#lotta thoughts on this stupid motherfucker

[tatonslice]

shrieking in the hall of lull, thy genius sates a thirst for trouble

[princes-creations-askblog]

Finally posting oc content again bc I can’t hold it back anymore <3

Ok so I have this set of ocs (I’ve talked abt them before in this post right here) and uh. I’m remaking them now. or trying to, I’m having bad writer’s block hngh—

So like. Now that I’ve exploded and absolutely NEED to post them or I’ll die, I’ll give you some basic info on them :)

I’ve renamed Jay to Jeiviin. They’re a six-year-old Sky Dragon born and raised in Emporia, having lived in Taldrena their whole life (up until an incident in which they ended up in Voxtren). They’re intersex and were raised genderless, and have an older sister.

I’ve renamed Cora to Avaki. She’s a seventeen-year-old Sky Dragon that was born in Talix, one of Emporia’s islands, and moved to Taldrena with her family when she was 8. She’s Jeiviin’s older sister, and really into true crime.

I’ve renamed Sigasi to Sivea. She’s a fourteen-year-old Healer Dragon born in the Philippines, but moved to Emporia (specifically Voxtren) when she was 11. She’s an only child, but became best friends with Jeiviin and Avaki after the events of her (and the other characters’) story takes place, and she’s surprisingly feisty for a Healer.

I’ve renamed Delta Sun to Astrallon. They’re somewhere around 150-160 years old, and they’re an Angel from the Concept Universe (or the Void). They left their home when they were in their 20s to search for their missing mother (idk what happened to her though), but they never found her, and instead decided to just. Stay in Emporia. I mean, it’s a really pretty country, so. Fair enuf.

None of them have designs yet, but I have some very basic ideas for what I want them to look like —

Jeiviin will be pretty short (I mean they’re 6 so ofc), and their main colour will definitely be blue. Lotta scars.

Avaki will be more seafoam green I think? And a lot taller. Possibility of being emo or scene

Sivea is so so purple. I kinda want her to resemble a violet-backed starling. I love those fucking birds. I want her to have a sorta medieval-goth-princess aesthetic, but more modern

Astrallon gets to be tall as hell. Way taller than they need to be. Get enlarged stupid. And I want them to have some vague religious vibes, like biblically accurate or something. Perhaps multiple sets of wings, or too many halos. Or too many eyes.

Ok now that that’s out of the way.

Storyline thing or something!

The kiddos are still both gonna be experiments — that was an integral part of their story before the remake, and I don’t wanna change that — but Astrallon won’t be an experiment anymore. Instead, they’ll be friends with the guy running the experiments, but they won’t know about it until he calls them up and says “DUDE WE’RE GETTING FUCKED UP PLEASE HELP”.

The experiments aren’t gonna be turned into some form of superhuman (superdragon?) beings anymore, either. Instead, the cult is trying to transform Dragons into Humans by surgically removing their Draconic traits and making them physically look as human as possible.

Those experiments never end up working and all the subjects that went through the procedures died. Including Jeiviin. But they get to come back as a ghost, because I said so.

Anyway!! The reason Mr. Cult Guy calls Astrallon screaming for help, is because Sivea and the other still-living experiments broke out and started killing motherfuckers. As they should.

Astrallon is a very kind person, so of course, they immediately run over to their friend’s location to help, and promptly get their shit FUCKING WRECKED by Sivea, who thought they were another cultist.

Some other stuff happens after that, and then the story ends, but I haven’t gotten to that point yet. As I said, I’m having writer’s block atm, so I can’t get past the part where Sivea starts plotting.

Also, despite the setting of this story being in Emporia, which is also where my AHiT AU takes place, this is not set in the AHiT universe! It’s an entirely original work, full of the blorbos from my autism.

I am tired and can’t think of anything else to write, so that’s it post’s over. Eat up

[iwonderwh0]

Why the Riot Unit ask the androids to disperse?

They're usacops, they infamously stupid in every story that features them, and it's the first (and only) thing they thought about because they have only experienced something similar with people. If they indeed dispersed, I feel like the cop who gave the order will be called a dumb motherfucker by their higher ups because "what do you MEAN you let rogue machines disguised as humans let away after they conveniently gathered in one place? You gotta be fucking kidding me!"

This shit will result in lotta trash burning behind the closed doors, explanations and potential suspensions regardless of the outcome

[mongooseblues]

Navratri, Maybe

Observations from the Random Access Horny Memories of Ayush Pujari — V

Ayush’s final observation is a fuzzy memory. [Other fics in this series: I, II, III, IV]

- — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - —

It happened in a half-darkened hallway, during a party he wished was over. His parents’ party. They threw a lotta parties. He doesn’t even remember what they were celebrating, they’d pretty much take any excuse. He thinks... Navratri, maybe.

Ayush wasn’t feeling well in multiple respects. He was sick but not with anything sexy. A disaster of a cough, a ruined throat that felt like he swallowed glass. Due to a combination of Jack, coke and Dayquil, he’d also gotten much drunker than he intended to, in the middle of the day like a fucking undergrad.

He was disoriented, as he stumbled out of the guest room where he’d definitely not meant to fall asleep. Emerged to a party in full swing, and Caliph happened to be nearby. Came to him in the hallway.

“Whoa hey, Ayush…” he said, with concern and surprise and a steadying hand to his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Ayush could only wrap an arm over his face to cough like he was dying of consumption in another century.

“Ohh,” Caliph said then, softly, “you’re sick.”

He was still kind of drunk and felt vaguely like every sound was faintly ringing, but there was no forgetting Caliph’s expression. The purity of the worry in his forehead and eyebrows. Sparkling eyes and the tiniest hint of unfocus, probably related to the glass of a respectable amount of wine he’d carefully set down on a credenza just before he came over. A bit tipsy himself. Caliph was always a hit at his parents’ parties. He was always a hit with adults even as a child, annoyingly so sometimes, because it left Ayush’s parents saying things like Why can’t you be well-mannered like Caliph? 

Suddenly there was a cool hand on his forehead, and well-mannered Caliph, with a sympathetic half-smile, said, “Aww bhaiya, you’re really hot.”

To which an inebriated Ayush responded, “Thank you,” like a stupid idiot asshole. “I can’t help myself I’m a sexy motherfucker.” Caliph, bless his heart, laughed as if he’d heard something funny.

“Yes well, you’re also hot in a more literal sense.” And the authority in Caliph’s voice then made him even more lightheaded than he already was. “You’re feverish, Ayush. You really should be lying down. I’m dizzy just looking at you.”

He could be wrong, but the fact that Caliph then felt both of his cheeks seemed maybe more than friendly? It was hard to tell because to be fair they were close, or they were once at least, and of course Caliph was probably genuinely concerned because the coughing was ridiculous. And considering this was someone who once helped him get saag out of his braces, it’s possible that they were just familiar enough with each other for it not to mean anything at all that Caliph would check him for fever thrice in thirty seconds. Ayush probably smiled like an idiot while he did it too. He needed to say something stupid so that he didn’t say anything really stupid.

“s’all good,” he rasped, before he had to turn away to cough forever again.

Caliph whispered a worried, “Bhaiya…” and didn’t let go of his arm and Ayush felt like absolute trash and wished he was at least a little less drunk, a little less of a hot mess. God help him if he thought he could determine anything from the fuzzy, boozy, febrile memory of the concern on a friendly face. He doesn’t remember how long he was standing there exactly, feeling like Caliph was the only thing keeping him up, just that it felt like… like a moment. Of some kind.

It was hard to tell with Caliph.

[tyrian-stuck]

Can I request tyrian sollux hcs? Preferably with a close friendship with gamzee?

Sollux was going to die and he knew it. He was just another failed heir in a long line of them. Another dead usurper to fall at his ancestor's feet. He could practically hear his last words in his head already. Why bother trying?

Because of this, Sollux rarely ever found much reason to leave his hive. Instead, he's content to lay around his palace all day playing video games, complaining about every little thing he doesn't like to his drones. He's vaguely aware that his bitter comments are dictating Alternia's video game industry, but he doesn't really care.

Karkat first comes to his attention when a drone informs him of some loud mouth who left a scathing review on one of his favorite games. Sollux's first thought was "this guy would be fun to fuck with" and a beautiful online friendship blossomed from there.

Eventually, Karkat decided to introduce Sollux to Gamzee. Karkat predicted that Gamzee would annoy the shit out of Sollux. He was right.

At first, Sollux didn't give him much thought. Gamzee was just the guy who inexplicably appeared in his hive occasionally and whom Sollux couldn't bother to kick out.

"Gamzee how the fuck did you get in my fridge?" "Motherfucking miracles."

This annoyance gradually turns into concern when Sollux realizes Gamzee has no survival instinct whatsoever. He presses on it on occasion... and eventually learns Gamzee has no lusus.

The realization that Gamzee will probably die upon ascending just like he will hits him like a ton of bricks. Like, holy shit, they were both screwed over by the system weren't they? Shit, man.

Sollux has no idea why he does it. He knows it's pointless. Knows Gamzee will likely die anyways and that getting attached to a dead troll us stupid, but he tries to help. He sends Gamzee healthier food, plays games with him, sends cleaners to fix up his hive.

It isn't until Gamzee starts growing big and strong like a proper highblood that he begins to return the favor. He shows up at Sollux's hive with training equipment, actually knocks on the door for once.

"Shit, motherfucker, we've got a lotta training to do if you're gonna live to ascension. You could be the next Emperor, you know?"

For the first time in his life, Sollux thinks "Shit, maybe I could..."

[entityskillcount-archive]

Thoughts on everyone in the realms?

"Short Answer; I made a chart. Not a well drawn chart, mind you, but a chart. Sometimes you don't wanna put effort into drawing 50 something faces"

"Long answer, uh....well lemme go down the list"

Claudette: My Starflower~!! She's so sweet and kind and amazing in trials and every time I see her I swoon a little- I love her so much~ Dwight: He's cute- And he's a good leader, despite his nervous personality, he knows how to bring a group together. Final guy potential. Ash: ....Don't...Tell him I said this? But uh....Evil Dead was one of my biggest comfort series, the thing that got me through losing both my parents....the thing that helped me transition, pick my name, and fueled my FX hobby. And I'm still attached, even realizing he's a real person and all- But...it's weird to just, be upfront with something like that, so I'm just...burying it as best as I can. David: He's a little rough around the edges but he’s good to have in a trial, plus when you can get past the walls, he’s nice to talk to. Kate: Her music by the campfire is calming and she’s such a sweetheart. If we were in a better situation I’d love to learn Guitar from her, but, it’s hard when you’re a moment away from a trial at any given time. Amalthea (@askthewidowstars OC): She judged my entire vibe but jokes on her I’m the one who snagged a cutie for life- Meg: If I had a dollar for every time she left me for dead I would have enough money to paint the entire campfire in solid gold. The only time we’ve ever properly talked was about SAW traps and 90% of it was her admitting she could beat every single trap because she was ‘built different’  Jeff: He’s a sweetheart and really nice to be around. Sometimes when we’re by the campfire in our downtimes I’ll let him draw on my arm. it kinda makes me want a tattoo, honestly. If we ever get out of here, I might get one. Steve: Bros!! We kinda make up team ‘Altruistic Himbo’, Plus the ‘Babysitter/Brother’ Vibes mesh really well. I kinda wanna re-style his hair though, mostly because it looks fluffy, and nice to play with.  Quentin: Bros!! We’re gonna make matching T-Shirts about committing Arson on Freddy in particular. He’s fun to hang around in our downtime, and I hope there’s a chance he can get some actual rest, even in here. He deserves it. Adam: If Dwight wasn’t the leader I feel like he’d take over the Reigns. I feel like he’s the calm type that doesn’t handle energetic types well though. Which, y’know, makes things hard.  Nea: Anytime I see her she’s either sneaking around the map and watching everyone get killed, or doing something stupid to get herself killed. I’d get grey hair if We were actually friends.  Feng: Gamer bros- I got to find out we actually played a lotta the same stuff before we were taken by the Entity. We get a chance to nerd out in between trials- Laurie: Best Final Girl hands down. I kinda hope she can teach me Decisive Strike one day- I feel like its also just a little awkward since again, still a fan of Myers Nancy: She doesn’t agree that Demo’s a good boy, which makes sense, but we but heads over it. Also I’m pretty sure she wants me dead for touching the bones around the map one too many times. They’re just too tempting.... Jake: He’s pretty quiet, but he’s helpful in trials. I heard he’s been to a convention a few times, but I don’t think he’s actually into it as much as I thought...Which kinda sucks. I’d love more cosplay buddies y’know? Yui: Kinda makes me want a motorbike. We don’t talk but she seems really cool. A little too cool to me around if that makes sense.  Yun-Jin: She benefits off of throwing everyone else under the bus. And 90% of the time she will throw everyone under the bus. Even if she needs actual help to escape the trial.  Cheryl: Cheryylll!!  She’s really cool and honestly would add her to the ‘Can kill god if she was not nerfed’ Squad. Especially since y’know, she has- I bet if we got enough of the kids together we could just beat the Entity’s ass. I know she could.  Tapp: Always been a fan of Tapp before I was taken, although I feel like he’d wanna arrest me if we weren’t in the Entity’s Realm. I might be a little too excited for my own good about Kramer’s work. I don’t think he’d believe the fact its a movie either.  Ace: He’s kinda like the Uncle of the group around the campfire, but, coming into trials, He’s still for saving his own skin- You can also only stand dad jokes for so long. Especially in an eternity like this.  Leon: He’s cool!!! I got so excited first realizing He and Jill were here, and I wanna get a chance to talk to him about everything that went down, but Haven’t got the chance. He’s nice inside of Trials though, usually doesn’t leave anyone behind. Not a fan of getting blinded though.  Jill: She knows how to lead the trials well, and I look up to her a lot. She’s always been such a badass!!  Bill: If Bill gets his hands on a weapon the entire Realm would be fucked. Badass as hell and Kinda scary. Another one on the list of ‘Entity needed to Nerf’ Felix: You’d think a Childless Father and a Fatherless son would be able to bond a bit more, but, I think we each kinda get the same vibe of homesickness from one another. He’s kind though, and it’s neat to see his work whenever we’re by the campfire.  Elodie: She’s better at helping out than most of the others, but she’s still in a survival of the fittest mindset. I loved hearing about her studies from before she was taken though. I feel like if we had more time we could dig deeper into this whole world and what its about. But we don’t get that- Zarina: We just don’t really click as much, honestly. I’d love to get to know her better but I think she’s more into digging into the killers and what she can find out about this place. Which y’know, could be better done with a team. Sage (@askthewidowstars OC): HUSBAND!!! My husband. I love him to the Moon and back. He’s amazing and I miss him even when we’re five feet apart-  ...I need a hug now-  Amanda: Best girl hands down!! We vibed a lot in between Trials talking about her traps and old designs, she was impressed by my knowledge, and we hang out in Gideon sometimes!   Ghostface: He’s pretty cute- Also fun to be around, even if he’s kind of a dick when he’s actually at work, it’s better when you’re outside of a Trial. It’s also neat to see he’s not just two idiots in a halloween costume and his own person, as much as I love the Scream Series, too-  Leatherface: Bubba!!! Honestly I’d handle being chainsawed. Fuckin Love Bubba-  Huntress: I wanna learn how to throw hatchets but I know I never will. She’s kinda scary, but also I feel like if she could adopt some of the others in the Realms, she totally would.  Oni: The only times I’ve ever really seen him is just before my skull gets bashed in. All I really have associated to him is the splitting headache.  Twins: I’m gonna punt Victor into the sun. I haven’t been good around kids beforehand and this tiny gremlin motherfucker just makes it worse.  Pinhead: I was so excited to see him!! He’s one of the few that talks more often than not in a trial, and he’s always had this air of elegance about him which makes it so much cooler! I’d be tempted to grab the box to solve it, but, at the same time Dwight’s already been hunted. I just...want to see how it works, really. Maybe if I ask nicely? Nah, probably not.  Pyramid Head: He’s so fucking COOL!!! He’s always just been really fucking cool and I still get stars in my eyes. I wanna re-create his weapon one day.  Joey: Joey’s one of the chill killers to be around, probably my favorite amongst the legion. Also Cosplay gang?? Hello? Susie: She’s cute!! I like her vibes whenever there’s not violence involved. I wonder if she’d ever get into costume making, she has the artistic eye for it. I also wonder if she’d ever dye other people’s hair...I’d kinda want green tips one day- Frank: Still wanna throw a palette at him. He’s one of the more serious of the Legion, and usually the one you’d find with a Mori. Not as Serious as Julie but only because he has the cocky god complex to go with it.  Julie:  She’s definitely the most serious out of the Legion. There’s no real rest whenever we’re in a trial against her. Scary as hell and less of a bastard than the other three.  Hillbilly: I know he deserved a lot better than this, especially after hearing more about him. I...Haven’t gotten to see much than the end of his chainsaw though.  Blight: This dude’s singlehandedly bringing back my fear of needles and I thought I lost that with HRT- Also like, dude spits up orange fuckin everywhere.  Michael: My Mans!! I always get a little excited knowing we’re up against him. It’s habit- It’s kinda weird to see him easily affected by like, palettes or flashlights though.  Spirit: She seems like she could be nice when there’s some downtime. I’m also one of the few that can understand her well enough, which probably makes things easier. I found out she’s basically my age when I survived a trial by myself. I’d hope to hang out more sometime. Nemesis: God he’s so fucking tall. Kinda surprised it was Nemesis out of everyone that could’ve been brought, and also, kinda terrified? Still am kinda terrified. I’m surprised he hasn’t just torn up an entire map yet. His zombie minions are also annoying. Wraith: All this motherfucker does is roll up to pull me off Gens and Exist as a problem. I don’t see much of him outside of a Trial. Trapper: Motherfucker Incarnate. If the Entity lets us throw hands I’m fighting him first.  Freddy: ....Gross. I liked the Nightmare on Elm Street series a lot, but...Freddy as a person? Ew. Especially this iteration.  Demogorgon: Demopuppy!! He’s a good boy and he deserves to get treats. Even if the Treats are flesh....I wonder if he likes candy though. Trickster: Pretty!! He also Gives me DIO vibes because of the Jacket and the Knife throwing...Imagine if a killer could stop time...that’d be terrifying. Deathslinger: I wanna sit down and look at his gun more but I also feel like if I ask I’d just get shot on sight. Intimidating as hell but also cool. Mary: ....Still on the very complicated ‘Ex Girlfriend that murdered me’ State. It’s hard to avoid her though. Especially since she wants to get back together since we’re stuck here. Nurse: She does not help my fear of Hospitals, honestly. While she’s easy to go up against, it’s still eugh. Plague: I really, really hate her power. The Sickness and the Vomit is just- Eughhhhh- It just hits every bad sensory issue at once.  Clown: ...I get killers are Killers and aren’t supposed to be good people but also like....Disgusting. Please Remove from the Realm. He’s just- ...Ew.  Doctor: NOPE. NO. NEVER. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

