#lol i feel like dying a bit im so drained

[mainfaggot]

2/3 finals OVERRRRRR

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Holy crap I’m loving your writing! Im especially obsessed with Ken and the ranch owner

I’m wondering if you’d be willing to do an fem human reader x Ken where the reader gets a bit sick, nothing too serious but Ken absolutely freaks out and thinks the reader is dying or sum (he learned about death from Stero Barbie. Also spiders. He’s terrified of both) and the reader thinks it’s a bit funny so she’s like “yeah I’m dying” but then he gives her the most terrified and sad kicked puppy look and she has to explain that it’s just a cold lol

Awh thank you!! Im glad that ppl still love my barbie movie stuff even though barbie summer has come and gone 💔

........

There were only two things that Ken feared after beginning his new life in the Real World:

One is the mortality of humans, as Barbie told him all about how fragile their lives were and the two paths they were given: either growing old and dying peacefully in their beds, or some terrible occurrence cutting it short long before their time on this earth was up.

The second was spiders.

He especially hated the spiders.

You only recently discovered he had that fear after finding one of those 8-legged critters in your house--or more specifically in his room, where he came barreling out from as though he accidentally set something on fire.

At first, you thought he really did start a fire until he dragged you back into there, begging you to get rid of the "strange beast".

You had no clue what he could possibly be referring to....and then he pointed to the corner, where a little cellar spider sat completely unbothered, weaving its web.

In that moment, you realized you may have turned him arachnophobic, considering you did show him one insect-themed horror movie this past Halloween. He kept freaking out over it potentially growing horse-sized or injecting venom into his bloodstream when he was asleep.

But despite you assuring him neither of those things could happen (and insisting that the spider was more afraid of him), Ken refused to go into the room until it was gone.

You find it hard to fathom that this same doll who led an entire revolt, came to terms with his own identity crisis, and bravely made the transition to humanity....was totally inconsolable in the presence of a tiny bug.

Then again, maybe showing him that movie--and allowing Barbie to explain why arachnophobia was among the top fears humans had--was a huge mistake.

Regardless, you made it your mission to get rid of the critter.

Oddly enough Ken insisted that you didn't actually kill it, but you found you it sweet that he valued its life despite it scaring the shit out of him. So you contained it in a cup, putting a napkin underneath it before releasing it outside.

After that, you mentioned how most people usually killed spiders and other pests that invaded their home.

He looked wildly uncomfortable at that fact, before he began talking about some rather... concerning things: like if the spider knew how short its lifespan was, how easily it could have been crushed, if it feared death or if it was even aware of it at all-

Before he could derail and start rambling about death itself too much, you stopped him, asking if he was feeling alright.

And he went quiet for a moment, before smiling and giving you a kiss, reassuring you he felt better.

Yet even as he left the room, he still appeared awful tense.

It was that day where you worried that it's more than just spiders he feared..

.......

"Babe, what's wrong? Are you sick??"

"...unfortunately, but it's nothing serious. Just a stupid cold I caught at work." Sighing tiredly, you sat up in bed, seeing Ken walk into the room.

He looked nothing short of horrified at how drained and exhausted you sounded this morning. "A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I don't want you to catch anything, so I'm sorry...but no kisses today."

"Then..what about tomorrow?"

You just rolled your eyes, drinking some tea you made for yourself. "Maybe, but we'll see if I wake up."

Although it was meant to be a little joke, your foggy brain forgot how seriously the blond often took jokes, and he rushed to your bedside, kneeling down.

His eyes were wide as he took your hand. "If you wake up??? Are you dying??"

Putting down your mug, you sighed once more, trying to figure out a way to remedy this situation before you upset him too much. "No....I mean I just feel like I'm dying, but.." You paused, noticing the tears coming to his eyes. "Ken?"

Now that he was a lot closer, you could see the utterly terrified look on his face--as though you kicked a puppy right in front of him.

Yep, it was already much too late. He was upset.

"I-I know tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, but you have to get through this, [y/n]! Please..I can't lose you, too...not when you've done so much to help me." He was extremely close to crying, his lips trembling.

Your heart sunk as you placed a hand ober his own. "Oh honey, I was only kidding around when I say-"

"Why do humans joke about death so much? Don't they know y-you...you can't come back? That they have such short lives?? O-Or sure, some believe you can be reincarnated but that doesn't make it any-"

At this point, he was just blubbering nonsense, so you took him into your arms. And for a moment he fell silent, before burying his face into your chest, trying to calm himself down. "I-I'm sorry.."

"No, no..I'm sorry. You're right..I shouldn't be joking about death around you." Frowning slightly, you stroked his hair. "I promise I'm not dying. Not today, or tomorrow..not for a long, long time. This cold will pass and I'll feel better soon enough."

".....a-are these the irrepressible thoughts of death Barbie had?"

'Oh.'

It finally hit you.

He was going through the same thing she once did.

"Ken.." You had him sit up so you could see his face. Aside from it being a little red and his eyes puffy and watery, there were tear marks trailing down to the stubble that had formed along his jaw and chin. "Why didn't you tell me you were having those thoughts?"

Sniffling, he just shrugged. "I don't know. And... I don't know why I'm thinking them. Barbie could blame it on somebody who was playing with her, but...I can't. Because I'm not a doll anymore, I'm human....a-and...those were my thoughts alone." He shuddered, terrified at that realization. "I guess I just..didn't wanna scare you, b-but obviously it's too late for that..."

A small chuckle came from him, although it dissolved into a small sob as he wiped his eyes. "S-Sorry, I....I want these thoughts to just pass already."

"And they will." You nodded, squeezing his free hand reassuringly. "It looks like you're just experiencing them for the first time, and that's okay. They won't be all you think about. And you don't have to apologize for how you're feeling, as long as you're honest with me."

"Th-Thank you.." He sniffled. "I should be taking care of you, not the other way around. Do you need you anything? More tea? Meds? Anything at all?"

You smiled fondly, leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead. "You're all I need right now, sweetheart."

That response seemed to bring Ken's giddy old self back, as he smiled bashfully in return. He melted back into your arms when you wrapped them around him, and he listened to your heartbeat: the only assurance he needed that you were still living.

Eventually...those thoughts of death did pass him by, and he felt okay again.

[firstdivisiongirl]

hii can i get a male match up please for tokyo revengers :) im a she/her - sorry if theres quite a bit here D:

- i like animals especially red pandas and i also like bugs too. i also sometimes like to read both manga and actual books, i like any theme but when it comes to manga i either like shonen or stories like goodnight punpun/ a girl on the shore

im very enthusiastic towards music, i listen to any genre. i can go from heavy mental and rock, to goth, to something like lana del ray where i feel like i need to be in the rain with red wine, to calm/ smthin indie, sole crushing, and then scene. theres a whole lot more i could add. lemme also add in midwest emo.

- i cant exactly pinpoint what i dislike aside from the wind because it messes up with my hair, i swear if the wind was a solid id have it knocked down immediately. though I also tend to get annoyed by people that don't use common sense.

- my hobies incule art, i have a lot of sketchbooks and majority of my lessons are done by doodling and getting told off by my the teacher cause i dont pay attention, but i still carry on. i also like to make jewelry such as bracelets/neclases, their mainly beaded but their still cute to wear and i like to make bracelets for close people

- (just for extra info here →) im mentaly unstable and have severe attached issues as well as issues with family on every aspect. id like to get better, however i just end up going down a loop hole so i cant/dont which makes everything much harder than it needs to be.

- my energy gets drained QUICK so im mostly a listener rather than a speaker when it comes to social interactions, however i do have my days where i can be jumpy and almost euthoric and talk like my life depends on it with a lot of excitement

- also i can get sudden motivation that i end up reorganising my room, one day it'd look that then after 4 months itd look like this. i tend to do spontanious little things here and there when im in a good mood and that includes in dying/cutting my hair. also ive pierced myself 6x with thumb tacks and their all healed very nicely. i have 9 ear piercings in total.

- never was much of an academic person in school, but i tend to be smart outside of it and i find enjoyment in observing people and using my own thoughts rather than finding sources

- i wont call myself shy, maybe at first sure but as i get comfortable i can go all out and i dont mind in making the first move as long as i get the same energy back, otherwise if that energy isn't given then ill forget all about them.

- i can be extremely clingy when i want to be, i hold back in latching onto someone on a daily basis. i wanna hold someone's hand, be on their back like a bag, and just overall connect soles. im touch starved and overall I can be very affectionate physically, though I'm awful at using my words for affection.

Hello! There isn’t too much. It’s actually a good thing. That means it’s easier to pick because I know more about you. It makes the match more accurate. So let’s go!

You Got…

Izana Kurokawa!!!!!

Boy is all about loyalty and keeping those he loves around!! So you wanting to be clingy, is perfect!!!

He’s a leader so he would do all the talking for you

Very patient (we saw his like 8 year plan to take down Mikey lol) so if you are struggling with anything, he’s there for you.

Would play music for you on his guitar. I think indie rock probably.

Idk why but I also called him a human red panda. The reason his because he looks cute but is a menance like red pandas.

At home dates or concerts! I hope you like the matchup!!!

