#living out my dreams on this little multi

[vigilantejustice]

carfunkel may be sitting dead in the driveway but after three very reliable very funky years i made my last repayment + officially own him :-)

[crumbledcastle28]

Azriel Shadowsinger: Unexpected

Pairing: Azriel x fem!reader

Summary: Azriel does his duty for his Court completely and utterly isolated, and he likes it that way. His ideology begins to waver, however, when another begins to do it better.

Warnings: reader tortures (but mostly intimidates) a male, reader also has severe trauma that will be discussed later on. Swearing, crying, references to cutting , torturing, and blood. Az pretty much gets a boner from all of this, and also Cassian is here. I think I went a bit off canon as well. If I need to add any more TW, please let me know! Please do not read if you do not feel comfortable.

A/N: This is my attempt at writing anything multi-part for the first time in months, so I hope u can pull it off. This is Part 1, and Part 2 will be posted in the next coming weeks. Thank you to anyone who has supported my writing—I hope you like this one too :)

If you’d like to leave a like, comment, reply, or ask, it would be much appreciated <3

Azriel Masterlist

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3

In all of Azriel’s centuries of living, killing, torturing, and fucking, he had never seen a male quiver and crawl from his restraints so relentlessly.

When you entered his pitch black chamber, knives covering seemingly every ounce of your body, the male looked as if crawling out of his own skin would be better than even looking you in the eye.

He could only see your silhouette as you opened the iron door, making sure it was locked behind you as you closed it, and blood began to pump to his groin.

You were so…unexpected.

Rhys had come in only minutes ago, telling him about the spymaster from the Autumn Court who had practically dropped this male into his hands.

“She’s been tracking this group for weeks—months even,” he whispered to Azriel. “Beron spoke highly of her the last time we brought this group to his attention, and he agreed to let us use her. For now.”

Her.

Az would be lying if he wasn’t a little…intrigued.

Never once did he think a female was incapable of doing a job like his. He was only surprised by the fact that of all people, Beron had a female for his spymaster. He had his doubts that Beron put this female—you—into this position for the right reasons.

Either way, he was grateful. The “group” that Rhys was referring to were a group of rebel Illyrian males who did not like the way Rhys was running things. They had done enough damage in Illyria for Rhys to take notice, but when they started expanding further south, that is when the other Courts finally showed some interest.

Most notably—Beron. Hence why you were walking slowly into his chamber, covered in weapons, prepared to get information from this male no matter how bloody you got.

He saw the curves of your body take shape in the darkness, but it wasn’t until you stepped into the thin strip of light shining through the small window above your head.

His throat dried and his chest tightened.

Divine, he thought. Murderously so.

Had he dreamed you into existence?

You breezed past him, not even batting an eye. You were zeroed-in on the male strapped to the metal chair, huffing and pressing himself as far away from you as he could.

He got a whiff of your scent, and his eyes fluttered at its gravitational pull.

“Agnar,” you mumbled huskily, “it’s been too long.”

Az could only watch you work.

The male was breathing out of his nose, and sweat began to drip down his temple. His wrist restraints groaned from his badly he was pulling them.

“Did you get in trouble again?” you ask him, walking slowly towards him and pulling a knife from your thigh. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t do that anymore.”

Your voice lowered more and more as you spoke.

“No—no,” the man whimpered, pressing the back of his head against the chair and meeting his gaze with Az’s. “Anything. I’ll tell you everything. Just get her—get her away from me.”

It was then that you decided to acknowledge that Az was even standing behind you. You turned your head to the side, giving him an illuminated view of your side profile, and only your eyes were turned towards him.

You scanned his body from his face to his feet and back up again, taking in his form. Any other male would think you were sizing him up, but Az knew you were taking note of every visible weapon he had on him and reading his body language.

Someone had trained you well. So well, that even Az felt a bead of sweat drip down his own back.

He cleared his throat before saying, “she’s fine where she is.” He nodded to you, and you gave him the subtlest of nods back. There were zero emotions present in your eyes.

You then turned your face forward once more, and continued.

“You can make this so simple, Agnar,” you said to the male, twirling your ruby-coated dagger in your hand, “and you can be out of here in no time.”

You leaned closer to him.

“Where is your group headed next,” you asked, slowly. “Tell me the exact location, and I won’t have to use this.”

The man continued to meet your intense gaze and swallowed grimly. He kept his chest puffed, attempting to keep any of his ego intact, but his body continued to shake at your proximity. It rattled so hard his feet were bouncing off the floor.

You grinned at his silence and pressed the tip of your knife to his leather-covered chest. He sucked in a breath.

You traced a line across the entire expanse of his chest, following some invisible line, before saying, “I can give you a matching one, if you’d like.”

A scar. You were tracing one of his scars. That you had given him.

“It seems unfair of me to only give you one,” you whispered, “when two will impress the females even more, won’t they?”

You had cut a scar that long across his chest? No wonder he was shaking so hard the chair was rattling.

“Come on Agnar. Just a location.”

You kept saying his name in such a way that was making his skin crawl. It bothered him to no end.

Az just…watched.

You pushed the tip of your blade into the center of his chest, not enough to touch skin, but enough to poke through the fabric. The male’s body went still as death.

“I went easy on you last time,” you grumbled, “I won’t make that mistake again—”

“Ironcrest,” the man shouts, heaving. “Ironcrest Camp. Their plan is to rally their forces at Ironcrest Camp.”

Your body tensed, as well as Az’s, and your voice somehow went deeper. “When?”

“I don’t know. I swear it on the cauldron.” He was practically weeping. “They’re having a meeting about it in a brothel somewhere in the Steppes seven nights from now, but that’s all I know. I swear it.”

You slowly pulled the tip of your knife from his clothing and backed away from him. The male audibly exhaled as you did, and he breathed deeper and slower the more you backed away from him.

Ironcrest.

Az’s mind started to spin. He knew of many brothels in the Steppes, and he hated every single one. The last thing he wanted to do was go anywhere near those places, but exploding a window or two wouldn’t hurt. He would honestly enjoy it.

The issue was: which brothel?

He ran over the names and locations of each one in his head, but the wheels in his head came to a screeching halt when you turned your frame towards his completely.

Gods.

The way the light was shining on you from overhead made you look ethereal. You looked lethal with a coating of death over your irises, and nothing could prepare him for how sexy he found you. Everything about you. From the leathers you were covered in to the way you held yourself.

He knew he shouldn’t be thinking that way. He had heard you say maybe twenty words in total, and you had only glanced his way once, but damn him if he wasn’t a bit hypnotized by you.

“I know the brothel,” you said to him, and he noticed how your voice had turned more neutral once you began to speak to him. “I can get there in more than enough time.”

You began to walk back towards the door, but he stuck his arm out in front of you, his hand hovering in front of your stomach.

“Wait,” he said, and your eyes met his again. “Rhys will need to hear about this. He will want me to go with you as well.”

“I don’t need your help,” you spat, and your breath coated the skin around his collarbone.

He didn’t know how to respond, so he lowered his hand from your stomach, and let you pass.

It wasn’t until his hand dropped to his side that he felt a tingle crawling up to his elbow, and the scent of you still lingering in his nose.

He exhaled when he heard the door close, and ran a hand down his face.

“I have never seen you so entranced, brother,” Cassian said from the shadows behind him, making him jolt.

Had he been there the whole time?

“Shall I tell Rhys that his spymaster cannot keep his dick in his pants around a pretty lady?”

Pretty lady.

An anger rose up inside Azriel, and he straightened his shoulders to tame it.

“Fuck off, Cas,” Az mumbled, and Cassian threw his head back in a laugh.

“Relax, brother,” he said and placed his hand on Az’s shoulder, shaking him a bit, “you’ll see her again soon enough.”

Az didn’t bother to watch Cassian leave.

Soon enough.

If only Azriel knew how truly unexpected you were about to become.

Tag list: (if you’d like to be added, please let me know! I apologize if your tag is not working/is not added)

@leahkenobi @notquitehero @lovelyladymayyy @seraphqueen123 @em---r @azaideen @katiebellf @llovelydove @tinasbookishlife @sayhitomommy @wickedazriel @xxpeachyxo @icarusave @forever-paramore28 @peachyxlynch @evlynclia @feyretopia @wingedmiken

[hertzwritings]

Better

A/N: This is the first Sebastian Stan story on this blog! I’M SO EXCITED!!! And to make it even better, it’s a request from the always amazing @one-sweet-gubler, so let me tell you, I RAN to write this. Also, I have decided to keep the readers family nameless and/or come up with some myself – it makes my eyes go kajhfsfughudfglndgjkfdz when I read to many Y/N Y/M/ Y/D/N and so forth in a row. I also had to change it a little, because for some reason, the meeting the family for the first time just didn’t want to work with me – I hope I do you justice anyway!

Request: Can you write one where he meets readers family for the first time and watches her play with a baby and it gets him feeling some way about her.

BITCH WATCH ME!! Yes to all of this! I hope I do you justice, my sweet.

Remember feedback feeds the soul, and requests are always open – I have no limits at all because I am me.

You can donate to my Ko-Fi here, and I’ll write you a personalized one-shot or multi-chapter fic, depending on the amount. It would help greatly with my bills for my medicine.

MASTERLIST

SEBASTIAN STAN MASTERLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x female reader

Warnings: Language, fluff, implied smut, implied breeding kink (I’m sorry I couldn’t help myself)

Wordcount: 2.210

To love is to live

“Babe, are you good to go?” He yelled through the house as he put on his jacket. “Just a minute!” He grinned. “You’ve been saying that for thirty minutes!” He yelled back and pulled his shoes on. “Well, one minute in woman-time is thirty minutes in man-time, you know that.” Her voice became clearer as Y/N descended the stairs, and when he saw her, his mouth went dry.

“Goddamn, you look fucking stunning.” He breathed, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissed her. “We could just stay in, get a really serious round of the pukes. Or shits. I’m not picky.” He mumbled, hand traveling down to her ass and squeezing it. She hummed. “You better shut up, we gotta go.” She kissed him chastely and he groaned, following her outside and into the car. As he drove, he couldn’t help but glance at her, feeling absolutely amazed that that woman had chosen him for some godforsaken reason.

It was funny how much another person could change one’s life. He hadn’t really expected to meet her (or anyone, for that matter), simply going through life the way he did; wearily but happily. He bumped into her late one night, her back meeting his chest and when she turned around, he was sold. She had the softest eyes, he’d ever seen, and they fell on him, while a smile grazed her lips, and suddenly, he was not his own person anymore.

He had been a stumbling fool, a downright idiot and not at all like himself, when they went out the first few times. She had seriously just grabbed his heart and pulled it straight from his chest, taken in and put it somewhere – and he could not be happier.

That was three years ago. Three years since she stumbled into his life, and the time before her seemed foggy and hazy; like it had been some weird fever-dream. She made him feel complete.

“What’s going through your head?” She asked, pulling him from his thoughts. He smiled and grabbed her hand. “Not much. Just how lucky I am to have you.” She grinned. “Yes, you are.” “What would I ever do without you?” “God, I don’t know. Crash and burn?” She laughed a little. “Good thing you never have to wonder. It’s too much of a hassle to get rid of me now, you know.” He chuckled and kissed the back of her hand, eyes on the road. “You’re right. It would be such a pain to divide all the things… The cat. Nah, it’ll be easier to just stay together at this point.” She laughed at him.

“Hey, you’re sure you’re ready to meet my extended family?” He nodded. Although he felt like his heart was coming out of his ass from pure nerves, he wanted to meet them; she’d lit up when he agreed to come to the family cook-out and there was no way in hell, he’d ever back down from that. She had him wrapped around her fingers, and he was more than happy to stay there. “Sure, sweetheart. You’ve met my family.” She had gone with him to Romania for the summer and met a bunch of his family there – and seen where he had spent more time than he knew of. “Yeah, but still. My family is a little…” She sighed. “Much.” “Babe, you saw my uncle behead a chicken with his bare hands. I don’t think you can top that.” “I still don’t understand how he did that.” She mused. “And that’s probably for the best.” He laughed.

----------------

Just under an hour later, they pulled up to the lakehouse, the family had rented out for the weekend – Y/N and Sebastian wouldn’t stay for more than a day, mostly because his schedule was so tightly packed these days, but they would stay for as long as they could. He could already smell the barbeque. “Will you grab the gift in the back?” She asked as she got out and ran her hands over her dress. “Sure. Which one had a baby, again?” She took the gift from his hands with a smile, and they started walked to the house, his hand on the small of her back. “My cousin, Abby. It’s the second one, and you better prepare yourself for an onslaught of questions about when we are going to have one, she’s the only one who has kids yet.” She said, grinning at him. “That’ll be fun.” He said, winking at her. “Don’t you find it weird when people ask? Theoretically, they’re asking if we have sex. Seems weird to me.” “You know, I’ve never thought about it like that, but thank you, now that’s all I’ll hear when my dad asks.” She rolled her eyes as they turned the corner to the patio and a symphony of hello’s rang through the air.

Y/N’s mom and dad were the first to reach them, hugging both of them tightly. “It’s so good that you could come too, Sebastian!” Her mom exclaimed, looking him over. “You seem skinny. Have you eaten yet?” He grinned. She always did this, no matter what – he kind of liked it, it reminded him of his own mother. “I’m not starving the man, ma.” Y/N rolled her eyes at her mom. “Might as well be. Come say hello to the rest.” Y/N’s dad laid a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “I’m gonna get you a beer or fifteen. You look like you might need it.” Sebastian followed his eyes and saw several family members staring at him with open mouths. Fuck. “Thanks, I think I might need that too.” He grinned and followed Y/N to the group of people sitting in the patio-furniture.

“Everyone, this is Sebastian, my boyfriend, Sebastian, everyone.” She pointed to each individual member of her family. “There’s Abby, her husband Steve, my other cousin and her girlfriend, Suzanne and Cecilia, my aunt, Brie and my uncle, Roger.” She finished with a smile. Abby held her hand out and he shook it. “And that little octopus on my husband’s legs is our daughter, Marie. This little fella…” She nodded to the child in her arms. “Is James.” “Nice to meet you all.” “You’re like… Sebastian Stan, Sebastian, right?” He nodded at Abby’s husband. “So… If I get you really, really drunk, you might slip up on some details about the next phase of Marvel?” Y/N rolled her eyes and slapped the back of his head. “Dude, come on.” “What, I’m curious!” Sebastian laughed and gratefully accepted the beer from Y/N’s dad before sitting down. Y/N put the gift next to Abby, who thanked her, and sat down on his lap, stealing the beer from his hand and taking a sip. “Yes, you can have some.” He said, laughing lightly.

Conversation flowed easily – not that he had expected anything else, it was Y/N’s family, after all – and he felt more and more comfortable. Marie had apparently decided that he was her one, true love, because she was constantly around him, showing stuff off (her one-armed Barbie being the favorite) and wanting him to play with her. He had done it without hesitation, loving the kid’s imagination. Steve had gone inside to help with the food, and Abby stretched a little – the older adults had gone for a walk, trying to enjoy the last rays of sun.

“Hey, Y/N?” She asked, her lips curling a little. “I have to put Marie down for a nap, and since Steve is busy in the kitchen… Could you hold him for a minute?” Y/n nodded happily, and Abby grabbed Marie, hoisting her on her hip. “Say goodnight, baby.” “Night!” Marie called out, waving as they walked to the house, which left Sebastian alone with Y/N.

His heart was going to jump out of his motherfucking chest.

She cradled James with one arm, the free hand gently stroking his hair. She cooed at him, softly swaying with him and then she started singing, which sent him into orbit. It was a vision, he never thought he'd be seeing and it wrecked him.

He never really thought about having kids. Not until he met her, at least, but it wasn’t something that was really at the forefront of his mind. That changed the minute he saw her with a baby in her arms.

Visions of Y/N waddling around with a pregnant belly, chasing a small toddler with his hair and her eyes flooded his brain. The giggles were almost as real to him as the whisper of wind in the treetops and he sucked in a hard breath. In his mind, he’d cradle the bump, reading stories softly in the dark of the night, resting his hands there and feeling the small movements from within. His breath hitched at the thought. He almost wanted to go back home right now and put her to bed and make sure she’d stay there until she was pregnant. She caught his eyes and smiled softly, now holding James to her chest, his head softly placed on her shoulder. “He’s so gorgeous.” She whispered. The kid had fallen asleep, mouth wide open and snoring lightly. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat and walked to them with his eyes trained on her. He smiled as he let a finger run down the length of James’ nose. He was truly beautiful. “You want kids, baby?” He asked in a hushed voice, heart picking up. She raised an eyebrow and swayed gently back and forth.

“Yes. Like… Three.” “Three, huh?” He asked, cupping her face in his hand. “Mhm.” Her eyes were burning into his. “Do you?” He smiled. They hadn’t actually had the conversation before, just simply brushing it off whenever it came up – not that he didn’t want to talk about it, but they enjoyed their life as it was, and he was afraid he’d jinx it if he opened for that conversation. “Yeah.” He simply said, kissing her gently. She hummed against his lips and he felt a sense of belonging, that always came with her. She was home. “Really?” Her voice was playful. “When?” “Darling, I’d go right now, if you wanted to.” He answered truthfully. Her smile was wicked, eyes narrowed a little in that way, that made him stir in his pants. She was going to be the death of him, and what a glorious way to die.

“Thank you for holding him!” Abby’s voice cut through and she rushed to take James from Y/N’s arms. “Wow, you’ve got a grip on these. He’s been screaming his head off for weeks, I think that’s the first time he’s fallen asleep so easily.” She said happily. “You guys should consider it. No pressure, though.”

She rushed off again, saying something about food being ready soon and Sebastian groaned, already way too riled up for anything that didn’t relate to Y/N being naked and a bed. Or a chair. The ground. Anything really, as long as she was naked. She ran her fingers through his hair. “So… You want to just… Try? Fill me up?” She whispered. He groaned loudly and he was pretty sure his nether regions could be useful as a gearstick at this point. “I think we’ve gotten super sick. Like… Right now. A horrible migraine.” He whispered back, his lips close to hers. “I think we need to go home. It might be best…” He captured her lips with his. He was burning up, ready to just throw it all to hell and just take her right there and now. She giggled against his lips.

“Well, keep it in your pants, buddy.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes at her as she took his hand and led him to the house.

