#literally forever changed

[youaretheunicorn]

moments in bottoms (2023) that have permanently altered my brain chemistry in no specific order

"omg ive always wanted one of these" *holds up a normal grey hoodie*

hazel's "why would you lie to me :(("

when complicated by avril lavigne started playing and we got a scene of josie walking broodily and sad while kicking a can on the ground

"so maybe ill buy a gun" "noOo"

"im gonna fuck up some football players and im buying a gun"

"YESSSSS YESSSSSS QUEENSSS SLAAAAYYY YESSS"

"is it because i said amelia earhart was a fake hero?"

when pj basically attacked hazel with her tongue

that kiss also being like the best kiss ive seen on tv in the last 10 years like unironically im so serious

josie and isobel making out covered in blood

the guy who wanted to blow the school up and literally wrote "BLOW UP SCHOOL" in his diary

"i know you're a black republican but you're the smartest among us"

"im not (gay). i just like gay porn"

hazels mom sleeping with jeff

"i FUCKED your mom" when the mom joke is actually real but also it makes your gf break up with you

hazel

just hazel she's so pretty pls give me a chance

that whole final fight scene

the football team that would kill a player every 20 years and was going to kill jeff by putting pineapple juice, to which he is deadly allergic, in the sprinklers???????????????????

"yes hazel, let's do terrorism"

*does the terrorism*

TWICE

again the guy that wanted to blow up the school who went THAT WAS MY THING after the tree blew up. he was holding a bomb button thingy. where was the bomb. what. let's go back to that for a second. hello. where was the bomb

horny freak #1 horny freak #2

[homosexualslug]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER (AFFECTIONATE)

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

[lucabyte]

Not all who wander are lost. Some who wander, however, are extremely, extremely lost.

[fiovske]

day 1 mission debrief

[abernthyss]

Let’s appreciate this picture tho!! The hand placement! The proximity! The way in which they literally look like their eating each other’s faces!!! The way Jordan is leaning her WHOLE BODY into Marie. The way Marie is holding onto Jordan like they’re the last people on earth. Like their her lifeline, her anchor.

I can imagine the sounds, how Jordan must have sighed so loudly when Marie kissed them in her fem form and proved all her insecurities wrong. Marie’s heavy breathing because she’s been traumatized and forced to lead this small group of supes who are her friends/girlfriend/boyfriend/themfriend and must feel so stressed out so kissing Jordan must just make all the tension leave her body and relax her.

[mattodore]

playing with dionte's hair bc i'm procrastinating

[ithinkdogshouldvote]

Terry I love you. You are so weird. WHY do you have a sword????

[terriblygrimm]

come together, right now, over me

[sketchy-tour]

✨DANDY COMMISSION APPRECIATION POST✨

Of course, being commissions I bought, none of these lovely beautiful pieces are by me. Credits (in order) @frillsand @weevmo @lanlishiba @parrotparfait @kandavers

I am!! GONNA attempt to gush about all these pieces without devolving into keysmashes or screams but like. A. AA. AAA. I was gonna say "yall have no idea how annoying I am about Dandy" but honestly you do. You all do because I shake my silly puppet oc around CONSTANTLY.

ANYWAY I JUST!!! AUGH! ALL OF THEM MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!! The fact I get to see Dandy in art styles I love and adore around the fandom fills me with a joy I cannot even DESCRIBE to you!! OOH I JUST!!! I love them. I love these pieces. I stare at them all the time and now I'm rattling them all around at you guys!!!!! LOOK!!! LOOK AT THESE LOVELY LOVELY PIECES RN AND CHECK OUT THE ARTISTS!!!!!

[earlgodwin]

THE BORGIAS (2011-2013) DVD Special Features: The World of The Borgias

[keepthedelta]

nico rosberg & mercedes ft. Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac

[crescentfool]

super excited for the p3 remake, can’t wait to re-experience minato’s journey in HD! 💙

[chikinan]

paradox. [twt + insta + ptrn on bio]

[slashermary]

we literally live in a post destiel society. there was pre destiel and now there’s everything after. and nothing will ever be the same! nov 5th should be the new 0 BC. like sorry jesus but the crucifixion has been replaced by smth a million times more culturally significant. castiel gay angel’s homosexual declaration of love on MY tv screen

[thesarosperiod]

eternally thinking about brennan saying "the only time in my entire life i've ever felt loved or welcome was in that cave, in the heart of the world, where i felt like there was a chance for something to understand me. and i reached out and i shared the thing i was most afraid of, and it didn't recognize it." about raphaniel and his reaction to seeing the saprophian again. like raphaniel is power-hungry and petty and vengeful, a murderer and a prodigious liar, but there's something so agonizingly relatable in the sentiment of that. "i showed this all-welcoming being the thing that's most wrong about me and it couldn't begin to understand." how corrupted and wrong would that make you feel in that moment? for your whole life?

i just think that raphaniel is a person who wants desperately to included in circles of power, yes, but a deep dark part of him wants to be seen and accepted even more. he wouldn't have breathed in those spores so deeply if he wasn't. this is a man with so much hate in his heart, going mad under the weight of his own secrets and failed ambitions, but brennan described him unravelling over the potential to be accepted and i can't get that out of my head