably here specifically in support of Mark, you think. Sure enough, the people you line up behind are holding holographic slogans with the print “Mark-yah!” You swallow hard, trying not to regret your decision not to partake in that. 

It feels like hours before you get even close to the door of the building. The chatter has died down a little, but not by much; even with less people ahead of you, the noise pollution increases in tandem with the excitement in the atmosphere. You’re not excited, though. You’re sick to your stomach, wishing you hadn’t come alone and wondering if you were going to regret this. Probably. Luckily, a couple of teenagers behind you strike up a casual conversation starting with “ah, it’s getting more humid now,” and you take turns complaining about what the weather would probably be like later on in the day before you start talking about NCT. They’re both Jaehyun fans, and you think about whether or not you remember meeting him in a past life. Nothing really rings a bell.

When you tell them you’re here for Mark, they giggle. 

“We know,” they chime. “You’re wearing blue.” 

“It’s his favorite color,” you say, a little defensively. 

“Everyone knows that. Everyone here wearing that ocean blue is a Mark fan. Didn’t he say so once?” They dissolve into laughter again, but you say nothing. Maybe he had said that recently. Then again, his favorite color has always been blue — the color of the sky and the sea he seems to love so much. 

The line grows shorter and shorter, and your ankles feel like they’re starting to swell. You’ve been standing for a good two hours now, and you regret not having bought one of those NCT membership cards that get you up to the front of the line. It’s really no surprise that you, the two Jaehyun fans, and the others in the line behind you are all squished in the back, just like Heehyeon had said you would be. It takes a good twenty minutes before the lights dim down and the stage lights start up, and you hear the buzz that increases in volume right before it becomes a collective deafening shriek from the crowd. The light sticks go up, and you’re momentarily blinded by the large stars that blink NCT in some weird logo form before you get your bearings again. By that time, the members have begun trooping onto the stage in a single file, and you forget your swollen ankles as you tiptoe and crane your head for a better view. 

He’s there, your mind screams. He’s right there. You’ve got a whole crowd in front of you, but he’s right there. 

The Jaehyun fans are losing their mind too; he’s talking, asking them how they found the album and encouraging them to keep supporting it. Typical idol stuff, you assume, but the fans go wild in an attempt to reassure him that they will. They all speak in a line, and you note Mark will be last. When the mic is handed over to him, the fans start screaming again. You feel like you want to yell as well, except you’re not sure if you’ll say something actually coherent that other people will hear. Instead, you tiptoe a little higher, fixing your pretty bad eyesight on his face and perking your ears up. 

“You’re all here so early,” he starts. “How long have you been waiting for us?” 

A flurry of numbers fly across the room. He smiles in this genuinely affectionate way even though his eyes can’t focus on a single person in the dark, and your heart stutters at the sight.

“Do your mothers know you’re here?” He’s teasing now. “You can’t tell them that NCT is the reason you’re not sleeping well, you know. Everyone, make sure that you eat breakfast and rest well before school today, okay?” 

While the crowd screams in response, you let out a little whimper. It’s a weak, pathetic sound, but it essentially sums up how you feel, seeing him like this from so far away. 

The pre-recording starts, but you barely catch anything. You’re too small for this kind of life, and you get so tired of tiptoeing that you actually do try to push your way through the crowd. Of course, this is fruitless, and you end up squatting by the back wall of the room, sipping on your water conservatively and listening to the Jaehyun fans do the chant religiously. 

NCT performs the song two more times before they’re saying their goodbyes. You muster up the energy to stand again and make a beeline for the exit before everyone else can smash their way through. The sun is almost up now; beads of sweat form on the nape of your neck as you round the building, trying to find the indicated spot that Heehyeon had marked as the back exit of CJ E&M. You worry about how you’re in the wrong place for about ten minutes until you see the two Jaehyun fans turning the corner quickly, obviously with the same goal as you: to catch NCT as they leave the building. 

In no time, the fans have gathered at the spot again, and it seems like they’ve multiplied tenfold; the chants are louder and there are girls with gigantic cameras trying to shove you away from the spot. Security from the company camps out in front of you, their gazes shifting from the door to the crowd and back again. 

