#longpost yikes

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

@kimberleyjean ok, you asked for this, its cursed and I'm sorry.

So first off I'm NOT going to try to explain what Supernatural is. Its a garbage fire, and I am unfortunate enough to be one of the feral, touch-starved gays to live in said garbage fire. Its the best show ever but all of its accidental, its the worst show ever in terms of anything that was done on purpose, etc etc. You're on tumblr you know the drill

Anyway, before GOs2's "Final Fifteen", the ONLY connections between GO and SPN were:

A demon in spn is named Crowley, in an homage to GO Crowley. They are alike, but they are NOT the same character and I don't think it can be argued that they're the same person in different forms (bc with demons that would be possible). They are however both Scottish, greasy and have a deep disrespect for authority. I do HAVE a theory/hc connecting the two Crowleys but that's another post for another day. Weirdly, SPN!Crowley (who I'm going to call Fergus from here on out, bc even though nobody in spn or the fandom calls him that, it is his canonical first name) has very little to do with anything I'm about to say. Just fyi, he exists.

Secondly, The Hillywood show did a Supernatural parody back in 2014-ish. I will link it below if you're curious, but again not much in this video is ACTUALLY RELEVANT to what I'm about to say (however, Fergus is there. He's the Scottish guy)

However, the specific arcs of Supernatural that SURROUND the season/topic this parody is centered on (Mark of Cain arc, ~s9-10) are where the coincidences get weird, and ok now I do have to talk about Supernatural a bit.

mmmfffff. Okay so the Metatron is a greasy, annoying, manipulative, power-hungry bastard who lies every time he speaks, wants full rule over Heaven and will control anyone and wreck anything he can to get there....

...and I'm talking about the version of the Metatron from Supernatural. LONG tldr, Dean (buzz cut, older brother, guy who's in love with an angel, the guy who says the news headlines in the Destiel meme) takes this thing/curse/whole other mess called the "Mark of Cain" to kill this kinda super-powerful arch-demon called Abaddon (more on her later), and blah blah blah Supernatural Happens For A Bit, and due to the Mark's curse making Dean act like a total psycho (and also, its implied, slowly turning him into a demon) they try to get help from the Metatron, who had been locked up after... well.

-when God was no longer contacting heaven, Metatron ran away from Heaven and hid on earth because he thought that the angels would use the Word of God (which the Metatron holds) "wrong" or something

-later, took advantage of strife & power vacuums in Heaven to manipulate Cas (angel, deeply autistic, the guy who says "I love you" in the destiel meme, in love with Dean) into doing a spell that CAUSED ALL OF THE ANGELS IN HEAVEN TO FALL, for no reason other than the Metatron is an actual pissbaby.

anyway, Metatron claims he can help Dean, that was a lie (shocking, I know), Metatron pulls some bs including basically stealing Cas' life-force (a second time. the first time was when he was ALREADY fucking w Cas as mentioned above) and runs off back to heaven... along with Gadreel, who he has manipulated/convinced to help him take power in Heaven.

who's Gadreel?

well. he's the angel who let the Serpent (or in this canon, just Lucifer) into the Garden of Eden, and he was cast into Hell to be tortured forever or something as punishment. However, after Metatron's earlier all-the-angels-falling scheme, Gadreel (for reasons I'm not too sure of tbh) took the name/identity of a VERY highly-regarded and powerful angel named Ezekiel, who died of his injuries during the fall

^this last part is a detail I try hard not to think about. this is because the names and roles are JUST similar enough to GO's Ineffable Husbands for the implications make me very, very sad.

Anyway, Gadreel had been around spn canon before, posing as Ezekiel, possessing Sam blah blah blah shit happened

Anyway this is a whole lot of words to say that the season/s of SPN that The Hillywood Show was parodying were the seasons where the Metatron was a main villain, and attempted/temporarily succeeded in taking power in Heaven BY MANIPULATING THE GUY WHO LET THE DEVIL INTO THE GARDEN OF EDEN

and then The Hillywood Show (who tbh I almost feel bad for lmao like BRUH) got signed to produce the parody/teaser/release date announcement for GOs2. Where the Metatron...

yeah.

yeahhhhhh

I would have LOVED to see the Hillywood Show team's live and immediate reaction to the Final Fifteen because I can't even imagine what must have been going through their heads.

ah yes. the FUCKING Metatron

oh also in spn, the Metatron (its complicated but basically)severely/fatally wounds Cas, and straight-up KILLS Dean, but Dean resurrects as a demon (for a few eps at least), meaning that Metatron DID technically try, and almost succeeded in, killing both members of an angel/demon gay couple, if only bc timing lined up so that Metatron was an antagonist in the arcs where Dean was turning into a demon.

so yeah

anyway I mentioned we'd get back to Abaddon so here's those major spoilers I mentioned. I'm fairly sure these are real spoilers and not theories, since my source is wikipedia

that's the whole article, there's not much else on her on wiki (though I should really do more research on Muriel). I think I heard Neil say somewhere that he created Muriel because "he wanted an angel character, from Heaven, who was 'just nice'" but idk if anything specific has ever been said about her name.

anyway that's why the Metatron gave Muriel that book "The Crow Road" in the Final 15, why he likes her so much, and why he's having her stay on earth

"The Crow Road" is a book about the nature of Death, and Metatron is, for lack of a better/less problematic word, grooming Muriel for the role of angel of Death in the apocalypse (Abaddon being a VERY prominent figure in revelations, for those who weren't aware)

...so on top of all the other Supernatural/Hillywood-Specific coincidences, sure, let's have Abaddon too.

uhhhhh

yeah

[holdmyhopeinyourhands]

Call me pessimistic but I don't believe Andrea what's his name for a second. No way Daniel knew because if he did he wouldn't have been apologizing and pleading with the damn factory team week after they signed his replacement. It's more likely that they told him they were considering replacing him and that he had a chance of continuing with them if he 'did better' and now are saying all this to first save themselves from further backlash but to also smooth whatever they can over with Daniel as I don't think he would have wanted to be portrayed as someone who was backstabbed weeks ago and didn't know. This whole situation stinks and while I'm neither a Danny Ric fan or a McLaren fan, I would be lying if I said I wouldn't drop the matchstick on their factory if given a gasoline opportunity. Fuck them for not even clearing the bar sitting in hell when they're the devil themselves

[graciecatfamilyband]

To the reviewer of Just A Little of that Human Touch on AO3 who wrote:

YES YES YES to your portrayal of Alderaan as a liberal feminist society with sex education and Leia being a crusader of that! THIS feels real. THIS feels like the kind of society Breha Organa and Leia by extension would have cultivated. 

