#look at what the damn worm did to my son! he’s now a dark fucked up version of himself take a glimpse into his dark reality

[pistachi0art]

been talking about a infection au- Gordo starting a chain reaction by biting Benrey (who doesn’t tell anyone about it)…to then shortly disappear afterwards- Tommy’s the leader now!

[yourwildsimp]

Journal

This did not at all go where I thought it would, but it’s here. This is my first X Reader I’ve done so if you have some input, it would be greatly appreciated-

includes: Levi, Y/N

warnings: Mentions of dark thoughts

length: 2,535 words

"Cadet!" 

You were quick to glance over your shoulder, wondering how you've messed up this time. You were just about to leave the mess hall, so you were probably going to be scolded for being the last one out, or for not eating again. Levi always snapped about how he needs you at your best.

"You forgot this," the captain said, his stoney blue eyes narrowing as yours widened, "Or did you leave it on purpose?"

It was your journal, the one you were always buried in whenever you could be. You did leave it on purpose, hoping someone would find it and save you from yourself. Hoping that someone would notice all of the changes in your behavior, hoping someone would hear your silent screams. Yet, seeing that it was Levi fucking Ackerman who returned the journal? You wished you had kept suffering alone.

"And it has so many…" Levi hesitated, almost like he was trying to find the right words to string together. "So many horrific thoughts written inside of it."

You could practically feel how serious he was while he gripped your prized possession just a bit tighter. You couldn't handle the growing silence, so you broke it.

"I should know. It's mine, after all." He didn't find your joke very funny. 

Levi opened his mouth, picking his next words carefully, "What's going on with you? You haven't been yourself recently."

You mentally swore, fingers twitching at your side. Levi didn't fail to notice, making his abnormal concern grow.

"What do you mean, Captain? I'm perfectly fine." As much as you wished the forced chuckle in your voice would change his way of thinking, it didn't.

"I'm more than certain something is happening with you," his voice grew more pointed as he stared at you, "There's no point in trying to hide it. Just spit it out."

"Why would you even bother asking?" Your muttered question left your lips before you could stop it.

"I want to know because I care about you. That's something a lot of people can't say, so don't go off wasting my support," Levi's tone didn't change and you sucked in a much needed breath. 

You wearily watched him place the journal on one of the long tables in the room, the soft thud reminding you of how many hours have gone into fruitless attempts of venting out your pain.

"Stop being stubborn and tell me what's going on, cadet." He inched closer, and you stepped back in response, eyes darting to the table.

"Once again, Jean and Eren left their spots disgusting. Do you want me to clean up, or would you rather chew them out yourself?" You gave a tight smile, forcing yourself to look back at him.

"Don't change the subject," he growled, a strange blaze flaring up in his eyes. Levi noticed how you tensed and he sighed to calm himself. "The things that you wrote in that book," he started, never once looking away from you, "Those were some seriously dark thoughts, and if you honestly do feel that way, you need to talk about it. So, stop trying to be the coldhearted badass and let me know what's running through your mind."

He sounded like a parent trying to convince a child to admit they broke something. It was a bit frightening in all honesty. 

You didn't say anything, teeth digging painfully into your tongue so you would keep quiet. You had just now noticed you'd been staring at the wooden floorboards this whole time, and yet you didn't stop.

Levi noticed that you weren't going to contribute, so he did it himself.

"What are you afraid of? Do you think I'm going to be mad at you?" 

You could've kicked yourself when your panicked chuckle wormed its way into the one-sided conversation. 

"Look at me," he demanded. You didn't listen, a thick gulp being your only reaction. "Cadet, look at me." This time it came out as a snarl, and you obeyed out of pure fear. 

Levi shut his eyes for just a moment, a heavy sigh leaving him as he tried to compose himself again. You both knew that he wasn't great with feelings, but he was trying. 

"I'm not mad at you. You can tell me whatever you're going through and I'll listen. Don't ever be afraid to let someone know how you feel, that is the only way someone can understand you." You had to clench your jaw to keep a snarky remark from making the situation worse. "Stop hiding from people, stop holding on to these emotions, and thinking that by some miracle things are going to work out by keeping silent. Things don't ever work out that way, and it only prolongs the pain. It only gives time for shit to get worse. So, stop being an idiot and just tell me what's going on already." 

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," you muttered after letting his words sink in. 

You didn't get a response, so you let your gaze lower, but not drop completely. Levi waited for you. The Levi Ackerman patiently waited for you to let go of some agony. So you did.

"Sometimes," it was difficult for you to refill your lungs with fresh air, "I get these recurring dreams that make me think about the things I'd kill to forget." A fly could be heard over your quiet voice, but you had spoken, and Levi found it a big step forward.

"I see," he spoke more to himself than anything. "So that's why…" 

His words trailed off as he remembered walking past the cadet sleeping quarters in the ungodly hours of the morning and often hearing whimpers of fear and sleepy pleads for directions on what to do. His eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"You've been having those, too, haven't you?" He paused, knowing damn well that the night terrors weren't anything but a small piece to the puzzle. But it was progress. "It's not uncommon. Everyone gets those nightmares."

You resisted the urge to insist that's the reason why your problems weren't such a big deal.

"Having thoughts about the people that you've lost, the people that you'd cared about," Levi tightened his jaw, taking a deep breath through his nose and not saying anything for a heartbeat. He changed his wording, "You're allowed to feel. You're allowed to grieve and to be angry, to be hurt." It was like he was reading from the list of your emotional insecurities.

It was starting to get painfully tense, so you attempted to redirect the topic of choice.

"That's funny, considering who's speaking. You only seem slightly agitated whenever you hear about the trouble Eren is constantly causing. I'm surprised you don't have grey's, old man," you laughed in spite of yourself, the noise tense and borderline frantic.

"Writing these thoughts in this book," of course he wouldn't budge. The man's like a stone wall, despite his height. "It's probably your way of coping with what’s happened to you." 

You swallowed, glancing away before sucking on your tongue to distract yourself.

"But, you have to be able to talk to someone as well, to be able to hear your problems leave you." Levi didn't say anything after that, quietly observing how you tilted your head up to stop your brimming tears from falling.

He surprised you by taking a seat on the table's bench, a good four or five feet from your journal. "Come here," he said gently, patting his legs, "You look like you need to be held. If you feel comfortable, that is." 

"On your lap?" You asked, chest tightening. You knew all it was going to take was one hug- just one god damned hug- and you'd crumble.

"Yes, on my lap. Come on," Levi couldn't care less about your height or weight, none of it bothering him in the slightest. 

You hesitated, the exit door seeming all too tempting. You didn't leave, though, and it wasn't because Levi would catch you if you were to run, nor that he would only confront you more forcefully in the future. You knew you needed this- that's the whole reason you had left your secrets behind. But, fuck, it was so hard to make yourself sit on his lap.

"There we go." His encouragement nearly ripped you to shreds.

"What are you? Santa Claus?" You mused, eyes burning holes into your lap with how determined you were to look anywhere but. 

"Go on, let it out," Levi pushed you to speak again, this time far more effective.

"Let what out exactly? My Christmas list?" Your voice cracked, heart painfully throbbing.

"Come on, cadet," Levi breathed again, sickeningly gentle eyes looking at you.

"I wish for a cup of hot chocolate with cookies on the side," you forced a twisted smile on your face as burning hot tears started to slip down your cheek. "Maybe at least one good night's rest. O-Or a chance to go back in time." 

You were breaking down, caving in on yourself as you choked on a sob.

"I've got you."

But you weren't alone. The captain was rubbing comforting shapes into your back.

You shook violently, tremors growing worse before you gave in completely. Harsh sobs thrashed your body as you buried your face into Levi's chest, letting every bit of your pain out.

"It's alright," Levi's voice warded off the ringing in your ears. "It's going to be okay. Do you hear me? You're going to be okay."

Promises of betterment and words of comfort soothed you as you soaked his uniform with tears. Tears that you've held in for far too long, tears that represented your suffering.

"You did all you could. Stop blaming yourself for whatever happened or you'll never be able to move forward. If all you keep doing is holding onto the past, you'll stay stuck in this shitty, painful cycle," Levi told you exactly what you needed to hear as he alternated between pats and rubs on your back. 

He took a deep breath, and you heard his heart rate kick up as your crying quieted, though you didn't- couldn't- stop.

"I had two friends who died on the same damn day. People I considered my family- gone, just like that. People I'd just met, people I had just been acquainted with that morning, died later that day, too," he shared his pain, opening castrated wounds all for you. "Sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers," he listed, voice wavering before he righted himself, holding you closer. "Dead. Gone. And who was in charge? I was." You felt his chest steeply rise and fall as you sniffled. 

"There are things that you'll have to live with, situations you'll be placed in that you'll have to get through." His thumb and index finger captured your chin, forcing you to look at him. "I just want you to remember that you don't have to find a way on your own. You don't have to feel like you need to take all the burden, all the pain, by yourself." 

The hand that was on your back navigated to the Scouts emblem on your jacket, gently thumbing at it. 

"That's why you have us," there was a smile dancing in his voice, though it never quite reached his face. "We can support each other." 

Your tears had calmed down to a few rogue leftovers, and you found yourself ready to slip off of his lap. Levi didn't seem to mind the massive wet stain that bled through his white button-up and onto his peck. Didn't seem to on the outside, but you knew he was a cleaning fanatic.

"My office, my doors, are always open," his tone turned sarcastically bitter, "Unless I have paperwork to fill in, or I'm cleaning up Jaeger's damn mess." He relished the small giggle that left your lips. "If neither of the two are happening, you can always come to me."

He narrowed his eyes at you, lightly flicking your forehead.

"You hear me? Always, cadet." He gently smiled at you. "Not only are my doors open, but my arms are open, too." 

You glanced away to hide the sparkle in your eyes. Your attention returned to the captain, however, when a warm hand found itself on your shoulder.

"I know that feeling of thinking everything is your fault," he swallowed, casting his gaze down before looking back at you. "That feeling of being disappointed in yourself, down in the gutter, beating yourself up and wishing that it was you instead." There was a solemn look in his eyes before he spoke again, "I know that feeling, and I know how it eats you alive." 

Levi pulled you in for another hug, resting his chin on your shoulder as he shuddered in another breath. 

"I also know the feeling of being comforted. Of being reminded that there is a tomorrow, and that things can get better." He gave you a small squeeze before pulling away, both hands on your shoulders now. "That if you make it past today, you can make it past tomorrow, too." 

He allowed you to sit back, and the words he spoke were more than welcomed.

"After everything that you've been through, there is no storm that comes your way that you're not strong enough to face," the proud gleam in his eyes spoke volumes. "And, if you feel like you can't handle it alone, you can face it with me by your side. I'll always be here to brace the storm with you."

Nothing could prepare you for what he said next.

"That is a promise, cadet."

Levi never made promises- not like this. The only thing he's ever promised was to dropkick Eren if he ever went so long without showering again.

"Now breathe," his voice reverted back to that gentle, but commanding tone. He took a deep breath with you, in and out before staring you dead in the eyes. "Everything is going to be okay. It might not be perfect, but we will make it through this. Every battle has an end. Don't go giving up until you find your ending." You felt the grip on your shoulder tighten, his Adam's apple bobbing as he continued, "Please... Hold on for me." 

That left you picking your jaw off the floor before Levi mentioned it, not able to do anything but nod. You, a cadet, had gotten him to say please.

"There is so much to live for in this life," he noticed your doubt before you even said a word. "Let's start living for the people who don't get to, who don't have a choice."

A comforting silence settled into the atmosphere. Levi smiled before standing, mentally double-checking if you were okay. "Oh, and one more thing?" You perked up when he spoke.

"I'll break your fucking legs if you talk about me being soft, cadet."

Ah. There was the Levi you knew.

"Wouldn't dream of it, captain," you said gently, proudly saluting him as he walked towards the back exit.

You would never know, but an extremely proud smile graced his features as he watched you hesitate before throwing the journal away.

[harpyjoy]

"I can't believe I didn't think of shipping these two before"

After thinking about it for a while I decided that it is better to tell it by a separate publication because it was seriously something too long xD

@rayshippouuchiha here are my delusions while I had a fever from the side effect of the vaccine...

It all started with the scene where Zero absorbs Ichiru towards the end of the second season, well in a way I think this part was a bit influenced by watching Hellsing, because at that point everything was combined with Zero, the fact that for having a life in which everything seems to go wrong (his family was murdered, he was turned into a vampire, he is about to go wild, the girl he loved turned out to be a vampire, he has been used as a pawn by another vampire and has to his brother dying in his arms) feels abandoned by god, so he abandons him in turn and Ichiru's blood flows to him...

(This is where I later realized that it might as well be a nice divergence for another even crazier ship like Alucard x Zero idk, but that's a can of worms I'm not willing to open right now)

...and a voice whispers an offer to him (because there always has to be a mystical and mysterious voice) that if he wants Ichiru to live. Now, I don't remember very well how the deal is going because after all it was a dream in the middle of a fever of like 39ºC but it would be something more or less like the two being born again as twin brothers, but this time there is no hunter's curse, Zero remembering all his past life but Ichiru won't remember anything.

The voice tells him that since it is an exchange of lives, he has to learn to live that new life and pay the price, whatever, between leaving that cell to continue doing what others want and deciding to take the reins for once in his life . Well, it's not difficult to choose, right? Zero chooses and reincarnates in the past as a pureblood baby vampire...

(and then he realized it was a damn cheating offer!)

In the arms of Shizuka Hio smile happily...

(what the hell is my life now?!)

...so apparently the price is to have this bloodsucking woman as his mother and to be a bloodsucker himself too, again ... but come on! at least now he's not going to fall to level E; so even though he's looking at Shizuka Hio's face in front of him now (what the heck? now that he notices it...is it normal for a hunter family to look so much like a pureblood family?) that it seems like now it's his mother, also, if that voice was telling the truth (which is very likely, since not all supernatural entities in the universe have the power to make you a reincarnation / time-dimension travel combo) Ichiru will be able to live a full life...

...and seeing a cute baby Ichiru in the arms of what seems to be his father in this life (that as my brain did not give for more, let's think that Shizuka's lover who was killed in the canon in this alternate universe was also a pureblood Hio cousin or something of her! more than anything because I don't want to think of another last name, and basically because I want her to be happy too) he has high hopes that it's true!

Anyway, the years pass and Zero learns that being a pureblood vampire is not so bad and since in this life Ichiru cuts his hair, Zero is the one who lets it grow (in honor of the Ichiru of his past life) although he still knows pierces because... why not?

Yes, the Council of Elders sucks, he had to live the early years of his second childhood in places without windows and the eyes of some noble vampires when they look at him are somewhat disturbing, but he has his brother safe and sound, and Shizuka...

(when she's not a bloodthirsty bitch fed for revenge)

...is actually a good mother, plus she has more strength in one hand than I could imagine and it feels pretty good to say "to hell with the Kurans", then the war between vampires and hunters breaks out and there are more pureblood gatherings than ever...

(and oh no, the damn Kuran! wait, since when are they three?)

...then, in one of those meetings Zero says "fuck it", because there is a guy who looks like the damn Kaname and a woman who is just like Yuuki ... and these old men from the Council do not shut up! so he escapes to breathe for a few moments and then he meets Rido Kuran and he honestly does not know what to think, he wants to hate him, but so many years have passed, he has Ichiru with him, he hardly remembers his human parents and he has enough with the discomfort he feels seeing Haruka and Juuri Kuran...

...and Rido looks so lonely that Zero almost sees himself in him when he was in his darkest moments in his old life and since Zero is not a heartless bastard he decides to talk to him about something random, and then the guy doesn't stop appearing everywhere!! and he first teases and laughs at Zero and then it seems that he can't understand what personal space is because he doesn't stop touching his hair and playing with the bell braided in his locks that Ichiru gave him and...

then he looks at him like he's...everything.

AND AT THIS POINT!! honestly with everything and my omniscient point of view even I was embarrassed to look at them because I felt like I was breaking into an intimate moment no matter they were just looking at each other because Rido looked so…thirsty.

He's basically a big cat and I think all the love, obsession and longing he felt for Juuri in the canon in this universe is focused on Zero, and the guy is The Yandere…Ichiru isn't impressed, but Zero seems to like him so meh.

And then it seems that pureblood vampires can have babies!! Because...who cares?

(Sincerely Zero no longer believes that something is going to surprise him)

They are not human, they are basically millennial immortal beings, one or two incredible things do not hurt and then the council of elders decides that they want to engage Rido with Ichiru (because he is the youngest), Zero has not even come out of shock when the two involved are already protesting very vocally and aggressively because who the hell came up with such a horrible idea?!, half the world and their mothers know that Rido and Zero are close! and Ichiru and Rido only interact when absolutely necessary (mostly because of Zero), fortunately the Council stops the proposal suddenly before it becomes more than a simple suggestion and...

then...I don't remember if when Rido and Zero get married they are Kuran or Hio?...

BUT, I remember that when you see them together they look like rock stars and they are the most atypical purebloods in history, where the other others look ethereal and fragile, they look dangerous and intimidating but equally or more attractive, like a seductive trap mortal.

They drive the Council absolutely crazy but they don’t care about them and they are a couple of cheeky, like very cheeky, I'm talking about public displays of affection and closeness that has more than one vampire looking away.

And so Zero is Senri's mother? (What the hell?!) Because let's remember that in the canon he is Rido's son with a noble and technically Yuuki and Kaname's cousin (?).... BUT! here his mom is Zero, because when Zero holds his baby for the first time and he is biting his finger to feed him with blood, the little one opens his eyes and Zero knows that look, he recognizes that light blue in apathetic eyes in the past and although now his hair may be more silver than dark he knows who he is, or rather who could have been (and damn he carried it in his womb for who knows how many months, it is his baby of course he keeps it)

THEN I WOKE UP!!  (」° ロ °)」

and I was left with a dazed and feverish haze sitting on the edge of my bed staring at a shoe for like 10 minutes desperately thinking what else I could remember about the crazy cool dream I just had so I could take notes on everything, because that was a damn REVELATION!!, and then do something, anything, just something because it was too good to be true and when I looked for Rido x Zero fics on the internet they were all dark and distressing and unfinished fics and that was a big NO! And guess who's scribbling half-formed sketches and ideas with the happiness of a kindergartener right now? I don't know if this is going to end in a fic or a fanart or a comic or what the hell, but now it's my baby.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #801: The Villains' Vacation (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

9:12 a.m. at Isle Defino's Patio........

