#long hair is violating all lab safety rules!

[pourablecat]

What if I also gave Cheery glasses.

[rheawritessometimes]

Albedo SFW Alphabet

{ Albedo x GN!Reader }

{ Summary } The entire SFW alphabet for Albedo.

{ Warnings } Physical Affection

{ Notes } I saw a post asking for the alphabets for Albedo and decided to write for it. I didn't get to the NSFW alphabet. This was a while ago and I couldn't find the post. Masterlist

{ Word Count } 1,303

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Albedo can be affectionate, but he’s not usually the one to initiate affection. As long as it doesn’t get in the way of his work, he’ll accept any affection that you give him. But one thing he always does is kiss you on the forehead before going off to work.

B = Beauty (What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?)

The mind of his s/o is what Albedo cares about the most. He’d like a partner who he could bounce ideas off of, not even necessarily ideas relating directly to alchemy. If they have an inquisitive nature, even better.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

As long as he’s not busy, Albedo doesn’t mind cuddling. Lay on him while he’s reading and he’ll start gently stroking your hair.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Albedo is definitely the type to settle down with someone, he’s not looking for a relationship if it’s not going to be long-term. He likes to keep everything tidy and he cleans quite regularly. Albedo doesn’t let things really pile up and become a mess, he does the dishes right after eating, dirty clothes go in the laundry basket instead of the floor, etc. As for cooking, Albedo can keep himself alive with his cooking. It’s not the best, but it’s very edible! He doesn’t cook anything very complicated, though.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Albedo wouldn’t end things screaming and yelling, he would just say things aren’t working out, whether it be falling out of love or your lives simply going in different directions.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Albedo won’t enter a relationship if he doesn’t think it could last long term. He probably doesn’t care much about marriage, he could stay with someone his whole life and never marry, but love them just the same. But he’s not opposed to marriage, if you want to get married. It would probably take him a few years with a person to be certain that things would work out well enough to get married.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Albedo is a gentle soul, he’d never want to harm his partner. He’s very honest but tries to be kind in the way he words things if he thinks it could hurt you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Albedo doesn’t mind hugs, they can be very comforting. He’s not often one to initiate them, but as long as he’s not doing anything he doesn’t refuse them. Even though he rarely initiates hugs, he holds his partner tighter than one would expect and sometimes he doesn’t want to let go.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Probably before the relationship even starts. Albedo would most likely wait until he’s certain he’s in love with someone and a confession from him could be him casually saying, “I’m in love with you.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Albedo has trust in his partner but, on occasion, he can get a bit jealous. For some reason, it irritates him the most if Kaeya flirts with his partner. But all he does is glare at the offending party.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Soft, slow, and sweet. Albedo wants to take the time to feel and cherish the moment. Albedo gives lots of forehead kisses, but he’s also fond of brushing a kiss against his partner’s knuckles. Give him a casual kiss on the cheek and watch him turn a little pink, and of course, everyone knows Albedo’s absolute favorite place to be kissed is the little star on his throat.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

If Albedo can handle Klee, he can handle any child. A very good babysitter who is especially good at keeping kids safe.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Albedo usually wakes up early. If his partner isn’t an early riser then he might be gone before they’re awake. He still kisses your forehead before he leaves. If you wake up with him, then he’d like to have breakfast with you. Breakfast for Albedo usually consists of two pieces of toast and orange juice, he does have to be at work at a certain time. On days Albedo doesn’t have to work, he sleeps in. He’s so reluctant to get out of bed and these are the times he just wants to cuddle with you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Albedo is in the habit of eating dinner quite late, so if his partner doesn’t mind eating late they might find themself eating or making dinner with him. He’ll often spend the time before bed sketching or reading, he likes to be productive most of the time. He’s in the habit of going to bed late, so he’ll tell you to go to bed without him. But if you refuse he might be willing to go to bed with you. Refuse to sleep without him so he comes to bed early and gets a healthy amount of sleep at night.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Albedo isn’t secretive, but he tends to reveal things slowly. It’s mostly just a matter of whether it comes up in conversation.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

A very patient man. Albedo tries not to let his emotions rule him and he’s very good at staying level-headed. Most likely, one would have to be intentionally trying to anger him to make him angry. He can get a little heated over serious lab safety violations.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

Albedo is excellent at retaining information, he may not remember everything but it would be pretty close.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Albedo’s most fond memory would probably be the confession. Whether it was from you or him. The moment he knew his feelings were reciprocated he was euphoric. Thinking about it makes his heart flutter.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Albedo isn’t particularly protective. Of course, he’ll step in if you’re in danger but he’s not the type to be with you at all times to be your bodyguard. If you’re afraid of bugs, he’ll protect you by capturing them and moving them outside. Albedo doesn’t really need any protection, but maybe sometimes you can protect him from himself by reminding him to sleep and not overwork himself.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Albedo cares a lot more than one might expect from him. A lot of people make the assumption that he wouldn’t care so much about anniversaries and little things in a relationship, assuming he doesn’t understand the point of them. In reality, Albedo is very thoughtful and makes a point of showing how much he cares. Every date he plans caters to his partner, he wants you to enjoy your time with him. In terms of gift-giving, he never wants to disappoint you. Especially for more special occasions, if he can’t find the perfect gift, he’ll invent it. In terms of the everyday effort he puts into the relationship, he does his best to make you feel loved. He worries his actions won’t be enough and I can imagine him keeping a checklist of affectionate gestures he should do daily early on in a relationship. 1. A good morning kiss. 2. Make breakfast. 3. Bring flowers home after work… It becomes easier and more natural as he gets used to giving you affection and gauging how much affection you want on a daily basis.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Albedo is very committed to his work, to the point where he may neglect his partner. Of course, he never means to but he doesn’t always realize just how much time he spends working.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Albedo isn’t terribly concerned with his looks, but he does like to dress nicely. Not bothered with the latest fashion trends or anything, usually just wants to look professional.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No. Albedo is not dependent on a romantic partner, he does fine on his own. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate you, though.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Albedo will use alchemy very casually to help with everyday tasks. Some of the things he does are really impressive and he’s so nonchalant about it. Honestly doesn’t see how special he is.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Anyone who dislikes Klee is seen as an enemy. How could anyone not like Klee? Someone who dislikes Klee may not exist, but if they do they’re Public Enemy No. 1.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Not sleeping. Albedo stays up late into the night working on experiments, looking over notes, analyzing data, reading journals, etc. He runs on four hours of sleep most of the time.

[danthectoman]

Home for the Holidays

This is my Christmas Truce 2019 gift for @enmitypark ! I had tons of fun writing this, so I hope you enjoy!!!

Read it on AO3!

The Fenton family has just arrived at Vlad’s Colorado retreat by RV at Jack’s insistence and had already hauled their belongings for the week-long trip into their rooms. Gathered in the living room, Vlad passes out four large gift baskets, each emblazoned with the person’s name on an oversized tag in his loopy script. Danny notices that his name has a green tint to it, and gives Vlad an inquisitive look, which is returned with a mischievous wink.

“Alright everyone, open your baskets!” Vlad said with a smile.

“Vlad it’s not Christmas yet!” Maddie argued before being shut down.

“My dear, what is in there will be needed for the rest of their stay. There is no need to object.”

Inside each basket was an assortment of gloves and hats in various styles to match each person’s taste, mixes for each person’s favorite hot drink, mugs, and ski goggles.

Danny's mug is black on the bottom half and white on the top, with a green-tinted NASA logo on both sides. "The logo glows in the dark, by the way," Vlad added. There’s hot cocoa and apple cider mixes tucked inside the mug. His goggles are white around the eyes with a black elastic band. The gloves and a hat are both black with green horizontal stripes down the center. Jazz’s items were all turquoise with black accents in a similar configuration to Danny's. Jack’s gifts held a black and orange color scheme, matching his signature jumpsuit. Maddie’s items were aquamarine, dotted with accents of black.

Everyone gave Vlad a hearty thank you for the gifts and Jack, of course, envelopes Vlad in a bone-crushing hug, lifting the smaller man off the ground. Before, Vlad would have yelled at him for such an act, but after making up with the family and being allowed to be a real godfather to the children, he's come to enjoy Jack's affection. After being placed back on the ground, Vlad lead his guests to the sitting room, the fireplace lit and the undecorated evergreen tree already on a stand in the corner.

“Where are the ornaments? And the decorations? I figured you’d have this whole place decorated to the nines already.” Jazz asks with a questioning look on her face.

“Well, I figured it would be fun if we all decorated the house together. This is Christmas after all, and simply hiring someone to do the decorating feels too impersonal for such an occasion." Vlad said with a genuine smile on his face. He's been smiling quite a lot lately. It was something new and entirely welcome.

“That’s right! So, let’s get a move on and start decorating already!! So, where’s the ghostly garland and tinsel?” Jack was so excited he could hardly wait. This time of the year always meant cookies and fudge, and he couldn’t get enough of those.

“Ah, ghostly garland? Do I even want to know what that is?” Vlad asked, an admonished look on his face.

“Sure ya do, Vladdie! It’s just like normal holiday garland, but dipped in ectoplasm! That way, it glows in the dark!” Jack explained with a smile on his face. If the man thought any of what he just described violated the millions of lab safety rules he learned in college, he didn’t show it.

“….Oh, no, that’s not part of the decorations. I have more… traditional decorations than that.” Vlad replied, wondering just what kind of Christmases the children had had. Perhaps this was a splendid idea after all.

“Oh darn. What about,” Jack began, hurriedly cut off by Maddie, a somewhat exasperated look on her face.

“Jack! Be patient, we just got here! At least let us all catch up and enjoy some time outside of the RV before we start working.” Maddie chided her excited husband. She may love the man, but he sure did like to act like a child when it came to Christmas.

Vlad stepped back and motioned to the large sitting area around the fire. Since the last time Danny and Maddie were here, two couches had been added, creating a semicircle around the fireplace. “Excellent idea, my dear. What would everyone like to drink?”

Everyone gave their drink orders and Vlad went to the kitchen to grab them. Everyone finds their spots on a couch; Maddie and Jack taking one couch, Jazz sitting on the other, and Danny taking a chair, assuming Vlad would take the one next to him. Vlad returned with everyone’s mugs balanced on a wooden serving tray and made a loop around the room, everyone grabbing their drinks. After returning the tray to its place, he sat down in the chair next to Danny. As the conversation picked up between the three adults, Danny couldn’t help but think back on how much the other halfa had changed since they met.

The two had formed an almost loving relationship in the past few months since the Pariah incident. Danny supposed that was just the kick in the ass the old fruitloop needed, since almost immediately after the horrible schemes to kill his father and seduce his mother stopped. He didn’t see hide nor hair of Vlad until Danny came home one day to find the man sitting on the couch with his parents, explaining almost everything and working through some of the misunderstandings the three had had for the last twenty years. It had been odd, to say the least, to see Vlad not only without his signature suit but without the bravado the man had exuded from their first meeting. It suited him, this vulnerable look, every expression genuine.

Shortly after that night, Vlad began visiting more often, at least two nights a week sometimes, just to visit and see what was going on in the family’s lives. At first, Danny was against the visits, still caught up in the way Vlad had treated him and thinking the two were still rivals. Then while Danny was on patrol one night, Skulker surprised him and hit him with a shock strong enough to knock him out. When Danny came to, he was laying on Vlad’s couch with a thin blanket over him, the man himself looking quite concerned over the boy. That night, the two had an actual, honest, and open conversation about everything. After that, Danny was more comfortable around the man and even allowed the older halfa to be his mentor.

Danny was pulled out of his thoughts as his father laughed particularly hard at a joke, probably told by Vlad. As everyone finished their drinks, Danny went around and collected the mugs, cleaning them quickly in the kitchen. When he returned, the boxes of decorations were being brought into the sitting room by Jack and Vlad as Jazz and Maddie took items out of the boxes and set knickknacks around the room. Danny jumped in with his sister and mother to set up a mini Christmas tree on a side table by the entrance to the room, delicately unboxing the tree and fluffing its green plastic branches.

Jazz began to decorate the large pine tree while Jack hammered nails into the mantle and hung the stockings, all of which were embroidered in each person’s name. Maddie was next to him on a stool setting up a village of ceramic snowmen, complete with little ceramic buildings and animals, on top of the mantle. Vlad set to work on untangling a new strand of Christmas lights that, despite just coming out of the box, managed to tangle themselves into a nest of wires. Vlad looked as if he has given up on humanity as a whole for creating those lights.

And so the night went on in peace, the family going from room to room decorating the cottage in Christmas cheer. One box from the pile had different types of holiday hats, including 5 Santa hats in varying sizes. Maddie grabbed the elf hat for herself, Jack simply took a Santa hat at his wife’s insistence, and Jazz took a headband with felt reindeer antlers on it. Danny rooted through the box and found the absolute perfect thing for Vlad; a pair of candy canes attached to a headband to look like antlers, bells attached to the curved ends so they jingled with every movement. Danny thought about taking a stereotypical Santa hat, but decided against it, going instead for a headband with foil presents attached to springs, also with bells on the end.

Vlad was currently rooting through a box in an attempt to find the tree topper he’d picked out for this occasion. Danny crept up behind Vlad as quietly as he could with several bells bouncing about at each movement and placed the candy cane headband on his head with a wild grin on his face. Vlad rolled his eyes and looked up at Danny, giving him an amused look through the hair now messily spread over his eyes. Falling back onto his haunches from his earlier position on his knees, Vlad gave a small laugh and commented, “Thank you, Little Badger, but I believe a headband is supposed to move the hair OUT of your eyes, not further into them.” An adjustment of his hairband so he could see later, Vlad resumed the search for the tree topper, a smile on his lips.

“Ah, here it is!” Vlad cheered as he finally found the topper, proudly displayed in its box. It was a giant silver snowflake, with what Danny sincerely hoped were large ruby rhinestones embedded in the center and emeralds embedded in each arm of the snowflake.

“Oh, it’s absolutely beautiful!” Maddie exclaimed, with a slight sparkle in her eyes. She had always loved Christmas so much when her father was alive and was ready to have a traditional Christmas this year.

“Jack, would you do the honors? After all, you are a guest here.” Vlad asked while standing up and removing the topper from its box.

“Aw, sure! Plus, I think I’m the only one who can reach the top without a ladder anyways!” Jack said with excitement laced in his voice and a shine in his eyes.

Jack reached up with both arms and attached the snowflake to the top of the nearly seven-foot-tall tree as carefully as the large man could. After the snowflake was secured and plugged into the light strands, Jack stepped back to admire everyone’s work. Vlad had tucked in the lights, Jazz added the garland, Maddie had strategically hooked the ornaments on the branches, and Danny had added the tinsel. The whole tree was gorgeous, even without the lights lit.

“Daniel, would you like to do the honors?” Vlad asked, raising the plugin for the lights in Danny’s direction.

           “Sure thing, Uncle Vlad," Danny said with a soft smile thrown the man's way as he approached and took the wire from his outstretched hand. Sure, that looked sappy and showed he had feelings, but it was the holidays! Danny was allowed to show some feelings.

           Danny bent down in front of the electrical socket and plugged the cord in, the tree casting an atmospheric kaleidoscope of colors across the room. He stood back up and joined the others in staring at the magnificent tree they had put together, a sense of accomplishment filling the room. Jack threw an arm over Maddie’s shoulder and looked down at her as if she was an angel and brought her into his side. Maddie shifted to wrap an arm around his waist and place a hand on his chest. Jazz placed her left arm over her brother’s shoulder and rested her right hand on his other shoulder, placing her forehead on the side of his head in the kind of hug only siblings can give.

           Vlad sat back and watched the family interact with each other, showing affection earnestly, and was still not entirely sure where he fits in in this dynamic. This was the first Christmas he had spent with people that were not related to his business, after all. Before he could get too deep into this line of thinking, there was a pair of arms wrapped around his midsection and a head of fluffy black hair pressed against his chest. A longer pair of arms, a little above the first set, joined them. A taller set wrapped around his arms and chest, gluing his arms to his sides. Finally, a pair of arms came from above and lifted the group into the air, laughter escaping everyone as they had the life squeezed out of them in a loving embrace.

