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addledmongoose · 9 months

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Best of 2023 Good Omens Fanfiction

This is my list of the 20 best Good Omens fanfiction works I've read in 2023.

A few notes:

These are all complete works; there are no WIPs in the list.

Please feel free to let me know if a link stops working

It's not an ordered list. That would be far too difficult.

You'll probably recognize some of the most popular ones. They're popular for a reason, after all, but I hope you find something you haven't yet read.

The majority are full-length works, but there are definitely some shorter pieces.

These are certainly not the only good works I've read, but they are the ones I'm most likely to read more than once

Click the Keep Reading to see the list

If you're the author of one of these, first off, thank you! But second, if you want me to add your tumblr name to your story, let me know, and I'll edit.

This first section, all the stories are canon-compliant or canon-adjacent. In other words, it's at least somewhat set in the Good Omens universe.

a lighthouse (burning) (108K; Rated M)

This one is canon-adjacent and set in the 19th century. Aziraphale goes to a lighthouse to figure out where all the lighthouse keepers disappeared to, and Crowley follows along. This one is a bit of a spooky mystery along with the romance, and the writing style is simply beautiful. You really get a sense of being trapped in this lighthouse in the middle of nowhere.

***

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It (79K; Rated E)

It's honestly hard to remember that this one isn't human AU, but they're still just as angelic/demonic as ever. Aziraphale joins Grindr and starts texting (and then sexting) with a charming young man. It's no secret to the reader who this new hookup is. This story is genuinely funny at times. I like the funny ones.

***

The Whole Damned World Seemed Upside Down (103K; Rated M)

This is one of the best reverse omens stories I've read that isn't technically a reverse omens. Crowley wishes things were different after leaving the bookshop, and the universe gives him his wish. He finds himself in a world where Aziraphale hates him, Death has trouble taking lives, and basically everything you knew about the world of Good Omens is upside down. It's very funny. It uses inline footnotes (which is good, because it has a LOT of footnotes), and Death is hilarious.

***

it's a new craze (5K; Rated T)

Another one that seems like it should be human AU but isn't. Crowley and Aziraphale start up a podcast after the Notpocalypse and gain a loyal fanbase who can't figure out if they're a couple or not. They often forget who their audience is and often reference events in their shared history that make no sense to the humans listening.

***

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a demon in possession of a mobile phone, must be in want of attention (6K; Rated G)

And yes, that is the entire title. Another funny short story where a couple of podcast hosts receive a call from a certain angel whose demon trapped himself in his phone and won't leave.

***

In Mixed Company, or the Corporate Retreat of Heaven and Hell (52K; Rated M)

I've read this one at least three times, and it's probably my favorite of all. Every 300 years, Heaven and Hell share a company retreat on Earth during which angels and demons surrender their celestial powers and hold retreats. It has a great new angel friend of Aziraphale's; Hellish Powerpoint presentations; Gabriel being annoyingly chipper; and Aziraphale and Crowley sneaking around like teenagers trying to find some alone time.

***

How To Woo A Demon (24K; Rated T)

Aziraphale researches demonic courtship rituals and starts implementing them in order to convince Crowley he wants to take their relationship to the next level. Crowley is very confused by Aziraphale's actions. Another cute, funny one.

***

Factory Settings (107K; Rated T)

This one is famous for coming out practically as S2 dropped, making people think whoever wrote it (the author is anonymous) had something to do with the production of the show.

This is the only one I'm going to say anything negative about. There are a lot of spelling errors and typos in it. It needs a hard editing pass. Despite that complaint, I devoured this story as fast as I could scroll. It's that good, and even knowing all the errors are there, I'll probably still re-read it. I'm usually pretty picky about errors like that, so for me to overlook it and even recommend it, means I really liked it.

Crowley gets reinstated as the angel, Raphael, with no memory of his time as Crowley, and Aziraphale struggles to return him to his demonic self. It's heart-breaking and wonderful and I absolutely loved it.

***

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) (17K: Rated E)

Much like In Mixed Company, Heaven and Hell come together for a corporate retreat on Earth. In this one, some totally random demon who's name definitely doesn't rhyme with Bowley created a wager in Hell to see which demon could bed an angel first.

Another funny one. This time, a lot of the humor comes from the demons doing their best to pick up the angels with really bad pickup lines.

***

We Only Said Goodbye with Words, I Died A Hundred Times (9K; Rated E)

If I could learn to write even half as good as this, I'd be ecstatic. The emotions the author packs into this story are mind-blowing.

Crowley receives a cursed amulet that creates an ever-increasing need for the person he wants the most and goes to see Aziraphale.

***

To reveal my heart in ink (29K; Rated E)

Aziraphale starts writing letters to Crowley by mail. The letters they exchange slowly get more and more explicit.

***

Pray For Us, Icarus (66K; Rated G/T)

The author wrote this one as a series, so each one varies in chapter count and rating, but they tell a single, contiguous story.

This was the first long-form GO fanfiction I read, and it was way too close to the ending of S2. I really should've waited a while, because holy cow, is this one heartbreaking.

For three hundred years, Crowley has been reincarnated over and over as a human with no memory of his past. Aziraphale has spent those three hundred years trying to restore him to his true self.

The author, Atalan, is probably one of the best writers on the site. This story is stunning in the quality of its writing, in the pacing of the story, and in the emotions evoked. I normally don't like being sad (like I said, I like the funny ones), but I've saved this story off to make sure I always have it.

***

Pretend For Me (53K; Rated E)

In a panic, Aziraphale tells the archangels that he survived hellfire due to his soul mixing with Crowley's because they're in a romantic and sexual relationship, but now they want them to prove it.

I'm a sucker for fake relationship stories, and there aren't a whole lot of them where the characters are still angel/demon, but this one is. It's another fun one, though a bit more angsty than some of those I listed above.

***

The following are all human AU. Good chance you'll recognize all or most of these.

Married At First Sight (147K; Rated T)

One of the most recently completed stories in the list, this is a fake relationship story where Aziraphale and Crowley join a reality show that marries complete strangers off to each other. Their new marriage starts off on a less than idyllic foot and they decide to fake it for the show. The author is a master of making you want to scream "for fuck's sake, just talk to each other, you walnuts!"

Probably one of my favorite fake relationship stories.

***

Postcards From Paris (12K; Rated G)

The author, ghostrat (@mrghostrat), is a fantastic writer of human AU, and it's worth going through his entire backlist (and read his current WIPs, too).

Crowley moves into his Mayfair flat and starts receiving postcards addressed to the previous tenant from one A.Z.F., who is in Europe hunting for bizarre bibles and rating wine. Sweet and fluffy and the perfect antidote if you've just been on an angst binge.

***

Or Be Nice (151K; Rated E)

I stayed up until 6:30 in the morning reading this one, crashed for three hours, then read until I finished it. Then that night, I started it again.

This is, without hesitation, my all-time favorite human AU. It's funny. I love the author's version of the characters, and I will probably end up reading it again in just a few months. I probably already would have if it wasn't for the length of my Mark For Later and Subscription lists.

Crowley and Aziraphale are neighbors who get into a noise war. They both have their reasons for their actions, though to be honest, Crowley is a bit of an ass at first. Once they really start talking, though, they are absolutely wonderful together.

Even if you've never read a human AU, I recommend at least giving this one a try.

***

What We Make Of It (Shotgun Wedding) (213K; Rated E)

This is the third charlottemadison work on this list. 15% of this list is just this one author. That's how good they are.

Aziraphale works as an English teacher. Crowley is the guardian for his nephew, Adam, and works for a school testing company. Crowley can't risk his job dating his nephew's gorgeous and charming teacher. Unless...

Crowley comes up with a crazy plan. Now he just has to convince Aziraphale to go along with it.

Again, another very popular human AU. One thing I love about this story is how there's a lot less angst between the two characters, and how they both really care for Adam.

***

Slow Show (95K; Rated E)

The very first human AU I read. Didn't even think I'd like that specific genre until I read it. Now, as you can see, it's about half of my reading list.

This is an actor AU. Aziraphale (named Avery here) and Crowley are actors working together on a new show. Avery is an award-winning, straight-laced, well-respected actor; Crowley is a mess who immediately falls head-over-heels for him and somehow has to get through the show without letting his (apparently straight) costar realize that.

***

South Downs (76K; Rated E)

Another actor AU. This time, Aziraphale is an openly-gay actor, well-respected for his period drama work. Crowley is a once-blackballed actor who jumps at the chance to star in a gay Regency romance with Aziraphale in the hopes it can restart his career. The trouble is, Crowley is struggling to play the romantic lead opposite a man.

I love the growing friendship between these two as much as the romance. I love how comfortable and confident Aziraphale is here; and how caring he is toward Crowley's growing awareness of his sexuality.