[whole-lotta-hoes]

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

-

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

-

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

-

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

[archived-brokentoys]

which cult? 👀lotta those in this city

It’s a cult made up by me! It’s funny because when I had originally thought of reformed Ed, I only had basic ideas for the verse... now I actually have quite a few ideas so I kinda wanna revamp my reformed verse for this blog? But at the same time, my ideas are a little bit complicated... because as I’ve said on that post, a lot of these ideas are for a fan comic -- which would be about a reformed Ed struggling to be good and doing the right thing. Because it’s a fan comic, I’ve created quite a few original characters and concepts. Because I don’t wanna do that ( kinda lazy ) thing where Ed goes good and so the rogues just turn on him for that. I wanted to create new and original people for Edward to take on.

Okay! I’ll quickly explain my concepts for the cult -- which I don’t quite have a name yet ( because I’m bad with names and I tend to come up with those last. ) But the cult is supposed to mirror Ed ( because symbolism ) they all wear suits because they want to look nice to their leader, they believe in intelligence and that stupidity is a disease. Therefore, they’ll sacrifice people who they believe to be ‘stupid’ to the one they worship, which they believe their leader to be a reincarnation of this demon, this demon ( kinda Satanish ) who they believe has reincarnated into their leader. To do this, they typically chuck the person they’re sacrificing into a wood chipper and their gore sprays into a pool ( full of others blood ) believing that is the most thorough way to get rid of the “stupidity contamination.”

A sex worker who Edward had sex with a few years ago got involved with the cult. She would eventually come to him by saying the cult is planning on sacrificing her daughter because she was diagnosed with autism ( because the cult leader is also an ableist motherfucker. Just general horrible person. ) and so Edward would go on to save the baby from such a terrible fate. Edward doesn’t find out the baby is his until after he saved her. In which, after all that... he decided to fight for custody for Elaine, concerned about her well being.

There’s even more details, but I’ve already gone through so much just here LOL!

[nebulawritings]

A Mistake and a Choice Part Four (and a bit)

Part four (and a bit). This is kind of a filler part. I’ve had a few requests from people asking me to carry this on, and I don’t currently have a job to go to, so why the heck not. It’s short and sweet, Bryce x MC centric. FYI mentions of polyamory so if you don’t like that don’t read it. Simple. Thanks again for the comments, some awesome messages which makes my day to read. Enjoy reading, likes, comments etc etc always appreciated.

EDIT

Posted again due to spam. Hyperlinks not working as on mobile but will fix in the morning. FYI I hate Tumblr mobile for making posts.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Four (and a bit)

Book: Open Heart, Book 2 [Choices Stories You Play]

Pairing: M!DrValentinexEthan M!DrValentinexBryce

Reading Time: ~ 5 minutes

Warning: Swears.Fluff ahead.

_________________________________________

The light filtered through his bedroom blinds, harsh and unwelcoming as it pulled the young doctor from his slumber. Blinking the sleep and blur from his eyes, Casey enjoyed the brief 30 second moment where he didn’t remember why he was laying on top of the duvet on his bed, fully clothed save for his shoes which were tossed on the floor. But, all too soon the previous nights events hit him like a tonne of bricks. “Oh God…” he groaned, burying his face in the comforter beneath him. It wasn’t so much that he was heartbroken, but embarrassed and ashamed of what had happened including the fact the Bryce had seen him like that. “There is no way I’m getting up today” came a muffled groan, although luckily he’d arranged to have the whole weekend off anyway. The young Doctor struggled out of his pants, socks and jumper before crawling underneath the sheets, trying to hide from everything that had happened. He couldn’t face it…Not yet.

“Casey, if you don’t get up in five minutes I swear to God I’m going to throw a bucket of cold water on you”.

The yelling from the door awoke him, and Casey poked his head out of under the sheets. “Shuddup, Jackie!” he yelled back, throwing a pillow at the door. “I’m not working today!”.

“I know!” came a reply, “but for the tenth time you’ve got a visitor and if I have to make small talk for much long I’m going to go insane”.

“Tell them to go away” he muttered half-heartedly, burying his head back down into his pillow.

“Oh for the love of; just go in there” he heard Jackie say, someone else responding in a muffled tone. Casey groaned and threw another pillow at the door, just as it opened, hitting the guest square in the face.

“Hi to you too, sleepy head”.

“Bryce!” Casey exclaimed, scrambling to sit up. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were there”.

The reply was laughter, and the surgeon gently closed the door behind him. “Hey, no worries. A strange guy barging in your room, I get it. I’m just glad you didn’t hit lunch”. He held up a paper bag and two cups of coffee.

“Lunch? Oh man, what time is it?”. Casey sat up properly, rubbed his face and tried to feebly fix his hair which was sticking up all over the place.

“Um…Just er, just past two”.

“You okay? You sound a bit nervous”.

“Oh, me? Yeah, totally fine. Just…you know…” he gestured to Casey’s half naked body, sheets curled around him like the damn Venus de Millo.

“Oh! Shit, sorry er let me just…” Casey leaned over, more of the covers slipping down his body and revealing his toned chest and back making Bryce swallow hard. “I’ve got a jumper somewhere…” he leaned even further, grey boxers peeking out from beneath the sheet. If Bryce hadn’t been holding two hot cups of coffee, he wondered if he’d be able to keep his hands to himself.

“There…Sorry” Casey smiled, albeit a bit awkwardly, now wearing the slouch grey sweater from the previous night.

“Don’t apologise” Bryce said, smiling easily as he sat down next to Casey on the bed. “I mean, that just gave me a huge flashback as to why I’m so into you in the first place”.

“Oh don’t, I’m a complete mess” Casey laughed, gratefully taking the hot drink and pastry Bryce had bought over. “So…What brings you here? Unless you were hoping to catch me half naked”.

“Well, not just that” Bryce responded, grinning now. “I was just worried I guess. About you…About last night. You were in such a state, Case”.

The diagnostician nodded glumly, and looked to the floor, playing with the plastic coffee cup. “I was…Am. I don’t know”.

“I don’t wanna pry, but…I kinda also had an ulterior motive for coming over?”.

Casey looked back at Bryce, who was serious in his expression. “Oh?”.

“I’m not blind, Casey. It doesn’t take a hotshot Doctor like you to work out you were waiting for someone last night for a hook-up or whatever, and they didn’t show. I just…I want a straight answer, I guess? You know how I feel about you, and I didn’t come here to upset you more or stress you out, and if you want me to go just tell me and I’ll leave but…I really, really like you Casey. Like, like you…But if there’s someone else or you’re not into me then I’d rather know”.

Casey sighed, guilt knotting in his stomach. “You’re not wrong” he answered, shaking his head. “But it wasn’t just a hookup. It was with someone I’ve been waiting for, and…I don’t know, he means a lot to me in lots of different ways”.

Bryce nodded, thinking carefully. “It’s Dr Ramsey, right?”.

Casey almost spat out the coffee he’d been drinking, and his head snapped to Bryce. “How did you-“.

“You’re phone” Bryce admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to, I swear, but last night when I dropped you off your phone was left in the cab. I mean I’ve suspected for a while that something’s been going on between you two. Then, about 5am this morning, your phone lit up with an onslaught of messages, missed calls, voicemails…All from him”.

Casey laughed, sadly. “Well, you’re right. It was him. I was foolish enough to think he might want to be with me, and look where it got me. Clown numero uno”.

“Hey!” Bryce snapped, “if anyone’s the clown here, Casey, it’s Dr Ramsey! If you’d been waiting for me, there is no way I would’ve missed it, no matter what happened! I’d never make you feel like you did last night, I’d never let you down or humiliate you or make you search for help from someone else”.

Casey looked away. “I was wrong to contact you last night, I just…”

“You like me, right?”.

Casey looked over at Bryce. “Of course I do”.

“You like like me, right?”.

“….Bryce…”.

“You’ve been avoiding being with me because you’ve been waiting for him, right? When he pissed off to the Amazon for God knows how long you were being faithful, you didn’t sleep with me, because you thought you had something with him, right?”.

“…Yes”.

Bryce took a deep breath, a small smile on his lips. “You don’t know how relieved I am that this has been going on”.

Casey’s brow furrowed and he frowned, confused and a little hurt. “Relieved? Why the hell would you be relieved?”.

“Listen, Casey, I’ve been in all sorts of relationships before. Threeway, fourway, I’m with her and she’s with him way. I thought you didn’t like me! I thought that’s why you were staying away from me! It doesn’t bother me who you’re with, me and someone else at the same time, whatever. You can want to be with more than one person. It doesn’t make you an asshole, it just means you’ve got a lotta love to give, Casey”.

The other man felt tears welling in his eyes. “I had to choose, Bryce, and I…I chose Dr Ramsey. But he didn’t choose me. I don’t know how that makes me feel. I was so certain and now…I don’t know, man”.

Bryce reached out, and cupped Casey’s cheek in his hand. “I would never make you choose” he said softly. “As long as I get to be a part of whatever’s going on in your life, I’m game. I know it’s not the orthodox way of doing things, and people have called me easy and seconds and all sorts of other shit just because they think you can only be with one person at one time but that’s not how I feel. I can’t help how I feel…What I feel about relationships. About you. And I want you, Casey, I want you to be mine so damn much”.

Casey closed his eyes, shook his head. “Really? After everything that’s happened? All the shit I’ve put you through?”

Bryce laughed. “If I’ve learnt one thing, Case, it’s that something that’s worth it is never easy or straightforward. But that makes it all the sweeter in the end”. Bryce gently leaned forwards, and placed a kiss on Casey’s forehead. “You, Casey Valentine, are worth it". He moved away. "That’s all I came to say. I’m sorry for bombarding you after such a rough time, but I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t tell you how I felt. To let you know that, no matter what, you’ve got me. Always”. He stood up, brushed himself off. “I’ll…go now” he said calmly. “I don’t expect an answer straightaway, I know how hard being let down can feel just…Think about what I said, okay? You know where I am when you’ve made up your mind”.

Casey nodded, clutching the coffee cup hard as he swallowed. “Bryce?”.

The surgeon turned around from where he had gotten up. “Yeah?”

“Thanks…For everything”.

“No worries. See you later?”.

Casey nodded, seeing that signature smile from the surgeon that made his heart flutter. “For sure”. The door shut, footsteps retreated down the hall, and the diagnostician took a deep, calming breath. “How could I of been so stupid” he muttered, scalding himself. Casey wasn’t the type of person to be strung along, or not get what he wanted. The past year had proven that to him more than any other part of his life, from back when he was a student clawing and fighting his way through medical school to be the best, because he’d decided he was going to go to Edenbrook and study under Dr Ramsey and Dr Banerji; to fighting and defeating big pharma so recently because they were withholding life saving treatments, and not letting people live the way they wanted to. “Stop fucking moping! Get a grip! What’s wrong with you, you’re Casey motherfucking Valentine!”. He stood up, put the coffee cup down so hard it spilled on the side. “When do you ever get screwed over? Never! Do you sit and whine like a bitch!? No!”. He was in front of the full length mirror now, glaring at himself. “You’ve been chasing your tail for months you total moron, and for what? To be stood up? To have the best damn thing that’s happened to you walk out the door? No freaking way!”. Without thinking a second longer, Casey bolted out of his room, sprinted through the apartment and out into the corridor. He saw the lift closing, and cursed to himself, before running for the stairs. He took them two at a time, slipping in bare feet across the mixture of carpet and cheap lino. Casey skid to a halt in the entrance way after too many damn flights of stairs, and his eyes darted around. “Bryce!” he yelled, panting, as he saw the other man at the door of the building.

