#literally happier than i have ever been.
Text
I LOVE YOU TESTOSTERONE I LOVE YOU BODY HAIR I LOVE YOU WEIGHT GAIN I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
#percy posts stuff#transgender moment#finally noticing significant changes !!#<<especially in terms of body hair. so so excited#pls got let me become a bear. ideal gender#whats that one post thats like. hrt weight gain is an angel. or smth like that#bc yeah..#its also like. even before i started it i was trying to gain weight rlly hard & it doesnt show for me naturally that much and now that im on#t it shows a lot more and its like. seeing the results of hard work#literally happier than i have ever been.#also today one of my friends whos a cis guy was like damn ur voice is deeper than mine now#and his voice is pretty high pitched but its still noticeably masc so. aghghough#anyway. theres hair on my legs now and its the best thing thats ever happened to me#peace and love on planet earth#trans joy#hrt#ftm
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
portrait to end the month
#impzart#self portrait#b&w#injury#ask to tag#artists on tumblr#for a moment of self reflection. i cant tell if i ended this month off better than i started#artwise i have literally never been happier. i feel so fulfilled#academics are going way better than i could've ever expected#i got dx'd and now im on new meds for it#but uhhh socially ? i do not feel like a human person anymore#people i worried hated me for years while we talked did actually feel that way#people i thought i grew distant with did grow distant with me despite constant reassurance this wasnt the case#i wish i knew the degree it had gone to shit so i could've gone more scorched earth properly. but it is what it is#at least now there's new people i met that i like to talk to a lot#and that makes me happy#outside of that ive been getting more into indie ttrpgs. especially those short and easy to pick up. loads of fun!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stede doesn’t just make Ed happy. I think that exact moment was probably the happiest Ed has ever been
I think Stede agreeing to run away with Ed, that is the moment. That’s when Ed is the happiest
And that moment will forever be tainted for him
#and it crashed so dramatically#i know he literally says that stede makes him happier than he’s ever been#but i think in that moment he is even happier than he was on the ship with stede#also i have full faith and trust that stede will make him even happier than that in the future#this is not stede slander 😤 i love stede#ofmd#our flag means death
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
finally accepting i am a gay man rather than whatever i thought i was is explaining a lot about everything to the point it’s actually making me angry. like man. man i guess it was very fucking obvious to everyone except me huh
#ftm#trans guy#trans gay man#like OHHH that wasn’t a weird mix of hatred and excitement#it was literally desire#i just process every strong emotion i have as anger#and i wasn’t a butch lesbian#i just felt most like a man when i could be the more masculine partner#even if i couldn’t pass for a cis man#which made me not even want to try#and then obviously i’d not want to be GAY as a man on top of that because then i might STILL be the feminine partner#and idk i just was less affected by lesbophobia because lesbians tend to be mocked by portraying them as manly#which obviously i didn’t mind#but the internalized homophobia ON TOP of the internalized transphobia is too much for me#im a coward and i like living in the comfort of ignoring my problems#despite all that i feel happier than i have ever been though#it’s like i finally slipped into my own skin#just wish gay transmascs would talk about the denial and shame more because then i might’ve realized sooner#but online algorithms kept feeding me only lesbians doing so#and i kept liking it because i was like#‘i relate to SOMETHING in what you’re saying but im not so sure what it is’#because i’m blind#actually come to think of it i might not have noticed if trans men spoke of this more often#because i would have covered my ears#anyway#whatever i guess i figured it out now#if only transition weren’t so expensive#at least i look like my dad already anyway
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
We’ve officially hit the point where I can’t fucking sleep because of this shit and on top of everything the AC went out I literally want to cry I’m so stressed I physically feel like shit like I need to throw up I’m so tired but between my stomach hurting, the stress, and the heat I can’t
