#living in a hole in the ground like the hermit that i am

[eenochian]

fuckin MINECRAFT

[desolationsuperfund]

i am screaming i am dying i am fixated on things that happened years ago that make me feel both good and bad in a complicated way i am a hermit i am frozen i am stagnating i am growing i am pulling things out of my chest like nails on a chalkboard i am falling into a black hole i am waiting for better weather i am clenching my teeth i am cleaning the house i am just trying to have a good time i am not planning for the future i am draining my savings i am finally safe i am surrounded by friends i am seeing things clearer i am becoming more grounded and secure and self assured i am not trying to read minds i am questioning my memory i am stuck in my head i am sitting with uncertainty i am missing someone i am trying to let it go i am trying to hang on i am losing the plot i am sitting in my living room on a freezing february day i am scattered and absent i am having strange dreams i am playing it safe i am a statue i am someone's villain i am a protagonist i am doomed by the narrative i am frustrated i am trying to escape

[redorich]

-sidles into your inbox leisurely-

Hello Red, you know I love your writing, all your writing but specifically of course the writing you do answering my asks. I belive I already told you how you absolutely broke my hecking heart with your last answer and that I want to swaddle Phil. But let me just... Reiterate that. You made me cry. So much q.q

Okay, now to lead in to my actual ask: Can I has... More Ranboo? The last few stories have been dreadfully absent of his face and I miss my boi. Also, I just want to know what happens if he sleepwalks into the canyon. Just vwoops by all their traps, teleport out of holes at random and wakes up standing in the middle of one of their bases. He sleepily rubs his eyes, yawns. Then he notices that he's standing, which, oh no, means he's been sleepwalking again. So he looks around to find where he is and just sees like, half a Dozent hermits standing around him in a circle with their weapons drawn. Ranboo definetly doesn't yelp in a very high pitched voice.

-fidget

Ranboo yawns. He can already tell he’s been sleepwalking-- his body is tired and sore, like he’s been teleporting too much and then walking the rest of the difference. Well, he might as well open his eyes and assess the damage...

A mottled green creeper face with gunmetal gray plates of steel across one eye, which glows a menacing red, looms mere inches above him. Above him, because Ranboo finds himself on his knees with his hands laced behind his head in surrender.

“Oh jeez--!” he yelps, flinching back.

The creeper grumbles, hefting a trident in rough-hewn hand of the same mottled green as his face. Wait, a hand? “Oh,” Ranboo says, “you’re like Sam.”

“So you do speak,” the creeper-man says. His voice is a low rumble, not quite a rasp. “What are you doing here? I watched you teleport through all the village defenses, and I still can’t believe it.”

Ranboo titters nervously, eyeing the very sharp point of the man’s trident. “I, uh, sleepwalk.”

“Sleepwalk.” The man’s voice is flat and disbelieving.

“Uh huh,” Ranboo agrees, because quite honestly he’s aware of how ridiculous he sounds. In search of a distraction, he looks around the room.

There is no room; rather, they’re in a small dark corner of a gigantic cavern. Stalactites like teeth hang from the ceiling, creating a gigantic maw overrun with vines and damp lichen. The ground is coarse dirt and cobblestone and soft blankets of moss in between buildings which Ranboo recognizes with a unique sense of dread. The buildings themselves are little shops he has never seen before, lively and well-loved, but the style of building is, without a doubt, a match for the houses of the canyon village.

Ranboo looks back at the creeper-man with a gasp. “Are you the Hermit?” he says. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be here--”

“I am a part of the Hermit,” Doc says, repeating what Scar told Tommy. Despite himself, he can’t help but chuckle a bit.

A chill runs down Ranboo’s spine. “Listen, uh... I didn’t see anything, yeah? I-- I have memory problems anyway, I’ll forget I was ever here!”

Footsteps echo off the cavern walls. “Doc? You there?” says a voice. 

Both Ranboo and the Hermit jump. Rounding the corner of a hallway behind the two is a very tired-looking man, who wears a smile nonetheless. Of course, he’s also wearing sunglasses indoors, so. There’s that. The man sees the two hostile mob-people and freezes. (Ranboo doesn’t miss the man’s own not-so-human features.)

“Hello Doc,” the dog-man says. “Care to introduce me to your friend?”

From his place still on his knees in the dirt, hands behind his head and a trident pointed in his general direction, Ranboo watches in astonishment as Doc steps in front of him, between Ranboo and the dog-man.

“I see no one else here but you and me, Ren,” Doc says quietly.

Ren’s lip quirks up at one side. “Of course, I must have been seeing things. How silly of me.”

“Maybe you saw this?” Doc suggests, pulling something white out of his inventory and throwing it back into the hallway.

“Ooh, a bone!” Ren exclaims, and chases after it.

Laughing, Doc turns to Ranboo. “Over that way, across the room, there’s a hallway that leads to a white room. That’s the second atrium. Go through there and you’ll be on the surface.”

Ranboo nods rapidly, standing up. Doc lowers his trident, but apparently has one last thing to say.

“Do yourself a favor and forget what you saw.”

Ranboo laughs. “Don’t worry, I won’t have trouble with that one at all. As long as I don’t write it down in my memory book, your existence is a secret-- even from me.”

Ranboo heads toward the exit, keeping to the shadows. He should invest in a baby monitor, or perhaps better locks on his bedroom doors.

[theotherhufflepuff]

Simon Snow Trilogy Tarot Cards...

Ok so, a little while ago I saw this frankly stunning artwork by @vkelleyart and I started thinking about the Major Arcana archetypes and how characters from my favourite book series could fit into them.

So I made this list. It took a lot of thought and I’m still not 100% sure on some of them but I have explained my thought process for each card.

I don’t know how much crossover there is in the Venn diagram of “Simon Snow fans” and “tarot readers” but I’d love to hear your opinions and/or alternative suggestions (be respectful though, obviously). I’ve left “visual prompts” for most of the cards explaining what they looked like in my imagination and if anyone wants to draw any of these (or their own alternative version!) please tag me; it would make my day! I can’t draw for toffee so I am 1000% never gonna try to illustrate any of them myself.

List under the cut because it is loooong.

Spoilers ahead for the whole series!

0 The Fool - Shepard - Shepard just follows magickal creatures around and says “yes” to everything... he is the pure embodiment of the Fool archetype to me; care-free, innocent... prepared for everything and yet totally clueless. Visual prompt: Shepard about to (attempt to) step into the fog as he follows a fairy into the forest.

1 The Magician - Penelope - “Penelope Bunce is a fierce magician, I don’t mind saying” Baz, at least once in each book. Penny never worries about not having the power or words available to do whatever she wants; she is comfortable in her power and it is always there, ready to be wielded however she sees fit. Visual prompt: Penny wearing her Stevie Nicks cape, standing by a chalkboard in the classic “Magician” pose, ring clearly held aloft.

2 The High Priestess - Dr Mitali Bunce - Dr Bunce is possibly a more formidable magician than her daughter. Highly intelligent, straightforward and, let’s be honest, judgemental. But she does have all the answers. Visual prompt: Dr Bunce carrying around her laptop, phone sandwiched between her ear and her shoulder.

3 The Empress - Lucy Salisbury - Lucy exudes the nurturing, Earth Mother vibes that are central to the Empress archetype. She saw the best in everyone and all she wanted was to love Davy and live with him in their cottage with her chickens and their child. Visual prompt: Lucy, barefoot and pregnant, feeding the chickens outside of their cottage.

4 The Emperor - Lamb - This is one of the ones I’m not totally sure about. I went through a few different ideas but ultimately settled on Lamb as the “Vampire King of Las Vegas”. He is an imposing figure, ruling his city with an iron fist; if you are in his favour, Vegas is your playground, but cross him and you will suffer the consequences. Visual prompt: Lamb sits on an antique chair in his opulent suite at the Katherine, the lights of night time Vegas visible through the window behind him.

5 The Hierophant - The Mage - Again, this one took some thought and I’m sure some people will disagree with this interpretation... I’m not completely sold on it myself. The Mage was all about reforming the old traditions of the World of Mages and he amassed a following by doing so. But he turned out to be somewhat of a false prophet; abusing his power to oppress those he deemed “the enemy”. Visual prompt: The Mage in his Robin Hood costume, sitting at his desk at the top of the Weeping Tower, surrounded by his piles of banned books.

6 The Lovers - Simon and Baz - Obviously. As stated at the top of this post, I love @vkelleyart’s version of this card, but there are a lot of scenes across the series that could be used to illustrate this archetype. I personally always love to see the original “and then he kisses me” scene.

7 The Chariot - Fiona Pitch - I struggled with this one a bit and I don’t really think that this is the ideal version. But the image of Fiona, rolling up to Blackfriars bridge in her vintage sports car to rescue Baz from the Numpties really stuck with me so that’s what I went with, for lack of a better idea.

8 Strength - Ebb - Ebb is often dismissed and underestimated by other magicians but she is wicked powerful. But more than that, the Strength card is about inner strength, self control and the wisdom to know when to fight, and when to rest. Ebb is highly intuitive about the people - and goats - around her and is always careful not to talk about her twin brother, only conceding that she knows of his presence once a year and never giving in to the temptation to talk directly to him. Ebb saw the war coming and knew that she could probably end it all by herself with the power she had; but she also knew that she didn’t want that and she had the strength to say no, to eschew the expectations the rest of the World of Mages placed upon her and live quietly, instead. Visual prompt: Ebb in the hills behind the school with the goats, she wears a flower crown that the Dryad made her.

9 The Hermit - Agatha - the Hermit eschews the outside world in order to take an inner journey of self discovery, knowing that this is the only way to find real answers and achieve real growth. Agatha, jaded by the World of Mages, took herself off to California, leaving her wand at home. She didn’t know what she wanted but she knew it wasn’t magic. Visual prompt: Agatha sits on the beach at twilight by a small campfire, Lucy the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel by her side.

10 The Wheel of Fortune - The Crucible - The Crucible’s decisions, like the Wheel’s, are unpredictable and inevitable. Once it’s happened, you’re stuck with the consequences - sometimes bad (being stuck with a toff vampire who hates you) and sometimes good (getting the best room in Mummers house).

11 Justice - Natasha Grimm-Pitch - Natasha needed justice to find peace; her whole story is about justice. She was swift to act when the vampires attacked Watford, dispatching them without hesitation. When she came through the veil to find Baz and ask him to bring her murderer to justice, she knew that would also provide some closure for him, too, both for her death, and for his. Visual prompt: Natasha Grimm-Pitch appearing from beyond the veil, looking for Baz and finding Simon.

12 The Hanged One - Nicodemus - The Hanged One is about feeling stuck, but also about finding peace where you are when there’s nothing you can do about it. Nicodemus chose to cross over for eternal life, but he was stricken from the book; his (considerable) magic effectively taken from him and his fangs removed. He was stuck in between - not a full vampire, not a magician; he exists on the fringes of both communities. He got himself there and then he had to figure out how to get by, carve out a place for himself in order to survive. Visual prompt: Nicodemus sits in the tree in the garden of his mother’s house in South London, waiting for Ebb to come and sit on the empty bench beneath him.

13 Death - [scene on the Great Lawn] - Ok, so.. this might need some explaining. My immediate thought for this card was that it should be the Humdrum but Death is all about clearing out the old junk in your life that doesn’t serve you in order to make space for the new. And the Humdrum isn’t making space for anything. So I was thinking about times that has happened in the story and I thought about how the death of the Mage made room for real progress and an end to the war with the old families. Visual prompt: Penny and Baz (literally) run into a fleeing Agatha on the Great Lawn; the Weeping Tower looms in the background, the Mage and Simon visible through the blown-out stained glass windows.

14 Temperance - Simon and the Humdrum - Temperance is, as you might expect, about balance and harmony. Simon used so much magic at once that he couldn’t control it and it tore holes in the magickal atmosphere. Simon had to fill the Simon-shaped hole to restore equalibrium and stop the magickal firmament from collapsing altogether. Visual prompt: Simon kneeling in the Weeping Tower, pouring his magic into the Humdrum as he fades away.

15 The Devil - Smith Smith-Richards - The Devil is about feeling trapped by temptations in your life, often because we’re afraid of what we would do with the freedom we’d have if we let them go. Which got me thinking about Smith-Richards (that name never gets any less ridiculous) and all the magicians who were taken in by the temptation of “fixing” their magic. But it was a false promise and those magicians who narrowly escaped taking Smith-Richards’ spell were all freed from the idea of their magic being “broken” in the first place. Visual prompt: Smith-Richards (looking like the guy who would be cast to play Simon in the Netflix series) standing on a stage in the packed-out White Chapel, rapt audience hanging on his every word.

16 The Tower - The Humdrum - Originally I wanted to use the Weeping Tower for this card because the imagery is on point but the meaning doesn’t match. The Tower is about absolute destruction, the crumbling of something you thought core to your being. The Humdrum steals magic and renders magicians homeless because of it. The Tower is about having to start again from the ground up - just as the Grimms did when all the magic was drained from Hampshire. Visual prompt: The Humdrum, wearing Simon’s face, stands in the grounds of Pitch Manor, laughing. (I have always thought of the holes looking like a burn in a piece of paper - sort of glowing and smouldering at the edges as it eats away the atmosphere. I know the holes can’t actually be seen - the Normals would freak out - but that is imagery I would use here)

17 The Star - Lady Ruth’s candles - The Star is about hope and healing after the devastation of the Tower. Lady Ruth’s candles were a symbol of hope that kept her going when she thought she had lost her children. They provided comfort and, at the end when it became clear the Lucy was gone, the healing of knowing that her child had finally found his way home to his family. Visual prompt: Lady Ruth’s candles in front of a window, a bright star can be seen through the window.

18 The Moon - Agatha and Simon - So, the Moon is all about examining blurred lines between illusion and reality - nothing looks totally clear in the moonlight. It reminded me of how Simon never really seemed to have a clear view of his feelings for Agatha and what their relationship was. When he properly examined his feelings, he found that he didn’t love Agatha and was going through the motions because he thought it was what other people expected of him. Agatha was doing the same. It also brought to mind Simon, going out of his mind worrying about Baz when he was missing - as well as basically every other thought Simon ever has about Baz before Christmas Eve 2015 - and somehow mistaking it for hating him?? Simon is not stupid but sometimes he’s real dumb. Visual prompt: Agatha and Simon meet on the ramparts, both looking for Baz, and break up.

19 The Sun - Simon - This card is all about innocence, optimism and joy. Nothing about this series personifies this more than Simon flying above Shepard’s truck in America, feeling free and hopeful about the future for the first time in over a year. Visual prompt: Shepard’s truck drives through the vast empty desert, the sun beating down. Simon flies above the truck, joy on his face.

