#look there's nothing wrong with conflict in stories but this was a real issue back in the day

[dj-of-the-coven]

hey twewy fandom here's your quick reminder that Beat being characterized as homophobic is leftover from the great yaoi age of the late 2000s when every male character who wasn't part of the pale twink duo sucking each other off was given the social sensibilities of a republican orc so 13 year olds could have someone to be uncharacteristically evil in their fanfics and give more conflict to a "forbidden/sinful" romance

[blingblong55]

My Love, Mine all mine -Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Based on a request:

"Broken men know who to love, but not how to love. Broken women know how to love, but not who to love." This is so Simon related 🥺🥺

---- F!Reader, fluff ----

A/N: Because he isn't always some tough masked solider, he is a man with wounds and a life beyond the battle field

It wasn't a shared feeling, he knew that well. You and he had stayed up and talked about a future like you had a clue. He knew your issues, love isn't what you want at times, you miss it, want it, but sometimes just at times, you can't give in to it, in fear of something greater that you don't know about. The smoke of his cigarette gave his not-so-secret hiding spot away. "Better not ask for my jumper again, doll," he knew you were there, knew those steps all too well. You chuckle, "You have to be some superhero," you sit beside him. He shrugs, "Just a mere mortal," he smiles. Silence between you two, speaking the words lips fail to say.

Simon knew you he was meant to love you, but not ever meant to show it. And just as he was about to speak, you rested your head on his shoulder. Classic way to ask for his jumper because you once again forgot your own. "No, not this time, I'm sick today," he excuses. "What if I get sick?" you ask and he chuckles. "You can never get sick darling, remember New Year's Day last year?" 

It was cold, wind and snow surrounded you and he walked to you. The night died down rather quickly, lovers kissing inside as you walked in the snow. Thirteen years of knowing the other, he knew you too well, you want to avoid the romance, avoid the cliche and have something different, but not all can be unique. You know well, he knows too, you turn around, "Go back inside, Si, you'll get sick." He shakes his head. "What, you're telling me you won't take care of me, love?" He gets closer to you, a little pout as he gives you his puppy eyes. "Don't do that, Simon." He smirks. "Doing what, all I'm saying is, why not let me be here with you and just shit-talk all those people who might invite us to their baby showers?" You laugh. "I'm wearing blue," you comment he rolls his eyes. "No way you'll make me wear pink," he shakes his head. You ignore it, knowing a baby shower would come within nine to ten months from your friends. 

He knows you. He just doesn't know if he can ever love you. In this world, a man like him isn't guaranteed a happy ending. Maybe a cut to the throat, death in a dark place, bullets blazing as his body takes its last breaths, that is a guaranteed end. Nothing in this world belongs to him, not even the knife he carries. "I almost got sick," you recall. "Keyword is almost," he looks at the skyline. "So, what is new?" he looks over to you. "Same old story." It was mad, to know he can be the man who loves you unconditionally. You could stab him in the back a million times and a million times he would thank you for doing it. Love works in different ways, his love is dark and deep but real. You could break his heart, expose him to the world, turn him into his enemy, kill him over and over, and each time, he would say he loves you.

It's a dark and twisted fairy tale to love him, but it's love that no one can take from him. He can tell you he loves you over and over, but you would still ask him if it was true. You can kiss him, care for him, hug him in days or nights when he is the most vulnerable, burn the world and watch it fall apart for him, only to have him think it's all foolery. One hug, one kiss, and he would still question what love is. The meaning displayed in your eyes, the feeling displayed in his gaze but neither are too brilliant to take a step and claim what the poets oh so need to see. You are conflicted, getting your heart broken over and over by many lovers, asking and crying to the starry nights what is so wrong with you.

Do you love too much, do you care too much? What if it's you and not them? What then? Simon, the cold stare to the passers and the soft gaze to you. R/N, the confused lover with issues and questions that one man's lips hold the answers to. One New Year's Day, one whisper of a truthful 'I love you,' two hearts, one bed, tears and promises. What makes love is not what others perceive it as. Not for a soldier, not for a civilian who questions all her love. At dinner with friends, questions were asked of when either would settle down like the others did, not knowing the answer was right at that table. Simon and R/N, are two complicated hearts that beat for one reason. To live. But those two words can be more than just a basic meaning.

One stormy night, knock on the door and he opens, shirtless and with hope. "Hi," your hoarse voice is too soft. He opens his arms and you run to them. Antidote, what a soldier like him found in that night when he promised he would be more than just a soldier but a man who loves a woman. A woman who cries in his arms as she gets heartbroken again. Boyfriends, thinking they are better than a true woman who all she wants to do is love and care. Something a soldier like him looks for in the dark. "They don't know what they lost, dear," he kisses the top of your head as he holds you close to him. He is done trying to find reasons to not love you.

You are tired of not finding enough excuses to call him home. Your home. His home. An embrace of a man who all he wants to do is protect the last thing on this earth to love him. It was a shared feeling, you both know that well. It is believed that since the creation of our universe, our galaxy, the dust that made us, always tries to find a way back to its other half. And, as he holds you close, two hearts, under one roof, he finds home, and you find home too. It's not about what piece is broken but what is still there. It's not about love or who or how to love.

Sometimes, love is not just a kiss, sex and a caress. Love is sometimes about waking up late morning, hair all messy, bodies tangled with the sheets and a burst of lazy laughter as you realise your lipstick is all over his face. Love is respect, honesty, trust, happiness, fun, and him, holding you near as he watches you cry over something small. Love is about being imperfect, flawed, broken and having the one you care for sit down, love you a little extra that day and watch as you fix yourself with his hand holding yours. 

Tags:

@ghostslillady @queen-ilmaree @jnsmeyv @madamemelancholysstuff @kit-kats06 @ghostslittlegf @trulyunknownone @rogerfxckingtaylor @cripitique @sinners-sins

[bobbile-blog]

Not sure if anyone’s said this yet but now that we have Laterano events plural I’m fascinated by their (imo) very deliberate choice of protagonists, and there are almost a couple of layers of narrative going on there. I struggle a little figuring out how to get this into words but specifically I think they’re chosen to be people who can carry a narrative without contradicting the orthodox morals of the church. There’s a LOT of vaguely anti-authoritarian rambling below the cut so please kindly bear with me and my English major brain.

I can’t really start there though. One of the reasons this is so brain hurty is how deeply it’s woven into the storyline, so to start, I have to verbalize how Laterano and Arknights writing more generally is different from other, similar settings. Because like, I hear the words “morally negative church in a grimdark setting” and my brain immediately shuts off. Come on, that’s so far beyond low-hanging fruit, if you’ve seen any grimdark setting ever you know exactly what that looks like. And sure, it was fine the first two or three times you saw it, depending on your tolerance for that kinda thing, but it gets boring quick and even when it was new it was kinda uninteresting story-wise. “Religion is always fake because it inspires hope which means everyone who takes meaning from it is either a corrupt grifter or naive and misled” isn’t just edgy nonsense, it’s also basically useless as an actual critique. It tells you absolutely nothing except how to tune out a particular kind of story, and a story that tries to get you to hear less is doing its job wrong.

So, Arknights does something different. Instead of denying the premise of the church entirely, it actually takes it at its word. Laterano is, in almost every definition of the word, a paradise. It is basically unmatched in terms of actual quality of life, with its only competitors being the Durin cities and maybe Aegir, and is worlds apart from now much the rest of Terra sucks. More than that, though, the paradise is specifically tailored to the worldview of a religion with a strong central authority - when I say it takes it at its word, I mean the authoritarian bits too. Laterano is a city that lives in perfect order and peace because everyone follows the law perfectly and they all understand each other and never fight. Empathy is really important for this, as it allows for a believable amount of superhuman societal order. Laterano has very little crime, political drama, or quarrels in general. It’s the promises of a strict higher authority actually taken at face value: everyone follows the rules and that means they have effectively unfettered freedom, because they don’t want to break the rules and therefore they can do anything they want.

Laterano is specifically written to be a believable paradise in a setting that has none, so that when the story then turns around and criticizes that setting, it has significantly more weight. Even when the promises of paradise are taken at face value, there are still issues that cannot be addressed because the system is inherently flawed even in the imaginary scenario where it works. Even worse, the problems that poke holes in the imaginary perfect scenario are the same problems that they face in the real world, like “how do you deal with the interpretation of scriptures” and “hey there’s this racism thing I keep hearing about should we be worried about that or what”. Because of the way this imaginary perfect system works, we then look back on our real world in a new light and understand it a little better. It’s good critique.

Okay so how did we get here and what does this have to do with the protagonists? Well, this starts with Fiametta in Guide Ahead, because she’s a really weird protagonist. This is a cold take at this point but despite being the character on the front of the box, she has very little to actually do with the central conflict of the event. Most of the conflict is handled by Ezell first and Andoain second, and Fiametta mostly putters around putting holes in people until the finale where Andoain receives the answer he’s been looking for, he turns to explain it to the world, and he runs into the only person in the whole of Laterano who does not care about his motivations or his revelation. Her role, in other words, is to replace the climax of Andoain’s story with her own, and in doing so she makes it much harder to actually get a resolution and a meaning out of the story (this should not be taken as a criticism of her character, let me cook). Guide Ahead’s ending is hazy, with only small piecemeal resolutions to its conflicts, and for the longest time that was just the way the event was written and it stood on its own.

But now, Hortus de Escapismo is out and the monkey brain see patterns. Specifically, with the choice of protagonists. Because Executor is definitely different from Fiametta as a protagonist, but there’s one particularly important connection between the two, and that’s that as I mentioned in the beginning, they allow for stories don’t contradict orthodox morality. Fiametta we went over, as she’s uninterested in any of Andoain’s morality and just wants him dead. Executor, though, is purely focused on his mission and views the world through that lens. He only wants to achieve his objective, and while helping the needy is in line with the stated objectives of the church and he does do so when able, it’s secondary to his assigned task. He does change as he gets further into the story, and we’re not gonna ignore that, but we’ll be back to it later. What I mean is more that he is designed as a person who is able to lead a story that doesn’t contradict with the morals of Laterano. He sees the injustice and suffering around him, but that’s not his job, so he doesn’t need to solve it to have a complete story with a happy ending.

This is where it really gets complicated, so I apologize if I don’t explain this very well. I see this as us dealing with multiple layers of fiction: the events of the story, the perspective of the church, and our perspective as readers. Back to the first point - authoritarian institutions almost always use stories to sell people on their brand of order. Simple stories, simple enough that even calling them myths seems like overselling it a little, your “Saint George slays a dragon” kinda thing. This is the point of the second layer, the perspective of the church. I don’t really have an in-world justification for this layer - maybe you could make the argument that it has to do with Law’s perspective on things, but I don’t totally buy that - I think it’s more in a weird narrative transition space for people who don’t read very carefully. Regardless, Fiametta and Executor’s shared indifference to the questionable circumstances surrounding them is designed to let them tell a story to prop up the existing order. Their protagonist status and their missions are specifically constructed to allow them to ignore the suffering around them, and as such ignore the larger questions that might poke holes in the larger order. They’re both playing out the story of Saint George, where they go and find a bad guy and kill them and that’s all there is to it. The story is designed and told specifically for that “that’s all there is to it”.