The group stayed locked in a hug for a long time, simply enjoying the moment, antlers and hats and springs lightly bumping into each other as the soft jingles of bells wafted through the air. As everyone separated, they were filled with love. The feeling floated through the air and mingled with the light scent of cinnamon coming from some pinecones sitting in a glass bowl on the coffee table.

This moment is what Christmas was supposed to be for the Fenton family, which now included one billionaire with a reformed heart of gold. Not the fighting over theories of Santa that usually come about this time of year, or the hyper-focus on ghostly happenings, or any of the other things the two parents dis that detracted from the holiday cheer for their children. A moment of unrestrained happiness for everyone in the room.

“This has been fun and all, Vladdy, but what’s for dinner?” Jack asked with a sheepish look.

With a laugh, Vlad answered, “There’s a stew in the Crockpot that I prepared before you all arrived. It should be ready by now.”

“Great! Let’s get a move on! All this holiday cheer has me starving!” Jack yelled, already charging for the kitchen and the gold and green Packers crockpot sitting on the granite countertop.

Maddie followed her husband into the kitchen with a soft and loving smile, leaving Vlad and the children standing next to the tree. With a gesture of his arm towards the kitchen, Vlad told the children, “Go on, I have to go last anyways since I'm the chef.”

“Thanks for all this, Vlad. This is just what we needed.” Jazz said with a laugh and a hug. “I better go before dad eats it all.” She entered the kitchen and took a bowl from her mother.

Vlad smirked down at Danny and nodded his head in the direction of the kitchen. “Better hurry, Little Badger. You’ve had a long day.” The two entered the kitchen as everyone else filed out and grabbed their bowls of stew.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully, with everyone piled around the fireplace in their pajamas. Holiday movies played on the television on a lower volume, stories of snowmen and reindeer and Santa interspersed with advertisements. Outside the window, snow fell lightly and piled into small drifts in the pale moonlight. An owl hooted in the distance. The stars above twinkled unobserved, and the night was calm.

The next morning, Christmas morning, Vlad awoke to the smell of coffee wafting into his room. He simply laid in bed for a few more minutes, knowing he was going to have a long day and wanting this moment to last forever. Brilliant white light reflected through the red curtains, showing there was a good snowfall last night. Vlad had hoped that would happen so there would be fresh powder on the slopes of the hills around the cabin for everyone to enjoy.

With a long stretch and a yawn, Vlad carded his hands through his long silver locks, straightening some of the crimped hair around his crown. He should probably brush it out before he leaves his room, but he’s sure it won’t hurt if he just threw his hair into a quick bun. Vlad rose from his bed and stretched once more, made his bed, and slipped a pair of house shoes on as he prepared to face the day. Straightening his shirt and pants, he follows the rich aroma of coffee to the kitchen, where Maddie, Jack, and Jazz were already fixing their cups with sugar and creamer.

A chorus of ‘morning’s’ met him at the doorway, which he returned. Out the kitchen window, his suspicions of snow were confirmed. It looked like there may have been six inches or so of snow, based on the covering, perfect for a good day of skiing and snowboarding. Grabbing his mug out of the cupboard, Vlad began making his coffee as the others went to the sitting area. Jazz set her cup down and walked to the tree, plugging it in and opening the curtains on a set of windows to give a full view of the surrounding landscape.

The entire scene was comforting to Vlad, who was so used to this cabin being empty save for himself and Maddie, his cat. Setting himself down in the chair he sat in last night, he couldn’t help but try to memorize every sensation he felt in this moment, focusing on the fuzziness and softness rising from his chest. Vlad was glad he was a better man than he was a year ago, but he also knew just how slippery of a slope he was on. One wrong move and all this comfort would be lost.

“So, what’s on the agenda today, Vladdy? Got something big planned for us, aside from opening presents and making dinner?” Jack asked with a yawn behind his coffee cup.

“Well, I was thinking we could all go skiing this morning. That’s why I placed a pair of goggles in each of your bags, after all. It would give us a chance to go outside for a while, and the fresh snow will make for some amazing skiing. Next, we could make up the ham in the fridge and some sides, then open the presents” Vlad explained as he cradled the warm cup in his hands.

“Oh, that sounds great! That doesn’t give us very much time to get everything done, though. Maybe we could push the skiing back a day, just to make extra time for cooking. After all, Christmas dinner is the last big meal of the year.” Jack said.

“Besides, we don’t even have skis.” Maddie pointed out.

Vlad waved his hand and explained, “Firstly, that does sound a bit better. I honestly forget how long it takes to cook a full dinner. Secondly, don’t worry about the ski situation. I’ve already bought everyone both a pair of skis and a snowboard. Everyone can choose what they want to use.” The one drawback to having a kitchen crew is that when you're without them you forget that cooking could take a long time.

"That's very kind, Vlad. Where will we be skiing? Do you own a resort around here or something?” Jazz asked in earnest. She just knew she was going to tear it up on a snowboard.

Vlad barked out a chuckle and replied, “No, I do not. Though, I suppose since I own a large expanse of the woods around here and have certain hills outfitted with miniature ski lifts, I may as well own a ski resort. There’s also a large pond not far from one such hill. If you would like to ice skate, it is open to you all. It should be fully frozen by now.”

“Oh, that should be fun! I’ve never ice skated before!” Jazz exclaimed. “I just hope I can keep my balance.” Jazz said with a nervous laugh.

“I’m sure ol’ Vlad could teach you! He was an amazing ice skater back in college! Practically had the ladies in line to learn from him!” Jack boomed with a hearty wink in the direction of his old college friend.

“Jack, you know just as well as I do that you’re exaggerating. Rest assured, we were unpopular enough that nobody waited in line for us, or even thought to make a line, for that matter.” Vlad said in a voice that sounded too much like his college whine for comfort. “Sure, I was pretty good, but it HAS been twenty years. I highly doubt that I have enough leg strength to successfully do what I did back then.” Vlad explained with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh, I know you can do it, Uncle Vlad! Please, could you teach me? It’d mean a lot!” Jazz asked, making puppy dog eyes at the man in hopes he would buy it. She didn’t think she would do good. At all. But she has always wanted to try, so why not?

With a sigh, Vlad answered “Alright, fine, I’ll do it. It looks like I’ll have to hunt out my pair of skates, though. I haven’t seen them in years, so I have no idea what kind of condition they’re even in.” The next day was going to be full too, it seemed.

“Thank you so much!” Jazz exclaimed as she rose from her seated position on the couch. “Would you like any more coffee?” she asked Vlad as she held a hand out for his mug.

“No, but thank you for the offer, Jasmine. I want to make sure Daniel can have as much as he wants as well.” Vlad answered as he handed the mug over.

While Jazz is in the kitchen putting the mugs down, she threw a good morning in Danny’s direction. The boy’s hair looked as if he had just woken up and ran his hands through it, sticking up at odd angles. He still had some dark bags under his eyes, but they seemed lighter today since he was finally getting some sleep on this vacation from Amity Park. No ghosts had messed with him so far, and he almost wanted to live here with the billionaire on that fact alone. He contemplated this as he picked out his black and white mug from the drainboard and shoveled in an obscene amount of sugar, followed by a flood of peppermint-scented caffeine.

Walking into the living room, Danny curled up in his chair and yawned, still not awake. “Good morning, Daniel. You look well-rested. Finally have a good night’s sleep, I assume?” Vlad asks with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. For once the boy didn’t look half dead, and Vlad was overjoyed to see his godson look that content.

“Mornin’ Fruitloop. I slept almost as good as a dead man, honestly.” Danny replied, a small and tired smile on his face. The only reply Danny received from the billionaire was a deadpan expression of earnest disbelief at his antics.

“Guess what, son? Today we’re all going to pile into the kitchen and cook, just like a real family!” Jack exclaimed, a smile on his face.

“Really? What’re we having? We don’t usually cook on Christmas, aside from warming up some ham and making those bagged potatoes.” Danny was almost scared. His mom wasn’t the most amazing cook, and don’t even get him STARTED on dad. It took Jazz pulling dad aside to make him realize that boiling frozen crinkle-cut French fries and mashing them wasn’t the same thing as mashed potatoes. Just the memory sent a shiver down the boy’s spine.

“Oh, we’ll be having a honey-baked ham, sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, and some desserts. All of which we’ll be preparing today.” Vlad explained, mentally taking stock of what needed to go into the oven at what time, the ham being the first dish since it took so long to cook. “Dinner should be done around four or five, depending on cooking times.”

“And we already made up the Fenton Fudge this morning while the coffee was making. I probably should have prepared it last night, but it slipped my mind. It should be hardened enough by tonight, though.” Maddie explained as she rose. “So, should we get this cooking show on the road? We’re burning daylight just sitting here talking about making dinner.”

“I suppose we should. I did get a fairly large ham this year, and it may take a while to cook. Thankfully, it shouldn’t take long to prepare.” Vlad said as he rose from his seat, Jack copying his movements.

“That’s great! While you all do that, I’ll bring the rest of the presents inside from the RV and wrap a few more. Jazz, honey, want to help? Then Danny-boy can take the time to wake up.” Jack asked his daughter with a smile on his face.

“Coming dad! I still have a few I need to wrap up too!” Jazz said as she stood and followed her dad upstairs to get her coat.

Vlad and Maddie walked into the kitchen, chatting about their favorite holiday recipes while Danny took his time drinking his coffee, knowing today was going to be a great day, despite his previous dislike of the holiday.

The rest of the day past in a blur for the family of five as dinner was cooked, gifts were wrapped, and Christmas tunes gently echoed through the house. Occasionally, the radio would belt out a crowd favorite and everyone would sing, Danny’s voice cracking horribly as he tried to hit the high notes of “All I Want for Christmas is You.” Another time, Danny and Vlad teamed up to echo the lyrics of “Deck the Halls,” followed by Jack and Maddie performing a heartfelt duet of “Silver Bells” while they mashed the sweet potatoes and covered them in marshmallows. Jazz, not one to sing in front of others, even found the confidence to sing along with Wham! to “Last Christmas” for an impressive solo act, complete with a can opener microphone.

As the last of the dishes were finished and placed on the dinner table, the group sighed in relief. After hours, and a few burns, the meal was complete. The ham had a perfect brown glaze and delicious pink meat, perfectly moist. The marshmallows were a golden brown, and the mashed potatoes were white and fluffy. The smells that rose from the table were divine, and nobody could wait to dig in.

“What are we waiting on, let’s eat! I’m starved!” Jack exclaimed as he reached for a serving of mashed potatoes.

“You just read my mind, dad.” Danny laughed as he picked a piece of ham from his place on Vlad’s left. Maddie and Jack sat on the other side of the table, and Jazz was seated on her mother’s left side.

With that, everyone dug in, passing dishes around the rectangular dining table and eating their fill. Stories of family holidays were exchanged among the three adults as the children sat back and listened, laughing at times and giving their input at the end of each story.

Vlad shared stories of his childhood, of days spent playing on the family farm chasing chickens and running through cornfields without a care in the world. Danny never pinned Vlad as a farm kid from southern Wisconsin, but clearly, looks can be deceiving, especially those from a man who painstakingly crafted his professional appearance out of spite. Jack shared similar stories of caring for his parents’ cows on the dairy farm he grew up at. It was all the same stories that everyone at the table had heard a hundred times over the years, but each time was said just a bit differently. Maddie loved to talk about her and Alicia’s childhood as well, rambling about roaming the dirt roads in their home town on cool fall nights.

After dinner and a quick interlude to clean up and put the leftovers in the icebox, the family gathered in the family room once again. This time, Maddie and Jack sat on one couch, while Jazz and Danny occupied the other. Vlad moved one of the armchairs to Jack’s side of the couch and placed the other against a wall, which was immediately filled by Maddie the Cat. As was tradition, Danny and Jazz, being the youngest, handed presents out, each person’s piles stacked high with colorful boxes, bags, and misshapen lumps that definitely held clothing.

“3…2…1… Have at it!” Maddie shouted, throwing her hands into the air.

After a moment’s hesitation, Danny and Jack tore into the presents in unison with little regard to saving the shiny gift wrap. Danny received the telescope he’s been wanting for months, a Meade Polaris 130 EQ Reflector Telescope, and a tapestry that listed the different constellations with each individual star meticulously labeled. Those two alone were the best gifts he could have asked for. He also got the expected shirts, pants, and socks, along with a few new journals with stars on the covers.

Jack received items that mainly revolved around ghost hunting and science, like the pajama set printed with a cartoon version of Slimer from Ghostbusters. Since he worked almost constantly on the engineering side of their business, he was given a new set of wrenches and pliers, having lost many of them in the portal. He unwrapped a few sets of socks and a new jumpsuit, too.

Maddie, contrary to the boys’ style of unwrapping, carefully removed the tape off each metallic fold in her gift wrap and refolded the paper to use again. Her boxes contained a peppermint and cinnamon bath set and a beginner’s crochet set intended to help her achieve her goal of relaxing more in the new year. There was a colorful box of glitter pens and a journal wrapped in ribbons in her pile, as well as a new jumpsuit from her husband.

Jazz wasn’t as careful in her unwrapping as her mother, but she took her time opening each present. One package contained a large empty scrapbook with white paper, and another had a sticker set, colorful pens, and other little additions one would need to start scrapbooking. There were also two psychology-related books that Vlad had helped Jack pick out, one full of thought experiments and the other a textbook on teen and young adult mindsets for therapists-in-training. There were also a few new scarves, sweaters, and jeans.

Last but not least, Vlad opened his gifts slowly, treasuring the feeling of community and love he felt with his new family. He received a new red tie and handkerchief with some square cufflinks. In a bag was a collection of classic horror novels, which Vlad considered his guilty pleasure. He also received a box filled with yellow, wrinkled pages that held the writings of his old D&D campaign from back in college. Jack and Maddie seemed eager to start a new campaign with him, as they missed playing, and Vlad agreed immediately.

Finally, in a big square box, labeled from Danny, there was a black square scrapbook with an embossed gold Green Bay Packers logo on the front. Vlad didn’t even know the boy knew how to scrapbook. Upon opening the front cover, Vlad found a selfie Danny took the first time they had a real outing together. The two had gone out for coffee and had ended up going to the local observatory to watch one of their star tours. They had walked through the museum, and come to a replica cockpit for the Apollo 11 space shuttle. Somehow, Daniel convinced him to climb into the small seat with him and had taken a few photos, the last of which Vlad had finally smiled in, knees shoved into his chest and a raised eyebrow looking into the lens. Vlad decided to look through that later, almost afraid of what might be in there.

After all the presents were opened, Maddie collected the shredded paper and piled it into trash bags. As the night wound down, everyone looked through their presents and removed them from their packing, then changed into their new pajamas.

Jazz settled in with a book and Maddie began to write about the day in her new journal. Danny sketched some animals into a journal with the NASA logo on the front in metallic ink. Jack looked at his new tools and started planning new gadgets, making small sketches in his idea book. Vlad was focused on sorting out all the old papers from their many college campaigns and organizing them based on the time they happened.

The house was calm and warm, and all was as it should be on Christmas day.

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @snazzysterek!

I hope you enjoy this!

Read on AO3

*****

ready to start

“Goddammit,” Stiles said, and kicked back on his wheelie chair, banging into the wall of his shared office.

“What,” Isaac said, not even bothering to lift his head up from where he had it cradled on his arms, as he clicked through the latest issue of PNAS.

“R is not cooperating and I just need to get this analysis done before I can go home for the weekend,” Stiles whined, turning his chair around and poking Isaac’s head. “I need your R skills, man, help me out.”