20 Judgement - Niamh and Agatha - Ok, this one was hard to figure out and this is maybe not the right solution, but I was very stuck. Judgement is about self improvement through self reflection. As a small twist on that theme; Niamh and Agatha challenge each other’s view of themselves and their interactions with the world around them. Visual prompt: Agatha and Niamh, sweating to death in Niamh’s “shitty Ford Fiesta” (I’m very salty about that line; my Ford Fiesta is lovely and it has aircon). Niamh is frowning, obviously.

21 The World - Simon, Baz, Penny and Shepard - The World is about completeness, the ending of a story, fulfilment and belonging. At the end of AWTWB, Simon has finally found his biological family, he is starting to accept that his boyfriend and his found family love him for who he is, magic or no, and he can finally start to imagine a future for himself. Baz has learned new information about his vampirism, Penny has found new confidence and Shepard is finally fully accepted into the group. Visual prompt: Baz, Penny and Shepard sit on Simon’s sofa (possibly still pink from Baz’s spell, possibly he spelled it navy blue again) Simon sits on the floor. They’re all eating leftover sandwiches and cake from Lady Ruth’s.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Writing request: bdubd and doc with the theme "chaos"

this one is a what if? kind of situation. in that it’s an alternate version of the whole blowing-up-the-goat-statue saga. hope you enjoy!

Requests are still open! Please read pinned post before requesting.

…

  It’s been three days since Bdubs accidentally blew up Doc’s GOAT statue. He’s been able to successfully avoid his neighbour ever since it happened, but he’s running out of time and he knows it. They live literally right next to each other; it’s only a matter of time before they run into each other again. 

  Bdubs is dreading that day.

  One morning, he hears a worrying noise from outside, a noise that’s familiar but he can’t quite place it. Arming himself with a single sword, Bdubs carefully emerges from his half of the house. 

  Three withers turn to face him. 

  His eyes widen with shock and fear. “WH-WHAT THE-?!”

  Two of them immediately launch their explosive skulls at him. Screaming, Bdubs dives to the side and scrambles into a small hole near the entrance to his mineshaft. 

  Chaos explodes around him. One of the withers zones in on him and starts blasting away at his hiding spot with skulls, while the other two fly around and fire off missiles haphazardly, destroying parts of the hill. 

  Finally, Bdubs is forced to abandon his hiding spot and bolt out into the open. He almost heads for his house but decides against it and dashes further up the hill, with three withers following him. There’s no way he can fight them on his own, so he just has to keep running and hope that either he loses them or someone comes to save him. 

  One of the explosive skulls hits the ground just behind his back foot, sending him tumbling forwards. He screams and scrambles backwards as three withers gear up to explode him into oblivion.

  But then someone appears in front of him with a shield, blocking him from the withers’ blasts.

  “D-Doc?!” yelps Bdubs. 

  “Run, quickly!” Doc yells back.

  Kicking himself into action, Bdubs scrambles to his feet and dashes further up the mountain, past the exploded remains of the goat statue. He can’t hide up here; sooner or later, one of the withers will lock onto him yet again and he’ll be killed immediately. There’s only one way out.

  Taking a run-up, Bdubs jumps off the overhanging peak of the mountain. 

  Thankfully, his aim is good, and he lands safely in the ocean. Though the impact and the sudden cold shock him, he’s able to swim to the surface and place the boat in his inventory. As he rows away, he glances back to check he’s not followed. 

  Less than a second later, his communicator buzzes. 

Docm77 withered away

…

  Bdubs stands, shivering, on the beach he landed his boat on. Way off in the distance, he can see the devastation caused by the withers. Thankfully, some of the other Hermits banded together to kill the withers, but their impact on his and Doc’s homes is clearly visible.

  “Hey, Bdubs.” 

  Speaking of Doc…

  Bdubs doesn’t turn around as an armourless Doc joins him on the beach, following his gaze towards the hillside they live on. 

  “That was… chaos,” Doc remarks. 

  “I can’t even be mad at you,” Bdubs sighs back. “I don’t have the energy. Plus, I deserve that.”

  Doc shakes his head. “No no, that went way further than I wanted it to. I didn’t think it would get this bad so quickly.”

  “The hilarious thing is that that’s exactly how I felt about the statue thing,” says Bdubs with a chuckle. “I was so caught up in the euphoria of pranking that I completely forgot to realise that “oh, this is a terrible idea”.” 

  Doc chuckles as well. “Yeah, I get what you mean. But still, I am sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “Hey, you were the one who died, not me.” Bdubs clears his throat awkwardly. “Thanks for saving me, by the way.”

  “It was the least I could do.” 

  The two stand in silence for a moment.

  “So I kinda destroyed your home,” Doc observes. “I’m sorry.” 

  Bdubs gives his friend a smile. “It’s okay, don’t worry. I was actually thinking of moving, anyway. I found a nice spot over here where I might build a little medieval-style village. Maybe even a castle. Should be nicer than half a house. Gets pretty draughty at night.”

  “True.” Doc hesitates. “Would you mind if I… if I visited? Sometimes?”

  “Yes I would mind, I hate you now,” responds Bdubs.

  “Oh.”

  Bdubs rolls his eyes amusedly. “I’m kidding. Visit as often as you like, dude. In fact, I’ll go over there and drag you here by your ear if you don’t visit.”

  Doc laughs. “Thank you, Bdubs. I look forward to it.”

[achliegh]

Golden

Yeehaw Leo… it's all because this song came on one day (I don’t even really listen to country anymore so it really is fate). Leo is based off that song, each chapter is going to be based off a yeehaw song too.

Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Beta: @the-most-slyterin-hufflepuff & @punkkkboi

TW/CW: Smut, terrible yeehaw sayings and jokes, injuries, mentions of past death/suicide, minor character death, underage drinking, mentions of past arrests, cringe

Chapter Songs (listening in order is recommended):

Chapter 9:

FMRN

Would You Go With Me

My Stress

Today was the day, Leo was moving to Gryffindor with two sexy hockey players who actually want him. He hasn’t stopped smiling for the last 26 hours. He was currently in the shower while his boys packed a ‘sexy time’ bag in his closet. Casually bopping to the beat of FMRN as he rinsed off his body. Stepping out of the shower he starts drying off. Legs, stomach, chest, face and everything else. Walking to the closet for the connecting door to the bathroom he finds Finn sitting on a suitcase and Logan trying to zip it shut. Shaking his head he walks over to this plane clothes and starts getting dressed, just a simple pair of jeans, t shirt, belt and baseball cap.

The music was still in the background as Logan jumps up and whoops with triumph. Skipping over to Leo he pulls him in for a rather aggressive, excited, kiss with Finn following with his own sweet and gentle one of his own.

“That bag is crazy full, just so you know.” Finn smiles and kisses Logan’s forehead, the shorter of them was still buzzing like he drank six energy drinks. They heard a bell being rung for breakfast and all sprint over each other to get downstairs.

Judy does not play when it comes to breakfast.

After a healthy morning breakfast of shrimp and grits, or cheese grits if you are Leo, everyone started packing up the vehicles. Leo gets car sick a lot of the time in smaller cars so he is driving them to the airport, ‘them’ meaning Clay and Reg… Finn and Logan got kicked out into Thomas and Noelle's car. Logan fought a little about it but Finn knew that Leo still needed his space. So convincing Logan to go with him by offering a bag of salt and vinegar pork rinds, was rather easy.

Finn has noticed how easy to fall Leo is, he just hopes that Leo doesn’t hesitate with them. Logan didn’t make a very good impression the first time they left. Ever since then Leo has been, understandably, cautious around them. It hurts a little but Finn only ever notices after he looks back on a situation. How Leo looks unsure or hesitates to touch them.

He figured them living together might help Leo open up to him. He just wants him to be happy and safe with them.

“Why am I so nervous…? I have been talking about these two for the entire summer. Shouldn’t I be more excited?” Leo opens the gate with an app on his phone before setting it down in the cupholder. Reg and Clay share a look.

Leo has taken to getting drunk to open up about his fears, Reg and Clay have both become therapists for a sad Leo who isn’t thinking right. It usually stems from Logan's words he used to kiss Leo goodbye for the first time.

‘You are just… a guy who we had a fling’

‘You don’t mean anything to us Leo’

‘Stop being a fucking child Leo!’

Those words haunt Leo when he isn’t distracted in some way. It has gotten better ever since their trip to Gryffindor the first time, but they knew it still bothered him.

“Maybe it's because you are living somewhere away from Peanut for so long.” Clay smiles at him when their eyes meet in the rearview mirror.

“I did try and convince Logan to let him come with, but it was a no. I still can’t believe he is afraid of horses.” Leo snorts and visibly relaxes.

“You know you can always stay with me if you ever need anything, right?” Reg looks at him and gives him a soft smile. Leo squeezes his bicep in thanks. They continue the rest of the drive by Clay annoying Regulus until Reg climbs into the backseat to give him a couple of smacks with a bag of sunflower seeds.

A plane ride and a sleepy car ride later, Leo was carrying most of his bag into Finn’s apartment. He set everything down in the second bedroom and looked around. This was the smallest bedroom he has ever been in… But he was hoping he’d be spending most of his time in the master bedroom anyway. Biting his lip at the thought he is jolted out of his thoughts by two idiots trying to squeeze through the room door at the same time.

“I think we are stuck…”

“Non, I can get us out!” Logan pushes the bag that was in between then onto the floor and they both go toppling over. Leo couldn’t help that laugh that flew out of his mouth. He walks over to help them out just to be pulled into the pile on the ground. Right on top of his baseball bag.

“Oh fuck! Bat in my ribs!”

“You brought a bat!?” Logan is looking at him like he's insane but helps him stand after pushing Finn off himself. “How are you going to use that on the ice?”

“Lo… he plays baseball, not hockey.” Logan rolls his eyes and just ‘blah blah blah’s behind Finn’s back. “Why did you bring it though? It’s going to be too cold to play.”

“Gryff has an indoor batting cage, I looked it up before we left. Shouldn’t you know everything here by now?” Leo starts laying the bags out in a line and opening them up to start organizing the room. Clothes are first.

“Lo doesn’t get out much.” He gets a swift smack to the chest with a pair of long socks from said hermit. Rubbing his chest he smiles. “I have no excuse. Where do you want these?” Holding up the third pair of boots he has found while rummaging in Leo’s bags he holds them up.

“By the wall please.”

“So polite. Logan, you could learn something from him.” Logan makes a sound of offense and was going to say something back in return but Leo turns on his speaker and starts playing some country yeehaw shit, it's growing on him and he won’t lie about it.

“I love this song.” Leo grabs Logan by the wrist and pulls him close, one hand on his waist and the other interlocking their fingers. Swaying to the beat he suddenly pulls away to grab Finn's hand and spins him into his chest while singing “If I gave you my hand, would you take it And make me the happiest man in the world? If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, Finn. Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea? Let me know if you're really a dream. I love you so, so would you go with me?”

Swinging Finn around as Logan watched in awe Leo is pulling away from Finn and holding his hand out to Logan. Breathing slightly heavy just smiling his bright chipped smile with his wild blue eyes. Logan can’t help but take his hand and let himself be spun so his back is to Leo’s chest as he mumbles those same words into his shoulder. “If I gave you my hand, would you take it? And make me the happiest man in the world? If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without you, Lo. Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea? Let me know if you're really a dream. I love you so, so would you go with me?”

Hours of dancing and actual unpacking later, Logan had to leave to watch the kids while Celeste and Dumo head to their eye appointments. Leo was sprawled out on the sofa, mostly asleep, when he felt a kiss on his temple and heard some mumbling.

“I’m going on a run, I’ll be back. Okay?” Nodding a couple seconds later after the question sunk in, Leo gives him a quick peck on the lips and buries himself back into the couch.

When he wakes up Finn still isn’t back, his own phone is dead, and it's cold. He sets his feet on the ground after sitting up and a shiver runs through his body. Wrapping his arms around himself he walks to his new room and pulls on his thickest socks, that just happen to have a hole that his big toes catches on. He also decides to change into his one pair of sweats, the Lions ones from the hockey game, and the sweatshirt he wore with them. Putting the hood up and pulling it tight so just his face isn't covered, tying a little bow he doesn’t care how he looks, he’s warmish now.

Wandering into the kitchen and plugging his phone into an outlet in the island, he texts the boys asking what they want to eat, turning on the oven would feel nice. While he's waiting for a response he decided to look around. He walks into the living room where he was just napping to look at all the pictures Finn has of his team, family, friends and him and Logan.

Smiling he picks up a picture frame with Finn on some guy's back, Leo thinks his name is Kasey if he remembers properly. They are in a fountain but only Kasey is wet. He sets it down and picks up a picture that is not in a frame but just laying on the table. Odd. It is of Finn and Logan, they look younger and Logan has a blonde streak in his hair. They are smiling wider than Leo has ever seen them smile. Finn has his arm around Logan’s shoulder and Logan has his arm around Finn’s waist.

Their cheeks are pressed together. It’s sweet. Leo turns the picture over and reads what is written on the back.

‘The year I found the one.’

Leo smiles and sets the picture back down, walking over the wall that has pictures literally taped to it. He makes a mental note to buy some frames. He is taking in all the smiles of people he didn’t know, a man looking like Finn and Finn actually headbutting in a picture makes him laugh.

He hears his phone ding with a text notification, he makes his way over and notices the corner of a picture sticking out from under the couch. He pauses in his path and bends down to pick it up. It’s folded, but it’s a picture of Finn and Logan at the bonfire that Leo took them too. Leo unfolds the side of the picture and realises… there is a crease over his own face.

Ouch.

He folds the crease again and sees how it completely cuts him out of the picture. Leo actually has this same picture in the back of his phone case. Suddenly that tiny drop of doubt becomes flooding water filling up his head. Putting the picture down on the counter after he walks back over to the phone.

He opens his messages to the boys needing steak for dinner… maybe… Did they forget? He sighs and feels the doubt flooding from his brain to his heart. Shaky hands start some music to hopefully distract himself from the smell and texture of meat. Clicking his phone off he starts working on dinner.

Finn and Logan walk in the apartment together, laughing and still sweaty from the run that Logan joined Finn half way through. Taking off their shoes and setting Logan’s bag by the door, a heavenly smell fingers their nose holes.

They share a look of confusion for a moment when they realize the smell is actually steak… They thought Leo would have gotten the joke but maybe not. Maybe the ‘lol’ and ‘lmao definitely’ weren’t obvious enough. They make their way to the kitchen and hear the music and the sizzle of a pan.

They turn the corner to see Leo, looking rather sad. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks slightly green, he is watching a small steak cook in a pan with no emotion in those normally challenging eyes. His hair looks like he has ran his hands through it and gripped it so it is standing wildly on his head. His hood is tied but not on his head. He is slightly shivering from either it being cold or something else.