[omegamoo]

HI ive gained brajnrot from your oc from only the little bit ive heard of them. if youd be alright with it could you tell me iotas lore? /nf tho!! (also ive been drawing them based on art you reblogged a few days ago and ive been having a lot of fun :D they have such a cool design and aa) ((also also first ask from me hello hello wonderful mutual))

I GOT SO FAR THROUGH WRITING THIS ASK AND THEN TUMBLR DELETED IT. anyways hiiiiii beloved mutual welcome to my inbox! im literally so honored u got brainrot from my silly girly.... please feel free to share ur art if u feel so inclinced... i'd cry /pos

hope its okay im about to. infodump. im putting it under the cut. this is so long this is so much more than u asked for hopefully tgm doesn't kill me for explaining the plot. lol

alright. lets go again. iota is a part of a project called the whittled pantheon, which tells the story of eleven gods-ish and their experiences. its kinda broadly complicated and im only here to tell iota lore rn so if you want more general lore check the "whittled pantheon" tag link in my pinned!

okay so iota. pronouns she/it/moon although i largely default to she. oops. its the goddess of the wild - deepest darkest nights, moon and stars, the forests. uncivilized area. grass taller than ur head. wildflowers. u get the idea. she has a brother, agathodaemon, who's the god of the tamed (he's written by the lovely lovely tgm). iota is very introverted and prefers to spend most of her time in the woods with her conditionally immortal wolfpack. moon doesn't interact with humans and is. so very uncivilized please do not bring moon into the court room oh god

whittled pantheon itself as a story is split into essentially two parts - the old world, where the gods are born and spend the most time, and the new world, where the gods flee after the destruction of the old world. in the old world, iota's very reclusive. this is where you see it vibing with its pack and being a woods girly. she interacts mostly with agathodaemon, as well as statikos (god of beasts, written by tweewig) and palaemon (water god). she does interact with the other gods but like. infrequently. and never with humans.

so time goes on. agathodaemon builds a giant city on the coast and its destroying natural resources and iota goes okay this is no longer cool. she and palaemon get together and confront daemon and they're like hey buddy. stop. agathodaemon temporarily stops and then comes back, resulting in a massive falling out between daemon and iota. then, palaemon dies mysteriously, and his death starts the destruction of the world, starting with a flood that wipes out daemon's city. lol karma i guess.

the catalyst is what we've been calling the destruction of the world (the balance of the world is fucked up. water dries up, world shatters from inside out). the gods kinda collectively get together for once and go alright. oh shit. and Leave. but in the process they leave iota behind

iota now has to survive the literal destruction of her entire known world. moon is the only god left on the old world, and she's surrounded by humans who fundamentally make no sense to it and also need/want it to save them. but iota cannot save them because she is one god left alone. she tries, though. she meets lots of humans one of whom it becomes like. very good ambiguous 'besties' with. this is fortuna. she changes iota's entire perception of the world. but you know the world is dying and all of the humans die and iotas immortality is like. dripping down the drain and she cannot find a way back. but daemon comes to the rescue because even after everythign he loves her. the whole rescue bit has a whole Other set of worldbuilding lore and explanations that i will not get into here just know that its a thing. they make it back to the new world and start to Heal.

im not going to explain anything else because spoilers. but. i think all this is good to talk about. hopefully. or tgm will fucking kill me /j. but yeah. god. this was somuch more than you asked for.......... well enjoy anyways <3

[thesungod]

It's funny how Will was treated as being super narrow minded for being uncomfortable in the Death Dimension even though it was literally draining him and you know death is a difficult subject in general for people. Also how dare he ask how something grows without sun like Nico ffs can you be less mean

Nico has never before heard of the concept of people being scared of death, apparently.

Also, let’s be real, it’s not like Nico had this gushy love feelings about the Underworld before. I’m sure that he considers it a home and that he enjoys his own powers (he was never really shy to admit that lol, mr IM-THE-GHOST-KING) but he’s also had a problematic and difficult relationship with it to say the least, death is a large part of his own trauma (his whole entire family hello?) and he went to Tartarus which is like, the Underworld Deluxe Edition.

He doesn’t even seem to consider Tartarus that bad in this book, it just regards it as something that happened and it wasn’t nice but darkness is part of him emo tirade emo tirade.

I do believe it was maybe a bit exaggerated for Will to have this immediate, knee-jerk rejection to death when he’s a healer, and the only way to be a healer and not go crazy with guilt is to accept people die, but ig we could say being a child of Apollo means loving the sun and the light so much you just can’t go without (i did love this, i’ll be honest. anytime Will was like I miss the sun :(( I was like aw baby😭).

Nico’s occasional lack of compassion for the fact that Will was literally dying of sun withdrawal was weird, but the conflict was somewhat interesting and did cause me to look at Nico’s relationship with the Underworld differently and reflect on it. It just became too drawn out and repetitive. At one point I literally started highlighting pieces of dialogue and writing WE GET IT in the notes (i got the ebook).

[incorrect-dying-light-quotes]

Just saw your post from earlier and I’m just really curious what’s your opinion on Rais x Crane (as a “funny ship goes brrr” or fr whichever you prefer), have a nice day!

i do actually like it and it's probably my biggest "ship" but i cant really explain to you why. they have a very complicated thing going on between them and i find it entertaining/interesting. in my au theres actually some Things that happen on cranes end that leaves him fucked up after rais dies - mainly their final fight goes differently, rais isn't pushed off of the tower but instead is left there to bleed out by crane, and after crane has told the gre operatives to go eat nails he ends up sitting down next to rais, the most exhausted and mentally drained hes ever been in his life. then rais puts on a bit of a kicked puppy act because he actually feels afraid (since hes dying and his rabies induced adrenaline is wearing off) and he asks crane if he can hold his hand. crane, stupid idiot sympathetic sentimental crane, obliges. then, because he does that he has to actually feel his last breath. which fucks crane up. because he just very personally murdered someone. a person he very much hated, yes, but he got so used to having someone to hate that now there's this odd void. several days later as hes coming out of his dissociative stupor he's back at the garrison to scavenge for whats left of their supplies, he ends up in rais's personal room. which, since it was locked well, was a jackpot in terms of medical supplies. but crane spent a little too long in there and ended up sifting through boxes of old documents and he finds out that rais had a son, evidenced by several drawings and other papers, and crane pieces together that rais's brother isn't the only person to be killed in the outbreak. this makes crane spiral again into thoughts about how rais really was just another person broken by the circumstances and his sentimental ass just feels so bad LOL

but anyway after theyve both died and are in the afterlife (they dont really have an appealing afterlife in this world youre just a ghost wandering around a world you cant interact with forever) crane is reunited with all his friends! and he spends a long time with them and all is good, but out of curiosity he ends up tracking down rais's supposed son. since at this point rais has had a couple or a dozen (idk the timeline yet im horrid with timelines) years to just sit there and think, he's chilled out and isn't really mad at anyone anymore. so he has no problem letting crane meet his son. but crane finds iut that since he died in a traumatic manner, (shot in the head to keep him from turning) he's in... a bad state. this makes crane frequently return to check on him which means he and rais have a lot of time to interact. originally crane isnt a fan of having to see rais in the first place but he very very slowly begins to tolerate him and eventually (by "eventually" i mean over the span of several decades or something like that) befriend him

but also i do find it hilarious as a concept

[darlingpwease]

shh shshshsh– im happy you do like my writing tho :))) you sound like my friends like that, but it's pinching with them lol

Oh, well I guess we do all do different things for 'me' time. My brain usually shuts off when I do those things lol,, I'm glad that what you do is helps shut off ur brain for a bit :)) I do hope ur work isn't too stressful (I couldn't even forget it rn even if I tried 😒) was it really in yesterday's post?? The only thing I can think of that was somewhat smooth was the Yuuta addiction thing???? Idk–

(I feel like I've aged 10 years because of this haha :')) /hj I know that some of the group members wouldn't be pleased but I'm to drained to really care atm. Good news? We managed to do quite a lot yesterday and now we're just organizing everything. Bad news?? We're all super fucking exhausted and are still stressing that we have a very short amount of time for post. bunny face?? I do, but when you go around being too sweet, of course I get at least a few from you >:(( /t)

I slept in so I think thats a good thing, right?? Once I finish this I'm gonna sleep as much as I can.

...ah... WORM???