I already thanked you for your review, but I wanted to add (and the comment box on AO3 didn’t feel like it was the right place to do so)-

A lot of time we fanfic authors borrow from Earth and its history as we conceptualize societies in the GFFA. There's a lot of fun royal customs that people like to explore in relation to Alderaan. A lot of us grew up reading about the British monarchy and other European monarchies (what can I say, a lot of us are nerds! Raise your hands if you read those Royal Diaries books growing up? Other historical fiction dealing with this stuff? How many we got in the house?), and that seems to have inspired a lot of Alderaanian customs in fic, which is cool!  

Personally I'm interested in how Alderaan as a matriarchal planet with at least a traditionally female power structure (although I like headcanons that Alderaan moved long ago towards a real gender equality model rather than actually denying men opportunities, including to rule!) might differ from a lot of the patriarchal monarchies in our Western history. Virginity and female-centered sexual purity focus makes a lot more sense when the heir of the throne needs to be related to the King (and the heir of any given family needs to be related to the father); much less so when traditionally the heir needs to be related to the Queen (and the heir of any given family related to the mother- if Alderaan even has such a concept of family heirs!). And then of course with Leia's open adoption (in the sense that the people know about it- and I think they must because she is not the same ethnicity as her parents, although I've seen some takes on it where its like an open/fake secret that work well), that seems to indicate modern-day Alderaan may not give an F about biological lineage anyway. Which I think also says some things about the society and how it views sex and reproduction. 

That, combined with our knowledge of Alderaan as a place that puts such a high degree of value on education (and a good sexual education is an important part of ensuring people have access to all those other kinds of higher education, as babies too early really can make that so much harder) as well as the value the society places on art and, in my head canon at least, the well-being of children (parents having children too early is also associated with very poor outcomes for children; parents having unstable or abusive relationships also is associated with very poor outcomes for children)- well, it just makes sense to me that Alderaan would care deeply about good sexual education that involves, as Leia said, not just contraception but things like healthy relationship skills. Important elements that are too often left out of a discussion of practices that take place in the context of relationships! 

So yes, I agree that this approach seems to fit Bail and Breha’s personalities well (and Leia’s for that matter!), but also think that this is the kind of society that likely shaped those personalities, you know? 

And of course Leia never shies away from pushing envelopes galaxy-wide, and supporting such an organization would (hopefully- although fascist regimes get weird about this sort of thing!) be a way for her to advocate for something she believes in that is valuable, and, while pushing the envelope, actually do-able (as opposed to openly advocating for overthrowing the Empire).

I received an anon message about how I was ruining Star Wars and Star Wars fanfiction with my naked sociopolitical agenda, and how its absurd to apply Earth morality to Star Wars in- any? such a?- way. At the time I didn’t want to post it, but it seems relevant to mention here. Honestly, what “hurts”- other than the fact that someone felt the need to go out of their way to share this opinion with me without signing their name- is that it implies I have no “legitimate” thought process behind this choice for the story. I believe that I have sound reasons why I think Alderaan was this way. Sure, it’s in line with my own points of view- but that’s in part because I think Alderaan is intended by George Lucas to be a beacon of democratic values under a repressive regime, and a symbol of all that is nurturing in the Galaxy, and to me that fits with these ideas. Other people may disagree with my interpretation of Alderaan, as well as how democratic values and a value placed on life would translate into sexual mores. Other people do disagree, and write it differently! That’s fine. But I don’t feel that I’m drawing it out of nowhere. And as usual, this is only a critique when the Earth morality we’re drawing from is “progressive”- no one feels the need to go into the inbox of authors who wrIte about Alderaanian courtiers planning to check Leia’s hymen before her wedding night to tell them not to project specific Earth cultural practices onto the GFFA.  Their incorporation of Earth history is seen as well thought-out, valuable, and detailed world-building; mine is considered a cheap trick. 

And no one should go bother those writers either! Their stories have something to offer, just as I believe mine does. (And I know fanfiction is free, amateur authors, blah blah blah- but honestly, fanfiction being free isn’t the primary reason to behave supportively and decently toward people who make themselves available on the internet. Sure, you can post a negative review of Claudia Gray’s books on your own blog- and sure, you really should not do that with fanfiction, because its unnecessarily mean for people who hare having fun in their free time and doing what’s meaningful to them- but its still rude to go to Claudia Gray directly and tell her she’s ruining Han and Leia, or Star Wars, or how much you hated her stuff! Direct-to-author contact should always be polite, whatever the context.) I believe strongly that everyone should be able to bring whats interesting and meaningful to them to the stories they want to tell in fanfiction, and I personally think there should be room for both approaches!

From my perspective, there has been a lot of handwringing lately about fanfic being ruined by “overly political” agendas and about authors (mis?)using Han and Leia to work out “ideas about female empowerment.” (Although perhaps that perspective is colored by the anon message!) I’d be lying if I said that didn’t dull my enthusiasm about writing Han and Leia, period- no matter how light or fluffy or smutty or “divorced from real-life”. Because even if my past pieces are not considered to fall into that category, that atmosphere makes me feel stifled, like I’m no longer writing for me but like I’m writing to prove that I am still valuable in this community by coloring in the right lines. So while the entire bones of the story were written in August, as I “colored it in”, it did come to include more sociopolitical elements than I originally conceived of it having. I only did so in ways, however, that I felt enhanced the human story at the core, rather than took away from it. They came to me naturally, organically, as the story unfolded, rather than me sitting back and trying to find places to jam them in. Another kind reviewer whose words are etched in my heart noted that “it's all the details that really make it, that tell the story,” and while she was referring to things like body language, I like to think that these details were no less a part of that, and added to rather than drew from the story. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have included them. People may of disagree about whether or not I succeeded, and its possible that my own skill deficit was part of that! But, while I may have failed, I don’t like the idea that they couldn’t have been included in such a story in a way that was relevant. 