Finn was the first to approach him. Resting his hand gently on Leo’s as they hold the spatula with a death grip, he takes the tool away and tosses it towards the sink and having no clue where it landed. Logan has taken it upon himself to turn off the stove and move the pan off the heat.

“Leo?”

“Are you using me?” Leo just blurts out what he is thinking and automatically regrets it from the look of hurt on Finn’s face and the look of anger on Logan’s.

“Let's talk about this while we clean these.” Finn holds up Leo’s hand to inspect the tiny knife cuts he accidently got from chopping onions. Being pulled towards the bathroom, Leo is told to sit on the counter. He does. Logan takes the peroxide from Finn and wets a couple of cotton balls with it.

Scrunching his nose as Logan dabs his small nicks he looks up at Finn who is holding two boxes of bandages, one box is Bob the Builder theme and the other is Hello Kitty. Smiling Leo nods towards the Hello Kitty ones.

“What makes you think we are using you?” Leo zones out for a second, thinking about the song that is still playing in the kitchen and how they need to turn the music off. “Leo.” He remembers that he was being asked a question and clears his throat.

“I don’t know, It’s just that you guys were already together before I came into your relationship. I just feel like maybe I’m just here to piss people off or as some… I dunno fetish maybe. I know it hasn’t been super long but I thought that maybe you would have one or two pictures of me. And I saw the folded one where it’s folded over me…” He is avoiding looking at Logan at all costs.

“I can’t speak for Logan,” Finn cups his cheek and makes him look at him. “But I really really like you, and I’m definitely with you, for you.” Smiling at him Leo lets himself be kissed and melts into it. Pulling away they both look towards Logan, who seems to be lost for words.

“I can’t believe you would think of us like that!” Finn gives him a warning look and Logan takes a deep breath. “Sorry, I just- I’m not good at this type of stuff. I’m really bad at expressing my feelings and emotions, usually I show them in other ways.” He takes Leo's hand and plays with his fingers. “I’m sorry I just snapped a second ago, I’m used to Finn speaking for the both of us… but I’m realizing that makes us ‘one’ in this relationship when obviously there are two of us that really want you.” Leo smiled a little and lifted Logan's hand to his lips giving it a few kisses.

“I really like you too, Lo.” he smiles the tiniest smile and turns to look at Finn. “I like you too.”

Logan and Finn lean in to kiss Leo’s cheeks at the same time. Smiling, Leo lets himself receive the affection without worrying if it's real.

He can worry when he is alone.

[subbing-for-clones]

She Who Walks the Line Between Part 1

Maul x GreyJedi!Reader 

Summary: A lone grey force user has sequestered herself in the furthest regions from the inner rim that could reasonably reach. She never could have fit in with the Jedi and their plethora of useless rules and regulations. Nor could find her way with the Sith and their needless thirst for power and control. After spending years along-side them both and learning all she could she took to the life of a hermit so she could continue her studies in peace. She lived happily until someone’s pain ripped through her inner sanctum. Now restless, she must tip the scales back in the favor of balance.

Word Count: 2085

WARNINGS: Mentions of pain and injury.

NEXT          MASTERLIST

      So far out in the outer rim it could be considered wild space existed a planet blanketed with jungles and planes. This lonely world is where you called home. Far from wars, from civilization and the unbalanced frivolous problems that existed within this universe. As secluded as it was, this small planet was in perfect balance. Hunters sought their prey and the prey helped one another to survive. Close enough to the ocean that you could smell the salt in the air during a storm; on the border between grass lands and what seemed like infinite jungle, a large stone cottage stood firmly as if it had grown straight from the soil like the crops that lined the east wall.

    Your ship was still warm from your recent trip to a more populated system for supplies impossible to come by on your world. This recent trip had left you weary, visions and a voice now plagued your mind. Quiet was all you wanted. Just quiet. Yet screams of agony filled your ears through the force as you sipped your fresh mint tea on the roof of your home. You scanned the planes that spread in front of you as if you could locate the origin of this suffering behind one of the blades of tall grass.

    Closing your eyes with the cup still hot between your clasped hands you quieted your mind and reached out into the force.

Blazing heaps of metal.

Sweltering heat.

Foul sulfuric stench.

A man, no, half of one. Red and black flesh, a crown of stained ivory horns.

A mess of steel legs, bellowing raggedly.

“Always remember I am fear. Always remember I am hunter, always remember I am filth, always remember I am... nothing!” His glowing eyes seemed to meet yours. Holding for but a moment.

    Slowly your eyes opened, looking around to convince yourself that the man you connected with didn't lay before you now. Satisfied that you were where you had started in your meditation you looked up to the sky, dusty with the falling sunset. You closed your eyes again and whispered to the universe through the force, "find me," casting out reassuring waves of unwavering peace and tranquility towards wherever this wretched soul writhed.

 ~~~~~

      Maul screamed in agony and rage. He couldn't remember anything but a name and a grim mantra that he repeated over and over for a decade hoping against hope to be comforted by it. Although comfort never came, something new spanned out in front of him. For the first time in years, something new graced his vision. A woman.

Glistening eyes heavy lidded but bright. A figure clad in light grey dress sitting in a meditative position. Her plump lips whispered two simple words to him. Find me. For the first time that he could remember he had something he needed to do other than devour and wail. A purpose perhaps.

    His steel spider legs twitched as he crawled his way out from his hole in the depths of Lotho Minor. The atmosphere was a thick, dingy fawn. Perfectly akin to the scent of fire and sulfur that he could no longer smell. The grey pressed dirt kicked up from the ends of his jagged limbs as he pulled himself across the hellish landscape. Drop ships came here frequently to dump garbage but every so often a scavenger would come to brave the terrain in search of something of value. As luck would have it, a small ship had landed some time ago, the pilot likely perished to one of the many dangers here on the planet wide dumping grounds. Fear encompassing his mind, he eased toward the abandoned ship. Eight legs clumsily carrying his torso forward. Eyes darting around for the owner of this vessel but none in sight. Cautiously he boarded.

    Muscle memory took over as he powered up and took flight. His ship floated stationary just outside the atmosphere, he gazed upon open space for the first time in twelve years, shrinking back into a corner out of fear of the openness after so long in the confined darkness of a hole in the ground. He was loosing the little motivation for momentum that he had and was torn between surging forward and retreating back to what was familiar. Even if he did continue on, he didn’t know where to go.

"I don't know... I don't know... I don't KNOW... where.. to go… WHERE ARE YOU?!" He sobbed. As if to answer his question his vision clouded over and a sense of peace eased his twisted, knotted muscles as well as his fractured mind. Images of tall cliffs overlooking a roaring ocean. The sounds of creatures chattering unseen in a dark jungle lit by bioluminescent fauna. Wind blowing through tall dry grasses. Smoke drifting out of a chimney. The woman he had seen, sitting on a wooden porch.

    Without opening his eyes he punched coordinates into the nav computer that if asked to, he couldn't have recited. Hyperdrive activated, he vanished into the unknown, convinced this was his destiny. To find the ghost of a woman he had seen in his squalor.

 ~~~~~

    You woke just before dawn with a start. Something was coming, you weren't quite sure what. You couldn't see it clearly through the force but you could feel the darkness. Cold like the side of a moon that had never been blessed by the sun. The universal scale tipped out of balance and it rang through you like a gong.

    Groaning, you pushed the woolen blanket covering your body aside and stood, pulling on a slate-colored cotton dress and slipping your feet into your shoes. You peered out of the transparasteel, the sky was dark but just starting to blue. An hour before sunrise you guessed. Sighing and making your way to the kitchen you put on some caf. If you had to be awake this early at least you'd be caffeinated.

    Stepping out onto your porch you could hear the goats you kept nearby bleating alarms at you. Sending them calming waves through the force was all you could do. A moment later you could sense a ship entering the atmosphere. You squinted while shushing the goats from your perch. In all your years on this planet you had never seen another ship aside from your own. You strode to the west side of your home and herded the goats back inside the barn while fetching a large basket. Locking them safely inside before you made your way toward the landing ship. Keeping a hundred meters or so between you and the ramp that extended, eyeing the opening cautiously. Darkness spilled out along with the monstrosity of what was, at one point, a Zabrack. Easily recalling him from your vision you weren't afraid in the least. Perhaps a bit surprised that he had found you so quickly but not afraid.

    You had strode half the distance between you and the man before stopping and placing the basket at your side. You watched as he limped over to you, unbalanced in every sense of the word. Physically clumsy and mentally clouded he laughed and sobbed utterly broken.

"I found... you." He groaned hoarsely. Pointing a shaking finger in your direction.

    Not saying a word you looked him up and down, lingering where scrap met his organic body. His horns over grown, his eyes bloodshot so horribly there was hardly any white to them. His legs rusting away. His face was gaunt with starvation. This man that stood before you was what was tipping the scale out of balance. Mentally making a decision you nodded, fearlessly and confidently you closed the last of the distance between you and him, gazing right into those burning eyes until his face relaxed a bit out of utter confusion. He hadn’t known what to expect when he found you. He could feel your force signature surrounding you. An aura of equally bright and dark colors swirling together.

"You did find me." You paused for a moment. Turning and walking along the line between the plains and jungle you looked over your shoulder, he hadn't moved.

"Come. We have much work to do with you." You sighed.

