#literlly as i was hitting her

[nononookytv]

i dont care what happens w the final evaluations bc during tryouts necro said she loves my laugh & thats all that matters

[elliespassagerprincess]

Therefore you and me - Part 1/3 (elllie williams x reader)

This short series was inspired by the song "Therefore You and Me [故にユーエンミー]" Truthfully I don't know the meaning to the song so this story is literlly my theory to what it could be about :)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one!

Warnings: Mentions of child abuse and toxic relationships

Summary: All you needed was Ellie.

Ellie was 3 when he hit her for the first time. She remembers the incident as if it was yesterday.

She remembered running around in the house when she tripped and dropped her sippy cup, her orange juice dripping onto the carpet. She remembers her father’s footsteps, she remembers him yelling, taking off his belt and hitting her till she couldn’t sit. And it was like that her entire life. Every small mistake she made, no matter how young she was. She was hit.

Growing up with a man as cold as the winter nights in Jackson wasn’t easy for Ellie. She never experienced the love, the warmth many girls her age spoke about, when asked about their fathers. All she knew was the sound of her dad’s footsteps, the yelling and the sound of his belt.

Even though the beating traumatized Ellie and she knew this was wrong. He was hurting her. But this is the only way her father gave her attention. This was the only way he looked at her. Touched her.

As messed up as it sounds Ellie started acting out. Doing stupid shit on purpose just to feel her father’s love, just to feel wanted by him. This form of love Ellie grew up with. This is all she knew.

His love language wasn’t words of affirmation; it wasn’t quality time it was hitting.

Ellie started hitting people as form of affection because that’s what her father did to her growing up.  That’s all she knew. That’s all she craved.

That’s when Ellie met you and she immediately fell in love. You were soft gentle, kind nothing like her father.

You weren’t like him. You actually showed her true love. But she couldn’t give you that affection back. She couldn’t hug you, she couldn’t comfort you. All she could do was give you the love her father gave her.

The first time Ellie hit you was 3 months into your relationship. You dropped a glass, it made a loud noise as the glass shattered onto the cold white tiles. And all you heard was Ellie’s footsteps, yelling and you felt your body hit the floor. You knew Ellie was violent. You knew she had a short temper but you never thought Ellie would hit you.

But you loved her, you forgave her. And you let her hit you. Over and over again.

Some nights you ended up bloody, bruised for weeks that you couldn’t even leave the house. You lied to people. You had to keep Ellie safe. You could fix her. You loved her.

Love conquers all they said.

Ellie watches you clean your wounds over and over again. She heard the way you’d cry yourself to sleep. How you’d whimper when you tried walking down the stairs. She watched how you flinched every time she came close to you. And every time Ellie would comfort you. Whispering sweet nothings into your ears telling you she would change:

“I won’t do it again”

“Forgive me baby”

“I love you more than anything”

“I’m doing this for you”

You believed that she’d stop. But the months went on. The abuse got worse. But yet you stayed.

“You only need me baby. Its only me and you” she whispered into your ear one night after she gave you a black eye.

you and me

you and me

you and me

love, love

Your family begged you to leave her. Many people have stopped talking to you. But you didn’t care. You don’t need anyone, only Ellie.

Only her

Ellie wondered why you didn’t leave her. You were losing people. Your family stopped talking to you. You cried. Begged her to stop. You’ve bled because of her. But you never left.

Ellie knew she was hurting you. She knew what she was doing was wrong. She can’t blame her father for hitting her forever, she can’t blame your abuse on her dad. But this was love. It was love in Ellie’s eyes.

She won’t stop. You knew she wouldn’t. She knew she wouldn’t.

You don’t need anyone. Anyone but Ellie. Even through all the abuse you’ll continue to love her because at the end of the day it’s you and Ellie.

“You and I will be together forever” Ellie whispered.

you and me

 you and me

you and me

love, love

Part 2

Authors note: Sorry if this one was short! I just had to post something. But I’m currently working on another series because of a very interesting request I got so just know something big is coming in the next two weeks… remember you are loved and to always be kind… requests are always open feel free to leave one!

Yours truly,

Zia <3

[grox]

Honestly I cleaned all the shit up off my floor and I am palpably less suicidal so whatever. Literally big whoop. Its fucked up that we will all go crazy with age and that we are run by the crazy because nobody can escape it. That the insanity pervades every inch of life, human animal and plant. Like let's be real, we're literally all on a timer. For just, world shattering grief. And once you realize it, you feel like you're living thousands at once. Every little moment in time where you still have most your loved ones, most your friends, your family, a pet, a neighbor, every single micro instance you are getting closer to losing them. So you go crazy. You feel like youre losing everything pre-emptively. A little bit of a test drive. Of course you'll never truly know how it feels until it happens. We are all damned to this, everything that creates life may do so then die. Or not, who gives a shit. & I feel like I'm the only person I know whos been this deeply rocked by this news. Like. Uhm, why is nobody talking about this. This is something that forces its way to the front of my mind every chance it gets. I miss when I was free from it. I literally want it to stop so bad I've considered killing myself so I can stop thinking about it. But thats an idiotic move. I hate grief. I dont want to make more of it. Not to my friends, not to my mommy. I wish I could just grab a stranger off the street and give them whatever the fuck I got in my head so it leaves me alone. Maybe slip it in their pocket like a stone. I feel fucking insane the way I genuinely feel like I can't enjoy anything because I know it too will die. Like isnt it a bit fucked. And this knowlege, the fact that everything is temporary is supposed to like, increase the value of the like, literal miracle of life and shit. And believe me, it does. Now that I've repaired my relationship to my mother I realize now how fragile her life is. I take her to dinner more often, buy her flowers more often, help her more, hang out with her more. I am creating memories for myself, and for her. I just want her to be happy. I know for a fact that if I killed myself she would follow. I love her so fucking much. I don't want her to suffer any more than I've already made her. Lets be frank, I fucking suck. For so much of my life I felt like I was put on this earth just to curse her. She went through hell to have me, and I fucking hated her. For no reason. I grew up thinking she would kill me, I made her cry and shit. And we're cool now. I want her last years to be happy. But after that? What then? She had to deal with her mothers death. But she's like 50. What of me? When I lose her young? I could kill myself after she dies, and I will really really really want to, but that's literlly stupid. Its stupid. What animal in nature kills itself because mommy died. We just, we all have to deal with it eventually, we all have to move on. If anything I could shit out a kid in my late 20s so it can also go through with what every single thing on earth from the first fucking sunbeam to touch the dead rocks had to deal with. The kid can go crazy just like me. Like literally every conscious thing & it literally doesnt matter. I can't tell this shit to a therapist cause I'm afraid she'll hit the silent alarm on me and they'll make the ending of i have no mouth and I must scream happen to me

[aquillis-main]

If you had to rewrite Sonic '06 to make it's story actually good (but if you wish, you can throw gameplay/general design changes ideas in as well) what, in general, would you do?

I feel like I explained this a bit in the past, hold on...

I've talked about how Silver shouldn't have been so hyper-naive in an environment that literally was Hell on Earth, especially towards a person who literlly appears to start babbling about chickens and eggs like Mephiles does here. That would be my first major change to 06 - make Silver less naive and more wary, before Mephiles hits Silvers insecurities and whatnot.

Another thing I do is expand on Blaze's character and point in the plot - she really doesn't contribute a whole lot to the story, and beyond her and Marine in Rush Adventure feels out of place in her own world. Have the game expand more on how she got to the Sol Dimension to begin with and why she was Silver's friend would be good starts.

Another problem with the game is the lack of focus on the itular character. You know, the guy the game's named after. Sonic. Have him be more involved with the overarching plot by having Mephiles kidnap Elise as well, trying to kill her.