***

This one doesn't really fit either category, so I'm putting it here.

The Rose and the Serpent (56K; Rated M)

By the same author as Pray For Us, Icarus comes a GO retelling of Beauty and the Beast. Aziraphale is sent off by his older brother, Gabriel, into the forest to be held hostage by a giant snake in a cursed castle. Turns out, neither the snake nor the castle are what he was expecting.

Light-hearted and with very memorable characters, the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale is simply stunning. I love how Newt and Anathema are used here. The quality of this one is as good as Icarus, and I loved this one so much I could easily have read 300K more words.

***

And bonus: mine!

The Beginning of the End (Again) (79K; Rated M)

The first fanfiction I've ever written and the first book I've written in a decade. I had the first two chapters in mind after finishing S2, and the story grew from there. I actually have a sequel in mind after I finish another, separate fake relationship story.

Crowley spends months drowning his sorrows after Aziraphale accepts the Supreme Archangel position, until a group of demons shows up one day and tells him the Second Coming is nearly upon them, and they want him to stop it. Turns out being a demon isn't much fun if there are no humans left to tempt.

Aziraphale has spent these last months in Heaven looking for ways to stop the Second Coming while mourning the way he and Crowley left things. After discovering that Hell's minions have been tasked by the Metatron to escort the son of God on a tour of Earth in preparation for his Second Coming, he hurries down to see what's going on, fearing the worst.

Instead he discovers Crowley escorting the Messiah around Earth. Is his demon taking the son of God on dates?

#good omens fanfiction

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fuckyeahgoodomens · 8 months

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The Good Omens Season 2 Soundtrack! 😍❤🎵

The Soundtrack CD has wonderful cover and pics and look at the brilliant booklet! :D When you open it it looks like a box with a fly! :D

Options :):

(best to use the local store of course :), the Silva Screen page is thewebpage of the recording company)

CD:

Silva Screen 15.99 €

Amazon.co.uk £10.99

Amazon.com $30.79

Vinyl:

Silva Screen 39.99 €

Amazon.com $53.99

Digital:

Silva Screen 10.99 €

More digital listening options :) (some free)

Episode description and Track Listing :):

CHAPTER 1: THE ARRIVAL - Retired angel Aziraphale and retired demon Crowley's lives are upended when a visitor arrives on the doorstep of Aziraphale's bookshop, bringing chaos. Local shopkeepers Maggie and Nina get locked in to Nina's coffee shop when Crowley loses his temper. Heaven and Hell are suspicious, and Crowley and Aziraphale have a disagreement.

1. Before the Beginning 2. Good Omens 2 Opening Title 3. Into Soho 4. Something Terrible 5. To The Bookshop 6. Maggie and Nina 7. He’s Smoking 8. Tiny Miracle 9. Heavenly Alarm Bells

CHAPTER 2: THE CLUE featuring the minisode A COMPANION TO OWLS - Heaven and Hell are determined to find the missing angel. An overheard song provides Aziraphale with a Clue. Crowley and Aziraphale visit the pub to discuss ways that humans fall in love. While almost 5,000 years ago Crowley is sent to inflict punishments on the righteous Job, God's favourite person, as Aziraphale learns at first hand about temptation, and what Gabriel will and won't believe.

10. Avaunt! 11. The Song is the Clue 12. It’s What God Wants 13. A Mighty Wind 14. Whales 15. Gabriel Returns 16. His New Children 17. Am I Awful Now? 18. Fallen Angel

CHAPTER 3: I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING featuring the minisode THE RESURRECTIONISTS - Heaven sends the angel Muriel in disguise to spy on Aziraphale and Crowley. Aziraphale drives to Edinburgh in pursuit of his Clue, and learns a little about a lot. The couple's visit to Edinburgh in 1827 involves graverobbery, a statue and an unfortunate encounter with a vial of laudanum. In the present, Crowley is in charge of the bookshop, and is disappointed by human beings and the weather.

19. Police Arrive 20. Scotland 21. We’re Going to Hell 22. People Get a Choice 23. My Car is Not Yellow 24. Beelzebub in Hell 25. The Book 26. The Fly 27. Mr. Dalrymple 28. We Need to Cut 29. I’m Going to Save Her 30. Crowley Goes Large 31. Not Kind 32. Beelzebub Isn’t Happy

CHAPTER 4: THE HITCHHIKER featuring the minisode NAZI ZOMBIE FLESHEATERS - Aziraphale's good deed of picking up a hitchhiker on his way back to Soho proves to be a serious mistake. In 1941 Crowley and Aziraphale encounter some surprising adversaries, old and new, as the Nazi spies who almost entrapped Aziraphale return as zombies from the dead, intent on preventing him from attempting a bullet catch on the West End stage.

33. Hell-O 34. Nazi Zombies 35. March of the Nazi Zombies 36. Crowley Pep Talk 37. The Magic Shop 38. Catch The Bullet 39. Zombies in the Dressing Room

CHAPTER 5: THE BALL - Aziraphale tries to bring Maggie and Nina together by organising a meeting of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association. In Hell, Shax is determined to launch a full scale attack on the bookshop, with a legion of demons at her command. Nina's heart is broken, as is a bookshop window. Gabriel has a close encounter with Mrs Sandwich and a small plate of cakes.

40. I’ll Let You Have It 41. We’re Storming a Book Shop 42. Monsieur Azirophale 43. The Candelabra 44. Here Comes Hell 45. Gabriel Gives Himself Up 46. Shax 47. The Circle

CHAPTER 6: EVERY DAY - Crowley becomes a Heavenly bee and learns the truth about the Armageddon sequel. Aziraphale defends his bookshop from Shax's army and reveals his halo, Maggie and Nina become warriors, and Jim the assistant bookseller gets some hot chocolate. Crowley and Aziraphale get to the bottom of the mystery of the Matchbox. The Metatron brings an oat milk latte, along with a final offer.

48. Bin Through the Window 49. Gabriel Leaving Heaven 50. The Halo 51. Gabriel Revealed 52. Gabriel’s Love Story 53. Leaving The Bookshop 54. Gabriel and Beelzebub 55. Crowley and Muriel 56. I Forgive You 57. Don’t Bother 58. The Biggest Decision 59. The End?

The vinyl should look like this :) (damn, it gorgeous toooo! :D):

#good omens #s2 soundtrack #s2 ost #s2 music #david g arnold #masterposts #s2 soundtrack masterpost #WAHOO

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goodomensblog · 1 year

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For almost the entirety of Good Omens s2, Crowley says yes to Aziraphale (often with bickering and a show of reluctance, but still).

Off the top of my head, a non-comprehensive list:

Lets Aziraphale drive the Bentley

Helps harbor Gabriel, wanted by Heaven and Hell

Babysits Gabriel and watches the bookshop

Dances!!

Follows Aziraphale around while he plans the neighborhood meeting ball

Shows up the SECOND Aziraphale calls (plus the comment about Aziraphale only calling when he needs something, wants to talk about something he’s proud of, or he’s bored)

Helps to set Maggie and Nina up

Sneaks into Heaven

Aziraphale has come to rely on Crowley. He says that Crowley likes saving him — and he clearly does — but I think he’s also come to expect that, at the end of they day, Crowley will show up for him when asked. However, at the end of the second season, we have a shift. Aziraphale has a plan — he’s going to fix Heaven, and he asks Crowley to help him do it.

And Crowley says no.

Because of course he does! This is the one thing that Crowley cannot do. This is so much more than Aziraphale asking for a dance, or to borrow his car, or even for Crowley to risk his existence solving an angelic mystery. In asking Crowley to return to heaven, to once more become an angel, Aziraphale has asked Crowley to change a fundamental part of himself, to be something that he is not.

This is a necessary and pivotal character moment for each of them. It’s important for Crowley, because he’s realized what he’s not willing to compromise on. And you can see that it breaks his heart to do it. He loves Aziraphale. And now Aziraphale indisputably knows it too, but Crowley will not become something he’s not — even for him. And Aziraphale? I think he’s begun what will be a season’s worth of learning: that Crowley has limits, and Crowley needs to be shown up for in the same way that Crowley’s been showing up for Aziraphale all these years. They both clearly love one another, but things have not been balanced between them. Do I wish that this was a lesson that could have been had mid-season and resolved by the final episode so that we weren’t left with that last gut wrenching ten minutes before an indeterminate wait for season 3? YES. However, I can also see how this development could absolutely need a full season to bring it to fruition.

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings 😭

#spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens season two #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #go season 2 #Aziraphale #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses

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indigovigilance · 1 year

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Maggie is Possessed

This is my second meta! My first one is here.

I’m not the first fan to be suspicious of Maggie but I’m going to argue why she might be possessed (and I hypothesize that specifically she is possessed by an angel), rather than being eldritch herself, and will propose some reasons why the hitchhiker might be doing this.