    He followed you unsteady on those eight spindly legs. How he managed that much force energy to make them walk you had no idea. They definitely weren't powered or connected to his nervous system so he had to be using the force. A Sith by the feel of it, if not a Sith then he was only calling upon the dark side. Not a drop of light permeated from his aura. Yet he followed you silently.

 ~~~~~

      This woman he followed, he couldn't sense or smell any fear in her. But he could sense something. She was strong with both the light and the dark sides of the force. So strong that he could feel it coming off her like a reactor. He eyed the two lightsabers that clung to her legs. The dress she wore slit all the way up both sides. They didn't hang from a belt like his used to but rather were strapped to each if her thighs. Her hair draped down her back, glinting in the very early morning sunrise.

    He followed this woman snarling occasionally in pain but otherwise silent until they reached a cliff that overlooked the ocean. The waters were calm, the smell of salt on the air familiar but he couldn't place a memory with it.

    She turned to meet his eyes and he froze. "Stay put for a moment I need to collect clay from the cliffs" and without waiting for his response she stepped over the edge and landed gracefully on a ledge fifty feet below. He dared not move even to look and see what this woman was doing. Fear starting to spread through him again he missed his hole in the bowels of Lotho Minor.

    Just after he thought the thought she leapt high above and over him, feet touching down silently. He still jumped back defensively and growled. The woman sighed and balanced the large basket now packed high with clay atop her head and beckoned him back the way they came with two fingers and a nod.

    Slowly once again he followed but this time he spoke.

"Are you a jedi?" He hissed, eyes narrowing.

"Gods no," she replied curtly.

"Are you Sith then?"

"Wrong again." Without looking back at him she replied in a sing song tone.

He followed her silently in thought. Listening to birds chirp in the jungle to his left.

"What.. are you...?" He dared to ask almost whispering.

She didn't reply to him until her home was in view again.

"I am the one who walks the line between the dark and the light. Not a jedi, not a Sith but something so much more." She gazed off into the horizon, her mind wandering to places he could not see.

"What do you want with me?" He snarled yet still he followed.

"You are no longer a Sith yet the darkness rages inside you like a storm. It is upsetting the balance and quite frankly, I've been bored so I'm not going to just kill you off. I'm going to bring you back from the precipice." She stopped and turned to face him.

"But first I'm going to fix this mess." She said tapping one of his hideous legs.

    He didn't know what was to come or become of him but for the first time in a very long time he felt something that wasn't fear or rage. He didn't know what to call it but he was glad for a second that he found this planet.

[confessionsofa-randomqueer]

Time

Seems to be all that I can think about 

the way it passes by in the blink of an eye

The way it was 10:00 this morning one moment & then 

Blink 

It's now 3:30 in the afternoon

I keep thinking about what I want to spend my time doing, as I am standing here 20 minutes into doing the dishes that I neglected over the past day 1/2 

“Not this.” I think, not this compounded work for the sake of “catching back up”. A little at a time, a day at a time, keeps the motion moving forward in the most calming & grounded way. 

They say 

In this body time is perceived as Anxiety, the racing the white rabbit

late for a VERY important date 

Does he even know where he is going? What date is he late for?

How long has he felt the sand in the hour glass standing still in it’s “out of time” 

fashion?

I always feel as though I am “out of time”, though my age & health tell me otherwise 

It doesn't feel like a literal time though, more of a deeper time than we understand in our overly structured concept of it. 

We forget that it is not linear 

it can not be packaged neatly into a decorative clock 

The recent pandemic has really solidified that for me, a few days is actually a week, more often than not these days. Constantly anxious that I am Hermiting too much & connecting too little, knowing I am slow to connect because I am learning to do so with intention. [Intentional. mindful living] I feel strange be labeling it as such due to our latest trends. I am jumping down rabbit hole & rabbit hole looking for the door that we takes us to that place 

the one where time stands still 

when the space between it & time opens up, & we are suddenly aware of just how much we have manipulated it, to fit our attempt to will it to bend to our fear, in the form of its structure & zones. 

Tick Tok 

Tick Tok 

The wall Clock continues to remind me every action is an exchange of time 

An exchange of energy 

It is always passing in forward motion 

as I stand here to contemplate its mysteries & what they mean to me 

it continues to pass

My thoughts shift to those I listen to often who want to take advantage of every moment to grow. 

The constant balancing act of fighting the system to build our own tells me just how mismanaged our time is 

our energy 

all given to just trying to survive 

I wish I could climb into the wall clock & see time for it’s perspective 

Oh the things it sees us passing it with 

How would I feel about time then? 

[shovel-shuffle]

i woke up in the middle of the night and realised that a lot of people on here know straight up nothing about me, which, seeing as my posts on here are becoming more casual and less made of 90% fear, might be an issue

so here’s some stuff about me. so you know i’m, like, a person. an intro post if you will (below cut for your convenience)

- you can call me swan (it’s from the song “swan song” by set it off, not the actual bird, weirdly enough)

- i started watching hermitcraft in 2018 at the start of season 6, only watched grian for a while, stopped for a year because i was bitter he stopped making evo smp (i don’t know what my logic there was), and got back into hermitcraft just as season 6 ended

- i now watch grian, mumbo, impulse, zedaph, tango, ren, scar, stress, cleo, keralis and bdubs consistently, and then there are a few other hermits i watch when i have the time/ability to focus on their content

- speaking of focus i probably have adhd + other unspecified neurodivergences. i am mentioning this because they probably come across in my typing and thought process, so uh. yeah that’s why i’m Like That

- other interests include: fallout (thanks cleo), bioshock (thanks cleo) and the band set it off. i also have a lot of hobbies like art, writing, songwriting, baking, knitting, jewelry-making, stage performance and the occasional voice acting

- i have, like, a whole bunch of ocs, they’re neat

- i am british! i live in england. i am mentioning because timezones are funky. also yes i do actually sound a bit like zedaph

- i play minecraft but not, like, hermit-style, i tend to go whole worlds without diamond tools and i like living in holes in the ground

- i got thrown in a lot of lakes as a child. not relevant, just a fun fact

anyway now you know me a bit better. i’m gonna keep this pinned for a lil while so people can get to know me (sort of) because i want friends

[vajranam]

The Great Ape

The Great Ape - Teaching from a past life account of Buddha Shakyamuni:

Good people are pained not so much by their own afflictions as by the harm done to those who injure them. Thus has it been heard:

The Bodhisattva was once an ape of great size in a beautiful land by the side of the Himalayas. Even in that state he was intensely aware of what is right. Compassion was his second nature. It was a land where the demigods sported. Its ground was tinted with the charming hues of variouse ores. Its dense and rich foliage seemed to enfold it in a dark silken mantle. Its slopes and valleys were adorned with shapes and colors so picturesque that they seemed almost contrived. There were numerous waterfalls and deep caverns through which mountain streams gushed. An enchanting breeze rustled though trees laden with all kinds of flowers and fruits. The great ape lived in those woods like a hermit, subsisting only on wild leaves and fruits and showing compassion to all the creatures who crossed his path.

One day a man came into that land searching for a cow which had gone astray. He had wandered all over, lost his way and no longer knew where he was. Exhausted by hunger, fatigue and heat, his mind aflame with the fire of melancholy; he sat down under a tree as if weighed down by his distress. There he saw some red brown tinduki fruit which had ripened and dropped to the ground. Such was the man’s hunger that he found the fruit most tasteful and looked around to see where it came from. He then beheld a tinduki tree growing on the slope of a waterfall, the tips of its branches bent low with the ripe red-brown fruit. Wishing to get them, he climbed up the slope and on to the tree to the very end of a fruiting branch which hung over the cascading water. But it was too thin and his weight was more than it could bear. With a sudden sound it broke and fell as if cut down with an axe.

The man fell with the branch into the cavernous pit of the waterfall. It was like a well enclosed by walls of rock. Piles of leaves and deep water ensured that he broke no bones but when he surfaced and looked around, he could see no way of getting out. ‘I can do nothing,’ he said to himself, ‘and soon I will die.’ Despairing for his life his face wet with tears, he then began to lament, his heart distraught and distressed. ‘I have fallen into an inaccessible place in this desolate forest.’ He wept. ‘Who except death will ever find me here? I am trapped like a beast in a pit. Who will pull me out? There are no friends or kinsmen here, only mosquitoes to dink my blood. This hole is pitch dark. It is like a moonless night here. For me, alas, it blots out the world with its gardens and forests, its arbours and streams and its star-spangled sky.’

The man passed some days in that pit, lamenting and subsisting on water and fruit which had fallen with him. One day the great ape came there. He had been wandering about in search in food and the upper branch of the tinduki tree had seemed to beckon him as they swayed in the breeze. He climbed up the tree and looking down the waterfall beheld the woebegone man below, his eyes sunken and face gaunt with hunger, his body pale and emaciated. The great ape was moved to pity at the man’s miserable condition. Abandoning his own search for food, he looked intensely at the man and addressed him: ‘You are under a precipice which a man cannot reach easily,’ he said. ‘Tell me clearly who you are and how did you get to be here.’

The man looker plaintively at the great ape. ‘I am a human sir,’ he said with folded hands. ‘I got lost while roaming in the forest and was seeking fruit from the tree when I met with this accident. It is a great calamity for I have no friends or kindred here. You must protect me. O chief of apes.’ These words filled the great being with a deep compassion. ‘Do not worry,’ he said, ‘that you are in a pit, weak and without your kind. Whatever is their duty, I will do it. Have no fear.’ Having reassured the man and given him some tinduki and other fruit, the ape then went aside and practiced the rescue with a rock of a man’s weight. Satisfying himself that he was strong enough to bring the man out of the waterfall, he then decended into it and again spoke to him kindly. ‘Come, climb on my back.’ he said , ‘and hold fast onto it while I take you out and also fulfill the purpose of my own body. For the only purpose of this worthless frame, as good people know, is that men of intelligence should use it for helping others.’

‘Very well,’ said the man and with a respectful bow got on the apes back. Though the weight was great yet with a supreme effort the ape brought the man out. Overjoyed at having done so, he was exhausted. Walking slowly to a rock dark as a raincloud, he lay down upon it to rest. The ape was pure-hearted by nature and did not suspect any danger from the man. ‘I am extremely tired,’ he told him trustingly, ‘and I want to sleep for a while. But this forest is easily accessible and exposed to predatory beasts. One of them could suddenly kill me while I am tired and asleep and also harm itself. You must therefore keep watch sir, and guard me as well as yourself.’

The man promised to do so. ‘Sleep as long as you like sir,’ he said ‘and wake up refreshed. I am here to keep guard.’ But when the ape had fallen asleep, the man began to entertain wicked thoughts. ‘My body is worn out,’ he said to himself. ‘How will it even survive, much less find nourishment here? It needs great effort to find roots and wild fruit can be had only by chance. I have become very weak. How will I be able to get through this impassable forest? Perhaps the flesh of this ape will suffice for that purpose. Even though he has helped me, he is a permissible prey by his nature. That indeed is the righteous course in a time of distress and therefore I must feed on him. But I can kill him only when he is trustfully and comfortably asleep. In open combat he could defeat even a lion. So there is no time to lose.’

The man’s mind was overcome with greed. His sense of gratitude and awareness of what is right were destroyed. His feelings of pity and kindliness disappeared. Even though he had become weak the desire to do the vile deed was strong. He picked up a large stone and hurled it at the great ape’s head. But weakness had made him unsteady on his feet. Intended to put the ape to sleep forever, the misdirected stone did not strike him with its full force but merely bruised his head with the edge before falling to the ground with a crash like thunder. Injured by the blow, the ape jumped up in haste. ‘Who hit me?’ he cried, and saw none other but the man, now looking shamefaced. Pale with confusion, dismayed and distraught, his throat dry with fear and his body covered with perspiration, he was unable even to look up.

‘This is his doing,’ the great ape concluded. Unmindful of the pain of his own injury, he then felt a great pity for the person who had committed a terrible deed regardless of what was good for him. He was not angry or agitated but his eyes filled with tears as he grieved for that man. ‘My friend, you are a man,’ he said, ‘and yet you did such a deed! How could you think of it and how could you carry it out? You should rather have bravely stopped any enemy out to hurt me!’ ‘I felt proud at having performed a difficult deed.’ the ape continued. ‘But you have made my pride disappear by doing something even more difficult. You were rescued, as it were, from the other world, from the very mouth of death. Yet, coming out of one abyss, you have fallen into another.’

‘You have cast yourself into a calamity and me into the fire of grief,’ he added. ‘You have spoilt your reputation and gone against the love of virtue. You have destroyed trustworthiness and made yourself an object of reproach. What did you hope to gain by acting in this manner? I am the occasion for your negative deed,’ he added further. ‘Yet I am unable to cleanse it. This pains me even more than the injury I suffered. Now follow me so that I may take you out of this fearful forest and set you on the road to some village. But since you cannot be trusted anymore, stay by my side and within my sight, lest someone make my labor fruitless by hurting you if you wander alone in the forest, worn out and ignorant of the way.’

Thus did the great being grieve for the man as he brought him to an inhabited area and set him on the road. ‘Here ends the forest my friend,’ he said. ‘You are now in settled country. Go safely, putting the fear of wilderness behind you. And try to avoid evil actions for they will yield a painful harvest.’ After instructing him kindly as he would a disciple, the great ape then returned to the forest. As for the man, even as he burned with remorse for the negative deed he had committed, he was soon struck by the dreadful disease of leprosy. His appearance was transformed. Ulcers drenched his body with their discharge and pervade it with the foulest smells. So hideous and twisted did he become that wherever he went, the people could not believe that he was human. His voice too had changed and become a whine. People thought him evil personified and drive him away with harsh words of abuse and stones and sticks.

Once a king out on a hunt saw him wandering in the forest like a ghost. His dirty clothes were in tatters – even his genitals were not fully covered. Seeing him in that wretched condition, the king was curious as well as afraid. ‘Your body is disfigured by leprosy,’ he said. ‘You are covered with ulcers, pale, emaciated and miserable. Your hair is full of dust. Are you a ghost or a ghoul, a witch or a devil? Or are you afflicted with some other ailment?’

‘I am human, great king,’ the man replied sadly with a bow. ‘I am not a spirit,’ and when asked how he came to be in that condition, he recounted his misdeed to the king. ‘This is only the blossom of my treachery to a friend,’ he said, ‘the fruit is bound to be even more painful. I am a living example of what happens to those who behave like enemies towards their friends, their minds sullied with greed and other vices. From this it can be inferred what will happen to them in the next world. But one who loves his friends and earns their trust and help, gains courtesy, glory and joy. Enemies cannot harm him and he finally goes to heaven. These are the consequences of good or bad conduct towards friends. O king, knowing them, one should follow the path shown by the virtuous. That is the way to happiness.’