I do try to be flexible lol, but I really do like that!! I love when colors mix together well, but things such as earthy tones, nude tones, pastel ones, just soft and/or nature-like colors in general I guess?? are some of my favorites. But I really like different shades of them too,, I also like how they all can correlate to some things or match with things as well, I could go on lmao /neu What?? Of course not!! Do I have to reiterate what I said??? /ht

I can't tell which one would be worse <//333– probably the first one times a trillion well of course I'd stay with the box. I think dying in it would be unsightly tho

-panna cotta

ajshjs don't shush me!!! i'm in great sadness, fruitcake wrote to me again, ahahah, do I have to read and be touched again??? how awful :(((( ��🤨🤨 look at him, he looks as if he immediately switched from an anxious mood to a complacent one🤨 that is, it's not pinching with me??? I, I feel betrayed; I will try to follow their example!!! obviously, someone (ex. cocotta) react to the method of punishment more than to encouragement, which is very contrary to what the modern school of management says, you know? it's outrageous 3:<<< /t /hj

... you doing??? my brain calms down only when I don't allow anything to analyze or reflect,,,, If I have to communicate or think about myself, it's always making plans and calculating the best moves — especially if it's games or future... on the other hand, I think if you used your brain more, you would be more tired & would understand the principle of sleep, — and would be taller, — so your brain is more of a curse😔 /t /j [work in the sense of "brain activity", not in the sense of "somewhere where they get money or work experience" — I can still afford the life of a rake😋 not counting volunteering, donating blood, working with some documentation...] (I could say the same about our past messages, but given your forgetfulness, I'm afraid I have to make sure that you remember that you sent me a message yesterday🤨🤨🤨) ... wow, is that your social skills & hint recognition getting... better?😦😧😯😲 impossible...... /t /hj /pos

(apparently, now you're the senior sibling instead of me, huh? /t /j well... but this is the experience of working in a very short time. most deadlines at work will sound like "when did we have to do work?" "yesterday," so it's good if you get that kind of experience early, even if it's, um, not the best way to get it</3 just make sure you're not trying to go ahead of the engine and rest, okay? don't make me crawl out of the blanket to carry you there<//3 yes, a bunny face. when you look with frightened innocent eyes, as if you are trying to convince everyone around you with a more temperamental personality to "attack" you; I'm sure when you're nervous and scared, you make that face ://// /t /hj me? sweet? didn't you tell me I was a 'rotten crumb'? so fickle, so fickle~ don't blame me when we both know it's you too sweet<333 /t)

... does this mean that you will sleep 'a lot' or 'a little'??? because in your case, it has a lot of interpretations, even if I'm sure that this cocotta brain probably assumes "a lot" — I know how cunning you are, I can't let you slip like that ://///

you were caught by the tail of course!!! don't you remember how you agreed to become a worm~?<3333 /100% srs & 100% gen hehehe silly forgetful panna cotta >:3333 /t /j /nsrs

... peacemaker<///333 yes, yes, I realized that you are harmless and accept and love any color & shade, stop being so sweet</3 I myself am about to start caries from you</333 /t /j /nsrs pastel shades and gold are the best honestly but what about snails?🤨🤨🤨 what did you say? what won't you say when you have someone??? I can't trust your words — what if I kiss the already taken panna cotta??? I can't be an 'other crumb', I'd rather be not-kissed and lonely, but proud</33333 /t /j

because it's not one of them!!! I know you don't mind, hey, don't be shy<333 we haven't sorted out your clothes yet and the fact that people are naked under their clothes, so don't be so timid, we still have so much to discuss<3333 /t /j wrong. none of them. you didn't pass this test 3:<<< ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? why??? aren't my pocket and my hands better??? I'm going to recognize this as tyranny and insubordination, besides the fact that you've already shown how unfaithful you are!!! 3:<<<<<<

[dancedance-resolution]

up past my bedtime yadda yadda

in theory i am so incredibly in love with plants and i want my home to be overflowing with plants so i can just look at them and be with them all the time. i want to surround myself with plants bc they are beautiful and nature and also surrounding myself self with cultivated plants is so deeply human and i . in theory i want it so badly

but in reality i’m. beginning to think i can’t do this. i so easily get stressed out about my plants. i go on youtube and someone just discovered thrips on their plant and their other one needs repotting and this one’s got sunburn and now i’ve got heart palpitations about these issues that are not even mine. so maybe the solution is stop consuming plant content online? i don’t know

so there’s the anxiety and then there’s the money. now that i’m working it’s like. i see everything in hours. i want to buy some reeds for my cousin and myself but they cost 2.5 hours of work, and is it worth it? and with all the other things i need to be spending my money on instead, is it worth it? and also there’s the element of. it will never be enough. i will have my reeds and then i will want an anthurium. and then i will have my anthurium and then i will want a different type of anthurium. and so on and so forth until i’m out of space and i’m still unsatisfied

AND LIKE. PART OF THE REASON WHY IM FRUSTRATED IS THAT THESE ARE ME PROBLEMS. if i could get a hold on my anxiety and get a hold on my “never enough” feelings/inclinations, i could find a lot of joy in my plants. and so at what point do i have to resign and say ‘my anxious brain cannot handle having plants and that is okay. i am accepting the way my brain is.” or do i say “having plants is really fucking important to me so i am going to work on my anxious brain” and be idealistic and crash and burn.

i also wonder if i only like plants in theory. i would kill to have a trevesia palmata, even just a tiny guy in my room. but would i actually enjoy it? would i actually treasure that plant?

honestly the only plants that decidedly bring me joy right now are my oxalis and agnetha. carrie as well brings me joy but to a lesser degree. katrina is a bit stressful; my umbrella tree is neat i guess but doesn’t Spark joy; my desert rose gives me anxiety; my ikea ficus bonsai is neat i guess? but again doesn’t Spark joy . oh and mina gives me so much anxiety i’ve cried over her before lol.

and so like okay maybe the solution is . imagine giving them away. if i hadn’t paid any money for them, giving away mina would be sad but a relief in a way. like i wish i was able to love her but i can’t bc of my anxiety and maybe that’s okay. but then it’s like oh my god !!!!!! that’s $30 down the drain bc who wants to take on a horribly thrip infested dying ficus!!!! but then it’s also.

is the energy of this plant net positive or net negative. mina would be net negative bc the joy she brings me in her beauty is outweighed by the stress of her. agnetha is net positive, as is my oxalis (most of the time). umbrella tree and desert rose feel neutral; ficus triangularis feels slightly net negative. carrie is net negative at the moment but i’m so fucking hoping she will be net positive within a year or two.

HHHHHH. and so looking at that i feel like. the conclusion is i only like plants that are easy care. which sucks bc !!!!!! i am in love with some “hard” care plants lol . but like follow up. maybe this is part of the never satisfied/never enough mentality so maybe i need to accept that it’s only easy care plants for me . except gah the only reason agnetha and my oxalis are easy care is bc i’ve never had a pest scare with them, so even ostensibly easy plants could become hard and stressful very easily?????

i feel like my brain is so full of things and i feel so inadequate as a human even though logically i know i am not

i want to put mina by the dumpster but andrea will be mad at me

i hate that i need psych meds and i know it’s just bc i’m up too late but i want to self sabotage and cold turkey off them etc etc. except i know in reality i need a higher dose . i reeeeeeally need a higher dose. but on the petty side i don’t fucking want a higher dose lol bc it makes the gp worse and i miss having a sex drive so much, oh my god. i miss being able to ring the devils doorbell and not have it have to be a whole event. i miss having the desire to read and write porn. and like !!!!!!!!!!!! i suppose this is sort of related to the plant thing and since wellbutrin, the only theoretical alternative, fucks me up i just need to . accept that at least for this point in my life i have to accept that zoloft is more important than my sexuality or whatever (RAGE). INDONT KNOW. i feel like !!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO YOUNG AND I NEED TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT EVERYTHING AND THINKING AGOUT EVERYTHING. I WANT TO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT ALL LOL. I WAJT TO BE ABLE TO BUY A PLANT AND NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR MONTHS AND FEEL STRESSED FOR MONTHS AND ALSO I WOULD LIKE THE ABILITY TO HAVE CASUAL PRGASMS LIKE I USED TO. HUT IT ISNT A UTOPIS AND I HAVENTO ACCEPT THAT AND I HAVE TO . ACCEPT THAT AND LEARN HOW TO DIND CONTENTMENT AMONSGT IT . also. i wish i could talk to my humans about it????? like how am i supposed to tell my catholic anti sex mother i don’t want a higher dose bc i want to fucking whore myself out to sin. how am i (young) supposed to tell my 60somethingn year old male psychiatrist who never even brought up sexual side effects of meds (presumably bc i was still a minor when i started with him) that i can’t stand the fact that i need more zoloft bc i want to fuck myself and write about fucking and read about fucking and feel ‘i want to fuck them’ feelings again and then fuck myself about jt

i think. it would be very nice if i didn’t have clinical anxiety/depression/pmdd/ptsd/etc. other than the adhd autism i want a CLEAN SLATE. . and it would be very very nice if i didn’t have to take care of my fucking teeth. bc then i could be content and ring the devils doorbell and not have the anxiety of knowing i am personally responsible for the rot in my mouth . and also no more nightmares please. and ni more excessive constant guilt.

if you read this whyyyyyyyfhdichksgdi and also please forget everything you read! my brain is weird about writing things that can be Perceives bc validation or whatever? but i don’t Actually Want Them To Be Perceived I Think. i don’t know. it’s too late and i’m probably hungry too. that’s another thing - it would be nice to have a functioning interoceptive system. i want to be SELFISH&PETTY And for it to be okay

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

outsiders matchup pls?

i'm a girl, bisexual, and i'm a bit taller than average (5'7 and a half to be exact, lol) my natural hair color is brown but right now it's dyed this magenta color (?). i dye my hair a lot, and i've done colourful colors and black. i wear grungy styled clothing (graphic tees, crop tops, belts, cargos, mini skirts, etc.) and i wear dark makeup. I also have a nose ring and 3 stick n pokes on my arms.

a lot of people say that they're scared that i'm mean when they first see me cause of how i look but that i'm actually really nice once they've met me lol. i listen to a lot lana del rey, but my music varies. i really enjoy drawing and it's my fav hobby as well as watching movies. people say that im really empathetic and im like the therapist friend. im always there for people and i give people the benefit of the doubt (maybe a lil too much).

i'm originally from australia so i have an accent but i currently live in the US. i also really enjoy watching movies. my fav movies are the love witch, babylon, the virgin suicides, and (of course) the outsiders.

i can be really loud and also really quiet depending on the mood, setting, people i'm around, etc.

i struggle a lot with mental health issues so i'm often advocating for it and for helping people that struggle with it as well as i'm working to being a therapist for my career.

thank you!