First, a quick list of her early observable behaviors:

She cannot spell urgency

She signs “very faithfully yours”

She refuses to drink alcohol

Golden angel-wing earrings, anyone?

Have you seen those clothes?

All of those things are angelic, but why possession, specifically? Evidence is presented in order of chronology and not necessarily how strong it is, below the cut:

First: The timeline is weird. She’s eight months behind on rent, and suddenly decides she needs to speak to Mr. Fell “on a matter of some ugrency” and insists she can be out by next week. It’s inconsistent behavior that could indicate that a new decision-maker has taken over. First-point-five, she calls Aziraphale an angel: does she know?

Second: re-watch the first coffee shop scene, S2E1 at 13:20. Yes yes, it reads like a cute lesbian flirtation scene. That’s the cowrie shell. Pick it up. There’s a caraway seed underneath. When she arrives at the coffee shop for the first time, Maggie’s confused “ah, yes, coffee” might not be the flustered redirect you thought it was, but rather indicating that whoever is riding around in that body doesn’t actually know how a coffee shop works. But Nina (to Hitchhiker!Maggie’s relief) remembers her order. So Human!Maggie has been here before, in fact, Nina calls her a regular, to which Hitchhiker!Maggie says “oh right, yes, I’m that.” Not sus at all, sister.

Third: During the “herbal tea” exchange, Maggie says to Nina that “I didn’t go to parties” and she was “not that sort of teenager.” On it’s face it reads like she was a goody-two-shoes human teenager, but consider for a moment that whoever is speaking right now was never human; the statement isn’t a lie, but its very misleading. Who else do we know that does that?

Fourth: During the lock-in, Maggie tells the story of how her great grandmother’s store was in a corner of Mr. Fell’s bookshop, so he lets them stay on for old time’s sake. One possible interpretation of this phrasing is that Hitchhiker!Maggie knows that Aziraphale has owned that shop continuously for at least 100 years. Nina is the one that suggests that it was actually Aziraphale’s grandfather, and Maggie nods along.

Fifth: Maggie says it’s a “coincidence” that the power goes in and out when Crowley passes by; could read as a deliberate redirect from someone who actually knows that Crowley is a demon? But more on that later.

Sixth: I’m skipping a lot of intervening content BUT at the ball, during the dance, she says “this is just what we do, isn’t it?” to which Nina emphatically replies that no, it isn’t. So even though Nina has been effected by an emotion-suppressing aura, she hasn’t lost her memory of how society generally works in 2023, but somehow Maggie isn’t up to date. This is parallel to Point #2, not knowing how to order coffee.

Seventh: Aziraphale’s attempted miracle memory wipe doesn’t work on her. I’ve seen others suggest that it’s due to a miracle blocker but all of his other miracles work, so…

Eighth: Nina calls her “angel.” You thought it was cute. It’s not. It’s a double-bluff. She’s actually an angel.

Ninth: She tells Crowley that “we’re real people.” Okay, human police officer Inspector Constable, whatever you say.

The rest of this is wild speculation. Abandon hope all ye who read below the fold.

So of course this raises the question: why are is the hitchhiker here, and what was Human!Maggie’s motivation to give them permission to hitchhike?

I’ll start with Human!Maggie’s motivation. I believe that she is not just pretendy-good but a properly good person who feels a lot of anguish about her failing business, one that’s been in the family for 100 years, and guilt for not paying her rent. I think she prayed for help, and a “guardian angel” answered her prayers, and she gave that angel permission to possess her and fix the problem.

As for why the angel answered her prayers, I propose that the Metatron sent them to fuck around with Aziraphale. My evidence is that Maggie frequently meddles to Aziraphale’s detriment. In chronological order:

She puts him in a moral choice position: if he evicts her, he’s the bad guy. If he forgives her rent, he’s done something good. Both of these can be leveraged by the Metatron. Notably, after he forgives the rent, Maggie calls him an angel, perhaps to remind him whose side he’s really on *wink wink nudge nudge.*

She confides in her landlord about her crush on the business owner across the street, who’s already in a relationship?! How ridiculously inappropriate?? Maggie??!! But she does, and plants the idea in his head about love, which ultimately becomes the runaway train that makes him extremely vulnerable later.

She refuses to leave the shop during the attack (S2E5), I propose is for purposes of fucking over Aziraphale, as evidenced by…

For this part, I need you to go back and watch it. S2E6 at 3:28. During the pissing contest at the threshold, Maggie turns her head away, there is a sound effect, and that’s when she turns back to Shax and invites the demons in. Hitchhiker!Maggie has taken over and rolled out the carpet for the enemy invasion.

Maggie is the instigator of the “you have to talk about your feelings” conversation, dragging Nina from behind the counter across the street while she has a shop full of customers. Considering that the Metatron is at that very moment at the French restaurant next door, making a job offer to Aziraphale, the timing choice seems very suspect. Almost as if they coordinated to talk to each husband while they were separated.

So, it is possible that Hitchhiker!Maggie was sent by the Metatron as a spy and a saboteur to meddle with Aziraphale. To what end, specifically? Probably to get him to break up with Crowley and/or get him to return to Heaven, but ultimately, I just don’t know. I will admit that I don’t have a very strong conviction that this will become canon, but it was fun to write and I hope that it was fun to read! Leave a note if you enjoyed it!

edit: a link to another meta about why this was such an effective strategy against the husbands

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #maggie #ivoc

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foolishlovers · 7 months

Note

Hi! I love your recs so much! Thank you for all the work you put into them! I hope it is okay to request my own? I would love to see a list of your favorite humorous explicit fics starring our ineffable idiots. I prefer non AUs, but if you have an absolute masterpiece, I'll take it no matter what!

Only if you want to, of course! Thank you, again!!

hey, that's so sweet, thank you so much!! 💜

of course, here are some of my favourite non AU humorous explicit good omens fics: [you can request more fic recs here.]

i made an excuse (you found another way) by orphan_account (1k) “Angel, the restaurant’s right there.” It was. Crowley gestured to it with a definitive arm wave. The Ritz was at the corner of Piccadilly and Arlington, and they could see the hotel facade as they stepped out of the park. “We can walk there.” “Let’s drive.”

Booty Call by emmagrant01 (2k) “It’s called a ‘butt dial,’ Angel. A ‘booty call’ is something else.”

The Angel Line by FancyTrinkets (2k) The one in which Aziraphale purchases and listens to a pornographic audiobook that just so happens to be narrated by Crowley. Aziraphale cringed and covered his face. This was going to be awful, and also thrilling, and he wasn't sure what he ought to be feeling about it, but there was a definite sense of vicarious shame.

Just a Taste by summerofspock (3k) See, it wasn’t so much the eating. It was the noises. It was the indecent look on Aziraphale’s face. It was the way he licked his fingers and wiggled in his seat. Every little action felt specially created to undo Crowley. And Aziraphale had no idea.

The Rake by CopperBeech (3k) During the long estrangement of the 1800's, Aziraphale practiced a secret hobby – and it wasn’t the gavotte. Crowley finds out in an unexpected way.

For a Good Time, Call by seashadows (3k) Three rings. Four. Seven, and then “Hello?” “Hello, sssssweetheart,” Crowley said. “How would you like my long, slithery tongue up your tight little –“ Then it hit him: he knew that voice. Dear. Fucking. Satan. (Sometime in the depths of the 1990s, Hell tasks Crowley with spreading lust. As usual, he makes as little effort as he can, but gets a heaven of a lot more than he bargained for.)

The One in Which Crowley Discovers Wanking by for_autumn_i_am (5k) It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin.

Fine Dining by iamshame (13k) "There was something else I was going to ask you," Aziraphale continued, unabashed. "Ah… How to put it?" He tapped his hand on his thigh for a moment, and then apparently found inspiration. "Ah! When you're…" Crowley made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and Aziraphale gave him another outrageous wink. "Dining out… What cutlery do you prefer to use?" "I'm sorry?" Crowley said pleasantly, trying his best not to cause anything in the dining room to catch aflame in his frustration. Aziraphale gave him a reproachful stare, as if Crowley were being very stupid. "When you're eating, Crowley. Do you favour the… The knife?" Aziraphale actually glanced conspicuously at his own crotch, and Crowley considered leaving the dining room via the nearest window. "Or the spoon?" Another raised eyebrow. "Or even, let's say, a fork?" "What the fuck is the fork in this situation?" Crowley hissed through gritted teeth. Aziraphale mentions that he'd like to have sex with Crowley. Crowley is completely taken-aback, and very conflicted, and very interested. Aziraphale is also trying to kill him by using elaborate food metaphors to explain the whole subject, which is not helping in the slightest.