I do affectionately like to think of this- even if I am being somewhat tongue-in-cheek/ironic- as my “political screed” fic, because a) I recognized upfront that I was powerless to stop it from being taken that way, even if I took out every possibly “political” element, simply because it involved Leia having previous partners; b) it’s as “political” as I think I’m capable of getting, which is to say (to me)- not very!  its a story about the characters above everything, so it gave me a chuckle to call it political; c) it was a way to prepare myself for a comment like the one I received, which I thought was probably inevitable; and d) it was my way of proving to myself that I did not need to live in fear of writing a “wrong” fic and being tossed out on my ass. I can continue to write whatever is meaningful to me and take whatever response I get. If many people don't want to read it but are still down to read my other stuff, that’s great! If some people don’t want a voice like mine around at all, its better that I know that now rather than worrying about it for the next eight months before finally gathering the courage to publish a prompt I promised to write for a friend, and having my heart broken all over again after spending a lot of time and energy mending it.

And honestly, the overall response has just been so heartening. So many people have recognized it as fundamentally a story about Han and Leia connecting with each other and it just warms me to my toes to hear that it resonated. The recipient who it was for was thrilled to see some of her own headcanons included too, so I feel like I’ve done my job and gained a meaningful writing experience (that prompt- “and we never talked after that”- was really hard to right a nice, hopeful Han/Leia story for!).

So thanks, dear reviewer(s), and I hope I added something interesting to your comments about Alderaan!  💚💙💚💙

[deathleadsarc]

🔮 Ishval :)

Memory Drabble | accepting

The skies above the prettiest blue ; so unlike the blueness of the uniform she’d be forced in. Memories of her first step into the region of Ishval are still so fresh, she need only close her eyes to see that shade of sky  - somehow more bright and warm than the sky that hangs over Central. From the moment she’d left her apartment and climbed into the back of a military vehicle, she remembers. Some days it feels as if it is all she remembers. Her face covered by her mask to hide her Ishvalan features, the scent of burning that reeks through even the sturdiest walls, and the sound of sand beneath her boots and the men around her kissing photographs of loved ones and crying. 

But she supposed it didn’t really matter what it smelled or looked like where she was, or even what it felt like against the exposed skin of her neck and wrists. What mattered was what she would be doing there. Illustrious blue as the backdrop for a masterpiece of terror and anguish and brimstone ; ah yes, her very first week. Despite expecting to be on the field immediately however, she had been instead taken to a large building to be saddled alongside the Crystal Alchemist to aid in their discoveries of more biologically centered Alchemy. His face always seemed to look to her with pity, didn’t he? but it was only because he did not understand her at all! None of them! Though she had wanted to be on the field, being in a room with such alchemists was something she’d only ever dreamed of. 

At first, she had been thrown into a room with a pile of bodies to clean, with organs to sort out and make notes of - and yes, while the first time cutting into a cadaver was... interesting, after about ten to twenty times it certainly lost its appeal very quickly. Soon, she had begun expressing interest in more stimulating things. More, aggressive in her pursuit of knowledge. Everything she did not know, she asked. If it did not have an answer. She found the answer, doing so most viciously. No one had been spared to her demands. Aggressive in action, ruthless in execution, a vigorous performance. Her presence there in that room had not only been her sanctuary, but their wolf’s den, with this She-Wolf commanding over all. 

The effects of her H2SO5 then comes to mind, performing most adequately against all who would hope to take her down. Acid raining down to bubble and boil anything in its path, only to evaporate and spread its fumes to any survivors ; its purple color spread out so far and wide, a bubble of smoke on the horizon to any and all who entered ( or attempted to escape ) Ishval. The absolute glee that overflowed from her chest as she witnessed human after human collide and melt into one another ; to then corrode beautifully in the place in which they’d died, right on the spot. Blackened corpses littering the streets like statues --  And then ! If their surviving tissue were to continue being exposed to her toxins, they would form into layers of newly necrosed flesh to adorn the walls of buildings and the ground of sand. 

Purple bleeds into a deep black, a natural gradient to the unrecognizable humans. Untouchable. Unlivable. A thin and terrible smile ; to think that the part of Ishval that had seen her footsteps and cried with terror at her Alchemy yet now could no longer walk the same streets as she had back then. The damage she had done, irreversible to everyone except for her ! 

As if watching a fungi take over an old piece of food left to the outside world for too long, she too overtook every piece of life she could with nary a thought spared to mercy. It grew and grew and grew and grew and grew and grew and grew and grew and tore and ripped and killed until she had become an unrecognizable husk of the optimistic girl she once was. A soul transmuted through heresy, a purity so bastardized it should have been flung straight into the pit of the very fire of hell ; or thrown directly into Flame’s path. No mask. Protection. Perhaps his fire would have been hot enough to purify the evil that had settled over her soul... cremated into nothing but ash to be taken by the wind. 

But there was no fire that could cleanse whatever this soul had become. A soul just as black and dead as the very bodies she’d left in her wake. No longer clear and warm, but tarnished and oozing with acid.

The H2SO5... That had been her pride and joy at the time, yes. The precious gas that had been perfected completely before reaching the battlefield to take the place of Strong-Arm. She had never since been able to use it against any other human life on such a large scale after that. Perhaps someday there will be another pointless war... A war where she will be called on the spot - not a fill-in for another who couldn’t stomach murdering. 