Thank you for adding!! It really helps--

I ship you with...

Angela Shepherd

She'd be obsessed with your style. Would love that you change your hair up, she'd constantly be suggesting colors to you. Also, she'd pretty instantly tell you that you can borrow any of her clothes whenever with the not-so-subtle hope that it goes both ways.

Angela grew up with Tim and Curly and she has a mad attitude and resting bitch face. She would not for a second be put off by you looking mean. It would also probably be a good thing that you tend give people the benefit of the doubt, because she can be pretty hard to crack at first and definitely has some toxic tendencies. Nothing that she wouldn't be down to work on, but she needs someone that would let her work on it instead of expecting perfection. If she feels you're giving someone too much leeway then she'll tell it like it is and warn you when it seems like you're giving someone too much empathy. She just wouldn't want you to get hurt/drained by being there for someone that isn't putting the work in themselves. Absolutely understanding being there for people and that everyone deserves help, but not wanting it to be at your expense. She'd also absolutely be having a... little chat with the person to make sure they aren't taking advantage of you over it.

She'd think it's so cool how much you care about mental health. It's definitely a cause she can get behind, a lot of people that she knows (herself included) have dealt with mental illness, though there isn't much resource/help for that when The Outsiders takes place. While she's absolutely coped with it unhealthily before, she really does like learning about it and would help you with some advocacy. She'd also be really understanding of your own mental health and how it can effect your day-to-day.

She'd love that you have an accent, Angela would absolutely have you say things just to mimic you. Not at all in a teasing way, but in a genuinely interested in different ways that people talk kind of way.

Angela is pretty social, she's just about always really loud. When you two are out being loud together, it can be pretty chaotic fun. But if you aren't in the mood to talk then she'll be happy to take over the spotlight when you two are out, talking and intentionally keeping all of the attention off of you (only if that's what you want) for a while. She does know how to chill sometimes, and will sit near you and paint her nails in silence or while making casual conversation while you draw, or will watch movies with you.

Sorry I had to have you resend it!! I just *really* saw you with Angela when I first read it, but I didn't want to risk that when I didn't see a sexuality/preference.

[navy-leader]

Maikol post 2.0

More headcanons

Teen Michael

- He was very reckless so he gets injured a lot, also gets into a lot of fights

- He learned how to patch himself up from his mother. After she disappeared he's the one taking care of his sibling's injuries

- He is very tall even as a teen, he was the tallest amongst his friends

- Has bad acne, the type that grows on your neck, back and chest and pops easily

- He was 14 when the Bite of '83 happened

- He had to help around the house a lot after his mother lost most of her sight and especially after she disappeared

- He's witness to a lot of his family's worse sides (mostly his father lol) and that does things to a child's psyche. He tries to drive his siblings away from that

- He eats dirt

Security Guard

- His hair is his pride and joy and he mourns it every single day since he died

- He has gray hairs from stress (hes still fairly young around 19-23)

- Still has acne but its not as bad as when he was a teen

Ennard

- Lost all his hair, his nose and an ear

- After getting his organs scooped out his body crumpled in on itself and the only thing keeping him up was Ennard

- The blood in his body drained out eventually so he doesn't bleed anymore

- Michael was conked out the entire time (he DIED) Ennard was controlling him so he didnt feel anything nor remember anything

Pizzeria Simulator

- Wears a party hat for the irony (Ennard wore a party hat)

- He has a lot of holes in his body so he's usually covered in bandages and gauze or whatever

- His motor skills fucking died cause i guess dying fucks you up neurologically

- His sense of taste is gone and he cant feel pain anymore

- Large gashes on his cheek after puking out Ennard cause metal

- Wears a wig

- Some of his teeth got knocked out and his lips got ripped up

- He can't close his mouth properly anymore so he drools

- There's still pieces of Ennard inside him which he gained control over and that's how he moves without bones i guess

- He stitched up most of the gash in his torso but theres still a hole in his stomach because its too big and he might rip more skin (which he cant regenerate)

- After a few decades of being (un)dead he adopted a nihilistic view on life (fluctuates between positive nihilism and negative nihilism)

General HC's

- He is left handed

- He is much older than his younger siblings, being atleast 8 years older

- He has hereditary dark circles from his father. Worsened by age and lack of sleep

- He sits like L from Death Note (or similar to it ig)

- He can grin like his father and he usually uses it to creep people out. He doesn't like smiling like that after the incident though

- He's anemic

- His flight or fight response is freeze. That's why he didnt move when he was getting scooped, and why he just sits there like an idiot when the power goes out

- He's mixed cause his mother is mixed, but unfortunately the white genes are much stronger. He was raised not to wear shoes in the house

- He learned a bit of ballet when he was younger from his mother (who was a ballerina) but it never got anywhere and hes forgotten most of it by now

- Queer but im not sure what exactly and very closeted, never comes to terms with it. His parents werent homophobic or anything but they never shown outward support either, and his enviroment werent the most supportive so he tended to follow the crowd (being in the 70's-80's and all)

- He dies a virgin

[aquanova99]

Get Well Soon (Loki x Reader)

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

Summary: after a mission doesn’t go according to plan you aren’t feeling yourself. Loki is quick to try and take care of you but it isn’t easy on either of you

A/N: reader has scarlet witch powers to make this easy on me lol. Sorry I keep updating then disappearing I don’t know why I’m so drained all the time

A/N: thank you so much for taking the time to read this I hope you have an amazing day/night! As always requests are open and reblogs are super appreciated 🌻

Your head was pounding. You’d never felt so weak after a battle. You thought about swinging back by the medbay but that would involve talking to the others and about your injury being worse than you thought. You threw the covers back over yourself to try and stop the shivering.

 You heard the door opening but you were too weak to a. look and b. you weren’t sure you could kick anyone out if you tried. Did they even knock? Maybe. God, why do you feel like your freezing?

 “Y/n??”

 You heard a groan escape your lips. You definitely should go and get your injuries checked out. Everything was hurting. You were still fuzzy on who even came into your room. Apparently someone friendly. You felt the covers pull back just a bit and another wave of chills wracked your body.

 “Y?n!” Loki!? What is he doing in here? You did not want him to see you like this. You felt his hand press against your cheek. “Y/n, you feel like your on fire.”

 “Well… that’s probably not a good sign.” You croaked out, “considering I feel like I’m freezing to death.”

 “Come on you need to see the doctor.”

 “Yeah yeah… Not that I mind or anything but is there a reason you came in?”

 “Ah yes about that, I came in to warn you—”

 “Y/n come on its training day!” You heard from a distance

 Loki and you shared a look, “Got it.” You groaned, “Sorry if that came out harsh by the way.”

 “To be fair I did knock but when you didn’t respond I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

 “Yeah I guess I’m more out of it than I thought.”

 Your door flew open and Natasha stormed in, “What are you doing? Come on we got to go, training day? Ring a bell?”

 “Im not really—”

 “No come on, we’re going to be late.” She stepped forward to yank you out of bed but Loki stepped in front of you.

 “Shes not feeling well. She needs to go see the doctor.” He said sternly.

 “Nat please—"

 “Wasn’t asking you.”  She took another step forward.

 “I don’t think you understood me. Take another step and I will stop you. For that matter,” he took out his knives, “If she gets any worse I will personally make your life a living hell. She needs a doctor.”

 Nat shrugged, “Fine. You better be dying, y/n.” She looked over at you one last time and turned to leave. If you weren’t so sick you would have laughed. It wasn’t often Loki actually made any threats. He had to constantly prove he wasn’t a threat since the attack on New York so he mostly kept a low profile.

 “Impressive.” You told him, you heard him chuckle

 “Hardly, I’m surprised she didn’t try to fight me.” He looked over at you and his brows furrowed, “Y/n can you even make it to the doctor here?”

 “Yeah, thank you for that. I’ll get there later.” You wrapped the blankets around you again. Loki rolled his eyes and before you could question or protest, he scooped you up and began carrying you down to the medical area. You aren’t really sure who saw you or how long it took because you somehow fell asleep in the time it took you to get there. You were vaguely aware of when Dr. Cho came in the room.

 She started examining your wounds and using a scanner to diagnose anything else that might be wrong.

“Y/n were you feeling sick when you went to bed last night?”

 “I don’t remember I was just tired after getting stitched up and fell asleep right away.”