Hades: (Takes a Sip of His Margarita Before Sighing Relaxingly) Paradise at last.

Bowser: (Raises his Glass Up) Couldn't agree more, brother. This is the life.

Ganondorf: (Turns to Bowser) You know, I have to say, Bowser. That was impressive how you've managed to have the town folks here turn against Mario even after he saved them.

Bowser: (Chuckles Lightly) Thanks, man. But you gotta give credit to Junior for this too. He did everything he could to make sure the whole scheme goes smoothly. Granted, it was mostly because the Piantas here are too stupid for their own good....(Smirks Evilly and Triumphantly) But it still worked all the same!! (Takes a Sip of his Margarita as Well)

Ridley: You know, I've been wondering this for a while now. But how come that Kazuya guy didn't join along with us to begin with?

Sephiroth: (Turns to Ridley While Rubbing the Top of Pichu's Head) He went back to his universe. Said something about staying at the mountains for a couple of weeks or whatever.

Bowser: (Eyes Widened a Bit in Surprise) Sheesh......The ladies really got to him that badly, huh?

Ganondorf: (Crosses his Arms While Smirking) That they did and I couldn't be any more happier. But enough about the worm, what are you boys' planning to do here in a couple of weeks?

Bowser: I'm gonna spend more times with my kids. (Smirk Evilly) Maybe even laugh at Mario some more while I'm at it.

Sephiroth: Pichu and I are going to learn more about this island. Given that it's my first ever stepping foot on one and all.

Pichu: (Smiles Brightly) Pichu!

Hades: I'm going hit the bar from across the street tonight. See if their drinks and boozes are any good or not.

Ganondorf: Alright. But try not to cause too much trouble while you're there.

Hades: Oh relax. I won't be THAT much of a menace. Besides....(Smrks Evilly Himself) If anything goes south there, I could always pin it all on the plumber.

Bowser: (Laughs Evilly Before Fist Bumping Hades) Nice!

Ridley: I'm gonna sit back and relax here too. Maybe even watch the waves pass by while I'm at it.

Bowser: What? No hitting with the ladies this time, Casanova?

Ridley: Nah. The residents here are not my type. Plus, I think they're already married so......

Bowser: Wow. Ridley actually being decent for once?

Hades: That's SOOO unheard from!!!

Ridley: (Gives Bowser and Hades a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Fuck you guys......

Ganondorf: Speaking if ladies, have either of you seen where Dark Samus is gone to?

Bowser: She said she's changing into a swimsuit she brought a couple of days ago. I wonder what's taking her......

Sephiroth: Perhaps she's having trouble of putting it on.

Bowser: Probably-

???: U-Um......

The gang turns their heads around and see a shyly dark blue skinned woman, with a hairstyle that Is almost resembles that to to Samus' (Only difference being that the hair's color is sky blue), wearing a blackish swimsuit.

Hades: (Genuinely Surprised) Woah.

Bowser: Damn........

Ganondorf: Dark Samus? Is that you, love?

Dark Samus: Yes. I was able to shape shift into the Bounty Hunter's appearance successfully. Do I.....(Starts Blushing) Look presentable?

Bowser: (Smiles Brightly) Are you kidding? You look great!

Sephiroth: (Nodded in Agreement) I agree. The swimsuit looks good on you as well. (Looks Down at Pichu) Isn't that right, son?

Pichu: (Smiles Brightly at Dark Samus) Pichu-Pi!~

Hades: With an appearance like, you'll be having all the fellas fawn over you in no time. (Smirks a bit Evilly) Hell, you might even make the husbands reconsider their marriage life.

Ganondorf: I wouldn't exactly go that far, Hades.....(Smiles Softly at the Woman) But yes, Dark Samus. You look wonderful.

Dark Samus: (Smiles Softly at the Gang While Still Blushing) Thank you.

Ridley speechlessly stares at Dark Samus in complete awe. All while singing a love song in his inner conscious.

Ridley: (Suddenlyyyyy~ LIFE HAS A NEW MEANING.....to meeeee~ There's beauty up aboveee~ And things we've never took notice offf~ You wake up...and suddenly.... you're in loveeeeee~)

Dark Samus: (Turns to Ridley With a Confused yet Worried Look on her Face) Ridley?

Bowser: (Groans While Pinching his Nose in Annoyance) Oh great.....He became a love struck dumbass again.....

Ganondorf: I wonder how long it will last?

Sephiroth: I'll give him three days.

Hades: I'll give him an hour.

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@26shann

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

[auroras-blend]

The Enemy of My Enemy

Summary: Vittoria meets the one, the only, the woman who convicted her father, the ex-wife of her arch-nemesis, a dynamite lawyer: Marie Thibodeaux!

Notes: Told in Vittoria's POV. Marie is only a cameo 😢

A myriad of blue and purple puzzle pieces surrounded her skirt. Well, how am I supposed to do this in just an hour? Vittoria was more or less sour that her father left her with Sawyer in his office as he ran errands, because 1) she was with Sawyer and 2) she was bored out of her mind. When the door had shut, Sawyer had barked at her to be quiet and quite literally threw the puzzle box in her face and told her to play with it. It was brand new and she could only assume it was to go to one of the grandchildren he’d never seen. He barely has any photos of his family! There was a picture of him, his first wife, and two sons on his desk and another photo of his daughter to the side that both looked to be taken decades before she was born. I’d be sad if he were my father.

Sawyer was busy writing aggressively, his tone sharp and bitter as he was on the phone with someone. I should scream he’s killing me...that’d be funny. She giggled at the thought and earned herself a nasty scowl from the man himself. What was lovely about Sawyer was that he would swear around her because he knew damn well her mother did and he really seemed to be the only person who understood there was no more protecting her poor little ears, that he says stick out worse than Mickeys. They do not!

With a little huff, she began to assemble the puzzle of the sea, or at least that's what it said it’d be according to the box. And in her opinion, she was doing extremely well! “Look!” she pointed gleefully, “I’m almost done!”

“Wooooow,” Sawyer murmured, his eyes glued to his paper, “We should have you tested to see if you’re gifted…”

Vittoria pouted. “This is why you’re not married anymore.”

That little jab may have hit too close to home because he flung a paperweight at her that hit her in the face again. It wasn’t too heavy and it most certainly didn’t break anything, but the hate and suddenness of it made her start crying. “Keep your trap shut,” he growled.

It seemed he was even crueler today and of course she was his victim. Her little hands gripped the smooth glossy paperweight and threw it back, but it couldn’t go much farther than to bounce against the top of his desk. Her strength didn’t match his and she started bawling, “Pathetic weak little thing…”

“You’re so mean to me! I hate you and-,”

“WHERE IS THAT COCKSUCKING MORALLESS CLOWN-,” boomed a voice that made Sawyer go white as a sheet of paper.

The whites of his eyes were on display as he sprung out of his chair and shut the blinds. He ripped her off the ground and put a finger to her lips, “Shut up,” he whispered, “Shut up right now.”

Sobs still heaved from her body, the sounds being drowned out by the woman outside. “I-I can’t! You hurt me!”

“Fuck,” he cursed, “I’ll give you...two dollars! Two dollars if you’re quiet right now!”

Her cries quieted down, but not completely. Sawyer was close to trembling, his grip on her shoulders and the look in his eyes were pleading. Huh, he’s desperate… “Five,” she said.

Might as well...He grit his teeth and growled, “Fine. Now shut up.”

Vittoria nodded and retreated into the corner. “Ma’am, you can’t go in there-,” screamed the secretary.

Right as Sawyer was about to turn out the light, the door slammed open and smashed his hand against the wall. “Fuck!” he screamed in pain, pulling it close to him as he scrambled away.

The lighting fixtures flickered but remained on as who Vittoria imagined being the goddess Nemesis stood between the doorway to the firm and to Sawyer’s former safe haven. The woman was dressed in a dark navy blazer and skirt with a white undershirt. Circular glasses were falling down the bridge of her nose as her hateful gaze met Sawyer’s beady one. She had a straight-cut bob that fell beneath her chin, her hair grey in a way that demonstrated that too many people annoyed her in her lifetime. For a moment, her heart sank because that's what she could imagine her Mama to look like if she had lived that long. “You motherfucking son of a bitch!”

She even curses like Mama, well she has an accent. It sounded southern to her but with an air that she couldn't quite place. Despite being more or less terrified of everyone around her, she was unafraid of the woman. And she’s right. “Marie, you psychotic cunt, get the fuck out!”

The woman stormed right up to him and put her finger in her face. “HOW DARE YOU?! BRINGING HIM BACK!”

“It’s none of your business anymore, now get out! Call security!” he shouted at his poor shaking assistant.

“This entire case is my business! How much did it cost you to sell what you pass off as a soul?”

Vittoria giggled and right when she did, she clapped her hands to her mouth. The red-eyed gazes shifted to her, puffs of air coming out from their noses and mouths. “Oh...another one of your spawn’s spawn?” she sneered.

“No!” Vittoria protested, “I’m not related to him!”

The thought of being related to Sawyer revolted her to her core. “How fortunate for you.”

“I think so,” she smiled.

“Didn’t I tell you to be quiet? You lost that five bucks,” he seethed.

Damn.

“Who’s the kid?”

“I’ve been kidnapped!” she cried dramatically, wiping the remaining wetness from her eyes, “He’s a predator!”

Sawyer jumped, “No, she’s not! I did not!”

Her words seemed to be more terrifying than what the woman, Marie, threw at him. “You sick son of a-are you prostituting kids now?”

“ENOUGH!” he shouted, “Where’s that damn security?!”

“Because that’s the only way you can get rid of me, huh? Not in court but by men bigger than you to do your dirty work. Hell, you’re not even the boss. You don’t call the shots! You worthless piece of shit! How can you stand to look at yourself?”

“I ask him the same thing every day,” Vittoria shook her head sorrowfully.

“I’m this close,” he pinched his fingers and left a barely visible space between them, “To cutting out your tongue.”

Vittoria stepped back in fear. “Threatening bodily harm to a six-year-old? You really are a jack shit lawyer-”

“I’m nine actually. I’m just small,” Vittoria added. That information wasn't relevant but Vittoria thought it was.

“He also threw a paperweight at me,” she said pointing to the ball that stood still on the floor, “It hurt.”

“Oh...and assault. You really can’t get any lower,” Marie hissed, “I hope you can afford a good lawyer. I’d offer, but I despise you and I hate to take lost causes.”

Shivers rolled down her spine as she heard Sawyer grind his teeth. “Go back to the pits of hell where you belong, or whatever they’re calling Chicago these days, and maybe I won’t charge you for trespassing,” he snapped at the woman.

Marie scoffed, “You were so close to being free of him. And you brought him back, you pathetic worm.”

She could tell that dug into Sawyer deep. “He’s been a-,” he began to defend before eyeing Vittoria, “No. Just get out. I’ve got work to do.”

He retreated back to his seat and stepped on the puzzle she had been working on. No… Marie scowled at him, “You’re gonna end up dead one day.”

“We all do,” Sawyer sighed.

Anger rolled off Marie before her eyes met Vittoria’s. “Are you really okay, kid? You need any help?”

“I’ll survive,” she said politely.

Marie nodded. “If you ever need a good lawyer, don’t call him. He’s terrible, I should know, I was married to him,” she smirked, her eyes glowing with vindication at Sawyer whose own hazel eyes were full of hostility, “And I also beat his ass in court.”

Vittoria gasped. She was starry-eyed and already adored her, unknowing that this was the woman who convicted her father. Sawyer was glowering at her over papers, “ I’m meeting one of his ex-wives! “You poor woman. I’m so sorry,” she said with true genuineness, before clarifying her statement, “For being married to him. Not for beating him.”

Vittoria giggled at the last part. I love her. She’s mean to Sawyer. I’d do anything for her. She reminds me so much of Mama. With a last smile, she pushed by the security guards who finally arrived. Ooooh, Sawyer’s gonna fire them. Part of her was sad to see her go, knowing that Sawyer would wring her neck soon. For a moment, she had been transported back to how it was with her mother. It was probably a good thing Marie didn’t stay, otherwise, Vittoria most certainly would’ve imprinted on her and followed her around like a little duckling. “Can I be her?” she asked dreamily.

“No,” Sawyer said in a cold tone, “Come sit here.”

Vittoria obeyed and climbed into the large leather seat across from him, letting her legs swing back and forth as they couldn’t touch the ground. Wow, I feel like a grown-up. Sawyer put down his pen and looked at her. He wasn’t angry, just thoughtful and that confused her. He sighed and got up to open a globe in the corner of the room, “Whoa!”

Inside was an assortment of drinks and liquors that were half-empty. Beautiful amber-brown liquids filled the crystal cruet set, and Sawyer took the liberty to pour himself a drink. Sawyer closed the globe and gripped his glass and another empty one. Sawyer paused in front of a cabinet before opening the bottom door that revealed a mini-fridge. The cold air whooshed out when he pulled the door open, featuring rows of sodas, sparkling in their cans. “Rootbeer, black cherry, or strawberry?”

“What?” she whispered.

“Which one?” he asked again, gesturing to the sodas.

“Papa...Papa won’t let me. He won’t even let me have juice,” she frowned.

Sawyer shrugged, “Fine then…”

“Wait!” she called out before he closed the door.

She bit her lip. This is wrong. Maybe he’s doing this as a trap...but I’ve never had soda before. What if we get in a car crash on our way home and I die never having a soda?! No...Papa won’t let me and I have to be good for him, so no...I can’t have soda. And that’s that. “I’ll have the strawberry one please,” she said aloud and watched him pour the brown fizzing drink into a glass and hand it to her.

I can hear the bubbles! Vittoria felt giddy, excited to have something forbidden and sweet. Something she’d always wanted to try! A smile spread across her face as she put it up to her mouth, the foam and bubbles tickling her nose and causing her to sneeze. “Achoo!”

She wrinkled her nose to get rid of the itch as she pressed the thick crystal rim to her lips and tilted the glass back, allowing the sweet bubbly drink to drip into her mouth and leave a burning sensation down her throat. Vittoria coughed, “It burns!”

“That’s the carbonation,” Sawyer said plainly as he sat down again, “Vittoria...you know how we hate each other?”

She blinked, surprised at how honest he was being. “Yes…”

“Hm, well you know how we both love your father very much? And want him to be happy and safe?”

“Yes,” she said again, her voice worried.

“That woman who came in, my ex-wife, she doesn’t want that. She doesn’t want your father to be happy and she’s one of the people who believe lies about him. In fact, Marie is one of the people who spread those lies,” he scowled.

It was the first time she ever believed something Sawyer said. It was said with such a raw intensity that he couldn’t be lying to her, or at least lying to her entirely. “What?” she whispered.

“Vittoria, she’s not our friend. You can’t trust her and the moment she finds out you’re his daughter, she’ll want to exploit that, you. Marie will stop at nothing and will use you to take him down, which is why you can never tell her anything. Please, never talk to her again,” he said seriously.

“But...but she was nice,” she mumbled, to me.

Sawyer rolled his eyes, “Well this isn’t about us. It’s about protecting your father. So can you put our differences aside and treat her as what she is? A threat to our family?”

An alliance with Sawyer? She never wanted to agree with him on anything, but the way he was speaking set her nerves on alert. He means it...he’s serious. “Yes,” she agreed, “Anything for Papa. I-I don’t want to see him get hurt…”

“Good,” Sawyer nodded, “Then it’s agreed. You won’t speak to Marie or about her, ever again.”

“Agreed.”

“You are a smart girl, then,” he grinned, “One more thing, let me tell your father everything.”

“I’ll let you if you give me back my five dollars.”

“Not a chance.”

“I’ll go home and say it anyway,” she reasoned.

“Two dollars.”

“Three.”

“Two and a strawberry tab.”

“Three,” she insisted.

He narrowed his eyes, “Fine.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sawyer,” she said pleasantly.

Sawyer smiled greasily and leaned forward against his desk, holding out his drink. Vittoria took her cue and tapped her glass against his, a sweet clink, sounding out as they toasted. As she took a sip of her soda, she couldn’t help feeling like she made a deal with the devil.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

What The Stark Spangled F**k?

Drabble- Fuck Off, Clown

Summary: It’s Halloween, and Jamie’s outfit isn’t quite to Steve’s liking. Warnings: Non- some bad language...some almost smut, but nothing major...and a Super Soldier with coulrophobia... A/N: So if you all remember in Phobias, Steve admits to Katie he has a fear of clowns. I do as well, so this came out of a little fun chat with my Evangers (you know who you are girls) as a further expansion on the incident referred to in The Devil Wears Nada. Takes place during the 5 years post Snap. Hope you enjoy!

October 2022

“All set?” Katie asked as she reached the bottom of the stairs as Steve walked back into the hall having loaded their bags into the car. They were heading off to Tony’s lake-house for a few days where he was throwing a bit of a Halloween party, nothing major but it was a chance for the kids to get dressed up in costumes and eat a load of candy whilst the adults could kick back and drink. Katie was looking forward to it for two reasons. Firstly, it was always nice to gather together with friends and family, well those of them that were left post snap-it made her feel normal, and she could push that persistent feeling of sadness that seemed to manifest on a daily basis, back down into the depth of her mind. And secondly, she was a little excited because she had no idea what Emmy or Jamie’s outfits were going to be. Emmy had asked a month or so ago if she could be in charge of getting the pair of them costumes and Katie had agreed, simply handing over her card when she wanted to order whatever it was off the internet. She’d even resisted the urge to check her statement to see what it was as Emmy had demanded she didn’t try and find out. Katie had a sneaking suspicion that Tony had also been involved in these costume choices, as the last time her brother had been over a few weeks ago, the pair of them had been huddled on the large arm chair, sniggering as they looked at something on Tony’s phone. With that in mind she was expecting Jamie to come down in some form of Iron Man or Captain America costume and she had every intention of filming Steve’s response.