On top of this, make Elise less of a damsel in distress: she has Iblis inside her, does she not? She should have more control over it beyond having to make a bubble when she's in Sonic's arms. Make Elise be a force to be reckoned with.

On top of this, have Knuckles and Tails more activities/helping Sonic beyond just randomly doing shit that adds up to nothing. They feel pretty badly tacked on and Knuckles especially gets given stupid moments when he's not really that stupid.

This also goes for Amy as well, but her lines are poorly written. I would change up the meaning so that when Rouge says her lines to Shadow about not abandoning him in his time of need, they echo back to Amy's in a more positive way.

As for Mephiles, the big instigator/instigation for Silver... He's basically trash if you get past all of his 'cool' moments, and does absolutely nothing beyond taunting Shadow and siccing Silver onto Sonic, before stabbing the latter in Final Story. I would rewrite him instead to have Mephiles be a shape shifter, capable of taking everyone's forms while also still being weak. That way, his ability to sneak up and try and be tactile would make more sense, along with him trying to kill Elise.

And Eggman, well. I'd feel that him wanting to use Solaris' combined form to eventually erase Sonic from existence would be more interesting than him kidnapping Elise for ??????.

[honeymilktea-writings]

Literlly been obsessed with the yautja for a few days now, trying to find more blogs that write for them 😂,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK 💕💕WE LOVE YOU LOTS 🥺

Can your write something for a male (and female, if you do that) yautja, trying to train their s/o to defend herself better, but they end up hurting her pretty bad, She refuses to show them the wound and says she's fain, and tries to continue the fight, but she's literlly bleeding out😦

Thank you <33 i wnjoy writing, so im glad you like it!

CW: mentions of injury, blood, stitching, etc etc

Yautja accidentally hurting their s/o while training

Male Yautja

- The whole wanting to train you thing started when he realized how weak you were

- ofc compaired to him, every human is weak, but he wanted you to be stronger than the rest

- it started off with basic hand to hand combat

- then finally when he noticed your progress, he trusted you enough to train with weapons

- it started off with daggers, and the weaponry training would be every few sessions (because his main focus was still physical strength)

- today was one of those days where you are training with weapons

- now usually ypur mate is very goid at not actually hitting you

- but it seems today was an off day for him.

- in stead of stabbing the dagger into the air next to your waist, he actually cuts your waist

- it was a deep and painful wound too

- obviously, as soon as ge saw the wound, he FREAKED, especially because he caused it

- you were trying to calm him down, telling him you're fine and you can keep going, while you're BLEEDING OUT

- so he picks you up and runs you to the bathroom so he can patch you up

- he calls you an idiot for trying to keep going as he does so

- as soon as he makes sure you're all patched up and not hurt anywhere else, he rests his forehead against yours and sighs

- finally loosening up after the initial freak out

Female Yautja

- so your gorgeous mate here knows human customs are different than yautja customs

- but male yautja are still around and will still try to fight you to gain your mates attention

- so she wants you to be strong enough to figh5 back

- she knows you probably will never be stronger than a yautja, but she wants to be strong enough to hold them off until she can intervene

- so she takes it upon herself to train you

- her training is basic hand to hand combat, trying to get you stronger, and so on

- she feels theres no real need for weapons, yautja dont really use weapons when fighting for a mate, its a test of brute strength

- during this training session, you two were going at it as usual

- except today she wanted to pick it up a notch, this time by hitting you with actual blows, and you doibg the same

- that quickly turned out to be a bad idea, because as soon as she did, the blow knocked you over which caused you to fall and hit your head on a rock

- with blood streaming down your face from the cut on your forehead, you look up at her

- as soon as she notices the blood she starts to freak out, but not too much

- you slowly stand up and try to explain to her you can keep going

- but when you stumble when you try to take a step, she immediately picks you up and runs you to the bathroom

- she starts to patch you up, kweping quiet, still feeling bad bout putting you in this situation in the first place

- when you grab her hand and place a kiss on her face, she loosens up and purrs

- she apologizes and does everything she can do to take care of you for the rest of the day

[calumxkisses]

Mirrors | c.h.

pairing: calum hood x reader

genre: angst to fluff

summary: part four of ‘Take My Breath Away’ (part 2 here) (part 3 here)

a/n: hello everyone! here I am with the last part! i hope you enjoied this trip throught the relationship of Calum x reader, it was an amazing experience and i wanna thank each one of you for sticking up with me! I wanna say a big thank you to @padfootagain for helping me throught my writer’s block, she helped me to come up with the idea of the fluff part of this chapter (she’s literlly the queen of fluff), go check up her account ‘cause her works are literally amazing and she deserves all the love. x 

song for this part: mirrors 

♡♡♡

Extraordinary.

There was something magnificent about the moon's reflection on the sea. How something so normal and natural could be so beautiful was not clear to you, but it was one of nature's wonderful mysteries. Like the flowers in the field near your parents' house, the butterflies flying in the middle of the city or the lightning breaking in the sky, causing such a loud noise in the gray sky.

That night seemed magical, all gathered in front of a bonfire, the fire lit up people's faces as the sand got stuck between your friends' dancing toes. Old hits played one after the other, the music accompanied the laughter of carefree young people and the world seemed not to exist, it was just you.

“I wish this moment would never end.” Kay turned to you, a huge smile on her face and her camera in her hands, ready to capture every essence of that moment.

“It doesn't have to end, honey.” Ashton whispered at her side, an arm around her waist and a glass in his hand. His dimples were clearly visible on his face, his eyes expressed pure joy and his jacket was now thrown on the trunk, with his tattoos shown to the outside world now.

The green-eyed boy whispered something into his girlfriend's ear, being careful not to be heard, she rolled her eyes and gave Ashton a friendly slap on his arm before bursting into a loud laugh.

In the distance, Sienna and Luke were chasing each other, like little children playing in the park, breathing made it more difficult to talk but it was not necessary, they were very well able to understand each other with a simple glance. Luke then managed to grab the girl before falling and ending up on the ground, one on top of the other, and their lips joined in a frivolous kiss, accompanied by so much happiness.

While the others danced - Mitch seemed to be completely lost in the music - Michael and Crystal lay on the sand, her head on his lap, whispering sweet words to each other and their hands intertwined.

Your gaze was fixed on the moon, there was something in her that attracted you very strongly and your continuous thoughts did not help you to pay attention to anything else.

Everyone seemed to be having the best time of their life, none of them had a worried look on their faces and none of their hands were shaking.

“A penny for your thoughts?” the sweet voice of your best friend woke you from your thoughts, his hand was wrapped in a can of beer and he was giving it to you while his gaze was fixed on you.

His hair was longer and curly, some shades of blonde still present from the last bleaching. His eyes seemed tired but the smile on his face was sincere, he looked much better than a few months ago, he was much happier and it made you happy to think you were the cause of his found serenity.

Despite the fire in front of you, the wind continued to flow into the night and Calum was well wrapped in his beloved green sweatshirt and you were sure he wasn't feeling any cold, you had worn that hoodie enough times to know it was the ideal cover for this type of night.

“He is leaving.” You whispered before taking a sip of beer. You looked at the moon one last time before you turned to the curly boy. His gaze was lost in front of him as thousands of thoughts floated through his mind. 

The light emanating from the fire illuminated Calum and his face seemed to be the color of gold, the freshly made beard showed a small regrowth and the wrinkles near the eyes recalled the many nights spent on a stage, with adrenaline at a thousand and a dream that was coming true.

“He got a big job offer in Japan. When I met him, he was there to do an interview for this company and apparently they want him there because he's good at whatever he does.” You explained, the ring seemed to be holding tight to your finger now and your trembling fingers kept turning it nervously.