Then, oh then, there was the moment she knew that she had chosen the right path. What could have been better that what she’d been accomplishing? Staring down at the palms of her mutilated hands for the last time. She can see her shoe-strings from the middle of her palm. Feel the air run through it like ice to the tip of her nose. One last time. One last time for her most memorable transmutation in the pit that had witnessed and caused the Bloom of Belladonna ; Entirely organic, smooth and hole-less, Hands. Two hands as new as a newborns, with arrays that would remain forever. 

She remembers it fondly. Smiling. A true sign that her work had prevailed. That she was not a failure in alchemy but had sought it out despite all terrible odds and circumstances and succeeded where others mocked her and told her she would not. She’d done what she sought to do. Realized her dream... Her beautiful dream. And now because of it, she can realize new dreams... farther than even the newly Bloomed Belladonna could ever have imagined possible. 

      “ I learned everything there. Everything. There is too much at once. I can’t simply think of one or two things to show, I’m sorry. ”

[werkwerkelizaaa]

I posted 169 times in 2021

16 posts created (9%)

153 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 9.6 posts.

I added 429 tags in 2021

#xoxo droplets - 67 posts

#jeremy king - 61 posts

#nate lawson - 43 posts

#everett gray - 41 posts

#pran taylor - 41 posts

#shiloh fields - 40 posts

#bae pyoun - 39 posts

#headcanons - 35 posts

#honeysheadcanons - 34 posts

#gb patch games - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#jake legit quit one of his sports to try theater because of how big of an impact one show had on him and he saw how much christine loved it

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Later, Sparrow receives a letter underneath his door. It reads as follows:

Dear Sparrow, I hate your stinkin' guts. You make me vomit. You're the scum between my toes. Love, Dexter

Sparrow frowns and snatches the paper up, then runs out without bothering to close the door behind him. He’s waving the paper in an agitated manner as he approaches Dexter. “That doesn’t rhyme at all!”

Dexter is taken aback at first until he realizes what exactly Sparrow is referring to. He sneers in a practiced way that only a dilettante can truly pull off. “It’s free verse.”

Sparrow gives him a dismissive scoff and turns without a backwards glance, assuming the entire thing to be over.

Dexter is not finished. Oh no, Dexter is not going to stand for his poetry skills being derided, especially by a Carly Fae Jepsen wannabe whose favorite band is My Chemythical Romance. Dexter metaphorically throws down the gauntlet by literally throwing his notebook full of notes from this morning’s Beast Training to the floor, which makes a satisfying thump when it lands on the shiny hallway.

“You want a rhyme? I’ll give you a rhyme!”

There’s a fire in his eyes that only one other person has been witness to before. Darling almost feels sorry for Sparrow. Almost. “Uh-oh, here we go.”

Sparrow looks over his shoulder before swiveling his entire body to face Dexter again, shifting into a relaxed stance. Oh, this is gonna be easy… or so he thinks.

Dexter snaps his fingers, then points at Sparrow. “You think you’re so great but you’re not all that, your haircut is dumb and so’s your hat.”

Sparrow’s face twists into one of extreme displeasure. “My hat is HIPSTER you wouldn’t understand—“

Dexter doesn’t let him finish his defense.

“Your attempts at music are so sad your name should be Sorrow, and if you ever wink at my sister a g a i n I will knock you into tomorrow”

Sparrow is silent, completely at a loss for words.

Dexter returns his stunned stare.

Darling shakes her head slightly at the whole event. She’s seen much weirder at this school; much stranger this week even, but somehow she knows that the scene that just played out in front of her eyes will be hard to forget.

“I’m in love,” Humphrey sighs. When Darling glances his way, he squeaks and hides his face behind his mirrorpad. That wasn’t supposed to be out loud.

The magic of the moment falls, and Dexter shifts. He’s his usual, awkward self again, all long limbs without the slightest idea of what to do with them. One hand comes to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck while the other adjusts his perfectly-straight glasses. “I have no idea where that just came from...”

68 notes • Posted 2021-09-14 05:51:33 GMT

#4

Xoxo Droplets’ Jerk Squad Band AU

So this came to me while I was listening to Yeah Right off of Evanescence’s latest album, The Bitter Truth.

Yeah I know, but hear me out:

•They were all in an after-school program for ~cultivating musical talent in troubled youth~

•Even though most of them cannot stand each other, as a whole they’re almost magical onstage

• Nate is the frazzled manager of course, constantly stretched within an inch of his life but he claims a perfect (by his standards) show is worth all the stress

• Bae writes the lyrics, handles a majority of the PR– if somebody tries to spin his words he can spin it right back on them– and I also feel he could play the electric violin for the songs that call for it (it’s a thing and it’s epic)

•Jeremy seems to be the type to have piano aggressively encouraged to him by his parents, so he’s on keyboard and composes most of the music

Imagine Bae leaning over Jeremy “No no cupcake, I know it’s difficult for anyone to keep up with my genius, but you modulate the key on the next line” and pointing

“If you don’t get that finger out of my face I will stuff this sheet music up your nasal cavity”

“...and don’t call me cupcake”

•JB takes lead guitar and does a lot of showboating, works the crowd and is usually in some sort of scandalous headline every week but she loves it

•Shiloh plays bass and provides backup vocals, he’s annoying but they keep him towards the front of the stage because his energy is infectious so we might as well put him to use

• I can see Everett having the ability to use both hands equally well, so he’s on drums and enjoys having his finger on the very heartbeat of the metaphorical system, probably dabbles in the synth too

•Pran is the one-man tech wizard and has as tiny of a presence as possible, only the most hardcore fans know what he even looks like

•[If we bring the reader into this, they were hand-selected by JB for their seemingly sweet, friendly, conflict-averse demeanor as well as their powerful voice– she didn’t want too much competition for the boys’ attention]

•[Whether her judgement is sound remains to be seen, but my money’s on not]

•[On the other hand, there’s still enough onstage chemistry between them to play it up for the fans and the press]