“Casey!? Oh my God, what’re you doing!?” Bryce ran over to him, and quickly shrugged off his jacket, covered up Casey’s bare legs by wrapping it around his waist. “You’re half naked, dude!”.

“I know!” Casey said, breathless, “but I just wanted to say that I was fucking stupid, and you don’t need to wait for my answer any more, you’ve waited and waited all this time-“

“Casey”

“And I’ve been a complete dick and I’m sorry, I was so lost and confused and-”

“Hey, Case”

“So fucking stupid! But I just wanted you to know that-”.

His rambling was cut off by a kiss, and Casey returned the gesture eagerly, breathing hard through his nose from where he’d been running and ranting.

“Done?” Bryce muttered against his lips.

“Not nearly” Casey replied, feeling Bryce smile.

“Shall we take this conversation back to your room?”.

Having now calmed down a little, the Doctor glanced around, and flushed deep red, suddenly very aware of the various onlookers. “Er…Yeah. Right now”.

Bryce laughed and slipped his hand around Casey’s waist, guiding him back to the elevator.

“Is it wrong that I’m kinda turned on right now?” he teased, as they stepped inside the metal box.

“All kinds of wrong” Casey smiled back, "but you don't care, do you? About what other people think?".

"Nope".

Casey smiled. "That’s what I like about you”.

"Is that all you like?".

The diagnostician hit Bryce lightly, before finding his hand and linking their fingers gently. "One of many things, Lahela. One of many".

@xxmultiangela

[sleepykalena]

Ten Songs to Get You Through the Plague (Hallyu Edition)

How dare you all, daring me to make a list even though I declined because I said it was just a whole lotta kpop. :P

@skitzofreak, @crazy-fruit, and @funkygourmetrva-blog apparently REALLY wanna be “enlightened” or something like that so here it goes~

(under the cut because long post is long)

ON (BTS) - This song slaps, and is one of like...three(???) songs that I like from BTS. This is a straight-up fight song- it’s hesitant, a little scared, but embraces a self-professed insanity as a motivation to keep going, and that’s pretty damn inspirational (and also very Jyn, I must say. That’s been on my mind). This song and Mikrokosmos are helping me write Parka. Favorite Line(s): Can’t hold me down cuz you know I’m a fighter / 제 발로 들어온 아름다운 감옥 [translation: Carried myself into this beautiful prison] / I’m alright, bring the pain on, yeah / I’ma fight, bring the pain on, yeah

Mikrokosmos (BTS) - I love a good song that compares feelings of love and companionship to stars in a night sky. This baby got me through writing about half the chapters in Parka, and is gonna help me write the remaining 3-4 chapters before I move on to Scarf. Favorite Line(s):  어쩜 이 밤의 표정이 이토록 또 아름다운 건 / 저 별들도 불빛도 아닌 우리 때문일 거야 / You got me / 난 너를 보며 꿈을 꿔 / I got you / 칠흑 같던 밤들 속 / 서로가 본 서로의 빛 / 같은 말을 하고 있었던 거야 우린 / 가장 깊은 밤에 더 빛나는 별빛 [rough translation: It’s possible that the night is beautiful not because of the lights or stars, but because of us / You got me / I see you as I dream / I got you / in the darkest of nights / The lights we saw in each other / were saying the same thing / A starlight that shines brighter than the deepest night]

Bad Buy (Cover) (Eric Nam) - I was really uncomfortable with the idea of a female minor talking about how she’s the type to “might seduce your dad”, but under the lens of a “guy next door” in his late 20s/early 30s, it seems...more like a strange quirk than some lolita thing. But also, Eric Nam has no business being this attractive and making this super smooth cover. Seriously. No business whatsoever. *fans self* Favorite Line(s): Duh. (SERIOUSLY. That’s the favorite bit. I’m not even joking.)

Double Knot (Stray Kidz) - I heard the English version of this first and thought, “hot damn, these kids go HARD”. And then someone pointed out that they were literally singing about tying their shoelaces and now I can’t stop laughing. I actually have had this in my rotation because it helps me get in the mindset of the show I’ll be working on next (which has a similarly hilarious juxtaposition), because I hear this song and literally imagine a bunch of 13 year olds trying to act hardcore with a song as G-rated as this (I’m still laughing just thinking about it) Favorite Line(s):  Dramatic cutscene every scene is the best of the best / 'Cause my life is a five star movie / I'm not done yet so / Tight-tight, go brace yourself / I tighten my double knot

HIP (Mamamoo) - This song is a huge critique on the kpop industry and their rather restrictive and fat-shamey culture, and I AM HERE FOR IT. Plus these gals are just GORGEOUS. This one got me exposed to Mamamoo and I have zero regrets. Songs like this always make me feel super empowered <3 Favorite Line(s): 논란이 돼 My fashion / 별로 신경 안 써 그저 Action / 자꾸 Click me click me 홀린 듯이 Zoom / Close up close up close up HIP 해 [localized translation: Your controversy is my fashion / I don’t care, it’s just an action / Go and click me, click me, like a stan, you zoom / close up, cuz you know I’m HIP, hey]

Regular (NCT 127) - Pretty sure this has been living in my playlist for most of 2019, and it hasn’t changed much since. Definitely makes me feel like a baller while I (used to) commute in shitty traffic, so listening to it now that I’m practicing social distancing is more about mentally taking myself to a place of normalcy than anything else.  Favorite Line(s): I like shining, you be lying / I be grinding, you waste time / Know you wanna roll with me / Cause you know I put it down / When I show up, I’m the one and only, nah nah nah / Yeah, pull up in the jag / Haters gon’ be mad

Kill This Love (Blackpink) - This is also an empowerment anthem that also helped me get through my (former) commute! When you spend all this time indoors, you’re bound to overthink your life, so it’s nice to have a song remind you that you need to assess those relationships and, if the relationship is hurting you more than helping you, “kill this love”. Deffo applicable to your relationship with yourself (e.g. if you’re wallowing in negative thoughts on a detrimental level), or even with others on a platonic level. Favorite Line(s): 나 어떡해 나약한 날 견딜 수 없어 / 애써 눈물을 감춘 채 / 사랑의 숨통을 끊어야겠어 [translation: What do I do? I can’t stand being this weak / While I force myself to hide my tears / I need to bring an end to this love]

POP/STARS (K/DA) - My previous editor showed me this song at the start of this year before he left for a new show and it slaps so hard that I’m mad at how much of an earworm this is LMAOOOOOOOO (side note: has anyone noticed that I’m picking these songs based on how upbeat they help me feel since I’m stuck indoors all the time?) Favorite Line(s): Ain’t nobody bringing us / Down down down down down down / They could try but we’re gonna wear the crown / You could go another round / Round round round round round round / Wish you luck but you’re not bringing us down

Dr. BeBe (Pentagon) - The song is just really catchy. The lyrics is really possessive in a helpless kind of way, and that’s sort of the flaw with most pop songs, it’s also strangely self-aware of what it’s going through. So meta LOL Favorite Line(s):  너란 벽에 갇혀 몸부림쳐 / 상처 나도 / 벗어날 수 없는 울림 [translation: I’m stuck inside your walls / struggle to escape / and get hurt]

AND THE ONE SONG THAT ISN’T KPOP:

Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD) - Came for the two folks in Godzilla suits, stayed for the lyrical mastery. I think even my partner was shocked that I liked this song, but honestly? It goes pretty hard, it’s a bit rude and taunting, which is just the kind of salt that I sprinkle in my head. Plus it’s fun to try and get even a FRACTION of the speed that Eminem raps. Favorite Line(s): You're bringin' the killer within me outta me / You don't want to be the enemy of the demon who entered me / Or be on the receivin' end of me, what stupidity it'd be / Every bit of me's the epitome of a spitter / When I'm in the vicinity, motherfucker, you better duck / Or you finna be dead the minute you run into me / A hundred percent of you is a fifth of a percent of me / I'm 'bout to fuckin' finish you, bitch, I'm unfadable / You wanna battle, I'm available, I'm blown up like an inflatable / I'm undebatable, I'm unavoidable, I'm unevadable

Is there anyone left to tag? Making this post was exhausting, so tag yourselves if you want in LMAO

[damagedsmile]

Drabble #20

“No protection. Out on my own with my old so-called FRIENDS scattered to the winds, not yet considered a true con, just some pup playin’ games and lookin’ for easy money. Facin’ time for some messy assault, looking at court-ordered anger therapy and payin’ fines when I’m released, tryin’ t’act like I been here before bu’ this is my first assault so in reality I’m shittin’ myself. By some twisted sense of humor I’ve been put on the violent wing even though my boots have long since cooled.

Guys bigger than me with more tattoos, more piercin’s, more experience and very few of them white lookin’ down at me all the time, their eyes givin’ nothin’ away, bu’ SOMETIMES I’m lucky in that they yell at me how they’re gunna fuck me up so I know where I stand. Some start hasslin’ me, draggin’ me in t’fights that go down on paper an’ get me warned, an’ some offer me drugs, cigarettes, anythin’ they can get in here, but such offers seem TOO GOOD t’be true so I stick with my own company.

Thought I was goin’ good; I had fought ‘em all off an’ survived with some bruises, some blood, an’ some torn muscles, an’ I hadn’t been killed yet, an’ in doin’ so I’d gained a couple friends with similar stories.They had my back an’ put in a word for me so t’lessen the friction my presence brought for many of the other more hard-core cons. I began feelin’ good about myself, feelin’ more confident, workin’ out, gettin’ my strength up, received some tatts and some respect on account of provin’ myself after I took the fall for some cigarette contraband that’d been smuggled in.

Then it went to shit.  In ways I didn’t see coming but that I SHOULD’VE seen, I was too stupid and too young. I don’t know why, whether it was for power, some sort of insult towards me, a message t’a friend, hate, or even lust. I’ll never know. I don’t care t’know. All I know is that day fucked me up a little more in several ways I’ll be livin’ for the rest of my life, the scars runnin’ deeper than skin-deep, runnin’ right in to my messed-up brain and tellin’ me in future if ever I want safety, REAL protection, just fuck around an’ get locked in t’SOLITARY.

I turn my back for a split second, I let my guard down ‘cause maybe I feel big an’ tough or somethin’ dumb an’ juvenile, an’ I feel a large presence slip behind me, I hear a grunted order, then comes the shank. Can’t breathe, can’t stand, can barely see for the shower sprayin’ in to my boggled eyes! Bodies swarmin’, yellin’, hands. Blood. The cold tiles, so cold and hard, rippin’ up in t’my skin with grout, the guards turnin’ their back smugly to shout for everyone to clear out.

The shock made it less painful I guess ‘cause I didn’t cry or even scream, jus’ lay there trapped and shakin’ like a fuckin’ COWARDLY PIECE OF SHIT bu’ in my mind I screamed long an’ hard, in my mind I knew what was happenin’ so I WAS in pain. Stingin’, stabbin’, guts churnin’, muscles rippin’, blood fallin’. At one point I can move an’ I can make my mouth work again and so they hold me down, muffle me. Can’t breathe.

I hear my mother from some long distant memory comfortin’ me.  ‘It’s okay, baby boy, its okay… yer gunna be okay, I promise, it’s jus’ a bitty scratch.’

It ends at last after I don’t know how long an’ I want to curl up an’ disappear bu’ I can’t move, too weak, too tired, too much pain t’even cry out. I’m taken t’the infirmary an’ while they’re checking my wound, pressure, pain, stingin’, I tell them what happened in three simple but chokin’ words that make me vomit. They don’t react, maybe not hearin’, and when I next wake up I’m drained and in pain all over. 

‘Yer lucky, they just missed yer kidney, ya’ll be up before ya know it.’

I repeat my three terrible words with a shudder. They’ve washed the blood away from my legs bu’ I’m still in pain… YOU KNOW, YOU FUCKERS, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID.

‘Can ya prove that?’

WHY DIDN’T THEY SEE, AIN’T IT OBVIOUS?  WHY DIDN’T THEY EVEN LOOK? THEY DIDN’T FUCKIN’ WANNA.THEY DON’T BELIEVE THE GUARDS LET IT HAPPEN.

‘Drop yer pants an’ turn around, ya HAVE to turn around, do ya want me to examine ya or not?’

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

‘We need an X-ray.’

AH FUCK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. ARE YA LAUGHING AT ME? AM I BIG AN’ TOUGH? JESUS IS SAT ON HIS CRUCIFIX LAUGHIN’ OVER MY BED!

‘You’ll need stitches to stop that bleedin’, we’ll need to keep an eye on it and see how ya go. Yer gunna be in a lotta pain sittin’ down an’ goin’ restroom bu’ we’ll medicate that. Do ya want to fill out a report for the Warden?’

NO NO NO.  NEVER.  WON’T CHANGE A FUCKIN’ THING.  YA DON’T WANNA KNOW, YA DON’T CARE, I DON’T EVEN WANNA SAY IT AGAIN. DON’T LOOK AT ME MOTHERFUCKER.

And however much it’s unlikely to ever happen all over again now that I’m wiser, more experienced, got a name for myself, I’ll NEVER stop second-guessin’ that the next time I’m in the slammer, or the next time, OR THE NEXT TIME, or even on these mean fucked-up streets I’ll be back there in that pain and humiliation. I’ll be force-fed reasons to mistrust strangers an’ reasons t’hate authority ALL OVER AGAIN though that damage is already done.

I BEEN A VICTIM, FUCKERS. I KNOW THAT PAIN. SOLITARY PLEASE! SOLITARY, MY PROTECTION, MY ANGEL!”

[honestsycrets]

No Thieves Welcome XV: Find Your Voice

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | reader takes part of the ragnarssons out to go dress shopping where hvitserk notices something peculiar…

❛  warnings | verbal argument

❛ sy’s notes | it begins.

Hvitserk didn’t mean to tune out talk of fancy ass suits. First, the blue one that made his skin crawl, then the vest that made him feel like a straight out blueberry. He had so many other things on his mind then stuffy ties that would cut off his breathing. Some masochistic motherfucker had come up with suits. He was fully ready to jump out of this shit as soon as he put it on. It was tight. Really tight.

“Shit, uncle.” He sneers, waving his fingers to snap Rollo’s hand from the tie that was making him choke. They snap back.

The light in his uncle’s eyes glistened almost pridefully of his nephew. Hvitserk let you tend to these ins and outs of picking an outfit to complement yours. With the help of his family of course. Rollo suggested no more blueberries, thank fuck. This was the nicest you’d see him, he barked earlier. The moment he was home he’d probably flick the suit off for his joggers and comfortable hoodies.

“Keep still,” his uncle says, drawing the tie into a knot that sits just “right” against his throat. “We’re almost done.”

“You keep still.” Hvitserk huffs, breath hitching in his throat. He flicks his fingers in agitation at his uncle. Stupid prom, he thinks. “At least I fuckin’ got some with her dress. I ain’t gettin’ shit stuck here with you.”