When he first told you about the offer, you felt a series of emotions all together: happiness, because you felt joy in seeing him so happy; pride, because you were deeply proud that he was taken for his dream job and sadness, of course, because you didn't know what was going to happen to you but you were certain that Japan was too far away to keep anything stable.

You asked him about it, you asked him what it would mean for your relationship, for that little flame of passion that was growing every day between you. Evenings spent cooking dishes discovered during your travels, reading about fantastic worlds and hiking the Californian hills seemed to have ended forever. 

Then the voices had risen, the words had become screams and the tears of joy had turned into cries of sadness and your last interaction was a door slamming on your face and the sound of an old vase falling to the ground.

“What will you do?” Calum asked simply. He didn't know what else to say and feared the words would be replaced by the cry he was trying to hold back. 

He had never been the emotional type, rarely times you could have seen tears coming down his face, but things had changed. It wasn't the first time his heart was broken but this time was different, this time he seemed to find no way to fix the pieces that were left. 

Things at home were not going well, she was drifting further and further away and he could not blame her: in the last few months he had been the one who treated her coldly, no longer holding her in his arms, no longer whispering sweet words to her, the words always ended in fights and the need to fix everything was lacking less and less. The love was probably long gone but neither of them had the courage to leave, to face the failure of an engagement that seemed to promise so much love and that ended so quickly.

He was exhausted. He just wanted to close his eyes and wait for the world to decide to give him a break. Everything was wrong, but she was always there. His best friend, the light at the end of his tunnel, one of the only pillars in his life. 

Sure, she left, but she also came back and Calum had forgiven her, welcomed her again and promised himself never to let her escape. He had fallen in love with her - he had always been, but he had realized it too late - and had decided that he would take care of her anyway, regardless of their feelings. Because that's what he did for the people he loved, he took care of them, watered them and gave them sun as if they were roses, at the cost of pricking himself with every thorn.

That wasn’t an easy question. You would never have been able to maintain a long distance relationship, not with so many miles in between. It wasn't a trauma from your childhood that stopped you, but there were simply times when you needed to have someone close to you who cared, reassured you, showed you love and these things weren't easy to do through a cell phone.

The solution would have been to go to Tokyo with him. Your life was now in America, your friends lived there, your job and college were based in the United States and changing everything wasn't going to be that simple. You loved Japan, in the most nostalgic days you liked to review the photos of the cherry trees in bloom and sometimes you could even remember the scent and a new life there also seemed exciting, but were you ready to leave everything for good?

He loved you, you were sure of it, not a day went by when he didn't repeat it to you and often he didn't even do it with words: your small apartment was full of flowers, every day he came home from work with a different flower and a thousand reasons why that flower reminded him of you. And then he held you tight on the darkest days, wiped your tears and made sure you ate the essentials in order to feel better. He wasn't afraid of your demons and he knew how to make you feel better for a while.

“I don’t know. He wants me to go with him, but that would mean leaving everything here. I don't know if I'm ready.”

“He loves you. I saw the way he looked at you, he really feels something strong for you. You really should go with him. It's a big opportunity and I think that It would be great for you, I mean it’s Japan!. And when you miss us, you can always take a plane and come back here, right? You have to go.” 

Calum was surprised by his own words and mentally cursed himself for opening his mouth. What had he done? And why? He loved you and promised himself not to let you go, but why did he say these things then? He didn't understand, he couldn't understand why those words had come out of him.

There was someone inside him who wanted to hurt him, someone he couldn't control and who would do anything to make him feel bad. It was the only explanation.

Or, Calum knew you wouldn't be happy staying. You had your friends, but they wouldn't be able to help you. They all had their own lives and no matter how much they loved you, they couldn't have stayed with you. He did, Calum would have done anything to cheer you up, but it wouldn't have been fair to you. You had your chance to be loved, to be happy and it would have been selfish of him to deprive you of all of that.

His answer had blown you away too. You didn't expect that from him and part of you didn't even want it. Something in you wanted him to tell you to stay, that he would take care of you and that everything would be fine. But he had his life now, he had a wedding to celebrate and a new life ahead of him and he couldn't be who you wanted him to be. 

After all, he was right. You could always have taken a plane and come back every time you missed your friends, you would have found a job there too and you would have lived your life, what you deserved, alongside an angel who would take care of you. You loved him, so much, and there was no reason to break his heart for someone who felt nothing for you.

“Yes, you're right. I think I'll go with him then. Thank you, I knew I could ask you.” You said with a bitter tone and a fake smile on your lips. Part of you wanted the guy to sense your harsh tone and to understand your disappointment, but the other part of you knew it wasn't his fault. 

As you told him before, you don't decide who you love. He fell in love with someone else and you too were with someone else. There was nothing left to be sorry about.

“You know you can always talk to me.” Calum answered and gave a faint smile. A strong tension began to form between you: inevitably something had broken, your relationship was no longer the same and it was useless to lie to yourself. Things would not go back to the way they used to and the boy felt a sharp pain in his chest; it hurted to think back to the old moments, the days spent together and the shared laughter. 

It was all gone, and no matter how hard you tried, nothing would return to its place. You were both happy to have found each other, yet something had gone wrong. The joy had lasted little, too little, and had left room for embarrassment and sadness.

And for the rest of the party, the words remained unspoken. You and Calum exchanged a few words and a few glances, but nothing serious and important. You continued to lose yourself looking at the moon, a few tears fell on your face but you were quick to dry it. 

That situation hurted, the constant feeling of not being right, of not knowing what you really felt. You wanted to leave but you wanted to stay, you loved your new boyfriend but still felt something for the guy by your side. You repeat to yourself that you were happy like that, but you really weren't.

The curly boy felt the same, but unlike you he kept swallowing his problems with alcohol. He was ashamed of himself, and not for the constant hungover he found himself in but for being so cowardly towards you. Once he would have told you everything, he would have confessed his feelings in the best possible way, promising to stay by your side and to be who he was before even if you didn’t feel the same way. But this new boy was different from the previous version of himself and he no longer recognized himself.

“I'm going home, I have a very bad headache and a relationship to save. I'll let you know the date we leave but I think it's close, from what I know he has to go there as soon as possible.” You said rising from the trunk and cleaning your jeans. Thoughts were racing in your head and you felt nauseated by the pain you were feeling. Maybe, once you got home, sitting on your comfortable sofa, things would be better. He would come back and you would make peace. You would tell him you were going with him and his smile would make it alright.

Calum seemed to wake up from the trance he was in and the kiss you gave him on the cheek before leaving made him sober all at once. It couldn't end like this.

He promised himself to make you stay and then advised you to leave. He got engaged to a girl but he was in love with you. This ongoing inconsistency was destroying him and he couldn't spend the rest of his life feeling like this. 

He had to react, do anything, because he couldn't go to sleep with the regret of not telling you the truth. You were brave, you confessed your feelings to him even though he was engaged, you continued this pact of truth even if it would hurt you, instead he pulled back like a coward, he preferred to hide his head in the sand like ostriches, even knowing that he would find nothing and that he would only be hurt. He had to at least try.

He had to do it, he had to tell you the truth. He owed it to you, you were so sincere and understanding with him, you stayed in spite of your broken heart and it was right for him to take on his responsibilities. In the worst case, you would have turned around and gone home, but you would have done it with the knowledge that, whatever happened, he would be there, ready to welcome you into his arms. He wouldn't stop believing in love and he wouldn't become a heartless cynic again, he would just accept his loneliness.

Because he would have been alone, yes. At home he would no longer have anyone waiting for him, because he would tell the truth to his girlfriend. She didn't deserve to live in a lie, she had wonderful dreams and she deserved to find someone who would help her make them come true, someone who would make her happy and who, above all, would love her. He couldn't do any of this, not anymore, but he could set her free. It would hurt her but it would help her achieve infinite happiness.