“It’s 4:45 on a Friday,” Isaac said, shaking his head and dislodging Stiles’ hand. “My brain’s already offline. Why don’t you go get a drink and start the weekend early?”

“Ugh, but I just want to get this done,” Stiles said, and stared at his computer, willing R to just automatically glean what he wanted to do and put pretty graphs on his screen. “Finstock’s gonna kill me if I tell him that I’m still analyzing my data for the third week in a row.”

“Finstock’s out next week, remember? He’s going to that conference in England.”

Stiles…had completely forgotten.

“I love you, Isaac,” he said, patting Isaac’s curls even as Isaac snapped at his fingers like an overgrown puppy, and speedwalked out of the office, heading over to the shared cold room on the other side of the floor.

Technically, the cold room was only supposed to hold actual biological samples. Practically, however, it also held a stash of various beers and ciders and other drinks that was routinely restocked by the grad students and side-eyed by the undergrads. There was also a protocol in place for whenever Environmental Health and Safety decided to pop in for a surprise visit – the beer bottles would go in the drawers next to Isaac’s desk, the ciders in Stiles’ drawers, and the beer cans in Harley’s desk in the office she shared with Erica down the hall. So far, it had never failed them. The only time they’d gotten a warning from EHS was when someone (read: Isaac) had left a half-full can of beer on the very back of one of the shelves, which had started collecting some unknown mold, and no one had wanted to touch it so it had stayed there, growing more and more sentient with each passing day until EHS made them take it out. A pity, because Harley had been ready to take it away and figure out what species it actually was.

The point was, there were drinks in the cold room, and they were good. Perfect way to start off a Friday evening, or alternatively, drown your sorrows when your paper got rejected for the nth time. Not that Stiles was speaking from personal experience or anything!

Anyway, Stiles was really looking forward to trying some of the green apple cider Harley had brought earlier this week, and the thought propelled him forward to the cold room. He hummed tonelessly under his breath, ready to think about everything else other than his research for the night, but then he opened the door to the cold room, flipped on the lights, and froze in sheer horror.

The shelves which usually held the drinks were completely empty, except for two measly cans of PBR. There was absolutely no sign of any of the other drinks, not even the half-empty thing of boxed wine that had been sitting there for half a month and was probably undrinkable by now.

“What,” Stiles said, “the fuck.”

He took in the scene with narrowed eyes, and then turned on his heel and stomped out. It was time to investigate.

It being Friday evening, the hallways were fairly deserted, and Stiles was pretty sure the weedy undergrads he saw comparing notes on some exam or the other weren’t the culprits. For one, their backpacks were definitely not big enough to hide a whole bunch of cider in, let alone the beer.

He stalked past them, ignoring their wide eyes and furrowed brows, and slammed open the door to his office (then closed it gently because probably the undergrads should not be privy to this conversation).

“Isaac!” he snapped. “What the hell happened to the drinks?”

“The drinks in the cold room?” Isaac said, spinning around on his chair, making the perfect impression of the surprised Pikachu face. “I haven’t done anything to them. Are they not there?”

“No!” Stiles resolutely did not wail. “Everything’s gone, even that gross old boxed wine!”

Isaac switched from surprised Pikachu face to his favorite grimace. Stiles sighed, and reminded himself to finally print out that “No Emotional Journeys!” sign and pin it up on his desk.

“Okay, well, there’s two PBRs left but we all know PBR is the drink of the devil,” Stiles amended, and Isaac waggled his eyebrows at him.

“A drink’s a drink, dude,” he said. “We can figure out where the rest of the drinks went later, just go get yourself one before those disappear too.”

Stiles groaned and gave in, heading back to the cold room. The undergrads had migrated to right across the office door, but Stiles didn’t care if they’d been eavesdropping. This was a serious problem! Pesky undergrads could shove it until he had an awful, awful beer in his hand…awful beers that had also disappeared from the cold room in the few minutes he’d been gone.

He resisted the urge to rattle the shelves. He was an adult, he was a graduate student, he was not going to whine about a missing PBR of all things. He slunk out of the room, debating whether to go see if the mice labs two floors down had any drinks hidden away, or if it was wiser just to give up and go home.

Going down to the mice labs had mostly won out when Stiles spotted two figures that had just turned the corner and were walking down the hallway, away from him. He recognized Scott’s end-of-the-day rumpled hair immediately, and was ready to go complain to him when he also registered the can he was holding, hidden in a violently red koozie, but definitely the same size as the missing PBRs. Stiles didn’t recognize the other person with him, but they also had a koozie in their hand – two cans. He couldn’t believe it, but it must be true – Scott had taken the PBRs from the cold room. The outrage!

“Scott!” Stiles yelled. Scott turned around, classic goofy grin on his face, but it faded as he saw Stiles barreling down the hallway towards him.

“What—,” he managed to get out before Stiles ran into him and started tugging on his drink.

“Scott, how could you do this to me! I thought we were bros!” Stiles said, knowing he was coming off as very strange but at this point, he was too far gone to care. “You pillaged the last drink!”

Scott tugged his drink back but Stiles refused to let go, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Scott’s mysterious companion take a slow step back.

“And!” he said, letting the drink go abruptly in favor of using his hands to gesture at the Mysterious Companion, while still keeping his gaze on Scott’s startled face. “And you bring this random person in and give them a drink instead of saving it for me?? You’re flagrantly violating the rules of our friendship, man!”

Scott stumbled back a couple steps and then raised his hands. “Stiles, I think you’ve got the wrong idea, dude.”

“I’d like to see you explain your way out of this!” Stiles said, agitatedly bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“The hell, Stiles, you know I stopped drinking like a year ago! This is just a La Croix!”

“Oh,” Stiles said, pausing. “Oh, yeah. I did know that.”

“Yeah, oh. I think you need to explain to me what exactly is happening and why you’re freaking out.”

“Uh, so,” Stiles began, glancing around as he finally let his brain slow down a little. The undergrads from earlier were huddled in a corner, and he was sure he saw one of them rapidly typing away on his phone. Probably live-tweeting his breakdown, titled “saw my TA having a breakdown, just another day in college.”

“So?” Scott said.

“Okay, so Isaac made me go to the cold room for drinks but there were no drinks! Like none, Scott, everything was gone except for these two cans of PBR and I went back to check with Isaac if he knew what had happened, and he said he didn’t, but by the time I came back to get the PBRs they were gone anyway!” Stiles blurted out, hands moving everywhere to emphasize the dire straits he was in. “The entire stash is gone without a trace, Scott, it’s so bad!”

He took a breath and then added, “Also, what the hell, you’re drinking La Croix? At least get a Coke or something man, you know La Croix tastes like someone vaguely described fruit to an alien.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know, but we got them at this vet school mixer thing we were at and free stuff is free stuff. But okay – I see why you’re so stressed, but don’t worry, we’re here, we’re going to solve this mystery!”

Stiles grinned as they both fistbumped. Scott always came through.

A polite cough interrupted them and Stiles whirled around, remembering the Mysterious Companion.

“Oh!” Scott said. “This is Derek! He’s a PhD student in like the history department, and he was at the mixer because he wanted to talk to some vets about canines but anyway—” Scott waved his hand in the air. “Long story. Point is, he’s cool! Derek, this is Stiles! You know how I study gut microbiota? Stiles’ advisor is actually my co-advisor, that’s how we became friends!”

Some tiny part of Stiles’ brain noted that Scott was grinning and still prattling on about how he and Stiles became best bros for life, but the rest of it was focused mostly on Mysterious Companion Derek, and his green eyes and glasses and dark hair and solid body and the hint of a smile on his face, and the shirt that made a stupid joke about Shakespeare and also made his arms look very nice. Then he had the abrupt realization that he had just massively embarrassed himself in front of this very beautiful man and his stomach turned itself into a pretzel.

“Okay very nice to meet you but I just remembered I have a thing. In lab. That I have to do like immediately. Sorry see you later!” Stiles said, turned on his heel, and zoomed down to his office, even as Scott called his name. He could feel the heat coming off his face. It was time to die in a ditch.

“It is time to die in a ditch,” he said as soon as he was securely in the office and safe from eavesdropping undergrads and grads. He had his face to the door in the hopes that it would cool him down, but when he got no response from Isaac, he turned around to face an empty office.

“Dammit,” he said, and saw the bright yellow post-it on Isaac’s old Dell. Erica says she’s going to get drinks from somewhere (don’t ask), see you in the lounge at 5:30!! it read, and Stiles sighed. At least he could now successfully drown his sorrows in a drink, even if it wasn’t the green apple cider he had been looking forward to.

At 5:35, he was in the lounge with a non-PBR beer in his hand, and retelling his extremely embarrassing experience to Isaac.

“In conclusion, it is time to die in a ditch,” he said, winding up his story. Isaac just laughed at him, stuck another beer in his hand, and then pushed him towards Erica and Harley who had probably overheard most of Stiles’ sorry story.

“They’re having another argument about what the best model organism is,” he said. “Why don’t you go join in, it’ll make you feel better.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Stiles mumbled, but his heart wasn’t in it. Damn Isaac for knowing him too well. The argument would make him feel better. He drained his beer and went to preach the awesomeness of Drosophila to the plebes who hadn’t seen the light yet.

Two beers later, Stiles was flushed red again, but for a much better reason this time.

“C’mon, Drosophila have such a large suite of genetic tools! Can you even get optogenetic strains in zebrafish? I bet you can’t, they’re just transparent little fish!” he said, waving his pile of peeled off beer labels and scattering the pieces everywhere.

“You don’t even use optogenetic strains!” Erica said, swinging her own bottle of beer around. “That’s an invalid argument!”

“I don’t now, but I might in the future! What if I want to do like, optogenetic strains of gut bacteria—” Stiles said, blatantly making up stuff, and then stopped as his hand smacked against a solid object and dropped even more bits of paper everywhere.

He looked up and gulped. The solid object was Derek’s chest, clad in that Shakespeare shirt, and attached to the rest of his body. Derek, who he’d been avoiding ever since he saw him enter the lounge with Scott (which by extension meant avoiding Scott too, but sacrifices had to be made). Derek, who had seen Stiles make an absolute fool of himself not even an hour ago, and who now had paper bits on his shoes.

“Sorry, uh, hi,” he said, trying his best not to sound like an idiot who had been ranting about zebrafish. He could feel the flush climbing up his cheeks, and not for the first time, cursed his unbelievably pale skin.

“No, I’m sorry – am I interrupting?” Derek said, sounding almost shy. He was holding onto the can of La Croix he was still nursing with a white-knuckled grip.

“Oh, you’re not at all,” Harley’s cheerful, conniving voice chimed in before Stiles could say anything. He turned to her with a betrayed look, in time to see her wink at him and grab Erica’s arm. “You and Erica are both wrong, by the way. Obviously the best model organism is C. elegans. Bow down to the worm, dude. Also, we have to go now, have fun!”

Stiles gaped as she and Erica walked away giggling, abandoning him in his time of need. He was about to chase after them with a half-assed excuse when Derek reached out and lightly touched his shoulder. It felt like a static shock to Stiles’ entire system, but in a good way, and he swung his gaze to Derek’s equally startled face.

“So,” Derek said. “We didn’t really get time to introduce ourselves or talk earlier…”

“Yeah, haha,” Stiles said automatically, manners kicking in. “I’m Stiles, but you already knew that.”

Derek smiled at him without rancor and Stiles’ heart legitimately skipped a beat. “And I’m Derek, but you knew that too. So…” he said again, and trailed off.

Stiles’ tongue felt like it was tied into a hundred knots and he desperately wanted to say something so charming that the conversation would start flowing immediately, or alternatively, a perfectly timed excuse to leave. He caught Scott’s eye over Derek’s shoulder and Scott, the traitor, immediately turned around and started talking to Isaac.

He was so caught up in wallowing in the callousness of everyone around him that he almost missed Derek saying, “…what’s a model organism, really?”

“Oh man,” he blurted out and resisted the urge to smack his mouth shut. “Do you really want to get into this right now?”

“Hit me,” Derek said, and his smile tilted up into a smirk. Stiles grinned back, feeling warmth kindle in his chest, and launched into his love for fruit flies.

One empty can of La Croix and another beer bottle later, they were still talking, the conversation flowing easier and in a much stranger direction than Stiles could have ever imagined.

“Okay, but vampires could totally be real, just think about it,” Derek was saying. “You’re a biologist, you know vampire bats are a thing, why not actual vampires?”

“…fair,” Stiles said. “Plus I guess the whole thing with people drinking other people’s blood to stay young. Humans are a strange species. But I still disagree with you on werewolves. No way could werewolves be a thing – where the hell would all the mass go? Wolves are freaking huge!”

Derek slashed his hand through the air in a dismissive gesture, but Stiles saw the smile twinkling in his eyes. “Just attribute it to the magic! You can buy into the shapeshifting concept but you draw a line at conservation of mass?”

“Shapeshifting is fine if you’re still the same mass afterwards, so humans could turn into like, I don’t know, a giant were-sun bear. I would be totally fine with that!”

Derek snorted, and then started chuckling outright. “Sorry I just – a giant were-sun bear? That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

The warmth in Stiles’ chest, that had been growing through the entire conversation, sparked up even more at the sound of Derek’s genuine laughter. He stared, grinning like an idiot, and as Derek’s laughter calmed down, they both just looked at each other, smiles in their eyes and on their mouths.

A careful cough finally tore their gazes away from each other. Scott gave them a sheepish look.

“I didn’t want to interrupt, but it’s almost 8,” he said, and Stiles’ eyes widened. He surreptitiously checked his phone and yup, Scott was right, it was a quarter to 8. He’d been talking to Derek for nearly two hours. “Maybe you guys should….go somewhere else?”

He grinned at Stiles, mischief in his eyes, and Stiles tried his best to not roll his eyes back. Scott was a bro but he was also not subtle.

“There’s this Thai restaurant I really like,” Derek said, reaching out to get Stiles’ attention back. The same jolt of energy ran through both of them at the contact, leaving Stiles mildly breathless again, and he looked up into Derek’s hopeful eyes. “We could continue this there?”

Stiles smiled, and said, “Hell yeah, dude. I still have to convert you to the fruit fly side, after all.”

Derek beamed. “Oh, I don’t doubt that. I still have to convert you to the werewolf side, too.”

Stiles laughed, and grabbed Derek’s hand impulsively, pulling him to the exit. Scott gave him a huge thumbs-up (that Derek definitely saw) but Stiles just smiled again, his chest warm and light, and let himself soak in the way Derek easily followed him.

[charmandhex]

Late Night Research

Lup tiptoes past her brother’s sleeping form- not because there’s a risk she could wake him simply walking by, given that Taako sleeps like the dead, but because their shared space looks like someone, probably Lup, set off Whirlwind in it. The floor is most assuredly difficult terrain, and Lup is determined to avoid falling on her ass, if only so Taako doesn’t wake up specifically to laugh at her.

Lup opens the door onto the dim hallway, lit only by the green glow of the emergency lights every five feet. Here she moves more quickly, but just as noiselessly, an old habit from childhood. They’ve got some amazing gruyere, and a grilled cheese sandwich is calling Lup’s name even now at fuck o’clock when everyone else is asleep.

Or at least, when everyone else should be asleep.

Lup pauses as she steps into a small patch of light, spreading out from the bottom of the door to the lab. Barry.

Lup swallows, hard, and her stomach seems to do a little flip. She and Barry are definitely the only two awake on the ship right now. But Lup was certainly asleep not long before, everything from her sleep-mussed hair to her bare feet a testament to that fact. And she has been since they’d all officially turned in some hours before. Though it seems Barry had gotten sidetracked on the way back to his own room.

Which means, by any reasonable and in no way biased assessment, that Lup should do something about that. She’d do it for any one of her crew, the family she loves so dearly! Lup would go to any lengths; definitely steal Lucretia’s pens, harass Merle out of the sick bay, levitate a whining Magnus, stare down Davenport, or drape herself on Taako, all to get them to go to sleep. But this is Barry.