“You fucked her in the dressing room?” Rollo states, dully.

“It’s not fuckin’ if I just had a snack.”

“Of course you did.” Rollo turns his head. “You’re a Ragnarsson. Just like your father and I, Sigurdarsons. We fucked Lagertha in--”

“I don’t wanna know.” Hvitserk rushes out, erasing that mental image from his head. Not that Lagertha was a bad looking woman, in fact, his milf kink had to come somewhere. Though, he’s not sure if that was his barefoot and pregnant mother that grew his attraction to mothers or Lagertha’s single mom do it all, fuck you attitude that--

“Baby?”

You’re at the door. He smoothes over the sleek, dark suit. It’s a lot of black. From the smooth slacks towards the tight charcoal vest that sits on top of a black belt. He bends his head down, smoothing his hand over the deep blue button up. Then bending his head he looks down to his scratched up sneakers. With a squeak of his shoes, he steps out of the room.

“Hey…” He whispers. Your hands wander over his arms, accented by his skinny suit. Your glossy lips part, a warm puff of breath marking your excitement. Hvitserk brings his hand up, curling your dyed lock of hair around his fingertips. “What do you think?”

It’s incredible. It’s hot. It’s sexy.

Had you said it?

Your cheeks heat, turning your hand down his pantleg. Hvitserk jerks, almost unexpectant of your fingers massaging his shaft as soon as you found it behind the smooth slacks. You tippy toe, kissing just under his ear by his jaw.

“It’s so good baby.” You say, giggling until your eyes catch Rollo’s smug smile behind his nephew. You flutter your eyelashes and settle back flat upon your feet. Hvitserk’s hand lurches around your waist, stroking your stomach with his thumb. His sweet twins.

“Finally like it?” He asks.

“All but for the shoes.”

“Gimme a hit of that fine ass and I’ll think about it.” Hvitserk remarks.

“It’s still a no.” You sing and stop walking on tile. You turn to look at him with annoyance by propping your eyebrows up on your forehead. By the time you reach the area where Magnus was up on a slightly elevated black platform, Hvitserk flings up his hands, squeaking to a stop.

“What?” He laughs. “I went from having a lotta ass-- to no ass.”

“You get plenty of kittie.”

“It’s not the same.” He says, whining in some regard before looking to his brothers. Ubbe and Bjorn fuss over their brother while Ivar and Sigurd are nowhere in sight. Bjorn straightens out his suit jacket while Magnus cringes with an unctuous look splashed across his face. Rollo clips behind the two of you and settles in his seat. Without prompting, you leave Hvitserk’s side and step up to Magnus. He’s fiddling with his hands despite his mouth having gone dry, anxious with all of  his brother’s eyes on him.

This is the family that he always longed for. Being adopted left him without a family for so long. Aethelred and Alfred were good… a great, awesome family. But it wasn’t the same. It felt different when they were there together.

“It looks good.” You reassure Magnus, taking his hands in yours to soothe the frantic shake. Hvitserk stands back, watching the sensation of peace sooth him like a wave, almost emanating. He blinks, slow and cautious past the familiar… anxiety brewing in his belly. The spike of hate from someone… touching you. Magnus is ensconced in the moment that he felt robbed of. What if--

No. You didn’t love Magnus.

You didn’t want Magnus.

A moment later, bitter iron spills into his mouth. His meaty inner cheek burns with a raw ache. The squeaking of Rollo’s chair causes him to twitch, looking down from Magnus’s face down to your hands in his. He catches himself in a long season of quiet, his gaze still upon his half-brother’s slender hands. Then, he catches something beyond his aforementioned jealousy.

A scar. Almost a fissure scratching down from the web of his thumb and index finger. Hvitserk outlines subsequent scars with his eyes not once, or twice, but over and over. They… aren’t what he thinks they are. The small scratches, almost like claws, are just happenstance. He could be cutting and that, Hvitserk thinks, would be preferable to what he suspected.

“Let’s get measured.”

Thora’s gurgling.

Ubbe comes to stand beside him, arms folded one over another. He shakes Hvitserk. It almost causes him to stagger. Magnus steps off the platform and toward the dressing rooms with jaunty steps.

Her cold, lifeless eyes. Almost a shell.

“Hvit-- Yeah.”

He cuts off his brother, baring you a short smile as he curtails with sluggish and languid steps back to the dressing rooms.

I’ll be in with you two shortly, claims the short chubby man off to fetch his things. Hvitserk sits against the wall watching his brother. His anxious eyes crease into small crescent moons, fakely sweet.

“How did you get them?”

Magnus flicks his head back, curls bouncing. “What?”

“How did you get those fuckin’ scars on your gotdamn hands.” It’s a statement. Accusatory. Hvitserk knows that his brother is rebounding an answer when he doesn’t immediately answer. It’s almost as if he’s debating which of his two or three so-called excuses will sound the most believable.

“I-- I-- Margrethe.” He blurts out at once. “Margrethe needed help.”

Good one. Half believable. Blame the crazy woman, Hvitserk thinks. If he were Bjorn, maybe he would eat it. Ubbe and he had serious doubts about his paternity. It wasn’t as if the stripper of strippers, Queen Kwenthrith hadn’t been with enough men in her lifetime.

“Help with what?”

The words sour. Hvitserk staggers up to leer down at the smaller of his brothers. There’s no talk of bowling or sweetness between brother and brother. This time, there’s only the spite left on his tongue. Where oh where is that suit attendant now?

“Cat.” He blurts out. Except, Margrethe didn’t have a cat. Or, if she did, not anymore.

Hvitserk leans back, raising his head to look down in indignant annoyance at his brother. He tries to reason with himself. Not here, not now. You were out there. You would be there to hear if his little fuckface cried wolf. If there was one thing that Hvitserk was certain of… it was that you were not going to break up with him again. Not over this little bitch in front of him. He cracks a smile.

“I bet you miss (Y/N), don’t you?” Hvitserk drawls out with an intuitive smile. “You haven’t seen her in a long time.”

“You’ve been hogging her,” he says in a click of his tongue. Hvitserk’s head tilts, looking for the expression behind his flaxen curls. The shadows of his hair hides it from him.

“Boyfriends do that. I’m the one she wants. When she wakes up in the morning, it's me. When she sleeps, it’s me. And when she motherfucking gives birth, guess whose babies those are?”

Magnus clicks his dry throat as he attempts to swallow, backing up until his back hits the faux wall. In a bode of confidence, Magnus looks up, biting the tears that bubble at the side of his eyes. He frowns at the thought. Oh, Hvitserk can see it in his eye. His breathing hitches and he swallows it, dropping his hand back to sway against the wall behind him.

“Yo-- You’re just a boyfriend,” he dares say. “She doesn’t ne--need a boyfriend.”

“With twins?” Hvitserk draws out a deep laugh. “You’ve never had kids, huh? No siblings? No, right… I forgot, your mother is dead. You’ve never had any. In fact, I’m not altogether sure you’re even my brother.”

Hvitserk wins when the tears stream over Magnus’s round cheeks, dripping down onto the suit that Bjorn said looked so right for him. If there was ever a warning, here it was. He considers Magnus with a sharp look. Hvitserk knows. He’s spent too long, way too long waiting to do this. He should have put Magnus in his place and kept this bubbling idiot in his place long ago.

“She needs me. So I’m makin’ her my wife before she pushes out my fuckin’ kids.”

“N-No.”

“Say that again.” Hvitserk’s head turns, twisting so close now that Magnus can feel the brush of his lips against his, spitting with his hate for him. There’s a knock on the door, two rasps before the man clears his throat. He feels the weight of Hvitserk’s words, the threat behind it. Still, he carries on.

“I said no.”

@igetcarriedawaywithyou, @kylobien, @titty-teetee, @breathlessouls, @nejijjeoroo, @bcat1291, @readsalot73, @mslothbrok, @captstefanbrandt, @ailucascen, @michaeliskindahot, @cbouvier23, @naaladareia, @cbouvier23, @the-geeky-engineer, @lisinfleur,  @tephi101, @akamaiden, @ethereallysimple, @venusloviing, @happylittlepuppydog, @beyond-the-ashes, @slutforrpg, @sparklemichele, @alicedopey, @lif3snotouttogetyou, @noregretsandyeteveryregret, @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @deathbyarabbit, @unacceptabletatertots, @beyond-the-ashes (no sig), @babypink224221, @ivarandersen, @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @icarus-fell-in-spring, @end-of-night, @gruffle1, @lol-haha-joke @arses21434,  @smileyparrots, @miss-artemis-wild, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @wonderwoman292, @wish-i-was-a-mermaid, @killerb00sdeath, @heartbeats-wildly, @boo20017, @acacheofstrange, @shaelyn102,  @smokealone, @shaelyn102 @laketaj24, @peaceisadirtyword, @ly--canthrope @cris101071 @daughterofthenight117 @unassumingviking @ladyofsoa, @inforapound @winchesterwife27 @two-unbeatable-beaters, @igetcarriedawaywithyou, @kylobien, @titty-teetee, @breathlessouls, @nejijjeoroo, @bcat1291, @readsalot73, @mslothbrok (no mix), @romanchronicles, @captstefanbrandt, @ailucascen, @michaeliskindahot, @naaladareia, @cbouvier23, @the-geeky-engineer, @dorned, @lisinfleur, @tephi101, @akamaiden, @ethereallysimple, @venusloviing, @happylittlepuppydog, @beyond-the-ashes, @slutforrpg, @hipsternoionlylikeunicorns, @mixedwiththemoon, @sparklemichele, @alicedopey, @lif3snotouttogetyou, @rubyquartzshades, @noregretsandyeteveryregret, @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @deathbyarabbit, @unacceptabletatertots, @beyond-the-ashes (no sig), @babypink224221, @titty-teetee, @ivarandersen, @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @icarus-fell-in-spring, @piebytheocean, @strangunddurm, , @rekdreams247, @justacrush, @ivarswonderlust, @peachesnpisces, @elenawrit, @equalstrashflavoredtrash, @roxxck, @dylanowhyyien, @ilvebeenabad, @vikingsmania, @huntingbears, @my-little-wolfe, @seize-the-droid, @moondustmemories, @colourmeinblue, @ilvebeenabad, @queenmissfit,  @hallowed-heathen, @neeadinghugs, @mblaqgi, , @triumphantreturnofpies, @dmv49, @attorneyl, @iconicvaleria-blog, @lovelynerdytraveler, @tierneygonzalez, @zabee113, @meganjudee, @sdcyumyum, @ms-allenbrown, @pancake-blonde, @ivarswickedqueen, @starkiddreamer, @austenkingmylady, @pinkrockstar19, @jeowjungkook, @end-of-night, @yaminax-kuss-a , @gruffle1, @arses21434@natalie-rdr, @tempt-ress, @thevikingsheaux, @poisonedjoinery, @smokealone, @chewythecatus, @laughinglikenialler, @lefrenchfrye, @mybarnesmyhero, @vengefulflange, @imcreepininyourheartbabe, @therealmrshale, @that-goodgirl, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @athroatfullofglass

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Six Baudelaires AU, Part Three {AO3} {Masterlist} {Part One} {Part Two}

Chapter Thirty → in which the Baudelaires have had ENOUGH

“Row faster, orphans!” 

Violet shook her head. “No. We’re fixing Lilac’s bandages. Sit down and wait, jackass motherfucker shitbag.” 

It had been quite a while since they’d set off in the boat. Olaf spent most of his time gloating and bragging, but honestly, the kids had stopped listening after about hour one, and were focused on making sure the youngest two didn’t fall over the edge of the boat, Lilac’s wound stayed closed, and none of them strangled the Count and bloodied the edge of the boat. 

At the moment, Nick was leaning against Klaus’s arm, only shaking slightly as he helped Violet reset the bandages. Lilac was protesting, saying something about how she was fine and they could probably just let her do it, but Soli just put a hand on her face and said, “Shh,” and Lilac sighed and shut up. 

“I finally have the Baudelaire fortune!” Olaf ranted, cheering as he spun around the boat. “I removed that stupid Carmelita II nameplate so the ship is now The Olaf, as it should be! Everything is going my way! I want to buy a car and crash into people! Orphans, take us to the nearest car dealership!” 

“We’re in the middle of the fucking ocean, assface.” Klaus said. 

“And we’re not rowing anywhere for you, we’re waiting til either we land somewhere or die of starvation.” Nick said, glancing at the bottom of the boat. “Whichever comes first.” 

“I think you all are forgetting,” Olaf approached them darkly, “That I am in charge, and-” 

The Baudelaires shared a look, and then Violet and Nick leapt forwards. Nick gave him a swift kick to the stomach, sending him backwards, and Violet slammed his head against the wood. As he gasped, Nick leapt forwards and ripped his knife from his belt, tossing it to Klaus, while Violet found the harpoon gun under the seat and slid it to Solitude.  

“I think you are forgetting, prickhead,” Violet said, “That there’s way fucking more of us than there are of you.” 

Nick straightened, smiling a little, and he added, “We’re the ones in charge.” 

“You’re just a little bitch.” Solitude said, watching as Babbitt ducked towards the water to try and drink. 

“And the only fucking reason,” Lilac said, sitting up and grimacing as her stomach wound flared up, “That we haven’t thrown you overboard already is that we might need bait to catch larger fish to eat.” 

“So,” Klaus said, “I suggest you either help us row, or sit the fuck down and pray we get to shore before we get tired of your ass.” 

“Cazzo,” Sunny said, which meant, “Which won’t be long, dickhead.” 

Olaf stared at them, and they were pleased to see a flash of fear in his eyes. “Y-you’re forgetting,” he stumbled, reaching back to put a hand on the diving helmet, “That I have the medusoid mycelium! I can release it-” 

“Then do it.” Nick said. 

Lilac gave him a glare, and put her arms around Soli and Sunny. “I’d like to see you try.” 

They all stared at him, almost daring him. “Do it.” Klaus said. 

“We don’t have anything left, you piece of bastard shit.” Violet said. “And at least we’d get to watch you die, too.” 

Olaf froze, shocked at the cold, hard stares he received from each Baudelaire. They didn’t think he would. But they wouldn’t care if he did. 

“You… you’re too noble.” he said quietly. “You wouldn’t allow someone to die.” 

“We’re chef’s salads.” Sunny said. 

Olaf opened his mouth to say something, and then he froze, staring over their heads. 

“Well,” he said, “It looks like the tide has turned and a storm is brewing.” 

Nick narrowed his eyes. “You know what? Shut up, bastard-” 

“He meant that literally.” Solitude said, looking behind them and slowly grabbing Babbitt. 

They turned, and realized, just then, how many storm clouds were on the horizon. 

And also that a giant wave was headed right for them. 

“Fuck.” Klaus said, just as it hit. 

The storm at sea was definitely not a pleasant one. Nick grabbed tight onto Solitude, hugging her close as the boat swung around like a pinwheel, and the sails tore and rain pounded upon the siblings so much that they were not sure whether they were underwater yet or not, and lightning struck the mast of the boat, splitting it in two, and only missing Lilac because Klaus pushed her to the side. The waves burst into the air, ten times the size the Baudelaires were used to, and the splashes and droplets hit them, so cold that they thought for a while it might be ice. 