“Yup. Locked and loaded.” Steve nodded, dropping a kiss to her cheek. As soon as the kids are ready we can go.”

“No rush.” Katie shrugged, looking at her watch as they walked into the kitchen. “We don’t need to be there for a few hours.” She wrinkled her nose and slapped at Steve’s hand as he went to peek under the foil wrapped plate on the side. He sharply withdrew it and grinned at her.

“Tell me that’s a pie.”

“Apple and pumpkin, but it’s for the party.”

Steve pouted and she laughed and jerked her head behind her “There’s another there as I knew you wouldn’t be able to wait.”

“You-” Steve pecked her lips “-are” another peck “-the best.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere Captain.” She smirked as his lips hovered over hers, before he deepened the kiss slightly, both his hands sliding down to give her ass a playful squeeze before he stepped back and walked over to his coveted prize. Steve peeled back the little cloth that was over the top and gave a little groan that was positively sinful as he inhaled the smell.

“Don’t eat that straight out of the pie dish.” Katie warned him as he made his way to the freezer for the ice cream, “I was gonna cut a few slices for the kids to munch on the way.”

“Then they can get their own.” Steve grumbled a little, but he grabbed a plate none the less.

“Oh yeah, where from?” Katie asked, her hands on her hips.

“Don’t know, don’t care…” Steve muttered as he cut himself a huge slice of the coveted pie. He ladled a generous amount of vanilla ice cream on top then carried it over to the breakfast bar, sitting down as Katie gathered the rest of the food items she had said she would bring which included a huge dish of Mac and Cheese that she’d coloured green with food colouring, spaghetti and meatballs that were supposed to be worms,  cinnamon and apple cookies in the shape of pumpkins and a batch of home-made raspberry and cherry gin which had been done using the raspberries and cherries from the brambles and trees in their small orchard at the bottom of the garden. She began packing it all into a hamper as Steve took the first bit of his pie and gave another groan.

“You know…” he swallowed, waving his fork at her as he gave her a playful grin “I think this pie is actually better than sex.”

Katie looked at him, arching her eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“It’s a very close call.” He nodded.

“Well maybe I should make you a pie once a week instead of letting you get me on my back.” Katie looked at him, closing the lid on the basket and pushing it to one side, leaning over the breakfast bar.

“Ok, first off we have sex way more than once a week.” Steve pointed his fork at her “and second-“ his eyes glinted cheekily “-you’re not always on your back.”

“True.” Katie pursed her lips and reached for his fork, snatching it from his hand “But if you think I’m baking a pie more than once a week you’ve got another thing coming.” She used the fork to take a piece of the sweet treat along with a large blog of ice cream and shoved it in her mouth, closing her eyes. She moaned a little, ensuring that the noise that left her throat was as sinful as she could make it, before she opened her eyes and used her thumb to wipe at a little trickle of ice cream in the corner of her mouth. With her eyes locked on Steve she sucked her thumb clean and smirked a little at the familiar glint of dark in his eyes that he always got when he was turned on.

“You’re lucky you’re the other side of the breakfast bar.” He leaned forward a little, elbows resting on the marble surface, his voice a low timbre that sent those familiar sparks up Katie’s spine.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Katie asked innocently, ignoring the sudden flutter she’d felt between her legs at his tone.

“Because if you weren’t you be in my lap right now testing my theory.”

“Shame…” she nodded, looking around. “I mean it’s not like you could reach and drag me over it or anything.”

“Well I could…” Steve agreed “But there’s a piece of pie in the way. And it’s too good to waste.”

“You’re a jerk!” Katie shook her head as Steve laughed, before he leaned back in the stool and patted his right thigh

“C’mere pretty girl.”

Katie grinned, the sound of him calling her pretty girl always did things to her, as did the soft instruction to ‘come here’ in his Brooklyn accent. She rounded the bar and he reached out, easily pulling her onto his lap so she was perched sideways, legs hanging over the side of his right thigh as he curled his left arm around her waist, right gently resting on her thigh. Katie’s right arm slid round his neck and he titled his face to look at her.

“Just for the record you taste far better than any pie you make.” He grinned and Katie’s mouth fell open at his dirty comment.

“Steven Grant Rogers!” she snorted, slapping his shoulder slightly and he laughed, his hand on her thigh tightening its grip slightly, fingers curling round the toned muscles which were evident once again due to Katie having started training again. Steve actually kind of missed the softness that she’d had since having Jamie but he was damned if he was going to tell her that. As long as she was comfortable in her body that was fine by him. He leaned towards her slightly, his nose bumping hers a little as she gently trailed her hand over the nape of his neck, nails scratching just below his hair line above the collar of his black sweater.

“Love you.” He said gently, his lips brushing hers and she smiled, her fingers tanging in the hair at the back of his head.

“More than apple pie?” she teased and he chuckled.

“Infinitely Mrs Rogers.”

“More than Mac and Cheese?” Steve hesitated and Katie scoffed “Rude.” Before he laughed again and pressed his lips to hers.

“For the record I love you more than anything.” He smiled “Well, apart from the kids.”

“I’ll accept that exception.” Katie chuckled, he mouth finding his again. The kiss deepened, Katie letting out a soft sigh as his tongue brushed against hers, tasting the apple pie and Ice Cream he had been eating before. Steve’s hand skated up the outside of her thigh coming to rest on her hip, finger tips brushing the strip of skin where her top had ridden up slightly as her own hand fisted slightly in his hair. Completely lost in one another they almost missed the little footsteps coming down the stairs and the giggles in the hallway. Almost, that is. Steve’s tuned hearing heard it first and he pulled back, looking at Katie who grinned.

“Play your cards right we can finish this later.”

“At Tony’s?”

“Yeah.” She shrugged “Won’t be the first time we fucked in his spare room.”

Steve snorted at her and patted her ass as she hopped off his lap.

“Mom, Dad!” Emmy called “We’re ready for you to see us!”

“We heard!” Katie called back as Steve stood up, grabbing his plate of pie. He took another bite before he wandered into the hallway where he collided with Katie who had stopped dead just outside the door. Frowning he looked up and stopped dead.

A clown.

His 2 year old son was dressed as a fucking clown. And not just any clown, which would have been bad enough, but that bastard clown from IT. The film he refused time and time again to watch because of said bastard clown…which was now stood on the bottom step of the stairs holding a red balloon.

And suddenly, all he could see was that damned clown at Coney Island chasing him through the stalls, Bucky’s laughter echoing in his ears…and then that fucking mirror maze where he’d had the panic attack as he was surrounded by them.

The plate holding his precious pie slipped from his hand and dropped to the tiled floor, where it broke into 3 pieces, its contents splattering all over the grey slate.

“Woah, Dad…didn’t think it would be that scary!” Emmy grinned from behind Jamie as she stood in her outfit, which was a superb replica of the Wicked Witch of the West complete with full green face-paint and a broomstick.

Katie looked over her shoulder at Steve and she could see from his face that he was really struggling to keep it together. Trying not to laugh at the expression of sheer horror on his handsome features, she clamped her lips together and turned to Emmy.

“Your dad’s…” she took a deep breath, trying not to laugh “He’s scared of clowns.”

“Oh…” Emmy frowned “Uncle Tony said he would love it.”

“I bet he did.” Steve bit out a little harshly and Emmy looked at him.

“Are you mad?” she asked and seeing the look on her face Steve inwardly cursed his phobia and his damned brother in law.

“No, honey…” he shook his head “Not at all…you both look…” he trailed off.

“Daddy, look!” Jamie grinned, and he jumped off the bottom step “Balloon!”

He toddled over towards Steve who automatically took a few steps back and Jamie stopped in front of him, right by Katie’s side, a confused expression crossing his painted face. “Daddy?”

“Yeah, pal…I gotta…” Steve exhaled “I gotta put some stuff in the car so we can to go to Uncle Nee’s ok?”

“Kay…” Jamie said a little quietly.

Katie watched, her shoulders shaking in silent laughter as Steve went to move round Jamie, turning sideways so he could keep his eyes on him, before he pushed past Emmy and bolted up the stairs taking them 3 at a time.

The hallway was silent bar the sounds Lucky was making as he cleaned up the remnants of the pie on the floor, not wanting to miss a single crumb of his human food treasure.

“Em, why don’t you two take Lucky and go get in the car, we’ll be out in a little moment.”

“Ok. Come on Jay!” Em said. She grabbed his hand but Jamie, clearly now finding the reaction his dad had as amusing, turned to his mom and made a little growling noise at her. Katie gave a fake scream and jolted back, causing Jamie to cackle a little, tilting his head back in mirth before he toddled after his sister.

As soon as they were out of sight and earshot Katie started to laugh. She laughed so hard that she had to retreat to the kitchen to sit at a chair. She doubled over, clutching at her stomach, trying to gather her breath as the tears poured down her face. Try as she might, she couldn’t get the image of Steve fighting the urge to punt his own son into another room out of her head.

Eventually she managed to sort herself out enough to grab her phone and swiped over to the number she wanted.

“Hey Kiddo.” Tony greeted

“Tony, you…” she started to laugh again “You better be able to run fast because Steve…he’s…”

Tony chuckled “he liked the costume then…”

“Tony he freaked.” She laughed “Like, seriously…poor Steve. I expected like a full Captain America outfit, not that!”

“Well, on this occasion the Spangles just weren’t enough”

“You’re a little shit, you know that?”

“It’s been said.” He conceded “Did you get it on video?”

“No.” Katie sighed “I was going to but when I saw Pennywise on my damned stairs I knew what was gonna happen so…”

“Shame.” Tony sighed, “We could have played that back later. For science.”

At that point Katie looked up as Steve walked into the kitchen, glancing round.

“He’s not in here…” She chuckled and Steve glared at her, before he gestured to the phone.

“That Tony?”

She nodded.

He reached out and snatched the phone off her, “You’re a dead man.” He growled down the handset, and Katie could hear her brother’s roar of laughter before Steve hung up and tossed the phone down onto the table.

“Calm down!” Katie laughed, standing up “Steve, it’s just a costume.” “Katie, they freak me the hell out!” he shook his head “You don’t…” his hands dropped to his hips and his head dropped “Did you see his face when I backed away?”

“Oh, he’s fine!” Katie said, rubbing Steve’s arms “He couldn’t care less.” Steve took a deep breath and she looked at him “Do you want me to get him to change?”

Steve shook his head “No, he was so pleased with himself…plus, I don’t fancy that particular tantrum now do you?”

“Not really no.”

Steve shrugged “Then I guess I’m stuck with it. Come on, let’s get gone. Sooner we get there the sooner I can carry out my threat to kill your asshole brother.”

Steve grabbed the food hamper and headed out to the car with it, settling it onto the trunk of the car as Katie got into the passenger side. Once Steve finished his usual checks to ensure the door was locked, he climbed into the driver’s seat ant they set off.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah buddy?” Steve asked, glancing in the mirror automatically and once more was confronted by that fucking clown. He swallowed and turned his eyes to the front.

“No scared, daddy. I not real clown.”

Katie chuckled as Steve pulled out of the drive onto the road. “I know pal, but it’s Halloween. Everyone gets scared at some point.”

Jamie nodded, accepting his answer and turned to look out of the window. As they approached a junction, Steve checked the mirror again and then sighed, shaking his head.

“You’re gonna hafta drive.” He looked at Katie.

“What?”

“I can’t do it.” He shrugged “Every time I check the mirror, all I can see is…” “Are you being serious?” Katie looked at him.

“Absolutely.” Steve unclipped the seatbelt and climbed out of the car.

And right then Katie vowed that if Steve didn’t kill Tony, she was gonna.

[canary-prince]

Some More Surgeon Stuff: A Borderlands Fic Snippet

Much, much later in the timeline of The Surgeon, Dr. Julian Poppy pilfers from their patients to get some crucial medical records. One obstacle: they have to get said records from the Twins’ father. 

This is bookended by two halves a scene where Poppy is talking to Typhon, but the bulk of it is Poppy Origin Story. Click under the cut for medical horror, lots of death, reminders that Atlas was awful and Hyperion is run by demons, Sad Siren Stuff, and some neat reveals about why Poppy is So Damn Good at this. 

They shouldn’t have stolen from the Twins. They knew that. But they also knew that there was no way they were getting this information consensually, so they did it anyway. Questions needed answers and there was only one way to get them. 

Poppy crouched over the dialpad, hand not moving at all as one hyperflexible finger flew across the buttons. The sequence was 14 digits long, and then there was a basic “I Am Authorized To Discover This Cloaked Communicator” password. Which they had also stolen. 

Galaxies away, in an empty star cluster, a holocommunicator rang and rang into a nearly empty cavern, and Poppy waited. 

There was a fuzzing of static, and the call connected. A pudgy man with dark, thinning hair and eyes wreathed in crow’s feet was staring with rapt hope into the screen, and his ruddy face fell when he registered who he was looking. “Hey!” He squawked. “Who the heck are you, and how did you get on this line?” 

Poppy eyed him as they huddled further on their seat. The man had clearly been asleep, clad only in ragged underwear, and seemed to have run to the communicator; he was breathing heavily as he leaned on the console. “Are you the father of the twin Sirens named Troy and Tyreen?” Poppy asked curtly, and the man’s eyes blew wide. 

“I...you...who are you? What have you done with my kids?” There was genuine rage in the man’s voice, stance turning aggressive. “I wanna see ‘em, right now!” 

“So, they aren’t here right now.” Poppy wrapped their arms around their legs, and didn’t bother to hide their extra joints, or their hypermobility. It didn’t go unnoticed by their new acquaintance; he jumped a little as Poppy’s limbs bent too far and too many places. As their back curved impossibly on unlinked vertebrae, and their chin sunk to their cold metal knees, they saw the man eyeing them in visible disgust. “I’m their primary care physician,” they said, and registered more confusion in the man’s gaze. “Well. I’m a surgeon actually. So, Troy’s surgeon--” 

“You been cutting into my boy?” The man barked, and Poppy nodded. 

“So, that’s what a surgeon does, yes. I’ve made significant improvements to his health and his quality of life. Once I repaired the damage that you did to him, that is.” 

There was a stretch of silence, and the man asked, “What in the fuck are you talking about you worm-faced freak?” 

Poppy smiled at him, and started tapping and drumming on their shins, enjoying the sounds that naturally grew a rhythm. What a relief to stop masking after a day of trying to appear a bit more normal. “So, I’m talking about your short-sighted, makeshift treatments. I’m talking about your son’s deformed skeleton. The skeleton that’s not deformed from birth, but from an fuck-up in his hormone levels. Which even the shitty hospitals on mid tier planets could have fixed with a simple medication cocktail. I’m talking about his ulcers and his kidneys.” 

Rage was coloring the man’s features, but his shoulders were hunching in; shame was bearing down on his posture. “You have no fucking right to--” 

Poppy shook their head, sharply, knowing instinctively that they had extended their neck too much. The man’s face blanching confirmed it. “I’m the best fucking surgeon in the six galaxies. So, no one has more right than me. Except maybe the person who put him back together. Oh. Wait. So, that’s me too.” Poppy shook their head again, wondering if they still looked like a vulture when they did that. That’s what the other surgeons had looked like when shaking their heads: vultures, blind vultures trying to listen for the sounds of decay. “I didn’t call to shame you. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’m starting a new treatment course with Troy; so, I need his medical records.” 

Like Tyreen, the man had begun grimacing whenever Poppy said ‘so’; he probably also found the tick annoying. Poppy resolved to do it more often as the man said curtly: “If I did such a crappy job keepin’ him alive, whaddya need my ‘short-sighted’ records for, huh?” 

“So, I need to know the longest he’s gone apart from Tyreen; he can’t remember. I need to know the exact circumstances of their surgical separation. How and why and what happened afterwards. I need to know if he’s ever had a bone marrow transplant, and I can’t tell if he never HAD a gallbladder or if you cut it out for some reason.” 

They and the man looked at each other. The man looking grieved and angry, and Poppy deliberately moon-eyed. After several seconds of silence, the man said harshly, “I’ll tell you if you answer MY questions too, got it?” 

“Of course you want something for it. So. Don’t know why I’m surprised.” 

“Okay, Jimmeny Cricket, what exactly are you?” 

“Human. Mostly. What are YOU?”     

-

Julian Poppy entered medical school at the age of six. And by medical school, they meant the Atlas corporation Pain Surgeon program. For the next twenty years, they spent sixteen hours a day in “class”. Combat surgery, infectious disease management, pharmacological engineering, diagnostic protocol, and everything else under the sun that the Atlas board deemed valuable. It was hard. Impossibly hard. The reading made their eyes hurt and the surgeries were disgusting. The chemicals burned their hands and the diseases they had to study scared them. 

But it was still better than the alternative. When Poppy wasn’t in class, they were in treatment. 

When they complained that the reading made their eyes hurt, they were strapped to a metal bed and tiny knives cut into their corneas. Under the flaps, tiny lens were inserted, so they could read until they collapsed and never feel the strain. Inside all their joints, nanotech was implanted, tripling their range of motion. When that wasn’t enough, their bones were cracked strategically and entirely new joints were added into the spaces. Their arms and fingers were lengthed, as was their spine and neck. Instead of adding new vertebrae, however, the existing ones were forcibly spaced out; the muscles supporting them strengthened with artificial mesh to support the changes. Of course, their skin had to be made stretchier, to accommodate how greatly they could bend and twist now. This, however, did permanent damage to the texture and color. 

At one point, Poppy could recall disliking these changes. Could recall despairing at the color draining from their skin, and feeling revulsion as their body twisted and changed. Had looked into the mirror and seen something ugly and subhuman looking back. It had filled them with rage and sorrow and many other dark emotions. 