 “Well, your wounds are definitely infected. They weren’t cleaned properly, so I’ll have to do that first.”

 You grimaced at the thought of having to take the bandages off. You should have been more thorough but you weren’t the only who had gotten injured on the mission. Stupid explosion. You saw Loki grimace at the sight of your wound.

“Loki, you don’t have to stay. You did a lot by bringing me here.”

 “Please y/n, I’ve seen worse. I just don’t understand why you didn’t get seen last night. What even happened on this mission? Thor said you guys were taking care of a hydra base.”

 “We were, but there was an explosion and shrapnel was everywhere. A lot of us got hit…but well—” you sighed to compose yourself, “I’ve never been a fan of looking at my own blood so once everyone was on the jet I stitched myself up the best I could and went to help the others.”

 You saw lokis lips form a tight line. “Well, that would explain why everyone else seems perfectly fine. I will be letting the big guys know that they need to make sure you get checked out so this doesn’t happen again.” Cho laid you down on the bed to begin working on you.

 You hated lidocaine more than you hated pain so you opted against the numbing agent. You couldn’t help wince at the Doctor recleaning your wound. Loki was by your side in an instant. You were glad he had kept you company throughout this. The two of you had become close friends. Well, you were probably one of the only avengers willing to be his friend at all but you enjoyed his company. The two of you got very close, and as much as you had been harboring a crush for him you didn’t dare say anything to possibly push him away. If the relationship you had now deteriorated in any way, well you weren’t willing to risk losing that. It was rare to have someone you could completely trust and you didn’t want to lose his trust in you either.

 The next time you winced was when Cho had to sew you up. “Sorry Y/n this part isn’t going to be fun.”

 Loki surprised you by grabbing your hand. He began distracting you the best he could with one of his stories from Asgard. He told you about how he learned magic and showed you the fireworks he could create in his hands. You wished your magic matched his. You always argued about whos magic was more useful. You couldn’t cast illusions of any kind. Your power was more raw, you were powerful there was no denying it. But your power couldn’t always be controlled. It kept the other avengers on edge. Your powers were useful in different kinds of situations.

 After a while Dr. Cho helped you back after she had fully cleaned you up, “Okay, Y/n. Now all you need is a shot and you should feel better soon but take it easy for a little bit.” She didn’t wait for any protests and quickly gave you the antibiotics.

 “Uhm could I get a doctors note for that? I don’t want to get yelled at by Tony or Nat again.” That got a chuckle out of both of them.

 “Oh don’t worry Stark will be hearing plenty from me. Seriously take it easy.” She turned to Loki, “I’m leaving you in charge of her.”

 “Of course,” he replied, much too smugly for your taste. He grinned at you while you stuck your tongue out at him. When you were clear to leave Loki picked you up again without question and took you back to your room.

“Try and rest. I’ll be back in a bit.”

 As much as you wanted to protest you felt more exhausted than ever. And you still had a high fever. You nodded numbly and pulled the covers over yourself to fall asleep.

 You weren’t really sure how long you were out before Loki shook you awake.

“Y/n, you need to wake up. You haven’t eaten all day.”

 “Loki, you don’t need to baby me.”

 “By the way your voice is right now, I’m going to assume you haven’t drank much either.”

 “To be honest I don’t know if I can even keep anything down.”

 “Nonsense, you have to eat. I brought soup for you.”

 “Loki, you didn’t have to get me anything.” You slowly sat up.

 “Will you please not be so stubborn and eat this?”

 You couldn’t help smile, “Did you make this?”

 “I had help. Wanda and Vision are apparently the only other ones who have an idea of how to cook anything.” You both chuckled and he took a pause before asking, “how are you feeling?”

 “Still not great but not as out of it as this morning. Thank you by the way.”

 “For what?”

 “Just helping me out today, I appreciate you.”

 “I’d appreciate it if you ate.” He said as he nudged you

 You laugh, “Fine.” You slowly start to feel the slightest bit more relaxed as you finish the meal Loki had brought you. “Happy? I’m all done.”

 “I’ll be happy once you feel better and don’t look like death.”

 You grabbed your chest as if you were hurt, “I look that bad?” you laughed

 “Not anymore, you look beautiful. You really frightened me this morning.” You didn’t miss the compliment in there, you couldn’t help yourself.

 “You think I’m beautiful?” You asked quietly.

 “Its not obvious?”

 You rolled your eyes and weakly hit his arm, “If I did I wouldn’t have asked.”

 He sighed deeply, “Of course, I think you’re beautiful. You’re my y/n.”

 You hummed as you settled back into bed, “I like that.”

 “I’m glad, get some rest.” He stood to leave but you had enough strength to close the door before he left.

 “Sorry, you got up too quick. Can you stay with me? Just for a little while longer?”

 “As long as you want darling.”

Taglist: @adaydreamaway08 @artaxerxesthegreat @aunt-pipie @avyannadawn @imtoanonymousforyou @lacychick @minghao3o @quarthly @xcastawayherosx @volturiwolf @ajeff855 @user13cabs @nenchiro @vxidnik

[marimo-o]

ok so im making a long ass post about Abzu (the game) within the context of mesopotamian mythology because I'm insane. It's gonna be a doozy and likely incomprehensible so <3 below the cut it goes! There's gonna be TONS of spoilers for the game, and, like, I guess for the mesopotamian creation epic, so. Play Abzu if you haven't and if you wanna read the Enuma Elish that's also cool. Good for u

(a note from afterwards: it's long. like, REALLY fucking long, holy shit. if you actually want to read the whole thing, be. prepared or something idk take breaks! the last two paragraphs (i know they're walls of text pls bear with me) contain most of the important information. like, the final hurrah of my brain after working on this for multiple hours! So if u wanna save time and avoid some of the redundancy, just skip to those last two <3)

So "Abzu" referred to two things; the fresh water people got from underground aquifers (also as the void-sea which was underneath the Sumerian underworld, Kur), and the deity; he only appeared in the creation story, Enuma Elish, because a big part of that whole thing was that oh no! He dies! And that's also a thing I'm gonna touch on (sorry about the lack of accent marks in advance, it's not available on my current keyboard^ ^;)

I'm gonna start off with a brief tale of what happened with Abzu the deity, and then move onto how both the deity and the concept relate to the game!

So like I mentioned, Abzu the deity only really appears in the creation myth. The story goes that the Primordial Soup divided into two beings, with Abzu representing the freshwater and Tiamat being the saltwater. They were married, and together birthed some of the first formative gods! Some of these gods, jealous of Abzu's power convinced Tiamat to kill him (or, I thought it was started by Tiamat growing resentful of the younger gods, one of those). Either way, Abzu was killed, and Tiamat ended up lashing out, creating the first "dragons", or perhaps becoming one herself; with "poison instead of blood". She is killed by Marduk, the god of storms and the child of Enki (one of the first gods created by Abzu and Tiamat), and from her body the heavens and the earth are formed. Imagine getting killed by ur grandson lol cringe /j

Now! The waters itself! This also brings Enki into the equation, who kinda took over as god of the waters in place of his dead father. He's also the god of creation, intelligence, crafts, mischief, and more! Very important guy.

Abzu refers to both the groundwater reservoirs that people depended on for both accessible clean water and for some agricultural work, and also to the void-sea beneath the underworld, where it is said that Enki rests. He had a temple at Eridu, a now-ruined city, and I remember hearing somewhere that he lived in a temple in an underground aquifer? But I can't find wherever I read that anymore so don't take my word for it. Anyway, the basics of Enki as a deity is: child of Tiamat and Abzu, widely worshipped in his time, god of the waters, generally a cool and important dude.

And now. Finally. We move onto the game. My head hurts.

So, for a quick (post-writing: lol it's not quick) overview of the game; you play as a funny little diver, who woke up in the middle of the ocean and, as the player, are given no clues as to who or what you are. You explore through the ocean levels peacefully at first, and with the guidance of a scarred shark (painted as a bit of an antagonist at first with the audio cues) you make your way to wells at the bottom-center of each level that revitalize the space around them; as they progress, many levels start out as barren, empty landscapes that give you a foreboding, nervous feeling going in, before using an energy from yourself to rekindle the life. Huge coral growths, seaweed, and a myriad of ocean animals spring to life. The player character can also ride on the sides of the bigger ones! The game also puts a big stress on unity between yourself and the environment; there's not a whole lot you can physically interact with, but you can play with the animals there and, like I said before, ride on some of the larger animals. There are also "meditation spots", statues where you can sit and explore the wildlife from more of their point of view, able to follow them seamlessly and see what the different kinds of fish and such are called. It's a calming experience, and really the most interaction you get with some of the more timid animals, letting you still see them up close even if you can't get there as the player character.

The story of the game is told via writings on the walls, which you can light up and access by solving small puzzles regarding connecting reservoirs of glowing waters, similar to that of the almost cosmic area you go to between levels; one thing I read described it as a kind of "rebirth area", which I can definitely see hehe!