People around you roar the moment the doorknob turns. Nine of them file out, now in regular clothing, surrounded by their own security. You feel a surge of force behind you, trying to push forward, and someone’s camera lens hits you hard in the side of the face. You barely have time to cry out in surprise, caught in what would have been a scream of pain, when you see him. 

In the growing light, Mark looks like a king. No — like a god, actually. Everything on his face shines even when minimal sunlight strikes it; his teeth help, too, brightening his face as his mouth hangs open in an easy laugh. He’s talking to Doyoung and has to face him, his sharp jawline being the first thing anyone can see from that perspective, and it’s that angle that creates all these alarms in your head. 

For some reason, you’ve blocked out the noise around you. Even the pain from the camera lens attack isn’t bothering you as much anymore; you feel like you’re in an aquarium, and all the screams are on the other side of the glass. Your vision tunnels; all you can see is him. 

You’d promised Heehyeon you wouldn’t do anything stupid. Again and again, she’d asked you and drilled you and reminded you that you weren’t supposed to do anything that would get you into trouble. Even with those promises you’d made, she’d still doubted you. Later, when you’d tell her this story, she’d roll her eyes and yell I told you so!, because, well, she did tell you. And, when you’d look at it in retrospect, you’d see that you should have listened. 

Right now, though, you’re walking. Somehow, the camera lens that had attacked you had turned its gaze onto much more important targets; the guard stationed in front of you grunted in pain and reflexively retracted his hand after the lens made contact with it. It wasn’t a long movement, but it was enough for you to be pushed forward by the crowd. Enough to get your feet moving. 

Other fans had stopped trying to break through; though many were still hysterical, most were trying to take pictures of the members as they climbed into the van. One by one, they were disappearing before your eyes. No, you thought to yourself. Your chest tightened. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you think that the noise behind you has gotten much louder. Not now. He hasn’t seen me yet. Not yet, please. 

You don’t realize that your feet have picked up the pace, and you’ve broken into a short sprint before the building security could catch you. It’s too late; he can’t leave his post, and he only has to hope that NCT’s staff are well-equipped to fend off a running girl. They are, but they’re too busy helping the members that they’re caught unaware — just long enough for you to be within an arm’s reach of them. 

Mark is almost in the van; he’s caught off-guard, too, and he doesn’t realize that something’s not right until you’re already there. Security grabs his arm and tries to tug him out of your reach and into the van at the same time that a strong hand grapples at the back of your shirt. Doyoung, who had been by Mark’s side, tries to use his arms to shield you from his friend when he realizes who you are targeting, yelling out something you can’t really understand. 

It’s a ten-second long struggle of limbs in which you hear your own “Let go of me!” harmonize perfectly with Mark’s frantic “What the —?” Somehow, though, you’re able to fight through Doyoung’s arms and grip Mark’s wrist with a sweaty palm. The contact causes him to turn back reflexively, eyes wide in shock. 

His eyes. God, please, won’t he recognize me? Your fingers close around his wrist a little more tightly. Your mouth is dry, and your throat is on fire. You’re wasting precious time. You only manage out a weak, “Please, Mark, it’s me,” before he’s twisting his wrist away. The arm that gripped your shirt moves to lock around your waist, and you’re hauled, empty-handed, away from the van. Awareness you’d lost slowly trickles back into you. The crowd isn’t screaming at the members now; they’re screaming at you. They’re angry. As you’re dragged away, you vaguely note that the Jaehyun fans you were with are fuming behind the security guards still keeping them in place. 

The security guard that carried you off like a rag doll plants you in front of him, and he lets go of your waist but still keeps his grip tight around both your forearms, which have been twisted behind you. You have no choice but to watch from afar as the members drag Mark into the van, looks of concern etched across their faces. They ask him if he’s hurt, and he shakes his head. Right before the door closes, he quickly glances back at you. Your heart sinks for the second time today as you see something in his eyes you’d never seen before. 

Fear. Mark is afraid of you.