#lock-downs

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[pluvioseprince]

Yusuke Kitagawa has no Clue he is about to drink paint water. He's too locked in

Yusuke with artblock and Yusuke Biweekly Ice Soup

[fawntastic]

Guys my nativity scene looks a little weird

[trekkerac]

this is just what anxiety is like context

[shotmrmiller]

tw:somno

living next door to ghoap and while they (mostly Johnny) like to strike up conversation with you whenever you're getting your mail or tossing out the trash, lately, they've been catching you at every opportunity. even before work and they'll keep you around long enough to almost make you late.

maybe that's why you've suddenly started having raunchy dreams about them both. (but what makes it weird is that they're never together. it's only ever one or the other.) it's hard keeping the shame that sits hot in your chest below the collar of your shirt when you always end up cornered by either johnny or simon just to ask you how you've been recently, if you've slept well, that your skin is glowing.

how can you tell them that you've been getting the best sleep you've had in months because every other night, you've been having an actual orgasm or three to your wet dreams? that you've been waking up in the morning with release sticking your inner thighs together, your sex hot and tender to the touch because (in your imagination) he and his boyfriend eat pussy like it's the last one on they'll ever have?

none of this would be an issue if you just had you a nice boyfriend to give you the attention your neighbors have been forcing upon giving you.

(you don't. you give them a shaky smile, a weak excuse and run straight to your flat. it prompts johnny to chide simon for being so overzealous with you. "told ye to give 'er a few to recover, ye'd gone into 'er room just two days ago," as if he hadn't lapped up all the slick you'd left on simon's face after an hour of eating you out. as if johnny wasn't the one to suckle on the sensitive skin of your inner thigh long enough to leave the mark you'd confused for a bruise. hypocrisy at its finest.)

[shouyuus]

rin would absolutely be the type of bf to randomly pull your chair closer at the dinner table (even if you're out at a restaurant or eating with friends), or loop an arm around your waist when you're out and about, just to pull you into his chest, or hook his chin over your shoulder when you're both in the kitchen and you're trying to bake or something. and he wouldn't say anything, he'd just be content being close to you -- it's the physical contact he likes, the thing he craves (he itches for it, sometimes literally) and if you ever asked him about it, asked him what he's doing, he'd just shrug and be like --

"nothing. just wanted you closer."

"rin... we're already pretty close."

"mm. yeah. but... not enough."

[cheralith]

imagine you're getting married to kaiser and even though you're the bride, it's him that turns into an absolute bridezilla.

initially, you thought it'd just be a small event between you and him—just going down to city hall and be done with it—but when you had sleepily confessed to him one quiet night as he played with your fingers that maybe in another life, you'll get a traditional wedding, kaiser's determined to make sure you get what you want in this one.

and this guy kinda goes a bit bonkers. he's got everything planned in meticulous detail in this binder he carries around everywhere with all the information one could possibly need—vendor info, list of caterers, drafts of the schedule for d-day. at first, you think it's sweet, that he's going all the way for you and him. until he goes... a little too far.

he once grossly spat out his bite of a sample black forest cake right in front of the baker. "this is an insult to germany itself. never bake this again if you know what's best for you."

"i thought i asked for silk tablecloth with the chiffon runner?" he seethed at one caterer, grabbing the fabric and bunching it in his fist. "you thought you could fool me with this cheap-ass polyester?"

"i don't give a single shit if they're out of season," he cussed at one of the florists over the phone. "get me those tan hua flowers for my wedding or so god help me."

the list of caterers in his binder grows narrower and narrower—with some of their services slashed by kaiser due to "incompetence"(kaiser's words, not yours) or they flat-out refused to provide service to you due your fiance's temperament.

you tell him multiple times that this doesn't have to be a big event he has to stress over, that all you want is for you to tie the knot and to devote yourself to each other, but all kaiser does is kiss your forehead and tell you that he's got it covered.

"what kind of husband would i be if i didn't make my beloved's wishes come true, mein schatz?"

[douwatahima]

also ohhhhhhhhhh lumon running a fertility clinic (their logo is in the corner of the intake form) that they use to find vulnerable people to be their potential victims and then sending them cryptic psych evals (those cards gemma was looking at at the kitchen table look a lot like the ones o&d was making last season) to further test out if they would be right for their fucked up little schemes

irving was right when he said they should burn that place to the ground that company is straight up EVIL

[bberetd]

PIGTAIL DAISY ACQUIRED!!!

[dirtgrubber]

🌱🌸happy spring 🌺🍃 (it’s officially wedding season babeyyyy)

from ch. 46 of @morningstarwrites amazing masterpiece “Of Saints and Sinners”

[kxsagi]

HII i loved the “rizz? what is that?” post so i was thinking if it were the other way around, like the reader saying a suggestive pick-up line but they don't really know the double meaning and think it's something innocent ( I hope I explained it well... )

“𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐝”

a/n: YESSS i gotchu bae

ft. isagi yoichi, kaiser michael, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, nagi seishiro, mikage reo, shidou ryusei, bachira meguru

isagi yoichi

“yoichi… if i were a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seeds? 😄🍉”

isagi nearly dies. he literally chokes on AIR. 

he jolts, grabs the table, and stares at you like you just said the word “orgy” in front of his mom. “wait. WHAT?” 

you just smile like it’s a hallmark commercial. “i saw it on pinterest! i thought it was, like… romantic and unique!” 

yoichi’s whole soul is leaving his body. he’s making mental deals with god. 