At the end of the game, you've held the shark in its dying moments, you've discovered a strange factory that builds the weird triangular prisms that deliver anything that touches them a shock, the little flashlight dudes that you've found over the levels, and little divers that uncannily resemble yourself, and you've seen yourself disassembled to your funny little mechanical skeleton, weak and slow as you try to walk on land, before you are rebirthed from the void-cosmic-water area once again, fully yourself. There's a wonderful ending sequence where you swim through all these rivers, bringing life with you as you go, with the shark once again by your side. The whole game, you saw no land when you poked your head above water, just miles and miles of water, but you've travelled far enough to reach a reservoir. You cut the chains to a central triangular prism, and it grows over with moss. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it, really, it feels like such a... grand gesture as you play through it. It feels personal.

Okay. Theory time. Finally, we're getting into the meat of it. Fucking hell.

So, imagine that you are this being. You're wandering an oceanic wonderland, observing and caring for what you need to, doing as any good little diver should. After a bit of poking around, you discover the start of the engravings on the walls; they tell the story of the people that were here before you, who built these temples and halls and used, or at least stored, the strange blue glowing "water" that you connect and move. It's a water of life, of sorts, one that they truly valued. You come to an impasse between areas, and this massive, scarred-up shark cuts in front of you. You're gonna stay hidden, that thing is terrifying! You try not to move. It doesn't spot you, or at least doesn't move to attack you. However, once it's safely out of view, you do follow it, and it leads you to a dark, desolate, empty chamber. This is wrong, you think to yourself. This isn't how it should be. There's a well, towards the bottom, and you approach it, taking... a fragment of light, from your chest, and imbuing that spark of life into the well. And, lo and behold, that intuition proved helpful, because the world around you springs back to life. Congratulations! You did it! And you continue to, as you work past puzzles and challenges and the appearance of these strange triangular mechanisms, that shock you when you get too close. These people worshipped a shark, as well, likely the same as the one you saw; the guide, now old and scarred, that brings you to where that spark is needed. Even later in the game, you see depictions of the triangular mechanisms, at first heralded as a positive, before these things are found to be the reason for this society's collapse. As if that wasn't perplexing enough, you see a depiction of a being that appears suspiciously similar to yourself, once again treated with reverence from the past civilization. In their hand is a ball of light, similar to the one shown when you revitalize the oceanic chambers. Well, that's certainly odd, you think to yourself. Perhaps this was a being that postponed the death of the civilization, or first allowed for those small chambers of life to exist in captivity instead of the open, natural landscapes you explored at the start. Regardless, it's now a relic of something long gone; but it still gives you something to think about. Later on, that strange coincidence of your similarities to that person are explained; you find a manufacturing plant, full of the vicious triangular mechanisms in each tight hallway, and right at the center of it all... multiple iterations of yourself, running down an assembly line, a spark not unlike what you saw before imbued into each of them. My, look at that; you've been responsible for part of this destruction all along, haven't you? Borne from that same ill that has been forcibly removing that spark from each of the places you've gone to. A bit inconsiderate of you, no? And yet... look at all the good you've done. You've rebirthed, revitalized, purified these ocean fragments, is that not enough? You are the keeper of these waters, regardless of the evil you had come from, despite the terrifying empty things may have reverted to. You, who trusted and followed the shark that seemed so scary at first. You, who followed it as it tried to attack a source of the evil, of the thing that was draining the oceans of their life. You, who held and comforted that shark as it lay dying, despite any fear you may have had. You, who attempted to traverse a minefield of those triangular machines, shocked over and over again and at the final moment, unable to make it to the finish line. You, who was rebirthed in full regardless by the oceans you'd cared for, by the void-sea you always returned to, to rest. You, who traversed a now-ruined citadel, temple, all of which had been flooded and had been dedicated to you. You, who brought life with you.

I hope you see what I'm getting at here. You're serving as a figure not unlike Enki, god and guardian of the waters. In the wake of Abzu, the avatar of the fresh waters, now confined to irrigation canals so as not to kill the younger gods, Tiamat lashes out. Her husband is dead, as far as she is concerned, and she goes to those younger gods to seek her revenge. The dragon, that which sucked the life from the seas and poisoned the waters. That which Marduk killed, to carve new life from. I would say that the shark is Marduk, even; given how the shark is the only one who is openly on the offense to those mechanisms, and who comes in at the endgame to finish them off, bringing new life with it. Even in how it all shapes up with the civilization before, in connection to the constructs; Tiamat was the mother of all in existence at that time. She was surely loved; but she turned hostile and violent. She could no longer be safely loved. And Abzu, both the glowing water we use to open doors and the light that we hold and the deep void-sea we enter between levels and father to all in existence, he was confined to small canals and reservoirs and put in a deep sleep so that he would not kill his own children. And by you, no less. Enki put him there. That is why you can use that water from the start; you lived in the Abzu, you came from it, and each time, that is where you return. That temple, now submerged and decrepit, is Eridu; the place where Enki was most worshipped. The other diver clones are the other gods, or perhaps the "dragons", now, that Tiamat had mothered. The smaller prisms definitely count in that "dragon" category; purely harmful beings that seek to destroy life. And in the end, indeed, you restore life; you and your son, upon killing Tiamat, return life to the world from her body. Perhaps you could not save those who once worshipped you, perhaps those structures will forever be in ruin. But there is no more danger, now; there is space to build and replenish. There is space to grow.

Fuck ok that was long as hell. Hi if u made it this far i love u. god fucking damn im never writing anything again after this. it took about as long as a full playthrough of the game, coincidentally!!

[rreyie]

snk/aot characters when being comforted 🥺

warnings: suggested violence/trauma, some “no regrets” spoilers, anime spoilers

characters: levi, eren, armin, reiner

a/n: yes i know i’m just doing the guys again but if it’s requested i’ll do the girls too!! this is all mainly just a lot of fluff lol. if there’s any other characters y’all want me to do then feel free to ask for the ask box is OPEN!

⚔️ LEVI ACKERMAN ⚔️

out of everyone on this list, levi needs a good old comforting the most.

he’s watched his friends and commanders die, and he doesn’t get too close to anyone in fear of him getting attached and then that person dying on him

you realize what he’s been through after hange gives you a quick talk on why levi is like how he is

you feel unimaginable sorrow for this poor man... he’s watched everyone he loved die, it only makes sense for him to act so shut out from the world

you walk right up to his office, and burst in the door without even asking

“hey brat, don’t you know how to knock-“

he’s cut off by you wrapping him in a giant bear hug, the first one he’s felt in decades.

he is disgusted at first, confused on what was happening, and attempted to wiggle away. but he soon realized that you weren’t letting go.

he started to like the unfamiliar sensation of the hug you had completely encased him in. he hugged you back, gently placing his hands on your back.

“oi... what’s up with this, y/n” he asked, and you attempted to pull away from the hug he had trapped you in

but NO you couldn’t move. this man would not let you go

“it’s a way of saying...i’m here to stay. and i’m not going to leave you. i’ll stay alive for you.”

you feel a bit of wetness on the crook of your neck, which is where levi rested his head on. you realized he had shed a tear.

“levi are you crying? are you ok-“ “NO NO IM N-NOT IM FINE”

his voice started to crack, and his tear turned into many, and he started to quietly sob.

you directed him to the small velvet sofa in his office, and let him lay on your lap and just let it all out :(

he BEGGED you not to tell anyone that he shed a couple tears

that day that you hugged him is still thought about by him... you even turned him into a cuddle addict

⚔️ EREN YEAGER ⚔️

he’s touch starved.

he’s too busy putting up his “manly” facade to even think about his own emotions

he wants to be there for you and the rest of the cadets, sometimes putting himself in physical danger so you could live

you were laying with him on his bed, looking through an old photo album you found in the basement, littered with faded pictures of grisha and zeke when they were younger

“i can’t believe that my father hid this from me my whole life”, he said. “why would he do this? why couldn’t he just let the world know?”

his anger towards his father was bitter, stronger now than ever

“and why... why did all this bad stuff have to happen to me?! i saw everyone die! i couldn’t do anything about it like the weak bastard i am!”

you saw a small tear splatter into a photo with diane, grisha and zeke

“eren, are you okay?” “yeah... just a little choked up but don’t worry about me!”

his cheeks began to look flushed, his eyes glistening

you knew eren didn’t really like physical contact that much because he wasn’t used to it, but your instinct to comfort him became too strong

you wrapped him in a tender hug, his eyes wide with shock.

he started to sob, his cries growing louder by the minute

he held you tighter than you held him, he really just wanted someone to hang on to

even though you two weren’t dating at the time, you pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, the kiss reminding eren of his mother all too much

his sobs were now the equivalent of how hard he cried when he saw hans get eaten alive

“hey...” you say with a soft tone in your voice, and you guide erens head to meet yours, your eyes making contact.

“you’re safe now, eren. i’m holding you, and i won’t let anything hurt you. you can let all the anger out now.”

he looked at you, his green eyes vibrant with distress. his face was red, multiple tears dripping down his face.

“and don’t ever, ever say that you’re weak again. you’re one of the strongest guys i’ve ever met. you’ve discovered a key to humanity’s victory! you’re a leading part in our battle!”

eren managed to grin a little bit, pulling you back in for a hug. you kiss his forehead again, eren greatful for your touch. he even managed to kiss you on your cheek, which made you blush at the sight :)

⚔️ ARMIN ARLERT ⚔️

okay... even though armin didn’t have a really bad childhood, the events he lived through with working with the scouts and cadets really put a toll on him

he’s a nervous wreck now

it was a night you two were sharing the same bed where you woke up to hear armin screaming bloody murder

you quickly turn over to check on the blonde boy, him shaking frantically, his cries loud.