And, uh, Lup has recently (okay, maybe not so recently, ten years at the most) realized that the love she feels vis a vis Barry... is more like in love with Barry.

She’s not afraid! Her feet remain where they are as though affixed to the floor. She can’t make out the color polish Magnus last painted her toenails, but she notes three have started to chip.

Okay, Lup might be nervous. Just maybe. Just a... a smidgeon. Less than a teaspoon. But she’s not... the only person she’s even talked to about her plane-sized crush is Taako. Her brother had of course been supportive, but there’s a big difference between talking to someone who has been your heart since birth and talking to someone to whom you’d given your heart long before you’d even realized.

The clock strikes, another hour of sleep Barold hasn’t gotten. At that Lup’s mouth, purses into a bow of hesitation, sets. She squares her shoulders.

And then Lup enters the lab.

The bright light hits her, specifically hits her in the pupils. Lup nearly doubles over swearing.

“Lup?” Barry’s voice calls, a mix of concerned, shocked, and sleepy.

Great. Another great impression on him.

Granted, Barry’s known Lup for decades now, so they’re well past first, second, and forty-seventh impressions.

“Barry!” Lup straightens up immediately, striving for casual. “Hey... what’s my favorite nerd up to?”

Even as Lup instantly overanalyzes her greeting, she looks over Barry, half feigned nonchalance, half critically, entirely lovingly. Barry Bluejeans is, of course, wearing the ever practical, seemingly immortal blue jeans, along with an old university shirt and practical safety shoes. His hair may generously be called a mess, and his soft face is sporting a few days’ worth of stubble that Lup is tempted to run her hands over. Barry’s eyes are sharp behind his glasses, but he has a whole caravan worth of bags under those eyes. And these bags are thrown into stark relief by the Light of Creation, the source of light that had seemed to sear Lup’s eyeballs. His body is turned toward her, and Lup can see that he’s looking at her much in the same way she’s looking at him.

Good thing Lup always looks good, even only mostly awake and in an oversized t shirt and booty shorts.

“I, uh, I... Lup... you aren’t wearing closed toed shoes in the lab.” Barry points, and Lup rolls up onto the balls of her feet before dropping back down.

“Barold. I’m pretty sure we left OSHA violations behind at least a dozen cycles ago.” Lup strikes a more impressive pose, defiant in the face of environmental health and safety. “Besides,” she continues, looking to Barry, “I’m pretty sure you’re not one to talk. Don’t we have rules about how many hours of the day you can be in the lab? Hm, Barold?” And Lup knows she’s got him from the way he turns red.

“Well...” Barry glances away from her to his notes and then back again. “I started just analyzing some of the, uh, the energy signatures from the Light and attempting to plot them out comparing to light waveforms, but then I kept going, and I found- Lup.” Barry squeaks out the last word, surprised, and it’s then that Lup finds that she’s walked over to Barry, her curiosity immediately spurred by the mention of Barry’s experiments with the Light. She doesn’t step back though, instead looking over Barry’s work, both the incomplete plots magically projected into three dimensions and the scribbled equations on half-crumpled graph paper.

“Oh, Barry, this is... moving in four dimensions because we know it just moves from plane to plane seemingly instantaneously... and you’re incorporating Lara’s equations on emittance properties of magic, that’s brilliant... and your own papers on bond dynamics...” Lup continues mumbling to herself, in awe once again over Barry’s scientific work. “It’s... Barry, this is no-shit beautiful.”

“Yeah... beautiful,” Barry agrees, almost dreamily, as if he’s as wrapped up in the science as Lup is. But then he makes a noise like a strangled goose, and Lup’s attention snaps from the work to Barry in alarm. He’s turned red again, but that could be caused by anything from light teasing to indignation over terrible scientific practices.

“Barry... babe, you okay?” Lup asks, concern dancing along her voice like a flickering candle flame.

“Yeah! Yeah, fine. Fine. Just fine.” Barry coughs. “I’m fine.”

“Okay. Pretty sure I got that you’re fine.” Lup smiles at Barry. He reaches up a hand to scratch at his face, apparently self-conscious, but he smiles back, a soft, gentle thing that’s somehow brighter than the Light. Lup’s stomach does a bigger flip this time. “But. Uh. It’s late. And you... you should definitely be asleep. Humans deffo need that shit.”

“Okay, now, Lup, I get that, but...” Barry gestures to his work, a pleading look on his face. And it takes a lot for Lup not to give in and spend the rest of the night getting just as caught up in research as Barry. With Barry.

“Nope!” Lup says, shaking her head, the movement causing messy locks to brush against her cheeks. “Sleep time. Look at the clock. Everyone should be asleep right now, including you, dear Barold.”

At that Barry tilts his head to the side, questioning. “Wait... Lup, why are you awake?”

Oops. Lup shuffles her feet. The floor of the lab is really cold, even for someone perpetually running hot. “I... woke up and wanted grilled cheese.” She admits.

Barry lights up at that. Lup scrunches her nose and flicks her ears. “Only if it will get you out of the lab. And then you go to sleep.” She warns.

“For you and grilled cheese? Absolutely.”

Lup pauses, considering the bargain she’s struck. And then she extends a hand. Barry takes it, and she tugs him up to standing.

Barry’s hand is warm in hers, and Lup doesn’t let go as Barry flicks off the lab lights. She doesn’t let go as they awkwardly, laughingly, holding hands, go through the door. She doesn’t let go as they walk down the hall into the kitchen.

But then. Neither does Barry.

[cinaea]

I, M and Q for the fanfic ask meme? Sorry if thats too much or youve already answered one of those, btw, i absolutely adored trinity + volition, am super excited for the up coming part and hope youre having a lovely day!!

Hello, munchkin! Thank you for responding to the FanFic Meme!(This is a reminder to everyone else that they’re also welcome to send me anask!) I’m gonna take these out of order, to end on a fluffy note.

I: Do you have a guiltypleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Let’s go with reading, ‘nony, because the next bit showcasesone of those guilty pleasures in my writing. Prepare for TMI, but hey, youasked. I browse the Tentacles tag on AO3 when I’m trying to get in the mood, ifyou know what I mean. Just about any fandom (no matter how obscure or badlywritten), I’ll read it as long as it’s short, complete, and explicit. I’m notlooking for thousands of words of character development—I want the raunchystuff up front. Bring me that sweet, dub-con xenophilia, baby.

In case you’re already sorry you asked, let’s move on toeven more disturbing pastures. Triggerwarning for dub-con in this one, folks, though if you’ve read Volition, I suspectyou’re comfortable rolling these dice.

Q: Do you have anydiscarded scenes/storylines/projects?

While writing Chapter 8 of Volition, I realized therehad been a pacing problem since Chapter 4, and that I was risking drawing out thedays of the interrogations too long to keep readers engaged. Also, man, commentershad turned against Steve hard, which hadn’t exactlybeen my intent—I’d hoped that general fanon love for Steve would help readerssee through that part of Bucky’s unreliable narrative.

Sidebar for an example: There’s amoment in Chapter 11 where Steve decides to stop kissing Bucky, and Bucky thinksto himself how self-righteous Steve’s being, thinking he knows anything abouttrauma. And I’m like: Surely people will see that this is a ridiculous thing to think about Steve;Steve has experienced plenty oftraumas and knows how they can fuckyou up. Fuck you, Bucky, you’re awful here.But no, commenters agreed with Bucky, and that was even after I’d sped up the outline to bring up some of Steve’s backstorysooner in Chapters 9 and 10.

So yes, I’d made a critical mistake and bogged down the 25-50%of the story with lots of incidents that essentially spun their wheels and didn’tbring Bucky and Steve any closer. I needed to get to the kissing and the disastrousbonding ASAP. I did some shuffling and condensed the planned Chapters 9-to-12into 9-to-11, sacrificing a few unsuccessful interactions and one big, momentousshowstopper that was planned but never written.

If you thought the failed D/s scene near the finale was high-stakes,just wait until you hear about the semi-disastrous blow job I had planned forwhat was originally Chapter 11, the day between the kiss in Tony’s lab and theirbonding! The goal was to introduce some sexuality into the story, as well asone more instance of all three of them fucking up. That meant putting Bucky ina desperate headspace where he’d be willing to do just about anything to securehis friends’ safety, while Tony and Steve were oblivious to Bucky’s skewedinterpretation of events.

Following the nerve-wrackinginterrogation that came dangerously close to revealing that Bucky had killedfor Mentallo willingly, Bucky stumbles to his doms’ bedroom in the middle ofthe night, anxious to convince them to bond, and finds them grinding againsteach other in bed. Bucky’s libido has been muted since assaulting Clint, but hecan’t help but watch from the doorway.

Tony spots him and coaxes him tojoin them. They all move to the edge of the bed, and they take turns kissing Bucky,who’s not sure if he’s into this, but he needs them to want him, and he feelslike he can’t risk saying ‘no,’ but they keep inviting him to greaterintimacies (because Tony’s problem in the first half is how much he assumes about Bucky), and he can’t seemto catch his breath or find his footing.

Steve ends up kneeling on the floorbetween Bucky’s legs, and Tony rubs Bucky’s arm and shoulder and kisses hisneck, urging Bucky to “Let him/he wants this so bad/etc.” Steve unzips Bucky'spants and pulls out his half-hard cock (it feels good but also weirdlysickening, he hasn't been even this hard in years), but Bucky's not sure hecan/should; this isn’t what he came for but doesn’t he owe it to his friends(uncomfortable echoes of the Ebersol mindset)? Tony puts Bucky's hand inSteve's hair and tells him he's in control, because of course that’s what Tony thinks Bucky needs. Bucky reflexivelytightens his hand in Steve's hair, and Steve takes that as a command and leansforward, maybe whispering "please." His dom is begging, and Bucky’s instincts and his brain both say he should lethim have what he wants, but.... Steve may possibly make skin contact, but Buckypanics and dashes out of the room. Or else Tony manages to talk Bucky throughthe entire blow job, but Bucky’s in a messed-up headspace the entire time, andcomes with a wave of guilt.

In looking for a way to condense the middle chapters, Iconfronted just how disturbingly dub-con the moment was, and ultimately I feltgood about cutting it. Aren’t we all glad I made that choice? The story didn’tneed any more train wrecks, and theirrelationship is healthier for not having included such a messed up sex scene.

Phew! That was dark. Let’s end on whimsy!

M: Got any premiseson the back burner that you'd care to share?

I’ve got this half-formed Bucky/Steve idea that I’d love tosomeday find the time to write, but I’ve got three more big stories to get outfirst (two in Trinity Universe, and one in GGundam). Who knows if I’ll ever find the time? It’s a ~fairytale mashupthat combines aspects of @astolat‘sfabulous The Crown of theSummer Court, the too-brilliant JonathanStrange and Mr. Norrell, a dash of the DresdenFiles novels, and a whole bunch of Fairy lore I’ve consumed over the years. Thepremise goes something like this:

Steve and Bucky are childhood friends in village on the edgeof a woods. One day Bucky wanders alone too far into the woods in search ofherbs to use as medicine for Steve, and ventures into a Fairy Ring. The Faesnatch Bucky away and replace him with a changeling that wastes away and dieswithin a week. Everyone believes the switch except Steve, who discovers thepiece of wood where Bucky’s body should be [something something the wood as stand-infor the metal arm? to be developed]. Steve studies everything he can about theFae over the years, and finally a passing sorcerer (Howard? Tony?) gives Stevethe potion that upgrades his sickly body to Cap body, and takes Steve along when he leaves town. Steve quests for years tofind Bucky, and [plot point to be determined] finds himself in the land of theFae, where he’s to serve as the champion for a Fairy Lord. Unbeknownst toSteve, the champion of the rival Fairy Lord is the Winter Soldier, a practicallymute human foundling who has spent more than a decade in Faerie and has beenspelled to forget his human past. The Winter Soldier is tasked with seducingSteve into violating some rule of hospitality before their scheduled match.Steve resists manfully even as he realizes it’s Bucky, and he makes it a termof his continued service to his sponsoring Lord to restore Bucky’s memory andfreedom if Steve wins. There’s a tournament, plenty of canoodling that Steve’shard pressed to deny, and an eventual happy ending.

…That’s about all I’ve figured out so far. Lots of pining, Faerierules lawyering, dueling, manly yearning,etc. I haven’t yet planned how to work in Peggy and/or Sam. T’Challa wouldlikely be the Fae Lord sponsoring Steve. Did I mention rules lawyering? Becauseyeah, I was going to have to come up with that twist, too. Difficult.

This has been fun, peeps! Let’s do more asks! And hey, ifyou like these Ask responses? Like my writings? Feel free to buy me a coffee sometime. After all, Iwrote this post from a Starbucks. Mama has an expensive habit.

[lemonlilyxx-blog]

Average -Minicat- Part One, Tyler

         “Tyler, honey,” the nurse’s voice seemed to fill the air around us and suck any reaction from me, like a poison of it’s own I was to do whatever she said. It was mind control. Manipulating in it’s tone of false safety, a trick I’ve fallen for too many times.  “Montoya wouldn’t be terribly happy if you didn’t take the month’s testing injections, isn’t that right?”

         “Yeah,” I sorrowfully admitted. “I still say no. My body, my rules.”

         “Well, that could be debated. You are under our command, Tyler. And that command is where you agree to let us do our research, okay honey?” He voice was twisted and wretched, growling deeper and deeper with every word.

         “I want nurse Kelly,” I whimpered. “She’s nicer than you. Where did she go”

         “Nurse Kelly isn’t here, and will never come back ever again.” She hissed, anger suddenly flooding through the blonde’s veins. “Nurse Kelly isn’t coming back for you, or Evan, or Anthony or anybody, now or ever. You hear me?” Her face was twisting into darkness, eyes blue to black, being sucked into a void of nothingness- what it looked like when they injected the chemicals into me the first time. The room was swaying with blackness, heat, death. I closed my eyes, and tried pushing it all away, pushing away my motion sickness from the floor swaying beneath the rolling cot. Then it stopped, and the most spine-chilling voice reached out to me through the white walls that only the nurse and I were in.

         “Tyler, wake up,” Montoya hissed. “Wake up, wake up. Dude!”

 I jerked up and away, smacking my head against something solid, and two pained groans filled the room.

         “Evan, what the hell man?” I asked, slurred with sleep. The Canasian winced slightly while rubbing his head. Either a new bruise or new swelling, hard to tell seconds after it happened.

         “You started screaming again. Was it the, uh..?” Evan began, yet his voice trailed off in fear that when he finished his sentence I would hate him for it. But even he knew I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

         “Yeah, it was. Goddammit, sorry, did I wake you?” I asked.

         “No, I also uh, woke up with nightmares.” He sighed. I nodded, heart full of sympathy. It was what we get for escaping, for knowing the truth behind that lab. Whether it was a blessing or a curse, neither of us knew. But at the moment, it seemed like a curse. One that would creep up on us each day, whether it was the nightmares that haunted us, or being shocked full of fear whenever we saw the logo plastered anywhere and everywhere. Or maybe it was even when we were thrust out onto the playing field when the city was too selfish and dumb to save itself from itself.

         “What time is it?” I muttered, mainly to myself, as Evan flopped down next to me and I rolled over to grab my phone. 5:49 in the morning, I guess eleven minutes off wouldn’t screw me near at all. “Want some coffee?” I asked Evan, who nodded slightly. It was no use trying to go back to sleep now. I quickly made my way out of my bedroom and down the hall, where Evan’s bedroom was wide open for all to see what was inside. His TV had a show I didn’t recognize playing on it, which meant he was probably up hours before me, and finished Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. in less than a week.

         I hopped down the stairs to our apartment and into the small kitchen, quickly brewing up coffee for Evan and I, and setting his mug on the counter. He’d probably fallen asleep in my bed again, too exhausted to manage to his own. It was normal. With the late nights we sometimes needed to pull, and then waking either ourselves or the other up. Our sleep schedule was heroically screwed.