But, as we said earlier, this is a good critique, and as such it intentionally undercuts this story with the third layer: what we actually see as readers. We are shown the suffering and the injustice, and then get to see our protagonists ignoring that to pursue their goals. This is what gives Guide Ahead’s ending its unique texture, which sets it apart from every other event with a vaguely unresolved ending. We have seen the actual issues with Laterano, and also watched our protagonist explicitly ignore them in favor of her own story. It’s unsatisfying in a way that only really makes sense to me if we as the readers have an understanding of intentional authorship. Whether it be Yvangelista XI or Law or The Actual Real Life Pope, there are issues here that we want to see a resolution to but people are choosing not to address them. Again, it’s good critique. Not only does it push the reader to unpack and understand the actual real-world technique, but it also helps blunt it. You have just seen a plot and protagonist ring uncharacteristically hollow. You then look around to see why that is, and you realize there are many things that should have been resolved that weren’t. The next time you see a story resolve with that same hollow-ness, you know where to look. Surprise! Harry Potter was propaganda the whole time. It’s okay, it was never good, you were just twelve.

I guess the last thing is where we go from here, because Executor’s story breaks this mold somewhat. In Hortus de Escapismo, he has to deal with a mission that isn’t actually bounded by his normal rules, and because of that he actually does have leeway to help the people around him. He starts as someone who is totally mission-focused, but by the end of the event he’s done a total 180 and is blocking Oren’s attack, which makes the mission harder but helps the non-mission-critical civilians of the monastery. He breaks from the rigid thinking of “kill the bad guy and that’s all there is do it”, and gives his attention to the people he isn’t supposed to see. I think this is an indication of the direction we’re going to be headed in the future with Laterano events. The events aren’t going to get better - they’re going to keep being just as morally murky and complicated as in the past - but the characters are going to get better at handling it, and when they do, they’re going to actually start to change things for the better.

Goddamn that was a lot of writing for 1 AM. I still have a. Lot of thoughts on this event with stuff like empathy and Lemuen and Federico being an autistic icon(my beloved) but I’m going to leave things there, I think, because if I write for any longer my phone is going to crash when I try to post this. Anyway if you actually made it to the end thanks for listening to me rambling and I hope that made sense. Cheers.

[justgottafinishthischapter]

Writing Worlds: Homosexuality in Historical Settings

As someone who loves period romances and craves romantic relationships between queer men, it’s very alluring to write queer romances set against the backdrop of historical settings and time periods. But, due to the treatment of homosexuality for a lot of our world’s history, it can make it tricky to know the best way to handle this topic. Consider this to be a sister post to go along with my Writing Romance: Courting post. The two go hand-in-hand.

ESCAPISM VS REALISM

The first hurdle is to decide whether your story is an escapist fantasy or favors realism. In an escapist historical queer romance, the queerness is simply not an issue. The prince can flat out tell his parents to arrange his marriage to male suitors, and the only real reaction is his mother immediately listing off good matches for him. The conflict has nothing to do with the fact that the relationship is between two same-sex characters, and would work just as well for a heterosexual romance story. With an escapist fantasy, you can show the Count of Yorkshire navigating the hardships of courting by having multiple young men vying for his hand, or the whirlwind romance as he catches the eye of the Duke of Orleans. And this romance can be just as open and public as any straight relationship. This option would fall under Historical Romanticism, the term used for when historical settings are made to be more idyllic and favorable than they likely were in real life. The only media where this approach tends to show up often is Fantasy, in worlds where homophobia simply never really existed. The Elder Scrolls is one such setting where male gods are married to one another, other gods change genders and pronouns as they like, and your player character is free to romance anyone of any gender as well as adopt without anyone making biggotted remarks.

On the other hand, Realism in a Historical Queer Romance is going to come prepackaged with a lot of tension and angst, as it’s automatically a forbidden romance. Because homophobia is a real issue that real queer people deal with, having queer characters deal with these issues can help your queer audience feel seen as these fictional characters can relate to their own life experiences. It’s also just more historically accurate to have queer lovers needing to tiptoe around behind people’s backs and hoping they don’t get caught. However, due to this prejudice, it’s also very easy for such settings and stories to come off as depressing, and can perpetuate unpleasant tropes in queer media, such as Bury Your Gays, Unhappily Ever After, and downer Nomance endings. Because their relationship isn’t “appropriate” for public eyes, it makes it hard for the couple to have a truly happy ending. For someone who’s tired of dealing with homophobia in their own life, or it just being present in almost all queer media, it can be tedious for those who want an escape to enjoy two guys smooching while looking dapper in period costumes.

Homosexuality and Religion

As a medieval historian, I actually did a full research paper on homosexuality in the middle ages as a part of my final for one of my medieval history classes. I still have the paper saved, so let me share an abridged version. Pagan cultures might have had some issues with homosexuality, such as the Norse favoring the “tops” over the “bottoms”, a sentiment shared by both the Greeks and Romans. However compared to later eras of history, these Pre-Christian cultures had little problems with same-sex relationships. Every Greek God but Ares, Hephaestus, and Hades had at least 1 male lover, Emperor Hadrian had his boy-toy Antinous deified after he drowned in the Nile, and the Sacred Band of Thebes was made up entirely of same-sex lovers. The idea that homosexuality was wrong only emerged with Christianity. Just... not as soon as you’d think. Christianity became a wide-spread faith across Europe around about 300 AD, mostly spread by Constantine’s deathbed conversion to Christianity. However, it would not be until the 12th century that homosexuality as a sin would emerge. This shift first started during what is known as the Medieval Renaissance when Christian theologians like St. Ambrose, St. Augustine, and St. Jerome altered the theological discourse on sin and virtue. Prior to the Medieval Renaissance, the mindset was that simply being Christian and accepting Christ as one’s savior was all it took to get into Heaven. After the Medieval Renaissance, the focus shifted to individual sin and the worthiness of the individual soul. They came to view Earth as sort of a testing grounds or waiting room, and any temporary Earthly pleasure was a wicked temptation sent by Satan to lead men astray. How you did on the test impacted whether you passed or failed. One thing that was declared a sin was fornication without the prospect of procreation. And this went for everyone. Any sexual act that would not result in childbirth was a sin, because you were doing it for the pleasure, not for the purposes of making a baby. Furthermore, any position except Missionary was also sinful, again in an attempt to limit pleasure. Since cis-gendered homosexuals cannot procreate, any homosexual acts were universally labeled as a sin by happenstance. Later in 1179, Peter Comestor proposed to the Third Lateran Council a link between the biblical condemnation of sodomy with explicitly condemning homosexuals, and not just anal fornication as a whole, even stating that clerks found guilty of this act should be removed from office, and laymen should be excommunicated from the church. It is Peter Comestor and his stance on homosexuality that truly caused homosexuality to be labeled as a sin on principal, and is why so many modern Christians still believe homosexual relationships are sinful by nature. However, it’s worth pointing out that the time from when Christianity was a widespread faith in Europe (approx. 300 AD) to the Third Lateran Council (1179) is a span of 879 years. As of this point in 2023, the time between Comestor’s condemnation of homosexuality and the present is only 844 years. Meaning that Christianity has a longer history of tolerating homosexuality than it has condemning it. I say all of this because in any setting where Christianity is not a part of the worldbuilding, there is no reason to have homophobia, unless you replace Christianity with a similarly homophobic fictional religion, as George RR Martin does with the Faith of the Seven in A Song of Ice and Fire. As for Judaism and Islam, I’m at a loss there. My studies didn’t really lead me to those topics, and I can’t offer much insight there.

Handwaving Escapist Diversity

Let’s be real, we can’t even cast People of Color in fantasy stories without racists crapping their pants, so unfortunately, we’re going to face similar problems having queer couples openly courting each other in a historical setting. But, there are a few ways around this where we can have our cake and eat it too without the homophobes being able to hide behind “historic accuracy” as a reason to have a problem with queer romances in historical periods. It’s all about the genre. Let’s look at some of the genres we can use.

Historical Fiction: This is the base form. Any period piece is going to be historical fiction. However, Historical Fiction comes in a wide array. Historical Romanticism is the lighter approach, simply putting make-up on the era to make it more palatable and appealing. Think of Bridgerton where the dresses are shaped historically and the characters behave historically, but the Queen is a woman of color, and the dress materials are far more colorful and bright than they would have been at the time. It’s still the Regency era, just with a bit of rouge. On the other hand, there’s Alternate History. Historical settings where a major deviation has occurred in the timeline. Whether the Roman Empire never fell, the British crushed the American Revolution and took over the entire world, Christianity never caught on and the Roman Pantheon is the most widespread belief system, or the industrial revolution exploded even harder, resulting in a more Steampunk vibe. A major upheaval has altered the face of history, and your queer romance is set in an utterly changed world with a different timeline.

Steampunk: As I just touched on, your world can be more technologically advanced, however, Steampunk can also be a genre for completely fictional worlds, giving you a great way to have a story set in an era with an 1880s - 1910s aesthetic, but easily exist as it own world with its own history and values where homosexual relationships aren’t a problem. Steampunk is also the most optimistic and aesthetically oriented of the science-fiction -Punk genres, compared to the much bleaker and more cynical outlooks of Cyberpunk, Diesel Punk, and Gothic Punk.

Gaslamp Fantasy: Basically, Steampunk but with fantastical elements. It keeps that late Victorian - Edwardian aesthetic, but adds magic, faeries, dragons, vampires, etc. Now, Steampunk leans more Sci-fi, while Gaslamp Fantasy is more well.... Fantasy, so Gaslamp Fantasy does tend to lose some of the technological aspects of Steampunk, but it can also overlap with Magitech, a subgenre where machinery is powered and propelled by magical energy. So, you can very well have a Steampunk Gaslamp Fantasy where all of the steam and gears and machinery is powered by magic. It’ still Steampunk, so long as that train is powered by shoveling magic energy crystals into the furnace, instead of coal. Howl’s Moving Castle is a good example of how the two can coexist. There are normal trains as we see in Sophie’s town, but we also see Howl’s castle which can move because of Calcipher, a fire demon that needs to constantly eat a fuel source of one kind or another. The world is full of witches, magic, and curses, but there’s also muskets, trains, airplanes, zeppelins, and a castle that spews steam and smoke as it wanders the countryside.  

Paranormal Romance: Especially common with Vampires, but the fallout of Twilight and Alpha/Beta/Omegas in pop culture has also led to a rising interest in Werewolf stories, and a recent trend has also swept Faeries into the pop culture spotlight as well. All three offer stories where one or both of your characters is an immortal (or very long-lived) individual. Perhaps their world is homophobic now, but when they met and fell in love, it was perfectly acceptable. Perhaps being alive for 800 years piqued the main character’s curiosity and they decided to give it a try. The long history of homosexuals being demonized has led to a large percentage of queer people identifying with the monsters and villains of media, causing them to see themselves in the hated monsters, demons, and vampires that threaten the heterosexual heroes of old.

Historical Fantasy: For everything else that’s not within that Victorian-Edwardian window, Historical Fantasy has you covered. From Cyclopes and Sirens in Ancient Greece to Dragons and Goblins in Medieval France, or a mermaid ending up in an Americana freak show, this pretty much covers ever kind of fantasy romance in a historical setting that’s not covered by Paranormal Romance or Gaslamp Fantasy.

Renaissance Punk: It’s like Steampunk, but the world’s technology resembles the contraptions of Leonardo Da Vinci, as opposed to the clockwork, gears, and steam aesthetic plastered onto the turn of the 20th century that Steampunk offers. Also called Da Vinci Punk.

Space Punk: If you’re wanting to lean more Sci-fi, you can do Space Punk. Think Treasure Planet, though I could also call that Sail Punk. It has a very Victorian clothing and technological aesthetic, but then space is full of a breathable Ethereum, and even Doctor Doppler’s “space suit” looks closer to an old-timey diver’s suit. But the ship has solar sails, the mast charges up with a power source that propels the ship into space, lockets project holograms of still photographs, cybernetic prosthetics are technologically advanced, and aliens are a common sight, even for the poorest commoner.