•They definitely squabbled over the name

• “Hear me out: Baend.” “NO” “JB and the JBs” “oh, please” “get real” “could we squish all of our names together?” “Ah yes, because none of the members of the band could ever switch out, it’s not like that happens only all the time”

• “What about ‘That Band’?” “Seriously?” “It’s no worse than anything else that’s been suggested” “Ugh fine” “wait I was being sarcastic” “well too bad we’re sticking with it now” “this is all your fault Jeremy”

each member has a good amount of groupies/fangirls. JB, Everett, and Shiloh revel in the spotlight and have a lot of overnight visitors to their respective rooms, Bae pretends he’s above all that but he’ll have the occasional “dalliance” as well which is,,, not what you’d think

Legit he sells a limited amount of ‘day dates’ to his fans at every tour stop which consists of him hanging out with them for a certain price, it’s only word-of-mouth through the hardcore base which just adds to the mystique

• Nate and Jeremy are like “gross”, but at least they have fans and at the very least that’s good for both business and their image

• Pran HATES it lol he’s just like “Why. Why.”

• “Must be a bunch of burnt out losers who weren’t hugged enough as children.”

• They all constantly diss everyone else’s outfits and haircuts, naturally

•Not the musical instruments though– except for in extreme cases– because that’s serious business

Jeremy: trips onstage

Everett: *ba-dum-tsss*

See the full post

91 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 18:40:34 GMT

#3

Which member of the xoxo Droplets Jerk Squad are you most like?

Have you ever wondered who out of the jerk squad boys (from @gb-patch‘s game XOXO Droplets) you vibe with the most? Well, wonder no longer! I made a personality quiz! 20 questions, 6 results. 

no refunds. 

https://www.quotev.com/Vivienne79804/published

119 notes • Posted 2021-04-19 05:28:25 GMT

#2

Apple White icons (some of these are a little blurry but look fine at profile pic size)

See the full post

143 notes • Posted 2021-08-17 01:00:48 GMT

#1

Mr. Holden isn’t just a dad, he’s a cool dad

@gb-patch I am so sorry

446 notes • Posted 2021-04-04 01:14:14 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[overwhelmedbyfeels]

“He needs his mouth taping up to stop all that bleating about his 'missus'. I think I speak for the majority when I say that we are extremely cringed out by Liam's gushing compliments over his (old) bird! I din't see her doing the same. She's just sitting back on her throne whilst the court jester is out making a clown of himself.”

"Haha someone will be getting no dessert for a while after that comment! Didn't he say recently that she gives him grief for talking too much about her in interviews? I think he thought she was joking, but at this point he is making them both look like idiots."

"He's too intellectually challenged to realise the creepiness of this statement ... bless him."

"The only kind of man C****l can keep! Lovestruck and dumb."

"He watched her as a kid. Now she has two kids."

"I think C****l needs to put a set of reins on him and put him in the pram with Bear. He's too young to be on social media he's still only a baby bless him"

"This is exactly why it works for C****l - the kid idolises her and wouldn't dare question her! That's where the others failed - they had their own personalities and weren't blinded by love. He'll soon learn as they grow older."

"He doesn't speak about her as a person or the mother of his child, he speaks about her as C****l C**e the popstar trophy"

"God this puts it into perspective on how creepy she is, I mean realistically C****l's got to have some form of pedo tendencies to have met a 14 year old kid when she was in her 20s and flirted with him then, then years later having a Baby with him it's bizarre. Imagine saying you met your future babies father, when he was 14 and you were 25 it's disgusting."

Somebody free him.

[helloamhere]

wip folder challenge

Thank you soooo much to the lovely @mediawhorefics (your recent comments on my star wars fic basically saved my entire life and soul and spirit thank you still thinking about it) and the dazzling @disgruntledkittenface for tagging me in this meme, to share WIPs!

Complex relationship with wips here... I have to say I have moved into this phase of feeling so much joy and commitment to my original writing projects that I am not likely to publish fic anytime soon. I was actually thinking of sharing some of the long WIP drafts that I have as snippets, or sequel scenes? idk. I will do my best to summarize!! Original writing (active projects) All The Minds --> this is a project I've been working on for a while in my professional life, a nonfiction book (whhaaat)! I didn't really believe in this project for a while but it's actually been picking up steam and I've shared the concepts with a few friends and their feedback was so strong that I'm continuing it. Terrifying. The Real Deal --> this is my novel, yikes. I plotted around with the concept for like three years and hated myself for never being able to write it. Writing it now. !!! WIP in fic Burnt in | this is my longlost Etched in Salt sequel it's 12k words but RIP me, I realized that the plot that I wanted to do was INTENSE and a LOT and I stopped myself for my own good. I still utterly adore some of the scenes in it and their relationship. HL Closer to the stars | this is a Shuri/Black Panther concept! Who built that giant shield around Wakanda and why was it definitely Shuri working with the Jabari tribe The fic of bad feelings | my longlost poly fic bless this fic I love these boys but another long WIP I'm not planning to finish (~20k of makeouts and crying in this doc geez) HLZ Gift of the Magpie | ummm this is a Man From UNCLE poly fic coffee shop AU.....???? if you could love the flame 2 | loooord I want to write this sequel to my star wars fic. It opens from Obi Wan's point of view and he is full of GUILT, a mood. I felt really freaking proud of what I did with the first fic and I might actually muster up the energy to continue this one sometime! lightning writing on the sky | this is like small coastal california vibes, getting washed up in a bar while there's a storm vibes, meeting a sexy bartender vibes, idek, it's a Roswell New Mexico Malex fic Peril & Promise on Public Transportation | this is like, subway in NYC meet cute mixed with supernatural terror???? Idk how to describe it's like if a smut scene got distracted in the middle with a heroic mission but stayed very horny throughout. HL. the emotional journey is spiders | oh my god this is my beloved meandering Halloween Addams Family Vampire AU longpost fic. Like I started writing this in a series of bizarre posts on here but Vampire Harry is extremely vivid in my mind. I love this dumb world I kind of have a plot I should just write it for fun.