And then, with a deafening crack, the boat split, and the Baudelaires found themselves tossed to the waves. 

Lilac awoke on the beach, feeling again like she was on fire. 

She groaned and rolled over, her hair falling across her face as she felt sand underneath her. Her dress was soaked, her hair was wild… 

She was alone! 

Lilac tried to sit up, only for her stomach to remind her none-too-gently that she’d been cut only recently. She doubled over, but she still managed to get up enough, and she tried to yell for her siblings, but she was having enough trouble breathing as it was.

“Lilac! Lilac!” 

Lilac looked up, tears at the edge of her eyes. 

The voice grew more panicked. “Lilac? Nick! Klaus! Soli! Sunny!” 

Lilac finally gasped out, “Violet!” 

There was a pause, and then she felt someone throwing themselves at her back. 

“Lilac!” came Violet’s cracked voice, and Lilac gasped. “Oh, shit! Sorry, sorry! I was so scared you- do you need help?” 

Violet moved to be in front of her sister, checking her over, and Lilac said, “I’m fi-” before coughing quite a bit. 

“It’s okay. Here.” Violet put an arm under her shoulder, helping her stand. “Lean on me. We’ve got to find the others.” 

“Where are we?” Lilac blinked, glancing around at the sea surrounding them. “I don’t see land- what-” 

“A coastal shelf.” Violet said. “Nick! Klaus! S-” 

“We’re here!” Lilac breathed a sigh of relief as, Nick and Klaus ran into view, each carrying a shaking toddler. Their clothes were a wreck, and their hair was a mess, but they looked uninjured. 

“Babbitt’s here, too.” Solitude said, nervously patting her pocket. “But they’re sleeping.” 

“Thank God.” Lilac started to cry, and Klaus ran to help support her. “Oh, thank God.” 

“This place is a dump.” Nick said, stepping over scattered rope and half an anchor. 

“It’s a beach after a storm, Nick, what’d you expect?” Violet said. 

“Birds!” Sunny said, gesturing at the soaring seagulls. 

“Birdcage.” Solitude said, flinching as she pointed at a cage just a few feet from them, half-buried in the sand. “Not a lotta good memories there.” 

“We need to get somewhere safer.” Klaus said. “Coastal shelves are usually near an island.” 

“Then we just need to walk somewhere.” Nick said, glancing around. “Which direction?” 

“Anywhere, honestly.” Klaus said. “And- oh, shit, there’s the bitch.” 

They followed his gaze and then walked forwards. Several feet from them lay Count Olaf, unconscious in the sand. 

“He looks dead.” Sunny said. 

“God, I hope he’s dead.” Violet said. 

“I don’t, I wanted to kill him.” Nick said. 

As they approached, they groaned with annoyance as Count Olaf then sat up, coughing slightly. He glanced around, and as his eyes landed on the children, he said, “Where am I? Where’s my diving helmet?” 

“Coastal shelf.” Klaus said. 

“We ate it.” Solitude said. 

Olaf groaned. “Get me some coffee, orphans! I had a very unpleasant evening, and I’d like a nice, hearty breakfast before deciding what to do with you.” 

“There’s no coffee.” Lilac said. “We’re going to find an island.” 

“You’ll go where I’ll tell you to go!” Olaf said. “I’m the captain, and you’re my henchpeople!” 

“Naw, bitch.” Sunny said. 

“Need we remind you that we can beat the shit out of you if necessary?” Violet said. 

“I think your weapons are all gone, assface.” Klaus said. 

“So you can come with us, or stay on the coastal shelf.” Solitude said. 

“See how long it takes you to starve.” Lilac said. 

Then they headed down the coast, and after a moment, Olaf reluctantly followed. 

“Stab?” Sunny whispered. 

“Maybe later. Let’s find out where we are first.” Violet whispered back. 

They walked forwards for some time, occasionally glancing back to make sure Olaf hadn’t grabbed a weapon, but he seemed too busy grumbling under his breath to think of something like that. 

After a while, Sunny shouted, “Land ho!” and pointed into the mist, and the Baudelaires could see the shape of a narrow island ahead, with what looked like white cloth billowing on the beach. 

“I’ve discovered an island!” Olaf cackled. “I’m going to name it Olaf-Land!” 

“You didn’t discover the island, there’s people already living here!” Lilac said. 

“And they’ll worship me as their king!” Olaf said. 

“Someone’s coming.” Solitude said, pointing forwards. 

Indeed, a small figure was emerging from the mist. Olaf went on about how one of his subjects was approaching, but the Baudelaires didn’t care to listen. “Maybe it’s another survivor of the storm.” Nick said quietly. 

The figure got closer, skipping quite quickly, and they could see it was a young girl, maybe six or seven years old. She was wearing a white robe, so clean that she could not have been in the storm, and a belt that held a white seashell. She was playing with a pair of sunglasses that looked very much like the ones the Baudelaires wore for their concierge disguise. She was grinning, but when she approached the Baudelaires, she suddenly looked very shy. 

“Hello.” Lilac wanted to kneel down to get eye-level with her, but unfortunately she couldn’t do so without losing her balance, and Violet still had an arm under her to keep her standing. Instead, she contented herself by giving the girl an encouraging smile, as she asked, “What’s your name?” 

“Friday.” said the girl. 

“Do you live on the island, Friday?” Lilac asked. 

“Yes.” the girl nodded. “I got up early this morning to go storm scavenging.” 

“What’s ‘storm scavenging’?” Solitude asked. 

“Every time there’s a storm, everyone in the colony gathers everything that’s collected on the coastal shelf.” Friday said. “One never knows when something will come in handy. Are you castaways?” 

“I guess we are.” Violet said. 

“My name is Lilac Baudelaire.” Lilac introduced. “And these are my siblings- Violet is helping me stand, because I’m a bit injured.” 

“From the storm?” Friday asked. 

“Not exactly.” Lilac flinched. “That’s Klaus, holding Sunny, and Nick, holding Solitude.” She turned reluctantly to Olaf, who was suspiciously glaring at Friday. “And this is-” 

“I am your King!” Olaf announced in a grand voice. “Bow before me, Friday!” 

“No, thank you.” Friday said politely. “Our colony is not a monarchy. You must be exhausted from the storm, Baudelaires. It looked so enormous from shore that we didn’t think there’d be any castaways this time. Why don’t you come with me and find something to eat?” 

“That’d be amazing.” Nick said. “Thank you, Friday.” 

“Do castaways arrive here often?” Klaus asked. 

“From time to time.” Friday shrugged. “Mother says that everything eventually washes up on our shores.” 

“The shores of Olaf-Land, you mean!” Count Olaf said. “I discovered this island, so I get to name it!” 

Friday put the sunglasses on and peered at Olaf curiously. “You must be confused, sir. People have lived on this island for many, many years.” 

“Primitive people.” Olaf said. “I don’t see any houses.” 

“Houses get blown away during the stormy season.” Friday said. “So we live in tents, which provide nice ventilation during the hot season.” She sound out ventilation very slowly, as if she’d just learned the word. 

“I still say you’re primitive, and I don’t listen to primitive people.” Olaf said. 

“Then don’t.” Nick said. “You can stay here if you want, bi-” he glanced at Friday, unsure of what words to say in front of her. “-you can stay here, jerk. We’re going with Friday.” 

“You won’t go with some foolish child who won’t bow before her king!” Olaf then reached into the sand, and the Baudelaires gasped as he pulled out his harpoon gun. They all stepped in front of each other, and Lilac reached out her hand to grab Friday, but the child just stood there, unreacting. “Bow before me or I will fire this harpoon gun at you!” 

Friday just stared, and then she said calmly, “In a few minutes, all the inhabitants of the island will be out storm scavenging. They’ll see any act of violence you commit, and you won’t be allowed on the island. Please point that weapon away from me.” 

Count Olaf opened his mouth as if to say something, and then shut it again, and sheepishly lowered the weapon. The Baudelaires glanced at it, and noticed that he only had one harpoon left. Not very good for defending himself. 

“Baudelaires, please come with me.” Friday said. “I’ll show you where there’s food, and we can get you changed out of those clothes. Lilac, we have a doctor here who can help with that.” she pointed to the bandage. 

“What about me?” Olaf asked, his voice a little squeaky. 

Friday gave him another look, and then firmly said, “Go away.” 

She took Lilac’s hand, then, and showed the Baudelaires where to head. 

And once Friday turned around, Soli and Sunny both flipped off Olaf as they left.

[william-bitch-blake]

This isn’t anything pretty or poetic, it’s absolutely a vent piece because I’m sick and I’m upset about it. Mind ahead, there’s a lot of profanity and a possible dysphoria trigger (specifically for ftm/trans masc people) regarding chests, as well as a mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

An Ode to the Motherfucking Flu

I’m sick of being sick I’m tired of being tired I wanna go back to normal when I’m normally fuckin wired

I feel so unproductive I feel so out of control This kind of continuous lapse in judgement is pretty fuckin unusual For me Cause I like to think through what I do I like to be aware of my actions You know what-

Chest contractions can fuck off I’m done with bein done in I’m exhausted with all this exhaustion I’m so fuckin frustrated I wrote a damn poem - Or is this a song?  Who knows Either way it’s got no flow, hah

Fuck I’m goddamn out of it All my thoughts feel irrelevant, insignificant, utterly unimportant Less relevant than Ricegum is, hm That line sounded better in my head

I’m sick and fuckin tired of being so fuckin groggy This wouldn’t be as bad if my head weren’t so fuckin foggy But it is I can’t think And as conceited as it sounds As pretentious, contentious, all around like I am sucking my own goddamn dick- As uppity as it sounds I value my mind the most I can’t fuckin work without it I can’t fuckin live the life I want without it I feel like a fuckin prick just writing that down, but that’s the truth so blow me bro I guess I dunno

I’m so fuckin sick of being tired I wanna have something on my mind that’s not how uncomfortable I am in my attire- Attire that keeps me alive, by the way I’d die without my binder

I need that shit, it flattens my fucing tits That’s another fuckin thing I hate about my stupid dysfunctional body It’s got breasts Like the wrong kind Like the kind that can’t ever bring me any peace of mind as much as I fucking Hope and Pray  I want a flat chest! Cause i’m a fucking man But I do girl push ups I have bad joints though, it’s more my hips fault than mind - A lotta things are my hips fault At least they didn’t get me sick

I’m still fucking mad at that 4 days goin on 5 I haven’t done jackshit I feel like a fucking failure I feel so goddamn stupid Why can’t I go to school through the cramps, the aches, the migranes the congestion and the nausea-  The fuckin IB kids can

So am I just a wimp? Am I a coward that’s too comfortable in my idiotic irrelevance?  I don’t know, I can’t say But I’ll be honest with you, either way I’m still fuckin pissed that I’m sick The flu can suck my nonexistent 11 inch motherfucking dick

My fucking glands are swollen My fucking hands are frozen My goddamn motherfucking cocksucking eyes are closing Cause I’m so fucking tired I wish I could go back to normal when I’m normally fuckin wired

I just wanna do shit! I wanna kiss my fuckin boyfriend  I wanna spend ten  minutes not thinking about my own end - I’m a hypochondriac, did you get that?  Probably.  I wanna sing a fucking song about being suicidal  Cause I am sometimes I wanna get high out of my fuckin mind I wanna get totally fuckin plastered  I wanna run the fuck around listening to music that’s way too fucking loud I wanna steal a fuckin stop sign while smoking cigarettes and screaming bullshit at the top of my goddamn lungs!

But I couldn’t, even if that were fuckin true My lungs fucking hurt My throat does too I couldn’t scream if I wanted to  I have the fucking flu

[parabellum-rpg-archive]

Congratulations, Joss! You’ve been accepted to play Aaron Murphy (previously Aaron Khan, last name changed to fit the new FC’s ethnicity). Your request to change his FC to Bob Morley has also been approved. Please make your page and send it in within 24 hours.

Admin note: Joss, you’re absolutely flawless. You make it very easy to fall in love with your writing, and you’ve given Aaron so much depth! I can’t wait to see him on the dash! - Admin V