Same-Sex Courting for Escapist Romance

I touched on this in my Writing Romance: Courting post, but I’ll cover it again because it’s especially applicable here. The rules of courting in the 1800s relied heavily on gender roles. So, how does one make sense of courting rules when the couple are the same sex? The basic rule of thumb is that whoever is higher in status is the one to be chased, while the one of lower class does the chasing. If a Duke is looking for a husband, does the Duke chase Viscounts or do Viscounts chase the Duke? Always, the Viscounts chase the Duke. A Duke is a valuable husband, a prize catch those Viscounts would want to have. What if the romance is between two men of equal class? Two Dukes falling in love? The one who would take the more passive role is likely to be whichever is higher in the line of succession. During the courting phase, an elligible queer bachelor is likely to recieve many gentlemen callers. They would come to the bachelor’s house where his family could keep an eye on him, and judge his prospects. They would bring gifts and trinkets, and sit in the tea room, sewing room, drawing room, or whatever room is used to entertain guests. Gentlemen callers would then talk with the bachelor, recite poetry, play the piano, or whatever else they could to impress the bachelor and his family. Again, as I said before, the one being visited by gentlemen callers is whoever is higher up in the chain of nobility. The Duke’s family is going to scrutinize every gentleman who calls on their son, while the Baron’s family is going to urge him to call on every queer man who outranks him. The other thing to keep in mind is inheritance. The first-born son inherits everything, so a second-born son or third-born son will get nothing from his father, or best case scenario, he will get a small fraction of the family fortune from his father or older brother. In order for these younger sons to stay in the lifestyle they were raised in, they will have to marry someone who is coming into his fortune. In a setting where women can inherit her father’s entire estate, a lesbian would function the exact same as a gay man. Ergo, any queer romantic lead who is not inheriting his father’s full estate must seek a first-born son who will inherit his father’s estate. Meanwhile, if your protagonist is a first-born son, he is far more likely to be chased by the younger sons of distinguished families. Finally, when it comes to the social season and courting at dances, queer nobles would likely wear something to distinguish themselves from the heterosexual nobles at the party. Something to let the other guests know their preference in dance partner. That way, gentlemen know not to ask the Baroness of Agincourt to dance, but that the Duke of Orleans is all too eager to receive male attention.

Lavender Marriages in Realist Romances

A lavender marriage is when a queer person marries someone of the opposite sex to disguise their homosexual dalliances, such as Renly Baratheon marrying Margaery Tyrell, or Laenor Valyrian marrying Rhaenyra Targaryen. In these instances, the woman knew her husband was queer and was willing to work with him to keep the secret. However, sometimes the wife wouldn’t know, and the husband was keeping his sexuality a secret from everybody. However, it was usually hard for a noble to keep his dalliances completely hidden from the court, as in both of these cases, both Renly and Laenor were well-known around court to be fanciful of male attention. Everyone typically knows the wedding is a sham, but tend to turn a blind eye to it regardless. I know I’ve been using male examples this whole post, but this does also work with lesbian romances. I believe the term is still lavender marriage with a lesbian, but I could be mistaken.

Actual Homosexuality in Historical Time Periods

Scholars debate the exact nature of their relationship, but in Arthurian Myth, King Galehaut is conquering his way across Arthur’s Kingdom when he challenges Arthur to a duel for the throne of Camelot. However, upon seeing Sir Lancelot, Galehaut offers to concede to Arthur if he’ll introduce him to Lancelot. From then on, Galehaut and Lancelot became Very Close Special Guy Friends, and it’s suspected that the pair might be lovers, or at least that Galehaut is in love with Lancelot.

Leonardo Da Vinci was involved with one of his male models, Pietri Bandielli, who Da Vinci used as a model for Jesus. Which also means, If you pray to the white version of Jesus with the little beard and long brown hair, congratulations! You’re worshiping a gay Italian male model that used to have sex with Leonardo Da Vinci.

Hans Christian Andersen fell in love with the son of his financier, Edvard Collins. But, when Collins became engaged and later married to Henriette Tybjerg, a heartbroken Andersen wrote the story of The Little Mermaid as an allegory for his unrequited love. Collins was the handsome prince who didn’t return the mermaid’s feelings, Henriette was the Temple Girl who stole the mermaid’s love, and Andersen himself was the mermaid, unable to verbalize her true feelings, and suffering great pain just to be near the one she loves.

It’s mostly speculation, but it’s believed that Richard I of England had a clandestine homosexual relationship with Phillip II of France. The majority of evidence comes from one particular courtier’s writings who described them as eating from the same dish and not being separated by their beds at night. However, it’s hard to say if this is evidence of a homosexual relationship, or just the flowery prose writing of the time describing a very close bromance.

Edward II of England had little interest in war. Hoping to toughen up his son, Edward’s father assigned a squire to Edward that excelled in tournaments, Piers Gaveston. However, this backfired spectacularly, as Edward fell in love with Piers. Gaveston flaunted his sway over the king, being so bold as to wear royal purple and the queen’s jewelry during Edward’s coronation. Gaveston was hunted down and beheaded by a group of barons, and Edward himself was killed with a red-hot poker shoved up his backside.

King James I of England was a well-known bisexual, even having a secret passageway linking his bedchambers with that of George Villiers. James’ male lovers experienced royal favoritism and protection, as James absolved one male lover for poisoning a political rival, and twice protecting Villiers from impeachment for incompetency. Following James’ death, Villiers was struck through by a sword.

Anne Lister was a noblewoman who often dressed in masculine clothing and kept a coded diary which recounted her many and varied lesbian affairs over her lifetime. Lister even earned the nickname Gentleman Jack, and is often regarded as the First Modern Lesbian.

Pirate ships were one of the few places where gay marriage was legitimate. Pirate captains could perform marriage ceremonies, and marriages between male crewmates was not uncommon, even having rules about sharing property and distrubution of goods among crew members with a married couple on-board. As well as the distribution of property following the death of a same-sex spouse.

While we know that brothels and prostitution has existed since Ancient Greece, in the 1700s, it was possible to find a Molly House. A house which featured male prostitutes who catered to male clients.

Women were not believed to have sex drives, so when two women loved each other, they were often called “bosom buddies”, and two women living together without a man in the house was called a Boston Marriage.

In the medieval era, it was believed that a woman’s womb was naturally cold and had to be kept warm with regular activity. If the woman was unmarried, the womb was to be kept warm by hand. But since using her own hands would be sinful, it often fell to the woman’s female servants to do the deed.

Men and women often existed in entirely disconnected social spheres. For a man, he would go to work where he would only work with men, after work he would go to a local bar or club that was exclusively for gentlemen, and following dinner, he would often retire to a private room in his home or another man’s home to sit, smoke, and talk with his male colleagues. Even within a single house, men would retire to the gentlemen’s lounge to smoke, while women would depart to the sewing room, tea room, or drawing room to have afternoon tea with the other ladies. As men would spend their entire days solely in the company of men, and the same for women, many men and women only spent time together in public spaces, during meals, and when going to bed. Even then, it was not uncommon to see households where the man and woman had separate bedchambers, and the woman would only sleep in the man’s bedroom when he desired sexual congress. Even the Palace of Versailles had separate chambers for the king and queen. This gave queer couples plenty of time to sneak around without anyone being the wiser.

This to Keep in Mind

One of the biggest issues behind the AIDS epidemic was the promiscuous nature of gay lovers in the 1970s. Because gay men had to be discreet, they would often have anonymous relations in public spaces like bathhouses and bars. This combination of unsafe sex practices and anonymous lovers caused STDs to run rampant through the community, and allowed the AIDS epidemic to have a devastating impact on the queer community.

In Victorian great houses, the footmen were effectively the “face” of the manor’s servants, so height and attractiveness was favored when hiring them. As such, footmen make for excellent romantic interests in a historical time period, since they’re required to be attractive to be hired.

The mafia has a long history of working with and supporting the LGBT community. In the 1920s, nightclubs in the black districts of Harlem would host drag balls, these events being known as Harlem Nights. The mafia helped these groups to meet without police interference for a kickback fee. Even the Stonewall Inn had Mafia protection. In a world where homosexuality is still seen as a sin, think about what groups are willing to turn a blind eye in the interest of profit.

Homosexuals were among those rounded up the Nazi Party during the Holocaust. Just as Jews were forced to wear the Star of David on their clothes, so too were homosexuals marked with a pink triangle. The Nazi Party also destroyed research on gender and sexuality, which destroyed a lot of evidence that had been gathered of queer existence up to that point in time. Today, the Pink Triangle is among the reclaimed symbols used by the queer community.

Queer people found ways to signal to one another. At different points in time, the visual cues have included wearing green ties, having a red carnation in their lapels, and in the 1970s, a bandana in the back pocket was a common way of indicating someone was a homosexual, and the color would even further indicate what they were looking for. Many modern slang words even started out as gay code words so that gay people could talk in public without drawing attention to themselves. Codes like “buns” for butt are still in use today, but got their start as codewords to keep gay conversations undercover.

While we often remember the Red Scare of the 1950s, we often don’t mention that there was also a Lavender Scare at the same time, which hunted down homosexuals just as the Red Scare hunted for communists. It was the belief that homosexuals would be more likely to undermine American policies or spread information to enemy nations, and thus had to be kept down.

Rich men often kept “actresses”, paying for apartments for them, paying for their food, drink, fun, costumes, and whatever else. If they really were an actress or otherwise a struggling entertainer, it was not unheard of for the wealthy benefactor to pay to get the actress roles, pay for tutors and lessons, or even buying them an entire theater. It’s not so hard to believe that a wealthy gentleman could keep a male model, actor, or artist in good stead, especially because artists in particular flourished in periods where rich people would sponsor and commission artists to paint for them. And this can work for either type of story, as a husband or wife would be equally annoyed to learn that the Duke of Orleans is keeping a young actor on the south side.

Gif Sourcing:

1. Bridgerton (2020 - present) 2. Game of Thrones (2011-2019) 3. Mary, Queen of Scots (2018) 4. Downton Abbey (2010-2015) 5. Victoria (2016) 6. Cloud Atlas (2012) 7. A Place to Call Home (2013-2018) 8. Mary Shelley (2017) 9. Brokeback Mountain (2005)

[pedroscurls]

Third Time’s A Charm (Part 4).

Character(s): Frankie “Catfish” Morales, Reader (female, second person POV) Summary: Frankie and his wife, Victoria, have a conversation before he leaves for Colombia. Afterwards, you have the guys over for dinner before they leave for their mission. Word Count: 3,707 Author's Note: I hope you are all enjoying this story! Frankie’s wife now has a name and some backstory / preview of their relationship. Also, all the feedback I’m receiving really means a lot to me, so thank you for taking the time to read this. This story is very, very close to my heart for plenty of reasons... And also bc Frankie Morales has my heart🥹 Warning: None.

Frankie was packing a small duffel bag when Victoria entered the bedroom. She was leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched him.

“So, Colombia?” She asked.

Frankie glanced over at her and nodded, zipping up his bag. “I’m gonna spend the night at Santiago’s. We’re leaving tomorrow morning.” 

Victoria sighed, walking over to him. When she rested a hand gently on his back, though, Frankie felt conflicted. He glanced down at her and bit the inside of his cheek. He did care about her, so much, but he couldn’t help his mind drifting to you. He knew how wrong it was, and while he hadn’t physically cheated on his wife, he did believe that there was such a thing as emotional cheating. And Frankie had definitely cheated on his wife in that instance.