[blackfemmetheorized-blog]

My humble two cents. 

The academy, the study, the rhetoric, the analytics, the epistemology... they are all part of a foreign tongue to me in ways I have not often heard expressed. I did not know what I would be getting into with this topic or this course. I was excited because I knew that I would be reading things made for me and about me. Things that harold speaking from life experience and supportively criticizing the work coming up from the plentiful and beautiful pools of incomprehensible intellect and articulation.

It has been humbling. So, so humbling. The kind of humbling that grasps its hand against your throat with a grip so tight you cannot speak because fear is cold and hard and knows all your flaws and all your doubts. Fear in the face of greatness is unrelenting. They say speak from life experience, but is my experience worthy? Do I truly relate? Is my femme, is my Black, is my voice... enough? Should I have to ask this? Is this what epistemology calls for it’s offering? A cycle of questioning and hypothesizing that leaves you exhausted with this language. 

Would your “great” thinkers approve of my questioning or respond to my pleas for approval with dissent, furthering the tingling sense I am already feeling of ostracization in my own world. Why do I feel so damn humbled in this sphere? Where is the accessibility? My first year in this PWI has been eye opening. Institutions do just as they imply and it’s why it’s hard for me to connect to the words that I know must be speaking about my struggles, about our oppressions and candidly about our experiences.

In the process of demolishing Black womanhood erasure by praising the “intellectual work” coming from theory, I cannot shake feeling erased. You can call this a critique on the approach to study. In Bailey and Stallings’ piece, “Antiblack Racism and the Metalanguage of Sexuality”, they conclude with a call to action for black feminist theorists. They implore us to open the study to other forms, push for inclusivity of more perspectives, more culture and more language. 

I don’t want this to come off too whiny, just as I don’t want to apologize for my sense of frustration anyway, but I think it’s dope to highlight the ways in which the approach to this study evolves. It’s not just thought pieces and scholarly articles. It can be approachable, it can be diverse and it can speak on the multiplicity of Blackness (something Black women have been deprived of forever). It crushes all the gratefully brief and utterly dissatisfying encounters I’ve had with western philosophy, epistemology and methodologies in the past. 

That totally took a goofy shift, but I guess that’s how discussion tends to play out. My opinions, although tentatively and probably flawed, have some degree of validity in this theory and that says something. 

--Mia

[wadebae]

Cishet ace are straight and heterosexual (not "straight passing" but straight). They have not always been part of the LGBT community. You cannot choose to be LGBT. Cishets being told that they're cishet and therefore oppress the LGBT community is not the same thing as homophobia or transphobia.

I’m only publishing this so everyone can see how fucking stupid you are.

The main issue with your premise is that you are treating “cishet” in the phrase “cishet ACE” as if it means exactly the same thing as “cishet” when it’s standing by itself, to describe someone who is cis-gendered and heteroSEXUAL.  It does not. “Cishet ace” means cis-gendered, heteroROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I actually see a good chunk of people trying to choose new wording or use ‘straight’ instead to avoid this confusion.

Your assertion translates to, “Asexuals are Heterosexual” which is the most laughably ignorant thing I’ve ever heard. Asexuals are not heterosexual and are therefore not straight by default.

Asexuals have a long history of being part of the LGBT+ community, due largely to the fact that “asexual” as it’s own identity is still new. Aces have always existed, they’ve just thought ‘I’m not straight so maybe I’m gay?’ or ‘I’m sexually attracted to all genders equally (i.e. not at all) so maybe I’m bisexual or pansexual.’ This is why personally the majority of aces I’ve seen identify as either aromantic or bi/panromantic, because it’s all equal to them. Ask the bisexual community - they will tell you that aces have been part of their community for a long ass time, probably longer than I’ve been alive. Romance is tricky for a lot of aces and this might be controversial among my fellow aces to say, but I honestly suspect that some aces that identify as heteroromantic really could just as easily be aromantic or panromantic, but because it doesn’t matter to them, they go with what’s socially easier or expected of them. Some can blend in and can completely go under the radar and pass as straight (I don’t see how, because sadly even I do not pass as sexual among other sexual people.) Yes, it’s only “passing”. Yes, they benefit from straight privilege and heteronormativity in that case because it’s easier for them to learn the ‘right’ things to do and say, than to have to deal with dumb fucks like you. No, not all cishet aces actually manage to “pass” as straight, and the ones that do not, the ones who experience acephobia tend to need support from the ace community and LGBT+ community at large.

Aces are accused of sex shaming or sexualizing others, they are viewed as inhuman, they are threatened with bodily harm and r*pe, simply for stating that they personally are not interested in sex. Their personal lives, bodies, mental health, past history of trauma, and sexual history (yes, aces can have sex and still be asexual) are all used against them to invalidate their experiences and identity. I see a lot of aces who choose to just be silent and hide their identity because they are afraid of being attacked, misunderstood, rejected by loved ones, dehumanized, or actually physically harmed. It’s sad.

The only thing correct in your statement is “You cannot choose to be LGBT.” 

No, you can’t, and aces do not choose to be ace. But you can choose to be part of the LGBT+ community or not, and many aces choose not to be, either because they don’t identify with LGBT+ struggles or because of people like you who make the online community into a flaming shithole. So this fear that aces - cishet aces in particular - are ‘taking over the community’ is bullshit. You’re just angry because more aces are realizing the nuances of their identity every day and instead of celebrating that and offer support (or just inclusion and respect) for those who need it, you’d rather recycle the same oppressive language that’s been used against homosexual, trans, bisexual, and pansexual people before us and keep the hate going, so long as you’re the one doing it now. You’d rather spew total bullshit to claim that cis heteroromatic asexuals are actually heterosexuals and therefore oppressors. You aren’t ‘saving’ the community from anything, you’re just being a dick to invalidate a minority within a minority of people who might desperately need support by saying ‘you’re not welcome here either and your existence oppresses us!’ It’s disgusting and you look fucking dumb.