He knew she wouldn't say anything, she wasn't stupid and she understood everything, even before he understood it himself. She had stayed but she knew her place there, next to him, wouldn't last long. But she cared about him and had decided to help him, to accompany him as long as he needed it.

He understood that she knew the truth, the way she watched him cry from afar at the party was worth more than a thousand words.

He quickly pulled the phone out of his pocket and texted her. It was wrong of him to end it all like this, but he knew that soon everything would have changed and he had to be sure that he could be free, in whatever would happen, in joy or in pain.

I’m sorry. 

It was the only thing he was able to write. No words would have been enough. His heart ached but he knew he was doing the right thing.

It’s okay, Cal. 

She responded immediately, almost as if she knew what was going to happen that night.

I loved you. 

And it was true, there was a moment when he loved her, he was serious when he asked her to marry him, but it didn't last long and it wasn't enough.

I know, I loved you too. I’m gonna be fine and so are you. x 

He read that last message twice before turning off the screen and putting the phone back in his pocket. They would have talked in front of a cup of coffee and he would have apologized in person, but it wasn't the right time to think about it.

Calum turned and started running towards the direction you left, the faces of his friends looking at him confusedly but he just hoped to be in time, at least this time, this last time.

Rivers of tears kept flowing quickly from your eyes and you were mentally praying to be able to get to the car in time, so that you could shut yourself in and get rid of all your pain. Why did it all have to be so damn hard? You just had to pack a suitcase and leave for a perfect future.

Still, there was something wrong. Calum was wrong. Your feelings for Calum were keeping you from being happy and you hated him so much for giving you joy in all the years of your friendship. He was really your soulmate but you weren't his and that hurted more than anything else. 

You just wanted to forget everything, you wanted to forget the way he made you feel when he looked at you, the way his laugh made your days better and the way he swept your hair away from your face when the wind moved it.

You wanted to forget his big heart, the way he always cared about others first and then about himself, his kindness and the attention he paid to always keeping the door open for others when you entered a place.

“Doll, wait!” You heard him screaming behind you. The car was just a few meters away in front of you, just a few steps and it would all be over. You could have ignored it, pretend you didn't hear it, you could have gotten into the car and kept your heart from breaking again. But, instead, you turned around because the desire to see him one last time was big.

“I wanted to- wait, you’re crying!” The smudged mascara was hard to miss and Calum felt terribly bad and guilty to see you sad.

“Good job, Sherlock.” you said sarcastically while passing a hand under your eyes in hoping to remove the traces of your sadness.

“Wait, why are you crying? I did something, didn't I? If that's why-”

“What do you want, Calum? I'm going home and I'm in a bit of a hurry, so please speak.”

“S-stay.” Suddenly, he had forgotten how to speak. Or rather, he didn't know how to express himself. He wanted to tell you how his heart melted every time he saw you smile, the way his legs seemed to give up whenever he saw you. But seeing you there, in front of him, with eyes full of tears, made him think if he was doing the right thing.

“I told you, I'm not feeling well and I need to go home. Don't worry, I'll text you as soon as I feel better. I won't leave without saying goodbye.” You gave him one last fake smile as you turned around, then you unlocked the car with the keys as you approached it.

“No, no! You have to stay here with us forever, you can't leave for Japan. Stay here, please, stay.” Calum felt tears in his eyes as he spoke.

“I don't understand, just a couple of hours ago you told me that I should go because it's a great opportunity.”

“But now I'm asking you to stay. It's a good opportunity and it would surely make you happy but you have to stay, you can't leave.”

You were confused, more than confused. He kept saying it was a good opportunity but at the same time he wanted you to stay.

“I’m sad because I am sorry to leave you but it is because I love you, you are my best friends. I'll be fine, Calum, don't worry. And like you said, I can take a plane whenever I want.”

“You can’t leave.” There was something about seeing you go that way that made him believe that you weren't just going home but that you would be gone forever.

“You don't make any sense, really. I’ll text you later.” You said in a bitter tone opening the door of your car.

“Doll-” 

“What, Calum? What do you want? Why should I stay here, mh?” You were angry, you just wanted to leave and forget about everything. Being there was only making the pain in your chest worse and you couldn't take it anymore.

“Because I love you!” Calum screamed at the top of his lungs and, as soon as those words came out of his mouth, a weight seemed to be removed from his chest. Those words he was so scared about were out and there was no reason to regret it. 

“Shut up, Calum. You're drunk.” The curly haired boy's confession was a stab in the heart, that were words you really wanted to hear, but you wanted them to have a meaning, not to be an alcohol chatter.

“I'm not drunk. Or maybe yes, I'm a little drunk, but it only gives me courage. The words are mine, I really love you, doll. I was a coward not to tell you before, I thought I was too late, and maybe I am, but I don't want to live with the regret of not telling you anything.” You were stuck there, with the car door open and your feet unable to move. Was he sincere in what he said? You hoped so, with all your heart. 

He walked to you slowly, his eyes straight into yours, and you didn't move.

“I'm looking right at the other half of me and I was stupid to believe otherwise. You are exactly what I need and what I want. I love you and I’ve always done, but I've never been able to admit it. But now that I'm sure, I don't want to spend another day without you.” Calum was now in front of you, his face a few inches from yours. You could feel his breath on your skin and his eyes shone sincerely.

“Tell me you don't feel the same and I swear I'll let you go. But even if a small part of you still feels something for me, stay. Because I don't want to spend another day without kissing you and without having you close by my side. I want to keep you close at night and not only when your demons get too strong or when you fall asleep in my house, but always. I want to shout it out to the whole world, tell everyone that I was wrong but that I found the right way home.” 

You didn't need to dig or think - you loved Calum. You always did and despite everything, you still loved him deeply. So, you approached his face and kissed him. Your hands intertwined behind his neck as he gripped your hips tightly, for fear that this wasn't real. 

“I love you.” You whispered close to his lips and he kissed you again with his still smiling lips. Everything was right now, every piece of the puzzle was in place and your heart no longer hurted, it was full of love, a love given by the right person.

Calum had grown up with you over the years and you learned how to read him, you knew he was really feeling what he was saying both with words and with his body. His eyes were filled with tears and his heart was pounding, his face was finally relaxed. There was no more pain and worry to devour him and if there was a mirror, you were sure it reflected the same in your image. You foolishly faced hell but were able to reach heaven together. 

For a brief moment, you thought back to the little you, that thirteen year old girl who dreamed of her prince charming saving her and you were happy to have made her proud, because Calum was that prince that had saved you, not from a dragon that breathed flames, sure, but from a life without his presence.

He was stubborn, sometimes grumpy and forced you to go for walks when you just wanted to stay home on the couch, but he was also the same guy who bought your favorite snacks so you always had them for you when you went to visit him, it was the same man who stayed on the phone with you because you were scared, with your position constantly updated on the phone, when you had to walk at night and he couldn't accompany you, and it was the same human being who made you tolerate the world a little bit more.

Closing your eyes, you could see your white satin dress slowly sweeping across the floor, during your wedding day, as you slowly dance with him, while your friends look at you proud and happy, with tears in their eyes and with the knowledge that your souls would have finally belonged to each other for eternity.

You could hear fireworks from a distance and you didn't know if they were really there or if it was the thrill of finally being in his arms. What would happen now? He was engaged and you had a boyfriend, would you have become his girlfriend? And what would happen to the others?

Your boyfriend had been so kind to you, he loved you and he was an angel to you, he didn't deserve the pain you would cause him. And his fiancée, she had the biggest heart you've ever seen, she was sweet and wanted to get married more than anything else. What if she didn't find anyone else? Did you ruin her dream?