“You going to be okay?” She asked, gently running her fingertips along his back. 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Francisco,” Victoria sighed. 

“It’s just a boy’s trip, Vic.” Frankie lied, turning to face her. He grabbed his bag and draped it over his shoulder. “Just a week and I’ll be back.”

“I’ll miss you.”

Frankie bit his lower lip. He hated how his marriage was always hot and cold, never somewhere in the middle. When shit hit the fan and things became rocky, Victoria wanted nothing to do with him, but when he was fine, sober, and clear-minded, his marriage with her was amazing. But when the times were rough, Frankie felt the most alone, the most miserable. He knew that she didn’t mean to act like he was a burden, always bothered by him when he wasn’t feeling well because after all, not many people understood that post-traumatic stress disorder was a real thing. So, Frankie couldn’t even blame Victoria. 

“I’ll be back before you know it,” Frankie said, flashing a small smile. “If you need anything, just call me, okay?” 

She nodded. “I was thinking, when you get back,” Victoria said, following Frankie out of their bedroom and towards the front door. “Maybe we can go to couple’s therapy?” 

Frankie tightened his jaw and gripped the handle of his duffel bag. “Why?” 

“We have…” She sighed. “A lot to work on and I want this to work, for us to grow together.” 

“But we’re fine.”

“We’re not, Frankie.”

“We are.”

“Jesus, Frankie! You were fucking using cocaine. How is that fine?” 

Frankie sighed. “I’m two months sober.” 

“I know.” Victoria sighed, looking up at him. “Just– I think it’d be good for us, talk about our problems with someone else who can help.”

Frankie looked down at her and didn’t know what to say. He didn’t believe that going to couple’s therapy would even work; he also didn’t want to subject himself to the idea that the therapy sessions will just be an attack on him and his own issues. 

“Victoria,” he sighed. “I really don’t want to go to couple’s therapy.”

She shook her head and took a step away from him. “Then how are we supposed to get through this?” 

“Through what? I’m doing the best that I can. Isn’t that enough?” Frankie sighed, his grip on the handle of his duffel bag tightening even further. He was getting frustrated, but not only at Victoria, but also at himself. All he wanted to do was leave, go to Santiago’s, and then have dinner at your place. That was supposed to be the plan for tonight before he and the guys leave for Colombia tomorrow, and while he was excited to see you again, all he could feel was the heaviness wearing on his shoulders. 

“Francisco, your license was suspended. Do you not realize how serious that is?” 

“Jesus, Vic!” Frankie raised his voice, which was very out of character for him. He felt the walls closing in on him, trapping him in a corner, and he was becoming more and more anxious and frustrated by the second. “I am doing my best,” he sighed, defeated. “I swear I am…” 

Victoria sighed, turning on her heel. She was tired of fighting, Frankie knew. “Have a safe trip, Francisco.” It was all she said before she turned the corner to the hallway, leaving him standing near the front door of their home. He felt a heaviness settle in his chest and he glanced around. This had been a loving home in the beginning, but now it brought him more pain. Coming home used to be something he looked forward to after a long day at work, being able to just unwind and relax, but as time progressed, it had become more and more of a place he didn’t want to stay for too long. Being home had brought him so much loneliness, despite having Victoria there. 

Frankie was struggling, but he meant what he said: he was trying, but some days were just tougher than others. 

He was brought out of his thoughts when his phone rang. He took a deep breath and left his home, setting his bag in his truck as he looked at the caller ID, noticing that Santiago was calling him. 

Taking a deep breath, Frankie started his truck and answered the call. “I’m on the way, Pope.” 

“Great,” he said. “You mind if we pick up Redfly?” Santiago asked. 

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll see you in a bit.”

After hanging up, Frankie pulled out of the driveway and made his way to Santiago’s apartment. His mind drifted to so many places: to you, Victoria, this upcoming mission in Colombia… Frankie couldn’t stop thinking and when he finally pulled up to Santiago’s place, he made a mental note to do his best to just remain quiet. It was something that was normal for him anyway. Putting on his Standard Heating Oil hat, Frankie grabbed his bag and walked to the front door of Santiago’s place. 

—

“You good?” Santiago asked. 

Frankie nodded, making his way to Tom’s house. “Just thinking about Colombia,” he lied. “Been reading your plan, memorizing it, things like that. Just wanna make sure we get in and out of there without any issue.”

“Fish,” Santiago sighed. “We got this. We’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” Frankie replied. He glanced over at Santiago, noticing how the other man was staring intently at him. Santiago was Frankie’s best friend and it had been tough for him the past couple of years without Santiago in Florida. He knew that he was doing good work down in Colombia, trying his best to clean up the mess down there, but Frankie missed him, missed being able to just talk to someone. He had Tom, Will, and Benny, but his friendship with Santiago was different. They had known each other before their time in the military; they had more history and he was also the reason why Frankie met you. 

“What’s going on, Fish?” 

“Nothin’.” Frankie replied quickly. “Just thinking.”

“About her?” 

Frankie glanced over at Santiago. “About a lot of things.”

“And one of those things being her, right?” Santiago let out a quiet chuckle. “You know, we’re heading to her place for dinner. If I can see that something’s wrong, you know that she will too.” 

Frankie sighed. “It’s just Vic,” he replied. “She wants to go to couple’s therapy after Colombia.” 

Santiago cleared his throat. “Oh, what’d you say?” 

“Told her I don’t want to go. I don’t see a point in it.” Frankie admitted. “I just– I just feel like it’s gonna be all about what’s wrong with me…” 

Santiago sighed, “Have you talked to Tom about all of this?” 

Frankie shook his head. “He’s already got a lot on his plate, Pope.”

“And I know that you asking him for some advice won’t add more to it, Fish. You already know where I stand with you and your relationships,” Santiago replied. “You’re not happy, man.”

Frankie sighed. “I’m trying my hardest, Pope,” he pulled up to the driveway of Tom’s house and honked the horn, alerting the other man that they were here. He glanced over at Santiago and let out a quiet and shaky breath. “I just feel like whatever I do, it isn’t good enough for Victoria.” 

Santiago tightened his jaw and reached over to clasp a hand on Frankie’s shoulder. “If you’re not happy, Fish, then why are you with her?”

“I made a vow, Pope,” Frankie said. 

“Vows can be broken.”

“It isn’t that simple.”

Santiago was about to reply before both men turned their attention to Tom, who was coming out of his garage with a bag of his own. “Seems pretty simple to me, Frankie. I guess you have to ask yourself if staying with Vic is doing more damage than good…” Then, he climbed out of the truck to help Tom with his things. Strategically, Santiago allowed Tom to sit in the front with Frankie, knowing very well that Tom would notice that something was wrong with Frankie too. 

“Thanks for driving, Fish,” Tom said, climbing into the truck. 

“Yeah, it’s no problem, Redfly.” Frankie waited until both men were buckled in before making his way to your apartment. 

“Benny and Will are already there,” Tom added. “And they told me to tell you, Pope, to be nice.”

“What?” Santiago chuckled.

“She mentioned her cooking and how you–”

Santiago let out a loud laugh. “Okay, okay. I’ll give her a second chance.”

Tom chuckled. “What happened anyway?”

Frankie was happy to focus on driving, allowing Tom and Santiago to talk as Santiago told him about the story of you cooking dinner one time and not realizing that most of your ingredients were expired. Frankie remembered that night; it was when you were both still in a relationship and it brought him back to plenty of memories that he missed. 

Frankie’s mind had drifted as he continued to drive, not realizing that Tom was calling his name. When Tom reached out to gently touch Frankie’s shoulder, he flinched and turned to look at Tom once they were at a redlight.

“You okay, Frankie?” Tom asked.

“Fine,” he replied.

Tom glanced over his shoulder at Santiago who just shrugged. “Are you worried about Colombia? I read Pope’s plan plenty of times and–”

“When did you know that your marriage with Molly was over?” Frankie blurted. “That no matter how hard you tried, it just wasn’t enough.”

Tom furrowed a brow, taken aback by the sudden question. Molly was still a very sensitive subject, but he felt safe and comforted by the guys, so he didn’t mind talking to them about it. “I don’t know, Fish,” he replied honestly. “I tried until she served me divorce papers.” 

Frankie nodded, sighing quietly. “I’m tired,” he finally admitted. “I just– I don’t know what to do.”

Tom sighed to himself and looked down at his left hand. He missed Molly, still loved her, and he was still trying to make sense of it all. Behind closed doors, Tom was struggling, which he was sure that each of the other guys were too. Not only did he feel like he failed as a husband, but he felt like he was also failing his daughter, Tess. 

“Do you want my advice, Frankie?” Tom asked sincerely. 

Frankie nodded, finally pulling up at your apartment. He glanced at your front door, remembering the night you both shared last week and how you both had admitted you still loved each other. Frankie knew what he wanted, but it wasn’t that simple. 

“Yes,” Frankie replied. “Help me make sense of this.”

Santiago was listening, looking between both men from the back seat of the truck. He hated how his friends were in pain, struggling, and that he wasn’t even here for them. He had been in Colombia, too busy to even check in with Frankie, with Tom, Benny, and Will. Part of him felt guilty, but he just hoped that the payout of this mission would at least be the beginning of him making it up to them. 

Tom looked at Frankie, noticing how he was looking away. “Making the decision to end a marriage is never easy,” he started. “And while I wasn’t the one asking for a divorce, it still wasn’t easy to give Molly what she wanted, but I saw how being with me was hurting her and I–” Tom bit his lower lip. “I just wanted her happy, even if that meant that it wasn’t going to be with me.” 

Santiago reached out, resting a hand on Tom’s shoulder for moral support. Tom lifted the corner of his lips, nodding in the other man’s direction as a sign of appreciation. 

“You love so hard and so deep, Fish,” Tom added. “You’re not failing if you decide this relationship is no longer working. You deserve to be happy, and so does Victoria.”

Frankie sighed, glancing over at Santiago and then back at Tom. “It’s just gonna break her heart, Tom…” 

Tom sighed, “I know, Fish. Like I said, it isn’t easy, but it’s something you have to really think about.”

Frankie nodded and motioned towards your apartment, noticing how you were standing outside and waving excitedly. “Thanks, Tom. I appreciate it.” 

Tom nodded, reaching a hand out to squeeze Frankie’s shoulder before motioning towards your front door. “We should probably head over before she gets angry.”

Santiago smiled, “Yeah, probably a good idea.” 

Frankie let out a heavy breath and climbed out of the truck, following Tom and Santiago to your front door. He remained in the back, waiting his turn as you gave hugs to each man. When both Tom and Santiago entered your apartment and joined Will and Benny, Frankie was surprised when you took the initiative to shut the door, giving you both some alone time.

“Hi,” you said. 

“Hello, hermosa.”

You bit your lower lip and noticed how his shoulders were slightly slumped forward, his hands fidgety at his sides. There was something on Frankie’s mind, but instead of asking him what was wrong, you just tugged on his arm to pull him into a hug. Your arms snaked around his neck and Frankie moved his hands out of his pockets to wrap his arms around you. Almost immediately, Frankie buried his face against the side of your neck and let out a relieved breath. 

“You okay?” You asked quietly.

Frankie just nodded, holding you tighter. He didn’t have to say anything for you to know that something was wrong. You held him for a few seconds longer before pulling away, gently resting a hand on his chest. 

“You hungry?” 

Frankie nodded. “Starving.” 

“Come on then.” You led him back inside your apartment, both of you going your separate ways with Frankie meeting up with the rest of the guys in the dining room and you walking into the kitchen to finish cooking. 