Thus it is that good people are pained by the harm done to the wellbeing of those who injure them. This should be recounted during discussions on faithfulness to friends and on the consequences of evil deeds.

~Jatakamala Sutra (Translated by A.N.D. HAKSAR, 2003)

[lumassen]

Suomen Tasavalta

Unlike most other Nations, Finland chooses to live alone and limit his contact with humans and his people. Despite appearing cheerful and happy, Finn struggles with his immortality more than others might think.

----

Cross posted from AO3. Includes lyrics from "Who wants to live forever" by Queen.

Words: 1,930

----

There's no time for us,

There's no place for us,

It was too warm inside his cabin, and Finland felt a bead of sweat roll down the nape of his neck beneath his hair. He knew that he'd got carried away and put one too many logs on the fire that flickered away in the grate, but with no central heating in his house Finland always preferred it to be too warm than too cold. He couldn't help but smile a little though as his gaze fell upon Kukkamuna, his little fluffy companion, as she lay softly snoring out on the rug in front of the fireplace. He sat down on the couch to pull on his wellington boots and stuff his corduroy trousers into the tops. Beneath him, the red leather chesterfield was cracked and worn.

Like so many other things in his cabin, Finland hadn't changed, updated or replaced the couch since 1917 and instead just kept accumulating modernities as and when he needed them. His TV that he eventually treated himself to back in 2006 stood on an antique cabinet that he bought at a woodwork market when he first became independent and moved into this house, and the old refrigerator hummed loudly from the kitchen, the same one he’d always had. It would occasionally leak puddles of water all over the floor, but Finland made do, happy to mop up the water rather than replace the fridge. To him, not much time had passed at all, and the 1930's style fridge and all of his belongings were still relatively new in his eyes.

Tearing his gaze from the fire before he could get lost in thought, Finland stood up, turning his attention to the window to notice that the snow had stopped and the darkened sky was lifting as the clouds cleared.

It was mid December, and little over a week ago a new Prime Minister had been elected by the people of Finland. He eyed the letter on the side table that had arrived the day before last inviting him to meet with her, the edge of it torn accidentally from where he'd struggled to open the envelope with trembling hands.

What is this thing that builds our dreams,

Yet slips away from us?

Unlike the rest of the Nordics and majority of the other nations, Finland had lived in the same house all his independent life, far away from civilisation with no contact with humans apart from his government. He preferred it this way. Denmark teased, calling him a hermit, but he laughed it off, and Sweden always offered him a key to his house every time he moved into a new one, but Finland didn’t want it. He was happy enough by himself.

Happy, cheerful, Finland. That was him.

The cold air rushed in from outside, swirling around him in the entrance way like an old friend as he opened the door and looked out. A fresh layer of snow covered the ground beyond his porch, and had he not known that the lake was at the bottom of the hill it would be easy to overlook; now frozen over and covered in the same layer of snow. It would remain that way until the thaw. Taking in a deep breath through his nose, Finland found comfort in the way that the sharpness of the cold air stung his nostrils and filled his lungs.

After all he had seen and experienced, there wasn’t much in life that unnerved or scared him, yet when Finland had tried on his formal suit last night before he went to bed to make sure that it still fit and looked back at himself in the mirror he felt the dread building in the pit of his stomach. It hadn’t gone away, and instead had been building ever since, his insides churning to the point that he hadn’t been able to stomach breakfast this morning. Tomorrow he was to meet with the Prime Minister and stand before them as they shook his hand awkwardly, regarding him with either an expression of fear, apprehension or unease; sometimes even all three at once.

He didn’t blame them though, no matter how much it hurt him. He knew that it was strange for them to find out that the country that they had just become head of had a personification. Someone that wasn’t quite human, yet wasn't like anything else. Unexplainable, yet real. Living and breathing but unable to die, walking the earth for eternity.

Who wants to live forever?

Who wants to live forever?

Closing the door behind him, Finland stepped out onto the porch, the wind sending a chill up his spine as it found any hole or gap in his clothing to slip through as he made his way down the three steps at the front of his cabin and listened to the snow crunch beneath him as he sank his feet into it. Quiet. Tranquil. Only the sound of his own shuddered breathing that came out and danced in clouds around him, a visual reminder of the life within him.

Balling his fists, Finland took a step forward, then another, then another, until he broke into a run, his feet burying into the snow before he came to a halt, teetering at the very edge of the lake.

"Miksi!? Minä vitun tätä!!" (Why? I fucking hate this!)

Finland's voice echoed over the lake as he screwed his eyes shut and shouted from the top of his lungs, causing a flock of birds in a nearby birch tree to take to the wing, startled. He watched them through tear filled eyes as they flew to the other side of the lake before settling back down into the trees again.

"Miksi olen täällä? Mikä minun tarkoituseni on?" (Why am I here? What is my purpose?)

This time his voice was little more than a whisper as he swallowed the lump in his throat and looked down at the crescent shaped grooves that his fingernails had left in the skin on the palms of his hands from clenching his fists so tightly.

There's no chance for us.

It's all decided for us.

This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.

He thought back to that moment in 1917 and could see himself as he looked out at the lake. His younger self was staring back at him as though he were a ghost, an apparition. He'd never felt as alive as he had then as he turned his back on Russia and finally led his people home to his land. To the Republic of Finland.

That had been the last time he'd interacted with them, choosing to live out his life as a free country with just the other nations for company. Sometimes he wondered if it were a mistake, but if the look on his previous Prime Ministers face when they had been introduced for the first time was anything to go by then he stood by his decision. He was a freak, born from the snow and evergreen, his first waking moments spent alone and cold with no idea why he existed or where he came from.

Who wants to live forever?

Who dares to love forever?

Oh, when love must die?

A branch snapped underfoot behind him, and Finland spun around on the spot, swinging his rifle around from where it was slung over his back to aim it in the direction of the disturbance and closed one eye to look down the barrel.

“I’ve already been shot by ya once before and don’t plan to be shot again, so put that thing down. It’s just me.”

Sweden was standing in the clearing just in front of where the trees stopped at the edge of the lake with his hands raised in surrender, yet there was a smirk on his face. Lowering the rifle, Finland flicked the safety on and slowly slipped it to rest across his back once more.

“Ruotsi?”

Taking a tiny step forward, Finland squinted as if it could be anyone but Sweden before him, the bottom of his unmistakable long navy coat dusted with a thin layer of powdered snow from where he’d walked through it.

“Suomi.” he said, stopping in front of him.

It had been a couple months since Finland had seen Sweden, let alone interacted with anyone but Kukkamuna for that matter. He noticed Sweden had cut his hair.

“What are you doing here?” Finland couldn’t help but narrow his eyes as he asked the question, wondering if they had plans that he’d forgotten about.

There was a small silence between them as Sweden reached out and hesitantly brought his hand to Finland’s face. At first he flinched at the touch, but Sweden’s hands were always warm, just as he remembered them as he ran his thumb over the stubble that had grown across his jaw.

“I know you gotta big day tomorrow, and that you don’t like humans.”

If it were anyone else, Finland would have felt the urge to defend himself and explain that he loved the humans and his people. Deep down he did, they were the reason that there was life in his veins, but they made him uneasy and Sweden knew this better than anyone.

“It’s not that I don’t like them, Roo,” he pressed as Sweden let his hand drop back down by his side, “because I do. I don’t mind being around them when they think I’m one of them, but tomorrow…”

Finland dropped his gaze to his hands as they fiddled with the small hole at the hem of his sweater from where he’d been meaning to mend it for the past 20 years.

“Wait, didja come all this way just for me? You’re not here on business?” he looked up again as the realisation hit him, and Sweden just nodded with a faint smile.

But touch my tears with your lips,

Touch my world with your fingertips,

“No, I just thought it had been a while since I saw a birch tree. I heard the best can be found here.” Sweden said as he knocked his knuckles against the trunk of the birch to his left and looked up into its branches wistfully before his eyes slid to look at Finland from behind his glasses, a playful expression on his face and Finland felt his jaw slacken.

“Course I came here for ya.”

Finland let out a laugh as his face crumpled and he wiped his nose that had started to run as a result of the cold on his sleeve, drying away the few tears that threatened to fall at the same time and hoped that Sweden hadn’t noticed them.

“You tried your suit on?” Sweden asked, his voice a little gentler now as he took a step closer to Finland. Finland nodded with a sniffle, feeling his stomach lurch as the thought of having to stand in a stuffy room tomorrow in a three piece suit, lily of the valley in his breast pocket, hair tamed and combed back just as his officials thought it should be.

“Then let's not think about it again until tomorrow mornin’.”

Draping an arm heavy around Finland’s shoulders, Sweden stooped and pressed the softest of kisses to the top of Finland’s head, clearly unfazed by the fact that he hadn’t washed his hair in three days.

“Kiitos, Ruotsi.” (Thank you, Sweden.)

“Ole hyvä, Suomi.” (You’re welcome, Finland.)

And we can have forever,

And we can love forever,

Forever is our today.

[hermits-that-craft]

Night AU - Chapter 52 - Arc 2 - Relost

AO3:https://archiveofourown.org/works/23509375/chapters/66540838 I’m sorry it took so long!

“You two are idiots.” Tango laughs breathlessly. “I can’t believe you got away with that.”

“But they did!” Zedaph cheers, smiling.

“Dude shh you’re going to wake up the hermits!” Scar stage whispers, and Cub snorts under his breath. Etho hums a song to himself, listening to Impulse and Scar play catch up with the others. 

“I can’t believe Scar has a god mode but I don’t.” Zedaph whines playfully. “I think I deserve a god mode.”

“I don’t know how to activate god mode though.” Scar says, hanging upside down off his bed. 

“Void nerfed you because you’d be too powerful” Cub says sagely, nodding his head as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“They nerfed you!” Tango cackles, falling off the bed as he laughs. Zedaph and Impulse soon follow suit, either sitting on the floor with Tango or getting dragged off the bed by the other two.

“We’re coming for you Cub!” Zedaph cackles, shuffling towards Cub’s bed. The older men quickly jumps onto his bed, standing on top of it as though his life depended on it. Etho snickers in the corner, watching as Scar is dramatically dragged to the floor by Tango.

“The floor is lava.” The words barely leave Etho’s mouth before the hermits are clinging to beds and fences as though their lives depend on it, all shooting half hearted glares at Etho.

“I thought you were asleep!” Scar says, hanging off of the fence post that the lantern is held up by.

“I didn’t think you could jump that high!” Etho counters, and the group laughs, Scar slowly lowering himself to the ground.

“Well sometimes you just gotta up you know?”

“‘Well sometimes you just gotta up.’” Zedaph quotes. “Wise words from mister GoodtimeswithScar.”

Everyone pauses, dread replacing the joy as their communicators hum in unison. Scar and Impulse both immediately shake their heads, not willing to find out if Doc or Ren are dead, or worse. No one wants to look, to find out the terrible news. To find out if a friend is dead. Killed and respawned, or their body found somewhere. Cub pulls Scar into a comforting hug, though nothing on his face could be described as anything but horrified. Zedaph taps Impulse’s hands gently, grounding the man. Tango looks at Etho, pleading with him to check with his eyes. Etho nods, and Tango lets out a relieved sigh as Etho pulls out his communicator. Horror fills his stomach, fear overtaking his common sense and brain as he reads, and rereads, the notifications. Tears slip out of his eyes, and vomit threatens to force its way out of his throat.

TheJungle has entered the server.

TheJungle: Night, I want the nHo back. I will join you if you give them to me. TheNight: I already have 1/ 4 ready for you. TheJungle: Omw

“Good news and bad news, everyone.” Etho says, his voice soft. “Night doesn’t have Doc or Beef anymore.”

“The bad news?” Tango’s voice sounds like it's traveling through a wall of honey, but Etho swallows, trying to force the fear and tears down his throat.

“The jungle is back.”

---

Iskall and Etho walk along the edge of the shopping district, Iskall quietly testing his new robotic arm. It’s been painted white, and it responds well to his movements, though he leans towards it as he walks. Etho keeps an eye on his, helping him adjust to the new weight.

“It’s kind of funny,” Iskall murmurs. “I just got used to not having the weight of an arm, and now I have to get used to the weight of one again.”

“It’s heavier than a norm- a non-robotic arm.” Etho catches himself, reminding them both that this arm is Iskall’s new normal. “So you’re going to have to get stronger.”

“Are you saying that I’m not strong.” Iskall jokingly asks.

“Yes.” Etho depans, before dodging a punch from the ex assassin. “Am I wrong?”

“Yes! Yes you are wrong!” Iskall pushes Etho gently. “I am amazing and strong and you all are weak compared to me.”

“Yessir.” Etho nods, pushing Iskall back. The pair laugh, turning around the hill before they freeze.

Doc leans on the side of the hill, his eye wide and fearful as he watches Etho and Iskall. His metal arm is gone, wires poking out of the gaping hole in his shoulder where the arm should be. Redstone, or perhaps blood, covers what is left of his lab coat. It’s torn to shreds, there’s barely anything left of the fabric that Doc took such good care of.

“Doc?” Etho asks, his voice quiet. “Doc, are you alright?”

“I need to go back.” Doc sways in the breeze. “I need to get Ren out. Oh Void, they’re going to slaughter Ren.”

“Doc you’re not making any sense.” Etho says, slowly walking towards his friend. Iskall looks at his new arm, frowning as his gaze hits the claps. “I’m sure Ren is going to be-”

“Take my arm.” Iskall says, his hand undoing one of the claps. “Get Ren back.”

“Iskall-”

“Get my friend back, Doc.” Iskall struggles with the arm, Doc helping his detach it from his body. Iskall helps Doc to attach it to his arm, Etho spluttering in the background. Etho watches and Doc pulls Iskall into a hug, a tear falling from his eye.

“I will. I’ll get Ren back.” Doc promises. 

Iskall leans against Etho as Doc flies off, a stray tear falling from his eye. Etho gently rubs his shoulder, humming to Iskall as the man struggles to contain his fear. Etho doesn’t - Etho won’t let Iskall relapse, he promised the other hermits that this would be good, healthy for Iskall. He won’t let Iskall lose himself.

Rendog burnt to death fighting Docm77 

---

They footsteps echo down the hallway, bare feet hitting the stone floors. It’s angering, this base in their domain - Night control the End and the Nether, surely they could have built a base in one of those. In any case, Night has an offer that he cannot refuse. Her long hair is in a braid, and she prides herself on knowing that she will confuse her father's sibling.

“Jungle, welcome.” Night says, their mask cracked. They look deranged, perfectly matching Jungle’s emotions. “I assume you are here to collect your players?”

“I will work for you until I get all of them back.” Jungle smiles, making sure that it’s just too wide. They scan the room, spying Beef and Doc. Two of their players. “I thought you only had one.”

“I had to lull the hermits into a false sense of security. I wanted to make them think that Experiment escaped.” Night nods to Doc, and Jungle turns his gaze to the man. 

It’s so, so painfully clear he’s scared. They can smell it on him. But he isn’t fighting Night’s control - or maybe he’s too weak to escape it. The fear only serves to break the two men further. Fear radiates off of the two men, though it’s clear that the stars that Night replaced them with are confused by their hosts’ fear. 

Perfect.

They can’t wait to bury these men in bedrock and vines.

---

“Dad?” Grian asks quietly, his eyes wide. Builder reads over the notification. Once. Twice, before he sighs. “What are we going to do?”

“I need to get something from the godly realm.” Builder says, standing slowly. Xisuma blinks, watching the god with distrust. “Something to counter Jungle.”