Trial & error by fellshish (15k) The Metatron brings in the demon Crowley to stand trial in Heaven. For tempting an angel. Uhhhh. Awkward.

Feast by Ashfae, mostlyjustgoose (15k) Crowley's spent the whole of lockdown asleep. Aziraphale has spent the whole of lockdown baking, cooking, and becoming increasingly frustrated with his solitude. Which eventually leads him to the perfect way to solve all his problems at once… Or, Aziraphale attempts to seduce Crowley with a truly excellent meal, and Crowley is amenable.

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan (17k) "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?" Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval. "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening." AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

Ideal Partner by summerofspock (17k) “Would you like to explain why you’re watching pornography? In your bookshop? During business hours?” Aziraphale flaps his hand, typically dismissive of any criticisms of his abysmal business practices. “Did you know I’ve been on this earth for nearly 6 millennia and have never engaged in intercourse before?” Crowley grinds his teeth and feels his cheeks heat. What is he supposed to say to that?

Anything for Science by Magnolia822 (20k) Aziraphale decides he wants to make an Effort, so he watches a lot of porn for science. And when he asks for help with more hands-on experimentation, Crowley is only more than happy to oblige.

The Loophole, or, How to Convince a Demon God Exists in Three Easy Steps by fellshish (24k) Ah, yes. Being an Archangel is going splendidly. Aziraphale accidentally erases God from the Book of Life.

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (32k)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan

Okay, fine.

Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him.

He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It by indieninja92 (79k) After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale ventures into a new space in the gay milieu - Grindr. There he starts talking to a charming young man who certainly doesn't bear any resemblance at all to a certain long streak of demon, not one bit, no thank you. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley navigate their friendship after the world failed to end. There is much drinking and silliness, but could it be that there are other feelings lurking underneath?? Of course there are, this is fanfic.

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

#seriously fic rec requests are always welcome!!#good omens #good omens fic rec #good omens fanfiction #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #aziracrow fanfic #crowley x aziraphale #foolish recs #go fic masterpost

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raz-writes-the-thing · 11 months

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Demon's Blood

Aziraphale x Crowley x Fem!Vampire!Reader - 18+ ONLY

Summary: Part two to Angel's Blood. You've tried Aziraphale. It's high time you tried Crowley, too.

CW: blood, bloodplay, knifeplay (only a smidge and it's barely play), wrist cutting (for snack purposes), choking, p in v, fingering, dom/sub dynamics, Dom!Crowley, Switch!Aziraphale, degradation.

Requests are: open and encouraged

Gomens tag list: @coffee-and-red-lipstick @quickslvxrr (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

Vamp!Reader tag list: @purplefrog1sblog (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

You’re not sure, but you think they may have planned this, not by starving you, of course- or removing your food sources, but, by just… waiting for the right moment to strike.

And it would be a blatant lie if you had said that you hadn’t been thinking about the way you ground an orgasm out on Aziraphale’s thigh while drinking down his blood (it would also be a lie to say Aziraphale and Crowley hadn’t been thinking about the same with regularity) more often than you should. Thinking about it late at night when you couldn’t sleep (not that you needed to sleep at all, of course) you’d gotten yourself off to the thought of it more than once. A lot more than once if you were completely honest with yourself.

Since you’d fed from Aziraphale, your relationship with the Angel and Demon had changed quite a lot. Gone were the days of quiet platonic contemplation in each others’ presence. Now there were days of stolen kisses, picnics in the park, and theatre shows. Days of mind-blowing sex, too. That was also now a regular occurrence- and one you were not going to complain about any time soon and neither were they, just quietly.

You hadn’t fed from him since, as you hadn’t really needed to. That was changing, though. You were beginning to grow hungry again, beginning to feel your cells fizzling and dying. At least this time you were in the early stages of hunger and not leaving it until the brink of desperation to actually do something about it.

Your partners had also clearly started to notice the way your eyes would dilate at the scent of blood. The little sharp gasps you’d make when someone would get a papercut across the street, or when someone scraped their knee. You would never feed from someone innocent, you all knew that. But it didn’t change the visceral reaction you had to the smell either.

Tonight, however, blood was the last thing you had on your mind. Sure, the need was always lingering under the surface, waiting for you to snap and feed to your undead heart's content- but it was also extremely hard to focus when you were laying on top of Aziraphale with his cock rubbing up against the crack of your ass and his thick, warm fingers prying your legs up and apart.

Aziraphale was peppering kisses all over your neck, whispering sweet nothings as his grip tightened on the meat of your thighs. Crowley was currently in the midst of burying his fingers as deep into your cunt as he possibly could. In and out, twisting and stretching your hole without mercy.

You’re doing your best not to snap your hips up off the bed, and Aziraphale is whispering sweet and filthy praise into your ears as a reward. When his tongue rakes up the shell of your ear you whine loudly.

“What’s the matter, Pet?” Crowley asks, slinking over you to nip at your jaw. “This not enough for you?”

Your face screws up with pleasure as Aziraphale grinds his heavy cock against the small of your spine. You know he’s loving this, the little shit. Aziraphale, you had figured out- liked the teasing. He loved to make himself wait, to get just enough pleasure to keep him going before being able to truly let go.

“Mm- please?” You ask, forcing your eyes to open and focus on the Demon currently paying deft attention to your nipples with his forked tongue.

“Actually, dear-” Aziraphale pipes up softly, giving your thighs a yank when he notices that they’re starting to slip closed again. “We rather thought we might try something new tonight.”

Crowley’s brow arches deviously. “If you’re interested, of course,” the Demon says innocently, forcing himself to quit tonguing your nipple.

“What did you- oh- have in mind?” You ask, jumping when Crowley gives your nipple a harsh pinch just for the fun of it.

The Demon’s lips curl into a knowing grin. A grin you’ve come to know quite well over the last few centuries, although not something you’re entirely familiar with in this current scenario. Your pussy clenches around nothing, and you wiggle back against Aziraphale’s cock, who gasps behind you.

Crowley leans over you to the bedside table, giving you the perfect opportunity to press a sharp bite into his side. He chuckles, and Aziraphale gives your thigh a vaguely scolding pat. When he returns to sit back on his haunches, he hides what he has behind his back.

“Toys aren’t something you need to hide from me, Crowley, dear. I may have been born in the sixteenth century, but that doesn’t mean I’m a sixteenth-century prude either.” You bat your eyes at him for emphasis and he just ignores you, launching right into a new question.

“Mm, right- are you hungry?”

Now this does confuse you. Hungry? Yes, always, and quite frankly the reminder of your current lack of blood supply is not helping the intimate mood as much as you’d like it to.

“Y-yes?” You supply. Zira noses at your ear, making dark and heated eye contact with the Demon over your shoulder.

“Well, see- the Angel and I were thinking,” Crowley said, twiddling the item behind his back in his hands for a moment. “If you wanted to try, erm, the other side of the Canal, so to speak.”

One of Aziraphale’s hands slides down from where he’s holding you open to rub as best he can at your clit from that angle. Your eyes flutter and the muscles in your now free leg groan in protest as you stretch it back out.

“Not too far, dearest,” Aziraphale interjects. “We’re going to need that back there in a moment.”

You’re not sure what to make of this, but you can’t deny the way your pussy clenches at the thought of trying Demon’s blood. Particularly after knowing how Angel’s blood had worked on you.

“What have you got behind your back, Crowley?”

He pulls the object out and into view. You recognise it immediately. A blade. A delicate little thing, curved at the tip. It looks like something Crowley’s taken good care of for quite some time.

“You like it?” He asks, twirling the sharp thing in his fingers. “They don’t make ‘em like this anymore, do they?”

You shake your head. They definitely didn’t.

Crowley took the blade and set it aside for a moment, shuffling forward to sit closer between your legs. You eye his cock as he takes it in hand. He nudges Zira’s fingers away from your clit, who splutters at the ridiculousness of the act and Crowley replaces them with the head of his cock.

He’s still holding it in place as he rubs himself against your clit, little gasps escaping you both. Your thighs twitch with pleasure and pain as Aziraphale goes back to holding them both in place.

The Angel can’t help but rock himself against you, pre-cum leaking onto your skin. The slide of his cock against your arse, and Crowley’s cock against your clit makes you shiver, head falling back onto Aziraphale’s shoulder.

“Oh, she likes that,” Aziraphale pants, fingers leaving red marks on your skin. You can’t help but let the little shy whimper out. Crowley snickers mockingly, slapping the head of his cock against your clit a few times.

“Be a dear,” Crowley said, reaching for your hand and placing it above his length. “Hold that there, eh, love?”

You blush at the request, placing the flat of your hand over him so he can continue to rub his cock into your clit while he reaches once again for the blade. The feel of his cock sliding against your folds and your hand has you writhing.