“Don’t worry, we’re going to go home early. I’ll get super sick in three hours.” She winked at him.

He smiled back at her. She better.

TAGLIST: FYI I'm adding people from my taglist from my Marvel-blog, and if you want off or on the taglist, let me know!

@the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @cooldreamlandsandwich

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Pros and cons of living with and dating one piece guys

Author's note: I couldn't make up my mind on which of the guys to use this prompt with, so I'm trying my hand at a multi-character scenario.

King the Wildfire

Pros

You will never be cold ever again

He will carry you around, purely out of convenience to him because he's impatient and he feels bad listening you try to keep up with him.

You will never have boring sex

He keeps snacks in his office and his living quarters.

You will always have shade to stand in

He will do your hair every morning

King has a great fashion sense, look at him, he's wearing ruffles while still looking like a a badass, so he will actually be useful when you ask him how you look, and when you're shopping.

He'll be your emotional support bitch if you need him to be.

King likes taking you flying at night if it's warm

Cons

Feathers fucking everywhere, on your clothes, in your food, you will never be rid of them again. He sheds more down feathers than six feathered boas and the flight feathers are longer than your entire body.

King is still warm and hot in the summer, you will be sweaty four months out of the year

He's emotionally constipated, so good luck getting him to talk about his feelings.

You will always be second best to an ill-tempered dragon with a drinking problem.

King will just throw himself out a window or fly off to get out of conversations or situations he doesn't want to deal with, which is most of them.

He has the personality of a grumpy cat and you are one of only two people he even vaguely likes and even then he's still prickly with you.

Shanks

Pros

Life with Shanks is never boring, he's always got something interesting to do

You will literally be the happiest you've ever been

You will have all the physical affection, that you were denied as a child, from Shanks

He will truly love you to the moon and back and show it to you every single day.

He looks at you like you are a dream come true.

Cons

Either talks way too much or too little

He will start a task, get distracted, and forget about that task, meaning he leaves a bunch of half finished chores in his wake. So if you leave him unattended you will come back to your quarters in a state of disarray.

He will drag you shopping to buy clothes for him, and he will then proceed to ask your advice and then not take said advice. He will buy every pair of pants you call ugly, and proceed to wear them shamelessly and proudly and, infuriatingly, still look like a snack.

You will be in charge of your finances, and Shanks is terrible at sticking to a budget.

You have to wash all the laundry, but he puts them away and does the bed.

He is horny literally all the time, it's like his dick knows you're there before he does.

Benn

Pros

He keeps a box of momentos from throughout your relationship.

Being in a relationship with him makes your life so easy.

He's good at budgeting, he keeps track of all the important paper work, and handles the bills, and if he wasn't already commiting tax evasion he'd handle the taxes, even if your taxes were quarterly.

Benn pulls his weight in both house keeping and child rearing, excluding the financials.

He does what he's asked, so if the bathroom door is creaking like it's a wookie and you ask him to oil the hinges, it'll be done by dusk that day.

Benn is immensely tolerant of your shenanigans or gremlin like behavior, some days he finds it downright finds it endearing

Cons

He never fucking talks, you will go through large chunks of your relationship not knowing what label to give it.

He will move you into his private quarters before asking you to be his significant other.

He falls asleep smoking

Benn and Shanks are a package deal

Together you are a noble tricycle, with Shanks and the big leading wheel and you and Benn as the stable back wheels being pulled along.

Marco

Pros

Marco will use his medical and herbal knowledge to make you nice but helpful things like lotion, or herbal baths.

Marco is the perfect trip sitter

Very casual about PDA, and I down to snuggle nine times out of ten

Marco can and will cook for you

He remembers important dates, and information about other people.

In private Marco is very clingy, like he will lay on top of you and use you as a pillow.

Most of you and Marco's day to day time together is spent reading, working, and sleeping.

Marco will let you snuggle his phoenix form

He sets you on fire to make you feel better

Marco is a fucking tease, to everyone, so the more reactive someone is the more he's going to tease, which can either be very fun or very embarrassing for you

Marco will let you know you are the love of his life, but he's quieter about it than Shanks.

Marco has a habit of liking to look at you, which leads to him checking in on you during the day, or if he doesn't need to be anywhere, he'll just watch you.

He has the warmest hug, the best hugger out of the group

Cons

Feathers, less so than King, but still feathers

Will throw himself overboard to get out of things he does not want to do

He works too much, which means he doesn't get a lot of free time off to spend with you.

Time is meaningless to him, so you'll have to remind him to eat and sleep

Marco is unfortunately a very messy man, his office is a state of organized chaos.

He likes watching you squirm.

Marco likes to play this game called "suddenly flying" where you'll be on deck and Marco will scoop you up with his bird feet and he'll take you flying.

support me on Kofi and Patreon

[cas-fulleditmode]

the sims 3 lepacy: gen 1 - 5 (founder & heirs)

so i’ve been playing a LEPacy (legacy with expansion pack-themed gens) since february and i wanted to show off my heirs.

more detailed descriptions under the cut

gen 1: kye hoff (base game) kye spent most of his adult life living in a swamp house with little to no furniture. his LTW was becoming a chess master which also led him to pursue a career in law enforcement. whenever he wasn’t chasing after his goals, kye spent his free time hooking up with sims all over sunset valley, eventually getting pauline wan pregnant. having his son grow up and live with his mother allowed kye to further stabilize his living situation, eventually marrying elder bachelor gobias koffi in hopes of inheriting his massive beach mansion.

gen 2: cliff hoff (world adventures) growing up with a spontaneous and nature-loving mother like pauline made cliff develop an interest in travel and a desire to see the world. moving in with his father allowed him to utilize his recently acquired wealth and get a head start in becoming a master tomb raider. too bad that spending most of his time by himself in caves and basements didn’t allow him to develop much of a personality aside from him acquiring vast riches, a loving husband and a healthy relationship with his surrogate daughter, tomeka.

gen 3: tomeka hoff (ambitions) even though tomeka’s dads spent most of her childhood and adolescence relaxing and taking on the occasional self-employment gig, tomeka herself dealt with overachiever tendencies from childhood onwards, from studying the baked goods market to eventually becoming twinbrook’s multi-talented superheroine, decked out in spandex suits and matching vehicles. wanting to become a jack of all trades, tomeka never held a job down for long, and becoming aware of how unprofitable that was for her, she later turned to mineral mining, straining the world from its natural resources like a true girlboss would. in order to maximize productivity, tomeka and her high school sweetheart dwayne opted on using their time machine to try for a baby in the past, hoping it will find its way back to present day once it���s old enough.

gen 4: jarrett hoff (late night) and so he did. jarrett found his way back to present day after being left in a cave by his parents. he spent his teen years adjusting to modern society while also pursuing drama class in high school which eventually led him to an acting gig in bridgeport. life in the big city was a huge change for jarrett, especially as he didn’t expect his romantic encounter with a-list celebrity matthew hamming to thrust him into stardom so suddenly. quickly, jarrett stepped into his great-grandfather’s footsteps and became known as bridgeport’s superstar homewrecker, eventually getting married to richie striker as part of a publicity stunt. after unsuccessfully dabbling into a music career, vampirism and getting stuck at being a 4-star-celebrity, jarrett decided to clone himself to have an heir to his legacy.

gen 5: j hoff (pets) formerly known as jarrett hoff ii, j was exposed to the rumblings of stardom as soon as he was created in the lab. nepotism and a lack of individual identity have quickly led j down a rocky path during his teen years, as he tried to differentiate himself from his father through excessive exercise and plastic surgery. rejecting his former lifestyle and cutting ties with his father, j now lives in the rural areas of appaloosa plains as a technophobe anti-celebrity with a dream to become a jockey. [gen still ongoing]

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

My Professor

Natasha Romanoff X f!reader

a/n: I have been wanting to write about Nat for awhile now and I figured it was about time so welcome to my new fic My Professor! I hope you enjoy, this will be a multi-part fanfiction. Let me know what you think and what you'd like to see happen! Happy reading! Also I'm starting a Nat/Scarlett taglist. LMK If you want to be added!

Warnings: alcohol consumption, fluff, kissing, implied super light smut -- more to come in later parts.

Word Count: 1872

Concept: You move to California to attend your dream school and decide to try and make friends. On your first night out you met someone who you definitely want to be more than a friend, little did you know she's someone who will come to be a much bigger part of your life.

Part 1 of ?

Being denied from Stanford University was one of the shittiest awakenings you had. With it being your dream school, getting the denial letter in the mail sucked. After having the realization that maybe you just weren’t working hard enough, you decided to attend your safety school, work your ass off in the first year and reapply for the following fall. After practically having no social life and buckling down on your studies, you were accepted into Stanford University. You got to move across the country to California and attend your dream school. The nerves were setting in quickly as you got the keys to your first apartment in California. After having practically no friends at your old school, you knew that meeting people and letting loose a little while you’re here would probably be a good idea. It’s been a year since you had actively sought out friendships or even a relationship so naturally, you were a bit rusty, nothing a little liquid courage couldn’t fix. You were about a twenty-five-minute drive from the university because housing was cheaper the further you got but you had a pub close by only about a minute walk down the street. Given the fact that classes start tomorrow, you decided to only have one drink, maybe two. You sat at the bar hoping that you’d bump into someone, anyone really that looked like they were close in age to you. If you’re lucky maybe even someone that goes to your school or lives around the area. After about an hour and a half of sitting at the bar and only talking to the bartender, you felt it was time to leave. It makes sense that you were nervous approaching new people, you almost needed someone to come up to you and just introduce themselves. As you finished down the rest of your drink you grab your bag and phone to head out.

“Leaving so soon?” A voice says from behind you.

You turn your head to see a red-headed woman standing in front of you– fuck she’s gorgeous. She looked pretty young, she was wearing a black leather jacket and had a smile like she was up to no good.

“Uh–” is all you managed to get out as your eyes felt a lot wider than they must have been as you stared into her eyes. “I just um– it’s getting late.”

She tilts her watch up, “it’s only 9:30” she says with one eyebrow raised. “Let me buy you one more drink.”

“Oh, that’s really nice of you but I really shouldn’t. I have to get some rest and–”

“C’mon, just one drink.” Fuck it.

“Okay, one drink.”

The redhead orders a whiskey for herself and another of whatever you were having. You sat there nervously as she looked at you, practically undressing you with her eyes. You felt like she wanted to make a move but honestly, you were almost too drunk to tell at this point.

“So, you’re new around here, passing through or here to stay?” She asks.

“Stay. I just moved into an apartment down the street.”

“Ah, I see, well, welcome. Did you come from out of state?”

“Yes actually, all the way from New York, it’s much warmer here.” You say.

She looks at you and lets out a small chuckle.

“You’re cute you know that?”

You felt your cheeks flood with blush as she continues to look you up and down. She had this mysterious persona to her. While she may have looked soft with a warm smile she also seemed like there was another side to her, something much more dominant.

You gave her a smile for the compliment, “I’m y/n, by the way.”

“Natasha.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

The two of you talked for about an hour where you got to know each other pretty well, or well, she more so got to know you. You didn’t realize it because of how drunk you were at the time but almost all the topics of discussion revolved around you and your life. Your family, friends, hobbies, etc. It might have been because of the drinks in your system but you felt incredibly close to Natasha like you could tell her anything. That alongside the fact that you were falling so hard for her. The way she smiled, how her laugh sounded, how her hair fell perfectly and effortlessly. Everything about her had you falling in love.

“So, Natasha, what do I have to do to get you to come home with me?”

Natasha looked at you, not surprised in the slightest.

“Well y/n, I think that you definitely need someone to walk you home at least. So—“

“Great, let's go!” You say as you jump off the barstool.

Natasha follows you out of the pub and holds your arm in hers as you walk down the street as she’s worried you’ll stumble and fall over.

She walks you right up to your door as you struggle to unlock it with your keys.

“Okay, will you be good to get into your bed?” She asks.

“No… I think I need you to and come tuck me in.” You say with a fake pouty face.

Nat lets out a chuckle under her breath, “okay silly, let’s get you into bed.”

Somehow Natasha was much more sober than you, even though she drank practically the same amount.

The two of you walked through your apartment as you led her towards your bedroom. You started undressing down to your lingerie in front of her.

“Oh– Um– hey y/n, where do you keep your pj’s?”

“Why? Do you want to stay the night?” You ask with a slight slur in your speech.

“Aha, no, I just want to find them for you–”

“Aweee what do you mean no? C’mon. Please won’t you stay the night?” You interrupt her as you pop your bottom lip and put on the puppy dog eyes. “Top left drawer.”

Natasha heads over to your dresser and pulls out a baggy t-shirt for you to throw on. You unclasp your bra and let it fall to the ground as she brings your shirt over to you.

Although you were drunk you could see her clearly looking at you, studying every inch of your bare body but still trying not to be too obvious about it.

“Here, lift your arms.” She says as she holds up the T-shirt in front of you.

You do as she says and as she pulls the shirt down over your head you wrap your arms around her waist and fall backwards onto your bed with her falling on top of you.

She couldn’t help but laugh as her body laid on top of yours. As her laughing stopped the two of you locked eyes and all you wanted her to do was press her lips against yours, you could swear she was thinking the same thing but she wasn’t moving. You decided to tighten your grip slightly and flip her over so she’s underneath you and you’re on top. Nat looked slightly surprised that you did that, especially the part where you had to move that quickly. You slowly inched your face closer and closer towards hers and eventually, she closed her eyes and pushed her head forward to the point where her lips perfectly met yours. You pushed down a little, allowing her head to rest against your duvet. Your hands started wandering around, reaching for her neck and scooping your hand behind the lower part of her head, running your fingers through her hair as she continued to crash her lips into yours. Your one hand reached for her jacket in an attempt to start pulling it off when she grabbed your wrist and stopped you.

“y/n…we really shouldn’t.”

“How come?” You say with a frown.

“You’re drunk.”

“And? I still want this.”

“I know, and trust me I do too. But…I’d rather be able to take you on a proper date, maybe one where we both don’t drink so much and then maybe we can pick up where we left off?”

“Okay…fine. But, can you please stay the night…”

Natasha looks at you and furrows her eyebrows in an adorable way.

“Fine but only because I am feeling incredibly tired right now.”

“Yayyyy! How about we get you into something more comfortable?” You say throwing a pair of sleep shorts at her and another baggy tshirt of yours.

Natasha takes the clothing and heads to your bathroom, making sure to leave the door slightly cracked. She knew that you’d be looking at her change, you didn’t see anything too revealing, just her back but she had planned it that way.

When she came back out into the bedroom and got in bed with you she wrapped her arms around you with your head buried in her chest in the most comforting way possible. This stranger you met at the bar only a few hours ago is now in your bed and oh god are you ever falling in love with her. The way she holds you, how you can smell her perfume as you lay tightly against her body. She lays small kisses on your forehead as you fall asleep and have what is one of the best sleeps of your life.

The next morning the sun is shining brightly through your window, birds chirping, you roll over on your side to notice the other half of the bed empty. No Natasha.

You quickly sit up, immediately feeling the excessive drinks from the night before taking their toll as you see the clothes you let her borrow on the side table with a note alongside it.

“I had a lot of fun last night but unfortunately had to run, early morning work call but I’m looking forward to our date. Xoxo - Nat” With her phone number written at the bottom. A smile came across your face when all of a sudden you checked the time. 9:45am. SHIT! You have class at 10 and it's at least a 20-minute drive to campus. With an insane amount of speed you grab your stuff, throw on a quick outfit and run out the door. By the time you got to your class, it was 10:07, the class had already started and of course, it was a small class of 10 so you walking in was going to be extremely noticeable. You try to open the door as quietly as possible as the professor had her back to it as she was facing the whiteboard at the front of the class.

“Ah Ms. Y/L/N, nice of you to finally join us, we were waiting on you.” She says as she then slowly turns around towards the end of her sentence. The two of you lock eyes.

Natasha?

She tries to remain as calm as possible but you were having a much harder time doing so. On one hand, you were hungover, probably still a little drunk and fuck did she look good in a pantsuit. On the other hand, holy shit Nat is your professor? You’re falling in love with your professor. Shit.

[fallatyourfeet]

No Burden - (Ned Stark x Pregnant Reader)

Just some pregnancy fluff with my man Ned.

As requested by @nymphessa

My favourite Ned Ho @a-libra-writes also request a Ned fic, so this is for you too 💕 Check out her Salt and Snow multi chapter fic (Ned x Reader) IT'S AMAZING.

A/N: This is the first time I've written since I finished 'A Northern Light' and the first imagine/one shot I've probably written in over a year. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Brief mentions of death and miscarriage (before the fluff comes)

Word count: 1450

If you enjoyed this, please feel free to visit my blog and take a look around. You will find my masterlist in my Bio.

Any feedback, comments, reblogs, asks or messages are very welcome and appreciated. I would love to know what you think of my little stories.

It was fair to say your marriage to Ned did not come without heartache. Not just on your behalf, but his too. Both of you were still quietly mourning the loss of your respective spouses, when the suggestion of a possible betrothal between the two of you was suggested quite eagerly amongst the lords of the north.

Grief set aside, you could see the political sense in it. You were the eldest daughter of House Bracken, a small but beloved vassal to House Tully, and not so long ago you were married off to the north. Castle Hornwood became your new home. And although it was a small house, it was fiercely and forever loyal to House Stark and in return, regarded highly by Eddard Stark. And so, it made sense. Marry off the newly widowed Lady Hornwood, born and bred in the Riverlands, to their much beloved liege lord. It held both sentiment and most importantly, practicality, hopefully keeping the powerful Tully’s as allies to the vast north. Maybe even more importantly, was the proof of your fertility.

While it was true, that Eddard Stark had already fathered five children with his dearly departed wife, plus one bonus bastard, Westerosi customs would always silently demand more. And maybe considering the fact the he already had three trueborn male heirs, it wouldn’t seem like such a slap in the face to the larger houses across Westeros, if the Warden of the North married a highborn from much less lustrous stock. Regardless, the greater number of heirs produced the better. And your brief and rather upsetting encounter with motherhood, was proof enough of your worth.

Just six weeks after you exchanged your marital vows under Castle Hornwood’s sacred heart tree, you realised your moonblood was well overdue. And after a brief visit by the castle’s maester, he confirmed what you already knew. Your sweet husband, that you barely knew, but already loved, was overjoyed and his joy fuelled yours. Until, just two months later when your happy new life came crashing down. A fatal fall from a horse took his life, the stress and grief of the tragedy taking with it the life of your unborn child.