“armin! are you okay? did anyone hurt you?”

he’s trembling so much he can’t even get a word out of his mouth

“armin you’re fine... see? it’s just me, you and this big ol bed of ours!”

armin finally managed to make sense of his words

“y-you’re alive? after being e-eaten by a titan?”

“armin what titan?” “the one you were just crushed by?”

you were puzzled and confused. “you had a bad dream, love. i’m alive and okay.”

his breathing starts to slow down and he just... wraps you in a giant hug, a gentle one tho

you hug him back, feeling his sobs quiet down and his tears start to dry

for the rest of the night, you two cuddle up and spoon, and no matter how hard you try to get up in the morning, he will NOT let you go

⚔️ REINER BRAUN ⚔️

poor guy has been through so much... between losing his best friends, seeing his home getting burned down by the eldians, trying to off himself, he’s been through the works

similar to eren hes so busy putting up that tough guy face that he abandons his own needs

you find him in his room during that one scene where he’s got a rifle in his mouth ready to end it all

“hey reiner pieck said that she needs you to sign these- uh what are you doing?”

he slowly turns to you, his eyes dull, hair messy, and slowly takes out the rifle and puts it on the ground

“i’m so done with this world, everything we’ve done isn’t getting us anywhere. i’m just holding you all back. i’ll make use of myself by making myself into titan fodder...”

you drop that important stack of papers at your feet and rush to hug this drained man

his face turns red, not knowing what exactly to do in this moment

he hugs you back extremely tightly- he’s like a giant teddy bear that craves affection

you press a little kiss to his cheek and if the hug didn’t make him red already...

“reiner, you have never been a burden to us and never will be. we need you to succeed...”

from this day on he expects a lot more hugs from you so BE PREPARED

maybe even the occasional kiss ;)

these were kind of sad to write but also v cute in some areas... anyway the ask box is open to leave suggestions for more posts!! love you all!!

[cloudywriter]

vanilla pudding cups - 2

~~~

A/N: hey guys, sorry i changed the name but i really hated the first one, it didn’t really fit. in a few chapters you’ll get the new title, but anyway i like it much better! im sorry if this chapter isn’t the best, i kinda pumped it out bc y’all were liking it & i like making people happy ya know, enjoy luvs

masterlist & AO3

~~~

Feyre woke up with a surprising amount of energy, usually she felt fatigued and spent most of her days lounging in her bed with earbuds in and a sketchbook laying in her lap. She decided she would use this new found energy to tape up her accumulating pile of various sketches she wanted up on her wall.

She threw on a pair of loose, grey sweatpants and white t-shirt, stained with her attempts at using charcoal, soon setting out on her voyage to acquire a ladder.

Surprisingly, it was an easy task. All she had to do was sweet talk the maintenance guy a little bit, throw in the whole I have cancer and she had a ladder leaning against her wall in no time. 

--

Rhys, however, had a less pleasant start to the day. Alis had let herself in that morning with a plate in one hand and the same clipboard in another. 

She informed him that unfortunately his day would consist mostly of testing and scans to determine just how bad it was. She left Rhysand to get ready and eat his breakfast of rubbery, bland tasting eggs and one of those nasty little plastic cups of mixed fruit. 

As the day went on, Rhys lost count of how many needles punctured his skin and how many cups of contrast solution he had to gulp for his scans.

Finally, he fell back into bed later in the evening feeling drained, though he had barely lifted a finger. But the mass amount of poking and prodding he endured only cemented in his mind that he was truly right back where he started a year ago. The realization was mind-numbing. 

He hadn’t even called Mor, Cassian, Az, or Amren to ask for their support. He didn’t feel like he had had the time to truly mourn the life that had become his over the last few months, the life he was losing. He needed a moment, when he got a moment he would let himself fall apart. For only a moment before he would have to put back on the mask of the Rhys his family had come to know. The Rhys that wasn’t afraid of death, the Rhys that still had faith that he could make it, that this new battle wasn’t a lost cause.

In truth, Rhysand was terrified of the idea of death, of leaving them behind. To think of the lives they would live without him was like a punch to the stomach, the kind that leaves you sprawled on the ground struggling to suck in air. 

Just as his mask began to crack, just as the tears began to prick his eyes, as the sinking feeling in his stomach intensified, and the air felt heavy, too thick to breathe properly, the faint sound of a violin captured his attention. It was a small tether keeping him anchored to reality and he felt the pull. 

Before he could fully comprehend what he was doing, he had slipped out of his door and was outside of another; the one that was undoubtedly the source of the violin. 

It felt as if he was watching himself in a dream as he pushed open the door. 

And there she was.

A nostalgic feeling as if he were reliving a fever dream took root. A girl was sitting atop a metal ladder. The setting sun sent light streaming in through the floor to ceiling window, illuminating her; her long, honey-colored hair was glowing gold. Her skin was pale, without any hint of a tan but her arms were dotted with faint freckles as if she had once spent all of her days basking in the sun. Strips of tape lined her fingers and she held the dispenser between her teeth, her free hand holding a piece of paper to the wall. 

Rhys found himself staring at her rather than making his presence known. The combined sound of soothing classic music emitting from a laptop on the bed and her sun-lit silhouette had him mesmerized. She honestly looked like an angel in the flesh, if angels wore sweat pants and oversized, charcoal stained t-shirts that is.

As soon as Rhys started to regain his wits a screech came from behind him. 

“FEYRE ARCHERON, GET DOWN FROM THERE!”

Rhys and the girl, Feyre, both spun to face Nurse Alis who stood in the threshold. 

He heard the ladder groan behind him, the patter of bare-feet on tile, and the warmth of a body came to rest next to him. 

His head pivoted to look at her to find she was already examining him herself. 

She looked him up and down then met his gaze. Her eyes were vivid, so blue with a ring of grey around the pupil and they were so full of life. The same soft freckles that decorated her arms danced across the bridge of her nose. Her left cheek had a smear of charcoal across it. A small smile came to her lips as their eyes meet. He thought she really was an angel.

“Feyre, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

She broke eye contact, “I’m hanging up some of my sketches.” 

“Using a ladder? Alone? You could fall and crack your head open! And I’m your assigned nurse! They’d blame me and then I’d have to scrap your brains off the floor while looking for a new job!” Alis cried, eyes wide. 

“I guess that sounds like a less than pleasant afternoon for you,” Feyre considered.

“Uh huh, less than pleasant. Where the hell did you even get a whole ladder?”

Feyre shrugged, “Tarquin, the maintenance guy, and I are pretty cool.”

Alis rolled her eyes. “You guilt-tripped him with the cancer card.”

“Works every time,” Feyre looked satisfied with herself. 

“Yeah, well, next time guilt him into supervising you too.”

As their short exchange came to a close, Alis’s face lit up, “I see you met our newest resident, Rhysand.”

Feyre gave me another glance. “If you count meeting as found him staring at me then sure.”

Rhysand felt his cheeks and neck heat as the embarrassment that that is literally what he did set in. 

“Sorry,” he began to sputter, “I-I heard the music and just ended up in here, I’m sorry, I swear I wasn’t trying to be a creep.”

Feyre gave him a playful smile and held out her hand.

Rhys hesitated only a moment before taking her smaller hand into his. 

Instead of usual, mundane introductions, Feyre ripped off the bandaid. 

“So, you’re dying too?”

Rhysand’s stomach didn’t drop as he heard the raw words, he felt weirdly at peace in her presence.

“That’s what they tell me.”

Alis cleared her throat, “I hate to interrupt this heart-warming exchange but I was actually here to grab Rhysand for a moment.” 

Feyre tore her gaze from Rhys. “Oh, okay,” her shoulders slumped a microscopic amount. 

Quickly, Rhysand found himself being led down the hallway, the calm aura dissipating. He wasn’t fully listening as Alis explained that they needed to draw a little more blood, his mind just kept wondering back to you know who.

He tried to focus his attention to his hands as he always did when getting blood drawn when he noticed: a smear of charcoal had been left across palm.