Crowley takes the blade and trails it down your chest, hips stuttering just a little when you swell with intrigue. Oh, this was looking interesting indeed.

“Didn’t fail to notice, Pet,” he emphasises the ‘t’. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Didn’t I?” You pant back, rolling your hips against his cock. Aziraphale groans at the friction. Crowley hums a ‘no’ at you, and you grin. “Yes, dear- I’m hungry.”

Your Angel and Demon take this as word enough, and Crowley takes his blade and his wrist and raises it above your body. He gives you one more heated look before slicing the skin there softly, a little ‘oh’ as fat drops of blood slither down his skin and drip off onto your body.

Pat. A drop lands on your chin. Pat. Another on your chest. Pat, pat. More down your tummy and then- pat, pat, pat. Drips landing on the hand keeping Crowley in place. You can smell it, sweet notes of cedar. You feel out the points of your fangs with your tongue. Crowley clocks the motion and grins, allowing some more of his blood to drip onto your fingertips. Pat, pat.

He moves your hand, raising it to your lips.

“Go on,” he tempts. “Have a taste, hey?”

You glance between your bloodied fingers and Crowley’s heated smirk. Not breaking eye contact, you slide your fingers to your mouth. The first taste of his blood on your tongue feels charged, almost electric. Oh, this was definitely different from Angel’s blood.

Your lips wrap around your fingers and you begin to suck them clean. Crowley places one hand around the base of his cock and slaps your clit a few more times, groaning as pre-cum beads at the tip.

While Aziraphale tasted of peonies and ink, Crowley tasted of grapes and smoke with the obligatory iron that followed. God, they both tasted divine. Your tongue wrapped around your fingers and cleaned off the last traces. Your eyes flicked to the drop on your chest, which you swipe onto your forefinger and promptly suck clean.

“Oh, Crowley,” you moan. He’s got a wicked grin plastered across his features.

“Good, then, I take it?”

You nod, already starting to feel the effects of the blood in your system. Cells coming back alive, energy returning but there’s something else too. You’ve only had a few drops so you can’t be sure yet, but it almost feels like your blood is heating under your skin.

Your eyes flick to his dripping wrist, and you allow a soft “more, please?” to convey just how much you desired to taste him. Crowley acquiesces, presenting you with his slick wrist. You take it softly with both hands, pressing your lips to the cut and laving your tongue over it to collect any and all of the blood that has leaked out.

Once you’ve done this, you brush your fangs over the soft skin, completely lost to anything else at that moment other than the fact that you were finally feeding.

It’s as you begin sucking anew on the cut and properly feeding that Crowley sinks his cock inside you. You gap, eyes fluttering shut as he sinks all the way to the hilt. Aziraphale lets out a few breathy moans at the sight and adjusts himself so that it is now his knees and thighs locking yours open for your Demon.

This leaves Aziraphale’s hands free. He stretches them to get the ache out before caressing up and down your thighs and sides. He squeezes at your hips and whispers in your ear about how gorgeous you look like this.

All of a sudden it hits you- Crowley’s blood. Demon’s blood. Demon blood which was once Angel’s blood. You moan wantonly as the effects start to pile up. Crowley’s blood was an aphrodisiac just like Aziraphale’s, yes, but there was something different about it. The way it was electrically charged, singeing your nerves and setting them alight at the same time. The way it felt as though the blood might be roiling with heat in your veins. Oh, this was definitely new. It was like… Crowley’s blood was just laced with pure sin. Or perhaps it was just pure unadulterated sin. Period.

All you knew was that your thoughts were fading into lustful madness, and you forced yourself to break away from his wrist long enough to let out a dangerously needy growl. Crowley arched his brow and pulled his hips back so he could slam them inside again.

Your mouth dropped open in pleasure, and the force of the thrust pressed you back against your Angel, who moaned loudly in your ear. You reached behind you with one hand to pull at Aziraphale’s hair. You couldn’t see it, but given the look Crowley had on his face, the Angel was making an expression that could easily have been branded as pure lust. The whimper that followed also gave you that impression.

Once the shock of Crowley’s movements had passed, you pulled his wrist back to your lips. You grazed your fangs over a section of skin that was unharmed and waited for Crowley’s permission. Sure, the cut was there, but there was nothing quite like the feeling of flesh splitting beneath your fangs. It satisfied that primal urge like no other.

Crowley nodded and his hips stuttered with pleasure as you bit down. He moaned, his other arm wobbling as he tried to keep himself up as you started feeding in earnest. That might have something to do with the venom that is secreted from your fangs when you feed. Nothing toxic, of course. It was just meant for numbing the pain felt from feeding and replacing it with pleasure, changing what the nerves picked up so that your prey wouldn’t struggle to get away.

After all, why would they if your bite was blinding ecstasy?

Crowley thrust his hips again and set a harsh pace, grunting with pleasure as you fed off him and clenched your pussy around him. You were growing more desperate the more of his blood you drank, blood fizzing in your veins, crackling at your nerves.

“You’re both so gorgeous like this, my darlings,” Aziraphale said softly, skating the tips of his fingers over your hips to squeeze at the bone there possessively. You whined around Crowley’s arm.

Aziraphale’s fingers trailed further along your skin, coming to rest on your clit. He could feel where the two of you were connected and felt around Crowley’s cock as he pounded inside you. That coil was winding tighter in your core, and as Aziraphale began to circle your bundle of nerves, you wondered just how long you were going to last.

Crowley’s blood was sparking inside you, and every tight rub of Aziraphale’s fingers on your clit felt like it was almost too much. It felt as though the raw endings of your nerves were exposed and exploding with every touch.

Without warning, you came screaming, loud wails of pleasure as your body jerked between them. Aziraphale’s legs tightened on yours, keeping you from snapping them closed from the overstimulation.

“Oh, fuck-” Crowley grunted as you clenched down tight on him. He fucked you through the orgasm, not letting up for a moment. And you realised with horror that it had done nothing to quell the ache inside you. In fact, if nothing else, you were desperate for more.

“Harder-” you grunted, abandoning Crowley’s wrist to reach for him, wrapping your arms around his neck. The Demon complied, snapping his hips up against you harder, setting a rougher pace than before. With his other hand free, he was now able to balance himself properly on the bed and get a more comfortable rhythm going. “Fuck, please- harder-”

Crowley chuckled breathily in your ear, nipping at the skin just below it. Aziraphale then slapped your clit without warning, causing you to arch off the bed by the hips and shriek. The Angel laughed lovingly from behind your other ear.

“Oh dear, I rather think she likes that too, don’t you, Crowley?”

Crowley groaned as you clenched down on him once again as Aziraphale repeated the motion.

“Fuck, Pet,” Crowley managed. “Oh, you love being between us like this, don’t you?”

You whimpered, mouth dropping open as you got closer to another orgasm. Your thighs were twitching under Aziraphale’s almost uncontrollably.

“Oh, you do,” Crowley mocked. “You’re so full up on the taste of me that you can’t stand anything other than our cocks on you, fucking you-” You were nodding desperately, scratching your fingers down his back. Crowley was a little bit of a masochist and made sure to never miracle away or let the marks heal for a day or so after you’d given him some so he could enjoy the sting a while longer. He was going to enjoy seeing these in the morning, that was for sure.

“Are you goi-nngh- fuck, going to cum, darling? Already? Poor little thing. Go on, then- cum for us again.”

Your back arches as another orgasm rips its way out of you, more powerful than the one before. You don’t know how to function as the pleasure tears through your nerves like wildfire. You cry out before biting down on the junction of Crowley’s neck. Not to feed, but just to stifle yourself.

Crowley shouts, hips stuttering forward as he finally finishes too, ropes of cum painting your inner walls. He’s panting and burying himself as deeply as he can inside you. The Demon rocks his hips softly against your hips, riding out his pleasure.

You’re whimpering and keening, desperate for more. Crowley must give the Angel a suggestive look, who softly unhooks your legs from his own and starts pressing kisses down your neck, hand coming up to squeeze at your breast.

“My dear, would you be ever so kind as to allow me up?” Aziraphale asks you. You groan with the effort of removing yourself from his chest. It’s a lot of work after having been fucked so thoroughly, but you do it happily for him.

Aziraphale slides out from behind you and Crowley takes his place. You settle back against the Demon and smile tiredly as he places his bony chin down on the top of your head.

Aziraphale spends a moment admiring the view before him before kneeling back down on the bed and positioning himself against your entrance.

“Can I?” He asks, knowing how exhausted and overstimulated you were. You nodded, gasping as Crowley pinches a nipple harshly. You may be tired, but the effects of his blood were still active in your veins.

Aziraphale spends his sweet time sinking inside you. He’s much thicker than Crowley, and the stretch burns pleasurably as he slowly rocks his hips forward. You’re struggling not to squirm under him as he finally bottoms out.