“baby. baby. are you serious? do you know what you just asked me?” 

you blink. “if you’d spit or swallow… my watermelon seeds?” 

“… you’re so cute. and so scary.” 

he’s genuinely sweating. googles it while you’re not looking to make sure it’s not that dirty and then cries harder when it is. 

writes it down in his notes app under: “things she says that accidentally send me into heat.” 

kaiser michael

you’re cuddling in bed, scrolling on your phone when you turn and say, “mihya… are you a drill? because you’ve been filling my holes in all day 🥰” 

kaiser freezes. just STOPS functioning. he looks like he’s buffering. 

“what did you just say to me?” 

“you know, like emotional holes! the gaps in my life? you're healing me~ 💗” 

he sits up like he's in a courtroom. “sweetheart. i’m begging you to never say that in public.” 

you’re like “wait why? is it weird?” 

he snorts so hard he almost pulls a muscle. “you basically said i’ve been going jackhammer mode on you 24/7.” 

“JACK–??” 

“no no no don’t backtrack now. it’s canon. i’m a drill. i’m the drill of your life.” 

starts flexing his biceps every time you walk into the room like “you ready for construction time, princess?” 

you can’t live this one down. not ever. 

itoshi rin

“rin… are you a light switch? because every time I see you, you turn me on 😄” 

rin stops moving entirely. he’s halfway through opening the spice drawer and just… goes still. 

his eyes shift to you slowly. his soul already leaving his body. “… what?” 

“you know. like… you light up my world or whatever 💡🧡” 

he just stares. blinking hard. he’s trying to decide if he’s dreaming or if you actually just said the one thing that makes his cold little heart short-circuit. 

“you just said i turn you on.” 

you hum. “because you’re sweet and nice and warm like a light switch!!” 

“light switches aren’t warm. also, that means… something else.” 

“… like what.” 

he doesn't answer. he just drags a hand down his face and walks out of the room in pure emotional panic. 

he spends the next 30 minutes reading a psychology forum on whether you said it on purpose or if you're just a menace wrapped in sunshine. 

spoiler: he thinks you're both. and he's obsessed with you. 

itoshi sae

“sae, are you a good parking spot? because you’re hard to find… and i wanna put it in you 😚” 

sae spits out his drink. 

he blinks. once. twice. then stares at you. 

“… what did you say?” 

“you’re a good parking spot!” you repeat, smiling, “you know, rare. and everyone wants to find you.” 

“and put it in me?” 

“uh huh!! the car, duh!” 

he looks at you like you just committed treason. “you do realize people say ‘put it in’ in an entirely different context, right?” 

you freeze. “like… sex?” 

he nods solemnly. “exactly like that.” 

you shriek and fall backward off the couch while sae is just sipping his tea with the SMUGGEST grin ever. 

he’ll bring it up forever. at the most inappropriate times. 

“this place is crowded. might not be able to put it in.” 

you scream every time. 

nagi seishiro

“sei… do you like starbursts? because i’m gonna let you unwrap me 😋” 

nagi tilts his head. he’s laying on your lap and you just said the most sexually charged sentence known to man with the innocent tone of a cartoon bunny. 

“unwrap you… like a snack?” 

“yeah! like a candy 🥰” 

“you know you just told me to take your clothes off, right?” 

you blink. “wait. NO. THAT’S NOT– wait, IS THAT WHAT IT MEANS??” 

he rolls over to hide his grin. “too late, now i’m imagining it.” 

“sei–” 

“can’t unhear it. you said it. it’s law.” 

he starts looking up starburst-flavored body lotions. 

texts reo: “she said i can unwrap her. i think this is what love is.” 

mikage reo

“reo, if you were a vegetable… you’d be a cute-cumber! 🥒” 

he freezes. deadass mid-moisturizer. “… you said what?” 

“cute-cumber!!” 

“you said that to my face. in my skincare room. with GOD watching.” 

you pause. “wait… did it mean something else?” 

he goes to the urban dictionary. you read it. you gasp. “THAT’S ILLEGAL.” 

reo is dying laughing. “you thought you were being sweet. meanwhile, i just had a full-blown spiritual crisis.” 

starts writing it on sticky notes and putting them on the fridge. 

you walk into the kitchen: “stop putting ‘cute-cumber’ post-its next to your protein powder.” 

“i’m a man of pride.” 

shidou ryusei

“ryu… are you made of cake? because i wanna eat you from the inside out 😋🍰” 

shidou short-circuits. he yells. “HUHHHH??” so loud it scares the neighbor’s cat. 

he starts pacing. throws his shirt off. flops onto the couch like he’s in a romcom-induced coma. 