Calum noticed your sudden mood change and grabbed your chin with his fingers, leading you to look him in his eyes. “Where are you going? Get back here. What's going on? We can sort it out.” 

“What about your fiancèe? She wants to marry you and-” Calum smiled at seeing you so worried, he loved the way you always thought about how others would be, how they would feel and knew that you would sacrifice yourself to see others happy. 

There was no need for it anymore though, this time you could have been happy, it was your turn and he could only feel joy. He felt sorry for the girl he had left at home, but he was sure that everything would work out for the best. And if it hadn't happened, you would still have stayed by his side and that was the important thing.

“She knows and probably knew before me, as well as your boyfriend, they are not stupid and we’ll sort it out. She deserves better and probably you too, but I won't let you get away. I don't want to lose you anymore. I will learn to be at your level and I'll make sure I'm always at my best, you deserve everything good about this world and I'll make sure to give it to you.” 

Calum wrote song lyrics and knew how to use words, but what he said was not trivial. Like all the things he did, his words also had a profound meaning. Everything he said he really meant and you knew he would change for the best for you, even if there was no need. He was perfect the way he was and there was nothing about him that you wanted to change. He was your Calum and you didn't need anything else. Everything would be fine.

New tears began to fall from your eyes and you didn't bother wiping them away. There was no need to be ashamed, you were happy and there was no reason to hide it. Calum began to laugh at the sight of you crying, he knew you were finally happy and he felt like his heart was about to explode for all the love and joy he was feeling. You were there in his arms and there was no other place where he wanted to be. 

This is what love feels like, he finally knew. 

“Will you ever stop crying?”

“No, I don't think I'll ever stop.” You smiled looking at him. 

Calum pulled a lock of hair behind your ear and grabbed your face with his hands. His gaze was straight into your eyes.

 “It’s okay, as long as I'm the one who wipes all your tears away.” And his lips were on yours again.

-----

[katsuhera]

I still stand by my decision that Jean would 10/10 hit you up in the club and offer to buy you a drink after checking you out ☺

And please, you can have zhong on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays, childe on Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays, and on Sunday have them both HAHAHAHAA

But for real I think I'm gonna go spend some cash on kokomi bc she's so pretty and URGH, I love her already. And Raiden Shogun is so badass too omggggg

- 🔥

please jean doing that to me is literally the dream jkdsbkjsdbfksf

not the alternating zhong and childe days HAHAHAHA

and yeah omfg i literlly just. want everyone. and gorou and thoma and everyone else when they come out. i'm not even treating this game like a game anymore it's just becoming about how many chars i can collect 😭😭😭

[adviceandemotionalsupportblog]

Need Opinions!!!!

Ok so I have a friend and they haven’t spoken to their mother in years. And I am about to tell you why.... (And don’t worry she has given me permission to do this!)

So their mother did all these things:

1. She used to neglect my friend as a child even when they cried and was hurt.

2. She used to HIT my friend and then one time her mother lifted her arm around my friend and she flinched away because she was frightened and you know what her mother said? She turned around and told her “I’m not going to hit you, you dickhead” and then LAUGHED AT HER!!!! (What mother DOES THAT???) (And also one of her siblings was there when this happened and remembers their mother laughing!!!) 

3. She manipulated my friend against her own father and made her home life a living hell!!

4. She manipulated my friend so she wouldn’t suspect that she was STEALING THEIR MONEY!!!!!! (And her grandmothers money as well!!)

5, She admitted to my friend that she was CHEATING on her father and then took her to this mans house and SLEPT WITH HIM while she was there!!! (She could hear her mother doing “it”.....)

6. She then abandoned her family and IGNORED my friend for two years and then out of the blue messaged her when a pet DIED and pretty much told my friend that “She was bad person” and her mothers whole attitude was “get over yourself and mourn my pet!!” Her mother didn’t even ask how she was doing or if she was ok.... She went STRAIGHT for trying to make my friend feel guilty for not talking to her!!!!!!

7. She continued (only after her pet died) to stalk my friend and her siblings by making more facebook accounts (and my friend and her siblings continue to block them all!) so she can continue to try to guilt trip all of them into talking to her!!!!

8. Her mother also said that “they didn’t have money for groceries” yet they had inheritance money that my friends mother was using.... to buy things for herself.... and she knows this because her mother told her she was using it to buy things “only because her father was using it to buy stuff” but told my friend NOT TO TELL HER FATHER SHE WAS USING THE MONEY. My friend asked her brother  who told her that they used their own money NOT THE INHERITANCE!!! And after her mother abandoned them she noticed how her mother never stopped buying things FOR HERSELF yet at the same time was telling her and her siblings that “they didn’t have money for groceries.”...... My friend never really noticed how her mother contradicted herself like that.....and only noticed when it was too late....

9. Her mother also used to gamble FOR YEARS and tell her and her siblings not to tell their father because “he was an asshole”.... her mother had no job.... and was having government funding (child support) which was only $500 a fortnight or so and her mother gambled every weekend.... Sometimes spending $500 in one weekend!!!!!!! And her telling my friend no to tell her father suggests she wasn’t just using her own money for gambling......  

And there’s so much more... Believe it or not!!! But I won’t mention the rest.....

Anyway along with making fake FaceBook accounts my friends mum send HER FRIENDS to bother her and try to make my friend talk to her mother.... CLEARLY they have no idea what really happened!!!

So recently my friend had enough and sent some audio messages to one of her mothers friends who had tried contacting her and her siblings.... telling this friend everything that her mother did to her (including some things I haven’t mentioned here!!!!) And her mothers friend sent the audio messages to the mother... These are audio messages of my friend LITERLLY CRYING HER EYES OUT OVER ALL THE SHIT HER MOTHER DID!!!!!!!! Saying how she was SO UPSET that her mother didn’t love her and saying things like “why?? why didn’t my mother love me???” and “why would she do this???” (And I don’t blame her!!! What loving mother could DO THINGS LIKE THAT?????) (And yes I heard the audios myself and they’re heartbreaking!!!!!)

THIS was her mothers response!!!!!!!!

Now... What EXACTLY has she missed??? She saw FIRST HAND what her mother was like!! But here she is dodging the question!!! Trying to make my friend feel GUILTY yet again for not talking TO HER ABUSIVE MOTHER!!!!!! (I feel that she is 100% justified in not talking to her mother!!!!!!!) Her mother is clearly trying to manipulate my friend by going into “poor me, my child won’t talk to me” mode!!!!!!! 

Anyway I would like to see other peoples opinions on this!!!

What do YOU guys (the people of tumblr) think of all this and the message she got from her mother? 

Also how do you think my friend could be “missing something.” (Personally I think her mum is just being manipulative!!!!)

I really need your thoughts!

[super-writer-gal]

J, O, S, and Z if you feel like ranting ;)

i am always up to ranting, you know me so well ;)

J: Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

i saw the adventure zone all over my dashboard, because a lot of people i followed listened to it, and i didn’t really think i’d ever really get into it? because i have a hard time listening to podcasts/paying attention long enough to actually get into it. and then my coworker started recommending it and this quarantine gave me way too much time on my hands, and i figured i’d give it a shot. and now i love it so much, and planning out a cosplay for one of the characters, so i guess i should thank tumblr for reblogging all that fanart onto my dash lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

atm “work song” by hozier gives me aziraphale/crowley vibes, but to be honest everything reminds me of them if i try hard enough. i’m still at the point where i’ll twist anything and everything to try and fit crowley and aziraphale lmao. OH i also saw an animatic to “accidently in love” with them that i’m obessesed with, that song fits them so well 

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

while i love the idea that crowley is touch starved, i personally love the hc that aziraphale is the one who is touched starved. this headcanon came from the show -- tbh in the book i think those losers are holding hands every chance they can get, so this doesn’t apply to them -- but yeah in the show heaven is this wide, empty place and the angels don’t even touch aziraphale unless they’re hitting him on the shoulder as a “friendly gesture” or punching him in the stomach, and nothing else and my poor boy needs a HUG,,, i’ve read so many good fics where aziraphale is put into isolation as a punishment which is Not Good for him, because he’s a rather social creature (so long as they’re not trying to buy his books) and he wants to help, so when he comes out he’s a Mess. and i really like that lmao. 