“Crowley, be a dear-” Aziraphale swallows thickly as you clench around him, swollen walls making you feel even tighter than usual. “Wrap that pretty hand around her neck for me?”

“Oh, as you wish, Angel-” Crowley replies, bringing the hand that wasn’t pinching and tugging at your abused nipples to rest on your throat. You whimper and raise your jaw to give him more space. He chuckles knowingly and gives you a quick squeeze.

Aziraphale must like the way that makes you twitch if the way he whimpered was anything to go by.

“Please- Zira, I need you,” you pant, hips now beginning to attempt to rock against him. He moans and thrusts his hips shallowly into you. You gasp, though the intake of air is stolen from you as Crowley tightens his hand once again, cutting off any and all airflow.

Aziraphale can’t hold out any more and begins to snap his hips back and forth, delighting in the way your tummy twitches with the motion. You swear you can feel your clit throbbing and twitching too.

Crowley loosens his grip to allow you to suck half a breath in before taking the choice away again. Now, as a vampire, you don’t technically need to breathe, but old habits die hard, and breathing was still second nature to you, even after all this time.

“Oh, that’s it, Pet,” Crowley says, squeezing your breast with the other hand. “Looking so edible for us, aren’t you?” Aziraphale moans at the Demon’s words, and Crowley tuts.

“Don’t worry, Angel- I haven’t forgotten about you. Pretty thing, isn’t he? Likes to think he’s so innocent, doesn’t he? Did you know,” he pauses for effect, and you can feel the wicked grin from behind you. “This whole thing was his idea. Oh, I know- doesn’t seem like our dear old ‘Ziraphale.”

Aziraphale blushes dark pink, grabbing onto your hip to fuck into you harder. You’re watching him with rapt attention. He does look so pretty like this, so perfect. Angelic. Not that this is a surprise, of course.

“Crowley-” Aziraphale warns halfheartedly. “Please-”

Crowley releases your throat. You suck a deep breath in and reach down to rub at your clit, feeling pressure starting to build once again.

“Please what, Angel? You know you love the praise. Did you know,” he trails off in your ear. “Managed to make him cum untouched from praise once.”

You chuckle airily, though it breaks off into a long moan at the way Aziraphale squeaks and his hips snap forward. You would have to see if that particular event could be replicated.

“Mm, that was a fun day,” Crowley says almost conversationally. “Angel, are you close?”

Aziraphale nods jerkily, fingers leaving red marks on your skin as he begins to chase his orgasm. You know it won’t be long, given how much he had been denied and teased before. You rub your clit faster, in time with his thrusts.

Crowley laughs darkly and tightens his fingers on your throat again. Your head jerks back. A whine attempts to escape you, but can’t do so with the grip Crowley had on you. Aziraphale moans loudly as he reaches ever closer to that peak.

“Alright, now, Pet,” Crowley growls when he can tell the both of you are getting close. You can feel his cum inside you being forced out around Aziraphale’s cock as he fucks you ever deeper. “You’d better cum soon because I won’t be letting go until you do.”

If you had still been human, you might have had bruises on your skin where his fingers pressed into you. You moaned, hips jerking and thighs twitching. There was pressure building in your belly, though it didn’t quite feel as it had before. This was different- oh. Oh.

Your legs jerked as the pressure built up and burst. Liquid gushed out as you squirted onto Aziraphale’s cock and thighs. The Angel let out a sound of surprise before thrusting once, twice ore and cumming, mixing his cum with the Demons’ inside your hole.

You realised that Crowley had let your throat go and was trailing his fingers up and down your cheek comfortingly. This was definitely new. You had never squirted before, and when you managed to open your eyes to look at the Angel, he looked at you with dark, lustful reverence.

“That- you- that was glorious,” he managed to supply. You chuckled tiredly and pulled him in for a kiss. The Angel pushed his tongue into your mouth to dance with yours and you whimpered as the act made your clit twitch with interest.

“My, my,” Crowley said, tilting your head to give him a chaste kiss too when you were done kissing Aziraphale. “You are a dirty thing.”

You sagged against him, muscles giving out. Oh, you were going to sleep well after this.

“I think,” Aziraphale panted, pulling a miracle down from above to clean up the three of you and the bed. “We ought to do that again at some point.”

You groaned and pulled the Angel down on top of you, who let out a startled ‘oof’ sound. You giggled and encouraged the two of them to snuggle with you.

“Mm- sometime,” you agreed, already feeling yourself giving in to the very human impulse of sleep. “Later.”

“Get some sleep, dear,” Aziraphale said softly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

“Mm- we’ll be here,” Crowley added, pressing another kiss to the top of your head.

And you did, and they were.

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bowtiepastabitch · 7 months

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Heaven's Not Homophobic in Good Omens, and Why That's Important

I need to preface this with, I am not trying to start a fight or argument and won't tolerate any homophobic or bad faith arguments in response to this. Cool? Cool.

This is in large part inspired by this ask from Neil's blog, which sparked some discourse that I don't want to get involved in but that brought up some analytic questions for me.

He goes on to reblog a question asking about Uriel's taunt specifically, clarifying that "boyfriend in the dark glasses" can just as easily be read/translated from angelic as girlfriend or bosom buddy. The idea is that an angel and a demon "fraternizing" is seriously looked down upon, not that heaven is homophobic. And that's super important.

We see homophobia in both the book and show, of course. Aziraphale is very queer-coded, intentionally and explicitly so, and we see the reaction of other humans to that several times. Sergeant Shadwell, for example, and the kid in the book that calls him the f-slur when he's doing magic at Warlock's birthday party. These are, however, individual human reactions to his coding as a gay man.

I am, personally, not a fan of heaven redemption theories for the show; no hate for people who want that it's just not something I'm interested in. I don't believe that heaven is good with bad leadership, or that God Herself remains as a paragon of virtue. To me, that's not in line with the themes and messages of the show. It's important, however, that heaven doesn't reflect human vices. Heaven can be nasty and selfish and apathetic in its own right without ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or racism. This matters for two reasons.

Firstly, we don't need the -isms and -phobias to be evil or at least ethically impure. In a world where we spend so much time fighting against prejudice and bigotry, our impulse is to see that reflected in characters whose motivations we distrust or who we're intended to dislike. While it's true that that's often the big bad evil in our daily lives, it can really cheapen the malice in fictional evil from a storytelling standpoint. A villain motivated by racism or as an allegory for homophobia can be incredibly compelling, but not every bad guy can be the physical representation of an -ism. Art reflects the reality in which it's crafted, but the complexity of human nature and the evil it's capable of can't be simplified to a dni list.

Secondly, and I think more importantly, is that for Good Omens specifically, this places the responsibility for homophobia on humanity. If you're in this fandom, there's like a 98% chance you've been hurt by religion in some way. For a lot of us, that includes religious homophobia and hate, so it makes sense to want to project that onto the 'religious' structure of Good Omens. It's a story that is, in many ways, about religious trauma and abuse. However, if heaven itself held homophobic values, it would canonize in-universe the idea that heaven and religion itself are responsible for all humanity's -isms and -phobias and absolve humans of any responsibility. Much like Crowley emphasizes repeatedly that the wicked cruelty he takes responsibility for is entirely human-made, we have to accept that heaven can't take the blame for this. To make heaven, the religious authority, homophobic would simply justify religious bigotry from humans. By taking the blame for religious extremism and hatred away from heaven and the religious structure, Good Omens makes it clear that the nastiness of humanity is uniquely and specially human and forces the individual to take responsibility rather than the system. Hell isn't responsible for the Spanish Inquisition, which by the way was religiously motivated if you didn't know, and heaven isn't responsible for Ronald Reagan.

This idea is perhaps more strongly and explicitly expressed in the Good Omens novel, in the scene where Aziraphale briefly possesses a televangelist on live TV. It's comedic, yes, but also serves to demonstrate that human concepts of the apocalypse and religious fervor are deeply incorrect (in gomens universe canon) and condemn exploitation of faith practices. Pratchett and Gaiman weave a great deal of complexity into the way religion and religious values are portrayed in the book, especially in the emphasis on heaven and hell being essentially the same. They're interested in the concept of what it means to be uniquely and unabashedly human, the good and the bad, and part of that is forcing each individual person to bear the brunt of responsibility for their own actions rather than passing it off onto a greater religious authority.

Additionally, from a fan perspective, there's something refreshing about a very queer story where homophobia isn't the primary (or even a side) conflict. The primary narrative of Good Omens isn't that these two man-shaped-beings are gay, it's that they're an angel and a demon. The tension in their romantic arc arises entirely from the larger conflict of heaven and hell, and things like gender and sexuality don't really matter at all. Yes, homophobia and transphobia are very real, present issues in our everyday lives, but they don't have to be central to every story we tell. There's something really soothing about Crowley and Aziraphale being so queer-coded and so clearly enamored with each other without constantly being bombarded with homophobia and hate. It's incredible to see a disabled angel whose use of a mobility aid makes no difference in their role and to see angels and demons using they/them pronouns without being questioned or misgendered. It's all accepted and normalized, and that's the kind of representation that we as queer people deserve.