#today he told me it ‘wasn’t fair’ that I expected him and his bf to move#just because I refused to get rid of my ‘disgusting cats’ and they would be ‘happier’ in a shelter#his reasonings for why they would be happier in a shelter were all things that they did not do/did not happen until he started this shit#‘they’re always hiding and you never spend time with them’#they hide from YOU#early morning and late at night when you’re in your room they’re fine#im out here rn just sitting with them giving them attention#also yeah I used to give them attention for AT LEAST several hours of the day#but after I essentially got chased out of all the common areas no obviously that wasn’t happening#man FUCK YOU#also sorry I don’t want to spend literal THOUSANDS more than I would other wise to fucking move#esp when YOU moving means no changes in your finances#you make over 50k a year I make barely 20k AND already have more bills to pay than you#why the FUCK should I be getting stuck with the far worse financial decision#and then to try and frame it like you’re getting treated ‘unfairly’ just because I won’t get rid of my cats for you??????#I genuinely hope the stupid fucking car your mom gave you explodes tomorrow idc idc idccccc#ESPECIALLY WHEN HE BOTH THREATENED AND SAID HE DIDNT CARE TO MOVE OUT#and when I said ‘great. do that’ he starts throwing this fucking fit#I hate him so much it is so goddamn UNREAL#I am dealing with a giant man baby who has never been told no in his life before now#and it’s really fucking showing#this is what happens when parents give their kids everything they want#and you have normie cis white man privilege and have also gotten every job/into every program you’ve ever wanted with minimal effort#so when someone finally says ‘no you don’t get whatever you want at my expense’#he has the most immature meltdowns fucking imaginable#kaz rambles
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
brrrrr (/pos)
#weight talk#<- just in case even though this is pos#but like. okay ive been. SEVERELY underweight all my life#like i looked like a skeleton you could see all my bones it was AWFUL#i just. I've literally always hated looking like that i hated looking like a walking corpse i mean i looked ILL#but recently i started taking remeron for anxiety#partially bc my anxiety keeps causing me to not eat properly bc i feel sick constantly#so i kept ending up in the ER for malnutrition and dehydration and my liver getting messed up#well i started the remeron for the panic attacks bc daily panic attacks suck but the psych mentioned it could increase appetite#and it???? did????? I'm eating on a slightly more regular schedule???? I'm eating more than once a day????#and like. ok I've always weighed like 100lbs#highest i ever got was 111 when i was 16#and then it dropped 10#and then dropped 10 more in the span of 3 months while i was in and out of ER#and i was genuinely starting to panic over it bc i could PHYSICALLY FEEL my muscles getting eaten bc i had no fat left#like i was getting drastically weaker by the day my knees still won't stop buckling#but in the about three months I've been taking those meds I've. gained 10 back#I'm actually gaining weight like me and my mother are genuinely SHOCKED this genuinely hasn't happened since i was fucking TWELVE#and just now i took off my shirt and noticed. holy shit. my stomach doesn't go CONCAVE when I'm hungry anymore#like whenever i couldn't tell if i was hungry before i would just look at my stomach and be able to tell if it was too curved inwards#but now!!!!!!! it doesn't do that!!!!!!! and I'm genuinely fucking ecstatic like oh my god i don't look dead anymore#I've always wanted to gain weight i feel like i would be 100% more comfortable in my body as a fat trans man#and i can't talk about that to anyone bc they always say it's either self harm or fetishistic#when no i just genuinely feel more comfortable in my skin thinking of myself that way#and now i have confirmation that i would genuinely be happier that way with this bc the sheer joy i have at not being underweight anymore#i mean I'm still a bit under but at least im gaining SOMETHING like at least i dont look like a drowned street cat#seeing the very slight rolls and folds in my stomach when i move the right way makes me happy
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate that women are made to feel guilty and afraid of being gold diggers for accepting gifts and free dates from men because there is something super sweet about a broke ass middle class motherfucker paying for Your broke ass' lunch 😤
#my bf and i have been trading a 20 back and forth for the past 2 months because we get paid at different times which means#one of us is always broke the week after the other one just got paid. and we both love SNACKIES#literally no way to make me happier than be feeding me its like having a boyfriend = free emergency snack fund#this didnt happen with my last bf ever even tho he made more money than me! he used to ask ME for money when i was unemployed#bc he wanted to buy vapes........... literally wanted to use my Saving accounts for vapes...... i feel like i ''traded up'' a little hahaha#my posts#ok ok i know gold digger and 'broke ass middle class mf' dont belong in the same post together#BUT i know im not the only lady who feels really weird about getting gifts outside of holidays#or not being able to pay for our own food when people take us out but actually#it feels Super nice to be an adult who can eat whenever i want to even when i dont have any money.... thats wicked sexy to me 🤯#and in general its nice to know that money is simultaneously important to your partner and Not As Important as You are#like yea man im the motherfucking queen. bring me money and cheese 💅
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
not going 2 lie 2 u i try not to Talk About It bc it's unhelpful for moving forward but . goddamn do i miss my best friend.