[ongoingaccident-deleted]

The Hooded Figure Theory

Just kind of wanted to talk about this cause it ends up being a fairly important part of Ae’s story. So I ran across this theory recently that purports that the Hooded Figure who gives you the first main quest is the Groundskeeper. And having played through the main quest again pretty recently, I’m pretty convinced. (At the very least, I like the theory enough that I’m going to integrate it into my canon.)

Longpost under the cut. (Really longpost, I got a little carried away. Yikes.)

First:

The Hooded Figure. And:

The Groundskeeper. (I pulled these off of Google Images for comparison purposes only and would like to replace them with my own screenshots at some point so that I know graphics settings are consistent, but here they are for now.)

Not only are they both Breton women, but a lot about their faces is the same. They have the same chin, the same eyebrows, extremely close facial structures, etc. But the most convincing thing for me was the way that they both speak. They both use the same distinctive cadence when they talk, and I found it fairly noticeable. (Hooded Figure, Groundskeeper.) Of course, you speak to them so far apart that this was something I overlooked during my first playthrough, but after someone pointed it out... let’s just say I’m convinced they’re the same person.

So what does this mean? Meridia sent the Vestige to their death. Now, as much as I want a chance to punch her in game, I don’t think this was done maliciously. I think she sought out someone to be her champion, and she knew that the Vestige had pretty good odds of being able to handle being Soul Shriven without going feral, and was a good enough fighter to take on Molag Bal (albeing with the help of the Amulet of Kings) and win. So she decided to stack the deck in her favor and use you as a tool to knock the Lord of Schemes down a peg. And it worked! Still a little fucked up, but I guess you can’t necessarily fight fair when it comes to dealing with a guy who calls himself the “Lord of Brutality”.

That’s honestly one of the most interesting things about Meridia’s character to me. She doesn’t necessarily seem to be good or evil, at least not in a way that makes sense to the denizens of Nirn. But she will do whatever it takes to win. Whether that’s manipulating people into doing what she wants (see Darien at the end of Summerset and the journal where he says she promised him freedom) or even (accidentally?) killing her one of her most devoted followers due to collateral damage (iirc, Dynar dies as a side effect of the Light of Meridia and not being in the ‘safe zone’, correct me if I’m mistaken).

But how does this figure into Ae’s story? I’ve taken some liberties with the Hooded Figure quest to make it fit more neatly into who she is as a character, but the basic gist of it is this: she is, at this point, a lieutenant in the Lion Guard with her own squad of ten people. They, being run by someone who Emeric happens to be fond of (he spoils Ae a little bit), have several unique functions, and one of them is to help the people of High Rock where they need it. So when they’re stopped in Daggerfall for a bit and this woman tells Ae that she’s been hearing about strange disappearances of people in the forests near Camlorn, she takes the squad and goes, even if she’s a little suspicious of this woman, particularly after she gives this info and then just portals away.

They all die. They run right into a Worm Cult ambush, and all ten of them end up sacrificed. So Aellai watches nine of the people closest to her die, and then turn into husks in Coldharbour, and she figures out that she was set up, so she swears that she will bring that woman to justice for doing this. The Hooded Figure, and bringing her to justice, almost becomes an obsession for her while she’s trapped in Coldharbour before Lyris helps her break out. So imagine her horror when she gets back to Daggerfall and starts asking around about this woman and no one else has ever seen her. Letting go of that drive for vengeance is hard, but she makes graves for the rest of her squadron and begins to come to peace with it. After all, there’s a lot of people out there who need her help right now, and a lot of different murder cults running around. However, while the DC MQ stuff takes the forefront, she never forgets about that woman.

Eventually, Aellai makes it back to Coldharbour and finds the Hollow City, and then she meets the Groundskeeper. It takes her a while to figure it out, but eventually she realizes why this woman seems so familiar to her when she’s certain she’s never met her before. This is the woman who sent her entire squad to die, who she’s sworn vengeance upon. She kind of keeps this information to herself because she’s not sure what to do with it; the Groundskeeper is helping them now, and even if Ae knows she isn’t what she seems, she’s not sure if she could convince anyone else of that - not to mention that now that she’s figured out this woman is more than a simple cultist, she isn’t sure exactly what she is yet.

And then she puts the pieces together after talking to the people she meets in Coldharbour and realizes that the Groundskeeper is Meridia a little bit before the reveal. And she definitely can’t say anything after that. They need Meridia’s help to fight Molag Bal, not to mention that so many people in the Hollow City still worship her and she probably couldn’t fight her successfully as it is. So vengeance waits another day.

All of this gets forgotten about for a while, during which she’s busy searching for Darien/general hero business in a few different places. And then Summerset happens. She’s almost willing to forgive Meridia if she lets Darien go free, but then she doesn’t. He has to sacrifice himself, and then she finds the journal, and she lowkey flips. Aellai marches right back into the shrine by Shimmerene and just kind of starts half-arguing, half-begging her. One of the things that she swears, among others, in exchange for Darien’s freedom, is that she will never mention the fact that she knows that Meridia got her friends killed or try to take revenge for it.

That deal definitely doesn’t end up the way that she wanted it, but I’ll talk more about that later, this is super super long as it is.

[nautilusopus]

(name removed for safety, as always do not send anyone harassment, anon or otherwise)

Christ I’m having 2009 deviantArt flashbacks. There is a lot to unpack here but I’ve been longposting entirely too much lately and also I’m violently allergic to the LTD as a subset of my romance-in-general allergy, so I’ll just touch on a few things very quickly while I’m at it:

Words used to mean something, you fucks. That’s not what abuse is, fucking hell. 

Can we please stop judging an entire character’s worth based on how shippable you think they are or aren’t? I know I’ve said that like six times already but apparently it bears repeating. 

You know if you like a ship you can just... ship it, right? Like, that’s all you have to do. And then you’ve done it. There’s that Boolean relationship shit again.