IC INFORMATION —

CHARACTER DESIRED Aaron Khan DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER IN YOUR OWN WORDS If you told Aaron to turn out his pockets and show what he’s accomplished in life, you might see it as just empty hands, but to him, being a dealer is the only thing he’s ever been really good at. He’s got learning disabilities, dyslexia and ADHD, that prevented him from ever really settling into a normal life or doing well in school, but when it comes to weed, he’s a fucking prodigy. He can tell the weight of a bag just by looking at it or holding it, he can tell from the smell if product is good or not, and he knows how to spot an undercover cop at 100 yards. His greatest skill is in being able to read his customers. He can tell from the moment you approach him what strain you’re going to need, how much, and what you’re willing to pay. He’s friendly, never tries to force you to be his friend, and always stands by his product. If weed were legal, he might be paying taxes and living the good life at a cannabis dispensary. As it is, he’s the guy on everyone’s cell phone under “Aaron Green”. People usually assume when you say your home life was bad that someone was smacking you around or there was no food, maybe your parents were junkies or crackheads. But it doesn’t have to be that dramatic to be bad. Sometimes your family can just forget you exist. Aaron was one of eight kids and none of them ever really had a chance. He disappeared in among his siblings so that no one ever noticed when he never came home at night. His home was loud, but there was never any real love in it. His parents were immigrants who’d come to America as children and never gotten out of the ghetto neighbourhoods of Detroit. They never had enough money and worked all the time, and when they came home, they would just stare blankly at their children, as if to say, “are you still here?” Aaron doesn’t think they were ever even in love; certainly the photographs never show people who looked happy to be together. Sometimes he lets himself wonder if they were like him, with dreams that they could never achieve and a burning need to do something, and if they just got beaten down by life, but it’s not like he can ask anymore. Chicago was the farthest Aaron could get from Detroit on the money he’d saved up, and it seemed like a town that still had hope, while Detroit was just dying slowly around him. He had a cousin there whose couch he crashed on (Aaron has cousins everywhere, they come out of the woodwork whenever one of them needs somewhere to crash), and a few job possibilities lined up, but he’d get itchy if he got stuck working behind a counter or washing dishes or shifting mail around, needing more stimulation than entry-level jobs provided. If he’d had the money to do training in a trade or something, maybe he could’ve done something with his hands that kept him occupied, or trained to be a tech expert, since he loves video games and can play them for hours if need be. Instead, he asked his dealer if the guy could hook him up with a gig, and one thing led to another. Working for the Costellos is mildly terrifying at times, but it feeds that part of him that needs to move and stay active. He doesn’t deal anything too hard, just weed and some party drugs, and he’s a favourite of club kids and college students for the quality of his product and his innovations when it comes to packaging and branding. He’ll wake up in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea about a new line of edibles like peppermint chocolates for the on-the-go buyer who doesn’t want to overindulge, or flavoured strains of CBD oil laced with hash to give a smooth high without any paranoia, or making their own line of e-liquids for vapes (something he’s very into, do not get him started on the unfair legislation around vaping rights), and spend the next three days making it happen only to crash once his latest masterpiece is complete. He could probably survive without a roommate at this point (though he’d have to live somewhere shady to do so and he’s become a little too comfortable to move back to the hood), but he used the excuse of needing one to let Corinna into his life. She’s the first person he’s lived with that he doesn’t feel anything but uncomplicated affection for, and the idea of having friends that you’re not either also selling to or working for is new and interesting for him. He’s a genuinely nice person (more so when baked but also overall), and he’s always happy to share his groceries or just sit up with her and listen to her talk. He may even someday tell her about his family, though that remains a subject he doesn’t address.   WRITING SAMPLE “Hey, man-bun!” Aaron turned around by reflex, even though someone yelling anything at you out of the blue was, at best, 50/50 gonna be a shitty situation. “That’s what your mom called me last night. At least I think that’s what she was saying, there was a lotta moaning going o-” Aaron didn’t get to finish his sentence, the punch catching him straight in the jaw. He looked like he could handle himself in a fight, but his muscles were all for show. Staggering back, he checked to see if all his teeth were still there. That was one thing that hadn’t gone wrong yet. “You sold me bad shit, motherfucker! Gimme my money back, or I’m gonna end you!” If this had been back in Detroit, Aaron might have taken this conversation more seriously, especially because he’d just gotten punched in the face, but this was Chicago, and he worked for the Costellos. Some little trust fund baby wasn’t gonna roll up on him and try and get a fucking refund. “That’s a shame. You still got the stuff? I’ll trade it in for new shit.” They were outside a bar in Costello territory, and the guy squaring up at him looked like he rowed every day and ate ivy for a living. Sure, he was dressed like he was living that thug life, but c'mon, no one’s teeth were that straight in Chiraq. That was the problem with cities like this, everyone thought they could front. Nobody in the suburbs would’ve even bothered, they’d have probably said please and thank you, but out here, people watched too many movies and thought you had to act like an OG. His friend, cuz of course he had a friend, punks like this never tried anything when it was a fair fight, just stood slightly off to the side and switched between grinning and sneering. “Are you fucking stupid? Did you hear me? Gimme my fucking money now! You’re lucky I don’t call my boys down and fuck your shit up for giving me lousy stuff!” It had gotten to the point where Aaron wasn’t really a street dealer primarily anymore, he was the guy you called when you needed something. He did deliveries and hung out at parties and clubs. When you were selling a product people wanted, you didn’t have to pound the pavement to sell it. But he was doing another favour for Holden. Aaron always did favours for Holden, no matter how many times the other man asked. He couldn’t help it. And normally he could spot an asshole a mile off and choose to refuse service, but Holden needed his quota to stay up, so Aaron had been a little too liberal with his sales tonight. Figures he’d get punched on his night off. “Like I said, I can do a trade if you’re unhappy with the product, but this isn’t a Target, man. We don’t do refunds. So hand over the shit, and I’ll give you some primo Afghani Kush. I’ll even top up the bag free of charge, cuz I wanna preserve our relationship.” The kid wasn’t having any of it. “I already smoked it and it did jackshit! I’m not even high! We even mixed it with some coke and it did fucking nothing!” Oh boy. So on top of assholes, they were idiots too. “You can’t mix it with coke, man. That just ruins both highs. If you’d said you’d wanted something to blend with uppers, I coulda-” Aaron was prevented in continuing with his sales pitch when the kid pulled out a gun. The fucking sikik seemed to think he could draw down in public. Granted, it was a shit neighbourhood, but it was still a Neighbourhood. “C'mon guy, this is a bad move. You really wanna think this one through, you know?” This whole evening was really turning into a bummer. If he got shot by this at hırsızı, he’d never live it down. And he didn’t have health insurance. The kid’s gun didn’t waver, and his friend had pulled a piece too. Awesome. “You coulda just given me the money, now I’m gonna take everything, and I’m gonna kick your ass too, you piece of shit fag-” The conversation ended abruptly with a squealing of tires and bright lights. Aaron jumped out of the way, rolling across the sidewalk and dragging himself up when there wasn’t immediate gunfire. The kid and his friend were now lying in the road groaning in front of a red Ford pickup. The door opened and Holden got out, looking at Aaron with bewilderment. “What the hell happened?” Stumbling forward, Aaron had the sense to kick the guns away from the two kids as he limped over to the truck’s passenger side. “Just a difference of opinion, don’t worry about it. But I’m thinking we talk about moving you to somewhere a little more high-class. This neighbourhood is going to shit.” As Holden slammed into the car and peeled away, the neighbourhood returned to normal, like it had never happened. It was Chicago, weirder things happened every day. Aaron leaned his head against the glass and dug a joint out of his pocket, inserting it between his lips and expertly lighting it with his lucky Zippo. “Don’t smoke that in the car, you’ll make it reek in here.” Laughing, Aaron rolled down the window. “You’re the weirdest dealer I know, man. C'mon, night’s still young, let’s hit Lake Forest and make some money off the preps out there.” Holden, shaking his head, took the turnoff and headed for the suburb. “You ever take anything seriously, cabron?” Aaron winked. “Not unless I can’t avoid it, kaşar.”

[carnivalsoration]

Cronus Gets Tortured, and then Learns Some Stuff about Boundaries and Identity

I’m going to start all this off with an ooc description of things, because this gets pretty intense in bits. A tldr with added trigger warning, if you will. 

Ringleader messages Cronus about being an insensitive prick regarding the ‘gutterblood rights’ post, then the conversation moves on to lusus death (a la, what was going on with Meulin at the time, though she’s not mentioned directly at all), how wasteful Alternia is, and then on to torture. During that talk, there’s a lot of mentions of parent/animal death, then referring to people as objects that can be disposed of, in an abstract sense, and then obviously, Harming and Killing people, for Fun and Dubious Amounts of Profit. 

Ringleader convinces Cronus it would be no big deal to torture him for a bit, and doesn’t take no for an answer. (Manipulation, coercing, lack of respect for boundaries.) And then they meet up! Cronus is waterboarded, Ringleader is way lighter about it than he really should be, primarily in the confession he forces Cronus to make, and then they make out! Weird, but these two are who they are.

Cronus presses more, hoping for sex to happen. Ringleader says no. Cronus says ‘but whyyyy’ and Ringleader gets pissed about it. A conversation about consent and rape occurs, that leads into highblood standards, respect, and who Cronus wants to be and what he values. 

This is a Very dense log, y'all, with a lotta intense stuff. Two kinda shitty people meeting, and one of them trying to make the other Less shitty, with some admittedly poor judgement. Overall, a Dubiously happy, or at least thought provoking, ending.

Anyway! If that sounds like you would enjoy reading it, read on! If not, you now know a general plot synopsis and can avoid reading it while still knowing all relevant details! If the chat log appeals to you but the roleplay itself doesn’t, you can read that too! 

carnivalsoration honk

vwarlordvwanderlust hey there, babe!

carnivalsoration :o)

vwarlordvwanderlust vwhat's up?

carnivalsoration i will make out with you if you promise not to reblog that gutterblood pride post again.

vwarlordvwanderlust see, THIS is a bold and innovwativwe method more people should try.

carnivalsoration hahahahaha is that a yes

vwarlordvwanderlust you also could'vwe just asked. but too late, no take backs. hell yeah.

carnivalsoration hahahahahahahaha

vwarlordvwanderlust (also that's a joke. there are take backs. it's all just jokes. )

carnivalsoration good boy, thats a good ad on

vwarlordvwanderlust haha. i do my best.

carnivalsoration :o) i could explain why i don't want you to say it, if ya wanna hear it or you could guess, since i'm kinda curious

vwarlordvwanderlust i just figured it vwas annoying. you specified that particular post, and not the vword, is it the vword.

carnivalsoration it's the word and the implication it's. it's just the whole thing, brother the whole damn thing

vwarlordvwanderlust yeah? vwhat implication?

carnivalsoration for you this is an inconvenience for a bit. for other people, this is their life. you don't earn the right ta use that word by your glorified lowblood tourism

vwarlordvwanderlust huh.

> So he's not *that* Alternian. 🤔

carnivalsoration > Ooo motherfucker.

do ya get what i mean? you can't have pride about somethin that you're not even really a part of.

vwarlordvwanderlust it vwas a joke. but yeah for sure, OBVWIOUSLY.

carnivalsoration and what about it is funny? like, can you just explain it to me?

vwarlordvwanderlust it's okay to not get jokes.

carnivalsoration no, i wanna get it.

vwarlordvwanderlust it's just a dumb lowvblood thing people say, you knowv, that i'm saying, because i'm kinda a lowvblood, for nowv.

carnivalsoration huh. and that's... funny?

vwarlordvwanderlust > This is the worst thing that's ever happened.

i mean. it's just one of those things.

carnivalsoration aight.

vwarlordvwanderlust look they can't all be vwinners!!!!!!!!

carnivalsoration you reblogged it though, you thought it was pretty good

vwarlordvwanderlust vwe all havwe different tastes. anyvways.

carnivalsoration yeah. what would you do if ya lusus died?

vwarlordvwanderlust > Weird foreplay but okay. > Clowns.

be sad.

did you vwant a longer ansvwer, or did you just leavwe.

carnivalsoration oh, oops. i got distracted. but like. how much would it change your life

vwarlordvwanderlust a lot. but i mean. i'll need to leavwe him anyvways.

carnivalsoration fun fact. i killed my lusus

vwarlordvwanderlust oh. vwhy?

carnivalsoration cuz that was the tradition at the time. indigos wouldn't get orphaned before adulthood on the condition that when they became a subjug, they'd kill their lusus themselves. and so that's what happened. i hella slaughtered him. it was a mess hahaha

vwarlordvwanderlust haha. yeah.

carnivalsoration i'm just talkin at this point

vwarlordvwanderlust vwhy? i mean don't get me vwrong. i lovwe our talks.

carnivalsoration i just ponder things sometimes. i'm old, i got a lotta memories to peruse what's your alternia like?

vwarlordvwanderlust big question, chief. dunno howv to ansvwer that.

carnivalsoration how often do people murder their lusus

vwarlordvwanderlust i don't knowv. probably not a ton. seems like a vwaste.

carnivalsoration hahaha remember what i said the other night? alternia likes nothin quite so much as waste

vwarlordvwanderlust alternia is cutthroat and efficient. may not alvways be pretty, but hey. it gets the job done.

carnivalsoration hahahaha. wrong. healthcare that involves replacing limbs instead of mending. killin people for any old thing and raisin all new people, like i said. you coulda imprisoned them and got free labor. killin reproductive failures. because you can still make THEM work. that ain't efficiency.

vwarlordvwanderlust that's efficient! you don't need to deal vwith upkeep if you toss a thing in the garbage vwhen it breaks, same vwith people. mm.

carnivalsoration efficiency is using a tool as long as it's useful. killin other planets rather than enslaving them. using lowbloods as fodder in just the stupidest ways. you could have them maneuver big heavy things or control animals at the front line or whatever. also. mechanical limbs cost a lot in upkeep too, just as a bonus destroying rather than fixing is just a thing. it's all brute force casual sadism, gloating over enemies rather than just offin em. imagine all the hot babes that were offed cuz they broke an ankle. or cuz they were kinda stupid once or they puked killin somethin the first time, which is another way alternia wastes life. beaurocracy is a HUGE waste of time plus it makes ya wanna beat your brains out with the stack of paperwork ya have to do land and sea trolls in competition, which wastes highblood life on dumbass feuds underfeedin slaves and workin them to death way before their natural lifespan. food ain't that expensive

vwarlordvwanderlust evwery system has SOME flawvs.

carnivalsoration yeah, but alternia's is that it just loves waste it fuckin can't get enough of it fuck, i tortured and killed thousands of people when i coulda tortured them and then put them to work .... probably hundreds of thousands.... i wonder if i broke a million

vwarlordvwanderlust vwell. i assumed that vwas, you knowv. pleasure, not business. but vwe all havwe flavws.

carnivalsoration oh, it's both. the fact i did it for fun doesn't change the fact i was definitely expected to do it

vwarlordvwanderlust vwell the system gets stuff done.

carnivalsoration oh, the number of troll screams i heard... the number of crimes confessed.... so many confessed to crimes that we found out they didn't even commit! just to make the agony stop

vwarlordvwanderlust the probability of false confessions is actually ovwerplayed by certain rebellious type groups, it's still mostly good intel.

> You should know, you consume imperial propaganda religiously!

carnivalsoration .... i .......... i tortured them myself all the time three a night, at least for centuries there is a LOT of false confessions a LOT of time wasted researching the falsities

vwarlordvwanderlust is it most of them?

carnivalsoration oh yeah. like 70% of the info you get from any one person is likely to be false. sometimes more, sometimes less, and about 90% of the time, the truths they do tell aren't worth your time to even pursue

vwarlordvwanderlust so vwe need to be more selectivwe in vwho vwe torture and vwhat vwe ask.

> Bold of you to say we, there.

carnivalsoration i'm kinda curious where you got the info about how false confessions are overplayed OH SHIT. I SHOULD HELP YOU GET USED TO TORTURE SOUNDS

vwarlordvwanderlust okay the tone of those tvwo messages is vwildly different.

carnivalsoration i just get excited sometimes

vwarlordvwanderlust it's pretty common knowvledge used to counter rebel propaganda. the real number is like 1%. ...here, i mean. i'm not accusing you of lying. hey, maybe our timelines are different.

carnivalsoration hey, if you're so sure, i bet i could do non-destructive torture on you and get you to confess to something that isn't true.

vwarlordvwanderlust that sounds bad and not fun!

carnivalsoration one hour. it isn't even that long. plus imagine how impressed people would be to know you can withstand torture

vwarlordvwanderlust > You start typing: "okay this is vwhy evweryone assumed you're a serial k" > Hm. That last one is a good message, though.

you don't think i can.

carnivalsoration i don't think you can

vwarlordvwanderlust you're the expert, i guess.

> God it would be so fucking impressive though.

carnivalsoration but i don't know for sure, since timeline differences. i don't wanna spread false information, specially if it helps rebels

vwarlordvwanderlust > GOD THAT'S SUCH A GOOD POINT.

okay but it's gotta vwait six nights.

carnivalsoration how come?

vwarlordvwanderlust not because i'm putting it off or anything, because i'm in a rustie body.

carnivalsoration why does that matter? the people most frequently tortured are lowbloods and i did say i wouldn't damage you. no knives, no electricity, nothin

vwarlordvwanderlust huh. yeah, i guess so. vwhat'll you do?

carnivalsoration waterboard

vwarlordvwanderlust so not to be ovwerly critical but like.

are you going to cause BRAIN DAMAGE. this seems vwild.

carnivalsoration i'm an expert, would i cause brain damage in one of my friends just for kicks? look up how long the average rustblood can hold their breath. gimme that long. not even an hour, just a little bit

vwarlordvwanderlust one to tvwo minutes... vwe'll say tvwo. or three or vwhatevwer idc. you think this is THAT bad???

carnivalsoration yeah

vwarlordvwanderlust > If this guy ends up torturing you to death, even the like one person who'd care, wouldn't care after reading this conversation. This would be a dumb fucking decision. This is so stupid, you'd absolutely regret this, there's only one answer you could plausibly give.

yeah, okay.

carnivalsoration aight. i'll give ya new coordinates

vwarlordvwanderlust not gonna be a cool outdoorsy forest vwibe for this torture sesh? hahaha

carnivalsoration we could move it to inside in my block and then make out

vwarlordvwanderlust nice!

carnivalsoration right?? you get tortured, come out fine, and then get to make out. what a fuckin nice night, right?

vwarlordvwanderlust okay it's not the night you think vwill happen though. you're just humoring me. but you're vwrong, so

carnivalsoration i'll make out with you either way

vwarlordvwanderlust it vwon't come up, haha.

carnivalsoration :o* [coords.txt]

vwarlordvwanderlust > Swoon.