“Oh!” Grian lights up a small amount, and Cleo looks to the corner of the room, her mouth open as though she’s going to ask it something, “Are you getting Althea and Ella?”

“Who?” Joe asks, sitting on the table.

“My sisters.” Grian says without second thought.

“His daughters.” Rose points to Builder. “The goddess of Mushroom Islands and the goddess of roofed forests.”

Builder nods, before disappearing into the air. Xisuma wraps his arms around himself, his knees hitting his chest. Scar pats his back sympathetically, and Xisuma sighs.

“I can’t keep anyone out of here, can I?” Xisuma mumbles.

“You’re trying your hardest.” Scar says, smiling. “That’s all that matters.”

Rose summons some magic, using it to clear some of the dusk off of the higher shelves in the room. Cleo starts mumbling to herself, and everyone except Joe and Rose give her worried looks as she addresses her ramblings to Amari.

Three buzzes echo from the communicators, and Builder enters the room with two women. One of the wears a red cloak, a white dress and a brown leather corset, knives and potions hanging from it. The other women wears a simple red dress, her hair in a bob around her head, though she wears sturdy leather boots.

“You must be Xisuma!” The one in the red dress smiles, shaking his hand. “I love how you used my domain for the shopping district, It’s always nice to see people settle here!”

“Uhh, Althea you might want to introduce yourself-” The other, Ella, says, patting her back. “In any case, I want to beat up our sinling. Where the fuck are they?”

---

Amari watches over the group, as everyone settles in for the night. She refuses to allow herself to show to the mortals, and though Etho, Keralis and Cleo are kind and promise that the mortals would get used to her, she refuses to give them another reason to fear. She leaves the barracks, walking over to a small room that overlooks the shops. They glow against the night sky.

“Hello Madam Amari.” Joe Hills says, and Amari turns her head, surprised. “I assume you’re here, this is the nicest view in the building, though if you aren’t here I assume I look insane.”

Amari smiles, knowing that Mr Hills says this as he enters every room. Perhaps she’ll give him the sight, for being kind to her and her wards. Void only knows that kind eccentric people deserve a power that is from an unknown blessing, and prophecy is so very over used.

[reader-fics]

Ward (Part One)

Requested by Anon

Warnings: minor character death

Summary: Imagine being the ward of a powerful Queen who was invited to peace talks with Camelot’s new king, Arthur, after Uther’s death. After an attack by a magic user, you find your destiny on a dramatically different path.

A/N: I have been working on this FOREVER and it ended up stretching so long that I split it up into a few parts. Never fear! I’ll post them soon. A/N written in the year of our lord 2020: hey y’all! It’s been a WHILE. I was feeling a little nostalgic and logged back into tumblr for the first time in a Long time to find that this little blog is still around. Holy shit. There were 500 of you when I left and now there’s more than 1k? That blows my mind. Anyway, I found this in my drafts and I never posted it. I can’t say I write with too much frequency anymore, but you never know what’ll happen. Much love XO -B

The day the herald arrived with the news of King Uther’s death you could have sang for joy. Not that you actually did, of course, as that would have been highly insensitive and also improper. As the queen’s ward you were expected to behave with a certain decorum at all times. You weren’t quite at the status of a princess, so you weren’t immune to legal hazards by all means, but common folk wouldn’t dare to challenge your authority either way. Needless to say, you were still excited.

As soon as the herald had delivered his message, plans were drawn up for a grand caravan to Camelot in order to cement new peace treaties with the new king, son of the old. You’d heard wonderful things about the boy, but only hoped he wouldn’t share the same views has his father. Magic was tolerated in your aunt’s kingdom, which made the horrid stories you’d heard about Uther persecuting those with magic all the more awful.

You had expected to stay home and look after the affairs of the court while your aunt was away, being queen and doing important royal things. You had no true power, but Lysa trusted you to get things done all the same. When your aunt informed you to instruct the servants to pack a trunk of your clothes and belongings, you were rightfully confused.

“Aunt Lysa, I don’t understand. Why must I come too?” You asked her, holding the servants from leaving with a gentle gesture of your hand. Lysa sighed and smiled tiredly at you.

“One day you’ll take my place as queen, Y/N. I cannot bear children–frankly, I have no desire to–and you are the only one I could bear to give my kingdom to.”

“But isn’t your cousin supposed to be your heir? Not me, surely!”

“I won’t let my dear cousin Albert within a mile of this crown if I can help it. No, I have had you proclaimed as my heir since your mother passed. I simply never told you because I did not want that burden upon you. As my ward you would receive the same education and knowledge of running a kingdom, so why change your title?” Aunt Lysa’s crow’s feet crinkled as she smiled again.

Your heart nearly stopped. Sure, all your life you knew that you had to grow into your responsibility to lead your aunt’s kingdom, but you’d always assumed that your role would be more behind-the-scenes. You’d assumed you were to be an advisor, standing silently among the wings and disappearing into the background. You’d never imagined having to bear the weight of your Aunt’s crown.

“Me?” You sobbed. “But, auntie–”

“Hush,” she soothed, wrapping her arms around your shoulders in a warm hug, “as of yet I am still young enough. You won’t have to take my place for years to come.”

“For years and years.” You nodded firmly, resting your head on her shoulder.

“While we’re in Camelot, my love, you just remember one thing.” She warned as she stroked your hair.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“No magic.” She said seriously, her voice taking on a somber tone. You nodded sadly. Your education as the queen’s ward had covered everything from maths and sciences, to interrelationships between kingdoms, and, yes, magic too. You weren’t very good at it, but you often found it convenient to light candles with only a wave of your hand.

How stern could a king be to forbid such time-saving devices?

—

Aunt Lysa wasted no time in preparing travel plans for herself and you in order to reach Camelot as soon as possible. She’d assumed that many other kingdoms would be trying to do the same and renew their treaties as well, so the earlier the better. She sent the herald back on his way to make sure Camelot’s new King knew you were coming.

Your trunk had been packed and loaded onto the carriage and you and your aunt disembarked. It was a comfortable journey to Camelot; only a few days in the slow bumbling carriage. It was capable in a day or so on horseback. You soon grew accustomed to the lazy rocking and jostling of the carriage. You and your aunt spent most of the trip in silence; you figured that she had a lot on her mind and thought it best not to disturb her.

As soon as you arrived, you threw back the curtains to look out the window, admiring Camelot’s citadel and it’s tall spires caressing the clouds. Much of the court was outside to celebrate your arrival. You looked to your aunt and found that she was at ease, relaxed into her chair. Right before she was to step out of the carriage and greet the people, she pulled her crown out from her bag and placed it carefully atop her curls. You always marveled at how she was very nearly a completely different person with her crown on than without. You were able to watch the transformation right in front of your eyes.

She stepped out of the carriage and you heard a smattering of cheers, and perhaps a trumpet or two. You lingered in the carriage as you knew your job was not to be seen nor heard. Tugging lightly at a loose thread on the curtain, you watched out the window as Camelot’s king, a young fair-haired man you recalled being named Arthur, kissed her hand. He was very graceful and poised for one you knew was an adept warrior. You were just musing on how fighting was actually a very graceful skill when you heard your aunt’s voice floating over towards you.

“Let me introduce my ward and heir, Y/N…” she told the king, gesturing back towards the carriage. You jumped up, terribly surprised, treading momentarily on your gown and cursing under your breath.

“Hello.” You said breathlessly as your toes hit the ground. Aunt Lysa shot you a chastising look as you forgot your decorum. “Your highness.” You added hastily.

Arthur reached to kiss your hand as well and you blushed. How did your aunt do this? All of the propriety and rules made you want to rip your fancy dress off and waltz off onto the woods somewhere and become a hermit. You’d heard rather fond stories of one who lived completely isolated from all human contact.

That sounded divine.

You could feel the eyes of the court boring holes into you, and you kept your eyes demurely on the floor. Quick! Say something witty!

“Thank you for welcoming us to your lovely home–kingdom!” You sputtered, wincing as it came out. That was awkward. Arthur seemed to be watching you with a mixture of curiosity and pity. Your face flushed and you refocused your gaze onto the toes of your boots. They were slightly scuffed, as one might expect from actually walking and running in shoes, rather than sitting still all day like your aunt had hoped you would.

After more formal introductions and a whole lot of dignified compliments, a servant led you to your chambers. He said to merely notify the guard outside in the hall of you needed anything at all. You smiled and thanked him, turning on your heel to explore your rooms. They were very comfortably furnished and you were surprised to find that your belongings had already been brought up.

The elegantly plush four poster bed called to you. Oh, how you longed to dive into the soft blankets and pillows and ignore the world outside! You sat stiffly on the edge of the bed, running your hands over the soft comforter. Later. Yes, you would sleep later.

A knock on the door disturbed you from your thoughts. It was just a serving girl, who let herself in quietly. She was carrying an armful of goods, which she quickly deposited on the table.

“Good day, my lady.” She smiled politely. “The Queen Lysa has sent me to prepare you for the feast tonight.”

“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary–”

“The queen has insisted.” She smiled apologetically, almost as if she knew you were going to say that. “Sit.” She commanded gently, and you moved to the chair that she’d set out.

The serving girl was certainly experienced in her ways. It didn’t take very long at all before you hair was tied back in an elegant and sweeping updo, your face was painted with all sorts of sweet-smelling cosmetics, and you were nearly ready to put on your gown.

The serving girl seemed to produce one out of thin air. You had never seen it before, but it was certainly gorgeous and fit you well. From what you could surmise, it seemed like it was a gift from King Arthur. How he’d known your measurements was beyond you. Once you were laced in and nearly couldn’t breath, you were dismissed to go and find your aunt.

You ran into her in the hallway. She was dressed very much the same as you, just in a different color. Without saying a word, she smiled and took your arm with an air of motherly comfort she always seemed to exude around you. Arm in arm, you entered the ballroom to waves of applause. Your breath was nearly ripped from your chest.

You’d never seen so much splendor and magnificence together in one room. Richly decorated tapestries draped the walls, shining tiles on the floors. The people, too, were spectacularly dressed, whirling around and preening like birds of paradise. The buzz of laughter and gossip filled the room like a haze on a humid summer afternoon, languid and sticky. Lysa’s fuss all made sense now. You fit right in among them with your jeweled hair and flowing gown.

When Arthur swept in to the hall, his red cape swinging mightily behind him, a silence dropped into every mouth. He smiled at your Aunt, once more welcoming her and thanking her for coming. Your eyes wandered around the room, your mind traveling with it.

Arthur continued speaking for what felt like eons, but not a single word registered in your mind. When the audience began applauding, you did too, mimicking their excitement. It was simply all too overwhelming. Lysa’s kingdom was a small one; you rarely found yourself surrounded by such a large and diverse group of people. It was all so interesting.

Lysa was seated at Arthur’s right hand. You, along with much of the rest of the upper court, took the table to the side where you could overlook both the royals there and the rest of the ballroom. Unfortunately, the gentleman next to you was far too chatty for your liking, talking your ear off and taking your hand in his when he mentioned his lack of wife. You politely excused yourself from the table, saying you needed some air.

That was definitely true.

Upon your return, you were relieved to see that said gentleman was entertaining some poor man on his other side with stories of what you could only guess to be battle glory. Based off of his portly figure and sunken-in features, they must have been ancient stories. You giggled a little to yourself and took your seat quickly to make sure not to disturb him from his story.

The night dragged on and you picked at the food on your plate. It was all delicious and expertly served, of course, but you simply had no desire to eat it. Being in a strange place so far from home made you uncomfortable, and your appetite was affected.

Taking your fork and nudging a piece of potato around your plate, allowing your mind to wander far and wide. You entertained yourself with thoughts of returning home. You pondered what you’d do first. Perhaps you’d head down to the stables and go riding into the meadows and thickets, with nothing but the breeze as your guide and fortune as your master. The thought of being in the warm open air rather than this drafty ballroom entranced you greatly. You could nearly feel the sun on your face and the winds whipping your hair around as a plaything.

Abrupt screaming broke you from your daydream. You looked up to see a hooded, shadowy figure scream something in a sharp, guttural tongue and gesture its hands towards your aunt. She recoiled as if struck by a sword. Her chair was flung backwards and she was thrown like a ragdoll across the ballroom. Your heart nearly stopped and you jumped to your feet, pushing a table out of the way to make it to her side.

“Aunt Lysa!” You screeched, trying to fling yourself forward to protect her, to save her, to cover her frail body with your own. Strong arms held you back, corded around your waist and entrapping your arms by your side. You thrashed against them; Aunt Lysa needed you! Your eyes blurred with tears and your throat burned from the ragged sobs that escaped your lips.

The same arms that held you back slowly drew you backwards. You turned to see a black haired servant pulling you away from the fray without taking his eyes off of your aunt. His eyes glinted golden in the firelight. Armored guards surrounded your aunt and hurried her away. You screamed after them. Lysa shouldn’t be taken anywhere without you! You needed her! How were you supposed to do anything without her there? The once peaceful banquet hall had turned into a madhouse. Servants and guests alike raced about, seemingly searching for safety and comfort.

In the chaos, you trod again on the hem of your gown and tripped, legs becoming tangled in the layers of fabric. Your head cracked sharply along a table and the world faded out, pain blossoming until it had taken over and become everything. Physical pain, yes, but also emotional pain. Aunt Lysa was… Was…

Find Part Two here!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Separation AU Part 1!

Requested by @grant-likes-minecraft. Hope you enjoy!

Summary: Impulse and Skizzleman have lived in the same world together for decades, and that’s just the way they like it. But all that will change when one day, Impulse is summoned (literally) to the Hermitcraft server...

(Based on Impulse literally canonically being brought to Hermitcraft via summoning circle in season 3)

...

  “WHOAAAA!”

  With a yelp, Impulse dropped into a shallow hole over where he had just been walking. He stared upwards as he heard laughter and spotted the grinning face of his best friend a few blocks above him.

  “Skizz!” Impulse laughed indignantly. “This is like the oldest trick in the book!”

  “Uh huh, and you fell for it,” Skizzleman replied through his laughter. “Skizz: one. Dippledop: zero.”

  “Get me outta here and I’ll SHOW you zero,” Impulse snickered. “Got any ladders?”

  Skizzleman dropped a single ladder into the hole. At Impulse’s raised eyebrow, he giggled and dropped a few more, before stepping back and letting his best friend climb out of the hole. 

  Impulse shook his head amusedly at the grin on Skizzleman’s face. “Have you done your chores yet? Or did you spend the whole morning setting up that prank?”

  “Whaaaat? Does that sound like something I would do?”

  “Yup.”

  Skizzleman made eye contact with Impulse, causing him to giggle again. “Okay, yeah, I did.”

  Impulse chuckled as he started walking back towards the house, letting his best friend fall into step beside him. “It’s your turn to harvest and replant, buddy.” 