Poppy had raged at other things too. At their parents, for selling them. At Atlas, for treating them like a machine that was capable of things beyond normal human capacity. At God, for not letting them die. But, luckily for them, there was still a survival instinct, flickering somewhere deep inside them. And it wired their jaw shut, forced their eyes down, kept their arms down at their sides instead of flailing violently. Defiance, resistance, escape attempts; all of this would’ve gotten them a bullet to the brain years and years ahead of schedule.  

Eventually, that survival instinct decided that those emotions were too volatile to keep around; Poppy stopped feeling anything at all for a long time. There was only the work. If they focused on the work alone, sometimes, they could almost enjoy themselves. 

Sometimes.    

Poppy had about a dozen or so surviving classmates when they left school for the battlefield. During the corporate siege of Pandora that eventually destroyed Atlas, Poppy and the other pain surgeons followed Crimson Lance forces from mission to mission. Soldiers were brought to them in pieces. Riddled with bullets and stab wounds and the bizarre sorts of injuries sustained on Pandora. Like vultures over a fresh corpse, they’d bend to their task. Cutting and hacking and carving. Blood would mist into the air, coating their goggles, soaking their masks, freckling their hair. 

When they weren’t descending like locusts onto the fields of the dead and dying, they stalked the rest of the Borderlands. Like the UFOs of ancient Earth, they’d break the atmospheres of Promethea, and Eden-6, and any of the other hundreds of undefended and perpetually exploited planets of the six galaxies. In the dark of night, their ships would hunt and seize the sick, the disabled, the unhoused, the unlucky. Some of these randomly selected test subjects survived, though the brain damage from the memory erasing technology was nothing to sneeze at. When they did die, their bodies were kept for further experimentation. 

On Atlas controlled planets--present and former--the legends of the horrible things in the flying operating theaters lived on. Other Border planets had them too; they were not an uncommon nightmare. The original founders of the Crimson Raiders, if you ask them about the Pain Surgeons, had a variety of responses. Lilith would go quiet and angry, say that there was no such thing. That they were boogeymen from the war, not any real threat. Mordecai knows they’re real, and he fears them still. Worries that when he finally dies, it will be the pain surgeons who await him, not the Reaper. Brick doesn’t want to talk about them. Roland would say, “If they were ever real, they’re all dead now.” 

None of them know or knew if they’d ever been in the nameless ship with its walls that stank of death. They wouldn’t remember. Poppy remembers. Poppy remembers all their faces. All their screams. All the rhythm of their beating hearts. 

When Poppy thought back to that time, they thought of the mobile operating theater, where the worst of the worst got triaged too. A massive, lifeless tube, floating like a morbid blimp as explosions rocked them side to side. High above the battlefield, the surgeons hunched over the broken bodies of their company’s war meat, and tried to put them back together. Even with a gyroscopically stable operating table and a fine-tuned team of unparalleled sawbones, there was rarely anything to be done. 

But that was alright. Pain Surgeons were not meant to be life-savers. They were meant to be advantage creators. And they created multitudes of advantages for Atlas. 

Super-soldiers, mutants, undead suicude bombers, chimeric monsters of random parts. And research. Miles and miles and years and years of research. On the human body. What it did. How it worked. Research that Atlas sold for a profit; years later, Poppy would obsessively hunt down every breakthrough that came from it. Antidepressants delivered via topical gel. A quick and simple brain surgery that ended alcohol addiction in 79% of recipients. The cure for type 1 diabetes. Thousands of surgical techniques. Millions of advancements in treatments of broken bones and severe burns. 

Such grand works. But with those works came the stink of blood and digestive fluid, which one batch of zombified shock troops would vomit onto captured enemies. The acidic fluids melted their victims’ faces. After a few months, they’d rot away to shredded gore, and be replaced with fresh victims. There was the image, still vivid decades later, of a failed experiment being burned alive in her cell. Her screams had been the music of Poppy’s nightmares ever since, as had the crackling of her skin and the bubbling of her eyes. Or what about the battalion enhanced by nanotech which was supposed to render them invisible? It had simply shredded their bodies from the inside out, leaving behind a filmy mist of blood. 

Those, too, were grand works, Atlas had thought. Their guarantee of eventual victory. Their future in the six galaxies. Some small part of Poppy, a withering and dying part that they had not used in a long time, disagreed. And wondered what credit amount could justify the oceans of blood they’d spilled. And tried to understand how this, out here, was “practicing medicine”. But even if they had spoken up, they’d have been shushed, sent back to work. Reminded that Pandora would be hard to win, but things would turn around soon, and Atlas would be more powerful than ever. 

But Pandora didn’t go well. And only got worse. The company turned to dust around the surgeons, but they weren’t capable of worrying about that. They were too busy replacing parts in their patients, or adding new parts entirely, or cutting parts out if they thought it might do something interesting. Besides, they’d rarely been “in the loop” about company activities; what would the point of that have been? In fact, none of them had a single inkling that something would change for them until their minder informed them that they had been sold. 

After the transfer of ownership to Hyperion was complete, any and all records pertaining to the Pain Surgeon program were burned. Rhys Strongfork, and the entire new management of Atlas, has no idea they exist. That is probably for the best; the thought would likely keep them all up at night. 

As they were forced onto a too-small and outdated ship to take them to their new home, that withered part of Poppy stirred. No anger; too much of a strain on atrophied muscles of emotions. Annoyance, maybe. Disappointment. An idle curiosity about this new CEO, this man called Jack. He’d only come to see the Surgeons once, and their minders had urged them to “look normal”. Normal? All 14 of them had exchanged looks and frowns and shrugs; maybe they could do that, if they had some time. 

They pulled their spines “in”, compressing them and closing the gaps that had been forced between their vertebrae. They only extended their necks to the length baseline humans could manage, not utilizing the extra inches they’d been lent. Limited the radius of their joints and their jaws. The minders had to remind them to blink every few seconds instead of once every ten minutes, and urged them to hold still as much as possible. That was when the surgeons realized what they hadn’t been told; their acquisition was probationary, and this new master might decide not to keep them. 

Jack kept his distance, and he didn’t hide his revulsion. The revulsion, however, had a voyeuristic bent to it, an air of horrified delight. “What did those Atlas shills do to you poor bastards?” he asked, eyeing Gwen as she stared blankly back at him. “Like,” he looked briefly over his shoulder at one of the pale, trembling minders. “Like are these things ZOMBIES or are they shitty test tubes babies or what? I mean--” He turned back and stepped down the line, now stopping at Poppy. “Am I high or do they all look like shit?” He stepped just a little closer, trying to look into Poppy’s eyes, and let out a delighted shriek as Poppy twisted their head at an impossible angle. 

A brief flare of rebellion. The first of many on the horizon. 

“Okay, okay, I’ve seen the reports,” Jack concluded, turning away. “Already dropped the cash, so what the hell? I’ve got a few projects I can toss them at, provided they aren’t going to break out and start eating my employees' brains.”

“They don’t eat brains,” a minder said weakly, posture a billboard of fear and worry; for the first time, it occurred to Poppy that these were not people who had lost a job at Atlas and taken a new one at Hyperion. These were, in fact, closer to prisoners of war.  

 Things with Atlas were bad. Things with Hyperion were worse. At least the Atlas facilities had been clean. At least they were allowed to sleep every day. At least they ate food. But Hyperion had them corralled on a research station on a distant, lonely moon, and every room was dimly lit and filthy. They were often on twenty-four shifts, research quotas and project deadlines several shades passed unrealistic. And food was expensive; only calorie paste for the things Handsome Jack didn’t like to look at. 

Much of their work was the same. Except for the Sirens. 

Jack’s daughter was confined to a chair at Hyperion headquarters, trapped by and shackled to machines. All they had to work with from her were three dimensional scans and biological info read-outs that were transferred to their computers. Once a month, they were allowed to call her, ask her questions, and request that she utilize her powers in different ways so they could monitor the live read-outs. 

Sometimes, late at night, Poppy tried to imagine a God they could pray to. Just so they could thank it for keeping Angel off their table. 

But that same God let the other Sirens end up there too, so the point was really moot.

In addition to Jack’s daughter, now and then, a stray Siren was captured, and brought to their facility. There, they were strapped down to the table, and the pain surgeons would dig in. Their CEO wanted them to figure out how the magic worked, where the marks came from, what powers were possible. Kept alive by machines that the surgeons had built themselves, these sirens--five in total, by Poppy’s recollection--were taken apart one piece at a time, examined inside and out, and subjected to experiments normal humans could not conceive of. 

First came Sunny. The redhead, with the thin, squeaky voice and the gap toothed smile and the big, grey eyes. Her Siren wings were glittering cascades, golden and silver and pearly white, flashing in the light with ever shifting patterns. PhaseSpeak was what they dubbed her powers; she could communicate with animals, with plants, with any sentient or living creature no matter how high the language barrier seemed. So they opened her throat and watched and scanned and prodded her vocal cords. After they shocked her with electrodes to compel her to speak despite the agony and the terror. 

Next they cracked open her skull and stuck receivers in her brain, stimulating the speech centers of her brain and watching the monitors flash their insights. They force fed her Eridium, not knowing or caring that it would leave her addicted and half-mad, to see if she could speak to objects. Or to see if her voice could do things besides convey information. Control those who heard it, perhaps. 

Sunny died of a massive, hemorrhagic stroke; blood filled those big grey eyes and dripped her thin nose to smear those gapped teeth. Poppy watched, for the very time, as a set of Siren marks faded from their bearers skin and zipped away to find a new host. That dying muscle of feeling flexed again. Sorrow. Not remorse. 

Remorse would come later. 

Next came the one who could conjure limbs from her back. She wasn’t like most Sirens, young and fearless. Like the Twins, she’d lived in hiding (and unlike the Twins, it was self imposed). An old woman by the time she came to their table, she died in a matter of days. The minders had scolded them, an edge of panic to their anger. And Jack had been furious. Called their station and ranted over the intercom, berating them for learning so little before the woman--Claudeen--died. That was not why Poppy felt sick and empty, though; another stir of feeling. A distant memory of their grandmother, who they had no thought about in years. As Claudeen had perished under their flashing blades, Poppy had briefly pictured Granny Mable there instead. 

Commandant Steele’s heir was found, and brought screaming and thrashing to them. Metal bent and twisted at her command, and she could reduce it to shards with a thought. Special steps needed to be taken to keep her from weaponizing the entire base. Her name they never learned. She would not tell them before she was sedated, and she never again awoke. When she died, heart giving out under the strain of the constant drug injections and exploratory surgeries, none of the surgeons could hide their growing unease. Poppy didn’t sleep well for months after that. The bodies were weighing heavier on everyone’s conscience; the blood was getting stickier on their hands.

The mind reader, in some ways, was the worst. With cool black skin and eyes that glittered like the Tahitian Pearls from Ancient Earth, she hissed hard truths to her torturers. “You are a person,” she said, over and over. “You are a person and I am a person and people should not do these things to each other. You are a person and I am a person and the people who hurt you--hurt you so you wouldn’t resist hurting me--are just people too. You can stop. You can always just stop.” Poppy wanted to. Was it fear that stopped them? Or was it just routine? What life existed beyond this? Where was the guarantee that another path was better? Either one, the mind reader died too, and took her difficult truths with her. 

But not even fear and routine were stronger than what came next. 

Because what came next was the newborn. 

Poppy did not like to think about the newborn. Or about what came next. As far as they were concerned (most days) their life began when they bought these rooms in New Voronezh. Nothing that came before that was important anymore. What was important was the work. Continuing the work without the influence of greed and apathy. 

-

Getting the information they needed out of “Typhon” was a chore. Maybe several. For every question Poppy asked, they needed to answer one. They kept them monosyllabic and vague as much as possible. Yes, your children are together and safe. No, they are not coming home. No, you cannot know where they are. No, I will not tell you what I have learned about Troy’s health. No, I will not tell you if Tyreen is ‘behaving’. There was some fatherly softness to be exploited, and Poppy could barter answers about things other than the Twins to get what they needed; If Typhon balked, Poppy was quick to remind him that this was for Troy. Who might, Poppy implied more than once, perished without it. 

But only one caught them by surprise. 

“What was that?” Poppy asked, squinting at the auto-dictated notes on their other screen. They’d heard Typhon’s question; they were stalling. 

“Why, are you, doing this?” Typhon ground out, balled fists braced on the shelf of the communicator. “Are they payin’ you? They ain’t great with money. Cuz they barely get what it is, so how in the heck are they acquiring your ‘services’?” 

Poppy snorted and swung their head back to face Typhon. Hunching was no longer comfortable, so they stretched and then sprawled backwards. That was partly strategy too; Typhon was still visibly disturbed by the way Poppy moved, and it set him off rhythm. “So, would you believe me if I said ‘the goodness of my heart’?” They asked. 

“Ha! No way. If you wanted to help them, you send them home, where they’ll be safe.” 

“And where Troy can go straight back to suffering day in and day out without any competent care. Hmm. I’ll think about it...So I thought about it, and no.” 

“Oh go fuck yourself!” Typhon exploded, and Poppy laughed bitterly. 

That’s kind of my only option. “So, I’m a damn good doctor,” they continued. “If you’re the best at something, aren’t you obligated to DO IT? Don’t you...owe something to everyone else?” Typhon was quiet for several seconds, and then began to explain their recollection of Troy’s allergy history. He’d spontaneously shed many, and developed others in their place, over the years he’d been confined to his birth planet. Poppy listened, and turned their own answer over in their head. Half-truth. They certainly owed something to the other people of the Six Galaxies. But it was more about settling a debt than an innate obligation.

As they did, and as they listened to the Twins’ father sprinkle justifications for his actions among relevant information, they briefly considered the man’s side of things. He’d imprisoned his children to keep them safe from those who coveted their powers. Not for the first time, Poppy pictured the Twins on their table, surrounded by the wake of vultures they had lived amongst. Pictured the things they would have done to those children, over and over, searching for the answer to the Siren question. 

But no. Their sins didn’t justify Typhon’s. They knew from experience that a life in a cage was not life at all, and anything was better than imprisonment. Fear and uncertainty and hardship: none of it outweighed the bliss of knowing you could walk outside whenever you liked and no one could tell you couldn’t. 

Besides, they were starting to doubt that the Hyperion station could’ve held Tyreen. Not if they were threatening her brother.

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Thirteen liveblog of The Mandalorian Season 2!  Let’s go!!!

AAAAAAAAA THIS IS THE EPISODE

Thirteen sure is that lucky/unlucky number...

Ok so caveat that I read an online article with a bunch of “leaks” about this ep and if true I’m gonna dislike a LOT of this ep lmaoooooo

Aight so THIS IS VERY DARK BAD FOR MY EYESIGHT

Guessing this is the Ahsoka planet?

Sounds like a warning bell, let’s hope it’s not another Alaskan bull worm/Krayt

Oh nope just shooting people

oh SHOOT THERE SHE IS

Daaaaaamn they didn’t take five seconds

Ok but why’s she fighting them

Dammit Star Wars let me see the ful Ahsoka makeup and outfit!!!  Turn on the lights!!!!  Let me IN

ALDSFLKJSK WAIT THAT MAKES AHSOKA THE KRAYT THE WARNING BELLS WERE FOR HER AHAHAHA

CHAOS BABE

ok but i love that she calls herself a Jedi

alksdjLKSDJFK WAIT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER MONTRAILS THEY SHRUNK

Ok fine the makeup looks p good

Aaaaaand the theme to make me Emotional

Lady she doesn’t need to learn anything from you she’s had too many teachers already

Lady you Vastly underestimate how willingly Ahsoka will kill YOUR ass

This ain’t her first siege and you ain’t Mandalore bub don’t try her

Yeppppp it’s called The Jedi

The leaks have been right so far let’s hope the rest aren’tttttt

Oho so it looks like this is a lava planet too?  Dang Ahsoka following family tradition

“HEY WHAT DID I TELL YOU” god Din is a DAD

AND BABY LISTENED TO HIIIIIIIIM HE’S SUCH A GOOD BABY YODITO DID YOU KNOW I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

this little shit seriously using the Force improperly again bruhhhh you def need SOMEONE to teach you control

Damn Ahsoka you live like this?  Needs more decorations

BABY I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY DARLING SON

MAYBE you should get him some ACTUAL TOYS huh Din?

Is there deadass anyone who’s not trying to steal Din’s armor?

Ok I adore his little side satchel for Yodito

Bruh since when is walking right in and immediately asking suspicious questions gonna do anything for you

Ooop he got caught by the Dai Li

Oh yay public torture fun!

Hmmm more Asian influence in this episode I see

“A Jedi plagues me” PFFF aka the motto of the prequels

OK SO HOW FUCKING MANY PEOPLE IN THIS GALAXY KNOW ABOUT THE JEDI/MANDO BEE AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT

Uhhhh that’s a big pointy stick lady

Ohhhhh beskar big pointy stick

Ooop we got conflict, Din’s heritage vs. Baby Yoda’s, what will he pick.....

DON’T QUESTION THE BABY DUDE

FOR FUCK’S SAKE DIN PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SON PROPERLY

Bruh she’s gonna jump you 

Her Gandalf cloak fits right in with the landscape

For fuck’s sake pleASE STOP JUST RANDOMLY PUTTING DOWN AND IGNORING YOUR SON

Yeppppp and here comes the sneak attack

draMATIC ASS ROBE DROP LIKE HER LINEAGE BEFORE HER

pleasecallhimaBabyYodaAhsokaPLEASE

ALKSDFJSDLKFK I’D DIE FOR HIM LOOK HOW CUTE

OK WHAT?  WE DEADASS MISSED HER FIRST REACTION TO HIM????????

FUCKING COWARDS

Lol staring contest at your old frog grandpa but babified, must be weird

Awwww she still likes kids

Sidenote that yeah they really did just fucking shrink her montrails AND lekku she looks like she did at 14 again

NO

NO

NONONONONONO

THAT’S DEADASS THE WORST NAME YOU COULD HAVE COME UP WITH Y A L L

I am NOT calling him that.  Y’all can’t make me

OK BUT LITERALLY NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE

HOW WAS HE TAKEN?