Your devastation and heartbreak was still raw and bleeding when the northern lords began to scheme. With a Hornwood heir no longer growing in your belly, you were a good choice for their liege, and the title for Lord Hornwood could be simply passed down to the closest living male. That was the reality for a highborn woman in Westeros. You were born, you married, you bred and you died. If you were lucky, the man chosen to be your husband would be good and kind to you. And if you were truly fortunate, love would bless the union.

And so, never in your wildest dreams did you believe or expect to be blessed by the love of not one, but two wonderful men.

You had only met Eddard a handful of times before you stood before him, exchanging vows. A few times when you were still an unmarried maiden, and only once more, when you accompanied your husband to Winterfell to pay respects when Lady Catelyn passed. It was an awful time, his grief laid heavy on his features, undeniable proof of the love he lost from the moment she died. And maybe that’s why he treated you with such respect and sweet endless patience from the moment you arrived at Winterfell. Maybe he recognised the same grief weighing down upon your features, maybe his own grief was still too raw and too real, or maybe it was because he was just a thoroughly good and decent man.

Whatever the reason, you were grateful, and slowly your heart began to breathe. As did his. Bringing with it a trickle of genuine and unforced affection, that soon flooded and engulfed your damaged hearts. Not erasing the hurt and grief, but simply healing it.

It was easy to see by anyone who bothered to observe him, that Eddard quickly grew to adore you, paying you quiet attention without even realising. The way his body angled towards you when you walked in the room, the way his ears hung closely to every word you spoke, and eventually, the way his features fought a smile when he caught your interactions with his children... so sweet and maternal. And the fact that they had come to adore you, was just a cherry on top. Even Jon, never had he seen the dear boy so included, nor so content.

Before long, neither of you could ignore or deny the love that bubbled its way to the surface of your respective hearts, all without even trying.

And now, the proof of that love moved strong and restless under your fingertips.

You stood at the window of Ned’s study, watching the last light of day fade from the sky, allowing the flames of the cosy hearth to ripple across the darkening room. And off in the distance your ears caught the sound of music, reminding you there was a hall full of people impatient to begin the feast. You really couldn’t be bothered, but it was an important event on the annual northern calendar.

Waiting for your husband’s return you ran your hands across the huge expanse of your belly, and sighed. You were not upset or frustrated, just tired, sore and impatient. Rubbing your side, you groaned a little too loudly, almost disguising the sound Ned made when he entered the room... almost. Half turning, you gave him a smile, but must have looked exhausted, because his expression softened with endearing sympathy as he moved his way behind you. Taking you in his arms, his hands came to rest around your belly. “Not long to go now, my love.”

With a deep breath, you rested your head back against his, and hummed a response, your hands rubbing the bottom of your stomach. “Hmmmm... I know. I just wish he would hurry up, he’s so heavy. There’s no more room in there.” As if to prove your words the child seemed to struggle moving, little hands and feet trying to poke through the surface at Ned’s palms.

Rubbing soothing circles over all the activity going on inside your belly, he chuckled. It was such a warm sound, and even though this pregnancy... this child, was far from his first, it was a sound filled with wonder and awe, spilling over with unspoken pride. Leaning his chin on your shoulder, he nestled his head into the crook of your neck, gently taking your wrists to place them at your side. Following the curve of your belly, his strong tender hands came to a stop underneath, his fingers joining as his palms cradled the ever growing bump. With the gentlest pressure, he lifted and supported the entire weight of the precious cargo inside, instantly alleviating the constant ache radiating around your entire middle and back. Tilting his lips towards your ear, his voice came low and quiet, “What makes you so sure we're having a boy?”

You sighed another sigh, but this time it was one of physical relief and contentment, your whole body leaning and moulding into his chest. Humming again, you smiled to yourself and rested your head against his shoulder, “I’m not sure, I just think of a little boy every time I look at this giant belly.”

Ned couldn’t help but chuckle, his hands still cradling your tummy, and you were sure that he could feel your gratitude rolling off you in waves. Whispering again, his lips brushed against your ear, “I love this giant belly... it’s beautiful.”

Your heart melted with the sincerity of his words. Running your fingertips gently over his knuckles, your voice was only half joking, “Can you never move your hands... just leave them here and follow me everywhere I go.”

Kissing the nape of your neck, he murmured, “It would be no burden, my love.” Carefully releasing your bump, he moved his body around you, stopping when he met your gaze, unable to keep his lips from yours. Humour touched his gentle grey eyes, “Though it may be considered a strange way to escort you to the feast.” Resting a palm to your cheek, Ned smiled softly, his eyes sympathising with your tired expression, “You won’t need to stay long... they will understand.” Reaching down, he wrapped his arm around yours, softly squeezing your hand, guiding you towards the door, “Come on, love, the sooner we arrive, the sooner you can leave.” Then tilting his head to face you, he almost winked, “And if you like... I will carry you to bed myself.”

[thescarletfang]

Maybe? Yes.

This is just pure, soft FLUFF. This takes place in the Downward Facing Din universe, but much earlier than that little drabble. IDK, am I slowly creating a little universe? Maybe? I’m too scared to commit to a multi-chapter fic, so this is where we are. Also, this story and this little world I’m trying to create will definitely be a *cue kacey musgraves voice* slow buuuuurrrrnnnnnn.

Summary: Trust begins to bloom between you and your new employer - a stoic, polite Mandalorian with a tiny green son. Din DjarinxF!Reader

Post TBOBF but in this world the Razor Crest lives!!

Wordcount: ~3k

Warnings: NONE, though all of my work is 18+ and minors should go bye-bye.

* * * 

He doesn’t speak to you the entire first week that you’re on the Razor Crest.

You wrack your brain, desperately trying to think if you could’ve possibly offended him. You’re ashamed to admit that you’re woefully ignorant in the way of the Mandalorian, but you recall Karga briefing you about a creed. You struggle to remember the details - in truth, your brain was buzzing with excitement and fear, and you’d barely sat still the entire time Karga tried to explain this Mandalorian stranger to you. 

You know the basics: he rarely takes off his helmet - as far as you know, he never does, but you remember Karga saying he’d taken it off for the child - Grogu. You can recall Karga explaining the Mandalorian is part of a clan of two, that he is no longer recognized as a member of his previous clan, and that the cold material of his armor is called beskar. 

But other than that?

You do not know your new employer.

You think maybe he’s giving you space and you decide you haven’t offended him. He doesn’t ignore you - he just, kind of…keeps to himself? He will nod at you in the morning, and he did show you where his medpack is kept and he gave you a little spiel about the kid and what he likes to eat - but that’s it. 

You do not know this Mando, but you’re determined to do right by him. You remind yourself that if he hadn’t wanted you to come along, he would’ve told Karga as much. But according to Marshal Dune and Karga, this Mandalorian - Mando - is basically a single father and in desperate need of an extra set of hands. And since your hands happen to be ones that are excellent at healing and also shooting a blaster, they’d volunteered you for the job.

Honestly? It’s a decent gig, though you’re just a week in. The main appeal being that you’re able to finally get the hell off of Nevarro.  As a person with not much money or connections or - well, anyone really - you just figured your entire life would be spent healing on Nevarro. But this opportunity? This provides some sort of adventure. Some sort of path that you otherwise never thought you’d be able to take. 

It’s alluring. It’s exciting. It’s a little scary.

Which is exactly why you had jumped at the chance. 

It also doesn’t hurt that Grogu is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life. You were a goner the second Karga introduced you to Mando and his tiny green son. With his giant, black orbs for eyes and tiny little mouth and grabby hands and those ears - Maker! You never really saw the appeal of having children - logistically, it just didn’t make sense, just another mouth to feed - but Grogu?

Yeah, you can see why people have kids now. 

So taking care of this tiny green baby while Mando goes to secure bounties as well as being on deck for any injuries that may occur? It’s not a bad deal. You’ve agreed to a full standard cycle in Mando’s employment. 368 days of planet hopping and seeing places you never thought you’d see. And after that? Who knows. You hoped to have enough credits to maybe open your own practice on a quiet little planet somewhere far from trouble. Live out the rest of your days healing and getting by, quietly. 

That sounded like a good dream. An attainable dream. A little lonely, yes, but being alone is nothing new to you. You can do lonely. You have never expected anything else. 

You’re alone in the cosmos but you’re free and you’re making your own way and you think, maybe, that will just have to be enough. 

* * * 

The market is bustling and you’re grateful. In the month you’ve been with Mando and Grogu, you’ve grown to love the Razor Crest. Traveling on the old spaceship has its wonders’ - you feel like a true vagabond and it’s quite exciting. But it’s always nice to stretch your legs and breathe fresh air that’s mingled with sweet spices and sizzling street food, and you realize you needed this.

You follow behind Mando, walking with Grogu secured to your chest in his carrying pouch, and absentmindedly hold his little fingers as you take in everything around you. You know your eyes are probably as huge as saucers, but you can’t help it. This market place is much bigger than any that existed on Nevarro and you’re smelling and seeing and hearing things that are all new new new and it’s wonderful. 

Mando had announced the pit-stop to replenish ship supplies, which you know is necessary. You’ve already re-filled your medpack with bacta spray and patches and suture threads  and everything you could need.  But as you pass a stall with an assortment of exotic vegetables, you pause. An idea has been brewing in your mind since Mando said you’d be coming to this market place, and you reach into your pants pocket, fingering the small satchel of credits. 

You know how to be thrifty. You know you don’t need to spend credits on food - there are plenty of ration bars on the ship - but if you’re being honest? You can’t take another meal like that. You know it’s superfluous, but you miss cooking. You miss preparing a meal, the feel of the vegetables beneath your fingertips as you slice, the smell of the spices wafting into your nostrils and the satisfaction from eating something you created. 

So, you pause at the stand. In your periphery, you see Mando immediately notice that you’re no longer walking. Nothing gets past him and it should scare you a little (maybe it does) but he has started talking to you a little more in the month you’ve been with him. He’s intimidating, of course, and stoic and big, but he’s very polite, this Mandalorian man. He gives you privacy and never makes you feel uncomfortable and there’s a base level of trust. You see the way he cares for Grogu, you see his love for his son. And that creates trust in you. 

Mando says your name, and it’s got the hint of a question. You glance at him and he’s stopped, his helmet facing you, waiting for an explanation. 

You swallow. Okay, he can still be terrifying as hell, quite honestly.

“I thought – I thought I could get some things and cook for us tonight,” you say, grateful your voice is steady but cursing how timid it sounds. You don’t want to offend him which is absurd since you’re offering to literally prepare the man supper, but you don’t know so much about him. You’re still careful. You have to be. 

Mando is silent. Of course he is. Grogu makes a little gurgling noise and reaches for a bright purple, prickly looking vegetable and you take a step back so he doesn’t snatch it without paying for it. 

Mando’s silence makes you panic. Shit. Maybe it’s against his culture to have someone cook for him? You don’t know and that’s what is causing you to feel like an idiot and you can feel an anxiety spiral coming in –

But then Mando nods. It’s just one nod, barely a motion at all, but you see it. He nods at you and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. 

You turn back to the vendor and you ignore the feel of Mando’s stare on the back of your head as you pick out a vibrant assortment of different vegetables native to the planet you’re currently on. Grogu certainly seems excited as you let him hold a long, orange root vegetable and he waves it around like a little vibroblade. 

When your credit pouch is noticeably lighter and your carrying sack is much heavier - filled to the brim - you turn back to Mando who has just been…standing there. Staring. This entire time. 

Maker, this man. If it was anyone else you’d be creeped out but you’ve been living with him for a month and you’re aware that this is just how he is. You trust Marshal Dune and Karga’s judgement - they wouldn’t have sent you with someone who would hurt you. 

Right?

You fall in step beside him. You try to keep up with his long strides, but now that you’re carrying your vegetable bounty along with Grogu, you’re a little slowed down. Mando notices - because of course he does - and you feel your face heat. 

But he doesn’t snap at you, only takes hold of your vegetable bounty, gently pulling it out of your hands and slinging it over his shoulder. You sputter.

“Oh - you don’t have to–”

He grunts and you purse your lips. You need a Mando-noise translator. Grogu coos and holds onto your finger. Mando’s helmet tilts toward the noise, like it’s instinctual, and you think he’s watching his son play with your fingers, but you can’t be sure.

He doesn’t look at you when he says, “I need to refill my blaster power packs. The shop is on the other side of the market - are you - are you okay if I leave and go there?”

You try to keep your eyes from widening but since he’s not looking at you it doesn’t matter. Is he really asking your permission? But then you realize no - he’s not. He’s just making sure you’re okay to be left alone in an unfamiliar market. You feel gratitude bubble in your chest. 

You’re safe. You’re safe with this man and his son. It’s okay.

You nod. “Yeah, of course!” Then, a thought. “I actually wanted to grab some spices anyway. For our meal. So–so, I can do that, while you go refill your power packs.”

You’re talking too much. Right? You must be. Mando tilts his helmet at you and doesn’t say anything but just nods. You think that’s it - and you prepare for him to leave but he reaches out a hand to Grogu and tilts his little green chin up. Grogu squeals happily.

“Mind your manners,” he tells the tot, affectionately rubbing his thumb against Grogu’s cheek and Grogu smiles all toothily. It’s horrifically cute. You can’t help your smile. 

Mando’s helmet tilts back up to you but you can’t know if he’s actually looking at you or not - you think he is? He clears his throat, the raspy sound coming through his modulator and then he turns, a hulking presence parting the seas of bodies, turning heads in his wake. 

You look down at Grogu, jiggling him a little. “Wanna help me pick out spices?”

“Patu!!” Grogu squeaks and you laugh. 

* * * 

The suns of this planet are hot and the back of your neck is surely getting burnt, but you can’t find it in you to care. You’re bent over the most beautiful selection of spices you’ve ever seen. This market puts Nevarro’s measly little assortment of stalls to shame. 

You know you’re a prime target for upselling - the stall’s vendor has already tried to sell you the most expensive spices three times - but you hold your ground. You purchase only what you need for tonight’s vegetable stew, and happily hand over the credits. You smirk a little to yourself as the vendor purses their lips, clearly annoyed they didn’t manage to finagle more out of you. 

Grogu might like the spices more than you. His little nostrils flare rapidly, his eyes wider than you’ve ever seen them as you let him hold the roughspun sack which holds your spices. You move away from the stall and crane your neck to peek around the crowds. No Mandalorian as far as you can see. The sun is starting to shift, heading toward its descent, and the crowds of shoppers have thinned a bit. 

You spot a sweets stall and look down at Grogu. He shoots you a look that seems to say, Lady, you know you want to. You roll your eyes and pat the top of his head. 

“Alright, alright. Just don’t tell your dad, okay?” Grogu squeals, waving his arms around excitedly as you walk over to the stall, ordering three little blue cookie-looking things. 

Before you can even finish paying for them, Grogu reaches his hands out and his eyes narrow and suddenly the cookies fly out of the vendor’s hands and into Grogu’s. He immediately bites into the treat, obviously pleased with himself. You smile apologetically at the vendor who is looking a little too curiously at Grogu.

“Thank you,” you quickly say, shoving the credits into his hand and moving away from the stall. You frown down at Grogu. “I feel like that wasn’t very smart, kid.”

He just babbles happily, munching on his snack. You meander over to a little bench, your back suddenly aching and your feet sore. The sun and the heat have you feeling a little tired. You look around but you still don’t see Mando anywhere at the moment. You close your eyes, head leaning back a little to feel the sun’s rays stretch over your face, warming you from the inside. Grogu’s breathing is steady, his little fingers still hooked into your own, and you smile, a feeling of peace coming over you.

When you open your eyes again and Mando is standing right in front of you, you nearly scream. 

“Maker!” you gasp, and Mando’s shoulders tense. “You–how–you’re so quiet!”

If a beskar helmet could look abashed, you think that’s what Mando would look like right now. 

“I didn’t want to disturb you,” he offers as you stand up, your heart beating rapidly. “You looked at peace.”

You try to school your features into a look that is casual, but honestly you’re taken aback by Mando’s statement. Then you notice the bedroll he’s holding by a strap and frown.  He notices your eyeline and shifts on his feet as if he’s…nervous?

He clears his throat. Holds out the bedroll. 

“Uh–this is for you,” he says and he sounds unsure of himself, unsure of how you’re going to react. “I noticed the one you sleep on is…rough.”

Well now you simply can’t help the way you gape at Mando. It’s so much to process. First, he noticed the state of your old bedroll (something you didn’t even give a second thought since it’s the one you’ve slept on forever, even back in your run-down room on Nevarro) and secondly, he replaced it for you. 

You immediately scramble to get your pouch of credits but Mando grunts, waving your outstretched hand away. He continues to hold out the bedroll and you take it. 

“Let me pay you back–” you say and he shakes his helmeted head. 

“You’re good with the kid. I–he’s happy you’re here.” It’s all he offers to you and your chest burns with gratitude. You feel your entire face light up, your smile reaching your ears and for a moment you’re horrified that you’re going to start crying and that would just be mortifying–

Grogu gurgles and it grounds you. You swallow, gripping the bedroll in your hand delicately but tightly, as if it’s a rare treasure. In a way? It is.

“Thank you,” you tell him. You mean it. 

Thank you for being kind. Thank you for taking me across the universe. Thank you for giving me this adventure.

He nods, silent and stoic as ever, but you notice a lightness in his shoulders that wasn’t there before as you make your way back to the ship. 

* * * 

Mando makes a fire outside where he’s docked the Razor Crest in a clearing far-off from town, in a wooded area that’s both isolated but comforting. He takes Grogu without question, walking with him into the ship to replenish the stock of supplies he’d gathered in town and you set about preparing your meal.

At first it’s a challenge to find a pot to place over the fire but after you manage to scrounge one out of the small, hardly-a-galley galley, you find your groove. Maker, you’ve missed this! It’s meditative, cooking over an open fire, the sunset casting pink and purple hues all around you, the glow of the dying suns warming you enough to keep the light breeze of night at bay.

You realize as you let the simple stew simmer that you’re happy. The realization comes at you quickly and you’re a little taken aback by it. You are not one for sentiment when it comes to your own life. You have never taken a moment in all of your years to even think about whether you were happy or not. Happiness was a luxury for those who could afford it - those of higher status, those who didn’t have to worry where their next meal would come from or those raised in families full of care and love.