         A few minutes later, Evan clomped down the stairs with his hair a rumpled mess and deep bags under his eyes. He gave me a grateful gaze before grabbing the lukewarm mug off the counter and taking a long swig, before jumping up and sitting on the counter as a replacement for his mug. After another few minutes of relaxing silence, Evan hopped off his ‘seat’ and into the living room, the TV quickly flipping on after and the soft hum of news reporters talking about boring shit as always. Though, from where the TV peaked out from behind the wall, there was a logo slowly flowing by at the bottom of the screen in the text bar. I didn’t focus on what is said. Only the haunting logo. The same one that I had stared at for hours and hours a day, the only thing that kept me from panicking from all the needles being pushed into my sore arms, the beating into obedience, and the glares the other experiments had given me, jealous of my apparent ‘success rate.’. Plastered from coats to mugs to pens and even the wall.

          It was only Evan’s mocking voice that brought me back from the pain of what was once my life, our life. “Tyler, it’s the guy you like,” he teased. Pretending my innocence in confusion, I waltzed into the living room.

         “Huh?” I muttered, sipping the cooling coffee in my mug, hiding my small smile.

          “The news reporter that you always get blushy gushy all over. What was his name, like, Peter or something?”

           “Craig,” I corrected, and Evan’s lopsided smile grew into a large, satisfied grin.It took me a minute to realize I had just completely admitted that I had a thing for him. “Wait no, that’s not what I mean’ta say, uh,” I tried, and failed. It was far too obvious for Evan to stumble away from.

            “Dork,” Evan laughed. “Sit down so you don’t fall over yourself, heart-eyes.” Evan patted the spot next to him, and I flopped down.

            It would be useless to try and argue with Evan about how I didn’t have this crush, how easily swayed Tyler was when he first saw the chestnut hair, and brown eyes that seemed to change to green in an instant. But it’s a lot harder to run into a news reporter at a grocery store than one may think.

s almost ended accent.

             “Damn, Tyler, stop drooling,” Evan laughed, and I hid behind my mug, taking a long sip and ignoring the Canasian.

             “Hey, Evan, I might sneak down there in a bit and see what’s happening around. Y’know?” I breathed.

              “You mean ‘and see how my boyfriend is doing,’ correct?”

              “Shuddup, fucktard.”

              “Love you too, asshole.”

              “Reporting live on the scene at Danville Park, I’m Craig Thompson from TDC News, and will be right back with you after these messages, and talk about the opinions of some of the protesters. Have a wonderful morning.” The screen switched to an ad about some useless brand of orange juice, and I stood up and stretched, grabbing Evan’s empty coffee cup from his hands and bringing it into the kitchen.

                “I might join you too,” Evan sighed from the living room. “I mean, it could be fun. You never really know.”

                “Oooh,” I laughed, “does somebody have a crush too?” I mocked in a sing-song voice. “Who is it, that chick Veronica? Or the guy who probably used to be a porn star, what was his name, Harry? Harry Sparkledick?”

                “Shut up, Tyler,” Evan snapped, but I could hear the blush on his cheeks through his words. “Neither of them.”

I asked, dropping the mugs in the sink and parading back into the living room, where Evan had curled up under a blanket and was staring daggers through the TV.

                “Can we not act like immature middle grade kids?” We both let out a too-exhausted laugh.

                 “Y’know, it’ll depend.”

                 “On what?”

                 “Whether you have a crush or not.” Evan let out a long groan, and I snickered.

                 “Oh look, Tyler,” Evan kicked my side. “It’s your husband.” I sorrowfully admit, I turned to look at the screen. Craig was back talking to a girl wearing a plain white t-shirt and business coat. She looked to be in a hurry.

                 “Do you care to give us your name?” Craig asked politely.

the woman growled, and the reporter suddenly looked extremely nervous, as if this woman was a bomb about to go off. But surely he has had his fair share of assholes, right?

                  “Okay,” Craig cleared his throat. “What’s your opinion on the spectacle about the court case?” His normal voice and initial fear had dispersed.

                  “I don’t understand it,” her voice had gone from snappy librarian to a sickly sweet grandmother with a knife in her pocket, trying to coo her children to eat the cookies. “A man violates a woman, forces her into adulthood, then steals her money.” She shifted the bag slung across her shoulder and I nearly started screaming at Craig to run.

                  “Evan?”

                  “Yeah?”

                  “We need to get down there right now. Right fucking now.”

                  “Wha- Wait why?” He turned to stare at me.

He did as their own conversation went on behind the screen, oblivious to it all.

                    “Tyler I bet she’s just on her way to-”

                     “Evan Fucking Fong, that is the B.C.T.R.F. standing right there for us, right there for us to finally fucking just,” I let out a groan. “Evan we leave now.”

                     “Now, like, now now?”                      “Get the fuck ready now, I’ll grab the car and you grab our things.”

                     “Done,” Evan nodded. Despite knowing that this man would be right by my side the entire time, it still felt like I was going out alone. Alone in a lab of crazy people, only looking to sample my blood and create more of their mutants, and ruin more people’s once average lives.

 Hey look I did a thing that that is idk. Hope you enjoyed???

Oh yeah this is art one it won’t let me do shit to the title y'know

[rxbxlcaptain]

Once Upon A Disaster

I wrote this for @therebelcaptainnetwork​‘s secret Valentine exchange. They originally required these stories be at least 1,000 words, but, as always, I got carried away with these two, so my story is six times that. The prompt “modern AU or a school/college AU” was given to me by @mamushkababuska​. Needless to say, that gave me plenty of room to improvise and take this plot where I wanted it to go. As they say, write what you know, and what I know is the struggles of a pre-med major in college, so I forced poor Cassian to suffer in similar ways to myself.

That being said, I’ve worked plenty of science terms, including CRISPR technology. Like I don’t own Star Wars or any of these characters (or even e.e. cummings), I do not own the ideas behind CRISPR, nor did Galen Erso discover that amazing science. I encourage you all to look up the fascinating topic that is CRISPR and marvel at the truly talented scientists that are changing the way we approach medicine.

Without further ado, here’s the story… Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

Words: 6129

FF.Net / AO3 / Below the Cut!

Cassian Andor didn’t do love or relationships or even one-night stands. Flirting, drawing up romantic dinner plans, enticing a girl to come back to his apartment: the romance process took up way too much money and time. If there was one thing Cassian Andor didn’t have enough of, it was time.

No, he needed to fit the course load of a biochemistry/anthropology double major into his semester. He needed to take a couple more shifts washing dishes at the diner this weekend so that the rent could get paid. (He flatly refused for Kay to insist on covering him again.) He needed to type up the meeting minutes from his pre-med club. He needed to decide on his spring break plans: building homes in an impoverished town outside of New Orleans with Habitat for Humanity or vaccinating children in the Dominican Republic with Doctors Without Borders? He needed to keep up his 4.0 GPA so he could get a coveted summer internship at the cancer hospital in the city. He needed to land that internship so that Johns Hopkins medical school would look at his application.

The number one thing Cassian Andor did not need was a distraction.

And if Cassian had to describe Jyn Erso in two words, that’s what it would be. A Distraction.

She began by distracting their lab supervisor for organic chemistry. Ten minutes after the lab’s scheduled beginning, long after the introductory video for the lab had been shown, Jyn walked into the class.

No, “walked” was far too anticlimactic of a word. Jyn shoved her way into the lab, banging the door against the nearest wall and forcing the instructor to stop his lecture on safety.

The students stared, stunned past the point of mobility, at the latecomer. She wore, not the mandatory white lab coats and safety goggles like the other twenty-four students already sitting at their desks, but a Beatles tank top and flip flops. A half-hearted bun contained most of her hair, but much of it rebelled against its prison, falling into her eyes instead. She at least seemed to recognized that the cup of coffee in her hand violated some form of protocol, if her quiet “oops” and subsequent chugging of the liquid was any indication.

“You must be Miss Erso,” the instructor sighed, sounding resigned to the girl’s rule breaking rather than irritated, as Cassian expected. Longed for any other seat in the room, because next to his was the only unoccupied spot in the entire room.

Jyn gave a sloppy salute before heading towards Cassian, giving him a nod as she sat down.

At the front of the room, the instructor continued his lecture. “If you turn to your left,” Cassian flatly refused to look at the girl, “you’ll see your lab partner for the semester. Spend the next few minutes introducing yourself.”

In lieu of an introduction, Jyn asked, “Do you have a pen I could borrow? I forgot to bring one.” Without waiting for a response, she reached into his bag to find one, emerging with Cassian’s favorite pen, which she promptly dropped on the floor. “Oops.”

Cassian resisted the urge to groan.

 As if her entrance to class wasn’t bad enough, she managed to take Cassian’s pen—who doesn’t bring a pen to the first day of class? —and leave her syllabus behind in her exit. Luckily, her flip flops made enough noise down the hallway that Cassian could follow her.

“Hey! Jyn!”

She paused, looking up from her smartphone.

Cassian shoved the syllabus at her. “You forgot this.” He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice when he added, “And you took my pen.”

“I knew I was forgetting something.”

For Christ’s sake, was everything about this woman so apathetic? Surely, surely, Cassian thought, she has some kind of drive, some kind of motivation.

“Listen,” Cassian stopped her before she could walk away again, “This class is extremely important to me.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “So you need me to be a good little lab partner for you? So as to not screw you over?”

“Basically.”

She gave him a calculating look. “You’re trying to get into med school, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am.”

She snorted.

“What?” Cassian growled, suddenly defensive. “Why are you taking organic chemistry then?”

She shrugged. “Thought it looked interesting.”

Cassian watched her walk away for a few seconds, his mouth hanging open in confusion. She was two blocks down the street before Cassian realized he hadn’t gotten his pen back from her.

“She’s taking organic chemistry for the hell of it, Kay. What kind of person does that?”

“That increases her chances of being a psychopath by at least thirty-two percent.”

Cassian had first met Kaden Sage Ogden the Second his first night in the dorm. Kay—as he insisted on being called, rather than actually using the “horrid name” his father insisted on passing onto him—had a tremendously high IQ and a tendency to say whatever he wanted around people, especially, it seemed, if the comment was better left unsaid. Cassian hadn’t managed to shed his awkward skin from youth, his impoverished background insisting that he did not belong among the preppy eighteen year olds who came to college equipped with shiny smartphones and daddy’s credit card. Both boys were labeled as “social outcasts” within their life day. Cassian had begun resigning himself to social isolation until Kay approached him and, as was his style, began saying whatever he wanted, starting with, “Bets on how many of these idiots need to get their stomachs pumped tonight?”

Add in that they had the same career plans—turns out Kay wanted to go to med school, as well—and there began the longest, and best, friendship Cassian Andor ever had.

Two years later and the pair now lived together. Where Cassian declared biochemistry as his major, Kay had decided on psychology. Unfortunately, rather than helping him understand how people worked, it only helped Kay prove what was wrong with them. Hence deducing Jyn Erso’s probability of being a psychopath.

“Remind me why you’re attracted to her?” Kay turned the page of his neuroscience book, the question casually curious.

“I’m—what?! Kay, I’m not attracted to her. Christ, why would you even say that?”

Kay stared over the top of his book, one eyebrow cocked high. “Something to do with how approximately sixty-five percent of our conversations now include mentions of Jyn Erso.”

Cassian bristled, defensive. “Because she happens to be my partner in organic chemistry, a class I need an A in to get into med school someday. This is my future she’s fucking with. Of course I’m always thinking about her.”

“You managed to connect a ketchup bottle to Jyn Erso.”

Cassian didn’t have an excuse for that one.

“Personally, I suggest you just sleep with her and get it over with. Then our lives can go back to normal.”

“I’m not attracted to her.” But he sounded petulant, even to his own ears.

“And here I thought of denial as a stage of grief, not of love.”

“Move that beaker farther away from the flame,” Jyn ordered.

Cassian tossed the lab manual at her. “Temperature should be at ninety-five degrees Celsius. That’s what the thermometer says it is, so I think I’m leaving it there.”

“You’ll speed up the metabolic rate too much and we’ll never be able to see the reaction properly.” Her words were confident in the face of the contradictory instructions.

He gave her a long stare. “Are you honestly attempting to tell me that you know better than the Ph.Ds. who wrote this?”

She seemed offended that he would ask. Without waiting for his opinion, Jyn adjusted the height of the beaker and continued with the experiment. Cassian would never admit it out loud, but the change in temperature, less than three degrees Celsius, led to what the lab instructor praised as the best example of hydroboration in the lab.  

“Captain,” Jyn announced as they cleaned their station. “I think that’s what I’ll call you, since you’ve got such a hard on for the rules.”

A week later, Jyn marched into lab with what she deemed a compromise. Cassian had never been so suspicious of anything in his life.

“Since you’re such a fan of following the rules, I edited the lab manual.” Indeed, her copy of the book had edits made throughout the text, white out covering the original text and new temperatures and mass amounts written over it in black ink. “This way, I know it’ll work and you’ll feel like you’re following instructions, rather than going rogue with me.”

“I don’t think this counts as following instructions.”

Jyn inclined her head, clearly saying Maybe, maybe not.

Glancing over his shoulder to ensure the lab instructor wouldn’t see their insubordination, Cassian followed her instructions. When, just like last week, their results were better than the rest of the lab, Jyn gave Cassian a significant look, as if expecting praise for her superior ways, which Cassian blatantly ignored.

Labs continued this way: Jyn providing superior instructions, Cassian following reluctantly. Every week, the question of how she always knew a better method danced on his tongue, but he never asked and Jyn never offered the information.

Of their three lectures a week, Jyn always skipped one and attended another. Cassian surmised that she must toss a coin in the air to decide if she the third lecture was worth her attention. Heads I go bother Cassian for an hour. Tails I give him a reprieve.

At the beginning of the semester, Cassian had worried this would mean she would demand his notes on a regular basis. She never once asked, though she must have been getting the information somewhere because she never seemed behind in the next lecture she graced with her presence. If anything, Cassian was forced to admit several weeks into the course, she remained ahead of even the most diligent students. It wasn’t enough for her to know that dienes could be formed from halides under basic conditions and alcohol under acidic conditions; she wanted to debate with the professor about the ideal conditions for the transition.

More times than Cassian cared to admit, she ended up winning those debates.

What he hated to admit even more was how often he turned to her for help in studying for the midterm. If his notes needed clarification, if he just couldn’t understand the difference between enantiomers and diastereomers, Jyn knew the answer. Asking her for help was just as useful as attending the professor’s office hours. The only thing Cassian could never figure out was how she knew all the information so easily. Maybe she had taken the class before and was repeating it; maybe she was secretly a TA infiltrating the class, like on Undercover Boss. Unfortunately for Cassian’s curiosity, Jyn tended to be just as tight lipped about her past as he was with his, so his questions remained unanswered.

The day of the exam, Jyn beat Cassian to class. She gave him half a smile as he sat down, though he barely noticed. Half his mind screamed in a panic while the other half desperately attempted to remember that panic did nothing for his ability to focus. The battle was turning to all out civil war, and Cassian worried that the only loser would be his exam grade.

“I lost at least three nights of sleep for this exam,” Cassian grumbled, unsure if he was talking to Jyn or if he was just lamenting his loss.

“That’s… dedicated,” Jyn said slowly. Somehow, Cassian got the feeling that wasn’t the word she wanted to use.

“How long did you spend studying then, Miss Know-it-all?”

She shrugged, nonchalant. “I flipped through my notes a few times.”

Cassian choked on his coffee. “You what?! Jyn, this exam is worth a third our grade.”

She merely hummed in response, flipping the page in her notebook with one hand. Taking advantage of his shock, she reached out to steal the coffee out of Cassian’s hand. Her face contorted upon tasting it. “Would you like a little coffee to go with your sugar there, Captain?”

“No one said you had to drink it,” Cassian said sullenly, moving the cup further from Jyn.