Yikes.

[vanilla-coke-and-popcorn]

I’m just mad

Why are we all suffering? If you just look at the amount of people who are hungry, suffering from mental diseases, dying in ways that should have been eradicated by now, what's the point? If you just look at humanity, just really fucking look at it, you'll see us for what we are; monsters. We let our fellow man fall and starve when here in America we are waisting tons and tons of food. We have medicine, water, the resources in general to give every single creature on this planet to live a comfortable, livable life. So what is stopping humanity from making the change from the outrageous mess that we are to the powerhouse humanitarian and ecologically evidence civilization we could be? Money. The monetary gain from war, from disease, farming and slaughtering billions of animals, only for their lives to be taken in vain as their carcass will be cooked, picked at, and tossed into the landfill. All while some poor people half a world away, or right down the street, are starving. We are all depressed and sad feeling like our lives have no meaning because all we do is slave away to make millions for people who already have billions. When are we going to take a step back and work on who we are, work on the world that has given us everything we need instead of killing her? I cannot take another minute knowing that I am part of the problem. All these older rich families, and I mean the top 1%, don't even have harsh tax cuts to help out the VERY COUNTRY that is making them filthy rich. The government with all of their "black" projects where they make weapons, and god knows what else where TRILLIONS of dollars of your, my, our tax dollars are going instead of the schools, the roads, healthcare. Why does it feel like our world is working backwards? When are we the people gong to have had enough? When all of our rights get stripped away and it's too late? When the streets are rushing with the blood of our children? Oh wait, I forgot those are already happening. No more. I am here to say no fucking more. I'm exauhsted, I'm beaten, but I am not going to roll over and take this anymore. It is time for a change. It is time for the world to wake up and find the meaning in life. Do you know what that is? Happiness. Why is that so hard for people to grasp. We are only here to help one another and to be happy. I'm ready to be happy. I'm ready to fight for me, for my brothers, sisters, and my future children. This isn't about who sits in the white house. This is about all the people who sit around him and two rows away, those who have all the power. The people who cut our rights and our funding all while giving themselves raises while the middle class is getting wiped out. Love your mother. Love each other.

[sophiescarlet]

Here’s (the bulk of) a longpost I wrote earlier this afternoon on a forum, in response to an article posted there about “gay loneliness.” I’m pasting it over here because I think if nothing else people here will find it interesting, and maybe someone will get something out of it.

The past couple weeks I've really been realizing how difficult and, especially, how damn isolating it is to be gay. Ironically, being trans kept me protected from that for a long time, because being seen as a boy, I was expected to like girls, and since until only a few years ago I didn't know any better to know I actually wasn't a boy, I felt like I fit right in with the cishet world.

When I realized I was a lesbian, the surprise wasn't that I liked girls, because I'd always known that, and it was what was expected of me - the surprise was that I was a girl. And at the time, I was already with someone, who for a time was really supportive of me and my dealing with my gender and sexuality. Then eventually we broke up, supposedly because I was too clingy and needy, but considering it was a week and a half after I publicly came out, I've got to believe it was because she was too afraid to even crack the damn closet door (she's panromantic), let alone open it, to say nothing of actually coming out of it. [But That's None of My Business.jpg]

(And to be truthful, I've always considered her a huge coward for that. I have a little more sympathy for her after reading this thread and gleaning some of what the article talked about. But only a little, because I'm sorry, leaving your "life" partner a week and a half after they come out, when you've known for a year, is a shitty thing to do.)

Anyway, point being, even after we broke up there was a long, long healing process I had to go through, and at the same time I was so busy transitioning that I really couldn't have thrown a new relationship into the mix anyway. So it's only in the past few months that my sexuality has kind of become really relevant to my life and my problems - and my gay loneliness is something that's causing me a lot of heartache and grief lately. It's all I talk about with my counselor, honestly. It's not helped at all by being in a community of only 24k people; even though I can be out and proud (and I am), it's not like there's much of anyone here for me to meet and potentially date. The dating pool for gay people, whether men or women, is so much smaller than it is for straight or bi people, and then you take away the transphobes, and then you put yourself in such a small city, and it's like... Yikes. And I'm someone who honestly cannot be happy single, so it's so important for me to be able to be in a relationship (though I've only ever had the one), which makes things a dozen times worse.

And even beyond relationships, it's really tough. The thing that actually set off all this thinking for me was that a little over a week ago, I was watching one of my favorite anime - Love Live! - with a (supposedly) straight friend. It's got a LOT of queer coding in it, and as a result has become super popular with young queer women in the West. Basically all Western fans agree that there are at least two couples in the show who are in love, and most agree on one or two of the characters being trans. Which I explain because it sets up this conversation...

friend: This is going to sound bad, but I don't like that there aren't any boys. me: You mean because there aren't any boys for you to crush on? [Which I would have understood, though it would have been kind of shitty] friend: Yeah, but also because it means there's no love story... me: Girl. GIRL. *splutters* Were you WATCHING Eli and Nozomi?

But then later on when I thought about it, I realized... she was right. It's not an explicit love story with a confession of love and a first kiss like you'd see if it had mixed-sex couples. And that's what she can expect to see, because she's straight. Whereas I have to be content with coding and headcanons, unless I seek out a niche show, which I shouldn't have to do. (Hell, often I have to seek out the niche shows to get the coding.) And that's so wrong, and it's so frustrating! We - gay people, regardless of gender - deserve to be able to see our love stories just as easily as straight people. And I have to imagine it weighs on a lot of us, whether consciously or not, and kind of contributes to a feeling that our real-life love stories aren't as important or as real as those of our straight peers.

Yeah, my friend was definitely talking from a place of straight privilege, but since the facts really are as she presented them (and she's a pretty good ally), I'm disinclined to be mad at her. I'm mad at the situation. I'm mad at the world, or more specifically at the cishet world, for being arranged in such a way that people like me - like us - go through all the bullshit that we do.