It surrounds us binds us blah blah blah

UH YEAH BUT LUKE’S EXISTS NOW, RIGHT?  COME ON, AHSOKA

Ahsoka your idea of testing is making blind teenagers look for crystals while you swing a lightsaber at their face maybe not yet

Every time they call him Gr*gu it makes me die a little more inside

OK HE LITTLE DAD HEAD QUIRK I LOVE THAT

NO DON’T MAKE HIM CALL HIM THAT

Ok also but I would die for leetle baby’s grunting noises

OMG THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX, HIS TOY HE LIKES

HE’S SO PROUD OF HIS SON I’M GONNA CRYYYYY ;_;

Ahsoka he is a baby tho?  Like uhhhhhh this ain’t the same as Anakin

Uh, Din, Ahsoka doesn’t have to worry about that kinda shit, she’s faced waaaaaay worse

Ok so this Elspeth is another ex-Imp

Ok FINE this is gonna be a cool-ass teamup

Ahsoka u drama queen

DRAMA QUEEN AND YOUR DRAMATIC ENTRANCES

Ahhhh I see she’s the flashy Jedi distraction while Din frees the prisoners

Ok but where is Yodito during this

MORGAN’S master?  So Gideon, right?  Or does Ahsoka know Palps is back

Awwww that first man was gonna help the prisoners too!  He IS brave!!!!

LOTH KITTYYYYY!

Oooop we having an old western shootout?

DRAMATIC ROBE DROP PART 2

Oh fuck no we aren’t recanonizing beskar being lightsaber-proof, are we?

Dammit I thought that was how we ended up with the Darksaber in the first place!  Because Lucas did NOT want to do that-- for fuck’s sake of course they are

This boi really tried that fake-ass negotiation, he should know better

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

T H R A W N

REALLY?

you BETTER STILL BE LOOKING FOR EZRA.  THAT BETTER BE WHY.  I’M NOT EVEN FUCKING JOKING.

Oh yay they saved the Earth Kingdom

OH NO THE TRACKER

OH NO HE LEFT THE BABY WITH THE SHIP

THE TRACKER FROM LAST EPISODE OH NO

NONONONONONONOOOOOOO

I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT YET BUT I KNOW THE IMPS TOOK HIM

DIN DJARIN YOU FUCKING JACKASS THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T JUST LEAVE YOUR FUCKING SON AFUCKING-LONE-- oh ok he’s fine nvm lol

WAIT BUT THE TRACKER’S STILL THERE????

The Imps are DEF gonna find him soon this is the 6th ep of the season and there’s only 2 more

THANK YOU AHSOKA TELL HIM THAT IS HIS SON

Ok I’ll say it again Din Djarin you fucking dumbass

Ohhhh we recanonizing Tython now

LADY LUKE IS REBUILDING.  I GET THEY CAN’T EXACTLY BRING IN YOUNG MARK HAMILL BUT FOR FUCK’S SAKE AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE MY BOY LUKE THANKS

Aaaaaand scene.

OK BUT THESE BITCHES CAN NOT JUST ACKNOWLEDGE FUCKING THRAWN AND NOT EZRA.  DAVE FILONI YOU CREATED HIM.  YOUR OWN CHILD.  YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE EZRA LIKE THIS FOR FUCK’S SAAAAAAKE

Ok so deadass everything in the leaked article was true and I’m gahhhhh over a Lot of things

Hmph

[valorblooded]

He hated this part.

The dark room, a different location every time, maybe a state over, or under the noses of those they pay to keep quiet. The only constant being the single white light beaming against the head of a mole, a rat, a severely stupid individual who’s conscious either caught up to him or a piece of cheese just too tempting made him squeal.

Drix was talking, his usually audacious tone replaced with the one he only reserves for scum of the earth. Connor can’t recognize him when he’s like this.

“How many times do we have to go over this?” An audible punch bounced off the thick concrete walls. They had left this one in this hole for three days now. No food, no water, or light. 

Another punch that was on the heels of a crunching sound. Connor shuddered at the sound. A nose broken, it matched the guy’s fingers. Crooked and broken.

“Who put you up against us?” Roughly, Drix grabbed the man’s hair forcing his head back enough to threaten his neck to snap.

“--I-I told--”

“’I-I-I--” He mocked mercilessly, “You’ve have gave us absolutely nothing you fucking moron.” Drix spat out, releasing his grip to shove the man to his back, his head crashing into the floor. A miserable groan of pain filtered from his red stained lips as one of their men picked and sat the poor bastard back up.

“I-- I don’t know anything else-- I promise I--”

Drix cut him off with a sharp look toward Connor. It wasn’t time for that just yet. Connor pulled a few photos from his breast pocket and threw them into the light. The man in the chair-- if possible-- became even more pale. Any sort of fight drained out of him as he dragged his eyes across the images of him talking to another little player in their game.

Marcus Revara. A lowlife that’s been stirring up nothing but trouble and making the police even antsier than usual. He’s a green horn, just came into the business and it looks like he has affected one of their own.

“Danial.” Connor spoke for the first time since the interrogation, stepping further into the light. He’s dressed in his usual attire, black bodysuit, tucked into a black jacket and dark jeans, his features hidden in his helmet, his gun tight in his off hand. He cocked it, arming. “What did you tell him?”

Danial slowly looked up, almost peering through the black helmet and its tinted window. He was searching for some mercy that was either in the form of a bullet between the eyes or-- Connor couldn’t make it out.

“He--” He spoke softer, his body going slack in his binds that rubbed his limbs raw. “Revara threaten to put my little girl’s head in a box...”

“What did you tell him you son of a bitch!” Drix reared his fist back and Danial closed his eyes bracing for a hit that landed. Connor gripped his arm, yanking him out of the light altogether.

“Sit back, I’ll handle it from here.” Connor could tell there must’ve been a bit of blood with how hard he knew his brother had to bite his tongue. The hesitation only lasted long enough for him to turn around and order the door open.

“Fine.” The door shut with his steps retreating on the other side.

The silence dragged for a minute. Danial spoke first.

“I-- I only told him where our... next major shipment locations were... nothing more.”

“And how do you expect to walk out of that chair, back to your ‘little girl’?”

Danial smiled, a broken and bloody mess, “Not very well, he broke my leg.”

“Good point.” He pulled his gun and shot him in Danial in his less beat up leg. He dropped the gun into the hands of another man who took it and left the room.

Danial full body flinched forward, screaming in pain.

“Your punishment for snitching. You should’ve told us sooner. We’re moving you and your family to Canada.” Connor walked to the door, before gesturing over his shoulder, “Patch him up and get his family ready.”

Once the door closed, it was eerily quiet. Nearly suffocating. He wanted to yank the damn helmet off but self control and his brother piercing eyes stopped the motion. Connor walked passed him, failing to ignore Drix’s foot steps right behind him.

“I’m getting real tired of having to do your job for you--”

“You can stop whenever you want to--” His shoulder was yanked hard, nearly tripping him. 

“That’s my fucking line.” He was much closer, buzzing with anger and-- fear. “How fucking long are we going to be doing this? How much longer do we--”

“It was never supposed to be a ‘we’, Drix.” He spat out in a hushed tone, feeling and being literally cornered. “You inserted yourself in some misguided--”

The words never finished coming. Drix punched him in his gut, the wind immediately leaving his lungs. One of the men further down the hall perked at the sudden movement, most of it hidden behind dim buzzing lights. Drix held his hand up to him as he stared at Connor, “Shut the fuck up and get to the goddamn car.”

This conversation will never be over, he thought bitterly as he straightened up and pushed pass Drix. There were much more important things to focus on now, and he’ll be damned if he let Drix release any worms of doubt in his mind.

[billhaderlovebot]

willy mclean hcs

ah yes. it is time for another hannah and molly headcanon extravaganza. we've been thirsty for this hoe all damn week. @gazebros

you think you know willy the first time you meet him properly.

in fact, you do know him.

you've seen him around, verbally abusing pool-goers and smoking pot on his breaks.

you've never crossed paths other than the one time you asked him where the toilets were and he blew smoke in your face.

but the first time you meet him properly it's kinda an accident, in that you weren't looking for company.

you'd just broken up with your extremely long term boyfriend that week.

u have a child together.

it wasn't a toxic relationship and it didn't end on bad terms, and you loved each other very very much, but you both agreed that you'd grown apart and you'd be better as two seperate people.

plus, you needed to keep it cool between the two of you for the sake of your son.

nonetheless, it was a bummer.

you were the only one left at the pool, and it had long since closed. you'd been sat on the side, watching the ripples and ignoring how cold and dark it was getting. the only source of light came from the LED's on the bottom of the pool.

and willy came out of the weird room thingy he sits in while people are swimming.

"we're closed, man."

probably the biggest joint you've seen since college in his hand.

"yeah. sorry. lemme get in on that, though."

you reach up to take the joint from him and he shrugs and hands it to you.

"you good?"

"just broke up with this guy, um, we've been together since... i don't know, fuckin, forever. im sad, i guess. he's staying with his mom."

"oh, worm. i can get my bong."

and you don't know why you find yourself telling this random guy everything.

but you talk and smoke for hours.

willy is like a breath of fresh air.

you can't remember the last time you'd laughed until your ribs hurt.

and you've told each other like

everything there is to know about everything

and in this moment you actually feel like nobody else knows you better in the entire world

even though you've only been talking for like four hours.

by the end of the night you're basically sat in his lap.

you're so close that your lips almost touch when you light another joint and pass it between you.

and you hear his breath hitch

and his eyes are dark.

"your ex didn't give you syphilis or anything, did he?"

"no. why?"

and then suddenly his lips are on yours and he's holding your face in his hands.

and all you can feel is him

and its Perfect.

and he's warm and soft and you fist your hands into the front of his stupid poncho

and you have to go back to your apartment to fuck because he doesn't have one oops.

and you get there and you apologise for the mess because you've not been in a good place lately.

"dude i live in a fucking pool don't even worry."

thus begins Friends With Benefits.

the best sex you've literally Ever had in your life along with the best weed and the best 4am talks and a guy who talks to you like you're a normal fucking person for Once.

Willy McLean E*ts P*ssy.

you pull his hair sometimes

nothing extreme jus a light tug yknow

but it drives him Insane

he Loves It.

he doesn't dirty talk a lot but he's very vocal. like he's not one of those guys where it feels like you're fucking an ice sculpture. he actually like makes noise.

and tells you what he wants.

so it's just u guys hanging out and fucking for like a long time. and it's good. it's great.

no commitment or anything it's pretty chill.

you go off the radar a few times a week to spend time with your son, who's currently living with his father until you get your life in order.

one night, after sex (it was during the shining bc that movie is Long so y'all jus ignored it n Got On With Things) willy is watching you sleep.

he's watching you exist.

he just watches you for the longest time.

his heart melts when you subconsciously shuffle closer to him and bury your face in the crook of his neck.

and he realises that the feelings he has for you run deeper than he thought they did.

he realises that he might maybe a little bit love you.

maybe.

you're so strong and you would do anything to protect your kid and you're not afraid of looking stupid and you make him laugh like nobody has ever made him laugh.

also the sex? 😔👌

he thinks you're probably the most wonderful human being in the whole world.

you didn't plan on introducing willy to your son.

because you didn't think it would ever be anything serious and therefore not have an impact on his life.

but it had to happen at some point.

and one day he gets in your car and there's this lil curly haired toddler in the back in this lil car seat.

"uhh. we have to go sign him up for preschool."

you'd forgotten it was almost august.

willy is really nervous because he's sure he smells of pot and he doesn't really know what to do around kids.

but elias is surprisingly quiet and he giggles along to whatever dumb shit you and willy are talking about in the front seat even though he has no idea what you're saying.

willy falls even harder for you when he watches you ruffle elias' hair and kiss his head.

and elias really likes willy's poncho.

and when you get to the school and the secretary starts gushing about what a cute couple you and willy are

willy Loses His Mind

and he's about say something

but you're like "thankyou so much!🥰" and take his hand and the paperwork she gives you and drag him into the waiting room.

"wh-"

"we are a cute couple."

he pretends not to notice when you don't let go of his hand for the rest of the day.

because you fuck and have been fucking for a while but this is Soft.

and you pretend not to lose your shit when willy picks up elias and you look at them both together, giggling like idiots and realise that they're all you need.

a couple months later, when the pool closes for the winter months, you realise you haven't seen him in a couple days.

which is worrying, since he lives at the pool um-

and so you go there

n he's just

jus sittin.

"hey, babe."

"hey, where have you been?"

"just around. come sit."

and for a minute it's normal. you're talking and laughing so hard that your sides split and kissing (ft inappropriate touching)

and it gets a lil cold and he puts his obnoxious knitted poncho over you.

and he looks at you for a bit.

and you barely hear it when he whispers

"i think im in love with you."

and oh

oh fuck.

of course.

and you love him the fuck BACK

but he takes your stunned silence as rejection, mumbles some garbled apology and stands up to leave.

you run right after him, though.

it's something straight out of a romance movie, he thinks, when you spin him around by his arm and pull him down to your lips by his collar.

"i love you too. so fucking much, will."

that night you invite him to stay over.

"isn't elias staying with you right now?"

"yeah. he misses you. he keeps asking about the poncho man idk"

when he wakes up the next day after watching two and a half hours of paw patrol with your son (he kept him entertained, seeing how exhausted you were, and allowed you to nap.) you're not there.

he heads into the kitchen where you've sat elias down with a bowl of cereal and you're dancing around to whatever's playing on the radio.

and he sees a box of his stuff next to the couch. everything he owns. you must've gotten it from the pool while he was asleep.

"what's going on, baby?"

"shit, yeah, um, you're moving in."

his heart explodes

and he's trying so hard not to cry

at the concept of having a home

and with you, nonetheless.

he's sure he's never been so in love.

but he cries anyway, when your back is turned, when he thinks you don't know.

he Loves You.

[stipethom]

I wrote some Cablepool fics some months ago but proofreading is such a bitch, so they were incomplete for now. I’m just gonna post some parts of it and hopefully there are more Cablepool people who loves mpreg as I do.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In summary, Mpreg theme uses pregnancy to describe how women and gender/sex minorities are impregnated with the unspeakable powers of patriarchy. Pregnancy is not just a biological phenomenon; it symbolizes embodied experiences, where women’s body is changed and exploited as it bear the burden of child labor. And by forcing such changes upon male body, it declares that any sex and gender that is seen less than a “man” can thus be a “woman”, and that whoever they are their struggles and pains are similar to that of women’s in this world.

In mpreg fics, there’ll be tears, fight, divorce, and broken hearts. It’s fan-favorite melodrama. It’s barnyard humor. It’s self-service to the writer’s own kink.

It is all of these. Or, it’s none of these.

-

They put all kinds of wires to link Wade with medical equipments. X-rays him, scans him, takes some blood from him. They declares that what’s inside Wade is not a parasite. Not another tumor nor a clog. It is, as the tag suggests, a fetus.

Some other X-students gathers as soon as the word is out: the Deadly mouthy ‘pool’s pregnant. The next session, Wade is unhappy with the amount of audience in the supposed waiting room, looking expectedly at him. From hindsight, it’s better they were there at the time, to spare Wade the horrors of explanation.

Unplanned male pregnancy should have been a comic relief since it’s Deadpool. But when the results indicate that it belongs to a certain Nathan Summers, who recently died, it is no longer a joke.

Cyclops, as his role in any other Cablepool fics, has to be the last one to know it. He learns of the identity of his future grandchild and immediately decides to rushe back to the mansion to confront whatever nightmare awaits him. He briefly talks to Hank, in order to prepare himself before talking to Wade. Eventually, a consultation team that comprises of Cyclops and Beast visits Wade’s at his apartment, who just comes back with discounted pregnancy tests from CVS.

“We must talk about your condition, Wade.” Scott says solemnly.

“Sorry, Grandpaclops, will remember to use protection next time. Guess I should never underestimate dicks from the future.”

Scott clenches his teeth. His expression is hidden under his ruby optics, but Wade can see the tiny creases around his mouth, and he gets the feeling that Scott is anxious. Ans so, so very tired. Hank clears his throat and starts talking about his discoveries. Half of his talk is explaining his daring theory of why life form can be conceived inside a male’s body, which Wade doesn’t listen to. The other half is some warmings on what a pregnant man should not do. Given Wade’s profession and personality, Hank makes 100% sure that Wade listens to him. Scott seems to be holding breath as the other mutant talks with a professional calmness.

The talk ends with “We still don’t know exactly how it happened, but It’s going to be a big responsibility—your responsibility.”

Scott tries again. He keeps his voice strategically even, a little raspy than usual, as if he practiced this conversation in front of a mirror too many times.

“It’s yours, as much as it’s Nathan’s. It’s up to you to ... keep it.”

“Or you can move into the X-mansion—”Hank stops promptly when Wade starts laughing.

“So your guys are what, showing parental support for the guy your son never actually married, and you never even doubt it’s a parasite?”

“We ruled out that possibility.” Hank says, “you know, you don’t have to do this.” He pauses briefly, making sure every sentence is carefully worded. “After what happened, you—in fact, nobody should do this alone. It’s unfair that you have to deal with it on your own.”

Great, now they think of Wade as some mourning ex-lover of Nate’s. He has to find something witty to say, or he’ll just embarrasses himself in front of these two good-intentioned, somewhat guilty-looking X-men. There’s a sorry somewhere that he can reads directly from the thin air, sorry we are so sorry for pushing you away, we are sorry we didn’t accept you—and ignored your feelings— now we are here to make it up for you. No, this ain’t right. They don’t know about him and Nate. All they see is this, which makes them assume all kinds of things about them, about Wade, that Wade doesn’t even want to think about.

He decides to take advantage of their out-of-no-where-guilt because it is better than pity, “OK, wait, is this the part where we hug and cry on each other’s shoulders? I have a feeling there’s always a but. Besides, Hank, you just violated the confidentiality agreement without my consent!”