“Won’t make that mistake again.”

Rather than last second reviewing, as the exams were passed out, Cassian’s brain wondered just how strong Jyn Erso must take her coffee if a singular pack of sugar and a splash of milk counted as more sugar than coffee.

Eighty-five percent. Cassian scored an eighty-five percent on his midterm. Assuming this was before the curve—the main god that pre-med students worshipped—Cassian could finally exhale, letting out a little of his stress.

Until, of course, he saw the blue exam booklet sitting on his lab partner’s desk.

“A ninety-two?” Cassian exclaimed, grabbing the exam away from Jyn’s uninterested face. “You said you barely studied!”

“I didn’t.”

Cassian stared at her, an obvious What the fuck? expression on his face. “I call bull. No one gets a ninety-two on an o-chem exam without studying.”

“Surely you’ve taken a microbiology course, right?”

“Obviously.” What did this have to do with her acing an o-chem exam without studying?

She stared at him for a second, and spoke slowly, how one would speak to a toddler. “My father is Galen Erso.”

A few moments passed before the name clicked into place.

“Galen Erso? As in, the man who invented CRISPR, Galen Erso?”

“That would be the one.”

Only this girl, Cassian thought, would calmly proclaim her father as a world renounced scientist with that air of flippancy. CRISPR could change everything about the world of science, completely rework medical research, by giving people the ability to edit entire genomes.

“That’s amazing,” Cassian breathed, trying to remember more details of her father’s work. “I read one of his papers from a few years ago, the improvements— “

“Listen,” Jyn cut him off, “I’ve heard the whole speech before, okay? Jyn, your father is amazing! Jyn, you must be so proud! I don’t need to hear it again. Just take it as an explanation for the grade.”

Jyn stared him down for a moment as if challenging Cassian to continue his praise of her father’s work. Luckily—or maybe it was unluckily, Cassian wasn’t sure—the instructor called them to attention after a moment and Jyn took the chance to look away. Cassian, however, continued to stare at her, slack-jawed. He began to believe that, no matter what he did, he would never understand Jyn Erso.

A quick Google search that afternoon pulled up more information on Galen Erso for Cassian. As he remembered, Dr. Erso had been the original microbiologist to discover CRISPR’s ability to cut through double stranded DNA. His work had since been taken over by a Dr. Orson Krennic two years previous. The next page told him the reason.

Galen Erso had died of pancreatic cancer.

All at once, Jyn’s harsh reaction to discussing her father made sense.

Cassian Andor had a table in the library. He was there from the time his data analysis lecture let out at 2:30 until his shift at the diner began at 6, every weekday.

Cassian wouldn’t call himself superstitious. He didn’t need to sit at this table, per se, but it was his favorite table. He wanted to sit there. Far enough from the café that the incessant chatter and strong coffee smell were present but kept to a minimum, right by a window so he could see the outside world when his nose stayed in a book for hours: if they gave Academy Awards in the library, “Best Table” would be presented to his table every year.

Luckily, Cassian had only said this out loud once. Kay had been the only one listening, and he thankfully let the whole conversation bury itself and never resurface.

If there was anyone in the universe Cassian did not want to explain his love of this table to, it was Jyn Erso. The woman currently using his favorite seat at his favorite table.

“You are sitting at my table.”

She snorted without looking up from her books. “Are there assigned seats in the library I wasn’t aware of? A signup sheet I missed?”

“I always sit here.”

“Bully for you. I’m sitting here now.”

“Not anymore you’re not. Move.”

“Captain,” she sighed, finally looking up at him. “There are three more seats at this table. For Pete’s sake, sit in one.”

Huffing, Cassian took a seat and pulled out his physics textbook. For the first few minutes of work, Cassian firmly ignored Jyn’s presence at the table, forcing all his energy into three-dimensional vectors. Jyn, however, was not as dedicated to Cassian’s ideal of silence. He knew from lab that Jyn was an external processor: she would repeat measurements to herself or mutter under her breath almost constantly while they wrote observations. If she wasn’t talking, she fidgeted in some way, clicking her pen or doodling in the margins of her notes. What Cassian wasn’t accustomed to was seeing Jyn frustrated, which she definitely was now. She made several angry sounding exhales before Cassian raised his head to question what could possibly frustrate the great Jyn Erso this badly.

Jyn didn’t seem to notice him at all. Her left hand fisted the hair that traditionally fell in her face while her right hand held a pen—was that his pen? —so tightly her knuckles had turned white. In front of her sat a book of poetry and a notebook whose only notes had been harshly scribbled out. Her pen jabbed at the poem a few times, as if Jyn could stab the words away.

Cassian cleared his throat. “Having difficulties?”

Jyn glared at him with the same acidity she gave her book. “This isn’t in English,” she complained, her voice a strange mix between a growl and a whine.

Cassian pulled the book to him. E.E. Cumming’s “a connotation of infinity” stared back at him; no wonder she didn’t understand a lick of what it said. No capitalization, strange punctuation, illogical sentence structure: poetry didn’t have a clear answer like science did. It spoke to the soul, to raw emotions Cassian guessed that Jyn had shoved away years ago.  

“I can assure you it’s not in Spanish,” Cassian offered. “Poetry has a language all to itself.”

“It’s a stupid language.” Jyn’s head landed on the table, her arms forming a protective cage around it.

Cassian read the poem she was struggling with:

connotation of infinity

sharpens the temporal splendor of this night

               when souls which have forgot frivolity

in lowliness, noting the fatal flight

of world whereto this earth’s a hurled dream

 down eager avenues of lifelessness

“Souls which have forgot frivolity…” Cassian murmured, running his fingers along the words. His stomach clenched, an involuntary reflection of his childhood days without food. Visions of his parents, gone when he was just a child, flowed through his mind. These past traumas were etched deep into his soul and, traditionally, Cassian believed them to be indescribable. Apparently his brain and not the English language limited him, because E. E. Cummings understood.

Jyn, Cassian knew, had not spent her life away from tragedy. She knew the deep pain E.E. Cummings described, if only she would let herself feel it.

“Read it out loud,” Cassian urged her. “Maybe it’ll help.”

Jyn glared, but complied.

…When what’s in velvet beyond doomed thought…

“None of this is logical,” Jyn concluded at the end.

“It’s not about logic. It’s about feeling. He’s found a way to bring emotions into words.”

“I’m sorry, I thought you were a biochemistry major, not a lit major,” Jyn quipped.

Cassian shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I don’t have emotions.”

She stared at him slowly for a moment, her eyes softening. “Me neither, I suppose.”

Jyn pulled the book back to her half of the table, picking up her pen with more confidence than before. Cassian tried to turn his attention back to his physics textbook, but his eyes wandered to her movements frequently. Notes remained in her notebook without being scratched out and the tension drained out of her face.

Cassian had been in awe of her during organic; the way she floated through one of the most difficult courses at the university gave even the professors, not to mention Cassian, pause. But, in a moment of sheer surprise, Cassian found himself more taken by Jyn Erso in her moment of struggle, watching her fight beyond the difficulty and emerge victorious. As Jyn put her finishing touches on her annotations and smiled, proud of her work, Cassian knew he was in trouble.

like a woman amorous to be known;

and man, whose here is always worse than naught,

feels the tremendous yonder for his own—

Of all the people Cassian expected knocking on his door at 10 o’clock on a Friday night—not that many people frequented his and Kay’s place—Jyn Erso definitely wasn’t one of them.

“I come bearing a peace offering,” she stated when Cassian opened the door, holding a bottle of vodka in her left hand and a Chinese takeout bag in her right.

“There better be orange chicken in there,” Cassian threatened in a way of greeting, leaving the door open as an invitation.

“Kay,” Cassian addressed his lounging roommate, “this is Jyn.”

This piqued Kay’s interest enough to glance away from the crime show on the television. “Ah, the infamous lab partner.”

“Glad to know my reputation precedes me,” Jyn called from the door where she kicked off her shoes.

“Trust me,” Kay snorted, “Cassian has mentioned you.”

“Only bad things I hope.”

God forbid, but she smiled, and Cassian wanted to laugh. He wanted to throw his arm around her shoulder and pull her close, maybe even press his lips to her hairline. She looked at him, her eyes still glowing with the smile, and Cassian thought she might have been the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

He moved himself away from those thoughts quickly, offering to grab glasses and plates instead. Small as the apartment was, he could easily hear Kay’s insensitive “Cassian doesn’t trust you, which means neither do I.”

“Charming,” Jyn replied, apparently unfazed.

Cassian hurried to Jyn’s side before Kay had the chance to throw any other backhanded comments.

Kay didn’t seem too interested in continuing to insult Jyn, however. Instead, he glanced between the Jyn and Cassian quickly, no doubt analyzing their body language and movements. “Think I’ll retire early, kids,” he concluded, getting up from the couch. “Don’t drink that entire bottle tonight, or there’s a good chance you won’t be awake for work in the morning, Cassian.”

Jyn snorted as he walked away. “So is he your roommate or your house mother?”

Cassian shrugged, reaching for the food as a distraction.

Ignoring Kay’s advice, the bottle of vodka neared empty by the time the fried rice was gone and they had finished fighting over the last piece of orange chicken. Turns out the casual drinking, the characters on TV providing background noises, was the key to unlocking the story of how Jyn grew into the laziest, smartest, most standoffish pain in the ass Cassian had ever met.  

“The science, well, it was my father’s whole life. He practically lived at the lab, only coming home to sleep and shower and maybe eat. It drove my mother insane for years before she left. But,” Jyn paused, giving a small snort. “She wasn’t much the parenting type herself, so I was shoved off onto my father in the custody hearings. Nothing was important enough to stop his work, though, so I joined him in the lab. I grew up playing with centrifuges and memorizing Hess’s Law. For a fifteenth birthday present, I became a full member of his lab.” Another swig of vodka. “I could have gotten my bachelor’s degree years ago, maybe even my master’s.”

Cassian shook his head. “See, that’s what I don’t understand. You’re wasting your time around us peasants and our poorly calibrated machines. Why? Is this some form of rebellion for you?”

Jyn stayed quiet for a second. “He died. He died and I couldn’t stand to look at the lab. Everything I knew about science, everything I loved about it… All of it was tainted. With memories of him. So I took off, ran away from everything I knew. But, without all of it, I didn’t know who I was.” She turned, smiling at Cassian again. “So I’m here until I figure out.”

Their faces, Cassian’s alcohol fogged brain belatedly noticed, were much closer than he realized. His hand had snaked its way behind her shoulder and hers rested on his knee. His eyes stared into hers, though he tried to ignore quick glances she kept giving his lips.

“You don’t drink much, do you?” Jyn asked, her voice softer than he had ever heard it. Her fingers moved, just as softly, to his lips, lightly outlining them, following as he shook his head.

“I don’t have time to waste on drinking and a hangover.”

“It’s not always a waste, you know.”

“Oh really? What’s the benefit?”

“This.”

And she kissed him.

Her lips were gentle, barely brushing his. She pulled back after a second, but Cassian followed, matching the sweet kiss she had given him. The gesture was too romantic for the setting, the cops on the TV still attempting to solve some bloody murder, empty take out containers littering the coffee table, the lights around them harsh, designed for studying, not romantic trysts on the couch.

But, god, she tasted good. Cassian couldn’t resist meeting her lips with more force, winding his hand into her hair and grabbing hold. He didn’t mind in the slightest when Jyn took charge, the way she did with everything in her life, by swinging one of her legs over his. Cassian bit her bottom lip and, if her answering moan was any indication, she enjoyed it just as much as he did.

After a few minutes of messing up hair and battling tongues, Jyn reached down to the hem of his shirt, toying with the muscles of his abs; her cold fingers snapped Cassian back to the room. He groaned pulling away from her lips, and glanced at the clock. 2:04 AM.

“Jyn?”

She didn’t respond, her lips and teeth occupied against Cassian’s throat.

“Jyn, I have to be at work in six hours. I need to sleep.”

With a sigh, she pulled away, moving off his lap and standing up. With her lips swollen and her hair beautifully disarrayed thanks to Cassian’s wandering hands, the last thing he wanted to do was let her go. As if sensing this, she reached back for him, placing a hand on his face and one last kiss on his lips.

“I’ll see you in lab,” Cassian whispered.

“Not if I see you first.”

She calmly gathered her shoes at his door and left without looking back. Cassian exhaled, a weird mixture of a groan and a sigh. What had he just done?

Two weeks later, Jyn appeared at his door again, armed again with vodka and take out bags.

“Indian this time. Variety is the spice of life and all that.” She didn’t even wait for Cassian to respond before forcing her way through his front door.

“Jyn Erso and the revolting smell of curry? Spare me, please,” Kay called from the kitchen.

“Ah, Kay, too kind for words, as usual.” Considering most people’s reaction to Kay, Jyn’s sarcastic response was nothing.

“No need to worry,” Kay shot back, “I won’t be staying long. In the words of that little wizard boy, ‘I’ll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I don’t exist.’” With that, he closed the door to his room.

Jyn sent a questioning glance towards Cassian.

“He tends to say the first thing that crosses his brain and there was a Harry Potter marathon on this weekend.”

Jyn still looked bewildered, not that Cassian could blame her, but seemed to accept Kay’s behavior. She moved to their spot on the couch—when had it become their spot?—to sit down. Cassian went to the kitchen, returning with two glasses of coke, which he poured a generous portion of vodka into. They ate and drank in silence for a few minutes, their attention on the TV, before Cassian turned to her.

“Did you have more life secrets to share?”

“No,” Jyn answered, fiddling with the various take out boxes out on the coffee table. “I figured we could do you this week. After all, you could fill out an entire dossier on my life.”

He could, he supposed. He could fill out where she was born, her skills and her weaknesses, the labs she had worked in and what experiments she knew best. However, what Cassian wanted to know wouldn’t fit into the cold, hard facts of a dossier. Cassian wanted to know what he looked like before her coffee in the morning, her favorite food to grab when she was still studying at two in the morning, what she remembers of her mother, if she picked up her constant muttering from her father.

He wanted to know her in a way he had never wanted to know anyone before, and that scared him.

Jyn misinterpreted his silence as reluctance to speak about himself, because when she spoke again, it was in a smooth and reassuring tone, her eyes innocent and inviting. “You don’t have to, of course, it’s just… Trust goes both ways, Captain.”

“I trust you.” And he did. Idly, he wondered when that happened. “I just wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Where’s home?”

“Here, I guess,” Cassian shrugged. Naturally she would start with the most complicated question. “First place I ever felt wanted.”

“You didn’t when you were growing up?”

Cassian snorted. “My parents died when I was six, so a cousin took in my older brother and I. We were told to keep out of the way, most of the time.” The place he called home for a little over a decade was deep in the inner city, surrounded by gangs and violence. Memories of all the strange men and women, his cousin’s drug suppliers and dealers, Cassian would learn later in life, that would come and go in their tiny apartment filled his mind. He and his brother would be shoved into a backroom and told to keep quiet.

“The only place I enjoyed was school,” Cassian continued quietly, refusing to look at Jyn even though he could feel her gaze heavy on his face. “I was good at it, you know? Things made sense to me.

“But, I was small, couldn’t pack a very good punch, and the other kids knew it.” How many times had Cassian come home with a black eye or a bloody nose? “My brother would always fix me up, tell me it would be okay, that the other kids were just jealous. A few years later, he got caught in a gang fight. Ended up dead in the middle of the street about a block from home.”

Jyn gave no reaction, but her gaze slid away from his face. He wondered if he had gone too far with the story—he had only ever entrusted Kay with the story of his childhood before—and what her reaction would be. He wouldn’t blame her if she walked away now, deemed him too damaged to deal with, helpless beyond repair. She didn’t get up to leave, as Cassian half expected. She only gently probed further.

“Then how did you get here?”

“Hope.”

“Hope?” She echoed back, clear disbelief in her tone.

“My life’s been built on hope. And time management skills.”