His lips tugged up at the corners ever so slightly. 

~~~

hope this is alright! kinda cliche but what are you gonna do? also leave a reply if you wanna be tagged in updates i think that’s a thing people do lol.

[soft-ris]

Hi! I'm not sure if u still have slots for CP but if so could I have one? my top 3 from hq are bokuto, iwaizumi + miya atsumu! im 5'5, she/her w long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white, green eyes + tan skin. I'm super bubbly, loud, naturally flirty + my love language is physical touch! I love working out and I'm a huge foodie. I'm stubborn + impulsive, luv rain/storms, coffee + pda. I ramble but I'm a gd listener, a night owl, v playful + luv teasing 1/2

im spontaneous, optimistic, passionate + ambitious! I'm empathetic + love comforting others! I'm emotional, confident, bold, giggly, energetic + observant! I'm also straight forward and try my best to be upfront about my feelings. I love autumn/winter, cooking + outdoors but also love cosy nights at home! I also really like protective people! Thank u sm in advance if theres still space <3 2/2

Cupid’s Pick for your match made in heaven is...

... Iwaizumi!!

...long dark brown hair w the front half of my right side dyed white.

All of them would find that super cool, like the unique style of it, their reactions would just vary.

Iwa would be wide eyed and go ‘wow’. He’d definitely stare, but in a good way because he’s 100% admiring the way you look with this style. There’s just no hiding that admiring look on his face, he can’t even if he tries tbh. He just thinks it’s so mf cool. Would subtly bask in the praises you get bc ‘hell yeah she’s fucking cool, that’s my girlfriend >:)’. Would compliment you for sure, simple and to the point, and you just know he means every word because his personality is like that.

Atsumu & Bo would be louder and more verbal & show-off-y. Lots of like ‘omfg this style is so cool?!?!?’. Would even go as far as saying ‘we matchBIXKJSANJC’ (especially Bo since the dyed colour is the same), since they have dyed hair themselves, and would also 100000% take pics and show them off to Osamu & Akaashi and their MSBY teammates and even post about u on their accounts bc they’re just so excited uwu

It’s also a given that they would change their wallpaper to u with this hairstyle ASAP uwu

I also really like protective people!

All of them are pretty protective in their own rights, I feel? The difference would be how they deal with the thing or person making you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

I feel like Iwa would have no qualms being a sort of shield between you and that problem. If someone’s bothering you, he would step in between u and the person/people and bring you away from them AFTER (respectfully) glaring at them and telling them they’re making things uncomfortable for everyone. He’s quite observant too, having dealt with Oikawa’s personality and habits for a lot of his life, so he would be able to tell when you need his protection and when you can handle yourself. Tbh even when you can handle yourself, he’ll already be inching towards you, wanting to be by your side just in case it turns ugly. And if it ever turns ugly (which is fucked up because why tf would anyone wanna fight Iwa when he’s packing all those muscles??), ya know he won’t be fucking around. He may be a respectful man, but that doesn’t mean he won’t twist the person’s arm with a little more force than necessary if they tried to do shit to u. After the mf’s taken care of, he’ll take you some place quiet and make sure you’re alright, feeling safe and comforted by treating you softer than usual. Will also bring you your favourite snacks to help you ease your nerves and end the night on a better note. Overall, 10/10 boyfriend because your comfort and safety means a lot to him uwu <3

Atsumu would probably veeeery publically embarrass them by calling them out, and you know his words cut deeeeeep. He’ll be keeping a hand on you throughout the day/night, that’s for sure, until you’re home again. Just that touch of his to make sure you’re by his side and doing alright.

Bo would probably get angry (whether in a cute pouty way or in an intense anger would depend on the situation), unintentionally call them out (which would be hella embarrassing for the other person bc god they made BOKUTO angry??), and then he would just start trying to make sure you’re okay. He’d start being really touchy like cupping your face, hugging you from all angles, & etc. He’ll bring you home asap if the situation calls for it or if you ask him to or if the person isn’t gone from the space, but would probably stay if you tell him it’s alright and you’re okay now.

I think the both of them are protective in their own rights, but something about Iwa being really perceptive and having that strength and reliability to his personality that would probably make you feel the safest (based on yours and his traits).

I love working out and I'm a huge foodie.

IWAIZUMI HAJIME, (27), ATHLETIC TRAINER. CHAMPION OF ARM WRESTLING, AND EVERY SPORT IMAGINABLE.

I don’t think I need to say more, it’s all right thereKSKSKSK

He’ll work out with you and become those perfect work out couple goals. 1000000000000000000% for sure. And he’s an athletic trainer, so he knows how to help you maximize your work out.

I can also see him eating a lot with you on your food trips. Sure, his diet is pretty balanced, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like to eat, and especially on cheat days he’ll happily indulge in the more ‘unhealthy’ foods with you.

I also don’t think he’ll be trying to control your diet, but maybe tell you stuff like ‘eat more veges/protein/etc.’ if you don’t eat properly. He cares for you and your health is important to him too. But if your diet is pretty good and balanced as is, then he’ll be a little more relaxed knowing you’re not surviving on only junk foods and sodas lol

I ramble but I'm a gd listener, a night owl, v playful + luv teasing.

GREAT because I can see Iwa appreciating very much that you’d listen to him talk on about his rough day, gush the monsters he finds super fucking cool (like Godzilla), rants about Oikawa being a shit head (again), and so on.

I can see him being a great listener too, always nodding along and taking in what you ramble to him. Giving comments and insights too if he can. And if he doesn’t have the capacity or energy for that (most probably bc work was draining or he isn’t having a good day), he’d tell you straight up (if you didn’t catch the physical clues he displays). Politely and to the point, without malice.

Oikawa is teasing and playful with him, so he’s practically built to handle it like a pro since childhoodKSKSKSK

But he won’t resort to violence with you ofc, just with Oikawa <3 depending on the nature of your teasing, he’d either roll his eyes and maybe bump your shoulder lightly (or some other light form of contact), or he’ll try to tease you back. I can also see him blushing and asking you to shut it if your teasing grants that kind of reaction if yk what I meanKSKSKS

The night owl bit, he understands, but would tell you sometimes to not mess up your schedule and to sleep earlier if you can because that’s just how he shows that he cares. If you point out that he sounds like a nagging mom, he’d pop a vein and tackle you (softly) and drag you to bed and be a little kid about it like ‘HA what can u do now that u can’t escape my arms?? Who’s a nagging mom now??’. Y’all would 100% end up in giggles UWUWUWUWUWU

I'm stubborn + impulsive, luv rain/storms, coffee + pda.

I can see Atsumu & Bo loving and basking in the PDA more than Iwa, because that shit makes him flustered so hard and he has to take a while to get used to having someone show him such bold displays of love. But I feel like Iwa would really grow to like it tho uwu

All 3 of them are kind of stubborn in their own way? If y’all disagree on something, I can see Bo & Iwa coming to a compromise with you easier than Atsumu.

Iwa would make you a cup of coffee just the way you like it every day when you wake up because it’s his actions with the littlest things that show you the loudest how much he loves you. He’s also great with holding you back on your more dangerous and rash and potentially harmful impulses, like the reliable figure that gives you good reasons and talks you out of reeeeaaally bad decisions, but he’s also a whole Gemini so he’ll indulge in your impulses with you more often than you think heh heh

I'm also straight forward and try my best to be upfront about my feelings.

That’s a great trait for all of the boys tbh, because all 3 of them needs someone like that due to their personalities.

Atsumu would understand that you’re not playing mind games and he wouldn’t then try to play it back or burst into flames. Bo would be thankful because he can just take your words as is. And that’s the same for Iwa too. While he’s observant and can probably read between the lines no problem, straight forwardness just makes things easier for him because he’s pretty straight forward too. And I feel that if he can count on you for that, then he’ll be probably allow himself to rely on you more.

If you praise them, they’ll know you mean it too and they’ll be real happy about it uwu

I'm empathetic + love comforting others!

Another great attribute for all 3 of them. Bo & Atsumu melts in a more obvious way (and in the moment) when you comfort them and when you empathize with them, but Iwa? It’s in the way he squeezes your hand right after, the look in his eyes are soft and so is his grateful smile. It’s in the way he hugs you later in bed, curving into you like a cat, arms secure around you, and he whispers a very tender ‘thank you’. It’s in the way he kisses you good morning the day after, hand on your cheek as if he’s holding the world in it, and he feels like he is. I’d say it’s more quiet with Iwa’s display of gratitude, but it’s just as loud as the other two, there’s no doubt about that.

I'm super bubbly, loud, naturally flirty + my love language is physical touch! I'm emotional, confident, bold, giggly, energetic + observant! I’m spontaneous, optimistic, passionate + ambitious!

Your outgoing and naturally flirty self would probably capture all 3 of their hearts, with Iwa putting up a little more fight than the rest (he doesn’t take it as him being special, but falls for your sweet words regardless bc he likes u so much).

Bo & Atsumu would satisfy your love language more, both looking like they’re very comfortable in showing you they love you in that way. Iwa might be a more muted than the 2, but if y’all are dating, he’d always have a hand on you somehow. Whether its holding your hand, a hand on your back, on your cheek, & etc. Like he just finds a way to always have contact with you, especially when he finds out your love language if physical touch. He’ll put in the effort, that’s for sure.

Atsumu might not do as well with your emotional trait? He doesn’t mince his words, and even if he tries to be softer with you, it’s not 100% that he’ll change that part of himself. He’ll try to comfort you, apologize and sooth your wounds if he hurts you bad, but it’s how he is with his words – blunt and (mainly) unfiltered. Iwa isn’t blunt, I’d say? He knows what to say and when to say it and how to say it, and he’s also caring, so I feel like he’d do very well with this trait of yours.

Being energetic meshes pretty well with Bo bc he’s pretty energetic himself. Iwa himself has a lot of energy, so he would most definitely keep up with your energy no problem.

Every other trait I can see doing well with Iwa. He’d admire it, and some would even push him further too by feeding off your traits too.