You’ve been alone your entire life. You’ve never needed to ask yourself whether you were happy or not. It simply didn’t matter.

But as you hand Mando a bowl of stew, your hand brushing his own gloved one as he takes it from you with a quiet mutter of thanks, you think, okay - maybe.

As you sit Grogu on your lap, feeding him spoonfuls of the stew with the orchestra of crackling fire and buzzing insects in the background, the moonlight bright, you think - maybe. 

As you glance up at the Mandalorian who sits across from you, watching as he lifts his helmet just slightly up in order to take sips of stew, the shock of seeing his stubble and sharp jaw striking you directly in the chest, the fact that he’s even sitting out here with you and didn’t take his meal in the ship, that he trusts you enough to lift up his helmet (not remove it no, that’s a privilege you know you may never earn and that’s okay), but to still lift that beautiful helmet up and share a meal with you? As his son snuggles against your chest and you find fear has no place in your heart at this moment?

You think, yes. 

Yes, you are happy.

[falling-pages]

Bend the Knee: Kyoya x Reader

Thanks @ouranbound for the idea <3

-

“I fear I’ve been so busy planning our future that I did not give time to notice how they were exploiting your present."

-

Sometimes Kyoya's betrothed needs help adjusting from their commoner life to one of splendor.

-

Kyoya Ootori x gn! Reader

Genre: Fluff, established relationship, arranged marriage, Commoner! Reader

Warnings: None

-

“Quit.”

“What?”

“Quit. You complain about that job every night, so just resign.”

You sit up on the couch, gasping to even begin to make the young heir understand how preposterous his words were. He barely even noticed, just kept his eyes glued to his novel as you were having a crisis. Just another normal Tuesday in this household. “I can’t quit just like that, without two weeks’ notice.”

“The other employees did.”

“But I’m their best,” you scramble, “I can’t bail while they’re still looking for two more people.”

Kyoya scoffed, licking his fingertip and turning a page. “Is that how they treat their best? Overworked and underpaid? They don’t sound like very good bosses to me.”

“It’s not that, it’s…”

It was that. It was exactly that, which made his smug smile all the more frustrating, igniting that fire under your nails to just punch his lights out. But then you’d have to admit it’s bothering you, and he would win, and even though you were engaged to marry this man, you just couldn’t have that.

You ran your hands through your hair, dropping back down onto the couch. His office futon wasn’t comfortable in the slightest, perhaps to discourage relaxation during work hours, but it’s what you dealt with in order to spend time with him in the evenings, a change you would certainly implement once your name was on the deed and in the will--a revamp of his working space was imperative.

But you supposed you couldn’t complain. It was your little life together, where he manages a multi-billion dollar empire and you whine about your job, where he pretends to not pay attention while you spill your guts. What was the sense in commenting when he knew you wouldn’t take his advice?

“I’ve worked hard for this position,” you settle on, closing your eyes and letting your brain do the work. “I’ve climbed the ladder and gotten promotions and I used to feel so important, and it isn’t my dream job, sure, but I’ve enjoyed the process.”

“Then it’s time to move on to something different,” he suggests, and his tone is softer than usual, though still careful to sound detached. “You know I have more than enough money to provide for you and our family someday. Is that not enough?”

You open your eyes when the voice sounds closer, right above you, and you see him kneeling down beside you on the couch. You start to sit up, but he pushes you back down, helping you stretch out your spine, shake out the stresses in your limbs. And when he takes your hand, drawing his long fingers over the arch of your wrist and against your palm, you were startled to see him at eye-level.

Kyoya Ootori bent his knee to no one except you, and only once, when he slipped that pretty gold ring on your finger. But here where you lay, your faces were on the same level, and you felt like an equal.

“The world I come from isn’t black and white, Kyoya,” you say, as he strokes the back of your knuckles. Such tenderness was seldom seen from him, but you revel in it, grasp onto it with dirty fists and brazen recklessness. To have him so attentive to your needs and listening to you was rare. It was a privilege, a standard you would soon be held to, as well. “To be just...launched into fame because my dad won the lottery is hard, I still need to adjust. It can all be gone in a second, so I can’t just drop something. I can’t...sever the safety net. They need me to keep the place afloat, and even as tough as it has been, I can’t leave on such bad terms. They need me. Just for a little bit longer.”

He sighs your name like the afterthought of a prayer, settling his other hand beside you on the couch. His fingers dig into every indentation, as if joining your discovery of its stiff cushions. The sheen in his glasses signaled he’d look into it, but there were more pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

He remained silent, odd for a man with all the answers, but he continued to look at you, not like he was trying to drill a hole through your head, but like you were a puzzle he was just beginning to figure out.

“Have I really been so absent, my love?” he whispered, raising his hand to your face. One finger stroked along your cheek, slowly, lulling you into peace. “I fear I’ve been so busy planning our future that I did not give time to notice how they were exploiting your present. Please, forgive me.”

All of the air was knocked out of your chest as his gentle words, so soft that you almost didn’t recognize him. When your parents betrothed you, and when you fell in love with him, agreed to marry him, even, you knew that he would always be an Ootori, with every string attached. You were ready for the challenge, ready to be with this man no matter what--but his sudden kindness was unexpected, the poetic words unfamiliar in your ears.

“Kyo, you think I wouldn’t forgive you?” you ask, taking off his glasses.

He let you, and when you set them on the nearby stand, his dark eyes glittered with something you had never seen before. Deeper than love, deeper than compassion, a feral protectiveness mixed with sadness skating across his face. It was so rare you saw him without this shield of his, you had almost forgotten how his eyes were like galaxies, like the murky night sky, expansive, swallowing everything in its path.

“If I had been suffering so, I wouldn’t forgive my partner had they not noticed,” he said.

“I’m not suffering...”

“Mmm-mm.” He shuttered your lips closed with his finger, and you couldn’t help but return the affection and press a kiss to it. He smiled, softly, and you thought about how long it had been since you had seen that smile, and how long it had been since he’s seen yours, too.

“I know I’m not the best at expressing my feelings,” he said, and when you snorted, he rolled his eyes and leaned away. “See, this is exactly why.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, giggling. The feeling was foreign in the pit of your chest, drumming near your spine. “I’m sorry. Please, continue.”

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat, softly wiping where you had kissed him, a repetitive, soothing motion. “I’m not the best at expressing my feelings. I’ve been raised to think that if you throw money at something, it will go away. It’s a powerful position to hold, knowing you can change everyone’s fates on a whim, but…” he swallowed, breaking eye contact, and you felt his energy shift into something vulnerable. “But you changed that. You make me feel...you make me feel. And at first I didn’t like it. I loved you, but I didn’t like what you did to me. I didn’t like how you made my world shift off-balance, until I realized my world was no longer my family’s company or stocks or what other stiffs thought of me. It was you.”

You tried to lean up and kiss him, but he grabbed your hands and held them in his own. “Please, let me finish, I want...I want you to know. We’ve been betrothed for so long, but I’d like to think we were only truly engaged when I bowed to you with that ring.”

“Okay,” you breathed, shallowly, taking it in, squeezing his hands to help him along.

“Because that took everything in me,” he continued, and his voice shook, his hands shook, and all you wanted was to gather him in your arms and hold him till he relaxed. “I was raised as a superior, but I’m not. Not with you. You are my equal, and I love you, and there’s no future with us if I can’t look beyond my own problems to see yours.”

Your stomach quelled in light of his confession. The life of luxury and fame you had so recently come to know was a blur compared to his childhood swathed in privilege. Only six years ago you were waiting tables to save up for college when your dad bought a lottery ticket for the hell of it. Now you were attending charity balls and engaged to the son of the richest man on earth.

He took a shaky breath and kissed your forehead, seeming to only find the courage once his lips met your skin.

“I notice. I swear I do,” he said. “I tried to act disinterested when you vent to me because it was a protection, it was a way to stay cold, because that was all I ever saw from my mother and father. They were separate people who happened to live in the same house. That’s not us. I’m not my father. I swear I notice. I notice your tired eyes and your tense shoulders and your fake smile and I want to fix it, but I don’t know how, so I clam up. I shut down. And I’m sorry. I truly am, my darling. I don’t know how you put up with me.”

It was an absolute miracle that you could even breathe at the end of his speech, panting almost as heavily as he was. And when you leaned forward to kiss him, this time he didn’t object, but pulled you even closer, shrouding your body with his, his sharp scent overwhelming your senses, clouding the air around you, even when there was no distance between you. His mouth was hot with passion, yet reserved, and though it wasn’t the first time you kissed, it was the first time you thought he meant it when he told you he loved you.

“Kyoya, I love you,” you whisper against his lips. “I have for so long. I wouldn’t have stayed with you if I didn’t, no matter what our parents said.” He laughed, nipping your bottom lip lightly. “And I don’t want you to change for me. You’re under so much pressure, I understand why you act like you do. But our home isn’t Wall Street. My heart isn’t some business bargaining chip. You don’t need to fight your nature to love me. It’s one and the same.” One of his tears splashes down onto your face. “So just see me. Love me. Choose to be vulnerable. I promise it won’t scare me off.”

“I will. I promise.”

He kissed you again, burning his brand against your tongue, hard like a handshake to know he meant it. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, like you were breathing the same air, using the same lungs, the same heart beating in tandem.

When you let go, his forehead remained pressed against yours. His eyes were slightly open, watching you, eyelashes fluttering against your skin. He was so soft, like this. You wanted to hold him forever.

“Come to bed with me,” you whisper, trailing a hand through his hair. “I just want to spend time with you.”

He kissed your forehead, rubbing his nose against yours in compliance. “I’ll spend all the time in the world with you, beloved,” he sighed, capturing your lips once more. “For as long as you’ll have me.”

-

Kofi

[autumn-sweet-fae]

Rambling Family Headcanons for my AU

(FYI, Ive never seen anime Iris, so just doing my own thing based on my interpretation of the games and fanon family ideas) 

So I’m now that I’m aware that Iris is in fact Hop and Leon’s cousin, and that means she’s also a descendant of Professor Laventon!

And, because I love the idea of Iris being Draydens granddaughter, and the idea of Ingo and Emmet being Draydens nephews, this most likely means that Ingo and Emmet could have met Leon and Hop before. Which gives me a few ideas

First off, Ingo has been in Hisui for over two years at the time of Akari’s arrival and then just over three years at the time that the two return to Sinnoh. This means that at the time of his return Iris will be 15, and since the events of Sw/Sh will have already happed, let’s put Hop at 16 and Leon at 24. This puts Hop and Iris very close in age and Ingo and Emmet at 5 years older then Leon.

Now, I could see Leon and Hop family coming out to visit Iris side of the family so the boys can meet their new cousin. At this family reunion lil 9 year old Leon meets and then follows around his twin 14 year old cousins. The two have just finished their Pokémon journey and are delighted to tell him all about it. They defeated each gym and the elite four individually, and then faced off against the Unovan champion together! They lost that last battle, but they both declare it to be the best battle of their lives and are excited to share every detail of it. Emmet also tells him how amazing double and multi battles are and how he wants find a battling career in them, which Ingo fully supports. (During the visit they also battle each other a couple times to Leon’s delight, and then show him their model train collection.)

Leon gets so inspired by the twins during that visit that he insists on setting out on his Pokémon journey the moment he’s old enough! Which is how, not even a year later, he became Galar’s youngest champion at only 10 years old. His Unovan relatives are all very proud of him and Ingo & Emmet really want to battle their little cousin next time they see him.

Unfoutunatly, due to the duties of being a champion and wanting to support his family, Leon never gets the chance to return to Unova and battle his cousins. Meanwhile Ingo and Emmet are working to achieve their dreams at getting jobs at the battle subway.

Iris and Hop do get to see each other a few more times in their early childhood, usually when Iris’s family came to visit. Occasionally Leon even made it home in time to see his little cousin too. But then after Iris parents died(?idk I found NOTHING on them) when she was 7 she moved in with their Grandpa in Opelucid City, the Dragon Gym leader Drayden. Then at age 10 she had her own journey and defeated their grandfather in battle, inheriting his gym title.

Her cousins were very proud when they learned this and Hop just got even more impatient with his folks for insisting he wait a few more years before going off on his own Journey. (His family wanted him to enjoy his childhood fully since Leon couldn’t)

Then, two years later, at age 12 Iris became Champion of her region just as her eldest cousin did in his own. This fed Hops growing  inferiority complex, doubling the pressure not only to live up to his brother legacy, but also to do as well as his younger cousin too.

As for Leon, since the two are the first cousin champions, the media insist on a photo op of them. Not trusting Leon to not get lost traveling to Unova, Iris came out to Galar, getting to see her cousin for the first time in years. She’s taken to see Leon in Wyndon and they do the media thing and get some pictures taken. Leon wants them to head back and see the Hop and the family together, reconnect and all that, but then Chairmen Rose steps in and insist that Leon needs to come with him instead. Leon assures Rose he’s coming but still makes sure to walk Iris out to the car waiting for her so he can tell his cousin goodbye. Iris tells him that if he can ever escape to Unova, she and him could do the Multi Train challenge together, give their cousins a battle to remember. Leon laughs and assures her that they will, someday. (Iris then spends the weekend with Hop & fam and is completely enamored with his Wooloo and the calm countryside)

(Additionally, Iris adores her ‘uncles’ Ingo and Emmet, she would often mtake the subway challenges and they would all have a blast battling each other. They would try to keep a tally of wins and losses between them. Some times Iris would bring along Drayden or Elesa to battle with her on the Multi-line. It’s family bonding at its finest among trainers as serious about battling as them.)

It’s not even a year later that the news reaches Galar the one of Unova’s Subway Masters has vanished. Hop knows that he has some kind of family relation with the twins but was too young to remember them himself. Leon meanwhile is floored. Because while he had only known the two for under a week when he was 9, he never forgot how supportive they were with him. How they took his battle ideas seriously and were excited to share their hobbies with him. They’re journey had been a big part what inspired him to take his own pokemon journey so soon. And now Ingo has gone missing… He wants to reach out to Emmet but also has no idea what to say.

It’s two years into Ingo’s disappearance, Leon has passed his title as Champion onto Hops friend, Gloria, changed the Rose Tower into the Battle Tower, and declined the offer to become the new chairmen (LET THE GUY HAVE A BREAK). And most importantly, he’s been spending more time with his younger brother again. This mostly includes popping up unexpectedly at Sonia‘s lab to ask what new thing they’re studying, but he loves how exasperated Hop now gets with him. 

MEANWHILE

Ingo meets Laventon and gets the oddest feeling that he’s met him before but also not at all. It’s too vague to ever attach a clear thought to but it’s there.

Then, the first time Akari calls him ‘uncle Ingo’ he swears he heard it in another girls voice. He pauses, trying to think of the voice again, recall a face to go with it, but there’s nothing. Akari snaps him out of it, asking if he’s alright and if he’d prefer she not call him that. Ingo rushes to assure her it’s alright, and that he’s honored that she’d want to address him as such. He just almost remembered someone, that’s all. Akari understands and hopes that perhaps she’ll remind him more of this person if they were as close to him as she is.

[learnyouabiology]

Fun Fact: Some Animals Move (and sometimes fly) with Jet Propulsion

As a child, I pretty much always pictured jet propulsion as involving some sort of... fire. You know, like a rocket! Or like the speed boost in racing games! So when a professor mentioned in a lecture that squid can get around with “jet propulsion”, for a second, I pictured something like this:

To my amazement, this is absolutely, 100% how they do it!

No, no I’m kidding. April Fools and such, I swear that squid don’t use fire to power their jet propulsion! Not yet, anyways. I can dream.

Jet propulsion does not actually need to involve fire unfortunately. You can also achieve jet propulsion by sitting in a rolly chair and letting off a fire extinguisher, or by standing on a skateboard and holding a really strong fan, or blowing up a balloon, not tying off the end, and releasing it (on purpose or by accident).

Importantly, you can also achieve jet propulsion by being in water and shooting water behind you.

Basically, jet propulsion is moving forward by directing a jet of fluid in the opposite direction. Something-something, Newton’s Third Law, this isn’t a Physics Fun Fact. However, in nature, jet propulsion is exclusively* found in aquatic animals, because water is more readily available than fire, fire extinguishers, or big fans.

*there are almost always exceptions in nature, and I would be thrilled if someone found an exception to this. Especially if that exception uses fire. 

There’s a few different species which use jet propulsion, but perhaps the most famous are cephalopods, like octopuses and squids. They achieve jet propulsion by taking in water, holding it in their mantle, and then shooting it fast out of their siphon to get a burst of speed. They’re really good at this! One species, the flying squid famously uses this jet propulsion to fly more than 30 metres in 3 seconds.

I am a lover of bugs, and as such, my personal favourite example of an animal using jet propulsion is dragonfly nymphs. You may have recently seen a popular post confidently declaring the “dragonflies use their butts to go fast”, which is like... technically true? Kind of? But not while flying. See, before dragonflies can fly, they are “nymphs” which are basically wingless juveniles/ pre-adults that live in the water. These critters take a bunch of water in through their butt (the highly scientific word for “the ‘out’ door of their digestive tract”), and then expel it with such force that they shoot forwards! They often use this for escaping predators, since it’s faster than the usual methods of getting around. They also breath through their butt, because that’s where the gills are stored. It’s a multi-purpose orifice! The best kind of orifice there is.

There are lots of animals that use jet propulsion, and I could spend about 10000 words gushing about each of them, so instead I’ll try to summarise a few of my favourites in a picture:

kudos to Robertson et al. 2019 for making it look like the clam is farting, unironically a 10/10 decision, and also to Yalçınkaya et al. 2016 for one of my favourite diagrams of a squid in anything ever. Other pics: x, x, x

Of course, this also inspires some biomimicry, and people have been designing robots after these neat little critters:

This has been Fun Fact Friday!

[farfromharry]

In my dreams | Peter Parker fic

Summary: Death happens at the most unexpected times, and we’re never ready for it. But Peter wasn’t ready to leave you in heart until he knew you’d moved on and you were ready to give your heart to someone that wasn’t him.