“I’m truly sorry, it’s an unprecedented situation.” Hank tries not to look shameful. “And, no, no buts. All we’re offering is a place to rest before the, that is, if you want to keep it, It’s very important when it comes to—“

“Nathan’s spawn.” Wade helps him finish the sentence. “That’s why you X-men fucking care. “

Cyclops doesn’t say a word, but he thinks so loud, he is practically radiating sadness and anger, and worst of all, the anger is not even directed at Wade.

Wade snaps.

“Tell you what, I’m gonna fucking keep this little shit till it’s got eyes and fingers and then I’ll fucking abort it! I’ll put it in a filthy jar and sell it to Mister Sinister, and it will be none of your fucking business!”

—

Of course Wade didn’t abort it. And he did move into the X-mansion.

Everyone seems worried. After all, X-men are worried all the time—but they also look slightly relieved. If Wade ignores the eyes they are giving him, the whispers they exchange when they think he is not looking, he almost feels nothing has changed at all.

The big question, after the several years after Nate died, still hangs in the air. Every time someone looks at Wade, there’s a why in their eyes. A mutant like Nate, who is supposed to be a man of proper taste and good integrity, the reasons that he chose to be with Wade is unthinkable.

Any sane human would tell Nate what he did is ridiculous. Like the voice in the back of Wade’s mind. It tells Wade all the time that he cannot possibly believe that him and Nate could last any longer—or long enough to have any consequences.

Being pregnant is not the consequences. It’s the last one of the bad decisions he’s made after all the other ones. He knows the voice is right, and his life sucks mostly because he doesn’t listen to it. This time, he feels a certain remorse satisfaction in disobeying the remaining sense of reason in his head.

Keeping the baby to prove a point is as desperate as it’s poorly intended.

He knows how fucked-up this is.

—

In hindsight, it’s fucking creepy that Wade, Copycat, and Domino all slept with Nate.

Here she is, gonna pop open that can of worms.

Domino has to come to him at his most inconvenience. She knocks three times on the door, each time more curt and determined. She will probably shoot a hole in the wall to make a new door if he doesn’t let her in.

Wade opens the door, grimaces at the way she look at him and meet his eyes. He is a good few inches taller than Dom, but he never feels big in front of her.

She brings in an air of feline elegance and the fresh scent of hair shampoo. It’s endearing for her to allow people to see her like this, yet not entirely unguarded. He catches the innuendo of a more secret, private conversation.

Her eyes touch him lightly, hair flares with the effortless chic style many would be jealous of. There are a hundred things Wade lacks that she owns.

The night is getting dark and the wind is getting wild, he probably should close the window before the storm.

Dom is less of a coward than him, who could barely come up to people and tell them the truth. That he got himself into this long before he understood the true meaning of having someone and then losing them.

She is pretty and deadly as always, not jadded by battles and gunfire. She looks at him with a sadness of someone who think they have the pieces of a puzzle that Wade misses. Or at least they think they know.

“Why do you keep him, the baby—.” She leans against the wall, arms crossed. “He’s not going to be Nate. Nate is not here anymore.“

“Wow, wow, lady, now you’re just projecting too hard.”

“Wade, look. It took me a hell lot of drinking to accept that he’s really gone this time.” She keeps her voice steady and manages to be soft at the same time. “I hear you talk to him like, I don’t know. I don’t think I’m not projecting.”

“Just so you know, I talk to my tummy all the time. Totally healthy habit. Been like this since I’m in my mom’s womb.”

“You’ve been talking to him and you sounded like—never mind.” Now she is just being weird. Wade feels offended that someone dare to outweird him without his royal permission. “The baby—you are drowning him with things he’s not part of.”

“Drowning would be a damn boring way to die.” He comments. “In fact, I’m whispering murder thoughts to him so he can grow up into a killing machine. A cyborg one. Just like his dad.”

“Wade, I’m not trying to take anything from you.”

“Oh sure, you’re here to remind me to invite you for the baby shower, which I am seriously going to reconsider with the guest list.”

A strip of dark hair falls on her cheek as she hesitates.

“You know why I’m here.”

Honestly, Wade’s fed up with this. He didn’t respond, instead, he peels off his mask, challenges her to look directly into his eyes.

She looks flustered, but her thin shoulders are as still as granite. This close, Wade can see how her breast heaves under her loosely-fit shirt. It fucking hurts when he rips through her facade and finds something a lot like the reflection of his own pains. They both had Nate in the past, and now that Nate is the past, they are weirdly equal. They had different Nates, but Wade wants all the Nates.

The voice in his head is so loud that he can barely think his own thoughts. Is that why he came to her after Wade left Providence, for her is smart enough to ask for only what she deserves?

Does she come here to pity Wade, or is she seeking compassion from Wade? He feels an old, dull bitterness creeping up his spine.

Domino backs off a little, “I never liked you.” She says. They both know it, so it’s not really a confess. Something is blown in to the window, making a cracking sound. Both of them shiver. “I couldn’t believe it was you, of all people. “Oh, so she did care. She was not as nonchalant as she pretends to be. “But now you are-you are not just yourself-I don’t want to fight you anymore.”

It stings.

“Does that mean I can finally make your face my new bathroom tiles? Because I love baby poo on black and white.” He quirks a smile. “Oh, And by the way, I reject your nanny application. Bring your broom next time.”

“You hate me for a dead man.” She says dryly, “what does that make you...”

Her voice hitches.

“What does that make us. If we are still loyal to him.”

The wind is loud, and others must be awakened by the noises by now. If wind could talk, it must be full of broken sentences, murmuring and fleeing from the untrimmed trees, circulating in the flying dirt and the waving foliage. Some sleepless mutant girls on the second floor mutters in an annoyed voice.

Dom reaches out to him. Her arms are pale but firm. They are suddenly within the distance of a kiss. He feels his cracked lips nearly brushes hers like a breath.

She jumps back, hitting the nearest surface to her face. The window panes creak from the shockwave, sending the whole room whirls. For a moment they were close enough to dig out each other’s heart. The framed painting falls to the ground in broken pieces behind them. It is relatively intact until Neena steps on it.

“A hard loser, aren’t you.” Wade breathes.

Neena just smiles.

“It’s just you who can’t let go.”

She stubbles on the cracked frame before storming into the bathroom. Wade hears the hot water pours out of the faucet and makes maps of mist on the hanging mirror. Her reflection from the mirror shifts, and from Wade’s angle, he can see her tears.

A small sob sound leaks out of her beautiful mouth. Wade feels envious yet again. He doesn’t understand why it changes how Dom sees him, as if sharing pain with him would be some comfort for both of them. But it doesn’t, he wants to scream, and it shouldn’t. He hears other mutant kids are giggling through the wind, and he is so, so envious of them.

Before he closes his eyes, he feels a light patting on his shoulders, and then all the light runs out with the slapping of the door.

He knows this is fucked-up.

“Nate,“ he murmurs, “If you don’t plan yo come back, I don’t think I can survive this—your too-young-too-be-dad dad, your ex-girlfriend, and your very possessive and angry daughter who refuses to meet me yet—I now understand why you want to elope with me into the future. I’ll forgive you for never asking me to actually run with you, but I know you always wanted to.“

“It’s fucking worse when people try to care. They don’t know you. They don’t know how fucked up you are. All they want is to keep a memoir, and I’m their freaking memoir. What did we have, sweetheart, did we ever agree on anything, huh? Did you even think about what it would be like for us to be together long enough to have consequences?”

“You see, Nate, I’m the one living with the consequences now. Except that you’re not here.”

[centipedall]

The Milkman Cometh

“Sorry baby, did I wake you up?”

“Hmm? No, I woke up a second ago. I had this nightmare… I can’t remember what it was about.”

“Me too. And they say marriage gets boring.” I shot her an invisible smile in the dark.

She got out of bed and said, “Well, I gotta get ready for work. Remember, milkman comes at twelve.”

My blood ran cold. “When did we get a milkman?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“I mean, I’m sure we have one but-”

“But you don’t remember when we got one. Yeah… same here.” She sounded shaken.

“Well, whatever. Gotta hit the daily grind, right? I’ll go see if Fee’s up yet. She’s taking Joey to school today, right?”

“Yep. Thank god she can drive now.”

“No thanks to you.” I winked and gave her a quick hug.

“Which one of us is the hot dog cart salesman?” she asked.

I chuckled and let go, “Cold.”

“Like your hot dogs, dad.” Fiona said from behind us.

“I see you got up especially early today. Is it, like, anti-Father’s Day or something?” There was an uncomfortable silence. “Y’know, where you insult and belittle-”

“We got it dad. Geez, you’re so lame.” She smiled and left the room.

“You’re driving Danny to school today, not Uncle Greg!” My wife called as she left the room.

There was a moan of frustration and I finished getting dressed. I walked down the stairs and went straight to the kitchen. My wife had beaten me there, unfortunately. She had the pantry door open and was rummaging around in there.

“Hey honey? Where’s the food?”

“Whaddaya mean? Shouldn’t it be in the pantry?” I checked with her, and sure enough it was empty. Well, except for some canned milk Greg had bought. Jackass. “Probably one of Greg’s pranks. I’ll see if he put them in the fridge.” I said.

I almost vomited when I opened up the fridge. There was only cheese, yogurt, butter, and milk. And all of it was spoiled. Jesus Christ, I could practically taste it. Like a tsunami of awful that wormed its way into your mouth. Good God, it felt like I was the one rotting.

I backpedaled away from the biohazard, into the other room and onto my favorite comfy chair. “Where are my hot dogs?” I whimpered.

“Oh my God- honey? You alright? Listen, it’s- fuck me it’s already eight? I gotta go. Can you deal with this today? Good God, the client’s gonna be pissed.” She started running towards the door.

“What the hell? Hey, Harry? Can you give me a hand? The door’s not opening.”

I jogged over to her, and sure enough, the door wouldn’t budge. It was like the damn thing was welded in there. I went over to the back and- no dice. If only we had windows, we could- why don’t we have windows?

“Hey honey? I’m gonna go get Greg. See if he’s-” The basement door was wedged shut, just like the others.

“Mom, Dad? I can’t open Danny’s door. I think he locked himself in again!” Fiona called from upstairs. I saw her legs as she started walking down the stairs. “Aw geez, it smells like bad milk down there? Milk… hey, did I mention my weird dream last night?”

Okay, what the fuck is going on?

“Wait, it’s nine already? Shit I’m late for school!” Fiona started rushing down, pinching her nose as she entered the awful ground floor.

“Language, young lady! And the doors don’t work.” She sighed. “Goddamnit, I can’t lose this promotion...” My wife muttered.

“What is it with you and this job? Why are you always chasing promotions? Our son is missing! Your shitty brother is missing!” I yelled at her. “Is it really more important than them?”

She wheeled on me, spitting venom. “You and I both know the only reason we live in this house is because of me. How much money does a hot dog salesman make, again? Is it less than a lawyer?”

“Not funny. When we got married, we said we wouldn’t have this conversation. It is my fucking dream, and it makes me happy. Why can’t you be happy with this? With us?”

“Goddamnit Harry, you know I love you guys! And that’s more than you can say! What about Greg, huh? I know you hate him.”

“Guy’s a slacker, Louise! He farts around in our house all day, pulling his stupid little pranks and costing us money. He’s rubbing off on Danny! Have you seen? The kid’s a wild child!”

“He’s only acting out because you are a shitty dad-”

“What the fuck did you just say? What the fuck did you just say?” I screamed.

“You don’t care about him! I get it, he’s not your biological kid! But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love him!”

“Shut the fuck up. I love Danny so much it hurts and you know it. Stop trying to hurt me. Just- just stop.” I sat back down on my chair. “I’m so hungry. I’m so tired.”

“I- me too. This is just such a bad situation I- I’m sorry, honey.”

“I’m sorry too. Do- do you think this has something to do with that dream?”

“I don’t know. God, I hope it doesn’t. I don’t remember much but-”

“Yeah.” I shivered. “Yeah.”

“Hey guys? Is the clock messed up? Because it says it’s ten o’clock already. And nine was like, five minutes ago.” Fiona said.

“I think we have two hours left.” I said. “Your mom said the ‘milkman comes at twelve’ this morning right after we woke up.”

“And what happens then?” Fiona said.

“You remember the dream?” Louise said.

“Only the feel of it. It was bad.”

A silence fell over the room.

“So what do we do now?” I asked.

“Can we break the door open? If we grab that old lamp in Fee’s room, I bet we can bash the back door down.”

“Aw man. I love that thing, I don’t want it to break.”

“Do you want the milkman to come? Because I don’t think we can get out any other way.” Louise said. Fiona nodded hesitantly.

In a flash, all three of us grabbed the heavy lamp and, with a great deal of pivoting, managed to squeeze it down the stairs. We lugged it over to the back door, and began swinging.

“On three!” My wife yelled. “One! Two! Three!”

The thing slammed against the door and there was a sharp crack. The door split right down the middle. A stench drifted out of the crack. More rotten milk. Oh my God. I would’ve barfed if I had anything in my stomach. As a family, we retreated into the living room.

I glanced at the clock. It was eleven. I sank down into the chair like my entire body was weighted. I was so tired. God, I was exhausted. And hungry.

“So what now?” Fiona asked.

“I don’t know. I- there’s nothing we can do.” Louise said.

I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. A sitcom was on. The theme song played. It was about a family of five. A mom, a dad, a daughter, a son, and an uncle. The dad was dumb, but big-hearted. The mom was smart, but long-suffering. The daughter was a classic teen with too much sense. The son was a wild child. The uncle was the comic relief, a slacker with a love of pranks. I almost threw up.

They laughed and japed. The uncle had collaborated with the son. They had swapped the food in the refrigerator and the pantry and locked all the doors. The other three members of the family ran around like headless chickens. The mom made a joke about how she made all the money. The dad made a joke about how she didn’t love anyone. The mom made a joke about a milkman, and how the kid wasn’t his. I almost threw up.

The family decided that leaving wasn’t worth all the stress. They all sat together and watched TV, like they did at the end of every episode. There was a knock on the door, in the sitcom and in real life. Everyone, TV and real, threw up pure spoiled milk all at once.

I stood up. I walked over to the door. I opened it. The smell almost killed me. There was something out there. A massive, hulking thing. A humanoid, almost, covered in dry cracks and wet holes constantly leaking spoiled milk. The milk flowed both up into the sky and down onto the infinite white plains outside my house. It has no eyes, mouth, or ears, just wet holes that spurted milk like a ship full of leaks. It did have a tiny little paper hat though, perched askew on its head. Below that was a thick, foot long, flopping tongue that sprouted out of the mouthless face. The nostrils were massive too, leaking milk like snot. Jesus, the stuff was chunky. And hairy. I looked down. It had long arms with elbows that reached to its knees so that it could touch the ground standing up. Its hands were huge with no fingernails, just skin with wet holes at the tip of each finger. It had a massive penis, swinging like a pendulum. Spoiled milk leaked. And leaked. And leaked. I was up to my knees in the stuff.

It looked at me with those wet holes, and the tongue flopped wordlessly. I still knew what it was saying. The same thing as in my dream.

Lait, ici.

Fiona, Louise, and I replied.

L’epoux, il est dans la maison.

It screamed. We screamed back.

It nodded to us and left. The milk continued to flow. It sank into my throat. Into my lungs. My nostrils filled with clumps. I drowned in vomit and spoiled milk.

Not the worst way it could’ve gone.

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

(1/3) Hear me out (Tenko and Hero!GF) imagine this, Kotaro force Tenko to breakup with you by telling him he’ll ruin your reputation. Because your reputation shouldn’t be tinted because of his father, Tenko did. You’re is left heart broken and sobbing without a proper reason. Tenko fell into depression, which mean Kotaro can manipulate Tenko into doing what he wants: marry a girl from a well off family/non-hero. Tenko did. He doesn’t love that girl. But he did to keep his father happy. - 🌹

i am an absolute RAT for neglecting these beautiful asks for so long, especially considering this is my favorite au!! i’m sorry anon, i had this written a while ago and had no energy to finish it until now ;-; 

- there were many clever tactics kotarou thought of to break this relationship apart. he could have told tenko that his villainous quirk will only cast judgement upon you simply by association, or perhaps you had some secret that you did not want the world to know. either way, kotarou stops at nothing to convince tenko to break up with you, because in his mind, he believes he is doing this with tenko’s best interests at heart. this, to him, is not pettiness. this is a father trying to protect his son. - no signs indicated that your relationship would ever come to an end. if anything, you were both certain that you would marry each other soon, because you were madly in love. so when tenko breaks it off with you, you are left blind sighted and completely devastated. you hadn’t even imagined a life without him since you first started dating. and likewise, this was the hardest thing tenko has ever had to do. seeing you cry made him sick with guilt, but he only wanted to protect you from his father. this was a necessary evil. no matter how much you begged him to reconsider, tenko was convinced that you would be happier without him in your life, if only so that kotarou would not bother you. - you both fall into a deep depression after the breakup. tenko was always a bit withdrawn, but he had warmed up considerably when you entered his life. now, he was worse than ever, neglecting his health and personal life and not giving a damn about it. kotarou expected this, so he let his son grieve for some time. but when he notices that tenko isn’t getting any better, he takes matters into his own hands to help him forget about you. resigned to a life without you, tenko agrees to meet the girl kotarou wanted to set him up with. he may as well — they would all be subpar compared to you, so he may as well get it over with.