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

okay i’m going to do a 180 and talk about doctor who because i’ve been rewatching it and i have a Lot of Feelings, but i really miss donna and GOD they did her so dirty 😤😤 she was my favorite, and i loved how she didn’t have a romantic relationship with the doctor, because don’t get me wrong i love doctor/rose, but tbh when they tried to force martha into falling in love with the doctor, i did not vibe with that. martha could have been so much better if she wasn’t stuck on the doctor. like if she was more like donna, with a platonic relationship she would have been unstoppable. (also ten treated her so bad, we get it you’re still mourning rose but respect martha or die by my sword). anyway making donna forget about the doctor and go back to her old life where she was miserable was literlly the worst thing you could do to her, donna grew so much with the doctor and it’s erased just like that?? @bbc bring her back you coWARDS. also i still say bill should have stayed on with 12 longer, i loved her so much (i guess i was so unused to a companion only staying a season bc amy, rory and clara all had such long runs?? crazy). i’m also gonna go out on a limb and say if they kill off anyone of the newest companions i WILL sue the bbc (graham said “it’s not the monsters that’ll kill me, it’ll be worrying about you” as a little offhanded line but i SWEAR if that’s foreshadowing i will fight the bbc)

[plancegarbage]

Okay but even when Lance found out about Pidge being a girl he never went after her in a romantic sense. Yea some might think it’s counterproductive but think about it.

Lance quite literlly hit on any female. He’s not bothered by alien species in fact on multiple occasions he has pursued females from other species.

For example Nyma. The Bi Bo Bis ( I hope I spelled that right)

The point is, he does not prefer human features to others.

So why didn’t he hit in Pidge? She was always around him. Some might say that he didn’t do it because Allura was around, but that NEVER bothered him before.

He respects her too much to go after her like he goes after other girls. Also, the writers said that lance will end up with not someone he wants, but rather someone he needs.

[ahoplessgaydiary]

weeeeell fuck.

today has gotten even more shitty!! I got punched in the face and hit by my 8 year old sister which was fun. she really doesn't know what boundaries are and beats me up quite frequently. The thing is, she screams her head off if I hit her back and I get in trouble with my mum! I'm so sick of it.

At work again today, I swear I work all the time. Its getting stressful. Especially with exams. I just wanna get away from it all, like anywhere. I can't take a break anymore. Like I just want to run away home but I still don't know where home it. ITS SO FRUSTRATING.

Anyways, I spent 30 mins in the fashion rooms with my SO. Omg their amazing at sewing!! like they are honestly so talented, I have no idea how I'm dating them!!

I love their best friend too, she's so much fun. I wish i had a best friend. I haven't had one in about 2 years but that might be cuz I'm picky. There's this guy Tom. He's really nice and goes along with my shenanigans and he's getting quite close! Honestly it is like having proper friends again!!!!

Im literlly still recovering from quarantine with the friend situation.

OMG THERES A CAT. HER NAME IS TIG

she's one of the shop cats and came up to me while I was typing this. I've been blessed!! 🙏🙏😭😭

[toniflackus]