Word count - 14,169

Warnings - massive angst, basically all angst, very light fluff, language, mentions of blood and injury, major character death, mentions of panic attacks, overall this is incredibly angsty so

A/n - this is the tiktok that inspired this whole thing, and the original comment was: ‘as i began to disappear for good so he could love her in peace, i watched him as he stared at our picture and whispered thank you’

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

Death was a strange thing, but one that you had thankfully not had to experience too much of in your life. You considered yourself incredibly grateful for that, because you’d seen the way it hurt Peter; to keep losing the people close to him, you couldn’t imagine the pain his poor heart was always in. He was strong, he still smiled and made his friends laugh like none of it ever bothered him, but some nights when he was alone with you it was clear to see how exhausted he was, he was just so sad and tired of losing people.

Maybe that was why he slipped up, maybe his own exhaustion of being that boy everyone always felt bad for was the reason he fell right into Mysterio’s stupid trap, or maybe it was the fact he wasn’t prepared to lose another person he loved.

The holograms were incredibly realistic he had to admit, but usually with his spidey sense he was able to detect something was wrong. Not that time though, and even if he had he wasn’t sure it would’ve been reliable enough, all he saw was the bearded man with his hand wrapped tightly around your neck, dangling you over the edge of the multi-storey building you lived in, and Peter just saw red. All logic went out the window and he was blinded by the thought of losing you.

He was so dumb for really believing he had you there, and if you ever found out the reason he slipped right off the ledge of your apartment building was because he’d been led up there to think he was saving you from the menacing villain’s grasp, without his suit, then you surely would never forgive yourself.

You remember the day it happened like it was yesterday, it was one of your most vivid memories of him, seeing him laid there on the ground almost entirely motionless, spoiling so many amazing memories of you and Peter that you’d previously had stored in your head. When you thought of him now it would always turn sour and you’d picture him with that draining look in his eyes that haunted you. You’d never forget it.

»»——⍟——««

The day had started off good, the two of you having headed out on a little date to spend some time together. He’d picked you up from your apartment with the intention of taking you to lunch at some fancy place he’d found when on patrol a couple days prior. But upon discovering his plan, you insisted that you weren’t allowing him to spend so much money when you could have equally as much fun grabbing something from Delmars.

He did feel a sense of relief when you said those simple words, because it meant he could help May with the rent again this month, not that he wouldn’t have tried still even if he did take you on the fancy date. But this only served to remind him why you really were the girl of his dreams. You understood his money problems and you never made him feel bad about it, you actually tried to encourage him to be more responsible with it.

Both on the way to the sandwich shop and waiting in line, your boyfriend made sure to shower you with as much love as possible, a way of thanking you for just being you, but in his own special way. That included arms around you securely, kisses on your lips and head every few seconds and small promises of murmured “I love you’s” that had you hiding your face in his chest. You learned early on in your relationship that his love language was physical touch and words of affirmation and they never failed to make you feel all floaty inside. You were so in love, sometimes it hurt.

After getting your lunch the two of you took a small stroll to the nearby park, finding a bench you could sit down on that overlooked the large patch of vibrant flowers that decorated the middle of the field, as well as allowing you and Peter to gush over the many adorable dogs that were being walked around it by their owners. Which of course sparked a discussion about which dogs you thought each other would be.

The brunette's laughter reminded you that you needed to capture the moment, so just like you did every time the two of you came out somewhere together, you pulled out your phone in preparation of snapping a quick picture together. It was routine at this point, and each and every time without fail Peter would whine and try to tell you to just enjoy the moment.

You would always say the same thing though; “Pete, one day this’ll be all we have.”

The words would always make him feel guilty enough to agree without any more resistance, and in the end he’d have a new photo to dote over on the long missions and nights away from you, when he was really missing just seeing your pretty face.

“C’mon Pete, smile,” you coaxed, holding your phone up with the camera angled to get you both in. Peter wasn’t interested in looking at the camera though, he was too fixated on you. He called your name before you pressed the small button, watching as your head turned to look at him with a wide, lovesick, grin that matched his. Your faces were so close together that the tips of your noses brushed sweetly and only then did you decide to capture the picture.

The two of you reviewed your photography with giddy smiles. “I think this may be my favourite one ever,” he stated honestly, staring down at the phone screen with a heart full of love. “Mine too.”

The rest of the day was spent goofing around in the park together until it started getting dark, Peter demanding he walk you home because ‘that’s what a gentleman does.’

The entire walk from the park to your apartment, which was a rather long distance, the boy had been telling you all about the new star wars film set to release soon (plus all the theories he and Ned had) while swinging your hands together in the middle of you both subconsciously.

You weren’t a die hard fan of the movie series but you’d watched them on numerous occasions with your lovable nerdy boyfriend. You’d usually only end up watching his cute face as he recited parts of the script he’d memorised, but you enjoyed the experience nonetheless. Besides, you adored hearing Peter talk about his interests like that. He was always self conscious that he was being too nerdy, due to the constant teasing from Flash Thompson, but you reassured him every time that seeing that excited glint in his eyes was completely worth dedicating hours of your time to listening to him.

He still wasn’t done by the time you arrived at your destination, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him to shut up when he was so visibly excited. Your hands rested on his chest, playing with the unzipped portion of his hoodie as he continued talking. Eyes softly fixated on his face and that silly smile that made you swoon for the teenage boy.

You did eventually zone out from what he was saying, but only because you were so focused on how soft his lips looked at that specific moment in time. You may not have had the heart to stop him before, but you were aching for his lips on yours right then.

“Just kiss me,” you mumbled, hiding your grin as the man bashfully stopped his rambling, a faded blush forming on his cheeks. His lips melted onto yours, a low hum rising from the back of his throat as his hands tightened on your hips. Neither of you wanted to let go, just wanting to stay in one another’s arms forever if you could. “Stay with me tonight?” you asked, pulling your lips away from his for the moment. He frowned, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours sweetly.

“I would, but I promised May we’d go for dinner.” You sighed softly, flashing him a smile as you stole a couple more kisses to try and satisfy you.

“That’s okay, I’ll just see you tomorrow.” He nodded his head, pressing one last longing kiss to your soft lips that left you feeling a sense of completion. “Text me later,” you called, blowing him a sweet kiss from where you stood at the entrance of your building. “I love you,” you sang sweetly, a dumb smile on your lips as you watched him go. The last thing you heard was his voice yelling back and I love you as he jogged across the street, leaving you swooning like a fool. You should’ve pushed more for him to stay.

You were still on cloud nine from your day spent with your boyfriend when the chaos started later that night. You didn’t know what was going on at first, all you were aware of was the herd of people crowding around the entrance of the building outside. Your curiosity got the better of you of course and you quickly threw on a hoodie and trudged your way downstairs.

You searched until you found someone you recognised, a neighbour of yours, asking what had happened. “A man fell off the roof.” You were told, your eyes going wide.

You didn’t know it was your man until May called you to fill you in. Obviously she was Peter’s emergency contact, so when one of the bystanders from outside found him they’d had called to tell her while someone else phoned the ambulance. She was panicking as she tried to make her way to your apartment building as quickly as possible, but you assured her you’d stay with him until she got there.

“Peter!” you called, shoving your way through the crown urgently until you saw your love lying there. It was clear from the look on his face that he was in pain and no wonder. It was a miracle to you that he’d even survived a fall of that height.

He did however faintly hear your voice call his name, his eyes fluttering open as he waited to see your face. It wasn’t too long until you were kneeling down beside him, eyes brimming with unshed tears as you looked down into those soft, honey coloured eyes. They looked so lifeless.

“Hey, what happened?” you asked, hands unsteady as you surveyed the scene in front of you, they eventually came to lightly grip his hand, hearing a small hiss slip past the boy’s lips. He was still in his regular clothes, which told you he hadn’t been many places since your date.

“M-Mysterio,” he whispered, hand loosely clutching his abdomen as he spoke. You frowned, his words leading you to believe that this definitely wasn’t an accident. And you knew supervillains didn’t necessarily have morals, but you expected a grown man like Quentin to at least try and fight Peter when he was on guard, with his suit; he was still just a kid at the end of the day.

It was getting harder and harder for Peter to find something to hold onto to keep him grounded. The pain was excruciating, as one can imagine falling numerous stories only to hit the concrete ground, he couldn’t breathe, he just wanted to let go. You saw the way his eyes threatened to close, and as a person close by instructed, you tried your hardest to make sure he kept them open.

“Peter, baby, please. I need you to open your eyes and look at me,” you begged, cradling his face as he strained to look at you. Everywhere hurt as he even so much as took little shaky breaths and you wanted to curse the ambulance for taking so long. It wasn’t going to do much considering, but you noted the trail of blood from his nose that was slowly running down his face, and as a gesture of good will you ever so gently wiped it away with your thumb, flashing the boy a nervous smile.

Your desperate voice was painful to both his heart and ears, he didn’t want it to be like this. You both had always known this was a risk of his job and as much as you hated to talk about the idea of Peter dying, he’d always insisted. He’d told you countless times that he’d never want you to see him like this, if he was going to die he wanted it to be away from his loved ones so they didn’t have to go through what he did with Ben, or what he and Pepper had to with Tony.

Your crying was what snapped him out of his daze and he wasn’t convinced he could be in more pain until he saw the expression on your face.

“You can’t leave me, not now. Just like you shouldn’t have left me on that bus, or that Washington trip or-“ You could see out of the corner of your eye as his lips slowly, painfully, curved into a smile. Your eyebrows drew together in confusion, but you were patient with him as he searched for the strength to speak.

“I love you,” he wheezed, a short wince following his words. “You are, everything, to me.”

The words falling from his lips sounded so sombre and it pained you to hear the way he talked as though he was already dead. He was already assuming the worst and you didn’t want to lose Peter, you didn’t know how you would live if you lost him.

“No, Peter,” you demanded, shaking your head. “Why aren’t you healing? I-I don’t understand, you should’ve healed by now.”

You were incredibly frantic as you tried to do anything you could. So much so that you didn’t hear the sirens of the vehicle finally arriving. All you felt was gentle hands on your back trying to guide you away from his body. You tried to protest at first, only crying harder as you fought the grip of the helping hands on you. But one look from Peter told you it was okay, the man flashing you a weak smile. “Go,” he whispered. “It’s okay.”

You made a pathetic attempt at wiping away your tears and trying to compose yourself as if you hadn’t just broken down in front of a crowd of people. You spared a quick glance at the paramedic that was going to help your boyfriend before turning back to Peter. You leaned in one more time, lightly pressing your lips to his.

“I love you so much. I’ll see you at the hospital, okay?”

He hummed painfully, watching as you rose to your feet and were guided away by the woman that wanted to console you. “Y/N,” he called weakly, catching your attention. “Everything’s going to be fine, I promise.”

And with those words you trusted him completely, a slight sense of hope finding its way back into your heart for the moment. But he broke that promise, he lied.

»»——⍟——««

It felt like time was slowing down as you waited. Waiting, you fucking hated it. Your body felt like if you didn’t hear anything soon then you were going to crumble under the pressure of not knowing. Those hours spent in the hospital waiting room were the worst ones of your life.

For a little while you were the only one there for him, and it scared you to think he could possibly die right now with no one but you here by his side. It wasn’t right.

But thankfully, May arrived quickly after you did, providing you at least a little bit of comfort that you could really use at that moment just to keep you away from your own vicious thoughts. She tried to help you as much as she could, but after a certain point it was like any reasonable part of you had shut down, and you weren’t making it easier for her.

Stubbornly, you refused to do anything but sit there quietly, bouncing your knee as you anticipated any news. May had tried everything, she offered you a snack or drink every so often, of which you denied politely every time. She suggested going home so you could change out of the clothes that had some small patches of Peter’s blood on, but you didn’t want that either. Eventually she gave up, sitting beside you and just taking your shaky hand in hers.

When they finally had news, considering you weren’t family, only May was allowed to speak to the doctor. It frustrated you, why did it matter if you were related to him or not? Either way you loved him so much and you deserved to hear the news from the source. “Peter Parker?” he called. You both shot up from your seats, looking to him expectantly, though his next words caused you to deflate a little. “Family only.”

You looked at her with a frown, but she was quick to reassure you she’d tell you everything as soon as she could. May didn’t know if hearing it from her instead of the doctor was better or worse for you.

You sat back down in the uncomfortable seat with a dejected sigh, stretching your neck to lean your head back on the wall with a scared whimper. You weren’t sure you’d ever felt so tense, your mind was screaming at you to relax but it was impossible while waiting for such news.

It felt like an eternity that May was gone, but as soon as you saw her figure approaching you wanted to wish it away again. You wanted to know– needed to know what happened to him, but you were petrified of the outcome. Just from the pure lack of emotion on her face you assumed the news wasn’t good, and you really didn’t want to know anymore, not if it meant your boy wasn’t okay.

You stood up from your seat again, hands shaking as you plastered a false smile on your face. She approached you slowly, her hands raising to hold your arms so you were looking at nothing and no one but her, she needed your full attention for this. It was very motherly and you were grateful for the comfort. You weren’t a hundred percent sure you could take whatever she was about to say without it.

“He’s okay, right?” you asked, trying to keep a positive mind. You noted the small change in her expression as your words reached her ears, and you were still forcing a smile even as she sat you down in the waiting room of the hospital. You knew what it meant. “May, please tell me he’s okay. T-They helped him, right?” your voice cracked as emotion overtook you before she even said the two words that you were certain changed the course of your life.

She shakily inhaled. “Y/N. He’s gone.”

You took a few seconds to properly process what that meant, as in no more dates, no more sneaky late night kisses, no more Peter. No more Peter. May didn’t know how to approach saying anything else. She feared that anything she could say would send you spiralling and she wanted to keep you as calm as possible. She didn’t open her mouth until you started denying it all, finding the grief settling in your chest too much to bear already.

“B-But he promised,” you tried, your bottom lip wobbling. “He never breaks a promise.”

May was well aware of that. He’d done so in fact earlier that night by still going to dinner with her even when you asked him to stay with you. He was so dedicated to making everyone happy that he would never even think about breaking a commitment he’d already made to someone. You both admired him for that.

“I know,” she cooed, shushing you quietly as your breath quickened to an alarming rate to the point you were desperately trying to get air. May had sat through enough of Peter’s own panic attacks to know exactly what to do to calm a distressed teenager. You were pulled into her chest, her hand gently stroking your hair.

After your initial gasping had subsided you were taken over by anger. Anger at the world, at Mysterio, at the doctors who couldn’t save him, even pathetically at May. She didn’t do anything wrong, no one but Mysterio did, but he wasn’t here for you to take it out on, so that unfortunately fell to your boyfriend’s aunt.

“You’re lying,” you concluded, pushing her motherly touch away from any part of you. She didn’t seem personally offended by your rage, it was understandable, she’d had to deal with a lot of Peter’s. It was very common for kids not to know how to deal with their emotions, especially the stronger one’s; such as grief. And when it came to Peter Parker, he’d been through his fair share, safe to say she had practice.

She shushed you quietly, trying to coax you back into her arms but you were fighting it. It took a long time but you eventually complied, letting out all your tears into her sweater, mumbling a few quiet apologies about getting the material damp with your tears and of course snapping at her. She assured you it was okay, holding back tears of her own that she wouldn’t let fall until you were out of her sight, by now she was much better at this whole grieving process than you.

“He’s with Ben now,” she said. You could hear the love in her voice as she uttered the name of her late husband. As much as it pained her to think about the fact that they were both gone, she was thankful that they at least had each other. “And his mom and dad, and Tony,” she added, a small smile creeping on her face at the thought of how excited the boy would be to see his mentor again. It hurt, but the pain was eased knowing he wouldn’t be alone.

“B-But I still need him. I don't want him to leave me yet,” you cried. May ran a hand over your hair as she cooed quietly, but she didn’t truly know how to stop your tears. She wasn’t sure what she could think of that would do the job. “I know sweetheart, but we’ll get through this.”

You were in such a state of distress at that moment that you didn’t even recognise Happy entering the waiting room. He greeted May with a simple hello, inferring from your current state that things had gone more than sideways.

She didn’t want to talk about you like you weren’t there as she tried to explain things to Happy, but you didn’t seem to be phased in the slightest when she called your name, so she assumed it was okay to continue. You couldn’t actually hear anything going on around you, it was all like white noise to you.

It took you a few minutes to come back enough to realise that May was talking to someone, and only when you took a moment to breathe did you see it was Happy Hogan. You patiently waited for them to stop talking before telling the man the vital piece of information Peter had told you. You could still very clearly hear his broken voice telling you this was the doings of Mysterio.

“It was him,” you cried, furiously wiping your tears away as you looked up at the man. You watched his eyebrows draw together in confusion. This was the first time you’d spoken since he got here, so he just assumed that you weren’t in your right state of mind right now; although to be fair to him you weren’t. “Mysterio k-killed him, Happy.”

You saw the slight shift of anger on his face, and that alone assured you Happy would deal with it. May rubbed your arm comfortingly, her eyes silently communicating with the man that they should probably get you out of here. They should’ve been more wary of the man, they thought after the events that transpired in London everything was over, but they were wrong.

Knowing that there was someone behind this made him think there was a chance you could get clarity, the man could be punished for what he put you all through, and hopefully it'll make you feel somewhat better.

Happy was the one to help you up from the floor, steadying you on your feet just in case your knees didn’t hold out. You were very clearly weak at the moment. “Let’s get you home,” he said. “Then we can talk more about this whole Mysterio thing.”

Of course arriving home after being given such news was strange, and it was even more strange for your parents who’d been panicking regarding your whereabouts for the last few hours. The last they’d seen you’d just come back from a date with Peter, then they heard about some kid falling from the roof and their minds immediately jumped to the possibility it was you, which would explain why you were nowhere to be found.

They were ready to lecture you as soon as you got home, if you got home that was.

But when they saw you standing in the doorway, tears streaming down your face, May Parker by your side practically holding you up so you didn’t fall, they felt a small sense of relief, but it didn’t last for long as the older woman pulled them to the side to explain everything.

They were shocked to hear the news, their eyes falling to you who’d been led inside by Happy. He helped you onto the couch and sat beside you, hoping you’d be able to tell him more about why you thought Quentin Beck was the man that had killed your boyfriend. You were just trying to adjust to being in your home, where an overwhelming amount of memories were hitting you.