—

After dinner, you and the rest of the guys were sitting at your dining table, sharing stories as laughter filled your home. This was nice, it felt like before, when you were still in a relationship with Frankie. It was comforting to know that you all could slip back into this friendship after all this time. 

“So, one week,” you said, sipping your glass of wine. “And you will all be back from Colombia.”

Will nodded. “One week,” he confirmed. “What will you do while we’re gone?” Will teased.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you sighed heavily. “I suppose just wait around for you all to get back.”

You all shared a laugh as you looked around the table. Each man had a special place in your heart in each of their own ways. This mission in Colombia sounded dangerous and despite knowing that each man sitting at your table was more than capable of handling themselves, you were still worried. There were so many things that could go wrong. 

Will noticed the sudden distant look in your eyes and reached over to rest a hand over yours. “We will be okay.” 

You sighed, looking up at him. To his right, Benny nodded in agreement. “We got each other,” Benny smiled. “And we’ll be back before you know it.”

Tom was sitting next to you and he gently reached over to rest a hand on your shoulder, leaning over to give you a gentle kiss on your temple. The gesture was out of endearment, a friendly kiss that was meant to give you comfort. “Will you check on Tess while I’m away?” 

You looked up at Tom. “Of course,” you replied. “I think she’ll be happy to know that you’re working with the guys again.” 

Tom let a small smile line his lips. “She’s growing too fast for my liking. Already a teenager.” 

You smiled. “Before you know it, she’s gonna be dating and–”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Please don’t. That’s my little girl,” he chuckled. “She isn’t dating until she’s old enough.”

“She’s sixteen, Tom.”

“Still too young.” 

You laughed, gently nudging him with your shoulder. “She’ll be in good hands while you’re away, don’t worry.” 

“Thank you,” he said with sincerity. 

You and Santiago shared a look and you let out a quiet sigh. “Be safe, Santi. I’m serious. That goes for all of you… Be safe.” 

“It’s like Will and Benny said, we have each other. We’ll be fine.” 

“I know,” you sighed. “I know you guys are more than capable of taking care of yourselves, but just– Come back home, okay?” 

You glanced between them, your eyes settling on Frankie who was sitting across from you. He nodded in your direction, his hands fidgeting with his beer bottle. He had been mostly quiet the entire evening, only chiming in with one or two word sentences. You wondered if he was worried about this mission to Colombia or if it was something else. 

Did admitting your love for each other cross a line? Oh, of course it did. The man is married and you had told him you still loved him.

“Thank you for dinner,” Frankie finally said. “It was great.” 

The rest of the guys added in their gratitude with Santiago teasing you a little extra that at least this meal was edible and so far, he didn’t feel any effects of the food. You rolled your eyes playfully before taking another look around the table. 

“I love you guys,” you said.

Will, Benny, Tom, and Santiago all smiled, standing from their seats to give you a hug. You let out a relieved breath and noticed how Frankie was still seated. He was staring at you, eyes soft and sad. 

The four men who had given you a hug exchanged a look and pointed towards your patio. “You mind if we have a smoke?” Santiago asked, hinting to the rest of the guys that they should give you and Frankie some space. 

“Sure, just be sure to close the door behind you.” 

Santiago nodded and followed Tom, Will, and Benny to your patio. Once the door shut, you looked over at Frankie and bit your lower lip. 

“Can I show you something?” You asked, breaking the silence.

Frankie nodded. “Sure.”

You stood from your chair and motioned towards the hallway to your bedroom. You started walking, hearing Frankie get up from his seat at the table and follow you towards your room. Once there, he watched you step inside to grab something from your closet. Frankie took this time to look around, noticing how neat and clean your room was and the plenty of books stacked on your desk in the corner. 

Then, he heard you let out a grunt as you tried to reach for the shoebox at the top shelf in your closet. He let out a chuckle, setting his beer down and walking over to you. He stood behind you, reaching over you to grab the shoebox that you were desperately trying to reach for. His body was hovering dangerously close to yours and your shampoo filled his senses. 

“Still need help reaching for things, I see,” he teased. 

You gently pushed him back, causing a grunt to escape Frankie’s lips. You turned around and looked up at him, grabbing the shoebox from him and feigning a pout. “You’re just conveniently tall and I’m… Well, I’m not.”

Frankie chuckled and took a step back, watching as you rummaged through the shoebox before you finally found what you were looking for. He noticed the polaroid in your hands and when you handed it to him, Frankie bit the inside of his cheek. 

It was a picture of you, him, and the rest of the guys, but it wasn’t an ordinary picture, though. In fact, it was the celebration that the guys threw for you when they all found out you had gotten accepted to your dream school in California. 

“You take that with you,” you said. 

“But–”

You shook your head. “If things get bad out there or if something goes wrong, you– you show this to the guys, okay?”

“Hermosa…” Frankie sighed. “It’s only one week and–”

“If it’s only a week, then it shouldn’t be a problem. Just promise me.”

“Okay,” he nodded. 

“That way, I’ll be with you guys while you’re all there in Colombia. If things–” you sighed, not wanting to think of the negative possibilities. “Just use that as a reminder that I’m waiting for you all back here, okay?” 

Frankie nodded. “Okay, hermosa.”

“And whatever’s on your mind,” you said, stepping up to him and reaching up to cup his cheek, “just know that it’ll all work out.”

Frankie shut his eyes and leaned against your touch, reaching up to rest a hand over yours. “How do you know?” he whispered.

You shrugged, running your thumb across his jawline and over his patchy beard. “I don’t,” you admitted. “But somehow, it always does in the end.” 

Frankie sighed quietly and turned his head to press his lips to the inside of your palm. He reveled in your touch, taking comfort in it. He knew that his focus needed to be on the mission in Colombia, but all he could think about was you. 

“One week,” you said quietly. “Just one week.” 

Frankie nodded against you. 

It was going to be one long week in Colombia. 

---

Part 5.

Taglist: @harriedandharassed

[killakalx]

OMG I have a beef with Tom Taylor that he doesn’t know about!

1. He blocked me on Twitter in 2021 and in 2023😭😭😭

2. How he wrote Constantine. He literally took all the stereotypes about bisexuals and combined them in Constantine even though John was one of the few good bisexual representations

3. How he wrote Nightwing. Instead of a cynical and intelligent hero, one of the most complex characters in the universe, his Nightwing became himbo.

4. His series is literally all empty moments. Dick talks about big things all the time, but he never faces any real problems with his choices. All his problems are solved for him, and he himself is a completely passive protagonist.

5. My main problem with his Nightwing is that he should be dead by now. If this is truly Dick's character, he has no sense of self-preservation or healthy cynicism (accepting a glass of water from his enemies or exposing himself to the president).

His planning is shortsighted (should have been killed by Gunhawk and Gunbunny's sniper shot) and not particularly intelligent (summoning Bruce to do his detective work for him), so how is he not dead yet?

6. How he constantly makes Clark insufferable just to make Bruce look better.

7. The way he writes Damian. He constantly makes him act like he's a fucking rabid and wild dog.

8. He has to artificially create conflict. Taylor would rather make Dick, the acrobat, afraid of heights than have actual proper conflict in the stories.

9. How he blocks every single person engaging in good faith criticism of him and pretends like it's all some murderous dick/starfire fan conspiracy. I think half of the fandom is blocked by him.

10. He can’t write my wife starfire for shit Personally, I don’t think Tom Taylor is trying to “ruin” Starfire. I think he (and many other DC Comics writers) don’t understand who she is a character. I think Starfire is a very hard character to write in general due to all the different interpretations of her.

11. His injustice run

12. How he writes my pookie Daredevil🙁 His Matt(AND Tony) feels so bland that you think that it’s not even Matt but some dude with the same name.

But if we thinking about his Nightwing as just a silly and unserious version of Dick, I have no problem with that. I myself spent a fair amount of money on his comics back in the day because I couldn't bring myself to read anything else for a long time. His writing is not bad but it’s not great either. It’s okay I think?

But anyway it’s just my opinion and I might be wrong😅

this is nice bc i basically listened to tidbits and summaries of his nightwing run. i didn’t get a real peek into his character outside of just what happened to him and what he did i guess

1. damn double whammy 😭

2. i know nothing of constantine but i know too much about bi stereotypes

3. i agree that he isn’t all that complex but i like himbo nightwing 🙁 i’m a simple girl i fear.

4. i do see this part though!! i’m not highly critical of plots most of the time but i do notice when it seems vague.

5. “he should be dead by now” alr damn 😔. but i see the issue. he’s been dumbed down and everyone else has to help him do things he should be capable of doing himself

6. this is out of my realm bc i don’t know much about clark’s character anyway. i do want to see more of him though, i’ve been meaning to watch a few of his movies. and NO it is definitely not bc i’m starting to think too much about fucking him !

7. this is also out of my realm bc i don’t know damian’s character. as you interact with me you’ll quickly learn that i only really care about my pookies

8. ok… what.

9. mmm he’s giving barb…

10. atp let me write starfire goddamn !

ok i get this!! gonna start saying bruno redondo’s my favorite nightwing since he’s the artist. ty for filling me in love :))

[ladyluscinia]

The thing about S14/S15 deancrit is like...

Ok, so as a deangirl I wholeheartedly believe Dean should have faced being wrong more, both because it would have made a better story and because it probably would have made Dean healthier and happier in the long run. Like Supernatural as it stands is not exactly great for him. The short term Dean suffering of one of his decisions blowing up in his face and a bunch of fighting with Sam/Cas/etc. would have been well worth actually addressing something like his abandonment issues that cause the deantransgressions in a way that would fundamentally matter. The writers contorting to make him "right" - or at least make any serious threat of consequences to his relationships or internal justifications fade away to preserve the status quo - effectively just denied a deeply traumatized character most opportunities for positive character growth. They boiled him in worse and worse dropped conflicts, and it sucks! *Holds up a pic of S1 Dean next to S14 Dean's Abraham moment* Look what they did to my boy! 😭

But at the same time, I can't really get - in the serious Dean character study sense - invested in the Jack arc / divorce arc as some kind of straw breaking the camel's back because, like, that ship sailed a long time ago.

Berens and Dabb's eleventh hour vague gesture toward nebulous "anger issues" isn't fixing Supernatural's insane protagonist syndrome, even before it fizzles back to status quo without delving into the underlying issues. There's nothing meaningfully indicating that this time Dean was particularly deserving of scorn / needed to face the music, other than the lack of following seasons to confirm intent to forget about this one. The main real drive to S14/S15 deancrit is that it was all up there in worst transgressions, and that's just because of escalation. It's the final season and they are pulling out their last cards to shock us for drama. Why not boil him to the point of trying to kill a kid twice??? (These fucking writers... 😤)

Like I don't think adding consequences to Supernatural would have made the divorce arc meaningfully better by coming down hard on Dean's relationship with Cas and Jack? I think adding consequences to Supernatural would have pushed back on Dean's destructive behavior years before Jack was even born, and inevitably eliminated the entire worsening deantransgression pattern (and the Jack-prompted divorce arc along with it). Too much has already been unrealistically swept under the rug at this point. Flipping the consequences switch only for S14/S15 would just be nonsensical.

I reject Dean would have chosen to be the worst version of himself, and recognize he only managed it somewhat because the authorgod was guiding him down all the right turns and constantly sweeping away anything that might make him question where he was going. S14/S15 is a little late to be getting mad at him for being so boiled, you know? Like what is expecting him to realize he should get out of the pot now going to do?