#im now definitely at a point where like. im really really happy with my life im happier than i have ever been and i love my friends so much#and i definitely do not Lack anything socially#so i know it's not me being sad and lonely and nostalgic i literally just miss HER as a person.#i like her and love her so much and i hate that she made me feel like a weird freak for that when we were best friends for 5 years.#like it's fine . I'll survive lmao it doesn't matter#im just used to spending a lot of the christmas period w her and it's coming up to a year since our last Positive Interaction (Feb)#and i wish i could ask to hang out and buy her a present w/o her making me feel like a Worm for it. lol
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
[ID: four large plastic totes overflowing with large black plastic funnels. Three of the totes are placed on a cart, and the fourth is next to the cart because the cart ran out of room. The funnels are not in organized stacks but instead piled haphazardly and look rather like they’re going to fall over at any moment. In a few places plastic tubes are visible connected to the bottom of each funnel - this is why they do not stack nicely. End ID]
#this image represents the single most insane project i have ever been involved in#say hello to my 216 funels! which corresponded to 216 1 liter bottles. 216 plants. 216 different samples under different conditions.#oh and 216 tubes full of microplastic ion exchange resin#this project was nuts. it also involved 2 whole days spent in a greenhouse. one of those was in summer.#anyways. madness.#i loved it but oh my god#it wasn't my project it was one of the plant scientists but as an undergrad i did A LOT of the prep work#i and one other person assembled all those funels and resin tubes. and we acid washed the resin tubes. i wish i had photos#of every available countertop covered in plastic boxes full of resin tubes and acid.#dilute acid but still#acid. so much acid. we made it in 3 liter batches.#too many batches to count#this also involved 74 liters of potassium chloride#which is like...#almost 20 gallons#i am never happier than when lab work gets this insane#hylian does science#biogeochemistry
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#cptsd is so wild because tonight I’m having like a good night but that feels so unsafe and scary that it’s hard to let myself feel happy#instead of just dissociating and numbing it out#like from the outside my life looks like a mess#but internally I’m happier than I have literally ever been#even with the stress of being poor#and living in this stupid country#I still have so so so so far to go but I have so much to be thankful for#and my life only really started when I stopped living with my abusive parents#anyway it’s over share o clock#if you read this I appreciate you and I have you have all the nice things happen for you
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
💞thinking thoughts about the stuff people add to the TFP au💞
#tfp au#i literally go nuts over every little bit of it#i am consistently just. amazed that there's fanfiction with my name mentioned in it. actual fics on ao3 with 'Riot's tfp au' on them#this au came from a small collection of headcanons that just ~evolved~ into something wonderful#so many small tags we grabbed and fucking ran with#... people actually using my preferred name and doing it in a genuine way. that doesn't happen that often for me irl.#optimus and megatron are such damn menaces#megatron has a cool ass visor and a frame that works in funky ways#optimus has slight fangs and spectacular piercings#they have just the best fucked up (affectionate) relationship ever which will continue to be complicated and amazing#I'm finally on the right meds which means I'm happier than I've been in nearly two decades and relearning myself every day#💖i fucking love this au💖
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh also as of yesterday 2 YEARS ON T HELL YEAH 1 YR POST TOP SURGERY HELL YEAH 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
#finally doing the last thing on my checklist this yr which is getting a passport :-)#dude my life has gotten SO much better i feel happier i feel more confident i feel more myself than I ever have#except maybe when i was a weird grubby child running around in the forest and creeks all day with no concept of what gender is and only#caring about catching critters and pretending i was a survivalist in the woods#quite literally a weight off my chest like 6 lbs of weight off my chest even#i had to save up like 9 yrs to pay for the surgery and had to get it out of pocket bc i knew there was no way i could get it thru ins.#but it was worth every fuckin cent i'm so happy i feel so much better in my body#i wish i could have started hrt sooner but it's true when ppl say it's never too late to start! i started at 26 and i am so so happy#with all of my changes and i just hope every other trans person gets to a point in their life they can safely transition it is#literally life changing#thx so much to all my friends who got me here and helped me through all the stress and cared for me after my surgery#thx to everyone who just said kind things and helped me navigate all the complex legal stuff and went with me to court!!! ur all the best#anyway goals this yr grow more than 3 facial hairs#and figure out how to style my hair i've been fighting these damn cowlicks for 27 yrs i want this yr to be the yr i figure it out#personal stuff