“no way. NO WAY YOU JUST SAID THAT.” 

you blink. “what? it’s a compliment! because you’re sweet!” 

he sits up. “baby…you just said you wanna devour me carnally.” 

“CARNALLY??” 

“YEAH!! like you want me for dessert in a porno.” 

you throw the popsicle stick at him. “I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT CAKE!!” 

he’s cracking up. recording this whole conversation for future blackmail. 

posts a story captioned: “she wants me like cake. i’m so back.” 

bachira meguru

“meguru… are you a campfire? because you’re hot and I want s’more 🏕️” 

bachira makes the most dramatic gasp. hands to his chest. “you wanna WHAT??” 

“have s’more of you!! like s’mores!! because you’re so warm and toasty and–” 

“NOPE. TOO LATE. i’m now imagining us naked in a tent.” 

“MEGURU STOP 😭” 

he immediately gets all giggly and chaotic, poking your cheek with a marshmallow. “you said it. i’m hot. and you want more of me. that means i’m the main course.” 

he starts calling you “campfire girl” and buys you a plush s’more with googly eyes on it. 

whispers “you want s’more, huh?” every time he pulls you into a hug. 

you live in a never-ending loop of regret. he lives in bliss. everyone else suffers. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

[inkskinned]

don't worry, they're joking! they're always joking when it would be something, like bigoted. because i'm not a bigot, obviously, i just vote for bigots - well, they're not bigots either, you can't really call someone a bigot just because they have religious views. this is the land of the free, and it's a christian nation, after all. you can pretend otherwise but let's just be real here; all our values are really based on the bible. anyway, i know you liberals get your panties in a twist - can i say that, or are you gonna cancel me, haha, #metoo - about every little joke he said and every little dramatic political view. oh, fascist this and fascist that. you are online too much, you love the word fascist because it's big and you're just paranoid about things.

well, no, i don't, like, read the policies. i have a life. and so what if they wrote - stop it, it's not a manifesto, okay? he eventually backed off from that - oh the vice president? who cares about that guy, that isn't real power. you're being dramatic, they're just spitballing. everyone makes big claims when they're out there campaigning. he just means he personally wouldn't get gay married. you want him to divorce his wife and get gay married? anyway, even if they cancelled gay marriage - it wouldn't happen, okay? nobody i know really cares about that - it'd be states-rights like those abortions you love so much. and you live in a blue state. you live in like the gay capital of the world. i don't know why it'd be so bad for you, you're borrowing trouble there.

and besides, you're missing the point of his campaign! you people want to be victims so bad you completely ignore what we're really voting for. there are tons of good things that happened because of his name and his policies - the economy, for one. oh stop, just because i can't tell you what a tariff is off the top of my head doesn't mean i don't have eyes. and stuff was better under him! well, yeah, anything good is his work, obviously. what? no, all the bad stuff was biden. and probably also obama. what do you even care about this, anyway? it's not going to effect you. it's four years.

oh my god, not the climate change argument again, i'm not getting into that. i don't care about it. if my house is beachfront that's great news for me. and we don't really know what's causing it. no, i saw you forwarded me those articles and i just laughed. what, do you think i have time to sit on my ass and read shit? huh? well, no, i like reading the babylon bee. they actually had a great article about all you climate freaks. and in the meantime, what do you want me to do? i'm not paying 4 dollars for gas. liberals love to talk about solutions but never pay for the solutions. what do you mean blocked because of congress. you gotta stop with the conspiracy shit.

no, my side doesn't have real conspiracy theories. the vaccine thing is a real thing. besides, you yourself don't like big pharma. just because i have an opinion, suddenly now you think big pharma is great? and this is serious, okay? your mom's friend's coworker has a kid that died from a heart event. i don't want you getting any more vaccines. i regret that you got them as a kid, i'd redo them. what do you mean you'd vaccinate your own kids? are you finally thinking of having some? you know i want grandkids - oh stop, i've never pressured you, i'm just saying that if you're going to get gay married, you might as well give me some normal grandkids to love.

stop, you know what i meant. what? no, he's not going to take away your right to adopt. besides, you could always use a sperm donor, haha, i know your high school ex would love to - jesus! okay! no need to snap. i'm just saying that you don't need to be married to have a kid. the only real benefit to marriage is taxes, haha. it won't change anything. oh my god, no, there won't be a rise in hate crimes. well, it's not his fault what people do in his name! he eventually spoke out against that, anyway.

what do you mean he supported them? i didn't hear him say that. oh. well, yeah, he said it, but like, he's clearly joking.

[vi050iv]

It’s Swervin’ Time!! Swerve, the worst shot who serves the best shots <3

[elkkiel]

the exact flavour of aggressive allyship we love to see 😌✌️✨

via twitter:

[egophiliac]

do skully have pokemon?

Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.

(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)

[towl]

BARŌ SHŌEI Blue Lock ⚽︎ EP25:"Tryouts"