  “Aww, but it’s so boring,” Skizzleman complained, flipping around to walk backwards so he could talk directly to Impulse’s face. “Can’t we just skip chores for today and go to the beach?”

  Impulse scoffed. “Skizz-.”

  “C’mon, just look at that ocean.” Skizzleman threw his arm out to indicate the sparkling sea, just visible through the trees. “Can’t you hear it calling you? Don’t you wanna just dive into the cool, refreshing water and just relaaaaaax?”

  “You’re doing a great job of selling it, I gotta admit,” said Impulse amusedly. “Okay, we’ll go to the beach, but only if you do crops for the next two days.”

  “Done.”

  Skizzleman broke into a run, causing Impulse to laugh and pick up speed to catch up with him. 

  However, at just over halfway to the beach, Impulse skidded to a halt, realising his entire body had started to glow. “Uh, Skizz?”

  His best friend stopped a few blocks ahead of him. “What? Oh…! Wait, what’s happening?”

  As Impulse was staring down at his glowing hands, he felt himself be lifted slowly off the ground, the block around him glowing brightly.

  “Wh-What’s going on, dude?!” Skizzleman yelped. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m not doing anything!” Impulse started to panic. “Skizz, help me!”

  He reached out blindly and Skizzleman grabbed his hands. Impulse hung almost upside down in the air, as if something was dragging him upwards by his legs. He strained against the invisible force, focusing on holding onto Skizzleman’s hands as tightly as he could.

  But the pull was just too strong.

  “IMPULSE!”

  Skizzleman cried out as he felt Impulse’s hands slip from his. He toppled face-first into the dirt, but by the time he managed to push himself onto his back and look up, Impulse had disappeared.

  Impulse couldn’t stop screaming as he fell through a weird, terrifying vortex of swirling colours. He managed to angle himself so he was feet-first, but this did nothing to alleviate his fear.

  And then he landed.

  He stumbled as his feet hit the ground, but quickly regained his footing enough to not fall over. Blinking against the bright sunlight shining directly in his face, he realised he could see the slightly blurry outlines of three people standing a little way off, watching him.

  Just as he registered them, one of the figures rushed towards him and grabbed him in a tight hug. “Impulse! Oh my god, I can’t believe it actually worked! You’re actually here!”

  The person’s distinctive voice helped Impulse identify him immediately, and he was so shocked that he momentarily forgot his disorientation. “T-Tango?!”

  Tango released him and stepped back, an expression of pure joy on his face. “You’re really here! I can’t believe it!”

  “Wait, wait…!” Impulse frowned, his brain still trying to figure out what had just happened. He stared around and found himself in a brand new world, entirely different from the one he had just come from. “Where am I? And how did I get here?”

  Tango beamed. “You’re on Hermitcraft, buddy!”

  “And you got here through a… uh… sort of wormhole,” added an unfamiliar voice.

  Impulse turned to find a person wearing green armour and a purple helmet. 

  “Hi, I’m Xisuma,” the person said, giving a friendly smile. He indicated the suited person behind him. “This is Mumbo.”

  “Hi!” said Mumbo happily. “Welcome to Hermitcraft.”

  “I…” Impulse blinked, hardly daring to believe it. “I really am on Hermitcraft? But- But why did you bring me here?”

  “Because you belong here, Impy.” Tango gripped his friend’s shoulders. “I’ve been trying to bring you here for months and it never worked until now. I don’t really know what Xisuma did, but you’re finally here.”

  “What about Skizzleman, though?” Impulse asked urgently. “You’re gonna bring him here too, right?”

  Tango’s smile fell. He glanced back at Xisuma, whose shoulders drooped. “I… um… I tried to grab onto both of you and get you both here, but… it didn’t work for Skizzleman. There’s something in his code, something that didn’t let me latch onto him. I can’t bring him here. I’m… I’m sorry.”

  Impulse stared at him, his stomach lurching. “So… I-I’ll never see him again?”

  “Not never,” said Tango quickly. “Just…”

  When Tango failed to come up with anything else, Xisuma said, “The borders between servers and worlds are rocky at best. We can’t send you back or bring him here, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good life here.”

  “A good life?!” Impulse’s fists clenched. “How can it be a good life without Skizzleman?!”

  Xisuma held out his hands to steady him. “Impulse, please, calm down a moment and-.”

  “Calm down?! Y-You just plucked me out of my world without my consent! Forcibly separating me from my best friend! What gave you the right to make that decision for me?”

  “Impy-,” tried Tango.

  “Don’t Impy me!” Impulse’s voice cracked. “We’ve lived together for most of our lives; I can’t just abandon him!”

  “You’re not abandoning him.” Tango grabbed his friend’s hands soothingly. “You’re moving on to a new life, a better life. If Skizz is truly your best friend, which he is, he can’t possibly resent you for taking the opportunity.”

  “I…” Impulse hesitated. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.”

  Xisuma winced and hung his head. “I’m sorry, Impulse.”

  Seeing how defeated Xisuma was, Impulse’s anger slowly ebbed away. He glanced back at the spot where he had been summoned, a lump rising in his throat. 

  “Impulse, this is the start of a new life for you,” Tango said gently. “And for me. Finally, you and I get to live on a server together. Imagine what we can do! The possibilities are endless.” 

  “But they’re not,” Impulse whispered. “Because Skizz isn’t here.”

  “Listen…” Tango hesitated. “You two have been together for… for god knows how many years. This change will be good for both of you.”

  “And I’ll keep investigating to see if we can bring Skizzleman here,” said Xisuma. “But in the meantime, your new life awaits you.”

  Impulse cleared his throat. While part of his brain wanted to scream and cry at being separated from his best friend, he couldn’t deny that he was excited about the chance to finally be on Hermitcraft, as a member of their family. So many more things were possible on a server than in a simple world, from building materials to redstone contraptions. And it wasn’t as if he would be alone; he had Tango, he had Xisuma and Mumbo, he had many other Hermits whom he hadn’t even met yet. 

  “Alright, then.” A smile slowly spread over Impulse’s face. “What first?”

  A spark ignited in Tango’s eyes. “Oh, first we gotta introduce you to all the other Hermits! Then we can talk about building bases. You and I could build one together! I’m thinking a giant underground base in maybe a nether style? There’s so many block palettes we can use and- oh, I think I might already have the perfect thing back at my-.”

  “Whoa, buddy, slow down,” laughed Impulse. “Let’s start with meeting the other Hermits, okay?”

  As Tango nodded happily, the phrase “other Hermits” reverberated in Impulse’s mind. He knew it would take a long time to get used to this change and wrap his head around the fact that…

   ...that he was a Hermit now.

…

  After six long, sleepless nights in the big house all alone, Skizzleman had finally given up and moved. With his limited building skills, he had managed to construct a small shack near to where Impulse had vanished. His spark, his passion for life, faded a little more with every day that passed. 

  Skizzleman exited his tiny shack and harvested the small amount of wheat next to the pond, before replanting it monotonously. He then used the wheat to make a few more pieces of bread for his stock. It wasn’t much but it was enough to get by. 

  After his chores were done, he made his way slowly towards the beach. The sand and the sea used to call to him, urging him to rush down there and have some fun. Not anymore.

  On his way, he passed the spot Impulse had disappeared from. No sunlight hit this block anymore. The small allium Skizzleman had managed to plant there was barely visible in the shade. 

  He lay down on the grass and stared morosely up at the sky, his hand resting on the dirt around the flower, his elbow bent slightly as if he had his arm over his best friend’s shoulder. Closing his eyes, tears trickled down his cheeks. 

  Skizzleman had never been so alone before.

[acidproofnotebook]

One-Punch Man Chapter 84, Update 125

As published online

Date:

Translator: u/hdx514

Rough page by page translations for those who don't want to wait. I'm skipping most pages with only sound effects.

Title page

Not lonely, but a solitary one

Pages 2-5

Bang wrecking Garou

Page 6

Genos: perfect moves that combine attack and defense into one

Ge: even though both use the same water stream rock smashing fists, the difference in master is night and day

Ge: the battle about to reach its conclusion

Page 7-11

Garou continues to get wrecked

Page 12

Garou: w…what is this

Ga: these vicious attacks are nothing like damn geezer’s style…

Page 13

Ga: bad…this is bad

Ga: my consciousness is…

Ga: it means…death…

Ga: Ahhhh

Page 14

Bang: what is that strange movement

Ba: where did he learn it?

Ba: he’s moving like a beast

Ga: I’m not done yet!

Page 15

Ga: if I use the fallen heroes as hostages, there might still be a way out!!

Bomb: I won’t let you

Page 16

Monsters get sliced up

Page 17 Bomb: Bang, we finished the monsters from the hole in the ground

Bo: it’s just Garou now

Page 18

Genos: life signals from monsters still remain

Ge: not sure why, but I cannot accurately assess their location or numbers

Ge:if we go down that hole, will we find the Monsters Association hideout?

Pheonix man: The Monster Association members were all killed? Damn, they really are unreliable.

Page 19

Phoenix man: even though we deployed significant forces to capture Garou alive

Ph: that Demon Cyborg…the power he possesses is unbelievable

Ph: even Silver Fang is here, there’s no chance we get Garou away from here

Ph: but if I leave empty handed after this crushing defeat, I might get eaten by Orochi

Page 20

Ph: regardless, I can only hope Garou can escape on his own …

Ph: ...what a desperate situation… Ph: does this mean I have to plan an exit strategy from MA…?

Ba: (referring to Bomb) if you were this badly injured, could you still be standing?

Bo: …if I were 60 years younger, I might be able to tough it out

Bo: …maybe

Bo: we’re almost there!!! Let’s finish him before the other heroes arrive!

Ba: roger

Page 21

Ga: can’t even move my wrists…

Ga: attacking your former number 1 disciple when he’s at his weakest, how despicable of you, Bang

Page 22

Ga: this other geezer, isn’t he Bomb, master of the whirlwind iron cutting fist?

Ga: to think the two reclusive masters of the martial arts world would gang up on me, shameless

Ga: even if I pretend to beg for my life, Demon Cyborg still won’t spare me

Ga: If I want to survive this crisis, I have to kill all three

Page 23

Ga (or Bang?): it’s impossible

Ba: do you know how much pain you have caused my number one disciple Charanko

Ba: Garou!!

Page 24

Garou flashback

Kids: let’s play a hero game!

Kids: you too, Garou

Kids: c’mon let’s play

Garou: huh, sure

Page 25

Kid: drum roll~~

Kid: justice man is here!

Kid: justice kick

Kid: aah it hurts!

Page 26

Ga: hey that’s dangerous

Kid: huh?

Ga: I feel bad (for the kid playing monster)

Kid: …how about you play the monster

Kid: justice cross

Ga: waa (steps out of the way)

Kid: what’s wrong with you?

Ga: s…sorry, Tatsu

Kid: I almost had you

Kids: what’s your problem, you’re a monster, you’re not supposed to do that

Kids: let’s pin him down

Kids: okay-

Page 27

Kid: justice man kick!

Kid: monster Garou defeated~

Ga: what is this, pre-death flashbacks?

Ga: these memories disgusts me

Ga: that kid…right, I remember him…Tatsu, that popular kid

Page 28

Kids: hey, what’s going on? Why are you fighting?

Kids: shall I call the teacher?

Kids: Garou is being violent

Kids: we were only playing, but he got mad! What’s his problem

Ga: I….I can’t take it any more!

Ga: come Tatsu, me vs. you, let’s figure it out

Tatsu: ha? What are you talking about, I thought we were just playing

Page 29

Ga:  I DON’T want to play monster! It’s no fun at all!

Ga: let’s duke it out, if I win you stop bugging me, that’s the deal!

Tat: Sabu, Yotsu, hold Garou down

Ga: despicable….stop…let go! I…

Ga: aah…damn it!

Kids: he’s crazy, let’s call the teacher

Kids: run Tatsu

Kids: pin him down, pin him down!

Kids: what happened?

Kids: you guys should come and help

Kids: Tatsu was being nice and Garou took advantage of him

Kids: he’s the worst

Kids: Garou got serious with Tatsu all of a sudden while playing the game

Kids: what’s this guy even thinking

Kids: I feel so bad for Tatsu

Page 30

Tatsu is a king among the kids, Tatsu is a bully, Tatsu is nasty

I’m in the dark, always alone I have no friends

Tatsu is a good athlete, Tatsu is popular

I despise the popular ones

not sure of the order of the following dialogue

Teacher: why did you get violent?

Te: I heard you got mad while playing a hero game, is that true?

Te: can you not even tell the difference between a game and reality!

Ga: no teacher, it’s because Tatsu is so popular that everyone is badmouthing me

Te: you were the violent one, weren’t you? What if a window got broken, how are you going to pay for that!

Ga: Tatsu always…always treats me like a monster

Ga: NO!

Page 31

Ga: I don’t dislike playing the monster

Ga: am I holding a grudge against Tatsu for playing the hero?

Ga: no, that’s not it either

Ga: it’s just that playing the hero game has made me realize how absurd it is

Ga: the one who’s popular can bully the one who’s hated however he wants

Te: you are in the wrong, apologize now

Te: call your parents

Ga: this is not just bullying, this is a faithful, real life adaption of a kids’ game that is accepted by the public.

Ga: you are free to choose your role, but the ones who ends up playing hero must have the support of the people, how could that ever be me.

Ga: naturally, the script in which the one playing monster scores the victory doesn’t exist in the first place. I was destined to lose.

Page 32

Ga: what is justice! What is evil!

Ga: at the end of the day it’s just following the will of the masses, and the masses wants me dead!

Ga: unforgivable! There is no logic!

Ga: I can’t explain the reason behind it, but it makes me mad!

Ga: I will make you understand! Ga: I will deliver my punch on behalf of the disenfranchised!

Ga: and I reject your notion of good and evil!

Page 33

Genos: he fell

Bang: it’s over

Page 34

Ga: no way it ends at a place like this!

Page 35

Garou shatters earth

Page 36

Bang/Bomb: what?!

Page 37-39

Garou lifts tree and swings it

Bo: this is bad, his body…

Ba: what’s with this burst of power?!

Page 40

Bang: don’t you realize it yet Garou!

Ba: if you keep going like this, you really will die!

Ge: Bang, above you!

Page 41-42

Phoenix man lands and grabs Garou

Page 43

Bo: more monsters!?

Ba: there’re still a few left!!!

Page 44

Ba: !

Ba: Genos-kun

Ge: Bang, you saw that just now, didn’t you

Ge: that thing has become monster, it even befriended one

Ge: I trust that you won’t object if I shoot both of them down

Page 45

Phoenix man (calling to Elder Centipede): Can you hear me!!?

Ph: I have Garou

Ph: just finish these guys off!

Ph: I’m leaving the rest to you!!

Bo: ???

Page 46-47

Ge: spiral incineration cannon

Ph: Elder Centipede

Page 48-50

Elder Centipede emerges and tanks Genos’ cannon fire

Page 51

Bo/Ba/Ge: What was that!?

Page 52-53

Elder Centipede breaking ground

Page 54-55

Disaster level: dragon

Giant monster insect Elder Centipede

Page 56

Bo: w..what…

Bo: is this a living thing!!?

Ba: damn, we must protect them (the fallen heroes)

Page 57

Ba: up you go

Page 58

Bomb using whirlwind iron cutting fist to save the fallen heroes

Page 59

Ge: those life signals must have been caused by it…

Ge: it’s not that I wasn’t able to pinpoint its location, it’s simply too massive

[very long -- rest under cut]

Page 60

Ge: completely unharmed after taking the cannon fire

Ge/Bo/Ba (not sure who said it): an opponent that can easily break my wrists…

Garou (I think): that centipede…

Page 61

Ga: why did you come here?

Ph: don’t worry, Elder Centipede will handle the rest down there

Ph: that guy is a literal natural disaster that swallows everything

Ph: his indiscriminant power of destruction is truly shocking

Ph: an anti-climactic “hero hunt” as usual, wouldn’t you say?

Ph: you  can’t just knock them out, they must be eliminated permanently

Ph: heroes who are knocked out will be always come back bouncin’

Page 62

Ph: …you just rest easy

Ph: Elder Centipede will end it all

Ga: ! (starts struggling)

Ph: stop wasting your energy

Ga: those heroes are my prey

Ph: yo yo, stop moving!

Ga: damn you, let me go! Unforgivable!

Ph: hey hey, don’t get angry

Ph: it’s your fault you didn’t finish them off after all

Ph: plus, this is a golden opportunity for us to off 2 S-class heroes

Ph: the S-class heroes are the biggest threat to the Monsters Association

Page 63

Ph: you experienced it firsthand, didn’t you

Ph: there is such thing as battle compatibility

Ph: if our advisor Gyoro is right, in the entire Hero Association, there are only four who could take on Elder Centipede

Page 64

Ph: The wielder of unparalleled supernatural power, “tornado of terror”

Ph: The sole commander of a military force that’s beyond even HA’s control, “metal knight”

Page 65

Ph: The strongest human “King”

Ph: And…the one who almost killed Elder Centipede, the strongest hero, “Blast”

Page 66

Ph: Elder Centipede is working with Monsters Association in order to seek revenge against Blast

Ph: he just can’t wait to lure the hermit Blast back onto the battlefield

Ph: unfortunately…those two down there (Bang and Genos) do not possess the power to turn the tides in their favor