#TONIFLACKUS THE QUEEN GOAT LIFE STORY SHE WRECKED HER OWN SHIT UP AND OWNS UP TO IT RESPECT THIS SHIT BITCH

tHIS STARTED OUT AS MY LINKDN SUMMARY AND TURNED INTO MY LIFESTORY ENJOY MY CRAZY ASSHOLE MY LUVS

Transgender gamer girl epic famous streamer on #twich #youtube #facebook #younow. I'm 33 medically retired from the USAF for #bipolar disorder #badconductdiscarch for drug use and selling drugs to my EXwife how set me up with USAF OSI. I have been on a computer for over 28 years working with programming and computer #gamers. I focus only on #MMORPGs. My first #MMORPG was #Runescape look me up  #tflackus #tonyflackus #tonyflackuss im in the TOP #HISCORES of all time :) I started playing #WorldOfWarcaft in 2006 when i joined the #USAF as a #SERE_Instructor I began endgame raiding by 2007 by starting the #guild #NoLifer we were the first to complete the #40ManRaid #QueenButKingAtTheTime. During this time I was a #proSkateboarder for #GlobeShoeCompany while working at #Hy-Vee as a #produceManager. At the age of 17 I graduated #ShawneeMissionNorth @KansasCity while attending #Kstate for #computerProgramming won 6 #contest with my #JAVA abilities. After I broke my ankle and #getWrecked by knee nolle flipping a #13stair i left home with the #USAF to #Japan. I failed out of #SERE training on purpose because im not #HARDCORE and didnt want to be #SpecialOPS so i got a job as a #AircraftFuelSystemMechanic. I won the #SeniorAirmanBelowTheZone in 2009 and sewed on #StaffSargent within 4 year of #MilitaryService.  After 2 years at #kadenaAFB,Japan I when to #KunsanAFB Korea where I launched over 2000 Aircraft #Sorties for #GlobalWarOnTerrorism during this time I was able to get 3 #IncentiveRides on my favorite Airplane the #F-15 that was quite the experience going #mock5 in the air upsidedown lolz! I then went to #NewMexico to #crosstrain into #CyberSecurity I sewed on #E5/StaffSargent and when to #Mississipi for my #CompTIASec+ certificated this test has been the only thing I have ever had to study for in my life its that #HARDASFUCK! I scored at 890/900 the highest they have ever had by the end of my study routine I have over 2,500 notecards of various computer security topics. At my new #USAF+Base in #albuquerque#NM I ran the Crypto/Information Assurance office for the whole base reported directly to the #Commander of the #USAFWING. IP failed alot due to lack of training #USAFSUCKS. In 2012 I attempted suiced for the first time #LIFEisHARD. I slit both wrists from hand to elbow and stabed myself 8 times 3 in each arm and once in the belly and once in the heart #IMCRAZY. #Hospitalized for over 2 years in #Texas at #MilitaryStarUnit @WitchitaFallsTexas. After 6 months of constance observation and IQ tests/Personality Tests they diagnosed me with Sever #ADHD #BiPolarDisorder #MajorDepression and started me on my first over dose of #Adderall I was instantly addicted it made my brain feel #Normal I would get all the girls in the #MentalHospital to give me thier dose #QueenAsAKing. After 9 months i was discharged and moved to #WitchtaKansas @McConnell AFB because there was a big #Stigma with #Depression with the #military. Here my exwife @Amanda and got divorced after she caught me #DressingAsMySelfABeautifulWomen #ThatFuckedMeUp. I got #severlyDepressed and tried to #shootMyself #HOWtheFuckDidIMiss but i did and went and asked for #HELPMEPLZBITCH then i went to the military Star UNIT in KansasCityKansaS and got 100% sober no more #Adderall #Acid #coke #meth #weed #alcohol #cigerets #spice #K2 #heroin #YEAHiDidITAllSon. I went #GODMODE on life was more #MANIC then ever i learned how to control my #BloodPressure and could purposely raise it to well over 250 over 150 to scare the shit out of the #Nurses loz #BOSSBITCH! The director of the #Hospital told me to #STARTartTherapy because I #REFUSED to #talkAboutMyEmotions in #Therapy and I did. For the first time in my life I felt #Artistic with my #ZENARTWORK #TATTOODESIGNS. After 3 months I started #communicating with the #FUCKINGTHERIPIST and #THATKINGOFAMAN told me that I was a #ENFJ and i was like #IDONTGIVE2SHITSDUDEHURRYupIMissMyWoWGuilDies then he explaned to me what that was and i was like im a #IntrovertYouFuckStain and he was like #STFUandListen and I finally did right before I was discharged he said I was going to come down from this #GODLIKE #MANIA and it was going to be bad unless I took #BiPolarMeds and I said #GOEATADICKnoMoreDrugsForToni. I was discharged one week after my first sons 2nd #bDay #AtticusWasSad so was I. I went baCk to @McConnelAFB to live in my 3,000 SQ house all by myself #LONELYASFUCK I was #MAnic for the next 3 Months sleeping once a week eating #Japaneze curry on the weekend and nothing during the week #WorkedHARDASFUCK for the #SHITTYUSAFMILIARY #GOTNORESPECTFORMYWORK #SUPERVISORDIDNOTCAREABOUTMEBECAUSETHEYCAUGHTMEDRESSINGUPASAGIRL #TRANS_ISSUES. JUST LIKE THE DOCTOR SAID THE MANIA WORE OFF AND #HOLYFUCKINGSHITDIDREALITY HIT #HARDASATONOFBRICKS BUT TONI WAS DONE FUCKING AROUND WITH #SUICIDEATTEMPTS SO #TONI RESEARCHED HOW TO KILL MYSELF WITHOUT ANYPAIN FIGURED OUT HOW #I3WONTTELLYOU TOOK #1MONTH TO ORDER THE #SUPPLIES FOR VARRIOUS #3RDWORLDCONTRIES THEN SET UP MY #DEATHBED AND SET IT ALL UP LAID DONE WAS GOING TO PRESS THE BUTTON BUT THEN #JESUS #LITERLLY TOLD ME NOT TO #cantExplainTheFeelingAllOfASuddenFeltLikeLiving but i choose to start doing #adderal again. #adderall worked for 6 months then #THISBITCH needed more #MORE and I met a #drugDealerGirl #shewasBBWBlackGirl and yes we #hooke3dUP. Started doing a drug called #TONY lol yea im suck a #BADBITCH they named this synthetic cocane after me #QUEENTONI. #DUMBASSEXWIFE learned of my drug use and #Snitched on me to #USA_OSI they set up a #StingOperation and I #SOLDDRUGS TO MY #FUCKING3EX. #THATWASDUMB #mILITARY STARTED DOING 24 HOUR SURVALANCE ON MY HOUSE AND TAPPED MY COMPUTERS AND PHONE BUT #TONIKNOWBITCH BUT #TONIWAS #PYCOTIC DUE TO #DRUGS SO i keept doing them anyway I would get #FUCKADRUGTEST everyweek and I told my #commander Im test #positive for #WEED/METH/COKE/ACID/ADDERAL AND THEY SAID WELL THEN STOP AND I SAID #iCANTINEEDHELPSENDMEBAcKTOHOSPITALPLZSIR AND THEY SAID #fUCKYOUWIERD. BASICALLY because they knew i dressed like a women at home they refused to help me to push me at of the #fuckingMilitary! After 4 months of being constatly watched my #anxiety was #rediculy and i was #ready to us the #DEATHMACHINEiMade but my #drugDealingGirlFriend convinced me to #runaway with her. so I went #AWOL #LOLRUNTONIRUN  QUITE unsucsessfully i might add i was on the #road for #3wholeDays when i got caught at #GAMESTOP selling my #3DS for some #FOODMONEY SO I COULD #FEEDMYGIRL THEY BUT ME IN MILITARY JAIL. While in #jail the onlything to do was @artwork #ZenTangle #tattoo designs so that is what i did #InowSellMyArtBTW50$for my big pieces #20$for littleones #gottamakeThatMoney The onlything i could do was read but the only #fuckingbook they had was the Fucking  #bible and i was a #scientific person so i was like #fuckthatshit but i eventually did pick it up and starting reading it like ascience gbook so like i was like im prove this shit #WRONG AS FUCK but i started to #believeINGOD like WTF i was like this is like a book of LIFE and it changed my #MYLIFEBRO so i read the whole #FUCKINGBIBLE word for word includeing leviticus which is just a bunch of wieghts and measure @LOLLS my favorite passages are the #job #eclisiasties i swear to GOD and JESUS that #eclisiasties was #BIPOLAR and #ADHD like me basically his life was devoted to finding #HAPPINESS in all aspects like money women art and i can relate i have been very successful but was never happy untill i found #JESUS lol its crazy for 25 years i was a anthiest but after reading the bible for myself i found my faith in a HIGHER power before that i was the #MUTHAFUCKINGHIGHTPOWERBITCH i was sooo smart and i could do anything i fucking #SETMYMINDtoooo :))) but that is not tru i could not stope #ADDERAL without #GOD and now that i have #GOD is till #FUCKMYOWNLIFEUPONTHEDAIly lolz but hey we all have to learn somewhy right but for #TONI i have to learn from self harm lolz my like #HARDBUTEASYIFIListenToMyself i give amazing life advicce but have a #FUKCING hard time doing it #myself :P as i was reading the bible i relised two things!! right so the first was the jesus is a THE fucking #KINGofGoats right all that mutherfucker did was #HELP #everybody right he didnt care if you got dick in your ass or [pussy he didnt care if you masterbated he didnt care about marking your body with tattoo he just #LOVED right but the FUCKING #aposiles or his #FOLLOWERS well they put human thought into his message of love and fucked it all up they put resrtictions on love and on gods love #FUCKTHATSHIT #GOD loves his one and only son like i love my two son and his son #JESUS says love love love #BITCHLOVEisAllYouNeedToDoToGetIntoHeaven love jesus accept him and when you die you will be with #THEKINGHIMFUCKINGSLEF right so the otgher thing is that #GODISADICKRIGHT lolssss hekilled his own son lol #THAT IS FUCK UP right i would never is #JESUS told me to harm my son i would #GOTOTHEDEVEL lol :) but #GODISAPINMP right what does god #DO well #godDOESWHATHEWANTS lol so i learned the #TONI is like #GOD guess what i do in life i was created by #god and i will live like both #JESUS and #god i will #LOVEYOUALLMUTHAFUCKERS and i will #DOwhatIFuckikingWant that reminds me #TwitchCanSuckMyFemalCokeWhile i still have it for trying to IPBan me fuck you I tried to get a job with you and got an interview and you said my #PAST was too much #FUCKTHATSHIT :P so fuck you I will become so famous that I #TAKE all you viewers and port them to my own website im designing bitch #www.toniflackuslive24/7.com :P fuck you @twich :P where were we oh yea i was in jail for the fist time doing art and reading the bible so now that that happen i was like wayyyyyyyy sucidal so i was like how #DaaaFuck do i #KILLmySelf in jail when they wont even let me wear clothes lol for real i was naked in my jail cell cuz i was #suicidal they would watch me eat and only give me a plastic spoon lik WTF i did even get a blanket or mattress i slept on the #FUCKING #METALBED i still haVe back problem because of that shit for 33 days i went thourgh hell and #JESUS is the only thing that keep me going but after a while #Jesus was not enough i found a way to #killMyself i bent the copper pipe off the tolet by putting my arm around it and flexing #atTheTime im jittery because i abused aderall for 8 years i did 210 mg a day i would stay up for weeks at a time you fuck yes adderal is sythetic pharmacudical meth and its powerfull 210 mtg would kill most people via heart attack now i have to check my blood pressure and if it getting above 175 over 110 i have to drink #BEER to calm down ok lets  play bdo sorry #readers i was oon my twitch!! ok back to the story at hand let me put on so music **break from lifestory and im do rado facts** #######################Rando FACTS about your #ToniISTheFuckingQueenGOAT######### 1) I dont kno the english alphabet but i do the the japanese one 2)I didnt learn to read or write until i was in 3rd grade 3)i have been sexually active from the age of 12 4)my first girlfriend was 16 and she would put stuff in my ass and i loved it!!!! 5)im ambidexterious which means i can do stuff with both hand *wink* *wink* 6)my nickname in los angles was "Blackus" because i only had black friends so i was a big time Wigger lolz 7)i wrote my first java program when i was 7 years old it was a worm that multipled on a hardrive until it was full i ran it on my step dads network and he beat the shit out of me for a week lol #bossbitch 8)my stepdad i call him KEVdad was a CIO for the Shawnee mission school district and we had the backup sever farm in our basement so i have been a #NETWORKADMIN since the age of 5 9)in the metal hospital i hacked thier computer and gained #ROOT lvl access with the first week of being there i allowed all the #patients to look at #porn #lolz i got banned from using the computer but i never gave them the #ROOTPASSWORD back lol!!! to this day i can log into thier network :P 10)i have always been transgender i have a female life prospective and a female brain 11)i have yet to have sex with a man mutually i have been raped 5 times 12)i dont like my penis never have 13)im getting my sex change in Tailand when i earn eno money 14)i stream on chaterbate look up trangendertoni 15)i havent had sex in 3 years lol yes that is why im sooo randy #lolhornybitch 16)i have a boyfriend his name is ricky and he will be the first one to get me :) he is a famous streamer #Reaper_kings_ 17) i have 2 sons Atticus James Flackus 8 years old luca Efften Flackus 5 years soon old 18) i was born on december 25 1987 19)i have been a video gamer for over 27 years i only play RPG game and even then they have to be japanese style not american li8ke skyrim i own every single jap RPG that was ever made 20) i wrote the first guide on #gamefaqs for FFVII me and my friend @archon009 found the bug that let you #DUP item and we posted it back in 1997 :P 21) i play FFVII every year and max out the materia and lvl up all char to 99 and get all ultimate weapons 22) i was a beta tester for Runescape World of warcraft and BlackDesert online 23)i need to pee fuck me i wish i had a cathitor 24)my resting blood pressure is 140 over 90 25)i can read and write in japanese better than english 26)i have 78 paid for Black Desert Online account i have spent over 250,000 USD on ingame items and accounts lol #BOSSLVLSPENDING 27)my current exWife used to beat me up for spending money on video games 28)i have been to jail twice one for selling and doing drugs in the #USaF and then most recently was released from jail after 23 days for threatening to kill @angel colon for calling me a trans faggot #FUCKTHATGUY 29)i eat maybe once a day sometimes i dont eat :P 30)i smoke over 100 cigs a day yes i will die of cancer 31) im still writeing rando facts about myself guys if you wanna read the whole thing go to @facebook goolgle #toniflackus 32) my best friend @rob "the steamboat" fulton is deaF so i learned sign laungange at a young age you will see me do alot of it on steam i miss him #ALOT but now that im a #GIRL he dosnt talk to me 33)i have 2 sister amber 35 andrea 40 and one brother adom 39 we were all in the #USAF #Amber Casados my sister is the only one that talke to me after i came out 4 months ago #transgender my mom #DISOWNEDMYASS and my #STEPDAD said he would #KILL me if i came to visit #IWOULDKILLHIMFIRSTBITCH #lol 34) i have been on estogen and testoterone blockers for 4 months 35) im bipolar with phycotic featurs which means i tend to go #MANIC and stay that 3wasy for DAYS #IMHIGHASFUCKWITHNODRUGSBITCH 36)my most priced possestion is my newly forming boobds lol :) i love them i wont ever get fake boob not that i dont like #BIGTITAREFUNTOPLAYWITH its just i want natural little titties :P 37) all my #twitchmoney i give away #GIVEAWAYS WEEKLY 38) my ex @kayleigh Anh Daniels was a #SUPERMODEL 39 my first wife @Amanda Lynn Jennings was a weed dealer and was being abused by a house full of guys eet off craiglist and she came over and we fucked and then i found out about all that shit that was happening i left my USAF job within minutes and went over and bitch the shit out of lik 4 dudes and took her home with me we got married the next month 40) i have done every drug that i have researched and goten my hands onto my fav #DOC (drug of choice) is adderal 41)i have not done an illegal drug is 7 years and stop3ed abuseing my adderal 7 months ago i have told all my doctors that im a #DRUGADDICT and not to prescribe anything addictive #DAMiRegretSayingThat #missThatAdderalHIGH 42)i stream my whole life 24/7 even when im banned from #twichIsABtich i stream on #facebook #younow #youtube #multipleTwitchAccount just google #toniflackus 43)i was on the FBI most wanted list for going AWOL because i held the highest security clearance within the military because i worked directly on the SIPRnet the (secret)(topSecret) intranet of the Department of Defence they found me within 3 days 44) twitch is going to find with within the next few hours so #FUCKME lolz im try and log into my main twitch toniflackus #LETS{PRAY IT WORKS #NOPE STILL BANNED #im take a break if you wanna read all this shit im writing go to my facebook toniflackus #smokebreak im go outside and get some fresh air guys luv you #missmyBoyfriend #missmySons #missmyExwife #ok this shit is too much #emotions #imply video#games