Everywhere you looked reminded you of him. The kitchen where you’d spent countless hours baking or cooking together, the couch where you’d had many movie nights cuddled together. Even just your front door where he always gave you a goodnight kiss when he left your apartment. It was all hitting you like a ton of bricks and it was making everything all the more painful, you couldn’t imagine what it would be like once you got back in your room.

“Can you tell me what happened, Y/N?” His voice was incredibly gentle, and he didn’t push you into saying anything straight away. He could tell you were still trying to process everything that had happened and you needed to take a few breaths before you could even begin to think about your conversation with the boy earlier.

“H-He told me. He was lying there, a-and he told me it was him.”

The man didn’t want to make you talk about this any longer. Your parents were itching to get you to your room so you could get some sleep after this whole mess, but of course they knew how important getting justice was. They were obviously nowhere near as broken about this as you, but they also adored Peter and they often spoke about how the love between you two was clear, this was going to be difficult to move on from.

“Well, this has been a hard day for us all, we’ll let you get some rest,” May announced, shuffling over to you to place a motherly kiss on your head. She whispered some reassuring and comforting words to you, reminding you you could come and see her anytime, even if you just wanted to stay in Peter’s room for a night. Happy did more or less the same, seeing you conjure up a weak smile as a thank you to them both.

“But Y/N,” he said, pausing in the doorway, gathering your attention once again. “We’ll get that son of a bitch.”

»»——⍟——««

The night before the funeral, you couldn’t sleep. You were up and out of bed within the early hours of the morning after countless attempts at failed sleep. You were dressed and ready to go by five am, somehow having not awoken your parents, even though the funeral wasn’t until eleven. You had tried to busy yourself with just about anything, but no matter what it was you did your mind always went back to him. You ended up throwing yourself on your bed, a stuffed toy Peter bought you one year for valentines in your arms, just to stare at the ceiling as the hours passed by.

That’s how your mother found you, her heart aching for you in your helpless state. She had to coax you out of bed, her hands glued to your shoulders to try and stabilise you so you didn’t stumble on your feet. The complexity of your emotions was starting to show through in the simplest of things you did, hence your struggle to even stand still at times.

She tried to take the stuffed rabbit from your arms but you wouldn’t let it go, you couldn’t let it go. If you were going to stay as strong as possible for the day then it would probably be best if you took it with you. So eventually your mother gave up trying.

It was a whole other thing to get you into the car. Although you’d been prepared this morning, now that it was becoming a reality you didn’t want to face it. There were lots of tears and much refusal on your part, but lots of cooing and kind words from your mother really helped encourage you.

You didn’t register much on the journey over there, your mind was too preoccupied playing with the watch you’d been given by May and running your fingers over the soft fabric of the bunny. It was Ben’s watch that he’d given Peter, the one you knew he loved and cherished. She’d told you that she was more than certain he’d want you to have it, in fact that was because she knew Peter was considering getting you a matching one for your birthday in a few months time.

Before you knew it your mother was letting you know that you were here, placing her hand on your knee gently before she got out of the car. You were supposed to follow, you knew that much, but you waited a few minutes to gather yourself first, exiting the car to find your parents standing there with the same sympathetic smiles that you’d grown sick of seeing. Your mom placed a hand on your shoulder, guiding you inside the misery filled building where you were met with May.

You were surprised she looked like she was doing so well because you looked the complete opposite and you wished you knew her secret. She was greeting family and friends as they entered, a smile plastered to her face that you couldn’t work out if it was real or not. She locked eyes with you and offered you a sad smile, greeting your parents before moving to you.

“You look lovely, Y/N,” May said, squeezing your shoulders sweetly before she pulled you into a hug. You sighed quietly, resting your chin on her shoulder as you desperately clung to her. She flashed your parents a strained smile over your shoulder, and they could barely muster up one of sympathy for the grieving aunt. You pulled away with a frown, letting your eyes wander the room to see the countless hero’s standing around, all here to pay their respects to their youngest avenger.

It shocked you slightly that Sam and Bucky were here considering what you’d heard from Peter about his encounter with them in Germany. But your thoughts were quickly interrupted at the sight of Morgan clinging to her mother’s hand. It was the older woman’s voice beside you that brought your attention back over to her. “You brought Bunny?” she asked sweetly.

You chuckled, nodding your head as you ran your thumb over its ear. May had been there when Peter gave the stuffed toy to you, so it made sense she recognised it. “Thought it’d give me some comfort.”

She hummed. You left her to greet the remaining guests, letting your eyes fall on Morgan again as you moved to take a seat in the room. You felt for the girl, and you could see the clear confusion on her face. Just like Pepper, you wished you could protect her from everything that happened, keep her the happy little girl you really had begun to love. But that was impossible in the kind of world you lived in, even if it was incredibly unfair.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a hand being gently placed on your shoulder.

“H-Hey Y/N,” Mj was apprehensive when she approached you, something she’d never been before. She was used to you greeting her with wide smiles and warm hugs that she always pretended she didn’t want. You turned your head to look at her but didn’t even bother trying to fake a smile, she was one of your best friends so she’d only know it wasn’t real anyway. “How are you?” she asked politely.

You wanted to scoff, yell at her for asking such a dumb question, anything to try and unleash some of this rage you had against the world at the moment, but you knew none of this was her fault. She was shy and awkward, so you knew she was only trying to make conversation, and without your usual chatty self it was much harder for her to do so. “Awful.”

You didn’t say anything else, but you were aware of the girl bouncing on her feet nervously. You heard her sigh quietly before feeling her slender arms wrapping around your frame in a way that usually you would initiate. “I love you, and I’m here for you if you ever need me,” she told you, placing a friendly kiss on your cheek as she pulled away and left you to mope.

You got a lot more of that, the dreaded sympathy that only made you feel worse. You wanted to escape them all, you were sure one more over exaggerated look of pity from Thor was going to make you explode.

After the main part of the funeral was over, you essentially disappeared. None of the adults responsible for you had any idea where you were, all but one that was. Happy had seen you trying to sneak away with tears dripping from your cheeks and insisted you sit with him and Morgan just for a little while. The girl was notorious for being able to bring up the mood of anyone, hell her dad was Tony Stark, she’d had practice.

There was just something about her innocence and overwhelming positivity that rubbed off on everyone she spoke to, including you, even on a day like today. As soon as she saw the tears on your face she was wrapping her tiny arms around your torso and demanding you let her tell you some jokes. Most of them were terrible, yes, and she didn’t quite understand all of them, obviously having picked them up from someone like Sam who had no filter even around children, but they did make you giggle even just a little bit.

You told her all about your rabbit and where you got it when she asked, the girl happy to listen to the story about the boy she’d considered like her brother. It had been a touchy topic the entire day and pretty much no one had actually spoken about him, it was nice to hear about and talk about in your case.

Happy was glad to see you smiling, and the sight even had a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth. Over the last month your parents, May, Happy and even your school friends (which only consisted of Ned and Mj mainly) had made it their mission to try and get you out of the house, or at least to smile.

They hadn’t all been successful. Mj had simply read to you in the park one early morning when you found you couldn’t sleep, it started out well, you were outside, but the book had been a bad choice; some story about two lovers that couldn’t be together that only in turn made you more sad. She’d apologised profusely, assuring you she didn’t know but you brushed it off with that same numb feeling in your stomach.

May had managed to bring you a sense of comfort, but not one that had you smiling, more so one that was just helping you to grow more attached to Peter. She’d brought over a hoodie of his, with the promise of bringing more when that one lost his scent, and you truly were grateful, but you weren’t sure how much help it really was.

Your parents didn’t know what to do, they just tried to help out when they could, they listened to you cry and curse at the world for taking such a perfect boy, but no smile.

Happy had managed to pull the smallest of smiles out of you though. He’d found Peter’s camera and laptop while he was sorting through Spiderman’s room at the compound, and after going through a bit of the content on there, most of which was videos of you and Peter being dumb or the man taking off guard photos of you for the sake of just documenting how much he loved you, he decided you would be happy to have it. And he was right, he’d stayed with you while you went through the first few things on the harddrive, seeing the watery smile on your face as you got to hear his voice again. You’d actually thanked him, with a quiet almost undetected crack in your voice. It was something you were going to cherish forever.

The most successful of the bunch though had actually been Ned, mainly because he was also trying to adapt to losing the boy he did everything with, he lost his best friend too. Everyone had told him it wasn’t a good idea, but the boy had insisted. He thought doing all the things you used to do with Peter might bring back old memories, good memories.

He was completely right, from watching star wars to even going as far as playing with legos with him, he had you laughing all night. It was like the you from before the incident was back and he was happy to be the one to have made it that way. It didn’t last though, so clearly it was too good to be true, by the next day you were right back to the way you were, like Ned’s attempt at making you happy hadn’t even happened, but it was a start.

Now Happy wasn’t sure if what he was about to do would cheer you up or make you even more upset, but he wanted to respect Peter’s wishes that he’d explained to Happy when you started dating. He didn’t know what Peter had said on the device, he didn’t want to intrude on that, but he hoped it was good.

“H-He wanted me to give this to you, in case anything like this ever happened,” Happy explained. You took the small disc from the man’s hands with your brows drawn together in confusion. He flashed you a tight lipped smile and coaxed Morgan away from you for a little while.

You hadn’t minded her company, she was the only one at the funeral who wasn’t pitying you and treating you like a newborn baby. She had suffered more than you in this past year, and you had no idea how she kept her spirit up, she’d lost her dad and the boy she’d grown to consider a brother in such a short time, she truly amazed you.

You sat in the room alone just staring at the techy disc in your hands. It had a small label on the side and scribbled in Peter’s adorably messy handwriting were the words ‘For my love.’

It made you smile slightly, having to wipe away a few tears that escaped so they didn’t fall onto the item in your hands.

You tucked it into your pocket with a promise to watch it as soon as you got home, and with a few deep breaths and a quick squeeze of the toy, you were psyching yourself up to head back and find your parents, see how everyone else was doing.

You wanted today to be over already.

»»——⍟——««

The first thing you did when you got home was head straight to your room. Your curiosity as to what was on that device was growing as the seconds ticked by, yet you wanted to be the only one to see it. It felt like you were being a little selfish, but it was addressed to you and you didn’t think anyone else deserved to hear what he had to say as much as you did.

You turned the lock on your door and placed the small piece of tech on the end of your bed, trying to decipher how to turn it on.

It startled you when the hologram projected the image a few feet away, a clear picture of your boyfriend that had you gasping. Part of you wanted to reach out for him, hoping he’d reach back but you knew it’d crush your soul when he didn’t. At the end of the day it was no more than a recording that was a little more high tech thanks to his mentor.

“Wow okay, I-I don’t really know where to start here,” he chuckled. You could see how on the hologram he nervously played with his fingers, something that would usually have you reaching over to hold his hand. “Mr Stark said I should make one of these just in case anything ever happened. May got one too, so don’t worry about that,” he explained. You didn’t know why, considering he couldn’t see you, but you were nodding along.

“If you’re watching this then I’m, well dead. I-I don’t know how it happened- O-Obviously you do, but I can guarantee no matter how, you were the last thing on my mind. You’re always on my mind, baby.”

You smiled softly. You had to take a second and pause the video. It was overwhelming to see him so real for the first time since the incident, and this time you couldn’t stop yourself reaching out to just hope something happened; Anything really. Of course your hand just fell straight through the paused projection as expected, forcing a sob out of your throat. But with a few deep breaths, and a very heavy heart, you were calm enough again to finish hearing what he had to say.

You pressed play and pulled your knees up to your chest, curling in on yourself like a human ball of sadness, eyes trailing over to the spiderman plushie in the centre of your bed. It’d been a gag gift from MJ at first, one that Peter found rather funny too, and eventually the teddy became a permanent feature of your bed. These past weeks it’d been your lifeline. So it was understandable that you reached out for it to cling to while you watched the remainder of the tape. It had a different meaning to Bunny, Bunny was something that came directly from your love and connected you to Peter. But this one connected you directly to Spiderman and that’s what you felt like you needed though.

His death hadn’t been about Peter, it had been about Spiderman.

“I will never stop loving you Y/N. But if you are seeing this someday, then I want you to know that I want you to move on.” There was a few seconds of silence where he wanted to let his words sink in. “I know what it’s like to lose people you love, and I know it hurts, it hurts so bad. But please move on some day, don’t waste your life waiting for me to come back, because I can’t.” The crack in his voice was evident as he basically forced his last words out.

You sighed shakily, gnawing on your bottom lip as you tried to hold back the tears. You didn’t know hearing your lover say that could hurt you so much. He just wanted you to be happy, it shouldn’t make you so upset that he wanted you to be happy without him.

“Go have fun, go get a tattoo or just do something reckless. Do all the things we wanted to do together instead of crying in your room like I know you already are. But do these things with someone, someone you love. Don’t spend time regretting whatever happened because you can’t change it, it’s always gonna suck bubba, it just starts to suck less.”

He was right. God he was so right, just like he always was. That’s another one of the countless things you adored about him, he was just so smart that he was always right all the time. It was something that used to make him flustered because he didn’t want people to see him as a know it all. You smiled at the thought, nuzzling your nose into the head of the bear that had a barely lingering scent of your boyfriend on it; maybe you could ask May for some of his shirts to put on it.

“Peter?” Your head shot up as you heard your own voice on the recording, all things starting to lock into place as you realised when he filmed this. You remembered hanging out with him that day, and you remember asking what the disc thing was that he was holding. He’d brushed it off and told you it was something for Tony before showering you in greeting kisses.

“Uh, you’re here so I should go. I love you Y/N, forever.” The hologram shut off at that point and you knew what he probably expected you to do. So you mumbled the next two words quietly under your breath. “And always.”

You laid back on your bed, taking a few deep breaths before you descended into heartbreaking sobs at the thought of your lover again. This was going to be one hell of a process.

That night, after everything, you needed Peter more than ever. You were craving the feeling of his arms wrapping around you so desperately. Like every other night in the past month you’d planned on crying yourself to sleep, finding it was the only way to get your mind to shut down and allow you to enjoy the pleasantry of sleeping.

Unexpectedly, or maybe you should’ve seen it coming, your mother intervened, insisting just for the night she wanted you to try and take care of yourself, with her help if you needed it.

She couldn’t stand to see you so broken. With much convincing you eventually did agree, simply doing the small things probably would make you feel even the tiniest bit better, and that was good enough for you. She’d dubbed it a much needed self care night.

You were starting with a warm bath, hoping to try and relax and take your mind off of everything. What you didn’t intend was for the swarm of memories of the times you and Peter had shared the intimacy of baths with each other. It was further along in your relationship when you grew more comfortable with each other, so the action in itself was very short lived, but you loved it just as much. You were convinced you could still feel his strong arms around your body, lips on your neck and head and the thought alone only made you sob so much harder.

Of course what you didn’t know was Peter actually was there, in spirit— or maybe ghost form he didn’t really know, shedding tears of his own as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder. He didn’t know how this whole death thing worked, didn’t know why you could feel him but not see him or hear him and your current state broke his heart.

He tried to tell you that he was there but he never seemed to grab your attention. He needed you just as much as you needed him. Granted he’d been reunited with the many people he’d lost through his short life, but he was a kid, he was scared, and he needed his partner in crime by his side like always to help him through it. But sadly, that’s not how it worked.

“I’m here Y/N,” he frowned, heart breaking further than he thought possible. “I’m here.”

»»——⍟——««

After the funeral it didn’t take long until you’d convinced your parents you were okay to go to school. It’d only been just over a month since the incident, so of course you were still grieving, but you were just desperate to throw yourself and your focus into anything at this point, just to get your mind off of him. You couldn’t keep spending your days locked in your room crying into your valentine’s bear he’d got you one year. They were hesitant at first, but after you explained they understood where you were coming from.

But stepping through those familiar doors on that first day back, you weren’t sure it was exactly the right decision anymore. You were met with an overwhelming wave of pitying faces, even more so when walking past the decorated locker that belonged to him.

Others noticed how you slowed your steps when you approached it, seeing the pictures and worn down candles decorating the outside. Each picture was recognisable to you, but you didn’t understand how anyone other than yourself or your friends could have gotten a hold of them, but MJ and Ned never notified you they’d created a shrine.

You hated it. If you knew anything about your boy you knew that he wouldn’t have wanted this. Peter was far from popular in this school, considered a nerd that people tended to just make fun of, especially Flash Thompson. But now even he was pretending to be sympathetic towards the brunette and it made you ridiculously irritated. You didn’t know what to do in your sudden rage, you couldn’t just tear down the shrine, then you’d be seen as such a horrible person, but the thought of these people pretending they knew Peter, your Peter, disgusted you.

You were snapped out of your seething daze by a sudden hand being placed on your shoulder, your body tensing up and relaxing when Ned stepped into your line of vision. He seemed perkier than he was the last time you saw him, granted that was at the funeral so you wouldn’t expect him to be very happy.

“Y/N, long time no see,” Ned teased. You smiled softly, startling him when you pulled him into a tight hug, right in the middle of the busy school hallway. You melted into your friend, knowing the both of you really needed that hug right now. “Let’s go somewhere quieter. I don’t like how everyone’s looking at us.”

You agreed silently, following him all the way to the library where the two of you found Michelle working on some project. She smiled at Ned when she saw him, but she smiled even wider when her gaze landed on you, happy to see her friend trying to get herself back into her normal everyday routine.

She waited for you to approach the table before she said or did anything. You were the one to pull her into a hug, a tight one, but she hugged back just as easily. It wasn’t like when you’d usually have to coax her into hugging you back, but she didn’t want to keep taking your affection for granted, not when one of her best friends was ripped away from her so easily and suddenly. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you too.”

After your quick reunion, the pair of you sat down at the table beside Ned, delving into a quiet conversation. It felt so natural, like nothing had ever changed, even if there was a very large gap missing from your lives and your friendship group.

“Hey, Y/L/N.” Your head turned to where the voice had come from, watching Flash get shushed by the librarian for yelling so loudly while people were trying to enjoy the quiet. Like most other teachers at Midtown she knew how much of a bully he was, especially towards Peter– she on many occasions had had to give you and your boyfriend a place to hide out from him when he just got too much to keep brushing off, hence why she sent a wink your way after she scolded him. You didn’t want pity from your fellow students or even the teachers, but at that moment you were really glad the lovely woman was looking out for you.

The brunette that had yelled for you simply rolled his eyes, taking the scolding as his queue to step closer to your table. You gulped, eyes flickering between him and your friends and then that sick smirk playing on his face.