[thereisnolumos]

What annoys me about jk Rowling and how she writes slytherin: I feel like she goes back and fourth making slytherin house outcasts in the school to extremely evil villians. But doesn't commit to either because she needs conflict and to keep readers guessing. I don't know maybe there's something wrong with me that while reading the series the first time I kept getting annoyed that a group of people around my age was always depicted as the villians and the jockey Gryffindor house always kept winning. Like to fully love the book you had to have this black and white thinking of Gryffindor good slytherin bad. And you can't think that maybe slytherin are the way they are do to deeper meanings but never explore those meanings or resolve the issues. Like the school literally encourages putting these houses against each other with a manipulative point system that really doesn't help learning. We are suppose think this one house in the school is evil. Yet we continue to let the house exist, and do nothing to fix the problems. Just continue the generational trauma. Because you know wizard British traditions.

So… I completely lost this in the depth of the ask box… awkward 🥴

JKR is a bad writer who wouldn’t notice subtext and complexity of they hit her right on the face (among her other sins, but that’s a can of rotten worms for the entirely separate post)

She writes “all Slytherins are evil and Gryffindor is the most desirable option” in the words of an 11yo who never came to be any kind of smart, and one would assume, that it would be a plot line throughout the whole series to prove him wrong, to show that no House is inherently good or bad, and no House os better or worse than the other. But than she keeps backpedaling on this very simple plot point, showing that nope, he was right, Slytherin=Bad, Gryffindor=Good. Even with the woke Snape ordeal that she presented as the epitome of a redemption arc (it wasn’t) and bravery (is bravery in the room with us?), even there she backpedaled on the absolutely real possibility of showing “HERE! A GOOD SLYTHERIN! LOOK”, by writing Dumbledore lamenting over “sorting students too early”, implying that once again, Slytherins just can’t be good, and if Snape is good he must’ve been sorted wrongly. LIKE COME ON!!!

She even made it a point to write that all Slytherins came to Voldemort after evacuating form Hogwarts, except for Draco, which 1)Narratively wrong, we know that at least Crabbe and Gould remained in Hogwarts with Draco, and 2)Makes zero fucking sense! Seriously, ALL of them? Every single one? Not all of them even had parents being Death Eaters, if she wanted to write the lamest “everyone chose the same thing their parents did” point. The only reason we ever thought she was a good writer is because we were little and had zero critical thinking and she managed to create an appealing story despite being shitty at writing

Every good thing about the HP series happened in canon DESPITE all of JKR’s intentions and I absolutely love this paradox. Every single nuance that we love now as adults, all of the gray areas and characters, every possibility to broaden the lore and universe that we live in fandom is there despite her every single attempt to smother them and make everything strictly black and white one-dimensional boredom. The whole fandom is still so alive because we divorced her and took full custody over a child 👌🏼

[bbnibini]

(on anon bc I’m [a] chicken fr) but if you don’t mind me thought dumping here— I completely agree with your post (https://www.tumblr.com/bbnibini/741454154343514112/solomon-unrequited-unless-reassured-and?source=share ). Sol is definitely all of those things 😭 Elle and works-of-Elle you a real one for that. I just think it’s kinda funny how imo I personally do many of those things (besides the side character in own love story because that’s technically what I made myself be lol), and though I’m (unfortunately) down bad for this guy I feel like b/c of these similarities I wouldn’t be a good fit for him. ngl he would be happier with someone else and that’s all I want, for him to stop fucking suffering while alive, for him to get the security he deserves from someone who can give security so much better b/c they’re not insecure asf and don’t have a heap of mental issues that would need looking after…

Idk, just conflicting feelings :’)

(Also feel free to not respond to this lol. This turned out longer than I expected 😭)

Ify, ify. I get really nervous messaging and being messaged by people too. social anxiety aaaaa

Aww I can understand that! I don't think I can offer the best advice with romantic relationships since I don't really feel the need to be in romantic relationships(I prefer being single even if a romantic interest presents itself. Even if the romantic interest is someone I do love in a romantic way;;it's an ace thing it's hard to describe dsfjdskf) but I do get the feeling of wanting the people I love or care about to be happy.

Back when I was a little younger, I did feel something a bit similar(?). It's the whole detachment, the isolating feeling of Oh, I'm okay now, but I could not escape the fact that something was "wrong" with me before: because I had been "broken" and I had no choice but to piece myself together over the years, it looks poorly done. Chipped up. I can see the lines where the glue holds everything together. What if I fall apart? It's not your responsibility to fix me. I love you too much to see you go through what I went through.

One of my favourite translated books define it as the kind of love that is like "I love you but this has nothing to do with you." And for me is what that one Mitski song is.

I don't really think this fits exactly what you described. But I wish you the best, anon! And hey, you can ship yourself with any of the dateables you want! c: Solomon would surely find you lovely and wonderful! <3

[itsnothingofinterest]

Can I ask you about bnha in a more harsher sense? Like not only in the fandom but also IRL?

I honestly don't trust people who genuinely hate the lov in bnha. Especially the type of people that think they should die.

There are a lot of reasons I could give but I think one of the biggest ones is the complete lack of understanding of 'why' the villains exist like they do, and even if they do know why they don't care or have any sympathy for them.

They want a kind of merciless "justice" against the real victims of hero society (the villains, for reasons clearly layed out in the story, who no one in hero society cared about until the point when it became their problem), because "innocent people" and "heroes" were hurt and killed (the civilians in MHA who, to go about their ordinary day, wouldn't look twice at a bloody suffering child) and (people who completely of there own free will sign up for the hero job and can apparently just quit and walk away even in a time of crisis, rich, popular and who '''suprisingly''' don't want anything to change unless it's a change for their benefit, 'heroes are people too!' seriously??)

They're the kind of people that only see labels, villains bad, heroes good, innocent people = innocent (👉in reality innocent but not good). And never question let alone accept why, and then want death and judgement even though it it won't accomplish anything (not even stop the deaths since the issues that made the lov are still there)

People like that are the same kind that are on the wrong side of every issue, even when admitting there is a problem unwilling to do what's necessary to fix it and still judging. That's how I feel and I wanted to ask you if you felt the same way? How do you feel about them? And everything I said above, if it's okay to ask?

I totally get what you mean.

It seems to me that some readers & viewers just don’t want to think to much about this series and see it simply as black & white as possible. As though the “Heroes” and “Villains” are exactly as described and should be treated exactly as morally monochromatic as those words imply (never mind how those words are normally just abbreviations of “Pro Heroes” & “The League of Villains”; the respective sides’ faction names); ergo it is morally unquestionable to defeat said villains by any means necessary and never question anything in the process involved, especially the villains’ origin or the consequences to follow those means.

Feels like they’re too used to the “I was wronged but now I will stab this extra to prove I’m irredeemable and wrong”-type villain. The League are not like that. Shigaraki in particular is never wrong.

But they don’t care. Even in my most charitable read possible for those particular fans; they’re here watching a Shonen to turn their brains off so moral complexity makes them weirdly mad. (Never mind the uncharitable reads.) And that gets them saying sketchy and at times scary stuff about how the victims of society need to die or go to jail forever because they didn’t suffer silently until they died, and instead disrupted the ‘sacred’ status quo. Any other fate is “the worst possible ending”. Ugh. It kind of reminds me of that one Tumblr post about how one guy likes the moral simplicity of Hollywood military vs alien conflicts; only for another guy to point out how weird it is to say there’s nothing wrong in the army killing invaders like they’re sub-human when all those terms are too easily applied to minorities.

Except I’m quite confident MHA is not trying to be that kind of propaganda; these guys are just bad at literary analysis and don’t know what this series is saying about its villains and their victimhood.

And of course no thought is given as to how to prevent other kids from growing up in the League’s situations, thus looping back to where we are now and rendering all the heroes’ efforts inevitably moot. As long as they get a cool climactic fight where Deku beats the big bad, they get what they want out of this series.

What? That just proves Shigaraki ultimately right? Again? ...Eh whatever. Cool fight, that’s what matters.

[mobscene-launceston]

BASIC INFORMATION:

NAME: Jay Sung. AGE: 43. PLACE OF BIRTH: Launceston, Massachusetts, United States. AFFILIATION: The Emerson Saints. OCCUPATION: Leader FACE CLAIM: Gong Yoo. AVAILABILITY: OPEN.

(Warning: Brief references to racism/police brutality.)

Talk of the French had always provoked disagreement amongst the Emerson Saints.

The deeply divisive and oftentimes violent kind...

From the inception of their now defunct representative system, Jay Sung had been Emerson’s spokesperson. Each of the three voted on issues of importance, and whichever decision received a majority was the direction they proceeded in. Without fail, and whenever the topic of a French Organization contract was brought to the table, however, Jay vehemently voted against any and all compliance; this, regardless of whether it reflected the views of those he was representing.

It got to the point where the others expected nothing less.

“They slaughtered us like we were animals, and now they want us to do the grunt work so they can keep their hands clean? No. Fuck that. I won’t be a part of it, and neither would any real Saint.”

People sympathised with his position, because none of them really wanted to be puppets for the French. No amount of discontent on their part could magic up another option, though. It was either do as they were told and be absorbed by the superior force, or head back to a war that they had barely survived the first time around. And nobody wanted that.

Launceston’s population of Koreans—the new immigrants, in particular—always seemed to be on the receiving end of the city’s mistreatment. Jay’s father told him it’d been that way even when he’d been growing up in Brenton. They’d eventually chosen to congregate around north Anderson Island, instead, and the borough’s elite viewed them as little more than a cancerous fucking growth they hadn’t figured out how to remove. The judgements of those who sat on golden thrones was a world away from the very real oppression they had to deal with on their own doorsteps, though.

Police brutality—oftentimes directed toward immigrants who weren’t doing anything wrong, purely because of the way they looked—wasn’t nearly as bad as the racially-motivated hate crimes waged against them by Krick’s African-American gangs. Both had ultimately resulted in the formation of the Emerson Saints. For decades, their communities had been terrorised by outsiders, until eventually, a group of twenty-six (of which Jay had been a part) decided that it was time to stand up and fight.

In March of 2000, their gang was formed.

In June of 2000, the French took notice.

Jay had barely been twenty years old when the Organization decided to violently remind them that those who contemplated an uprising in St. Clair territory would be dealt with. Mercilessly. And it was precisely that—the things he’d seen, the way they’d attacked, and the friends that’d been taken from him in the process—which the younger Saints would never understand. They would remember talk from around the neighbourhood, or brutal stories shared in hushed whispers…but they’d never seen all the blood. Bathed their hands in it.

And they talked over him with their ignorant majorities? It made him sick.

By the time the French Organization presented the option for a truce in 2005—tired of wasting men on a battle that seemingly couldn’t be won—all but four of the original Saints had been killed in the fighting. None were imprisoned for their unspeakable actions against their enemies, nor had they deserted out of fear. They were simply massacred and left to rot in the streets like animals, all for the crime of defending themselves. Whilst, as was the case with any war, their conflict increased the rate of recruitment exponentially, the losses were astounding. Both in terms of statistics, and personal pain.

Jay had witnessed the death of two of his best friends. Had lost his non-violent girlfriend during a revenge attack against him. A Commandant had been burned alive in very public fashion for the latter, and he’d do it again in a heartbeat…

But it still didn’t bring them back.

A channel of communication eventually opened up between the two sides, but Jay refused to have any part of the discussion, in spite of the fact many of the Saints still looked to him as an unofficial leader. The anger was too fresh. The pride and the pain too great. War had been brutal, of course, but he still would’ve preferred to die fighting them than to live on his knees.

Unfortunately for him, not all of the Saints agreed.