She gave half a laugh, but obviously that explanation was not enough.

“One summer, some idiot from my neighborhood broke my nose and gave me this.” Cassian lifted his shirt to show a three-inch scar running across his abs. Memories of blood and pain broke through long standing barriers in Cassian’s mind. He fought against the onslaught of gruesome recollections, knowing they had the power to drown him. He fished, instead, for the shining beacon of hope that emerge from the wreckage of his childhood. “The doctor who stitched me up understood, said he came from a gang-infected area too. He told me I didn’t have to stay there, that if I worked hard I could get away and live the life I wanted.

“So I did what he said. I worked my ass off to get here.” Two jobs during the school year, three during the summer. Locking himself in his room for hours to study until he fell asleep on his textbooks. Avoiding others at school to prevent bloody noses and a police record. “The only other option was to rot in that hellhole like my cousin. Probably die bloody like my brother. My parents, my brother… they wanted better for me than that. I didn’t want to disappoint them. So I made something of myself.”

“Going to get your name on a Nobel Prize for medicine someday, Captain Andor?”

He shook his head. “I just want to help people.”

“Like that doctor helped you?”

He finally met Jyn’s gaze. “Exactly.”

She sighed and shifted closer to him on the couch. Silence overtook them for a few minutes. Jyn, with tentative fingers, reached out to rub a hand through Cassian’s hair. He relaxed into her touch, allowing her to comfort him in a way no one had ever offered before.

“You must have thought my story was so shallow. No wonder you hated me.”

“I didn’t hate you,” Cassian quickly disagreed, “Nor do I think you’re shallow.”

Their eyes met, both of them vulnerable and open in ways they weren’t accustomed to. Jyn’s hand shifted from his hair to his cheek and he leaned into it. He, in turn, reached forward to brush her hair away from her face as he’d been longing to do for so long. Slowly, he leaned forward to press his lips against hers. Like their last kiss on this couch, it was gentle, filled with emotion that made Cassian’s heart ache. They held each other close as their lips brushed over and over.

Cassian pushed her onto her back, his body hovering over her. He planted his arms on either side of her head, careful to keep his weight off her, until she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their hips met and Cassian groaned. His lips drifted from her lips, down to the column of her neck.

“Cassian,” Jyn breathed as he bit the skin lightly. Her hands roamed his back, reaching under his shirt. She traced around to his abs, reaching for the scar Cassian had showed her earlier. She mapped the skin there, memorizing the physical marks of his life story he had just shared. Looking back into her dark eyes, Cassian left a sense of intimacy he had been missing his whole life.

“Stay with me tonight,” he whispered.

She nodded, pulling his head back to hers for a kiss. After a moment, they shifted around, Cassian spooning behind her, his arms pulling her close to his chest. Their limbs tangled awkwardly in the transition before finally settling comfortably. Cassian reached for her hand, holding it tight.

“Good night, Captain.” The quiet words drifted along with Cassian as he fell asleep.

“Oh, good, she’s still here.”

Surprised by Kay’s booming voice, Cassian jumped up, nearly knocking Jyn off the couch in the process.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I startle you?”

Cassian glared at his roommate through tired eyes. Kay only sighed before throwing up his hands in surrender and walking into the kitchen. Jyn rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, yawning loudly.

“I either need another two hours of sleep or two cups of coffee,” she complained.

“There’s a great breakfast place about two blocks from here,” Cassian offered. “They serve an excellent cup of coffee.”

“Are you asking me on a date, Cassian Andor?”

He couldn’t resist returning the smile she gave him. “Only if you want it to be one, Jyn Erso.”

“I’ll grab my shoes then.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “It’s about time you decided to buy me a meal. I’ve already brought you takeout twice.”

About halfway to the diner, Cassian’s phone buzzed. He pulled it out to reveal a text from Kay.

She’s going to be around a lot, isn’t she?

Yes, Cassian decided, beaming down at their intertwined hands, Jyn Erso was going to be around a lot.

[iwantingsbuzz-blog]

See The Top 10 banned toys and their particular backstories

Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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The most truly effective 10 banned toys through history mainly included items that caused some serious problems for children. 

Swipe right through to see what toys made record and why.

The most notable 10 prohibited toys through history mostly included items that caused some serious problems for children. 

Swipe right through to see just what toys made record and just why.

Picture: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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10. Spanish Barbie

Backstory: In 1999, followers with this preferred style doll had been extremely upset that she had been putting on a matador's outfit, usually used whenever bulls are ritually killed in a bullring as a public spectacle. Barbie followers, including actress Alicia Silverstone, published letters to Mattel asking they discontinue the toy.

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10. Spanish Barbie

Backstory: In 1999, fans for this popular fashion doll were very upset that she ended up being putting on a matador's outfit, generally used whenever bulls tend to be ritually killed in a bullring as a public

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picture: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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9. Air Pirates comic

Backstory: The underground comic, Air Pirates Funnies, was made by a small grouping of San Francisco-based cartoonists in 1971. The comic portrayed Disney characters engaging in EXTREMELY adult behavior. Disney sued, alleging copyright laws violation. In 1978, the Ninth Circuit ruled against the Air Pirates.

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9. Air Pirates comic

Backstory: The underground comic, Air Pirates Funnies, is made by a group of San Francisco-based cartoonists in 1971. The comic portrayed Disney characters participating in REALLY adult

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Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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8. Snacktime Child Cabbage Patch Doll

Backstory: The Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids showcased battery-powered technical jaws. Equipped with “real chewing activity” this model held chewing, even when young ones got their hair and hands caught in doll's mouth. Mattel recalled all of them in 1997.

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8. Snacktime Kid Cabbage Patch Doll

Backstory: The Cabbage Patch Snacktime toddlers featured battery-powered mechanical jaws. Armed with “real chewing action” this toy kept chewing, even when young ones got their

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picture: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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7. Clackers

Backstory: Clackers, also referred to as Knockers and Click Clacks, contains two big acrylic balls, which hung on either end of huge sequence. Both balls would swing apart and together, making the noisy clacking noise that offered the doll its name. If swung way too hard, the acrylic balls would shatter, delivering flying shrapnel every where. Clackers had been prohibited in 1985.

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7. Clackers

Backstory: Clackers, also called Knockers and Click Clacks, contained two big acrylic balls, which hung on either end of much string. The two balls would swing apart and collectively, making

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picture: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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6. Belt Buckle Gun

Backstory: In 1959, Mattel introduced the Belt Buckle Derringer Toy Gun. To naive criminals, this original gear buckle seemed safe. But as soon as the user extended their tummy, the firearm swung completely, firing a toy round and a cap. Sadly, the caps could possibly be inadvertently ignited by rubbing and cause serious burns.

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6. Belt Buckle Gun

Backstory: In 1959, Mattel introduced the Belt Buckle Derringer Toy Gun. To unsuspecting criminals, this excellent belt buckle seemed benign. However, as soon as the individual longer their tummy, the

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Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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5. Sky Dancers

Backstory: Sky Dancers had been a Barbie inspired helicopter-like traveling model. Added to a mechanical base, after the cable was pulled, the Sky Dancer would twirl high to the sky. The hard synthetic Sky Dancer's propeller-like wings travelled rapidly in unstable directions, striking people and causing temporary blindness, broken teeth, face lacerations, plus one mild concussion. Galoob recalled almost 9 million Sky Dancers in 2000.

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5. Sky Dancers

Backstory: Sky Dancers had been a Barbie inspired helicopter-like traveling doll. Positioned on a mechanical base, when the cord had been pulled, the Sky Dancer would twirl high into the sky. The tough synthetic Sky

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picture: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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4. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher

Backstory: Red missles, about 1 1/4" lengthy, made for the 1979 Battlestar Galactica toys, were just about the perfect size to lodge in a young child's neck. Prior to the missle recall, Mattel added stickers towards the toys caution "do maybe not place or fire-red missiles into mouth or towards face."

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4. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher

Backstory: Red missles, about 1 1/4" long, created for the 1979 Battlestar Galactica toys, were pretty much the right dimensions to lodge in a kid's throat. Ahead of the

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Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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3. Yo-Yo Water Balls

Backstory: Illinois, nj and nyc have got all banned the Yo-Yo liquid basketball. The Yo-Yo liquid baseball is made of flammable diesel hydrocarbons. The elastic, sticky cable can wrap-around a young child's throat, causing strangulation.

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3. Yo-Yo liquid Balls

Backstory: Illinois, nj and ny have got all banned the Yo-Yo liquid basketball. The Yo-Yo Water baseball consists of combustible diesel hydrocarbons. The stretchy, sticky cable can wrap around a

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Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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2. Garden Darts

Backstory: Heavily weighted and solid metal, Garden Darts can pierce whatever they hit! Lawn darts are in charge of over 7,000 accidents. On Dec. 19, 1988, the Consumer item protection Commission banned yard darts from sale in the United States.

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2. Lawn Darts

Backstory: Heavily weighted and solid metal, Lawn Darts can pierce whatever they hit! Lawn darts have already been accountable for over 7,000 injuries. On Dec. 19, 1988, the customer item Safety

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Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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1. Atomic Energy Laboratory

Backstory: In 1951, A.C. Gilbert, inventor associated with ERECTOR set, released the U-238 Atomic Energy Lab. Using genuine radioactive products, you could witness mist tracks produced by particles of ionizing radiation. The ready included four Uranium-bearing ore samples, and initially sold for $49.50.

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1. Atomic Energy Laboratory

Backstory: In 1951, A.C. Gilbert, inventor regarding the ERECTOR set, circulated the U-238 Atomic Energy Lab. Using real radioactive materials, one could witness mist tracks produced by

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Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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Dishonorable mention: Tramp Figure

Backstory: An activity figure from the 1990 movie "Dick Tracy," Steve the Tramp ended up being remembered when Reverend Donald Wildmon complained the figure had been insensitive towards homeless. The bundle claimed he had been an "ignorant bum....you'll smell him if your wanting to see him" in which he ended up being "stinking within the town sewers."

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Dishonorable mention: Tramp Figure

Backstory: An activity figure through the 1990 film "Dick Tracy," Steve the Tramp ended up being recalled whenever Reverend Donald Wildmon complained the figure ended up being insensitive towards

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picture: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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Dishonorable mention: Teletubby Po

Backstory: In 1998, Playskool revealed a 14-inch Po Talking Doll, based on the figures from Teletubbies tv system. Many consumers believed they heard really improper language like the expression "bite my butt." The Po speaking doll was taken off store shelves in 1998.

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Dishonorable mention: Teletubby Po

Backstory: In 1998, Playskool revealed a 14-inch Po speaking Doll, according to among the characters from Teletubbies television system. Many consumers thought they heard

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Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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Dishonorable mention: SpongeBob Address Book

Backstory: In 2007, these completely licensed SpongeBob Address Books were prohibited by the CPSC. The paint regarding material spiral bindings contained exorbitant degrees of lead.

Dishonorable mention: SpongeBob Address Book

Backstory: In 2007, these completely accredited SpongeBob Address Books had been prohibited because of the CPSC. The paint regarding the metal spiral bindings contained excessive quantities of lead.

Picture: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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Dishonorable mention: Aqua Dots

Backstory: This craft set developed enjoyable styles using small coloured beads. The beads fused collectively whenever dispersed with water. Unfortunately, if the beads were swallowed, the layer could "morph" into gamma hydroxyl butyrate, causing unconsciousness, seizures, and drowsiness. The toy had been banned in 2007.

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Dishonorable mention: Aqua Dots

Backstory: This art set created enjoyable styles utilizing tiny coloured beads. The beads fused together when dispersed with water. Regrettably, in the event that beads were swallowed, the layer

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Photo: Gary Doss/Burlingame Museum Of PEZ Memorabilia

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Top 10 prohibited toys and their particular backstories

Back once again to Gallery

Bodily damage, lead, and a letter from actress Alicia Silverstone are simply some of the factors why particular toys happen prohibited through history.

The list of the most notable 10 banned toys was compiled by Gary Doss, curator of the Burlingame Museum of PEZ Memorabilia and Banned Toy Museum. 

Just about any model that made the very best 10, and four honorable mentions, were banned for causing some form of unforeseen problems for young ones. Probably the most notable toys had been the Sky Dancers introduced by Galoob into the 1990s.

BLEW UP: Why a Houston lady sent a giant inflatable Donald Trump chicken to Sen. Ted Cruz's office

Today Using:

After processing for personal bankruptcy, Toys R Us isn't quitting. CEO Dave Brandon claims the organization is adding to its web existence and revamping stores with a focus on interactive areas and augmented truth. Brandon told American TODAY your company thinks the additional target AR alongside interactive in-store experiences may help grow sales. The latest software function will allow visitors animate the stores' giraffe mascot, navigate the store, shoot virtual baskets, care for a virtual infant plus.

Media: Wochit

The toys were a helicopter-like flying model in which a cable was taken to launch a doll into the air. By Summer 2000, Galoob ended up being forced to remember nearly 9 million Sky Dancers after the organization "received 150 injury reports which include attention harm (scratched corneas and incidents of temporary loss of sight), a moderate concussion, a broken rib, broken teeth and facial lacerations that needed stitches," the Consumer item Safety Commission (CPSC) reported in Oct. 2000.

Galoob decided the matter with CPSC and denied it violated the customer item Safety Act or just about any other legislation administered by percentage. The company was forced to pay a civil penalty of $400,000.

Galoob was bought by Hasbro in 1998 for $220 million, the bay area Chronicle reported.

RATED: The most well-behaved Houston-area large schools

One doll that didn't result in the record, amazingly, was a PEZ dispenser through the 1980s created like a small handgun. 

The dispenser, which includes become a well known item on eBay where a made use of weapon can aim for $324, captured Reddit's interest Sunday with several individuals wondering why the business believed this is a proper design.

"Pez made three different styles of guns. All of these worked like a real firearm," Doss told Chron.com Tuesday. "there clearly was a 'clip' which was full of PEZ candy. You'd slide the video into the handle, like an actual firearm, and fire out Pez candy. You could effortlessly strike a target 10 legs away."

PEZ gun

The PEZ guns had been fundamentally discontinued because, Doss thinks, consumer interest fell.

an ask for remark ended up being left with PEZ with regards to its firearms.

Swipe through the gallery above to know about others toys which were banned through history.

[drugtests0]

Is Saliva Testing Right For Your Workplace?

Deciding which drug test to apply for new employees can be daunting for all employers…and for a variety of reasons. First, there is no single wonder test without holes in its application. Secondly, the state in which an employer operates determines which methods infringe on civil liberties—but only if the federal government does not have jurisdiction. The federal rules are invoked if the employer is a government agency or a contractor to a federal agency that provides a service where safety to workers and the public may be at risk—most generally trains, planes, and automobiles, but also in the military and construction-related work.

As a good rule of thumb, for most private employers it will be state laws that govern their use of drug testing. Up to now, most employers have opted for urine testing, the proverbial tried and true, but only to a certain extent is it true. Its documented vulnerability to cheating, mostly because of the steps required, and its drug-use window of detection (only up to 72 hours before the test) are two main detractors when compared to other methods.

Blood and hair tests are the other options, but these are clunky in terms of wait time, intrusiveness, expense, and overall convenience, in spite of their comparable solidity in detection. However, saliva testing, the collection of oral fluids with the use of a swab, is edging closer to urine testing in popularity. Greatly due to better technology since employer drug testing was instituted in the 1980s, saliva tests can be correlated more closely to blood concentrations. This advancement, according to government lab results, lends to saliva’s ability to indicate drug use (at least within the previous 48 hours) without question of its validity. Technological strides, though not proven to be responsible for an increase in marijuana detection via oral-fluid tests, are possibly part of the reason saliva testing has recently risen in its detection rate of the No. 1 drug choice among American workers. For many years, it was noticeably inferior to urine testing for detection of marijuana. Only in the past five or six years have studies shown a higher rate of marijuana detection.