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
literally had a dream about a friend i grew up with and found her on instagram which led me to find other old old friends and. why are all the mean girls i knew in elementary school rich and engaged now. their instagrams look like Influencer shit. wtf
#im trans now and restarting college at 21 and i have 3 friends and no money and i haven't had a job in two years or left the east coast#and i dont drive or travel or take pretty pictures or have wild exciting moments to share on instagram#but at least i wasn't mean in 4th grade i guess so whatever#this is such a weird thing to be upset about upon waking up LOL#my life is literally fine and ive been happier than ever lately so im not trying to complain i just think its weird that#i had sleepovers with these people at 10 years old and now we're completely different people and i know nothing about them#also. why are all my old friends engaged and pregnant wtf#diary#vent i guess
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Some more fav pics of meeee 🥰
#the seventh one is my absolute fav#its from one of my cherry springs trips#literally have not EVER been happier than I was when I was there.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
my twt thread about how discord was actually ruining my life and i never rly realized
#personal#also i can confirm that deleting social media 100% makes you happier#but im not thinking i'm better than ppl for not having social media#i think i just don't like shallow stuff and it annoys me#my best friends all have social media but they're not super active like the popular ppl#like ok istg i'm not saying this to preach but genuinely i hate communicating online#like i literally had the worst depressive episode ever last fall and yet i was the happiest ive ever been in my life#because i saw my friends like 4-5 a week and i had a good relationship with my family and dog#life just feels better soft like that
1 note
·
View note
Text
me: hey so one of the three cats has diarrhea but I need to figure out who. can you keep an eye on your cat, because he only really comes down here to use the litter box so I can't watch how he's acting like I can the others
my mother: wh.......huh........... .? "keep an eye on him"...........i mean............ill try.......how am i expected to do that......................do i just "look" at him.....?. "pay attention to him..?"......i don't think i can do that.......... .you're being so fucking dramatic actually. this fork becoming dirty after i ate using it is your fault too
#joey i am so sorry i have to leave you with this woman#sorry ignore this lmfao i just don't understand why she acts like keeping an eye on how HERR cat behaves is so hard for her#she works less hours than i do and makes like 5x as much (literally)#''how am i supposed to know where he is'' you Look#''okay well how do i know if he's acting weird'' HES YOUR CAT. YOU LOOK AT HIM#im watching him too ofc because apparently im the only one that gives a shit about the cats in this household#but he doesn't like one of my cats so he doesn't come down here very often#is it like unreasonable of me to ask her this. like am i fucking missing something#the way she like sighed deeply after i asked and was like ''i mean.....ok....but i don't see him anymore than you do''#HE SLEEPS OJ YOUR BED#LOOK AT HIM#he walks around and plays with dogs and you pet him all the time just FUCKING LOOJ AT HIM#''and then what? youll take him to the vet?''YES????????????#yes i will take YOUR cat to the vet because you won't fucking do it#when my cat was peeing blood she wanted me to wait a week to ''see if it would clear out''#and when he couldn't use his leg she kept telling me it was just a sprain when in fact he has TORN HIS CCL#the vet told me the only other time she had ever seen a cat with a torn ccl was when a stray had been KICKED BY A DEER#yeah a sprain. uh huh. he slept for 48 hrs straight and it must've been a sprain#hes all better now thank god but im constantly kicking myself that i let her convince me into waiting a full week for his ''sprain'' to heal#just watch joey. just look at him. just literally pay any fucking attention to YOUR cat#if joey didn't hate my other cats so much i would 100% bring him with me too#but he's very much an only cat kind of cat so he WILL be happier when i leave#i just hope she gets her shit together and starts caring for him the way she's supposed to#maybe itll spark empty nest syndrome and she'll obsess over it or something#literally ANYTHING#vent
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
nicedaybucky
Nice Day, Bucky!
okpants
okpants
rishonclinic
✳️ Клиника Ришон в Харькове ✳️
business---goose
Random Stuff
business---goose
Random Stuff