The French had promised to end their attacks, and as an added bonus, offered to push the African-American gangs fighting their other front out of Krick. Understandably, Jay had been hesitant in accepting that they’d be willing to offer them anything but slaughter. It might’ve been an attempt at a ‘good faith’ gesture, but it also came with stipulations, because everything with them always fucking did. The drugs they sold? French, with a portion of the profits handed back to them. The guns they used? French, imported in an attempt to dent the income of the Russians and their weapons smuggling ring. Perhaps worst of all, though, were the contracts. The remaining Saints—especially the younger ones—had been more than happy to kill and maim on behalf of their enemies given the paycheque offered for the work.

Jay wasn’t one of them.

They didn’t fucking owe them any favours.

It went on for years, his frustration growing each day, but eventually he reached his breaking point.

The French were arrogant, egotistical fucks. They always had been. Given that they were supposed to be engaged in a truce, however, Jay thought they might’ve exercised a little restraint. Very clearly, one of the Commandants had taken a liking to the Representative of Saint’s Way, Euna, and very clearly, said feelings were not reciprocated. Jay had been there when she’d turned him down, but the coward had waited until she was alone to beat the shit out of her for the disrespect. She’d called Youngbae, barely intelligible as she choked on her own blood.  

It was a miracle she’d survived.

The Commandant was not so lucky.

As he watched Seung-hyun carve their gang’s name into the Frenchman’s chest, Youngbae holding down his writhing fucking body, Jay knew that this would be the end of the Emerson Saints as they knew it. The French would not take the murder of a Commandant lightly; especially not one found in the sorry state they left him.

The outrage was damn near immediate. Those who had become accustomed to doing the French Organization’s bidding—and had profited from it quite nicely—were livid that the ‘disproportionate’ actions of a few had taken away their choice to work for them at all. Even those who had never liked the affiliation seemed concerned about what this would mean for them in the long-run. Wondered whether they would have to run from Launceston entirely. Jay had expected that this would result in another war with the French, but he hadn’t expected it to tear the gang in two.

To his horror, many of the younger members turned on the remaining Saints for the promise of French protection, and guaranteed work with the Organization.

The war wasn’t spilling French blood in the street, it was spilling their own.

Eventually, the remaining Saints, now headed up solely by Jay—the epitome of a ruthless wartime leader—scarpered to Ainsburg in an attempt to recover from the assault. They didn’t know who they could trust. Didn’t know who would turn on them at any moment for a bigger paycheque from the French. Jay had never been the type to trust easily, but aside from the few he now designated his inner circle, despite many giving up their home—and oftentimes, friends and family—to follow the Saints, the paranoia was almost crippling. He barely confided in anybody about his plans. Barely left his home for anywhere but Yongseo...

Until the Russians came knocking.

The last thing he wanted was for them to get involved with another powerful mob. Jay half expected the woman to tell them they were settling in too close to Russian territory, and to get the fuck out before they made them. To his surprise, though, they seemingly came in peace. Ainsburg had never been their territory. In fact, it belonged to the Irish, and that was precisely the problem. The Russians despised the Irish almost as much as they did the French, but hadn’t the manpower to fight the O’Reillys as well as everybody else. All the Saints had to do was keep the Irish busy and distracted from any attempts on Brenton, and the Vorshevskys were willing to arm them with all the resources they needed.

Not only to take Ainsburg as their home, but continue the fight against the French, too.

They weren’t required to answer to the Russians, nor were they required to have any dealings in their business. They weren’t forced to do anything. If they wanted to say no, then the Russians would leave them alone to fend for themselves…but both sides knew that wasn’t an option.

Not really.

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” she’d said.

Whilst he isn’t sure he’d go so far as to call the Russians friends, Jay knows that if they have any hope of surviving all that’s happened, they don’t really have a choice.

An eerily familiar scenario that he can only pray ends differently this time around…

SOCIAL CONNECTIONS:

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Alexandra Lee (ex-girlfriend, deceased) FAMILY: None. CONNECTIONS:

Jun Jae-sun: Best friend. For a while, he'd doubted him. Of the few remaining founders, JJ was the only one who hadn't opposed their former arrangement with the French. Jay knew he had his reasons, but it still caused massive issues between them for many years. When it came down to it, though, the French or the Saints, JJ hadn't hesitated to follow his family into Ainsburg. Reliving the war is hard for him due to his own massive losses, but Jay has never respected him more, and is determined for his pain not to have been in vain.

Sin Seung-hyun: Old friend. About the craziest mother fucker they have. Jay loves him for it. The French always regarded him as a loose cannon, and wanted little to do with him when they were working under them. After what happened to Euna, however, Jay knows he'd be hard pressed to find someone who hates the French more than him. As such, Seung-hyun remains one of the few he's fully confident would never betray them.

Lee Euna: Good friend. They're all a little bit protective of Euna, and were long before the French Commandant almost beat her to death. Jay is no different. The woman is a kinder soul than most in the Saints, and only ever strived for peace when she sought diplomacy with the French. Of all the Saints they brutalised over the years, she deserved it least. There's no way in hell he'll ever let one of them lay a hand on her again.

Kim Youngbae: Good friend. Along with JJ, Seung-hyun, Euna and Seo-jun, he is the last Jay considers to be a part of his inner circle. Whether or not he trusts the man's girlfriend, on the other hand, is another question entirely. Youngbae has been nothing but loyal to the Saints over the years, and is massively respected amongst the other members for the contributions he's made. Jay sees him no differently; particularly because many of his loved ones were those who defected to the French. Leaving them behind was difficult, but Jay makes sure he knows that his sacrifices are appreciated.

Kim Saera: Former friend. Traitor. Regardless of their former friendship, and regardless of being Youngbae's sister, if he sees her, he'll kill her on sight.

Inna Volkova: Acquaintance. They meet rarely these days, but she was the one who first approached him three years ago with the offer from the Russians. The enemy of his enemy. Jay isn't sure he trusts her, but right now, he doesn't really need to. As long as she keeps up her end of the bargain, things will remain civil.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Ragnok's backstory is actually revealed in one side quest where we rescue a student's uncle. He says that when Ragnok was young he came across an illegal dragon camp, and he was impressed with the dragons. He wanted to join the wizards there, and when one of them dropped their wand he saw his chance to give it back to him. But seeing the goblin with his wand angered the wizard and they attacked him. That's why he hates wizards. Also, haven't saw the whole story yet, but there is a goblin character that is on our side, we help him get a goblin helmet for him so he can gain Ragnok's trust. He says he doesn't fully agree with him

You mean Ranrok, right? I'm pretty sure Ragnok is a Goblin from the original books. Either way, that's definitely interesting.

Honestly, that story is a tragedy and it only serves to remind me who the real villains of this conflict are, and it sure as well isn't the Goblins. This is an almost textbook misunderstanding, fueled by bigotry and archaic institutions, that create a situation where Ranrok was just being polite but was immediately treated as a criminal. If one of the other Wizards had picked up the wand to return it, no one would have batted an eye. But nobody trusts Goblins and it's literally illegal for them to carry wands. (Or at least it is 100 years later, but I bet that law is already in place during HPHL.) That's one of the most blatantly racist details about the wizarding community that no one else ever seems to notice. They hold other creatures accountable to their laws, which obviously favor them and exclude said creatures. They have official designations to determine what counts as a "being." Honest to god, it's no wonder the Goblins fucking hate us. Humans really are trash sometimes.

I've gotten way off topic. Everything I've seen of Ranrok makes it difficult to sympathize with him or believe that the game is trying, but I have to admit that this backstory does help. In before Tumblr adopts Ranrok from Rowling and tweaks his character with the proper head-canons. Up to and including fanfics where he's the hero. Wouldn't be the first time we've woke-ified a problematic aspect of the potterverse...(I expect the same thing to happen to Sirona, by the way.)

Glad to hear that not all of the Goblins are depicted as villainous. That's a genuinely good thing, and I also appreciate that he doesn't "fully" agree with Ranrok versus just thinking he's flat out wrong. This does help, a little, but...to be frank, the issues with Ranrok's depiction go right down to the roots and can't really be solved by just including other Goblin characters. Because the Goblins are, deliberately or not (and it's looking more deliberate with each passing day) a caricature of Jewish people. So depicting them as the villains is already difficult to come back from. But, the way they do it is just so...typical.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. The villain of the story actually makes some very good points. They believe themself to be a hero, fighting injustice. Realistically, they're not wrong about anything they say. The only problem is that they're an extremist. By all rights, they could have been a good guy if they weren't causing so much damage in the name of their cause. So the heroes still have to stop them and uphold the status quo. They express disgust with the villain and the story suggests they have become as evil as what they were originally fighting. After the heroes win, they acknowledge how the villain may have had a point, actually....and proceed to do nothing about the injustices the villain brought up.

It's such a classic way of vilifying people who stand up against corruption and speak truth to power. People who take a stand and refuse to tolerate oppression, exactly like what the Goblins are doing. But oh, they're killing people and doing evil things. See? If you rise up against the institution, you're the bad guy. And in this case, villifying an extremist like Ranrock goes hand in hand with this game's antisemitic subtext. He didn't have to be the villain, he shouldn't be the villain. Because the Goblins, for so, so many reasons...should not be the ones we consider the villains of their conflict.

[damazcuz]

people should't have to read and write darkfic about bad things happening just for you to see them as "real fans" so who are you to decide that i dont actually love something just because i love it different from you? you seriously sound like a freak with that post, so just guessing you justify reading rape/pedo fic too.

You feel victimized by the suggestion that you don't actually enjoy something that you pick apart to bones and smash to dust and glue back together and call the same. You think you have to defend your right to do so against me, (you don't; please learn to do things that others dislike with grace and in peace) and you were hurt when you read my post and deliberately misinterpreted it, and the easiest thing to do in that state is to lash out with accusations that will make me stop talking and walk back what I said and reinstate you in the right. Saying "actually people shouldn't have to read dark fiction and you must be a pedophile" isn't the most logical leap but it's the most likely to make the other side (me) upset and hurt, and either I'll shut up and go away or I'll flounder to defend myself and look foolish in the process; either way you can feel vindicated in knowing that you shut down some miserable little jester who said that coffeeshop au writers don't hold the same love for fiction as writers of traumaporn fic, or whatever my post was.

I really don't care if you enjoy and create and consume lighthearted romcom soulmates no-conflict AU derivative fiction and art. It doesn't hurt me when you make that. I can say "ugh I don't want to look at this" and scroll past it. You are free to make things that I don't like, and I am free to make things that you don't like, and we'll both be happier if we make those things. And we can both look away from each other's things that make us unhappy. This is healthy and normal.

The thing is, I'm not talking about "darkfic" or whatever. I also wasn't talking about fan works that take a lighthearted low stakes no conflict romcom and turn it into something scary. (Not that I think there's anything wrong with this, either.) Reread my post; I'm talking about original works where canon has conflict and issues and yes even dark plot points sometimes, and people enter the space of that work and say they love it and want to participate in its fandom and want to play and have fun, but then turn their nose up at every piece that makes up the story. It's shallow. It feels disrespectful.

What do you like about the original work? What about it is actually good in your eyes? Do you only listen to that podcast because there's a gay relationship? Do you only read books to blorbofy the scrunkliest meow meow? Do you only watch film so that you can look at gifsets? Do you only consume bitter in hopes of spitting out sweetness? Do you only partake in the act of creation out of some misguided desire to like the things that others like? Do you participate just to say "I participated, unfortunately?" That sounds incredibly joyless to me. I can't imagine engaging with works that I don't like and that don't interest me and forcing myself to be involved in them and peeling them layer by layer until I find what I can scavenge, and then building the world's tiniest, least recognizable monument to nothing. That's so miserable.