😘❗

vwait.

carnivalsoration :o?

vwarlordvwanderlust okay no this isn't me pussying out i promise it's just. my transportalizer pass is for like. me. so is my id. saness and mituna and people just like. got here, though.

carnivalsoration mmmm. aight, what's ya coords? also tell me where a big bathtub is

vwarlordvwanderlust okay, sorry to be all annoying. oh uh. okay yeah.

carnivalsoration chill out, i ain't fussed

vwarlordvwanderlust > This is rough, on account of, you know. Being kicked out of your hive. But it's probably best not to do it there anyways, so off you go, trespassing on abandoned properties to scope out the bathrooms. Eventually you find something good enough, fairly recently vacated, and send coordinates.

> This is going to be cool.

carnivalsoration > Fucking Arrive! You are trying not to be too excited about being able to torture someone, but you're still pretty hype. You have all the things you'll need. Plenty of water to waste, a cloth to wrap around his face, your recording app open on your phone to record when he isn't looking.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You're only about as nervous as you were before you went hunting (and that turned out so great).

> You grin and wave. This time, you lack any purple in your outfit, and your eyes are red, and you don't have fins, but you look basically the same.

"Hey there, doll. Howv's it going?"

> It's not stalling if it's just a little bit.

carnivalsoration "Pretty damn good so far. You aight gettin your clothes wet, or should we take em off?" You raise eyebrows at him a few times. Waggle.

> Don't be too eager, Makara.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You pull on your shirt, thinking about no just kidding it's always good to take off your shirt. You're vulnerable enough without taking off your pants, though.

"This alright vwith you, doll?"

> You can eyebrow waggle with the best of them. Hitting on people is good.

carnivalsoration > Touch a tit. "Nice." Hitting on people Is good.

> You pull out a scrap of fabric and smile. "Lemme blindfold ya, brother." You're thinking about things that are ridiculous enough that it'll make it funny to confess to but that he won't be offended about later.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Nice.

> See, the thing is that this is such a good and valid sexy scenario if you forget about the torture that's definitely going to happen.

"Sure, yeah."

> You cooperate with a nervous laugh.

carnivalsoration > Blindfold: On. You make sure to adjust it just right, so he can't see you. "I'm going to lead you to the tub now," you say, softly.

> And you do, gently, and telling him to mind the ledge. All you really need is a drain. And water, of course. But you've got that.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Gotcha."

> It's surprisingly disorienting, being led around a fairly unfamiliar environment blindfolded, even for such a short distance. You're already feeling a little nervous about this.

> Maybe the professional torture guy who got people to say stuff that went against their own interests knows what he's talking about with regards to torture?

> But maybe you're just an unstoppable badass. Probably that second one.

carnivalsoration > You lead him in and direct him to lay down. You're very calm and reassuring.

> And then you try to place your camera on a ledge so it peers down at Cronus, get in the tub on top of him to pin him down. You'll try to grab his wrists, place them above his head, grab them with one hand. And one of his horns too. You'll narrate your actions the whole time.

> Damn, indigos are strong when you're a rustblood, him actually resisting you is a bit like him resisting really fleshy iron.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You cooperate, maybe metaphorically dragging your heels a bit, but, oh, no you aren't, fuck this dude is strong.

> FUCK this would be hot if it wasn't for this.

> You're a little wiggly, but not like you're necessarily trying to get away (not that you could), more like you keep wanting to look around.

> It's a lot harder to keep your face casual without the reminder of eye contact, for some reason.

> It's just a couple of minutes, though! It's fine! You Have Never Been Calmer.

> (It'd be really funny if your light hyperventilating made you pass out before he did anything. Funny for some people, at least.)

carnivalsoration > Oh how fucking precious that is. He's so cute, and he doesn't even verbally object. Plausible deniability!

> You grin a little bit where he can't see. "Your three minutes starts now."

> You pull out a gallon jug of water from your dex and start pouring it over his nose and mouth. It looks so ridiculous for being as effective as it is, considering it quickly starts to feel like he's barely keeping his head above water.

"Cronus, did you make me a cookie?" You ask down sternly at him. Not loud, not aggressive per se, but definitely authoritarian.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Blblbr?!?

> Okay this is bad actually.

> You thrash a little, reflexively, but don't get far. You try to shake your head but, uh, can't.

"No--?"

> Boy the water sure just keeps happening. It's a good thing your body inherited reflexes to not breathe water, or this would have been over very fast, since you'd already be coughing it up onto the floor.

> This is a really bad thing but it's not for very long. It's fine!

> The nice thing about being tortured is you're too distracted to worry about keeping a straight face.

> The bad thing about being tortured is all the other stuff. :(

carnivalsoration > Oh, hey, he didn't immediately submit. That's fine. Patience is all you need. The water keeps up in a steady stream. "You did, didn't you. Don't lie to me, you did make me a cookie. Didn't you?!"

> A forceful tone of voice and persistence is all you need. Soon he'll be too disoriented to do much more than choke and agree with you.

vwarlordvwanderlust ==> Cronus: choke and agree with him.

> This was a terrible idea!

> (Wow, Cronus, if only there was any way of knowing that.)

> Your panicked failing gets a little more forceful, but not any more effective.

"Stop, yes--"

> You're dying, he's killing you, you're going to drown here and nobody will ever know what happened.

carnivalsoration "And just what happened to that cookie, Cronus?" You accuse. "Did you fucking eated it??" Oh messiahs bless, saying that with a straight face is so funny. So hard.

"Don't you dare fucking lie, did you Eated my Cookie?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You already said yes! You really will definitely die at his hands. AaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

"Yes, I did, stop,"

> Your lungs don't feel right, but you don't know if there's actually water in there or if you're just freaking the fuck out without haviing gills, so it feels different.

> Glub glub,

> When you get back in your right mind, you'll be mad. This is the dumbest thing imaginable

carnivalsoration > Okay, now to get to the aftercare portion so no one thinks you're evil or whatever.

> You stop pouring water, captchalogue the jug, and get out of the tub. Then you help him sit up, lean forward. "Alright, now. Cough. Get it all outta ya."

> ..... Grab your phone. Fuck you hope that recorded the right angle.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Water, water everywhere, the last thing you're ever going to feel is water-- no water.

> You're shivering, and coughing weird-- you don't know enough about this to know if it's normal for torture weird, though.

> When he gets you into a better position, you cough up a little more water than might be expected for someone else who this happened to. Probably you just tried to breathe a little more than most people.

> When you're a little less full of water, you   go for the blindfold, if he hasn't taken care of it already. Seeing is good.

carnivalsoration > Oh shit blindfold, better hide the phone! Captchaloguing is so convenient for slight of hand stuff.

> you help him with the blindfold, very helpfully, with no ulterior motives whatsoever, and then give him a little pat on the back.

"You did pretty well! Didn't beg, don't think you cried. Still definitely confessed though."

vwarlordvwanderlust > You're tearing up a little bit now, but it's probably just the coughing, because you don't feel anything about this. It's basically no big deal.

> You glare at him, looking about as threatening as a half drowned kitten.

"You tried to kill me!"

> You sound vaguely hysterical.

carnivalsoration "Nope, you weren't even close to death. If i had tried to kill you, i got a billion other different ways to do it and there'd be no try about it."

> Pat him a little more. Its okay dear Cronus, it's all okay.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Rub at your eyes with one hand and try to take deep breaths, the way you were taught to instruct a charge to do if they flipped out.

> If you actually thought it was an attempt on your life, you'd be running, for all the good it'd do you. You still think it got closer than he's saying, but.

"I'vwe gotta stop givwing myself chances to look like an idiot in front of you."

> You sound calmer, but not, you know. Calm.

carnivalsoration > You laugh a bit, waggle your brows. "I like idiots, if that helps." It probably won't. "Anyway, my respect for people ain't based on the sorta thing that you seem so down on yourself about, so you're basically in the clear on that front."

> Not on several other things, but what can ya do. If you're ringleader, try to be nice anyway.

vwarlordvwanderlust > 'You didn't look like an idiot, Cronus', would have been the correct response, but he tried.

> Hhhhhhh.

> You haul yourself shakily out of the tub.

"Thanks, babe. Good looking out. Excellent. Appreciate it."

> You look at your hands, remembering the ineffectual struggling, and shiver. But in like, a cool and nonchalant way, totally.

"Man. Rusties are, uh. Vweak, huh?"

> Not that you could necessarily beat twelve feet of clown in an arm wrestling match normally, but still.

carnivalsoration > Oh good, he actually got that little bit of empathy you tried to make happen. Yes, he is weak as a rusty, and that's how they feel all the time!

"Yeah. Bones are more fragile too. Pretty nuts, ain't it? I barely even felt you struggling."

> How much can you hammer things home before you make it obvious? .... Let's give it a try.

"Browns and yellows ain't much better, ya know. They kinda have to do whatever we want em to, one on one, unless they got real good psionic control." Which means Mituna can't easily say no to what you do, Fuckwit. .... If only you could say those words out loud. Can't seem too sympathetic, though, you're supposed to be a mean Alternian who is being nice to him for some reason.

> Plus or minus some waterboarding.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Haha, better to be on the other side of that one, I'vwe gotta say."

> Lowbloods are weak and it's funny. Not that you sound all that amused right this particular instant, but you'll be back to normal soon enough.

"Not an especially controvwersial opinion,  I knowv. Anyvways! That's good, I guess. Makes things easier to handle."

> Now you're into the fucking with your hair stage of emotional recovery, because it definitely got all messed up.

carnivalsoration > Hahaha yeah, better to be a coolblood, outnumbered a hundred to one. That's a good side to be on. Ha. Ha. Ha.

> You watch him fix his hair for several moments before you proceed to just. Fuck it up again. Ruffle ruffle ruffle.

"I won the bet. What do i get as a prize?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > Pout at him.

"C'mon, boss, vwhy you gotta be like that?"

> It's pretty fucking wild how this guy actually literally tortured you, admittedly at your request, but you're so willing to be his friend.

> You smile tentatively at the question, a far cry from your typical cocky smirk.

"I dunno, big guy. Vwhat do you vwant?"

> It COULD not be a come on, except that you kinda. Lick your lips and waggle your eyebrows. Just a little. A smidge. It's probably really casual.

carnivalsoration > You like teasing him, and you laugh when he pouts. "Ain't my fault you look cute with mussed hair."

> And then he licks his lips and waggles his brows in a way that reminds you of yourself, except that you like to go overboard with it like it's a joke so that people can brush it off without the whole thing being hella awkward.

> You chuckle a little more, tap his nose. "I'll save my spoils for another time, hmm? In the meantime, though."

> Bend over, pick him up by the ass, and just give him a big ol kiss on his lips.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Yeah, you really think it looks alright?"

> Preen. You're incredibly fucking vain, which is pretty obvious considering your everything about you, and you appreciate being called cute. Even if tough would be preferable.

> OH THIS IS A VERY GOOD THING!

> Kiss back with just a little more enthusiasm than technique, though it isn't like you're terrible. This is a good night. You should probably put your shirt back on eventually, but it's not a particularly high priority at the moment.

carnivalsoration > Oh, boi, you're always the teacher and the experienced one. Otherwise you might be annoyed to be in such a position yet again.

> .... Grope his ass, tho, check if its doin alright, and see how quick he is to learn how to make out good.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You relax into it before too long, less tongue aggression can only improve things.

> You're basically only alright.

> You nip at his lips with lowblood-dull teeth, and grin when he gropes you. You don't want to take your arms away from their position over his shoulders, or you'd return the favor.

> Nothing bad has ever happened to you and everything is great.

carnivalsoration > Oh, teeth always get a good reaction out of you, inexperienced or no. Son of a bitch, you didn't want him to actually have Power over you.

> .... Whatever.

> How long can you keep him entertained with just. A lot of making out.

vwarlordvwanderlust > :D

> Cronus Will Remember That.

> Who doesn't like teeth, though, really.

> Oh, so fucking long. For all that you claimed to be all about the orgasms earlier, you sure are happy to keep doing this!

carnivalsoration > You'll keep going for at least like five minutes. He's getting so into it, you half expect to feel something wiggling against your chest.

vwarlordvwanderlust > YOU'RE getting a little squirmy, but at least you're not an adolescent anymore, so nothing's happening downstairs. That he can feel, at least.

> ... This is really good but like. Maybe. You don't need both hands to hold yourself up.

> You try and reach for his crotch, but don't stop making out.

carnivalsoration > Your eyebrows actually raise at his bold move, and you pull away a couple so you can look at him. And look down at the reaching hand.

> Your bulge is Definitely not out.

"Lookin ta escalate, brother?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You didn't think it would be, neither is yours, but this is how you get stuff to happen! You do it!

> You stare blankly at him.

"No, vwhy do you ask?"

> You may make some questionable "jokes" about lowbloods, but your deadpan delivery is pretty good.

carnivalsoration "Cuz I'm not!" You say, with a smile and a single fingergun.

> For quite a few reasons. One of which is that you're not really In The Mood. Another, you have to ask Saness for permission.

> But, most importantly, you want to hold that particular bit of encouragement for later.

vwarlordvwanderlust > ?????????????????????????

> You look a little crestfallen, but mostly baffled.

> Maybe being tortured and then crying about it and coughing up water at someone isn't overwhelmingly sexy.

> No, that's probably not it.

> You roll your eyes, but withdraw your hand, and prepare to go back to making out.

carnivalsoration > That's fine. You are gonna just make out a while and think ya thoughts.

> How long can he even go at this before he gets bored...

vwarlordvwanderlust > Not THAT long, as it turns out. A couple minutes later, you pull back.

"Okay but are you sure?"

carnivalsoration > Bitch.

"Would I say it if I wasn't sure?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Maybe?"

> Your wide eyed innocent look isn't nearly as cute as you'd like to think, especially when it's about wanting to get in someone's pants.

"I'm just making sure, you knowv, people can change their minds, and that's okay if you ask me."

carnivalsoration "If I want to fuck you, you'll know. Because I will tell you, and then I will do it."

> Your voice isn't so friendly now.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Jeez, some people are so touchy. You'd raise your hands in surrender, but you're still a little worried that he'll drop you.

"Yeah, got it, good to knowv! It's good to be clear on stuff."

> ...Hm. Are makeouts even really the mood anymore? Why do actions have consequences???

carnivalsoration > You sigh, roll your eyes. "If you say no, what the fuck do you expect people to do? Ask you again, just to make sure?"

> Time to put the boi down. Things aren't that fun and he ruined it by being a shitheel.

vwarlordvwanderlust > :(

> This sucks.