The Increasingly Popular Saliva Drug Testing Trend

Following are some of the reasons employers are increasingly opting for saliva tests as their primary means of screening new and even longer-standing employees.

Cheat proof. Because saliva testing can be conducted entirely on site at the workplace, it avoids the risks of tampering, dilution, or substitution—the main methods that workers use to sidestep detection. On-site application means no lab or medical experts are needed; the sample is, therefore, not transported, and results are available to the employer’s hiring manager or human resources department the same day the test is administered.

Drug-detection window. Because saliva can detect drug use within a window of 1 to 2 days, not too shy of urine’s capability (1 to 3 days), it passes muster for many employers who used urine testing in the past.

Convenience, no outside costs. As mentioned in regard to being cheat proof, a saliva test is a one-stop shop. It does not leave the building. What is tested in the workplace stays in the workplace. It offers total employer control and avoids the need of a private space for administering, let alone gender-specific spaces. Saliva tests eliminate excessive lab fees and experts to analyze samples. It does, however, require the procurement of a drug-testing service to provide the training and needed equipment, which is easily storable and portable from one cabinet to the next.

Respectful. Saliva tests are non-intrusive. They do not require needles as in blood tests, cutting of any hair, or peeing in a container off-site and a return of the sample, which all can be vulnerable to privacy violations in various ways.

Versatility. Urine tests cannot detect drugs used within four hours before the test, whereas oral fluids can detect such recent usage. Therefore, saliva testing is most effective for random drug tests and post-accident tests. (Pay heed to your state’s laws, however, when administering random or post-accident tests.) And, though it is playing catch-up to urine tests in regard to marijuana detection, saliva tests prove more sensitive than urine tests to detection of cocaine, opiates, and methamphetamines.

Affordable. Though setup and equipment maintenance are required after hiring a drug-testing service, the cost of saliva testing is less than blood or hair testing and very comparable to urine tests, if not decidedly cheaper in the long run.

So, are there any cons to saliva testing?

As always, the answer is yes. There are downsides to oral-fluid testing, as there are in all the other aforementioned methods. For instance, saliva, like urine, cannot indicate historical usage of drugs. So, if marijuana, cocaine, or another illicit drug is detected, there is no way of telling how often the tested person uses the drug.

Furthermore, saliva tests do not pass go with federal work-sites or those who contract to federal entities. Urine and hair tests are the standard for these workplaces, as mandated by federal law. However, the U.S. agency responsible for behavioral health advocacy and leadership is making the case for allowing saliva testing at federal work-sites. So, only time will tell if saliva testing has what it takes to cut it when it comes to government testing.

from https://drugtestsinbulk.com/blog/is-saliva-testing-right-for-your-workplace-2/ from http://drugtestsinbulk0.blogspot.com/2017/02/is-saliva-testing-right-for-your.html from http://salivadrugtest0.blogspot.com/2017/02/is-saliva-testing-right-for-your.html

[thersatetreaul]

Is Saliva Testing Right For Your Workplace?

Deciding which drug test to apply for new employees can be daunting for all employers…and for a variety of reasons. First, there is no single wonder test without holes in its application. Secondly, the state in which an employer operates determines which methods infringe on civil liberties—but only if the federal government does not have jurisdiction. The federal rules are invoked if the employer is a government agency or a contractor to a federal agency that provides a service where safety to workers and the public may be at risk—most generally trains, planes, and automobiles, but also in the military and construction-related work.

As a good rule of thumb, for most private employers it will be state laws that govern their use of drug testing. Up to now, most employers have opted for urine testing, the proverbial tried and true, but only to a certain extent is it true. Its documented vulnerability to cheating, mostly because of the steps required, and its drug-use window of detection (only up to 72 hours before the test) are two main detractors when compared to other methods.

Blood and hair tests are the other options, but these are clunky in terms of wait time, intrusiveness, expense, and overall convenience, in spite of their comparable solidity in detection. However, saliva testing, the collection of oral fluids with the use of a swab, is edging closer to urine testing in popularity. Greatly due to better technology since employer drug testing was instituted in the 1980s, saliva tests can be correlated more closely to blood concentrations. This advancement, according to government lab results, lends to saliva’s ability to indicate drug use (at least within the previous 48 hours) without question of its validity. Technological strides, though not proven to be responsible for an increase in marijuana detection via oral-fluid tests, are possibly part of the reason saliva testing has recently risen in its detection rate of the No. 1 drug choice among American workers. For many years, it was noticeably inferior to urine testing for detection of marijuana. Only in the past five or six years have studies shown a higher rate of marijuana detection.

The Increasingly Popular Saliva Drug Testing Trend

Following are some of the reasons employers are increasingly opting for saliva tests as their primary means of screening new and even longer-standing employees.

Cheat proof. Because saliva testing can be conducted entirely on site at the workplace, it avoids the risks of tampering, dilution, or substitution—the main methods that workers use to sidestep detection. On-site application means no lab or medical experts are needed; the sample is, therefore, not transported, and results are available to the employer’s hiring manager or human resources department the same day the test is administered.

Drug-detection window. Because saliva can detect drug use within a window of 1 to 2 days, not too shy of urine’s capability (1 to 3 days), it passes muster for many employers who used urine testing in the past.

Convenience, no outside costs. As mentioned in regard to being cheat proof, a saliva test is a one-stop shop. It does not leave the building. What is tested in the workplace stays in the workplace. It offers total employer control and avoids the need of a private space for administering, let alone gender-specific spaces. Saliva tests eliminate excessive lab fees and experts to analyze samples. It does, however, require the procurement of a drug-testing service to provide the training and needed equipment, which is easily storable and portable from one cabinet to the next.

Respectful. Saliva tests are non-intrusive. They do not require needles as in blood tests, cutting of any hair, or peeing in a container off-site and a return of the sample, which all can be vulnerable to privacy violations in various ways.

Versatility. Urine tests cannot detect drugs used within four hours before the test, whereas oral fluids can detect such recent usage. Therefore, saliva testing is most effective for random drug tests and post-accident tests. (Pay heed to your state’s laws, however, when administering random or post-accident tests.) And, though it is playing catch-up to urine tests in regard to marijuana detection, saliva tests prove more sensitive than urine tests to detection of cocaine, opiates, and methamphetamines.

Affordable. Though setup and equipment maintenance are required after hiring a drug-testing service, the cost of saliva testing is less than blood or hair testing and very comparable to urine tests, if not decidedly cheaper in the long run.

So, are there any cons to saliva testing?

As always, the answer is yes. There are downsides to oral-fluid testing, as there are in all the other aforementioned methods. For instance, saliva, like urine, cannot indicate historical usage of drugs. So, if marijuana, cocaine, or another illicit drug is detected, there is no way of telling how often the tested person uses the drug.

Furthermore, saliva tests do not pass go with federal work-sites or those who contract to federal entities. Urine and hair tests are the standard for these workplaces, as mandated by federal law. However, the U.S. agency responsible for behavioral health advocacy and leadership is making the case for allowing saliva testing at federal work-sites. So, only time will tell if saliva testing has what it takes to cut it when it comes to government testing.

from https://drugtestsinbulk.com/blog/is-saliva-testing-right-for-your-workplace-2/ from http://drugtestsinbulk0.tumblr.com/post/157632234234

[corydelano]

Is Saliva Testing Right For Your Workplace?

Deciding which drug test to apply for new employees can be daunting for all employers…and for a variety of reasons. First, there is no single wonder test without holes in its application. Secondly, the state in which an employer operates determines which methods infringe on civil liberties—but only if the federal government does not have jurisdiction. The federal rules are invoked if the employer is a government agency or a contractor to a federal agency that provides a service where safety to workers and the public may be at risk—most generally trains, planes, and automobiles, but also in the military and construction-related work.

As a good rule of thumb, for most private employers it will be state laws that govern their use of drug testing. Up to now, most employers have opted for urine testing, the proverbial tried and true, but only to a certain extent is it true. Its documented vulnerability to cheating, mostly because of the steps required, and its drug-use window of detection (only up to 72 hours before the test) are two main detractors when compared to other methods.

Blood and hair tests are the other options, but these are clunky in terms of wait time, intrusiveness, expense, and overall convenience, in spite of their comparable solidity in detection. However, saliva testing, the collection of oral fluids with the use of a swab, is edging closer to urine testing in popularity. Greatly due to better technology since employer drug testing was instituted in the 1980s, saliva tests can be correlated more closely to blood concentrations. This advancement, according to government lab results, lends to saliva’s ability to indicate drug use (at least within the previous 48 hours) without question of its validity. Technological strides, though not proven to be responsible for an increase in marijuana detection via oral-fluid tests, are possibly part of the reason saliva testing has recently risen in its detection rate of the No. 1 drug choice among American workers. For many years, it was noticeably inferior to urine testing for detection of marijuana. Only in the past five or six years have studies shown a higher rate of marijuana detection.

The Increasingly Popular Saliva Drug Testing Trend

Following are some of the reasons employers are increasingly opting for saliva tests as their primary means of screening new and even longer-standing employees.

Cheat proof. Because saliva testing can be conducted entirely on site at the workplace, it avoids the risks of tampering, dilution, or substitution—the main methods that workers use to sidestep detection. On-site application means no lab or medical experts are needed; the sample is, therefore, not transported, and results are available to the employer’s hiring manager or human resources department the same day the test is administered.

Drug-detection window. Because saliva can detect drug use within a window of 1 to 2 days, not too shy of urine’s capability (1 to 3 days), it passes muster for many employers who used urine testing in the past.

Convenience, no outside costs. As mentioned in regard to being cheat proof, a saliva test is a one-stop shop. It does not leave the building. What is tested in the workplace stays in the workplace. It offers total employer control and avoids the need of a private space for administering, let alone gender-specific spaces. Saliva tests eliminate excessive lab fees and experts to analyze samples. It does, however, require the procurement of a drug-testing service to provide the training and needed equipment, which is easily storable and portable from one cabinet to the next.

Respectful. Saliva tests are non-intrusive. They do not require needles as in blood tests, cutting of any hair, or peeing in a container off-site and a return of the sample, which all can be vulnerable to privacy violations in various ways.

Versatility. Urine tests cannot detect drugs used within four hours before the test, whereas oral fluids can detect such recent usage. Therefore, saliva testing is most effective for random drug tests and post-accident tests. (Pay heed to your state’s laws, however, when administering random or post-accident tests.) And, though it is playing catch-up to urine tests in regard to marijuana detection, saliva tests prove more sensitive than urine tests to detection of cocaine, opiates, and methamphetamines.

Affordable. Though setup and equipment maintenance are required after hiring a drug-testing service, the cost of saliva testing is less than blood or hair testing and very comparable to urine tests, if not decidedly cheaper in the long run.

So, are there any cons to saliva testing?

As always, the answer is yes. There are downsides to oral-fluid testing, as there are in all the other aforementioned methods. For instance, saliva, like urine, cannot indicate historical usage of drugs. So, if marijuana, cocaine, or another illicit drug is detected, there is no way of telling how often the tested person uses the drug.

Furthermore, saliva tests do not pass go with federal work-sites or those who contract to federal entities. Urine and hair tests are the standard for these workplaces, as mandated by federal law. However, the U.S. agency responsible for behavioral health advocacy and leadership is making the case for allowing saliva testing at federal work-sites. So, only time will tell if saliva testing has what it takes to cut it when it comes to government testing.

from https://drugtestsinbulk.com/blog/is-saliva-testing-right-for-your-workplace-2/ from http://drugtestsinbulk0.blogspot.com/2017/02/is-saliva-testing-right-for-your.html

[oraldrugtest]

Is Saliva Testing Right For Your Workplace?

Deciding which drug test to apply for new employees can be daunting for all employers…and for a variety of reasons. First, there is no single wonder test without holes in its application. Secondly, the state in which an employer operates determines which methods infringe on civil liberties—but only if the federal government does not have jurisdiction. The federal rules are invoked if the employer is a government agency or a contractor to a federal agency that provides a service where safety to workers and the public may be at risk—most generally trains, planes, and automobiles, but also in the military and construction-related work.

As a good rule of thumb, for most private employers it will be state laws that govern their use of drug testing. Up to now, most employers have opted for urine testing, the proverbial tried and true, but only to a certain extent is it true. Its documented vulnerability to cheating, mostly because of the steps required, and its drug-use window of detection (only up to 72 hours before the test) are two main detractors when compared to other methods.

Blood and hair tests are the other options, but these are clunky in terms of wait time, intrusiveness, expense, and overall convenience, in spite of their comparable solidity in detection. However, saliva testing, the collection of oral fluids with the use of a swab, is edging closer to urine testing in popularity. Greatly due to better technology since employer drug testing was instituted in the 1980s, saliva tests can be correlated more closely to blood concentrations. This advancement, according to government lab results, lends to saliva’s ability to indicate drug use (at least within the previous 48 hours) without question of its validity. Technological strides, though not proven to be responsible for an increase in marijuana detection via oral-fluid tests, are possibly part of the reason saliva testing has recently risen in its detection rate of the No. 1 drug choice among American workers. For many years, it was noticeably inferior to urine testing for detection of marijuana. Only in the past five or six years have studies shown a higher rate of marijuana detection.

The Increasingly Popular Saliva Drug Testing Trend

Following are some of the reasons employers are increasingly opting for saliva tests as their primary means of screening new and even longer-standing employees.

Cheat proof. Because saliva testing can be conducted entirely on site at the workplace, it avoids the risks of tampering, dilution, or substitution—the main methods that workers use to sidestep detection. On-site application means no lab or medical experts are needed; the sample is, therefore, not transported, and results are available to the employer’s hiring manager or human resources department the same day the test is administered.

Drug-detection window. Because saliva can detect drug use within a window of 1 to 2 days, not too shy of urine’s capability (1 to 3 days), it passes muster for many employers who used urine testing in the past.

Convenience, no outside costs. As mentioned in regard to being cheat proof, a saliva test is a one-stop shop. It does not leave the building. What is tested in the workplace stays in the workplace. It offers total employer control and avoids the need of a private space for administering, let alone gender-specific spaces. Saliva tests eliminate excessive lab fees and experts to analyze samples. It does, however, require the procurement of a drug-testing service to provide the training and needed equipment, which is easily storable and portable from one cabinet to the next.

Respectful. Saliva tests are non-intrusive. They do not require needles as in blood tests, cutting of any hair, or peeing in a container off-site and a return of the sample, which all can be vulnerable to privacy violations in various ways.

Versatility. Urine tests cannot detect drugs used within four hours before the test, whereas oral fluids can detect such recent usage. Therefore, saliva testing is most effective for random drug tests and post-accident tests. (Pay heed to your state’s laws, however, when administering random or post-accident tests.) And, though it is playing catch-up to urine tests in regard to marijuana detection, saliva tests prove more sensitive than urine tests to detection of cocaine, opiates, and methamphetamines.

Affordable. Though setup and equipment maintenance are required after hiring a drug-testing service, the cost of saliva testing is less than blood or hair testing and very comparable to urine tests, if not decidedly cheaper in the long run.

So, are there any cons to saliva testing?

As always, the answer is yes. There are downsides to oral-fluid testing, as there are in all the other aforementioned methods. For instance, saliva, like urine, cannot indicate historical usage of drugs. So, if marijuana, cocaine, or another illicit drug is detected, there is no way of telling how often the tested person uses the drug.

Furthermore, saliva tests do not pass go with federal work-sites or those who contract to federal entities. Urine and hair tests are the standard for these workplaces, as mandated by federal law. However, the U.S. agency responsible for behavioral health advocacy and leadership is making the case for allowing saliva testing at federal work-sites. So, only time will tell if saliva testing has what it takes to cut it when it comes to government testing.

From https://drugtestsinbulk.com/blog/is-saliva-testing-right-for-your-workplace-2/

from https://drugtestsinbulk0.wordpress.com/2017/02/23/is-saliva-testing-right-for-your-workplace-2/