#anywho that got real long #good omens #terry pratchett #media analysis #good omens analysis #queer coding #queer representation #ineffable husbands #gomens #aziraphale x crowley #anywho happy valentines day #love my fandom #not beta read or majorly edited because I'm a busy guy with homework so lmk if there's any errors that need correcting (politely!)

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theelastword · 1 year

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*SPOILERS AHEAD*

So I’ve been seeing a lot of people talk about how big of a mistake Aziraphale made in the finale and how badly they feel for Crowley (instead of feeling bad for BOTH of them). And honestly? I don’t understand the perspective that Crowley getting his heart broken in episode 6 has to mean that Aziraphale was totally naive and wrong and that it’ll take Crowley a lot of time to forgive him, or that Aziraphale’s ending in season 2 wasn’t just as heartbreaking as Crowley’s.

Think about everything we know about Aziraphale, who has never once been power-hungry and— following season 1— no longer cares what Heaven thinks (he even told the Metratron that he didn’t want to go back to Heaven when first approached). Aziraphale only left because he sees angels like Muriel, who definitively have good in them despite everything, or even Gabriel who somehow figured out how to fall in love and find something that mattered more to him than the supposed ‘morality’ of Heaven. Aziraphale sees that spark, that potential of Heaven to be turned into what it should have always been, and he thinks that he can do it because he’s seen proof of angels who can get away from Heaven’s influence, a list that includes himself.

Not to mention THAT look he gave Metatron after he brought up the Second Coming, a look that (at least from where I’m sitting) was a definite steeling of nerves and his own way of saying “Okay, time to take this thing down from the inside”. He was NOT saying that Crowley should reform himself for Heaven, or even that they should go back because he missed Heaven. He was asking Crowley to go with him because he loves him and wants him by his side— and because he knows that Crowley has experience in being there for angels who slowly deviate from Heaven.

Aziraphale wants what he’s always wanted— to keep helping everyone he possibly can, without stopping to do what he really wants and just stay in his beloved bookshop with the love of his life. Because he never prioritizes what it is he wants when he could be helping others instead. That’s just who he is, which is what makes him so selfless and wonderful but also so sad in that he never just…lets himself be happy. And the Crowley that we all know would never hate or have lingering fury toward him for that. What Aziraphale is doing, although heartbreaking to people like me who just want the Husbands to have their little cottage in the South Downs, is actually really brave, AND just as worthy of the sympathy and heartbreak that many fans are feeling for Crowley.

EDIT: Also, as sad/problematic it may be to abandon your life and partner, it’s just as problematic to turn a blind eye to the oppression and injustice of Heaven that, by all means, you have the ability and voice to try to do something about in pursuit of prioritizing what you want. So if we’re going to be mad at Aziraphale, we have to be mad at Crowley, too (and I’ll be disappointed if hypothetical-season-3 paints the narrative that Aziraphale is the only one in the wrong here). Personally, I’m all for not being mad at anybody. I completely understand both of their choices, and I just want them to reconcile and be compassionate to what the other is going through.

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hikarry · 9 months

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Aziraphale and Crowley plan a vacation free of miracles, just for the heck of it. Just to do it the way humans do. Maybe it's fun! Maybe they will have a grand old time! Who knows?

It all starts with packing.

Aziraphale is the very first to regret this idea as soon as he opens his bag on top of the bed, ready to pack. They can only take so many bags because they are going on the Bentley, and no miracles means no calling books through space with a single snap of his fingers. So...one bag is not enough, surely.

"Oh, but it is, angel. Max one bag for clothes and one bag for books, nothing more."

"But Crowley, that's absurd! We'll be in Scotland for 2 weeks! Am I supposed to take, what? 5 books? And how am I supposed to choose?"

"This 'no miracles' trip was your idea. Now deal with it."

Aziraphale deals with it, but not without a lot of complaining and making a list of pros and cons of taking every single one of his favorite books. He ends up with a bag full of them and a couple more in the clothes bag.

This is to say that Crowley doesn't have an easier time. No miracles means no miracling his own clothes, so he's got to actually pack something. And he likes most of his clothes. And you never know what type of events will be around. A restaurant? A play? He needs outfits. Good outfits. And a toothbrush. And shampoo and conditioner, cause he refuses to use the ones from the hotel. And hair gel! Cause no miracles also means no miracling his hair into being in shape...doing his hair every morning will be an absolute pain in the arse, but he can endure it. Yet, when he goes to close his bag...it's too full. Taking two bags of clothes would be ridiculous, so he lays his hand on the bag and pushes down, trying to run the zipper. Nothing happens. He sighs and sits on the bag, pulling the zipper once again, and it runs for a couple of millimeters.

"Angel, give me a hand, will you?"

"With what, dear?"

"I'll sit on the bag and also push it down with my hands and you will try to close the zipper." He opens his legs so Aziraphale can access the bag's zipper and he jumps once on his bag, pushing down with his hands.

Aziraphale almost breaks the bloody zipper, but it does indeed close.

With the bags in the Bentley and both seated on their usual positions, Crowley lays his hands on the steering wheel, but doesnt start the car just yet, instead looking ahead.

"Everything alright?"

"...does 'no miracles' mean I can't keep the tank of the Bentley full?"

"I suppose."

"Aziraphale, I haven't gone to a gas station since I got the bloody James Bond stickers!"

"And when was that?"

"Many, many decades ago."

"Oh well, I'm sure getting fuel in a car isn't that difficult. It mustn't have changed since back then."

"Are you sure we can't make an exception?"

"Quite."

"...is this because of the books?"

"Mmh."

Crowley groans and goes to start the car, but he stops short of the ignition.

"Are you...keeping the Bentley whole with miracles? Is that the new problem, my dear?"

"No." He looks up at the angel. "I have to buy a phone charger."

"Whatever for?"

"Because I keep my phone charged with miracles, angel! And I have absolutely zero idea where the original charger is! I never used it! With a bit of luck its still somewhere in Mayfair."

"Oh well, we will stop at a phone shop then. Easy fix."

The demon takes a deep breath, and off they go, on their road trip to Scotland at very not legal speeds - not for lack of complaining on the angel's side, mind you.

When they get to Edinburgh, they quickly find their hotel and go up to their room. Both take showers and, hell, it's still mid afternoon, so they go for a stroll around.

At about dinner time, Crowley quickly googles restaurants nearby and finds one named "Angels with Bagpipes". As soon as he sees it, he stops scrolling. It's somewhat modern and certainly different from the Ritz, but, Satan, look at that name! They just couldn't not go.

"You're joking, certainly." Aziraphale looks over his shoulder. "Look at that other one! Rhubarb. It looks so much more-"

"Posh?"

The angel eyes him side ways.

"I was going to say classy. Romantic."

Crowley snorts.

"Oh this is a romantic vacation, is it?"

"No!" He slaps his arm. "I mean-! Yes! Just-" He runs a hand down his face while Crowley keeps laughing. "Oh, hush. I'm just saying that one looks way more up our alley. That one is too modern."

"I'm down with modern. Big fan of modern, me."

"Oh, believe me, my dear, I'm extremely aware, but-"

"And! For a restaurant as posh as that I bet we need reservations. And you know what we don't have?" Crowley wiggles his fingers. "Reservations. Or miracles to get said reservations."

Aziraphale rolls his eyes, trying to suppress an exasperated sigh. Crowley was ridiculous. How in all the heavens did he put up with him through all these years will forever be a mystery.

"Alright. Let's go to the other one."

Crowley smiles, victorious, and offers him his arm, which Aziraphale promptly takes.

"An angel and a demon walk into a restaurant named 'Angels with Bagpipes'-"

"Crowley!"

And off they go, down the streets of Edinburgh. They have dinner and Aziraphale only complains until the food is served. Afterwards he appears quite content to stuff his face with appetizers and whatnot all while under the watchful eye of Crowley that keeps sipping his wine silently, one elbow on the table, while under said table his leg pushes against Aziraphale's.

"Do behave yourself, will you?"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean, angel." He uses his foot to slightly slide up Aziraphale's leg.

"We are in public."

"Your point?"

Aziraphale closes his legs, trapping Crowley's foot in between them.

"That's my point."

Crowley pouts, pulling his leg away.

"Boring, you are."

The meal proceeds with little to no incidents. Just the usual: Aziraphale utterly enjoying his food and Crowley watching him as he is enraptured by the flavors and its, honest to Satan, impossible to look away. Not to mention the satisfied wiggles. And the moans. It can pass 6000 more years, but Crowley will never ever get used to those.