#THATSUCKSBIGDICKSANDDIRTYHAIRYONESTHATLOOKFUNNY!!!    ###MORE TO COME IF YOU WANT###

[jackalopefreckles]

Bad roommate anon(I don't remember what my thing was) I got a fine for requesting a new roommate and they informed her about it so now I'm hiding in my friends room because I don't want to end up beat up.

what the fuck?? did you tell them how she literlly hit you and shit what the fuckk

[moseymonster]

Just a funny thought I had this morning

I've had three what I like to call funniest moments as a guy gay. One being how straight girls get so offended if I don't find them attractive; like bitch if I think you're ratchet that's my opinion but it's not like you're going to be someone I plan on sleeping with or dating so chill. Like I had a girl at my old job get SUPER offended because i wasnt arrracted to her to the point of being legitimately mad at me for like a week. Two is how a handful of straight guys are all oh I'm ok if you're gay but just don't hit ok me. But like ten seconds are asking if they're asking if I think they're attractive and if I say no its this huge debacle like please if you don't want me hitting on you don't worry about me finding you hot or not. Literlly knew a guy not too long after I graduated high school that was concerned as to what was so unattractive to me about him, like calm down you're just not my type. The last one, and probably my favorite, has to be how I'm not exactly the most loud and obvious of the gays but I feel it should be fairly noticeable. Yet my friend kim and I have gone to do karaoke at 4 different bars and every time people think she's my girlfriend. Like to be fair I'm at at normal bar but she's married and I'm usual blatantly staring at the hottest guy in the room, need I make it any more obvious.

[badcompany669]

3/24

i might have totallyjinxeed it. it was going so well and the sex was pretty good idk what happened bc i guess hes seeing someone else. im so unelievabley crushed.i dont know what i did to deserve tis. it started one night when he ent to his car to talk to his "friend" im not fuccking dumb hello obviously i sensed something was up. it hit me and i took a really sad shower and then waiting in bed. he came in suprised i was still up. fucking douche. that night was going good too until we went to go get food and he was fucking messaging some whore on snap like fuck me right. then the next night we got drunk as fuck and he went to go smoke and was on his phone so i sat on the couch and felt super sick and i went to yak in the bathroom for like 20 mins and then eventually i got in bed and i hear him come in and hes still talkin on the phonebut this time he puts it on speaker and hes telling her he cant wait to see her as soon as possible. fucking rot in hell. im literlly in bed just listening and i can her him talking about me "shes alright, shes here for the week."