“I’m sorry to hear about Parker, such a sad loss-” MJ intervened before he could say something that would really hurt you. Even the mention of his name and the implication of his tragic death was painful enough to think about. “Cut it out Eugene. This isn’t a joke.”

“I didn’t say it was, Michelle.” She glared at him angrily and you placed your hand on her arm for a tiny bit of comfort. You didn’t have to sit here and amuse him, he wasn’t worth the time or effort. “I was just offering my condolences to the guy’s loved one. I heard you were there that night, Y/N–”

That was enough for your friends. “Let’s just go, you don’t need to listen to him.” You agreed with Ned, packing up your stuff quickly so you didn’t have to keep listening to Flash’s insensitive comments. He always took stuff too far.

The three of you headed to your first class early rather than suffering through the richkid’s presence. It wasn’t great, especially not with all the looks of sympathy you were getting, but it was the best alternative. You kept your head down most of the time, as you did for all of your classes that morning, your teachers didn’t mind, they put it down to the events everyone was aware had transpired. Usually you’d hate it, but it meant you could simply just relax with numerous distractions until lunch.

The majority of lunch was spent with your head on MJ’s shoulder while she ate and occasionally read a line of her book to you, not participating in conversation, but being constantly brought back to reality by the feel of her hand playing with your hair. You thanked her quietly for the affection, even if it was just a small gesture, but it was something she knew Peter used to do and it just made you feel so loved.

By the end of the day you were exhausted, and your mind had been made up that you maybe needed some more time off before you could really settle back into school.

You let your friends know as such, receiving nothing but love, understanding and unconditional support and you were overwhelmingly grateful for that.

When the three of you were leaving for the day, they offered to walk you home, maybe spend some time with you at your apartment so you didn’t have to be alone in your thoughts. You accepted, offering them both your thanks that they insisted wasn’t necessary.

Before you made it out of the building, you vocalised your thoughts about the shrine you’d seen, the one that made you uncomfortable.

“What’s up with that?” you asked MJ as you walked past Peter’s locker, noticing more stuff had been added since you saw it for the first time that morning. She frowned but then rolled her eyes. “Something some random girl started when the news got out, claimed they were such good friends that she just had to remember him somehow.”

You cocked your head. To your knowledge the only female friends Peter has ever had were you, MJ, Betty and Liz, and he hasn’t talked to Liz since she moved away. “Who was it?”

The girl just simply shrugged, tugging you in the direction of the school doors so you didn’t keep fixating on the sad attempt at making up for the way Peter had been treated by his peers throughout his school life. “Let’s get you home and in a better mood.”

“Will ice cream be involved?” you asked, flashing your friend puppy dog eyes. She giggled, picking up your guys’ pace. “Of course it will be.”

»»——⍟——««

After some time in your apartment watching movies in your room, just like old times, Ned had to leave. That left you and MJ, lounging in your bed with tubs of ice cream and some random movie playing. You were paying more attention to it than she was, you didn’t know the name of it but it was interesting enough, but she was actually studying your room.

She hadn’t been in there in a few weeks and it hadn’t changed significantly. But it was like you were at a toss up of whether you wanted to hide every trace of Peter, or put everything he’d ever touched on show.

She was concerned about you, everyone was, and she didn’t know any other way to approach it other than to be straight up. Her ice cream tub was placed down on one of the side tables beside your bed, the girl then cuddling into your side. Her arms were wrapped around one of yours, her head settling on your shoulder.

She hoped the soft touch would make this go down smoother. “Y/N?” she asked.

You hummed, tearing your eyes away from the screen to look at those wide brown ones that were looking right at you. You offered her a warm smile, letting her know she could tell you whatever was on her mind.

“Do you miss him?” she asked. Her voice was so quiet you almost didn’t hear it. It was like she was scared to ask, unsure it was the right thing to say. You both knew the answer realistically, but she was just curious how you were holding up.

You nodded. “More than anything. B-But, thinking about him hurts, which is why I covered all the pictures,” you explained, motioning to the turned down picture frames on your desk. “But I don’t want to stop thinking about him either, then I miss him too much—“

“Which is why you’ve got the stuffed toys and his hoodie,” she deducted. You didn’t even realise you had his hoodie on, not until she pointed it out. It was just a natural thing for you to do at this point. You recognised the familiar blue material when you looked down at it, a ghost of a smile on your lips.

You didn’t even realise you had started crying until MJ wiped a tear away from your cheek. You sniffled, chuckling awkwardly as you apologised. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.” You smiled gratefully, nuzzling your cheek against the top of her head sweetly. So much physical contact with MJ over these past few weeks was strange, you weren’t used to it, but it was incredibly comforting and you really appreciated it.

She noticed you suddenly seemed quieter, leading her to believe you had something on your mind. “Everything okay?”

You hesitated before responding. “This is going to sound crazy, but I've been seeing him, in my dreams. He talks to me and tells me he’s okay, and–”

She reminded you to take a few deep breaths, She didn’t want you to overwhelm yourself like you were so clearly doing. The tears were getting much worse to control. She was making this whole thing so much easier with her gentle touches, you’d probably be an even bigger mess if she wasn’t here. “He was upset that I wasn’t wearing the necklace he gave me.”

She didn’t say anything, just allowed you to take your time. “I-I have my necklace, the one with his initial on it, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to wear it.” It was sad, you loved the dainty piece of jewellery, it was something you held dear to you since receiving it as a gift on your one year anniversary, and recently was the only time you’d taken it off since he gave it to you.

MJ had never seen you so broken. “It’d be good to keep wearing it,” she said. “Don’t try and block him out of your memory, Y/N.”

She was right. You’d never forget him, never, but trying to pretend as though he didn’t exist by blocking out the memories, or hiding everything you had connected with him wasn’t a good idea.

“I think— I think I might go and see him tomorrow, maybe I’ll be able to wear it then.” She offered to come with you, knowing it might be too painful or uncomfortable to go alone, but you politely turned the offer down. This was something you had to do alone, you didn’t want her to see you grieving more than she already has. You couldn’t imagine you were going to be pleasant to be around. “Thank you, for everything, MJ.”

»»——⍟——««

You didn’t think you were ever going to get used to visiting your boyfriend’s grave. It was strange and you weren’t one that could bring yourself to have a conversation with the headstone like you knew a lot of people did, it felt too weird, you didn’t like it. But you were still going to sit there and reminisce for as long as you could.

Before you left your home, you’d clipped your necklace back on. It’d been tucked away shallowly in a drawer and running your hands over the gold letter had brought a tear to your eye. Peter watched over your shoulder as you fumbled to get the clasp fastened correctly. It made him smile, you’d always been bad with necklaces, he was always the one who’d put them on for you.

It felt so intimate whenever he did that, he would always place a sweet kiss to your shoulder that signalled he was done and it would have goosebumps erupting all over your body. Apparently you both remembered the thought at the same time, a small smile creeping onto your face as you let go of the chain, letting it rest against your skin. You picked up the flowers you’d gotten in advance for this, making sure to take them with you.

“You can do this Y/N.”

That was all the encouragement you needed. With the necklace firmly around your neck you were heading right to the graveyard, walking through the many rows of graves to find the specific one you were looking for. The name carved in the stone sent a shiver down your spine.

You took a seat on the grass in front of the headstone, raising your hand to let your fingertips trace the writing of his name. You set the flowers down at the bottom of the stone, taking a singular one out and keeping it in your grasp.

“Hey, Pete,” you whispered. You pulled your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. You rested your cheek against the tops of them, letting out a sigh as you delved into your silence that you’d remain in for the entirety of your visit.

Your mind and heart was full of memories of the times you’d spent with him, they made you happy and brought a sense of warmth to your heart. You had quite a few in the space you were in right now, only of another person’s grave. Being in this place reminded you of the times you’d accompanied your boyfriend to visit his Uncle Ben. The last time hadn’t been that long ago, he made it a monthly thing that he always stuck to.

You were there to provide him comfort. Sometimes the two of you would just sit in silence together, other times when it was particularly difficult, you’d cradle his head and stroke his cheek, letting him talk about all his good memories with Ben to make him feel better.

If you focused you could still feel the skin of his cheek under your thumb, and if you concentrated even harder you could feel the faint touch of him doing the same to you. He simply wanted to return the comfort.

You sighed, closing your eyes as you willed the tears away. That was how the rest of your day was spent, in the same spot, in the same silence, until your phone started to ring with a concerned parent calling you. You let your mom know where you were and that you’d start to head back. You didn’t know when it got dark but it meant you’d been sitting there a while. The time flew by like it was nothing. “I’ll see you soon, Peter.”

You fiddled with the singular flower in your hands that you’d taken from Peter’s cluster, deciding you had one more thing to do before you left to go home. You remembered the route to Ben’s grave easily, considering May didn’t frequently visit her husband’s grave anymore, finding it too painful, and now Peter was gone, there was no one else left to see him. You thought the man deserved better than that. You didn’t know him too well, mainly just knew things from what Peter had told you, but that didn’t matter.

You laid down the flower at his grave. “‘M sorry, ben.” You don’t really know what you were apologising for, maybe it was because his nephew was gone, or maybe deep down you just felt guilty that they were both gone and you were still here. Either way, you made a promise to yourself to bring the old man a flower every time you came to visit Peter.

For the first time in a long time as you headed home in the dark you felt scared. Usually you had that reminder that Peter was out there watching over the streets of Queens, nothing bad would happen to you when he was out there. And if he wasn’t on patrol, he was the one walking you home, but you no longer had that safety net.

Of course he was watching you like usual though, over your shoulder to make sure you were safe. Peter didn’t know what the limitations of death were, he didn’t know what he could actually do for you if anything bad was to happen, but he likes to think he could do something. For now though, you were just set on getting home.

»»——⍟——««

Nervously fiddling with your necklace had become a bit of a thing for you since you started wearing it again. You couldn’t actually believe what you were about to do, neither could your friends. You’d told MJ and Ned you wanted to apologise to Flash for the other day. If you were truly going to move on from everything, get back to being the happy person you were before Peter’s death, then you had to stop with the hatred. He could hate you all he wanted, but you couldn’t do it anymore.

You left your friends by your locker when you saw the kid heading down the hall. With a deep breath you were calling his name, watching his eyes widen as he saw you. “Hey, Flash.” He really hadn’t expected you to approach him, especially after the way MJ reacted to him in the library.

“Are you here to yell at me? Did Michelle not do a good enough job?” he spat. You huffed, swallowing down any snarky remark you wanted to shoot back at the unbearable boy. Now you remembered why you disliked him so much, he truly was insufferable. But this apology was all about moving on and making things right. You couldn’t get angry and back out.

“I-I’m sorry about the other day, about jumping to conclusions,” you started. “MJ was just being protective, and–”

He shook his head, flashing you a smile that you’d never seen before from him. It actually looked genuine and it surprised you. He thought if anything he should be the one saying sorry for everything he’s put you through, as well as Peter in the past. It might not make up for anything he ever said or did to the boy, but it was certainly a start. “I should be the one apologising.”

It was shocking that you could have an actual genuine conversation with Flash, this was something you’d never done in the numerous years you’d known him. It went better than you thought it would and by the end of it all bad blood between the two of you had been squashed. He could never take back anything he said, or apologise directly to Peter, but you deemed it good enough that he was willing to make amends between you. If only he’d do the same with your friends.

After your talk with him you went and found them again, seeing they were still waiting for you by your locker. The grins on their faces were a telltale sign of how they thought it went. “So, how did it go?” The pair were ready to tease you for your trying, believing the kid wasn’t someone you could have a civil conversation with. They believed him to be just as insufferable as you did before about five minutes ago, possibly more.

“Actually, really well.” They stared at you like they were waiting for a punchline, but it never came. It was difficult for them to process that you were being completely serious, so they treaded carefully. “H-He really had a conversation, and apologised to you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, now can we be done with this?” 

They shared a look that you didn’t want to begin to address, taking their silence as a yes. MJ was the one to actually change the subject though, leading the three of you to your first class of the day, going off on some tangent about a book she’d been reading the previous day. 

Ned stole your attention though, the boy wrapping his arm around your shoulders sweetly. “He’d be proud of you,” he whispered, not wanting to interrupt the ranting brunette girl. It brought a smile to your face the more you thought about it. “You think so?”

He nodded, confirming. “I know so.” 

»»——⍟——««

Peter was right. The pain of losing him never went away, he was still the first thing on your mind every time you woke up, but it had considerably started to suck less as time went on. 

You got yourself into a brand new routine that no longer involved him, and in a way things were starting to go back to normal for you. Or at least as normal as they could be, it just took some time. 

Part of your morning routine before work was to go and get a coffee from a cute little shop down the street from your home. It was quiet, quaint and the perfect place for you to ease into the morning of a busy day.

That was where you met him for the first time. It was unintentional, you’d just got your coffee and were heading out of the door when you stumbled over your own feet, ever so clumsy. Of course you had to drop your newly purchased drink too, watching it spill on the floor. He was the one that caught you, saving the embarrassment of landing flat on your face in the middle of all these people. And you were ever so grateful this moment wasn’t one of those typical cliché’s where you spilled your coffee on him and a romance blossomed when you offered to repay him. 

You were a little flustered when you finally built up the courage to speak to him, chuckling nervously as you wiped your sweaty palms on your jeans. “S-Sorry about that, my friends always tell me I’m clumsy. I guess I underestimate them.”

His deep chuckle reached your ears and you could’ve sworn your heart paused for a minute. You raised your head to look at him for the first time after you very literally fell for him, and you were slightly shocked. You hadn't expected him to be so attractive. If you didn’t feel a massive wave of guilt and a sudden thought about Peter the moment after that, you probably would’ve thought about the possibility of getting his number. But that felt wrong, like you were betraying the boy you promised had your heart forever.

“Don’t worry, I’m just glad I could prevent a pretty girl from getting hurt.” His flirting wasn’t subtle and it had heat rushing to your cheeks as you froze in your spot like a shocked school girl. He noticed the way you didn’t take easily to the flirting, but he brushed it off as you maybe being shy and tried to ease it up a little. 

“Could I maybe buy you another coffee, I feel partly responsible for making you drop yours.”

You seemed hesitant to him. He was starting to grow a little embarrassed himself, thinking you were completely uninterested and he’d just made a fool of himself. He watched as your hand came up to your chest, twirling the small letter pendant in between your fingers.

It suddenly hit him the possibility of you having a significant other and he backtracked on everything he said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about you having a boyfriend, I-I was just so distracted and—“

You shook your head, offering him a smile. This is what he meant by moving on and you needed to start trying to do so eventually. “No, uh— I don’t. It’s complicated.”

You realized that probably wasn’t the greatest of explanations you could’ve given, so you tried to attempt to save the conversation. “Why don’t I let you know over that coffee?” 

The grin returned to his face, his head nodding. “I’d like that. Maybe I could start with getting your name.”

»»——⍟——««

Even after many years had passed, the loss of the love of your life was enough to haunt you every day. You’d tried to do as he asked, you tried so hard to move on, not only with your everyday life, but your love life too. And you did, but no one would ever replace Peter.

Thankfully, after some searching, you’d found a man that was okay with that. He was completely respectful over your attachment to the male, because he couldn’t truly understand the hurt you’d gone through losing Peter at such a young age and he didn’t want to be the one to force you to forget all of your progress.

No longer would you cry a river every time you saw a picture of his face, and you wanted that to be acknowledged, hence the small pictures that decorated the apartment you and your new boyfriend shared. He didn’t mind them, he actually embraced them often. He was always wanting to know the stories behind them and wanting to see others you had stored somewhere. He quickly came to discover you and Peter documented much of your time together, and often when you were feeling down and particularly missing him, he would recreate some of the infamous dates you spoke of even years later.

The dreams had also gotten easier. At first Peter plagued your dreams every time you closed your eyes to go to sleep, but eventually his visits to your unconscious mind grew fewer the less you needed him. That was due to him believing it wasn’t helping you like he’d thought. Reminding you of what you used to be was keeping you from blossoming in your new relationship.

Whether you were ready or not, Peter decided tonight would be the time he said goodbye. He had a feeling it’d be quite the emotional one, but thankfully you had your new lover beside you to comfort you if you needed it.

He waited until you were in a deep enough sleep, invading your dream with a comforting smile that would hopefully make this go down easier.

When you first noticed him he watched the sweetest grin spread across your beautiful face, making his heart feel all fuzzy. “Pete, I missed you.” 

You didn’t hesitate to throw your arms around him, burying your head in the crook of his neck and being engulfed by that familiar scent of him. He couldn’t let you believe this was going to be one of those pleasant memories though. If he wanted this to be as easy as it could be, it was going to have to be quick. “We need to talk.” 

Your smile dropped quickly, that aching feeling lingering in your chest. These dreams with Peter meant too much to you for them to go away now.

You had no idea that this was him actually finding his way into your dreams, before now all the quick greetings had led into at least one memory you shared so you just assumed they were things you actually experienced. But this one wasn’t real, this one was new. 

“I have to stop coming here,” he said, stroking your cheek lightly with his thumb. It hurt him more than you could ever understand to be doing this to you. “You don’t need me anymore.” 

“What? Of course I do. Y-You can’t leave.”

This was the difficult part, convincing you that his actions were in your best interest rather than him being cruel. “No, believe me, you don’t.” 

The sweet tone he was using was confusing your mind. You wanted to give in because of how kind he sounded, but that completely conflicted with the feeling of pain blooming in your heart at the words he was saying. “No, no.” It felt as though agreeing to this term meant you were agreeing to finally letting Peter go. That wasn’t the case but your emotions were really beginning to cloud your judgment to the point it didn’t matter what was true and what wasn't. 

Your hands reached forward to fist the material of his shirt, trying to swallow down the sob threatening to topple past your lips. “Peter, please, don’t leave me,” you begged, your blurry eyes fixed on the figure standing in front of you. You didn’t try to wipe your tears anymore because they only proved to fall harder and faster down your already stained cheeks. He smiled that soft smile that you loved you so much, his thumb gliding over your cheek.

“You don’t need me anymore,” he repeated, not in a rude or controlling kind of way, my god he would stay by your side in a heartbeat if he truly believed he needed to, but rather in a wise way. It was unhealthy for you to keep clinging onto this last bit of him you saw in your dreams, especially when you were trying to move on, unlike his, your life had to keep moving forward.