Strongly advise that you engage in something that makes you happy instead of whatever this is. Feel better.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves (19x10)

Oyyyy vey. I have some spicy thoughts.

Cons:

I sound so heartless saying this but Natalia's death didn't really move me the way the episode wanted it to. I think the quiet grief of her husband was pretty effective, but part of the problem is that her characterization was so... inspiration-porn-y? Like, she's this young woman dying of cancer who is supernaturally positive and full of manic-pixie-like wonder and enthusiasm for the world. I don't know anybody like that. I would have liked to see her get angry or mad. See her be a real person struggling with her sickness in some real way. That would have made the death hit much harder for me.

Also if you've read any of my prior Grey's reviews you know how much Teddy and Owen annoy me, so on the one hand I feel like I should be happy that they had a mature conversation about the conflict between them and got back into a good place, but on the other hand I don't trust it and these two are so poisonous to each other that nothing about their marriage feels satisfying or worthy of protecting. So there's that. I guess maybe now Owen will stop being so whiny, now that he has his medical license back and is Chief of Trauma once more?

I also felt just vaguely impatient and annoyed about Lucas rebounding with some random girl and Simone being jealous about it. Feels like a tepid shadow of real love triangle drama. Not that I'm craving love triangle drama in specific, I'm just feeling ennui about this development. I'm contradicting myself from last week, but I almost want Simone's shitty fiancé to be more involved, because that drama felt juicier, if still annoying.

Pros:

I liked the cancer sisters and that whole bit. A good comedic plot thread that was also touching on I think a very real issue. Basically the sister who doesn't have cancer resents being put in a position where she's being told how to process it before it's even happening to her. This felt very real for me, and part of a culture of positivity that is overall probably a good thing but does have some downsides that people should look out for. The cat litter thing was hilarious.

I also like Schmitt and Jo being good buddies. Schmitt's whole thing about how it's annoying when charming and beautiful people act like social interactions will be no big deal really cracked me up. And then he went for it with hot nurse Carlos and he got a date! I'm still sad that Schmitt and Nico's relationship had such an unceremonious ending on the show, but I'm down to see where things go from here for Levi!

I almost never put anything about Catherine Fox in the "pros" sections of my reviews because I don't like her as a character, but actually this week I enjoyed that she was staying focused on her surgery but also didn't play games and deny it when Richard said "I know something's wrong and I'm ready to hear about it." I liked the story of the patient with the penis that needed to be operated on, and how he didn't want to tell his wife, but the wife knew the whole time. There's something there about how honesty is important, but there can be innate understandings specific to certain relationships that go beyond that.

Also, despite being a little meh about Simone and Lucas's plot thread this week, I still overall like the interns. I like the vibes of them, I like things like Blue fainting in the OR, and Lucas being pissed about it, and everyone giving him a hard time. Them all living in that house together is warming my heart in a way I wouldn't have expected.

I also liked Maggie and Amelia, how they had a moment to connect. Maggie has been staying with Amelia because of the conflict with Winston, but she feels she's overstayed her welcome because Meredith was the one that bridged the relationship between the two of them. Amelia affirms that they still look out for each other, even though Meredith has moved away.

And that's about it. Teddy and Owen are annoying and the big sad dramatic death didn't really get to me. I'm a hater sometimes, what can I say. Still, there's plenty to like!

7.5/10

[ac-liveblogs]

I at least think that in 3.2 we're gonna 'solve racism' in a really basic way by beating up the three sages who are, in HYV's fantasy land, the three dudes holding together the entirety of Sumeru's racism.

(In real life, discrimination is obviously more complicated than that. Hell, even in game it's clearly more complicated than that because the sages racism trickled down to the ordinary scholar. But this is the team that gave us Heizou with no complex thought so hopes are low.)

Course, this is gonna expose all the dumbassery HYV tried to pull with 'war and conflict is bad' when we inevitably go to war with the sages like the eremites planned to do, but it's okay when we do it because we're polite! and not brown religious extremists (nice look HYV. Real nice look.)

After that, all they'd have to do is show more brown people being npc and pc scholars (I personally think Dehya and Cyno would be good picks, considering how it'd pay off their stories) to imply that the physical and metaphorical wall had broken down.

Honestly I'm just surprised it's THIS bad, considering Cyno was actually really good imo. (IM DEFINITELY READING TOO FAR IN THOUGH LOL)

He's a cop who genuinely believed in what he was doing and can be considered as 'having made it' because he was a desert person in a 'high ranking position'. Then this cop 1. learns his duty isn't to do justice, but to enforce the sages hierarchy. 2. That they never trusted him and effectively put a nanny cam on him (which can be symbolically compared to a collar).

His position as a doer of violence also ultimately fits into the sage's hierarchy, where desert folk can't be scholars, and are only fit for brutish, violent jobs like mercenaries (and cops) so even his high ranking position is inherently lesser in their culture. Additionally, this position forces him to distance himself from his own community.

Then you add the theme of dehumanisation with how everyone talks about him like he's some dangerous animal (because he's scary and brown) along with how he resists this classification with his terrible jokes. Even his hat adds to this with how it 1. is initially a desert folk hat, thereby serving simultaneously as proof the sages thought of him as other AND as a connection with his people. and 2. marks him as a fake animal, someone made inhuman and violent by their job.

But then the rest of the quest is just. Like that. Which is why I'm pretty sure I'm just reading in too hard. Where's the guy who wrote Itto? I want him back.

Haha, yeah I wouldn't expect much more than that. I wonder if Cyno will ever formally go back to the Akademiya, or if he's just going to stand ominously in the corner tapping his foot whenever dubious shit starts happening. I hope at least the 3 Sages are removed and the leaks about the "corrupting influence (the Fatui) infected them" won't mean they get to stay in power.

But that said, the Akademiya doesn't have a godwaifu that would be negatively impacted by the sages getting torn apart since Nahida is their victim, not their boss, so I think we'll get to sidestep a lot of the issues we got in Inazuma. We can't think EI did a bad, but 3 random old dudes, literally who cares etc etc etc.

(We've already gotten "Rukkhadevata did nothing wrong!" with her dealings with the Scarlet King, after all).

Course, this is gonna expose all the dumbassery HYV tried to pull with 'war and conflict is bad' when we inevitably go to war with the sages like the eremites planned to do, but it's okay when we do it because we're polite! and not brown religious extremists (nice look HYV. Real nice look.)

I am probably not the person to be talking to about colourism and HYV's handling of it, but I do wonder how meaningfully different this is to the way Narukami vs Watatsumi was handled in Kokomi's quest. We definitely had some ~Stupid ~Extremists in Watatsumi that almost ruined everything (the original basis of the conflict being the Raiden/Orobashi divide), and the Right Answer was Kokomi sitting down with Sara to talk things out ~diplomatically. It's not a good look from HYV here, but it's definitely not new ground beyond more unfortunate aesthetics this time around.

Not that it was any good the first time, but at least they're consistent about it(?) God damn, I hate the "bad rebels did rebellion badly, we the civilised shall TALK THINGS OUT" trope. Though I do wonder how much baggage HYV as a CN company is saddled with, there.

I also wonder how much diplomacy there'll be this time... maybe we'll beat up Scaramouche and the Sages will be scared of us/acknowledge Nahida is cool actually and do whatever we want. And then everything will be fine once Nahida is in power?

I think Genshin is pretty much almost always going to go "the Archons did nothing wrong!!!!!!!" and god forbid how bad anyone else looks because of it. This paired with HYV's unfortunate though hopefully subconscious biases is coming off really badly in Sumeru. We can only pray they don't also apply this standard to the Tsaritsa, and... I guess that it is applied in Natlan? ugh...

I think re; Cyno... there's an interesting narrative around him atm but we'll have to see how that plays out in Act V when we finally meet the Sages. I do think that HYV won't acknowledge most of what they've laid down and depending on how delicate their writing is (lol Inazuma) and how much of it was actual intentional commentary vs "we just didn't think about it lol" it might be for the best that they don't. Guess we'll see.

Speaking of Cyno's headdress and wolf-like partial transformation, while I think that's just meant to invoke Anubis/"Judgment"/"Guardian of the Scales" imagery than it is meant to be dehumanising, I would maybe like some more information about it??? what's with that??? hello???? wolf man transformation? WHY??

[argentumcor]

Paracausal Refit Future

This series has lived in my head for a long time, ideas bouncing about, but I wanted to badly to keep it to canon that I put a lot of them on the backburner. (Oooh, that's numerous mixed metaphors, I'm almost proud.)

I find, generally, canon is more a gift than a restriction. Writers, especially pros, who complain about it are pussies and/or egotists. Art needs limits and discipline, because otherwise it gets out of hand...and the artist might be tempted to even greater self-indulgence than he or she already endures by nature of being an artist.

However, Destiny just...I don't know, since Stasis was introduced as a power Guardians could get, kind of going in directions I found I didn't like. The underpinnings of the Light and Darkness conflict, as well as the interesting ideas involved in how paracausality worked, were being abandoned. (Knowing what I do of the development and watching the writing, I think there was a lot of philosophical conflict in the writers' room for this game, applying to both the overarching story and characters). I'd say Plunder was the real start of the true downward swing, though. Just a lot of wasted potential, from Spider's heel-face turn to the lackluster fight between Eramis and Mithrax to the effing Nezcafe, just slapped together. Others have gone at length upon the issues with Lightfall's story, I have nothing of note to add there.

It all feels so perfunctory. It feels like these epic, interesting, fun setups and just no...funds or time or interest or skill to finish them off properly.

Seraph so transparently existed only to tie up Rasputin's loose ends. As well as the loss of the potential of a mortal Exo Rasputin, what else is there for Ana to do? She's just some other Hunter with a tech interest as far as the story cares with Rasputin utterly gone. I don't like her, but people do, and she is there, but what is she left to do? Live a life out of one of those boring modern Marvel comics? (The answer, I am 99% certain, is yes.)

Someone must have lobbied to tie up Asher's long-dangling plot thread and promised it would be done in as cheap a way as possible. There was an exotic mission with some fun stuff, but we didn't learn anything much, and then Asher- the fighter against all odds, the man so irritated that he refuses to die- just offs himself because the odds look hopeless. We don't even learn anything about the Veil, Osiris did that with no connection to that questline at all. (I know they could bring him back, but that thing with Ikora and Mithrax felt final).

I think Savathun is going to really die at the end of this season as part of Eris' plan, which will wrap that up and waste a brilliant character.

I am sure The Final Shape will be fun. I'm not sure it will be a satisfying story. Going to the Cayde memberberries well makes me very apprehensive. There's interesting potential there, for sure, but I doubt it will be properly explored.

This is a very long way of saying I'm not really satisfied with the way canon has been handled. Dissatisfied to the extent that I feel driven to do something about it, which isn't often. I'm dissatisfied with the lack of a follow-up to Dredd (2012), but am not driven to write a sequel. I found The Mandalorian Season 3 deeply dissatisfying, but I have no desire to try to fix it in fic.

I find myself driven to tackle Destiny's story in Paracausal Refit, in much the same way I was driven to write an admittedly very strange (and long, how did that happen) work following up on Cyberpunk 2077. I should use the time and ideas for my own work- I've got a novel to write and more in the mental queue- but I will add this to the mix anyway, and not scrub the serial numbers off. There's a sense of writing it being the right thing to do, a sort of righting of a creative wrong, while Orpehus After the Fall was, hm, a commentary that needed to be made.

It's so far from purely that, I enjoy writing and I enjoy having fun with the characters and worlds, but the motive is not just that. It's not to get off, either, literally (I will never write a sex scene; among other things, it would be badly written) or in an ego sense.

I have some ideas to organize, I guess.