-  the young woman was born into a wealthy family and reaped the benefits of her heritage tenfold. she is vivacious and larger than life, older than tomura and upholds some of kotarou’s ignorant ideas, and is the perfect trust fund kid who has grandiose visions for useless ideas and far too much money to funnel into her projects. but it keeps her busy, and she is fairly nice to his family, so tenko goes with it. the hardest moments are when he starts to actually enjoy her presence, because his mind would immediately think about you. but those moments come as quick as they go. this woman always found some way to grate his nerves at least a little. -  while tenko struggles to regain a sense of normalcy in his life, you were at a crossroads. as if the breakup hadn’t been bad enough, you discover that you are pregnant. what the hell could you possibly do? should you confront tenko and fight to get him back? kotarou would only think of you as a gold digger trying to use your pregnancy to worm your way into his family. initially, you settle on simply telling tenko about it. no strings attached. you knew him, you knew that he wanted to start a family of his own. besides, this child was the fruit of your love, so how could he not love this child? - you feel invigorated. slowly but surely, tenko would come back into your life. except you stumble upon him with that woman, and all of your hopes and dreams come crashing down. you don’t know what hurts more: the fact that he moved on far quicker than you had, or that you were gullible enough to think he would still pine for you. - you carry through with the pregnancy all on your own. kotarou’s biased logic filtered through your head whenever you headed to work, reminding you that your career put you in danger and increased your chances of not living long enough to see your child grow. children, you had to remind yourself. you were carrying twins. - you decide to retire from the front lines to use your skill set in a safer setting. a simple office job. it was ideal for you and your new little family. the twins already lacked a father; you couldn’t bear the thought of them losing their mother, too. - the moment you see your newborn children for the first time, you break down into tears. they have dark hair just like him. and when their eye color sets in, it is that same crimson shade you loved so much. - it is difficult. motherhood is new territory for you, especially with two babies and a full-time job to juggle. but you make it work, because every time you come home to those sweet little faces, you feel so indescribably happy, even when a part of you still suffered from the loss of your lover. - four years later, tenko is in a hell of a rut. his life is mundane and he is constantly reminded of the fact that he married someone entirely incompatible with him. it had been easy to tolerate in the beginning, but once the honeymoon period wore off, the fighting began. his wife keeps pestering him to finally give her a child, and he dreads the inevitable. worst of all, he had managed to hear by word of mouth that you were no longer a hero, for whatever reason. you were no longer the thing that his father hated, and yet here tenko was, stuck in a loveless marriage when he could have been with you all these years. the thought makes him unspeakably angry at times, and unfortunately he lets it out on his wife. it is not a healthy relationship. - you, however, have moved on for the most part. there simply hasn’t been time to prolong your sadness when you had two hungry mouths to feed. tenko may not be in your life anymore, but you had your beautiful children and that was good enough for you. - you cross paths one day, completely by chance. who could ever think that a boring shopping trip would lead to tenko seeing you for the first time in years. and you looked just as beautiful as you always had. his heart clenched tightly in his chest and he felt his knees go weak at the sight of you. you hadn’t noticed him yet, and he took the opportunity to watch you for a little while longer. he didn’t know if he should go talk to you or not, and while his indecisiveness rooted him to the spot, his attention suddenly shifted to a little boy that tugged at your arm asking for sweets. tenko furrowed his brows in confusion, anxiety welling up within him as his suspicions were about to be confirmed. and then he sees the little girl holding your hand.- and he sees the dark hair. the red eyes. - he nearly throws up from the onslaught of emotions that overtake him. it couldn’t be. it just couldn’t be. - the little girl notices tenko staring at you and shyly whispers to you about the strange man hiding behind a stack of canned food. you lock eyes as the little boy demands tenko to stop being a creep, and you are both rendered silent, too shocked to do anything other than simply look at each other. old feelings resurface in an instant. you both feel a magnetic pull, and tenko nearly succumbs to it. you are the first to regain your senses, because you have children to take care of, and you could not afford to rouse their suspicion. with a brisk nod to tenko you usher the twins forward as you walk away. tenko is left standing there, numb and overcome with feelings.- he wants to go straight to his father’s house and kill him. his hands are practically itching from restraint, and he goes back to his old habit of scratching at his neck, even though you helped him get over this coping mechanism a while ago. tenko goes on a long walk instead, so long that his wife has been bombarding his phone well into the night, but he doesn’t care. he needs to think. he needs to understand what he saw. - one way or another, you both find each other again at the grocery store. tenko had been waiting for you for days in that store in hopes of seeing you, and you knew him well enough to know that he would do something dramatic like this. so you appear one day without the children, distant and polite as you finally muster up the mental fortitude to speak with him. - this conversation warranted a more serious setting, but tenko didn’t want to risk his wife seeing you, and you did not want him in your house. so you go to a large park and find a secluded area to talk. and talk you did, for a very long time. tenko is practically choking with guilt and resentment towards everyone in his life for putting you both in this ridiculous circumstance. if only things had been a little different, if only you two had a little more time together, then none of this would have happened. all of these years, wasted. worst of all, his suspicions were confirmed - those two children were his, and he missed out on so many important milestones. - he wants you back immediately. he wants you so, so fucking much, he’s never stopped loving you. and he tells you this, as selfish as it is. he hates himself for hurting you like this, because you had already moved on, but you are the mother of his children, damn it. you were his real family, not the woman he grew to resent. - you are too afraid to start a relationship just yet, but you do agree to introduce him to the children. tenko pulls you in for a bone crushing hug when you say that. he nearly kisses you, with how close your beautiful face is to his, but he restrains himself. there will be time for that later. he’s going to win you back, and he will never let you go. - for once, his life was starting to get better. tenko finally feels like he has a purpose, a direction in life. but he needs to settle a score. this time, he goes to his father’s house. and as soon as he sees him, he punches the bastard right in his face. the argument that ensues is perhaps the most severe they’ve ever had, even worse than when kotarou had to convince tenko to leave you. - when he tells kotarou about the children, he feels a sick satisfaction when kotarou falls silent, and his family is left in various stages of shock. he forbids them from talking to him, or trying to contact you. he wants nothing to do with his family, even his mother and sister. they may not have had any part in kotarou’s schemes, but they were always ultimately on his side, and he hates them now more than ever. hana of course does not allow this negativity to brew between them. she is team tenko for life from now on and is resolved to help him. his mother is devastated by how everything had fallen apart, how she had grandchildren she never knew about. she cries over this for days and doesn’t speak to kotarou. - when the initial shock of everything settles down, tenko is there for his children every step of the way. he fights hard to win their trust and friendship, which is relatively easy, because he already loves them so much and they can sense his joy when they want to be with him. - and how could your relationship with tenko not prosper? despite everything, you can’t resist falling back into deep friendship. but you can’t bring yourself to enter a physical relationship with him, no matter how horribly tempting it is, because tenko is still married and you can’t condone cheating. you don’t want to be the side chick, no matter how in love you two were. - tenko calls up his lawyer that night, gets those divorce papers, and hands them to his wife as soon as he sees her. and we all know he’s in for a hell of a fight. every excuse he offers is swiftly shut down. he’s fallen out of love with her? tough shit, that’s marriage. he’s cheating on her? now she’s not divorcing him out of spite. it’s only when he confesses that he has children that she becomes genuinely heartbroken. she’s always wanted children, and tenko always made excuses. now that she knows about you, about the history you two shared, she is so overcome with jealousy that she doubles down on her refusal to divorce him. - no problem. enter kotarou, properly whipped to hell and back by his family and eager to get on their good side again. he’s too damn old and tired to keep up the drama, especially now that you aren’t a hero. there just isn’t any point to all of this. his powerful business connections allow him to put pressure on the wife’s family to convince her to take a settlement and sign the papers. to tenko’s endless relief, she relents in the end. - with nothing standing in the way of your happiness, tenko moves in with you and you become a proper family. you get married as soon as you feel confident in his love for you again, and you conceive on your wedding night. tenko loves his children very much, but he is also ecstatic about the chance to be there for your third child, to feel like a proper father and support you like he’s always wanted to. - you better believe ya’ll live happily ever after.

[softjeon]

drabbles; masterpost

— all drabbles are written with @cassiavioletblue​ 

YOONGI X JIN 

— PAIRING; Yoongi x Jin [Boyfriend!AU] — GENRE; fluff  | — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; Because nothing felt as good as falling asleep beside the one he loved. → read here!

— PAIRING; Yoongi x Jin x Jungkook [Teacher!AU] | — GENRE; fluff, hints of smut — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; “ If he didn’t look at them, and ignored them for long enough they might disappear again. He was doing this for a week now… ever since the incident. → read here!

NAMJOON X JIMIN 

— PAIRING; Cheerleader!Jimin x Athlete!Namjoon | — GENRE; fluff | —  DISCLAIMER; mentioning of blood Summary; Jimin startled, when Namjoon had so bluntly called him ‘beauty’ blushing furiously on the spot and then the boy had the audacity to be so cute and stumble into the bench. → read here!

— PAIRING; Hades!Namjoon x Aphrodite!Jimin [GreekGod!AU] | — GENRE; fluff, smut — DISCLAIMER; mentioning of cheating, jealousy, nsfw-content Summary; Of course Namjoon didn’t say anything because he knew that Jimin was well aware of his opinion about the younger bathing shamelessly in front of his demons. And Jimin did it despite his knowledge - or maybe even because of it. The god of love liked to tease, to taunt and seduce, to allure and play. And he took great pleasure in making Namjoon jealous. → read here!

— PAIRING; Jimin x Namjoon [FriendstoLovers!AU] | — GENRE; fluff — DISCLAIMER; mentioning of alcohol Summary; He was in love with him. For some reason, he had wormed his way into his heart and mind and Jimin just realized how close he was to losing his soul completely. → read here!

— PAIRING; Jimin x Namjoon [Domestic/Family!AU] | — GENRE; fluff — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; The little boy gulped, tears clouding his view, panic making him unable to see that he had stumbled into an office. Rubbing his eyes, he looked up at the man that seemed so tall behind his desk and when a sudden curse fell from his lips, it startled him completely.“You son of a…” Jimin’s eyes widened as he saw the little kid standing right in front of him, listening intently and with wide, teary eyes. → read here!

JIMIN X JUNGKOOK

— PAIRING; Demon!Jimin x Demon!Jungkook  | — GENRE; Smut-ish | — DISCLAIMER; mentioning of possession  Summary; “So what you’re saying is that you’re free right now? No projects, no deadlines?” His smile turned into grin. “Well, how about a little game then?” → read here!

YOONGI X JUNGKOOK

— PAIRING; Vampire!Yoongi x Human!Jungkook  | — GENRE; fluff with nsfw-content  — DISCLAIMER; blood  Summary; “Finally!” Yoongi was up on his feet in a second, breathing in as the heavenly scent of his boyfriend filled the air. He smelled always delicious but when he was hungry like this the smell alone made him salivate. → read here!

— PAIRING; Yoongi x Jungkook | — GENRE; fluff [Kiss me quietly Headcanon] — DISCLAIMER; anxiety, shyness Summary; They had been on a few dates already and Jungkook still needed to wrap his mind around that the outgoing-heartbreaking-leather-jacket-wearing man was interested in him. Him, out of all the people, he could have chosen. → read here! 

— PAIRING; Yoongi x Jungkook [Angel!AU] | — GENRE; fluff — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; “Yoongi! Yoongi! Yoongi!” Jungkook called out a few more times, giggling as he flew closer. His heart was beating fast, hands shaking in excitement and joy. Yoongi had been gone for so long, guarding someone that needed him close almost every day and Jungkook had missed him dearly. → read here!

YOONGI X HOSEOK

— PAIRING; Yoongi x Fairy!Hoseok | — GENRE; fluff | — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; “Here comes the sun, la-la-la~,” A voice, sounding like a sweet little bell chiming was making Yoongi turn his head around. There was something glistening on the flowers, jumping around with such laughter and glee that it made him smile. → read here! 

— PAIRING; Yoongi x Hoseok [IceCreamParlor!AU] | — GENRE; fluff — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; “This is the stupidest day of my fucking stupid life. Who in this god damn world slips on a banana? Just tell me one!” Hoseok exclaimed, whining as he accused no one in particular but more likely the universe - which seemed to be against him all day. → read here!

— PAIRING; Yoongi x Hoseok [Airport!AU] | — GENRE; fluff — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; The sudden weight on his shoulder, made Yoongi flinch and freeze the same moment, eyes widening. There was a man leaning onto him, dark hair, eyes closed as he pursed his lips cutely while mumbling something in his sleep. → read here!

YOONGI X JIMIN

— PAIRING; Barista!Yoongi x Jimin | — GENRE; fluff | — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; “I know, I know!” Yoongi chuckled. He had said ‘the usual’ because it was way shorter than repeating what Jimin had said to him the first time he had been here. Yoongi had blinked at him in confusion, pretty sure that the other was joking or doing some silly dare. However he came back two days later to order the same. And the same after that. → read here!

HOSEOK X TAEHYUNG

— PAIRING; Hoseok x Taehyung [Neighbour!AU] | — GENRE; fluff | — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; Taehyung had enough. He could really endure a lot, that wasn’t it. But this was just too much. It was almost midnight and whoever this new guy was - he was blasting his music loudly in his room and making it so much harder for him to sleep. → read here!

HOSEOK X JUNGKOOK

— PAIRING; Hoseok x Jungkook [FirstDate!AU] | — GENRE; fluff | — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; “But you’re never nervous, Hobi.” Jungkook chuckled, wanting to add ‘so why would I be the reason that you are’ but he kept it in his mind. → read here!

HOSEOK X JIMIN

— PAIRING; Jimin x Witch!Hoseok [Soulmate!AU] | — GENRE; fluff — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; Dreams, a red string, their name tattooed on your wrist and sharing dream. He heard them all before. He had seen them happen before. Just not to him. Maybe fate had fucked up with him. There was no one waiting for him, no tattoo that needed another half to be completed, no string attached to him, no dreams…nothing. → read here!

TAEHYUNG X JUNGKOOK

— PAIRING; Taehyung x Jungkook [BreakUp!AU] | — GENRE; angst | — DISCLAIMER; cheating, break-up Summary; “I…” He broke of. Somehow he hadn’t thought this through. Tae had every right to just leave him standing there outside. His heart clenched painfully, knowing that the other was so close, right behind this door and yet he couldn’t touch him, couldn’t kiss him or hold him like he yearned for. → read here! 

TAEHYUNG X SEOKJIN

— PAIRING; Taehyung x Jin [Prince!AU]  | — GENRE; fluff — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; What if he would find true love - but only in ten, twenty, thirty years? Or maybe he would find in in an opponent from another country that he couldn’t be with or someone who was sick and would die before they even had a chance at a life together. Normally he wasn’t so gloomy and an optimistic and positive person but whenever he thought about the emptiness in his chest (and his bed) his heart felt heavier and his thoughts grew darker. → read here!

— PAIRING;  Taehyung x Jin [FigureSkater!AU] | — GENRE; fluff, angst — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; Taehyung nodded with a strained smile, before it faltered again the moment the door was closed and it was only the two of them left. “For how much longer are we playing this stupid charades, huh?” → read here! 

NAMJOON X JIN 

— PAIRING;  Namjoon x Jin [SecretAgents!AU] | — GENRE; fluff — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; “And I might like your pretty face, so…if anyone touches it, i’ll break every single bone in their body.” → read here!

NAMJOON X TAEHYUNG

— PAIRING; Namjoon x Taehyung [DrinkingGame!AU] | — GENRE; fluff, hints of smut — DISCLAIMER; none Summary; “Your turn,” His words sounded slurred as he downed his drink, giving Namjoon a beautiful smile as he leaned in closer. “Truth or dare?” Taehyung asked with a raised eyebrow. → read here!

[mythandlaur]

alright. test of redemption. and also dissonant counterpoint and "are ya winning the tournament son" for good measure. go.

The WIP Tag Game

Couple repeats, but I have more snippets for both of them so it’s fine.

Long post once again!

The Twins: Test of Redemption (old title) - Terraria - 2016

Ah, yes. My baby, and the bane of my existence. A piece that makes me both smile and cringe whenever somebody happens to find it on AO3. A piece that embarrasses me now because I didn’t know “sp*z” was a slur at the time and now I can’t figure out what to nickname Sp*zmatism thanks Re-Logic. And also embarrasses me because I couldn’t think of a better title. I didn’t even think it was a good title back then I just couldn’t think of another one. This story is a specter that sometimes leaves for a while, but occasionally returns to remind me of its existence, and when it does I look on it with as much fondness as I do shame. I had so much planned. To an extent, I still do. It sits in the back of my mind, waiting for me to get the courage to try again. Maybe I will someday, but for now it sits in a massive series of documents on my computer and Google. And here, now.

Randall and Sherwin Spencer, chosen heroes of Terraria, failed, and died. However, a pact Randall made with an otherworldly power both damned and saved them, and twenty years later, with the world shifting more violently than ever, the stars align to see them revived--without any memory of either of their past lives, man or monster. Guided by the displaced and irritable Keeper of the Underworld, who's trying and failing to remain low-key, the two eventually make their way to a refugee town founded by those the Spencers had abandoned long ago. And so their fight for Terraria begins anew, though now more difficult than ever with the Moon Lord trying to hinder them, the land's strengthening corruption pulling at their very souls, and a few key members of the Lunar Cult keeping a too-close eye on them, one of whom has more than a little bit of a bone to pick after a hasty decision invokes the Moon Lord's favoritism. Meant to be a story of companionship and family, hope and guilt, making up for mistakes and facing the people you hurt without running away, and saving the world--even when it's hard.

Okay, big spiel over, you can tell I still love this stupid thing. Have a bit I wrote slightly more recently (during NaNo 2018) of our green lad being outrageously stupid and summoning a boss, but it’s fine because the moon told him to do it, and then the boss screwed off because the cult told it to go and try to destroy the town so the twins didn’t have any support network. Instances of the character’s name have been replaced by [S]

The next orb was in another dip in the ground just before the main cavern closed itself off into a dead end. A grin spreading across his face, he swung practically before he even reached it.

This time, when the orb broke, dropping an odd-looking spear at his feet, the ground immediately began to rumble.

All at once, the gold light he’d been emitting winked out, leaving him in the purple-tinted darkness. He jolted as if suddenly waking from a dream, his thoughts quickly slipping back into focus as he leapt forwards to avoid being knocked down. A great quake shook the world around him, sending his teeth rattling in his head as he tried to figure out exactly where he was and how he’d gotten here.

He—he’d been on the roof, hadn’t he? The moon…but…how had he gotten here?