Of course he would always be watching over in case you really needed him. His Spiderman persona may have been what got him killed but he still had the urge to protect people, more specifically and especially you, from any form of danger.

It was difficult for him, because Peter couldn’t progress anymore, he was stuck having to spectate from now until forever. But he was glad he could continue to watch you grow, watch you marry, maybe even have the family you always talked about together.

He would never truly leave you, but he couldn’t keep visiting you like this if he still expected you to stop having him on your mind day in and day out.

“I do, I need you more than anything,” you said, trying to convince him to keep coming back to your dreams. The nicer dreams were sometimes all that got you through certain days, and you didn’t think you were willing to give that up what felt like so soon. Of course it wasn’t soon, it’d been years, but that didn’t make it any easier, you just didn’t want to let go.

“No baby.” He cupped your face, resting his forehead against yours before lightly pecking your lips. “You’re okay now, you can do this without me.”

You tried to protest, but apparently he’d made his mind up. You were too upset about the situation to notice the tears building in his own eyes as he kissed you for the final time before he’d have to part with you.

“I love you, Pete. Forever,” you said, sniffling quietly. One of your hands was cupping his cheek, the other playing with the hair at the nape of his neck like you used to do when he’d take naps on you. He smiled a watery smile. “And always.”

You awoke with a loud gasp that dissipated into a choked sob, one that startled the man next to you. He was surprisingly used to waking up to you in this state, and he didn’t blame you for it. He was quiet as he helped you to lay back down, pulling you into his body.

“Hey, you’re okay. You’re home, in bed, safe.” You melted into the man’s side comfortably, most of the initial stress of your dream fading away at the touch of the man you loved. His lips lightly came down to leave a few pecks on your hairline, his large hand rubbing up and down your back until your body stopped its trembling.

One of the things you loved about him was that he never forced you to talk about these dreams if you didn’t want to. Even without telling him what it was he knew exactly who was there.

“It was another Peter dream,” you spoke after a few minutes of silence. He hummed quietly. He didn’t hate it when you talked about Peter, or the fact that you still had your pictures together decorating your apartment, or the fact that he knew you always carried around a polaroid of the man, because he understood. Or he understood as well as he could, but he respected that you were trying for him and that’s all that mattered. He was at least proud of how far you’d come grieving wise since he’d met you.

“D’you want to try going back to sleep? Or we could watch a movie or something.”

You shook your head to the latter offer, mumbling something about just going back to sleep peacefully in his arms.

He was perfectly okay with that, nodding his head and doing whatever he could to make sure you drifted off again. He was finding it harder to fall asleep, worried that you would need his help again.

Instead he just lied there, listening to your slowing breaths in the dark room, his fingertips trailing up and down your arm. His eyes scanned the room for what he could see, eyes landing on the framed picture across from the bed.

It was of you and Pete of course, right next to another one of you and him together. Peter could remember the day it was taken, it was one he would often project in your dreams when he could feel that you were especially needing him. It was the day of the incident however, but he hoped by helping you remember the good of the day, it would outweigh the bad.

His eyes flickered down again to you in his arms. The way your breathing had slowed now that you’d fallen back asleep, peacefully this time due to the sense of protection you felt being cradled by your boyfriend.

For the last time he looked back up at the picture and his mouth twitched into a smile, his eyes watering partially at the circumstance. And as Peter began to disappear for good so your boyfriend could love you in peace, he watched as the man stared at your picture and whispered a quiet, grateful, thank you.

━━━━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━━━━

peter parker taglist → @call-me-baby-gir1 @parkerlovebot @sinisterspidey @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lowkey-holland @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @sannie-san-shine @sonnydoesrandomshit @hopeless-romantic-baby @thehumanistsdiary @dummiesshort @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets @bvttercupbby @spideyspeaches @httphollands @captainamirica @lou-la-lou @slutforsr @tayyx @annathesillyfriend @paninipress @whoeveniskendall @dhtomholland @multixfandomwriter @magicalxdaydream @hallecarey1 @lovehollandy12 @peterbenjiparker @the-girl-in-the-chair @belovedholland @rqmanoff @hogwartsmarvelmommy @elishi03 @mn-jun @nocturnalms  @peter-parkers-gf @wrendermeuseless @ladyluvr @ccosmic-illusion @camelliaflow3r @ellabellabus07 @hunnybunimdun @tomslover @instabull @usergarfields @raajali3 @kayasholland @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @peterparkersgirlfriend1 @wildholland @reallysparklychaos @thollandgf

[twinsimming]

Dream Home Decorator Living Room Set 🏠

In my personal opinion, The Sims 4: Dream Home Decorator has some of the BEST buy mode items out of any Sims 4 pack. So naturally, I had to have them in the Sims 3 as well :p There are a total of 16 objects in this set, including the lovely artwork and cute little llama deco item. This is only the first round of conversions from this pack. More is on the way! If you’re looking for more conversions in the meantime, @pixelfrogslegs​ has recently converted some items from Dream Home Decorator as well, which you can find here. The rug in the first photo is from here and the wall lights are from the store.

Comfort

Masterpiece Chair: two channels | §260 |

Rags to Riches Chair: two channels | §345 |

Superficially Social Sitting Bench: two channels | §350 |

Swoopy Backed Sofa: two channels | §620 |

Décor

Forbidden Cereal Bowl: three channels | §100 |

Friendly Little Curtains: three channels | §175 |

Issues of Interior Design Magazines: non-CAStable | §50 |

Lana the Llama: three channels | §60 |

Leyland Home Travel: one channel | §325 |

Outdoorsy Indoors: one channel | §325 |

Pampas Grass: three channels | §300 |

Present Day Multi-Cube by Paltry Predictions: one channels | §120 |

Whittler's Mother: one channel | §120 |

Surfaces

Cuthbert B. Table: three channels | §100 |

It's Good To Be Square - Coffee Table: two channels | §120 |

The Crumbcatcher End Table: two channels | §90 |

| All TS4 presets included and base game compatible |

Credit: meshes by EA, The Sims 4, Sims4Studio, TSRW, Blender, Milkshape, Photoshop, and Gimp.

Download (SFS, package) | Mirror (MEGA, package)

Experiencing issues with my conversions? Inbox me. Enjoy! 💙

[scarlet-star-witch]

Masterlist

** Indicates Smut

The Mandalorian:

Fade Into You ** (Multi-part):

Din has spent a year grieving the love of his life. While he thinks he has lost her forever, she lingers in the darkness, her mind twisted and manipulated, with no memory of him or the love they shared (Mandalorian/OC)

Oneshots:

First Meeting

Din Falling in Love

Iella Falling in Love

The Injury

His Name

First Time**

The Ball

The First I Love You

The Fight

The Wedding

The Wedding Night **

Daryl Dixon:

Leather & Lace ** (Multi-part):

The last thing Daryl Dixon expected to find on the farm was love. No matter how hard he tries, the eldest farmer's daughter would not leave his mind. Both survivors of abuse, unwilling to let themselves fall too hard. A relationship with a Dixon is never easy, especially not during the apocalypse

The Suicide Squad:

Rick Flag

Rebellion **

A relationship between a colonel and a criminal wasn’t an easy secret to keep

Empty Promises

He promised his wife and daughter a safe return at each mission, but this time, he worried it would finally become a lie

Family Reunion (Part 2 to Empty Promises) The Suicide Squad finally meet Rick’s secret Family

Robert DuBois - Bloodsport

Fuck It I Love You

He ignored her out of guilt, but no matter how hard he tried, his feelings for her weren’t going anywhere, especially when they have to team up for a mission

Marvel:

Moon Knight

Soothing Touch

Just a little piece of fluff about touch starved Steven Grant

Find My Way Back To You

Steven has questions for Marc when a woman in pain makes his way into his dreams

Euphoria:

Fez

Since I’ve been loving you **  Part 2**  Part 3   Part 4**   Part 5**

The story of how Fez fell in love with his ray of sunshine

The Instagram Picture

Fez doesn’t like what he sees on his girlfriend’s Instagram 

Oblivious

Fez doesn’t realize when he’s being hit on, but his girlfriend does

Two Hours **

Fezco goes down on his girlfriend for two hours

The Gunshot

Fezco is a mess after someone uses his weak spot against him

The (Over)Protective Pair

The brothers are weary of Faye’s friendship with their Sunshine

Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington

The Story of Us

How Steve fell in love with his best friend and found the love he deserved

Code Red**

Dustin has the worst timing and stumbles on a secret relationship

Make a mess out of me**

Steve makes his girlfriend squirt for the first time

Eddie Munson

The End of the Nightmare

Eddie waked up in the hospital after fighting in the upside down

The Domestic Life (Part 2 to The End of the Nightmare)

Eddie’s happiness through the years with the love of his life

Interruptions**

Eddie can’t get a moment alone with his girlfriend

Squid Game:

Kang Sae-byeok

My love, I’d do anything for you

Sae-byeok leaves behind more than her brother after the games end

Seong Gi-hun

Tell me when you hear my heart stop

High school sweethearts are reunited at the games, unaware of how both of their lives have unraveled in their separation

Hwang Jun-ho

His Sanctuary **

Jun-ho returns home to his wife, unaware of the unexpected visitor she had received in his absence

The Salesman

Papi Pacify **

It was never just a one-night stand for him and he’s determined to keep her in his life

[littledead-ridinghood]

random question since idk if you read fanfic, but if you do, any jason-centric fanfic recs where he isn't portrayed as needlessly violent / incompetent/stupid etc? or where swears don't make up 50% of his vocabulary?

basically, any fics that show jason is actually super competent at what he does and that address his backstory and his relationship with bruce in a realistic way would be fantastic, because they're so hard to find.

I literally only read Jason fanfiction, call me a connoisseur, or full of problems, but I feel like my taste is pretty immaculate if I do say so myself. At least, I know what I like in fanfiction and personality-wise, so I hope these help!

General Bruce & Jason relationship fics:

Two Weeks to Forever: Oneshot by MassofMen

This is actually a series where Jason is bruce's bio-son who got to grow up with each other. Let me tell you, the amount I wanted to cry at the lines: “In retrospect, two weeks and three years felt the same” is disgustingly immeasurable. Short little 1.5k words of bittersweetness where bruce mourns for his dead child. It just hurts in the best way. Super cute in that heartwrenching way. I can't recommend this one-shot enough; the child loss is palatable

The Jason Project: Oneshot by loosingletters

This one I wouldn't have doubted you've read, but it's Jason finding the bucket list he made as a child and then finding out Bruce had worked his way through it after Jason's death. This one I did cry reading. You know that feeling you get hit with when nostalgic for something that never happened in your childhood therefore you mourn that loss of experience? Ya, that's what reading this feels like. The absolute loss of childhood Jason almost had and then the hopeful ending of maybe trying to live some of those missed moments and memories(even if those events won't--can't-- be the same because of the overbearing cloud of his death). *mwah* art

when you were young you used to dream about fires: Oneshot by someplacewarm

Bruce travels back in time and winds up meeting Jason before Willis went to prison and Catherine died. What I like about this fic is that even though Bruce thinks about his Jason, it's not in a past!Jason, Robin!Jason, and RH!Jason way, it's in a pre!Bruce and post!Bruce way. So many fics are about who jason was and turned into, and it's nice to read a story that subtle acknowledges Jason as all encompassing without it being shoved down your throat. Bruce never explicitly states "No, no, he's back and he's still Jason." The hurt is written as a broad sadness of Batman just be upset it happened to begin with. Absolute gut punch where bruce is helping a hurt passed jason whilst knowing what comes

Competent!Jason:

More Chances Than Deserved: complete multi-chapter by Skalidra

a must-read for all my slit throat enthusiasts(such as myself)! Also would not be surprised if you've read this one, but it's so good. In UtRH, Deathstroke was canonically lurking around trying to merc Jason, so this is a canon divergence of Slade finding Jason after Bruce slit his throat. Due to the damage, Jason falls permanently mute, a divergence I need more content for because I'm evil and love angst. I like the call-back in the last chapter where, even though Jason is super competent in this fic, he still, as in the UtRH comic, succumbs to his emotions whilst fighting bruce, but in a believable manner. Though he doesn't necessarily win the final fight, he chews Bruce out massively and satisfying, leaving with the final word. I've read a lot of this author's work, and has a ton of competent!Jason fics(also a ton of dark fics which i do usually favor when reading fic in general)

Too Much Fucking Salt: Oneshot by Yidkirkin

My history says I've read this 22.5k masterpiece five times and I assure you it's definitely more than that. Highlights! Jason kills the fuckin clown! don't worry, that's not a spoiler, it's literally like the second tag. Do you really need more than that? Yes? Well, Jason is super poetic in this in how he describes his situation. I remember reading this story on the day posted and being floored by Jason's internal monologue on comparing himself trying to be accommodating and placating while the stress continued to boil and boil with a housewife. It's one of those bits of writing that has just stuck with me. The juxtaposition between Jason wanting to be accepted back in the bats with the realization he will never be able to heal with the Joker constantly breaking out, slaughtering, and, in the process, reopening Jason's own wounds with his trauma. Jason putting himself first because none of the bats put in any effort to see his side? Show-stopping

Learn to Pick Ourselves Up (Jason Todd Zine Contributions): two-part series by scandalsavage

Just some nice, soothing "Jason putting his foot down and having the last word." Whenever I read their work, I always enjoy this author's characterization of Jason: smart, competent, and capable, but still manages that emotional aspect of Jason in a very well-mannered and realistic way. When he's upset, there's build-up where you can see where that flare comes from, but also follow through where Jason doesn't just "get over it" in three sentences. Definitely more of an emotional maturity competence read over crime-fighting competence read, very satisfying to see Jason walk away

Blind Justice: vignette also by scandalsavage

Just...it's a what-if situation that's just So Satisfying, yet Not at the same time. It's satisfying because Jason leaves, but also "fuck Bruce", ya dig? Some may not agree, but I would stand to argue. A short, simple 881 words where Jason scapegoats himself for Bruce and then leaves Gotham and never looks back. It is my interpretation of Jason that he has always been used as a scapegoat for other characters(in-world and out-of-world), and I believe that Jason is so used to being perceived as the "fuck-up" that he has no qualms about using that assumption to protect others he cares about. Think of him fighting off his mom's drug dealers with a bat in the very beginning of RHatO V.1, he's putting himself in harm's way purposefully because he's used to being beat around. Or in the new Nightwing Annual (T. Taylor, my beloathed) where Robin Jason says: "You want to hit a kid? Hit me." I think this small piece of writing encapsulates that side of Jason immensely.

I read a lot of Bruce + Jason fics, most of which are angsty and emotionally driven, but these are some of the ones I thought of off the top of my head. So, if anyone wants more recs, I will happily oblige. I enjoy gushing over media I love (if you haven't noticed my blog ;) ) Going through my AO3 history, I realize I read a lot of emotionally driven works with people who just happen to be vigilantes rather than "wow look at this man showing off his skills while fighting crime!" I didn't want to only hand over one-shots of Jason chewing bruce out, as good as they are, I also wanted to offer up "yes, Jason is so obviously uberly smart and good at what he does" so I tried to steer clear of heavy emotion having-the-last-word competent fics rather aimed for skill-based competence.

I agree, anon, it's so hard to find fics where Jason is not subtly bagged on in some way. And so many BAMF Jason tagged fics are too OP and unrealistic for my taste. Often times the best competent fics aren't gonna be tagged as such, but that also runs the risk of ending up with a fic where Jason can't even through a punch correctly. Really a gamble each time. My suggestion is to find an author you like for how they characterize. Then hope they have a lot of bookmarks or have social media to see what other fic writers they're in cohorts with as they probably write similar characterizations.

I hope at least some of these you haven't read and that you enjoy these recs! <3

[jennagrinsoverml]

do you have any fic recs that are just kim heavy or feature a lot of him cause tbh he brings comedy on another level

I really don't tend to seek out fics based on characters outside the love square, but Kim is definitely a fun character, so hopefully you enjoy these love square fics where Kim has a fairly prominent role.

I’ll Be Your (Wing)Man by @botherkupo

When Chat Noir finds Marinette sighing over her failed love life, he decides to help her get the boy of her dreams. Nothing can go wrong here. Absolutely nothing.

Multi-chapter. This is hilarious! One of my favourite parts is when Adrien becomes convinced that the boy Marinette loves is Kim and tries to set them up.

Chat's Cradle (part 6 of BAMF Mari) by @freedom-shamrock

Consistent with this series, this story contains a few ship wars, Kim encouraging Adrienette, some weight lifting, Adrien blurting out something inappropriate.

Installment within a series. It's hard for me to judge how necessary it is to read the others to enjoy this one—my impression is not very. But this one features Kim, Adrien and Marinette weight lifting together and it's sweet and fun.

Look at this Photograph by orphan account

Nino's apartment is full of unused picture frames, but he claims to know the blond stock photo model that lives in each one.  Everyone else is a little more skeptical of his (imaginary) friend.

One-shot. Adrien’s not a big famous model. Instead he’s a stock photo model. The whole thing gets ridiculous when he and Nino meet and become friends. Kim is Nino’s roommate, so he’s got a pretty sizable role here, and he’s just so fun! I love this fic. 

Operation Secret Garden - Secret Weapon by Krispo

The bottom of Marinette’s stomach dropped out. Looking around at her friends that she was huddled up with, she saw that she was not alone in her absolute horror. They were ashen-faced and wide eyed. No one knew what to say or do to contain the emergency that was certainly about to happen. The group of 6 girls slowly turned their heads towards the cause of their panic.

A smirking Kim stood in the doorway of the otherwise empty classroom, wiggling his fingers at them in a little wave. “Good afternoon ladies. Tell me more about this operation secret garden”

One-shot. This one is just so much fun! It’s so rom com-y and Kim is such a little shit stirrer here and I loved every second of it. (There are some spelling and grammar issues, but imo they’re worth overlooking.) I laughed and enjoyed the crap out of this one.

Slow and Steady Win’s the Race by @baneismydragon​

When Marinette is feeling down about her continued inability to ask out Adrien, and old friend becomes an unexpected source of comfort and advice. (A Marinette and Kim friendship fic)

One-shot. This is just really cute and fun and, at under 1k, it’s a super quick read. But I really enjoyed the marikim friendship, and honestly Kim has some pretty good advice here!