Ph: Silver Fang has obtained unmatched power through martial arts, but that only works on opponents of a similar size

Ph: Demon Cyborg’s capabilities are terrifying

Ph: but he carries nothing on-board that will threaten a monster of this size.

Ph: He cannot go beyond the destructive firepower of his weapons

Ph: that is the limit of Demon Cyborg

Page 67

Ph: with a lineup like that, they are surely doomed

Ge/Bo/Ba: It’s coming!!!

Page 68

Page 69-70

Elder Centipede charging against the three

Page 71-72

Ba/Bo: Whirlwind water stream air-blasting sky-splitting fist

Page 73-75

Impact, Elder Centipede cracking, Bang and Bomb posing

Page 76

Ge: what a technique (flashback of Bang and Bomb talking about their technique: it’s a killing blow, but it has openings, my understanding is they needed Genos’ attack to act as decoy in order for their combo to land, because it’s not yet perfect)

Ge: it even shattered such hardened shell…

Ge: this must be

Ge: the pinnacle of technique/skill

Page 77-78

Ba/Bo: it’s not over yet x 10

Page 79

Elder Centipede pushes Bang/Bomb back

Page 80

Ba: ouch…that was careless

Bo: but we got it

Bo: the impact will ravage its body

Bo: turn into powder, monster

Ba: for two old folks like us, using this grand technique once is our limit

Ba: great thing we landed

Ba: a little help, Genos

Page 81

Ba: it’s over

Page 82

Elder Centipede molting

Page 83

Ba: it can’t be

Page 84

Ba: this guy just molted!!!

Ba: and it’s even bigger than before!?

Ba: how could this be

Page 85

Bo: we cannot defeat that thing…!

Bo: and we need to protect the unconscious heroes…

Bo: what shall we do!? Bang!

Ba: it’ll catch up to us if we tried to run

Ba: this forest park is just outside the city limits …

Ba: if we leave we’ll get civilians involved

Page 86

Ge: Bang, I will fight it

Ge: try my best to lure the centipede over here

Ge: you guys grab the injured heroes and get out of here

Page 87

Ba: Genos kun

Ba: you want to go alone

Ba: can’t say I agree with this plan…

Bo: I know there’s little chance of success, but don’t be reckless

Bo: the future belongs to the youths

Genos’ flashback of Dr. Kuseno: whatever you do Genos, don’t be reckless

Page 88

Ge: am I really going to…

Ge: leave this monster be

Page 89-90

Ge: That is not

Ge: possible

Page 91-92

Genos fighting Elder Centipede

Page 93

Ba: this is madness

Ba: cannon fire cannot harm it

Page 94

Ge: whether it’s this thing

Ge: or the monster from yesterday (Gouketsu)

Page 95

Ge: or Garou

Ge: they’re all part of the Monsters Association

Ge: this fight

Ge: is unavoidable

Page 96-97

Genos attacking Elder Centipede from above

Page 98

Ge: Dual Blade Rush

Ge: that’s what you have to do to fight them

Page 99

Ge: I’m participating

Ge: destroy

Page 100

Ge: if this is me being reckless

Ge: !

Page 101

Ba/Bo: Genos kun!!!

Ge: at this rate, I’ll…

Page 102

OUT OF THE FIGHT

Page 103

Genos recombines

Page 104

Ge: Jets drive arrow

Page 105-106

Genos kicks Elder Centipede tooth, which cracks

Page 107

Ba/Bo: he’s inside its mouth

Elder: it’s over…

Page 108

Ge: ! digestive acid

Elder: I’ll melt you in a few seconds

Ge: it’s you who are going to melt

Page 109-110

Ge: Super Spiral Incineration Cannon

Page 111

Aftermath of Super Spiral Incineration Cannon

Page 112

Bo: …!!!

Ba: he finished it!!

Page 113

Elder Centipede tanks the hit, is fine

Page 114

Ge: at the end…

Ge: I am unable to…defeat…

Ge: nor able to protect…

Page 115

Ba: let’s get out of here

Ba: Bomb!

Ba: grab the rest of them!!

Elder: futile struggle

Ph: what’s the matter

Ph: you were still responsible for taking out half of the heroes, it can’t be that bad

Page 116

Ga: not like that!

Ga: This is not what I had hoped!!!

Ga: I…I wanted to beat them with my own strength!

Ga: only then I can be a symbol of terror…!!

Ga: that’s the purpose of the hero hunt!!!

Ph: symbol of terror? You? Hahahaha…

Ph: in your current state, if you went back there, you’ll just end up getting trampled to death with the rest of the heroes

Ph: right now, you do not possess the strength to disobey Elder Centipede or executive members of the Monsters Association

Page 117

Ga: crying…

Ga: sooner or later…I’ll show you what I’m capable of…

Ge: how could I…

Page 118

Ge: what am I missing…!?

Ge: are there several others like that?

Ge: in front of those monsters…

Ge: what can I do, besides look on with envy…?

Bo: Bang! This is bad

Bo: at this rate it’ll get outside the forest park!

Bo: there will be casualties in the city!!

Page 119

Bo: at this rate…I won’t be able to walk

Bo: how old do you think I am

Ba: I’ll leave it to fate…

Ba: brother

Page 120

Ba: for the last time in my life, I’ll give it my all

Page 121-122

King: Elder Centipede~!!!

K: yo! Pest!!!!!

K: I’ve brought your target – “Blast”!!!!

Page 123

Ba: !?

Ge: that voice…King!!?

Ge: Blast!?

Ba: what…!

Bo: !!!? Look!!

Bo: it’s stopped chasing and is going towards another direction

Page 124

Elder: Blast…?

King: thaat’s….riiiight!

K: the very one that beat the crap out of you and made you wet yourself, the hero Blast!!

K: if you want to fight him again, come over here!

K: why are you so scared you can’t move?! Straighten up!!! Hey, if you’re about to shit yourself you should go home!

K: a bug like you, you must want to run back underground and suck on your mom’s tits!!!!

Page 125

Association staff: King arrived at the location near S city where Elder Centipede has reemerged!!!

Staff: thank god! It’s King, he’ll have a solution…

Staff: …there are several other heroes onsite

Staff: when I warned him their battle might cause collateral damage and injure the innocent, he told me “I hope you could give me information that can provoke Elder Centipede”

S: he might have wanted to lure the monster to him and fight it one on one.

Page 126

Staff: it sustained grave injuries at the hands of Blast in the past, but escaped with his injuries underground

S: it would be great if we could finish it off this time…

S: even though it’s top secret information, I still told king the past between Blast and Elder Centipede

S: and explained to him if the battle were to become dragged out or increase in scope, it might causegreat disaster for the surrounding areas …

S: what did he say?

S: he just said “understood”.

The roar of the King Engine……

Page 127

K: luring it here so no one else gets involved…

K: finish it off with one shot before it escapes underground

K: damage must be contained…blowing it back into the city is not an option…

K: there’s very limited time to make your decision

K: that’s it

Page 128

K: …

K: …Saitama?

Page 129

K: Saitama~!!!?

K: it’s about to

Page 130

Shot of Elder Centipede charging

Page 131-138

SERIOUS PUNCH

Page 139

Saitama: ah

Page 140

Sai: Genos, is that you?

Page 141

Sai: you really are here

Sai: just like King said

K: by the skin of my teeth…that was a close call…

Sai: it’s all good, we’re here aren’t we

K: huh? Saitama, you sound…happy?

Sai: I feel awesome for some reason

Page 142

Sai: it’s a great stress release after getting owned by you in video games

K (thinking): it’s still bothering him …

K: that’s not it…I thought I told you it’s because of your inflexible, singular approach towards battles

Ge: Saitama sensei, can I ask you a question

Sai: what?

Ge: what am I missing?

Sai: huh

Sai: power, I guess?

Page 143

Ge: …!!!!

Ge: thank you very much

K: aaaaaaahhhhhh…that’s no good Genos…

K: you cannot use Saitama as reference

Ge: sensei has guided my path with his battle

Ge: the symbol of great strength, that is my goal…

Ge: I will be there

Page 144

Ph: Garou…he has finally lost consciousness

Ph: rest easy

Ph: we’ll soon be with Orochi

END

[fluid-quartz]

its almost 2 am, i make poor life choices, and i just wrote a small ficlet based on @welsfight ‘s post about how ex eats and the weird theories that stemmed from it. i thought about putting the biggest part of it under the cut cause its like ~1800 words but i dont feel like it whoops

so without further ado, i present to you:

THE HERMITS AND THE MYSTERY OF HOW EVIL X EATS

It was a nice evening out, as they all sat around the campfire. Tango was sitting almost inside of it, roasting marshmallows for everyone that wanted them, and the others were just chatting with each other, about some of their projects and plans or simply about things that had happened.

Cub was looking pensively the whole time, as though he was trying to figure something out.

“Hey guys? Strange question, maybe, but… Do you ever wonder how Evil X eats, what with that helmet that never goes off?” The conversation around him dulled, multiple Hermits just staring at him for a moment.

“That… is a very good question,” said Zedaph as he jumped to his feet. He sensed there was a great game show in this, probably. “Ladiiiieeeeees and gentlemeeeeeen! Welcome to the first episode of How Do They Eat?! This time, we’re discussing Evil Xisuma!” A few of them chuckled, shifting in their places a little to be able to properly see Zedaph, who had just completely taken on his game show host persona, including putting a little desk of brightly coloured concrete in front of him.

There was only murmur for a moment, and then Bdubs stood up, dramatically clearing his throat.

“Well, I think he eats nutrient pills that he pops through a coin slot. So he can still have a balanced diet, you know?” As he spoke, Keralis’ eyes grew even larger than they already were.

“Slot machine? Did you say… Slot machine, Bubbles???” he said, not-so-sneakily looking around to see if Evil X was around somewhere. Iskall just laughed, and Bdubs looked at Keralis with judgment in his eyes.

“No, no, you can’t play slot machines on Evil X, he puts a cork in the coin slot when he isn’t using it.”

Keralis wanted to go against it, but Zedaph was quicker and louder.

“That’s an interesting theory you got there! But… Are there others? Surely you must have wondered before how he eats. Come, don’t be afraid to speak up!”

Doc immediately raised his hand, then stood up to speak.

“Guys. It’s obviously a teleportation ray. He just points at food, and it reappears in his mouth or stomach, depending on how lazy he’s feeling. It’s the simplest scientific explanation.”

“That’s a load of bullshit, Doc. It implies that he needs to eat, and we all know he’s secretly a robot. He just hasn’t shown it yet, right, guys?” Biffa interjected before anyone else could speak. There was some muttering about it, until Zedaph once more took over.

“Biffa, I appreciate the input, I really do – yes, yours too, Doc, don’t worry – but for the sake of the game, let’s assume he eats.”

“But what if he doesn’t? What if… What if he’s immortal! Immortals don’t eat, right?” Keralis butted in enthusiastically.

“Well, then we wouldn’t be playing this game, right? So! Theories! I personally think he can just remove a panel of his helmet, and then sucks it in like a vacuum cleaner. Or like Kirby, that might be closer to reality. They are both red, after all.”

“Kirby’s pink, Zed.”

“I don’t care, Tango, I haven’t heard you name a better theory.”

All eyes in the circle were suddenly aimed at Tango, who almost dropped a batch of marshmallows into the fire.

“Uh…. I uh… Maybe his helmet is just fused to his face? So like, it opens up when his mouth opens?” He sounded a tad unsure of himself, having to think up a theory on the spot. Still better than kirbying, though. Stress immediately started bouncing up and down on the ground, her hand raised high into the sky.

“Oh, oh! What if the glass part of his helmet just opens, so he can drop the food in?”

“Or the top. It could also be the top of his helmet that opens, like a fishbowl,” interjected TFC’s gruff voice. He sounded amused, though. Very much so.

“Wouldn’t that just create a very big mess? For all we know the bottom half can just open up separately from the rest, so he can just eat more or less normally,” Wels shrugged, looking over at Zedaph once more.

“Those are all very valid theories. A bit boring, though, and plain! There’s more points to be got with creative theories!” He was smiling widely, looking around at the others. Then he pointed at Iskall. “You! Iskall! What is your super mega awesome theory of doom?”

The swede looked bewildered, and thought for a moment. Then they could almost literally see a redstone lamp going on above his head.

“An airlock! Like in spacecrafts! That’s why the bit in front of his mouth sticks out a little, it’s so that food can first get surrounded by the Right Kind of air before it gets to him!” He was beaming, thinking his theory was the most clever one out there. Until Mumbo spoke up.

“Uhm… Iskall? How would he get the food from that airlock into his mouth?”

“I don’t know, maybe he just like… tilts his head backwards and hopes for the best?” Around him, various Hermits were laughing. The mental image of spooky, scary Evil X desperately trying to make a cookie fall into his mouth and failing horribly just did that to someone.

“Oh! If we continue in that vein a little… You know how items sometimes just kind of clip through walls? What if that’s how he gets food inside of his helmet? By having it just clip through? Sometimes it would just get stuck, though, out of his reach,” Impulse mused, smiling widely.

“Gosh, that would be soooo difficult to clean, though!” Stress sighed.

“Then he can just clip through some cleaning supplies as well, don’t worry about it.” Impulse chuckled, then stuck out his tongue at the face Stress made.

From the other side of the campfire, Jevin’s voice suddenly popped up.

“You know, I bet he eats enderpearls like eggs.”

The murmuring that had been present completely died down as he looked around, completely serious. Zedaph opened and closed his mouth a few times.

“That.. That wasn’t even the question, Jevin! Do you have any theories about how he eats instead?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I do. I think he just… He either boils them, and eats them with the crunchy scale, or maybe he just sticks a straw in to slurp up the insides. Evil X seems like someone that would do that.”

“ABOUT HOW HE EATS IN GENERAL, JEVIN, NOT ABOUT HOW HE EATS ENDERPEARLS!” Zedaph sighed, then shook his head and facepalmed. “Anyone else. Literally anyone. Please.”

Python mumbled something in response, too quiet for even the people around him to hear properly.

“Could you repeat that a bit louder, please?” Zedaph asked, and Python looked him straight in the eyes.

“… maybe he vores?”

“No. Nope. Cursed theory right there, ladies and gents. Python, please go sit with Jevin to think about your sins, and maybe you won’t go in the dunk tank.” He pointed over to were the grinning slime man was sitting, and Python stood up with a shrug, faking disappointment and fear for the dunk tank. Then Mumbo raised his hand.

“Okay, so, what if his helmet functions the same as Darth Vader’s mask? What if there’s just some kind of mechanical cheese grater that he can just put food through, so it can go through his helmet and into his mouth without too much trouble?” A bit of muttering sounded here and there, once again with sounds from Stress about how horrible that would be to get clean.

“What if… What if he just like… Photosynthesizes, man… like a flower, getting nutrients from the sunlight and from putting his feet in the dirt… how nice would that be, man...” Ren said, his drawl slow and relaxed.

“Ren, I think you had too many of those mushrooms, your Renbob is showing. Though, I think it’s quite obvious. He just uses a feeding tube to get his food in, or perhaps a straw and blendered food. It could simply go through a small hole in the helmet.” Scar then popped a few unroasted marshmallows into his mouth before continuing. “That way, there’s no mess at all.”

The theory earned him some nods, and then Cleo stood up. Slowly, to get the attention of everyone around.

“While all of you have great ideas, I think it’s obvious how it works. Evil X just eats like Sandy the Squirrel, from Spongebob.”

“And how would that be, Cleo?” Impulse asked.

“Well, he just… puts food into his mouth through the bottom of his helmet, where it connects to his armor. Of course, that means he has to open up his armor a little bit, but that’s done easily enough. I bet he has a zipper too.” She smiled widely, with a look in her eyes that said that she knew full well that there was no way that her theory was correct. It made Joe sigh dramatically.

“What is wrong with all of y’all?! He would just take off his helmet and eat like a normal person!” False raised her hand.

“I gotta stop you there, Joe. We both know that he can’t breathe Overworld air unaided, like X can’t either. So, let me propose the following: He takes a whiff of his inhaler so he got air for a little bit, then he takes off the helmet and he just starts shoveling in as much food as he can before putting his helmet back on. And then he repeats that until he’s done eating.”

“I can live with that,” Joe said, and then he looked over at Zedaph. “That seems like a good and valid theory, right?”

“It certainly does, Joe! But… Since we’re nearing the end of the episode, why don’t we ask X for some clarity? If anyone knows, it would be him. Let’s see how close we got, everyone!” He then proceeded to pull Xisuma to his feed, and pushed him to be behind the host desk. It made the admin chuckle, but he took on the role that was apparently expected of him.

“It’s quite simple, actually,” Xisuma started, “Just like me, he can use a breathing tube so he can just take off-”

He then got interrupted by Grian yelling “STOMACH MOUTH! STOMACH MOUTH!” repeatedly at the top of his lungs, because he couldn’t quite believe how easy and boring the solution was. Xisuma looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, and then he just shook his head as the Hermits around started laughing. He loved those idiots.