Another tremor. [S] grit his teeth and braced himself against the stone with both hands, hammer discarded at his side. He could swear he heard something in the distance; the earth turning, stone crunching, the low rumble of a creature’s roar…

The ground exploded behind him.

[S] scrambled forward, but found himself hitting the cavern’s dead end. He quickly pushed himself around to face the threat, and all the blood drained out of his face.

It was a titanic worm, thicker around than a man with mandibles the size of [S]’s head. Its skin was a sickly purple that almost blended in to the corrupted landscape, and it was covered in innumerable yellowed eyes, all focused directly on him with a look of absolute hatred as it rose up out of the earth, roaring loud enough to shake some loose stone from the walls.

[S] staggered backwards, back hitting the wall as he gaped up at the creature. Was this the worm he’d been told about? There was on time to worry about it—he was unarmed, he needed to get out—

The worm lunged forward with surprising speed, and [S] cried out as he launched himself to the side, back roughly smacking into the wall of the cavern. Hammer was quickly replaced with shield, and he scooped up the thin spear from the orb, testing its weight before plunging it down towards the worm’s body as it raced past.

The spear itself didn’t connect, but with a pulse of mana, it shot out a spike that made the worm roar in pain. [S] quickly dashed further down the cavern in an attempt to get more room to move as the worm burrowed itself into the ground, then burst out of the dead end towards him.

[S] quickly grappled the ceiling, feet barely an inch above the worm as it raced by underneath him, then burrowed back into the ground. Another roar shook the cavern, and the world around him rumbled and lurched, before the head of the worm popped out again above him, and its undulating body twisted up to try and encircle him.

Teeth clenched, he used the power of the shield to dash forward and past the worm, though it nicked him on his way by, causing him to hiss in pain and fumble his landing. He rolled along the ground until his head smacked into a Demon Altar, and stars shone in front of his eyes even as he struggled to get his legs back under him. He could hear the worm burrowing, hear it getting closer, closer, he forced himself up and started running without being entirely sure in which direction he was heading—

And then, the faint moonlight shimmering down from the surface seemed to brighten. The worm burst straight down vertically out of the ceiling where [S] had been standing, but it burrowed straight down into the floor without paying any mind to him. Its next appearance was traveling straight up, up, and out of one of the chasms, leaving [S] frozen as he watched it disappear and heard its roar fading into the distance.

A minute passed, then two, [S] listening intently to ensure the worm wasn’t about to come back. Three minutes later, [S] crumpled to his knees, gasping for the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and letting the shield and Vilethorn drop to the stone beside him. His hands reached up to his head, and his face twisted as a massive headache blossomed behind his eyes.

His mind was racing. What was he doing here? Hadn’t he been on the roof moments ago? What had made the worm so upset at him?

Why had it left? And…where was it going?

[S] pushed himself into a proper sitting position, throwing his head back, eyes shut. The allure of the Corruption had absolutely left him, replaced by fear and guilt. Just what had he done, and why? Had Ret been right? What was he supposed to do now?

Ungodly screeching and scrabbling from creatures deeper in the cavern snapped him out of his endless questions, and he scrambled to his feet. He—he couldn’t go back to Rifdale, not yet, so without thinking he ran, he ran until he reached an alcove where one of the orbs had been (he remembered that, somewhat, vaguely, it was difficult to tell) and curled up inside, staring up at the opening as some of the Corruption’s strange mandibled creatures tried and failed to figure out a way through the opening.

Once he was certain they wouldn’t get in, he buried his face in his arms. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to stay there, but if he hadn’t been able to face Ret before…he certainly wasn’t ready to now.

---

Dissonant Counterpoint - Crypt of the Necrodancer - 2017

Talked about here, but here’s another bit dated January 2018, from near the fic’s tragic end, immediately after the undead Fret’s been incinerated by a red dragon.

"It seems a shame to just leave you here like this. You did have so much...potential."

He wasn't sure how he could see or how he could hear--it was something beyond him, now, some sort of magical tomfoolery he'd never wanted to deal with. But he could see Octavian's boots in front of his face and could hear his constant song pulsing inside his head.

"Ah, don't worry. I think I'll be able to get you set up with something you'd like."

Anger flared again.

You don't know a single fucking thing about what I'd like, he thought, You don't know anything about me. You never did. You just know what you made up.

He wasn't sure how he could stand, either, but he did, compelled by a command. He stared at his former friend, who now looked somewhat uncertain and spooked. He wanted to yell, he wanted to scream, but words were something else beyond him.

He could see and hear when he shouldn't be able to. He could stand when he shouldn't be able to. He could live when he shouldn't be able to.

And yet whatever cruel joke the universe wanted to play on him still refused to let him speak.

"Still have nothing to say to me, old friend?"

The anger burned away, just like everything else had. And all it left was a grim, defeated sort of certainty.

His final act of defiance would be to give in.

He refused to give Octavian the fight he so clearly wanted. He would not let this man tease and torment him, control him however he liked and know he was still there watching it all in despair. He refused to despair.

He couldn't move on his own anymore. He was no doubt unidentifiable. No one would know it was him except Octavian.

How's it gonna feel to get everything you wanted? He wished he could somehow convey his own bitterness, but he was frozen. To know there's nothing more for you to do?...I bet you're gonna hate it. You always wanted to be something more. How's it gonna feel when there’s nothing left to be?

Octavian ducked out of his sightline, and then something was shoved into his hand; the familiar shaft of his halberd. His fingers closed around it, though he wasn't sure how that was possible. Octavian looked...perhaps the least bit upset.

"Er, here. I'll get you something better later. Come along."

The song pulled him forward behind Octavian as they walked deeper into the crypt and away from his own coffin. The only thing that made him question his decision was the thought of Maria--his weird little half-sister that he did care about so much--sick, dying, clutched by fever like he was and all because of him. If she came here...If he wasn't here...

But maybe it would still be better, because she and whatever ghosts she could conjure to her aid would destroy him. And then it would be a double loss for Octavian. Something he could never fix.

Give him hell for me.

But he was going to free himself. He would not let himself stay trapped here anymore.

...You win. How's it feel?

The song seemed to grow louder in his head, rattling him to the core, overwhelming him, and the anger came back, burning hot and bright, and he stopped. He saw Octavian turning back to face him in confusion.

In one final act, he gathered up all of his strength.

He threw his head back, and broke whatever curse had left him speechless.

And he screamed.

---

are ya winnin the puyo tournament son (doc name) - Puyo Puyo - October 2020

Talked about here, but have another bit.

“Yes? Did you need something?” She looks them over. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before. Are you new?”

Ajisai gives a small bow. “Yes, very much so. I only just arrived here a little while ago, but I heard that you were arranging a Puyo tournament--and that more than just the magic school students were able to participate. Is that true?”

Accord turns her head, glancing at them out of the corner of her eye. “Yes, though the prize will only be for students this year. We had some...unexpected guests vying for it last time, and I’d like for my students to have incentive to show what they’ve learned.”

“Of course.” They nod respectfully. “I’m not interested in the prize, but I would like to participate if I’m able. I’ve been told I have some skill.”

There’s a moment’s pause as Accord looks them up and down searchingly, then shares a glance with the cat. A sly smile spreads across her face as she meets their eyes. “So, you’re participating by yourself this time?”

Ajisai’s eyes widen slightly, but they manage to recover. “Ah...yes, yes I am. Good eye.”

Accord giggles. “You could say we have a nose for this sort of thing.”

“And we don’t trust mew,” the cat adds, baring its teeth. 

Ajisai turns their focus to it, a hand to their chest in mock offense. They know what the cat’s about, of course. “You don’t trust me? Why, we’re practically family.”

The cat hisses, and Accord laughs again, though tries to hide it behind the feather of her cane. “He’s a bit high strung,” she offers, stroking the cat’s head with a finger--it appears to try and pout, but leans into the touch anyway. They’re almost positive they hear purring. Her gaze becomes serious. “Though I do hope you don’t intend to cause any trouble.”

“Of course not.” A hand over their heart, this time genuine. “My wits are about me again, and that is all in the past.” ...They can’t help a slight smirk. “...well, mostly. But I don’t want to cause any harm.”

Accord nods slowly, taking a second to judge their sincerity. “I’m going to choose to trust you.”

“I appreciate it.” Another, lower bow.

[vicunaburger]

Admittedly, I’m Hard to See

Fandom: Beetlejuice the Musical Chapters: 5/? Pairing: Beetlejuice x OC (Holidae) The Players: Beetlejuice, Lydia Deetz, Holidae Bell Word Count: 1,900 Warnings: M for Language

Notes: Beej is a little shit, but we knew that, yeah? He also has a wide knowledge of theatre.

Chapter 5 - In Which Things Go Awry Over Coffee

Lydia tapped impatiently on the glass container that held her still-brewing coffee.

She had thought that by getting a cheap French press it would bring nothing but benefits in the long run: delicious caffeine without leaving your house and waiting for some hipster barista to make it for you. Unfortunately, that just meant that she was now the hipster barista in her own home and had to make it herself, which took precious time away in the morning hours.

Sometimes, she would get lucky and Holidae would have already made it for her; a result that came from her roommate’s insomnia. Often, she would stay up all through the night, and into the next morning when Lydia would arrive for breakfast. Holidae would already be standing in the kitchen, scrolling through her phone as she sipped from her own cup.

Lucky might have been a selfish thought. More like benefiting off a friend’s unfortunate circumstances. Harsh, but Holidae never complained openly about it, so Lydia never worried about taking advantage.

The timer she had set went off loudly, and Lydia wandered over to the stove to shut it down. When she went back to the counter, her coffee was… gone.

Instead of flipping out at the sudden lack of an object that was once there and now isn’t, she calmly sat down at the kitchen table, taking a deep breath.

“If I don’t have a cup in my hands in the next 10 seconds, I’m calling a priest.” She announced to the seemingly empty space.

In a puff of green smoke her coffee appeared in her favored black mug, elegantly placed on a lime green coaster. Lydia picked up the cup, taking a sip with a relaxed sigh.

“Good morning, babes!” Beetlejuice appeared in the seat across from her, a newspaper in both hands. “Supposed to rain today.”

“Is that right? Damn… I was planning to shoot the cemetery later.” She tilted her head, trying to read the front page of the paper. “Why are you so… chipper?”

Beej put the paper down, “Because you’re home? Because I get to meet a new friend? Because rainy days bring out those fat worms in the garden and they are the best for snacking? Lots of reasons.”

Lydia stared deep into the dark liquid swirling around in the cup, “BJ, about Holli…”

The ghost tried to hide the chuckle he let out with a cough, remembering the previous night’s interactions with the breather. He was sure Lyds would get a kick out of the fact he had gotten Holidae to summon him without help from his bestest best friend. He was a very clever fiend.

“What about her?” He asked, going back to his paper nonchalantly.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t have you two meet last night.” She confessed, warming both hands around the cup. “I’m just nervous you two aren’t going to get along.”

Another suspicious cough, “Oh, don’t you worry, Lyds. From what you told me, I’m sure we’ll get along like the Sherman brothers.”

There was a long pause, “…Beej, they hated each other.”

“Really? But that sugar sweet song catalogue…” He peeked over the top of the paper incredulously, “Well, nevermind that. We’ll be the best pals, babes.”

Lydia sighed again, “You’re my best friend, Beej, but she’s my best non-ghost friend. What if I have pick sides in an argument? What if she freaks out and moves away forever? Its pressure I don’t want! That’s why I wanted to introduce you two on my terms.”

An unfamiliar sensation struck Beetlejuice deep in the pit of his stomach, “…yeah?”

“And… and Holidae isn’t always… balanced. Not in the psycho killer type way, but she can get stuck on this anxiety autopilot. It’s hard to get her out of her own head. It’s why she doesn’t sleep often.” Lydia continued, sipping her coffee quietly. “So I felt that if I steered the conversation between the three of us, it would keep everything neutral, you know?”

That sensation hit him harder this time, and he desperately tried to hide his face behind the paper, “…no, no I getcha’, babes. You were just being your usual, thoughtful self is all. No hard feelings. None. All good.”

Beetlejuice was infinitely glad he was hidden from view, lest Lydia see the bright yellow mess his hair had become; a clear sign he was nervous. He hadn’t stopped to consider Lydia might actually have a really good reason for keeping quiet about him, instead of just to prolong his torture. She was always thinking of other people – mostly him to be honest – and he had gone behind her back and completely botched her plans.

His stomach was doing flips, and he was sure he’d be sweating bullets right now if had the capacity.

Ah, guilt.

That was the feeling.

…it had been a while.

Not wanting Lydia to worry herself any more than she had, he tried to calm himself down, desperately willing his mood to change into something better. After a few moments, he vanished his paper out of existence, reaching over and patting Lydia on the head.

“Baaaaabes, don’t you worry! You just let me know when you need me, and I’ll come running. Or floating. Whichever I feel like. Anyway, what I’m saying is take your time and don’t get all antsy about stuff. I can behave… sometimes.” He smiled wide, hoping she couldn’t hear the tension in his voice.

Brushing his hand away, Lydia smoothed out her frizzed hair, “I appreciate it, Beej. As soon as she comes down, I’ll talk to her. Promise.”

“Hey, I’m easy.” He chuckled, vanishing into thin air, leaving his friend alone for the moment.

---

Beetlejuice reappeared in Holidae’s room, spotting the breather sprawled out on the bed and haphazardly tangled in her blankets. He noted she had changed clothes between now and when he left her; sporting what looked like men’s boxer shorts and an oversized t-shirt. Not the slinky lingerie – or better yet commando – look he had secretly hoped for, but the shorts provided a good view of her well-rounded hips and thighs.

Tiptoeing over to the bed, he reached down and poked at her cheek lightly with his finger, “Hey, Holly Hobby, time to wake up. We need to talk.”

Absolutely no response came from the woman on the bed, only the continued rhythmic rising and falling of her chest. Undeterred, he scratched at her face with his claw, hoping the more abrasive touch would do the trick. Holidae inhaled deeply, swatting at her face and rolling over onto her stomach.

Not the response he wanted, although he was momentarily distracted by the fact her shorts were riding up against the swell of her ass. A strangled sort of noise worked its way out of his throat, little streaks of pink highlights sprouting throughout his hair. He told Lydia he could behave, but how could he when such an opportunity was staring him right in the face.

There was the nagging moral quandary to what he was about to do; and he did pause to consider the alternatives to his proposed action. Sure, he could just try and continue to wake her up nicely, but he knew his idea would a much faster – and profitable – venture.

Beetlejuice crackled his knuckles, limbering up as though he were gearing up for a boxing match. With a flourish, he brought the back of his hand down right on Holidae’s butt cheek; a sharp smack sounding out as his skin hit her flesh.

In an instant, Holidae was up and swinging wildly, managing to catch him in the jaw with a left hook. Of course, never having been in a real fist fight – watching plenty of action movies sure, but those didn’t count – she was unprepared for the jolt of pain running down her wrist with the impact. Clutching her hand to her chest, she fell back onto the bed, curling up like a ball bug.

“Son of a bitch-!” Holidae whined, nursing her hand, “What the absolute hell are you made of?”

Beej was working his jaw into place, not suspecting the sudden strength of the counterattack, “Dead guy stuff?”

“Fuck you!” She snapped, shaking out her hand to get some feeling back into it. “I knew that. Wish I didn’t, but I do. And now I will think about that forever.”

Between her hand popping loudly, and the stinging skin on her backside, Holidae was having a hell of a time trying to process being woken up so suddenly from her deep sleep. Beetlejuice took the opportunity to slide into bed next to her, pulling her up by her shoulders into a sitting position. She blinked at him owlishly; her hair flattened in odd places from sleep, and her mascara smudged under her eyes.

He threw an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her body against his and leaning in as though he were whispering a secret, “Listen, baby, when you come downstairs, you have to make sure Lydia has no idea we know each other.”

Holidae could smell that damp earth musk about him, her nose twitching with the scent, “Yeah, no, I’m going to tell her.”

Beetlejuice squeezed tighter, “Ah, see, here’s the part where I tell you that you’re going to keep your pretty mouth shut about it because I will make you keep it shut. Lydia is all stressed out about us getting along, and if she finds out that you and I are buddies, she will get angry. I don’t want angry Lydia. I want happy Lydia.”

She was about to object, but recalled an incident where she had seen angry Lydia firsthand. It was during an art show and a critic was being especially rude about one of the photos Lydia had been presenting as part of her collection. Needless to say, once she was done witnessing the small, doll-like Lydia completely tearing the man into pieces, Holidae resolved to never be on the receiving end of the other woman’s wrath.

Holidae could only imagine what she would have done to the ghost, and by extension, herself.

“If… if I agree, will you promise never to wake me up like that again?” she attempted to pry his hand off of her shoulder.

“Of course, Buddy Holly~ I will never wake you up like that again.” He grinned, inwardly excited that she hadn’t been more specific in her instructions.

He just loved loopholes.

Holidae side-eyed the ghost next to her, sticking out her hand for him to shake, “Deal.”

Beej took hold of her hand, giving it a good shake… before pulling her closer and planting a very sloppy kiss to her cheek, “You’re the best, you know that?”

Squealing in protest, Holidae shoved him away, “No no no, I don’t know where you’ve been!”

“Well-” He started, but he was interrupted.

“Rhetorical statement,” she pointed a finger at him threateningly, “If you want me to go along with your lie, go away. Now. Do the vanishing trick. I have to get dressed and stuff.”

Shrugging, BJ vanished into the air without a word. Holidae waited several minutes before getting up out of the bed, wanting to make sure she was alone before stripping out of her pajamas. Paranoid, she kept her chest covered as much as she possibly could, not trusting that he wasn’t lurking around somewhere trying to catch her off guard again.

Waiting until the last possible moment, she let the shirt drop to the floor, grabbing a bra and slipping it around her torso.

“I knew you had a big rack,” the gravely voice laughed behind her, but he was gone the moment she turned around.

Holidae angrily pulled her shirt over her head, mumbling in what she was quickly adopting as a new mantra, “We want happy Lydia… happy Lydia…”