> You pout, and the whine in your voice is definitely really cool and adult.

"I mean, I vwouldn't expect it, necessarily, but I vwouldn't make it a big deal..."

carnivalsoration > How fiercely do you have to glare to give him the full picture of the disdain you have for that whine and those words? You give it a shot for fucking sure. That is a hell of a nasty look.

"You think I'm makin a big deal out of it? I could be so much more overt with my anger and annoyance, motherfucker, I could make a real big deal outta it. My body is mine, my consent is mine, and I can do with it as little or as much as I mother fuckin please, do you understand me?"

> You step up on him with that last little bit, to loom over him. You are not pleased.

vwarlordvwanderlust > HhhhhhhHHHHHHH MAN IT'S NOT AS SEXY THAT HE'S BIG ANYMORE ACTUALLY.

> Wilt under the weight of that glare+loom combo, abruptly stepping back, hands up appeasingly.

"Hey hey, yeah, I get it."

> What's that last part you always forget? Oh, right.

"Sorry!"

> God this bastard is scary. You just want him to like you, this shouldn't be so hard!

carnivalsoration "What do you get? Tell me the lesson you learned. Don't just repeat after me, tell me why what you just said was fucked up."

> you are still looming.

vwarlordvwanderlust "You'd vwin,"

> Not probably a particularly promising start, but goddamn, this sure is the guy who tortured you VERY RECENTLY, huh.

"I get it, you can do vwhatevwer you vwant, I got it, that one vwas my bad."

> You may be the seadweller, but he's still more experienced than you, and four fucking feet taller. You stumble back another step, grinning nervously.

carnivalsoration > Ooh this motherfucker

"That ain't the POINT," you growl. "Try again. I got faith you can get this lesson. It ain't about me, it's about you."

vwarlordvwanderlust > It's not like he's pursuing you, and you feel like if you keep backing up you'll hit wall, which would really not help with the feeling safe thing, so you stop. Even though he growls, and it's fucking terrifying.

"I vwas annoying and pushy? And shouldn't be?"

> Your rising inflection makes it clear that you're definitely guessing, but at least it's an educated guess.

carnivalsoration "There's more to it than annoying." But you seem a little satisfied by that answer. "There's a lot fuckin more to it. You were pushy. People don't like bein round pushy people who don't respect their decisions. And that's the fuckin problem. You didn't respect my decision."

> How do you really drill this into him, you wonder...

vwarlordvwanderlust > Now you're a little defensive.

"I respected your decision! Look, I'm not doing anything nowv, am I?"

> Everyone always assumes the worst of you just because of all the things you do and say, and the person who you are.

carnivalsoration > Your expression gets tight and angry before you sit on the edge of the tub and put your head in your hands for half a second.

"Cronus Ampora," you say, softly. "Have you ever met someone who's been raped?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > What's. Your head snaps up to look at him, and you flush maroon, suddenly angry and upset, but still nervous. Off balance.

"I didn't-- I don't-- that doesn't havwe ANYTHING to do vwith this!"

carnivalsoration "Why not? Haven't you heard about all the people who said no, and then said yes reluctantly because they felt there would be consequences after. Or because they were pressured? And then they got fucked. When they didn't want to be. Someone's hands defiled their body and someone's bulge made them hate themselves. Have you never heard of that?"

> You look at him with deadly seriousness.

"So. Tell me. Have you ever met someone. Who has been sexually violated?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "... No. I mean, not. I don't think that's. That doesn't *happen* here."

> That kind of... crime? It's probably a crime sometimes. But it's not a Beforan thing.

> That's one of those big scary Alternian things.

> You've never heard of anything with a yes involved being called rape, though.

> You fuck with your hair more, no longer meeting his gaze.

carnivalsoration > You reach over, grab him, tug him towards you to make sure he looks you in the eyes.

"It happens everywhere. Everywhere anyone wants to have power over anyone else, or everywhere anyone feels they don't have to pay attention to the wants of anyone else."

> You look at him for two long moments of silence.

"If you ever want to meet a rape victim, keep doing what you did there. You'll make one. Violence doesn't have to be bloody or involve kicking and screaming to happen. Don't let it happen while you're not paying attention."

vwarlordvwanderlust "That's not..."

> You trail off kind of weakly.

"I vwouldn't make people do any-- I vwouldn't make people do that."

> You are, in fact, processing what he's saying, but it doesn't really sound like it, maybe.

"I'm not-- I'm a good guy!"

> The looming sensation of realizing the consequences of your past actions threatens to encroach on your feelings, but you beat that shit back with a stick. This was a rough enough night already, he doesnt need to basically call you a terrible person.

> Your voice is small and tentative when you speak next.

"Isn't it like. Important. For highbloods to, uh. Take things. If they vwant them, and they're tough and can havwe them?"

> You sound like you're trying to remember something from class, not like you're actually making an argument.

carnivalsoration > You watch him, watch expressions flit over his face as you let your words sink in. His question is an important one to figure out how to answer, you can't just say whatever comes to mind.

> It's a few moments before you respond.

"Taking things from others because you have the ability to doesn't change that it's stealing. Fucking someone because you can doesn't automatically make it consentual on their part. Conquest for someone is still torture for someone else. You can't be a good person and a victorious person at the same time, if you hurt someone to get there. People don't like someone and fear someone at the same time."

> You look at him seriously. You can't treat him like a kid, you can't treat him like a dick who doesn't matter. He's an adult who can make his own choices, and they are choices that will define him.

"You choose who you want to be. What you want to do with your power. Every choice you make opens some doors and closes others. You have more doors you can go through than lowbloods do, but but inevitably, you will define yourself by your actions. And you will define the opinions others have of you by them, and by what you do with the choices you have and the results that come of them."

> You hope he's getting the full power of your words. You definitely phrase them like they're important.

"You can take whatever you get your hands on. But shit like 'respect', like 'fondness', like bein liked, cannot be taken by force. It cannot just happen. You put effort into it, into the thoughts of feelings of others. Fear is easy to win. Disgust is easy to win. Easy to keep. Trust is what's hard to win, hard to keep. And, to me, hard things are generally worth earning."

vwarlordvwanderlust > He had you going for a second there. A while, even. You were listening with rapt attention, wide eyed, but.

> As persuasive as he is, as smart as he seems, there's an obvious hole in his argument, and he can't have missed it.

"People lovwe and fear the empress. Evweryone does. She vwants it all and she takes it, and she has it! I'm not trying to put myself on her levwel, but she's the trollish ideal."

> God, but you want to be liked.

"Do you... really believwe all this stuff?"

> You don't know what his motivations would be if he didn't, but.

carnivalsoration > You nod gravely at his question. "I speak the truth I've discovered through pain and trials, and I mean every word of it. Now, I want you to tell me something, and I want you to be thinkin real hard about yourself and about all those people you hang with."

> You raise a wry eyebrow. "Do you, personally, love the empress? Like you do, say, yourself. Or your lusus. Do you think all of your friends do? Go through em one by one, in your mind, see if you can find one that you think might not. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. But I want you to be true to yourself, at the very fuckin least."

> You'll let that sink in for a moment, while you watch him.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You think about Mituna, broken and shoved into a padded cage by her policies, and grimace. . Other examples filter up through your mind more gradually, but his is the most salient.

"Vwell... evweryone respects--"

> You think about the fact that he was even broken in the first place because he was protesting her policies, biting the jeweled hand that fed him. He got what was coming to him, though...

> Your mouth settles into a stubborn line

"...Evweryone SHOULD respect the empress, if they're decent. Right?"

> Making such a tentative, heavily conditional statement at all in an argument, let alone then asking for confirmation, should probably be a sign that you're not really feeling it.

carnivalsoration "What is the difference, I wonder, between respect of somethin dangerous, like not playin with fire, and respect of someone's opinions because you value their input and believe they would value yours."

> He's so stubborn and so panwashed by all that propaganda, but he's slowly coming to important realizations that will shape him. And you're proud of him for it, it's sure not an easy thing to do.

"Decency is subjective. You gotta ask yourself what you think is decent. Gotta come to the conclusion, yourself, what you value in a person. Convictions are personal. I want to know what yours are, when you think about what you value most in a person."

vwarlordvwanderlust "You don't need to believwe someone vwould vwalue your input to respect their opinions. Eridan doesn't givwe a shit about anything I say, but he's a good kid and he knowvs lots of stuff."

> Mmm. You feel weird about all this. It's another elaborate test, and you've failed every single one he's given you before it.

"Vwhy do you vwant to knowv?"

carnivalsoration "Oh, but tell me if that makes you less likely to have meaningful conversations with him. Like the one we're having right now."

> Feeling weird is a normal part of this process. It sucks though. You don't like it either.

> You give him a wry smile at his next little question.

"Because I want to respect you, for your own sake."

vwarlordvwanderlust "Sure, I guess."

> Not that that proves anything.

> Hm. You look at him, really look at him, trying to gauge his sincerity.

> You continue to suck at that. Fortunately, you just assume he's sincere.

"I guess... Loyalty. Passion. Honor. Ambition, and uh, success too. It doesn't matter if you don't succeed, haha. Bravwery. The usual?"

> You don't sound especially certain, but then, it's not a question you've had cause to think about much. Not explicitly, at least.

carnivalsoration "I don't wanna hear about the usual. The expected answers. Those are buzzwords, words everyone likes and likes to think about themself. I want to hear somethin that could be individual to you. You ain't everyone. You're you. You got your own shit to bring to the table and I wanna hear what Cronus Ampora, specifically, values."

vwarlordvwanderlust "I don't..."

> This is a Big Question. Him first.

"Vwhat vwould you say, someone asked you that?"

> You have literally no clue. Maybe his answer will be inspiring.

carnivalsoration "I value people who have conviction but are open to change. I value people who respect thoughts different than their own, and can learn from things they don't experience. I like people who will hear me talk about my gods and not dismiss everythin I say. I like people who are thoughtful about their enemies as well as their friends. I like people who get angry. And I like people who can control their anger. I respect people who have knowledge but don't assume they know everything. I respect people who have been through shit but still know not to apply what they know universally, without context. I like people who are different from me."

vwarlordvwanderlust > Well, at the very least, you sure get angry.

"Vwowv, that's. A lot."

> You jam your hands in your pockets and look to the side.

"I dunno. I just. Like people vwho like me."

> That's the dumbest and truest thing you've ever said.

carnivalsoration > Welp, that didn't Quite work.

"What makes you dislike people?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "I guess I don't like it vwhen people..."

> 'Are mean to me'. Shit. You need a different one.

> Kick at the ground. This is so complicated.

"It's obnoxious vwhen people don't care about anything at all. There's so much *stuff*, and some people can't be bothered to pay attention to any of it. This is vworse than the torture, because it's making me face howv boring I am. "

> (Just kidding, you won't actually face that for a good while yet.)

carnivalsoration > You hum, consider him. "You're not boring. Not really. You're just... Not finished. You're like an artist and your canvas. And you've got all your outlines set up, but there ain't any color yet."

> Better continue on before he gets offended, delicate little shit. "Still, that's important, that thing you just said. You don't like people who don't care. So it follows that you're drawn to people who do care. Does it matter, to you, what they care about?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > Rude.

> But yeah, it turns out dicking around on a guitar all night and fantasizing about killing aliens doesn't actually lead to much growth as a person.

"Yeah, passion, like I said."

> You think for a second.

"I guess... I mean, it's best if they care about shit that's interesting. I mean, I don't vwanna hear some nerd go on about model trains for hours. But I think caring about something enough to dedicate yourself to it is cool."

> You're kind of opening up again, even though this isn't exactly something you're used to talking about. You don't feel like you're on the edge of a wrong answer, though.

"Art, especially, though. Art is so..."

> Useful? Important? Nah. You fold back into yourself a little.

"It's neat, at least. I guess being interested in something practical is better."

carnivalsoration > You like that, like that he can see the value in giving a shit about things he doesn't care a lick about. Your expression has been steadily softening, and now you smile a little at his words. He's doing great. Keep going, Cronus.

> And then he says something a bit down again, a bit Alternian Standard, and you have to reach back for what he was so close to expressing. Something genuine about Himself.

"No, tell me more about art, brother. I wanna hear your thoughts. What excites you about art, about music?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You laugh a little.

"You're biased because you're a clowvn, but yeah, sure."

> You fall back into the subject with little encouragement, seemingly forgetting that this is the Big Scary Alternian Mentor Guy.

"Art is... Good art, to clarify, because there's a lot of shit out there. But art is beautiful evwen vwhen it's ugly, because art is honest evwen vwhen it's fake. All art tells a truth about the artist, y'knowv?"

carnivalsoration "I do know. I like that about art, I like knowin about people through what they do and how they do it."

> You don't mind the clown stereotyping. Just this once. It's true enough anyway.

"And what do you think your art says about you?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Vwell, if you havwe to ask, it must not havwe been saying vwery vwell!"

> You take that in good humor, though.

"I guess my public stuff, the newv music, is mostly about me being cool and tough and a loyal citizen. But subject isn't the same as message... It probably mostly says howv self centered I am."

> Candor!

> You do talk a lot about yourself in your songs.

carnivalsoration > You laugh a bit as well. "Well, the message I get and the message you intend can be two separate things. Art is individual even to the observers of it. But I think that comes across pretty well."

> You think it comes across that he's lonely and desperate.

"What about your private stuff, then? The stuff where you are the artist and the intended audience?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Vwell, I mean, that stuff's privwate."

> So's your vent blog, but this guy has that too.

> You stare off into the middle distance, because it makes you look cool and deep.

"I guess it mostly just says that I'm sensitivwe. Major character flawv, but sometimes the babes lovwe it, so it's a mixed bag. It's all about heartbreak and abandonment or vwhatevwer."

carnivalsoration > Oh fuck. Oh fuck it's so hard to not laugh at him sometimes.

> You keep back the chuckles and feel glad that he's staring off into the distance like a nerd.

"So you feel abandoned? Misunderstood?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Sure, yeah. I mean, it's not like people stick around."

> For Some Reason.

"Nobody really gets me, and nobody really cares to try. I guess you do, and San."

carnivalsoration > .... And That's about all the focus you're willing to have with this conversation.

"Well, me and saness are gonna do our best. So. Ya know. Try not to make it too hard on us."

vwarlordvwanderlust "I'll do my best."

> Grin, setting aside your Dramatic Melancholy for later.

"I like you guys, you're great. Vweird, but hey, vwho isn't?"

carnivalsoration "Who knows. No one I wanna chill with."

> A few seconds of looking at him.

"Hey I got shit to do and I can't really do it in this busted up hive."

vwarlordvwanderlust "No, yeah, I vwas just about to ask if you vwere ready to dip."

> It's time for lots of introspection, followed by promptly discarding all the conclusions you come to that feel bad.

> This was. Something. Lots of things.

"Do you havwe your owvn vway back? San did."

carnivalsoration > You're not sure he actually was. You're just a little tired of dealing with a wiggler.

"Yeah," you motion to a bracer very similar to hers. "I'm pretty good on transport. Catch ya later?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Seeya around, boss."

> Fingerguns and wink. God you're charming. Time to go.

carnivalsoration > You disappear! Bye bitch.