"Angel."

"Yes, my dear?"

"Do you have money?" Aziraphale suddenly drops his fork and looks up at Crowley, mouth hanging open. "Thought so."

"Heavens, what are we going to do? We can surely miracle it, right? This is an emergency."

"Nop. You didn't let me miracle the fuel so no miracling the money either."

"You paid for the fuel."

"My last pounds, yes."

The angel's eyes widen quite comically.

"You must be joking."

"No. No joke. Last bills in my wallet." He sloshes the wine inside his glass, leaning closer towards Aziraphale. "And I bet this is all quite the price too. What do we do, Aziraphale? Leave by the back like criminals?"

"There's no back and we are not criminals! We need to miracle the money!"

"That's against the rules." He points at the angel, raising an eyebrow over his sunglasses. "Your rules, might I add."

"No-! Crowley!" He also leans closer to the demon and whispers. "We need to do it. We are not criminals."

"I'm a demon. I guess I can be considered a criminal at some extent."

"You're being ridiculous."

"I'm playing by the rules."

"You're insufferable."

"And yet you still love me."

Aziraphale sighs and closes his eyes, trying to think about a solution, when he hears footsteps approaching.

"Have you finished your dessert, sirs?" The waiter asks, stopping right in front of the table.

"We have." Crowley is quick to answer, and Aziraphale kicks him under the table. He was not done yet, and he needed more time to think about a solution!

"Are you ready to pay?"

Crowley looks at Aziraphale, very serious, and Aziraphale can feel the sweat accumulating on his hands. Oh lord, they had no money. And they just ate a 3 course meal. I mean, Aziraphale ate. Crowley mostly dabbled on the soup and spent the rest of the meal drinking. Drinking quite old and expensive red wine, at that.

Aziraphale looks at Crowley, then at the waiter - who is smiling very politely at them - and then back at the demon. Crowley raises his eyebrow again while Aziraphale starts to shake. He was about to pop when Crowley snorts and reaches for his wallet, pulling a black card and handing it to the waiter, who accepts it and walks away. Aziraphale gasps.

"You had money!"

"Technically no. I had a card."

"A card with money!"

"I never said I didn't have a card. I said I didn't have bills. Physical money. I did use my last bills at the station."

Aziraphale kicks him under the table again, and Crowley can't hold it anymore and starts laughing as controlled as he can.

"Oh, I hate you, you fiend!"

"You've been telling yourself that for 6000 years and you're yet to believe it." The waiter returns with the card and leaves just as fast. "Shall we go back?"

"Yes. But I won't forgive you for this."

"Ah, yes. You. The one that throws 'I forgive yous' through the wind."

"Crowley!"

"Joking. I'm joking." He gets up and Aziraphale follows him. When they get through the door, Crowley offers him his arm once again and leans in closer. A whisper just Aziraphale could hear. "I have my methods to make you forgive me. Just let us get to the hotel, angel."

Alas, the day was not ready to give them a break. On their way to the hotel, it suddenly started raining heavily, soaking both of them to the bone.

"I don't believe this!"

"A little miracle would come in handy right about now, eh?" Aziraphale sighs and snaps his fingers, summoning a tartan umbrella to his hand, which he promptly opens, covering both of them. "Angel!"

"Hush. We can start over tomorrow. Now, let's go." He grabs Crowley by the arm and starts pulling him.

"What's the rush? It's not like we can get sick."

"Someone promised me something when we got to our hotel room." The angel looks over his shoulder to the demon for a second, still walking up the street.

Crowley smiles.

"And you just have to run to find out whatever it is."

"Color me curious."

They did get to the hotel quite fast, and the first thing they did was peel away from their drenched clothes and jump in the shower. Whatever happened in there is between the angel, the demon, and the white tiles on the wall.

#once again supposed to be a small lil thing but got out of my hand #crowley just had to tease Aziraphale he wasnt having it any other way #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #anthony j crowley #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction

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suspiciouscharacter1895 · 8 months

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Good Omens Fic List

At this point, I have produced 11 17 Good Omens fics. If that's the sort of thing you enjoy, peruse my catalog! All these are Crowley/Aziraphale, and most feature angst, cathartic love confessions, and smut (though not all). Have a suggestion? Love one of them? Let a girl know. I love doing this, and I love connecting with people who care about this universe as much as I do. I truly hope you enjoy!

See AO3 for full tags.

No Nightingales (T, 14.7k) Post S2 - It's been a year since Aziraphale left Crowley on Earth and neither of them are faring very well. A moment of crisis brings them together again, and this time it's up to Aziraphale to save Crowley. Plot heavy, mature themes but no sexual content.

Whatever You Want (E, 3.5k) Smutty little sequel to No Nightingales but can absolutely be read as a standalone. Aziraphale works through some guilt and Crowley works through some wish fulfillment. Gentle and loving first time.

Something I Can Do For You (E, 3.2) Post-bullet catch (1941), Aziraphale grapples with the implications of realizing he is in love with his best friend. Lighthearted, loving, slightly desperate first time.

Quite Sure (E, 2.7k) Can be imagined as a sequel to Something I Can Do for You, but doesn't rely on it in any way. Established relationship set 10 years after the bullet catch. Considers when Crowley fell for Aziraphale, featuring meditations on the whole thing with Job and sweet lovemaking, with Aziraphale taking care of Crowley.

Worship in the Bedroom (E, 3.6k) Post-S2 - Aziraphale is back from Heaven and he and Crowley are hiding from Heaven and Hell. No plot really, but lots of worshipful, healing, sensual sex, with Crowley working through some angst and being cared for as he deserves.

The Whole Darn World Seemed Upside Down (E, 5.2k) Post-S1 - Crowley has unresolved feelings he needs to work through. If only he were good at the whole vulnerability thing. Angst and mild conflict, followed by love confessions and...well you know.

Tempt Me (E, 6k) Set in an unspecified future when they figure it all out and are happy together. A fun little romp with Aziraphale being very into Crowley tempting him. Like VERY into it. Light dom/sub elements.

If You Like (E, 4.4k) Set the night of the failed S1 Armageddon. Aziraphale goes back to Crowley’s flat and both of the boys are forced to deal with some long-repressed feelings. If only they were better at talking. Angst-heavy, especially for Crowley.

Worth Knowing (E, 3.6k) Sequel to If You Like set after the Ritz. Aziraphale thought everything would change after they slept together, but everything seems to have gone back to normal. If Crowley isn't going to do anything about that, Aziraphale will. Happy ending! Loving, soft, sweet, love confessions.

Flashes of Love (G, 3.2k) NO SEX TOTALLY WHOLESOME. Set a few weeks after the averted Second Coming (which all worked out fine) in a world where they are happy and together. Aziraphale has an inkling that Crowley may be able to sense and share angelic love in a way most demons can’t. Crowley agrees to give it a shot.

Forgive Me (E, 1.6k) LOTS OF SEX NOT AT ALL WHOLESOME. Post S2 - Aziraphale muses on what he should want from Crowley, and what he actually wants. Both rough and gentle sex follows, entirely imagined by Aziraphale. Heavy angst, please check tags.

My Angel (E, 2k) Companion to Forgive Me, from Crowley's perspective. Pieces can be read in either order or independently. What he should want his first time with Aziraphale to be, and what he actually wants. Both rough and gentle sex follows, entirely imagined by Crowley. Heavy angst.

Might As Well Do It Properly (E, 5.7k) What if Shax and the demon horde didn't show up at Aziraphale's Regency ball? Maybe Aziraphale would use some leftover magic in the air to do something he's been meaning to do for a long time. Gentle, loving first time (with dancing!).

I Need You (E, 3.8k) What if Crowley and Aziraphale were together before the events of S2? What if Aziraphale left anyway? What if he came back, just for one night? Angsty, sexy.

You Were Right (T, 6.2k) The origin of the apology dance in 1650. Crowley does something that could get them both in a lot of trouble. Aziraphale jumps to some conclusions, and has to try to make up for it. Plotty, pining, sweet. T for some mature themes.

Wherever You Are, I’ll Come to You (G, 5.7k) Just after The Fall, Crawly has no memory of who he is or where he comes from. But he has the funniest idea that he needs to find someone. Descriptions of The Fall, an appearance of Lucifer, and some descriptions of C&A’s relationship as angels.

A Favour (G, 3.1k) Two weeks after their memorable evening in 1941, Aziraphale can't get Crowley out of his mind. Then the demon shows up on his doorstep asking for a favor. Mutual pining abounds. My contribution to the GOMM minisode minibang, written based on the delightful art of elliart7.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #fanfic #good omens fanfiction #good omens 2 #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce

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